#that shit would have traumatized me
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After finishing the neutral route of the game I have two things to say:
1. Fuck you Flowey
2. What the heck was that final boss, you didn't pull shit like this with Frisk (it was cool as fuck though)
#uty#undertale yellow spoilers#undertale yellow#flowey#flowey the flower#flowey undertale yellow#flowey undertale#thank fucking god that the game didnt come out when i was younger#that shit would have traumatized me
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Ghost Cora AU where he’s actually been following Law around ever since he died but nobody has been able to see him, so all he’s able to do is watch Law get hurt and suffer in silence. UNTIL, miraculously, the battle of Dressrosa ends, and for some strange reason—through some supernatural bullshit or maybe just fate—one person is finally able to see him.
Law is sitting on the deck of the Yonta Maria watching everyone party when Luffy comes trotting over to him. And Luffy plops down beside him and says, “I’ve been meaning to ask, Torao, but who’s that really tall blonde guy with the funny makeup that’s been following you around?”
And Law’s just like
#Meanwhile Cora is absolutely THRILLED. LMAO#Eventually Zoro calls Perona over and since her devil fruit power deals with ghosts. She makes it so that Law can see Cora too#(And by some bs he’ll probably be brought back to life somehow idk)#One Piece#Trafalgar Law#Donquixote Rosinante#Cora#Corazon#Luffy#Law: Ha. Haha.#Law: You’re shitting me right.#Luffy: ??? What? No?#Cora: LAWWWWWW 😭😭😭#Luffy: He’s crying your name this guy CLEARLY knows you Torao#Law; having a mental breakdown: Uh. Uh-huh???#Shima speaks#Sorry I’m coping. I’m coping really hard rn#Actually. I feel like I was more upset about Cora’s death than Ace’s. WHICH LIKE. YOU’D THINK IT WOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND BUT#I’m very. Very weak for the unsuspecting father figure who dies trope#(Sideeyes Tony and Harry (who didn’t even die anyway but it was still Traumatic for Eggsy to watch))#COUGHS
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I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!
That's right. Two hands.
One for his chalk.
One for his codex.
Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.
#I'm on to something here#screwtio#aventio#hsr aventurine#veritas ratio#dr ratio#screwllum#hsr#honkai star rail#now as a disclaimer I'm not personally a huge fan of aventio#exclusively because i think they are so SO much funnier as gay friends#but something about combining the two clicks really well to me#Aventurine and Screwllum would be pretty fantastic metamours i think#they'd have a lot of fun playing off each other#but also Screwllum being there to dispute Aventurine's doubts over whether or not Ratio cares as a verified outside perspective#listing off shit like upticks in heartrate pupil dialation etc on top of being like#he talks about you fondly he knows your favorite things i can personally attest that you are very evidently important to him#stuff Aventurine can't easily write off when coming from not only an outside perspective but also a literal Genius#and on the flip side Aventurine would finally have someone other than Ratio and the Trailblazer he can talk to with relative ease#someone who has also been through a frankly incredibly traumatizing historical event#someone who is also under constant pressure to perform a certain way#someone who has gained wealth and power at the cost of carrying responsibilities on his shoulders and never being truly free#appearing free to anyone who glances but neither of them really are#Screwllum seemingly able to freely pursue whatever research he wants but ultimately permanently shackled with his titles#and public pressure to be the perfect poised representative for all of inorganic kind#forever treading the line of being both a desirable ally and a sufficient threat that you wouldn't want to cross him#and similarly Aventurine stuck in his cycle that he feels only death can free him from of gambling with his life on the line#because the IPC basically owns him#because let's be honest Jade's offer was just a lifetime labor contract he couldn't refuse#granted the illusion of freedom through gaining money and power but never truly free
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
