#that fuck rug is one of my favourite things I own lol

[theflagscene]

This is one of my favourite pictures of my dog, and yes, it’s because she fits perfect within the U on the rug by my front door.

[dufferpuffer]

I am re-reading OotP. I am so disappointed in Remus (it's ok he's still the loml and he could still get it).

Like this man constantly pulls the rug from under my feet. For one, he's so cute when he worries about Harry or comforts Molly for the 100th time in the book...or when he makes sure the kids are okay or sits with the werewolf at the hospital (although it was probably to avoid Molly's wrath lol).

But MAN, when Harry firecalls Sirius because he is so disgusted with his dad, Remus let me down.

P.618 "Then, Lupin sait quietly, 'I wouldn't like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen-'" EXCUSE ME WHAT?!?

Then Harry says "I'm fifteen!" Damn right he is and he is not nearly as vile as his dad was.

P.619 "'Was he playing with the Snitch?' said Lupin EAGERLY." My man is reminiscing of his teenage years watching James bully Snape. REMINISCING.

I struggle with this because I found "Snape's Worst Memory" very sad and painful to read and here it feels that, for a character who SEEMS to have so much empathy for others...makes me wonder how much of this is an act (both the laughing and being empathetic). I wonder if his reaction would have been the same had Sirius not been there? Remus is so fucking desperate to please. That's all he wants really, for people to like him. Sirius is one of his only friends left, so he was not going to start admonishing him in front of his godson, right?

Love you Remus but you suck man :( but i love you because you suck.

Both very tasty examples of Remus-isms. Thanks for sharing them. This man is a mess... his Lycanthropy is nothing compared to the small things he does that are unhealthy, mean and... Remus-y.

One of my favourites is when Harry is almost desperately 'joking' about how the Dursleys think of him, and Remus just keeps shrugging him off: Ch3 pg54

Lupin was sealing a letter addressed to the Dursleys. “Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.

It is such a small thing. Ultimately he is just telling Harry he has written to his guardians - which isn't bad of him, necessarily. If Moody was telling harry he wrote the letter i'd say 'wow he's being gentle and polite today'. He is just doing his job as an adult...

...But Remus KNOWS Harry. Harry isn't just some kid he is acting responsible for: he adores him. Harry is desperate for role models. He needs emotional support. But Remus just does the bare minimum. He gives him nothing. he keeps him, emotionally, at arms length.

When people say Lupin is a good dad to Harry - absolutely not. He was barely an uncle. He was a bit scared of Harry, I think.

As you pointed out - he adores his memories of the past, when he felt free and happy and supported, when he had friends by his side every day and they had fun together. Rose-tinted glasses. When he could believe that he was a good werewolf.

But Harry is so much fucking better then all of them. He puts them to SHAME. Remus doesn't want to have his pristine past poisoned by facing the fact he wasn't a 'good werewolf' at all. He was a bloody irresponsible one, not in a 'silly boys' way either. They acted terribly and he continues to act so now, as an adult.

He knows all this in his heart... but those memories are all he has.

He is stuck in that past, he hasn't really ever grown up. He even 'plays' professor - the cool, fun teacher everyone likes. Sirius? Sirius looks to the future, generally. "What can I do next?" He has his own childishness and trauma, but the past is the past and the future is controlled by the present.

Remus wants to sit and sulk in the past. If he had a penseive like Albus he would be drowning himself in it, day in and day out. it takes Tonks, Harry and a fucktonne of support to grow him up. Which is cool! Sometimes people need it, and its worth it in the end.

I don't think Remus' reaction would have changed much without Sirius there. Maybe he would have just been a little quieter, but I think his feelings would remain largely the same: They are good memories. Perhaps they didn't act the best, but they were only kids, right...? (pointedly ignoring the fact that other kids, like Harry, act so much better than they did without even trying.)

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

LOL, you're worse than market thieves.

These people have no self-awareness whatsoever. Also, if it was up to Sheng Hong, he would sweep all this under the rug so fast, Granny be damned.

***

LMAO, that's right, Minglan! Give them no face!

***

She is trying to save your life, you stupid bitch!

She has correctly assessed that Minglan is the one in charge here and that she has no intention of letting her walk out alive, so she is now playing 3D chess with everyone involved.

For all the airs she puts on, she's also almost as dumb as Wang Ruofu. It's just that her opponents so far have been small and weak and she got arrogant.

***

LMAO, Sheng Hong is so susceptible to flattery.

Minglan is disgusted!

***

LMAO 🤣🤣

"Why can't you just let us get away with murder because faaaaambily," he means.

Like Granny isn't the only family Minglan will acknowledge when push comes to shove.

***

OMG, Lord Kang is just waiting for you to give him an excuse to divorce her! He will be thanking you for it!

***

Oh, you poor idiot boy 😂

You, unfortunately, seem to have inherited a dearth of brain cells from your mother's side of the family.

***

I mean, sure, I can see that the mother does favour the shit sister, but honestly? Wang Ruofu poisoned a woman. Of her own will. It doesn't matter if she thought she would die or just be sick for a few days. This is an old woman whose quality of life she wanted to decrease just to grasp more power for herself.

And it's not just her, but also Aunt Kang, who seems to measure their mother's love in how willing she is to help them cover up a murder. Like, wtf? If my child were to murder someone, I would be absolutely devastated and unless it was something particularly heinous, I would still visit them in prison each week. But other than that, it would be, "Too bad, how sad. You did the crime, now you can do the time." And I am sure my family would be the same.

However, I do understand the angle here that they must protect the children since, apparently, all the mothers' wrongdoings would rub off on the kids and ruin their lives. Which is how both sides have ended up with so much leverage over each other. With that said, Wang Ruofu is also Minglan's legal mother but she doesn't seem worried, since she's best buddies with the royal family and also married to a supportive hubby who would have no fucks to give about her tarnished reputation.

***

LMFAO

And if it weren't for Minglan, she would have gotten her way, and long before things got to this point, too.

***

Yes, why are you here?

I think it's quite sad and also quite telling how I feel about Gu Tingye that he has been gone for a number of episodes now and I felt that the show was much better off without him. I really enjoyed Minglan on her own, kicking ass and taking names without him whining in the background.

On the contrary, in Monarch Industry, when Xiao Qi was sidelined for a couple of episodes because Awu had her own matters to take care of, I missed him every minute and felt the drama was barely watchable without him. And, indeed, the arc he came back with was SPECTACULAR, and one of my favourite things in that drama.

***

I am so unhappy with this.

Here we had Minglan with a major arc of her own, she was so spectacular, taking down people like a boss while also heavily pregnant. It was such powerful imagery! It was everything we had been building up towards (or so we thought). But no, they couldn't let her wrap this up on her own, at the very end they had to make her weak and small again, which is so out of character after everything we've seen from her so far, just so that the big, strong, husband-man can swoop in and protect her. I am just beyond disappointed 😕

***

LMAO, this liar.

He knows better than anyone that it's all just an act, which is why he married her 🤣🤣

Though, to be fair, Minglan is a genuinely good person 90% of the time, until you murder or try to murder someone close to her. At that point, she no longer cares whom she tortures and kills.

***

Oof, go off, Changbai!

They made the biggest mistake thinking he would protect Wang Ruofu, and by extension the rest of the murder squad.

***

OMG, THAT SLAP

Who would have thought granny had it in her?

***

You have got to love how these people feel entitled to dragging other people into their crimes just because of faaaaaaaambly, and not just any crime, but MURDER to boot. And not just any murder, but that of another beloved family member. The hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness are astounding.

***

Oh, so now that your selfish actions are affecting the people you actually love, now you are admitting your crime?

She poisoned an old woman who had been nothing but kind and accommodating to her throughout the years while Concubine Lin was stirring up shit left and right. And this is how she repaid her? Because she was butthurt she got called out on deliberately harmful actions towards Minglan? But who cares about Minglan, amirite? She is not her actual daughter, just an illegitimate child of a dead concubine. She's so goddamn stupid, but she was so willing to listen to her malicious sister simply because she was telling her what she wanted to hear. I can't feel sorry for someone so easily led and lacking all sense of personal accountability.

I'm sorry, but her self-effacing actions here mean absolutely nothing.

***

Pity you did not realise that earlier, before you, oh, idk... POISONED YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW.

She spent so many years holding onto grudges against the Sheng family, she couldn't even separate the guilty from other fellow victims. She was so blinded by her resentment, she couldn't see what was glaringly obvious to everyone but her. Old Madam Sheng warned her multiple times, then outright forbade her from bringing that toxic woman into their house, but Wang Ruofu couldn't see anything past her feeling of being "oppressed". The idiocy is astounding.

***

Oh my god 🙄

My mother used this and still uses it all the damn time. "You will seeeeeeee when I dieeeeeeeeeeee!" Over the most pathetic squabbles such as not getting her way when she is just beyond wrong. It's so irritating. I have no sympathy left for anyone using this. My response is always, THEN GO KILL YOURSELF IF YOU ARE SO TIRED OF LIVING. They obviously never do.

[marley-manson]

character opinion bingo:

MASH: henry, BJ, margaret doctor who: martha, ten, jack harkness

do as many as you want!

Thank you! Doing them all lol, I can never resist. But I’m separating the fandoms, so I’ll do the Mash characters first and do the DW ones in a new post. Cut for length but mostly for wasps nest/baseball bat BJ opinions lol, if you love him you may want to skip this post.

Henry:

I don’t think it was a bad idea to kill him off, but it seems obvious that it was a little motivated by spite lol. I would’ve liked to see him in the dramatic seasons tbh, I think McLane Stevenson could’ve pulled off the transition, so wasted potential. But he’s not one of the Mash characters I think about a lot, so I like him, I think he was great for the satire, I prefer him to Potter, but I don’t have a lot of deep thoughts on him as a character.

BJ:

Some explanation required lol.

He gets done dirty by the fans who brush off and ignore or sweep everything that makes him less boring than cardboard under the rug to turn him into Hawkeye’s perfect supportive partner; he got done dirty by the creators who, as I’ve realized while rewatching season 4, seem to have conceived of him as a cardboard cut-out Hawkeye could talk to. Like seriously, it’s baffling how little character he has, I can’t believe the writers of an otherwise great show full of interesting characters wrote him. It’s honestly bizarre how bland he is.

I was very torn on ‘the popular ships for this character suck’ because I don’t think Hawk/BJ sucks per se, I like it in my own way, but I’m not into the popular take on it. And BJ/Peg and any combination involving them sucks to me. I think he’s overrated in that a lot of what’s interesting about him was in no way intended by the show, and I genuinely think he’s overrated in his first three seasons, like this is 100% personal opinion but he’s as interesting as watching paint dry to me no matter how much I project the gay repressed read onto him. I’m happy for people who loved him from day one, but I cannot relate at all.

I’m holding up songs to him bc I want to vid him lol. He has too much screentime in that he’s boring and I’m bored when he’s on screen and not making Hawkeye feel like shit, he also doesn’t have enough screentime because the writers REALLY should’ve written him some fucking plotlines in which they could’ve explored interesting character facets sooner than 4/5 seasons into his run.

I wouldn’t mind meeting him briefly becauses he’s nice on a surface level, but I wouldn’t want to be friends with him. See above and below for the reason my opinions are like hitting a nest with a baseball bat. And honestly... yeah I gotta say I actively dislike him. In his first few seasons I dislike him as a character construct for boring me. But in later seasons I dislike him in the way that makes me like him more as a character, which is ultimately a good thing because it holds my interest. The ways he sucks aren’t ways that endear him to me as a person, but they’re ways that engage me emotionally and intellectually. Wheelers and Dealers and Period of Adjustment are two of my favourite episodes, after all.

Margaret:

She’s often awful and i love it when she’s awful so my ‘what’s wrong with them’ is very affectionate. I would hate her irl so I wouldn’t want to meet her. And I love her character arc, I think it’s incredibly impressive for an episodic 70s show, and even just in general. I’m not obsessed in terms of like, character analysis, but straight up in terms of ‘wow that is some good ass writing what the fuck.’

[johobi]

A Lycan Dignity

Word count: 4k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: rough, penetrative werewolf sex, pregnancy sex, blood consumption, biting, knotting, squirting, very strong dom/sub dynamic, extremely graphic sexual description lol, impreg kink, baby bump worship, masturbation, giant COCK, i mean huge, tiny amount of angst

A/N: This was commissioned by the wonderful @divine-bangtan​ in exchange for a Black Lives Matter donation! I really hope you enjoy it!

Next: Mark of the Beast || Tooth and Claw Masterlist

Sympathetic to the plight of the werewolves your kind have culled to near-extinction, life as a human informant has never been one of safety. However, when you catch the eye of an alpha, your situation only grows more perilous.

After many months of unremitting use, your once solid bed frame had become a rickety, wretched old thing. Its joints ground like those of a horse bound for the knackery. Weeks ago, you thought it near total collapse. Since then, however - though it protested any and all movement - it had remained intact. Because, no longer did you and Jungkook breed with the impassioned fervour you once did. No, these days your bed hosted only the most lacklustre of sex; the sort you never imagined needing endure when you tied yourself to him. After all, Jungkook was an oversexed, testosterone-burdened manbeast with a twelve inch cock and a negligible refractory period. So why was it now so scant? So underwhelming? 

According to him, it was necessary. 

Ugh.

Oh, how you longed for the days and nights Jungkook would run you all the way through, bending you this way and that to offload himself for the third, consecutive time. How he would grow and grow and grow, locking into place in the depths of your cunt and soothe you all the while.

