#that i feel would strike him as kind of odd. what does he imagine is up with them.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

yknow what minor transient detail abt s4 is fun to me? prior to john's reveal, noel apparently assumes the KIY to be a totally unfamiliar character to them both. he pauses his story to give background info on him ("he rules the dreamlands, he's a master manipulator, etc") in a way he doesn't with other stuff. he points out yellow like "that's the bitch btw. if you were curious." which is. like he knows they were in the dreamlands. i think he knows or at least assumes they were in the pits for a while given they ran into lorick. what does he think they were doing there. just. passing through??

[sharkrocket]

daniil crying daniil crying daniil crying

i like to imagine that he almost never cries and i just wanna know what finally makes him break down and ugly cry

OH MAN, I 100 percent agree with this, he strikes me as the kind of person to bottle up everything and try to push all his emotions down, but those emotions end up manifesting in negative/self-destructive ways until the weight of everything finally causes him to break down

There's a fic I love that does this really well, please read Shedding Skin by Plaguedboar, I binged all thirteen chapters in two days and was ugly crying by the end of it

Daniil and Artemy come to a slow harrowing realization about their feelings towards each other, but they both recognize how dangerous and destructive acting on those feelings might be. After Daniil takes a bullet for Artemy, it drives a wedge between them, Daniil pushing Artemy further and further away, as Artemy increasingly believes that Daniil sees him as something dangerous - something with the capacity to destroy him. That if Artemy allowed himself to love him and keep him in the town, Daniil will die

❗ SPOILERS ❗

The reason why Daniil ends up taking the bullet is because he realizes that he's also in love with Artemy, but truly believes that he's not worthy of being loved and that he'll ruin Artemy just like how he's ruined everything else he's touched. So, by dying by saving Artemy's life, it would have have been the best thing he could do for the both of them. However, because Artemy ends up saving him, Daniil becomes devastated and does everything in his power to make Artemy hate him and leave him, if he knows what's good for him. In turn, it causes Artemy to question if he's even capable of loving anyone. Thus, begins a cycle of Daniil being as cold and hateful as possible, throwing insults and being self-destructive, while Artemy keeps trying to save him, which only pushes Daniil to be more hateful and self-destructive....

❗ END SPOILERS ❗

There's a beautiful moment at the end where it culminates in Daniil walking out into the steppe to die, and against all odds, Artemy finds him there. After all this time, after all the insults, the coldness, the violence, Artemy decides to love Daniil despite it all and follows him into the wide expanse. Even then, the Capital Snake is still trying to spit venom - doing everything in his power to get Artemy to leave and let him die, but it doesn't work because Artemy finally sees through the facade. He reaches past the Bachelor's many roles and holds on to the Daniil that's terrified of loving and being loved in return, and that's when Daniil finally breaks and allows his vulnerability to bleed through

PLEASE READ THIS!! The angst and catharsis of it all is immense, and I can't recommend it enough!!

[pia-nor481]

Max Verstappen NSFW alphabet

A-Aftercare (what they're like after sex?)

I feel as though he likes to be very sweet and soft so aftercare is very important to him. He's very fond of cuddles and running his hands all over his partner's body, maybe she resting against his chest. He really likes showers together so I think that's really common when at home.

B-Body part (what is their favourite part of theirs and their partner?)

As strange as it sounds I think he really likes his leg (have you seen his thighs and calves? Hot) so I believe he may like thigh riding for that reason. Furthermore, he must really like his girlfriend's thighs, keeping his hand resting on them, slapping them lightly in normal situations. Perhaps fucking her thighs from time to time.

I also think he likes his partner's lips, just so pretty. But also when they're around his cock.

C-Cum (anything to do with cum)

I actually think he likes to cum in a condom. He doesn't like to be messy, so that would help with that. But he would really like to cum in his partner's mouth. However I think he has a soft spot for facials.

D-Dirty secret (just a dirty secret of theirs)

I think, back in the day, he really wanted to have a threesome with Daniel. He never actually asked, but he would still be open to it

E- Experience (how experienced are they)

I think he may actually be very experienced, quite a lot of hook ups too. I'm not sure why I think this but you know. Not to be evil or anything but I think the first few times he would have to be guided a bit.

F- Favourite position

I think a position where he can see her face, so mostly positions where his girlfriend on her back. But I feel as though he would like to hook her legs over his shoulders. Or maybe where she has her legs around his waist and hands on the back of his heads. So things like 'the drop box' and 'counter top'

G- Goofy (how serious are they in the moment)

I think he'd be a lot more serious, even though (off track) he can be a silly, he's a very funny guy. But at the same time I also imagine some very unserious situations- I'll touch more on this in kinks. Over all I think it's 50/50 as his job is very serious all of the time, so he would want something different to that.

H- Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes)

He's one of the odd few whose pubic hair is actually lighter. I also feel as though he's lazy with trimming it, I'm not sure why, but he doesn't strike me as someone who shaves/trims every few weeks.

I- Intimacy (how are they during the moment? Romantic? Pleasure driven?)

He definitely likes to be more romantic, it just in his nature to be caring and loving (not to get into daddy issues or anything) so I see him as someone who really wants to pleasure his partner. But of course there are many times where he just wants to cum, whether that be post race or especially post-interview/ media work. (And he deserves it!!!)

J- Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't believe he masturbates very often, if he does then it will be because his partner is not with him, or she just isn't in the mood. (We love a consent king)

I feel like he masturbates mostly in his drivers room tbh, with a locked door ofc. But that's where he needs a quick release

K- Kinks (one or more of their kinks)

Acarophilia- becoming aroused from scratching. This sounds strange however, I think he may have seen a lot of media that expresses "if you've got scratched on your back you've done a good job" so I feel as though it's stemmed from this, and it gives him a sense of pride

Cock worship- he likes praise, give it to him. Both verbally and physically, he doesn't like to be edged though

Snow balling- passing of body fluids from mouth to mouth- but I don't think of it in this context. He likes to make out after giving head, or getting head. Can be kind of linked to a spit kink. At the end of the day he does really enjoy dominance (in all aspects of his life) so this is one of them.

Switch- now, I think he can just about be called a switch, as it is very rare for him to sub. He just likes giving up control every now and then. Mostly in winter and summer breaks from racing. This may link with power/role play, as people who dominate and make a lot of decisions in their day to day lives are like to want to give up control in their sex life to ‘get a break’

Role play- he likes his girlfriend to dress up, his favourite is police woman or nurse. He likes to give her a role that had authority.

L- Location (their favourite place)

I think he might really like hotels as he doesn’t have to clean up any of the mess in the room (he tips real good though) He probably favours more ‘domestic’ places, like the sofa (couch but I’m British so sofa)

Yes he is apart of the mile high club, but he felt as though they needed to be really quiet.

M- Motivation (what gets them going?)

Begging, his girlfriend telling him how desperate she is for him, and that he needs to fuck her, he’s just so pleased with himself, and her, that he can’t help but immediately get hard.

Or just generally getting felt up.

N- No (what turns them off)

Anything actually dangerous. For example asphyxiation- he wouldn’t mind having his hand around her throat, or restricting blood flow to her head for no longer than three seconds, to give that breathless/choking feeling, but he would try to steer away from it.

O- Oral (preference on giving or receiving. Skill)

He loves receiving as much as giving. I see him as a pleasure dom so he loved to eat pussy. But who is he to deny an orgasm from her mouth? I feel like he’s quite confident and capable

P- Pace (Are they fast or slow? Rough or sensual?)

Definitely more slow and sensual as he would really want her to feel how much he loves her. He makes love, he doesn’t fuck. But if you wanted it hardcore he’d be happy to oblige.

Q- Quickie (their opinions on them? How often?)

I don’t think he likes them very much. He’s actually quite patient, and so wants to take his time admiring and giving praise. Ofc he does have quickies here and there, mainly in his drivers room, or if he’s running late but still needs some pleasure.

R- Risk (will they experiment? Do they take risks?)

He won’t try it if he doesn’t think he will like it. His mindset is pretty fixed. However if you were to really explain how much you want it and how good it would make you feel, he would be persuaded. But if he felt genuinely uncomfortable he would definitely say he doesn’t want to do that again. But he’s willing to try a few things.

S- Stamina (how many rounds do they go for?)

Again I think he can last for a long time, just not may rounds. Maybe two in a day. He just can’t cum more than that or he’ll be shooting blanks.

T-Toys (do they own any? Do they use them? On a partner or themself?)

He never used to, but if he found out that she owned a vibrator of some kind he’d really like to see her use it. Then he’d like to use it on her, he wanted to know how different the orgasm felt when he was giving it to her. But I don’t think he’d use many on himself. Maybe a cock ring during a role play or when he’s subbing. He does really warm up to them and is willing to try all different kinds to see what makes her cum fastest or hardest.

U-Unfair (how much do they tease?)

In my mind he hates teasing himself, but he knows a little edging can heighten the orgasm so he would never be apposed to it. However it won’t be a spur of the moment thing, he will need to think about it for a while prior to the sex

V-Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

I don’t believe that he is overly loud, very quiet grunts and groans. But he loves to hear his partner, it gives him a sense of pride

W-Wild card (a random headcanon)

A little later into the relationship, where he’s developed a fondness for toys, he though about buying a sex toy advent calendar (he had already bought one before telling her) and he was so excited throughout December as he wondered what was behind the door and how loud her moans would be

X-X-ray (how big are they?)

I think Max is of average length, but he’s very thick. And was very pleased to hear that’s what a lot of women prefer. I think his cock may turn right ever so slightly

Y- Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

I’d say he has a pretty low sex drive, maybe 4/10 he doesn’t see that as a main part of a relationship so he doesn’t think about it as much as people expect

Z-Zzz (how quick do they fall asleep afterwards?)

If he was subbing, he’d fall asleep so quick, defiantly still covered in cum. But if he was dominant, I think it would take a while as he really likes quality time, so he’d like to just talk, whisper sweet nothings, and cuddle for a while, until he gets too hot. (I found that interview so funny)

Let me know any thoughts you have, I’d love to hear.

[deadboy-edwin]

I have this idea for payneland:

Both of them get hit with some kind of spell of sorts that makes them "human" for 24 hours (basically like when they were alive: people can see them, hear them, touch them, they can taste and feel things again, the works)

What do you think they'd do in that time? Maybe taste their fav foods again?

So please bear with me as this will be more of brainrot than an actual fic because I just want to yap- but in my head, it would be kinda funny if the gang was able to get Tragic Mick to turn back into a walrus. The goddess Sedna would then "punish" the boys for daring to defy her- since she had said that Mick would never return to the sea if he chose to leave.

I feel like Sedna would lowkey have a soft spot for abused children, and would also see Mick's love for the sea, and on the inside not really be that mad tbh. Hence the "punishment". She'd "curse" Edwin and Charles to be alive once more.

They don't really know if it's permanent or whatever, but can you imagine the hilarity of Edwin being so used to phasing through walls and doors, then him just walking straight into a door and smacking into it because he's solid- Crystal would have a field day ribbing him for it.

I think, them being human would make them quite unable to take on cases, since admittedly them being regular humans (not everyone can be Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft okay) makes them vulnerable to beings like demons. So they'd have some downtime. That gives Charles time to think.

Being fully corporeal also allows Crystal to hang out with them like she would with living people. It also allows Crystal to notice things about them that would not have been possible when they were ghosts- like Charles blushing when Edwin adjusts his collar so it's up. Or how the two boys are so tactile. Sure, they'd always been tactile, but why does it seem Charles is extra touchy, now that both boys can feel physical touch?

I think Edwin, bitchy little nerd that he is (and we love him for it) would have a field day with Google. He'd struggle with whatever the fuck a laptop is, and how LED screens strain his poor eyes, and probs get those anti-blue light glasses, and Charles would have a bisexual awakening because Edwin in glasses???

Charles, on the other hand. I feel like boy would want to party. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would be fun at parties, and he'd probably drag the gang to a nightclub after spending the entire day eating different kinds of food (I think he'd enjoy cookie dough ice cream- but that's just me projecting my own cravings).

At the club, Charles might be a bit sulky because Edwin had spent a lot of the day on Crystal's laptop, despite them switching restaurants so that they could try everything- and he's thankful that the laptop is not present at the club.

