#that one really impacted me and everytime i cry i remember it and it helps l | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deluluass · 4 years ago

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Red, like blood. Blue, like love.

Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; bullying; soulmates au

Prompt: 88 & 183

There’s someone for everyone, you’d learned growing up.

"Remember, blue means happy," your mother would say. "The happiest you'll ever be.”

She liked reminding you about this fact— for it is an indisputable truth, every so often when she could still carry you. You’d be hugged from the back, as she recounted stories of first meetings, serendipitous and life changing in their nature; belonging to those who’ve lived long before you, sometimes even those who’ve only lived in tales.

Mostly, your mother loved telling those involving the people she knew. And if you’ve behaved properly, she would tell you about hers.

Tracing your palm, starting from the forked lines to the dashed ones on your fingers, she’d say, “These would start to glow like stars.”

“That’s weird!” you’d burst out, shrieking a laughter as she tickled you.

“Listen carefully,” she chastised. “Blue is for your soulmate, okay?”

And you’d repeat: Blue is for my soulmate.

“Then, mama,” you tugged at her sleeves, “What if it’s really, really bright red! Like! Bloody glow sticks! Say, mama, you see, everyone at the park was talking about the man who died because he touched someone and his hand became bright re— ”

You never brought that up again. What your mother said about it had been enough to never make you forget.

“Tell me if you get red,” she said firmly, clutching your arms as if she feared someone would snatch you away from her. “Red is bad, my heart. Red means run.”

It hadn’t nearly been as gruesome as your mother made it out to be.

Case in point, when you turned twelve the couple three houses down your street found out, shortly after their honeymoon, that their palms gleamed a fierce red once they clasped each other’s hands in front of the neighborhood aunties.

Their marriage ended with a swift and ordinary divorce, a year or so later.

Red: Not just an ominous warning for homicide, then. That was a relief, you’d thought.

Contrary to how your mother framed it, you were thankful, actually. It helped some of your friends escape from potentially hellish relationships. How lucky is it that you lived in a reality where the universe seemed exceedingly benevolent. Though, you sometimes have to question if that generosity extended to everyone.

Fat lot of good it did for you.

Because, from where you’re standing, it doesn’t have to take some arbitrary and unsolvable scientific mystery to heed that Oikawa Tooru must be avoided like the plague.

Any person in your shoes would be conditioned to do exactly that.

You’d first met in Elementary. You thought he was the prettiest kid you’d ever seen, with chestnut curls and doe eyes and lashes that swept past his cheeks, and when you’d asked for a hand shake he’d called you “the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen” and “fart face.”

Recess and lunch were when he’s most fearsome. Spiky burdocks slapped on the collar of your dress; dead lizards in your food; the boy was determined. The worst part was that it always happened when no one was looking. And if someone were, it was his best friend. So when you finally told on him to your mom, both your teacher and the principal simply judged Oikawa as the victim of an attention deprived child.

“Please discipline your daughter,” they told her. “We are all aware of your situation at home, but do ensure that she’s not getting out of control.”

You couldn’t even muster up the strength to defend yourself. In that moment all you could do was swear that you’d never allow anyone to talk to your mother in that way again.

You moved out of that school.

You didn’t wait for your palms to flash a warning signal because, somehow, you knew that boys who discover early that they could get away with anything cannot get any better.

There’d been no way to be sure of that until Aoba Johsai— after a peaceful interim of no Oikawa; no red palm lines (and no blue ones, either).

The proof hit you in the face. Literally.

“Oi, Shittykawa!”

Heat permeated from your nostrils as you patted your cheek, detached and staring back at the large gymnasium.

“You hit someone!”

How unlucky did a person have to be to bleed right on the first day of classes?

You tried to lean forward. “It’s okay,” you slurred nasally, pinching your nose and averting your embarrassed gaze from the boy kneeling next to you.

“Trashykawa! You better hurry and apologize!”

“Don’t be mad, Iwa-chan,” that disgustingly saccharine voice came from behind you, making you flinch, as if the years you’d spent apart had done nothing to purge it out of your system.

In all honesty, you hadn’t really cared for whoever was responsible for the ball that careened all the way to where you were standing, so sure that it had to be an accident. No one in their right mind would want to injure someone they barely knew, especially if said someone is a couple of feet away from you.

Morally and athletically, it should’ve been improbable. But then you saw who did it and everything made perfect sense.

Iwa-chan. The boy beside you. Iwaizumi Hajime.

If he’s here, then—

“You,” he whispered.

“Eh?! Gosh, I’m so sorry!” Oikawa Tooru gasped. “You’re bleeding.”

Time is cruel. It wears down on you, tears you and molds you into something you can’t even recognize, if it decides to. (Fate, more so). You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or laugh, looking at him. If the universe were so benevolent, then perhaps Oikawa Tooru had received all of its favor.

He was beautiful. You’d known this before, but with all the baby fat replaced with sharp yet slender angles, figure lean and imposing even when he’d lowered himself to meet your eyes, Oikawa didn’t seem real.

“I did hit someone, didn’t I?” he pouted, wiping the dried blood atop your lip. “And such a pretty girl, too.”

That volleyball existed should’ve made life better for you. It didn’t. If anything, it seemed that out of the court, when he’s not taking names and being praised like a god, you were his little pastime. Something fun to take his mind off whatever it is he thinks about it.

The mocking comments, you could handle; every time you’d recite and he’ll interject with something playful and then the entire class would laugh (because he’s Oikawa) and your professor would reprimand him but you could always tell that they, too, are holding in a giggle.

Those were easy to bear, because although his insults hit way too close to home, it’s just— it’s just so petty.

Really, it’s the aftermath that does the damage.

“They’re like Christmas lights under your skin!”

This topic pops up every month or so. Most people your age can be lucky enough to meet their soulmate this early.

“And it’s the most awesome feeling in the world,” your classmate sighed. “When we touched hands? Man. We just- we glowed.”

Then, the others would poke fun, faking a gagged expression, but they’d always ask afterwards, “What happened next?” And everytime, you’d watch from the sidelines. Like an uninvited audience.

You tried being a part of it once, wanting to share about the time your close friend met her soulmate. But all you’d gotten were side eyes and titters, as if they were laughing about a joke only you didn’t know about.

“They’re so mean to you.”

You groaned.

Oikawa was seated behind you, resting his head against his elbow. Everyone was too busy talking about blue lights and destined souls to notice what’s happening at the back of the room.

He continued, “Not including you in conversations, treating you like an outsider.”

You didn’t bite, focusing on the opened book in front of you.

“Must be lonely, having no one.”

“Oikawa,” you muttered under your breath. “I don’t have the energy for this.”

The silence that came after that was unexpected. You were sure it would be short lived; he’s just gearing up for more. He usually went at it until you’d have no choice but to physically remove yourself from his presence. You’d thought once that that may be why he does this so much. Maybe he still thought you were the “ugliest girl” he’s ever met and he wants you out of his sight. Because Oikawa’s infantile like that.

But the silence stayed, accompanied by the background noise of eager conversations; lingering some more as white, fluffy clouds passed by the glass windows.

When he broke it, all Oikawa said was, “Soulmates, huh.”

You felt a finger touch your back, drawing the barest of lines over your uniform. He removed them just before you could stand up and leave.

You disliked those moments with him.

You disliked him especially when he played.

Oikawa’s a monster, be it in volleyball or with you. There are times, though, that you’d notice some things that you think you’re not meant to see. Like after a serve— its impact booming throughout the court, he’d have this puzzling expression on his face.

It looked like....anger.

He scored a point, right? Everyone’s cheering for him, aren’t they? Wait, didn’t they win?

You thought maybe it’s the adrenaline making him nastier than usual, but sometimes you’d pass by the gym when he happens to be alone. And that anger is still there, punctuated by the sound of the ball exploding against the floor. Jump. Hit. Spike. Jump. Hit. Spike. He’d do it, again and again and again.

As if he’s trying to grasp something even he cannot reach.

Those instances should’ve taught you that the best thing to do is look away.

That’s what you should’ve done. Look away.

They lost the Interhigh tournament.

You knew this not because you’d watched, but because for one day, Oikawa Tooru wasn’t your bully.

The derision was replaced by sulking. He didn’t speak for the entire period. The funniest thing about it was that everyone kept staring at you. Like somehow you’d been the cause of this, when all of them were lamenting the loss just as much as the team itself.

What was supposed to be a reason for celebration suddenly became a crime that you had to explain for.

“Great,” you grumbled to yourself. “One time I don’t have a target on my back, now I’m the bad guy.”

Trash bag in hand, the scraps inside rattled against each other as you stomped to the recycling bin, both sleeves of your P.E jacket folded up to the elbows. You affected a tone, choosing to mock the grating way some of classmates talked:

“Oh, hey, if it’s not too much,” you began. “Can you please be his punching bag again? If you will, can you relieve our superstar’s burdens? By, I don’t know, alluring him into walking all over you? Like the good old days! Please, oh please? We rely on you, oh Great Punching Bag! We Beseech thee, oh Esteemed Doormat! We compel— dude, what the fuck?!”

Crumpled papers and steel and tin cans rolled to the ground. You didn’t pick them up, like you should’ve; you left it there, trash bag lying open, and grabbed the ball that whisked mere inches from your face.

This time you’re not making the same mistake. The asshole is more than capable of suspending what little morals he has, just to hurt someone he barely knew. As well as athletically adept (an understatement, that) at hitting a walking target; or not hitting it, in this case.

You stormed the almost empty gym. Oikawa is a ray of sunshine, greeting you with that smile. It makes you want to punch him.

“What is wrong with you?” you spat.

He chuckled. “Whoops. Sorry!”

“I’m not having this-” you shoved the ball to his stomach. He didn’t even blink. “This isn’t gonna slide anymore, Oikawa.”

Wide grin still in place, he took it from your hands with his much larger ones and said, “Wow, you’re actually mad this time. ”

Then, he added, “I didn’t mean it! Honest!”

Must be nice, you thought with a scowl, to be him. Anyone can be sincere if they look anything like Oikawa.

“Sure. Fine. No, actually,” you glowered. “You know what?”

“Hm?” He tilted his head. Oikawa tilted his pretty little head.

You seethed. “I get it. You lost. That doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me. I mean, what did I ever do to you, Oikawa? I have-” you exhaled, surprised by the break in your voice.

“I haven’t done anything to you. We stopped being kids a long time ago. That shit you pull should’ve ended by now. We’ve grown.” You jabbed his chest. “But I see that maybe not all of us have.”

His pleased expression hadn’t dropped. “Ouch,” Oikawa grimaced, glancing amusedly at the place you’d touched. “How mean.”

This isn’t going anywhere.

You don’t know why it took you this long to realize this, as you shifted your gaze away from him, noticing the gashes on the floor that tear the surface like scars that never healed. That must’ve been because of him, with the amount of practice he does.

“It won’t be enough, won’t it, Oikawa?” you whispered. “Not for you.”

The smile that’s been there since you arrived tensed, straining at the corners of his lips.

“Yeah, I’ve been told,” he beamed.

He was bathing in his own sweat, seeping through his shirt and matting his hair to his face, and he looks— Oikawa looked tired. His eyes were sunken in, too. Did he even sleep?

You’re so used to seeing him not a hair out of place, with a sweet scent that you amusedly thought lures his gaggle of admirers into following him everywhere. It takes you aback, honestly. Particularly the wobble in his step as he bent and squeezed his knee with shaky fingers.

You don’t think he’s aware he’s doing it in front of you.

Then, just like that, everything seemed to have added up.

“You’ll never be happy,” you said.

You should’ve stopped there. You should’ve left. Instead, you looked him in those brown eyes, the warm hue becoming a lot colder as he moved closer.

Oikawa sneered. “And what do you know, huh?”

(Go. Leave.)

“Nothing,” you told him. “I don’t- I don’t know. Because, I don’t get it.”

(Shut up. Shut up.)

“Why you try any harder, I don’t know. Win or lose, it’s all the same. You’re still the same. You’re still awful and annoying and- and still you.” You laughed, unsure why you’re running your mouth like this.

“Win or lose. Oikawa is still Oikawa,” you breathed in. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

His teammates must’ve gone somewhere. For lunch, maybe, you thought as you eyed the abandoned bottles and used towels scattered around the court. “Besides,” you huffed, not without a twinge of envy. “They’ll all still love you, either way.”

Everything went still for a while, and you’d just realized what you’d just said.

“What about you?”

You looked back at him.

“What?”

He tipped his chin. You stepped backwards.

He brushed your wrist.

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed, but he only smiled and wrapped his entire hand around it.

Oikawa had been your first bully. Before you could even comprehend what that meant, Oikawa had been the source of your mother’s worries whenever she parted with you at the school gates. It is funny, thinking about it, for letting this boy affect you despite making an effort to stay away the first time.

But it is only now— now that he has a firm hold on you, gentle yet smothering— that you truly feared Oikawa Tooru.

It rattled your breath, squeezing your heart and refusing air to pass through your lungs, as you felt a shock zap through you. And apparently through him as well.

You broke away from each out with a cry.

Your hand was burning. That’s the only explanation for it. Your hand was burning and any moment now smoke will diffuse from the pores.

You waited. Any moment now. But the more you stared at it the more tiny spots of flames sparked under your skin, bursting along the palm lines— first, the forked ones; then, the dashed lines— glaring back at you, glowing brighter, blotting and spreading until they mapped your palms then your entire hands like constellations.

“Red is bad, my heart,” your mother said. “Red means run.”

“I knew it,” you scoffed, shaking your head.

Well, it’s not as if this is news to you.

“What about that, Oikawa?” You put both your radiating hands in the air. “The universe is telling us, you and I? We just don’t—”

Why are you crying?

Why is Oikawa crying?

“I knew it,” he croaked.

Your mother made the red light sound so horrifying for a reason.

There has to be a reason, too, why the universe is warning you so late into your life. You’d actually ran before. And when you thought it a waste of money, you chose to stay and not fight back; thinking that his punches have become less severe, degraded into verbal taunts that induce social exclusion at most; that, certainly, red doesn’t forbode something as bad as murder, right?

Well, what now? You were wrong, after all. This time you have a feeling that you actually need to hide.

Because Oikawa’s looking at you like you’re the last two people left in this Earth.

Just you and him. Without any need for anybody else.

You didn’t breathe, attempting to bolt despite the overwhelming need to throw up right where you're standing. He stepped closer, faster than you’d liked, and touched your face, caressing your cheek up to your aching temple.

“You should really stop trying to run away,” he said, voice low as if he’s sharing a secret. “I’ll always find you, you know?”

You didn’t have to look to know. Even if you closed your eyes, as well, you know it’s still going to be there; glowing in the darkness behind your eyelids.

“Me and you—” Oikawa sighed.

