#that goes for his complications with gender and romance too

[new-hyperfixation-every-month]

started listening to jar of rebuke today. im somehow 14 eps in already and im OBSESSED with jared. ive said "hes just like me fr" at least 5 times per ep

[larkingame]

play the demo | patreon | larkin is rated 18+

someone is after you.

for over a decade and a half now, you’ve traveled up, down and across the country--running schemes and hunting fiends with your mentor, con-man-by-day, vampire-hunter-by-night, Wyatt Abrams--the prolific vampire slayer and the living descendant of Gregory Abrams, founder and prophet of the Abrams Family, the nomadic vampire-hunting cult that raised you--and was wiped out years ago.

carrying the abrams name means also means carrying on it's enemies--but that isn't to say you haven't forged a couple of your own along the way. now, it seems someone is trying to make good on old threats and promises. they've placed a bounty on your head.

so you and wyatt do what you do best: you run away. to some little town, out nevada ways, where the title of town preacher is unexpectedly thrust upon you--bringing back years of trauma you thought long tucked away.

as if that wasn't enough, on your first day in town the local mine up and explodes--leaving the reclusive family that runs the town--and owns the mine--to suspect you as the main culprit.

now you're left with the responsibility of investigating the disaster to clear your name, looking into the mysterious cult just south of town, the gang of outlaws who've been wrapped up deep in a feud with larkin's patriarchal family--a group of people which you suspect to be hiding a secret most monstrous--all while dealing with the ghosts of your past, and the roots your family left behind.

larkin is a vampire western choose-your-own adventure game, with focuses on romance, religion, horror and complicated family dynamics.

play a fully customizable character [[decide upon their physical appearance, gender identity, sexuality, customize their pronouns]]

dictate a unique relationship with your mentor-turned-father-figure and his former appentice

romance any of ten characters, four male, three female, one non-binary and two gender selectable characters.

define your characters skillset and scheming tactics, select their weapons and fighting style, elect their feelings on religion, vampires and the cult that raised them.

the doctor [male] cyrus sokolov - the quasi-mayor of larkin, cyrus sokolov also operates as the town's doctor and mortician. he's immeadiately suspicious of you, the new preacher and the reputation you comes with. even though he doesn't like it, he needs your help.

the princess [female] celina sokolova - despite the misconceptions among the townsfolk, the reclusive third sibling of the sokolov family, celina, is actually the family’s eldest. hardly leaving the sokolov mansion, it’s rumored around town that she’s been struck with some sort of sun-related illness, others seem to hold the opinion that miss sokolova simply sees herself as too good to linger amongst the common folk. whatever the case may truly be doesn’t much matter to the people of larkin, after all, it's much more fun to gossip. she's very suddenly developed a fascination with the preacher, a hunger almost. but will she eat you whole?

the mortician's assistant [male] dominic sokolov - the youngest scion of the sokolov family, dominic works as assistant mortician in larkin, though he’s much more interested in larkin’s living townsfolk then the dead ones he’s been charged with taking care of. with seemingly endless information on everyone and everything that goes on in larkin, mister sokolov might not be the worst friend to have.

the lawyer [male] jacob nash -  larkin’s only practicing attorney and resident do-gooder. after passing the bar exam, nash headed out west in the hopes of making a real difference for the people there, only to spend most of his days settling petty disputes and notarizing documents. despite his disappointment, however, nash has managed to keep a level head and his fondness for the people of larkin, even though he’s not so sure the sokolovs have the townsfolk’s best interest in mind.

the bartender [female] rose holloway - larkin’s most recent transplant, that was, until the preacher showed up. former city-girl, rose has adapted to both life out west and on her own, the only way she knows how--by pushing through it. the owner and bartender of larkin’s only saloon, the emerald, rose is a popular figure around larkin whether she likes it or not, but whether that has more to do with her occupation or the fact she also happens to be larkin’s youngest widow is still a topic up for debate.

the lieutenant [male/female/non-binary] hollis - an enigmatic figure around larkin, hollis serves as a lieutenant for the mysterious rateliff fellowship. one of the cult’s few members to make the long trek from their encampment in the desert to town more than once. talked to by few, hated by most, hollis bears the reputation of the people they represent to the town of larkin--one, that isn’t particularly favorable.

the vampire hunter [male/female/non-binary] ace zhang - vampire-hunting-mercenary extraordinaire, the last the preacher knew of ace, they were the young hot-shot on san francisco’s hunting scene. once upon a time ace was a prominent figure in the preacher’s life, the first real acquaintance they managed to make on their own, someone outside of wyatt’s sphere. growing up a member of the guild, their life is one that’s mirrored the preacher’s. maybe that’s why the two seemed to be linked so closely during the preacher’s time in california, whether that was as friends, rivals or something more, their presence is one that remains prominent in the preacher's mind.

the outlaw [male] cassidy alan ward - cowboy, outlaw, bandit, cassidy goes by many names and titles, but the one he prides himself on most is leader. protector of his people, the ward gang hides out somewhere in the hills outside larkin, looming over the townsfolk as an ever-present threat, cassidy finds the sokolovs personally responsible for the death of his sister, caroline, and he is out for blood.

the gunslinger [female] ethel jackson - cassidy's right hand, ethel is a gunslinger through and through. fancying herself the robinhood type, she's got a personal hatred for the family that looms over larkin.  with the fastest gun in all of nevada, maybe even all of the west--ethel could prove to be a valuable friend--or a deadly adversary.

the stranger [non-binary] reyes - the newest addition to ward's gang, not much is known about them or their past--what everyone is well aware of, however, is the fact that nobody whose ever decided to cross reyes has ever come out of it alive.

the vampire [male/female/non-binary] montero moreau - you've hunted down their coven, debilitating any hopes for growth they had in terms of advancing in the cut-throat world of Vampires. you've made montero look like a fool, and they hate looking like a fool. They're determined to hunt you down and take revenge.

the first man [male] - adam - he believes himself to be the mirrored man mentioned in the abrams family book of genesis--the first vampire, plagued to walk the earth--and he has long been in search of his eve.

play the demo | patreon | itch.io

[punkeropercyjackson]

'Hobie is just a they/them cause may/hem' 'Hobie just loves' 'Hobie isn't up for being a boyfriend or future marriage,that's what he meant when he said he hates labels'I've gone beyond tweaking,i'm twoking.Please.PLEASE,write Hobie like an afropunk instead of aracial at best and an oreo at worst

Here's a good take on Hobie's gender and orientation by an afropunk and a Hobie kinnie(/slang)even besides that:When Hobie said he hates labels,he meant he's trans but not sure what kind so he just goes with the flow and he's femme because due the masculinzation of black people as a whole,masculinity was ruined for him out of trauma and he's always liked femininity better anyway which led to antiblacks using it against him.He's t4t,autistic4autistic and black4black and includes mixed black folks in it,be they part white or afro-indigenous or blasian,and also punk4punk with plans to radicalize his crushes before he starts dating them if they aren't punk already.And his black trauma gave him a complicated relathionship with romance both in the sense he was made to feel it's 'not for him' yet still had the toxicity of it's norms forced onto it so he's a hopeless romantic but an actual one because he understands what a healthy and close dating dynamic needs and refuses to be casual-yes,he's still polyamorous-since he wants a real soulmate because he thinks he's too good to settle for 'casual' after all he's been through.I can accept different takes but Not Those

[sosickoflostpassword]

It's pride month! Let's make a list of One Piece characters I head cannon as in the LGBT+ community!

First up is the Captain himself, Luffy

Don't go getting too hot ladies and gents, this bachelor is off the market.

My opinion is that Luffy is Aro/Ace (not that one).

The reality is that unless you are food, friends, or adventure then you probably won't find yourself meaning much of anything to this delightfully joyous fellow.

In short the man has things to do and none of those things include sex or romance.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: also none

Next up we got the navigator, Nami

This pretty lady capture hearts wherever she goes!

My opinion is that she is Bisexual.

Man or woman you'll have a chance with her... for a price.

Just be sure to protect her and her treasure because she is not interested in the fighting thing. She's a damn queen and very much inclined to act like one.

Top ships: Zoro x Nami

Secondary ships: Sanji x Nami, Vivi x Nami, Wanda x Nami

Now let move on to the ships cook, Sanji!

The man is complicated but hear me out.

It is my opinion that he is bisexual.

He cooks hard and simps harder but perhaps there's something going on underneath. He certainly has a soft side which he shows to women almost exclusively. (Key word is almost my friends)

He certainly likes women but perhaps he's overcompensating for something.

Top ships: Sanji x Nami (it would have been pudding if she was at all older but I digress)

Secondary ships: Sanji x Violette, Sanji x Ace

Speaking of Ace let's look at the little firecracker.

Boy what a looker, and seems to me he thinks similarly about a lot of people because it is my opinion that Ace is ...

Pansexual.

Whether you're sporting feminine, masculin, or neither energy Ace is the guy who's eating it up.

Just get him talking about his brother and he goes all mushy for you. Perhaps it's the genuine connection and interest in each other's lives and feelings that really get him going.

Top ships: Ace x Yamato

Secondary ships: Ace x Sanji, Ace x Vivi

Now let's talk about the top Ace partner for me.

Yamato/Oden

Bro heard the term "dress for the job you want not the job you have" and ran with it.

It is my opinion that Yamato/Oden is pansexual and transgender.

This can be quite the hot topic considering his reason for his transition and how he present himself but for me it is cut and dry. Guy says he's a dude and that's all that I'm gunna care about because let's be honest he is THE DUDE.

Yamato values his strength and values sincerity. He's fun loving and always looking for excitement in life. He found those values presented in his biggest idol, Oden. So it is my opinion that he did not change to be more like Oden but found courage in being himself because he discovered Oden.

Top ships: Ace x Yamato

Secondary ships: none

Who can talk about Trans icons in OP without including Kiku!

Kiku lives her life unashamedly herself. She makes no fuss or muss about it either.

I have no head cannon regarding her sexuality as I got no vibes during my time watching her on screen of one or another but Kiku is, not just by my opinion but canonically, transgender.

Strong, elegant, and thoughtful her path in life did not take away from any of her responsibilities or ther seriousness in which she takes them. One of the ayakaza 9 samurai sworn ro protect Oden and his family. They certainly didn't have any I'll feelings towards her and her identity so why should anyone else.

