#be an individual bro like we dont all have to have the same likes and dislikes

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[punkshitposts]

something I think is actually hilarious is that if you go left enough you start having more stances in common with (individual) conservatives, and if you go right enough you start agreeing with (individual) leftists. like i have a pretty close friend who's self described as "just far enough right that I hate politicians" , whom I hard disagree with his overarching political stances. but the finer details of it... yeah we agree with each other. gun control/gun rights opinions taxation opinions pro-small government opinions slight separatist opinions anti two party opinions anti-corporation opinion ect ect ect.

we stand on opposite sides of a standard political compass but I genuinely think if I were to count stats, I'd agree with as many of his stances as I would a liberals/democrats stances. my hs gov teacher described the difference in right vs left to us as "everyone's goal here is the betterment of mankind, they just think the best ways to do it are different" and that's literally the best way, to me, to describe what the difference in right vs left is regarding anarchism specifically. we got ESSENTIALLY the same opinion but the ways we think are the best ways to go about enacting said opinion are what makes us different. and something abt that is really painfully funny to me. envisioning a world where an-something is the major world thing, not capitalism.... and there's STILL right vs left... but The Anarchist Versions. christ.

sorry for the book i wrote in the tags. ignore typos I am NOT retyping any of that to fix them xoxo

[oceanwithouthermoon]

tired of being called boring cuz i hate toxic ships </33 im sorry i get triggered easily by stuff like that brah, the most toxic my ships r allowed to get before i get triggered is a lil possessiveness and a hint of unhealthy codependency 🤭 beyond that, i literally get sick to my stomach lmao..

do what u want but anyone whose never been abused before does NOT get the right to call ME boring for not liking abusive ships..

[everest-is-dead-now]

@ofthemorningstars commented on my q&a post and i wanted to make a general little post for ALL of you aspiring writers.

i’ve talked to people who wanted to start writing many times before, who have said to me “your writing is so good, and i wish i could do it like you”. i always say the same thing to them:

cut bc this is long lol

the number one first thing you need to know when you start writing is that it has to be yours. it is a world entirely your own, of your design, your unique and wonderful imagination, and it must make YOU happy. don’t compare urself to me, dont compare urself to tolstoy, don’t compare urself to shakespeare. the things you make can only be made by you, even if they’re inspired by something else, even if they’re fanfic. every story, movie, song, painting, etc. is derivative of something else, that’s just bc there’s so many talented humans. that doesn’t mean they aren’t unique creations on their own. that doesn’t mean you’re copying someone.

the biggest roadblock to writing—and any art really—is your own mind. you will kill urself with negativity, telling urself that it isn’t good enough, that it is awkward, that it is derivative, that it does not deserve to be read. i struggle with that all the time, but generally that’s to my own standards and not another authors. this is what i mean when u say u can’t compare urself—

YOU HAVE SO MUCH CREATIVITY TO OFFER THE WORLD.

YOU.

you are amazing. everything you create is special. i could never write what you write, and you could never write what i write. we are humans who grow up in vastly different lives, with experiences that shape the way we think and create and inspire. we have different opinions, relationships, and memories that will shine through in our individual works.

when we write, we leave the unique and beautiful pieces of ourselves in the text.

and you need to remember that.

the second thing i tell people to focus on is time.

i’m gonna expose myself on main here and show you a snippet of a fanfic i wrote when i was 13

yeah that’s fucking embarrassing. what an introduction bro. people totally get tattoos when they’re 15.

the point being that you don’t start writing like a wizard day one. this excerpt was about a year into my writing and i was a middle schooler. you look at that and you wouldn’t expect the author of little monster.

so if writing is something you want to do and you’re passionate for, even as a hobby, you need to sit down and do that often. VERY often. serious and even average authors write EVERY DAY. even if it’s just one sentence. writing is an easily accessible hobby that has a HIGH ceiling for “being good” at it and an even tougher path to the professional level. anyone can write, and everyone does. whether those are emails or smutty fanfics, it’s just a fact of life. if it’s something you want to improve at, take it seriously. so many people write a few stories and call it day, saying they suck and they’ll never improve. well, i’ll tell you now, you’ll never feel good about your writing until you take it seriously.

