#that maybe won't ever get finished
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my current wip is literally 7000 words of aizawa & midoriya sitting in various rooms talking and man. this is truly my wheelhouse. i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to
#talking#bnha posting#i think it'll be...10k maybe 12 once it's done#other active wip is just aizawa and mic sitting in a room talking#and then the even sadder sequel to ten of swords that literally no one asked for#that maybe won't ever get finished#rrgg talking about wips is so much more fun than. doing them. turning my little dialogue-only outlines into real coherent scenes. heinous
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Okay to reblog to help sample size!
#erurandomness#erubabbles#fanfiction#fanfic#I have a few longfics I've come to realize I'll probably never finish#but they have like 50k words and maybe people would enjoy the beginning?#and i *want* to finish them. I just don't know if I'll ever get that spark back that'll let me finish. it's frustrating#my perfectionism has kind of paralyzed me and a mix of that and drifting fandoms has me wondering#would people like it if i shared them so they could experience what's been written? or is it not worth it if they won't be updated?#fic tag
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Stargate SG-1 is so good. I love it so much 🥺
#might spam you over the week. i think i'll use it to get a distance from snw for a while#i mean i'll watch the kirk-uhura episode on friday but maybe kirk will disappoint me and since the episode after is the xover#i might just... wait until the season is finished or something#(i mean i don't think kirk will disappoint me since the bits in the trailers sounded good... but you never know lol)#it's not that season 2 is bad but i want less spock and i don't think that's happening any time soon#hopefully he won't really have a big role in uhura's episode but then again they might finally introduce him and uhura and the lute who even#knows#which is obviously what i have wanted ever since the announcement but me and spock have a complicated relationship atm lol#i should forget about spock#i hope the transporter scene with kirk and la'an is happening#i hope that kirk's smile when he beams aboard is aimed at la'an#even if that was the only scene they'd share in that episode i'd be content#but the trailer could lie to me#even though so far the trailers actually delivered what was 'promised'#in s1 they felt more misleading but this time what i thought was happening in the trailers happened in the show so far#anyway#stargate is good :D#leni's nonsense
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GUYS. GUYS GUESS WHO'S FINALLY GONNA BE SEEING THE ABCK 5O TUE FUTURE MUSICAL IN JANURAYR
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#MY PARENTS AND I ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE MY 21ST#I'M SCREAMINGGG I'VE BEEN VIBRATING EVER SINCE MY MOM SAID YES A FEW HOURS BACK#AND WE'RE GONNA GET ORCHESTRA PIT SEATS TOO??!??!?!?!?!?!#SHJFKJWJSJCJJEIWIDHCBJWUDJWODBJCJEIEJFNG#we're gonna be seeing the touring one and not the broadway one#so we sadly won't get to bear witness to the absolute icon that is roger bart :/#BUT STILL#IT'S GONNA BE SO INSANE#(and maybe someday we'll get to see the broadway performance with roger cause that'd be the DREAM dude)#I'M SERIOUSLY . OVWR THE MOON RIGHT NOW#HAVE BEEN FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS#I'M GETTING THE TICKETS AFTER I FINISH EATING IM SO HYPED#GUYS. I'M FINALLY GONNA SEE IT#AFTER ALL THIS TIME#WOOHOOOOOOKGJFJJF!!!!!!!*&!^!%#RAAAAARRRGHHHGGHGG 💥💥💥💥💥#I'M GOING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW.#EXPECT ME TO BE VERY NOT NORMAL ABOUT BTTF IN THE COMING DAYS ESPECIALLY#sam says things#back to the future the musical#bttf the musical#back to the future#bttf
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What if Chay moves on from Kim and starts bringing over people from clubs and college parties to the minor family house ? He picks them carefully , he now knows how to , they're usually vaguely aware of who he is. They also know enough to not question the security surrounding him and his "house". He's learnt to protect himself from people who get close only with their selfish ulterior motives.
He's only young and in college once. He's gonna enjoy it goddamnit.
