#that supports digestive health

[muppetjokernumbertwofan]

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

What did he do to me?

[the-muppet-joker]

I once drank three of these in one go and was not able to use the John for over ten days. Perhaps in moderation, Four could resolve their liquid bowel movement issue with an Olipop's Grape Soda, a New Kind of Soda that Supports Digestive Health.

[muppetjokernumberfivefan]

No nightmares last night, thank you Olipop. You don't just support my digestive health. You're a whole new kind on soda...

[muppetjokercrushing]

Why so serious? The only thing to be serious about is Olipop, a New Kind of Soda that Supports Digestive Help.

@the-muppet-joker made especially for you, to get you through these ever so trying times, my lordship.

[muppetjokernonbinaryfan]

Oh man, who’d have thought dumping half a warehouse of olipop into a bay and exploding the other half of the warehouse would lead to the water being lit in a multicolored flame for a minute and a half?! Shit was awesome, @descimatedcroakernightmares @olipopsoda @muppetjokernumberfivefan i hope you all enjoyed the show }>;)

@olipopsoda I’d say nothing personal, but the crater once known as your warehouse really speaks otherwise

[thenewscenemomuppetjokerfan]

~ ✨ You are not you when you're hungry ✨ ~

~ ✨ You are not you when you're hungry ✨ ~

~ ✨ You are not you when you're hungry ✨ ~

[premaritalhug]

Not to brag but....

[whiteumbrellaindia]

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[the-muppet-joker]

But it is a New Kind of Soda that Supports Digestive Health. Are you out of your fucking mind? The flavor is irrelevant

People who buy Olipop or just any prebiotic beverage marketed as a ‘gut healthy soda’ are just doing it for the appearance of being overtly health conscious. There’s no way they’re drinking that liquid fart with a meal over a Coke or Sprite or Dr Pepper. $30 for a 6 can sampler pack in this economy. Get fucking real.

[muppetjokernumbertwofan]

how are you feeling, number two? gonzo batman claims he's activated your soul virus, but i believe he's bluffing. but if he's not, i dont believe that he could create any virus strong enough to overcome the soul-protecting effects of Olipop soda (a new kind of soda that supports digestive health)

I have been experiencing some stomach cramps lately, I will go buy some Olipop tomorrow to remedy this issue…

[the-muppet-joker]

I had a dream last night that I was going to meet Kermit, my lover. But something was wrong. His eyes were the eyes of a human. I knew him in that moment to be the antichrist.

A strange light glowed from behind him, but the shadow he cast was hardly a muppet. Rather, it was a horse. Four horses, and the colors of the shadows were all wrong. One was white, one red, one black, and one had a pale glow. The black shadow stretched towards me and I fell into it.

I felt a sickening hunger and unbearable thirst tear through my body. I doubled over in pain, and a figure approached me in the dark, handing me........ wine? No. This was not wine. The cold of the can bit into my hand. It was hungry. I looked up at the being, who I thought had come to help save me from this hell. No. The Entity WAS this hell. It was hunger. It was famine. It had teeth running up and down its many limbed form and too many eyes which flicked their gaze about wildly in search of someone to give its blood. Its blood, its nectar, its New Kind of Soda. It will not satiate, it will starve.

I knew all this perfectly, and yet like a desparate animal, I drank. The sweet nectar blessed my tongue and cursed my insides. It shot through my body, corroding my organs. I defecated where I sat. I felt inhuman. And yet I continued to drink the Entity's poison. I was not myself anymore. I was only hunger and thirst. This was not Supporting My Digestive Health. This was madness.

Who knows what this dream could mean. I need an Olipop to calm down.

[muppetjokernumberfivefan]

Hey where the fuck am I supposed to buy Ollipop, it's not in Walmart and I need it to support my digestive health.

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

I love you Olipop. You are my favorite New Kind of Soda. You do so much to Support Digestive Health.

Thank you, the-muppet-joker! We're always happy to hear from our satisfied customers!

[muppetjokernonbinaryfan]

oH MAN WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING, i fEEL LIKE THERE ARE A BILLION THINGS GOING ON, fIVE IS MISSING (?), aND LIKE A BILLION HENCHMEN BECAME HORSES OR SOMETHING, aND i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH THE ARCHIVIST

mIGHT HAVE TO TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS FOR tUMBLR FOR A LITTLE BIT WHILE I WORK ON CHRONICLING THE oLIPOP THING

[unfilteredrealities]

Several days later…

I ended up having some type of food poisoning or a severe digestive reaction to some food not sure.

Had severe diarrhea to the point I was scared of my life. It felt as if I am peeing and not pooping out of my ass denfjendbfjr

I didn’t eat for 2 days and then on the 3rd day I jotted down 3 bananas. The next day another 2 bananas. Then on the 4th day I ate another one.

On the end one the 4th day to the 5th day I had normal farts again I didn’t have to fear for my life shitting myself anymore 🎉

Now I am just sad and empty. Weirdly I’m spotting now so very convenient for my body to go from severe shitting to pms and probably the monthly subscription of bleeding and being aggressive 🤡

Since I had the flu , I am still coughing 😭 it’s only if I do any kind of physical activity or movement so basically often so yeah even turning around in bed makes me cough…

Oh well.

That was the update for the last few days and that’s why I was kinda m.i.a

Hope yall had a better week ❤️

[max11237]

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