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shycloudkitty · 2 days ago

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Just one more minute...

Summary: Your husband has to leave for yet another mission but he's not quite ready to let you go yet… So he just savors…each… moment…

Pairing: Death Island! Leon × Fem reader

Tags: a bit angsty but lots of comfort, Leon sleeping peacefully for once in his life, fluff, established relationship. Just overall a short comfy read <3

WC: 1.3K

Small droplets of rain splatter on the windows of your bedroom. The soft sound created a soothing lullaby for the ears for those who were sleeping to it. The cloudy weather and the chill air contributed in making it the most serene environment while you stay snuggled up peacefully in your husband's arms with a warm blanket over you.

His arms stayed around your waist holding you gently in a warm embrace, face nuzzling your hair, gentle breathing warming your neck. This was always his favorite position to fall asleep to. Your smell, your soft touch, your weight beneath him, telling him that you were really here… You were real.

Your arms were wrapped around his bare torso and face buried in his chest. Feeling his body warmth seep into your skin. Limbs trained to take life, now just protecting you from the chill air and comforting you in your sleep.

It was such a simple moment, just a couple sleeping and relaxing in each other's comfort. But at the same time it was so rare between you two. Just having these simple moments with him felt like a blessing. It was heaven.

And why wasn't it normal for both of you? Right. He had a job of saving the world, do or die, special agent... You get the idea. Except his job wasn't exactly a James Bond one. That only happened in movies. No, this was more grim than what they show in the movies. But what can you do when these are the cards life dealt you with?

But he always felt inspired by you, how you handled every situation thrown at you with grace. Obviously, he wasn't a fool, he could see it was tough but still tried your best. Even in this relationship, you handle everything with so much love and care…he never had someone who sticked with him more than a few months let alone actually get married to.

He didn’t hold anything against his exes, like his life was basically swamped with work so he understood why they left. What was actually confusing? You staying in his life, despite everything. You stayed even when he missed some of the important moments of your life. Sadly, that was the reality of his job. You win some, you lose some.

He was obviously happy that you stayed with him despite everything but he never quite understood why? He couldn't help but ask you this question. He remembers seeing your cheeks get red, avoiding his gaze and softly saying ‘I love you’. He also recalls saying ‘thank you’ in response because of how flustered he got from the confession.

That memory always makes him facepalm himself.

After the day of your confession it was like his world flipped. And even though he didn't understand it fully at the time he wanted to do everything in his power to keep you in his life, even if it meant catering to your every whim. He listened to everything you said, trying to remember the best he could.

He actually has a secret folder on his phone containing everything about your likes and dislikes just in case he needs a refresher.

He didn’t even realize when it happened but he fell in love with you and wanted to keep you in his life forever. Thankfully, you felt the same way when he got down on one knee and asked if you wanted to marry him. He almost lost the ring with how nervous he was, fidgeting with the ring box in his pocket every 5 minutes.

It's been a few years since he tied down the knot with you and it was the best decision of his life. Sure, being married presents its own set of problems, sometimes things get rocky between you two, but there was nothing you both couldn't solve. Sometimes the problems needed talking, other times he could tell without you saying a word. But each time he makes it known that he loves you. Always.

The soft rain slowly stirs Leon awake, he glances at his surroundings and then looks down at your sleeping face with his bleary eyes. He yawns and rubs his eyes, the digital clock on his nightstand read 6:30am.

It was still half an hour early before he had to go to work today for some missing person assignment Hunnigan gave out. He didn’t wanna go but apparently it was top priority and needs his immediate attention. He told you about it last night, you weren't exactly happy since it was last minute but at this point you had grown used to it.

He tilts his head and looks at your serene face, caressing your cheek and sighing. His lips press a soft kiss on your forehead and gently threads his fingers through your hair. His voice comes as a soft whisper. “I don't wanna go either… you know that, right?” You probably knew how he felt about going too. You could read him like a book at this point.

His eyes flit through your soft features, taking note of your breathing, slow and deep, fully relaxed. He smiles to himself and whispers in the same soft voice. “God, you’re so beautiful. You always are.” he lovingly brushes some hair out of your face. “I'm really lucky I get to see you like this, feels like I'm in heaven even if I probably won't ever go there. You do so much for us, I wish I could just stop this moment for us and never let go.”

He sighs softly and slowly pulls you closer to the warmth of his chest, trying not to jostle you too much. He closes his eyes briefly, focusing on your warmth. And starts mumbling to himself. “Honestly, if I was a poet I would have written dozens of poems about you. They probably would have been corny but you would have liked it.”

He gently starts brushing your hair again and continues. “But since I'm not… I don't have enough words to fully express how much you mean to me. The fact that we’re still together, makes me the luckiest fool ever lived. My heart hurts sometimes because of how happy I get cause of you.”

He sighs and mumbles. “I'm not normal…never have been. But with you…I feel that I finally became the man that I was supposed to be. And that I finally have a place called home."

He scoffs to himself, shaking his head. He didn't know what had possessed to become so sentimental this early. “I'm really cheesy aren't I?”

He felt soft teardrops on his chest where your face was resting. You had woken up from his rambling.

His heart clenches from realization. He gulps, feeling the sudden lump rise up in his throat. He hugs you tighter and rubs your bare back. “I will come back, I promise.” Softly pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

He glances at the time again. It was nearly 6:55am. He had to start getting ready for work.

He slowly tilts your face, wiping away the tears from your shining eyes. His expression softens, cupping your face in his hands and softly kisses you. He feels you kiss him back, your grip on his arm tight.

After a few moments you both slowly pull back from the kiss, eyes closed, foreheads resting against one another, soft breathing filling the quiet room. He softly mumbles. “I have to get ready now sweetheart.”

He feels you shake your head in response. Your soft voice fills the room. “No…wait for few more minutes. Just stay.”

He gulps and nods. He wasn't strong enough to deny that request. He pulls you close, covering both of you in the blanket. “Of course, darling.” And press soft kisses on your shoulder.

Enjoying these quiet moments of solace with you. Even if he couldn't make this moment last forever, he knew he would come back to relish it again...

Usually I wouldn't say this but I would very much appreciate it if you left comments, obviously if you want to. It helps me improve and encourages me to write more. 😊❤

-Bella

#resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon vendetta #leon kennedy × you #infinite darkness #bella fics #leon s kennedy #death island leon #older leon kennedy #resident evil 6 #fem reader #x reader #reader insert #leon kennedy fluff #light angst

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fancyperfectionsweets · 3 days ago

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Astrology Observations 🥀🏚️

💞 This is fucking crazy but I read somewhere that the moon's zodiac in your D9 chart shows the ascendant/sun/moon of your spouse of their natal chart and I checked mine and my boyfriend's and it's literally the same?? His moon is in Capricorn. I'm a Capricorn rising and mine is in Pisces moon in D9 and this man is a Pisces rising?? Tf?? 🤯🤯

⚖️ A debilitated sun represents bad relationships with their father. Sun represents the father in the chart. In my personal observation, fathers or even people who can represent father figures in the libra sun's life (older brothers, uncles) can be hypocritical, take advantage of them or cannot be dependent on for any kind of support. One of the hardest placements fr.

🔅 If your darkaraka has another planet in the same house, your spouse can also have similar qualities of this planet. For eg., sun dk with mercury in the same house means that yes, your partner will be famous or has ego (sun qualities) but can also have "younger" or childlike qualities or they may be younger to you (mercury qualities).

👁️ Neptune first house = big doe eyes (no matter which zodiac).

👩‍💻 It is said that having a stellium in the 11th house can attract online stalking behaviour and it's true 🥲 . I have an 11th house stellium (sun + mercury + pluto) and I've had so many fake accounts and dating profiles made of me that I've given up trying to get them reported. I'll report one account and find another one. Aaaaa 😭 truly annoying.

🌹 Want to know the ideal time to meet a potential partner? Check your 7th house zodiac. When venus or jupiter comes in this sign, this is when you're likely to find romantic interests. I found out that my first relationship was when jupiter was in cancer (my 7th house lord) and I mostly bumped into my boyfriends when venus is in cancer.

🛌 4th house synastry is literally so comforting? You can be the coldest person and still be dreaming of building a home together with this person once they walk into your life

🌟 Weirdly enough, I've noticed that when people have Saturn + jupiter conjunction in whichever house they come across as super assured about those house's themes. If it's in the first house, the native is sure of himself. In the third house, they can be sure of their communication skills and be pretty blunt.

🦋 Libra 10th house, libra 1st house and venus doms: their obsession to be put together in public needs to be studied.

🤑 If you are born in 1997, there is a huge chance that Jupiter is in its debilitation zodiac in your chart (jupiter was in Capricorn that year). So here's two ways the debilitation can be cancelled.

1) Check your D9 chart. If Jupiter is exalted there or is sitting with another exalted planet, the debilitation of your natal chart gets cancelled

2) check if Saturn was in Pisces (which it was mostly that year). Pieces is jupiter's zodiac and capricorn is Saturn's. They are sitting in each other's zodiac according to vedic astrology, making something called parivartan yog. In Parivartan yog, these planets become almost exalted, debilitation gets cancelled and the houses they are in, becomes important. The parivartan yog is always better if none of these planets are in the 6th, 8th or 12th house though. I think the luckiest placement here would be jupiter in 9th, saturn in 11th.

👊 Aries venus men? Why are y'all attracted to women who literally berate you, playfully beat you up and are mean to you??

🍑 I'm sorry but if you are going to involve yourself with a libra woman, know that more often than not, you're going to be "manipulated". This is because a libra woman thinks of manipulation as diplomacy or even a way of getting her way. This doesn't mean it's always negative. Libras understand that manipulation is sometimes done for the other person's good. My best friend is a libra and when I was underweight, she switched from serving me food from a small plate to a larger one to "manipulate" me to eat larger portions of food (more food looks less on larger plates) and I think it's so sweet 🥺❤️. They understand that forcing people to see a perspective is wrong so they try to not come across as forceful. They truly are diplomats of the zodiac.

❤️‍🔥 The 8th house also represents your hidden fears. In my case, I have a lilith there in leo. This sometimes manifests as icking out against leo and scorpio men. I may find them visually appealing but their traits piss me off so much.

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margotw10bis · 2 days ago

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Friendly Marriage.JJK Drabble 2

bestfriend!Jungkook x female reader

Genre: drabble; fluff (non-idol Jungkook)

Words: 1.8k

Synopsis: You accompany your best friend for his first tattoo because, well, he can't take an important step in his life without you.

"Precious and Inked" drabble from Friendly Marriage (this takes place before the main story)

You clearly remember when Jungkook’s appeal for tattoos appeared. You were six and it was summer. It was a hot day, almost unbreathable which spurred your parents to drive to the beach, willing to enjoy the faint breeze from the sea.

Obviously, you weren’t the only ones seeking to cool down and the beach was full. But as your parents were settling your stuff, Jungkook grabbed your hand and urged you to go near the salty water to play with the wet sand. It’s when your best friend saw him. The man was about twenty year old and he had a confidence that made people looked at him with curiosity — or envy. Moreover, his black swimsuit allowed the crowd to have a full view on his numerous tattoos, something that was quite rare to witness in Korea at the time. His torso, arms and back had some ink patterns here and there, without a real coherence but the whole was harmonious.

Jungkook’s doe eyes grew bigger than normal and a whispered ‘wow’ escaped his lips. It wasn’t too hard to notice his admiration and the fact was confirmed by the uncountable times he talked to you about ‘the cool drawings’ the following days. Annoyed by his sudden lack of attention to your sand construction, you slammed his arm and yelled at him to focus.

And thirteen years later, here you are.

You should have known your best friend enough to know that he would, one day, get a tattoo on his own. Somewhat you hoped he’d wait a little longer as an unconscious fear — of this decoration on his body changing his personality — has been growing bigger and bigger even since he share the date of his appointment.

“You know that your mom is going to kill you, right?”

Your remark provokes a laugh from your best friend. You know that there is no point in trying to convince him right now, as Jungkook has been bawling about getting a tattoo for months, strategically waiting for his nineteenth birthday to finally put ink on his skin. It’s not that you don’t think he hasn’t thought seriously about it but you know him: sometimes, he tends to make decision too quickly and you’re afraid he’ll regret.

“With the look in your eyes, I feel like it’s you who’s going to kill me” He teases you, his wide bunny smile on his adorable face

You sigh as you don’t understand how chill he is about such a big commitment while you, a mere witness, are stressing. A lot.

“Kook”

“I know, I know” He reassures you — just like he is able to read your mind — and wraps his arm around your shoulders “I swear I’m not going to change my mind. And it’s just a tiny tattoo, I’ll stop after that”

You both know that he won’t — and the future will give you right. You throw him a doubtful glance but how can you resist his cute pout? You cannot. And Jungkook knows it way too well.

You don’t have time to argue as the tattoo artist steps in the small and dark room you’ve been waiting. He calls out your best friend’s name and a single look at him tells you how excited he is. Just to see him as happy makes all your worries vanish and in one second, you don’t care if Jungkook decides to cover his whole body with black ink if it means he’ll get to smile like that.

“You wanna come with me?” He offers right before entering the room at the back

You hesitate but finally accept in case Jungkook would like to squeeze your hand if the pain is too much. Yet, you regret when you move the black curtain away and discover a dark room filled with a chair similar to the one in medical centers, a small stool with wheels and a table full of small cup of inks — black, blue, red, pink and every other colors. The walls are covered with sketches and the skull ones are terrifying, sending shivers down your spine.

“You want one?” The tattoo artist asks you when he notices you are looking at his art pieces

You have no problem admitting his talent, yet you absolutely don’t want a skull on your skin! You are quick to shake your head and take place next to your best friend who has taken off his shirt. You are trying your best not to look at his defined torso, not that you haven’t seen it already anyway given your numerous afternoons at the beach but Jungkook has been hitting the gym very diligently lately and well… he is hot — and this is a thought that you should absolutely not have about your best friend so you choose to focus on the material the tattoo artist is preparing.

Jungkook and the tattoo artist talk for a while, trying to find the right spot and size for the tattoo and they finally settle for the junction between the shoulder and the biceps. With that, Jungkook is pleased to lay down.

“Are you okay?” He asks and you suddenly feel stupid: you should be the one asking

“Are you?” You reply

“Yep!” He exclaims, offering you one of his reassuring smiles

The tattoo artist informs your best friend that he is going to start and the buzz sound of the machine fills the room. You are watching with attention his movements, trying to detect any unusual thing — just like you knew anything about tattoos. You just want to take care of Jungkook, he is your best friend, that’s normal.

Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to care at all about the needle in his skin. He is looking at you with an amused smile, especially when you wince as the tattoo artist stretch out a spot to apply more ink.

“Can I hold your hand?” Jungkook asks you

You immediately squeeze his fingers, worried that he is in pain.

“Does it hurt a lot?” You can’t help but question

“Yes”

Your heart tightens in your chest. However, Jungkook is not in pain at all — he only feels a mere tickling on his skin. He can’t even explain why he lied. He simply noticed that he has looked for any opportunity to hold your hand lately. Maybe it’s just because he is stressed about leaving Busan to head to the capital with you, afraid that something will change between you two, that you won’t be as close as before even if you attend the same university.

You bring Jungkook out of his thoughts when you gently pat his head, trying to soothe the imaginary pain away.

“I swear I won’t tell anyone if you cry” You whisper to him, deadly serious

If Jungkook didn’t want to expose his lie, he would have scoffed to that. Instead, he nods and thanks you. Actually, his gratitude is real: he does feel lucky to have you by his side. He knows that you are always here for him, even when he is in trouble. And most importantly, you are always here when he faces a new important step in his life.

You stay for a few hours next to him, holding his hand, caressing his head from time to time when you notice that the tattoo artist insists on one particular spot. What you don’t notice is that your best friend has not once looked at the tattoo artist: his eyes were left on you. He can’t explain — neither does he want to. He just wants to appreciate your presence next to him while he is taking such a big decision as marking his skin for life.

Turning off the machine, the tattoo artist states that he is done and he invites Jungkook to look at the artwork in the mirror. At this moment you realize that you were so focused on your best friend’s well being that you didn’t really look at the tattoo itself.

