#that I clearly put very little effort into
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Chapter 2 : A New Reset, An Old Story.
Warning: low qual english + corny/cringey usage of it, lots of cursing, emotional stuff, weird hallucinations, bad editing I guess?, was someone there before?, Can someone pick me up? MC is being weird.
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How do you act when you feel like your day keeps repeating?.
Would you be content? to just go with the flow? to memorize each of your steps, actions or words?
Or, would you go crazy? lose you mind and sanity? to see red dancing on the edge of your eyes if you keep remembering the shit that keeps happening to you?
I would, especially if you went through what I did, all effort I did just gone with one bullet from a gun, from a high fall, a sword, a very bad day, or maybe even a freak accident.
Gripping my seatbelt I wait for Commissioner Gordon to open the car's door and let me out, stepping out of the police car with it's siren and lights off, I stand on the graveled road that leads to the stone steps of the old and dark mansion I knew too well.
A little scribbles pops in my vision roughly crossing the mansion as if it's giving it an evil and snarling look of a giant man eating beast.
The older man gently stir me up to the porch and I watch as he ring the doorbell - The tiny mean words and drawings floating around flew away from the sound - on the side of the giant doors as we wait for anyone to answer.
Tensing when I heard someone's familiar shoes thudding on the otherside of the closed entrance, I step back as I grabbed Gordon's coat and braced myself to put up a new face again.
'By now Alfred should open the doors and be surprised to meet us'. a little tiny voice said by my ear as they hide behind my back- peeking over my shoulder as if they were scared even though their not the one confronting them anyway.
As soon as they're guess was right, I observe the old event unfolding in front of me seeing Gordon hand Alfred a manila folder and show him what I knew was my DNA test and citizen papers and profile inside.
I stare blankly at Alfred who looked at me with slight pity and worry after he heard that Gordon personally escorted me here because I was supposed to be relocated to my biological father custody more than a few months ago.
'Would have prefer to stay there as well but the broody asshole insisted before and got my hopes up just to go back to becoming #1 fucked up dad on my list'
'Yeah! he's such an asshole!' The voice pipe up with a snort and a laugh while leaning on my shoulder.
I look back to Commissioner Gordon one last time as he drove off as I sadly wave goodbye from the door before side eyeing the butler who was already watching me.
"Would you like some tea young master?". He kneels down and hold out a hand to me.
I stare at his face as I see glimpse of scratches around the air and scribbles on his face - a crude lines to circle around his only slightly older look - a wobbly arrow to point at the small cracks of wrinkles on the edge of his eyes and a small older doodle of him from my old memories comparing his age before a glitching of halo and devil horns floated above his head.
Blinking two times suddenly everything turned back to normal as I look at him again properly and I study his white gloved hand before grabbing it in a practiced motion as I keep on with the old scrip that I memorize long ago.
Walking close to him I follow as we pass long dark hallways that was only illuminated the flashing of lightning during the current storm and a few dark oakwood doors each one seemed taller and more menacing than the last before entering a fairly large kitchen that I grew to love and spent most of my time in.
He led me to an kitchen island with a marbled top so shiny I see my face's reflection clearly along with a few stool chair with actual leather covers and I carefully climb before proceeding to watch him prepare me a tea and some of his prized cookies.
While waiting I got lost in my thoughts as I re-assess on what to do in this reset.
'What do I do now? does it even matter?'
'Do we even matter?' the small voice questioned in my ear.
I remember the times I try to use the past knowledge I have to get closer to them but........
'nothing really works for us anyway' again they lean in my shoulder and reply with a whisper.
No matter how hard I try, everything I sacrificed, anything I do nothing happens, sure there were some........... progress but I always get cut off by another death.
'We're just born to do this shit all over again' they spit out now with more anger in their voice with sharp nails digging on my skin.
If nothing else works then.......
Looking down at my bandage hand filled with little doodles from the other children in the orphanage and some cute yet old sticky cartoon bandaids, I relaxed my small hands on the flat marbled surface and breathe out.
I got nothing to lose, 2790 resets made me understand how dumb and starved I am for attention and love.
'So hungry and leaving us Starving-!' They groan and wail in pain before vanishing away.
Snapping my head up I see Alfred gently pushing a nice steaming cup of tea in front of me as well as some cookies on a plate.
I slowly reach out and take the cup before blowing on the warm tea I took a tiny sip and relish the hidden memories that this tea have brought me.
As I stare at my reflection I see it ripples as my hands shake and my body soon followed as I sniffled and hiccup, Alfred the ever gentleman that he is carefully took a hold of the tea cup as I cry finally cry out.
I cry till my eyes are puffy, I cry as let all the pain I have endured for so long, I cry out and childishly try to wipe off my snot as I asked for my mother to come back.
I cry because
I can.
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After finishing my tea and the cookies Alfred asked me if I wanted to wait for 'my father' before I go to my 'new' bedroom.
'They' shook their head and blared a large rough 'X' in the air.
"No,...... it's fine maybe tomorrow". I said looking down before turning up to Alfred and set my plan in motion.
"Mr. Alfred?". I asked as I gently tugged on his slacks making him look down to me.
"Yes young master?". He angles down to me as he put away the dried dishes.
I see 'their' wide and sharky smile behind Alfred's shoulder before going away.
"Can I stay with you?". I asked tightening my hold on him.
'From now on, nothing else matters except you.........If we can't get a family out of this shitty one then We'll make a new one' They murmur down while twirling a small baby hair on my nape.
But first-
We'll have to prepare for a little reunion.
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U I A U I A A U U I I A
Taglist later because I'm now entertaining food coma bleh *dies*
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4only1 · 1 day ago
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Last Christmas - Secret Santa Part 4 (Final Part)
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Featuring: Gun Park, Goo Kim, DG/James Lee, Jibeom + Jihan Kwak & Hudson Ahn Masterlist -----------------------
Gun Park
He called you to his house, well, if you could call it a house. You actually wouldn’t, it’s really more of a shack, but let’s not digress. You were glad you bundled up, the chill of December’s air prickled your skin. Looking over at Gun, you couldn’t figure out how the man was shirtless right now. 
Perhaps it was because he was so focused on the task at hand that he didn’t register the temperature. His hand moved carefully, carving away at the wood he held. The only sound heard was the knife scraping, shaving away to make a shape.
It wasn’t until Gun put the knife down, that you even realized he was done. He took a moment, turning the wooden statue around, scanning for imperfections, before handing it towards you.