Listen carefully, your mother said.

“ —we have a connection that no one else will ever understand,” he said.

The light emitting from his hand was so harsh it hurt you, pricking your sight until it drew fat tears, reflecting against your damp face and tinting the fallen streaks with bright—

Blue means happy, she told you. The happiest you’ll ever be.

And you’d repeat: Blue. Blue is for—

“My soulmate," Oikawa said, before locking you in a deep, searing kiss.

The lights didn't die even as he dragged you into the storage room.

"Hey, where'd senpai go?"

The rest of the volleyball team came in droves, occupying the hollow court with their squeaking shoes and questions about Oikawa's whereabouts.

"Must've gone somewhere," you heard a deep voice say.

You could answer that question. All you had to do was scream. They weren't so far from the room that they wouldn't pick it up over the noise of their volleyball practice. Really, if you needed to, you could even outshout their guttural yells of "Nice kill!"

Though, you'd have to remove the underwear lodged in your mouth first.

Yours, in fact; soaked now by your own saliva, drool dripping to your chin as your wrists chafed against the rope that's keeping them tied at your back.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" You felt every sickening movement of Oikawa's lips against your throat. "Feels good when you- ah, fuck- when you give in."

With the cloth muting your shrill bawling, you tried your best to recall how you ended up here: seated on his lap as he sluggishly humped himself against you, his still glowing hands cupping your ass.

The only thing left on your body was your bra, and even that he's already lowered to let your tits spill over the top. Your pants and t-shirt and jacket are lying around somewhere. You couldn't determine where in particular; the only sources of light were behind you.

He was leaving imprints of blue all over your skin; around your waist as he slithered his hands to reach your breasts, scantily brushing over the hardened nipples and making you keel over.

"So sensitive," he tutted, smooching your neck so gently that even the underwear couldn't muffle your loud yelp when he suddenly bit into the flesh. Hard.

You wanted to claw his eyes out and call for help and you wanted badly to scream don't do that Oikawa someone please save me he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me-

But the gag remained intact and the boys outside continued their game, ignorant that their precious captain is taking everything away from you.

Sharp canines bruised your skin, provoking a fresh batch of tears as he sucked and licked every after cruel bite.

Then, when you thought the worst had passed, he removed his mouth from your neck to spit onto your bare cunt, allowing it to slide from the hair on your mound to the nub sticking out in the middle.

(It is not enough that he is killing you. Oikawa must defile you, too.)

His fingers gripped the insides of your thighs open when you tried to shut them together. "Don't be a brat," he clicked his tongue.

"Be a nice little kitten for me," Oikawa drawled, smearing the slick that's soaking your folds against the spittle coating your clit.

You didn't notice when he'd taken his cock out, you only realize that he's about to enter you when he teased your entrance with it, pushing the tip to nudge the drenched hole, only to pull it back again.

And you didn't dare look. The feel of it almost stretching you out with just the head is already driving you to insipid begging.

"What'd you say, kitten?" he pouted.

Oikawa you've already taken too much is it never going to be enough Oikawa let me go.

"I can't understand you," he chuckled. "Here—"

He pulled the underwear out of your mouth as he thrust all the way inside, your back arching, driving him deeper, as his cock throbbed against your pussy walls.

"Now, what were you saying?"

You swallowed your cries and heaved and swore you were gonna tear his heart out after this.

"Say," he whispered, sniffing your wet panties without breaking his gaze. "If everyone saw us right now, how'd you think they'd react?"

It was so reverent, the way he did it, blue light revealing that he closed his eyes as he took a whiff, as if he hung onto your scent like a lifeline.

But you thought that'd been a calculated move, because as you dumbly stared at him, he immediately gyrated his hips under you, rocking back and forth ever so slowly, and you remembered that you had to keep quiet.

His cock was so big inside you, making you bite your lip as it filled you up, the curved tip hitting a spot that has you squirming in his embrace.

"At this point they'll know how much of a whore you are," he said, tangling his muscled arms around yours and anchoring you to his body. "Made just for me."

"Oika-Oikawa…"

You don't know this person.

"Help..me.."

You don't know who's speaking out and whimpering for Oikawa, on her knees and bouncing up and down on his lap with weak, quivering thighs.

It couldn't be you.

"Help you?" You felt him nuzzle your neck. "I thought you wanted me to stay away, though?"

Someone mewled out a pathetic, "N-no."

"No? Then what d'you want, kitten?"

(Oh. Oh, he feels so fucking good.)

Your belly has never felt this hot before and it's driving you crazy that you're chasing for something you cannot see and it feels so near but there's something, something that's keeping you from it that all you can do is grind your sopping cunt closer to him.

"Wanna- I wanna cum."

Oikawa kissed you on the forehead, and then he said, "Go ahead, then."

He released your arms.

Then, he's scooping cum off your pussy, making sure to drag his fingers under the lips, before circling your large, swelling clit. Then, he's sucking your tits and swirling his tongue around a nipple and you're so so close.

"That's it," Oikawa sighed. "Ride my cock, baby."

His rough palm slapped both your ass cheeks and the cry that erupted from you only made him laugh.

"Make yourself cum on my cock," he grunted, licking his smiling lips as he leaned back against the wall, hand idly rubbing your dripping clit. "You're making a mess, darling. Leaking like that."

You're quivering all over; your cunt is spasming and your legs are complaining beneath you, but you don't stop. You lift your hips and then sink your pussy down, down until you feel his balls touching your sore ass, the sloshing sound growing louder as you move faster.

You don't think about what this'll all mean later, what you're doing giving in to him, when you scream out his name. But as soon as you did, Oikawa's growl had been your only warning.

He grabbed the back of your head and kissed you, plunging his tongue into your throat, his strong arms pressing you so close to him you can no longer tell his skin from yours, his battering heartbeat from yours.

You didn't move—weren't allowed to, when he hammered his cock into you, pounding your cunt and fucking you raw until you're breathless and nothing but a shuddering wreck, splitting at the seams in his hands as you feel thick spurts of hot cum slide out of you.

"My pretty girl," came his hoarse whisper. "My pretty, pretty girl."

The lights have dimmed, when he cradled your shaking form and moved out of you, faint traces left on just the palm lines and fingertips.

They were flooded by the sudden brightness that enveloped the storage room.

"Holy shit."

You pressed your eyes close, your entire body prickling at Oikawa’s touch.

It shouldn't be surprising, at this point, that Oikawa, as quick as he'd stripped you off of everything, has already covered you back in your jacket. The smell of it striking you ruthlessly, that old cologne that you always use to school reminding you of who you were, before all this.

Had it only been a few hours? It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Ah," Oikawa murmured. "They caught us."

"Oikawa,” someone roared. Oikawa held you, hiding your face against his chest. “Why you son of a-"

"C-coach..! Stop- Oi, someone help me hold him- no, coach! "

You heard him chuckle. “Sorry about this, everyone.” He held up his hand and you had to keep yourself from sobbing. “But, look.”

There were several gasps.

(Everybody knows now.)

“You..and her?”

The boy who said that sounded so astonished, clearly overjoyed for some reason, that it revolted you.

“Mhm,” he nodded, a smile in his voice. “Now, can you guys please give us some privacy?”

Feet shuffled out of the room, along with stuttered apologies. They all left.

Except for one.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa pouted.

“What did you do, Oikawa?”

A beat. Then, he repeated, “Iwa-chan.”

Please.

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything.

Please help me.

“Sure,” he grunted.

He was gone, too, after that.

You were back in the darkness, with nothing but the faltering red and blue on your hands and his, while he untied your wrists and kneaded the abrasion away, cooing sweet nothings to your ear.

“I hate you,” you rasped.

“Don’t say that.”

“I fucking hate you-”

“Please stop yelling-”

“I won’t ever forgive you, Oikawa!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he cried, shaking his head as he brushed your tear-stained cheeks with both thumbs. You clutched them, wanting him off you, but he only latched himself firmly into you. “We’re meant to be.”

“You’re the only one for me.”

Oikawa brought your numb hand to his face, pressing a kiss to your palm, the red light basking him in its soft glow.

“And I’m the only one for you,” he said, intertwining your fingers together.

The lights flickered in and out, at first, as you stared vacantly into it, the red and blue swallowing each other. Until they finally disappeared, leaving just you and him, curled against each other in the shadows.

#tw noncon #tw non con haikyuu #yandere oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x female reader #dark content haikyuu #prompt

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jeonbots · 3 years ago

Text

AJAR (1) | Jungkook (m)

pairing: jungkook - fem. reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff

warnings: demon!jungkook, nogitsune!jungkook, troubled!oc, minor character death, mentions of death, mention of a car accident, oc keeps nightmare-ing, jungkook is a fear demon, nogitsunes love chaos, mentions of sex, drinking, swearing, explicit sexual content such as oral (f receiving), fingering, breast playing, nipple sucking; dark rooms, blood, wounds, drugging, taehyung is a prick i'm sorry, poor oc just wants to sleep peacefully, jk won't let her, partying, overuse of the pet name ‘sugarplum’

words: 5k

a.n.: heyyyy! ik i was supposed to post that wizards of wavery place au but i havent finished it yet, i wasn't happy with it so i decided to change it up a bit. this story however has been in my drafts for about a year sooo here's the first part! it's gonna be a 2 part story :)))) enjoy

part two

/!\ UNEDITED /!\

—

You don’t remember the first time it happened. Or vaguely. Maybe five, six months ago? You’re not sure. But you do remember the darkness and the loneliness you felt at that moment. When you closed your eyes and you felt your body fall in an endless hole, skin itching uncomfortably. You had realized it itched because it was on fire, agony screeching out of your mouth and resonating in– in nothingness. And then you saw it. Its black, mundane eyes staring back at you like it was a hunter and you were its prey. You felt like suffocating until you had dug your nails into your palms hard to wake yourself up. Your body had jerked forward and you had screamed your lungs out until your throat burned, the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. From this moment forward, you hadn’t sleep an entire night without waking up crying out loud in the middle of the night, your friend rushing to you. The first week, it was the same dream. The fall, your body on fire, the suffocating air, the piercing black eyes and your anxious and frightened awaking state.

The eighth night, you opened your eyes and found yourself on a cold floor, darkness surrounding you. You blinked a few times before adjusting to the poor lighting and suddenly your body shivered as you felt someone– or something– watching you intensely. You turned your head sideways trying to find the source of your discomfort but nothing was there. Until you heard it. A laughter. It was more of a snicker really, but it ran through your whole being, shaking your insides. The voice that had mocked you out loud had been so cold and dark, almost resembling a demon that you flinched. You tried to get on your feet but the cry that broke through you stopped you. You plopped back down on the floor, looking down at your body, taking in the deep cut and the blood pouring out of your right thigh.

“Help me! Please!” You cried, tears running down your face.

No response.

You lowered your head and sobbed. “I want to wake up.” You whispered, tears soaking your shirt.

Minutes, maybe hours passed. You weren’t sure. You just knew that you had stopped crying at some point. The wound on your leg didn’t seem to stop bleeding and you felt the life force being poured out of you everytime blood gushed out of your leg. You had laid back down on the cold marble, eyes closed and your arms and legs splayed out on the ground, resembling a starfish. The snicker from earlier returned and you abruptly opened your eyes, going in a sitting position and frenetically whipping your head around the area, searching for the source of your torments.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?”

The mocking grew closer and louder, and before you knew you were pulled back down on your back, breathe knocking out of you by the sheer force of the impact. You felt your arms move on their own accord, coming to lay against your sides as slender fingers grabbed your ankle and dragged you across the room, ignoring your pleas and cries for help.

“Let me in, sugarplum.”

It was softer than the snicker, but you still caught the dark timbre lying underneath.

“Who–”

Your body suddenly came to a halt and when you looked up, a large figure was towering over you. The jolt of surprise coming out of your mouth when the stranger bent down didn’t go unnoticed as you could make out rosy lips smirking right at you in the darkness. You shuddered as the stranger passed their fingers up your leg, ghosting over your wound before pressing down on it harshly with his palm. You cried out and tried to back off but your attempts were futile as two strong hands suddenly grabbed your hips, throwing you over a strong shoulder as they began to walk to some direction, you didn’t really know. You thrashed in the stranger’s hold, crying even more than before and before you knew, you were carelessly thrown on a mattress. Seconds later you heard footsteps and the click of a door, meaning you had been locked up in some room.

You sighed shakily as you glanced around the room. On your right, there was a small dusty bedside table with one drawer, a small lamp put on top of it and a box of matches right next to it. In the corner of the room, you could make out a maroon desk with some journals sprawled out on top of it and next to it a door closed, probably the one the stranger used to bring you here. However, on the opposite wall to your right there was another door. This one was slightly open. You frowned and forced yourself to get off the mattress, struggling to get on your feet. The second you were standing your legs gave away and you fell forward, landing on the nearest wall as your palms impacted your fall. The wall rubbed harshly against your skin as you let out a small cry, gasping at the pain running throughout your entire body.

How could a dream feel so real?

You brushed the thoughts off and started walking towards what you thought was your only way out of there, even if you knew deep down that it was not. You still were pretty much pressed against the wall, slowly making your way towards the strange door. When you finally reached it, you pressed a hand firmly against the wall as the other went to shakily grab the handle.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sugarplum.”

You froze.

No. Please.

You didn’t move. Not an inch. Not even to open the door completely or to turn around to meet your captor. But you sensed him shifting closer until his front was pressed against your back, an arm snaking around your waist to keep you close as you closed your eyes instinctively. His breathe fanned over your shoulder, lips brushing against your ear.

“Do you really want to face your biggest fears now?” He whispered.

“Please... let me go...” You whimpered.

“This is not the way out, sugarplum.”

He grabbed at your hips and spun you around and you yelped when you were met with familiar black eyes. Your own eyes grew wide and you took a few steps back until your back hit the wall softly. Even in all this darkness, the only thing you could make out about his appearance was complete dark and cold set of eyes.

“If you want out,” he followed your steps until he was hovering above your fragile and wounded form, “you just gotta let me in.” He ducked his head into the space between your neck and shoulder, nipping at your earlobe.

“Who are you?” You breathe out, staring at an invisible dot at the wall opposite to the one you’re pressed against.

He chuckled against your ear and a shiver ran down your spine. Yeah, that was straight up demonic.

He pulled his head out of your neck and leaned an arm on one side of your head against the wall and brought the other one around your jaw, lifting your head up to meet his intimidating gaze.

“Your worst nightmare, sugarplum.”

Then he laughed. It rang loud enough in your ear and you could hear the darkness in his mocking tone as he turned around and walked away from you. And suddenly, you were screaming. Screaming as you sat up in familiar warmth, hands fisting your sheets and tears running down your face. Realization dawn upon you as your cries had lowered in volume and you quickly pushed the covers aside, relief washing over you as your right thigh was not wounded. No blood, no horrible deep cut that made you want to puke. Your breathing was labored as you whimpered, the door of your room opening in a hurry.