#i dont want to know what it says about me but i love traumatic misunderstandings?#thing like thinking the other is sh’ing or has an ed or in this case pushed the other beyond their limits#i think its the knowledge that its not true and the love or trust of the souple will win out above the guilt or fear#even less severe ones like thinking the other is mentally ill when they actually time traveled or can see ghosts or whatever#i just really like misunderstandings that have actual weight to them#tw for ghosts comic backstory#but ghost surviving roba and the hell he put him through only to be terrified of being like him? oh that shit Hits#like ghost knows hes fucked up he knows he has trauma and he knows he likes killing people a little too much#but him being scared of that twisting into him becoming like the people that hurt him? very interesting very painful#and him ever thinking that he did that to /johnny/? it would destroy him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#we’re a team. ghost team#save post#ghoap#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii
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anyway to end the series on ganondorf tp's writing, my take (which isn't canon but arguable as a valid "death of the author" read imo) is that he is at his most iredeemable AND that's because he has zero things left to lose and no community left and his goal doesn't even make sense anymore he is parasitic and a ghost and pathologically obsessed by his own godlike legitimacy because that is the only thing he still has and it has prolonged his life in a horrible diminished state in a nightmare dimension so SURELY it must mean something right right RIGHT
#thoughts#twilight princess#tp#tp ganondorf#ganondorf#sorry I am quite frustrated by the Discourse#there is a middle ground between evil bad evil bad and uwu baby!!!!!!! and it's the most interesting reading!!!! aaaaaa#even him not mentioning the gerudos being immediately taken as him not caring about them is veeeery frustrating to me#like#imo the three arguable arguments about what happened to the gerudos are#1) they left hyrule because fuck that shit (real and valid) and he would have felt betrayed#2) they collaborated with hyrule to subdue him (??? that seems weird to me but sure why not) and he would have felt BETRAYED#3) they were genocided because they stood by him#and of course we could assume he doesn't care (even if he drapes his execution sword in gerudo patternings which)#(not gonna lie is probably artists not really paying attention to motives but it's still interesting and noticeable)#but wouldn't that be like. deeply traumatic either way.#would you talk about your people to the enemies you hate. would you remind them of what they took from you#in ww they are children and he is old and had time to reflect#in tp he suffered nonstop and then rejected all connection and all community and is feverishly obsessed by what almost was#and they are not children there is no generational thing happening they are all royalties (and link!!! hi link!!) the beef is genuine#and EVEN IF he doesn't care that would at least be a massive wound to his ego#he had an ego collapse followed by a massive ego surge that's literally his canon character arc#so of course he would be weird about the gerudos!! how could he not be weird about the gerudos!!#again we are always assuming lack of interiority by default for ganondorf and that annoys meeeeeee#especially when there could be unbelievably interesting and tragic interpretations from what we get
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"women need to be meaner! Men shouldn't dictate a girls boundaries"
You couldn't handle Connie Maheswaran setting healthy (and much-needed) boundaries with her best friend. You freaking called her toxic and abusive. While season 3 of Amphibia is a hot mess Sasha Waybright being upset with Marcy isn't the problem! It makes sense she'd be pissed that she found out her friend borderline kidnapped her! Even if she can be read as kind of hypocritical, I think she has every reason to be upset! She's like what 14 at the oldest? In a terrifying situation?
It's always "set healthy boundaries" until they set boundaries with your favorite baby and don't spend 100% of their time supporting them/don't forgive their friends for their actions that hurt others
I'm sorry that Steven is your woobie child and Marcy is your comfort character but Connie and Sasha have a right to their feelings and a right to focus on their needs! It's always 'don't feel guilty about focusing on your needs' except not really because apparently focusing on yourself is actually selfish and it's morally wrong to feel certain ways about people! Connie isn't toxic- she acted really mature about the whole situation and while Sasha definitely is toxic- I think she has the right to be mad her friend borderline kidnapped her and broke her trust.
