#that i am protecting u all from!
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shat out a lil fanpiece for my own damn fic pareidolia bc. u know how it be.
#ok listen i have such a load of untapped black raven angst#that i am protecting u all from!#professor layton#the black ravens#pl black ravens#pl crow
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.
#narus' corner#SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY#AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE#ion think u understand#maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly#YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT#THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK.#u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it#because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I#LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa#IMMA AAAH#eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE#when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan#because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?!#and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing#ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR#OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?!#and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on#imma just.#imma shut up LMFAO
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im so curious what u mean by the vriskafication of jegbert? /genq
ive been watching the hs fandom from afar since the epilogues were dropped.
this is a rlly good question- i have a lot of thoughts and feelings abt june and how the fandom has taken to her her and is now portraying her in popular fanon. im so sorry this has gotten so long. im also sorry if i say smth you or anyone reading this disagrees with, but in my experience this is kind of inevitable when it comes to the topic of june egbert, trans characters who havent come out in canon yet, and trans headcanons as a whole. this shits personal to all of us and we all have different perspectives on transness, and oftentimes how we view transness in fiction is very much coloured by our own gendered experience.
it boils down to: can we please fucking let trans girls live. we are so fuckin weird about transfem folks and trans girls/women, even in fiction. sometimes especially in fiction, actually. especially on this gd website. if i have to see one more person defending june (and tgirl roxy) as a concept, and through that, defending real life transfems existences by talking about girldick or being a sweet docile sugary femme babygirlie kittycat, i will turn everyone into a fucking goldfish and flush you all one by one down my toilet. this, again, also extends to how a lot of the fandom handles trans headcanons in general, regardless of gender. all of what im about to say is from watching the homestuck fandom and fanon grow and change over 10+ years, basically since the beginning on this site specifically
some disclaimers for my trans resume i guess: i am intersex. i am plural. we as a system identify systemwide as transfemasuline or transneutral in an attempt to both honor and not speak over each other in terms of gender expression and individuality, while also trying to condense our existence for singlets to understand better, faster. we dont have time to explain all our shit all the time lol. we have transfems and transmascs in our system and everyone getting a fair, even chance at their preferred presentation is how we roll. we have lived a transfemasculine life. you cant put us in a single blue or pink corner, it wont work we are immune to that bullshit.
the vriskafication of june egbert is basically me trying to short-hand describe the way that ive seen some fans portray june post-transition by turning her into a mean girl[tm] type of person. there's also the roxyfication of june egbert, where other people make her a ditzy bimbo who can do no wrong because 'shes a girl now' and thats apparently how ppl still think girls should behave?? jegbert's canon personality traits need not apply anymore, apparently, bc that was icky boy behaviour. ghostbusters who? she likes shopping now. fanon june is sometimes eerily similar or exactly like vriska (fanon, woobified vriska, mind you, bc we still cant get a grasp on vriska as a fandom either) while also dressing very high femme and only high femme. because she has to perform someone elses femininity (spoiler: our own concept of what girls 'should look like' to be considered girls) instead of her dads masculinity now. shes either mean like vriska, or dumbed down like fanon roxy, who again has been watered down into a ditzy dumb girly girl who has done nothing wrong ever, bc shes 'just a girl', and bc people get Uncomfy when fictional tgirls do bad things. and oh boy has canon roxy done some bad things
as a counterpoint to my aesthetic based grievances, which are entirely personal- you can portray june egbert however you want. i personally invision her as very butch, but i could be totally wrong! im not even trying to make guesses here! this is my personal make-believe! she is not a real person and has never actually appeared as herself in canon. we dont know what junathan would/will be like during and post-transition. we dont know what an egg crack event will do to them. but some of the ways ive seen june portrayed feels........ off, personality wise. very off. and thats what i care about. it feels like malgendering in way too many cases, with the ditzy girliepop/catty girlbully thing. its straying too close to the tgirl brand of madonna/whore that tfems have to face in real life constantly. this is especially bad for tgirl roxy but i'll get to how fanon vs canon roxy is handled later
i use the word 'vriskafication' bc like vriska, june egbert (meaning tgirl jegbert, previously known as john in fandom and currently as john in canon, just to hammer it home that june and john are the same person, because some fans do seem to forget that john is living life believing shes a boy and a man right now and i dont think that should be erased) is still a pretty polarizing concept. fans either love her and disregard jegbert as ever having been john, or they disregard her as a concept in favour of how john is right now in canon. or theyre just straight up transmisogynistic about it bc they want their yaoi or their het ships. and BOY are some of the fandom not shy about that. which actually leads me into my next disclaimer:
