#that the gov does very little good with

[justbreakonme]

I love living in the United States. I definitely don’t feel trapped or helpless in the face of what could be very minor circumstances!

[non4ry]

just two partners relaxing after a mission <3

[depresseddepot]

uh oh!!!! starting to feel unqualified for the opportunities I have been given!!!!

[overdramaticemotions]

Why is it that when it comes to my actual writing class I can only write enough to barely hit all the requirements, but the moment it's a class where that actually doesn't matter I'm suddenly writing way more than even necessary.

[pastelaeqy]

very generic swap AU for ava. Lots of yap below the cut where I talk about important changes and my thoughts about the differences between victim and Mitsi here.

couple important differences between her and victim

The big one is that she doesn't actually pursue revenge until she realises the guy who tortured her malewife would give her access to the guy who killed her malewife; before this, she basically has a big personality change, becomes a bit bitter, cold, managing with an iron fist etc and changes Rocket Corp's focus from general tech to arms/defence using blueprints victim had made.

unlike victim, who loses like 90% of his workforce and tanks the share prices, Mitsi instead sells to the gov because they are now obviously wanting some protection against terrorists. Whereas victim is too caught up in his own trauma to think of any other future for the company, Mitsi capitalises off the fear The Disappearance caused and quickly becomes the wealthiest figure in the entire Outernet. I think she’d be an absolutely terrifying boss using her old personality as more of a Customer Service mask. This would definitely be obvious though and I think it would make her more terrifying if anything 

As to how victim dies in the disappearance, my best guess is once people start disappearing from the party, he realises it’s to do with Newgrounds very quickly and he rushes over there with the rocket he fixed probably not long after he landed. He gets there, finds her, and saves her in a final moment of self sacrifice. I think this is a good setup because it puts Mitsi (and Agent) in the exact position Agent is in canon whilst also allowing Mitsi to see who the culprit was. I think it’s a good (temporary…) ending for victim as well, since he dies on his own terms rather than that of his creator’s

It's not until The Showdown that she realises she has a proper shot at getting revenge AND getting victim back; I'm certain victim has at least told her a little about how he was made, and she realises that she could totally get that revenge she's been craving for years whilst also convincing victim's creator to "make him again". Another big difference between victim and Mitsi here is that whilst victim quite obviously stews in his rage and grief for an extensive period of time (and quite frankly never actually has any real proof TCO and Alan are working together and simply just assumes that until he gets that showdown clip), Mitsi doesn’t let it show until she knows it’s actionable i.e. she has solid proof that going after TCO would give her access to Alan. 

Something else to add on here is that where victim is more or less using Mitsi’s death as an excuse for revenge, Mitsi is using her love for victim as a motivator. Because Mitsi simply doesn’t have the sort of background victim does (the disappearance is like THE traumatic event of her life rather than one of several), victim takes the emotional centre of her eventual desire for revenge. In canon, it’s pretty clear victim is more obsessed with getting revenge on Alan than getting revenge on TCO (still absolutely brutal towards TCO though, don’t get me wrong); his hatred for Alan/TCO outshines his love for Mitsi.

Big flaw here is that she doesn't really grasp how bad Alan was to victim; she’s so deadset on getting him back that she won’t stop and think “how might this actually be a bad thing”. I wouldn’t imagine he would be normal after being revived again and I think this would work as a good climactic point of conflict for like act 3. Where in canon there’s a good chance Mitsi will be revived no immediate consequences (thanks orange), victim would be redrawn the same way he had been all those years ago (and hence would not actually look like the victim Mitsi knew in the first place). A nice touch of “revived but came back wrong” to get Mitsi to hop off the revenge train. Another big aspect here is that victim would be like “what have you done to our company” much in the same way id assume Mitsi would in canon.

Overall I think the events we see in canon (other than the ones I have described) would play out about the same. I think it would be clearer that Rocket Corp. has a way bigger presence in the Outernet rather than being some weird creepy company that people vaguely remember as having a change in management some time after the disappearance. Mitsi would be probably more precise (and markedly less brutal) in capturing and extracting information from TCO because Mitsi doesn’t have the inferiority complex victim does. I think he’d still take a couple hits though, but Mitsi has no need to exemplify her control over TCO like victim does; she just needs to weaken him enough to make him talk.

That’s all i’ve really thought about so far. She’s spinning around in my mind like she’s in a microwave.

[emil1863]

More for the au!

The basics, Gods, Demigods, Devil Fruits, all exist.

World Gov + Marines try and keep the whole concept of gods and demigods under wraps. Because I'm working with "D's" carry divinity. And having a good chunk of them outright despise the government isn't a great look.

Luffy is a god while Garp and Dragon are demigods. Luffy can shift between physical and 'divine' form whereas demigods don't have that ability.

Luffy is the successor/inheritor of his predecessor's will and own divinity. But not through reincarnation necessarily. One in the same but they are very much so different. His devil fruit and promise to Shanks cemented his place as the successor to the sun and freedom. When gods and demigods start out, there isn't a wholly set future for what will they will have, or the ideals they will embody. Luffy has always had his cloudy/intangible form.

Imagine Garp's surprise when his grandson, who was supposed to join him in the marines, is set to embody freedom and the sun. He was pissed for a solid week about that. Garp also had to deal with questioning where Dragon had even gotten Luffy from, he still doesn't know.

Ace and Sabo were very adamant that Luffy not show off his divine form to everyone, especially if he wanted to become a pirate. He can't be a pirate if the government tracks him down and hides him away at the ripe age of like, 8. Also because having a full god is pretty uncommon, Sabo has heard horror story after horror story of what nobles and those in higher society would do to a god. Sabo is the most vocal about Luffy being careful about that.

