#that already hit hard but then they showed the doctor having to tell his mom and dad and just

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl, while I do mock Eastenders at times for how it goes about character exits, Leo Taylor's death hit pretty hard.

[simplesoup]

An Apple A day keeps the doctor away (If you throw it hard enough)

Doctor Izuku x G/Nreader (dirty mentions 😉)

Food is the way to a man’s heart it heals… it shows love~

You mom had told you that even since you could remember. You’d sit on the counter watching her cook while having a singing party

“Remember the secret ingredient love”

you grinned thinking about all those memories why you were thinking about them in the scariest place possible…. Him?… your… doctor… the man you purposely got sick just to see him…

“Y/n L/n Doctor Deku will see you now…”

you stud up walking to you usual room sitting on the bed grinning ear to ear you didn’t have anything wrong with you but this time you planned to make a move so you wouldn’t have to keep coming back to this dreadful place… the doctor could come take care of you in your own bed enough of this bull shit already..

you crossed your arms determined to say what you needed and if all failed you had a backup plan more like pun but it had to work! How could it not!….

soon a knock came followed by the man himself he walked in and crossed his arms giving you a cheeky grin “Oh let me guess stomach ache? Sore throat? Stubbed toe again?”

you blushed and shook you head god he probably already knew you were obsessed who the hell would go to a doctor for stub toe?! You! YOU BITCH! Especially if the doctor was this damn fine!

You giggled “Listen gonna be honest I’m not sick I just wanted to tell you something” you blushed feeling like you were rushing this. You pulled out a apple from your bag and tossed it to him “A apple a day keeps the doctor away too bad I don’t want you to go away” you flipped you H/L hair and winked at him

he caught the apple with ease looking at it then back at you “I’d be rich if I got a penny every time I heard about the apple part… that last part though that’s new~” he chuckled and bit into the apple looking in your eyes as he licked his lips “You really came here just to tell me you like me?”

you nodded you head innocently he narrowed his eyes and shook his head “Y/N I already put a ring on it stop doing thiss!” He whined crossing his arms at your antics god you were engaged to this man but you still had to mess with him in someway! Plus this was how you had gotten him in the first place granted…. Last time the apple may or may not have slipped and hit him right in the face…. Oops?

he kissed you cheek “Jesus…. Yes I’ll be home in time for the date” he rolled his eyes already reading you mind

You grinned “My throat hurts you should at least check it!~”

he raised a eyebrow walking towards the door “I’ll check it when I get home” he winked at you “You open up better in the bedroom~”

you were left stunned this…this was the man you were marrying!

(Plot twist!? What do we think? This one is idk tbh.. not my fav))

[reashot]

After Fall + Lancaster

Jaune: H-hey are you okay. Do you need me to take you to the doctor?

Ruby: J-Jaune what are you... I mean why do you looks so young!?

Jaune: Uh you feeling okay? I mean I'm always been young. And how do you know my name?

Ruby: Jaune stop kidding around! What happened to me after I drunk the tea? Are we still in the ever after? And where is that fu***** Cat!?

Jaune: W-wait a moment. Tea? Ever after? And what Cat are we talking about?

The only thing I can answer is that we're in Beacon and I actually just enroll here so I can't tell you about this place. I'm sorry.

Ruby: You just enroll here... But that's impossible. Beacon is gone...

No way... T-this is impossible. Where - I mean, when are we?

Jaune: Okay... I think you might hit your head a little too hard after that explosion. Don't worry I will help you find the academy infirmary. Oh I know you already know my name but let me introduce myself anyway. My name is Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue....

Ruby: Ladies loves it...

Jaune: Uh... Have we met somewhere before?

Ruby: .... No. I'm sorry but I think I really did hurt my head so bad. I'm Ruby by the way. (*grabs Jaune's hand*)

Jaune: (*pulls Ruby up*) Then we better find the infirmary. To have you checked.

Ruby: Oh no, please there's no need. As you can see I'm completely fine now. I'm just a bit dazed after the dust explosion... Me being a dumb "Crater Face" and all. 😋

Jaune: You shouldn't called yourself "Crater Face." That would have been if I called myself "Vomit Boy" because I pu... Oh! You were at the Bullhead when I puked all over the ship! I'm so sorry for puking next to you.

Ruby: Oh you don't have to apologize. Motion sickness after all is a lot more common than we realize. 😊

Jaune: I know right! I can't believe there's no motion sickness pill inside the Bullhead. That's just asking for trouble if you ask me. I'm surprised that there isn't more people puking on the ship.

Ruby: (He's such a dork😏) Jaune this might seem to come out of nowhere, but do you want to be my friend? 🥺

Jaune: Sure after all stranger are friend you haven't met yet. That's what my mom said anyway.

Ruby: (I knew he would say that. Oh Jaune why did I never have the courage to pursue you back during the Academy.😞) Thank you (*hugs Jaune*) 🥰

Jaune: Oh. Usually I don't mind when a cute girl is hugging me. But isn't it all too fast?

Ruby: (He called me cute!!! I knew it, I knew he likes me! 😫) Didn't you said that stranger are just friend you haven't met? And Jaune you can pat my head if you want. 😘

Jaune: I guess I did say that...

Ruby: Eh, he, he. I'm never letting you go Jaune... (Never...)

Jaune: Oh stop kidding around Ruby. We have to find the rest of students.

Ruby: No need. I know where they are. How about we take our time before we meet the rest of them? There's some place I want to take you to.

Jaune: Uh okay, I mean you seems to know more about this place than me so lead on Ruby.

Ruby: (Yes! I'm finally going to go on a date with Jaune. Don't worry Jaune I will make sure things are right this time. I will make sure you never have to lose anyone ever again. I'll save Pyrrha, Penny and everyone. Maybe I start by killing Cinder first... He, he, he. Oh I can't wait to see the look on that bitch's face as I behead her. Oh and maybe I'll help with Jaune's training too. That way he can be the hero he always wanted and I don't have to be alone. Oh the possibility are endless. 😈)

C'mon let me show you around the academy....

The scene pans out as Ruby drags Jaune by his arm to show him what Beacon has to offer.

[fostercare-expat]

Venting about all the elements of this case that I have no control or responsibility over.

Social worker has already resigned. It’s her first job after university and she lasted less than 11 months. And she even interned for several months in the same Department before she took the job. This job can’t seem to keep the good ones. And she wasn’t even that good. But she was nice and she was competent and responsive at least.

Mom talks crap behind my back one day, and yet she’s texting me the next day to tell me the Older Sister failed all her exams, and the next day that she stole a bike and the next day she sends me screenshots of all the expl. cite videos she has been watching online. I held back from what I really wanted to say, which was “Any child is going to act this way who has experienced seeing domestic violence in the home against her mother with Police involvement, and then seen Mom stay with that man, and then seen that man hit her Younger Brother, and seen that man grab the back of her other Brothers neck and then been taken away from her mother and experienced that her mother hasn’t fought hard to her girls home and certainly has showed even less interest in getting her boys home, yet stays with the boyfriend through it all, and makes Older Daughter be a caregiver for her Little Sister and makes Older Daughter feel like it’s her responsibility to keep the family together.

She had been through a lot of trauma and this is a reflection of that. She isn’t misbehaving. I think she has a deep inner sadness and fear and her behaviour is showing that. But I truely believe that with lots of stability, safety, love, attention, and encouragement, then the rebellious behaviour of stealing and porn will stop. 11 year olds who have stable and loving connections with their caregivers don’t do these sort of things.”

But I won’t say that because she will get upset that I called her a bad mom.

In other news, Older Brother went for a follow up ADHD assessment with the same doctor he saw a year ago. Mom had previously told us he has been diagnosed with ADHD, but we then found no documentation of that. Other Foster Mom brought him for this appointment, and doctor said again she does not see clinical evidence of ADHD and she thinks the challenging parts of his behaviour are probably related to his home life and traumatic experiences. She noted that Mom had a lot of negative things to say about him at the visit last year.

I think there is a part of mom that desperately needs to prove her kids are “bad” not that she is a “bad” mom.

I’m going to give it awhile longer but I might need to make a decision to cut off direct communication with her and just communicate via the social worker to save my own sanity. I’m not good at not taking on everyone’s problems :)

[kurisus]

Noragami reread: Volume 13 & 14 thoughts

With this, I am halfway through the reread.

Thinking about how the entire thing with Yato's father exploded because of one thing he said while in Yomi. Kunimi overheard him saying something about his father, mentioned it to Bishamon and Kazuma, who then try to figure out his location as a way of getting revenge for Ebisu. Kazuma tries to get it out of Yato, but of course he won't talk, so we see this escalate the following volume when he goes after Yukine.

If Yato hadn't mentioned a father in Yomi, Kunimi wouldn't have had any details to give Bishamon and Kazuma, and they probably would have found the storm at the Iki hospital suspicious but not particularly evidence of anything. Tsuguha would still have been struck, but Kazuma wouldn't necessarily know this was all tied to Yato and go after Yukine. I just. Man. The throughline of this one is really solid.

I'm also thinking very hard about Hiyori's worries about her far shore friends giving her a hard time as far as her career is concerned. She can't focus on whether or not she wants to be a doctor because she keeps thinking about these souls, frozen in time, able to learn new skills but never age.

Along with this, trash dad laughs in her face when she talks about not forgetting Yato, because he knew she already has. She's always at risk of becoming too distant from the far shore and forgetting everything, and...again, the story has been about her trying to avoid this. Will she end with her ties cut? I don't know...

I always forget Hiyori had no clue who trash dad was until the upperclassman she's been avoiding for a few months goes "by the way can you stop interfering with my son?" When Yato showed Yukine, she was eavesdropping and couldn't see the screen.

So yeah just imagine this guy you barely know kisses you while you're the most distressed you've ever been, so you run away from him every time you see him for the next few months until finally he reveals he's the dad of one of your best friends. A relatable situation, I'm sure.

Anyway, it makes me sad to know Hiyori picked up on Yato's melancholy during the cherry blossom party and connected it to Sakura when she learned about her. It also makes me sad to know trash dad assumes Yato told her everything, but she just saw his memories--he still doesn't know that she knows. Sakura in general makes me sad. Father manipulated the entire thing of her learning her name, thus forcing Yato to kill her, then scolding him for it. Absolute maniac.

I didn't catch this before, but did Sakura's father have something to do with her death? It's hard to tell because the man's face isn't visible, but the guy carrying her away from her mother wearing the same hat as her dad. Then again, that was the style of hat back then, so it's anyone's guess.

Here are the panels though, for reference.

Yato is thinking of Sakura when he warns Hiyori about his dad, and says "I wouldn't expect you to know this, but my dad is ruthless." But she does know. Banging my fists against the ground.

Hiyori's mom seeming to address her half-ayakashi form, and not her unconscious body, haunts me. She definitely has a sense of her, although I don't think she could quite see her.

The way trash dad fights is super revealing. He summons a masked ayakashi, but before Yato can kill it, he jumps in the way, catching him off guard and forcing him to block with Sekki, thus getting him hit by Chiki.

I am almost positive the "You...stupid!" speech bubble when Yukine gets struck is a little peek of his past, since it doesn't seem like he's talking and none of the others present would say that.

Kazuma and Yukine being relieved they don't have to fight each other hahaha I'm fine (I am not fine)

The entirety of chapter 52 is a doozy, but I'm really honing in on the end--Yato and Ebisu's conversation, and his phone call with Hiyori. So, like:

Yato tells Ebisu his dream, to be together with Hiyori and Yukine. Ebisu chides him with saying gods don't need to have dreams because they exist for the people. He then says Yato shouldn't apologize because since he doesn't feel mad, the old Ebisu wouldn't either. Thus Yato's guilt over letting him die is somewhat assuaged.