You try to tilt your head, contorting your upper body to have a peak too but Jungkook’s body is way too imposing for that. It’s only when Jungkook says that he is very satisfied and turns around that you finally get to see the freshly made tattoo and your eyes grow big.

“Kook” You whisper, breathless

“You like it?”

Jungkook notices that he really, really wishes that you do. Growing up, he’s learned not to bother about people’s opinions but you, it’s not the same. It’s not that he is seeking for your approval but he knows that he is disappointed with himself when he disappoints you. Equally, he tends to like something more if you like it too. And for this tattoo, his first tattoo, he truly hopes that you like it as it is very important for him.

“It’s… stunning!” You say after trying to find the right word but you are too moved for that

The ink piece is very delicate, objectively very beautiful but what touches you so much is the pattern: a crane. The top of its head is red, just like the one saw with Jungkook when you were young. It is one of your most previous memories. The winter of your five years old, your and Jungkook’s parents took you to the mountains. It was the first time you saw snow and you were so excited that you couldn’t sleep the first night. You spent hours looking through the window, watching the tiny snowflakes falling from the sky. At some point, a huge white bird appeared and landed close to the window. You wanted to wake up your parents so they could see but you were afraid to make too much noise and scare the bird away. And when you turned your head to spot anyone with whom you could share the show, Jungkook was there, all sleepy. You guested that he wanted to go the bathroom and you whispered-yelled his name, urging him to join you but in silence. Your best friend was amazed, just like you. His black doe eyes were so wide and shiny that you could almost see the reflection of the crane in them and, for the first time, you found your best friend very cute. You watched the crane together, elbows touching each other’s, until it flew away. The next day, you told the story to your parents but they didn’t believe you, stressing that cranes only come rarely to Korea and even less in winter. Since then, the crane was like a secret between Jungkook and you, a precious, almost intimate moment you two shared together outside the rest of the world.

“I don’t even know what to say, Kook, it’s just… perfect” You add with tears in your eyes and reaching out to squeeze his hand to share your gratefulness to have immortalized this ephemeral and secret instant

“I think it was the most magical moment of my life, and it was with you. It’s always with you, Y/N” Jungkook says with a voice thick of emotion “Thank you for coming with me today”

Read "Steal My Girl" Drabble here

I'm sorry for being inactive, this is just a little something to thank you for your patience 🩷

#bts fanfic #bts #fanfic #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jjk #jjk x reader #friendly marriage #friendly marriage drabble #margotw10bis

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chrissturnsfav · 18 hours ago

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Can you do a fic about you going on a date with a guy you met, and you go on this date and have to call Chris to save you in the middle of it because the guy starts to make you uncomfortable. Chris ends up confessing his love for you and you do the same ?

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘

chris comes to your rescue after a discomforting date, confessing his love to you.

ᰔᩚ fluff, kissing

ᰔᩚ w.c. 777

you thought it might be nice to try something new. dating apps were an experiment, and swiping through profiles felt more like a game than anything serious. when ryan asked you out, you figured, why not? his messages were clever enough, and he seemed normal—or at least, normal enough.

but now, sitting across from him at this dimly lit bar, you're regretting every decision that brought you here.

his jokes are off. not funny, just off. the kind that make your skin crawl, like he’s testing boundaries just to see how far he can push them. you fake polite laughs at first, but it only seems to encourage him.

then there’s the way he keeps leaning in, closing the space between you like he’s daring you to pull back. your drink sits untouched while you nod along to whatever he’s saying about himself—something about his ex, or maybe his job.

why the fuck was he telling you about your ex? absolutely not.

your phone feels heavy in your pocket, a lifeline you’re too nervous to grab. when he brushes your arm, the touch lingers just a second too long, and that’s it for you.

"excuse me," you mumble, slipping out of your chair. "just gonna use the bathroom."

in the cramped stall, you fumble for your phone, your hands shaking slightly as you type out a message to chris.

you hey can u call me?? this date is fucking horrible i need out read, 8:34 pm

the three dots appear almost immediately.

chris wya? read, 8:34 pm

you send the address. no hesitation.

chris i'm on my way j relax for now kid read, 8:35 pm

you exhale, leaning against the stall door. it’s going to be fine. chris always has your back.

back at the table, ryan’s irritation is thinly veiled behind a smile. "you okay? thought you ditched me for a second there."

"just a quick call," you say, forcing a smile. your phone buzzes on cue.

"sorry, gotta take this." you step away again, answering without hesitation.

"i’m outside," chris says, voice calm and steady.

the relief is instant. "okay, thanks, be right there."

you grab your bag, muttering an apology to ryan. "friend emergency. i have to go, i'm sorry."

he starts to protest, but you’re already heading for the door, your heart pounding as you step outside and spot chris sitting casually in the driver's seat.

"hey," he says once you climb into the passenger seat, his eyes scanning you like he’s making sure you’re really okay.

"hey," you reply, and just like that, the tension eases.

the car smells faintly of his cologne, familiar and grounding. "what happened?" he asks as he pulls onto the street, his tone neutral but his grip on the wheel firm.

"he was...weird," you say, shrugging. "too much. i didn’t feel safe."

chris nods, jaw tightening. "idiot," he scoffs.

you glance at him, surprised. "what?"

"him," he clarifies, glancing at you briefly. "for thinking he could get you."

you laugh, a short, nervous sound. “c'mon. it’s not like that.”

he doesn’t respond right away, just keeps driving. finally, he pulls into the parking lot of your apartment and turns to face you, one arm draped over the steering wheel.

"nah, it is like that," he says, voice low but steady. "you deserve better. someone you didn't randomly meet on tinder, who probably just wants to fuck. need someone who actually sees you."

you blink, unsure how to respond. "chris..."

he shakes his head, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "i mean, i’ve been your best friend for years, and i’ve tried to play it cool, but i kinda can’t anymore."

the words hang in the air, heavy and electric.

"say something," he says, his confidence faltering just slightly.

you stare at him, heart pounding. "i think...i’ve been waiting for you to say that."

his smirk softens into a real smile, the kind that makes your chest ache in the best way. "yeah?"

"yeah."

he leans in, slow enough that you can stop him if you want to, but you don’t. when his lips meet yours, it’s not rushed or hungry like all the other kisses you've experienced with men you've met on dates. it’s warmth, steady and sure, like this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

when he pulls back, his eyes are brighter, his smile a little smug. "took you long enough," he scoffs.

you laugh, shaking your head. "shut up and drive me to get ice cream."

he chuckles, throwing the car into reverse. "whatever you want."

and for the first time all night, you feel completely at ease.

thank you for reading!! <3

tags: @sturnobsessedwh0re , @idrk2292 , @mattsbrat , @ribbonlovergirl , @sturnhyyhblog , @matthewsroses , @mattsdemi , @emely9274 , @frankoceanfanpage , @ifwdominicfike , @marrykisskilled , @strnilolover , @cayleeuhithinknott , @forgottxen , @sophand4n4 , @sturnsrecord , @purpledragon222 , @faiyaz555 , @jocelyncsblog , @freakiolos , @slut4chris888 , @chriss-slutt , @ilovedanielcaesar , @annsx03 , @snoopychris , @chrissweetheart

@chrissturnsfav ™

#chrissturnsfav ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #christopher sturniolo x reader

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dailynnt · 1 day ago

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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘Number of part: 20/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Can you imagine that this is the 20th part? 🫣 I remember being shocked when I wrote 10 parts, and now it's 20. 🤭 By the way, this is about the middle of the story. What did you guys think of this part? Let me know in the comments. 🙏🏻 Do you think they'll make up quickly this time? 🤔

⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜 Bright times will come and you will be happy, my love 🥺💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @byeolluvher (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 20. House of Cards.

The sensation of cold metal on your lips brings you back to consciousness. But you don't want to open your eyes. What's the point? What will you see when you open your eyes? Shouldn't you stay still until Jungkook comes for you?

Jungkook. That name sounds like a life preserver. Jungkook. Where is he? Why did he let this happen to you? Is he looking for you? Does he know you've been kidnapped? Will he make it before these people do something to you?

The sharp tip of the knife rests against your lips, pressing. But you don't open your eyes. The knife leaves an unpleasant mark on your jaw, on your cheeks.

"Jungkook…That fucking bastard." - You hear it very close and somewhere above your head. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Now I have the opportunity to take revenge on him by cutting his sweet whore almost to straw." - You feel your heart start to beat fast. It's as if there's a little bird inside your chest begging to be free and ready to smash against the cage just to be free.

Are you afraid of being hurt? Yes. You scared. Will it hurt? Probably yes. You gather your courage and open your eyes. The darkness of the warehouse, lit by only one lamp, created an oppressive atmosphere. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear the sound of water drops falling on a metal surface. Your heart was pounding so loudly that it seemed to drown out even this sound.

A man stood in front of you, tall and stout, with rough features and a sparse beard. His eyes burned with hatred, and in his hands he was clutching a knife that looked like it was used to freshly cut the carcasses of dead animals.

Meeting his hateful glare in his eyes, you felt your insides twist into a tight knot. It was painful.

"Oh, finally, our beauty has woken up." - You don't know how long you were unconscious. The last thing you remember is being brought to an abandoned warehouse and this man, who standing in front of your eyes, ordered no one to touch you. Only to watching for you. The conversation stopped and you felt a prick in your neck and lost consciousness.

You were sitting on a chair tied up. Your hands were tied behind your back, aching with pain. Your legs were also tied, and your body was aching. You were freezing. Although you were wearing a coat, it was unbuttoned. Your thigh was visible, and your neckline was also on display. You were uncomfortable with this bastard looking at you, inspecting your body.

The man stretched his cracked lips in a nasty smile, running the tip of the knife across your cheek again, but not cutting the skin. His voice sounded ominous, and you felt every word burning you from the inside.

"Are you waiting for your saviour?" - He asks with venom in his voice. He takes the knife away from your face and touches his watch with the hand he was holding it with. "He's taking his time. You've been here for more than 5 hours." - He looks at you and you realize that it's about 7 am. "Do you think I should have played with you right away?" - He puts the knife to your neck again, this time forcing you to turn your head away.

"What did he do to you?" - You say quietly, trying to stay calm, even though your hands and feet were shaking with fear. You decided to stall for time, to start a conversation and maybe better understand why you were here.

The man was in no hurry to answer you. He ran the knife down from your neck to your chest. He was standing over you, too close, and you were very scared and disgusted at the same time.

"What did he do? Oh, girl, you can't even imagine." - He said with a smile on his lips, ugly and crazy.

"I can, if you tell me." - You say more boldly. The man wiggles his eyebrows sensing your tone.

"I had a company. A legitimate business. Not a big one, but it worked. Logistics, warehouses, transportation. And then he comes along, this dumbass and his gang." - He finally starts to speak. He squeezes the handle of the knife and presses it into the gap between your breasts. "They came to me like predators. They said I 'owed them money'. This bastard told me that Namjun was waiting for his money, but I had paid all the debts I had. I didn't understand why they sent your guy to me." - The man took a step away from you and turned his back as if thinking aloud. "But you know what? It turned out they wanted to get the securities I had. Namjoon thought I should give them to them voluntarily. And when I didn't, they sent your nice boy and he grabbed me and tortured me for eight fucking hours." - The man says and turns to you.

"Did he really do that to you?" - You ask. When he turns to you, you see his face distorted by anger.

"He beat me, cut me, burned my skin, he broke almost every bone in my body. As I was lying on the ground, bleeding, this little psychopath whispered to me that if I didn't voluntarily give them the shares of my company and the papers that Namjoon wanted, they would force me to do it. Do you know how?" - The man turned to you and poked you again with the knife. It was painful, and you felt a drop of blood leak out of your cheek.

"How?" - You asked in a trembling voice.

"He showed me a picture of my little girl, who they watched , and said he would do things to her that would make me not only want to give up the company myself, but that I would sell my soul to the devil." - Your captor growls. You freeze in horror. No. Jungkook would never do that. He would never hurt a little child. This is definitely not Jungkook.

"He would never lay a finger on a little child. You're lying!" - You snapped. A hard blow landed on your lip. It was a fist or a slap, you don't know for sure, but your lip instantly went numb and you felt a metallic taste in your mouth.

"Who gave you the right to raise your voice to me, bitch?" - The kidnapper shouted at you, hitting you painfully. You looked up at him and glared. He grabbed you by the hair, pulling your head back, and came closer. "This piece of shit is going to pay for everything now. Did you think you knew him? You don't. He's a cold-blooded killer, and I'm just lucky to be alive. My wife left me and took our child when she found out I was threatened and that I had given away my company. I lost everything because of him."

"If you hate Jungkook so much, why don't you deal with him personally? Do you haven’t the guts? Do you? Do you think that by grabbing me, you'll pay him back in kind?" - You asked boldly. It was foolish of you. You're not in the best condition to throw out words like that. But that's you, your sharp tongue hasn't gone away.

"What a long tongue you have!" - The kidnapper laughed. "I can easily shorten it for you." - He squeezed your hair tighter.

"Only cowards do that." - You provoked. "You could meet him and talk to him like a man. You could have called your henchmen for help and resolved the old issue. And you kidnapped me, and you think he'll feel bad if you hurt me?" - The man looks at you with contempt. His lips are pressed into a thin line. "You know he'll come and you'll be dead. You could have been smart and taken him by surprise, but you chose to act in a primitive wa..." - You didn't finish speaking because you got hit in the face again. It hurt so much. It woke you up. You shouldn't talk like that, in front of a man who holds a knife and can cut you without hesitation.

"Shut your mouth!" - He snarled. "You have no idea what you're talking about or what you're getting yourself into. I'm going to make him feel what I've been feeling all along. The fear. The despair. The pain. And you're going to help me do that, little one."

"I won't do anything for you." - You wheezed, shaking with pain.

"Oh, you already have. You're his weakness. Now he will run around like a mad dog trying to find you. And when he does, I'll make sure you see him suffer." - Your captor growled.

You were silent, trying to gather strength to defend yourself somehow. Your head was spinning and your body was in pain, but you didn't let yourself break.

"When Jungkook comes, you will that one who feel pain, despair, and fear again. You know that." - You say sharply. The man laughs at how restless you are.

"Do you know what people are the most frightening? Those who have nothing to lose. And I am exactly like that. I have nothing. And your Jungkook took it all away from me." - He stops talking. He looks at you, wondering where to start. "I'm looking forward to him. Now let's decorate your beautiful skin with perfect cuts." - Says your captor. He touches your cheek with the knife and you hold your breath. Another moment and he will cut your face. Suddenly you hear the sound of a struggle. The kidnapper also hears something happening outside.

"Has Jungkook really come? I have to go meet him with honors." - You see the man shove the knife into the sheath and a moment later pull out a gun. You are frozen with horror. The man loads the weapon and walks to the exit of the warehouse.

Your brain is working at full capacity. You hear screams, sounds of blows. You try to figure out how to free yourself from the ropes. But your arms and legs are tied so tightly that you can barely move.

You are literally petrified when you hear a few shots and everything goes silent. It's quiet. And you hear the drops drumming on the metal in time with your heartbeat. The door opens and you see someone coming. Because of the light shining in your face, you hope it's Jungkook. From the way he looks, it's him.

"Jungkook..." - You cry, calling out to your boyfriend. When he ends up next to your lap, you don't immediately realize that it's not Jungkook. It's Doohoon. Tears wash away your mascara, closing your eyes. You blink your eyes open and finally see clearly. He still has the bruises under his eyes, the marks of Jungkook's beatings.

"Candy..." - He touches your cheek with cold fingers. You cry harder. You're actually glad that Doohoon is here. It doesn't matter who he is. What matters is that he came to save you. How did he find you so quickly? Was it because he was following you? "Bastards. What did they do?" - He wipes away the blood running from the wound on his lip.

"How did you find me?" - You ask in a shaky voice. Doohoon hurries to untie you. He unties your hands first. Your wrists burn with pain. You rubbed them with your hands to ease the pain. You waited for him to respond, but he was in no hurry to answer. Doohoon knelt down and began to untie your legs.

"I saw you run out of Jimin's club. I was right behind you. I texted you, when you were there. I knew something bad had happened. I went after you and wanted to pick you up...." - You were so focused on Doohoon words and his movements trying to free you from the ropes that you didn't hear someone appear next to you.

