#that kind of scares me tbh
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nightcorecarseatheadrest Ā· 2 months ago
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The little boy that nobody came looking for
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imaybe5tupid Ā· 7 months ago
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Falin in the Isle of Wa
ft Benichidori and Hien šŸ‘Æā€ā™€ļø
Part 1 of my postcanon dyke drama cinematic universe
Part 2
Interlude
Part 3
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cacaocheri Ā· 6 months ago
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we both deserve to be happy
in case anyone is wondering, it gets easier. it gets so so much easier and i hope you find the love you're looking for
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moonkhao Ā· 3 months ago
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hi.
#i know most of you didnā€™t even realize i was gone#but manā€¦#my mental health was like in a state of šŸ“‰šŸ“‰šŸ“‰ in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnā€™t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes šŸ„²)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iā€™m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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scalpelsister Ā· 1 year ago
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dark justiciar shadowheart is genuinely so interesting to me as like... a facet to her character. like it really hammers home how desperate she is for shar's love and affection (+ the validation and love from other worshipers of shar). like in a lot of ways I get that it seems shocking to others / some fans because it really does contradict some of the morals we see her express BUT imo that just speaks to the level of desperation she feels. her comments on how shar "must" love her for her to survive the shadowcursed lands, or the bit where she talks about shar nurturing her and loving her and sounds... almost more like shes trying to convince herself more than shes trying to convince you. theres a bit about other sharrans not thinking she had earned her name, and of course the mother superior not thinking she was ready / worthy of being a dark justiciar. like shes just so completely desperate to feel unconditionally and securely loved, and to earn the approval of others that shes entirely willing to injure herself in the process (as well as.... the people who actually love her, of course).
not to mention that mechanically, afaik, she can only end up there if shes encouraged to by the player. ie... she needs to know someone else approves.
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wis-art Ā· 1 year ago
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Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,
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purecommemasolitude Ā· 4 months ago
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Thereā€™ve been criticisms about Darry being too mean or too cruel in the musical, and I get where those people are coming from, but ā€” and speaking as someone who hasnā€™t seen or listened to it but has listened to the soundtrack and follows the information account like the paper ā€” I think this phenomenon stems from two things
First, on the side of the discussers, a lack of exposure to the musical as an actual piece of material instead of (occasionally very out of context) lines or screenshots. Obviously seeing the musical, even if one lived in New York, would be expensive as all get out, and even audios and boots are pretty hard to find for this show, but there are many details and contexts that change how lines on the page should be interpreted that simply cannot be gleaned through, well, lines on the page. As someone who has dabbled in acting & directing, and has spent time analyzing play texts in depth, delivery and direction can change everything. The entire sentiment of a line can be the opposite of what youā€™d expect if you took the line at face value, and unless thatā€™s explicit in the stage directions, it can go unrealized if one is merely reading the script (which, as an aside, is exactly why I find analyzing play excerpts tricky ā€” because without a performance or direction, scripts are often so ambiguous and versatile that they could go any way). And honestly, despite also being someone who unfortunately does not benefit from first hand knowledge of the musical, I feel like this is very evident in discussion of Darry in the show. For example, none of his lines in, say, Runs in the Family (Reprise) should be taken at face value, because if youā€™ve even listened to the song you can tell heā€™s completely spiralling and hitting a breaking point. This is a state that, historically, causes people to say things theyā€™d never believe in real life. Weā€™re not meant to believe Darry would ever walk out on his brothers, weā€™re meant to hear him talk about it and understand how deep of a breakdown he is having. As a less obvious example, from what people online have said, Darry spends the last twenty or so minutes of the musical in tears. Again, the things he says here arenā€™t necessarily the things he believes, or things that heā€™s expressing coolly or off-handedly because they line up 1:1 with his worldview, theyā€™re things he says when heā€™s desperate and struggling and has no idea what the correct path is when his brother & responsibility has effectively been comatose since the deaths
Which brings me to my next point!
