#that book crippled me
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Aaaand kicking off the Discworld crossover series is a Flight of the Heron fic. A book I’m sure everyone in this blog has heard of and read. Believe me, I wanted to write a fix-it so bad, but sadly I am utterly incapable of writing stories that make people smile or bring joy. I’m still not over this book. But Death is one of my favourite characters in Discworld so, ya know, it’s a little nice. For me. And nobody else lol
Also, post-canon Monstrous Regiment is still kind of sad. Time to get angry (in the story, in the story!)
#could it be? me?? fic writing after 5 years??#and I only write 1 fic when I DID write#it was for a fandom that had me and 3 other ppl in it :’)#I NEARLY made this an Amelia Project crossover. because fuck me that ending. but I’ve already written quite a bit for this one sad fic#I would LOVE to write things that make people happy#idk what that says about me#I loved flight of the heron but dudes#that book crippled me#and like I said I love Death - very comforting character! - so this is completely for just me#I don’t think this will matter to anyone but me and that’s okay! (*crying* lol)#self conscious about my writing#my plan of attack is post these and then leave immediately
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So, in PIDW, there was obviously wife plots that could bring back the dead (mushroom body being one of them), and since we know Airplane is a hack that reuses concepts over and over, there’s probably multiple wife plots that could work, so like, where’s the PIDW fics where Liu Qingge somehow comes back to life, memories of Shen Jiu trying to save him intact, and goes to hunt the asshole down so he can repay his life debt, and along the way accidentally clears Shen Jiu’s name of all his crimes and now everyone is convinced Shen Qingqiu is a saint.
#I’m imagining this being around the time of the trial arc where lbh has sqq in the water prison and has probably already started his torture#maybe sqq is physically crippled after this or maybe lqg goes on a quest to get him a mushroom body either way it’ll be so much angst!!#sqq deserves to not be tortured okay?? because while child abuse isn’t okay neither is the cycle of abuse and also? I’m pretty sure other#peak lords treated their disciples worse you’re telling me lqg who apparently beat his disciples ritually every month or so was better??#ALSO? airplane is a confirmed hack and I don’t belive him when he’s the one telling use sqq is evil (he wrote the og book after all)#mxtx hell#mxtx fandom#liushen#liujiu#liu qingge#svsss shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss fandom#svsss#mxtx svsss#svsss au#sqq svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#svsss liu qingge#scumbag system#scum villain self saving system#danmei#pidw#proud immortal demon way#airplane shooting towards the sky
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If i see anyone posting bs like this its on sight
#are we perhaps on about a different neil? perhaps?#idk i felt kinda disgusted in the first half of the first book when he called kevin a cripple but das just me#aftg series#aftg tgr#aftg#aftg fandom#all for the game#neil josten#aftg neil
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There's advanced reading group in elementary school and then there's "you and literally one other kid get sent to a study room to read a high school level book" reading group.
And then you wonder why I'm so high achieving...
#yes this actually happened#in 5th grade me and other other kid got sent to a room with three other kids from the WHOLE school#to read boring high school books#they were still too easy btw#but yeah now I have crippling anxiety and am burnt out!#text post#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kid things
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I'm trying to see something
As a young person using a cane, I get a lot of people bringing up this guy Kaz Brekker from the teen book The Six of Crows unprompted. I'm wondering if this happens to all people with canes in English-speaking countries, or just me? I'm trying to understand the factors at play here.
Since the book is for kids and came out fairly recently, I'm saying it's more likely for people to say this if they're under 30.
#cripple posting#cripple punk#disability#cane user#<- trying to get cane users to answer please please please#kaz brekker#<- maybe fans of this book can explain me why he has a gorilla grip on public perception of canes#whispers of spoekelse
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Idk about other peoples opinions but I really hate the phrase 'differently abled'
Like disabled isn't a slur it's a description.
And I'm not 'differently abled', just cause I can't walk without my cane doesn't mean I can fly or smth
And I swear its always Able-bodied, neurotypical people that are saying this. Especially Mums of neurodivergent kids (specifically young ones like they have an autistic 6 year old), I swear they are always saying it like its a superpower, its just a state of existence Cathy I'm not superman.
I am disabled, I require aids and accommodations to functions at a lower standard than the average able bodied neurotypical person. I'm not saying being disabled or disability is a bad thing, a lot of times disability is neutral as long as you have the tools you need to adapt to a non disabled friendly society. There are positive and negative parts of being disabled and sure you can develop skills because of your disability but it doesn't mean that you are suddenly 'differently abled'. As well every disabled person, no matter if they have the exact same disability, will experience it differently and have varying opinions on it.
And I do get its mostly to combat this idea of disabled=inferior but we don't need to have that association. Just because there are things I can't do doesn't make my life less valuable, same for any other disabled person. Disabled doesn't mean less, it is a description and I think we need to remember that far more than calling disabled people 'differently abled'. Idk, it just feels like really weird advocacy that just pushes an ableist idea that disabled people can't just be disabled, you have to prove you have other worth otherwise you are worthless.
