#that top gif is the most beautiful thing i've ever made

[wistfulwatcher]

7.04 Painless | 5.02 Haunted

[entitled-fangirl]

Snowfall.

Cregan Stark x Dornish!wife!reader

Summary: the reader is feeling a bit out of place as the Warden's wife.

A/n: Based on an ask w/liberties taken!!!

Masterlist

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"Things are quite cold here," she admitted aloud as they sat at breakfast.

Cregan smiled as if the thing she stated was the most obvious thing he'd ever heard, but he would never mock her for it. "Indeed. And when summer ends, the snow will return. Have you ever seen snow, dear wife?"

She stared at him for a moment, wracking her brain at the question. "I've read it in novels, I think."

"Novels?" He chuckled. "Aye, I suppose it's nice when it's only in pages while you read it in the sun of Dorne." He takes a long sip from his cup before continuing. "When winter comes, the chill settles into your bones." He looks at her, clearly going somewhere with his choice of words. "I mean no disrespect to you, but tell me you've packed warmer dresses than the one you have on."

Her cheeks flush as she looks down at her dress. 

"It's not that it's not a beautiful dress," Cregan is quick to correct as his smile falters. "In fact, it's quite stunning on you. But it has no place here. It will not keep you warm." He sits on his words for a minute before a thought came to him, "Are you not cold now?"

She tugged at the sleeve of her dress, becoming insecure of her clothing. "It is sufficient, my lord."

His smile falls, "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Seems the cold has indeed gotten to you, for your heart is becoming chilled as well." He leans forward, placing his arms on the table, "My name is Cregan. You know that well. Do not become formal if I offend you." 

She quickly shakes her head, "You've not offended me."

He stands up, his chair forced back with a loud noise. His fingers begin to pry at the top of his cloak, pulling the strings apart that keep it on his shoulders.

She stands as well out of respect. He's confused by it- ladies don't stand for men. Quite the opposite. But he doesn't question it as he moves to her.

"Here, try this," Cregan smiled as he wrapped the cloak around her frame. Warmth enveloped her body as he tied it on her.

"You don't have to do this for me."

"I know, but I wish to." His smile turned teasing, "Will you deny a Lord his wishes?"

She grinned, "Never."

"Good." He kissed her forehead, "I wouldn't want my lady to feel the chill."

He gestures for her to sit again, pushing her chair in for her. He sits down as before. "Let us finish this meal, and I shall call for a seamstress." His grin grew. "She will have Stark patronage for a long time."

…

"Something the matter?" He asked quietly.

Y/n looked up at him, "Hmm?"

Cregan reached down and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. "Something is bothering you. I can tell."

She shrugged lightly.

He let out a sigh, pulling her hand up and placing a kiss on the back of her hand. "When you're ready, you can speak to me. I hope you know that."

"It's just," She looked around the courtyard and leaned in, "the stares."

"The stares?" He repeated. He looked around also, his brows furrowed. "It's only the people getting used to you."

"It's been almost seven months."

"I suppose it has," He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "Perhaps your beauty is just distracting. Surely the stares don't truly bother you?"

"It's not just the stares, Cregan. They all whisper, too."

"Well, you don't look like them. Most northerns never journey outside of their cities. You intrigue them."

"Cregan-"

"-My love, please. Don't let such a thing take up space in your mind. You're my lady of Winterfell. The rest does not matter."

"Perhaps they think me a spectacle."

"They do not think you a spectacle."

"Then why don't they speak to me?"

Cregan sighed, "I don't know, my love. I don't know."

…

Cregan made it his mission to ease his wife's worries. 

"I believe they're just intimidated to speak to her," the maester tried to ease to Cregan.

"How so? She's sweet spirited."

"Aye, but they do not know that when you're constantly casting a shadow over her." The maester chuckled. "Perhaps you're the intimidating one yourself, my lord."

Cregan grinned, "Perhaps indeed." He takes a moment to think. "What shall I do then?"

The maester thinks for a while himself before reaching a conclusion. "Show them that she is human as well," his eyes lit up, "Show them she's approachable."

"No," he quickly denied. "I don't want people just… approaching her. She's the lady of Winterfell."

The maester let out a sigh. Cregan held the same stubbornness as he did when he was young. "My lord, if she does not feel welcomed in her new home, she shall be miserable."

"The new is wearing off, and I'm afraid misery is inevitable if I don't do something." He let out a frustrated groan. "The North is cold and miserable on a good day. I'm running out of ideas."

"You cannot force the people to bend to your will, nor her. Perhaps you just… focus on your relationship with her, and the rest will fall into place?"

Cregan sighed in thought. "Yes, I believe I shall start there."

…

Luckily, their bond was quite well developed at this point, the two going as far as to say that they love one another. 

"I've been thinking about what you said," she finally spoke up.

Cregan looked up from his papers to her. "And what's that?"

"About the snow. I do truly wish to see it."

He nods, "Be patient, my dear. Winter is close at hand."

She stands from her chair, walking towards him. "But how close? How long must I wait?"

Cregan considered her question. "Less than weeks, I'd assume at this point. He eyed the warmer dress on her frame, "You've noticed the change in the air, haven't you?"

"I have," she nods. "It's quite frightening. I didn't know the air could bite so hard."

He grinned, "You will adjust, I swear to you. Your dresses are warm enough, yes?"

"Quite so. Thank you again."

"I'll make you a promise, little wife." Cregan leans back in his seat. "The first snow of winter, I shall personally introduce you to it. How does that sound?"

A bright smile came to her face, "You'd do that?"

"Of course. Consider it done."

…

True to his word, the first snow came at an unexpected moment. 

Cregan had left for the day, but the second the first snowflake fell to his cheek, he forced his horse to turn around and head back to Winterfell.

"Get Lady Stark for me," He barked at a servant as he handed the reigns off to a stable boy. "And make sure she's properly dressed."

 Minutes later, she walked through the doors of Winterfell to the Courtyard. Her eyes widened at the sight of Cregan with his hair covered in snow. 

"I had a promise to keep, my lady," he said with his hand extended to her.

She stepped out into the yard with hesitant feet, her body uncertain of what to make of this.

The people in the courtyard watched with curious gazes at their lord and lady.

When she reached Cregan, she took his hand. "It's not dangerous?"

"Not like this," he grinned. "When there's a lot of it, yes. But for now, you may enjoy it."

Her other hand reached up to his shoulder where snowflakes lay on the furs of his cloak. She paused centimeters from it, unsure. "May I?"

He nodded, "Of course."

She reached out and touched a flurry, watching it melt into liquid against her hand. Her brows furrowed. "Is it water?"

"Yes. Merely cold water."

She tried again, pressing her entire hand to his cloak and flinching back at the sudden intensity of the chill. She let out a gasp and tucked her hand back into her cloak. 

"Easy," his grin grew. "It's only the chill."

"You did not tell me it hurt."

"That is the nature of it. The more there is, the more likely it may hurt." He reached out and takes both hands now. "Do not give up on it. Try again."

She hesitantly does so, reaching out again, this time aware of the feeling that will come. The flakes melt on her palm and instead she lets out a breathy laugh. "And how long does winter last, Cregan?"

"Longer than it should, dear wife." He reaches up and caresses her cheek, "Have you had enough?"

"No, I could never!" She smiles. 

Cregan looked around, noting the people around them that tried to hide their obvious gaze. He was used to it at this point. 

…

"Cregan, you will never believe what has happened!" She grinned widely as she marched into their chambers. 

He quickly gave her his attention in worry. "What? What has happened?"

"I have been invited to eat with northern ladies tomorrow!"

Cregan brows furrowed, "Have you?" His panic turned to relief as he took her in his arms. "That is wonderful news."

"The woman who invited me was so kind! Lady M…" She tried to recall her name. "Morn…"

"Mormont?" He finished with a smirk.

"Yes! Lady Mormont! I promise, I won't forget again! She asked about Dorne as well! No one has asked me of Dorne. It was so refreshing, Cregan!"

"Lady Mormont is kind indeed, sweet girl. You are safe with her."

"So I may go?" She asked in shock.

He was stunned for a moment that she was asking his permission. "My love, your Dornish may think me a brute, but I will not hold my wife away from what makes her heart the fullest."

Her arms wrapped around his neck and her face pressed to his chest. "You are wonderful to me, Cregan," her muffled voice sounded against his chest.

He chuckled, "I've only done my best to make a home for you, my girl."

"Perhaps being northern is not all bad," she teased. 

He pulled her away from him with a confused look. "What do you mean?"

Her smirk grew, "It's not all bad. It's got… kind women… and… beautiful mountains… and… handsome men."

He pulled her to him, bending down to speak lowly in her ear, "Handsome men? Are there more men fighting for your attention?"

She giggled, "I misspoke. Handsome man. Just one. Their leader."

A low chuckle came from his throat, "Aye, there are pretty women too."

When she looked confused towards him, he grinned. 

"One, at least. And she's Dornish."

He pressed a heavy kiss to his lips, groaning when she returned it fervently.

…

He would never tell her how earnestly he had prayed to the Old Gods for that first snowfall to be a kind one for her to enjoy.

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Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver

[princesimonsblog]

I need to talk about Charles’s death scene because it's the most beautiful death scene and one of the most beautiful scenes in general that I've ever seen.

It starts with quick flashbacks of what happened previously, Charles defending that kid and then getting himself attacked by his friends because of that. We've already seen all that.

But then it switches to him, alone and shivering, in the attic. We know what is going to happen. We already know he is dying. The light is cold, just like he is.

Then, enters Edwin, holding a lantern, bathing the attic in a warm colour. And Charles can see him. We and Edwin know why, Charles doesn't, yet.

Edwin wanted to bring him the lantern in case it helped, but it's already too late, Charles is dying. So he stays. They talk, Edwin answers Charles's questions, all while Under the Milky Way plays in the background (and what a beautiful song). Charles learns that Edwin is dead and is a ghost and he looks sad for Edwin, but he asks more questions, until he can't anymore.

When Charles doesn't have much energy left, he's not shivering anymore, his body can't even do that anymore. He's too tired to talk. Edwin reads him a story, changing his voice according to the characters.

Charles looks out the window as Edwin's voice fade in the background.

Then, we see him standing near that window, in a tank top, no longer wearing that blanket. At first, we don't see Charles's body, giving us the time to understand what just happened. And then he turns and sees his own body. He just died.

And despite knowing that throughout the whole show, Charles is a ghost, seeing his memory of his death still hurts. It's unfair. He was killed by his friends because he chose to do the right thing. But it's also beautiful, because Edwin was there. Edwin made what would have been a cold and lonely death a warm and friendly one, despite the fact that they were just strangers back then.

Charles then choses to stay with Edwin, and it's the start of a beautiful friendship between the two, a much more beautiful existence then they both ever had when they were alive (or even in death in Edwin's case, when he was in Hell).

This scene never fells to make me cry. It's so sad and beautiful. It makes me feel so deeply for him, a beautiful soul whose life got cut short.

And another reason why I love this scene so much is because it's when Charles and Edwin first met. It's how and why they became friends. This scene wrecks me on so many levels and I'll never shut up about it.

[kamaluhkhan]

you are so gorgeous (it makes me so mad)

pairing: young!coryo snow x fem!reader

summary: clemensia dovecote has a theory that you and snow are destined for an enemies to lovers arc. you're sure it's completely, absolutely not true...right?

warnings: 18 + smut; biting + mention of blood ; both reader and snow are not the best ppl and have some very classist/elitist opinions

a/n: finally!! i wrote one of the ideas that has been haunting me ever since i've been back in my hunger games obsession + watched tbosbas...needless to say this will likely be a series inspired by taylor swift's reputation album. also i am so sorry this is unedited bc ofc it's 3am when i had the motivation to write this but i hope y'all enjoy ♡

i've had enemies so intense it felt like love, so mutual it felt romantic (chelsea hodson)

"what in the name of all the gods is he doing here?"

you're practically seething when coriolanus snow walks into your foyer. he's wearing an ensemble made with crisp white silk and intricately embroidered with gold thread - elegant, eventhough its silhouette would have been fashionable last year. a single white rose sits in the pocket of his jacket. he surveys the crowd, like he's calculating who's most worthy of his attention, platnium blond hair perfectly curled and practically glowing under the light of the chandelier. he looks beautiful, almost angelic.

you absolutely hate it.

"oh, i invited him," clemensia dovecote informs non-chalantly.

coriolanus makes eye contact with you from across the room, and you turn your head sharply to your best friend.

"why would you think it was okay to invite him?"

clemensia smiles mischeviously, grabbing two champagne flutes from a passing silver tray. she hands one to you.

"i know the two of you have your petty squabbles — "

"they are not petty, nor are they squabbles," you grumble, taking a sip of your drink.

your contempt towards coriolanus was perfectly reasonable and absolutely mutual. he had some ridiculous notion that snow had to land on top, that it was his right to be there instead of yours. your relationship, if you could call it that, was limited to nothing more than snide remarks, sarcastic comments, and scornful stares. you both hyperaware of the importance of keeping up appearances, but the older you got - the closer to life outside of the academy and the higher the stakes - the more any sense of civility between you two faded. just earlier this week, you'd gotten into such a heated debate about the best way to increase viewership for the upcoming 10th annual hunger games, that your professor excused you both from the class early due to the disruption. it seemed that no one knew how to make you burn with anger quite like coriolanus snow.

clemensia rolls her eyes. "whatever you want to call it, i actually think the two of you would get along if you really tried."

one of the things you admired - and, frankly, loathed - about clemensia was her determination to always prove herself right. she had this theory - one you would call ludicrous - that the tension between you and coriolanus had nothing to do with academics or status and everything to do with wanting to rip each other's clothes off.

your eyes catch coriolanus' icy blue ones again and you down the rest of your drink. obviously, clemensia was wrong about this. so, very wrong.

"well," you huff, setting your empty glass down on another silver tray that passes by. you brush invisible dust off your dress - a deep red lace, short and form fitting with exaggerated long sleeves - and add: "you'll be lucky if i invite you to my next party."

clemensia might have had the sense to apologize then, but you walked away before she had a chance.

you allow yourself to weave through the crowd, greeting every guest with an equal facade of enthusiasm and grace. you smile as brightly at one person as you do the next, showing off your newly bleached teeth and making sure that everyone feels special. silver trays of food and drinks appear and reappear throughout the crowd, being carried by nameless waiters. there's a table overflowing with gifts concealed by crisply folded wrapping paper - you expect at least half of them will be worthless.

you put up a good front, but soon enough your lipstick needs reapplying and your hair readjusting, so you briefly excuse yourself lest anyone notice a crack in your perfectly constructed image. the door to your room is slightly ajar, and you open it to reveal none other than the person you'd deliberately, but not so successfully, tried to ignore all night, his white silk shirt stained a dark crimson that happened to match your dress.

coriolanus was furious when he found out you'd invited the entire graduating class, except him, to your birthday party. you'd even invited sejanus. it wasn't that he particularly wanted to celebrate you, of all people. you were the most brilliant, biting, enfuriating person he knew, but to be excluded in such a way was insulting. when clemensia extended him the invite, he jumped at the chance to prove to everyone, to you, that he belonged here. tigris curated his outfit, and it would have been perfect had arachne crane, vapid creature she was and ever the lightweight, spilled an entire glass of red wine on him. he hurried away before anyone could see him in such a humiliating state. coriolanus is in the middle of calculating his options when you walk into what he now realizes is your bedroom.

you don't say a word at first. you haven't said one to him all night. instead, you close the door behind you and your eyes graze his figure.

"you show up to my party, late no less, and now you're parading around in what looks like a bloodstained shirt that is far too outmoded to be appropriate attire for this occasion," you remark, displaying that signature fierceness. "are you trying to ruin my birthday, snow?"

"don't blame me," coriolanus scoffs. his shoulders tense and he makes a point to stand up a bit straighter. "blame arachne for not being able to hold her alcohol while she's complaining about the food."

"oh?" you raise an eyebrow. "what did she say?"

"something about people in the districts having better options."

"vapid bitch," you mutter under your breath. you walk over to your closet, disappearing for a few seconds before bringing out a fresh shirt. you extend it to him, but he doesn't take it.

"i can't very well have a good time when one of my guests looks like he just got killed in the hunger games," you huff. "so either you put this on or your leave my party. now."

coriolanus holds your gaze, his jaw clenched, before giving in and taking the shirt from you. he goes to undo the buttons of his shirt, but stops when he notices that your eyes never leave him.

