#that also just happens to look really fuckin cool
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Idk where I remember reading it but I remember reading somewhere that black knights were a specific class of knight who'd paint over their armor and coat of arms to signify they no longer served a king or lord and while I cannot find any evidence of that being actually true, I'd be lying if I said that idea didn't kind of fuck tbh
#there are tales of knights (lancelot especially) painting over their coats of arms for anonymity#but it was just so he wasn't recognized it had nothing to do with him breaking oaths or striking out on his own#in addition blackening armor was just a thing people did for ages#not symbolic of anything just because it did a good job waterproofing armour#making it resistant to rust and such#not evocative or indicative of anything just purely utilitarian#that also just happens to look really fuckin cool#It seems almost analogous to the ronin archetype which almost feels telling like someone just making shit up because it sounds cool#which to be fair it does#which is to say little of warriors who'd paint their armor and shields black for nighttime ambushes#which also has nothing to do with lords or kings and is a purely utilitarian thing#that coincidentally happens to also be cool lmao#but the lordless knight thing as far as I can tell seems to be a pure fabrication#and I'm sad about that since I love that as a concept#and I'd happily be proven wrong if anyone's got a credible source#lmao#pun's text posts
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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possibly the last time I truly got to sing my heart out without bothering anyone was probably the last streetlight concert, which is probably part of why I wanna go back so bad.
#matt and arin have never complained#but a lot of other people uhhhh really really have#family partners friends teachers you fuckin name it bud#I even have a very clear memory of being recorded by strangers presumably to be mocked long before it was cool#(or at least as cool as it apparently fucking is now; it certainly still happened eg parking lot easter nunchucks)#(kids in a passing car audibly laughing)#(smartphones existed but were still very novel)#(I was walking in my own fucking neighborhood.)#and like absolutely people have said nice things about it too#but guess which one wasn't just more memorable but also more frequent.#I couldn't even go all out For Real in like. band auditions. cuz I needed them to Like Me and fuckups look bad.
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OKAY OKAY I SAW YOUR MOST RECENT ART POST
AND I LOVE IT
BUT BUT
I'M SORRY BUT
SUNNY LOOKS LIKE HE'S PROCESSING THAT THIS BLONDE GAYASS GUY LIKES HIM
HE GOT NO THOUGHTS
AT ALL
BEHIND THOSE EYES
I'M SORRY DON'T KILL ME PLEASE
Sunny's like "oh shit when he said he liked me he meant it"
#answering asks late sorry i am still. diseased#ask#dyesprout0ysphoria#the 'no thoughts head empty' look was the INTENTION btw so im glad youre seeing it like that#sunny's processing. his brain hasnt caught up with whats happening yet#nick just grabbed him and sun's brain made the fuckin. w.d. gaster noises#its also way funnier to say that kind of stuff without adding ''please dont kill me''#because that implies youre saying something you know is bad or i wont like or smth#i do like what youre saying! you dont need to apologise!#you dont need to say it like its the wrong interpretation or like i drew it badly and made it accidentally funny or whatever#it was the intention!! sunny's head is EMPTY dude is REBOOTING he's Stunned#hes like ''what . wh at is happening right now''#im sorry if im misinterpreting what you said i am. not doing great#part of why i didnt answer many asks yesterday was because im tired and sick and my body doesnt have the energy for emotions right now#let alone good ones#you guys are really cool and nice and i love and appreciate all the asks and everything else i am OVERWHELMED by your positivity#i didnt want to get mean on accident#im just terribly sick.#arsenic
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screams my stepdad and my moms boss both believe people trapped in poverty choose to be poor
#I'm not saying your experience with '''welfare queens''' didn't happen but people STUCK in poverty are STUCK there for a reason#my moms boss (whit guy married to a black lady) also said some shit about how the biggest problem with th black community is lack of fathers#like no baby I think it's the racism built into the fuckin system#just look at redlining#or the crack epidemic#like. WHAT is taking the fathers away. where are they GOING. oh right. they got labeled criminals and thrown in jail#which you didn't even want to acknowledge has a structural racism problem as well#but like. just because someone you know managed the impossible feat of dragging themselves out of poverty doesn't mean that everyone can or#has the OPPORTUNITY to. he didn't even try to refute my points about disability and not being able to save he was just like 'yeah they DO#treat disabled people and vets really really poorly' like cool ignore how that relates to the greater discussion of poverty esp as it#relates to other personal situations like disability or racism. like the way poor brown men are lured into the military and thrown away. or#the way that disabled black people are way less likely to get approved for benefits#like. ignore the larger implications that I'm making in favor of like. 'well my wife is black so I clearly have more of a say here than you'#like what a shitty white move to pull 'muh muh I have a leg up in this discussion because of my black friend/wife/whatever I win!!!'#just because a tiny fraction of the population on welfare choose to stay on it and actively dissuade attempts to get them off of it doesn't#mean that the vast majority of people on it for years aren't on it because they HAVE to be
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𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇
[1: spider-man’s more awkward than i thought..”]
spiderman!ellie x reader | tlou m.list
synopsis: ellie is in your biology class, she’s the quiet teachers assistant, who also happens to double as your agency’s part time photographer, but you notice that lately she’s been acting strange..
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You never really noticed her before, to you, she was just the nerdy TA and your agency’s assistant photographer but right now, you needed her to be your saviour. You were failing your biology class, a side effect of how many modelling gigs you’ve picked up to pay your tuition but what good was paying your tuition if you couldn’t even pass your classes? That’s how you ended up practically begging Ellie to tutor you.
“God, please, Williams,” you sighed, taking her hand in yours, “I’ll do anything! I’ll even pay you or I could speak to the agency—.”
“I-it’s fine, Y/l/n, I can do it,” she pried her hand out of yours and nodded, “Just put in a good word with your boss, yeah?”
You practically jump when she says that, “Oh thank you, thank you so much! Um, do you have my number?”
Ellie bashfully nods, “Uh, yeah, I have all the model’s numbers..”
You nod, “Okay, cool! Let’s meet at my place tonight, yeah? Maybe around 6? I’ll send you the location and the door code.”
Ellie straightens up, “Uhh.. can’t do six.. can we do it earlier? Maybe 4..?”
She looks a little nervous about asking, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s staring into your eyes, anxiously waiting for your response, “Oh.. yeah that’s cool!”
With that, you go your separate ways.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
At your apartment, you prep it for your visitor, shoving your clothes into your laundry hamper, putting out some snacks, straightening up your ‘living room,’ it wasn’t really a living room, given that you lived in a small studio apartment, it was really just a corner of your apartment with a couch, rug, and coffee table. Come on, it was New York and you’re a college student! This is as good as it’ll get for now.
Just as you’re folding a blanket, you hear a thud against the glass door leading out to your balcony. Just as you’re about to take a step towards it to inspect it.. ding dong! You jump a bit, forgetting all about the peculiar sound and making your way towards your front door. Peaking through the peephole, you see Ellie, she’s awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck, camera bag resting on her shoulder and her bangs messily in her face.
“Hey,” you smile and open the door to let her in, “Uh, make yourself at home.”
“T-thanks,” she nods, taking off her shoes and putting her bag down, “Nice place you got.. very, uh, homey. Oh, you a fan of Spider-man?” She nods at the Spider-Man poster on your wall and the Spider-Man t-shirt you’re wearing.
You giggle at her attempt at making small talk, “Thanks, can I get you anything? Water.. soda.. tea..? And, yeah, I know it’s kinda ‘fan girly’ of me but he’s just so fuckin’ cool, y’know? ”
“I’ll take a water,” she sits down on your couch, she looks really tired, not sleepy tired but she looks like she just fought Captain America.
“Shall we get started,” you place the glass in front of her and sit on the floor, the fluffy rug underneath aiding as a cushion, she nods and the two of you get to work.
The first few tutoring sessions went just like that, they were stiff and awkward but eventually, you realized that Ellis isn’t just a nerd that occasionally takes your pictures, she’s also really funny and is actually a really good teacher, she’s patient but doesn’t treat you like you’re dumb. She talks you through the formulas and makes sure you understand each chapter by quizzing you. She’s actually not awkward about this after all, she seems confident when she’s talking about cells. Watching her is nice, her eyes light up when she gets to a chapter that she is obviously interested in and a small smile falters on her lips. You never really realized it before but not only is she really smart, she’s also REALLY hot. Like, the way her veiny arms l flex when she reaches over for her glass of water, the veins flexing under her tattoo, the way she gazes at you through her eyelashes, and her smirk when she gently teases you for getting a problem wrong.
On one particular tutoring session, the rain pattered heavy against the thin glass on your balcony doors, creating a serene, almost cozy atmosphere. You and Ellie were sitting close together on the floor, a thick textbook resting on the coffee table in front of you, you could feel her breath against your neck and her voice was deep and raspy, almost like she’d been out in the rain earlier, and—
“Hey, you with me?” Ellie waves a hand in front of your face, “Hm, maybe we should stop here for now, yeah? It’s getting la— shit, it’s 7?!”
Your expression fell at the thought of her leaving, so you thought ‘fuck it’ as you decided to try and get her to ‘sleep over.’
Ellie scrambled to get on her feet, grabbing her bag and putting her battered converse on, “Oh, you’re leaving? But it’s pouring out there, wanna spend the night?” You graze her arm with your hand, you know it’s wrong to wanna sleep with your TA and your coworker but.. it had been so long since you got any.. and shit, how could you stop yourself now? You could feel her lean muscles underneath her baggy jacket.. you had no idea she even worked out.
Ellie’s eyes flicker to your hand, almost like she was considering it, “S-sorry.. I really gotta go, see ya Friday, yeah?”
And before you could say anything else to try and convince her to stay, she was out the door and you could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairwell.
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“The nerve that girl has!” You throw your hands up, “She didn’t even consider it.. I mean, look at me! An up and coming model offers you the night of her life, you say yes!”
Your friends nod in agreement, “I just don—.” Just as you’re about to make another comment, you see Ellie come into the lecture hall, a band-aid on her eyebrow, ouch. What in the world could have happened between 7 p.m. and this morning?
Your friends turn to see what’s got your tongue, then one of them speaks up, “Haven’t you heard? She is always getting weird scratches.. a guy in my last class said that she tends to get in a lot of fights, crazy, right?”
Ellie gets into fights? You scoff at the idea, no way, she’s the most gentle person you know, you can barely feel her touch when she adjusts your hair during shoots, besides she’s way too awkward, you can imagine her trying to talk herself out of a beating, no way. Right?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
During that night’s tutoring session, you ask her about the bandaid, “Oh,” her hand darts to her forehead, “This? I, uh, got it when I fell off my skateboard..”
Convincing enough, right? But the tone in which she said it betrayed her statement, damn, she was a shitty liar.