Top ships: none at this time

Secondary ships: none

Let's dive more into gender identity actually by bringing forth the goat himself. The man. The myth. The legend.

Bonclay.

He is beauty, he is grace, he is missus steal your face.

It is my opinion that Bonclay is gender non conforming!

He goes by he him pronouns but makes no effort to explain nor justify his presentation or mannerisms. No should he! He's perfect the way he is.

I've seen no romantic vibes from Bon Chan as of now but he's too busy being the real MVP of every arc he appears in to have the time it would seem. And that's fine by me.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: none

It's getting to be quite long so I will cap this off with the top of the top. THE person to go to in the one piece verse regarding gender and sexual identity.

IVANKOV.

He? She? They? It doesn't matter. It's all the same to Ivankov who strikes me as Gender fluid in its purest form.

Believing a person's gender or appearance shouldn't limit them and that every single person should strive for true happiness within themselves regardless if that looks like how they were born or not!

Ivankov has a unique ability to help with that by injecting hormones into those willing (eh sometimes not) to bring about their truer selves.

Ivankov runs the Queendom! A land seemingly dedicated to challenging gender stereotypes with a beautiful scenic background to cap it off.

You're doing the lords work my friend.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: none

If someone you head cannon in the LGBT+ community isn't on this list that's fine! I'm sure I didn't get them all and there are some that I probably don't head cannon that way. For example it is my opinion that Zoro, Brooke, Robin, and Franky are straight and cis. Jimbei I want to watch more of first and chopper, as a little child bean, doesn't feel right to me to be head cannoning in these ways.

[redgoldsparks]

February Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross read by Alex Wingfield and Rebecca Norfolk

This book started a little slowly for me, as I waited for Roman to regain his memories and for Iris to get back to reporting at the front. Luckily, the magical typewriters once again play a major role in this story as they did in the first one; Roman and Iris's letters are the emotional heart of this series. I also love how it fore fronts the importance of journalists during wartime. Iris's bravery and constant willingness to move towards danger and the unknown in service of sharing the truth makes her a very compelling character. Unfortunately, the magical divine conflict behind the war just didn't compel me very strongly in this book. I think the gods were introduced too slowly into the narrative, and that a lack of a human motivation behind the war simplified the conflict in a way that sucked some of the tension from the text. If you are looking for a solid romance with a strong epistolary element and the aesthetic of wartime setting, this series delivers; if instead you want a complicated, devastating, deeply emotional story of young people surviving a real historical war, pick up Code Name Verity or Rose Under Fire.

Mamo by Sas Milledge

Jo has lived in her small seaside hometown her whole life, and loves it there. But then things start to go wrong- curses, bad luck, mysterious illnesses. She seeks out the town witch and finds a teen girl about her own age, named Orla, who Jo has never met before. It turns out Orla has just returned to town after the death of her grandmother, the previous witch. She wasn't buried properly and her bones are scattered around the town, stirring up bad energy, disturbing the local fae and trolls. Jo and Orla set out of lay the old witch properly to rest, but there's more going on than either of them realize. This is a fairly short but well told tale, queer and magical, and with a little bittersweet edge.

Look on the Bright Side by Lily Williams and Karen Schneemann 

This is a very charming follow up to Go With The Flow, taking place over the friend group's following high school year. Brit, who was diagnosed with endometriosis at the end of the previous book, had a surgery to remove it over the summer. When she goes back to school, she finds her affection caught between two different boys. Christine has finally admitted to herself that she likes Abby as more than a friend... but telling Abby that is another matter. Abby is still working on her campaign of menstrual justice on campus, while Sasha struggles to balance her homework, sports, and time with her boyfriend. The girls learn, grow, make mistakes, and support each other.

Gathering Moss written and read by Robin Wall Kimmerer

It took me a little longer to get into this one than Braiding Sweetgrass, mainly because I had much less personal knowledge of mosses than the larger types of plants which Kimmerer wrote about in Sweetgrass. It doesn't help that mosses do not have common names, so are referred to mainly by scientific names, and I was rarely able to picture them well in my head. However, by about a third of the way through I had fallen into the miniature world of mosses and the striking and insightful ways Kimmerer links them to all other organisms in their ecosystems. I loved learning how mosses, like tardigrades, with which they probably co-evolved, can survive desiccation and be revived by water even after all seeming signs of life have disappeared. I was intrigued by the story of a moss species which changes its gender over its lifespan, starting out producing only female reproductive stalks in its early days, shifting producing a mix of male and female stalks as it matures, and then producing solely male stalks as the patch reaches peak density. I was frustrated by stories of the illegal moss harvesting which is stripping Oregon rain forests bare. And I was once again completely charmed by the beauty and generosity of Kimmerer's writing and worldview. She's a bestseller for a reason; I highly recommend everyone pick up at least one of her books at some point.

The High Desert by James Spooner 

James' white mother and his black father divorced when he was in elementary school, and he moved around a lot. For high school, he moved with his mom to Apple Valley, a barren small town in the desert an hour inland from Los Angeles. Already a skater, James encountered punk music just went he needed it most: as an isolated and angry teen in a racist town with little to no underground scene or counterculture. The music, and later, the politics, of punk raised James in the semi-absence of parents and role models. This memoir, chronically roughly a year, is an unflinchingly honest look at the cruelty, creativity, friendship, and solidarity of teens. It has the density and scratchy texture of a 90s zine without ever sacrificing clarity. I was very impressed by how clearly and in what detail Spooner was able to recreate his high school angst and activist awaking in this coming of age tale. Punk wasn't the music that found me, but I still remember the high of finding a new favorite band or song that felt as if it spoke right to my teen soul. This book is a testament to the power of music to reach into the dark and pull someone out into the light.

Falling Back in Love With Being Human written and read by Kai Cheng Thom 

Short and sweet, this book is half confession, half spell book. Each chapter is written as a letter- to trans women, to activists, to sex workers, to johns, to those contemplating suicide, to TERFs, to children's book writers- each followed with a little action or ritual. I listened to it as an audiobook and loved hearing the letters in the author's voice, but I can also see how reading it in print and lingering over each letter one at a time would be wonderful too.

The Great Beyond by Lea Murawiec translated by Aleshia Jensen 

Manel Naher is an anti-social and idiosyncratic young woman living an endless city in which everyone advertises their own names on street signs, sandwich boards, at social events, on business cards, and by simply shouting them at strangers. This may not sound so different from our own world except that it's driven by an even more intense desperation: if one's name is not known, and one's presence fades fully from people's minds, and the forgotten person will literally die. Manel wants nothing more than to escape the city into the wilds beyond it, but her presence is so low she suffers a near fatal heart attack and is scared into a fearful scramble to gain enough fame to live. Her attempts to claw her way into people's memories is surprisingly successful, and in the process of becoming one of the 1% she leaves behind everything and everyone she loved. Never before have I read a comic that felt so much like literary spec-fic. The concepts are fascinating and the cartooning knocked me off my feet. A visual masterpiece I'll be thinking about for a long time to come.

The Spectred Isle by KJ Charles read by Ruairi Carter

Saul Lazenby is a disgraced archeologist who served time for a war crime during the recent WWI. Back in England, disowned by his family, he struggled to support himself. The only job he is able to secure is as a personal assistant to a batty old major who believes in fairy stories and keeps sending Saul off to various parts of London to investigate supposedly occult sites. Saul knows it's all fake but he keeps investigating anyway... and then a tree bursts in flames in front of him. And a mysterious gentleman keeps showing up at the same sites of sacred groves or ancient wells which Saul's been sent to look at. That gentleman is Richard Glide, who just happens to be the heir to one of the oldest arcane families in England. And he can't tell if Saul is causing the spiritual problems that keep occurring around him or if it's all an unlikely coincidence. This historical romance is a fun and quick read, shorter than most of the KJ Charles books I've read before. Be warned, the end sets up a sequel which has not, and may not, ever actually come out- but I still enjoyed this one on it's own.

Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson 

A gorgeous, nonlinear novel about three generations of a Black family living in New York between roughly the early 1990s to the mid 2000s. The chapters rotate between multiple POVs, covering moments of change, tension, or reflection for the family. The opening scene is the evening of a debut party for sixteen year old Melody, who wears the dress her own mother was supposed to wear at her debut... except that she was already pregnant. From that moment, the narrative spins back time to how each character arrived there: Iris, a teen who refused to give up her baby but also refused to settle into motherhood; Aubrey, a young man in love with a girl who was already leaving him; Iris's mother Sabe, a daughter of a survivor of the Tulsa massacre, a women who stores her money in gold bars hidden around the house; Iris's father Po'boy, who as a young man ran races, and as an old man holds more love for his family that his body can carry. The character work here is so strong- I was immediately swept away into the cares, worries, secrets, and longings of the family. I read the whole book in one day, but I'll be thinking about it for a long time.

We Are The Land: A Native History of California by Damon B Akins and William J Bauer Jr 

It took me a long time to read this book, as it was challenging to read a history of genocide while also seeing genocide in my phone every single day. But I'm ultimately very glad that I finished it. This is a well researched, approachable, indigenous-authored history of the native people in the land now called California. I enjoyed how place specific this book is. I felt much more connected to the history recognizing nearly every place name, and once the book got passed around the year 1900 I started to also recognize names of organizations that still exist and activists who I'm familiar with. I have a much better understanding of the patchwork creation of and the broken promises of the reservations, land allotments, and rancherias. I was happy whenever the book mentioned Pomo master basket weavers Elsie Allen and Mable McKay, who my mom has been telling me about for years, or Greg Sarris, Santa Rosa based chairman of the Graton Rancheria and author. I have a better understanding of this land where I have lived and worked all my life after reading this book.