Unfortunately, Edwin is Edwin, and his brand of anti-rizz also works on the living. You have living people coming up to him left and right, and Charles wonders why this hasn't happened much in death.

Crystal is fast to point out that it's because ghosts are invisible to regular humans. Edwin is not a ghost at the moment, so he's not invisible. She also makes it a point to tell Charles about exactly how many people had simped for Edwin in the afterlife (Monty, the Cat King, hello????)

I think Charles would then get drunk. One, because he's been a ghost for some thirty-odd years. Dude has no fucking clue what his alcohol tolerance levels are. Two, because he gets annoyed that Edwin is getting hit on so much.

There is a third reason that comes to mind once he's fully inebriated, and it's the fact that the following thoughts aren't exactly heterosexual

Getting pouty when your best mate isn't paying attention to you while you are having a meal together

Staring and practically drooling when your best mate is wearing glasses

Getting upset when guys and girls (despite Edwin's lack of interest in the latter) keep flirting with Edwin

Wanting to feel Edwin's touch while he has all his senses at full blast

The plot twist here is that since Edwin is also alive and fully corporeal, our repressed Edwardian boy has actually been icing Charles out because as a human, he does not have the luxury of willing erections away.

I think though, because it seems like immortal beings in the DBDA universe have a sense of humor (hi, Cat King and Esther- wicked as her sense of humor is), when Charles finally makes a move and pulls Edwin away from the admittedly gorgeous guy that had been chatting him up with a "He's in love with me, and vice versa, I'm afraid" and kissing Edwin in the middle of the dance floor, is when they turn back into ghosts.

Even though they're now invisible to most humans once more, Edwin is still quick to berate Charles on the PDA- though there's a softness to his berating.

They end up discovering that as ghosts, they can still feel physical sensations if there's enough emotion involved.

That is a fortunate discovery for all parties involved, especially for our girl Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft, who walks into the office a few days after the club debacle, and sees Edwin pressing Charles up against a bookcase, snogging him with a fervor, his thigh working its way in between Charles' legs---

"Hot," Crystal comments with a smirk, causing the two boys to jump apart with matching sheepish grins on their faces. "If I'd known Edwin kissed like that, I would've gotten it on with him instead."

[omi-papus]

What to me strikes as the most impactful part of the Hope speech is the fact that Al-An dosent entierly need it. The player is not once given the impresion that Al-An has any intention of giving up. Hes even shown being offended by the idea in the deleted voice lines. But there is always this feeling that he is running purely on the obligations to continue. Of not being able to concive of stopping because what would become of him?

A few times I might have mentioned the fact that Al-An hasnt always been Al-An. Actually Al-An has only really existed at all for a very short time. There has been the part of the network that seems to be handy good at science, but all that Al-An is has been born out of crisis. Even before his disconection, he was set as the sole lead researcher of the cure for Karaah, that might have been the first time he was ever truly singled out as unique. Not one of ten thousand voices but a leader, an authority. An authority that failed. Hes a head researcher that couldnt complete his research.

He was then the one who disobeyed the collective orders. Not the networks decision but his. And subsequently the one at fault for the destruction of the laboratory and the release of the disease into the planet. These are framed not as the actions of the architects but of an individual, and he clearly belives this too. He blames only himself.

And then he was Human seed code-Almanac, a single string, alone, unable to do barely anything, and ridden with guilt, nostalgia and petrifying fear.

Al-An is a collection the worst of him. Born in times of crisis, cemented in catastrophic failure, and given a name in isolation.

Within the character we see in game there is both the collective and there is Al-An. His actions throughout the game are what is left of the collective, of the architects mission. The task of procuring a cure for the Karaah and bringing it home. A task that is inherent and unquestionable reguardless of the method. One that at no point left him. Al-An is all the rest. The bundle of autism that tries to do a sarcasm to get back at his human host, who finds the idea of being put inside a fish disturbing, who is full of guilt and terrified of being alone forever.

The mission of the architects was never going to stop. Whats left of the collectives objective is unshakable in the face of all odds. Al-An on the other hand can break. Al-An might not survive the fallout of his actions. The cure would be brought to the homeworld, and then it will be done. Mission acomplished. But then all that will be left is Al-An. He will be the one who will miss the sounds of his people, he will be the one who has to face extinction on his own if he is the last one. And Al-An cant do that. Not alone.

And Robin obviously dosent make this overly complicated distinction. She dosent know that the will of the architects will drag his corpse for as long as it has to to acomplish its goals. Because Robin dosent know the collectives will. Robin only know that pesky englishman sounding alien that bullies her about her joints.

Al-An had never been reached out to with kindness before. Al-An had never been aknowledged in the way that Robin does. In that scene, we see the first time Al-An has been told that he is worthy of any type of positivity. That he deserves some peace of mind while he completes his mission. That he dosent deserve to agonize over his fate when hes busy fighting for a better future.

On a surface level, Robin is telling him to not give up. But really when she tells him to have hope, she is telling the vulnerable, guilt ridden person behind the voice that he deserves to feel ok. That he gets to look forward to being with his family again, instead of dreading finding them dead. That he gets to be enthusiastic about finally getting home. That he can imagine his planet prospering and the sounds of the network as vibrant as ever.

Hes being told that he deserves that. That Al-An, disgraces scientis Al-An, gets to make it through this too. Al-An isnt just his failures but also all the reasons why he dosent just have to, but wants to save his people. Al-An is the one that misses the networks thrum, Al-An is the one that is afraid of loosing everything they worked for, Al-An is the one who remembers the Torloque parades and the pets they used to keep. Al-An is his feelings and his dreams. And those dont deserve to die either. Because in that moment, Robin heard Al-An starting to slip. And Al-An contrary to the collectives will does need to be told that. He would have died if he allowed himself to suffer through that distructive dispair alone. Left a husk of himself driven only by the singular instincs to finish a job.

“Have hope” means “You dont have to suffer through this. You dont have to neglect and emotionally hurt yourself in order to succeed. All the things that make you you, good and bad, are important, and deserve happyness.”

Hope, is a coping mechanism designed for people after all.

[angel-fics]

In The Room Where You Sleep

Summary: Dalton was just being curious and stumbles upon something he probably shouldn’t have. He then does something he shouldn’t have.

Warnings: Mentions of the Further, mentions of entities, Dalton being a creep, stalking, voyeurism, masturbation (f & m), sexual fantasies

All credit to @glodessa who wrote the imagine that inspired this, so much talent there and you’re feeding my Dalton addiction

Dalton was your friend. His primary art class was in the studio next to the orchestra rooms where you practiced in. He’d wandered in on you playing a section piece on the violin after he’d forgotten that his class was cancelled.

Since you two had obviously seen each other on multiple occasions when going to and leaving from class, he’d felt comfortable striking up a conversation. He usually wasn’t into initiating introductions, but Chris had started forcing him to interact with more people and make friends. You were the first person he had introduced himself to without her assistance.

In a way, he felt a sick sense of possession when it came to you because of that. It made him feel funny, like he was gross and he tried to stomp it down, but it would crawl it’s way up his throat whenever you talked to him. He’d met you all on his on, without a buffer or cleverly charming segue. You knew him for him from the get go, and still liked him. You liked him enough to start waiting for him before classes for a chat. You liked him enough to exchange contacts and let him take pictures of you to save for his own personal enjoyment put into his saved contacts.

You liked him enough to let him walk you back to your dorms every time he had the chance to. Which he did, considering he started walking a different path to insure that he would run into you more often.

He didn’t think he was odd, not really. Lots of friends took secret pictures of each other. For fun, it was funny, like a secret joke. And lots of friends walked together in between classes, it was normal. Even if they didn’t share certain classes. Or if one of the friends wasn’t completely aware that the other friend was nearby.

Dalton didn’t consider it strange that he didn’t like when you talked to Chris, or any of his other friends. Or anyone that might find you attractive. In his eyes, that should’ve meant everyone. You were gorgeous and people should be falling over themselves trying to be with you, in his opinion. But you were his. His friend, at least. And he hated not having your full attention.

Nighttime was the worst, in some ways. You two had met up on occasion to help each other study or wind down from an intense test. But most nights, you turned in early to spend time with your roommate. Dalton hated your roommate, she was so clingy and always convinced you to go back to the dorms, cutting off his time with you. He thought she was off, or at least very selfish, and that she used every opportunity to guilt you and take advantage of your kindness and naivety.

Dalton would never do that, he was lucky to get to be your friend. You were beautiful, talented, kind and accepting. You even accepted his ability of astral projection without hesitation. You were beyond perfect to him, and if he wasn’t with you, he was thinking about you. Constantly, and usually aloud, much to Chris’ annoyance.

“Dolphin! Please, for the love of fuck, ask that girl out already. You’re driving me nuts!” She threw herself back onto the spare bed in Dalton’s dorm in dramatic agony, groaning loudly in complaint.

“No, Chris. She’ll just think that I became friends with her because I wanted to get in her pants,” he dismissed, tossing a dirty t-shirt into his hamper a little too forcefully.

“Isn’t that what all guys do? What’s the big deal?” Chris sat up again to try to convince him. It wasn’t the first time either, but she was almost positive that you liked Dalton back and would rather you keep his mouth too occupied for him to verbally obsess over you. Like he was doing right now.

“I’m not going to do that, Chris. Just drop it.” His voice was unnervingly firm and Chris snapped her mouth shut before another incentive could fall out. Dalton was usually mild-mannered, at least when it came to anyone but his dad, not really the aggressive type. Anti-social and surly, but not aggressive. Unless it had something to do with you.

Chris thought there was something not quite right about Dalton’s crush on you but she figured his abnormal childhood and resulting trauma made it hard for him properly process his feelings. And she was reluctant to ask in case it set him off.

“I heard her roommate is going home to her parents’ for her dad’s birthday, maybe y’all can hang out more this weekend,” Chris suggested instead, unfettered by Dalton’s tone. “She left earlier this afternoon.”

Something seized in Dalton’s chest. You hadn’t mentioned that to him. You didn’t have a reason not to. Was there someone else? Were you going to spend the whole weekend with another guy? Did you have a boyfriend? Anger and hatred for this secret man clouded his mind and he felt like throwing something against the wall until it broke.

“I hadn’t heard about that,” he replied to Chris coolly. “I’ve got some homework to finish, do you mind?”

Chris nodded slowly, grabbing her bag and quickly making her way to the door, watching Dalton worriedly. She gave a half-hearted wave goodbye and left without a word.

As soon as the door shut, he quickly locked it, tearing his ball cap from his head and flinging thoughtlessly towards his desk, knocking over a small stack of his sketchbooks and a tin of water. Cursing under his breath, Dalton begrudgingly trudged to clean up the mess before the water could stain or damage any of his work.

After mopping up the water, he flipped through his drawings to check if any of it ruined the paper. One of the sketchbooks was relatively new, but nearly full of pencil and ink sketches. Of you.

Most of them took up an entire page of their own. They were innocent, somewhat, just candids that he’d done while or after hanging out with you. You smiling, laughing, playing the violin, biting your lip awkwardly. Gorgeous and sweet.

There were some other ones, smaller in comparison to the rest and done with a light hand. You changing through the window of your room. You bending over at work. You crying to your mom on the phone after you tore your favorite dress right before a date you ended up not going on. Done in a hurry by someone who was sketching without a still reference.

It was not stalking. No, he wasn’t like that. He didn’t threaten you or send you lewd messages. He didn’t get off on scaring you or making you feel unsafe. He wanted you to feel safe around him, did everything in his power to make sure you were always comfortable with him. Plus, he never invaded your privacy, he just looked. Watched. It was friendly, protective even.

Plus, those sketches were nothing compared to the rest. Small enough for three separate drawings to fit on a page, and darkly filled in with a heavy and rough hand.

It wasn’t intentional, not at first. He was a guy. You were his crush. He couldn’t control his own thoughts, let alone his dreams. It happened, and it was completely normal and natural. Not at all creepy or perverted.

He dreamt of you often. He couldn’t keep his mind off you even in his sleep. Of course, his unconscious mind was different than his conscious mind. Mostly, anyway. A lot more eager for you, hungry for you.

