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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 4 years ago

Note

Hey... It's my first time requesting here, so here goes. Could you make a scenario in which the reader and Belphie had a baby? I saw you Lucifer one and it got me wondering how it would be like with Belphie.

Without You (Belphegor x F!Reader)

WARNING (Pregnancy, Children, Babies, Slight NSFW, ANGST)

A child was the last thing he wanted, literally the last thing, it was at the very bottom of his to-do list written in the tiniest print, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t even his handwriting. He had turned you down every single time you brought it up, and it was quite easy to turn it down, finding any and every reason for you and him not to have a child together. His main reason was quite simple, and very selfish. He didn’t want to share you, not even with his own child. He wanted you all for himself, he wouldn’t have some tiny, whatever the hell it would even be, taking your time away from him. That would be unacceptable. Think of all the naps the two of you would miss out on! Ridiculous, it would just be ridiculous.

There was also a small part of him, very small due to the fact that he didn’t really worry much about it at all, but it was always in the back of his mind, of what would happen if you did try to carry his child. He was a demon, and any child by him would obviously be part him, maybe even more, he didn’t know how potent his seed was. Of course, nothing had happened yet, and he had filled your womb many times before, so that worry was shoved to the furthest part of his brain. Nothing to worry about, there hadn’t been a mistake yet, and he was 99.999% sure that there wouldn’t be any mistakes made at all.

He hadn’t been thinking ahead though, and one important thing had slipped his mind completely. Breeding Season. You hadn’t even known about it at all, he didn’t feel the need to tell you, he thought that he would be able to keep control of himself long enough to keep you safe from himself. His plan proved futile, and his animalistic nature had taken over completely. It wasn’t his fault though, it was just how he was, who he was… what he was. He, in a way, completely blacked out. You were pinned to the bed in less than a second, your clothes torn to shreds and discarded onto the floor as he completely ravaged you, slamming into you, making sure his tip pierced through your womb with each and every thrust, filling your womb over and over with his seed. By the time he was done with you, you were a bruised, crying, cum filled mess. There was no comfort afterwards, no aftercare, nothing. Just the sounds of his light snoring next to you as you weakly crawled out of the bed, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Days passed, and shortly days turned to weeks, and you still refused to talk to him. Why would you talk to him? You were terrified, and rightfully so. What had happened to you was traumatic, almost as traumatic as him killing you. Now he had two things to feel guilty for, but you still talked to him after he had killed you, so why wouldn’t you listen to his reasoning now? “Let her be.” “Give her time, Belphegor.” Everyone always had something to say, but none of them truly understood. He didn’t like being away from you, especially not for this long. You wouldn’t even respond to his texts, you wouldn’t even read them. Were you really that scared of him? Did you really hate him that much? He didn’t really care, he would stand outside your door all day, even going as far as to bring down his pillow and his blanket, napping right outside your room. He would wait there as long as it took for you to open that damn door and talk to him. He understood that it didn’t make sense to you, but the least you could do is give him a chance to try to make it make sense to you.

Finally, after almost a month of you not talking to him at all, you finally went to him. It felt like forever, and hearing your voice say his name, it sounded… heavenly. You were finally giving him a chance, a chance to explain, a chance to make you understand. He knew it would be hard, but even now you still seemed scared of him. It only made it harder, all he wanted to do was reach out to you and pull you into his arms and tell you that it would all be okay. For a couple of weeks after it even seemed like everything was okay. He had explained everything to you, and you were slowly coming back to him, letting him touch you again, letting him kiss you again, and he would thank the dark Devildom sky every morning when he’d wake up and see you curled up next to him. He had messed up twice, almost lost you twice, he wasn’t about to screw up a third time.

That was the problem though, he thought that the third mistake would never happen, not even realizing that the third mistake was already taking place, making its home in your womb. He was so happy that you were finally talking to him again, overjoyed that you had, in a sense, let him back into your life. All he wanted to do was forget about what had happened all together, move on from it, leave it behind the both of you like a bad nightmare. It would have been too easy though, he would have been too lucky if that were the case. If he just got to move on from what he had done and still have you. Luck was never on his side, and there were always two sides to every coin.

There were no changes, not for a while, no changes that he would have picked up on immediately. Sure, you were sleeping a lot more, but he just attributed that to you being around him so much. Plus, he didn’t really have a problem with it, you were constantly with him, always next to him, it’s not something that he would complain about. Then you started eating more, bringing bowls of ice cream up to the bed with you, crying into the bowl as you scrolled through your D.D.D. He didn’t get it, and he didn’t really know who to ask. Beel had no answers for him, but he’d supply you with food whenever you asked for it. He could get used to your strange eating habits, and he even got used to you crying at almost everything… you were just emotional. When you started throwing up every morning when you woke up, that’s when he started getting worried. He was panicking actually, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with you. Had you gotten sick? He didn’t know how you would have gotten sick though, you were constantly with him, and he was never sick.

Soon enough the physical changes started coming, the small bulge in your abdomen that was never there before. He knew he had never seen it before, he noticed everything, he could pick up any change in your body. It wasn’t just visual, he could feel it when he held you close, rubbing his hand over your stomach which seemed to soothe you more now. He tried to write it off as your eating, maybe you were just eating too much. He didn’t bring it up to you, you were already so emotional, he didn’t want to upset you even more, so he just questioned it mentally, paying more attention to you as the days passed.

It happened one night as you were laying next to him, snoring quietly, his hand rubbing over your stomach as he always did. Your abdomen had grown much more from when he first noticed the change, but he was still writing it off as your eating, you were eating way more now than even before. That’s when he felt it, something moving beneath your skin, almost like it was pressing up against his hand. Your body reacted to it, rolling over onto your back with a smack of your lips, he would have thought it was adorable had he not been silently freaking out. What the fuck was that?

He couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore, he had to ask you, he had to bring it up. That was the first night in a long time that he had actually lost sleep, his mind focusing only on his hand that was still laying on your stomach, waiting to feel the slightest movement. As soon as you woke up he asked. He didn’t have time to wait, he was panicking even more now. “Did you eat something bad? Did Beel give you raw meat? Did you eat raw meat? Did you go anywhere without me?” The last question seemed stupid, he knew that you hadn’t left the house, let alone left his side since he got you back. He was worried though. Was it a worm? Was it a parasite? He didn’t know, but whatever it was had to be taken care of immediately.

You didn’t have time to answer any of his questions before pushing yourself out of the bed and running into the bathroom. He held your hair away from your face, wiping the sweat from your forehead as you retched into the bowl. That’s when he sensed it… almost… smelled it… it was different, but not too far off from the smell of him and you mixed together. It was familiar but unique at the same time, he didn’t like it. As soon as he knew you were done he carefully pulled you up off the floor and led you into the bedroom, laying you carefully on the bed. “I need you to be honest with me, Y/N. What the hell is going on?” He hadn’t raised his voice at you, only letting show through his tone his genuine concern. He didn’t understand why you started crying, only reaching out to grab you, pulling you onto his lap as you cried on his shoulder.

That’s when you started telling him between choked out hiccups and loud sniffles that you didn’t really understand what was going on, that you just blamed the changes on the Devildom at first. Then the real changes started happening, and you caught on, everything finally adding up in your head, but you were too scared to tell him, scared that he’d hurt you again, and that killed him. You were scared of him, scared to talk to him, scared to tell him what was going on… you didn’t trust his rationale, and why should you? He had hurt you twice, what would make you think that he wouldn’t hurt you again if you told him something that he didn’t like. He tried to stay calm, keep his composure for you, but inside he was freaking out. He was pissed, pissed at himself, angry that he had even allowed this to happen. He was pissed at Lucifer, for allowing him to get to you, for not protecting you when he had gone through his season. That’s surely when it must have happened. Not only had Lucifer not protected you, he hadn’t even told Belphie that this kind of thing was possible, and now… here you were, proving the impossible to be possible.

The problem wasn’t just that it had happened in the first place, the bigger problem was that he knew you wouldn’t allow him to get rid of it, and he knew just how to do it too. If you didn’t mean so much to him he would do it while you were sleeping… but you were everything to him. He cared about you, he wanted you to be happy, he didn’t want to lose your trust again. So… he did what he never thought he’d be able to do. He thought of the good aspects of it, and while there were very few pros to what was going on, at least with his seed growing inside of you everyone would know not to go near you, at least they should know. He didn’t expect the instinct to protect it would kick in, but he found himself growling at anyone that even came close to you or your stomach, and he only realized how bad it really was when Beel came to bring you food and he damn near bit Beels hand off.

Watching it grow, watching you grow with it, that’s what scared him the most. He knew it would be strong, how could it not be? The thing was part of him, a literal demon spawn and it could hurt you, rip through you at any point. There was no way to tell how big it actually was or what it was doing, he could only see the movements through your stomach and attempt to measure it by rubbing over your stomach. He could tell it was bigger, as it would be, but that only made him worry more. Would it have horns like him? Would it even care enough about you to be careful with its movements? He had no way of knowing, he could only hope. Hope that the thing, the child, loved you as much as he did.

Months passed, and while most men found it beautiful to see their woman carrying their child, he found it terrifying. It didn’t take long for him to realize that not only did the child have horns, it also kicked like a bull, it was just like him and he hated that. He couldn’t stand to look at your stomach, it was almost painful to see the purple and yellow blotches that covered your skin, knowing that it was his fault, that he had caused this. He would try to clear them up every day, only for the beast inside you to kick just as hard, creating darker bruises, almost as if it were mocking him. It wasn’t just seeing what it did to you, it was watching you try to cover up your pain, pretend that everything was fine as you clenched your teeth together, rubbing your hand over your stomach in an attempt to calm the monster down. He hated it, and he hated himself for doing it to you.

What hurt him the most though… was actually thinking that you would make it. He had done everything he could to try to make you comfortable, to make it easier on you because you were so damn persistent, so dead set on carrying this thing that you would kill yourself in the process. He knew it was a possibility, but he had never actually thought of it happening. You had already made it this far and while, yes, you were exhausted, and you were being beaten from the inside, you were still breathing. You were still going. It was so close to the end, you only had to wait a little while longer, but the monster had different plans. They always do, but not even he, a monster himself, could have planned for it to happen the way it did. No one would have been ready for it.

Everything was calm, too calm. You had finally dozed off, and for once you actually looked… peaceful. The thing had finally stopped moving, almost as if it had decided to take a nap itself, and he thought that he’d be able to get some sleep in. It had been so long since he had actually taken a nap, a decent nap where he didn’t wake up almost immediately to the sound of you gasping or crying silently when the thing would kick you. He should have known better, he should have known something was about to happen, the calm before the storm, he should have woken you up, he should have gotten the thing out of you sooner… but he was too late. He was always too late.

It wasn’t a gasp, it wasn’t even a cry… your scream had startled him awake, he knew that scream, he had heard it before, it just wasn’t a scream that he ever thought he’d hear from your lips. His eyes were still clouded with sleep as he sat up and looked at you, and for once he wished that he hadn’t slept, that he hadn’t given himself that small joy, because now the greatest joy he had ever known was being taken from him. He knew that much, watching the blood stain through Beels shirt, the only shirts that even fit you at this point. It wasn’t only coming through the shirt though, it was oozing from between your lips as your breaths came out in choked off gurgles. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t even find his voice to call for help, to call for anyone. It was as if he was stunned into silence, watching it all happen, your eyes wide with panic and fear met his own that mirrored the same emotion.

Your scream had alerted the brothers, and they all came rushing into the room, but there was nothing anyone could do, what were they supposed to do? His eyes never left yours, even as the beasts horns, horns that looked exactly like his own, ripped through your chest with the most god awful squelching as skin and muscle was torn. Most of his brothers left at that point, even Beel could barely stand to stick around and watch, but he still stayed longer than the others. For emotional support or just to say his own goodbyes to you, he wasn’t quite sure, but he didn’t blame him for leaving. The only one who stayed was Lucifer, helping to rid your body of the beast that had destroyed you, the monster that had taken you so carelessly away from him.

Lifeless eyes stared up at him now, the sheets and blankets stained with your blood. It was quiet, eerily quiet, the silence was deafening and he hated it. At least he thought he did, until he heard the child crying. What right did it have to cry? He hated it, he didn’t want to see it, he didn’t want to hear it, he just wanted to have you back. He would do anything to bring you back, but he knew he would never get that option, he would never get that choice. He had screwed up, it was his third mistake, and now he had really lost you.

Everyone went on as if it had never happened. It was easy for them, but it killed him to see his brothers act as if you were nothing more than a mere visitor who had passed through. The only one who understood his pain was Beel, and not only did he understand, but he helped. Belphie wasn’t the greatest father, he wasn’t the best, he wasn’t even close to being a good father, but he tried. Not for the child, but for you, because he knew that’s what you would have wanted him to do.

He was never quite sure about how much time had passed, he relived that day every single day. In his mind, it was as if it had only happened yesterday, always fresh in his memory. Days could have been weeks and months could have been years and he would have never noticed. Not even the growing of his son helped mark the passing of time. Everything was a blur to him, without you there, he felt he had no reason. The only reason he even got out of bed at this point was for his son who he could barely even glance at without feeling a mixture of anger and sadness. He didn’t want the kid, but he looked so much like you, he hated that the child was the only living piece of you that he had left.

Days went on, and every day was the same. It was like a constant loop, feed the kid, keep the kid occupied, put the kid to sleep. It never ended, it never changed. He was laying on the floor, on the verge of passing out when his son pushed himself off the floor and walked to the door just as the knock came, pointing at it with a smile. “Mama?”

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aenniesryu · 4 years ago

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tsukikage middle school exes

tsukishima kei and kageyama tobio. both in their first year of high school and are also teammates since they played in the same vb team for their school

ofc everyone is well aware of the fact that these two kind of hated each other. not that it was an obvious fact to begin with since ever from the beginning the two would constantly bicker and throwing insults at one another

however, that was it. that was the only thing everyone knows about the two. the team even had to separate the two of them when things escalated quickly just to make sure none of them will started to throw fits

no one knows the actual reason as to why they would bicker every so often. the team just thought that the two have so different perceptions towards volleyball that makes them so hard to get along with

the team did tried to help them to get along but it just ended up with them constantly at each others throat arguing about whatever it is

what the team actually didnt know is that tsukishima and kageyama once dated back then in their middle school days.

so basically the entire thing going on between those two were just them being salty because of 1) the break up and also 2) their mindset when it comes to volleyball

tsukishima and kageyama once dated before despite them not attending the same school

but, both were living in the same neighbourhood and their houses were basically next to each other making it easier for them to constantly see each other

however, that was a year ago before kageyama's family decided to move to another neighbourhood

no, the break up was not because of them moving because they would still see each other if they put more efforts in it

the break up on the other hand was because of this one major thing. it was a silly reason but nevertheless it was the thing that made them broke up and that thing is volleyball

yes, volleyball. even tho both were playing for their respective teams back in middle school, their perspective when it comes to volleyball differs too much.

kageyama being the volleyball freak he is would just spent most of his times practicing his serve. even on the weekends. tsukishima, however didnt really took it seriously when it comes to volleyball ever since it was just a club anyway, right?

with kageyama spending more and more time with his practice, tsukishima was left alone. they barely even get to meet each other because of them being in different schools and then kageyama's free time was now full with volleyball alone

tsukishima might felt a lil bit jealous since kageyama, his boyfriend at that time would constantly talked about oikawa. it's always oikawa this and oikawa that. he knows kageyama only meant no harm and hes just looking up onto his senior who plays really well.

tsukishima was fine with that. yeah, he really does because never once did he ever tell kageyama to shut up whenever he talks about oikawa.

what was not fine was that kageyama spent the only free time they had on volleyball. it was the only time that they would be able to hang out and go outside but suddenly it stopped. no more seeing each other, no more dates and no more talking to each other

yes, kageyama did tell him over and over again that he feels sorry and that he just needs to prepare himself to be the best for their team

tsukishima did understand him but as time passed by, tsukishima became selfish. well that's what he thought. hes tired of waiting. he shouldn't be blamed when all he wanted was for his boyfriend attention

then 2 months before the very important match for kageyama, tsukishima went and break things off. and just like that they are no longer boyfriends or friends

kageyama moving to another neighbourhood just make things a lil bit easier since they wont be seeing each other anymore after the break up

"What the fck was that kageyama?" Tsukishima is now in rage with his once called boyfriend. They were in the middle of a practice match where they were divided into two different teams and just to make them work along together and maybe become friends, coach ukai and daichi thought it would be the best to put them into the same group. Oh how wrong they were because now they are fight again.

"I just did what's the best for the team. All you need to do is jump a lil bit higher than usual for that toss. you are already tall enough, make sure of it for once" kageyama was surprisingly calm when he said that but only god knows how scared he felt whenever tsukishima raised his voice at him because he got irritated. it wasnt a pleasant sight to see and get into especially when tsukishima is dmn mad. like the situation they are in now.

"yes my height alone is enough and that is why, you as the setter should take in mind that I would perfectly score if you just tossed me the ball right at where my hand can reach. making me go through all the hard work just to reach that fcking ball you threw is just wasting my energy" tsukishima is really not having it. not only did kageyama sent him a high ball, hes also pissed that kageyama made him wasted his energy in jumping higher than he normally do.

"excuse me? I'm just doing what's the best for the team. I'm taking out that fcking capability that you have in you that you decides to freaking hide and toss it away, just because you think putting an effort even the slightest of it into the match is a waste of your time" now kageyama started to boiled up. he knows that tsukishima has a lot of talent when it comes to volleyball, he knows that really well. perks of being his boyfriend throughout their middle school years. well honestly kageyama thinks tsukishima is just wasting his talent with his kind of mindset.

everyone at the gym are just staring and listening to them arguing. daichi was closed to tear them apart and continue with the practice match, but before he can do that sugawara stop him. daichi was not having it but sugawara had something else in mind. he thinks that maybe them arguing this time would make the rest of the team to get a grip on what making them argue in the first place. and maybe the truth would unfold without them needing to ask tsukishima and kageyama. coach ukai seems to have the same thoughts too since he make no moves in stopping them. so the team just understands and silently look at them and wait for more.

"I dont get your obsession with drawing the team's talent or whatsoever because you ended up getting more demanding. I thought you were a setter. didnt setter usually can already feel his teammates thoughts? im here just doing what I have to do during practice and waiting for it to end like it always did but you? you just have to screw up everything. im already tired but you clearly didnt see that! just what kind of a setter who acted like a dictator and yet hes not even the leader of the team? tell me!" tsukishima yelled his frustration out. he wants this to end just so he can go back to his house and do whatever he finds interesting. and basically volleyball is not one of them.

kageyama didnt said anything after that. he felt bad and all the memories from when his old team abandoned him during a play starter clouding his mind. to make it worse he's on the verge of breaking down. his eyes are filled with tears but he held them back. hearing those things from someone you love didnt really felt the greatest.

"what? now you decided to stayed silent? why? just realizing how my words are true and theres no point in denying it? did you ever just sit back and think about how your shitty your attitude is in court? about how tired your teammates felt trying to satisfy you? this is literally the reason why your old teammate decided to abandoned you in the middle of the match. because you are so demanding and it stresses them out more than the actual game is" just when he finished saying what he needed to say, kageyama slap him. when tsukishima turn to see him, kageyama is already crying.

"YOU! out of all people in this world should know how important volleyball is to me. you should've known that theres literally nothing I can do aside from volleyball. you shouldn't have said that if you know what I went through the entire year. and then at the end? what did I get? I get abandoned. not only by my teammates but I was also abandoned by my own family. just to make things even worse, you fcking break up with me at the times when I needed you the most kei. the one person i thought that would always stay by my side. but you didn't even listen to the shit I have to tell you because you completely shut me off. I went through every single thing alone. All by myself. I practice alone, think of the best strategies for my own team on my own because I was pressured AND threatened by the coach, I came back to an empty house and freaking live alone. theres no one I can even call and relied to!! I cant even call the person I love because hes sick of me. all I ever wanted was people to appreciate my efforts even tho it's only in volleyball. I wanted YOU to be proud of me above anything else because I cant reach your level when it comes to academic. I wanted to be perfect for you and all I ever wanted was for people around me to be proud of me for the one thing I'm capable of but all I get is people abandoning me!!"

silence. theres no sound can be heard in the gym aside from kageyama's heavy breathing. everyone is just stunned with the sudden confession. not only did they just heard kageyama's biggest fear but they also heard the part where he mentioned about their break up. tsukishima and kageyama were a thing before? they were dating? since when?"

"tobio-" tsukishima breaks the silence. hes panicking but he didn't know what do to because everything is just too sudden and all he can think of is how shitty of a boyfriend he was during the time that they were dating. thats what his brain has been saying. after all never once did he ever asked how kageyama was feeling. he was indeed selfish and everything is all his fault. if only he stayed-

kageyama seems to snapped back into reality when he heard tsukishima called him by his given name. he panicked. he just spilled everything in front of the team.

"i-im sorry. I should just go home. I'm really sorry you guys have to witness such a pity side of myself" kageyama chuckled and wipe his tears. "coach, i would like to take a break from the team for the time being. again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see you guys later" and with that kageyama walked out of the gym ignoring his teammates eyes and the calls.

"what the hell just happened" tanaka said as the argument really is tensed and they literally just heard something that is kept secret between tsukishima and kageyama.

"tsuki, you and kageyama-" yamaguchi said softly as to not add any more anger in tsukishima. after all tsukishima kind of had an anger issue.

"ugh fuck, yes we did." tsukishima sigh. theres really nothing he can do. everyone knows and they probably think its his fault anyways. but the team has the opposite thoughts than him

"I honestly dont know what to say" sugawara said to him. he really wanted to help but it's not in his power to do so. all he can do is give them advice.

"ha, no need. I already know it's my fault. you guys can blame me. I would gladly accept it"

"What? No" were the replies he get from his team members. he was clueless coz after all kageyama wouldnt turn into a tyrant if only he stayed and didnt leave.

"we didnt blame you. both of you were young that time it was just normal for you to feel he loved you less. but you two lack in communication which leads to this whole entire mess. idk what you two went through and how long you've been together, it's not my business. but, all I can say is that you two need some closure. and clearly none of you even moved on from the past. arguing with each other every other day isnt the healthiest way to cope with the break up. just please sort this out with him. hes in pain and so are you." enoshita who has been quite the entire time decided to speak up. he do got a point especially with that lack communication between tsukishima and kageyama. sooner or later he needed to settle this whole mess before it started to drag the entire team. kageyama is the regular player in their team, and even with sugawara who can replace him as a setter, kageyama really is needed in the team. hinata also needed kageyama.

"I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from.. but tsukishima please bring kageyama back to the team. I needed him. the team too. and I think you needed him too. so please, I will do whatever it takes to help get him back into the team" hinata cried out. after all they were the freaky duo. they relied more on one another.

"but didnt kageyama only asked to take a break? it's not like he would just quit" nishinoya chipped in. "indeed he said that, but we are not sure on how long would the break be. it can be days, weeks, months and even years." coach ukai reasoned.

"let's just stop here. you guys can go home now. I will cancel tomorrow's practice so please just take a good rest. We'll continue our practice on the day after that. And you tsukishima" coach ukai added and turn to look at tsukishima with a soft look. It was a rare sight to see but they know it's for the best

"yes?"

"idk what you are planning to do. whether you sort things out and talk to kageyama or you didnt do anything about it is up to you. just clear out your minds whenever you came intl practice. we already less in one member, we didnt need to lose another one"

"thank you coach!"

listen, idek what I'm doing but I'm just gonna post this even tho I know it was bad because honestly when I reread this I felt truly nothing lmao but my friend said it was good/okay idk dont really trust her but hey, the very least I can do is post this here so I can move on(?) welp, enjoy ig.

#haikyuu fic #haikyuu ships #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #tsukikage #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio

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harry-writings · 5 years ago

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Prove It

- the one where Y/n asks Harry to prove his loyalty

Part 1

Masterlist

Y/n is convinced that if she cut her own heart out with a knife, it would hurt less than this.

She’s driving home and she can barely focus on the roads with the amount of tears falling from her eyes. She’s already had to pull over a couple times to get her breathing right, finding herself punching and hitting the steering wheel in hopes to collect herself just enough to make it home.

But it hurts. It hurts so bad and she can physically feel her heart shattering in her chest. She can’t blink without seeing another woman in Harry’s bed — she can’t even stomach to keep driving straight knowing that when she gets home, Harry won’t be there.

She’s going to have to spend the entire night alone, left to fend for herself because there’s nothing or nobody she can turn to.

He was her everything — her shoulder to cry on, her safe place, the one thing she wasn’t so afraid to keep close. And now that she doesn’t have him, she genuinely feels like she has nothing left.

And it doesn’t make it better that Harry won’t stop fucking calling her.

Because she’s already distracted as it is — so much so that she’d be surprised if she made it home in one piece (physically, at least) — and the last thing she needs is Harry trying to reach out to her.

It takes everything in her not to answer him.

And everything she’s feeling keeps building in the pit of her stomach — betrayal, humiliation, stupidity, heartbreak… it’s all bundling up and swirling around inside of her and she doesn’t understand how someone has this much power over her.

And she doesn’t understand how of all the people who could have made her feel this way, it had to be Harry. Because he was the last person she’d ever expect to break her heart and leave her to pick up the pieces.

She trusted him more than she trusted anybody — even herself. And she genuinely believed that she was his one and only… the same way he was hers.

The woman on his bed may have been just a fuck, but it was just so soon, so quick, like Y/n was quick to get over. Like he had no hope she was ever going to come back — when really, that’s all she wanted to do.

And despite the dreadful amount of tears falling from her eyes, and the never ending sobs making her lightheaded the whole drive, Y/n somehow makes it home without causing a wreck.

She expected to feel at least somewhat better once she got home, but as she stares at the door to her apartment… all she can think about is how Harry won’t be there, and he might not ever be there again. And how for the first time in a month, she’ll have to sleep all alone — while another woman is in his bed, right now. Sleeping beside him, right now.

And suddenly, the pit of her stomach is churning and there’s a lump so big in her throat, she can’t swallow it down.

“No.” Y/n whispers to herself, hurrying to stop her car and not bothering to take any of her belongings out with her. “No, no, no.”

She rushes to her apartment, cursing herself now more than ever that she only locks her door whenever she isn’t home. Because she feels it coming and she needs to let it all out, and she’s on the edge of bursting and her locked fucking door is keeping her from doing so.

She swings her door open and shuts it loudly behind her. And even though she’s really trying to rush, she takes the time to lock it despite the fact that she’s here, just in case Harry comes after her.

She drops her keys onto the ground before making a beeline straight toward her bathroom, holding her stomach with every step she takes.

She practically rips open her toilet seat and sinks down to her knees, one last sob leaving her before everything starts to unravel.

And she pukes, and pukes, and pukes — for what feels like forever, until her body feels just the way her heart does.

Empty.

Y/n wakes up on the bathroom floor with a migraine and a very concerned, worried Bentley kneeling right beside her.

Great, Y/n thinks. The last thing she wants is someone sticking their nose in her business, looking at her like her entire world has crumbled beneath her feet, trying to get her to talk about everything she doesn’t have the heart to talk about.

She just wants to be alone. That’s all she could ask for from whatever higher power decided she was worthy of this kind of pain — she at least deserves that much.

She just wants to spend the day on her couch with the curtains shut, mindlessly watch the day pass by her until her eyes are sick of looking at anything that’s not Harry, and just cry until every bit of her is drained out. Alone.

But, clearly, whoever’s in control of her destiny isn’t on her side because not only does she have to deal with the reality of losing the one person she’s ever truly loved, now, she has to deal with this.

“Y/n, what the hell happened last night? Have you been puking?” Bentley asks, offering her hand to help Y/n sit up properly, “I’ve never seen you like this in my life.”

Y/n groans as she sits her limp and weak body off the tiled floor, guiding herself with Bentley’s hand. She leans her back against the wall, tucking her knees against her chest, and making eyes at anything and everything except for Bentley’s.

She lets out a breathy laugh, her wrists coming to wipe off last night’s leftovers from her mouth. “Guess I got a bit too drunk, huh?”

Y/n knows Bentley isn’t here to pick up her drunken mess, considering alcohol had no influence on anything that happened last night, and definitely wasn’t the reason Y/n spent the whole night sick, but she doesn’t want to explain herself to anybody anymore.

If Y/n tells Bentley the kind of love she has for Harry and how much it destroys her, it’ll be the whole talk of the damn town. It won’t be just her and Harry’s thing anymore — it’ll be all anybody talks about to her, and she doesn’t want to hear it.

She doesn’t want a brokenhearted and spiteful Lonnie smothering her, asking why it couldn’t have been him that she loved so much — rubbing it in her face that this is payback for all the pain she’s caused others.

She doesn’t want Bentley sticking her nose up places it doesn’t belong and asking her a million and one questions about her and Harry’s time together. And she certainly doesn’t want Bentley to keep looking at her like she’s looking at her right now — like she’s trying to sympathize with her when she just wants everyone to leave her the fuck alone.

She doesn’t want any of it. And now she’s even more pissed off because she should have thought about that before breaking things off with Harry in front of all their friends.

But she wasn’t thinking, that was the problem. She was all in her own head that she wasn’t rational about the choices she made, or concerned about anything or anybody else at that moment in time. She was just so freaked out and panicked that all she was focused on was getting the hell out of that bar.

Bentley ignores what she says completely.

“Why would you run away from the best damn thing that’s ever happened to you?”

Y/n furrows her eyebrows as her face twists, her eyes now seeking Bentley’s to try and search for answers.

“What?”

Bentley has to stop herself from laughing because truthfully, Y/n had no idea how excruciatingly obvious it was that Harry was, in some way, involved with her.

She couldn’t really speak for anybody else — sure, they all had their suspicions and theories, but Bentley knew. Bentley knew from the moment Y/n met him that it was going to be different.

Bentley has been there for all of Y/n’s flings — has been there from the beginning to the end of each and every one of them — and she can wholeheartedly admit that Y/n had never looked at any of them the way she looked at Harry. Y/n had never treated any of them the way she treated him, either, or reached for them the way she reached for Harry.

Nothing Y/n had done around him went unnoticed by her. She saw almost everything, and she’s not dumb, either — she knew Y/n loved him with everything she had and knew just how messy it was going to get when she finally came to the realization of it.

How Y/n didn’t realize it sooner, she’ll never understand. Because it was everywhere — it was in everything she did and it was only a matter of time before Y/n stopped pushing away her feelings.

“You know I know you better than anybody, right?”

Y/n looks down at her knees, almost embarrassed by it all and feeling weak in the conversation. She knows that there’s nothing she can do or say to get out of whatever Bentley came here for — which, she has a feeling, is trying to get her back with Harry.

Bentley sighs, leaning next to the wall right next to where Y/n is. Clearly, Y/n isn’t going to say much, so she knows she’s going to have to get it all out now before nothing gets resolved and Y/n is stuck spending her next few days like this.

And has her best friend, she’s going to do everything she can to prevent that from happening.

“You had this glisten in your eye ever since you met him, even when he wasn’t around. I’ve never seen you truly smile, either, until he came into your life. And I didn’t have the heart to ask you about it because I knew if you were keeping this guy from me, and everyone else, that it must have been serious, and so much more different than anything you’ve ever had.”

A part of her is right and Y/n knows it. She really never was the kind to keep her flings on private — typically, she was really open about them. She supposes it’s because she didn’t give a second thought about their company, or never really enjoyed her time with them unless she had other distractions.

She kept Harry private because she didn’t want to mess it up, or have anybody else mess it up for her. She always wanted him, all the time, but it felt better when they were alone. She could be all about him without anybody having anything to say about it.

“And I wasn’t going to get involved until Harry got ahold of me at four o’clock this morning. He was an absolute wreck. Said you haven’t been answering his calls and that he’d been looking for you for hours. When he didn’t see your car in your usual parking spot and noticed that your door was locked, he freaked the fuck out. Had no idea what to do.”

Y/n must have been so out of her mind last night because she didn’t even notice that she parked somewhere else — considering it really was the only place she ever parked her car whenever she was home.

And a part of her feels bad for it — for keeping Harry up and worrying about her whereabouts when she had just been home all night. Another part of her feels relieved, in a strange way, because he had left everything behind — including the woman on his bed — for her.

But another part of her is angry, because how dare he make a joke out of her and toss her around his priority list. How dare he only care about where she is when he was the one who pushed her away. How dare he only come looking for her only when he’s sorry.

Y/n notices she’s crying and angrily wipes the tears off her cheeks, sniffling and blinking away the rest.

“Yeah, well it doesn’t matter. He slept with somebody else last night, so I’m sure he’s doing just fine.”

Bentley purses her lips, suddenly at a loss for words.

It does explain a lot. It explains why Y/n spent the night on her bathroom floor, and why she looks as helpless and devastated as she does right now.

Bentley truly never thought she’d see the day — Y/n being emotionally attached to someone, wanting someone all to herself, falling in love and falling apart from feeling so strongly.

Y/n had never been heartbroken. She’s never experienced all the pain, the hurt, and flaws that come with a relationship. She’s never had someone not want her. She’s so blind to the feeling of rejection — so blind to the pain of looking at someone you love just to watch them walk away, and not tell you why.