"some privacy would be nice," he says sharply.

you roll your eyes, muttering something about it being your house and your room, before sitting across the room at your vanity. as he undresses and throws his soiled shirt on the floor, coriolanus watches you closely. you meticulously apply lipstick, the shade of red almost as dark as your black nails.

you were attractive, there was no denying that, but ultimately dangerous. because you weren't carelessly cruel like arachne, nor did you wear your heart on your sleeve like sejanus. you didn't use your family's status as an excuse to avoid hard work like felix, nor were you a spineless know-it-all like clemensia. no, you were different from the rest. you had a fiery ambition and a sharp tongue, a wicked streak with just enough charisma to lure people in. sometimes when he thinks of you, coriolanus recalls stories his grandma'am once told him and tigress, about sea monsters who would tempt sailors with their bewitching voices and enchanting beauty, enticing them to risk everything - to jump into the ocean and never be relevant as anything more than a midnight snack. you were a constant, suffocating reminder of how quickly he could lose everything if he lost control, if he gave in.

coriolanus watches you set down the tube of lipstick before picking up a compact. you lightly brush the shimmery powder inside over your face to accentuate some of your gorgeous features.

the desire that burns throughout his body now has to be a side effect of the few glasses of liquor he managed to drink, allowing himself the appearance of having a good time alongside everyone else without losing control.

your eyes leave your reflection momentarily, and you finally catch coriolanus staring at you. you wink at him from across the room just as he's finished with the last button. the way you look at him makes the collar of his shirt feel tighter.

he can not give in....but what's the harm in admitting, just for one night, that he would let you drown him? devour him? beg on his knees to give you pleasure, and then thank you after the fact?

coriolanus clears his throat. "this feels wrong. i should be the one gifting you with a new shirt. it's your birthday, after all."

you let out a breathy laugh, setting down your makeup. you walk over to him, until there are only a few inches between you despite the vastness of your bedroom.

even you had to concede that coriolanus snow had such a gorgeous face for such a vicious person. you're infuriated by how elegant he looks now, in your shirt. your hands busy themselves in smoothing down his already perfect collar and you take note of the intensity of his heartbeat. you notice the way his jaw remains clenched, his posture stiff, his skin flushed. you realize that he must be trying so hard right now to retain his composure around you and you feel something that can only be described as triumph.

you smile at him, sickly sweet, and remove your hands from his body. "the best birthday present i could get is winning the plinth prize over you, snow. we both know you're not good enough, let alone better than me."

he hesitates slightly before responding.

"sorry, valerius. that's the one thing i can't give you. is there anything else you'd want from me?" he whispers, words dripping like honey.

"that depends, is there anything you want from me?"

he hums, moving his hand to cup your cheek. he begins to trace your lips with his thumb, ruining the look you had so meticulously crafted.

if only you knew.

"you're the birthday girl, sweetheart," he chides. "i'm supposed to be the one giving the gift. you do know how birthdays work, don't you?"

he's mocking you, you know that. he's trying to make you feel weak and small. you had the power a second ago, his heartbeat in the palm of your hand, and normally you wouldn't stand for him turning the tables. you'd push him away, storm out the door. but right now all you want is to tug on his perfect blond curls, to bite the smirk off his lips. maybe it's the way he's so close and can't seem to take his eyes off your lips or the calculated amount of wine you drank that's made your head a bit foggy, made you put your guard down. made you start to entertain the idea that maybe possibly clemensia's theory had some truth to it.

"why don't you surprise me?" you suggest.

coriolanus surges forward and kisses you with such ferocity, he might as well be a man starving. teeth on teeth on tongue. you instantly tangle your hands into his hair, pull on some curls just to see what he'd do. he retaliates by biting down on your bottom lip, hard enough that you taste the metallic tang of blood mixed with the remnants of honeyed wine on his lips. you whimper and pull away slightly. he holds your face firmly between his two hands, so you cannot go too far.

"sorry." but he smirks, and you know he doesn't really mean it.

eventually, you've both stumbled onto the bed half-naked. coriolanus positions himself above you, effectively caging you in with his arms and legs. you take note of his lean thighs, his bare torso with skin taut around his bones. you're almost taken aback by how frail he looks - like a malnourished teenager from one of the districts. you reach out to trace the outline of his ribs, your nails scraping against his skin, and he shudders. your hand moves lower, teasing the waistband of his underwear. he stops you before it slips underneath the material.

instead, coriolanus begins to indulge in his deepest fantasy. he kisses and sucks and bites down your body, his tongue trailing down your chest, over your breasts and around your nipples, across your stomach. he laps up your soft whines, the curses that tumble from your lips for him to do something more. you sink further into the silk sheets when he arrives between your thighs. you raise your hips, desperate to find any sort of relief, and you feel his nails dig into your hips.

"patience," he teases, his breath fanning over where you needed him most. "so needy." you could practically feel coriolanus roll his eyes.

"i swear to god snow, if you don't do something soon. i-i'll go find someone else to fuck me. felix, or maybe sejanus --"

you yelp when his teeth sink into your inner thigh. he looks up at you, eyes the darkest blue you've ever seen them.

"don't," coriolanus warns, and he gets back to work, lips actually arriving at where you needed them most.

after you've reached your high, he comes back up to kiss you, allowing you to taste yourself. when he pulls away, you take note of how his lips and nose shine with remnants of you. the way he looks at you while he licks his lips shows you that he wants more. you move your hand down, and you're deeply satisfied when you feel him half hard, already sticky with his release.

"oh." you smirk. "you already finished."

his eyes widen, skin flushing pink. you could feel his heartbeat grow faster above you. you could imagine he was debating the best way to restore his dominance from before. yet, here he was, nothing but a horny teenage boy who came untouched as he was eating out his worst enemy. you find it in you to not call him pathetic, but instead decide, in your post-orgasm haze, you find it endearing.

"i-i didn't mean to, but --"

"i'm just that sexy when i cum," you suggest, running your hands through his curls to calm him down. "how about we try again, pretty boy?"

soon enough, he's sitting up with his back against your headboard and your legs wrapped around his waist, his length fully nestled into your warm cunt. coriolanus' blunt nails graze your hips, moving lower to your ass to guide you with each thrust. you love seeing him underneath you, seeming completely mesmerized by how your breasts bounce up and down in front of him. he leans forward to wrap his lips around your nipple, but you beat him to it. you bend forward and suck bruises onto his skin, everywhere and anywhere: underneath his chin, across his collarbone, where his neck meets his shoulder.

his moans are so loud, and you're sure he's not going to last much longer. you're also worried that some of the other party guests might catch you, so you pull his head away from your shoulder and crash your lips back onto to his. you swallow his moans as best you can, tongues fight for dominance, but he lets out a deep groan, and lets you win. you bite down on his bottom lip just as you reach your climax, causing him to let out a deep groan once more.

you gasp when he suddenly flips you over, pulls out of you and stokes himself a few times before painting your body with his release. coriolanus all but collapses on the bed beside you. you're both breathing heavily for a few moments, on your backs looking up at the ceiling, before he turns on his side towards you. coriolanus trails hs fingers down to your abdomen, sticky with his cum.

"i told you: snow lands on top."

"was that a joke, coryo?" you guffaw, genuinely surprised at the mischievous but playful glint in his eye. a bit surprised at yourself, too, for using his nickname that you'd so carefully avoided. you had to remind yourself that he was still the same coriolanus snow you'd grown to hate.

the boy tangled in the sheets beside you, his messy curls translucent under the light of your chandelier, his skin glowing with sweat and decorated with lipstick and rose-petal bruises. the boy who now smiles at you with dazzling blue eyes, leans closer and whispers:

"don't get used to it. it's a special occasion." coriolanus kisses you sweetly, and you shiver before he adds: "happy birthday."

this boy in bed with you now is the same manipulative, power hungry snake who would stab you in the back if need be. and, the truth of the matter is: you aren't much different, either.

you get up to grab his wine-stained shirt, use it to wipe off his release and toss it back down to the floor.

his eyes follow you the entire time, even as you come back to straddle him again. almost instantly, you feel him harden underneath you. you hold his head in your hands, kiss him deeply, tease his bottom lip between your teeth as you pull away.

"snow lands on top, huh? not for long, if i can help it."

[fanaticsnail]

Pet Play: Bartolomeo

Birthday Celebration Masterlist

Word Count: 3,500

Themes: Bartolomeo x f!reader, Straw-Hat reader, mdni, 18+, smut, nsfw, Dom!reader, pet!Barto, praise kink, oral, gendered terms and endearments used.

Notes: first time writing for Barto, and I adore him. Day 5 of my birthday event!

It had been eight agonizing days of traveling with your crew alongside the Barto fanclub. Whichever way you turned, there was another picture of your face thrust into your body, with teary eyes and pens offered for you to sign the image held within by your fans. You appreciated their assistance, and did enjoy the fact that your captain gathered himself a following of devoted individuals, but it had began to overwhelm you.

As a Straw-Hat, you were a deity to be worshiped upon the pedestal held by the crew and captain of the Going Luffy. It was initially quite confronting, which then dove into overwhelming, and now simply infuriating. Their blatant disregard for your personal space had managed to make your skin crawl, and your lack of privacy had you so pent up you could burst in a rage at any moment.

The Thousand Sunny had little to no privacy as it was. Even living with a small crew of a few individuals made it difficult to find time to yourself to rejuvenate your energy - let alone now sharing the same air as those who couldn't bear the thought of leaving you alone for more than was required to allow for your sleep.

What made it worse was the green-haired captain’s eyes. Those dark eyes upon his war-painted face would always find yours and beam up at you as if you were the most important thing in the world to him.

Captain Bartolomeo the Cannibal's were the eyes you would see each time you lay down to rest. Those eyes that looked up with child-like wonder as he expressed how much he adored you and his beloved Luffy. Those eyes you felt singe your back with their intensity each time you faced away, only to snap hastily anywhere else as soon as you caught him out.

It was too much.

A small call of your name broke you out of your seething, prompting you to turn to your two companions either side of you.

“Something the matter, dear?” Robin asked softly, checking you over with her knowing expression, “Have they been giving you a hard time?” She leaned back on her lounge chair to reach for her drink Sanji dutifully prepared for her.

“To be honest with you,” you confessed, piquing the interest of your copper-haired companion beside you, “This is the first moment I've had with just you guys since they came aboard.”

“Oh, I know,” Nami hummed thoughtfully as you spoke, darting her eyes towards the crowd and back to you once more, “Everywhere I go, it's just ‘Beautiful Miss Nami,’ or ‘Most Honorable Nami,’ or I think I got ‘Powerful Nami,’ at one stage - which I actually quite liked.”

Both you and Robin chuckled at her admission, garnering the attention of Bartolomeo as soon as he heard it.

To him, hearing the Straw-Hat women smile and laugh alongside him was the greatest symphony he'd ever witnessed. He felt compelled to tell you all as such, which prompted him to immediately rise to his feet and head up to the top deck towards the three of you.

“See, those names are beautiful, Nami,” you complimented her, which earned you a smile from her in response, “All I got was ‘Miss’. But yes, it's been really hard getting a moment's peace-.”

“-All of the beautiful Straw-Hat women in one spot, all lounging together like goddesses amongst us mere mortals,” Bartolomeo exclaimed with a wonder to his tone.

You groaned, hanging your head on your shoulder and pouting towards Robin. She chuckled and pursed her lips, giving a polite acknowledgement to Bartolomeo as he continued to sing praises of her ferocity and beauty.

He then focussed on Nami and spoke on her weather techniques and how much joy seeing her lightning gave him. His knack for storytelling and overemphasis on the words had you rolling your eyes and attempting to ignore him, but it was no use.

Each time you opened your mouth to speak to Robin, Bartolomeo’s growling voice barked out a whimsical wonderment towards Nami. Just as he began another tirade of how truly in awe he was to her polearm fighting techniques, you couldn't take it anymore and snapped at him.

“Down boy! Sit! Fuck, do I need to leash this guy?” you growled at him, causing him to immediately slink away from the three of you with his jaw slack. Before you had an opportunity to rephrase your wording, he plonked himself down on the floor, crossing one leg over the other and nodding at you in a frantic bob.

“You can leash me,” he whispered breathily, nodding once more with his eyes wide and wanting. “If it would make an angel more beautiful than anything my mind could conjure up in my dreams happy, I would do it-.”

“-Oh, stop with the praise, damn it,” you dismiss him, “Or I'll be forced to muzzle you too.” Nami sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to stifle her laugh while Robin drew her straw up to her lips and drank a small mouthful of the liquid.

Bartolomeo’s eyes rolled in his skull, his whine caught in his throat at the picture you gave him.

Of all of the Straw Hats, aside from Luffy, you were his favorite. He was always too nervous to approach you while either you or he was alone, simply because he felt as if he couldn't control what he would say to you. What was he to do, admit he had been in love with you the moment he captured your news clipping in his hands? Surely not.

“You don't need to muzzle me,” Bartolomeo confirmed with you softly, “I know how to behave. I can be a good boy for you.”

“Oh yeah?” you taunt him, leaning forward and challenging him with your glare, “You gonna be my good boy?”

Nami turned her head, her eyes wide while containing a squeal at the interaction between yourself and Bartolomeo. Robin’s smile grew in a large grin, her teeth now exposed and giving her an unhinged aura about her.

“I'll be anything you want me to. I can be your good boy,” Bartolomeo confessed breathily, your glare shooting sparks straight down to his cock and causing it to twitch against the seam in his pants. You reached forward, collecting his smooth chin in your fingers and smiling suggestively at him.

“Anything I want you to be?” you nod, looking down your nose at him and nodding suggestively. He mirrored your nod with his brows peaking at the center of his forehead. “Do you think you could start with being quiet? Then followed by you and your crew leaving us alone for at least two hours more than our sleep schedule every damn day?”

Nami burst out laughing, no longer able to contain her teeters. Robin’s soft chuckle joined hers, but your challenge never moved from your face.

Bartolomeo felt all of the air swell in his lungs at once, his breath snatched from him while being held beneath your stare. He let out a soft whimper, causing you to almost feel bad for him before he collected your right hand within both of his and tugged it tenderly away from his chin.

“If that's what you want, mistress,” he whispered, softly leaning down and pressing his forehead to your knuckles, “Then I'll keep myself and my crew away from you all when you need your space. I can be quiet. I promise.” He raised his head up and once again and beamed emotionally up at you, “I didn't mean to offend you with how much I like you all. I'll be quiet. I can do it, mistress.”

Your lips parted as he stood, releasing your hand from his grip and bowing low to you once reaching full stature.

“I'm sorry, ladies,” he nodded, raising his head to meet your eyes and depict his honesty, “I'll be whatever you need me to be. If you need me to be quiet, then I'll be quiet. I'll keep them all quiet. Again, I'm sorry.”

He backed away, causing your eyes to maintain their contact against his as he did so. Robin slowly held her eyes on yours and smirked as she noticed the slight hitch in your breath and fluster on your cheeks.

“Well, that was certainly something,” she chuckled contemplatively. “How did it make you feel?”

“A big ol', green-haired, sharp-toothed puppy dog following your orders,” Nami cooed beside you, causing heat to continue rising in your face and tips of your ears, “Did you see the way he looked at you? So devoted and needy.” Both women teased you with a soft coo, causing you to growl and hide your face in your hands.

“Fuck…” you whispered softly, raising your fingers to pinch at the bridge of your nose, “Something about the visual of him in a collar, leash, and muzzle did something. Damn it.”

“Hey, we don't Kink-Shame on the Thousand Sunny,” Nami pointed out, Robin nodding with a soft hum beside you in confirmation, “You wanna leash him, I'm pretty sure Sanji or Zoro might have something you can use. Or maybe Franky could make something for you-.”

“-You’re making it worse,” you growl at her. Her laugh once again rang melodiously through the top deck and down to the joint crew now being reprimanded by Bartolomeo.

“Don't you want him to be your ‘good boy’?” Robin probed you, “Have him sit by your heals and do little tricks to earn a reward?”

“Robin, damn it-!” you again groaned at her, “Not. Helping.”

“Would it help if we watched the door for you?” she shrugged nonchalantly, “Have you and Bartolomeo in a room together for you to invoke some discipline on the needy pup?” You turn and glare at her, causing her to place down her drink to raise her hands in submission.

“This was not meant with disrespect, love. I mean it,” she nodded at you, turning to Nami and nodding at her too, “We've all been pent up for a while, and you and the captain have chemistry together. Your auras align, and I'm sure he would want to continue exploring that with you.”

“Oh yeah? And what am I going to do?” you flail dramatically. Gesturing down to the bottom deck where Bartolomeo was gazing at you like a devotee up at his idol, you continued, “Go and say: ‘Alright pup, come and show me what a good boy you can be and follow some orders in my quarters’? Be real, Robin.”

“That's precisely what I'm saying,” she nodded at you, gesturing down to the base of the Thousand Sunny and shooing you with a soft flail of her hands, “Now off you go. Get your good boy.”

“Oh, fuck,” you whined, immediately feeling compelled to rise to your feet and leaving their company, “You're both so mean to me. I hope you're happy.”

“Not as happy as you're about to be-,” Nami snickered, only to be silenced by a scowl you sent towards her.

“I’m going to my quarters,” you growl at them both before taking a few steps towards the deck and peering down, “Let me have my fun.” Pursing your lips, you exhale a soft whistle to gather the attention of the cannibal on the surface below you. Clicking your tongue at him, you caught his eye and bobbed your head towards the hallway beneath the ship.

“That was always the plan, love,” Robin smiled at you. “We’ll make sure nobody bothers you until you're needed, which won't be for a while, will it, Nami?”

“Nope. Weather is perfect, and land isn't in sight for about four hours or so,” she nodded at you, “Go get that big puppy to learn some tricks. He looks like he'd be an animal in bed, and with a title like ‘cannibal’, you just know he eats well.”

With another exasperated sigh, you fled to the bottom deck towards the corridor where Bartolomeo was waiting for you. He was antsy, rocking on the balls and heels of his feet while avoiding your eye contact. Gently reaching towards the larger man, you flick at his chin to raise his eye line to your face.

