#that linked song its literally their epilogue.

[flovoid]

whats heartbreaking to me about their lore/arc in flawtown is that they are two different teenagers with different past and beliefs but happened to click together and become BFFs who also believe that they can do anything together.

☆ if flawtown was an actual fleshed-out story with consistent episodes you would see that:

in the beginning of the series, Charl#¿es Carl & Killian are supposed to be teens who plans to run away from this town (flawtown)

we would witness that Killian-him being the grumpy teen, hated both his parents his whole life for poor parenting-was the one who brought the ‘runaway teens’ idea, and Carl-him being the empathetic teen who is controled by his family, yet being neglected by them (the black sheep)-at that time was hesitant over the idea.

yet throughout the series these two teen would have some character development, both of them influence each other without knowing, dealing with their emotions & behaviors.

Carl would go face his family, exposing his father-the mayor-wrongs, would help those people who got mislead by his mother’s greed, all that to make flawtown better. Killian would become less angry and would find himself making more time being around his other half-siblings, learn to forgive his alcoholic-father for trying, regardless of his mother intentions; he also would learn to forgive her too.

in the end of their arc, the one who would want to leave flawtown would be Carl, him believing he has nothing left of him in this town anymore. Freedom was awaiting for Carl, he chose to hit the roads to find his ultimate destination. On the contrary, Killian surprisingly would want to stay, he believes he finally have a purpose to stay in this town, with his family, with his new hobby that he found himself enjoying which is handiness; he finds joy in making other people smile over fixing stuff.

so… we would find the teens separating… they never thought that their little bond was too short to be cut off, for them it’s only a year and eleven days they been friends. Before departing, they both promised each other that whenever the clock ticks to eleven, they would call for the other name.

will you be around?♬

[timperi-fan]

Your timperi playlist is so good!!!! I wasn't expecting some of the song choices but they fit so well???? and it was fun trying to guess from wich pov they were and how they fit in the fic's story.

Its a little silly, but I got a bit excited when I played the songs that I already knew, thinking of them in the context of this ship/fic. Like, little talks??? amnesia??? HURTS LIKE HELL???? PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME????? I WANNA ME YOURS????? PINK!!! IN!!! THE!!! NIGHT!!!?????

I'm truly obsessed with this playlist <3

Also, Rewrite the Stars being there made me think of that one scene people used to redraw as their own ships when the movie first came out (I think it was Zack Efron and Zendaya's characters first meeting, idk I haven't actually seen the movie xD) and I couldn't help thinking about Timmy and Peri in that scene, someone should draw that *winkwink*

Also! The cover art is really cute, could you tell me where you found it?

(also!! i just saw your new post about ILITAYH and i'm. so. excited!!! -especially for the horniness and the tears ;) )

Link to the playlist.

Thank you so much, anon!! 🥺 I spent DAYS getting that playlist exactly perfect (instead of actually writing the fic, whoops) so I am so glad to see others enjoying it!!

Some songs are from Timmy's POV, some are from both, but most of them are Peri's. He's the main character, after all.

The playlist has a couple of different "sections." The first eight songs fall under Part 1: Brothers, which is all before Timmy lost his memory. Hence why these songs gradually get more melancholy, despite being tinged with hope, as the inevitable approaches.

Part 2: Alone, is... Exactly what it sounds like. These songs on the playlist get more depressing as Peri's explosive grief simmers into a constant state of depression over time. These songs do follow the five stages of grief very loosely — but I have a specific song in mind to fit "acceptance." See if you can guess which one it is :)

Part 3: Strangers, is the part of the playlist where Timmy and Peri meet again, as adults. I don't have a clearly defined point where this bleeds into Part 4: Friends, or a point where it becomes Part 5: Love. I guess that's okay, though! It suits them, because Peri and Timmy couldn't define those stages of their relationship if you asked them, either, lol!

A lot of the songs in the middle of the playlist are more for ~vibes~ than story beats. A lot of the "I don't want to be in love with you" type songs are meant to represent Peri's inner turmoil... But in the fic proper, he's repressing the hell out of those thoughts! He experiences the denial and the self-hatred and the regret all at once, after his relationship with Timmy reaches a point where Peri can no longer deny it :)

The mutual pining part of the playlist is my favorite! See this stretch of songs? ↓↓

These are actually POV switches! They go from Peri to Timmy to Peri to Timmy etc for a while, as they both grapple (or, in Timmy's case, don't grapple) with their feelings. It's so fun having Peri's sadder, longing, soulful songs about desire and struggling to accept that right next to Timmy's upbeat, bouncing songs about how they are perfect together and he wants Peri so bad, haha 💕

Part 6: Together settles towards the end, filled with love songs that become softer as they bleed into the "epilogue" of the playlist, Part 7: Forever.

Timmy and Peri's relationship in ILITAYH will not go this smoothly, ha! Nor will it necessarily end how the playlist implies that it does. But there are some hints in the last two songs as to how the fic will conclude :)

But, yeah >_< I can literally ramble about every single song on that playlist and how it relates to TimPeri. Do not feel silly, anon, I promise that not only am I more deranged about them than you, but I am beyond happy to have someone as excited about this playlist as I am!!

[spiderandme]

Illinoise thoughts:

The campfire gathering is probably as good of a framing device as could be asked for in terms of cohering these songs which were never meant to form a story with each other, even if it does mean sidelining most of the record's cultural/historical/political thematic content (more on that later). It seems on the surface a bold move not to have Henry’s story begin until over a third of the way into the show, but of course his arc of finding vulnerability through community (and community through vulnerability) is happening more or less the whole time.

That said, certain songs from the first act work better than others. John Wayne Gacy Jr is obviously the most instrumental in coaxing Henry into eventually opening up (him watching from the background during the dancer's emotional breakdown at the end was an excellent touch, although the singer live dubbing it was decidedly not), and Jacksonville and The Man of Metropolis are show stoppers enough to work regardless of any relevance to Henry's story (Jacksonville has more than Man of Metropolis, and is such a showstopper that the two almost definitely should have swapped places), but Night Zombies has the rough double whammy of not being a show stopper and having nothing to do with anything else, making it the clear weak link. It's clumsy in theory to aggressively spotlight the record's political and historical heft for this number and this number only, but it's even clumsier in practice to have the zombies hold up literal signs telling you which American historical figures they're meant to represent. This could have been smoothed out by making all their costumes as overt as the Columbus one, nixing the signs and just letting a slight lull be what it is. Still, it's not as though it damages the grand emotional arc that much given that Henry's friends surrounding and reassuring him pre-epilogue still more than pays off in the end.

Can't overstate just how much of a highlight Jacksonville is. I for one had a full body emotional peak of tearful exhilaration so intense that I was physically unable to approach the same state for the rest of the show.

It's remarkable just how instantly I bought many of the fabricated meanings and links between songs that weren't intended on the record. There are obvious things like the "three stars" representing the three major figures in the Act Two songs or The Seers Tower being about suicide, but there are even subtler and neater connections, like how in its context the "into the car from the backseat/oh admiration in falling asleep" lyric in Predatory Wasp is instantly understood as referring to the van from Chicago.

Other things were a little harder to get behind; it was hard to ignore that Decatur, Prairie Fire (I think), and half of Predatory Wasp lyrically had almost nothing to do with the story they were backdropping.

Absolutely loved that the arrangements were based more on the way the songs were presented on the Illinois tour rather than on the record; it naturally makes for a better live experience and also betrays the careful passion that went into the production. Particularly thinking of the Jacksonville chorus and the extended Predatory Wasp outro (which is brilliantly personified as the gradual comedown from anxiety attack to regulated breathing).

Like the signs in Night Zombies, the accompanying journal booklet stashed in the playbill was mostly unnecessary and overwrought and I wish it had been reduced down to only the couple pages briefly outlining the characters.

I simply do not know enough about dancing to have a very valuable opinion about the choreography (I know there's been some professional criticism about the show not being ambitious enough in this respect). I will say I thought the Casimir Pulaski Day choreo was incredibly moving, especially towards the end.

I'm very happy this show exists. I had a truly wonderful time, and now a day removed it still seems to me a frequently successful and always loving try at elevating the text of Illinois into something much grander. I felt like I got to hear the record for the first time again and I'm eternally grateful for it, though I still think the quintessential Illinois experience still is and always will be to actually hear the record for the first time (and then of course time travel to 2006 to see it live, although this show is a highly serviceable substitute).

[not-freyja]

Okay here we go! In which I take all of your theories and quesions seriously and only refuse to answer/clarify anything that would be a spoiler.

Picture 1 - The Timeline

time is scratched out and replaced with sapling. because of the war of eras? nickname yipee?

Yes. Ravio calls Mask/baby Time "Sapling." He has since they "met" in Ch. 30. This is about the War of Eras. Stay tuned for Wind's Epilogue.

the music notes linking time to wind must refer to how the song of time sent time back and left that timeline w/o the hero's spirit

Yup! Got it in one!

the triforce linking legend to time has to mean something but my minimal zelda lore knowledge is leaving me to die. ik its the downfall timeline, so is it a reference to how the triforce got Fucked Up by pig man? did it get messed up??? never actually played cards meaning to learn /reference

This is about how Legend himself used the Triforce to resurrect the Fallen Hero / Bring back Time / Create both Wind and Twilight's timeline's indirectly. Legend says so in ch 41, and Ravio brings it up again in ch 49 and 51 respectively.

there's so many scribblies around hyrule (i love the hearts on the 'i's its adorable). hyrule found the book and thats why he gets loops?

It is adorable. Fucking love Ravio. The scribbles are representative of time loops, but what they actually represent is... variously clear. One of the squiggles is representative of the Book Loop.

[ hi revision glowmin here. had a thought: what if there's multiple timelines that branch out from when rulie first used the book. what if the first visit wasn't legend. how many fractured timelines could that one event have caused ]

Dink is going to great pains to keep the Timeline stable and unified. That's the driving logic behind where they go when. He does not want the Timeline to re splinter, and he has reasons for this.

from chapter 49: “So this entire situation is Rulie’s fault?” Twilight’s side moves as he talks and Hyrule leans away from him, falling into Wind instead." haha no don't dump all the fault on hyrule you're so sexy aha /reference 'dink does something fucky' has me cackling. is wild's existence caused by dink? three question marks, 3 parts of the triforce, mmmm that is cooking?? or could just be irony that line also points to rulie again so i Think this has something to do with. the blood curse. that i only know about from fanfiction. ALSO THE LINE CONNECTING RULIE TO WARS!! IS SCRATCHED OUT!! (also from chapter 49: "Dead, lightning bug,” Ravio soothes. “He’s dead, you killed him.”)

I feel like ch 51 answered most if not all of this. At least it should have. These were really good insights/guesses for the information you had at the time, well done!

Picture 2 - Who's Dink is it Anyways

the line about four's shadow has me. okay listen i don't remember the chapter but i KNOW there was a line abt the yiga talking about a small town forge. is that four's home from minish cap. bc back when they met ravio the first (? i forgor) time, ravio told four to remind him about some dark magic (??) book. i thought this would be to revive shadow. is it. is it to revive red instead?? i am not okay abt red death

I know. No one is okay about Red death. No one will ever be okay about Red death. But uh... you have theories about that too I see.

But yes, that is in fact Four's house / workshop from Minish Cap. Bitches love Minish Cap acknowledgement.

'palace' you mean the fucking TONGS FOUR SWORD PALACE??

Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?

the line drawn to the underlined dark link beneath time: 'hylia said "mouth of the river". i think this could either be time or sky. time bc he breaks the timeline into 3, sky bc he literally got cursed for being too cool

Time. It's Time. His Dink, his focal point in the fracture of the original Unified Timeline. Poor baby boy.

rulie: i am going to fucking SCREAM. the line from cia to rulie has 'why' written next to it and that's what i wanna know!! 'not safe' is in a fucking box!! underlined question marks!! ravio bbg please. oh and 3 x's but idk if thats more triforce analogy or just. there to be There

Why does anything happen, really? Well, according to Ravio in ch 51, the book somehow moves from Wars' to Rulie's era explicitly to forge the CHain and save Hyrule's life.

Is he right? Fuck if I know, it's not like I wrote the damn thing.

recycled ganon had me cackle. inconsistent dates tho,,, is that like. linking up to why they're going in reverse in wild's time? bc twilight is the direct predecessor iirc???

So it says "inconsitent data" not "dates." THis is in reference to the fact that they have literally never managed to get a frame of reference for the way that time is moving for them in Twilight's era. Like... who the fuck knows? Not the Chain!

wind: i cannot read what it says next to dead. looks like,,, 'masko' maybe? evidence of there being a dark: i have not beaten wind waker yet but I HAVE got the master sword. is the time lock shenanigan at the bottom of the ocean dink's fault or the master sword's fault.

"Mask's" is what that says. As in, it is Mask's (Sapling/Time's) Ganon that Wind fights. That's now three out of three timelines handled in regards to cleaning up Time's mess!

Wait... wait a minute! Where the actual fuck did Calamity Ganon come from then!? Answer in ch 51 as you saw.

i know like 2 things from hyrule warriors: traitors are cringe and cia apparently is creepy. thats probs why talking about dark versions of him is 'personal'. i wonder what 'safe' means in this context; safe to visit? safe to rule out? shaking ravio like a paper bag. wild drives ravio to apple juice alcoholism more at 11. it is personal is underlined. is it wild's dark? rulie's dark? why are they going backwards? are they going to show up in wild's hyrule for when he DIES because they're going backwards? bro what is up with kyle.

*Evil Laugh.* No comment.

Picture 3 - the visits lets fucking go

WHY IS 8 VISIT BLANK. HOLUP

Because he has no data. It is actively hapening right now. For once it is not that deep.

visits 2 and 3 being about shadow and red. dont look at me i'm crying | visits 2 and 3 are in the same order both for ravio and the links. hmmmmm that's Odd

That is odd, isn't it. Real weird that a consistent pattern of nonlinear narrative would just break like that, huh? For like no reason!

...

*whistles and walks away*

RAVIO LEARNING WHO RED IS AND THEN NEXT VISIT HE'S FUCKING DEAD. HE GOES TO WAR AND THEN HE'S FUCKING DEADDDDD

I literally will never be able to apologize enough for what I have put Ravio through off-screen.

visit 6 'got em' what did you get ravio. huh?? you silly merchant man what did you get??? it certainly wasn't bitches

No bitches. Only a Bitch (Leggy boy).

You'll just have to wait and see on that one. It's the next trip to Ravio town after all.

this is the part of the lore board that i actually fucking. bro the circles this is running me through is insane. like how do i even analyze this its making my headache die so we're just gonna spitball. it. kind of goes in reverse? not really but kinda?? visit 9 is first for all the links, but last for ravio. is this linked to wild's visits being in reverse? if it ends at 9 i'm gonna throw a sock at my wall

Mood. I... I really don't know why I did this to myself. Okay, I mean I do know, it's for the plot/themes, BUT-

Glowmin, I literally wrote this down for the first time when drawing the board I was just keeping track in my brain like a crazy person and somehow writing it down made it make less sense? WHAT

Picture 4 - crying begins

the first like. act of the fic summarized in 1 easy (/s /lh) flowchart. they see the what? rooms? runes? ruins? rains? god i'm illiterate

"They lose the reigns," As in, Hyrule stops taking his turns making portals and they start going where Dink/Hylia want them to.

starting panic for the Dark. singular. i forgor how/if they figured out it was just one.

Ravio used every single brain cell he had to reduce the Ganons/Dinks like a fraction across multiple timelines and realities, as you read in ch 51. Good bunny.

ravio crossing out where wild should be in the timeline is sending me. i think he's got shit from all 3 timelines in his hyrule (yadda yadda A GAME THEORY) so that would explain why they all just cross each other out.

So yeah this is about Wild himself, but more specifically it's about Ganon. He's trying to figure out whose Ganon is it anyway that Wild fights, and the answer is: None of them! This is figured out over on the left of the board / the section you labeled "whose dink is it anyway."

Logically, Wild cannot exist. He cannot have fought a guy that doesn't exist. So...

What the fuck happens?

'wind said shit' that's a good observation. is this as in he said STUFF or as in he cursed and actually said the shit word. important distinction. maybe Wind says something in the war of eras??

This is about the War. No further comment.

the question mark between cia and rulie. is that dink. whats up with the question marks after hyrule. does that imply that it fucking disappears at some point?? or do they just not know

So this is about the chain (ha) of possession of the spellbook. With all the information that you the reader now have, after chapter 53, it can now be written as:

Cia (pre fic) -> ??? -> Rulie (ch 1) -> Legend (ch 2) -> Ravio (very briefly off screen before ch 4) -> Rulie (ch 4-48) -> Warriors (very briefly in ch 48) -> Ravio (ch 48-31 via backwards time travel and non linear motion through time / Visit 8 to Visit 9) -> Vio (ch 31-present day/ch 53 and presumably onward until told otherwise.).

It's still a mystery how it goes from Cia to Rulie in the first place. Ravio has a theory about the why but not the how, at least not one he wrote down here.

...Please tell me that makes sense.

Picture 5 - part where i think ravio's mental state went wewewewewewewwoowowwowow

Yeah that about sums it up.

'evil god hylia?' the Potential though. i don't think its gonna happen but man that'd be a twist. how do you stop the reincarnation of your lover's soul: fucking kill all of them

The Potential indeed. Not this story though. Maybe another time.

'evil blink' is that. vaati?? nvm it says evil link i'm illiterate again oopsies!! now we know how ravio came up with dink. cooked

Ravio fucking cracked, he went "What if a Link but like... evil? Like a Dark Link? A Dink, if you would?"

'inconsistent travel more than one person in control' yeah fucking kohga is in on this. drag him ravio

Fuck the Yiga clan. All my homies hate the Yiga clan.

'resurrected monsters by blood curse/blessing' is this related to hyrule's blood curse. i don't think dink wants to revive ganon so what does he need the blood for. is he wanting to ascend to godhood?? vague sputtering sounds

So Dink is trying to resurrect Ganon and also -

Actually you know what don't worry about it, we'll get there eventually.

one timeline makes sense when we hear abt why ravio didn't tell everyone about red's death. still sad but that line paired with 'so we keep going forward [...] no counting on do-overs [...] one step at a time [...] together [...] or not at all' really hits home.

You picked up on the motifs, I see. About the lack of second chances, about how you can't undo what's been done, how mistakes and regrets and kindness and love ripple out across time and lives and...

The things we do are permanent, like so much broken glass.

All we can do is go forward. Together, or not at all.

analyzing the adjuration ravio board

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS SIT DOWN SHUT UP WE'RE GOING OFF 4 CUPS OF WATER AND A MIGRAINE BUT WE ARE GOING TO COPE

i unfortunately have an abysmal zoom so i've Enhanced the writing for bits I couldn't quite read but anyways LETS GET INTO IT. WITNESS THE ANALYSIS FROM AN IDIOT WHO BASICALLY ONLY KNOWS THE LORE OF FOUR SWORDS.

@not-freyja hi i hope you like this insane loveletter to adjuration (idk how else to. share it. yay)

alright starting off with the timeline and all the looping fuckeries (motherfucker got more arrows than an ikea checkout lane)

time is scratched out and replaced with sapling. because of the war of eras? nickname yipee?

the music notes linking time to wind must refer to how the song of time sent time back and left that timeline w/o the hero's spirit

the triforce linking legend to time has to mean something but my minimal zelda lore knowledge is leaving me to die. ik its the downfall timeline, so is it a reference to how the triforce got Fucked Up by pig man? did it get messed up??? never actually played cards meaning to learn /reference

there's so many scribblies around hyrule (i love the hearts on the 'i's its adorable). hyrule found the book and thats why he gets loops?