You grabbed the stature, following Gun’s lead, and admiring the statue. It took a few seconds, but you noticed how familiar the statue looked. Gun watched as the gears turned in your head, happy that you recognized what he was trying to make.
He carved a little statue of you. 
The silence between you two continued as you admired how good the statue looked. No thanks were needed from you, Gun knew you appreciated it. He could tell by the sparkle in your eyes.
----------------------- Goo Kim
“Hey, HEY BE GENTLE! I got that limited edition and I am letting you hold it, be grateful.” Goo’s voice somehow was more high pitched than usual. He was also being more dramatic than usual.
He hadn’t even let you hold the gift he got you before yelling about how you needed to take care of it. His hands held a precious manga, one that you had mentioned you would like to read. 
It was difficult to find the first volume due to the older age of the series. When you did find the manga, it was quite a hefty price. Lucky you that the man in front of you happens to own the first volume and was graciously gifting it to you. 
If he got over his fit though.
Despite saying he was gifting it to you, he refused to even let it go, holding the manga close to his chest like a child would when asked to share their toy. Goo did act like a child.
“Goo give me the manga, you said it was my gift, stop hogging” You spoke, lunging forward, hands grabbing onto the manga, tugging it towards you.
Despite this, Goo didn’t let go, leading to a tug of war between the two of you for the manga.
“Let go!”
“No it was mine first, I don’t have to give it to you”
“Are you kidding me, I’m telling Gun!”
“TATTLETALE”
“YAAAA”  “YAAA”
Now you both sounded like children.
----------------------- DG/James Lee
DG had thought long and hard about what to give you. Like with everything he did, he planned out every scenario. How would you react to this or would this feel important enough to you?
For a secret santa, he was taking it very seriously. If he were still James Lee, he would have just thrown you a lollipop before walking away. But no, he was no longer that teenager who went about excelling at everything with little effort. He wasn’t about to half ass your gift.
Which brought him to the current dilemma. He had handed you the gift, the one he had spent much thought on, only to be greeted by disapproval on your face.
Disappointment was a better word to describe the emotions you felt when you opened the gift. This man, who was a successful Kpop idol and owned a company, got you an album. His album. His signed album.
He didn’t even write a special message on it, just his stupid signature.
You look at him, lips pressed thin and eyes squinted, shaking your head back and forth. You were clearly disappointed. 
“You know, a signed album only means something if you actually listen to that person’s music. But thanks, I’ll sell this for lots of money.”
Ah, he should have just got you money. That was the obvious choice.
----------------------- Jibeom & Jihan Kwak
Turns out, the Jibeom & Jihan decided it would be best to team up for secret santa. Afterall, what’s better than getting one gift from two people? Probably getting two gifts from two people but let’s not complain. 
It took the two brother’s a lot of thinking to figure out what to get you. They didn’t even ask Jichang for help!
You wish they did.
They stood, side by side in front of you, hiding something behind their back. Each of them had a smile, well, smirk, on their face.
“Close your eyes and hold out your hands” Jihan tells you, so you do.
“This gift is great to take a bath with. The nutrients soak right into your skin.” Jibeom informs you, as your gift is placed in your hands.
You let out a scream as you opened your eyes to see what they had given you.
A snake. A dead snake, but it was still a snake.
You threw your hands up, launching the snake far away, almost prompting Jibeom to chase after it.
“Are you kidding me! What kind of gift is that?” Your yelling caused Jichang to emerge from the nearby building, quickly piecing together what had transpired. 
Soon, the brother’s were on their knees, hands in the air, taking a scolding from Jichang about how terrible of a gift they got you. He made them promise to get you another, better, gift.
You didn’t trust them.
----------------------- Hudson Ahn
“So, what did you get me?” You eagerly ask, clapping your hands together in anticipation.
You didn’t notice the way Hudson swallowed his nerves. His calm demeanor remained on the outside, not showing a hint of worry. He had dragged you along to his master, Taesoo Ma’s, mountain. You assumed he was about to hand you the gift he got. 
A little bird named Jacky told you Hudson pulled your name in the secret santa. You were excited to see what the gift would be. He didn’t appear to bring anything with him, so perhaps it was something small.
Taesoo read Hudson like a book, noting the boy's slight tells that showed he was worried. Hudson took a deep breath before facing you, attempting to pose cool. Ya know, legs spread, elbow on his knee, strong eye contact, nonchalant expression.
“In Ansan, no one comes close to your level, you are unique and exceptional. I am lucky to know you. I gift you 100 points, making you one of Ansan’s finest.” 
Silence is all that followed as you and Taesoo just stared at the boy. The silence lasted a good minute, before you spoke.
“You forgot to get me anything and didn’t remember until I asked you, didn’t you?”
Again silence, until Hudson spoke again.
“Another 100 points”
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As you returned home, your eyes gazed over at the pile of gifts you had received for secret santa. The results were…results. You could have done better, maybe next time you will provide clearer rules and a wishlist so people actually get you something you want.
The real question though, is how did all these people manage to pull your name in secret santa?
You didn’t put it in 26 times for nothing.
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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Welcome to the final part of the secret santa. This was just a fun little series I wanted to do for the holiday's and I am happy with the way it turned out
Fun Facts about the series
I wrote the first three parts before I posted part 1. Part 4 was written while I published each part because I just couldn't figure out Goo or DG.
My favourite part to write was part 2 or 3
Part 4 was originally just going to include just Jihan and not Jibeom, but I decided it made the scenario more fun if I included both.
The very first character's part I wrote was Daniel's and the last was Goo's.
I think the hardest character to write for was DG.
The character I had the most fun writing were Jake, Samuel, Jerry, Gongseob, Jibeom/Jihan & Hudson.