“Does the offer still stand about being a good boy for me?” you tilt your head and dart your eyes between his. You hoped the tension you felt earlier was not unrequited, your pussy already beginning to gather a wave of arousal at your slit.

“Anything you want me to be,” he confirmed in a repetition of his earlier sentiment, biting his lip and gazing innocently up through his eyelashes at you. “Let me be your little pet. Collar me, leash me. I'm yours.”

A soft whine caught itself in your nasal, guts clenching in thick knots at his admission. Reaching forward, you take him by the hand and begin leading him towards your room.

Opening the door, he has a moment to take in the most hidden and intimate look at his second favorite Straw-Hat after Luffy.

The scent, the colors, the presence: the you. Everything was you, and he needed to commit each crevasse to memory in case you asked him to leave. While he was distracted, you reached below your bed and found your hidden lingerie collection and chose the items you thought he might enjoy.

While you would prefer to collar and leash him properly, give him a pretty name tag with your name on the inside of the material, you made do with an intricate slipknot to lovingly place over his neck made from a garter and a small length of rope used for bondage as a makeshift leash. Stripping yourself hastily from your clothes, exposed and completely bare, you finally turned and sat down at your desk and hooked one knee over the other.

He took another look at your bed before he finally turned away to view what you were doing with the rope. Turning towards you, his eyes grew so wide he felt they might flee from their sockets and roll onto the wooden floorboards.

“Well, don't just stand there gawking,” you rolled your eyes and revealed the little collar and leash, “Come here and let me put this on you.”

“Hhhgnm-...” Bartolomeo whined for you, dropping to his knees and wriggling along the floor while humbling himself before you. Once at your ankles, you leaned forward, giving him an eyeful of your exposed breasts and pebbled nipples as you drew the garter over his neck. Tugging on the leash, he played along to your motion and fell into your shin.

“Gonna be a good puppy and get a treat?” you tilted your head, gently parting your thighs and removing your knee from its place laced with your other, “Show me how much of a good listener you are?”

Bartolomeo felt as if he had ascended to another plane. A Straw Hat was giving him a behind the scenes tour of their quarters, and inviting him to be blessed with the opportunity of making them cum. He felt like his heart could explode, his panting breath picking up in intensity as he almost hyperventilated in glee.

“Barto…?” you softly checked in with him, “Is this too much? Would you like me to tone it do- OH FUCK-!!”

Barely giving you a moment to expel the words of concern, Bartolomeo surged forward and began nuzzling and whining against your cunt. His lips were pursed as he kissed every inch of skin greedily, tongue darting out to flicker at your crotch and taste your skin.

“Barto, w-wait-!” you attempted to reign him in, tugging the stretchy collar and trying to pry him away from your exposed area. In lieu of pulling him back, your grip on the collar only made him want to try harder to lick and suck your skin. Just as you pulled once more to pry him away, Bartolomeo managed to flick his tongue over your clit which had you cry out for him.

“Oh, fuck-!” you hissed down at him, “Barto, please make me cum?” You hooked your thighs over his shoulders, trapping his head between your thighs and angling his larger head to get a better angle on your entire pussy.

With one hand on the leash, you drew down your other and gripped his green hair while bucking up into his face.

“More on my clit please, pup,” you directed him, grinding your pussy against his eager smile. He immediately drew his lips up and circled your clit with a soft purse. Messily sucking on your clit, he parted his lips and kept the top lip rubbing the small bud while his tongue flicked and slithered against your slit.

“Mmm-! Fuck, good pup,” you whined, contorting your face in a pleasured scrunch and grinding into his lips. “Good listening. K-Keep going.”

Bartolomeo’s eyes never left your face, mapping and committing each motion to memory and whining into your pussy. His cock felt painfully hard beneath his pants. Already dampening the crotch of his patterned material, precum leaked from his small slit at the top of his cock at each small utterance of praise.

“There you go, good pup,” you keened for him. Your pussy was so wet, and with the additional combination of Bartolomeo's enthusiasm, you felt your ecstasy building rather quickly. It had been so long since you had a moment alone to think for yourself, let alone touch yourself, and it was beginning to show with how needily you groaned and whined for Bartolomeo.

“Mm, keep going. S-So close, puppy,” you praised him. Your grip grew firmer on the leash, fistfuls of green hair now burning at each follicle in a way that had Barto rocking and humping his pants while consuming you vigorously. He loved each moment, and he knew he was going to cum untouched as soon as you exploded over his face.

“Oh, baby, you're gonna make me cum,” you whine, feeling neediness continuing to take over your motions. He hummed desperately into your pussy, hoping you like the vibration he adds to your experience. He lulled his tongue out lazily, and bobbed his head messily up and down, while paying attention to your clit and slit.

You could ask Bartolomeo to do anything, and he would do it no questions asked. He would fuck your asshole with his tongue if that's what you wanted, have you sit on his face and ride him if you preferred it. All that mattered to him was making you cum. He needed to make you cum like the way his body needed water.

“Mmmfphmmm-!!” Barto babbled enthusiastically into your pussy, swiping his tongue against you with a ‘plap, plap, plap’. While the language was incoherent, the message was the same.

‘Cum for me.’

The pit in your stomach tightened to a point you felt it could snap, prompting your pitch and praise to get both higher in frequency and pitch.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck-! Barto, you're gonna make me c-cum-!! Oh, fuck. I'm cumming-!” You messily rode his face, holding onto the leash of your green-haired puppy while screaming for him. The world shattered like glass, your ecstasy cresting from your chest and swelling your bloodstream with pure bliss. Clear cum drooled out from your slit, Bartolomeo eagerly lapping it up while you chased your high.

As soon as you cried his name and warned him, he couldn't help it. Hot bursts of untouched release painted the insides of his pants and briefs as he muffled what sounded like your name into your pussy. Bucking wildly while sucking on your clit, he rode through his untouched high with his tip squished against his tight pants.

Coming back down from the crashing waves of bliss, you released the leash and his hair, peering down at him with a lazy glow illuminated in your skin.

“Good puppy,” you giggled at him, causing him to groan lovingly at the praise, “Lap it up, baby. Gotta get all cleaned up before I take that pretty cock you're hiding from me beneath those pants.”

Where Bartolomeo would usually say: “I don't think I can cum so soon, I just creamed my pants at the thought of you cumming in my face,” these were not usual circumstances. He was with his second favorite Straw-Hat, and he was not going to disappoint you.

However long you were willing to spend with him was a blessing from the gods, and he would be held at your mercy until you were ready to tell him to stop. You were a goddess to him, and he was a zealot to your altar.

“Good puppy,” you praised him, scrunching up your nose and cooing down at him. “Now get on the bed. Behave for me.”

“Yes mistress,” he whined at you, giving you needy kisses to the thighs and aiding you into his arms to bring you to the bed, “I'll keep being your good puppy for you. I can listen.”

You couldn't help the small whine that fled your throat, truly relishing in his complete and total submission to you. You then caught yourself wondering how much you could get away with by calling him your good boy. Would he let you peg him? Would he let you tie him down? Would he let you ride his face? Would he let you bite him? Would he let himself bite you with his sharp teeth if you asked him to?

All of those questions would find their answer over the next three hours of senseless and animalistic ravaging taking place on your mattress, followed by such sweet tenderness you had never known prior.

He was so sweet to you, and you praised your good puppy until you both fell asleep in the arms of one another.

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory @jadeddangel

🎶"Happy Birthday to Me"🎶

If you would like to celebrate by indulging my caffeine and bubble tea addiction, my Kofi link is here.

[weasleyreidstyles]

between the shelves

for @thatdammchickennugget's hogmarch challenge!!

prompt 1: "is it that, or is it because you're in love with me?"

pairing: theodore nott x reader (no house specified)

warning(s): none

~∞~ a short little drabble – i've never written anything for theo so i thought i'd give it a shot.

There are many beautiful mysteries within the castle walls. That includes Hogwarts' expansive library that holds every book one could think of, and more. It's earthy tones and the smell of ink on parchment paper permeates the air at all hours of the day and the rustle of books is the only sound, besides idle chit chat that fills the vast room.

Right now, you despise the library.

The table that you and your potions partner had chosen was small and crammed into a corner of two towering bookshelves and the heat that magically swept through the room seemed to be set to sweltering hot as you sat, clinging to the fabric sleeves of your cardigan, which you refused to remove. There are potions books strewn across the table, which you absolutely abhor to look at, especially as his deft finger trace featherlight patterns against the worn covers as he jots a note down onto a separate piece of parchment for the assignment the two of you have been tasked with completing.

It all seems physically impossible. The fact that you're totally abysmal at potions, paired with the way Theodore Nott made you so nervous. Sitting in the sweltering library with him, is the last place you want to be right now.

He was one of the most popular boys in your year. Star quidditch player; top of all his classes without even having to try; he had more friends than you had fingers and he was just so godsdamn attractive. Everyone either wanted him, or wanted to be him in some capacity. Sometimes when you looked at him, jealousy festered in your gut because how can he sit in lessons so nonchalantly, but still remain just below Hermione Granger in all of them? And how can someone be made to be that fucking attractive?

It was not fair.

But more often than not, when you catch yourself staring at him (it happens more frequently than you'd care to admit) you find yourself constantly picking out the little things about him that make your heart soar.

Like the way his nose twitches irritably when his slightly curled hair falls over his eyes, yet he refuses to get it cut shorter.

Or the way his mouth tilts into a devious smirk that has people swooning instantly.

When he's on the quidditch pitch, his agility could rival the professional. He was truely a real talent and he could have an amazing future career, you think.

But the most fascinating thing about him are his eyes. Theodore has the most captivating eyes you've ever seen. They are a kaleidoscope of blues and greys that you find yourself wishing to get lost in.

Unbeknownst to you, Theo looks up from his note taking and watches as you stare off into space, the potions book in front of you long forgotten. His lips lift into that arrogant smirk that you seem to admire quite a lot as he abandons his own work in favour of staring you down.

You must be miles away in your own mind because you barely concentrate on the fact that he's looking so deeply at you, that he may as well have been staring right at the makings of your very soul.

"Have you got a staring problem, dolcezza?" he asks, his deep voice a mixture of smooth and raspy. It makes your heartbeat pick up in speed as you're jolted from your wandering thoughts.

"I'm bored." You mumble, moving your hands, which are resting on your lap, to lay upon the table so that you can lie your head down. "Potions is so draining and it's so bloody hot in here."

"Is that it, or is it because you're in love with me?"

You sit up abruptly, eyes wide and mouth threatening to gape like a fish out of water as he merely stares back at you with his brows slightly raised. His smirk is widening, almost to a full blown grin. Gods he's so pretty, is all you can think as you roll your eyes at him.

He lets out the lightest of snickers as you ignore him and open your abandoned book, in favour of evading his gaze. But he could already see the blush crawling further and further across your cheeks.

"You can admit it if you want to, darling." He says teasingly, his voice is arrogant and silky and it makes you blush even more. "I don't blame you. Everyone seems to be in love with me."

He smiles prettily at you as you glare at him from across the table.

"No one like an egotistical brat, Theodore." you retort, but there's no bite in your words – there never is when it comes to him. And as he stares you down, you swear you can see the reciprocation in his gaze, but it's gone almost instantly when he turns back to his own notes.

One day, you'd tell him how you felt.

Today was not that day.

[dfortrafalgar]

Distraction

Portgas D. Ace x Fem!Reader

You and Ace intended to spend the day at the beach, but he can’t seem to be able to relax.

Warnings: modern au, so much smut. like so much smut. wet, sticky smut. 69-ing briefly. reader is also written to be on the chubbier side (im projecting <3) ace fucks you in the back of his car, basically. MINORS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

I woke up thinking about Ace today so I cranked this out in, like, an hour. It was a nice change of pace while I've been finishing up IMLY and the Luffy fic from my poll, which is almost done! (speaking of which, thank you for 200 followers <3)

Ace hadn’t seen your swimsuit yet.  All he knew about it was that you purchased it recently on a shopping trip with a group of your friends, but it was currently concealed under a light t-shirt and denim shorts.  Throughout the drive to the shoreline, he was anxiously eyeing your bare thighs, his grip on the steering wheel of his station wagon turning his knuckles white.

“What’s got you so nervous over there?”  Your airly voice shook the freckled man out of his daze.  “Eyes on the road, hotshot.”

“It’s nothing,” he blurted, pouting and turning his attention back to the road.  Maybe he should have you sit in the backseat when your skin was exposed.

His own friends often joked that he was no better than a dog.  It wasn’t his fault that his sex drive was higher than cruising altitude… or maybe it was.  But he couldn’t help his wandering eyes when the soft skin of your plush thighs was exposed, or the way your deft hands fiddled with your cuticles as you stared out the window, sparkling eyes taking in the cloudless summer day as the backroads passed by on the drive to the beach.  Most of your evenings together were spent with either his head between your legs, your head between his legs, or your face smushed into a soft pillow while Ace desperately railed you from behind.

It was a good life, that’s for sure.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been to the beach,” you suddenly stated, turning your head to look at your flustered boyfriend.  “I’ve only ever been swimming in pools recently!”

“Yeah, me too,” he replied, his voice shaky.

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern.  “Ace, are you really alright?  Your face is kind of red.”  You reached your hand over to press your palm to his forehead.  “You don’t feel like you have a fever, do you?”

“Nah, I feel fine.  Honestly.  Just… thinking.”  One of his hands left the steering wheel to rub his sweating palm against the fabric of his swim trunks.  All he had on, other than the baggy trunks, was a white tank top that had a very unfortunate oil stain around the chest area.  He was sure his entire upper body was flushing red with the debauched thoughts that plagued his weary brain.  He hadn’t even seen your bathing suit yet and his mind was running in circles.  (He started to debate calling up that therapist that Sabo recommended.)

“Well, tell me if you really don’t feel good.  I don’t want you to force yourself to be out today just because of me,” you cooed, your voice soft and comforting.

He needed to tell you to stop talking.  Even the sound of your voice made butterflies swarm in his gut.

He might as well have been ovulating.

After what felt like an eternity, the trees surrounding the backroad route he had taken began to dissipate, replaced with the beautiful sight of the shoreline.  The ocean spanned outward as far as you could see, disappearing along the horizon and blending in with the bright blue sky.  A few small beach houses dotted the shore.

“You said this was a public beach, right?” you asked curiously.

Ace nodded, swallowing a thick glob of spit.  “Public, but very minimal.  There’s some private properties surrounding it so a lot of people assume the entire place is off-limits to locals, but there’s a small parking lot set back from the beach near a tiny bathroom shack-lookin’ thing.”

You grinned.  “Nice.”

“Do you not like public beaches?” he inquired, tossing you a side eye as he pulled further down the road, approaching the aforementioned parking lot.

“I don’t mind them,” you replied.  “But sometimes really busy beaches make me nervous.  Sometimes I don’t feel comfortable swimming when there’s too many people around… I get self-conscious in my bathing suits!”  Your statement was punctuated with a fluttering, nervous laugh as you involuntarily squeezed the skin of your thighs.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that when I’m here,” Ace replied, flashing you a cheeky grin.

The parking lot seemed sparse.  It was entirely gravel with a few decrepit wooden fences separating where cars could park, some overgrown weeds poking through the impacted dirt here and there.  Sure enough, there was a brown, run-down bathroom shack between the beach and the parking lot.  During high tide, it almost seemed like the entire area would get flooded, but the gravel was drier than bone thanks to the beating sunlight.

You dug through your bag, removing a tube of sunblock.

“I thought you already put on sunscreen before we left,” Ace said, pulling into a spot and putting his beat-up station wagon in park.

“I did, I’m just putting some extra on my face,” you responded, uncapping the tube and squeezing some of the white gel onto your fingers.  You deftly rubbed the lotion onto your skin, across your cheeks and brow, down your nose, and down your neck.  

Ace needed to look away from you as your hands trailed down your neck and across your collarbones, ridding your hands of the excess lotion.  You weren’t provoking him on purpose, he knew that, but clearly his dick was taking charge of the day.

Little prick.

The two of you excitedly exited the car, grabbing your small umbrella and towels to find a nice spot to set up camp on the sand.  You were quick to lay down your towel when you found a spot, Ace digging a deep hole into the ground to mount the umbrella and provide a shelter from the beating sunlight.  Only a few other people were dotted around the beach, mostly older folk who were most certainly retired and enjoying their elderly days basking in the sunlight.  The thought made you smile.  You watched with glittering eyes as Ace pulled his tank top over his lean body, his muscular chest rippling with his movements, letting the cloth fall into his bag in a wrinkled heap.

“Oh, shit, forgot the cooler,” Ace mumbled suddenly.  “I’ll be right back.”  He swiftly turned tail and hiked through the sand back to his car.

You smiled, crawling under the umbrella and feeling the sand beneath the fabric shift below your knees.  You slid your denim shorts down your legs, shifting your weight to pull them off before folding them neatly and tucking them into your beach bag.  Your shirt followed, your hands hooking under the bottom hem and pulling it up over your head, repeating the process of folding it and storing it away.  Weirdly enough, you felt more comfortable on this beach than any other.  While some old folk liked to gab, the sparse population on this beach seemed more than willing to keep to themselves.  And there was no risk of creepy men your age or obnoxious teenagers to toss rogue comments about your body or shitty pick-up lines.

