#that summarises most of my art actually
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✧ futures
made of
virtual insanity
#roblox#roblox pressure#pressure#pressure roblox#pressure game#pressure fanart#mr lopee#virtual insanity#this is an idea i had at like 10pm a while back#that summarises most of my art actually
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#talkings#kinning things is so funny like ever since i started letting myself actually kin#like. i kin vanny and habit#like hardcore right#sometimes im thinking about how i kin habit and its so funny cuz#(NSFT TYPE SHIT BEYOND THIS POINT) i kin him ya but also i want to bone him. i want syn to get fucked by him. syn is my sona.#so thats like.....the most entertaining form of self love in some respect i think#my relationship with kinning things is hard to explain and not something ive managed to summarise#but kinning helps me feel a lot more free and willing to be kinder to myself i think#i love seeing art of habit. makes me super happy. i love habit#evan myers too hes my skrimblo my babey boye i want syn to kiss him and also get [REDACTED] by his big fat [REDACTED]#habit gets a kiss as a treat too#sorry this went from me talking abt kinning to OH MY GOD IM SO THIRSTY FOR EVAN AND HABIT AND AND AND AND
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NEW YEAR, NEW ME
( A collab with thee lovely lele @bloombabydoll )
If you want to reinvent and rebrand yourself, or just continue to make positive improvements in 2024, the first thing is to evaluate your current year.
EVALUATION
Reflect on how things went for you. Was there continuous growth? Were there many difficult times? Did you discover anything major about yourself and so on. Try to summarise your year in (a) paragraph(s) at least.
Oversee your goals. Which ones you didn’t, did achieve, difficult ones, easy ones and the impacts it had on your life.
Compare your dream girl then and now. Is your visualisation of your life currently different to the one you have now and why?
List any major losses or successes you’ve had in your life, and how they have helped you or why it matters to you.
This evaluation can be as detailed or simple as you like, but as long as you have a decent outline of your year.
PREPARING & PLANNING
To prepare for 2024, you want to know what you want life to be like in 2024. Something realistic to a point, but still is a growth journey.
Think of something that you can associate with 2024. This can be a word, a symbol, art, a song, a book, a movie, a place, or even just all of these things. When you think about your goals and your journey, this is your theme. This is something that should relate to your goals or your dream girl somehow.
For me, I chose a word and a song. My word is growth because, for me, 2023 was a year for just being able to shed my old self which I did achieve however I just felt there wasn’t much growth as an actual person and not just in my environment.
For my song, it is Mayflowers by Proleters and Taskrok. This song is the epitome of what I would imagine, is the most polished mindset. I would say perfect, but having a perfect mindset is near impossible. I want to have a mindset glow up because I’ve just been hard on myself lately which has caused my confidence to plummet.
Before we get into the fun part of the preparation stage, we have to do some organisation in our life. I want you to take a look at your daily lifestyle and your habits, and be completely unashamed about this.
Then categorise these habits into two sections; Leave and Leap. Leave habits are habits that you are leaving behind in 2023, leap habits are habits that are leaping into 2024 with you.
Any habits that are self-destructive, addictive or generally harmful are leave habits. Beneficial habits and self-building are leaping with you into the new year.
I want you to do the same for people in your life, all environments (school, work, online etc) and anything else you believe needs to be sorted out.
This works better if you can reason with yourself why it is a leaping or leaving habit, but don’t try to convince yourself a bad habit is good or vice versa.
Now, I want you to document an honest paragraph about who you are right now. List your bad and good habits, your strengths and weaknesses and your behaviours. This one requires a bit more detail.
Then, write a paragraph about who you will be in 2024, your dream girl. List her habits, lifestyle, behaviours, mindset, strengths and anything else extra. I’ll explain later but do not include materialistic desires in this your dream girl. Once again, this one also requires details.
Stemming from those paragraphs, I want you to create specific and achievable goals. SMART goals are best, but I want to introduce you to how I set goals.
I divide my year into quarters. For each 3 months, I have 3-5 goals for those months. Usually, it’s one from each area of my life. Then, I break down these goals.
Questions and How They Help
Why do I want to do this goal - For motivation and commitment.
How it’ll benefit me - For the sake of improvement.
How can I involve myself in this goal - To achieve your goal.
I prefer this method because it is a lot simpler for me, as I am just a young girl and my bigger goals are more in the future in which I’ll utilise SMART goals.
To create good goals; Make sure they align with your current values and life principles first. Try to avoid creating goals that you have just taken from the internet. Those goals just aren’t it and you most likely won’t follow through with it.
Be specific. Don’t say you want to eat more healthily, instead say you want to include (a certain group of veggies/fruits) in your diet and reduce the intake of ( food/drink).
E.g using eating healthy example
I want to eat healthy -> I want to start including foods that boost my immunity system and support my skin while reducing those that have the opposite effect.
Then break down those quarterly goals into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make these habits that you can establish in your lifestyle and have a way in which you can refer back to your progress.
EXAMPLE GOAL BREAKDOWN
Quarterly Goal - Read 6 books.
Monthly Goal - Finish 2 books.
Weekly Goal - Be or near half way of one book.
Daily Goal - 20 minutes of reading per day.
AREAS TO SET GOALS IN YOUR LIFE
Academics
Spiritual
Fitness/sport
Health and wellbeing
Mental health
Personal life
Relationships
Hobbies and recreation
Now for the best part- vision boards! Collect all of your favourite images that embody your quarters or the whole year, then put them in one place where you can see them regularly!
Some ideas are a scrapbook, Pinterest boards, mood boards, playlists etc.
Choose your theme; It can be your healthy girl era, your academic come back or whatever you want. You can have more than two btw.
Use quotes! Then actually say them in your daily life as a way to shift your mindset to reflect said quote.
Include inspirational people. It doesn't even have to be a millionaire or a very well established person, it could be your friends or someone on the internet.
Be imaginative. Your vision board doesn't have to realistic in my opinion, as the whole point of it to me is that viewing it daily and considering it to be part of your life one day allows for you to open up to those opportunities.
Materialistic Wants
I feel obligated to make this a separate section. This section is practically tangible objects that you want.
However, when choosing this said object that you want, mindfully think about why you want that thing specifically.
It doesn’t have to be meaningful, but as long as each thing on that list has got a purpose to you, and will serve you, I think it’s all good!
Conclusion
If you want, you can definitely start implementing habits before January. However, I believe that as long as you go into 2024 at least knowing who you want to be and shedding away any limiting beliefs, you’ll be fine.
Make sure to incorporate some self care rituals into your daily life as well✨
To end this, I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas! And that 2024 they will achieve to close that gap with their current selves and their dream girl selves! 💖🙏
#that girl lifestyle#becoming her#becoming that girl#that girl#green juice girl#clean girl#pink pilates princess#pink pilates girl#pink pill#wonyoungism#new year#new me#reinvent yourself#im rebranding#resetting#self worth#self help#self reflection#self growth#self love#self care#self improvement#self development#inner peace#inner work#self reflecting
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Sweet Juice
Severus Snape x Alumni!reader.
NFSW! Basically (fluffy) smut with a massive plot. //! Incorrect use of Potions.
Severus is 30 years old in this fic, you are 23, minor age gap.
Summary: Ever since your youth, you were passionate about the art of Potions. Luckily, during your time at Hogwarts, you found a mentor in the strict and cold Professor Snape. Having made a habit of spending hours after class talking to him, all of this came to an abrupt end during your final year. Leaving you in a total mystery, with no answers. It was only years later that you took your revenge, in the hope of moving on. Not suspecting that it would bring you face to face with your deepest desires.
A/N: I admit I could have turned this into a multi-chapter fanfic, but I figured that would break the rhythm, so enjoy this long read! This fic is inspired by ‘Sweet Juice’ by Purple Kiss, go stream it for a better life! Trust me (;
Word count: 14k. (hehe)
"Ah- Miss Y/f/n, please accept this price. It is an honour to be able to reward young talents like yourself." The little cup was hurriedly placed in your hands.
"It is an honour to be awarded with this prestigious prize," You politely thanked the crowd.
Your eyes lingered on the name of the prize, ‘Research & Development, winner of the best potion of the year'. And without even realising it, your lips drew a somewhat smug smile. Standing upright, ready to have your photo done, to appear in the next edition of the Daily Prophet, with pride, you held the cup in your hands. In that busy room, you were the youngest. And yet, you are the one who has been praised for your achievements. Earning jealous glares from the potion makers, who coveted it as much as you did.
"Miss, can you tell us more about your potion, how did you get the idea?" You were asked, for what you guessed was now an actual interview.
"I wanted to be able to help the Wizards and Witches to unwind more easily, it is sometimes difficult to let go of work pressure and its boredom. That is why I decided to study Amortentia, and its derivations, in order to create a potion capable of releasing in us the hormones necessary to enjoy ourselves... Without the negative effects of the ancient Potions." You explained, in the simplest way possible to the journalists.
"So it's a potion that gets you aroused?" One adds.
You frowned, a little offended by this shortcut, "Yes, in theory, but it goes deeper than that. Otherwise, I wouldn't be rewarded today. But if you want to know, you have to taste it... All the reviews have been very positive." You commented, with a wink.
To summarise months, almost a whole year of research, is almost an insult to your work. Amortentia is one of the most dangerous potions. Studying it to the point of understanding its mechanism and removing the obsession it causes, was the greatest achievement of the process. The rest was just a series of experiments, an understanding of the human body and its hormones, and it was done.
The result was prodigious, it brought a sense of relaxation, without the risk of an eternal sleep like the Draught of Peace. Comfort and love, without the risk of being manipulated by an evil liquid. And then, depending on the quantity used, the effects could be more or less intense, but never dangerous. Quite remarkable, considering all the side effects that most Potions could provide.
You deserve your reward tonight for many reasons, no one else has been able to do it in the past.
“Have you always held an interest in the subject?" The interview proceeded, to have some content for the beloved magazine.
"Yes, since my school days at Hogwarts. I quickly found a vocation in the subject, expressing my talents at an early age.” You paused, before continuing, "But it would never have been possible without the support of my teacher and mentor, Severus Snape, who taught me everything. His talent is second to none, and next to it, I am nobody, even after tonight." You humbly added, with another smile.
At the end of this sentence, your eyes searched for a certain dark silhouette.
Unlike earlier, that smile was particularly forced on your lips. To say that he had supported you was a fine lie. While at first he was indeed ‘supporting’ you (more like a tolerating you), graciously accepting you to attend his prestigious private Potion club, the entirety of your last year was a failure.
In your first years, you never had to face his wrath and nasty comments, simply because he couldn't blame you for anything. Your work was perfect, from theory to application. But to him, you were nothing.
With time, and your growing skills, things changed. There was a time when you even assumed that an understanding had developed between the two of you, you were not friends, it was impossible with such a man, but it wasn’t nothing either. Eventually, the discussions after class or the club, sharing theories and experiences, became quite regular. Sometimes up to dinner hour, and even after curfew, the time went by so quickly in these periods, as neither of you paid attention, caught up in the interaction. After all, the discussions were very entertaining, between two Potions enthusiasts, and you gained a lot of knowledge from them.
Perhaps because you had succeeded to raise his esteem for you, Professor Snape, during class, would give you one of his infrequent compliments on your methods, or provide you with advice while experiencing in the club. Over time, you came to really treasure this exclusive ‘bond’, with such a cold and distant person. It would be a lie to say that in every class, your shared private discussions weren't the moment you were most looking forward to. You felt special.
You couldn't remember exactly when or how this routine started, it had developed naturally during the end of your fifth year and lasted all the way through to the sixth. However, you could remember bitterly how it had ended.
By the start of your final year at Hogwarts, a cold shoulder from Professor Snape had begun to creep between the two of you. He no longer commented on your work, or even dared to give you one of his rare compliments. It was simply as if you didn't even exist. This drastic change was particularly noticeable when you tried to revive another discussion after class, only to be rejected. 'I don't have time Miss Y/f/n', 'I've got too much work', 'Go, and revise', these were, obviously, bland excuses.
You had spent time thinking about it, trying to understand this radical change, but nothing could be found. The discussions had never overflowed on personal information, at least on his side, you - You had been more talkative. And again, nothing major, just simple information like your preferences in terms of flowers, cake flavours, and favourite literature. It never looked like it bothered him to listen to you, and yet strangely enough it seemed to interest him. But, in the end, most of the talk was about Potions, nothing odd that should have ended it all brutally.
In the course of your discussions, you had always expressed an interest in a career in the field, and Professor Snape had consequently supported you (in his own way) in this idea. In all honesty, having his approval really encouraged you. Until, once again, your senior year. While you had been able to get decent, if not perfect, results up to this point, the downfall continued when you saw your grades drop for unfair reasons. You had never witnessed his unfair grading, but when you became one of his victims, he was unforgiving towards your harmless mistakes. It was as if he was trying to ruin your future career as a potion maker.
All this unjustified hatred, discouraged you, but not to the point of giving up your aspiration, otherwise you wouldn't be standing there with the precious prize in your hands.
Was it some kind of revenge? Definitely.
Mentioning Severus in your ‘thank you speech’ was perfectly legitimate, he had given you more than anyone else in your life. But, even though you kept telling yourself that it was already 3 years ago and it belonged to the past, your heart was still broken, disappointed. And by his presence tonight, you were hoping to finally put an end to it all. Snape had witnessed your happiness, you had won, the revenge was completed. Time to move on.
However, it was easier to convince yourself than to apply it. It would be wrong to claim that you hadn't worked hard to impress him. Ever since that cold war between you two, no matter how strange it may seem, you couldn't get over it.
Sometimes, in your most private moments, you would close your eyes in the hope of being able to remember. The damp smell of the dungeons invading your nostrils, your teacher's deep voice echoing within the cold walls to your ears, praising you how well you had worked. His dark eyes focused on you, and only you. In fact, the intensity of his dark gaze could suffocate you, and yet you would not care. You desperately wanted to reclaim that relationship, as someone to whom he would give his precious time, where he would share his passions anew, a time when in his mind you existed and were important. And no matter how embarrassing it was, the idea of finding pleasure in these memories was enough to make your knickers wet.
