#that only butches and studs know

[trickinabucket]

I was so happy abt gender and sex stuff earlier but then i found a femme lesbian being a femme lesbian and it’s given me indigestion

[kingofstag]

Lolololol not my stud coworker saying I have feminine energy because I know how to say please and thank you to customers 💀💀💀💀💀 just because I'm butch doesn't mean I have to grunt like an animal so people don't forget I'm masc

[shimenchus]

if you've ever seen a femme/butch couple and the first words out of your mouth are "heteronormative" you should consider the following:

killing yourself

[elliesbelle]

THE WAY I WAS LISTENING TO TAYLOR SWIFT WHEN I READ THIS LMAO

bae doesnt at least respect her as a fellow songwriter? breaking my heart. shame cause My Tears Ricochet is so her coded.

(chap 13 is so good tysm tysm 🩷🩷)

sorry babes sldkfjsdlk i just know ellie would hate taylor swift, sorry sldkfjsdklfs

[doberbutts]

The only people who support bi lesbians are themselves bi or otherwise not lesbians. Keep talking over us, of course the voices of the majority matters more than those the minority.

It's funny because my stance actually comes from listening to my lesbian friends who are in relationships with bisexual women and who also call their girlfriends and wives "lesbians" and don't question when their girlfriends and wives call themselves "lesbians". Like it's usually "lesbian- well, technically bi, but lesbian works".

I also gained my stance from listening to studs who are "any woman, including he/him women, who also likes women, including other he/him women" under the label of "stud" which often to white people gets translated as "butch lesbian" despite some ***some*** studs being okay with sleeping with men as well.

So personally I think if two people are in a happy committed relationship and they land on a descriptor that works for them, I'd rather take them at their word for it rather than let some uninvolved person tell me what I am and am not allowed to call them. And I think I'm not going to argue with my stud friends who probably know more about their culture than some rando on the internet.

[bougiebutchbinch]

hiii, question, what does stone mean in context of stone!top trans logan? coz i think i know but im not quite sure

Stone can mean different things to different people - obviously, I can't speak for everyone.

But often for transmasc folks & wlw, it's someone who only likes topping and strongly dislikes being penetrated (so, all focus is on their cock/strap/clit/t-dick/whatever terminology or equipment they're using)

OR

(the slightly more common definition, ime) someone who doesn't like their genitals to be touched at all during sex - meaning all their focus is on reducing their partner to a quivering wreck >:3c

They might have big bottom dysphoria. They might be ace. They might just prefer things that way! They might get themself off while their partner watches, or masturbate in private, or not enjoy getting off at all - but they're often the perfect partner for a pillow princess!

It's a really interesting queer dynamic that is often maligned as 'unfair' when it's actually what some people thrive on (so long as folks don't presume stones are somehow less emotional/unable to be hurt/that their consent or vulnerabilities or trauma doesn't matter/that stone characters in fiction are somehow less lovable or less deserving of development/etc. Your butches and stones and transmasc daddies and studs have feelings, just like you do - and you should honour and respect them).

Being stone is a big part of the lives of multiple transmasc folks I know (and I am including myself in that bracket, because hoo boy, am I discovering things about myself through the medium of Wolverine). But there's precious little rep in fandom.

I've only read one fic with a stone transmasc top x cis!guy, and only a few with stone tops where it didn't low-key feel like the character was being reduced to an unthinking sex toy so the narrative could wholly focus on the bottom. Which like, can be sexy in a kink scenario - don't get me wrong! But still.

So uhhhh yeah...... more well-developed transmasc tops in fandom please. And stone transmasc rep in general!!! It's a really interesting aspect of sexuality to explore! And Poolverine just feels like THEE most blatantly obvious pairing for transmasc stone!top Logan x bratty bastard pillow princess Wade in my mind, haha

Thank u for coming to my TED talk, etc. etc. etc.

[softbutchthatlovesyou]

Hey Studs and Butches I am taking you home and tucking you in and feeding you a meal I cooked and rubbing your shoulders and telling you how you are seen and appreciated every day in a million ways more than I know how to express in words.

I want you to have any break you need from hard expectations. You deserve appreciation and to be focused on just as much as you focus on the ones you love and/or care about.

Every version of you is beautiful. You are beautiful when you are strong and you are beautiful when you are weak. You are beautiful when you keep your hair short or when you grow it long or when you don't have a strand on you.

You are beautiful when you are as healthy as a person can be and you are beautiful when your mind and body fight you every day. You are beautiful when you read and write and sing and craft and play.