And you had Ace, of course, who would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked.  The thought made your stomach flutter with glee.

Back in the parking lot, Ace was quick to haul open his trunk and grab the small cooler they had packed with water, some sodas, and some light snacks, slinging it over his bare shoulder and slamming the door closed.  The hinges made a terrible squealing noise as the door moved.  He really needed to get that fixed.  He quickly jogged back to the shoreline with the cooler bag in his possession, his sandals making scuff marks in the gravel.

He almost died and came back to life when he saw you from behind.

Your clothes were off, your body hugged in a bikini that looked sculpted for you and only you.  The strawberry-print bodice was tied around your neck and below your shoulder blades with thin straps, the front of the suit being held together in the front with a metal ring between the bust.  Your plump breasts peeked over the seams slightly, making blood rush to Ace’s face.  The solid-colored bottoms squeezed your hips and ass perfectly, with one side open and held together with strings in an intricate criss-cross pattern.

Ace’s feet were moving on their own, his soul ascending from his body as he floated toward you.

You heard the rustle of his swim trunks from behind you as you approached, turning to look at him over your shoulder.  “Hey!  All set with the cooler?”

He plopped to his knees on his own towel, the cooler hitting the ground with a thud.  “Yeah, all set…”  His voice trailed off as if he wanted to say something else.

You gazed at him with confusion painting your features.

“You… you look…”  Ace could barely look at you.  “You look so fucking hot… oh my god.”

Suddenly, his demeanor in the car made much more sense.  The constant red flush painting his adorable freckled cheeks, his mouth in a perpetual tongue-tie, his lips pursing together tightly as he struggled to keep his composure.  Your lips pulled into a bright smile, relishing in the flustered behavior of your boyfriend.

“Aww, thank you, baby!” you cooed, moving closer to him.  Your hands trailed down his arm, ghosting over the tattoo on his bicep before teasingly falling to the cooler and unzipping the top, pulling an orange soda out of the bag.

“Please don’t tease me, I think I might explode,” Ace huffed.

You popped open the can with a satisfying click, taking a quick sip from the opening.  “You know… I don’t think anyone’s going to mess with our stuff if you want to go back to the car…”

Ace’s dark eyes darted toward you, assessing the mischievous expression on your face as you kept the cold soda can pressed against your mouth.  The metal was rapidly developing condensation thanks to the heat in the air, droplets of water dripping down the orange can and onto your fingers, plopping against your folded knees.

He carefully removed the soda from your hands, tucking it back into the cooler to make sure it didn’t spill, before standing up and hauling you to your feet, dragging you by your hand across the hot sand and back to the parking lot for a third time.  He ripped his car keys from the pocket of his swim trunks, shoving the metal key into the door lock to open the vehicle before leading you to the trunk and popping open the door.  You quickly clamored inside, him following behind you and closing the trunk from the inside.  He chucked his keys somewhere towards the front of the car.

He wasted absolutely no time in smashing his lips against yours, making you wince slightly at the feeling of his teeth hitting your own, but the way his long fingers expertly groped the skin of your breasts below your bikini top made you forget about the momentary discomfort.

After a few stifling moments, Ace pulled away and heaved into the skin of your neck, holding you down by your shoulders.

The best part about him owning an old, refurbished station wagon was the ample amount of room in the back, as well as the lack of center console between the two front seats.  It was a car built for fucking.

“Is this what you were thinking of on the ride over here?” you asked, a coy tone on your tongue.  “About what my new swimsuit would look like?”

Ace grumbled, a childish pout on his lips as one of his hot hands continued to rub patterns up and down your side.  Up to your breasts, his thumb ghosting over your concealed nipple, trailing down your waist and groping the plush flesh of your belly, down your thigh to squeeze your ass.  The way the strings on the exposed side of your bottom piece fit into your skin made his cock throb.

“You’re insatiable,” you giggled, your own hands leaving scorching patterns over his shoulders and arms.  “Are you ovulating?  You’re acting like me before my period.”

“Shush,” he grumbled, followed by another sweltering kiss, all tongue.  You felt a dribble of spit leave the corner of your mouth, sticking to the skin of your cheek.  His lips moved against yours, exchanging a blistering heat.  Ace always seemed to radiate warmth even on the coldest days, and his presence in this moment filled your body with a heated, lustful buzz.  Goosebumps rose on your skin when he pulled away from you leaving your front exposed, gently biting your puffy lower lip with his teeth.

“How worried are you about someone messing with our things on the beach?” he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

You adjusted yourself slightly below him, his knees beside your hips caging you onto the floor of his trunk.  “Hmm… not too worried.”

“Perfect,” Ace replied swiftly, tugging his swim trunks down.  

He had such a nice cock, perfectly shaped with a cut tip that flushed a beautiful rosy hue.  A slight upward curve, lean and not too long, perfect.  He was either hard for the entire time you were setting up your small spot on the sand and you hadn’t noticed, or he was fighting with every fiber in his body to keep the erection at bay.  Whatever the circumstance, the fantasy of spontaneously fucking you in the trunk of his car in that sexy bikini of yours that he daydreamed about on the drive down was finally coming true.

Your hands made a move down to your hips to pull on the fabric of your bottoms before his fingers wrapped around your wrists, halting your movement.

“Sorry,” he uttered, his voice a soft whisper filled with a desperation you rarely saw from him.  “Your suit stays on.”

Your mouth morphed into a grin as he released you, leaning back up on his knees and idly stroking his cock with his right hand.  You parted your legs for him, making a show of smushing your breasts together under your tight top.  God, your suit could have been molded onto your body, it looked so good.

“Are you going to stay there and jerk off over me, or are you going to share some of the fun?” you asked deviously, one of your hands crawling below your bottoms and teasing your clit with the slick that had built up.  A pleasant, tingling flutter resonated in your belly and floated down your thighs, but nothing was better than the feeling of his fingers and cock doing the work for you.

“I want to do everything to you,” he muttered, releasing his dick from his slow ministrations.  “I don’t even know where to begin.”

You watched as it bobbed in the air, so hard it held itself out away from Ace’s toned stomach.  You involuntarily licked your lips at the sight.  “You’re so pretty…” you muttered.  You took it upon yourself to sit up, gently pushing against Ace’s shoulders to get him to sit on the trunk floor on his ass, leaning against him further to get the hint to lay down in the position you had just been in.

Neither of you had a strictly dominating or strictly submissive attitude.  Rather, you mutually shared the moment, taking charge when you wanted and snatching the lead away whenever you pleased.  This was one of those moments as you rotated your body on top of his, moving your ass closer to his face as one of your hands ghosted along his hip bone, your other arm supporting you and keeping you upright.

Ace got the hint almost immediately, his greedy hands groping and squeezing your ass as he pulled you downward to rest your clothed cunt against his mouth.  The hotness of his breath and the feeling of his lips against your weeping pussy concealed by the polyester made your breath hitch as your lips traveled closer and closer to the tip of his dick, watching hungrily as it seemed to pulse in the air, desperate for attention.

Your boyfriend made the first move, pulling you down by your hips and resting your cunt over his mouth, his tongue forcing its way between your folds through the suit and quickly finding your clit.  You gasped, your arm shaking somewhat as you quickly followed his lead, wasting no time in taking his cock into your hot, ready mouth.  

And goodness, did he taste good.  A familiar slightly salty musk partnered with the residual scent of his daily body spray, a vanilla and cedar flavor that always made your heart flutter in your chest.  His cock might as well have been burning as you hollowed out your lips and took him further down your mouth, loving the way the organ pulsed against your tongue.  

On the other end, Ace’s fingers had found their way into the fabric of your bathing suit, holding the barrier aside as two of his digits spread your natural slick over your cunt and lubricated his skin before he pressed them into your pussy, addicted to the way your muscles constricted around him.  Your entrance was always on the tighter side no matter how many times you fucked, and it was absolute heaven for him.  He turned the pads of his two fingers forward, pushing gently against the roof of your vagina where he knew you were acutely sensitive, and smirked to himself when your thighs clenched around his head.  Your movements over his cock momentarily stuttered at the feeling of his thumb connecting with your clit to simultaneously stroke the needy bud while passionately fingering your pussy.

He knew you too well.  He knew what you needed.  Ace wasn’t a selfish lover, he had learned your quirks and needs very early on in your relationship.  You loved your clit rubbed in somewhat slow circles, alternating between various pressures.  You responded to his fingers against your g-spot, and you loved when his dick curled upward into the same area.  Not too deep so as to hit your cervix, which hurt you quite a bit, but deep enough to reach those sensitive areas that had your legs shaking.

You learned quickly too, however.  Ace’s tip was the most sensitive part of him, his breaths growing shallow when you delicately sucked your lips around it and trailed your tongue along the slit, collecting the small amount of salty precum that emerged from the tip.  He loved it when you gently fondled his balls, rubbing the wrinkled skin between the pads of your fingers.  He adored the inside of his thighs being caressed, and you tried your best to do both with one hand as the other trembling appendage fought to support your weight as you continued to blow him.

You popped off of his cock momentarily, stroking the base with your hand.  “Did you have fruit recently?” you asked, turning your head somewhat to look over your shoulder.  Not like you could see much.

Ace paused his motions against your pussy.  “... Maybe.”

You grinned, the usually salty, bitter taste of his essence now replaced with something slightly sweeter.  You wanted to egg him on, to ask him if he had planned for this to happen and eaten some pineapple or citrus with his breakfast in preparation, but you decided to keep your inquiries to yourself and return to your task of sucking him off.

Ace was content to keep fingering you, his current position in between your thighs a bit too difficult to involve his tongue, but he knew he could please you regardless.  The circular movements of his calloused thumb against your throbbing clit had you sucking in sharp, lustful breaths through your nose, small whimpers leaving your throat and vibrating down his shaft making him bite his lip and stifle a wheeze.  Your thighs were quivering as he continued to curl his fingers into your g-spot, following the rhythm of your lips around his cock.

After some moments, however, you quickly scrambled off of him, your hand clutching around your stomach as you pivoted above him, capturing his lips in yours.  You ground your clothed cunt over his pulsing cock, keeping it locked between your pussy and his toned abdomen.

“Now who’s the desperate one?” he asked, teasingly, his signature boyish smirk traveling right back to your clit.

“I can’t help it, you’re contagious,” you huffed against the skin of his cheek.

Usually, the two of you used lube.  It didn’t matter how wet you got thanks to foreplay, the sensations were always heightened when there was no risk of chafing.  But clearly, you didn’t have that luxury today.  Nor did you have any condoms.  Instead, you bit down your thoughts, reserved yourself to spending 70 beri on the morning-after pill later that day, and hovered over his cock.  You pulled your swimsuit to the side and took his dick in your hands, wasting no time in slipping it through your folds that were thoroughly drenched thanks to Ace’s expert fingers.  

The first insertion always hurt somewhat.  A slight, red-hot throbbing pain that radiated through your pelvis, followed by a pleasant pressure as his cock slowly intruded into your tight muscle.  The groan that radiated from Ace’s throat made your pussy flutter.  

That was another thing you loved about him.  He was loud.

Maybe on a normal day you’d be worried about someone hearing you, or seeing the way his car shook with the force of your collective moments, but both of you had succumbed to desperation and couldn’t care less.  Traumatize the elderly beach goers who might happen to walk through the gravel parking lot to their own cars.

You sunk fully down onto Ace’s hips, his dick perfectly nestled inside your wet and willing pussy as his hands tightly gripped your hips through your suit bottoms.  You slowly rocked your hips, desperate for some extra friction against your clit.  It was much harder with the fabric covering you, but eventually you found a movement that felt just right.  Edging your hips slightly forward, you rolled your pelvis against his, dragging your clothed slit over the taught skin of his lower abdomen, moaning at the feeling of his dick pulsing within you.

Maybe you really didn’t have to worry about lube today.  Every motion against the walls of your vagina had you biting your lip and arching your back over him.

Ace’s hands assisted with bouncing you on his cock, his voice slowly increasing in volume as he watched you through half-lidded as your breasts jiggled with each movement, how the fat of your belly and thighs rippled so deliciously as you gyrated above him.  His voice was delectable, gruff and whiny, higher-pitched than usual with stuttering breaths and hitches in his throat that had your heart beating a mile a minute.

Your legs were growing tired, and Ace could tell.  He wordlessly beckoned you off of him, being quick to lean you over the back seats and move your suit to the side again, slipping his cock back in between your folds.  This angle always fit the both of you.  As much as Ace loved it when you rode him, taking you from behind came with many more benefits.  His free hand could travel down to dip beneath the cloth of your swimsuit and rub those delicious circles against your clit while simultaneously thrusting his desperate hips against your ass.  His chest pressed into your shoulder blades, his free hand supporting him against the back of the seats as you held onto the leather for dear life, whining with each motion of his cock against your inner walls and his calloused fingers against your clit.

It didn’t take long for you to unravel, the feeling of his rough finger pads against your desperate nub too much to bear.  Your orgasm approached slowly at first, filling your stomach with warmth, the insides of your eyelids flashing purple and indigo, before your body snapped and you were shuddering against Ace, moaning out loud as your pussy involuntarily clenched around his cock, your cunt feeling feather light as it fluttered.  The force of your orgasm caused you to gyrate your hips back against his, weak, airy moans escaping your tongue as the red-hot pleasure radiated through your entire body leaving your pussy buzzing with the aftershocks.

Ace was barely holding it together.  The force of your orgasm causing your pussy to clench around his cock had his arms weakening against the seat, his hips frantically rutting into you as sultry moans left his lips at the feeling of his cock burning inside you, begging for satisfaction.  His fingers never stopped rubbing your clit, caught up in what had essentially become second nature for him.  The overstimulation had you twitching around him, shallow breaths heaving from your lungs.  Ace’s pace increased as did the stuttering of his hips, his thrusts growing more shallow as his own orgasm approached.

“A-Ace… fuck, baby…” you whined, dropping your forehead against the back of the seat.  “You’re gonna make me cum again…”

The man was too caught up in the throes of pleasure.  Calling him desperate earlier was clearly an understatement.  A loud, throaty groan reverberated from his lips as his hips rapidly drilled into you, forcing you against the back of the seat.  His shallow breaths only helped to fuel your second orgasm that rocked you with a sudden wash of white light behind your eyes and you were shuddering against him again, your own moans filling the stifling air of the car.  

Ace barely had time to call out your name before he was thrusting disjointedly into you, crackled, weary moans leaving his lips as he came into your sore cunt, his hands pressing down onto your lower back to keep you still as he buried his cock into you, soaking you more than you already were.  You felt him pull out of you, your cunt fluttering around nothing as the sound of him falling backwards against the closed door of his trunk filled your ears.

Your own spent body dropped to the side, sitting on your hip and barely holding yourself up with one hand.  You slowly picked your head up, gazing at your boyfriend and assessing his condition.

Black hair mussed beyond belief, his freckled cheeks and shoulders flushed with a delicate red hue, his lips wet and swollen parted with the force of his labored breathing.  His eyes were closed, jaw slack as his pelvis continued to twitch from the force of his orgasm.  A few last drops of cum were bubbling from his tip, slowly dripping down his drenched dick that almost glistened, covered in your own fluids.  You felt wet between your legs.  It would have been a nice feeling if you weren’t already so stifling, your entire body feeling sticky.  You finally noticed the way the windows had fogged up.  You didn’t have time to think about carbon dioxide toxicity before Ace’s weary hand traveled up to the back window of his trunk door, blindly popping the window open a crack to let some fresh air flow into the car.  The summer heat felt oddly cool against your sweaty skin.

You slowly crawled closer to Ace, ignoring the way your drenched cunt sat uncomfortably inside your bathing suit.  You combed a damp strand of black hair off of his forehead before delicately pressing your lips against his cheek, encouraging him to finally open his eyes.

“You alright?” you asked, your voice low and quiet.

He finally smiled, his narrow, dark eyes filling your chest with warmth.  “I think my heart almost stopped.”

You giggled, running your sweaty hand up and down his skin.  “Should I wear bathing suits around you more often?  I don’t think you’ve ever fucked me like that.”

Your boyfriend’s humble laughter made you grin.  “For the sake of my health, you probably shouldn’t.”  He finally leaned forward to press a tender kiss against your wet lips.  “Though, if I were to die fucking you in a bikini, I’d die a very, very happy man.”

