#that does not mean that people who don’t subscribe to the specific one that you subscribe to is immoral and bad!!

[h2o2-and-baking-soda]

“there’s only one true religion/god” okay i see you didn’t watch kamigami no asobi at the age of 12 and understand that all of the gods are going to school together to learn the true meaning of love from a highschooler like damn ya don’t have to drag us all into this

[thewalrusespublicist]

Hello! Love your blog and your takes, objective and sane and well researched chefs kiss! I had a blast scrolling through it like it was my feed yesterday lol can you elaborate on klaus and Paul if possible? People mostly talk about them like it’s already understood but I don’t understand 😭 I’m kinda lost on their (all of them, including stu) dynamic during the hamburg years specifically when it comes to Paul

Aww thank you anon! Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol). So I really, really needed this. :)

Oh Paul vs/and the Exsis, it's quite a long one so buckle up.

Disclaimer: all of the people involved are essentially art kids/young adults who are famously the most exhausting people on the planet. Do not blame them for being dramatic, it's their natural state of being.

If we want to go into Paul and Klaus, we have to kind of start with the John, Paul and Stu. Now these three are a mess that's too big to go into here (though I have THOUGHTS about how Stu is utilised in the Beatles narrative that I'm more than happy to share if asked lmaooo). But in short(ish):

John and Paul had had an intense year and a bit of closeness. Then John meets Stu at art college.

John and Stu become c l o s e for many reasons (being peers, living together, similar artistic leanings + ego, Stu being a gentle guide to John, sharing art projects/poetry/long letters and feelings etc.) They became 'closer than two men' a friend had seen (remind us of anyone gang?). Most importantly, John could be open about his feelings with Stu in letters. If John had BPD which I subscribe too, I think Stu was his 'favourite person' and as Aunt Mimi said his 'special' and 'closest friend' from this period up until his death (though imho the transference back to Paul was starting prior to his death).

It's not clear what exactly happens as there's differing accounts but Stu uses his money to buy a new bass as John wants him to come to Scotland then Hamburg and play bass as he will 'look good'.

Paul doesen't like being relegated to the seat behind John and Stu when he used to sit next to John. He also isn't thrilled when he gets to Hamburg and not only does he get to sleep in the other room with just Pete but Stu cannot be arsed to play because he's hanging out with his hot new girlfriend Astrid (more on her in a sec). Our boy has spent a lot of money he doesen't have and given up on further education to be here and is jealous and annoyed.

Paul and Stu probably were friends and I think their mutual antipathy is overegged. HOWEVER, can't be denied that Paul is jealous of Stu and Stu is jealous of Paul (and getting flare-ups from increasing brain damage). John and Stu tease Paul and steal his money, Paul is mean to Stu (as are the others encouraged by John). Do I think John was playing games with both of them? Yup. They end up scuffling onstage because Paul said something about Astrid (not clear what, one account is that Paul said that Stu could borrow money off Astrid if he needed it which isn't really that bad a dig but who knows Yoko??).

Why is this dynamic important? Because it directly impacts the 'Exsis' (Klaus, Jurgen and Astrid's) group's relationship with Paul:

The Exsis were young artists living in Hamburg. They were artistic, cool, interesting and edgy. They were paramount in introducing the Beatles to cool new concepts, aesthetics and ideas. They also took themselves VERY seriously ie pretentious as all hell.

Astrid met Stu at Kaiserkeller and hit it off. They embarked on an all-consuming romance.

Letter from Stu to Astrid, c.1961

I've seen people say they were the proto-John and Yoko in terms of making their romance the whole world and influencing John years down the line and I can see that. With Astrid and Stu it's far more endearing though because they ARE young and the right age to have a relationship like that. Stu is popular with the Exsis in general and brings them into the Beatles group.

The Exsis didn't like or trust Paul. Astrid said later it was because Paul was 'too nice' which she herself admits is a ridiculous reason. The others also thought he was a bit of a show-off. It makes sense though if you're cool and edgy and want to stick it to the world to be sus about a guy being friendly show-off with seemingly no inner world. The other problem was a perfectly reasonable one imo, you're not going to like your friends frenemy who you don't connect with. Compound that with Paul not taking drugs as much as George or John and being in the other room and you begin to have a division.

Paul had been popular his whole life, like from what we know since-primary-school-popular. He had never been in this position before, let alone in a foreign country. I believe it became a bit of a brutal feedback loop. Paul's response to this type of behaviour consistently it to go more surface level, snide and passive aggressive. The natural response of any group with a designated 'ugh' person is to become more shady and exclusionary. The cycle continues and gets worse. Stu letters back home at this time says that in a shocking turn of events Paul is hated by everyone but Stu 'just feels sorry for him' (lmao OF COURSE you do Stu, its giving 'loathing' from Wicked lol). Klaus drew a lot of artwork of the early Hamburg Beatles that includes this highly unpleasant picture of Paul in 1961 which I think says a lot:

Klaus is also a musician and fancies himself a place on bass. When Stu leaves to pursue art, Klaus asks John if he could take over but John says that he thinks Paul is going to do it.

Klaus has later gone on to say that he thinks he was a better bass player for the Beatles' sound at the start and then Paul developed into being better for the group. It's one of those I cannot believe those words actually left your mouth and you are not deeply embarrased moments. But it's important to keep this desire and viewpoint in mind.

Klaus stays in touch with all of them and close to John and George, George especially. They visit Klaus on holiday in tenerife in early 60s and Klaus later draws the Revolver artwork.

This whole context of how they met and Hamburg is crucial and has to be taken into account when hearing Klaus' statements. Klaus and Paul started off with a lack of connection and with Paul on the outs, the Exsis got an incomplete view of Paul and an inaccurate snapshot of the Beatles dynamic overall. This is why when Klaus says 'Paul was always slightly apart from the others' and that 'divorce was inevitable' from early 60s we should remember that that is what Klaus is expecting to see as that's what he saw in Hamburg.

Klaus wanted to be the bass player (and was holding out hope to join a band with George and John in the 70s), was really close with George and suffers as many did with 'John Lennon aspiring boy bestie syndrome' (JABBS). Paul had what Klaus wanted and from the Hamburg experience, you could see why Klaus thought he might have an in and may have been jealous of this 'shallow' Paul of all people having the connection that he felt he should/could have with John and George. As with most sufferers of JABBS, he took John's side with everything, always refused to say any regrets about his involvement in How do you Sleep and thought Paul was fine with the song because 'he was even closer to John than [he] was. (Again Klaus to put yourself in that level of closeness with John that it's comparable to Paul is ???.) JABBS and its secondary condition PMIETGSH (Paul McCartney isn't even that good shut up) are virulent diseases that incapacitate sufferers objectivity and judgement, so it's fair to say that Klaus is a source you have to take with a pinch of salt on the early 70s period.