and if it’s casual for u, that’s totally fine! i won’t tell u that u HAVE to write everyday. not even i do that !! (though it is most days). but that doesn’t mean it’s something you don’t have to work on. imagine if you wanted to learn an instrument— if you only learned a few songs, if you only practice once in a blue moon, would you call urself a musician? even if u never wanted to join a band, would you call yourself a guitarist because you learned four chords?

you’ll never be happy with ur art unless u practice. and it will suck, i assure you. but you need to be patient. you have to be bad first to be good.

so, in summation of all these things i’ve learned both on my own and in studying creative writing, i’ll leave you with this (and i know this post is a fucking mess lmao)

you are the most special and unique person in the world, because only you can tell the stories in your head. just give yourself the time and patience to get there.

i believe in you.

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[chlorinecake]

I just saw what that anon said and I can really really relate I feel like there's no way I can like them cuz I'm black I feel like. Weird for having a crush on Ni-ki cuz I'm black and even though I know there's no chance anyway cause he probably doesn't date fans obviously lol It makes me ashamed especially because people are always saying "what if / he probably doesn't like black girls/people" and it makes me feel like I'm less beautiful because I'm black and even if he did date fans I mean I'm like SOOOO ugly like atrocious but it makes me feel like even if I was a little bit more pretty he wouldn't like me or would dismiss me cause I'm black or like I wouldn't be good enough or he'd be disgusted or disappointed or weirded out because I'm black and a fan /has a crush on him and besides him it makes me feel like enhypen wouldn't talk to me or treat me the same cuz I'm not Asian or white like I couldn't be a fan or wouldn't be as important or pretty or cool or even just they wouldnt want me as a fan or like me or even look my way cause im black its gotten so bad that people dont evn have to say that anymore (they do but they dont have too) for me to think that way. Like I know we all saw that pretty engene video with that girl with the glasses and i couldn't help but make it about race like thinking would they look at me like that or would I be ugly abd weird cause I'm black ? Or if she was black would they still think she's pretty? Or would they even put the camera on her if she was black ? Anyway I'm rambling but being black is something I struggle with even without people saying the group I like or the guy I have a crush on (Niki obviously) wouldn't like me or would hate me for being black . Or they would be uncomfortable or disgusted with me because I'm black so it's just hard to even see myself meeting them or *even to imagine myself in reader fanfics even if the reader's supposed to be black because I've convinced myself that the only way I'd be pretty or attractive or they'd be friends withe or date me in Ni-kis case is if I was white or Asian* (*just talking about from a fanfic standpoint for this one* but yeah) but yeah it sucks and

Okay, I REFUSE to sit here and let you talk down on yourself like that. I don’t care how true you may think it is, YOU ARE NOT UGLY, Mirah ~ You’re beautiful, from head to toe, melanated skin, curly hair and all. Black women are beautiful, it’s disgusting to me how society has brought some of us to a point where we feel insecure, undesirable, or unworthy of affection from others. My words might not do much to encourage you, because finding confidence (esp as a black girl) takes time. But I really urge you to understand that you can’t expect other ppl to accept you when you don’t even accept yourself. Wish I could give you the BIGGEST hug rn, bc this actually hurts to read :(

Another point, I’ve seen plenty videos of Enhypen (along with other kpop groups) connecting with colored fans in the same way they do with their supporters of a fairer complexion, but I won’t share any of those videos here bc I don’t want you to seek “proof” as a way for you to feel better abt yourself.

On the flip side, let’s say that some ppl in the kpop industry DO have a prejudice (which I’m sure some do): your life and happiness isn’t dependent on their validation.

Let’s not even get started on how a lot of Ni-Ki’s favorite artists are black (Riki Jackson ? Bro would’ve never called himself that if he was racist)… but anyway, colored people like any other group of individuals can b really amazing once they get past their insecurities and embrace the way God made them. Jst know that u can always come to be if your struggling with something or just want to vent <3

[sethdomain]

looking at dsmp character if they can be a himbo

wether they are beefy or not is up to my design interpetation

-c!Foolish (3/3)

DO WE HAVE TO QUESTION IT?? HE'S OFFICIALLY ONE

-c!Will Ash (0/3)

I think cwill is like the total opposite of what A himbo is. He's not kind, he's very very hostile to people, he's not beefy and is a very smart individual. So no.