At the time, you had convinced yourself that you were not holding any affection regarding your Professor… Another fine lie from you, obviously. It had taken a few years to come to this conclusion, to get out of the denial of this forbidden love. But now it was clear and explained a lot concerning your addiction and pain. The feeling of anticipation at the end of each lesson, the way you would pour your soul into the subject in the hope of receiving a ‘compliment’... Or simply the way you kept seeking for his attention, even after years. Nothing about this behaviour was appropriate, regardless how hard you tried to maintain the classic student-teacher relationship, on your own.
Perhaps Snape had even realised this, explaining the sudden cessation of your individual time together.
And even though, with hindsight, you should have felt guilty, you couldn't throw away that attachment. It was as if he had put a spell on you, that the lack of contact with him since you graduated from Hogwarts had reinforced that love.
But today was different, it was your revenge, your mourning over this period of your life.
The sound of the camera flashes snapped you out of your thoughts. The lights blinded your eyes for a moment, and you blinked frantically to regain your sight. Hoping that the pictures would look nice on the magazine...
"Well, congratulations Miss Y/f/n, we hope to see your Potion soon on the market amongst our merchants. I can’t wait to taste it, as you have suggested." The interview ended on this note, and the journalists dismissed themselves to make room for those who wished to thank you or congratulate you in person.
Thus, you were greeted with a new wave of questions, of praises, mostly it was older wizards and witches who were attending the event, and thus more 'experienced' than you in Potions. Their words tasted like hypocrisy, but you accepted everything with a polite smile. You actually enjoyed the attention, although deep down it was a particular Potions Master you were looking for, so it all went over your head. After a few moments you managed to escape from the conversation that had been built around the right to use the Felix Felixis at the Ministry's work, to get yourself a glass of alcohol from the buffet.
The taste of alcohol eased your nerves, rejoicing in the moment of calm you just gave yourself after all the attention you received. But the moment was short.
“Miss Y/f/n. How fortuitous to find you here." A voice commented sarcastically on your presence at the bar.
There was no need to look up at the person speaking to you because you already knew who he was. His deep voice was like a melody, a music composed by the finest musicians of this world. How, Merlin, you truly missed it…
“Professor Snape- Hum, or should I say Severus now that we are colleagues?” You answered him a little too smoothly for your taste, One drink and my anger is already forgotten? I need to get my act together!
“Snape will do, we are not direct colleagues. Let's keep some formality.” He replied somewhat distantly. Ouch- Years did not seem to have quieted the hatred he had against you.
You had not yet looked up to him, postponing the moment when you would be blessed with his physical presence. But you could see from the corner of your eye that he was pouring himself a shot glass of what seemed to be a fire whiskey.
"I must say that I am surprised that the award was given to you tonight... However, it would be wrong not to congratulate you." Severus began slowly, as if preventing himself from saying too much. “But…”
“But?” Your voice cut him off, a mixture of excitement and sheer joy at the thought of receiving praise from your dear Professor. This special praise you had been longing for.
"But-” He sighed as if you had annoyed him, “I object to the fact that my teachings have led you to produce such a grotesque Potion."
If your eyes had been glued to your glass since the beginning of the conversation fearing to feel butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Severus, you suddenly raised them, eyes wide with surprise. And in your stomach, anger. How dare he humiliate my work like that?
However, you were at a loss for words. He hadn't changed at all, he hadn't even made the effort to wear another suit for the event. He remained the same man as when you left him. Your eyes fell on his face, he had a neutral expression, as if his hurtful words were the most well-deserved ones. His eyes were on you, but because of the dim light and his dark pupils it was impossible for you to discern any judgement within. Otherwise, his hair was still the same length, falling gently over his shoulders, soft… His hooked nose made him look sterner than ever, and the crease between his over-frowned eyebrows did not seem to have increased.
He was still the same man, the one you were so fond of, and that made it more difficult.
But it was as if you two had evolved in two different time spaces. It had only been two years since you left Hogwarts, and it was certain that the occasional times you ran into a former classmate, they all had trouble recognising you. Obviously, you have grown in maturity through your work. You were no longer a young girl, you were a woman, a lady, with stature and respect. You were even certain that if your name wasn't mentioned at your prize-giving, Severus wouldn't have known who you are.
"A grotesque potion?” You took back his words, insulted, “You know perfectly well all the work that lies behind it. I explained it in a briefing for the association. You must have read it, right?" You tried to hide the irritation in your voice.
"I read it, of course. And although I must admit that it was all a tremendous amount of hard work... All these efforts, for such a clownish result, is disappointing."
You couldn't help but stare at him in disbelief. You were supposed to be the one to get your revenge tonight. And here you are, in the shoes of the student you used to be in your last year, being jeered for your hard work. His words were harsh, and perhaps because they came from your professor, they hurt you badly.
"The mere fact that I am the one who taught you everything is even more terrible." He added nonchalantly, bringing his glass to his lips.
You remained quiet, thinking of all the things you could say to him. After all, he was no longer your instructor, Severus no longer had superiority over you. What can he do now, if I snapped at him? Expel me from Hogwarts? Perhaps, it was the moment for you to confess everything that was weighing on your heart. How his coldness and distance had made you miserable.
"I thought it was only fair to thank you in my speech." You retorted, "But as far as I can see, you don't even want to be associated with me anymore, even as a mere tutor. Your hatred of me, I don't know where it comes from, but it's all unfair. This was supposed to be my special night. But now you've ruined it.” You hesitated before speaking again, “Like you’ve ruined my seventh year at Hogwarts."
Severus’ face remained as neutral as ever, but in his posture you felt a kind of irritation, he was caught off guard by your curt reply. Well, he must understand that I won't take his nastiness easily anymore.
However, you took no pleasure in giving him this answer. You had imagined many scenarios about your reunion... You had hoped that he would apologise, show that he felt sorry for having been cold to you, and in the more realistic scenario simply shake your hand, congratulate you and that was it. In no way, had you expected that he would remain so hostile.
A heavy silence fell between the two of you. His lack of response bothered you further, so you grabbed your glass and finished it straight down. "I'm going to get some air, if anyone is looking for me." Your voice was less angry, as your throat tightened dangerously, poised to burst into tears and it was slightly audible. It was a disaster.
You took your trophy with great care, the only thing that gave you comfort, and left without even bowing to Severus. You were never going to see him again in your life anyway.
The evening of the association for Potions makers of Great Britain (or simply those with an interest for the discipline), was held in the large manor house of the current Chairman. After escaping from the hall where the main event was taking place, you looked for a way out to the garden. Your heels clicked on the marble floor, echoing in the various empty corridors. The laughter and voices of the party began to fade with each step you took.
You were getting away from these jealous and condescending people and above all, from Severus. Good, you didn't feel like crying miserably in front of everyone. Your hopes were already destroyed, your ego wasn't going to be the next crime. After a moment, you spotted a windowed door leading to the backyard and quickly rushed to open it, taking a deep breath of air in desperation.
Stepping out completely, you were pleasantly surprised to discover the lovely atmosphere. The garden was well tended with bushes of various flowers and the grass was green and healthy, while lanterns lightened the path leading to the depths of the garden. You were caught up in the sense of peace and quiet that it gave you, feeling much more comfortable on your own.
It was summer, late August, school was beginning soon, work was about to restart and the merchants would soon be back in business. But it was already late, the moon was already high in the sky, almost full, and the stars shone brightly in the country sky away from London's city lights. The air was a bit fresh, but cold enough to get your mind back in order without freezing in your evening gown, which was quite revealing… But still elegant and pretty.
Venturing into the garden you finally found a bench to settle down on and think about what just happened, alone. Your eyes lifted to the magnificent starry sky before you, and its darkness made you think of Severus... The way his pupils were fixed on you, the image replayed in your mind... Over and over. You wanted to despise him for his behaviour, he had broken your heart! Not to feed your already distracted mind with lusty thoughts. Did he, at least, appreciate the sight of me in this dress? Your mind began to wander in a dangerous area, and you needed to stop right now.
Severus had been nothing but spiteful, he hadn't changed for sure, whether it was physically or mentally. And yet... You couldn't hate him in the slightest. It all seemed wrong on his part, as if he was forcing himself. Pushing you away.
You sighed, it was truly a disaster, you were frustrated with Severus, with yourself. Tonight was about revenge, moving on was the main mission and now you were fantasising all over again, like the flame of your love had been rekindled.
A tear rolled down your cheek from sheer frustration, disappointment in yourself. Then one tear broke into a silent cry. Were you doomed to love a man you will never see again, who is out of reach and seems to be loathing you? Put like this, it was as if you enjoyed suffering.
Now, you had no desire to return to the house with the other members, the possibility of running into Snape again and worsening your mental state, made you dread the prospect. Great, he had won and definitely broken your heart.
It was decided, you were going to stay there, with your trophy in your arms and with a bit of luck you will be able to leave unnoticed by floo powder. The plan seemed reasonable.
But fate seemed to have decided otherwise.
You jumped when you heard someone cough to get your attention. You were so deep in thought, your eyes fixed on the sky, that you didn't hear anyone approaching you. Your little moment of peace had been ruined, and you frowned as your eyes fell on the culprit. Severus’ brooding silhouette in the darkness of the garden lived up to his Hogwarts reputation as a bat.
You sniffed, "What are you doing here? Go away. You've already hurt me enough, there's no need to make it worse, I heard your nasty comments once already." In your pathetic state you asked Severus rather rudely to leave.
There was a small silence before it was broken by his voice, "Are you crying?"
You couldn't make out his face, so you concluded that he couldn't see yours either. You hesitated between telling the truth or lying before answering, “Why do you care…?” Your voice was weak, in no way hiding the truth.
“I asked you a question, Y/n” He persisted.
Hearing his voice pronounce your first name, as he used to do when you were in private conversation, made you weak in the knees, much more than you would have liked to acknowledge.
"I, hum... Yes." You replied, sobbing quietly. Resistance will only make things worse.
"It's a wonder you've managed to make a respectable place for yourself in the business, with such a weak mind." But unlike earlier his voice was gentler, firm, but gentle. "I've talked a bit with some of your fellow peers, people who have been around you for the past few years. Supporting you in carrying out your work… Believing in this project of yours.” He paused for another moment.
You didn't know what he was getting at, confusion all over your face. The people you had surrounded yourself with for work were not in attendance tonight. They were mostly former students just like yourself, who had attended the advanced Potions class. If they were absent tonight it is because in their research of Potions, unlike you, they had not managed to produce a viable solution.
In the darkness, you discerned him taking his place beside you on the bench. The warmth of his body spreading over your arm, allows you to evaluate how close you were to each other. And the answer was easy, very close. You could smell the light scent of his fragrance, a bit musky, the bare skin of your arm was grazing against the thick fabric of his frock coat, and it was a miracle that he was still able to breathe under all those layers in this warm weather. You noticed that it was the first time he was so close to you, usually he would keep his distance. His desk or the potions station had always been a well-respected barrier between the two of you. And thus, it made you a bit timid.
"Well, talking…” He spoke sarcastically to rectify himself, “I’ve exchanged letters with them. Checking on my former students, those you are working with now. Ensuring that everything was going well for you." He emphasised the last part of his sentence.
And Severus doesn't need to amplify his words, for you to understand what he was implying secretly.
Severus had checked on you, taking news through his letters over the past two years.
Each of his words hit you straight in the heart, making it pound faster each time. You thanked Merlin for the obscurity, because between your tears that must have drenched your makeup and the crimson spreading over your cheeks, the sight must be pretty dramatic.
"Why didn't you send an owl directly to me?" Your voice was still weak, but your tears had ceased. You ran your delicate hand over your cheeks to remove the remaining tears.
You heard Severus sigh quietly at your question. It took him a while to answer, as if he was tortured to answer honestly or lying, hesitating in the same way you did a few moments ago with his question. “It’s complicated.” Severus opted to be vague, "In any case, I've got nothing but praise for your work or even your person... They like you just the same as they did back at Hogwarts."
You didn't know if your mind was playing tricks on you by wanting to romanticise everything, but in his voice there was a faint hint of nostalgia. Severus' note brought a smile to your lips, "I'm glad to hear that, I appreciate them as well. At least they're not hypocrites like everyone else tonight..." Your honesty seemed to catch what sounded like a quiet chuckle from your former Professor.
"I must grant you, Y/n... That my words were harsh against you." Severus' voice regained its usual firm tone, "But I must confess, that such a potion, with such utility, surprises me coming from you."
That was what you guessed, his form of apology, and you accepted the way it was. "It is true that in my youth I never showed any interest in Healing Potions. What interested me the most were Poisons... But Amortentia is a poison like any other, in its own way, and research can lead us to expand our minds, can't they?” The fact that Severus knew perfectly your preferences in the area, made it easier to explain. "And then, with hindsight, I'm proud that my invention helps people, rather than killing them."
Severus nodded quietly, indicating that he fully understood the meaning of your words, as you had hoped he would. He seemed to remember all the information you had told him about yourself three years ago. That made you more than happy.
“‘Sweet juice’, that's how you named it?” He spoke with sarcasm, gently mocking.
It was your turn to sweetly chuckle, “No! I had originally named it 'Aquae dulcis', from the Latin ‘peaceful liquid’... But for the promotion, I was advised to change the name to a more sales-oriented one, which would fit better with my image as a lady.”
"I was wondering why the name doesn't match you… I've got my answer." He sounded somewhat relieved, "Many people have mentioned the taste." Severus sounded less reticent over your Potion, it was even if he was aware of the feedbacks that were provided in order to boost the pre-sales.
"Ah- yes, the taste... That's what gives the potion its reputation for being arousing." You sighed a little embarrassed to talk about this with him, “Unlike many Potions, with a disgusting taste… Mine is sweet. The liquid drips slowly down the throat, the taste hooked up everyone wishing to take it. The feeling is strange to describe, and actually I can’t… Like a flame, it all burns, it all gets on, the throat-burning sensation is taboo.” You added the last part of your sentence in a whisper due to the embarrassing nature of your language. It sounded sexual, you must admit.
Again there was silence and you wished you hadn't said what you revealed about this special taste, fearing that you had gone too far and brought your former teacher into equal discomfort.