I am a firm believer in setting healthy boundaries and never letting anyone decide your boundaries for you especially when it comes to being supportive. Even if the person you are helping is a good person going through a rough patch you should still have boundaries with them- you can be supportive if you want but you should be your main priority in the need and as callous as it sounds it's not mandatory to give support to everyone especially if your being worn thin
#steven universe#connie maheswaran#amphibia#sasha waybright#I have my issues with both of these shows but these takes are cold#“Everyone has a right to feel upset or angry even if its over something dumb or hypocritical or something they've done to themselves”#And then y'all got mad at sasha#“we need to teach kids to have healthy boundaries”#You called a 12 year old toxic for needing a break from a stressful friendship#apparently Connie has to manage her future boyfriend's emotional state to be a good person#apparently sasha can't be mad she got kidnapped because she was emotionally abusive and 'brought it on herself' with her toxicity#-she's a freaking middle schooler with a bad homelife- how the hell does that translate to her deserving this shit?#don't get me started on the atla fandom#Zuko has to drop everything in his life to help his little sister even though he's not equipped for that shit at all and she tried to-#-murder him#Whether or not you think Azula should be redeemed- Zuko should not have to be her therapist- he's her brother she traumatized him and she -#needs actual help with like a therapist- not a perfectly forgiving older brother that will put up with her bullshit endlessly#but I wanted to focus on how people tend to be pissed at girls for having boundaries and not being cool team moms/sisters with everyone#god forbid women want space#heck i get mad at Yang from RWBY a lot but her not always being there for Ruby is a dumb complaint#'she ditched RWBY on her first day and didn't reply I love you back after Ruby woke up from a coma! what a bad big sister!'#NVM that yang and ruby could've ended up on separate teams and she can't coddle her forever/has friends and hobbies outside of being her-#-sister#never mind yang was still dealing with intense amounts of trauma#like a lot of RWDE takes actually hold some water but this one is so stupid#RWBY#Anti-RWDE I guess even though I think some people would count me as a RWDE#yang xiao long#ruby rose rwby#i swear to god
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I've been thinking about what each Batkid would score on the ACE (adverse childhood experiences) test.
It is a very shallow measurement of how fucked someone's childhood is. It isn't comprehensive and isn't eligible for comparing trauma. It's merely a list of shitty things that could happen to a kid (and there's no measurement for frequency or intensity). You can look into it more yourselves.
For scores, the higher the number, the worse it is. 10 is the max. The questions are about someone before they turn 18. For these questions, I included Bruce as one of their parents. I didn't include Barbara or Duke because I wasn't confident in their answers.
Alright. Here's the scores I got:
At the top of the list, we have Jason. He has 10/10 on the ACE test :)
Next up, Steph and Damian are tied at 9/10.
Cass and Tim are tied at 8/10.
Finally, we got Dick at 7/10.
I used the americanspcc.org questions for them. If you got different scores or have numbers for Barbara and Duke, feel free to respond.
#dc comics#dc universe#jason todd#steph brown#damian wayne#tim drake#cass wayne#dick grayson#trauma isn't a competition this was just me being curious about what scores they would get#having a higher or lower scores isn't synonymous with being more or less traumatized#all of the kids went through bad shit#just because someone has a lower score doesn't mean they had a better childhood#the ace test is more like a fucked up checklist than an actual trauma measurement
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Tbh I'll be the first to admit that I really don't know much about The Odyssey or Odysseus beyond what I've read on tumblr and listened to songs abt
But I feel like an interaction between Odysseus and Percy Jackson would be EXTREMELY funny
#felix (host)#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#the odyssey#odysseus#epic the musical#i have no idea what to tag tbh#percy jackson#but its a really funny idea to me#Odysseus would definitely be thrown off by percy being a son of poseidon#but i feel like his dad instincts would show up bc holy shit this kid is TRAUMATIZED#like what do you MEAN you went to Tartarus????