“Fuck.” Your friend cursed out before making her way to you, sitting on the bed.

“I–I’m fine, I’m okay. It’s okay.” You avoided her gaze, hand coming to wipe off the tears on your red cheeks.

“No, you’re not Y/N. How long are you gonna keep this up? It’s been a whole fucking week and I don’t fucking know what’s happening to you. It scares the shit out of me.” Henri softly grabbed your head in her two hands, turning your head to meet her gaze as she rubbed your cheeks with her thumbs in a comforting way.

You breathed out shakily. “I think I’m going crazy.” You whispered, lower lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill out again.

“Let’s get you some help. Please.” She pleaded as she bore her eyes into yours. You nodded after a long minute and you saw the look of relief wash over your best friend’s face. She leaned forward as she pressed a kiss to your forehead then engulfing you in his arms. You rested your head on her shoulder as she rubbed your back.

“So, what happened before the incident?”

Three weeks later you were in seated in a beige sofa– a pretty comfy one, you had to admit– for your fourth therapy session with an older woman facing you on her baby pink armchair, her auburn hair styled up in a neat bun, a white dress-shirt tucked in a surprisingly colorful long skirt covering her legs as she had crossed one over the other. You learned after your first session that she liked fashion, noticing that her outfits were always on point and that she definitely should give you some advice. When you had woken up this morning, you had taken a quick shower and thrown on a grey sweater with matching grey sweatpants, not bothering to put make-up on. Why would you? You were about to talk about your deepest fears with a total stranger. You were glancing at the clock hung up on the wall nervously before she spoke up again at your silence.

“I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me, Y/N.” Her tone was soft and you felt your throat tighten.

You cleared your throat rather awkwardly. “Uh, I was out with some friends.” You nodded mostly to yourself but she hummed, telling you that she was all ears even though she was sometimes glancing down at her notepad to write something. “And, uh, there was this new club that opened on South Lake. We wanted to check it out and we were dressed accordingly so... we went. When we arrived there, the club was pretty full and we lost track of each other at some point... Uh, and I was pretty drunk. So I made out with a friend of mine and we uh, fucked. Yeah, pretty intense fuck if you ask me.” You laugh awkwardly as you saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. She was comforting, somehow.

“So yeah, I fucked the guy then I called my br-”

The words died in your throat as you froze. Clarisse felt you tense under her stare but nothing changed on her face.

“You were going to talk about your older brother, Jason?”

You lowered your head and started fidgeting with your fingers placed in your lap, gulping as you felt your eyes water. You hadn’t realized in your storytelling that you were going to have to bring up that subject at some point. You nodded shakily, a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I should’ve never done that.” You whispered and the last words came out in a broken whimper. The woman opened her mouth, about to talk but was cut off by your sudden voicing.

“Is it over yet?” Clarisse jumped slightly at the way you had abruptly raised your head, looking at the awful clock as you brought your hands to your face to wipe off the tears with the sleeves of your sweater.

“Y/N–”

“Oh,” you fake-heartedly laughed, cheeks still stained with wetness, “would you look at that! It’s been an hour already.”

“Wait–”

“Goodbye, Ms. Blackwood.”

You had already grabbed your bag and bolted out of the door as Clarisse sat on her chair, dumbfounded.

You never went back to therapy. A small part of you felt bad for leaving the kind woman in her confusion but the other part– the larger one– was relieved you didn’t have to go through painful memories anymore.

College isn’t as hard as you’ve imagined. Ever since your brother’s death you had found the world of books and words fascinating. At first, your roommate would ogle at you like you were some kind of wild animal who had escaped from the zoo then she understood the change in behavior. You were quite the party girl before the car crash; always going out with friends, having fun in summer homes or going to frat parties. And now you’ve become what people call a ‘bookworm’. Of course, it doesn’t take your mind off the horrendous and painful nightmares you’re having every night, but it helps get yourself distracted from the intense ache in your chest. At first you had tried booze to keep your mind off the terrible monsters haunting you but all it did was giving you painful aftermath headaches and a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach. The last time you got really drunk, you threw up your entire stomach in some random front lawn and you collapsed on the grass, dazing off to a sleeping state. And your eyes closed slowly until you woke up in a familiar dark room, pleading and begging to be released.

You swore you’d never drink again.

“Y/N!” A warm breathe tickles the side of your face and you turn your head sideway to face the person who’s arm is draped around your shoulders, the other coming to settle around your waist, clinging to you loosely.

“You’re drunk,” you state, looking at your friend’s giggling form.

“And you’re not,” she pouts as she leans a bit more on your frame. “Come on, get drunk with us Y/N.” Her words are slurred.

“Henri,” you sigh. Your nightmares aren’t unknown to your friend, in fact, when it first happened, she was the first person you called, your sobbing making her heart ache through the receiver. She had decided to join you that night, knocking at your door fifteen minutes later, hands full of junk food and candy. You had spent majority of the night laughing and eating your fears away, Henri wanting to make you feel better. After that night, she’d decided to move in with you.

You look down your half-empty cup, the brown-ish liquid taunting you. You can practically see its mocking smile, waves of gold beaming through the dark beverage. “You know I won’t.” Before she can protest though, her warmth disappears and you hear her gasp and you see from the corner of your eyes the boy you recognize as her boyfriend Justin pressing his lips against hers, silently rolling your eyes.

The living room is packed with people grinding against each other, kissing in corners or going up the stairs, probably to fuck their sexual frustration away. Justin’s frat house always throws the most anticipated parties in the campus, and of course Henri wouldn’t miss it for the world. They’re like– the must-go parties, house full of free booze and weed in every corner, half of the campus always attends them. You hadn’t gone to a party in forever though, still traumatized by the last time you were blackout drunk but Henri had insisted the whole week and you said yes just a few hours ago. You didn’t feel like dressing up but she almost screamed at you to at least make an effort and you settled on a high-waisted black denim skirt that stops mid-thigh and a black tube top tucked underneath with some white sneakers after a long hour of Henri rummaging through your closet.

“Y/N!”

Turning your head to the familiar voice, you smile as the dark-haired man you’ve grown to appreciate the company of walks towards you with his own beaming smile.

“Oh, I’ve missed you!” He engulfs you in his arms as you giggle before awkwardly patting his back with your free hand.

“I’ve missed you too, Taehyung.”

Justin was the one to introduce you to Taehyung at his birthday party three years ago. He had been Justin’s drug dealer for quite a few years and he had been hooking you up ever since. Deciding to stop doing drugs ultimately made you stop calling Taehyung for weed and cocaine, and you two lost touch as the months went by.

“It’s been– what, about a year?” He says as he steps back, rubbing the back of his neck. You briefly glance at his appearance, loose black dress shirt and the tight fitting jeans hanging on his hips. The shirt’s collar is large enough to have his collarbone peeking out of the fabric, your thighs clenching under your skirt. You skillfully hide your evident arousal as you learned to do over the years and look back up only to find yourself squirming when you notice his lingering gaze on your breasts covered by the thin fabric of the tube top. He slowly licks his lips and you bite back a whine, your slick arousal already starting to seep through your panties and onto your inner thighs.

“Ten months,” you correct with an apologetic smile on your lips.

“Yeah,” he looks back into your eyes at your words and nods before looking around the place, not an ounce of shame taking over his features for being caught staring. “Uh, I haven’t had the chance to, uh, say it but I’m sorry for your loss.”

You gulp as you look down at your drink. “Thanks–”

“W-well not the chance but you know what I mean.”

You giggle as you shake your head. “It’s okay. Thank you, Tae. It really means a lot.”

Memories flood through your mind as you recall the times you would get high with Henri, Justin, Taehyung and a few other friends before the accident, all spread out on the couch and the carpet of some random house as you’d talk and laugh about basically anything. You’d say those were the happiest moments of your life and you’d do anything to turn back time and have this short yet vivid moment of happiness running through your veins just one more time, dopamine spreading through your whole being. And those nights you had spent in Taehyung’s bed, his cock pounding your walls as he sucked bruises onto your skin, the delicious drag of his length sending you over the edge.

As if answering your– unwanted –prayers, Taehyung slowly approaches you with a sly smirk, a hand propped on the counter beside your hip as he leans over your figure. You look up at him quizzically.

“I thought maybe,” he licks his lips as he glances down at your lips and back at your eyes, “you’d want to have some fun.”

You raise an eyebrow as his free hand digs into his jeans’ pocket, a small plastic bag dangling from his fingers as he lifts his hand at eyes level. You’d recognize those blue pills anywhere.

“No.”

“C’mon, Y/N. Just one, like old times.”

The hand that was on the counter comes hovering your neck, his slender fingers softly caressing the skin there. You shudder as his palm grabs your nape more firmly, his thumb rubbing the side of your neck.

“Taehyu–”

His sudden lips on your ear clamps your mouth shut and your eyes flutter, the lids closing as he starts to suck on the lobe. The grip on your half-empty cup weakens and you hastily put it down on the counter behind you, a few droplets of alcohol spilling on the marble. He presses his chest against yours as he starts kissing down your neck, licking and sucking until he reaches your collarbone where he vacuums the skin in his pink-tinted lips, a whimper making its way past your own. His arms snake around your waist and press you even harder against him as you grab his biceps for leverage, his hard-on poking at your thigh as you gradually let your head fall back.

You don’t notice the small blue pill he manages to sneakily drop into your beverage, its shape dissolving in the drink to slowly disappear into the abyss of its intoxication.

“Holy fuck.”

Your back arched against the mattress and your eyes closed in unadulterated bliss as Taehyung laps at your clit, you moan shamelessly as your hips jerk at each flick of his tongue against your cunt. He hungrily devours your sex and your buzzed state doesn’t protest even after your third orgasm. You still haven’t touched his cock.

“Ho– fuck– Tae, stop, I can’t– ngh– too much.”

He reluctantly leans away from your pussy, mouth and chin covered in your juices as he hovers your fucked out state, his smirk growing wider as he wipes your arousal off his face with the back of his hand.

“I still gotta fuck you full of my cum, baby.”

You release a shaky breath as you bite your lower lip, one hand seductively traveling down the expense of his chest through his shirt as your lust-painted eyes drink in his features. As you reach down his jeans, you subtly grab his crotch as you palm his hardened length, his breathing growing heavier.

“You’re still that needy?” He chuckles and you nod, boring your eyes into his as you lean forward to pepper kisses on his jaw.

You whine when his deft fingers rub your slit, coating his digits with your cum. “Fuck me, please. It’s been so long.”

“I know baby, I know.” He suddenly shoves two fingers in your sloppy hole, a moan slipping past your lips. “Gotta stretch you first for my cock.”

The sudden yet pleasurable stretch has your eyes rolling back in your skull, his skillful fingers pumping in and out of your heat at a delirious pace as your hands fist the sheets beneath you. His thumb comes rubbing at your clit and your hips jerk in his palm, loud moans escaping your parted lips. The stretch of a third finger in your walls has your orgasm spiraling at full speed, untamed pleasure hitting you for the fourth time tonight, your lips parting in a silent scream as you plop your head back down on the sheets.

“Fuck,” the man curses under his breath as he lazily fucks you through your climax, his own hard-on becoming way too painful. You slowly catch your breath as his fingers slip out of your heat and he presses his hips into yours, your thighs caging his waist.

You smile up at him through closed eyes, your high slowly descending and when your heartbeat regains its original pace, you open your eyes.

And your smile falters.

Familiar cold dark orbs are staring right back at you instead of the warm brown of Taehyung’s pupils, and you try to squirm away but find it impossible as the same invisible force pins you down.

“I– you–”

He chuckles.

“Sugarplum, long time no see.” His hand strokes your hair and you whimper, your legs still locked around the man’s waist.

“Please,” you whisper weakly, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“I don’t want to hurt you, sugarplum.”

In this new lighting and his proximity, you can see the man’s face clearer than any of the previous encounters. As he leans forward to nose at your cheek, you can finally see his features and your lips part in shock.

His eyes are beautiful. A dazing shape, his dark orbs morphing into soft doe eyes, the tip of his nose almost kissable and his lips– God, his lips look delicious. Soft, plump lips so inviting, and you can’t help the hand hovering his face, your fingers gently caressing his plumpness. His dark hair falls messily around his head and you have the sudden urge to comb your fingers through his locks just to feel the silk-like strands through your digits.

He is demonically magnificent.

His free hand reaches to envelop your curious one, his eyes boring into yours. You shudder under his gaze and instead of cowering, you bring your other hand to push a strand away from his forehead.

“See? I’m no monster.” He smiles sweetly– almost too sweetly– and you gulp.

“What do you want from me?”

“I’ve told you countless times, sugarplum.”

His hand slides to your wrist in a harsh grip and you gasp as the other hand curls around your neck, squeezing your throat as he cuts off your air supply.

“Let me in.”

You whimper as the grip on your throat is unbearable, making you writhe under his hold. His hips ruth into yours and your naked cunt rubs against the material of his pants harshly, the outline of his obviously hard cock digging into your slit. As you feel yourself slowly falling into unconsciousness, he releases your throat and ascends down to your collarbone, reaching your tube top and pulling it down, a moan vibrating through his chest at the sight of your bare breasts. Each of his hand cups your mounds, his thumbs and forefingers pinching each pebbled nipple as you whine, your teeth caging your lower lip in a futile attempt to keep quiet. He notices that and releases a breast to harshly slap your thigh around his waist. You jolt in surprise and look at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t hold back. You sounded so sweet earlier.”

He doesn’t let you respond as he dives his head in, taking a nipple into his mouth to suck on the mound as he squeezes the other with his hand, pinching the nub in between his fingers. The moan that escapes your lips is unraveling, your hips automatically grinding against his in hope to find purchase. When he’s done with one breast, he does the same to the other one before pulling away, a hand stroking your hair affectionately as he stares at you.

“So beautiful.”

The blush on your cheeks isn’t going unnoticed and he smirks, his gaze lingering on your breasts heaving due to your ragged breathing. He then looks back up at your face before leaning forward and gently pecking your lips in a close-mouthed kiss, once, twice, then he starts trailing down your jaw to your neck, sucking bruises for everyone to see. You whine as you thread your fingers in his hair, and before you register it he has plunged two fingers in your heat, your stomach clenching to oversensitivity.

You moan as you buck your hips in his hand, surprised to even have enough energy to respond to the demon’s ministrations. His fingers are thick enough to hit all the right places and when his thumb strokes your engorged clit, your fifth orgasm of the night couldn’t have come sooner, a drawn-out moan escaping your swollen lips. As your walls squeeze his fingers deeply in your pussy, he groans above you before planting kisses down your throat. Leaning away from your neck as he pulls his fingers out, your arousal drips down his digits and you see strings of your slick juices connecting them when he parts them. Embarrassment manifesting in the red of your cheeks, you stare at the man happily lapping at his arousal-coated fingers, his pink lips wrapped around the skin.