[huellitaa]

⊹˚. ♡ true beauty

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 what being kind does to you

heightened self esteem

increase empathy and compassion

tend to be healthier in all areas

helps form new relationships

better mental health

decrease blood pressure and cortisol

increase serotonin, dopamine & oxytocin

contrary to popular belief kindness is not something that should be overlooked. we've been taught to be kind hundreds of times and yet some of us never actually do it.

one epiphany i've had recently is that humans are such bigoted creatures. we think we have the right to do whatever we like just because we're the dominant species on this earth. we are top of the biological hierarchy, so therefore we have the right to do whatever we like.

another thing i've found is that that fact often bleeds into people's attitudes. people are so fucking rude nowadays honestly. maybe it's the fact i live in england, maybe it's the fact people are so entitled in this day and age they think they can do whatever they like to everything and everyone with no repercussions, but kindness seems scarce nowadays.

how is food made? by the people who take their time to make it for you, be it your local supermarket or your loved ones slaving away in the kitchen all day.

how do we sleep? because we care enough about ourselves to make sure we get rest to be energised and refreshed the next day and for the days to come.

how do we have clothes on our back? because people care enough to weave pieces of fabric together just so we aren't walking around bare and naked every day.

you want to become more likeable? be sweet. be kind. don't sacrifice yourself for anybody, but take the time out of your day to do something for someone. it will make their day i promise, even if it doesn't then you've still made yourself happy 😭 ♡

🐰𓂃 ࣪˖ little kind things you can do

send a letter to someone

bake or make something for someone

compliment someone every day

have a clear out and donate to charity

smile at everyone and anyone

greet someone you might see often but don't really talk to

promote a friend's work

get someone to go on a spontaneous adventure with you!!!

hide a list of things you love about someone in their things if you're too shy to just give it to them

offer to take someone's photo if they're struggling like a couple or a family

do something sweet for your neighbours

learn how to say hello in multiple different languages

encourage and listen to someone even if you don't know them that well

talk to someone who looks lonely and chat with them, don't leave them out

make something random for someone who was nice to you for no reason

sit down and have a chat with someone struggling with homelessness

put a surprise note or cute drawing on someone's desk or workplace

we are so sweet at heart!!! everything we know is born from love!!! everyone is born good!!! it's only circumstances that make people stray from that.

please don't stop giving, please don't stop caring, please don't stop loving with your whole heart; hold the door open for someone, give someone something, smile at someone, pet an animal, do something just to bring joy and love into the world a little more. the world is filled with so many people who have strayed from the path of innocence and we need those people back.

to have a kind heart is to be beautiful. true beauty is not found in the skin, but in the mind. the more you give, the more you love, the more you learn, the more you smile, the more you enjoy, that is what makes the world beautiful, and that is what makes you beautiful <3

the most beautiful people are always the kindhearted ones who will live the most and make the most out of their lives. love is the only thing that holds this world together. please don't stop giving it, ever; it is the most beautiful thing this world has to offer

all my love 🫶💝

[leclarifies]

i wish you would love me (CS55)

✰ carlos sainz x verstappen!reader ✰

summary → he would do anything to get you to love him, but he can only watch from the sidelines as you fall in love with his teammate.

genre → angst angst angst (im not sorry), self-indulgent, drabble

word count → 1.5k words

author's note → hello! this is my first iteration of breaking your heart with carlos sainz!!!!!! this is also my first time writing him so i'm sorry if things are a lil ooc, i haven't followed him as much as i do with CL16 & MV33.

carlos had always stole glances, whether he liked to admit it or not. some were lingering, but most of them were fast, quick, not wanting to linger long in case someone would catch him staring, he had grown fond of you.

you were the princess of the paddock, that was your title. some might even say that you're the queen of the paddock but you always denied the nickname, it was a silly nickname that your fans had given you and you didn't particularly feel like claiming it.

but carlos knew that you were indeed a princess, maybe the queen of his heart. he knew that with each second passing, he would slowly fall in love with you, maybe he already was. maybe he just didn't want to admit it to himself, much like the glances he stole.

you were the three time world champion's little sister and that meant that automatically by default, carlos was around you a lot. whether it was max's karting days and you attended his races, or him being on the formula one grid and you attending those races.

it didn't matter to carlos.

you were always nice to him, always smiling, always touchy but it didn't matter as you were touchy with everyone and that made carlos want to die on the inside.

why did you have to touch everyone so casually? why did you have to touch him and why did he feel like he was on top of the world when you did?

"carlos?" you soft voice had broken him out of his train of thought, he looks up to see you. your beautiful self standing in front of him, almost gracing him with your presence, "are you okay? you seem out of it."

"yeah, i'm alright. how are you doing, hermosa?" carlos' heart would not stop beating out of his chest, being in close proximity of you made his heart beat that way. you giggle and wave your hands in front of you, almost as if you were rejecting the small compliment that he gave you.

he found it cute, that you would always reject his compliments that way, whether intentional or not.

you scrunched your face up and rolled your eyes playfully, "you always flatter me with your nicknames, carlos," you giggled further and he stood up from where he was leaning against the wall, "i was going to ask you if you were coming to dinner tonight? you know, the ferrari one?"

carlos raised his eyebrow, how would you know about the ferrari dinner?

"yeah, of course. i am a ferrari driver afterall, aren't i?" carlos teased before you smile and laugh, carlos felt like his heart was going to fall out of his chest by how fast it was beating. you were near him and willing to talk to him, even though it was as simple as asking about a stupid dinner.

"yeah, i was wondering whether you'd come or not. charles invited me to the dinner just last night," your eye-smiles shone bright, even when you didn't mean them to. a pang strikes through carlos' chest, what do you mean by charles invited you?

"charles invited you? since when were you close to charles?" carlos asked, his eyebrow raised again as you were shifting feet to feet, carlos could tell that you were nervous by the question he asked, but you decided to come out clean anyway.

"me and charles have been... seeing eachother so i've been getting invited around ferrari events a lot."

maybe that was the day carlos' heart broke.

seeing you around his side of the paddock was nice, the way you smiled, the way you cheered the team on, it was exciting for carlos. he would be able to see you more often now, ever since you published your relationship with charles.

maybe he should've expected it. maybe he didn't notice it.

while he was stealing glances at you, you were stealing glances at his teammate and that stung like a little bitch.

you were always all smiles, always lovely, always polite, always touchy, and somehow he hated it. he hated the way you touched him— hated the way you touched charles.

your arms wrapped around charles' neck, holding him close as the two of you were captured kissing as charles took his win, he came second. always second best. never good enough. never good enough to win you over. never fast enough to see the signs.

he wanted you to come over to him, run up and kiss him the exact way you kissed charles, why did it have to be his teammate out of all people? why the one person that he constantly had to spend time with, whether willingly or unwillingly?

the love he had for his teammate was slowly becoming resent, becoming something he would never feel for his teammate naturally.

it sucked.

"carlos—"

"not now cha," carlos had brushed him off as he packed up his belongings from the garage, all he wanted to do was get home and sit with himself and his feelings.

"but it's important—"

"i said not now," carlos' tone was delivered with finality, which made charles stop in his tracks, not speaking another word. he was scared to, scared that he would piss off carlos more than he was right now.

what hurt the most for carlos was that he had talked about you to him multiple times, his eyes always animated when he talked about you and charles knew, he knew how much you meant to carlos but charles didn't catch on or maybe he didn't care.

"did i do something wrong?" charles asked, he was behind carlos and his shoulder tensed up when charles asked him the stupid question, carlos felt like he wanted to punch something at the moment and right now, preferably the handsome leclerc that stood behind him.

of course he did something wrong, he stole the love of carlos' life and carlos hated him for it. why did he have to do it? why did he have to take away something that made him happy? wasn't him getting kicked out of ferrari enough for charles?

why did everything have to go his way?

"it's nothing, i'm just upset about my performance today, that's all," carlos turned around to look at charles, he was starting to realize that it wasn't charles' fault. charles did nothing wrong.

the universe just hated him.

carlos had to sit in those painful dinners with ferrari, if it wasn't mandatory for him to come, he would've never showed up in the first place. he hated having to sit there and play nice, to sit there and watch you whisper into charles' ear and when he would whisper something back in your ear and then you would giggle, to sit there and to watch the love of his life slip away from his fingers.

he knew that you never held the same type of feelings that he harbored towards you, you would always be nice and polite but that was it, and maybe he took it the wrong way. it didn't matter to him now, all that mattered was you stole his heart and there was no way you were going to give it back.

with the months watching painfully from the sidelines, watching you fall in love with his teammate, you had an announcement to make tonight.

"hello everyone! thank you for coming to tonight's dinner," you had started, you looked beautiful tonight. afterall, you would always be his hermosa in his heart, "i just wanted to announce me and charles' engagement!"

charles stood up alongside with you and smiled, wrapping an arm that carlos wished were his, holding you close with a kiss on your temple.

claps erupted around the table and carlos was the only one not clapping along with the crowd.

if it wasn't possible before, carlos' heart broke for the second time tonight.

if it wasn't bad enough that charles picked carlos to be his bestman, it was the worst when he had to stand there and watch you be led along the aisle, arm hooked with jos verstappen and walking towards charles.

and yet again, he was watching from the sidelines. never the main character in your story, but always a secondary or maybe a step-in.

your smile was so bright, you looked so happy.

he wished you looked at him the same way you looked at charles.

as you finished your vows, tears escaped from carlos' eyes, not because he was happy for his teammate, not because he was happy for you but because he was upset that it wasn't him that you were marrying today. he couldn't bare to stay and watch any further after the vows, choosing to step out of the cathedral that you were getting married to charles at.

carlos was not the same man that he was before he stepped into that cathedral that day, and maybe it was for the worst.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Emily x Reader after Reader has a sh relapse, Emily patches and her up and assures her she's still beautiful by slow, gentle, loving sex and lots of cuddling please?

You got it, anon! Thanks for the request! :) Hope you like it!

Burning

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, NSFW, self-harm, depression, mental illness, sex, fingering, etc., injuries due to self-harm, brief mentions of an eating disorder, some explicit language (please let me know if I've missed anything!) Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: With Emily away on a case and a depressive episode hitting you hard, you fall back into a pattern you thought you'd kicked a long time ago. When she comes home and discovers what you've done, you're afraid it'll be too much for her. Emily does her best to show you that it's not.

You’d been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for what felt like hours, but was probably mere minutes. Time warped itself when the urges took hold, every second a lifetime of effort, until it became all the potential lives you might live stacked one on top of the other, and they were too heavy for you to carry.

The hand that held the unlit match was shaking, and you seesawed between the unbearable desire to scratch a painful itch and the knowledge that self-hatred that would flood you afterward. But at least the self-hatred and the pain would be something to feel, other than the abject hopelessness that had seemed to swallow you up over the last week.

You’d known a depressive episode was coming before Emily left. You could always feel them coming. But what were you supposed to say? Don’t go save people from a terrorist cell? Stay here with me because I’m scared I’m getting depressed and I need you? It’d be pathetic. You were pathetic. And it wasn’t Emily’s job to keep your mental illness at bay.

But she’d been gone longer than you expected–over a week now. And your depressive episode had hit you harder than you thought it would. You’d called out of work, you’d binged on food delivery, then hated yourself afterward, staring into the mirror feeling lower and lower and lower. Until the only way you could think to stop sinking was to shock yourself out of it.

You knew it wasn’t wise or healthy. You knew you’d feel even worse once the pain subsided. You knew that a relapse would make it that much harder to stop next time. You knew that if Emily was here, she would stop you, she would hide the matches and the lighters, she would be so, so sad that you’d even thought about hurting yourself.

But despite knowing all these things, the hunger for fire, for pain, was too much to resist. You scratched the head of the match against the matchbox and the flame leapt into existence. Your go-to spot in young adulthood had been your arms, but the burns wouldn't fade before Emily got back, and she’d notice them on your arms. This time, you held the match to the upper side of your abdomen, where your arms would hopefully hide the marks.

You scrunched your eyebrows and winced as the flame licked at your skin, the pain white and bright and hot. You wished you could explain to people that odd, addictive mixture of self-loathing and dopamine that hit you and made you feel simultaneously worse and better. You wished people understood the desire for it, that sometimes you wanted to feel worse because feeling worse made you feel better. But it was hard to explain. Even harder to understand. So you didn’t bother most of the time. You lit match after match until the box was empty, until your side was scattered with raised, red-white blotches, like a constellation of all the shitty things you’d ever been through or felt.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and hated what you saw. And it felt good to hate yourself, like a guilty pleasure.

You jumped at the sound of the apartment door opening and closing, and cold panic flooded your system.

“Hey, baby, I’m home!” Emily called from the entryway.

You quickly pulled a loose t-shirt over your head, wincing as the fabric brushed over the burns. She wasn’t supposed to be home yet. She hadn’t texted or called. She’ll hate me, you thought. She’ll hate me if she finds out.

Of course, Emily knew you struggled with self-harm. But you’d been in a really good spot when you’d started dating and had, for the most part, stayed in that really good spot for your entire relationship. You were in therapy. You had healthy coping mechanisms. You hadn’t relapsed in years. You didn’t know what had made today different from every other bad day in the last few years, but you knew you didn’t want Emily to know.

You silently cursed yourself for using all the matches; there were none left to light a candle in the bathroom to mask the scent of burning. You ran to meet her in the living room, hoping that by heading her off, the smell would have time to dissipate.

“Hi, honey,” you greeted her, forcing a smile. You took both her hands in yours to try and prevent her touching your side, which still felt as if it was on fire. You stood on tiptoes to kiss her, and she smiled, leaning in.

“I missed you,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around you. You flinched and inhaled sharply as her fingers grazed the burns.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, avoiding her eyes. “I just, um… fell earlier.”

Her hands fluttered over you, a worried expression on her face. “You fell!? Where!? Like, how hard?”

“Not that hard,” you said, trying to squirm away. “It doesn’t hurt too bad. Ow!” Emily had placed a gentle hand at your side and you couldn’t help your outburst.

“Well, honey, if it hurts that bad, you need to let me see it. We might need to go to the ER or something.”

You knew you were done for when she grabbed your wrist, hard. Emily was much stronger than you, so instead of fighting, you went numb.

You felt your whole world stop as she lifted up your shirt to see the scattered burns. You felt tears prick at your eyes. There were too many marks, and they were too symmetrical to have been an accident. You knew it, and Emily knew it, too.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, but if you did, you would have seen that her eyes were wet with tears she wasn’t going to let herself cry because you needed someone strong right now. If you’d looked at her, you would have seen a mixture of sadness and pity and heartbreak and undying love. You’d have seen the face of someone who wanted nothing more than for you to be okay.

“Y/N,” Emily managed after a moment. “Did you do this to yourself?”

You nodded, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“Today?”

You nodded again.

“How long ago?”

You looked at the ceiling, willing yourself not to cry. “Right before you walked in.”

You hated yourself. You hated yourself even more because you knew that Emily would feel awful. She’d think that if she’d just been a few minutes earlier, she could have prevented this. And you never wanted Emily to feel like your mental illness was her fault or her responsibility.

“Come here,” she said, gently taking your hand and guiding you to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, making sure the water was cool but not cold, then slowly pulled your clothes off. She nodded toward the shower and you got in, shivering under the chilly stream.

Emily sighed and sat down on the toilet lid, watching you. She looked tired, so tired. You hated to be another thing that exhausted her, another thing she had to take care of and fix.

“You should sit down,” she added quietly. “You’re gonna have to be in there for a while. Until they stop burning.”

You sat on the tiled floor, the water leaching the pain away from the burn marks, leaving only disgust and self-loathing in their place. You pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your face, trying and failing not to cry.

Your shoulders shook with the force of your sobs. You heard Emily stand and were sure she was going to leave. Why wouldn’t she? She deserved to. She deserved not to have to deal with you.

You jumped a little as Emily lowered herself into the shower next to you, clothes abandoned on the bathroom floor, and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. She pressed her face into yours as the shower drenched you both.

“Shh,” she soothed, careful to avoid your burns. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry, Em,” you wept, rocking. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she repeated. “You don’t need to be sorry. I love you. You’re gonna be okay.”

“I hate myself,” you whispered.

Emily gently grabbed your face and tilted it toward her. There were tears in her eyes, too. “Baby, please don’t say that.”

“I can’t help it.” Your voice was so quiet, so small, the sound of the shower almost drowned it out.

“That’s okay,” Emily said, brushing strands of wet hair out of your face. “We’re gonna get you some help, okay?”

You looked in her eyes then for the first time since she’d discovered the burn marks. You didn’t know what you’d expected to see: annoyance, disgust, hatred, or worst of all, ambivalence. But there was none of that in Emily’s eyes. Only love and concern.

Even so, you were scared to ask what you needed to ask. “Do you still love me?”

“Oh, honey, of course I do. I could never stop loving you.”

And then you kissed her. You kissed her with the cool water pouring down around your bodies. With your skin hot from the burns and from your aching love for Emily. You kissed her desperately, hungrily, like someone clinging to a lifeboat, and Emily was. She was your lifeboat. And for Emily’s part, she was gentle, almost too gentle, as if you might break at any moment.

You wrapped your legs and arms around her and she held you so carefully, so mindful of your burns. You shuddered in the cool water as your hips pushed against her.

Emily moaned into your mouth, her hands faltering for a moment.

“Y/N,” she said breathlessly, pulling away to hold your face in her hands. “We don’t have to do this." She looked at you a moment longer, then added, "I love you.”

You kissed her again. Her mouth. Her forehead. Her collarbone. Emily’s chest heaved into you and your heart beat rapidly.

“Please,” you begged. “Show me.”

Emily pulled you into her, letting her tongue and her lips roam over your neck, letting her hips meet yours as the water surrounded you, soothing your burns the way Emily soothed the roiling, burning despair inside of you.

“I love you,” she whispered as she kissed your eyelids. “I love you,” she whispered as she pressed her hands into the soft flesh of your ass. “I love you,” she whispered as she slipped her fingers inside of you. You bit back a moan and trembled against her, your body pulsing around her.