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Never a Romione shipper but tbh, love Harry and Ginny or at least the potential of them. It always irked me to no end that JK Rowling reduced Ginny to "hot cool girl who likes Quidditch" when, in reality, that girl's been through some stuff. There was so much missed opportunity here for them to bond on a deeper level i‘ll be mad forever. Hello?? She knows what it's like to have Voldemort in her head, she was possessed for like a year at ELEVEN. That's insane, only to be brought up literally once
This is what I'm talking about with Early Installment Weirdness! The transition from children's book to Y/A involves a major pivot in how serious you can be about the almost-dying stuff. Plus, if you take it on face, Chamber of Secrets is by far the darkest book. The main plot is a slasher thriller stapled onto a murder mystery. There's an 11-year-old girl being possessed by a malignant spirit. There's a dead girl haunting the bathroom. Threats are painted in blood in the walls. Dumbledore warns Hogwarts might have to "close forever." Harry's hallucinating a whispering voice in his head saying "hunt, hunt" and "kill, kill." It's all gothic as hell and fucking awesome, but also, uh: "children's book"? HEWWO?
This is part of the reason I cut Ginny's possession arc in Lionheart. It's a shame to take a major plot beat away from her, but I didn't feel that Book 3 or Book 4 gave her any space on the page to deal with it, and by the time she loops back around to being a major character in Book 5, it's been two years and the book's so crowded I can't imagine where an arc for her would fit.
#and then when cedric actually dies the idea of the school closing isn't mentioned#which is what I'm talking about! genre! hop! it can happen but it's gonna get a little weird!#characters are just gonna Not Talk about things and you have to get on board with that#or everything's gonna kinda fall apart!#this is why I'm on board with like. really chill postwar fics where they're just living at the ministry all normal-like#like they didn't have absurdly traumatizing childhoods that would produce extremely maladjusted adults#why? because pretending is fun.#shit's all make-believe. gotta have fun with it. only option#why CAN'T hermione be a normal-ass bureaucrat? in my fun little imagination sandbox? no reason.#no rules in the sandbox. only me and my rad little red plastic shovel#scoop scoop boys we're going in
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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.
do you see my vision?
#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying#“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME#neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry#i need them to be friends#i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand#i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences#and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them#and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set#and make them their own#they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life#the mcs ever#at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker#and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating#the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people#the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise#cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away#kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self#anyway i'm going insane how yall doing#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the sunshine court
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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Hey! I love your works, thanks for sharing them! Your stuff is some of my favorites in the fandom!
I just wanted to ask your opinion on how Malenia and Miquella (from FoR and your characterization of them specifically) would view Millicent. How do you think they'd interact with her? Would they avoid her? What would that mean for their own relationship? Etc etc.
Just asking because I think your take on Malenia and Miquella is so interesting to play around with.
Thanks! Your stuff is awesome!!
Wah, anon this is such a sweet message, I'm always humbled to hear people like my works and my characterizations! Thank you so much 🥺💕
I'm so sorry this is so long but as I'm sure you can imagine, I have Many Thoughts about Malenia lol.
I've actually thought quite a lot about Millicent and her sisters and I think, first and foremost, that she doesn't know about them at all. I think after her bloom and being carried back to the roots of the Haligtree that she's basically been in a pseudo-coma as the rot progresses now that she's needle-less, so she might know about the kindred of rot but not Millicent or her sisters.
With Malenia, I really focus on her lack of autonomy as a character throughout the most formative years of her life and the trauma that undoubtedly came with it, where she is burdened with the rot which would have effectively ostracized her from most people except Miquella (because of his immunity to the rot). This is also in addition to her being named as an Empyrean and already having her fate decided for her. So the nature by which Millicent and her sisters came to be, after her bloom and presumably like offshoots or cuttings from plants, they'd be another blow against her autonomy because she didn't have a say in their creation (implied by Gowry raising them and her rejection of the kindred of rot).
Specifically with Millicent, I imagine Malenia would see a lot of herself in her, and I think she would harbor a deep resentment because of that - not because she'd dislike Millicent, but because Millicent would be a reflection of her younger self. Someone who is spawned from her, consequently cursed BY her, to suffer the same hardships. Millicent is the same as younger Malenia, which consequently forces Malenia into the role of the Outer Rot God in their dynamic - unwittingly having taken on the role of the thing she hates. If Malenia had embraced the rot like Romina, I think it would be different, but every time she accepts it, it's when she's at the end of her rope with no choices left and she's essentially resigned herself to death.
