#that said if someone replies 'google it' or 'do your own research' i do then assume they made it all up

[proteusolm]

I wish there was a way to phrase a request for a source to back up what someone is saying which makes it absolutely clear that I am genuinely asking and want to read more about it. I feel like it always comes off as a passive-aggressive way to imply that they're talking out of their ass.

Sometimes I read something online about a topic I consider myself knowledgeable on that I don't immediately recognize as true, and I want to read where the person got the information to either learn a new thing that surprises me or figure out where that inaccurate perspective might be coming from, you know? Not as a backhanded online argument tactic.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! When you decided to go for an adhd diagnosis, is there a reason you went to the type of place you chose? I know you ended up having a difficult time with them after your evaluation. Did you go to your pcp first or try any other routes?

I’m starting to feel very heavily impacted by what I’m fairly certain is undiagnosed adhd, and I really want to try medication to see if it helps, but as I’m sure you’re aware, the process of making appointments is very difficult for one with undiagnosed adhd. Sigh. I’m wondering if it’s worth it to try and just make an appointment with my regular doctor to see if that gets me anywhere. But I know that doctors tend to be very cautious when prescribing, and I don’t want to bother with completely pointless appointments.

I just feel so overwhelmed when I think about trying anything else.

Yeah, I started working on getting evaluated in 2019 and only managed it in 2022, so I'm familiar with The Delay :D It never occurred to me to go through my primary care doctor -- I haven't had one for most of my adult life, because my insurance doesn't require it in order to see my specialist, and I just use a clinic if I'm sick. If you have a PCP you trust that's probably your best bet. You don't need to talk to them about prescribing, even, just talk about "I wonder if you have a recommendation for where I might get evaluated." You might even be able to get a recommendation without making a formal appointment. But if you get pushback on getting evaluated, then you can venture out on your own (more on this below).

I had a recommendation for a testing site, and I called a handful of times in 2019, but they never called back -- the desk person would say "Leave a message for our scheduler" and I'd say "Is there any way I can talk to a person? I keep leaving messages that don't get returned" and they'd say "Oh, they'll definitely return it this time" and that never happened. So by about mid-2019 I gave up and said I'd deal with it later. I started to research it in 2020, but then there was a global pandemic and I didn't want to be spending hours on end in a small room in a medical center.

And honestly, whenever I spoke about it to someone who wasn't a peer -- a parent, a doctor, etc -- I'd get a skeptical look and the response, "But you're so put-together and you're successful. Why would you think you have ADHD?" And I internalized that a little, to the point where I thought, yeah, I'm coping fine, it's not like anything would change other than maybe medication, why bother? Which...

That worked until it didn't, sometime in late 2021.

It worked until I looked at my life, which was not falling apart, and could see it fraying, and that if it did fall apart, it would be catastrophic. So my resolution for 2022 was to get evaluated. If it was ADHD, to get medicated; if it wasn't ADHD, to get help because clearly my life was not going as well as it looked.

So I just...sat down with an empty spreadsheet and I started googling "adult adhd evaluation chicago" (If you're not in a major city, I'd google your state or major cities nearby instead). Every site I found, I recorded the URL, my thoughts on the site, and their process for making an appointment. Once I had a list of places, I started "cold-calling" -- mostly via email, just reaching out to each place and recording the date and how I contacted them. When they answered, I recorded the date they replied and whether I responded.

The place I ended up going wasn't the first to call me back but they WERE the most responsive, and the first to schedule me for the evaluation (I did save the spreadsheet in case that fell through). They did a good job, more or less; I had struggles with them, but those were more to do with the fact that the woman who evaluated me already had one foot out the door and left my eval unwritten, meaning someone else had to take up the slack, which took time. And it at least helped to be able to say to my prescribing psych, during our first meeting, "Look, I have a diagnosis but I'm struggling to get the paperwork from them, and I'm really hanging on by a fingernail here." He gave me a much-abbreviated evaluation (basically a 20-minute questionnaire) and was able to prescribe for me that day.

So your other option is to just...find a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD and/or ADHD medication management, make an appointment, and say, "I don't think I have it in me to set up a longform evaluation for this. I'm wondering if you can help me get evaluated and get some help." One of my goals was to get medicated but your overall goal is not medication -- the goal is help, and that just often happens to be medication. This isn't like, a trick to get a prescription or to manage a suspicious doctor (those have their place, believe me I know) -- your goal in getting treatment should always be to improve your life. But it's okay to want medication, you just have to want it in terms of improving quality of life, not medication qua medication.

So on the one hand, you sound like you need help, and you should work towards getting it -- but on the other, bear in mind that this sometimes just takes the time it takes, and keep your eyes on the goal. If you can be doing something, do it, and if you can't, then don't feel guilty that you can't.

Good luck :)

[flamingo-writes]

Hello Flamingo!!! how are you? I hope ok.

This is an idea that came to my head a few weeks ago, if you'd like to write it, it's up to you! I hope you like it💕

Reader who was generating a great addiction to the medications that were prescribed for his anxiety and depression, adding other types of addictions such as cigarettes or alcohol, meets Hobie/Spider-Punk and helps they with this problem, empathizing with their situation, Hobie would visit Reader from time to time to ask how things are going or develop some kind of relationship with they.

I think it's an essence of Hobie that you don't often see and I think it's something he would do quite often.

I am finally replying to this! Jesus, I am so SORRY for the delay!

I absolutely loved this request! And I learned so much about addictions during my research. And got google constantly concerned offering me hotlines every google search.

Flirting With An Addiction — Hobie x GN!Reader

Title based of the song Particles by Nothing But Thieves. Love this band, love this song, helped me set the mood for the angsty parts. Especially any live or acoustic version ����

A/N: i have to clear some stuff first, because some of you are too quick to feel victimised. I do not specify colour nor gender of the reader. I do mention the reader looks pale at some point. Now, because it happened to me once, that someone tried to get sassy with me because dark skin can’t get pale, yes, yes it can. If you have a heartbeat you can get pale, period. Pale is not only a synonym for white, paleness is a medical term used to describe the loss of normal colour in skin or membranes. Pale is a way to describe someone who presents paleness. If you have dark skin, you can still get pale when you’re sick.

Warnings: drug consumption, needles, depictions of several withdrawals symptoms like stomach issues (emetophobia), depression, anxiety,

Word count: 2.7K

Hearing from your parents first hand that you had gone missing was the worst that could have happened to Hobie Brown. You were his favourite person, his best friend, his go to confidant, his partner in crime. And hearing you had gone missing felt like the ground on his feet started crumpling down. His lungs ran out of breath as he mouthed:

"What?”

And your mother explained, drowning in her own tears. And even as she did, he couldn’t understand what was coming out of her mouth, as a horrendous buzz was drilling his brain. He simply heard: "drugs" "weed" "ecstasy" "used needle" "gone". His stomach turned, making him feel nauseous as he couldn’t find anything to say to your parents other than:

"I’m so sorry" he said. "I could’ve helped them" he said. "I wasn’t there for them," he said. And with that, he was gone. Somewhere along the line, he put his mask back on and took off.

Pav and Gwen were there with him when it happened. What started as an innocent hangout at his place, turned into a search party. When Hobie thought of inviting you over as well and realising you weren’t picking up the phone in your house, he decided to look for you. You weren’t at your place, you weren’t at his, your coworkers said you hadn’t showed up for work in three days, and that’s when he went to your mother.

"They’ve been gone for the last five days…" were the last things he heard before that painful buzz started echoing in his head.

He took off. And he’d never swung so fast in his entire life. Pav and Gwen didn’t even have the chance to exchange glances when both of them were running after him. "Running". Between not being familiarised with Old York’s building distribution, nor being familiarised with the streets, they had absolutely no clue where Hobie was heading. They simply guessed Hobie knew where you were.

Boy, we’re they wrong.

Hobie had not the faintest clue where you were. He had a notion of where you could be. But with every fibre in his body he wished he was wrong. "Used needle" was perhaps his best clue, and possibly the one that terrified him the most.

He had a pretty decent notion of where the most famous crack houses were. He’d grown in the streets, of course he knew. More than once he’d been in them, not to make business, but because he was looking for something or someone, or doing Spider-Man duties. And truth was, the very last person he thought he’d ever go looking into a crack house was you.

As he arrived to the first one and kicked the door open, the few junkies there flinched, expecting to see a copper. But instead they saw Spider-Man. He looked around. Pushers, burnouts, and crunched junkies passed out on the floor. Some, Hobie wasn’t even sure they were still alive. He walked around looking for you.

Pav and Gwen caught up with him, and soon realised what was going on. Hobie did not know where you were, he was looking for you. Gwen didn’t have much experience with the darker side of her New York, she was creeped out. Pav, on the other hand, was the youngest of the gang. And he’d been Spider-Man for so little, he hadn’t had the misfortune to end up in the lower parts of Mumbattan. Pav was terrified.

"Hobie?” Gwen asked as he quickly walked out of the flat.

"Not ‘ere" He mumbled, more to himself and took off again.

It went on like that for the next few hours. Crack house after crack house. Desperately looking for you, whether you were baked out of your mind, or simply OD. But the fact that with every place he went to, his chances of finding you grew narrower and narrower, he didn’t know what he preferred. To find you dead on the floor of one of those nasty places, or not finding you at all. With each location, Hobie’s anxiety grew, his movements became clumsier, rougher, even more aggressive.

"Hobie, wait—" Pav yelled after the fifth crack house.

But Hobie didn’t stop. He listened, but his mind was rushing with adrenaline, hyper focusing on his task at hand: finding you.

The guilt accumulated in his chest, weighting more and more with every passing minute. Why was he even feeling guilty for? It’s not like he’d given you the drugs, and forced a needle up your arm. But he knew you had problems with loneliness, he knew about your consuming anxiety and your seasonal depression. He knew you had a strange relationship with your medication. He knew you were picking up a liking for recreational drugs. Harmless stuff like weed and shrooms. Acid at most. He should’ve imagined you’d eventually try to stray into the drugs you swore never to mess with. Ice, dust, junk…He should’ve guessed something like this was going to happen. But he was busy. He was busy being Spider-Man, he was busy jumping between universes. He was busy helping others, but not helping you. Not when he knew you had it rough. That guilt consumed him. He was busy helping everyone else, but you. He was busy helping people from another universe, but not that one person who he considered his family, his world. And boy, that guilt was drowning him.

Was it good luck or bad luck when he found you? He couldn’t tell. He felt his blood turn cold the moment he saw you.

Despite the pale look on your face, and the dark circles under your eyes, but you looked so peaceful. Lying on a dirty mattress, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, relaxed face. You looked so beautiful in the most disturbing way. Thinner than what Hobie remembered. And so terrifyingly still. Were you alive and lost in some euphoric dream? Or were you dead? It was hard to tell. You didn’t seem to be breathing.