-c!Sam (2/3)

He is beefy, he is kind, BUT HE BUILT A GODDAMN PRISON REDSTONE SYSTEM

-c!Techno (2/3)

Same case as Sam this dude is fucking smart, a strategist fucking genius.

-c!Puffy (2/3)

Is she beefy in my interpertation? Yes, is she kind? very much so, but stupid? I dont think she checks that, she's one of the people that knows wtf is up with the eggpire bro.

-c!BBH (3/3)

Is he kind? YES HE VERY MUCH IS BUT KIND IN A kind(evil) WAY, is he beefy? yes i can comfirm that, is she stupid? IS THAT NEEDED TO BE ASKED??

-c!Drm(-999/3)

he's not endorsed by the lesbian so he's instantly disqualified

-c!Tubbo(1.5/3)

is he beefy? yes, kind? debatable, stupid? he built a nuclear bomb

-c!Ranboo(1/3)

twink and smart

-c!tommy(2/3)

he might gets lesbian and is stupid, but he lacks manner and beef. Honestly the kind part is debatable, i'd argue he's actually good natured but it tends to be overshadowed by his chaotic nature

-c!jschlatt(2/3)

he's stupid and jacked, but kind? no

-c!xd(erm)

he's just a weird guy and a god... he knows things

-c!mexican dream(3/3)

you know what maybe he is a himbo... Like he's abbrassive but that doesn't mean he isn't kind. I think mexican dream is actually kind to people and i like to thing he's jacked. Also he's very stupid.

c!philza(2/3)

too twinkish... but checked kind and stupid

c!slimecicle(3/3)

LISTEN I THINK HE'S HIMBO, HEAR ME OUTTTT. He's not exactly very intelligent, slimecicle is like jacked so his character automatically is also jacked and also very kind. Like out of all the nevadas he's the most optimistic and welcoming one.

c!Niki(no)

I think niki check listed kind but even that is debatable.

c!George(twink)

twinkkk

c!sapnap(too mean)

I dont think he check listed the kind part.

c!connoreatpants(decent man)

he's just a decent man.

ok im tired bye feel free if u want to add on into this thing, wether debate argue about my choice or anything whatever

[themole]

its rly weird how like social media works and it functions as a really good reason why people shouldnt take it as seriously as they do,,,, ik "delusional leftism" is a meme response from right wingers but its kind of insane how true it is on some level,,, like how popular "you need to do more than vote every four years" is a common sentiment in leftist social spaces and memes and stuff and if you ask 99% of leftists online the simple question of "like what? what do you do more than vote every 4 years?" you've just broken their logic like they cant understand their lack of doing anything on an individual level and will just be like "um its impossible to do anything rn so we're waiting" as the most common response like,,,,, how many cycles of this are u gonna do b4 u stop wasting so much time into this? genuinely so many people are deluded into having some kind of agency and then when pressed on why they dont act with it they relinquish said agency "oh well its impossible CURRENTLY sooo yk yk" and will adopt that same agency yet again later having forgotten the conversation you had ever really happened or the importance of it like BRO 😭 LETS JUST PUT ALL THIS ENERGY INTO BRINGING GMOD BACK OR SOMETHING LMAO WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING ELSE BRO IM DYING RIGHT NOW

[mysterionrisez]

idk much to ask about for hcs, but what genre of music do you think each of the main 4 likes (and craig's gang if u wanna)? :D

it took me a bit to get to this bc this question means so much to me you dont understand . ANWAYS

stan: ...very generic answer but like. midwest emo. dad rock. and like.. emo / pop rock too??? he could rock w/ some fall out boy, but not like patd cuz its too theatre kidsy. and OBVIOUSLY the front bottoms and alex g and modern baseball!! if we learned anything in band in china its that he very much treats music like an outlet for his emotions. and on that note he listens to metal too, but mostly when he is mentally at his worse.