But then Ebisu goes on to say people feel just a little safer by knowing gods are there--and repeating that it's not good to have too much interaction between the shores. Death should be feared, he says, or else it would be too easy to cross over. He says this while Yato is thinking of Hiyori begging him to make her his shinki. There's a lot in this volume and the last that directly contradicts the feeling that Hiyori is better off as Yato's shinki, which is part of why I felt so outraged when it seemed like that might be the ending.

Anyway, next Hiyori calls Yato to tell him the hospital is looking up--her brother has returned, her father's friends are recruiting staff, and she herself is going to help out as soon as she can. For the first time since this incident, she's excited for her future. And this is a future that doesn't involve Yato. Remembering Ebisu's advice, he smiles peacefully. This is how things should be, he says. And to drive this point home, he is shown next to the distressed ghost of his kid self, who wanted nothing more than to be seen, worshiped, revered even.

I have a headache and tears in my eyes again. Good lord this chapter is basically the thesis statement of Noragami.

I feel the chapter of Yato saving Masaomi's artist friend, a ghost who loved art but got herself trapped in a painting and was forced to overwork herself, losing all passion, is a pretty on-the-nose allegory for the mangaka lifestyle. It's also interesting to me that less than two years after this, Noragami itself went on hiatus because Adachitoka got injured somehow.

Thinking about how fucked up it is that Kazuma was making small talk with Yato, all while being fully aware he was about to betray his trust by interrogating Yukine. And how, at the end of it, you realize he wouldn't need to teach Yukine spells anymore because he finally overpowered him. But that doesn't stop you from being sad their relationship fell apart.

Kazuma mocks Yukine for giving him too much information, but fails to realize he also gave Yukine the power to defeat him. Because they trusted each other and neither wanted to do this. I'm so sad.

The Discord reactions:

[katsublast]

In Another Life

Chapter One: Yuga Aoyama: Origin

“Mama, Papa, why am I different from everyone else?”

Yuga had come home from school crying again. He was five years old and still didn’t have a quirk. His parents had taken him to the doctor. They did a whole bunch of x-rays and tests. Yuga was honestly a little scared. The doctors were saying some big words to each other in hushed tones. Yuga didn’t know what most of them meant yet, but they sounded serious. Was something wrong with him?

The doctor eventually came back into the exam room, carefully closing the door behind him. The doctor sat down on the stool in front of Yuga and his parents, a solemn expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look like Yuga is going to develop a quirk.” The doctor’s voice was grim but his eyes were kind. Yuga could tell he was genuinely sad to be telling him this. “Based on the x-rays that we did, Yuga only has one joint in his pinky toe. As you know, that usually indicates that he doesn’t have a quirk gene. That’s why we did an additional blood test to be sure, and sure enough, Yuga doesn’t have a quirk gene. I’m sorry, but it appears that your son is Quirkless.”

Yuga felt like a knife had been twisted in his gut. He wasn’t going to be like the other kids. Everyone at school was already making fun of him as it is. It was only going to get worse now. Yuga began to cry.

“That can’t be possible. We’re fourth generation quirk users!” Yuga’s dad shouted, hitting the exam table in frustration. “There has to be some kind of mistake! Run the blood test again! I’m sure Yuga has some kind of quirk gene!”

Yuga’s mom tugged on his dad’s arm. “Enough, Kiyoshi. You’re scaring Yuga.”

Kiyoshi’s eyes softened somewhat as he looked back at Yuga. “I’m sorry, Yuga. I didn’t mean to yell.”

Kiyoshi turned back to the doctor. “Please forgive my outburst. It’s just so hard to believe that our son could be Quirkless. Neither of us have any Quirkless relatives.”

“It’s quite alright, sir.” The doctor said with a smile. “You’d be surprised at the number of people who yell at me every day. I deliver a lot of unfortunate news to people on the regular. Such is the life of a quirk specialist.”

Kiyoshi sighed. “Even so, that was unbecoming of me. I apologize. I don’t wish to set that kind of an example for Yuga.”

“Like I said, it’s alright.” The doctor said, standing up from his stool. “You’ll be happy to note that Yuga is in perfect health otherwise. He’ll be able to live a perfectly normal life. He doesn’t have any dreams of heroics, right? It’s not like he’d need a quirk for any other career, especially not with your connections.”

“Of course Yuga doesn’t want to be a hero,” Yuga’s mother said, letting out an anxious chuckle. “He’s a sensitive boy. Heroics would be too much for him, even with a quirk. I’m just happy to hear that being Quirkless won’t be too hard on him.”

Yuga didn’t talk during the car ride home from the doctor’s office. His mom tried to cheer him up, but all he could think about was the fact that he was going to be different from everyone else. He didn’t want to be different. He just wanted to be normal.

At school, all of the other kids wanted to play Heroes and Villains. It was an excuse to show off their new quirks. Most of the kids had flashy quirks. Some of the students at his school were even kids of Pro Heroes. Yuga felt left out. He was already an outcast, and they didn’t even know he was officially Quirkless yet. They just thought he was a late bloomer.

“Yuga, once you get your quirk, you can play with us!” One of the students said. “For now, you can just keep being our damsel!”

“I’m not going to get a quirk,” Yuga said quietly. “The doctor said that I’m going to be Quirkless.”

“Quirkless?” The student repeated, blinking back at Yuga with a confused expression. “What’s that?”

“It means that he’s going to be lame and boring his whole life,” Another student said. “That’s what my daddy always says. He says that everybody that has weak quirks aren’t any good at anything. They should all be garbage men or something.”

“Garbage men are cool!” Another student retorted. “Yuga isn’t cool enough to be a garbage man. They drive those big trucks and stuff! So cool!”

“Yeah, Yuga’s always been kind of a wimp, so him being Quirkless doesn’t really change anything.” The first student said. “He can keep being the damsel for now.”

“Yeah, I bet it’ll give him practice for real life too!” The second student laughed. “I bet the heroes are going to have to save him a lot! He doesn’t have any powers, and he’s a total wimpy crybaby. Talk about lame!”

“Yeah, Yuga’s never gonna be a hero or a garbage man!” The third student chimed in. “I get to be one of the heroes this time! You guys made me be a villain last time, so it’s my turn to play Hero!”

Yuga came home from school feeling defeated. Is he really just going to be a boring wimpy crybaby for his entire life? Is he going to have to live the rest of his life knowing that he’ll always be different from everyone else?

“How was school today, Yuga?” His mom asked him. The smile on her face was tighter than normal. He could tell that she was putting on an act. She was worried about him.

“It was fine, Mama,” Yuga said with a smile. “There’s no need to worry.”

If he was going to be forced to be different from everyone else, he was going to choose to stand out on purpose. And what other to stand out than choose a path no one could see him taking?

“Mama, Papa, I’m going to be different from everybody else. I’m going to be a hero. The first ever Quirkless one.”

Nine Years Later

Yuga’s father brought him on a business trip to Musutafu. He was still trying to discourage him from becoming a hero. Yuga was well aware that his father didn’t believe it was possible to be a Quirkless hero, but his father at least pretended to support his dream to his face. That doesn’t change the fact that his father keeps bringing him along on all his business trips in hopes that learning the ropes of the family business will change his mind.

Nothing will change Yuga’s mind. He refused to be different from everyone else in such a boring way. No one would ever really respect him no matter what he did. Even with his father’s connections, they couldn’t erase discrimination. Yuga would be an outcast no matter what he did. At least trying to become a hero made him stand out on purpose. He would force people to notice him, no matter what.

If Yuga had been born with a Quirk, he probably wouldn’t even want to become a hero. Though he doubts he would ever have been content working for his father. Yuga never wanted to be that boring.

“You should be paying attention, Yuga.” His father sighed. “I suppose you can take a break. Go buy yourself a snack or something. I have to meet with an investor soon.”

“Yes, Papa.”

Yuga was walking to a nearby convenience store when he heard a loud explosion nearby. Was that a villain attack? His feet seemed to move on their own, turning around to arrive at the scene.

Fire engulfed the shopping district, a sludge monster rampaging in the center of it. Yuga covered his mouth with his hands. It looks like he took a kid hostage. The kid looked to be around Yuga’s age too. Yuga felt for the kid. What should he do? He wanted to be a hero, didn’t he? He was going to stand out if he was just some bystander. He had to act.

Yuga charged at the villain without any sort of plan. In that moment, he realized what an idiot he was. How was he supposed to defeat such a strong villain with no quirk and no support gear?

Right, support gear!

Yuga’s eyes searched the area for something he could use as he ran towards the villain. His eyes landed on a pipe on the ground. One of the sludge villain’s large hands lunged towards Yuga, threatening to grab him.

Yuga slid on the ground, narrowly dodging the villain’s outstretched arm. He managed to grab the pipe on the ground as he rolled out of the way of another of the villain’s arms. Yuga leaped to his feet, thankful to the training he had done with the personal trainer that his parents had hired last year.

Yuga swung the pipe at the villain’s eye, temporarily blinding the sludge monster. The hostage used that moment to get his mouth free from the sludge, taking a much needed breath of fresh air.

“What the hell are you doing?” The hostage yelled at Yuga.

“I’m saving you, obviously!” Yuga shouted indignantly. “You should be honored. You’re being saved by the world’s first Quirkless hero!”

The hostage’s yelling distracted Yuga for long enough for the sludge villain to strike again. Yuga didn’t have enough time to dodge this time. Merde. I’m so dead.

But the finishing blow never came. Yuga slowly looked up to see no other than the number one hero in front of him. “Fear not! Help has arrived! Why? Because I am here!”

“All Might,” Yuga whispered in awe. He wasn’t a Super Fan by any means, but anyone who didn’t find All Might awe-inspiring was either lying or a villain. And Yuga was neither of those things.

All Might punched the villain into the sky, the force from the punch so powerful that it even changed the weather. Yuga couldn’t help but stare up at him in shock.

The heroes chastised Yuga for being reckless, which Yuga could agree with. But he wasn’t going to stand out if he stood by and did nothing. While his actions were reckless, he hasn’t done anything illegal so he was allowed to leave.

Yuga knew that his father would be furious with him for putting himself in danger like that. But even if he got in trouble with his father, he knew that his father couldn’t ignore that he was dazzling out there. He made an impact. He managed to free the hostage, even for a moment. His training had paid off.

Yuga felt a tap on his shoulder. “Young man, can I speak with you for a moment?” He turned around to face a skeletal looking man in a white T-shirt and cargo pants. “I work for All Might. I have a proposition for you.”

From the shadows, green eyes narrowed with concern. A proposition, huh?

[crazyunsexycool]

Hi Val!

I have a question. With Mama Barnes and Bucky about to be married, and with Charlotte’s eagerness to get a sissy, at what age, or if ever, will Henry and Charlotte become aware that the reader is not their biological mother? Will this impact them, knowing that their siblings not only are reader’s actual children but that they were born as a result of their parents’ love and were not experiments (unlike them)?

Uuhh what an amazing question!

So Henry is already aware that Mama Barnes isn’t his biological mom. It doesn’t bother him though because she takes care of him and loves him. It’s not until Mama Barnes has the first biological baby that Henry is going to get jealous. He’ll think that now because there is this other baby he’s going to get replaced. Considering his early childhood though it’s a valid feeling for him. I think in the first few weeks of their sibling being born he’ll be cautious. Henry will see how Mama Barnes and Bucky both give the baby so much attention he’ll be unsure of his place. Really mama Barnes and Bucky have never handled a newborn so they’re just freaking out! When they settle into their routine though and things go back to a new normal. Mama Barnes will sit down with him and calm all his worries and tell him that even though he wasn’t in her belly he’s still her first child and she loves him. Bucky will also have his own conversation with him and remind him how much he’s loved.