im not including tboy/tmasc john headcanons in the above statement. i do not care about fighting over trans headcanons. i think that shit is just disrespectful and pointless and juvenial. you are fighting for nothing. june/john will not thank you for fighting for their trans rights bc they are not real and have no rights. june is not canon (yet) because she has not had that realization yet, and we dont know if/when she will. and genderbend aus have been a thing since the dawn of fandom anyway. more than one type of headcanon can exist at the same time. we are playing pretend. headcanons will never be proper representation. we are fans, not corporate entities or big directors or production teams churning out content for mass audiences. john has been considered a cis boy for FAR longer than june has been a popular concept, and you dont know how long someone has had or how close to someones heart their trans headcanon is, regardless of what flavour of trans headcanon it is. its rude. some of yall are so fucking mean for no reason other than 'you cant sit with us. on wednesdays we wear pink' rules. very intentional reference there
and i mean okay, roxy. big pink elephant in the room. no one respects or even acknowledges the fact that roxy in the Meat timeline is transmasc and currently only uses he/him, and when they do they're bullied fuckin relentlessly and ostracised from fandom spaces. ive seen entire hate campagns specifically for badmouthing transmasc roxy fans to try to get them to stop posting tmasc roxy stuff, or to see it as transmisogynistic violence akin to shooting a real trans girl live on tv. i have seen these comparisons be made on this site. ive seen others get actually violently transphobic about it back in 2019-2022, and even now. ive talked to fans who were mass dogpiled and harrassed off tumblr for liking meat!roxy's direction, or even just not publicly condemning him while having a neutral stance. i myself have been instablocked from servers and off of ppls blogs for thinking tmasc roxy is cool and a good plot point for his overall personal arc, especially in juxtaposition with roxy's pregnancy in candy, and how that affected her rship with her body and her gender. ive been called horrible things for even considering roxy to be anything but DMAB. that chapter in candy where we get a glimpse inside roxy's head about gender was beautifuly written with a lot of tact for trans people who can be or have been pregnant and enjoyed it, something that is INSANELY RARE. UNHEARD OF, EVEN, IN MEDIA. so this really isnt about trans rights or representation from my perspective. its just gendered bullying and a whole lotta white knighting from people who are majoratively not even fucking transfem.
the same notes of trans coding for roxy that fans deem only as transfem could be seen as coding for transmasculinity too. yes, including the XY thing. does anyone remember what foreshadowing is. and all of this even depends, hinges, on whether hussie intentionally wrote ANY of the human kids as trans initially or had it planned from the very beginning, which i really really really dont think she did!!! in 2009??? yeah fucking right!!!! the entire thing about roxy and jane pressuring dirk and jake into relationships is about cis girls feeling posessive of and entitled to queer boy's bodies and attention, because its something they cant have, and cis girls are seen as a group of people physically incapable of harm, which is misogyny that directly effects cis girls/womens victims. its a direct mirroring to cis boys doing the same to queer girls. and as much as i love all flavour of trans reads for the alpha kids in fandom, i dont think i wouldve appreciated it in canon. i wouldve hated it, actually. it waters down the message and makes everything far too messy and open to bad faith interpretation. we need more trans characters doing bad things in media, but the era the alpha kids section of HS1 was being published was NOT the time. an inarguably canon tgirl character preying on an inarguably queer tboy in 2011-2012? there would have been blood in the streets. i VASTLY prefer fanon interpretations when it comes to the alpha kids being trans. i trust fans way more, but i obviously still have reservations about that which is why im here writing all this
to further back this up- hussie has also openly discussed having her eyes opened to queer issues BY queer fans WHILE HS1 was still being updated!!! THATS why you can see a gradual influx of genuine queerness in homestuck as you read it!!! the vagueness of the trans coding we percieve in the text is why tboy john is still so popular!!! WAY more trans experiences, especially in childhood, are more similar than The Current Discourse bad actors will try to have you believe. please dont believe them, they're not right in the head and the ppl trying to convince you that someone has it The Absolute Worst are lying to you. we all have it bad, thats how oppressive systems work. its just in different patterns for indiviuduals. a middle class trans persons oppression can and often will look VASTLY different to a poor trans persons oppression bc different axis of oppression are at work. it depends on the type of person our oppressors label us as, they dgaf if anyone identifies as TME or TMA. thats a little beside the point but its absolutely contributed to how fans treat fictional trans characters, especially in the last few years
i hate hate hate the ideology in this fandom that one trans interpretation or headcanon is more valuable, or hits harder, or is more idk narratively transcendient or powerful than The Other, so The Other is deemed boring/bland/sauceless/whatever and deserves all the hate and takedowns and dismantling and nitpicking it gets. the fans of this Other Trans Headcanon deserve their hate and calls to kill themselves because theyre just Wrong About It. but thats not true. none of that is true. you just dont vibe with other flavours of fanmade trans narrative. and thats completely fine actually. its literally like preferring carrot cake to raspberry pie. it is on that level outside of transphobic biases, and i sincerely believe that a lot of fans start out on that level, but dip into transphobic biases because of the constant fucking weird moral panic about trans girls, and by extension, young trans people as a whole. which is not fine. whats also not fine is attacking fans of trans characters over said trans characters gender, canon or interpreted!!!