Hobie rushed to your side, and he quickly checked your pulse. He called your name, almost in a desperate cry as his eyes quickly teared up behind his mask with the most suffocating feeling of powerlessness and incompetence that he’d ever felt washed over him. You groaned in response, unable to form coherent words and simply stuck to noises, your mind was far too dissolved, drowned in heroine, trapping you in a haze.

He checked your pulse. He checked your breathing. Your eyes of course were almost completely black due to the high. And you had a couple of marks on your arms from needles. Hobie didn’t even dare to count them, the less he knew about your newfound addiction the better for him, or so he thought. He looked around and next to the mattress there were various classic heroine use paraphernalia, making Hobie’s throat close.

"No, no, no, no baby…" Hobie whispered as he stared at you as you lied there, relaxed and heavy in his arms. He pulled his mask off to better look at you. For you to look at him if you were there by any chance. "Not heroine, why heroine…" He whispered as he pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. "You knew heroine wasn’t to be messed with, one time is fine, two makes you an addict, sweet’eart…" He purred with his lips pressed against your skin.

"Hobie…" Gwen said gently touching his shoulder.

"We have to go," Hobie said at once as he carried you.

Once in his boathouse, Hobie gently set you down on his bed as he sat on the edge and stared at you attentively. His eyes looking miserable, as he caressed your cheek delicately.

"Hobie?” Pav said, slowly walking inside his room. "We’re very sorry…"

"I am too…" He murmured in response.

"Can we help?” Gwen asked softly.

Hobie was ready to tell them to leave him alone for a while, when he actually thought of something.

"Yes…"

He then gave them a short shopping list with food and over the counter painkillers and some medication for stomach issues. It seemed very random to them, but in that moment Hobie thought he’d keep you in his boat and help you through your detox. At least as long as he could. A week or two, to start, and from then, he’d improvise along the way.

His impulsive and spontaneous thought of keeping you there over the period of detox didn’t really prepare him for the absolute torture it turned out to be.

To him, it was terribly, awfully, agonisingly painful. Watching you suffer like that. The way you whined and curled up on his bed, crying in silence from the pain, dealing with the tummy issues. The nausea, the not being able to leave the bathroom, looking weak, constantly upset, the shivering, and awful ups and downs in your anxiety and your mood.

Everything hurt, your head, your limbs, every muscle in your body, your stomach, even organs you couldn’t exactly pin point where they were, now you could because of the sharp pain. Even the smell of food made you excruciatingly nauseous, and puke green bile across the room, even feeling nausea was painful. It was hell. You were dying, you were sure your entire body was shutting down and you were going to die in this aching hell. Too anxious to sleep, to weak to move, too nauseous to do as much as roll over on the bed, too shaky to even be able to hold things in your hands. Sometimes you didn’t even feel your limbs at all for hours.

He could only imagine how it was like for you. How it was going inside your head. But sitting and watching was awful for him. He wanted to help, and from an objective point of view he knew he was helping, but he didn’t want you to hurt. He wished time and time again that he was able to take that pain away from you. The first three days were the peak of your suffering. And there was nothing Hobie could do other than keep an eye on you and get you what you needed.

When the physical symptoms started to subside, when you were able to keep food in your stomach, and when you stopped complaining about everything hurting, the psychological symptoms began. The consuming guilt and anxiety, the fear of showing up at work or at your parents’ house, the fear of the disappointment. Pitying yourself, pulling yourself down into that depressive hole you’d been digging.

Crying every night before going to bed became a recurrent event. You crying your heart out as Hobie held you tightly in his arms, comforted you until you’d fall asleep. You cried several times a day, but the one before bed was always the worst.

And soon, it became a recurrent event. Hobie keeping you all in one piece, as you cried and your heart broke all over again. His long yet strong and warm arms managed to hold you together every single night. Soon, sleeping together became a habit. And more than a habit, soon, Hobie’s company became a better painkiller than the pills you took. His scent managed to soothe the nausea which was thankfully decreasing with every day. His warmth seemed to help you control the shivers and the goosebumps. His voice quieted down the mean anxious thoughts in your brain. His company drifted you to sleep for several hours without waking up with tachycardia and short breath.

Falling asleep in his arms became just the right medication, although the long term effects were still there. But they were much bearable. The mornings were the best time of the day. First thing in the morning, drowned in the aftermath of that sleepy haze, you’d always find yourself staring at Hobie.

He didn't like mornings, he wasn’t a morning person. But something about seeing him sleep, his face relaxed, thick lips slightly parted, and the dim sunlight hitting his face, making him look absolutely gorgeous. Had he always been this attractive? Easy, yes; he had always been an attractive lad. But had you always felt that feeling in your heart? That was new. And you were sure it was not the usual tachycardia you’d get from the drugs, but something Hobie did unconsciously.

"You know it’s real creepy that you stare at people while they sleep…” He whispered softly as he woke up slowly, opening his eyes slowly and seeing you staring at him with a subtle and sweet smile on your lips.

"Shut up" You chuckled.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was low and raspy, still creeping with sleep.

"Better…although that might change in a couple of hours" You sighed, already getting mentally ready for the awful up and downs in your mood and anxiety.

"I’m sorry"

"That my life now, I guess"

"It’ll get better…it’s been getting better hasn’t it?" He immediately added as he looked at you, slightly more awake, taking in the details of your face, as you were snuggled next to him, most of your body touching his, sharing the same comforting heat.

"Yeah I think so" You purred.

"Hey, I’ve got you, okay? Not letting you fall again into that dark place"He whispered, leaning forward, bumping his forehead against yours, as one of his hands caressed you cheek, making your heart skip a beat.

"Thank you" You closed you eyes, as you savoured this sweet intimate moment with Hobie.

"Don’t mention it, luv"

"But I mean it…" You whispered. "You’ve been basically the entire time here…keeping an eye on me…ignoring your Spider-Man duties…I’ve heard you argue with that Miguel guy over your watch…"

"He can fuck off," He said with a cheerful whisper and a chuckle "he’s got another hundreds of spider-people at his service, he doesn’t miss me, he just likes to be patronising…"

"I still appreciate it very much…" Your eyes opened slowly with your statement as you stared into his eyes, and he seemed to immediately get lost in yours.

"No problem…I’d do anything for you…"

You both stared into each other’s eyes. And something about his eyes was slightly different. The eyes you grew up looking at, those eyes you knew how to read perfectly, almost being able to read his thoughts, now had something slightly different about them. Something that made your heart race and your cheeks grow hot. Something Hobie saw reflected in your own.

And you both read each other’s minds. And you both leaned forward without having to be told. Closing your eyes, you felt your breath leave your lungs when you felt his warm lips against yours.

Hobie wasn’t by any means a slow tender guy, he was the passionate dude who knew how to use his tongue. Not this time. This time he felt the world stop, time stop, and all there was, was you. And he wanted to savour it. He kissed you slower than he was used to. The kiss was gentler than what he was used to. He was used to kissing strangers, perhaps someone he shared chemistry with, but never really someone he cared for as much as you. This felt far more special, far more unique. This felt like something he could get addicted to, and something he wanted to relive often.

As he broke the kiss slowly, catching his breath, he opened his eyes and stared at you as you remained with your eyes closed, still processing what you’d felt. He smiled and bumped his forehead against yours.

"I promise you, you’ll be alright, okay? I’ll make sure you’re safe and sound…even if it kills me" He reassured you.

"Please don’t say that," You murmured.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Anything that’s in some way related to you dying," Hobie chuckled, thinking your concerns were very cute, although very understandable as well.

"Fine…" He replied "I’ll make sure you’re safe and sound even if…it’s a near death experience…better?"

“No, not really…" You chuckled, "but I appreciate the effort

"Hey, you mean so much to me, you know that?"

"You mean mean so much to me too…"

[nuggetsofgems]

How you met BTS: (Hyung line)

A/N: I am the first person to admit I love reading these kinds of fics. There is something so wholesome and wonderful about them. Somewhere along the way I made up my own little universe and I thought I should write it down for others to enjoy. With that being said this is the first time I really wrote anything like this. I know I haven't 100% nailed the personalities of the members but I hope it is still an enjoyable read.

Oh! One more thing. I am not a gymnast, not a neurosurgeon, and I don’t know much about art. I thought it would be fun to learn more about these topics for this series. I did just basic google searches for this one. I plan on doing more thorough research in the future. If you know anything about these topics, I got anything wrong, or know any good resources so I can learn more let me know!

Warnings: mentions of anxiety but nothing too graphic. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Kim Seokjin

You meet Jin through a mutual friend. You weren’t looking for a significant other at the time. Heck, you weren’t even planning on living in Korea. However, your best friend, Ha-Yun, happened to give birth to two baby girls. She is a single mom, the father disappeared as soon as he heard about the pregnancy, and desperately needed help. You of course volunteered to help your best friend. She was there for you through thick and thin and you always promised to do the same for her.

Thank goodness you were on sabbatical for your job. You dropped everything just to be with her. It was the second week of your stay when you officially met Kim Seokjin. Ha-Yun had just fallen asleep along with her baby Ae-Cha. However, Mi Cha just couldn’t sleep so you took it upon yourself to help her. You just gave Mi Cha her bottle and were in the process of burping her when Seokjin knocked on the door.

He would tell you later that he never saw someone more beautiful than you. When you opened that door your hair was up in the messiest of buns, your clothes wrinkled, a burping rag over your shoulder covered in whatever Mi Cha just burped up, dark circles under your eyes, but with the most loving eyes and gentle smile. 

“Hi, can I help you?” You asked so softly as not to disturb the calm atmosphere. 

“Hello. I’m Kim Seokjin. I am here to visit Chang Ha-Yun. She’s a dear friend of mine.” He replied with a kind smile.

“You just missed her. She’s sleeping.” You replied taking off the burping rag and bouncing Mi Cha gently in your arms.

“Well, that is poor timing on my end. I knew I should have called.” Jin muttered to himself.

“Hey, it’s okay. Come in. Yunnie had a feeling you would be coming over today. She gave me clear instructions to let you in and tell you to make yourself at home.” You chuckled leading him inside. 

“Thank you. You must be the famous Y/N I have heard so much about.” Jin responded.

“I am and this little one is Mi Cha.” You smiled brightly at him as Mi Cha cooed.

“It is a pleasure to meet you both.” Jin returned the bright smile.

Seokjin stayed for the rest of the week not only helping Ha-Yun with household chores (mostly building furniture and fixing household appliances) but also helping with the cooking, cleaning, and the babies. He became your shadow helping you with everything. He was great company and by the end of the week, you both exchanged numbers much to Ha-Yun’s glee.

Min Yoongi

You were born with two best friends by your side. Tripletts much to your mother's joy and your father's dismay. They were your everything. They were the sun and moon to your earth. They were the land and sky to your ocean. You weren’t complete without each other. Yet it was always written in the stars that you three would part. Nevaeh the oldest of you three would travel to England to study art. You would become an author. And Alice the youngest of you three would become a make-up artist working with some of the biggest K-Pop stars in the industry.  You three were as busy as bees in your chosen careers. 