It's like you're in slow motion, seeing Doohoon flying backwards with great force. You see Jungkook grabbing him by the collar and punching him in the face, decorating his face with a new bruise.

"You fucking shit!" - Jungkook yelled. You had to react somehow. You saw Jungkook beating Doohoon, who was covering his face with his hands to shield himself from the blows. Jungkook pushed Doohoon against the wall and continued to beat him.

"Jungkook!" - You called to get his attention. You called out to your boyfriend again and again to get him to pay attention to you, but it seemed like his main goal was to destroy Doohoon.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, motherfucker!" - Jungkook yelled between punches. At some point, while you were trying to untie your legs, Doohoon fought back against Jungkook. He seized the moment and punched Jungkook in the face. Jungkook fell back on, not expecting to miss Doohoon’s fist.

You released your legs and stood up. Your legs were shaking and you were dizzy. You had to stop the fight that was happening. You froze in horror when you were almost to them and saw Jungkook pull out a gun and point it at Doohoon’s face. He loaded the gun in a matter of seconds.

Doohoon froze just like you, but he didn't look scared. In fact, he was trying to hold back a smile. With his peripheral vision, he sees you standing behind Jungkook with terror on your face.

"Jungkook, I came to save Y/N..." - Doohoon says, his voice desperate.

"I'll make a sieve out of your head." - Jungkook said coldly. "This is all your fault, you fucking bastard. I know."

"Are you crazy? I didn't kidnap her, it wasn't me." - Doohoon almost doesn't cry. He makes his voice sound so innocent that your heart clenches in your chest. Jungkook doesn't look like himself. He looks like the monster you saw in Niseko again.

You see Jungkook breathing heavily. He's so focused on Doohoon and the possibility of destroying him that he doesn't even pay attention to you. He didn't come over to you when you were tied up. Did he not care what happened to you? And if you were lying unconscious, all cut up, he really would have run to kill Doohoon first thing in, too?

You see Jungkook take a step toward Doohoon and put the muzzle of the gun directly to his forehead.

"You bore me." - He says. Jungkook takes the safety off the gun and you realize that in the state Jungkook is in now, he can do anything.

You run to them and shout at the top of your lungs.

"JUNGKOOK ENOUGH!" - Your voice echoes in the warehouse and your eyes finally meet the two black buttons. Jungkook sees your bruised lip and the cut on your cheek. There are traces of smeared blood on your chin. Your mascara is smeared black on your cheeks. Your eyes are red, like you've been crying a lot. It hurts Jungkook to see what these assholes have done to you. He's going to kill everyone who hurt you, and he's going to start with Doohoon, who's responsible for kidnapping you.

"Baby..." - Jungkook says quietly, still holding the gun pointed at Doohoon.

At that moment, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and a few other guys run into the warehouse. You stare at them indifferently for a second and then turn your gaze to Jungkook.

"Let him go. He saved me, and you want to kill him?" - You ask colorlessly.

"This is his handiwork. He set up this kidnapping..." - Jungkook explains. But that's not possible, because the kidnapper told you everything. And it wasn't Doohoon who took everything from the man who kidnapped you.

"What are you talking about?" - You ask, almost crying again. "The man who kidnapped me told me everything. You tortured him for eight hours to make him give the company to your boss and threatened to kill his little child. He went crazy, the man dreamed of take revenge with you, threatening to cut me into pieces. And you blame Doohoon for kidnapping me?" - All you hear was your voice filled with hysteria. You grabbed your hair, realizing the danger you were in because of your relationship with Jungkook. You were sick from the sleeping pills, from your nerves, and from the terrible Jungkook, who turned out to be a real wolf pretending to be a sheep. Everything you knew about your "best friend" and "boyfriend" was a lie and an illusion that he skillfully showed to you and his family.

"Let's all calm down." - You heard Hosok's voice. You looked at him and felt a wave of anger wash over you. The only one who was happy about the whole situation was Doohoon. Without showing his satisfaction, he was quietly rejoicing that his plan had worked out in the best possible way.

"It's your fault, Jeon, that I'm the here. Don't put the blame on someone else. You couldn't protect me, even though you promised me you would more than once." - You said. Your voice became hard because it was filled with anger and frustration. "I was really a fool to think that we could be a couple. I didn't see or realize who you really were. My feelings for you closed my eyes to your true personality, which I see right now. It's not Doohoon's fault that you've become what you are. You make your own decisions and do the things that you will be responsible for." - You stop talking, and everyone around you is stunned, like statues, frozen in place. Jungkook puts down the gun and wants to approach you.

"Baby... you have it all wrong...." - Jungkook says as he approaches you. You take a few steps back. Again, you are afraid of him, and now you are really afraid. Because you don't know the man in front of you. He only has the appearance of a man you've known since childhood.

"Don't even think about coming near me, Jeon." - You say, holding out your hand. "I don't want to know you anymore. I don't want anything to do with you." - Jungkook freezes. He feels like he's been hit in the chest with a hammer. Your words wound his soul. He looks at you and wants to hug you, wants to lean against you and hide you in his arms. Jungkook is a fool. He let everything happen: falling in love with you, telling you who he really is, having someone kidnap you, allowed Doohoon to do everything to make you think he was the really scumbag. It looks like Jungkook is really to blame and shouldn't be blaming anyone else. It's completely his fault.

"You need to go to the hospital." - Jungkook said. "Jimin will take you..." - He offered you.

"No." - You cut him off. "I'm not going with any of these thugs." - You say. Doohoon almost laughs out loud. You're a fire. He always knew you were sharp with your tongue. Unlike Doohoon, Jimin can't hold back his laughter. Everyone looks at him, especially Jungkook, who raises his eyebrows.

"Give me my phone back. I'll get out of here." - You tell Jungkook, knowing that he has your phone. Jungkook silently reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out your phone. He takes a step toward you and you take the phone away.

"Please, baby, if you don't want to go with me or Jimin, then go with Taehyung or Hoseok. You need to see a doctor." - Jungkook pleads with you.

"I don't need you to take care of me." - You say as you walk over to Doohoon. You take his hand and throw it over your shoulder. "I'm going to leave here with Doohoon. And God forbid you follow us. I'll call the police on you." - You say. You want to take a step with Doohoon, and then you laugh hysterically. "Oh right, who am I talking to. The mafia that controls the police. If the police don't protect me, I think…your mother will. Seems she's more powerful than the Seoul police." - You stare fiercely into Jungkook's angry gaze at you. "I'll tell her everything if you try to get close to me." - You threaten. A second's silence almost physically presses on everyone present. "Do you understand me, Jeon?" - You ask.

You don't wait for an answer. You and Doohoon walk away and you don't see that Jungkook is simply devastated. He is destroyed by your words and actions. From the very beginning, your relationship was like a house of cards. You and Jungkook were seduced by the possibility of feeling love, building a fragile house of cards which of fate that gave you false hope. And the real world destroyed that house in one day.

Three weeks later

Three weeks have passed, but the wounds from the experience still hurt. Not only bruises on your skin, but also deep scars in your soul. You feel empty, as if something important was torn from your heart. All these days you tried to cope, you got a job, set up a new apartment, taking things from Jungkook's apartment when he wasn’t be at home (on the third day of the new year). You tried to find a footing in your new life. But every night, thoughts of Jungkook returned like shadows.

Your mind is filled with questions: how could you have been so blind? How could you not notice Jungkook's dark side, which used to be just a vague feeling, but now became clear and obvious?

The image of him beating Doohoon and holding a gun to his head haunts you. That moment turned your perception of him upside down. He is not just the man you loved. He's a gangster. A dangerous one. Unpredictable. And although your heart screams that he is like that because of his circumstances, your mind says otherwise: you don't belong with him.

At the same time, you feel guilty. You've seen his other side, the gentle, caring one, the one who would give up everything for you. But even these memories are shattered by reality. You are afraid of him, afraid of who he has become, or who he has always been. And this fear destroys all hope. Everything fell apart in one moment, like a house of cards.

You wake up when the sun has already set. Today is your night shift at the convenience store you got a job at in your new neighborhood. There were many advantages to working there. The salary is enough for rent, the store is close to your new apartment. The scholarship will be enough to live on.

The fourth year is about to start. You will be writing your thesis. Your head is swollen with how you are going to combine study and work. You have to try again. But to be honest, you don't have much of a choice. You can't go back to Suwon to live with your parents because they still think you live alone in the apartment and are doing fine, even though you look back at your shadow even during the day. Now every man is a potential kidnapper for you. And you are afraid that Jungkook is watching you. Maybe he is, but you haven't seen or heard anything suspicious in the three weeks you've lived without him. And there hasn't been a single news from Jungkook himself. Not a text, not a call. Nothing.

You put on a black oversized hoodie and wide black pants to make yourself look big and more like a boy than a girl. You came up with the idea to do this when you were dressed to work in a store. This peculiar disguise may not have worked properly, but it made you feel at ease.

Luckily for you, in the two weeks you've been working in the store, working at night has been quite pleasant, the only trigger is being sleepy even if you've slept during the day, and maybe some grumpy man who wants to get free lunchboxes that will only expire at the end of the day.

Doohoon also bored you off a lot. He helped you find an apartment and had a habit of coming to see you whenever he felt like it. Of course, you rarely let him in, and you could almost always come up with some excuse, but there were a few times when you just couldn't do it. You are annoyed by his pre-housekeeping, he thinks he can throw money at you and you will idolize him. He reassures you that he is just "your good friend" who helps you in your time of need, and you tell him that you have had enough "friends" in your life and that he should leave you alone. But he just laughs and doesn't take your words seriously.

You put a deep hood over your head so that you can't see your face and pull on your jacket. In 15 minutes you will reach the store and take over the shift from your partner Sunchol. He's boring to tears and has a joke flatter than the ground.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you take it out to see who could have texted you so late. Of course, you already guessed, even before you see for Dohun's name on the phone.

"Candy, I can take you to the university tomorrow. I remember when you talked to Suyong on the phone and you agreed that you would go together to choose a topic for your diploma. I have some business tomorrow in the area of your campus, so we're on the way 😉"

You read the message and close the cocoa-talk without answering Doohoon. You roll your eyes upwards. Your eyes seem to see inside your skull. It's so annoying, he's so intrusive. You'd rather travel across Seoul by subway and bus ten times by yourself than be in Doohoon's company for an extra 40 minutes. Even if the trip takes 1.5 hours, you're calm and nothing stresses you out.

You come to work, change your clothes. You take over from your partner's shift. You tolerate his several stupid, flat jokes, almost politely, and get to work. Actually, today you had to arrange the new ramen that arrived, remove the expired food boxes from the display window, and that's it.

You didn't start working right away, around twelve o'clock in the morning, you had people coming in, and you served people almost one by one. When the flow of people ended, you were able to start arranging the goods. You did the ramen quickly. The food boxes were next in line.

You had almost finished collecting the expired food when you heard the sound of the "wind song", which meant that someone had come. You went to the counter where the cash register was and saw Mr. Yon. He was a man of about 45 and he worked in the police. You were friends with him and had interesting conversations about his work. He came in early today. You looked at the clock and saw 12.21. He usually came for groceries at 1 am or even 2 am. His work took up all his free time, so he didn't have a family.

"Are you going to have dinner early, Mr. Yon?" - You asked with a smile on your lips, holding a whole stack of food boxes. The man heard you and walked over, smiling back.

"Good night, beautiful. You're working so hard, isn't it hard for you? Let me help you." - Mr. Yon offered to help you. You shook your head in refusal.

"Thanks, but no. I've already done it. You choose what you want to eat, and I'll go to the service room and leave the boxes. That's all I have to do and my night is free." - You say. Mr. Yon smiles at you awkwardly, scratches the back of his head, and walks to the shelves with the kimpabs. You put the expired food in the warehouse and hurry back behind the counter.

Mr. Yon is taking pibimbap, onigiri with tuna in an egg, and fish cake with soup.

"How was your day today? Did you finally find out who stole that van?" - You asked about the case Mr. Yon was working on. You had a warm relationship with him, so he sometimes shared details of his work with you. Mr. Yon smiled that you were interested in his case and replied in a friendly manner.

"Yes, I know who is him. Now I just need to find him and then everything will become clearer." - The detective replies. The two of you listen to the sound of the cash register, and the man lets out a scream. You smile in confusion.

"I forgot to get a makgeolli, I want to relax a little." - He says and goes to the shelves with the algogol. While you're packing and waiting for Mr. Yon, someone else enters the store. The sound of the "wind song" doesn't let you miss anyone.

You see out of the corner of your eye that it is a young man dressed in all black. He has a cap on his head, also black, and a wide hood over it. He does not raise his head to you, so you do not greet him. He keeps his hands in his karmas and walks to the shelves of ramen’s. You look ordinary, but you feel some slight tension. In any case, you have nothing to fear. There is a detective nearby. Should you ask him to stay until this guy leaves?

Mr. Yon returns with a bottle of makgeolli and two cans of Heineken. You punch the alcohol and name the amount. Mr. Yon pays, and you watch the guy picking out the ramen. His cap hides his face well. You take the money and count the change. You want to ask the detective to stay with you and talk for a while (until this suspicious guy leaves), but while you're counting the money, his phone rings.

"Yes." - Mr. Yon answers the phone. He is silent for a long moment, you give him the change and he takes it. "I'm at the convenience store near my house right now, but I can be there in 20 minutes. Wait for me and interview the witnesses when I get there." - Mr. Yon takes the whole bag of food in his hands and smiles at you disappointedly. "I guess I won't be able to relax as much as wanted, and it’s seems I didn’t be able to eat dinner too." - You smile nervously. The detective won't be able to stay. Okay, then you'll have to taken the “panic” button.

"It's just the way the job is. What will you do?" - You say politely.

"That's right. Have a cood night, beautiful, I'll see you tomorrow?" - He asks, getting ready to leave.

"Yes, I'm working the night shift again tomorrow." - You say kindly. Mr. Yon throws you a satisfied smile.

"See you then." - He says and leaves. You stay behind the counter and feel your tension rising. The guy in black is standing by the shelves with ramen as the detective leaves. You sit down on a chair, put the panic button in your pocket, which was meant to be used to call a private security service. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the guy go to the shelves with kimpabs and onigiri. He took some food and headed in your direction.

You don't know why, but your heart started pounding and your breathing became rapid. You tried to calm him down.

"Good night." - You greeted him, not looking up when the young man came to the counter. You waited for him to put the food on the table so you could run it through the cash register.

Your heart sank to your heels as he placed the ramen on the table and you saw the tattoo on his arm. A purple heart near his thumb, a crown on his index finger, an inscription with his initials, and an emoticon with a curved eyebrow that conveys irony or sarcasm. These tattoos can belong to only one person.

"Good night." - You hear a velvety voice, with a slight hoarseness. The voice you missed so much. A voice that instantly set your whole being on fire.

Jungkook was standing in front of you, smiling slightly, and you wanted to fall through the ground just to avoid seeing him. Just not to hear that your favorite voice. You seem to have forgotten how to breathe. You come to when he steals a box of cooked rice and a few corndogs next to ramen. You don't know what to do. But you're in a fog, so you look down and punch the goods.

Jungkook does not continue the dialog with you. He doesn't ask you anything, just waits in silence for you to tell him how much the food is.

"5900 won." - You don't say it as confidently as you want to sound.

"I will card payment, please." - He says. And you feel like you're in an invisible press. You're nervous and it shows in your hands, which tremble as you get ready the payment to the card.

Jungkook sees your hands shaking, but he doesn't say anything. He is trembling just like you, only inside. He has been wanting to come to you for so long. He forbade himself all three Sundays, which he barely lived without you. But his desire was unbearable. He had to see you, he had to hear your sweet voice, without which he cannot imagine his life. That why he here.

Jungkook doesn't know how to fix everything. He realizes that he has ruined everything. He turned their relationship into a house of cards, and now it's fallen down. But he has to start from the beginning. He wants you by his side, and if it takes years, he won't hesitate to spend them. This time he will try to control everything and make sure that no one lays a finger on you. He knows he can do it no matter what it takes.

That's why he doesn't say anything to you, he just stands there quietly and admires your beautiful face. Damn, have you become even more beautiful? Have you become even more attractive? Have you always been this fascinating?

