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deathbxnny · 6 months ago

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May I please request Aeon of Cultivation! S/o with Emanator Yanqing?

The Aeon of Cultivation isn’t like Abundance. Whereas the Abundance is like the uncontrolled growth of a forest, the Cultivation is like a farm. Something carefully tended to and guided to grow while also allowing for the pruning of what a person doesn’t need.

Sorry, wanted to write a quick description of Cultivation so it’d be easier to understand , but the Aeon! S/O walks among people because they themselves want to know who they give their power to. Because before they ascended to Aeonhood, they want to be good, so they want to choose good people to give their power to.

On the Xianzhou, they meet Yanqing and, after getting to know him, make him their first Emanator as a way to help him grow his own skills (he doesn’t know he’s an Emanator until he finds that he can outpace the general or Fu Xuan tells him or something)

Thank you for all the awesome stories you share here. Hope this makes it before all the Yanqing angst returns.

Hey there, Anon!! I absolutely love this request, so I hope my little one-shot will do it justice!!<33

Content: light-hearted stuff for once, unserious, fluff, reader is an Aeon and Yanqing doesn't know about it at first, established relationship, Jing Yuan being Jing Yuan, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

Growing into glory. (Yanqing x Aeon!Gn!Reader)

"You know... I've been feeling odd lately." "Odd? How so?" "Well... would you believe me if I told you that I was able to beat Master Jing Yuan in a duel earlier today?" You hid a small, knowing smirk behind a fan, eyes turned away to slyly glance at the setting sun that was bidding it's last goodbyes over the ocean's horizon. You were both bathed in a warm, orange glow, your thumb idly running over his knuckles with a chuckle.

"Perhaps all the training has finally simply paid off?" You asked after a small pause, yet your lover didn't seem all too convinced. His nose wrinkled, eyes narrowing in disagreement as his head followed your gaze. "No... at least not entirely... I think there is more to it. I have never even gotten close to beating him before." You shrug at his words before you placed your fan down onto the wooden table and raised your teacup to your lips with a hum, unable to hide your amused grin anymore.

"Then I suppose that the seal stuck to your forehead did not solve the issue?"

Yanqing deadpanned at your words, his fingers ghosting over it absently with a shake of his head. He had a long day behind him, one filled with chaos after Jing Yuan for a moment believed that he was possessed again. And to say that the young Lieutenant did not appreciate having a seal slapped onto his forehead in panic by HuoHuo would be an understatement.

"I'm afraid not." He said, the annoyance so clear it made you nearly snort. "I believe he just did it out of spite." "Ofcourse." You agreed easily, enjoying your lover's cluelessness a little too much. You knew it was perhaps wrong to hide the truth from him... but you also enjoyed the smug and proud look on his face, as he most likely replayed his mentors defeat in his mind. As the Aeon of cultivation themselves, you couldn't help but think that letting him figure it out on his own would be the best way to go about it. It will help him grow further after all.

"Ugh... how am I supposed to get this seal off now? HuoHuo said that I shouldn't take it off in case I am possessed... but I'm not!" The boy pulled on it, wincing a little when it pulled his skin with it. You smiled a little, hand reaching out to replace his, before you just simply slid it off with ease. "There." You hummed and ignored the dumbfounded look on Yanqing's face as you decided to retire for the day after a swift and sly goodbye.

He watched you leave for a while, his hand holding onto the piece of Shuen paper in thought. You shouldn't have been able to take it off... but then again, there were many things about you that often left him wondering if you were hiding something after all, just like the general apparently believed.

It began with your rather mysterious origins on the Xianzhou. You never spoke of your past, and in a way, he supposed that that was one of the many things that made him interested in you in the first place. You believed in his strength, in his growth, always so awfully wise for the young few years you were supposed to have, and yet even after a while into courtship, he still felt this air of mystery surrounding you. One last detail to complete everything he knew about you.

But... perhaps he was looking too much into it... right?

The days went on in rather... interesting ways. He found himself growing a bigger appetite, often times ending with you and him sitting in restaurants near the ocean side whilst you watched him feast away with a content look in your eyes. All on you, ofcourse.

And then there was his sudden near inhuman strength he never had before. He was able to pick up bolders twice his size, swing heavier swords with ease. His senses seemed sharper, feet quicker, breath more steady, and even with longer lasting stamina. Despite the concern that ran through him at all these changes, he still found himself rather open to it in a way. Perhaps everything he had done over the years was indeed finally paying off! Or maybe... an Aeon had simply blessed him at last? He didn't know which was better... or worse.

Jing Yuan, on the other hand, seemed less impressed by the whole ordeal. Something he only let you know one day whilst you watched Yanqing partake in another much harder training with concerning growth in his abilities. Well, concerning to anyone but you two. "So... what exactly was your reason for doing this?" The older man hummed after a long moment of silence, his sly eyes glancing at you from the rim of his teacup, which you met with an amused smile of your own. It wasn't surprising that he caught on eventually.

"He... is deserving of it." The answer was short, criptic, perhaps not made for non-Aeon's to understand, and yet the general still tilted his head in a silent demand of elaboration. You couldn't help but chuckle at his confidence. "I've traversed amongst the people in search of someone worthy of growth, someone who can appreciate the cultivation needed to hone one's abilities for the good of others." "Is that why you made him a lover, Aeon of cultivation?" Ah, so that's what it was. You figured that he'd grow suspicious of your intentions, that small narrow of his eyes making you press your lips together and shake your head.

"No. My love for him is not relevant to my decision." "Then that's all I need to hear." There was another long pause, one filled with the both of you watching Yanqing fight against some cloud knights in the distance of the training grounds, whilst the sun was beginning to set. Whilst you were happy with your decision, you still couldn't help but begin to wonder what the blonde may be thinking of all of this. Or rather, what he'd think of you once he realizes what you were. You were afraid of his reaction.

"... Are you going to tell him?" You asked, making Jing Yuan hum in thought before shaking his head with a small grin. "No. I'll let him figure it out on his own." He simply said, and you felt the underlying bitterness in those indifferent words. Yanqing apparently smugly celebrated his glory over his own mentor for everyone to see and hear. It was no surprise that the man would use this as a teaching moment of the sort. Even if just to spite him.

"And besides... I'm glad you decided to be different than those that came before you." You gave the man a surprised look at the praise, yet couldn't thank him when the young lieutenant came running your way with a call of your name. You handed him a silken towel to distract from your aching heart, watching as he quickly wiped away the sweat on his forehead with a wide grin. "How did I do today? I did great, didn't I, Master?" "Indeed you have, Yanqing..." A knowing smirk rested on the man's face lazily before he took the opportunity to retire early for the day, leaving you and your lover alone. There was an akward, one-sided silence between the both of you, one that the usually dense blonde noticed immideatly. He paused his boasting to stare at your rather nervous expression that you tried to desperately hide behind a fan.

He had noticed that you've been acting out of character lately, your usual calm and rather talkative demeanor replaced with something more solemn and guilty. At first, he believed that you were simply feeling ill with the change of the weather on the Xianzhou... but lately, he was beginning to wonder if you were perhaps getting worried sick over his sudden change instead. He knew it was unnatural and that he should perhaps ask the Master Diviner to help him... but at the same time, he couldn't help but near selfishly want to stay this way in hopes of impressing you. He wanted to be strong for you. Someone you can speak of and boast about with pride. Yet when he saw the way you nervously averted your eyes after he asked you if you were okay, he determined that it wasn't worth the heartache you must've been experiencing.

That's what eventually led him to stand in front of an unimpressed Fu Xuan, as he spoke of his woes and odd newfound powers in hopes of finally getting to the bottom of this mystery. Her arms were crossed tightly, a brow raised, whilst she secretly questioned how a young boy like him could be this dense. They were standing in the generals office, said man idly resting in his grand chair with a content, smug look on his face that made the woman's temper just rise more. He definitely already knew what was going on. They both figured it out from the start, and yet the older man saw amusement in teaching the boy a lesson one way or another. Even if, in her opinion, at least, it was in nonsensical ways like these.

"- So, with all that said, I hereby humbly request for your help, lady Fu Xuan." The boy concluded with a nod of his head, making the woman deadpan harder before turning to give Jing Yuan a long, hard look. The disappointment and annoyance in her gaze were clear, yet the man chose to ignore it by coincidentally taking a sip of his tea with a smug smile. "... I must say, I'm starting to question many things about your leadership lately." "Hm? Sorry, I can't hear you from all the way over here." Sighing in exasperation, she looked at Yanqing again, who was now beginning to fidget a little nervously at their rather indifferent reactions to all of this.

"You're an Emanator of cultivation. That's all there is to it. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do to reverse it either, if that is your next request." "Huh?" "Don't tell me you're standing too far away to hear me as well, boy." Yanqing blinked once, then twice, before looking down at the calloused palms of his hands. Everything seemed to make sense to him in that moment, as he had heard of that rather new Aeon before and especially about what their abilities entailed... yet there was still one thing he couldn't make sense of. "... How did this happen? I don't ever recall meeting them."

Fu Xuan rubbed her temples in defeat. "Have you never once questioned your own lover's origins?" She asked, hoping it was enough to finally wake him up. And it seemed to be the case when the boy's eyes lit up in sudden realisation, his eyes widening in near disbelief. And yet, that also made sense. All of the signs, all of the little hints... that's the small detail he was missing all along! "I... Thank you, lady Fu Xuan, for your help! Now if you'll excuse me..." The two adults watched the blonde sprint out of the generals office, the silence deafening before it was filled with Jing Yuan's chuckling. Fu Xuan gave him an unimpressed glare.

"I'm unsure of how to interpret the grand lesson you so have bestowed on him this time." The man waved his hand dismissively, eyes turned down to the paperwork laying on his desk. "I just hope it will teach him not to boast anymore over something that he didn't achieve on his own." "So I assume you are still angered over him beating you in that duel?" "Ah how odd... it seems like I can't hear you once more, Fu Xuan..."

The ocean waves gently crashed against the stone wall under the pavillion you were sitting in, your lover uncharacteristically quiet as he sat opposite you in intense silence. His hand grasped onto yours reassuringly, trying to remind you that he wasn't angry despite him now clearly knowing who you were, or rather, what you were. You felt nervous, guilty, and perhaps even more scared now. Yet you were unable to look at him as your gaze simply followed the reflection of the moonlight that spread across the ocean surface in the distance. Your lips trembled as you spoke, voice small in a shaky whisper that made his gaze soften and melt even more.

