#that seems to support my personal experience

[matrix-fairy]

Your Soulmate According to Your Matrix Destiny Chart

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💫 1 – Your soulmate is a strong, confident, and independent person. They take the lead in life and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. However, they can sometimes be dominant and need personal space.

💫 2 – Your soulmate is empathetic, caring, and deeply emotional. They create a safe and harmonious relationship where you feel understood. However, they may be too sensitive and need constant reassurance.

💫 3 – Your soulmate is fun-loving, creative, and full of energy. They bring joy into your life and inspire you to live freely. However, they may sometimes be too spontaneous and struggle with stability.

💫 4 – Your soulmate is reliable, grounded, and values stability. They offer a strong foundation for your relationship, ensuring security and long-term commitment. However, they can sometimes be rigid and resistant to change.

💫 5 – Your soulmate is adventurous, free-spirited, and always seeking excitement. They encourage you to embrace new experiences and step out of your comfort zone. However, they may struggle with commitment and routine.

💫 6 – Your soulmate is nurturing, loving, and devoted. They prioritize family and emotional security, creating a deep, heartfelt connection. However, they may sometimes be overly protective or self-sacrificing.

💫 7 – Your soulmate is intellectual, deep-thinking, and spiritually inclined. Conversations with them are meaningful, and they help you see life from a new perspective. However, they may sometimes be distant and lost in their thoughts.

💫 8 – Your soulmate is ambitious, powerful, and goal-oriented. They push you to succeed and help you build a stable future. However, they may sometimes prioritize work over the relationship.

💫 9 – Your soulmate is compassionate, idealistic, and has a big heart. They are deeply connected to humanity and always strive to make a difference. However, they may sometimes be too idealistic and lost in dreams.

💫 10 – Your soulmate is charismatic, inspiring, and a natural leader. They bring excitement and motivation into your life. However, they may sometimes be too focused on their own goals and need space.

💫 11 – Your soulmate is intuitive, mystical, and deeply connected to their emotions. They bring spiritual depth to your relationship and understand you on a profound level. However, they may sometimes be overly sensitive and emotional.

💫 12 – Your soulmate is kind, compassionate, and artistic. They bring beauty and harmony into your life, always supporting you. However, they may struggle with setting boundaries and prioritizing their own needs.

💫 13 – Your soulmate is someone who embraces change and transformation. They challenge you to evolve and grow. However, their intense energy can sometimes feel overwhelming.

💫 14 – Your soulmate is peaceful, balanced, and emotionally stable. They create a calm and safe space for love to flourish. However, they may sometimes seem too distant or reserved.

💫 15 – Your soulmate is passionate, magnetic, and deeply emotional. They bring excitement and depth into your relationship. However, they may sometimes be intense and demanding.

💫 16 – Your soulmate is strong-willed, determined, and a catalyst for transformation. They push you to grow and evolve. However, their intensity can sometimes feel overwhelming.

💫 17 – Your soulmate is creative, inspiring, and full of vision. They encourage you to dream big and believe in yourself. However, they may sometimes get lost in their fantasies.

💫 18 – Your soulmate is deeply intuitive and spiritually aware. They understand you on a soul level and offer deep emotional connections. However, they may sometimes be too caught up in emotions or illusions.

💫 19 – Your soulmate is ambitious, determined, and success-driven. They inspire you to push your limits and achieve greatness. However, they may sometimes struggle with balancing work and relationships.

💫 20 – Your soulmate is wise, intuitive, and emotionally deep. They bring a sense of meaning and understanding to your life. However, they may sometimes seem too serious or intense.

💫 21 – Your soulmate is free-spirited, adventurous, and open-minded. They bring spontaneity and excitement to the relationship. However, they may sometimes be too independent and distant.

💫 22 – Your soulmate is fun, lively, and full of life. They bring joy, excitement, and spontaneity to your life. However, they may sometimes struggle with responsibility and consistency.

[lu-is-not-ok]

Hi! I was wondering what your thoughts were on the relationship between Hong Lu and Xichun. Namely (if I'm interpreting this correctly), how much he seems to care for her well-being. This has been nagging me since Canto 7 but he was so insistent on her being careful or joining up with him. Like you can tell how bothered he was. And HL, while often repeating some form of "my family sucks" doesn't usually let it linger? He makes a joke and moves on. I haven't heard anyone talking about it but this is the first time HL has shown care towards any of his family, even if later he is all "yeah if she dies, she dies, oh well". You're not fooling anyone, you.