It seems that Klaus and Paul did get on a lot better the older they got (probably without the jealousy complication of George and John) and developed a sweet friendship. Here is Klaus' tribute to Paul for his 80th:

Here is the jam session he's talking about:

He now wants Paul to live in his house lmao so things have gotten warmer. But Klaus and Paul's dynamic is a great example of how and why natural bias, little jealousies and spats can consciously or subconsciously influence our internal narrative and why we need to be so careful about not taking one perspective as gospel.

[crtter]

You want to know the most notorious and successful example I can think of a person being dishonest about something being a fetish and involving random people in it?

Nikocado Avocado. 

I’ve never watched a video of his and I never will because I think this kind of deception is despicable, but by what I know of him, Nikocado Avocado presents himself as formerly thin mukbanger whose life “spiraled out of control” and made him gain weight to his audience. In his mukbang videos, he does stuff like cry on camera out of self pity and gets into fights with his boyfriend in which he berates him for being too fat and he denies being fat at all. This attracted a very specific audience: fatphobes and 4channer/kiwifarmers (tbh, I don’t think many of the latter AREN’T fatphobes). 

People watch him make a big show out of how he “has lost control of his life” and use it to confirm their biases about fat people and justify treating them like garbage or take one look at his apparent emotional fragility and  “refusal to believe he’s fat” and decide he’s the perfect lolcow to stalk and make fun of. So he gets thousands of views and subscribers and mean comments about his appearance and how he’s “unhealthy”. He even has an OnlyFans, much to the amusement of both of these kinds of people. You see, they think it’s funny when someone who isn’t conventionally attractive feels good about themselves because they have the emotional maturity of toddler cavemen.

Most sensible people can probably tell he’s playing a character and doesn’t act like that in real life. But basically every single person I’ve ever seen discussing him online doesn’t realize something that completely changes the context of every single video he’s ever made: Nikocado Avocado’s videos are fetish content. He acts the way he does in them and very specifically cultivated this kind of audience because being treated this way arouses him. Everyone who has ever sent a mean comment his way has helped him get off.

[percyposting]

I think a lot about the Ministry and how it works as such a psychological horror. To me at least. When I think about it through Percy’s eyes during the war, it’s definitely horror. With murderers running the departments, people going missing everyday, thousands of arrests being made in such a short amount of time. The fear of it hanging over his head, that one misstep might land him in Azkaban. Maybe people he worked closely with would go missing and he’d just have to move on.

I also think about what it’s like for him to be so close to the Ministers, specifically Scrimgeour and Thicknesse. I find those two very interesting as characters. Scrimgeour is a hypocrite, and he’s not even a very good Minister, but he does die for the good of the people, for Harry and for Dumbledore’s cause. I like to imagine what it was like for Percy to work for him. To know him, then one day he “disappears” and then the next day there’s a new man at the head, Pius, who Percy is just suddenly working for as well. I’ve always found it interesting that each Minister kept Percy on. I know both Fudge and Scrimgeour did it to spy on the Weasleys and possibly Dumbledore and Harry by connection, which was always so futile and silly and showed how desperate they both were because Percy wouldn’t even speak a word of for to his family. But they kept him for that purpose. But then he’s kept with Thicknesse as well. Is this to keep spying? Or is it not to raise suspicion about their silent coup? I don’t think it’s either of these because I firstly, the Death Eaters had different means of spying on the Weasleys. They would track their every move. They didn’t need him. So this is an obvious no to me. And in regard to keeping suspicions low, I feel there’s nothing suspicious about changing staff for a new head of government. It’s normal, even for wizards, I’m sure.

So then why was he kept on? I honestly don’t know. Maybe I’m bad at analyzing this, but some reasons I can think of would be a way to trap him without imprisoning him. They keep him stuck under an imperiused Minister and keep an eye on him. Maybe they’re waiting for him to slip up.

I don’t believe for a second the idea they keep him on because they see any actual value in him. Even if Percy denounced his family on every level, they would still see him as a blood traitor and a Weasley. I don’t think that he’d be the exception when it comes to their suspicion about the Weasleys. One of the biggest flaws the Death Eaters/blood purists have is that they assign a label to those they deem lesser then never view them as anything other than that label. Percy is a Weasley, and to be a Weasley is to be a blood traitor. No amount of personal denouncing will change that, in my opinion! So I don’t think they keep him on because they feel he’s chill, or something. I think it’s more of a, we keep you here, we keep an eye on you, kind of thing. They put him in the perfect position to be tracked and studied and they wait for him to slip up so they can imprison him as a traitor.

That leads me back to the whole psychological horror element. All of this feels like horror to me. Percy talks about trying to avoid imprisonment at the end of Deathly Hallows but I feel the truth is he was imprisoned. In the Ministry. I can’t imagine what it was like to serve under a Minister you must know is being controlled — I always liked and subscribed to the idea that Percy knew Thicknesse wasn’t himself. Does this make sense in terms of how he acts towards him at the end of Deathly Hallows? No! But I believe it anyway.

After all this thinking, it makes sense for one to come to the conclusion that Percy would never return to the Ministry again. There will always be something haunted about it to him. After Scrimgeour, especially. All it would be is a graveyard.

[embodiedfutures]

I am not Palestinian nor am I Jewish. Be that as it may, I hate settler colonialism, even more so as a brown, bi, genderqueer ‘Afab’ person. I just wanted to say. 1) your post on the topic is more empathetic and insightful than I’ve seen a lot of people be about this over my entire life and I’ve asked questions of both sides, I tend to stay out of the fray cause I don’t feel it my place to speak over Palestinians and Jews (who are critical of Israel). But, do you have any advice for being a better ally to Palestinians and combating anti-semitism and anti Jewish racism in the everyday?

hey sweetheart! thank you for your commitment to the movement and your earnestness. i am not Palestinian or Jewish either, so i did what is always considered best: i asked those who are! that's exactly why our Advocacy Committee within BFP exists :)

from one of our Palestinian youth volunteers:

if you have the money to do so, donate to the cause! the unfortunate truth is that to gain access to various resources, things cost money. more specifically, donate to humanitarian aid funds you've done the research for and are sure are doing work on the ground. even better if you can donate directly to those being affected! this includes Palestinians on the ground but also within the diaspora who need self care items, especially for all the work they've been doing educating others. for example, this is an organization this member volunteers with and trusts:

and these are two amazon lists of Palestinian youth within the diaspora:

share posts by Palestinians! the big thing is really just getting the word out, sharing their perspective. Zionist propaganda is hard to penetrate so the least we can do is uplift their voices by sharing!