“Hm,” you hum, still not completely convinced.
Ellie’s eyes rest on yours for a moment before going back to this week’s chapter. Usually, you could focus pretty well but right now all you wanted was to ask her more about the cut, right as you’re about to bug her again, she interrupts you with a question of her own. “Hey, uh, are you booked for that shoot on Sunday?”
You can tell she’s trying her best to act as nonchalant as possible but the way she’s nervously tapping her pencil against the textbook, the way her teeth gently bite her soft pink lips, and the way her eyes look like a deer caught in headlights betray her rather calm tone.
“Yeah, didn’t Regina tell you? She booked me a few weeks ago, something about how they want a ‘fresh young face’ or whatever,” you on the other hand, have mastered the art of being nonchalant, your voice calm and your eyes never leaving the paper of your textbook.
“R-really?” Ellie looks like a puppy who’s owner just shook a bag of treats before forgetting she’s supposed to be feign the whole ‘mysterious loner’ shtick, “I mean, uh, cool, cool. I’m gonna be there too, so, uh.. yeah.”
“Mhm,” the rest of the night carries on like nothing happened, Ellie continues teaching and you continue ‘listening,’ which was a little hard because your eyes kept drifting to her eyebrows again.
There’s something about her that you just don’t get.. if those rumours are true, which you highly doubt because look at her, she’s smiling while talking about RNA… be so for real right now, there’s no way BUT if it is true, why is she so gentle? Sure, she’s clumsy but her personality, she’s not hostile, hell, she blushes whenever you graze her hand. You know how the rumour mill works and it doesn’t just churn out baseless rumours, most have some kind of truth to them, so, how did someone make one about Ellie being so violent, you wonder.
“Uh, Y/n?” Ellie’s eyes move towards the balcony doors, “Can you, uh, please stop staring? You’re making me nervous..”
Your face erupts in a blush, the sweet red colour creeping up your neck, coating your ears, and finally, sweeping over your face, “S-sorry, just spaced out.. haven’t been getting much sleep, you know?”
Ellie nods, “Yeah.. I get it.. neighbours arguing a lot ‘nd stuff, right?”
You nod before realizing, “I never told you that.”
Ellie lets out a forced chuckle, “Uh, you did! Well, you didn’t tell me directly, just heard you say it… God, please believe me, I’m not stalking you, I just heard you say in passing, I swe—. Um. I should go, it’s getting late..”
“Huh, it’s only 6..?” You stand up with her, hoping she doesn’t leave so soon.
“Sorry, but I really should—?”
You grab onto her bulky jacket, tugging on the sleeve a bit, causing it to slip down her shoulder a bit and reveal her shirt underneath, huh, it looked like…
“Hey,” she blurts out and straightens out her jacket, “Wh—?”
“Oh my god, is that a spider-man tshirt?” You jump up, a smile creeping onto your face.
Ellie is washed with relief, “Uh, yeah! Gotta love the, uh, the guy, right?”
Nodding you say, “Totally! You should’ve said something sooner, I’m like his biggest fan, I even have an, allegedly, signed poster of him!”
Ellie’s ears burn bright, “R-really? Can I see it?”
You scramble to your room and pull out a small signed flyer, “See?”
Ellie gently holds it then she snorts and mutters, “Yeah, that’s not real.”
Your expression falters, “Wh-what? As if you’d know,” you pull it from her grip, your pride hurt and internally kicking yourself for spending so much on what could be a damn knock off.
“Oh, I think I’d know a thing or two about ‘Spider-Man’,” she chuckles.
“What does that mean,” you shoot her a glare.
“Oh, nothing.. I just, uh, met him” Ellie is scrambling for any way to cover up her loud mouth.
“No way, really?!” You jump up.
“Y-yeah, a few times actually.. back in my first year of college, he let me take some pictures of him a few times for the paper.”
You squeal and begin to bombard her with questions, “What was he like? Is he tall? How does he sound? Wh—?”
Ellie is patient with you and answers all of your questions, stretching she takes a look at the clock and jumps up, “Fuck, I really should get going, it’s rainy and the parade is tomorrow and that means more cr —.”
“More, what?”
“Uh, more cramped subways!” (Ellie is internally patting herself on the back for coming up with a word that begins with ‘cr’ instead of saying criminals.)
“Oh, alright.. see ya.”
Ellie is out the door quicker than you could say ‘your friendly neighborhood spider-man.’
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
It’s the day of the parade and everyone’s spirits are high. Today, everyone is celebrating the election of the new city mayor. There will be a parade, drone show, and a market. Even you’re excited. You and your friends are making your way through the crowded streets when you bump into Abby, your ex. She must be here for her family, Abby’s family was widely renowned. Her dad isn’t just a highly esteemed surgeon, he’s also CEO of Oscorp and has very close ties to the city officials. You don’t really want any drama, so you pass by without giving as much as a nod.
“Hey, Y/n,” you hear through the crowds, a groan leaving your lips before looking up and meeting green eyes instead of blue ones.
“Ellie! What’re you doing here? I thought you would hate this kinda stuff.’
She holds up her camera, “Just takin’ photos, the Daily Bugle needs some front page stuff and they assigned it to me.”
“Oh, very cool,” you smile, “S—,” Just as you’re about to ask her if she wants to check out the stands with you, you feel a hand grip your shoulder, it’s Abby, fuck.
“Hey, Y/n, long time, huh? Wanna come see my dad, he’s been asking about you, oh, so has Manny.” Before you could reject her, Ellie is already walking away and Abby is steering you to the city hall building.
Abby drones on and on about her latest lacrosse victories and about her latest conquests, you just nod and try to space out. Normally, you wouldn’t go with her but you so desperately wanted to meet with her father. Being in premed meant you need as many connections as possible, so you were hoping Mr. Anderson could give you some pointers.
As the two of you round a corner you feel a rumble then hear a boom.
“What the fuck was that,” Abby stops and runs up the stairs, your feet are frozen in place but you quickly pull them from their cemented state and chase after her, “Abby, stop! It’s too dang—!”
Then came the second boom and suddenly, you felt the ground beneath you crumbling, fuck, this is it, isn’t it? Just as you’re about to accept your fate, you feel hands grip your waist and you’re flying..?
Through the dust, you can make out a red and blue silhouette. “I-it’s you!’
The masked figure looks at you, “Yeah.. i-it’s me.”
Uh, Spider-Man is a lot more awkward than you thought..
#ellie the last of us#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie fanfic#ellie tlou#ellie williams x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams smut#ellie angst#tlou x you#tlou x y/n#tlou x reader#tlou fluff#tlou smut#tlou2#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic
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dull domestication
A/N: s4 steve is WAY too babygirl like what am i supposed to do. he is literally begging to be domesticated. (gif creds: @emziess)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN!AFAB!Reader
Summary: You and a sleepy Steve have a very domestic conversation about the future. 0.9k words
Warnings: domestic fluff, talk of pregnancy/children, cuddling, pet names (daddy /j, baby, honey), cursing
Steve's hair is mussed when he reenters the living room from the kitchen. You're not sure what exactly he got up to in there besides dishes, but you're sure he looks even more tired than when he left. And now, he's a heat seeking missile for your lap.
"Tired, honey?" you whisper just to see him nod and close his eyes halfway to the couch. And when he finally reaches you, he spreads his body weight completely atop yours, ear pressed to your heart and cheek smushed against your sternum.
He hums with your lithe fingers sweetly combing through his hair.
"Fuckin' exhausted. Don't even get me started on my shift," he grumbles.
"What happened on your shift?"
He sighs long and hard, rumbling your chest. It takes everything in you not to laugh at how it even shakes the couch a little.
"Robin ditched halfway through to go on a date with Vickie"—he mocks—"and I forgot my lunch."
"Aw, baby, you know I would've brought it to you."
"Don't feel bad, I only didn't call because I worked through my entire break because no one was there to remind me that I even had a break. Stupid. If I hadn't just gotten a raise, I fuckin' swear."
With every second, he seems to sink further into your embrace, bones becoming goo the longer he crushes you into the cushions. Even with the air running and the night chill cooling the house, he stills runs hot like an oven. If you held your breath, you could probably hear his veins humming to produce all that heat.
"I knew I should've visited today. I had a feeling," you say, fingertips soft on the back of his neck. He hums, pushing his hands up your sides and taking your top with them.
"I like when you visit me, baby," he says, "makes me happy. And way more productive."
"Except for the twenty minutes we spend doing nothing."
"Hey, we don't do nothing."
"Oh, sorry, the twenty minutes we spend staring into each others eyes and making out. How could I forget?"
"Dunno," he shrugs, hands now snug up underneath your shoulder blades. "You ever think about kids?"
"Like how loud and obnoxious they are? Yeah, sometimes."
"Yeah, that." But you know that's not all because his brow furrows, his face taut against your chest. He takes a deep breath and shivers when you dip your fingers into the neck of his shirt. "But also about how cute ours would be."
Fuck. For all the shit running through his mind, you're shocked that's all he let out. How cute your kids would be. You and Steve. Cute kids? No doubt. Have you seen his eyes? Of course they'd be cute. You just can't beleive he said it out loud. Like the though of getting older and settling down never crossed his mind as a kind of threat. Like that's the natural course of action for two young adult lovers. You've talked about marriage, sure, but children is a whole new ballpark.
"Honey?" he coos, lifting his head to meet your eyes. "Did I scare you?"
"No. No, no. Just... hadn't really thought of it.
But I agree. Our kids would be cute. Loud and obnoxious and cute."
Your heart gives you away, pounding hard against his cheek and against your will. It makes him blush to hear you say it. Makes him a little embarrassed he said anything at all. But, they'd be pretty cute, wouldn't they?
"We don't have to talk about it," he whispers. You look down at him, pushing all of his hair up past his hairline and covering it up until he looks hairless and then letting it all flop down in his face.
"It's okay, we can talk about it," you whisper, leaning in to kiss his forehead and pull away with a smile. 
"I hope they have your eyes," he says.
"No way, you've got stunners. They better have yours, daddy," you say, grinning wickedly.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, daddio, better get used to it if you want to father our annoying yet gorgeous children."
He goes bug-eyed, staring you down in the dark, and then squinting when you cover your face to laugh.
"Not funny."
"I'm sorry! You should've seen your face, baby. Just a teensy weensy bit funny."
"You're my number one enemy right now."
"Fine, no babies for you."
Steve rucks up your shirt with haste, swiping his hand over your tummy before pressing his wet lips to the hot skin. And blowing a raspberry onto it.
"Steven! Get off of me!" you shout. He takes a very minor beating to his upper back before he laughs and wipes his mouth on his sleeve and settling his head back on your chest. You rub circles over the muscle you had attacked, whispering an apology and rolling your eyes.