to tie this tf up bc i dont want this to go on for any longer than it has, im so so SO SO SO tired of fanon june and roxy being trans girls first and foremost over their actual characterization. and im even MORE tired of the word 'girl' being taken in fiction to mean dumb, sweet, (white)feminine, wouldnt hurt a fly, so so cuddlysoft, girlboss it up girlfriend, you cant sit with us, im such a cool bitch, im cooler than you dumb gross boy because im a girl, what personality i dont have one i dont need one because im a girl.
so much of fandom has forgotten that roxy is fucking mean and WILL ignore whatever doesnt fit her whims/wants and will plow through her closest friends and loved ones regardless of the situation at hand because of what she wants. she canonically admitted to harrassing dirk on the daily because she wanted him, because she was lonely and couldnt see past her own hurt to see that she was also hurting her friend. and oh my god, mom lalonde, worlds first abscent mother who swears up and down that she loves you really, rosie posie, its just that mommy's real hungover again and also very busy. that is BRILLIANT characterization for a female character, and its been forgotten behind the big pink bedazzled neon ITS A GIRL sign. and the same has been happening with june!!! and it sucks!!!! us transfems are just people we are JUST people. i dont want trans girl characters only point of characterization to be trans and girls!!!! i dont want talking heads and perfect cardboard cutouts in lipstick!!!! when june happens i want her to be exactly the same as when she was john because thats who i became enamoured with in HS1 and thats who i watched grow up in the epilogues and THATS who i want to see finally find their place in paradox space as herself. i want her personality intact, and i dont want to see her forget or turn her back on her childhood and teen and young adult years. i dont want june to be fanon vriskafied
#our t#asks#roxposting#this got long. thank u to anyone who reads all of this and doubly for those who dont immediately cast me into trans hell for it#i also want to say that this is not about anyone i know or talked to oh my god no. i trust yall w/ my life. sayin this cause i would wanna#hear it. this is the anxiety website :( nah this is about fandom as a mass entity#& how very personal trans headcanons from singlular fans have gone supernova & been conflated with trans rep for large audiences#verses how even the *concept* of a trans girl/woman can whip groups of people into a frenzy. esp if theyre canon or promised to be#whether that frenzy is to 'protect them' by drooling & panting all over them or to try to deny that theyre there#its like trying to say that my intersex!dirk hcs should be treated w/ the same gravity as navigating/portraying queerness in steven univers#it just dooooesnt make sense. i am one guygal playing with my dolls while rebecca sugar had an entire team to work together with#to try to pin down how much queerness they can get away with for bigotted cishet audiences while also laying down coding for#queer watchers from the very beginning. like cmon now#that shits complicated and can and often does get u fired. i mean w/ SU it did outright. im doin monkey typewriter shit
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just like naruto is sasuke's one and only, the reverse is also true. sasuke accepted naruto more than anyone else, he's the one that stands equally by naruto's side.