Charlotte is a whole different story. Her memory of the beginning of her life is much different. Yes she hates the medbay and the doctors because she remembers being surrounded by them but she spent most of her life in cryo so most of her memories really start at age 3 when she was with Mama Barnes and Bucky. She’s also so innocent that she thinks the way she gets siblings is by her parents going out on missions (that’s how she got Henry). Once she sees Mama Barnes with a belly and she feels the baby move and kick (which she’ll be obsessed with by the way and when she learns the baby can hear her… forget about it) Charlotte will start asking questions like was she in mama’s belly. But it won’t be until she’s older, somewhere around 11 or 12, that she’ll start to look at her siblings and notice the differences in their appearance. She’ll be slightly insecure about if her parents love her as much as they love their biological kids. Those insecurities will get shut down quickly though.

Lottie and Henry will be a little jealous that their siblings didn’t have to go through what they did at the beginning of their lives but overall they know it wasn’t their faults (siblings or themselves). And with how much the younger kiddos love them they know they weren’t just place holders for any “bio kid”.

Also mama Barnes finding out they had these feelings of insecurities that maybe they aren’t wanted or don’t belong will hit her hard. It’s definitely something she’s gone through and she’ll do everything in her power to let them know how much she loves them and that her not having given birth to them changes nothing for her.

On top of that just imagine having to have the talk with Charlotte about the birds and the bees. When reader’s belly is showing and Lottie is feeling the baby move for the first time and she just goes:

“Mama eat the baby?”

And Mama barnes is just like 😳😱🫣 “what?”

“Baby in mama’s belly. Mama eat the baby’s?”

“That’s not how babies end up in a woman’s belly Charlotte.”

“Oh kay. Why is baby in belly? daddy help?”

Meanwhile Steve is sitting there trying not to laugh at mama Barnes face.

[duhragonball]

JoJolion Ch. 89-94

"What are you boys doing up there?"

"We're having a delicious breakfast, mom!"

So where were we? Oh, right, Josuke was on the run from the police, so Rai told Yasuho to head off by herself and link up with them later. I guess Rai and Josuke are sticking together since they'd have a harder time finding one another than Yasuho would with Paisley Park. Somehow, they got Josuke's Lambroghini up in a tree. I'm thinking Soft and Wet could do that, but we don't get much of an explanation. Anyway, Rai bought a paper on his last trip down the tree, and it says that Satoru Akefu is doing some sort of public lecture at the TGU Hospital. They see this as a perfect opportunity to get a look at his face, but as soon as they agree to do it, the Enemy Stand appears in the back seat of the car. It vanishes almost as soon as Josuke sees it, but they soon realize that even thinking about pursuing the Head Doctor will trigger the Stand's ability, which is to inflict misfortunes on the target.

So they get down from the tree lickety split to get clear of the car before something hits it. But then it starts to rain, and even the raindrops hit them hard enough to cause injury. The only shelter available is...

... inside one of the police cars currently searching for them. The boys agree to surrender themselves, but they refuse to step out of the car, which creates a standoff. For some reason, Rai and Josuke have a whole conversation during this, like the cops are just standing there waiting patiently for them to make up their minds.

Rai's a realist, so he's concluded that pursuing Dr. Akefu is a non-starter. His Stand is too strong, and too sensitive to hostile intent. They can't even come up with a plan to go near him without getting attacked from all directions. He doesn't give up, but he's not exactly coming up with any better ideas, either.

But Josuke's too stubborn to quit. He reminds Rai that his name, "Josuke Higashikata", is just a placeholder he was given until he could find out who he used to be. But now he knows he's a mix of Yoshikage Kira and Josefumi Kujo, and he's essentially a whole new person. The police won't find any records of him anywhere. The only thing that gives his life purpose--"proof of existence" as Josuke puts it-- is his quest to save Holly. And so he refuses to stop pursuing Dr. Akefu, regardless of the danger.

Brave words, but he only makes it a few paces out of the squad car before the rain injures him enough to knock him out. So the cops send Josuke to the hospital in an ambulance, while Rai gets taken to the station. On the way, Rai realizes that Josuke's play was actually brilliant. This way, he gets a free ride to the hospital, where Dr. Akefu will be delivering his lecture. Well, it's not that brilliant. They were all together in the hospital when this chase started, remember? And it went so poorly that they wound up in this mess. At best, Josuke's starting over from square one, only he's in worse shape this time around.

As Yasuho tries to track down Josuke and Rai, she gets a visit from Toru, who continues to try to rekindle their relationship. He tells her about something she said once about power lines that inspired him to invent a way to recharge a cell phone without cables. This technology is widely available in 2024, but I think in 2011 it was still in the early stages. Anyway, Toru tried to take the idea to big tech firms, but they dismissed him as too inexperienced and behind the times. The idea had already been developed, and no one really had any confidence in someone his age.

When he sees Yasuho trying to get a lead on Josuke and Rai, Toru offers to show her a photo he once took of Dr. Akefu at the hospital, and Yasuho recognizes the other person in the picture as Mitsuba Higashikata.

This intensifies Yasuho's belief that the Locacaca Branch is at the Higashikata estate. I'm not quite sure how this proves anything that Yasuho didn't already know, but she asks Toru to drive her to the Higashikata mansion right away. It's almost like Toru wanted her to do this... hmmm...

At the Higashikata place, Mitsuba sees how stressed out Tsurugi has been, and she reads about the death of whatsername and Ojiro Sasame, and she starts to put everything together, but she can't quite make sense of it all. I think Mitsuba has most of the pieces, but she'd need someone like Yasuho or Josuke to connect the dots. To be fair, this is all pretty complex, and she's been absent for large swaths of this story. Also, she keeps seeing Dr. Akefu outside the window, and that makes no sense to her at all, since she doesn't know how he fits into any of this.

Finally, she checks on Tsurugi and finds him in this state, and he says it must be the Rock Disease, although it seems to have advanced much more quickly than it did for his father or grandfather. This visual made no sense to me the first time I read this chapter, but now that it's in color I can tell that Tsurugi's body is turning into some sort of half-human/half origami crane. This is probably due to him losing control of his Stand, since Paper Moon King lets him turn other objects into origami, like cell phones and such, but now it's turning him into an origami crane.

This is what Tsurugi was talking about when he told Yasuho about the bunker's purpose way back in his earliest appearances. It was designed to contain the eldest son whenever he succumbed to the Rock Disease. That didn't make sense to me at the time, but we know it causes mental problems and memory loss, and everyone in the family is a Stand User, so yeah, I could see Tsurugi or his ancestors getting potentially dangerous to be around in this condition.

It's also possible that Tsurugi's rapid onset of the disease may also be partly due to the presence of Dr. Akefu. No one in the mansion is pursuing him, but he seems to be having some sort of effect on them anyway. I look at it like a kind of probability warping. The Stand makes accidents more likely and more dangerous, so it's conceivable that it can make Tsurugi's illness progress more quickly than it normally would. Also, his sudden decline has gathered the entire family together in the hallway, so that may also be part of the enemy's plan.

What about Josuke? Well, his dumb plan doesn't work. He wakes up in the hospital and manages to incapacitate the police watching him, but as soon as he tries to get on with his search for the Head Doctor, the calamities start all over again and he falls flat on his face before he can do anything.

But just as he's about to give up hope, who should come to his aid but.... Dr. Holly Joestar-Kira?! But how? Turns out her coma was only a temporary situation. Parts of her body have turned to rock, but they're constantly moving. When they reach her brain, she goes into a coma, but she's been dealing with this for a while, apparently, which is why she wrote a bunch of notes on her body with a felt-tip pen. I once wondered why we never saw any of this before, but in her previous appearances she was always covered head-to-toe, and she had some sort of head scarf over the side of her face.

Okay, so how to sum all this up? Somehow, Holly managed to come out of her coma just in time to find out Josuke was in the hospital, and she threw on a uniform and a pair of sunglasses so she could go to his aid. She only has two minutes before she goes into another coma, but she plans to take him to the secret room where they store Locacaca. Not the plants this time, but the vials of Locacaca 6251, the new pharamceutical version that Dr. Akefu is announcing in his lecture.

Here he is now, explaining the drug and medical implant which he developed to provide this revolutionary treatment. The whole presentation seemed half-baked to me, since this is just a refined version of the Locacaca fruit that the smugglers were selling, and it's a gamble at best. Why would you go to market with something as unpredictable as this?

Then I realizes that Akefu isn't trying to sell this product here. He's just telling people that it exists, and that it's currently still being studied and submitted for approval. Akefu isn't making a sales pitch here, he's giving this talk to attract investors. They get excited about the drug, pour a bunch of cash into the TGU Hospital, and Akefu gets richer and more powerful without putting a drop of Locacaca on the market. It's brilliant, really.

So how does Holly know about this? Well, Dr. Wu said that Holly once did research on Locacaca herself. He called her efforts a "failure", but I think the implication from her story is that she was actually investigating something fishy at the the hospital. By the time she found out anything substantial, she was already beginning to succumb to the effects of her illness, which appears to have been caused by the Locacaca drug. As her health declined, the Four Rock Human Doctors joined the staff, and she never had a chance to tell her son, Yoshikage Kira, what she had discovered. So Kira had to discover the Locacaca Fruit on his own, and he tried to steal a sample, never realizing that it had been the cause of Holly's illness from the beginning.

Holly even knows about Damo's group smuggling the fruit into Japan, but they didn't know about the Four Doctors, apparently. Akefu was using their smuggling ring as a "clinical trial". He was also, most likely, using Holly as a guinea pig too. Josuke asks if they were dosing her with Locacaca, but she never directly answers. Maybe at this point it's obvious.

Wait, so if Holly's been to the Locacaca room before, why didn't Yasuho find her credentials in the security system for the room? That's because Holly has a special key to get in the room, and it's shaped like a motherfuckin' ax! Part 8 Holly is hot as hell.

Holly gives Josuke a dose of the Locacaca 6251 and explains how it works, though Josuke already knows. As far as I can tell this version is just safer to use, as it only forms rocky growths on the skin instead of inside your brain or your uterus or whatever. But even as she warns Josuke not to pursue the Head Doctor, he still feels compelled to go after him. This causes another calamity, and the drug petrifices his mouth and nose before it can heal him. So Holly pours another dose in a hole in the side of his face. This time it works, since she's the one pouring, and she has no intention of chasing the Head Doctor.

I'm wondering if this might have something to do with Holly's illness. Maybe she had tried to use Locacaca 6251 during her conflict with the Four Doctors, and Afeku's power caused it to backfire on her in a way that led to the illness she has now. I'd almost describe her current state as a perpetual equivalent exchange, with parts of her body turning to stone then flesh, then stone again without ever settling on a single configuration.

The last piece of advice she gives Josuke--whom she keeps addressing as Yoshikage because she doesn't know what's happened to him-- is that he can make the Head Doctor pursue him. It won't activate the Stand if Josuke is the one being pursued. As she goes back into a coma, Josuke thanks her for her help and acknowledges her as his mother.

Okay, one question before we move on: How did Holly just happen to wake up just in time to tell Josuke all of this, and how did she even know he was here?

I'm going to chalk all of that up to her unseen Stand. We know Holly has a Stand because she was aware of other Stands in this story. She asked Yoshikage to use Killer Queen to remove a blood clot from Josefumi Kujo, and then when Yasuho visited her in the hospital, Holly noticed Paisley Park before Yasuho had realized it herself. She also knows a lot about Dr. Afeku's ability, although his power seems like the kind of Stand that even non-Stand users could perceive.