Jungkook puts the card on the counter and the payment sounds. Jungkook takes the food.

"Does the microwave work here?" - Jungkook asks, taking a step away from the counter. You stare at him, not sure whether to lie to make him leave or tell him the truth that he's staying. Jungkook is waiting too. He knows. That if you tell the truth, it will be a sign to him that you want him to stay.

"It's working." - You say without looking at him. Your desire to have him around is stronger than any common sense you've ever had. You want to be with him. Let him eat in one place near you.

Let him stay in your life forever.

↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱

Note from author: By the way, for this part, I was inspired by the BTS song "House of Cards". It always reminded me of the motives of the mafia. And I also thought it perfectly described Y/N and Jungkook's relationship in my story at this particular stage. So if you want to, listen to this song while reading chapter 20.

#jungkook x reader #bts #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x f!reader #jungkook smut #jungkook friends with benefits #bts mafia au #bts fanfction #Spotify

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iamconstantine · 2 days ago

Text

arcane characters as college staff

Mel

History professor

Refers to all students by (honorific) (surname)

Nothing but praise on ratemyproffesor

“I didn’t like history until I took Professor Medarda’s class”

Doesn’t write scholarly articles, just giant ass books that she pumps out almost every year somehow

Quickly responds to emails. No response = its in the syllabus

“Is there any make up work I can do to get my grade up—“ Absolutely not

But if you go the writing center you can get extra credit

Every year her students ask for an extension on the final project and every year she gives a long and furious rant about how the project was visible online from Day 1 and they had all semester to work on it

She has a beautiful office that looks like a miniature library and she only sees students by appointment

Jayce

Physics professor

Is a prolific author but somehow can’t figure out how to set up the course online

Prints cheesy physics memes

Every zoom meeting begins with 1000 messages saying “professor Talis we can’t hear you your mic isn’t on�� every. time.

you can come see him in his office any time, door’s always open

but his office is so messy you probably won’t be able to sit because he has a stack of papers on every chair

“Everyone got this question on the exam wrong so I’m going to give everyone credit because that means i didn’t teach it properly”

Always throws an end-of-year party at his place

Caitlyn

English Literature professor

would win best dressed of the staff, always shows up in the slacks-and-blazer fit

“To understand why the narrator wears red shoes, we need to take a look at the sociopolitical state of Edinburgh in 1864.”

if you reply to a discussion board post with just “I agree” you’re not getting credit and it isn’t up for discussion

Never reads contemporary fiction. The “newest” book she’s read is The Great Gatsby

“We’re not having a party but if you want to bring snacks and soda to the last day of class that’s fine”

Covers a lot of authors but it somehow always comes back to Emily Dickenson

Is that teacher that assigns 400-page books every week

Constantly publishing in lit journals (rumor has it she writes steamy open-door romance books under a pen-name but no one has confirmed this)

Ekko

Art professor

You have to actively screw up to get a bad grade with him

He wrote thousands of letters to the board until they caved and gave the class a proper kiln

“Write a three-page essay explaining why AI art is not art and insisting otherwise is spitting in the face of humankind. Double spaced. Due Friday 11:59”

Throws back coffee. Has a coffeemaker in the studio. Two of them.

“Hey guys some of you are submitting assignments at 2 in the morning. It can wait until the next day. Please get some sleep.”

He’s created awe-inspiring pieces but if you just wanna paint a frog wearing a hat he’ll say “that’s cool”

Says he knows who banksy is but will never tell

He gets way too deep in the zone. Once reached for his coffee cup while painting, drank paint water instead. Didn’t notice.

Jinx

Chemistry professor

If you email her the response will be “k” or “no” and nothing else

Waits until twenty minutes after the class begins to email everyone that class is canceled

Never wears a coat, goggles, or gloves. But will call out students if they don’t

takes 5 years to post grades

“Look I’m not remembering any names. Too many. If I’m talking to you I’ll just point”

Puts a meme on the projector every day. Mostly incomprehensible. Picture of a horse on an beach and it just says “Zimbabwe”

lowest score on ratemyprofessor

someone creates a website called ratemystudent and administration has no proof that it was her because technically the students with bad scores being the same students that get bad grades in her class can be coincidental

Viktor

Biomedical engineering professor

Only professor who still uses chalkboards

First day of class is first day of class. No reviewing the syllabus, turn to page 34 in your textbook.

Puts things in the syllabus to catch people who use ChatGPT. If you’re caught, you’re removed from his class. Immediately. You will not get to plead your case.

Most of his cited sources are himself

Literally begs students to thrift their textbooks online instead of buying them from the school. Provides free PDFs as often as he can.

He reads journals every day and will write personal letters to authors he disagrees with

If a student asks a particularly dumb question he’ll step out of the room for ten minutes to compose himself and then resume teaching like nothing happened

Not a professor, works at the on-campus gym and leads clubs

Constantly curses without batting an eye. Students will leave class with their very uptight professor then come to the soccer club where vi walks in like “sorry I’m late guys i had a motherfucker of a headache this morning”

Please don’t ask her about anything that isn’t club or sport related. If you ask for directions or how to get in contact with student services she’s got nothing

If she refs for a game and you’re on the opposing team you’d better watch yourself. She will rip you a new one if you break any rules. One time a player grabbed one of her member’s mask during a game and he left crying after Vi was done with him

Students run into her at the local hangouts a lot but it’s never awkward. just reminds you not to party too hard before the game tomorrow

Leads pretty much every club but dance. Wouldn’t admit it but she has no sense of rhythm and refuses to even do it as a student

You can call her coach or captain or just Vi, whatever you want. But if you call her Violet she’ll stare you down until you correct yourself

Heimerdinger

Anthropology professor

Spends the first day of class getting to know everyone. “We’re going to go around and give our names and a fun fact about ourselves!”

Gives the “Nacirema” assignment and can’t wait to tell everyone the catch

His classroom is filled with artifacts. Don’t ask about any of them because it will take up class time

If you can’t make it to class he sends really nice responses saying he understands, then checks in when you come back

The only thing that puts him in a bad mood is the “why do anthropologists study dinosaurs if anthropology is about people” question. He’s old and tired

Keeps thinking about retiring, keeps changing his mind

Silco

Political science professor

His classroom is bare and blank. No life. Just fluorescent lights and chairs.

Brags about how few people pass his class

Very strict on attendance. Too many absences and you’re out.

If the assignment is due at 11:59 and you turn it in at 12:00, it’s late

“I am quite interested to hear why you believe you are deserving of a higher grade when you’ve spent less than thirty minutes attending all of my classes combined. Please, continue.”

Will straight up roast other professors no problem. Encourages students to pass it along

He encourages debate but the only thing students debate about outside of class is whether he’s hot or creepy af

Final project is a choice between A) A ten-page essay on why there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, or B) a presentation on why the country is doomed

Vander

Education professor

Makes his own series of Crash Course-esque videos

Comes to class in jeans at best. Sweats, sometimes.

He has one coffee mug that says #1 Dad and he refuses to use anything else

He puts fun questions on his exams, like riddles. If no one gets it, he actually gets sad

Whenever he erases the whiteboard he always misses a spot. He’s that professor.

If he catches you plagiarizing, you get one pass before he reports it. But you have to come to his office so he can tell you how disappointed he is and how much potential you have

He gives a seminar about how worried he is for the future of education and the wellbeing of the next generation and everyone leaves feeling guilty. Everyone.

Make a pop culture reference in class and everything will grind to a halt so you can explain it to him. Visuals help.

Sevika

Librarian

If you play music in the library she’ll walk up to you and just go “are you joking”

Have a phone call on speaker and she’s hanging it up for you

There’s signs telling you to be quiet every three feet

If you see her outside of school no you didn’t

She’s in charge of leading classes on accessing academic databases and she fucking hates it

Somehow knows where every book is down to the shelf. She’ll tell you what you’re looking for before you can finish your sentence

technically she’s supposed to do a walkthrough before closing for the night but if you can’t read the library hours on the signs it’s your fault if you get locked in

#Arcane #vi arcane #caitlyn kiramman #viktor arcane #jayce talis #jinx arcane #silco #vander #heimerdinger #sevika #ekko #Mel medarda

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molter-writes · 2 days ago

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pleeeasssee miller i know you let the work stand on it's own but please tell us jsut a tad bit more about the valyerian sex magic!!!!

i meannnn

on valyrian sex magic

i am not the person to ask for the true asoiaf lore, of course; but there is obviously a pervasive source of magic across Planetos — accessible by many cultures in many different forms — and the "flavour" of the magic of each is very much a reflection, i think, of what GRRM wants us to glean about each. the Starks are themselves effectively the oldest singular consistent human organisation, if you will, that we actually meet in the books, and their magic is extremely rudimentary and primordial—they turn into animals and talk to trees. It's giving primordial man, it's giving Lucy—humanity as a symbiotic participant in (rather than an editor of) the natural world.

fast forward almost five thousand years: the valyrians are not tree hugging hunter-gatherers. they are the roman empire if the roman empire were composed of evil wizards. Their magic is dark, rooted in blood and fire—it was a tool of mind control, of asymmetric warfare, of wroth destruction. It required blood sacrifice and whips and horns and knives. It mated slave women to animals to produce grotesque chimeras. The entire thing is about the subjugation, not the embrace, of nature. Obviously until we have WoW or (lol) aDoS, we won't know—and maybe not even then—but the best prevailing theory in my view is that blood of the dragon is literal. Planetos has wyverns and, more importantly, firewyrms (flightless, firebreathing lizards) that the Valyrians almost certainly combined with human beings in some ritualistic hellcurse to produce the first dragons. this explains (1) the psychogenic bond between rider and dragon; (2) why nobody without valyrian blood can ride one; (3) the decline of the dragons correlating near-perfectly with the Andalisation (read: de-magifying) of the Targaryens; and perhaps most importantly, (4) why an animal that can fly hundreds of miles in a day would for some reason be found only on a single small isle in some random corner of a massive content that has volcanos and mountains and hot weather elsewhere. only one culture having dragons is like only one airport having planes.

much like the american NRA often asserts about guns, dragons are something of a sexual equaliser. part of why rhaenyra is so much freer than alicent when they're young is not merely because of her elevated social station (which is a principal part of it, yes) but also because she is in sole possession of one of the only six nukes in the world. At fifteen Rhaenyra possesses the power to go burn Riverrun to its foundation. I mean, if you thought Daenerys had firepower—regardless of D&D's absolute boneheaded visual mistakes in the show—Syrax is bigger than Drogon.

in any case i digress; i bring this up to make the point that while we do know valyria was a patriarchy of sorts, you can imagine a world in which a valyrian noble house would be headed (on occasion) by a woman because she is the most powerful imperial military leader because she is in command of the largest dragon. as a result, you can imagine a culture that embraces less patriarchal sexual and gender politics than do the Andals, and when take this inference a step further with the chimeras and the dragon-making and all the other frankensteinian blood magic, i just don't think it's that much of a leap to imagine that some dragon-wielding all-powerful female ruthless blood wizard in ancient Valyria decided—based on blood purity or necessity or ego or whatever—to impregnate some other woman. some maesters recorded that dragons appeared to change their sex—becoming able and unable to lay and fertilise eggs. Anyway, I just don't put genderbending and fempreg past the people who—if the theory is right—invented fucking dragons. It seems easier to do magic pregnancy than to do dragons. idk. melisandre gave birth to a shadow. nearly every ancient tradition on the planet can explore the miracle of virgin conception but we can't have lesbo baby?? why?? thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#asoiaf #hotd #rhaenicent

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crime-scene-psychic · 3 days ago

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I honestly think that the Nolan Batman trilogy was the best and worst thing to happen to the Batman franchise, because on one hand, it was the first live-action instance of trying to make Batman more gritty and serious (because while the Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney movies took the story much more seriously than the 60s television show, they were still goofy at times, which is why I honestly think they're the best rendition of Batman, because they were able to balance silliness with seriousness, which is what Batman is all about, but that's obviously an entirely different thesis) which then allowed for more people to take comic book movies serious, consequently leading to the rise of the DCEU and, obviously, the MCU (we would not have the MCU today and the actual good movies that came out of it without Nolan's trilogy, there's simply no argument there).

However, the Nolan trilogy also unfortunately made "dark, gritty Batman" the norm, meaning that once anyone tries to actually have some fun with Batman, they immediately get shit on by comic book dude bros. It also created the most annoying characterization of the Joker that everyone has been trying to replicate since and no one will be able to replicate, because they simply do not understand the character (I honest to God think the closest live-action actor who has ever made a Joker character work besider Heath Ledger was Cameron Monaghan in the Gotham television show, and he wasn't even really Joker??? but at least he didn't make it everyone else's problem and was a good mix of goofy and psychotic, not just psychotic) and will never be Heath Ledger (but they don't stop trying much to my forever annoyment).

And while I can recognize the cultural and significant impact on the comic and film community that Nolan's trilogy had, it is still by far my least favorite adaptation because of how serious it takes itself (and of course, the racism. The racism is actually the bigger one for me. Fuck Christopher Nolan for that. Ra's al Ghul is NOT a white man just because you want a plot twist, and you CANNOT just erase Bane being mixed race because you fucking FEEL LIKE IT because him being mixed race is extremely relevant to his origin). Batman has had serious moments in the comics, don't get me wrong, and I know things must evolve and change over time and that I cannot expect an 80 year old character to not be further developed throughout the decades, but it almost feels as if Nolan and Goyer (the writer) read a Sparks Notes version of the history of Batman, cracked their knuckles, and said "yeah, I think I got it."

Spoiler alert: they did not get it.

When I watch the Nolan trilogy (which I haven't in quite some time and I really don't want to, even to prove a point to people on the Internet) I notice how uninspired it feels, story-wise. While the action and cinematography is excellent, the story is lacking for me, and when you're telling a story like Batman, that has decades of content, you cannot just forgo storytelling for cool special effects.

I'd much rather watch a Batman adaptation that has the shittiest effects known to man with a writer who whole-heartily cares for the characters they're writing and has taken time to research. And that's honestly one of the biggest problems the comic book film industry is having now, both DC and Marvel. They're not hiring people who actually care about these characters to write them and they're focusing much more at appealing to everyone they can instead of who the movies should be made for: fans.

You're gonna have such a harder time convincing my mom, a woman who only cares about Wonder Woman, to watch the new Captain America film than you would someone who has read the Sam Wilson Cap comic run. And while this entire issue stems from the fact that the film industry is just that, an industry, and has become less about filmmakers making art and more-so how much money investors and producers can get out of ticket sales, it is still infuriating to see franchises you care deeply about be ruined by guys just there to cash their paychecks and be done with it.

And really, the film industry as we know it needs to be fucking demolished from the inside out, but that will never happen and now we're a bit off-topic. So, back to Batman.

I think another issue I have with newer live-action Batman adaptations is that they choose to forgo a VERY IMPORTANT character when it comes to Batman/Bruce Wayne's evolution as a character and story line.

Robin.

Since whatever the fuck the casting of Chris O'Donnell in 1995 was (why was he, like, a grown man?), people have been afraid to touch a live-action Dick Grayson with a six-foot pole (besides Titans, which I'm gonna get to in a sec). Which is ridiculous, because he is, like I said, an insanely important character when it comes to showing the growth Bruce Wayne goes through.

Bruce Wayne becomes Batman because he is so angry about his parent's deaths and the corruption of Gotham that he doesn't know what else to do. All the money in the world cannot change things for the better, his own father tried and died for his troubles, and he is left with no other option. Bruce Wayne works during the day to fight corruption via charity and his company, Batman works during the night and is able to do what Bruce Wayne can't (beating the shit out of people, mainly). The two are separate sides of the same coin.

And despite this seeming like a good arrangement, it's pretty obvious in most adaptations (at least they get THAT right) that beating the shit out of people in back alleys is not a good replacement for therapy. You're able to see the toll being Batman has on Bruce. He quickly becomes more occupied with being a vigilante than being himself. Bruce needs something to break through this internal struggle and help him balance both lives.

And so a boy named Dick Grayson comes along.