She fucked you slowly, tenderly, as if it was both your first time and your last, though this was neither. And she kept saying it–“I love you”–again and again, never stopping, so that all the darkness in your mind, all the self-doubt, didn’t have any room to make itself heard.

You let out a strangled groan as your body tensed around her, and when your pleasure flooded you, it was like you were on fire. And this fire was so much better, louder, brighter, than any flame you’d ever held to your body. It was a burning that consumed you, one that would leave you new and glistening afterward instead of scarred and in ashes.

You fell limp against her as she removed her fingers, kissing your forehead, your collarbone, your mouth, swirling her tongue with yours until you felt drunk on her. “I love you,” she said, and you didn’t think you’d ever get tired of hearing it. “I love you.”

You were quiet as she turned off the shower head. Quiet as you both dried off, as Emily gently pressed a towel to your side, making sure your burns were clean and dry. She sat you on the toilet lid as she pulled gauze squares and antibacterial ointment out of the bathroom cabinet, spreading the ointment on the gauze, then pressing it gently to your skin.

“Lift your arms up,” she said quietly, as she circled your body with bandages, wrapping it just tight enough that it wouldn’t shift in the night.

She knelt down in front of you and caressed your face. “Bed?” she asked. You nodded.

“You go ahead,” she said, patting your leg. “I’ll be right there.”

You felt self-doubt start creeping back in as you laid in bed on top of the covers, your burns still too hot to sleep underneath. When Emily came into the room, she carried a glass of water and a bottle of pills.

“Take these,” she told you, handing you a few. You drank and swallowed obediently.

She lay down in the bed and motioned you over. “Come here and let me hold you.”

You rested your face in the crook of her neck, and she played with your hair, careful to avoid your burns.

“I love you,” she whispered after a few minutes, kissing the top of your head.

“You said.” You meant it to be funny, but your heart wasn’t in it. Not yet.

“And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

You were quiet for a minute, then spoke. “I love you, too, Em.” You nuzzled your way closer to her, hoping against hope that her arms around you were enough to keep the darkness and the numbness away for the night.,

And as you drifted off, she kept saying it–“I love you.” And then a kiss on your head.

As your eyelids fluttered closed–“I love you.” And she pressed her face to your forehead.

As your breath slowed and evened, and your body went limp–“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

[ceruleansx]

need | peeta mellark

↳ peeta mellark x reader

↳ warnings - tooth rooting fluff

↳ summary - you were extra cuddly and craving to give kisses to your bf peeta

------------------------------------------------------------

you woke up with your back towards peeta, the sunlight splayed on your face. you opened your eyes slowly, seeing the sun just setting. the shade of orange was peeta's favorite color.

you turned to him because you wanted to tell him to look at the sunrise.

he was facing you, eyes still closed. he looked so pretty in the presence of the sun. it made the blonde hair covering his face more beautiful, something that you thought was impossible.

the beauty that peeta had almost seemed like he wasn't real.

you moved his hair from his forehead, and gave him a loving kiss. his nose scrunched up and he squinted his eyes.

"mmmm." he mumbled.

you shook his arm. "look peeta, the sunrise." you whispered.

he looked away from you and looked at the sky.

"wow..."

"it's beautiful isn't it?" you said softly, admiring the different shades.

"the most beautiful thing i've ever seen." you turned your head at him.

he was looking at you as he said that. you felt your cheeks burn with redness, and you look back to try and hide it.

"i can see why this color is your favorite, it's so pretty."

"you wanna know why it is?" he said, and you layed down to face him.

"why?" you smiled, still a blush on your face.

he looked at you so lovingly, like you were the only person he wanted to kiss and love forever. no one else.

"cause it reminds me of you.." he whispered, as he brushed a strand of your hair behind you ear.

the butterflies erupted in your stomach, and you went to cuddle on top of him. his arms were now around your waist as you nuzzled your face in his neck.

you gave sloppy kisses on his neck as he rubbed your back.

"i love you peeta.." you mumbled into his neck, mid-kiss.

"show me how much you love me." you could practically hear the blush creeping on his face.

you removed your head from his neck and looked at him.

"wellll" you brushed his hair away from his forehead.

"i love your smart ideas and mind."

you gave a tender kiss to his forehead.

"i love how kind and caring you are."

you kissed his nose.

"i love how patient and loving you are, after every situation or fight."

you kissed his cheek.

you finally kissed his soft lips. "and i love that your mine." you whispered against his lips.

he kissed you this time, much longer than expected. he pulled away, trying to hide his smile. his face was as red as a tomato.

"your not shy with the kisses this morning." he blushed.

you didn't make a comment, just stared at his beautiful face. he did too, thinking that he basically hit the jackpot with being with you. he was going to marry you one day, he knew it.

"so you love me..?" he asked.

you rolled your eyes playfully. "no i totally just kissed someone that i don't love."

he chuckled and you smiled. "of course i love you peeta, only you. and no one else."

oh, how you can make peeta blush like a 9 year old. he kissed you once more before talking.

"i love you too y/n, and i'm going to marry you one day."

you were so in love, you didn't have a reaction.

"i would love to marry you peeta mellark."

after that, you layed on top him, just the two of you watching the sunset. you two were just both imagining your future kids, happily married, and loving each other for eternity.

[mrsshabana]

“𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮..."

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟒: 𝐒𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary A relationship between a fairy and a demon is strictly forbidden, so sneaking away in the middle of the night is the only way you get to spend time together. But tonight, you decide to take things further. However, being much larger than you, Gyutaro worries his size may be too much for you to handle. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, fantasy au, fairy reader, vaginal sex, creampie, overstimulation. ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 2.1k words. This is definitely my favorite entry so far! It's unique compared to the other ones I've written, so I hope you enjoy it!

✧:･ﾟ→ Kinktober Masterlist

Once again you find yourself trudging through the forest for another secret meeting with your lover. Unfortunately, this is how things must be. A relationship between a fairy and a demon from the forbidden city is strictly unheard of. 

You had never met a demon before until you saw Gyutaro. Demons have always been described as terrifying creatures, but his appearance still surprised you. His curved horns, pointed tail, and large dragon-like wings. Not to mention how much bigger he was than you, when standing beside him the top of your head only goes up to his waist. 

But his appearance didn’t stop you from helping him when you saw him in need. He had been exploring through the forest on the outskirts of your village in search of a magical berry. This berry was rumored to rid oneself of their ugliness. But, not being used to traversing dense forests, he had quickly found himself stuck in a patch of enchanted vines. 

Luckily you came along when you did, using your magic to free him from the vines. When Gyutaro first laid eyes on you, he was entranced by your beauty. Your sparkling wings and the delicate flowers laced through your hair captivated him. 

After that day, you two were inseparable. And it didn’t take long for Gyutaro to confess his feelings for you, and the two of you became a couple. Neither of you were bothered by dating someone of a different species, if anything, your differences brought you closer. You learned that demons weren’t as terrifying and vicious as everyone had claimed. Gyutaro was a sweetheart and he always went out of his way to protect you and make you feel special. Something about the glimmer of his fangs and the glow around his slit pupils made your heart skip a beat. You loved that he was different from anyone you’d ever met before. 

Trekking through the forest you finally spot a familiar bush with blue leaves and pink flowers. Parting the leaves and stepping through, you see him. Gyutaro sitting under a large glowing mushroom, the landmark of your nighttime rendezvous.

“Gyutaro!” You shout excitedly.

He immediately perks up and looks behind his shoulder. “Y/N! My Love!” He smiles wide and stands up - coming towards you with open arms. 

Using your wings, you fly into his embrace. Gyutaro hugs you tightly, spinning you around in his arms. 

“Mmmmwa!!” You exaggerate as you kiss him on the lips. Causing a blush to quickly spread across his cheeks. 

“C’mon,” he kisses you back and carries you over to the glowing mushroom. He sits down on the lush grass and places you on his lap. “So tell me,” he says as he picks a flower and places it behind your ear, “How was your day?”

“It was good! I helped the elders prepare for the Autumn feast,” you get excited as you remember something, “Oh! They even let me enchant the lily berries to ripen them!”

“Wow, you did that with your magic?” he smiles, “You never cease to amaze me.”

“What about you, my love? How was your day?”

“It was fine,” he sighs, “Spent most the day collecting debts. The only thing that got me through it was thinking about you. I’ve missed you all day…”

“I’ve missed you too,” you caress his cheek and lean forward, touching your lips to his. He puts a clawed hand around your waist and deepens the kiss. It’s obvious just how much he’s been craving you. A soft whimper escapes your lips as he slides his forked tongue into your mouth. Exploring your mouth, and savoring the sweetness of your lips. 

Things are getting heated, and you can feel something harden beneath you. This isn’t an uncommon occurrence, but things usually never go further than this as you’ve both been avoiding the elephant in the room. 

But tonight is different, you don’t want to ignore it anymore.

“Mm, Gyutaro?” you hum as you pull away from the kiss.

His cheeks are red and his pupils are dilated as he looks at you, “Something the matter, darling?”

“I… I want to try being intimate with you,” you say shyly, blushing and looking away.

He’s silent for a moment, clearly taken aback by your statement. “B-but,” he starts, but pauses. Taking a moment to collect his thoughts and build the courage to finally address the one thing he’d been avoiding. “I don’t want to hurt you… I-I’m so much bigger than you… and well, you know…”

“I know,” you mumble, “But I still want to try. I really love you and I feel safe with you. I know you’re a lot bigger than me, but I trust you.”

His lips curl into a shy smile. He can’t help but feel excited, even despite his nervousness. “Ok, we can try. But please tell me if it’s too much, ok? I won’t be upset if we need to stop.”

You nod excitedly, “I promise! I’ll tell you if it’s too much. Besides, there’s always other things we can do if it doesn’t work.”

He nods and starts kissing your neck. “You’re right,” he whispers between kisses, “But I won’t lie. I’ve been wanting to try this with you for a long time.” 

“Ah,” you gasp, “Me too.” 

He gently picks you up and moves you to lay on your back before crawling on top of you. Looking down at you lying beneath him makes him even more nervous. You look so small, like he could easily break you. 

Sensing your boyfriend’s hesitation, you slip off your dress to give him some encouragement. His eyes widen, seeing your lacy panties and your bare chest. He can’t take his eyes off of you, staring intently at your body. You notice his erection twitch under his pants just from the sight of you. 

You break him out of his trance by tugging on the hem of his shirt, “Your turn.” 

“O-oh! Right,” his voice is shaky as he removes his shirt - revealing his scarred but heavily muscled chest. His waist is thin and his hip bones jut out, but he has large muscles on his arms and abs too. His body is quite unique, but you love that about him. 

“So handsome,” you say, running your fingers along the birthmark on his hip. His tail sways side to side in excitement. 

Your kind words give him the courage he needs to continue. He leans forward and kisses your breast. Opening his mouth and playing with your nipple between the fork of his tongue. Gently pulling and pinching. 

“Gyutaro~” You moan. Rubbing your thighs together as you feel your panties getting soaked. “I want you.”

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, “I want you too.”

He sits up and removes his pants. His massive cock springing free. Seeing the sheer size of it almost makes you regret suggesting this. But you can’t say it wasn’t expected, it’s only proportionate to his size so it makes sense. It’s still quite intimidating though. 

He collects the precum that was dripping down his shaft and strokes his length. His hand gliding over the large veins and birthmarks that cover his cock. 

Placing his body back on top of yours and looking down at you, he hooks a clawed finger under your panties and slides them off. Your slick sticking to your thighs as he does so. 

Holding your legs open, Gyutaro stares in awe at your pretty little pussy. So wet and inviting for him, he can’t help but grab the base of his cock and align it with your entrance. But seeing the hefty size difference brings him back to reality and makes him second-guess this. 

“I-I don’t know if this is possible, my love,” his voice is laced with a hint of sadness and disappointment.

Looking down at his long, girthy member, you can’t help but feel really nervous too. But you still want to try so you plead, “Please Gyutaro~ I want you so bad. Let’s at least try.”

He can’t deny you when you say such sweet things to him, “Alright. I’ll go slow, ok?”

You nod, “Ok. I just want to feel you inside me~” 

He bites his lip and pushes his hips forward, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. You spread your legs as wide as you can, and it takes a bit of force for him to finally stretch you enough to breach your entrance. 

“Fuuuuck,” he groans, “S-so tight.” He pants and gasps, already feeling overwhelmed by the way you squeeze him so tightly. 

You take deep breaths and hold onto him in an attempt to distract yourself from the pain of him quite literally splitting you apart. It hurts like hell but you can’t deny the sensation of pleasure intertwined with the pain. 

He places his hands on your thighs, pushing them further apart as he slides further into you. A clear bulge appears in your stomach as more of his cock fills your insides. 

Once he’s finally seated fully inside of you, your body starts quivering from the sensation of being filled past your limit. 

It’s overwhelming for Gyutaro too, but he manages to speak through his panting, “Are you ok, my love?”

“Mm hm,” you nod, “F-feels good. Feel so-so full~”

With your affirmation, he slowly starts thrusting. The tightness of your walls pulling him in, only allow him to slide his cock out ever so slowly before plunging back in again. The bulge in your stomach moves along with his thrusts. 

He gently slides his hands under you, picking you up as he sits up on his knees. Grabbing your waist with both hands and fucking you like you’re his own personal fleshlight. 

Your body begins to shake uncontrollably and you’re left moaning and hollering as he fucks you silly. Your eyes roll back and drool drips from your open mouth as he continues fucking you, quickly bringing you to your climax. The way his cock stretches you apart, constantly putting pressure on your sweet spot, causes you to cum all over him. You’re left screaming his name and squirming as your juices drench his pelvis. 

Not to mention how the tightening of your already impossibly tight cunt brings him to euphoria. He can’t help himself as he picks up the pace and fucks you harder through your orgasm. 

You mumble incoherent words that have some semblance to his name, “Gyu-tah-ah-ah-roooo!”

“F-feel good, darling?” he grunts, “Feel so fuckin’ tight ~ah~ Gonna-gonna fill you up.”

Your wings flutter rapidly as your body becomes overly sensitive, drowned by the pleasure of his massive cock. Your body involuntarily twitching and squirming as your walls tremble - tightening around him once again. 

“That’s it, my love, that’s it,” he moans, keeping a firm grip around your waist as he continues using you like a little toy. His claws dig into your soft flesh and his cock twitches. 

Finally, you climax once again, this time more intense than the last. Squeezing, tightening, and milking him. Your back arches as your entire body spasms. 

Feeling you orgasm around him brings him to his peak as well. His cock convulses inside of you, visibly able to see the bulge in your stomach twitching as he pumps your little hole full of cum. His wings span open and his tail shudders. 

“Ngh! Y-Y/N!! Ah Aahhh!” He moans loudly. 

His hands firmly hold you flush against his hips, making sure he’s as deep within you as possible as he shoots thick ropes of hot cum. Pumping so much into you, that as he slowly pulls out, your belly deflates as it pours out of you. Collecting in a puddle on the grass, a collection of both of your releases. 

Both of you are left panting and at a loss for words, still trying to catch your breath and recover from the intense love making. 

Gyutaro lays on his back and gently moves you to lie on top of him. He wraps his wings around you and whispers, “I love you.”

“I-I love you too,” you whimper, body still shaking. 

He holds you close to him and caresses your body under the light of the glowing mushroom. After all of that, he knows you’re going to need some intense after care. But he doesn’t mind, he gladly stays with you all night. Giving you soft kisses and gentle touches, showing you how much he loves and appreciates his little fairy. 

Gyutaro really is a gentle giant. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 9)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Rafe and Y/n share the exciting news. But trouble is always right around the corner...

Warnings: Language, smut, pregnancy

Word Count: 4.7k+

You couldn't believe you waited this long to get help. You felt so happy. You were taking it easy, spending your time with Rafe and only Rafe. You knew you needed to talk to Topper and Kelce. Thank them and apologize. But for now, you just wanted to be with your love.

Rafe made you breakfast every morning. He made sure you took your meds and he re-bandaged your wrist every day. Every time he saw the stitches holding your skin together he frowned, but he'd swallow his feelings and remind himself that you're still here with him. Alive and happy.

"What color did you pick?" You giggle as he brushes eyeshadow onto your lids. He wanted to do your make up and you let him. Laying in his lap on the bathroom floor as he picked through three drawers of make up, not knowing what a single product is. You explained each item to him and he was fully invested in doing his best work.

"Purple," He replies. "I love purple on you."

You smile, keeping your eyes closed as he works. You relax at the feeling of the brushes moving across your skin.

You peak up at him as he works on gluing green rhinestones to your face. He was fully concentrated on what he was doing and it was the cutest thing you'd ever seen.

"Done!" He finally says. You jump up in excitement and look in the mirror.

"Holy shit, Rafe," You say, examining your face. "This looks amazing!" The emerald green rhinestones complimented the dark purple shimmer perfectly. Your cheeks were the perfect shade of pink, and a dark brown gloss on your lips tied it all together. He even contoured your face perfectly.

Rafe blushes. "You look beautiful," He says, pulling you to him and kissing your temple.

You turn to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and staring up at him. "I've had such a nice time the last few days. Thank you."