But he answered with an unexpected thought, “I’m curious about the experience.” You caught your breath surprised, not even realising that you had stopped for a moment out of fear, "No potions so far have managed to ease my nerves. The Draught of Peace made me feel like I was too tired to continue working properly, so I stopped years ago. And if there's one time when I'm extremely irritable, it's at work, or when I'm grading papers… Especially when I grade the papers.” It was as if Severus was 'justifying' himself for wishing to try it. But deep down, some peace would only do him good.
"Only a few drops then, otherwise you'll regret the tiredness you got from the Draught of Peace when you'll feel aroused during your teaching." Even yourself was surprised by the bold words you used.
Thankfully Severus took less time to answer than last time, "Of course. I'll be careful. I'll give you a personal feedback on my impressions over the next few days following the start of term."
"Send the owl directly to me this time, it would be unfortunate if anyone found out you had an 'uncomfortable issue' because of my Potion." You laughed softly, clearly more comfortable around him. You were both adults now, fellow colleagues in the Potions discipline, you have the right to tease him about the unwanted side effects.
Well, unwanted for Severus’ case. You knew that many were looking forward to taking bigger doses... Precisely to get horny.
“I will Y/n,” He answered in a tone that seemed to be almost as amused.
“So… You want it, you want some Sweet Juice?” You ask him, hardly believing that you were asking Severus Snape, your cold former professor, if he wanted a stash of your own (arousing) Potion.
"If you don't mind, as it will only be sold on the mid-September market, if I understand correctly. I will, of course, pay for anything you may want to send me." He firmly says,
You shook your head sharply, "Absolutely not, I'll send you these for free as a thank-you. And before school starts, so everything will be ready for you to face those annoying and incompetent first years."
Severus sighs, a mixture of exasperation and relief. Exasperation because you were strict about him not paying you for anything, relief at the idea of finally having a solution to calm his tense nerves. “Stubborn as ever, I see. You may have changed physically, mentally you’re still the same.”
His little statement had the power to make your cheeks even more flushed. So he noticed that I had changed… That I’m now a lady. “Thank you, I guess?” You had no idea how to reply to that.
"That's a compliment.” He clarified for you, “You are, indeed, now… Excuse my choice of words- a pretty woman. But besides your appearance, you are blossoming in what you always dreamed of, with a remarkable career start. It's a good thing you've kept parts of yourself intact, fame must not go to your head. But you are a reasonable lady, I know everything will be fine." It was Severus' turn to be a bit awkward with his words.
His compliment went straight to your heart and seemed to soothe all the pain you had felt over the last few years. However, in his tone, Severus sounded as if he wanted to keep his words strictly formal, as he had always done even in your deepest discussions in the past.
"Thank you Severu- Hm, Snape.” You hated how easy it was for you to say his first name, when he had just corrected you a few moments before. However, he didn't correct you this time, letting that minor error slide.
You indulged in the peaceful silence that settled between the two of you. The way the conversation had progressed was comparable to the ones you had in the past, if not more comfortable. Two enthusiasts discussing about their favourite subject, trying to understand each other's opinion with respect and interest. Obviously, a formal one, Severus always maintains his distance from you, as if he was always your Professor and couldn't afford to be more. Your hopes were not high on a potential romance with Severus, he was older, your former teacher, mysterious… In the end you know nothing about the man and his job was keeping him busy all year long. However, a friend would be a good start… A rather affordable hope.
In the end, when Severus opted not to act cold, it was as if there hadn't been a rupture in your relationship. The chemistry had returned back in a flash. It made you bitterly regret those three lost years... Besides, you still had no idea of the exact nature of his past harsh attitude. Maybe even tonight was just an exception and the question will never be answered.
However, if Severus ever decided, as he had suggested with his impressions, to exchange letters, perhaps with time you would find the courage to ask him. Now, it would be a bad idea and would ruin the calm atmosphere.
"Maybe it's time to get back to the party..." Severus offered, his voice not exactly enthusiastic about joining the festivities again as well, "The others will wonder when they notice our absence."
“Right, It would be unfortunate if they started to wonder about our connection..." You laughed lightly, mocking his constant worry about being paired with you. Severus huffed, outraged.
He stood up, and in the half-light you saw him offering his arm to you, like a gentleman. You took it without hesitation, linking yours to his.
"It's been pleasing tonight…” You spoke quietly, as Severus escorted you back into the manor.
He inhaled shakily before answering, "Yes, I agree. And hearing from you, - personally - is always preferable. I hope this will last in your future letters."
You smiled at his words, "Obviously, Severus." There was a deep fondness evident in your voice. This time you couldn't help it, saying his first name felt right, and he didn't correct you either.
-
The October leaves had just fallen, the soft light with its morning rays of sunshine was reaching into your office. The scenery was quiet, peaceful even. And even though you had no reason to be in your office this early, you were waiting for a special occurrence.
Sweet Juice' had been on the market for almost a month, at various shops in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley, and sales were more than encouraging. In fact, it was a real success. Some minor stock-outs caused even a panic among the sellers when they couldn't satisfy their demanding customers. Everyone was talking about the benefits of your Potion, and how it changed their life.
The money you received was considerable, allowing you to take a break. After two years of hard work, you deserved it. And a new solution cannot be invented that easily anyway. So your days were pretty uneventful, sometimes you were occupied with checking in with the producer, the one you had trusted enough to share the secrets of your mixture, and the sales. Otherwise, most of your days were spent taking care of yourself, enjoying life and, above all, waiting for Severus' letters.
Currently in your hands, the last letter you received, already dated from the previous week. The other letters, which numbered five, were neatly folded and kept in the first drawer of your desk. Severus' handwriting was as elegant and delicate as ever, and you took great comfort in receiving them. The content was kept formal, but somewhat ‘casual’ or ‘friendly’. Which was a good development.
The letters were quite brief and mostly structured the same way. Severus would write about his thoughts on Potions, then about his days at Hogwarts, and finally he would reply directly to the contents of the letter he had just received, making his comments on your daily life.
In each of his answers, you could tell that he was making the effort to maintain the relationship despite the distance. When the first correspondence started, you were quite surprised to see his owl on your windowsill within less than a week. You were pleasantly surprised, expecting to receive a response within a relatively long delay. To be honest, you weren't expecting this much from him, because you know how occupied he is.
Your eyes lingered on the contents of the one you held in your hands.
Dear Y/n,
Thank you for the new batch of Potions you have sent me.
I would like to use it sparingly, addiction would be regrettable. So I take precautions, even though the peaceful effect it brings me is always efficient. Being able to sleep properly is, I must confess, a luxury I had not enjoyed until recently. And it's all thanks to you.
I would say my days at Hogwarts are bearable. Work is draining, as always.
I hadn’t found a moment to read the book you recommended. I will try to make up for it before my next answer.
However, I am glad to hear that you are taking the time to have a break. Don't worry if the days can be boring, and you miss work, you need it. Do not become like me, please.
Yours faithfully,
Severus Snape,
You had lost count, you must have read the contents of the letter ten times already. In fact, every letter you received from Severus was read more than once. It was a forbidden pleasure, but seeing his words specifically directed at you, gives you butterflies in your insides.
But, you put your mind at rest with the fact that they were just letters and nothing more. It was less severe than when you were seeing him daily, in your student days. It was impossible for Severus to even guess the depth of your feelings towards him, when the only contact the two of you had was a piece of paper and a few words. You weren't likely to offend him or make him feel uneasy with your feelings towards him. So you were living your affection for this man to the fullest in the privacy of your own home.
Leaning back in your desk chair, while your mind wandered over Hogwarts’ dungeon bat, you heard a tiny clatter against your window. Looking up, a sweet smile came to your lips. Your hands folded the current letter you were reading, folding it carefully and storing it away before standing up to retrieve the new one you had been expecting.
Severus' owl was just like him, black plumage, piercing eyes. The only thing they did not have in common was their sweetness. When you opened your window, you were immediately greeted by a warm hooting.
“Hey, I hope the journey wasn't too long.” Your voice was almost too mellow for just an owl, and your hand gently stroked the top of its head as you greeted back. With a smile, you carefully untied the letter from its grasp. Once done, you put the envelope on your desk and collected grains to feed the owl. The owl pecked into the palm of your hand, now used to this small ritual. A hoot of gratitude indicated that the mission was accomplished.
"Return safely to Hogwarts." With a last small pat, you gazed at the black owl as it flew off into the distance, back to its owner.
Returning to your desk, you opened the envelope carefully and unfolded it. You were surprised to see that the content was longer than usual, twice as long. You didn't remember that your previous answer was that interesting to deserve such a detailed reply... Thus, you hurried to read it.
Dear Y/n,
I fear I haven't kept my promise.
I think I underestimated the side effects of your Potion, and this past week I've ‘suffered’ the consequences. A few drops was the dose I set myself to respect every night before going to bed, following your advice and the instructions for its use. Alas, after a particularly difficult day, I wanted to experiment with a higher dosage. I don't need to tell you in detail what it did to me, I think you've already guessed…
But I must, at least, keep our initial agreement, so if you don't object I will give you a report on this new experience. For the sake of the profession.
The usual few drops prevented me from being able to experience in its fullest, the unique taste of the potion's effects. And I must say congratulations, never in my life have I tasted anything so sweet. The description you gave me a few months ago has stayed in my mind since, and I must say that you were right, nothing can describe how it feels. Heaven? Maybe. On that night, I reached heaven.
I was starving, I was out of control (or so I thought). I was almost unable to bear it, and then, it was time to awaken the sleeping madness in me...
The hardest part is, I can't blame the Potion. It's almost cruel, but as you said, unlike with Amortentia, I had full power over my body, I wasn't intoxicated or bewitched. I succumbed to my impulses on my own. And… It feels good.
This followed, of my own accord, a kind of addiction. The nights prior to this uneventful ‘accident’ I made a habit of taking these larger doses, for my own pleasure… Thus, I would conclude the entire experience to be more than enjoyable.
In the future, I will try to find a balance to avoid abusing what is more than good. For the time being, I'm still enjoying myself.
However, even if your potion is a miracle, it does not take away all the work I need to complete.
And I must say, a thought came to my mind. In fact, Dumbledore was the one who suggested it to me years ago. And even if I was reluctant to the idea at first... The prospect feels less unpleasant if you are the one taking on this duty.
Not wishing to interfere with your precious break, would you like to be my occasional assistant?
You have the right to refuse, I wouldn't blame you.
If the answer is positive, the first period I would wish to ask for your help would be mid-November, before the first exams. And that's for a few weeks, maybe for two, more or less.
Naturally, you'll be welcomed at Hogwarts with all the necessities, a private chamber and a paycheck. But I'll give you the details in due time.
In any case, I will respect your decision and will look forward to receiving your answer, as I always do.
Yours faithfully,
Severus Snape,
PS: I trust you to keep this information confidential.
Your eyes frantically scan the contents of the letter, there is a lot to take in. Your cheeks were flushed, your heart was pounding, the first major piece of information was that Severus was using your potion for his own sexual needs. And while you detected some reserve in his wording, he had admitted it without shame in that letter. You would never have thought Severus capable of speaking in such a way (at least, towards you), even if his words were formal, they were nonetheless heavy with meaning and bold.
You couldn't help it, your mind perfectly pictured Severus. At night, alone, under the pleasurable effect of the Potion. In your fantasy, his face was focused, his eyebrows a bit furrowed, some sweat rolling down his forehead because of the heat. A few strands of his hair would fall into his eyes, but his attention was so focused on the intense pleasure he was experiencing that he couldn't care less. Was he the type to moan? Or to remain silent? Or… Maybe the cravings were so powerful that he would bite his lip to keep quiet.
At first, his hands would temptingly wander down his body, slowly, carefully, intoxicated by the rising pleasure. Touching himself was a pleasant torture, and as he said himself in the letter, he was unable to stop. Knowing how the potion would affect his senses, his skin must feel sensitive, leaving burning trails with every brush of his fingers over every inch of his skin, over all erogenous parts of his body, making him lose his mind.
The way Severus’ hands would desperately clutched his already erected manhood, dripping precum with impatience, hoping to reach an orgasm, maybe even one or several. Seeking frantically for friction to satiate his craving, his hips bucked, his hand tightening to increase the contact pressure. The sight must be sumptuous.
You wondered, for a moment, about the thoughts Severus might have to stimulate his mind. Was the Potion working enough to turn him on? Or was he seeking greater satisfaction with some dirty images? This left you with a real question. And you realised that even after all this time, you knew many things about him, but not at all in such an intimate setting. Which made sense, since most of the time you were his student... The first glimpse you had of this point was the letter.
And, you're the only one who knows his nightly routine. He trusted you, beyond the fact that you were the creator of the Potion who helped him satisfy his lusts. The mere idea to be in the confidence of this secret, made your knickers wet.
And even though it was already a lot to process, this was not the only exciting news. Severus asked you, himself, to be his assistant. He even suggested it, because the idea of working with you sounded appealing. You. Of all people, he thought about you.
You didn't question it, it was decided the moment the information reached your brain. You were going to accept. And how could you turn down the offer when the mysterious and reserved Severus Snape admitted on his own, that he was eagerly expecting your letters…
After years of longing to feel that special feeling again, in one letter Severus had given you a lot.
-
Returning to Hogwarts was a hope you never thought imaginable. However, a week ago you arrived with a suitcase packed, ready to work. The stone corridors, the moving stairs and even the staff had remained the same. The only change was that instead of sitting at your house table for dinner, you were now placed between Flitwick and Snape. And of course, that most of your time was spent in the dark, damp dungeons of the School brewing Potions, or grading papers.
Unlike what many might think, working alongside Severus was much more manageable than they might have thought. In any case, with you, he trusted your work enough not to question it. In fact, when you arrived, you were quite worried when you saw the dark circles under his eyes, which were more prominent than you used to remember. And when you became his assistant, you understood why. Severus was a perfectionist, and his teaching methods were all tailored to ensure the success of his students. So your tasks were simple, like preparing the exams, the basics for the Potions that were going to be taught, correcting papers, arranging the ingredients... And while you were just assisting him, within a few days he had managed to find more rest. Something that made you feel better.