from one of our Jewish youth volunteers:

understand that not all Jewish people are Zionists and not all Zionists are Jewish. saying the two are equivalent is not only antisemitic but ignores the blatant statistics, like the growing number of anti-Zionist Jewish young adults in the united states for example, or the fact that the biggest supporters of israel are actually evangelicals.

to that same point, know that israel has been purposefully trying to conflate the two in order to then label anyone who does critique the state as automatically antisemitic. it is a tool.

additionally, be careful with the rhetoric you choose to spread & subscribe to (i.e., watch how they describe israel. do they refer to the people as Jews or Zionists? it can tell you a lot about how educated they are and their vague stance on the matter)

my own additions as a longstanding ally and friend of those involved:

learn your history! there is a clear attempt to distort the history of Palestine. learn what Palestine was like before israel's occupation. learn about the way pioneering Zionists openly called Zionism "colonialism" and didn't even try to hide it. learn about how discussions of the Zionist project were discussed roughly 80 years before the Holocaust ever happened. this does not mean that some Jews did not, in fact, move to Palestine in response to such a horrific event, but in the words of a Jewish mutual of mine, israel's rhetoric literally weaponizes Jewish trauma by conflating these two dates in history.

BDS movement! stands for boycott, divestment, and sanctions!

when possible, actually speak to people of Palestinian descent. like seriously. posts are great, but actually speaking to people who are knowledgeable in real time can be so helpful for getting your questions addressed, so long as you are respectful, of course. a great place to do this, not even to advertise, is actually our Discord server linked in our bio @bfpnola

know that language matters, as inconsequential as it may seem. in the words of my Palestinian, Kashmiri, and Artsakhi friends and/or mutuals, when speaking of occupations, we capitalize the occupied people's country (ex. Palestine) while not doing so for the occupier's (ex. israel) to delegitimize them.

learn about Hamas and its history/purpose. here are my notes on two podcast episodes let by Palestinians:

thank you for your ask! im sure i may think of other things later but these are my answers for now.

-- reaux (she/they)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Shanks. Oh Shanks…

Yes he is kinda the guy on the beach who wasn’t lying about knowing karate.

When we meet him he’s relaxing/chilling/taking a breather in a little hidden away port to get away from the Navy. This is in a world where stories about Pirates (and many actual Pirates) are about how much chaos and pain and destruction they bring simply looking for treasure. But not Shanks and not in Foosha.

He puts people at ease because there is no reason to antagonize or bully the locals. He spends his days flirting it up at the bar. When someone does come looking for a fight, he’s not easily baited either. Some things aren’t worth it, a message he teaches Luffy. It takes a kidnapping for Shanks to step up and remind everyone that not only is he a real pirate, but a dangerous one at that.

He also has scars. Very sexy scars. And they don’t seem to turn him bitter or spur him on life. His facial scarring is a lesson about how there are people who will never fight fair and if you’re going to get anywhere you should recognize and respond appropriately. And they really give some character and contrast to him. I really can’t explain why. He also SCARIFICED HIS ARM FOR A CHILD. This man jumps into the ocean knowing full well there is a legit sea monster waiting for a snack and swims out to save a boy who had idolized him, acted out, and eaten Shanks’ treasure. What kind of Pirate risks life and limb for a kid who took their most powerful possession? THEN!! Then this man is able to TURN BACK THE SEA MONSTER WITH A LOOK. That’s all! Just a very intense look saying “you may be called a Sea King but I am an Emperor so get!” (Ps he’s not an emperor yet) And it works!!

Now yes, he is a total slut. I personally subscribe to a specific endgame ship where such behavior changes when he falls in love but man is always going to have his manwhore vibe. But they are the best? Like he’s not creeping or forceful about it. He knows he’s attractive and he knows what parties interested in a night (or so) of fun look like. And if he were in this world now or back during the golden age of piracy, I would be like “yeah walking STD” but it seems like everyone whose anyone in One Piece has a capable doctor. If he did catch something he’d appropriatly take care of it.

Shanks is also not completely irresponsible. Man is captain of a ship with a crew and fleet who like him and believe in him. He makes world altering decisions on the regular. He has been granted audiences with the 5 elders. He fights other Emperors. He’s been playing a long game. His first teacher was the Pirate King. Yes, Beckmann definitely keeps things on track at times but Shanks isn’t like a toddler running in all the directions at once. He’s got a plan and he’s been sticking to it. And it’s been working really well.

As for the showers: I personally never thought about it but…in the world of One Piece every ship is complete with all the luxuries of life. This means Red Force is bound to have baths/showers. Shanks isn’t a DF eater so he can take baths and I assume while he might not everyday he does regularly. Plus with a man whose identity/brand is tied to his hair, he’s not letting that get grimy and greasy and dirty. I do believe there is some dependable vanity here which Zoro would lack.

TLDR; Shanks may initially look like a scary threat based on reputation, build, and scaring, but he has a gift for putting people at ease so they see him as some beach bum. But right below that his dangerous aura is ready to burst out when needed (usually in aide of a friend/ally or for his plan). He is an intelligent man who knows what is happening in the World and a very talented swordsman. And the layer below is someone who clearly loves life and all the wonderful things it can offer.

In summary: he has a genuine peacefulness about him that makes him feel safe (when not actively fighting as I mean “peaceful” in relation to being capible of great violence.) and he’s just sexy as sin.

For context, they're responding to this post about Shanks

That's the dichotomy of shakes. He goes from complete dork

To the absolutely terrifying Emperor of the Sea.

People like to talk about the yesification and glow-up of most of the characters post-time skip. The most prominent glow-up to me was the dedorkification of shanks. That man was a complete dork for most of the pre-time skip. Now in Wano. What happened?

He's got a whole new jawline and everything

But at least he still has his dorky moments

[therumpus]

Mini Interview with Jami Attenberg

By Denise S. Robbins

Jami Attenberg’s A Reason to See You Again (Ecco Press, 2024) is funny and quick-moving with a strong emotional core that explores what it really means to be family, through thick and thin. The novel revolves around the complicated family dynamics of a mother and her two daughters as they grow up and live through the cultural and technological changes throughout the 20th century, moving deftly between the thoughts of the characters in surprising ways. It’s wide-ranging, delving into various women’s relationships with work—or the absence of it. 

When she’s not writing books, she manages the highly popular Substack newsletter Craft Talk and its yearly challenge, “one thousand words of summer,” where she motivates thousands of subscribers to write a thousand words a day for ten days straight. 