And Bentley doesn’t necessarily agree with Harry, but she doesn’t necessarily blame him, either. Because people do stupid things when they’re hurt. Sometimes, people would do anything to just make it all stop, and if Harry’s way of coping was sleeping with someone else — then that was his way of coping, and Y/n couldn’t do anything about it.

“Wouldn’t you have?”

“I’m sorry?”

Y/n has half the mind to kick Bentley out of her apartment right now and never speak to her again.

Everybody thinks they know so much about her. Everybody will always think she’ll spend the rest of her life jumping from guy to guy, having meaningless flings and hookups for sole entertainment — that love is just a game to her and she’ll never find the right way to feel it.

But nobody knows that Harry is it for her. There is nobody else but him. She doesn’t care about anybody else. She doesn’t even want to look at other guys because her heart wasn’t made for anybody fucking else.

If her and Harry are really done, she knows she could never move on — she knows she’d spend the rest of her life alone because Harry is her person, and he’ll be her person until the day she dies. And she could never waste her time being with someone who’ll never have her like he does.

“If Harry had looked at you and told you he couldn’t be with you anymore… you’re telling me you wouldn’t be hurt enough to have a meaningless fuck with someone? Just to stop thinking about it for a bit?”

Y/n scoffs, slightly pushing Bentley farther away from her because what the actual fuck?

“Absolutely fucking not.”

Y/n rests her cheek against her knee, her head turned away from Bentley. She’s hugging her legs to her and praying that this conversation can be done and over with before she loses her goddamn mind.

“And he wouldn’t have, either, if he loved me the way I love him.”

But Bentley really isn’t having it, because none of this would have happened if Y/n just took her head out of her ass. Harry would have never slept with somebody else if Y/n had just stayed and didn’t treat Harry like another one of her playthings.

Because he loves her and everyone knows it. He loves her more than Bentley has ever seen someone love another person, and Y/n took it all away and ripped it apart. And Harry had the heart to forgive her for leaving him behind, yet Y/n isn’t willing to do the same.

“No! You don’t get to do that!” Bentley snaps, picking herself up onto her feet while pointing a finger at Y/n — who is now very alert and very focused on Bentley’s stern stature. “You don’t get to decide how people cope with their heartbreak when you’re the one who caused it!”

Y/n gulps and her eyes are wide because Bentley never had a reason to pick a fight with her. Sure, they bickered here and there, just like any other friendship, but nothing ever quite like this.

“You didn’t see Harry after you left, but I did, okay?! You have no idea what you put him through! He was so torn up over you, poor guy had no control over his emotions and it didn’t help that you dubbed him in front of Lonnie! What good could have possibly come out of that —”

Y/n stands up so fast she nearly passes out. “What the fuck did Lonnie say to Harry?!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Bentley fumes, and she wishes that Y/n could understand that she’s not trying to fight with her — she’s trying to fight for her, because Y/n will always let her pride get in the way of her happiness. And she needs someone to smack some sense into her before she lets herself fall into a deep pit of loneliness and never come out of it.

“Why can’t you just ever let things be?! What is it with you and thinking you’re too good for the things that are best for you?!”

Her words are like a slap in the face.

Y/n knows she’s got issues to work on, but she’s never thought of it like that — like she puts herself before everything and everyone around her.

But when Bentley says it, she knows it’s true. Y/n never had problems walking away from people because she felt she didn’t need them. Y/n never thought twice about other people’s emotions, and even when she did, she never did anything to change it.

She always kept her head up and made everyone believe all she’s ever wanted and all she’s ever needed was herself — when in reality, it was farthest from the truth.

But she doesn’t know why she does it — she doesn’t know why she does the things she does or says the things she says or why she just has to make a statement about it every damn day.

And why did she have to walk away from Harry, when he really was the best thing that’s ever happened to her?

Of course she was scared, but she had kept him all to herself for her own selfish reasons instead of showing him off the way she should have. She barely pretended he existed around their friends, and she didn’t realize how absolutely wrong it was until now.

And she ran away from him because she didn’t want to love him, or need him, or want him the way she did. And it kills her to know everything now lays in her hands.

“I — I don’t..” Y/n breathes out, her shoulder slumping down and her eyes meeting the ground.

She has nothing to say for herself. There is nothing that can do to shake her out of this feeling of self-resentment, and the confusion that’s consuming her down to the pit of her bones.

“I don’t know.” She nearly cries.

Bentley pouts and is quick to reach for her. And although Y/n isn’t for one being touched, Bentley can tell that she needs someone there for her now more than ever.

Y/n lets Bentley console her, resting her head in the dip of her shoulder and letting her weight fall against her embrace. Bentley rubs her back softly, not saying anything for a while and just letting Y/n put herself back together enough to fix the mess that’s been made.

And Y/n can’t lie, she really likes the feeling of someone else other than Harry being there for her. And she quite likes the comfortable silence, too.

“Just call Harry, alright? Clearly you’re just as miserable as he is — spent the whole night sick because of it. This isn’t fair for either of you.”

Y/n nods against her shoulder, because even though she hasn’t fully forgiven Harry for everything that he’s done, she needs to at least see him. It’s absolutely ripping her apart being so far away.

And she can’t move on with her day knowing Harry is worried sick about her whereabouts — running on no sleep, trying everything he can to just get things right with her.

Bentley pulls away Y/n, leaving her hands on her shoulders. She gives her a look that’s somewhere between pity and encouragement.

“Just talk to him. Give him a chance, alright? I have a feeling he’s got a lot to say for himself.”

She puts her hand gently against her face, almost as if to say you’ve got this, and I’m here for you.

With one last look from Bentley and one last nod from Y/n — Bentley feels like her work here is done. She turns away to leave the bathroom that Y/n is so desperate to get out of.

But before she leaves completely, she turns her head slightly over her shoulder. “And please, for the love of God, just let it be.”

It took a lot out of Y/n to step out into the light of day.

It took her about five minutes after Bentley left to realize she left her phone in her car. And it took her about thirty minutes for her to realize that she’s absolutely terrified to face Harry.

She spent the next hour and a half trying to prepare herself for anything that could possibly happen. She rehearsed everything she was going to say and what she would respond to anything Harry could possibly hold against her.

She isn’t quite sure what to expect, but all she wants is to find a middle ground between them so that they can finally be together again — officially, this time.

But she knows it’s not going to be that easy, and they both have to fight to get what they want.

She gives herself a mini pep-talk before finding the courage to walk back to her car so that she can finally call Harry.

37 missed calls and 12 unread texts messages.

Her heart sinks because she knows Harry would have never hounded her so much unless he was genuinely worried. He was always willing to give her, her privacy and her time alone because he knows that’s what she was used to.

But she couldn’t imagine Harry ignoring her and not knowing where he was — she couldn’t imagine looking all night for him just for every road to be a dead-end.

Her hands shake when she receives yet another call from Harry.

“Baby?” Harry sobs, half in awe that she finally answered him and half confused as to why she did. “Where are you? Are you home? Are you safe? Please, just tell me you’re okay.”

He’s hysterical and she can barely understand a word he’s saying, but she can hear just how bad everything’s been hitting him and all she wants to do is find a way to kiss him through her phone.

But her stomach is still sick, and her heart is still hurting, and she feels like shit for caring so much about what he did.

“I’m alright…” Y/n trails off, lying through her teeth, picking at the skin around her nails. “I could be better, if you came over to talk?”

Harry lets out another sob because that’s all he’s been wanting to do for the past six and a half hours.

He hasn’t been able to live with himself knowing that Y/n had come back for him just to see somebody else in his bed — when the only woman he could ever want on his bed was standing right in front of him.

It was so stupid and he was so stupid and if he could go back in time and take it all back, he would. He would do anything to get Y/n back in his arms again.

“Baby.” He whimpers, fisting the end of his t-shirt and pulling on it as if it could help mend the pain his body is in. “There’s no other girl but you. They’ll never be anybody but you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Y/n shuts her eyes and sucks in a breath to try and keep herself together. She wants to believe it — she really, really wants to fucking believe it, but she can’t get what she saw out of her head and it’s killing her.

“Just come over, okay?”

Her voice is shaking and cracking but she doesn’t even care. She just needs to see him before she loses any more of her fucking mind.

“Please.”

And Harry swears he could have never gotten to her faster. Between all the guilt that’s been eating him from the inside out and hearing her practically beg for him to come see her, he’s never wanted to be with her more than he does now.

It takes everything in him not to seem too desperate, but the moment he sees her standing helplessly in her kitchen, with wet eyes and shaking hands, he can’t control himself.

He practically runs to her, because he’s never been so far away from her for so long and he wasn’t so sure if he’d ever have the chance to see her again.

All he wants is to bring her into his arms and hold her to him and shower her in apologies — drop to his knees and beg for her to take him back, to forgive him, to forget last night ever fucking happened and put him out of his misery.

But he figures that might be too much too soon, so he settles for placing his hands on her waist and fiddling with the ends of her shirt.

“Can I hold you?” He whines out, his hands fighting the urge to touch her all over. “Please, I didn’t know where you were or if I’d ever see you again and I just — can you just let me hold you for a bit?”

His eyes are wide and desperate and looking at every inch of her. She figures it’s because he’s trying to soak in the image of her in case this is goodbye, because she’s doing the exact same thing to him.

She wants to say no because she doesn’t want to touch the same skin that touched someone else — she doesn’t want his sloppy seconds all over her. But she can’t leave him like this, either, when he’s so obviously breaking at the seams.

And she can’t say she hasn’t been waiting for this moment since the minute she walked out of that bar.

She nods reluctantly, and Harry doesn’t hesitate to scoop her up in his arms.

He can finally breathe again, it feels like, after all this time. All he needed is right here, smushed up against him like his life depended on it, and he can’t believe he’s ever let it walk away from him.

They stay tangled in each other’s arms for a moment, hoping that their bodies being so close could help keep them together. Because they don’t want to let each other slip away, ever again.

There’s so much damage that needs fixing and so much trust that needs regaining — and just to be like this with each other for a while is what they both need more than anything.

Y/n pulls away after a couple of minutes, her hands reaching up to wipe away the tears she can’t seem to hold back.

“Can we talk now?”

Harry nods, his eyebrows sewing together. “Yeah, love. Of course.”

He grabs ahold of her hand and guides her to the kitchen table, pulling out one of the chairs for her to sit on. Y/n sits down and Harry occupies the seat beside her at the head.

Y/n doesn’t really know what to say for a moment, not entirely sure where to start or how to approach the situation head on. She doesn’t want to come across as anything — she just wants to figure out how they can both get through this without one of them being left to pick up the pieces.

“Why did you do it?”

It’s simple enough, she figures, and it’s a good start. Because nothing is bothering her more than figuring out why Harry would sleep with someone else, if Y/n really was the only girl he wanted.

“You told me you couldn’t do this — us — anymore.” Harry mumbles brokenhearted, his eyes casted towards their intertwined hands. “Do you even know how much that tore me apart?”

She genuinely had no idea the amount of hurt she had caused him that night.

Harry felt like a part of him had died. Watching her walk away from him, after everything they had been through — after everything they had done — was like watching his entire world crumble beneath his feet.

It was treacherous — a heartbreak that was beyond any other he’d ever felt. And he’s had pretty nasty breakups — he’s had women cheat on him, use and abuse him, fall in love with him just to break him down — but none of them hit quite as hard, or made his heart feel as empty as it did when Y/n had broken it off.

And they weren’t even dating, that’s what didn’t make sense to him. At the end of the day, they were barely anything — just two people who were alone, together — in virtually the most innocent way possible.

But he had cared for Y/n in the most unexplainable way. He felt whatever she was feeling, he understood her and everything that came with being with her, he did everything he could to make her feel safe and protected because that’s what everybody else seemed to miss.

Y/n never felt safe. She never felt secure. She never had a hand to hold to keep her steady — never had somebody to lay her head to rest — and the world has hurt her time and time again. Yet nobody had offered her the one thing she truly needed most — trust.

But Harry had spent all of his time trying because he knew that’s all she needed. She didn’t have to say it, but he knew. Because that’s how they worked. They didn’t have to explain their feelings or emotions whenever they were together — they just knew. It was as if, in the midst of all the chaos, their souls were somehow aligned.

“I never said I couldn’t do this anymore.” Y/n whispers defensively, her fingers fiddling nervously around his.

Even when she can barely stand the sight of him, she doesn’t want to let him go.

“I told you I couldn’t do it right now, right then. I knew in my heart I couldn’t leave you forever. I just needed time.”

“Well bloody ‘ell, how the fuck was I supposed to know that?! Especially after —” Harry huffs, his eyes closing as he tries to push back all the anger that’s subsiding him because yelling won’t make it better, screaming won’t make them better, and that’s all he wants to do right now, “especially after everybody told me that you wouldn’t be comin’ back.”

The hand that’s not holding hers reaches up to his face, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to keep himself together. There was so much lost hope — so much emotion and heartache that went into what he’s done, and just thinking about what it was like to be without her is enough to kill him from the inside out.

“I couldn’t cope with you not comin’ back to me.”

She wishes she could understand it all, she really does, but not an inch of her understands how he was able to move on so fast.

All he needed to give her was one night. That’s all he needed to do, yet he couldn’t even last that long without finding another woman to spend the night with. And to Y/n, it didn’t matter if she had told him she was coming back — he should have known, and he shouldn’t have done it.

Because she can’t fathom being with anybody else other than Harry. It just doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t feel right, and it makes her heart drop to her feet. And knowing that it was so okay for him — so easy for him to pick up a sure thing only hours after Y/n leaving — leaves her with nothing but madness in her bones.

She rips her hand away from his tight hold with a scoff on her face. “You didn’t even give me the chance to before you fucked some random bitch that only wanted to use you for a night!”

Her hands punch down on her knees before she angrily picks herself up from her chair. She’s pacing around her kitchen — her hands in her hair, then to her mouth to bite on her nails, then bending down for her hands can grab at the jeans around her knees. She can’t keep still because there’s so much going on inside her that she doesn’t know what to do with herself to make herself feel better.

It’s not fair. It’s so unfair — how the universe and Harry have wronged her so bad. She finally finds somebody to love, to hold, to get her over all her stupid fucking commitment issues, just for it to be for nothing — just for it to be thrown away for a one-night stand.

It makes her so fucking sick. It makes her want to rip her skin apart if it means getting her heart to stop hurting. It makes her want to scream, yell, kick her legs and punch against Harry’s chest to show him just what he’s done to her — what kind of sick mess he’s made out of her.

And before she can help herself from it, Y/n’s composure is breaking with each breath she takes. She snaps her head angrily to where Harry’s sitting, fists at her sides and jaw tight, yet her eyes are desperate and wet and nearly begging him to take her out of her misery.

“I want you every night! I want you every day! I want you when you’re sober at 2 A.M telling me stupid fucking jokes when we can’t sleep! I want you when you’re drunk and can barely stand on your own two feet! I want you when you’re so far away from me I can barely breathe! I even want you when you’re right fucking next to me because I want you for you! And she doesn’t, Harry! She doesn’t and she got more of you in one fucking night than I’ve gotten from you in a month! She got all of you when all of you belongs to me!”

“But you’ll never be just a fuck for me! Jesus Christ, Y/n!”

It’s Harry’s turn to get up from his seat, kicking the leg of the chair before moving to where Y/n is standing. “When are you goin’ to get it through your head that you have more of me than I’ve ever given to anybody else in my life?!”

“When you prove it to me!” Her voice booms, so loudly she’s even taken aback at the tone of it.

There’s a pregnant pause following her words, nothing but the sound of their harsh breaths to be heard between the two of them.

Harry’s jaw is clenched, teeth meshed together and lips shaking as he hawks over Y/n’s frame. And the look on his face is unlike anything she’s ever seen — eyes far darker than usual, skin tight, shoulders tense and it’s the first time she fails to know what he’s feeling.

Y/n holds her breath, not so sure what’s to come or what Harry’s next move will be now that she practically dared him to do something about all this.

The silence is deafening and she almost decides to give up on the conversation, until Harry breaks the tension.

“Want me to prove it to you?!” He yells back just as loud, his hands fisted at his sides. “Fine!”

And before Y/n even has a chance to think, Harry’s hands grab ahold of the hair behind her ears, palms flat against each side of her scalp as his fingers grip at the roots.

His body pushes hers against the wall with a thud that takes her breath away. And she doesn’t have any time to catch up to it before Harry’s lips press hungrily against hers.

It’s nothing short of passionate — filled with pure longing and vulnerability. Lips opening and closing around each other’s, tongues meeting in the middle — somewhere between animalistic and delicate.

And it leaves Y/n nearly crumbling to the ground. Her body is in pure euphoria and his lips are unlike anything she’s ever felt before.

Her fingers are shaking in his hair and she can physically feel her heart flutter in her chest. And for a moment in time, it’s as if nothing else matters or even exists other than Harry kissing her like this — so raw and desperate.

She wants it forever. She wants it until she takes her last breath. She wants it until the sun goes down and comes back up again. She wants it every moment she can get it because nothing could ever be better than this.

He’s the one to pull away first, no matter how hard it is for him to do so. Because if he doesn’t stop himself now, he’s never going to find the strength to.

She just makes him so goddamn weak.

He rests his forehead against hers to give them both a chance to catch their breaths.

He grabs ahold of the hand that’s resting on the nape of his neck, bringing their intertwined fingers in between both of their chests as his thumbs rub at her skin.

“Didn’t kiss her once.”

His lips find a home and roam around the skin of her cheek, pressing the softest and quickest of kisses upon the heat of it.

“Didn’t even want to, the way I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

His lips travel down to the side of her neck, feeling the goosebumps on her skin against his lips.

“Didn’t sleep beside her, either. Laid on the couch the whole night. Don’t sleep next to anybody the way I sleep next to you.”

His lips are now on her collarbone. He’s keeping his pace the same, the softness of his lips the same, the tone of his words the same — fully knowing that everything he does and says now can make or break everything between them.

“Didn’t even look at her.”

He lifts his head up from the top of her chest, meeting her tearful gaze halfway as he does so.

His fingers grip the bottom of her chin, eyes never leaving hers. And if there were words to describe how his heart feels right now, she made him lose all sense of them.

“Couldn’t. Not the way I look at you — like my whole world is standing right in front of me.”

He places a gentle kiss upon her lips when he sees a tear fall down her cheek. And she lets out a whimper at the feel of it.

He’s never loved anybody so hard, wanted someone so bad, the way he does Y/n in this moment. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on, inside and out, and how he’s fortunate enough to even come this close to her — he’ll never understand.

He smiles softly at her once he pulls away, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers for a brief moment before looking down at their hands, which are still intertwined at their chests. His fingers untangle from hers, his free hand grabbing ahold of her wrist so the palm of her hand is flat against his chest — right where his heart rests.

Y/n lets out a dry sob at the feel of it — beating just as fast as hers, matching perfectly with the rhythm of her own.

“My heart beats and breaks for you. Doesn’t do that for anybody else but you.”

At this point, Harry’s really struggling to keep himself together. He can physically feel the lump in his throat building with each word he speaks, and the tears welling beneath his eyes.

She really is his whole fucking heart, and he hates himself for putting it all on the line for someone who could never make him feel half the way Y/n does.

“And I’m so fucking sorry for ever making you believe it’ll ever do that for anybody else. And I’m even more sorry for makin’ you cry. Can’t stand it, baby. Don’t ever want to see you cry because of me.”

Y/n leans her head down against his shoulder, her forehead rolling against his skin as she takes in the feeling of it all.

But he shouldn’t be the only one apologizing.

“I’m sorry too, y’know.” She mutters with her head still down, her fingers caressing every inch of skin they can. “I shouldn’t have left. I don’t know how I was able to walk away from you. You mean everything to me, and I love you so much.”

She didn’t mean to say it out loud, she really didn’t, but she can’t take it back now and she doesn’t ever want to. She never wants to take anything she’s ever given to him back, ever again.

And she meant it. She meant it with every inch of her being and even though she hasn’t had the chance to apologize for half of what she wanted to, she’s hoping that he’ll still find it in his heart to forgive her.

Harry wraps his arms around her, his hand sneaking into her hair to keep her head tucked into his neck — his favorite place for her to be.

“I love you so much more, baby. So, so much more.”

So… what exactly did Bentley mean by just let it be? Because right now, the only thing Y/n is letting anybody do is Harry devour her lips with his own, as if they both have been left starving for centuries on end.

But as she comes to think of it, she was starving. She had been for a month now — constantly wondering how soft his lips would feel, what they would taste like, how he’d handle her in a moment of pure ravishment.

And now that she’d gotten a taste of it, it wasn’t enough. She wanted more, and more, and more. And god, was she just fucking hungry for it.

And so was Harry. God, ever since he laid eyes on her, all he could think about was kissing her, holding her, letting his hands wander wherever she would let them. And now that he relished the chance, he never wants to feel anything else ever again.

"Baby.." Harry whispers as he pulls away to catch his breath.

But Y/n is so lost in the moment, she doesn't even realize that he's trying to get her attention. All she feels is his lips leaving hers and she doesn't like it, not one bit.

A small whine leaves her lips as she places her hand on the back of his neck to pull him in for more. She doesn't ever want to stop because everything feels so good — he feels so good, and she wants to savor every second of it.

Harry falls into the kiss for a couple more seconds before pulling away from her again. This time, however, he reaches his hand up to brush her hair behind her ear. "Love —“

"No!" Y/n whines again, "I don't wanna —“

"Sh sh sh,” Harry hushes her, the same hand now moving to rub at her waist. "I know, baby, I know."

He does know, because he doesn't want to stop, either. It physically pains him to let her go any more than he already has, but he doesn’t want to fuck this up.

He doesn’t want to keep making mistakes he can’t fix. He doesn’t want to move too fast and have her think his intentions are wrong, or make her think he can so easily take this any further when they’re just getting their relationship started.

And he knows Y/n would regret taking this any further knowing that he slept with someone else not just twelve hours ago.

It’s not fair and he knows it, no matter how badly he wants all of her.

“I can’t —“ he pauses, trying to find the right words to say, “I can barely keep my hands off you... but I don’t want t’rush anything.”

He looks like he’s in pain and Y/n can’t help but let out a soft giggle. Her heart is warm knowing that he cherishes and respects what they have as much as he does, but she feels the same way — she doesn’t want to rush anything, either.

She wants it to be special. She’s never made love before — sure, she’s had sex and had meaningless one night stands, but she’s never shared an intimate moment with anybody when her heart was invested in it.

She can only imagine herself being vulnerable with Harry, and sharing those kinds of nights with him — not anybody else.

“I know, silly. I don’t want to rush anything, either.”

She lets the tips of her fingers travel up his arms, and Harry shutters at the feel of it. She’s soft, she’s warm, and her skin is like one with his.

She leans forward so that Harry can fall backwards onto their mattress, until Y/n is straddling his hips with her hands at his wrists, lips ghosting over the skin of his neck.

“I was just thinking we could make out a little — until we get tired. Then,” her lips are now grazing the skin of his ear, “we can fall asleep, right here, right next to each other. Just like we always do.”

Harry’s eyes roll to the back of his head, a small smirk playing on his lips before his hands grab ahold of hers.

He flips them over so that he’s on top and Y/n is laughing and squealing beneath him. He’s pressing his lips against her cheeks, the smile on his lips not leaving him once.

“I never thought I’d hear you say those words again.”

Two months later.

Y/n’s drunk.

Like, really fucking drunk. The kind of drunk where she can’t see straight and her face is numb — the kind of drunk that breaks her out of her shell and keeps her laughing the whole night through.

The only thing she can see clearly is Harry, who she hasn’t been able to keep her hands off of all night.

Normally when she’s around their friends, Y/n keeps affection to a minimum — permanent hand holding, occasional kisses, even a few comments of endearment here and there.

For the most part, she likes to keep their affectionate moments private — strictly between her and Harry. It just feels so much more that way, it makes it feel stronger. And honestly, she just doesn’t want to hear her friends talk about how soft she’s gotten since she’s met Harry.

But tonight, the alcohol is soaked so deep in her veins she doesn’t even realize just how touchy she’s being with him — all she knows is that everything else around her is a blur and Harry looks so fucking irresistible.

They’re all sitting at their usual table, the bar dim and the music loud and Y/n is eleven shots down.

Harry, on the other hand, is completely sober, considering they had to get home one way or another. But he doesn’t mind it because he couldn’t remember the last time Y/n’s cut loose and truly enjoyed being around all of her friends.

And she’s really enjoying herself, especially now, as she places countless amounts of kisses against Harry’s cheek as he tries to hold a conversation with Lonnie.

Honestly, she just wants his attention. Even though she always has his attention, he’s just so addicting and intoxicating — more so than the alcohol — and she just wants to feel him all over. All night long.

“Woah! Slow down there, poppet.” Lonnie laughs. “He’s not going anywhere.”

Before Y/n started dating Harry, watching her touch anybody but him made him want to rip his heart out and stomp on it with his own two feet.

Now, Lonnie’s heart warms at the sight of her kissing all up on Harry. Because even though a part of Lonnie will always wish him and Y/n could have been more, there’s no denying that Harry and Y/n were, quite literally, made for each other.

They just…work, in every way possible. Everyone in the room can see it, whether they know them personally or not. They define the meaning of soulmates — they were each other’s better half, and nobody could ever imagine them being with anybody else but each other.

And all Lonnie has ever wanted was Y/n to be happy. And she is happy, the happiest he’s ever seen, whenever she’s with him.

“He better not!” Y/n pouts drunkenly, wrapping her arms protectively around Harry’s torso. She smacks a kiss against the corner of his mouth before pinching his cheek between her fingers. “Don’t know what I’d do without my sugar pop.”

Lonnie and Bentley both look at each other with amused smirks on their faces.

“Sugar pop?” They ask in unison.

It’s a strange pet name and she knows it, and sober Y/n wouldn’t ever dare call him that in front of their friends. It was almost like their little secret. But his lips just get sweeter with every kiss they share and she never fails to remind him of it.

It came quite naturally for her and it melts Harry’s heart every time he hears it. Nobody else has ever called him such a thing, and it’s just a reminder of just how special and different he and Y/n are with one another.

“Don’t make fun o’ me!” Y/n whines in defense, hiding her face in the crook of Harry’s neck. “He loves it! Makes him all warm and fuzzy inside. Loves it just as much as he loves me!”

Harry’s hand lays gently at the top of Y/n’s knee, a lopsided smile on his face at the way she’s grabbing onto him so. And honestly, he finds it all quite cute, and he can’t say that he doesn’t enjoy Y/n being clingy and possessive in a room full of people.

Behind closed doors, this is actually quite typical of her, drunk or not — loving on him every chance she gets, kissing him all over, all pouty and cute whenever she’s feeling extra cuddly. It feels like home, and he loves that she��s showing her feelings off despite the reputation she carried before.

“Almost as much as I love you.” He corrects, turning his head over so he can press a quick kiss to her lips.

And even though the alcohol already has Y/n’s skin flushed, his words find a way to creep a subtle blush to her cheeks. Because as stupid as it sounds, she could never get tired of hearing Harry say it. It makes her feel whole and warm, and it reminds her that no matter what life spits in her face, nothing can really be that bad when she has all of Harry’s love.

His hand stays and rubs on her knee as he continues his previous conversation with Lonnie, which leaves Y/n pouting and near literal tears beside him.

What does she have to do to get some goddamn attention from her boyfriend? Scream from the rooftops?

She huffs, guessing she has to take matters into her own hands since somebody doesn’t get the fucking hint that she needs some loving.

She haphazardly stands up from her seat, making some glasses clank together as she does so. All of her friends have their eyes on her now, with small oh’s leaving their lips — some helping with the fallen glasses.

Harry is quick to reach for her hand, making sure she’s up and steady and not falling onto her face the next step she takes. “You alright, baby? Where you goin’?”

“I’m fine!” Y/n whines, stomping her foot and pouting as she turns her body over.

She takes a couple of steps until she’s right in front of Harry, who’s looking up at her confused. His hands instinctively grabbing ahold of her waist to help keep her steady. And before he can ask her any questions, she sits herself down upon his lap — adjusting herself to make herself home, arms wrapping around his chest and nuzzling her face against his collar bone.

“Pay attention to me.”

Harry giggles, shaking his head softly as his hands rub along her sides. “You’re bein’ ridiculous, y’know that?” He lets his chin rest upon the top of her head as he slithers his arms to hold her to him, rocking her gently side to side. “Always give you attention.”

Harry sends Lonnie a look, as if to say give me a moment so that he can give his needy Y/n whatever she wants for the time being.

Lonnie and Bentley watch as Y/n clings herself onto Harry, giggling when she grabs ahold of his face and rub their noses together with a drunken smile on her lips.

Y/n’s never been this handsy before and it’s certainly a sight to see — it’s like watching an entirely different side of her that neither of them knew existed.

Seriously… because now she’s kissing all on him and whispering things to him that they can’t hear, and they can hardly believe this is the same Y/n that didn’t believe in love just four months ago.

Lonnie leans closer to Bentley, their eyes still focused on the very flirtatious couple in front of them. “If this is how Y/n is normally, imagine her in bed with him. She probably climbs him like a fucking tr—“

“Oi!” Harry shouts, his hand holding the back of Y/n’s head so that her ear is pressed against the side of his neck — almost as if to protect her. “Quit that! Not anybody’s business!”

And although Harry’s really being serious because he doesn’t want anybody thinking about Y/n in bed — especially Lonnie — he finds Y/n giggling against him.

Because, really, it’s no secret that they share a sex life. A good one, at that, considering they’ve been head over heels for each other for months now.

Y/n lifts herself up from Harry’s neck, her hands now on his torso, feeling him up as she tries to keep herself from laughing some more.

“‘S true though! Can’t keep my hands off him…” She trails off, just like her hands as they roam the skin underneath his t-shirt. “And you should hear the way he begs me to —“

“Alright! ‘S enough!” Harry stops her before she can get any further, though he’s truly amused at just how much she’s getting him going. “Reckon you’ve had one too much to drink, yeah?”

He keeps one of his arms around her waist as he stands up from his chair, bringing Y/n up with him with a small “up ya go” falling from his lips.

She hangs on him once they’re standing, her hands still not slowing down their previous movements on his body. Once she starts, she finds it quite hard to stop — especially when there’s alcohol involved.

And if it were up to her, she’d be ready for him right fucking here, if that’s what he wanted. And Harry’s finding it really hard to not show just how much her hands are making him lose all control.

“Gonna take you home, sound good? Goin’ t’take good care of ya.”

Y/n hums, leaning her cheek against his and stopping the dancing of her hands just enough to hold him properly. “As long as you want to take me home.”

How she’d ever doubt herself like that, he’ll never understand. She’s so beyond fucking perfect, home isn’t even home unless she’s there with him.

“Don’t you worry, baby.” He practically growls in her ear. “You’re the only one I want to take home.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles preference #one direction #one direction imagines

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writtenbynightlock · 4 years ago

Text

synopsis: college kept your life busy. the miya twins also have a life of their own. with your secretive nature, things became complicated.

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

wc: 1.9k

warnings: college au, series, post time-skip spoilers

Part 3 | Part 5

The sun shines brightly through the windows of your apartment, disturbing you from your slumber. You covered your head with a pillow, blocking out the light. As you were getting comfy and falling back to sleep, your doorbell rang, making you groan. You didn’t want to get out of bed as your body felt like it has been trampled. Your muscles were sore and your head was pounding.

Standing up still in your dress from last night, you suddenly felt dizzy, making you sit back down on your bed. You hated being drunk. The things you did from last night were all such a blur memory. It sometimes gets you scared. You could only recall a few events. Scanning your room, it seems normal - just like how you left it yesterday afternoon. You can’t help but feel paranoid. Whenever you were drunk, you often do crazy things that was so not you. The last time you got drunk, you puked on Osamu’s t-shirt as he was trying to get you home. The last time you got drunk, you found your phone in the microwave with melted cheese on top. You can’t even remember putting it in there. You ended up buying a new one and got a lecture from Osamu for you to stop drinking and how you wasted quality cheese and for breaking your phone, while Atsumu just laughed his ass off at the story.

All in all, the twins were always there whenever you go out drinking because if you weren’t accompanied, you probably would have already died in a ditch somewhere.

You squeal as you heard another ring of the doorbell. With a sigh, you stood up carefully and made your way towards the door. Opening it, you saw Kaori with a bright expression on her face, which was the opposite of you really because you looked like you just came out from hell.

“Kaori-chan, what brings you here?”

“Good morning love! I brought food to help you with your hangover. May I come in?”

“S-sure”

Stepping aside, you let Kaori enter your apartment. You do remember attending Kaori’s birthday party. You do remember having dinner and talked to her friends but it ends there. You pretty much don’t remember what happened after that.

“H-how did you know I have a hangover?”

“Sweetie, I think you’re the only person I know who could empty a whole bottle of wine alone.” Your eyes widened at this.

“What?! A w-whole bottle?!”

Kaori’s eyes widened, shocked at your reaction before letting out a chuckle. “You heard me. Do you not remember last night?” You can’t help but feel baffled. Sitting down, you intensely stared at the table thinking long and hard. This sends another pang in your head, making you hiss.

“Hangovers are real fckers. My head hurts so bad.”