Apart from that, the working conditions were quiet and calm. Severus was conversing with you during the simplest of tasks, he didn't seem as tight as usual (in private, at least), what you guessed were the effects of your Potion. At times, it was simply work performed in a comfortable silence. But between you, there was no longer any sign of discomfort or coldness. It was as if it had never happened, actually.
Well, until today.
"I wonder..." Severus began his sentence thoughtfully, his eyes focused on the cauldron in front of him, his hands busy chopping up ingredients, "How I used to find time to work and talk to you, back then."
You had a similar task, but unlike him you looked up in surprise. Severus rarely mentioned the past between you, or even the letters you had exchanged the past month. "I don't know either... That's why you stopped in my seventh grade, right?"
You didn't particularly want to mention the subject that had become nearly forbidden with time, namely your cold war. But you felt that under the current circumstances, you were old and mature enough to take it on yourself. Even though you might never get any solid answers about his past behaviour.
“Y/n, we both know that’s not the truth.”
Your eyes were still fixed on him, and you didn't know if Severus was too focused on his Potion to realise the implication of his words, or if he really wanted to discuss the issue once and for all. But you weren't going to miss your chance, trying to summon all your courage. "Oh- Really? Those are the excuses you gave me, would you like to tell me the truth then?" You answered casually, trying to play it cool despite your racing heart. Years of seeking the answer, it was as if what haunted you most was finally going to be removed.
However, the answer did not come as easily as the conversation had started, Severus stopped in his tracks and raised his head to you. His expression was hesitant, or perplexed, you didn't really know. "It was best for us to stop there, that's the real reason." He replies vaguely, his eyes fixed on your face where you stand across the Potion station.
You frowned, you were an adult now, you could handle and accept the truth. Severus, on the other hand, was being vague, as if putting a finger on what had happened was forbidden. "Are you implying that in our professional discussions, we were going down the wrong path?" You didn't want to tempt him, but getting the truth out of Severus' mouth was more complicated than you expected.
"Our discussions were nothing professional." He sounded a bit irritated with himself, indeed, the subject was sensitive on both sides. He put a lid on his Potion and dried his hands with a cloth, "We're done for the day, you can leave me." He waved you off, putting an end to the conversation.
But you stayed in your place, it was as if your feet were frozen to the ground, you couldn't leave. "You are the one who started the conversation. Don't be angry with me." Your voice was quite composed, you weren't afraid to face him. And just like at the event, he seemed stunned by your tone of voice.
You put the tools down and placed a lid on the Potion in the same way he had just done. "You cannot cut off the discussion and asked me to leave, Severus. You don't know how I've suffered my entire last year because of this, because of you. You can at least look me in the eye and give me a proper answer.” You sighed, as he tried to keep his eyes from looking at you. Perhaps because of guilt.
"Severus, we can sort this out, and go back to the way things were. But I need an answer, to move on. To be free of this guilt. Did I do something wrong? Was I bothering you so much? Tell me…" You hated how your voice was almost begging. But with every word you said, you could feel it, it was like he was re-building that distance between you. You didn't want to lose him, not that quickly.
"Severus... Please." You finally decided to move, taking a step towards him, the atmosphere in the classroom had totally changed. But even if the tension was heavy, you weren't going to abandon him, not this time. He did not move as you approached him, however, his face was tense. You hadn't seen him this cold in a while.
"I can't answer you. Things wouldn't be the same after that.” His voice was harsh, but not offensive. He sounded frustrated with himself, “But… If you want an answer, I must admit I'm not sufficiently secure to reveal my past intentions."
His words were odd, leaving you confused. The enigma that was Severus Snape was impossible to understand no matter how much time you were spending by his side. Can he give me an answer or not?
Several times your mouth opened in an attempt to answer, but nothing came to your mind. The problem seemed to be stuck. It left you upset. "I... I want an answer." Your words were both hesitant and confident, the statement was, frankly, a bit silly.
This seemed to amuse Severus, who laughed silently in mockery, warming the atmosphere. “Why are you so…” He paused for a moment as if hesitating, then at last he gave in, "Endearing?”
His words slammed into your heart, leaving you baffled. But you didn't have time to answer, Severus resumed speaking just as soon, "But, if I can manage to calm myself, maybe I'll be able to talk to you. Does that please you, Y/n?"
You hesitated, understanding what Severus was implying behind those words, 'relaxing' meant taking a few drops of Sweet Juice. And as much as you wanted to keep a respectful image of Severus, the last words written in his letter about its use stayed in the back of your mind. But, how can I refuse?
"Fine.” You agreed, nodding slowly.
Severus seemed somewhat reassured by your agreement, the walls he was starting to build around himself to push you away, were falling down again. It was his turn to approach you, offering his arm. A habit he'd adopted with every walk you shared at Hogwarts. You took his arm, the gesture had become natural, Severus added, "Follow me."
With that, you walked after him. Severus led you, in the utmost silence. Your heart was pounding, you didn't know exactly what to expect. The path he was taking, staying in the dungeons of the school, made you realise that he was inviting you into his personal quarters, which did not help your state of mind. Every step you made, was a step towards the possible truth.
Your recent exchange had been unclear, Severus was just as confused by his attitude as you were, you could tell with the look on his face. Torture between two separate decisions: to hate you back or accept what was happening between you two.
Still in silence, Severus finally arrived, unlocked the door to his quarters and let you in first. It was the first time you had entered, and the surroundings seemed oddly familiar. Everything reflected Severus, with its dark tones and simple, yet elegant furnishings. Your eyes rest on the many books, all meticulously arranged, and then, a little farther away, on the bed. It was impossible to miss the three vials filled with the purple liquid that you had conceived yourself, one of them was nearly empty. The sight of Sweet Juice beside his bed only made your heart flutter, as if it was confirmation that everything he had described to you was, indeed, true.
"Well, sit on the sofa. I'm coming up with what's needed." Severus breaks the silence as he removes his cloak, stopping your dirty thoughts dead in their tracks.
"Yes, of course." You nodded, quite flustered, and you did what you were asked as you sat down on the couch, next to the fireplace and the bookcases. Your eyes followed Severus' actions as he made his way to his bed, lighting the fireplace with his wand as he passed.
He came back with a new bottle of Sweet Juice in his hands, and sat without discomfort at your side. "Do you use it daily as well?" He asked you, an undeniable curiosity in his voice.
"Um... No, I just tested it on myself a while ago before I submitted the notice. I have no use for it." You looked at him blankly, you didn't know what Severus was trying to find out with his question, "So, it was only for professional purposes." You added rather quickly, in case he wondered if you too were finding sexual satisfaction through its use.
"Well, this will be the occasion to taste it again then." His hands opened the bottle carefully, and with some skill showing how familiar he was with its use.
You looked at him, confused by his words, "I don't intend to take it, you said you were the one who needed it to speak honestly."
"I think it's wiser for you to take it, to learn the truth. I don't want you to get mad at me." He replied with his calm voice, "Don't you trust me?" He raised an eyebrow with his usual expertise in the motion.
Of course you trusted him, the question didn't have to be asked. And right now, with all the tension in your body from the pressure of the whole situation, you had to agree. He was right, it was wiser if the both of you were in the same state to discuss. "Fine, but only a few drops..."
Severus nodded, "A few drops will be more than enough."
You reached for the vial, but Severus placed his hand on your chin before you could get your hands on it, and directed your face in his direction. “Open your mouth, please Y/n.”
His eyes were fixed on you, you felt like melting under his gaze, so intense was it. You couldn't ignore the intimate intensity of the situation, your cheeks were starting to burn. The scenario was far more pleasant than anything you could have imagined in your dirtiest dreams.
Without even adding anything, you parted your lips for him. Severus seemed satisfied with your willingness, and put the eyedropper to let a few drops fall from it. A promise he kept. And even though it was only a few drops, the taste burned in your throat, taking effect as soon as it was swallowed. It was addictive, sweet… Divine. A tickling sensation settled in your body, you felt perfectly fine, as if your body had never felt any tension.
Severus watched your every reaction, his hand still on your chin, you felt like your skin was burning under his fingers, "Well. You seem to be reacting well."
He withdrew his hand and this gesture left you with a feeling of need. Your eyes never left him for a second as you watched him perform the same operation with himself. His previously tense face, softened in an instant. To have Severus so effortlessly relaxed was quite an exclusive sight. He trusted you enough to be so vulnerable without shame, in front of you. It made you smile.
"Y/n, I've been intending to talk to you about this for a while, it weighs on me just as much. I'm sorry for the way I acted," Severus began quietly.
Hearing him apologise was strange, he was such a proud man. It made you happy, because while he was under the effect of the potion, he was still aware of what he was doing or saying. He was not controlled by the Potion, in front of you there was a sincere and apologetic Severus. One of the many facets you were starting to find out about this very mysterious man.
"I apologise as well, I wasn't always straightforward." You matched his gentle tone,
Severus shook his head, "You were not the problem, I handled the situation very poorly. It's all my fault, I hurt you." He put his hand over his face, ashamed, "When, in fact, that's all I wanted to avoid... It haunted me, until I saw you again a few months ago. I wanted redemption, to make sure you were fine without me... But, I’m selfish as I am taking a role in your life again,” He sighed hopelessly, “There's still this guilt in me.”
Hearing Severus speak with such regret, made your heart grow fonder for the man, you couldn't fault him. He had suffered the same pain from his choices, he acted in order not to lose his teaching position, in order to not deprive you of a possible 'happy' life. And even if the Potion worked miracles, guilt and pain couldn't be erased. You wanted to reassure him, to remove this pain from him, to leave it in the past. "Severus, I only wish to understand what I did wrong..." You whispered, your eyes focused on the buttons that fastened his cutaway coat.
The more minutes passed, the more the Potion worked through your body. The sensation was odd, like a kind of ache, but it was unmistakably delightful. This only served to reinforce your self-consciousness about the situation, your body tickled everywhere, straining, trembling, longing to be close to him.
"You have done nothing wrong... As the days went by, my regard for you changed. Your radiant smile, the way your eyes brighten at my every word, the way your perfume intoxicates me when it stays in the classroom, your delicate hands working with agility... All of this, I should never have noticed, and yet, I couldn't help but feel captivated. Charmed because of what you were, and still are, in fact."
He slowly pulled his hand away from his face. But, you didn't want to leave him in his demise, so you laid your hand on his as he lowered it, encouraging him to continue. "I wasn't blind, I knew the feeling you held for me. I believed it was for the benefit of the both of us. But after rejecting you, I was terribly missing you. Inside me, it built up a terrible guilt…” He paused for a moment before concluding, “And without realising it, I was feeling the same way about you."
Severus gently takes your hand in his, as if you were a delicate flower, or would disappear at any moment. His gaze is now focussed on both your joined hands, "Since, I haven't stopped thinking about you, night and day. Seeing you again... Was a breath of hope, I thought impossible. And even though you sounded different, like you were angry with me, I couldn't help but appreciate you. I soon realised that despite all my efforts, pushing you away a second time was beyond me... Beyond my strength."
He intertwined his fingers with yours, "You can hate me, yell at me. I hurt you and yet, selfishly you're here with me, instead of enjoying what life has to give you. I’m older, grim, and stern. I don't deserve you."
As he confessed, what you were focused on, was the heavy pounding of your heart ringing in your ears. The intensity of his emotions was heartbreaking, as you listened to him.
Your body's reaction to his was overwhelming, everything seemed like a raging fire that neither of you wanted to quench. The sensation of his own skin against yours only made it burn harder, leaving you with an insatiable urge of need and want. Your body knew what it wanted, the heat started to build up in the lower part of your stomach.
"I- Severus… I'm sorry that I was angry with you, when you were trying to do the right thing. I had no idea how you might be feeling on your own. But today, everything has changed, I’m not your student anymore.” You spoke with all the determination you could muster to prove him wrong, “And I don't care what life has to offer, if you are older. I know what I want. And it’s you.”
“It's only been a few weeks since I've been back with you, and I've never felt so happy. I feel alive.” Your cheeks flushed hot at your blunt words, “And to be honest, the club, the award, Sweet Juice, I did it all, to get your attention. I wanted to be special to you again."
"Come," Severus uttered in a deep, rumbling voice. His hand, the one that was already holding you, pulled you towards him, and his other hand guided your hips as he gently settled you on his lap, straddling him. The way your body easily accepted his request, was a reflection of how much you wanted to be with him, to be close to him.
"I wanted to move on, to forget you, but it was impossible. But nowadays, as I am closer to you..." Your eyes fell on his face, Severus seemed to be listening to you with such intensity, that coupled with this sudden intimacy caused you to speak in a shaky breath, "I burn and my body is feeling new things, and the intensity is only growing, nearly out of control. I can't think anymore, you're always on my mind…- I just want to be close to you, like I've always hoped." Your voice died down near the end, admitting your deepest thoughts. You were nervous, the aching sensation started to get on your nerves, overflowing with desire for the man in front of you.
His hands gripped your clothes, as if to remind you that he was indeed there, by your side. You were taken aback by the violent wave of emotions that flashed through his eyes. Severus had said nothing after your own confession, but there was no need for him to speak in order for you to understand. His eyes were speaking for him. Need, lust, desperation, want, longing- And most strikingly, love. His hands clasped your face, leaving you no choice but to lock your eyes with his. You couldn't escape the impact of his emotions, of the intense waves crashing over you nearly suffocating you. And the truth is, you had no desire to avoid him.
It was as if time had stopped, his beautiful face, his lovely hands, the wildness in his eyes, and the way he made you feel was beyond description.
"I love you," He exhaled as his thumb stroked your cheek. It felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest,
Your fingers found his shoulders, pressing into the soft fabric of his coat, “I love you as well,” You answered, the same weight disappearing from your heart.
The affirmation of your feelings towards him seemed to ignite something new in Severus. His thumb went down to your lips, running it over them, "You know, I thought about you as my assistant not only because you're the smartest, most diligent and serious person I know to handle the task perfectly," He spoke in a low grumble that made your whole body quiver, "But also because every night as I took a stronger dose of that delicious elixir you conceived, I always find myself thinking about you. I found satisfaction only when I thought of you.”
