#that being said it's so fucking miserable lmao

[adelle-ein]

voting has gotten so stressful and miserable since 2020 now that i get snapped at by at least one poll worker every time i'm there

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[amorremanet]

Man, I realize demanding that someone execute their own brother is pretty fucked up, but He Xuan asking that of Shi Qingxuan still gave them more respect than Shi Qingxuan ever got from Shi Wudu [gave them the ability to make their own choice after finally being given the full story and enough context to actually have the capacity for informed consent, something that Shi Wudu spent centuries denying to Shi Qingxuan] and also, He Xuan did nothing wrong and should be allowed to do all the atrocities he wants, thank you for your time

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.

[cinnabeat]

its interesting bc natori is trying to protect natsume the only way he knows how and natsume is being confronted with things hes never had to before and hes learning a lot of things abt himself and his worldview

[askyofexplodingstars]

"Cancelling plans is like heroin" - John Mulaney

(Sebatian x reader, they're married)

[phagodyke]

one unfortunate thing abt watching bloody violent up-close-and-personal movies is that it makes me even more crazy touchstarved than usual after.. I need to wrestle someone NOW

[chrisbangs]

lol

[snekdood]

if me not being fake nice all the time is the reason ppl generally avoid me then whatever. id rather not walk around with a liar as a face.

[nostalgiabearr]

life is so good

☆ pairing: stonerbf!hyunjin x reader

☆ genre: smut, fluff MDNI 18+

☆ word count: 1k

☆ synopsis: it's been a hard week at work and you really need your boyfriend and a smoke sesh

☆ warnings: weed, smoking weed, unprotected sex (don't!), creampie, nipple play, hyunjin drives a truck lmao??

☆ a/n: y'all cannot tell me this hyunjin wouldn't at least smoke weed. also first work on here omg!! pls pls pls don't hesitate to give feedback

as the end of the week approached, you were feeling exhausted. work felt like it had taken up all your time this week and you barely got to see your lover. thankfully, he was all sprawled out on the couch seemingly lost in his own world. you always admired how he could find the positive in everything.

“hey baby,” you said, kissing him on his cheek to pull him out of his daze, “could we go on a drive? i really need a break.” drive and break were usually code words for i really need my baby and i really need weed.

hyunjin smiled as he leaned in for a full kiss and pushed himself up to embrace you. “of course my love. to the overpass?”

“you know me so well,” you said as you helped him up to his feet. on the way out, hyunjin grabbed some joints, and you stole his long hooded cardigan from him. he couldn’t help but notice your dangerously cropped tank and short shorts that barely left anything to the imagination, and you didn’t make it better by draping his clothes over it.

hyunjin helped you climb into the passenger side of his truck and made his way over to the other side to get going. when you two first started seeing each other, you always thought how odd it was that he owned a truck since he was the complete opposite of the typical truck driver. your opinion, however, changed real fast that first night he laid you down on the truck bed to stargaze and later fuck you. now you shared many nights with him smoking, eating, laughing, and fucking in that truck that it could not be a more perfect vehicle for him to own. tonight would be another one of those perfect nights with your perfect boy.

after a quick drive, you two were situated under your favorite abandoned freeway. nestled into the corner of the truck bed, hyunjin took out a joint, pressing it between your lips and flicking the lighter to life. as you took a long drag, hyunjin rested his head in your lap and gazed lovingly up at you.

“tell me what’s wrong baby?” he said before stealing a hit of the joint himself. It was always so easy to open up to him regardless of his carefree nature. hyunjin knew how to be serious when you really needed it and you appreciated that so much. being with him rarely had its down days, but life outside your bubble was sure to not live up to your standards.

as you ranted about rude customers and how your manager somehow stuck the stick up his ass even deeper, hyunjin rubbed slow circles into your thighs. your thin shorts were practically exposing your pussy and hyunjin knew how needy a rough week and weed would leave you. gripping your thigh even tighter, hyunjin maneuvered you to straddle his lap and get even closer to him. 