"Okay, I hope they have your nose."
"I do have a great nose," you tease.
"Yes, you do," he says.
"I hope they all get a good mix of everything. Little franken-babies."
"I hope so, too. All six of them."
"Six??"
"Sorry, did you want more?"
"More???" you gasp. He chuckles.
"I'm kidding," he teases, plucking at the edge of your tee. "Six is the perfect number." You'd definitely be discussing that number later on.
stranger things masterlist
#steve harringtion#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x gn!reader#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fluff#fluff#x reader#x gn!reader#x gn reader#stranger things#stranger things x reader
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prompt: IKEA soap/reader fic. PART 1. tags: dubcon
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You duck behind a stack of boxes when you hear Johnny come whistling into the warehouse.
He shouts your name out somewhere off on the other side of the warehouse, voice echoing through the building. You keep absolutely still, fingers clamped around the clipboard that’s pressed close to your chest. Even your breathing slows, open-mouthed so as to keep it almost soundless. It’s strategic. You’ve gotten good at making yourself invisible back here, practically melting into the stack of boxes.
A minute or two goes by with repeated calls of your name, echoing from different parts of the warehouse like Johnny’s making the rounds. Searching for you. He’s probably been looking around the store for ages, with his track record. Someone must have let it slip that you were assigned to inventory today instead of being out on the floor.
You only let out a sigh when it’s been long enough that any reasonable person might have given up on trying to find you in the loading dock.
“Hiding from someone?” a deep voice asks from behind you.
Your gut all but self-ejects. When you turn around, he’s standing there in the same bright blue shirt that you also wear. His is stretched tight across his chest though, like it’s a size too small. You wonder sometimes if it’s on purpose. It’s hard not to let your eyes wander, but by now you’ve trained yourself to keep your eyes level when speaking to Johnny.
“Nope,” you squeak. “Just…you know…counting. Counting boxes and…stacks.”
He laughs, loud enough to make you startle. It’s far too enthusiastic, like you told a particularly funny joke instead of stumbling over your words and you still don’t actually know if he finds you funny or not.
“Cool,” Johnny says, taking a step closer to you. The clipboard doesn’t feel sufficient enough to put any real distance between the two of you. “Thought I could maybe come hang out with ye back here. Dinnae want ye to feel lonely.”
“Nope, not lonely at all. Totally peachy. Actually glad I could catch a break from…everyone.” You take a step back.
He follows you, another step forward. “Aye, dinnae worry, I get what ye mean. Some of the others—” he whistles, “—right buggers. Glad to catch a break myself as well.”
A bead of sweat rolls down the back of your neck. “Aren’t you supposed to be…out in the front? I, uh, don’t want you to get in trouble with Jeff—”
“Ah, Jeff’s fine, kitty, dinnae worry about me,” Johnny coos, sounding pleased as punch. He takes you at face value instead of reading into the set of your jaw and the way you keep inching away from him as he gets closer to you, convinced that you genuinely in your heart care about whether he gets written up or not. “They fuckin’ love me, ye ken? Think he wants ta take me out for lunch tomorrow, but told him I’d only go if he invited ye as well.”
“Oh. That’s nice,” you whisper instead of screaming. You’re doing that a lot these days. Talking through the scream bubbling behind your front teeth.
“Would ye want ta then?” he asks, suddenly in your face, three quick steps bridging the gap between you in barely a second, hardly enough time for you to blink. You blink and it’s just Johnny, in startling definition. Thick eyebrows and scar across his chin, the bridge of his nose perfect like he’s never broken it before. “Grab some lunch with me?”
“I, uh…I brought my lunch from home.”
“It’s a’right, I’ll buy it for ye, hen. Dinnae need ta waste your money.” Sometimes when he talks to you, he gets like this, fervent and almost desperate. He seems only half aware of it. “Ye like that mediterranean place nearby, right? Seen ye go there once or twice; wanted ta tag along, but dinnae want ta alarm ye.”
“You saw me go there?” you repeat.
“Aye, happened ta glance out the window when ye were on your lunch break. Back before management changed my break time. Cheers for that as well because it was really startin’ ta bother me, ye ken? Not being able ta eat with my favourite coworker.”
You never know how to respond when Johnny lets on a bit too much about how he feels about you. Sometimes he slips up and it comes rushing out, a big spool of thread unwinding in front of you.
“Yeah, well…I don’t know about today but maybe…” you say, trailing off. There’s a danger in just brushing him off, you feel.
“Tomorrow then,” he decides, grin still splitting his face. “I’m no’ on the schedule, but I can drop by at your lunch break and go with ye. How’s that sound?”
“Well, you know…it sounds…” He’s close enough now that if you lean forward, you’ll faceplant in between his pecs. Despite everything, you have to slightly fight the urge. Sometimes you think it’d be easier if he weren’t so absurdly gorgeous. It doesn’t make any of his actions okay, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour just because he’s pretty, yet still he pulls you in somehow, magnetic. “It sounds—you know, actually, I think Jeff wanted to talk to me about something, so if you don’t mind—”
Johnny tries to say something, but you manage to duck around him and scurry off, disappearing into the stacks of boxes before pressing forward until you burst out the main doors out of the warehouse. It leads to a hall that goes towards the store, but you haul it to the women’s washroom instead. The one place he can’t follow you inside.
In the washroom, you can finally breathe. Resting your hands on either side of the sink, you look into the mirror where haggard eyes with deep circles underneath stare back at you.
You flinch when one of the toilets flush and the stall door opens, another coworker stepping out.
“Did I hear Johnny outside?” she asks, taking the sink beside you to wash her hands. You nod, still tongue tied. “He really follows you everywhere, huh?”
For a second, your shoulders relax. “God, I know, he’s always just hovering—”
She cuts you off, sighing dreamily. “You’re so lucky. He’s so hot, it’s unreal. I can’t believe he works here, like that’s insane. I’d kill to have him as obsessed with me as he is with you.”
“He’s—he’s not into me, he’s just…you know, he just hovers.”
The water shuts off. Your coworker shoots you a dubious look, almost mocking. “Yeah, alright. Sure. Not into you. Not like he hangs off your every word. You don’t have to be humble—we’re already jealous. It’s like rubbing it in when you pretend like it’s totally normal.”
You slump, defeated, when she leaves without drying her hands. It’s moot to try and commiserate with anyone. They don’t see him the way you do, not for who he is. Your coworkers love Johnny; you’ve seen someone genuinely fistpump after being scheduled with him.
They don’t see any of the weird shit though. They don’t see the way he insists on walking you to your car well into the evening after a closing shift together. They don’t notice the way Johnny laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent.
They’re never around to see him ask if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. They’ve never seen him beg management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.
Sometimes you look at him and think, this guy should not be in the Appliance section of a big box store. Johnny should be on the front cover of magazines, in commercials for toothpaste, acting in Hallmark movies, or maybe hand modelling for obscenely ornate watch companies that cost the equivalent of a mortgage—not handing out free samples of sliced cheese.
That was then.
It starts like this: an overeager sales associate who butts his way to the front of the line on your first day.
You think at first that you’re golden. It seems like a sweet deal—an easy enough job, maybe not what you went to school for, but still something to pass the time and not too backbreaking. Plus, the guy shaking your hand and chatting up a storm in front of you is making you melt inside. He’s easy on the eyes—all bright smiles, effortless charm, either just brushing or exactly six feet, and built. Broad shouldered and lean.
Johnny’s a model employee as well—knows the handbook inside and out, and shows you the ropes on your first day along with the assistant manager giving you a tour of the store, which is helpful because there’s at least three floors that you could easily get lost on. He walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude, and you find out early on that management loves him because of his frankly incredible sales record.
(And you get it too; you can’t imagine anyone looking into those gorgeous blue eyes and turning him down.)
He's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some “Jobs for Vets” program that they just rolled out. The guy can also stack things on a shelf like no one's business, products lined up with military precision (hence the ex-military status).
All in all, you can’t help feeling like for once in your life, you didn’t draw the short stick.
Then one day, you’re alone with Johnny in the breakroom early in the morning before the store has opened yet and he turns to you with a wide, boyish grin and says apropos of nothing, “Named my fleshlight after you.”
You think your brain skips a couple tracks like a record player. You rewind and replay what was just said to you. There’s no two ways about it—you must have misheard him. Of course you did because surely your coworker of two months didn’t just look you in the eyes and say with a sweet sunshine smile that he named his sex toy after you.
He doesn’t laugh, just stands there and smiles while stirring sugar into his coffee. He takes it black. You take note of that because the brain still has to work when the mind shuts down momentarily, so you use it instead to catalogue things around the breakroom. One of the motivational posters hanging near the door is hung a bit off-centre. The fluorescent lightbulb on the far side of the room is dimmer than the others. Johnny’s eyes have a little light spot in them like the tip of an ocean wave.
“Excuse me?” you ask, dumbfounded. Your voice sounds hollow even to you.
“I named her after ye,” he repeats, not a trace of shame in his voice. “Used ta not have a name at all, but figured since I say it so much when I’m enjoyin’ her, she might as well share it with ya.”
He stares at you after saying that, letting it hang in the air. Your brain chooses that moment to come back online and all it can do is load that image of Johnny home alone with his fleshlight, toes curled in his sheets and the muscles of his legs straining as he moans your name. All you can do is give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking.
Then, something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, laughing and clapping you on the arm before wandering off to the men's apparel section.
It leaves you reeling for the rest of the day, sure you imagined it. It recontextualizes a few things for you though. He’s always been on the handsy side, verging on inappropriate, but skirting just enough around the edges of it that you usually brush off Johnny’s weird behaviour. Chalk it up to annoying little brotherly tendencies. You know he has a few older sisters anyway; you figured it was just how he related to women in his environment.
Not so.
It escalates after that initial escalation. Not that things started off on an appropriate note, but at least before you could rationalize most of his quirks.
Now it’s this: his hand on your lower back during work hours when you’re busy helping a customer and he sidles up next to you, pinkie brushing so low on your back that you worry for a second that he might slip it down the back of your pants. Lifting you up by the hips whenever you have a hard time reaching something on a shelf instead of just reaching up and grabbing it for you. A complete misuse of his height. He digs his fingers into your sides and never lets you go right away when he puts you down.
“Aw shit, bonnie,” he coos when you complain about it hurting you. “Dinnae mean ta hurt ye. Want me to give ye a little massage in the breakroom?”
You learn quickly that there’s no point in complaining about his behaviour to anyone. You can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. He's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet, they say. They defend him almost viciously; the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you to stand there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. That you'll just have to teach him better.
There’s not much you can do besides grin and bear it. You can hope one day that you'll get transferred; you don't have much hope for him being transferred. Not with how endeared he is to management.