[ hi revision glowmin here. had a thought: what if there's multiple timelines that branch out from when rulie first used the book. what if the first visit wasn't legend. how many fractured timelines could that one event have caused ]

from chapter 49: “So this entire situation is Rulie’s fault?” Twilight’s side moves as he talks and Hyrule leans away from him, falling into Wind instead." haha no don't dump all the fault on hyrule you're so sexy aha /reference

'dink does something fucky' has me cackling. is wild's existence caused by dink? three question marks, 3 parts of the triforce, mmmm that is cooking?? or could just be irony

that line also points to rulie again so i Think this has something to do with. the blood curse. that i only know about from fanfiction.

ALSO THE LINE CONNECTING RULIE TO WARS!! IS SCRATCHED OUT!! (also from chapter 49: "Dead, lightning bug,” Ravio soothes. “He’s dead, you killed him.”)

who's dink is it anyways

the line about four's shadow has me. okay listen i don't remember the chapter but i KNOW there was a line abt the yiga talking about a small town forge. is that four's home from minish cap.

bc back when they met ravio the first (? i forgor) time, ravio told four to remind him about some dark magic (??) book. i thought this would be to revive shadow. is it. is it to revive red instead??

i am not okay abt red death

okay back to the flowchart: shit they haven't been to skyloft yet. i did not realize that until now

'palace' you mean the fucking TONGS FOUR SWORD PALACE??

the line drawn to the underlined dark link beneath time: 'hylia said "mouth of the river". i think this could either be time or sky. time bc he breaks the timeline into 3, sky bc he literally got cursed for being too cool

rulie: i am going to fucking SCREAM. the line from cia to rulie has 'why' written next to it and that's what i wanna know!! 'not safe' is in a fucking box!! underlined question marks!! ravio bbg please.

oh and 3 x's but idk if thats more triforce analogy or just. there to be There

recycled ganon had me cackle. inconsistent dates tho,,, is that like. linking up to why they're going in reverse in wild's time? bc twilight is the direct predecessor iirc???

wind: i cannot read what it says next to dead. looks like,,, 'masko' maybe? evidence of there being a dark: i have not beaten wind waker yet but I HAVE got the master sword. is the time lock shenanigan at the bottom of the ocean dink's fault or the master sword's fault.

i know like 2 things from hyrule warriors: traitors are cringe and cia apparently is creepy. thats probs why talking about dark versions of him is 'personal'. i wonder what 'safe' means in this context; safe to visit? safe to rule out? shaking ravio like a paper bag.

wild drives ravio to apple juice alcoholism more at 11. it is personal is underlined. is it wild's dark? rulie's dark? why are they going backwards? are they going to show up in wild's hyrule for when he DIES because they're going backwards? bro what is up with kyle.

the visits lets fucking go

WHY IS 8 VISIT BLANK. HOLUP

revision glowmin again. We’re not at visit 9. I have no clue why I thought we were there. Migraines are shit.

visits 2 and 3 being about shadow and red. dont look at me i'm crying | visits 2 and 3 are in the same order both for ravio and the links. hmmmmm that's Odd

RAVIO LEARNING WHO RED IS AND THEN NEXT VISIT HE'S FUCKING DEAD. HE GOES TO WAR AND THEN HE'S FUCKING DEADDDDD

visit 6 'got em' what did you get ravio. huh?? you silly merchant man what did you get??? it certainly wasn't bitches

this is the part of the lore board that i actually fucking. bro the circles this is running me through is insane. like how do i even analyze this its making my headache die so we're just gonna spitball.

it. kind of goes in reverse? not really but kinda?? visit 9 is first for all the links, but last for ravio. is this linked to wild's visits being in reverse?

if it ends at 9 i'm gonna throw a sock at my wall

for visit 5 on ravio's side it looks like it says pregnant. ik it doesn't but i cannot make out what it is

[ revision glowmin here again. its research. why did i think it said pregnant. that has literally nothing to do with the fic. ]

crying begins because i can barely ready any of this so bear with me here (BEAR WITH ME!!)

the first like. act of the fic summarized in 1 easy (/s /lh) flowchart. they see the what? rooms? runes? ruins? rains? god i'm illiterate

starting panic for the Dark. singular. i forgor how/if they figured out it was just one.

ravio crossing out where wild should be in the timeline is sending me. i think he's got shit from all 3 timelines in his hyrule (yadda yadda A GAME THEORY) so that would explain why they all just cross each other out.

'wind said shit' that's a good observation. is this as in he said STUFF or as in he cursed and actually said the shit word. important distinction. maybe Wind says something in the war of eras??

the question mark between cia and rulie. is that dink. whats up with the question marks after hyrule. does that imply that it fucking disappears at some point?? or do they just not know

the part where i think ravio's mental state went wewewewewewewwoowowwowow

'evil god hylia?' the Potential though. i don't think its gonna happen but man that'd be a twist. how do you stop the reincarnation of your lover's soul: fucking kill all of them

'evil blink' is that. vaati?? nvm it says evil link i'm illiterate again oopsies!! now we know how ravio came up with dink. cooked

'inconsistent travel more than one person in control' yeah fucking kohga is in on this. drag him ravio

'resurrected monsters by blood curse/blessing' is this related to hyrule's blood curse. i don't think dink wants to revive ganon so what does he need the blood for. is he wanting to ascend to godhood?? vague sputtering sounds

one timeline makes sense when we hear abt why ravio didn't tell everyone about red's death. still sad but that line paired with 'so we keep going forward [...] no counting on do-overs [...] one step at a time [...] together [...] or not at all' really hits home.

this took 3 hours but yeah i'm Normal about this

[tomatograter]

Hey, I just listened through your Jake's Life playlist, and I was wondering if you could talk about some of the songs you chose and their order? I really liked it and keep giggling at "non-binary manipulator music"

GOT ANOTHER ONE.... yeah I can definitely do some DJ commentary on this one, I chose the track order to be chronologic so a few of the songs have a specific context I was going for.

Ill put the thoughts under the cut, here's the link to the playlist to preemptively answer anyone looking for it

STARTING AT THE TOP: this cover is a full-cycle family ordeal. I think you can read it as jake about jade or jade about jake, seeing as both their parental relationships involved their own form of longing and protectiveness that ends up as abandonment for heroic ends. As much as the beginning is hopeful the end refrain feels really helpless/desperate, which fits.

I call this bit the childhood/developmental cycle. All of these are recurrent jakethemes in no specific chronology. 'Classic J dies and goes to Hell' is a song I come back to often with him so I put it right at the top even though it could fit pretty much anywhere. We've got the loneliness/hopeful/weirdo/yearning/gender thing estabilished with these, and that's pretty much all the beats of the upcoming songs. Oh, also, Skeleton Appreciation Day starts the thread of 'grief-as-love' or just vaguely morbid love songs since 'jade's death' and 'dirk's constant state of practical suicides' play off one another hard.

IDK if I'm a Boy feels like the stars aligning for this playlist because it is explicitly a song about being gender non-conforming, not knowing if you even fit into the definition of nonbinary, getting mad about your body image, and also your name is Jake.

THIS bit is by far the most fixed sequence. Bar none. The creation of AR + Brobot + Brain ghost dirk are an interlinked ordeal (we literally learn of both through brain ghost dirk's flashback, in which we see young Jake encouraging dirk to go through with it/ how brobot was sent to him as a gift to stave off his loneliness, which is what Mr. Sandman is there for.)

Songs 9 - 12 are the monkey's paw consequences of the initial plea, where instead of Dirk's company Jake is more or less buried under a pile of his counterintuitive splinters. Mr. Roboto serves as both Hal & Brobot's mission statements, Your imaginary friend is for the absurdity of BGD's existence, while The Hound and the Fox is actually based on the birthday scene/flashback where BGD is reenacting all the words coming Dirk during the very long dirkjake conversation - the song is about corrupt governments and a main actor being exposed for willingly playing the part of a dunce, and that’s on brand for Jake.

From 3-legged dog to No Halo things are more abstract and game-event related. Its up to interpretation. I think 3-legged dog could easily be a grandpa song, we have a few romantic anguish/breakup tunes (cold weather, spellbound, sum of my cares) general group dysfunction w/ You don't know me, etc.

Land Where Money's Nightmare Lives + No Halo ALSO work as our trickster/crockertier/hopesplosion connection and, incidentally, just Jake growing up in general. Theres no song celebrating the end of the game, we jump right into Earth C Jake next.

I think these are self-explanatory.

This is another bit that I envision as a package, we start and end on a lullaby note of "I'm changing into something, I don't know what, and it may be terrifying" or as the actual lyrics in Some Kind of Ghoul have it: "Change for the better, or for worse." All of these songs are very gay but also very conflicted and a mite self-destructive. Roddy brings us back to it and also more or less introduces us to the epilogues-related zone, very plainly

Coincidentally this song has sort of the same vibe/postioning as Dark Red (on Dirk's playlist) that also introduces the epilogueszone.

From here on out things get more abstract but also a lot clearer if you keep in mind that context.

Fancy is a little bit about gender, a little bit about feeling indebted to your mother, and broadly about sexual exploitation to afford a safe haven. Throw dice and decide if this is beta, meat, or candy Jake. Works any way. Get Famous is still about fame and implosion, but to the literal level.

Jake's gay and self-sabotaging, what else is new. All of these songs are about loving and covering it up with erratic behavior?

Aaaaaand we reach the finale. The grief-as-love theme comes back full force into these. Special mention to Graveled Guts for being the most sentimental but also the most morbid of the bunch, also directly correlated with grandma's death via the constant use of pyre metaphors.

A friend pointed out that the Mr. Sandman cover way back there sounds like a jake-pov song in direct dialogue with the viewer about his emotional state, and I think theyre right, but also that this happens twice more. It would be sandman for kid jake, I Wanna Boi for freshly adult jake, & Graveled Guts for middle age/old jake. They're all half-spoken, half-sung. The last one is real good.

The rest of the songs in this sequence are a bit fatalistic or pessimistic tbh, Calm me down is another plea, As the World Caves In a confession, Elephant Gun is a looooong time favorite but pretty much mourning a long lost fantasy life (while calling for the current king to be put down), Graveled Guts is a post-mortem lovesong.

Though we end with Pillar of Na, a whopping 8-minute production that is much hopeful than all the previous ones. References a struggle with addiction, an exhaustion with repetitive cyclical reinterpretations ('Either version's cool, But I like the original'), and is the telling of a story that promises to go on indefinitely, eternally, as an unbroken circle, until the speaker and their loved one can get it right this time.

That’s it for our nonbinary manipulator music!

[alwayswriting101]

Acts of Nature, Rough Draft

So this was the first draft of the fic I’m working on/publishing now, Acts of Nature. Clearly it’s changed significantly, Helia’s not even mentioned in the fic anymore, but I feel bad throwing out this draft, especially since it took me a little while to write. So anyway, this is going up here instead just in case anyone will like it. I’m also doing this so I won’t be tempted to upload this as an epilogue to AoN, because that fic is supposed to be dark and this would just ruin it. Please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes. It’s a rough draft for a reason. 

Actual AoN fic link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34930510/chapters/86985838

Title: Rough Draft of AoN

Pairing: FloraxHelia

Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Summary: Flora and Helia go one a date through Gardenia park, where they talk about Flora’s powers and her connection to nature. Set after S4E20

Flora hummed contentedly as she strolled through Garednia’s park, singing along with nature’s symphony. She hadn’t felt this connected to nature since arriving on Earth five months ago. Up until this afternoon, Flora actually hated this mission. Earth was a stunning planet, even rivaling Lynphea with its gorgeous and diverse landscapes, but the humans who lived here polluted it to hell and insisted on destroying every part of nature. From the second she stepped on this magic-forsaken planet, the nature fairy never heard the song of nature, but its screams instead. 

Some days were better than others. Some days only a couple dozen trees were cut down, some days, only a few gallons of waste were poured into the ocean. Some days were manageable. Those days she could manage—even if only just barely—, she could smile, carry on with the mission and pretend everything was fine, as she was so used to doing. 

But other days were terrible. Other days entire forests would burn due to reckless fireworks, or there would be oil spills large enough to cause the ocean to literally catch on fire, or thousands of miles of air would be polluted (1). Those days were nearly unbearable, Flora was much less effective in hiding her pain, withdrawing from her friends, from Helia, choosing to cry and vomit in the comfort of her own room, away from their judging eyes. Flora knew that everyone cared for her, it’s just that they didn’t care or understand her ties to nature. Whenever nature was directly attacked Flora instantly became indisposed, which made her the weak-link of the group, and she knew that aggravated everyone. Their disappointment always showed in their eyes even in Helia’s own eyes when she didn’t destroy Diana’s vines, after he had encouraged her. No one would understand that it wasn’t because she couldn’t destroy the vines, it was because she wouldn’t. The pain due to their destruction wasn’t worth escaping. 

But, now that Flora thought about it, she may as well have destroyed Diana’s vines and enhance her image within the group. For one, the vines were destroyed with the help of Nabu’s magic anyway. Secondly, the Winx Club traveled to the Amazon and battled both Diana and the deforestation brigade, causing Flora pain a million times worse than even her worst days, even causing her to faint, which never happened unless she was directly attacked. Most of the time in Diana’s kingdom was unbearable for the nature fairy, it took her entire strength to even remain standing. Her magic was so negatively affected—even with The Gift of Wisdom granted by the ethereal fairies—that she briefly considered using the alternative....

But she could never do that. Never again.

Anyway, Flora never had to. With the help of the Winx and Specialists, the deforestation brigade were defeated, and Diana’s rage was pacified. Another positive effect was that the pain completely stopped, in fact, Earth seemed to be thriving, the foliage in Gardenia park practically glowed. Every plant she passed by sang to her, instead of screaming in agony. She heard nothing from the depths of the ocean or the winds in the sky. She was completely at peace. Flora didn’t know how long that would last, but every second she was pain-free she would savor. 

And that was not the only thing she would savor. “Helia!” The nature fairy laughed as she lept into his waiting arms. 

“Hi honey,” Helia laughed as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged tightly, “You look so beautiful tonight.”

“Really?” Flora couldn’t help but blush as she pulled away. Even after three years together Helia still manages to make her flush, “But you’ve seen this dress before.” Flora said, pointing to her floral sundress. 

“It’s not what you’re wearing, although it’s very pretty,  it’s you. I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy for a couple of months, you’re literally glowing.”

Flora couldn’t help but grin at Helia’s remarks. “Well when the harmony of nature is restored on Earth I guess that can make a nature fairy a bit happier,” she nonchalantly shrugged as if her sole wish of the past five months wasn’t granted, “but I’m always happiest when I’m with you Helia.”

“Me too.” He affirmed as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “C’mon, let’s take a stroll,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist, “ I feel like we haven’t really been on a date for a long time now.”

Flora leaned into Helia’s hold as they began their stroll. “I know, this mission has been really tough, especially because it’s on Earth, you know?”

Helia nodded, although Flora felt he was just doing so for her benefit. She knew he loved Earth, he even once disclosed to Flora that he was considering staying here for a couple of months after the mission ended, to travel and adventures through different locations, and asked her to remain with him, only throwing the idea out the window once he saw her hesitant face. Flora hated being the cause of Helia’s forgone vacation plans, but there was no way she could spend a second longer on Earth than she needed to. At least before...if the pain remains muted then maybe she could tolerate a couple of weeks vacation here with him. It wouldn’t be fun, as Flora still associated Earth with destruction, but if it could make Helia happy then...

“I know sweetie,” Helia’s heavy sigh broke Flora out of her traveling daydream, “And I know I haven’t been the best with understanding that. I never realized that your connection with nature was so...intense. I’m really, really sorry.”

Flora couldn’t help but pause mid-stride as Helia’s sudden apology made her mind go blank. Helia stopped too, anxiously shifting on his feet as he waited for her response. Her confused stare made his mind go into overdrive so he just decided to continue. “I—er, um… at some point while I was imprisoned, I heard Diana talking about the pain she went through with every tree destroyed, and then I saw her, er, actually being affected by the, um, I suppose voice of nature? Seeing that, love, was really disturbing...and I realized that even though you don’t really talk about it, you must go through the same thing, especially since nature is always attacked on Earth. And you are so strong, because I never noticed that you’re so affected. I’m sorry that I brushed the effect of your magic off, that was terrible of me to do. I didn’t understand, and I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s just that you didn’t know,” Flora comforted as she slipped one of her hands into his, “I didn’t tell you, so I’m sorry too. It’s not your fault.”

“Don’t apologize, I should have known better… I knew that something about you was...off, but I just assumed that it was stress because of the Black Circle, finding Roxy, and all of that. That wasn’t fair of me, I should have asked. You always seem to know when I’m hurting and can talk and support me through that, and I didn’t offer you the same courtesy. That wasn’t fair and I’m really, really really sorry.”

The nature fairy couldn’t help the broad grin that appeared as Helia apologized. She already forgave him, not that she was truly upset in the first place. Frustrated, maybe, because no one really understood her powers, which made others perceive her as weak during vulnerable moments, which she hated, but she could never truly be upset at Helia. But here he was, finally understanding her pain, and she couldn’t have been more relieved. She wouldn’t have to hide her suffering anymore. “It’s okay,” Flora affirmed as she stood on her toes to press a kiss on his cheek, “I really appreciate you saying that. Thank you. ”

“Thank you for being so incredible. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

(1) These things actually did happen, if you recall. In California, USA the entire state was in flames after a firework basically set it on fire, and in the Gulf of Mexico the ocean was literally on fire due to an oil spill igniting. 

[applepixls]

yet another connection/parallel i saw with hadestown and 3rd life/life series

we raise our cups.

in the show its after the curtain call, after all the actors have bowed and such and sort of acts like an epilogue?

several characters sing together and tell the story of what happened to orpheus after the events of the main story, in which the people of the underworld (dead!), eurydice (signed away her soul + orpheus looked back so technically dead and then definitely dead!) and persephone (queen of the underworld!) drink a toast to orpheus "wherever he is wandering/alone upon the earth/let all our singing follow him/and bring him comfort"

a few months ago i saw a cool animatic by fantasticalrain on youtube (i'll link it at the bottom of this schpiel!) where 3l grian played the role of orpheus and the ghosts of everyone, the voices that told them to fight to death in a cactus ring, were the ones singing. in my interpretation (keep in mind the last time i watched it was at least 3 months ago so this interpretation might be a little bit off lol) the ghosts seemed to be.. im not sure how to put it.. a bit. mocking? almost? except in a cold, cruel way. like you're doomed to walk this earth knowing everyone else who once filled this world with their presence is dead and we are them but we don't care or something? (again might be totally off lol)

i propose (now just imagine cause i don't have the animating skills lol) we raise our cups and its scar as orpheus roaming the world of secret life alone as he's caught in his infinite loop of getting hearts for the win secret life task and then getting it again and again and again. he lives in this world alone. of the people singing the song the chief voices are those of the past winners (grian, scott, pearl, martyn) but specifically the voices of grian and pearl. Grian would be paralleling persephone who in hadestown sympathizes with orpheus because his music makes her remember being young and in love and she convinces hades to let them go. this works for grian cause persephone is a goddess and has more power than them mortals, he's the creator of the game. but persephone is still subject to the misery of the underworld like grian is still subject to his own games. also the narratively having been through it, trying/wishing they could change it but nothing really coming from it. then pearl would parallel eurydice because she was who scar had to kill (ironic that he turned his back on her when she died lol) and then after she died he was literally alone in the world. martyn and scotts voices i'd imagine would be more prominent but they'd sing with the rest of the company. said company would be the rest of the lifers. the company is made of the dead, they're miners/wall builders. they've forgotten who they are and don't care about others they kinda just live to work until orpheus's song wakes up their feelings and galvanizes them to try and fight for freedom which ultimately doesn't work because orpheus looks back

Heres the animatic i was talking about!!

hey guys. have you heard of hadestown.