Being that you were now five months pregnant, however, you were the only one ballooning. God, you missed his knot. Missed the intensity with which he once bedded you. Missed the—

“Does that feel okay?”

“It’s fine.”

Presently, Jungkook mounted you with the shallowest of thrusts, barely wetting half his length. The bed swayed beneath you, tapping the wall to the rhythm of his gently rolling hips. Before you’d grown big, it had clapped the cabin’s pine like thunder, and splintered where it struck. Today you clutched a pillow for comfort as Jungkook rocked you into a drowsy stupor.

It was so quiet that his breathing carried across you. It, too, was shallow - hardly laboured - and sometimes there came an occasional grunt of effort. Or perhaps of pleasure? It was difficult to distinguish to what extent the act satisfied Jungkook when he restrained himself so. By the furrow in his brow, it appeared more akin to torture. It certainly was for you. Your libido had grown unruly during gestation, and nothing much gratified you. 

Nothing but your aforementioned, well-endowed mate. Only he could alleviate the nagging ache.

So it was to your utter dismay when Jungkook deemed you too large for such boisterous intercourse, and insisted you be handled like some delicate bijou. It was preposterous! You were tough enough to withstand a decade’s duty in the militia’s vanguard! A few extra inches of cock weren’t like to break you.

In the end, despite two full days of moody back-and-forth on the matter, he tempered your lovemaking significantly. And though your post-coital canoodling was as much to your joy and satisfaction as it ever was, you found the preceding act painfully lacking. Actually, literally painful. Pregnancy was quite intolerable. 

You challenged Jungkook on several, fruitless occasions thereafter. But his constant dismissals would not deter you. Especially not today, when the entirety of you quivered for satiation, and he had been drip-feeding you cock for the past twenty-odd minutes. It was maddening. The path to climax was a sleet-sodden slope that you could never hope to climb.

"Jungkook, please, enter me fully. There’s no need for such caution. I know it hurts you to hold back." And me. “How many times must I assure you that I’m not as fragile as you think me?" You grimaced at the headboard as Jungkook probed your entrance with middling impetus. His girth was such that your cunt begged and fluttered to receive it deeper, distressed by the gaping space that went unfilled.

“Hmph.”

Jungkook’s considerable weight descended,  blanketing your back to secure your compliance. With his breath at your ear, he interwove your fingers and exerted pressure enough to bow you to the blanket. Your ass, however, remained high and accessible; as submissive a posture there was. By the devilish chuckle that blew across your cheek, Jungkook already thought himself the victor of this quarrel. "And how many times must I ask you not to challenge me? I know my own strength." It was difficult to rebuke him when his lips skirted your ear so. So soft and wet and careful in their pressure.

"And I know your strength just as well. I have been on the receiving end of it for months before th-this—ah!" Pain suffused your neck where Jungkook’s mouth lingered. He curled his lip at your continued defiance. Out of the corner of your eye, his fangs bore a red glaze. 

Mayhaps it was a warning, but it only served to embolden you. 

"Nothing you could do would harm the pups. Please, Jungkook. I'm begging you." He liked being begged. Liked when you relinquished your power and station entirely. Because, outside your bedchambers, you were as important and respected as he. That he liked, too. 

Your particularly bullish nature meant that Jungkook relished your surrender. Especially in the aftermath of contentious discussions. There had been many an occasion where Jungkook’s red-blooded urges almost jeopardised tactical assemblies, because he simply could not ignore them. Particularly the meetings where you butted heads on some divisive detail or another. The tension grew so stark during these exchanges that it cowed the other attendants into silence. You would exchange little else, thereon, but sultry glares, and Jungkook would orbit you in inappropriate proximity, breathing down your neck and rubbing you where others could not see. The sex after those meetings was singularly wild.

Jungkook attested often to his being a tethered beast, but you were the one with the leash. “Please. Put it all the way in,” you snivelled. “Alpha.”

Jungkook’s breath hitched at your urging; you felt him on your back, chest broad and feverish. He did not perspire out of exertion but sheer sexual frustration. It was obvious by the weight with which his balls hung; you spied them between your legs when you looked beneath. "Please, alpha. Take me completely." 

Furtively, you grinned. Jungkook was an astute man. However, he was also a simple, dick-driven creature. 

“Argh!”

A snarl seared your ear, drawing gooseflesh in its wake. You tilted your head to behold him; to enthrall him with lust-lidded eyes. But it was you who was captivated. Jungkook would never be anything less than breathtakingly handsome. The type women ripped costly bodices for. He was rugged; as hewn in the jaw as he was in body, and with eyes so honest you could be sup from his soul. Your mouth hung in open appreciation of his masculine beauty. Jungkook’s hips stuttered, then, as you drunk one another in. A fleeting slip, but enough to propel him deeper for a crucial moment. The repercussions manifested immediately. Your eyes rolled in their sockets and out came a harrowing groan. The entirety of your body tautened as your cunt did, grasping at his elusive length as it again withdrew. "Ugh. Jungkook!"

"Cease your attempts to seduce me, woman," Jungkook menaced, butting aside your head and raking his fangs along the angle of your jaw. "Your charms will not work." His tongue laved wherever they grazed, his hands surrendering your hips only to snake beneath and caress your rotund belly. So tender was he in his touches, that your cunt pulled with desire. Jungkook splayed his fingertips, cradling your circumference as best he could in his calloused palms. He muttered something soft and indiscernible about our children as he admired you, your provocation momentarily forgotten.

His cheek came by yours, then, rounded nose drifting to your temple to huff in your pregnant scent. According to him, you’d become overwhelmingly, wonderfully fragrant. Such that he would pine if denied it too long. 

Chamomile. 

That was what you effused while with child.

Jungkook’s favourite tea.

The headbutt that came next would reasonably incapacitate the average person; indeed, it was so strong that your knees rattled on their hinges. But Jungkook went unscathed, nuzzling a path through your tangled hair, air whooshing through his nostrils as he scented you. "God, you are beautiful. So round, so full. And utterly mine," Jungkook murmured, teetering on the fringes of abandon. He continued his ardent groping with a whine.

Had he really sabotaged his own restraint? 

How funny that his undoing was his own. Positively hilarious. 

That was, until you felt his cock sink deliberately deeper. Jungkook groaned as you did, though you were far more shameless in your desperation. “Oh, God—!”

"Fuck!" The curse word unravelled into a low, ungodly growl.

"Yes, Jungkook. More—" Your hands scrabbled for purchase on his backside, but it soon retreated out of reach as he again withdrew. "Godfuckingdamnit! What must I do to convince you? Please, do it again. I can take it!"

"I will not. It’s too much a risk. What happened was—was entirely unintentional, and I won’t allow it to happen again." He stated it with resolve, but his hips stuttered traitorously, heeding not him but the wolf within him. A rush of breath buffeted your shoulders and then Jungkook's nose was again in your nest of hair, inhaling himself to his senses. "That is the end of it," he murmured on exhale, seemingly sobered. "Now, let us continue." Penetration resumed at its previous, underwhelming pace, maddening you to your very marrow.

"Fine." A growl of your own grew in your chest. "Then I will not submit to you today."

When you dared look Jungkook’s way, the sheer displeasure buckling his features very nearly undid your determination. His brows hung gravely over his eyes, obscuring their usual, gentle glimmer with a severity that stirred your wanton pussy. "You will. You will always submit to me. I am your alpha," Jungkook stated with a snap of his teeth, seeking to subdue you with his hefty physique.

Oh, you absolutely would and should submit but it was imperative you defy him now or you would never see satiety.

With something of such import in the balance, you heaved yourself onto your elbows and then your hands, quaking beneath the werewolf that hung plastered to your back. As you rose, as you straightened your spine in defiance and denied Jungkook your submission, the growl behind you grew in outrage. His cock stalled at your opening, tip still between your folds.

“Not today.”

Jungkook's lips curled back along his gums, a slight tremor to his tautened jaw. Two, prominent fangs confronted you in the candlelight, your skin prickling where they'd countless times pierced. His authority was difficult to oppose when the mere visage of this apex predator was enough to buckle your knees and sodden your cunt. "You're a baffling woman. I've dominated you on hundreds of splendid occasions, and today is the day you defy me? Must I subjugate you again, my sweet?"

As much as you yearned to present him your sopping hole, it would be another five months of unrealised desire if you did. 

To hell with that.

“Come, now. Show me how ready you are to receive me.” Jungkook sought to bow you with nips and kisses, but you would not be bowed. Not this time. When this much became clear, he peeled himself from your back and his cock from your hole. Oh, no. No, this wouldn't do.

"If you will not obey me then you will not receive me at all," he snorted, as enraged and engorged as a hung bull. Truly, he was a marvel that you could not tear your desirous eyes from. Not when he knelt there so, in all his strapping, virile glory. You whined for what you were cruelly denied. Jungkook interpreted your meaning well. "It is your own fault." He vented frustration through his flaring nostrils. "Present yourself to me or I will simply finish all over you."

Your cunt pulsed in anguish and joy. What a dream it would be if he painted you, cock in hand and strangling it of cum. If his sac throbbed with each ejaculation as it fell across your body, hot and sticky. If his lips were bitten bloody and his eyes crinkled closed.

God.

Yes, it would be beautiful. But it would afford you nothing in the end but your own, spiritless fingers to finish with. Jungkook had been so keen a lover that you could not even recall the last time you masturbated. And you weren’t about to start now, as unquenchable as you were. 

So, you persisted. Prayed that your ruse might finally bear fruit. It all culminated with this: "I won't. How about you I take you, so that I may seek my own pleasure? Get on your back. Offer your belly up to me, wolf, so I may sit on you."

In a lightning's flash Jungkook was atop you, one muscular forearm looping your hips and the other strong across your chest, claws toying with the malleable flesh of your swollen breasts. His weight suffocated you once more, but you did not resist when he sought to manoeuvre you into submission. Not when, in the ferocity of his outrage did he then stuff you full with his entire cock, plunging to your depths in one, fluid thrust. It took your breath away. Deprived you of your vision. For a moment, nothing but blood raged in your ears as you fully comprehended just how in want you were. "Oh, G-Gods."

A scramble of depraved utterances streamed from Jungkook's mouth as he handled you as he truly wished. With just the one, greedy hand he bullied your swaying breasts, squeezing them as if to strain you of milk. Every vulgar grope, every pull of your nipples manifested violently in your cunt, throttling Jungkook's monstrous cock in arrhythmic convulsions. "I-Is it truly safe?" He posed it to you as a throaty moan, his other hand charting the flesh of your inner thighs and skimming them like a potter might wet clay. As his thumbs brushed the apex between, willingly and desperately you split your legs further apart, elevating your backside for his inspection. The mere act of yielding to Jungkook sensitised you to him tenfold. Though you were not werekind, his influence was such in its potency that it affected you all the same. A familiar, innate desire to pleasure him overcame you. And as you submitted to him now, nothing thrilled you more than the whines of appreciation that kissed your ears as his full length stretched you silly. Jungkook murmured again; lower and in earnest. "____. Is it truly safe?"

"It is. A thousand times I've said it." As you spoke he shifted within you, and the world shifted too. The gratification was profuse. "The babes will come to no harm," you sang, sliding along the base of his girthy cock. "And neither will I. No, I need this. And so do you."

"I won't deny that." Was all he said before he pinned you like a ravenous beast its beaten prey, hips snapping, momentum rippling through you. Each drive of his pelvis bombarded your cunt with his weighty, bloated balls as he dove in deep. They struck you like a rider’s crop, again and again, until you were sore and splendidly puffy. “Fuck, you’re so deep. I forgot how far back you go. God, you’re made for me. My perfect, pretty little bitch.” Jungkook was quickly carnal. Every phrase concluded in a wolfish whine. 

He rutted you with the vigour of his first heat, feverish and erratic, jamming you to your limits with his colossal cock. His tip kissed your cervix on repeat, greasing your insides with pre-cum as he ploughed apart your unyielding walls. He leaked it so liberally now, so profusely that it dribbled from around him. All the while you yelped up a din beneath him, fully engrossed in your deference to him. You glimpsed night sky in the bedsheets, spatterings of stars combusting before your very eyes. They fell as tears, streaking your cheeks wet with relief.

"Yes, yes—that's it. Oh, you feel so good, my love. S-So good." Jungkook pistoned into you with expert precision, sweeping across your g-spot with every frenzied pass. A glorious ache tugged at your navel as he did so, wringing your insides like a sopping sponge. And, oh, how you were sopping. Vulgarly so. Jungkook juiced your cunt each time he crammed you full, soaking the space between you. It lacquered his abdomen 'til he shined in the lowlight. Gods, he was gorgeous, you could not help but glimpse him past your shoulder, to observe him as he split you apart, his eyes sharp and expression fraught. Your cunt heaved at the sight and sensation of him, and spurred him on.

"You were right. So right." Jungkook's tongue flicked around his gaping mouth, touching on his teeth in concentration. His eyes remained fixed to the site of your messy joining, tracking the drag and draw of his throbbing cock. "You can take anything. You're so strong. So beautiful," he whispered between uneven breaths, adhering himself to your arching back and resuming his earlier, intimate ministrations. As his lower half rippled and rammed you, his upper half cocooned you in comfort, gifting touches so soft they could be whispers.