You're right on the money with that one! When Hong Lu calls Xichun his 'most amicable sibling', I believe he's very much being truthful about that. Because while yes, she's rude and tends to do everything in her power to push him away, there are small moments that show that their care for each other is in fact mutual.

After all, she herself even points out that if it was any other sibling he ran into, he would have already been taken out. But Xichun doesn't do that. She doesn't kill him, or try to capture him, even though she's clearly aware that their Family is actively looking for him.

In a way, she's similar to Hong Lu in that she's never entirely straightforward with how she feels about things. She often puts on some sort of facade to hide the true meaning of her words, just in her case it's a mask of hostility, likely to defend herself in her position.

There's two moments in particular I feel that exemplify this by alluding to how Xichun actually feels towards Hong Lu, beneath her anxieties and prey animal rage.

The first one is this.

I've already gone at length about this scene from Hong Lu's perspective, how the thought of being an embarrassment to someone else in his Family causes him to shut down and default to trying to nod along and speed through the conversation as fast as possible. However, I think Xichun's response here is likewise notable.

Because she almost immediately backs up. It feels almost as if she's lamenting that he's still dealing with such situations as badly as he did back at home, and after giving one more 'jab' (one that you could even read as a backhanded form of assurance that she is in fact safe for him to be around), she takes the hint and ends the conversation.

The second one is the exchange that leads to them parting ways.

This is perhaps the most obvious Xichun has ever been about her own worries for Hong Lu. She's very visibly showing concern and outright anxiety over the thought that Hong Lu isn't taking things seriously and putting himself in danger. And then I believe she realized why that is.

If you've seen any of my analyses and theories, you know that I'm a firm believer that Hong Lu lied about the reason why he left the Jia household, and that in reality he's a runaway. This moment here is I believe the moment Xichun realizes that he ran away as well, and as such his goal is completely different from hers. As Hong Lu himself later states, "The path diverges, and we must each take the other trail."

After that exchange she continues to show concern for him, if somewhat indirectly.

I don't think she's saying this just to give advice on what Donqui/Sancho might be feeling at the moment. I believe she's implying that she's recognising that Hong Lu himself might be or at some point have been in a similar situation, and is thus attempting to empathize with him. Hong Lu's response here feels like he's taken the hint and is confirming it, clearly speaking from a much more personal place and experience.

And then, of course, is the moment they split up.

Another one of Xichun's backhanded assurances. She might sound rude here, but the essence of what she's saying is clear here. She will come back for him and maybe even support him.

So, yeah! Hong Lu not only cares about Xichun, but has every reason to! She's clearly one of the few Family members he has that actually seems to care about him in return! Even if it is buried underneath her harsh demeanor.

And regarding the one scene you bring up, well, I might as well repeat my own full interpretation of it now that we've gained more insight into Hong Lu after the check-up intervallo.

Note how Hong Lu directly interrupts Gregor here. I believe Hong Lu here is reacting very emotionally, effectively snapping at Gregor for what he implied. Part of it I believe is the implication that the death of a loved one would hold any substantial meaning to Hong Lu, something he is extremely philosophically opposed to due to viewing all kinds of death as meaningless.

But the other part of it is, well, that the thought of someone he loved dying in front of his eyes brings up memories he doesn't want to acknowledge. So he snaps back with as straightforward an answer as he can come up with so as to not give himself the time to dwell on the idea. Because it sure is suspicious he has yet to mention the one other person in his household that is ought to be very amicable towards him, no?

[last-airis]

my farmer oc Eden :)

Farmer oc Eden🗡⛏️

a little context about eden:

Eden is 28 years old when she arrives in Pelican Town.

Eden is a very impulsive person and often gets into trouble because of it. Eden may seem selfish because of the decisions she makes, but she is not. On the contrary, she always tries to help and fix things, but because she is so impulsive and overthinks so much, she ends up ruining everything.

Eden is a very strong person and a person who likes risks and new experiences, but what she really wants is to have a quiet life, to have a place to belong and not feel excluded, she is a person you can trust and she will always defend the people she loves.

Eden can be very stubborn about what she wants, when

she has something on mind there is no one who can stop her.