Except once when Kim comes over to the minor fam house at Kinn's request for "personally verifying the money leaks Porsche found out and see if he could update the security in any way possible while he's at it " , and he runs a *bit* late . Kim gracefully accepts Porsche's invitation to "crash opposite to Chay's room , that's where his friends stay over sometimes . Chay's my brother by the way, have you guys met?😄".
And Kim has to listen to Porchay and some ba**ard loudly make their way to Porchay's suite in what was so late at night that it was early in the morning , even by Kim's standards.
Pants , purrs . *Moans.* F#cking moans.
And thuds of flesh on the wall when they got too excited and tripped on the carpet. Laughs and giggles. Not a care as to who might hear.
Kim thought it would end once they got in the suite . Well he was wrong. He had to listen to every single whimper, shout and cry ; and finally understood why the maid explained how Khun Porchay prefers the entire floor to himself for his music usually .
He couldn't sleep even after it got fully quiet . He couldn't sleep for a long time after .
#porsche is blissfully unaware of everything#except the mafia he's getting pretty good with practice maybe even better than kinn#Kim purposefully made it late to stay over except porchay got home 4 hours later than he expected#also who's to say that Kim won't find a lovebite riddled macau cooking a light breakfast and coffee the next morning around noonish#when he himself went to the kitchenette to get a strong cup of coffee fir battling hus mother sleepless night#macau might have been whistling along to a cherry wik song while flipping pancakes and finishing off with a smiley face on top#and kim fully realises what he's lost for the first time ever#thai boys love series#thai drama#thailand#thai bl series#kinnporsche#asian lbgtq dramas#kinnporche the series#kimchay#jeff satur#be on cloud#barcode tinnasit#ta nannakun#i always imagine ta as macau idk why he's just a perfect macau in my mind#I'm kimchi through and through but this took root in my mind a couple of days back and won't let go#jealous kim is my jam#macauchay#i guess??#battle his sleepless night i meant*#cheery wik song *#also bonus that kim had to listen to the early morning round when he comes back with a very sad black coffee and apple
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Also . Dumb question but if you have the energy . What's your opinion on each individual polysquad ship . I'm only really sold on anhane and akty (both canon 2 me ...) but I'm really curious to hear your thoughts :o
My thoughtssss
The tldr is. In terms of canon, obviously AnHane and AkiToya are hinted at a lot and for the first few months were the only ones I shipped. Then I started thinking AkiKoha was cute and then 2 months later (around SDSC on en) I just went full in.
AnHane were always the biggest for me. Just from the beginning I loved them (doesn't help that AB was what got me fully invested in Sekai) and the story really doesn't help in not getting me invested. I mean Buddy Funny exists. Y'know. AkiToya also for the main story, just not as big as AnHane.
AkiKoha came from me just. Really liking their dynamic. As in, the whole resolve thing and how Kohane took Akito's harshness as a way to push herself forward instead. Then when main story finishes Akito is constantly on her side. I really like the similarities in how they view An/Toya (who grew up with music where they didn't) as so much better (and also how they view Akito/Kohane in return). I also like how they grow to trust each other. ESPECIALLY in Kick it up a Notch. For Akito, Crawl Green is a really important event (as seen in FAWO) but he has enough trust in Kohane to let her lead the event. I just think they're neat.
In a similar sense, Akito and An have known each other the longest, Akito picked up the dream after seeing both RW and An performing on the street, An had respected Akito a lot before the game. They understand each other to the point where (particularly in early events ie An1/2 and Akito1) they are the ones to confront the other. Also in regards to LUTF, Akito specifically is always looking out for VBS, to the point where, in his second card side story, he finds a cafe off of Vivid Street for them to go to. Sadly this understanding of each other is rarely portrayed in fandom because (misogyny/out of character portrayals seriously why is An bullying Akito so popular).
Sekai hates us so Toya doesn't get much with An and Kohane. An really likes hyping Toya up and Kohane takes book recommendations from him. When I finally get myself back to reading events and I reach Kohane Valentine's it's over for you all. However I will mention that SDSC is a big source for VBS dynamic in general. It's a nice event for letting them breathe a bit and is probably why I'm still so big on polysquad today. I especially recommend Kohane's card side stories (part one in particular for showing one of my fav bits of AnToya which, again, we don't ever get).