The pencil drawings were of you as you appeared to him in his dreams. Bent over his desk, wearing a string of pearls and a sultry smile. You, on his bed with your legs spread out invitingly, your fingers scissoring your slick folds. There was even one featuring him, his lower face dripping with drool and your arousal as his tongue delved into your wet heat from under you. That one was his favorite, even if the drawing itself wasn’t exactly his best work skill-wise. He had a hard time balancing the pad with only one hand, which he was also using to draw.

Dalton sighed and picked up all of the sketch pads, putting them back where they were and collapsing on his back on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering if he should bring up your roommate leaving and confront you about not telling him. You must have had a good reason, right? It’s not like you were getting tired of him or anything. Right?

As he drifted further and further into his thoughts, the room became darker around him. Standing up to fix his lamp, he caught the sight of himself sleeping in his peripheral. He’d fallen asleep and accidentally projected.

He didn’t do so often anymore, the Further was a scary and dangerous place and he was cautious of bringing something back with him. But it had its advantages, for pranks or finding out things that others couldn’t. Surprisingly, he’d never used his ability to watch you. You were too pure and beautiful to see through the lenses of the Further, he liked seeing you surrounded by light and color, with no potential of evil spirits ruining the experience for him.

But just this once…

No! He couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

You trusted him, it would be so easy. And it’s not like he was trying to be a weirdo, he just wanted to see if you had plans that weekend without having to actually ask you. It would only be once, for a few minutes. He wouldn’t mess with you or your things. He would just listen in and leave.

He grabbed the lantern and walked out of his room. He could’ve found your dorm with his eyes closed, but since it was in a different building and he was traveling through the Further, it took him longer than he would’ve liked. But at least he didn’t encounter anyone. You lived on the second floor of your dorm house and yours was nicer and more expensive than his. You had your own bedroom and personal bathroom, not having to share with your roommate and the rest of your floor like Dalton did.

Your door was unlocked and after he entered your dorm, he locked it himself, knowing he’d have to unlock again it in order to leave. Your bedroom door was open and he could see you through it, sitting at your desk and typing on your phone. Silently and curiously, he peered over your shoulder to watch you text your roommate.

He rolled his eyes at seeing her contact but ignored it in favor of the messages being sent. Mostly average, just you being your considerate self and asking about her trip home. She, obviously, sent paragraph after paragraph detailing every insignificant second of her weekend away, not once asking anything about you. The entire conversation revolves around her and Dalton had to bite his tongue to avoid scoffing in your ear, which was inches from his mouth.

Finally she asked about you, specifically your plans for while she was gone. Luckily, she could serve a purpose for once, Dalton thought.

You mentioned work, homework and just relaxing and Dalton was tempted to leave and rid himself of his craving to kiss you. Then, he saw you type his name. You wanted to surprise him by inviting him over for a sleepover. Your roommate responded by teasing you about you and Dalton finally progressing to the next stage in your friendship; a relationship.

Huh, maybe your roommate wasn’t as bad as Dalton thought she was.

Dalton’s heart was racing as he continued to read all of your roommate’s suggestions for extremely sexual twists on common sleepover activities, all in order to seduce him. You didn’t have to try to seduce him, but trying any one of these wouldn’t hurt. He felt his cock hardening in his pants and knew that he probably should’ve left. Like, now.

But then you sighed loudly into the empty air. Your head dropped back, your lips parted and you shifted awkwardly in your seat, your thighs pressing together tightly. Dalton felt his mouth water just watching you and suddenly stopped in his tracks. He decided that he would wait until you either went to the bathroom or fell asleep. If he tried leaving before then, you might catch him.

So he stood off to the side and simply observed you from up close. You seemed more deflated when you weren’t around him, less animated and poise. Less…cheery. You continued to stay at your desk texting your roommate for a while before getting up for a glass of water. It seems like she was going to bed. You paced around the kitchen as you sipped your drink, looking slightly anxious about how the conversation ended. Dalton regretted not reading it along with you and now he couldn’t because your phone was off and locked.

Huffing out a tense laugh to yourself, you marched back into your room, passing Dalton to get to your phone. You continued pacing as you opened up your messages and scrolled until you found a particular contact, hesitating for a moment and then opening the chat thread. Dalton stood in front of you this time and read his own name from upside down. Why were you pausing when it came to texting him? Did this happen often? We’re you inviting him over?

He watched you type out a greeting and began pacing in your room. When the message delivered, Dalton panicked before remembering that his phone was next to his actual body. You wouldn’t catch him over his phone notifications sounding off in your otherwise silent room.

You turned off your phone and sat on your bed, your back straight and your eyes staring out into nothingness. Your leg bounced erratically and you started checking your phone every thirty seconds in case you missed his message. You were waiting for a response from him, Dalton realized. And he couldn’t do that while he was standing here with you.

Now was definitely the time to go and you gave him the perfect opportunity when you started collecting your things to take a shower, muttering to yourself about how desperate you were. It was clear that you were agitated from waiting on his message, and he supposed it was because he hardly ever took more than 20 seconds to start typing back. He only took long if he was busy, and he would always tell you beforehand if he was.

As much as he wanted to watch you undress yourself and shower, becoming aroused slightly once more at the idea, he wouldn’t cross that boundary when you were so vulnerable and unaware. It was completely different from the times he watched you change your shirt or remove your bra from outside your window. He was in your home and you were going to be completely naked. Dalton wanted go reserve that honor for when you would strip in front of him eagerly, at least for the first time he ever saw you naked.

*~*~*

Gasping, Dalton sat up in his own bed, his erection pressing against his sweats and his body feeling sweaty. He immediately opened his messages and read your message asking him what he was doing. Getting his own clothing, he walked to the common bathroom in his dorm house and stripped, sending you a picture of his shower stall with the reflection of his bare torso halfway in the frame.

He’d never been so forward with you before. You’d seen him shirtless on occasion, he wasn’t shy about his body, but never on purpose and he hardly ever sent you pictures instead of just telling you what he was doing. But now that he knew you felt the same way he did, he felt confident enough to give actual signals to tell you that.

He turned on the shower and waited for the ancient water settings to actually heat up the water. As he was about to step in, you messaged him back with a photo of your own.

You were wearing nothing but a robe, tied at the waist, but doing a very poor job at concealing your cleavage, and your hair was soaked. The mirror that you had taken the picture in was fogged and he could see streams of steam swirling in the air around your head. So you liked really hot showers, fuck, that was attractive to him. You smiled shyly into the camera with one of your hands clutching a towel in your hands.

You: “I just got out of the shower, how funny is that?”

God, you were adorable without even trying. He wondered if the placement of your robe was intentional or if you were just that sexy without trying to be. It could go either way, you were as effortlessly cunning as you were absurdly oblivious to your affect on others.

He quickly went through his shower routine quickly, not taking his time to enjoy the water and relax like he usually did. He didn’t want to keep you waiting again. He decided to toe the line of flirtation and idle conversation once more by sending you another photo. This time following your lead with a mirror pic. He was still shirtless and brushing his teeth with an overly wide and sud-filled smile. His shorts hung low on his hips and his entire frame was centered in the photo this time.

D: “What’s up?”

It was a lame line, but he wanted to keep the conversation going and see if you were going to invite him over. He spit out his toothpaste and gargled mouthwash, accidentally swallowing some as you replied back. Coughing at the strong taste burning his throat, his eyes widened as he memorized every pixel of the photo you sent, catching on to his little provocation.

The mirror in your bathroom was still slightly fogged but he could clearly see that all you were wearing was a t-shirt. It was big enough to cover your thighs, so Dalton didn’t know what you were wearing under it and he could see your nipples poking through the material ever so slightly. He dragged his lip into his mouth and bit down hard, hand clenching on the edge of the counter. He gathered his shower stuff and walked back to his room, keeping his towel gathered in a ball in front of his crotch in case he ran into anyone this late.

It didn’t occur to him to read the message you sent until he was about to send one himself. He was so distracted by your selfie that he completely forgot that he was in the middle of a conversation with you. He wondered if it was weird to be more turned on by you in your pajamas than you soaking wet and in a towel.

You: “Nothing much? What are you doing right now?”

He sat down on his art stool, and angled the camera at the mirror that sat in the corner between his spare bed and the wall. He hadn’t gotten the motivation to actually put it up so it laid on its side and only showed from his waist down at this angle. The picture showed his bare stomach, shorts and legs, with one of his feet braced up on the leg of his seat.

D: “Chilling in my room now, you?”

You responded a minute later in much the same fashion. This photo didn’t show your face either, but he could see your hair and the junction between your neck and shoulder at the top of the photo. You were stretched out on your bed, your legs propped up in front of you and you holding the weight of your upper body on your other arm as you snapped a photo of yourself. From the way your shirt rode up on your thighs, you weren’t wearing any shorts, but he couldn’t see your underwear.

You: “Same. My roommate left to her parents’ house so I have the place to myself.”

Was this your way of implying that you wanted him to come over? How does he respond to that information without sounding weird or letting on that he’d already known? Should he tell you that he already knew? He decided that now was the perfect time to reorganize his desk and actually put up the mirror in his room. It took fifteen minutes for him to respond and the guilt ate at him now that he knew how you reacted when he didn’t message back quickly.

D: “Oh, really? Yeah, I kinda always have my place to myself, haha :)Look what I finally did.”

The added “haha” looked so stupid that he wanted to jump out his window. He hoped the selfie he sent to you would make up for it. He was standing in front of his mirror, acting as if he was only trying to show you the mirror you’d been bugging him about putting up. He was still shirtless and a light sheen of sweat made his body glow slightly from the exertion of his impromptu redecorating. He angled his phone to show a grin, but the rest of his face was covered.

You took a few minutes to respond yourself and Dalton thought he understood your anxiety about having to wait for messages. He felt the anxiety was all the more potent now that you were sending each other photos of yourselves. But he couldn’t deny that he liked the tension, the anticipation ate him up and he was beyond keyed up.

You: “I got bored being here by myself so I’m doing my makeup :p”

You: “Oml, finally!”

You were kneeling in front of the camera with your legs slightly spread. The lighting in your room made it hard for him to see what your underwear looked like and he felt like a pervert for being disappointed. Probably not as bad as he would’ve felt before he knew that you reciprocated his feelings. Your hair was put up into an updo so it was out of your face and it reminded him of that Pamela Anderson hairdo that you complained about not being able to do. You looked beautiful, your makeup was darker than you normally had it, more like dark seduction than pretty fairy. Dalton wondered if that was on purpose.

He sent you a closeup selfie of half of his face, his eyes mostly angled down at the phone screen instead of the actual camera and a slight smirk on his lips. His neck, collarbones and one of his shoulders were on display for you as well

D: “Guess I got bored too. Your hair looks like Pamela Anderson’s, btw”

D: “I like your makeup, it looks good!”

You responded quickly and without a photo.

You: “Are you joking me?! The one time I’m not bending over backwards trying to do it right…”

Dalton had to take a minute to recover from the mental image of you bending over backwards, particularly the image of how your breasts would look at that angle when your next message came in with another photo.

You: “Come over?”

This time, your phone was placed close to the floor and angled up for Dalton to see your knees pulled up to your chest and you dramatically and exaggeratedly pouted at the camera, your dark red lips shining in the camera flash. The flash also, probably unintentionally, highlighted the junction between your legs and he could actually see your panties this time. White lace. Son of a bitch!

Instead of responding, he jumped around his room and tried to gather all of his shit to take to your place and was pulling up his jacket when he noticed some papers on his bed. His homework that he had told Chris about earlier and completely forgot about. It was due at midnight and his teacher was a hardass about homework.

“Fuck!” His curse echoed loudly in his empty and otherwise silent room and he slammed his things down on the bed in anger.

As desperate as he was to go to your room and potentially spend the night inside you, he was stuck inside his dorm unless he wanted his grade to tank. With a heavy heart and tense motions, he sat in his chair, a different one from his stool, and faced his mirror. He spread his legs so that he was man-spreading and propped a leg up on the edge of his bed. He held up his homework in one hand above his head and made a faux-angry face at the camera, his expression not even making at dent when it came to showing just how angry he actually was. He gave himself a minute of fantasizing about your lips kissing marks all over his body before snapping the picture and sending it to you.