kyle: i dont think i could pin him down to one genre, he's a big music guy but stays within the constraints of "music with authenticity but not to the point that it makes him look pathetic". so he's not listening to the front bottoms like stan is because that's just.. TOO raw, and hes caught up in the "lack of music conventions" in stan's music taste (he doesn't know a thing about music theory so he'll get pissed if you ask why). at the same time like kyle would NOT be into overproduced shit you hear on the radio u feel me. he curates his spotify playlist moods well, new wave/folk/indie rock/r&b at his neutral state and hip hop/punk/harder rock when at his other neutral state (pissed off). he doesn't listen to music when he's sad he just sits there in silence with a thousand yard stare

cartman: once again, expected answer, but he's a bubblegum pop girlie, so like britney spears/lady gaga/justin timberlake/beyonce OBVIOUSLY!!! he also likes hyperpop but the types that lean more into the "pop" part than the "hyper" part like charli xcx and carly rae jepsen. he hates listening to anything that isnt fun and stan and kyle dont like anything too fun so every road trip where they pass the aux across the group is a warzone

kenny: quite literally will listen to anything and everything. falls into the industrial pop / electropop scene frequently because he loves that it all sounds very New! he is a very social individual so he's most likely to put on what will get a rise out of his friends, he puts on 100 gecs and nine inch nails everytime he gets the aux because they bitch about it the entire time. its funny. he prefers to have noise on 24/7 and will even listen to pop country if it means unlocking new emotions

butters: will also listen to anything but to a worse degree. kenny has a rationale for what he listens to and why he enjoys it but butters just hears a song and decides its the best thing he's heard in his life. he's well versed in the girlypop scene through cartman but he also thinks that ajr is genuinely #deep. you know those overproduced songs that sound like they'd be in old navy commercials??? yeah. butters would listen to that shit.

but also worth mentioning hes not really a music person like he doesnt have spotify and most of what he listens to is through his friends

craig: just straight up does not listen to music. he doesnt hate it but there is no urge and he is DEEPLY noise sensitive, and a lot of music is unpredictable. more likely to put on a tv show he's already seen 437587354 times if he needs sound in the background.

clyde: college frat bro vibes like hes into really fake diluted edm like chainsmokers and calvin harris kinda bullshit. he is NOT a music guy and just searches "top hits" and listens to whatever spotify spits at him.

tolkien: another will-listen-to-mostly-anything soldier! he's most accustomed to stuff his parents play around him, so a lot of 60s rock, blues, jazz, swing, shit like that. he's a mild-tempered guy with a mild-tempered taste in music, he'll go crazy for a good guitar solo/bassline like jimi hendrix. because of that he's offput by anything too loud or raunchy like kenny's music but he's desperate to fit in with his peers so he makes it work

jimmy: not very notable because i think he has generic music enjoyment however i do think he's one of weird al yankovic's top streamers on spotify. he and kenny team up to create the worst queue at the house party. he's the one tossing in witch doctor and crazy frog

tweek (just for fun): is very scared of lyrical music trying to communicate Themes and Ideas to him so he listens to car crash sfx type a beats just to get the demons out

wendy (also for fun): dykezilla who listens to laufey and phoebe bridgers and beabadoobee. what can i say.

[real-total-drama-takes]

im bored and kinda high so heres my opinion on all the reboot characters

caleb - is a character

axel - im just as gay for her as the next guy but there's no way in hell she's final two next season lol but i wanna hold hands w her

nichelle- yass girl give us nothing 🥰

scary girl - idc idc she was funny asf but i am glad she went early bc if she stayed any longer i wouldve hated her lol

damien - one of the best things to come from the reboot and yall are doing him a huge disservice shipping him w priya 🥴 that shit is so boring but honestly? there might be something there somebody's gotta make me a believer tho. CONVINCE ME

mk - as a bitter, annoying, sarcastic individual myself i could not stand this bitch omg 💀 her character has a ton going for it but all they did w her is make every single one of her lines sarcastic n shit and i was BORED

raj - dumb gay man i love him

wayne - dumb ace man i love him

ripper - bro just wasnt funy. i dont get why they make characters who just pride themselves in being nasty n shit kind of a waste of development idk

zee - we can all agree that he was great but he gives me early boot vibes for next season bc like if we're demanding development for all the first season early boots then he's just gonna be there ig. dumb can only get you so far yknow?