You are beautiful when you are women and you are beautiful when you are men. You are beautiful when you are neither or both or something that will never have a word in any language.

You are beautiful when you stand your ground and when you find yourself in a spot where something has to give. You are beautiful when you exist right here on this earth that was made for us even when others try and deny it.

You are a beauty like the sun and the planets that revolve around it. You are a beauty like every stunning moon and breathtaking mountain. You are a beauty like waves of the ocreans and the wind in a storm.

I adore you Studs and Butches.

And this is only a small piece of how I know how to say that.

[lisanees]

Non-lesbians love to act like being a lesbian is restrictive, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Lesbianism is freedom.

Lesbians are not all binary cis women; there are transfem lesbians, transmasc lesbians, nonbinary lesbians of all types, a lot of us even consider lesbian to itself be a gender. And that's only scratching the surface of how diverse lesbian gender expression can be, even within those categories there are yet even more types of lesbians, we play around with femininity and masculinity in so many ways!

Not to mention butch lesbians, femme lesbians, stud lesbians, and stemme lesbians; the latter two being black lesbian identities. Some lesbians are none of those things, and that's fine too! There are lesbians who use pronouns other than she/her; they/them lesbians, he/him lesbians, lesbians who use neopronouns...

Lesbians are not all TME; there are trans lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, intersex lesbians. The lesbian community is more inclusive of trans people than most, despite what others may think.

There are lesbians with many different relationships to their attraction; asexual lesbians, aromantic lesbians, lesbians with trauma around sex or romance, lesbians who don't want to be in relationships, lesbians who are sex workers, lesbians who experience comphet, lesbians who didn't always know they were lesbians and may have been in relationships with men before finding out...

Lesbians are not all white; there are black lesbians, asian lesbians, latine lesbians, native lesbians...

Lesbians are not all privileged outside of our LGBT identities; there are mentally ill lesbians, disabled lesbians, fat lesbians, autistic lesbians, lesbians with personality disorders, lesbians with eating disorders, lesbians with trauma, lesbians who struggle with addiction, lesbians with scars and bodies seen as atypical in the eyes of western beauty standards...

There are lesbians of all social classes and demographics; poor lesbians, working class lesbians, Jewish lesbians, Muslim lesbians, Hindu lesbians, Buddhist lesbians...

There are lesbians all throughout history who have fought and bled and died for who we are, lesbians who continue to fight today for who we are, lesbians who live completely isolated from any kind of support structures and aren't able to be themselves.

The thing that all of these different types of lesbians have in common? We aren't men, and aren't attracted to men; not cis men, not trans men, not nonbinary aligned men. We exclusively love other women and sapphic aligned nonbinaries.

Being a lesbian is not restrictive, and if it feels that way to you, you're simply not a lesbian. Don't try to change who we are, lesbianism is a beautiful and fulfilling identity just the way it is. 🧡🤍💖

[chainmail-butch]

There's something about being the only transgender person at a drag show that really bothers me.

It's a complex feeling. Drag shows are currently on the front page of the national consciousness. They are deeply intertwined with transgender rights. Specifically, they're tied to the rights of transgender women. So why am I the only tranny in the room?

Statistically, I know why. There simply aren't that many of us. It's a wild and crazy night when there are 5 or 6 transwomen at the bar.

There's a complex venn diagram that outlines the experiences of transwomen, transfems, cross dressers, sissies, queens, gay men, faggots, bisexual men, nonbinary people, genderqueer people, and genderfluid people. And, like a ring species of Appalachian salamanders, our experiences can travel back and forth across this chain that connects us. All of these people can relate to me in some way or another, and I can relate to them in return. But I'm not really part of it.

When I'm outside smoking with the queens after the show, I feel alone.

My section of the venn diagram is an interesting one. In addition to claiming my femininity, I'm also claiming a very visible sort of masculinity. My link in the chain connects me to lesbians, dykes, bisexual women, mascs, butches, kings, transmen, transmascs, cross dressers, femmes, studs, genderfluid people, genderqueer people, and nonbinary people.

When I'm outside smoking with the dykes, I feel alone.

There's only one other transfem butch in the Seattle area that I know of. Most women who pick up the label use it to reclaim their own masculinity and mature as women before they put it back down and go on with their lives. This is a good thing. There's nothing more butch than being there when someone needs you.