Easiest to write for: Jibeom & Jihan
Hardest to write for: DG (I do not know this man)
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ironlamb · 15 hours ago
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" IT DOES NOT PLEASE ME . it is simply a symptom of having a well functioning mind ." cersha snaps with a roll of her eyes , huffing in a way that makes her expression twist yet again . " not that you would know , clearly ." the words are bitten out as she brings her goblet right back to her lips , taking another healthy sip before she's narrowing her eyes sharply as he continues . the glare that is levelled his way is sharp enough to cut even if her expression barely twitches outside of it . when she was younger she would often imagine the power she would wield if her look alone could kill . ironically enough , that original thought as well was in relation to her brother . apparently some things never change . " i will have you know , they are already thoroughly impressed , varyn . not all of us have to rid ourself of our clothes and dignity to gain admiration ." perhaps the iciness of cersha's tone is only proving his point , but she sees little reason to change it . it's with a grand roll of her eyes that she scoffs . " and am i to believe a marriage with you will be joyful ? you leave far more pain in your wake than i ever have . at least my use of the pieces around me is for a goal rather than for sport ." some part of cersha is aware that she has gone on the attack instinctively ; a gut reaction in defense , born of a desire to protect one's soft underbelly from something a bit too sharp . and yet she can do very little to help it . what else is a lion to do but bite and claw and roar when cornered ? it is with a measured movement that cersha begins to top up her goblet , her hand steady even as clenches her teeth just hard enough to ache . the sigh that flows out of her nostrils is slow .
" i do not need you to lecture me , varyn . i am more than capable of making myself lovable ." the words are purposefully even as cersha moves to place down the bottle , as she unclenches her jaw with a conscious movement . it takes just as much effort to unclench her fingers from the neck of that bottle instead of hitting her brother over the head with it . the option is perhaps especially tempting with the lack of witnesses . " why do you think i am gathering information so diligently ? i do not seek to blackmail them for the entirety of our marriage ." cersha huffs as she looks into the liquid in her cup, staring at her distorted , reddish reflection within it even as she says , " once i know what she wants , i can be that and the love will come with it ." it is only then that cersha sighs and says , " besides , i have already begun and she seems more than pleased with who she believes her betrothed to be ." she moves to toss a curl over her shoulder primly as she says , " this is not something new to me ." love was a strange concept . on some level cersha would like to think she understood it . people loved what was presented to them . what they could see . what they could hear . if those cards were just right then adoration would follow . cersha has experienced it . from gathering the hearts of the lords and ladies that her parents entertained as a child , to collecting the affection of eligible lords and ladies in her adulthood , cersha understood love , and lust , and infatuation or what have you . it was something that could be trapped if you put out just the right bait . and one could create that bait with the right information . cersha knows that she was the bait . that she could mold herself into it . that she could become it . but she also knows that it was that bait that people found themself tempted by . that it was that bait that they'd come to love . that it wasn't her , truly . she could make herself into something lovable but was she lovable ? it wasn't particularly something she found need to worry over . after all , if you could trick people into loving you did it truly matter ? telessa loved her somehow , of that she was quite sure . varyn loved her , in his own strange way . and cedric , surely . perhaps her father as well , on good days . on cersha's good days , of course. her mother must have loved her at some point , surely . perhaps she may not have liked her , but she must have loved her for at least some time . maybe for that first moon . or for that first instant , even . perhaps she was born with claws and fangs , but there were some who loved her anyways .
but cersha knows to be loved is one thing , and to love is entirely another . and yet wondering over her capability to love would take up mental energy that varyn seemed intent to hog to himself at the moment . for just an instant cersha can't help but be grateful to him for it . at his question , she doesn't hesitate : " i want to rule , varyn ." cersha says with the same confidence that she perhaps came out of the womb with , her brows arching her brother's way as if the very question was somehow an insult to her resolve . " i was born for it . i would excel at it . and for that i should have a right to it ." it is with that that cersha shrugs , blunt as she says , " and the seven kingdoms would be better for it if i was in such a position ." it's all she has ever wanted . perhaps that in itself is strange , but it's the truth . cersha could not explain the feeling within her . the innate drive towards this end , the burning desire towards her goal . all she knew that it was there : burning endlessly . it had yet to so much as flicker since she realized its existence and now here she is . so close to it . so very , very close to it . she knows the flames won't burn her once she's engulfed in them . perhaps that is the immunity that uniting with a dragon will afford her . cersha arches a brow at varyn's gesture , studying him for a moment before she's moving to sit down with a sigh that is accompanied by a roll of her eyes . it is at that point that she settles in to listen , doing not much more than shrugging at the mentioning of catching her spiders ( after all , she had sent much more than two ) and merely blinking his way for the rest of it . cersha would like to say that she is dreadfully surprised . she would like to say that she is shocked . and yet at the end of his tale she can only sigh deeply again . " you are an imbecile , do you know that ?" cersha's expression is twisted with something deeply unimpressed , and despite knowing that getting drunk at these festivities is the very last thing she wants to do she can't help but take another healthy gulp from her goblet . " gods ." cersha's expression twists in something resembling annoyance as she pulls her goblet from her lips again . " i knew you would father a thousand bastards , so that is of no surprise to me , but a lady , varyn ? truly ?"
cersha could keep the judgement out of her voice if she tried , but thankfully there is little need to . the only one here to hear her scolding is varyn , who is apparently welcoming it . so cersha doesn't dull the cut of her tongue even slightly in response . " can you not just go to a brothel like any other depraved man !" she throws her hands up in frustration . " or god , exercise some semblance of self control for once in your life ." cersha takes a long look at varyn before clucking her tongue , her hand moving to pinch the bridge of her nose tightly as she takes a measured breath . " not to say she is innocent either . you both are at fault considering that the birth of a bastard would be the natural result of your joint carelessness ." a scoff as she shakes her head and gestures to him frustratedly . " and you lying truly helped nothing ! we should have been prepared for this and gotten ahead of it however instead you kept this to yourself ! and all you've done to rectify your mistake is to haphazardly slap a bandage on it ! " her lips twist then , her expression almost thoughtful before she glances to her brother . she looks at him a long moment then , expression sour and eyes tight before she sighs and says , " does she still love you ?" cersha can't help but scoff as varyn directs the attention back to her , brows arching . " oh no , you are not getting out of this that easily ." she points a finger to him then , brow arching . " do not detract from the point at hand . you will overshadow my engagement with your nonsense at this rate !" she snaps frustratedly . however it is with a slight huff that she waves a hand and adds , " but if you must know she trusts me explicitly and wishes to treat me as her equal ." cersha's brows raise pointedly with the words as she moves to take another sip from her goblet . " which is fundamentally a poor course to take all things considered but again ," a gesture to all of him as her nose wrinkles in frustration . " your mess has taken momentary priority ."