We spoke over Zoom about her writing process and how this latest book fits in with her life’s work.

***

The Rumpus: A Reason to See You Again is your tenth published book. That’s a lot of books! Is there something you're trying to accomplish that you haven't in your earlier works?

Jami Attenberg: I wanted the book to cover more time. My last few novels were much more compact. Then when I wrote my memoir, I enjoyed how it spanned so many years and so many cities. It gave the story the chance to breathe. So, I wanted to apply that to the novel. I was also interested in having family members be separate from each other as opposed to being intimate and involved in each other’s lives. They were more spread out and spaced out. It’s also possible this desire to span more time and space came as a response to that particular claustrophobic feeling I had in the pandemic.

Rumpus: What seeded the idea behind this novel? 

Attenberg: I actually wrote about this in my newsletter [Craft Talk]. During the pandemic, I was looking at a lot of vintage clothes on Etsy and kept seeing these white puffy shirts. I started thinking about a woman wearing it and being somebody's cool aunt. Generally, characters show me the way into a book. And so, the cool aunt, Shelly Cohen, was the first character for me. I pictured her at a kitchen counter in the suburbs talking to her family, with all of them leading different lives, interested in each other but also always a little annoyed with each other.

Rumpus: Does that dynamic have any resemblance to reality? How much of yourself is in this book and these characters and their relationships?

Attenberg: None of these characters are like anybody that I know, really. But they’re adjacent to people I know. They feel like they live in a neighborhood I’ve lived in before. Or maybe they’re a third cousin. Someone you met once and feels familiar, even if you can’t say exactly who they are. 

Rumpus: How do you find the central core of a story with multiple main characters? What are they all hovering around? 

Attenberg: The way time moves forward in this book is the core, and how the characters are impacted by time. Time is both the structure and the thrust. For example, the way they communicate at the beginning of the book has changed by the end of it, often expressed in terms of technological advancements. And those kinds of changes are ones that can only emerge specifically over the passage of years or decades of time.

Rumpus: So, technology changes relationships in this book. But you could say it just provides your main characters with new ways of ignoring each other. 

Attenberg: There’s one scene near the end of the book where two characters are driving in a car and a third one calls them on a cellphone. And they really don’t want to talk to this person, but there’s no way of ultimately avoiding it: we live in an era where you can track people’s locations all the time. It’s vastly different than earlier in the book, when it’s Nancy’s twenty-first birthday and she desperately wants to talk to her family, and she has to leave her house, walk down to the corner payphone, put money in it to make a long-distance call, and hope that somebody's there and picks up at this specific moment in time. In a way that phone call is so much more meaningful. But their communication still has meaning at the end of the book, when they finally do break through to each other. 

Rumpus: A lot of important life events in this story aren’t actually in the book but are referenced offscreen or obliquely. How did you decide what to put in the story versus what to reference offscreen?

Attenberg: These people are not confrontational until it’s too late. They’re trying to figure out how to exist with a problem without actually dealing with it. So, these things feel far away to the reader because they feel far away to the characters. They don’t like dealing with things head on. But there are still feelings that are very much present. 

These things trigger other issues down the line, though. If you don’t deal with something in the moment, eventually it’s still going to show up. One of my characters doesn’t tell another character something very important, and when the other finds out, she is furious with her. It impacts their relationship forever. By choosing to avoid conflict, she created another conflict in the process. And a lie by omission is still a lie, and that’s certainly a plot point. 

Rumpus: I also wanted to highlight one particular line: “He thought it would be easier to explain themselves to the world if they lived in the same place, when actually they only had to explain themselves to themselves and no one else.” It feels like the heart of this story.

Attenberg: I wouldn’t say that line is the heart of the book, but it’s a touchstone line, one I hope people highlight on their Kindles, ha. The characters in this novel grew up during a certain time and place where they felt like there was a path for them with specific milestones they had to achieve to please the world in a certain kind of way. I think most people understand now that we don’t have to stay on that conventional path, that we don’t have to abide by anyone else’s rules. I think the characters in the book are happiest when they figure that out. Even if it takes a long time. 

Rumpus: On top of writing novels, you also run Craft Talk and the yearly “one thousand words of summer” challenge, with daily letters of encouragement from various authors. Does this community enliven your own novel writing? 

Attenberg: It keeps me on track. And every year there’s a letter from one of the contributing writers that hits the right chord and comes at the right time. That’s the beauty of these letters of writing advice. You never know when you’re going to need it. This year, that letter came from Jennine Capó Crucet. It was about writing from a place where you know you can throw it all away. So that’s what I did. I gave myself permission to just write something I could throw away. Then I loved everything I wrote, and now I’ve written thirty thousand words this summer, the new beginning of the book, and it's great. I definitely feel the accountability. Every year. We're doing it together. It's equalizing.

Rumpus: Even somebody who's written ten books needs that accountability sometimes.

Attenberg: People need it, and it works. It really works. But also, you don't need it. We can write all the time on our own. But during one thousand words of summer, it feels like a friend is there with me. 

Rumpus: So, you’re working on another novel now. How many more novels do you have inside you?

Attenberg: I’m not planning to stop writing. Will my next novels get published? Who knows. Does it matter? Probably not. How many books do I have in me? A million. I’m in my fifties now. I’ve slowed down a bit but know more of what I want and can look back at what I’ve done. And I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. 

[moonstruckme]

https://www.tumblr.com/moonstruckme/771756872712830976/maeee-im-curious-whats-ur-new-job-gonna-be

mae ohmg this is exactly the field i want to get in to at some point in my life!! how did you get into publishing? it feels like such a niche field even though it isn’t but nobody i talk to can give me any advice😭 (they work in english based fields but not publishing specifically)

Hey babe, just a disclaimer I don’t feel qualified to give advice but that’s never stopped me before (which is to say, take this with some grains of salt) so I’ll try to tell you whatever I can based on my experience :)

The job I have right now is at an independent publisher in the city where I live, which isn’t a major publishing city. We do hybrid publishing, which honestly also isn’t my first choice (I wanted to go traditional, and being hybrid means we also publish lots of business and economics books, which isn’t really my area of interest) but after applying to trad publishing jobs at big 5 companies (as well as lots of smaller ones, magazines, etc.) for almost a year now I’ve become more than willing to make some compromises haha. The bad news is, from my experience I would say you really do need to know people to break into publishing. I didn’t get a single interview until November, and when I finally did I’m pretty sure it was because I had friends at both places I interviewed (one of which is the job I have now). It’s a bit upsetting honestly, but the good news is you can forge these connections so long as you’re in a position to put in the effort; I got an interview at my dream imprint because a couple of years ago I messaged an editorial assistant there on LinkedIn, arranged to meet over zoom, and kept up with her from there. She said I could use her as a reference on my application, and although I didn’t ultimately get that job her vouching for me did get me a lot farther than I think I would have gotten otherwise; I have an offer from them to reach back out directly when a position I want comes up (which I get seems like small potatoes, but after 8+ months of hearing nothing it felt huge to me). So while things may not work that way for everyone, I did feel like who I knew or didn’t know played a big part in my job search.