He sighs, "I must admit that if you're here, it's also because I couldn't bear to keep all this to myself, I had to confess. I wanted to see you again, terribly."
“I’m here Severus, I’m here for you and only you.” You replied hurriedly in order to reassure him.
He took a deep breath, your words seemed to have reached his heart, "Maybe it's a bit premature, but I should ask you."
It sent a ripple of delight through your entire body, increasing the desperation you had to be against him, “What do you want to ask me, Severus?”
Your question, perhaps somewhat naive given the situation, brought a smile to his lips, “Would you like to make love with me?” The question was phrased extremely graciously, contrasting dramatically with the ferocity of his eyes.
Your body shivered under his powerful stare. Your reply was obvious, and yet in the warmth of his body, in the puddle of intensity that Severus was bathing you in, you were at a loss for words. He looked at you like a hunter ready to chase down his prey, your consent was all he needed for him to pounce on you. It should have worried you, but behind his raging stare were years of self-restraint and pain. You felt more than special, being loved by such a cold and distant man made you feel like you were the only one in this wide world, the one and only for him.
You couldn't make him wait any longer, it was torture for him as much as it was for you. So you nodded, silently at first, then you found the courage to finally voice your need, "Yes, Severus, I do."
He smiled again, it was a delightful sight to see Severus smiling, and you took a moment to observe him as if to commit the image to memory. It was so infrequent, that you were pleased to know that you were the only one to be blessed by it. He was perfect, you could do nothing but kiss him. Passionately, freely, desperately. There was nothing anymore to stop you from doing it. You tasted him, setting all your senses on fire. You licked the inside of his mouth, as his tongue linked with yours in an intoxicating dance that only the both of you seemed to know. The scent and taste of him captured all your senses, and you couldn't stop humming with delight as it resonated through your chest from the pleasure of kissing him.
In that first kiss, you feel it all.
Both of his hands clasped your face tightly to keep you close to him as your hands trailed through his long hair, down to his neck. The warmth that radiated from him made your flesh flush, your heart pounding so hard in your chest that even Severus should be able to feel it. He tasted like heaven.
He skillfully guides you, allowing you to get lost in his adoration. One hand gently grasped your throat, while his other hand travelled from your cheek over your neck, down to your waist where his arm snaked around to press your body against his in a secure embrace.
Severus didn't break the kiss, as he stood up, carrying you in his arms. Your eyes were closed, allowing you to get completely absorbed in the feverish kiss, but you knew he was heading for his bed. The next moment, your body found its place against the soft fabric of his sheets, enveloping you once again in his wonderful manly scent. Wrecking you, in the most pleasing ways possible.
You moaned into his mouth as your fingers tugged his hair a bit tighter, Severus growled at your action, searing your whole being from you body to your soul. You were desperate for more, to see him, to touch him, to feel him. Your clothes were simply a suffocating barrier that separated you from Severus. Your irritation didn't seem to escape Severus as he broke off the feverish kiss you two were sharing.
You finally opened your eyes, to be greeted by a dishevelled and flushed Severus. You were both out of breath, panting. However, he was quick to lay another kiss on the exposed skin of your throat. Sweetly, lovingly, small kisses from the tip of his lips teasing you, all dripping with desire.
"Love, you're perfect," He hummed against your neck as he gently nuzzled his nose against it to inhale your fragrance. You were like in heaven, your blood was running through your veins, your stomach transformed into butterflies out of worship for him.
His hands ran along your body, before undoing the button on your skirt. Your thighs were released quickly from the constraint that your clothes provided you as he dropped the first piece of fabric on the floor. Your hands hesitantly passed over his upper body, your fingers delicately unfasten the buttons of his coat. Once done, your hands grabbed the lapels of his coat to let it fall over his shoulders, quickly meeting your skirt on the floor.
Severus certainly was consumed by an insatiable urge, never getting enough of you. His lips never leave you, trailing against your jaw, nibbling your earlobe. His warm breath left your sensitive skin tingling with delight. Your hands were slightly trembling as you began to reach for his shirt, while his hands reached for the rest of your clothes with utmost care.
The clothes that had been a painful barrier, began to strip from your bodies, slowly, teasingly. Falling one by one on the floor. Severus leaned on his arm as he took a few steps back, your breath caught with worry and missing his warmth. His eyes roamed over your body, in an intimidating powerful manner. You had never felt so vulnerable and exposed, only covered by your underwear, his intense gaze left a heavy feeling on everything you could offer him.
However, you didn't have time to think for long when his lips captured yours. “Perfect,” He whispered as his eyes met yours. With burning cheeks, you averted your eyes. You could not hold his gaze, so much the intensity of his emotions caught your heart. His pupils were dilated, too wild, too fiery.
Your reaction left Severus laughing in a deep breath, "You really are more lovely than anything I could have imagined. My mind didn’t do you justice, love.” The gentle title he gave you made your heart beat faster, and as your hands were pressed against his chest you sensed the intense pounding of his as well. Both your hearts were beating in perfect tune.
Your hands began to undo the upper part of his shirt, releasing his neck from his stiff attire. You were still shaking, but proceeded nonetheless. There was only a layer left before you could see him as vulnerable. Severus waited, letting you take all the time you needed to finish. And the next thing you knew, you were pulling his shirt off his shoulders in the same way you'd done before.
You marvelled at the sight in front of you, your breath caught in your throat at the sheer beauty of Severus, his broad shoulders, his pale pearly skin, his strong arms were now at your total disposal. You gave yourself a moment to appreciate the one you've craved for, over the years.
"Perfect," You whispered with the same adoration he had for you, your fingers spread over his bare skin, temptingly. You were amazed at the softness of his body despite his strength, he, who held himself so rigidly in his daily life.
"Not as much as you, love," Severus left a warm kiss on your cleavage and his hands found the clasp of your bra as your hands found down his trousers. He removed the rest of his clothes at the same time as you.
Your skin was flushed, your breaths quick and uneven with anticipation. It's a good thing you had taken a few drops of Sweet Juice, otherwise you would have been a nervous wreck. This allowed you to handle the whole experience with confidence, coupled with your trust in Severus, it was pure bliss. And this must have been the case for Severus, because behind his expert strokes, he seemed a bit unsure with himself.
Your skin burned under his every touch, letting the fire spread over your skin down to your trembling, hot, insides. You were wet, swollen and soft. Severus sat on his knees, between your legs. The action left your body screaming with desperation, arching with anticipation for more, for him. Until now, you had not dared to lower your eyes to the level of his girth, but now it was time to get acquainted with what was about to enter you. Your breath was taken away at the sight of his long, veiny and erect manhood. That’s going inside of me?
"Love, I'll be gentle with you," Severus sensed your apprehension immediately, his hands gently resting on your knees to spread your legs leaving your body on high alert. He leaned forward, and placed a first kiss on your jaw, then another one on your breast, before his mouth wrapped around your already hard nipples to sweetly suck on it.
You didn't know if you'd taken a sufficiently large dose of the Potion for it to play on your sexual sensibilities, but you gasped. The feeling of his soft lips over your most forbidden body parts was exhilarating, your insides tensed. Your breasts were sensitive, responsive to every lick he gave. You were blown away by the way your body fit to him, catching his slightest touch. And as if he wasn't satisfied enough with himself, he moved his hand up from your hip, running teasingly along your skin to find your nipple, toying with it, pinching it. You couldn't help but moan, the sensation strains you again, leaving you longing for more. Your mind failed to follow, a wave of pleasure overtaking your whole body. Everything felt heightened, the sound of Severus' sharp breath, his tongue, his touch, his scent. Even the cotton of his sheets was seemingly intense.
Severus let out a long, deep growl from the back of his throat, and it made your whole body shudder. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, ready to welcome him. He understood the sign, but continued to whisper his words of adoration, of love for you. How he had dreamed of this for years, that he didn't want to be apart from you anymore. His words that met the hollow of your ear, made you feel in a whirlwind of emotions, cherished and safe. You held on to him, your arms reaching around his shoulders.
He wanted to slowly devour you, until your rational thoughts were consumed by pleasure.
“Sev,” You breathed out a long, deep moan as his finger slid inside you. You were soaking wet at this point, drenched for him. His finger stroked your insides, his thumb brushed against your sensitive bundle of nerves while his lips lingered on your throat, placing numerous small kisses.
“You are perfect,” He hummed out, right by your ear, “Perfect for me,” His nose dragged along your skin, in the hope of finding a new spot to kiss. He pressed another finger into you. Your legs tightened while your insides softened further. The stretching of his fingers was astounding. “You are the only one for me, I love you,” His words shattered everything, all the common sense you had in you. You wanted him to ruin you with his love. In a manner as violent as the emotions you had for each other, giving him everything, everything you ever had.
Removing his fingers, your eyes fell on his hand as it darted back and forth between his legs. You gasped as his delicate hand folded around the girth of his manhood. "Love, I'm here. It's going to be fine. Tell me if you don't feel well, I'll stop," he hummed softly as he laid back against you, pressing his body over yours. You nodded, and his lips found yours anew.
You felt his body lowering, and the next instant, he was sinking inside you. You hissed from the pleasure that suddenly caught hold of you. There was no discomfort, no pain, your body adapted, moulded itself to him. Your body was being taken by Severus, and everything at that moment, finally being one with him, felt right.
“Look at me,” He ordered you gently, holding himself up with one arm, ready to move. When your eyes met his, you were immersed in the depth of his love. You felt calm, in heaven, as you were shaped to accommodate him. He was the only one in this world, especially when he was looking at you with such worship.
“Good,” He smiled in satisfaction when you complied. Your eyes were hypnotised by all the love he bore you. He began to draw out, slowly. And as with your skin, your insides were just as sensitive causing electricity to run through your body, sending a shiver down your spine. His gaze intensified as he began to move a bit faster, his movements always precise and well controlled, making it more intense.
Catching his breath, Severus kept praising you, “You, are, magnifi-cent,” He growled in a low tone, between thrust as you moaned out his name in a barely comprehensible manner. You find satisfaction in being filled and stroked, to be loved in such a carnal manner, it was intense, overwhelmingly intense. He was everywhere, he was everything to you.
“Sev-, Severus, I love you!” Your voice was slurred, your mind was unable to form a coherent thought, and yet you felt the urgent need to confess your love all over again. At your words, he quickened his pace and buried himself inside you, over and over.
You were consumed by him, by his love, by your love for him. You were his, and he was yours. Entirely, irrevocably, ineluctably. There was no other way. Severus was breaking everything you owned, and it felt right. With every push, with every pull, with his loving hands, with his loving words, with his hungry breath, he was breaking you.
“Please,” You pleaded for him, a moan escaping through your sore lips. His movements became powerful, irregular, hasty. As if to satisfy you as much as possible, even if he was exceeding all your wishes, pushing your mind to the edge of depravity with each of his thrusts.
“Love,” He growled in a feverish manner, as if he had been entrusted with the most valuable mission possible, to please you. He shoved in so deeply that your eyes rolled back and watered from the sensation of being nothing but completely filled. You back arched in pleasure, welcoming the emotion in its fullest.
“Awh-” You gasped as he started to pace harder, faster. Your legs were quivering from the pleasure, your lungs burned from your moans. He held onto you tighter, in order to be able to dig into you with more vigour. Over and over. It was relentless. His need for you became beyond desperate and engulfed him into the same depravity.
“I love-, you,” He moaned darkly under his gruff breath, “I can’t-” He growled this time, in a low rumbling. His movements became irregular, erratic.
You kissed his neck, inhaling his sweaty scent and the taste of his skin stirred in your mouth. “Me too-” You whispered, in a rather dark tone, meeting his love and distress at the same time.
“Y/n-!” He growled, and after a split second, you felt him growing within you, as his whole body tightened, hardened. His cock shifted faster inside you, pounding against your inner walls. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and moans his release before his movements come to a slow halt.
Ripples of heat mingled with the throbbing of muscles and the warmth of the skin inside you. You held him close and marvelled at the sensation of your orgasm, of being filled and being enough for him to reach such a fierce release. To be enough for him to love you, to be enough for him to be so intimate with you.
You caught your breath, you were in a state of pure bliss. The last waves of pleasure take over your body, making the pleasure last longer. Severus withdrew from you, leaving you with a longing that he satisfied by taking you in his arms enjoying your post-orgasm state.
He placed a kiss on your sweaty forehead as he affectionately snuggled you pressing your body against his. After the intense encounter you'd just experienced he still longed to feel your burning skin against his. “I love you,” He said it again, as if he needed to prove it to you, but you knew by now that his affection towards you was wrenching.
"I love you more," you lay your head against his chest, letting the sound of his heart lull you to sleep as it only started to calm. His soft laughter vibrated through his rib cage,
"I doubt it, love, but this is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is another day, a day when I can finally enjoy you without any rules or barriers," Severus sounded enthusiastic, he pulled the blanket over both of your naked bodies and took his wand to stop all sources of fire from making any light.
His uncharacteristic lively tone brings a peaceful smile to your lips, you are now the one that makes Severus eager to wake up in the morning, to carry on with his life. He was your source of happiness, and you were his.
After years of trying to understand everything between the two of you, you were now in his arms.
Peaceful.
Loved.
#severus snape#snape content#severus snape x reader#severus x reader#snape x reader#severus snape x you#fanfic
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Shadow Yosuke’s Symbolism
I recently got a friend to play Persona 4 and we were talking about the symbolism of each of the character’s shadow selves, when we came to the realisation that neither of us really knew what Yosuke’s was meant to represent.
Chie’s represented her relationship with Yukiko. Yukiko’s her desire for freedom but lack of action in taking it. Yosuke has… a ninja frog…?
So I’ve done some digging.
Official Statements
The first thing I did was look at the official concept art sheet for shadow Yosuke. This primarily detailed that as the first of the shadows, they wanted it to be very obvious that their shadow’s and persona’s were the same thing.
This is done quite well and tells players subtly that they are the same without being obvious.
Jiraiya does look a lot like shadow Yosuke. The main body’s colour is inverted from black (evil) to white (good), the frogs eyes are added to Jiraiya’s head and the frog’s mouth becomes a chest piece, with the frog’s skin pattern carried over to the cuffs of Jiraiya’s clothes.