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"Alright Cersha, if it pleases you to get worked up over every minor inconvenience I shall not stand in your way." she was exhausting, truly. Her vigilance, and constant need to stay ahead of everything and everyone was tiresome to observe -- he could only imagine how much more tiresome it must've been to live. But at this point, Varyn supposed if his dear sister did not have anything to worry about, she would simply explode. Or implode. Collapse, cease to exist. "You resemble our lord father more every day. Perhaps if you were to truly impress your marriage prospect you ought to take a step back and assume some favourable traits of our late mother. You are far too cold and much too sharp -- I cannot imagine being stuck in a marriage with you and hoping it would bring up any sort of happiness."
Varyn wasn't trying to be cruel. In fact, he was trying to be helpful. With wine between his lips, smoothing out his throat, he reminded himself no one else would dare voice these opinions to her face.
"You are smarter than I, dear sister, we are both aware -- but I feel I must remind you that no matter how logical and favourable the arrangement of marriage might be, those who have souls -- and 'm speaking of Vaelora here, not you -- long for some sort of love and connection and intimacy, on a deeper, perhaps even a subconscious level." he is being brutally honest, the kind of honesty he only ever afforded his sister. Showing a side of himself, only she ever got to see. "You may know everything there is to know of Vaelora, and say all the right words. You may present yourself, our family, our gold, our usefulness to the crown in the most perfectly packaged manner. But, dear sister -- can you make her love you? Because that --" he taps the table beside him, eyes focused on hers. "That is where true power lies. If you can get them to love you, you can get them to do anything. To overlook anything."
It was a skill, like any other. Varyn knew a thing or two when it came to love. He knew how to inspire it, how to use his charisma, his charms, his words to get strings of other peoples hearts to attach to his own. He knew how to look a woman in the eye, and tell her whatever it is she wanted to hear. And he knew, above all else, how to stay detached. For love was only there for the taking. Giving it -- it was too great a risk. The kind of risk he was not willing to take. He would not fall prey to.
"I've never asked. But what is it you want Cer? Power, I understand. But that cannot be all, surely?"
When the topic switched back to him, he finished his cup and gestured to the chair beside him. She would need to be sat down for this. He poured himself another, and then let a sigh of anxiety he'd carried on for most of the day, lift off his shoulder. He slouched, almost, a rare sight to behold and with his thumb and index finger he quickly pinched the top of his nose before falling into his story.
"You have heard of my exploits in Dorne. I'm sure. Twice I caught your very own spiders in my way, ever watchful." he did not care that his sister had her eyes on him, no matter where he went. He always assumed it brought her ease, knowing his movements. But she did not know...everything. "When I was training, I became acquainted with one Lady Dayne. A southern beauty, just as I like them. Long dark hair, violet eyes, olive skin. I must say, she left me rather breathless." his brows raise and he will speed up the story knowing his sister will hold no patience for poetics. "She did not fall for my charms instantly. Suppose you could say I wore her down. One thing...then another and...well, we are both adults, you can assume how this story should end."
He gives up the cup now, and takes a hold of the bottle instead. "I was growing rather fond of her, so I decided to leave Dorne. I'm sure father would have orchestrated a marriage alliance instantly should he gotten a whiff of our affair, so I did not return home yet." there's a pause. "Then a raven came in the night. Informing me of Lady Daynes unfortunate new...condition." Cersha would understand. "I burnt it."
Leaning forward in the chair, he feels lighter after his admittance. "I put it out of my mind. I am not the first, nor the last lord to sire a noble bastard." it would have been nice if it all just ended there. "All that is to say, Lady Dayne is now here. As is the babe. And I have barely managed to avoid a scene in the gardens by lying to her face I held no knowledge of her...predicament. Needless to say she's bound to find the truth eventually, but until then I should hope to find a way to resolve this situation without sullying our precious name." He had purposefully avoided mentioning the inexplicable bond and connection he felt towards the child. "There. Feel free to scold me now, I should welcome it for once."
Finally, he will relax and switch back to Cershas pressing matter. "What did she say during your meeting? Must have been something to have you feeling so...out of depth?"
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wigglebox · 2 years ago
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Plants 🪴💖 [§]
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seokwoosmole · 2 months ago
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*Sign of affection minor spoilers*
Yuki’s family not communicating with her in (or even seeming to know much) sign language rubs me so wrongly. I don’t know a whole lot about the Deaf community, but I’m taking an ASL class right now and I’ve seen Deaf characters portrayed in media, but I don’t know any Deaf people that use ASL that are close to me, so maybe this isn’t an educated opinion. But I would think that if you were a parent and had a Deaf child since BIRTH and they were 19 years old, sometime in those 19 years, you would have learned sign language - even a little???? Like if Yuki was born hearing and became deaf later in life, I could maybe see how her parents/brother haven’t yet mastered sign language, but that’s not the case!! Yuki was born Deaf and her whole family is perfectly fine with her relying on lip reading and they don’t even seem like they’re actively practicing or learning for that matter😭That scene in the manga when Yuki helps clean for her older brother and she says he only knows ONE sign. And when Itsuomi meets her parents they are genuinely shocked that the two of them are holding sign language conversations despite him only learning recently and the two of them not dating very long. I love Itsuomi and I do think he is genuinely a really great guy, but I also think other characters make it really easy for him to look like such a green flag in comparison😭 Like. This man didn’t know a single sign before meeting Yuki and he’s known her for a few MONTHS and he’s made such an effort to learn for her. And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t an Itsuomi praise post (again I love him, but imo, if you have a significant other who’s fluent in and predominantly uses a language that’s not one you know, it’s the bare minimum to make an effort to learn it) more so this post is just me being baffled at the people in Yuki’s life😭 Like. THESE PEOPLE LOVE HER! Yuki does not in the slightest have an unloving or unkind family. So the fact that they canonically don’t use sign language with her and rely on her to lip read and write/text is just wild to me.
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rqg179 · 9 months ago
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if you're producing a show that has a specific subject or theme that might involve a lot of specific vocab, such as a sci fi or fantasy (or, say, dnd, which is what i'm annoyed about specifically), whoever is writing your captions needs to know that vocabulary! your captions need to be accurate even if, or perhaps especially if, the language is a little more complex or specific! this is basic accessibility!
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shayberri789 · 3 months ago
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I'm a little hurt by some of my irl friends and have two courses of actions, but which will both have similar outcomes
Basically, I have three creative irl friends. Every time they share their writings with me (be it fics, poems, stories or creative non fic), I ALWAYS read it as soon as I'm able and give feedback + healthy amount of gushing.