“H–how did I get here?” You quietly ask as soon as your breathing came to normal. His furrowed eyebrows encourage the next words flowing past your lips, his digits falling free from the grip of his lips.

“I– I wasn’t asleep nor drunk and–”

The entire evening you made sure that you weren’t drinking too much, even had Justin’s special party booze out of tonight’s menu. Surely, you would remember if you had fallen asleep. Wait, had you passed out while Taehyung was fucking you? No way, you weren’t drunk. You hadn’t taken any substance or drugs or pills-

Pills. Blue, soft, dangerous pills.

Realization hits you in the guts and you suddenly find it hard to breathe. The way he had kissed your neck, your momentarily forgotten cup on the counter, his wandering hands–

“He,” you whisper, breath hitching as you choke out a whimper, “he drugged me?”

Gently, he places a kiss on your cheek. “Sugarplum.”

“He– he drugged me, and that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” The aching in your chest is too much for your heavy state and you start blinking away tears you didn’t know had started to pool at the corner of your eyes.

He sighs above you, his breath fanning over your face. Plopping down on the space next to you on the bed as he frees himself from the grip your thighs had around him, his hand gently strokes your naked waist until he reaches your breast, softly rubbing the skin as his thumb lightly flicks over your nipple. In an attempt to soothe your pain, you assume.

Trust is overrated, you conclude.

Here you are; crying over a man you’d learn to like over the past few years as the man you’ve been running from comforts your burning heart.

“It is,” he affirms and you don’t even question how he managed to answer your unspoken thoughts. The sob that breaks past your lips is heart wrenching and you bring your hands to your face, covering the entirety of it as the tears flow freely down your face.

He turns to you and envelops your shaken form in his embrace, your chest pressed against his as he runs a soothing hand down the expanse your bare back. And that’s how you fall asleep that night, without the nightmare that usually haunts your sleepless mind and instead, you find solace in the very man you’d grown to despise.

-----

#jungkook reader #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook #jungkook smut #smut #angst #fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #taehyung #kim taehyung

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heizours · 2 years ago

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hello howl! so uh,, im lowkey shy to say this as i reblog that one work of yours— and honestly, you may or may not find out who am i at the end of this ask :')

idk why im shy all of the sudden,, maybe bcs it's so not me to express my genuine feelings and if you were to openly see who i am (bcs of my username), i'll be shyly panicking idk why im sorry 😭 so im gonna let out everything that i've got in my heart here— psst, it's 3:30am here rn and i've got school at 7:20am but lets not mind that shall we

so like, that work of yours, i dont exactly remember its title but its context is s/o asking them for a hug and ended up crying in their embrace. yeah that one. i extremely love it— and is attached to it. idk why either, it's just lovely and perfect. whenever i feel like wanting comfort, from a certain character actually, i'll reread that one specific work. believe me when i say i've read it for so many times. it does comfort me, it did bring out tears too– like, i got so immersed everytime, it's easy to self indulge myself in your writings and those characters giving comfort feels so real. just then i realise that, i should be thanking you really <3

you are the one who wrote it, who actually, unconsciously comforting me. so thank you really, thank you so much howl! millions and millions of thanks. when that 'time' hits, i'll search for your username then went to your masterlist and find it. as im reading it, i'll cry. after that im fine. see, it's the magic of your comfort :D i do love all of your works, but that one has a special place in my heart (pls this is so weird for me to say but its the truth JSKNSKANW bye)

so yeahh :] thats it i guess?? this is my first time interacting with you so i hope i didn't weirded you out. im awfully sorry if i did without realising it. and i honesty dont know which one should i give so i'll just give all. thank you once again, im very much appreciating your existence. have a nice day, howl!

🍀

anon, you really don't know what impact you just did to me. truthfully, i don't consider myself as a good writer when it comes to comfort fics or in any general aspect but hearing from someone like you that i unconsciously helped you when that 'time' hits you again, makes my heart genuinely swell

it makes me happy to know that i was able to comfort and encourage a person like you through my writing—and please do believe me when i said that your ask had wholeheartedly and unintenionally gave me more motivation to continue writing and to give love and comfort to the people who could only find it in the internet

at first, i actually didn't expect that my writing could be the source of someone's crying shoulder but you had proved me wrong with that opinion, you made me realize that even in the smallest things i could be able to help people even if it could be done as the bare minimum, and i'm happy that i was able to help you even though were nothing more than strangers

believe it or not, your last sentence hits too close to home, maybe it just feels weird (in a good way) for someone to tell me that they appreciate my existence— or maybe because those were the words that i've been yearning for all this time, but never had the chance to be aware about it. knowing that someone like you out there appreciates my existence, gives me the temporary peace that i'm looking for and i would like to thank you for that <33

it's a great pleasure to interact with you!! please do not think that i will be weirded out by this kind of ask, as this type of interactions never fails to make me smile. in the future, i hope i can continue to give you the comfort that you need, and know that you're not enduring it alone if that 'time' comes back again 💗

#. . . .୨୧ ( mail )#. . . .୨୧ ( teapot anons )#my heart is about to burst into tears

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haechanhues · 3 years ago

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since it’s been like over 2 weeks here’s an updated version!

Hyunsuk - too be honest if i were to ever meet him, and if it was ever emotional i’d be kinda afraid to just in case he’d cry. his laugh is an instant boost of serotonin. i love his rapping. he honestly makes me emotional and i’m so proud of his character, his achievements and the way he’s so involved with music and the world around him.

Jihoon - sigh. has my heart and soul. i’m whipped for him. everyone knows it too. they just need to look at my posts and then they’re sorted. the amount of times a particular person has caught me being sappy and mushy over him is ridiculous. i want him to get ink on his arm. i caught myself checking out his thighs and calves today. i feel like a animal stalking its prey. he’s so mean but i love it?!

Yoshi - i find myself watching a lot of his compilations lately. i’m also trying to find a particular video where he’s getting his photo taken and (i just remember jeongwoo and junghwan being there) and they’re all like marvelling about how photogenic yoshinori is. which he is. he made me cry the other day with the letters from mum and i watched the reaction cam for ep 6.

Junkyu - juyoung, the younger brother in true beauty actually reminded me of junkyu in episode 13 (my flattie is watching the series) there’s quite a bit of words that he says that i really enjoy hearing him say? - i love the way he said cockroach in hello82 drawing game, some english words cause he actually pronounces them really well but with like a deepish accent?, love seeing and hearing him laugh.

Mashiho - again, he’s so good at everything. and he’s quiet about it as well. everytime he’s in shot he’s always just looking at someone fondly but never taking too much room or whatever. but when he gets in the zone and he just belts something out or laughs really loudly it’s always impactful in some way like whenever he does that my heart just grows for him.

Jaehyuk - he’s super affectionate and sweet. naww. like the way he acts with teumes and everything naww. like he leaves his traces for his fans to find and i think that’s so sweet. and he’s got a bit of a mean streak too i notice haha. he’s still super funny but also very supportive and tends to take care of the people who may be under the weather or not quite feeling the best which is a sort of person that everyone should appreciate.

Doyoung - the way he can just let go of himself to deliver some of his lines. him basically cry laughing at the secret santa type of video that treasure did is so cute. doyoung deserves every little cuddle and affection. he also kind of just readily accepts others and their strange quirks, and he’s got a sort of personality i’ve never really seen before and i think he’s super interesting.

Yedam - still really fucking talented. i also saw that he does tend to get emotional here and there but he’s honestly the cutest. THE SMILE AND THE LAUGH. There’s one particular video where I just can’t help but coo at him. But a truly beautiful person, I’m serious. I listened to Wayo to bed and I was in that state where I was awake but not really awake. Like I felt like I was meditating and it’s such a relaxing song. I love his voice.

Asahi - I’m so excited to talk about him you have no idea. I’m going through an Asahi spurt so~ But like he actually smiles quite a lot and he laughs a lot and it feels truly rewarding when he does. Like last time I talked about how he kind of intimidated me at the start but now he really doesn’t and I truly think he’s one of the members that instantly calms me down when I see him. Like, I want to have a proper conversation with him because idk I just get the vibe he’s definitely someone you should have a meaningful conversation with if you have the opportunity.

Jeongwoo - He’s not as loud as i thought he would be. I am in love with his voice. I watched a couple fansign videos just because and he does not know how to take compliments aye he gets like all embarrassed and all it’s so cute. I was also watching a TMI (??? I think) where it was like the boyfriend simulation and he didn’t know how to act. I find it so funny that he can be shameless at one point and another he’s all like embarrassed and bashful. It’s so cute. ‘I’m just an ugly citizen’ he says WHAT A JOKE. Him during that web drama though - he suits the character for sure.

Haruto - I find him harder to write this for, I don’t know why he was one of the easier ones to write for last time but I’m really struggling this time. But in general I love how he just exists. I know how it looks like a cop out but I promise you it’s not. His eyes and his hair first of all are so glittery and pretty and man I love his eyes so much. I also find it funny how most of the time he looks like he wants to go home but he always does things in the end and he’s not afraid to say anything. He kind of just adapts to the people around him which I find really cool. Like he’s not just a one dimensional character and it shows. (That was terrible, I’m sorry Haruto)

Junghwan - That ‘different’ line in Boy. It’s so easy to distinguish it as Junghwan’s voice and idk it makes me really fond of him when I can hear him without seeing him. Like I’ll be on the bus or plane and hear him sing that line and like instant dopamine and serotonin. I want to say the exact same thing I said last time but he’s truly the sweetest and I want to see him smile in real life. I truly regard him as a little angel. His laugh too <3 it’s so dorky but I love him. I’m just too fond of this boy.

Treasure - In general. I’ve been excited to write this segment all day and yet I’ve got nothing at the moment. I binge watched Treasure Map and no wonder I see a lot of people watching it. It’s so entertaining and every episode is quite different or like the same but with a little added extra. I’m so happy I stan Treasure now though, like truly happy. They’ve made me laugh and cry a lot already and it’s been a total of 2-3 weeks. But they’re all so lovely and I’m starting to really love them all.

#YG Treasure #Treasure #treasure hyunsuk #treasure jihoon #treasure junkyu #treasure mashiho #treasure jaehyuk #treasure asahi #treasure yedam #treasure doyoung #treasure haruto #treasure jeongwoo #treasure junghwan

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inseongsfoxybae · 4 years ago

Text

Now and forever

Pairing: Boyfriend Yoo Taeyang + Female Reader x Best Friend Hwiyoung

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Amnesia, mentions of drunkenness, break up

Words: 6,5k

Requested: Hi sunshine! First of all, congratulations on starting your blog and I can’t wait for what you’re going to write😚 Second, if it’s not a bother, as a fellow Fantasy, can I make a request for Hwiyoung? Like where the reader and Taeyang are dating, but the reader had an accident which caused her Amnesia, and then she starts remembering Hwiyoung? And whatever ending you feel is right you can do it🥰 Hope that wasn’t too much to ask for.. Although if that doesn’t bother you can I be🐣 anon? Thanks💖

Author's message: Dear 🐣 anon, I'm so sorry I took that long to deliver your request, but I want to say that it's finally here and I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you like it and feel free to send in a new request when you want. Thank you 😊❤️

P.S: As english is not my mother language, it may contain misspelled. Plus, sorry if there’s any other mistakes :)

Synopsis: Blurry memories and an old friend entered in your life again and now you have to decide where your heart lives: in an beautiful past or in an uncertain future.

A car accident has changed your life forever. Apparently, it was nothing too serious, but the strong impact on your head made you lost your memory completely and the doctors said it could last forever. Since then, the cute boy who has introduced himself as your boyfriend never left your side and, with your parents not being able to take care of you, he was the one responsible for you.

You tried to drive Taeyang away so many times for the past months, but now you finally starting to trust him and accepting his feelings, even if you’re not sure about your own feelings yet. Of course, he never pressured you about anything on your relationship, he just stayed with you and took care of your fragile being. He talks about your favorite things, shows some pictures and videos of your parents, friends and, of course, you too together, so you can know your beloved ones again little by little.

After several months struggling to back to your normal life, Taeyang finally succeeds in getting you out of the house. On a pleasant saturday morning, he was helping you to prepare some of your favorite dishes for a picnic while hummed sweetly a song he knows you used to love. After all the food is ready, you packed everything and leave your flat to the park right in front your building.

Taeyang found a nice place near the little lake of the park for you to have your first date after a long time, so you both set everything on the blanket and finally were able to spend some quality time together. Taeyang sat down next to you, your knees touching, but he knew he couldn't get closer than this yet, with you still assimilating your feelings and new life. You talked about that beautiful day while eating - the birds singing on the trees, the calm waters of the lake, the sound of children laughing. A little cherry blossom got stuck on your hair and Taeyang took it off delicately and put it on your small hands, using this chance to intertwine your fingers together. You looked up at thim with curious eyes and he whispered a soft “I love you”.

At that moment, a flash crossed your mind and you suddenly saw a strange face. Startled, you pulled your hands abruptly and your face got pale, your heart pounding hard on your chest. “Y/N, are you okay?”, Taeyang asked worried. “I-I’m okay… I just… I don’t know…”, you looked nervous all of a sudden and Taeyang thought it was about his confession, feeling a little upset. “Don’t worry, Tae. Something weird just passed through my mind, but I’m okay now”, you tried to comfort him. “Did you remember anything?”. “No, it was just a random optical illusion”. ”Are you sure? Wanna go home now?”, he asked started to packed the rest of the food you left. “No, Tae. Seriously, I’m fine. And you promised to take me to a walk on the beach, remember? I still want to go there”, you said holding his hands again. He gave you a little smile and you got all your things and took his car on your way to the beach.

When you get there, the summer breeze blew in your face and you couldn’t suppress a large smile at the feeling of the warm sand underneath your bare feet. Taeyang stared at you fondly and was caught out of guard when you looked at him, his cheeks blushing hard as you laugh at this cuteness. You then pushed him and stuck out your tongue, starting to run away from him. “Catch me if you can, silly!”, you screamed as he started to run behind you. “If I catch you, will you kiss me?”, he screamed back. “Maybe…”, you answered giggling. It gave him strength and, in a blink of a eye, he caught you, hugging you from behind. You both couldn’t stop laughing when he spun you around before turning your body to face him and cupping your cheeks. Your eyes met and he connected your lips in a slow soft kiss but still able to take your breath away while you melt between his arms.