chase - him and emma both are such wasted potential like BREAK THE HETEROS UP OMG their relationship dragged the second half down so bad like chase is just bad for the sake of being bad. like he wasn't even funny either just a waste of space by the time he was gone 😭

emma - first i'll say im glad we got a plus sized girl w some fucking athletic ability beCause THEY EXIST yay happy but anyway she was so funy until she got back with chase and that whole shit w him throwing that challenge for pizza was so DUMB like she honestly thought he did that shit for her 💀 like she was CONVINCED bro the straight delusion was insane

julia - she was the bad bitch we all needed and deserved but i cannot sit here and let you mfs say that she played the game well bc she absolutely DID NOT. girlie had no actual strategy other than winning and thas not even a strategy. even her trying to "manipulate" chase that one time sucked too lmao. bro her goal was to get everyone to hate her and win out of spite that shit is so dumb but it's so her so idc we love her anyway

millie - there were so many times where i lowkey forget she existed lmfao i don't even dislike her it was just "oh yea she here too lol" but i gotta say it kinda feels like they used her as a scapegoat to make writing her outta the finale easier idk maybe it's just me. but her crying after bowie clowned her ass when she was eliminated was the funnies bit in the entire show i was giggling n shit bc she honestly did that to herself lmao rip

priya - people compare her to zoey and sky way too much honestly (its me, im people) but when you look at it we have a mary sue that was infuriating to watch , the same girl but olympic flavored whos existence i have to be reminded of every two months, and priya. priya is perfectly fine and she was a nice winner even if i knew she was gonna win the second she was onscreen lolZ but when she read millie's notebook and absolutely demolished her ego i was living. like girlie ate her up w absolutely no crumbs left idc

bowie (the real winner) - i was fully prepared and ready to hate this twink istg. like i was in my homophobic era and ready the second his name was called but omg i love him sm. he was the queen i never knew i needed in my life. and to all the mfs who say his gayness is his entire personally have never met an fem black man and it shows 💀 idc what anyone says he's the best writer character in the entire show 🤭 as much as i love him i cannot let his fit slide. the pearls can stay bc those were a serve but the pants??? THE FUCKING PANTS??? THOSE FUCKING FLOOD WARNING HIGH WATERS.?? why would they do him like that omg. fits like that are why we get hate crimed 😔

ok im done good luck to anyone who actually reads this lmao

.

[rin-and-jade]

We've only just recently figured out that we're a system so forgive us for our lack of language to describe what we want to say and ask.. but we want to know what communication and memory are like for other systems, both yours and others you may have encountered. We feel very atypical, with our emotions leaking into one anothers experience of the world, and flashes of memory too. We dont really lose consciousness when another has control, it's like.. we exchange the video game controller we control the body and experience the world through, and if we want we can reach over and push for control. The one who isnt in control can still tell whats happening to some degree but despite all the changes to thought patterns, speech, the way we move, feel pain, taste things, we cant shake the notion that its all some elaborate fake our mind is tricking us into thinking.

We have a hard time identifying with many of the common ways people describe their experiences with DID, we often feel like multiple heads on the same body than utterly distinct individuals that exist in separate spheres.

There's also the matter of the fact we don't tend to think with words and instead concepts and feelings with no words attached, and often have to speak out loud to communicate with other members that are feeling things that are affecting the rest of us, or to let others know that we should be trying to sleep or to alert them that we should eat...

Are these things that you've heard others talk about before? We're still looking for a psych or something that can tell us more but we just have no one we know who's plural or anyone who can understand even.. sorry for the long rambling post. And thank you for reading.

So i have one friend who has osdd, another with did, and me (did) and from what i've seen,, my osdd friend does tell me about being more aware of things and that applies to every parts they have + capable to keep up with it, not sure about the switches.

My people think differently here about your comment, in this case some goes like "everyone are contrastingly different people" and the other one like "we're faces of the same person" which is similar to your "heads in one body" and not "distinct spheres" so personally think this is how they choose and want to see it as, neither are wrong.

