#that day isn’t today tho
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songs i see redacted characters as 👍
read more cause this is a long post
Darlin:
Real men don't need other people / And real men suck it in / Real men don't flinch or bleed in public / Oh, I think I'm a real man
…
Though honestly sir, all I wanna do/ Is get naked in front of you / So you can look me up and down / And tell me, "Well done girl, you're looking good"
Real men keep cool in the face of a fire / Go down with the ship / And real men don't eat, 'cause they're above that, damn it / Oh, I'm gonna be a real man
Though honestly sir, all I wanna do / Is get naked in front of you / So you can look me up and down / And give me your love for being so good
…
(real men by mitski)
Sam:
…
And say I wear my sorrow like a crown / And throw your arms around my head, and see it there in gold and red and brown
As heavy as a history book can be / I will carry it with me, oh Lord / And maybe when the bitterness has gone / There'll be sweetness on our tongues once more
We'll soon forget our parents' names / Like dogs will drive the wolves away / And weep with fingertips opposed / Like a church where nobody congregates
But sweetness sings in the pasture / We throw ourselves on the mercy of the earth / If sand and salt have the answer / Then the act itself will be louder than the word
And I'll be on your side
…
(history book by dry the river)
Both Sam and Darlin:
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And I haven't left the house in 100 years / And you haven't left yours in 100 hours / And we can't keep our hands out of our own mouths / See the horrible habits we acquire
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And how my stomach burns, but only at night/ When the moon is bright / And I have dreams about bears / With the reddest mouths / But your arms are warm / And your legs are wrapped around / And the sound of your heart
The unsteady sound, I will slow it down
(nervous rex by laura stevenson)
Lovely:
Sun, we have not been friends / We have not spoke in months / Or even made amends
Time, you can have your way / And if you take my nights / Would you leave me my days /
If I, I can't see myself / As the lights go down / I won't see no one else
…
Sun, oh, you do me no good / None of my plans work out / The way I thought they would
If I, I can't be myself / And if the lights won't shine / I'll become someone else
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So none of my dreams come true / So now I miss you
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(neon lights by dancing years)
Vincent:
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Mirror mirror on the wall / What's the meaning of it all?
Wasted all the time / Nothing lasts forever / Maybe I should give up the good fight / Change my image overnight
One thing that I know is that / You don't know a thing about me / I am the young, dumb, chosen one / Losing in the loveliest way / Kids these days
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(kids these days by shakey graves)
Asset:
Wake me up / Remind me brother, / of who I am / I'm made up, / If I am in pieces we'd be together again
Let's go / To where you remember, hand in hand
I am nothing / I was a hitch / in your program / I was waitin', / watchin', / You held in your hands
…
(hand in hand by makeup and vanity set)
#formatting is prob weird sorry for that#this has been drafted for a week oops#redacted vincent#redacted audio#redacted darlin#redacted lovely#redacted sam#redacted asset#one day i will be able to storyboard all my ideas#that day isn’t today tho#there are more songs i see as characters but im lazy
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Haven’t posted jetko in a week I’m having withdrawals
#one day I’ll post something that isn’t a sketch.#not today tho!!#jetko#first one is like#what if we beat each other up because we are sooooo#gay and in love#common thread in jetko content#jet atla#zuko#atla#fabi art
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hiiiiiii friendly reminder to not go knocking on strangers doors and running away :)) or just doing that at all :) some of us have sheer paranoia that can render us stressed for time long after the action is done :) because you don’t experience consequences doesn’t mean you’re free to go around doing this like a fucking asshole. :). I know most people who’d listen to this don’t go around doing it but I hope that at least one person reconsiders doing this just to look cool in front of their friends. You don’t seem awesome, you just make it clear your an uncaring asshole and nobody will come to you. I hope karma does its thing. :)
#No because my fucking heart sank when some dumb ass kid just approached my home then harshly knocked#They ran away. Of course they did. I’d fucking deal with them should they have not. What cowards.#But fuck. I don’t like when my hands shake to the point of not even being able to properly hold a phone.#I still am thinking about it today#even tho it happened a day ago#paranoia isn’t a fucking fun thing#psychosis#schizoaffective#actually psychotic#schizo spectrum#actually schizospec#schizophrenia#ehhhhh just for the tags I’m unsure if I have schizo but like yk#paranoia#bipolar disorder#venting#mental illness#high school#college#student#dumbasses#schizoposting#reminder
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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Today I fled a store bc a song I have a complicated history with came on.
and it wasn’t like. a famous song. I’ve dealt with pop songs coming on with painful connotations in public—recently in fact.
but today’s was a song written for a movie.