Jiraiya is easily the most similar persona to shadow. Important for early game. This idea is also helped by Tomoe looking very similar to shadow Chie, and allows the idea of persona’s and shadow’s being the same to be cemented into the players minds before they meet shadow Yukiko who is visually very different to Konohana-Sakuya.
Jiraiya In Folklore
My next step was to look for any symbolism between Yosuke and the story of Jiraiya himself. Granted, as a white woman™️ my knowledge of Japanese folklore is limited but I will summarise my findings and compare them to Yosuke’s story directly.
[Sorry for the weird formatting, I’m working around the 10 image post limit]
Both stories open with a character from an influential background and moving to a new area.
Jiraiya’s stance as a robber could be in reference to the fact that Junes is taking business away from local businesses and their families.
Saki could be taking the place of the woman in the house. Regardless of if she actually likes him, she is kind to him when others are not. This is something Yosuke admires greatly but it still doesn’t prevent Junes from ruining the Konishi’s business.
His shadow self is then a reference to the old man/magic frog. It recognises him from who he is, and although the shadow is hostile its intention is to teach Yosuke about the parts of himself he is trying to hide so he can reconcile with those feelings. This is what allows him to gain his persona, or in other words “teaching him magic”
Gaining his persona is what helps set Yosuke’s resolve and desire to avenge Saki and the others who have suffered due to the killer. He shows a distinct intelligence and is often the one to piece together vital information. Without him insisting they investigate Saki’s murder, the Investigation Team might not have ever existed. In that sense you could consider him a hero.
A good portion of his social link is devoted to him coming to terms with his situation, both around the murders and his place within Inaba. He frequently talks about feelings of loneliness and a desire to be valued, and he finds comfort in having his persona and being able to do something about what’s going on, it gives him some control over his life which he lost by coming to Inaba in the first place. Overtime though he does come to love Inaba as a whole and recognises that it’s the people around you that really make a place special. He’s not alone anymore and he’s far happier for it.
Other Potential Inspirations
In my attempts at seeing what others online think about potential symbolism for Yosuke’s shadow, I found that most people also did not understand what his shadow was meant to represent. However, I did come across a few older threads of people sharing possible ideas.
One of which was of a Chinese story about a frog in a well. The story related to narrow mindedness and limited perspective as the frog is unaware of life beyond the well and is amazed by it when told what it has to offer. This could be a potential reference to his dismissal of country life and him growing to love the town.
#persona#persona 4#yosuke hanamura#character analysis#long post#sorry if this is long and takes up half ur dash btw ghgh#I don’t normally make big ol posts like this so sorry if it’s badly written or whatever#tbh I was really surprised looking into this cause of how much you can compare folklore jiraiya to yosuke#the magic he gets is to do with storms which is probably why Yousukes element is wind#anyway this isn’t really a in depth character analysis into yosuke himself so this isn’t all too detailed#I just thought it was interesting#also ngl there are probably better screenshots to use as ‘evidence’ in this but I’m too lazy to look for them ghgh
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Robin Redesigns; Tim Drake!
He’s lying, he is cringe
Wow aren’t you so glad this was posted a decent length after the last one and definitely not *checks notes* two months after. And aren’t you so glad that the others will also be posted in a timely manner and I definitely haven’t committed to doing an art series for pride that will take most my time for the next month or so! Haha cause I sure am
COMMISSION OPEN
Part 1 | Previous
Text ID for sketch page:
[Sketch 1 - aw little guy!!! Arrow pointing to next drawing OH he’s a little fucked up actually…]
[Sketch 2 - Jason: What do you have that I don’t? R!Tim: I’m… not… cringe…]
[Sketch 3 - (The Jokers wild Summarised) R!Tim: I have the power of Alfred and D&D on my side!]
[Sketch 4 - Hyah!]
#slightlysloth robin redesigns#tim drake#Robin 3#Robin iii#haha yeahhhh do not expect the others until after June#but do expect some pride art!#red robin dc#red robin#robin dc#dc#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#character redesign#art#digital art#artwork#batman#illustration#for whatever reason god decided to smite me on this one 😭😭#i struggled so much for no reason#took me like 3 hours just to get the sketch right on the illustration#so if anything looks wonky#no it doesnt#tried to make Tim kinda gangly#just has the vibes of a kid who went through an awkward stage#slightlyslothdraws
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Indie Animations I Recommend
Haven’t posted in a while since, as I have said, my Apple Pencil broke and I haven’t been able to work on commissions or that one hazbin hotel animation… which I was actually getting through for once. Also I have fallen into a Varian And The Seven Kingdoms obsession.
Anyhow I shall now take the chance to share a couple indie animations I’ve watched/been watching recently possibly with a brief note about what kind of audience would enjoy it (might not be accurate I dunno)
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First and foremost The Epilogue Of Endings which released approximately 12 hours ago as of when I’m writing this. And just before I summarise anything I just want to praise this pilot for HOW AMAZING IT IS DESPITE ITS SMALL BUDGET! The animation is fantastic and I swear something about it makes me so happy. The art style is also amazing (in my opinion) and suits the character designs perfectly. I love the character designs, just saying, and the voice acting is superb. I think my favourite designs from it are Blu (because I mean the mask and metal arms are pretty damn cool) and the ————. I won’t say who they are because the reveal is too good to miss, but you might be able to guess who I’m talking about if you’ve watched it.
Now to say what happens. This takes place after the sun ya know, goes. I think I’m probably the most interested by what exactly is going on with Mole but I think my favourite character thus far is Blu. I suggest you go watch it, it’s very cool. I think if you like Indie animation in general then this is a good pic due to its indie feel (positive). Also would suggest to people who enjoy slightly creepy media (it’s not that creepy in my opinion but it does feature the downfall of humanity and what happens after the sun dies so it’s slightly unsettling, it masters that feeling).
And here’s their Kickstarter
We also have Dreamworld which also has a season 2, I’m just linking the first one though so just so you know you can find the second season on the channel. As said by the creator, it borrows certain tropes/aspects from analogue horror and has animatronics. As it says up there it is a sci-fi horror series that is intended to be accessible to younger fans of the genre. Again, I love the story and the character designs. So far, my favourite character and character design belongs to THE Star Light. I’m starting to see a theme with me liking sun/moon/star themed animatronics. I mean this guy has a BOW TIE and a charming smile. If I wasn’t already dressing up as Varian for Halloween then I think I would’ve looked into trying to dress as Star Light.
youtube
The pilot hasn’t released but the animation from this teaser is SO GOOD! I’m excited to see the pilot. There’s also been music/songs released by them, I can’t remember if I’ve gotten around to listening to any but I fully intend on doing so.
youtube
I’m sorry but how is the animation this good with only one person animating it (I might’ve gotten that wrong). I find the character designs really cool and the art style is fun. They’re in space. The voice acting is good. Also just gonna say, they have merch.
youtube
This is Dungeon Flippers, a fantasy real-estate cartoon following Maulie, a manticore. (I copied and shortened down the description of the YouTube channel)
The animation is great and the voice acting is really good. The story is interesting and The Ace Of Wands Theme is a joy to listen to every time.
youtube
I don’t know how to describe the plot but lemme just… the animation deserves praise, it suits the vibe of the pilot and the character designs are amazing. Voice acting is also fun and I’d recommend this even if it’s just sea side/coast vibes you’re looking for.
This one is a YouTube channel that posts OC animatics and has posted Sundrop and Moondrop animations, just saying I think they drew the Sun and Moon Q&A comics soooo that was my introduction to their work.
youtube
Just watch this and you will see some PEAK animation.
youtube
Again, the animation is awesome.
https://youtu.be/XPE3nTxV2_k?si=Rgd5yBL9_B-Fl5i7
And that’s where the video limit comes, alas, but check it out. It’s by Meppity and has some really good paper looking animation.
And this is where we have the indie animated stuff (I consider it that at least) centred around pre-existing shows.
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youtube
youtube
I myself am looking forward to making my own indie animated stuff or comics (I haven’t really decided, I’m just working on different characters whilst also writing fanfics and drawing fan comics and other art stuff on top of art homework. YAY
Here is one… dated… animation I did a year ago which took me a while.
https://youtu.be/jmteRdRgHWI?si=o-p-l9gheLSkw7Xr
It’s for an OC, but with their old design. The new design has a satchel, otherwise nothing changed to be honest. I also have done another animation which was far more rough but it was me animating whilst seeing who would win the election so it’s political and not about any of my ocs or any actual characters. As I said, I already have another animation in the works for Alastor so I have to wait till my Apple Pencil gets fixed or replaced to continue working on it.
#art 2024#Hazbin hotel#animation#indie animation#indie show#the owl house#mandelbrot hall#port by the sea#dungeon flippers#atlas and the stars#far fetched#Dreamworld#epilogue of endings#Youtube
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★ Art Tag ★
thanks for tagging me to play @doshiart @spookygingerr @michellemisfit
Have you always been interested in creating art? Kinda? No? Not sure. I think I've always been interested in art in the 'wow, thats cool' way, not really creating though.
What's your favourite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? I taught myself to draw on digital (wacom intus medium i still use) and have the free program firealpaca - im too lazy to change now. I've owned sketchbooks to take with me and it's good but I don't think I'll ever really get over not having the command + z tool.
Do you create outside of fandom? A little, I've got ocs who I draw occasionally.
Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting OH so many, its not funny. But here's a more recent piece which was initially for AFTG pride zine. It was so good, I just couldn't make it work for WEEKS. I ended up switching up and doing something else.
Favourite piece you've made? OH well, i've got a few but this would be my pick for 'konaiiro wrapped'.
Draw your icon in a minute or less - pass!! :,)
An underrated piece you've made in your opinion
you lads slept on this one (forced to screenshot from instagram bc its old and i can't find the file and, as established, im lazy). So much wrong with it and yet i fuck with the vibes and texture and expression and pose- UGH
Do you do art in a professional setting? No, not really. I've done comms in the past and I was going to go do animation in uni, but found that i like to keep my creating up to me. I would be open to run comms again, but under a different structure I think.
A piece you don't like but did really well on social media
yall flocked over these two idk. i like them enough just,, i'm so aware about all the mistakes lmao.
Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites? I've done some redraws so NOW is a perfect time.
Ian and Mandy (March 2022 vs September 2024)
i think from a creation perspective, i know my base lineart is much cleaner and rendered.
Background is,, actually there lmao. It kicked my ass to draw but it happened.
Style has changed a tonne to more realistic (?), proportions are less all over the place.
effects are just better
I can actually draw hands huzzah!
They actually have a skin tone (+freckless!!)
Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s?
Yeah! A tonne; for events, challenges, zines, charity art calendars (hint hint aftg 2025 calender sales end 31st of Oct, all profits go to help those access gender affirming care.)
What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?
I've been active on tumblr from around the start of the year, but I think its this one?
Who/What is your favourite subject matter?
honestly i think my blog name summarises better than I ever could.
Show us something not from fandom you've made
old oc art
Where do you like to create?
Desk in my bedroom! I like facing my window so I can look out like some tortured artist when my eyes need a break.
Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces?
I'm on twitter, tumblr, instagram all are @konaiiro !!
Any mutuals, if you've made it this far, this is me tagging you lmao
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i'm trying to summarise the way i engage with the fiction i really enjoy, like, the divide between enjoying its presentation at face value and enjoying pulling it apart to see how it works. in trying to talk about it through text it's sorta hard to avoid coming off as pretentious instead of earnest, so just know the crux of this is that i'm both fun funny and whimsical and also deadly fucking serious.
contains spoilers for escaflowne and jjba. and i guess metal gear?
i love to feel. i love melodrama. i love art which seeks to consume you, to share a body with you, briefly, to remind you what it is to feel a feeling. not in literal form (and melodrama is usually taken to mean "flat", lacking subtlety) but a fantastical representation of an ache deeply felt— and in that way it becomes more real than anything. the desperate dejection of the father in INTO THE WEST. the hard and physical, breathless, and then suddenly floating, drifting mood at the end of HEAT.
i've never been much of a shipper or whatever because most of the time, with the stuff i really love, focusing on that feels like a distraction. i don't enjoy Ace Attorney through the lens of phoenix/edgeworth, because i find their canon (and implications therein) friendship (along with larry) so riveting, i want to follow that thread to its many conclusions. if that makes me sound like a joyless crank, um... well, i'm not.
my JJBA OTP, namesake of this blog lol, is a personal delusion yes, but the reason why it struck me the way that it did is because it's based on a moment in JJBA which is then repeated with other characters going forward— a turning point between two people (this is key to it also, that it suddenly turns intimate) which expands the story right out from under you, a painful rugpull, a literary move. it's not solely about the plot expanding— the plot of stardust crusaders remains the same— but the entire work expands because the author has suddenly revealed that there was always more going on, and to stay on your toes. shaking your foundation. everything is the same and everything has begun to change. that's what grips me about it, that's why i find it so romantic, and i mean that in a classical sense too.
going back to Ace Attorney, most of those turning point moments are expressed/developed by the story of the familial bond between maya and phoenix. because that is/coincides with the actual plot, i don't really find myself inventing new "what if?" relationships because i'm so satisfied by the presentation of the facts.
i think the storyline of MGS3: Snake Eater falls into this too. you know what your mission is, and can expect what will happen, but the heartbreak of finally fulfilling what it promises feels completely new once you reach it. the Boss is like the peak example of characters who are aware of their narrative, aware of the role they're made to play by forces beyond their control, and despite being correct, must suffer for it. in my own work i tend to call this The (trans) Male Cassandra, because that's the type of guy i keep writing, almost like i have a vested interest in doing so. it's in this one way that i think characters like n'doul and jotaro are similar, and that's not only rare, but the way it's presented is rare too. especially for a story like stardust crusaders. but from there on, because of it being in stardust crusaders, i can see the future more clearly, and i can hold the story to a higher standard, because it's also holding me as a reader to a higher standard.