So we know Holly has a Stand, but we never learn anything about it. We never see the Stand, nor find out its abilities. That's frustrating, but it also works out very nicely for explaining Holly's odd behavior throughout JoJolion.

For example, she said certain encouraging words to Yasuho back when she was a child. Yoshikage dismissed them as nonsense, but Yasuho recalled them later and realized they were what led her to pull Josuke up from the soil in Chapter 1.

When Yasuho visited Holly later on, Holly seemed to recognize Yasuho as someone who would be a great help to her son. She was right, but how could she have possibly known that?

Holly also had a profound influence on Josefumi Kujo, which is why Kujo was so devoted to Kira's plan to save her. So maybe she said some inspiring words to Josefumi back when she saved him as a child.

I'm just spitballing here, but it feels like Holly contributes more to the plot than she ought to be able to contribute. It's like she somehow intuits all of these fated connections that don't get realized until she's too sick to get involved herself. Maybe her Stand can see the future, or maybe it just recognizes people who are destined to do good later on. Her illness may have compromised its ability, but it still had enough power to lead her to Josuke in this scene. I think she just has some sort of special insight. This might explain some of the markings she put on her body. Her Stand may have helped her know where to put the tick marks on her face.

So Josuke is healed--aside from some rocky growths on his face-- and he follows Yasuho's advice. He calls a courier and sends him off with a package, and then he sits down in the Locacaca room and waits.

... like a BAMF. Look at this cool dude with his adorable li'l sailor outfit. Yasuho's a lucky woman, I tell you what.

Speaking of Yasuho, she arrives near the Higashikata house and sends Paisley Park inside to scout around for the branch. But when she finds Tsurugi and discovers how sick he is, she also finds...

A TRAP! Jobin was expecting her to try something like this, so he grabs the cell phone she was using to contact Tsurugi and drops it in the toilet! Paisley Park can't jump into any other devices to get out, and as the phone gets soaked, Yasuho begins to drown and disintegrate.

Tsurugi begs his dad to spare Yasuho, but Jobin explains his intention to use the new Locacaca to cure Tsurugi and every other generation of their family. I think he plans to cultivate the fruit in secret, and with the Rock Disease out of the picture and his "might makes right" philosophy, Jobin thinks the family will be unstoppable in the future. All he has to do now is keep Tsurugi alive for a few more hours, and give him the fruit when it's ready for harvest.

The thing is, he says that there won't be any further need for "sacrifices", like the way Norisuke's mother died for Norisuke, and Caato killed that bully to save Jobin. Except, yeah, the new Locaca totally works that way. You can only remove the Rock Disease from Tsurugi by sending it into someone else. I don't know why Jobin doesn't seem to understand this, or maybe he does understand, and he's just become so cool with murder that he doesn't see it as a problem anymore.

Mitsuba sees Paisley Park in the toilet, begging for help, and Mitsuba is moved at first, because she still owes Yasuho for saving her from Dr. Wu. But her loyalty to Jobin and her fear of everything going on is stronger, so she shuts the toilet lid, apparently consigning Yasuho to her fate. I'm not sure I understand why Yasuho must die for Jobin's plan to work. Maybe he's just that paranoid about Josuke showing up to screw him over, but right now he doesn't even know where Josuke is.

So Yasuho's stuck out in the yard, drowning. Then she sees the Head Doctor nearby, and the calamity hits her and lops off her arm. This sucks.

Well, it's still better than riding around in Joshuu's pants.

As for Mitsuba, well... I guess it comes down to her being too scared for her family to do the right thing. She tries to use her Stand to force Paisley Park down the drain, but then something goes wrong and her Stand misfires. She recognizes the calamity from before, when she saw the Head Doctor outside, and I think she believed that Jobin's "Kill Yasuho" plan was supposed to resolve that, but no. Jobin doesn't know jack shit about the Head Doctor.

Instead, her force beam shoots the wrong way and blasts a hole in the wall that reveals the New Locacaca fruit that Jobin had been hiding. And it just so happens that the whole family is there to see it. Oops.

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

I wonder if Bradley tried messing with Ophelia again? I bet her kid was not happy seeing a stranger near her.

@demon-blood-youths

"Oh we tried to...but still failed. She's changed a lot too but...she was also one of the hotties taken sadly." he said with arms crossed. Though, at least he got to see her.

"Alright, you should be healed up pretty well. Just be sure you take it slow and be careful." Ophelia smiled to the man as he nods wanting to pay her as thanks but she shook her head.

"Oh no, you don't have to pay for this. Just be careful the next time." she said sweetly.

"Thank you miss....." he said getting up to head out. Ophelia smiled happy to help another while wearing her doctor coat. Seems her husband was doing something in the other room with their daughter Sarah.

"Alright, that should be-"

"Oh gosh...hello hello hello~" she blinks hearing a voice to turn only to jump seeing a male so close to her.

"Oh my....sir, your a bit too close." she said but Bradley pouts to see that it was indeed her. The same cute look and beautiful eyes too.

"Sorry sorry but....I wonder if you remember me. It's me!" he said.

"Uhhhh....who are you?" she asked seeing him sweatdrop.

"Oh my..it's me! The cutie that tried to hit on you....Bradley!" he said.

"....." Hold on, wasn't he Mineta's friend? If that's the case...she right away looked nervous with him being here.

"Okay...so why are you here Bradley? I'm sorta busy right now." she said to see him pout looking at her. Though, she grew up lovely in his eyes which was pretty nice.

"Hmm? Why am I here? Oh yeah! I wanted you to 'heal' me since your a healer. I won't try anything stupid if your worried doll." he said showing off his smile but Ophelia was not phased by it.

"Uh huh...well, if you need treatment I can get my husband to help you." she said.

"Huh?! Your husband! Don't tell me you got married too?!" he said.

"I did...." she said.

"Uggghhh...why!? Why can't I Have the luck here! Well, are you really sure your married-"

"Yes. -_-." she even shows the wedding ring on her ring finger. Bradley blinks to see the ring but looks to her before looking upset.

"Well..I don't believe you so I wanna marry you myself....you don't mind that right?"

"What? I think you got it wrong Bradley. I'm already taken and married. You can't do that and try to win a married woman's heart." she said but he pouts more to look at her.

"Oh come on! It's not that hard. I'm sure that loser of a husband won't do shit to me. Besides, we can make beautiful kids together-"

"I already have my precious little one, Bradley. Now I'm going to ask kindly. Please leave." she said.

"Not till I get married. So it's either you come with me...or I force you to." he said to look at Ophelia. As he was about to brag her, something hits him on the leg to make him look down. He saw a little girl who was trying to 'help' her mother.

"Get away from my mom. You meanie!" Sarah said but Bradley sighed to look at her.

"Look kid. Why don't you buzz off. I'm trying to woo your mom here. Now beat it!" he said but Sarah shook her head hitting his leg with her hands.

"Let mama go! Let my mom go!" she said but Bradly stares now picking up the kid to glare at her.

"I'm not. Now as I said..buzz off!" he said dropping her but he begins carrying Ophelia away. Sarah looks to see but she was crying to see some small particles show.

"I said leave my mommy alone you m..meanie! I said...LET HER GO!" she shouted causing some demonic butterflies to show as they were huge. Bit as a car. Bradley tense from this only to back up.

"Uhhhh, lets not be rash little girl.I was just talking to you-" that's when another hand shows to grip his shoulder showing it was Hex.

"Hex!"

"Daddy!"

".....Ummm hi?" he said scared seeing a male but he had a arrow aimed to his face. He sweatdrops scared. "...."

"Unhand my wife.." he warns as Bradley got scared to quickly go ahead and lets her go but Ophelia pulls Sarah away as Hex was ready to beat his butt.

"Hey hold on a second! I was just playing! Don't please!" he begs only for Hex to drag him away that he quickly tries to run only to get caught. He was scared before Hex takes care of him while beating him up. HIs screams were heard but Ophelia and Sarah sigh to see this.

"Are you okay mom?" she asked seeing Ophelia nod.

"I'm alright honey. Thank you..." she said petting her head while Sarah smiled happy to be there for her. Even now, the two were pretending not to hear Bradley's screams for help since he did deserve it. And for being a pervert too.

[yotepawz]

Trigger warning mentions of car accidents, passive sewerslidal thoughts, negative thinking, mentions of trauma etc.

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This week has been the worst week and it’s only fucking Tuesday. Last night my mom was driving me to our family friends house so I can house sit for them ( for 2 weeks ) and sense we share a car she had to drive me. It was like 11pm and we just got off the freeway and all of a sudden this dude rear ends us, it wasn’t a super hard hit but still hard, next thing this fucker speeds away. Me and my mother are ok but that’s the second car accident I’ve been it and it was just horrible, I felt like I was back in the moment of the first one. I think I took it worse sense I had already been crying because I broken down to my mom about how I feel so lost, I’m suffering from some undiagnosed mental shit and everyone keeps throwing terms at me “ oh your showing signs of bipolar “ or “ you seem to have Borderline “ but no one actually wants to help me figure it out. I hate going to my doctor because I know they will end up leaving me like everyone other goddamn doctor has. I miss appointments or I tell them I’m fine just so they don’t take my medication away cause that’s the only thing keeping me going. I don’t live for myself I live for everyone around me, friend, family, work basically all external factors. I cant keep fucking doing this, I’ve only been living for others and I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve been like this sense 11-12 years old. Will I ever get better ? Will I ever feel human ? Will I ever want to feel full and not empty ? I force people away cause I know they will eventually leave like they always do. I’ve been diagnosed with a “mood disorder” sense 16 but once I turned 18 it’s like all the doctors gave up or just didn’t care enough to continue treating me like how I was before I was 18. I guess they only care when I was a minor. I’m scared to get another therapist cause they will leave like the other 6 fucking therapist did. How am I supposed to trust someone who I know will leave ? I hate having to explain my fucking trauma over and over and over and over again. I hate reliving it , I hate seeing my dad in my mind or the smell of his breath when he would drink or him yelling at my calling me a fat little cunt when I was 14 why do you make me relive it ? Why can’t I just let it go ? Why can’t I just feel ok for once in my fucking pointless life. I’ve done nothing but exist, waking around as a body but that body isn’t me, it’s this stupid mound of flesh that I can’t seem to escape. I don’t and have never felt human, I’ve been degraded my whole upbringing for the smallest things about me from kids at school, to family members, to my own parents, I have never and will never be good enough for anybody, not even myself. I cant think of one good thing about myself never have and never will, I’ve done those stupid exercises in therapy to “ name the things you love about yourself” I lie every time, I don’t think I’m funny, I don’t think I’m nice, I don’t seem myself as caring I feel nothing but the struggle of living. I only wish to be a void, you feel none of these bullshit emotions, you look like nothing, you are nothing but dark emptiness and that’s comforting to me.

[dynamoe]

on AO3 | Pro | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 |Ch 4| Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 10 → Ch 11 ←

But first, a flashback...Rose Whalen's new job requires she uproot the family to Washington, DC. Government jobs don't pay as much but they come with spectacular benefits— she took it specifically for the health plan. Rose Whalen already doesn't trust doctors and getting a hard diagnosis doesn't help. seriously, save your eyes and read it on AO3. It'll look better, too. ✨✨ illustrations and expanded chapter to be added soon ✨✨

The black car with tinted windows showed up in front of their new house exactly at 9 AM.

Li’l Billy watched out the window, seeing their leafy suburban neighborhood go by. The car crossed the Potomac into the District of Columbia proper. His mother noticed him staring. Li’l Billy seemed so far away lately.

“Are you worried, water-baby?”