Luffy meets Koby, and does an absolutely terrible job at keeping his form hidden. It's harder to control which form he's in when he's excited. Koby was a human with no divinity and big dreams that Luffy adored. So, already excited with a new friend, and the two on their way to Shells town, Luffy sneezed and immediately sold himself out. Koby is a terrible liar and so just elects to never speak on this topic ever. If anyone asks why he has so much knowledge on gods, specifically sun gods, he just doesn't answer. Helmeppo thinks it's funny and immediately pieced together why, because Koby cannot keep anything from him. And Garp has to respect how hard that kid is trying to not completely sell out his grandson, even if the brat kind of deserves it for being a pirate.

Luffy is going to be the Pirate King, divine or not. His crew quickly find out about his side quirk/form in varying ways. Zoro woke up one day with a cloudy demon from hell cutting off his airways. Nami was trying to explain clouds to Luffy and that 'no, they cannot just spawn on your person, that's stupid,' and so Luffy shows her that he is in fact, correct.

Usopp got jumpscared early in the morning, before the sun had risen, when Luffy just appeared behind him and asked if he wanted to watch the sunrise. Sanji was cooking dinner and Luffy got so excited he phased out of his physical body.

Chopper found out while asking Luffy if he had any medical conditions he should know about, he thought it was kinda cool that Luffy can change forms. And is only a little jealous that Luffy has a fully human form. Luffy always makes sure to tell Chopper he's exactly who he needs to be.

Robin found out after talking about 'Nika,' who is thought to be long dead, but is not. And is the captain of the crew she is now apart of. Luffy knows the name is important and it has a certain weight when it's said. He physically feels when someone says his name around him. Robin thinks this is very fascinating. (Also can add some context into poneglyphs, that there is a lot to it, even if Robin doesn't yet know and Luffy wasn't alive/doesn't have that knowledge)

Franky was showing off cool shit he could do with his robotic body, and Luffy was like 'me too!!!'

Brook found out when Luffy fell asleep listening to him play a song, and Luffy slipped back into his resting form of cloudiness.

While both forms have their uses and limitations, Luffy is most comfortable in his intangible form, even if his physical one is the default. He cannot access his divine form after a certain point of exhaustion hits.

Im going to end that there before I have an entire novel in this. But that's the general thought throw up I'm smacking down right now.

Sorry if this is incoherent and not easy to understand lol. I will flesh it out more later and when I have actually thought more about it. Might change things later too. Then I'll probably make a good post about it with actual wellish made context and lore.

[hoodedjelly]

timeskip nicktoon unite designs (+ my human spongebob design!!!)

(lots of help with these from @chocowhomps and @smorallow !!!!!!!!!! FOLLOW THEM NOW NOW NOW)

My hcs info for all of them:

Spongebob: Any pronouns, genderfluid, asexual, homoromantic Danny: He/him, Transmasc, Pansexual Jimmy: He/him, Transmasc, Unlabeled Timmy: He/They, Non-binary, Bisexual

also Spongebob has freckles on his face and many small birthmarks all over his body. Spongebob is Autistic and is like the silly gay uncle in the group. he supports all of them as much as he can but is still just a very silly little guy. Danny is a tired stressed mess that still does hero work. he is also very big brother core to timmy and messes with him a lot, but he loves them i swear! Jimmy is autistic and does commission work for the fbi/gov, and he is VERY gifted kid burnt out. He is a bit of a slacker and has very little interest in school and finds the structure constraining (cause of the tisum). He tries to connect with ppl more since he is not a ppl person like how he was when he was younger. Timmy has ADHD and is still pretty immature. He still has his fairies, needed them to deal with his negligent ass parents. Cosmo and Wanda are basically his new parents, but around 16 they divorce (ik crazy thing but shut up i think they would, Cosmo is not a good partner 😭). They are still around for timmy though!

MASSIVE thanks to chocowhomps again for the help with the hcs. they are basically all his. i had little help with it he is very awesome

[forsoobado137]

Hi , i discovered your account a little while ago and i really enjoyed your nation revealed au posts and i wanted to know if you had more France nation revealed au headcanons because your posts about him are hilarious and he's my favourite character

OUAIS FRANCEEEEE! Oh my god there's so much. He would thrive in the spotlight. He's very charming and good looking, so he knows how to control public opinion. I'm not trying to say that every citizen loves him, but he's a very admired national treasure. The French gov takes advantage of this and tries to make him announce things so they'll be taken more lightly. He attends political press conferences and stuff, but he's usually there to look pretty and distract people from getting mad. It's become a bit of a meme like "when they bring out Mr. France, shit's going to hit the fan."

He's been in a few movies back in the day. But he was usually cast as an extra because the gov didn't want whatever erotic scene he was in to "taint the national reputation". He usually does voice cameos in movies now, and he DEFINITELY made a cameo in Ratatouille (he had one line). The only physical cameos he makes are in historical documentaries.

As the "nation of fashion", He's also starred in many beauty commercials, and has been on many magazine covers (duh). He attends fashion shows to support designers, and his tweets during fashion week are always a highlight. He starts a lot of trends too. Luxury brands see his influence and trample over each other for his endorsement.

His social media personality depends on the site. I made a more in depth post here, but I'll sum it up. His twitter is where he posts his "philosophical musings" with a side of memes. His Instagram is where he is in peak slut form, but he posts normal French stuff periodically to get his boss off his back. His Tiktok is a mix of Twitter and Insta, but more focused on making cooking videos and trends. He also loves posting about his cat, and makes matching outfits for him. he often features other nations in his posts, and films them doing mundane silly things.