You sensed it before it came. Hot breath tickled your nape for the briefest moment and then, there it was, sharp and soothing, a bite as familiar as his tender kiss; the bite that affirmed your initial bonding. It no longer induced pain, only a midsummer's welcome warmth. This first bite was the gentlest; Jungkook reasserting his claim. But then he withdrew, and struck again, and again, latching onto your nape for purchase as he pounded himself into your cunt to eke mewls from you.

"Ngh, fuck, it's happening too soon." Jungkook sounded utterly bereft. He did not, however, slow his incessant pace. His zeal had displaced you so far up the bed that the headboard clattered against your cheek. Discomfort was an irrelevant notion when you were having the life fucked into you, however. "I should withdraw."

"No!" It was practically a scream. "Knot me. Please, it's been too long. I need it, I need all of you," you burbled, tears afresh in your eyes. You were so close. Something momentous accumulated in your abdomen; teased glimpses of divine completion.

"Fuck!" Jungkook's hands roved your underside in woeful abandon, gripping at you like he might yet reestablish restraint. Clearly he could not, for his next move was to indulge in the blood that trickled freely from your neck. His long, rough tongue lapped you clean of his excesses, and his lips made sweet reparation. "I want—" A wet, solemn kiss. "I w-want—" A quick, furious thrust between your legs. "I want to fill you to the brim."

"Yes, do it, alpha. Please, please." Your whining rivalled that of the den's neediest pups. "I'm strong, like you said. I can take it. There is nothing more I've wanted these past months than that. Please knot me, Jungkook." As incentive you pitched your backside higher, clenching both orifices for his appreciation. Jungkook observed the gesture keenly, his cock jumping to a stall within you.

“Sh-shit—”

With surprising composure, he cupped the back of your head and tilted you toward him. Your cheekbones brushed in passing, and the tips of your noses pressed close. He sifted your eyes for sincerity before pressing his lips to yours in a long, torrid kiss that conveyed all that you needed from him. As you parted, Jungkook's tongue lingered long enough to draw strings. And then he grinned. "Alright. As you deferred to me so readily." His pace quickened, escalating into a frenzy of cunt-cleaving thrusts that drove ruthlessly along your upper wall. "I shall oblige you."

"Oh God—" The reservoir within you burgeoned suddenly, pulsed behind your cunt for release. And as you felt the dam begin to fracture, Jungkook's fingers found your clit amidst your plastered folds. One, establishing touch was all it took to undo you. As the base of his cock began to thicken, a river of fluid rushed around it as you finally, joyously climaxed, eyes half-lidded and sightless as you ascended. Euphoria tinged your every atom and daubed the world white. You convulsed on end and with alarming force, your pussy gulping down Jungkook's rapidly ballooning cock. The stretch of him stung wonderfully, pushed apart your seizing hole without care for your capacity.

"F-Fuck." Jungkook faltered upon witnessing the ferocity with which you gushed. It soaked what little remained dry of his thighs, clinging to their definition. You gasped and moaned beneath him, dizzied by orgasm, your mouth agape and cheek crushed flat to the headboard. His vascular forearms shook to support him as he hurtled toward completion. "You needed all of me, hm?" Jungkook panted, drunk on lust and wild with power. He gloated over you like the primeval beast he was, fangs bared and liberated by instinct. "Your slippery little cunt missed this, didn't it?"

You mustered little more than a gurgle as he continued to ravage your boneless body, fucking through your spasming cunt until he himself began to twitch. "Sh-Shit, fuck," he exclaimed on high, head thrown back and knot taking root. Though you were spent and without much sense, Jungkook's sudden, violent expulsion shot new life through you. Together you groaned, until he began baying, grinding his turgid cock as far as his knot would allow, frustrated by its impediment. Possessed by ferality, Jungkook nipped desperate pleas into your bruised shoulders, grunting with each subsequent spurt he emptied into you. Though he could no longer snap his hips, they nonetheless dug into you as he milked himself of residue. “God. Shit. I—” Monosyllabic cusses continued to fall from him as he prised himself from your limp body. Without a moment’s reprieve he maneuvered himself to his knees so as to better inspect your expanding belly, his hands roaming your bulging expanses. "Yes." It was almost a hiss. "You are perfect. So full of me and mine."

"Indeed, I am." You cast him a struggling smile. When Jungkook returned it, it revitalised you. Your smile grew into a grin. "And what a lucky woman I am."

"Come, let us make you more comfortable," Jungkook muttered with a touch to your dampened cheek. Historically his knots did not always abate in a timely manner. Knowing this, Jungkook clutched you to his chest, adjusting you so as not to tug at your joining, nor disturb your swollen belly. Ever so gently he steered you onto your side, his sweat-slick body clinging to your back. His knot throbbed pleasantly within, interlocking you indefinitely. And you did not object, because this was when you felt most at peace, most loved, most protected. His arms cradled you, encircled your precious load, and all the while he washed you of perspiration and blood. No week went by where your neck and shoulders were not a spectrum of colour due to Jungkook's oral attention.

You did not object to that either.

"Thank you, Jungkook. I really needed that. I genuinely shed tears," you giggled, your breasts askew around his forearm. It tensed and pulled you closer.

"So did I." A growl laced his chuckle. "But I would never harm you or the pups to satisfy my own selfish desires. Forgive me my obstinacy, but I had to be sure."

"I understand. And we are safe. We're the safest with you, my love."

Jungkook suspended his rigorous bathing of you to kiss the crown of your head. "You are. Nothing shall befall you while I still breathe.

For a dreadful moment, your ongoing predicament punctured the post-coital glow. But you resolved not to let it. No, it could wait until tomorrow. In the here and now, you did not have to fret whether Jungkook would return home tomorrow. Whether his dinner would grow cold and your bed perennially so.

No.

In this moment, he was here, as were you. One bonded pair and their six, synchronous heartbeats.

Just a quick note to elaborate on the reader’s pregnancy, as I appreciate not everyone will have read these asks.

1) She is pregnant with four boys.

2) They develop in utero as wolves, and are born in that form too - therefore they are quite a bit smaller than human babies. So she isn’t particularly overburdened. A few months after birth they will begin popping in and out of both forms until they learn to control it.

Next: Mark of the Beast || Tooth and Claw Masterlist

[femboty2k]

Long post about something I think about a lot and that doesn’t matter to anyone else but me probably

I’m sure there’s a million posts out there on why good representation is important and good but I just wanted to talk shortly about something that happened to me in a recent span of a few months involving a character in a dumb game about collecting jpegs of anime women and hunky dudes with giant swords.

There’s a game called Granblue Fantasy, its an extremely popular gacha game/JRPG with a very large roster of characters and a lot of stuff to do as far as reading through character lore, fighting JRPG battles, raids, and basically playing VNs for character dialogue. It’s a pretty good game, and one of the coolest things about it, is it has (to my knowledge, I dont play/keep up with it very often) 2 canon trans characters. One is named Cagliostro, an alchemist who was born as a man but through extensive experimentation and some self discovery has since transitioned into a woman, hell bent on making herself as cute as possible. Fun right? She’s presented extremely well and is one of the game’s more fun characters. The second character is one that has become a personal favourite for me for many reasons, her name is Ladiva.

Ladiva is a part of a race of people called the Draph. The Draph are a humanoid, and pretty much human looking, race of people with their defining features being their large stature and bovine like horns and ears. This is important because male draph are usually much larger and more muscular than female draph (but its a horny anime game so who can say they’re surprised lol). Ladiva, as my discussion here makes obvious, is a trans woman belonging to these folk. Because of this, she’s both quite large, muscular(and more masculine presenting on the surface), and has rugged looking facial hair. The surprising thing about her presentation in comparison to how she looks, is that she’s presented incredibly well. despite her appearance being not as feminine as it could be (with Cagliostro even offering to make her a new totally feminine body only to have Ladiva refuse, stating that she should love her own body along with the rest of herself) she’s treated as what she is, a woman.

So why am I talking about this? Why am I putting my poorly put together thoughts on this tumblr post no one will read? Well, I am trans. I have felt a certain way about myself all my life that I’m sure most trans people can echoe so I won’t wast time waxing poetic about how I’ve always felt more feminine than I was “supposed” to be. My core purpose of this post comes from the fact that I am 6′2, nearly 300lbs of muscle/fat/body hair, and have had a full beard since I was 14. I am EXCEEDINGLY masculine, which has made my own internal struggle with my transness sort of difficult to accept. A sort of constant push and pull of wanting to just repress it all because I already pass as a man and wanting to work towards being who I know I actually am. Another factor is that I never felt truly comfortable with purely feminine pronouns. In highschool I went by a different name, and I used she/her pronouns and for a while it felt okay. But it was always just, okay. It never felt right on top of several people giving me some rather hurtful backlash for it and how it contrasted so much with my physical appearance. So I stowed it all away until about a year ago. I now have something that I didn’t have before, a truly wonderful and supportive group of adult friends who treat me like an adult as well and take me seriously. So through careful examination of how I felt i began trying new things to explore my identity. It began with me deciding I wanted to use they/them pronouns, this stuck and still feels like its the right thing for me along with the label of Nonbinary. However, slotting myself into this new label and finally feeling comfortable in an identity brought about new thoughts as well as new things to mull over in my head. Things like the fact that most nonbinary representation in media falls under the same category of a waifish AFAB person who presemts femininely if not androgynous, and how people like me are a vocal minority within the community itself even being excluded by a small portion of it. It was a new set of things to tackle and think about. But that aside, with them came the most important thing I asked myself, “am I comfortable with how I am now? Or do those thoughts I had all those years ago mean something?”

This question isnt easy. Gender is a strange subject and is different to everyone who experiences something with their identity, so I wont pretend like I have any definitive answers for anything because, there arent really any of those. The question for myself, boiled down to “Am I more comfortable identifying as transfeminine, or am I comfortable with just being nonbinary.” This question vexed me for a little while. It hurt to think about. A lifetime of bullying and being made to be ashamed of my body type and stature had made my confidence in myself rather lackluster. This made the decision more difficult. It would be easy to try and own a sense of pride in being a masculine presenting nonbinary person. There aren’t many of those in representation as I mentioned before, and at the time it made me feel nice to think that it was what I wanted. But those thoughts I had all those years ago did mean something, and thats not who I am. The answer I ultimately came to, was that I am trans, and want to present more feminine than masculine, because that’s who I know I am, and not just what I think would be easiest. So, to bring it all together, how the everloving fuck does this relate to a character from a gacha game? Well, when i first saw Ladiva I nearly wrote her off as a character that probably was used as a disrespectful  joke on trans women and how they’re viewed. She’s not though. She has an entire montra of loving herself and others for who they are and owning every aspect of herself, including her body. She’s not a small lady, she’s a large/muscular wrestler who, in no mistake of words, still looks very masculine, right down to her facial hair. But none of that matters, not her appearance, not her beard, not her height, she’s still a woman and she’s seen as one by the others around her because, well, that’s what she is. She makes it known and others accept, or at the very least, respect it. It was something entirely new to see something like this in a form of popular media, and in turn it gave me an odd sense of self confidence in my own current appearance, even though I do intend on changing it through HRT and other means (exercise and other health related means). It meant a lot to me to see someone who was, in at least some way, like me who was loved by the community of the game she was in. And it still does. In conclusion, Ladiva is a very cool character, and her existing gave me a boost of confidence that helped lead me towards accepting things about myself that I had found it hard to previously. Go look into Granblue if you like games like that, there’s even a fighting game that came out not too long ago. Thanks for reading, if you did, this whole post is long and kind of dumb because I’m kind of dumb. But I wanted to put it somewhere. Have a nice day <3

[whyqueerbaitingisbad]

movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding  kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r  h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character. 

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002) 

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH. 

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018) 

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

n and u if you're still answering from the fanfic asks

thank you so much anon!! from this ask game

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

ooo there’s a few specific wips or fic ideas from friends of mine that i’m just DYING to read (no pressure at all but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE). of my own works i desperately wish someone else would write the fic that lives in my head rent-free where reggie and ray talk about breaking the cycle of abuse as parents and ray tells reggie that he thinks reggie would have been a good dad :(

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this question is really really hard because there are so many amazing authors to pick from! i legitimately couldnt narrow it down to 3 even just from the first ones who come to mind so have 5 sdlkfjsdlkfjs THIS IS STILL NOT ALL THE AUTHORS I LOVE NOT AT ALL NOT EVEN CLOSE. should i make an author rec post. would anyone appreciate it if i did that. ANYWAY here

@sweetheartreggie i feel like this is a given but a) kat’s fics are wonderful, the way their characters totally embody the “it’s rotten work” “not to me not if it’s you” energy (their BOGGIE my GOD!!! their bobby the original petname fiend) but then the cute stuff is so fluffy and satisfying and warm and like home. plus the endless amounts of co-creating we do that never sees the light of day... plus the fact that essentially everything i write is totally interwoven with things we make, from obvious cowrites like molars to the fact that every reggie i ever write has our endless hours of discussion about him stamped on them like a wax seal. kat is in every corner of my work and i want them to stay there forever. ily kat

@chickwiththepurpleguitar hi lilly this should be obvious LOL but genuinely the way that lilly’s writing can pull the rug out from under your feet and just devastate you. unprecedented. sometimes i will sit in google docs and watch lilly write in real time and the dialogue literally leaves me breathless as it appears. the way characters look after each other in her fics (sickfic ICON for the record), the way that when i first read longfic i had to roll over and muffle my face in my pillow and scream multiple times out of sheer agony, etc. lilly’s characters make real mistakes, the kinds where you scream YOU IDIOT as you read but you also totally, completely get why they’re doing it, and they’re so raw and vulnerable in the best ways. also, lilly’s alex characterisation my beloved. also the bobbyrayrose dynamic she has painstakingly built not only lives rent-free in my head, i am paying rent to the bobbyrayrose dynamic. it’s got a whole little business up in here. it’s the landlord now.