When you finally open the door, ready to leave the bathroom and get back to work, you nearly scream when Johnny lurches off the wall across from the bathroom door where he’s been leaning. Waiting for you.
“C’mon, hen,” he says, all teeth. “Lemme walk ye back ta work.”
#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x you#soap/reader#ikea soap#john mactavish#soap mw2#soap mactavish#soap cod
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can we get gross pervy dom toby content 🙏
Some Gross Pervy Dom Toby Content
Toby Rogers x Gender Neutral Reader
Genre: NSFW
Summary: There is really no plot to be summarized, Toby’s just a horndog and he chased you down. good fuckin luck
Content/Warnings: Dubcon/Noncon elements, implied stalking, horror elements, Toby being creepy, Toby smells you and touches you in the weirdest manner you can possibly imagine, NSFW with minimal (mostly implied) plot, no real sex happens just fucked up shit, no seriously this is nasty as fuck i’m getting put on a list for this
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
A/N: Just to avoid confusion, in my headcanon Toby has a stutter as well as but separate from his tourette’s; i’m writing his stutter, not his tics! thankies!
also READ THE FUCKING WARNINGS THIS ONE IS NASTY
Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun would fill you with less dread than staring up at the lanky boy who’s currently towering over you.
You don’t have to look at him to know there’s a twisted smile filled with crooked, chipped teeth spread across his face, hazel eyes scrunched at the corners as he grins like a madman. You don’t want to look at him, really, but you can’t stop yourself before you’re slowly craning your neck to see. Slowly his face comes into view, and it’s even more unsettling than you could prepare for.
His messy brown hair flicks up in all directions and partly obscures his eyes, and yet they seem to glow in the dim light of the sunset. One of his arms is above you, folded against the wall, while the other cages you into the corner. Besides his fingers drumming restlessly, he’s not moving, but his entire body is trembling with….excitement? His chest is heaving like he’s struggling to breathe, and the uncomfortable feeling of his warm exhale fanning over your face makes you shudder, and…oh god, is he drooling over you? Shit—
You press yourself hard against the wall, face burning hot against the cool air of the drafty abandoned building. Something tells you you shouldn’t take your eyes off of him for too long, but in your peripheral vision you can see through the broken windows. There’s nothing but trees in all directions, and the sky is rapidly darkening with each passing second. You’re watching any chance you had of escaping in the daylight slip from your fingers. Everything is becoming much too disorienting much too fast, thoughts racing and overlapping and screaming at you to do something, but you can’t. All at once you’re trying to figure out an escape plan, how to appease your captor for long enough to execute an escape plan, and how you even got here in the first place.
The last thing you remember is running from him, the branches of the thicket grabbing at your pants and arms as if trying to hold you back. You had no choice but to run into the old hospital, but now you’re wishing you’d simply kept going.
You must’ve moved too much for Toby’s liking, because he suddenly grabs onto your arm with a grip that feels strong enough to snap the bone in two. You yelp in pain, a second gloved hand quickly clamping over your mouth. The echo of your cry rings loud in your ears, and for a moment you wonder if it’ll ever go quiet again.
“You…you…” Toby stutters, and your eyes widen at the sound of his voice. You aren’t sure what you were expecting to hear, but he just sounds so…normal, like any other nineteen year old boy, except if it were anyone else in any other scenario a mere couple of syllables wouldn’t strike such fear into you.
“You ran a loooong t-time…” He scolds, but his grin doesn’t falter. He brings his hand away from your mouth to shake a finger at you, seemingly trusting you not to scream.
Not like it would matter. You made him chase you pretty far in.
In an instant his hands are on your waist, slipping under your shirt and eagerly grabbing at the soft flesh he finds beneath. You have to bite your tongue to hold back another yelp.
“Oh, ooohh but it w-was worth it!” Toby slurs with a drawl, “I’ve f-finally fooouund yooouu, aha…”
He sounds so proud of himself. Something about his tone is almost childish, deceivingly so. He truly thinks he’s done something amazing.
Your heart skips a beat when he suddenly freezes, face going void of all emotion, and you wonder if you’ve truly angered him. If you did, would that be the mistake that ended it all?
Fortunately, it seems he was just changing gears. You panic when you realize he’s leaning in towards you, but he moves past your face to practically bury his nose in your neck, taking a long and deep breath. He lets out a faint laugh as he breathes out, and it feels like a horrible sensation crawling down your spine. The only thing you can do is grab onto his arms, nails digging into the dirty and worn fabric of his hoodie. It’s practically caked with dried mud in some areas and you can feel the dry cracking beneath your hands.
“I m-missed your…your s-smell…” Toby whispers. You’re confused for a moment, and it takes a few seconds for it all to set in.
‘Missed?’
He’d…smelled you before?
He ‘missed’ you…
“I-I should have…should have visited m-more…I-I got ssso busy, b-but I didn’t forget you, I-I promise…”
He keeps talking, but it starts to fade out. Only a few words matter, anyways.
There’s an incredibly brief moment of clarity that flashes through your mind, a split second flicker of understanding that you hadn’t just been misplacing or losing things, that you weren’t imagining all those noises or shadows that you told yourself were childish things to be afraid of, and it nearly floods your brain before it disappears as quickly as it appeared. Maybe you purposefully pushed it out, at least for now. There was too much going on to process the past. If you were lucky enough to get out of this alive, you could reflect then.
You’re frozen for a few moments as Toby’s idle hands begin to wander, as they always do. He’s at least considerate enough to feel you up through your clothes, but that doesn’t stop you from sucking in a harsh breath through your teeth when he roughly gropes your ass. It forces you to push yourself into him as you try to get away from the aggressive grip. You can feel him laugh with his chest pressed flush against yours.
He takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, and it’s become painfully obvious that he’s much stronger than he looks. You’d never expect someone so skinny to be able to manhandle you like this.
He sways slowly from side to side as he holds you, one unsteady hand toying with your hair in a gesture that, on Toby’s end, seems as though it is meant to be sincere.
“Th-There’s so much I want t-to do to y— to do with y-you…so little time…” He goes on muttering to himself over something or other, but you can’t understand him as he trails off.
He seems preoccupied with his own thoughts, distracted enough that you begin to squirm. He doesn’t react, continuing to quietly rant about nothing while stroking your head. You struggle again, a bit bolder this time. Nothing.
Maybe you actually had a chance, you just had to slip away. Hell, maybe you’d get lucky and run the right way on the first try; for all you know you’re only a mile away from a highway, that could be your lifeline. You just had to slip away—
“Stop it! Stop doing that!”
…Easier said than done, it seems.
Hearing Toby yell, seemingly allowing a genuine flash of anger to overtake him as he slams you back against the wall, chills you to the core. He was unpredictable, bouncing back and forth between the extremes of whatever emotion he was feeling, making it impossible to plan around his potential actions.
His hand splays out across your chest to keep you pinned to the wall. He’s applying much more pressure than he needs to, and he knows it. His smile twitches as you struggle to recover from having the wind knocked out of you.
When he reaches back for his pocket, you expect him to pull out a weapon; maybe a knife, or even a small handgun you somehow hadn’t noticed.
But no. He returns with something much smaller, and your brows furrow in confusion as you struggle to make out the shape among the shadows that have quickly taken over your space.
“What’s t-the matter?” Toby asks, “Never seen a-a condom before?”
He snickers cruelly at the way your mouth hangs open in reply.
“Whaaaat? I-I’m trying to be nice…don’t be a bitch.”
“N…Nice?!” You choke out in reply, and this time Toby’s jaw drops.
“Oh, it does speak!” He exclaims with genuine excitement. “Good, good��s-so good…”
He holds the corner of the wrapper in his mouth so that his hand can be free to fumble with his belt. The sound of the buckle clanking as he slips it off makes your stomach flip. Your gaze flicks quickly back and forth from his pants back to his eyes, and he hasn’t stopped staring at you. You haven’t even seen him blink.
His tongue runs over his glistening teeth as he prepares to speak again:
“I h-hope you squeal for me, pretty thing…When we’re done here, I’m t-takin’ you with me…”
#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta smut#creepypasta headcanon#gender neutral reader#tw dubcon#tw noncon#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby smut#ticci toby#toby rogers
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KIDD; kiss-proof lipstick review
warning/s: very fluff, fem reader, youtuber/streamer!kidd, shy!s/o, modern au, most nsfw thing could happen is an abrupt makeout
note: based from this -> post, smaller italicized texts are sub-bullets
kidd as a youtuber that normally does metal covers with his band (heat, killer, and wire)
has about a solid following of 100k subs bc they're just so cool
that is until his viewers asked for his makeup tut bc he always looks so bomb
his viewers have also requested fit checks like what he wears in a week
kidd forgot to mention that he has a s/o, which mildly upset a certain demographic who was ahem thirsty for him
you as his gf doesn't really mind if he talks to himself in front of his phone or camera on random times, but he always tells you a quick warning beforehand bc you sometimes appear on the bg of his vids/streamer
i also think that at some point, kidd does game streams bc he's lazy to edit. his fanbase supports any content he does whether it's just yap streams or food streams or band rehearsals
i feel like he always aims for competitive games that are pvp like MK, COD, league, etc. it just feeds his ego, and he enjoys trashtalking 😭 riling his opponent up and all that
it's all so funny, which explains his fanbase that tolerates his insufferable temper and jokes. it takes a certain kind of humor that other people might take as offensive
but the second he got sponsored by a punk make-up line, a pr box arrived at his doorstep bc he rarely checks his emails
he'd ask you to do a makeup stream with him, but you were too shy about it. especially after being the final boss of a certain demographic that is attracted to him 😭 but you never told him that. knowing him, he'll probably flip all of them off and cause drama
he'd start up stream, poorly introducing the products. you laughed to yourself at how bad he was at complimenting or kissing ass to the brand he legit has never heard of😭
kidd knows how to apply his makeup; shadow, liner, and lipstick. he tried on a purple and red shadow combo and his usual full eye liner.
his stream at that point became very chill, his fans loving every bit of his craft and how focused he was doing everything. especially at how he looked like afterward
"now we got- kiss-proof lipstick? they sent me a shit ton of fuckin' shades!" he showed a whole box of liquid lipsticks. laughing at the ridiculous amount.
his fanbase requested a test of the kiss proof on his palm, showing interest in the product
but kidd had different ideas. it might be a good way to hard launch you already.
his ig and twt already had pictures of you during dates, but your face was always hidden most of the time
"a test on my palm? oh boy, i have a better idea for that."
he'd call you, "babe! baby! c'mere a moment, i need ya a bit."
his chat would go: "babe?!?! omg hard launch?!", "omg here is his s/o!", "OH GOD KIDD YOU SLICK CHEEKY FUCK!"
you'd be scared for a bit, but kidd looked really excited. besides you also want to check out his makeup products.