(its a musical that meshes the myths of orpheus & eurydice and hades & persephone)

orpheus is a naive (sorta sheltered?) bard who acts on his whims while eurydice is a realistic and tough girl who's doing all she can to survive

hades is king of the underworld and keeps persephone there a lot of the year meaning there's a lot of winter up above

now hear me out.

3rd life.

scar as orpheus, grian as eurydice.

wedding song as scar proposing they take over the desert, the second verse being grian suggesting they take the dark oak. now, imagine all I've ever known as a dark night dancing in the desert not to mention, "its a sad tale, its a tragedy" (bonus: in a gathering storm eurydice calls for orpheus and he isn't there because he's off writing his song, narratively similar to grian calling for scar in double life when everyone was digging around for their sugar cane while scar was off accidentally lighting the place on fire and petting the jellie pandas)

extra bonus ideas:

persephone sounds like bdubs? like, listen to livin' it up on top. the gritty voice/singing and all her attitude (/pos) and some of the lyrics "who makes the summer sun shine bright?/thats right! persephone!" (he was the esmp2 sun god!) she sort of reminds me of the vibe bdubs gave off when he was ren the king's guy in s9 (my impression was he was kinda frantically running around at ren's whim, its not at all the same with hades and persephone but there's the sort of obeying a king thing)

leading me to my next thought of ren as hades. someone i was listening with said "winter has come" which made me think of "red winter is coming" dfhj

but another thought is just the last life ethubs divorce? seems very relevant with bdubs persephone parallels

also in hey little song bird hades refers to eurydice as a canary and we all know whos a canary

hermes (conductor of the train on the road to hell) and the fates play a narrator type role except hermes is more explicit while the fates are the humming in the back of your head they weave the path of how everything goes and you cant defy them

martyn throughout all the series is a sort of nomadic no solid home kinda guy and always self aware (he makes the lore-) which connects him to hermes for me but at the same time the fates are very much watcher/listener things so like bigb and martyn? (i don't know the lore sorry lol) i'd also say that somehow impulse's littlefinger flip floppy triple double agent character in third life gives a vibe like he knows whats going on in all the groups also connecting him to them for me

(i will say scar could fit hermes as well in being a sort of travelling sales person in last life and a bit in double life? also I've read dirges in the dark which means i see him and the devil and making deals with complicated clauses as very interconnected)

my final note (and being a devils advocate)

scar could also parallel hades.

if you watch his perspective he's very happygolucky and doesn't seem to get the real weight of the situation and such but from other perspectives his and grians deal seems kinda like he's had grian sign away his soul or he's kidnapped grian and there's some stockholm syndrome happening (its actually grians guilt but i digress)

hades convinces eurydice (scar is a silver tongued man) to sign away her soul to him and also the story of hades and persephone is that he kidnaps her and she eats some pomegranite and has to stay in the underworld for part of the year

sooo yeah. paralells between hadestown and 3rd life/life series. enjoy.

[cogentranting]

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and Mockingjays and Roses

*Warning: Full Spoilers for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes*

Symbols are an important part of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. Symbols are used to mark the identities of different characters, define relationships, and provide thematic links to the original trilogy. The symbols work to create a tension in the story, a question of whether they complement or contrast. Symbolism is used to explore two of the most influential people in Snow’s life: Lucy Gray and Katniss. 

The various symbols associated with Lucy Gray are color, music, and birds. Each of these things plays a special role in the story and serves to distinguish her from Coriolanus. In a typical setting, love interests with different symbols could be understood to show how they complement each other-- opposites attract, two halves of a whole, etc. This novel lets the reader play with that interpretation for a large portion of the book; the story questions the relationship between them, wondering repeatedly how strong, or even how genuine, their love is. Ultimately, however, the contrasting associations sets them up for their final conflict and foreshadows the eventual destruction of both of them. 

At the first sight of Lucy Gray, she is in a “dress made of a rainbow of ruffles” (24). In her first interview she says “the Covey love color” (53). The Covey are all named with colors. Lucy Gray wears bright colors at all times. The snakes which end up being drawn to Lucy Gray in the arena are bright neon colors. The colors represent her exuberance, her love of beauty, her eccentricity, her freedom to stand apart. But Coriolanus is white. The absence of color, the opposite of all that Lucy Gray loves and represents. However, this symbol for Coriolanus is not prominent in this book. In fact it only really exists in this book in the form of his last name-- Snow. Even that is not the name he goes by. But it is the name that forms his connection with the Capitol and all that it represents: Dr. Gaul calls him by his last name; the Capitol media makes frequent plays on his name; he is associated with the legacy of his family name; in the peacekeepers he is officially addressed as “Private Snow”. It’s also used as the voice of his ambition in the phrase that he and Tigris use, “Snow lands on top” (9). Eventually, when his character arc is complete and he has embraced evil, he switches to going by his last name, as the Epilogue exclusively refers to him as “Snow”. However, to fully grasp that a part of the symbolism of his name relates to the color white requires knowledge of the Hunger Games trilogy. There Snow is represented by his white roses. The roses are present in this book, but they are colored roses. Therefore, Coriolanus being symbolized by white is not a constant in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, it’s a progression. It is Coriolanus turning against what drew him to Lucy Gray. While the progression is ongoing, the decisive moment comes when Lucy Gray uses the bright orange scarf he gave her to set a trap for him (or at least so he assumes) (581). The shift is there as he is “betrayed” by Lucy Gray’s colors, and the fulfillment is present in the person of President Snow in The Hunger Games.  By knowing the trilogy, the reader knows Coriolanus’s future and can see that he eventually eschews color, choosing the stark white which here sets him apart from Lucy Gray, but will also inevitably mark the violent contrast between him and the Girl on Fire. 

The second hallmark of Lucy Gray is her love of music. Her singing is her survival. It’s how she earns her living in District 12. It’s what unites her with her family. It’s how she expresses her emotions. It’s how she attracts attention at the Reaping and how she gains enough favor to win the Games. Coriolanus does not start out opposed to music. In fact, it initially attracts him to Lucy Gray, especially since one of her songs she sings in the Capitol awakens memories of his mother and a song she sang to him that “mentioned loving him” (78). Music is associated with his mother on several occasions, and his mother is the figure who most represents love and goodness for Coriolanus. When asked how he is like his mother he replies that they “shared a fondness for music” but also internally admits to himself that “she liked music, and he didn’t hate it, he guessed” (290). Despite his positive associations with music and his connection with people who love music (his mother, Lucy Gray, and also Pluribus), Coriolanus himself does particularly like music and doesn’t really understand it. He notes that he “can’t really sing” and when he sings the anthem “his singing was more like sustained talking” (127, 129). Beyond lacking talent, it seems that music and poetry are something that he cannot grasp; all the Capitol’s songs “sounded the same to him”, and Livia Cardew mocked him for “his inability to decipher the deeper meaning of a poem” (185). This extends later into the novel when he specifically fails to grasp the meaning of Lucy Gray’s song, which he describes as “nonsense words” and “ridiculous” because he “couldn’t make sense of it” (425, 427). Coriolanus has an inability to understand something that is an essential part of Lucy Gray which represents a failure to connect to her on a deeper level. It also distances him from those characters who demonstrate positive moral character: Lucy Gray, his mother, the generous Pluribus, and Sejanus (who Coriolanus notes had “always been good at rhetoric” (427)). Livia Cardew attributes this to Coriolanus being “self-absorbed” (185). The presentation of this trait within the book represents his moral failings and his rejection of the Romanticism which defines the Covey and the philosophical rhetoric of the Rebels and Sejanus. This puts him at odds with all that the novel holds up as praiseworthy. His attitude toward music only worsens as the book progresses and he finds that he is “weary of the infusion of music into his life. Invasion might be a better word” (445). He feels the way it pushes him away from others and threatens his position. But the significance of the music does not stop with the concept in general. 

The novel features the lyrics of multiple songs. Lucy Gray’s ballad is notable for the way it describes her mystery, how it shows Coriolanus’s failure to truly understand or appreciate her, and how it foreshadows his hand in her destruction. However, as he brings about her destruction, she has a hand in his eventual destruction. Lucy Gray is revealed to be the writer of the two songs from the Hunger Games trilogy-- “Deep in the Meadow” (“Rue’s Song”) and “The Hanging Tree”. “Deep in the Meadow” has less prominence in this book. The context is essentially the same-- Lucy Gray sings it as a lullaby to Maude Ivory in the same way that Katniss sings it to Prim and Rue-- so it carries the same weight initially. It is a symbol of peace and comfort and love. These are things which are mostly denied to Coriolanus and things which he rejects by the end of The Ballad, and actively seeks to destroy in The Hunger Games. However, it is eventually used against him, as Katniss’s use of the song-- her gesture of love for Rue-- is what causes the first sparks of rebellion to rise up in District 11. “The Hanging Tree” plays this role to an even greater extent. Lucy Gray writes the song about a moment that Coriolanus is present for and deeply disturbed by (350-351). The song is, on one level, about doomed lovers. Within the song you have Arlo and Lil-- two Rebels whose fate is mourned and romanticized, and whose doom Coriolanus has a hand in, already casting him in the role of antagonist. However, there’s also the speaker in the song. At one point in the narrative, the speaker is Billy Taupe calling to Lucy Gray. With him in the role of speaker the love story of the song is poisonous-- when they can’t be free together, Billy Taupe wants her to die rather than be free without him (487). After his death, the song transfers to be a call from Lucy Gray to Coriolanus. However, his character is entirely antithetical to the song. He rejects the dark romanticism that makes star-crossed lovers appealing, and rather than being willing to “wear a necklace of rope side by side with” Lucy Gray, he tries to kill her, betraying her and everything she and the song stand for. The song could also be applied to another pair of star-crossed lovers-- Katniss and Peeta. In their Games, Peeta tried to save her life-- “called out for his love to flee”-- then they try to survive together-- “I told you to run, so we’d both be free”-- and when that hope is lost they are prepared to die together-- “wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me”-- in order to deny the Capitol its victory and its ownership over them. Despite being the only couple without a literal connection to the Hanging Tree (and being a fake couple at the time of their actions) Katniss and Peeta most truly embody the spirit of the song, which Lucy Gray calls “too rebellious” (491). The song is meaningful on a broader level because it subverts the symbol of the Hanging Tree, which is meant to be an instrument for the Capitol’s control, and turns into a symbol of love and hope for freedom and resistance that would rather die than submit to the Capitol. Katniss later takes this song and transforms it into an anthem for the rebellion. In fact, it’s compared by Lucy Gray and Coriolanus to the Capitol’s anthem, saying it “has authority” like “when [Coriolanus] sang the anthem in the Capitol” (491). Katniss gives it the platform to be the rival anthem that it was destined to be, and she uses it to attack Snow. Lucy Gray haunts Coriolanus through the Hunger Games trilogy through her songs. These songs which are all that remains of the girl he betrayed and destroyed, come back as weapons against him, brandished as symbols of all that he and his tyranny stand against. 

Beyond her general association with music, Lucy Gray is associated with birds. Her musical nature makes her a songbird like that of the title and her family is deemed “the Covey”-- covey is a word which means “a small party or flock of birds”. The way she is continually conscious of her appearance early in her time in the Capitol evokes a bird preening, as the ruffles of her brightly colored dress evoke feathers. Coriolanus ends up dealing with birds through his work as a peacekeeper, rounding up jabberjays and mockingjays. While his team member shows an affinity for birds, Coriolanus does not. He specifically notes that while some people “just understand birds” he is certain “that he would never be one of those people” (413). In an immediate sense, this once again signals a distance between him and Lucy Gray. She is a bird that he can never understand. In contrast, Lucy Gray has an affinity for snakes. The clearest counterpart for snakes is Coriolanus himself. His use of poison in this book and the Hunger Games trilogy creates the suggestion that he is venomous (especially when the evidence of his poisoning is found in the sores in his mouth). Dr. Gaul also breeds deadly snakes in the same way that she grooms Coriolanus into the man he becomes. Her snakes ignore him as if he is one of them. And Lucy Gray “always knows where [snakes] will be” (433). She uses her understanding of snakes to her advantage, dropping one down Mayfair’s dress, leaving one as a trap for Coriolanus, and poisoning Treech with one. The snakes in the Games end up drawn to her and soothed by her singing. Coriolanus is drawn to her and her singing in the same way, and likewise is used by her to win the Games. Lucy Gray seems to understand Coriolanus in a way that he can never understand her. However, she may have confused him for one of the non-venomous snakes from District 12, rather than a snake specifically bred to kill by Dr. Gaul. Or perhaps she subconsciously knows the truth about him since she states, “I love all kinds of things I don’t trust… snakes. Sometimes I think I love them because I can’t trust them” (441). Regardless of how his role of a snake attracts Lucy Gray, her role as a bird creates tension with Coriolanus. The wildness of the birds unsettles him. He expresses the belief that they’d be happier in a cage, but both Bug and Lucy Gray believe the birds should be free (418, 421). It reflects Coriolanus’s relationship with nature in general. It cannot be controlled and so he dislikes it. When he first sees the woods he is afraid of them; “the disorder alone felt disturbing” (348). This is a stark contrast to both Lucy Gray, who frequents the woods with the Covey, and Katniss who thrives in the woods. In similar fashion, the plant that Katniss is named for, and which aids in Lucy Gray’s survival (435, 497) grows wild, while Coriolanus’s signature flower, his roses, are domesticated and highly cultivated. Coriolanus likes only what he can control. It’s when he realizes that he cannot control Lucy Gray that he turns on her. This distinction takes on further relevance in his specific response to the jabberjays and the mockingjays

Coriolanus appreciates the jabberjays because they can be controlled easily with a simple remote control. Mockingjays, however, represent the uncontrollable. His reaction to them is immediate: “he’d spotted his first mockingjay, and he disliked the thing on sight” (352). Later he advocates killing all the mockingjays because “they’re unnatural” and “he distrusted their spontaneous creation. Nature running amok” (417). Lucy Gray on the other hand loves the mockingjays. When the mockingjays take up her song “the Covey were all smiles” and Tam Amber asserts “like sandstones to diamonds, that’s what we are to them” (439). Here Coriolanus expresses that what he fears most is that the mockingjays have removed “the Capitol birds from the equation” (439). He deeply believes in the need for the Capitol to maintain control, so something that openly flouts the need for the Capitol’s influence is both frightening and a threat to the beliefs that define him. Coriolanus eventually uses the jabberjays (a symbol of Capitol control) to betray Sejanus. In return, Lucy Gray uses the mockingjays to protect herself from Coriolanus as he hunts her (504). If she survived the encounter, it is because of the mockingjays. With his transformation into Snow complete, he is able to return to the Capitol. When he looks back on his time in District 12, he views Lucy Gray not as a lost love but as a conquered threat. Because Lucy Gray was someone he could not control he repaints her in his memory as someone who manipulated him and made him feel jealous and weak (516). But with his new power Snow is assured that “she and her mockingjays could never harm him again” (516). The memories have been twisted to associate Lucy Gray with mockingjays and in turn with harm done to him, though neither has ever actually harmed him. However, knowledge of the Hunger Games trilogy reveals the clear irony of his statement. Katniss uses the mockingjays to help her in the Games and makes them a tool for herself. They then become a symbol of the rebellion for the very reason that he initially hated them. Katniss comes to embody the things that mockingjay symbolizes and she and that symbol are the rallying point for the rebellion. Because of the Mockingjay that he can never predict, understand or control, everything Snow is and has built is destroyed. 

Lucy Gray is a vibrant character that tempts Coriolanus toward a better life and a better way of being. Everything about her symbolizes a potential for good within him in his early years. However, he fully and irrevocably rejects that good. In doing so he commits his first great sin and destroys Lucy Gray. But he is unable to entirely destroy her. In fact, he’s never even sure if he killed her. Instead, she stays on as a ghost girl, her influence haunting District 12. From her influence rises Katniss, the Girl on Fire, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of the songbird Snow killed. Katniss is symbolically linked to Lucy Gray, but at the same time wholly distinct. Through her, Lucy Gray haunts Snow as punishment for his crimes. This link between the Songbird and the Mockingjay represents the way that Snow’s evil paved the way for his own destruction, but more importantly it shows that the things which he rejects and opposes and tries to kill cannot be destroyed. The spark of hope cannot be put out, beauty will not be tamed, and rebellion cannot stay dead in the face of tyranny. Those things were always destined to destroy him. Though The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes may end with “Snow lands on top,” Lucy Gray is the persistent reminder that “The show’s not over until the mockingjay sings.” 

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

VLD S8 – The Purpose of Lance’s Altean Markings, Allura’s Canonically Inconsistent “Death,” and Voltron’s Mysterious Interstellar Road Trip in the End: Are Things Really As They Seem?

Hello dear ones, I received asks to follow up on my previous post about Allura’s capability to live a very long life if she hadn’t died in s8. I’d mentioned in this post that Alfor had connected Allura’s life force to the indestructible Voltron, and that this had significant implications for Lance’s strange Altean marks and Allura’s “death” in s8. So this is me, attempting to follow up on those requests! 

Let’s start with those strange marks. It seems like a lot of us who have watched Voltron: Legendary Defender season 8 scratched our heads over Lance receiving Altean marks at all:

This event happens when Allura and the paladins are standing in the “connected consciousness of all existence”—which is this…Mother-Brain realm for every consciousness that ever existed ever. Allura is preparing to sacrifice herself alongside Honerva, because they both have to give of their energy to regenerate the fallen multiverse. Honerva is already accepting of this and already interacting with her dead family whose minds and forms are preserved within the Mother-Brain space. It seems, even so, Honerva is still alive because she hasn’t yet completed the foretold Wild Sacrifice Move of Ultimate Alchemy alongside Allura: 

The Big Boom of Life happens after this point, so there’s something fascinatingly screwy about this realm. The typical separations between the Living and the Death are just…totally meaningless. We’re actively seeing a living Honerva physically interact with the minds and forms of her fallen son and husband. And if this Mother-Brain location truly preserves the consciousness of all existence, then I suppose it actually makes sense to me that Allura and Honerva could still be alive themselves while also being able to interact with the Dead who are preserved within this realm…

But Allura—she turns to the paladins and tells them that they’re all about to experience a massive fragmentation from her. It seems pretty heavily suggested that she’s going to die. In doing so, she kisses Lance and then gives him Altean marks: 

And the first question I have is….whyyyy the marks? What the heck was that for? Because I think it’s really weird that she’d just give Lance the most visually identifying mark for her own species. At least, I think it’s weird on the surface. The more important question may lie within Allura’s motives...and that gets into some much larger implications for ways to view those marks and the show’s ending. Some of the theories I’ve seen about those marks:

Theory 1: Lance as Trans-Species to Preserve Allura’s Species and/or Allura Giving Lance Some Unknown Gift/Power

I want to bring this up because it appears to be a largely accepted theory that I’m now heavily questioning. I’m not sure who first vocalized this understanding of canon, but Neko Chicana offers the theory in their Youtube video “Why did Lance get Altean markings!?” The theory is that in Allura’s last-minute panic about dying, she was trying to ensure The Chosen Altean vibes got passed down. This would mean that Allura infused Lance with deep Altean powers to inherently change him from being human into being a trans-species human/Altean.