But whenever I write something I am proud of and I share it with them, none of them acknowledge it. Its like they don't see the link you know. And its fine because I just say "I wrote a thing" and give a link. I'm explicitly asking for feedback or validation. I can't be upset because they're not mind readers
But sometimes I explicitly DO ask them "hey did you see what I wrote?" "Hey, what do you think of this?" And i get half assed responses at best. "Oh its good" "uh ill read it when I get home *never hears about it again*". And that's a little more frustrating.
Earlier today I needed to put together a portfolio, and asked my two best friends to please read through it, because it was important and I needed their input on (1) thing, and I needed it *before the end of the day*. It was three pages of easy reading. Its not like I was asking for concrit or editing or something time consuming.
One of them skimmed it and gave me feedback. The other one is adhd and forgot. Said she'd read it later when I reminded her. When I reminded her again, she said she forgot and had made plans, can she do it in the morning?
And normally I'd say that's fine! Because I don't expect immediacy from my friends online, esp for favours. But I had a deadline, and this was the third time this particular friend has done this. There's only so many times I want to poke someone to read my shit before I start feeling like I'm bragging/attention seeker/being entitled and demanding. So I just went and asked someone else.
I know I'm valid to feel hurt about this, and frustrated. I also know that my friends don't mean to make me feel like this, or forget. I know they want to support me. But I'm also tired of getting burned so I'm just going to fucking stop trying to share my writing with them because instead of validation I'm getting pain.
My two options are either a) telling my friends that actually their silence and forgetfulness hurt me or b) just lettint it go
Either way, I'm not reaching out again. B) seems like the option less likely to hurt my friends/make them feel bad, so I'm leaning to that. If the roles were reversed, I'd rather option A), because when people tell me these things I do genuinely try to do better in the future, and I know my friends would feel the same. But I've also lost faith in their ability to do so in this area. Idk what I should do
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globodamorte · 13 days ago
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had the last ceramics class w the girls I've been teaching and tbh I'm a little upset that one of them simply doesn't... seem to put an effort she clearly has fun and enjoys it but she never seems to make an effort to finish what she starts making... and when I return the fired/glazed pieces to her she's disappointed and frustrated bc it looks "bad"... when it's Her work. you want it to look better you gotta Make it look better!! and I'll try to encourage her like hey don't you wanna smooth it out? this part here is falling you could try to make it stronger and she's just nahhh I wanna do something else which is FINE but I think it's funny that she's always upset when she receives her own work back
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left is one of the other girls' and right is hers. like idk. as much as it looks like she looks like she's having fun and she says she is... she doesn't really take her time w it you know?? idk
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jaywhere · 4 months ago
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death note is wild bc homeboys will be like "this manga is so deep, the author thought about everything SO MUCH, the story is EXCELLENTLY constructed, i have never thought so deeply about the nature of good and evil" and then u read it and like 95% of the time it's full police procedural
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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I feel like I'll never be a good artist because of my aphantasia
#its like it goes both ways... i love art but its so difficult because i cant make it spontaneously but making art helps me visualize#the things that i want to see#its the only way for me to see my alters or my inner world#and its the only way i can remember my friends faces even a little (i also have very poor facial recognition)#its my only way to imagine... my only way to daydream#my only way to see things differently#to see myself differently#and it hurts that its so limited#im scared to complain because im afraid people will tell me im just not cut out for art#or that i clearly dont really have it because i can draw#but i dont think they know just how much effort i put into everything. just how much it means to me#i feel like a terrible person and a terrible artist because i have to rely on reference images and tracing so heavily#i feel like everyone will hate me if they knew how much i rely on other peoples art to improve...#i dont want to do anything wrong i just want to maks thinge#i just want to make things#Its the reason i stopped showing people my art and the reason i dont think ill ever be able to profit off my art#even though its my greatest skill (still not saying much clearly)#im scared ill show someone something im proud of and theyll accuse me#id rather just keep it to myself...#do you know how hard it is to be proud of something or love something that youre ashamed to show anyone else?#idk this probably sounds incredibly stupud#im sorry if any of you actually read this
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laurasimonsdaughter · 1 year ago
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Picture this: Dragons using their caves to age cheese. Dragon Cheesemakers!!
The dragon coiled his enormous body, completely blocking the entrance of the tunnel that lead to the caves.
“No,” he snarled, smoke pluming from his nose.
The cheesemonger pinched the bridge of her own nose. “Look, I explained this to you at the start,” she tried once more. “I make cheese.”
“Yes,” the agreed, nodding his scaly head.
“Then I bring the cheese here.”
“Yes.”
“Then you store all the cheese in your cave, keeping it at the perfect temperature and humidity.”
“Yes.” He sounded particularly proud of this part.
“And then when the cheese has ripened,” she concluded. “I come to pick the cheese up again.”
A thunderous scowl clouded his maw. “No.”
“But that’s how it works!” she cried in exasperation. “I make the cheese, you store the cheese, I sell the cheese, I make more cheese!” She peered up at him. “You do realise I cannot bring you new cheese until I have sold this cheese.”
The dragon considered this for a moment. “Ah, but what if—” he began. “What if you go and make more cheese. And bring me the cheese. And I put it in my cave, with the rest of the hoard. And then I keep it there forever.”
“No,” she said flatly.
It was remarkable how much a dragon could look like it had just swallowed a lemon.
“You can’t keep cheese forever,” she insisted. “It will spoil and go bad!”
“You said it would get better and better!” the dragon roared indignantly. “And I take good care of them! With the air flow and the humidity and the temperature!”
“And that is great,” she said, trying to smile through her frustration. “But when a cheese is ripe, it’s ripe! Then you should not be kept anymore, it should be eaten.”
The dragon scraped it’s formidable claws against the stony ground and sulked.
“Look…” The cheese mongering business did not tend to require a lot of sweet-talking, but she was making an effort. “I’m sure the cheeses that aged in your cave are the best cheeses people have ever tasted. When they find out how delicious they are they will want us to make loads more. Maybe several caves’ worth!”
The reptilian eyes stared at her with disgruntled, reluctant interest. “Several caves?”
“If we’re lucky! And I could make so much cheese that I could bring you new cheese as soon as I pick up the aged cheese. Your cave would never even be empty!”
This seemed to strike a chord. The dragon lifted his head a little.
“And that would really be much better for the rest of your hoard,” she continued with fresh inspiration. “Because if you leave cheese too long, it might go bad and spoil the cheeses next to it too!”