#i won't ever forgive sekai for not letting vbs interact more outside of as vivids/bad dogs#like. i get why. but come onnnn#also forgot to say so i'll put here: legend still vivid has a nice bit as well where an/akito reminiscence over rad weekend together#bagel answers#canon is certainly real but they aren't giving us the vbs road trip OR beach trip any time soon#so they shall exist in my mind. and maybe one day i will write it (when i finish this tpp fic aj ily but PLEASE)
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tfw when you get a rush of inspiration and the scattered pieces in your head connect >>>>
#this happened to me with siphon. this happened to me with crash.#and now its happening again with tint and shade#JK THEYRE NOT CALLED THAT ANYMORE IM CHANGING THEIR ENTIRE LORE#i felt it was too similar to ink/siphon's lore....... the twins lore was the first i ever made so i didn't tske into consideration#the lore everyone else would have#i did an EENSY bit of research for this. all my inspiration for this was two goddamn theater masks#if i manage to finish them today or tomorrow or the day after that it would be great#then that would only leave me with crash and vice.SER to think about#and then i could get to work on the actual multiverse interactions#GOOOOOD who knew making an entire fucking multiverse with only 8 characters was gonna be this hard#it ok tho bc ive really been thinking about my character's lore and coming up with cool backstories.........#i rlly hope people like swapinverse i really hope people SEE swapinverse#id kms if nobody did because i really love these characters i made and i don't wanna keep them hostage for this long#insipiration and motivation comes in waves for me im sorry ☹️☹️☹️ if im not inspired i won't work on swapinverse#tricule rant#ok but its only been like 10 days of summer break and im already i think more than halfway done....??? hopefully????#maybe ill ACTUALLY finish swapinverse by the end of this summer break and then maybe be able to show it to people.........#would people be into my ocs. would they even like them. i mean like maybe#but tbfr idrk. i don't know if i wanna make an ask blog or make comics#i was thinking of doing a bunch of different mediums for this but idk#maybe i could make comics for the mst and write for siphon/crash and then make big pieces with tidbits of lore for the twins#STILL have no idea what the fuck im gonna do with vice.SER. i'll grt to him eventually
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ferns ^__^ forgot how much i loved her
#decided to reread the comic from the start since um. I left off maybe 4 years ago near the start of phase two?#which. thank god i get to see with a fresh set of eyes i LOVE the frankly absurd amount of foreshadowing everywhere#like. the line about the hospital being a 'piece of cake' from the corpse world arc. ARGH.#awful hospital#i also drew a jay but um. for the betterment of everyone i won't show him since i gave him mullet swag#fern#willis#ahstwe#has that ever been used as a tag?? whatever#have i ever posted my art here. oh well#OH for the first image i initially intended for the candles to get gradually shorter so that the 'n' was like a stub but#by that point i had already finished drawing them so#forgot to draw ferns gloves in the second image too... i always forget they're there. could never forget her socks though#oroeginals
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genuinely so upset about not being able to scream to my mom about my cardigan :')
#genuinely. not happy.#it sucks guys!!!! it sucks sooo much you don't get it!!!!!!!!#this is the first time I've ever been making something and not been able to go to my mom about it and thats so#its just#im sad#especially bc like. i could be asking her help. for an idea. for a stitch. when i mess up. and i cant.#man.#and i can't share my joy either!!!!#I'm almost done!!!!! and i can't send her photos!!!!!! i won't be able to send her finished photos either!!!!!!!!!#I'm gonna cry about this while i work on the border some more i just wanted to yell for a moment <3#but bc its trans colored and she KNOWS the tran flag and im not out to her and she'll understand what it means and im!!!!!!!#maybe i do it anyway and thats how i come out LMAO im kidding thats terrifying. its all terrifying tho so yolo amirite#tell her im making it for my friend abram :')))#which very possibly ALSO would be seen right thriving bc i HAVE talked to get about aftg fjsjfjsjjsjf#but that situation gives huge 'elephant in the room' by confetti vibes#anyway#back to crocheting i just got really hit with the sad#shh ac
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#i don't like how this past year has been me getting really anxious because of my health#because it really put me on edge deciding whether i want to draw and finish my projects#or do my schoolwork and finish college#because i haven't been able to imagine myself anywhere past graduation and my health situation hasn't helped matters#i could be overreacting and i'm actually fine and this is a temporary pain issue#because i'm continuously denied getting my pain checked out due to expenses and the like#everything is too expensive#who knows maybe i'll live past graduation and i can continue my art as usual#but i'm panicking more over the pain daily and feel like stopping my classes and just draw draw draw#i'm more concerned about making fanart tbh because i have so many ll wips#and i sincerely want to give back to the fandom more than ever#but a dead artist can't contribute#neither can a living artist who is in too much pain to work#still thinking about posting my wips and ideas and maybe they'll inspire some other people here#ideas and concepts will get lost in translation but it's better than nothing#... i wish we had more artists here#maybe i won't feel this way if that was the case#ernest talks#i really don't meant to death scare anyone reading this i could be overreacting over my own health#it just ties real closely to how worried i get about the fandom in general and how much time i dedicate making projects for the community#so i'm just.. scared i guess#how would people know when a blog largely on hiatus is permanently inactive? will i let people know in time if something happens to me?