@arolou new player on the scene but not in my heart old fandom friend <3 do you want to cry? do you literally want to bawl your eyes out over the sticky, tight-in-your-chest, complex feelings about how hard it is to be friends and to love other people well and to talk to them about it? ALTERNATIVELY do you want to laugh and be filled with joy and sunshine? BOTH OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE. i love the .. idk if grit is the right word, because it’s not quite that rough, but her characters feel like they have something tangible and real and sometimes bitey about them that makes me love them all the more. my favourite line about alex ever written is in one of her fics. also genuinely amazing aro rep. ily so much

@joyandthephantoms FIND ME A MORE UNDERRATED JATP AUTHOR YOU CAN’T. it’s the total mastery of twisted-up, angry, loving, amazing feelings for me. it’s the characters fucking up and caring and doing their best and doing badly and realising and trying again and doing better for me. it’s the tumbling whirlwind of feelings getting stopped in its tracks by the gutpunch of sudden awareness for me. it’s the catharsis for me. i can’t genuinely do justice to joy’s fics in my own words so like, just, read them and have a better life.

@julies-butterflies lydiaa what always knocks me flat is this: lydia is a total package author like other authors dream of being. lydia’s fics can be funny or absolutely heartbreaking, her prose is GENUINELY from another dimension of good, like, some of my favourite sentences in the english language but they’re just every other paragraph and it’s like being punched in the face with beautiful words, but also then things will be SO . FUCKING. FUNNY. lydia writes my favourite julie in the entire world, has mastered atmosphere so much that i feel like i breathe the same air as these characters, and is my go-to when i need to read something that feels like an actual hug is happening to me.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I JUST LOVE MY TALENTED FRIENDS

[fineosaur]

50 questions

I was tagged by @jeynepoole, thank u <33

what is the colour of your hairbrush? i have 2, a black one which is kinda big and then a small travel-ish one that’s mint green. both gifted to me because i used to not own one and my mum and sister would find it ridiculous.

name a food you never eat? agh i kinda eat everything now... but i try to stay away from shellfish and nuts cause i break out when i eat either

are you typically too warm or too cold? in mauritius ?? in this age of global warming?? always too warm babes

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was having my first cup of tea for the day

what's your favourite candy bar? flake cadbury chocolate

have you ever been to a professional sports game? ya but i was like 2 when we visited anfield.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “for fuck’s sake” because my sister ate my breakfast.

what is your favourite ice cream? hmm maybe hazelnut but i love a bubblegum.

what was the last thing you had to drink? water, hydrate, bitch.

do you like your wallet? yeaaa, i got it this year, it’s rly pretty and has a snakeskin pattern that matches my phone case so well. even if im not one for matching stuff

what is the last thing you ate? i havent eaten anything today yet, but i had some chips last night.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i didn’t i didnt spend any money last weekend thankfully. 

what's the last sporting event you watched? hmm probably i caught a glimpse of a football match when walking by a tv but thats it. i dont watch sport anymore.

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? salted! always. im a salty bitch to the end of my days.

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend, who keeps trying to get me to take a pic of my supervisor BUT IM SICK FROM WORK TODAY.

ever go camping? no, im too high maintenance for that shit.

do you take vitamins? well ive just started on a magnesium supplement for my fatigue. 

do you regularly attend a place of worship? no lol, even if muslim women pray at home, i do not. 

do you have a tan? no :(( i really want one. summer is on its way here so i expect one soon enough 

do you prefer chinese or pizza? ugh chinese ofc. i only appreciate proper italian pizza, which you rarely find here. man now im just thinking of peking duck.

do you drink your soda through a straw? no i dont drink soda

what colour socks do you usually wear? i have light green, light blue, black and grey ones. that i interchange, these are all the no show ones. then i have regular white ankle socks for my trainers.

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i do not drive

what terrifies you? wow nothing came to mind. nice to know 

look to your left, what do you see? my rug, littered w my messes 

what chore do you hate most? washing dishes! but moping comes a close second because i go to hard and make my arms hurt. 

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? @thelandofnothing LOL

what's your favourite soda? i dont drink soda!!! 

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru always bitch

what's your favourite number? 4, i decided on it when i was 4 and it stuck. but 15 comes a close second

Who’s the last person you talked to? like aloud? uh my sister when she barged into my room at 7 am.

favourite cut of beef? i dont have one, i just eat meat but i pay no attention to the cooking of it. i will not look at it raw. 

last song you listened to? matilda - alt j. my friend has been telling me to listen to it, apparently it makes him think of me. and i have no idea why.

last book you read? hmm yesterday i began reading my sister’s new book but then my migraine told me to stop.

favourite day of the week? thursdays. they just hit different

can you say the alphabet backwards? most likely not. i need words written down to even spell them out. i work visually, bitch. 

how do you like your coffee? i dont like coffee. if i ever do its w copious amounts of sugar.

favourite pair of shoes? a pair of black oxfords i bought back in 2018. theyre so comfy and they reflect my style a lot 

time you normally get up? 5:50am on weekdays, weekends are a gamble rly. 

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises usually, but mauritian sunsets hit right too. 

how many blankets on your bed? i have my quilt and then a purple throw blanket.

describe your kitchen plates? white, nothing to them, theyre just white. 

describe your kitchen at the moment? eerie

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? i’d say beer. it’s my go to, but i’ve been slowly trying out cocktails to find my favourite, i quite like gin as well as red wine. 

do you play cards? with friends ya, it’s usually when drinks are involved though. 

what colour is your car? my mum’s car is grey lol.

can you change a tire? i know the mechanics of it but have never been allowed

your favourite state? i dont ?? have one. i dont even know any states. is new york a state? if so, cause of @yanak324, i will say ny

favourite job you've had? well i’ve worked freelance stuff and now my current job, so i dont have much experience to say i have a favourite. but i really like my current job so i’ll say that. 

im gonna tag: ooft im tired but lets do this, @yanak324, @evax3, @sneetchstar, @northernfieldsforever, @salty-wench, @littlerockerao3, @nalgenewhore, @treaddelicately, @livhatesolives, @aryasbadbenergy, @watersandwolves

[jemej3m]

herein, i shall be more myself.

my new royalty au that i have been throwing around for a while now! if u like prince and pauper styled shenanigans, this is for u. also, thank you @foxy-exy for betaing for me!!!!!!!!!!! bless your soul

read on my ao3! below is just the first part ;;;)

*

Once upon a time, there was a fine young prince by the name of Nathaniel Abram Wesninski. Little did those of the royal courts, neighbouring kingdoms, or even his relatives know, that by night, the young man—almost eighteen and on the precipice of maturation—went by the name Neil Josten. 

A commoner’s name, indeed. He would flip up his hood and clamber down the tresses that crawled up the brick faces of his tower, creeping through his father’s roses as he snuck towards the palace’s boundaries and escaped into the shadows. 

It was incredibly dangerous behaviour, of course: a Crown Prince would earn high amounts of ransom money, especially as he was his father’s only living heir. He wasn’t sure that he wanted the title of the Wesninski Prince, but it was bestowed on him from birth, and carved into his skin every day that he lived as the target of his father’s ire. 

If only his mother was still alive to shield him from his father’s cruelty, but fate had her sickened by disease till she rotted away in her bed. Nathaniel had been merely ten years old. 

It was the fiery insubordination she always nurtured in her heart that had him act in defiance of his father. It was the adrenaline that coursed through his veins as he escaped the castle’s grounds that liberated him, and he always found himself sprinting down the hill, cape frolicking in the breeze. 

If he was brave enough, he’d turn around and never look back. His fear of his father was too great, and his ability to survive on his own too weak for him to consider escaping for good. He could just imagine the fury scrawled across his father’s brow. The scars across his back always ached when he imagined the way his father would react when he knew of Nathaniel’s behaviour. 

When he was outside the palace walls, he did his best to detach himself from that aspect of his life: he was no longer Prince Nathaniel. He was just Neil Josten, the peasant. Neil Josten, the common thief, the rapscallion, the nobody. He was whoever he wanted to be, and that was the greatest gift that the kingdom could grant him. 

Of his acquaintances, of whom he’d met whilst snooping around the Palmetto slums, Andrew was certainly his favourite. He manned the bar of a decrepit tavern, aptly named Eden’s. His brother studied medicine with the local apothecaries, Abigail Winfield and Katelyn Mellark, whilst his cousin ran a small orphanage on the edge of Palmetto with his husband. Neil thought Andrew was lonely, but the man seemed averse to any form of socialisation, including Neil’s. 

Neil, often overwhelmed by the overbearing nature of Eden’s patrons, found comfort in the quiet aura Andrew maintained, watching him smoke his pipe when he wished for a moment away from the tavern’s hustle. 

Sometimes he thought about telling Andrew the truth. Telling Andrew who his father truly was. The man valued honesty above anything else, so Neil feared if he ever revealed his dishonesty, Andrew would never look him in the eye again. There would never be the secrets, exchanged under a blanket of stars, or the warmth found in a tin roof after the sun had set on a summer evening when they laid down and gazed at the lingering clouds. 

Andrew was incredibly intelligent, worthy of a scholarly position within the village’s archives. Neil wanted that for him: he wanted Andrew to excel and live comfortably. After all his troubles, it was most deserved. 

Escaping the palace’s boundaries gave Neil a distinct appreciation of how he could change the way his father ruled Baltimore when he finally received the crown, but that would only happen if he didn’t get himself killed in the process. Sometimes that was hard to remember, but creeping through the slums made it all the more prevalent.

Neil clambered up onto the bales of hay on a nearby stable, carefully leaping from rooftop to rooftop till he arrived at the tavern. The lip of the thatched roof allowed him to flip down onto Andrew’s balcony—he lived above his workplace, as most did—and enter via the open window. He was careful not to bruise the soft petals of the chrysanthemums under the windowsill and checked that his boots were not dirty before he went and tracked mud all over Andrew’s rug. With the matches beside Andrew’s straw mattress, Neil lit the oil lamps within the man’s room and let himself be comforted by the familiar glow. 

The first time Neil and Andrew met, Andrew had whacked him across the stomach with a fire poker. Neil had fallen to his knees, wheezing as his fingers curled against the cobbled stone underneath him. 

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t shove this through your eye. What are you doing sneaking around, shadow?”

“Fuck you.” He sucked in a shuddering breath. “There are worse things than death.”

Andrew had tugged down Neil’s hood, curling his fingers into Neil’s hair and tugging his head up to look at him. Neil had once feared he’d be recognised, but his father hadn’t let Neil be seen in public since his mother had died eight years prior. 

“You’re not wrong,” Andrew had said resignedly. He’d shoved Neil back to the ground and stalked away, glancing over his shoulder only once to say, “Cross me and you’ll regret it.”

Neil smiled. It was a fond memory now.

*

(the rest is on ao3 its 8k lol i wasnt about to put it all in one post here)

neil in laced medieval cottons and cloaks? more likely than you think

[triplelutzmoreliketriplecry]

knats 2020 mindspill

This nats, despite being comparatively well-known for a smaller federation’s nationals, DID NOT STREAM OUTSIDE OF KOREA. WHY. So my viewing of the nats was a bit weirder and different; thank YouTube for posting skates. I missed a bunch of skates but I watched quite a few as well.

WOMENS

Yelim Kim (김예림) 🥉

HER JUMPS MAN. HER JUMPS. Honestly I don’t even know why she doesn’t get +5s for all her clean jumps (aside from lacking more complex transitions and lessening the load time) because the way time seems to slow whenever she jumps??? the delay in rotation??? the clean edges?????? the flow?!?!!!!!!! she truly is a technical badass. Her “performance” skills have been critiqued in the past—which lead to the creation of her Love Story FS—but her short really sells what Yelim does best: dark and dramatic. Her movements and eye contact really help continue to chilling feel created from Natalie Portman’s opening monologue. Her Love Story FS—I hate it. Nothing on Yelim, just that the cover of the song is bad and typically Korean (coming from a korean myself), the choreo is nothing special, the song is ever so repetitive...even the Godfather would be a better choice. The program is clearly not to my taste, but Yelim does do her best (her jumps perfect, and she’s worked with Kim Yuna to perfect her performance skills!) with what she’s got. Also her Black Swan dress? Beautiful. It looks heartbreaking and enhances her balletic beauty in a way that feels very uptight (the turtleneck collar) which really relates to the theme of the movie.

Haein Lee (이해인)🥈

SHE SLAYED!!! How many times has her Firedance FS been clean??? How is someone so consistent??? Her triple lutz could use improvement but her triple loop is a thing of beauty (if it weren’t for transitions she deserves +5) and her step sequence has made this FS my favourite out of the ladies this season. The dress is fabulous, her interpretation and performance skills are perfect—nothing more I can wish from her in Firedance! Program fits her like a glove. Her Nocturne? Uh. I don’t like it. It’s boring, the dress is nice but I have an intense hatred for sweetheart cut fronts or whatever they’re called. She’s stated she’s trying a new genre that’s more mature with the program but I feel like this genre of overplayed Nocturnes can stop. Please. Either way, a beautifully well deserved silver!!!