Dick's so important (and so are the other Robins, of course, but Dick being the first means I have to talk about him a bit more) because he forced Bruce to get his shit together. Here's a boy who's about the same age Bruce was when his parents died, who also just saw his parents killed in front of him, and is so full of rage he has no idea what to do. Sounds familiar...

Bruce is able to help himself by helping Dick. He gives him an outlet to vent his anger and frustrations while also looking out for him in the best way he can. While there are many issues with how Robin comes to be in various comic runs (and if this was real life it would be fucking ridiculous) Dick becoming Robin is extremely important. If he hadn't been taken in by Bruce Wayne, if he'd been allowed to let that anger continue to bubble up inside of him, he probably would have killed Tony Zucco and that would have been enough to set Dick down a terrible path he might not recover from.

The same goes for Bruce. If he were to set out and kill the person who shot his parents, he wouldn't be a hero anymore because that single event would shatter the entire point of Batman, which is that he is not meant to decide who lives and dies. If he were, how would he be any different than all the villains in Gotham that he fights as Batman? How would he be better than the corrupt businessman and politicians that he has to battle as Bruce Wayne? He wouldn't.

Batman needs Robin and Robin needs Batman, because they are yin and yang. Light within darkness, darkness within light. You cannot separate these characters and still tell an accurate story, it's impossible. I think that's a huge issue Nolan's movies have, on top of many others. You cannot accurately present to me a Batman story if there is no Robin, just as you couldn't give me a Robin story without Batman.

Every Robin is so important to how Bruce Wayne as a character is developed, and disregarding this as a creator is not only disrespectful to the character, it misses the entire point. I refuse to take your adaptation of Batman seriously if you can't figure out how important Robin is. He isn't just some kid sidekick, he isn't an optional side character, he is what makes Batman human. You cannot have gritty, Neo-noir Batman and forgo Robin just because you see him as the sidekick in tights. When Batman was silly and took itself less seriously, sure, there wasn't a lot to Robin nor Batman's troubling pasts. But now that you want to deep dive into Bruce Wayne's psyche and pick apart what makes him the way he is you wanna throw in the towel and erase the part that humanizes him? Fuck. You.

You can't make a complex Bruce Wayne and take away parts that help audiences understand his complexities, that's fucking STUPID!

Titans, for all its faults and problems, will always have my gratitude as it had the fucking balls to give, without a doubt, the best and most rounded live-action adaptation of Dick Grayson we have ever seen. Titans introduces Dick at a very important and rocky time in his character arch: him leaving Bruce.

If you're not in the know, there's a falling out between Bruce and Dick that's been written a couple different ways over the years, but all comes down to Dick being "fired" from being Robin and leaving Gotham. This is a bit of a newer story line in comparison to how long the character of Dick Grayson has been around, and eventually leads to Dick becoming independent from Bruce, signalling his evolution from "side kick" to his own hero, Nightwing. However, there's issues with Dick having to give up the Robin mantel, because it's something that is whole-heartily Dick Grayson. Robin wasn't something Bruce Wayne came up with, it was the nickname his parents gave to him. Even the colors are his, those were the colors of the Flying Graysons' uniforms. Robin is much more than just a vigilante alter-ego to Dick, it is the last link he has to his past and his parents. So when this is taken away from him and given to another, this causes a huge internal struggle for Dick, as he has to deal with the anger he now has for Bruce, a man he originally looked up to and idolized. This is Dick seeing how wrong it was for Bruce to do some of the things he did to Dick, despite at the time those choices being what both needed.

The way Titans is able to portray this extremely delicate time in Dick's story line in a way that not only makes sense for his character, but also allows for growth is really admirable. Like I said, the show isn't perfect by any means (can I PLEASE get a Romani actor to play Dick PLEASE) but it's the first time I feel that the character is wholeheartedly taken serious in a live-action setting. You can tell the writers have a better idea about how the characters should interact in a live-action setting and while some choices are questionable to me, the heart is there.

Nolan's movies in comparison feel soulless and devoid of all creativity and love. He does not care about these characters, no matter how much he tries to make you think that, and he never will. Christopher Nolan, you will NEVER convince me that you give two shits about Bruce Wayne. And if you, the director, can't bother to care, why should the audience? Why should I care about your adaptation if you can't even be bothered to put an ounce of individuality into it?

With Matt Reeves' Batman films underway, things are getting worse again. For a while, we only had to deal with the shitty Joker adaptations that tried to replicate Ledger's Joker, but with the Reeves Batman movies, the film bros are making themselves known again. I remember when the new design for the Riddler dropped and I said it was shit and people on Twitter and YouTube got SO PISSY at me and told me I just don't understand Batman and that I'm childish for enjoying the designs for Gotham Riddler/ Batman Forever Riddler and whatever and that I'm stupid, which none of those things are true, I hate to be confident in anything, but I think I know more about Batman than you do, Twitter troll.

The suit sucked and the character sucked. They just created a new character but gave him the Riddler's name. That's NOT the Riddler. That's honestly closer to Hush than Riddler, so just... do that? But of course, less people know about Hush than Riddler, and you're not trying to make a film for fans, you're trying to make money, so why would you ever be so silly as to do that! I'm not gonna talk to much about the new Riddler, just because it's super old news and it's not the point I was trying to make here, it's just something that continues to piss me off when it comes to gritty recreations of characters, because Riddler really never was supposed to be some Zodiac Killer wannabe, he's supposed to be a guy who leaves you riddles and makes you solve them and he's supposed to be a little silly about it. And I'm not saying you can't do a more gritty Riddler, because Arkham Knights did it super well imo! Just don't reinvent the wheel! Don't just make a new character and call him by another's name, that's a disservice to the character themselves and their creators.

This is a hard topic, because you have people who get the point of these characters (people who have actually read a comic before and paid attention to the story) but you also have insufferable film/comic bros who worship the ground Nolan and Reeves walks upon and who don't even take time to explore the rest of the Batfamily comics (his gang of vigilante children show up in the stand-alone Batman comics, though, so I don't know how they're missing this, unless they have the reading comprehension of a goldfish, which they probably do tbh). It's why I think a lot of these weirdos don't like Gotham Knights or Wayne Family Adventures, because they hate the thought of there being any semblance of fun in the Batman franchise. Not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Let Dick Grayson be bisexual and let Bruce Wayne have a PTA rival! You can have your cake and eat it too!

I know this seems like a silly sentiment coming from a person who just wrote an entire essay on this, but maybe don't take Batman so seriously? I don't mean, of course, that you can't care about these characters, I'm actually saying the opposite! I care very deeply for these characters, so much that I obviously spat all this out. I just think some people need to fucking chill when it comes to realistically portraying Batman. There's nothing wrong with taking a more serious approach to the characters and I have no problem modernizing them, but you can't just have action hero Batman, you have to have the human behind the mask too. And if you can't balance that, then I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be making Batman adaptations, because you obviously don't understand what the character is about.

I'm nervous to see where Reeves will go with the character, and only time will tell. I've heard rumors he plans to introduce Robin, I've heard rumors he doesn't. Either way, it's obviously out of my hands and I'll have opinions either way, but I really hope he has a better understanding of the history of the franchise than Nolan. While I appreciate, again, what Nolan did for revolutionizing not only the Batman franchise but the comic movie industry as well, I can still find faults in how he went about things. I truly don't believe we can have a worthy adaptation of Batman live action without Robin and without embracing the silliness of Batman's villains and I really hope producers, writers, and directors realize that soon.

Sorry if you read all that...

#batman #dc #dc comics #bruce wayne #robin #nightwing #dick grayson #christopher nolan #nolan batman movies #long post #sorry #but i had to say it

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obsidianpen · 17 hours ago

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unpopular opinion: admit it or not but no glory would've been more popular on ao3 than blood & gold if it wasn't locked, considering it's popularity on tiktok. even big accounts on tiktok about fanfic recommendations and stuffs, recommends no glory and their videos is always a hit. don't get me wrong i'm a blood & gold fan, like seriously. but i think no glory is more closer of getting popular along side of manacled, like seriously check tiktok and search no glory and all videos are hits. everytime i search blood & gold on tiktok hoping if some people read it, i barely see any videos compared to no glory. is this a sign to read no glory?😭

well this is certainly part of the problem - something being popular on TikTok is NOT a surefire sign that it’s a good story. There are a LOT of amazing fics that aren’t on TikTok. Like most of them probably. And honestly, I’ve seen some pretty atrocious ones get posted about and reccd there, particularly in tomione. Cough cough.

let’s talk about the tiktokification (and adjacent, instagramification) of fanfics! Like all things, I think there are good and bad parts of this. I think it can be fun when readers like a story so much they make a TikTok about it to hype up the author. That’s how the exchange of fandom is supposed to work: the writer makes and shares a story with the world for free; the reader says thank you by providing feedback in the form of a comment or in this case, reccing it on social media, maybe even going as far as to make a fun video or edit. Fine. Fun. Go at it.

(side note to give special thanks to all fan artists; I think I speak for most writers when I say this is the BEST???? Fanfic inspiring fanart is the best exchange ever, true fandom love)

where I find a problem with TikTok and all that is when writers themselves are hyping up their own work on social media like it’s a job, making catchy funny videos with the intent to reach many people as possible and blow up - on a site that where posts can be monetized. It feels very cringey to me. Like, ulterior motive-y. Sorry if I’m offending anyone with this take, feel free to disagree and do your thing!

but on to No Glory’s presence on TikTok - truly, this was a surprise to me when I first saw it. I don’t agree that it would be ‘manacled popularity status’ because… it’s harrymort. It’s a far cry from Draco and Hermione, that’s for sure (not that I can’t and won’t make a solid argument for how canon compliant - though admittedly very fucked up - harrymort is!). I think it’s fair to say that No Glory is a bit of a ‘despite the’ situation, meaning, it is somehow popular despite having graphic torture, death, trauma, rape, etc. And none of those things are done lightly, nor are they ever excused (the murderer/rapist is not pardoned for any of his bullshit nor is he coerced into doing any of it; he is a Villain, capital V). So yeah, it’s surprising to me that it is as popular as it is, given all that AND that’s it’s a WIP, seeing as there is also (I think) a big trend for people only reading completed fics (these folks are almost missing the point of fandom and how it works and they suck, but that’s a different rant).

I’m losing the plot. Er, I don’t think NG being locked for a while would have made TOO much a difference, but maybe it would have - I’m sure people were sharing it with those who didn’t have accounts and so it probably would have more ‘hits’ or whatever if it hadn’t been. But all in all I don’t think it would be ‘manacled popular’. Because Harry is a (poor young) man, Voldemort is Voldemort, the age gap is both much too large and much too small (if it were an inhuman number of years, book tok logic says it becomes okay again), and everything is so fucked and unforgiving almost all the time. And not in the cute ‘I can fix him and everything!’ way. In the ‘there is nothing that can make him redeemable ever so I’m going to disassociate until I implode over and over again’ kind of way.

#No glory #harrymort #rant #I was a trying to use a specific tag for when I go off like this but I already forgot what it was #was it #optalks #I dunno man we’ll just go with rant from now on I think

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typicalopposite · 2 days ago

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Heartache

Chapter Two (Read Chapter One HERE)

Pairing: BuckTommy - JonahTommy(past)

Rated: M

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Abusive relationship ; manipulation ; emotional trauma ; dom/sub undertone ; forced heart conditions ; attempted MCD (no actual MCD) ; this one gets very dark

One.

There is one chair in the room. Everything starts there.

Two.

There are two trash cans. One for trash… one for the bandages, and gloves, and medicine bottles, and syringes.

Three.

There are three medications placed on the bedside table: Sertraline, for his anxiety, Tylenol for his headache afterwards, and propofol.

Four.

There are four people on Tommy's phone to contact if it ever goes wrong… His father, although he likely won’t answer. His Nonna, for a copy of his advanced directive, and life insurance policies. His captain, to tell him the news. Howie, because other than Jonah… he is the closest thing Tommy has to a friend.

Five.

There are five things Tommy thinks about during their role plays… They keep him tethered to reality as his body literally slips free from it. His mom swinging with him on their porch swing. His last day in the army. His first day back in the air. His neighbors cat that hops balconies and sits with him while he recuperates afterwards. His life before he met Jonah…

Calm, peaceful… healthy… lonely. Who would have thought someone would miss being lonely.

Sometimes Jonah makes him feel lonely even when he’s right there with him. Sometimes Jonah gets distant and cruel. Pokes sharp painful fingers into the fragile exterior that is meant to be there for protection, but Tommy’s is weak and flawed and easily penetrable.

Jonah knows every insecurity, every self doubt, every regret and mistake and failure. He can take Tommy on his best days and play him like a fiddle until he’s reduced to a sniffling squabbling mess and then he draws him in close and kisses away the tears; tells him he cares about him and most importantly he wants him… even though no one else ever will. So Tommy should be thankful. Tommy should be willing to do anything to repay such a selfless act of generosity.

Absolutely anything.

And so, for two years, Tommy did anything… and everything… Jonah asked of him. He never complained. No matter how scared he felt everytime Jonah came home with that look in his eye… knowing he once again had that scratch that he needed to itch… that need he needed to fill— he needed Tommy to fill. For two years Tommy allowed himself to fill it. To be Jonah’s assistant, of sorts; his plaything, of sorts; his… experiment… of sorts.

Two years of letting Jonah play God.

Until it all— almost— went wrong.

“N- No more…” Tommy had said, once his heart stopped pounding like it was about to burst out of his chest. He’d wanted to call an ambulance… or at least go in to get checked out. Jonah convinced him not to.

“You want to lose your job? A heart attack? At thirty six? They’ll clip your wings so quickly…” Jonah glared at him, like he dared him to try to push back with logic— like the fact it took him shocking Tommy four times to get his heart beating again. Jonah eventually lets out an over dramatic sigh. “I mean if you’re that worried…” he said, putting on a pitiful pout. “If you think I know that little… and didn’t do a good job here… then fine. Here…” Tommy was already prepared to take it all back when his cell phone was slung directly at his face; he had no time to stop it or move before it smacked him right in the mouth “Call them.”

Tommy lifts a hand to his face, feels the sting of what he knows is a cut on his trembling bottom lip. “I- I won’t call…”

“No. Call them, Tommy. They can take better care of you… right? Right?!”

“N- No.”

“But you’re scared?” He crossed the room back to their bed, leaned down so he was right in Tommy’s face; Tommy could see his jaw clench, his nose flare… He is nearly half Tommy’s size. It would be so easy… so easy… to fight him off. Instead Tommy cowers as he shakes his head. “You think I’m not good at my job?” Another shake of his head. “You think I can’t save you?”

“I know you can…” Tommy cried— it made him sick how he cried… “You are amazing, and s- so skilled… you always take the best care of me… You- You’re my hero, Jonah…” The words— the lies— flow so easily because he’s trying to diffuse Jonah’s anger before it bubbles up too high. “It’s me, baby… I- I’m too weak…” and it’s true wasn’t it… he was so weak. So pathetic. “I just don't think I— m- my heart… can handle it anymore. I’m so sorry…”

He reached out and blindly grabbed Jonah's hand, keeping their eyes locked together as he brought it to his lips. Jonah moved the hand to his cheek, running his thumb roughly over the cut on Tommy’s lip. “I forgive you…” he said and kissed Tommy. Pushing him back down on the bed and climbing on top of him. Tommy went without a fight.

A month passed and Tommy waited, anxiously expecting each time he saw Jonah to be faced with that look again… that itch… that need… but it never came. Tommy thought maybe he was really free of their little game.

Then the dispatch fire happened.

Tommy sat on their couch and watched the news coverage as the fire raged on, the firefighters on scene working effortlessly to put it out. They announced Captain Bobby Nash was still inside. He mindlessly rubbed a hand over his chest as he stared at the screen and waited for each update. Finally they said Bobby was safe. Tommy sighed in relief. The reporter gave praise to the 118– Tommy couldn’t help the proud smile for his old team as the camera panned over to them standing united as they exited the building— and the 133…

And Tommy couldn’t help the sinking feeling of knowing Jonah was on such an intense call.

He spotted him on the TV, standing next to one of the victims, smiling down at her as they talked, and he dreaded the thought of Jonah coming home the next morning to tell him all about it. He turned the TV off, pulled out his phone and texted Howie, asked him to send updates on Bobby, and praised them for their work at the fire. He didn’t call, nor did he text Jonah. He just went to bed.