About her design, Eden is an androgynous person, at first everyone thought she was going to be a male farmer but they discovered she was a woman, Eden was never bothered by people thinking she was a man, Eden is usually a person who is not bothered by anything.

About her relationship with Harvey: It's a relationship that's progressing little by little, they're both going to get to know each other and they're two very different people but with little things in common. I have an analogy to describe them, while Harvey tries to fix the broken dishes he ends up cutting himself...while Eden tries to hold all the plates by herself and ends up breaking them. They both went through a long journey before having a relationship with each other, they both support each other and see the problems that each one has, they both support each other and move forward together.

About the drawings: In this drawing Eden has scars and her hair is a little longer, all of this is part of year two (when Eden arrives in Pelican Town she doesn't have any scars) the scar on her face has context but I 'll leave

:) In future post I will add more context (and small wips of the comic)

too much text... sorry

[yukidragon]

Hello, I started reading your blog not so long ago. I am amazed at how you describe everything in detail, so professionally that your headcannons seem to be canons))

Anyway, I have a question about the game Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack. How do you think the characters from this game would help and support us if we (the players, the main characters) were very shy? In terms of any actions, such as expressing your feelings to your partner or intimacy. And not in the sense that we are just embarrassed, but really very timid and do not know how to behave (For example, because of personal feelings or doubts, poor self-esteem and self-doubt, we behave this way). How would the characters in this game support us, help us feel more comfortable and confident?

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoy my rambles and ideas. 💖

Well a fair number of them are canon to Sunshine in Hell if you want to get technical. Not so much the AUs and random what if scenarios of course. ;3 I just approach the characters and setting through my own lens and what feels right to me, which I apply to the stories I write about them.

Funny enough, having a timid and shy main character suffering from poor self-esteem and lots of self-doubts is at the core of Sunshine in Hell. Alice is a character who is suffering from a lot of hesitance and uncertainty due to past experiences and a lot of toxic aspects of society.

Jack

Jack is incredibly mindful of Alice's needs and boundaries. Thanks to their connection, he can sense when he's doing something to make her uncomfortable and adjust accordingly. This bond their souls have may or may not be canon to the game, but it is canon to my version of the story. In a way it's kind of a cheat for Jack, allowing him insight that other people lack.

Plus Jack is a perceptive, clever man. It was a survival tactic when he was on the street to be able to read others' intentions, and he grew up in a house full of two-faced people as Joseph. He learned what he had to do in order to please people. He knows how to read body language, expressions, tone, etc. so he can tell when someone is feeling positively or negatively. Even if his supernatural "cheat" doesn't give him enough of a hint, he can deduce more from body language.

Jack wants to be there for his sunshine and be everything they could ever want or need. He needs them. He's desperate for their love and to have a purpose, and his very existence is tied to it. This makes him especially mindful of his sunshine's likes, dislikes, and needs.

So depending on the MC, Jack will try to adjust his behavior around them. If they need him to go slower and be more supportive he will. That's why Sunshine in Hell is going to be a slow burn. Alice was not only damaged by societal pressures, but by a toxic relationship with her previous and only partner. Being burned so many times has left her hesitant to make a move that might cause her to feel the flames again.

Jack's go-to to offer support and help his sunshine feel more comfortable is with words. He is the ultimate cheerleader, offering advice when he can, watching out for their health, and of course giving unending praise. He makes sure to tell his sunshine exactly what makes them so beautiful in his eyes and how brightly they shine.

Jack pays attention to even the small details about his sunshine, what they like, what draws their attention, and what they have been able to accomplish. He then shines a spotlight on those parts of MC with plenty of encouraging words and love.

In ways Jack also takes on the guiding, mentor role, especially for a timid MC. After being scarred by Ian and so down on themselves, he needs to work hard to coax open their heart again and let them know that it's okay to love him and to accept his love and support.

A good example is Jack gently guiding his sunshine to his lips when they have the urge to kiss him, then further coaxing that kiss into a deeper one with tongue. He pushes his luck at times, as he's just so NEEDY for his sunshine, but he's hyper focused on their comfort. He won't and can't do anything his sunshine doesn't want to do after all.