"Are you... afraid of me now? Angry? Enraged?"

Yanqing shook his head, which made you finally look at him. "Not at all. If anything, I'm grateful for this gift you've given me, my dove." You tried to find a lie in his words, yet you couldn't even dare it. He was sincere, truthful. You hummed weakly, a small smile on your lips. "I see... that makes me glad to hear..." A comfortable silence filled the air again, this time one that made you relax and the stress you've been carrying around for a while now finally subside. You worried for nothing and were thankful that your judgment was right.

You chose well indeed.

Alrighttt... I'm not sure if this was good or not, but I really hope it was good enough for you, Anon!! And thank you again for your great request. I had fun writing this, even if I'm not too confident about it.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr #hsr yanqing #hsr Yanqing x reader #Yanqing x reader #Yanqing #honkai star rail yanqing

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lucyskywalker · 8 days ago

Text

This will be critical towards 600 strikes. Don't like, don't read.

"Oh, but Dyomedes stabbed a god..."

The last time I checked this story is not about Dyomedes and the God in question wasn't Poseidon.

The context and message behind the myth is completely different. Actually, the message behind Dyomedes duel with Ares and Aphrodite is the opposite. It's to establish one of the main themes of the epic: how human choices and efforts become insignificant when fate and immortals are in control.

Dyomedes myth only proofs that if Poseidon wanted Odysseus dead for good, he would be dead. End of the story.

Odysseus was punished by his Hubris. Like Lesser Ajax was before him, like Niobe and her children also were slain by Apollo and Artemis.

It wasn't just a torturing journey for some petty reason.

It was a lesson.

And when he learned that lesson, he went back home.

Using Dyomedes to defend what happend in 600 strikes is literally absurd.

"Oh, but Poseidon deserved it."

The fact you say that proofs u don't know shit about Greek Mythology and how it is deeply rooted in how this ancient society worked and worshipped those gods.

Poseidon didn't deserve any of this. Not within this myth.

Odysseus was the one who committed Hubris, over and over again during his journey.

Odysseus was the one who believed to be above the gods due his witty and cunning nature.

Odysseus was the one who put his crew in danger because of his own pride more than once.

Odysseus was the one to harm Poseidon's son and left him alive in an act of mockery during the Odyssey.

Even during the retelling of Jorge in Epic the musical, many things Odysseus have done are pretty much debatable and are the roots of all his problems.

Even in Jorge's retelling, he stablishs angering the gods is not a good idea. Like in the song Munity, when Eurylochos kills Apollo's cows (or Hellio's).

Even before it, he established that not hearing them or going against them is not smart choice.

My Goodbye and Remember Me.

Odysseus tought he was wiser than Athena for showing mercy. But the fact is... he wasn't and he paid the price for believing such thing. Which can also be depicted as a consequence of Hubris.

It happend again during his entire journey later on. Odysseus choose to go to the underworld to avoid Poseidon. He choose to sacrifice six of his remaining men to not face Poseidon.

Because Poseidon is that much of a threat. It is a force of nature so powerfull, Odysseus cannot expect to face it.

Later, in Thunder Bringer, once again we are reminded of how powerfull, mighty and terrifying the gods truly are

Making some kind of final battle between Odysseus and one of the eldest gods, where he ends not only torturing Poseidon, but also commanding him, and somehow gets out alive, not only goes against all his journey lessons and everything the Odyssey is about, but it is also extreamly ooc of Jorge's own writing.

Odysseus never rellied on strength and a face to face battle to win.

Actually, he is "a warrior of the mind". He rellies on strategies and deceptions. He was never meant to be like Herakles nor Achilles.

And be helped by the ghosts of his dead crew? When he is pretty much the reason why they are, uk, dead? Even if they were willing to help, how did they left the Underworld? By a bus of ghosts?

What is Hades doing? Throwing a party?

I'm not even going to debate the jetpack stuff.

You can say whatever you want to apologize the writing be it "the fates wanted that way, so it doesnt matter", "he won because of Ares's blessing".

Whatever. You just crossed the line of an adaptation to a straigh up fanfiction.

Study the classics about the tale you so claim to love instead of saying so many things with no basis with so much pride.

#juli rumbles #if dyonisus murdered an entire crew of pirates who dared trying enslaving him #you can bet Poseidon would make Ithaca become the second Atlantis after being tortured and commanded by a mortal #im salty about it #process me #specially towards the fandom disrespecting poseidon #epic the vengeance saga #epic the musical #it is critical be warned #but it is not hatred #i loved the songs #but like an adaptation? nah. it doesnt work #and the arguments to justify it are - with all honesty - straigh up bullshit

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hotpinkstars · 9 months ago

Text

-> everything about her was a lie

synopsis -> you knew ei had her secrets, and you did too. but what you didn't know was that you weren't even with her.

warnings -> angst, some crying, ei might be ooc but i had this idea and i just had to go with it... comfort at the end thoooo! i got inspired for the title by a writing prompt shhhhhh

w/c -> 3.0k

500 years.

it’s been 500 years since you fought side by side with raiden ei and raiden makoto. the cataclysm- the event that not only killed people of society,

but killed archons, too. and one of those killed were ei’s sister.

you were there when she witnessed her sisters dying breath. you were there to hold ei as makoto's heartbeat slowly faded away. and you were there as long as she needed you to be afterwards.

you were her lover for centuries beforehand.

until, she locked herself in the plane of euthymia, to pursue eternity and show no mind to the chaos destroying inazuma. the raging storms, the vision hunt decree, inazuma was a horrific place to live.

you never necessarily understood the reason why ei decided to close off from the real world and enter a state of eternal meditation. you never understood her status, no matter how many times yae miko would explain it to you. she was somebody you did not understand, despite your age and your wisdom.

you understand what people coming and going is. you’ve seen birth, and you’ve seen death, all in a never-ending cycle. out with the old, in with the new. you’ve seen the fashion trends over the past few decades, and you remember nearly everything since the cataclysm.

but all you know is that ever since miko showed ei how to place her consciousness in objects, she created the plane of euthymia. sometimes, you wonder if she’s forgotten about you, and everything you’ve done before way back when. you wonder if she still recalls all of the moments you’ve shared together, all of the hugs and kisses and love. if she can still recall the way sleeping in each others embrace felt.

you wonder if she can even feel.

you wondered a lot of things. that was, until she had come out of her rest when the traveler arrived in inazuma. you’d watched from afar, unamused, but also slightly alarmed by her sudden appearance. it’s been so long… part of you wanted to go down there and see what would happen after the duel occurred. yae miko came to stand next to you, giggling a little bit.

“ah, poor traveler. i wonder if they’ll ever realize just how strong their opponent is,” miko huffed. “when shall mortals learn? or, unless, they aren’t a mortal?”

you nodded, comprehending that possibility. “i doubt they’re mortal. mortals understand who to mess with and who not to mess with. they’re so timid, they won’t even approach a treasure hoarder, nevertheless a god.”

miko patted your back with a book before walking down the cliff the two of you observed at. “i’m heading off now, i expect you’ll join me soon?”

“well, where are you going?” you turn over your shoulder, eyeing the pink haired fox.

“back to the tree. the shrine maidens seemed lost this morning. i need to help them out.”

“yes, i’ll come soon. i’d like to get a closer look on whats going on, and maybe attempt to resalvage things between me and ei. it’s not often she comes out of her conscience,” you end, as a gust of wind blows through your hair and makes the branches of the surrounding trees dance. “if, per say, that’s even her.”

miko stops in her tracks, back still faced to you. “i almost forgot you two were lovers. that was eras ago. many centuries. i’m surprised you still remember.”

“i remember an extent of things. i remember when you were new to the city, lady guuji. ah, so small you were, your ears seemed to flop down on you. go on now, i should start towards the city.”

yae simply chuckled before waving goodbye. you waved back, starting your short trek to the inner city.

it’s been a while since you’ve been here, walking the streets of inazuma. normally, stall owners would load your arms and bags with items of gratitude, but not today. today, shops were closed, and people hid in their homes with fear. you couldn’t blame them, the almighty shogun coming out of hiding was one thing, but for her to be actively attacking a wandering traveler was another. nobody wanted to be her next victim, for you yourself even knew nobody and their mothers would survive even a single hit from her blade.

as you come upon the battlefield, you see random passersby looking for drama, and the traveler lying on the ground with their floating companion frantically tapping at their arm.

you stop, in clear view to the rest of the people surrounding the traveler. the floating human seemed to pick up that you were important, due to the vision hanging off your belt. she squealed at you, motioning for you to come over and help the traveler. before you started to move, you lock eyes with the purple haired woman.

ei.

but was that really ei? she seemed too menacing to be the calm, gentle woman you once knew. you nodded at her, and she nodded back before simply disappearing into thin air.

the next day was a blur. you walked back to the same spot at the same time as yesterday, only to see everything as clear as it was the day after. the streets bustled with liveliness, shop owners attempting to sell people everything and anything they can. you, yourself, had little bottles of dango milk in a bag on one arm and a loaf of fresh baked bread in the other, due to the vendors admiration and kindness. you thanked each one of them with a smile and a little tip, because you felt bad taking their things without them getting any pay.

you put everything in your arms down on a nearby bench before walking towards the statue that stood tall and proud in the middle of the city, sighing as you notice two more visions being put up in the span of the week.

you walked up the ramp and touched the statue, seeing if it would cause any such reaction to bring your past lover back. you had an idea- try to unlodge one of the visions out of the crevasses.

when you did that, a purple glow shone behind you as a blade was put to your back. you could feel the electricity through your clothes, but you simply laugh in amusement and turn around to be met with the one and only raiden shogun.

ei.

or, so you thought.

you never necessarily knew a puppet was created to rule in ei’s place. she was a mirror image, no difference to the real person. just a difference in her personality. did puppets even have personalities?

“long time no see, ei,” you smile, showing your hands, coming up empty. she lowered her blade when she realized you had taken no vision. “how have things been all these centuries?”

she looked at you, taking you to a more secluded area of inazuma. it seemed, as for being a puppet, she had a good sense of who you are. maybe she was coded to be that way. you’ve noticed the aggression she’s showed to miko in the past though, which you thought was kind of wack.

“they’ve certainly been… rather peaceful, being alone in meditation,” she started, putting a light hand on your shoulder.

her touch didn’t feel right, but you brushed it off.