You say as you hold your head, massaging it. Kaori then hands you in some medicine and water. You thanked her and drank it, hoping it would cure the pain as soon as possible. You desperately want to remember what happened last night but you’re afraid to ask.

“Did something happen when you got home last night? You’ve got some pretty interesting marks on your neck, (Y/n)-chan.”

Kaori says with a smirk as she points her chopsticks to your neck. You automatically held your neck, confused to what she meant.

“What are you talking about?”

“Take a look at the mirror love.”

Anxious, you quickly went to the sink of your bathroom and there it was. Multiple hickeys were scattered on your smooth neck. A look of horror morphed on your face. You rubbed your eyes again, in attempts and hoping that you were just seeing things but it was still there. Red marks were scattered on your neck and collarbone. Your heart started to raise in your chest. You tightened your grip on the bathroom sink, thinking intensely.

What the fuck happened to me last night?

Who could even leave those on your neck? You didn’t have a boyfriend and Atsumu- Your heart stopped for a moment. Were you totally wasted last night? The images of you and Atsumu suddenly fills your head. The way he was being gently as he kisses you. The way he hugged your body as you sat on his lap. This made you feel the heat creeping up to your neck and cheek. It doesn’t make sense. Was it just a dream?

“No. It couldn’t be.” You say with an exasperated laugh before you took another glance in the mirror. You noticed how your make up was neatly removed. Was it Atsumu that brought you home last night? If he did, how did those love bites ended up on your neck? He wouldn’t. You two are just friends. He wouldn’t take advantage of you.

Walking back into the kitchen, you sit down on the seat awkwardly, not looking at Kaori. She giggles at your troubled expression, “I’m glad to hear that your night ended on a good note.”

“Oh god!” You exclaimed, pulling your hair, hoping that this was just a freaking dream. You just want to die right there. The suspense was torturing you. You don’t want to think about it right now. It can’t be your ex boyfriend. You didn’t even remember seeing him last night.

“Kaori-chan. What happened last night?” Kaori glances at you, a sudden worry appeared across her face.

“Please don’t tell me you’re one of those drunkards who doesn’t remember anything.”

“Unfortunately, I am!”

Kaori let out frustrated sigh, rubbing her temple before looking at you. She hesitated but continued. Kaori told you everything, on when you arrived at the venue with Atsumu. On when you and Kaori took pictures and had dinner together with the boys and her girl friends. On how you and the rest of the girls gossiped and how it led to Shioko ended up being with Nakamura, on how your ex cheated on you while you two were still dating. On how you confronted Nakamura but somehow you got slapped in the face by Shioko. On how Atsumu took the initiative in taking you home and that was it. That’s her side of the story. It was so much to take in but somehow you felt a bit relieved knowing that you were no longer have any relation with Nakamura. It did hurt though, on how he was seeing another girl while you two were still dating but it doesn’t matter anymore. You two broke up. You didn’t love him. You were just drawn to his good looks. You made a fool out of yourself. You didn’t take care of yourself.

“You really don’t remember when you got home last night?”

Silence.

Kaori’s eyes then landed on the couch before a sigh left her mouth.

“I think I have an idea on what happened” says Kaori as she stands up and walked towards the couch, grabbing the grey blazer and giving it to you. You looked at it with a confused expression before it hits you. It was Atsumu’s blazer. You could smell his scent from it, so fresh and zesty, like lemons. You then looked at Kaori again, “So...”

Kaori slapped a palm on her face before she looks at you with a weird expression, taking the blazer away from you and sways it in front of your face.

“Atsumu’s blazer. The hickeys on your neck. Both of you were intoxicated with wine last night. A man and a woman alone. That leads to the possibility of?” Kaori sings, waiting for you to answer but you just stayed at her blankly, making her roll her eyes.

“You and Atsumu were making out yesterday missy! It’s the only plausible explanation!”

You felt your cheeks heat up and the redness creeping up your neck. You don’t want to believe it. If it was true, then you really messed up big time. You just put you and Atsumu’s friendship at risk. You can’t afford to lose it. You always had fun when you’re with Atsumu but knowing you possibly gobbled up his face last night makes you just want to bang your head against the wall a thousand times.

“B-but why?!”

“I don’t know. That’s for you two to figure out. You need to talk” says Kaori with a knowing smile.

“What? No! I’m not just gonna straight up ask him like ‘hi Atsumu, were you the one who sucked my neck last night?’ Atsumu wouldn’t do that! We’re friends for goodness sake. We don’t have that kind of feelings for each other.”

“I don’t know about that sweetie. Your neck tells a different story” says Kaori, chuckling in amusement.

“Maybe this is just a rash from the wine-”

“No sweetie. I know a hickey when I see one, or in your case, hickeys.”

With that, you just remained silenced and ate your breakfast or lunch rather since you woke up pretty late. As Kaori keeping a conversation alive as she discusses her new designs for their upcoming fashion show exam, you suddenly recalled something. You remembered how you went to the bathroom to vomit in the middle of your make out session. The mortified look on your face made Kaori stop talking and raise her eyebrows a you.

“Oh my god! I messed up big time.”

“Why?”

“I puked in the middle of our kissing.” Kaori gasped and covered her mouth.

“Oh that’s not good.”

Puking in the middle of a make out session is definitely not a confidence booster. That situation could mean two things - either the thought of kissing that person was making you sick to your stomach or it was just bad.

You panicked at this. Knowing Atsumu, this would definitely offend him. Atsumu is a confident man. He may not mind other people’s opinions but the people closer to the golden-haired setter affects him. It brought butterflies to your stomach just by the thought of Atsumu’s red and soft lips moving against yours.

Who knew his lips felt so good on your skin?

Deep down, you were always thankful for the twins but somehow Atsumu has a special place in your heart. With his charms and fun personality, any girl could fall for him. You weren’t too confident with yourself and you had to endure the twins’ popularity in high school. You were always the target of being bullied by other girls. They would often bump your shoulder while passing the hallway and tweet about you, though no name dropping but you know it was you.

When you entered college, you were still vulnerable about it. All the emotional damage that you’ve been through, Nakamura was more of a comfort person to you at first, the fact that he’s the person who has shown romantic feelings for you, but it all went downhill as months passed by. He worsened you. He brought you more emotional and physical damage.

You hated yourself for it. You went into a relationship when you were still vulnerable. You didn’t take the time to heal but you wanted help but it was the help that you mistook. Why were you so in a rush?

Am I really that desperate?

How were you supposed to face Atsumu now? What were you gonna tell him once you two meet? If it’s true, how does this change your relationship with him now?

One thing’s for sure, you are in a mess.

Taglist: @softiebadbitch

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #atsumu imagines #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #atsumu fluff #atsumu scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

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yamithediaperdork · 3 years ago

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Being a role model SUCKS (Inuyasha)

Spending time in the future was usually fun and a break from the stress that the feudal era gave out but the bucketful. Usually but not this visit. Inuyasha should of known something was up when Kagome A) kept talking about how upset and babyish Souta felt needing bedtime diapers as of late (and some day time pull ups, there had been little leaks) but also B) was giving Inuyasha all the instant ramen noodles he could handle and more.

Sadly, nothing quite clicked till they had arrived and then he'd been cornered not only by Kagome, but her mother as well while Souta was playing out behind the house.. and from there everything had gone downhill.

After a long talk (Well the women had talked, Inuyasha had argued but they seemed to ignore any points he made) Inuyasha found himself making a deal that he would give Souta the confidence boost he needed by having someone bigger then him be more BABYISH then him.. and in return Inuyasha got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it next time he visited.

"And let me tell you right here and now, My list of demands are gonna be HUGE!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome however just smiled and patted his head like he was already just a huffy baby and had lead him off to get dressed for the part.

Souta huffed as he kicked the soccer ball at the goal post, catching it and kicking it back over and over. It just wasn't fair that his bladder was betraying him like this when he was -9- years old! without a doubt in his mind, he was the biggest diaper baby in the whole town, heck maybe even the whole freaking country!

That thought was interrupted as he heard a LOUD crinkling noise and turned to see what it was.. and his ball hit his shin as his jaw almost hit the ground.

Waddling out behind behind Kagome dressed in a red onesie that did NOTHING to hide the thick, massive diaper(s) he was wearing and a pair of sandal's was Inuyasha!

The Half demon was beet red and seemed to be tugging on Kagome's arm, making it clear he'd rather go back inside even as he looked this way and that until, heh, she stopped and gave him a swat on his padded backside and shook a finger at him, talking clearly.

"No Inuyasha, you've been hiding inside for 2 weeks now, you need some fresh air and that's why we're in the future." She scolded.

"But..but.." Inuyasha whined.

"It's ok Inuyasha, I'm sure Souta won't tease you just because you can't control yourself right now." Kagome said in a motherly tone, then turned back to Souta. "Isn't that right Little guy?"

"heh..hehehehe yeah no, I won't at all Little yasha!" Souta said, a big silly grin breaking out on his face now."What even happened though?" he asked, coming over to the pair.

Kagome let go of Inuyasha's hand though gave him a look and the huffing diapered half demon plopped his butt onto the soft dirt of the back yard.

"Oh, we got attacked by a crazy priest who figured the only way to redeem demons was to teach them humility." Kagome started, a well practiced lie. "Basically Poor little Inuyasha, heh, or yasha as you called him..I like that! Anyways, he lost a lot of power and well control of his tinkles and uh-oh's for 3 weeks.Not to mention he's become a lot more..childish as you might of noticed." As Kagome said that with her back to the half demon Inuyasha stuck his tongue out at her and Souta covered his mouth to keep from giggling. Kagome turned to see what was so funny but Inuyasha had stopped JUST in time and was looking away, trying and failing to whistle. "...Anyways..I've been trying to deal with it in the past but frankly he's been stinking up his cabin and I'm sick of washing his diapers. figured why not let him spend the last week of it here and enjoy the freedom to play outside AND the wonders of disposable diapers." she finished.

"oh well, shucks , Little yasha could of came here sooner! I would of helped look after him!" Souta said, swelling with big boy pride since heck he was just in a nice and slim pull-up AND he didn't stink up his diapers! "If you wanna take a little break I'll even watch him for you right now." Souta added.

"Will you? that'd be great!" Kagome gushed and ruffled his hair. "Oh, one thing, with Inuyasha starting to get his control back, you'll have to keep asking him every so often if he need to potty or needs a diaper change. about once a hour. I'd worry more on the diaper change though myself."

the fact that Souta was suppose to be doing a potty check himself once a hour flew right over his head and the little 9 year old nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Don't worry sis, I got this!"

Inuyasha was mentally adding heaps on his list of demands as his new nick name caught on and Kagome went out of her way to make him seem even more helpless.

with his 'darling' girlfriend retreating inside, Souta came over to him and smiled, then bent down and sniffed, confusing Inuyasha for a second.

"Hmm, you SMELL clean for the moment at least." Souta said and then patted Inuyasha's head. "Good boy!"

If he made it thought the week without having to kill someone Inuyasha wanted all the good damn treats.. but knowing the role he was SUPPOSE to play he gave a silly grin (And the heat pats kinda sorta maybe felt nice too.)

"Well little yasha, what do you wanna do? I was playing some soccer but if your muscle control and stuff is all messed up I don't think that's a good idea. sides you likely can't move too fast in your diapies." Souta said.

'So nice but still being a jerk..it must run in the fucking family.' Inuyasha thought then put a thoughtful look on his face. "Ummm we could play hide n seek!" Inuyasha offered up, putting a doopy childish twinge to his voice.

"ok, You hide and I'll seek. I'll give you to the count of 20." Souta said and went to cover his eyes when Inuyasha tugged at his shorts. "Hmm? what's wrong?"

"How many is 20?" Inuyasha asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, not having to force a blush as the pure humiliation of this all was taking care of it for him.

A big grin broke out on Souta's face and he bent down and took Inuyasha's hands in his.

"20 is this many.. and then" and Souta let go of Inuyasha's hands and tapped a finger on the exposed toes since Inuyasha had gone sockless in the sandals. "and this many. Can you keep track of that?"

"Ummm I think so!" Inuyasha said and nodded his head, having to admit that was all sorts of cute.

"Ok then, when I hit 20 you'll hear me say, ready or not, here I come anyways in case you lose count." Souta said and with a last head pat, he stood up and closed his eyes, starting to count.

Of course Inuyasha could of scaled a tree or taken to the roof top even with the bulky diapers he had on, he decided to play fair and also, knew it would ruin the whole plan and he hadn't of put up with it THIS far just to fuck it up now.

He needed what would seem like a good hiding spot to a toddler but clearly wouldn't work for him and now up on his feet he scanned the yard.

"One...two...three...four.."

Jesus, this wasn't like a life or death battle but for Inuyasha he found himself frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what would work, his natural instinct to win was messing up his need to lose!

"Five...six..seven.."

ok this was just getting stupid! he fought the urge to face palm and then spotted a narrow opening under the steps to the back porch, it would hide him from Souta's direct line of sight but would of gotten him caught as soon as the little guy came close.

"Eight...nine...ten, That's half the count yasha!" Souta called.

'heh, he really is a fair sport.' Inuyasha thought, then as stealthy as he could (read, not at all) waddled his way over to his chosen hiding spot even as his tummy started to feel a little bit weird.

'Must be that glass of icky juice they insisted I drink before coming out so I don't get dehydrated.' Inuyasha thought, crinkling loudly and having to speed up.

"Fourteen...fifteen...sixteen..." Souta called out, a big goofy grin on his face.

Waddling with all the speed he muster and keep up the lie, Inuyasha drove to get into the hole.. and found out that while he had been right he could of squeezed in there normally.. he hadn't taken into account the triple diapers. His upper half was in, but his padd butt and legs stuck out and he knew if he tried to force himself in,he'd end up losing them.

'fuck my life..'

"seventeen, eighteen..nineteen...twenty! Ready or not here I ..pffft.. come..heh. Did you get stuck little yasha?"

Inuyasha had been about to push himself back out but with Souta's suggestion, figured that worked and started to give out a sheepish yes, but his tummy cramped and it came out much more panicked.

"Yeah! Uh.. Please help me git out!" he said, one hand keeping him from going into the dead leaves and the like under the step but the other was on his tummy, and he kicked his legs a little more to try and work out the cramp.

"hey, it's ok! don't worry! I'm coming over, though you have to stop kicking your legs. I'm gonna grab you at the waist and pull you back, so watch your head!" Souta called, and Inuyasha could hear him running over.

"O-Ok." The half demon whimpered, the cramps were getting worst and he semi pushed back a little giving Souta a better place to grip though he didn't take into account with the building cramps he might not want someone wrenching on his midsection.

'oh god, this feels like that time I ate those clam's that had gone bad right before I..I..Oh those fucking bitches!' Inuyasha thought, cluing in to why the ladies of the house had grinned so big when Inuyasha had downed his drink to get the icky tasting thing over and done with.

he had a brief second to think about just calling this off, he'd get himself out and whine to Souta that his tummy hurt and try and shit himself somewhere private, but by then it was far, far too late.

Souta's little arms and hands were trying to pull him out and the extra force on his tummy tum meant that while he did get free, pushing himself back to make it look like it was all Souta, he banged his head on the step knocking him loopy for a split second and also started to filled his diapers.

As he loudly farted and giggled, he wore a blissful stupid derp face.

Souta was shocked at just how strong he was as he freed the poor trapped little guy, though it was soon replaced with amusement and disgust as Inuyasha started to let out massive wet fart and then more then that, a stupid look on his face.

"Uhhh yasha, are you going boom boom?" Souta asked, holding his nose. it was rhetorical question at this point as the diaper was starting to swell, so Souta didn't figure he was gonna need to do a sniff check.

"Hehehe Ya! Going PBBBBBBTTTT!" Inuyasha giggled and stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry.

"heh, you surrrre are buddy. but it's ok. You uh.. stay here and finish up and I'll go get Kagome ok?" He said/asked, coming over and patting Inuyasha's head.

"OOOOOOTAYYYY!" the diaper pooping derp coo'ed.

"heh..wish Kagome would of worked me you went all derp when you unload. kinda cute." Souta giggled, then dashed up the step's to stick his head in the back door.

"Kagome! You need to come and get your boyfriend, he's pooping himself silly, Literally!" Souta called.

Yeah, wearing pull-ups sucked, but as Souta pulled his head back out of the back door and looked down at Inuyasha, at least he was a stinky diaper derp.

The end..for now

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myherodreaming · 5 years ago

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Okay sooooo Todoroki , Tamaki and Shinsou when starting a family. Like fron being told that they are going to be dads to the moment the baby says its first words ? They all are going to have girls and Todo has twins because I'm weak to the knees with that hc. Sorry for bothering you

Omg no, it’s not a bother at all!!!! Dad AU is like my favorite thing of all time, I live for it tbh! And I also got your ask about writing for Mirio instead Shinsou, and I can definitely do that, no worries, it’s really sweet that you took the time to do that, I appreciate it ^^ When I start writing for Shinsou I’ll be sure to let you guys know! (Also - I’m not going to name the kids bc I suck at that, sorry!)

TODOROKI SHOUTO

For Shouto, even deciding to take the next step forward in your relationship was huge for him - fatherhood has a different weight for him than it might for someone else. He just knows that when he becomes a father he wants to do the best thing for his child(ren) and be the father he wishes he could have had.

So when you tell him that you’re pregnant, it’s a Big Deal to him. He immediately gets a little teary-eyed and holds you soooo tight. He just buries his face in your neck and murmurs, “I’m going to be a dad.” When he kisses you, you’re both smiling into the kiss.

He’s thrilled, but also super aware of the responsibility it is. From day one he does not take it lightly. He is reading up on everything about taking care of babies and making sure that everything is ready for when the baby comes.

He is the most caring when it comes to morning sickness or any other discomfort you might be feeling - he will do whatever he has to do to make things easier for you.

He pays special attention to your stomach nearly every night, talking softly and promising that he’ll do his best as a dad and saying how much he already loves him/her.

And then you find out that it’s actually TWINS and he is SHOOK - in his mind this kinda changes everything. He was mentally prepared for one baby, but not quite two so it takes a short adjustment period.

But the two of you talk it out and formulate plans for financially and logistically taking care of two babies, and it puts both of you really at ease again, and honestly he just starts to get excited that now there will be two babies to love, and that can’t be so bad, right?

And before he knows it, you’re calling him to say “This is it, it’s happening, I’m in labor *general panic ensues*” so naturally, he rushes home and takes you to the hospital, and he wants to freak out too, but he keeps a calm face hoping it will help you to stop panicking so much, he hates seeing you like this.

He holds your hand the whole time, lets you scream at him, and prays you don’t break any of his bones (you have quite the grip, it turns out)

But all of that is forgotten when you both hear first one, and then another cry, and when the nurse sets the babies on your chest for you to have a look at them, Shouto peers down too, and he is instantly in love in a way he hadn’t realized was possible.

You and your two beautiful, perfect baby girls are suddenly everything in the world to him. He looks at you with wonder in his eyes and presses one soft kiss after another to your lips, then ever so gently kisses each tiny forehead.

The two of you pass the babies back and forth and coo at them and just look down at their tiny scrunchy faces in awe - you can hardly believe this is real, it all feels like a dream. Finally the nurses come to take the babies away so you can have a bit of a chance to rest and you suddenly realize how tired you are.

Shouto spends the entire night in the hard, uncomfortable chair by your bed, and every so often he’ll just reach out to brush the hair away from your sleeping face. He just loves you and your daughters so much.

Life with two babies is hard. It definitely takes some time to work out the best way to take care of them both, but somehow, the two of you do it. You make a great team, and that’s especially evident now.

He’s such a caring, attentive father - he wants to make sure each and every need is met and that both of your girls get plenty of love. He’s always kissing their chubby cheeks and blowing raspberries on their stomachs to see them giggle. It’s heartwarming to watch.

They both say their first word on the same day - one is “kitty” because she’s obsessed with your cat, and the other is “Daddy” (he’s gonna pay for that later but he’s so over the moon he doesn’t even care)

Bottom line, sometimes he worries whether he’s really the best father he can be for your girls, but you’re always the one to assure him that he’s doing the best you could possibly hope for and you wouldn’t change a single thing about your life right now.

AMAJIKI TAMAKI

It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to Tamaki that you’re pregnant, because the two of you have been hoping for a baby for a while now, but you know your husband and so you know that you have to tell him as gently and carefully as possible because you know he’ll still freak out.

You take his hands and smile at him, and he can tell something is up so oh god he’s getting nervous already, but your soft voice calms him like it always does. “Tamaki, I took a test today. I’m pregnant.” And he’s just... blink. blink. realization. When it hits him, his eyes go so wide, and he covers his face with his hands and leans into you.

You wrap your arms around him and ask if he’s okay, and he finally takes his hands away from his face so he can hold you close and murmurs, “I’m just so happy.”

And he is - he’s absolutely over the moon, nothing can ruin his high. Whenever he’s cuddling you, his hands are always at your belly, giving it feather-light touches as he talks softly to your baby.

Your morning sickness does make him a bit nervous, and he’s always there to rub your back and make sure you’re okay, he wonders if you should stop working now and you just laugh - you’re on desk duty anyway, you’d go crazy if you stopped working with 7 months of your pregnancy to go.

He’s always asking you how you’re feeling and doing everything he possibly can to ease your workload at home. He takes on most of the work in the nursery because there’s no way he’ll let you be around the paint or the heavy lifting involved in assembling all the furniture.

The closer it gets to your due date, the more worried he gets about all the things that could potentially go wrong, and you end up having to reassure him a lot.

When the day comes, he’s a MESS. He feels like he’s floundering around while you’re the one taking charge which just makes him feel worse, but he gets you to the hospital and he refuses to leave your side the whole time despite the urge to puke which never quite leaves him - he knows you’re going through much, much worse. He keeps talking to you, and finally it’s over.

When I tell you he cried when he saw your daughter for the first time - he took one look at the little tiny face and the teeny pointed ears and just lost it. Part of him wanted to curl up into a little ball to process all of this, but that would mean he had to take his eyes off of you and his daughter and that is one thing he will not do.

He gives you a very salty, wet kiss before he settles in next to you, half-sitting on the bed so he can get the best view possible of this impossibly tiny little human that was created by the two of you. He doesn’t even know how long the two of you spend, just looking down at her.

He doesn’t even care about any hospital rules or whatever, he just crawls into the bed next to you as soon as the nurse leaves, and cuddles up to you, telling you to sleep now because you’ve had a long day and you deserve it. Meanwhile he just lays there with you in his arms and thinks about you and your daughter.

He is the sweetest Dad ever. He always makes time for her, even when he has to go back to work he talks to her and kisses her little face and helps you out as much as he can.

HE IS SO PROUD OF HIS DAUGHTER. He wants to show her off to everyone. He cannot get enough of her.

Her first word is some form of the word “butterfly” because he points one out to her whenever he sees one and one day she saw it first and pointed to it and tried to say “butterfly” and his heart exploded in his chest, rip Tamaki.

He tells you every chance he gets how happy he is, and how he wouldn’t trade his life for anything.

TOGATA MIRIO

(Have you seen Mirio with Eri? SWOON, he’s going to be the best dad EVER)

The two of you have spent so much time with Eri that it isn’t long after you’re married that you decide to have a child of your own. It just seems like the natural next step.

The two of you are sitting there side by side waiting for the test results, and you’re practically shaking in anticipation, he has his arm around you to keep you calm - but you snatch up the test the moment the timer is up and when you see the positive result you both SCREAM.

He is cheering and spinning you around, he is so excited to take this next step with you because he can’t wait to watch you be a mom to your child. Then he sets you down very carefully because he’s remembered that there’s a baby inside of you and he wants to be gentle.

He is the one kissing your stomach at every opportunity, telling the baby how much he loves it and how excited he is to meet it. He has full blown conversations with your stomach, which makes you laugh, but you can’t helping feeling all warm inside when you think about what a great dad he’s going to be.

He is right there every step of the way, helping you out with whatever you need and taking care of anything that he can so you don’t have to. He just wants to make life as easy for you as possible since you are growing an entire human being.

He goes all out with the nursery, making sure that your baby has the best of the best in everything, and as many toys as possible. The room is stuffed to the max, you can hardly move in it.

You wake up in the middle of the night and realize that this is happening so you shake him awake, and he immediately sits straight up - he practically carries you all the way to the hospital (you have to remind him that cars exist)

Once you’re there, he’s right by your side, chanting as much encouragement as he can at you and insisting that you squeeze his hand as hard as you need to. Seeing you in so much pain is very hard for him, he nearly cries (and it’s totally not because you’ve just crushed his hand), but soon enough it’s over.

When he sees your little girl for the first time, it’s all over for him. He’s absolutely smitten. He just wants to hold the both of you in his arms forever. He alternates between kissing each of your foreheads, saying “I love you” over and over again.

It feels like the two of you are in your own little world, floating on a cloud of happiness. Even with all of the struggles that come with taking care of a baby, you face everything together, and your little girl makes it all so worth it.

She’s so cheerful and happy all the time, the sound of her laughter makes Mirio’s heart practically beat out of his chest. Making her laugh is his new single mission in life.

Now, you know that Eri is absolutely smitten with her. She sees her as much as possible, always playing with her and making her giggle. So when her first word is “Eri”, it doesn’t really come as a surprise, but it sure stings a little. She’s so cute when she says it, though, that it passes quickly.

Mirio is just BIG HAPPY. He couldn’t ask for a better life or family, and he makes sure that he tells you that every day.

#I AM SO SOOOFFFTTT #mha x reader #bnha x reader #Todoroki Shouto #Todoroki Shouto x reader #Todoroki x reader #Amajiki Tamaki #Amajiki Tamaki x reader #Amajiki x reader #Tamaki x reader #Togata Mirio #Togata Mirio x reader #Mirio x reader #request

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years ago

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I love your writing and get super happy when I get a notification about this series. My prompt would be: Sirius tries to get Regulus to leave the death eaters and gets roped into trying to destroy the horcrux with him. Sirius drinks the potion instead and this whole mess somehow ends with James and Sirius getting together. Would love some angst!!!

((A/N: Warning for mentions of suicide))

"You sure about this?" Regulus asked nervously.

Sirius gave him a flat look. "It's a bit late to change your mind now," he said, gesturing to the cave around them. Crossing the water hadn't been easy since the boat was designed to only carry one, and now, standing in front of the basin with the necklace visible on the bottom was kind of the worst time to decide that he didn't want to do this anymore. Their goal was in sight; even if Regulus decided to leave, it would mean that Sirius had to try this on his own. He would prefer not to try that, but he couldn't, in good conscience, walk away.

"Not that. I just meant- you're better at thinking on your feet. Maybe I should be the one to drink it."

Sirius shook his head. "No way. You know more about Voldemort and what's going on with the Death Eaters than I do. If the potion is designed to kill the drinker, we'd still need you alive and well."

"You're not going to die from drinking it."

"You know that for sure?" Sirius asked, tying back his hair. He had no idea how this was going to go, and he didn't want his hair in his face for it.

"Are you suicidal and I'm just now learning about it?" Regulus asked, looking alarmed.

"For fuck's sake, Regulus. Take a deep breath, and calm down."

"I can't believe you are telling someone to calm down, and if there were ever a moment to panic, I should think you'd agree that now is a fitting time."

"Panicking is going to make it hard for you to think. Just remember: as soon as you can, grab the necklace and get out."

"I'm not leaving you behind."

"I'll be fine. I'm not planning on dying in a cave in the middle of nowhere," he said with a smirk.

Regulus wasn't the least bit comforted by that. He knew Sirius was lying-- he wouldn't be fine.

Sirius took a deep breath and picked up the cup sat on the side of the basin. "Here goes nothing," he muttered.

Regulus felt like he was in some state of shock. His body was moving automatically, but it's like his brain was frozen in place. He'd seen Sirius have all sorts of emotional outbursts-- from angry and screaming at their parents to silent and shaking. This was a first for seeing him cry so hard he couldn't breathe. Sirius had been fine drinking the liquid at first, but the effects were cumulative. He got a little choked up after a few cups, and by the end, Regulus had been helping him drink it. He hadn't wanted to, but Sirius had figured out about halfway through that he wouldn't be able to finish all on his own.

It had been a steady spiral downwards for Sirius, but that didn't make seeing the end result any easier. He was a wreck, and it wasn't getting any better. Regulus had been sure that it wouldn't kill him at first, but after seeing him vomit because of how hard he was crying, he started to doubt it. He needed to get Sirius help, and he needed to do it fast. He couldn't just walk into St. Mungo's after betraying the Dark Lord with his brother in tow and expect for nothing bad to happen.

That left him with one option-- or at least one option that he could currently think of.

Personally, he didn't trust Potter. He didn't know him, and he didn't care to. But he needed help-- both with the necklace and with Sirius-- and there was no one better than Potter for that.

Sirius was heavy. Regulus hadn't thought about it before, but Sirius was taller than him and almost twice as big around. Regulus had never felt like a bloody stick before, but he was wearing himself out trying to drag him around. It was something of a miracle that he hadn't fallen over, to be honest. He landed with a grimace on Potter's front stoop, then kicked the door-- he couldn't take an arm away from Sirius for long enough to knock unless he wanted to drop him. He waited a couple seconds, then kicked the door again. "Come on, come on, come on," he chanted, hoping desperately that Potter was home; if he wasn't, they were buggered. He kicked the door again, sending jolts up his leg.

"What the hell are you-" James said, yanking the door open. His eyes darted from Regulus's face to Sirius's slumped form. "The fuck happened?" he asked, hurrying forward to take Sirius's weight.

Regulus's arms felt like jelly. Numbly, he followed him into the house and closed the door behind himself.

"Oi, I asked you a question. What happened?"

"There was- I needed help," he said, voice small.

"With what?" James asked, maneuvering Sirius onto the couch.

Regulus didn't want to talk about it, but he knew that he had to answer a few questions before Potter would relax.

Sirius felt like utter shite when he woke up. The nightmares-- or whatever they were called-- called by the potion had been... vivid. Overly realistic like he was reliving every single moment of the worst day of his life.

He'd realised, one day back in Hogwarts, that James wasn't going to ever be interested in him. It had him hard. James had gone on a date, and then he'd been so excited about it that he'd started to tell Sirius every little detail-- just like they did with everything else. Sirius had snapped at him halfway through and told him that he didn't want to hear about that shite; James hadn't understood why he was getting upset and got mad in return. There had been a decent amount of insults thrown back and forth, and Sirius had stormed out. He'd spent half of the night away, and he'd seriously considered never going back. He'd been hurt and angry and so depressed that he felt like he couldn't even pretend to be okay. In his opinion, he'd had worse days, but that was the only one that had been horrible where James was concerned. Everything else, he'd had James around to comfort him afterwards. For that, he'd been all alone. He couldn't exactly go running off to James when James was the problem.

Sirius wasn't suicidal. But he had been that night. Looking back on it, it felt stupid, but reliving it had reminded him of why he'd been thinking about it. It hadn't been stupid that night.

It meant that when he woke up, not only did he have a tender stomach from vomiting and a headache from crying, but he also felt... fragile. He wondered where Regulus had brought him, because he knew as soon as he opened his eyes that he wasn't in hospital.

"Hey," James said softly, off to the side.

Sirius rolled his head to the side to look at him.

He gave a small smile, looking worried. "How do you feel?"

"Been better," Sirius said, swallowing. "Is Regulus okay?"

"He's fine. He's asleep in a guest room."

Sirius nodded, eyes closing again. He felt James brush some hair away from his forehead and press a kiss to the skin there.

"I could've been there if you told me about it," James said, softly reproaching.

"Regulus didn't know who to trust," Sirius mumbled. Sleep was tugging at him again, and he knew they'd have time to talk about it later. For now, it was enough for him to be reminded that James didn't hate him.

The next time he woke up, he knew it was for several hours. The trouble was that he'd rather go back to sleep. He didn't see anyone as he got off the couch and walked to the kitchen for some water. He didn't feel firm enough to stay standing, so he sat at the table to sip gingerly at his drink. He'd need to brush his teeth soon, because this wasn't sustainable.

He got halfway through his glass before James walked into the room. "Feeling any better?" James asked.

"A bit," Sirius said. He winced at how rough his voice sounded. His throat didn't hurt, and he didn't really remember much about last night. Or whenever it was that he'd gone to the cave with Regulus. After losing time first with the potion then with sleeping so much, he didn't know how long it had been. "How long was I sleeping?"

"Couple days," James said with a shrug. "Lily came by to check up on you."

Lily was training to be a medi-witch, so it made sense that she would've been by. What didn't make sense was that Regulus hadn't protested; he wasn't a blood supremacist anymore, but he'd made it clear that he wouldn't be comfortable around Sirius's mates. He hadn't exactly been lucid for it, but he assumed that the only reason he'd gone to James was because he hadn't known what to do with Sirius otherwise. And, given the choice between Sirius possibly dying and talking to someone he'd rather avoid, Regulus would always choose to talk to someone he'd rather avoid.

"Is Regulus still here?" Sirius asked.

"Not right now. He's with Dumbledore, filling him in on what he knows about Voldemort. I told them that they could stay here, but Dumbledore insisted. I figured you wouldn't mind since there's nowhere safer than with Dumbledore. And er, I guess safe is where you want your brother? You're talking again? Or still?"