But I struggle with this interpretation, because…she already had an entire colony of Alteans, many of whom clearly were presenting with high quintessence sensitivity and would have been even potentially fit for Oriande. And it’s not like Lance was going to know how to apply alchemy without learning it anyway.

In terms of the transformation itself, it’s incredibly superficial. It’s a face-lift and that’s it, as Lance never exhibits any other features of a standard Altean. And not just from a visual perspective, but also from a physiological one. He definitely is not shown suddenly freaking out over having alchemy powers. He isn’t shown connecting with anything on the astral plane. I would even posit that he appears to be aging right alongside his fellow humans, given his more adult/less baby-face facial structure in the epilogue, just like everyone else:

This article here seems to contain a similar level of skepticism about a genuinely trans-species Lance. 

And what would even be the point of converting Lance to have a token visage of Alteans, if Allura knows that his true heart and soul lies with his human family? Just by Allura’s reaction of disgust to his rounded ears in season 1, it seems pretty obvious that other Alteans would see him as “other.” If anything, a trans-species interpretation overly complicates the show here and generally can’t provide a self-contained, meaningful reason for its existence at all. 

Theory Two: The Markings as a Token of a Lost Lover/Remembrances

Another suggestion has been that Allura gives Lance such markings just as…a reminder? Of herself? But I don’t feel this at all makes sense with seven previous seasons of her character behavior.

Allura is shown consistently trying to sacrifice herself and her things at all costs, without anything in return or demanding that people remember her. She did it in season 1 to regenerate a Balmera, knowing full well she could die. But we don’t see her asking Coran to sing a pretty song for her. She sacrifices herself again for Shiro, by tossing him out of the way of Galran soldiers, without even begging that he come back for her. She sacrifices herself in Oriande to the White Lion. She sacrifices her crown in season 7 to stabilize Shiro. She even gives up her dresses and her station as a princess in order to better fit in with the humans in season 7. It’s not inherent in Allura’s character to demand anything in return for her sacrifices, much less that she be remembered for them. As a matter of fact, she’s very particular about ensuring that other people get recognized for their actions, and she’ll often place her own good work as part of a “whole” accomplished by the many. Here’s an example from season 6, episode 1:

So here we see her raising up other people and their contributions rather than demanding some offering or worship for her actions.

Princess Allura doesn’t even hold a grudge for Keith being accepted as Black Paladin or Lance as Red Paladin in s3, despite the fact that she secretly cried over it.

So, Allura wanting anything in return for what she sacrifices, or trying to intentionally drag down someone’s spirit for her own comfort, is not inherent to her character. If anything in s8, Allura consistently seems to want the paladins to move on without her:

In response to the emotional distress of the other paladins, she doesn’t give them an everlasting token to memorialize herself, but instead gives encouragement for the future:

And even Shiro! He warns her that she’s about to become the multiverse’s most anonymous hero:

And Allura’s response to this?

So Princess Allura went into this s8 self-sacrifice, fully expecting that the paladins would keep her actions totally secret. She was completely and utterly prepared to accept the very reality that Lotor had threatened her with in season 6:

So literally the only reason in s8 that anyone remembers Princess Allura…is because the paladins choose to honor her memory despite her stated sentiments against it:

So…all of this is to say, I don’t think it makes sense to assume that suddenly, Allura would want to forever keep Lance from moving on. She’s literally handed them her blessing to move on, and suggested that they even hide what she’s done. It’s the paladins who choose to remember her. So I think there’s a lot of evidence to suggest against an interpretation where Allura was intentionally trying to mark Lance to be her forever-doomed lost love. It’s completely inconsistent with other surrounding details about who Allura is.

I think there’s instead evidence to suggest a new theory about these marks. And if anyone’s suggested this before, please feel free to jump in, lol. I’m like, 1.5 years behind the times here, although I did find this article that also would seem to support the theory: 

Theory Three: Lance’s Altean Marks as a Tactical Homing/Location Beacon, Strengthened by His and Allura’s Shared Bonds With Blue Lion

Before she casually walks off to her alleged death, Allura tells Lance, “I’ll always be with you.” And then she gives him the Altean marks:

While I think this “I’ll always be with you” statement has some classic lessen the hurt of impending death vibes, Allura herself actually states she’ll always be with him. How certain are we that she’s not being actually serious? That this isn’t an intentional decision to ensure some kind of ongoing link?

So backing up here, we know from previous seasons that Altean markings can glow, unlike the rest of their body. They appear to glow in response to external stimuli. For example, in season 5, Allura and Lotor’s markings glow because they are within the vicinity of Oriande and have a deep well of quintessence within them. And this glowy activity is discriminatory, because Coran’s marks don’t glow:

Lance’s own markings initially glow when activated by Allura:

So for Lance’s markings to glow at all, that means something is happening. It means that an all-new, external stimulus is making those markings react, and that the magic of it is active. And that Lance is now housing enough magic to react.

That article I linked to earlier suggests that perhaps Allura intended to use the marks as….a communicative link with Lance. However, in a full year since Allura’s disappearance, we see no evidence that Lance has been talking to a mysterious spirit!Allura. He seems pretty depressed, and everyone seems largely accepting of the concept that Allura is dead and also is incapable of interaction.

In which case, if you did have a link to a supposedly dead person, even if you wanted to keep it secret, wouldn’t you at least look a little more…happy? That they’re not actually gone? So something’s a little screwy there too, that makes me think Lance wasn’t in some kind of interdimensional communication with Allura.

But I do think Lance’s markings, and how they glow in response to external power sources in the final episode, suggest something about Allura’s state of being.

So let’s jump in. We know that Allura’s life force is inherently tied to Voltron:

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post of mine: Right in season 1, episode 1, Coran admits that Alfor has done some pretty wild alchemy. He physically connected Allura’s essence with the essence of Voltron—the single source of self-regenerating, infinite quintessence throughout the whole of the entire universe.

I don’t know if a person’s life force being personally connected to Voltron would confer physical immortality, but I do think there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that as long as Voltron exists, Allura’s essence would be preserved within it. And as we saw in season 6, Shiro was capable of interacting with other paladins despite his physical death, because Black Lion had preserved his essence….

All of this backstory and worldbuilding means at the very least that Allura was also capable of linking some part of her quintessence to Lance as well. And that, even if she hypothetically didn’t have a body on the material plane, that she would be very active on the astral one.

So why specifically Altean marks, then?

This isn’t the first time in the show that strangely powerful bonds have been made by the touching of faces and the transfer of energy around Altean marks. As a matter of fact, we might have even seen Alfor actively bind Allura’s life-force with Voltron, right here:

In which case, Allura was simply mimicking the work of her father as she knew it, but on a much smaller scale. Because she knew from her father that it was possible to bond life-forces, and for some reason, that alchemy trick appears to involve the face or else something to do with Altean markings.

So therefore, the activation of this marking “link” and alchemical bond might help to explain why Lance actually appears to be smiling with tears in his eyes when the Voltron lions fly away:

But why even Lance specifically?? What about all the other paladins she’s made connections? What makes Lance so totally special?

It might not be unintentional that, out of all the lions possible, the one to respond to some unknown activator one year later—with massive amounts of quintessence in the bond—is Blue Lion.

Notice that while the other lions are in flight, none of them are glowing like Blue Lion. There’s something inherently special about Blue Lion right now, especially given that it’s not even the leader of the pack.

In this scene, we see the paladins rushing out per all the ruckus. Lance’s markings start to glow:

And then the lions powerfully surge off on their merry, totally unexplained way:

So…in looking back at this, it’s interesting that Lance’s marks are shown glowing in ONLY two instances: 1) When Allura first activates them, and 2) When the marks themselves mysterious activate again in response to Blue Lion glowing outrageously blue, and the lions soaring off into space as well…

Is it a mistake that Lance just so happens to be the only other living Blue Paladin in the universe?

Allura’s life force might have been connected to the full of Voltron, but season 3 shows that her communicative/mental connection to it is through Blue Lion alone. Because Black Lion certainly had nothing to say to her, at the very least.

So Allura’s life force is connected to Voltron…Blue Lion responds to an unknown source of massive, pure quintessence, and then Voltron follows…Lance’s markings start to glow....

Could it be that in order to even re-locate Voltron and the paladins again in the larger scheme of the multiverse, Allura needed Lance’s connection to Blue Lion as well? To keep Allura in spiritual/mental communion with Voltron and with that universe?

With Allura gone and the Atlas portion of Voltron totally missing from Voltron, there’s the hint that possibly the Lion Musical Chairs event has undone itself and reconfigured once more. Blue Lion has re-accepted Lance, with Keith and Shiro piloting Red and Black. The lineup in the screenshot below would suggest that Shiro’s the one in Red this time, resulting in an interesting addition to the Keith and Shiro relationship arc. It suggests that Shiro is now back on the team as an established paladin, as the right hand of the Black Paladin, and is actively supporting Keith’s ongoing growth as a leader:

But if Blue Lion were Allura’s only true connection to “speak” with and interact with Voltron on a material plane, then it would make sense that she would intentionally connect her own life-force to the last Blue Paladin.

Lance, out of all of the paladins and with respect to this lineup shown here, is the only one who would be even remotely capable of ensuring this link in their universe (notwithstanding as well that canonically, Allura was in a romantic relationship with him, which might have something to do with this too, idk).

So what does this mean for Allura’s state of being? What’s exactly happening in this moment? Why do the lions leave their paladins? Is everything truly so pointless and nihilistic?

So Lance’s markings and the exit of the Voltron lions result in what I feel are two interpretations of the entire end of Voltron. And I think one is potentially more consistent with the overall show than the other:

Theory One: Allura Really Died/Shed Her Physical Body/Was Lost to the Material Plane After a Year of Hard Work

So, we do have evidence that the work to restore the full of the multiverse began pretty quickly, and that there was an explosive event to jumpstart it:

We otherwise have no evidence to support that this image meant the work (to restore every thread and all things within the threads) was DONE. Yet. It may have taken an entire year to regenerate the multiverse, which would explain the Voltron lions suddenly reacting strangely after that span of time. If we assume that Allura really died, then this would suggest that—with the overarching multiverses finally totally restored—her energy is spent up. She’s physically dying. And per the extinguishing of her own life force, Voltron….somehow can’t exist on the material plane without her? Because let’s not forget, the whole mecha is connected to her life force. So this interpretation would suggest that in her dying/being unable to remain on the material plane, Voltron itself has to die as well. This could explain why at the end here, they activate to go be with Allura and team in the shiny afterlife party in the Mother-Brain dimension. Lance may be crying here because he feels or recognizes the last of Allura’s energy slipping away. And it’s possible I was misinterpreting his smile earlier, because it’s, idk, maybe a sob.

And there does seem to be some canon support for a potentially permanent break between Allura and the material plane, as well as for why Voltron would leave:

But I’m really struggling to understand the deathy interpretation of these events at the end of s8, from SEVERAL angles, haha.

Strike One:

This scene would appear to blatantly and outrageously contradict previous show worldbuilding. To accept a “death” interpretation, one must also accept that s8 completely rewrites the inherent properties and behavior of quintessence, as well as show details that Alteans/Altean technologies more consistently function as conduits/capacitors of external energy sources rather than as massive batteries by themselves. The true batteries, even into season 7 with Shiro and Atlas, appear to be becoming from sources external to the power-wielder. This reality largely relieves the personal cost of any alchemical action/draining oneself, just so long as you have a powerful enough battery. In which case, given the resources and deep knowledge available to Allura and Honerva even in this apocalyptic moment, any action resulting in physical death feels...unearned.

If you’re interested in more specifically about this, I have a few other posts looking at these basic worldbuilding details:

Question on Quintessence and General Worldbuilding in     VLD S8

The Search for the “Bluest Quintessence” and S6 - The Most     Unnecessary Conspiracy In VLD?

It’s entirely possible I could be missing some information that would reconcile the s8 worldbuilding contradictions about quintessence and Altean energy back to the previous seven seasons. I suppose it’s possible that this s8 regeneration trick resulted in Allura and Honerva being physically unable to handle the amount of power they were conducting. But just after casually re-watching the show, I heavily question whether this is possible or consistent with everything else, haha.

Strike Two:

The concept of Voltron not being needed in a peaceful universe is nonsensical. So this show is telling me that a gigantic mecha capable of massive construction projects and space anomaly protection services couldn’t reorganize its paladins or get new ones, and transition to a new day job? Because Voltron has to exist in a combat theater only? This is wildly myopic, especially considering that Voltron already has a team of five who could pilot it again via a little game of musical chairs…and even the final lineup shown would suggest that Shiro had already taken over Red. I guess if the Galra aren’t attacking?? This must mean that there won’t be any civilizations in need of help or in need of being protected from imminent natural disasters?? At the very least, a new day job would be an incredibly meaningful way to convert Voltron from a war machine to a champion of the people. And it would still give the paladins a reason to come back together as a team and to exercise the bonds they’ve forged together as defenders of the universe.

Strike Three:

After this s8 scene, and even assuming Allura has physically died, Voltron existed before Allura got linked to it. And it existed as a largely infinite and indestructible source of energy. Even if Allura did die, the loss of her personal quintessence was of no account to its existence. The worldbuilding of Voltron as a mecha suggests it didn’t need her to continue existing on the material plane like it had existed before their alchemical link from Alfor. And even if she’d died, taking Voltron’s life-force with her away from the material plane, then why in the world wouldn’t Voltron just…totally power down? Become completely inert with the lights fading from its eyes? But then, oh wait, according to the last seven seasons, Voltron is supposed to be indestructible and constantly self-regenerating even when temporarily drained, so how could it power down forever? Even the concept that Voltron could physically destroy/remove itself from the material world to fully join Allura on the astral plane is an oxymoron.

And even if Allura’s life force was fading out and the Voltron lions are dying too, how in the world could Lance’s Altean markings suddenly even manage to glow in response to an active and powerful external stimulus? And why would the lions themselves suddenly be lighting up and capable of expending massive amounts of energy on a sudden, random interstellar space trip?

Even if the Lions themselves longed to reunite with its dead creator or its missing piece per their Allurian life-force link (despite them clearly not caring when Alfor died or when Allura got put in stasis 10k years ago), this show would have me believe that Voltron wanted to die or give up? And...for what? To lounge about in an afterlife Cabana for Retired Mechas, sipping quintessence drinks while the universe experiences ongoing natural physical disasters or anomalies that could endanger entire galaxies? What if more trans-reality comets fell from the sky? They appear to not be an isolated incident, and where there’s one, there’s usually more…What if that causes more rifts to open? And let’s just assume for a moment that those two comets are the only two trans-reality comets in the multiverse. I guess we can all sleep tight tonight because Voltron is unconcerned that the universe still has several weak stitches between it and the quintessence field, where dark entities and rift creatures roam? Lol, what?

Lotor even confirms these weaknesses in season 4:

“Zarkon believed Alfor’s plan to blow up Daibazaal and destroy the rift between realities actually worked. No one comprehended that the experiments of my mother, Honerva, could never be undone.”

Lotor’s statement here would suggest that after everything that’s happened, it might be even easier to break open rifts. But okay cool, time for Voltron’s retirement/death, I guess. Just leave a peaceful universe to be one day swallowed up and destroyed by shadow rift creatures, dark entities, apocalyptic comets, and natural disasters…

Everything about the Allura/Voltron death theory doesn’t make sense to me and raises more questions than answers. So let’s look at another way of viewing this ending!

Theory Two: Allura Didn’t Die At All—She Just Finished Working for the Year And Needs a Ride Home

The fact that Voltron survives and is activated into movement by an external source of massive, pure quintessence suggests that Allura is likely NOT dead and is STILL ALIVE. In this case, the astronomical undertaking of regenerating a multiverse still took a full year to complete. We do know there’s no major time slippage between the paladin’s universe and the Universal Consciousness realm, because the paladins were seen right back in the heart of establishing/confirming peace when they returned to their universe. And again, s8 also shows people being able to interact on the border between the Living and the Dead, so Allura simply existing within this realm should not be enough to kill her. Because life and death are largely meaningless concepts in this space where all consciousnesses are preserved.

So, if Allura is alive and just finished her work, then oop, now she’s stuck in the middle of Space Nowhere without a certain ride home. So who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters. Voltron is the only ship that Allura has a deep psychical and life-force link to, so it would be within canonical bounds that if she just helped resurrect the multiverse, then surely one hard-working princess could use Lance’s markings (her own life force) to relocate her own universe, and then use that bond on the material plane to call Voltron from across the universe to come pick her up, lol.

I really like this re-interpretation of canon for several reasons:

One, it feels a lot more consistent with the world-building and the overall tone of the show.

Two, it suggests a much happier ending where canon confirms—sort of like the Iron Giant (1999) ending—that Allura would eventually reunite on the material plane with the paladins.

Three, it suggests that there’s been a full one-year span of time where Allura and Honerva were both working together to restore the universe…while in the presence of and even interacting with Alfor, Zarkon, and Lotor, and probably a billion other dead people they thought were gone forever, but who were preserved in form and mind within the Consciousness of the universe. I feel like there’s just LOADs of possible content someone could get out of this. Did Honerva and Zarkon reunite? Did Alfor get to hug his baby girl again? Did Allura and Lotor have a major heart-to-heart discussion about the Altean colony and his quintessence insanity, and positively reconcile? Which, regardless of however you interpret what Lotor’s accused of, Allura had already…exonerated his motives and turned him into, like, a Joan of Arc figure well before she saw him again. And she even wanted Honerva to honor his memory by doing the right thing:

So there’s some clear signs that Allura and Lotor could have reconciled now that there’s no apparent quintessence insanity or witch shenanigans afoot... And it’s very likely that Allura might have even reconciled with the true, uncorrupted Emperor Zarkon himself:

 And in the meantime, what would the paladins of old be like? Were there other victims of this war who would have found it meaningful to interact in some way to obtain justice for themselves…or to obtain something more??

And this gets into reason four of why I like this re-interpretation of the ending. So canonically, mechas created out of the trans-reality comet are infinitely regenerating and indestructible. So not just Voltron, but also the Honervian/Sincline mecha. This suggests that Allura already had a ride home.

So why would Allura need more ships?

This interpretation has the potential to reverse all the painful deaths that happened throughout the show. The original paladins, the Alteans and Galrans who perished for various reasons...Alfor, Bandor, Lotor, Kova…even deaths we didn’t see.

And in calling Voltron back to her, is Allura maybe…planning to bring some new friends with her too? If she already has the Honervian/Sincline mecha to fly home, why does she need all five lions, anyway? Who would pilot them? Who else is waiting patiently in the celestial mind/heart of the multiverse to return to reality with her?

And reason five, on a simpler and maybe less galaxy-brain note, this interpretation provides a completely different context, however apparently sorrowful, for Allura’s canonical goodbyes:

Allura’s path did end here...at least as a paladin of Voltron. Because that position was temporary anyway. Restoring the multiverse was going to be an ultimate act. And there’s probably nothing after this that Allura could perform to outdo herself in saving things, lol. This is the height of everything she is and has worked for. She intentionally identifies this as her purpose:

“It is my purpose.”

Her action in s8 is the full and total culmination of everything she has learned and grown capable of doing since s1. Everything has been leading up to this. It’s her one chance to undo all the universal pain. And through restoring the multiverse, she’d be restoring balance in her own life too—to reconnect with her fragmented past, to give those from her past a chance to live in the new universe with her….