He kept looking out the window. They passed the Jefferson Memorial, heading into the heart of the city. The Capitol dome rose high on the horizon as they crossed streets named for states and more named for letters of the alphabet.

“Don’t let it eat you up. We can fix any problem if we do our best.”

Intellectually, Li’l Billy didn’t believe it but he wanted to. He slid over to her side of the car and she embraced his head in her arms and rocked him, humming. Intellectually, he knew this was not an actual solution but it did make him feel better. 

The car dropped them off at the front door of a bland government building. A big brutalist rectangle with narrow windows with a sign with a jumble of initials announcing whatever it is that this particular group of pencil-pushers were administrating. They went through the lobby to a waiting elevator, but instead of choosing a floor, his mother hit a series of floor numbers in quick succession and the emergency panel opened. She showed her ID to what he assumed to be a small camera and the elevator lurched to life and started descending.

“Mama took this job for the benefits,” Rose smiled at Li’l Billy to reassure him, “Government jobs don’t pay as much but they have a really good health plan.”

“Is this a hoschpital?” Li’l Billy asked, trying to float an air casual curiosity rather than the sinking feeling of terror he was actually feeling. The elevator seemed to speed up.

“It is a cutting-edge secret medical research facility,” his mother announced cheerfully, “No other little boy in the world gets to be studied and scanned and tested like this. Just you! Because you’re so special!”

Even at seven, he could tell when he was being sold a line, but his boy genius mind was on fire imagining the technology he was about to see and the ten billion questions he was going to assault some poor junior technician with. 

“Mama asked The President if his very best doctors wanted to meet you and he’s letting you visit as a favor to Mama.”

Li'l Billy was not as impressed with the namedrop as his mother had hoped. Despite his intelligence, Li'l Billy was as lukewarm on politics as most of his elementary school age group.

“Will they have Donkey Kong?”

“Video games make morons, Billy,” Mom said automatically, muscle memory taking over, but she relaxed, “I bet they have even better games… and machines. And books that only TOP CLEARANCE AGENTS like your mama can read.”

Li’l Billy straightened up. He wasn’t totally reassured, but he knew this might lead to a real adventure just like Rusty Venture went on in the cartoons. High-tech machines. G-Men. Mad Scientists. He might get to hide in a barrel!

The elevator opened on an unimpressive narrow hallway of checkerboard black-and-white tile, lit with flickering overhead fluorescents. They walked for a while, before reaching a blank door. His mother held up her ID again, not quite sure where to flash it to. There was no obvious camera or scanner, so she just held it in mid air and turned in a couple directions. The door in front of them clicked. She pushed against it and they walked onto a railed walkway over a room that seemed to go on forever.

Li’l Billy had read enough comics and seen enough child-friendly knock-offs of James Bond to recognize what he was looking at. A vast open room bigger than an airplane hanger. Researchers and technicians in clean-room suits with full ventilation masks— henchmen, really— working at huge futuristic machines and banks of computer displays. This sort of place should have been inside a volcano or on the moon, but deep under an unassuming office building was ok camouflage, he conceded. Had his mother taken him to a supervillain hospital? No, of course not. It was the US Government. They weren’t supervillains. They were… the government.

A doctor met them on the walkway and directed them to a staircase to the main testing floor. Although he wore usual doctor garb— lab coat over a suit and tie with a prominent name badge/ID tag— his entire face was concealed behind a ventilator mask with tinted shield.

“Shouldn’t we also be wearing masks,” Billy’s mom asked, “Are we going to be exposed to some… toxic materials or rays?”

“Oh, no. It’s standard issue for full time floor employees primarily for anonymity,” the doctor gestured animatedly to make up for his lack of visible facial expressions, “It’s also an emergency precaution in case of an outbreak but the chances of that happening are negligible.” He shrugged broadly and then led them down a staircase to the main floor.

🩻 🩻 🩻

Li'l Billy disrobed behind a changing room screen, down to his underpants and socks but instead of a paper robe the masked nurse handed him a pair of what looked like swim goggles. With exaggerated mime hand gestures she guided him into a free-standing cement cylinder in the middle of the room. He stepped in and the hatch slammed shut behind him with a pressurized rush of air.

"PREPARE FOR IMMERSION. SUBJECT DON EYE PROTECTION… NOW,” a mechanical voice ordered emotionlessly.  

The lights in the chamber flickered, went dark and then turned red. Ominous. Li'l Billy swallowed hard and braced himself

“SUBJECT GRASP BAR ABOVE HEAD… NOW.”

He pulled the goggles over his eyes and looked up, spotting what looked like a towel rack above his head. He grabbed the bar above him like a trapeze. With a deafening whoosh, the steel grate floor of the chamber fell away, leaving him suspended. The trapeze rotated slowly. He felt like a shawarma on a spit.  Servo-controlled cameras began scanning from all directions, their guiding laser lights flickering all over his skin. X-ray radiation blasted the chamber.

From the outside, his mother watched through the peephole on the lead-lined 6-inch cement wall, “He’s not in any pain, is he?”

“We need a full external and internal 3D scan to have on file so we can reconstruct him inside the computer,” the technician explained without answering her question.

Rose looked back through the peephole. Li'l Billy was rotating faster now. Rotating into a montage...

After the scan were the standard array of tests in quick succession: a treadmill run, an EEG, MRI, a balance test and a full dental check-up.

🩻 🩻 🩻

Li'l Billy was suspended in the tank of turquoise gel with a dozen sensors glued to his head and an oxygen line to his mouth and nose. He dog-paddled furiously against the generated current, only barely managing to stay in place. 

His mother and the head researcher watched from outside the glass.

“What does this test tell you?”

“Nothing really. The tank was free so I figured we might as well put him in it.”

 This particular faceless researcher made less of an effort to mitigate her statements with gestures, making her seem particularly sociopathic. Rose frowned impatiently.

“Well, we’ll get a measure of his heart rate under stress, I guess,” she shrugged as she looked over the stack of printouts on her clipboard.

“I have the results back from the morning tests. Intelligence, exceptional, but you knew that. Congratulations. No brain tumors, cancerous or benign. Good. No evidence of extraterrestrial DNA or latent psychic ability. Sorry about that. Oh, and two cavities. You really have to make sure he’s getting those back teeth when he’s brushing.”

His mother looked worried, “And his brain?”

“We tested the cerebrospinal fluid and other than there being a lot of it, it’s normal. There’s nothing out of the ordinary chemically or hormonally. He just makes too much of it and can’t get rid of it through normal processes,” the technician continued in the same bland, bored tone, “AKA, standard hydrocephalus. Conclusively: CSF is not the cause of his intelligence.”

The technician entered a few keystrokes on a panel in front of them and a 3D hologram of Billy’s head projected in front of them, rotating slowly. The outer layer faded as it span, revealing his bulbous, souffle-like skull. Despite the hot air balloon shape creating a great vault of space, an average sized brain floated in the middle of it, like a single olive in a bathtub-sized Martini.

“Physically, the brain is average. All that space is just fluid and pressure.”

“So, he should just get the shunt surgically implanted,” Rose concluded defeatedly. 

“That’s closing the barn door after the horse bolted. At his age, the skull isn’t malleable anymore, it’s set. He’d get some benefits, I suppose— less intracranial pressure, no seizures, fewer migraines— but the systemic damage isn’t reversible.”

Rose looked stricken. She always assumed doctors were lying to her or underestimating her as ‘just a woman,’ so she never considered just listening to what they told her. 

The hologram isolated the hypothalamus and a cluster of glands in the middle of the brain roughly positioned behind his eyes or bridge of his nose (on his tiny pug face, the distance between them was negligible) and projected them larger for inspection but to Rose it just looked like a cluster of squashed jelly beans.

“Endocrine system, right?” the technician quickly pointed out as if this was something everyone already knew , “Hypothalamus, pituitary…. Further down the throat is the thyroid. It’s shot. All of it. Kaput. Crushed by pressure and the weight of the skull pushing down on it.”

Rose tried to keep composure, “It can’t be repaired or replaced?”

Technician shook her masked face, “It’ll keep crapping out the bare minimum of hormones to keep him alive but he’s done growing.”

Rose swallowed. The technician shook her head.

“Puberty’s a non-starter, natch. The whole system will be completely dead in ten years if not earlier. Then you’ve really got problems.”

A sudden SLAM behind them interrupted the conversation. Bug-eyed but exhausted, Billy hammered at the glass before being pushed back again. His energy was flagging and the current slammed him into the tank wall repeatedly as he struggled to resist it.

“Oh right, the kid’s still in the tank,” the technician noticed, “We should fish him out.”

They sat in a waiting room. Billy wrapped in a towel sucking down a Capri Sun, the ordeal in the tank largely forgotten as he wholly focused on a top secret prototype of a hand-held video game machine the size of cinder block on his lap. His mother picked wads of blue suspension gel out of his still-wet hair.

The senior doctor entered and sat across from them with a folder of all the day’s results. His smoky colored visor obscuring his face made even less sense away from the shop floor and added a sinister tone to his otherwise personable voice.

“I’ve been told you’ve already been briefed on the compromised anatomy. Let’s consider treatments and solutions.”

Rose sat up. This was an attitude she appreciated. Billy sucked the dregs out of the spent Capri Sun pouch without looking up from the bleeping-blooping four-inch screen.

“I want the brain surgery. I want him to have it,” Rose said quickly, anything to alleviate the guilt from resisting the diagnosis for years.

“They explained to you that it wouldn’t correct any of the physical damage—”

“I know, but if it relieves the pressure and keeps him alive.”

“Yes. I suppose it would but there’s an alternative procedure to consider.”

“A different treatment?” Rose reiterated, surprised.

“Not a treatment, per se. It may be the best way forward for him and for us.”

Rose looked at Billy, who looked at no one. He was drooling slightly, his pupils wide and reflecting back the chunky pixels on the game screen.

“He’s not even registering what I’m saying or where he is. Don’t worry,” the doctor said calmly, gesturing to the electronic brick in Billy’s hands. Rose looked under to see a spaghetti-thin tube threaded from the underside of the game machine into his wrist, “That’s an experimental deep suggestion device the psy-op division have knocked up. It pulls total focus from the target while delivering microdoses of dopamine to the bloodstream.”

“You drugged my child?” Rose huffed.

“Micro-doses, Ms. Whalen,” he reassured her, “Less than he’d naturally get from finding a penny on a sidewalk or enjoying a ripe pear. But enough to make the game feel incredibly rewarding and demanding more and more focus. The idea in the field is to steadily increase the dopamine hit until the subject becomes ultra-suggestive to implanted messages but they’ve given him the no-frills basic model. He’s just having fun.”

“I guess after the day he’s had he’s earned it,” Rose conceded reluctantly.

“He’ll be a little down when we unhook him but nothing serious. Like losing a favorite sock,” the doctor gestured vaguely, opening the file of test results, “Your son’s a perfect candidate for exocranial oxotosis.

“What exactly does that entail,” Rose asked tentatively.

“In layman’s terms, surgically extracting the subject’s brain from the compromised skull and putting it in a jar,” the doctor said.

Rose looked confused.

“Your son’s brain is a little squishy but still very high functioning. Without the pressure from the cranial fluid that brain will work even better— no bodily processes to regulate. We could even hook it up to a simulation so he’d never even know anything had changed and he could happily function as a bionetic processing computer for another 50 years. Maybe 100!” 

“I don’t want my son to be a brain in a jar! How can I hug a brain in a jar!?” Rose shouted, horrified. Li'l Billy reached up and tried to put a hand over her mouth without looking up from the game.

“No, mom. Schtop. Too loud,” he mumbled without tearing his eyes from the screen.