He brushes his thumb over your cheek, savoring the cute smile that sat on your face. "I love being with you. I'm so happy you're home with me."

Rafe's phone rings, ruining the moment. He sighs.

You laugh, "Answer it, babe. I gotta put on setting spray so we don't lose this masterpiece." You wave around your face.

He smiles and reaches for his phone.

"Hello?"

You listen to Rafe talk as you spray your face, locking his artwork in place.

"I dunno, dude...I'll ask her." Rafe turns to look at you. "Do you want to go get lunch at the club? It's okay if not."

"Who's asking?

"Court, Kelce, and Top."

You smile. You've been holed up in your house since you got out of the hospital. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Rafe smiles at you. Happy you're ready to go out. "Yeah, we'll be there soon." He says into his phone before hanging up.

"You sure you're ready to go out, baby?" Rafe asks, wrapping his hands around your stomach.

Your breath hitches slightly. You still haven't told him. But the feeling of his hands over the life growing inside you makes you melt.

"Yeah, I need to see them." You say. "I need to apologize."

"No you don't, baby."

"I do, Rafe. I've put you guys through hell and it's not okay. I'm so so grateful to have you guys in my life but you guys don't deserve to witness what I've put you through."

You could see the water in Rafe's eyes as he looked away. He choked back his tears and pressed his lips to yours.

Rafe leads you outside, helping you into his truck. You smile as he drives towards the club. It was a beautiful day and you were with the person you loved most. The feeling of being sober was like a whole new high.

You started to get a little nervous when you saw Courtney, Topper, and Kelce standing outside the club.

Rafe reached for your hand after parking. "You sure you're okay?"

You nod and he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your skin so softly you can barely feel him.

Rafe comes around and helps you out of his truck. He clung to your hand tightly as you approached your friends.

"Y/N!" Courtney squeals, running over to you and wrapping her arms around you.

"Hey, bitch!" You chuckle.

"Have you told him?" She whispers in your ear.

"Not yet," You respond. "Tonight."

Courtney pulls back from you and smiles as she takes you in. You're starting to look like your old self again.

"How are you feeling?" Topper asks as he approaches you, holding his arms out.

"I'm doing good, Top!" You say as you hug him tightly.

Kelce comes to you next, wrapping you in a hug. "You look amazing." He says.

"That's cuz of Rafe. He did my glam today," You chuckle as you motion to your make up.

"Shit, Rafe! You have skills!" Courtney says.

Rafe blushes and pulls you to his side.

You all head inside and make your way out to the deck. Rafe pulls your chair out for you and you sit right between him and Courtney.

JJ comes up to take your order but you couldn't be bothered, you were feeling too happy being with your friends again.

Kelce and Topper order Mai Tai's. You Rafe and Courtney order water.

"Completely clean now?" Kelce asks you.

"Taking a break from the alcohol and drugs. Focusing on what's important." You say, glancing at Rafe. He smiled back at you, fiddling with his ear.

Courtney tries to hide a smirk, her being the only one that knows your little secret.

JJ brings your drinks back and you all order food. Topper and Kelce giving him attitude as usual.

When he walks off you take your opportunity. "So listen," You begin. "I just wanted to first of all thank you guys for being there for me during a really hard time. You guys have saved my life on multiple occasions and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that."

"We're always here for you." Topper says. You can feel Rafe's fingers trail over your skin as he listens to you.

"I also want to say sorry. I'm so sorry I've put you guys through this trauma."

"Y/N-" Kelce begins.

You raise a hand to him and cut him off. "You guys shouldn't have had to see all that. I'm so grateful for all of you and I'm so sorry. I'm going to do better." You promise.

Rafe tightens his grip on you. Courtney looks semi-sad but grateful for your apology. Topper and Kelce smile at you.

"We're here for you no matter what," Topper says. "We're just really glad you're okay."

You smile at them, thankful to have them in your life.

JJ brings your food out and the rest of lunch consists of you all eating and joking around. You were laughing harder than you have in months. You fully enjoyed experiencing you friendships sober.

You hold Rafe and Courtney's hands as you walk out of the club.

"You guys wanna go to a party tonight?" Kelce asks when you're all outside.

You cling tightly to Rafe, hoping he knows how to respond.

"No, I think we're gonna stay in tonight," He says, rubbing your back.

"You guys have stayed in all week," Topper groans.

"Next time, Top." You promise. "Rafe and I have business to attend to."

Kelce makes gagging sounds, earning a laugh from Courtney. Topper just rolls his eyes.

You turn to Courtney and hug her tightly. "Let me know how it goes," She whispers to you.

You nod with a smile before giving Topper and Kelce their hugs. You wave goodbye as you and Rafe walk back to his truck.

Once you're both inside, Rafe looks over at you with a goofy grin.

"What?" You giggle.

"I just love you so much."

"I love you right back!" You smile, giving him a kiss. "Take me home. I wasn't joking about that business." You wiggle your eyebrows at him.

Rafe bites his lip and smiles. Fully ready to spend the rest of the day inside of you.

"Wanna take a bath?" You ask as you both climb out of the truck.

"Absolutely I do," He says with a shit-eating grin. You can't help but smile back at him.

Rafe follows you up the stairs, unable to keep his hands off you. You head to the bathroom and turn on the water in your giant tub. You add lavender bubbles and some bath salts. God knows you can't take a bath without them.

"Can you make some tea, baby?" You ask Rafe.

"Of course, my love." He replies, giving you a quick kiss and running downstairs.

You walk over to your bathroom speakers, hooking your phone up to bluetooth. You throw on Lund before stripping out of your clothes.

You step into the bathtub and let the water run over your skin as you lay back. You took a few deep breaths, knowing you had to tell Rafe about the baby. You were terrified.

"Here you go, my love." Rafe says as he sets a mug of tea down beside you.

"Thanks, baby,"

Rafe rids himself of his clothes and steps into the bath with you, sitting across from you. You grab his hand under the water and smile at him.

"So pretty," He gushes over you.

"You're pretty," You say, causing him to blush. Your favorite sight.

He pulls you too him and you swim over happily, straddling his lap. His hands move to your ass, rubbing over your skin hungrily. "How can I make you feel good, pretty girl?" He asks, placing kisses on your collar bone.

"You can do whatever you want to me in a minute, baby. First I have to talk to you about something."

Rafe leans back. Worry taking over his features. "What do you want to talk about, angel?"

You sigh and bite your lip. "Rafe...do you...do you ever want like-like a family?" You ask him.

"Only with you." He says without hesitation.

You take his hand and guide it to your stomach. Pressing it against your skin as you hold your hand over his.

He looks up at you with a puzzled expression.

"I'm pregnant, baby." You tell him softly unsure of how he'll react. "They told me in the hospital. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was just so scared."

Rafe gripped your belly tighter. "You're pregnant?"

"Mhmm," You nod, biting your lip nervously.

"Like...like you're pregnant? Like...we are having a baby?" He asks.

"Uhm, yeah...if you want to." You tell him.

He snakes his hand around the back of your neck and pulls your lips to his, kissing you with more passion than he ever has before.

When you finally pull away to take a breath tears were falling from his eyes.

"We're having a baby!" He says excitedly, rubbing his hand over your stomach. "I can't believe it!"

You smiled, relaxing at the fact that he was so excited about it.

"My angel, you get more perfect every day. And now you're giving me a baby. I love you so fucking much." He says, beaming up at you.

You couldn't help but cry at his reaction. You had no words. You were ecstatic that he was excited about your baby.

You could feel him hard underneath you and you quickly bucked your hips up, grabbing his cock and lining it up at your entrance before sinking down onto him.

"Fuuuuck," He moans as he clings to your hips, resting his head against your chest as he helps you move up and down on his cock.

"You're going to be such a good dad," You tell him as he slides in and out of you.

"Say that again," He groans.

You lean down and whisper in his ear. "Such a good daddy, Rafe Cameron."

"I'll do anything for you and our baby, mama." He says, thrusting into you deeper.

"Fuck me from behind," You demand.

Rafe pulls you off of him and stands up, bringing you with him. He bends you over the side of the bathtub and thrusts into you again, holding you tightly to make sure you don't fall.

"Oh, fuck!" You cry out, loving the new angle of his cock thrusting in to you. He brings his hand around and rubs circles on your clit and you can feel yourself growing close.

"Pretty girl, anything you want, I'll give it to you. So amazing. Carrying our baby." He praises as he thrusts into you roughly. "You're everything I've ever dreamed of."

You reach your high, vibrating around his cock. "Fuck, Rafe!" You whine. He thrusts a few more times, exploding inside you.

"You're so fucking addicting," he pants as as he rests on your back.

"You make me feel so fucking good, Rafe." You mutter as you try to catch your breath.

"Come here, sweet angel." He says as he steps out of the tub and helps you out. "You need to rest."

Rafe helps you dry off and carries you to your bed. He lays beside you, running one hand through your hair while the other cups your stomach. You didn't have a baby bump yet but you both felt the little life growing inside you.

"I can't wait to meet our baby," Rafe whispers, nuzzling into your skin.

"I keep dreaming about him. He's gonna be a boy."

Rafe smiles up at you. "Any name ideas?"

You ponder for a moment and smile. "Do you know the meaning of your name, Rafe?"

"I do not," He admits.

"It means Wise Wolf. Or Counsel of the Wolf."

Rafe contemplates for a moment. "That's actually pretty cool."

You turn to face him. "So if it is a boy, like I think it is, let's name him Wolf."

Rafe smiles at you. "After me?"

"Of course. He'll be so strong and amazing just like his father." You praise.

Rafe blushes and bites his lip. "I like Wolf."

You smile at him as he runs his fingers through your hair. "We're gonna be parents,"

"Thank you," Rafe starts. "Thank you so much for choosing me."

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"You chose me. To be your boyfriend. To take your virginity. And now you're choosing to have a family with me. I won't let you down. I won't let Wolf down."

You smile. "You're the best decision I've ever made."

-

You fiddle with dress, unhappy with the way it sat on your body. You had just gotten back from your doctors appointment. Two and a half months pregnant. How the hell had you been pregnant this long and not noticed?

The doctor told you everything was fine. That you were healthy and so was your child. But you couldn't help but cry at the fact that you put so many toxins into your body while your baby was growing inside you. You didn't know, but you would never forgive yourself for it.

"You look absolutely amazing." Rafe said as he entered your bathroom, snaking his arms around your torso and brushing his thumb over your belly. "Mama," He adds, placing a kiss on your cheek.

"I'm nervous, Rafe." You admit.

"I am too. But we have to tell them. We can't hide it forever."

Only Rafe and Courtney knew you were pregnant. Rafe didn't love the fact that Courtney found out before him, however, he understood. But today, today was the day you'd be telling his family.

You wore a white sun dress, white strappy wedges to match. Despite your heels, Rafe still towered over you.

"You ready, angel? We gotta get there before guests start arriving."

The Cameron's were having a barbecue. All the Kooks on the island were invited of course. You and Rafe decided this would be the best time to tell them because if they ended up being pissed, the guests arriving would have them distracted enough for the two of you to sneak off.

Your stomach was doing flips as you pulled into Tannyhill. You had no idea how Ward and Rose would react to this news. You glanced over at Rafe, noticing he was equally nervous.

"We're really doing this," You state, taking a deep breath.

"Yep," Rafe responds. "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Me too," You say.

Just then, Wheezie walks out front and spots you guys sitting in the truck. She throws her arms up as if to ask you guys why you're just sitting there. She motions for you to come inside.

"Guess that's our cue." You say with a shaky breath.

Rafe swallows before hopping out of the truck and coming over to help you out. He wraps his hand around your waist as you walk slowly towards the entrance.

"Why are you guys being so weird?" Wheezie asks.

"We're not, Wheeze." Rafe says, clinging to you tightly.

You all enter the house. You swear you were going to vomit in the foyer. When you enter the kitchen, Rose and Ward greet you excitedly. Sarah and John B sit at the island and scoff.

You ignore them. Clinging to Rafe as your nerves rise.

Ward and Rose both notice the RC that sat healed on your chest as well as the bandage that remained on your wrist. They swallowed their thoughts and forced a smile. They knew everything that had recently happened, Rafe coming home crying about it. It took hours for Rose and Ward to calm him down. But that was not to be discussed today.

"Are you two ready for tonight? We always love doing an end of summer barbecue." Rose says.

"We are. We actually wanted to talk to you guys first." Rafe says, swallowing his fear.

Wheezie looks up, focusing on you and Rafe now as she tucks her phone in her back pocket. Sarah and John B turn their attention to you as well.

"About what, son?" Ward asks, slight concern coating his features.

You were praying the earth would open and swallow you up. Anxiety taking over your body as you let Rafe take control of the situation.

"Uhm, Y/N and I..." Rafe begins. "We, uhm..."

All eyes were on you and you just wanted it out in the open.

"I'm pregnant," You blurt out before you could stop yourself.

"Uhm, yeah. That..." Rafe says, awkwardly placing his hand on your stomach.

Everyone's eyes were wide, completely surprised by this information.

Ward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was angry. The fact that his son impregnated Elliot Y/L/N's daughter. He could kiss that business deal goodbye.

John B and Sarah just stared at the two of you, wondering how the fuck you two psychos were going to be parents.

"Congratulations!" Wheezie broke out, running to give you a hug.

"Thanks, Wheeze!" You tell her. "We're really, really excited."

Your words seem to pull Ward from his disapproving demeanor. "Does your father know?" He asks you.

"Not yet. I'm going to write him."

Ward sighs again. "Rafe you-"

"Are going to be an amazing father." You cut Ward off, holding on tightly to Rafe and staring daggers at his father.

Ward cowered under your gaze. He had no idea what to think. He knew he needed to protect you and keep you safe while Elliot was away. But he was scared shitless of how Elliot would react to the news of his son getting you pregnant. He would find any reason to be disappointed in Rafe and you were going to put an end to that.

You stood up proudly, placing your hand over Rafe's on your stomach. From the second you found out you were pregnant, you were happy. Rafe is the only person you could picture having a life with and you felt honored to be carrying his child inside your body.

"Congratulations," Rose finally said, rounding the island pulling you both into a hug. "I can't wait to meet the little one." She gushes.

Ward shakes off any negative thoughts. He pulls you in for a hug and you accept hesitantly. "Congratulations, son." He says, pulling Rafe into a hug.

You smile, seeing how happy Rafe is at his dad's gesture.

"You guys seriously support this?" Sarah scoffs. "These two...psychopaths having a kid?"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Sarah." Rafe hisses.

"I'm sorry I just think it's a little weird that two people who cut each other up and drink each others blood should be allowed to have kids."

You step forward but Rafe quickly pulls you back. "You're lucky I'm pregnant." You spit. You were going to have to get used to this. Not fighting.

"Sarah, stop!" Ward scolds her. "Either be happy for your brother or don't say anything at all."

Sarah scoffs. "Congratulations, fucking vampires." She says before pulling John B out of the room.

You swallow your anger and lean into Rafe. He holds you tightly, bringing a hand up to play with your hair.

"I apologize for her." Ward says. His face was still riddled with concern. But he was going to keep his mouth shut since you seemed to be so happy. It wasn't like you and Rafe couldn't afford a child. But Sarah was also right, you were crazy. But crazy in love and loyal to your pack. You'd protect Rafe and your baby at all costs.

People begin to knock on the door and Rose is quick to answer, inviting people inside and leading them out back.

Rafe sits you down at the kitchen table. "Let me get you some water, mama." He says.

You smile as he hands you a glass of water. "Should we tell Kelce and Top tonight?" You ask.

"If you're ready, baby girl." He responds, brushing your hair behind your ear.

You smile and nod. "I am. I'm so happy."

Rafe smiles, your words making him melt. All he wants to do is make you happy. He's never felt good enough, especially in his fathers eyes. He swore to himself he'd never make his child feel that way.

"Let's go get you something to eat, pretty girl." He says, helping you up and guiding you to the back yard.

He fixes you a plate of food before guiding you to one of the tables by the pool. "Here, baby, eat," He says, offering you some cheese and crackers.

"I'm not that hungry, babe." You tell him.

"Gotta eat, baby." He insists. "For you and Wolfy."

You smile at the nickname, accepting the food he's holding for you.

"You guys seriously make me gag," Topper says as him, Kelce, and Courtney approach where you're sitting, making themselves comfortable in the rest of the chairs at the table.

"Good to see you too," You chuckle.

"You okay?" Kelce asks, noticing your hand on your stomach.

"Yeah! I'm great! We actually uh...we have some news." You say with a smile.

Topper and Kelce look confused, glancing back and forth between you and Rafe. Courtney tried to hide her knowing smile.

You look at Rafe, urging him to be the one to tell them since you so lovingly did so for his parents.

"We're having a baby," Rafe says, smile wide on his face.

Topper chokes on his drink. You giggle as he attempts to catch his breath.

"You? You two are having a baby?" Kelce asks, jaw dropped as Courtney attempts to help Topper regain his breath.

"Mhmm," You nod. "I'm two and a half months. I had no idea..." You say, a tinge of sadness in your voice.

Rafe places a comforting hand on your leg. "We saw the doctor today and everything is going great!" He smiles down at you, reminding you that your baby is perfectly healthy.

"Holy shit, that's amazing!" Kelce says, lunging towards you and wrapping you in a hug before he does the same with Rafe.