The other paladins, though—they were still needed in the meantime to confirm peace with the Galran empire, to convert it (however questionably) to a democracy, and to establish relations between Earth and other vast galaxies of people. Allura was not wrong that their paths as paladins had not ended. Because she needed them to ensure their universe would be truly at peace while she was up in the stars, working to restore and reconcile with all that had been lost in painful war.

And all of this would ultimately suggest that she would return to the universe, to the paladins, and probably take back the piece of her life force she’d given Lance that ensured a link with Blue Lion. Because…that homing beacon wouldn’t be needed anymore. Perhaps Allura would even consider decoupling the remainder of her life-force from Voltron, to fully reconcile herself to herself. To finally be whole and just Allura again, idk.

The only major problem with the “Allura is Alive and Bringing Some Friends/Family Home” interpretation is that...lol, the development team for the show doesn’t subscribe to it, at least not in any outward way I’ve heard. Based on their March 28, 2019 interview with Let’s Voltron, the executive producers talk about Allura like she’s dead. They say that they wanted to show sacrifice, the impact of death, and how important it is to honor the memory of the dead:

And we definitely feel it. There is a massive weight of loss and memorial in the finale here. Coran looks just this side of totally broken as he remembers Allura, and he didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. He reiterates just how much Allura means to the people still alive in this universe:

“For some of us she was a diplomat, a teacher, a leader, and a friend. But to those of us around this table, she will always be family.”

The EPs have suggested that, like other shows, there may be ways to resurrect Allura, and there may have been happier endings possible. But again, please see the Theory 1 statements above regarding the massive worldbuilding contradictions when assuming that Allura had to die in the first place.

In which case, hilariously, the EPs have also expressed their interest in creative works that keep going, with plot tensions that require even supposedly dead heroes to return, as in this article here: 

“You can kill Captain America a million times and he’ll always show back up.”

So creator statements are just all over the place regarding the finality of “death” or even of “separation” in this universe. We definitely don’t get a body to prove that Allura is dead. And we also know that canonically, there is a place where the rift between the Dead and Living breaks down. And oh, by the way, Allura just regenerated entire multiverse strands that had been destroyed. So even if it’s not as simple as…holding someone’s hand as they step out of the consciousness realm, what canonical detail or limitation would keep her from resurrecting them herself? It is well within Allura’s canonical range to bring back all of these people without dying herself. 

Conclusion

Regardless of creator intention, the various contradictions in the worldbuilding itself make the angst of Allura’s death, the memorial statue, the lingering pain of the characters (oof, poor Coran and Lance especially), and all the interviews talking about Allura’s death feel excessively unnecessary. And at the same time, I’ve been very fascinated by what one can do with the details about the Consciousness Realm; the inherent properties of comet-based mechas, quintessence, and alchemy; Lance’s strange marks; and even the odd, last-minute Voltron interstellar space trip surging toward the Allura in the stars, with Blue Lion in the lead:

It appears that Allura could be very much alive in the final screenshot of her in the stars. Through Lance and their shared connection via Blue Lion, she’s maintained a homing beacon for her own reality, activated Voltron to complete a massive interstellar trip to come get her and likely several others—and now, she’s faithfully waiting in the Consciousness Realm with everyone, preparing for a family trip back to their resurrected worlds, in their trusty mechas.

I watched s8 on the day it dropped. I was in a daze about all of its wild and painful messaging. I wrote some unhappy metas about the sheer nihilism of this show. It’s taken me, lol, 1.5 years to actually go back and re-watch several episodes at a time. And I don’t believe this interpretation of the ending would fix every problem in Voltron: Legendary Defender. Sometimes, trying to make sense of this show feels like trying to reconcile quantum theory with classical mechanics, haha. So I’m sure one could poke holes in this post. And to even arrive at these conclusions, I had to throw out or reinterpret some of the worldbuilding and scenes, in direct conflict with the stated perspective of the show’s development team.

But even so...I derived most everything for this interpretation from the show itself. And even if the development team didn’t intend this happy ending of resurrections and reconciliations as I’ve suggested…it seems that this finale—at least while I’m thinking about it right now—is canonically possible and an attempt at consistency with the material provided across multiple seasons. It offers resurrections, redemptions, reconciliations...

Its ultimate message even genuinely coincides with the last episode’s title.

The End Is the Beginning.

And I really like that.

[faejilly]

author interview

tagged by @twistedsinews tagging: anyone who wants to blame me! (also, uh... no pressure: @junemermaid @jadesabre301 @firstaudrina @fancytrinkets @laughingmagnus)

Name

jilly

Fandoms:

Shadowhunters is most active atm, but historically also BioWare (Mass Effect/Dragon age) and whatever catches my eye re: Yuletide or the occassional gifty-prompt-fill-type-thing

Where You Post:

AO3, and I try to cross-post here on tumblr and on twitter (and occasionally I even think to mention a thing in a discord server or two?)

Most Popular One-Shot:

By hits/kudos, two are halves of one

By comments/bookmarks, i cannot touch because they are too near

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

Finished (tho only about 22k words, so it’s still not really long-fic for all it’s not a one-shot either): with an if in its soul

WIP: I am for you

Favorite Story You Wrote:

fAV0riTe?!

that’s an impossible nebulous criterion wtf

uh

today I am going to pick out of some dreaming tree

Because Fairy Tales! (In tone, not specifics.)

There’s a plot! (Said plot is a quest and very straightforward, but still!)

(because a dash of speculative metaphysics!)

BECAUSE THERE’S A FOREST THAT (sometimes) EATS PEOPLE! Or Demons. And stuff?

Romance and sex magic! Flirting over weird magical investigations! (My favorite lady Cat makes tea!) It was for a BANG. It’s the only Bang-Fic I’ve ever finished! It has pretty art!

It’s a good story, y’all should give it a try. (Even if I haven’t sucked you into watching the joyfully sincere trash-fire that is Shadowhunters. It’s Very AU! It stands alone whether you know the SH canon or not!)

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

known subjects because that is a heck of a niche fic, it’s about an OC designed to fit the fusion setting (Criminal Minds’ BAU) rather than the fandom the other characters are from (Shadowhunters), it’s an outsider POV of the main ship rather than being about said ship... It is basically five steps sideways from all the things that usually attract readers but wow, am I ever so glad I wrote it and posted it anyways.

I love Fuller. I may very well stick him into my actual-Shadowhunters-canon fic as a background character some day. <3

How You Choose Your Titles:

For Malec I cruise my way through my e.e. cummings complete poems book until I find a thing I like and then I poke at it ‘til a line falls out

For everything else I reference the canon or do something relatively literal, an emotion or an event or a description of the main character. Sometimes I grab someone else’s poetry or song lyrics! (I like things besides cummings, who knew. Me. I knew.)

/I’m bad at titles, y’all. SO BAD. Sometimes I get an AO3 email and don’t recognize my own title and have to click the link to figure out what fic someone liked. I honestly have no idea why anyone ever clicks on my fic, I am not good at selling them 😅

Complete:

Uh. Published? I have 104 completed fics on AO3!

(Excluding fanmixes (because not fic!) & ficlet collections, because counting those/their chapters gets REALLY WEIRD AND EXCESSIVE VERY QUICKLY.)

In-complete:

(published, and again excluding ficlet collections because those are both always finished and yet potentially never done)

FOUR:

12 Moons is an old DA2 game prequel fic that will never ever get any more but a few people seemed to quite like so I haven’t taken it down.

Persephone Rising is a Mass Effect collaborative fic, and my two co-authors and I just cannot seem to line up for writing together again, so it probably won’t ever get any more, but you never know. Life is weird. It could happen.

Next is if broken hearts were whole, (Malec soulmarks fic!) which I am still working on but I’m not going to post again until it’s all done. (To avoid more things like those first two.)

And last is i am for you, my epistolary!fluff fic! I posted a chapter for it last week and it’s actually pretty close to the end? Should only be a couple more chapters, I just have to, you know, actually write them.

Do You Outline:

I wish. So much no.

Coming Soon / Not Yet Started:

More Clizzy post-canon fic. It appears to be turning into ficlets rather than a long-fic, but IDK, we’ll see what happens.

I also have a wing!fic that is remarkably about politics more than wings, some relationship reconciliation/Pandemonium Porn, a s3 retelling/sequel to with an if in its soul, mer!Alec sequels, priest!kink, a weird mafia/procedural/omegaverse thing that was SUPPOSED to be a sex!farce and isn’t cooperating, a Practical Magic thing I want to do for Halloween and MANY MANY Shadowhunters CODAS/FICLETS.

And maybe some day I’ll dig the Persuasion!AU or the pro-bono-porn or the sequel to out of some dreaming tree out of the archive and try them again. Or some #7kpp fic, or the Code: Realize and Scarecrow & Mrs. King epilogues I started!

My brain is full of possibilities. I don’t actually finish a lot of them though, clearly. 😳😅🙃

Do You Accept Prompts:

Yes. I may not fill them, but I am never unhappy to receive them. <3

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write

Malec Arranged Marriage AU. I did a twitter thread on why I like this particular trope, like, literally two years ago and then I tried to write it for the 3b countdown thing but realized very quickly that it was going to be MUCH TOO BIG to finish in time, and started something else (Pandemonium Porn iirc?) which also didn’t cooperate, and then I finally managed i cannot touch because they are too near instead! And now I’ve pulled the Arranged Marriage back out for the @wipbigbang​ this year so HOPEFULLY YOU WILL ALL SEE IT AT LAST IN AUGUST.

[knifehecker]

undertale day [long post]

it’s the 15th!! happy 4th birthday undertale!!! normally i try to do a little art or something but this year i decided to do something a little different. there’s a lot of content that’s become core tenets of my experience with the fandom -- changed the way i thought about the characters, how i engage with the fandom, opened my eyes to new ways of writing -- and i thought it’d be neat to compile some of those into one post to share with other people. so without further ado!!!

40-minute Deltarune Piano Medley - FaceImplosion [MUSIC]

ok, i know this is deltarune and not undertale, but this medley incorporates songs from both games so i’m gonna say it counts. and honestly, i could say a LOT about this piece!! i’ve watched and listened to a lot of ut/dr medleys, and this has to be the most lovingly crafted of its type that i’ve ever seen. Ever. a lot of care has been put into the order and combination of the songs (some funny, some sad, some mindblowing, ALL amazing) and the art is so good that every time i listen i find myself watching along. there’s a lot of easter eggs, especially for the attentive listener/watcher, and this medley deserves far more than the 6k views it’s gotten so far.

Undertale Album Project - Various Artists [MUSIC]

Songs From Mt Ebott is a collaborative album project that contains dozens of tracks from a score of different artists. i have a lot of favorite tracks from this album, not to mention the individual track art created for each, and if you’ve never heard of this project before, i really recommend giving it a listen! (FaceImplosion also did a piano track for this album, by the way, which i’m linking separately because it’s one of my aforementioned favorites.)

Chara - tigerblossom [MUSIC]

im not gonna lie. this was my favorite piece of fan music for a long time. it’s a medley mashing a few different songs together, short and sweet, but it comes together in such an incredibly heartfelt way at the end that whenever i end up listening to it i find myself wishing the track was about five minutes longer. they also have an underfell version of your best friend that i recommend giving a listen!

Photographs - FuriousPoplar [FIC]

in terms of “post-paci everyone lives au”s, there’s been a lot of ground covered by a lot of different people, and after a while the concept feels almost a bit...same-y? but this fic covers a sorely-needed conversation between an alive chara and asriel in a way that i’ve never seen approached by anyone else before. it’s cathartic, it’s extremely well written, and it doesn’t shy away from the ugly sides of trauma and recovery, which is so greatly appreciated. it also hit me...REALLY hard, which i think is a testament to how amazing this piece is.

Turn Back - foxsgloves [FIC]

i read this one pretty early on in my time in this fandom, and it’s continued to influence me long after. the premise: frisk keeps loading over the brief time asriel has his body in the epilogue, and simply spends time with him as they both prepare to move on towards the end. it’s sad. it’s cute. it’s amazing. it’s something i go back to reread sometimes late at night when i want to reread something friendly and familiar and a little sad. and its been one of my favorites ever since i read it.

You Wear Your Grief Like a Badge - Draikinator [FIC SERIES]

how do you even TALK about ywyglb? do i talk about nate’s impeccable voice in their writing? how true to character they are with the kids? how they set the scene of a post-pacifist world still shaking with the echoes of the past? the series starts with flowey taking frisk’s soul captive while chara and sans form an uneasy alliance in order to get them back, and then spirals into a tense, sweet, funny, awful, heartbreaking experience that reshaped how i viewed the boundaries of my own writing. draikinator’s writing has been and continues to be a huge inspiration to me, and i heartily recommend giving any of their stuff a try.

A Numbered List of Things That Aren't as Badass as They Sound (ex. Monsters, Suicide, Burning in Hell) - rosyy [FIC]

a brief glimpse into chara and asriel just before It Happens, While It Happens, When It Happens. the prose here is the sort of flowery delirious feverdream you’d expect from a kid dying of buttercup poisoning, and i love it to bits. i also want to mention a dr who crossover by the same author, because it has kris as the doctor and frisk as the stray they adopt, and its also the perfect antidote to the angst the first fic provides.

Risen Up (or, Of Fallen Children and Mountain Kin) - paradoxpangolin [FIC]

oh jeezums, how do i even start with this one? post-paci, frisk comes to the conclusion that the best way to ease the tensions between human and monsterkind is to put on a musical about their time in the underground!!!!.....except this leads to its own host of complications, and things get a bit Messy. this fic hasn’t updated in a bit, but it contains so much in its 140k of already published writing that i feel the need to urge you to read it anyway. i’m really partial to autistic frisks, and this fic has what’s got to be my favorite portrayal of that in ... probably the entire fandom? honestly, most (if not all) of the characters in this fic are autist, and it’s just. very good. i love.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me - batterytriplicate [FIC]

a daemon au exploring what frisk and chara’s journeys might have been like with the extra distinction between monster dust and daemon dust. i completely forgot about this fic until i was trawling through my ao3 history for this post, and i’m really really glad i found it again. i think i was in the middle of trying to figure out this exact au when i first found this fic, and it did everything i was thinking of (and more) so much better that i felt more than content leaving it at that. so if you like his dark materials and want to see a fantastic little daemon au, give this a shot!

soulless-pacifist - vsemily [ASK BLOG]

soulless-pacifist..... if you’ve never heard of this askblog, you’re in for a treat. i wasn’t with it from the very beginning, but i started reading towards the  middle of its main story arc and stuck with it to the end, and suffice it to say, it has to be my favorite fandom askblog to date, purely for how well its written, how well its drawn, and how it’s one of the....only askblogs i’ve ever seen come not only to a FULL conclusion, but to a satisfying one! the mun also worked with a programmer to create a fangame for its final arc, which is so above and beyond that im still kind of in disbelief. in short: this askblog followed frisk and their passenger after the events of a soulless pacifist route, and continues on with them as they grow together and find their place with a whole host of twist and turns in store.                also, memes.

Shine your light with me, chase all the dark away - FancifulRivers [FIC]

this au follows frisk and chara after the events of the game. unlike most post-paci runs, though, chara has their own body back, while they and frisk are hiding back in mt ebott after the monsters have left to avoid the complications of being runaways and also.... incredible guilt and trauma. things don’t really work out like that, though, and i really recommend this read. fancifulrivers has also been an incredibly prolific writer who’s uploaded a lot of really good ut fics, so this is a great starting point to jump off of for their other stuff!

repercussions - proximally [FIC]

this fic... i think this one fic is the one that’s impacted me the most during my early days of this fandom. it’s short, and sad, and is a twist on the soulless pacifist ending that i was left thinking about literally for months after i first read it. instead of saying any more and risking spoiling it, i’ll just leave the author’s desc:  “You made a mistake, and you pay for it with your life. “

The Great Boondoggle - Masu_Trout [FIC]

the premise of this fic is pretty simple. post paci, frisk is walking home. they come across a Bad Guy. hijinks ensue. but what sets apart this fic from others for me is the way frisk is written here. when this fic was published in early 2016, most frisks i came across were the...sweet harmless woobies that were pretty typical from the fandom. this is one of the first frisks i came across that was kind of mean, and a little cold, and had very obviously had a long upward climb to being the sort of person who chose mercy instead of fight. this portrayal is a lot more common nowadays, which i’m super grateful for, but since this is one of the first fics i came across that really nailed this portrayal, i felt i should leave this here. i also recommend their pokemon/ut au, which is toriel and frisk centric and i also love to bits.

and....well, i was gonna say “that’s it”, but i honestly had to cut quite a few things from this list to keep it from stretching the dash too much. there’s been a lot of incredible content created by this fandom over the years, and this is by no means a comprehensive list of my favorites. but these are some of the ones that impacted me in a really special way, and if you were kind enough to check them out and maybe even liked them, please consider leaving a kind comment for the creator! if you’re the author of one of these pieces reading this right now: thank you so much! im looking forward to finding even more favorites in this year and the next.

[pivitor]

Be the Steven You Want to See in the World

The following is the most recent installment of my email newsletter, “Do You Know What I Love the Most?” I’m really proud of this one, and wanted it out there for y’all to read. Think of it as a free sample. If you like it, please share and subscribe to the newsletter here.

The following contains spoilers for Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.

I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me

I don’t need you to love me, I love me

But I want you to know you could know me

If you change your mind

A little over one year ago, the above song capped off the final episode of Steven Universe, a series on Cartoon Network that began as an adorable little cartoon about a boy’s magical powers and eventually grew into a complex, emotionally rich saga about war, trauma, and identity — but one that remained accessible to viewers of all ages.

In the world of Steven Universe, its titular character stood alone. Steven’s father was a human, while his mother was a superpowered alien, both a rebel warrior and royalty in hiding; he was also, kinda, sorta, maybe the reincarnation of his mother? There was literally no other being in the universe quite like Steven, leaving the poor boy not only confused about just exactly who he was, but misunderstood by pretty much everyone he met, especially his alien “family” the Diamonds, the tyrannical rulers of the Gem Dynasty. The Diamonds refused to see Steven as anything other than his mother, eventually leading to them ripping his gemstone from his body in an attempt to revive his mother, something that could have potentially killed Steven.

Instead, though, it just revealed what viewers always knew — Steven was simply Steven, and nothing more. That revelation shattered the Diamonds’ worldview and their stranglehold on the galaxy. Steven saved the universe, but his most important victory was finally learning to love and respect himself, just as he was. Someday maybe the Diamonds would come to understand him, to see everything he has to offer simply by being himself, but if they never did, that’s okay. Steven already has the love and respect he needs without them.

It’s a sentiment that rang true for many of Steven Universe’s fans. Steven as a character, and his unique place in the universe, had always connected with many different varieties of viewers. Bi or muti-racial fans saw themselves in the way Steven was never fully at home in either Gem or human society, and queer viewers could appreciate the way that so many of Steven’s most prominent and praised qualities were ones that are traditionally viewed as feminine (as well as all the show’s more explicit pro-LGBTQ+ messages). All of them could likely find some solace in the ideas expressed in “Change Your Mind.”

I know I have. My relationship with my family is…okay. For now. I love my family dearly, we get along most of the time, and quite often even have a lot of fun just being in each other’s company, but I know there are parts of me that they’ll never be able to accept or understand. I’ve had to build a lot of walls between myself and them just to reach this tenuous equilibrium, and quite frankly, it hurts that they’ll never actually fully know who I am as a human being. When it seems overwhelming, I often think of Steven’s song. I can’t make them accept me. All I can do is love and respect myself, and be here if they ever change their minds.