D: “I was on my way when I remembered I had homework. Fucking sucks! Raincheck? I’ll bring you breakfast in the morning?”

He ordinarily didn’t curse over text, or in general. He wasn’t a prude about swearing, but he just didn’t feel the need to do it. However, he also needed you to understand that he wasn’t blowing you off, and then he genuinely was upset about not being able to spend the night with you. He felt it was probably too risky sending you a picture where he was very obviously at half-mast and worried that he was being too forward and would make you uncomfortable.

Two minutes of complete agony imagining all of the ways that you would dismiss him and tell him to forget about it, or get angry and misinterpret what he was telling you. Now that the conversation couldn’t go anywhere, the anticipation wasn’t alluring and fun, it felt like acid burning his skin.

You: “Oh, please do your homework! Grades are important. Breakfast sounds good! Goodnight x”

A kiss, you messaged him a kiss. And you were completely fine with it. For the first time in his life, Dalton felt the urge to do a chest bump with a bro. He was on top of the world right now. He was tempted to rush his homework and run over to you as soon as possible, but as soon as he sat down to do it, he knew that the assignment required all of his time and attention. Fortunately, the assignment itself was relatively simple, but it was incredibly time consuming, which is why he’d been putting it off.

Two hours later, he took some pictures of his completed homework and sent them to his professor’s email. It was fifteen minutes til midnight and he wondered if he should risk going over to you now. You weren’t expecting him, though, and for all he knew, you were asleep or something. He debated texting you that he was done and seeing if you’d extend the invitation to come over again, but you hadn’t even brought up his last picture and that made him a bit insecure. What if you were trying to just ignore it as a way to say you weren’t interested? Even back in your room, when your roommate was encouraging you to take advantage of having your dorm to yourself, you had only denied all of her sexual innuendos. He knew you liked him back, but maybe sending you a picture of like the one he sent was too much too fast?

Oh yeah, astral projector. He could always just pop in and check without actually having to check. It was fine the first time, right? No big deal anymore. He wasn’t hurting anyone.

He relaxed on his bed and before long, he was picking up that lantern once more and leaving his body behind, making sure that all of his lights were on to protect his body before he left the room.

You had been in your room with your door mostly closed when he came in again. You really should make sure your front door was locked, he thought. He heard little whimpers coming from your room and was immediately concerned, automatically assuming that you were crying. Your bedroom door was swaying on account of the industrial fan that you insisted was the only thing strong enough to keep you cool at night. He had no problem opening your door and putting it back in place, making it look completely natural in case you noticed.

From what he could see, you were looking at your phone and were mostly covered by your blanket. Only one of your hands was holding your phone, which Dalton found odd because you normally preferred using both hands. Finally seeing your face, Dalton noticed that you had no tears on your cheeks or in your eyes. You weren’t crying. What the hell were you looking at on your phone?

Him. You were looking at a picture of Dalton that he’d sent to you. More accurately, you were looking at the second photo he had sent you, the one where he was brushing his teeth. It took Dalton several moments to begin thinking again to put the dots together.

Oh. Oh.

Just as Dalton registered what you were actually doing, you threw your blanket aside in frustration and essentially showed him that he was correct. He watched in rapt fascination as you rubbed your clothed center over your panties with two fingers. You kept focused on your phone, swiping over to the photo of him after he hung up his mirror, as your index fingers slipped beneath your lacy white underwear and into your slick heat. Your breathing was loud and shallow, the occasional moan slipping through as you touched yourself.

Dalton should not be here. He knew that. He knew what was and what wasn’t appropriate, his mom made sure he knew how to respect women, so he knew what he was doing was the furthest thing from okay. He also knew that he would have to be dragged by his teeth to get him out of your room. His cock swelled and twitched from under his shorts as he stood over, watching you masturbate to a picture of him. In the low lighting of your mostly dark room, he could see the shine of your wetness on your fingers and over your folds. He wanted to drag his tongue over your labia and savor every drop you gave him. It was all for him, after all, he was entitled to it.

You groaned in annoyance through your teeth and yanked your panties down your legs. Dalton’s severely dilated gaze zeroed in on them and he made a mental note to grab them before he left when your shirt joined it in the floor. You were completely nude and sitting up on your bed, in a very similar position to the photo where you had shown him your makeup. He’d never look at it again without thinking of this. He wished he had a picture of this.

You looked like a goddess or some kind of celestial siren as you arched your back and groped at one of your breasts and toyed with your clit. The chill of your room and the sudden banishment of your blanket had your flesh covered in goosebumps and your nipples hard. Dalton wanted nothing more than to cover your body with his and discover new forms of pleasure using his tongue, hands and cock. You were everything, you surrounded him and took up so much everything. And yet, he wasn’t actually with you, no matter how much he wished he could be. He didn’t know why he couldn’t try, you were his now. You admitted to it. Maybe not to him directly, and maybe you didn’t know he was there, but it didn’t make it any less true.

Dalton approached your bed and was about to rest his weight on it when you grabbed a decorative throw pillow from the mountain of pillows you had on your bed. You shoved it between your legs and adjusted it so that the woven seams pressed between your folds. You rested your weight on it and rolled your hips experimentally to find a rhythm and angle that felt best. Soon, you were panting and gasping, and Dalton could barely hear you over the stupid fan.

As you rode the pillow, Dalton lost his restraint. He either had to take care of himself now and fully condemn himself as an actual peeping tom and a pervert, or take care of you and risk you freaking out and losing you before he could actually have you. He’d rather hate himself for a little while than you hate him forever. He reached into his shorts, cupping his erection and squeezing lightly. He bit his lips and tried to keep quiet. He didn’t think he would last long, and he didn’t really care to either. He’d worry about that once he was actually inside you.

Dalton started off with slow and trading strokes before working up to the rhythm you set for yourself. You were grinding down on the pillow with slow and long thrusts, lowering your body slightly so that the seam of the pillow rubbed your clit. Dalton imagined his face replacing the pillow and started speeding up the movements of his hand, spitting on himself to help his hand move more fluidly along his shaft. Coincidentally, you started to quicken as well, humping the pillow desperately instead of steadily rolling your hips.

“Dalton! Oh…fuck! Daltonnn…” you cried out softly into the seemingly empty room. As the waves of your orgasm crashed over you, you lost strength in your arms and fell to the mattress, your hips still moving rhythmically as you came. Your limbs felt electrocuted and twitchy, and you could do nothing but gasp and whimper as you came down from your high. Rolling over, you reached down and caressed your soaked folds, moaning softly as your fingers became coated in the stringy remnants of your wetness.

Dalton nearly fell to his knees in his desire to suck your fingers into his mouth and devour your cunt. Luckily, he managed to stay upright and went rigid as he came in his hands, making sure the pearly white spurts of semen didn’t make a mess anywhere in your room, if they could. He wasn’t actually entirely sure how it all worked when he was in this state, but he wasn’t going to risk it.

He waited until you fell asleep to grab your panties and leave your dorm, falling back into his own body and finding it a mess. His shorts were soaked at the crotch with his cum because his actual hands couldn’t stop his real orgasm from staining his clothes. He tore off his shorts and decided to sleep naked, hiding your panties in his pillow case.

*~*~*

You woke up refreshed and well-rested the next morning, still not used to the stillness and quiet in the absence of your roommate, Carla. Usually, she was up by now blaring metal music while she got ready for the day and you would make the two of you breakfast. You went to do just that when you heard a knock at your door and remembered that Dalton was supposed to come over with breakfast.

You told him to wait through a text message and grabbed a pair of athletic shorts, yanking them on as you made your way to let him in. Much to your surprise, the door was unlocked, though you don’t remember leaving it that way. In all fairness, you also don’t remember the last time you had locked it, so it was fair game.

Dalton greeted you with a large smile, showing off his extended canines, and a bag from your favorite pastry shop. It was hard not to blush after what you did when you saw the pictures he sent you, but the food was also distracting. You excitedly took the bag from him and started rifling through it as he guided the both of you to your room. Had he ever been inside your dorm before? How did he know which room was yours?

Before you could ask him, he plopped himself onto your bed and settled onto his stomach. He then used a pillow to prop up his chin. The same pillow you had used last night.

There was something about the way he was smiling at you. The way he was watching you.

“So, did you sleep well last night?”

********

Lemme know if you want a part two or maybe a “What if Dalton hadn’t had any homework?” situation.

This was super fun and sorry if it’s too long

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 5/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009

2010 – Jake

                He’s a fully commissioned officer, a naval aviator, junior grade lieutenant. He’s got his wings and he knows he’s good. He can control himself physically and he considers a plane a simple extension of that. He loves flying like nothing else. His first deployment has him practicing night landing and takeoffs, something he can’t say he’s a fan of, but he also manages better than most of his counterparts and it leaves him feeling smug. He’s getting better at flying and he’s already itching to get an invitation to

                He hadn’t been convinced about switching to a different messaging app, especially one that required him to buy a new phone. However he has no regrets. The amount of messages he and Nick send back and forth increases, it’s much quicker and convenient. And while he ignores the messages he gets from strangers he definitely enjoys looking at the pictures. He jerks off more than usual but then the novelty wears off.

                Nick does not wear off.

                If anything Nick seems to get better. He’s definitely using the app to its full purpose, whenever he’s somewhere there are plenty of guys also using it; Nick shares stories with him, tells him about the guys he sleeps with and Jake lets himself live vicariously through him. If Jake felt more confident he’d be doing the same. Wants to do the same but is also terrified. Admires Nick for seeming not to care about being caught. Wonders if he’s developing a voyeurism kink. Except everything he sees is solely in his imagination.

>>Would you send me a picture of your dick?

>>You want a picture of my dick?

>>Yeah. I’m kind of attached to it, and I haven’t even seen it.

                He doesn’t say that he’s also attached to Nick. Doesn’t want to come off as needy even if that’s exactly how he feels. He’s seen pictures of Nick’s stomach and thighs, his chest. He’s seen a hard dick being palmed through the fabric of his briefs, but god yeah, he wants to see the real thing. It’s not immediate and he wonders what Nick is doing, has already said that he’s by himself and not going to be interrupted. Then the picture comes through and he knows Nick is over six foot, maybe has big hands, and he’s holding his dick in his hand and it’s dark dusky pink at the head, his fingers are curled around the shaft loosely and god he wishes they could video chat or something, it looks average, if he assumes Nick’s hands are normal sized.

>>How big are your hands?

>>You trying to figure out how big I am?

>>Maybe.

>>I’m plenty big enough. Never had any complaints.

>>Thinking about your hands on me too.

>>They look like nice hands.

>>I used to play baseball. Big mitts.

>>Yeah? Long fingers too looks like.

>>Yeah, I play the piano. Long fingers come in handy.

>>Bet they come in handy for lots of things.

>>You’re not wrong.

                Jake bites his lip, looks at the picture again, imagines wrapping his mouth around the head and licking and sucking, making Nick come with nothing but his hands and mouth.

>>Thanks for the picture. It’s a very pretty dick. Now I can imagine sucking it.

>>Fuck.

>>If we ever meet I hope I’m able to do everything properly. Like I can in my head.

>>When we meet.

                Jake rolls his eyes.

>>And I don’t care about it being perfect. Sex generally never is.

>>We’ll have fun and get each other off.

>>More than once.

>>Definitely more than once.

>>We won’t leave bed for days. Maybe lock ourselves away from the world when we’re both on leave.

                Jake lets himself dream.

…            …            …

>>Do you ever hook up with other guys?

>>In the service I mean?

>>I mean. I have once or twice. Got to be so careful.

>>There’s this subtle careful look that gets exchanged. I’ve given it and had it ignored, and either the guy isn’t up for it, or just missed it completely. Other times…

>>Other times?

>>It’s been hit and miss. Sometimes the guy is angry and can take it out on you. Other times it’s just sex. Other times they can think it’s the start of something.

>>Take it out on you? What do you mean?

>>Oh. Just.

>>Rough. Angry with the whole thing. Think they’re angry at themselves. That whole not wanting to want another man that way.

>>And you let them?

>>Sometimes. I’ve walked away when I’ve been seriously worried.

>>But I like it a little rough sometimes.

>>Reminds me I’m with a man and I don’t have to hold back my own strength.