You Young (유영)🥇

SHE LANDED THE 3A!! It’s been troubling her ever since CoC and I’m glad to see it’s back with her. Although it didn’t work as well for her in the free, I’m confident she’ll bring this killer energy to Lausanne, 4CC, and Worlds (jesus KSU last year it was Junhwan this year it’s Young??? please be kinder to your own skaters). Her Evita dress is amazingly beautiful and one of my favourite dresses ever but her program doesn’t really do much for me. It has good choreo then empty choreo—leaves me confused. (Of course this is just my opinion lol). Her skating in her RnJ short is remarkably fitting to the music, being more spastic and frantic while keeping her grace (exhibited amazingly above) and the section with the (midi?) violins has the best choreo. However both programs seem to not have enough progression throughout, which was a problem I have had with almost all of Young’s programs. This is not her fault and she takes all her programs in stride, executing them beautifully! However the choreo could use some more content to make the program feel more whole.

Honourable Mentions:

- Jihun To’s Ashes SP is also one of my favourite lyrical SPs of the season. The dress, the choreo, it’s all so perfect!

- Eunsoo ;(( She’s been having a rough season but I’m very sure she’ll recover. Her performance quality has not lost a single drop of its quality!!

MENS

June-Hyeong Lee (이준형) 🥉

This was definitely a loss for him. Korean Men’s field is small and most people that get medals stay with their medals for a while, then get pushed down slowly until they don’t podium anymore. After his SP June-Hyeong seemed tense and worried, and the two falls on his FS definitely didn’t help. He’s always been a performer though—and it helped him recover quick after the first minute of the FS. His FS has some of the best and most creative choreo I’ve ever seen and his speed, his edges are very consistent and beautiful. He’s one of those skaters I would gladly watch skate without any jumps! His SP however seems off. It’s almost too chock-full with choreo. While he performs his program amazingly, I feel like he should take some time to hold lines and edges—he’s so full of choreo often in his programs and this takes out from the viewing experience. It’s always better to have more choreo than less, though, and I applaud him! He seemed pretty stuck on the flip though—he did it again during the celebration ceremony twice as if he felt discontent. Costume for the FS was beautiful and fit the music very well (elegance and simplicity mixed in with some whimsical flair provided by the velvet) but the SP one was a bit plain. Overall a hard fight done well!!

Sihyeong Lee (이시형)🥈

SIHYEONG!! FIRST SILVER AT NATS!! His performances were very exquisite aside from the turn out on the 3A in his SP. I’m very VERY fond of his SP music since usually that’s the type of piano music I tend to enjoy more (Ludovico Einaudi vibes anyone?)—aaand that’s because it’s Max Richter. Fucking love that man. His choreo for his SP is perfect and really sells the buildup, and his triple jumps are almost Yelim-level quality—amazing height, very slight delay in certain jumps! His posture in his FS was a bit off, and I was scared he was going to lean too far and fall quite often throughout the program. As well, his skating gets a little slow at times. His FS was definitely nice and the costume makes his legs look three times the length of his torso. WOW he’s tall. I’m amazed his jumps are that nice at his height! A well deserved silver for Sihyeong definitely.

Cha Junhwan (차준환)🥇

FIRST CLEAN FS SINCE IL POSTINO. SECOND CLEAN SP OF THE SEASON. HE’S OVERCOMING HIS SLUMP Y’ALL. His quad toe looks much better and controlled (a hint of delay I see? but that might be because of the way I count rotations in jumps) and his quad sal has stopped having a rug pulled out from under him. Again, I prefer his quad toe to his quad sal because he actually rotates his quad toe more times than he rotates his quad sal, the jump he does almost 3x more frequently. However his quad sal is always a thing of controlled beauty aside from the ur problems! His 3Lz is also actually an outside edge now!!! (Sometimes; it’s quite shallow) His programs have definitely grown on him and his performance quality keeps going up and up every time he performs it. Ina Bauer, step sequence—everything went perfectly for him! I’m so proud :)

funniest moments of knats | cutest moments

[not-poignant]

Game of Thrones writers sometimes deliberately changed storylines if readers guessed what was coming, have you ever done that? And do you change them because people guess? Or for other reasons?

Oooo, cool question! I can’t stand Game of Thrones (sorry everyone), and I really hate that the creators/writers did this actually, and Glen and I (who have both done scriptwriting and creative writing) ranted about it to each other very passionately a few times.

I’ve only ever changed storylines that readers have guessed like once or twice. And it was in a very specific context. I can actually only remember one time: Once was someone who came into the AO3 replies and would tell readers things they thought were happening in the future based on what I’d said on Tumblr (before I’d ever gotten a chance to reply to the readers), without ever checking to see if the other readers even *wanted* to be spoiled that way (there are a lot of people not here on Tumblr because they don’t want spoilers) and it was frustrating enough that I ended up changing a particular storyline in part because of it.

But it wasn’t like... ‘bad, no storyline for you’ it was more like ‘I’ve made a mistake in how I’ve talked about certain plotlines on Tumblr, and I’d like to have some genuine reveals in this story, so I think I’m going to have to work harder to correct something I’ve done wrong.’

In the end, I did that. But overall I’m careful re: changing storylines, and I think it’s cool when people guess things! Because like, generally speaking, you want them to guess things! If you’re telling a story, and have a decent balance between foreshadowing and pacing, readers who like to solve mysteries will start figuring out things on their own. Some will ask you to confirm it for them (which is something I don’t really do anymore unless it’s private on Tumblr, and even then, some things I don’t confirm), and some will keep it to themselves and then go ‘I KNEW IT!!!!!’, and then others will be completely blindsided. It’s great!

The idea of writers deliberately changing things because people guess something they’ve foreshadowed is just really weird? It’s really weird. Some people have already guessed Mosk’s heartsong. It’s great! I’ve got foreshadowing there, so it’s possible to guess it for the people who are willing to sit down with a puzzle. And the people who just don’t care about that kind of storytelling/reading can focus on Mosk’s feelings instead, and the hurt/comfort, and ignore the puzzle completely until they get to the reveal. It’s my favourite kind of storytelling.

Instead, I’m a lot more circumspect about which spoilers I share and why, these days. I’m just aware that some people don’t really grok the spirit of ‘not spoiling other readers just because they know something another reader doesn’t.’ (The ‘I know something you don’t know’ impulse can be too strong to ignore, but sometimes I’ve changed my mind, or the story has gone in a different direction - it’s also why I now say that anything I write here on Tumblr isn’t canon unless it’s in the canon).

As a separate issue, usually the spoilers I post here are quite different to what I post on AO3, and I mentally kept them quite separate, idk why I expected anyone else to think that way, and it was unfair. So I became a lot more secretive with plot points. Some things I’m happy to reveal in part because I expect some people will already have guessed something is coming, or because I genuinely don’t think it’s as important as another reveal, or because it’s logical (like revealing daily excerpts of Eran and Mosk getting along when they’re not getting along right now in the canon isn’t really a spoiler, it’s just logic - it’s not a great romance if my two main characters never get along again).

What I like more these days is watching people speculating. Some people get it right. A few people guessed Vane as the traitor, but because everyone was speculating wildly, the truth gets buried amongst everyone else’s thoughts, and I can just respond to those comments on AO3 the way I respond to the others. And for folks who read the comments and my responses, they might build a broader / more spoilery picture if they want. And others can ignore it. I’m really happy with that system.

But I never changed the fact that Vane was the traitor, because the people who  guessed correctly worked hard to guess that, and I think it’s particularly cool to see people reread and pick up on the (small pieces of) foreshadowing. And for folks who needed the surprise, it got to be a surprise! That’s like, god, that’s like fucking gold. There’s nothing better than the folks who need a puzzle getting to guess some of what’s coming for themselves, and the folks who don’t want one, getting to enjoy the reveals. I work really hard to try and make that happen, I fail at it, but sometimes I succeed.

Changing storylines to stop that from happening is just shooting myself in the foot.

ANYWAY, as to other reasons I change storylines - actually I change storylines a lot because I come up with something I like more or works better in the plot. I generally strongly avoid changing to something that hasn’t been foreshadowed somehow. It’s happened here and there, usually because I’ve written myself into a dead end and to get out of it I have to go in a situation/outcome I haven’t laid a trail out for (this is why I actually have a buffer of like 6-8 chapters between what I’m posting of The Ice Plague and what I’m writing, to give myself a ‘catchment space’ to lay foreshadowing if I significantly change something - that buffer has saved my ass a couple of times).

Idk it feels kind of spiteful to see people guessing something and going ‘well HAHA joke’s on YOU.’ It’s like...watching people work hard and collaboratively with what you’re doing (which is generous and amazing), only to pull the rug out from under them because you didn’t want them to...succeed at working hard and collaboratively with your stuff?

For me, the only time I can remember doing it, it was a really specific response to a really specific circumstance, and it was more an overall aerial view of ‘okay while I enjoy talking about spoilers on Tumblr, I don’t think I can do it anymore in the same way, because it might potentially ruin the experience of people who *don’t* want that on AO3 - and I have no control over how other readers will interact with AO3 comments, and so...I will change the things I do have control over.’

So I do still talk spoilers here, just...in a different way to before!

As to changing storylines, usually only when I can think of something better, and I can still foreshadow it in a way that it makes sense when people finally get there.

In the chapter commentaries on Patreon, I often explain when and why I’ve changed a storyline from the chapter plan, and it’s almost always ‘this worked better and made more sense’ and never ‘someone guessed what was coming’ lol.

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Watford Cove

Chapter 5: not so typical love song

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 5365

Chapter: 5/13 [All chapters]

Summary: Baz goes to Simon's house to work on the project.

Read on AO3

AN: So as some of you may know/remember, I work at an amusement park. I was supposed to work today but it's literally raining all day so the park is most certainly closed. Which means I can post early! Hooray! This is personally one of my favourite chapters. I enjoyed writing it quite a bit, though I had trouble writing Baz's emotions. The boy is a weird self destructive mess and it's difficult getting that across lol. Finally, we learn a bit more about Simon. Plus some fluff, of course. Hope you all like it!

Tagging: @wayward-son-61​ @lunar-lover394​

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“Where are you going?”

I lazily turn towards Mordelia. She’s standing next to me with her arms behind her back, rocking on her heels. The picture of an adorable, unassuming child. You can hardly tell she's a brat.

“Out,” I reply.

“Mum says you go out too much.”

I do feel a bit bad about that. Daphne does legitimately care about my well being. “Well, you can tell her I’m not going out drinking. She can stop worrying.”

“Drinking what?”

I sigh. Right, she is still seven years old. “Nevermind. I’m just going to do schoolwork at someone’s house. I might be home for supper or not, I don’t know.”

“Okay. When can I ride on your motorbike?”

I smirk and buckle up my helmet. “Let's wait until you can reach the pedals. Then we’ll talk.”

Mordelia pouts pathetically. I ruffle her hair, which only makes her pout become an impressive scowl. I flip down my visor with flare and rev my engine. I give Mordelia a salute before driving off down the country road.

Simon’s house isn’t that far from mine, actually. Maybe a twenty minute ride, the way I break the speeding laws. I zip down the hill at ludicrous speeds, and keep that pace up across the country roads until they become moderately paved. Soon I’m on the sparse outskirts of Watford Cove, not the bloody fucking wilderness like mine. A much nicer place to live in my opinion.

Only a few minutes in, I arrive at the address Simon texted me. The house is actually quite posh. It’s not the terrible extravagance of the Pitch mansion of course, but it’s nice. Red brick, white shutters, some fancy curtains. There's a silver mailbox at the end of the drive with "Salisbury" painted on it in annoyingly bright green letters. The handwriting looks childish, as in a child probably wrote it. The initials "LS" are under the words like an artist's signature. Hm, interesting.

I park my bike in the driveway then make my way to the oak door. The doorbell chimes deep and loud. There’s some steps and soon it swings open. Oh. This is...not Simon. Because Simon is not an older greying-blonde woman.

This woman reminds me of portraits my own grandmother. She was also tall, straight backed, and respectful looking. But my grandmother never showed an ounce of happiness. This woman has a very kind smile on her face though, her wrinkles more from the expression rather than age.

“Hello,” she says kindly. “May I help you?”

“Um, I’m here to see Simon.”

Both her blue eyes and smile widen. “Oh right, Simon said you were coming. Simon! Your friend is here!”

There’s a crashing sound, like someone falling on the ground. Rapid steps come down the stairs until a beaming Simon jumps to the bottom.

“Hi Baz,” he says breathlessly. “Glad you found it.”

“I have Google Maps, Salisbury,” I deadpan, but with a smirk.

“Oh yeah, right, let’s go.” He motions for me to follow him inside. I nod to the woman. She looks up towards the stairs, hands on her hips.

“Simon,” she says with mock accusation, “are you not going to introduce me to your friend?”

Simon freezes halfway up the steps and whips his head around. “Oh right! Sorry, Gran. Um, Gran, this is Baz. Baz, this is my grandmother, Ruth Salisbury.”

I reach out my hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Salisbury.”

Her brows rise up in surprise. I suppose she didn’t expect politeness from a guy wearing a black Ramones shirt, leather jacket, and ear piercings. But she still takes my hand. “Pleasure to meet you as well, Baz. You two have fun.”

Simon scoffs. “It’s school, Gran. We’re not supposed to have fun.”

“School can be fun if you try, darling. Maths has made me very good at cards.”

“And you fleece Mrs. Jones every week at your games, I know. We gotta go.”