"Again," Sirius said. "I wouldn't have been able to keep something like that from you even if I wanted to. Did he tell you what me being sick was about?"

"Yeah. Pretty sure he didn't want to, but I was sort of freaking out." He admitted it easily, utterly unashamed of it. He still looked worried, even though Sirius was okay now. "You should've told me what you were doing before you left."

"You were on a date," Sirius said. It was a weak excuse, and he knew it. There was no easy way for him to explain that any time James said he had a date, Sirius left him the fuck alone. He never wanted to do anything that could make James think he was jealous. It had been stupid and he knew it, but he'd figured that James couldn't get too mad at him for not telling him if he got injured-- and if he didn't get hurt at all, then he would've been able to tell James that there had been no reason to worry.

"That's not the point. You should always tell me when you're going to do something stupidly dangerous so that I can be available if you need help. What would you have done if I wasn't home?"

The thing was, Sirius knew when James was deflecting. So instead of answering his question, he said, "You were on a date, weren't you?"

Guilt flashed across his face.

"What, you lie to me now? About dates?" Sirius had thought he did a pretty good job of hiding his crush, but if James was lying to him about going on dates, clearly he hadn't hidden shite. "What the hell?"

James swallowed, averting his eyes for a moment to peer at the floor. He toed a piece of dirt. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"What the buggering hell were you doing that I would've worried about?" If James said that he was going into Knockturn Alley all by himself in the middle of the night, Sirius was going to kill him.

"Nothing," he said, taking a seat at the table.

Sirius glared at him suspiciously.

"Nothing! I swear. I just sit at home when I tell you I have a date."

"Why the hell would you do that? If you don't want me to visit, you can just say so."

"No- fucking hell, no that's not what it is."

"Then what is it?"

James looked at him for a long moment. There was something haltingly hopeful in his eyes, but it was clear that he was trying to tamp down on it. "You really don't know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Am I supposed to know why you lie to me just to sit at home all by yourself?"

"I didn't want you to figure out that I'm in love with you. I knew it would make things weird. Hell, the only reason I'm fessing up to it now is because Regulus figured it out, and I didn't want him to drop it on you out of nowhere. He thought we were together, you know," James said. "You kept saying my name when you were hallucinating, so he asked me. I guess I didn't answer in a way that wasn't suspicious. He'd make a great interrogator," he added thoughtfully. "He stared at me, and it felt like everything came spilling out."

Sirius blinked. James had said that he loved him like it wasn't even a revelation. "You love me?" he asked hoarsely.

"Well yeah," James said, pairing the statement with a soft, small smile. The sort of smile he did when he looked at Sirius like he was the most wonderful thing in the world-- like he was looking at him right now.

Sirius's throat worked. "I kind of want to kiss you silly, but I'm not really feeling up to standing. Would you erm- help me out and come over here?"

"You- me?"

"Not going to snog anyone else," Sirius said.

James scrambled over to him, nearly knocking over his chair. Only instead of kissing Sirius, he wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight.

"Hey, my lips are down here," Sirius joked.

"Believe me, I know," James muttered, like he'd thought about kissing him a hundred times-- and he had. "I want to wait until you can stand on your own for that though."

"I can stand," Sirius protested.

"For more than two minutes?"

"You're making this harder than it needs to be," Sirius muttered, but he relaxed into James's chest. He'd get a kiss soon enough. And after that, as many kisses as he wanted.

#prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #regulus black #fanfic #suicide tw #filled #first war #getting together #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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mintdrop · 4 years ago

Note

Pregnant Mint headcanons when?? 🥺

MY HEAD IS FULL

When she first gets pregnant and starts experience morning sickness, she assumes that she’s just been eating too much and needs to cut down on serving sizes

When the morning sickness doesn’t stop, Estinien more or less forces her to see a chirurgeon. He doesn’t go in with her, but he can only assume it’s something bad when Mint comes back looking kind of shell-shocked.

“Estinien,” her voice is kind of soft, like she’s telling a secret. “I’m pregnant.” and he’s just bolted to the floor until she comes a little closer.

“Does it hurt? Are they sure? I’ll call Krile to check-” his words might sound nervous or disappointed to some but he’s actually like.. really excited, Mint can hear it in his voice

Krile confirms it and tells the other scions that Mint will be out of commission for a while; the second she leaves the room, the two are instantly in a deep hug

You’d think Mint would still be rambunctious but she mellows out almost instantly because she doesn’t want to risk anything at all.

The two of them go back to their home in Ishgard, and the first thing they do is let Aymeric know Mint is pregnant; she asks him to be the baby’s godfather (or the eorzean equivalent), which he accepts

Mint spends most of her time baking or singing to her tummy; it’s rare to see her without her hands on her stomach, just because it feels right to her. Estinien has also started holding and cuddling with Mint more carefully, usually letting his hands rest on top of hers on her tummy

When the baby first kicks, Mint is like “wha- huh?” and stands there in absolute silence until she feels it again. Then she’s scurrying over to Estinien, calling his name in such a way that makes him think something bad has happened.

“Look, look!” she grabs at his hand and puts it on her stomach, and says “just wait.” A few seconds pass before the baby kicks again, and his eyes light up. He (carefully) picks Mint up and they just sit there embracing for several minutes.

Mint makes a trip to see Aymeric while Estinien is out on dragoon business to let him see how much the baby has grown, as she’s about 8 months in, and while they’re talking Mint just gets incredibly soft anytime she talks about the baby.

Aymeric gives Mint a linkpearl to a personal chirurgeon for “when they’re needed”

A while later and her water pops, and Estinien just freaks out. Like he just starts panicking, “what do I do? do I bring you to the nearest chirurgeon? That’s so far away-” Mint just laughs and tells him to calm down, and hands him the linkpearl that Aymeric had given her before. She explains who it’s for and he calls right away

During the birth, Estinien is by Mint’s side for the entirety of it, holding and squeezing her hand whenever she squeezes first. As much as he wants to, he avoids looking at the birthing itself because he’d probably faint.

When it’s done, he instantly kisses her forehead, showering her in praises

When Mint is given the baby to hold, she just starts crying. Happy tears, of course, but they spill without any sort of barrier to hold them back. “Niosent....”

Aymeric comes the next day to meet the baby and give Mint and Estinien gifts. He gets a little teary-eyed and tries to turn around while he’s holding Nio but Mint saw. She’ll use it to tease him in the future

After a few weeks of newborn parenting (Estinien jokes about regretting it because of how often he has to get up in the middle of the night skdjfbds) they bundle Nio up and go to Mor Dhona to introduce the Scions to him.

Everyone is kind of shocked and takes a turn holding him. When it’s Alisaie’s turn, Mint asks if she’d like to be Nio’s godmother (or eorzean equivalent). Alisaie stutters a lot because she doesn’t think she’s good enough but Mint aggressively reassures her that she wouldn’t want any other. Alisaie agrees and gets attached to the baby real fast

#;; spearmint #lays down. cries so much. all three of them.... babies...........#windup-dragoon

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fydream · 5 years ago

Note

27 from those prompts with donghyuck please🥰

☌ genre: boyfriend!donghyuck x reader, fluff

☌ prompt #27: “I’m going to die. I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!” | prompt list + inbox

☌ warnings: this isnt proof read!! mentions of height, and the word “fuck”

☌ word count: 1.8k

Summer vacation was definitely the only thing you needed right now. It meant no more stress, no more school work, being able to dress however you want, and spending more time with your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck.

From the second you started dating Donghyuck knew what kind of date he wanted to take you on. An amusement park date!

You were excited, of course, because this was one of the only “big dates” that you’ve had with Donghyuck. Your last “big date” was during spring break which happened to be months ago, so when you heard the words “Wanna come to the amusement park with me?” leave your boyfriend’s mouth you didn’t hesitate to agree.

At the time, you thought it was a great idea to agree to because it meant a whole day at the park with just your boyfriend. Little did you know the plans he had in store..

Both you and Donghyuck had just gotten off of one of those spinny rides, where you felt the entire purpose of it was just to make people sick, which meant it was his turn to pick what you would ride next.

“Where to next?” You asked as the two of you filed out of the exit gate.

“It’s a surprise,” He says, grabbing your hand. “Okay now you gotta trust me with this.. Close your eyes.”

“Um.. Okay.” You hesitantly say, following his instructions.

You suddenly felt yourself being dragged through a crowd of people, an occasional “sorry” being spoken whenever you felt yourself bump i to someone, which was quite often due to your boyfriend’s lack of navigation skills. It ended up with you two being just centimeters apart the entire time in order to avoid crashing into anyone else, which he absolutely loved.

“Okay.. You can open your eyes now!” He exclaimed as you reached his spot. From what you heard there were many screams along with the sound of a rollercoaster passing by so it was no surprise to where you were, only thing you had to guess was which coaster it was.

So when you opened your eyes, expecting a more tame one to be in front of you were a little more than disappointed. “Hyuckie no!!!” You whined, resulting in a pout to appear on his face. “Something else! Anything else!”

“Okay then.. What about the drop tower then?” He asked, knowing full well that you’d disagree.

“I think I’d rather do this over the drop tower..” You grumbled and once again, his smile came back.

See the thing is that you were okay with rollercoasters! Just as long as none of them had a 50ft. drop in them, which was definitely not the one that Donghyuck had taken you too.

“You are so gonna regret this Lee Donghyuck..” You whispered as you felt yourself being dragged once again.

In about ten (10) or so minutes you two found yourselves being seated at the very front row, which Donghyuck was extremely happy for, while you? Not so much.

“Hyuck do we have to??” You whined as you climbed into the seat next to him, quickly fastening your seatbelt.

"It’s my pick y/n.” He teased, sending a wink your way.

“I actually hate you right now.” You pout.

Soon enough you heard a voice on the intercom go, “Alright ladies and gentlemen, please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times. Thank you and enjoy the ride!” and before you knew it, you were moving.

“I still don’t know how I thought agreeing to this was a good idea..” You mumble, earning a snicker from Hyuck.

“Don’t worry Y/n, it’ll be great.” He jokes.

As you felt the ride climb higher you couldn’t help hold your breath and tightly grasps the supports around you. Once you reached the top you could practically see the drop below you. “Holy fuck.” You whispered, looking down at the track below you.

Before you knew it you heard a click on the ride, causing your cart to stay at the very top. The next thing you expected was for the coaster to quickly drop but instead you heard a voice on the intercom say “Uhm, ladies and gentlemen we are currently experiencing some technical difficulties and the ride has been paused for a quick moment. Excuse us while we call maintenance. In the meantime please keep all body parts inside the cart at all times for the ride will continue momentarily.”

“What?!” You yell as you feel a wave of panic rush through you. “We’re stuck?!”

“Looks like it..” Donghyuck mumbles.

“Oh my god- Oh my god, this it it! This is where I die!” You practically yell. “I’m going to die. I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!”

“Hey! You don’t mean that!” Donghyuck whines.

“Yes! Yes I do!” You scold, trying your best to send a glare his way.

“Well if I’m an idiot I might as well be your idiot.” He coos, in an attempt to at least get you to smile, which he most definitely failed.

“Hyuck this is all your fault!!!” You whined, voice high pitched and squeaky. “I can’t believe you got me into this mess!!”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know the ride was supposed to break down?” He replied back, slightly offended at what you just said.

“I- You get what I mean!!!”

“Geez, chillax y/n. It’s not like we’re gonna be stuck up here forever.” He scoffs playfully. “Besides, you’re only going to freak yourself out more if you keep panicking.”

“But Hyuck, we’re literally at the top if 50ft.”

“Okay? And? Just don’t look down.”

“Thanks babe. I love your words of encouragement.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Hey. Look at me.” He says, trying his best to face you. “We’ll be fine, okay?”

You sigh, accepting the fact that you probably won’t get out of here for a while. “Okay..”

And once again the intercom starts and you hear the same voice say “Ladies and gents, we have found the issue and the ride will continue momentarily. Staff will be coming around to check your seatbelts once again so please be cooperative, and we are sorry for the delay. Thank you and remember to keep your hands and feet in the cart at all times.”

“Oh thank god.” You exclaim and let out a sigh of relief. Soon enough you felt the cart drop and that slight feeling of relief quickly faded being replaced with fear.

“See! That wasn’t so bad was it?” Donghyuck joked as soon as you made it back where you started. Saying nothing, you send a glare his way that said everything that needed to be said.

“I’m never letting you chose again.” You mumble, as you made your way out of the cart and onto the platform on the other side, your legs still wobbly causing Donghyuck to be your support beam.

“You don’t mean that.~” He cooed, holding you up as the two of you quickly filed out of the exit gate once again.

“Yes I do.” You scoff.

“Aw c'mon y/n!! Don’t be like that!!” He whines. “You can’t stay mad at me forever!! How was I supposed to know it was going to stop?” He asks again.

You don’t respond, you just pout at him response.

“Hey, how about this.” He says, quickly running in front of you to place his hands on your shoulders, causing you to look at him. “Instead of going on another ride how about we go get funnel cake or churros instead. Hm?” He asks.

“Okay..” You whisper. “Just. Don’t make me go on that ride again.”

“I won’t dear, I promise.”

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emiisanxious · 4 years ago

Text

Rainy Day

Archive of Our Own Link

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Additional Tags:

Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders

Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders

Rain

a LOT of rain

Light Angst

Swearing

Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric

Summary: “On a storm day, Virgil was feeling so good that he decided to go for a walk, of course, he didn't say anything to anyone, since he wasn't expecting to be a problem.

Or: Virgil spaces outs, goes for a walk, Roman, Logan, and Patton get sick worried because they can't find him. Remus doesn't care as far he is back, and Janus just wants him to come back or use a dammit umbrella.”

Note: On a rainy day I had this idea, and won't leave me out so... I thought why not? Although this fic isn't perfect in my eyes, it does have a big warm spot in my heart. It can be a messy and unclear text in some parts, but... It truly was warm for me... Really I liked to type this one.

He could hear, other than his music blasting through his headphones, the sound of cars passing in water puddles, the water descending by a pipe, he could hear the small droplets against his window, the wind making the window cause noises because of the speed. Weird enough those were calming sounds.

Obviously, he didn't like the thunder when he wasn't looking, but he could appreciate it if he is sitting at the window looking at the rain. After all, the light of thunder is quicker than the sound, so he won't feel scared when he is watching. A calming feeling, a sense of cold but not the bad one, he could just stay under his blankets hearing those sounds and... Appreciate it.

As he put down his phone and headphone on his bed table. Curling in a small ball under the pile of blankets, maybe he should just go outside? Cold weather isn't something he often can appreciate, and it would be nicer to have rain falling over his body. A small smile, as he got up from his bed; the others were all busy so it's not they would miss him right now. He just needs to make sure to be back before dinner is ready, right?

With that in mind, he put on his boots, skinny distressed jeans, his old black and grey jacket mostly because he didn't want to attract attention, but at the same time, he does worry about the weather damaging his purple patched one. Pulling up his hoodie, he got his phone and went outside. Because of the rain, no one would notice him walking around, heck! If they didn't recognize Remy, why should he care about him?!

The feel of the droplets touching his face, the droplets slowly wetting his clothes, he didn't mind it. He was happy with the overwhelming feeling of the calm and solitude that the rains bring him. The slowly building up weigh as his clothes start to get wet. Looking at the gray sky, the street lights turned on a bit more early so it wouldn't be dark.

Like anytime that it's raining, Virgil felt so... Good. His thoughts for once far back in his mind, nothing to worry about, nothing to be cautious about. He knows that it's his work been anxious about everything, self-aware of everything but... Once in a while... It was good to feel the opposite.

Sadly, his thoughts were back to reality as he picks up his phone. It was vibrating a few minutes ago, but now it was getting more insistent. Insistent from Janus and the same type of messages.

Deceit: Virgil. GET. OUT. OF. THE. RAIN!

"Fuck" He murmured before laughing, he found it funny, how now that Deceit was better accepted between the traits, he was back in mamma mod with him.

Daddy: Virge, I tried to knock on your door? Are you okay? Daddy: Virge, please answer me! Daddy: Oh... You're not in your room... Daddy: Sorry for getting inside your room without consent. Daddy: Wait... Daddy: WHERE ARE YOU?! Daddy: ARE YOU OKAY?! Daddy: VIRGIL WHERE ARE YOU?!

"Why he needed me?" He thought as he sighed at that as he looked at the rest of the messages, it seems he was wrong when he thought that he would just be called at dinner.

Logic: Patton is really worried about you. Where are you? He is yelling and asking everyone. Can you answer me at least? Prince: Hey hot topic, where are you? Padre is yelling and is freaking out... Prince: That is it! We are going to ask De--- Janus. Rat: You know, mama is really worried, can you get out of the fucking rain?! Also, the light trio is here asking where the fucking you're. Dee is lying, although I don't understand why. Rat: Can you just get the fuck back home bitch?

"Thaaaaaaaaaaat is weird." He thought again as he looks at the sky, it has been a lovely walk around, he was feeling a bit cold from his wet clothes, but he didn't mind, not at all. Closing his eyes as he let the rain pour over him before his anxiety kicked in and wash over that feeling of calm he opened his eyes to send a message again.

Emo: hey rat, can you tell Jan that I will be back in like... 1 hour or so? Rat: WHAT?! NO! Those three are annoying as hell right now! Emo: well... can't care less. im okay. just tell them im okay Rat: They don't believe it. Emo: sucks for them and you. ill be back in 1 hour or so. Emo: oh, says that im fine and when im back i will explain Rat: Uuuuuuurgh... Fine! Only because it's been years since you were this careless. Don't make it a habit! Emo: okay Rat: Enjoy.

With that, he pockets his phone again, starting to walking aimlessly around the street, it's been so long since the last rain, sure it does rain sometimes, but it does need specific things happening to mess with him like that.

Mess up his senses and mind, although he felt angst, sad and even depressed, it did him feel calm, relief and hopeful, he wasn't sure about what or why, but he could care less about it. Also, that was something he doesn't understand, he could care less about everything in that mood.

Like whenever is raining, in that specific mood set, he felt free, free of his anxiety, free of whatever paranoia, free of his thoughts. Just the sound of the rain, the cars passing over the water puddles, the steps on the water, the droplets on the umbrella, the smell of rain. Three of his senses were all around the rain, but it was marvelous and messed up more with him, when his last two senses were as well, sights and hearing since it started thundering around.

He couldn't help, he felt relaxed and he wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, and like all the times that he was that messed up, we went to a park, sitting on a swing, he did lose the passage of time. Although his phone soon was going to start vibrating again.

Deceit: VIRGIL ANXIETY SANDERS! GET BACK TO HOME NOW!

He let out a long laugh, he was alone in the park so he didn't care about it, Janus was back in full mama mod, and honestly? He was going to get scolded a lot about it. But he couldn't seem to care right now.

Prince: Virge, padre is really worried. Can you return? Prince: Like, Remus told us you would be back in 1 hour or so, but it is already dinner. Emo: you can say to Patton, to join with Janus Prince: YOU'RE ALIVE! Prince: What that even mean? Emo sent a picture. Emo: dont tell Janus tho Prince: Okay... WOW! He is like padre! Emo: yeah... he is been sending messages since i left Prince: But really Virge. Come back. Emo: fine... im on my way back... Emo: the catch is... it will take more... 30 minutes or 1 hour Prince: WHAT?!?! Emo: im really... far away right now Prince: Just make your way back! Emo: okay okay... your brother is texting wait a minute

Rat: Mama is mad and angry and worried, you're fucked up if you get sick. Emo: say for him to join with Patton Rat: Oh yeah, that daddy is also worried sick, although less angry and mad. Emo: yeap. im on my home. 30 minutes or 1 hour Rat: Fuck! You got really far, huh? Emo: i would be even far if it wasn't Dee sending so many messages and calling me my full name Rat: Stormcloud, better you hurry up. I can hear Dee and Patton saying they are going to the real world to find you. Emo: okay okay... now NERD is texting... wait a minute

Logic: I presume that Roman, Remus, Janus, and Patton already did their worried text? Emo: yes...? Logic: So I should be more direct. Why are you out in the rain? Emo: rain numbs my anxiety... Logic: That... Doesn't make sense. Emo: no logic can explain it. Emo: just... it numbs, totally, i don't feel anxious, i don't feel bad, i don't care... i feel calm... Logic: Huh. That is curious. Emo: so... i just enjoy it... i thought that you guys won't call me till dinner. Logic: Well... You see Patton went to check on Thomas. And Thomas was really... Really... Calm. Patton panicked and thought you had ducked out, although it was weird because Thomas wasn't like with the symptoms of you disappearing. Logic: The reason for worry was because Thomas was lazy all the time today, to a point where Patton was checking for him to eat and things like that. So Patton called me, to figure out if something was wrong. We couldn't find why. So we tried to summon you but you didn't show up, we went to your room, but you weren't there and it just... Emo: you all jumped to a conclusion Emo: come on... a little faith?! Logic: I apologize. Emo: im on my way back, i will be in 30 minutes or 1 hour Logic: You were far away huh? Emo: yes, please when im back i want you all to be in the real-world okay? Emo: even Janus and Remus Logic: For what? Emo: because i want to discuss this "jumped conclusion" and explain a few things Logic: Sure. I will tell them. Emo: thanks, now im going back.

He took a deep breath, passing his hand over his face, he didn't wear makeup, since he knew it would be pointless, as he gets ups and returns to his home. In the middle of his walk, he got lost in thought and feelings again, to a point that when he got home he had glassy purple eyes, getting inside he could see the six already there, where he just looked to himself, he was wet and dripping from all his time on the rain.

He was also wearing his old jacket, something he didn't do since he was accepted, and that probably freaked out them more than anything as he looks at them. But that was enough to snap him back from his dazed mind.

"Thanks for been here." He said sarcastic, he changed his clothes with a snap, so it wasn't dripping or wet anymore, it was more like his normal clothes for now. His purple patched jacket, his sneakers instead of boots, and now he picked up things to do his make up, while he sat on the stairs as normal. "Let's get over it shall we?" He said while applying his makeup.

"Virgil, why..." Thomas tried to say something but he was lost.

He was totally back in been anxiety when he applied his makeup. "Why you're so calm?" A nod as he looks to his host. "I'm calm now. Normally when it rains my anxiety gets numb when things are like today, that is more a storm with thunder, wind, and the heavy rain I just get... More numb."

"That is true, but since normally doesn't rain that much it is rare for him to do that." Remus said as he looked at Janus who was storming.

"Told you for fucking sake at least use a dammit umbrella!" Janus was angry and mad. "Also you should get a warm bath, take some soup or drink something warm!"

"Why is Janus so...?" Thomas didn't know how to vocalize those thoughts as he looks to the yellow side.

"Janus was and is, the mother figure for most of The Others? Well not all of them, because a few are jerks, the ones who weren't, Dee was the mother. Like Patton is the Daddy for Roman and Logan" Virgil shrugged as he looked between Thomas and Deceit. "Relax, I will do it soon. Also, umbrellas take half of the purpose!"

"Please don't start arguing you both... Jan I know you're worried, but Vee doesn't give you a shit when it's storming. Vee, I know that okay? Just focus on explaining the things?" Remus put his hand between the two sides who were nearly starting to argue.

"Okay." "Fine." Both pouted but did stop as Logan and Patton were still impressed, not used to this new... Thing. Roman on the other hand was the first one to ask. "So... When it's raining your anxiety gets numbs, storms make you more numb if that is possible, and you just... Fall in a sense of calm?"

"Yeah, something like that... I just feel free and can't care about anything... I fell calm, extremely relaxed, and self-aware, but needed to say, Thomas can't have anything on the day that happens. After all, taking care of Thomas is a top priority and thus I won't be able to relax. On that note, since the day Logan calmed me and Thomas with those five sensory exercises, I realized, that in the rain it's like... A real version of that?" Virgil answered while looking at Logan.

"Oh... I guess since you're the mental representation of anxiety, you need something more grounding than just breathing exercises, or other ground exercises to fully calm down and relax. Like the full five senses working on something instead of just exercises. Oh... That is interesting." Logan was truly surprised about it.

"So... Why I never noticed it?" Thomas asked curiously as he looks around.

"Because... I'm normally back in a spawn of time, like 1 hour or 30 minutes. I don't always go that far, like today. But... Today my mind got really blank and numb, and I didn't notice my phone at all. That is why everyone texted me and was worried. Also, when I go for a walk, I normally end up noticing how long I'm out but today was... Off." He felt bad for worrying them but at the same time, he was feeling calm and relaxed, which was really weird for him. "What I'm mean is... I'm sorry for worrying you guys... I will not do that again..."

"No!" Patton surprised everyone when he exclaimed. "No! You don't need to stop doing it! If it's something that does you well then you shouldn't stop it! You were so happy and calm when you got here, that I was surprised. But I can see it does you very well."

"I have to agree. It's not something bad or some type of disease, it does seem that it's good for you to relax and for Thomas to have a nice and relaxed day to self-care. I can rearrange his schedule when it's raining so you both can enjoy it. I also, find it quite enjoyable to read while raining so it can be a day for all of us doing some relaxing. Instead of working." Logan was next in change that. "I apologize for us jumping in a conclusion."

"The reason for us been worried is just because we didn't understand what was happening or where you went. Now that we know, and the effects of it we can work with it. If you want, I can let you know whenever is raining in my side of imagination, so you can go there. Not sure if have the same effect, but we can work on something for at least have half of the effect?" Roman was really happy to know that something other than just breath and grounding exercises could help Virgil to feel calmer, so he was the first to jump thinking of ways to help.

Janus and Remus were quiet while looking at Virgil. "I'm sorry Virgil. I shouldn't let my job interfere and be so... Demanding with you. I knew you felt calm and good, but I really worry when you got outside without an umbrella, or just doesn't pick up messages. If you could just work on one of those?" Janus tried as he wasn't sure. "So at least I could worry a bit lest."

"Hm... Why don't Remus come out with me when it happens? He is someone you can rely on texting you back, he can also stalk me without triggering too much, and he sometimes even let me enjoy my solitude although most of the time he will talk a lot. It would be a win-win for everyone. Although I hate the idea of been stalked..." Anxiety let out a small sigh. "But I can't really do any of those Jan... The feeling of rain falling on me is what makes it special. And I get really distracted so I can't really answer a text."

Everyone fell in silence, they didn't know how to deal with that, but surprisingly it was Remus who spoke. "So, how about it, I don't need to stalk you or whatever. I can configure a GPS thing on your phone, you just click a button when you go out, and it will go to Dee and Patton, and they will know your location. And we will just need to rely on that. It's not too invasive, neither is repressing you or creeping you. I won't need to follow you and all."

"Oooh... That sounds like a nice idea." Thomas said while yawning. "Can I nap... The rain really is making me sleep..."

Virgil looked at them and they nodded. "I need to shower and put on some more... Comfortable clothes. So I will go." Without waiting he was back at commons, and soon he was heading to his room, soon he was in the shower, taking a lot of time on there. Even wishing he had a bathtub like Roman or Patton, but he didn't.

After half an hour he was back at the commons, now using pants and still on his hoodie, more relaxed and calm as he goes to the kitchen, finding Patton and Janus. "Kiddo!" As morality noticed him, he saluted with two fingers before sitting down. "Thought in eat and drink something before going back to bed."

"Good, I did some soup and Patton did the food, and we have hot choco. Is that good?" Deceit asked although he was already separating things for Virgil.

"It's fine. Again, sorry for worrying you, mama." As now Virgil wasn't around Remus and Roman he didn't mind in be a bit more... Open. "And daddy."

Both of them got surprised as he looked at Virgil, who was now fidgeting with his jacket's sleeves and looking down. "It's okay Kiddo. We understand and as we said, it isn't something bad." Patton was the first to answer as he heats the meal in the microwave.

"I thought... I would never hear you call me that again..." Janus was shocked as he looked at the anxious side. "But Patton is right, everything will be alright now and apologizes accepted."

"I told you... I was a jerk because I was scared... And I'm sorry about that, but... I'm trying okay? It's not perfect, I sure will close up if my anxiety gets worse but... I'm trying..." He trails off as he looks anywhere but for them.

"It's fine, we know that, I know that, and Remus, well he is just Remus so... I bet he is happy to have his brother back, just, please... Stop him, instead of helping him." Janus smiled as he teases.

"I can't promise anything... Some of Remus's ideas are too good to just... Stop him." He teased back but soon turned in a more serious. "Thank you, you two. I'm not sure what I would be if I didn't have both of you." He smiled softly at that.

"Well, we still have a lot to work on, arguments will happen but... this can be a good family. We will work together instead of separated." Patton smiled as he places the meal in front of Virgil.

"We are all trying Virgil, and that is what matters. Now eat. Before Remus and Roman find you and want to drag you." Janus pointed as he knows one of the twins, and sure enough that could happen.

"Just to ask... Why were you in your old jacket? That kinda bothered me, Logan and Roman..." Patton asked a bit embarrassed.

"Well... I don't like to wash this jacket too much, I get scared it will be torn out. Purple does get too much attention when you're walking around the city. And last old habits, it's just... Normal for me use that jacket when walking outside in the rain. I did that a lot when I was with The Others. So habits."

"Oh... That is not a problem, I can explain that to them later." Morality was thoughtful for a few minutes before he answered. "Oh, do you like the taste of the rain?"

"Yes. Although I don't walk with my mouth open to get it." Chuckles filled the kitchen as Virgil started to eat, the vague sound of rain, the vague sound of droplets on windows. The weather slowly clearing up, but he was still calm, relaxed, and comfortable. Maybe it does have other things that can calm him down like rain, he just needs to find out, although he has a small suspect that a warm meal done by his two "parents" was one small way of getting that feeling.

Maybe... If he can find more small ways of getting that feeling, he could feel like that more times, but for now? He would just enjoy this little warmth.

#Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Remus Sanders #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Janus Sanders #fanfic

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hopesilverheart · 4 years ago

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Title: I loved your colours (before I loved you) Artist: @calliartss Rating: Explicit (Chapter 10 only) Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Clary Fray, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood Word Count: ~95k Summary: Magnus Bane is a journalist who's always dreamed of modelling for Lightwood Fashions. When the CEO Alec Lightwood starts looking for new models for their spring collection, he jumps on the occasion.

In the meantime, Alec Lightwood is struggling with the idea of finally announcing his role as co-designer. When Magnus Bane strolls into his life, Alec is torn between keeping his secret or throwing all caution to the wind.

This fic was created for the Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020.

Chapter 15: Blinded by the colours

Magnus couldn’t breathe.

Isabelle was at his side, rubbing soothing circles into his back and reminding him that he couldn’t back out now, and he couldn’t breathe. The only reason he was still standing was because he couldn’t ruin his outfit, not when he knew how much the show meant to Alexander and Clary.

Magnus would have to be walking down the runway in twenty minutes, but he wasn’t even sure he remembered how to walk. Isabelle had assured him that Andrew and Emily were going through a similar nervous breakdown in their own corner of the changing rooms, but Magnus wasn’t sure she understood how big this event was for him.

He was modelling for the first time in front of hundreds of important people – including some of his ex-corkers – and he was doing so for Alexander’s collection. The collection the man he loved had designed with Magnus in mind. On top of that, this was the night Magnus finally gathered the courage to apologise to Alexander and tell him that he loved him without getting interrupted.

He wasn’t sure an event had ever mattered as much to him as this fashion show did.

“Magnus, I understand why you’re freaking out, but you need to pull it together sooner rather than later,” Isabelle urged him, tightening her hold on him when he stumbled slightly in an attempt to move. “Why don’t we go see the other models, huh? The night is going to be stressful enough as it is, so maybe a bit of time spent with our colleagues will help you relax before the show. Just… forget about the things you’ll have to do in a little while.”

It wasn’t a bad idea, even though Magnus wasn’t sure he could get his mind off the show or Alexander. He had been incapable of thinking about anything else for days, and he didn’t see that changing anytime soon. However, he wasn’t going to deny Isabelle such a simple favour. If she wanted him to talk to the other models, that was exactly what he would do.

“See! I told you Magnus would be just as nervous!” Magnus narrowed his eyes at Aline as he reached the group. He knew he looked like hell, but he really didn’t need another reminder. “No offence, Magnus. I’m sure you’re going to do wonderful out there tonight, but you’re not the only one who needs support and reassurance.”

“You already know people love you,” Andrew nodded, looking panicked and wild and slightly unhinged. “The first issue you released was a success and you’re the only thing anyone can talk about. We, on the other hand, are just some unknown models who can’t afford to screw this up.”

Emily nodded agreeably from her seat on the floor, looking up at Magnus with anxiety written all over her features.

“We had to send someone to get their significant others,” Maia whispered to Magnus and Isabelle as the other models fussed over their two nervous colleagues. “They seem determined to go through with the show so we’re not worried about that, but the last thing we want is someone passing out from sheer anxiety. Do you want us to find someone for you, too?”

“I should already have-”

Before he could finish his sentence, a ball of energy and brown hair came hurtling into his legs, rustling the fabric and almost knocking him over in the process. As much as Magnus wanted to be annoyed at his goddaughter for disregarding his ‘don’t mess with the outfit’ rules, he was far too relieved by her appearance to say anything.

“Madzie,” Catarina tutted, shaking her head at her daughter as she leaned in to kiss Magnus’ cheek. “You’d better hope those pants are still spotless, because I’m pretty sure Magnus’ team isn’t going to accept anything less than perfection.”