As soon as you broke away for air and opened your eyes, another image flashed through your eyes with the same strange guy occupying Taeyang’s place in front of you. You suddenly felt dizzy and your vision blurred, almost falling if your boyfriend’s arms weren’t holding you strong. “Baby, what happened?”, Taeyang asked lifting your head. “Tae, I wanna go home now”, you answered breaking his embrace around you. Once you got in your apartment, you told Taeyang to leave you alone. He knew you needed some space and time to process everything, so he just obliged and went home tough he were too worried. You were not rejecting Taeyang, you were just too scared of what’s going on with your mind. “Who is that guy?”, “Why does he insist on appearing right in front of my eyes when I’m with Tae?”.

When you finally calmed down, hours later, you realized you didn’t say anything about the kiss to Taeyang and immediately text him.

Y/N: Hi, Tae. I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I think I still need some time to myself. But, please, don’’t worry. It’s not your fault. Hope you understand TT

He answered back right away.

T: Don’t worry with me, Y/N. Are you fine now?

Y/N: Yes, I’m feeling a little better and going to bed now.

T: Okay. You know you can call me anytime if you need something, right?

Y/N: I know, Tae. Thank you <3 Have a good night!

T: Sleep well, Y/N. See you again tomorrow?

Y/N: Sure. Bye :*

Y/N: P.S: I enjoyed the kiss, so don’t give on me yet, okay? ^.^

T: I definitely won’t ;)

~~~~

As days passing by, your strange visions seemed to be even more frequent and clear, like flashbacks of your life before the accident. Although you tried to disguise the discomfort they caused, Taeyang always noticed something was wrong with you and though he was the problem. “Y/N”, he called you one night when you were walking on the park. “Hm…”, you looked at him. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”, he asked serious. You froze and your mind went blank. “I mean, we’re always together but it seems like you are so far away from me. You’re super affectionate at times, but change completely one minute later… Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you”, he continued. “Please, Y/N”, he insisted when you didn’t speak a word.

You couldn’t move a single muscle, your heart bit fast, your breath was heavy and you couldn't manage to say a single phrase. All you could that time was crying, sobbing, falling on your knees in a despair your boyfriend couldn't understand. You felt his strong arms embracing you and leaned in on his warm body, your sobbs causing you to shake hard against him. He guided you to sit on a bench and soothed you with small rubs on your back. When you recovered your breath, you managed to whisper a little “I’m sorry” for him. He just kissed your forehead and stayed quiet. Some minutes later, you start to talk again. “I’m having some flashbacks, Tae. Another guy that I don’t know appears on my mind everytime I’m with you and it scares me a lot”. “Why does it scare you?”, Taeyang tried to be strong and stable, but he was scared too. “I don’t even know... I’m just afraid of who he can be or mean to me”. Taeyang tensed around you, but still managed to hold you tighter. “Don’t think about it too much, okay? And I’m always here with you, so don’t worry”, he said trying to comforting you and himself.

Next morning, you were talking to your mom about these visions trying to get some help or advices.

Y/M: What’s he like?

Y/N: He’s a little shorter than Tae, with a long hair and a gummy smile. Do you know someone like this, mom?

Y/M: Of course I do, Y/N. His name is Kim Hwiyoung and he used to be your best friend when you were kids. But he just disappeared when you graduated on college.

Y/N: Why did he go away? And why I never saw a picture of him?

Y/M: No one know why he ran away nor where he lives now. And he never liked to take pictures, that’s right you probably have nothing with him. But maybe Taeyang can help you to find him now. Ask him.

Y/N: Mom, I can’t ask Tae to look for another guy for me.

Y/M: Why not? It’s not like you’re cheating on him. Go and ask him some help.

Y/N: Fine. I’ll try it.

When your boyfriend arrived at your house later that day, you decided to try it out. “Tae, I need you to take me to someone”, you speak in a nervous whisper. “Of course, baby. Who?”, he answered with a sweet smile. “Kim Hwiyoung”, you revealed and Taeyang froze. “Why him?”, he asked with a dark look after a few seconds. “He’s the one on my flashbacks and my mother said he was my best friend but ran away when we graduated. I need to see him now and try to discover why I’ve been having these visions. Do you know where he lives, right?”. Taeyang couldn’t answer, he barely couldn’t breath. He was nervous and lost in thoughts. Why him? Why now?. “Tae, do you know where Hwiyoung lives?”, you insisted catching his attention again. “No, not anymore”, he finally answered. “Does some of the guys know?”. “I don’t know, Y/N. We don’t talk with him in ages”. “Can you ask them? Please…”, you held his cold hands.

Taeyang reach out for his phone and called someone. After three lost calls, Chani finally answered. “What, hyung?”. “I need you to do me a favor. Now”, Taeyang talked serious. “What favor?”, Chani asked worried. “You know where Hwiyoung lives, right? Send me his address as fast as you can. I’m waiting for your message”, then he ended the call before Chani could speak anything. A couple of minutes later, Chani sent Hwiyoung’s address and added “Hope you won’t do any shit, hyung”. “Don’t worry. It’s for Y/N”, Taeyang simply answered and turned to you. “I got his address. Let’s go there now and back before nightfall”, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the door. “Wait, Tae! Give me a time to get ready”, you whined. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m going with you and nothing bad will happen”, your boyfriend squeezed your hand. “I know, I’m just… nervous”, you whisper. “C'mon. Let’s get this over, huh?”, you nodded and he opened the door.

About an hour later, you arrived at a small building and got out of the car. “It��s here”, Taeyang said as you left out a nervous “yes”. He held your hand tight and knocked the door. Some seconds passed till a strange guy open it. “Hello, how can I help you?”, he asked a little surprised. “Hi, we’re looking for Kim Hwiyoung. Is he here?”, Taeyang said politely. “He is. What’s your name?”, at his answer you froze and your heart skipped a beat. “Tell him Yoo Taeyang wants to talk, please”, your boyfriend gave a small friendly smile at the guy. “Okay. You can wait at the lobby. I’ll tell him you’re here”. “Thank you”, Taeyang said and both of you entered the building. The room had a minimalist decoration with some instruments and polaroids hanging on the wall, and some soft music resonated through the doors. “It’s a studio”, you whispered to Taeyang. “Yes, he studied music on college and always wanted his own business. I think he got it”, he answered quietly. “Tae, why do you never talk about him?”, you asked suddenly curious. “I thought he was past. But seems he’s still a threat for us…”, Taeyang was cautious with his words. “Threat? What do you mean?”. Before he could answer, the guy appeared once again. “He’s a little busy now and asked what do you want”, he shyly said. “YAH, KIM HWIYOUNG! DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M THE ONE WHO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU? IT’S Y/N, YOU FOOL! Y/N IS HERE!”, Taeyang yelled high enough to any person on that building to hear, making you surprised and even more nervous.

At the mention of your name, on the other side of the closed studio room, Hwiyoung’s heart raced like he just woke up of a nightmare. He immediately got up of his seat and opened the door wide, only to see you standing in front of him after three years, more beautiful than ever. You both were froze, just staring at each other, hearts beating fast and bodies shaking. “I think it’s better if you have some time alone to talk. I’m waiting for you in the car, Y/N”, Taeyang broke the silence and left the building, the tension and old memories being too much for him to bear. “H-hi…”, you tried to start the conversation, but the shocked Hwiyoung just blinked his eyes still not believing it was really you. “Sunbae, won’t you invite this lady to your room?”, the other guy talked for him. “Huh? Ah, okay… Please, ju-just come in…”, Hwiyoung finally spoke, his low voice making you shiver.

You entered his studio and sat on a small couch on the corner. “Wanna something to drink, lady?”, the guy asked you. “Oh, no… thank you”, you answered and he left, now only you and a standing Hwiyoung in the room. You were feeling very uncomfortable as he didn’t talk anything. “So…”. “Is it really you, Y/N?”, Hwiyoung interrupted you. “Ye-yes, I guess…”, you tried to look fine with that awkward situation. “I knew you had an accident and lost your memory, but do you remember me?”. “I don’t”, you looked at him nervous. “So, why are you here? I know Taeyang would never bring you here for nothing”, Hwiyoung asked finally sitting down on his chair. “I’m… Well... I don’t know exactly what’s going on with me, but...I-I’ve been having flashbacks with you. I mean, I don’t even remember you or our past, but you insist on appear on my mind everytime I’m with Tae...”, you spoke hastily. “So…?”, Hwiyoung seemed to be lost at your words. “So, I’m here to try to figure out what happened. I mean with us, with our friendship. I think it could be the reason of these flashes”, you stared at him waiting for some answers, but nothing came. “I think I can’t help you with that, Y/N. We don’t have anything in common anymore. I’m glad you’re alive and fine, but you shouldn’t see me anymore. I’m sorry”.

His words hurt you, more than you can expect from a stranger, but you wouldn’t give up so easily. You took a deep breath and started to talk again after some minutes of heavy silence. “Why are you like this? First, you were my best friend and left me and know you don’t even want to tell me why you acted like this?”, you tried to say calmly, but your shaking voice betrayed you. “Past is past, Y/N. You must move on and not remember me”, Hwiyoung words were sharp, and you could see his fists clenching with anger. “Did you do it? Did you forget me?, you asked looking right into his eyes. He sustained the look for some seconds, still quiet, unable to move a single muscle. “No, I didn’t. I tried it in every ways possible, but I never could forget you”, he simply asked an eternity later, sadness waving through his body as the pain of the old memories washed over him. “So why?”, tears now gathering in your eyes. “There was no more space in your life for me, Y/N”, he tried to hold back his tears too. “Why don’t you tell me what really happened?”, you whispered facing your lap. “Do you mind if you talk somewhere else? I need some fresh air.”, Hwiyoung asked cautiously. “No, since you tell me everything I need to know about our past”, you answered and both of you left the building.

Taeyang was still waiting for you on the street. As soon as he saw you leaving, he came closer and you smiled shyly at him. “Tae, I’m sorry, but I need some time to talk to Hwiyoung. You can go home, I’ll get a taxi when we’re over”, you said reaching for his hands. “I can’t leave you alone with him, Y/N. Let me go with you or let’s go home now”, Taeyang talked serious. “Tae, please. I really need to do this. Now”, you looked deep in his eyes and he simply nodded, his hands moving to the sides of your head. “Call me if you need, okay?”, he pecked your lips and turned to his car, barely locking eyes with Hwiyoung on the way.

~~~~

You were in a small cozy café near his studio, the smell of coffee and cakes filling the whole place. “Do you know this place?”, Hwiyoung asked you after ordering two cappuccinos. “No. Is it a important place?”, you asked back. “Yeah, we used to come here after our classes and your official first date with Taeyang was here too. Didn’t he tell you this?", Hwi questioned curious. “Oh, really? He never mentioned this place. I wonder why…”, you looked at Hwiyoung who seemed to be a little awkward. “So… Were you and Taeyang friends too? I mean, before you left?”, you encouraged him to talk. “Actually, not. But he was your boyfriend, so he was always around”, he said with a bothered tone. “You never liked him, right?”, you wondered not exactly waiting for an answer. Hwiyoung kept quiet for a moment, only staring at you not knowing what to say. “You love him and that’s all the matter, Y/N”, he finally said and drank his coffee.

You both continued your conversation for some hours, Hwiyoung patiently trying to answer all your questions, feeling a little comfortable with you after so many years - he talked about your childhood and teenage, but you still couldn't remember a single thing.

It was already night when you entered your home only to take a quick shower and plopped down on your bed, immediately falling asleep. When you woke up next morning and walked into the kitchen to make your breakfast, there was a small note on your table: “I had to go home earlier. Call me when you got home. YTY”. Holy shit, Tae! You ran back to your bedroom and reached for your phone - 8 missed calls from your boyfriend. You called him, but he didn’t answer, then you sent a message.

Y/N: I’m so sorry, Tae! I got home late yesterday and just fell asleep. Please, don’t be mad at me TT

Some minutes later, Taeyang answers:

TY: It’s okay, bb. I’m relieved you’re safe. Have free time later? We could have dinner together…

Your heart ached a little with his message, but you had to be sincere.

Y/N: Sorry again, but I already have a commitment tonight x.x

TY: Hwiyoung again?

Y/N: Yes… I like to hear him to talk about our youth and I still have to find out why he left… Are you fine with this?

TY: Not really. But I trust you, so I think it’s okay…

Y/N: Thank you, Tae! Now, focus on your work, I don’t want to bother you.

TY: You don’t bother me at all. And meet me in the park when you come back tonight. I’ll wait for you there.