And, bro you're not alone in this, me and my other did friend are also capable of thinking in nonverbal ways (images, concepts, vague feelings) though i just asked him out of curiosity so i don't know anything deeper other than my own experience,, where some can pick it up better and some does worser at it. Sometimes i just stare at this bro and think what i want to think, and they go "ahhh yeah that part of the day". It was a fun experiment though we stray away from nonverbal expression (other than bleeding emotions) as it can cause a misunderstanding between our own peeps, we mainly stick to talking or hunches.

In conclusion, yes i have heard these things before, be it from others or myself,, if you need someone who is plural and understand things, that would be me,, i don't mind being friends and helping you next time.

- j

[8531nimkook]

Would love to hear you non delulu take on the small moments actually that made me go ding ding ding about them. Like when hobi asked jimin why he was doing his bday live in Jk's studio and why jimin couldn't answer and the reaction of all 3. Or the "Jk is in charge of clothes too" and Jimin's reaction. Or the thirstrap and the hicky. (I still think they had/have something going I just love to hear more opinions on it).

ok disclaimer before I start, this is all just for fun!

Non delulu explanations:

bday live in jk's studio: that room looks like a super plain room with no personalisation tbh (when compared to rapline studios), so when hobi said that it was jk's studio, it could be that thats the room jk uses to record when he's in the office building, not like a "plaque on the door" type of jungkook studio. He is a homebody and probably has a more sophisticated setup in his own home, who knows. so it could be that there are like 3-4 rooms like that for vocal line members and jk just happens to use this one a lot?? then jimin too uses one of these rooms and today he happens to pick the one jk uses a lot.

(To be fair, now that ive seen jk's apartment, it looks like he's a minimalist. so that might as well be his actual studio.)

With the clothes comment, (tbvh I dont really remember this moment clearly) i have to reach harder and think about things that two platonic superstar bros would do. 🤔 They both are from the same world of fame and the way they look matters so I assume they talk about clothes sometimes? Especially during public schedules like airport appearances. Maybe they get into disagreements about what is "cool" and "in" and maybe in those instances, jk wins the argument? Or jm ends up listening to jk's opinions, kinda like admitting he's got the better sense if style. Maybe hobi is alluding to some kind of inside joke like that.

now anon, i have to remind you that no matter which way we look at it, giving an explanation for any isolated thing they do will involve some serious filling in the blanks on my part because they give us what they give us hehe.

So for the birthday thirsttrap... jk was feeling himself that day, his hair had grown to a length that was just right and he'd gotten a new pair of glasses that looked just *chefs kiss* on him and wanted to show it off?? Then he remembered that it was his bro's birthday. What better opportunity to make armys happy and do his due diligence to a fellow member on his birthday! (Just make sure to call jm bro so everyone knows that its armys he is thirst trapping.)

Damn hickeygate right off the bat huh?

This one... honestly this one stumps me. Because normally, if one ends up with such an incriminating mark on their neck, there are fifty other options that would work better and be considered wiser than the one jikook chose. To actually point out and address it to their coworkers like that, with cameras around? Even the staff were stumped. Use makeup, call it an insect bite, or just ask the staff to not air the footage, anything. But instead, we get full coverage on the fucking hickey. Once from jm and then again from jk. And they air it. I know this is supposed to be a non delulu explanation, but the best I can come up with is that, jikook were fucking with us. They were fucking with us and laughing about it behind the scenes. They know that we like to find shippable moments and decided, we'll give them a moment that's so fucking bizarre, that they won't know what to think. Its genius because they know that our brains will definitely go there when we see the hickcey but there's NOTHING we can do about it. Bet they enjoyed every second, absolute menaces.

PHEW!! that was proper brain excersise lol! I agree with you about the small moments. My delulu feelings about any of these individual moments are not that dramatic tbh. (except hickegate. They are insane for that one.) But evvverything compounded just becomes too much to ignore. Its always them at the crime scene yk? And they are WILD sometimes hehe.