“i’ve missed you. i thought you left, hence why i never came to look for you.”

you giggle, taking the hand off of your shoulder and holding it. “i’ve missed you too. the bed has felt very cold without you beside me all these years. to say i have gotten used to it would be a lie.”

she nodded, removing her hand. “would you like to walk around with me for a little while? i haven’t seen the city in a long time.”

“oh, of course. i could also take you to see yae miko, if you’d like. she still talks about you pretty often.”

and then the two of you went off, hand in hand. but hers felt rather stiff. once again, you brushed it off with a sigh.

“miko, have you noticed anything… different about ei recently? that is, if you’ve seen her,” you turn around from assisting a shrine maiden and looking at the fox, raising an eyebrow.

she shrugs. “all of my encounters with her were when you were with me. i do not recall running into her alone.”

you get back to work, thoroughly explaining to a lost maiden on how the tree works. must be a newbie, you thought, maybe someone miko brought on not too long ago. you knew she had a tendency for finding new maidens, and sending the elder ones off on their own with a hefty sum of mora to allow them to settle.

“she seemed stiff today. she didn’t seem as genuine as she usually was, or at least back all those years ago. have you caught onto that too?”

“yes, i have. i’m as lost as you are, y/n,” miko puts a gentle hand on your cheek. “but you might not be able to go back to the past, you know. theres always that lingering possibility that she’s moved on long ago.”

you shuddered at that thought. the woman you’ve spent decades, centuries, millenniums with, to just move on? you put that to the back of your mind before smiling lightly at miko. she was able to sense your pain after having said that sentence, but she didn’t bother to pry. it wasn’t her spot.

“well… i guess that could happen…” you removed mikos hand, walking to the edge of the cliff, taking a seat. miko followed, sitting down next to you, overlooking the horizon. “i just hope she’s not trying to fake a relationship to make me happy. she remembers me, but she doesn’t remember much about the time we’ve spent together. i’d ask her about our wedding, and she was barely able to recall.”

you unclip the mini keychain stringing down from your vision. “she’s not wearing her matching one, either. she’d normally wear it on her hip.” the keychain was a gorgeous gold with purple feathers weaved through the chains, with a purple fading into lavender feather danging from the bottom of it. you put it close up to your chest before sighing, tears threatening to spill. miko pulled you into an embrace, allowing those tears to spill, and holding you while you mourned.

mourned over the fact that your wife is no longer your wife.

mourned over the woman you once loved.

mourned over a relationship that couldn’t be fixed or brought back together.

mourned over the lies that were about to be revealed.

you awoke to a groggy feeling. it felt like you took too much benadryl- you didn’t even think you had it in you to get up.

you look over to your side, seeing the small bottle left on your nightstand. you pick it up, twirling it around in your hands, before reading the label.

hi, dear y/n, if you’re wondering why you’re so tired, well…

i had decided to give you this medication to help you clear your mind. do you recall anything from last night? or the previous night?

you have your long-term memories, but i allowed myself to let things slip that weren’t for your ears, so i had our wonderful alchemist bring up a potion to confuse you just a little bit. this will wear off by tonight, so do not worry about being this way forever.

sincerely, miko.

you groaned, forcefully putting the bottle back down on your side table before rolling over and forcing yourself to get up. once you get up, you slide on a pair of slippers and go make breakfast. you found it rather hard to recall certain recipes, so you stuck with tamago (eggs) instead.

as you ate, you had a weird flashback to the night before. miko said this was guaranteed to remove all memory from yesterday, but you can still remember the things she said as you cried into her arms.

and one of those statements stuck out.

“you’re currently with the shogun, her puppet, but you’ll figure that out soon.”

your eyes widen as you leave your plate abandoned, finding that bottle and rushing out the door to where you’d normally meet “ei.” once you got there, you spotted miko and the puppet conversing. when you approach, miko looks rather surprised, and the puppet seemed confused.

“explain the bottle, miko,” you pull it out of your pocket, shoving it at her before clearing your throat.

“‘you’re currently with the shogun, her puppet, but you’ll figure that out soon.’”

miko could only laugh before walking closer to you, bringing you into the real ei’s consciousness.

you never realized how isolated ei really was until you stepped foot in this place. it had no smell, and all you could hear was distant thunder. you looked over to the purple haired woman, who was meditating in midair.

“ei, i brought a visitor,” miko walked closer to her, as she picked up her head and looked over to you. ei’s eyes widened, dropping to the ground and hastily walking towards you.

“...y/n.” ei held your face in her hands gently, but this time it felt genuine.

this was the real ei.

“hello, ei,” you nod, slightly shaking free of her grasp before showing her the keychain worn on your vision. “do you still have yours?”

ei pulled it off her waistband, which was matching to yours, but instead of purple feathers they were teal. “i wouldn’t get rid of it for anything. you see, i’ve thought about you long and hard down here, in my state of eternal meditation. to say i’ve missed you would be an understatement.”

“then why would you trick me into being with your puppet?” you questioned her, in which she sighed and turned around to face the shogun.

“i didn’t know if you’d understand what my motives are, so i sent her up to act like she’s me and that everything could be the way it used to be. because i knew that it would make you happy to see me again,” she turned back around. “but i guess… it went the wrong way.”

“that it did, ei. i knew it wasn’t you, but i didn’t want to believe it. so i stuck with the shogun incase, with just that little chance that it could’ve been you, but not yet warmed up to the new inazuma or me quite yet.”

ei nodded, gripping the keychain just a little bit harder.

“do you think you could forgive me for abandoning you the way i did? i know we were married, and i still remember everything about our relationship, and i still…” ei trailed off, looking up at the purple clouds above. “i still love you, just like i used to.”

you sighed, looking down at her hand, gripping the chain even harder now. “i might be able to. but only if you come out of this place every once in a while to see me. you do not have to be with me the way we used to, but i’d like to see you every so often.” you then turn to miko. “now, you. you know i’m smarter than that to fall for a lie. why would you lie?”

miko laughed once more, setting the bottle into the shoguns arms. “well, i wanted to see how long it would take for you to snap and get over it. really, it was an experiment on if you still held loyalty to the woman you once loved.”

it all clicked in your mind now. you had no idea if ei was in on this, but it started to make sense. it felt cruel but refreshing at the same time. you chuckled, turning away from everyone and taking a few steps forward, watching as lightning struck all around the red piece of land you’re on. how lonely, you thought.

“this is a very isolated place, ei. i couldn’t even imagine how you can enjoy something such as this,” you watch as more lightning strikes, making a fierce sound rumble in the distance. you look down at your vision, then back at the horizon. “and you’ve been here for the past few centuries. i applaud your dedication.”

she nods, laughing. “eternity to me is what the world is. i will fight for eternity forever.”

“i know. that’s how it’s always been,” you turn around. “would you come out of here for a day? i would love to show you inazuma city, and how much it had changed in these years.”

ei nodded slowly, before bringing herself and all the rest of you out of the plane of euthymia.

she seemed to enjoy the outside world a lot more than you’d thought she would.

“y/n…” she smiled, looking around the city. “this has changed very drastically from the last time i’ve walked these roads with you. the fashion trends have changed very much, too.”

you and miko share a look before she starts to speak. “of course it’s changed. you haven’t seen this place in decades, ei.”

you nod with mikos statement, a sigh leaving ei’s mouth before she gripped your hand tight, a silent vow to never let you down in the way she had again.

and just like that, months fly by. occasionally, she’ll be in her plane. but mostly, she’ll be in the present world with you, in your luxurious abode in the inner city, continuing your marriage happily.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #raiden #shogun #raiden shogun #ei #ei x reader #raiden x reader #raiden shogun x reader #shogun x reader

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doriana-gray-games · 1 year ago

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oh my GOD the H scenes were so good,,,,,,the spilled milk part(the cat is the ultimate matchmaker),,,,,the deduction,,,,the hand touch and the eye contact,,,,,the eye color scene!!!! the hand kiss,,,,the goodbye!!!! I didn't start out intending to romance H but i am hooked now. it's too good to resist. i am also thoroughly entertained by the tension between H and Watson:))

😍 You found so many scene variations! (There’s one more you might like. Instead of the milk one, If Mc has low strength and u play with Hamish—Mc falls into their arms 🤭).

Aww man. I think so far H and W LT is my fav LT. Might change my mind later as we get deeper, and I know I’m not supposed to have favourites — but it just brings out the best/worst out of them both 😆

H and W is like this (with soo so much jealousy):

H and A is like this: (mc is Marilyn) (it's just a fun time tbh)

W and L is like this: (it's the opposite of a fun time)

L and A is like this: (It's just A enjoying the company too much)

A and W?

H and L… I don’t even know yet tbh 🤔.

This fight? Don't wanna duel, but they do—mutual enemies respect situation?

#i know Helena doesn’t have a catch scene. but she’s tiny. she would be squashed. i might add a Mc cathes her scene tho 🤔#LT

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sweptawayghost · 1 month ago

Text

Light My Fire Pt.2

JOEL MILLER X READER

DUEL POV

Word count 6.9K

Chapter warning: male masturbation, mentions of alcohol, age gap, mention of guns, slow burn, pov,flirting, friends to lovers, mentions of choking, angst, fluff, no use of Y/N, The R word gets used but nothing like that happens.

Chapter summary: Let the delicate dance begin. As winter fast approaches Jackson we try to head out on one more supply run before the weather gets too bad.

We wake up with our toxic ex in our bed… again.

This will be a slow burn

Anything written in italic indicates someone talking to themselves.

///

YOU

I always loved fall. I loved the colours of the leaves and the sounds they made when crushed. I loved lighting fires and being curled up underneath blankets. Books seemed to be more interesting in the fall. The summer sun would feel like a slap to the face compared to how it would softly kiss your skin in the fall, even on the hotter days. Sometimes it felt like saying goodbye to someone you didn't want to leave. Soon the snow would start up and the real challengers would begin.

I open my eyes to the non-stop thumping in my temples. I look over at my window, the curtain softly bloating with the breeze coming in from the open window. Glancing over at my clock reading ‘4:56 am’

I throw my feet off the edge of the mattress and gaze out of the window, the moon looks so beautiful, it casts my room in a ghostly grey, making outside look so ominous and gloomy.

Leaving the warmth of my bed in favour of a hot shower. Along with the insistent thumping of my front door is the soft rhythmic snore of the man that lay in my bed. Fuck, I almost forgot he was here.

Dean Hickman.