                Jake bites his lip and shifts a little, already starting to get a little hard, and they aren’t even talking about having sex with each other, just talking about sex in general and he can’t believe it’s getting him hard.

>>You getting hard?

>>Yeah.

>>You know me too well.

>>Of course I do.

>>I wonder how hard I can get you.

                Jake knows exactly how hard, he goes back and reads some of their conversations sometimes and they get him hard every single time.

>>I wonder if I told you not to jerk off, and talked to you like this, whether you could come from it.

                Jake knows that that won’t happen, he always needs a little friction. But…

>>I’m willing to give it a try.

>>Yeah?

>>Want me to tell you when it’s okay to touch yourself? When you can come?

>>You like the sound of that?

>>Yeah. Little bit.

…            …            …

                He refuses to think about what he has with Nick as a relationship. At least not a romantic one. He is definitely his best friend though, right up their with Javy, although Javy hasn't ever made him come. Some months are quieter than others, and he gets it now. Nick is deployed. Hell. Considering both their schedules it’s a miracle they’ve managed so much communication already. He desperately wants to ask him which service he’s in, but unlike his name, Nick hasn’t offered to share that. However, knowing that they’re both military opens a different type of floodgate and Jake finds himself talking about his team, squad, group, platoon. He changes up what he calls them. If Nick asks he’ll tell him, because then he’ll feel better about asking himself.

                The question doesn’t come though.

…            …            …

>>Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.

>>Other than the fact I’m gay you mean?

>>Ha ha. Yeah. Other than that.

>>I miss my parents.

                Jake’s fingers hover over his phone, not sure what to say. He knows Nick’s parents are dead, and Nick knows his own parents kicked him out… God they’ve both got issues there don’t they. Still, missing them doesn’t feel like something he’d be ashamed to admit.

>>My dad died when I was three. My mom died of cancer fifteen years ago.

>>Oh shit. I’m sorry.

>>I was raised by my godfather after that, but I’m not talking to him either.

>>I miss him too sometimes.

>>I had this whole other family and I just turned my back on them and some days I wonder if it was worth it.

                Jake wants to ask, wants to know, because he aches for his family some days, knows he can’t go back. His parents made it abundantly clear that he was no longer welcome, and he wonders if they’d even care if he died.

>>What made you turn your back?

>>You don’t have to tell me, just, I’m here, if you want to tell me.

>>I applied to one of the academies. He pulled my papers. Told me I wasn’t ready. So I went and enlisted anyway.

>>Oh shit.

>>Yeah.

>>So. I’m still angry about it, but I also miss them. Him. Families fuck you up.

>>Yeah. They do.

…            …            …

                It takes a near miss and he lands on the carrier inwardly shaking, although he doesn’t let it show outwardly. But he’s just realized that if something happens to him Nick will never know. He doesn’t want to put him through that. He carefully writes down some instructions and what he wants to say, then he changes the lock code on his phone to Javy’s year of birth, he can’t forget that and it’ll remind him everyday of why he needs to be careful. But also the best. He finds Javy and walks him through it, show him where he hides the app and where he’s going to keep the envelope. Usually they’d joke about something like this, but after the day they’ve had neither of them are feeling in a jokey mood and Jake has no one else to ask.

>>I told my best friend about you. If something happens to me he’ll let you know.

>>How?

>>Gave him a sealed envelope with instructions. Told him I was trusting him, and that if he wanted to keep his sanity he wouldn’t risk opening it. You know what he said?

>>What?

>>That he’d already seen plenty of dick on the locker room and wasn’t going to go looking for any more.

>>But also that he’d do it. So. Yeah.

>>You don’t have to worry about me dropping off the face of the earth and forever wondering what happened to me.

>>He’ll let you know.

>>Wow. Okay. That’s really thoughtful of you.

>>Thanks I guess.

>>Shit. I hadn’t even thought of it.

>>I’ll do the same. It’s not like what I’m doing is any safer than what you’re doing.

>>Yeah. I think not knowing would be the worst part.

>>I wanted to ask you, if you could do that for me.

>>So thanks for offering already.

>>You sure you don’t want my name? That would suck to find it out after I’ve died.

>>Don’t think calling you anything different will make you dying easier on me.

>>So try not to die okay?

>>I’ll do my best.

2011 - Bradley

[moonlight-tmd]

Thinking about Warframe!Bumblebee again.

I feel like Ratchet would know Bee was a victim of reformatting.

Reformatting itself was a dangerous if not morally illegal practice, anyone who went under such procedure was bound to have some sort of issues. Same was with Brasshorn-now-Bumblebee.

When he was put in the repair crew, Ratchet instantly noticed the specific mannerism Bee had- Whenever there was physical work Bee was always the first to be tired, even if it was a minor task, he often clawed as his chassis when he thought no one was looking, just as if he was in pain. The real issues only surfaced when they had to go into a risky zone to repair a stray spacebrige gate. They've ran into some non-friendly creatures and Bee barely managed to get out alive.

He had several injuries, he ended up in medbay and passed out halfway thru a scan. Ratchet had to do an emergency surgery on him and only then realized what has happened to Bee.

Bee's Spark and casing was way too big for his small frame, almost 3 times the size his frame was designed to hold. He had several issues with energy and energon flow and the wiring looked horrendous, not professional at all. Ratchet had seen similar things and quickly connected the dots. He fixed him up to the best of his capabilities and made sure there were no issues with his Spark.

After the surgery when Bee woke up Ratchet asked him about it but Bee didn't say anything other than what his previous frame type was. He was put on leave to recover, Ratchet didn't tell his status to anyone, and if someone asked he masked it as private information of the patient.

Another thing is with Bulkhead- I think he and Bee are close enough for Bee to tell him certain things about his past life.

When Bee and Bulk were in boot camp they became friends, at some point they were talking about their pasts and Bee has leaked few of the aspects of his warframe life. This got Bulk interested but he saw how uncertain Bee was about it so he didn't push. With time he learned more about his friend; that he used to be a warframe, that he was great with engineering, that he had a beautiful house on a planet named Sirras and had a Conjunx he loved dearly.

I think Bulkhead would be the only bot to know that Blitzwing and Bee are Conjunxes. Like, he obviously noticed something was up with Bee the moment the Decepticons showed up. After the first few days of Bee acting like everything was normal he got worried and asked him to speak privately. And surely enough, Bee trusted him enough to tell him that he found his Conjunx. So Bulkhead doesn't target Blitzwing in battles, if he does he makes sure to miss the big 'con with his strikes. Blitzwing was told to do the same, he never directly targets any of the repair crew.

I think at one point Bee makes a little meet up for the 2. They both pick a date and sneak out together to meet. I imagine it'd kind of awkward at first but Blitz and Bulk quickly get used to each other; both of them like art so that's a nice topic for them to chat about. Bulkhead wasn't keen on becoming an Autobot either, it was only an odd requirement for the job. He doesn't have any bad emotions towards Blitzwing. The fact he and Bee were conjuxed way before Bee met Bulkhead was enough to make him trust the Triple Changer, he treated his little buddy right.

[gravity-what]

GASP! Could it really be? The lost season 4 of Xiaolin Showdown is finally being released to the public! OH I am SEATED 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Kicking off the season with another 🤝👫team-building exercise👥🧑‍🤝‍🧑 from Master Fung, how classic! A lot of those in the show itself, so the opening slots right into the roster! Feels so real!

The different is that this time it's a team-building exercise that's meant to emphasize the team that's no longer composed of equals, since one of them is apparently their better and their superior now... Shaking up the team dynamic after all that talk about them working together as one by promoting one to manage the others, I can see why it's already going to Raimundo's head and he's trying to pull rank. He was sort of doing that already in season 3 before it was even official, so now that it's official, that 🤴"as your leader"🤴 talk is so so him, LOL... Mixing pulling rank in with one of the kids' usual bouts and adding Kimiko's hair-trigger temper into the mix too! 😡 And Master Fung comes in just in time to break up the fight and use it to segue into today's lesson! I can only imagine how many rewatches you've have of the series because that whole set up in the opening plays out exactly like it does in the episodes itself! That's so cool!

And I didn't expect a cameo from Megan again after all this time! 👧🎀 She's still the cutest! And the age-typical brattiness makes her even cuter! And Jack is cute looking after her! The Spicer cousins are being so cuuuute! 🎀🍥 And Megan even gets a part in the showdown a little like Dojo does sometimes! The powers that be gave Megan a better role than they usually give Dojo though.

I never even imagined that mochi-making could be a showdown challenge! 🔨🐇 Kimiko had some ANGER put behind those blows! Cute having her bring in something from her culture for the playing field today too! That's how you stack the odds! And it finally gave Kimiko a chance to show her expertise and show a situation where she gets to take charge and has the knowledge they need. Even in season 3's own Kimiko episode, they made her sit out the solution solving so Raimundo could have an A-HA! moment and tell her how to fix her mistake for her and that was so frustrating. This feels like it really fixed that!

Raimundo learned his lesson, Kimiko has been vindicated, Jack has been defeated, lunch has been caught and cooked, Megan had her fun time, all's well that end's well-- OH NO OMI?!

🥺😢 Poor Omi, I totally forgot he doesn't even eat meat! And so did the other monks! 😭😭😭😭😭 OMIII! At least Dojo is looking out for him. Best dragon right there, true MVP of the episode 🐉🔥🐉🔥

‘Championship Strikes’ feels like it's supposed to be a reference to something.... But I don't know a lot about video game franchises. (I don't even know what Goo Zombies is supposed to be a parody of in the show even though I'm sure it's probably something) 🎮🕹️👾 Can I ask what Championship Strikes is riffing off of? What kind of game is it? Is it sport stuff?

Those are super cute outfits for Kimiko and Megan in the title card! Their braids and hats and ribbons are super duper cute! Megan looks like a little adventurer and Kimiko is rocking that sporty look! Boys in the back all being kinda huffy or sad, meanwhile right up front are my GIRLIES! 👗👢👒🎀👚👟

If this episode was on a streaming service I could rate it 5/5 stars like it deserves, so here you go: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I’m so honored by this review 😭! I did my best to emulate an actual episode when I wrote this so I’m really glad that I succeeded!!

Honestly it was so much fun to bring Megan back! It felt like a good low-stakes episode to bring her back~ it was also fun to let her judge the showdown! Poor Jack though, he didn’t manage to win even with his cousin deciding the outcome.

The motchi making showdown came from me getting able to participate in a motchi making class allll the way back in February and going ‘this would make a really fun showdown!’ And it just fit so perfectly into this episode~ letting Kimiko show off while at the same time getting a chance to terrify Raimundo and teach him a lesson really was so much fun to write!

And Omi….oh Omi. He isn’t doing too hot after everything that happened in the other universe and in the hypothetical future he saw with Jack and now his needs are being forgotten too…At least he has Dojo looking out for him. Always.

And the ‘ championship strikes’ game is just meant to be a reference to a soccer game like the FIFA games! So you were definitely right that it was a sports game!

Thank you again for the fun review! And I’m glad you liked the first ‘episode’!

[kingdomoftyto]

Hi, happy spooky month, I have a ✨manga rec✨!! And in the spirit of the season, it's a horror story! >:3c

I want to spoil as little as possible because I went into this manga essentially COMPLETELY blind and, honestly, imho, I imagine it's the ideal way to experience the story. I literally first heard about it from a random youtube comment on a video about an entirely different manga--one which, mind you, had VERY different themes, which colored my preconceptions and added to the surprises for me later on!

ANYWAY, what I mean by all that is I'm going to start with the simplest possible summary of the premise, and if that's intriguing enough for you to give it a shot, then I recommend diving right in!! But, if you still need more of an in-depth, slightly spoilery rec? Then I'll gush a bit more under a cut to see if I can hook your attention.

With all that out of the way,

The Summer Hikaru Died is a horror/supernatural story about a high school boy named Yoshiki whose best friend (Hikaru) went missing in the mountains outside of town. What comes back is... something else. It looks, acts, and talks like Hikaru, but it's not him, and Yoshiki is the only one who seems to notice.

The only other thing I knew going in was that the commenter made a brief mention of the "Hikaru"-thing protecting Yoshiki, which seemed odd but intriguing alongside the rest of the premise.