Thanks for the ask!! This was fun 💜

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

[themkultra]

do NOT take this the freak way 

but like how did we get so entrenched in the culture of “if you’re an adult interacting with minors you must be tiptoeing on eggshells 100% of the time otherwise ur grooming them” where we get these huge callout posts/warning docs abt like . literally a “ur mom” joke or smth of that cadence, like im specifically curious about what makes 17 a minor but like the SECOND you turn 18 its like “YOU MUST TAG EVERY POST U MAKE THAT HAS THE SLIGHTEST PENIS MENTION WITH MINORS DNI, DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO MINORS AFTER 8PM, AND DONT YOU EVER DARE TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM EVER BC UR GONNA GROOM THEM!!!” like bro its 12:06am on ur birthday, 7 minutes ago it wouldve been fair game??? like what??? i dont get it genoiuenly also i think 18 should still be considered “minor” but also i think we need to reevaluate what minor/adult even MEANS in ONLINE spaces specifically online. like ive been told i cant talk about a funny hookup story with someone whos like 5 months younger than me bc i had just turned 18 . where is the logic in that. like ur brain dont stop developing until like 25 or smth. ON THE OTHER HAND i totally understand the reasoning thats like, oh ur at different maturity levels and diff stages in life, thats why you should be cautious when talking with someone younger than you and yeah thats totally fair! but i also think its making a lot of adults think that they can no longer have the same friendship relationship they had before with their friends who happen to be minors, which is kinda sad bc like come on penis and sex jokes are fucking funny we’re not puritans here and anyone whjo thinks teenagers dont think abt sex is living under a rock AND AGAIN IM NOT A FUCKING FREAK IM NOT ACTIVELY THINKING ABT TEENS HAVING SEX im just saying, why are we treating all minors like sterilized fabergé eggs who must be handled with like 6 layers of starchy white gloves as to not upset their delicate balance . i think its healthy for teens to have adult friends who treat them like adults IN THE RIGHT WAYS bC a lot of times all the adults in their lives treat them like babies when they want to be recognized as the individuals they are. i think im a much better well rounded person bc i had adult friends (technically parent’s friends that talked to me when they were over) when i was younger that taught me shit abt like, yknow, being an adult and growing up while still having healthy boundaries. like i think tumblr is soooo far removed from real life im realizing this more and more if real life was how tumblr is it would be insane tbh. imagine a highschooler goes up to you and asks for directions on the street and u have to be like “IM 18 IM AN ADULT DONT INTERACT WITH ME I MIGHT GROOM YOU” like ?????? jesus? anyway go ahead flay me alive if you like but again i leave you with this:

i am a normal person if whatever you think i may be implying is nasty then obvsiously im not implying it and youre reading this wrong on purpose

also since when could you get crucified for talking about anything relating to different age relationships without being accused of being a freak. go outside

[shut-up-rabert]

whatever the anon is saying I've watched videos of the same from last year and I've listened to those music myself this year on the ram navami's event and that definitely is not something lord Rama wants us to do what I've seen ppl doing during ram navmi.... so-

I'm a hindu I don't get it how is it hinduphobic I've also seen it so it's ig the truth if that's hinduphobia than your post was also islamophobic and no pleasw dont be so naive and reply ke I didn't say muslim i just said some community nvm I don't really find you or your opinions or your blog smth i would follow or someone I would like to interact .... it's just because you're a part of the desiblr your post came on my dash and your urge to deny all the things thw anon said with words like hinduphobia and evidence and liberals blah blah arghhh like bro chill it was just too much to just see and get through it without involving I don't want this dumbassery in the name of hindublr or desiblr I can't unfollow the tags ig i better block ya

….the post isn’t even tagged either hindublr or desiblr. Its only non personal tag is hinduphobia and ram navmi.

For this specific reason aswell.

Tumblr would not have showed you my post if it wasn’t tagged desiblr or you weren’t already liking my stuff (which your “i don’t find your opinions something I follow” tells me you weren’t given this is a political blog).

……… you wanna say something now or?……

And do ya think I was denying the claims over nothing? I searched the stuff they were speaking of, and came to the conclusion after finding nothing. You too, anon, have only provided words and no actual proof.

The burden of proof is on people who say xyz happened, how does someone prove it did not happen? By showing it not happening?😭

And how do you not see an annual attack on Hindu processions to be hinduphobic is beyond me. If someone threw a stone at me everytime I passed by, I would think they have a problem with me aswell.