I cast a look back at him, he looked so peaceful laying there, the glow of the moon on his face, half of his naked body hanging out of the blanket on my bed, his hair sticking out every which way. I'll admit, I had been spellbound by his charm on more than one occasion. Last Night may have been one of those times. All it takes is one look into his hazel eyes and one sly knowing smile, a few suggestive words and before you know it you're falling into bed with him. Not to mention he was tall and tanned and could crush you with the muscles in his arms and god knows he had plenty to work with in bed… He just wasn't that good.

The passion was there, the moves were there and he was great looking but he was just always way more concerned about getting himself over the line. Call it for what it is. He's a selfish lover who doesn't give head, doesn't know how to find a G spot, doesn't understand how to work your clit even after you've shown him on more than one occasion and really doesn't care if you come or not.

Jackson didn't have the largest pool of men to play with so when a good-looking man like Dean comes into your life it's kind of hard to say no. There was a time when I called him mine. He was sweet and thoughtful and he knew all the right things to say, but then he started stumbling in late, whisky leavy on his breath and the smell of another woman hung from him.

I remember the night he hit me. He was drunk out of his mind and the next morning he didn't even remember it. That was the final straw for me. If it hadn't been for that I would have put up with his cheating, his drinking, his screaming and shouting.

When I told him it was over he threw himself at my feet, telling me he's sorry, that he loves me, that he wants me to have his babies, and it'll never happen again. It didn't take him long to fall into bed with one of his neighbours though.

I told myself I wouldn't fall back into his clutches… but some nights are long, some nights are cold, some nights you just need to fuck. At least he could be of some use.

I slip out of the room leaving his sleeping form sprawled out on the bed. I can still feel the mess he made between my legs and my body feels heavy with a layer of dried sweat.

I let the warm water from the shower run over my body as if the water would wash away the feeling of shame lingering on my skin. I should start kicking him out during the night. If people see him leaving here in the morning I may as well just scream “I GOT LAID LAST NIGHT” in the middle of town.

I didn't want to think about it today. I needed a clear head, a clean canvas, today I was important to the community.

Today I had patrol.

Today I had patrol with a new partner.

Joel Miller

Of course, I knew who he was, everyone did. Entering Jackson was like entering a small town where everyone knows everyone, everyone knows new faces, everyone likes to gossip, everyone knows who's sick, who's working where, everyone knows when you burp, fart or cough.

He only lives a few doors down from me and I've walked past his house almost every morning since he's been here. Maybe don't tell him you know where he lives, might seem creepy.

I know I can be hard to get along with, I'm not the easiest to talk to right away, I know I can be dismissive and blunt. It might be easy for people to forget about what's outside of these walls, but I won't. I can't. I don't like the folk who like to think everything is sunshine and flowers just because they don't have to leave the comfort and safety of jackson. The comfort and safety that I helped build and I continue to provide.

///

“Hey” I slap Dean's shoulder where it pokes out from the blanket “You gotta go I'm heading out”

He snapped his head up quickly in my direction, irritation flashed on his face for a moment. He inhales deeply through his nose and rubs his eye with the tips of his fingers “What time is it?” he asks, his voice coming out deep and crackling as he rolls over.

“Time for you to get the fuck out” I whirl around my room picking up his clothes from the foot of the bed before throwing them at him and finding my own. I pull my favourite knitted sweater over my head. The one that I've patched up more times than I can remember because I refuse to let it die.

“You don't have to be such a bitch you know” Dean spits out at me as he pulls his Jeans up his legs.

Fuck here we go

“Dean, as much as I enjoy your ‘morning after dramatics’ I really don't have the time for it this morning” He does this every time. The thing with Dean is he can be so sweet and charismatic, he’ll charm your pants off and take you right to the edge. But as soon as the sun starts to rise the next morning he's the worst person you've met and the biggest asshole you’ll meet. It's like the magic spell wears off. Just when you think he's a prince he turns back into a frog.

I leave him in the bedroom, muttering about how much of a bitch I am or how I'm not worth the hassle or something, I don't really listen, in a few days' time, he’ll come crawling back. He always does. And I always let him. I'm not sure why I let myself fall into his clutches time and time again. Maybe I'm just looking for a warm body to lay next to. Maybe I just want someone to kiss me and make me feel wanted. Maybe I'm just lonely.

I watch him emerge from my room, leaning against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in my hands. He reaches for his coat that's been abandoned on the back of the couch before reaching for his boots near the front door. He only casts me one sideways look with an ugly scowl on his usually handsome face. What does he want me to do? Cry? Say I'm sorry? He does this every fucking time.

He reaches for my front door, ripping it open before trying the fly wire door that constantly sticks to the door jam. He pushes on it once, twice, three times, really putting his weight into it before he gives up and just kicks it almost clean off its hinges.

“Fix this fucking door!” he shouts at me from across the room pointing a finger in my direction before he starts down my porch steps and into the street.

I cross the distance from the kitchen to the front door “Asshole!” I shout at him before he turns around and flips me off. I return the gesture.

I look down, assessing the damage to the door. The bottom hinges blown apart with the metal all twisted. The handle that once sat on the inside now lays just inside the doorway being ripped off completely. Now I have one more thing to fix around here.

I pull on my boots and my pack, throwing in the sandwiches I made yesterday as well as some jerked meat and an old beaten-up metal drink bottle.

I stepped out the door, closing it behind me and leaving the wire door where it now sits.

I start towards the stables. Knowing that patrol will take my mind off this morning's dramatics. It's a chance for me to escape, out there I have one job. I don't have to think about all the things that need to be done around here. All the things I should be doing right now and all the things that I should have started weeks ago.

I really need to split and store some more wood before I run out of time.

I should go back to that woodshed before it snows.

I should pick up one of my knitting projects.

I should really start thinking about cleaning my gutters as well. I really don't wanna do that shit, can I just trade with someone to do it?

Now I can add ‘fix wire door’ to the never-ending list.

The walk to the armoury isn't far and I really didn't mind it especially when the days started getting colder. As I approached the warm smiley face of Clay was waiting for me on the other side of the desk.

“I heard you were taking out the new Miller brother today,” Clay said as she leaned over the desk in my direction, her lips turned up in a big bright smile.

She was part of the small handful of people I actually liked to talk to. Her hair sat just below her ear, a few dark strands hovering around her face, it was just that bit too short to tie up, during the summer months she would ask me to french braid it to keep it out of her face while she worked. Here's an idea Clay, don't cut it so short next time. Her dark eyes looked so glossy and bright in the morning light. God, you're a sucker for anyone with brown eyes, aren't you.

For a moment I considered telling her about what happened with Dean this morning but thought better of it. Clay runs hot. When she cares she cares a lot. I consider her a friend, maybe even my best friend, Even after we slept together.

We both blamed the alcohol for that one. I don't regret it even for a second. I think if we had met at a different time, in a different place, maybe not at the end of the world we might have worked out. I think we were meant to love each other but not be IN love with each other. There's a difference.

“Yeah, Tommy thinks it’ll be good for him to get out, apparently he’s chomping at the bit” I signed out one rifle in my name and the other I marked ‘J.M’

Ha! It’d be funny if his middle name was Aaron or Arnold then his initials would spell JAM.

“Well, good luck with him. I heard he's an asshole” she said while walking somewhere towards the back of the armoury, before reemerging with two rifles.

“But god is he handsome, even for an old guy” She slides the rifles across the desk in my direction. She has this far-off look in her eye, like she's remembering his face.

“As long as he doesn't get me killed I couldn't give a fuck how much of an asshole he is” I chose to ignore the handsome part.

“Speaking of assholes…” Clay trails off. I offer her a scowled expression as I let my imagination predict the direction this conversation is headed.

“I saw Dean leaving your place this morning”

Shit

At least I don't have to feel bad about lying to her.

///

I headed for the stables after receiving an in-depth lecture from Clay about the dangers of falling into bed with Dean. She should give that talk to every eighteen-year-old in Jackson.

My mind didn't stay on The topic of Dean for long. I had so many other things to think about. Bigger things. Things that actually mattered. As I saddled up the horses my mind was swimming with the never-ending to-do list in my head. In a lot of ways, patrol felt like an escape from my responsibilities.

I wondered how many more chances I would be able to get out before the weather got too bad. I wondered when the snow would start. I wondered how the food supply was looking for the winter. I wondered what day it was. Like what the date was and not just a guess we made that everyone agreed on. I should speak to Tommy about doing more supply runs before it gets too dangerous.

Yep, I'd rather be outside the gates, risking my ass than stay here and chop wood or check my roof for leaks.

I made my way to Jackson gates, the leather from the reins felt like butter in my hand, like they had been oiled recently. The weight of the rifles on my back felt more like a hug than deadweight and the soft morning light felt like a kiss.

That's the first time I really looked at Joel Miller.

I had seen him, and I could recognise his face and pick him out of a crowd but today felt like the first time I really looked at him.

His eyes looked tired.

I saw the lines in his face especially the ones between his brows

The way his jaw ticked when he clenched his teeth

The scar across his nose.

The scratches and dents in the skin of his hands from years of fighting. And winning.

He looked like a man who was forced to become what he is.

a man who was made for so much more than what he is

A man who needed to be hugged, to be held, to be loved. To be seen as more than just the monster the world has turned him into.

///

I spent all night thinking about him. He had this haunted look. Every time I looked into his eyes I felt like I could drown in them. Like I was going to be taken under.

I noticed the way he would constantly twitch his right hand, like he was gripping something that wasn't there and I noticed small sparse patches in his facial hair, I noticed the broken shoelace that had been tied back together on his left shoe and I noticed the broken watch he wore on his left wrist.

I didn't know it at the time but tomorrow would change the way I saw him. Tomorrow I would see a spark in his eyes. Tomorrow I would notice the bulge of his arms against his shirt. Tomorrow I would notice how adorable he looked when he smiled. Tomorrow I would offer him that bottle of Seth's home-brewed bourbon that I was saving for a special occasion. Tomorrow I would study the angels of his face and commit them to memory. Tomorrow I would give him his pistol back, the one that Tommy stole from him when he arrived here.

I didn't know it at the time but in a week he would be splitting wood for me in the backyard and fixing shit around my house. He would ask about the front door and I'll lie to him. In a week I'd be offering to mend his favourite pair of socks and offering to show Ellie because everyone should know how to sow.

In two weeks I would be inviting him on more of my unofficial patrols. I would be going over for dinners and meeting him before sun up for coffee before we were expected on patrol. In two weeks He would be rolling off my couch in the morning after one night of heavy drinking. He could have walked home but I liked that he stayed. Ellie would be coming over after school. I think she liked having someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't judge her, someone who treated her as an adult and not just another fifteen-year-old.