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starting to realise that damn maybe there really is just something fundamentally wrong with me
I have more dumb shit to say about it but you can only have 30 tags?? that's some fucking bullshit. anyway tl;dr: fictional characters not real, I'm depressed about it, I'm a mess my life's a mess everything sucks, I'm crying, life sucks. I've got issues.
#I don't want to be dead#I want to be alive but. not here. there's nothing that could happen in my actual life that would make it good enough to be worth it#I feel so fucking pathetic and gross and broken but the only people I want to be with are fictional#I can't even do the fandom thing and make friends that way. I don't want to talk about them. I want to be with them and nothing else#I'm just. stuck here and I'll never be happy and there will never be anything that I want as much as that#it's so. fucking. pathetic#but like what is there in real life. what could happen that would be good enough. I'll finish uni one way or the other. I'll get a job.#maybe we'll be able to have our own house someday#and then? what then?#it'll happen over and over again. I'll fall in love with these fictional worlds and these fictional people and it'll break my heart every#time again and again until I die#there's nothing else. there's nothing that I want. nothing in real life will ever feel that good because. obviously it won't. it's real.#it's not perfect it's not made up by me specifically to be everything I want#I can't rewrite the same scenario over and over again in my mind until he says exactly the right thing to make me feel better#I'll never have these perfect friends or this perfect guy or this exciting but safe life because it's. just. not real#I just#I don't know how I can keep doing this#I'm so tired#I can't keep feeling like this#it feels so fucking bad#how goddamn embarrassing is it to be an adult in your 30s and just. lie in bed sobbing until you fall asleep because your fucking fictional#crush isn't real and your fictional friends aren't real and you'll never know what happiness feels like#because it can't even get close to the fucking joy you feel when you think about them. it's everything#it feels so fucking good just for a moment and you need it over and over again but you know you can never have it#I'm driving myself insane#genuinely insane.#to the point where every time it gets worse. every time I get these feelings I feel higher and lower than ever before#it feels better and more intense and more amazing. then I realise I still have to be here. I still can't go away. and it feels like dying.#every time a part of me dies.#it's so fucking silly. I know how melodramatic this all is. oh wahh life is so boring and I'm sooo sad over these fictional people I'm gonn
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oh, to write something so darkly, delightfully gut-wrenching and heart-rending that a person just stares at the last page of the book in awe, unwilling, yet, to let it go.
#lemony overshares#just finished a book and i liked it can you tell#this feeling man it never gets old#finishing a good story always feels like i have to say goodbye to a very dear friend i won't see for a really long time#maybe ever#and it's just so... the feeling is like nostalgia and love and bereavement all smushed together and stuffed down into my insides to keep-#it safe#hard to explain i'm not explaining it right but it's there right now and i am bereft#thanks for coming to my tag talk
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Turkish Dizi girlies where do you watch your stuff for free without signing up?