My post was not islamophobic because nowhere did I blame Islam or muslims in that post. Do you think I did not mention the said community because I wanted to hide Islamophobia?

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

I did that because I did not believe that every Muslim should receive flak for that as the community in itself is not responsible for such people, but the fact that those individuals were part of a particular religion and hated us because we were a part of another one, it does make religion relevant in all this, both ours and theirs.

So no, Muslims at large are not at fault here, but these attackers did hurt us in name of islam, so mentioning what excuse they used to attack us is only natural becuase it is a crime against humans and hence intention needs to be known for being able to tackle/trace it better.

And do you realise that the whole point of me answering such provoking asks is to either confirm or deny them? What do you think I will do with a post that’s blatantly accusing with no proof? Not deny it? Not ask for proof? Tell me whether any of the “excuses” I used were out of place or unrequired there.

[fxirybun]

too damn true!!! i also feel like with ur last point that ppl dont seem to remember as easily compared to previous times? for instance whenever theres a "new" tiktok trend i look at it and realise its not actually "new" just something that the newer generations seem to think they created or made it new again.

its like kids or teens nowadays are so focused on their online life that they forget things have been done before in a less than new way so to see aesthetics that have been around long before thenselves come back as an aesthetic more than a lifestyle baffles me. particularly with y2k, not only do the 00s feel too long ago ngl we had so much good stuff but its like if you search it on youtube all ppl say is how trashy it was just because they didnt live in the era of it or they put an importance of aesthetics without realising they really wouldnt cope without the internet but its more so they prefer how something looks from that era, than anything else, i dont think anyones whos chronically online (myself included) would realistically want to have zero internet in current times it really gives fomo honestly its so bad.

if u arent doing what everyone else is doing its so bad making us feel further behind bc time aint slowing down for nobody. we 30 somethings had a lot too but i feel that gen z just dont realise the difference in society between then and now and it seems vastly different i cant explain it? thats why i feel like we were in some sort of time alteration device in or around 2019 cause nothings felt normal since then and even ppls behaviours and just the way they "think" has been altered so much and it always has to accomodate to whatever is going on both online and irl, the fact we have to try to mentally separate the online version from our physical selves is bonkers. thats whag i mean its totally different and idk if its a good kind of different or bad. im even seeing this crop up with new generation kpop groups and my faves ultimately they still are very much chronically online even if they are on a break. its actually hard to keep up with this stuff going on all the time hbu?

that reminded me of the whole baggy jeans & flared jeans trend and how my mom told me that these jeans used to put a chokehold on them back in the 90s lol. we be following the 3 Rs rules 😆 : reduce , reuse , recycle.

well.. if the shoes fit , fits them 🤷‍♀️ and the majority of teens are usually in their experimenting phase wherein they get to try new things that they're curious about. been there , done that ◔_◔ an example would be my little brother who's in his mid-teen years. he's experimenting with some clothes and would mix n match them cuz it's "trendy". i find his fashion questionable because of the layered tops and pants he's wearing 😭 like bro it's freakin hot outside and you're going to wear that ?? tho i'm not gonna stop him , letting him explore and find his niche (˘̩̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

you know the whole "emo phase" back in the early 2000s and how people would throw shade on it ? well surprise surprise cuz tara yummy , johnnie guilbert , and jake webster are trending , and how their goth / emo fashion is making its way on trends.

gen z's are individuals who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are pretty much self-aware as to what's going on in this world. i find it admirable because their voices are being used to change the current societal expectations of what the govt or any politician had established.

i do feel that the whole pandemic was a major catalyst for all of us and how everything seems to be happening too fast. but i kid you not with this one cuz some of the millennials and gen x peeps i know irl has been noticing how we gen z's have no presence in mind and that we have short attention spans 😭

well , they're right with that one cuz i noticed it from my blockmates , the younger students , and my skibidi toilet siblings. and you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to catch up cuz i'm on the same page as you lmao ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) i had no idea what a "fanum tax" meant not until my little brother who's a gen alpha told me its meaning 💀 there's a new wave of slangs too and how i was left in confucius at first but i got a hold on it over time.