spoiler | the way n'doul reacts to jotaro, what he says about him, admires about him, laments to him, tells us more about how we should see jotaro. the way jotaro reacts to him does the same thing. in this singular fight, first jotaro is freaked the fuck out, then they're both having fun and mutual respect is earned and acted upon. when we realise jotaro means to keep n'doul alive, the reader is abruptly put in a position of knowing what's about to come before jotaro does. he should, but he doesn't, because, for this one moment, he thought something else was possible. even the type of death is different (suicide) and jotaro's reaction is different (shock/horror.) we saw rules, we suddenly see exceptions to rules, we knew what to expect, suddenly those expectations are changed— and the immediate tragedy of possibility denied. watching him try to do something we know isn't going to work out also serves to make him seem younger, and putting this in sometime before the fight with dio is a good reminder that he's human.
spoiler | it's a big part of what compels me about folken, as well as what i find bottomlessly heartbreaking about him. death seems to be a necessary component of the role of the seer/cassandra, but escaflowne shows us how desperate and dire the escape from fear and violence is. this being folken's ultimate aim above all else (to free van from the cycle), and hitomi pleading with him saying if he dies, then van will be all alone... hitomi is telling me why it doesn't make sense, and the story then sets it up such that it lacks even the paltry comfort of closeness, if not catharsis, for van. at that point in the story, i can't help but find it cruel in a way i don't find n'doul to be, or even the boss. cruelty is done to the boss in the storyline, the internal world is cruel to her. you can critique the "fridging" or whatever, but it isn't a departure. it doesn't unravel the story, it's key to it, for all time.
i was telling my partner that when it comes to something like Metal Gear or Ace Attorney, the quality of the thing imo speaks entirely for itself. if someone doesn't like it, or focuses on only some minute aspect of it, or goes off on a mad one interpreting signs and symbols that imo aren't there, the thing speaks for itself so loudly and plainly that any difference of opinion rolls right off my back.
then with JoJo's Bizarre Adventure it's similar, where i think araki's career and evolution of maturity in his storytelling and contemplation speaks for itself too, but my experience in the fandom (going way back now) was of people who claimed to enjoy it admitting they neither read nor even watched it, and were in no way capable of or interested in taking it as a piece of art. instead it was something to consume through someone else's summary, as fast as possible. which made having genuine conversations about it difficult when i'd try to talk about textual aspects of the series. conversations were dominated by moralising and headcanons. so compared to the above, i do feel more moved to defend it on that basis.
there's a nasty habit of presuming araki is a fucking slapdash idiot and that none of his choices have any internal coherence, which is plainly wrong, rude, anti-intellectual, and past a certain point, probably racist. the man has written books about his approach to writing manga and there's decades worth of interviews for more. but the game of telephone people play with JJBA in lieu of any sincerely felt relationship to it is a barrier i have a hard time talking through. so while it bothers me and i still try to talk it up, ultimately i have to shrug this off. we're having two different conversations.
then with Escaflowne i feel like i have to defend her with a knife LOL.
i know this isn't literally true, but having seen and read and talked a lot over the years, it seems like a huge chunk of people on earth are coming to it with either preconceived notions and expectations or preconceived notions in the form of feelings crystalised at grade school age. the latter isn't a criticism, it's life, it happened to me. if your feelings crystalised simply but positively, i do believe it was for a reason; you felt something and couldn't make heads or tails of it then. or you attributed it to something which then becomes something else later.
i'm not going to pretend there's no alternative to liking escaflowne, lol, i understand disliking it. however, dislike shouldn't preclude one from respecting it/taking it seriously. i talk about this below, but designating a piece of art— particularly from a time period in which art was funded, lol— valueless, especially foreign art, isn't something i personally want to be caught doing.
preconception of any kind is hard to disentangle because it must be tested. i think it was like that for me, and now with my adult perspective i can really easily point to what about it stirred and stuck with me because i have a map of creative work from then to now which points to it. (particularly in writing, if not art, though i think the film particularly informed my sensibilities.) and i'm still surprised by many things i missed. even if emotionally they landed, conceptually they didn't. which is why i really believe that in key respects it Is that deep.
i see people compare it to magic knight rayearth, but it's simply the truth that escaflowne sought to accomplish different things than rayearth and for a different audience. rayearth's narrative in the manga and anime is furibund in a way escaflowne isn't. escaflowne's masterful approach to pacing means episodes can fit a lot in them without being hectic— what frenzy there is, it's sustained only within the scene for which it's appropriate. but it doesn't have the same bounce as rayearth. there's breathing room. it differs structurally. escaflowne's story is in great part shown not only through character parallels, but scene parallels, done back to back in direct poetic contrast. so from that, i understand it's only being compared in terms of genre, but in terms of genre, escaflowne defies shorthanding. and as time goes on, that's more and more impressive to me. elevator pitches don't do much for me, and "[IP] meets [IP] x [trope]" takes me out instantly. inability to summarise it concisely (without ignoring some key component) is to me a credit to its form, not a shortcoming.
the problem is, like JJBA, it takes time to show someone what makes escaflowne's deft feats of emotional storytelling stand out. even though everyone agree the soundtrack is beast mode, for some reason it's harder to believe that escaflowne deserves that soundtrack. deserves its all-star team of artists. deserves its film. as if to say, you, the viewer, also don't deserve to witness (and are encouraged not to think about) this great joint effort, this great coalescing of ideas.
its staying power isn't immediately recognisable in still images. among things i'll mention further down, lack of time/patience and preference for secondhand experience is a real problem which affects art as much as anything. the art may not appeal to everyone but with how much art i hope fellow artists (in particular) have been exposed to, i need them to come to grips with the possibility that outright aversion to style might be a juvenile bias relative to where they're at in their creative career. if you're a professional artist, and the most technically skilled you've ever been, and you can't recognise or value work different from your own, or amateur work, there is a gaping deficiency in your skillset. unwillingness to engage in "low culture" is as tedious to me as unwillingness to engage in like... theory or whatever.
like great people, great works of art are often reviled in their time, then smoothed out and rebranded, defanged, resold. discussing art and examining ones own responses to that art is i think essential for the spirit and those around you. it's infectious and influential. it's actually, like, good and important to be self-serious sometimes. there's a totally insufferable cowardice in refraining from emotional indulgence. not just making "weird art," but feeling it. admitting your influences. admitting what you wish you could do. and trying.
and i really think even if you don't like the art, there are other aspects that succeed. i'm interested in film enough that i can point out all the camera work, shifting of perspective, timing, that make the series uniquely filmic, utilising techniques we associate with live action. that should be interesting to you not just on its own but because it isn't something we tend to have reason to expect from anime (because anime can tell a story through other means) nor expect it to be carried throughout so consistently as a crucial part of what we're meant to understand. if you don't like the plot, i still think the means of the plot expanding are executed with clever creativity. but it's the same problem: this requires time, and this comes through in motion. the visuals of the series are informed, altered, recontextualised, by the sound and the silence. someone has to be willing to see it, not past it.
escaflowne is a huge exercise in inference.
and it rewards for that reason— it rewards care and attention. because it doesn't beat you over the head with exposition, there's room for more nuanced storytelling. i think that is The enduring magic of it, what it demands from the viewer as a participant in the experience. it's not passive. or, its seeming passivity as a story/experience is a deception. i have full faith in the writer and team that the metaphors, symbols, parallels are exactly as intentional and significant as they are, because they are what sells the meaning of the story— but even at the time it stood apart for the same reason it's difficult to get people into it now, which is that we've since rapidly moved into such an age of western literalism and graceless lore and total lack of respect for art as craft, as work, as language. art as not simply aesthetics, but art as communication. when what's being communicated becomes simpler and done through simpler means, in as simple a process as possible, and only references the aesthetics of the past to imply history/thought without having to think, and in turn buries history.
one has to deeply, earnestly want to communicate something. and be willing to work to accomplish it, risks and all. the risks are necessary. failure is a teacher, and in that way, failure ceases to exist. and i don't say this stuff because i think it's easy. i am bad at working. i am bad at staying afloat. the same qualifiers as always: the work is hard, making time is hard, the work you like may not be what you're naturally inclined to make, not all forms of work are accessible/possible for all people, communication comes in many forms, and it's not only work to communicate, it's also work to learn how to become fluent/familiar with someone else's communication style/method. but that process fascinates me. it's a challenge. i'm not always up for it. but i can't help wanting for connection. i value the time i allow myself to sit inside something for however long it takes to process. if i dislike something, i want to understand my reaction and see if i can understand the method and motivation in which it's told, and if that clarifies something. i'm always hungry to understand. art is also fearless for me— the craft, the labour, if nothing else, makes me closer, more familiar, with the world, including the people i admire. sentiments like this mean so little to me. i don't imagine my inspirations/aspirations in defensive RPF like this and if i were treated poorly by someone i admire, i wouldn't admire them, because i don't admire that behaviour. and, their disapproval of my work wouldn't sway me. but i also don't approach art, or artists, even my favourites, with the goal of permission-seeking.
bearing in mind how much physical and mental effort it takes to create art, i am completely comfortable meeting/respecting it when it's shown to me, and, completely comfortable ignoring something disingenuous and soulless. escaflowne does not need a remake, no matter how much more "content" you might want. look at the anime remakes of recent years, they're horrifying. the source of your nostalgia already exists— it doesn't justify a hollow reanimation.
in a similar vein, i also don't need or yearn for it to be gay or trans just because i am, because my identity comes from myself, and the experience of being me is expressed in the art/stories i make. absent of my response to it, the media i enjoy is, to others, as representative of me as a blank sheet of paper. i don't cultivate my interests based on what i think will best represent me As Gay. i don't cultivate my interests based on the checkboxes of a scene i'm trying to fit into. transness is inextricable from me, but the things that look and feel like transness to me do not to other people. this doesn't make it lesser.
folken's narrative could effortlessly be explored as a transsexual one even if just because it mirrors what in my own life feels intrinsic, inseparable from transness, in the only way i've experienced it. but it's my own art that i hope speaks loudest to the nature and quality of my soul and ethics/ethos. you should demand better. but knowing when to demand that of yourself, not others, is important and affirming. shipping etc. is your own imagination, so you've already accomplished part of the work of creation. not all, but some!
it feels too easy and unfair to insist the series would be "better" if it were less heterosexual, as if profound pain and romance can only affect you if it's a 1:1 recreation of yourself. you are always bringing yourself into what you love. and you can aspire to it. you can be shaped by it. you can be dissatisfied and seek resolution, but eventually you're going to hit a wall where there are no more answers, because they were never intended to be answered in the first place. what's your next move?
i like thinking about art and i like making it. i have insane, baseless faith in my motivations and, if not my execution, then my interest in learning how to execute them. it isn't enough for me to have my interests, ideas, inspirations floating around in the realm of the hypothetical. i demand more. at the same time, i should settle for less, and i'm making a serious effort to learn how so i can avoid burning out (if that's even possible when capitalism is designed to be punitive and disabling.) but i also know i won't be satisfied by languishing. art has been the singular constant in my shitty, chaotic life— by making, i'm also making myself more real.
i'll always be able to laugh at Ace Attorney as much as i'm able to be held in the cinematic grip of, in particular, the drama of the last case of the 3rd game. and i'll always be able to think about eli snake hanging out with his 3 dipshit dads and whipping machine parts off of mother base and zipping around in heelys til he eats shit. as well as thinking about how beautiful it is that david snake fulfills the role/will of the boss in a way of which the same dipshit dad is incapable. i'm invited to play and also to contemplate the critique of the american war machine. i'm not saying this because i think this is a unique ability, lmfao! this is very simple, this is the baseline.
what i AM saying is... what a treat it is to love escaflowne. to enjoy such well-considered art, indulging in the wholeness of the vision. it can't be overstated just how much effort went into its creation— to have not only a series but a chance to revisit in the form of (possibly? definitely?) one of the most lavish anime films ever made. even my ample critiques come from a place of trying to meet and respect the art from its position, in its own internal context, its place in the world, and in my life. if i'm a good artist/writer, it's because i saw escaflowne when i was 12.
and that's why i wield the knife. lmao
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Hii! I was at a big con for the first time the other day. Everywhere artists sold their fanarts and my sister had the idea to sell fanarts herself. I did some research on the internet and found out that selling fanart is illegal. But everyone is doing it! What is your experience with it?
Sorry about this specific question. PS: love your art. It is stunning.
Hello there! I'm very happy you like my art, thank you!
Selling fanart is kind of a grey zone. There are certain circumstances in which you can do it, even though it is technically illegal. Through the years in my own experience, the very basic rules are this:
Only sell artwork you made yourself. This should be obvious, but don't ever sell merch with official artwork on it, because those are bootlegs and that's a whole new can of worms;
Don't ever ask an official account or spokesperson if it's okay to sell fanart. This is an unwritten rule that has many nuances, but the very basic gist of it is that most companies do not care if you sell fanmerch. Some companies like Hasbro for example have always had a pretty friendly co-existence with fan merch and fan stories, and they know that fanart is a way of introducing more people to their shows etc. That's why a lot of companies turn a blind eye to fan merch selling. However, if you ask them if you can sell your fanmerch of something they own the copyright to, they will usually have to say "no". Because yeah, it's usually illegal. But because they know that fanmerch is usually niche and small and doesn't actually hurt them, they can allow it as long as nobody asks about it. Again, this is a very summarised basic explanation bwaha
Don't sell anything that is in direct competition with official merch. For example, if there's an official pin with a specific design, don't try to copy that design and sell it yourself. That's when you are a technical negative factor for their own sales, and when they might have to intervene with you.
Don't mass-produce fanmerch. This is another unwritten rule, but fanmerch usually operates under the idea that you only do limited runs, and you don't have thousands of pieces of something that you sell. Imo it's kinda implied that you shouldn't be able to make tons of money with it constantly.
Don't try to sell fanmerch in an official store. Just keep it to conventions and online shops to be safe!
Don't make Disney merch. They will fuck you up if they find you.
But all in all, even though it's technically illegal, it's fine to sell it in limited doses :) I've been selling fanmerch for six years now and I've never had any trouble because I've been abiding to the rules above, so honestly if you don't try to become rich with massproduced fanmerch, you should be fine! <3
I wish you good luck with it!