I just didn't know it yet.

______________________

Joel

///

I woke to find myself in a pool of sweat… again.

Where I used to wake up from nightmares, I now wake up from dreams of you.

I don't think you realised what you did to me. Every little touch, the brush of your fingertips against my arm, the way you grabbed a fistful of my hair that was beginning to grow out of control and would start falling into my face “You need a haircut miller” you had told me. I believe your touch was innocent but it lit a fire in my gut.

I liked the way you pulled me, you pushed me, you ran your fingers through my hair, you traced bruises and scars that you saw. I liked it when you touched me. I liked when you smiled at me and I liked when you scowled at me. You would yell at me, you would cry to me, you would laugh at my stupid jokes and you would leave my home with an article of clothing that needed a hole patched up or to take the hem up on something for Ellie. Some of my things never came back to me but I didn't mind.

Some nights I wouldn't go back to sleep and instead lay staring at the ceiling watching the light shift as morning broke through the night. Some nights I would think about you, what were you doing?

Were you thinking about me?

Do you know I think about you?

What do you sound like when you touch yourself?

That was most nights lately.

Now, I know I said it would only be one time but I couldn't help myself. I tried not to think about you, really I tried. I just couldn't help it. The way you smile at me, the way you smell, your laugh. Some nights I found myself rutting against the bed for relief, eyes sealed shut and whimpering for you, wishing you were here underneath me. Talking me through it. Telling me how good I'm making you feel. I wanted to see your eyes roll back as I worked you through your orgasm, mouth agape, moaning into my ear. I know you would sound so pretty for me.

God get a grip of yourself, Miller.

If I had to be honest with myself, It was scary how badly I wanted you. My body felt like it was engulfed in flames when I came thinking about you.

My body stuttered as I held a death grip on the bathroom sink or the sheets beneath me. I imagined you smiling at me. Looking so fucking proud of yourself for how crazy you made me. How desperate and needy you made me. How you would let me finish inside of you because I was so good to you and I deserved it.

The lonely, empty feeling would catch up to me pretty quickly after. Some nights it was easy to lull myself back to sleep, other nights I wasn't as lucky.

I would replay conversations we had. Like the time we were stumbling home from the Bison one night, you grabbed hold of my arm as we walked through the streets. I didn't know if it was just because you were drunk or maybe your hands were cold but I liked it regardless.

You had told me how the silence of the streets was sometimes deafening. How sometimes it felt worse than being outside the walls. I couldn't have agreed more.

I told you about how I found it hard to sleep and about how guilty I felt to be here and to be alive.

I trusted you but I'm sure the abundance of bourbon in my system had a lot to do with the confession.

If I hadn't just met you I would tell you everything. I would tell you about Sarah, I'd tell you the truth about Ellie. I would tell you about the ache in my chest when I wake up and I'd tell you how much it’s eased since I’ve met you. I'd tell you about how much I like you being around. You'd probably think I’m insane if you knew how much I think about you.

She trusts you, Joel. Don't fuck this up by letting your dick do your thinking for you.

She's your friend, she trusts you and you're laying in bed thinking about how good it would be to creampie her. You’re fucked up.

///

There had been many nights since the two of us first drank together. I think we both needed it as badly as the other. Each time we got a little more comfortable with each other. Maybe we got a little too close, maybe eyes lingered a little too long and maybe the interlocking of fingers felt like more than just a friendly exchange.

Sometimes I felt bad for it, sometimes I felt like I was dumping all my shit onto your plate that had just as much shit as mine. Sometimes I thought I should be demanding Ellie to stay home so we could spend time together, but teenagers are teenagers. At least I didn't have to worry about her going too far and no matter where she was there would be a gun nearby.

But tonight I didn't feel guilty. After the week I had endured I think I earned a night of drinking and while I sat looking at you next to me on the couch I felt myself relax, my head was swimming with the alcohol in my system and the heat from the fireplace making me feel like I was going to melt into the couch. I loved nights like this.

The last time I sat here with you I told you about the pit in my stomach and the hole in my heart. I told you about the nightmares I have almost every night when I close my eyes and the suffocating feelings that follow me when I wake up. I may have been drunk when I told you but I remember it clear as day. I could feel you searching for my eyes, but I couldn't look at you. I felt so weak. I closed my eyes trying to hide the evident emotion. I heard the shuffled movements as you closed the gap between us.

I felt your hand on the back of my neck, the tips of your fingers cold despite the heat from the fire. You pulled me into the crook of your neck, resting my head on your shoulder and wrapping your arm around my middle.

And for the first time in a long time, I let someone see the soft parts of me. The broken parts. I let my body relax in your embrace, I let my shoulder drop and I unclenched my teeth before wrapping my arms around your middle, letting my fingers interlock behind your back.

You smelt divine. I felt the warmth coming off your body and the feeling of your hand in my hair was intoxicating and when you said “You’re okay, baby” You whispered into my hair I wanted to rip your clothes off and ruin you.

Baby

Did you mean to say it?

Baby

Or Did you call everyone that?

Baby

When I woke up the next morning you were still holding me, my head resting against your stomach, my chest pressed between your legs with both hands pressed into your back and one of your hands resting on my shoulder with the other one tangled in my hair.

The fire was no more than dying embers in the hearth, I would have noticed the chill in the air more if it weren't for the blanket that was draped over my body and the heat coming off your body.

I ignored the ache in my back and the cramping in my hip that I was slumped over on as I looked over your sleeping form. You looked almost angelic in the soft morning glow that was flooding through your windows, the soft swell of your breasts pushing on the fabric of your shirt. My shirt. One that you stole from me. Your hair falls so lazily over one of the couch cushions, the slow rise and fall of your chest. If I were a worse man, the things I would do to you right now.

“Joel, are you listening?”

The sound of your voice breaks me from the memory, my attention snaps back to where you sit across from me on the couch. At this point, I consider this couch more of a home than the house I live in. I find myself here more often than not and on multiple occasions Ellie has also felt it was home. It felt like an old friend welcoming you home after you've been gone for a while.

“I just missed the last part” I leaned over to pour myself another drink from the bottle that sat on the small nightstand on “my side of the couch”. Your words, not mine. I hear a huff escape your lips as you extend your own glass out to me, signalling for a refill.

It was so cute when you faked irritation.

“If you weren't so handsome I would slap the shit out of you” You pulled the glass back and threw back a swig before continuing, “I said…” I tried to concentrate on the next part but I let my eyes wash over your form. You were wearing that massive sweater again, the one that swallowed you up. A thick pair of woollen socks hugged your feet but your legs were out on full display in a pair of sleep shorts. My sleep shorts. Another thing you stole from me with the promise of “repairing it” never to be seen again. Oh wait shit she's talking to me. Stop staring at her legs.

“We’d be out for three nights. We aren't expecting snow for another week but if it starts early and we’re still out there we turn back immediately, yeah?” You're Not asking, you're telling. “There's a string of supply sheds that haven't been checked on in a while. Tommy wants us to check them out before the weather turns on us”

You could ask me to crawl across broken glass with hot coals on my back just to lick mud off your feet and I'd do it.

“Yeah it's not a problem” that's probably the better answer.

///

One thing I really liked about you was the fact that you didn't get small talk. You would ask me questions about my life before the outbreak, which made me feel really old, given you were only a child at the time.

You would ask me what colour my first bike was or how old I was when I shaved for the first time. Tonight You asked me about my first serious girlfriend.

It was the first night of our non-official patrol and possibly the last one until springtime.

And while we had anticipated snow we didn't expect it to be raining sideways. Normally a fire is a surefire way to get into trouble but tonight we needed it, we were both soaked to the bone after spending the last hour looking for a somewhat secure structure to sleep for the night.

The rain coming down so hard it muffled any noise the pair of you made and the wind picked up the smoke from the fire and carried it away into the night.

"Hmm, I think her name was Stacy?" I said it more like a question than an answer

“Or was it Lacie?”

I clicked my fingers before shooting my answer at you “No! It was Macie”

I looked at your face from across the dancing flames. You looked tired. Your hair was drenched and the whipping of the wind left your cheeks red and blotchy.

“Do you think you loved her? At the time” you asked from across the fire. You were laid down on your side with your head propped up on your arm.

I can count on one hand how many girls I actually loved in my life and Lacie. no, wait… Macie. Definitely wasn't one of them.

“No” I dropped my gaze and looked into the fire. The colour of late autumn leaves. “I was young and love wasn't really the first thing on my mind” I didn't mind that it sounded cruel, I didn't need to lie to you.

I told you about the movies we would go see and the music we would listen to “Most of the stuff she liked was crap but I told her I liked it” I was a horny teenager what do you expect. I Would describe the creek we would go swimming in that summer and how we would ride our bikes around town before I saved enough money for a car.

"What kind of car did you drive?" I found it cute that you asked. As if it held any importance.

"It was a red pickup truck, a hunk of shit really but it was mine" I felt like a doddering old man telling you stories about my past glory days. You would look at me and your eyes would sparkle like I was telling you the most interesting story in the world, mouth slightly open, hanging off my every word. I would tell you anything you wanted to hear as long as you would keep looking at me like that.

“ I wish I was lucky enough to have a car” you said, turning over onto your stomach bringing your elbows up to support the weight of your head.

You meant it sincerely but I remember that car very well. It has ripped-up fabric seats, no plastic covering on the dashboard, wires hung from under the steering wheel, no air conditioning and only the driver's side window went down and the fuel gauge didn't always tick so there was more than one occasion that I would be stranded on the side of the road with an empty tank. “It wasn't a prize by any means but it was special to me” You looked at me from across the fire, studying my expression. The smile that was lacing your lips now falls as the look of mischief overtakes your eyes. “Did you fuck her in the back?” and suddenly the space we share is too small, you're too close and the fire is too hot.

You asked me so blankly as if you were just asking me how my day was.

I felt the flush creep up my neck and cheeks, the grin that spread over your face said ‘I'm trying to make you uncomfortable’. This was a look I've become all too familiar with. It was one you would flash me after one too many drinks, when the conversation would sway into dangerous places or when hands would linger a little too long.

I didn't get to see it much when we were sober.

I fucking hated when you looked at me like that.

I let my own lazy grin form on my lips while I looked at you, a shrug was the only reply I could offer.

“Wow, you're such a romantic Miller” Your face pulled up in a big grin that stretched across your face. The one I loved to see you wear.