A nervous ripple went through the beast’s scaly body, but he clearly was not convinced just yet. “But what sort of a hoard is it if I have to give it away,” he complained.
“Well! Cheese is not just any old hoard! It’s a developing creation! And you will have a hoard that is constantly developing too. Constantly changing, but, if we do this right, never shrinking.”
The dragon looked at her solemnly, wavering with uncertainty. Perhaps she shouldn’t hold it against the poor thing, it must be a difficult concept to wrap his head around.
“And I will tell you what,” she said encouragingly. “If business is good, I can start investing in some really good crumbly cheeses. You can keep those in your cave for five whole years!”
“That is quite a long time for humans, is it not?” he said, sounding a little more cheerful.
“Very long. Especially when it comes to cheese. Cheeses that have been aged that long are very expensive.”
In retrospect, she should perhaps have led with that. Gourmand or not, a dragon was still a dragon after all. A glittering, toothy grin appeared on her recalcitrant business partner’s shout and he moved just enough for her to move past him into the mountain.
“Tell me more about this expensive cheese that crumbles.”
She hid a smirk. “If you help me carry some of the current ones out, it would be my pleasure.”
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troublesomesnitch · 6 months ago
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Meeting Vhagar - Drabble
Aemond x Wife!Reader
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Much to your dismay, Prince Aemond insists on bringing your little son to Vhagar. Set sometime during the Dance.
Contents: Just a little practice thing... Dad!Aemond, Targaryen parenting, subtle fluff. Little bit of subtle angst too. No filth this time..
Words: 3000, and very sloppily proof read.
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The carriage can only take you so far as to the Iron Gate. 
Beyond its massive doors, the Rosby Road winds North, poorly maintained and full of potholes, as it is the shortest of the main roads, and thus the least important. It is not as busy as others, and the gate is not guarded as well - clearly, as the men who should be protecting it are presently engaged in a game of cards, laid out on top of a large, flat rock.
That is where the driver will wait, but it is not your destination. 
There is another little trail. One that runs in the opposite direction, scarcely used and partially hidden, visible only to those who know it. No horse or wagon can make the journey, and there is no option but to walk - first along a narrow, trodden path, and then further still, down treacherous steps, carved into the very rock the city rests upon. Past the watchtower, and across the Northern beach, to the vast caves of Maegor the Cruel, where Vhagar has made her nest.
You walk alone, just the two of you. The prince in his coat and boots, and yourself in attire much less suited for the occasion. Fine shoes, fine skirts, and with your little son cradled in your arms. 
The gentle rocking of the carriage has lulled him to sleep. Four months old, he is, and a source of such joy that your poor heart can scarcely contain it. From his first high-pitched cry when you brought him into the world - oh, the pains of labour were all but forgotten, as was the threat of the raging war. And when the prince came to see his son, you could hardly even bear to let him hold him. 
He wanted to bring the boy much sooner, but both you and the dowager queen staunchly put your foot down against that. Children should not be brought outside the home until they have at least lived through the first perilous weeks, and possibly even their first fever. And even then, most would argue, they have no business being around ferocious animals. 
“I don’t like it,” you say, for the umpteenth time, taking the hand offered to you by the prince to help you cross a treacherous stretch. “It is mad, bringing an infant to such a beast - ” 
“Vhagar should know him,” he says, steadfast and determined. As he has done whenever you voiced your concern. 
It does nothing at all to calm your nerves. But it is his most compelling argument, and the only reason you have allowed this lunacy in the first place. So the dragon would recognise the boy as his, and as one of her own. So she would know to protect him, if - something should happen. 
You make it halfway across the pebbled beach before the prince pauses. And you do too, lifting your gaze to follow his line of sight; see what he is looking at. 
An enormous, greyish mass, some yards away, that at first you thought was a moss-grown rock, or years of washed up seaweed. But the mass makes a rumbling noise and begins to shift and lift itself, slowly and carefully, as though with much effort. Part of it becomes a leg, another part unfurls into a great wing, and the rock nearest to you becomes a head, with a mouth full of jagged teeth, and two eyes opening slowly. Amber in colour, and with slitted pupils staring straight at you. 
“She can sense me,” the prince declares, with no small amount of pride, lifting his chin and straightening his back. 
You, however, are paralysed, utterly shocked by her vastness. You have never seen Vhagar this close before, and though you knew of her impressive size, it is one thing to see her soaring across the sky, and quite another to be right next to her, unprotected and vulnerable.
It seems to you that the span of her wings could cover half the city, that entire buildings could fit in her mouth. And certainly, she could end all three of you with her fiery breath, or with a single swipe of her claw or her massive tail. One wrong move, even if accidental, even if she did not mean to - you would all be dead. 
“Come,” the prince says, pushing at the small of your back. But you stall, digging in your heels, frozen in place at the sight of her. 
“I’ve changed my mind,” you stammer. “We should go back - it is not safe…”
The prince gives an overbearing, if somewhat irritated sigh. 
“Dragons are loyal beasts,” he reassures. “Vhagar is loyal to me, she obeys me - ”
“She is a beast,” you hiss, hugging your drowsy son closer to your chest. “She cannot be trusted. It is too dangerous - I won’t let you bring him any closer - ”
Prince Aemond does not like to be challenged. He turns around to look at you coolly, his voice low and scornful as he speaks. 
“Is your opinion of me so unfavourable, wife, that you think I would risk harm to my own son?”
“No,” you respond, quietly, but truthfully. Since you were married, your opinion of the prince has only risen, slowly but surely. And it continues to do so, still - though perhaps not right now. “I don’t like it - ”
“Mhm - so you said,” your husband says dryly, all but wrenching the swaddled boy from your arms. 
He does not complain, the boy. Prince Aemond comes to visit often, at least once a day, and sometimes more. He sits with the child, reads to him, lets him fall asleep in his arms - not for very long each time, but it is at least enough for the little boy to recognise his father’s low voice and stern face as something safe and comfortable. As is evident from the way he now settles against the prince’s leather-clad chest, tangling his little fist into a lock of his hair. 
The beast remains still, pensive as her rider approaches, her serpent’s eyes fixed on the thing in his arms, on what he is bringing her. Your most precious treasure, your life’s very purpose, completely at the mercy of the greatest dragon in the world. 
You might have felt more at ease if the soft, sparse hair on his head had been silver like his father’s, but alas, it is not. It is exactly like yours, and only the bright violet of his eyes gives away his true inheritance. 
And that seems like too little a thing for such a large creature to notice. 