I’ve never heard it on the radio or in a store. it’s not really a popular song.
I used to love that song. And the movie it was written for. in some ways I still do.
but it was distressing to hear it out of the blue. especially bc I’d been reflecting on what the song reminds me of and how I’m in a better place before I went in. it was a cruel twist of irony that it came on.
I was holding clothes when the song started. I wanted to try them on but I felt trapped. I couldn’t fathom trying on clothes while that song played. I just put the clothes on the rack as fast as I could and hightailed it out of there before the first chorus finished.
all this to say: if you have the option to walk away from a distressing situation, even if it seems small and silly to make a big deal out of it, you can walk away. you don’t have to force yourself to be strong. you don’t have to endure. sometimes enduring is leaving and that’s ok.
#there’s stuff that I try really hard to avoid. I’ve taken great lengths to avoid it#to grow and be a better person and not dwell on my past#I struggle when I am exposed to those painful memories without warning#it’s happened a lot this year#but I handled it well today#I did not cry. I panicked a bit but I left the store and went somewhere else. I was okay. I’m getting better :)#but I swear if I hear this song in public again I’ll actually lose it dnsnsns#I was lucky#if this has happened in the grocery store when I had a basket full of groceries?????#y e e s h#well I mean I think that’s where I was when I heard the other song that haunts me :/#that one is way more famous tho so it isn’t as jarring#anyway#I love blocking tags I love leaving stores I love protecting my peace as best I can#cadence rambles#personal#someday I’ll reclaim that movie song for me bc it really is a lovely song#and I’ve already kinda reclaimed part of that movie for me?#but today was not the day haha
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“And it’s! Clean out the bank and, bump off your daddy,
You can come live with us amidst the has-beens and the addicts!
These are crazy times down at Costello music!
You can answer the phone and talk any way you choose it, come on!”
More Betty and Magic Man! And… I maybe should wait to post these as part of a photoset cuz… I do still have more wip stuff of them but… I spent all of today coloring these chibis I wanna upload them ghgh-
#adventure time#betty grof#magic man#at magic man#doodles#the song in this one is ‘Henrietta’ by the fratellis!#because… god. the fucking vibes and energy of this song. it feels rlly fitting. just for these two doing crazy shit together#ghghg I’m sorry I can’t stop drawing Betty w magic man I just!!! gOD. my brain has so many fucking thoughts on them….#one of these days I will upload art for them when my brain isn’t mush and then I’ll actually articulate my points gGHG#legit… I spent like half of yesterday sketching and lining like 6 diff pics. these chibis included#and then I spent even MORE time today coloring and actually finishing these 2!#which like.. finishing 2 pics in 2 days.. is nice…. but it’s also… like. me pummeling my brain w a bat#I couldn’t help it tho.. I couldn’t fuckin stop drawing ghgh#my brain is like. in overdrive adventure time mode….#eXCEPT ITS ONLY BETTY MAGIC MAN AND SIMON#I can’t even promise I will draw anyone else… I WILL TRY. I can promise u. more Betty magic man and Simon tho gGH#that I can fucking guarantee you…#I like other characters in this show too!! just! just! I am only obsessed w these 3 ghgh-#unrelated but the actual topic of this song I don’t think is super fitting for them ghghg#but the VIBES are immaculate!!!!! like the energy… u understand
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ohoho boy tomorrow is gonna be so bad but yanno what I’m gonna be a brave little guy and I’m gonna treat myself to back to back bath days so it’s all gonna be good in the end. Today was so bad today was fucking dreadful but there will be a way !!!!! I have to remember the small joys I have to stay strong
#I hate driving lessons. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t dread them every week. The guy who teaches me can tell and it pisses him off but#I HAVE to learn to drive I just have to and I WANT to be able to drive I just don’t wanna have to do it.#Plus idk what I’m gonna do bc it snowed today and if it’s still snowy out where I drive it’s gonna be cold asf and I’m gonna hate it !!!!#It’ll be fucking SCARY I’m already scared driving normally#And then I have psychology which isn’t even bad but I had a really bad consolidation task and ever since I haven’t been able to delete that#Connotation between the two in my brain.#I’m gonna create plans tho im gonna decide what im wearing for the next three days and a couple fun things that are going into my schedule#So I can look forward without worrying about offsetting the routine which is what ruined today (fuck snow)#I’m gonna try and read more and spend less money!!!!#Now I’m happy because I’ve got a bit of chill time tonight and then Friday’s horrors will fly pass effortlessly I’m sure and then before I#Know it it’ll be Saturday and the worries will be gone especially as now I know work bestie hasn’t like. Died (work bestie was like really#bad sick last week)
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this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh
#if the tories lose bad enough to make lib dems the opposition though… a guy can hope#I think it’s the fact that this is the first general election I can vote in that’s making me lose my mind a little here#I have done basically nothing but read today. I DO know a whole bunch more abt voting systems and the nightmare the tories have been now tho#I’m just kinda like. okay so what happens next? bc labour WILL do some decent shit but they also. fucking suck.#planning to look into the local green party once I’m back at uni bc I could actually do stuff there#I think I’m just dealing with a little bit of whiplash going from doing a biology degree where Everything is about climate change#like unambiguously it gets brought up in every topic (I DO focus on ecology and agricultural stuff and not like genetics but still)#clear consensus from literally everyone you talk to that shit has to happen right the fuck now.#it’s not even like I’m unaware of the state of policy rn I KNOW it’s a nightmare to do anything but we at least TALK about it#and then this election where it’s barely a footnote. biggest thing is the sewage dumping everyone’s talking about and yeah fucking finally#but is that all you’ve got?? the labour manifesto is bleak. it has a section and the stuff they’re proposing isn’t bad but it’s so little#and yeah no they’ve changed the official line on the manifesto to ‘make Britain a clean energy superpower’#I SWEAR it was different a few days ago#maybe I’m being pessimistic bc their plans for clean energy if they actually do them could be huge especially if they manage it by 2030.#it’s just that I know what the targets are and they’re already pulling back on shit like EVs bc of the shift right and I am So Tired#two party politics is a curse. as much as reform is an actual nightmare them getting a decent vote share might actually be the thing that#gets people talking abt proportional representation again bc they are nothing if not good at being loud#did you know we had a fucking referendum in 2011 bc what the fuck. and it went SO BADLY even though people generally supported it#god idk I think I’m once again being naively optimistic about people and election coverage has been very good at knocking me down a bit#people generally are good. I have to believe this. but man the british public is making that really fucking hard#genuinely I think a good chunk of that is down to first past the post driving politics to be divisive and aggressive#like is it the only problem? fuck no. but it’s definitely poisoning the way this shit goes bc when all the parties do is jab at each other#what are we actually doing here#idk I’m gonna stop now but this is taking up a ridiculous amount of bandwidth rn I can’t wait for it to be over#already dreading what the next election could look like in 4 years if starmer continues to suck ass bc I don’t trust him to not like at all#luke.txt#I said i was done but I just looked at the lib dem manifesto and oh my god it’s actually pretty good on this? holy fucking shit
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happy almost end of pride month i threw together somethin about my aroace thoughts (it’s only really about aro thoughts) . featuring my catsona . sorry it’s basically a storytime
#rambling#my art#personal#uhhhhhhh yea idk if anyone else will rlly find this relatable i just wanted to get my feelings out#i hope it doesn’t seem like i have held onto a part of my life from so long ago it’s literally just the only base point i have#btw i don’t want this to come off like . ohh i had one bad experience and swore off love forever cause that’s not what happened#i have had more thoughts abt all this this year than i have in a while and i really don’t like it!#pair that w the realization that i may not be as neurotypical as i thought has made for some interesting thoughts#one day i’ll figure it out better . probably . not today tho#life is confusing sometimes ✌🏽#hope this isn’t too much oversharing i’m bad at writing concisely
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Emily Clark on jocks in Jills….
#can’t wait#my bitch ass employer is making us come into the office on Mondays now#so that’s 4 days a week#plus absolutely slammed at work I didn’t get home until like 6:30#and then I had to you know reset and watch march madness#what a wild two games#I am shall we say concerned for UConn#but like Iowa isn’t immune from foul trouble#and like idk I have hope#not if their offensive game was the same as today tho#I was shocked that they maintained a lead all game#it felt like they were always fouling missing free throws etc#but also the last team to beat South Carolina was Iowa in last years final four#which is wild#I say these things like I have watched basketball all my life#when really I just started like 2 weeks ago#also people say off side rules are difficult to understand but I raise you basketball foul rules#like seriously
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Have to go to work at 9:00 today, w no coffee… also I have a hangover… also I had to get a Lyft and they dropped me off like 30 minutes before anyone can let me in the building… guhhh
#pepper words#tired.. gonna be a tired day today lol#I had a good time last night I don’t mind the hangover I just uh#I wish I atleast got some coffee lol. and didn’t have to stand around here doing jack shit for 30 minutes#but whatever! tis life#could I. theoretically spend those 30 minutes getting coffee?#maybe… but there isn’t a coffee place within walking distance of work so not rlly#honestly tho why does the wait and save thing on Lyft sometimes fucking have the driver teleport to ur door#like I clicked wait and save!!!! take ur time!!!! please!!!