#anyway#Watching reborn rich#Getting into SVT#spending waaaay too much time thinking of Wonwoo send help#Finished twenty five twenty one and God was so true for hinting I should stop at episode 12#I didn't hate the show#I reeeeeeally appreciate it and Baek Yi-jin I will personally protect you from the harsh effects of life#Went through another ATEEZ phase (thanks Mingi :* )#They have the most *about that life* energy ever😂#Seeing that I even circled back to SVT (thanks Joshua)#I can certify that the diamond life to atiny (or vv) pipeline is real#However fans have a much bigger influence on how I enjoy an artist than one would think#Yes I am saying the less toxic a fanbase the more likely I am to stick around even if EYE am not interacting with the fanbase#But I want to get into Pentagon however I need a few months break from Kpop all together before I enter the rabbit hole again#Or maybe I won't#Maybe I should just enter my podcast era#TrIed getting into High Class but it annoyed me#Mine was too dramatic for me and that grandson of the household falls for the help trope upset me because SHE COULD LOSE HE JO#job do not be so wreckless young man#I hate the /he would risk it all including your safety just to be with you/ trope like she needed that job bruh don't get her into trouble?#High Class? I didn't want to see little children cry#JaeIn is a beautiful babygirl#I got so excited when I saw Turkey in reborn rich /.\#Start Up is so difficult for me to get through bro the first episode is just—MUST THERE BE SO MUCH SADNESS#Sky Castle had too much academic trauma—I'm good#Gaus Electronics you are my happy watch my favourite background noise best comedy favourite everything the cast was great the jokes hit ju—#CORRECT
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his pointy elf ears and boyfailure personality have captivated me
#mine#getting ast4rion (i think my posts keep showing up in searches for the game and i don't like it. everyone go away)#to like my character is a very slow process#his quest is also just kind of slow i guess it seems like most of his stuff happens later in act 2/in act 3#thats my guess#but anyway i think i finally got him to high approval with my character yesterday which is wonderful#or maybe it was 2 days ago i dont remember#i finished classes yesterday and nothing really feels real (in a good way)#i just want my guy (who is my self insert i won't lie...) and astar1on to kiss and do gay stuff together#and fall in love forever and ever but they're being so SLOOWWWWWWW ABOUT IT#but sometimes in my head i like to fill in the gaps and imagine random moments between them#and think about how each of them is feeling and thinking about the other#:) this game is awesome
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I need to go to bed. I have to work tonight and I need to go grocery shopping before that so I can eat lunch.
But the writing... the STORIES. They demand to be told.
#haven't written like this in ages and it feels great but also it terribly irresponsible#I got one (1) Idea TM two weeks ago and ever since I've written almost 40k words based on it#and the worst? maybe okayest? thing about all of this is the fact that I probably won't even post these stories#like it's just mostly been writing for Me. which I'm thoroughly enjoying. but also. the Need To Share is so strong#but also also. i don't want to promise/start posting a long project and then not deliver/get bored/burnt out/sidetracked#i have so many WIPs i want to finish but instead the new idea is taking over my brain#what else is new?#it's not even for a fandom i'm actively engaged in and I've never written or posted for lmao
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really funny and hilarious how instead of catching up on the airing dramas I'm severely behind on, I choose to binge two completely unrelated dramas [and im loving it!]
#im almost done the eighth sense#can't believe it took me this long to actually watch it#I know it's a happy ending which helps#literally best couple ever theyre so 🥹🫶🏻#would finish tonight but logic is telling me to go to bed and just watch the last two eps when I get up tomorrow#and im also gonna check out hidden love 👀🫣#I swore myself off from cdramas but literally my whole Instagram won't shut up about it#I /did/ catch up on ktl#and while it's certainly not my cup of tea 100% of the time (I was heavily debating dropping it and I'm skipping a lot of the scenes)#it's still super cute!!! junho of course is always a win and ep 8 kiss scene really sealed the deal for me#I am planning on catching up on revenant cause I am genuinely really loving that show#and still debating 19th life dont @ me!#maybe I need to give it another chance but in my defense I have not been in the headspace for those kind of dramas#lindsay speaks
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