Some other things:

try to get an internship if you can! I really regret prioritizing other things over that, and ofc now I'll never know how much an internship would've helped me but I get the sense that experience with a big 5 publisher gives you a major edge (if you can't get an internship with one of those, any pub experience should work and will likely look better on your resume than most other experience)

also I would prioritize administrative experience! Most likely no matter what you do you will start as some kind of intern or assistant, so showing that you can really do that role is great

attending any seminars/info sessions is a great way not just to learn about the industry but also to find professionals to potentially connect with

if you have any particular imprints you want to work for, I would stay as up-to-date as possible with what they're publishing. Mentioning a recent title you liked in your application or interview goes a long way

listening to the manuscript academy or the print run podcast (personal fav) teaches you a lot about the industry, as does subscribing to things like publisher's lunch and also just adding pub professionals on linkedin to see what they're up to

overall I've felt that publishing is very gatekept for people trying to enter it, so it can be hard to know what you don't know, but just learning as much as you can and taking whatever connections anyone will offer you is my best advice! If you can, try to frame your resume to make you look like someone who's both immersed in the literary ecosystem (less important if you're going into design, accounting, etc, but still) and can do the jobs you're applying to

Sorry this is so long! I'm really into publishing and have been over my head in job applications since last february, so I have a lot of thoughts lol and plenty still I didn't write down. From my own experience and from others I've talked to, the process of trying to get a job in publishing can be really discouraging, but if you're sure it's what you want I think it can happen if you keep at it! I've had a lot more interest from publishing houses in the past couple of months and I'm not really sure why that is, but I plan to stay where I am for a year or so to get some experience before beginning to apply to those dream jobs again. It's hard to predict what the industry is going through at any given time or what factors are affecting their hiring in different departments, so things can change quickly. Good luck!!

[strawberrystepmom]

kendall idk if I’m late but I want your opinion: I’m a gemini with gemini sun, gemini moon (gemini venus, mars and mercury) and scorpio rising. people have told me it’s bad but I don’t understand any of it. how bad is it kendall??? how long do I have left???? djakskdkdf no but seriously what does it mean? please help

rumi!!!! smiled so big seeing you here. i hope you've been doing well <3333

i firmly subscribe to the logic that there is no one bad or good placement or combination of placements. you may have some difficulties communicating in yourself and with others or maybe emotional strife but it's nothing that makes you a bad or good person or even speaks to the placements, yk? it's just something else to work through. i think that's good perspective to have.

there is a lot of gemini in your chart (5/6 big six is a record i've never seen anything like it before and if anything it makes you really special at least to me) and honestly this is telling me that you are a person that is good at kind of breezing through things. i know that may read as negative but it's not because the ability to just sort of float by is one of the best aspects of gemini. it means you don't take shit too deeply. you can roll with the punches. this is impressive.

you are likely a person who is easy to talk to with a genuine curiosity for the world and everyone you meet. you probably ask people questions they remember like years down the line after hanging out with you because that's the impact of a gemini. they leave really lasting impressions and people like them. don't ever underestimate your own likability because i think a lot of prominent air placement holders (gemini and aquarius specifically) let self doubt rule over the genuine evidence of how liked they are, which hey, don't we all do that but don't let it paint your self image blue when it doesn't need to be.

scorpio rising being the outlier here is delicious to me. people are already drawn to you because of allllll that gemini energy but there is a deep desire people have when it comes to scorpio. it stokes something inside of all of us that's like "hm. i need to know more." and can be almost a little siren-y which again, hot. you're probably pretty emotional as all prominent water sign holders are but my one piece of advice or thing that may be an issue for you is distrust of yourself stoked by scorpio. it will do that to person (scorpio moon holder hi nice to meet you). trust in the lightness of gemini to keep you from sinking because it will.

[eowynstwin]

It’s going to sound mean but you seem so pressed over Umiko’s alleged earnings, it’s worrying. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that seeing what she probably earns could make you feel hurt, but you sound jealous and not in a ‘I wish her well and I hope I’ll be able to earn as much or even more’ but more like ‘why the hell people pay her for her art if they don’t pay me for mine?’. And mentioning her specifically couple of times in your recent posts??? It almost sounds like you have a problem with HER and that SHE is being paid for her art and not you. I both write and draw, I know how much work, effort and time it takes and I am happy for Umiko and other artists, because it seems that people are willing to pay for what we create, you just have to know how to sell your product and it is not Umiko’s fault that it took you this long to figure something out. I’m happy her success motivated you and you decided to talk to your friend who can help you with your art, but seriously your recent posts made me feel like you have a serious problem with that girl. One more thing, you mentioned that she earns more in whatever amount of time than your mom in a year like what about it? Is it Umiko’s fault? People per her because they want to support her and they want to have access to her art, and I guess she wouldn’t earn as much in a normal job.

So first of all, I welcome you to quote directly (not paraphrase--highlight, copy, and paste) where I said or even implied that I think that Umiko should not be paid as much as she is.

Second of all, I mentioned Umiko as often I did because she is one of my favorite artists, not because I dislike her. I adore her work and believe she deserves every dollar she has made. She works very hard and is one of the few artists who I think is actually getting adequate compensation for that work. In addition, she seems to be a very kind person, and I will never resent the success of good people.

Thirdly, am I like not supposed to be jealous of someone making nearly $1million a year off fandom work????????????????????????? Sorry, but I think I'm allowed to feel envious that someone in my community is making more than twenty-four times the money I make, especially considering that I've been making fandom work for cod for about as long as she has. Maybe not as much, but I've been pretty consistent for the past year, despite the fact that I've been doing it for free.

I'm allowed to be salty that fandom culture permits her to ask for payment but fanfiction is just taken for granted as free content. Fandom does not bat an eyelash when artists ask for a subscription fee to access fanart porn, but writers can barely get readers to kick them an occasional $5 through ko-fi. Umiko didn't "figure something out" before I did--she has been allowed to monetize her work every step of the way because fandom has collectively agreed that it is acceptable for her to do so.