"are we gonna do it together?" you muttered lowly, referring to the review
"kinda." he shrugged. "i just got one lil job for you, you'd love it promise."
you were skeptical at first but oh well. kidd lets you pick the lipstick of your choice, which was a bright red. it always looks good on him.
the chat was highkey going crazy when your body from neck below was showing
they also noticed how kidd started acting differently, he spoke softly and he had this meek smile while looking up at you
he lets you apply it on him. you were now seating with the seat he pulled to let you down. the chat now being able to see you. you waved a hi shyly, and man the view count started going up
twt was already full of you guys 😖
kidd then fanned his lips, waiting for the product to dry.
"ok, what's next?" you asked, popping the lid close
"this." he grabbed the back of your head and kissed you on stream. holding the kiss pretty good in there, smirking through it as he did so, before sucking on your lips open
you were too flustered and frozen but he even had the audacity to angle his head the other way to continue kissing you
it was pretty fucking lewd, he was really getting in there
but you, you melted from his lips and his firm grip on your nape
the chat and stream lagged at the amount of chats and view counts increasing exponentially
once he pulled away after a good 2 minutes, he turned to the screen and said, "so? it really is kiss proof, aye?" he bursted out laughing at your reaction which was the same when he started kissing you 🤣
the chat also went hysterical, both from freaking out with the both of you and your reaction
you honestly didn't mind, you half expected it. it's kidd we're talking about🤣 because kidd did it as a flex and as a fuck you to his haters (especially those who were targeting you)
you had to excuse yourself which resulted to even more comedic response from kidd at how cute you are. you were burning red btw
you later come back to tell kidd and chat that you're okay, and you plan to get back on him for that
JASDHSAJDJSAJDSA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! JUST DID THIS LAST NIGHT
#manga#anime#one piece#eustass kidd#cha writes#one piece headcanons#one piece x reader#eustass kid#eustass kid x reader#eustass kid headcanons#eustass captain kidd#eustass kid fluff#one piece eustass#eustass kid x y/n#eustass kid x you#one piece x female reader#one piece x y/n#one piece x you#one piece x gn reader#eustass kidd headcanons#eustass kidd x reader#eustass kidd scenarios#eustass kidd x y/n#eustass kidd x you#eustass kidd fluff
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Day twenty-one of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” ( no cut today, we die like Steph's tolerance for her dad's bullshit ). prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))
He should be taking notes, Tim realizes. This is a new and unprecedented level of supervillain behavior that his fifteen-year plan can only aspire to reach.
“Asdfghjk,” he says, which is apparently actually an actual sound that an actual person can actually make, go figure. Learn something new every day.
Kon laughs at him, the fucking bastard. Tim would probably swear vengeance but unfortunately Kon looks way too damn pretty and way too damn happy doing it and is not wearing a single thing he didn't buy him and bought him a camera with his first allowance and wants to see him skateboard and has also laughed so many times tonight that Tim is starting to develop the opposite of a tolerance for it. Like, he's getting weaker and weaker to it the more exposure he gets, which is in his opinion total bullshit and totally unfair but is unfortunately still happening.
. . . well, not necessarily unfortunately, since it’s specifically happening because Kon keeps laughing and looking happy about it, but that’s besides the point. Somehow. In some way. Just–somehow.
“You’re so fuckin’ cute, babe,” Kon says, grinning at him again. He keeps doing that too. He keeps laughing, and grinning, and just–just all these things that Tim is not prepared for and honestly doesn’t even know how he could’ve been? There’s having five minutes of prep time and there’s situations that are just impossible to prepare for because how could he have fucking KNOWN. How?! How could he ever have?!?!
Literally not possible, Tim is certain.
“You’re actually incorrigible,” he says, quickly flipping his dropped board onto its wheels with a foot and then giving it a quick pop to the tail and hooking a foot underneath it to kick it up into his hand. Kon looks delighted, his eyes immediately lighting up.
“Sick!” he says. Tim felt like maybe he was getting in a win for a second there, except Kon being genuinely delighted is actually even worse and he thinks he’s just, like, kind of screwed in general now? Kon’s not supposed to be genuinely delighted by things, he’s supposed to pretend to be too cool to be impressed or just jealous that someone else is getting attention!
Tim really, really could not have ever been prepared for this.
“So like, do you know any cool tricks?” Kon asks with a wider grin, still looking way too genuine about his excitement. Tim is resigned to ruining his best non-funerary/non-gala slacks and possibly also his shirt and definitely also his dignity. His dignity is as scuffed as the shoe he just dropped his board on, and frankly that’s being optimistic.
Extremely optimistic.
“I know a couple okay ones,” Tim says, since Robin-level parkour doesn’t count as either “tricks” or anything he could show Kon, and also he’s screamingly out of practice, and also he was never really that good a skateboarder even when he had the time to do it regularly, plus skill decay is a thing and–
“That mean you’re gonna show me a trick or two, daddy?” Kon asks, grinning slyly at him.
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more of jessie lying wetly
chapter one
chapter two
cool art by @hamandeggbun
and brand new shiny chapter three. on god I am not allowed to post another one until I finish writing chapter ten.
The interior decor of One-Eyed Polly’s had changed precious little since the last time Jessie saw it, although the floors were a little more scratched up and the felt on the pool table had acquired some upsetting new stains. The only thing that had changed was the enormous NO SMOKING sign on the back wall, right where everyone could see it.
The second she stepped inside of the bar the universe conspired to give her the entrance of a stranger blowing into town in an old Western, with the jukebox pausing between songs and conversation hitting a lull just as she stepped on a creaky floorboard, drawing all eyes to herself. She flashed an ice cold Frostbite smile, tossed her hair, and wished desperately that she’d worn her costume. It would make her look like a total douchebag, sure, but it would also remind everyone she was dangerous.
Jessie strode back to the bar like it was a catwalk anyway, but the whispers and mutters that followed her were not promising.
“Still owes me twenty dollars.”
“Did I tell you she blocked me?”
“I thought she got arrested.”
“What did Sub-Zero say?”
Okay. Okay. Not awesome, but it was fine. They could say anything they wanted about her, but how many of these washouts and wannabes would actually try anything? None of them. They didn’t know that she was unarmed and floundering without her brother. She hadn’t worn her costume because she didn’t need to; her reputation was still strong enough to protect her. Not to mention she wanted all of these dweebs to see her wearing jeans that cost more than their mortgage payments and choke on the jealousy.
Maudie was behind the bar, grayer and butcher than ever. Her face was lined now, enough that it gave Jessie pause. Was her godmother getting old now? When did that happen?
Not that Maud was letting it soften her up at all. She raised a bushy brow at Jessie by way of greeting and launched right into putting her through the wringer. “Well, well. Look at that. A real-deal supervillain graces us with her presence. Thank you for deigning to descend from the gravy train, your highness.”
“Aww, Maudie, come on. Don’t be like that, it’s my birthday.”
“As if I don’t know. Did you get your card?”
“Did you send one?”
Maud rolled her eyes, hard. “Of course I sent one. What kind of schmuck do you take me for?”
Of course she wouldn’t know; Jessie hadn’t checked her mailbox in at least a week.
She realized, with despair, that there were tears crowding up around the edges of her eyes, little pinpricks begging to be let loose. When had she gotten so sappy? She wasn’t even most excited about the crisp fifty dollar bill that Maudie always tucked inside of her cards, although that was a relief. It was mostly that someone had even remembered she existed and wanted to do something nice for her that was really turning her into goo.
“Well, I appreciate it,” she said, choking down her onslaught of emotions. Maudie would hate her making a scene like that; she never knew what to do when people cried. “But, hey, I’m not here to talk about me. How are you doing? Are you feeling alright?”
“The hell do you mean, do I feel alright?”
“Well, you always said that you’d only make people stop smoking in here over your dead body. And now nobody’s smoking, so I figure you must have gotten real close to having a dead body.”
Maudie snorted. “We had a scare last year. Doctor thought he had something, turned out not to be serious. But you know how the dames are. Next thing I know, nobody’s allowed to smoke in here and I’m getting yelled at if I don’t eat vegetables and go for a fuckin’ walking every morning.”
She shook her head, fondly exasperated. The dames were the two iron-tongued femmes Maudie had been in a relationship with for decades, largely considered to be the real masterminds behind One-Eyed Polly’s. According to Maudie, they only kept her around to look pretty and serve the drinks.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jessie demanded. “We could have helped with the bills, or I could have brought over soup. Something.”
“I didn’t want to bother you, kid. Your brother made it pretty clear that you were busy.” And then, before Jessie could apologize or otherwise risk making things sentimental, Maudie cleared her throat sharply. “You want a drink, or what? First round’s free for the birthday girl.”
“Yeah? Let’s do a straight whiskey and a burger,” Jessie said, knowing damn well that she’d be drinking nothing but dirt cheap beer for the rest of the night. “Do the fries still come with that, or is it extra?”
“It’ll be a cold day in hell when I charge people extra for a side of fries. That shit comes with the burger,” Maud said gravely.
There were a lot of things that could stand to be improved about One-Eyed Polly’s, but the food was not one of them. So what if the fry cook telepathically talked with rats? He could work a grill. The basket that arrived in front of Jessie contained a beautifully constructed medium rare burger packing the exact correct amount of grease, surrounded by steak fries that had been seasoned to absolute perfection. Pardon Jessie while she drooled a little bit.
“Hey, Maudie,” she said, half a burger later. “You still have Joney’s van?”
Her godmother raised an eyebrow a fraction of an inch, which for Maud was an expression of profound skepticism. “I’d love to know how the hell you think I could’ve lost it.”
“No no, that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to see if I could grab it from you.”
“Can’t get your car back from Voltzz, huh?”
“Hmm?” Jessie asked, playing dumb.
“Do not try the bimbo act on me, Jessica Jolene. You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“God. How did you even hear about that?”
“Are you kidding? I hear about everything in here. We had a bunch of schlubs in here doing shots at noon because they thought Ricochet dragged you off for good.”
“Okay, tacky.” Jessie licked her lips, her mouth suddenly feeling extremely dry despite an abundance of gloss. “Maudie, can I ask you a question? It seems like I’m maybe, um, not very popular around here.”
Maud stared her down with eyes like chisels. “That’s not a question.”
“You know what I mean!”
“I don’t know what to tell you, kiddo. They hate your guts.”
“Maudie!”
Jessie’s complaining was cut short by a sweaty, nervous-looking man appearing from the kitchen and hurrying to Maudie’s side. He shot Jessie a look that could really only be described as distrustful, then leaned in close to deliver his message to Maud. She shrugged him away almost before he finished speaking, peeved by his damp proximity.