So if that's enough for you (plus the fact that I'm telling you I haven't stopped thinking about this story since I read it two weeks ago), then please check it out! There are only 5 volumes so far!! Suffer through the wait for the rest with meeeeee ಥωಥ

More spoilery extended rec below the cut:

📣THESE MOTHERFUCKERS GAY*!!!📣

📣GOOD📣FOR📣THEM!!!📣

I know what you're thinking, and YES, it appears to be BL between the TIMID HIGH SCHOOL BOY and the ELDRITCH HORROR WEARING THE SKIN OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

And it's SO GOOD.

No SERIOUSLY, for real though, I had NO inkling going into this that it was even in the realm of possibility that it would involve romance

Let alone a nuanced, slow burn, VERY QUEER romance layered with ruminations on grief and identity and one's relationship to society

(ON THIS NOTE, I must advise up front that I DO NOT KNOW if this story will end in tragedy... It's still ongoing, after all! BUT, I think either way it will be an amazing story and... maybe I'm just delusional, and though this may be considered spoilery in itself, the most recent chapters have me optimistic that we might indeed be on track for some sort of happy ending... eventually.)

Anyway, I cannot express enough how incredible it was to uncover this aspect of the story organically without knowing about it beforehand. Born and raised in a rural village, Yoshiki is deep in the closet, and that's reflected in how subtle the hints are at the beginning. Over time, it starts to become clearer and clearer, but always with a layer of plausible deniability, at least if you're not expecting it to take such a queer turn. ("Hikaru" literally makes a ton of "no homo" style jokes early on, which... god don't get me started--)

As you might guess, Yoshiki had feelings for the real Hikaru before his disappearance, and ooh boy does that affect how much the grief and guilt and fear play into things. It's delightfully fucked up.

So yeah. I 100% expected the plot of this manga to revolve around the intrigue of the monster finding out Yoshiki knew its secret, the fear of not knowing when the monster would strike next, etc, but NO! That particular "reveal" happens within the first 10 pages, and then the entity just kind of... lives the life of a high school kid! He's kind of a little shit, but for the most part, he's a nice boy! Yoshiki is the only one who knows who "Hikaru" really is, but much of the tension comes from him having to come to terms with that, rather than the fear itself.

...and also the OTHER horrors and mysteries. There's tension there too, considering it's where the actual plot lies, lmAO. Just because "Hikaru" isn't a totally evil monster doesn't mean there aren't a lot of grotesque and scary things in here. Most of this manga I would classify more in the "supernatural" genre than "horror", but in those moments it DOES delve into horror, it goes pretty damn hard. I remember more than one moment where I felt sharp regret about reading it in the dark at 2 a.m. 💀

Still, if you dare, it's worth the read. I can't recommend it enough.

P.S. I wouldn't say it's a "funny" manga but it does nonetheless have an amazing sense of humor. There are a handful of actual jokes and gags that did have me rolling, but more importantly there's an unspoken, implicit acknowledgement of how absurd this all is, in that way only good self-aware horror can achieve. Take the main character Yoshiki for example. The image I used of him up above? The unsettling camera angle, the haunted look in his eyes? That's just how he always looks. The panel after that one shows that all he's looking at on his phone is a text from his sister reminding him to pick up wasabi flakes.

P.P.S. There's apparently an anime adaptation coming out sometime? I'll probably watch it, but I expect something will be lost in translation. We'll see, I suppose.

*- To be precise: Yoshiki is gay. The creature that takes Hikaru's place has a more nuanced (and alien) perspective on sexuality, and... I'll leave it at that.

[kroosluvr]

i'm genuinely curious I WANT YOU to outline how the shu/ake/sumi romance/and-or/situationship would unfurl in a post-p5r reality (where akechi lives, of course). what are the bullet points for what would happen between them. would they have a falling out. are they doomed. would they be horrible at communicating. would they finally be good at it. which pairing comes together first, if any at all. or would all 3 pairings happen at the same time at the same pace. or are they all in a limbo, not romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing.

OMG HI. HIIIII ok so. i havent actually thought about it that much (SURPRISING I KNOW) because i honestly suck ass at timelines (in regards to canon. tennis au on the other hand...) BUT I WILL DO MY BEST a lot of this is loose too.... im totally up for most anything but this is how i see it most of hte time heheeh (TY FOR THE ASK I LOVE THINKIJGN ABT THESE 3.)

this is .. kinda.. long.. ahem

pre-p5r: sumire is acquainted with goro thru her dad's show: they're not friends, but she's talked with him more than her sister. so when goro meets 'kasumi' at the cafe something strikes him as odd but it doesn't quite register: like ehhhh well why should i care / maybe my memory is just wrong / not worth my time

during p5r: 'kasumi' has a crush on akira, a kind of on-the-surface adoration of "wow i think you're really cool and we get along well!" nothing that's super advanced on or anything, and akira doesn't see her as anything beyond friends anyway.

she drops the crush upon reverting back to sumire, and it builds slowly over the course of 3rd sem but is also never really actualized - like she likes him ok whatever but then what..??

3rd sem (long winter au): long winter barebones: maruki's idealized world starts like on christmas or smth (havent thought this out TOO much LOL) and royaltrio-centric part of 3rd sem lasts for quite a while, at least 3 weeks-1 month. how does this work w the timeline i have no idea. BUT it leads to tense moments like spending new years together with the idealized thieves and trying to stay upbeat during all that, all the attempts and failures at breaking them out of it, and a LOT of tension during this time.

they argue and fight and are irritated with each other a lot of the time (goro the most vocal abt it obviously, sumire kind of drawing back into herself, and akira doing his best to stay optimistic. i think when akira starts to lose his spark is when the others r like oh we gotta make up for that slack and they finally up their game a bit) and yeah even sumire argues with akira and with goro and etc. im figuring this out PROMSIE ill come up w stuff and draw comic/write fic for it...

also 1/9 sumire fight is probably the beginning moment when goro starts to respect sumire more/see her more as a friend/comrade than a teammate. bc she almost kills joker and then him LMAO really giving them a run for their money... and also he really sees the pain she feels at being herself and resonates with it, either unconsciously or consciously

also upon seeing her Past broadcasted on maruki live television:tm: he makes the connection and is like oh so that's what happened. so all this time she was just masquerading as someone else. hmmm

anyway they're all very fragile and scared and sad during 3rd sem so they stick to eachother closely bc they're all they got to lean on. i think they have a lot of skinship during this time? handholding hugs leaning on each other sleeping in the same room (they hang out at leblanc A LOT bc 1) they're kind of afraid of being alone during this time 2) they're afraid of the OTHERS being alone during this time 3) leblanc is "untouched", compared to other parts of maruki's reality. can u imagine if even goro's apartment suddenly became nice overnight LMAO) but its like no feelings attached, just pure comfort kinda thing

kissing could also happen during this time but also no feelings attached, purely Why the hell not etc sort of vibe.

also goro and sumire get on first name basis during this time. this comic i drew w goro dying in my head which is Why he initiates first-name basis, but we can operate off the idea that he thought he'd die but somehow magically didnt. YAY!

but they have impeccable communication w each other and are very honest with their feelings. (goro avoids talking about his past tho. so maybe not THAT honest.) but they all achieve a really strong understanding of each other to survive maruki's winter wonderland...

i do think they develop feelings for each other during this time but they're all confused whether it's feelings of like comfort/security with each other or like romance/yay. so like nightmare situationship basically. so they all individually decide to hold on to this happiness while it lasts bc they sure as hell know it won't last (when have any of them been able to keep good things)

3rd sem: the thieves join yay! i think they'd notice that the 3 of them have become very close-knit (bouncing off eachother insanely well in battle, talk to eachother casually, and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. weird but ok! at least they (akira goro.) aren't trying to kill each other all the time.

this is also nice for sumire bc she had those 3-4 weeks to kinda Figure herself (sumire) out btwn akira and goro so she's less like down in the dumps about not being 'kasumi' anymore and more secure in herself and stuff like that. yay!

they beat maruki and stuff. YAY!

post-p5r: akira moves back to his hometown for 3rd year of highschool and college, goro is who-knows-where (i imagine he gets back on his feet of his own making and then goes abroad for school somehow. idk just seems like smth he'd do esp since i think he'd avoid everyone during this time) and sumire stays at shujin for 2-3rd year, then probably goes to a uni in japan but goes abroad for 1-2 yrs (gymnastics and etc.)

the "goro doesn't die and reunites with akira/sumi" timeline

goro, walking into leblanc on 2/4 or whatever: hi guys i didn't die actually

sumire: haha why would u silly? lol

akira: WHAT THE FUCK

the end.

i think they do go to separate universities though and theyre like damn wait i miss those guys but they go thru school and keep pretty decent contact w each other and see each other during vacations and stuff when they can and then when they come back to tokyo it's like no time has passed btwn them and they just pick up where 3rd sem left off but like better and happier and more peaceful. YAY!

i haven't really thought of how they "CONFESS" or whatever but i think all of them just feel (TWINGE OF JEALOUSY) at the idea of any of them dating someone else so theyre like ok well thats that i guess. we're a thing now (they refuse to use any other terms like that i think. For a while at least. until maybe one of the thieves etc gets engaged/married and then theyre like ok we can grow up about this. but basically they're just A Thing and Offlimits:tm: and etc.)

COMMUNICATION IS GOOD HERE!!!! i think for sh/uakes/umi i prefer them becoming a Thing at once rather than 1 couple happening first (esp since i like the idea of "none of them rlly understand romance and stuff so they just say 'fuck it' and become Thing" like thats kinda funny asf to me.)

i also feel like to anyone else they just seem like a group of besties until u see exchanged kisses or hugs or interlocked arms/hands and ur like wait....? hm. well idk. (bc they don't either. no one has any idea)

the "goro doesn't die and avoids them" timeline

also in my head sumire doesn't endeavor for the olympics/world stage/international fame and just kinda sticks around national rankings while she still figures herself out (in this timeline. also probably true for the other one but shrug IT CLD GO EITHER WAY I THINK)

somewhat relevant is my shsm fic where i elaborate on sumire's emotions more during this time (especially while thinking goro's dead). <- actually this is pretty recommended cele sumire reading bc this basically totally encapsulates how i see her. the first oneshot is 6k words tho ITS A MOUTHFUL.. SORRY

she and akira drift farrrr apart. she feels extremely guilty and also bitter and frustrated about goro's death and the fact that akira didn't tell her (or goro, in fact.) and he feels guilty and sad about it too, that he should have done something? anything? for him or for her, and he couldn't figure it out and now its over. so now the two of them r grappling w this and trying to overcome it and forget each other even tho the memories during 3rd sem, although painful and haunting, still were sweet and nice and they don't want to forget but they HAVE TO MOVE ON... RIGHT....

meanwhile goro's probably thinking like "damn i miss those guys." but they also think he's dead so hes also like "this is stupid i have to move on(?) Or whatever." ok imma be honest i didnt really think THAT much into goro's thinking during this time (YET.) bc i think he'd be floundering a LOT with everything during his life and being kinda just miserable.

also during this time they try to date other people and it all is miserable and falls apart and also they havent forgotten about the other two so theyre like fuck.

akira - 25~, sumire - 24~, goro - 26~, eventually goro moves back to tokyo and kinda just goes about his life hoping he'll see them again. or maybe find out what they were up to and finally get some closure. wow he does! they kinda all go back to tokyo at the same time wow shocker soulmate things IM JOKINGGGG but they all kinda hold that sentimentality of ok so much time has passed maybe i'll feel better about this place now. and then when they run into each other again its like no time has passed at all. HAPPY ENDING YAY!

communication is less good in this timeline now they're healing from the "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" stuff. so thats a whole nother can of worms. probably ironically in this universe they try to actualyl figure out how this whole romance thing works so they can label each other as partners and be like OK DONT RUN OFF AGAIN. ANY OF U!!! DO NOT!!!!

ok this shit is so long im so sorry. HI. SDGSHKJFHJKDSHG THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM BAWLING i really havent thought much of post-3rd sem stuff as u can tell........... but i WILL ipromise.

edit: LAST ADDENDUM im very passionate abt shsm being nightmare situationship. guys who never got together but got divorced 50 times. sh/uake fits into this category as well i think. i can also kinda see ak/esumi like that but ironically i feel like they'd have the most stable situationship out of the 3 individual ships..... idk.. need to let it all cook in my head a bit more BUT VERY PASSIONATE ABT THE SHSM THING.