#usually I'm a sasuke defender but today I am feeling protective of naruto#even tho naruto built bonds with other ppl#there's this sense of distance#like he doesn't fully let them in#or let them see what he truly feels#from sakura to the rest of the villagers#idk how to explain this correctly but I hope u know what I mean#anw#it's only sasuke he truly let in#in all ways#sasunaru#narusasu#my stuff
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Lol angst ? about nukani , my super unserious gayporngacha game? Can't be that bad
(10k words later into a fic) Ooohh.ohhh it was a mistake. I should not have read this hahahahahahahgyrk *choking sounds*
#i typically stay in my lane (fluff) but when i exhaust the fics. we must venture into unexplored territory#but the unfortunate consequence of that is like introducing predators to an island ecosystem#I WAS NOT EVOLUTIONARILY PREPARED. I DON'T HAVE THE DEFENSE MECHANISM S#i AM prompTLY DESTROYED#OMG EVEN WHEN I'M READING ANOTHER FIC NOWADAYS#sometimes something will remind me of that eiden dies fic#and the images will flash thru my mind like Sad PTSD#and I'll just ☹️😭😥😭😟😭#i was cocky. thought angst Wouldnt affect me. what a fool i was. where did that complacency come from#i am changed. i will never forget. i will treasure u even more eiden#u are more valuable than u could ever comprehend my dear little bluetwinkmenace pls stay healthy#tears threatening to spill outta my eyeholes while i'm gathering all the clan members into my embrace#picks up another gay little haremboy and shoves it into my protective hold#nOOOOO you stay with the others safe and cuddled and everyone loves u and everyone is fine and#squeezes them all 🥺☁☁☁☁☁☁#i am reading words and acting in ways
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disappointed and surprised about taeil.
#my mom was the one to tell me can you guys believe it#“someone from your favorite group got kicked out for *** accusations”#WHAT#wayv? oh my gosh no what the#but she was actually talking about 127#i dont know all 94 members of nct but i know a lot of people always described taeil as a nice guy and very talented#im sad for taeil fans#i hope you guys find/have other musicians you love just as much as him#..do you guys.. feel a little sick ..?#like did the other members know about what he did?#and potentially try to protect him or even have a good laugh about it?#i am NOT trying to say that his bandmates/friends are definitely bad!!#im just saying.. what if.. what if theyre like taeil and we dont know that theyre unkind#i believe that he's guilty#i believe that everyone SHOULD believe that he's guilty#i believe we should always put survivors first#if that wasnt clear before#i know i wasnt talking about that first thing#also. i was thinking.. nct has one too many *** scandals. it's getting gross#yangyang fanfiction postponed until i have more time to think.#taeil#moon taeil#nct#nct 127#nct u#nct dream
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from 2010
the thing with george and fanfic is that i think hes a lil confused
#not hack ripoff publishing absgjdgwj#i genuinely dont see how his argument isnt nonsense here sorry#‘not as i understand the term’#which is????#like he wont sue anybody he just doesnt want u to send it to him atp#does he still argue that it doesnt fall under fair use???#like idc if he dislikes it but his argument here is rooted in ‘it’s infringement so i must act so i must protect my copyright’#‘if i am aware’#‘so there is no slippery slope with hack fraud publishing’#but it isn’t infringement bc it falls under fair use#so he can dislike it all he wants but that concern doesnt hold anymore#like he cant make that jump w nancy and paul to hack fraud publishing making bucks or whatever bc its two very different things#i just don’t understand this argument like u being aware of a fanfic and not suing doesnt mean ud have no ground to protect ur copyright#from for profit publishers
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guess what I finished watching
#genuinely I am bamboozled#I heard it was bad and I knew it was bad but I didnt realize the scene ITSELF was as horrible as that#its just. genuinely how fucking dare you for doing that#I understand the concept okay#the entire season and show has been foreshadowing eve's own death and I Get the concept of twisting that around#in the sense that her death comes from another's undoing and that her death comes from villanelle's protection#but the execution ????? even putting aside that the ending itself is shit and disingenuous for the characters. the EXECUTION OF IT#thats the part that has Genuinely stumped me#even the reveal at the very end with carolyn- at this point that means nothing#there's no leadup to it happening like I thought there would be it just Happens while theyre being happy and it's all over within 30 second#and then the show Ends#what the fuck#knowing it was coming didnt even help it just makes me more angry than sad#in the last two minutes???????????#goddamn#I am so fucking sorry to u all who watched this season as it aired#that is sick#after all the character development????#okay. I promise I'm done now. what the fuck. I went to bed immediately after watching and woke up ANGRY#sorry for the abundance of tags mygod#killing eve#killing eve spoilers#smokey speaks
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i think it’s inch resting how regulus’s fanon personality, “redemption” arc and overall his entire plot line is just… draco malfoy? like in canon regulus had a self made pinterest board of death eater propaganda in his bedroom and now he is dark haired draco malfoy. like. WHICH it’s fucking insane to me because u ask the average jegulus fan their opinion on drarry and. they hate it. it’s weird to them. but regulus black is just draco malfoy, i’m not saying people write james as harry however. i definitely think people tend to take harry’s entire being, question how he’d act if he hadn’t been abused and go yup that’s james! which. ok. if reg is already draco in a wig then why not!