“Yes yes, go do your schoolwork. Don’t break anything.”

Simon and Ms. Salisbury smile good naturedly at each other as we go upstairs. He runs at a breakneck pace, nearly tripping over the green carpet. I follow more slowly, looking over the walls. Unlike my house, there are many personalised things. Landscape art, funny knick knacks, and some pictures. There’s one of Ms. Salisbury with an older man, who I assume to be her husband. Next to that, there’s the couple again but in their younger years. A boy and girl stand in the foreground, both as blonde as Ms. Salisbury. The last one at the top of the stairs is obviously the two kids as teenagers, grinning with arms around each other. The woman looks weirdly familiar. Her freckles, they remind me of...stars.

“Baz, c’mon!” Simon yells.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming. You’re quite bossy today, darling,” I say teasingly. I hear his gasp, then fall into a coughing fit.

“I-I just want to start working.” His voice is still a bit hoarse.

“Alright.”

I saunter down to the hall Simon went down. I step into his room, and...well, I’m not sure what else I expected. The bed and desk look old, but everything else is new. The floral blanket, the multicoloured rug, the IKEA shelf filled with comics, all quite fresh. The walls are bright blue and covered in posters. Troye Sivan, Lana del Ray, Hayley Kiyoko, and assorted pastel coloured art. Equally pastel clothes are spread out across the floor. The whole room is so...bright. It sort of hurts my eyes. I’d prefer everything a bit darker. I guess I like Simon’s colour palette in small doses, just not all in one room.

I look up. Simon’s at his desk. I finally notice that he’s wearing a new shirt. It’s like the sunflower one, but pink and with bright red rosebuds instead. It works with the copper undertones of his hair. He looks perfect in it.

“Pretty,” I whisper.

“What?” Simon asks sweetly.

Fuck, I hope my face isn’t as red as his shirt right now. “Um, nothing.”

He looks confused for only a moment then shrugs. “Okay. I woke up late and forgot breakfast, so I'm starving. Want some of this? For brain food and stuff.” He holds up a mint aero bar. My smile is instantaneous.

“Sure. Mint aeros are my favourite.”

He grins to his ears. “Mine too!

I sit in the chair next to him. He breaks off a large piece for me. We eat the chocolate at the same time, but Simon gets some around his mouth. (Of course he's a messy eater.) I want to slowly lick it off his cheek then kiss him so hard we run out of breath. I quickly look away to resist temptation. “So, you got the project up?”

“Oh yeah!” He turns back to his laptop. I see that the desk is covered in scribbly note paper, candy wrappers, and nail polish bottles. He’s got almost every colour in his preferred pastel shade. He’s actually wearing the pink one right now. It matches his shirt. I have to keep myself from making an out loud comment again.

“So I’ve started making the powerpoint,” Simon says, bringing up the application. “And I think we should start with Watership Down. The actual place. Cause it’s like, the most important setting right?”

I bite my tongue, because I...disagree. Strongly. Watership Down should be in the middle, because it is the end of their first journey and the beginning of the next. It’s important to illustrate that, I think. But he doesn’t know I would think that.

“Sure, cool,” I mutter.

“O-Okay. Then, uh, for characters, we should start with General Woundwort.”

Wrong, very wrong. He’s important, sure, but others should be discussed first. Maybe Hazel, Bigwig, or Fiver. Fuck, Bluebell should come before Woundwort.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I hope there isn’t a strain in my voice.

“Awesome! And I thought for analysis, we could talk about the archetypes and shit.”

No! Archetypes are Jungian! We’re supposed to do Freudian! Oh, fuck it.

“Give me that,” I hiss, snatching the laptop away. Simon blinks at me confused. I type furiously, barely thinking really, just spouting out the knowledge I have onto the slides. Some of the stuff is very smart but not well put, so I redo the wording. Not good with words, just like Simon said. I don’t know how long it takes, but when I’m done, I put the laptop back on the desk with my arms crossed.

“There,” I say curtly.

Simon looks through it, jaw falling open wider and wider with every slide. I shift away. Christ, this is embarrassing.

“Holy shit,” Simon whispers. I wait for him to start laughing, or yelling because I change his work. But he just turns to me with big awe filled eyes. “You’re...really smart.”

My cheeks must be as red as tomatoes now. I scoff and look at the Hayley Kiyoko poster. “Yeah, whatever.”

“No, no, I mean it, Baz. This is bloody brilliant! You’re super smart!” His brow furrows. “Why do you never show up to class? You could be getting As in like, everything.”

I press my lips together, digging my nails into my bicep. “I don’t care about school or grades. That’s all.”

“Really? You just, don’t care?”

“No, I don’t.”

Simon sighs, and I hate how close to pity it sounds. I don’t need his pity or anyone else’s. I made my choice a long time ago, and I don’t regret it. Well, I mostly don’t regret it. Certainly don’t regret because of where I’m going when term is done. Not at all...

“So, uh,” Simon says rapidly, obviously trying to break the forming tension, “I'm also mostly done the drawings. I’ll scan them later and put them in the presentation if you like them.”

He pulls out a sketchbook from his desk and flips through the pages. He shoves it in my face once he’s found the right one, making me jolt back in my chair. I snatch it from him.

“Christ, Salisbury, let me actually look,” I chuckle.

“Oh, sorry, sorry.”

I look at the picture, and it’s my turn to be awestruck. It’s...amazing. Rough, raw, a bit messy, but amazing. He’s captured Watership Down in just pencil. Sure, it’s just a hill, but Simon has drawn it from the perspective of the rabbits, so it looks looming and majestic. There are little shapes at the top, and I realise it’s a few of the rabbits looking out into the distance. A cute and perfect addition.

“Wow, this is incredible,” I say with absolute reverence.

Simon blinks at me. He seems genuinely surprised. “R-Really?”

“Yes. You’re very talented, Simon.”

“Oh, uh, well, thanks. I’m...really glad you think so.” He fiddles with his fingers nervously. “There’s a-a couple more if you want to see them. Three pages after.”

I flip through a few more pages. There are a lot of rough, abstract sketches. They look more like feelings than specific things. Waves of smoke, angry scribbles of pencil, over and over. He must do that a lot. Eventually, I land on what I think I'm supposed to see. It's obviously Fiver, based on the photo he showed me. But it's not an exact replica. It's a gorgeous interpretation. He's emphasized Fiver's large, sad, all knowing eyes. You can almost see everything terrifying and wonderful happening in them. To say I’m impressed doesn’t really cover it.

I go to the next page, and I immediately recognise it as a scene from the animated movie. When El Ahrairah, the first rabbit, was given physical gifts to survive predators from their fictitious god Frith. This one is in colour, and somehow even more stylised than the movie. El Ahrairah himself is a deep rich brown with grey loops, the sun is swirl of orange and yellow, and the sky is ripples of vibrant blue. The same colour as his eyes.

“These,” I say, “are perfect, Simon.”

Simon chuckles nervously, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m glad you think so. Think Miss Possibelf will approve?”

“If she doesn’t, she’s completely incompetent. And I don’t think that’s true.” I absentmindedly turn to the next page. It’s the start of another unfinished drawing. It’s of someone’s face. Someone with sharp cheekbones and dark wavy hair. Wait, is that-

Simon snatches the book and quickly flips it closed. He hides half his scarlet face behind the leather cover for a long moment, until he nervously coughs and lowers it. “Okay, good,” he stutters. “Glad you think so. I, uh, guess we’re done now. Man, we really could just do most of this over text.” Mother of God, must he keep doing that hair tuck? It’s torture.

“I suppose that's true," I chuckle.

"Wanna hang out?" He asks very quickly, gripping his sketchbook with ghost white knuckles.

I shouldn't. Fuck, I really shouldn't. I should go home, avoid him, keep my toxic self far away from Simon. But fucking hell, I'm weak for this boy, and just weak in general.

"Sure." My voice stays impressively neutral. "Any ideas?"

Simon twists his lips, looking around the brightly coloured room. His eyes drift down to my hands and he smiles mischievously. “I could redo your nails.”

I look down at my hands. Well, my nails are definitely chipped. I forgot to repaint them a few days ago. I look back at him with a raised brow. “I doubt you have a bottle of my ‘Chanel Le Vernis in Gris Obscur’, Salisbury.”

“Nah, definitely no Chanel. But I got some pretty good stuff from the drugstore.” He lifts up some obviously cheap but pretty nail varnish bottles. They’re all his pastels colours though.

“Not really my style.”

He shrugs. “Maybe you’d like to try something new?”

I bite the corner of my mouth. The colours hurt my eyes a bit. But he looks so adorable with that hopeful grin and glint in his eyes. I sigh, and put my left hand out. “Very well. I want your darkest shade though.”

Simon literally bounces with excitement. “Awesome! So, uh, how about...” He messes around with the bottles, almost dropping a few. Eventually he settles on a pale blue. “This one, and,” he holds up a unused looking dark grey, “this one? We can alternate.”

“Hm, sure. That grey doesn’t really match your style, though.”

He shrugs. “Eh, came with the set. Glad it did. It, uh, matches your eyes.” He looks pointedly at the desk instead of my face. That’s good though. I don’t want him to see the blush that’s spread across my cheeks. “Now gimme your right hand.”

I do as he says, placing it on the desk. He puts down some paper towel then pick up his nail polish remover and cotton balls. I have the exact same supplies at home. He reaches towards my hand, but quickly hesitates. He’s shaking actually. I can’t blame him. Every time we’ve touched, it’s been accidental or very quickly. This is different. This isn't a shoulder pat or playful shove. This is long and sustained and purposeful. And I may not be showing it, but I’m just as nervous.

“I can take it off myself,” I say quickly, reaching for the bottle. But Simon pulls it away.

“No no, I’m good. Just sit there and look...badass, alright?”

My lip twitches up. He’s so sweet. I leave my hand where it is. “Very well.”

Slowly, shakily, he slips his finger under mine. His skin is callused but still much smoother than my rough palms. It feels weird, but very nice. Almost electric. He dabs the cotton ball on the nail, rubbing off all my high end black nail polish. Huh, they look odd. it’s been awhile since my nails have been clean. After wiping them dry, he starts on with the blue. It’s a nice colour. Not something I would pick, but I can see the appeal. Simon drags the brush against my nail slowly but surely, making sure the coat is even.

“Hm,” I say, “you’re good at this.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “Self taught. A lot of trial and error, y’know? Took me ages to figure out how to do my right hand.”

“I learned from YouTube videos. Those makeup gurus know their shit.”

“Huh, smart. Oh, y’know what.” He stops painting and spins in his chair. Even with his back to me, I now he’s fiddling with his phone. Suddenly, the honeyed voice of Lana Del Rey is resonating through the room. He spins back with a grin.

“Your weird music is necessary?” I raise an eyebrow for sarcastic emphasis. Simon chuckles.

“Yeah, helps me concentrate. And it’s part of my continuing effort to convert you to good music.”

“Oh, is that your grand mission?”

“Yup! Slowly pull you away from all those screamy boys with bad haircuts and towards the beauty of Troye and Lana.”

I scoff. “You keep trying that, darling.”

He gives me a shy but sort of playful look from under his long eyelashes. “I certainly will...darling.”

Oh shit. I hope my complexion hides my blush enough. I smile back and try to look calm, hiding the storm in my chest.

We switch between chatting and companionable silence. Though Simon is never truly quiet. He hums along with the song, or makes noises of contemplation and frustration while trying to get my nails right. His hands slowly get less shaky, which helps. When we’re not talking, I take the opportunity to just watch his expression. How he sticks his tongue out in concentration, and his brow pulls together, and his face adorable pinches together when he gets something wrong. He always tries his best to fix it though, even with his clumsy fingers. It’s really sweet. Just like him.

I'm so unbelievably fucked.

“And...there!” He pulls back with a flourish. “Topcoat and everything. What do you think?”

I examine my hands. Huh, the blue is actually nice on me. And he’s right, the grey matches my eyes. It’s very well done. Maybe black isn’t the only colour I should use. I look up. Simon is staring at me wide eyed, chewing on his lip, leg jittering.

“It’s wonderful,” I say. “You did a marvelous job, Salisbury. Maybe you have a future as a nail artist.”

His nervous expression breaks, thankfully. I’ve found I prefer his grin to his genuine agitation. Blushing smile? Adorable. Wide eyed leg jittering? Not so much. “T-Thanks. Maybe...you could do mine sometime?”

Our eyes meet, and there’s no deception there. He’s always so genuine. It’s amazing. “Sure," I say before thinking. "If you can learn to like black.”

She shrugs. “Well, if you can learn to like blue, I guess I can try black.”

He grins, and I grin back. There’s a stretch of silence. It builds between us, making the air thicker and thicker. I’m torn between what I want to say and what I should. That I want more from this, more than just winks and smiles and “darlings”. But I know it can’t work. Simon should know that. I should tell him, all of it. But...he'll hate me. For not telling him about Switzerland, for using him like a plaything, for being an utterly stupid reckless prick. Can I handle him truly hating me?

“Simon, love! It’s nearly supper! Are you and Baz done your work?” Ms. Salisbury’s voice carries quite well. It jolts me from my depressive pit. Simon sighs and leans out towards the door.

“Yeah! Be down in a minute, Gran.” He looks at me, and I swear I see genuine sadness. “Looks like it’s time to say goodbye.”

I try to hide my own disappointment. “Yeah, looks like it.”