“remember baby, the world and love are on our side. those people have nothing but karma on their side if they can be mean to my girl.” there was that famous catchphrase of his once again. hyunjin always reminded you that the world and love had you in good hands and everyone else was miserable because they didn’t understand that concept.

with a sigh, you shifted down even harder onto his lap, earning a groan from him. “thank you for listening baby,” you said grabbing the now withered joint from his hands. taking the last hit from it, you ushered him closer and blew the smoke into his mouth as you kissed him deeply. hyunjin’s arms snaked around to your waist as he inhaled the bits you blew into him.

he knew how needy you got, suspecting earlier when you walked in the door from work how this night would end. you were always so in awe of how in tune he was with your emotions, always open to listen, but knowing you had to come to him first before offering his open arms.

sex was pretty much the same, the two of you now moving in sync, grinding against each other as your kisses got sloppier. hyunjin’s hands wandered slowly against your form eventually shrugging his cardigan off your shoulders so he could get a better look at you. his lips fell from yours to stare for a moment before caressing his hands under your short tank top and moving the thin fabric away from your hardening nipples. his lips quickly attached to one while one hand moved from your hips to twist your nipple slowly.

eventually, you had enough and hastily undid his jeans to reveal his straining cock. with his help, you moved your shorts to the side and sunk slowly onto him. time always seemed to stop during sex with hyunjin, but it truly ceased to exist when high. it was like your bodies melted together like this, and with the stars above you, it seemed as if you two were the last people on earth.

as you started to ride him, hyunjin sat up to be able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and hold you impossibly close.

“my baby is so so good for me, going dumb on my cock and making me see stars.”

soon your slow thrusts turned desperate ruts against each other, your orgasms both quickly approaching. hyunjin’s grip on your hips became bruising as he kissed you sloppily once again urging you to both release at the same time.

“so fucking good, hyune. Gonna cum.”

“me too baby. let all your worries go.” with that, you both let out high pitched moans and slowed your thrusts down as you came against each other. a little piece of each other coming together to fill each other with so much love.

neither of you could muster the energy to pull off each other, instead opting to stare at the stars once again. nothing could beat the feeling of being high on each other, the weed now pretty much out of your systems.

“better now baby?” hyunjin asked as he played with your hair.

“mhm. life is so good with you my love.”

[miniwheat77]

Tight. (Mean!Keegan x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, Keegan being a meanie, rough sex, hate sex, unprotected p in v sex, sorry if I missed any.

This is not edited give me a break lmao

You flinch slightly as he passes by you, body going rigid.

You cross your arms, nervously passing by him. You hate that he’s able to do this to you.

He’s mean to you. No matter what you do, he hates it. He’s cruel and it’s worse when there’s no one around. You hurry into your room to avoid him anymore. You don’t know what you did, but he hates you.

When you were first on base, you were happy. You loved being in the military and you loved helping people. Until now. His hatred for you made you bitter and cold. Waking up was tiring and miserable and sometimes you just wish you hadn’t. Seeing him, hearing what he had to say. All of it. It was sickening.

You really liked Keegan at first. You tried your hardest to get on his good side. Nothing you did ever seemed to work. Eventually you just gave up.

A sigh leaves your lips. Wiping your tired eyes. You had to trade for watch soon and you weren’t ready.

You stood up, looking out your door to make sure the hallway was clear, you didn’t want to run into Keegan anymore tonight.

You made your way down the hallway, closing your door behind you. You exit through the large metal door and make your way across base to the watch tower. Making your way up the stairs to relieve the last person on watch.

He thanked you before going back down the stairs you had just come up. It was basically a room full of cameras up in a watch tower, meant for watching everything. “Hey, before I go.” He stops just as he’s out of your sight, coming back inside. “Keegan was telling me a little bit about you.” He smiles. He’s standing with his back to the door, closing it. You notice his fingers twist the lock on it. The hair on your body stands up and you stand up from your chair, resting your hand on your sidearm. “If Keegan said it, I’m sure it’s not true.” You mumble. “He was just saying that you like to… get around. Was thinking maybe since nobody will be up here for a couple hours.” He shrugs, tugging the zipper down on his vest. “What he said wasn’t true. I’m not interested.” You say quickly. “Oh come on.. is it me?” He breathes. Taking a step toward you. You raise your shirt up to reveal your gun. “I said I’m not interested. I won’t say it again.” You breathe. He raises his hands up, a laugh leaving his lips. “Alright. Suit yourself. Thought I’d try my luck.” He mumbles. Taking a step back. “He said you were a slut, thought you’d be easier.” He laughs. Disappearing through the door finally. As soon as he’s gone, you’re rushing to lock the door. Sighing in relief. What the fuck was that?

Tears burn your eyes as you sit down, letting your head hang. You can’t help them as they fall. You were so defeated, and so fucking angry.

You wipe your eyes, regaining your composure for a minute before picking up your radio. “Hey, Maria, can you cover my watch for me early? I’ve got a headache and think I need to go see a medic.” You call to her over the radio. “No problem.”