[catofadifferentcolor]

The Silmarillion

And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.

I first read The Hobbit in sixth grade. It had long been one of my mother's favorites, and the fact she delayed so long in giving it to me to read was almost certainly so I could appreciate it fully the first time I read it.

I very clearly remember reading The Lord of the Rings the year after, but can't quite put my finger on when I first read The Silmarillion. It must have been early in HS, perhaps even in eighth grade, but I have no clear memory of the event. Which is odd because in many ways I like The Silmarillion best of all Tolkien's works.

Do I have to keep family trees handy to keep track of all the names? Yes. But does it speak to the deep-seated need in me to read and create fiction that feels as real - or more real - than life? Yes. A million times yes.

The Ainulindalë is a piece of world-building so beautiful and perfect that I'm not entirely sure I can conceive anymore a world being created in myth or fiction that isn't sung into existence. I'm horrible with lyrics and instruments, but would spend every hour of every day surrounded by music if I could and I feel the Music of the Ainur in a way I can't fully describe.

Even if I have very strong feelings about how, if everything has it's "utmost source" in Eru Ilúvatar and all has been imagined and perceived by him, then even Melkor's rebellion is part of his design. Therefore evil is part of the godhead as much as good, and that morality is impossible in paradise, and that doing good is meaningless unless the possibility to do evil is present.

I also get strong echos of gnosticism from the Ainulindalë that I doubt Tolkien intended, staunch catholic that he was, but *shrug*.

The Valaquenta is also fascinating, if primarily for how Tolkien chose to divide, assign, and pair the powers. (Though I ask: how can gods have sex and/or gender before the ability to take physical form exists? If Elves are closer to the Valar than any other, does this mean their concept of sex and/or gender always reflects the body that they are born with? Or their body changes to reflect their spirit? Or that I'm reading too much into things?)

The Quenta Silmarillion is, of course, a masterpiece. Entirely too many names for one person to keep straight and almost impossible to understand without a map and an elvish dictionary at hand - and yet a masterpiece. There's much to be said about the sheer amount of work and thought that went into every page, but then I don't get to scream about how extra it is Fëanor burst into flame rather than die of his injuries, or how maybe he whole point of Morgoth isn't evil can speak fair words and still be evil or evil can be defeated but without Morgoth to strive against, the works of the elves and Valar are meaningless, or wonder if it's possible for elves to suffer from inbreeding, because the family trees of the important elves are so interwoven as to make me concerned.

Also, am I the only one who finds Melian and Thingol's love story disturbing? Especially as the whole man stumbles across a woman in the woods and falls in love with her instantly is the archetype for true love in LotR. Setting aside the fact that he was a king who should have had more care for his duties, there's something bizarre about love arising from two people standing and staring at each other silently for years beyond measure. That's not love to me. You can't have love without knowing something about a person - and that involves talking and time.

That said, I did not go into this reread expecting to come out shipping Fingon and Maedhros, but here I am. (Call it any kind of love you wish, but Fingon deciding to strike out and save his cousin on his own the moment he learns what happened to him is love. Foolhardy, perhaps, but love. Better than the we stare at each other without ever saying a word, forsaking all duties, and rarely listen to each other when we are married trope that all of the canon ships seem to fall into.)

The story of Beren and Luthien is entirely too extra, as always. I love it. Finrod's rap battle with Sauron before dying in the dungeons of the castle he built is epic. Luthien in general is epic as well, though I wonder if all of Middle Earth might not have been better served if, instead of stealing a Simaril, Beren had bothered to stab Morgoth while he was sleeping instead. (I'm torn between being glad the pair found each other and found happiness, and thinking they went about things incredibly selfishly. As much as I love the idea of sacrificing everything for love, the reality is people have duties and responsibilities and abandoning those is rarely noble.)

Fingolfin's duel with Morgoth is just as epic. It's brave and foolish and exactly the sort of thing I'd expect someone in his situation to do, even if tactically it probably is the worst thing he could do.

And don't even get me started on Fingon's death. Maedhros tried so hard to unify the people against their common foe, but there was too much hate between them and ultimately he was betrayed... and a part of me can't help but wonder if his father just hadn't burned the ships, there would have been enough trust between them to win the day. The Oath really kept coming back to bite them, but it seems like even when they tried to fight against it they failed. So that they achieved as much good as they did despite it is really quite something. (Maedhros' death and Maglor's choice to wander the coast forever hit me right in the feels.)

I've also strong feelings about Turin - mainly the dude wasn't doomed by the narrative, he doomed himself and the narrative only stepped up when he ran out of things to destroy on his own - and Maeglin - in that I got a Tom Riddle vibe from him, and can't help but wonder if his cousin hadn't been suspicious of him from day one if things wouldn't have ended better for all of Gondolin. And Haleth for the 3 pages she shows up is A+; no notes, keep doing what you do.

The whole story of Numenor was brilliant. The whole story of Ar-Pharazôn is so very human that it burns, because Sauron really didn't have to reach hard to twist things his way. Is leading a war against the gods insanely arrogant? Perhaps, but it's so very understandable. And the way all the rest of the Second and Third age is tacked on to the end, with the evens of LotR covered briefly in 2.5 pages? Such a power move.

...frankly the influences of Tolkien's experience in WWI drips from the pages. A helpless, hopeless - maybe even pointless - war. Death - valiant and brave, desperate and gasping - is everywhere, even the best people inadvertently fall to evil in grief or greed, and hope is rarely futile, though often a long time in bearing fruit.

All in all: I love the book, even if keeping The Atlas of Middle-Earth and some printed family trees on hand is a must. I'm still not sure I believe the Simarils were worth all the trouble, but there is something to be said about fighting against an impossible evil. Perhaps it was foolhardy, but at least they fought. The Valar didn't even bother to do that until their backs were against the wall. It's inspirational and depressing and perfect in a way that so many things which try to hit the largest possible target audience rarely are.

Is it a perfect book? No. I've serious questions about some of the grand romances being grand or romantic. And I could probably write an essay on how uncomfortable I am with white and light and beauty being tied to goodness while "evil" races are dark and ugly - and often evil for no reason other than Morgoth got to them first. And yet it is a brilliant book, entirely worthy of standing beside or even replacing some RL mythologies, and I will definitely reread in the future. 5 out of 5 stars.

[practically-an-x-man]

I saw you reblog the post "send an OC and you tell me which of your OCs would fall in love with them" and had a moment of oh no, how many non-furry/dragon characters do I have. So I'm throwing you a variety!! We're gonna have to put aside the fact that two out of the three here are furry characters. I'm genuinely severely lacking in human people, despite how much I talk about them. (Is this a game show where only the winner out of all of them gets a date, or are they all getting paired off? Up to you!)

CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE

I gotta throw you a character I haven't mentioned before much. Silver Bullet Babe, or just Silver for short, spends a large majority of his time studying magic. Coming from a well off family who encouraged his focus on his studies and seclusion from others, his social skills are lacking at best. On the plus side, though, being with him comes with the added bonus of a very extensive library filled with otherwise forbidden knowledge. He's also very pink with lovely hair.

(I'll never get over how beautiful this commission is, and I'm devastated that I've lost access to the artist since)

CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO

You already know this one. His info post isn't up yet, so his exact details might be blurry, but let me introduce you to the danger to aviation laws himself, Hazard! I don't. I don't have his picture on my laptop, so you're gonna just have to imagine a tall Canadian with the most mid fohawk ever who talks with an accent that is an affront to the concept of language itself. He's a great guy, I promise. Asides from how much danger he puts himself in for his own entertainment, he's a great guy.

CONTESTANT NUMBER THREE

*Shuffles through my characters* fuck okay who else is in here. hm. I feel I've gotta give you another one I haven't talked about before. I'm digging up Doe for this one.

Do you need a girl in your life that doesn't take shit from nobody anymore? Would it be even better if it were impossible to tell if she even liked you or not? Then let me present to you, Doe! I know for a fact she has an anthro design around somewhere, but evidently not here. I don't even have her regular design on this laptop, so we gotta just imagine an orange skywing woman together. What does she have to offer? She's fearless with the strength to back that up. She's punched both Sandwing and Skywing soldiers on two separate occasions. Her boss is, unfortunately for her, also her best friend, so they're a two for one deal, so you'll also be gaining a really weird uncle as well.

Oooooh, introductions to new OCs!! I love this!!

Let's see here...

For Silver, I could see him getting together with Kestrel. They're also super inquisitive and work with magic frequently, so I could definitely see them bonding over that initially. And like... Kestrel's social skills aren't fantastic either, being a changeling who's been told effectively their whole life that the only thing they're good at is causing havoc and distress, so I think those early interactions might be a little awkward. But after that, y'know, it all would work out great!

I think Quinn would probably fall for Hazard in like.... a weird way. Like the "buddy you're just really fucking Odd. I kinda want to punch you in the face but I also kinda want to kiss you and we'll figure out the logistics of that later" kind of way. She's absolutely a daredevil too and would initially be drawn to that thrillseeking side of him, always trying to one-up him until it becomes a weird sort of game, and then that game becomes a weird sort of flirting... they'd be the weirdest, most hazardous (pun not intended) power couple on the planet, but that's my answer.

Doe definitely strikes me as Eris' type - someone who can fire right back to whatever little battles they want to throw at her, who isn't going to flinch, who's good and strong and driven to keep pace. You've heard of people getting along like a house on fire? These two would get along like nuclear fission. This might be The Most Dangerous relationship I have ever come up with, maybe not to the two of them but definitely to everyone else in the immediate vicinity.

[circadianwolf]

Shadow of the Erdtree thoughts

[Originally posted on Cohost 25/8/24. Edited for formatting because tumblr apparently refuses to allow nested lists in any fashion.]

I finally finished SOTE yesterday. Putting these thoughts in a post for linkage elsewhere. Spoilers obviously.

First:

I think base game Elden Ring is beautiful, and I think the DLC is as well. I really enjoyed how the DLC immediately pushes into new palettes and biomes that weren't seen in the base game - from the starting prairie area (how rare to say "I like their use of brown" but it really does work for me) to some of the much more outlandish later areas. I feel like the day-night transitions also have a lot more color shifts in the sky that look really great.

Second:

I found the DLC narratively disappointing. I liked the NPCs (and was fortunate enough to not break any of them outside of some minor stuff with Thiollier and Moore) and I liked the concept of the hornsent and their relationship with Marika, but the actual Miquella plot is a real letdown to me.

These games (Demon Souls/Dark Souls/Bloodborne/base Elden Ring) are obviously associated with ambiguity (though I think sometimes that is overblown, e.g. in the first Dark Souls), but after finishing this DLC, looking up stuff I missed, and reading some other people's comments, I genuinely do not know what Miquella needs from the Land of Shadow, what the connection is between Messmer's position in the Land of Shadow and Miquella's goals, or what the player's role in the Land of Shadow is. This is literally the central plot of the DLC, and I feel like I should not be in the dark about it. It kind of seems like Miquella just needs to walk through a hole in some rocks (a hole we are prevented from walking through not by some message about being unfit for godhood, but by a 5 foot rise of rock), which seems very silly.

I hated the suggestion some people made from the base game that Miquella charmed Mohg into kidnapping him, and I hate that it is directly brought up here. I would like to read this as denial on Ansbach's part, but I feel like the game leans pretty strongly toward this being true. (It also doesn't really make sense to me within the world of the fiction, because if Miquella can charm Mohg, why can't he just charm Radahn in the first place? If Miquella can charm demigods, why is there even any civil war among them at all? Can't Miquella just win automatically?)

I don't mind many of the things left confusing or ambiguous in the base game being unaddressed here (I would still very much like anything at all pointing me toward a specific interpretation of what Radagon actually is, but I understand that isn't directly relevant to this DLC), but the almost total lack of reference to the Albinaurics is pretty disappointing to me. So much of the story of Miquella in the base game centers on the Albinaurics' faith in him, and the absence of any elaboration one way or the other on that seems very odd.