Y/N; Okay. See you later :*

~~~~

You did had dinner with Hwiyoung that night and spent hours talking and laughing with him. And Taeyang did waited for you in the park, but you didn’t meet him nor even called him. After two hours waiting, he decided to go home, but as soon as he got up, he saw you getting off a taxi with a drunk Hwiyoung holding onto your shoulders. It broke his heart and he couldn’t stand this view anymore, so he turned around and walked home into the cold night.

Early in the next morning, you woke up with someone knocking at your door. You were surprised when you opened it and saw Taeyang standing there, his features looking tired and upset. “Tae, what are you doing out there? You have the keys!”, you asked pulling him in. “Am I still free to simply enter your house?”, he answered not looking at you, a dark expression on his face. “What do you mean?”, as soon as you closed your mouth, Hwiyoung appears on your living room, still rubbing sleepness off his eyes, freezing when he sees you two at the door.

Your boyfriend stared at you and you could read anger in his look. “Tae, I can explain…”, you reached for his hands. “You don’t have to do it. I see you had fun last night. He got drunk and you brought him home. You lay him down on your guest room and went to your own bed. I know that you’d never cheat on me. I told you I trust you, Y/N”, he interrupted you moving out your grip on him. “So…?”, you cautiously asked. “A simple call… was everything I needed yesterday. But you didn’t care… No, you just don’t care anymore”, he said moving his gaze to Hwiyoung, his voice full with pain and bitterness. “I… I think it’s my time to go”, your friend spoke nervously. “Please, have a talk and make up your problems”, he grabbed his jacket and shoes and passed over Taeyang who was still standing next the door. “I‘m sorry”, Hwiyoung whispered as Taeyang only clenched his fists. “Bye, Y/N. Thanks for letting me sleep here”. You just nodded and he left.

You turned to your boyfriend again, his body trembling with anger. “Tae, let’s sit on the couch and talk, okay?”, you said only above a whisper. He walked with you, but sat on the opposite side of the couch. Taeyang stared at his lap, feeling unable to look at you when he was so angry. “Tae, I’m so sorry for letting you down”, you quietly said, but he didn’t respond. “Tae… Please, talk to me”, you whined trying to make him look at you, but he didn’t move a single muscle. You reached out for his hand to slightly touch it. “Say something”, you whispered as he sighed deeply and let go of your hand. “You don’t love me, right?”, he murmured.

He finally lift his head and looked at you, his eyes full of pain and sadness. You didn’t know what to say and froze while tears started to form in your eyes.”You don’t know it, do you? Don’t know what you feel for me, don’t know if you love me”, his words were like knives striking your heart. “Tae…”, you tried to talk, but he cut you off. “You don’t try to love me, you don’t even care about my feelings for you”, he yelled the last part. At this point, tears were falling freely down your face, but why couldn’t you say anything to deny his accusations? Why didn’t you know how you feel about him? Why was only Hwiyoung on your mind for the past few weeks? “Tae…”, you called out for him, “I… I think I just need sometime…”, you couldn’t say much more as Taeyang only stared at you. “I like you, I want you to be happy, but I just don’t know what to do now”, you cried out. “I’m sorry, Tae… I’m really sorry”, you couldn’t control your tears anymore and sobbed right in front of him. He just nodded painfully, got up off the couch and left, leaving you alone there with your crying.

You sank into misery and stayed at home all day, trying to control your suddenly sadness and confused feelings. Hwiyoung called you several times, but you just ignored him till you hear a slow knock at your door. It was him, a worried expression on his face. “Why didn’t you answer my calls and messages, Y/N?”, he asked entering your house. You didn’t respond, just staring at him as tears tried to back to your eyes. Seeing your messy state of mind, he put his hands on your shoulders and whispered a sweet “What happened? Where’s Taeyang?”. At the mention of his name, you cried again, holding onto him to not fall. “Y/N…”, he hugged you back. “It’s over, Hwi… I told him I need sometime, but he just left and I know he won’t come back”, you yelled in pain against his chest. “Why am I like this, Hwi? Why is it so painful?”, you desperately asked. “Because you love him, Y/N. You love him now as much as you loved him before. You just don’t know it yet.”, he calmly answered, running his fingers through your hair.

You broke the embrace and look at him. “How… how do you know that?”. “Because I was there before and saw how you were perfect together. He could be himself next to you and was able to do anything for you. I can say the same from you. You were always happy when you were together, even in the most difficult times. That’s love, Y/N”, he told you with a painful look. “Why do you always talk about him this way if you don’t even like him?”, you were confused. “Only him, Y/N. Because only him can take you away from me”, Hwiyoung couldn’t look into your eyes anymore. “What?”, your hands were shaking. “I love you, Y/N. Since we were teenagers. I love you. But I always knew your heart would never be mine. And when you found Taeyang, I immediately knew I had lost you forever. That’s right I left you”.

Hwiyoung’s eyes were glued at his lap, fists clenched, shaky voice. You stared at him in disbelief, mouth opened on a little “o”, teary eyes trying to control themselves as your head spun with the truth. “Why?”, you finally asked after some minutes of a deafening silence. “Look at me and say it, Hwiyoung! Why?”, your whole body trembling. He raised his head and talked “Your heart was his, Y/N. It was and it still is. Don’t you see that?”. Now, his eyes were fixed on yours, like looking into your soul. “I don’t... I can’t”, you didn’t even know what else you were talking. “Don’t you love him anymore?, he asked serious this time. “I don’t know, right? I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore!”, you screamed at the top of your lungs as tears fell down your face again. “If you don’t love him, then kiss me!”, he screamed back and you froze. “What?”, you nervously asked. “Kiss me. If you can’t, then you truly love him”, he replied to your shocked being. “Just try it. Only like this, you’ll know if you love him for real”, he assured you. You nodded unconsciously and cautiously came to Hwiyoung, your bodies getting closer, your faces just inches from each other, your eyes closing slightly. But, suddenly, you stopped, you couldn’t do that. You leaned back swiftly and Hwiyoung just nodded already expected it. You stared at the floor. “Hwiyoung, please… Please, leave me alone. This is so much for me”, you now whispered as he placed a little kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll text you later, okay? Call me anytime if you need”, you didn’t move or talk and he left. Once again that day, you were left alone with your own feelings.

~~~~

Two days had passed and you were going to meet Hwiyoung at a restaurant to clarify some things. “I’m sorry for yelling at you that day”, you sincerely say when you met him. “It’s okay. And I’m sorry for telling the truth like that and for asking for a kiss. I shouldn’t have done that”, he apologized. “No, it’s okay. I would have to know that somehow one day, so… And don’t worry about it”, you answered with a lost look. “Y/N”, Hwiyoung called you. “Did Taeyang contact you?”, he asked carefully, your lost look now sad. “No. He didn’t answer my texts or calls. I guess he really doesn’t want me anymore, right?”, you tried to force a smile, but only tears formed in your eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that, but you shouldn't give up yet. Give yourselves some time and I'm sure everything will be fine", Hwiyoung tried to comfort you and you just hummed in response, but your heart was swallowed in pain.

You both ate quietly and talked a little more about your past, when your phone buzzed - it was Chani calling you. "Hi, Chani!", you answered trying to look happy. "Hey, noonan! Can you come to the address I'm sending you right now?", he replied worried. "I'm with Hwiyoung now. What happened?". Chani sighed on the other side of the call. "That's right he's like this, then…", he mumbled more to himself that for you. "What's wrong, Chani?", you were getting nervous. "Taeyang hyung is drunk and is making a mess on the pub. He's crying and begging for you. Can you come get him or not? I'm losing my patience with him", he answered visibly annoyed. "Oh my God. Okay, I'm coming. Send me the address and wait till I get there", you rushily replied gathering your purse. "What happened?", Hwiyoung asked when he saw your despair. "Taeyang is drunk and needs me right now", your breathless said. "Okay, calm down. I'll take you there", you nodded and you both paid the bill and left the restaurant.

When you arrived at the pub, Chani had finally controlled Taeyang, who was (almost) sleeping on the counter. You approached him and softly touched his shoulder. "Tae, let's go home, huh? It's late and you need to rest", you whispered. "I'm not going anywhere without my girl", he messily murmured as tears were forming in the corner of your eyes. "Tae, it's me. Y/N. I'm your girl", you replied trying to hold back your crying. Taeyang opened his eyes and raised his heard when heard your name. "Y/N? Why are you here? You don't want me anymore. Leave!", he was almost screaming but his eyes were full of despair and tears. "I'm here to take you home, Tae. Please, let me take care of you tonight, huh?", you insisted, your tears starting to fall. Your boyfriend continued protesting and struggling to stay on his feet, but after some minutes you and Chani could finally support him on your shoulders and dragged him for his car. Meanwhile, Hwiyoung observed everything from a distance, going unnoticed when you left.

On the way home, Taeyang fell into a heavy sleep and you and Chani could talk. “Why did you left him? It’s not because of Hwiyoung, is it?”, Chani asked looking at you. “Not exactly. I needed sometime to think and understand what I feel for him. Hwiyoung only was there at the wrong time, I think”, you replied looking away from him. “And did you come to any conclusion now?”, he insisted. “Yes”, you simply answered and faced him. He could read the truth in your eyes and understood you. “I’m glad you already know it, ‘cuz I can’t stand him crying on my ears every time saying he loves you and wants you back”, Chani laughed a little. “Did he tell you that?”, you asked curious. “Of course, every single time since you broke up. He came to my place and cried all day long”, he continued. “Why?”, you wonder. “He loves you, noona. He really loves you. And I think you should tell him the same now that you know how you feel”, he looked at you again waiting for an answer, but you were lost in thoughts, your hands shanking and tears slipping through your face. Then, you stayed quiet till you got your home. Chani helped you to take Taeyang to your apartment and lay him on your bed. “Tell him, noona”, it was his last words before he left you alone with a drunk sleepy Taeyang.

You looked at your worn out boyfriend with guilty eyes, took off his jacket and lay beside him on bed. You snuggled to him and reached out his face with one of your hands, caressing his still wet cheeks and beautiful features. You could feel your heartbeat increased and all the love you’ve felt for him finally showed up, coaxing you to softly kiss his cheek and hold his hand on his chest. “I love you, Tae… I'm sorry for taking so long to realize this”, you whispered. You didn’t know if he heard you or not, but he squeezed your hand a little and let out a small sigh fall from his ips. You smiled a little and got even closer to his body, both of you calm heartbeats lulling you to sleep.

When Taeyang woke up in the morning, the space beside him on bed was empty, but he still could feel your warmth and your sweet scent on your sheets, pillows and on his shirt. A small note was on the blanket next to him and he read your little message: Meet me at the park tonight. I’ll be waiting for you. On the nightstand beside him, there was another note: I made you breakfast - it’s on the kitchen table. Don’t forget to eat it ^.^. He got up and walked to the kitchen where his favorite food was resting. On top of it, there was one more note: I have to resolve some things now. Hope to see you tonight.

~~~~

You met Hwiyoung at the park that afternoon, the same place where you had your first flashback. You both walked for a while before you stopped near the little lake. “It was here where I saw you for the first time after the accidente. I mean, on my mind”, you told him and sighed. “And now? Are you feeling something different?”, he asked looking at the water. “No. I just see two friends admiring a lake”, you simply said and he chuckled. “What?”, you asked. “Nothing… What’s the next place you want to take me?”, he inquired. Your next destination was the beach, where you saw him for the second time. “And here? Is something different?”, he wondered. “Yes”, you murmured. “My first kiss with Taeyang after the accident was here, but you appeared on my mind right after it”, you chuckled slightly. “Oh, no. I’m sorry”, he laughed too.

“Hwiyoung”, you called out for him. “Yeah?”. “I understand everything now. I mean, I still don’t know the reason of those flashbacks, but I know it brought you to me one more time, it gave us a second chance…”, you stopped and he hummed for you to continue. “... but also this time it’s Taeyang. As you said, I love him, I always loved him, and he’s my choice now just like he was then”, you stared at him with hopeful eyes as he stayed quiet. “But there’s a difference now”. He looked at you. “What?”. “Taeyang knows you like me, right? That’s right he doesn’t like you either”, you asked. “Yes, I told him before I left. But where’s the difference?”. “The difference is that I know that now too. And it means you don’t have to leave this time”. “I don’t understand, Y/N”. “We finally know what we feel for each other and it’s time for us to learn how to live with that and move on. We still can be friends now that we understand ourselves and we don’t have to say goodbye anymore. You’re my best friend, Hwi, and I love you. Please, stay”, you were looking deeply into his eyes as you can read a sparkling light shining on them. “I’m staying. I promise”, you both smile with his anwer and hugged to seal up your promise.

~~~~

Later that day, you were back to the park in front of your home, waiting for Taeyang this time. You hadn’t spoken all day and you were not sure if he would show up. Even so, there was you, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to come. One hour has passed. Two hours. And you were still there, already thinking he was mad and didn’t want to see you. You were walking through the park to keep warm when you saw a familiar figure next the lake, looking directly at you. You took some steps in his direction as he did the same in yours. “Tae! I thought you wouldn’t come”, you said when you were close enough from each other. “I wouldn't. But a certain threat told me you were here waiting for hours. And I had to see this beautiful image with my own eyes”, he told you and you both smiled. “I guess we have to thank this great threat, huh?”. “Nah…”, you laughed. “So, why do you bring me here?”, Taeyang asked. “I have something to tell you”, you said - and it took by surprise how confident you were. “Well, tell me then. I’m all ears”. “Can I hold your hands before I talked?”, your words were careful this time, but he nodded and you could feel his warm hands on your again.

You took a deep breath and start. “After all this time, I didn’t remember a single thing about my past, Tae, and it somehow scares me. But now, more than ever, I know I have you by my side. And I’m sorry for not realizing it before, but I do now. Yoo Taeyang, my Tae, I love you. I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll love you forever. So, please, I hope you still want me and still love me, ‘cuz I finally realize I can’t live without you anymore”, you told him with teary eyes and heart beating strong against your chest. Taeyang only stared at you for some moments, processing all what you had said, till he tightens his grasp on your hands and brings them to his chest, where his heart was pounding as hard as yours, and opens the brightest smile you’ve even seen. “I love you too, baby. Then, now and forever”, he finally spoke and pulled you closer to kiss you passionately.