You hurry down the steps, not wanting to be spotted by her. Keegan always spent his time in the mechanic shop on base, he got along with the mechanic and liked learning new things. Most likely he’d be there. It was late, but he didn’t sleep well during the night. You rush across the base, ankles burning from fast walking as you burst through the door to the shop. There’s only one Humvee currently inside. Keegan is sitting at the desk, working on some kind of paperwork. You startle him slightly when you barge through the door, making him look up. He stands up when he sees you. “What are you doing here?” He mumbles. “Fuck you.” You seethe. You pause, the tears slip from your eyes before you even start talking, you want to hold them back but you can’t. Not anymore. Your feet are planted on the ground a few feet away from him. “I just had someone come onto me in the goddamn watch tower because of you. Because of what you keep saying about me.” Your voice is unsteady. “I don’t know what the fuck I ever did you to Keegan, but I can’t fucking take it anymore. You win.” You spit. “You’re so fucking dramatic.” He mumbles. “Dramatic?” You freeze. You turn to him. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell since I met you.” Your voice is quiet and serious. “I used to love this. I used to love knowing that I was helping people. I used to love every second of a mission, getting to meet civilians of all kinds, seeing all parts of the world and looking at peace through the violence. Now? I dread every single second of every single mission, because of you. I pray that I’ll die on them. Get shot, or stabbed. Just so that I don’t have to see your face. When we have to parachute out to reach a mission? I pray that my parachute doesn’t open. You’ve made my life a living hell, you’ve ruined me. So yeah, you win Keegan. Maybe that makes me dramatic but it’s the truth. I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much that it hurts.” Tears stream freely from your eyes. “Okay? What do you want me to say hm?” He breathes. “Why. Why do you do it?” He can’t lie, the heartbreak you feel unsettles him a little bit. “Because. You think you’re so perfect. You think that everything is all fine and dandy. The military isn’t for pathetic people like you. I mean.. look at you?” He laughs.

“So.. because I choose to see the good in everything, I deserve to be torn down? Treated like shit?” You’re moving closer to him. He laughs. “I’m sorry that not everyone can be a miserable sack of shit like you.” You growl. A gasp leaves your lips when he grasps you by your throat, backing you up and slamming you up against the wall by the desk. “Watch your fucking mouth.” He growls. A whimper leaves your lips. “Fuck you.” You seethe. He tightens his grip. You try to swallow but can’t. “Do your fucking worst, you can’t hurt me any-“ he cuts off the rest of your oxygen, watching you turn red. His eyes are fixed on your lips and you look confused. He lets go, hearing you take in a deep breath. He moves closer to you, looking at your eyes before they flicker to your lips.

You’ve got to be delusional.

He grits his teeth, hand shaking as it sits at your throat. “You’re pathetic.” He growls. “Little bunny can’t even take a joke.” He chuckles. You try to push him back, but he forces you back even harder. “I hate you too, you know. Everyone fucking likes you and they don’t know how fucking pathetic you are.” He shakes his head.

“You feel good? Does treating me like shit make you feel good? You’re the pathetic one here. You spend every second of every day making someone else’s life hell because you’re so unhappy in your ow-“

His lips are what cut you off. You freeze for a second, and despite every nerve in your body telling you to force him off of you, you kiss him back. He kisses you hard, forcing his tongue into your mouth, he’s got his mask pushed up to the bridge of his nose. He tightens his grip on your throat unintentionally as he kisses you, like you’ll slip away from his grasp. He lets go of your throat finally, lowering his hand to grope your breasts, hearing you gasp into his mouth. When he pulls away, you take in a sharp breath. Seeing the way you’re looking at him makes him regret it. The loving stare you always have. Intensified by his touch.

He reaches lower, unbuttoning your pants and pushing them down your legs. Once your lower half is completely exposed to him, he shoves some of the stuff on the desk to the side. Lifting you up and setting you on the desk. He hurries to unbutton his own pants, tugging them just low enough to expose himself. You’re still staring him down, lips parted slightly. “Stop looking at me like that.” He growls.

“What?” You breathe, “like you like me. You should hate me.” He growls. Lining himself up with your entrance. He tugs you closer to the edge of the desk, pushing himself into your entrance, hearing you gasp. “Oh fuck- you’re fucking tight,” he growls. Your eyes move from his face to where the both of you connect. Watching him slide into the cavern between your legs. You can’t peel your eyes away from him, your body betrays you for him. “Keegan-“ you whine. “The door-“ you gasp, clutching onto the desk. “Shut up.” He growls. “Let them see us.” He pants. He’s got a death grip on your thighs, the desk making an awful screech with each thrust he takes into you. The metal scratching the concrete. You try to be quiet, but it’s hard. As much as you hate to admit it, he feels good. Sliding up against parts of you that’ve been completely untouched. He stimulates parts of you that you didn’t know existed, you didn’t know you needed this. You can feel something building in your lower stomach.