The next morning he woke up to a return text from Howie. Bobby was going to be fine, so was his step daughter. Again Tommy sighed in relief. Then he read the rest of the text and his heart began to race: we lost one though. One of the dispatchers went into cardiac arrest on the ambulance ride in. Firefighter Greenway did his best but he couldn’t save her. She was DOA.

Tommy ignored the other text in his phone from Jonah saying he was almost home. He ignored the key in the lock turning over… and the door pushing open. He ignored the initial call of his name as Jonah stepped inside. He already knew what was coming next.

Except it didn’t.

Jonah was a little stoic as he crossed the apartment to their room, pulling Tommy into his arms and kissing him. He asked if he heard about the fire, and Tommy lied and said he hadn’t. He said he wasn’t feeling too good and went to bed early; slept in late. Jonah actually seemed concerned. He said he would order them some breakfast, and they could just spend the rest of the morning in bed.

What was Tommy going to do, not take such an extremely rare offer?

He held Jonah after they ate; pulled him up against his chest, let him listen to the beat of his heart like he knew Jonah liked to do, and tried to push asking about the fire to the very last second. But after a few random dramatized sighs from his boyfriend, Tommy finally asked. “Is everything okay?”

There was a long pause. “I lost her,” Jonah finally said. Tommy felt like he’d been dunked in ice water, he shifted his body so Jonah’s head was no longer on his chest— so he could see him better (so he couldn’t hear his heart pick up speed).

“O- Oh… b- baby I’m so sorry.”

Jonah shook his head, brows pulled tightly together. “I just— it doesn’t make sense… I can’t believe I couldn’t save her…”

“I’m sure you did everything you could,” Tommy said.

Jonah jerked his head side to side. “No. No, I should have saved her. It should have been fine.” He all but leaps out of the bed, storming out of the room. Tommy startled at the slam of their bedroom door. He thought, maybe he should just let him cool off… alone. A glass shattered in the kitchen, and he thought, instead, that maybe he should attempt to calm him down.

He grabbed the broom and dustpan out of the hall closet first, and went straight to cleaning up the glass as Jonah paced the kitchen. He only just got all the shards up when he heard the contents on the counter table behind him get shoved off. It crashed to the floor, more glass breaking— the glass cake tray his Nonna gave him, with the entirety of a cake he’d bought himself the day before and hadn’t yet tried… he desperately tried to not react to the loss of either— another mess for Tommy to clean up; he went straight to it.

“I guess I really am just a piss poor paramedic,” Jonah said bitterly, his voice rising from a growl to a scream. “Can’t save anyone. Why am I even doing this fucking job?!”

Maybe it was because Tommy did want anything else broken… Maybe it was because he didn’t want their neighbors to hear the screaming and call the cops… Maybe it was because he was so conditioned to please…

He dropped the broom.

Clutched his chest.

And took in a sharp breath.

“J- Jonah…” Tommy said, looking up at him. “P- Please… Help…” It took less than a second for Jonah to catch on. Then he was kneeling at Tommy’s side, lifting Tommy’s face to look at him. There’s a glint in his eye, a flicker of something dark… and Tommy should be scared but instead he leans into the touch. In that moment Jonah’s full attention, devotion, love even (maybe), was on Tommy; in that moment it was really Tommy helping Jonah… because he just loved him so much— too much. “I need you… I’m scared.”

Oh, was he scared…

Jonah fed off of it. It was like a switch flipped over and he went full character: assuring Tommy he was in the best hands, helping him to his feet, leading him to their room… Jonah gently pushed him down to sit on the chair. Tommy put himself into autopilot while Jonah got him ready.

He checked Tommy’s vitals. “BP is good… heart rate is accelerating… you need to relax, Tommy…”

Tommy slowly nodded. And begins taking deep breaths. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

“There you go… That’s better…” Jonah smiled at him, and leaned down to kiss Tommy’s forehead. It should be comforting; it’s anything but comforting. “Okay go lie down… I’ll get everything set up.”

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Five memories. Four contacts. Three medications. Two trash cans. One chair.

Jonah pulled on his sterile gloves— Tommy only knew because he had to pop them to his wrist every time… he couldn’t actually watch him because of what he knew came next. Jonah went into his little medical bag and pulled out the Tylenol… and the propofol. He sat them on the table beside where Tommy kept his anxiety medication. Then he grabbed one of the syringes— slowly opening the sealed packaging and Tommy focused on any other sound of the paper peeling apart in the room to try to drown it out— then he drew up the propofol.

He tied the rubber band around Tommy’s bicep, waiting until his veins popped out nicely. “Big pinch,” he said and gripped Tommy’s wrist as he brought the needle to the vein.

“Wait…” Tommy gasped, trying to calm his breathing— trying to blink back against the rush of tears. “C- Can you hold my hand?” He asked.

Jonah looked at him and a flash of disappointment crossed his face before he, too, broke character. “Now Tommy… that would be a little too unprofessional. Don’t you think?”

Tommy swallowed around the lump lodged in his throat and nodded. “Y- Yeah. You’re right. S- Sorry…” He looked back to the ceiling fan spinning above him, and refocused on his breathing. The needle pressed into the vein, the medicine burned as it entered his body.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Five memories. Four contacts. Three medications. Two trash cans. One chair.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Five memories. Four contacts. Three medications. Two trash cans. One chair.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Five cc of propofol. Four minutes to take effect. Three seconds to boot up the defibrillator. Two paddles pressed to his chest. One shock.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

He felt it as it happened. It made him feel sick knowing Jonah could see it as it happened, too. Tommy could feel his eyes, wide and maniacal, locked on him as he waited for Tommy’s breathing to slow and eventually stop. Tommy felt himself dying— felt how this was killing him. Not just in the moment— as it literally killed him— but in general.

He had flown so far from the person he had aspired to become when he finally came out and embraced who he was. This was not where things were supposed to end up. He hated that version of himself almost as much as the old. He wished he’d never met Jonah… never fallen in love with him… never become so dependent on him…

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Five things he always wanted to do: go skydiving, go deep sea fishing, go mountain climbing, go on a cross country road trip, take a walk down the aisle.

Four places he always wanted to travel: Italy (for Nonna), Paris (for Romance), New York (for Broadway), Alaska (for the Northern Lights), an altar (for love).

Three words he always wanted to hear: I love you— not just I love what you can do for me.

Two souls who are meant to be together— but it was never the two together in that room.

One more time… for Jonah.

Anything for Jonah.

His body surged up into an arch from the shock. Tommy collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for air, his heart pounding as it attempted to re-regulate itself. Jonah stared at him with this strange mix of awe and pity. “Shh…” he shushed softly, reaching out to wipe away tears as they fell down Tommy’s cheeks. “You’re okay. It’s okay. I saved you.” Tommy blinked, eyes feeling heavy. He grabbed on to Jonah’s wrist, clinging to it for some sense of comfort. “You did so well. You can rest now.” The hand on his cheek gently swiped over his eyes, closing them.

When he woke up, Jonah was there, like always. His mood was better, like always. His eyes were soft and inviting. His lips found their way to Tommy’s… kissing him deeply— passionately… hungrily. Tommy laid there and played along knowing this was only another part of the game; thinking, still, if he tried hard enough to believe it… it was almost like they were just making love.

His phone ringing woke him up.

Recovery this time took longer than his usual couple days… He had to call in sick to work… His captain was annoyed but understanding; Tommy rarely missed work, if he did it was serious.

The phone continued to ring, causing his headache to only get worse… and he was still an hour away from being able to take more Tylenol. He groaned and rolled over to grab it, bringing it up to his ear. “H’llo?”

“Hey Tommy…” Daryl, Jonah’s partner at the 133, said way too loudly into his ear; Tommy had to pull the phone away and put it on speaker. “How are you feeling? JG said you were a little under the weather.”

Tommy scoffed. “Uh, yeah… what- what’s up? Is everything okay?”

“About that,” Daryl continued, and the strain in his voice had Tommy up and out of the bed, starting a panicked pacing of their room. “Listen I- I overheard Cap talking to Jonah… something about Wilson and Han from the 118 reporting him… o- over that dispatcher's death, I think. It sounded like they dug up some crap from his past… heavy shit. I don’t know— but the conversation got pretty heated; he left very upset. Thought I’d give you a heads up…”

Daryl was one of the only people who knew about Tommy and Jonah. Jonah didn’t want the type of friends who came over to your house… he had too much to hide at home. Tommy was enough of a loner… so he never had anyone over either. He had Howie, but he knew Howie was a sore spot for Jonah since Hen took a while warming up to Jonah as Howie’s temporary replacement; and then he was moved off the 118 after he came back. Tommy could read a room enough to know he shouldn’t mention either of them.

Now they are— are what… out to get him?

He was rushing Daryl off the phone and scrolling through his contacts for Hen’s name before he even really knew what he was going to say. He didn’t even wait for a hello before he was going off. “What the hell are you digging around Jonah’s life for, Hen! What business is it of yours!”

“What the— what business is it of mine?” Hen repeated back to him, scoffed and added, “what business is any of this of yours!?”

“He’s my boyfriend, so you snooping around trying to find something on him to hurt him is my business,” Tommy blurted out.

Hen was quiet for a long time. “He's your— he’s hurt people, Tommy,” she said, a new— softer— tone to her voice.

“That’s a lie… he— he would never!” He promised. He said it was only ever Tommy. It was— It was their thing… “J- Jonah is a… g- good man…”

Another long pause. “You don’t sound too sure about that,” she said. “Listen… if you’re scared— if you feel like you have to—”

The sound of a key turning in the lock caught Tommy’s attention. “You need to let this go, Hen,” he said and ended the call.

The front door slammed open, and Jonah stormed in.

He came straight to the bedroom and stood in the doorway, eyes locked on Tommy. His breathing was heavy and slow… shoulders rising with each inhale, and falling on the exhale. “Get my bag,” he said, flat and emotionless.

Tommy should have fought, right then. He should have refused. He got up and walked to the closet instead, bringing the medical bag out and back over to the bed. He held it on his lap as Jonah crossed the room to him. Jonah didn't pick it up, just opened it where it sat on Tommy’s legs and began taking bottles of propofol out, IV tubing, syringes.

“You worked with them,” he said after a while. Tommy lifted his eyes slowly up to meet Jonah’s. “With Hen… and Chimney. You still call him Howie right? He’s your friend…”

Tommy quickly shook his head. “I- I would hardly call us—”

“Do you agree with them, Tommy?” Jonah said, and leaned down close to Tommy’s face. “Do you think I’m a horrible person, too?”

“No!”

“Do you think I hurt those people?”

“Of- Of course not…”

“You know I had it under control.”

“Ye— wait…” Tommy searched Jonah’s eyes, waiting for some explanation he knew wouldn’t come. Jonah didn’t blink. Hen was right… and maybe— maybe Tommy had thought that all along. But thinking and knowing are so vastly different in moments like these. “Jonah… you— you didn’t…” Jonah’s brow furrowed; Tommy chose his words carefully. “You didn’t m- mean to hurt them, I’m sure…” Jonah doesn’t react… “They— They were just… weak. You did your job… you would have saved them had they been stronger.”

“Exactly. They were just—”

“M- Mistakes?”

Jonah smiled; something so maniacal and evil shouldn’t have been a comfort… but he seemed to lose some of the tension in his shoulders, so Tommy did as well. “Mistakes… that’s it. They were mistakes.” He began to draw up doses of the propofol. One syringe after another. “Not even my fault, really… just weak people who didn’t want— no didn’t deserve to be saved. Now I’ll just have to show them what I’m capable of… then they will see…”

“Show who?”

“Hen and Chimney,” Jonah reiterated with a grin. “I’ll show them both just how good I am at what I do.”

“H- How…” the question rolled off his tongue before he could stop it. Jonah didn’t respond, just laid everything back in the back and walked to the closet for the defibrillator. “Jo- Jonah… w- what are you going to do…”

Jonah smiled, reached up and cupped Tommy’s cheek. He leaned in and kissed him. “I’m going to teach them a lesson, baby.” Tommy felt his eyes widen, a choked off sound escaping him as he shook his head. “It’ll be fine. They have to learn.”

“Jonah… please… don’t,” he begged, would beg on his knees if he had to. He couldn’t let Jonah hurt anyone else. He decided to be brave just a fraction of a second too late and felt a sharp pinch in his neck just as he was about to lunge at him.

He fell over on the bed, watching Jonah pull out his phone. “Heard you were talking about me,” he said.

Tommy barely heard Hen’s voice respond before he passed out. When he opened his eyes again the room was dark. Part of him thought maybe— just maybe— Jonah was gone. He tried to sit up and felt dizzy…

“Easy now…” he heard Jonah’s voice cut through the darkness. “You know better than to try to move around so quickly.”

“Mmhmm…” Tommy hummed.

He watched the silhouette of Jonah walk around the bed, sit down beside him; he took his hand and held it like one would a stranger. “I really thought you were the one, Tommy…” he said. “I thought you understood me. I thought you cared…”

“I- I do… care,” Tommy said, sluggishly.

The silhouette shook his head. “No… no you don’t. I’m really sorry, baby… but I have to get going. Things to do; old friends to visit.”

“J’nah… p- please…” Tommy tried once more. He felt the familiar sting of medicine entering in his vein, only then registering the needle that had been in it. He felt Jonah’s lips press to his in a chaste, emotionless, kiss. He felt the rise of the mattress as Jonah got up and walked out.

Four minutes.

Jonah said it took four minutes before the flatline. He waited until he heard the front door click shut and he rolled off the bed, falling heavily to the floor. His adrenaline spiked… that was a good thing… it would keep him alert longer. He rolled over towards the bed, sticking his arm under it and feeling around until his fingers brushed over the box. A panic induced purchase really… he’s glad he made it now— he’s knows Jonah took his with him.

Three minutes.

He hadn’t even opened it yet. Why hadn’t he ever opened it?! His fingers trembled clumsily as he tore the box apart and freed the equipment inside— a shiny, brand new, defibrillator. It felt like some kind of sick Christmas present… He struggled against his fading consciousness to get it set up… nearly busted his head as he toppled over to plug it in… he pulled himself back up with the bedside table and that’s when he saw his phone was still there where he left it after the call to Hen.

Two minutes.

He managed to do it in tandem; turn on the machine with one hand, call 9-1-1 with the other. “9-1-1 what’s the address of your location?” The dispatcher asked the question, then waited for Tommy’s response. Tommy peeled the first pad off, and carefully slid it under his shirt, sticking it to his left side. “Hello? 9-1-1… what is the address of your location?”

One minute.

1318 Brannon St Apartment G… 1318 Brannon St Apartment G… 1318 Brannon Street Apartment G!

“I- I’m actually not sure where he’s going,” Tommy said as he put the second pad on the right side of his chest. He turned the defibrillator on, holding the phone close to his mouth; his finger lingered over the button… he didn’t have much time to waste but— “But his name is Jonah… Green- Greenway. He drives a 2021 white Nissan Altima. License plate seven-delta… hotel-li-li-lima… nine… six… sev—”

He pressed the button and everything went dark.

“Sir. Sir, do you hear me?”

He had read… somewhere… that shocking your heart while still conscious felt like getting kicked in the chest by a horse.

Tommy fluttered his eyes, tried to open them against the blindingly bright light of the— the ambulance. He was in an ambulance.

“Alright! We got him back!”

Tommy took a deep breath through the oxygen mask over his face. Then another. Then another.

“That’s it, sir… in and out. Nice and slow. You’re going to be just fine… you’re safe now.”

Was he though? Was Hen? Was Howie?

He got his answer in the shape of the former— donning a matching hospital gown to his— sneaking in his room many hours later.

He was still barely conscious… having faded in and out multiple times. The only people to enter his room since his arrival had been doctors or nurses— none paying him much attention as he incoherently asked about Jonah and if he’d been caught— that’s the price you pay being a loner, he supposed. Hen stopped in his doorway, waiting until he opened his eyes and looked at her to enter.

“Hey…” she said with a smile, soft and friendly— neither things he deserved. “How are you feeling?”

Tommy waited for the other shoe to drop. For rage or some snarky comment… an I told you so. It didn’t come. “Like I was kicked in the chest by a horse…” he finally replied, letting his head loll towards her. “Are you— you and Howie…”

“We’re fine.”