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dear scott, as someone who does actually enjoy owen's work outside of POW its genuinely infuriating that youre right about it being so corporate. it's baffling to me, because on one hand i do see the niche that they're trying to go for? it could be fun to have some more scripted smps, it could be fun to have little minigame dailies server events and such. but the way that theyre going about it is such a weird take on.......the art of storytelling? it seems to arise specifically as a take on fandom interaction as opposed to genuine interest in art. i love owen. i love his new life, and outsiders certainly did something to my brain tho i wouldnt necessarily say it's for everyone due to it's.... politics. but i think ultimately the problem with POW (and largely, Lore capital L in minecraft smps) is that it feels like an uncanny recreation of art as opposed to art for art's sake. i'm sure people will disagree with this, which i'm fine with, who am i to stop you. and i wouldn't say it's a moral failing, like, i'm not plato. so i just sort of heavily sigh and wait for my insane art friends to do something compelling with all that. love, evan
hi evan! i was holding onto this at first because i was hoping it would springboard me into actually explaining why pow comes across as so disingenuous even though i know that's not their intention and they're fully capable of making something good, but honestly, i am very tired and you summarised the entire thing too well to risk it gathering dust in my inbox. the way pow approaches storytelling reminds me a little of empires' take which came down to uncanny mimicry of whatever had the most likes in the fandom's tags, except instead of taking fan ideas pirates is so committed to telling a story it leaves very little space to play in? i think that there's scope for some sort of axis of dsmp-empires-rats/pirates (pick your poison as both had very flawed stories for completely different reasons)-qsmp irt smps that desperately wanted to acknowledge the love of storytelling that this fandom holds but ultimately failed for whatever reason, but i am too sleepy to think about any of that right now so it will have to wait for another day. love, scott
#evan#asks#i appreciate you writing all your asks to me like we're pen pals or perhaps at war. it makes me think harder somehow
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A Hero in a City Full of Giants
So I just got positive on my covid test and have nothing better to do. I figured I might as well get started on the Don Quixote analysis of each of her IDs.
Please note that I am not infallible, and can very well get things wrong. Additionally, I might not do it all at once. It's kind of a lot.
I will also not be going over T Corp and Cinq Association in too much detail here, as I have already covered them in earlier posts.
For now, I'll discuss Shi Association and Blade Lineage. They're both pretty clear cut, so they're unsurprisingly the most brief explanations.
With that sorted, let's begin.
To start, it's important to remember the setting of Limbus Company. To summarise a lot, and I mean a lot, The City is a hyper-capitalist dystopia, one in which the best way to survive is to look out for yourself first and foremost. It is a place where in order to get anything meaningful done, one must be strong. The systems in each wing exist to benefit the rich and powerful, while exploiting the people beneath them.
Altruism is an endangered concept with The City. In a place where you have to give everything you have to merely survive, the ability to help someone else for no benefit to yourself is a luxury. Any who try will, assuming they aren't killed first, inevitably discover the futility of their actions.
Suffice it to say, heroes don't last long.
And yet, Don Quixote is still here. Still trying, despite everything that has impeded her path. Throughout the story, we have seen her time and time again going out of her way to help the weak and downtrodden, to varying degrees of success. And, while she might not be an actual hero - at least, not yet - her identities provide an interesting perspective on her motivations.
With every ID of hers we've received, we have seen a Don who, in one way or another, failed in her journey towards Heroism.
I'll start with Shi Association. They're assassins whose lethality also extends to themselves. They tend to excel when they're on the brink of death, which means that any mission they're in is likely to get very, very bloody. In Don's case, the ID story shows us that, while she acts jolly and upbeat around her colleagues, she is a deeply traumatised woman by this point.
Her ID art should tell you exactly how heroic she feels at this point. Shi Association Don is no hero, only a weapon that is on the brink of breaking.
Moving on...
Blade Lineage Don is an brief one. Don seems relatively sane compared to a number of her other IDs, even more so than LCB Don, but it is explicitly stated within her ID story that she has long since given up her quest for heroism.
Pretty straightforward, honestly. Don has lost the will to fight for others, instead deciding to act in her own best interests. In the context of The City, this would be considered a good ending for her. She's alive, still has her sanity, and is a part of a syndicate that has an above average level of morality. Not that being above average means anything, really...
So that's those two IDs done. I'll try to get the next few done by tuesday, but I can't guarantee that. If you've read all the way to here, first of all, thank you very much, but second of all...
Should I include Don's Lobotomy Corp ID? It feels a bit like an outlier, but I expect I could probably find something to talk about with it.
#don quixote lcb#insane writing ramblings#lcb#limbus don quixote#limbus company#a relatively short one this time#more to follow#blade lineage don quixote#shi association don quixote
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hi. So. I feel like I’ve reblogged enough of your art going rabid and screaming about it to actually come here and just tell you. Your art…. I am forever indebted to it. I’m not even joking rn I literally saw your art, realised the link was to tumblr and said: yep. I’m getting tumblr now. I could literally (I’m honestly not exaggerating) write a thesis about how much I love your art buuuuut I feel like that may come across as mildly creepy so I’ll limit it to one ask. Your art is absolutely BREATHTAKING. I cannot express how much I adore it with a passion. Every single time I see it I literally screech and grip my pillows and roll around and cry. You are one of the most talented artists I’ve ever come across. Like I don’t think u understand the sheer POWER that u hold. It’s unmatched, truly. I’ve literally never been so affected by someone’s art in my LIFE and if you ask anyone I know irl who ash is they’ll say: oh it’s that one artist who Sofia is batshit crazy about. You have the most incredible understanding of colours, anatomy, dynamics & poses, linework, emoTIONS, I could go on forever ever. I just hope you know how beloved you are in my eyes and everyone else’s, like we ADORE you and your art. Anyway to summarise this possibly stalker-ish ask. You’re literally the best person ever and your art is my reason to keep going. THANK YOU FOREVER !!! <3333
HIII!! god your tags had me giggling and blushing and kicking my legs for the past few days thank you so muuuuchhh you have no idea how much that means to me 😭😭 and giggling weeping crying abt this message too hello this IS an essay it’s even better than an essay okay!!! holy shit!!?? augh thank youuu thank you thank you so much i have no words like my brain is now just [very loud boiling teapot whistle]
i will think abt this forever and ever, i’m so glad you like my art that much and to know that it affects you so deeply thank you THANKKKK YOUU for taking time to reach out and write so many nice things omg 😭😭
also right back @ u?? im still shook by how you can draw so fast and consistently Good like your style is so distinctive, dynamic and full of life actually let me go get eye enlargement surgery to look at it more
aaaudhshshgds tysm again i’m going to print out your words 2947373 times and use them as wallpaper on my entire house
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top 5 character designs from pkmn!! thematically or aesthetically up to you 💢💢💢
OOOO lemme put my thinking cap on… can’t order these but here are my favourite 5! longer post bc i included pictures!!! sorry 😭
probably my favourite in the franchise … alola red!!!
a pretty simple design and nothing too crazy but simplicity done right is something i actually really struggle with in my own art so i love seeing how other artists approach it. its so cool being able to see the most famous character in the franchise grow from a little 11 year old to now being a grown adult 🥺 this is literally my point of reference when drawing or imagining red … he’s so handsome god damn!!!
lance - i think every design from rby/gsc to lgpe are super solid but ofc his iconic hgss fit is my fave … i think sometimes the superhero look can come off corny but all of his designs are so solid. i also adore how raihan and the hammerlocke uniform incorporated the design!!! you can easily tell his design was the blueprint for all upcoming dragon trainers too… an icon. this piece from the spe artbook is easily my fave ahhhh
adaman!!! no big essay reason just think it’s such a cool design, i love the colours and the incorporation of diamond shapes within the outfit with the bandages! i also love him with his longer hair out as a kid (i would die to see adult him rocking this … wahhh) idk i just wanna marry this man if i’m being honest with you LOL. take is one of my favourite character designers working at gf he literally nails every single design he’s done!!!
ghetsis! particularly his bw design and how colourful it is. his bw2 outfit gives off more evil scientist imo (which i geuss works for what he’s doing in that game lol) but his original bw design definitely gives more cult leader - which perfectly fits him and team plasma imo! i particularly like how the right side of his body is concealed, most obviously his arm and eye - bulbapedia summarises a lot more examples! i don’t think the reasoning for this has ever been explained but i’d love to know if there’s any actual lore behind it or if it’s purely a design choice!
elesa in bw2 specifically! i will forgive this women for being consistently one of the hardest gym leaders in the series because she ate this outfit UP. another one with no particular reason i just really love the headphones and especially the jacket … it looks so comfy!!! … i never vibed with her design in bw so this is such an upgrade to me… its very miku-esq imo!
wahhh this one was hard!!! pokemon and their illustrators are so talented it’s harder to pick a design i don’t like??? ahhh thx u for the ask, lots of love ✨🩷
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hi!
do you like pokespe?
well…
This is my pokespe blog, and this is my first post!
I go by Sobs (or waterworks, either is fine) and this is my blog for my Pokéspe AU - BWxPLA!! (and general pokemon related things heh)
To summarise the AU, it’s canon-consistent for the most part until Black ends up in the light-stone. Black is sent from inside the light-stone to Hisui (in the place of Akari/Rei in the games). It’s essentially Legends Arceus: Pokéspe/Adventures Edition, with more exploration of the themes of BW (cough cough and an actual conclusion for Black and White cough cough) (and also Y is there because hopefully Legends Z-A will take place during the same time period as Arceus(copium))
The AU follows the story of Black and White told in the Pokémon Adventures/Special manga (and will likely reference other events in other pokespe series). You can probably follow along just enough even without having read pokéspe, but i recommend reading it. If you ever have any questions dont hesitate to comment on a post or send me an ask :)
There is an actual story, and it’s not too Arceus-canon-compliant so don’t expect things to go straightforwardly! but a lot of the posts on here are just gonna be silly drawings of my kids, from anywhere from yesterday to 2 years ago :) (i’ve had this au in my head for a while)
I wont post very consistently (im a minor n still in school) and i might not respond to every comment (my anxiety is wild) but this little au is very dear to me. i hope u like it too!! <3
(My art blog is @waterworks-sobs) (but i don’t post consistently there tbh) (and the tag for the au is “bwxpla”!)
prepare for depression one post and chaos the next
#pokemon#pokespe#pokespe black#pokespe white#pokemon black and white#pokemon blog#pokemon bw#pokemon au#pokespe au#pokemon black 2 and white 2#pokemon legends arceus#intro post#introduction#BWxPLA#sobs rambles
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Why the In Water ending is the most canon ending to Silent Hill 2
So Silent Hill 2 is in a weird spot with its endings, since it never got an official follow-up. Silent Hill 1 and 3 have canonical endings, and you can’t really argue that any other endings could be canon because of this. The closest thing to a “sequel” would be Silent Hill 4, since James’ father appears in it, and it takes place after Silent Hill 2.
Now the devs have stated that there is no canon ending, which technically works since again, James never shows up again. You could say any ending is canon, and it could work. Now the only “canon” thing we know about James after Silent Hill 2, is that he’s considered “missing” to the general public. What this means is either that he’s dead and his body hasn’t been found yet, or he’s disappeared.
Again, this can work with any ending you got, as you could just say he ran away in the Leave or Maria ending, so that doesn’t apply to my point. Let’s just say for now, he’s missing and continue.
I want to bring up is Pyramid Head. Masahiro Ito stated he designed Pyramid Head with the In Water ending in mind. Yes, this doesn’t confirm that that ending is the “true ending” but for somebody who is so adamant that Pyramid Head has to represent a specific thing and cannot be mishandled, it would be weird for him to design a character based on a specific ending that wouldn’t be canon. Now to be fair, I can’t tell where the In Water elements are, so it can’t be that noticeable but it’s his words not mine. (Maybe PH’s violent nature towards James represents James suicidal thoughts, which leads to In Water?)
Moving on, there is the Silent Hill 2 novel. Now, novel adaptations of games usually never work, especially games with multiple endings. Unless the game has multiple endings but a set, canon one is known then it’s usually difficult to choose an ending. Unless you wrote multiple endings and had the reader choose their own adventure, it would never work, you have to pick one. So what ending did the novel go with? In Water. Now take this with a grain of salt since the novel wasn’t written with any input from the develops as far as I’m aware, it was just a written adaptation, but it’s still an official book, and that’s the “canon ending” for it.
Now my last point, before I summarise. Silent Hill 4 was originally going to have James appear as a ghost. The concept art is the photo at the top of this post. Essentially, in the Otherworld, James would appear as a ghost haunting the apartments. We don’t know if he would be an enemy or just an Easter egg, since this was cut rather early in development and it obviously didn’t happen. It’s hard to use this as evidence since it was cut, but it was still considered, and with James’ father being in this game it implies a bigger connection. Now here’s the thing with this though… it’s not a representation of James, that wouldn’t make sense since Henry nor Walter or even Eileen knew James. This would’ve been the actual manifestation of James’ ghost. Like, this would’ve been him. Why is this important? Well that would mean he’s canonically dead then. Not missing. Dead.
Now taking all of the endings into consideration, James only dies in one. In Water. Unless you made up an excuse like, he died after the Maria ending, which is stupid. With James being canonically “missing” you could again, argue that he’s just in hiding, but if his literal ghost is showing up, that means he’s deceased. Since he only dies in the In Water ending that’s gotta be the most canon one then.
All of these things are small, but when put together it can’t just be a coincidence. Pyramid Head being designed with the idea that the In Water ending was going to be canon, James being “missing” in the present, James’ literal ghost showing up AND the official novelisation using the In Water ending. C’mon.
Now the reason I keep saying “most canon” is because it won’t be the definitive canon one. The devs have structured the game specifically so that every ending, EXCEPT for the 2 joke endings, could be canon, so if some random girl on Tumblr starts saying “Actually, the original developers of the game are wrong, this is the canon ending ☝️🤓” I sound stupid don’t I? The point is, there will never be a canon ending, because this game will never get a follow up. Sure we will continue to get Silent Hill games, but we’re never going to see James or his supporting cast again, so we can’t say what’s canon, and we never will. I’m just trying to say In Water is the most canon out of all of them, not that it is canon, in fact it’s not even my favourite ending. Mine is the Maria ending.
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