"Congratulations!" Topper finally coughed out.

Courtney came around and hugged you from behind. "I'm so happy for you, Sunflower!" She squealed, kissing your cheek. "And you too, Rafey!" She says, wrapping her arms around his chest and kissing his cheek as well.

You and Rafe were nothing but smiles. Happy that everyone was being so supportive. Atleast, almost everyone.

You could feel Sarah and John B's eyes on you. They were whispering to eachother on the other side of the yard.

Rafe noticed you frown and looked over to see what you were staring at. His jaw tightened, absolutely sick of Sarah's shit. "Wait here," He said, placing a quick kiss on your head.

He stood up and made his way over to Sarah and John B. "What's your problem, Sarah?" He hissed.

John B stepped in front of her protectively.

"Why don't you ever just mind your own business?" Rafe continued.

"It's not my fault you and your psycho girlfriend got pregnant. You're 19, Rafe!"

"Yeah, and you're 16 running around with Pogues and robbing drug dealers!"

Sarah scrunched up her face at him.

"Just stay out of my business and keep your mouth shut around Y/N. Or I'll tell dad all about your little adventures."

"Like he'd believe you? You're the one that was buying coke from Barry!"

Rafe sucked on his bottom lip. Irritation present in his expression. "I'm clean now. Mind your business, Sarah." He said before walking off back towards you and his friends.

-

You brushed your hair, pinning at back slightly as you stared at the mirror in Rafe's bathroom. You could hear him and Wheezie talking in the hall. Rafe sounded upset.

"I know like a thousand times more about the business than she does!"

"I don't know, Rafe! Rose just wanted me to tell you."

"Hm," You hear Rafe grumble before he walks back into his room.

"Everything okay, baby?" You ask him. He was sitting on his bed, head in his hands, obviously pissed off. "Hey, look at me." You say, bringing his chin up to meet your gaze.

Rafe leans into you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You cradle his head and play with his hair as you hug him silently.

"I gotta take care of some stuff," He mumbles.

"Do you want me to come?"

He shakes his head. "No. You stay here. Rest. I just gotta talk to my dad."

"Isn't he going to the Bahamas with Sarah? What's going on, Rafe?"

"Baby, please. Please just stay here. Watch a movie or something." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He grabs his credit card and hands it you. "Order some food. I'll be back soon, I promise."

You look at him hesitantly but you nod in agreement. Ward was always a touchy subject with Rafe and you didn't want to push it.

He presses a kiss to your lips and then one to your stomach before hurrying out of his room.

You tried to rest, nap, watch tv, nothing was helping you relax. You were so confused by Rafe's behavior earlier. You hadn't heard from him in a couple hours and you were starting to worry.

When will you be home? I miss you. Please be safe.

You pressed send and sighed. You walk downstairs and head towards the front door, ready to get some fresh air.

"Hey Rose," You greet.

"Hey! How are you feeling?" She asks as she sprays the hose over her flowers she works so hard on.

"I'm okay. I haven't had like morning sickness or anything. I hope the baby is this easy when he gets here."

Rose laughs. Rafe was a wild child so I imagine you two will have your hands full.

You smile halfheartedly. "He was acting so weird earlier."

"I haven't seen him today. Maybe he's just a little overwhelmed? I imagine you both are."

"Yeah I guess so. It still doesn't really feel real."

"It will. Once you start showing." She says with a smile.

Before you could say anything else, Rafe's truck was pulling into the driveway.

He got out, panic evident in his eyes.

"Rafe?" You ask as you stand up.

You see Sarah climb out of the passenger side and make her way around. She looked like absolute hell and you noticed blood on her shirt and hands.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you on the plane?" Rose asked her.

"Ask Rafe." She scoffs before storming off into the house.

Rafe looks like he's on the verge of tears. "I-I need to talk to you." He says, his voice cracking.

"What is it?"

"Not here." Rafe grabs you wrist and drags you into the house. Not angrily but forceful enough to concern you.

"Rafe what's going on?!" You ask as you finally enter his room, shutting the door behind him.

He begins pacing back and forth, hyperventilating as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Fuck, fuck..." He muttered to himself.

"Baby, calm down!" You yell, wrapping your arms around him.

Rafe falls to the floor, pulling you down with him as he sobs into your neck. You'd seen him have panic attacks before but never like this. He grips you so tightly, as if he let go you'd simply evaporate.

"Sweet boy," You begin, feeling yourself begin to cry as you run your hand over his back.

"I-I did something really b-bad." He lets out between sobs.

"What did you do, baby? Whatever it is we can fix it. I'm sure."

Rafe shook his head. "I-I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me baby, I'm right here. I'd never leave you!" You try to reassure him. "Just tell me what happened so we can figure it out, together. Always together."

Rafe sat up and looked at you, chest heaving, tears running down his face as he tried to control his breathing.

"I shot Peterkin."

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged! :)

@outerbankspov @torturedtypewritersdept

[seriouslysnape]

hello! can i get a severus lazy sunday morning with the reader? 🖤

Severus Snape x Fem! Reader Tags: None. Word Count: 1.1k "You can stay right here. I'll call you when it's ready."

It was the pattering of rain on the roof that initially woke Severus up. It drummed on the house and sprinkled across the windows. The trees outside rustled from the wind that whistled outside. He let out a slow exhale at the sound of the low rumbles of thunder rolling off in the distance.

Three days of solid rain was more than enough, and frankly, he was missing the sunshine. Nonetheless, there wasn't a thing he could do about the weather, so he supposed that griping about it wouldn't do him any good.

After all, it was hard to complain when there was a beautiful woman curled up next to him.

Severus was a bit of a stirrer in the mornings. He wasn't typically one to lounge around in bed, typically getting up and on his feet the moment that his eyes opened. But you, on the other hand, liked to gradually wake up instead of getting a fast start to your day. If there wasn't an immediate reason to get up, then you were more than likely going to stay snuggled in for a little while.

With that being said, he tried to keep his movements to a minimum to avoid waking you. He could bear staying wrapped up in the sheets if it meant you getting some extra rest. He was perfectly content with holding you close and watching the weather rage on outside through the window.

Unfortunately, he couldn't control the volume and intensity of the thunder that accompanied the rain. One booming crack of thunder spooked you awake with a hard flinch and a light gasp. The sudden reaction even made Severus jump a bit, his arms holding you tighter as a gesture of protection.

"It's all right," He nuzzled his nose into your hair, pressing a kiss just above the tip of your ear. "You're safe. It's just a storm."

His morning voice always sent a chill down your back. It was deeper than usual, groggy and sluggish. You relaxed at the sound of it, releasing a relieved sigh when you realized that your house wasn't being attacked by some outside force.

"Mm. Still raining I assume?" Your eyes fluttered closed again in an attempt to slow the hard thumping of your heart.

"Unfortunately." He grumbled, his focus on you instead of the storm.

"It's not all bad. I've had you all to myself for three days straight." You giggled, the sound of your laugh spreading a warmth over his chest.

"Darling, has there ever been a time where you didn't?" He answered.

He pushed some fallen strands of hair out of your eyes, a small smile appearing on his features as he admired your calm expression.

"Generally, no. But sometimes the duties of being a professor steals you away."

He couldn't deny that. Just being a professor could be overly demanding -- adding in being the head of Slytherin and some occasional administrative responsibilities could most definitely dry up the well of his free time.

Before he met you, he spent pretty much every night at the school in his personal chambers. He didn't see the need in traveling home every night (as easy and convenient as it might've been) if he had no real reason to. He spent all of his time at Hogwarts from September to June.

But after meeting you and having the pleasure and blessing of your lives intertwining, he had to learn how to balance his work life and personal life. Now, he traveled home almost every single night, unless he just couldn't get away from his office and/or classroom.

He did everything that he could to ensure that you were his top priority...although, sometimes he still fell short.

"We still have well over a month before the term starts," He remarked. "Plenty of time before my schedule gets overly full."

"What's on your schedule until then?" You asked, eyes opening just enough to peer up at him.

He let out a low chuckle when he kissed your temple, the vibrations running down your side and causing a brief tingle in your toes. He exhaled a satisfied hum when one of your legs settled between his.

"You."

Another roll of thunder rumbled, yet not quite as vigorous this time. You smiled at him, which caused a tint of a blush to appear on his cheek.

"Doesn't sound too busy then." You ran your index finger's knuckle across the apple of his cheek with a feather-like touch.

"Just the way I like it." He smirked.

A round of silence followed. The two of you were just enjoying each other's presence and taking advantage of the fact that you had absolutely nothing to do...not to mention having a great excuse not to come up with something to occupy your time.

The rain was relentless after all. Who in their right mind would want to go out in this kind of weather? It was a perfect setup for a day inside.

There were plenty of things to do around the house. The only problem was that you had already been doing them for three days now.

You could only take a crack at raiding and reading your entire library for so long. The house was spotless and lemony fresh, so cleaning was crossed off your list. You were looking forward to trying a new recipe for dinner, but you assumed that you still had an entire day to get through first.

"What time is it?" You asked, realizing that it could've been noon for all you knew.

Severus raised his head just enough to peek over you to get a glimpse of the alarm clock on the bedside table on your side.

"6:47." He answered.

"Oh, that is so early," You gawked. "I'm too awake to go back to sleep though."

"Shall I make us some breakfast then?" He suggested. "You can stay right here. I'll call you when it's ready."

"Pancakes? Coffee?" You asked, a glittering admiration for the man talking sweet to you shining over your face.

"Of course," He nodded. "Whatever you want, angel."

He peppered kisses across your nose and down your neck, bubbly giggles and squeaks sounding out from your chest. You managed to squeal out an "I love you" through laughter and shrills.

He couldn't understand how someone like you could love him so much. He liked to think that he had done something in his life to deserve some like you. But in reality, he knew that he was just plain lucky.

"I love you," He returned the endearment before whipping the covers off of the bed, ignoring your hiss of disapproval. "Pancakes are on the way."

Once he was on his feet, he pulled the covers back over you, chuckling at the way you shimmied further down with a gleeful whimper. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before leaving to whip up the best stack of pancakes you had ever tasted.

"Enjoy the rain, my love."

[hoshiputa]

Cyber

💌 woozi x female reader

📩 Request: Phone sex with Woozi.

cw: nsfw, smut, established relationship, pet names (babygirl, princess, etc), masturbation, exhibitionism

word count: 1.2k

It was past midnight when your phone started ringing. You grabbed as fast as you could, because you already knew who it was.

Lee Jihoon. Your beloved, hard working, super famous boyfriend.

He usually called at that time when he was at the studio, because that was when he had a break. The only difference today was that it was a video call instead of the usual late night voice calls.

“Hi, babe!”

“Hello.”

Jihoon immediately smiled at you through the screen, the well known blue lightning of his studio making him look as beautiful as ever. His phone was set at the perfect angle, showing off his muscled arms.

“What's with the video call?” You asked. “Not that I'm complaining.”

It was always good to see him, of course. Especially when he had been away for days like this, working day and night to produce another masterpiece for his group, unable to come back home for you.

“I wanted to see your face,” he said softly.

“Aww, I miss you!”

You rolled around in your bed, kicking your feet in the air like the main character of a teenage movie talking to their crush for the first time.

“What are you doing? Did you eat?” Jihoon asked.

“I was just watching some Netflix. And yes, I had dinner. What about you?”

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“I ate instant noodles,” he confessed.

“Lee Jihoon! What did I tell you?!”

“It was just this time. Please forgive me.”

Staring at your boyfriend through your phone screen, you felt your heart ache. You hadn't seen each other in a week and it was starting to make you feel sad.

“And how was your day?” You asked him.

“It was nice… I just stayed here for the most part of it.”

Jihoon giggled, like being trapped in a music studio for the whole week wasn't a complete nightmare like most people thought

“You're the only person I know who doesn't complain about work.”

“What can I say? I like what I do.”

Jihoon leaned against his chair, pushing it back a little just so the screen could show up from his thighs to his face. It was unusual, because normally his video calls were filled with awkward close ups of his face.

“Sir, are you trying to seduce me?!”

Jihoon giggled, the kind of laugh he let out every time he did have something up his sleeve.

“Actually, I have something to show you.”

“What is it?”

Not even intense therapy through the twenty years of your life would've prepared you to watch your boyfriend pull out his cock on camera. Your jaw dropped at the sight, his length standing up hard and nice as he smirked at you through the screen.

“What— Jihoon! What?”

You had no words, so you just kept staring at the screen. Mouth watering, body heat going up, thighs clenching as you sat up on your bed.

“I've been missing you,” he said, hands wrapping around his length. “This much.”

“Oh, God.”

You rolled around on your bed, screaming into your pillow as you held tight against your phone.

“I was jerking off to one of your pictures, and then I thought… We could make it better.”

There was this thing. With Jihoon's busy schedules and all of the time you two had to spend away from each other, both of you agreed to share and save each other's nudes.

“I can't stop staring at your dick.”

You chuckled awkwardly, being washed over by the memories of Jihoon on top of you, his cock stretching you out and hitting just right. It wasn't fair you had to be away from him.

“So… Can you take your clothes off for me?”

You weren't the exhibitionist type. To be honest, you weren't any type before Jihoon — just some boring random girl. Then he came into your life and showed you his ways, and now you were addicted. So you didn't think twice before ripping your clothes off so fast it made Jihoon giggle.

Laying on bed, you lifted up your phone, showing off your naked body for him.

“Fuck, you're so hot,” Jihoon said, hand slightly stroking his dick.

It wasn't just missing him. And it wasn't just desire and lust. You actually yearned for him. Not only his body, but hearing those nice words coming straight out of his mouth and being whispered to your ears, his soft hands touching all over your body, wrapping around your neck.

“I miss you so much,” you whined.

“I miss you too, babygirl,” he sighed. “I wish I could be there to spread you out and fuck you senseless.”

“Shit, don't say that.”

“Why? Am I making you wet?”

For someone who wasn't into exhibitionism, you for sure felt the urge to touch yourself to make Jihoon know how much you missed him. And it was sinful, to say the least. To wrap your fingers around your hardened nipples and watch Jihoon touch his hardened dick, biting his lip as you showed off like you were his favorite movie star.

“Fuck, you know how much I love those tits, right?” He asked, voice hoarse.

Of course you knew it. You knew it because every time Jihoon got you naked, he sucked on your nipples like his life depended on it. And oh, how you missed his mouth on your skin.

“What about spreading your legs for me? Will you show me your cunt?”

Hearing Jihoon asking so nicely and calmly for something so dirty made you gasp softly, reminiscing all of the times it was his hands spreading your legs open for him to dive into your wet pussy and suck on your juices like it was his favorite drink. When you opened your legs and leaned against your bed frame, Jihoon let out a soft moan as he pressed his thumb against the tip of his cock.

“That's right, you're such a good girl,” he smirked through the screen.

You watched as Jihoon started stroking his cock a little faster, biting his lip as he watched your naked body. It felt good to know he needed you that much, so much only a picture wasn't enough. Your head ran over all of the times you had his fingers inside you, playing with your cunt just to tease you. All of the times he fucked deep into you as you begged for more.

“Are you touching yourself, babe? Let me see it,” he said, now slowly stroking his cock.

You hadn't noticed your free hand slipped in between your legs, because you were lost in thoughts about having Jihoon's muscled arms around you.

“I— Can't help it,” you said, slightly embarrassed.

“It's okay,” he smiled at you. “I'd love to watch you fuck yourself.”

You bit your lip at his words, fingers pressing against your clit as you moved them in circles. You thought about Jihoon and how he was perfect with his hands, his soft fingers plunging into your cunt.

“That's perfect, babe. We can do it together.”

Your head was spinning when you buried two of your fingers inside your wet cunt, the phone in your other hand showing Jihoon's eagerness as he stroked his cock faster.

“You want this cock?”

“Yes.”

You whined, gasping as your fingers fucked into your cunt. The only problem was they weren't as thick and good as Jihoon.

“I want your pussy too, babe,” he said. “You always take my cock so well.”

Jihoon gasped, biceps flexing as he moved his hand faster and faster around his leaking length.

“Yeah, I love your cock,” you moaned, fingers brushing against your own walls.

“Oh, my love, you look so good when you're desperate for my cock.”

Jihoon leaned back against his chair, hand working even faster and harder around his thick cock.

“I wish I could be coming all over you now,” he said.

Your toes curled and your legs clenched, the way Jihoon always painted you with his warm cum imprinted into your brain.

“I'd treat you just right, my princess,” he let out a gasp. “Let you ride my cock just how you like it.”

“Fuck, Jihoon!” You whined, back arching against your bed.

“Are you going to come? From watching me jerking off to you?”

“Yes!” You moaned.

It didn't take long. The mix of Jihoon's words, the sight of his beautiful cock and your fingers stretching you out, your orgasm hit so hard you rolled your eyes and let your phone fall from your hand. From the noises you heard from Jihoon, you were sure he had finally come too. Laying on your side, you grabbed the phone to watch a messed up Jihoon staring back at you. There were strands of his hair falling on his face and his breathing was just as hard as yours.

“That was so fucking hot,” he said in between sighs.

“Oh my God, I love you,” you confessed.

“I love you too, babe.”

[becauseimanicequeen]

Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!