It's also lonely.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Yes,it's super true that:

Black women should be allowed to be as femme as much we want and however we want

We can be indie,pastel,punk,kidcore,classical,scene,goth,gamers and any other style and/or subculture we want that's not inherently rooted in blackness by itself but that we put our spin on to make it connected to our black womanhood and we're awesome for it

This also extends to our personalities.We should be allowed to be bubbly and soft and kiddy and chaotic and unshamedly weird and hopeless romantics and high maintenance without having our blackness doubted since blk women like us have always existed and we always will

It's extremely out of pocket to say we're 'acting white' for it,especially when there's some parts of these that were INVENTED by black women and is real bold coming from cisdudes who do things like calling us fake fans because they think we don't know what any media and need to educated by them so we can reward them by dating them and this all goes quadruple for black trans femmes,be we transmasc or transfem or multigender or nonbinary

But it's ALSO super true that:

Black women are allowed to be butch as much as they want and however they want

They're an extremely important part of not only black history but also wlw history in general and have been one of the most important groups in our community since forever along with blk trans women.They also face significantly worse discrimination than us femmes(No,i'm not making it a competition,i'm saying it as a fact)

Studs/Masc bi bw can be just like us personality ways or the direct opposite or somewhere inbetween and they're all cool as fuck and deserve good things and our love and protection like they give to us.They deserve our full support in cases where they're not cis too that,again,they also give us

Butch black women and femme black women rarely are the ones actually causing this infighting and instead it's nonblacks gossiping and trying to divide us.There is definitely some problems in our community but it's only a small part and we can't let them influence us with their bullshit nor let them keep platforming without calling it out and it's all of our responsibilities to love and protect eachother in a world that hates of regardless of what we're individually like.Remember that in cases like mine where you're not full black we should use our privilege to our advantage to fight against misogynoir towards ALL of us but that monoracial black women have always had it the worst and they've given us everything so we should do the same

@thisismisogynoir

[genderqueerdykes]

happy lesbian visibility week to EVERY lesbian! happy lesbian visibility week to every femme, butch, stud and boi, to lesbians on T, to lesbians on E, to every lesbian who is not a woman, to all transgender and transsexual lesbians, to nonbinary lesbians, to genderfluid lesbians, to lesbians who are men, to every boydyke and lesboy, to intersex lesbians, to lesbians who only identify with the term dyke, to bisexual lesbians, to pansexual lesbians, to polyamorous lesbians who date all kinds of people, to omnisexual lesbians, to polysexual lesbians, to mspec lesbians, to aromantic lesbians, to asexual lesbians, to disabled lesbians, to chronically ill lesbians, poor lesbians, to homeless lesbians, mentally ill lesbians and neurodivergent lesbians!

we all deserve the chance to be visible and have our stories told. have a wonderful week and don't be afraid to let the world know you love being a lesbian!

[alphajocklover]

I’ll cut right to the point. I want to be huge.

I have always dreamed of being a huge bodybuilder since before I can even remember. I remember watching hulk cartoons and wishing that could happen to me. The older I get, the bigger my desires seem to grow. I want to become the ultimate brute. Completely massive, completely covered in body hair, and with the brain of your average henchman.

Can you work your magic on me? I’ll do anything to live that big dumb brute life.

As cliche as an opening as this is, based on what you’ve told me I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you’ll soon be transformed just like how you’ve dreamed. Your muscles will grow humongous, your mind will dim, and you’ll get to live your dream of being a big, dumb, bodybuilding brute. I won’t even have to do a thing! See, you’re experiencing a Big Dick Energy overdose. If you haven’t read my past post on BDE, it is essentially a nickname for a type of Masculine Energy humans naturally produce. When someone who produces this energy does not dispel it by doing manly things, it builds up inside of them as an urge, until bursting out and transforming them temporarily into a straight stud full of toxic masculinity. It sounds to me as though this energy has been building up inside you for quite some time, so your transformation will definitely be impressive and may even be permanent from the start.

The bad news is that from what you’ve told me, you might have built up too much masculine energy. I know that sounds obvious, since it’s literally an overdose of masculine energy, but this is when you have even more energy built up. Sometimes instead of building up the energy and expelling it by transforming, like in a usual BDE overdose, the energy is blocked and keeps building up until the dam bursts and the transformation gets… really intense. This might not sound that bad at first, but the details are what might trip you up.

The first problem is actually your lack of control over details. While you’ll most likely become like the dumb brute you’ve been imagining, as desire does change what kind of jock a person becomes when they overdose on BDE, you won’t have total control over the details. I’m not what's transforming you this time afterall, you’re basically transforming yourself. It’ll probably work out, since usually those transformed by BDE are changed into their ideal manly self, but… we can’t be sure. Transformation is always a lottery, especially with more powerful transformations.