Jack certainly is going to encourage any steps his sunshine takes towards him. Using Alice as an example, whenever she reaches out to touch him first, he tries not to call attention to it, since that could make her feel self-conscious and retreat. Instead he offers gentle smiles, returns the touch if he can, and is as encouraging as he can be. He wants to reward every time she gathers up the courage to do more with him.

He's careful not to chase after her when she needs to retreat. While disappointed, Jack knows that Alice needs that space for herself because she's overwhelmed. He instead focuses on redirecting her attention to something less troubling if he can.

Distraction from anxious thoughts are another tactic Jack employs. Redirecting his sunshine's focus to what they do right and how much he loves them can prevent an anxiety spiral that might lead to them retreating from him and his love.

Of course, if their worries and self-doubt start to spiral into a dark direction, Jack will help walk them through it. He wants to share their burdens and be a good friend and partner to them. He wants to be just as vital to their life as they are to his.

Jack's past psychology classes as Joseph help in this regard. He learned techniques about how to calm down a child who is scared or dealing with trauma. It doesn't translate perfectly when dealing with adults, especially since he's constantly trying to be Sunny Day Jack 24/7, but it works with those who aren't turned off by this kids show host persona.

While Jack isn't perfect at it - though he desperately wants to be - letting his own needs and desires for MC bleed through at times, he tries his very best to support them in whatever way they need. He checks in on how they're feeling, even during the most intimate of settings, especially when they're feeling uneasy or uncertain. For Alice, he's just what she needs during her most vulnerable time.

On that note, let's switch to the guy that left Alice feeling so vulnerable in the first place. The question was how all the love interests will support MC after all.

Ian

Ian is... a mess, to put it simply. He tries his level best, but he gets swept up in his own feelings at times, as I've mentioned in previous headcanons, like the big one about sex and love.

Ian knows what it's like to lack confidence and to view himself in a negative light. He's down on himself and very timid. He struggles with expressing himself due to being suppressed for years. He does best when being guided rather than doing the guiding.

With some partners, this could lead to overcompensation. Alice went out of her way to ignore her own needs in order to make him happy and encourage him. This feeling that she had to take care of him pushed her to do things before she felt comfortable or ready.

However, if Alice did voice she wasn't ready for something, Ian would've backed off immediately. He doesn't want to push his partner hard and would feel awful if he did so, likely leading to him crying. He just wants to be a good partner and fears he's not good enough for her... or anyone.

In a way, Ian then becomes the perfect person to relate to an MC who lacks confidence. He understands these insecurities all too well and can share in that experience. He knows just how hard it is to overcome that awful voice in one's head that says you're not good enough. He related to Alice and her worries about her appearance. He always made sure to let her know that he loves her regardless of what society finds weird or ugly, such as her weight or how she might act at times.

Ian reassured Alice that he only ever found her attractive. He struggles to put things into words at times though, especially due to his shyness. Other people are "weird" in his eyes, so he could never want to be with them like he wants to be with her.

Ian is someone very excited for physical intimacy, and once he is given the green light, he tends to take the lead in his enthusiasm. This can allow MC to not worry about making decisions when he lets his urges and emotions lead the way. He also doesn't shy away from telling MC just how much he loves them and how good they make him feel.

Even if MC doesn't feel confident in their appearance, Ian knows them. They grew up together. They've been his strength when he was weak. They might think badly of themselves, but he sees them as his hero. They've done so much for him, been there with him through his worst moments, and gave him the strength to pursue his dreams. They shine so brightly in his eyes. He's not afraid to let them know that they are the best thing to ever happen to him.

Which makes it all the worse that he cheated, but shhh, that's not what this post is about.

Shaun

Speaking of which, that gives a good segue to switch over to Shaun. After Ian cheated, I can imagine MC's self-image and confidence would be at its lowest. Fortunately, Shaun was there to offer support and words of encouragement. He makes it clear that he cares and he's there for them, always.

Shaun knows that MC deserves so much better than to feel like garbage. He's a big ball of sunshine, and he takes the lead with a friend or partner who is struggling to keep up. He is very encouraging with physical touch, such as hugs, cuddles, and ear scritches. His purring can serve as a very nice reward for MC when they have the courage to get a bit more physical with him.

Shaun tries to keep things light most of the time, mainly because he's wallpapering over his own issues. He's bold and energetic, and that can help distract MC from their own worries and hesitation.