#u can pin point the exact moment that fanon reg came about#bc it’s when all the drarry fans got pissed off by draco tok#and the babygirlification and the draco x yn shifting shit of the hp fandom#which is ironic as fuck bc. regulus black also gets the same babygirlification#except draco’s tended to go in the direction of… oh well he loves yn and he’s hot and tortured u just don’t get it?????#whereas reg’s… it’s giving nico from pjo he’s suddenly baby boy short big eyes uwu vibes he needs to be protected#meanwhile canon reg probs has a kill count lmao#idk it’s not a bad thing!!!!! i luv fanon reg and jegulus i just think it’s ironic that like. everyone hates drarry???#wdym u hate drarry u are reading knockoff drarry#i am so interested in this entire thing i could write an essay on it#maddie.txt#marauders#drarry
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(hanna really went all out.) when she loves somebody, she doesn't hold back. when you're hanna's friend, she forgives a lot.
pll + guts
#hannamarinedit#hanna marin#plledit#prettylittleliarsedit#pll#*#stop hurting her :(#hanna's capacity for forgiveness her capacity for goodness even when she knows it isn't deserved#how she saves jenna from the fire how she's so certain they have to help ali have to bring her back despite everything#'you were the best friend i ever had. that meant a lot to me. you meant a lot to me. but you were also the worst enemy i ever had#and i can't believe it took me this long to realize that. you can't reach into my life anymore not unless i let you. you're gone. and i am#so over missing you' FOREVER#all the people in hanna's life that have hurt her - ali her father mona lucas caleb jenna#and how she wrestles with this#and her willingness to forgive and have compassion for them#but how she also protects herself and draws lines when necessary (with varying degrees of effort)#i would die for her#strongest most emotionally intelligent self aware girl im love u#she loves so powerfully <3
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I keep thinking about the pigeon from yesterday and wondering if the vets at the wildlife rescue place were able to help it :(
#ramblings#i know my friend took a crow there and said they usually can't tell u how the animal is but i'm so tempted to call and ask#but i shouldnt bc they're busy and don't need me distracting them from their work#and it's ridiculous to care so much about a pigeon in a city full of pigeons but i saw the hawk trying to kill it and then saw the pigeon#just sit there and didnt realise how hurt it was until it was still sitting there 2 hrs later which is when i took it to the rescue place#i just hope it wasn't in too much pain:((#this is one of those moments where i realise i could never ever go back to eating meat#i asked the vet if there is anything i can do to protect the pigeons from the hawk and she said well it's nature the hawk has to eat sth#and i know she's right and thats how it works and it's all part of nature but it still made me rly sad#anywayssss will delete this later but i feel ridiculous telling ppl irl how upset i am about a random pigeon#so tag ramblings it is!!!
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if i read through my old notes or my old posts from like 3 years ago i’m like. who is that like that person is dead. who even am i anymore like i have lost all sense of self at this point
#honest to god too many pieces of me have died i don’t know who or what i am anymore.#like i can look back on it and be like oh i remember that but i can’t imagine being that person does that make sense#like my current living situation has taken too much from me i’ve had to just dissociate and be a shell of myself just to protect myself#and i think that even if i ever get out of here idk if i can get those parts of me back and that scares me so much like#i don’t want to be stuck like this forever even though i know j most likely will#like i’ve lost every last ounce of hope i ever had by living here i’ve lost everything i’m so jaded now there’s just#nothing anyone can say to me anymore like there’s no amount of inspirational or hopeful like idk messages or meditations or#whatever literally anything i see shit like that and i’m like hm that’s nice but not for me. like i’m just dead set on things never getting#better ever again and i truly believe they wont and i know it’s a protection method like i know i’m just saving myself from getting my#hopes up and crushed and up and down and it’s just happened too many times that i’ve truly in every sense given up#like i’m just resigned to it all bc there’s nothing i can do about anything anyway and i’m not trying to be like oh poor me#like there just truly is nothing i can do my entire life is a rock and a hard place and it just fucking sucks that’s it#i just feel like i’m drowning all the time and just constantly treading water but i can’t ever breathe if u know what i mean
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If there’s one thing that’s been misappropriated to hell and back and I hate how now it’s everywhere and it’s all wrong: egg cleanses.
I had to read someone just now say “bubbles are good spirits watching over you!” naw, that’s the eyes of ENEMIES on you, it’s all the jealousy and envy they sent you, it’s precisely why you had to cleanse. Yes, different people will read it slightly different, and depending on how many bubbles and how they’re disposed in the glass it’s different details, but that for sure ain’t friendly eyes.