The second issue is that due to the unique way you’re transforming, you’re going to be… well, contagious. Literally. You’ve built up such a large amount of masculine energy that for a couple ays after your initial transformation, those around you will be transformed as well. Most woman and nonbinary people will just act a little more butch and masculine for a while, and some men will simply have an urge to do more manly stuff for a couple days, but for some of the people around you the energy you give off will be a spark that starts their own transformation. Some will only be transformed for a bit, but a lucky few will be transformed permanently, just like you. This might be a good thing, since now not only will you be transformed, you’ll get a small group of manly brutes to bro out with. The bad part is that you won’t be able to control who you infect. Here's hoping you just infect your friends and not your grandpa or something. Not that buff grandpas don’t have their own charm.

Despite the possible complications, you’ll definitely get your wish. To be a big and dumb brute. I hope you enjoy it, because there's no turning back.

[olderthannetfic]

I was that AAVE anon and thank you for responding. I was just really confused about these being for ONLY black people because I don't use these AAVEs personally at all, especially in real life because my native language is not English.

And I was also pretty sceptic about that these words are exclusive for black people, because I once stumbled upon a post here that showed a tiktok explaining that you can't use the word stud because that's only for black butch lesbians. Also that one post's tone too was pretty insufferable. Basically it was like "See? This word is for black butch lesbians only!!! Don't use it or you're a racist pig!" While others pointed out that it was also used for horses for a longer time. The original post didn't help me learn anything, it just showed me that the poster is insufferable and that I need to be more sceptical about everithing posted anywhere no matter who posts it.

Next time I'll search better if I stumble upon some words from English slang or something. Sorry for wasting your time! 🙈

--

*giggling*

Yes, anon, I figured you weren't a native speaker. For the record, 'AAVEs' isn't how we use that. AAVE is the name of the dialect: African American Vernacular English. As a term, it works how any name of a language or dialect does. You can say things like "I don't speak AAVE" or "This is grammatical in AAVE". If you want to describe vocabulary, I'd say something like "This word comes from AAVE".

I know what you mean. There's a plague of social media posts about how some word or other is only for black people. (Not surprising given the even bigger plague of appropriation from AAVE.) Half of them are completely accurate and half of them are absolute nonsense, and there's no way to tell which is which from the posts themselves. The only way to distinguish is by already knowing enough that you don't need the damn post in the first place.

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

DO U EVER THINK ABIUT GENDERBENT 141??? because I'm sorry I'm queer as hell and au where everything is the same but Ghost is the most handsome butch woman to ever walk the earth?!?!?!? Barkbarkbarkbark

OR EVEN BETTER.... FEM GHOST AND REGULAR GHOST MY BI ASS GETTING SQWUISHED BETWEEN THEM 🫠🫠🫠

Man I am FERAL 2day

-🔪

Have I ever thought of Genderbent 141? UH??? YES??? EVERY DAY???? (never shared it before, but I 100% have thought about it)

Genderbent!141 Thots

Simone Riley who’s ginormous for a woman, just as tall as half of the men around her, and with shoulders just as wide. Wears her hair in a crew cut (just like her male counterpart) because she gets hot around the neck and irritated with hair in her eyes if she tries to grow it out any longer, and she cannot be arsed to untie and retie her hair if she’s in a hurry to shoot a terrorist! Unironically uses her sports bra as a place to conceal MORE weapons. Do you know how many foldable knives she has hidden in her bra cups? Don’t ask, she won’t tell you. Never wears heels because she hates it and it’s just not her style, she’s a butch through and through.

Jane Price who surprisingly strikes SO much fear in recruits by being polite, understanding and a surprisingly calm leader because they KNOW that a woman that polite can’t survive/be taken seriously in the military unless she’s deadly efficient and ready to crush someone under her boot at the slightest provocation… Her hair is fairly long but she wears it tied in the military regulation bun that’s SO slicked back and tight it’s no wonder she has a permanent headache. Yes she wears the boonie hat all the time.

Kylie Garrick is pretty girl (just like Kyle is pretty boy). She has the PRETTIEST neatest cornrows and wears them in a bun because it’s convenient for work, plus it lets her still wear her beloved baseball cap!!!! She read the handbook cover-to-cover to know what’s allowed and what isn’t and knows exactly what she can get away with style wise. Watch her wear stud earrings of all colors and tinted lipbalm to skate by the ‘no makeup’ rules.