Well during an unassuming Wednesday in November you had your monthly video call with your sisters. Navaeh was living her best life in England! She went on and on about the culture, architecture, and art. Meanwhile, Alice disclosed she was going through a depression spell. She didn’t say much other than she just felt so alone. 

It was later that night you bought a ticket to see Alice. The next morning was bright and the air was warm. You went up to your sister’s apartment door with your backpack your trusty laptop and your suitcase. You knocked on the door and waited patiently. 

“Coming!” She called out rushing to the door.

Your sister opened the door still in her pajamas, her hair an unkept mess, and just by the look on her face, you could tell she just rolled out of bed.

“Morning Alice! I missed you.” You whispered giving her a light hug.

“Y/n! I can’t believe that you are here.” Alice, bless her, returned the hug and started softly crying.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m here. I’m here. Now let’s go inside and I will make you breakfast.” You cooed leading your sister to her kitchen, after bringing in your things and shutting the door of course, making her the favorite breakfast of her childhood chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles. 

Alice gave you a watery smile and gobbled down everything you put in front of her. Now that you were face to face with her you saw the bags under her eyes. You saw the sparkle that was in her eyes was significantly dimmed. She seemed thinner and exhausted. With that being said she seemed at ease with you here. You sat next to her and ate with her.

Breakfast went by fast. Your sister went to freshen up, showered, and changed into an outfit she felt comfortable enough in to face the day.

“So I am off today. What do you wanna do Y/N?” Alice asked looking at you with big eyes. 

“I’m here for you. You decide.” You replied giving her a soft smile. 

That’s when her phone went off. She seemed confused but answered. You couldn’t gather much from the conversation other than apparently you were going with her somewhere.

“Y/N please don’t hate me. But I have to go to work. Will you come with me?” Her eyes pleaded with you.

“Of course! I would be honored!” You replied jumping off her couch and grabbing your backpack. “Come on Alice! It is time for an adventure.” 

You both went on a bus to your destination. To be completely honest you were not paying attention to where you were going. You were more focused on making your sister smile. You both did arrive safely. Alice got you both through security and into the room where makeup artists do their magic. 

Alice had left you in that room promising she would be back as soon as she could. Apparently, she needed a bathroom break. You decided the best way to use your time would to be look around the room. You had totally underestimated the amount of makeup these artists needed to do their job. 

“Alice-ah isn’t today your day off?” A voice from behind you started you.

You turned around only to see Min Yoongi from BTS. Right. Alice works with K-Pop idols. Don’t panic.

“I’m sorry. I’m not Alice.” You reply bowing your head wishing your sister would turn up. 

“Don’t be silly. If you aren’t Alice why do you look exactly like her?” Yoongi asked. His feline eyes searched yours. His lips twitched up into a smirk. 

“Yoongi hyung! You won’t believe who we found in the hallway! Alice Noona is here on her day off to help with the music video!” Jungkook practically yelled storming into the room with your sister being dragged behind him. 

You let out a relieved breath as you ran to your sister giving her a big hug. 

“Wait. Who’s this Alice?” Yoongi asked looking between you two.

“Do you remember how I mentioned I have two sisters?” Alice asked. The members nodded their heads.

“Well let me introduce my middle sister. Y/N. The world-renowned author.” Alice replied with a bright smile.

Jung Hoseok

People are always surprised when you tell people that you meet Hoseok at a dance convention. Yet you are probably one of the worst dancers in Korea. You have always been told that you danced to the beat of your own drum. You had your own internal song that you and only you knew the rhythm. Your family was full of dancers. Yet, you decided to become a gymnast. That way you decided the rhythm instead of it being decided for you. 

It turns out you were good at gymnastics. You loved it and you practiced hard. Your favorites were uneven parallel bars and the balance beam. Despite not enjoying being in the spotlight you had participated in many gymnastic events and competitions. You did very well and won many awards. Once you were old enough you jokingly sent an application to be a coach for the next upcoming Olympians. However, they hired you very quickly and you were over the moon.

 This is how you found yourself at a dance convention of all things. You were there with the five young women who would be competing at the Olympics. One of the other coaches thought it would be a great idea to go to this dance convention to empower, inspire, and team build. The idea sounded lovely until you lost your team. 

You found yourself leaning against the wall near the women's bathroom deeply sighing. No one in your team was answering their phones and despite your frantic searching, you could not find anyone you recognized. You felt the anxiety bubbling in your chest, tears building in your eyes, and your breathing becoming uneven.

“Excuse me, are you alright?” You looked up surprised to see BTS’s Hobi. You tried to not freak out standing in front of one of your idols.

“I lost my team. I cannot find them anywhere.” You replied sighing and looking down at your feet.

“Team?” Hoseok asked tilting his head. 

“I am one of the coaches for our future Olympians.” You said sheepishly scratching the back of your head.

“That's really cool!” He replied. 

You nodded your head. 

“Come on! Let’s go find your team.” Hoseok said pulling you toward where the events were taking place. 

After about half an hour of searching you found your team. You couldn’t help but tackle hug the five young girls in your care. 

“Unnie there you are! We were looking for you!” The youngest said happily hugging you back.

“I see you found your team,” Hobi said appearing behind you.

“Thank you so much for helping me.” You turn around, after escaping the group hug and bowing to him.

“You are the most welcome. This convention lasts two more days. Why don’t we exchange numbers? Just in case?” He replied bowing back with a giant smile.  

Kim Namjoon

Life as a neurosurgeon is difficult. Every person you ever operated on would never ever be the same again. Sometimes when that reality becomes too heavy for you, you escape to art exhibits.  

One of your best friends and old schoolmates Kang In-Su is a museum curator. His museum is known for its exquisite exhibits. You two have made a deal since you visited the museum so often. You pay him a set fee every month and you would be allowed in whenever business hours were open to the public. 

It was a quiet morning. It was raining and storming outside. It was a perfect day to look at some modern art. Apparently, you were not the only one to think so. 

Your mind drifted as you stared at the painting in front of you. You admired the brush strokes. The colors. The emotion that called to you through the painting. Warm tears fell down your face. 

“Are you alright?” A gentle voice asks from beside you.

“Yes, I am quite alright. I always cry looking at art. It’s amazing what the brain can do.” You reply not looking over at the stranger.

The stranger hummed in response. You two stood there looking at the art. You two seemed to follow each other around the museum. Not saying anything but enjoying each other's presence.

Eventually, you did look at the stranger. He was tall, nicely dressed, had a facemask that covered the lower part of his face, and a hat that obscured the rest. You found his presence calming.

“Thank you for looking at this exhibit with me. I have to get going. I have an appointment I need to get to.” You whispered to him.

“Of course. Have a great day.” He replied.

“You as well.” You said before heading to the hospital.

It turns out that the stranger is Kim Namjoon from BTS. You often would run into him on quiet days early in the morning. You two got into this habit of walking around the museum together. At first, it was in silence but it eventually led to quiet conversations. 

He learned about your work. You learned about the music industry. He listens to you ramble on about really interesting brain studies and you listen to him ramble about songwriting. You two became immersed in each other's worlds. Then one fateful day Namjoon sought you out before he had to leave the country. Shyly he asked for your number. Of course, you said yes, and well as they say the rest is history.

[lunarianebula872]

Okay ignore the [I'll post an Owl pic later on] thing and yes this Owl pic is old art but oh well.

Anyways wanted to do some of that AU thing that C!Cloud stumbled into to give a concept of the designs [idk what to name this said AU so feel free to give any names for it].

Let's start with little Cloud here who clearly doesn't think to highly of his dads but he puts up with their bs [I put him in a more Chibi style because why not] when he first encounters C!Cloud he asks himself "what did my so called 'dads' do now...?" Because he thinks his dads did something again

let's move on to "Oto-san" Tseng [Google said Oto-san is a word in Japanese that is used for papa but I'm not entirely sure] who is the 2nd one to meet C!Cloud, Tseng due to an incident/accident which almost killed him and made him mute however his stepson Cloud saves him via healing him which does surprise Tseng on how a kid would know strong magic so he wonders what Genesis would think about it

Now onto "Papa" Rufus [whose not a full on asshole] and is the last one to meet C!Cloud and gives C!Cloud a lot of food that he made himself which he's surprisingly good at, when he and C!Cloud talk to each other after C!Cloud woke up from the tranq to the ass [thanks to Rufus] Rufus looks at C!Cloud and says "Cursed? You look a lot more like my son a he's no curse which I can apply to you since your a version of him somehow... you also look like you need more sleep, food, and also a way to heal yourself" to which C!Cloud replies with a "and why should I trust you Rufus? You going to tranq me in the ass again?" Which Rufus explains with "only if you give me a reason to-" he is cut off by C!Cloud who says "before you finish that sentence... I'm older than you" this somewhat annoys Rufus but he's got a lot more patience due to having Tseng [who got injured] and his son to take care of though the question of genocide C!Cloud asks out of the blue does cause Rufus to admit he killed his own father due to the mistreatment of Tseng, the Turks, the SOLDIERs, and his son which gave him the reason to deal with his father.

Okay this may be long but perhaps I should fill in who Owl is [to some extent since he's still a developing oc], Owl is someone with combat experience outside of Shinra [he also does some odd jobs for the company if needed to obtain gil] Owl currently plans to go into Shinra as a Turk due to his knowledge of things that others tend to overlook rather quickly, he's also a night owl so he tends to be up late at night keeping an eye on things then, Owl gets his name due to the tufts of his hair that make him have what an owl 🦉 has on their head due to feathers, Owl is known for his sharp shooting abilities and his way around machetes, tracking, and even hacking enemy tech which does lead to him discovering a rouge group of scientists who don't work for Shinra who have stolen research and resources using fake ids that look eerily similar to their own [some research has to deal with blood samples] which he reports this so it can be dealt with.

Alright this is to long now and it's 3:37am so I'm going to bed... apologies for the slight blur to, @aimeelouart enjoy some more information of the dimension C!Cloud has gotten himself in and even some information about an oc of mine.

[newwwwusername]

Community - Jeff & Study Group - Pride Month Prompt 30 : Aromantic

Warning : Arophobia Requested by : Anonymous on my Google Form Request : I'm not sure if you're taking requests for the Pride Month prompt challenge or not, but I really like aromantic!Jeff Winger and I'd like to read a fic about it on the last day of the challenge if possible Pride Month Prompt : Write a fic in which an aromantic character (can be a canon or headcanoned character) is coming out to/being comforted by/otherwise talking about romantic orientation with their friend(s) or queerplatonic partner Headcanon : Alloaro!Jeff

"Guys, I've realized something about myself" Jeff said with a big smile on his face as he entered the study room. The rest of the group looked up at him.

"You are gay" Pierce guessed.

"Uh, no" Jeff shook his head as he set down his bag by the leg of the table and sat down. "I'm... Aromantic"

The room went still.

"Sorry, you're whatnow?" Shirley asked. Everyone else seemed equally confused- Except for Britta, that is.