I blamed the heat of the fire when you pointed out the blush that still resided on my cheeks and neck. I blamed the day's hike for the numbness in my knees but I blamed you for the swelling of my cock. It's the way she looks at me, I can't help that.

We agreed that I would watch at night and we would switch in the morning. I loved watching at night, I loved the sounds of the night and I loved that every other feeling in my body felt heightened and alert. I loved how night’s felt as if it would go on forever. But most of all, I loved looking down at your sleeping body that was now curled at my side, I loved the way the firelight bounced off your skin and I loved the sweet little moans and groans you would let out in your sleep. Like you were having the best dream of your life.

“Goodnight, Joel” you whispered out to me before you drifted off. I knew once sleep had taken you under you would reach out for me, looking for some kind of contact whether it was me holding your hand or stroking your hair behind your ear. Some nights it was your arms wrapped around my upper thigh telling me to you.

I could tell you hated sleeping alone.

///

“Wake up”

The smell of coffee was the first thing to hit me the next morning. The second thing I noticed was the absence of your warm body curled up on the ground next to me. The third thing I noticed was the ache of my swollen cock as it pressed into the zip on my jeans.

I Dreamt about you last night.

I sat up, my lower body in the sleeping bag we packed and decided to share to save on space, seeing how only one of us would be sleeping at a time anyway.

I stretched my neck feeling it pop as I moved it from left to right. I'm way too old to be sleeping on the ground.

I looked over at you sitting at the foot of the sleeping bag, a knee propped up with your notebook leaning against it as you scribbled in it. A sight I have seen a million times now. You didn't go anywhere without that thing and I could give up my left testicle to read all your deepest darkest secrets.

The worn dark leather held the pages together, there were newspaper clippings, stamps and postcards, elastic bands, paper clips, worn and ripped paper with rushed messy writing on them all jammed into the papers. I'd even seen you pick flowers and leaves that you thought were beautiful and press them into the pages. You also kept a hand pull of photographs that you had found. None of them were of your family or even of people you knew. You told me as long as you had the photographs these peoples memories would live on.

I'd love to see all the notes you kept, all the things you never told me. I'd love to see what made you tick, to rip open your head and dig around in it. That journal would have to do though. You had confided in me about the mistakes you had made and some of the things you did to get here. You had told me about your love life, not that you had to say a lot. I could always tell when you had spent the night with Dean… mainly because I could see your front door from my front door.

it never seemed like it was enough. I needed more.

You'd spoken briefly about your family, your early years in Jackson and your old patrol partner. Oh yeah, your old patrol partner.

You had only brought him up once before which was what intrigued me the most. I should just ask Tommy, that bastard can't lie for shit.

The soft slap of pages closing broke my string of thought.

“Good morning”

______

YOU

I loved doing Morning watches. I loved the sound of the birds as they woke, i loved watching the sun come up and i loved the crisp air that invaded my lungs. I loved watching Joel sleep, it's almost comical the way his broad shoulders and long legs dont fit into the sleeping bag. I loved brewing fresh coffee and stoking the fire as he lay there, he looked so peaceful.

I took a sip of coffee from a beat up metal cup before looking down the admire my latest journal entry;

Dear diary, today was the best day ever!

Just kidding its still the end of the fucking world and and i could have been beaten an raped in my sleep lastnight if it wasnt for the man laying two feet away from me. Funny to think about how adorable he looks right now compared to the animal that everyone claims he is. Not that i want to test him or anything.

This is morning two of what’s supposed to be a four day journey. The wind feels like it's grating my skin and the rain hasn't let up. I think we left at the worst possible time.

There's a fire tower about two miles away from where we are now, we are meant to be checking out as well as a few other stations before the snow but shit happens i guess. I think i'll let Joel sleep for a bit longer, i can tell he needs it. When he wakes up I'm gonna tell him we are heading home. If I told him why we were really out here I bet he would think I was an idiot for making him come out here. And if he found out tommy knew the reason he would be double pissed. Maybe I'll tell him when we get home.

I had a dream about him last night. And it's not the first one I've had but it was the most vivid one. Feels weird to write it down but whatever, if anyone reads this I'll just kill them.

In my dream we were having sex in the back of his truck, the one he told me about lastnight. But it wasn't just like normal boring sex that I'd have with Dean, it was raw and rough and animalistic, he was biting me and slapping my face and sucking on my tongue before spitting in my mouth. I woke up so fucking horny i almost ripped my clothes off and begged him to fuck me.

Anyway. Tommy had asked me to try and set him up on a date with a few of the women in Jackson, which I'm not overly thrilled about. I would let him do unspeakable things to me.

Joel moans alot in his sleep. I wonder if he's dreaming about me the way I've been dreaming about him… or if he's having a horrific nightmare that I need to wake him up from.

I sit for a moment studying Joel's face as I sketch it out next to the latest entry. I wish i had a camera.

///

It had been a few days since we returned. We made it to the fire tower regardless of the rain and the wind that threatened to sweep me off my feet.

I remember how fucking cold i was. How my toes felt like they were going to fall off, my socks soaked to the bone, my nose was red where I had continuously crushed it with the back of my glove to collect the snot that was leaking from it. Very sexy. I stepped into the spray of the shower letting the hot water thaw my flesh giving me full body pins and needles.

I Let Tommy know that the other supply shakes will just have to wait now. At least we know they’re there if we are in an absolute crisis.

I should tell Joel what's in the shed’s. I'm not sure if he’ll laugh or be angry at me. I don't want him to be angry.

Right now I just felt bad enough about dragging him out there with me. I'll leave it for the moment, let him rest and recover and get something warm in his stomach.

I felt a flush of heat rise in my gut as I thought about Joel and that dream I had. I let my hand slide between my legs as I massaged the aching bundle of nerves that had been calling my name. “Good girl” I could imagine the words sliding off his tongue with that silky southern drawl. This won't take long.

After my shower I got into my cosiest clothes. One of Joel's flannels that had gone missing when I stole it so I could fix it and a pair of sweatpants as well as my thickest pair of socks.

As I made my way into the kitchen, contemplating what to eat to soothe the growl in my stomach, there was a knock at my door.

Throwing all my weight into pulling the door open, I stumbled back a little before looking up at the figure that filled my doorway. None other than Dean Hickman with a shit eating grin on his face and a knowing look in his eye.

“Hey Beautiful”

He's not Joel but I can use my imagination.

///

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#idiots in love #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel the last of us #pedro pascal fanfiction #smut #soft joel miller #joel miller

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spicywhenspeaking · 10 months ago

Text

If I'm There: Chapter Eighteen

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

warnings: alcohol use

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

edited by me ....soooo if you see something spelt wrong no you didn't.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @jessitpwk @samanthasgone @laurpartyprogram @myownthoughts12

Ryan, our receptionist has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. He’s thinking that he’s just setting me up with a band I don’t like. Ugh. It’s not his fault, nobody here knows Noah is Erin’s dad. Only Haylie and my family know. Although I never confirmed with my dad who Erin’s father is I know he knows.

As I frantically attempt to clear my workstation of anything Erin-related I look down and notice that because of the rip in my jeans, you can perfectly see the “Erin” script tattoo I have over my left knee.

“Fuck” I quietly exclaim to myself, no way of hiding that. My phone is cradled in my shoulder as I continue to lose my mind with Haylie. “I’m freaking out! Oh my god, ten years and everything I’ve worked so hard to overcome just walked through my fucking door.” I’m breathing in and out heavily as I look back up over the partition to see Noah watching me with peaked interest as he offers a small awkward wave while the rest of his band mates finished their paperwork. I quickly duck back down and continue to freak out with Haylie on the phone.

“Okay, hold on! He’s there? How did he know you were there?” Haylie Questions. “I have no fucking idea. Oh my god! Erin…she’s at fucking Six Flags having a great time and I just agreed to tattoo her fucking father! That doesn’t know about her, that she’s never met. That I’ve never told her about, god, I’m the worst mother-'' Haylie cuts me off “You need to breathe. It’s going to be okay, just try to remember everything Dr. Grady taught you'' she reassures me.

“Okay,” I breathe out. “Okay, I’ll be fine. It’ll just be like seeing an old friend. That took my virginity. And got me pregnant and left me all alone”

There’s a long pause “..….you could always sneak out the back door?” We both laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I have to laugh because otherwise, I would have a full-on breakdown. “I’ll be okay. I can do this. I can totally do this” I tell Haylie and also myself. Can I fucking do this?! We say our goodbyes and I return to my breathing technique as I try to calm my racing heart.

A few minutes later I hear their footsteps approaching my workstation followed by his voice, that’s only gotten better with time. “I can’t believe you’re here” he almost whispers. “What are you doing here?” Noah asks me quietly.

“I work here” I state calmly. “I moved here after graduating early and started an apprenticeship with a friend of a friend, worked my way up,” I say, trying not to break my words as I look up at him, and oh my god how did he get even better looking? I’m totally fucked. I attempted to shake myself out of whatever daze being around Noah has brought me into so I can get through this.

“I could say the same to you? Of all the tattoo shops in Texas, you just happen to walk through my doors” I half joke. “Must be fate” It’s Nicholas Ruffilo that pipes up this time, coming around to hug me. “Long time no see Nat,” he says, eyeing me up and down. “You’re looking good,” he mentions with a soft smile. I’m not at all the girl I used to be, my hair is darker and I have multiple visible tattoos. My neck tattoo is visible and you can see the evidence of a stomach tattoo poking out the bottom of my tank, if I turned around they could see my dueling dragon back tattoo peaking past my shoulders and through the holes in my jeans, you can see a view of my full leg sleeve. “Really digging the tatted look,” Nicholas remarks with a friendly tone. He’s always been a good guy. I wish I had stayed in contact with him more all these years. But I couldn’t even keep in contact with Noah, despite trying, so that was wishful thinking.

“Yeah, you too buddy,” I tell him, returning his hug.

Turning to face Noah I give him a once over “You cut your hair.” When he left it was down past his chest but the short hair looks really good on him and I’m forgetting everything I’m supposed to be mad at him about.

“Oh yeah,” he reaches back and scratches the nape of his neck “it was just getting to be a lot to deal with.”

I huff out a laugh and think about my life with Erin and how hard it’s been raising her as a single mother and remember the anger I’ve felt all these years. “yeah, i know how much you hate when things get complicated” I say and he slightly bristles. I ignore it and turn to the two unfamiliar faces.