Johanna MacTavish is short but BEEFY. And I mean BEEFY. Between her arms and her thighs, she looks like she could crush skulls and watermelons alike with just a bit of squeezing… And she has taken advantage of her reputation as a destructive wildcard to get away with hair that does NOT pass regulation. I mean, are YOU going to go tell the one Scottish woman who’s built like a fridge and coincidentally the YOUNGEST recruit to pass SAS selection and also certified in demolitions and explosions to fix her hair? No, obviously not. So, she wears her hair LONG as shit and only pinned back enough to not get caught in her arms when shooting/fighting +  has an undercut so that she doesn’t overheat.

[ More Genderbent!COD ]

[bat-besties]

People keep talking about "the boys" and only listing Dick, Tim, Jason, and Damian, and then Duke gets pushed in with Cass and Steph.

Now we all know it's the racism making him get tagged on with the girls.

However, I choose to interpret this as people unwittingly signing on to my "Duke Thomas is a butch/stud lesbian" agenda.

[leikeliscomet]

A Brief Look at Stem(me) History

Wanted to know more about Black lesbian identities and I couldn't find a lot on Tumblr or Twitter so I did some research on stem/stemme myself. I'm not involved in queer discourse like that but I've noticed stemme being compared with futch both positively an negatively. The term "futch" is a mash up of butch and femme and the OG Futch Scale was posted 17th February 2011. In 2015, it got posted to Tumblr and became a meme, then an accidental "guide" on lesbian identity. Regardless of stances pro-futch or anti-futch I wanted to find info on stem/stemme as a Black lesbian identity for gender and gender expression. The modern definition of a stem/stemme is a Black lesbian whose gender expression and mannerisms fall between stud and femme. I've managed to find definitions not only supporting this but also definitions predating the futch scale, both pre and post meme version:

"Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme.  (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.)" Stud is defined as "An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian.  Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’." (John Jay College of Criminal Justice LGBTQ+ Terminology, Eli R. Green, 2003-2004)

"Stemm A stemm is a gay/lesbian female who dresses like a guy, and dresses like a girl. Person 1: Look at that girl, she looks like a dude with all those guy clothes on, she has to be a stud Person 2: Well she was wearing girly clothes yesterday, so I thought she was a femm Person 3: Actually she's a stemm, she's wears boy clothes sometimes, and girl clothes other times" (Urban Dictionary definition of Stemm by user JenniferHill, November 8th 2009)

"A lesbian, who identifies as a Stemme, retains traits from both Femme and Stud/ Butch lesbians. Stemmes are in the center of the lesbian spectrum of classification and identities. Therefore, it is considered natural or common for Stemme lesbians to share the same behaviors as women of two diverse identity groups. Often times, the Stemme identity is viewed as the “transitional” stage of lesbianism, when a lesbian woman goes from being a Femme to a Stud/ Butch, or (on rear occasions) from a Stud/ Butch to a Femme... *In this blog the characteristic and behavioral difference between a Femme and a Stud is conjoined. The way a Femme or a Stud dresses is not the only way she can be identified. They can also be distinguished by their attitudes, actions and the way they interact with other people. A Stemme is the in-between identity of a Stud and Femme. She is apart of both groups and her identity is subject to change at anytime. A Stemme identity is often referred to as the transitional stage; however, some lesbian women remain a Stemme because they enjoy representing male and female dominance." (Lesbian Identity: Stemme, Nell S., 6th Nov 2009)

"'one who could switch up one day, she could be a femme and other occasions dress like she has a li’l hood, li’l ghetto inside her; a stemme –  part femme part stud a tomboy'" (STORY OF INTEREST: Lesbian Speaks Out, Dominica News Online, April 12th 2010)

"Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity." (Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011)

"Stem, described as a cross between or combination of stud and femme, is a label that was used to refer to a lesbian that presented both masculine and feminine traits and characteristics. Short Dawg said, 'A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine.'" (Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, 2013)

Videos

Who has it harder in the world of lesbians? [studs? stems? or fems?}, iRoqStarStemme, 10th Jan 2011

WTH is a STEM??, AmbersCloset, 1st Feb 2013

The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem, Channel 4, 9th Feb 2015

There's a lot more I found and I'll post each article and video separately because they all go into more detail but tl;dr;

Stem(me) is an identity coined by Black lesbian spaces

Stem(me) mainly follows stud/femme dynamics rather than butch/femme (but can reference it)

Stem(me) predates the futch scale meme

Stem(me) is defined by clothing but also behaviours, so it can be a form of Black gender expression or gender itself