One of the most known things about the musical, even to people who arenā€™t very familiar with it, is that it goes more in-depth on Darryā€™s trials and tribulations, so to speak. He gets one solo at status quo, another (mostly) solo when he gets his breakdown, and a (mostly) duet in his own self-described darkest hour during Ponyā€™s absence. All three of these songs go into detail about what his life is like and how much heā€™s been struggling, and even songs that arenā€™t about him emphasize this feature of his more than in the book: his description by Ponyboy in Tulsa ā€™67 & Great Expectations reminding the audience of his lifeā€™s path, his verse in GGAH making it clear that his life is a very different one with arguably more severe burdens compared to the other boys. Other than the three most important characters of the original narrative, he is now undoubtedly the most important and developed character ā€” which makes sense in a musical format, because with the story of The Outsiders it wouldā€™ve been pretty much impossible to do a true ensemble cast other than the main three while doing any of them justice, especially if theyā€™d kept Steve as a principle (rip king). But I digress. In my opinion, being clearer on Darryā€™s hardships actually gives the musical space to show him as saying crueller things, to have him make more mistakes and mess up worse. In the book, weā€™re clearly meant to sympathize with him by the end, but we only get Ponyboyā€™s infamously flawed and unreliable narration as the lense through which to view him. As such, if we went too hard into Darry messing up, while 3/4 of the book have Ponyboy going ā€œyeah Darryā€™s a rock and doesnā€™t love me or anyoneā€, he ultimately wouldā€™ve come across a lot worse and a lot harder to ā€œredeemā€ in the eyes of the reader (personally I never disliked him, but Iā€™ve seen enough accounts of people who hated him on their first go at the story to know it is not an uncommon sentiment). He already slaps his brother and argues with him all the time; it wouldā€™ve been even more legwork to make him liked if heā€™d also been saying harsher things and making more mistakes. In the musical, however, we get that objective perspective thatā€™s missing in the book. Ponyboyā€™s not narrating to us the lyrics of Throwing in the Towel, heā€™s not even present for the events of Throwing in the Towel! Itā€™s a lot easier to understand and forgive mistakes if one is familiar with the psyche behind those mistakes, and the musical delivers that psyche to us at every turn. Because the audience understands Darry Curtis and how hard it is for him to hold on, the audience also has more understanding and forgiveness for when heā€™s spiralling. Itā€™s also just a more specific proof of his plight ā€” three songs with first-hand, emotionally explicit lyrics penetrate the uninvested understanding a lot easier than a second-party description of circumstances. Due to its nature and promotion of Darryā€™s importance, the musical simply gets more freedom to show an arguably more realistic version of him.
Also, I do believe that Darry in the musical is just that much closer to the edge than he is in the book, which is a valid character choice in an inherently emotional and transformative medium such as the musical adaptation šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø
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dungeonmessy Ā· 10 months ago
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Gotta be real I dislike kabru x mithrun and Iā€™m dreading whenever mithrun shows up in the anime and the arc of kabru taking care of him makes everyone go Omg yaoi!!!!!!!!
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s4pphic-sh3nan1gans Ā· 10 days ago
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my mum kept annoyingly referring to me as "girl" and "woman" by tacking it onto the end of what she was saying to me (šŸ˜) and eventually I got fed up and asked her to stop, which then prompted her to say "okay, so what would you prefer to be called? nerd?"
.........idk if I should laugh or not šŸ˜­ cos like she's not wrong-
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transgenderdevil Ā· 2 years ago
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I still cannot think about anything except cult of the lamb. Heres another drawing
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itspileofgoodthings Ā· 1 year ago
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my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.
#I know itā€™s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didnā€™t have anxiety I would not suffer at all#which. again. is false#but thereā€™s a lot of things I donā€™t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept#and like. Itā€™s FINE#but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony#and itā€™s hard because I donā€™t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom#unable to move or function#Iā€™m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing#but itā€™s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully#like an unseen wound#and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people#is one of the most painful things#just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them#and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning#and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb!#tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams#or impetus or forward motion or anything#because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also theyā€™re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy#so theyā€™re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they arenā€™t there. Iā€™m sorry Iā€™m rambling Iā€™m FINE#actually when I talk about it thatā€™s how you know Iā€™m doing okay with it#when I canā€™t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions#thatā€™s the problem#anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.