After that, you both went home to cuddle together till sleep in each other’s arms.

~~~~

Y/N never recovered her memory, but she learned how to live the present without fearing the future. She and Hwiyoung remained friends. And Y/N and Taeyang built their family and stayed together till their last breath.

#kpop writings #sf9 scenarios #sf9 imagines #sf9 angst #sf9 fluff #sf9 hwiyoung #sf9 yoo taeyang

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fiftyshadesof-h · 4 years ago

Text

Just One Secret (spencer x reader)

Summary: When y/n walks in on an exchange between Hotch and Emily she is forced to keep a secret that eats away at her and causes problems in her personal life.

Warning- Vomit, Smut, language, mentions of abuse.

Masterlist

“Hey Hotch, I just had a quick question.” You said moving your hand to Hotch’s office door, turning and opening it before thinking to knock. You opened the door quickly, your eyes widening, the file in your hand falling to the floor, the papers inside the folder scattering across the floor as you gasped.

“Oh my god. Oh my-” You quickly said slamming the door shut again, scrambling on your hands and knees to pick up the papers on the floor. Your breathing picks up as you hear muffled noise from inside the office.

Holy shit. That did not just happen. You couldn’t believe what you had just seen.

You looked up from your lowered position on the floor at the person who just opened the door. “Can you let me explain, please come in.” You shook your head rapidly. Standing up, you gently shoved the file into his chest, his hands struggling to grab the papers. You quickly turned around and headed towards the bathroom in a slow sprint.

You swung the bathroom door open, the air smacking you in the face before you turned back around to lock the door.

You dropped to the floor in front of the toilet,the impact of your drop on the cold tile sending a shock wave through your body ringing out of your ears, sending a bad feeling through your body. That feeling transformed into a burning that coats your throat. Your whole body reacted, your stomach tightening and relaxing as you let go of the searing pain from inside your body.

Secrets made you sick. Physically and mentally sick. You could keep a secret, but it would slowly and painfully eat away at you, you knew it would, that’s how it always happened.

You instantaneously rose to your feet, putting your hand up against the wall to help support the weight of your body. You moved your hands through your hair leaving the tips of your fingers in your scalp scratching it in a hectic matter.

What the fuck! I just saw my boss and… and Emily Prentiss. She was my friend right? One of my bestfriends she couldn’t mention that she was fucking the boss? Oh god.

So many thoughts were going through your head about this situation. You turned around letting out a huff of air as you turned around to face yourself in the mirror. Your clammy hands guide themselves up to the sink as you leaned forward towards the mirror. You cocked your head to the side looking attentively at your disheveled appearance. You looked down at your appearance in the mirror noticing one of your bottoms popped open, the button probably detaching itself when you were hurling into the porcelain toilet. Your hair is wild and unruly from your aggressive hand movements.

You brought your eyes back up to the eyes in your mirrored reflection thinking back to what you had just witnessed.

“Just like that.” Hotch said to Emily, his voice deeper and more demanding than normal. Hotch and Emily bent over the edge of his desk, the pair facing the wall away from the door. Hotch had his leg propped up, probably for better access. His movements are fast but… effective. You were surprised the whole building couldn’t hear Emily. His face turned towards you when you opened the door, his leg flying down quickly to the floor. He fumbled with his- himself quickly fastening his belt. Emily sat up and turned towards you, her eyes wide with surprise. She opened her mouth to start talking but you slammed the door immediately.

You didn’t think you saw that much, but now that you were thinking about it how long were you standing there?

“You in there?” You heard a very muffled Prentiss say through the bathroom door. You dropped your face into the palms of your hands groaning, you didn’t think you were quite ready to face them yet, or face them ever, ever again.

You stalked up to the door leaning in so she could hear you through the door. “Yeah, Em, just give me a minute.” You could hear the eye roll that just came off of her through the door. Something about that prompted you to quickly swing the door open. Your hand moving to rest gently on your hip, a frown occupying your face.

“Y/n, please just let me,” She took in a deep breath, her words wavering in the back of her throat like she was trying not to cry. “I need to explain.”

“I won’t say anything. I promise. Your secrets are safe with me, now let's not talk about this at work or better yet not talk about it at all.” You said cutting her off in a harsh tone. You moved forward trying to get out of the bathroom she had just cornered you in, but Emily didn’t move in fact she stood her ground giving you a modest smile. You jerked your head towards the rest of the team which had now shifted their attention towards the two females talking abnormally loud by the bathroom.

“It’s just one secret.”

She finally gave you enough passage to pass around her. You closed your eyes and rolled them behind your lids. You could not believe you had just seen that. Cursing yourself for not just asking the all knowing genius your question.

Once you got away from her you quickly found yourself in the round-table room stealing a spot next to Spencer Reid. Your hands drummed on the arm of your cool leather chair, Spencers’ attention was drawn to the increasing volume of your fidgeting.

He placed his hand right over yours, his hand curving over you fingers in a hold. He did that everytime he saw you overwhelmed and distressed. Whether it was in reassuring words, a hand on the knee to stop it from bouncing up and down, or this. You had to say that the hand-holding technique was your favorite so far, he couldn’t agree with you more.

Yours and Spencers relationship was rare, you couldn’t define it. What exactly the two of you were.

Friends, more than friends?

You wouldn't mind if Spencer wanted more.

You always thought back to the first time you walked into the room. Spencers' big, golden, amber eyes landing right on your own eyes.

“Hi, Nice to meet you. I'm y/n y/l/n.” A smile lit up across your face, parallel to the one on the man across from you. You reached your hand out to shake his. The man across from you hesitated, his eyes squinting and his eyebrows moving to the center of his face, scrunched together for a short second before his face returned to the original smile wiped across it.

“Oh baby, he’s not gon-” A buff man said from across the room but immediately stopped talking when the brown haired, beautiful, boy across from you reached out and shook your hand back.

A small laugh left your lips when he continued to look at you instead of introducing himself.

“This is usually the part where you tell me your name...” You said, the smile on your face never fluctuating. “Oh, yes of course, I’m uh Dr.Spencer Reid. You don’t have to call me Doctor just Spencer, or- or Reid is perfect with me. It’s great really.”

He gave you this exhilarating feeling inside your soul from the time you had first met him.

And he still gave you that feeling, I mean you got butterflies in your stomach everytime he walked in a room. It had been months and neither of us had said anything regarding the obvious feelings we have for each other yet. You knew you wanted to do it, and you knew you needed to do it soon.

You didn’t want to waste the rest of my life wondering what you could’ve had with Reid, you wanted to experience life with him.

Spencers’ thumb was rubbing back and forth across the back of your hand, the warmth of his skin sending you wanting for more. You turned around so you were completely facing Spencer, an amused look lighting up your face. It didn’t matter what emotion you were overwhelmed with, Spencer's face always made you feel better.

“Do you wanna come over tonight? Order in dinner or something…” You said questioning him. Tonight would be the night you told Spencer how you felt. Tonight would either break your heart or make it swell ten times bigger.

“Uh, uh.” Derek said tutting and swatting his finger back and forth. “It’s team dinner tonight, remember missy. You’re not getting out of it again.”

You groaned, it’s not that you didn’t like being with the team you just really wanted to spend tonight with Reid.

“How could I, you won’t let me forget Derek.” You sent the words out with a bitter twang on purpose. A laugh escaped from his throat as he turned back towards Penelope to finish talking.

“I uh- can’t come tonight.” Emily said speaking from behind you. You spun in your chair to look at her. Prentiss became uneasy when your eyes locked with hers.

Oh really? Are you gonna go screw your superior tonight or what? You thought, your eyes narrowing in Emilys’ direction.

“I’m also gonna have to skip out, I have lots of paperwork to do.”

Of Fucking Course he has work to do tonight. You thought.

You scoffed, the rest of the team looked over at your reaction.

Your mouth opened but before any words could flow out Emily spoke up, “Remember I told you about that thing tonight?” She said speaking directly to me.

“Yep. She told me I remember.” Just one secret she said.

---

“Hi.” You said with a beaming smile on your face after you opened the door to a very happy Spencer.

You invited Spencer over to your place after dinner with the team because you couldn’t hold this off any longer.

He had his hands pockets, his brown hair tousled on his head.

“Hello.” He said back. You moved back so Spencer could step through the threshold of your apartment.

You shut the door and he jumped at the noise. “Relax Spence, i’m not trying to kill you.”

He let out a breathy laugh, directing himself to the couch. As he sat his suit jacket ruffled, he took it off and slung it off the back of your couch. You watched as he delicately rolled the sleeves of his light purple button-up leaving his forearms exposed to the light.

Spencer let out a laugh that brought a rosey sheen of embarrassment to the apples of your cheeks. Your body folded in on yourself at the realization that he had just caught you staring at him.

“You gonna come sit by me or keep staring?” He said, raising one eyebrow up, a smirk on his face.

You walked over to him on the couch, your shin hitting the cushion before you folded it under the rest of your body to sit down. Spencer lifted his arm up to go behind your head as he motioned for you to lay down on his chest.

You leaned against him, his breathing picking up pace as you moved your hand up to his chest right next to your cheek.

“Spencer?” You said peering up to meet his gaze that was already on you. ‘Hmm’ he hummed the vibration in his chest making your body move gently.

“I have to tell you something. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.” You said, your gaze never wavering from his.

“Can I do something first?” Spencer said shifting his body, he lifted your head off of his body positioning you infront of him, you crossed your legs, letting your hands fall at the point where your ankles crossed. Spencer moved to sit directly in front of you in the same cross-legged position.

His right hand moved up to cup your cheek, the action catching you by surprise. He started to swipe the pad of his thumb against your skin. His eyes danced between your eyes and lips.

You knew what he was about to do and it scared you so bad. He must have felt the hesitation in your body because he waited for the timid nod you gave him before he leaned forward.

His whole body moving into yours as your lips met. It’s like the spark the two of you had felt your whole relationship were bursting into a plethora of fireworks before your eyes.

His hand moved under your thigh to lift you up onto his lap. You could feel him straighten his legs underneath your body, the hand on your thigh moved up to grasp your ass, the feeling making a gasp leave your mouth.

A laugh left his lips rolling onto your own. You smiled against him before you moved your hand behind his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss, threatening to move your hand up to his messy hair and give it a tug.

When you finally detached your lips from his own you looked at his face and appreciated all of his delicate features. The way his nose crinkled when he laughed just then at the goofy smile on your face made the butterflies in your stomach return.

You traced your thumb along his face, over his nose, over his cupid's bow on his pink and swollen lips, and then when you reached his bottom lip you let your thumb linger there for a moment.

“I’m so glad you did that.” You breathed out. Spencer's goofy smile returned on his face when he leaned forward and gave you a shorter peck on the lips, his hands moving further up your body till they wrapped around your waist.

“Ugh fuck!” You said starting to pull away from Spencers’ body when your phone started loudly ringing from the table beside you.

He tightened his grip around your body not wanting to let you go. “Nooo.” He whined, dragging out the word with a pout on his face. He looked so adorable you couldn’t help but give him another beck on the lips before you shook your head telling him you had to get the call.

He gave you an exaggerated ‘hmph’ before he finally let you climb off of his lap.

Incoming call: Emily Prentiss

You groaned as you read the name that lit up your phone screen.

“I’m- I uh gotta take this Spence. I’ll be right back I promise.” You said, giving him a small smile.

You slid the accept call button as you trudged to the other end of Spencers’ apartment so he couldn’t hear what you were about to say.

“What Emily?” You hissed into the phone.

“I had to tell you why. I need to explain it.” Emily said sniffling on the other end of the phone.

“Emily, I already told you, I’ll keep the secret. Just one secret right?” Just one secret she said.

“This isn’t just some fling y/n I promise you that.” She was struggling to spit the words out as she slowed her speech.

“Oh really? Then why were you fucking your boss? I saw it all! I saw way too much! I don’t think I can ever, ever unsee that. Not that you looked bad but I just- I didn’t need to see that.” You said at a hushed volume. You looked over at Spencer who was now sitting with his legs crossed as he skimmed through a book delicately.

You may have been mad at Emily but you weren’t going to insult her.

She let out a laugh on the other end before she silenced on the other end again. “I love him y/n. I-i love him so much.” She struggled to finish the words when her throat cracked.

“We love each other, we’ve been together for a while. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you guys he- he wanted me to keep a secret for the job's sake.”

She took a deep inhale, her voice wavering on the other side as she choked out the next words. “I don’t know what’d I’d do without him y/n he means everything to me.”

You nodded, knowing she couldn’t see you. You had no right to judge her. You knew what love could do to someone how crazy it could make you, the bad decisions it could cause.

“So please just know if I am so sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Oh.” Was all you could say. All you could think of. Your own eyes stung with tears listening to her confession of love.

“Please say something else.” She begged.

“I understand Emily, I know what love can do to a person. It doesn’t mean I like this, the lying.” You said back to her.

“I know, I hate it too. We are gonna tell everyone I promise.”

“I’ve uh- gotta go, I hope you figure this all out.” You said hanging up the phone before she could say anything else.

“What was that about?” Spencer inquired as you walked back towards the couch. He leaned forward as he sat the book he was reading back on the table.

“Oh, just family stuff.” You said shrugging off your question.

Spencer was now sitting in a normal upright position, you gently climbed on top of him moving your legs so they were on either side of his thighs. You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck before you let out a breath.

“You okay?” He said, his voice quieter than before. You could feel the words roll off his lips because of the proximity to your ear.

“I am now.” You said lifting your head up. You gave him a smile before moving in to give him another peck on the lips.

You nudge your nose against Spencers’ jaw as you planted another kiss to the slowly reddening skin of his neck. He let out a nervous laugh as you continued to shower his skin with kisses. You were giving him all the touches you never got to before.

“Hey y/n, there’s something else I've been dying to do.” You lifted your head away from his neck as a bright smile lit up across your face.

“Oh yeah?” The words left your lips, a smile going onto Reids’ face as he chuckled.

He cocked his head to the side with a smirk on his face. You gave him a fast peck on the lips in agreement to what he was suggesting. He lifted you up quickly, your legs still wrapped around his center as he carried you off, a giggle leaving your lips at his urgent walk towards your room.

You peeked your head up from his neck at the sound of him shutting the door, before you could prepare yourself Spencer was throwing you down on the bed and quickly climbing over you.

Spencer kissed you like he was famished, famished from your touch, from holding back so long.

You watched Spencer in amusement as you propped your body up in your elbows. Your smile faltered when you realized Spencer was backing away and back to standing on the floor beside the bed.

“Oh, don’t worry darling. I’m not done yet.” As quick as the words left his soft (now swollen) lips he was pulling you roughly towards the edge of the bed, your legs spread on either side of his body.

He stayed standing in between your legs for a moment admiring your beauty.

“Oh come on Spence.” You whined at him just wanting to be touched already.

“Stop being a needy one, can’t I just look how beautiful you are?” His response shut you up immediately, you could never take a compliment but coming from Spencer you actually believed it.

“I mean you could or you could touch me.” You said making the words go extra slow as you dragged your hand slowly up your body.

You grabbed at the hem of your shirt, your body begging to be freed.

You lifted your body up on your own to lift the shirt up off your head, your chest moving as you flopped back down on the bed, hair disheveled below you, a goofy grin on your face.

“I think… I like your idea better.” Spencer said shaking his head with a smirk.

You watched as his hand moved its way up your body, slow and teasing movements. He grabbed the hem of your shorts like someone else was about to come take them from his grasp. He quickly pulled them down your legs, followed by your underwear, your expensive black lace underwear that Spencer just ripped from your body.

At the sound of the fabric shrieking you reacted quickly. “Fuck Reid! Those were expensive!”

He didn’t care in fact he just chuckled with that stupid grin on his face. He lowered himself over your center.

“I’ll make it up to you baby.” He said just before he moved his lips to kiss your inner thigh, a light suction of his lips following after.

The sensation caused you to arch your back slightly. “I like when you call me that.” You said, your breathing staggered as Spencer continued to place kisses all over your body. “baby.”