If that was the end of Steven Universe’s world it would have been a fine legacy, but thankfully, the series continued on in the form of Steven Universe: The Movie and Steven Universe Future. The movie skipped ahead two years from the end of Steven Universe and, with a new villain, teased the “further adventures of Steven Universe,” but the limited series Future ended up being more of an epilogue to the original. Sure, there were a few enemies to fight, but they were largely loose threads Steven Universe left dangling. The real antagonist of Steven Universe Future ended up being Steven himself — or, more specifically, his trauma, insecurities, and sense of self.

In the original series’ extended theme song, each member of the main cast gets a chance to proclaim why they fight, and Steven’s is “I will fight to be everything that everybody wants me to be when I’m grown.” That’s always felt fairly ominous to me; that’s a Steven who doesn’t have a sense of self, of who he wants to be, who’s been devoured by his supposed duties and put aside his own emotions and concerns to make sure that everybody else is okay. Maybe that was sustainable in a time of war, but in the peaceful status quo of Future, these qualities come home to roost. Without people to help, without a world to save, who even is Steven Universe? What does he want his life to be? Steven doesn’t even begin to know how to look for answers, and is even less equipped to ask for help. He flounders more and more until he eventually breaks down.

Again, that’s something that myself and many other viewers can closely relate to. Like Steven, I was a “gifted” and sensitive child who was expected to excel, and hated to hurt people’s feelings so much that I chose to ignore my own feelings instead in order to please others. I was essentially a preacher’s son, expected to be a role model; to be anything else would be unthinkable and unacceptable. And as I got older and started to realize how different I was from everybody else, I had to protect myself by being somebody I wasn’t. I started to see myself as the problem, and tried to solve everybody else’s problems so that nobody would notice my own.

Both Steven and I tried to hide our mistakes so that our friends and family would never think poorly of us, would never know what we’d done wrong, so that we could always live up to the image of us people had in their minds. Living like that, though, means that you never learn from your mistakes, that you never get help and never grow, because you’re more concerned about hiding your mistakes than understanding why they happened and how to change them. Thankfully, Steven came to that realization much earlier in life than I did, but instead of reaching out for help, he just internalizes the mistake, blaming himself and condemning himself as a monster.

And when you think you’re a monster, you become a monster.

For most people, that’s a metaphor. In middle school, when I realized my wit gave me power, my pain caused me to lash out and briefly become a bit of a bully myself (after the second or third time I got beat up I grew out of it). Steven’s magical powers often cause things to be a bit more literal for him, though. While most gems can shapeshift on command, Stephen’s appearance has always been closely linked to his emotions; in one early episode, when Steven starts to “feel old” his body literally starts growing older and older until he almost dies of old age. Thus, when Steven starts to think of himself as a monster, he literally grows into a pink, horned, centipede-esque monster the size of a mountain.

Steven’s friends want to help — rightfully, they’re terrified for him, not of him — but their responses are also a little self-centered, albeit unintentionally so; they almost get into a contest, a game of “who hurt Steven more?” as they all blame themselves. It takes Steven’s best friend (and love), Connie, to get them to stop wallowing in self-pity and put Steven first. That shouldn’t be a surprise — while the rest of the cast has always protected Steven physically, they’ve also depended on him emotionally. From the very beginning of their relationship, though, Connie has been Steven’s greatest confidant. She forced Steven to open up to her when he stupidly tried to push her out of his life, and she’s been the only person who has consistently put Steven ahead of herself — sometimes to a fault — as Steven’s done for everyone else. And with her help, everybody Steven loves realizes that the way to save him isn’t by fighting him, but just by being there for him.

They embrace the monster-Steven in a massive group hug. They share with him all the ways Steven’s helped them, and help him realize that those same experiences allow them to relate to what Steven’s going through as well. Steven expected fear, shock, condemnation, and instead got understanding, love, and compassion, and shrinks back to himself, openly weeping in the arms of his friends and family. It’s his first step towards recovery.

It’s hard to understate how important this kind of support can be. I can think of multiple points in my life where just having people willing to be there for me moved me to tears. Knowing that there are people who will support you in matters great or tiny if only you actually bother to ask, to make yourself known to them, is powerful. Steven’s friends understood him more than he ever thought possible, and the same has proved true for me. Many times I’ve shared my past expecting to be judged or looked down on and instead only found understanding and compassion, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that kind of support has changed my life. And it changed Steven’s too.

Last weekend’s final episode of Steven Universe Future — the epilogue to the epilogue — still had a lesson or two left to impart. After a few months of therapy and help from those he loves, Steven decides to leave his home and strike out on his own so he can discover who he truly wants to be. There’s some sob-worthy goodbyes, but the major theme of the episode is that change is healthy and inevitable, and that people who love you will always be in your life no matter where you are.

It’s not necessarily a very original lesson, but it’s a vital one nonetheless. As I make (coronavirus-delayed) plans to move ahead into a new era of my own life, I can’t help but to find comfort in watching Steven do the same. Vitally, this final episode also provides a road-map to living in a post Steven Universe world. I’m losing one of my favorite shows, but I’ll always be able to revisit it, and the lessons I’ve learned will always be a part of me.

Perhaps the most important message of all, though, comes when Steven says goodbye to Peridot, a character who started out an enemy, but — through much effort from Steven — eventually became one of his closest friends and allies. As a sobbing Peridot laments that she’ll never find “another Steven” like this one, Steven tells her, “be the Steven you want to see in the world.”

If we carry any one lesson away from Steven Universe, I think it should be that one. Be the “Steven” who believes in love, in compassion and redemption, in helping those who need it, but also be the Steven who is honest about their limitations and shortcomings and allows others to help them and be there for them when they need it. In times like this, we all need that more than ever.

[androidsfighting]

The Adventure Zone fic rec masterlist!

surprising no one, I read WAY TOO MUCH FIC so here’s an incomplete list of some of my fav fics in this fandom! mostly Taakitz and Taagnus, of course. Not in any particular order - adding most recent additions to the top. i made an effort to provide commentary but as you can see i gave up quickly

UPDATE (7/24/19) - added a bunch more fics i’ve read recently, and a couple amnesty fics at the bottom :)

Taakitz

The Winter Prince by tactfulGnostalgic

Taako is nobody’s saboteur. He’s just an ordinary assassin just trying to make ends meet, staying out of trouble (mostly) and keeping his nose clean (sometimes). But when a mysterious buyer makes him an offer he can’t refuse in exchange for the head of the neighboring prince, he ends up falling headfirst into the tangle of a foreign court — and the arms of its ruler, Prince Kravitz.

Blood and Bones and Photos by Evitcani

Kravitz has always dreamed of cities: wrapped in vines, streets peaceful and empty. He never knew the world before the end. Still, life goes on and on and on. The homes he's known are in compounds of chain-link fences patrolled by armed guards, feral zombies creeping around the edges who sing to him in the unsettled night.

There is no cure. There is no hope. There is only what little the survivors scraped together.

Then there's Taako.

And the new world that Kravitz was born into ends too.

Wrong Number by argentoswan

Taako texts a wrong number. Kravitz responds. Everyone else is confused, but they're going with it.

(6:32) so we have moved from strangling to murder (6:39) This is… still the wrong number. (6:41) i know i’m crowdsourcing ideas. quick, best way to hide an extremely tiny body?

A Bit Alarming by argentoswan

Taako gives up his freedom in exchange for the safety of his friends, and ends up locked in an enchanted castle with a surprisingly polite skeleton. Beauty and the Beast AU.

"'I’m afraid your friends were trespassing on my property. It was exceedingly impolite.' 'Yeah, and it’s super polite to lock them in the fucking dungeons.'"

study in light by weatheredlaw

He tells you things, things you don’t know what to do with. They fall out of his mouth and into your open hands, and you fumble them.

Deflection Toward The Relative Major by AuthorGod

He means to say all of this, but all that comes out is, “Why? Why choose me?” Instead of someone better suited he means; a warrior, a wizard, a priest.

I come back to this fic constantly. I love Kravitz-centric fic (surprise surprise) and this is one of the best there is I think

of aspen crowns and catskin down by mildlydiscouraging

The streets of London are slick and dark, and not just literally, although they are so often that too. Here there is not only murder, mystery, and mayhem, but magick as well. Here people go through their everyday tragedies and refuse to see the depths behind their troubles. Here two (and a half) detectives search for the truth.

In the dusk of autumn, with wind slicing down alleys, the good people of London are disappearing. It's up to Kravitz and Taako and, honestly, mostly Angus to solve the case, and maybe a couple other mysteries along the way.

SPOOKY VICTORIAN AU aka MY ENTIRE SHIT

those afternoons and evenings and does he project, does he have ideas? by mildlydiscouraging

The moments and years in between, in which feelings take root despite the constantly changing landscape. Alternatively: The world has been ending for forty years and Taako and Kravitz can't stop falling in love.

tazswap with Kravitz on the Starblaster, absolutely gorgeous prose

Reverie by Itdominic

There was a time Taako really could have taken or left it - life, and the world and whatever. Things aren't like that anymore, he tells himself, luckily, because this whole situation might get to be a real fucking drag otherwise.

heartbreaking but absolutely gorgeous

finale by teacuptaako

After everything, the distinction between alive and dead fades to a confusing grey.

In the wake of ‘The Day of Story and Song,’ Taako and Kravitz start to build their futures together: a labour of love, compromise, trust, and a slowly unravelling web of secrecy.

While the two of them grow closer and closer together, they and the rest of the world get further and further apart.

kravitz centric again, this is such a WEIRD fic and i literally haven’t stopped thinking about it since I read it

Drag Your Cities to the Sea (No Light, No Light) by  Desiree_Harding

"The months in Her retinue are long, and the work is hard. Her standards are high, and to satisfy them, Kravitz must be ruthless. But his conviction never falters. She is omnipotent. She is the avenging force of Justice, and Kravitz Her hand. She will keep the kingdom free, and for Kravitz to do her bidding is the greatest honor on this earth."

"Taako’s fingers curl tightly around the ropes of the Starblaster’s rigging as the ship cuts smoothly through the waves of the Sea of Souls below, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes on the horizon...In these moments, it’s freedom that hangs sweet on his tongue and settles in his lungs, and Taako loves nothing better."

It's a pirate AU! You know the rest!

i live for AUs

All the Things You Prayed For by @anonymousalchemist​ and @marywhal​

Taako's been dead for two years. Taako's been dead for seven decades. Depends how you count it.

Her brother is dead and Lup’s a whole lifetime into the future. It’s a brave new world out there and she’s trying not to think about it too hard. She gets the feeling that if she starts thinking, she won’t ever stop, and she can’t afford to be out of commission. She's the only Captain America the new century’s got.

Lup is Cap, Taako fell from a train, and eventually all ghosts come in from the cold. You guessed it—it's a TAZ/Marvel shakeup baby. We're bringing the party to you.

THIS FIC OWNS MY ENTIRE ASS

The Shape of Our Days Neverending by anonymousalchemist and marywhal

After the epilogue, Taako and Kravitz have a really good day. 

just some heckin good fluff amidst all this angst

Other Lives by marywhal

When Kravitz signed up for the job in Phandalin, he didn’t expect adventuring to become his life. He was bored playing for the well-to-do of Neverwinter, sure, but not this bored. He was supposed to make some quick cash, pay off his gambling debts, and go back to his comfortable existence as a bard. He wasn't supposed to join a secret organization trying to save the world.

But here he is, paralyzed on the floor of a crystallized laboratory, and he has yet to keep a suit intact through a single adventure

more tazswap! this is unfinished rn but it’s real good so read it anyway

Bury the Lead by marywhal

Taako’s senior year at Neverwinter High could be going better. Faced with a choice between joining the school’s floundering newspaper or being expelled, he opts for a career in journalism.

Lucretia, the paper’s editor, kind of wishes he'd gone the other way.

if you haven’t read this yet what are you doing with your life

These Unfinished Creatures by marywhal

Someone in Neverwinter is stealing souls from the astral plane. The Raven Queen’s favourite reaper is undercover and on the case.

Relearning how to be human is entirely incidental.

MORE spooky Victorian AU what did i do to deserve this fandom honestly

(you should read everything by marywhal but these are my favs)

our get-along suit by anonymousalchemist

"So, let me get this straight," the reaper says, scythe held flush against Kravitz's neck. A trickle of blood drips down toward his collar. Kravitz swallows shallowly. "You picked up a suit, and the suit happened to be a lich, and the lich wouldn’t let you go, so you just rolled with it?"

"His name is Keats," Kravitz says. "And. Er. Sort of?"

Our own, soft hearts by Wildgoosery (series)

Stories involving a Moon Wedding, its attendees, and its aftermath, written in wildly different formats.

you should read everything Goose has posted but this is one of the first Taakitz fics I read so I have a real soft spot for it

The Body Eclectic by SpaceJackalope

In which Kravitz has many feelings about being dead, having a body, and liking people and things.

A Quiet Refrain by @inkedinserendipity​

It starts with some of the most mediocre eggs Taako's ever clapped eyes on. Seven out of ten for taste. Zero out of ten for plating. Somehow, they're still the best damn eggs he's ever eaten.

(Or: Taako realizes he loves Kravitz back.)

it was your heart on the line by @inkedinserendipity​ and it’s sequels (links here)

one of many fics that inadvertently inspired synecdoche

Istus must be laughing. by writersstareoutwindows

"Whenever people talk about tattoos, Taako rolls down his sleeve. They’re sitting in a circle, usually drinking, laughing and elbowing and sometimes kissing. Whenever they realize Taako hasn’t said anything, he sips his drink, arranges his hair artfully over his shoulder, and says, 'Nah, nah, nah, my dudes, I don’t hold to that,' wiggling his fingers, 'mumbo jumbo tattoo fate-or-whatever bullshit. Chaboi Taako’s a free agent.'"

The present going forward. Memories in a jumble. Not a very neat story, but it's theirs.

another fic that inadvertently inspired synecdoche which i forgot until now!!

things left in the stars by mechanicalclock

You don’t collect things from places that you will never visit again, that’s foolish. It's about learning to let go in all the new ways, adapting quicker and quicker, having fun and forgetting.

Taako and Lup learn to remember.

a moment to bathe in our victory by AnonymousPuzzler

The apocalypse comes and goes. In the aftermath, Taako takes a bath, Kravitz worries too much, and some new feelings are reflected upon.

Taagnus

The end of the word does come and go, Page of Cups, Reversed, and Taking the dogs home by anonymous

About how the world is still here, and how going on can be done.

yellow by weatheredlaw

Washing the dishes, their fingers brushed in the soapy water of the sink and Taako felt a jolt.

Magnus turned and gave him a smile.

Strange Bedfellows by treshornybros (IamJohnLocked4life)

It quickly becomes a habit, and then routine. Magnus is oddly good natured about it. But then Magnus is good natured about everything, so maybe it's not that odd. No one else seems to notice.

They always sleep back to back.

Taako should find that comforting, and he does, at first. It's just like sleeping with Lup.

Sort of.

unremembering by  bluebatwings (series)

Their lives divided up into three parts: before, unremembering, and after. Love stories.

At the Interval by AuthorGod

Time grows stagnant. Taako watches as world become fractured and consumed, cultures and civilizations wiped out. All the potential a single person is capable of in a lifetime, just ripped away in a moment.

It doesn't get to him, and it doesn't get to him, and it doesn't until it does.

breaking the same old heart by tardigradeschool

Taako and Magnus in triptych: before, during, and after the Bureau.

The Blue Hours of Morning by daisybrien

Refuge takes its toll. Magnus and Taako talk it out, drunk on the living room floor.

Taagnitz

the only life you could save by @epersonae​ and hops (series)

this could also go in the Other category bc it’s All The Ships (including magcretia which isn’t even my thing but they write is so so so well that now it is my thing!) but I’m digging through my ao3 history and not finding much taagnitz that’s not  pwp/mine (a travesty) so it’s going in here. it’s also about taako and lucretia working their whole Thing out and it’s VERY VERY GOOD

no blinding light by provocation

Elves live much, much longer than humans. By the time most humans die, elves are just reaching adulthood.

Kravitz, on the other hand, is going to live forever.

the fic that made me ship taagnitz

in the focus by weatheredlaw

The sky was clear and the arms of the galaxy that surrounded them arched overhead as they lay in their sleeping bags, staring at the stars.

or: Kravitz knows there's room in all this for something between him and Magnus — he's just not sure what that looks like.

Dust by levelone

It was supposed to be simple: Taako was on TV, and Kravitz is a writer here for some pull quotes. Instead, when they meet in an empty diner in the middle of a desert, Taako says something impossible—and Kravitz believes him.

Oak and Mahogany by hideki16seiyuu

“Don’t try to pull one over on me, handsome. He’s going gray already.”

“He’s in his fifties now, Taako.”

“How much longer is left?”

“Longer than you’d think.”

---

Human lives can never match that of elves in length.

Take Up a Place Beside Me by goodnicepeople

"It's gonna be hard," Taako says, when they're alone again. "You can't... do that. Every time."

Or: Taako and Kravitz move in. Others move on. Some get dogs.

you are the life i needed all along by iwillbeyourgoal

along with the other memories he's gained from the stolen century, taako starts remembering his relationship with magnus on the starblaster.

these small hours by  ShowMeAHero

Taako and Magnus get their memories back, and now they need to negotiate some emotions, because they're having a hell of a lot of them all at once.

Other ships/Gen

I Have Seen the Fields Aflame by Desiree_Harding

She hadn’t meant to disappear. Had she known what was going to happen, that one weekend was going to lead to seven entire years without her brother, she never would have gone. But that was all it took.

A modern au in which Lup goes missing, and discovers that the coming home is maybe the hardest part of all of it.

i cried for like an hour after reading this

a thousand points of no return by anonymousAlchemist

Since wizard's daemons often settle as birds and urban legend says that elves are separated from their daemons, no one looks too closely at the fact that Taako and Lup are both single entities, missing the other halves of their hearts. They walk like people, they talk like people, and if they're hard to read because their daemons aren't fluffing up their feathers or swatting playfully with their paws, well, elves are notoriously enigmatic anyway.

This lasts until their first death.

All deaths on the Starblaster are strange. When Magnus first died on the animal planet, I'morko followed right after, both of their bodies dissipating into golden sparks, a strange inversion of the natural order. The pattern holds. Year after year, person and daemon alike dissipate into a fine mist of dust, knit together by the bond engine in the new plane.

During their fifteenth year, Taako is shot through the heart with a well-aimed magic missile. Lup screams and casts one last firebolt, spell-sculpting around their bodies, before unspooling into a fine golden sand.

snake eyed, with a sly smile by faehunting

The circus is a mystery that sets itself up for people who track its movements, for people who are desperate to find it, to find anything. The circus is a mystery that sets itself up for people to stumble upon.

In the morning, the circus is nothing but negative space and the revellers it left behind. They sit up. They try to wet the dust in their mouths. They start the journey anew.

creepy fae weirdness!!!! yes!!!!!

I’m With The Band by redqueentheory, Wildgoosery, and Woven_Gulch (series)

A series of connected stories, equal parts sentimental and horny, about how Brad and Taako and Kravitz fall in love.

wacky BDSM crack ship becomes Greatest Romance Novel I’ve Ever Read, has made me cry multiple times

these strange creatures by anonymousalchemist

Taako sweeps himself into the common area of the Starblaster with all the drama and panache that he reserves for alternate Tuesday afternoons. Barry ignores him with all the practice he has from a decade of alternate Tuesday afternoons.