“Hi! I’m Natalie, I went to school with these two so it’s an impromptu reunion.” I stick out my hand to shake hands with Nick Folio and Jolly, the final members of Noah’s band, Bad Omens. “Two Nicks? Doesn't that get confusing?” I ask. “Yeah, people call me Folio, but you can call me anything you’d like,” Folio says with a smile and wink. Noah tenses at his friend's joke and eyes him with a glare. Choosing to ignore whatever that was, I turn back towards the group and ask, “So what are we doing today? I overheard a little, just some line work?”

“Uh yeah,” Nick replies “I unfortunately lost my tattoo bag with my gun and needles, or else I would have done it myself.” He’s still the same Nicholas I knew so I can tell when he’s bullshitting. “Okay…and if you told me the truth? What would that be?” I give him a serious look, the same one Erin calls my “Mom means business face.”

“Okay so I may have been looking online for tattoo shops in the area just for fun and maybe I came across an article about a certain women’s owned tattoo shop and thought I recognized one of the girls in the group picture.” He fesses up finally. “You knew she would be here?” Noah asks his friend, shock written on his face. “Why didn’t you say anything” he asks at the same time I question, “So you knew I was here? So much for fate huh?” I joke and push his shoulder back. “You didn’t think to call first? At least warn me?” I ask him. Noah pipes up “Well he didn’t tell me either if that helps.”

It doesn’t.

“What? So you could be conveniently out of the office? Yeah right Natty, I’m not stupid. Or so you” he gestures at Noah “could find any way out of seeing her, no way” Nicholas’ cheshire cat smile tells me all I need to know. He wanted this to happen, for us all to see each other again. Thinking maybe it was just old friends catching up or love birds reuniting. Unfortunately, all he really did was throw my life completely upside down by unknowingly walking the father of my child straight back into my life.

“Well, we will have some time to catch up while I work,” I say, “let me just pull up some more chairs so y’all can sit.” I walk and grab two folding chairs to add to my workspace.

I notice Noah looking at all the photos on my walls. Some of me, Kyle and Maggie all grown up, me with other musicians lying on my tattoo table getting something done. “Is that fucking Oli Sykes!??” Noah asks, pointing at a picture pinned on the wall. I laugh and nod “Um yeah, that’s a crazy story. My roommate Haylie ran into him after a show and they made a bet during a darts game and next thing I know I’m getting a call at 3 am about giving Oli a tattoo.” I laugh because it was actually pretty crazy, Haylie has stayed out later than me but I was lucky that Gwen had already agreed to babysit that night since it was our monthly girls’ night out so I knew Erin was safe. Having the lead singer of the Bring Me The Horizon on my tattoo table. That was crazy. “That’s amazing Natty, we’re touring with them next year.” Noah smiles when he says it, I know it is a huge accomplishment to be touring with a band he’s always loved. “Wow, that’s great Noah. I’m happy for y’all.” It’s not a complete lie, I have always been proud of Noah but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

Several minutes later I have my station ready and I’m prepping Jolly who’s volunteered to go first. They want the symbols for death, peace, and mind to commemorate their most recent album.

Jolly sits in the chair in front of me and is very nice, he offers a little small talk as I align the stencil and prepare the ink and tattoo gun. “So you’re the girl?” Jolly says and I see Noah lean his head back and mutter a nearly silent “Fucking Christ.” I start up the tattoo and huff an awkward laugh. “I’m not sure how to take that. Noah and I are exes if that’s what you mean?” I try to break the tension by addressing at least one elephant in the room. “Sorry, I don’t mean to make things awkward, I just mean I have heard a lot about you, though they failed to mention how incredibly beautiful you are,” Jolly says and I can tell he’s just playing and trying to get under Noah’s skin.

“You’re full of it Karlsson, I did too mention she was beautiful” Noah blurts out, surprising us both. “I mean..like objectively I mentioned it, years ago. Let’s just drop it okay?” He fumbles out and we all try to stop the laughter from bubbling out.

I finish up Jolly and Nicholas’s tattoos easily and next is Folio who is funny but a very playful flirt, he also asks a lot of questions.

“So how long have you been here?”

“Austin? Or this studio?”

“Both”

“Austin about ten years and this shop about the same, it kind of all came together at the same time”

“Why did you move?”

“Lots of reasons. I wanted a fresh start”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend either”

“Kids?”

If the tattoo gun had been on his skin it would have flown across it leaving a massive black mark along his arm. Everything stops and my mouth completely dries. I finish the last bit of the mind symbol and place the gun down and slap his shoulder, “alright that was fun but I have to switch to the next contestant now, maybe we can finish 20 questions later” I smile and give him a wink and then Noah is taking his seat in front of me. “Let me just clean up and get ready” I stand to re-sanitize everything before tattooing him next. He looks up at me through his lashes, “okay, I’ll be right here” he says and there’s a fire burning low in my gut.

You can do this Natalie. You got this. No more running. No more hiding.

After sanitizing everything I’m ready to begin, “so I’m pretty much covered all over my arms and hands, but I was thinking somewhere on my ribs? I have some space there.” He says while lifting his shirt to show me and damn. He has definitely been working out but, I push all those thoughts away and just nod like an idiot. “I’m yeah, ribs are a good placement, well just need to move to the bench,” I say and point behind us where Jolly and Nicholas are sitting. They hop down and I move to quickly wipe it down with disinfectant and then Noah is lifting his shirt up and lying down on the table and then I realize I’m going to have to touch him.

I pick up the stencil and as I’m about to place it Ryan comes rounding the corner with the shop phone, “Sorry Nat, but it’s Erin. She said she tried to call your cell but you didn’t answer” he tells me. Shit. I take the phone and move to stand just on the outside of my workspace. “Hey Sweets, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” I try to keep my voice casual, “Ashley asked me if I wanted to go with her to the zoo tomorrow and have a double sleepover. Can I please??” Erin practically begs and I put my hand on the receiver as I look back at the guys. “Sorry, this will just take a second,” I say and walk towards the back of the shop. “Can you put Ashley’s mom on?” I ask Erin. I talk to her mom to make sure it’s genuinely okay before telling Erin it’s okay. Ashley’s mom is happy to take Erin with her, “oh we love it when Erin joins us, she is such a sweet and respectful girl.” I can’t help but beam at the praise for my daughter, “Thank you, I’m just so glad she and Ashley get along so well, and I will send you some extra money on Venmo so they can get some fun trinkets.” I end the call with Erin thanking me ecstatically and rejoin the group.

“Sorry about that,” I say and sit back down to finish applying the tattoo stencil. As I sit the Erin tattoo is fully visible on my knee and I see Noah clock it. But he doesn’t say anything.

In a few minutes were ready to start the process and I have to lean into his personal space, smelling his clean, woody scent, and try not to fall under his spell. “We’re playing a show tomorrow, you didn’t happen to get tickets did you?” Noah asks as I start to tattoo his skin. “Oh, um no I didn’t. I hadn’t planned on going.” I mumble out. “Oh, well if you wanted to we could get you a ticket. Or two if you want to bring someone?” Noah says and his eyes are boring into mine. “Um, yeah maybe. My d-. I mean, I’ll be free so maybe.” I squeak out and force my mouth shut so I don’t say anything else on accident. I know that I need to tell him about Erin but in private.

The tattoos are finished and Folio is asking me more questions, “so what are you doing tonight? We need something fun to do.” he asks and I chuckle. “I’m going to a masquerade rave with some girlfriends, It’s a pretty good time if you’re interested.” I say and Folio’s eyes light up with interest, “Oh hell yes! We are 100% in! And we can be incognito.” Nicholas and I exchange numbers and Noah looks like he wants to ask for it as well but doesn’t. Nicholas sends me two backstage passes for the concert tomorrow night. I guess I’ll go with Haylie.

After cleaning my station again I finally make it home with plenty of time to get ready for the masquerade. I texted Nicholas all of the information and he sent me a thumbs up and told me they were all excited. Haylie was freaking out more than I was about the whole situation. “Okay, well you need to boost the sexiness of your outfit up by about 10000%.” Laughing we have fun getting ready for the party and I try to figure out how to tell Noah about Erin. I’m finishing my makeup and were having a few drinks. I don’t drink often so on girls night it doesn’t take many to get me tipsy. “Okay I obviously can’t do it tonight” I say as I button the front of my corset top, pushing my boobs up higher. “I think presenting him with your huge rack will really ease the blow of finding out he has a kid.” Haylie always has a way of saying the most shocking things and making them hilarious. “Funny.” I deadpan and down the rest of my vodka soda.

A couple hours later we are walking into the immaculately decorated warehouse with our lace masks on. Mine is black to complament my red strappy corset dress and Haylies’ is purple to match her colorful outfit. Haylie’s sister Rachel and my boss, Anna are with us as well and we walk towards the bar to grab some drinks before heading onto the dance floor.

After a quick round of shots and another vodka soda we file onto the dance floor together and start moving to the music. It’s upbeat and energetic so we’re having fun jumping around and dancing together. I love girls night, it’s a night that I can let loose and have fun knowing Erin is somewhere safe. She called before we left to say goodnight. I love that girl.

At first I think I’m dancing on Haylie but then she appears in front of me and I look behind and notice it’s a guy. I shoot in closer to my girls to try and make space but he gets closer so I wave him off, “I’m good dude, no thanks” I try to yell over the music. “Come on baby!! You look so hot! Dance with me!” I roll my eyes and Haylie lightly pushes the guy back “go on dude, she’s not interested.” He huffs an arrogant laugh but there’s another taller figure behind him, “yeah dude she’s not interested.” I instantly recognized the voice as Noah’s. The guy turns around and notices Noah’s towering height and holds up his hands in defeat “all right man, she’s all yours,” he says and I can’t help but laugh. The rest of his friends appear and we all attempt to exchange hellos but on the crowded dance floor it’s difficult. We end up all just dancing and at one point I think Haylie is behind me and Folio is in front of me and I’m having and amazing time. Noah is swaying to the music next to Nicholas and my other friends. Our eyes keep meeting and it’s like he’s has his own gravitational pull because we all suddenly end up in a massive cluster. I’m loose and warm from the drinks so I’m dancing and having a good time, not noticing I’ve now plastered myself against the front of Noah’s body. He doesn’t seem to mind and with the music blasting I can’t seem to care. Eventually we all make our way back to the bar, the guys head towards an area designated for seating to find us all a place to chill.