Zodiac: A Graphic Novel by Ai Weiwei, Elettra Stamboulis and Gianluca Costantini

I've been following Ai Weiwei's work since about 2010, and was absolutely delighted to learn he was releasing a comic memoir. I managed to snag a signed copy though the Comix Experience Graphic Novel of the Month Club and I will treasure it. This book is organized into 12 chapters, each themed around one animal from the zodiac. It weaves together slice of life moments from Ai Weiwei's day to day life, stories of his father (the revolutionary poet Ai Qing), memories of Ai's time as an art student in New York, his incarceration, time spent with his mother, his partner, and his son, conversations with artist friends and some of his international exhibitions. It is not a tight narrative; it wanders, it indulges in myths and fairy tales, it is open ended and I enjoyed it so much. It was written along with Elettra Stamboulis, and draw in a delicate lose line art style by Gianluca Costantini. A few of the lines from the end of the book haven't left my head since I read them: "Freedom of speech and human rights are not given to anybody for free. They always come through fighting and struggle" (101); "Any artist who isn't an activist is a dead artist" (165) and "... the purpose of art, which is to fight for freedom."(166)

Witchy Vol 2 by Ariel Salmat Ries 

This volume was just as beautifully drawn as book 1; the cartooning is masterful, but I don't have a very good sense of where the larger plot is going. This book was mostly a long side quest in which Nyneve learned how to make a broom under an exiled gay broom making master. I enjoyed this! However it didn't particularly seem to move the story forward. I will keep reading, but the sense of drama and urgency from the beginning of the first book is slightly missing here.

No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull read by Dion Graham  

What a ride! I went into this book knowing almost nothing, and I think that was the right way to go so I shall not summarize the plot. This is the first book of a series; it's ambitious, it's weird, it's got a very large and extremely diverse cast; it is such a fresh and original take on a contemporary sci-fi in which the world realizes that monsters, gods, and magic have existed all along. I worried a little in the first third that the book maybe had too many POV characters, most of whom seemed very unconnected from each other except by geographical proximity to either Cambridge, Mass, or the island of St Thomas. However by the end almost all of the characters had been at least tenuously linked by plot events in a way that really worked for me. The book also has trans, nonbinary, asexual, queer, and poly characters whose identities are only revealed slowly, and usually after you've known the character for a while. I am very impressed by the scope of this story and definitely plan to continue with the series.

Arrive In My Hands by Trinidad Escobar 

Sensual, at times tender, at times haunting, this beautiful little book is a collection of lesbian erotic comics from a poet artist at the top of her field. I am definitely biased, having been friends with the author for years, but I also deeply admire this work. The women, witches, and creatures in these stories yearn for pleasure and for freedom; they chase both through oceans, forests, broken suburban towns, and through dreams. The book is perfectly sized to hold close to your heart.

Bird by Bird by Annie Lamott read by Susan Bennett

I've been hearing about this book for years as a writing guide, but it is almost equally a memoir or collection of anecdotes about the writing life. Parts of it worked for me and other parts didn't. The author has a very different type of brain than I have, and the chapters on working through the anxiety, neurosis, and depression she suffered from when trying to write didn't really speak to me at all. I also did not enjoy the handful of flippant jokes about killing yourself when the writing isn't going well. However. There are also some genuinely really moving pieces about writing books as gifts to loved ones, especially loved ones who are soon to leave us. I thought a lot of the advice in the middle about focusing on details, on recording memories, on research, and on character development was really solid, and I want to keep some of it in mind when I start developing my next book. There was also a set of lines in the introduction, about how writers are able to participate in public life while also working from home and without leaving the house which hit the nail on the head of why I entered this career!

Recitatif by Toni Morrison read by Bahni Turpin with an intro written and read by Zadie Smith

I've been wanting to try another Toni Morrison, since the only one I had previously read in high school went completely over my head at age 15. Recitatif is Morrison's only short story, and this audiobook version is read by the wonderful Bahni Turpin (who you might recognize from Angie Thomas or Akwaeke Emezi's audiobooks). Also included in an excellent essay written and read by Zadie Smith. This comes first in the audio, but if you are new to the story as I was, skip the essay and listen to the story first! Then go back and listen to the essay afterwards. This way the cleverness and impact of the story can hit you fully. It is so smart, so well crafted, and such a master class in writing that both reveals and conceals so much about the complicated relationship of two damaged women.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 1 by Ryoko Kui 

I can immediately see why so many people are charmed by this world and these characters! This is the start of a really fun D&D infused adventure story, with a small group of down on their luck adventures deciding to cut their adventuring costs by eating the monsters they kill in the dungeon. The man behind this idea, Laos, is also searching for a missing sister who may or may not have already been eaten by a dragon. I already have books 2 and 3 on hold; I haven't been so captured by a manga series since starting Witch Hat Atelier.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 2 by Ryoko Kui

I devoured this book as quickly as book one. Our adventure party gets a bit deeper into the dungeon and begin to have more meaningful interactions with the beings who dwell there, including an Orc family just trying to get by, golems which grow vegetables on their backs, and living paintings which might reveal more of the buried castle's history.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 3 by Ryoko Kui

A flashback reveals more of the school friendship of Marcelle and Falin; a deep underground lake leads to many encounters with watery monsters of various types. I continue to have a very fun time with this series!

Bunt by Ngozi Ukazu and Mad Rupert

Molly grew up in Peachtree, Georgia, in her lesbian moms' hardware store, in the shadow of the town's prestigious and expensive art college, PICA. Every since she can remember, she's wanted to attend PICA- despite the fact that her best friend dropped out last year and says the school chews people up and spits them out. But Molly got a full ride scholarship, so her first semester should be a breeze, right? No! Because when she shows up to orientation, no one can find her scholarship or even her registration. It turns Molly will have to pay for her first year after all; she takes out some dodgy loans and scours the financial aid booklets for any other scholarship she can apply for. It turns out, if she can scrape up a full team of softball players... and they compete against other college teams in the same division... and they win at least one game over the course of the semester... the whole team gets a free tuition! Is it possible to win one game with a bunch of big-ego, burned-out, athletically-challenged artists? I loved the energy of this story, with many well-informed digs at art school culture and hypocrisy. The team has great chemistry and the art style is full of action, physical humor, and delightfully expressive cartooning.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: DECEMBER 2023

what's up gamers!!!! 2023 is over, and before I can make a post reflecting on every book I read I need to talk specifically about what I was reading in December. I was lucky enough to end the year coming out of a pretty dire depressive fug, and I celebrated by going buckwild reading as much as possible and placing so many holds at the local library that I will, probably, come to regret any day now. such is the price of being in love with life again, I guess!

let's talk about it!!!

what I read:

Buffalo is the New Buffalo (Chelsea Vowel, 2022) - a collection of Métis speculative fiction short stories. Vowel's stories didn't always quite land for me, feeling as if they would benefit from another round or two of revisions and a bit of elaboration, but even when they fell a little flat the concepts were promising. I especially adored the story "Michif Man," in which a mid-twentieth century Métis man is gored by a radioactive buffalo and develops strange powers that he uses to defend his community, told through the fascinating framing device of a 21st century scholar's speech making a case for Michif Man's existence. I also really liked the closing story, "Unsettled," which felt like really cool old school sci-fi: five clashing characters alone burdened with the responsibility of tending to the rest of humanity frozen in stasis, with each character serving as a mouthpiece for a vastly different perspective and set of values about their Indigenous identity. hit or miss collection for me, but the hits hit much harder than the misses missed.

The Bandit Queens (Parini Schroff, 2023) - this book was genuinely so so hard to put down!!! the story follows a group of women in a small Indian village as they decide to start solving problems by murdering their husbands, turning to Geeta - whose widely believed to have killed her own husband years ago - for advice. the only problem is that Geeta didn't kill him, he just walked out on her. and now she's caught in a RAPIDLY tangling web of murder, blackmail, and hidden motives among women she's never let herself get close to. it's a dark comedy, to be sure, but also surprisingly heartfelt, exploring the countless factors - gender, class, caste, religion, motherhood, beauty - that keep Geeta and the other women apart as well as the forces powerful enough to pull them together. it's a book about the power of friendship and also the power of going ape shit.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - a VERY different book from Bandit Queens on every level, but equally hard to put down! Braverman is something of a professional wilderness survivor, and decided to write a story about a similarly experienced young woman, Mara, signing up for a survival-themed reality show where everything goes wrong. one day the camera crew simply fails to show up, and everything shifts when the contestants are forced to shift from surviving for show to actually fighting for their lives. a book that's gross and tender in equal amounts; Braverman is a very good storyteller and I'm strongly looking forward to anything else she puts out.

Are You My Mother? (Alison Bechdel, 2012) - a gorgeously drawn and terrifyingly vulnerable graphic memoir. a spectacularly brave endeavor; while I would never discount the tremendous artistry of Bechdel's more well-known Fun Home, I cannot imagine the terror of writing something like this about my mother when she's still alive to read it. absolutely ruinous if you yourself have any remotely complicated feelings about your mother, I will tell you that much!!!!

The Heart Principle (Helen Hoang, 2021) - Helen Hoang is so good that I didn't even count this as my romance novel of the month; this was just a book that I sincerely wanted to read. apparently quite a few reviewers on goodreads whined about how this shouldn't qualify as a romance novel because it's too sad, to which I say those people are fucking wieners. Heart Principle gets heavy, sure, with protagonist Anna navigating the sudden illness and death of her elderly father, but at the same time she's finding happiness and new ways to be herself and having the best sex of her life with resident hottie Quan, who's been a gem of a supporting character in this series since Kiss Quotient. it gets sad as hell, for sure, but it's also a mature, touching, and sexy story of two people developing a bond that encourages them both to embrace life and grow together. also, hi, Anna finding out she's autistic is SUCH a source of joy and eventual self confidence for her and it's SO nice to read.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (ed. Jordan Peele, 2023) - listen. it's a very good short story collection, filled to the bursting with some of the best writers in the game. there are very few stinkers in the bunch, which is really impressive for a collection with so many stories. but. it very seldom felt properly... scary? spooky, creepy, mysterious, supernatural, sure. but I want to be scared!!!! fuck me up!!! Us got under my skin and scared me in a way that I still think about years later, and I was expecting something similar from an anthology edited by Jordan Peele. so on that note I would actually really strongly recommend this is you like being a little spooked but not terrified!