“So get her shift covered. Why do you need my permission for that? Call Billy. Or, hell, see if Tash can make it in. She’s always dying for extra shifts. Tell Jordan I’ll come sort her out in a minute and then get your ass back out here to cover the bar. The dishes can wait.”
Maudie sighed and turned back to Jessie as her dishwasher departed, shaking her head. She suddenly looked about a hundred years old. “Kid, I miss the days when the worst I had to deal with was bartenders coming in drunk.”
“What happened?”
“One of my girls, Jordan. She’s got that fucking, what do they call it? Void pox? She kept going see-through when she came in but she swore she’d be fine. Except she’s not fine, she started getting these little cartoon demons popping out of her head. Pretty harmless, only about this big, but if I never have to kill another one with a broom it’ll be too soon. Anyway, I had her sitting down in the back, but now she’s starting to make things levitate and I can’t have that. I need to find her a ride home.”
“Could I come see her?” Jessie asked with, in hindsight, way too much enthusiasm.
Her godmother hit her with a look that was genuinely withering. “You can keep your ass right here and be nice to Nikesh while he tends the bar. And you can leave Jordan alone. It’s a 24-hour bug, she’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”
“I know that!”
“So drop it, then! For once in your life, don’t get so pushy about this superhero shit.”
Maud ducked back into the kitchen on that deeply unencouraging note, sending poor Nikesh back out to hold down the bar in her stead. He studiously avoided Jessie’s gaze when she asked him how his night was going, spitting out single syllable answers until she gave up and asked for a hard cider, which he provided without once actually turning his face in her direction. Jessie dropped a five in the tip jar anyway, because she believed very firmly that you were supposed to tip generously unless the waiter had purposefully set you on fire and maybe even then. Running through the last of your money in the entire world was no excuse to be a lousy customer.
The problem being, of course, that she had hoped this would be a case of spending money to make money. She’d shell out a little for a night at One-Eyed Polly’s, reestablish herself as a villain of the people, and announce that she was hiring to thunderous applause. Henchpeople out the door, heaps of cash secured, the money that she’d pissed away on bottom shelf booze now a worthwhile investment.
Unfortunately, all of that had depended on there being someone, anyone, left in town who didn’t hate her guts.
“Hey, Nikesh? Do you like working here?”
“It’s a living,” he said, still looking down.
“If I offered to pay you, like, five times what you’re making right now, would you work for me?”
“Fuck no.”
“Ten times?”
He actually looked at her for a fleeting second, his gaze touching off hers for just a moment. Jessie was vomitously aware that there was something that looked a lot like pity in his face. “Look, lady. It’s not about the money. It’s about not wanting to get my ass kicked.”
“Jesus Christ. Am I really that bad for business?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Is that why you won’t even look at me?”
“Yeah. You understand. Can’t look like we’re getting friendly.”
“Respect. You gotta look out for number one, Nikesh. I can throw a drink on you, if you want.”
“Yeah? That might be good, actually. We could make people think I said something really nasty to you. That could actually be great for my rep.”
Jessie groaned, resting her face in her hands. This was going to be an absolute non-starter. Polly’s was the biggest rat-hole in town; everyone knew that this was a place where people would turn a blind eye to almost anything. Everyone put aside their beef here, because the place would never function if they didn’t and no one wanted to be the asshole who ruined the only functioning villain bar in town. If a bartender was too scared to even look at her directly, Jessie’s reputation must be worse than dirt.
Why? Because of last night’s embarrassing little tantrum? Couldn’t be it. Nobody complained about the time Voltzz snorted bath salts and went on a rampage, or when Incinerator got drunk and started taking potshots at cop cars. Hell, if anything they’d both gotten more popular after that. Jonas might sneer at the lack of precision and control, but Jessie had tried to tell him a thousand times that people liked to see a supervillain go a little off the rails. It was aspirational, right? It let people imagine what they might do, if they had the power to really cut loose.
Why was she different? Sure, people hated to see a woman having fun, but that couldn’t possibly explain all of it. Maudie could probably explain it, whenever she finished mopping up the poor sap with the void pox. Maudie heard about everything.
In the meantime, she might as well try to make the most of her evening. If she wasn’t going to be making new friends, she could at least have a little fun. Who cared about her bank account? If she was screwed, she might as well go out with a splash.
“Nikesh? Open me up a tab. It’s my birthday and I want shots.”
***
Jessie Chilton was not a lightweight. Despite spending most of her early life watching her father get eaten alive by booze she had an exceedingly friendly relationship with alcohol, and could usually hold her drinks pretty well. Jonas had never touched the stuff, erring hard on the side of caution, but Jessie knew that she could stop any time she wanted.
Her miserable 26th birthday was not that time. That night she drank like the world was going to end, because it very possibly was. Her world, at least, and what else was she supposed to worry about? She knew damn well the scope of what she could be held responsible for, and presently it was mostly downing as much tequila as she could.
Which meant she ended up in the bathroom, eventually, because all of that liquid had to go somewhere, and in the time-honored tradition of wasted girls everywhere she got weird about it. While Jessie sat in the cramped and questionably-lit stall she started thinking about how she’d very nearly been born in this very room and what a miserably inauspicious start that was, and how perhaps she should have known that her life was always doomed to go down the toilet despite a decade or so of delusionally believing that she might be meant for something better. She wished that she had some friends to cry to, and briefly regretted the loss of Whirligig. Getting sloppy drunk and crying in club bathrooms together had been about the only thing that friendship was good for, but sometimes that was all she needed it to be.
In the absence of anywhere else to turn Jessie called the person who had almost always been there for her, until he spectacularly wasn’t.
Hey, Joney. It’s your favorite sister. And I know what you’re thinking: ‘Jessie, you’re my only sister, why are you doing exposition like a lunatic?’ Well, it’s because you haven’t been acting like I’m your favorite sister lately, or like you even know me, so I figured maybe you needed the reminder.
Did you even notice it’s my birthday? You’ve never forgotten it in my entire life. But you know who remembered? Uncle Ray. And Maud. And that’s fucking it. And Ricochet was soooOOOOOOoooo mean to me this morning. Like, you wouldn’t believe. She’s getting way too cocky, if you ask me. You should come back and kick her ass into orbit. Remind her who’s boss around here.
You should come back in general, actually. I miss you. But I’m also mad at you. It’s, like, a real dick move to take off and not even leave me with any money. I mean, I had money. Past-tense. But it’s gone now. I could have, like, I could have definitely spent it better. Smarter? I got these really stupid expensive boots with real crystals on them and then when I tried to return them they said I couldn’t because there was a scuff on the toe, which is like… whatever. I’m wearing them right now even though they’re way too fancy for Polly’s. Might as well get my money’s worth.
But I also just don’t have anything. Like, where’s the bank account? Where is the bank account, Jonas? I earned half that money, so why can’t I… I mean, you literally never told me how to get into it. To my money. Which I guess in hindsight was, like, I should have had a problem with that way sooner, but you made it sound extremely reasonable! And now I’m this close to Uncle Ray throwing me out on my ass, because I couldn’t pay the May rent and I can’t pay the June rent, either, at the rate things are going. I opened a tab at Polly’s and I don’t have enough to pay it, so now Maudie’s going to be mad at me, I think. I don’t know, I’m not even actually sure how a tab works. Isn't that stupid? I'm, like, so mad at myself lately got how much stuff I don't know.
Everybody’s mad at me.
And you won’t even call me back, and I can’t even afford toilet paper, so that’s, like, a lot. And I’m not handling it well. And I’m drank as a skank at Polly’s, in case you couldn’t tell, so go ahead and get your panties twisted up about that. I’m fucking spiraling, buddy. I’m in my fucking up era out here.
So. You should come home.
Or at least tell me where you are or what you’re doing or why you left, okay? Because I hate no knowing that. We’re supposed to tell each other things. And I’m scared about what’s going to happen if you’re gone much longer because, like, everything is going wrong. And I think you might have really left me screwed here, okay? Which is crazy, because it was supposed to be you and me against the world, but I’m not fucking seeing it right now.
By this point Jessie was crying and snotting pretty hard, absorbed enough in her own agonies that she didn’t realize she wasn’t alone in the bathroom until someone rapped lightly on the door of her stall and almost scared her shitless.
“Hey. You okay in there?”
It was not the voice of someone particularly warm and fuzzy or confident about checking in on a stranger, which actually made it a little sweeter that they’d bothered.
“I’m fine,” Jessie lied, wetly. “I’m just, like, I’m on the phone.”
“Yeah, I can hear that.” Whoever they were, they were sorely tempted to leave it at that and go back to minding their own business. Jessie could tell. Outside the stall, a pair of tennis shoes that had been worn damn near to dust rocked back and forth, weighing the options. “I just wanted to say that they’re not worth it. Whoever’s making you feel this bad, you shouldn't waste your time on them.”
“Okay,” Jessie said. And then, into the message she was still leaving for her brother: “I have to go, a nice girl in this bathroom says you’re not worth it. Please call me, love you, bye.”
“Great,” the stranger said dryly. “Crushed it.” Their beaten-in shoes scuffed away, back over to the sinks. Had Jessie missed an entire other person pissing next to her? God, that was embarrassing.
She wadded up some genuinely horrific single ply toilet paper and dabbed at her face, hoping she didn’t look too atrocious. All of her makeup was waterproof, which had to count for something. “Hey, thank you for that. I really needed someone to snap me out of it. I was being so pathetic.”
“Whatever,” said the voice by the sinks. “Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve been there, I get it.”
Jessie’s heart was getting squeezed around like one of those awful tubes full of goo and glitter and little plastic animals, the kind that everyone used to make jerk off motions. Who was this? Would they still be so nice to her if they knew who she was? What were the odds she could salvage a single actual friend out of this wretched garbage fire of a day? It didn’t even have to be a lifelong bestie, just someone she could have a few drinks with.
“My name is Jessie,” she said hesitantly.
She heard her new friend sigh. “I’m Tash.”
“Do you come here often? I’m not asking that in the pervert way, I’m just curious if you’re, like, a regular.”
“I work here,” Tash said, with as much contempt as anyone had ever had for their workplace.
“Oh. Do you like it?”
“Sucks shit. But, you know. You do what you’ve got to do.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Are you okay in there? I’m gonna get my ass reamed if I let somebody drown in the toilet.”
“No, I’m okay. I’m just, you know.” Which was a fucking nothing explanation, but Jessie’s voice was still damp and wavering enough that it presumably got the point across. “I need a moment to get it together.”
“I hear that,” Tash said. “I usually use the walk-in when I need a second.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s not very big, but it’s quiet. And the cold kind of helps pull me together, I guess. Stay focused.” She cleared her throat again. “Sorry to dump that on you.”