“Honestly, the body’s a junker. We couldn’t even salvage the organs for donation because they’re too small.”

“There must be a way to fix him as… as... as a human!” Rose struggled to put her disgust into words.

“Be practical, Ms. Whalen. Even if we artificially compensated for the hormone deficiency with a drip of recovered cadaver growth hormone— which would be cost-prohibitive even for a Special Access Black Budget program like ours— the results would be deeply unsatisfactory,” the faceless doctor tried to win her over with logic, “Best case, after 20 years of daily injections, he ends up a lumpy-headed 5’2 diabetic with violent rage issues and a 50% chance of contracting Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.”

Rose just sputtered in shock.

“Honestly Ms. Whalen, jarifcation really is the only logical, compassionate way to proceed.”

“Could my brain get put into a robot body?” piped up Billy excitedly, “Or a robot dinoschaur body?! With lascher eyes!”

“Hmmm. Not enough dopamine," the doctor jotted a note on his clipboard.

“I beat the game," Billy said proudly, showing his mother the victory screen.

Rose’s jaw dropped as she looked from Billy to the doctor, “We’re leaving.”

She yanked the catheter from Billy’s wrist (“Awwww.”) and threw the video game at the wall with enough forced that it burst apart as they stormed out.

to be continued...

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[harrowharkwife]

so, um.

i've been thinking about "pilgrimage" for a while now. and about how we still haven't reached much of a consensus on what we're expecting from that episode.

pilgrimage. definition: a journey, especially a long and difficult one, made to some sacred or important place, typically as an act of devotion, or in search of deeper meaning, healing, or understanding.

the way this show works, i'm expecting to see all the characters on their own personal pilgrimages. some of them are easier to imagine than others.

maddie and chim taking jee-yun on her first beach trip, maybe. maddie, reconciling and processing both her harrowing, terrifying time in the ocean and her fear of jee near water. chimney, there to support her. both of them anchoring and grounding themselves in each other's presence, in the security of their family, and in the comfort that comes from teaching jee-yun to swim. watching her safely doggy paddle and splash and play in the shallow water, a lifejacket on her shoulders and a smile on her face, with the knowledge that she's safe and happy with both of her parents.

hen, finishing med school. becoming a doctor, finally, after her long journey of stress and studying and sleepless nights. she worked so, so hard to get here, and it was worth it. she doesn't necessarily have to leave her job and her home at the 118- she could be captain there someday, after all! but she's armed with so much more knowledge now, knowledge and training that will help her save even more lives, whether that's in a hospital or out in the field. and that medical license? it will help her advocate for every patient she treats, especially the ones overlooked by the medical system- her mom comes to mind. it forces everyone to take her seriously, to give her the respect she deserves, from the moment she introduces herself to them. and above all else, she will have proven to herself that she can do it. that she can chase each and every one of her dreams, at her pace and on her terms. just like she quit her pharma job, just like she became a firefighter despite eva's lack of support- only now, she has the support and encouragement from all her family and friends.

bobby, taking a trip to minnesota. maybe athena's with him, maybe may and harry. or maybe not. the fire at dispatch brought back a lot of old pain for him, even as saving may helped heal some of his oldest wounds. a karmic balancing of the scales, in a way- we know bobby tends to see things that way. but may isn't brooke. bobby buried a wife, a son, a daughter. and visiting their resting place to pay his respects, to tell them about his sobriety, about his new family, about how he creates families everywhere he goes now, about how much he misses them every day but despite it all he hasn't stopped living- that's a pilgrimage. and one i think he sorely needs to take, in order to heal.

for a while, i thought buck might take a trip back to hershey in this episode. but now i'm not so sure. eddie's already been back to el paso, and aside from that, i wasn't sure what a pilgrimage might look like, for him.

but then it hit me.

buck and eddie, going back to the site of the shooting. together. talking about it, processing it- as frank put it, "maybe you should talk about your pain with someone who shares it. think about your trauma. and then talk to someone who can understand exactly what you've been through."

that would be a pilgrimage, wouldn't it?

there's this scene in survivors, that i don't think we talk about enough- understandably, considering everything else going on in that episode. it's a quiet, blink-and-you'll-miss-it little moment between bobby and athena, that takes place only a handful of scenes after buck hauls eddie into the fire engine and desperately tries to keep him from bleeding out. and it goes like this:

athena: you know, after i was attacked, we never really talked about it.

bobby: well, i always got the sense you didn't want to.

athena: no, i mean... we never talked about what it was like for you.

bobby: there's that thing people say... 'i don't know what i'd do without you'. because losing someone you love is such an alien concept. you don't want to imagine what it's like. and i was sitting in that engine thinking i was listening to you dying. and i didn't need to imagine anything. i knew what my life would feel like without you in it. and it scared me.

����

so, yeah. pilgrimage. i'm a firm believer in buck and eddie having their first kiss in the kitchen- i'm ready to tell you that i'm in love with you, so i'm telling you now, because i need you to know how loved you are, but i also know you need more time, and i will wait right here until you're ready for me too.

but when it comes time for a mutual display of commitment, that we're really doing this, i'm all in if you're all in, for better or for worse moment? i can't think of a better spot than the intersection where everything changed. episode one gave us a call where a man was shot by what looked to be a (large caliber) bullet, but was revealed to be a symbol of gay love and commitment- life saving for one man yet simultaneously life threatening for another. the thing that hurts is sometimes the thing that heals.

remember the funny little thing eddie said to buck in survivors, right before it all went south?

should have gotten here sooner.

pilgrimage: that street corner, no blood in sight. foreheads pressed together, leaning close, shaky hands on each other's faces, teary eyes. a kiss, maybe, or maybe not- the meaning's still the same.

buck, to eddie: nah. we're right on time.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I was reading that story in Eleutherophobia where the Berenson extended family all gather and I'm wondering, do you have any thoughts/headcanons about the Berenson brothers' relationship? No, not Tom and Jake, but the generation before them: Steve, Dan, and George.

I do.  So much.

We don't know a ton about George (Saddler's dad) but the contrast between Dan (Rachel's dad) and Steve (Jake's dad) has always been striking to me.

Steve seems like this incredibly balanced guy: "Always nice. Always gentle. Joking with the kids and reassuring the moms and dads. Staying calm while the littler kids screamed bloody murder and vibrated the very walls" (#31). And it's not just sick kids he's that nice toward; when there's some guy screaming in his face and threatening to hit him over a parking spot, Steve remains level-headed and even comforts the dude when he gets upset over getting attacked by a cockroach (AKA Jake). Sure, Steve can be a clueless at times, tolerating some Weird Shit from Tom especially without showing any sign of worry that his kids are acting so erratic, but he's this responsible and steady dude.

Dan, on the other hand, is... flaky. Rachel says "My dad does these little outings where we all get together every second weekend. Sometimes it's just me and my dad... I don't get to see him as much as I wish I could" because "he cancels sometimes” (#7). We also find out that he talks openly about Rachel being his favorite child, which suggests the reason he doesn't always bring Jordan and Sara on his twice-a-month visits. Dan will buy Rachel room service (#12), but when she calls to say she's "not doing good", Dan responds "Have you talked to your mom? She's pretty good with this kind of stuff" (#32). He'll take her to the circus, but he expects her to cater to his emotional needs ("No, it wasn't pity or guilt... my dad was feeling lonely") without considering hers (#7). He puts the hard conversations on Naomi, letting her be the one to tell their kids about the divorce (#2), give them The Talk (#32), and announce that he's moving away (#7). Frankly, no wonder Naomi dumped him.

Also, look at their jobs. Steve's in a career that requires 12+ years of post-secondary education, and highly active in the lives of his own kids. Dan apparently spent years pursuing a gymnastics career that went nowhere ("almost made the Olympic team," #7) before pivoting to become a "hotshot" reporter, and still can only carve out two afternoons a month for his girls. Reporters are heckin useful to society, but it's also not a career that requires the same selfless consistency of effort as being a pediatrician.

Anyway, my headcanon to explain all that: their parents have traditional ideas about traditional roles. I'm thinking these are upper-class Yugoslavians who immigrated as teens, then were caught up in the assimilationist zeitgeist once in the U.S. The ‘rents emphasize the traditional role for the oldest child, AKA Steve. He's to provide for them in their old age, and therefore they need him to go the doctor-or-lawyer route. Steve is (like Jake) a rule-follower and a people-leader, never rebellious unless he has a good cause. Steve's also a nurturer who loves kids, so he goes along with his parents' plans... until it comes time to choose a specialization, at which point he quietly shunts from surgery into pediatrics. He fails to mention this fact to his parents until it's already been a done deal for a few years and there's nothing they can do about it.

Dan, meanwhile, has Steve and George sheltering him from the slings and arrows of his parents' good intentions. The first two sons turned out okay (I headcanon George being a marketing manager) and so the parental units will let their baby indulge his dreams in a non-lucrative sport for a while. And then pay for him to get a degree in media studies. And then still approve of him, since he brought them grandchildren, even if he supports them less than Steve.

[semisolidmind]

Soo what’s the slasher boys back stories if you don’t mind me asking? Why are they undead?

hoo boy here we go

(warning for abuse, maybe gore? idk)

Peter: we all know peter didn't have the best childhood; absent dad, abusive mom, little shit of a little sister, no friends, being treated as less than human...all that shit combined can turn a kid real bad real quick.

it'd really be no surprise if he snapped, would it?

but his mom was surprised when she found him holding a large knife, standing over his dead sister in a kitchen covered in blood. she screams in anguish, wrapping her hands around the boy's throat, throwing him to the ground and holding him there. she squeezes his throat as hard as she can, all her hate for her son channeled into her iron grip.

"Shoulda' killed you the second you came out of me," she hisses. "Shoulda drowned you as a baby!"

peter feels no remorse when he drives the knife into her stomach. no remorse when he pries her cold, dead hands from his neck and scoots out from under her body. he feels nothing when the neighbours snoop around and find him bloodied, nothing when he's inevitably hauled off to the youth detention center.

peter feels nothing when all those years pass and he becomes less and less human, his mind changing and morphing the longer he's held captive. and while he enjoys tearing out his terrible doctor's neck with his teeth (as retribution for soldering that ghastly, awful mask to his face, retribution for years of injections of that horrible drug that killed his body and remade it), it isn't enough to satiate his rage.

so he kills more and more, ripping and tearing his way through the holding facility until he's outside, running through the woods, and there are sirens blaring in the distance.

DJ: he was alone when it happened. and as much as it hurts, he understands that it's not his father's fault the garage has him working late into the morning, or his grandmother's for being made to stay late and finish someone else's paperwork.

it's not their fault they weren't there for him when he needed them most, and honestly, he's glad they weren't in the crosshairs.

the day started off normally, as it does. DJ went to school, ate lunch with his friends, went to basketball practice, and then to the rec center to train in the ring. all the while knowing that when he got home, noone would be there.

but he knows he has to go home eventually, so when the rec center supervisor tells him it's time for lights out, he packs up his gear and starts the walk back. it's dark out, and the street lamps are flickering and weak on his street.

his dad insists they leave all the lights off in the apartment when they're not there to save energy, but DJ would argue that if at least the kitchen light was on, he would've seen it coming.

he doesn't have time to react before the assailant hits him across the head, and the room goes darker than it already was.