You know that you should push him away, feel disgusted for letting him have something so intimate. You’ll be another notch on his belt, he’ll return to being the asshole that he is. The cry that leaves your lips interrupting your thoughts, you sit up, holding yourself tight. You’re watching him slide into you, seeing your arousal build at the base of his cock. You go quiet and that’s when he’s concerned. Seeing you staring between the both of you. You don’t push him away, so he keeps going. Your breathing picks up, but you can’t tear your eyes away from it. You’re having sex with him, with Keegan. Your eyes finally flicker up to his face and he laughs. “Thought I lost you in there for a second.” He mumbles. Gritting his teeth. You say nothing, breath catching in your throat. “Look at you. So fucking dumb because of my cock.” The knot that’s wound up in your stomach is about to snap. “Keegan- I-“ you breathe. You can’t even finish your sentence, your body lurching hard as you cum, his eyes widening when you soak his cargo pants. Your eyes roll back, knuckles turning white as you hold onto the desk. “That’s it. Cum on my fucking cock.” He growls. You’re gripping onto him tight, sending him right into his own orgasm, hearing loud moans and whimpers leave his lips as he reaches his peak. He fills you up to the hilt, teeth gritted as he fucks you to ride out your high. Enjoying the way you tense up at the way he overstimulates you.

You’re quiet when he pulls out of you, whining at the loss of you wrapped around him. His filth spills back out of you, and he bites his lip when he sees it. He adjusts his mask when he steps back from you.

You move quickly to slide your pants back on, quickly putting your boot back on. You take in a breath to say something to him, but stop yourself. He’s got his back turned to you to clean himself up, and that’s when you take your opportunity to leave. He hears your footsteps and assumes you going to get something. Whipping around when he hears the door open. He sees your arm shutting the door behind you. He sighs. “Goddamnit Y/N.” He mumbles, buttoning his pants and fixing the desk.

—

The following day, he can’t seem to find you. He’s been looking all day. Finally, you emerge into the hallway from your Captain’s office into the hallway. “Well. If you really think that’s what you want, we’ll set you up an appointment and fill out the paperwork for a transfer.” He nods. You smile nervously. “We’re really going to miss you, and between here and there, I hope you’ll change your mind. You’re a good Sergeant Y/N.” He nods, passing by Keegan. Your eyes follow him, and your smile fades when you see Keegan standing there. He’s staring back at you. You tear your eyes away from his, turning and making your way to your room.

You step inside, closing the door behind you with a sigh.

He opens it and steps inside, startling you. He closes it behind himself, locking it. “You’re not going.” He breathes. You stay quiet. “Keegan. You need to leave.” You finally say after a minute. “No. You’re not going. If you go, I’ll follow you.” He breathes. “Wherever you go, I’ll find a way to be there with you. Don’t care what it is or where.”

“You can’t. You’ve done enough.”

He growls at your response, stepping closer to you. “You’re not going. No.” He shakes his head. He grasps his mask, tugging it off. “No. You’re staying.” You close your eyes as he moves closer. “Nobody will touch you like I can.” He breathes. You clench your eyes tighter. “You saw the way your body reacted to mine. I made you cum on me, I filled your pussy with my cum.” He breathes. “Stop-“ you flinch. “You loved it.” He mumbles, he’s backed you up into the wall behind you. “Keegan stop.” You breathe. “Open your eyes. Look at me.” He breathes, pressing his hand to your throat but not being rough. “Nobody will fuck you like I did. Nobody will understand you.”

“You’re wrong. I can’t live like this.”

“Give yourself to me completely and things will change.” He breathes.

“You call me a slut, I’m not doing this.” You push him back but he forces you back. “You are doing this.” He grits his teeth. “I know, I know I don’t say the right things. I didn’t mean it. I just.. you’re so fucking perfect and I can’t.. but you.. you let me fuck you. You let me touch you.” He closes his eyes. “Don’t go.” He breathes.

Your eyes prick with tears and you keep your eyes closed because you know if you see his eyes you’ll change your mind. “Stay.” He breathes. His breath is warm on your face as he holds you there. “You have to stop. If I stay.” You breathe. “You have to stop saying what you say about me.”

“I can do that.” He sighs. Running his hand between your legs. “But I’m going to be rough with you.. I have to be rough with your pussy if you want me to be nice.” He breathes. You go tense as he touches you. You sigh. You don’t know what to do. You feel his lips against yours once again, and you know you won’t be able to stay away if you kiss back.

You’re delusional. He’s played mind games with you. What is happening?