If you do use and like the term 'differently abled' for yourself or anyone you know uses it, I'm not saying that's bad. You can self identify that way, I just don't like it when people use it to describe me because it feels inaccurate and kinda performative. <3
#disabled#actually disabled#'Differently abled'#Don't like that term#Idk. I call myself a cripple a lot and maybe that worse but I hate this term#Tbf to me tho I was technically crippled by my condition. I can't walk without a mobility aid so at least its accurate#Also loads of random people on the street call me that me so why can't I?#(I say it in a jokey way tho and Im not calling anyone else that)#Anyway#One of my profs said that coca cola makes people have 'autistic tendencies'#And i truly don't know what she meant by that#Not gonna ask#Been thinking about ableism a lot lately cause I reread 'Of mice and men'#Love that book but I remember doing it in class and people saying that Lennie and the dog that got shot were similair#And the reason was that Lennie is as clever as a sheep dog and good for manual labor#And i was sat there horrified#They also just enjoyed screaming cripple across the classroom#Calm down#High school was terrible honestly#Like in R.E we were talking about prejudice and oppression#And we started talking about job discrimination against disabled people#And one kid started screeching my name#Yes I know I'm disabled calm down#Honestly scary
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Finally did some art for my good omens au, (yes i know im collecting aus like aziraphale collects books but oh well).
They are an angel and a demon on doods shoulders :)
I already have link finshed and am planing on drawing Taylor, Dood and Hermie as well.
Also just design notes/general thoughts:
Will saying Normal would dress vintage changed me so here he is in something vintage inspired, thought with the ever present sneakers i draw him in. I feel like he has a pupper shop or something, not quite sure, he is a mascot and local sport teams enthusiast. I should have incorporated more purple in his design to be honest, he does have some in his eyes. I feel like he uses 70s or 80s slang, generally just a word mishmash of generations. And in all his ethearnal years he has still not learnt to cartwheel.
Scary's design is mostly punk/metal/goth inspired, for once i opted for more red than purple, and brown in her hair. I decided to give her octopus eyes as a nod to her doodler connection. They are both older here (i think about mid 20s) so she gets to be even cooler than usual (she is my dress up doll for outfits i wanna wear but would be texture and comfort hell for me).
They are just besties here (sorry to my whatever their ship name is shippers im not a fan of the ship at all), and link taylor, dood and hermie will hopefully be coming shortly. As for plot stuff its good omens inspired with them trying to stop the apocalypse (idk who warlock is here, since dood is adam), its mostly show inspired since i have not yet finshed the book, and idk if plot is even really my concern i just like designing looks for diffrent situations.
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#normal oak#my art#scary marlowe#i am also wanting to draw a pirate and a cowboy au tho my time resources are limited#now i gotta go read a book for class since ive been procrastinating and i have till tomorrow#wish me luck#also my inside voice is basiclly johnathan sims now i am nearly finished with season 1 idk how#and my sudoku addiction is crippling :((((
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decided for every three books I read I can buy a book off my tbr and right now I have 3 1/2 books read + working through 2 more so if I manage to read 3 more on top of that by the end of week I can buy the 3 books I have saved in my cart that are 20% off if I buy them together
#vin.text#not girl math. worse man. delusion math#almost done with a short essay book by emma jung (so smart but crippled by the sexism of her time)#and working through kiss of the spider woman on my break#and I have medea at home waiting for me
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thought about sending this meme to my friend who hasn’t finished tgcf with the caption “it’s because Bai Wuxiang teaches him how to cook”
#tgcf#xie lian#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#I don’t know why the quality came out so bad#image got compressed for some reason 😭#when he ate his mom’s food for the last time…. that part. that part got me.#still thinking about sending the meme. haven’t done it yet. on one hand. it’ll be really funny esp once she gets to book four.#on the other hand. is it a spoiler to even insinuate that there’s a reason for xie lian’s bad cooking? that there’s something deeper to it?#because right now it’s a ‘haha that’s so funny and endearing’ character trait#it isn’t a ‘cripples you with sorrow whenever you think about it too hard’ character trait#but it will be…. it will be
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I've decided that writing Wylan is very fun and relatively easy for me, but it's also very soul-revealing becasue he has a deep desire to be perceived as competent and useful by the people he cares about the rest of the Crows and I unfortunately feel very seen about it :/
#me writing wylan: 'I see myself in the thoughts I'm making this poor boy think and I don't like it'#imo I lowkey think this is also why I've kinda...stayed away from writing jesper too often#wylan van eck#my writing#personal#writing wylan for my marya+kaz fic and the forced to choose fic#really is an exercise in restraint re: how deadpan 'you ever have those days where you think welp this might as well happen' I can make him#while also balancing his crippling self-doubt and sheer determination to prove himself#he's the closest thing to a normal kid we get in the SOC books and he's got such a big heart#but he's also out there defending his competence to a bunch of teenage criminals a few minutes after meeting some of them#and talking back to an enraged and bloody Kaz Brekker seconds after killing a man#icon. legend. we truly don't deserve him
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I am in hell and I have no idea what to do about it
#i need like#advice#or to be shot#preferably in the head so my suffering ends quickly#but like seriously who the fuck can i talk to about this except like#Phil Lester maybe#i need advice from someone in a 10+ year long relationship with someone with crippling anxiety#how do you maintain that level of whimsy when ur partner is doing everything in their power to be miserable#and thats not even a fair accusation against dan howell because at least he actively worked on himself#my partner meanwhile is sitting next to me wheezing because he can't go more than 40 seconds without hitting his vape#having an anxiety attack about something irrational and expecting me to just.. not saying anything about it?#drinking 6/7 nights a week and expecting me to be proud of you for being sober one night a week#when all you do that one night is complain about how u wish you were drinking#you claim you're not addicted to alcohol yet if you go longer than 30 seconds after your shift without a beer in hand you lose your mind#I'm just#I'm tired#I'm tired of watching this man blow all his money on vices and then complain he's poor#I'm tired of being his emotional support cane#he can't even be bothered to say congratulations when i finished my book#but i have to say exactly the right words to you when you're having a panic attack#THAT YOU HAVE MEDICINE FOR
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I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.