Since France is the most visited country in the world, he has a lot of interactions with tourists. He does his whole "charming Frenchman" schtick and gives little tours around Paris. He also does tours at the Louvre, though he usually cares more about the paintings involving himself. Despite the fun, he always has to deal with people being disrespectful and entitled to him. It's even worse now in the age of the internet, where everyone's trying to have their fifteen minutes of fame. People record themselves trying to ask him on a date, flirt with him, kiss him, and other things when he's just trying to get his coffee. He politely turns them down, but he's punched many a tourist before.

France has also been in some scandals. He's had many sex scandals. Too many to count. So many that it's not even considered a scandal when he's caught sleeping with powerful people or being indecent in public. He's a very passionate person. He has been arrested many times, often while at protests. He can also get very confrontational with the paparazzi on a bad day. Those videos often go viral, and people talk about how "unhinged" he is (and say he's "iconic" or whatever). Obviously, his outbursts and police confrontations are a very bad look for the gov. But there's not much they can do to stop him without public backlash. So usually they make him apologize.

He's often invited to talk shows and interviews both in France and abroad. For the serious interviews, it's usually about political and historical stuff. For talk shows, it's a mix of "he's so hot" and trying to make a spectacle out of his eccentric moments. Hosts are usually respectful, but English-speaking ones will often poke fun at his English, and sometimes do stuff like "say squirrel" to laugh at his accent. They'll also joke about his "meltdowns" and stuff (half the time they're moments where he's in mental distress).

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Mount Justice

Featuring West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice

I'm a 20 year old sophmore at West Virginia University when I heard there was an opening for aide at the governor's office. I immediately became interested as I wanted a career in politics. I signed up for the position and had an appointment for an interview days later. I entered the governor's office and his receptionist Carry, greeted me and told me to have a seat while she grabbed the doctor. Apparently, the assitant doing the hiring went home early due to a migraine and Gov. Jim Justice will be doing the interveiw himself. Now I was even more nervous as I waited to be called into his office.

Finally, after 10 minutes, his secretary escorted me into his office. I was surprised at how big he was as he stood. At 6'7" and nearing 400lbs., Justice was a big fucking bear of a man who towered over me. I’ll admit, I was a little intimidated by the sheer size of him with myself being only 5'8", 165lbs. He was wearing a suit coat, a button up shirt, actually very distinguished and mature looking.

He shook my hand and said thanks for coming and asked me to take a seat as he sat down on a sturdy stool. At Justice’s side was his grumpy-looking English bulldog, Babydog, who sat beside the governor in a cushioned dog seat.

Gov. Justice reminded me that I was his last interview and not to worry as he was going to give me equal time to qualify for the position. It started with small talk of my school year and what I got out of it and my future for college etc. While we talked, I gave him a look over. Justice was kinda “folksy,” calling himself a frog who’s proud of his pond. Not the most handsomest guy, but I'd still love to fuck around with him for a weekend. And for some reason with his dog, Babydog watching.

Gov. Justice mentioned he was down to 3 candidates who he was considering, I begged for the job telling him I'd do what it took to get the position. He asked me what I’d do the other two couldn’t do for me. Somehow or another I blurted out "I'll blow you."

"What?" Gov. Justice asked with a look of amazement.

I was silent and just looked at him waiting for him to say something else as he had his internal struggle. I knew Justice has well-documented issues with mobility owing to his weight and height, and recently underwent a gallbladder removal surgery. So he probably hasn't had sex in at least a month or more. So I chose to take things further, getting up and walking over to him as he sat there, not knowing what to do next.

"Gov. Justice, I'm willing to work long and tirelessly at ANYTHING you put in front of me." I said, watching carefully when I emphasized anything and saw all I needed to see.

His face turned red and just shook his head as if there was nothing I could do. A feral smile arose internally. My cock hardened at the thought of him and I having sex on the desk as I continued with my proposal.

"How long has it been since you had your cock sucked?" He froze at the question, calculating since his last sexual encounter no doubt.

"Gov. Justice… Does your wife she suck your cock every night and morning? Does she make you feel good?" I asked, noticing the patch of gray hair sticking out of the top of his light-blue knit shirt before fixing the collar of his shirt.

I slowly shook his head no. I smiled meekly, putting my hands on his massive thighs before I knelt in front of him. Licking my lips, I said, "Gov. Justice, can you give me just one chance to prove myself."

With his lips quivering, he nodded yes as I slid my hands up and down his legs. Thick legs have always been a turn on for me as I let my hands explore his beautiful legs.

Then I put on my most sincere face and thanked him while I unbuckled his belt so I could undo his pants. Gov. Justice stood up a bit so I could undo his slacks. I slid them down and was rewarded with a pretty decent cock and balls. It was about 6 inches, thick, veiny and most importantly, hard. I licked from the bottom of his shaft to the tip as he shuddered in pleasure. I took in his musky smell and it felt so erotic as I flicked the head of his prick, rolling his balls over in my palm. My tongue slid down the side of his cock and back up again, licking him with vigour as I felt my cock flutter uncomfortably in my jeans. I reached down and unzipped them, allowing my prick to fall out and leak precum onto the floor.

I grabbed the base of his cock and wrapped my lips around it, my tongue thrust against the shaft I swallowed half of his manhood and went to work. I could feel the veins on his cock as my lips glided up and down his shaft as his nuts bounced invitingly against my chin. I reached up and tugged at his nuts, my fingers curled around them and he moaned with satisfaction.

"Damn! You're good." The 72-year-old exclaimed as I deep throated his thick dick.

Just then, I felt his big hand grab my head and press it down, looking up with my mouth full of juicy cock, I saw his glazed over eyes and it told me everything I needed to know. I had him right where I wanted him as I continued my assault on his cock. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Babydog. I thought it was funny that his dog was watchuing us. Then suddenly all thoughts of the dog watching fled my mind as Gov. Justice as the old man leaned back on his stool and moaned.