You can’t help it, melting right into him, kissing him back.

Here you go, spiraling out of control once again.

[luneemeritus]

"pilot Stolas was better!!" no, he wasn't.

"bring pilot Stolas back!!" no ❤️

You want an evil, manipulative, abusive villain with little to no redeeming qualities that is a Goetia and has cool powers? We have two of them: Stella and Andrealphus. If it's only about the 'asthetic', a character doesnt have to be evil to be cool, Stolas's demon form and powerful moments are already amazing, and although he's powerless now, I'm pretty sure he will get his status back at least for a while to make a badass scene.

What the Hellaverse doesnt lack is amazing villains. If critics were so much better and creative than Vivziepop, they wouldn't turn a complex, well written, well designed and well acted character like Stolas into a boring Valentino 2.0 just because the pilot version seemed creepier. Lmao Stella is literally what all of Stolas's haters claim to want, look how well they're handling her. Seriously I've seen people saying that Stella needs a sympathetic reason to be a fucking abuser, but when Stolas (not an abuser) has sympathetic reasons to be who he is and do what he does, it's suddenly not okay.

Stolas is the only character I've ever seen who: sacrifice his life to his lover, and is still called "selfish" and "not enough for Blitz"; is seeing being abused by his wife since EP2-Season 1, even singing about how his life with her was miserable yet he remained strong for his daughter, and people will still claim that Stella turned out to be abusive "out of nowhere"; is forced to marry someone he doesn't love, is abused by said person, spent years alone and enduring that misery, and when he finally chooses to stay with the one person that never abused him, he is an "evil cheater"; sacrifices his own safety and happiness to make his daughter safe and happy, and ALWAYS — always — take accountability when he fails her (or when she thinks he failed her) as any good parent would do, and still be called a bad father (addition: forced to have said child but loves her anyway🤡). Just say yall alergic to character development.

I lost the Tiktok now because I blocked OP, but the big argument about "how much pilot Stolas is better" is a lie basically: canon Stolas, (abuse survivor, has the best development of the show alongside with Blitz, a loving father who remained strong for his daughter), is a "loser" (also a twink in a derogatory way, which is funny like, just say the f slur, we know that's what you mean🤡 specially calling a male abuse survivor "coward" and "loser" lmao like we know), while the pilot Stolas is a "manipulative, inteligent, cold villain" uuuuh no he wasn't lol hate to tell you dude, Pilot Stolas wasnt an evil interesting genius that was sooo intimidating, nah he was just creepy and honestly as funny as the canon one. Yeah you just hate the gay owl being well written. Pilot Stolas has 2 minutes screen. Canon Stolas has two seasons of development, he is the better one, I'm pretty sure people who say this don't even remember half of the pilot.

So it's not really about Stolas's actions, or mistakes, or him being a good or a bad person (he is a good person). He could be the most perfect, excellent, flawless victim, the 'wokest' most self aware pure angel, it's still not enough. Because it's not about him, it's about a version of him that never came to be but haters love to whine about it.

[chaifootsteps]

Just watched Full Moon and god I am so unbelievably angry. Stolas really tricked me into thinking he was going to do something decent for a second just to instantly get butthurt when Blitz didn't immediately process everything and respond the way he wanted him to.

Then when Blitz voiced his grievances he starts crying and guilt tripping him like a nice guy as if he didn't acknowledge that everything Blitz said was technically true himself? And again before Blitz can even say anything he just?? kicks him out??

Like. this was not even a fucking conversation he just dumped a bunch of shit on Blitz, didn't let him talk and then ran away from it like a child.

Of course everyone in the comments is saying what a great and deep character Stolas is. Can't wait for people to blame Blitz for not playing along with Stolas's delusions again.

Someone even said that this must be Blitz's biggest nightmare because he "might've gained Fizz back as a friend but he lost Stolas" lol. Lmao even. Sounds like an amazing trade for him considering Fizz is actually someone he likes being around while Stolas actively makes him miserable every time they interact.

Seriously I don't understand how Viv can expect anyone to ship them even if you look past the fucked up shit Stolas does. There is no point in the show where they're on screen together and just have a nice moment it's always just them being sad or angry and either arguing with eachother or being overly sexual I'm so tired

100% agree with all of this.

Stolas acted like the spoiled, manipulative child he is and in a kinder world, Blitz would run straight back to Fizz and they'd spend the night laughing over their celebratory drinks.