"I call bullshit" the blonde spoke up. Everyone looked at her. Jeff seemed uncomfortable.

"Um-

"If you're aromantic, what's with all the advances you've been trying to make on me since day one?" she asked.

"I think you're hot and wanted to have sex with you, not a whole relationship" Jeff said and then winced as he realized how that came out. Britta scoffed. "I didn't mean it like that"

"Okay, Jeff" she rolled her eyes. The man looked hurt, which was odd, but seriously who the hell did he think he was? There were people out there who were actually aromantic and here he was flagging the label around because he had commitment iss-

He got up and left the room.

----------

Abed walked into he and Jeff's dorm room and took in the sad expression on his roommate's face.

"So, what's aromantic?" he asked. Jeff chuckled humorlessly.

"You heard what Britta said" Jeff sighed. "It doesn't matter"

"Britta tends to do surface-level research on a lot of things, but she rarely actually makes an effort to understand them" Abed replied. "I'd like to know what it means to you, since you're the one who this is actually about"

Jeff smiled weakly at his friend before taking a deep breath and giving an explanation.

"I've just never saw myself in a real relationship with anyone" he explained. "Romantically, I mean. Sex is nice. Friends are nice. But the idea of dating someone just isn't all that compelling to me" he continued. "And it's not just an issue of not wanting to commit"

"Okay" Abed said. Jeff stared at him for a moment.

"Okay?"

"Okay" Abed repeated. "Do you want me to tell Britta that?"

"No, no, I'll do it" Jeff replied before groaning in annoyance. "This whole thing is so dumb..."

"I don't think it's dumb"

"Well, thank you, Abed"

----------

"Britta, hey" Jeff said meekly as he approached the blonde in the line of the cafe. She rolled her eyes and looked away but didn't tell him to fuck off, so he supposed he could continue. "I want to talk about what happened"

"Are you done pretending to be something your not so you don't have to own up to your bullshit?"

"Britta, I'm not pretending to be anything, I-"

"Right, right" she laughed humorlessly. "Of course. Because big and mighty Jeff Winger never does anything wrong"

"Britta, lis-"

"He'd never treat a woman like an object he can just fuck and then throw out. No, no, cause he's different and special"

"Brit-"

"He's 'aromantic', so it's all perfectly well and good if he-"

"BRITTA!" he shouted and a few people turned in their direction, concerned. Britta's mouth clamped shut as she stared at the agitated man. "Sorry... Sorry, I didn't mean to yell" he apologized. She still said nothing. "I just... Look, I'll buy your breakfast, but please just... Sit and listen to what I have to say?"

"Okay, Jeff" she agreed quietly before pulling out her phone to text him her order as she sat at one of the smaller tables.

He returned a few minutes later with two coffees, a croissant, and the sandwich that Britta had asked for as well. He sat by her at the table and handed her her breakfast before contemplating his next words, grateful that she just remained patient.

"I've never felt... The urge to get romantically involved with people" he explained. "It's not that I have a fear of commitment or anything like that, I just don't want it" he continued. "And yeah, sex is nice. I like having sex with people, but just so long as we're... Friends. The thought of anything becoming more than platonic fuck buddies just... It isn't appealing to me"

"...Jeff-"

"What?"

"I'm sorry" Britta sighed. Jeff's eyes widened. "I mean, I'm sure you can understand why I was on guard, but still... I shouldn't have said those things. If this is how you really feel, then I'm sorry, and I accept you"

"So... Does that mean we can be fuck buddies now?"

"Very funny"

----------

Jeff walked in for study group with a weak smile on this face. "I'm gonna try this again"

Abed smiled. Britta nodded.

"I am Aromantic" he said, this time with more confidence. In response to the confused looks, he continued. "It just means I don't feel the want or urge to date people. I don't feel that spark, and I'd like for all my relationships to remain platonic"

"Oh, okay" Troy nodded genuinely. "That makes sense"

"Thank you for telling us, Jeff" Shirley smiled.

"This actually makes a lot of sense" Annie laughed lightheartedly.

"Pierce?" Jeff asked, looking at the old man. The man seemed to consider this for a moment before speaking.

"So... You're still gay, right?"

Do not repost on other sites! If you want to participate in this month's challenge, there are 30 LGBT-centered prompts that you can find here

[numerousbees1106]

Wasteland Scraps

Various cut tidbits from my Wastelands story! These are from various chapters, specifically chapters 5-8 :)

…

Where was he?

His limbs were heavy and somewhat tingly, but otherwise responsive and relatively pain-free. He moved to cover his face with a hand, only to smack someone else in their face.

“Uhnhgggg…” said person groaned.

“Max,” Piett called, recognizing that groan from a few-too-many drunken Imperial hangouts.

“Hnng?” Veers moaned again, twitching.

“Max, get off of me.”

The Imperial General swiftly rolled over, flopping next to Piett with no shortage of wordless complaint.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Piett scanned their surroundings.

It seemed to be a medical room of some sort, with a blinding, sterile atmosphere and an abundance of related machinery. An active bacta tank sat in the middle of the room, and a quick buzz from the Mindlink confirmed who it was.

He had been so certain that this week would be his last. Now, bound in chains and forced to kneel in absolute darkness, he wished more than ever that he had died like he was supposed to.

He remembered shattering the mindscape (he refused to think about why he had spiraled, lest he spiral again) and causing his Hivemind to collapse, injured but alive. The others in the group hadn’t been so lucky, and neither had the remainder of all the lifeforms in the base - even the stray tookas loitering around had not been spared.

He remembered his Master looming over him, a scowl on his features as he ordered Red Guards to lift him to a nearby hoverstretcher. He remembered watching as medics from his own fleet approached Piett and Veers, and he remembered the way his Master instructed the guards to cover him with a sheet, lest anyone else see. He remembered the shame, the humiliation that such an order brought, like he was something disgusting that needed to be hidden from view.

Mostly, he remembered how his severed jaw hung grimly from the wire necklace, glinting in the light, making him sick with fear.

“You must grow stronger,” Lord Vader insisted. “It is pertinent for our relationship for you to be able to defeat me in battle, for you to be able to kill me should the need arise.”

Piett blinked at him, stunned.

“Why, in all the Galaxy, would that be a needed skill?” Piett snapped, horrified.

Vader simply tilted his head, equally perplexed.

“It is important for relationships to be balanced, to be equal,” he said, finally. “I have been researching healthy relationships, and that seems to be a recurring sentiment.”

Piett pushed away the amusing absurd mental image of Lord Vader googling “how to have healthy relationship??? help???” and instead continued to stare at his idiot other.

“I must admit, I do not have very much experience with ‘healthy relationships’ or ‘boundaries’ or any of the other things I found in the advice I have received. I suppose that I will be… learning.”

Piett took a deep breath, resisting the urge to place his face in his palms.

“My Lord. Darling. Babe. That’s not what that means.”

Silence, save for the rhythmic breathing.

“They don’t mean physical prowess when they talk about a balanced relationship dynamic, though it is incredibly sweet that you thought so.”

“Then what do they mean?” Vader huffed, annoyed.

“They mean, like, financially, or when it comes to household chores, and stuff,” Piett replied.

“I… I do not have any money, personally,” Vader admitted. Piett just stared at him, unsure of what he meant.

“If necessary, I am permitted by the Emperor to utilize funds given to me, but I do not have anything else.”

“Hold on, excuse me?” Piett squawked, incredulous. “Aren’t you getting paid?”

Another blank stare from underneath the mask - Piett could feel it.

“For what?” He asked.

“For your job.”

“I do not have a job.”

“Then what do you call this?”

Staring at the screen, he found himself enraptured in what he saw, yet in disbelief of it at the same time.

After passing out in the mindscape, Piett had awoken to the crisp, sterile atmosphere of Recovery. The front of his skull had been fractured, just above his frontal lobe, and the medics said it was a miracle that he survived, let alone that he’d continue to survive with no further complications or long-lasting effects. Even more shocking, they said, was that the same exact thing had happened to General Veers.

He had felt much the same way hearing that tale as he did now, staring at the I-SORE (a rather unfortunate name, if you asked Piett - the place really was beautiful, and in no way an actual eyesore) report, seeing his name listed as the co-discoverer of a new species of warbler.

Of course, when Lord Vader had inexplicably called to him, a small bird in his hands, he had been… perplexed? Bemused? Experiencing an odd mixture of ‘what in the galaxy is happening’ and ‘oh shining stars that is SO romantic’? Either way, he didn’t quite know how to express, with words, the confusing mixture of emotions he felt.

He hadn’t seen what Lord Vader had opted to name the bird, or if he had even decided to name it at all. In fact, he hadn’t even known Lord Vader to be the least bit interested in birds, and Piett couldn’t deny the fluttering feeling he felt in his chest when he realized they possibly had a (very unexpected) shared interest. Still, never in his wildest of dreams could he have imagined that Lord Vader would have named the bird after him. And yet, staring in front of him in unyielding text were the words Piett’s Warbler, and Piett felt ready to just pass out then and there.

[michellebyee]

Bra Fitting at Torrid

So, I have always wanted to have a correct bra fitting done. This is my amazing journey.

If I am going to be investing some money into clothing including bras, lingerie and other women’s clothing, I feel that having the correct bra size is important. I started looking around the internet for different stories and saw what other crossdressers had experienced. I guess that is a little of my OCD but if I am going to purchase anything, I have to do my research.

I should have saved the link but I found this amazing story of a crossdresser that found a boutique that helped her out. The owner was nice enough to open for him late after closing. She even asked an employee to stay a little late to help. They went through the whole process. Tried on a couple of different bras. The owner and employee gave their honest opinion. After the correct bra was chosen, they even let her try on some other sexy lingerie and even some shapewear. 

After reading that story, I was determined to find a local store that could provide me with the same experience.

So a couple of weeks ago, I headed onto Google Maps and found the closest (some local and some in a neighboring town) independent lingerie/bra stores and started to contact them mostly by a carefully worded email. I started to get emails back slowly and I wasn’t very happy with what I was reading. Some of the responses included

“Unfortunately, as discreet and comfortable as I am, my services are provided for bodies with full bust or no busts due to breast cancer loss. I take my employ quite seriously & as a result, will advise that I’m not comfortable fitting you.”

Then I started to get some positive replies but lots of these stores don’t deal with larger or plus sized women.

“Based on your measurements, your size would be about a 40 or 42 A or B. Unfortunately, we have very limited options in those sizes, and what we do have are quite standard and simple looking.”

I contacted some of the more commercial lingerie stores but I knew that the majority of these stores would also have limited options available. So, in my location, Ontario, Canada, there are only a few women’s clothing stores that will cater to larger/plus sized customers and sell bras and lingerie. They are Reitmans, Penningtons and Torrid. We used to have Addition Elle stores but they were owned by Penningtons and closed back in August of 2021. I tried to use the customer support channel for these commercial stores but that didn’t lead me anywhere so I started to call the stores and talked to the Manager.