Umiko is not the only artist, either--Bluegiragi and Wombywoo are both making a significant amount of money off of their fanart. This is not guesswork on my part; the number of these artists' paid subscribers is available publicly on their patreon pages, and if you went to fourth grade math you're probably able to multiply that by the average fees of their tier lists. It is not hard to figure out that these artists are making a very comfortable living, or at least an extremely lucrative side hustle, off of work they produce for the Call of Duty fandom.

And I'm not saying they shouldn't! I never did! My beef with this fact is that this mode of income is not available to fanfiction writers! I have known writers who have written full length novels of carefully crafted stories that will never see even a fraction of a penny for their work, because fandom insists that fanfiction should not be monetized!

And knowing what I know now, I reject that notion entirely. It is beyond ridiculous, it is exploitative. My work, and the work of my friends, is just as labor-intensive, just as time-intensive, and just as skill-intensive as the work Umiko and the rest produce. If these artists deserve compensation for their fanwork--and I reiterate, they do--then how can we say that fanwriters don't?

As a postscript, I think you took my arguments in very bad faith, and I don't appreciate the finger-wagging you came into my inbox to do. I don't have to simper about other people's worth for my assertions about my own to be valid.

[talenlee]

Do you want to DO Magic though?

Not Magic: The Gathering. That’s something with a lot of very clear onramps, and if you want to try that, go check out Magic: The Gathering Arena and refuse to spend any money on it. No, I mean if you want to pick up magic tricks, what’s your approach?

I learned my first magic tricks from books. I learned these tricks when I was a child and for the most part left that skill lie fallow. These books were always full of names like ‘100 magic tricks for kids,’ but the thing with a lot of those tricks is that fundamentally they’re still just simplified versions of things that other magic tricks want to do as well. You’re always engaging with the control of attention.

Then we got Youtube which is full of ways to learn about magic, and while they’re not nearly as procedurally exceptional (like the iconic text The Expert At The Card Table), the youtube space is still full of magic tutorials that are parcelled out, individualised and handy for making some things seem less intimidating. I’m gunna share now some I like and use.

Top 10 Most Difficult Card Moves According to Erik

Watch this video on YouTube

This may seem a ridiculous place to start but this isn’t a tutorial. It’s an introduction to the Youtube channel of Penguin Magic and particularly Erik Tait. I don’t know how good Erik Tait is, truly, because I’m an amateur non-expert, but he makes me think he’s very good. Particularly is his technique with what we call the Snap Deal, which is incredibly complicated and I only kind of understand how it works.

When I want to share tricks and demonstrations, it’s important to know that one of the things I’m showing are the kinds of tricks I know I can do and the kinds of tricks I’ve practiced. I don’t have a good audience and the magic tricks I do know and do are a little weak in general, but I do try and practice these methods. What that means is that rarely am I interested in tricks where material technique completely screws me. I find genuinely complex handling and top-tier execution impressive, so first of all, I want to show this video from Penguin Magic. Here, Erik Tait demonstrates a short list of fantastically challenging techniques which is unfortunately just too hard for me to really feel like I can ever get to that level, with how I practice.

But surprise, this is one of the sources. Penguin Magic are an extremely weird, kinda ropy-feeling website but they have free resources there. You can go, download some of them and you’re done if you want. I have not bought anything from them, and yes, the website looks shonky as heck, but the free introductory videos and five free forces are all really good videos.

Appear to Be a Genius with This Mind Blowing Trick by Lennart Green! + Giveaway & Announcement

Watch this video on YouTube

This is an example of a prepared trick, where you have a standard deck of cards that you set up in a particular way, and then show it off. The thing about this trick is that the method is reasonably simple once you understand it, but the effect doesn’t require you have any meaningful handling. In fact, Lennart Green, the guy who popularised this trick, is renowned for a sloppy, mis-mangled card style. Green does this as a way to conceal the way he is an absolute master at card handling, but it also means this trick works well for people who aren’t comfortable with challenging fine movements.

This specific trick is a good gateway to the rest of the channel. One of the hard parts of good magic tutorials, which 4suits is good at, is toning down obvious skills (like fans, shuffles and cuts) so that the result doesn’t look intimidating to new players. The channel has a lot of what I think of as ‘monetisation cruft’ – you know, calls to action, references to liking and subscribing, all that stuff. But the actual tricks shown are nice and clear, and it includes some self-working math puzzle tricks, that I think are a good place to start.

Learn this Simple 4 Ace Card Trick (Magic Tutorial)

Watch this video on YouTube

Jeremy Tan, I’m not going to lie, part of what I like about his tutorials is the editing is very, very clean. Single videos, captions and good strong blocking. This trick here is modestly more complicated than the above recommendations as starter tricks, but it involves one of the first skills you’re going to want to appreciate as a card magician, which is picking up extra cards while hiding that you’re doing it.

The other thing, and this is a small thing, but it’s frustrating, that I know for a fact a lot of the history of magic in the culture around me is from outsiders, weirdoes and outcasts, but a lot of the performers producing and sharing work on the internet are, well, white guys like me who have it as a hobby. Michael Vincent has an amazing set of tricks, but I can’t show you him demonstrating how to do them, because he doesn’t, but other white guys will show off his tricks and how to do them. There’s a bunch of really good artists performing out of all sorts of parts of Asia but I don’t know how to find them or understand their methods (because of the language barrier) I can’t connect a newcomer to that kind of space. Being able to front Jeremy Tan – who seems to credit work and be nice and clear about what he’s doing – is a nice way to connect to that thread of Not Just More White Guys.

I guess there’s also another channel I should mention here because I think it’s good as a resource. It’s Sankey Magic. Sankey’s big thing, which I am okay with, is that he uses a lot of prepped and gimmicked pieces, specialised components in his tricks. That’s not a bad thing! That’s not a problem at all! But it’s a different kind of trick.

I think, personally, for vibes, being able to prepare and be comfortable with tricks as just a performance thing, is a better place to start than with gimmicked components. I like gimmicked parts, I think they’re great, and I think part of what makes them great is the confidence and preparation they build. But I think that being able to build these tools is going to be easier when you know what you like out of magic performances.