"Wait… Suck my balls." The governor said as he suddenly pulled back causing his dick to slip out of my mouth with a pop.

"Suck them. I try to get my wife to suck my balls, but she won't." Gov. Justice said as he grabbed me behind the head and pulled my face back to his crotch.

I quickly took one of his hairy balls in my mouth and sucked gently on it, inducing a bear-like moan from him. Sucking harder, he cried out, started shaking all over as he let go of my head and wrapped his hand around his wet cock, stroking generously. I worked him into a frenzy, moving back and forth from one of his hairy balls to the other.

After a minute or two, he stopped again and grabbed me by the back of my hair and pulled me back onto his cock. I was lost as he started using profanity tell me harshly to suck his cock and get a drink off his hose. He was having fun with me, and I was loving every minute. I sucked deep and hard as well as soft and slow making this cock last, he had no problem as he was moving his hips in and out using my face to fuck as he pleased.

“Damn, this is hot!” Gov. Justice called out excitedly as he fucked my mouth faster and faster. “Get ready. I’m cumming! Damn! I’m cumming!”

Suddenly, Gov. Justice pulled his dick out of my mouth and shot his huge load onto my face as he held my head in front of his squirting dick. Looking down with approval as he squeezed the shaft to get another drop of his cum out before flopping his cock on my tongue. Then as he shook the last drops of cum from the piss hole of his dick, I stood up as my long fat dick sprung up and stood straight out from my body. It was so hard it was throbbing.

The old man's eyes got big as he glanced down at my long fat dick and then back to his and whistled. I smiled. I always like to surprise people with the size of my dick. Seems people always expected a guy like me to have a little cock. Well, I had a monster dick. Feeling obligated, Gov. Justice surprised me by reaching down and grabbing hold of my dick. Then the old man surprised me by reaching out and closing his hand around my rock hard dick. Now that was a special moment. The old man’s callused hand felt wonderful wrapped around my dick.

"Damn! What a cock! Shit, I bet my wife couldn't take that thing. GOD! Is it thick." Gov. Justice called out excitedly as he pumped his hand back and forth over the head of my dick before adding, "Hell, makes mine look small."

"GOD! I would love to have a dick the size of yours." He said looking into my eyes, pounding away at my engorged young dick.

Feeling his rough, bear-like paws on my cock was amazing as jacked it faster and faster. Just seeing his hair arm moving back and forth as he jacked me, filled me with such excitement that I quickly shot off in the governor's hand. When I finish cuming, Gov. Justice held his cum laden hand to my lips for me to lick my own cum. I did it. When he was finished, he leaned over until his face was almost touching mine and asked me when I wanted to start.

I replied "Start what?"

[makowcy]

talk to me about spacing mining au martyn please plese i want to onow everything about him why is he kidnapping jimmy why is he an antagaonist why is he so handsom

clap alright

Martyn is a professional bounty hunter under Rens command aka he gets sponsored by the government to do his job (he is not a space cop but as far as the wanted characters are concerned he may as well be so if i refer to him as such thats why)

He had a brief encounter with Tango more early on, but for once Tango figures out quickly that this man works for the gov so not much happens there.

Quick timeline later Grian disappears > Scar burns Jimmy's house > Jimmy and Tango travel together for a while > they get separated by a commotion and Martyn meets Jimmy

Jimmy was wearing Tango's coat and since Martyn has already seen it once he followed him and decided to help him out, which immediately gained Jimmy's trust (+Martyn wasn't hiding that he's also from Earth). Now Jimmy basically ended up babbling about his life to Martyn and considering that his family members include someone so wanted as Pearl and whatever he has going on with Tango he's just a great leverage (side note most of the information he shared was useless to Martyn, the man has separation anxiety and the only people he ever speaks to is his family, ex husband and Tango, he just spoke his his heart out)

Also while it's a kidnapping Jimmy doesn't even realize it for the first half and Martyn finds him amusing, harboring criminals is not legal but he doesn't really care so nothing against the guy

Martyn used to be a criminal like many earthians and he ended up in his current work as a rehab thing, he proved himself to be very good at his job and stayed for the money (and ren). Currently he's Ren right hand and does a lot of the dirty work for him. He has his private information network and does things behind Ren's back which he is aware of, but he trusts him and can't quite bring himself to discipline him. One of many qprs in this au they are also not normal but a different flavor. Narrative wise while Ren is in a higher position of power than Martyn he's more of a supporting character for him

Anyways the reason for Grians disappearence is also Martyn and his little schemes, they had a quest with BigB, but the two of them did not trust Martyn one bit and BigB ended up helping Grian get away

Other important note is that Tango and Martyn are opposites in many ways and he absolutely hates him

[onyourowndaisymae]

would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons

explanations + hcs below the cut:

content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)

post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan

you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents

the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways

mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that

satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.

mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi

asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts

simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off

luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.

speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.

mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto

belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.

lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.

diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.

mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.

not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael

beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.

something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.

blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon

i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit

[abchavenforanon]

HEADCANON DUMP >:D

Even if the states aren't visibly cryptic/animalistic (ex: have no "animalistic" or "inhuman" features), they still have the ability to do/have cryptic and/or animalistic abilities. Some make sense, some don't. Examples:

Texas, Arizona, and Gov all have venomous bites, sharp fangs or not

New York has inhuman flexibility and agility (cat man 🫵)

Florida is REALLY good at swimming and just hovering somewhat above the water (alligator)

Louisiana just has a creepy/cryptic aura to him (bro is haunted and surrounded by spirit so-)

Texas with big ol doe eyes is one of my favorite things ever

Alaska randomly abducts the other states as teddy bears. Especially if he senses that they're sad. ( ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️TW WARNING FOR BURNS AND FIRE IN THE NEXT ONE⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Louisiana almost lost an arm in one of the New Orleans fires. He has A LOT of skin graphs and his arm is VERY sensitive to touch. Whenever he wears long sleeves, it's all very soft fabric so that it won't chafe the skin there.