My first store was Penningtons. I called and I talked to someone (I should have probably asked for the manager) and I was open and honest, I asked if they had ever done a bra fitting for a man and she said, “Nope but if you want to make an appointment, I think we can help you.” She thinks. No thanks. I wanted this to be discreet and something that they had done before.

My second store was Reitmans. I called and asked to talk to the manager and/or assistant manager. I waited a few minutes and a lady came on the phone and introduced herself as the store's assistant manager. I asked her, "Do you carry plus size bras? For example, 40C." 

"Yes, we do. We carry all the way up to a 54 DDD. Are you looking to buy a bra for someone?" I quickly replied back, "Yes, actually, it is for myself but I wanted to ask if you, or someone there would be able to get me a proper bra fitting? I have been told that I should be a 40C but I want to make sure." 

And then the very long pause as I can picture the person on the other side of the phone picking their jaw up from the floor. And then she replied back, "Oh alright. I don't see that being a problem. Would you feel comfortable being in the store doing this?" I could hear a little reluctancy in her voice as she asked. I replied back, "I would want you and your customers to be comfortable too. Thank you and it is good to know that you can offer this service. I will be in touch." She said, "Thank you." and we ended the call. 

That's not the response I was really looking for but at least I found a place that I thought I could go but I still had one more place to call.

I called my local Torrid store in the local shopping mall. I don’t remember if I asked for the manager or not but a nice lady came on the phone and introduced herself as Tracy. I said “Hello Tracy. I am wondering if you or someone at your location has done a bra fitting for a man.” Her response was “Yeah. We have. All of the girls here have. Would you like to have a bra fitting?”

At that moment, I felt a sense of relief. A weight lifted off my shoulders. She was honest and confident in her answer which brought me a sense of calm. I replied back, “Yes I would but I want to be discreet. I don’t want to upset your customers or your staff.” She completely understood and she appreciated me mentioning that. She said, “When you come in, hopefully it won’t be too busy and I will get you into a change room as quickly as I can without too many people noticing.” I said that would be perfect. I will call you in the next few days to set up an appointment and see what would be the best time for me to come in.”

So a couple of days later when I knew I could get to the store, I called my local Torrid store and set up an appointment for a proper bra fitting for that night. Luckily, I had an excuse to go to the mall without my wife. I told her that I was going to go shoe shopping for a wedding coming up.

On my way to the mall, I quickly called the store to see how busy it was and Tracy told me to come in and she will help me. Immediately I had butterflies in my stomach. Thinking to myself, “Is this really going to happen now?” Calming myself down, I started to think about all of my adventures lately being out and wearing a bra and all of those were great experiences with no incidents or problems. I said to myself, “You got this GIRL!”

As I walked in the store, there were a couple of ladies shopping for different items. A dress caught my eye so I immediately went over to see it. As I was looking at the dress, a lady approached me and said quietly “Hello, how can I help you. My name is Tracy.” A smile came over my face and she knew exactly who I was. She said for me to follow her and she has a changeroom already saved for me.

Great start so far!

She comes into the changeroom, closes the door and asks me to lift my arms. She wraps the measuring tape around me and then asks me, “Are you wearing a bra?” I said, “Yes but it was something I picked up quickly. I don’t know if it is the right size. Hence me coming in to have this done.”

“Well, let us take a look then.”

I take off my t-shirt to reveal my Genie padded bra. “First off, I didn’t even notice that you were wearing one if you were concerned. Secondly, I think this is a little tight. You can probably go a size bigger.” She then proceeded to show me why it was too tight. 

“Lets go back to your fitting.” She wrapped the measuring tape back around me and said, “OK so you are a 40”. Then she moved the tape up a bit and measured my chest. “Well, you are definitely 2 inches or a B cup but I am going to assume you would like something a little bigger.” I nodded and said, “But I don’t want them to be too big. I would like them to have a natural look.”

“Then I think you should either go with a C or D cup. Personally, with your shape, a C might be better.” I nodded again. She said, “Just wait here and I am going to see if I can find you some bras to try on. Oh, by the way, I can put a star on the door instead of your name.” I gently said, “You can put Michelle.”

“Ok perfect. Michelle, I will be right back.” She gave me a huge smile and a little wink and headed out. A couple of minutes later, I hear a knock on the door and I hear “Michelle, can I come in” It was so nice to hear my girly name said to me for the first time. I wanted to say “YES” but I didn’t want to say anything with my male voice so I just opened the door to the changeroom. I think I was blushing when she came in.

She had given me 3 bras for me to try. 1 of them I put it on and quickly took it off. Not for me. The second I put it on and I heard “How’s it going in there Michelle?” I opened the door, telling her that she could come in. She looked at me in my new bra and said, “Now that looks good! Actually amazing!” She asked me to turn around and she looked at the back. “Perfect! I really like this bra on you, Michelle.” There was my name again. Euphoria! I loved hearing my name.

“Ok try on the other 2 and let me know what you think.” I quickly said, “I tried this one on and I didn’t like it. I took it off immediately. I’ll try the other one.” 

I quickly changed bras and Tracy came back in. “That one looks nice.”

“I like it but I don’t like the straps and the way that they come up. wearing a t-shirt like this one is nice but I am afraid that if I wear anything else, you are going to see those straps, which is a huge sign that I am wearing a bra.” She agreed and said, “Ok. Take off that one and put the other one back on. I will be right back.”

“I'll be right back???” I agreed but now I was a little baffled. Why is she asking me to put the other one back on? I did as she said and a couple of minutes later, I heard a knock and “Are you ok Michelle?” I open the door and Tracy walks in with a couple of pieces of clothing:

A black silk camisole.

A beautiful light blue blouse with a flower pattern.

The dress I had my eye on when I walked in.

“Why not give these a try. You have amazing blue eyes so I wanted to see how these would look on you.” I was absolutely shocked. I was literally on Cloud 9. She continued, “Well you need a nice cami and this one will compliment the bra. I think this blouse will look nice with your eyes and you already had an eye on this one.” She gives me a huge smile and a giggle.

I tried on each item. Each felt amazing and Tracy came into the changeroom to give her opinion too. The silk camisole felt amazing and looked great. Tracy agreed. The blouse she picked out looked great. The dress I picked out looked great on the rack but, unfortunately, did not look good on myself.

I changed into my normal clothes and waited a few minutes. No Tracy so I slightly opened the door to see if anyone was outside. The coast looked clear so I opened the door and headed out of the changeroom. There were 2 women standing there that I could not see from the crack of my door. So I looked them straight in the eye, smiled and said, “Excuse me ladies” and walked right past them. One gave me a nice smile and the other gave a stunned (not weird) look.

I went to the cash register and said to Tracy, “Those other clothes are lovely but I think I am only going to get the bra today.” I had tried on the black version but ended up getting the “beige/nude” version. I am going to go back to get the black one soon.

As I waited to pay, I pulled up my phone and gave the store a 5 star rating on Google Maps. I waited to post it because I wanted to show her the review.

Before leaving, I had to thank Tracy for an amazing experience and it will be something I will never forget. The last thing she said was, “Michelle, it was a pleasure helping you today. Please come back soon if you want to do some more shopping and try on some different outfits.” I was smiling from ear-to-ear. One very satisfied customer.

Thank you Tracy! Thank you Torrid!

[firespirited]

i woke up prepared to apologize for getting angry over doll stuff but the more i think about it the more it’s obvious exactly where I stand.

Whether it’s “You shouldn’t reblog from vapider they’re a paedo” which led me down a rabbit hole that took hours and led to him being friends with someone who supports writing properly tagged dark fic.

“You should have researched BarbiesGBF he made caricatures without consent” which led to hours of searching to find one use of the r word (and since when do you need consent to make cartoons or post about popular public figures in a fandom?)

“I need to know for my safety your position on [extremely complex syscourse/vast spectrum of religious discrimination]”

I refuse to play broken telephone with a rumour mill. If you want “accountability” in your community you can keep dated screencaps somewhere public and decide as a community what the boundaries and acceptable responses are.

It’s stupid fandom stuff but it’s hitting deep because I’ve been in religious communities run on gossip and charisma and seen the same for activism. It was toxic, it destroyed multiple good people’s lives and if this kind of thing, the whole guilt by association, those awful doll confessions and vague accusations come to dollblr, I will make a new place with actual rules where we start over from scratch because I believe in rehabilitative justice and transparency.

So here’s the deal, we can make a baddollydeals type thread on The Pony Arena (or a google doc) for active bigots, theft and scams.

Anything else is vibes based judgement based on gossip and WILL be ignored. If you want accountability you either put up or shut up: you might think you’re just being a good person but you are being played in a systemic game I have seen play out before many times before. Your blocklist is your own business, the rumour mill is community business.

---------------------------

So as part of the “research” I went to twitter and there was a screencap of me so I went and deleted that comment because I can totally see how it could be construed as thoughtless and sexualizing - I’m mortified (for the record, I think highly of Brooke and thought her caricature was a guy at first because her public image is as a mermaid or a Disney princess, a while back we had an interesting email convo about doll repair)... That person didn’t message me on instagram or even reply, they just screengrabbed and shared as part of the public “scandal”. I’m a creep to the 56 people who liked that and who knows how many more. No questions no context and I find out by accident and can’t apologize and explain as I don’t have twitter.

------------------------------

Said it before, i’ll state it again, if anyone has a problem with me: talk to me, @ me with your complaints, ask people if I have the ability to react to new information, grow and learn.

And more importantly, do the same for everyone: if you have an issue, leave a comment. otherwise we end up with broken telephone of 4 tweets saying variations on “barbiegbf is a sex offender” because someone once used a stolen picture of him to *say* hateful things on a live and it was clearly not him.

How many whispers until you are tainted for having interacted with me? it’s no way to do things.

[trisshawkeye]

Can we hear more about enjolras and his merry men?

You most certainly can! Enjolras and His Merry Men is, as it sounds, a Robin Hood AU for Les Miserables. I wrote the first chapter of it for the Les Mis Across History event back in 2013 (I put it on AO3 later when I finally made an account). I got really into the historical research and planned out a bunch more. I had detailed notes on which Les Mis characters corresponded to which Robin Hood characters, backstories, English history, all sorts of stuff.

The problem was, I was doing this all in Scrivener, which I'd just gotten a copy of and was quite excited to use. I then realised that actually I really bounce off Scrivener as a writing and organising tool (I prefer to keep everything in one Google doc, as bonkers as that is, it's just what works for me). Also, this was at least one laptop ago and now I don't actually have Scrivener installed anywhere. All the notes are there, in the .scriv folder, they're not encrypted or anything so I could just lift them out, or reinstall Scrivener to rescue them and reorganise. I've just not bothered, really. The fic text itself is in a Google doc that I haven't touched since 2014. Oops.

Is it abandoned? Nooooooo... making it my WIP with the longest lag time between updates. I don't know when I'll actually sit down and continue it, but I just really love it as a silly concept so I want to come back to it eventually.