It’s very simple thinking: the egg absorbs all the bad stuff you had on you, why would it absorb “the eyes of angels/good spirits watching over you”????? makes no sense. It only absorbs malefic things and it’s telling you what those malefic or problematic things were. That’s how you spot misappropriated shit: you now know better, if you see anything that doesn’t follow that logic? it’s been appropriated, taken out of context, without sense or logic, wrong, and potentially dangerous.
And for the love of god, stop reading it from above or posting pics from the top of the glass. IDC IF IT’S “AESTHETIC” IT’S WRONG. If you look at the glass with the egg from the top, you’ll absorb everything you’ve cleansed again and like my grandma said: a cleanse done wrong it’s worse than no cleanse at all. Whatever symptoms and problems you had are not only gonna come back but stronger and worse. Only ever read the egg on a tall glass looking from the side, through the glass, not looking at it directly from the top.
There’s lots of other details like this I could tell you but I won’t share publicly now because I don’t want appropriators to get something to fake legitimacy, like there’s more ways to prevent the nasty things from getting back onto you and different people will do it slightly different too but It’s so important that you know how to avoid re-absorbing something that you’ve cleansed off of you AND NONE OF THESE MFS WILL EVER TELL YOU THAT THAT’S EVEN A THING because appropriators don’t know. Because someone who didn’t grow up in this don’t know and could never know. Watch out for that, because there’s lots online.
#I am exhausted istg#I know there's things similar to egg cleanses on other cultures#but don't use that as an excuse#the kind of egg cleansing that's doing rounds everywhere is latine#it's been appropriated from brujería and curanderismo#and it's plain wrong#and I'm so tired of people taking it out of it's context and meaning#and claiming all sorts of shit#that don't make sense#and it's entirely made up by appropriators#.#brujería#Also#a cleansing or healing/cure done wrong#be it cleansing or cures like for#malojo empacho mal aire etc#seriously can f u up#y por eso es que siempre hay que ir a que te cure alguien que sabe#curanderismo#also it's hilarious to watch appropriators scream ''protect!! salt rings!! throw salt everywhere!!!'' and then turn around#and never protect before/after cleansing#like get your shit together im begging#choose a script lmao
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tired of being called boring cuz i hate toxic ships </33 im sorry i get triggered easily by stuff like that brah, the most toxic my ships r allowed to get before i get triggered is a lil possessiveness and a hint of unhealthy codependency 🤭 beyond that, i literally get sick to my stomach lmao..
do what u want but anyone whose never been abused before does NOT get the right to call ME boring for not liking abusive ships..
#i just think too many people equate them not liking something as it being inherently bad.. why dont we all just shut up.. lmao#do ur thing tbh like if u enjoy reading it and dont condone abuse irl then go ahead#i just will not participate and thats okay bro like we dont all have to like the same things#be an individual bro like we dont all have to have the same likes and dislikes#why do i have to read comments on all my fav fics about how theyre tired of things being 'too fluffy' LEMME ENJOY MY LOVELY FLUFF#if i get a comment like that on one of MY fics it is literally over i will die#anyway..#okay this is a little fib cuz i am also a huge fan of the cannibalism as a metaphor for love thing. um.. let me have this LMAO.#romanticizing cheating is something i just cant stand though ngl#honestly i dont know why i like toxic codependency and CANNIBALISM but having an affair is where i draw the line..#i think consent is my issue like i need there to be consent or its over and i cry and throw up from reading it lmfao#i like toxicity when its because they love each other TOO much.. THATS IT.. NO MORE CHEATING NO MORE ONE SIDED ABUSE NO MORE#i will continue to enjoy my super healthy fluffy protective ships 5ever#meows post#fanfic#ao3
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Zora...zora volcanic mining communities.... I have....so many ideas....on how integral this community is to my Domain...and how they would mine underwater, the PPE they would have to wear..
#me to myself at 2 am JOT THAT DOWN WRITE NOW#the zoras yearn for the mines#morning stretches and pre job breifs are a must#rescue teams exist for cave ins....#zora saftey manager#crest armor that is the equivalent to hard hats#PERSONAL PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT FOR THE ZORAS MUST BE WORN AT ALL TIMES#u will get in BIG trouble if u dont#major writes ups from the safety manager#tunnels must be reinforced as they are dug#haha can u tell i worked on a construction site for awhile#chaotic words#zora#domain expansion zora obsession
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