^Hes also pretty insecure about how his ENTIRE arm is burnt and scarred, and that he has to take extra care to not hurt the already sensitive skin. He does love it when Florida gives him kisses there and gently traces the scars though

^(Florida loves it too because it always gets Loui to smile and laugh a little <3)

(END OF TW)

New York and Mass team up to make flower crowns for everyone on holidays. New York makes them, Mass makes sure that the flowers don't die with his magic.

I think it'd be hilarious if there was a scenario like this:

Florida: *sees a big ass hungry alligator* That's fine.

Florida: *sees a spider* aaaAAAÆÆÆ-

oooh! these are all so fun. my favorites are loui's creepy aura, alaska stealing the others to act as teddy bears, york and mass making flower crowns (that would make for wonderful art btw if any fanartists happen to be reading this), and florida being scared of spiders haha. thanks for sharing!!

[doueverwonder]

not spoiling your fics <<<< needing to talk about ideas to be able to think them through

anyway my ideas so far for @/wttt-week :)

Day one: EO declaring there are only two genders, Nevada, as a nonbinary person, declares this means that as they don't exist anymore she is above the law and can do whatever she wants :) Gov fumbling bc thats not how that works (i don't think gov can agree OR disagree with anything he's just kinda there he's just trying to damage control). random states chiming in with "no i think they're right" bc first and foremost all the states are dedicated to telling the government to fuck off regardless of political alignment send tweet.

Day Four: Midwest Shenanigans, "did you know it's possible to get a DUI while driving a tractor?" one of them comments, "how do you know that?" gov asks tiredly, "oh... reading laws" cue the flashback to the shenanigans that ended with them finding this out.

Day Six: Branches road trip! fighting over seats, Navy being a horrid driver (hc courtesy of @floridagirlboy), Marine Corp being an even worse front seat passenger, Air Force & Space force being forced to sit in the very back bc they're the youngest + Air Force questionable music taste & Space's cryptic questions that cause the entire car to go silent for a solid 20 min after each one, Nat'l Guard and Army fighting over the AC/Heat and being insanely competitive at the license plate game, and Coast Guard getting forgotten every single time they stop. Just every time. They add like 4 hours onto the trip alone in having to turn around to go get Coast.

Tfw you and the buddies are all stationed out west at the moment and u gotta be in DC for something but miss the flights and there's not another one in time so you drive, they're running just a little behind and have to get ready in the car like 45 min outside of DC. Navy and Coast both cursing the decision to wear Whites (its July wearing blues (the winter uniform) would look weird) while trying to change in a car with three days worth of road trip grime. Navy refuses to let someone else drive so he's trying to get dressed while letting Marine steer. "does this look like 1/8 of an inch?" "why didn't you do this at home" "I didn't think i'd have to do it in a moving vehicle" & "my shirt is wrinkled, do we have an iron???" "in the car???????" & "I'm missing a star, has anyone seen a star???" "just take one off the other side so they're even no one will be paying attention" "yes they will be, where is my fucking star!" & "who sat on my hat?!" "oh that was me, to be fair it was ugly so I kinda did you a favor" & "I swear on Washington's grave if you get shoe polish on my pants" It sounds like a flock of wind chimes has descended upon the car when they're all trying to get their medals on, marine being a good bf puts navy's on for him so he can focus on driving-- who said that. Everyone makes fun of Air Force for carrying dry shampoo on him until right now, Air will be smug about this for the next 70 years. Space gave up on putting her hair in a bun in a bumpy car after like 10 min, her braids are slightly uneven, she's just praying no one looks too close she did her best. They get out of that Honda minivan looking as sharp as if they had the right place and amount of time to get ready, but are still walking in with the "nobody's gonna know, nobody's gonna know, they're gonna know. how would know? how would they know?" Sound playing in their heads in entire event.

um that’s all I have so far thanks <3

(sorry last one is so long using those idiots to cope with irl haha)

[sanjisboyfie]

❔[NAME] WIKI - ALABASTA ARC ENDS

realized i left it out of my a/n last update but, after every major arc in one piece, there will be a "[name] wiki" that will just highlight information that might have been missed/not so obviously stated about [name] as well as bonus infomration on relationships, fun facts, etc!!! anyway, enjoy this little filler update before skypiea <333

link to original fanfic where thsi wiki is based from :D

full name: [REDACTED] D. [NAME]

age: 20, departed from foosha village at 17 — it’s been three years since then

affiliations:

— [REDACTED] Pirates ERROR LOADING

— [REDACTED] ERROR LOADING

— connection with Shanks/Red Hair Pirates in some way

— [REDACTED] Pirates, temporary member, mutual gain

— Straw Hat Pirates

epithet: [REDACTED]

The Cursed Orphan

birthday: [xx/xx] ← this is your own birthday LOL

height: 6’5

there is a reason he is so tall, please trust me he is not insanely tall for no reason. like there are plot reasons as to why he built like a beanstock.

- related: i forgot that his height was lowkey a plot point (a teensy teensy tiny bit) so i forgot to mention his height until very very very very very recently in the chaptesr LMFAOOA

bounty:

— 200,000,000

— 250,000,000

japanese va: junichi suwabe … or … yuki kaji … or more like kenjiro tsuda (i cant decide unfortunately lmk in comments bc i like all of these vas a lot) 

appearance:

— has a giant tattoo expanding over his shoulders/back. they look like wings (minus the figure in the middle). they don’t look like the typical tattooed angel wings going downwards, they more-so stretch across his back and the tips end at his deltoids.