[thatgirlstrawberry]

NSFW Alphabet

Smut warning

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

A-Aftercare (what he’s like after sex)

After being rough, he would clean you up

Make sure that you’re not hurt and if you are, he would message you anywhere you needed it

He would put you in the bath or shower and wash your body and hair

After he would apologize profusely if he thought he was being too rough on you

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to-“

“Spencer, shut the fuck up. Your dick is magical.”

B-Body part (his favorite body part of yours)

Definitely your thighs and your hands

He likes gripping your thighs when his head is between them

He just lies grabbing them in general

Like there isn’t a time when he’s not touching your thighs sexually or not

Your hands bc he loves when you wrap them around his dick

Or when he has you in missionary and your hands are squeezing his biceps

C- cum (anything to do with cum)

He loves it when you tel him to cum inside you

He’s more than happy too really

When he doesn’t finish inside, he pulls out and comes on your stomach or back— whichever way he has you

D- dirty secret (😈)

He secretly likes it when you take control in bed

He also secretly likes it when you can barely form words when he’s inside you

When you try not to moan but end up failing miserably

When your nails tear skin as they claw at his back while he fucks you

E- experience (How experienced is he?)

Honestly, he wasn’t very experienced before he met you

He had only had sex with four or five people before you

He was a natural though

He knew how to pleasure you by asking you

Spencer is an obedient man— when you tell him you need something, he’ll do it

F- favorite position (what’s his favorite position to have you in?)

He absolutely loves missionary— seeing your face change with every thrust

But he also likes it when you ride him so he can look down and see his dick disappearing inside of you

He also likes when you’re face down, ass up gripping the sheets and arching your back

G- goofy (is he serious or funny during sex?)

When the moment is right, he will definitely laugh with you during sex

Like if one of you laughs, the other one will too

The giggly sex is most likely gonna be in the morning— don’t know why it just seems like that

He’ll be wayyyyy more serious at night

Like after an argument or on an anniversary

Or to celebrate something one of you achieved

H-hair (how well groomed is he?)

He’s not completely shaved down there but he’s not like wild

I’m gonna stop there bc this one is just awkward to me lmao

I- intimacy (how intama

He’s literally the most romantic man during sex

I just can’t like stop thinking about how he would hold you hand against the bed as he went a little slower than usually if you had a bad day or something

When he’s feeling a little down that day, he’d pull you close, chest to chest

His face either hidden in your neck or his eyes closed focusing on your proximity and the way you feel

J- Jack off (when does he get himself off?)

Any time he’s away on a long case

I fully believe that at some point, y’all were having sex and this man just like whipped out a Polaroid camera, took pictures and stuffed them in a secret pocket in his go bag

He’d call you when he knew you were awake and asked if you could face time and show him your 🍒

He’s more subby when he’s masturbating because he’s desperate

K- kinks (what kinks does he have?)

Dirty talk

Praise link

Overstimulating (you)

Dacryphilia (idk if this is a kink but he loves to have you in tears)

You calling him doctor— Ik it’s weird but he’s literally a nerd 😭

Semi-public (I’m talking like bending you over a desk in an empty private office at the BAU)

L- location (where?)

Like I said previously— in an empty private office

Mostly in bed tho

Or bent over the kitchen counter

Or the bathroom sink, making you watch yourself in the mirror

M- motivation (what turns him on?)

You

Literally just you

You could be watching tv and he would be turned on watching your tongue poke out the corner of your lips

He gets turned on when you’re washing dishes

When you’re eating

Literally doing anything

N- no (something he wouldn’t do)

Hit you— he would never inflict pain on you, that’s stepping over a line

Letting someone watch y’all do it/3somes— you’re enough for him

Toys— he wants your orgasms to be from him and him only (and yourself if he’s ever away on a case and you need release)

Spitting on or in you— he thinks that’s weird and a great way to spread germs (and so do I)

O- oral (what’s his preference on oral sex?)

He absolutely loves giving you head

He’s a god at it

He can literally make you come with his tongue in lest than 3 minutes

He loves the way you taste— he thinks you taste better than coffee and sprinkled donuts

Spencer also loves when you give him head

Loves the feeling of your lips and tongue wrapped around him

Thinks that it’s the second best feeling in the world (your pussy being the first)

He loves the way your mascara runs as you take him almost touching the back of your throat

P- pace (is he fast and rough or is he slow and soft?)

A little bit of both

He likes going rough when he needs it- like when he’s mad or frustrated with someone or something (obvi if you ask him to go fast and rough he will— mans will do anything for you)

He’ll go slow if he’s stressed or sad

And if you want it slow he’ll give it to you slow

Basically it depends on the situation

Q- quickies (his opinion on quickies)

He doesn’t really prefer quickies but if he has to leave for a case for a few days he’ll get one in before he has to leave

He likes to take his time therefore, quickies almost never happen

R- risk (is he willing to take risks?)