“I’m exhausted,” Taako whines, draping himself across Barry’s shoulders, the sharp point of his chin poking into Barry’s collarbone. “I’ve been up since for-ev-er, working on this dumb transmutation thing for Lulu.”

“Go meditate, then,” Barry says, absently reaching up to pat Taako’s head.

“Meditate?”

“You know, meditation? Isn’t that, uh, one of your elf things??” Barry finally looks up from his book, barest hint of a wrinkle in his forehead. Taako shakes his head.

“Never heard of it, homeslice. Musta skipped that day at elf practice.”

Barry laughs.

“Elf practice, sure.”

you know... elf practice

all your saints and saviors by anonymousalchemist

It’s not so much that she wants to die per se, as much as it is that she’s done living. The female human life expectancy is seventy-two years on this plane (it was seventy-four years on her home plane) and she’s lost count of her birthdays. But the math is easy. She was twenty when she boarded the Starblaster. A hundred-twenty when they landed in Faerun. A hundred-thirty when the Hunger was defeated. She’s fifty six years overdue.

She’s done her job, is the thing. She saved the world, in exchange for youth, friendship, family. She gave up everything but determination. She considers it fair trade. But now Lucretia is a single-use tool whose purpose no longer exists.

In Her Bones by epersonae

She lives through the destruction of her home, but still they're separated, until Julia sees the green light, and the blue light, and has to figure out what to do next.

better give that heart a listen by tardigradeschool

Barry needs a fake husband if he wants to stay undercover. Magnus is more than willing to help him out. Davenport needs a vacation.

herald of a new dawn by inkedinserendipity

When Lucretia is five years old, she meets her familiar. At seven, she remakes it; at eight, she remakes it again.

Seventy years later it saves her from an unkind world. And a Century after that, it fixes a family that had started to break.

from me to you, with love by inkedinserendipity

Magnus shuts the drawer and says, almost absently, “Tell her I love her, okay?”

Kravitz pauses, debating. He takes a deep breath. “Magnus,” he says, and Magnus, detecting the shift in his tone, looks up immediately. “You know that she already knows, right? She knows that you love her,” Kravitz says gently. “You do tell her every time.”

Magnus chuckles, rubbing a sheepish hand along the back of his neck. “I know,” he says, turning a bit pink. “I just - I love her, you know? I really do. And I guess, when you love someone, you want to tell them that every chance you get.”

your stitches are all out (but your scars are healing wrong) by tardigradeschool

When it’s over, and she can barely feel what makes her herself anymore, the umbrella is tattered beyond repair. With her last traces of energy, Lup grasps for shelter, reaching out for somewhere to store her torn soul until she can be helpful again. At the edge of her awareness, she feels a familiar shape, a familiar warmth -- in her exhaustion she could almost mistake it for her own body. She reaches for it and pulls herself clumsily inside.

Safe and contained, she lets consciousness go.

Voidfish (Reprise) by inkedinserendipity

Angus McDonald is many things — the boy detective, for one. The youngest member of the Bureau of Balance. The unofficial little brother of the THB, however Taako insists he's actually their mascot. He’s a researcher, and a scholar. He's not a fighter. He’s not a hero.

But he can save the world all the same.

Patterns of Migration by goodnicepeople

Magnus builds a house. Angus finds a home. Migration brings things back, in turn.

Hard to Starboard  by BlueColoredDreams (series)

In the best world, it ends like this:

By starting over.

and the warmth will never die by Junkyard_Rose

Taako's been gone for maybe two years when Lup thinks she sees him shoplifting from a Hot Topic.

you ever read something that makes you astral project and you can't think about anything else for the rest of the day? me too

(in this category because it's mainly about the twins but it's also taakitz and blupcretia aka the ideal fic)

and at a certain age the child is grown by bimaukery

There are people in his grandpa's house.

AU where the IPRE family all moves in together and find the place less empty than they've been led to believe.

Amnesty

i left a light beside the bed for you by SyllableFromSound

"If she stares at the ceiling without blinking long enough, it starts to look fuzzy. Like there's a grainy film of static over the surface of the plaster. It makes her think of mist outside a window, of the big old tube TV that had sat in the living room of her house for her first few years of life and that had tingled warmly when she pressed her hand to the screen. Everything feels a bit fuzzy now, maybe because it's 3AM. Everything feels warm and a bit familiar.

Finally, Dani says, quietly, 'This is what I imagined it would be like if...if things had gone differently.'"

In which a couple of outcasts have some late-night chats and Aubrey ingests a foreign object to prove a point.

older than the trees by lamphouse

Summer is returning to Kepler, bringing with it humid late nights, not as many tourists as there used to be, and a certain moth man. Unfortunately, they're not the only ones.

Duck talks some shit out. Aubrey chills. Ned gets grifted. Indrid learns to see.

[superrcell]

ooooo for the video game ask thing botw or ffxv!!! :3c (sorry if thats a bit boring but im so interested in hearing ur thoughts about those soundtracks! :D)

hdsjkghjk dw those are both great i would love to talk about them and im doing both because. i never get a chance to talk about them and i have nothing better to do so long post time

botw

Fav Character Theme

tbh... revali’s theme, actually. i dont like revali all that much but his theme is so so beautiful i love it so much. i dont think i really realized how much i love his theme until just about right now, actually. i also love sidon’s theme, but i think that revali’s is actually my favorite. 

Fav Area Theme

hmm.... i think the hyrule castle interior, honestly. though the stables theme is also really up there. hyrule castle is just really nice and i love the atmosphere it has, but also the stables just... makes me feel safe its always so nice to hear it off in the distance when playing. oh and also the flight range... its so pretty. ohhh and the sheikah tower theme.... this is so hard so many areas of the game are so good. 

Fav Battle Theme

tbh... i think the talus battle theme! idk its just really good ghdsgk i really think that it really perfectly captures fighting just a big rock + i love the mix of the instruments that are playing + i dont hear it too often. i really like the guardian battle theme, too, though, but i think that the talus battle theme is slightly better because idk.. it doesnt feel as... empty as the middle part of the guardian battle theme? yeah. 

WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE MOLDUGA THEME. ITS THAT ONE DEFINITELY. ive listened to this one so so much its soooo so good. ESPECIALLY the second half. i love those string instruments.

Fav Boss/Final Boss Theme

absolutely divine beast vah ruta’s theme... vah medoh’s comes in second but something about vah ruta’s has just really stuck with me. its just so so so beautiful. i think its because it really reminds me of the first time i was doing the quest.. idk the music just perfectly captures the moment.

Personal Fav Theme

its really really hard to choose because i love literally everything else ive mentioned, but i think its the dragon’s theme. like... literally everything about that song is so good, and hearing it in-game... its just really so good. 

A song you didn’t like at first but grew to like

i dont know if i didnt like it at first, though i probably did, but the cave theme, i think. idk its just really.. idk not something i would normally like, and the high notes are kinda uneasy to listen to somewhat, but i love hearing it in the game it just. makes for a really good atmosphere, makes me feel safe. idk i love it a lot now. i also really have to mention i love the field (freezing cold) song... like i love love love the cold song and i dont think i wouldve ever enjoyed this as much as i do because its not really like? that much of a song? but yeah i love it. 

One of the first songs you heard from the game

i would say the main theme! i never saw any of the trailers beforehand, so the first song i heard was just... the first song in the game! and its a really really good song so.

A song that gets you pumped

i know i just mentioned these two but really divine beast vah ruta and vah medoh’s themes really do. like theyre just so good.. but something i havent mentioned: the divine beasts strike! (and then really all dark beast/calamity ganon songs but gdhjsgkjsj) 

A song that makes you happy

tbh, i think the song in link’s memory with the silent princess! its hard to find songs that make me really like... happy, ig, but this part is like.  my favorite memory it makes me so happy watching and listening to the song reminds me of it. and then also i think the main theme! because im sentimental gdbsjkghjkds

A song that makes you sad

idk! i dont know any songs really make me all that sad, either. i think ill say the epilogue because again im. sentimental 😢

The song you like least from the game

i think tarrey town actually x_x its not bad but its just so annoying when it comes up on the playlist because its. 10 minutes long of almost the same song. but its really really cool how it changes! though for a song that i dont like because of the music, hm... im just going through the ost right now and i dont like divine beast vah rudania’s theme. i also dont like the themes when youre inside the beasts that much, either, or the [x]blight ganon themes that much. this is too many songs huh gdhsjkghkds

theres so many other songs i looove but weren’t able to put here just know i love the entire ost basically. 

ffxv

Fav Character Theme

um... i definitely have to say home sweet home because i love prompto. i also love love love noctis’ theme (especially this version which i just now really listened to) but also like... i just love prompto so much gdhjksgk 

Fav Area Theme

this is impossible to answer because i just want to say literally every overworld theme from prompto’s dlc buuuut also i love wanderlust!! especially the old version!!!!! idk so many area themes are so so good in ffxv but ill just go with overworld themes here.

Fav Battle Theme

🤔 this is actually a lot harder than i thought it would be? so many are pretty good, except maybe the daemon ones... hearing all of them, i think maybe invidia, actually! idk it isnt one that i think i would get annoyed with if it were to play a lot, but all of them are really good!

Fav Boss/Final Boss Theme

absoooollluuutteeeelllyyy the somnus battle theme from the ardyn dlc like idc about the actual battle, or even somnus tbh, but the song somnus has always been my favorite song from the game and this was like OISIFUDSGUSDFHGSDHGIOSHGDSDFSHJGHDSGGJDSKGJKDS especially because of ardyn’s theme which i ALSO love like iaigjdsiogdsgiovdsjovfjiodjifdjbfdigjs ITS SO GOOD .. . . .. 

Personal Fav Theme

like i said, the somnus theme you hear in insomnia ... ive always loved it because i love songs where its like a remix (or, really just the original song) when youre in a different place, and the feeling of going through insomnia with this playing over the speakers... just an immensely wonderful experience its absolutely my favorite part of the entire game. theres a lot of other songs i love, but this has been my favorite for so long i just cant like... say its Not my favorite.

A song you didn’t like at first but grew to like

it was one of the battle themes from promptos dlc, like it was the first one so it mightve been trigger? idk it was one of them that wasnt like really the same as the other battle themes before it, but now i cant even 100% find the song i didnt like because i love all the battle themes from prompto’s dlc sm ghdjskgkj. i think its because of the song which i put as the one i dont like really made me appreciate everything more.

One of the first songs you heard from the game

oh, huh... i would think that it would be the same as botw, where the first song i heard is the first song that plays, so somnus instrumental! maybe? i cant really remember but yeah i think i first just watched my little brother play it from the start of the game! maybe ....

A song that gets you pumped

theres so many and i think the somnus battle theme which i already mentioned is especially one, but other than that, hm.. yeah i think thats it! idk i dont know many other songs that make me that FHDSHGDSG you know? 

A song that makes you happy

hm... maybe rodeo de chocobo! nothing bad happening, just some big birds c: yeah, not many are really that upbeat so this one is kinda an easy pick ghdjksgds

A song that makes you sad

oh everything in prompto’s dlc. but no ghjkdsjgk from the main game, probably dewdrops at dawn. idk like theres other parts of the game that are sadder, but just like... idk when i hear the song i can remember the whole cutscene, and the view of the world turning back to light and its just... i love it. it doesnt make me like really sad but idk... that sort of area of emotions dhjsgkj but yeah. but not from the main game, hm... promptos feelings/home sweet home from prompto’s dlc. i feel like its. pretty self explanatory ghdjkshg

The song you like least from the game

oh absolutely the song in insomnia in ardyn’s dlc ive always hated it. it just feels so out of place with the entire rest of the soundtrack and it's definitely not the kind of music i like fhjdskghjkds

anyways stan prompto

[otomeverything]

CODE REALIZE: WINTERTIDE MIRACLES

Release Date:  February 14, 2019 (North America) Developers:  Idea Factory, Otomate Publishers:  Aksys Games Platforms:  PS Vita, PS4

  I literally took my time playing this FD, knowing it’s the last (physical) otome game that will ever grace localization in the PS Vita.

Code Realize: Wintertide Miracles (Shirogane no Kiseki) is the second fandisc of the series, Code Realize. This game contains varieties of alternate and after stories that happened after the events of the last fandisc, Future Blessings.

  This fandisc contains the following stories:

Cantarella (Side Story) – Walkthrough available here.

Finis’s Epilogue

Sholme’s Epilogue

Love Triangle Stories (Short Stories)

Wintertide Miracles “First Christmas” (Alternate Stories)

Special Epilogues (Epilogues for White Rose’s stories in Future Blessings)

  ART AND MUSIC I know this is probably redundant as I’ve gushed about it a few times in my reviews for Guardian of Rebirth and Future Blessings. But, the artist Miko has done it again! I could not for the life of me, describe how incredibly beautiful the CGs are for this fandisc. There were also new sprites available for all the main and side characters, wearing their cozy winter outfits. Even Queen Victoria gets a new sprite wearing her expensive royal fur faux garb!

What I also loved about this fandisc were the new BGMs added for the series, they were all unforgettable and were specially made for the game’s Yuletide theme. One song that really stood out to me was the second Ending theme (Finis’ and Sholmes’ ED) “Beside You” by the artist SHOJI. Listen to the full track below:

***I purchased the whole soundtrack for Code Realize: Wintertide Miracles in iTunes. Link here.

  NEW CHARACTERS

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Cantarella (CV: Mamiko Noto) – Fuuka (Persona 4), Kotomi Ichinose (Clannad), Inia Sestina (MuV Luv), Felicita (Arcana Famiglia), Marvis Vermilion  (Fairy Tale)

Miles Strand (CV: Keiji Fujiwara) – Kagura Mutsuki (Blazblue), Jiro Hyuuga (Binary Star), Reno (Final Fantasy), Kiriya (Senran Kagura), Sakuya Tougane (Psycho Pass)

Baron of Aiguille (CV: Sugiyama Noriaki) – Akito (Norn9), Thor (Kamigami no Asobi), Suou Hana (Ayakashi Gohan), Katsuragi Naomasa (Yunohana Spring), Kashika Galle (Cendrillon Palika)

  SIDE STORIES AND AFTER STORIES I did Cantarella’s route first, followed by Finis and Sholme’s epilogues, then knocked out the love triangle dates before I played the main course, that is the “First Christmas” alternate stories for Wintertide Miracles. I myself, enjoyed this play order, though I would suggest playing whatever story you feel like playing first because that’s the whole point of a fandisc! lol

  CANTARELLA (Another Story) This story happened somewhere in the middle of Guardian of Rebirth’s common route. On their way home, after watching a performance at the Royal Opera House, Cardia and the rest of Lupin’s gang witnessed an attempted kidnapping of the Opera House’s beloved songstress, Cantarella. They’ve managed to save her as well as send her perpetrator running for the hills. They then took Cantarella to her home for safety measures, which lead the gang to meet her so-called “father” Miles. In this story, Cardia finds a friend in Cantarella and later on, discovers her true identity as both their existence managed to connect each other’s fates.

Just like “Lupin’s Gang’s” (side) story in Future Blessings, Cantarella’s route offers new likable characters and an interesting new plot for us to follow. Although I’ve very much enjoyed this story (for what it is), I didn’t like how the writers threw in these important characters on the third game, since canonically they don’t matter anymore as the main plot officially ended in Future Blessings. I would rather have this as an alternate story than a side story because It felt kind of unfair for Cantarella, Miles, and Auguille to get dissed like that after this little episode. lol Unless they’re planning on a third fandisc! (laughs)

Although the choices you make in Cantarella’s route, will not change the whole outcome of her story. It will, however, change a few scenes and dialogues in the game depending on the guy (main characters) your choices are inclined to. You can view my walkthrough for this route here.

  FINIS’ EPILOGUE (After Story) This after story took place right after the end of Finis’s route in Future Blessings. 

Six months have passed since Cardia managed to save his little brother, Finis from the unfortunate Nautilus incident in London. During this time, both twins return to their home in Wales and spend each day cleaning and repairing their old abandoned house while enhancing their bond as siblings. Suddenly, all hell breaks loose when one of Isaac Beckford’s invention called the “Knockers” have been spotted destroying a couple of buildings in London. It was made clear in the story, that these supposed-to-be-quarantined inventions of Isaac were “wrongly” activated by accident and it is now, up to the  Beckford twins (Finis’ most especially, since he’s fully knowledgeable when it comes to their father’s inventions) to stop this heaving uproar that threatened London its peaceful days.

This was probably one of my favorite After Stories in the series. Not only we get to see Finis in his true nature, as Cardia’s adorable cinnamon roll lil’ brother. We also get to see Lupin’s Gang and the Gordon Family in action as they help out clear the disruption in the streets of London during the main incident. ***This epilogue was very heartwarming and I absolutely enjoyed seeing Finis’ soft side while he deliberately declares threats whenever one of the main bois flirts with his sister! *chuckles* (´ ω `♡)

  HERLOCK SHOLME’S EPILOGUE (After Story) This after story took place right after the end of Sholme’s route in Future Blessings. 

It’s been half a year since Sholmes defeated his arch nemesis, James Moriaty (in Code realize Future Blessings). During this story, Cardia becomes part of Sholmes’ Detective agency together with his partner John Watson. The three of them fight crimes for the cause of good, even to the extent of ‘trying‘ to stop Lupin, the gentleman thief’s planned diamond heist of the prized jewel called “Mermaid’s Tear”.  Though try as they might, Lupin, as cunning as he is, still gets the upper hand and was able to escape with ease together with his genius engineer assistant, Impey. I know this was just a filler episode but it was kind of weird seeing Cardia as their enemy for once, but oh well…

Anyway, Sholmes actual main story revolved around finding a cure to Cardia’s poison.  As the Horologium still present in Cardia’s body, this fact still poses a threat that one day it will activate again, killing her along with the demise of London and its people. With this complication at hand, Sholmes gathered his A-team geniuses in the field of science and medicine; Victor Frankenstein, Dr. John Watson, Impey Barbicane and even the deviant genius scientist Nemo, who apparently now lives in a tiny cardboard box located in sewers (laughs) 😂 Poor guy! As all of them try their hardest to conduct research on a formula that will counteract the horologium’s poison, more problems seep into the picture that eventually causes Sholmes and Cardia make one life-threatening decision.

I like how Sholmes’ epilogue was narrated in a fairytale-esque kind of way. I enjoyed the story’s fluff content though, to be honest, this is probably the weakest story in the game (imo) as there really wasn’t anything “new” going on. Nonetheless, if you’re a fan of Sholmes, I’m sure you’ll have an awesome time discovering a few surprising sides of our favorite hot daddy detective. 

  FIRST CHRISTMAS “Wintertide Miracles” (Alternate Stories) These are “after stories” that happened right after Finis’ route in Future Blessings. It’s merely an alternate story where our heroine Cardia finds love during the Yuletide season. We get one story for every five main characters. What’s really special about these stories is that Cardia falls in love with one of the guys while his brother is alive! …THIS couldn’t be any more perfect, ❤️ I almost wished this was headcanon!

  Spoiler Warning: I will only be posting each story’s premise but I’m putting up my spoiler banner just in case.

  Victor Frankenstein After Isaac Beckford’s Nautilus incident that wreaked havoc in the city of London six months ago. Victor ended up opening a clinic located in the downtown part of London in order to help as many people as possible at a cheaper cost.