“I want you Spencer. Now.” You said quickly before you could think. A sudden dominance taking over your body. You couldn’t wait any longer.

“Your wish I my command,”

---

Days later you were still thinking about the night, about Spencer’s lips on your body, the way it felt and the way he had you screaming his name all night, not caring about the other people that may be in the building.

You hadn’t realized it till recently but You and Spencer had been anticipating that moment for a long, long time.

You had both decided that the time spent apart was worth it.

You pulled yourself out of that dream of an evening and brought yourself back to the nightmare you were currently sorting through.

“It’s terrible you know,” You said, looking up towards Reid who was standing right next to you looking through the piles of notebooks and junk in the warehouse you were searching.

“These kids, these adults, were made out to be… evil.”

You and The Team were on a case hunting an unsub that had been kidnapping women and doing terrible, terrible things to them. His name was Andrew Carter, he had been recently released from a psychiatric prison after two petty assault charges… against women.

It’s a wonder people with those kinds of records can get released at all.

We had checked multiple locations before closing in on a warehouse that Carter spent most of his childhood in after hiding from his abusive grandmother, Angelica Carter.

His grandmother got custody of him after both of his, seemingly, loving parents died when he was young.

The couple got in a car crash with little Andrew in the back, they died right in front of him. You couldn’t imagine what kind of trauma that could cause an impressionable boy.

The whole time Gracia went over the suspicious e.r. visits people ignored in Andrews past, you could never wrap your head around why people could be so cruel to children or anyone. It just broke your heart, especially because you were so happy just a few days ago laying in bed with Spencer.

“Yeah…” Spencer replied to you, a somber look on his face. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say but he stayed quiet instead, flipping through the journals on the table looking for clues as to where Carter could be hiding.

The team had split up to search the warehouse, Prentiss and Hotch went to the opposite end of the building than the rest of the team. You were the first to break out in a run towards the gunshots, the rest of the team following closely behind you.

As you cornered the threshold you saw hotch huddled on the floor over Emily, who’s long black hair was a mess on the floor, blood seeping out from beneath her.

“oh my god.” You breathed out, unable to gage a real reaction.

“Emily, baby are you okay?” Hotch asked, tears clouding his eyes. Your eyes widened at the words baby, I don’t think Hotch realizes what he’s said until Morgan runs into the run falling to his knees beside Prentiss.

“Emily, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry for this.” Derek said, a bewildered expression taking over his face. His dark eyebrows were scrunched up together.

You ran up to her just after Morgan landed there a hand immediately moving to her back.

“Fuck!” Emily screamed suddenly, everyone startled by the sudden noise.

“You shot me in my fucking foot Morgan! What the hell?!” You and hotch both let out the same relieved inhale. So Prentiss wasn’t about to die in front of you; she just got shot by Morgan’s “Shit aim.” You decided to stay not caring whether it was in your head or not.

Morgan moved away from Prentiss quickly, the tears in his eyes fading as his demeanor changed from somber to confident.

“He was getting away. I tried to shoot… the Unsub and, emilygotintheway” Derek says, speeding through the words as he blames Emily for his own mistake.

Your eyes didn’t leave Hotch and Emily the whole time Derek raised his voice explaining the situation. Hotch shifted so that he was now helping Emily hold her bleeding foot. He leaned forward and gave her a big, definitely noticeable kiss on the lips.

“Um where… might… is there a medic… Hey! you!” Your voice raised as you tried to draw the attention away from the (very cute) couple on the floor. “Where’s the medic ?” You yelled at a random officer he just shrugged his shoulders and you were tempted to flip him off.

Before you got the chance Spencer’s arm was wrapped around your waist, his hands on your skin immediately calming you.

It’s likeyour body involuntarily leaned against Reid’s body a smile starting to appear on your face.

“Oh come on! Everyone is shacking it up except me?” You let out a loud snort. The loud noise breaking through the silence you were going to be embarrassed but instead the whole lot of you broke out into a fit of laughter, it didn’t stop until Emily was being rolled into an ambulance to be treated for her foot.

Standing outside the building with Spencer watching the ambulance filled with Hotch, Emily, and a disgruntled Derek roll away you had a feeling of success brewing in your stomach.

You turned to face Spencer, his hands immediately found their way loosely held together behind you back, holding your bodies close to each other. The butterflies in your stomach returned when you saw the look of pure admiration on his beautiful face.

“You’re so beautiful Spencer.”

“Hey, that’s my line.” He said, letting out a laugh before he leaned down to kiss you. You met him half way from your tippy toes that you were currently standing on.

“Give me another kiss.” Spencer demanded.

You just walked closer to his chest, laying against it, Your other hand moved under his coat and on his back rubbing your hand along his warm body.

“Iwannagohomeafuckyou. likealot.” You murmured softly against his skin on purpose so he wouldn’t hear you.

A soft kiss was planted to the top of your head before the two of you headed home.

As soon as Spencer and you were far away from listening ears walking to your car Spencer’s hand connected with your ass in a playful slap, causing an unexpected yelp to leave your mouth.

Your hands immediately flew up to cover your mouth as you laughed underneath them.

“I heard exactly what you said. Dirty girl.”

A/N-thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed :) I was originally going to make this have an unhappy happy ending but I decided against it!

#criminalmminds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminalmindsfanfic #hotchniss #aaronhotchner #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #smut

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flashbang-througthe-door · 3 years ago

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This maybe long so I will break it up with Jodie Dallas gifs

Of course this is just my opinion also spoilers

Okay, okay, I liked Vanguard. In my opinion it was a good game, not better then WW2 or BOCW but it was a humdinger of a game. I liked changing characters and learning their story(I still don't like Wade) it was very cool and I was happy I didn't have to collect 33 MEMENTOS AND BREACH A SEAWALL IN UNDER TWO MINUTES LIKE SOME GAME!! Yes I'm still salty but this is Vanguard's time under my microscope. My favorite character is Richard fucking Webb, and I know your looking at me in my bitch ass stupid face saying “But Nov you said no more favorites because Lazar dies especially because Park has an operator and he doesn't„ and to that I say...point taken, I didn't want a favorite but Webb looked me in my stupid face and said “Funny time to take a kip. I was just waiting for some mad bastard to come and save the day„ actually I was sold on his character the first second I saw his assssssists. Side note there is a trophy in this game for getting hit by a tank AND I DONT HAVE IT. Anyway back to what I was saying, I love my Webby with all my heart but I was kinda sad we didn't play as him, and I'm kinda pissed KINDA PISSED THAT THEY KILLED HIM IS SUCH A FAST, RIP THE BAND-AID OFF KINDA WAY...kinda made less inclined to cry because it's a blink and you miss moment. I was still sad that he died...but it was less emotional, when Hudson died it was 3 am and I screamed louder than I should have...mom came out and thought I was the one getting murder, or like when Turner die I cried my eyes out, or when GAZ DIED(I need a second, it still gets me). Back to Vanguard, in my opinion Webb should have either died when Novak did or died trying to escape. Hear me out, If he had died instead of Novak at the beginning, one Arthur would have more anger and that would maybe make him reckless, two Novak I don't know about you but I WISH we got to know more about Novak love that blonde bitch (he's blonde in the comic and Lucas has a five head) thirdly I feel like it wouldn't have MADE ME WORRY SO MUCH WHEN HE GET HURT REALLY BAD IN THE ARTHUR FLASHBACK. Now if Webb died while they were escaping I feel like it would have a bigger impact, one they couldn't spend a lot of time so I'm thinking slowly bleeding out or something, two as Webb is dying and their going after Friesinger Arthur is telling Webb he'll be fine, thirdly Webb is being helped to the plane by Wade he dies due to blood loss, forth and final Kingsley walks in and says “We did„ he looks at Webb and realizes that Webb is gone enter crying and then Lucas find Operation Phoenix or whatever the hell we were looking for. Game over I turn into the crying on the floor meme.

This is probably the face your making right now and I don't blame you, but let's wattle into zombies for now. I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA OF WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN ZOMBIES. Of what I understand, there is Gods or Demons(don't remember what their called but I think it's demons), Von List a German....who exists and is the bad guy(has one memorable line and doesn't say it that much anymore) and finally a scientist named Kraft(an old man but pretty nice). Now I think leveling up your operators is a cool thing(I got Francis to level twenty and that's the highest level, guns go up seventy) you get skins, emblems, calling cards and other things. I like harvest and blitz I believe it's called. Harvest is were you collect five stone tables drop them off at an obelisk looking thing you do this three times. Blitz takes you to a place and you just have to live for a certain amount of time. The perks are okay, you have to level them up everytime you play unlike Cold war, there is only one map which is a little annoying but I hope that changes. The one thing that really bothers me....the big zombie asshole with a FUCKING MINI GUN....that's the only thing that made me mad. Call of duty's zombies shouldn't have zombies with guns, but that's just my OPINION.

It's 2:10 am, anyway back to Vanguard, Webb perfect, Kingsley amazing, Petrova break my neck, Novak let me protect you, Lucas love you too, Dez sexy bitch, Bluely let me love you, Wade....leave go away. In this part I will talk about my hate for Wade Jackson, now believe me I tried to like that cocky asshole but I just couldn't. I don't know if its his personality, his stupidity or his need to be the best. I'm assuming it's a mixture of all of those things because I just can't stand him, he eats at my fucking soul. Like I got an ego, boy I do have one but Wade is something else. I fucking hate Wade, almost to my point of hating a certain singer, I don't know know why but I have this burning hate for Stevie Nicks. Holy shit Wade is my Stevie Nicks of call of duty. I just don't like him.

Now your probably thinking “What else is he going to complain about?„ well my dudes, dears and weirds, my last complaint is...why didn't we get a character like Bell again? Granted Bell was a special case, but what I mean is being able to make are own character, shit I'd just be happy to have my own character take Novak's spot but hey shit happens.

New modern warfare game November this year, get ready for that shit.

#nov rants #= Nov babbling for too long #i got tired at the end

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hiro-gari · 4 years ago

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This is just my usual random thought:

We already had many headcanons of Garou as hero partner for Badd, or as a villain, or sometimes as a vigilante. But what if Garou never becomes any of that and just stay as a civillian only?

So I was thinking the possibility of Garou staying as a civillian is where Garou and Badd had met back then in their childhood era. Like, if kid Badd comes to protect kid Garou from the bullies and giving kid Garou a little hopes that not all of the "heroes" are bad because Badd is always be there for him.

Of course Garou still not convinced enough to completely changed his mind about heroes in general, but at least he would let Badd pursuing a career as professional hero. Despite Badd getting involved into something that Garou hated all along, he could never hate Badd himself. Because Badd is his bestfriend and such great example of "ideal hero", Garou has good faith on him to do the right job.

Now I was thinking since his intention to be a monster was lessened thanks to Badd's influence, Garou would be focusing on becomes the greatest martial artist since he loves the sport so much and it's really good practice to protect himself or people from any bullies. Badd was 100% encouraged him about that, he would definitely comes to visit Garou on Bang's dojo during his training days or even on national tournaments whenever Badd was not on-duty to support Garou.

If Garou finally mastered his martial art skill, Bang would inherit his dojo and hand over his mentorship rights to Garou. At that time, Badd also had just promoted as one of S-Class Heroes in Hero Association. Both Garou and Badd pursuing their own career, with Garou as martial artist master/teacher and Badd as S-Class hero. Yet both of them still maintaining their friendship vl(and mutual pinings, ofc) very well.

One thing Garou disliked about Badd being a hero, was the fact that Hero Association always put him into a dangerous mission with little to no regard about his safety guarantee. Not to mention Badd is quite a reckless person who wont get back until he's done with his duty. Being selfless is a good trait for sure, but not when the situation could endanger himself.

That's why Garou always almost getting heart attack everytime he found out Badd got heavily injured after missions, or worst, ended up being hospitalized. He worried so much for his dearly bestfriend (and beloved crush), that it made Garou swore to strengthened himself so he can protect Badd when the mission gone awry.

Now imagine people in the city witnessed the S-Class Hero Metal Bat was often saved or assisted by this random strong civillian. Not the fellow registrated heroes, but THIS powerful handsome white-haired martial artist who was suddenly popped in into the battlefield out of nowhere and helping the delinquent hero. Then after all has finished, they're always bickering like old married couple about why the hero was so goddamned reckless or why did the martial artist intervened his job in random moment.

Sometimes people saw the martial artist would immediately left before Metal Bat scolding him, or the martial artist would bridal-carried the unconscious injured Metal Bat and running towards nearby hospital for getting immeadiate help.

Later on, Badd was desperately asking Garou, why didn't he becomes a hero when all the things he has done is to help people, since Garou has real good potential as professional hero. Garou said he was still disliking the heroes system, thus he would never comes for Hero Association to offer himself as their members. He hates them and doesn't need their approval or their money. Garou doesn't care about it all.

It doesn't matter if he wasn't registrated as official hero members at all, as long as he still can help and save Badd or weak people in need, it's totally alright for Garou. Because Badd is one of few people he really cares about, and Badd is very important to Garou because Garou loves him so much.

As soon as he confessed his feeling, Garou hugged his beloved childhood hero tightly, whispering how much Badd means to him in his life and how deep he has fallen in love with Badd. That he was afraid of losing Badd one day because his recklessness or some accident caused by HA's negligence, that he truly cares for Badd and his well-beings and he will absolutely makes sure to keep Badd safe no matter what.

The sudden love confession from Garou surprised Badd, yet he feels so happy that his bestfriend actually also has the same feeling as him after these years. With sincere bright smile, Badd thanking Garou for everything he has done for him and said that Garou is his "Hero", then he holds the wolfboy's face with so much tenderness before kissing Garou softly on his lips.

That was the moment Garou nearly crying in happiness, because he finally have someone saying that he deserved to be called as a Hero, and he has someone who loves him back..

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--- THE END ----

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Notes:

This was just a short self-indulgent writing because I wanted to have AU headcanon where Garou stays as a normal civillian instead of pursuing his need to become a monster because of Badd's influence to him as childhood hero.

So here we are: Childhood Frienda S-Class Hero Badd & Civillian Martial Artist Garou AU! 👏😎

I think the idea of Garou popped in out of nowhere and swooped in to help Badd in the middle of mission kinda amused me 😆

Also, please think about this: a young Martial Artist Master prodigy Garou teaching kids (including Tareo!) in Bang's dojo as main job, and assisting Badd in dangerous mission as side job (he still wont register as pro-hero, though) 👀👀✨

Any other thought about this headcanon? If there's any, it's okay to tell me 😳💦👉👈

That's all I can write for today!

I don't know if there's still people who wants to read my writings, but I really appreciate anyone who still willing read this dumbass random nonsense 😚🙏💖

I'll try to keep going on making crumbs of Batarou contents for the fandom! 💪😤👍✨ Wish me luck I wont get burnout since lately I got distracted by other fandom (still haven't make any content yet for it but I'm getting the hype 😆🎉)

Thank you so much for always listening and reading my silly headcanons, hope you guys have a nice day~ 😘❤💜💙💚💛💖💝🌸🌻💐

-Little1993lamb-

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~Lilia:

DO U REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS

*whispers* G-Garou Sensei 😩👌✨ I’ve got goosebumps rn

Imagine Badd calling him that teasingly or when Garou’s giving him an earful for being so reckless😜 “Whatever you say Garou Sensei” oml he’d get so flustered about it!!

This idea is so sweet though 🥺 instead of becoming a hardened criminal he’s just the slightly aloof martial arts guy who has a soft spot for kids and one particular hero 😌 I love it!! 💕 And ofc I’ve always thought he’d make a great teacher, especially for kids who were bullied like him, or are weak and insecure for whatever reason. He’d never turn anyone away, especially because he remembers what an impact meeting someone like Badd (a friend to stick up for him and encourage him) had on him as a kid 💖

TYSM ANON!! 💕😘 Always great to hear from you! Dw I fully support you no matter what fandom you’re in, if you’re hype about something you should go for it!! I’ll still be in this fandom chillin whenever you wanna come talk about stuff 😆 Though I rlly hope you don’t get burned out from it 😖 Wishing you the best of luck and a great day!! 💗✨😚

#much love anon 💕#tysm #batarou #garou #metal bat #opm #au #emoji anon #submission

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