Kiss Her Once for Me (Alison Cochrun, 2022) - this one was the romance novel of the month, voted on by my patrons, and incidentally my patrons should go to prison. listen. this book sucks shit. god, this protagonist sucks. I know the point of this kind of story is for characters to start in a place where they're flawed and you want to see them improve as people, but Ellie is just so endlessly whiny that I don't want to see her improve, I want her to shut the fuck up and stop using her anxiety as an excuse to be wildly unpleasant to everyone else. the chemistry between the main characters was what I call the "because I said so" variety, by which I mean there was no chemistry despite the narrative insisting repeatedly that there definitely was. (incidentally, Ellie had way better chemistry with the man she was fake engaged to, meaning I was actually really rooting for the hetero option for once.) also Cochrun is apparently a huge swiftie and referenced Taylor Swift a truly unwell amount of times in this book. dismal all around.

Mammoths at the Gates (Nghi Vo, 2023) - Nghi Vo can do absolutely no wrong and is one of the authors whose new releases I will ALWAYS be showing up for. Mammoths at the Gates is the latest in the Singing Hills Cycle of novellas, and sees the cleric Chih leaving their quest for stories in order to return home to Singing Hills Abbey after years on the road. they're excited to be home, but nothing is as peaceful as they'd have hoped: an old friend has been promoted, straining their relationship, and a beloved mentor has died, creating a complication when their family come to lay claim to the body. it's a book about death in the best way, by which I mean it's very much a book about life, and I read it all in one delightful morning racing to the gentle shock of the ending.

what am I reading now?

God: A Biography (Jack Miles, 1995) - this is a book rec I scooped from Oh No Ross and Carrie and it is. such a weird reading experience, but I'm enjoying it! this God dude is nuts!

Masters of Death (Olivie Blake, 2018) - I'm not very far into this book yet, and I can't decide if the prose is fun or annoying. maybe both!

what's next: a list of books I have on hold

Patternmaster (Octavia Butler)

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price)

Piñata (Leopoldo Gout)

[richincolor]

We've got four titles on our radar for today! Which ones do you want to get your hands on?

Age 16 by Rosena Fung Annick Press

A powerful coming-of-age graphic novel about three generations of mothers and daughters passing down and rebelling against standards of gender, race, beauty, size, and worth, for fans of Mariko Tamaki. Sixteen-year-old Roz is preoccupied with normal teenage navigating high school friendships, worrying about college, and figuring out what to wear to prom. When her estranged Por Por abruptly arrives for a seemingly indefinite visit, the already delicate relationship between Roz and her mother is upended. With three generations under one roof, conflicts inevitably arise and long suppressed family secrets rise to the surface. Told in alternating perspectives, Age 16 shifts seamlessly between time and place, exploring how this pivotal year in adolescence affects three women in the same family, from Guangdong in 1954 to Hong Kong in 1972, and Toronto in 2000. Award-winning creator of Living with Viola Rosena Fung pulls from her own family history in her YA debut to give us an emotional and poignant story about how every generation is affected by those that came before and affect those that come after.

Not About a Boy by Myah Hollis Harper Teen

Euphoria meets Girl in Pieces in this coming-of-age story of a girl trying to put a grief-stricken past behind her, only to be startled by the discovery of a long-lost sister who puts into question everything she thought she knew. Amélie Cœur has never known what it truly means to be happy. She thought she’d found happiness once, in a love that ended in tragedy and nearly sent her over the edge. Now, at seventeen, Mel is beginning to piece her life back together. Under the supervision of Laurelle Child Services, the exclusive foster care agency that raised her, Mel is sober and living with a new family among Manhattan’s elite. It’s her last chance at adoption before she ages out of the system and she promised, this time, she’ll try. But a casual relationship with a boy is turning into something she never intended for it to be, causing small cracks in her carefully constructed walls. Then the sister she has no memory of contacts Mel, unearthing complicated feelings about the past and what could have been. As the anniversary of the worst day of her life approaches, Mel must weather the rising tides of grief and depression before she loses herself, and those close to her, all over again.

The Second Chance of Darius Logan by David F. Walker Scholastic Press

Darius Logan is far from a hero. Since his parents were killed, he has spent most of his life navigating foster homes and shelters, abandoned neighborhoods and decaying buildings. All Darius knows is survival. Life was hard enough, but now he finds himself being hunted by the police after a drug deal he never should have been involved in goes bad. And when they catch him, Darius is positive he will spend the rest of his life behind bars. But in place of a long prison sentence, Darius is handed an opportunity almost too good to be true: the chance to get away from his circumstances by joining the Second Chance program of the Super Justice Force, a league of people with special powers who strive to do good and protect the world from harm. Darius soon discovers a strength he never knew he possessed, but evil forces manifest and threaten to destroy everything he holds dear. Will Darius be able to save the world when he faces a deadly--and all too familiar--enemy? This incredibly powerful YA debut by Eisner award-winning author David F. Walker, dives into matters of social justice and identity, courage and second chances, in a world where heroes loom large and what seems ordinary is anything but.

We Don't Have Time for This by Brianna Craft Disney Hyperion

Lemonade Mouth meets climate change activism in this enemies-to-lovers YA romance. A tied election throws two rival teen activists together to lead their school’s environmental justice club, and they are taken by surprise when their clashes reveal deeper feelings hidden beneath their antagonism. What's more romantic than saving the earth? Two presidents. One club. A sizzling connection. Isa Brown wishes her life would slow down. She doesn’t want to leave for college. Not now that her dad finally gets to spend some time at home. Not now that she’s finally been in one place for longer than a year. But nothing lasts forever. With wildfires ravaging her community and a new natural gas pipeline threatening her dad’s job, the last thing Isa can do is relax. The school’s environmental justice club seems like a promising way to make real change. If only her annoying co-president Darius would stop being such a control freak. Darius Freeman can’t stop hustling. If he does, how will he beat the other honors kids to be valedictorian? How will he get into the top schools in the country? How will he launch his political career? No. Darius can’t stop, and the next step in his plan is leading the environmental justice club this year—putting on a policy summit and rounding out his college applications with a leadership role. But then Isa joins the club and becomes co-president. Is she the stumbling block on his road to success? As Isa and Darius clash over the best way to lead the environmental justice club, deeper feelings emerge. About what’s at stake for their communities if they can’t figure out how to work together. And about the sparks they feel between them. Will Darius and Isa figure out how to burn brightly together? Or will their flames leave nothing but ashes behind?

[bildad-the-shuhite-official]

Alternative Universe fic recs

Dusk by snae_b M, 800 words, sci-fi au, human au, drugs, soldier crowley, one night stand, drugs There's a station between worlds where you can enjoy one last night before shipping out to fight someone else's war.

Snake Eyes by Lucy_Ferrier G, 3k, blind!Crowley, Aziracrow through the ages, bad communication Crowley has snake eyes. They look like snake eyes. They function like snake eyes. The thing is snake eyes aren't all that good for seeing with. He doesn't really seem to let it stop him from doing what he wants.

Part of a series:  InfraRed

Unaching Scars (Which I Should Hide) by Pearl09 G, 7.8k, soulmate AU, soulmate marks, angst with happy ending Soulmates seemed like a good idea at first, to the angels. If people share the same scars as their soulmate, there's no mistaking they are supposed to be with each other. But when one of their own suddenly has the same scars that mark a demon, it's like their greatest fears have been realized. Aziraphale is sent to Earth as an outcast, hoping one day he'll meet his soulmate, even if Heaven wouldn't like it. But when the same being keeps rescuing him and hanging out for 6000 years… it's hard not to fall in love.

Gravity by kaeltale T, 13k, fallen!Aziraphale, fluff, hurt/comfort, religious trauma, ineffable gender Falling starts with a question, and Crowley has fallen twice. The first time he asked himself, “Can I choose a different path?” The second time, he stood under the wing of a flustered angel, and thought, “Can I keep you?”

Part of a series: - Gravity: Fallen Angels

How My Light is Spent by Azira_Amane E, 19k, blind!crowley, disability, coffee shop au, happy ending, hook ups, fluff, body worship, chubby aziraphale, human AU Navigating the dating world when you can't see it can be tricky. For Crowley, that was never a problem; he's usually too busy to contemplate a relationship. The same goes for Aziraphale, though he doesn't have Crowley's excuse - he just isn't really all that much into people as a whole. One chance meeting on Crowley's usual route home changes all that.

I See You by doorwaytoparadiseE, 24k, Crowley is Medusa, ancient greece, greek mythology, friends to lovers, forbidden love, first kiss, first time, skippable smut Aziraphale didn’t know what he was, a mess of snakes and scales and claws and fangs, hidden beneath heavy fabric, deadly gaze tucked away when he spent time in the city. Aziraphale didn’t know, had never seen his face, and had befriended him anyway, always delighted when they met up. Crowley nearly chokes, despair rising like floodwaters in his lungs. Aziraphale is here to kill him. He can’t hurt Aziraphale.

Along the Changing Tide by NaroMoreau E, 53k, Human AU, summer romance, a hell lot of smut, fluff, night walks Aziraphale and Crowley meet at Anathema's beach house as guests for the summer. Neither of them think they're ready for a relationship but when they find themselves sharing a room, things will get complicated. A getting together, summer romance.

A Diamond Sky Above Titanic by SeaBlueEyes E, 58k, Titanic AU, Romance, Tragedy, Angst, Mind Rape, Crossover, pining The year is 1912, and one angel and one demon's lives are about to change forever as they embark on the fateful maiden voyage of the R.M.S. Titanic - and a relationship utterly forbidden by both Heaven and Hell.

I've got more fic recs for you guys. I really loved these so check them out and give them some love!

If you want a particular fic list, feel free to reach out to me.

Have a lovely day<3

[aspoonofsugar]

Hello! I hope your week is good to you, and if not that it gets better. It appears that you are intrigued by Lore Olympus. May I ask if you could do an analysis on Hades there, if you have the time. I love your thoughts on Persephone, and her duality. Also, have you ever had any thoughts on changing your header and icon to prevent from being thought as a bot?

Drink water and eat vegetables regularly. Drink milk also if you could.

Hi!