Prince Aemond calls out in that strange language of his, with the open vowels and the rolling R’s. It is beautiful, especially in his mouth, and the dragon responds at once, contorting herself to let him touch her wrinkled neck with affection. Which is a strange sight, but what is even stranger is the way she grumbles - as though she likes it. He speaks to her as if she was another person, in long, full sentences that are much too complicated for you to even attempt to understand. There is only one word you can make out, for the sole reason that he says it twice - yoreliatzeh, or yorelatzya, or something akin to that. You haven’t a clue as to what it means. 
Vhagar snorts once, and the prince steps back to give her room to move, to rise up onto her legs and bring her head closer, her nose almost touching his hip. While you stand at a distance, staring at the utterly bizarre scene playing out in front of you. A fearsome, vicious beast, sniffing the child like a dog would. Gently and carefully, only she is so big that each of her cautious breaths is like a small gust of wind, making your husband’s hair billow about his face. When she makes a grunting noise, he carefully unwraps some of the swaddlings, holding the child up to let her see him better, smell him better. 
He is bright, your darling boy, and curious, like all babes and children. His eyes are wide as they take in Vhagar’s scaly form, and he gives a soft squeal of surprise or wonder, kicking his little feet under the blankets. Reaching his arm towards the beast's massive head, her massive teeth -
“Aemond, please - ” you gasp, clutching your hands to your throat. 
The prince turns his head to give you a stern look, one that clearly shows he is running out of patience. And maybe this time it is justified, because your fearful outburst startles the boy, who begins to squirm unhappily in his father’s arms. Fussing and whimpering; a sound that is as painful to you as salt to an open wound. 
“Bring him to me,” you plead, “can’t you see that he is frightened - ” 
“He is frightened because you are frightened,” the prince says, as soft spoken as always, but with a hint of something sharp underneath.
He cradles the boy closer to his chest, bouncing him gently, holding his head and murmuring soothing words. Exactly as you would do, and to the same effect. It calms him down, and his big, round eyes start darting around again, taking in his surroundings. The dragon, the grey sea, the fine silver clasps on his father’s clothes. It does seem that the latter intrigues him the most. 
Vhagar lifts her neck and tilts her head just slightly, seemingly very interested in the child, in this tiny little creature; the way he moves his little limbs, and his soft coos and noises. There is an almost… thoughtful look in her eyes, or at the very least a curious one. 
It makes you wonder about the extent of her perception. Whether she truly knows that this is Aemond’s child, that it came from him, from his body, his flesh. If she can sense it somehow, through the bond they purportedly share, or if she understood it when he spoke to her. 
How intelligent is a dragon? Are they like dogs or horses, able to learn the meaning of certain words, but not the full breadth of language? Or do they think as people, with nuance and emotion, and a mind as vivid as your own. 
You do not know. You suppose no one really does. 
“Come,” the prince calls, reaching his arm towards you, beckoning you closer. However, a single glance at Vhagar, whose mighty gaze is now focused on you, is enough to inspire disobedience in even the most well-behaved wife.
“I would really rather not - ”
“She must know the both of you,” he insists. 
“Is that - necessary?” you squirm, wringing your hands, very much aware that you are not a dragon rider, that you haven’t a drop of Valyrian blood. “Vhagar has no reason to think fondly of me…”
The prince scoffs. 
“Are you not the mother of my child?” he says. “Now, come.” 
You must go to him. He is your lord husband, and he is a prince, and such is the way of things. But you are not at all glad to, and you walk with shaky, reluctant steps, gripping onto his elbow and cowering behind him like a frightened child. 
You close your eyes when the dragon lowers her head once more, bringing it towards you. A sudden, low-pitched growl makes your heart tremble, but the prince speaks a soft command. Lykirī, Vhagar. Lykirī.
It has a calming effect on you too. As does the arm he keeps outstretched in front of you - solely for your comfort, you assume, as it would make no difference whatsoever, should Vhagar decide that she does not like you. But you appreciate the gesture nonetheless.
The air is warm, this close to her, and your skirts move around your legs when she breathes, slowly and deeply, while the prince speaks to her in soft tones. That word again, the one from before, and many others. You know the words for wife, for king, for father, brother, sister, even for dragon, but he says none of those now, so you have no guess as to what he is telling her. Or if she understands. Or what he would call you, if not his wife. 
This woman is my - spouse? lady? lover?
You do have a kind of love for him, and sometimes you think he does for you, too. Sometimes. One can never be sure of anything with the prince, who keeps himself so closely guarded. Even after more than a year of marriage. Even now that you have given him a child. 
The birth went mercifully well, but your recovery was long, and he has only recently begun to come to your bed again. And so far, only a handful of times. The first time, it was so painful for you that the act could not be completed, and the second time, he finished so quickly that it barely even counts. The third was better. Pleasurable for both of you, but still strange after going so long without it - at least for you. It is both likely and possible that the prince satisfied his urges elsewhere while your body was indisposed. You do not know. Nor do you wish to. 
The ground shifts beneath your feet, and the heat around you lessens, as does the heavy smell of burned flesh and brimstone, the very same one that so often clings to your husband’s clothes. When you open your eyes it is to the sight of Vhagar, settled onto her belly, her head laid atop her claws. Calm and docile, and with a deep rumble coming from her chest - one that is probably a sign of contentment, even if it sounds utterly terrifying. 
“Touch her,” the prince commands, giving a gentle push to your back. “You have nothing to fear, touch her.” 
It is quite clear that Vhagar is unruffled by your presence, that she is resting. But with her eyes heavy and half-closed, it makes her look so menacing, so evil - even though you know that evil does not exist inherently in any beast. Only in those who train it. 
You draw in a steadying breath, gathering up your courage, reaching your hand out - only to then think better of it and let it fall. 
“I am afraid to,” you whisper.
The prince sighs. But his hand closes gently around yours, bringing it to rest on the side of her nose, first the tips of your fingers, and then your whole palm. 
It is like nothing else you have ever felt, her scales. You always imagined that a dragon’s skin would feel like leather, but Vhagar’s skin is so much tougher, so much rougher, like running your hand over little rocks. And she is warm - so warm, as though a fire is always burning somewhere in her throat. 
She does not object at all to your touch, even when the prince withdraws his own hand, leaving only yours. Only you and Vhagar. The largest, oldest being in the world. 