As long as you want it and it’s not one of the No’s, he loves to experiment

The riskiest thing you’ve ever done is handcuff him to the file drawer in the BAU and suck his dick, almost getting caught by Derek

Laughing when you guys experiment bc he’s all like “this is what I’m supposed to do, right? Are you sure?”

S- stamina (how long can they last? How many rounds can they go?)

Spencer has built up stamina from the start of your relationship to now

He used to only be able to last about 4-5 minutes inside you

Now he can go up to 10 minutes if you go straight to the penetrative sex

If you fore play, he lasts about 7 minutes

He can usually go three rounds before he has to stop

You’re usually a wreck after he’s done

T - toy (does he use toys?)

No

U- unfair (is he a tease? How does he react when you tease him?)

Spencer was too shy to be a tease in the beginning of your relationship

So you were the first one to do the teasing

You walked out of his bathroom the morning after your first time having sex in a towel and dropped it right in front of him

You pretended to not know that his eyes snapped to your dripping wet body and hair and walked towards his closet picking out a pair of his boxers and his shirt

“If you out those clothes on your body before you let me fuck you, I will lose my mind.”

His first time he teased you he called you good girl when you threw a crumpled piece of paper into the trash can from your spot at the kitchen table

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I get on my knees will you call me that again?”

V- volume (how loud is he when doing the deed?)

This man is LOUD

Not like the whiny loud tho

He’s the deep, sexy kind of loud

He’ll breathe all heavy in your ear

He’ll groan loudly and throw his head back when you on your knees for him

Sometimes Spencer will even bite his lip to try not to be loud but It never works

He’ll praise you and then moan low and deep right after

W- wild card (random)

When he plans to have sex, he’ll crate a playlist

“Good girl.”

“Keep those pretty eyes open, for me.”

Loves hearing your moans—

Loves it when you say please/ when you beg him for something

Will turn into a sugar daddy bc he can’t say no to you lmao

He’ll buy you anything you want or even glance at while you guys are walking around a store or a mall

Thinks buying you lingerie is awkward so he just asks you to get a certain set and gives you his credit card

The king of worrying

“Are you okay?” “Does that hurt?” “Did you come? We can go again i swear-“

X-ray (what’s going on under those pants!?)

8 inches

Literally didn’t expect it but after you got used to it you were like

“Oh yeah this is right.”

Y- yearning (how high is his sex drive)

This man can’t go a couple hours without being horny

He’s always wanting you

He always imagines you moaning his name

Long story short, he’s always horny and your sexy ass is to blame

Z- zzzzz (How quickly he falls asleep)

He waits until your comfortable and asleep before he even thinks about going to bed

He scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your chest and falls asleep a while after

————————————————-

OMG WHAT IS THIS—

Oky sorry i love you babes! Hope you enjoyed this and I don’t totally suck at writing HCs. There’s a SFW one coming soon tho!!! Stay tuned for that and chapter 12 of Sick Surprise :)

Love youuuuuu!

Taglist: @mrsgweasley

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@blue-willows

@monzarella

@criminallymagic

@mermateyepmatewithte

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[sweeter-than-teafood]

Texting

AN: I was inspired by the artifact for Amy and Sitri’s card, and thought up the silliest thing lmao.

Tw: A lot of swearing from these devils. Also, this is going from what we’ve seen from Day 3 of the Unsightly Guy event. So it may be ooc in the future. Or not. Yeehaw.

✨—————————————————————✨

-3am, Gehenna’s Palace-

Bzzt!

A new message? Sitri glared at his phone as the lit screen illuminated his entire bedroom. Who could be texting him at this ungodly hour?

————————��———————

-Hell-Oh Talk: 1 new message-

Amy (Online now)

Status: Ew 2 drinking tea. Can’t b me, I’m manly as fuck.

————————————————

Sitri rolled his eyes at the violent devil’s status. Of course he’d think that, he has no patience to enjoy sophisticated hobbies. He probably couldn’t even pour from a teapot if the instructions were written on the bottom.

He opened the message, expecting to see some pathetic diatribe of how canned coffee is superior and that tea-making yields zero-rizz.

Amy:

Lol, maybe MC would lyk u if u weren’t 2 busy 😭 over their dead gramps. Solomon! Solomonnnnnn… Wot a loser u r! Enjoy ur left hand, buddy! 😂

…

Crunch!

Sitri ground his teeth, pissed off by the message. How dare he! The Descendant of Solomon liked him just fine! Who was he to comment on their relationship, when he hadn’t even met them yet?!