My week was good, thank you! I hope yours was fine, as well :)

So, I'll start from your last question about my icon and header :P I have, but never did out of laziness tbh. Probably I will one day, when I feel like it :)

Now, for your main question... yes, I enjoyed Lore Olympus's run! I am more of a casual reader, so I do not know the story or characters, as well as I do for other series. Still, it was a very fun read to have weekly:) I love the art and I think it had some genuinely great ideas and characters. I also think there was a drop in quality at a certain point and some pacing issues, but overall it managed to stay consistent with its main themes and delivered a satisfying conclusion to the two main characters' arc... All of this to say that I think the series gets way too much hate, which is honestly disproportionate and kinda absurd tbh... Like, there are series that screwed up more than LO ever did and get waaaaaaaaaaaaay less criticism. (Also, personally I feel strongly against the whole it isn't a good representation of the original myth argument...).

Anyway, this was all to say that yes, I can do a quick analysis of Hades. Or to better say, I can share my thoughts on him and what I think his role in the story is.

In general, Lore Olympus is a revisitation of Persephone and Hades's myth, which is extremely rich. So, it can be interpreted in many ways and a retelling can focus on many different aspects of the classical story... You can focus on Demeter's point of view and explore the story of a mother losing a child to an unjust society... You can have a Persephone trapped in the Underworld who is trying to escape from an abuser... You can even have an enemy to lovers' version of the myth... It all depends on what intrigues you the most about the story.

Now, obviously what intrigued LO's author is Persephone and Hades's complementary, which gets reflected in their designs, their personalities and their arcs.

Persephone is young, linked to spring (life) and feminine (hence why she is pink and has softer lines)

Hades is old, linked to the underworld (death) and masculine (hence why he is blue and has harsher lines)

The twist is that even if superficially Persephone and Hades seem to embody their gender stereotypes to a T, they are actually more complex. Persephone angers easily and can be impulsive and violent. Hades is sensitive and dreams of romance and belonging. They are both forced to comform to their gender stereotypes by society, which we soon discover having been created through a cycle of abuse. This violence is both generational (parents abusing children, who end up abusing their own children as a result of their own trauma) and domestic. Every King is able to rise to power only by using a more powerful Goddess and stealing their agency. As a result, Hades and Persephone's stories deal with these two kinds of abuse. And they do so in a mirrored way.

Initially:

Persephone's story focuses on her complicated relationship with Demeter, who is an abusive mother

Hades's story focuses on his complicated romantic story with Minthe, which is unhealthy

As the story goes on, though, the focus shifts:

Persephone faces Demeter and the two find closure. Meanwhile, though, she ends up as the object of sexual abuse by Apollo and she has to deal with the aftermath and the complicated feelings this violence leaves her with.

Hades and Minthe's relationship comes to an end (in a rather tumultuous way) and Hades can slowly address the root of all his complexes. That is his relationship with Cronos, his violent and abusive father.

Basically, by the end Persephone deals with romantic and sexual abuse. Her conflict with Apollo is linked to the mysoginy present in Olympian society. The mysoginy that made so all fertility goddesses before her were used and eventually discarded.

Hades's storyline instead deals with generational trauma and child abuse. He faces Cronos and realizes he doesn't have to be the kind of father Cronos was. That his father's abuse does not define him and that he can be happy with his new family.

This complementarity is made very obvious in the final arc, where Persephone deals with Apollo and Hades with Cronos. Not only that, but before facing their respective abusers both Persephone and Hades help another character:

Persephone resurrects Hera and frees the potential Zeus had been suffocating in their unhealthy relationship. She helps an older woman to find her own agency again.

Hades reassures his future daughter Melinoe that it is not her fault Cronos is abusing her. He saves his inner child by helping a small girl.

Finally, they do so by inverting traditional gender roles. On the one hand Persephone is given the chance to rage. The wrath she had been accumulating (which is literally embodied by Eris) gets to come out and she gets to humiliate Apollo and to walk away. On the other hand Hades gets to forgive Cronos. He frees himself from the hate and manages to move on.

When it comes to Hades, he is also throuhgtly foiled with Hera in this. In his final moments, Cronos is still projecting gender roles on both Hades and Hera. He projects Uranus on Hades and sees his son as an extension of his father. He instead sees Hera as a feminine presence that can understand, empathize and ultimately heal him. Well, it turns out he got them both wrong. Hades is the one empathizing with him, he is the one who has tried to understand Cronos all along. Hera instead is the one who despises him and who chooses not to care nor to forgive him in the end. Cronos does not understand them, so he ultimately dies without empathy... That is because he asked it from the wrong person.

Anyway, after defeating their respective abusers, Persephone and Hades find each other again and they unite their powers. However, they do so in the opposite way all the other royal couples did. Hades is the one empowering Persephone and not the other way around. As a result, Persephone fixes the macrochosm by reliving all the other fertility goddesses. Hades instead plays a key role in the microchosm by assisting Persephone. This is even highlight by Persephone becoming a giant and Hades happily flying around her.

So, these are my general thoughts on the series, its main themes and Hades's meaning for the overal narrative.

Thank you for the ask!

[alloveydovey]

Dramas from this past month. I'm having such a hard time finishing things 😭

The Forbidden Marriage (rewatch) (kdrama) 9 ⭐️

A broken-hearted king imposes a seven-year ban on marriage, and after claiming to be able to channel the deceased crown princess, the FL ends up as one of his court ladies. Both the king and the officer assigned to protect her (the king's closest friend) end up developing an interest in her.

I love it so much that it became a comfort drama. I’m not into love triangles (who is?), but I looved every aspect of it. It’s a bit crazy how they go from extreme comedy to extreme drama, I’ll admit, but the actors deal with it really well. Romance is 11/10, the usual historical visuals are stunning, and the comedy had me laughing hard.

Love Me, Love my Voice (cdrama) 7.5

Nothing more soft and warm than watching these two characters fall in love. There are no obstacles here, just a doctor/voice actor wooing a senior student/singer/composer with the magic of cooking.

On the other side, because there are no complications, it gets boring. The characters get together way too soon for a drama where nothing happens. Luckily the second couple is as entertaining (if not more) as the leads. So, the main reason I continued watching, honestly, was because of them.

Secret Playlist (kdrama) 7

Cute 8 episode drama about an internet music composer and an idol who join forces to create music. Romance was a bit mid, but the songs were cute as hell, and so were the leads.

And Yet, You Are So Sweet (jmovie) 7

This was adorable af. A little silly (as usual with school love) but I liked the vibes. Girl confesses to her crush, he turns her down harshly and popular boy offers himself as a replacement for the crush. They both start a game where he basically lends himself to her so she can have a fake crush on him and forget about the other guy, except he obviously has feelings for her and she starts having real feelings for him as well. It’s a weird premise, but it gave out a lot of cute moments.

D.P. Season 2 (kdrama) 10

I’ve never watched a season 2 from a drama, and from what I’ve gathered, most of them usually disappoint or are good but don’t come close to the first season. Well, for me, this one was not the case at all. It just felt like a continuation of the first part. I'd say I even enjoyed this one more. Also, I miss theeeeem.

Sixteen Shoukougun (jdrama) 7.5

Okay, so basically, a fuckboy with mommy issues wants to get in between a "tomboy" girl who is known among girls as a prince and her best friend, a girl suffering from severe PTSD. He initially tries to go for the PTSD one, but soon realizes that her friendship with the "tomboy" girl is a little... special. After a few interactions, though, he begins to actually like the "tomboy" girl. In between all this, a sensible boy who is deemed "feminine" is thrown into the mix.

I'll be honest, I went into this one thinking it'd be gl but got disappointed it wasn't the case. At the same time, I actually enjoyed tomboy and fuckboy's relationship too. It's all a bit crazy, especially the friendship between the girls, but I was low-key into it. Fuckboy redeems himself, so I was okay with it, I guess? I don't know, jdramas are extreme, man. What I liked a lot about this one (apart from the sick intro that goes really hard) was how they showed the characters' feelings and the overall theme of just being 16 and growing up around prejudice, abandonment, and liking someone regardless of gender.

Our Secret Diary (jmovie) 8.5

Girl finds a love confession note on her classroom desk from the popular guy in school. Confused about it, she decides to answer him and soon begins exchanging secret notes until she realizes that the note was actually meant for her best friend.

This cute little school movie was very cliché but absolutely perfect.

I am Not a Robot (kdrama) 8/8.5

Here's to me never adding this one to my list because I was not into robots and stuff like that at all, and then completely ignoring my watchlist and going for it since I've read it's very cute.

The comments were right. The storyline is a bit wack and unreliable buuuut, as usual, the main leads make up for it with good acting and adorable scenes.

I'm adding these ones even though I didn't really finish them he ⬇️

The Matchmakers (kdrama) 8/8.5, because it's actually good, just a bit heavy.

Another comedy with Rowoon, sign me up. This one took me a while to get into because even though it was clever, the comedy was really good, and the mockumentary style rocked, there were just too many politics in it for me to fully dive into. I’d get lost and bored at times. It picked up after episode 5, though, and by episode 7, it was definitely more fun. It's more entertaining when they focus on the leads and the ladies they are supposed to set up. I still haven't finished it yet because... I don't know. It is a kind of slow drama, and I don't think I fully get what's going on with the murder and politics.

I May Love You (cdrama) 6.5

Oof. I have so many opinions about this one. ML asks FL to help him woo her best friend not knowing that FL has been in love with him for the past four years. FL fails to help him (on purpose lol) and after spending some meaningful moments together decides to confess in what I like to call the lousiest confession ever. ML rejects her but regrets it later on.

I'm always a girls girl, but here... FL was testing me. The ML spends most of the drama groveling because the FL is mad and upset he asked her for help wooing her friend and then rejected her (also rejected her book project which is possibly the worst thing he did) But the thing is, ML didn't even know FL liked him when he asked for help in the first place, and I believe he had every right to reject her after she told him she liked him because he was rich and handsome. Like?? Who confesses like that? And that's basically the whole drama. I don't know why they thought it'd be cute for the FL to have a wall full of his pictures and then forcefully kiss him. Truly not a good-written character.

A Good Day to Be a Dog (kdrama) 8

I'm gonna finish this, I swear. The whole girl turns into a dog and boy has to kiss her in dog form to break the spell is a bit... weird. Buuut aside from that, these characters and their interactions are just the cutest. It works well because Park Gyu Young is amazing with comedy and her chemistry with Eun Woo is perfect.