“Jonah?”

“Going to prison… for a very long time.”

Tommy sighed, and nodded. “Good,” he said. That was good— something good to come from… all this. “How- How did you know I was here?”

“Karen called the cops when I called to warn her Jonah was up to something…” Hen explained, sitting down on the foot of Tommy’s bed. “They told her somebody had already called in, and there were already units out looking for him. I had Athena look into it. She said the person who called was found unconscious and admitted here… I pieced the rest together and asked the hospital if they had a Thomas Kinard.”

She reached for Tommy’s hand and he flinched, pulling it away. “I- I’m so- so sorry, Hen… I- I should’ve…”

“Hey, no. Don’t do that. We are all victims here.” She reached for his hand again and took it this time. “Some… a lot longer than others, I’m sure.”

She gave him a knowing look and he couldn't help but laugh… What else was there to do? “You have no idea…” he said tiredly.

Evan is quiet.

Tommy is… on edge— although he’s doing his best to be patient. He just dumped a lot of trauma, he would not be surprised if Buck turns and runs out the door, never to look back.

“So you— you told Hen everything?”

“Everything I just told you, yeah…”

Evan nods. He’s still holding Tommy’s hand… that’s a good sign, Tommy hopes. “And— And Athena? You— you told her, too?”

Tommy shakes his head. “She just asked around about the anonymous caller for Hen. She never knew it was me. I did talk to the cops who found me, though. But…” he sighs… this is the part he regrets the most. “I asked to be left anonymous. I— I didn’t know Jonah was doing this to other people… there was nothing that me testifying would add to the case, unless I wanted to press charges.” He breaks away from Evan’s eyes. “And I— I didn’t…”

“Tommy,” Evan gasps in disbelief. Here it comes, Tommy thinks. “Why- Why wouldn’t you… after— after everything he did to—”

“I know…” Tommy interjects, hanging his head. “He hurt Howie and Hen… and so— so many other people…”

“And you!” Evan all but shouts. “Tommy he— he hurt you too… so many times… and he— he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with that.”

That… was not what Tommy expected Evan to be upset about. He isn’t exactly sure how to respond to it. “He’s going to prison for life, Evan…” he says, as a start. “He didn’t get away.”

“That’s— that’s not good enough.” Evan shakes his head using his hold on Tommy’s hand to pull him into his arms.

Tommy is held tight to Evan’s chest and he feels— he feels many things, actually. Mostly he feels safe. Which is something he’s never really felt in a relationship. Safe to be himself. Safe to be vulnerable. “I’m sorry…” he says, trying to blink back tears. He thinks he’s cried enough in just this one day for his entire lifetime, and the next. “Jonah… he— he was all I had… I just— I- I couldn’t…and I know I should have but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry…”

“H- Hey…” Evan gently pushes him back, then gently cups his face. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. He is the one who should be sorry… I don’t blame you for wanting to bury those memories. I’ll— I’ll talk to Athena; maybe we can fight this summons.”

If only it could be that easy…

Even after Tommy re-explains his reasoning for not wanting to get on the stand in front of Jonah… the judge still decides she’ll allow it. “I’m so sorry,” Athena says somberly, and Evan’s hold around Tommy’s waist tightens. He presses a kiss to Tommy’s cheek.

They meet with the DA, discuss what he should expect, and Tommy schedules a session with Frank— recurring sessions, actually.

He knew this would come back into the light one day. He should have been prepared. He’d gotten too cozy with his life, that was his first mistake…

“Tommy there’s a call for you in Cap's office,” Lucy says, jogging up to where Tommy is under the hood of one of Harbor’s engines.

“For me?” Tommy grabs a rag and wipes the grease off his hands, so he can run his fingers through the loose curls falling down onto his forehead. “Who is it?”

Lucy shrugs. “He didn’t say.”

There is a sinking sense of dread Tommy can’t shake as he approaches the office, takes the phone, and puts it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Five… Four… Three… Two… One…” Tommy hates how he can hear the sinister grin in Jonah’s voice. He hates that he’s hearing Jonah’s voice at all. “You were always counting down. Sometimes you even did it out loud, did you know that?”

“How— How did you—”

“Do you know what day the trial starts?” Jonah continues, brushing over Tommy’s question… of course. Tommy doesn’t respond; Jonah chuckles. “Save the date, baby… it’s a good one. I can’t wait to see you.” Then the line cuts off.

“Who was that?” Lucy asks, but Tommy is too busy trying to get his phone’s calendar opened. “Tommy…” she says— repeats, maybe… She touches his arm. “You’re shaking… Are you okay?”

He is not.

Five years ago Tommy talked himself into meeting someone he matched with on some dating app Howie teasingly suggested he try.

Four days until he has to come face to face with that same person on the anniversary of that first date.

Three life sentences is what Jonah is looking at if found guilty… He will be found guilty. He has to be found guilty.

Two hours before Tommy is off shift… and Jonah probably knew that.