“No, that’s okay. It makes sense,” said Jessie, noted cold enjoyer. “Do you keep anything fun in there? Maud’s never let me see it.”
“You know Maud?”
“Yeah, since I was a kid. Isn’t she the best?”
“She’s a real son of a bitch. But she's the only boss I’ve ever believed when she says she gives a shit about me, though.”
“Sounds like Maudie,” Jessie agreed fondly. “Anyway, what’s in the walk-in?”
“Fucking nothing exciting. Burger patties, mostly. I don’t know. Like I said, not a lot of room.”
“Plenty of room for you.”
“Yeah, every time I have a total breakdown at work.”
“Does that happen a lot? No judgment, obviously. Pot .”
“I don’t know.” Tash sighed. “More often than you’d hope. Which is never, obviously. We don’t have to talk about this.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“What?”
“Your favorite color,” Jessie insisted. “I love asking people that. Nobody ever cares after you turn, like, twelve, right? But I care. And it’s a lot more chill than talking about, you know. Our favorite places to completely freak out in a shithole bar.”
“Okay. Sure,” Tash said. Everything about the strain in her voice suggested she was not naturally inclined towards whimsy, but at least she was making the effort to play along. “Will you assume I have clinical depression if I say gray?”
“Yes.”
“Well, joke’s on me, because I love gray and I do have clinical depression. But purple is also good. I like purple.”
“What shade? Eggplant? Periwinkle?”
“Just a nice, medium purple, I guess. Like, the platonic ideal of purple.”
Jessie had no idea what a platonic ideal was or why anyone would ever need to specify that they weren't trying to have sex with a color, but she was sitting on her stupid little toilet nodding like an idiot anyway because it felt so good to be making a connection with someone. “I dig that. Purple is good.”
“What about you?”
“Oh, cerulean for sure. With sparkles, ideally.”
“That’s blue, right?”
“Yeah. My jacket is actually, like, that exact color, I can show you.” Jessie sniffled tremendously, getting shakily to her feet and pleased to discover that she was feeling much more sober than when she’d wandered into the bathroom some time ago. And now look at her! Practically having a whole meet cute. What a turn around on the evening. “Okay, I’m coming out now. Don’t gag if my makeup’s a mess, I’m going to fix it.”
She tossed her hair and stepped out of the stall, at which point several things happened to her in rapid succession.
Tash was standing underneath one of the humming, flickering lights that barely managed to illuminate the dark cave of the ladies’ room. She struck a slim figure, drowning in a huge hoodie with two skinny black-clad legs sticking out like a cartoon character. She was wiping down the sinks but turned as Jessie emerged, the fuzzy light illuminating her from the back like a bargain bin halo.
The first thing Jessie noticed was that Tash was a lot shorter than she had been expecting.
The second was that Tash had beautiful eyes.
The third was that those beautiful eyes and indeed her entire face were curdling up in horror as recognition set in.
“What the fuck,” she said. “Frostbite?”
The recognition and reaction alone weren’t surprising, given the colossal combined levels of notoriety and bad PR Jessie was currently enjoying. The part that nearly knocked her on her ass was that recognized Tash back.
“Oh my god!” she exclaimed, overjoyed and utterly failing to read the room. “Night Noir? Holy shit, girlie, I thought you were dead!”
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OOOO what about reader falling asleep on jamie’s shoulder after a late away game (maybe they come along to games on the bus) and realizing how much he loves them
Thanks for requesting! This one is a lot shorter, but I hope it’s what you’re looking for <3
silent sleepers
Rebecca lets you come to games on the team bus. Well, you say she lets you, it’s really the team’s choice. She’s just the one who signs off on it. You go for Jamie, who gives you the window seat and holds your hand the whole way there and back, joking with the lads. You don’t talk a whole lot, but you don’t really mind. Sometimes Colin or Isaac will turn around from the seat in front of you and you’ll spend an hour chatting and laughing about whatever, but for the most part you just look out the window and think.
Life is busy, so you don’t often get time to sit without having to talk. It’s nice to be here on this smelly bus, holding Jamie’s hand because you’re both relaxed.
A voice breaks through your reverie. “Good morning, Mrs. Tartt.”
You look away from the window to see a grinning Dani turned around in his seat in front of you.
You smile. “I’m not his wife, Dani.”
“Not yet anyway, eh?” Still grinning, he pokes Jamie who gives him a cut it out motion where you can’t see.
You don’t notice and laugh, blushing a little. You’ve only kind of talked about the future with Jamie, and you don’t really think he’s the type to settle down like that. It’s ok, you’ll take him however you can get him. You settle into your seat, ready for an hour of comparing hair products with Dani.
—
The game went well, and you’re all piled into the bus. Everyone is excited, but so, so tired. The chatter has turned to a dull murmur as you hug Jamie’s arm, watching the lights go by out the window. He’s warm and you can feel him breathe, and pretty soon you’re passed out, asleep on his shoulder.
Jamie, on the other hand, is sitting very, very still. He doesn’t want to wake you, especially because you don’t usually sleep very well. He presses a light kiss on the top of your head and you twitch, so he pulls away. He looks at you, with your eyes closed and mouth parted, muscles relaxed after being constantly tensed. Hair slightly tousled. He could sit here like this forever.
He thinks about Dani’s teasing words earlier. Mrs. Tartt. He turns the words over in his head. Mr. and Mrs. Tartt. The Tartts. He likes how that sounds.
God, he sounds like a fucking middle school boy, writing your name over and over in the notebook in his mind, hearts in the margins.
In all honesty, you were one of the best things that happened to him. He’s not sure how he pulled you in the same way you’re not sure how you pulled him, but he supposes it’s good that you think you’re mutually out of each other’s league. It’s a little bit sweet.
You had some initial awkwardness about him being a famous footballer, but you worked through it. Hell, you two worked through everything. You refused to back down from a disagreement, with the mantra it’s not you against me, it’s you and me against the problem.
You were also funny. He swore you two were the funniest people on earth once you got going. He felt like you two could do everything together. He wanted to do everything together. A thought flashes through his brain. Our kids will be fuckin’ adorable. He doesn’t dwell on the fact that his brain said will instead of could.
You let out a little sigh, bringing him back to reality.
Dani peeps over and winks at Jamie.
“Ey, muchacho, good game today, no?”
“Yeah, yeah, good, yeah,” Jamie whispers. “Hey, Dani.”
Dani cocks his head to say what?
“Mate. You gotta play it cool, man.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Dani asks innocently. “I always play my coolest. I think it was pretty evident in the goal I scored today.”
Jamie rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about on way over here when you made that fucking Mrs. Tartt joke.”
Dani places a hand over his heart. “You mean to tell me you do not want her to be Mrs. Tartt and I have made things uncomfortable for you? Oh no, I feel awful.”
Jamie would sock him in the arm if you didn’t have a death grip on him in your sleep. He levels Dani with a stare. “You know exactly what I’m talking about muchacho. You know how hard she is to surprise and if you ruin it, I’m sending Isaac after your hair.”
Dani gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“Fuckin’ try me,” Jamie grins.
Dani grins back and turns back around in his seat. Jamie looks down at you one last time and uses his other hand to reach into his left pocket. The little black box he carries everywhere is safe inside. He breathes out a sigh and rests his head on top of yours.
Mrs. Tartt. Yeah, it’s going to happen.
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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Hello hellooooooo! We recently had a banner contest in the discord server, and I wanted to show y'all the awesome entries that didn't win. They're all really cool in their own ways, so I wanted to give them each a lil moment.
(by @/jestie)
Love the focus on xyx!! He reminds me almost of what I'd think teenage him would look like. Very chill, sporty, and out with friends on a beautiful spring day. The linework in this feels really soft as well -- especially on those hat details. AND THERE'S CAT!! CAT!!!
All other submissions under the cut!
(by @/hunddenseje)
I like the details in the flowers a lot for this one. The way people draw roses and how they choose those inner patterns is always neat. And the little plants and mushrooms on his shoulders are fun!! They go well with that striped shirt pattern!!!
(by @/stintsy)
The way this artist circled the boys with that pink rosy pattern will stick in my brain for a while. It's v pretty, and it's like they opened a bush and found us in there for some reason. "Hello! Happy Spring!" Thanks boys please close it back up!!! It's my cry hour in the bush!!!!
(by @/emmascient)
This person's artstyle is so unique and full of life. The little spots of light coming through the trees just adds to whole thing, too. And I really like seeing fanart of owl with textured hair!!! Also check out xyx's fucking biceps holy fucking sh-
(by @/.mewo.)
Just a bunch of bros on their lunch break bayBEEEEEEEEEE!!! I like the detail of toast's coat tied around their waist and the fucking anti-societyboy shirt quest is wearing LMFAO. Also cat is ADORABLE in this. God. More cat art. Always need more cat art!!
(by @/c1nnadoll)
Every time nightowl is drawn in a croptop, two months is added to my life. I just know it's true. God bless that cute ass flower crown and the perfect little peace sign. Man looks so stable and happy. I hope he had a nice day after this picture!!!
(by @/fluffydeer21)
Toast and Quest look so content and cute with their flowers. And there's another neat rose with a lil interior pattern! Held, of course, by this artist's fave LI. Xyx looks pretty good with gold jewelry, I cannot lie. I have no idea why I made them green in game. LMFAO
(by @/noneivly)
I like how this feels like a painting. Like those brush strokes and even the palette choice just look like something you'd see hung on a wall? It's really cool. Also the little detail of the chibi picnic boys in the background makes me giggle. Small!!!!! So fucking small!!!
(by @/kiki_221)
The energy in this is excellent. You can almost hear them laughing together at Toast's expense (deserved I'm sure). I'd like to imagine they're all relaxing at a park after a big lunch. I hope they got to discuss all the good things that happened to them this week.
(by @/01noxxie10)
Another excellent chillin in the grass pic! Purple actually looks really good on Quest. I don't think I've ever drawn him in that color before? So this image made me think about that a LOT. Also look at fuckin chill ass xyx. Calm beautiful motherfucker. Fuck you!!! Fuck you!!!
--------------
There's two more images, but those are the discord banner winner and the one I chose for my twitter! If you want to see those excellent drawings, check out my twitter here or join the discord server here!
Thank you everyone for all the submissions! I treasure them deeply!!
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Tomura's Blk Girlfriend
Cw: monster cock shiggy, daddy kink, degrading (slut,) praise (sweetheart, baby), spanking, rough sex, hair pulling, choking, belly bulging, spit swallowing(reader), lowkey god complex shiggy, creampie
Word count: 2.4k 🎉🥳 Yippie you get a wc.