This might sound harsh, but it's also why I love her as a character - I believe Malenia is ultimately deeply selfish in her actions where Miquella is concerned (and vice versa ignoring all the DLC). She's sworn herself to his cause, has proven herself willing to die for him, to go to war for him, to commit countless atrocities in his name and inflict the very thing she despises - the curse that has caused her so much misery - on countless others. For him. But! In a twisted way, it's also for herself! Because for once, this is HER choice. She decided to take on the title of his blade and devote herself to him. No matter the ask, no matter the cost.
Miquella, who knows Malenia better than anyone and has been by her side throughout the worst of it, knows all of this. I believe he would be sympathetic to Millicent and her sisters (also seeing a younger Malenia in them) but I suspect that while he would also try to help them in secret, he'd be (selfishly) keeping them away from Malenia so that she wouldn't have to deal with all the trauma I mentioned above. He might feel some guilt about it, but with how I write him in FoR, he's always willing to harbor some secrets if he believes it's in Malenia's best interest. He wants to save her, to give her back the life she's been denied - a life free of her rot and any burdens. And that would mean a life without five magically spawned new dependents whose existence would be inflicting constant psychic damage on Malenia and that she'd feel responsible for.
In a timeline where the twins are far less codependent, and where they're not both so focused on Miquella's ambitions to cure Malenia of her rot and revolutionize the world, maybe Malenia is able to take the time to heal and make peace with herself. In that timeline, maybe Millicent would serve to be a positive and healing influence on her.
#Cinder answers#Cinder fics#Kinda - because this is specifically answered for my FoR characterization of Malenia and Miquella#(speaking of which ch 20 later tonight maybe? If I can get my shit together and finish editing)#Tysm for the ask anon! This truly made my morning 🥺 💕💕💕💕#I enjoyed thinking more about this and writing it out since it won't come into play in FoR or any other fics I have planned for them#I know a lot of people in fandom think she'd be a good mom to Millicent & co but I think it's the opposite and that she'd be horrible at it#To me she'd probably react in a similar way to women who suffer from PPD#And the act of unwillingly becoming a mother would be deeply traumatizing for her#(in my reading of her character at least)#Imo you can't give a character terminal fantasy super cancer that's also a virus and infects everyone around her from prolonged contact#That leads to the rotting and decay of her body as a CHILD who is then forced to go through amputation to try and stop it#the same child who is also given a title that says she can be the next God but yet for some reason is rotting away#Oh and also can't die bc God locked Death away so she's basically in the Super Torment Nexus cursed to Rot Away Into Nothingness Forever#And not have them be DEEPLY Unwell and Traumatized by the experience#(side note I never understood why it's so popular in fanon they'd let her limbs just??? Rot??? Off??? Like.. We know they have Perfumers)#(and we know they loved hacking off the evil curse of Omen horns so why would they not try hacking off the evil curse of Rot???)
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Me when the first coherent thought I have in the morning is that Grim was either abandoned or his biological parents died and the only family he has ever known are three ghosts everyone was afraid of so everybody left them alone for centuries and a human who doesn't belong who doesn't entirely fit there just like them so they were all alone until they found each other.
Ghosts tied to a space which is unsure whether they can leave or not and a human who may have somebody waiting them back home and may leave with no chance of return. Who can't take Grim with them because where they come from things such as fantasy creatures and magic only exist in fairytales so he'd either live hidden from the world or in danger of being treated as a monster and experimented on because when faced with what it's new and different the world reacts with anger and fear and want to control it and tear it apart until nothing it was before is left.
He doesn't know or understand this but MC does and that's why they would have to leave him behind. His dream of studying magic and be the greatest mage wouldn't come true on Earth, that's the reason they would tell him. It's true even though it's not the main reason why. But Grim would understand they just don't want to stay with him and prefer to leave and forget him because if they did love him they would stay.