Now, the past lives part of the story? A bit too much meh. Some aspects are interesting (the whole story of the mountain spirit and the lady. I thought I'd die of boredom, but they actually made it cute and sad lol). The revenge thing? Boring and so over it. Still gotta watch the last four episodes.

[beetlebethwrites]

I think most of the concern about Matt is coming from people not wanting to be "competing" with Eve for Matt's affection, or from people not wanting to get into a relationship with him knowing he still has feelings for someone else, which is understandable, after all, nobody wants to be in a relationship while feeling like they're the 2nd best, 2nd option, or just... rebound.

But I do think that concern is a bit... too much. If Matt was to never get over Eve or to never like us as much as he does her, then he wouldn't even be a romance option, correct? Our relationship with him would be rendered meaningless even before it started, which I don't believe is the case here. I think it's too early to assume how the story is going to go and how Matt feels about us vs Eve, and I trust your writing skills will make our relationship with him feel just as special. I cannot wait to see how this story goes and how Matt deals with his feelings.

Also, I'm very interested in how his romance route is going to change depending on our sex/gender. That's always a very complex yet complicated story to tell, but extremely important nonetheless.

My concern is that because of this Matt stuff, even more people are going to decide that they don't like Eve when in the story she's moved right on.

I don't want to spoil her arc and where I'm intending to go with her more than I have done in the past but Eve had 0 intention of competing with the MC for Matt, she's got her own shit going on.

It might be slightly more of a concern for those playing non-female MCs as there's likely to be a bit of a 'what I could have had' mentality from Matt but that's because he needs to sort himself out. And he will get there.

[ruushes]

Would love to hear your Zevran thoughts <3

original and ultimate babygirl 🥺

first impression: so i actually knew he was gay romanceable before starting origins and went in with the intention of gay romancing him pretty much solely bc i thought it was cool you could be gay in a video game. i didn't really know much else about him going into it, so his intro was like, holy shit i'm in love with him 😂😂 and i only liked him more and more as the game went on, I’ll admit I took a lot of his humor and bravado at face value at first and the depth of character that unfolded was unexpected and really cool

impression now: it might seem like i love him a normal and reasonable amount given that i don't draw or post about him that often but that's just bc the more i like something the less and less i talk about it out of embarrassment 😅

favorite moment: so so so hard to choose 😭😭 maybe the dialogue after you kill taliesin if you push him to make the decision of what he'll do next himself:

cautiously testing unfamiliar agency.... the look for validation... 🥺

idea for a story: gestures vaguely at the complete origins novelization and chronicle of whatever weird thing he and ailill have going on that exists perfectly in my mind and materially in unconnected 500-word scraps of dialogue that don't even amount to anything you could call a wip 🤦‍♂️i think the last thing i worked on was a bit about how on the morning after zev's recruited he has another chance to finish the assassination and kind of commits to the idea of staying instead

unpopular opinion: i think understandably and naturally people tend to focus on positives when making fan material (i do it too like 90% of my sketches are cutesy shipping art lol) but i'd also like to see more of him being flawed? like i feel like a big part of the appeal of him as a character is the 'healing from trauma and starting anew' theme, and healing is so difficult and messy and nonlinear, not something that gets resolved by falling in love over the course of like nine months, you know? but i don't really fault people for not exploring that, it's just something i'd be interested to see more of (':

favorite relationship: zevwarden naturally😌 especially in the context of wardens with a similar desire to die, where they can sort of figure out how to want to live again together

favorite headcanon: i've been poking around in the toolset and looking at the differences between the m and f romances and i think there's a case to be made for a reading where there's an element of internalized homophobia and/or trauma impacting how he looks at relationships with men that goes beyond generally preferring women. his gendered dialog with men tends to be more physical than emotional, there are instances where suggestive gendered dialog alludes to violence with m wardens and not f, he makes some skeptical comments abt the idea of being in a relationship with a man. i don't have evidence at hand and i certainly don't think everyone Should think this way or anything, i just find it interesting to think about preferences and how they can be impacted by experience in the context of being bi, and how it could both complicate and enrich an mwarden relationship

[undyingmedium]

🥀 romance headcanons

Stolen from: @dxnse-macabre Hi~ Tagging: @steel-and-fire @witches-and-weirdos @aquatic-hybrid @deepseawarlock @deaddoveadventures @sanguine-law @windwithinmyveins and whoever else wants to do this!

name: Anika Fuhe

nickname: Someone called her Ani before

gender: Female

romantic orientation: Bisexual

preferred pet names: Darling, dearest, sweetheart

relationship status: single

opinion on true love: *Insert Harleep laugh here* "Love. What a sweet poison, and what a trap it can be. Love among family is the only one that never got snuffed out before to me; one I never got betrayed for. I tried friendships, I tried romance, more or less deep. It never lasts, and sometimes it leaves void behind when it goes. It was also my fault, sure; but not only mine. So, does true love exist, really? I have my doubts, and I certainly don't believe in it. But alas, everyone can have their own honeyed opinion about it."

opinion on love at first sight: "Oh dear, that's not love. That's attraction, and it's usually the surface cover for the call of flesh!"

how ‘romantic’ are they?: Despite her bad experiences and twisted opinions, she's actually pretty romantic. She likes to make those moments special, she likes to leave marks that her partner won't forget - and hopefully stay marked herself. Some old memories still make her sigh, and she will pursue romanticism even in lesser occasions. She can never know if she's going to have another chance at playing like that again.

ideal physical traits: Clean, lively eyes, intriguing smiles. Bonus points for stronger builds than hers and taller people, so that they can carry her around. Extra bonus points for wings, horns and exotic ancestries - from nephilims to genasi (to eclysians *COUGH*) - as long as they keep mostly humanoid traits, or at least visages. Extra extra bonus points for long hair.

ideal personality traits: Discreet when it counts, otherwise outgoing, confident, ambitious - even arrogance can be interesting to a degree. But to her? Protective, respectful, reliable, trustworthy, patient. There has to be a strong chemistry, or she won't budge beyond the physical benefits.

unattractive physical traits: Dirty/smelly, too disproportioned builds, extreme wrinkles or moles, small and inexpressive eyes. She's not against the undead, but rotting bodies are a no-no for multiple reasons. There would have to be an exceptional relationship with someone that is a zombie or a skeletal someone for things to work despite that.

unattractive personality traits: Too self-centered or narcissistic, too shy or insecure, too proud. They can go kiss a mirror.

ideal date: Dinner in quiet, private places; candlelit rooms with soft pillows and some exotic incense burning; strolls through the night, out in the midst of nature or isolated town neighborhoods - somewhere where not even ghosts may reach her and her partner. Secrecy and intimacy give her enough space to bloom, to not worry about the rest of the world and make herself a little more vulnerable. Assuming it's worth it.

do they have a type?: Not really, but she's got a strong tendency towards women.

average relationship length: I doubt her relationships ever even reached six months... Maybe one or two at max?

preferred non-sexual intimacy: Hand holding, complicit looks, occasional pecks and hugs. Nothing too flashy, but meaningful nonetheless.

opinion of public affection: It's okay as long as it's not something exaggerated. Too much sugar, involving her or other couples, and she may start to spit acid.

past relationships?: Her first was with an aviari woman, Xilla, but it was obviously not meant to last due to her strong tie to her nomad tribe and Anika's mission leading her elsewhere. Ferenir was her second and last; they had something she believed in more, but complications arose pretty quickly, then he decided to leave her and she lost faith in others on a much deeper level.

[quadrantbot]

Jake and Dirkjake and other mildly related tangents. (Additional paragraph on alpha kid romance, because I guess that was necessary to me.)

Heads up this post is not positive about Dirkjake like, at all. I'm not saying you can't like it or do anything with it, I am just sharing my own personal opinion and analysis on it. And Jake in general. (I'm not going to tag with Dirkjake because that's a dick move, but I'm not going to intentionally avoid saying it in NON tag text either. Scroll on if you don't like Dirkjake hate. Okay? Cool.) 

Jake is one of those characters that fandom wise, is super mischaracterized. This includes the mischaracterizations in postcanon as well, which also at least to some degree includes Pesterquest. It's confusing to me for several reasons why so many major changes were made to Jake outside of the main comic, but considering how most of the fans do not seem to take him seriously and the writing team for the dubiously canon content seem to lump his existence purely in with Dirk, it's a little understandable.

Jake isn't really too complicated of a character when it comes to likes, dislikes, motivations and issues. Jake likes his movies, the IDEA of adventure, and he loves blue ladies. He doesn't really care for romance at any major point in the story, especially considering his entire friend group had feelings for him, and when it comes down to actual adventures, actual conflict, he's freaked out. Jake has a great deal of care for his friends, even despite the weird romance shit occuring in the group, and his main issue when it comes to that friend group is a lack of communication from everyone involved. Jake "wants" to be important, Jake "wants" to be a hero, Jake "wants" to be a brave adventurer, but these "wants" don't ever appear to reflect in his actions, even so far as contradicting them, leading to conflict between his supposed wants, and what he actually seems to go for. Jake is often seen as a "himbo" by the fandom, but even that is not really all that accurate. Jake isn't stupid. Jake does have some issues when it comes to reading the room, but even when he DOESN'T, it's usually picked up whenever he's in a weird situation that he doesn't want to be in, which can be seen in his conversation with Jane about her romantic feelings for him, or the proposed lack thereof. Should be pages 4587-4593, but I'll screenshot the notable parts I'll be referencing and put them below. 

Jake didn't really seem very convinced when Jane said she DIDN'T have feelings for him, but he just continued along with the conversation, expressing his relief because even if she was lying, he didn't really want to face that sort of thing head on. Jake then goes onto explain the weird shit with Dirk and doesn't exactly seem very interested in him either, but seeing as Jane supposedly has no interest in him, there's a weird sort of obligation going on where he feels he HAS to just let this happen, which doesn't really seem like the common fandom idea that he was like, head over heels for Dirk. There's a vague mention of jokes from "years ago" where they could like each other if Dirk was a girl, but seeing as these are 15 year olds, "years ago" is a pretty vague period of time AND teenagers will say shit like that all of the time! Mostly younger ones, yes, but I think a good portion of teenagers have joked about having feelings for/WOULD have feelings for someone if they were a gal or a guy. Nothing when it came to Jake's behavior was intentionaly shitty or leading Dirk on or anything, because Jake can't always be aware of literally everyone's feelings for him? 