Behind Magnus, Maia and Isabelle made matching noises of agreement. If the giggles Madzie let out was anything to go by, they were also pulling faces at the little girl to get on her good side. Ever since Magnus had introduced Madzie to the models and the rest of the fashion team, they had all started harassing him with questions about his goddaughter. He knew she was cute, but she was also not theirs, for heaven’s sake.

“How are you feeling?” Catarina asked him once Madzie had detached herself from him and ran off with one of the girls.

“Not great,” Magnus laughed nervously. “I mean, I know I’ve got the modelling part down since Lydia and Raphael have been coaching me non-stop for months, but- I don’t know, I’m starting to wonder if I should just call everything else off. What if he hates it, Cat?”

“He won’t hate it,” his best friend huffed, shaking Magnus’ shoulders gently. “You pulled off this plan in less than two weeks, and it’s one of the sappiest, most romantic things I have ever had the pleasure of participating in. Is it slightly embarrassing? Yes, but all the best grand gestures are, especially when the recipient is as big a romantic as your man apparently is.”

Magnus knew that. He had thought about that every step of the way, every time he had started doubting himself. Isabelle had assured him that Alec would love the gesture, and he had believed in her. Had believed in himself and his knowledge of what Alexander did and didn’t like. Now, though, he couldn’t help but feel like he had gone completely overboard.

What if Alec didn’t want him back? What if he thought Magnus was trying too hard? What if he wrote him off as desperate? No matter how kind and compassionate Alec was, even he had to have his limits, right?

“Magnus?”

Oh no. No, absolutely not.

Magnus was stressed enough as it was; the last thing he needed was Lorenzo fucking Rey to show up at his work place looking smarmy. How on earth had the man even gotten in?

“Hey, babe,” Andrew cut through Magnus’ thoughts, pecking Lorenzo’s cheek and smiling dopily at the man, looking far less worried than he had seconds earlier. “Thank you for coming here, especially considering- Just… thank you. So, do you and Magnus know each other?”

“We used to work together,” Lorenzo answered easily, looking Magnus up and down confusedly. “At Fade Medias. I thought you had moved to Lightwood Enterprises for a job as Head Editor, Magnus, not as a model. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a model, but it’s a little out of character for you.”

“Is it?” Magnus raised his eyebrows, finally snapping out of his daze. “I think it suits me rather well. And I’m more than capable of handling two jobs at once, Lorenzo. My position as Head Editor is secure even when I’m on another floor, and I’m far from the only person in the department to work as a model.”

“Magnus is great at what he does,” Andrew nodded along to Magnus’ words, earning himself an irritated look from Lorenzo – his date? Boyfriend? “We all just wish he would take a little more time for himself on the side, since he’s always so busy working.”

“That’s me,” Magnus chuckled, smirking slightly at Lorenzo’s guilty look. “Always working harder than anyone else. Maybe that’s why I missed the fact that the two of you are dating. How long has this been going on?”

“A few weeks?” Andrew shrugged. “It’s still pretty recent, but I’d like to think it’ll last a while longer.”

As soon as Lorenzo turned to stare down smittenly at his boyfriend, Magnus knew it was time for him to leave. There were a lot of things he could handle in life, but his ex-boss who had always treated him like crap acting like a love-sick fool wasn’t one of them. Instead, he turned back to the rest of the fashion team and smiled as he spotted a familiar figure embracing Emily.

“Julie!” He greeted the writer, his smile widening when the woman waved at him without turning away from her girlfriend. “I see that the comforting crew has entered the building. Feeling better about the show now, Em?”

“She’d better be feeling better about the show,” Julie huffed, twisting herself around so she was leaning back against Emily, her head resting on the brunette’s shoulder and Emily’s arms wrapped around her waist. “Because she knows she’s beautiful, isn’t that right? And you’re going to do so well, baby; you could just stand there and people would cheer for you. You’ve all been getting ready for months, and there’s no reason for any of you to fail.”

She looked straight at Magnus during that last part, raising her eyebrows at him knowingly, as if she had been aware of just how much he needed to hear something like that. In the meantime, Emily had turned a bright red and had buried her face in her girlfriend’s hair, which Magnus took as his cue to leave the loving couple alone.

“You’re going to be great out there, Em,” he said as he left, patting the brunette’s shoulder reassuringly before grinning widely at Julie. “And you, keep her out of trouble for the next ten minutes or so, alright? Go talk to the other gays in the room – yes, I’m aware that’s just about everyone – and distract her for as long as possible. Thank you for coming.”

“Anything for my baby,” Julie smiled softly, kissing Emily’s temple. “But you’re welcome. Don’t worry about her, I’ll make sure she’s fine, and I’ll see you at work on Monday. Good talking to you, boss.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at the appellation but didn’t bother correcting the blonde woman. He had learned very early on during his time at Lightwood Media that most of his employees would call him whatever they wanted to, whenever they wanted to. Unfortunately for him, he liked Julie enough to let her get away with it.

“And he’s smiling! What a miracle!” Isabelle exclaimed, beaming as Magnus joined her and Clary’s side again. The redhead looked stunning in her emerald and gold dress, and she seemed to be well aware of it. Magnus had never seen her look so confident before.

“I have to be out soon, Magnus, but I just wanted you to know that I think your plan is going to work just fine,” Clary said impassively, even though Magnus could see a sparkle of excitement and eagerness in her eyes. “And of course, I’ll do my best not to screw it up. Isabelle gave me instructions and I intend to follow them, if that makes you feel any better.”

It did, and Magnus didn’t hesitate to express his gratefulness to the redhead. A part of him had worried that she would mess things up for him out of pure spite or pettiness, but he should have known that the woman Isabelle loved wouldn’t do something like that.

“Well then,” Clary continued, grinning widely. “Showtime.”

***

The lights dimmed, and Alec’s heart rate sped up considerably. The ambiant music was turned off, and he tried to remember how to breathe. The audience quieted, a spotlight was aimed at Clary, and a veil of anxiety draped over his skin.

His best friend looked beautiful, dressed in greens and golds and – unknown to the attendees – reds, although those were hidden underneath layers and layers of fabric. Even though Clary had taken care of dozens of fashion shows in the past, Alec thought she had never looked so radiant.

The final reveal was always a moment of joy for the team, and doubly so for the designers, but this was… this was something else. This was the collection that had granted Clary love, and it was the collection that would lead to Alec’s first step into the limelight. They had practised this exact moment hundreds of times, and yet Alec still wasn’t sure he was ready for the chaos that would ensue.

“You’re going to be wonderful out there tonight,” his mother murmured, her eyes never straying from Clary’s graceful figure.

They were both hidden behind two thick curtains at the back of the runway, waiting for Alec’s turn to shine – or to fail, depending on how things went. Alec couldn’t have been more thankful for his mother’s presence; as fragile as their relationship was, he had to admit it was nice to have someone at his side whilst he waited to do the single most terrifying thing he’d ever done in his life.

“You can’t know that,” Alec whispered back, almost bouncing on his toes as he waited for Clary to start speaking. He knew timing was of the greatest importance, but he also just wanted this to be over with already. The sooner they could get the show started, the sooner they could get it finished, and the sooner he could reveal himself and get rid of the horrible anxiety clawing at his chest. “You can’t know how I’ll be. There’s a good chance I’ll freeze on the spot and forget everything I wanted to say. The only speeches I’ve held in the past few years have been business-related, and this is- This is different.”

“It matters more,” his mother hummed, smiling at him softly when he turned to her with wide eyes. “I’m not stupid, Alec. I know you care far more about these clothes you design than you do about the company itself. You’re a great CEO, but you’re an extraordinary designer.”

Alec’s heart stuttered at his mother’s words, still unfamiliar no matter how many times she’d said them in the past two weeks. Despite all his worries, he couldn’t help but perk up slightly at the praise. It reminded him of what Clary had told him once, when they were still young designers who had no idea how successful they were going to be.

Everyone had been pushing Alec to give up, to stick to business and forget about his art, but his best friend had taken him aside and asked him one, very important question.

If you had to choose, if you had to pick one thing you wanted to do forever, could you honestly tell me you would pick business? You’ll be a good CEO once you’ve fixed your father’s messes, Alec, but you could be a spectacular designer.

After that, he had never thought about quitting the job of his dreams ever again. He loved his colours, his partnership with Clary, and the support of the fashion team far too much for that. Now, he was going to get to share all of that with the rest of the world. He would be able to tell them that the only reason he was still a designer was because of the people around him.

That thought was enough to have him cracking a smile despite the stress he was currently under. He had chosen this life and he refused to be ashamed of it.

Clary reached the front of the runway, curtsied with a light giggle, and opened her mouth to speak just as the thunder of applause died down. A golden hue illuminated her from behind, and Alec could see various members of the audience gaping at his best friend.

“Good evening, everyone,” the redhead started, the smile evident in her voice even though Alec couldn’t see it from his position. “Thank you all for coming tonight and thank you for showing support for our latest collection even before its release. We at Lightwood Fashions are delighted to finally be able to present what we view as our greatest accomplishment to date. We hope for this spring collection to be the beginning of a new leaf for our brand and couldn’t be prouder of the pieces we will be showcasing today.”

Her speech sounded scripted – her speech was scripted – but Alec could hear the pride and joy in Clary’s voice as she spoke. She may have been working on her words for weeks, but Alec knew they still meant as much to her now as they did when she first put them down on paper.

“In honour of this new leaf, my co-designer and myself have decided to rename our own personal brand, or more specifically to correct your assumptions about our brand,” Clary continued seamlessly, glancing behind her and smiling when their brand’s logo – a simple L intertwined with an F – appeared behind her. Everyone had always assumed the letters stood for Lightwood Fashions, but Alec could have never done his best friend so dirty; “We present to you today, after a brief note from my co-designer, the Lightwood-Fray 2021 spring collection.”

There was a moment of silence as the audience members turned towards each other with considering and calculating eyes, but enthusiastic clapping broke out as Clary grinned brightly before moving towards the runway’s entrance, heading straight for Alec and Maryse.

As she approached them, Alec realised what her exit meant and almost broke into a bout of hysteria right then and there. He wouldn’t be appearing on stage for another hour or so at least, since he had decided to wait until the end of the show to actually step out, but he had also…

“Good evening,” his recorded voice rang out in the show room, startling a few attendees as they looked around for the source of the sound. “By now, I’m sure Clary has told you all about what the collection means for our company and for our brand. However, before the show can start, I thought it would be important for all of you to understand what it means to us, as individuals.”

Alec could have heard a needle drop in the complete silence that followed the start of his speech, and only Clary’s hand squeezing his fingers tightly stopped him from panicking about the entire plan. She had promised him it would go fine; the silence was just a result of the audience’s shock, not of their horror. It was just shock, and he couldn’t even blame them. After all, he had been trying to shock them.

“It’s no secret that, at times, designers and artists find a muse,” recorded-Alec continued, sounding far more smooth than real-Alec could have managed at that moment. Thank god for Clary and her wonderful idea to let him work up to an on-stage speech. “For the first time in our lives, Clary and I have both found that person who inspires us to try more things, to expand our horizons, to be more. The spring collection is an ode to a new page in our careers, but it’s also the physical demonstration of the love we have been given.”

In the end, it had been impossible for Alec to cut Magnus out of the picture, no matter how afraid he was of rejection and mockery. He hadn’t been lying when he had told Magnus that he was his muse, and he would be damned if he didn’t give the other man the credit he deserved.

Besides, just because the two of them were no longer together didn’t mean Alec couldn’t still love him. Angel, did he love him.

“The first time Clary met her muse, she hated her,” the recording went on, sounding amused and light as Alec always did when he thought about Clary and his sister. “But through it all, the two of them have always meant something to each other, and now they mean more to each other than ever. It was all too easy for her to design half a collection solely for the woman she loves, be it through magnificent designs or shapes or fabrics or colour suggestions.”

Next to him, Clary smiled shakily, looking towards the models’ changing room doors with tears of joy in her eyes. Alec knew that, had she been given the choice, Isabelle would have been right there with them, probably crying over the words Alec had spoken for Clary. Before he could so much as hug his best friend, however, his voice rose again and he scrunched his eyes closed as tightly as he could manage.

“The first time I met my muse, I thought he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen,” Alec’s voice said softly. Alec wondered if his love for Magnus was as obvious to everyone else as it was to him. “Hell, I still do. He shines brighter than anyone I’ve ever met, and I painted him onto every outfit we created, even though nothing could match his magnificence. He’s the reason behind all the colours I added to this collection; he’s the person who gave me the courage to truly step out of my comfort zone.”

He wondered how Magnus would take the entire speech. Would he disregard it and follow Alec’s earlier instructions of leaving him alone? Or would he understand that this was the only way Alec could express his feelings without feeling like he was drowning? This was the closest thing to a love confession Magnus would get, and if he still didn’t want to talk to Alec after this… Well, Alec wasn’t going to fight forever.

Next to him, Clary smiled gently and knocked their shoulders together in a silent show of support. Alec had never loved her more.

“This collection is as much a matter of fashion as it is a matter of the heart, and I hope it’ll show in the final product,” recording-Alec concluded, sounding as nervous and excited as Alec currently felt. “Thank you for coming on this journey with us tonight, and I hope you enjoy the view.”

The audio cut off, and the room burst into a wave of whispers as the audience connected the voice to Alec’s. He wondered if they knew what it meant or if some of them were still fooling themselves into believing Alec was nothing more than a substitute speaker.

The dim lights turned off completely, and Alec completely forgot about the attendees’ reactions to his little speech. He would have plenty of time to worry about that later, when he was fielding off questions and handsy reporters. For now, his newly found fame and identity were the least of his worries.

He hadn’t been kidding when he had announced that this collection was as much about fashion as it was about the heart – about love. He may not have designed all the clothes in it, and he may have had Clary’s help and council on every single piece, but it didn’t make it any less valuable. He and his best friend had poured their entire souls into the final show, and he would be damned if he didn’t watch every single second of it.

“I have to go,” Clary whispered as the models moved around to their left, getting ready to step onto the runway and do the one thing they had been preparing to do for months. “I know you wanted us to watch the show together, but the models needed my help with something and I promised I wouldn’t disappoint them.”

Alec frowned, wondering what on earth could justify his best friend’s sudden disappearing act, but he knew better than to ask. If Clary had wanted him to know more than the basic facts, she would have told him. Besides, there was a good chance that when she said models, she meant Magnus, and Alec really wasn’t ready to face the man quite yet.

“You’ll be back for the end of the show, right?” Alec frowned, thinking about the plan they had put in place. “Because there’s no way I’m going out there without my co-designer. We’re in this together, Fray, and I will fight you if you try to run away.”

“Why run away?” Clary smiled. “I have nothing to be afraid of. But yes, I promise I’ll be back for the end of the show. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, and my deal with the models should end before we make our grand entrance. Or is it a grand exit? Either way, I’ll be there.”

“Perfect,” Alec nodded. “Then off you go. I’ll be joining the fashion team in a second, I just want to make sure the beginning of the show goes off without a hitch.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Clary waved his statement away. “Seriously, they have it under control. We didn’t want to say anything in case we needed you last minute, but everyone agreed that you should enjoy the show instead of having to work again. I know a part of you wants to join the team to make sure everything is going off without a hitch but trust me on this. You’ll want to see what comes next.”

Once again, Alec didn’t question his best friend’s words. He did want to join the rest of the team, but he wanted to see what Clary was helping them with even more. So as she walked away, he dutifully stayed in his ideal viewing spot and shuffled nervously from foot to foot, wondering what on earth was about to happen.

Before he could worry or wonder too much, a single spotlight was pointed straight at Clary, who had somehow made it to the side of the runway and was grinning brightly at the crowd. Clearly, whatever the models had needed wasn’t a bad thing. Clary was many things, but able to cover up her emotions wasn’t one of them.

Then she spoke, and Alec’s mind went blank.

***

In front of Magnus, Emily and Andrew took a deep breath, letting their remaining tension melt from their shoulders. Next to him, Isabelle smiled reassuringly and smoothed her clothes over one last time.

She looked beautiful in her almost-sheer flowery blouse and ripped jeans, and although Magnus knew the audience was mostly there for the high-end part of the collection, he was certain the general public would love the more casual side of the collection. Clary and Alec had truly outdone themselves, creating something affordable for people to enjoy, and Magnus couldn’t have been prouder to represent their brand.

“So these are the colours you think of when you think about the beginning of yours and Alec’s relationship, huh?” Isabelle asked him quietly, gesturing at their little group of models. The ten of them were dressed in warm hues, from oranges to dark yellows to burnt pinks, and Magnus wondered if Alec’s colours resonated as deeply with everyone else as they did with him.

Probably not, but perhaps that was the point.

“I think about every colour when I think of Alec,” Magnus shrugged, the rainbow and white outfit flashing in his mind, “but these ones do remind me of first meetings and longing and all those wonderful things one feels at the beginning of a relationship.”

“Can’t relate,” Isabelle chuckled, winking at Magnus as she gestured towards Clary.

The redhead had made it to the side of the runway, and Magnus could barely contain his impatience. She knew what she had to do, and he had complete faith in her ability to make sure everything went off without a hitch, but a part of him still itched to check up with her one more time.

Before he could so much as move, however, a spotlight was directed towards the back of the runway, right where Kaelie and Meliorn were waiting, and Magnus knew it was too late. The show was about to begin, and the most he could do now was wait and be the perfect model the fashion team had trained him to be.

“Naming collections has never been me and my partner’s strong suit,” Clary started, chuckling along with the crowd. It was no secret that the designers’ one and only attempt at naming their creations hadn’t gone well, hence why they had stuck to nameless collections up until that point. “Thankfully, a good friend of mine has incredible insight on this collection’s meaning and was able to name these outfits to perfection.”

Magnus’ breath hitched as he looked around at his fellow models. His colleagues and friends were looking at him proudly, expectantly, and Magnus let their confidence fill his heart and mind. They believed in him, so there was no reason for this to go wrong.

“This spring collection is, in many ways, a story,” Clary continued, her scripted words sounding more genuine than anything Magnus could have achieved. “And as many stories are, this one is about love. I won’t go into detail with all of you, but I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean once you see these designs. For now, please enjoy the beginning of our show with our first series of casual-wear designs, Quite Magical.”

Isabelle smiled approvingly and nudged Magnus’ side before schooling her features and straightening up, her gaze never straying from Emily’s back. Magnus quickly copied her and let the model mentality his friends had taught him about take over his movements.

By the time it was his and Isabelle’s turn to step out – they were the last of the group – Magnus felt sure enough that he wouldn’t collapse as soon as he walked into the light. The audience seemed to be enjoying the first round of outfits, Clary was biting down on her bottom lip to keep in a grin, and Magnus couldn’t mess any of this up.

He couldn’t remember a single second of his first walk down the runway. He knew he had done a good job, since that was the only thing Isabelle had told him before racing to get her second outfit on, but his mind had seemingly decided to black the entire experience out when he tried to recall the walk.

Thankfully, he really didn’t have the time to over-analyse what had just happened, since he was already stripping out of his clothes and stepping into his next pant-shirt combo. He had to walk out in casual, flowery outfits three times before moving onto the part of the show he was most looking forward to, and he couldn’t help but hope that time could move slightly faster.

No matter how eager he was, however, he made sure that his performance remained impeccable and professional every time he stepped onto the runway. He didn’t falter, didn’t let his eyes stray to where they definitely wanted to go, and kept a polite and charming smile plastered on his face every time the cameras went off.

By the time the haute couture outfits were up, Magnus didn’t even have to fake his smile. He loved his job as an editor and wouldn’t give it up for the world, but he had to admit there was a certain thrill about going on stage and showing off outfit after outfit to the audience. Now he understood why Isabelle kept up her hectic schedule year-round; for an experience like that, Magnus would easily give up on a proper night’s sleep.

He slipped into his peacock-like outfit with a grin splitting his features. This was one of his favourite outfits, the greens and blues and golds clearly meant for him, and he had been dying to see the audience’s reactions to it – as well as to Isabelle’s peacock dress.

Clary announced the beginning of their Cryptic and Coy outfits, and Magnus got back in position behind Andrew again. Beside him, Isabelle looked radiant and confident in her long, sleeveless gown, and Magnus had to bite back a burst of delighted laughter as they stepped onto the stage.

The attendees turned to stare at Isabelle and him appreciatively, and Magnus wondered if they had any idea what they were looking at. He wondered if they understood how many meaningful glances Alec and he had exchanged, wondered if they saw them in the colours Magnus was draped in, wondered if any of them could see the memories of their first date Alec had hidden in the shirt’s layers.

They probably couldn’t, just as they probably couldn’t recognise their first kiss in the purples and golds Magnus wore when Clary announced the Lose Control series. There was no way any of the audience members could tell how much desire and longing were represented in those colours, but Magnus didn’t care. He didn’t care, because they were smiling and clapping, and he knew what the colours meant.

“Magnus!” Madzie called out as he stepped off the runway for his third-to-last outfit.

She looked beautiful, dressed in a miniature version of the dress Clary had designed for Isabelle. The blues and golds made her skin and eyes stand out, and Magnus couldn’t help but hope she would be allowed to keep it after the show. He was sure she would love nothing more than to wear such a pretty dress to costume parties.

“Mom says I look like a princess,” she giggled, taking his hand and bouncing on her heels excitedly. Magnus let go of her hand and went behind the curtain reserved for his quick changes. He took off his previous outfit – a mostly-open shirt painted in silvers and blues – and quickly changed into the much more formal blue and gold suit Alec had designed after their date at the pier. “But I told her I wasn’t a princess at all. Do you think she should get her eyes checked? That’s what she always tells me when I say something stupid.”

Magnus chuckled at his goddaughter’s antics and shook his head fondly at her as one of the hairstylists fidgeted with his hair before shooing both him and Madzie back towards the runway.

“I think your mother just needs to learn more about the difference between princesses and other magical, beautiful ladies,” Magnus whispered as he nodded at Isabelle. She would be stepping out a little before them so they didn’t risk anything with Madzie on stage, but she still took the time to coo at Madzie’s dress. “And I’m sure that the Sorcery theme tipped her off as to what you really are.”

“Alec’s favourite sorceress!” The little girl grinned, obediently settling down when Magnus shushed her and tightened his grip on her hand before leading them out and onto the stage.

The crowd went utterly silent for a second before bursting into ‘aw’s and ‘ooh’s at Madzie’s appearance. The little girl looked around shyly for a few moments before catching up to Magnus’ quicker strides and smiling prettily at the audience members. She even started waving at someone to their left as they made their way to the end of the runway, which Magnus found odd for all of thirty seconds before he noticed who she had been gesturing at.

As he walked back to the back on the runway, his gaze crossed Alec’s. The man had been standing behind the curtains when the show had started, of that Magnus was sure, but now… Now he was sitting in the front row with his mother to his left and Jace to his right. He looked like he couldn’t remember how to breathe, staring at Madzie and Magnus with wide, impressed eyes, and Magnus felt weak in the knees.

He barely made it back to the changing rooms, and he was almost convinced Madzie had had to drag him for the last few feet. The only reason he snapped out of his daze was because he knew the next two outfits were the most important ones, both for the show and for him. He couldn’t mess it up when he was so close to the finish line.

“Alec gave me a thumb’s up, Magnus!” Madzie giggled happily as Magnus took off his suit and exchanged it for another, this one red and black and decorated in a thousand little jewels. “That means I did good, right?”

“It means you did great, little sorceress,” Magnus grinned back at her, swallowing down his nervousness as he remembered what, exactly, he had named this particular series of red and pink clothes. Perhaps he should have thought it over some more before giving the list to Clary for approval. “I’m sure Alec will find you and congratulate you for your performance later. You could be a great model someday.”

“I don’t want to be a model,” the little girl shrugged. “But you’re an amazing model, Uncle Magnus. Mom thinks so, and I think so, and I think Alec thinks so too. He was looking at you the same way you always look at him, which means he must love you, right?”

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” Magnus answered diplomatically, not wanting to get in an argument with Madzie about love when he needed to be back on the runway in less than five minutes.

Clary was already announcing Aku Cinta Kamu, technically the last series of outfits in the collection, which meant Kaelie and Meliorn were about to step on stage. It also meant Magnus had to get the hell back to Isabelle before the brunette tore him a new one.

“I’m trusting you with her,” he told his hairstylist, pointing at Madzie. “Her mother should be around in less than three minutes, but I need to get going now. I love you, sweet pea, and you were wonderful out there. I’ll see you later, alright?”

“Alright!” Madzie smiled, waving at him as he rushed back to the runway and took his rightful spot next to Isabelle, who raised his eyebrows at him, looking decidedly unimpressed.

“Cutting it short for the ones that matter, I see,” she snarked, snapping her mouth shut as Lydia gestured for Emily and Andrew to step out. “But for the record, who even knows what Aku Cinta Kamu means?”

Lydia shushed them before Magnus could answer, so he ignored his friend’s question and focused on the runway instead, wondering if Alec had ever gone through and found out more about Magnus’ language. He had said he would, but they hadn’t been together very long and there was a good chance the designer had been joking around to begin with.

However, as he walked down the runway with Isabelle a few steps ahead of him and let his gaze stray to Alexander, he knew the man had done exactly what he said he would. There were tears in his eyes and he was looking at Magnus like he couldn’t quite believe that he was real.

As though Magnus had been the one to design an entire collection after him and publicly call him his muse. As though Magnus telling him he loved him mattered even more than that. Magnus still couldn’t quite believe he had someone as extraordinary as Alec in his life, and he was finding it even harder to believe that Alec thought he was the extraordinary one.

He couldn’t remember anything from his walk down the runway other than Alec’s eyes on him, steady and warm and as beautiful as when Magnus had first seen them. He wasn’t sure how he had managed to tear his gaze away from the designer long enough to smile for the cameras, but he was pretty sure he deserved an award for that.

By the time he made it back to his changing room to put on his final – and most important outfit – he was shaking with nerves. Alec’s awed smile and teary-eyed gaze seemed to point at a happy ending for the both of them, but he couldn’t be sure yet. He couldn’t get his hopes up before he got a clear answer, so he would go through with the end of his plan and pray.

Isabelle appeared behind him, dressed in her magnificent white dress covered in a rainbow of sparkling reflections, and Magnus breathed in deeply.

He could do this.

***

Alec was frozen in his seat, unable to do more than stare dumbly at the runway as his sister stepped out in the beautiful dress Clary had designed for her – with minimal help from Alec.

He was still reeling from the previous outfits, a whisper Aku Cinta Kamu looping in his mind and making his heart beat faster than ever. He had known, of course, that Magnus loved him. He had known that the other man wouldn’t change his mind in less than a month, just as Alec hadn’t been able to change his. Love had never been the issue, not for Alec.

He realised now that love should have been the only issue. He shouldn’t have cared about the secrets or the white lies or the mistakes, because he loved Magnus and Magnus – for some inconceivable reason – loved him back. That should have been enough from the very start.

If watching Magnus walk down that runway in that outfit had taught Alec anything, it was that Magnus had always been enough. After all, why else would Alec have designed that outfit as soon as he had realised he was falling for the other man? Why else would he have missed the journalist so much over the past few weeks? Why else would he have found it impossible to look away from Magnus?

Even now, as his sister smiled for the cameras and displayed one of his favourite dresses for the world to see, he couldn’t think of anything but Magnus. He wondered if he had given this last outfit a name too, or if he – just like Alec – thought the white ensemble couldn’t be translated into words. And more than anything, he wondered if this entire affair meant what Alec thought it did.

Maybe he hadn’t been the only one with a plan for the night. Good thing for Magnus, it seemed like their plans aligned quite well with one another.

His thoughts came to a screeching halt as Isabelle stepped off the runway and a single spotlight appeared right where the models came out. Even knowing what was going to come next, even having seen Magnus in the outfit before, Alec still lost his breath when the man he loved walked onto the runway looking more beautiful than ever.

The last time Alec had seen Magnus in the white outfit, he had been too busy with Clary and Izzy’s love life as well as his own heartbreak to focus on how well it suited Magnus. Now, though… Magnus swayed down the runway, a small smile curling at his lips as he glanced over at Alec, and the designer wondered if it was possible to fall in love with someone twice.

Magnus glistened in the spotlight, his white shirt gleaming brightly in a rainbow of colours as he twirled around for the audience. Alec had always thought of Magnus as the sun, all golden skin and golden eyes and golden heart. Staring at him now, though, he couldn’t help but wonder if Magnus had been an angel in disguise all along.

He looked stunning in white, and Alec vowed to design him a hundred other outfits like this one. He wanted to admire Magnus under every light, in every room of their studio and from every angle of his bed. He wanted to see the sparkling shirt torn open and exposing Magnus’ bare chest. He wasn’t sure why he had chosen to design this outfit, couldn’t remember when he had decided to make it the final and central piece of the collection, but he knew he couldn’t have made a better choice.

Magnus reached the end of the runway and stopped completely, wringing his hands behind his back in a way that made Alec sit up in anticipation. He knew Magnus, and he knew the other man only ever fidgeted when he was about to do something out of the ordinary.

Rattling Magnus’ nerves wasn’t an easy feat, which meant that whatever he had in mind went against all of his instincts. Alec could relate. After all, he was almost certain Magnus was about to give a speech that would bring Alec to tears, and the designer had a similar one planned as soon as the models were done with their part of the show.

The reminder of what Alec was going to have to do threatened to choke him with a wave of anxiety, but he pushed it back down and focused on Magnus instead. If Magnus could do this – whatever this was – then so could Alec.

The music stopped, Clary left her spot besides the runway to disappear in the background, and Magnus opened his mouth. The crowd held its collective breath, and Alec shifted in his seat.

“Good evening, everyone,” Magnus started, echoing Clary’s and Alec’s words from earlier. He sounded sure of himself, although Alec could see the way his fingertips trembled slightly. “I know it isn’t conventional for a model to take centre stage and steal the limelight from the wonderful designers who created the collection, but I’m afraid you’re all going to have to bear with me for a few minutes.”

A few chuckles echoed around the room, and Alec was pleased to find that no one tried to complain about Magnus’ little interruption. He would have quickly shut them down as the fashion show’s organiser if it had happened, but he was glad that everyone was behaving – for now.

“For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Magnus Bane,” the model continued, looking surer of himself by the second. “I’m the Head Editor over at Lightwood Media, but I currently work as a model for what I believe is the greatest collection this country has seen all year, if not more than that. The Lightwood-Fray fashion team is one of the best teams I have ever worked for, and I have never been more grateful to be a part of something.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec could spot the fashion team – Clary included – peeking around the corner of the runway with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. Even Isabelle, who Alec assumed had helped Magnus organise his plan, seemed to be biting back a sob.

“I’m also the one who helped the lovely Clarissa Fray come up with names for this wonderful collection. They might have been a little bit sappy, but I won’t apologise for the reason behind all these names,” Magnus said, his voice wobbling as his gaze briefly skipped to Alec. “Because no matter how great working with the team has been, nothing could ever compare to what I feel for Alexander Lightwood. You may only know him as the company’s CEO, may think he’s a little bit dull or arrogant or self-centred, but the truth is…”

He cut himself off then, fully angling his body towards Alec and abandoning all pretence of speaking to the rest of the crowd. Hopefully, they would take the grand gesture for what it was and not interrupt Magnus, because Alec really wanted to know where this was going.

He had an idea, of course, but he needed to hear Magnus say it, and he needed to hear him say it now, preferably.

“The truth is, Alexander is one of the most amazing people I have ever met,” Magnus murmured, his voice crystal clear in contrast to the rest of the room’s complete silence. “He may be a little rough on the outside, but aren’t we all? He’s far from perfect, but I have never met anyone who cares as much as Alec does about the people around him. I’ve never met anyone who can command a room without coming off as rude or selfish as well as he can. I’ve never met anyone so talented, beautiful, and worthy of love.”

Alec could feel tears rolling down his cheeks, but he didn’t even try to wipe them away. He had been dreaming of someone loving him enough to announce it to the rest of the world ever since he was a child and there Magnus was, fulfilling his dreams once again. Alec felt his heart swell more and more by the second, overwhelmed by his feelings for Magnus and the feelings Magnus seemed to have for him.

God, he loved this man. And he was going to make sure Magnus knew exactly how much Alec loved him as soon as he was given the chance to speak. He wouldn’t stand to see Magnus cry because of him for a single second more.

“So Alexander, know this,” Magnus added, seemingly fighting back tears of his own. “I may have loved your colours far before I loved you, darling, but I love you more than anything in the world. You are the most incredible man I have ever met, and I will never be able to properly express how sorry I am for ever hurting you. You deserve the world and, since I couldn’t give you that, I settled for second best. This show is a piece of your world, Alexander, and I hope you know how much I cherish it. How much I cherish you.”

As far as love confessions went, Alec wasn’t sure he had ever heard anything that could rival Magnus’ words. He knew he was biased and that his best friend would probably argue that Isabelle’s declaration had been just as beautiful, but Alec would have to politely disagree.

Magnus was still staring at him intently, his eyes shining brighter than his glimmering outfit, and Alec smiled through his tears. He knew it wasn’t nearly enough to make Magnus understand how much his words meant to Alec, but it was a start. The rest would have to wait a few minutes.