Here's a little bit of chapter 2 beneath the cut, for your patience, everyone. They're not using their French names here, but I think you can tell who's who.

Chapter 2 - The Guide

The Sheriff of Nottingham woke with a startled grunt to the sound of someone putting something down on the table. He snapped upright with a curse, to see that a chunk of bread had been laid on his desk. Across from him sat a scruffy servant boy, chewing on his own breakfast and swinging his legs from the chair.

“Did you stay up all night?” the boy asked.

William Brewer rubbed his eyes, mentally chiding himself for abandoning his usually solid routine of waking and sleeping. He made vague attempt at shuffling the paper on his desk into some form of order, then gave up and reached for the bread.

“Staying out of trouble, I hope, Much?” he asked, suppressing a yawn. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. I hope you’ve been making yourself useful.”

“Mmhmm,” Much replied around a mouthful of bread. The Sheriff eyed him levelly, sighed, and returned to his papers.

“Well, I will be writing a report on these outlaws this morning. I do not wish to be disturbed except for matters of the greatest urgency. I will take dinner here. In the meantime, go see what help you can be in the stables.”

Much scowled. “Can’t I stay here and help you?”

“Not unless you could either read, or tell me in great detail about the outlaw John Little, also known as Combeferre.”

Much cocked his head to one side in thought. “Well... he’s really tall, and he uses a quarterstaff. Also he’s second in command to Enjolras.”

“Where did you learn all that?” the Sheriff asked sharply.

He got a shrug in response. “Folk talk about things around a kid more than they do around the Sheriff,” Much replied with a grin. “I hear a lot, I do.”

The Sheriff of Nottingham narrowed his eyes. “You have told me nothing I didn’t already know. Run along now.” With an exaggerated sigh, Much went to obey. He had pulled open the door when he heard Brewer speak again. “Oh - but keep your ears open,” he said gruffly. Much gave him a wide grin and bolted out of the door. Despite himself, William Brewer felt a smile ghost at the corners of his mouth.

[princessmuk]

Hi everyone, OP here. This post blew up way more than I expected it to! I have some things I need to clear up, so let's get to it.

I need to emphasize to everyone that the feature being discussed in this video is a part of Google Workspace Labs. It is currently opt-in, meaning unless you explicitly consent to this feature, it will not be a part of your Google experience. This may change in the future, but as of posting this (July 24, 2023) this feature is NOT rolling out to everyone.

After reading many of your replies and reblogs, I have realized that this video is misleading and speculative. I do not know a lot about the tech world, and so I took this video at face value and assumed the original poster knew what they were talking about. Now, I can see that it is alarmist. I still do believe that there is reason to be wary of this feature, as there is with all AI, and I also still believe it is beneficial to many people to switch to a program other than Google Docs for their writing needs, but I do not want to convince others of this opinion through incorrect information.

Looking at Workspace Labs itself, as the person in the video did, is confusing to someone like me. It just seems like the same legal jargon and tech lingo that every other AI experiment uses. So, I took a look at Google's own articles on the feature (one here and one here) to see what Google is actually doing. Please look at it yourself, too.

This feature is primarily created for businesses. Which is very surprising to me, as many of you pointed out that this could be a huge breach of privacy and confidential information.

Duet AI, which is the new feature being rolled out, is very clearly NOT using your entire document as input. The input is a small blue text box where you can ‘ask’ the AI to generate emails, documents, presentations, spreadsheets, images, meeting notes, and more.

In Gmail, this text box will say “Help me write”. As shown by Google, the AI can summarize an email (or email chain) for you, draft a reply with all the relevant information to that email, and create brand-new emails. Similarly, in Docs, the AI can provide better proofreading, write job descriptions, draft a document based on a prompt, and draft a brief about an email conversation. It can also refine, shorten, elaborate, rephrase, and change the tone of existing text. Notably, the job description example includes “smart chips”, which means it will insert things like “company name” for you to change yourself. This implies that Google is not including your personal information in the AI-generated text unless you specifically include that information in the prompt.

However, as seen in other examples (though I think these were Google’s goals rather than what the AI is currently capable of doing), the AI can be asked to write a brief in Docs about emails you received, and it will include specific information about the things discussed in the emails, despite that info not being included in the prompt. It is difficult for me to tell if this means Google is scraping your entire drive and gmail info to assist with the prompt, or if the prompt will only do what you specifically asked of it. (Or, maybe something in between? If someone more knowledgeable about AI wants to give their two cents, I’d appreciate it.)

Still, other examples include organizing spreadsheets of customer info, creating custom messages to customers, creating a Slides presentation based off the brief written in Docs about the emails received in Gmail, taking very specific notes for you in Google Meets, and more. To me, these examples suggest that all of this info across every service Google provides will be available to Duet AI.

Again, I’d like to emphasize that this is not my area of expertise, and I believe the original video is misleading. However, having done my own research, this is still a concerning feature to me. And, despite what many have said, this is targeted towards businesses specifically, and has already been used by companies like Lyft and Instacart.

All of that being said, despite the video not being as correct as I thought, I still feel a lot more comfortable taking my personal docs, images, etc. off of Google, and using different services.

A transcription of the original video, along with a little more info on my intentions with the original post, are included below the cut.

If you reblog this post from me, please reblog this version.

I first want to apologize for not including a transcript of the video in the original post. This not only made the information less accessible, but also encouraged people to focus more on my short summary/commentary below the video rather than the video itself.

Before anything else, let me include a video description.

[Video Description: A TikTok made by woppydoesthings about Google Labs AI and its new features. The video shows a person with short brown hair and glasses who looks and sounds very alarmed.

The video includes censored captions.

"Well that was fucking fast! Google just invited me to try out their beta of Labs AI. Man, I'm really lining up to try this one."

They give a sarcastic look.

"They did, however, take me right to the terms and conditions. Let's go through it together, shall we?"

The video shows a computer screen showing the URL for the Google Labs sign-up page (which is hyperlinked in this description). The video then cuts to a zoomed-out view of the entire page.

"This is what it looks like. If you scroll down, there's a bunch of information, and then a consumer agreement where you can opt in to all of it."

They scroll through the page as they speak.

"So what does it say?"

They highlight portions of the Workspace Labs Privacy Notice section as they read it aloud.

"When you interact with Labs generative AI [it will take] … prompts and input, prompt and input refinements, generated output, generated output refinements, and feedback."

The video cuts back to the person as they explain their interpretation.

"I read this section as if it's saying it takes the questions that you ask the AI, and then it puts out the answers, and then it takes those two and analyzes how good the answers are. What's interesting to me is that because they are bragging that this is a 'fully integrated AI', now I have to wonder what a question is. I have a sneaking suspicion it is going to be my entire document that they will be considering as 'input' for this AI. I hope I'm wrong, but let's keep going."

The video once again shows their computer screen, which they read off of.

"In big bold letters: 'Please do not include sensitive, confidential, or personal information that can be used to identify you or others in your interactions with Lab features.'"

The video cuts back to the person.

"That seems awfully specific. Why don't you want all of my information, Google? You already have it. You're already looking through all of my shit, apparently. They're saying that they are going to be keeping all of this data in a manner that is 'not associated with your Google account', which to me just says that they're stealing my work off of my Google docs and then not giving me credit for it."

In a sarcastic tone, they add: "So, fucking love that, that's great."

They continue, "Are you ready for my favorite part?"

The video cuts back to the computer screen. They read off the highlighted section.

"'To help with quality and improve our products, human reviewers will read, annotate, and process your Labs data.' Human reviewers!"

The video cuts back to the person.

"God I hope those people at Google like the Omegaverse. In all seriousness, this is what's concerning to me, because if this is going to be 'fully integrated' into Google Docs, they may not even be asking permission for this later. Instead, what they'll probably end up doing is pushing out an email that says, 'Surprise! We've integrated this new thing!' And then there's going to be an opt-out button, but it's gonna probably be very hard to find. How many authors are going to lose access to their intellectual property because they don't know that Google is putting this out?"

"Human reviewers, you guys. Actual human eyes are going to be on your work, because they're needing it to 'annotate for processing'."

The person clenches their fist in frustration.

"I didn't approve you! I didn't approve this random Google employee to get a hold of my book and decide to read it while it's in a really raw format. Bro! This is not okay! According to this, they can keep a hold of our data for eighteen months, unless one of these human reviewers gets a hold of it, and then it is kept for four years."

"But here's the best part."

The video cuts back to the computer screen, with another highlighted section being read aloud.

"'We take steps to protect your privacy as part of this process.'" They repeat with emphasis, "We take steps."

The video cuts back to the person.

"What steps, Google? What steps are you taking to protect my privacy? Because if I'm being honest, you don't have a great reputation for it."

The person shakes their fist and makes a noise of frustration.

The video shows the Consumer Acknowledgement at the bottom of the page.

"Like I said, there's an option at the bottom to opt-in."

The video switches back to the person.

"I've recorded this video five times, because four times, TikTok did not post it. This is important stuff, you guys. This is your rights being taken away as we speak. Do what you need to protect your documents right now, because Google's not gonna do it for you." /end video description.]

Now, onto my intentions.

I posted this at midnight right after getting home from a nine-hour retail shift. I had seen the video while on break, and thought it was important. I included an eye-catching title and encouraged people to reblog because my blog is fairly small and I thought it would help to spread the word. I did not expect this post to get much more than fifty notes, let alone OVER TEN THOUSAND. I actually had to mute the notifications on this post because of how many of you have interacted with it. Which would be great if I still thought the video I posted was 100% correct information, but as many have pointed out, it is not. Or at least, it presents speculation along with facts and presents all of it as true and inevitable.

It is very important to do your own research and confirm what is true before spreading potential misinformation. This is something I did not do. I assumed the video was truth, when it was not. I sincerely apologize for this. I did not intend to be alarmist or freak people out over misinformation. I genuinely thought this was important. After doing my own research, I still think this feature is something we should talk about and everyone should be aware of, BUT the video posted is not a good representation of the feature or the arguments that can be made against it.

I also apologize for not making this correction sooner. I have been very low on spoons lately and this post took off when I was very busy with work. Hopefully, this version of the post can reach more people.

🚨⚠️ATTENTION FELLOW WRITERS⚠️🚨

If you use Google Docs for your writing, I highly encourage you to download your work, delete it from Google Docs, and transfer it to a different program/site, unless you want AI to start leeching off your hard work!!!

I personally have switched to Libre Office, but there are many different options. I recommend checking out r/degoogle for options.

Please reblog to spread the word!!