Good channel, just not the best option here.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[calamitydaze]

Why did he crop the Snapchat logs before where the "ur gorgeous" comment would have been

Why did he use transcripts that could be edited and not upload the logs where it could be separately looked over (like, for example, Kwite did with his text messages)

Why did he not provide evidence that Jamie's statement was actually from Jamie herself

Why would Sam hang on to an edited video for three years and release it only to retract it again less than a month later

Why did he edit his screenshot of burner 22 in his final tweet to omit the far more likely possibility of Sam lying in his video

Why did he get fucking Keem "if you remember 9/11 I don't want you" Star of all people on board to announce shit

He just made everything even more sus. Ppl will really believe anything if a white man says it confidently and adds some snappy editing lmao

these are almost certainly not good-faith questions coming from a place of healthy skepticism and care for victims, but for the sake of discussion i’ll pretend they are and indulge you:

1. i went back and looked at when he showed the logs and it looks to me like they’re being shown in reverse, with the oldest at the bottom and the most recent at the top. in that case both “gorgeous as fuck” and “fine as hell” would be visible— in between “got that 500 snap score” and “congrats :)”— but they’re not. the logs are kinda hard to make sense of so tell me if i’m misinterpreting them. but in any case, it doesn’t really matter because as stated in the video, if they happened it was after she was 18 and he had no context towards her being a fan, and compliments aren’t evidence of grooming anyway. and if he’s lying about them not being there, amanda’s had a year to download her own data and prove it

2. assuming you’re talking about the instagram dms here since he did show the logs of the snaps, but i mean…… idfk?? again, it doesn’t really matter since dry ass instagram dms are also not evidence of grooming 😭 but fwiw, i read through the transcript and it matches up with what i remember from reading the actual screenshots that amanda herself showed (and as demonstrated in the video, screenshots don’t automatically mean something is trustworthy anyway)

3. genuinely, what do you propose he could show as “proof” that the statement came from jamie without further exposing her to unwanted attention? i understand being skeptical of its validity and i raised an eyebrow too, but it matches up perfectly with both what we know she wants based on her twitter bios and separate statement from her that was given to keemstar and nicholas deorio by dream, and dream’s offered to prove the authenticity to any creator who reaches out. and, even if jamie herself doesn’t want to speak on it, it would be very easy for anyone else actually involved to dispute it but yet no one has. occam’s razor

4. frankly i have no idea why any of these people did what they did! does it really matter?

5. i think you sent this before the burner reactivated, but they’ve now said that they’re certain sam lied to them, so 🤷‍♀️ moot point

6. regardless the kind of person keemstar is, he’s got a wide reach and dream clearly wanted as many as people as possible to see his video, including audiences who don’t follow or subscribe to him specifically. makes sense to me

[whisperwillyou]

Thanks so much for the fic list! There’s so many here I can’t believe it! You must have read a lot to find these and I super appreciate you taking the time!

I should have included this in my last post but now I’m curious are any of these dadrius? I joined the fandom late and missed why everyone like it- to me he seems actually kind of mean to Hunter and I don’t really like dadrius. The first one looks like it might be, but even if a few are you gave so many recs I think I can easily avoid it.

No problem at all, my friend!

And yes, I have read a lot of fics

A LOT

Consequently, I’ve also had the misfortune of being tricked into reading many a romance fic because they weren’t tagged properly, or weren’t tagged at all, or added the huntlow tag 10 chapters in when I’d already subscribed to the fic etc. 😒 but I ADORE Luz and Hunter, so just keep putting myself though it lol. I’m glad I can spare you the suffering!

“Your Hands do More Than Hurt” is the only one on there that’s specifically Dadrius centered.

I don’t really get dadrius either 😅 I can see why people enjoy it, but I’m apathetic to it at best. I think it could have been an interesting dynamic if they’d gotten to develop it properly, but like everything else it got rushed by the cancelation. Dude needs to apologize to Hunter tho before I can ever forgive him for being such a dick to a literal child lol “you’re very good at doing exactly as you’re told” HE’S 16, AUTISTIC, ONLY GETS TO LEAVE THE CASTLE ON WEEKENDS, AND WAS RAISED BY THE GUY WHOS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU CURRENTLY PLOTTING A REBELLION. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT DARIUS???

He does have a significant role in “What We are is the Sum of a Thousand Lies” but in my opinion he’s very well utilized! this fic actually warmed me up to Darius and Hunter’s relationship. Overall it’s been more focused on Luz, Hunter, and Flapjack. Darius’s role in the fic is equal to Eda’s. Definitely worth trying in my opinion! I wasn’t sold on it either until chapter 3 dropped and i was like “OH THIS AUTHOR GETS ME-“ chapter 3 got me hooked 😂

[wingsdippedingold]

If it was really just about calling out sjm and her views then you would have included all of her characters in that statement instead of just the ones you have a problem with. This series was written by a Zionist and you think a character SHE wrote wouldn’t reflect her opinions. Nesta does just like rhysand or feyre or cassian or emerie or amren or Gwyn or any other character written by her. They ALL are born from her and her ignorance. No character can be separated from her when she created them. Nesta reflects her ignorance just as every other character does.

also that comment about Rhysand turning feyre into a zionist was just so ignorant I don’t even know what to say about it. Just WHY would you say that? I’m not trying to attack you I’m just so confused on why you or anyone would say something like this?

i definitely understand that what I said was wrong, and I’m not trying to justify it:

I focused on those three in the post because I’m mostly familiar with them, hence why I also mostly post about them. In the actual written part I also refer to ToG and partially CC. I mentioned the part about Feyre because from the first book her political views changed greatly to fit SJM’s ideologies. She was initially very caring of people on an individual basis and was pretty humanitarian, but after the shift she was more than happy to oppress people under the idea that they’re all “evil” a though SJM clearly subscribes to.

I didn’t mean to reference it to the characters specifically but to her narrative in writing where the people who carry out Zionistic actions and political movement are considered good by the story but anyone who goes against it aren’t, and how she uses weird ways to change characters from against it to for it while making it a part of the character “improving.”

The post itself is in my drafts and I might post it now at this point but Idk if that would make it worse. If was initially born of people who attacked people who’d criticized SJM for being Zionist when it’s all over her writing and aren’t aware what they’re consuming is all partly just propaganda

[asherlockstudy]

Very interesting albeit confusing EB with an even more confusing thumbnail because it simply had nothing to do with the anniversaries both claimed in the picture and in the title. The misleading / clickbait is strong with this one. Rhett and Link even prefaced their conversation with a statement that they won’t say anything about their anniversaries. Why do you make a title and then say “we won’t talk about the title”?! Just don’t mention the anniversaries at all if you don’t want to bring them up!

They did not have a topic, they just wanted to squeeze somewhere the actual topic, which was - once more? - the frustration with the views of the R&L videos. I don’t understand. Hadn’t Link specifically said in the beginning that this was a project they weren’t doing for the views (or that at least they would not let low views affect them)? That they were doing it as a form of self-expression?

But then Rhett insinuated that he was disappointed there was not a “breakthrough”? What does he mean by that? That he expected these videos to reach like 20 million views? And if so, why? What was what would achieve the commercial breakthrough in his opinion, the hole, the board game or the maps? Don’t get me wrong, I loved the videos but they are not deviating from what Rhett and Link standardly do so why would they lead to a breakthrough? Or did they think playing DnD one evening could make all studios in LA to beg them for a movie contract?