Then again he could try to dig up in his origins and find his first family but what if time travel exists and MC from a previous timeline was who gave him the ribbon, his first gift and only possession before arriving at NRC? Meaning MC was the person his world revolved around before he even knew who they were and there was no other family he had.
Doubting the trouble squad has ever have a heart to heart conversation about Grim and MC's fates if or when they depart either because they have forgotten or pretend they aren't aware but deep down Ace and Deuce and all of MC friends know but prefer to keep ignoring it instead of confront their feelings. Grim and Malleus being the only ones who may have never think of it until the moment arrives nor accept it. Just like young children who believe their parents, their pillars, their everything that makes them feel safe, would always be there until death knocks at their door. Because MC have friends and a home in Twisted Wonderland and they need them so why would they leave?
They know MC keeps searching a way home and wondering if their loved ones misses them as much as they do and how much time have passed on their planet without knowing MC wishes they could have it all so they didn't have to choose between their previous family and the one they found there. And neither Grim or Malleus won't admit they know because thinking of it brings back the feeling of abandonment and losing everything that make them feel completed.
But the prince will have both Silver and Sebek and his grandmother for the rest of their lives with him once he returns home, people who was there from the beginning. Time to grow with them and accept they'll leave too. Everyone will graduate and go home and except special occasions each one will go their own path.
Grim will stay with somebody else but it won't be the same for him because he already had a family he wanted to keep together and failed to do so and without the dorm ghosts and MC the only thing left for him is the wound he carried before finding them opened once again that will remember him that nobody in this world can stay by his side forever so he'll stay and search a way to reunite with MC again and wonder if they miss him as much as he does and wishing MC have had everyone they loved in twst so they didn't have to choose or if they had to they had chosen him instead in the end and thinking of how all the future plans they shared and promises they made of growing old together were empty and the words that made him happy about how they loved him now hurt and they failed him and he failed to have everything he wanted and they left they left and he's thinking of them even after promising himself he wouldn't anymore a lie just like theirs and he's crying again and it hurts it hurts and
#twisted wonderland#twst grim#twst book 7 spoilers#I think. probably. the reference is there even if it was unintentional that comparison#sometimes I wish I wasn't a sentient being able to think so I didn't have to imagine things like this#it could have just ended in the first paragraph but noooooo keep adding salt you mf#why do I register thoughts and create scenarios and process emotions WHY#twst angst#this is biased because he my baby and I love him but the thought of never seeing my irl friends and some of my relatives would destroy me#so would it be leaving him tho#also the narrative is altered in some parts because I imagined it as how I believe Grim would think there#if you want to call it narrative#because to me this is a long ass rant about thoughts that ran me over like the black carriage to every mc so far#does anybody knows how to undo scenarios in your head#pass me the bleach#to me Grim has the emotion management and matureness of a child: Still working on it and easily fucked over traumatic shit like mc leaving#if it needs tw or anything let me know
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thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.