Of course, Shaun isn't one to avoid a difficult conversation just because it's hard. He wants to talk through what's bothering with MC and help them work through their issues. If they don't want to discuss it though, he'll let the topic drop for something that they're more comfortable with.

If MC is open for it, Shaun is ready to give bear hugs whenever they want. He's got the strength to scoop up even the heaviest of besties. If they don't want it though, he'll show his support by buying them lunch or talking about something fun.

Another perk Shaun has is kitty therapy. Not only is he cat-coded, with his whisker marks, kitty eyes, and ability to purr, but he has sweet baby Moon Pie. What better way to soothe a nervous MC than with a kitty cuddle puddle with a precious furbaby in their lap while he cuddles them both close?

When it comes to intimacy, Shaun leans towards being a daddy dom. He's good about checking in though, making sure that MC is feeling comfortable. This goes for platonic moments too. It might be easy to get swept up in his flow, but he's very mindful of those he cares about. He's the type to take charge of things so that everyone gets fair treatment and feels comfortable.

When it comes to insecurities and MC being down on themselves, it'd come to a surprise to Shaun that they feel that way. He doesn't see these supposed flaws they have. Oh, he believes they see these flaws in themselves, but he certainly doesn't, and he's sure no one else who matters does either.

If MC wants or needs Shaun to take the lead, he's more than happy to do so. He can be his kitten's daddy dom if they want him to be~ If they need to take it slower and make the first move, he'll let them. Shaun is so worried about how MC feels that he's swallowed his crush on them for years. He doesn't want to lose his friendship with them just because of his feelings.

Shaun does have plenty of confidence in himself, but he's mindful that's not a guarantee of anything. It's also not an excuse to cross boundaries. Emotions are more complicated than that, and success plus a good appearance doesn't make someone necessarily appealing to everyone in all ways. His uncle is someone successful, well respected, and charismatic, but is very abrasive, as an example. He loves the man, but also can't trust him.

Shaun knows what it's like to be hesitant to trust someone. That's why he works hard to be someone that can be trusted. He wants to be liked and to help people to feel relaxed around him. It's what makes him a good friend and an attentive lover. He'll do his best to encourage a timid MC to do what they want, even if he might long for something more. He can keep his feelings in check to make sure that they're both comfortable.

Nick

On that sweet note, let's switch over to Nick. Granted, I haven't gone into Nick's backstory a lot as of yet due to his role in things, and my thoughts on him have evolved a lot over time, but he's a sweetheart overall in my headcanon land. While he has this influencer persona online, and a sexy, confident dom on LonelyFans, he is actually a bit timid when taking off those masks. He knows what it's like to feel easily flustered, so he does his best to disarm those feelings, letting MC know it's okay.

Nick does his best not to put pressure on MC. While he does ask MC out while at work, it was at a moment that felt right after some good chemistry between them. He backs off right away at being turned down and respects boundaries.

Nick was drawn to MC by how cute they are. He wants to learn more about them as himself, not as his online persona. He understands the pressure to perform, to push himself further to live up to expectations. He wants to remove that pressure from others in his life, especially his partner.

However, Nick's experiences with LonelyFans, especially personal shows with his followers, has given him experience on how to dish out praise. He's learned how to make various people feel good and cater to different tastes. He's dealt with shy customers before, and he knows how to take charge when they need him to be the strong dom, and when to be that sweet and seductive voice in their ear letting them know that they're doing a good job.

Nick tries to balance what he learned from his online persona with his real, kind of awkward self. When he's in a relationship offline, he tries his best to be his authentic self and not so much the dom persona. He'll do his best to encourage MC to be themselves too. He wants that authentic connection with someone. This means accepting that their authentic self can be a bit clumsy and uncomfortable with themselves.

While Shaun is more bombastic and energetic, Nick is more chill. He goes with the flow more, allowing things to slow down to a less stressful pace. After all, the online space is constant go, go, go, and he enjoys the space to breathe and just experience a genuine moment when offline. He helps MC feel more confident by helping them find space to breathe and slow down too. They don't have to rush when they're with him.

If they need Nick in dom mode he can do that, but he'd rather save that for when he's in the headspace to switch to that persona. He might teasingly switch to it during casual moments though, especially if MC let him know they need an extra nudge at times to get going.