But then Rhett said he has been headaching over it, to find the right story. Right story for a breakthrough? Again, if it doesn’t work already, it’s not upon the specific story, it’s upon the concept, the format. But weren’t they already saying that the YouTube algorithm doesn’t work like that anymore and it’s better to go sure and steady? I don’t understand the breakthrough concept really; even if a next video goes really well and surpasses the rest in views, there’s no guarantee this will happen again in the following video or that all those extra viewers will subscribe or become dedicated fans. It also surprises me that people of their experience can not wrap their heads around the fact that an Internet breakthrough takes a lot of time, trial and error and a sheer amount of luck. You can’t just give up because three videos did worse than you expected (even though you had said you had no expectations).

Unless the breakthrough means something else? Like, getting the reception they expected from the viewers who watched anyway? And so, Rhett tries to find the story that will get them the reception and reaction they expect? I don’t know.

As a sidenote, it was a little strange how defensive Rhett got when Link urged him to advice Locke and Shepherd to come to Lincoln’s party. “It’s out of my control. I have stopped fathering(??????) Just so you understand, I am sure they have been told. (???????)”

First of all, even if he is done fathering for Locke, he is not done fathering for Shepherd, right? If he means he wants to give up on the strict father demanding you do stuff, I mean, suggesting that his sons go to a party isn’t that, right? I mean, throwing the idea for a party, I don’t think that’s inappropriate even towards your adult son. And I am sure Link didn’t mean that he should throttle his sons if they didn’t feel like going but just to make sure he suggests it. He also said “I am sure they have been told, just so you understand”. Told by whom? Lincoln himself? Or maybe Jessie, who has apparently not stopped mothering??? Perhaps it’s just me but I have never heard a more dramatic response to a “Tell your kids to come over to my kid’s party too!”. If Rhett’s kids have become THAT independent and apparently that indifferent towards Lincoln’s big day, well he could say “ah man I’ll tell them but I can’t guarantee they will be up for it”. That’s enough.

I am sure they have been told.

[cangelgifs]

Saw some really bad anti-Cordelia/anti-Cangel opinions but I’m being so brave about it. In all seriousness though, what do you say to people who think Season 3 regresses on cordelia’s development for the sake of the romance plot? I think it’s an unbelievably wrong take that clearly has no appreciation for her character whatsoever but I’d like to hear your takes.

So, I do think we lose some of Cordy’s POV in the second half of S3 once she becomes a ‘romance interest’ but I don’t see this as a flaw on Cangel’s part. Moreover, I see it as a flaw of the show itself AKA having too many male writers in the writers room.

However, I don’t think her character is regressed at all. S3 has some of the most amazing growth for her character in the show. "So - demonize me already” is one of the best Cordelia moments across both series.

I'm going to quote Nika_83 here because she said it better than I could:

"I say they also don't know the meaning of the word regression. Which is to go backwards. At no point in season 3 does cordy slide back in to season 1 btvs behavior. So that's pattently wrong. Rather she is way more selfless and giving. This all makes sense given what she has seen and experienced. She literally feels the pain of the visions. She wants to help those people. And selfishly she wants to be important to angel and the cause. And she still maintains that "materialism' she always had with loving nice things, being bought out by clothes, loving being pylea princess, etc. Which is a part of her as a character and can be a flaw but that doesn't override her need to save others, or herself."

I don’t know the posts your referring to specifically but common arguments I see for S3 are:

She’s become a Mary-Sue/Saint Cordy. 

Angel on Top has a good response to that: “She's in this relationship with Groo that we already discussed as being, like, flawed in various ways and has a certain amount of denial baked into it. Like that is imperfect. And she also tries to read what is going on with Gunn and is completely wrong as well. Like, she’s also, like, there’s human error happening still with her. Like I don’t think she is—god forbid I use the Mary Sue word–she’s like not doing that kind of stuff. I do think Cordelia would be inherently less interesting if she was suddenly perfect and never did anything wrong ever in her life. But, you know, she’s still Cordelia. She’s still, like, making some mistakes and being a little too abrasive every once in a while. Like, I don’t subscribe to that.”

“Angel's feelings are the only ones I care about” - The Price; ‘she’s become too focused on Angel’

I think saying ‘oh, all she cares about is Angel’ is oversimplifying it greatly and missing the point. Yes, she cares about Angel and always has (see 1x22 when she buys him art supplies to make him feel better and “Well, he's gonna have to start wanting things from life, whether he wants to or not!”). This is nothing new. I think in the overall context of what’s going on in S3 at that time, it makes sense. I think she is prioritizing Angel and focusing on Angel’s grief over losing Connor to protect herself from her own grief. If she keeps busy taking care of Angel, she won’t have to feel the pain/loss herself. Also we know Cordy is guilty of downplaying her own pain to her own detriment (her hiding that the visions were literally killing her!) so sadly this is in character for her.

Thanks for the ask!

--whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

I also wanna hop in here and say that I completely agree with everything that has been said and I also wanna add that even if you completely strip away the romantic subtext of s3, Cordelia would be the same person that she was in that season because two things are very true. One, that her life would still be very much intertwined with Angel's because that's the nature of him being the protagonist--similar to how Cordy's life was very much intertwined with Buffy's on BTVS--and two, her growth over the last seasons (and arguably since BTVS) would still lead her to the place that she wound up. She didn't grow to the kind hearted, loving person who cares more about the mission than money that we see in s3 because of Angel or for Angel. She grew because she was presented time and time again with a worldview and a mission that was bigger and more important than herself and it shaped her and facilitated her growth into the person she became.

I also gotta point out that the argument in itself feels kind of sexist as if a woman can’t have positive growth unless it’s attributed to shipping her with a man. Not to mention that the "Saint Cordy" moniker also feels sexist because it both diminishes her growth and patronizes her. Essentially it paints her as this super perfect saint of a person instead of talking about how much she's grown or the sacrifices that she's had to make in order to get where she is in canon or even talking about the mistakes she does make/flaws she does have in the back half of s3. Not to mention it also is used to not talk about the real issues of the back part of s3 and how that twisted into the narrative of s4 (which is a very sexist narrative with many flaws). It's just is like "oh she's saint cordelia now" and doesn't leave much, if any, room for deeper discussions. Not to mention it also paints this narrative of "a woman has to be suffering constantly or tormented in order to be viewed as a flawed, complex person" which is both gross and incorrect.

Again, super agree with everything that has been said and this was a very good question, thank you for the ask!

-- someonefantastic