Thankfully, it seemed like Magnus got the message, because he nodded minutely before turning back towards the rest of the audience and executing an elegant and shallow bow.

“Thank you,” he said, before grinning mischievously and winking at the group of photographs. “Hopefully that was enough time for you to get the pictures you needed. Unsurprisingly, this is by far my favourite outfit of the bunch. And now I’ll let our wonderful designers finish their show the way they had planned.”

He sauntered away to a thunder of applause and confused murmurs, and Alec could feel more than a few stares aimed in his direction. He knew they were probably expecting him to run to Magnus but, as much as Alec wanted to do that, he did have a show to finish.

So instead of doing what he so desperately wanted to, he hurried to find Clary in the staff area, fumbling with his suit jacket as he walked. He had told himself he would get ready for his first official appearance as a co-designer during Isabelle and Magnus’ last performance, but he had been too transfixed to even remember that he had to go through an outfit change.

He got ready in record time, putting on the clothes Clary had designed for him and hoping the dress he had designed for her would match his outfit as perfectly as he’d hoped.

“Alec! There you are!” Clary exclaimed, looking Alec up and down a few times before nodding approvingly. “We need to be on stage in less than three minutes. Lydia managed to stall for us by answering a few exclusive questions, but we need to get on there as soon as possible. Are you ready to blow Magnus’ speech out of the water by making our own perfect confession?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Alec swallowed nervously. His hands felt sweaty and he knew he was trembling all over, but he refused to back out of this. “Let’s get this over with.”

“And remember,” Clary said softly, placing her hands on his shoulders and fixing him with a piercing glance. “This isn’t about Magnus. This isn’t about the audience. This isn’t about me. It’s about…”

“Me,” he completed for her. “I know.”

He hadn’t been sure, at first, but he knew Clary was right. He wasn’t revealing his secret to the world because he felt like he had to, or because he thought it would make Magnus love him more. He was doing it because he had been hiding for far too long, and he was sick of lying about his life.

He was proud of what he had accomplished, and he wouldn’t let fear get in the way of that. His mother believed in him, Clary believed in him, the fashion team believed in him… Hell, even Magnus believed in him. And more importantly, Alec was starting to believe in himself. He should have stopped letting other people’s expectations get in the way of his happiness years earlier, but better late than never.

With one more nod aimed mostly at himself, he took Clary’s hand in his and smiled at his best friend, feeling stronger now that she was next to him. They had been working on this for months, it would be fine.

Lydia stepped behind the curtain, and Alec led Clary out to a thunderous round of applause.

***

If there was one thing Magnus thought he had known about Alexander, it was that the man was the perfect epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. He had always had that look about him that had made Magnus swoon and honestly, the model hadn’t thought it could get any better.

Although Alec was still tall and handsome as he stepped onto the runway, fingers linked with Clary’s, Magnus was suddenly hit with the thought that he had been missing out on a big part of his boyfriend’s – ex-boyfriend’s – life. Dressed in clothes clearly designed by Clary and Alec themselves, light seemed to seep from Alexander’s very being.

His outfit was nowhere near as bright or flashy as Magnus’, and yet Magnus was almost certain he had never seen anyone shine so beautifully. His Alexander was draped in a thousand shades of blue sown together in a way that shouldn’t have worked but did, and threads of gold glimmered in the room’s artificial light, the perfect glimmering match to Magnus’ ensemble.

He knew that, were he to step onto that stage, Alec and he would clash horribly, and yet… yet he thought that in a way, they would look stunning. He hadn’t been lying when he had said that he loved Alexander for more than his colours, and he would ruin his own image a hundred times over if it meant he got to stand next to the man he loved.

He barely had the time to notice Clary’s emerald and gold dress before the pair of designers reached the end of the runway and visibly breathed in deeply, smiling as the crowd continued cheering them on. Magnus wondered, right then, how many people had already understood the significance behind Alec’s opening speech. He wondered how many of them had caught the clues in his own words. He wondered if they knew who they were clapping for.

And if so, he wondered why they weren’t clapping harder. Magnus wasn’t sure any amount of praise or recognition would ever live up to what Clary and Alec had created, but they could damn well try to give them at least a fragment of what they deserved.

“Thank you,” Clary started, grinning at the audience and catching Magnus’ gaze momentarily, seemingly unsurprised to find him in the crowd rather than backstage. “Thank you for coming and thank you for being patient and respectful throughout this evening. I know our show has had some… unconventional elements added to it, and I’m sure you’ll be glad to know it isn’t over yet.”

She glanced at Alec then, letting go of her best friend’s hand and taking a step to the side, leaving Alec alone in the limelight. She looked so proud, and Magnus wondered how hard it had been for her to have to hide her best friend from the public eye all along. Isabelle had seemed to think that Clary didn’t understand why it was important for Alec to reveal himself, but Magnus thought the brunette had it all wrong.

Clary stared at her best friend like her dreams were finally all coming true, like she had never been happier in her life. Her hands were loose at her sides, there was a small smile curling at her lips, and Magnus knew she had been waiting for this moment to arrive all along.

As confused as he had been at first, he now understood that Alec and his colours just… made sense. They worked in a way that Magnus couldn’t quite explain, and he couldn’t be happier that the man he loved had people at his side every step of the way.

“Good evening, everyone,” Alec started, cringing as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Magnus chuckled lightly, biting down on his bottom lip when the woman next to him sent him a sharp and reprimanding look. “I suppose I should say good evening again. I hope you all had a wonderful time tonight, and that you’ll consider investing in a few Lightwood-Fray pieces once they are released to the general public.”

He sounded nervous, and Magnus wanted nothing more than to wrap Alec up in his arms and never let him go. He wanted to tell him it would be alright, that he didn’t have to worry, that Magnus would be there no matter what everyone else thought.

Unfortunately, he knew going up on stage wasn’t an option, especially not given how much time he had already spent there, pouring his feelings for Alexander out into the world. But Alec was strong; if he had made it this far, Magnus knew he wouldn’t break. He would get everything off his chest and Magnus couldn’t wait to see it happen, couldn’t wait to take in everyone else’s reactions.

“Most of you know me as Lightwood Fashions’ CEO,” Alec said quietly, his voice ringing clearer than ever in the completely silent room. “And I am. I was always meant to take over one of my parents’ companies and, although most people expected me to take after my mother, here we are today. I know what the rumours are, you know? I’ve heard it all. I know I’m too dull for a fashion company, that it would have been better for Isabelle to take over, or that I’ll never be the icon everyone wants me to be. But I also know- I know that’s not all I am.”

Finally, finally, his eyes drifted to Magnus’, almost as though he couldn’t quite help himself. He looked lost and confused but so, so determined, and Magnus had never loved him more. Whatever Alexander had been looking for when his gaze had strayed to Magnus, he found it in less than ten seconds, breathing in deeply before speaking again.

The whole room was holding their breath, and the inner journalist in Magnus wanted nothing more than to be taking notes like the other reporters in attendance. But Alexander didn’t need Magnus the Head Editor at the moment; he needed Magnus, the man who was madly in love with him.

So, Magnus shoved his hands into his pockets and didn’t let his eyes leave Alec’s beautiful silhouette for a single second.

“When I took over for my father, no one thought I would last the week,” Alec continued, his eyes glazing over as he lost himself in memories. “I hadn’t even graduated from college, I didn’t have any interest in fashion, and I was too inexperienced. I heard the same questions over and over again; you’re too young, you don’t know what you’re doing, why would you even choose fashion? Frankly, I don’t blame any of you. If I had been in your place, I would have wondered the same things.”

But he hadn’t been in their place. He had always known fashion was where he belonged, and Magnus marvelled at the strength it must have taken the CEO to ignore everyone’s opinions and focus on himself instead. In his place, Magnus wasn’t sure he would have lasted a week.

“What you didn’t know back then, what no one knew – not even my own mother – was that I had already started studying fashion,” Alec added.

Magnus sat up in his seat as he realised what Alec was doing, what he was giving them. This wasn’t just him announcing his position to the world; this was him telling them about all the moments in his life that had made him into the man he was today.

“Clary and I met in college when both of us were struggling to find a connection to the courses we had picked. She was studying art but didn’t think it was exactly right for her, and I felt like my business plans weren’t what I had always dreamed of having. We found each other in the middle of madness and haven’t let go of each other since. I’m the one who signed us up to take a basic fashion class, but she’s the one who pushed me to keep going. Even back then, we were a team.”

Magnus wasn’t sure when he had started crying, but he supposed it was around the same time Clary had let out a quiet sob before stepping off stage, clearly struggling to keep her emotions in check. She had run straight into Isabelle’s arms, and Magnus felt another pang of longing shoot through his chest as he thought about doing the same thing for Alec.

“We’ve never stopped being a team since then,” Alec went on, his voice trembling and tears shining in his eyes as his words stumbled past his lips. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, I was Clary’s co-designer all along. We’ve been working on designs together since long before we joined the company, and I’m sure we’ll be doing it even once we’re old and grey and barely able to speak. So to all the people who thought I was too closed off or not honest enough, know that I’ve been sharing my colours with you for half a decade, and those colours mean the world to me.”

For a second, Magnus wondered if his speech had come to an end. He raised his hands to start clapping but stopped when Alec shook his head minutely, opening and closing his mouth a few times as though he were struggling to find the right words. Magnus wasn’t sure what Alexander wanted to add to his beautiful declaration, but he had a feeling it was even more important to the designer than his big reveal.

Alec’s eyes pierced through his soul, and Magnus held his breath.

“This part wasn’t planned, so bear with me,” Alec smiled crookedly, getting a few chuckles out of the audience. “However, I would be a fool not to say anything to the man who stood up here and gave me the romantic gesture of a lifetime. Magnus Bane is the most incredible man I have ever met and, no matter how many mistakes he’s made, I will never – never – cease to love him.”

Honestly, Magnus should have known better than to expect Alec to respond to his love declaration in private. He had known, going into this, that Alexander was the biggest romantic he had ever met, and he should have expected the designer to do something just as grand as what Magnus had done for him. Damned Lightwoods and their perfect minds.

“Magnus is the only muse I have ever had and, if I have it my way, he’ll be my muse forever,” Alec breathed out.

Magnus wasn’t even sure how he was hearing him above all the frantic whispers of the other audience members. Maybe he had just grown attuned to his boyfriend’s voice, or maybe he had just learned how to forget about everyone else when Alexander was nearby.

“He has made me the luckiest man alive by being part of my life, and I will never regret hiring him as our model. He has shown me that the world can be so much more than an office and an apartment, and I hope he knows that without him… Without him, this moment would have never happened. You give me courage, Magnus. You make me brave and bold and for that I will be forever grateful. Maybe dedicating an entire collection to you so early on in our relationship was a reckless idea, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

Magnus knew they were making a spectacle of themselves, declaring their feelings for each other in front of an entire crowd, but he thought maybe that was what love was really about. Maybe love was about pushing their own boundaries and letting go of their fears just to prove that they cared for each other. It was terrifying – and Magnus would know, since he had been in Alec’s place less than twenty minutes earlier – but it was also mind-blowingly easy.

Because if there was one thing Magnus knew about his relationship with Alexander, it was that it mattered more than anything anyone might have to say about them.

“So, Magnus Bane, you may cherish me, but I…” Alec stumbled on his words, staring straight at Magnus and shaking his head slowly, as though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what he was trying to say. “I treasure you, because you are the most precious thing in my life. So thank you for loving my colours and thank you for loving me. I just hope I can give you even a morsel of what you’ve given me.”

Magnus let out a sob, and the crowd seemed to take it as a sign to start clapping. They cheered and whistled and patted Magnus on the back as though they knew exactly what he was going through, but Magnus only had eyes for his Alexander.

“Thank you for listening, and thank you again for coming to the show,” Alec concluded his little speech. “I know this isn’t exactly the conclusion you were all imagining, but I hope it didn’t ruin the experience for any of you. All questions about the collection should be directed to Lydia Branwell and Clary Fray for the rest of the night. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening.”

As soon as he stepped off the runway, the audience dissolved into a true ocean of chaos, and Magnus knew there was no chance he and Alec were going to have a real conversation in the midst of all the noise. He nodded at Isabelle and Clary briefly, tilting his head towards the staff area, and waited for a sign of their acknowledgement before slipping away from the rest of the crowd.

He was sure the after-show would be nice, but he had a man to find and kiss until neither of them could breathe. The rest of the world could wait.

***

“I’m sorry.”

Alec spun around faster than ever, letting his trembling fingers fall from his suit jacket as his gaze met Magnus’. The other man was still dressed in his white outfit, looking unfairly beautiful, and Alec shuffled uncomfortably as he tried - and failed - to resist the urge to reach out for Magnus.

He had his lips on Magnus’ less than a second later, sighing contentedly at the familiar feeling. He couldn’t believe he had survived two weeks without it. He kissed Magnus like a starving man, sucking at the other man’s bottom lip in a silent gesture for him to open up, and he was ready, so ready to taste Magnus again, but-

“Hey, Alec, hey,” Magnus pushed him away gently and raised his hand to cover Alec’s mouth. “We can’t do this right now, not yet. I need to… I need to apologise first, alright?”

“You don’t have to-” he started, only to be interrupted by a sharp gesture from Magnus. He snapped his mouth shut and waited for the model to get whatever he needed to off his chest.

“I’m sorry for lying to you,” Magnus continued, stepping closer to Alec and clenching his hands at his side, almost as though staying away was just as hard for him as for Alec. “I’m sorry for keeping things from you, I’m sorry for thinking I couldn’t trust you with my past, and I’m sorry for throwing your own hidden truths back in your face. I know now- I mean- What you did tonight was amazing, and I’m sorry that I took part of it away from you. You deserved to have your moment.”

“And I did,” Alec cut in, hoping his words sounded as genuine as he had meant them to. “I got my moment, Magnus, and I would have gotten it whether you knew about my position earlier or not. The thing is, I was… I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Clary helped me realise that I couldn’t rely on you all the time, especially not for things that matter as much as this. I wasn’t lying when I said that you pushed me in the right direction, but I did this for myself more than anyone else.”

It had taken him a few days to come to peace with that, but as he stared at Magnus’ lips curl into a proud smile, he knew Clary had been right. He knew getting rid of the reveal just because things between him and Magnus hadn’t worked out would have been a ridiculous idea. Although, on that note…

“That was quite something you did out there,” Alec murmured, biting at his bottom lip as a dark blush overtook Magnus’ features. Alec wasn’t sure he had ever seen the other man so flustered, and he had to admit he didn’t dislike it in the slightest. “I know you’re not exactly a grand gesture kind of person when it comes to romance, so that must have been quite the experience.”

“In a way,” Magnus shrugged, staring intently at Alec. “But you’re a grand gesture kind of guy, so it was all worth the effort. You’re worth the effort, Alexander, no matter how big that effort may be.”

“Magnus…” Alec breathed out, glancing away from the model’s intense gaze and wondering what the protocol was for two people who still loved each other but were no longer together. Was there a proper method to getting back together? Were they supposed to say something? Was Alec supposed to…? “I’m sorry too.”

He blurted the words out before he could overthink his apology. He had worried about finding the right thing to say, but he knew Magnus would be perfectly content with the truth. They were done lying to each other, done changing themselves for the other. If they wanted this to work out, Alec’s apology needed to be completely sincere. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he huffed when Magnus frowned at him confusedly. “Don’t act like you’re the only one to blame here. I know you think you’re the only one who messed up that night, but I was just as wrong as you were, Magnus. I should never have made you feel like you had to tell me everything. Your lie was… it wasn’t the best idea, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as I made it out to be. So I’m sorry for pushing you away at the first sign of trouble.”

“I went behind your back to ask about Clary’s co-designer,” Magnus pointed out, as though he needed to remind Alec of all the things he had done wrong. As though Alec hadn’t thought about them repeatedly over the past few weeks. “To ask about you.”

“You regretted it almost immediately,” Alec countered, knowing both from Isabelle and Magnus himself that the man would have done anything to take his questions back. “Izzy wasn’t the only drunk one that night, and you… You regretted it as soon as she gave you the answer you’d been looking for. I’m not saying what you did was right, but I forgive you. I forgave her, after all. I was never going to stay mad at you, Magnus, I just needed…”

“Time?” Magnus finished for him, smiling knowingly at Alec. “Yeah, I get that. And thank you, for not holding this against me. I mean, I had a feeling that you weren’t angry with me anymore, given what just happened out there, but it’s nice to get confirmation.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, neither of them moving and both of them waiting for the other to do something first. Alec had a feeling they could have stayed like that for hours if it weren’t for his lingering anxiety. He just needed to be certain; he needed to make sure that Magnus had been telling the truth earlier. He needed the man he loved back in his arms.

“I still love you,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving Magnus’. “I don’t think I could have stopped loving you even if I had wanted to. Look, I know we screwed up, alright? I know we proved we’re just like any other couple, capable of fighting and arguing and getting mad at each other, but… But that can’t be reason enough to give up completely, right? I love you, Magnus, and shouldn’t that be enough to try again?”

“We’d have to communicate better,” Magnus started, closing the remaining distance between Alec and him easily.

This time, Alec didn’t hesitate before taking the journalist’s hands in his own, rubbing soothing circles into Magnus’ soft flesh. He let his fingers run up and down Magnus’ arms, let himself enjoy the feeling of Magnus so close to him again, let himself breathe for the first time in weeks.

“No more secrets,” Alec added. “None that matter, at least. If something’s bothering us, we need to talk about it instead of shutting it behind layers and layers of anxious feelings.”

“And most importantly,” Magnus continued, the smirk on his lips tipping Alec off as to the nature of his next request. “You need to keep dedicating entire collections to me. I may have gotten a little bit used to this lifestyle and amount of attention to detail, so I’m not sure I could go back to how things used to be before. If you want to keep me in your life, I’m going to need a lot more clothes.”

“Is that so?” Alec raised his eyebrows, tapping at his chin as though he were truly thinking Magnus’ demand over. “I’m not sure… You see, collections take a lot of work, and I don’t think I could create that many clothes in your honour. Besides, you’d probably just get bored of it all after a while.”

“Objection!” Magnus scoffed, gesturing down at himself with an incredulous stare. “How on earth could I get bored of this, Alexander? This is the proof that you love me enough to use me as your muse, and I’m honestly not sure I could do any better than you after this. You’ve ruined love for me, darling. From now on, I’m going to accept nothing less than grand gestures and artistic declarations of feelings.”

“Thankfully for you, I don’t intend on letting you go any time soon,” Alec hummed softly, letting go of Magnus’ hands and looping his arms around the model’s waist instead, pulling him in until their bodies were pressed together. “You’re going to be stuck with me and my ridiculous gestures of romance for quite a while, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about on that front.”

“You seem awfully sure of yourself,” Magnus breathed out, his words ghosting against Alec’s lips as he leaned in closer, their noses bumping together at the movement. “Who’s to say I want to be stuck with you? A man who paints our love into colours and lets go of his fears to make me happy? How dull.”

Alec pinched the other man’s side and shook his head fondly before giving in to the urge to kiss Magnus again. He covered Magnus’ mouth with his own and swallowed the model’s pleased gasp as their lips slotted together perfectly. God, Alec had missed this. He had missed curling his hands around Magnus and drawing tiny sounds out of the man he loved. He had missed feeling Magnus’ tongue slide against his slowly, turning the both of them into puddles of heat. And more than anything, he had missed Magnus.

Magnus and his perfect eyes, his golden skin that stood out starkly against Alec’s white sheets – or in this case, his sparkling outfit – and his hair’s brightly coloured tips. Magnus and his heart of gold, his sharp mind, and the endless compassion he seemed to have for the people around him. Magnus and the way he looked at Alec like he was the single most important thing in the world.

“I missed you so much,” Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips as they pulled away from each other, panting for air. “God, Alexander, I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, and we were only apart for two weeks. How on earth am I going to survive when you have to go abroad for work?”

“We’ll call each other,” Alec answered immediately, not even embarrassed to prove that he had been thinking about their relationship at length, both before and during their break-up. “Just because we’re not always next to each other doesn’t mean we’re not always together, Magnus. If lies weren’t enough to keep us apart, I doubt a country or two will be what ruins things for us. Besides, I only leave a few times a year and I could always take you with me.”

“I certainly wouldn’t say no to taking advantage of the perks having a CEO boyfriend could bring me,” Magnus smirked. Before Alec could say anything else, however, Magnus’ features fell slightly and his eyes filled with uncertainty. “You- You are my boyfriend again, right? I didn’t completely misread this situation, did I?”

“No, Magnus, you didn’t misread the situation,” Alec huffed, pressing a soft kiss to Magnus’ lips again. “Two weeks of being single were more than enough for me. I would be an idiot not to jump on the opportunity to be with you again. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I still love you, Magnus.”

“And I still love you too,” Magnus answered softly, resting his forehead against Alec’s and breathing in deeply. “Now, you should go out there and give the crowd what they really want. It would be bad publicity for the CEO and recently-revealed co-designer of the collection to hide away all night.”

“But I’d much rather be here with you,” Alec pouted, tightening his hold on Magnus when the model tried to step out of his arms. “Can’t they wait a day longer? I’ll still be around tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that…”

“So will I,” Magnus pointed out, snorting when Alec narrowed his eyes at him in the most betrayed manner he could manage. “Seriously, at least go spend time with the team. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to congratulate everyone on a job well done, and I can’t do that if we’re over here declaring our love for each other all over again. Don’t you think we’ve had enough romantic gestures for one evening?”

“There are never enough romantic gestures in the world,” Alec scoffed, but he didn’t protest when Magnus dragged him back out into the crowd, never letting go of the designer’s hand. “I’m still not talking to any journalists, though.”

“Oh, really?” Magnus chuckled, glancing down pointedly at himself. “I was under the impression you didn’t mind talking to me. Or Isabelle, for that matter.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Alec rolled his eyes. “You know exactly what I meant, so please take me to the rest of the team and keep the vultures away from me. I’m not in the mood to deal with interviews, especially not from people who are still reeling from my latest revelation.”

“So… everyone in this room?” Magnus asked slowly, snorting when Alec nodded. “Alright, darling, I will keep you away from everyone who doesn’t work for you. We’re only a few feet away anyways, so I doubt anyone will try to steal you away from me no- Hey, you! I’m sorry, but Alexander isn’t taking any questions or interviews tonight. No, he won’t make an exception for you. Not for you either, ma’am, I’m sorry.”

Alec laughed softly as Magnus sent him a helpless glance, desperately trying to get them through the thick crowd of people even as people tried to grab him left, right, and centre, all too eager to get a piece of Alec. Through it all, Magnus didn’t flinch or cave once, keeping a tight grip on Alec and glaring at anyone who dared touch him. Really, Alec couldn’t have asked for a better bodyguard.

By the time they made it to the rest of the fashion team, everyone had noticed their struggle to get across the room and snickered as they congratulated Magnus on his success.

“Well, that was a night,” Clary grinned, sidling up next to Alec and looping her arm into the crook of his elbow, shooing Magnus away when the journalist sent her a surprised glance. “I need some time with my best friend, lover boy, go talk to Cat and Madzie or something, I’m sure they’ll be delighted to see you again.”

“Very well,” Magnus laughed. “I can tell when I’m unwanted. You should catch up with Madzie once you and Clary are done with your best friend talk, alright? I think she missed you even more than I did, which I didn’t think was possible. And please, for the love of god, stay away from Andrew and his leech of a boyfriend.”

Alec stared at his boyfriend amusedly as he waited for Magnus to finish his little rant, nodding occasionally when the man mentioned a name Alec recognised. Finally, Clary glared at Magnus and physically shoved him away from them, barely giving Alec the time to kiss him softly, whispering a promise that he would see him again later.

“I forgot how annoying the two of you could get,” she curled her lip in distaste as Magnus walked away from them. No matter how disgusted she sounded, Alec knew she was genuinely happy for him – could see it in the way her eyes had lit up when she had first seen Magnus and him walk into the room. “Seriously, there should be a limit of how much PDA two people are allowed to partake in when their friends are around.”

“Sure, Red. We’ll see how Izzy and you do with those limits,” he answered, chuckling when Clary blushed a bright red. “But seriously, who in this team cares about PDA? Aline, Helen, Meliorn, and even Andrew and Emily certainly don’t seem to mind being able to kiss their partners whenever they want to. Besides, we should just be glad we have people to love in our lives. We’re happy, Red, isn’t that enough?”

“Yeah,” Clary breathed out, glancing over at Magnus and Isabelle where the two journalists were discussing something enthusiastically, smiling widely at each other. “It might even be more than enough. How did we get so lucky, huh?”

“I don’t know,” Alec answered honestly, his smile softening when Magnus and Izzy turned to glance at them, both of them waving seductively as they caught Alec and Clary staring. “But who cares? She loves you, Clary, more than she’s ever loved anyone. And you love her too. Maybe that has nothing to do with luck; maybe love is bigger than all of that.”

“Maybe,” Clary hummed. “He loves you too, you know? I’m not sure I’ll ever think he’s good enough for you, but he loves you more than anything in the world. I suppose that’ll have to be enough for me.”

“Good,” Alec laughed fondly. “Because it’s enough for me. Now, was there a reason why you stole me away from my boyfriend, or should we put them out of their misery and join them?”

“I just- I’m proud of you, Alec,” Clary said seriously, turning towards him and staring at him with a small, private smile tugging at her lips. “And I wanted to thank you for being the best partner I could have ever asked for. Thank you for giving me a place to thrive, for believing in me every step of the way, and for loving me all along. Out of everyone I know, you are the one most deserving of love, and I am so glad you found that with Magnus.”

“So am I. And for the record, you’re also the best partner I could have asked for,” Alec said, blinking back tears at his best friend’s words. “Now come on, enough with the sappiness. Izzy and Magnus are waiting for us, and the rest of the team will probably want to take a few pictures of the four of us in all our fabulousness.”

“Undoubtedly,” Clary grinned, eagerly skipping towards her girlfriend and letting Alec trail behind her.

He took his time reaching the rest of the group, looking them all over and feeling his heart speed up at their obvious happiness. He had contributed to that, even if just a little bit, by keeping the promise he had made them months earlier. The spring collection had turned out to be even more memorable than what Alec had planned, and it showed on all of his colleague’s faces.

Even though he knew he would still have to deal with the consequences of his speech, and he was well aware that he and Magnus would have to work on fixing their relationship for a while longer, Alec was happy. He would even go as far as to say he was happier than he had ever been.

The world now knew who he truly was, and he would be a fool not to take advantage of that. No more lies, no more secrets, no more hiding behind other people.

His colours were finally out in the open, and it was time for Alec to shine.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #fanfic #my writing

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totaldramafan-lauri · 5 years ago

Text

Yearning

W-well...here it is. The product of two weeks’ work.

A couple months ago, I got inspired to start planning a multi-chapter self-ship fanfic, but since I hadn’t written detailed fic in literal years, I wanted to do an unrelated one-shot to kinda...warm up a little, to see if that’s something I really do wanna do...I’m still unsure if it’ll happen, but I did the warmup, and...it became this THING.

This is based on the Vampire!Spinel AU from @su-reader-imagines, which...I ended up liking, like...way too much. X///D I’m not even a vampire fan normally, but...maybe it was the Spinel part. >/////> I-I won’t link the specific post since there’s NSFW content in it and I don’t wanna make anyone read it if they’re not comfortable with that stuff, but...this story in particular has no blatant NSFW (just implied stuff).

Since I started off writing this for myself, I had planned for this to be self-insert, but then I decided to make it more reader-insert to match the original imagine. However, the first-person POV remained, so it’s...weird. The narrator isn’t mentioned by name and details about them are vague, but it’s still kinda my personality, so....it STILL might be more self-insert then reader-insert? I dunno, it’s kinda in the middle...I-I’m not used to this...

It’s probably obvious that I don’t normally make this kinda stuff, but I still did my best...I didn’t expect this to get as long as it did, but I’m a detail-oriented, overexplaining piece of crap, simply put. X////D

Even if nothing comes of this, I at least finished it, and I’m.....kinda p-proud of that, even if....it’s kinda embarrassing....S-so if you read this, I...h-hope y-you...enjoy.....>///////<

Now if you e-excuse me I’m gonna find a dumpster to hide in....

Yandere warning for the very end!

---

It had been a few days since then, but I was still reeling. A part of me was still in disbelief. That couldn't have been real, could it? I mean...something like that, happening to me of all people? I had always been down on my luck...Ignoreable. Average. There was nothing about me worth noting. Occasionally, something good would happen, sure...but nothing like that.

But then I'd look at myself in the mirror, and see the marks on my neck. And I'd be brought back to that night. It was real.

My mind would fill with overwhelming emotions whenever I'd think about it...and whenever I'd close my eyes, I'd see her there in front of me.

Looking back at me with red eyes, grinning playfully, her fangs showing. I'd see myself laying on my back, her hands all over me, as I let her do whatever she wanted...The heat in my body, rising....The sound of her voice, teasing me...

"Spinel..."

Her name, escaping my lips.

Luckily, no one was around to hear, but I caught myself anyway, snapping back to reality. I'd been standing there in the bathroom in front of the mirror for how long? A few minutes? And after I'd already relieved myself? I flushed in embarrassment. Get it together, I thought to myself. After splashing some water on my face, I went back to work.

Never before had work been so frustrating. I couldn't focus on anything. My pace was so sluggish that it felt like I was moving underwater. And I had to keep a poker face the entire time. I couldn't let anyone know what happened. They wouldn't believe me! They'd think I was crazy! And maybe I was, but I didn't wanna bring attention to it. I had already been getting some looks from coworkers due to my neck, but no one asked me about it. That was good. I tried to imagine myself attempting to explain in the sanest way, "Yeeeeaaah, I met an actual vampire and let her drink from me." Yeah, that wasn't happening. I hadn't believed they existed, either, until I met her.

I tried everything I could to distract myself, but the fluttering in my chest would just keep coming back...It was like she had left her mark on me in more than one way...

Even before I knew what she was, she still seemed like someone who would only exist in my dreams. She was lively and interesting, with a unique way of talking and dressing. Even her name was unique. She was charismatic, and confident...and she had a voice that you loved listening to. The way she could switch between playful and downright seductive...Just thinking about it...about the kind of things she said to me...

There was no way I was her first. She was way too good at that. But the very idea that someone like her could pay attention to me, and treat me so well...I should consider myself lucky to have spent just the one night with her...right?

So...what was this yearning I felt...? Was I really that needy...?

The memories were so fresh...Me and her, in the back room, making out, and her drinking from me...and then making me the happiest I had ever been in my life. In that perfect moment, I didn't want anything else. I just wanted to do whatever she told me to. I was hers, and hers alone...

I didn't expect to spend the entire night with her, but I was riding that high for so long. I didn't wanna leave her arms. The aftercare...I could still feel her icy hands trailing down my back. I could still hear her voice, cooing in my ear, telling me what a good girl I was...It had made me so happy, knowing I pleased her...

I remember all the little petnames she called me. My favorite was "doll". That was the one that made me feel the most...special. And I think she caught on to that, because she'd call me it again and again. I was her doll. At that time, I existed only to make her happy, and I was doing my job!

Spinel's doll...

"Stay with me a bit longer? Please~?" she asked, while gently rubbing my back.

"I...wanna stay..." I answered, still dizzy, "But...will we...get in trouble...?"

She chuckled. "Nah, we won't. I told ya, I know the guy. No one's gonna bother us, I promise~..." she assured me gently.

"OK...I'll stay then..."

I turned around and subconsciously scooted into her a bit more, wanting to be as close to her as possible. She didn't seem to mind, putting her arm around me and holding me from behind. My heart felt like it was about to burst...I'd never experienced this level of intimacy before, and this was just the icing on the cake.

"Mmmm, you're so warm, doll~..."

At that comment, I'm sure I got even warmer. I felt so weak, but so happy. We simply laid there in silence, with her occasionally breaking it to hum to me. Soon, I felt myself get drowsy. It was getting late, but...I didn't wanna move.

"...Spinel?"

"Yeah, doll?"

"I'm...getting tired...Is it OK if I fall asleep...?"

"Course it is. You've earned it, toots..." she spoke softly, "And don't worry...I'll still be here when ya wake up~."

After she gave her permission, I drifted off to sleep, which ended up lasting all night. And sure enough, she had told the truth, as I woke up still in her arms.

And I panicked.

I jolted upright and frantically checked the time. I didn't know it would be all night! Oh crap! How would I explain myself!?

I told her I had to go.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because my mom's probably worried sick about- er", Did I really just reveal to her that I still live with my mom? "-I live with my mom, and I've never stayed the night without saying anything, so-" I felt increasingly awkward with every word that came out of my mouth. "And, and...crap, I have work! Wait, that's tomorrow..."

She tried to calm me down, but at that point, I couldn't. My anxiety was through the roof. This was supposed to be a simple trip to a bar, to try something new. But I ended up staying the night at the place with someone I just met. And it was incredible. But now that it was over, everything catching up to me, I just felt bad. I felt...guilty. I took up so much of Spinel's time. She was most likely most active at night, and I kept her in one place for so long. And compared to her, I was practically nothing. I didn't deserve any of that...but she gave it to me anyway. I was a piece of crap who wasted her time.