On a vaguely related tangent, I used to be large on the "bi Jake" being canon thing, but just taking the bare minimum look into some of this just makes it seem like he's got no interest in men at all, and his interest in women appears to be from both a jealousy/almost gender envy standpoint (in the way he seems to WANT to be like them,) and a genuine attraction, especially when considering his blue ladies and more specifically, Aranea. (I do not like Aranea/Jake for the record, and if somehow you guys who enjoy that pairing (or any pairing with alpha trolls/anyone who isn't an alphatroll, I'm looking at you Meenkat, Vrismeen and other freaks,) have made it this far, PROSHITS GET OUT!! I am a normal consumer of darkfic not a FREAK!!) I think I can understand those who read Jake as not aromantic, just uninterested in romance with his current issues, but I also thoroughly enjoy reading Jake as arospec as someone who is both arospec AND someone with several arospec friends who like the reading just as much, Jake never seems to take a genuine interest in relationships with anyone, only considering one with Jane or Dirk because they're his friends, and if he's good friends with them, they MUST be good partner options for him. While it's true there can be a good basis on friendship, I don't think the two major Jake ""romance options"" are all that fit even with the basis of friendship, seeing as neither Jane nor Dirk communicate well, and Jake really doesn't either. 

The thing about the base alpha kids (excluding cherubs and any of Dirk's robots, whic includes Lil Hal, despite being a copy of his brain,) is that when it comes to the most prominent "proposed" canon pairings, Dirkjake, Janejake, Dirkroxy, it just seems they only exist because those four are each others only options romantically. Jane likes Jake, so Roxy feels like Dirk is the only option. Dirk, though unlabelled, only has a canon interest in men, so Jake appears to be the only option. Jane seems to like Jake to a degree, but I think that primarily stems from the fact that Jake is extremely kind and caring to all his friends, so she really does see him as HER only option as well. Again, I do think some of the base alpha kids pairings are alright, but that mostly relies on things AFTER the trickster mode section completely explodes all over everyone and the conflicts reach a boiling point. Dirk and Jane make up, and I do think there's something good that could be said about some form of moiraillegiance between the two, because even despite their issues with each other prior to the Dirkjake breakup, they still do care about each other. I also like Jakeroxy as a pairing option, though mostly in a queerplatonic sense, because when Roxy took a step back from any form of romantic interest in Jake because of Jane and later Dirk, Roxy is more capable of having some form of bond with Jake that wouldn't automatically feel like a necessarily romantic thing, and I think their shared caring for their friends and each other could make them closer. The thing about the base proposed pairings between the alpha kids is that, at least in the case of Dirkjake, it's overglorified by the fandom, even if there are ""nuanced"" readings of them. 

This isn't to say that you can't interpret the text however you want, but when it comes to the bare minimum in canon Dirkjake doesn't really work at all. Not as a fluffy pairing, and not as a strange, codependent teenage relationship where they're mutually obsessed with each other and tearing each other apart. Jake has no romantic interest in Dirk. Jake also has a completely reasonable extra reason why, even if he DID have feelings for Dirk, which, according to canon, he doesn't really, they still wouldn't be good together. I definitely understand the value in exploring negative relationships via fictional means, but when it comes to Dirkjake, their conflict isn't complicated, or nuanced, or even really that complex to understand. Dirk didn't know how to properly go through with his feelings for Jake, so he did fucked up shit, and Lil Hal did fucked up shit, and it very easily came crashing down on him. Even without every strange and fucked up thing Dirk and Lil Hal did towards Jake in order to express those feelings, the biggest point of conflict, the decapitated head kiss in front of the volcano, was definitely enough to state that there's nothing really all that great between them, and there's nothing to take from it that really requires or calls for an exploration of the fucked up side of their relationship, because every way I've seen that handled, it's just as full of mischaracterization as fluffy Dirkjake is. I can understand the excitement at "canon gay representation," but at the end of the day, all Dirkjake really is is a one sided relationship between Dirk and a guy who doesn't have any feelings for him outside of platonic ones, a guy who felt an obligation to be with Dirk just because Dirk was his friend. Could that be explored in an interesting and angsty way? Definitely, but that is a Dirkjake interpretation I've seen the least of, if any at all, and that's literally what's set up canonically! 

"But Ro, what about postcanon?" There's a lot to be said about postcanon, and a variety of things that make any form of romantic feelings on Jake's end completely unbelievable to me. For starters, Ult Dirk is in control of postcanon, Alt Calliope is also, to some degree, but anything that may or may not ""confirm"" romantic feelings on Jake's end is being told to us by two unreliable narrators. But also, postcanon is stupid, existed to get Hussie out of debt, and overall was a piece of garbage that didn't do anything for canon whatsoever. So I don't consider it canon. At all. But if you do, the unreliable narrator argument above is for you. 

[amethystunicorn2727]

Hey, guys! I figured it was time I showed you more about Talulah! The photo above is an old design, but I figured it would still show the relationship between Talulah and Rory. Also, I would like to be known that Rory’s design was very complicated for me, but I promise I’m learning to draw different hair textures! I originally wanted to make a proper reference sheet, but there ended being too much to fit. So with that known, here’s some things to know about Talulah! (By the way, so everyone is aware of the timeline, this takes place before and during season two of Unicorn Academy!)

Name - Talulah Adeline Fortuna Fairchild

Gender - Female

Sexuality - Straight Ally

Age - 14

Birthday - June 12, 2009

Personality - Kind, Compassionate, Mature, Guarded, Inquisitive, Loyal, Fierce

Likes - Unicorn/Horseback riding, Flying, Snow, Baking, Strawberries, French toast, Romance, Family, Friendship, Fluffly/Soft things, Holidays, Aerial gymnastics

Dislikes - Ravenzella, Lazul, Grim magic, Bullies, Coconut milk, Most teas (Skyberry tea is an exception)

Fears - Fluffhoppers, Being abandoned, Thunder and lightning (She eventually gets over it)

Talulah is the daughter of the royal family of Eqeoneian, a kingdom that’s shut itself off from the world after…an incident that had happened decades ago. Born during the worst period of her kingdom’s economic crisis, Talulah found herself not getting any attention from her parents, since they spent all their time trying to bring the kingdom back to a stable economy. Talulah’s brothers also joined their parents in fixing the kingdom, and with a nineteen year age difference, Talulah didn’t have much she could bond with her brothers over to begin with. Talulah received her invitation to Unicorn Academy on her balcony when she was heading to bed, and without any delay, she packed her things and set off for her new school. This was what Talulah had wanted for so long, a chance to start a new life.

Knowing the kingdom would find out at some point that she had disappeared, Talulah didn’t tell anyone at Unicorn Academy that she didn’t technically have her parents’ permission to leave Eqeoneian. This resulted in her closing herself off from the rest of her dorm mates in Sapphires, but Rory was able to break her out of her shell. Seeing that she doesn’t exactly know how to have fun, Rory takes Talulah under his wing and “adopts” her as his honorary little sister. Although confused and nervous about it, Talulah eventually started getting used to her new life, and she enjoyed every moment she spent with her new brother. But when she learns about something going on in Eqeoneian, Talulah goes back to save the one person she considered her family from her old home.

[aworldforastage]

A second subjective list of favorite danmei’s I read in 2023

ABO

Miraculous Love (aka "Evil Love Appears") :: 邪门的爱情出现了 by 丧心病狂的瓜皮

Why Is It Possible For This Type Of A To Also Have An O? :: 为什么这种A也能有O by 图南鲸

老婆是顶级Alpha，我该怎么办 by 海藻大王

Entertainment Industry

内娱第一花瓶 by 三三娘

Concealed and Blended: Fendai :: 粉黛 by 七世有幸

Flower Vase :: 花瓶 by 困倚危楼

可一可再 by 反舌鸟

Modern (Miscellaneous)

Poison of the Heart :: 心毒 初禾

Surrender (Book 1) :: 臣服 I by 墨奈何/墨青城

交易沦陷 by 在下小神j

Historical

Fei Ping Ying Qiang :: 妃嫔媵嫱 by 七月侯

穿成苏培盛了 by 一渡清河

九千岁[重生] by 绣生

ABO Novels

Miraculous Love :: 邪门的爱情出现了 by 丧心病狂的瓜皮

[ABO (A/O), romance, sexual awakening, reconciliation] -- This is one of those novels that leverage the ABO setting to explore topics like relationships, marriage, and sexuality. Late-bloomer Omega Fu Xiaoyu and recent divorcee Alpha Xu Jiale connect and build a relationship based on their intense sexual chemistry and attraction. Sex allows Fu Xiaoyu to feel loved, desirable, and unashamed of his own sexuality for the first time, but this new relationship forces Xu Jiale to confront his own misconceptions about marriage as well as the difficult reality of parenting a young child after divorce. Every Omega in this story has complicated histories and attitudes toward relationships because of society's prejudice against their gender, and every major relationship in this novel involves a divorcee, a cheater, or both. But life still goes on for them, after they learn, grow, make amends, and heal.

Why Is It Possible For This Type Of A To Also Have An O? :: 为什么这种A也能有O by 图南鲸

[ABO (A/O), transmigration, abuse recovery, political activism] -- This novel uses the ABO setting to explore gender-based oppression. A surgeon transmigrates to an ABO universe, into the body of a horribly abusive Alpha, whose partner is terrified but powerless in their oppressive society. They work hard to help each other heal from deep-seated trauma, and join the work of advocates for Omega's rights. This is the most political danmei I have ever read, that shows civil disobedience and structural changes can be good and necessary. The advocates network, organize, protest, and they get threats and pushbacks. Prejudice is systemic, generational, and almost normalized in society, and it takes a massive wave of disruptive protests to finally bring about rudimentary legislative protections for Omega. It comes too late for many and is far from any semblance of equality, but it's hope and a start.

老婆是顶级Alpha，我该怎么办 by 海藻大王

(Title roughly translates to "My Wife is a top-level Alpha, What should I do?")