Radahn's reappearance, while not entirely out of the blue, does strike me as strange and unsatisfying. I didn't expect to fight Miquella directly, so that's not my issue here; but Radahn feels like a rerun, not just of himself and Mohg but also of Dark Souls 3's Twin Princes. Part of this is certainly bound up with my opinions on the final boss as a gameplay experience (see below), but I also think, trying to set the actual fight aside, there's nothing interesting done with bringing Radahn back. I saw someone postulating an alternative final boss with Miquella resurrecting Godwyn's spirit in Mohg's body instead, and while obviously my imagination has less constraints than game development, I found that idea immediately more compelling in its storytelling potential than Radahn.

Third:

On the whole, I enjoyed the big setpiece fights of this DLC, with one extremely glaring (and unsurprising, given the reception I've now been reading) exception.

Bosses I liked:

Rellana is a fun reprise of some visuals I've really enjoyed before - I am one of those people who loves Artorias, Pontiff Sulyvahn, and Dancer of the Boreal Valley.

The Divine Beasts are incredible fights to look at. I feel like they would be a nightmare to actually parse as fights in melee, but fortunately I wasn't trying to do that.

Bayle is a great new dragon fight (although the other dragon fights, like those in the base game outside of Fortissax and Placidusax, feel too repetitive).

The Scadutree Avatar is a great new giant monster fight.

Leda & co. is the only good version of this kind of fight From has ever done. I really like Dryleaf Dane.

Bosses that didn't make much of an impression on my positively or negatively:

Messmer, Romina, Metyr, Putrescent Knight. I do appreciate Romina for finally giving us a version of Scarlet Aeonia that is regularly usable though - I used it for basically all the bosses afterward, including many of the final base game bosses as I finished my replay.

The boss I thought absolutely sucked:

Radahn.

On top of being narratively uninteresting, as I mentioned above, the fight feels like a remix of stuff we've seen before that doesn't evoke anything new from their combination. The only really unique part of the boss fight, I think, is Miquella's grab, which is a neat gimmick but not enough to overcome how much of a slog the fight is.

I think the most infuriating thing to me is that it feels straight up worse to bring in the story NPCs for the fight - your reward for having completed their quest lines and brought them to this climatic fight is that the fight gets much longer and harder (because they don't contribute damage to match the boss's increased EHP). It's a bizarre choice to me when in this very DLC there are multiple bosses that let you summon NPCs into them without affecting the boss, because the game wants you to use them! But here it feels like you are punished for doing so. (I must admit I also made this harder on myself because my replay character was a gimmick build centered on applying buffs and debuffs, using spirit ashes and NPC summons to do much of the damage.)

The boss is also one of those, common in these later games and especially their DLCs, that does extremely long combos of attacks with few and small opportunities to counter attack, which I find to be an uninteresting challenge.

Overall:

I enjoyed most of my time with this DLC, because I like playing Elden Ring. I had had a desire to replay Elden Ring repeatedly since I first completed it and largely held off, because the base game is so damn big and I could not justify it to myself over doing many other things with my time. I said I would allow myself to do so when the DLC came out, and I did that (starting a few weeks before the actual DLC release, so I would be ready to go in when it dropped).

The base game is still largely good, and as I said, I really enjoyed exploring the new regions of the DLC just to see the beautiful, weird landscapes and the freaks that they were populated with. But having completed it, I feel very mixed about it; without a satisfying narrative to tie it all together - or even just an unsatisfying but compellingly confusing collection of narrative pieces to chew on and ponder, which is how I mostly feel about the base game - Shadow of the Erdtree ultimately feels like less than the sum of its parts.

ETA: Shoutouts to Jolan and Anna, who carried my spirit-focused build in the endgame when my Greatshield Lads were finally no longer able to do the job.

[sailforvalinor]

OC Mundane Tag Game

Tagged again by @accidental-spice--thanks for the tag!

Rules: Pick an OC you'd like to talk about and answer the questions for them! Then tag ten people, or as many as you can. 'Underdeveloped character I adopted' is fine, too! Absolutely no pressure to play, though

Also, if some of it can't apply to your OCs, just answer what would be the answer-- like if they're in a historical setting, they likely can't watch movies, but what is a movie they'd like?

(Also, most people have many ocs, so feel free to retag people and answer as many times as you get tagged! Or get really wild and just answer for as many ocs as you'd like! :D)

Since I talked about Ace last time, it's only fair that I talk about Joker :D

1. What is their favorite movie?

I feel like Joker's taste in movies is pretty eclectic (especially as she has all of time and space to draw on!), but the first thing that came to mind was White Christmas (the dance numbers!) and Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief (she idolizes Grace Kelly). I do associate her quite a bit with that classic Hollywood era, but I find I haven't actually watched a ton of them? If anyone has suggestions, I will gladly take them.

2. What is their favorite season?

Most definitely spring--beauty, rebirth, gorgeous flowers, etc etc. Actually, Ace's favorite being winter and hers being spring is pretty fitting, now that I think about it.

3. What do they find annoying?

People with a lack of imagination, when people don't appreciate things she's enthusiastic about, when she can't find the perfect outfit, bad hair days.

4. How would they like to spend their Christmas or equivalent holiday?

She really would love anything as long as she's not celebrating alone--she has done some pretty spectacular things on her hundreds of Christmases past (sneaking into one of Queen Victoria's Christmas parties, going ice skating on a planet of ice palaces, visiting the Christmas Theme Park that Australia built on the moon in 3489 that only lasted a year (turns out it was because of her, actually), but she mostly does these sorts of things to distract herself from how lonely she is, as Christmas is a pretty family-oriented holiday and that's when she feels it most acutely. Needless to say, her Christmases become much lovelier with Ace around.

5. Do they play an instrument? If so, what? How good are they at it?

I imagine she's probably collected almost every instrument imaginable, and can at least make most of them make sound, but she only really plays acoustic guitar (specifically really finger-plucky stuff) and probably a bit of piano. She also sings, and unlike Ace, has no qualms about doing so whenever the mood strikes. And sometimes it strikes at odd times.

6. What's their favorite meal to eat?

Ooh, this one is hard. I feel like she would be one to be constantly excited about trying different kinds of food--but as for a favorite of hers, the first thing that comes to mind is tiramisu for some reason. There is also always a hot pot of tea in her TARDIS without exception.

7. Do they have a favorite video game or board game?

Joker does strike me as a video game girl--I can see her being a Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts fan (and unlike all of us, she actually has the time on her hands to play every Final Fantasy game, lol). As for board games, I think she would probably like Life, as well as some of those newer fantasy games with a ton of worldbuilding like Scythe. Of course, she probably never played them much up until she met Ace, as playing board games against an AI avatar gets boring very fast. She's also so bad at chess that the first time she played with Ace, he was dead convinced that she had let him win.

8. Do they celebrate their birthday?

Poor Joker is an amnesiac--she has no memory of who she is or where she came from, and only knows the simple fact that she is a Time Lord, and her first memory was floating in the vacuum of space-time as a child in her TARDIS. (I'm not even sure that she knows about the Time War. It's difficult to believe that she wouldn't have heard about it after so much time, so she probably knows...?) Thus she has no idea when her birthday is, so she just picked a random day and celebrated it in much the same fashion as she does Christmas. After she meets Ace, she usually convinces him to take her out dancing (which, to his credit, doesn't usually take too much persuading).

9. What's their bedtime routine?

Do Time Lords sleep? I've been getting conflicting answers about this. I'm gonna go with "sometimes," and in those cases, pretty nightdress, cup of tea, usually plays music.

10. What's an OC (or canon character) they like to spend time around? What do they tend to do together?

Ace is the first person she has ever truly connected with beyond the surface-level, despite their very disparate personalities. I don't want to give too much away too early, but what I will say is that initially, Joker views Ace a little bit like a project, and he views her as a character stepped straight out of a fairy story who is too otherworldly to be real and must have some secret agenda for bringing him with her, and thus distrusts her, but they slowly but surely overcome this rockiness. She sees something in Ace that he refuses to see in himself—but I really can’t say more without spoiling things. Joker is very verbally affectionate, often referring to Ace as “my Ace” or “darling.” He makes a very noble effort to hide how flustered he is by this.

As for what they do together, they of course have their time-traveling adventures (and sometimes run into the Doctor and his companions). I'd say they're a bit more like tourists than the Doctor and Rose are, they tend to go to different times and places with the intent of exploring and sightseeing and their adventures are rarely, if ever, premeditated. Also, as I mentioned earlier, they love to go out dancing--the Doctor and Rose are half-convinced that they're just on a dance tour of the universe, as 50% of the time they run into them, they're checking out the local social dancing scene.

Also, I mentioned this in my post about Ace, but Joker loves introducing him to movies, tv shows, music, and other kinds of media that he missed out on in his time. In return, Ace reads aloud to her a lot--it sort of began out of his frustration that she constantly leaves half-read books around and forgets to finish them, but then it just kind of became a habit.

Tagging @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord @rainintheevening @novelmonger @mythicalartisttm and anyone else who has oc's they'd like to talk about!

[agentnico]

The Vourdalak (2024) review

Bet A24 are kicking their shins for missing this one.

Plot: Lost in a hostile forest, the Marquis d'Urfé, a noble emissary of the King of France, finds refuge in the home of a strange family.

In my childhood my dad would always read to me various stories at bedtime, and the one that really stuck out was the little novella “The Family of the Vourdalak” by Aleksey Tolstoy (that’s the other Tolstoy, not the madman who spent however long writing the over thousand pages of War & Peace), and the reason this one really left an impression on my little brain was how it held this immersive element of dread and terror that didn’t let go until the end. For this is a vampire tale, yet interestingly enough this was actually written near half a century prior to Bram Stoker publishing his famous Dracula novel. So this is very much an early folkloric interpretation of what vampires were, that came from myths and tales spun around villages, so look, all I’m saying is these old school villagers had a wild imagination and Tolstoy utilised that well. Anyway, if you’ve never read the original 1839 novella, do yourself a favour and seek it out, as it’s truly spectacular.

With that in mind when I heard there was a new French movie adaptation being released of Tolstoy’s story I knew I had to seek it out as I always thought that material had so much cinematic potential. Truly I was expecting some gruesome dark visually striking in-yer-face shocker of the level of Hereditary or Evil Dead Rise, because honestly I could totally see that working. But to my surprise director Adrien Beau has gone a completely different direction.

The Vourdalak is a film that does not belong in the 21st century. Seeing this in 2024 is really odd, and I mean that in the best way. Reminiscent of a time gone by, The Vourdalak was shot on film, truly embracing the vintage look with real grain and harsh shadows, envoking the feel of a period piece from the 70s/80s. As such I can see many viewers be put off by this thinking the movie looks cheap or dull, but I truly think this stylistic choice was a nice change of pace for a modern day horror, and a nice way to get by its low-budget. The setting of the sparsely populated European forest also allows for the threat to feel more effective due to how confinding and inescapable the situation is.

In terms of negatives I didn’t give two craps about any of the characters. The main French aristocrat we follow who refers to himself as the emissary of the King of France is a pompous face-covered-in-white-make-up narcissistic dandelion who can only think about the next woman who’s pants he can get into. The family in the forest he comes across are all varied introverts who have their eccentricities, but none of them were likeable as such. You know who was great though? The main vampire!

So the titular Vourdalak (a vampire-like being with Slavic origins that prefers to feast on blood of relatives rather than strangers)…… he’s a puppet. No joke, this is a 2024 horror movie where the vampire is portrayed by a puppet. It’s actually done really well too, with the life-sized marionette moving in uncanny strange ways, eyes bulging out, rictus grinning and with a disembodied voice, it all comes to a pretty immersive effect. It makes for a good reminder how solid and effective practical effect instead of CGI can be. But also the vampire itself, though creepy, was actually kind of a stand up fella? Like yes he wanted to suck everyone’s blood and kill and so on, but when he spoke he was always super polite, had a nice level of sass to him too. Honestly I’d hang out with the guy. I’d grab a pint with him for sure.

Overall the movie is an interesting nostalgic view of horror from a bygone era, with old school visuals and a fantastic vampire puppet performance, and though I would say there were times the film did drag a bit, as a whole this was a delightful peace of Gothic fairytale. This may just be the bite in the neck the genre needed.

Overall score: 6/10