So all I could do was apologize. "I-I'm so sorry!" I cried out, jumping to my feet. I wobbled a little before steadying myself.

And...she let me go. She didn't protest at all, saying that it was fine, she wasn't keeping me there. She was calm throughout my freak out. She remained sitting in bed, at first with an amused grin...but when I apologized, she looked away. I couldn't see her face anymore, and her voice became more monotone than ever.

"You can leave if ya want," she said.

She didn't care anymore, I could tell. I overstayed my welcome for sure.

Before leaving the room, I turned around one last time, giving a quick but honest "thanks" for the incredible night together...and she finally looked back at me, with a slight smile.

And now...here I was. Stuck in a perpetual daydream, trying to keep myself together. A coworker's voice snapped me out of my memory of the last time I saw her. I quickly apologized, trying my darnedest to keep that poker face I always wore, but it was harder than ever.

Ugh, I'm such a mess...What did you do to me?

My mind was filled with questions. Just who was she? Where was she from? Was she born a vampire, or did she become one? How long has she been alive? What kind of things does she like to do? Does she have friends? There was so much I didn't know about her...I'd been too caught up in the moment to think about those things that night, but now, I couldn't help but feel curious.

I couldn't get her off my mind...As the week went by, I tried to piece myself back together. I tried to think rationally, telling myself to let it go, it'll never happen again, and so on. But nothing worked. The fluttering in my heart wouldn't stop. At first, I hated it, but now, when it was undeniable, I finally had to give in to my feelings...and I finally put together the words in my head that had been so obvious the whole time.

Wanna see her again.

I knew that could easily go badly, knowing me. I'd never been good at social situations, always opting to stay on the sidelines so I wouldn't embarrass myself. If I really knew what's best for me, I'd quit while I'm ahead, right?

But the more time passed, the more agonizing it got...I missed her voice, her touch, her eyes, her lips...everything. After only one night, I already felt so empty without her, so longing...I wanted to be her doll again. Was that so wrong...?

Wanna see her again...

For a while, I was being pulled in two directions, with another part of me shouting that it was a bad idea. Being brave is always a bad idea to me. But I couldn't help it. So I told myself, that, once the weekend came...I'd go with my gut, for once.

Wanna see her again...

---

This was a mistake.

Coming back here was a mistake. That's all I could think of as I sat there, alone, staring at my lap. Here I was at the bar again, but now what? Why didn't I have a plan?

I remembered why I don't come to these kind of places often - I always feel out of place at them. The kinds of people who go here are usually the polar opposite of me...loud, social, sometimes even aggressive, with eye-catching outfits...and there I was, trying not to stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe if I'm quiet, they won't notice me, I thought, I gotta not bring attention to myself...

"Can I get you anything?" an annoyed-sounding voice asked.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bartender spoke to me. When did he get there? I hadn't heard him approach! "Um, nothing! No thanks!" I said quickly. I wasn't here for the food or the drinks.

But the way the man looked at me told me I probably should have ordered something. I mean, who comes to a bar just to sit there awkwardly, right? I mean, besides me. Based on the clock on the wall, I had been here for...almost twenty minutes already? I averted my eyes and spun myself around so that my back was facing the counter, as if that would shield me from the embarrassment.

My eyes scanned the room, hoping to catch at least a glimpse of the one person I wanted to see. There were a fair number of people, but she was still nowhere to be found. I sighed, feeling my heart sink.

She had told me she came here twice a week, and it had been exactly a week since then, so...it would make sense for her to be here tonight, right? Or was she more unpredictable? She did seem like that type...Or maybe it was me. Maybe she was here, just avoiding me...No, no, that can't be it, can it?

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, trying to expel that thought from my mind. Then I looked up again, watching people dancing to the music playing. My mind was instantly brought back to dancing with her that night, before she led me away. I had no idea what I was in for. All I was concerned with was dancing with this attractive lady and hopefully not making a fool of myself. I remember it feeling like the temperature in the room was rising...she had been so close...

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I thought that maybe, she'd like to see me again, since it had seemed like she liked taking care of me...but I was stupid to think that.

Did I really think I was worth anything to her? If I was, she wouldn't have let me leave so easily. She could've just as easily convinced me to stay. She had marked me. There was evidence I was hers. She could've told me I wasn't to leave without her permission. Or heck, she could've told me she was worried about me after how weak I'd been! But no. She was simply done with me after that.

I was just a food source, that's all. She just indulged me afterward because it was so obvious I was into her. She was humoring me. Why didn't I piece that together? Was I really that stupid? Just look at me!

I started chewing on my fingers nervously as my anxiety took control. Desperate, I scanned the room once again. Did that person just look at me!? I looked away, still chewing. I didn't just bring attention to myself, did I? Was I staring? I turned back around to the counter, looking at the clock instead.

A half hour. I'd been just sitting here doing nothing for a half hour. Great.

Thank god the place wasn't too packed. And that the bartender was pretending I wasn't there at the moment. It was then that I had a thought: maybe he knew her. I could've asked him if she was here. But no, that'd be too awkward for words..."Excuse me sir, is Spinel here?" Though I didn't fully doubt I wouldn't be the first to ask that...

Maybe...she's with someone else right now...

That thought hit me harder than anything else, and I finally started to break down. I leaned against the counter, my head in my hands, trying to compose myself for a few minutes. I couldn't stay here much longer...the music, the voices, the looks, I had to get out soon-

"Hello, nurse~"

When I heard that familiar greeting, my eyes snapped open, and I slowly uncovered my face. Was it really...? There was no way I was hearing things, right?...After a couple seconds, I looked over...and there she was.

She was looking right at me, a playful smirk on her face, in the same way as I remembered. Her hair was back up in pigtails, too. It was like I had stepped back in time...I felt the heat rise to my face, my mouth hanging open. This was really happening. She was actually here! Now what!?

Say something! "Uhhh..." I cleared my throat. "Hey..."

She giggled. That alone caused my heart to do flips. "Well, gee~" she said, almost innocently, as she took a step toward me, "What brings your pretty face back to a place like this? Is it the drinks? The tunes?" she tilted her head, "The entertainment?"

I could tell she was teasing me. What I couldn't tell was whether or not she was mocking me. I knew I didn't fit in, but having it implied by her made me feel a bit embarrassed. Still, she had approached me...Just when I was worrying this was hopeless, she approached me, just like I wanted...Now more than ever, I wish I had a plan, because I felt like all I could do was sit there, my eyes fixed on her. I didn't know I would get this far...I was so sure I was fooling myself...

"Er...um, well..." I laughed nervously, "I-I know, I don't look the part...but that doesn't mean you gotta rub it in..."

"Oh, I didn't say there was anything wrong with that!" she replied, "I know that a lotta people have secrets to hide...And I'm sure you have your own reasons for bein' here~"

My own reasons...I felt my heartbeat pick up speed at that. She knows. Once again, I made it obvious. Every part of me was calling out for her, wanting me to spill out all my feelings to her...She's right there. Don't back down. Don't run away.

"Y-yeah, you could, say that I-ah!"

Just when I began talking, she leaned down to be at eye level with me. My body tensed up, and my words got caught in my throat. Her face was very close, to the point where I could feel her breath on my skin...She was still smiling, but there was an intensity in her eyes that I'd never seen before. I could only imagine how red my face was at that moment..."A-ah..." I didn't move an inch, but I looked to the side to see if anyone was watching us. It didn't look like it.

Then she reached out and touched my neck. I inhaled sharply as a shiver raced down my spine. She was just as cold as I remember, a sensation I didn't know I liked before...but I welcomed it. I had missed her touch so much...Her fingertips gently brushed against the spot where my marks were healing, and she stared there silently. Her other hand went to my thigh. The intimacy of the moment made me feel like I was gonna burst...

"Miss me, doll?" she spoke again, softly, as her eyes met mine.

I practically melted when I heard my favorite nickname again. I managed a nod. "Mhm..."

A hum. "Good..." she crooned. Then she leaned in further and kissed my cheek. It was small, but it was enough to make all my previous worries disappear...and make me want more. "C'mon," she patted my thigh before taking one of my hands in hers, standing up straight. I followed her lead and stood up as well. And, as if history was repeating, she proceeded to lead me to the back room, where it could be just the two of us.

I liked holding her hand. It felt...assuring, in a way. It made me feel like she really did want me here, and that coming back was the right choice. I didn't know what would happen next...Was she gonna drink from me again? Did she just wanna talk? Or will she...indulge me again? All I knew was that, for now, things felt right.

"S-Spinel?"

"Hmmmmm~?"

"I...I was wondering...uh..."

This was the time to start getting to know her better. I had so many questions for her, so many things I was curious about...but I was getting tongue-tied. Great. Why did I have to be so easy to fluster? It was getting difficult to put my thoughts into words, and I mentally kicked myself. I can't lose my nerve now!

She giggled. "It's OK, dearie~" she said, and squeezed my hand as we continued walking, "You don't have to say anything right now. Take your time. It's not like I'm gettin' any older!"

She laughed at her little joke, and I did, too. Her laughter was contagious. Either that, or I was so enamored with her that I'd follow anything she did. I couldn't tell yet.

But I still wanted to say more. Where would I even start, though? She was such a mystery...I guess there'd be time for that later. Yeah. Later, after I calm down. If she'd let me calm down, that is.

We entered the back room, and I looked around as she closed the door behind us. Had she taken anyone else down here since then? That was my first thought, but I quickly shook it out. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was here again. There was no one else here. It was just me and her. Me and Spinel. And Spinel was holding my hand right now...

Almost immediately after she closed the door, she suddenly pulled me towards her, and into a kiss. I squeaked in surprise, before closing my eyes and letting my feelings completely take me over. I felt her free hand trail up my back, slowly, softly, and I felt my whole body flush. This...this was what I had wanted...It was like I never left...

The kiss was short, too short. She pulled away, and I opened my eyes to see her smiling softly at me. It wasn't the teasing grin that she usually wore. She looked more...sincere. I smiled back, in complete bliss.

"I didn't think you'd come back", she said.

"You...didn't...?"

"No one does. It's always one and done with people", she chuckled softly, looking away from me. "They give me what I want once, then never come back. So I always gotta move on to the next one."

This shocked me. Was I really the first one to do this? No one else has ever come back after the first time? I found that unbelievable...I was such a coward...so why me, of all people?

"It gets lonely..." she brought my hand to her face, "even when I'm not alone, I'd still feel so lonely..."

My face fell as her words hit me.

Spinel was...lonely...?

She seemed to carry herself with such confidence, so I never would've guessed...She seemed like someone who would have many friends, and many people vying for her attention. Especially considering how good she was at...what she does...I guess being a vampire would lead to some difficulties with getting people to stick around? I guess not many people wanna experience that more than once...Did she scare them? I remember being scared at first...but she had taken such good care of me that I wasn't scared anymore...She wasn't intimidating, was she? How can someone not enjoy her company?

Was it, maybe...that no one felt they were worthy of her attention?

Already, I was learning more about her, and it wasn't what I was expecting at all...I wanted to help her, but I didn't know how. I was pretty lonely myself. Not many people could bring themselves to give a crap about me. Could it be...that we had something in common?

I didn't know what to say. I didn't wanna ask her about it. She seemed happy to see me, and I didn't wanna ruin it. So, I simply apologized. "I'm....sorry...."

And immediately, she looked back at me, and the playfulness returned.

"Awww, don't be sorry, doll~" she cooed, "Now I know that you're not like that! And that makes me so happy...knowing you're just as special as I thought you were~"

Heat rushed to my cheeks at her words. "I-I'm really not that special..." I tried my best not to stumble over my words, and began talking faster, "I...I just wanted to...to get to know you better, that's all. And I didn't expect myself to get this far, to be honest..." I forced a laugh.

"But you are special!" she disagreed, "Take it from someone who knows uniqueness when she sees it..."

She finally let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close to her. She leaned down, bringing her face close to mine. My heart was about ready to burst out of my chest...

"The way you're lookin' at me right now...I've never seen anything like it."

Before I could say anything more, she brought her lips to mine in a passionate kiss, much longer and more heated than the last. I tried to kiss her back, but she completely overpowered me, denying me barely any room to breathe. I could barely even think as she made out with me, her hands wandering all over my body, claiming every part of me. She was so cold, but she made me feel so warm...I loved it. Finally giving in, I wrapped my arms around her, moaning weakly. She giggled in response, a noise I couldn't get enough of.

For that moment, it felt like she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Once she pulled back, I was panting, elated, but a complete mess in her arms. I could only imagine what I looked like. I must've looked pathetic, my mouth hanging open as she left it, my face flushed, my eyes closed. My legs felt like jelly, so I leaned into her, resting on her shoulder as I caught my breath. She let out an airy chuckle, sounding breathless as well. I felt one of her hands stroking my back. I tried to collect my thoughts about what just happened. Holy crap that was incredible, you're so perfect, Spinel, thank you, I'm so sorry I left, I don't wanna leave again, I'll let you have me for as long as you want...I'm yours now, I'm yours...

I'd never felt so desperate for someone in my whole life...She was almost intoxicating. Part of me knew I should try and resist, try to be rational...but the rest of me didn't care. I'd been yearning for this all week, and all that frustration had finally paid off...

"How lucky I was to come across a dame like you", she spoke seductively into my ear, "So cute...so sensitive...and so...delicious~" she whispered the last word. I shivered, gripping her tighter as if it'll save me from melting into a puddle on the floor.

All I could do was whimper in response, causing another chuckle from her.

"That's right, doll, I mean every word..." she continued, "And ya came back, just to see me...You're such a sweet thing~. In fact," Both of her hands began wandering up my back, resting on my shoulders, "I missed ya more then ya thought I did...I missed holdin' ya like this...Touchin' ya like this...Do ya believe me? I've been so, so lonely...I missed ya, my sweet doll..."

'My sweet doll'. 'MY'. I felt my heart soar at her words. Spinel missed me...! And I made her happy...!

"...And now, I'm never lettin' ya go again."

Her voice suddenly took on a tone I'd never heard before...Darker, more growly, with her accent more pronounced. My eyes finally snapped open again as she aggressively jerked me back by my shoulders, pushing me into the nearest wall, pinning me there. My heart was racing a mile a minute as I could only look up at her. She was grinning widely, and not in her normal way. This grin was manic, predatory, and it made me begin to shiver. What was going on? What was she gonna do? I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Warning bells were going off in my mind, but I was frozen like a deer in headlights.

And then, her eyes began to glow. Her red eyes were already one of her most noticeable features, but now, they were the brightest thing in the dark room. I squinted at the light, and instinctively tried to look away, but a hand went to my face, forcing me to look at it. I didn't know what was happening, but I would bear with it for her. And so, I braced myself. My first guess was that she would drink from me again, and I welcomed that thought. She was welcome to use me in that way if she wanted...

But nothing happened. As I continued looking at her, the tension in my body disappeared, and I stopped trembling. In fact, I began to feel weak in the knees. She wasn't saying anything, and she still got that reaction out of me...The sight of her face so close to mine, looking like she could ravage me at any moment...and I, the prey, was so helpless, pinned against the wall...This was an image I never wanted to forget.

With each passing second, I felt myself melt more and more, to the point where my legs started to give out. I slid down the wall a little, and then her hands went under my arms, helping me stay on my feet. But even then, it kept getting worse.

"S-Spinel..." I breathed out, attempting to speak, "I-I feel...I can't...." The sentences weren't forming. I felt my body grow numb, the only thing keeping me from collapsing on the ground being her arms...

"Shhh...Don't worry", she said, her voice as smooth as butter, "I got'cha~"

My vision was starting to blur, but I couldn't look away from her. Her gorgeous eyes were unblinking as she looked back at me, the eerie red glow making them all the more beautiful. I was putty in her hands...It was as if there was nothing else around me...nothing else that mattered. It was just her.

Just Spinel, the woman of my dreams.

My eyelids began to grow heavy, my body fully limp. With the last of my consciousness, I realized that this sensation wasn't normal. Was she doing this? I would've been scared had I caught on earlier, but now, I didn't care. I just wanted to stay like this...it felt so good...

"That's it...~" she purred, "Now, close your eyes for me...Just relax for a bit, and let me take care of everything~"

That was the last thing I heard before I closed my eyes, and quickly passed out in her arms.

When I woke up, I was in a place I had never seen before.

#hypnotism tw-/////#yandere tw-////#not tagging with anything else nope not brave enough #fics by lauri

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jess-the-vampire · 4 years ago

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Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 36

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"Sky?"

Sky mumbled in her sleep, trying to bat away the person that was shaking her arm. Couldn't she just get a nice night's sleep after what had already been a rough day? Who was waking her up? She felt them shake her more fiercely and with a small glimpse she could make out enough to tell the figure above her was judas. There was no mistaking his purple face and dark hair, though sky remained groggy, as she tended to hate not getting as much sleep as she could.

"Judas...c'mon...not now...".

Seriously? Didn't they just get out of a crazy trial situation where sky herself was almost arrested herself? If anyone needed sleep besides angel, it was her, she tugged against her best friend, trying to get more comfy on her pillow how she could and go back to pleasant dreams where she wasn't almost killed or attacked or a combo of both. Though with noises going on in the back and Judas's constant attempts, she wasn't able to ignore him for much longer as reality started to return around her and to her senses.

"Sky, you need to get up! Angel's mother, she started freaking out in the middle of the night...the spiderbites and working on her right now...you have to get up...". Sky blinked away the sleep, sitting up on the bed to see a large crowd was forming around the bed, the lucitors, the butterflies, several nurses, the spiderbites, nora, angel, mason, all the girls. Whatever just happened, she must've slept through the action, and she suddenly felt more awake then ever.

She quickly tried to get her mind in order as she absorbed the chaos around them, people running around, loud voices, constant talking and movement that it was a miracle sky slept through it at all.

"What...how...what?".

"Angel was sleeping next to her to watch her and she started to jolt in the middle of the night, and he woke up and started to panic and he got the nurses attentions and everyone quickly started piling in, the queen was mostly stiff before, she never jolted before, they're so worried about her...". His eyes wandered to the crowd, so many people were talking to each other and moving in and out and sky could barely see what was happening over there, though the panic in the room was obvious.

"Is she ok?".

That was probably a stupid question to ask considering the paranoia around her but it slipped out anyway.

"I don't know sky, they checking on her right now...trying to see if there's anything they can do...some have been running out and grabbing materials and ingredients. Whatever must have been going on, it seemed like a serious emergency. Though among the commotion sky could hear Queen Spiderbite immediately shout over the others, trying to get them to stop panicking, as she asked the nurses to bring her some certain medicines and plants.

And was...her mother using magic?

"Judas...should we-".

"No, our parents said for us to stay back, let the professionals take a look at her...and well..angel...for good reasons. I had to wake you...you're kinda a heavy sleeper". Sky rubbed at her eyes, worry on her face, "Judas...what if...what if she...". Then a burst of light came from the bed where the queen laid, scaring everyone around the bed as Queen Spiderbite started pushing some of the viewers away, "Give her space, right now! I think there's some feeling returning to her legs, she needs to be able to stretch them!".

Quickly some of the crowd backed up, King Lucitor backing up to where judas and Sky were to alert them of what was happening.

"Queen Arachford had a "Jolt", because of her condition she was suffering from a stiffness that prevented her from being able to function like she used to. But since her species is magic, it seems a burst of magic occurred in her system, forcing her to react against her current condition...Queen Spiderbite says the suddenness had a chance of causing serious harm but Star's seeing if maybe they could bring movement back to all parts of her body again by spreading that magic out...".

"A burst of magic..huh".

"It's because of angel..."., The demon looked very serious, "The Arachmen went without a lot of serious magic for generations, making his species unable to develop with it properly...now that angel's brought it back...or well..did...her body is reacting to it unnaturally. Star thinks Arana is trying to heal herself with the magic internally, which is dangerous to do without proper training...healing magic can only do so much, it can fix wounds and heal bones but diseases are a whole other matter...".

"Is mason-?'.

"Mason offered his garden because plants do a lot of good for healing on mewni, but it's not that simple, the queen is not just suffering from a stiffness...she has memory issues, she's almost in a non functioning mode. I think even if we do cure her...she's never going to fully be how she was...she's going to need a lot of recovery time...there's no magical cure that just fixes everything unfortunately. I just hope we're fast enough to help her before we're too late...she's been like this long enough...".

"King Lucitor...".

"I'm sorry kids, it's a serious situation and we're not sure ourselves how to even respond to it, people have already been struggling to figure out how to save her before this point and...you shouldn't have to see this. Star put her here and got people to look over her but we had so much on our plates we couldn't put enough on her and it's terrifying...there's not a lot we can do it seems...unless we find out something fast to solve this without making it worse.".

"What's mom doing...?", Star tilted her head, looking closer at the scene.

"She's trying to get a better look at her condition...she promised to put a ton of effort into saving this woman's life...if she doesn't do that...well i don't want to imagine that...", Star and Queen Spiderbtie seemed lost in conversation at this point, discussing what to do right now whilst everyone around them was worried and panicking. So much for that nice night of sleep everyone wanted to have after such a complete mess of a day, of course something had to happen.

Queen Lucitor approached Star and they seemed to talk for a bit themselves and soon enough Penelope entered center stage, "Alright everyone, anyone whose not a nurse, doctor, or a king or queen...can you please leave this area? We have to talk and deal with this and we can't have you all here. Please can all of you wait outside?", there was mass discussion but sure enough, some of the crowd were leaving, sunny, mason, judas and sky were escorted to leave, even angel despite his protests.

The guards forcing them out and guarding the doors despite how tired they obviously were.

Surprisingly, nora had been asked to stay, her eyes wandering as the others were shut behind the door.

Almost on instinct, sky reached out for the distressed monster prince, though he was already panicking and screaming to get back inside to see his mom. Then someone else entered the scene, Katrina, she tugged him away from the door, trying to chill him down before he hurt himself. "Spider boy, you have to wait and let them do their job...", but he growled at her, "That's my MOM in there, i should be in there WITH her!". But she sat him down forcibly, "Stay down...".

"I can't stay down that's my-".

"Either you stay down or you might put her at more risk being there...if they need you they'll call you...now STAY", her eyes were practically glowing with how she glared at him. Not to mention how strong she actually was, intimidating the prince as he decided it wasn't worth crossing with her and planting himself firmly on his seat. Katrina seemed relieved to have finally gotten through to him, but she sent him glares as she turned her attention to the others looking at her.

Yeesh, Katrina was scary, sky certainly never wanted to get on her bad side.

Though Judas and Sky definitely seemed to feel bad for him, and if they had the power to, they'd most definitely fight to get him back inside to see her. But all that would earn them was a more serious grounding and possibly just be shut back inside their rooms in general. Angel was most definitely not calm, panicking internally, but sadly he'd half to wait as katrina smiled at the kids. She motioned for them to come up so she could talk to them and sky sighed.

"Katrina I-".

The Frog woman looked to sky and smiled, "Bluebell...good to see you when i'm not tailing purple boy over there...", she gave judas a little wave. " My spy partner has been out doing another mission, i'm sure if she wasn't so busy she'd be here to help out but there's not much i can do on that front...it's tiring enough following you around...". She shot angel a look to make sure he was still sitting before turning back to the duo, "I hope they know what they're doing in there...".

"Yeah...me too..."

"This entire situation is a mess, from head to toe, we got the commission attacking the princess, a masked foe avoiding detection despite all odds, a queen that's horribly sick...and god i never thought i'd see the day the Spiderbites and Arachfords could be in the same room together normally, not to mention helping another survive. This isn't even mentioning all the stuff going down at the monster village, i can barely keep my restaurant open anymore...everyone is scared to leave their homes...".

"Scared to leave their homes?", Judas rubbed at his eyes, katrina'a voice getting softer as she gazed to angel.

"With the Ponyhead prince being..well...you saw him, and angel having worked for her...well...no one wants to end up like them if they can help themselves...though the assassins guild is out there apparently looking for them theirselves...they're gaining a huge bounty for doing so little...". Guess that was a viable reason for anyone to want to stay in their homes, not to mention whenever judas had seen that figure, well...their appearance was chilling.

The white mask.

The dress.

the soulless eyes.

He felt himself shiver on the spot.

Angel had told him he had been worried for him, simply due to his arm, and he had a point. It was bad enough she had loki, what if she had done that to judas? Or anyone who was super powerful? Judas didn't like the implications of what could happen if he got out of control, much less out of control and in the control of someone else who he already knows tried to kill angel, he felt the shocked on his wrist and tried to sooth his mind quickly.

At the time he played it off like maybe angel was worrying too much about something that might not even happen, but it seemed the anxiety had creeped up on him now that the trial was out of the way. It was in the back of his mind, it had been ever since they found out people could be controlled. Though he needed to put it aside, he needed to be strong right now, especially with how one of his friends was dealing with the fate of his mother right now.

Thinking about this too hard got to him fast.

"Any tips on what we could do to get her?", sky suddenly asked, "I mean, you're a master spy right? You've had to catch criminals before?".

"Yeah, but most criminals i get aren't magic, those are always left to the Butterflies and commission, otherwise it might be out of my league, my partner is a lot stronger then i am, those kinda threats are better left for her to take care of then me...". Angel huffed in his seat, batting at tears in his eyes and Katrina quickly took his side and tried to pet him to calm him down, "Honestly we're lucky she didn't take over his body, especially when he was getting stronger...if she got her hands on him while in one of his spider rampages...oof.".

Sky recalled to the outburst he had while training, "You're not wrong...".

"Speaking of which...you holding up there purple?".

Judas was almost taken aback, not answering her at first. But that only made it more obvious something was wrong. Katrine sent a sympathetic smile his way, trying to reassure him, "Hey, don't feel bad you haven't taken the guy out...we've tackled some tough dudes ourselves, some took forever to catch it feels like...if even we have our struggles...you can too. Just have faith in us we'll take care of this before things get any worse..sooner or later...".

Judas huffed, letting it all out, "No...it's not that...i'm...i'm worried what'll happen if i get taken over...personally...i gave sky something to help in case...my entire family has one as well...but...i'm nervous...". Sky started patting his back and Katrina reassured him, "Everyone's anxious about that...but we'll make sure they never get the chance if they are considering it...promise, you're in good hands judas. It's ok to still be scared but you need to stop being terrified of yourself...you're not a bad person jude...".

"I just think about it sometimes...i've had it drilled into my head that i'm dangerous and i can't help but now think...what if someone gets hurt because i lose control of my body? I want to know i'm in control of my body, and that...no one else is or will be..." though his sadness was quickly cut before anyone could respond, "I'm sorry, it's so off topic...we should be worrying about angel and the queen, i...shouldn't be turning this into a conversation about me...".

"Jude...dude...like...you can talk about this if you need to, it clearly matters to you..."., Judas hugged his arms, turning his head from sky.

"No it's ok...for now let's focus on angel...we can worry about this another time...when things are calmer...", judas wasn't trying to be rude but there was no way they could get judas to get into this when he was this upset, they were just going to have to wait. Though it didn't make sky feel any better, she could take pressure off of him but she couldn't make him feel safe in his own skin just by speaking to him and doing some magic or something.

Angel's ears flickered at the talk, he looked like he wanted to say something but stayed quiet.

"Just try to not let this worry you so much...it's our job to protect you...have some faith in us and yourself..." the frog woman smiled at him, patting his shoulder before her compact started to ring. She quickly checked to see who was calling and she almost hopped in surprise, "I better take this...keep an eye on the spider while i'm gone real quick? And don't try and go inside...they'll kill you if i don't.". She headed off down the hall and Mason quickly approached, still in his matching jammies.

He'd probably been waiting for katrina to leave for this exact moment.

He looked more then eager to see his older brother, a smile on his face despite the current situation at hand, though his hair was all over the place. Judas left wondering if his brother had been sleeping upside down on the ceiling again. Regardless, considering how deeply their parents refused to let mason take part in their situation, mason was here, and he yawned as his wings fluttered behind him. Only bumping into the slightest bit of people on his way over.

"Mason...you really shouldn't be here...y'know? It's WAY past your bedtime", he sounded like their parents, but he wasn't wrong either.

"I'm 13...", the small demon said, pouting, batting at his eyes as his wings stretched, he looked like a stubborn child...well, an even more stubborn child. "Besides...you're all still up, I don't see why I can't be here with you guys...sky's only a couple years older then me...I wanted to be here to see If i could help. I said they could find stuff in my garden cause i got a lot of healing plants and magic plants in there and twiler has made all inds of stuff with their ingredients...".

"Mason, you know mom and dad said-".

"I want to help...it's not fair you and landon can help and i can't...just because i'm a kid doesn't mean i can't help out!", mason was still bitter about it and judas couldn't blame him, though he also couldn't agree either since he put him in danger in the first place. He reached out and patted his little brother's head, laughing as the boy batted away his hands, "Mason, you're a smart kid, but...we shouldn't put all this on your shoulders...or get you hurt...".

"I work with the most dangerous plants on mewni, i'm not scared! I easily could've been strangled or eaten or poisoned...all kinds of stuff...but I knew what I was doing...i'm not...stupid or reckless...you make it all sound like I can't be...responsible...". Did Mason really feel like this? Like everyone had thought lesser of him? "I wanna help out my brothers...but no one wants me to...landon didn't want me to help with his crush...you guys don't want me to help with this...I'm good at handling dangerous stuff...I'm not...dumb..".

He wasn't wrong...Mason handled tough stuff more often then most should at his age.

But Judas couldn't risk it.

"Mason...".

"Can't you find some way to let me in?I know mom and dad got mad at you but it wasn't your fault...I wanted to join...it was me! But when i tell them that they still punish you instead and-...", Mason was mad and were those...tears? Mason tended to be a rather chipper young prince, usually making everyone around him happy almost by just being there, he was rarely acting somewhat like a brat. Where he cries or threw temper tantrums, not unless what bothered him was REALLY bothering him.

Like his plants or his brothers.

Judas had to place a finger to his lips to shush his brother before his words got the attention of those around them, ushering mason to the side, "I know you're upset mason, and you have ever right to be upset...but there's nothing I can do...and they're partially right...you're still my younger brother and i...I shouldn't be putting you in danger...if something happens to you it'll be my fault...mason you're tough and competent, but it's out of my hands and you know it...".

"Mom and Dad aren't going to let me...they don't trust me...you trust me...don't you?", he was giving him those brown soft puppy eyes, and it was hard to say no, but judas had to stand his ground. "Well of course i trust you...but...mason this is serious...you know it. Angel...he almost died...you could've witnessed it because of me...". mason was tapping his foot and he still looked upset, but he couldn't argue with judas there, despite how stubborn he was being.

"Mason...why is this so important to you?".

"Because you all see me as a little kid...mom and dad definitely do, they don't trust me to take care of my garden like i used to...and i can't even go in like before...my plants miss me...I just...I'm tired of you all doing all this stuff and leaving me out because i'm 13...sunny's 14 and you let her do all this stuff!". Judas got down on his knees, trying his best to explain this how he could, "Sunny is a powerful magic user...and...you're still my little brother...".

"But..she's our sister...right?".

Judas was slightly taken aback, never hearing mason address sunny as being technically their sister before this point.

"It's not fair and you know it...".

Judas was silent.

"Maybe we can find something for you...but...nothing that puts you in well...the action...ok?", he watched as mason's eyes lit up, his tense shoulder releasing themselves as he wrapping his arms around his brother in a hug, his wings following. "Thank you so much! I promise i'm gonna do a great job! Anything you want, you got me!", it was at least nice to see his brother in a good mood again, smiling and being as giddy as he usually had been.

"Just...don't do anything rash...ok?".

"Nah, not something i like doing...that's more landon's thing...".

Mason hugged the boy tighter, smiling as his wings flapped outwards, nearly hitting some of those around him, "Oh and uh...can i ask you something? I uh...i'm worried i made fae mad...and she doesn't want to talk to me anymore because of it...cause well I was...I just needed someone to talk to and...",He ears seemed to droop, "Is she mad at me? She...". Judas simply blinked at him, landon hadn't gone into too much detail about mason and fae talking to him other then "They did and that's how mason ran into us".

Though his brotherly instincts kicked in quick, looking around for anyone who may of been watching, "Mason...you're allowed to talk about your issues...now maybe fae wasn't the perfect person to talk to, especially since maybe you didn't know each other well when you started...but it's ok to get it out...". He stopped himself, thinking about how he stopped himself from talking about his arm not that long ago, "I don't think fae hates you...but maybe later you both could form a proper friendship soon, by just talking to each other without so much baggage, ok?".

"You think so?".

"Yeah, if you need to talk...talk to me...maybe you could do something nice for fae as a sign you want to be friends for real?".

"Like...flowers?".

"Well...I guess?", though considering what he knew, those flowers might not last long in her hands. The gesture still seemed nice though, mason didn't really have friends of his own all that much and it seemed fae, for whatever reason...was someone he wanted to be friends with. "Mason, just be careful...if she doesn't want to be friends, that's ok too. Don't take it personally if she doesn't want to really hang out...ok? I...I just want you to-".

"Judas...".

"Right, treat you more like an adult, less like a kid...alright...but still...be careful.", mason smile, "Thanks judas!". Judas stood up, ruffling his brother's hair. "It's good to see you smile again mason...i missed seeing it.". Mason's wings fluttered, though he quickly turned around and noticed the down spider currently being comforted by sky. "Is he going to be ok? Maybe you should go over there and...make him feel a little better? He seems happier with you around...".