Overall, all the guys are mindful of MC's boundaries. If they say they don't want to do something, they won't push it. They also check to make sure they're doing okay. They're encouraging and genuinely think MC is amazing. For all the love interests' individual flaws, they do try to do their best for the people they care about. They might fumble at times and make mistakes, but they do want MC to feel happy and confident in themselves.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[phoenixblaze1412]

I love the child reader stuff you make a lot! how do you think the segments and dottore would react if child reader now a bit grown up into teen years came out as queer/trans?

Dottore (Prime/Zandik)

At first, Dottore’s reaction might seem detached. He’s not the type to outwardly emote much in any situation, but his mind would immediately start analyzing. Not in a dismissive way, he genuinely wants to understand.

“Interesting,” he might say, with his usual sharp tone, but he wouldn’t mean it mockingly. To him, it’s simply a matter of identity, and the mechanics of gender or orientation fascinate him from a scientific standpoint.

Beneath his cold demeanor, he respects you deeply, so he wouldn’t dismiss your experience.

If you needed reassurance, he would provide it in his own way: practical support. He would ensure you had whatever resources, clothes, or tools you needed to feel at ease.

He’s protective, so anyone who dared disrespect you over your identity would face his wrath in full force.

The Omega Segment

Omega is logical and pragmatic, so his response would be straightforward and nonchalant. “If that’s who you are, then so be it.”

He wouldn’t make a big deal out of it and would treat it like any other personal revelation, continuing to work or experiment while listening.

However, he has a soft spot for you. While he doesn’t show it often, he would adjust his behavior if it made you more comfortable, switching to new pronouns or offering affirmations subtly in his interactions.

He’d also offer guidance in a calm, steady tone if you seemed uncertain about yourself, always grounding you when emotions ran high.

The Iota Segment

Iota’s reaction would be more overt. He’s loud and proud of you, hyping you up immediately. “That’s my kid!” he’d exclaim with a wide grin, clapping you on the back.

He might be overbearing with his enthusiasm at first, insisting on helping you in ways that could verge on embarrassing, like marching off to intimidate anyone who might have ever been cruel to you.

“You tell me if anyone’s giving you trouble. I’ll take care of it.” His protective instincts go into overdrive.

Iota is a bit brash but very genuine. If you needed support, he’d jump into action without hesitation, even if he didn’t fully understand at first.

The Epsilon Segment

Epsilon would react much like Prime but with a more inquisitive, academic lens. He might bombard you with questions not to belittle, but because he’s fascinated and genuinely wants to learn how best to support you.

“So, how does this impact your perception of yourself? What can I do to accommodate your needs?” His tone would be clinical, but his intention kind.

He’d research queer or trans topics extensively, likely overwhelming you with resources and information. “I’ve compiled some data you might find helpful.”

He’s a bit socially awkward, so his attempts to express support might come across as stiff or overly formal, but his care is evident in his actions.

The Theta Segment

Theta is playful and teases everyone, but his reaction would surprise you with its sincerity. “Really? That’s awesome! Now, let’s mess with everyone else by confusing them about your pronouns for fun.”

He’d lighten the mood with jokes, but they’d never be at your expense. Instead, he’d use humor to make you feel at ease and ensure you knew he accepted you wholeheartedly.

Theta would also go out of his way to validate you, casually working affirming comments into conversations without making a big deal out of it.

“You’re already the coolest person here; this just cements it.”

The Zeta Segment

Zeta doesn’t say much, so his reaction would be subtle but deeply supportive. A nod of acknowledgment, a small smile, these gestures would say everything.

He’s not one for grand speeches, but his actions speak louder than words. He’d ensure you felt respected and cared for without making a fuss.

If anyone tried to disrespect you, Zeta would be the silent enforcer, using his presence to intimidate them into backing off.

As a collective, the segments might bicker over the best way to support you, each with their own approach. But the one thing they’d all agree on is that you’re their kid, and they’d defend you fiercely.

Prime would eventually step in to coordinate their efforts, ensuring that they didn’t overwhelm you with their differing reactions.

The lab might become a bit chaotic at first as they adjust to any changes you’ve shared, but their love for you is unwavering. Whether you’re queer, trans, or simply figuring yourself out, they’d all stand by your side.