He bounces out of his chair, then offers his hand. I inhale sharply. Did not expect that. But after only a second of hesitation, I take it. He pulls me to my feet with ease. I’m still disturbed by how much his strength excites me.

“C’mon, let’s get you back on your motorbike, Pitch.”

“Should get you on it one day,” I say under my breath.

“What?”

I straighten up, hands in my jacket pockets. “Nothing, Salisbury.”

We walk down the stairs quickly. Well, Simon more jumps down them. He’s a never ending ball of energy. Ms. Salisbury is at the bottom.

“How was the work, you two?” she asks sweetly.

“Wonderful!” Simon chirps. “Talked about bunnies and stuff, and Baz let me do his nails.”

My brow shoots up to my hairline. I can’t believe he’s so open about this. If I told my father or Daphne the same, they would not say anything at best and lecture me at worst. But Ms. Salisbury looks positively elated by Simon’s words. “Oh, marvellous. Finally you can practice on someone other than me, love.”

Simon rolls his eye. “Yeah, like you don’t like it.”

“Of course. But it’s good you have another guinea pig. May I see your work?”

Simon looks at me in silent question. I shrug in response, then hold out my hand for his grandmother. She flips the glasses down from her head. “Amazing job, Simon. You’ve gotten so much better. And it looks great on you, Baz.”

“Thank you, Ms. Salisbury.”

She pulls away, waving dismissively. “Please, call me Ruth. Now, Baz, will you be staying for dinner?”

“Uh.” I turn to Simon. “Am I staying for dinner, Simon?”

Simon’s face turns red. “Oh, sure, if you want.”

I shrug. “I’m certainly in no rush to get home, and if it’s no trouble.”

“Oh it’s none at all,” Ms. Salis- Ruth says, waving her hand dismissively.

“Then I guess I’ll stay for supper.”

Ruth claps her hand once loudly. “Wonderful! Let me put out another setting.”

She saunters off to the kitchen. I decide to actually take off my jacket and boots and stay awhile. Simon leans in close to my ear, making my pulse spike.

“Hope you like roast beef,” he whispers. “It’s the only thing Gran knows how to cook well. Grandpa was a chef, and she’s been on her own since he died, so she’s never had to cook anything else. But she’s been learning more since I’ve got here.”

I shrug like he does. “I think I’ll live.”

“Good to hear.”

Simon leads me to the small dining room table. When I go to the left side, Simon grabs my hand and drags me to the right. I jolt slightly. Wow, that’s bold for him. Not that I’m complaining. I sit next to him as Ruth brings out a platter of delicious smelling meat and mash potatoes. Simon immediately shovels the food on his plate, licking his lips like a starving animal. I on the other hand take only a few slices delicately just like my mother taught me. But Ruth gives me an odd look.

“Are you not hungry, Baz?” she asks.

“Um, no, I am,” I reply slowly.

“Then please, take as much as you like. I always make a lot because of Simon’s endless appetite.”

Simon rolls his eyes, speaking with a mouth full of roast beef. “I’m a growing boy!”

“Growing monster more like it,” Ruth chuckles.

Huh, okay. I decide to be polite and take some more. Dinner proper starts, and it's...weird. My family is never this talkative at supper. We’re mostly silent and sullen. But the Salisburies are the exact opposite. Ruth and Simon chat, though Simon has trouble responding through all the the food in his mouth. (The boy has zero manners. It’s adorable.)

“So, Baz,” Ruth asks, facing me, “how’s school for you? I’ve only ever heard about it from Simon and Miss Penelope.”

No one’s ever asked my opinion of school either. I shrug. “It’s alright. Not my favourite place to be, of course. I think English is my favourite subject.” I tap Simon’s foot under the table. His breath hitches slightly, and he flashes me only a small smile. But it’s enough.

“Glad to hear so. Simon loves English too. He’s always eager to get to first period for Miss Possibelf’s class every morning.”

I flick my eyes over to Simon. His cheeks are flushed as he bites into his roast beef.

“Hm, glad to hear I’m not the only one who loves literature.” I let my voice drawl a bit, hopefully enough for Simon to notice but not Ruth. He doesn’t look up from his food, but I feel his toe tap my foot. And once again, it’s enough. Everything Simon does seems to be enough for me.

“I’m just glad Simon’s adjusting to Watford,” Ruth sighs. “It’s not easy moving schools most of the way through the year.”

Simon sighs in return. They sound almost exactly alike. Though Simon is more exasperated. “I told you, Gran, I’m fine. My grades are much better than last term.”

“There’s a good reason for that.” Ruth aggressively stabs her beef, and Simon looks sad as he nods slightly. This is the only crack in Ruth's kind demeanour I’ve seen all day. It’s strange, and the curious brainiac in me wants to know more. But the sensible part knows to just keep eating my food.

“Hey,” Simon chirps, “did I tell you about the kid who gave himself a wedgie in gum class yet?”

Ruth’s playful smile immediately returns. “No, I don’t believe you have.”

“Oh man, it was hilarious! Baz you’ll love this too.”

I lean my cheek into my palm. “I’m sure I will.”

Simon launches into the rambling anecdote, using mostly weird noises and illustrative hand gestures instead of words. Ruth and I both laugh along genuinely. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed a family meal in ages. It may be unusual, but it’s certainly not unenjoyable.

Soon enough, dinner is over, and Ruth brings out dessert. They’re sour cherry scones from Pritchard Bakery. Simon takes three immediately and starts slathering butter all over them.

“You like scones?” I ask mockingly.

Simon nods, scone crumbs all around his mouth. “Uh-huh. Gran got me some my first day here. They’re absolutely incredible.”

“My cousin owns the bakery, you know.”

His eyes go impossibly wide. “Really?! Could you get me some free samples?”

I shrug, a playful smile on my face. “Maybe.”

“Simon, you eat enough, you don’t need any more,” Ruth kindly berates. Simon frowns.

“There’s never enough scones, Gran.”

Ruth and I exchange an understanding look. Maybe I will bring him to see Cousin Pritchard before I go though. Something to make him happy before I’m gone.

Soon enough, Simon’s eaten all the scones, the dishes are done, and it’s my time to go. I’m a gentleman, I know when to take my leave. Simon and Ruth walk me out of the house.

“It was lovely having you, Baz,” Ruth says. And I have to admit, I’m a bit taken aback. Most parents and/or guardians aren’t this friendly to me. Dev and Niall’s parents barely acknowledge my existence nowadays, and they’ve known me since I was a baby. It’s a warm feeling I never thought I’d miss.

“Thank you for having me, Ruth,” I reply, smiling graciously.

“Anytime. Simon, feel free to invite him over again.”

Simon smiles sweetly at me, cheeks unabashedly scarlet. “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should meet up before the presentation on Wednesday?”

I nod, hoping my cheeks aren’t as bright. “I think I’d like that.”

Because I would. I regretfully very much would.

“Awesome! See you later!”

My lip twitches up without thinking. “See you.”

I get my helmet on. I don’t rev my engine as loud as usual to be respectful. Simon waves with his entire arm, while Ruth’s looks more like the queen. I salute in return. (That seems to be my thing now. I’ve embraced it.)

As I drive back towards my home, my mind stays with the Salisburies. With nail polish, roast beef, and a sense of peaceful happiness that lingers in me long after the house is in the distance.

I get to the Pitch hill and just sit there, looking up at the looming little bastard. I know what I’m supposed to do. Go back to all the misery there. But fuck that. I turn to the left, not back towards Simon’s, but at least somewhere my father isn’t. Somewhere I can keep this feeling for a little longer. And maybe get really pissed.

———————————————-

“Basilton! Where have you been?!”

If I didn’t already have a migraine, I’d assume my father’s voice had just given me one. Going on a two day bender will do that to you. I stop walking but don’t turn around. Honestly, I look like a wreck right now, and I don’t want him to see it.

“Away,” I say curtly.

“Away where?! We haven’t seen you in days! No calls, no mail. We’ve been worried sick!”

I groan and turn on my heels finally. To my utter surprise, he looks genuinely concerned. His eyes are wide and his hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his hands through it. Huh. Actually worried about where I’ve been. That’s a first.

“Well, I’m home now,” I sigh. “Happy?”

“Certainly not.” He puts his hands on his hips like a pissed off school teacher. “I’ve been getting calls from your school. You’ve missed almost all of your classes, including tests and projects. I thought we had an agreement.”

I whip around, scowling with as much menace as I can muster with a hangover. “No, you gave me an ultimatum. And I refuse to be threatened into doing what you want, Father dearest.”

I start stomping away again, but we Grimms refuse to not have the last word. “Are you sure you haven’t just been...distracted, Basilton?”

I stop halfway up the stairs. The tone of his voice could imply many things, but I have a sinking feeling I know what he means. I chuckle, shaking my head. “Daphne told you about Tuesday, I suppose.”

“That you brought a boy over to our house without our knowledge? Yes. And I find it a bit disrespectful that-”

“That I what?!” I yell, probably louder than I should, considering it’s late at night and I have four younger siblings. “Dare to be gay?! Sorry it’s harder to ignore my sexuality when I’m actually acting on it.”

My father takes a deep breath, something he always does when he’s trying to keep his slipping composure. “Basilton, that is not what I meant.”

“Oh really? So you’re actually okay with me bringing guys around? Maybe I’ll start having big gay nightclub parties in the receiving room.”

I can see my father losing his cool. Bit by bit, his perfect British man composure is slipping. It’s the effect I certainly have these days. “That would not be appropriate, Basil. And I merely meant that maybe this ‘Simon’ is distracting you from your studies and causing your poor grades.”

For a second, I don’t know whether to laugh or be furious. Fire bubbles in my gut, my fingers curling on the bannister. Yup, let’s go with righteous fury. I stomp down the stairs and push my face into his.

“No,” I growl, “Simon is not at fault. You are. You are the catalyst for all the things I’m doing now, Your bullheadedness, your pride, your prejudi-”

“Oh for God’s sake, Basil!” He roars. “For once in your life take some goddamn responsibility for your own actions!”

I step back a bit. I haven’t seen him this outwardly angry in a year, but he’s practically seething. If he was the kind of man to throw a punch, he would have just clocked me. But instead he just stares me down in an attempt to intimidate. That won’t work.

“Fuck you,” I mutter, turning on my heels and stomping towards the door.

“Where are you going?” he calls after me.

“Out!” I turn to glare at him. “And I’ll be back when I feel like it!”

I make sure to slam the door very loudly, hoping my message is clear. I know exactly where I want to go. And who I want to see.

———————————————- 

AN: Is Baz being a total brat here? Yes. Is his bratiness sorta justified? Also yes. Things are complicated. And finally we meet Ruth! I loved reading everyone's comments speculating about Simon's home life cause this was planned from the start lol. But why is Simon living with Ruth? Well, that will be explained shortly. Tune in next time for answers :)

Chapter title is from "Alfie's Song" by Bleachers.

[scoundrels-in-love]

Hey love !! was going to start with 12, but you just answered it... So 22, 24, (what fuck is it the 32?... o.O'), 56, 74 (I saw that you have some in the other ask that you answered ;D) , 75, 78 (since it's your favorite food), 82, 95, 116 (and what), 119, 133 (I know how much you care about them), 135 and 148 (do you even have one? It's okay if you don't)... sorry I'm a curious person :X

22. Where would you like to travel? 

Honestly, nowhere and everywhere. Like, I am anxious and just, I am not sure how I could handle flying, etc. But there are things I want to see. I want to see Venice, when it is crowded and blinding in summer sun and when the rush is over and I can wander through quieter corners and speak to the ancient walls. I want to see Canada, from its vast wilderness to its towns. I want to get to know New Zealand, how its magnificent nature shifts in hues through the seasons. I wish to fly over Lake Michigan... I want to see more of my own homeland, too. And to visit my friends. There is so much that sometimes it aches, so I tell myself that I don’t want it all anyway.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

I do not have a daily routine, which is probably part of all problems I have. But I like the time I can sit down and be with my mom or my friends. To laugh, to discuss world and life for all the bad and good of it, to make stupid jokes, just be myself. That’s best part of my day.

(Seriously what is the 32 LOL wow)

56. Favourite colour?

Black and purple on same spot, followed by silver and green, then blue. Never the neon shades, though.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

A.... Lot. Too many than its sensible. 99% of them are second hand, so they were literally cents, especially in my early childhood. So, yeah, I actually have a huge collection of teddy bears. There’s bunch of owls too (mom’s and my favorite birds) and recently, I acquired cutest black panther plush I call Blueberry (since our word for the berry is more like Blackberry).

75. Favourite animal?

This is hard to narrow down, because I love all animals. But overall, cats always win. Big cats included. And from those, my very top fave is caracal.

It’s medium sized, lives in Africa, Middle East, Central Asia and India. They are incredibly expressive and amazing jumpers (can catch a bird midflight essentially, cause they can leap over 3 meters in air) and honestly, they’re just drop dead gorgeous in every aspect. Plus, they are very intelligent and can be tamed to be used like a hunting partner and are actually very gentle with nomadic tribe children, etc. Due to their adorable ear tufts, they’re often thought to be lynxes, but they’re completely different species and have eight subspecies of their own.

TL;DR - I love them a lot since first time I saw a picture of them.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

I genuinely can’t pick. Any I will eat will be my favorite at that time, LOL. Though recently, local company released apple+plum ice cream on a stick with sweet coating and oh lord it’s absolutely divine.