DJ wakes up hours later strapped to a chair in a dingy, industrial room; a warehouse he thinks, pulling at the leather binding him. try as he might to keep a clear head, he's scared. he may fight, he may know how to take down a high school bully, but he's still a teenager. and he knows he won't have much of a chance if these guys have guns.

when his captors show themselves, they don't speak to him. his questions and pleas for freedom are met with silence, and the 3 or 4 people he can make out in the darkness whisper amongst themselves. something about drugs...? DJ can't help them, if that's what they're after; he stays clean for basketball.

but it becomes clear once they pull out the syringe.

dread hits him like a wave as the realization sinks in. these people are going use him as guinea pig to test whatever's in that vial, and there's no telling what it does. DJ struggles, they tear his jacket off his shoulder, he's held down as the needle sinks into his arm-

and DJ swears that this is what hell feels like.

the experience is torture. his whole body feels like it's on fire, every nerve is lit up in pain and overstimulation, he's shaking so much the heavy wooden chair is shaking too, his agonized yelling bounces around the warehouse and rings back in his head...

and something in DJ changes.

he can feel himself dying, he can feel himself getting weaker, he can feel himself living, he can feel the strength he's capable of in his fingertips. his eyes glaze over, he hangs his head, and then he's still. the leader of the shadowy figures move in slowly, likely thinking that he's dead.

DJ breaks the straps on his hands and grabs the man's head in one movement. he snaps his neck in another.

he does the same to the others, catching them easily when they try to run and mangling them beyond recognition. he's faster, stronger now. the blood on his hands doesn't bother him. he understands that the power that he's been given could be a gift, that he could use it to protect others. he understands that it's a curse, that he wants to kill people like the ones that killed him.

he can't go home now. he leaves the warehouse and his home city, utterly changed.

he no longer cares about who he used to be.

[letarasstuff]

Doesn't she love me anymore?

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it as much as I do!

Summary: Spencer's daughter starts to question why her mother left the small family early on

Warnings: Mentions/undertones of bullying, an absent parent and descreptions of the concequences for the child, So. Much. Angsty. Feelings.

Wordcount: 2.5k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________

“Daddy?” Spencer turns around from the frying pan to look at his daughter. Against common belief, he is quite the cook. But this only started when he became a father, after he realized a child won’t be able to live off of a diet consisting of coffee and anxiety, just like he did at the time. “Yes, Sweetheart?”

She looks down to the piece of paper on the kitchen counter in front of her. “Why did Mommy leave us?”

The spatula falls to the ground. It’s a question the father did not expect on a Tuesday morning before school. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? She saw me the first time and didn’t want me anymore. It’s my fault Mommy left us, left you, just like Linda said.” Tears begin to stream down her face.

“No no no”, her father is quick to turn off the heat and walks around the island to hug his daughter. “None of this is your fault. I don’t know what this Linda said, but it is not true. Your mother had her own reasons to stay out of our lives, but it has nothing to do with you.”

This doesn’t calm her down. “What are her reasons? Why did she leave us? Why did leave me?” Frantically she tries to keep her sobs down in order to speak. Spencer never has seen her this upset.

“Sweetheart, are you sure you are in the right state to talk about it now? Why don’t we calm down and get something for breakfast on our way to school and talk about it after I pick you up this afternoon?” He suggests, hoping the thought of a cup of hot chocolate from their favorite bakery would help her.

(Y/N) looks up at him with bloodshot and glassy eyes. Snot runs down from her nose. Spencer is quick to get her a tissue and make her blow into it, cringing internally about all those germs. “Do you promise to tell me more after school?” Big eyes look up at him and the father hurts. It hurts him, because there are so many things in her future that will break her and all that because of her mother. He can’t shield her from all of it, as much as he wants to he isn’t able. Because there always will be people, people like this Linda, who will make the girl conscious of her absent mother.

“I promise”, he tells her and holds his little finger out for her. (Y/N) smiles while linking hers with his, knowing her father will keep this promise just like any other of his. “Good, and now pack up we got a bakery to visit!” Quickly the girl grabs the piece of paper in front of her only to shove it into her backpack.

A little later she sits at her desk and looks at her teacher expectantly, just like her fellow classmates. “Ok children, today we won’t work further on our addition and subtraction worksheets-” The teacher’s sentence is cut short by the eruption of cheerful shouts. Just (Y/N) looks at the multiplication sheet in front of her.

The teacher is quick to quiet the class again. “Instead we will continue our work on the mother’s card you started doing yesterday. Linda was so kind to tell me that you don’t have the chance to finish them at home, because your moms are there. That is why you do it here and your worksheets at home.”

With a frown on her face (Y/N) pulls out the blank piece of paper that made her feel bad ever since her teacher handed it out to her yesterday. While everybody around her chatters happily with other classmates, she just stares at the paper. It is a reminder of something she doesn’t have, something she lacks and will never get: A real mother. A hug from her mother. Not even the motherly reassurance one gets after a nightmare. Nothing.

“Hey orphan. Ya realizing your mom doesn’t love you and that’s why she left you?” Linda, someone (Y/N) later learns to call a Mean Girl, struts up to the younger one’s desk. A sigh leaves her lips before answering. “You do know for an orphan I need to have neither a mommy nor a daddy. And I do for a fact have a dad, a loving one actually.”

A more light than hard slap on the back of her head makes the girl’s body jolt. “I don’t care, but I know that your mom hates you enough just after looking at you to know she doesn’t want anything to do with you.” After that Linda goes back to her table, leaving (Y/N) feeling more miserable than before.

Some starring on the paper later her teacher passes her table. “Is there something you want to talk about, Sweetheart? You seem very sad.” That is an obvious fact. Finally the girl is able to lift her gaze. “Miss Ramirez, I don’t know what to do.” This is probably the first time ever she said this sentence in school.

“Mother’s day is in a few days, Sweetie, and this is why we all make these cards. It’s a thank you to your mom and a way to show her how much you love her. You love your mom, don’t you?” The shake of her head shocks the teacher. Immediately an alarming signal rings through her head, because this is a red flag. “Why? Did she do something?”

“Miss Ramirez, I don’t have a mommy. She- she left Daddy and me.” Tears fill (Y/N)’s eyes. Her teacher is quick to hug and sush her. “Oh Sweetie, this is not a bad thing. I’m sure your mom loves you very much, even if she is not there with you. Do you wanna go out for a bit to calm down?” Meanwhile she connects the obvious signs of a single dad in her mind. Missed parent teacher conferences, unnecessary hovering over the child and the tendency to be categorized as a helicopter parent. Yes, Dr. Reid ticks all of those boxes.

It’s the second time of the day that an adult asked (Y/N) to calm down, and frankly it doesn’t really help with the situation at hand. “Can I do my homework outside? It’s too loud in here”, she asks between sniffles. Both of them know that the class’ volume is not the real reason for the request. “Of course, Sweetheart. If you need something, just come in and ask me. Alright?” (Y/N) nods and gets her multiplication sheet and a pencil before leaving the classroom.

At the end of the school day, Spencer is there to pick up his daughter. For days like these, where are no cases, Hotch gave him a free pass on (Y/N)’s very first day at school to leave the office earlier to be able to pick her up himself. As a father and someone who works the same high demanding job as him, he knows that little things like these are often the most important. And even if there were a case today, Spencer would have stayed back. He promised his daughter the truth and this is what he is going to tell her.

“Hey Dr. Reid. Do you have a moment?” Her teacher greets him at the classroom door. Concerned about his child’s wellbeing he nods and follows her back out of the room. “I gave the children the assignment of creating a card for their mothers, because mother’s day is rolling around. Today (Y/N) told me her mother left you, is that right?” This is the moment Spencer connects the dots. This is the kick off that made her question her mother’s motives about leaving all of the sudden.

The young doctor clears his throat. “Uhm yes, that is right. Actually, I’m going to talk to her about it right after school on her demand.” Miss Ramirez nods with an understanding nod. “Thank you for your honesty, Dr. Reid. I also want to warn you, in two days we will hold a celebration in honor of mother’s day with the kids’ mothers. You are invited as a father, because this is a special situation. But I also give (Y/N) a free pass for this event. It can be very traumatic for her.”

The dad thanks her, but his thoughts are somewhere else. He is mad. He is mad for his daughter, because she will always be the one with a “special situation”. The odd one, because yeah, it isn’t uncommon for fathers to leave (which isn’t anything less sad and traumatic), but an absent mother hits differently.

But Spencer is also hurt. Hurt, because for her young age, there is already the word “traumatic” thrown around. No, it isn’t enough that her dad works a job with the risk of him not coming home from a case again, or being the target of an enemy. No, she also has to go through the experience of missing a parent, never knowing how her life would be if it wasn’t for someone like her mother.

Even with Spencer trying to fill that role, there will be a time where (Y/N) will ask herself all of the “what ifs”. He can’t stop it from happening, and that is his biggest pain right there. Because he can’t shield her from her own thoughts. At the age of six she already is a bright, brilliant and talented mind. Now in a few years or maybe just months, she will start to think about her mother being the root of her pain, bad experiences and hurt. Her thoughts will lead to a downward spiral of how a person can do something like her mother, who acted like that with the knowledge of which consequences will follow. And Spencer can’t stop this from happening.

“Daddy!” A small thud comes from (Y/N) colliding with his leg. Just by the way she squeezes it he knows that she hasn’t had a good day at school. “Hey Baby. Do you want to go to the office for a bit? I think your Auntie Penelope told me something about a new science set she got for you. Or do you want to go straight home?” Spencer asks after lifting her into his arms. Immediately she hides her face into the crook of his neck. “Home”, she murmurs. Home it is then.

“Aaaaaand here comes the little missy’s hot chocolate!” The father says in a funny voice while carefully putting the cup into his daughter’s hands. She sits covered in a blanket on the sofa, looking expectantly at her father.

Spencer sighs at the lack of reaction. “Are you sure you want to hear it?” (Y/N) nods adamantly. “Ok, but I got to go a bit back for this story

“It was about eight years ago, I worked on a case with your Aunties and Uncles back then. I was the one who had to get the last round of coffee for the night at a small 24/7 diner. As I walked in I thought I died, because I was sure an angel stood right in front of me. Well not-” “Is that Mommy?!” (Y/N) cuts him off excitedly. Spencer smiles slightly. “You need to listen to the story!” The girl shifts in her seat. “Right, sorry.”

As I was saying: well in front, because she sat at the bar waiting for her order. I nervously ordered the coffees and had to begin three times, because I kept messing up, mesmerized by her sole atmosphere. As the waiter went to put the coffee pot on, the woman turned towards me and introduced herself. After that she asked me what I was doing late at night in a small town like that and we somehow forgot everything around us by just talking. After that we stayed in touch. Six months later we became a couple, she moved to DC in order for me to still be able to do my job here.

“Two years later your Mom got pregnant with you, and it was quite a surprise to us. But we felt ready at that time and so she moved in with me and we had you. The first few months were great, we couldn’t be happier. BUt then you continuously became ill. At first just a cold, then the pocks and so on. I think it was the third night in a row where you held us up all night. I took a year off from work to care for you with your Mom. I carried you through our apartment the whole night, giving you a bottle, singing, reading, doing anything.

“Then I saw her standing in the doorway. Even though there was baby vomit on her sweatpants and I had never seen her eye bags being this dark, she was the most beautiful woman to me. I approached her with a smile, but her frown only deepened. I thought it was because she worried about you and your health. Instead she told me she can’t do it. She can’t be a mother, that she wasn’t cut for this job.” Her exact words still resonate in Spencer’s ears to this day. He knows exactly what she said, word for word, and they never stopped to sting any less.

“So Mommy left us because I was too much trouble?” (Y/N)’s voice sounds even sadder than before. “No, it never was because of you. She knew exactly what it meant to have a child. Your mother knew what kind of work it takes and what the future brought. You have absolutely nothing to do with it. Some people are just not made to be parents and it’s better when they realize it themselves and leave the situation.”