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stunie Ā· 3 months ago
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cleared my schedule for the umemiya fic.
AAAAA please nonnie i love you so much šŸ˜­ this made me smile so hard hsjsmmm
aaa tbh (rambling): iā€™ve never been this nervous to post writing though ?! is it because itā€™s umemiya ?! my first long wind breaker post ?! IDK AAAAAAAAA I KEEP READING IT IM LOSING MY MIND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE WHOLE THING MEMORIZED
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kindheartedgummybears Ā· 10 months ago
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you wanna know what??
I am
TIRED
of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!
I WANNA SEE A
WEREWOLF
WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!
I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!
I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!
AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF
D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !
#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys#I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!!#I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!!#I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO ā€œG I R L Yā€ THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!!#LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!!#AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA#like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues#and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or ā€œweakerā€ than the ā€œstronger alpha maleā€ were#olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always ā€œcalmerā€ and ā€œmaternalā€ and ā€œcalms the alpha male downšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗā€.AND she never has an actually good#werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen.#like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!!#(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze)#like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the ā€œdog show 30k$ poodleā€ kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho)#AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES???#like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an#need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju#t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing.#WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: ā€œah yes. White man.ā€#IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think ā€œthis bitch is overreactingā€ and tbh idc.the girls who get it get#the girls who dont dont.#anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo#i love yall#*smooch smooch*#Werewolves#Werewolf#Lycanthrope#Lycanthropy#Werewolf AU#Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.
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1eeminho Ā· 2 months ago
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kpoppies only response to clearly malnourished idols being 'some people are just naturally skinny!!!' is so fucking harmful lol like yes. of course some people are naturally very skinny and receive societal backlash bc of that and its an issue that needs to be taken seriously as well. at the same time, if u see an idol who in pics of them as children have a different body type + theyre working in an industry that openly promotes insane diets to stay skinny, then the probability of your idol being naturally very skinny and not due to extreme dieting and/or drugs is quite low. and the solution is not to comment it under every picture of them of course But it needs to be talked about in general that many many idols are starving themselves and are celebrated for it. and going all 'its just their natural body stfu' every time is not helping either.
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cartoonghosts Ā· 3 months ago
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genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.
#tw suicide mention#tw sui ideation#tw vent#Tw self harm#Tw sh#I'm just pissed as fuck#And since I'm in a bad mood I want to fucking kill someone violently#I'm trying to find some cute art on tumblr to look at and I get images of people's gaping bloody injuries#And someone talking about viscerally wanting to die#Because when I like and support and reblog mental health discussion and support#Tumblr algorithm then finds me a post tagged with like#Mental health#(Speaking of:)#tw mental health#Or depression#And yeah I get how it can be really nice to vent online and scream into the void I do it myself a ton#But if you aren't in the mental place to tag shit and do the bare minimum to be kind to others#Just save it as a draft#Come back 10 minutes later and add tws#It is genuinely so easy to not hurt people#Why the fuck would you choose to do it#What is wrong with you#Tbh this whole post is a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be but I'm really freaked out rn#And if I don't keep ranting I'm scared of what's gonna happen in general#I know I won't die and I really do believe thst I can keep myself safe for now but fuck it's hard and it would be easy if people were kind#And the worst thing is thst we are#I love people and I love how kind we are to others and I love how almost anyone is willing to be gentle with someone who needs it#So I know that this is a conscious decision to either remain ignorant to just to straight up hurt people#And that's so much worse than getting triggered#It's like I'm grieving someone who's still alive
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imaginaryanon Ā· 10 months ago
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"ah fuck i guess [thing] is over/has been cancelled so i gotta quickly post the rest of the art i've done about it then move on šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­" you guys live like this? genuinely?
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