Me and the girls are grabbing more drinks and chatting loudly to hear each other over the music, “so Natty, where’s the little one tonight? Will we be seeing her at shop more now that school is out for the summer?” Anna asks with a big smile, shes like a grandma to Erin having been apart of our lives since she was born. “She went to Six Flags with a friend, so I’m a free mommy for two nights!” I cheer and raise my glass into the air to toast our night.

I take a step back and bump into someone, “oh sorry!” I call out as my drink spill over onto my arm slightly.

I turn around and apologize to who I ran into and it’s funny how little masks actually hide someone's identity. “Oh Nicholas, sorry! You snuck up on me” I laugh and grab some napkins to wipe the drink that spilled on my arm. The pregame drinks plus the drinks I’ve had here to loosen up have definitely done their job. “Hey Nat,” he says over the noise. “Um I’m sorry, did I hear you say you’re a free mommy tonight? You have a kid?” he asks and I feel my vision black out. “Um. Yeah.” I mumble out. “What? Sorry, it’s loud.”

“Yes!” I yell out louder and he nods slowly. “Wow! How old are they?” he asks innocently and I dont know what to do. I don’t want to lie but I don’t think it’s right to tell Nicholas first. “Um my daughter is almost 10.” I say and slurp down the rest of my drink and put it down on the bar. He nods again and then his eyes shoot up at me and I feel like I might throw up.

“10? Wow, thats, thats..shes 10? So you met someone when you moved?” Its starting to feel like an interrogation and I think about just running away, quickly realizing how stupid that would be. “No, no. I didnt meet anyone when I moved.” I offer up honestly. “So it’s someones from home?” I feel like he’s just chipping around the truth until I spill what he’s after.

I pull out my phone and show him my lockscreen which is a picture of Erin on halloween dressed up like a fairy to celebrate Haylie’s book launch. Nicholas takes my phone and I see his eyes go wide behind his mask. Hes just staring at it for minuets before I reach to take my phone back and put it back in my pocket.

“Don’t say anything yet, I will tell him. I promise, I will tell him.” I start to sound frantic and I feel myself growing into a flob sweat. “How could you keep something like this from him for ten years Nat?” He asks and I can hear his voiced lined with a dark edge.

“Excuse me? You don’t think I tried?” I ask shocked by his tone. His face is scrunched in confusion, “how hard could you have possibly tried? I mean you had his kid Natalie? And you didn’t tell him?” Nicholas voice seethes out in an inflection full of judgment. I’m drunk enough not to care who hears me when I say, “I told you I’d tell him and it’s really none of your business, so drop it.” There’s acid in my voice. “He has the right to know, you owe it to him to at least tell him the truth” Nicholas argues back.

“Did you forget that you both just left? You left too, Nicky. You both just picked up and left me. You don’t know a THING about what I went through! You have no idea how hard I tried to tell him, to get to him. When at every corner he was running further from me. You have no IDEA! Don’t talk to me about what’s owed Nicholas. You don’t want to go down this road with me.”

Our voices are starting to carry over and I see Noah look over from where him and the other two guys are sitting. He seems to notice our raised volume so he gets up to walk over and in a hushed voice I say “you’ll say nothing about this to him, I’ll tell him. Just leave it alone” It comes out as a warning and I walk away and pass Noah.

He stops me lightly by the shoulder to ask “Is everything okay? Were you and Nick just yelling?” I shake my head and slap on a fake smile “Everything’s fine, I’m just gonna go freshen up” I shrug off his touch and head towards the bathroom, grabbing Haylies hand and dragging her along with me.

What the fuck am I going to do? The timeline of needing to tell Noah has multiplied exponentially. I can’t make Nicholas keep the secret forever, not that he would. I’ll go to the show with Haylie tomorrow and tell him them.

divider from here

oh lord!!! It’s getting MESSY!!!

next chapter -> here

#noah sebastian #noahsebastian #Noah Sebastian smut #noah sebastian x ofc #Noah Sebastian angst #Noah Sebastian fluff #bad omens fluff #bad omen smut #bad omen fanfiction #bad omen fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens rpf #bad omens smut #noah sebastian fic #lf Im there noah #rpf fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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nanomooselet · 8 months ago

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Episode Two: The Running Man

It's odd how little gets said about this ep, considering it's the most direct homage the earlier anime adaptation - but maybe that might be why? Since, as I said, this was my entry into the story, to me it felt out of place. It seemed like it was doing all it could to distract from how the previous ep concluded.

With hindsight, I think that's the idea.

The opening with the radio! I'm so weirdly fond of it. Yeah it's a flashback, but it shows Vash in a private moment without his mask; a glimpse of his secrets. He's not wearing his coat, so you get a look at how broad his shoulders are; he's also handling the tools to maintain his gun skilfully for someone who claims he's not a fighter. As he's contemplating the crash - he was there, obviously, and he has the photo of him, Rem and Nai still - the radio host says without the Plants, our ancestors would have died out long ago. How long ago? Long enough that Vash likely shouldn't still look such a gosh darn pretty boy? Yet it slips by.

(I do not understand the complaints that Stampede had no mystery.)

This is the episode where he's most committed to the bit of being cute but sort of hapless and silly, too, so the contrast is dramatic. I don't think he was actually expecting Meryl and Roberto to clear his name all at once, but I do think he was hoping, I don't know, maybe they'd believe him from the first. But nothing's ever that easy for my boy. I gotta say, Vash, optimism has its limits. Your story is that you're being framed by your previously unknown identical twin brother. You know it's true, I know it's true, but you might have had an easier time with some, I don't know… evidence? It's not surprising the reporters are sceptical.

Oh god, I'm so sorry, do you want a hug or -

(By the way, this means Knives told everyone it wasn't him, it was a one-armed man.)

He's being melodramatic, but I suspect also more sincere than what comes across - which is the whole reason he exaggerates, of course. (What? No, I'm not talking from experience. I have never, ever done this. Never ever in A MILLION YEARS have I exaggerated to obfuscate my sincerity.) The angle changes to show his face, and it's pretty clear how genuinely exhausted and upset even the thought of Knives makes him. Though it is still pretty funny that Meryl just isn't having it.

Also funny: Meryl versus the Worms, round one. Worms 1, Meryl 0.

Roberto greeting Tonis is really cute. He's a grump, but he's never an asshole to kids.

Ahhhh Tonis gives Vash his bugs and Vash pats his head and then he moves to take his hand away Tonis grabs it so he'll keep doing it and then when Rosa tells Tonis to leave Vash look dismayed and waves goodbye and it is so cute and IT IS SO SAD.

Because Rosa loves her son, wants him healthy and happy and safe, wants him shielded from the violence of the world and from decisions like pulling a gun on the hero of your town who's been nothing but good to you, better than you deserve - and yet we saw Rosa come to the decision that she would do this last episode. Right about... here. See the way she moves from standing in front of him, almost protectively, to beside him, clearing the way? By the look on her face, she doesn't want to. Vash proved himself yet again afterwards, saved the town without hesitation the moment it was endangered at great risk to himself. He's a good man, a friend, someone she trusts. But it's not him Rosa's thinking of now. It's not even the town. It's Tonis.

I have to say, Roberto doesn't look shocked or concerned. He just wearily sets down his mug and raises his hands, expression unchanged. Meanwhile Meryl's turned into a cartoon.

Vash understands. He didn't fight back against the MPs. He didn't instigate the duel. It's because of him that this is necessary. That just doesn't mean he's going to make it easy for them.

Ah, that old Stampede special: the undignified leg-spread landing.

Man the English dub is good, but it's this episode I started to realise how good. It's incredibly funny. "The furious fists of the Nebraska Family challenge you to a duel!" "Felt the fury right there!" "Money! Come back!" "I hope you like pancakes, because you're going to become one!"

There's one translation I'm not sold on, though, and it's Nebraska declaring "Power is justice! Power is truth!" I had the same problem in Persona 5 Royal when I played it and the characters kept going on about how they'll "prove our justice". It sounds so awkward.

From what I can tell, the word they're using translates more clearly to "moral rightness" or "righteousness", and the score title for Stampede renders what Nebraska says better: might is right. He's advocating Social Darwinism, basically. It's the natural order of the world: the strong deserve to flourish, the weak deserve to perish.

Nebraska: I hate cowards like you! This whole planet is fighting for survival! Anyone who runs is bound to die like a sorry loser! But you, Stampede! How dare you?! / You coward! I despise waste-of-life cream puffs like you! You have to fight tooth and nail to survive in this world! If those who can't hack it run away and die like chickens, then so be it! But you? I expected more, Stampede!

Vash: You might be right that I'm too timid. But is that such a terrible thing? Is fighting everything head-on so important? Even if it gets someone killed? / Okay, I may not be the bravest, but what's so terrible about being a little timid? Is fighting head-on always right? It risks lives, and for what?

Nebraska: Weapons… are made for fighting! Do you get it now?! There's no future for those who don't fight! / I might as well, huh? It's what the damn thing's made for! That'll show ya! Any snivelling slug too scared to fight must die!

Vash: Come on, can you back off? I really don't want to fight anyone. / Can you guys cool it for a second? I'm really not in the mood for violence.

Nebraska: That's the attitude that pisses me off! / When the world ends, will it ask if you're in the mood?

It's kinda funny that Nebraska keeps going on about it, though, because he also keeps demanding accommodation for his son's weakness. If he was really committed he'd rely only on himself instead of endangering Gofsef. And yet oddly enough, it's the hypocrisy which saves him, because it's how Rosa realises how much they have in common. He loves Gofsef, just like she loves Tonis, and Vash forgives them both.

Enjoy the subtle gag of Meryl mirroring her "parents'" expressions, BTW.

Nabraska judging the townspeople for drinking before 5:00PM as if he didn't just destroy half the place trying to steal their only power source.

Gofsef being creeped out by Tonis's Worm buddies.

And Roberto visibly tuning out as Meryl tells him off.

I think the reason this feels like it's all happening so fast is because this is the place where an episode of the older adaptation would end, leaving some implied time to pass before the next crisis. But this isn't twenty-six self-contained episodes, it's twelve instalments of one story. The running man must continue to run, because it was never humans he was running from.

And I didn't realise this until now, but the drone in Vash's room? It's looking for him, or his things. It doesn't find either.

When it doesn't...

E.G. launches his assault, though the drones had been patrolling since the previous night. Vash was about to leave when he heard the scream from the diner and rushed back to help. And so he stayed long enough for E.G.'s master to arrive in person.

Whatever happened in Jeneora Rock, it seems it was necessary for Vash to witness it, so E.G. had instructions to keep him in place.