Victor’s main story started when one day he receives a mail from his parents in Switzerland telling him to settle down. He, in reply, told them he has no plans in getting married anytime soon but then started talking about how he’s currently interested with this ‘one girl’ and went all out writing two whole pages regarding his feelings for Cardia. (´ ε ` )♡ Without thinking of any repercussions, he sends the letter back to his parents judging its only the right thing to do as he’s speaking honestly from his heart. uwu. The next few days, he receives a reply letter from his mom saying they’re coming to London for Christmas so they can meet their son, Vic’s girlfriend. 🤣

In result, a panicked Victor travels to Wales to ask Cardia to be his “pretend” girlfriend just for Christmas while his parents are in town. 😂

***This was by far the cutest, most endearing “First Christmas” story I’ve read among the selections and I absolutely enjoyed it to bits! Besides its overwhelming fluffy contents, we also get to see Victor introducing Cardia to his parents (in CG!).

  Saint Germain Six months after the Nautilus Incident, Saint Germain, visits Idea’s leader Omnibus and reports that both Finis and Cardia, Isaac Beckford’s “problematic twins” are now living peacefully in Wales as normal human beings and are no longer a threat to humanity. As one of Idea’s faithful apostle, he awaits for Omnibus next order but was surprised to hear her tell him to take a long sweet vacation instead.

Still dumbfounded by their leader’s words, Saint Germain goes back to the mansion to find something to do with his newly acquired free time but since everyone in Lupin’s gang went about their own lives after London’s incident, he was left as the only resident in his house. This made him feel lonely and he admits to himself how much he misses the rowdy group clamoring inside the premise of his mansion. What’s more, is that he longs to see the face of his beloved, who he has not seen since his last visit in Wales.

This made him decide to write invitation letters to the group for a Christmas “Get-together” party. Though unsure if his anticipated guests would actually make it to the planned event. Saint Germain waits with hopeful eyes to see the faces of his precious friends again.

***The part where he waits for his friends actually made me tear 😭. Why are Saint Germain’s stories always melancholic? Why?! Thank goodness, this ended really REALLY happy. I would also like to gush on the fact that this is the only episode in the whole series where we get to see Guinevere outside her armor! Seriously, you absolutely can’t miss this!

  Abraham Van Helsing After London’s Nautilus incident, Van decides to travel with Delly all over United Kingdom in search for survivors of the Vampire War.

During their travels, the duo hears about the upcoming Christmas festival in London and decides to come home for the occasion as well as attend the gang’s Christmas party at Saint Germain’s mansion. They haven’t seen everyone in a while, so this decision made Van and Delly both excited. While at it, Delly proposes to take a side trip to Wales before coming to London and see the Beckford twins. Van agrees with him with Cardia in mind. ( ´ ▽ ` )

A few days have passed and they both arrived at Cardia and Finis’ home in Wales only to be disheartened to see the twins not being around. But with optimism as their friend, Van and Delly decided to wait. Night falls, and finally, Cardia and Finis arrived in the most unfashionable way ever (their automobile almost came crashing towards the duo) 😂 Everyone says their greetings when Cardia noticed that Van and Delly have been waiting out in the cold for too long, so she insisted they stay for the night.

The supposed-to-be one night stay turned into days and the group eventually decided to go to London together. While still in Wales, Cardia wanted to make everyone Christmas presents in the form of knitting and Van insisted on helping her with it.

***I love this! (/▽＼*) This surprising side of Van Helsing is all I ever wanted. I’m so glad to see him happy, always smiling and in his positive beaming self. It’s so refreshing! I need more happy-ray-of-sunshine Van Helsing in my life!

  Impey Barbicane Half a year has passed since the Nautilus incident in London and Impey visits the deviant scientist Nemo in prison from time to time as he plans to re-invent the gravity alleviator and is currently taking notes on Nemo’s advise while at it.

One day, In Saint Germain’s mansion, Saint tells Impey they received word from Van and Delly saying they’ll be back in London for Christmas. Since Lupin and Victor are already residing in the city, they decided to might as well invite Cardia and Finis in order for the gang to reunite once more this Yuletide season.

Meanwhile, in Wales, Cardia, (while fixing their automobile) thinks of how Impey’s constant declaration of love for her makes her heart feel woozy. She gets confused because she’s sure she loves Impey back but also “loves” the other members of Lupin’ s gang as well as her brother Finis. With this train of thought, she pesters her little bro and forced him to say the phrase “I love you” (to her), to which a blushing Finis, with all the effort, reluctantly did. 😂 But then yo girl was like “Oh but why does it feel different when Impey says it?” 😂 😂 😂 ROFL. This was adorably hilarious! I just can’t! 😂 

Later that day, they received a package from London in the form of a miniature Impey doll with a recording of Impey, Saint Germain and Lupin’s voice telling the siblings to come home for Christmas.

***I really enjoyed reading this one! I love how Cardia was strongly forward of wanting to explore her own feelings as she tries to discover the different meanings of “love”.  …and seeing Impey immensely blush time and again was such an awesome treat, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear! Another plus point was that we get to see Nemo give love advises to yo boi and that, to me was the icing on the cake in this story! (laughs)

  Arsene Lupin After the Nautilus incident in London six months ago, Lupin is back doing his thievery schemes like the proud gentleman thief he is.

One day while on a mission to steal a prized necklace from a corrupt Duke’s estate, he ends up being chased by Leonhartd as usual and just when he was about to execute his dashing escape, he gets distracted (by thoughts of Cardia) and gets shot by a rubber bullet instead. This, not only surprised Lupin himself but his perpetrators, Leonhardt, and his men were also perplexed at how they were able to take out the famed gentleman thief in one easy shot. In the end, an injured Lupin still managed to get away as he limped his way back to safety.

Back at the mansion, Victor along with Impey confronts Lupin saying he’s not being his usual self lately and asks him to perhaps, take a rain check from work (theft missions). A week later, Saint Germain chimes in, telling him the same and suggests that perhaps he’s longing for “someone”.  Taking in the Count’s advise to heart, Lupin begins to think of Cardia and how her absence is taking a toll on him. He then concedes with his true feelings and finally admits he misses her badly and the only way to cure this yearning is to see her face to face. So he starts writing the ‘perfect’ love letter for his beloved lady. 😂

***I must say, this after-story has the best CGs, as expected from the game’s headcanon boi. Just like Lupin’s uwu story in Future Blessings, it had its glorious romantic moments between the couple. As far as I see it, the game is clearly biased on Lupin’s story… the kabedon scene and that loooong kiss at the end, come on!  I couldn’t ask for more!

  TRIANGLE DATES (More CGs!) These are short stories which involve scenarios of Cardia spending her day with two main characters in the series. Although these are rather shorter stories compared to the ‘Wintertide Miracles’ selection, I was really impressed by how exceptionally good these little episodes were. You think you’ve had enough doki-dokis? Try this one on for size!

Here’s a list of all the Love Triangle episodes (you can play it in any order):

Lupin and Victor

Lupin and Impey 

Lupin and Van 

Lupin and Saint Germain 

Van and Impey 

Van and Victor 

Van and Saint Germain 

Impey and Victor 

Impey and Saint Germain 

Victor and Saint Germain 

Secret Episodes:

Delly and Sisi 

Aliester and Nemo 

Hansel and John Watson

  SPECIAL EPILOGUES These are short epilogue stories continuing the last events of Future Blessings (White Rose). These will unlock last, after finishing all of the above’s selections.

  IMPEY It’s been a few days and Impey hasn’t returned home after going on a work-related project (fixing airships and submarine engines in London).  Cardia was left alone in the mansion and although she knows Impey will come back soon, she thought of surprising him by gathering a lot of research documents related to their ‘moon-project’. She leaves for Wales to collect any information her father might have written in the past that can possibly help with the project. Not to ruin the surprise for her hardworking husband, she leaves a note that says “I’m going”.

Impey arrives at home, finds the note then begins to panic thinking Cardia has left him.😂 So he hurries and follows her to Wales to clear out this whole silly misunderstanding.

  LUPIN Cardia and Lupin go on a picnic at their secret place which has a great view of the industrial city of London and Lupin suggest that it’s about time to go on a honeymoon. Next few days, he takes Cardia to his birth city, Paris. There, they visit and the grave of his master, Theophraste and both of them said their prayers. They also ran into the head of the French police whom Lupin coined as someone equivalent to ossan Leonhartd. They had everyone (French police) chase them for fun and the couple gallantly escaped in style.

  VAN Cardia and Van are finally getting married and Shirley helps Cardia put on her wedding dress. Cardia decided to step outside the church so she could practice walking in her high-heel shoes when a bunch of men in black suits kidnaps her and takes her to another wedding location. There she finds an impatient man wearing a groom’s outfit who urges her to walk down the aisle with him. Cardia remembers the combat techniques her husband taught her and throws the man to the floor. Meanwhile, a worried and upset Van bursts out through the church door and started taking down the men in suits Liam Neeson style! 😂 😂 😂 Before things get worse, the gang stops Van and explains this was all a misunderstanding as the kidnappers and groom were actually actors and the bride actress never showed up for rehearsals so they thought Cardia was her by mistake.

The Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with this couple… ever! 😂

  VICTOR Cardia is now working as Victor’s assistant in the Royal Society and they spend their days doing research in Victor’s lab. Though they call themselves husband and wife, they realize that they never really had an actual wedding ceremony. So Victor asks Cardia if she wants to have a proper wedding and she says yes. A few days later, they began their search for a church in London but couldn’t find any since it’s peak season. Queen Victoria, along with Leonhardt notices Victor’s sullen expression and asks him what’s wrong, Victor tells them their circumstance and a snarky Victoria promises to help him only if he can prove to her how much he really wanted the wedding. After their deal, Victor comes home later than usual as he’s working extra hard to get her beloved wife that perfect wedding she deserves. Finally, the day has come for Victor to propose to Cardia and Victoria granted them permission to use the newly renovated St. Paul’s Cathedral. They got married in front of their friends and the Queen, and Cardia couldn’t be any happier.

  SAINT GERMAIN Cardia is now free of her poison and she and Saint Germain return to London so they can hold their wedding ceremony. The Count buys the ship “Gloria” from their mafia adventures in Lupin’s Gang (Future Blessings) episode and tells her this will be their venue. A day before their promised wedding, Hansel takes Cardia to Omnibus cottage and there they meet with Saint Germain and the leader of Idea herself, Omnibus. The old lady gives them her blessing, saying they will no longer be in the watchful eye of Idea and Saint Germain is now finally, freeee!  Both couples said their thanks to Omnibus. They got married in their luxurious ship the next day and all of their friends are with them happily celebrating the couple’s most special commemoration.

  Will I be able to enjoy this game even if I haven’t played Future Blessings? There were a lot of characters and events in Future Blessings that were present and added to this game, so I don’t think it’s a good idea to skip Future Blessings in the series. In addition, the main “Wintertide Miracles” stories continue from the last events of Finis’s route in Future Blessings, so, all the more reason not to skip the first fandisc.

Localization There were a couple of typo mistakes that I couldn’t really overlook which makes me think that perhaps because of it’s promised released date on Valentines Day, the game was rather rushed and there wasn’t a lot of time spent dedicated solely on proofreading it. ┐(︶▽︶)┌

  TRAILER

  FINAL THOUGHTS? ＼(＾▽＾)／ My overall play length for Code Realize Wintertide Miracles was a good 10-15 hours. Despite me trying to make the game last forever for about at least, two weeks, I finished it pretty quickly because I just couldn’t get enough of it.

Cantarella’s side story was way better than the gang’s Mafia adventures in Future Blessings and I sure did wish the ‘Cantarella-characters’ would’ve made a cameo in the special epilogues, because seriously, what a waste of good characters to be squeezed in, on the third game. ┐(‘～` )┌

Finis wins best boi in my book. This was one of the things I really appreciated most in this FD, and I’m sure most Code Realize hardcore fans would agree. Finis’ character finally gets justice! We get to see more of his adorable side as Cardia’s little brother while maintaining his hostile and dubious personality 😂. Who would’ve thought this boy is such a tsun-tsun! ❤

Do I recommend this game? YES (esp. to all Code Realize fans) Take note, this game is the series’ second fandisc. So literally, one cannot play it all willy-nilly without fully playing it’s first two predecessors. Personally, I’ve enjoyed this game a lot but that’s because I’m such a huge fan of the series. Perhaps to those who aren’t into Code Realize, you probably won’t enjoy this as much.

With the production of PS Vita consoles and games, completely shutting down worldwide this year, Code Realize Wintertide Miracles was such a special treat for us otome fans ~ esp. now, where there is scarcity of otoge releases in the West.

The game’s romantic Christmas theme really took this one up a notch and the newly added side stories are really something to look forward to. If you already like this series, loved the game’s main casts and wished for more adventures with them, this game is definitely worth the purchase.

  CHLO’S RATING: 8/10

Code Realize: Wintertide Miracles Review CODE REALIZE: WINTERTIDE MIRACLES Release Date:  February 14, 2019 (North America) Developers:  Idea Factory, Otomate Publishers: 4,080 more words

[geminijackdaw]

Fanfic Author Asks

Tagged by @bereft-of-frogs​! 

I... have a really hard time being positive about my own writing, but I tried OTL 

Author Name: I’m KiwiMeringue pretty much everywhere! I might change it to this one sometime? But I’ve changed it before and I don’t want to keep like, switching all the time OTL I should probably just have called it like KiwiWrites or something, but the thing about this username is I just thought it was cute and unintentionally led a bunch of people to assume I was from New Zealand which is patently false advertising and very disappointing when it turns out I’m Canadian xD; 

Fandoms you Write for: I’ve got stories published for the MCU, and Naruto!  Uhhh I’m blanking on things I’m famiiliar enough with to write for but there are a bunch? Critical role, the adventure zone, Good omens, netflix she-ra., maybe? Homestuck, but more @mr-alice and I’s fantrolls and kids, who still have a huge place in my heart, more than canon.  

Where you post: I’m kiwimeringue on AO3 and FF.net, and then any like small prompt fills I’d probably leave here, 

Most Popular One-shot: Hands down, it’s Therapy Dog.  In which a young Hatake Kakashi deals with grief, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD by acquiring an irresponsible number of dogs. (Disclaimer: this does not work irl if you’re not a magic dog whisperer with a large property out of town) 

Favourite Story You Wrote:  This is as far as I got and this has been sitting in my drafts for days because I really, really struggle with this. I have a hard time being proud of anything I write. I guess it’s Therapy dog, becuase it’s definitely the one that’s resonated best with people, and probably my best example of “Look, I wrote a fanfic!” without having to qualify it with a bunch of asterisks. 

I have given myself a self-imposed deadline of from October 1st to halloween to finish a prompt that I got from @portraitoftheoddity​ in her discord server, (it’s not SUPER spooky, but it’s tenuously thematically appropriate enough that I’m making it my project for the month xD) if I can pull this off, it will be this one. It should be fun. 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: ALL OF THEM. Time I had some Time Alone (TIHSTA) is like a self-indulgent au of a self indulgent au, and I;m amazed anyone enjoyed it xD It got more of a response that Undying Fidelity (UF), the fic from which is is derived, did, for a while, which surprised me. I sort of what to qualify that I started this before I found the incredible corner of the MCU writer’s fandom that I currently frequent, so uh... this is very much Disney Grandmaster. This is Jeff Goldblum in space. Which is what I’m comfortable writing, but feels really pale and inconsequential in contrast to the horrifically vivid and rich dark carnival of twisted Grandmaster fan content that exists, like welcome to fucking weenie hut Jr’s, population: me. 

How Do You Pick Your Titles: With great difficulty and much waffling! Kintsugi is named for thematic relevance that... I haven’t actually gotten to yet but it’s about to become stupid literal anyone who read version 1.0 knows how I mean this. But the idea of things history, and damage being inextricably linked to them, but that the thing can go on anyway, changed but not ruined, there’s recurring imagery and points of fault lines, places where things have been weakened, but that these are important and necessary. 

I don’t feel like I have to explain Therapy Dog xD it’s about coping with grief... with dogs. 

Undying Fidelity is like, painfully obvious, but it’s what I had started calling it, and it just. stuck. Obviously from Loki’s like... second last line in IW, and Sigyn’s title in the Marvel Comics. I’m kind of wishing I’d chosen something else, because there are definitely other fics with the same title, and it’s the name of a song from the IW soundtrack that is... less than fun. For obvious reason. I mean it’s perfect for what it was used for, but it’s not a “ahhh gonna pop this one on for a listen” kind of piece. I still can’t think of anything better, though we’re kind of in a weird place because I don’t quite have all the cards on the table, yet. On Loki’s end though,I’m hoping that I’ve sufficiently established this like... tenuous vestigial little flicker of affection that he’s been able to more or less ignore, but that simply would not go out, despite how much easier that would have been, that’s been given a little room to breathe now. (I could definitely go on trying to justify this for paragraphs, so I’ll stop now xD). Thematic chapter naming is another thing I love to inflict on myself and I always regret it, though I love it so much when other people do it, ahhh. UF’s chapters are all named after cards of the Major Arcana in the Tarot. I’m going to get to one eventually and you’re all going to see why I did this, and you’re all going to hate me and I deserve it xD 

Time I Had Some Time Alone is the thing that’s repeated at the end of REM’s :”It’s the end of the world as we know it” and does sort of describe our reluctant hero’s state at the beginning xD Thriving in his completely self centered backstabbing Littlefinger party hellscape. (I went off on a huge tangent here that I have removed, I may make it its own post). Anyway, more thematic chapter naming, everything’s based on some apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic story. So 21 Days later (since for Loki it felt like three weeks) instead of 28, and chapter two is now titled “beyond thunderdome” because of course it is. (it was “the man come around” for like, THE ARRIVAL OF DEATH  but that uh... that’s going to be a later chapter now). 

Fic-in-planning stages will be called some variant of “Again, from the Top”? Take it from the top? ugh I’m trying to evoke like... redoing a scene. 

There was also Errant, my NaNoWriMo story from like 2012 or something? xD It was about a bunch of idiots that were basically an RPG party in a shitty High fantasy bullshit setting. So like, as in, “a knight errant” wandering in search of adventure, but also in the sense of like like... they’re a bunch of dumbasses making mistakes. 

Do you Outline: Yes! I definitely need to be more organized about it because my outlines are like these stupid irreverent event sequences that involve me remembering nuance way too well. Like for Kintsugi especially I’m scared I’ll have forgotten important minutia that I didn’t bother including becauyse oh pfft, of course I’ll remember that. And then I ...dont. My initial outlines for UF were an excel spreadsheet with scenes in various tiem periods that I dragged and dropped all over the place xD It was SUPPOSED to be thematically relevant paired scenes, with one part of each chapter being zset in the past and one half on the statesman and it just... did not work out that way. 

How Many of Your Stories are complete: One! And it’s the one-shot! FML!

In-Progress:  Undying Fidelity: Currently working on chapter 10 out of 22 TIHSTA: 2 out of... probably 4+ epilogue? Kintsugi: 13/Mayyybe like 30 something?

Coming Soon: From the Top is in its planning stages~! 

Do You Accept Prompts: Absolutely! I can’t guarantee that a prompt is going to like... spark writing? in me? But I’m always open to the idea. And that doesn’t mean that an idea is bad or anything! Just like, can I, personally, take this idea and run with it somewhere. 

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: Probably from the top, though I am two chapters out from part of of UF I am reeeeeally looking forward to writing :D 

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions: I don’t know who’s been tagged already, I’m so bad at this, so uhh~ If you have been already, or if you just don’t feel like it, please disregard this! And if I don’t tag you but you feel like it, go for it!  @teleris-night @malicemanaged @cosmicmewtwo @not-so-terrible and @ramblingredrose