— keeps a black cloth wrapped around one of his wrists, at all times. this cloth was torn from shanks’ cloak and [name] keeps it as a safe keeping

— always is wearing a silver necklace. it’s a simple, thin chain that is almost unnoticeable, but he is never seen without it.

— has scars all over his body. they’re not battle scars. they start from his face and go all the way down to his feet. if you were to see his entire body, you would see that most of the scars are single lines that do NOT disconnect from their starting point. they run almost continuously. for example, the scarred line that starts at his face goes all the way down to his feet, without being “interrupted.” origins are unknown.

weapon: a sword that was passed down from shanks and given to him as a gift. he doesn’t know the proper name of it, but it looks like a regular katana. he has never drawn his sword in the series yet, seeing as he only reveals the blade when he is out to very seriously maim, torture, or kill his enemies. the katana radiates an intimidating aura and anyone around [name] can feel it.

standard outfit: just jeans and a t-shirt, nothing crazy goes on here LMFAO or whatever you wanna envision him to be wearing.

abilities: have not been completely revealed, but it does have something to do with water. this explains his ability to control people’s bodies, seeing as their blood and overall body mass has a high percentage of water.

— he has some control over sea water, but only for short bursts of time.

— he is not completely immune to the effects of sea water, though. if he is submerged in it for a long enough period of time <a couple of minutes>, then he will begin drowning and sinking just like a devil fruit eater would.

— did not eat a devil fruit. the origins of his powers are unknown at this time.

— skilled swordsman, source: trust me bro. but seriously, he doesn’t just swing around the sword, even though we’ve never seen him use it, he’s generally very good with weapons of all kinds — but has a specialty in blades.

— has been seen using geppo, soru, and shigan. 

favorite food: COFFEE BEANS + SEAFOOD :) cheese

fun facts:

likes: all the strawhats, animals, bitter flavors

dislikes: the world gov + navy, anyone that isn't a strawhat, anything sweet flavored

— the name the government gave him was due to how they could not find any family lineage tied to him

— considers dadan and makino as his mother figures!

— the song he is always humming is for fruits basket <333

— its not that he only drinks coffee and not anything else — like booze, its just he doesnt like the taste of booze. he can drink it, but he wont like it.

— if he were to live in the real world, he would have a job in child protective services. he cares a lot for children. plus he feels the natural instinct to be protective of those around him.

— he can tell if there is anybody nearby due to how he is able to see water concentration to a certain extent. that is why whenever he squints in the distance or at the water, he is looking for something to pop out and is expecting to see someone/something.

— is really offstandish when it comes to strangers. it takes a lot to get trust out of him, but if it’s someone that luffy or the others trust, then he’s quick to lower his guard.

— finds it really amusing whenever chopper, nami, or usopp run to hide behind him when they see any enemies. he doesn’t mind it, but still thinks its really funny whenever it happens.

— he enjoys pissing off zoro, but never brings up their past fight. to him, it was a silly thing that happened in the past so he doesn’t hold it over zoro’s head, plus he saw how much it affected the swordsman.

— hates manspreaders → has a chronic, worst case of manspreading anyone has ever seen

— has the highest debt to nami in the entire crew (somewhere in the 300-400,000)

— the tattoo over ace’s heart are words that he and ace shared with each other (”together in chaos”) when they were children (LOOOREEEE)

— wants to start working out with zoro, but due to their recent adventures hasn’t had the chance to :(

— unlike luffy, he has no qualms in killing his enemies. he wishes he were like luffy in this sense, but he is paranoid that these people will come back for him, or worse — the crew, so he eliminates them when he can.

— [name] really, really wanted vivi to come along. but he didn't verbalize it so as to not pressure her or manipulate the decision of what she herself wanted.

— whenever he wakes up from sleep, he’s in one of three odd positions: 1. luffy and him somehow end up cuddling, 2. he’s on the floor, or 3. he’s (not maliciously aka they're not actually dying.) choking either zoro or sanji with his arm.

— feels particularly protective of nami — not because she is a woman, but because he saw how sick she had gotten and was scared she would die. addtionally, he trusts her and her ability to fight, but if she requests for his help in a battle, he wouldn’t hesitate to go and help her.

— if him and sanji can't sleep at night, they go out on the deck and smoke together until one of them gets tired and they go back to bed.

— rather prideful in being strong. at the same time, he doesn’t really enjoy the nature of his abilities

— [name] had a bad history with the people on whiskey peak, which explains his hostility to them in the beginning chapters (they fooled him by giving him a lot of food, then they tried attacking him while he was sleeping, and he had to fight them.) doesn't like being lied to.

— vivi wishes she could have knighted [name] into holding a formal title as a guardian in the kingdom of alabasta, but igaram rejected the idea. her father and pell were close to agreeing, but ultimately decided that they couldn't and shouldn't seeing as [name] was too infamous for being a lethal pirate. vivi sulked about this for a while.

love language : acts of service and physical touch

— the more comfortable he is with someone, the more likely he is to crack jokes around them. it means hes relaxed and can feel comfortable being himself rather than being on edge and guarded.

— vivi often times hums the song that [name] always hummed, smiling whenever she remembers the amount of memories she had made with the crew. that song has now become her favorite despite her not knowing where it was from or if there were even words that went along with it.