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my boyfriend’s mom will be out all night on a date so i get to play housewife tonight n make the boys dinner :)
#‘the boys’ being my boyfriend and his brothers (all adults)#ah yes#the joys of being an italian wife-mother#makes me think of arackniss SOOOOO MUCH LMAO#because he rly does strike me as the traditional italian type#who would want his wife at home tending to the house and the kids and making sure he has a full meal on the table the moment he walks#through the door <333#this is what i was saying the other day tho when i was talking about italian mothers and their love for their sons#even within my own family i saw this so so so much#fuck my mom still does it#this isn’t a criticism btw!!! just a lil fact that the majority of traditional italian moms rly favour their sons esp the younger ones#but also it’s like soooo many men who grow up in this type of household environment expect their wives to also be their mothers when they#move out#and i’ve seen that with multiple men around me in our community#as well as with THEIR mothers#like ‘oh she better take care of my boy’ etc#i don’t think that’s something necessarily unique to italians it’s just the only culture i can speak on since i am italian#anyway i enjoy cooking for family so!!! :) i am excited c:#if it were feasible to be a housewife in today’s society i would absolutely choose to do it but alas#who the fuck can survive like that anymore LMAO#clari chatters#clari chapters
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I just want to get blasted, either out of my mind or into the sun, I’m not picky
#not me looking into the shitty guidelines for getting approved for medical marijuana in arkansas#yeeeaaaah looks like the process is ridiculously convoluted and pricey so nah#but missouri is just a few hours away so who knows#I hate weed for real. I mean it’s cool but I’ve had some bad experiences#but my anxiety is getting pretty rough and it would just be nice if I could turn my brains to mush every once in awhile#whenever my hearing gets bad I start freaking out and panicking and feeling sick. it suuuuuuucks.#anyway I have about 10 ‘emergency’ klonopin left which I don’t like taking bc I’m a hoarder and hate wasting stuff#like in video games when you stockpile potions but never use them#plus that shit can be addictive and I’m not a fan of that idea#tbh tho I diiiid take one earlier and I’ve been feeling preeeetty mellow#I ate two bowls of ice cream and I’m feeling good#I thought I had a drs appt coming soon to talk about anxiety meds but turns out it’s actually next month 🙄 so gonna reschedule that#anyway this was supposed to be a post about wanting to get blazed but I kinda whined all over these tags#whoops#uhhh…. how are you doing?#have you drank enough water today? for real#god I love ice water with a little lemon juice. I drink so much of that a day. it’s the best.#this isn’t important#if you read all of this then I love you#or at least like you. a little. a little bit. you’re good. I appreciate you.#ok I’m gonna go make coffee now#you can ignore this#text
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i should rlly return soon huh 😕
#just a few more days and i should be back#i think 😭#no ngl it was so nice being a reader instead of a creator for a bit that i forgot i have this blog to still run sjsjsj#reader isn’t even the right word tho 😭#whatever the opposite of creator is#like consumer?? idk i think i’m just being dumb atp 😭#but no i’ll come back soon yall i do miss you :((#these next few days are gonna be a bit busy tho#also i’m attending p1harmony’s tour !!#i’m excited for that hehe#idk why i’m telling y’all that i just wanted to share 😌#anyway i hope y’all are well and taking care 🫶🏻#drink lots of water today if you haven’t already#talk to y’all again soon <333#em speaks
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work was fun btw !!! treating it like a roblox game actually helped lessen my nerves and all my coworkers are older than me and they call me cutesy names since i still keep being mistaken for a high schooler (overall very chill especially since i work nights)
#gummy.txt#had to leave early tho bcs there would’ve been no one else for me to learn from#i know how to do like . 2 things now ? which is honestly more than i thought heh#anyways they were also unaware that i was going in today bcs apparently the manager i talked to didn’t tell them ??? anywho#night shift fast food isn’t as bad as i thought if the day i started on was understaffed and fairly busy
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Damn man playing this game without revali’s gale feels exponentially harder
#text post#totk spoilers#elianna plays totk#and like tulin’s thing isn’t even the same so like#aa#it’s prob bc the ascend ability or whatever is replacing it i spose#which like gd props to the dev team for creating a game-breaking ability and like#not making it game-breaking#idk how they did that#well i guess i’m still early on#man today and tomorrow are really the only days i can play like this though#back to classes on monday#and even tho classes are only 4 hrs i NEED to find a job#i cant be spending 5 hrs playing vidya games unfortunatley#life is cruel
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