Fingers started typing away with a fury that wasn’t usually displayed by Sitri. He hit send, and decided to head to the tearoom for a cup of black tea to calm down.

-Meanwhile on the outskirts of Gehenna-

Amy smirked at the message he had just sent to Sitri. Sure, he would block his number because that fancy prick had nothing useful to say to him, but sometimes it was fun to unblock him and send an insult just to ruin his day.

Bzzt!

Oh? A reply so soon? Well, whatever it said, Amy was certain that it was complete and utter angelshit.

————————————————

-Hell-Oh! Talk: 1 New Message-

Sitri (Online now)

Status: Only a fucking idiot would use a stick as a weapon. Have some diversity, you caveman

————————————————

Amy scoffed at Sitri’s status. Of course he’d think that! He thinks he’s hot shit just because he trained in many weapons! But nothing bashes in angel skulls better than what he uses! Sometimes simple is better!

He opened the message, ready to read some sad sob story about Solomon.

Sitri:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

I'll have you recall that it was I who graduated top of our class in the Gehenna Military Program, and how I am an esteemed alumni of the Hades Intelligence Student Program, I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Heaven, and I have over 666 confirmed kills.

I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top pistolier in the entire Gehenna Miltary Forces. You are nothing to me but just another measly target.

I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this Hell, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a simple text? Think again, fucker.

As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Hell and your GPS location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you lowly maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life.

You're fucking dead, loser. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed and armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Gehenna Capital Military Force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the country, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "funny" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot.

I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. I’ll use your tears to steep my tealeaves in, because nothing will bring me greater satisfaction than to see you snivel and beg for mercy. You're fucking dead, you cowardly bitch.

Amy let out a harsh laugh. Did this dickhead get ahold of some dank shit from Abyssos? The levels of delusion were incredible. His finger hovered over the textbar, before he decided against it.

“I have better things to do than to entertain this butler wannabe. Maybe later.”

-Sometime later, in the Palace of Gehenna-

That damn bastard.

>>Seen 16hrs ago

Sitri grits his teeth in annoyance at the ever increasing hours on the small bar. First that meathead talks shit about him, and now he can’t even form a response?

‘He’s probably masturbating to this, that fucking asshole.’

Sitri shuddered in disgust at the mental image and quickly threw himself into his paperwork as a welcome distraction.

-Gehenna’s Outskirts-

Amy decided to finally reply to Sitri’s lengthy text. He ponders for a second; there are so many things he could say to further fuel this tea-drinking bastard’s aggression. But he opts for something simple that will infuriate him.

-Palace of Gehenna-

Bzzt!

Sitri looks up from his paperwork to see his phone light up. He immediately grabs it and clicks on the notification.

—————————————

-Hell-Oh! Talk: 1 new message-

Amy (Online Now)

Status: Bitches b mad lmao

Sitri chose to ignore the devil’s pathetic status for now. He opened the message.

Amy:

Nice CV, loser. Still get no bitches tho.

Sitri stared blankly at the text, before he closed his phone. What a waste of time.

“I’m not even going to reply to that.”

Little did he know, he would pick up his phone ten minutes later to start typing away.

[vanmarkus]

bucks soot covered face coming out has three possibilities:

1. they were kissing for so long buck almost forgot why they were there, so when he realized he just turned around, grabbed tommy’s hand and ran to the room. so tommy didn’t see it to comment on it.

2. tommy pointed it out and buck went “what a hilarious way to come out, mark me up more my beast of a man”

3. like you said, they tried to wipe it, it just made it worse (since it’s covering like half of bucks face, how would a heavy kiss do that?) and buck just went fuck it, this is how i come out i guess.

but tommy seeing it and not saying anything is so unlikely cause we’ve been shown, he’s hella considerate towards buck. he’s very sweet, wanting to take it slow, not pressure him, etc, etc. people do be reaching to make my man (tommy) toxic, wild.

tbh I think he might've rubbed his face into Tommy's like a cat and that's why it looks so messy lmao

but yeah, no chance in hell that Tommy saw and said nothing. the closest scenario I can imagine is him trying to say something, but Buck being the eager puppy that he is just tugging him along because he "already kept him too long" and not letting Tommy get a word in edgewise lmao

but yeah people don't even need an excuse to hate Tommy, they just make shit up when... the thing is, you can just not like the character and leave it at that, you know?

you don't have to come up with outlandish theories and spend time to post about a character/ship you don't like, you can just mute the tag, shut up about it and let other people have fun. of course that'd require people to not be miserable cunts and well... this is still tumblr dot com, after all.

welp, at least it's not twitter, I guess.