— animal representation: crow

— who would he be if the strawhats were a family? the one younger cousin that keeps running around shouting about how he wants to fight/do something that requires a lot of energy from everyone else (or, cool uncle)

— he actually naturally has a very sweet scent, but since he is always brewing coffee/eating coffee beans, he masks that scent with coffee since he hates it :)

personality type : ENFP

→ characters that are ENFP: jinx (arcane/league of legends), hu tao (genshin impact), harley quinn (dc universe), and ellie (the last of us)

how would [name] describe his relationships:

with luffy: captain, dearest person in his life, partner in crime in annoying the rest of the crew, personal backpack since luffy is always climbing him

with zoro: most reliable crewmate, best first mate to luffy, good friendly competitor 1/2 strongest swordsman in the world

with nami: smartest crewmate!! admires her navigation abilities, enjoys her company when she isn't yelling bloody murder at him </3 1/3 of his priority people to protect

with usopp: fun to tease and joke around with, enjoys the way usopp lies even though he hates liars, 2/3 of his priority people to protect

with sanji: the best chef in the world, genuinely a very kind man, sees eye to eye with him more often than not, thinks his rude persona is just a front LOL good friendly competitor 2/2

with chopper: cutest mascot, thinks he is genuinely very strong, admires his mental strength and his story, 3/3 of his priority people to protect

with vivi: worrisome princess, braver than she gives herself credit for, very close friend he hopes to reunite with in the future! a crewmate in his mind even if she is not sailing with them

with ace: idiot, but also a very cute idiot <3 freckles, sees a lot of their childhood in ace’s eyes which makes him slightly emotional, reckless, misses him a lot right now

EXTRA BONUS:

playlist !

his theme songs are: chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, i know ? by travis scott, here comes your man by the pixies ← will add more songs in each wiki !!!

— cotcc : “it’s beautiful, how this deep normality settles down over me. i’m not bored or unhappy, i’m still so strange and wild. you’re in the wind, i’m in the water. nobody’s son, nobody’s daughte,”

— i know ?: “tell me, is you still up. it’s 5 a.m. and i’m drunk right now. tell me, can we still fuck. // i know, mami, i know, it’s 2 a.m., don’t stress. at 3, that bullshit kick in, in thirty, you’ll feel your best”

— here comes your man, “take me away to nowhere plains. there is a wait so long (so long, so long). you'll never wait so long. here comes your man, here comes your man, here comes your man, here comes your man”

luffy & [name]: video games, “it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you. everything i do — i tell you all the time. heaven is a place on earth with you. // it’s better than i ever even knew. they say that the world was built for two. only worth living if somebody is loving you.”

zoro & [name]: married with children, “i hate the way that you are so sarcastic and you’re not very bright. you think that everything you’ve done’s fantastic. your music’s shit, it keeps me up all night, up all night // and it will be nice to be alone, for a week or two. but i knew then i will be right, right back here with you, with you, with you, with you, with you, with you”

sanji & [name]: right side of my neck, “the right side of my neck still smells like you. the right side of my neck still smells like you”

nami & [name]: LOYALTY, “tell me when your loyalty is comin’ from the heart. tell me who you loyal to. do it start with your women or your man? do it end with your family and friends? or you’re loyal to yourself in advance?”

usopp & [name]: my way, “for what is a man, what has he got? if not himself, then he has naught. to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels. the record shows i took the blows. and did it my way”

vivi & [name]: happiness is a butterfly, “if he’s a serial killer, then what’s the worst thing that could happen to a girl who’s already hurt? i’m already hurt. if he’s as bad as they say, then i guess i’m cursed. looking into his eyes, i think he’s already hurt. he’s already hurt.”

chopper & [name]: live and let die, “when you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live. but if this ever changing world in which we’re living, makes you give in and cry — say live and let die”

ace & [name]: my love mine all mine, “nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love, mine, all mine, all mine. // nothing in the world is mine for free, but my love mine, all mine, all mine”

taglist (lmk if u want to be tagged ! <3 :

@skullr0se , @strawberrii-tea, @triangulartriangles, @anotherlovefool, @haratatsu, @sinmp, @3v37773, @taru-nami, @disc0dild0s, @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @kaulitzer, @notplutos, @cheetosins

[ .ᐟ ] PSA ! DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT READ THIS  (older version of this) STORY ON WATTPAD I REPEATTTTT DO NOTTT BECAUSE ! MY OLD VERSION OF THIS STORY IS STILL PUBLISHED bc i dont rlly want to take it down tbh bc a lot of ppl still read it AND IT IS SPOILLLERRRSS FOR WHAT I PLAN ON DOING WITH THIS STORY !!! because this is re-written and a much much much much much improved version of that oldddd story + it is still following that original plot line i had all those years ago just like 10000x better bc idk what drugs i was on when i was writing that ff all those years ago bc that shit is crazy LMFOAOAOA i beg, i BEG, of you to not read it i want this experience to be so fun with all the plotwists and motives of characters like pleaseeee do not read it (also ??? its jus so cringe worthy jus dont read it LFMAO) 

[lil-shiro]

I'm wondering about how's lance's public perception in canada, I hope its good, because knowing how much hate he receive online I was pleasantly surprised that he was received warmly during his home race.

This is a difficult question to answer because i'm just a single data point, but i'll give my opinion.

Just for context though, I don't consider motorsports in general very mainstream in Canada (at least compared to other places). If you asked someone on the street who Lance was, maybe 2/10 people would know. Motorsports was bigger here until the gov made tobacco sponsorships illegal in 1988. After that there was (and still is) little corporate interest in supporting or sponsoring motorsport.

Anyways onto your actual question.

There are only 20 drivers on the grid, therefore having a driver who reps your own flag, feels good for the most part. I think that's a general consensus.

So, of course there are Canadians who cheer for Lance, or don't mind him just cause he's Canadian. Maybe they only really pay attention to him during the Canadian GP. But there's also people who don't give a shit about that and neg on him anyways.