[endless-oc-creations]

Excuse me for butting in but you and that rude anon are wrong for using Google to define sexuality. Wade is pansexual. In the comic book series and TV Show, Rick Grimes is depicted by the original creators as canonically straight and devoted to his wife. All his love interests are women. Daryl Dixon is more ambiguous but the creators and actor said previously that Daryl is meant to be asexual and a virgin, and they loved that. Peeta is defined as heterosexual by the way Suzanne depicted him. We have to go by the original creators intentions. Jesus and Aaron are canonically gay in the comic books where there was little LBGTB rep at the time. If someone straightened them out like I have seen some writers do for Jesus just so to pair them with their SI, then it's depressing. But this is fanfiction and ultimately you're not harming anyone. I think what is harmful is people like you and anon trying to justify sexuality with Googling articles that are just the creation of some hack but appear to back up your headcanons. You can easily respect the original creator's depiction but create your own fanfiction suiting your own tastes. I am saying this because I have friends who are heavy into Rick and Michonne and they go by official lore how devoted he is to a straight POC woman. They are a hetero pairing. It's odd to see people arguing he isn't when it's right there according to them. People can change his sexuality without trying to make out it's actually canon. But if you wish to make Rick a poly pairings with two men, then you can but there is a difference between canon and headcanons. I would advise anons to just move on and block. You can either agree or disagree with me but don't let it spoil your creating

First off anon, thank you for coming into my inbox and being at least polite with your ask. I wanna express that I don't mean to harm you or anyone with what I replied. I'm not forcing sexualities onto anyone and I was just using the research from articles I found from Google to make a point to that rude anon that you can't just assume that a character is straight.

I think it's important to research some things in a response if someone is trying to say "You can't do this because this character isn't this x, y and z, etc." If you get what I'm trying to say.

For example, how would you know about Daryl Dixon being ambiguous and that " the creators and actor said previously that Daryl is meant to be asexual and a virgin"? If you didn't google or seen an article based off an interview or just the interview itself?" So that is all I was doing. I was putting the links to articles.

On December 1, 2014 an article came out with an interview with Robert Kirkman, the creator of The Walking Dead, on the show Talking Dead, that"...Daryl Dixon is straight." The article is linked here.

BUT! On Mar 5, 2015, "The Walking Dead" Star Norman Reedus, who plays Daryl Dixon, gave a conan interview. (I added the link to the video interview) Where he weighed in on the possibility of his character, Daryl Dixon, being gay.

“If that’s the story they gave me, I would rock that story. I’m not afraid of it,” Reedus said. (The Varity article with more of that interview is here. )

So even though Kirkman stated that Daryl "is straight" the possibility is still open.

What I think is just a little hurtful is that you just assumed I am like that rude anon trying to "justify sexualities". That anon said they googled these characters and that they were straight. Without any information to back them up on it. I googled as well but came back with articles that had articles containing the information I stated. So some of the articles wasn't just some hack, they came with examples. Some from 'canon' itself.

Also, I looked into this after reading your message, but I couldn't find one article backing up your claim that Peeta is defined as heterosexual by the way Suzanne Collins depicted him.

I am a HUGE multi-shipper. I have too many ships that I love and adore. Some are canon, some are not. One pairing that's canon that I love is in fact Rick and Michonne, I absolutely love the way those two are devoted to one another and would do anything for each other and their family. But, I also ship Rick x Daryl for fun, I know they will NEVER be canon but it's fun to read fanfictions and watch fanvids with those two.

So please just don't assume that I am trying to take away from canon relationships when I create ocs for canon characters that are already in a relationship.

So I agree with you Anon, when you said "this is fanfiction and ultimately you're not harming anyone." It is something I whole heartedly agree with and think it is so so important. I make my characters for fun and I like thinking about their dynamics with other canon characters or in that particular world.

I hope this makes sense.

[joomju]

@kingjackalope

Hi! I'm pulling this into its own post because I HAVE OPINIONS and it seems like you do too and I wanna see more of them than a stupid little reply bubble will let us do!

No pressure, but please type out as much as you feel comfortable. I wanna learn all the things and your lived experience seems wildly different from mine.

@joomju I'm an adult Japanese second language learner. I started at 28 and self-studied my way through all five levels of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Maybe AI translators handle French better, but they frequently translate Japanese incorrectly (I've helped someone read something where the DeepL translation was the total opposite of the original text). I'm wary of texts that are ostensibly for education, but aren't at least checked for accuracy by a person.

Okay first off, CONGRATS on learning Japanese at that level! That's a ton of fucking work and hats off respect!

AI translations of French are much better than Japanese. A French person can take my mangled thingummy and understand what I was going for. It gets verb tenses right. It mostly gets gender right - though gender fluctuates a bit depending on if I'm asking someone from France vs Quebec vs Côte d'Ivoire. I consider it kinda like asking the kid sitting next to me in class "how do I spell this?" I'm not taking anything it says as gospel truth.

The EU is funding its own AI to help with the multilingualism issue. Trying to ask a US corpo to deal with multilingualism properly is an exercise in futility. I know China is funding its own AI research. Idk if Japan is or not.

I went down an entire rabbit hole once of shorthands. There was a dataset published in 2012 from Google Books where they counted the most common letters, and symbols. and syllables, in a variety of languages. Unfortunately the dataset was mostly useless in French, because some monolingual ijit believed è = é = ê = e. The counts of most common syllables and letters were useless for researching shorthand, because most shorthands are based on making the most common phoenetics easy to spell, not the most common orthographies.

If some anglo fucked up French that badly, I'm sure they could fuck up Japanese by an order of magnitude.

All this to say that LLMs, like all code, will only answer the purpose the coder intended. Someone who doesn't have to live with the results will generally create something that kinda-sorta-doesn't-really work.

Here's a question for you, the expert: I found out I'm going to Japan! It's a surprise trip that I never thought I would get to do in my life. I've got a few weeks to prepare. My Japanese is going to be useless in that time. I thought I would put a translation app on my phone, so I could type in simple things (Does this bus go to the shrine?) and show my phone to a bus driver and they could help me. Given what you've said about translators, this might be a terrible idea. Is there an app you can recommend?

I'm going to be looking up reddit/youtube/etc for general "here's how to be well mannered in Japan for Westerners" if you have any recommendations in that vein they would also be welcome.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

rant incoming

do you remember the fucking armor bikinis from the justice league film? that happened five years ago

i didn't but at the time I remember seeing a comment that someone made saying that some of the cast made about preferring the bikinis because it allows for greater mobility (valid reason to be honest) and they preffered the lack of discomfort liking chafing and bruises (not valid because the off shot is exposed skin and things)

and I saw a thing about it on pinterest and made a comment about the above that some cast members liked it

"i found it really interesting that the women themselves preferred the armour in the Justice League over Wonder Woman edit: It was in an interview with the women in the picture at some point but I can't remember which one or where I read/watched it but I do remember they preferred JL armour because it did not cause them bruises or something?? sorry i can't remember which interview"

I got a response the other day

"Iff you can't find the source it is not a source so don't post the lie"

I actually looked it up and found a source Samantha Win (formally Samantha Jo) I have no idea what I was searching for to miss her comment but eeh (i was probably running out of space and time as 2017 i had college to get too)

and I responded after many attempts because fuck pinterest

"my comment was made under the assumption that google is somewhat easy to access. did you type anything into the search bar and read the results at any time before saying I was lying? here use this as search terms Samantha Win she is the one who prefered the bikini armor for two reasons mobility (valid) and that it didn't chaff/ bruise cause discomfort (not valid dumb as heck would you rather be uncomfortable or dead?)"

my response was ratty and i was 100% insulting their intellegience if they couldn't use google and went straight to calling me a liar

their response

"Not my job. If you make a claim you are responsible for backing it up. That is one of the responsibilities of media use. Time to grow up, child."

I'm the child? this was five fucking years ago and no one else had a problem with the comment but they did and they could have searched it up and said that I should have done better research still I'm the child? how many people in the world on the internet made claims without backing it up and then no one looking it up afterwards

does this count as name calling? both times i reported them as well as blocked instead of replying to that last one at all

kind of wish i did just to see how much further they go because they called me a child for the assumption that other adults can do their own research oh wait many don't

I actually wanted to find it because I remember how frustrated I was not finding the information to share and I was kinda excited to share it despite how rude I was

(does pinterest still have a character count?... it does it only flashes when you go over it)

DA I hope you have a day that's good but you stub your toe four times (the length of time it took for me to find my source)

edited to add: by this logic the internets misinformation will thrive anyways because people can misquote sources, make them up, take things out of context if a post has a source read it when you have the time

[coltwinchesterdsm]

Roleplay Rules - #Trident

1. Please do not post a tweet to storylines I'm involved with and you are not in the story. It messes up the replies and creates a space where we have two chains instead of one. 2. I'm not a fan of DM roleplay. I do it for the selective few in regard to sex, sensitive material etc but I'm /not/ going to do whole storylines in dm's. I'm here to write and read others' stories not hide out in dms where nothing can be read and then when you get on the timeline nothing makes sense because essential events have happened and there's no explanation. If I do roleplay in dm's those replies will be done when I have time, I won't put a priority on something that isn't even worth it to you to have on a timeline. 3. If all you want is sexual roleplay then be upfront about it, I like to write all kinds of things. But I'm /not/ the guy who's going to be posting dick pictures all day with no real storylines and just fucking in dms with no storyline. 4. Please don't ask me to put five of my own characters into your storyline when you only have one. If you're to lazy to create characters needed then ghost them or rewrite your storyline to make it work. 5. Storylines... to me a storyline is discussed prior to starting, a beginning, middle and ending needs to be outlined and any key elements that need to happen need to be added so that the authors can figure out how to make it flow right. For people I rp with a lot and we have good flow I probably won't require that but if it's more than two characters and/or I've never roleplayed with you then yeah I'm gonna want a game plan. Because to many times people want to roleplay but are /to lazy/ to do the research and make a game plan. Then I end up having to do it all and I'm sick of doing it so thus why I'm posting this. 6. I don't roleplay for the sake of a ship. There will always be a plausible background established, even for the raunchy and taboo accounts. Just the way I roll. 7. If you start roleplays with me and ditch the storyline's then don't expect me to mess with you anymore. My /time/ is valuable just as yours is and I make a serious effort to answer storylines first before I dick off. 8. DMing constantly, unless you're my mate back off. I get online and I get bombarded and then I'm stuck in dm's with stuff that could wait or be said in chat. If you have something important and by important I mean you need a character added to the lists, problems with another author or something that needs to be handled by staff or an owner then please leave your message @DSM_RP that is why the hub exists. And this way when our staff come online they can actually roleplay and not be constantly interrupted for no good reason. Common curtsy. 9. If you are not a member of #DSM and I've agreed to roleplay a storyline with you just be advised any site storylines take precedence. Why you ask? Because if people are dedicated enough to be a part of the site then they deserve for me to put in the work needed to keep storylines rolling. That being said I reserve the right to say /NO/ to anyone whether in the site or not. 10. I understand the term "Bio" means different things to different people. And how's it's used as well. So... let's talk about it. A one tweet pinned tweet that has maybe some warnings in it, your preference of what your sexual preference is etc isn't a bio. I get some don't realize that but it's /not/. Google Biography and take a look, it helps other writers and yourself. For those who show up wanting to roleplay to be your new best friend and you've never seen them before... Handing someone your bio that's ten pages long and expecting that person to suddenly know everything and be your buddy... it's rude dude. People have lost the art of building relationships and when I say relationships I'm not just talking about sexual, friendships take work as well. Not everyone can just magically click, doesn't work that way. I've had people I click well with and they change characters and I'm like yeah... I feel nothing for you. Building a character and relationships takes work. If you're not a part of DSM and you are interested please get ahold of the hub @DSM_RP and we'll be happy to work with you. You have to be 18years old and be able to write complete sentences and use punctuation. And if you have a disability let's say something like dyslexia or have issues with having seizures with gif's etc let us know. I'm completely understanding about those kinds of things. We aren't looking down on you or anything. We'll do our best to help and we can't help if we don't know. Also, very important, if English isn't your first language you need to let us know. I know English is a pain, but if we look at your tweets and you sound like a kid we might go wow okay yeah no. Our content is for adults only, with no exceptions. Underage people can band together and make their own sites and roleplay. So there you go. One last thing... if you are involved in group storylines and you come online blow off the six people waiting for your reply because you just want to hook up with every guy that comes along... don't get involved in the group storylines. It pisses us all off and just drags morale down. If you want to be a solo act then go right ahead just don't waste all our time waiting on you because you are not making the group a priority. And if you take on a lead role and all you want to do is dick off then at least be upfront about it in your bio. Put you're a solo writer or something so people don't waste time trying to roleplay with you when you have /no/ intentions of really roleplaying with them. Also, we will not force ships whether it's canon or not. Alright, thanks for reading this long-ass post. Hope we roleplay on one of my many accounts.-