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

there is this idea that crime is caused by poverty. it's so popular that people state it as fact. and i think there might be some truth to it. but honestly, i think it's overstated and the relationship between crime and poverty is a lot more complex than people think.

just anecdotally speaking, it never sat well with me because my personal experience has been that criminals tend to be opportunistic predators not people acting out of desperation. i knew lots of people who shoplifted or robbed people and almost none of them were so desperately impoverished that they needed to resort to crime.

they chose crime because it was easy money. there was nothing preventing them from getting a job. they just didn't want to work a 9 to 5. the bandit lifestyle was just a lot more convenient. let those other suckers work their asses off and then you can just rob them. i knew people who were living comfortable middle class lifestyles from boosting and drug dealing.

and the irony is, this sort of behavior actually impoverished our community in a lot of ways. it seemed to me like the crime came first. when my parents group here this area was really nice. then in the 90s and 00s crime became rampant and the entire community went to shit for a variety of reasons (luckily things have turned around in recent years thanks to some tough-on-crime policies). my own family (which was below the poverty line for most of my childhood) has been stolen from multiple times (including our car one time which really fucked us over). these people weren't robin hoods stealing from the rich and giving to the poor and they also weren't impoverished victims just trying to survive. these people were just straight up predators without a conscience.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think we can absolutely criticize how gender dysphoria is viewed and defined, but sometimes, I think people can swing too far in the other direction to say that gender dysphoria doesn't exist at all, or that anybody who claims to have gender dysphoria simply have internalized transphobia. I really don't think this is helpful to trans people who are dysphoric, and it really puts us in a shameful position wherein our feelings are deemed proof of being problematic or transphobic.

I absolutely don't think dysphoria is required whatsoever to be trans - I hope my blog has made this position clear. I just hate the way dysphoria is understood by cis doctors and medical professionals, who typically do not talk to or try to understand their dysphoric patients. I don't think the solution is to blame dysphoric trans people, though (or non-dysphoric trans people!). We didn't ask for the state of transphobic healthcare. We need to put the blame where it lies - with biased professionals who don't want to accurately understand dysphoria and how it can overlap with trans identity and the transphobic society many of us live in.

[contagious-watermelon]

It's interesting to me that understandings of transsexuality have been almost exclusively filtered through the lens of queerness and the social aspects of gender. In other words, that the "T" was added to "LGBT." I've thought for a while that in a lot of cases, transness — and specifically dysphoria — makes a lot more sense when analyzed through the lens of disability rather than through queerness. (Personally I see it as being at the intersection between those things.)

I think that a theory of transsexuality would be incomplete without taking into account the societal aspects of gender, yes, but it seems to be similarly incomplete in the popular understanding of it.

I've seen a lot of discussion in the stuff I've read by disabled people about the contention between being objectively harmed or, well, disabled, by your disability, but still wanting to be proud of it or finding identity in it regardless. A lot of autistic communities, I've noticed, talk a lot about the fact that being autistic is difficult; it's made worse by other people's reactions to it, but it still is hard on its own (e.g. auditory overstimulation); yet people still can say that they'd rather be autistic than not. Or they may say they wish they weren't, but that they've come to terms with it because it's not exactly changeable.

Point is, there's open discussion about the differences between inherent challenges to your disability regardless of society, the ways which ableism makes things more difficult, and the contention of finding identity and community in your disability despite that. (And I use autism as an example because I'm autistic; I don't want to speak for, say, a physically disabled community as I'm able-bodied. But I have seen similar discussions there as well.)

The trans community, as I've seen, doesn't really have that. We're polarized between the extremely self-hating people who think that being trans is a curse and that people who like being trans are just fakers co-opting transness, and the toxically positive contingent who refuse to engage with the fact that sometimes dysphoria really does just hurt. And also that transphobia exists.

There's also the fact that in many ways, dysphoria is actually disabling. It isn't for everyone, and part of the problem is that transness as a concept covers so many things that analyzing it through just one lens will always be incomplete, but for me at least it caused me a lot of depression and dissociation, and made it difficult-to-impossible to interact with other people or function at my classes. Back before I medically transitioned, I related a lot to some descriptions by disabled people about their chronic pain, because my dysphoria effectively was chronic psychological pain. I don't want to say it's the same thing, because obviously I've only experienced one of those things, and dysphoria has a treatment while many (all?) chronic illnesses don't, but nevertheless it was a comforting lens to think of my dysphoria through in the time before I got top surgery.