Authors notes: You can read this if you want to this was completely self Indulgence, good luck 💕 and reblogs are welcomed
You were the baddest bitch walking, hard to come by, hard to get with, and especially hard to please. Nobody would have guessed you'd have a loser boyfriend like Tomura Shigaraki. A loser boyfriend that does nothing but stream on twitch, drinks monster energy drinks, literally forgets to bathe unless it's with you, amazing dick game, hates going out but will do just about anything to please his goddess, his player 2, his Queen, the love of his life.
You were like a fantasy in front of him. Tomura didn't really understand fully how on earth he bagged you, even his homeboy Dabi hadn't a clue as to how it happened. One day Dabi and the gang decided to drag Tomura out of his shitty apartment, really it was Toga's idea of everyone hanging out at the mall. They even had an arcade so Tomura HAD to come with them and they didn't give him a choice at all.
It all started when they were hanging out at the arcade Tomura was trying to make up his mind as to what game he wanted to play first while Toga dragged Twice and Dabi around to different stores to look at “cute” stuff, Spinner, Mr.Compress and Big sis Magne had also split off to the food court leaving Tomura to himself where he just so happened to catch a glimpse of you struggling at a stupid claw machine. Those things were a big scam anyways , but you desperately wanted this cute ass hello kitty plushie for your collection and you just had to have it.
Just watching you fail time after time irked his nervous you either didn't know what the fuck you were doing or you just sucked ass at crane games, so he dug into his red trench coat for his wallet. This was your sixth time failing to get this damn plushie before tomura jumped in front of you with some money of his own.
“Hey! I was-”
“Oh Shut up and watch a pro at work.”
And you did exactly that, shut up. Watching him go for the same plushie you wanted. you were lost in thought for a moment thinking about if you couldn't get it, then what made him think he could. That was until she heard the machine's winner alarm go off bringing you back to reality.
“Do you want it or not lady?!” You had such a confused look on your face when you took it from him.
“How did you…”
“Pfft- Come on it was fuckin easy, you just suck at it.”
Looking past his rough, patchy looking skin he was actually fine as hell. But you really liked the look of his sharp piercing red eyes god he was so mean looking… and he had a bit of a mouth on him too. Meanwhile, When Tomura got a good look at you he was silently in awe from your glistening melanin skin, those kinky tight curls, the luscious curves of your body, yeah he was definitely checking you out, but thought to himself how you're way out of his league you'd never date someone like him, a loser.
“Aye... You- kinda cute, what's your name?”
“HUH!?” He was so stunned. A girl? Thinking he was cute? Attractive? Him!? You'd be the death of him. He nervously started scratching at the skin of his neck.
“You're joking right? Did Dabi set you up to this? I'll fuckin kill him-”
“No, no, wait who the fuck is Dabi? Actually, just chill babes I'm talkin to you?”
“I- hmph, why do you want to know my name?”
“Uh, so I can get to know my future boyfriend, but that's cool if your-”
“Tomura! Tomura Shigaraki and uh.. What's yours?”
Hm. Got em. “It's Y/N, but you can call me whatever you want, baby.” God it was like you were seducing him with just your tone, and voice he couldn't stand, but he had to have you whether you were joking with him or not, you were his from the get go.
Damn his heart was pounding out of his chest just from these silly pet names you were already giving him.
Tomura looked around to see if there were cameras anywhere, maybe he was getting punk'd- god he hated that show. Or maybe you were actually dead serious and he just didn't believe it because the only thing he's ever touched was his dick and bottle of some shitty off brand lotion that he never uses.
“So can I get your number, Cutie?”
“My Number?! Cutie?! No really are you for real right now this isn't some joke?! ”
Fast forward you've been with your loser boyfriend for about five years and counting. He's been so good to you despite him coming off mean as hell all the time it was something you had gotten use to, but also slowly learned he means well that's just how Tomura was and He has also learned to be a little more kind and gentle towards you, since you treat him so well after all. Washing and braiding his messy white hair, although his skin was never a problem to you- he couldn't help his skin condition leaving him with those damn wrinkles around his eyes, chapped and uneven lips, dry irritated flaky skin, but you wanted to help him as long as he let you. Oh how he loved the way you took care of him and his skin, buying him all kinds of skin care products for sensitive skin and eczema creams, you loved taking care of your man.
In return he took care of your every single need. You needed more hair products? Makeup? Clothes? Somebody dead? Sex? He'd do anything to please his Queen. Because of you he actually gets out a little more taking you out on dates, buying you whatever you like and he cleans up nicely just for you. he loved spending time with you the most whether you're watching him stream online, playing with him, listening to him argue with his viewers over you, helping you style and wash your hair, fucking like rabbits he loved every bit of it.
But boy did y'all have the best time in bed. Sex with Tomura was so good, you almost didn't believe he was a virgin the first time you two fucked and he was so big he had a damn third leg. It felt like he was splitting you in half on it there was just so much, but he was making you take that dick, everytime you two fucked he'd make you take all of it.
You especially loved it when he and the league of villains got pressed on COD and ended up losing.
“Damn it! Toga I told you to pick me up!”
“You were on the other side of the map I was trying, Twice was supposed to cover me!”
“Don't get your panties in a bunch, we'll get em next time.” Dabi took his headset off immediately.
“They cheated! I got domed by a camper, Toga!” Twice begged.
Big sis magne tried to be the one encouraging the group “Will get em next time boss!”
“I don't want a fucking next time, I want results, Fuck!” You knew he was angry when he threw off his headset. You were drooling from both your mouth and coochie definitely can't wait for the pounding you were going to receive as soon as he came in the room.
“Strip, now.” Instead of scratching at his neck he found a new way to relieve his stress, You.
Hell he really didn't have to tell you twice or at all really, but silly you not stripping before he ever opened his mouth.
“Yes, Sir.” you were trained well, just for him you couldn't wait to take his monster cock, all those delicious 12 inches.
You hoped he'd his sweatshirt on this time, the smell of his gamer boy musk turned you on little did he know.
“That's right, on your knees, I want you ass up, Slut.” And a slut you were after stripping your night clothes, you proceeded to do exactly what daddy said face down ass up just for him.
Tomura made his way over to you, getting a good look at that ass he loved so much, massaging your cheeks with his rough hands. Gripping, spreading your cheeks apart.. slapping. He was doing too much teasing to be this angry, you wanted him right now, but who were you to open your mouth and complain?
“Fuck…look at that. “ he said under his breath.
Tomura was staring at how drenched your pussy was for him already and he hasn't even fucked you yet.
He just couldn't get enough of you, watching you tease him by waving your pussy at him like waving a bone in front of a dog got him going.
He was in a hurry getting his dingy old sweats off not wanting to keep waiting any longer.
Tomura took his cock in one hand, rubbing the head in the slick of your pussy, letting out a satisfied groan once he shoved the head into your tight hole letting out a hiss as he pushed half of his cock in since that's all your pussy could take.
“Mmm, So big daddy..” You groaned and gasped as he started to move.
He groaned at her words, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him. Her tightness and the way she gasped only heightened his desire for her.
"You feel so good, sweetheart." he said, his voice rough and strained. "So perfect and tight. Fuck I could stay like this forever.”
Tomura's pace started to pick up the more he continued to admire your body, those bumps, and curves, stretch marks, the cellulite, the way your ass jiggled at each thrust he made, god he was drunk off of you. You were his stress relief at the end of the day and he wouldn't have it any other way.
“Don't whine now, you can take some more, come on take this dick.” He was damn near pounding into you, he took a handful of hair and yanked you up onto your knees without your back against his chest. Taking the same hand he put his arm around your throat and his other around your waist.
You loved it when he was this rough, it was so good you couldn't help, but to meet him thrusts, you desperately tried to keep up with his pace.
A smirk spread across Tomura’s face as he whispered in your ear in a rough and ragged tone “ uh huh, yeah throw that ass back on me, baby.” He stopped his thrusts so focus on feeling you use his cock to fuck yourself.
With the same arm around your waist he took his hand, gliding it down your belly to feel the bulge that his cock was leaving in you. “You feel me right here don't you, slut? Fuck, I'm gonna cum all on your insides, you deserve it don't you? Don't you baby? Yeah, Keep fucking yourself on my cock!”
“To- Tomura- Fuuuuck”
Unable to take the boring pace you were going at, Tomura shoved your face back into the mattress, pushed down on the arch of your back and continued at his brutal pace he had from earlier. The room was filled with the sounds of skin smacking against one another, moans and raspy groans coming from the two of you.
By this point you were a crying and moaning mess even a white ring was forming around his cock.
Tomura flipped you into your back he wanted to see that pretty little face you make when your cumming from his cock, he loved the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head to the way you swallowed his spit when he spat in your mouth, he loved the way you begged for air every time he choked grabbing at his wrist as tight as you could.
Once his thrusts started getting a bit sloppy that's when you could tell he was close, and he could definitely tell you were close the way your pussy tightened around his cock.
He could feel himself getting even closer, the orgasm building up inside him like a coiled spring, ready to snap. His moans are getting more ragged by the minute, Your stiletto nails digging small dents in his skin as you could feel yourself getting close to a climax.
“God! Fu—”
“That's right baby I am your fucking God, keep screaming my name while your at it.”
He groaned at the feeling of your nails digging into his skin, the pleasurable pain adding to the intensity of the moment. And the sound of you screaming his name sent him over the edge with one last thrust he came deep inside you and so did you. Tomura pulled his cock out leaving you shaking and quivering while he tried to catch his breath while taking in your expression you had from being so full of him to so empty you could almost pout.
But as much as he would love to give you more he had a stream to get back to so he gave you a quick kiss before whispering “Now you're a good little slut I'll give you some more cock when I'm done, until then you better not let a drop of my cum waste from that sweet pussy of yours, got it?”
All you could do was pout and nod, yeah it was a bit unfair, but he promised to give you more later, right? Knowing him, that'd be 2 hrs from now. But there was no use in complaining he was already back on stream before you could even make a complaint.
“So what you're telling me is that you guys can't do SHIT without me?”
“They called for an airstrike boss, what did you want us to do?!” Twice complained.
“Well as far as I'm concerned Compress and I carried the team.” Big Sis Magne exclaimed.
“And what about Dabi?”
“He kinda rage quit…” Mr.Compress said lightly.
“Wait Boss, before you get upset I did a good job picking up mostly everyone.. By Everyone I mean Dabi.”
“So not only do I hate him, he sucks dick at COD too Great.”
"Tomura you can't hate Dabi forever!"
"See that's where you're wrong Toga, see if you would let me show, I could take this to the next leave."
"But I heard that's not healthy for you." Toga pouted, worried about the health of her boss.
"Toga I have microplastics in my dick- I'll be fine.”
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