(Y/N) nods, her mind running wild. All of that makes plenty of sense but at the same time not. “Sweetheart, that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and I will never leave you. You are my everything and I’m so happy to be a dad to such a wonderful little girl like you. I want you to remember that your Mom may not be here with us, but she still loves you. And I’m here for you, for anything you need, want or don’t want. Do you understand me?”

She nods again and curls up into her father’s lap. “Can we watch something?” She asks after a bit of silence, where both of them indulged their own thoughts. Quickly the TV turned on and some kids movie plays. The rest of the day the small family spends all the time cuddled on the couch, because at the moment they need to feel the other there with them.

The next two days Spencer calls (Y/N) in sick at school and himself at work, because together they fly to Vegas. Just because her own mother wasn’t ready for the job, doesn’t mean they can’t appreciate the work her grandmother did as a mother. That and you never know how much time you have left with the people who are dear to you.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[emiewritesthings]

doctor, doctor - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n takes it into her own hands to look after a sick jay 

a/n: i’m not gonna lie i think this is one of my fav things i’ve ever written, i would really appreciate some feedback and p.s the beginning of it is based on that scene from brooklyn 99 :)

masterlist

“okay, it’s 10 o’clock, meaning halstead is officially an hour late to work,” y/n announced as she appeared from the break room with a mug of poorly made coffee. looking around, she had immediately distracted everyone in the room with her playful smile. “okay let’s do this, theories!” she encouraged, taking a sip with excitement, but immediately regretting it as s he spat it back in the mug and abandoned it on adam’s desk as she leant against it.

“uh, he forgot to set his alarm?” antonio suggested, willing to play along with the little game that y/n had created. however clearly his answer didn’t suffice as y/n scrunched up her nose and shook her head in disappointment.

“you are a detective in a unit that just last week rescued 5 people kidnapped and used as chess pieces in a human sized version of the game and the best you could come up with is he forgot to set his alarm? pfft, disappointing, dawson. who’s willing to take this seriously?” she scoffed, brushing his idea off with a simple roll of the eyes as the group laughed at her ridiculousness. 

“maybe he has been murdered by a gang looking for revenge.” adam piped up, earning a sudden and rather forceful slap on the back as y/n cheered. her eyes looking over at antonio as she gestured towards the less experienced detective.

“yes, that’s what i’m talking about. bit dark, ruzek, but better than dawson’s,” y/n hummed, adam clearly pleased with the praise he had received by the pretty detective. “any one else wanna shot?” she offered it out into the room, suddenly the sound of rolling wheels on the chair had everyone turn to face al who was munching on a ham sandwich.

“he walked into the middle of a drug ring, slept with the kingpins daughter and is now having limbs removed, one by the hour.” suddenly an eery silence fell in the bullpen as al suddenly disappeared back to his desk and everyone was left with an image that she was sure was burned on the inside of everyones mind.

“uh, okay, someone might want to arrange a psych check for olinsky asap,” y/n mumbled, pointing in the direction where he had once been and looking around as if checking that she hadn’t been the only one to hear al’s suggestion. “anyways, all of you are wrong. clearly he has joined a motorbike gang and now makes his money on the road striking off names on the government’s hit list.” 

just as the room erupted into discussion about how idiotic this conversation was, as well as their ideas, the sound of footsteps caught y/n’s attention as she arrived at her desk. however as he reached the floor, the reason for his absence was clear.

“woah, you look like death.” adam chuckled, it immediately being silenced as jay sent a deadly glare his way. with his skin paler than normal with undertones of green, a layer of sweat draped over his forehead. jay flashed as smile at y/n as he passed, reaching his desk and collapsing on his chair with a wince. 

as everyone went back to what they were doing, y/n found herself straying her eyes away from her computer screen for longer and longer periods of time until she found herself by his side with a sickly sweet grin, pun intended. 

“i don’t wanna hear it, y/l/n.” jay mumbled, massaging his temples with his fingers hoping it would somehow sooth his pounding skull. whilst usually he had every minute of his day just to hear the woman chat away about whatever crossed her mind, he had found himself in quite the state since last night, leaving him restless and irritable.

“believe it or not, i just wanted to make sure you were alright,” y/n’s entire demeanour crumbled as she melted at the soft features of his face that came with being so vulnerable. but from the look in jay’s eyes, it was clear he didn’t 100% believe her excuse. “and to ask what the hell you think you are doing here? you are sick jay, you need to rest.” 

it was very rare that jay found himself ill. in the years that y/n had been working by the man’s side, she could count on one hand the times she had seen him with so much as a cough. in fact she had called him captain immune system for a period of time when she realised he was pretty much indestructible. y/n couldn’t deny the concern bubbling in her gut seeing him so weak.

“i’m fine,” with her eyes slitted in a look that practically shouted ‘bullshit’, jay continued. “i promise, it’s just a little cold. nothing serious, i think i’ll survive.” he joked dryly, finding it incredibly hard to look away from y/n for her eyes were filled with a warmth that he knew was an expression usually saved for those she cared deeply about. 

“yeah well, you need to take care of yourself, jay, i’m being serious. chicago can cope if you just have one day off, get your energy back.” 

y/n was reminded of the times she had the exact same words spoken to her by the exact person that didn’t seem to want to take them onboard. every time she had so much as a sniffle he would be straight over with some soup that his mother used to swear by and the name of a box set that he would put on for the two of them to watch as he sat stroking her hair in order to try and convince her body to rest. neither of them had anyone else to take care of them, so had taken it upon themselves to be that person for the other. 

“now, i’m gonna go tell voight that i’m taking you home before you infect this whole office.” before he could object, she had already ran (not literally but jay was impressed by her speed walking) to her boss’ office. knocking on the door, with a sweet smile and a sea of words running off her tongue so quickly that voight had to agree just to shut her up, y/n returned by his side. “come on, germ face, your carriage awaits.” 

“you know i love it when you talk dirty to me, y/l/n.” winking at her, y/n giggled as she supported him back down the stairs and out of the station. the two chatted away, y/n explaining how she thought al was secretly a sociopath and jay filing her in on the newest instalment of his apartment block drama until they pulled up in front of jay’s apartment building. 

as they walked through the door, jay’s arm resting around y/n’s shoulders as he struggled to find strength, they managed to reach the sofa before y/n’s body gave up. both of them letting out large breathes before looking at each other and falling into laughter. 

“you hungry, i could try making your mom’s soup?” y/n asked, as she pushed herself up to look down at the man. her hair falling down around her face and tickling jay’s skin. “i’m sure it won’t be as good as her’s but i’m willing to give it a try.” 

the way she was sat with the large window gleaming light behind her, y/n almost looked like an angel. her eyes and smile were wide, with her beauty wrapping its hands around jay’s neck squeezing until his head felt light and he nearly reached up to touch her porcelain skin. but jay had noticed the sensation way before he was blocked up with a cold.

“yeah, uh, that sounds nice.” jay agreed with a minimal amount of sass, but y/n didn’t seem to notice as she moved off the cushions and towards the kitchen. she had pretty much memorised the recipe when jay had finally given it to her on her birthday after offering to pay for it multiple times. whizzing around the kitchen, she was too busy to notice the tired eyes admiring her from afar. 

jay wished his mom was alive to see the woman that she would have loved. all the times he had brought girls back to his family when he was younger didn’t add up to an ounce of the beauty and power that y/n held in her middle finger. the way she bit back at his wit, but also had the ability to spot when he was upset from the other side of the city. she was everything her mother wanted in a daughter in law, everything she wanted for her little boy. 

“okay, give me your honest opinion. i can take it i promise.” y/n sudden appeared with a tray that held a large bowl of the semi-thick orange liquid, a glass of water and a couple pills. approaching jay, she carefully helped him up from where he laid and placed it onto his lap. “actually that was a complete lie, do not tell me the truth. i may just cry.” 

“why thank you, nurse y/l/n.” he teased.

“it’s doctor actually.” she quipped back.

jay chuckled lowly, as he grabbed the spoon and took a large spoonful to his mouth. feeling the slight sting of his tongue at the heat, it was only when the flavours hit that he was suddenly transported to an earlier time in his life. a simpler time. only this time there was y/n by his side. 

“the verdict?” she prompted, taking a seat besides him, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“not sure whether i want to tell you, don’t think you’ll fit in this room if your ego grows any bigger.” y/n grinned as she leaned over to press a kiss against his shoulder. jay closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the ache in his body freeze for a moment as it registered the tingling sensation. “all jokes aside, it really is good.” 

“i’m glad, your mother was a smart woman.” she nodded, leaning forward to turn tv on. jay continued to spoon the soup into his mouth, as y/n chose a show that they both had started together and had refused to watch another minute without the other. y/n leaned back making herself comfortable, having already texted voight telling him that she would most likely need the entire day off, and getting the go ahead, she had no plans other than being by jay’s side for the next however many hours. 

it was sometime in the early evening and the tv continued to emit light, but neither jay nor y/n was paying any attention to the drama. jay, with his head on y/n lap, was leaning into her touch as her short, thin fingers ran through the dark strands that sprouted from his scalp. his body wrapped in a blanket that y/n had grabbed from his room, he felt completely at peace. 

“you know what, i think you are more bearable when you are at death’s door.” y/n joked quietly, as the forest green eyes were exposed back to her own. jay groaned in annoyance, realising that there was no sweet y/n without the sharped tongue y/n. a trait he adored, but at his own expense. 

“and to think i was starting to think you had gone soft on me, y/l/n.” he hummed, wishing he could forever have her giggle on repeat wherever he went, for the sound made goosebumps run down his neck and down his arms, like some kind of magic that only y/n possessed. 

“as much as i love you, i can’t risk my bad ass reputation for you.” 

although jay was sure it was just part of her banter, the moment the ‘i love you’ fell off her tongue, he found himself wide awake, unable to push past the feeling in his gut as it looped over again and again in his mind. y/n could see the conflict in his face, as he glanced up at her with something she had never noticed before. 

“you mean it?” he asked. 

“mean what?” confused, her fingers fell from his hair, making jay regret ever opening his mouth.

“do you really, you know, love me?” he knew he had committed too far to try and retreat. maybe he could blame it on the fact he couldn’t think straight, although she was like a lie detector that wouldn’t let such a bogus excuse pass. y/n blinked down at him, watching as he sat up to look at her with a hunger that needed to be addressed. swallowing the lump in her throat, y/n nodded.

“of course, you are one of my best friends, jay.” it was true, but it wasn’t the full truth, both of them knew that.

“i didn’t realise we had started lying to one another,” jay’s eyes were soft, as he reached to place his hand against her cheek, smiling as she slowly leaned into it. closing her eyes, she tried to find what direction she was looking for, but didn’t dare take the first step. without even thinking, jay jutted forward and captured her lips before they could form a single syllable. 

gently, but passionately, jay and y/n moved their lips against the others. the feeling was ever-growing as the kiss deepened and deepened until they had no choice to pull back, deprived of their ability to breath. as jay’s eyes came back into view, y/n, for the first time in her life, had lost the ability to form a sentence. 

“we just...” she began but it ran off quickly. jay chuckled.

“we did.”

the two sat in silence, examining the other one’s face until y/n found herself moving forward until she was sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist as she pressed her lips against his. just like before their bodies and minds were set ablaze with desire and what had remained unspoken for what felt like forever. jay had nearly completely forgotten about the illness that had put him in the care of the woman that he craved more than anything else the world had to offer. 

as their lips parted ways, suddenly the air had thinned and everything felt... normal. jay’s lips were unable to break out of the large grin mould that y/n had put them in, which was soon mirrored by the young woman. a small giggle escaping her lips.

“if i get whatever it is you have, i expect the exact same treatment.” 

“only for you, doctor y/l/n.”