One almost— but not quite— forgotten nightmare Tommy has been thrown head first back into.

~~~~~~~~~

Tagging people who seemed interested (let me know if you want to be added for the last chapter or removed 🫶) : @sunnywithachanceofbi @weewookinard @xtarmanderx @racerchix21 @sad-girl-hours23 @laundryandtaxesworld @swagmaster9k @iphyslitterator @adian-ua 🫶🫶

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #jonah greenway #tw abuse #tw heart #tw manipulation #tw dark content #this one i knew would be heavy… then it got really heavy 🫣😮‍💨

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writingforaliens · 1 day ago

Text

I have been summoned!

Lily Taverel, better known during her Blackstaff days as "Tav", met Gale roughly 15 years before the events of BG3, when the two were the equivalent of grad students. Quiet and shy at first, Lily found her first real friend in her academic rival and officemate, and, over time, she revealed to Gale many, if not all, of her secrets: her loneliness, her neglectful, abusive parents, her pain and fear of being last. She even showed him her true self: Lilyseah Mithrellas, a half-elf who kept her features carefully obscured by an enchantment. And like most autistic nerds, they overthought their relationship constantly, leaving a lot of feelings unconfessed. When they finished their studies, Lily left for her "post-doc". Though they wrote each other often, and even visited each other with regularity, they continued to rationalize themselves out of any confessions or actions. Perhaps it was fear of the way they were just so made for each other, that nothing could be that perfect, that kept them apart, perhaps it was their inability to read people, perhaps it was the fear of driving away the best thing they'd ever known.

Around four years before BG3, Gale's letters stopped being addressed to "Lily" in favor of "Tav" before ceasing entirely over the course of the next year. Despite pleading to know what she did wrong and apologies for whatever it was, she never heard back. So, for the next three years, she tried over and over and over again to stop loving him, to little success.

She locked those feelings deep, deep in her chest, hoping they would someday shrink enough to be bearable.

When she helps Shadowheart pull a person from the half-functioning portal, the last one she expects to see is Gale Dekarios, the man that both she and his mother believed dead in some godsforsaken corner of the realm. The very same man that she'd been attempting to find on his mother's behalf.

And she's pissed.

Lily's already had a trying day, and he simply walks back into her life like her heart hasn't been shattered and now stomped on. Like he doesn't owe her an explanation. But, truth be told, despite her every wish to stay angry because he should deserve it, because he should beg her forgiveness, she can't stay that angry at him for long, not when they can still predict each other's movements and thoughts. Not when he still makes her laugh. Not when he comes to her and asks if she has any enchanted items.

And especially not when he finally apologizes and explains everything to her right after.

It's a fast, easy tumble from there to where they were years ago, an even easier tumble from there to quiet confessions on the cold floor of a Sharran temple, and, despite a small breakdown when Lily is forced to confront some more of her traumas, easier yet to a proposal and a pledge to each other not a day after the death of Ketheric Thorm.

They are legally married by the magistrate of some tiny town between Reithwin and Baldur’s Gate, at the last possible minute before the office closes--much to the frustration of said magistrate--with Tara being their only witness.

It takes some convincing, but Lily eventually agrees to a celebration in Waterdeep, and Gale gets to show off his wife, the one that almost everyone expected was coming at some point and no one is actually surprised by.

A Tav who knew Gale before. A Tav who might have loved him before. Before Mystra, before the orb, before his whole world came crashing down. They know him to be precise, logical, unrivalled in his craft. Then he disappeared. But who was Tav? They might have been a colleague, that sense of satisfaction they felt after his downfall suddenly vanishing as they really look at him for the first time. An old “friend” – they got drunk together down at the Yawning Portal once, counts as a friend, right? Did something else happen? Really, they don’t remember much at all, but the way they tiptoe around each other may be enough of an answer. A former lover, cast aside over his need to please a Goddess, finding themselves face to face with him again after years, unable to deny that same old spark. Doesn’t matter – whoever Tav was, whoever they are now – Gale certainly isn’t the same. How strange it must have been for both of them to have such different views of each other compared to their other companions, who only know this version of them. So imagine Tavs reluctance when they start feeling those butterflies. Imagine Gale, who will never be the same again – who is terrified because he will never be the same again – so desperate to give Tav a glimpse of his former glory, only for them to love him the way he is.

#lily the math wizard #not at all based on how my husband and i knew each other almost eight years before we started dating #and decided not quite three months later that we'd definitely like to get married #(my promise ring was the evenstar pendant which i later wore at our wedding)

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classygreydove · 1 day ago

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The perfect contradictory character of wei wuxian

i'm writing this as i eat chocolate instead of working on my WIP lol - but essentially i've been thinking a lot about when a fic characterization of WWX just hits the spot for me, and when it doesn't. Now whether this type of characterization is canon I think is always partially a matter of opinion, because by its very nature a fanfic cannot be...well, canon. And it is made all the more complicated by the existence of CQL canon and MDZS canon, and the different MDZS canons with different scenes and levels of censorship, and the way fans and fic writers often franken-canon it together. So this post is only my rambling about characterizing WWX in fic.

Whenever I write WWX, i always find it a balancing act. Talkative, but not too talkative; golden-hearted, but willing to question what society sees as moral; confident, but complicatedly so depending on what point he's at in his character arc; oblivious, but not oblivious; impulsive, but analytical. I'm also constantly asking myself "Is this a personality trait, or a result of his environment? Both? What would impact his character if there are different events or circumstances?

And then there's the appearance of what his character is, which is almost just as important as his actual character. The masks or roles he puts on for others, or the ways those around him willfully misinterpret him. How does this character perceive WWX's actions in this or that context? Do they find him reckless, oblivious, or call him morally wrong (even when he isn't)? Does WWX want them to react a certain way, and does that impact how he acts around them?

In my opinion, writing WWX in a modern setting or genderbend is perhaps the most challenging. Not only do you have to ask yourself what personality he'd have if it were shaped by different cultural standards, gender roles, or backstory, a fic author might also want to do their best to preserve his character integrity as a "classic golden-hero turned dark anti-hero" archetype, but have no idea how to translate that into completely different set of circumstances.

For instance, WWX and gender roles. I really love that WWX is a subversion of the classical masculine hero archetype in cnovels. As a teenager, he's confident, flirty, intelligent, skilled, enjoys having fun and not taking life too seriously. As a resurrected MXY, he has no issue pretending to be a lunatic cutsleeve, so no toxic masculinity there lol - he also likes getting swept off his feet by LWJ, and playing up the "helpless maiden" role, and is very much a romantic with cottagecore dreams, saving his first kiss (traditionally that kind of innocent romanticism is attributed as a "feminine" trait, regardless of whether it actually is or not) - LWJ in contrast falls into many feminine tropes such as being known for his beauty/grace, the way he carries the money pouch (women traditionally managed the finances), can cook, has petty jealousy, etc - while at the same time undeniably also has masculine traits. The way Wangxian subvert gender roles and tropes is wonderful and i love their characters for it.

But then how does one even begin to translate that dynamic into a genderbend? Does teenage WWX still have that masculine classic hero personality? Or does she become traditionally feminine with LWJ the one acting more masc? Do different gender roles and expectations affect how WWX interacts with the world, such as how they react to her flirting, her confidence, her heroic tendencies? I read a fic a few years ago that I thought it a fabulous job exploring some of these very questions in the canon setting. I am still devastated that it remains incomplete.

Whenever I read a fic with Wei Wuxian, I always fall in love with depictions of his character that capture some of this balance, these "contradictions," so to speak (I don't have a better word to describe it than contradictions, even though these traits don't actually contradict. Ig I could say character complexity? But people often throw that phrase around without explaining what they mean by it, so). It's what makes him such a cool character to read about. It's also what makes him so unbelievably difficult to write sometimes. So many fic authors struggle with his character, whether attributing a trait to him that he only appears to have, like thoughtlessness. Or project a trait onto him that he doesn't seem to have that much, like insecurity, or not knowing his own worth as a person/or not knowing the magnitude of his abilities.

WWX to me has always seemed to know exactly how skilled he is and what he is capable of, and he at least intellectually seems to be aware that he is not unlovable or worth less than others, even if he is required to act or treat himself as less than his peers due to classism and society. I've always felt that his attitude towards himself, his own worth and his own ability, is a sort of practicality that would come from growing up as a street kid whose only goal is survival, and who is completely aware of just how little the world cares if he does or not.

Then there's the concept of him being ridiculously oblivious/emotionally unintelligent, which many others have talked about before me. I think this idea in the fandom largely stems from the fact that Wei Wuxian doesn't pick up on a lot of small details that he later recognizes and realizes later on. But there's been a lot of discussion of how much of that was because of comphet, situational circumstances, and LWJ's own reticence that prevented or distracted WWX from making those connections earlier in the canon timeline. This means that this "obliviousness" is likely something that would change if the circumstances are different, such as WWX existing in a world with no comphet, or existing in a timeline where he isn't dealing with Wen indoctrinations or being severely traumatized by the burial mounds and a war, LWJ being less repressed and hot-cold etc, etc, etc.

Now, one WWX characterization i genuinely have such a hard time reading is manic pixie WWX. The ones where he's just... chirpy. Bubbly. (Usually really oblivious. Never intentionally breaking rules, he just can't help it! he's just too cute and enthusiastic uwu) I can't explain why, I don't even know why, but it grates on my every. last. nerve. (that being said, if u want to write manic pixie WWX, then write whatever u want, seriously. Don't even think about letting my opinion stop u from doing what you like and having fun)

As for depictions I really love to see: a WWX that kind of scoffs at rules/the system. One who genuinely has a somewhat poor opinion of LWJ's character before LWJ proves himself, because I like a good enemies/rivals-to-friends-to-lovers because that's how I believe he sees LWJ until LWJ punishes both himself and WWX and WWX goes "oooh u don't use the system to self-benefit or aggrandize or oppress, you're actually trying to be like, moral. I respect that, actually. Let's be friends and go on bromantic outings in Lotus Pier"

Or when WWX's teasing gets a little mean, because WWX can be a little mean, often unintentionally so, but still (think WWX showing LWJ porn/intentionally pushing LWJ's buttons, WWX making that comment about JL's mom). I think it's a character flaw of his that adds depth/complexity.

Also, WWX trolling people/enjoying mischief and making people question the "system." I've always felt his first-life self had the kind of annoying swagger that a guy who Knew He Looked Like That and Knew Exactly How Smart He Was that would honestly make me so annoyed if I knew him irl. Like, Mianmian, I get it. LWJ, I get it.

Basically, I like when his character is written to make u so mad you aren't sure if you want to throttle him or kiss him silly (especially if it's a LWJ pov). Or when he acts super carefree/silly, at the same time as he shows how scarily smart he is. It's the juxtaposition. The contradiction. *slaps hand on the metaphorical table in emphasis*

[TL;DR] So what i'm trying to say is, writing WWX is a challenge, but one that is so worth it.

Alright I've spent like an hour on this post, so though there's so much more I could talk about, I'll leave it at that for now. For those of you who would still really like a part 2 of that "so i read a comment bashing LWJ" post, i do plan to write more on that, so keep an eye out 👁️

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #chen qing ling #lan wangji #mdzs fanfiction #mdzs fic #wangxian fic #wangxian fanfic #writing wei wuxian #wei ying #character analysis #character rant #mdzs wwx #wwx

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chronically-ghosted · 3 days ago

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Despite 2024, we still made it to 2025! Now let's celebrate that accomplishment!

Thank you to everyone who submitted to celebrate this fandom and the wonderful people in it! Fandom is about community, and we are nothing without it. I got the warm and fuzzies reading through all the lovely submissions so I hope you feel it too! Happy New Year!

🥶 nominate a person who made the year extra special

🌟 @cavillscurls nominated @kiwisbell 🌟

and my shoutout goes to the very special @kiwisbell. not only is she the most trusted beta, kindest friend, and brilliant writer, but most recently (and excitingly) the greatest collaborator and writing partner. meeting her—and meeting her in PERSON this summer—remain the highlights of my year. i’m not going to go into my dissertation on the importance and special nature of internet friendships, but just know that the light, creativity, and openness she brings to this fandom and to my life are things i will never take for granted. i am certain our next year will be better because she’s in it! I LOVE YOU.

(this is the attached photo and i HAD to include it 😭)

🌟 @bitchesuntitled nominated @beefrobeefcal 🌟

Hooooly shit. What can I say about Kiki that I haven’t already told her?! She is an amazing human being and I aspire to be like her. She is so kind even when others are not so nice. She’s one of the most creative people I know and I absolutely love when we get on a tangent in ALL CAPS ABOUT AN IDEA. She is so willing to help anyone and everyone- whether it’s a fic or a moodboard or you’re just feeling down in the dumps about something! I think she is one of the best people in this fandom and I am so glad to have her in my life ❤️ Also just a bit of a personal story to show the kind of person she is, when I was first getting sober I was worried about how I would handle July 4th because as an American it’s a very ‘Merica fuck yeah! Let’s drink! holiday and she checked in on me multiple times during the day and let me just ramble to her about different things so that I wouldn’t be tempted to drink 🥰❤️🥰❤️ So yeah, she’s a good egg.

🌟 @sixhours nominated @bumblepony 🌟

Hello m'dear, I have an entry for your end-of-year celebration. 🥶 I wanted to give a shout-out to @bumblepony who, in addition to being a talented and prolific fic writer, has commissioned sooooooo many artworks for other TLOU fanfic writers this year (myself included). She's a gem, and this fandom is so fortunate to have her. 🥰

🌟 @bluestar22x nominated @trulybetty and @morallyinept 🌟

Can't narrow down my pick for this to one, so @trulybetty and @morallyinept are both getting nominated. Both have been so kind and supportive of me and both are super talented writers. Thank you both for your kind words and sharing your wonderful fics.

🌟 @i-love-movies nominated @thegreenkid2 🌟

I nominate @thegreenkid2 with whom I had so many lovely chats about Pedro and movies in general sometimes for hours and very late into the night. I really enjoy geeking out together over so many different things.

🌟 @sp00kymulderr nominated @dieterbravobrainrotclub 🌟

Every member of the brainrot club, for being feral and silly and fun and thoughtful and insightful in so many ways. For making my year extra special. For making so many fun memories, and helping to lighten the mood. For your dedication to the man that is Dieter Bravo.

☃️ your favorite line of fic that you wrote this year

🌟 @bluestar22x - The Outcast

Favorite line: Guiding you into your future, like you had guided him home.

Fic: The Outcast

What makes it special to you: It's hard to pick one line from a fanfic I wrote this year, but I do love this line that ends my story "The Outcast". It's the first favorite line I thought of because it's simple and calls back to how it began. The fic is very themed around finding/discovering what you need with the help of another person.

🌟 @bitchesuntitled - Xerox

Favorite line: Jamie lets out a pathetic, “Oh d-d-dear,” sounding almost identical to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, and audibly gulps while furiously nodding his head.

Fic: Xerox

What makes it special to you: I knew from the moment I started writing this story that I wanted Xerox!Pedro to be this inexperienced bumbling idiot and thinking about him stuttering out an “Oh dear” like Piglet cracked me up so much 🤣 It still makes me laugh whenever I see it/think about it

🌨️ your favorite memory from fandom this year

🌟 @sp00kymulderr had a favorite memory with @chronically-ghosted

We created the Dieter Bravo Brainrot Club in January 2024 and it has been easily my favourite place to hangout this year. I'm so glad that it exists, and I want to shout out: YOU, Taylor. The Dieter brainrot would not even exist without you. I love how we have spent so much time together this year spiralling over That Man. I love that I got to read so many of your wonderful fics about him, and scream about him with you. I love that we created a space together for others who feel the same way. I love being your friend.

🌟 @i-love-movies had a favorite memory with @miss-mandalorian

This fandom gave me a lovely friendship with @miss-mandalorian which I cherish very much even though a big ass ocean lies between us and we have yet to meet IRL. She just recently set me the most lovely gift. 💖

🌲 your favorite piece of media you made for fandom this year

🌟 @i-love-movies is super proud of:

Gladiator 2 South Park! Pedros

"I made this set of Gladiator 2 South Park! Pedros. I haven't posted a lot of South Park! Pedro this year cause I didn't feel very creative. This one sparked some of my creativity again."

#let's celebrate #end of the year #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

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queen-of-deans-booty · 1 day ago

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Baby: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

It's been a month since Molly has been living at the Bunker with your family. You wanted to give the kids a chance to get to know her before school starts. It's been going about as well as you expected it to go. Joanna absolutely loves her, Maryann is a bit cautious, and Noah makes it clear he doesn't like her. Molly is doing her best to help with chores and taking care of the dogs as well as getting used to the kids.

She's been dedicating all of her time being with the kids, taking them out to the park, and allowing them room to get used to her. You don't want her to feel suffocated here so you help where you can to give her a break so she spends her time in the library reading about anything and everything. Her knowledge of the hunting life wasn't that big but now she has an entire library full of lore to fall back on.

If she's going to be taking care of Winchester children, she has to know what's out there. She's a good hunter but there is always room for improvement.

You're in the kitchen making the kids lunch while Molly helps the girls get ready for school. Noah is the first one in the kitchen and the first one to grab his lunch.

"Can you at least pretend you like Molly?"

"I don't know why she's even here. I don't need a babysitter. I'm almost thirteen."

"She's not a babysitter." You sigh and lean against the kitchen island. "I've done things I'm not proud of, Noah, and I need to know that when your dad, uncle, and I are gone from this Bunker, you're safe. Just you being a Winchester has enough of a target on your back. I need someone here to look after you not because I don't trust you but because I love you. I think you're old enough to go to school on your own but your sisters aren't. What if something happens to you on the way to school? What will you do? You're not prepared but Molly is."

"How long is she going to be here?"

"I don't know. Right now, I need all the help I can get."

"Guess."

"At least a year. Maybe more. Work with her, Noah. All I ask is that you try. Can you do that for me, please?"

"Alright," Noah sighs.

"Thank you."

You pull Noah in for a hug he acts like he doesn't want but you see the smile on his face. You kiss the top of his head just as Molly and your daughters walk in. You give the lunches to Molly who packs them inside their backpacks.

"Thanks for doing this, Molly."

"It's no problem, really."

She leaves with the kids to bring them to their first day of school. Noah is starting the 7th grade, Joanna is starting Kindergarten, and Maryann is in preschool. You can't wait for them to get home so you can hear all about their day. This past month has been especially hard for you because you're in a constant battle between yourself and wanting to give your kids the love they deserve.

You're not fully back yet and you're not sure when you will be. You have to take it day by day and see how you feel but you can already tell this isn't going to be a good one. As soon as the kids are gone, the tears come. You put your hand to your mouth to silence your sobs but two manage to escape.

No, we're not doing this today. A month with your soul restored isn't enough time to get over just how bad you were... how many people you've killed. I need Dean. He makes everything better even if he's just standing there. He and Sam decided to forgive you for what you did but you know you have a long road ahead of you of making it up to them. Thank God your kids don't know what you did otherwise you'd have killed yourself for sure.

You wipe the tears from your face and go find your husband who is inside the garage washing his precious car... again. His back is turned to you as he leans over the trunk to wash the back window. You want to help him. You want to be able to go over to him and offer to help but you feel frozen in your stance. How can you ever go back to doing normal shit when you feel so far from normal?

Someone walks up behind you and you turn to see Sam there. You mutter a quick apology and move out of his way. He decides to give you some space and walks over to his brother who just now notices you two.

"Hey. Did you find anything?"

"On the Darkness? No."

"What about Metatron?"

"No."

"Great. So, we have an ancient evil out there somewhere just getting stronger by the day."

"Cas is getting better so there's that. He still needs more time to heal, though."

Sam grabs a sponge and helps his brother wash the car while you stay by the door and watch them.

"I guess we got nothing to do but get better. Speaking of, you doing alright, sweetheart?"

Both brothers look at you and you blush out of embarrassment.

"Fine."

Dean hums but goes back to what he was doing. He doesn't believe you but that's a conversation to be had in the privacy of your own bedroom instead of in front of Sam.

"I don't know about you two, but I've got some serious cabin fever. I've washed every car in here twice."

"I may have found us a case in Oregon. I mean, it's thin but--"

"Thin works. Tell me on the way."

While the brothers dry the soap and water off the car, you take your phone out and text Molly your plans.

You: Hey, the boys and I are going to Oregon for a case. We should be back by the end of the week.

Molly: Go. I got this.

You really don't deserve her and you barely even know her. You're not sure where you're at but when it starts raining, Dean scoffs knowing he just washed his car. You're sitting in the back seat with your head resting on the window watching the drops of water race down the window.

"Alright, let's hear it. What are we getting into?"

"There's a town outside of Eugene, Oregon called Quaker Valley. Dwayne Markham, the local sheriff, was found in the woods a couple of days ago. His body was mauled so they chalked it up to an animal attack, but I'm thinking it could be a werewolf."

"You're right. That is thin."

"Probably nothing, right?"

"Probably not. Oregon, here we come."

Sam's phone rings and he answers Castiel's call. He places him on speakerphone and you pull your eyes away from the window to look at the phone as if Castiel is standing right there.

"Hey, Cas. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just reading up about the other cases in the area that you're headed to. I haven't found anything yet that matches."

"Cas, you've got one job to do and that's to heal."

"I can help, Dean."

"Yeah, I know but now is the time for you to focus on getting better. This is just a milk run. We got it. So, try and relax."

"Alright."

"Read a book and watch some Netflix."

"What's a 'Netflix'?"

"Go to my room and turn on the TV. It's the red and black icon. You'll figure it out."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Got it. Thanks, Cas." Sam hangs up. "Do you think he's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. He just needs some time, you know? We all do."

I don't think time will fix me. Dean doesn't want to drive all the way to Oregon in one trip so he stops somewhere in Salt Lake City to get some rest for the night. He pulls up in front of a sketchy-looking bar called The Roadhouse, and all you can think about is getting a room and crying yourself to sleep.

"Are you serious, Dean? It's late. I'm exhausted and starving. This place... I mean, even Swayze wouldn't come to this roadhouse."

"Okay, first of all, never use Swayze's name in vain. Okay? Ever. Second, you don't remember this place? You don't remember the hunt we worked on with the Wendigo a couple of years ago?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Look, we have a lot of driving to do just to go to a town where there's probably not a case. We could make this night a good one if we let it. What do you say? Sweetheart?"

"I don't care," you sigh and look down.

"I say, knock yourself out. I'm gonna find a diner, dig into the lore like Cas did, and see if anything has ever happened where we're headed."

"Oh, man, you really gotta learn to have fun. Seriously, it's pathetic. Come on, sweetheart. Let's go."

You and Dean separate from Sam once you all get out of the car. Just let me cry in peace. Dean has to drag you into the lively bar, and you take out your phone to message Molly.

You: How was the kids' first day of school?

Molly: It went as expected. It was a good first day and now they're in their beds sleeping.

Dean reaches over and takes your phone from you before you have a chance to message Molly back. You and Dean sit at the bar, both of you wearing different faces. The bartender looks at you and decides your poison will be the strongest drink they have, but you don't touch it.

"Just give me one night where you block everything out, okay?"

"I can't, Dean," you sigh.

"What's it going to take for you to be okay?"

You snap your head up and glare at Dean who is taken aback by your sudden change in attitude.

"This isn't some depressive episode, Dean. For an entire year, I spent life soulless. For an entire year, I... hurt people... killed people with my magic. My magic that is supposed to be used to heal people. That doesn't go away after two months."

"Yeah, I know--"

"No, you don't know. You want to know but you don't, and I don't expect you to. Just stop pretending like everything is fine when it's not."

You get up and walk to the bathroom without another word. Dean sighs and looks at his phone thoughtfully. He's debating on calling Sam but decides against it. He wants to be there for you but he doesn't know how if he can't understand. Maybe he should call the new Death and make him put a wall in your head. After taking a moment or two to yourself, you walk back out of the bathroom and over to Dean.

"Enjoy your time here, Dean. I'm getting a motel for the night. I'm tired."

"Y/N--"

"Goodnight, Dean."

You leave your phone with him and leave the bar. There is a motel right across the street from the bar so that's where you walk over to. There are a lot of rooms available but you don't care which one you get. You just need to get inside a room before you break down crying. You pay for the night and leave with the key in hand. You don't bother locking the door because as soon as you close the door, you're already in tears.

You sit on the edge of the bed and look down at your hands. Hands that have killed. They glow softly with blue magic but seeing that magic brings such a heavy weight to your heart. It hurts to see your magic. It's like someone has stabbed you in the heart and left a dull knife inside of you. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to think. It hurts to live. I hurt all over and Dean doesn't even know. You put your head in your hands and sob. Your wails are loud enough that you're sure the neighbors on either side of you can hear you.

You jump when you feel a hand touch your shoulder but you don't look at who it is. You already know who it is. Dean pulls you into his arms and lets you sob into his chest. He is here for you through your worst and will do anything to take care of you no matter what that entails. Seeing you this way is worse than seeing you without a soul. He knows you're hurting and he can't do anything to make it better. At least with before, he knew the real you was stuck inside his head. He knew he could fix that.

He doesn't know how to fix this.

As soon as the sun starts shining through the window, you and Dean are already heading back to the Impala. You don't know if you can talk about what happened and Dean doesn't force you to. What he did last night helped only because it was he who was holding you. He stayed up well past after you fell asleep just to listen to you breathe. He prayed that you'd make it out okay for whatever it's worth.

You stop short when you see Sam naked in the back seat with a blonde woman on top of him. You gasp loud enough to wake her up, and she looks around frantically.

"Who are you two?" she asks.

"Sam!"

"Ah, what?" He opens his eyes and looks at you and Dean sheepishly. "This is my brother, Dean, and his wife, Y/N."

You immediately look away when she shifts enough to reveal Sam's cock. You know what it looks like but you don't want to violate him like that.

"Sorry, Sam, I didn't realize you had company," Dean chuckles.

"Yeah, uh, could you give us a minute?"

"Yeah."

Dean takes your hand and heads to the diner that's in the same complex as the bar. You two take a table by the window with a clear shot of the Impala, and Dean orders for you two. You look away from the car with a sigh, and Dean slides your phone across the table toward you.

"I charged it for you."

"Thanks," you whisper.

After getting some food in your stomach, you see the woman Sam was with walk into the diner wearing a uniform. Son of a bitch works here. Dean pays for the bill and you two walk back out to the car where Sam is now in the front seat. He is buttoning up his shirt but you don't immediately get in the back. You open the trunk and grab some baby wipes from the baby bag you have stashed back here. You notice your own bag and ruffle through it until you find what you're looking for. You close the trunk and start wiping the back seat with the baby wipes.

"I put a blanket down," Sam huffs out.

"My kids sit back here, Sam. I don't need them contracting a disease because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

Once you deem it safe to sit back there, you climb into the car and clutch the notebook you grabbed from your bag to your chest. Dean grabs a cassette tape from the glove compartment and shoves it into the player.

"Dean, I can explain what was going on--"

"No, no, no. No need."

Bob Seger's "Night Moves" starts playing and Sam scoffs at the silent message Dean is trying to tell him.

"Don't 'Night Moves' me."

"Shh. Just let it wash over you. Just take it in," he smirks.

"This is ridiculous."

"He's one of the greatest rock writers of all time, Samuel."

He rolls his eyes. "It's Sam."

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