#Star wars#qui gon jinn#obi wan kenobi#The disaster linages complicated relationship#Neglect#Trauma#Like qui gon was deeply traumatized individual#And I think he just could not deal with being responsible for another child#Like I'm pretty sure obi wan would do something and qui gon would be having literal flashbacks of xantos#Which is not an excuse for obi wan being left to fend for himself but#And that lackluster care ran deep man like obi wan regularly ended up on a completely different planet during those early missions#But to that 13 year old baby wan it felt like trust#So when qui gon started suddenly giving a shit and putting rules in place it felt like mistrust#It's a pretty common reaction to see in kids when their parents who hadn't been parenting get it together#Qui gon having so much guilt being a helicopter tired dad#Wrestling his feral padawan into one of those kid leashes#Qui gon: through gritted teeth: its the will of the force Padawan stay fucking still I mean it I swear to all the gods#Obi wan: 15 and feral and war veteran twice over embressed to the point of finding this humiliating:#Master hates me? Mater distrusts me?? He thinks I need to be held on to like I'm fucking 7 years old when will I ever be good enough for hi
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#hot take that doesnt feel that 'hot' if ur kid is going thru one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives#and having to do it TOTALLY alone despite it not at all being a one person job#but thats just circumstance and how the cookie crumbled#and then you offer to come pick them up and drive them home for a week of help and relaxation once the experience is over since that's#all you can offer at the time#its. kinda a fucked up move to then back out when the time comes for said promised r&r#esp when u dont seem to understand [or maybe worse yet you Do but don't care] that ur child CLUNG to and FANTASIZED abt the relief that was#on the horizon for WEEKS of HELL. like 'just a little longer and then I will finally have some help.'#'just a little longer and then I can rest'#'just a few more days and then I can lay low and recoup some expenses and have meals I don't have to solely cook whilst also rehabbing a#sick dog and trying to maintain a home whilst also working full time'#only to get to 'the day' and get a 'its not going to work out after all sorry....we are just so Busy prepping for our travel abroad next#month you know? it would be too Stressful to have a third person in the house'#YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABT STRESS RIGHT NOW????? BE SO FOR REAL----#like if u werent free fine. u dont owe me shit im grown. BUT2 PROMISE IT AND REAFFIRM IT TIME AFTER TIME AND THEN BACK OUT IN THE 11TH HOUR#SERIOUSLY???#I love them but this. fucking Hurts. and I had to pretend it Didnt so as to not make a scene
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Alfonse calling Lif a Bastard in the same way a sibling who holds an extreme level of resentment towards another sibling might
NOT a sibling coded interaction between them, despite the example. It's more about one denying the other of that shared family of origin due to feeling personally slighted and as a consequence of the other's personal failures. Your stupid ass ways have hurt both the family I feel a level of responsibility for (no matter how conflicted I am about that it's MY burden to bear ESPECIALLY because you fucked up as severely as you did) AND ME. Bonus points when directed at a full blooded sibling, legitimacy REVOKED you are NOTHING to me
... Writing all that out, initially starting out as an elaborate self-hatred bit (will never NOT be hilarious to me as a concept, and this one in particular has LAYERS to it) and having the dawning Realization. The core feeling this is coming from, maybe would be WAY more effective as a concept between SHARENA and Lif. Then getting achingly conflicted because that's just. NEVER the angle I take with them. I think she ABSOLUTELY has valid reasons to potentially get to that point but I. I want her to love him no matter what. Plus the unmatched comedy of her just accepting she has two older brothers now and she's going to subject BOTH of them to immense psychic damage through The Power of Love. Then I run a tumblr discourse simulation through my head like okay Misogynistic???? To expect the girl to "fix" a broken man through 💖 Love 💖 no matter what?????? A sentiment you do ideologically agree with (to specify -- it is a misogynistic trope and absolute fucking bullshit dogshit in real life), it should never be a woman's job to "fix" a man. You acknowledge the cisnormativity of that statement and take shrimp color damage from the fact that you're a trans man. Someone who was raised with this sentiment being a widely understood way of life especially from your mom's side in particular, and someone who, despite the epic new (not at all new at this point) gender identity, is often still bound by the expectations enforced upon you. Also what are you, still Christian???? You hear your mother's voice. "Family Forgiveness is Important -- I hope that one day you can see that. Like I Did 😇💖"
You have died. Badly.
#my notes#i tricked you. you thought i was gonna give you enriching askr family thoughts and fun headcanons.#instead i give you a recreation of what happens in real time for me. when i think about them#also editing this augh. like. i don't wanna get too into the details of the 'like i did' bit bc#like. despite everything. i want to have some level of privacy and respect about it.#but her situation was. bad. far worse than mine. and even acknowledging that like i make a huge fuss esp lately#but like. that's just how it goes. traumatized people will sometimes go on to traumatize others#like in all of this all of my shit talking i feel the need to acknowledge her humanity. okay.#all that said all my bullshit about the askr family unit as a whole. you could psychoanalyze me for days.#i would prefer if you didn't. instead you should find amusement in my post and take anything that sparks a vision#okay. i love you.
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