In Montreal at least, I think he gets very good support. He always shouts out his favourite businesses, donates to charities here, and can actually speak french (this is big). So yeah he always gets a good reception at home which im really happy about. I can't really speak about other places. Overall I don't think it's mega negative though, majority are probably? neutral.

Maybe I sound like a hypocrite since I've mentioned before that i hate when people say im a lance fan just because im canadian. But i can't lie and say that the familiarity doesn't feel good. Like that tim's car and suit was everything i ever needed in life 😭 I really want them to lean into that type of marketing more.

I'll save you from myself ranting about this but idk lmk if you wanna know more about motorsports in Canada. It does exist outside of IndyCar and F1, just on smaller, lesser known scale.

[chaoticarson16]

main six - 🟡🔴🏡 🧵 🗣

um i didn’t know if you wanted us to pick one for your character headcanon ask game, so i chose multiple just in case. also didn’t know who to choose lol

Multiple is perfectly fine cause it lets me rant about more than one of my blorbos :D (Also sorry I forgot to check my inbox!!)

🟡 - Happy

California: When he’s happy he bounces on the balls of his feet while flapping his hands and even though he won’t admit it New York finds this adorable (Me? Projecting? Nooooo)

New York: He barely shows it but he really enjoys having the rest of the northeast + California around and he likes making them little gifts and anonymously leaving them in front of their door

Louisiana: He both enjoys and gives the best hugs. He knows what kind of hugs the rest of the states like and loves just randomly appearing and hugging them

Florida: He can actually bake really well and loves to make snacks for the South. He has everyone’s favorite desserts, snacks, and allergies memorized.

Texas: Even though he’d deny it, he really likes cuddling. Whether it be cause someone was cold, sad, or just wanted to. He’s also like the perfect pillow cause he’s one of the biggest states and there’s enough room for quite a few people.

Gov: He really loves snakes so any time he sees one his eyes do the cat thing and he has to keep himself from ranting about that specific species

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

California: He genuinely doesn’t know why most states hate him. He understands some is politics but he doesn’t know why the others do. It affects him so much he’s changed himself so much to get them to like him that very few know what he’s actually like

New York: He keeps up his rude demeanor because he doesn’t wanna get too close to people in fear they’ll leave. He’s terrified of losing people he loves so he chooses to stay away from people. But it eats him up inside that he doesn’t really have anyone so he’s stuck in this cycle of wanting friends but not wanting to lose them

Louisiana: During the Civil War he was so torn between doing what his government wanted and doing what his people wanted. In the end he was forced to help his government through threat of harm. He still has heavy survivors guilt and is tormented by the spirits of his lost people. (I headcanon him as African American and that he can see spirits)

Florida: He puts on a mask that he’s happy all the time but it makes him sad knowing that most of the states are scared of him or hate him. He likes causing chaos cause it’s how his people are but he hates how the other states pull away from him when he does it.

Texas: He likes to act like he’s big and tough and that nothing affects him but it does. Every event in his state, big or small, affects him. The insults some states will throw out. He takes those to heart and truly believes them. He acts like he’s confident but he’s insecure and severely doubts he’ll ever be good enough (Damn that was rougher than I expected it to sound)

Gov: When he first came around as Continental Congress, he had so much work that most nights he didn’t sleep. PA tried to help him but it was just too much. He did that so often that it’s now become a habit. He will work until his body physically can not move anymore, sometimes skipping meals to get it all done

🏡 - Home

California: (I saw this from someone else and I stole it because it was such a good headcanon) When not at the statehouse he lives in a hobbit type house that connects into the surrounding mountain. It’s pretty roomy and he somehow has wifi in there.

New York: Usually at the statehouse cause his room there is bigger than the room in his apartment. He has a small apartment with enough space just for him.

Louisiana: He shares a house with Florida when not at the statehouse (literally married) it’s a decent sized one story house. They share one room and the others are used for shenanigans. They live away from most people so their yard is until they get to another house.

Florida: Usually the statehouse or the house he shares with Loui

Texas: He’s usually not at the statehouse. He has a ranch and a lot of land with it. He’s usually gone taking care of his horse Janie and his dog Buck. The ranch consists of his main house, a shed, and a barn with a stable. Think of a stereotypical barn then make it a light brown

Gov: This man almost never leaves his office. When he does he lives at the statehouse. He can not afford to leave them alone in the same house

🧵 - Hobbies

California: Surfing, skateboarding, hiking, basically most out door activities plus drawing, cooking, playing drums or guitar, and singing

New York: This man absolutely loves fashion. He also likes drawing, cooking and “gardening”

Louisiana: Cooking, (literally all of them can cook I’m so sorry) singing, playing instruments, dancing, and writing

Florida: Baking, dancing, singing, playing guitar and drums, causing chaos, swimming, and scaring the states with how much he actually knows

Texas: Baking, actual gardening, crochet, trick riding, shooting targets, and playing with his dog

Gov: Writing, drawing, hiking or going on walks, biking

🗣️ - Social

California: He’s pretty friendly with most people he meets and likes talking with people on social media platforms (he definitely has tumblr)

New York: He rarely talks to other people and actively avoids it

Louisiana: He treats everyone he meets like family and everyone loves him

Florida: He likes talking to random strangers about the things that interest them but when it comes to the states he actively tries to find a way to make it into a joke

Texas: He has a bit of social anxiety but it’s mostly in crowds where it’s a lot harder to escape. He enjoys talking to the other states about sports and stuff but he also likes talking to New Jersey about gardening

Gov: This man is so awkward, it’s great. The only social interaction he’s had is with politicians and the states. He can be professional no problem but the moment it comes to casual conversation he blanks. He mainly lets the person he’s talking to rant to him about things. The states actually go to him and rant about any and everything cause they know he won’t tell them to shut up