82. Favourite movie?

This is a hard one, I can’t say I have one by default, but something that has stayed me since childhood and that later made special memories with my mom is Fly Away Home. And Rogue One is a strong contender, in a different way.

95. Last movie you watched?

Steel Rain, a kmovie that left be feeling both frustrated and just empty and sad.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Absolutely. Brandi Carlile - Hard Way Home. A friend linked to me this as unlikely listening that they ended up digging, and honestly same.

119. Favourite book?

Answered here at very bottom!

133. Favourite lyrics right now? 

Booyyyy that’s such a hard pick. Such a hard pick.

But one of the top ones right now are Ten’s New Heroes

“Turn my mess into messagesLearn from the lessonsAnd keep on keep on keep on”

This is something I try to myself, something I try to keep to. Because it’s so hard to do, but so necessary.

The entirety of Halestorm’s I am the Fire for same reason.

And oh boy, I could share so much of Emilie Autumn’s and Nightwish’s lyrics.as well. I will refrain myself, though.

From Nightwish - Nemo“Oh how I wishFor soothing rainAll I wish is to dream againMy loving heartLost in the darkFor hope I'd give my everything“

Honestly, this really depends on my mood and time in my life, but nearly all of my favorite songs in a way have a favorite lyrics of mine.135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I genuinely hate lying and try not to lie, and if I do, it’s kind of white lies/trying to salvage situation or not to be as blunt as I can be. And I forget them really fast as it’s not something I have to keep in mind for continuity purposes. So, probably something along those lines! 148. What’s your favourite quote?Duuuuuuuude. I always end up reading things that I think, wow this is going to be a favorite quote of mine and then I forget it in a blink. I hate it, with passion. Something that’s more of a saying than quote that has stuck with me is “Better later than never” and I think that only shows how much of procrastinator I am. And boy, kdramas are riddled with amazing quotes. Like JBL with “Just because someone cries the loudest does not mean they suffer the most.” -  this is very from my memory and incorrect, but you get the gist. I think it encompasses just how much we like to sweep silent suffering under rug, because dealing with it - as the person suffering and as bystander - but it in no way is lesser, less painful or hard than someone’s who wails their heart out. It reminds to keep us empathy for everyone and just... Yeah.

Thank you again so much for asking!!

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

FarscapeWatch 04: 2.03 ‘Taking the Stone’

We’re back in business, people! Apologies for the long wait, but into season 2 we go for this reaction/review! See notes at the bottom for a full list of my FasrcapeWatch reactions so far :D

2.03 Taking The Stone

Open on Chiana (bestfave) IS THIS A CHIANA EPISODE?

No kidding I ship Chiana and John a lot. I feel it's probably unlikely to happen but ohmy they bring out the best in each other.

He calls her "Chi" uwu!

Uh she literally cut herself open because he said he was busy wow. Crichton is a twat.

Ooh she stole Aeryn's ship and Aeryn is PISSED. I love how she and Chiana just don't get on. Drama is the best.

So Chiana goes down to a planet by herself to investigate. Aaand she gets ambushed. Hmm but I'm not sure I buy her not taking a weapon. Altho. She is also impulsive and id-ruled.

AAAH into the episode and John and Aeryn are in THE LONG COATS.

Rygel is also there lol and John and Aeryn give no shits.

Ofc they're going to go look for Chi although Aeryn cannot b a with that.

So they run in thinking Chiana is held captive but actually she's doing some kind of sport test of strength lol. Her hair is pink now and looks A MAZING. Aeryn is so aggressive off the bat lol I love it.

Hm so. First time back seeing John and Aeryn's S2 dynamic and once again...he's not asking things of her, he's giving her commands, and I'm not super comfortable with it. It feels a bit imperialist. e.g. here John feels Chiana is mad at him so he tells Aeryn to talk to her to try and bring her back, even though Chiana has said she doesn't want to go back with them, and Aeryn and Chiana already evidently don't really get on or see eye to eye. That's a bit much from someone who's meant to be the emotionally intelligent core of the crew.

So Rygel has fucked off and left JohnAeryn and Chiana on the planet..which seems like a funeral/cemetery, or at least it is where they’ve landed. Thematic, hm. He's robbed some graves too, as you do.

So Aeryn catches up with Chiana, naturally we’re all underground, hmm, with death as a theme, I wonder if this is going to mirror a death-and-rebirth story, and Chiana asks her to stay! Ah I love how impulsive and nutty she is. Also needy. Possibly actually damaged. This character speaks to me so much. Hah. Aeryn responds a bit like Supernanny just going along with it to let the child wear themself out.

[A note on taking the stone - it’s a jump into a deep pit, using the power of faith/science/a technological trick to save your own life in a parachute before you hit the bottom. The society on this planet do it when they reach a certain age as a coming of age ritual, and Chiana has changed her style to look like them, and is learning to do it too (with the help of mind-altering drugs and mediation, colege much?), either as a test to herself, or as a maybe-suicide/danger/devil-may-care exercise, as she has just lost her brother, that was her realisation that John had no time for in the beginning of the episode.]

So we're on a bit, and hmm. I'm getting a parents and kids vibe with this episode. I genuinely can't tell though who we're supposed to root for. John is central, but is it John-was-right-Father-knows-best, or will it be John-has-to-learn-different-POVs? I'm hoping the latter, but I'm wary, Farscape has pulled the rug out from under me before. Aeryn has argued that if Chiana wishes to stay in this new society, it's her choice; to me, that's reasonable, but is the show framing it as something only an alien woman who doesn't understand how Rational People work would think? Hmm. I wish Zhaan was here, she's a character who generally can overrule John instead of being pushed to the back by him as Aeryn and Chiana sometimes fall into; ironic, of course, as they are physically strong, martial women. Chiana too has brought up her captivity trauma and that John said she could leave at any time and now appears to be reneging on that, and that's portrayed as the sneaky, silly young character trying to trick and twist the words of Our Reasonable Hero. I'm wondering if it's just a values dissonance between '99 and 2017.

Cool plot though. A suicide cult where people get high and risk their lives rather than die at 22, as they do, starting to waste away and rot while still living due to radiation in their natural habitat; perhaps a bit of a drug 101 afterschool special vibe to it, but executed well and with great sets. Interesting to see plots shifting to focus on the three humanoids too, I wonder if this will become a trend this season. D'Argo, Rygel, Pilot and Zhaan really don't have a lot to do this time round, although I guess they all had significant focus in the previous episode while Aeryn and 'Chi' were somewhat neglected.

Ultimately of course Chiana is successful and comes out gaining a new lease on life. John has gained some perspective, though it’s unclear if he actually understood Chiana’s POV or not, and the three stooges up in the ship managed to convince Rygel to give back the treasure he stole. Uh...great, I guess? Solid episode in general though, production values feel to be up, Chiana’s new design and in fact most of them are pretty solid - and throwback, watching in 2017 - and the interplay between the actors and characters seems more fitting than it was in the first season. Ace.

Some general points: John is starting to become a little more convincing as a lead again, among stronger personalities. This was most convincing in 1.16 A Human Reaction and the last four-episode arc of season 1, and at brief points earlier in that season, but it's been very iffy. I'm unsure, because I don't know the writing/writers so well yet, whether that's intentional, or just a sign of the times on writing focus. I don't feel, that is, that the kind of character that John is would be *the* obvious focal character if the show was made from scratch and debuted in 2016-17 - it's a bit as if, say, Agents of Shield had debuted as a show centered around and focused on Fitz rather than how they actually did it. Still, in any case, it's interesting to see the evolution of character.

Some brief points from season 1-2, as this will be my first comeback reaction I'm posting in the new order: A Human Reaction, Durka Returns, and Nerve were my big turning points as to how I was reacting to the series. Introducing Chiana was a big plus; instantly becoming one of my top 2 favourite characters, and immediately coming up with ways to make her central - even at the apparent expense of fan fave and seeded lead woman Aeryn! - was a brave and risky strategy on the part of the showrunners that I was pretty impressed by. Again to analogize to shows I've also seen, it was as if upon first introducing Faith to Buffy season 3, they pushed Willow back from the off in favour of focusing on her and what she could do. She fits neatly into the credits, too, here's hoping she sticks around for a long time.

D'Argo has gone up in my estimations, actually, all the characters have. They'd probably at least average on a 5-6 out of ten now, which is a big step up from the 2-3 D'Argo and Rygel were on earlier in season 1.

Things I don't like as much: the Talyn (sp?) and Crais stuff feels a bit Xena and a bit overdone, though that could be a case of the Seinfeld is Unfunny trope (side note, I actually have never found that show funny tho...awks), that is, aspects of a show seeming unoriginal now because since it aired - or even debuted - such elements, they've become much more common as to seem stereotypical and tired in many forms of media. I don't like the Crais/Aeryn ship teasing, especially in light of the recent Hollywood developments, it seems a little close to the bone and aggressive, one-sided, and presumptive of Crais. Presumably he's going to reform and win me over, but I'm not on team Crais right now. I'm also slightly alarmed at where Zhaan's character arc seems to be going, though unsurprised that she had to be nerfed, she was pretty great at everything in season 1, with even her shades of not quite sanity proving to be an advantage in some situations. Also, I'm unsure if it's intentional or symbolic, but her new costume is hella ugly.

Right, those aside, recap time then!

CHARACTER BEATS

JOHN

Lots of stuff here. For John this episode is a lot about leadership and personal connection. John must learn that one leadership style does not work for all - not that I would even say this John IS the leader, although he's the show's designated lead and does TAKE the lead. I'm not 100% on whether we're meant to root for John or not. This episode sees him acting somewhat parental towards Chiana which I - and she, probably - find a bit patronising given that as far as has been established thus far, they're both adults of a similar age. For me, this episode is John learning socialisation and how people of different kinds tick, as well as that sometimes you just can't win people over or bend them to your will - quite a good lesson to see our white male lead learning.

CHIANA

Lots of stuff in this one for Chiana too, which is good, it is a Chiana episode after all. A few early notes on Chi - easily my favourite character right now, being exactly the kind I root for in general. I love a wildcard, and Chiana thus far has been about the definition of a chaotic neutral, with occasional shades of broken bird thrown in, hinting at a traumatic past to make her become this way. Or she could just not be neurotypical, or just an alien, who knows. Now, I definitely didn't think Chiana wanted to kill herself in this episode as it was hinted at and discussed by some of the characters, she just didn't care, she was a risk-taker and upset and traumatised. It's slight, but there's a difference. Chiana realises in this episode her brother has died and reacts by acting out and essentially going on a bender with drugs, getting high, and essentially changing her whole style and motivations, culminating with a risky athletic feat that could kill her if she failed. Aka, textbook response to trauma by certain extroverted and already risk-taking individuals. It was great to see, and also unexpectedly positive to see Aeryn sticking up for her - of course, just using cold logic, rather than emotions - and Chiana, too, showing willing to make a connection with Aeryn, after generally the two being mutually hostile these last few episodes so far. Great stuff.

ZHAAN

Zhaan's a little quiet on this one, still inside herself a bit, or trolling? She seems more content to let a snarky, bitchy side out this time round - perhaps due to a season of people generally not taking her advice and then winding up in the shit.

D'ARGO

D'Argo really doesn't do much here, slipping back to season 1 characterization a bit. I'll give him a pass, as he's perhaps recuperating from the previous episode's traumatic experiences.

RYGEL

Rygel really doesn't have a lot to do here. Stealing is wrong, and he likes eating bugs. I wonder if this subplot was shoehorned in at a late stage because the actors complained, or something else fell through? On the plus side, it leaves main focus unequivocally on the Chiana storyline.

AERYN

A good storyline for Aeryn too, she gets to be athletic with a mini fight scene, she gets to be the voice of reason, and she also makes a mini connection with Chiana, after a while of the two sniping at each other. She and John also work well as friends, comrades - just as a two, not as part of a larger unit - and maybe something more? This episode has shades of a buddy-cop drama with John and Aeryn as detective partners, as well as hints of them being dysfunctional parents to an acting-out and rebellious kid. Aeryn is moving to be more central in this season, and I'm intrigued to see what comes of that change.

PLOT POINTS AS OF 2.03

A little confusing. Everyone is dealing with their own trauma while still running away from the Peacekeepers, led by new creepy (telepathic?) baddie Scorpius. We've had a D'Argo episode so far and a Chiana episode, so perhaps everyone is up to have solo episodes for a while to get this season established? Not much hint of an overarching plot yet which is nicely lampshaded by Chiana in-episode when she asks Crichton what they're even doing up there on Moya - smooth. This feels a little like a re-pilot, repositioning who the characters are and how they relate to each other.

WHAT THIS EPISODE ADVANCED:

Chiana's trauma. Chiana's character development. Chiana's relationships with John and with Aeryn. Aeryn and John's relationship. Aeryn and John's norms, ethics, and approaches to problem solving differing. John revealing himself to have a reckless side, which seems role reversal from earlier in season 1 wherein John was cautious and reserved and Aeryn cold but quick to use violence and inflicting her will as a quick-fix solution.

CHARACTER RANKING AS OF 2.03:

1) Chiana 2) Aeryn 3) John 4) Zhaan 5) D'Argo 6) Rygel 7) Pilot 8) Crais

And that’s it for this episode of FarscapeWatch! Check back in my Farscape reviews masterlist section on my blog or follow my farscapewatch tag to catch my episode reviews, as they come! Or feel free to give me a follow to catch all of my stuff ;)

Also, if you’re enjoying these, feel free to shoot me a message or comment :3