#i used to devour eight books a week up until I was about 22#i couldn't fathom leaving anything in the house unread#then it's like my brain maxed out#coincided with my cptsd manifesting in crippling depression‚ triggering my bipolar#and hitting that mid-20s adhd wall where all your coping mechanisms fall apart#it's just been getting worse ever since#i can no longer read anything but fanfic#i was able to make a great headway through alexis hall's work but then I fell into a hyperfixation again so#bye bye everything else#i couldn't read comics even when I was back to hyperfixating on comics#i can't absorb things and when I do I can't hold them in my head#i used to be able to pull out entire passages of my favourite books from memory#now I can barely remember what happened in them#sometimes i wonder whether it even mattered that i used to be such a voracious reader#sure it gave me writing skills but i was never able to do much with them because of the complete mental and physical breakdown#and people young enough to be my kids write better than I ever did#i still have the thirst and hunger for knowledge and stories#but no capacity for it at all#books#reading#just adhd things#actually adhd#burnout#book collection#knee of huss
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i'm gonna try to go to the tattoo artist tomorrow, i'm ANXIOUS
#like i know them and they are nice and all#but my anxiety tells me to not go#i hate it because it's just booking an appointment and yet i'm SCARED af#and i hate it because it's something i like to do but fear is crippling me over NOTHING#anyway who else has crippling anxiety?#marie talks to herself
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MOOD BOARD FOR ME RIGHT NOW AFTER FINDING OUT MY LIBRARY DONT HAVE THE SECOND LOCKWOOD AND CO BOOK
#its okay they have an e book BUT-#-BUT i will talk to staff tomorrow to request if they could loan the book from another LIBRARY#it will take a few weeks if I'm lucky but I can still get it :]]]#im just ... so so fucking desperate#lockwood and co#hot take i actually liked the series version of the Screaming staircase a bit more than the book-#- dont get me wrong i loved getting more details and extra cases where lockwood is a fuckin pathetic wet dog with an eggo to make up-#- for his crippling depression. i can never have enough of his bullshit#but the tv execution just majes a bit more logical sense
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ALSOOOOOOO i Finally got to ride a skateboard at the skatepark with bf n friends for the first time ever yesterday and i feel so 👀👀👌👌👌💯💯💯 i managed to be able to balance and push around and stop without falling and it was fun tbh!! i can see getting muscle memory and improvement by doing it consistently 😤 i just hope this aint too short of a phase for everyone so i can hopefully get me own board soon 🙏
#i kno i said i had to take it easy but it was the 4th i had to go out n live a little shhhhh#i think i skate goofy but it might be bc im left handed so its just How Its Gunna Be lmfao hopefully i'll see#theyve been starting to go there recently and a few ppl are thinking abt getting more boards and skates and ofc i Gotta get one#its practically required of me to get one AHA#being able to use my book smarts research abt footing and pushing with the right foot/ stopping without a tragedy was rlly cool#i havent fell yet but im dreading it bc that shit will be inevitable lolol its just a matter of when#it definitely takes confidence and intent and Brother i am but a teacup chihuahua#BUT that is the beauty of progress and improvement and courage#even if its just a couple months fad thing for them it would still be nice to at least get the experience#and get a better idea of what the hell my Entire story is about lmfao#i hate that it took me this long but its what i gotta do better late than never#i think i aint got crippling anxiety for everything and then i realize i cant do like 85% of things#i want to do in life AHAaa#its just one of them things i Gotta have someone do it with me so this opportunity fell into my lap and im ESTATIC#edit looked it up again and i DO NOT skate goofy i skate regualr HELL YEAH
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more books in the mail 😏
#agggtm#a good girls guide to murder#bookblr#book collection#i have a crippling addiction to buying these books#someone please help me
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