[ABO (A/A), "rebirth", space/interstellar, mecha, college, political conspiracies] -- Now, for an ABO novel that just wants to have fun as a OP Mary-Sue sci-fi-ish Young-Adult Action-Adventure. The protagonist is a super-soldier reborn to the early days of his military career with skills, knowledge, and an AI assistant from the future. The love interest is a prince who is rich enough to buy entire planets. Together they become the most popular power couple at the military academy, and work together to foil a conspiracy that targets talented Alphas. They get fake-married, and later discover they are each other's secret online crush. It has plenty of humor, a cute "college" romance, and the kind of dramatic "cool" characters my teenage self would could only dream of in a wish-fulfillment fic. Save it for one of those days when you just want to relax and revel in the joy of ridiculously attractive and competent teenagers who are killing assassins, saving the empire, and acing their exams!

Actors and Celebrities

内娱第一花瓶 by 三三娘

(Title roughly tra. nslates to "Top Flower Vase of the Mainland Entertainment Industry")

[entertainment industry, film-making, reconciliation, elite society ]-- Most entertainment industry novels focus on the fun parts of glamour and fame, but this story puts the focus on the creative work, with a main couple that has marvelous chemistry as great artists who inspire each other. Over the 900K words of this novel, they meet, fall in love, bond over film-making, break up, and later reconcile. It's one of those rare stories where the shou has to chase the gong after breaking up, and you can sympathize with the hurt on both sides while understanding that no one is intentionally being scummy. The novel really goes into the details of film-making and the entertainment industry -- the styles and visions of the directors, the practice and preparation of the actors, the logistics and finances of running a crew, and the strategic calculations to manipulate the media narrative and public discourse.

I have a love-hate relationship with this novel because of some of its narrative choices. Some arcs seem to just fawn over the "wisdom" and "classiness" of the ultra-rich, and conflate privilege with virtue. (The gong, whose family of casino owners once helped him pay off hundreds of millions in gambling debt, is the one making an awarding-winning movie about a regular person succumbing to gambling addiction ... ) But to be fair, I'm holding this novel to a higher standard than a typical danmei because of how good it is and how much I like it.

Concealed and Blended: Fendai :: 粉黛 by 七世有幸

[entertainment industry, actor x makeup artist] -- This is also a story about two artists who inspire and help each other develop their crafts, but a much shorter and lighter take. The gong is a makeup artist, who considers himself straight but cross-dresses as a branding gimmick to advance his career. The shou is a retired E-sports player-turned-idol actor, who is secretly gay and has no real passion for performance. The novel starts off with funny interactions between "straight pretending to be queer" vs "gay pretending to be straight." Later, they develop a deep bond after collaborating on a series of projects, and help each other discover their true career aspirations. Despite being celebrities, the main character feel like normal people because we see them learning and practicing their professional skills. Fame is a fickle and cruel game that they must play in their profession, but does not define who they are.

Flower Vase :: 花瓶 by 困倚危楼

[entertainment industry, contract relationship, scum gong crematorium, reconciliation] -- This story is a classic in the scum gong crematorium genre. Wealthy business man gong pays actor shou for a sexual relationship; the shou is secretly in love with the gong, who is pining after a "white moonlight". The shou is smart, resilient, knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it. The gong has already started falling for him, but he hasn't moved on from his "White moonlight". Their peaceful breakup mid-story is suffocating, because they both have feelings for each other, and they almost got it to work, but the feelings are just not quite right yet, so this relationship has to end before it festers into something truly unsalvageable. But don't stress too much, the "crematorium" is so friendly it almost feels like an kiddie obstacle course the shou has set up to help them transition into a better relationship -- didn't I mention he is a very smart guy who knows how to get what he wants?

可一可再 by 反舌鸟

(The title is a reference to an Eason Chan song. I can't find an official translation of the song title, but it roughly translates to "Once and Again")

[entertainment industry, rebirth in another body, reconciliation] -- Controversial actor Jiang Yu dies in a traffic accident, and returns in the body of a D-list Idol. It's very fun to follow a POV character like Jiang Yu, whose internal monologue is dripping with pettiness, insecurity, jealousy, and adamant insistence that he is *fine* with his hard-working and well-intention-ed nature always being misunderstood in bad faith. His love interest is his foil in this: an award-winning actor with an impeccable reputation and a unflappable personality. As the story explore their histories, relationships, and grief over Jiang Yu's death, it also deconstructs these initial perceptions. In this second life, Jiang Yu gets a more measured view of his relationships and artistic legacy, while his "perfect" boyfriend faces his own flaws and the critical mistakes he has made in their relationship. With this clarity and honesty, they rekindle their relationship, and Jiang Yu starts a new life and career.

Misc. Modern

Poison of the Heart :: 心毒 初禾

[mystery/police procedural, (sort of) social commentary] -- Instead of uncovering some mastermind criminal conspiracy, this police procedural is famous for its down-to-earth cases, so realistic it sounds like it could have been in the news. Most of the cases see normal people gradually lose their best selves after suffering excessively under systemic social issues like poverty, misogyny, and prejudice. Their misfortunes, emotions, and reactions feel very realistic and relatable. However, since the discrete cases do not build up to a coherent arc, they also don't do much to support the development of the main characters -- a detective and a cybersecurity expert; they are fine but I just don't find either of them or their slow-burn romance too interesting. (Their slacker co-worker who becomes more motivated in his career has a more memorable character arc imo.) Personally, I think this novel is a good read for the mysteries, but maybe not so much as a romance or character drama.

Surrender (Book 1) :: 臣服 I by 墨奈何/墨青城

[BDSM, power differences, mob/gang drama] -- Young businessman Xu Ye, who has only dabbled with BDSM, stumbles into one of the most skilled dom's in town, who is also a mob heir. This dom finally gives Xu Ye the experience he wants from BDSM. But as their chemistry in the playroom soars, their personal and professional relationship in the real word grows more complicated. I love that this story shows the communication and work that goes into building a relationship, albeit one within BDSM parameters. The story repeatedly emphasizes that both partners are equals outside of play (but this rule is sometimes broken by the main couple for "drama"). Although Xu Ye is a sub, he has more agency than most shou's I see in danmei. He is experienced with sex, knows what he wants and likes, and is fairly independent from Chu Ye professionally and personally. He feels like a reasonable adult who has chosen a relationship that brings him joy and pleasure.

交易沦陷 by 在下小神j

(Title roughly translates to "fallen in transaction")

[romance, (sort of) prostitution, family relationships, healing and forgiveness] -- This a Haitang story with lots of humour and sex, but also a surprise tear-jerker full of heart. An Li's life has been ruined by a criminal record, taking the fall for his cheating ex-wife so she can look after their ill daughter. While desperate to find work to support his young daughter's medical treatment, he is mistaken for a male escort by young CEO Xu Shaoqing. Xu Shaoqing is angered by An Li's borderline homophobic reaction to the incident, and pressures An Li to sleep with him for money. Xu Shaoqing himself is struggling with the distress his sexuality causes his homophobic and ailing father, who has sent him to conversion therapy and still pressures him to go on dates with women. An Li and Xu Shaoqing eventually form an unlikely connection, as they help each other process the hurt caused by the people they love, and salvage the good from those relationships.

Historical

Fei Ping Ying Qiang :: 妃嫔媵嫱 by 七月侯

[male concubine, imperial harem & court drama, age gap (initially 15 vs 20)] -- As an unfavored shu son, Xiao-Qi is "gifted" by his family to his brother-in-law, a prince who is known to like men. Though he has no choice in the matter, he eventually falls in love with the Prince, who has shown him more kindness than anyone else in his life. The prince (gong) has a "realistic" and gradual shift from accepting period-typical polygamy to wanting to build a life with the one partner who really loves him, but it's a messy situation because he has already married and sired children with multiple women, and his position really requires him to have an heir. However, Xiao-Qi learns a lot and grows up with the gong's help, and together they overcome political and social obstacles for Xiao-qi to be recognized as his partner.

穿成苏培盛了 by 一渡清河

(Title roughly translates to "Transmigrated as Su Peisheng", referring to the name given to Yongzheng Emperor's senior personal eunuch in the popular cdrama "Empresses in the Palace".)

[historical transmigration, Qing Dynasty/Kangxi Era, political intrigue, prince x (real) eunuch] -- Lovers of long, complex, character-driven political novels will probably enjoy this 2-million-words epic. It's not only a battle of wits, but also a examination of personal values and emotional priorities of many well-crafted characters who live in a complex political environment, including the largest and most active female cast I have ever seen in danmei. The protagonist shou is a transmigrator, and it shows mostly through him being very mature during his younger years, and having a sense of self-worth unexpected of slaves of that era. The gong is Fourth Prince Yinzhen (future Emperor Yongzheng), and he is married with children just like in history. The main couple have a bittersweet secret relationship, yet they love each other enough to be able to live with that imperfection. The plot seriously downplayed the darker implications of the shou' role as a eunuch and slave, but their idealized romance is a much-needed relief from the intense and tightly-paced political content, which is inspired by real history.

九千岁[重生] by 绣生

(The novel title literally translates to "Nine Thousand-Years-Old", which is a title occasionally given to excessively powerful eunuchs, comparing them to royals, like emperors who are said to live to "Ten thousand years".)

[ (eventual) "double rebirth", political intrigue, prince x (fake) eunuch] -- In his first life, Crown Prince Yin Chengyu is deposed after falling for political traps, and only returns to court after making a "indecent proposal" with powerful eunuch Xue Shu. Despite working together to help Yin Chengyu win the crown and govern the nation, their relationship remains complicated and contentious until Yin Chengyu's untimely death from illness and overwork. Waking up as his younger self, Yin Chengyu immediately puts a metaphorical leash on Xue Shu's neck while the latter is still young and impressionable. While they work to strengthen Yin Chengyu's political position, the prince also tries to come to terms with his feelings for Xue Shu across the two lifetimes. Xue Shu eventually recovers his memories of the first lifetime, and their second-chance romance gets a happy ending.

As a serious political novel, this story lacks depth and suspense, but as a feel-good "rebirth" novel, the plot feels a bit too slow and heavy. It doesn't stand out in either categories, but it feels unfair to completely ignore it, especially because it kept me company for weeks while I was struggling with a reading slump.