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day Something: The

Hey friends. I've been struggling with writers block a little bit lately, the muse is flighty and I'm out of the routine of writing because I've been so busy. So I'm just filling a prompt that kindled a little fire. Sorry that it's out of order! I don't think this one is even on the list yet (sorry for that too, nonnie!)

"You've got the Banquet for the War Orphans coming up on Sunday, the meeting with the board of trustees for the Lycanthropy Research Foundation tomorrow, the Minister booked an appointment with you today at 4:00, we-"

"Matilda," Harry interrupted, "Could you put them into the Google calendar?"

"They're already on it, Sir," she said.

He rubbed his forehead, "Harry," he corrected.

"Yes, sir."

Harry blew out a sigh, “just tell me what’s coming up in the next two hours.”

She rattled off a few things; a meeting with shareholders, meet and greet for funding a new wing of the hospital, lunch with the board.

"Right," he said, "Cancel my next two hours of things."

"But, sir-"

"Harry," he all but growled. "Reschedule the lunch meeting with the board; send Amanda with a report for the shareholders, they like her anyway; and send Anthony with a personal check for 10,000 galleons to the hospital opening."

"But Sir-"

"Harry," he corrected again before shaking his head. "I'm going. I'll be back in two hours." Without waiting for a reply, he apparated straight out of his office and into a very different office within the Ministry.

(Keep reading below the cut)

"You're not supposed to do that, you know," Draco drawled, not even bothering to look up from what he was working on.

"I know," he murmured, sidling up behind him and wrapping his arms around Draco's waist.

Draco continued the work he was performing, "What if I'd had someone else in here?"

"How many other secret lovers do you have?" Harry tried to tease but it didn't come out as much like a joke as he'd intended.

The other man huffed, "I do have people who consult with me at work, for our work, on occasion."

He didn't respond, couldn't respond, because he hadn't thought about it, had only thought about needing to see him, needing to not be the savior, the boss, the Harry Potter.

"Harry," Draco sighed, casting a stasis spell on whatever he'd been working on before warding the door. He turned and Harry pressed his face into Draco's neck, inhaling him. "I know," he murmured.

"How much longer?" he whispered into Draco's skin.

He huffed a laugh, "How much more do you want to accomplish with your money?"

Harry groaned, that was just it, wasn't it? He kept investing in the things he felt were important, people joined in investing because he was the Harry Potter, and his assets only continued to grow. Which, in theory wasn't a problem, but in practice meant that he had too many board meetings to attend with people who acted like he shit gold bricks.

"Oh, love," the other man murmured.

"I just," he huffed, "I needed to be me for a little while."

"What if you were you at work?" he offered, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead.

He laughed humorlessly, "How can I be? I can't even get my own bloody personal assistant to call me Harry."

"Fire her," he said simply.

"Right," he said, drawing back and rubbing his hands over his face, "Because that's the image that I want to be associated with my foundation, someone who fires people for trying to be respectful."

Draco shrugged unrepentantly, "Being you at work isn't easy."

He frowned, "Draco, this foundation got where it is because I learned to play my cards right; I learned to bite my tongue and bide my time and now I can help people all over the world."

The other man nodded, "You're right."

"Stop that," he grumbled.

"What? Agreeing with you?"

"Yes."

The corner of Draco's mouth turned up, "I'm just saying, being nice is all well and good, and it will get you where you want to go. Working the room, playing the game, it's very effective but there's a reason I didn't go into politics and a reason that I am an unspeakable who works alone most of the time."

"I'm not in politics," he said.

"No?" he asked.

Harry groaned, "This isn't helping."

"I'm sorry," he replied, but he didn't sound particularly sorry. "Living a double life is difficult."

"I'm not living a double life," Harry protested.

"You've got a job where you never say what you really think and feel, you go to all sorts of functions and play the role they want you to fill. Then when you want to visit your boyfriend at work you have to tear through the bloody wards around the Ministry because people can't know that I exist."

"Wait-"

"You have a house that people know about that you floo to every morning so people can see you leaving from it, even though you spend every night in my flat and my bed."

"But that's for you-"

He shook his head, "Don't pretend that this is for me."

"The press-"

"Would look really bad for you," he said.

"No!" he snapped, "The press would fucking hound you. They'd tear you to shreds."

"Gee, I wonder what that must be like," he said, "because they don't already do that," he added sarcastically.

"I-"

"And don't pretend that everything you're doing now isn't about you either," he continued.

"I don't want kids to go through what I did, is that so wrong?"

"I'm just saying Harry," he said, shaking his head, "If you don't want people to see you as a martyr, stop playing one."

He took a step back like he'd been slapped. "Wow," he said.

Draco folded his arms over his chest.

"How long have you been holding onto that one?" he asked.

The other man shook his head, "This isn't about me."

"Right," Harry said, "because you're the one that's got this all figured out. I'm the broken one."

"Your words, not mine," he replied tightly.

He nodded, "Right, then. I'll just see myself out, shall I?"

"Harry-"

"Don't," he spit. "I get it."

"Harry-"

But he didn't wait to hear how that sentence ended, didn't want to stick around to hear the apology because he wasn't ready to forgive him anyway. He popped back up in his office and checked the calendar. He'd missed most of the shareholder meeting but ought to be able to make it to the hospital wing meet and greet.

------------------

Harry normally would have apparated straight into Draco's flat. After a day like today, he was liable to apparate straight into Draco's bed.

But their argument had stayed bright and hot at the forefront of his mind, and like a bruise that you just couldn't help poking, Harry hadn't been able to stop replaying the conversation.

And no matter how he turned it around in his head, Draco was right. Or justified in feeling that way at the very least.

Instead of doing what he'd normally do, Harry stopped off at the little flower shop a few blocks from Draco's flat and told the girl working that he needed a bouquet that said 'sorry for being an arse.'

She laughed but set to work, making a bouquet with white tulips and daffodils with a few blue hyacinths to finish.

He walked the remaining blocks to Draco's flat and practiced the apology he'd been working on all day as he approached. Harry took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It swung open a moment later and Draco startled when he saw him, "Harry," he said, glancing around at the street behind him.

"I'm sorry for being such a fucking arse," he said.

"Come inside," Draco said, tugging at his arm.

He shook his head, "I don't care who sees-"

"Come inside, you absolute menace."

Harry huffed and allowed Draco to drag him in and close the door behind him.

"I don't need you to apologize," he said, "I overstepped. We're not-"

"Marry me," Harry said, pressing the flowers into his hands before dropping to his knees and pulling out a ring box that contained his mother's engagement ring, redesigned so that the diamond twisted around the band.

"Harry, what?" he asked incredulously, setting the flowers behind him on the table and closing the ring box that he was holding out. "You're being insane."

"I'm not," he replied. "You can choose, we can tell everyone or I can tell them to piss off, but-" he broke off and shook his head. "I’m me when I’m with you. It's the only time that I'm not calculating and trying to decide what the best move is."

"That's fine," Draco said, kneeling in front of Harry and cupping his face. "This is fine."

"I," he swallowed and looked down at the box in his hand, "I want to marry you," he said. "I want the ring on my finger, the tangible reminder of who I am when I start forgetting. Draco," he said, cupping his cheek, "I love you. I'm sorry I've hurt you by keeping you a secret. I've been selfish-"

"Harry," he said, kissing him softly, stopping his flow of words. "It's okay. You-"

"I'm not done yet," he said softly. "I'm not done investing in things, trying to do good, and trying to repair the things that are broken."

"That's fine," Draco said. "I'm fine, I'm an unspeakable for Merlin's sake! My entire life is one big secret, I was being a hypocrite-"

"Marry me," he said again. "And we can tell everyone or we can tell no one. Just," he looked down at the ring box, opening it once more, "be my husband. Let me tether myself to you. Let it be a promise that no matter what, I am always thinking of you. I am always wishing that you were by my side."

"Harry," he whispered, eyes filled with tears.

"Say yes," he pleaded. "We can elope or we can have a huge ceremony that we invite the entire wizarding world to," he nudged his nose against Draco's and leaned their foreheads together. "This is the best thing in my life," he said. "And I've treated it like I was ashamed of it, like I'm ashamed of you. And I'm not, Draco."

"I know," he murmured, his hands sliding up and down Harry's neck. "I know, love."

"Marry me?" he asked again, his hands trembling as he held out the ring.

Draco sobbed and pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek, "I didn't mean to guilt you-"

"Draco," he said, pleading, "Sweetheart, please say yes."

"Yes, of course yes," he said, hiccuping around his tears, "Of course I'm yours but only if this isn't out of guilt."

"It's not," Harry promised, pulling back far enough that he could slip the ring onto Draco's finger. "I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around Draco's back and holding him.

Draco's arms wrapped around his neck and he held him back just as tightly. "I love you, too," he whispered. "You're not broken," he added.

"I am," Harry said honestly. "And that's okay," he added.

"We're all broken," Draco replied.

Harry leaned back and kissed him, "I want to be better. Please," he said, brushing his nose over Draco's, "tell me when the things I'm doing hurt you."

"This floor is certainly hurting my knees," Draco teased wetly.

He huffed a laugh and stood, pulling Draco with him. "I mean it."

"Okay," he said, combing his fingers through Harry's hair. "Move in with me?"

Harry nodded, heart flipping in his chest. "Yes."

"We could find a bigger place," he offered, looking around the tiny flat.

He shrugged and replied, "I'm happy to be anywhere, as long as I’m there with you."

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Day 170: Geotaxis | Day 171: Tacent