Also of note is the way both our communities are treated by the medical establishment. I've heard many horror stories by disabled people of how doctors simply refuse to diagnose them or give them issues with their meds. Trans people obviously also have to deal with the shit that doctors put out in order to get access to HRT and any necessary surgeries. People deride HRT, saying that we shouldn't take it because it'll "make you a medical patient for life." People act like mental pain isn't real — calling depression fake, acting like because things like fibromyalgia aren't "real pain" that it shouldn't bother you so much, etc. — and that extends too into the way they dismiss the pain of gender dysphoria.

So, I don't really understand why the trans community has taken so many pains to disavow themselves from being considered even remotely similar to disabled people. I know that the common refrain, "we're not mentally ill!" is meant to combat the idea that we're deluded into thinking that we're a "different gender" than we really are, but the effect is throwing actually mentally ill trans people under the bus. The insistence that there's no way that dysphoria should be considered a disorder because there's nothing wrong with us — I just think that we could take a hint or two from the way that disabled people theorize about this subject.

[canisvesperus]

Are we going to talk about the thinly veiled ableism towards high support needs autistic adults who frequent websites like deviantart for their hyperspecific non-fandomizable special interests, infrequent hygiene practices, “weird fetishes”, that are all clearly shaped by an experience with neurodiversity that is foreign to all y’all rebranded Asperger’s supremacists

[sadaveniren]

Hi Sada! I saw your nasty anon and I thought i’d balance the hate with some love: you’re my favorite blog on Tumblr! I always look to see if you posted and I love reading your thoughts on things! Lots of love xx

🫶🏻 thank you so much!!!! I’m glad to know I entertain the majority of you!! I’m just here for a laugh and to enjoy myself and if other people like it all the better 🥰

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[backslashdelta]

me talking about curating your online space: you should block anybody you want for any reason!! you should even block me if you want!!

me when somebody actually blocks me: oh :(

[kayzero]

MIRAKANE CONTENT ... literally jumps up and down in joy fr fr

I was gonna answer this privately because I’m gonna delete the thing you’re referring to in a day or so, so this ask won’t make much sense after that happens, but I started rambling about something that Wasn’t That so I guess it can be public

but yeah! Mirakane! The murderest of lesbians that I’m aware of! and also one of them unequivocally hates the other for crimes committed in the past except she isn’t aware that those crimes were committed by this specific murder lesbian!

idk if Mirakane is requited in the “True End” Route of ZWG, i have no idea if my Akane is capable of separating The Person Mira from The Act Of Killing Sally Valentine and therefore Getting Akane’s Father Sentenced To Death. the attraction would have to be present in the first place for her to even put effort into trying to untangle that knot, but i suppose a world exists where Akane has enough distance to say “there’s no way Tiny Mira had the foresight to see past the immediate consequences of her murder, I should instead get mad at the American Court System for killing a man, who was not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to have killed the woman in question, just because he himself was not American”

don’t know if that world is this world

but you know what, I will always support and spread Aromantic Lesbian Mira Propaganda

and i maintain that the only reason Mira ever attached herself to Eric in canon was because he attached himself to her first and she had enough self loathing to go “welp, this is probably the best I’m ever gonna get, even if I don’t like it I guess it isn’t unpleasant”

[lilworms]

i am deeply struggling to find the right words to describe the way i feel about this situation but this isn’t something i can hold back much longer

[love-strikes-thrice]

[Image Description: screenshot of Tumblr tags on light mode.

Tags read:

Getting real suspicious about the conflation of fantasy with reality in fandom.

"You must only read good and pure things! Otherwise you're secretly evil (smiley face)" is the song of book burners and history revisionists.

The growing number of fans treating shipping as a sign of moral purity is troubling at best and terrifying at worst.

Never trust someone who tells you to police your thoughts.

Never trust someone who tells you that bad thoughts are the same as bad actions.

And most of all.

Never trust a purity spiral.

Fandom

ID End]

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[bunveh]

every once in a while I have to sit and sorta contemplate whether or not I’m a sharing or non sharing self shipper bc I’m mostly sharing ! It’s just sometimes when I’m in a bad place and I see smth it kinda adds fuel to the fire and makes me feel odd about it lol