"Angel doesn't have a lot of people looking out for him...at least not in terms of friends...i hope me and sky can make whatever might happen easier for him.".

Though he seemed unsure, it was clear he didn't want to admit it.

Would Angel really be ok? Sure, they sorta seemed to cheer him up, but...if things went south, there was no telling what would happen from there.

Mason nodded towards him, "You should talk to him, he'd appreciate it...ok?".

"I'll see you later mason? Ok?".

Mason smiled wider, "I'll see you later!".

He was quickly ushered off by a guard, insisting he return to bed immediately as judas's attention was returned to his friends. Though he was quickly stopped however, as the door opened behind him, Queen Star coming out and getting everyone's attention, the guard even stopping so mason could listen. "Alright everyone, the scare is over...the queen is still breathing, she's still alive...Queen Spiderbite is looking into solutions more heavily...though there is some feeling back into her body it seems...".

"There is?", Angel looked up from his pouting mess as Star coughing into her fist, "Well i mean, she sorta kinda bursted with magical energy cause you meddled on magic so much for your species, well that and...she's in butterfly castle...one of the biggest places she could get some magical exposure...especially if she were around a butterfly so often...". Sky felt eyes placed on her, and she wasn't really sure how to react, though her mom quickly moved on.

"Anyways, her magic growth seems to be almost healing her...though not from us, we think she's using it to try to heal herself...unconsciously...however there's still work to be done...she's not a professional magic user and can't do it herself...she needs some more real treatments to help and something to help her memories...if we're going to save her we might have to go inside well...her mind to find the problem. Well actually. I have to go in her mind...".

"In her mind?", something about that seemed to disgust sky, not really wanting to know where this was going.

"I've done it before in my mind, it's not THAT bad...besides...it's worth a look...", angel stoood up though, eyes darting at her, "When are you going? We can't waste anymore time on this, if there's a way to help you can't waste time...". But the queen was way ahead of him, "Which is why i'm going right now...i'm not sure if I can do anything...but it's worth a try to see what might be affecting her...especially memory wise...magic can't solve everything...sadly...".

"Thanks...".

Star smiled at Angel before heading back inside, the spider prince's eyes lingering on the door with hope.

"I think mom's grown kinda fond of you since you..well...yeah", Sky said, not really looking at Angel, "Honestly, the fact you kinda changed her mind at all is pretty impressive...". The prince watched as the crowd started to disperse a little, katrina still talking on her compact nearby. "I'm not leaving this spot till she gets back...I want to hear the results...", he took a seat nearby and judas and sky took his sides, keeping to themselves mostly as sunny, galexia, and celeste sat around then, talking on occasion.

Mason having already been sent back to bed.

Katrina was finished awhile later, looking tired as she rubbed her temple.

"Sorry about that...it took longer then i thought it would...turns out my partner's mission ain't going as well as expected...ugh what a mess...", she looked over the kids there before forming a puzzling expression, "Hey, Prince Landon didn't show up did he? All of you arrived...but not him?". Celeste could only grumble, "Hey, i'm not his alarm system...I kinda had to see what the commotion was about! Whether he kinda shows up or sleeps in is up to him...".

"Hmm...i'm going to check up on him...".

She motioned for a guard nearby to watch the kids as she headed down the hall, time further passed as angel stared at the door, hard. He was waiting for anything to come back, sky was partially upset she wasn't going to see what her mom was seeing, but then again going into someone's mind was really only good for one person, the more people in the mind, the faster the mind starts getting wonky. Minds just weren't made to hold a bunch of people inside of it frankly.

And after yesterday, her hype on anything that involved her possibly dying was pretty much something she wanted little to do with for the time being.

"Couldn't give us a night of sleep...", she mumbled, rubbing at her face and yawning, "We had to go right into more issues...". Though at the same time she felt slightly at fault, "Ugh...i know constant exposure to magic and magical people has an effect on mewmans and fellow magical creatures sometimes...but i never saw this coming!". But Angel nodded to himself, "I did...well..not exactly this but...when magic started slowly returning thanks to...her, all my kind could feel something different even if they didn't know why...but...I didn't want my dad to find out what i was doing...so i kept it to a minimum so maybe he wouldn't suspect anything...or at least, I asked for it to slowly return so it felt natural".

"You didn't expose your parents to it?".

"I'm not stupid...i wanted to make things easier but not by the flick of a switch...i wanted it to gradually make an impact...I didn't want anyone to know what i was doing...we don't just lack spells, we lack practice...and the access to learn...we're not as strong as we used to be so long ago. Mom had never been exposed to such power until i started that plan and well...she ended up here...but because she's...it's affecting her different...she's trying to help herself without experience...".

"Can you heal? Like your species I mean?", Celeste grumbled, motioning to her disguised wand.

"Yes...well..with wounds at least...not that it's easy...we used to do it i think...healing is easier said then done...if you screw up, you make it worse...it's why...It scares me what mom might do if she's using magic unconsciously...". The group around them seemed surprised Celeste spoke up at all considering her reputation, though there seemed to be a line of worry over her face she couldn't hide. Even behind that grumpy face, she did have a heart.

"I'm...big on healing magic...", she mumbled, "Not something i really wanted to be...but...I...well...I got into fights...a lot...and...learning magic just helped...hiding the bruises...it's...not easy to learn...sometimes nothing happens and something it just makes it hurt more...it hurts to watch...watching her try and fix herself like that...she really wants to...feel better...". Was celeste starting to cry a little? Hard as ice celeste? She wiped at her eyes.

She noticed everyone looking at her funny and she turned away, going back to her usual self and hiding her face.

"I...don't like seeing people in pain...", she seemed to be struggling to keep herself together, her arms shaking a little.

Angel was distressed but a small smile was on the corner of his lips, "She's fighting back...to see me and dad and again...".

He seemed touched despite everything, even if he was worried it was clear his mother was trying to save herself for a reason despite her weak state. Though then again it was also entirely possible she didn't know what she was doing and her body was doing it instinctively. Though whether that was the case of it was the other reason it was terrifying and made his heart jump, though the teens around him were going out of their way to ease him wherever they could.

Sky especially.

"She really loves you...".

Now it was angel's turn to cry, but more of joy then sadness this time.

"Yeah...yeah she does...".

Star suddenly then burst through the door, breathing heavily as Janna and Queen Spiderbite followed after, "Angel! We need you in here!". The queen didn't even hesitate as she grabbed the boy by the arm and tugged him out of his seat. The boy himself bewildered as he was tugged inside the room, Sky quick to follow after him before anyone could stop her, the guards failing to grab her in time before she ran inside to see what was going on. The sick queen didn't look any different then when they last saw her, but Star quickly placed angel next to her, placing his mother's hand in his.

"Talk to her."

"I'm sorry...what?", the boy's face looked utterly puzzled, but Star seemed frantic and tried her best to get herself together and not lose her patience.

"Her memories are super fuzzy...like SUPER fuzzy...I need someone she knows to try and jog her memory a little if possible, and you're the closest...your father says she reacts to you on occasion while in this state...so maybe...", the prince seemed to see where she was going with this, though he always welt up being around his mom, and looking at her face. It was so hard to look at her like this, and he ended up gripping her hand with his two now.

"Mom...can you hear me?".

Star quickly laid down on the far end of the wing, placing a hand to her head and whispering something, which sky could only assume was whatever spell she was suing to enter the monster's mind as the sick queen's forehead started to light up. Jeez, her mom really was stressing out to fix this mess wasn't she? Sky looked over to see Angel busy with his mom as she approached her own to see if she was ok, her mom was transferring her subconscious into Arana's and that alone was pretty risky and as her cheeks lit up, sky could suddenly feel her own start to light up as well.

"Princess Butterfly!", Suddenly one of the nurses noticed Sky near the queen and before Sky could react, she found herself...in the spiderbite forest?

Well, it looked like the forest, but also not the forest, there were things around there that shouldn't be there. Like certain homes, trinkets, picnic basket, and it felt sky puzzled until she noticed a photo on the ground of a familiar spider monster...as a small baby. She could hear her mom screaming nearby, and sky noticed some elements turning whiter and fuzzy before becoming normal again, as if the world was on the verge of collapsing on itself.

"I'm in arana's mind...oh nooooo", she must've somehow gotten pulled in herself and that was not good at all. She only intended to make sure her mom was alright, she didn't plan to go inside the mind of the queen next to her. It happened so fast, as if sky had walked into another room, she was there and now she was...here. Or at least, her subconscious was here, and the only way she could get out was to find the spellcaster to let her out before things got worse.

She had to find her mom, fast.

"MOM!", she called out, running through the forest of the queen's memories...the place was jumbled with different elements from different memories, was this how most minds were on the inside? Jumbled and confused? Though as Sky roamed through the world and called out to her mom, she could hear angel's voice, his voice...well it seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. It echoed throughout the world, the boy talking to his mother with some difficulty.

"I'm sorry mom...sky...um...she collapsed on the floor just now...she's my friend...I hope you get to meet her soon.".

Collapsed huh? Guess it figures that's what would happen to her body, it must've literally fallen to the floor while her mind transferred. She could only imagine how shocking that'd be for angel, and just hoped he was focusing at the task at hand and hadn't lost focus. Hopefully at the very least someone moved her body off the floor, last thing she needed was to find her body on the hard and cold floor as soon as she woke up from this complete mess.

She called out louder this time, the memories around her getting hazy and then reappearing, sometimes the world even seemed to be teleporting, things moving from one place to another. It was a surreal experience, like time and space was moving and changing constantly around her while almost not changing at all. Though she really couldn't take the time to admire it, wondering where her mom was in all of this, though a voice made her pause.

Turning to spot a rather young child, perhaps 6, playing alone.

And if the legs weren't a dead giveaway, his tiny nervous expression was.

A child Angel.

He was by his lonesome, playing with some toys in front of him at what looked like a picnic of all things. Was this a memory where angel was actually alone? Or was his mother supposed to be here with him and was elsewhere for the time being? Regardless, he looked a little nervous and scared being alone, and sky was left wondering if he knew he was a memory or even if he was bothered by any of the things happening around him in this strange mind world.

"Hello?", can memories of people react to her in here? Or did they stay in their respective memories? Though the fact the boy looked up at her signified that yes, it seemed he could hear her. Though seeing a tiny child angel and hearing his voice throughout this world, talking to his mom was only adding to the strangeness of the situation. "Uh...hi? I'm uh...looking for my mom, it's very important...she's blonde, probably has her hair in buns...blue eyes?".

The child seemed to gap at her, Sky wondered if he recognized her as well...herself, but a lot older looking.

She forgot how shy Angel was as a kid, always gaping close to his mother. Not like the moody teen she knew him more as, he looked too nervous to even talk to her. She it her lip as she got on one knee, she needed to find her mom before things got worse and tiny memory angel was her best bet right now. "Heya...I uh...I lost my mom, we got separated on accident...I could really use your help...to find her. You uh...you really love your momma right?".

The child's ears flicked, surprisingly, this memory of angel was not suffering like some of the other memories were on occasion. He simply nodded a little at Sky and she held out her hand, "I'm...Sky...we're uh...it's going to be ok...we're going to be good friends...I mean i'm sure the memory of me you have know you probably think of me more as a small girl who tags around judas a lot...but...right now? We're friends...strange ones...but...i'm here for you...ok?".

The boy blinked at her, "Skyler butterfly?".

So he did recognize her; Was that good or bad under these circumstances? Either way if she wanted out of her she needed to make sure she didn't scare him off and gained his trust. She bent down to his level, trying her best smile and did her best to not freak him out during what almost looked like the end of the world around them to a degree. God judas was so much better with kids then she was, but for now she'd just have to make the young boy feel as secure as she could.

"Yeah...me, if..you help me find my mom..i'll help you find yours...is that ok?".

He looked to her and her hand before nodding and reaching out, wow...he was solid, he felt really there.

They stood up together and Sky almost seemed delighted to see the young child trust her, though who knows if the real angel at this age would've done so or not. This was a memory after all, and it could be shaped by the mother's mind, but regardless...sky felt a sense of relief. The young monster took the lead, walking around and holding onto her hand rather tight, his favorite toy under one of his arms, using his much smaller spider legs to go a little faster as she caught up with him.

This place was endless, in fact it probably did go on forever considering it was someone's mind rather then an actual land. It's almost constant changing of even the smallest details would make it almost impossible to navigate through and who knows where he mother went. Though Sky could still hear her Angel talking to his mother, his voice still coming through, though the child didn't really pay it no mind, more interested in the task at hand then that.

That or...maybe he just couldn't tell there was anything wrong like Sky could.

Though soon enough, she could hear someone else in the near distance, egging the child to lead her to whoever that was, whether it was her mom or not, she needed to find out for sure.

The boy led her through the memories, before showing Sky a clearing and sure enough, her mom was there. Digging around for what she was looking for, though it seemed their sudden appearance startled her, the queen nearly blasting them before stopping herself. "Oh jeez...more memories...wait...why would my daughter be interacting with the memory of a child angel...?", she was going to be in trouble but granted this one wasn't entirely her fault.

Then the queen seemed to come to a realization rather fast, "Wait...memories of you two from different time periods interacting? That wouldn't happen unless...you're not a memory are you...". She looked at Sky with surprise and frustration, her eyes looking at her to the boy next to her. Before looking around the memory world, as if to check and see if it was doing any worse then when she first arrived in it not that long ago. Then looked back at her daughter's apologetic face.

"So...yeah...I might of ended up joining you...sorry...I was just trying to check on you and then I just popped in...not like I was supposed to know i could get sucked in by just being NEAR you!".

"Sky! I separated myself for a reason! If you get in proximity of me you would end up sent with me and...actually I didn't warn you about that did i? Ok ok, fine fine...we'll just send you out of here real quick before it gets any worse and...hold up...". The Queen took a closer look at the tiny child version of the prince who was still speaking to his mother on the other side, "He's...not glitching like the other memories here...he's...physical...he's the most intact memory i've seen so far...".

Sky looked over to the child angel, who was tilting his head up at both of them.

He was rather stable, stable enough that she could hold his hand right now, though at the time she didn't really question it, she was just looking for help and he was the only memory she could speak to for the time being.

"I did think it was weird he seemed entirely normal compared to a lot of the other stuff in here...is that good?", Star smiled, "I think he's exactly what i needed, thanks hun...". Though she looked excited, the small memory child didn't, backing away and hiding behind sky in fear, surprising Star. "Er...mom...mind telling me exactly what you need him for? I mean, he's a memory of angel but he's still technically a kid and we probably don't wanna y'know...hurt him".

"No no no, nothing like that...but with a solid memory like him, maybe we could stabilize the others!".

"Stabilize? Mom, what's happening in here exactly?".

But Star wasn't paying much attention, "Just stay close...maybe with two magic users we'll be more effective...but we have to do it soon because it's bad enough having one here, having two in here is too much for the mind...and don't lose the boy...". Sky kept a close grip on the boy as her mom started digging through the bushes of the memory forest, Sky completely puzzled in what she was doing. Did her mom find out what they could do to cure her memory loss?

Or was this an experiment?

Yeah her mom fixed stuff on the fly before but this time Sky was here to see it and it was a little more...personal to her.

Especially as she felt the boy clutch close to her.

"Mom...hey...maybe I should leave...like now...well, after i find his mom...I kinda promised...it's her mind so i'm sure there's a memory of her around here somewhere...", she looked around the area but Star wagged her finger, "No no no, we don't have time...don't worry dear, your mom has done crazier stuff then this, the fact he's stable means despite the memory loss...she has a clear memory of her son...even if it is him as a little boy...i think with him we might be able to use magic and stablize her memories more...it might not fix everything...but it'll make sure she holds on a lot longer...the spiderbites on the other side are seeing if they can work out a better healing solution for her body...they thought it best I worked on the mind...".

"Mom...I mean like, you sure?".

"I have to try...right? It's my job as queen and...I failed them...I can't fail them any further...".

Then she paused, "I promise the boy will be ok, we're only spreading his stability, it shouldn't hurt him...just because I know you'd care if it did." It did seem to reassure Sky though paused, it was the first time they had a proper one on one since well...everything blew up, and the tension as still there. She wondered what her mom was thinking about all this, what she had questions about, if she had her own suspicions she wasn't telling sky or anyone for that matter.

"It seems like you're changed your mind a lot on stuff...since everything happened...".

Sky stood there as Star turned around to face her.

"We...have a lot to talk about...when this is over...don't we?"

"Yeah...We do...".

"Y'know...for the record...you and judas really have had an effect on that boy, he used to be so spoiled, going on about wanting to travel back and time and fixing things and talking more princely and fancy and calling his mom and dad "Mother and Father"...now...he's dressed like more of a normal kid...he's less mean...he's more...like you. I'm honestly not sure how we got to this point but...i'm impressed you really...did have an affect on him", sky looked to the kid and nodded.

"Well...I think the truth is...angel was probably putting up a facade to mask how he really felt...and the more time he spent around us the more that mask wore off...he seems a lot less of a jerk and just...a sad kid whose desperate to make things right. And honestly...me and judas were kinda mean to him too...for awhile...we...all had some growing up to do...and I think we still do...I mean...I did taze him and...now...I...really don't use the tazer at all...I think a lot has happened...since that ball...".

"I would imagine so...but for the record...I think i had a little growing up to do as well...that maybe I was also too harsh...I spent years fixing everyone's problems skyler...it was a lot of pressure for me...it still is...even now...I...I'm a little tired I guess...of feeling like I have to fix everything our ancestors did...and judas told me once...that maybe it was wrong of me to be putting a bunch on you and i called him out for it. But...he's right...you shouldn't have to go through the stuff I did sky...i'm going to help see if I can fix this...and...I want...to make up for well...being such a brat...".

"Maybe we outta save this for after we somewhat help?", sky nodded to the world around them, phasing in and out and more rapidly then usual.

"Right...good...lil angel? may i take your hand?".

The older woman reached out for the small memory boy, and sky nodded to him to say it was ok. Angel carefully placed his palm on star's hand, Sky taking the other. "Now dear...this won't hurt him at all, promise...we'll talk more on what I found when we get out of here...for now...just repeat after me...if we do this correctly...then we might be able to stabilize her mind for the time being and keep her memories clearer and more intact. Just like he is...ok?"

"You think she might be able to talk to us if we do?".

"It's a possibility...".

Sky took a deep breath, reassuring the memory next to her as her mother looked to her with trusting eyes.

"Memory Lost, Memory gain, spread the thought, remove the pain", Star chanted, Sky encouraged to chant along with her. She felt the boy grip their hands tighter as they began chanting, and Sky desperately hoped her mom knew what she was doing. If luna were here maybe she'd know what to do, especially with he uncomfortable knowledge of memory charms , but all she could do was trust her mom knew what she was doing before things got messy.

And sure enough, the boy next to them seemed to be glowing, the glow spreading from him to the world around them.

The memories the glow touched, even if it was a small amount, were starting to stop their bugging out, becoming more solid memories. The trees looked like solid trees, items stayed in place, everything seemed to almost reach a state of normally. Almost, it was still a jumble of memories after all, but at least things were not fazing in and out like a broken television. The boy himself seemed almost clam and relaxed, he felt somehow safe with them watching over him.

It...was working, even if it was slight.

Sky was feeling a little out of breath as she felt the boy's hands tug away from her, almost falling to the ground as she mom stood her up and looked at the work around them. "He must be a strong memory to help repair so much...if only it wasn't temporary...but still, it's better then nothing...", Sky blinked and tried to get herself together before another figure walked into the scene, the little boy running over to see them. Leaving the two Butterflys behind to hug the mysterious figure.

"What...who?", sky rubbed her eyes and tried to get a closer look, the figure coming more into shape.

It was Arana herself as a memory, easily grabbing her son and holding him close to her. She was so young and so...beautiful, she didn't look ill or weak or anything. Her hair done, as light pink as ever, all her legs functional, her pink face and marking as natural as ever. Her white dotted eyes had so much life into them, like the queen Sky remembered from all those past balls and dances when they were all really young kids. She held onto her tiny son lovingly and it made sky stop in her tracks.

It looked so sweet and tender , but it also felt sad.

Star noticed before an aura spawned on her palm, "We better go...before things get worse with us here...".

"Wait!", Sky said quickly, removing herself from her mom to run over to the mother and son, the memory woman stopped for her, her smile seeming thankful. "Queen Arana...i know you're just a memory but can you tell me...anything...of how to help you? You're sick and having a hard time functioning and no one knows how to help you and...your son...he wants you back...". The Queen seemed to blink at her in surprise, and Sky wondered if this was a bad idea.

This could be a memory of her years ago and therefore she'd have no idea what sky was talking about whatsoever.

But then, she smiled and for the first time in a long while, she spoke, "All i need is him...and I need you to keep him strong...". She held the boy close to her, "Tell him when you get back out there...that I love him so much...".

"If-no...When you get back out there...you can tell him yourself", Sky said back, "And don't worry...I will...and you'll see that when you see him again...".

She felt her mother run up behind her and touch her shoulder and everything went white.

She found herself waking up in a bed, she had been most likely moved here after she collapsed and as she sat up angel turned to look at her. He'd clearly been worried despite spending the situation mostly speaking to his mother, though sky gave him a reassuring smile. Her mom woke up shortly, and before everyone could properly thinking about what happened...the unconscious queen moved a little. Her mouth coughing before she finally said something.

"Angel...".

This seemed to even freak out Queen Spiderbite, who looked to the Mewman queen in disbelief.

Angel started to cry, tears leaking from all of his eyes.

"I think there's something more to this illness then meets the eye...we've been thinking about it purely as like...one of those regular sicknesses mewmans get, and I think we've been thinking about it all wrong", Star said, "We...had to stabilize her memories before they blinked out of her mind, but that's not just it...she can't...get her mind and body to work together properly, it's hard for her to speak or move or do much of anything like she used to...she's strong and trying to push through it but she seems to lack control of her own body...at least, for the most part...I think what's making her sick might be a mind parasite...".

"Mind parasite?".

The mere mention of it sent shivers down everyone's spine, Star speaking rather gravely, more serious then she had ever been.

"Magical things, rare to run into...when they go through your skin and infect you they attempt to take over your body by killing the mind and soul...but it's a lengthy process and i think Arana has been fighting back so much it's been unable to finish it's goal...and making her weaker...the best way to cure it is to draw the bug out and then see if we can repair her and help her properly heal from there...the real question is how she came into contact with one of those in the first place...".

"I know how!", Suddenly in a burst of energy, Jackie came into the room, covered in liquid magic and pudding cups dropping from her armor, "Your majesty! One of the missions I was out taking care of awhile back involved tracking down some illegal items being sold between dimensions...Mind Parasites were one of them...they don't traditionally come from mewni, they come from another dimension...they're typically sold as a way to infect and kill off enemies in a subtle way...especially since it can easily hide itself as an illness...".

Star seemed more then welcome for Jackie to return, giving her a large hug, "JACKIE! Oh god this mess has been so bad I completely forgot to brush on all the stuff you got into on your missions! Everything's been such a hassle but i'm so glad you're ok! ". Star looked over the queen, who wasn't speaking, but looked at least a smidge better then she did an hour ago, "We need to find a way to draw that bug out...and soon...Penelo-". Queen Spiderbite stepped forward, raising a hand to quite the queen, "I know...but...I think i might have an assistant on that...".

Nora stepped forward, still in shock of her mother actually allowing her to assist her on this matter, coughing into her hand and trying to keep eye contact and resist covering her face.

"I...in my research...I did notice her actions did seem a little more strange then usual illnesses I ran into...I uh...well...I talked to angel a lot while we were in here together...and well...his kind likes to eat bugs...it's a major part of their usual diet in their kingdom. I think it's entirely reasonable the queen ended up with one being served to her and because it's not from here...she didn't know what it was...and it entered her and slowly took her over...making her sick...".

"How much have you had on finding a cure?".

"Well..I didn't know about the parasite until just now...I thought i was looking at it as a natural illness...but as an illness provoked by a living thing...that explains why i was having such a hard time trying to get my notes in order and why things didn't entirely line up...she's still sick but the sickness has a clear source and has affects on her that i couldn't explain before...If I could learn more about those things...if that is what's happening...we might be able to figure out what to do soon...".

"Perfect...Queen Spiderbite?".

The mewman queen sighed, pinching her nose, "It does explain a lot frankly...I was trying a few safe remedies on her and some results were not working...not to mention even my notes were jumbled and trying to come up with a solution with the tools we had seems harder then usual...but if there is something in her making her sick...we can draw it out...and then see what we can do from there...most likely her body would still be affected regardless...we...have work to do...".

"As long as we have some time...and I think we might...as long as she holds in there...".

Angel took his mom's hand as people started to clear out a little, Queen Spiderbite leaving, then Jackie, followed by Queen Star to speak to her and get her updates...then Queen and King Lucitor who had been watching over the situation, and as the adults headed out, judas and the others were let more back in. Nora luckily was still allowed to be here, to monitor further spread on Queen Arana, and Judas looked more then relieved at the sight of them.

"I heard...you guys might have a solution...?"

"We might...", it was still a theory on the matter, they needed to try drawing it out to prove it for sure, but it was still something.

"That's...fantastic...", Judas seemed to be letting out air from his body he never knew he had, going in for the hug, "After you went in I tried to go in but they refused...I was worried when you didn't get sent back out...but you...I hear you were amazing...!". Sky snickered, face red, "Oh nah...I just did what i normally did, stumble into stuff by accident...I had no idea that memory of angel would do anything I just...wanted some help..that's all..".

"You and your mom worked together!", he sounded so excited, and super proud as well.

"Yeah...I guess we did...", now that she thought about it, her and her mom worked together to save someone, and her mom let her help, it was...hard for sky to explain how she felt about that after so much rejection before.

Judas hugged her for a little longer before tapping her shoulder, "Someone wants to speak to you". Sky quickly turned to see Angel, and he was...smiling, he'd been looking for hope for so long and had been losing it for so long, and he'd never been so hopeful before in his entire life. He looked like he was about ready to kiss her he looked so happy, though he seemed to manage to pull himself together just enough to ask her something. "Did...you meet her in there...at all? Did she have anything to say?".

"Well...she wants you to be strong for her and well...let's save the rest so she can tell you herself when she properly is able to...", Sky felt herself smile, "But then again, I think you probably have a good idea what she said...don't you?".

Angel nodded, smiling affectionately, "Yeah, yeah I do.".

"KIDS!", The door burst open for what felt like the 7th time that day, Katrina back, with Landon in tow. At first scaring everyone in the room before crossing her arms and putting landon out front, "Found Pink over here covered in magic...". Landon huffed, rubbing his arm, "I didn't GO anywhere...I swear! I just wanted to check out what Star and Jackie found when they got back and well...look at it myself! It's not my fault the stuff was covered in this junk!".

Sure enough, looking the boy over he had remains of magic on his person, he almost looked as if he had swam in the stuff. Judas looked a little worried, sky looked confused, and most of the rest seemed to follow in her footsteps. Though landon himself seemed embarrassed to have been caught and outed like this in front of everyone, it was like he was a troublesome teenager and these were all his parents looking down on him with disappointment.

"Landon...what happened?".

Celeste crossed her arms and tapped her fingers, shooting the boy a knowing glare which he responded with his own irritated expression.

"Look, I only went to look at their research and what they found, everyone left so I thought it was a good chance...that's it! I almost got away with it too...until she caught me going back into my room...", he snorted as Katrina shook her head in disappointment, "You're not supposed to handle that stuff...magic is dangerous enough when you use it...getting covered in the stuff can have affects on you if you're not careful...tis not the time to be snooping around pinky.".

"I was just trying to find out what they had so I could y'know...get closer to solving this? I wanted to be the first to look at it...", everyone was sending him looks but what did they expect? He'd already been investigating on his own before this point, was it really that weird now? For all he knew their parents might not have said squat, so he took advantage of the situation to get a look. What was so weird about that? Well, it seemed to weird out the rest of the group.

Or at least, the fact he did this without them, on his own, just annoyed them.

"Landon...".

"What? I was just helping...".

Judas shook his head, "We'll talk later...for now...we all should try and get some needed rest after well...what happened...we're all tired and we all need some energy...". That at least was something everyone could agree on, Katrina watching the door as the kids, Sunny, Celeste, Landon, and Galexia included...found a place to rest nearby. It almost felt as if Katrina was putting everyone into a nap time, as if it were preschool, despite it being clear landon sure didn't want to be here.

Especially with how Judas and Celeste were looking at him specifically right now.

Judas turned to get some proper rest after such a long day, choosing to confront him about it more after they've slept, though Celeste was more then awake by the looks of it. Everyone snuggling under their covers nearby, exhausted, with Celeste looking at landon as if he were a disobedient child. There was no way she was going to sleep like this and neither was he, he crossed his arms and eyed the floor in front of them, not even looking at his friend/kinda sister.

"I didn't break our agreement...", he muttered under his breath, "It wasn't dangerous or anything...I was just looking...". Celeste grumbled but didn't argue further, he wasn't wrong, he didn't break their agreement so she technically had little to be mad at him about. Though perhaps the reason the girl was annoyed had less to do with their agreement and more to do with him going without her. However for now she just tired headed to a nearby mattress to rest, thankful this wing was rather empty.

Mostly to keep the queen safe, but still, better they didn't have a wing full of other people to worry about.

Though it was a little hard to sleep for some.

Angel for one, as he sat at his mother's bed, no desire to sleep after the events of tonight. And despite sleeping through the action, Sky joined him after, not taking a chance she'd sleep through something like that again. The last couple mostly being Landon...and Celeste, Celeste glaring at him as if he told her something terrible. He kept to himself, trying to sleep, but with little luck, sitting up and mumbling. "It's not a big deal ok? I...I just wanted to look, to feel useful...".

Celeste continued to grumble, her normal pouty mood more sour then usual.

"I don't get why you're still mad...I didn't go against our promises...it would help if you just came out with it...instead of boxing yourself up like you always do...", she didn't answer though and he tugged on the blanket. "Look...i'm sorry I went without you...there was no time to ask for help...this just...I just want to be useful...". He peered around to see if anyone was listening in before speaking, "Of course this still matters to me...I...I can't help it...".

"I don't care that you didn't take me...I just think...you don't need to prove yourself to anyone...and need to go on some epic chase and hunt to find yourself...you think so little of yourself...that you feel the need to do all this crazy stuff...I...wanted to help to get home and stuff but I can't tell if you care more about getting me home...or being better then your brother...It feels like no matter what people tell you...whatever advice they give...you just ignore it.". Landon hissed, "Well I can't tell if you even want to go back...you seem to hate your home every time you talk about it...".

"Of course I hate it...going back home...isn't...fun...but...I...I have someone...I need to go back to...".

"For...real?".

"Yeah...".

"Are-".

"Go to sleep landon...".

Celeste pulled the covers over herself, blocking the demon out as he laid back down, thinking to himself.

He clutched at the covers under him, was he really taking this whole thing too far? Trying to solve this whole thing before anyone else can?

Angel ears flickered in curiosity at their conversation, but his main focus was on his mother, though sky's company was appreciated as well. She was probably still upset with him but at the same time, she still wanted to be by his side and there was no denying she cared deeply for him despite it. His hands twiddling as he looked at his mother as if expecting her to wake up any minute now, his eyes glancing to his companion who was watching next to him.

"Thank you...for helping...".

"Kinda couldn't do it without you...funny enough...so i guess in the end maybe you really will save her yourself...", Sky yawned, but she was clearly happy to be there, mind thinking about all the chaos that just happened.

"Really?", he seemed surprised, and rather curious, his ears flickering and somehow...he seemed touched even if he didn't know exactly what he did.

"Weirdly...yeah...you did actually help...", she simply shrugged, but gave the boy a pat on the back, "I guess if this works...then in the end, it wasn't all for nothing...you really did end up helping her."

They sat in silence next to each other, legs swinging off the side of the mattress, though the situation at hand raised on particular question.

"Sky...if mother...mom...really was...infected by a mind parasite...was it an accident...or do you think...someone sent it after her on purpose?".

It was a fair question, especially since that was what the bugs were typically used for...attacking their enemies subtly. Did someone have a reason to target the queen? Or was it really an accident? There was no telling at this point, they could only really focus on saving the woman for now. They'd had to worry about how it happened later, Though for now sky focused her attention to Angel, who had so much hope in his eyes that he was almost a different person.

"I'm not sure...it could be both...but...i'm sure we'll figure it out...", she reassured him with some pats on his hand, though he seemed skeptic, if only because who could say for sure what may or may not have happened. Regardless, his father would have quite a bit of a panic when the news would come in about this mess. Both scared and possibly even joyful, though for now sky just hoped they could remain thinking abut the good news then the terrifying bad news.

"Thank you...Skyler...".She nodded, smiling, looking at him before back to his resting mother.

Content being at his side after the mess they both had got into in the last 24 hrs, if they were ever going to get through this, they needed to work together. Though judging by their expressions, they didn't mind that all that much.

"You're welcome...Angelus".

#star vs the forces of evil #svstfoe #svtfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #janstar bby #tomco bby #ostar bby #tomstar bby #starco bby #fanfiction #fanfic #star butterfly #tom the demon #tom lucitor #marco #marco diaz #my art

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