To think, the things she has seen. The conquest, the Dornish Wars, the very founding of the realm of the Seven Kingdoms. Dozens of castles have crumbled in her fire, and thousands of people have perished, and she has fought and won hundreds of battles; torn through stone, rock and earth as though it was boiled jelly. 
It is at once terrifying and romantic, like something from a fairytale, or stories of ancient times. A creature of such myth and legend that you almost feel as though you should bow down to her, as one does before a great matriarch.
Vhagar the Conqueror. Queen of all Dragons. 
She closes her eyes when you draw back. 
“He might ride her too, some day,” the prince says quietly. Wistfully. 
“But dragons only have one rider - ” you protest, cutting yourself off when you realise what he meant. What he left unsaid. 
This is war. The realm is at war. Death is everywhere; at the end of a blade, in the point of an arrow. And if not on the field of battle, then in tainted water or plague-ridden camps; empty bellies or festering wounds.
“You shouldn’t say such things,” you mutter, looking down at your feet. Your dirtied shoes. 
The prince does not answer. A heavy mood has settled over the rocky beach, something vast and bleak and empty, only compounded by the surroundings. The colourless sky, the sombre crashing of waves. Even Vhagar gives a doleful sigh, as though she too is weary of what is to come.
She has been the prince’s companion since childhood. He was born to the queen, but Vhagar made him what he is, made him ruthless, made him brutally ambitious. Made him Aemond One-Eye, Aemond the Kinslayer. Prince Regent, Protector of the Realm. She has known him boy and man, as well as any, and better than most. She has known him in life, and she may yet know him in death.
You push that thought away as forcefully as your mind allows. You shouldn’t think such things. 
A coo from your son breaks the tension, and his eyes turn to the sky, where a large heron is flapping its wings. The afternoon is turning to evening, and soon the bell will ring for supper - something warm and comforting, you hope. You are cold, your breasts feel sore, and you have most certainly had enough excitement for one day. For several days, in fact.
“Can we go, please,” you breathe, looking up at your husband with wide, pleading eyes. 
“She is tired,” he says, with a soft glance at Vhagar’s terrifying face, and a gentle touch to her side. “Yes, we should.”
You walk slower on the way back. Uphill, with sore feet, and your boy now fast asleep in your arms. Safe and snug where he belongs. 
“My Prince,” you begin, sweet and innocent. “What does… yoreliatzeh mean?”
There is a sly little smile on his face when you look at him, a self-assured look in his remaining eye.
“Jorrāeliarza,” he corrects, with an artful pause before he continues. As though to keep you in suspense. “It means dear. Or… beloved.”
If he sees the sudden blush on your face, he does not let on. 
“Jorālitzeh.”
“No,” he says. “Jor-rāe-liar-za.”
“Jor-rāe-liar-za,” you repeat, trying your very best to mimic the exact movements of his mouth, the way he gently rolls his tongue. “Jorrāeliarza.”
“Better,” he nods, and then you round a corner, just in time to see the guards hastily hide their cards away, and the driver shuffling back towards the carriage, eagerly shoving his winnings into a pocket. 
Jorrāeliarza. Jorrāeliarza. Jorrāeliarza. 
Dear. Beloved. 
You like that very much.  
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Please feel free to come into my asks or DMs with critique of my fics! Constructive is preferred, but not required.
Tags. @arcielee, @targaryen-madness, @aemondsbabygirl, @qyburnsghost, @blackswxnn
I am a mess with the tagging, I'm so sorry if I forgot or wrongly tagged anyone. Let me know, I will fix it.
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shoresalt · 1 year ago
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long post about school
i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???
i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.
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brunchable · 3 months ago
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This is your boyfriend, Mom? | Beefy!Bucky Barnes x f!reader.
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Pairings: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Single Mom reader. Themes: Bucky getting absolutely roasted by a six and half year old baby boy. Summary: Bucky comes over and meets your very protective son for the very first time. A/N: I'm in a phase where I like Bucky interacting with kids. . .🥲
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The doorbell chimes, and you pull open the door, coming face to face with a broad-shouldered figure that fills the entire doorway. Bucky’s piercing blue eyes twinkle with humor, but there’s a hint of uncertainty in his posture, as if he’s unsure whether to step inside or bolt.
“You’re here!” you exclaim with a warm smile, stepping aside to let him in.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Bucky murmurs, leaning in for a brief kiss before glancing around your living room nervously. “So, where’s the little guy?”
A shuffle of small feet behind you catches your attention. You turn to see your son peeking out from behind the couch, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he sizes up the man who just entered his territory.
“There he is!” You wave your hand toward your son encouragingly. “Come say hi.”
Your son doesn’t budge, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Bucky like a miniature security guard. “So, this is your boyfriend?”
You can hear the disdain dripping from each word, and Bucky’s lips twitch into an amused smile. “I guess I am.”
“Mom,” your son deadpans, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s. “This is what you’ve been hyping up? He looks like he just rolled out of bed.”
“Hey, kid, I put in a lot of effort today.” Bucky gestures to his dark leather jacket, perfectly disheveled hair, and rugged stubble. “This is my ‘I’m totally put together but still approachable’ look.”
“Approachable?” your son snorts. “With that hair? You look like a drowned dog who’s been through a tornado and then zapped by lightning.”
Bucky blinks, surprised. He looks at you, then back at your son, and his mouth quirks up in a grin. “A drowned dog, huh? That’s original. So, what’s your excuse for your hair?”
Your son’s small hands shoot up defensively to his carefully combed locks. “My hair looks great, thank you very much. I didn’t put all this mousse in for you.”
You bite your lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “Be nice,” you whisper to your son, who rolls his eyes dramatically before turning his attention back to Bucky.
“Alright, old man—”
“Old?” Bucky interjects, eyebrows lifting. “I’m still in my prime, kid. What are you, five?”
“I’m six and a half.” Your son’s voice drips with indignation, as if Bucky has committed an unforgivable crime by getting his age wrong. “And you’re still old. You probably creak when you sit down.”
Bucky shakes his head, chuckling. “I don’t creak, but your mom might tell you I’ve got a few squeaky joints, yeah.”
“Ew, don’t—don’t tell me stuff like that.” Your son makes a gagging noise and then glares up at you. “Why is he even here, Mom? You know I’m supposed to have final say.”
“You have final say?” Bucky repeats, clearly intrigued. He shifts his weight, giving the boy a once-over. “What’s your name, anyway, kid?”
“Lucas.” He squares his shoulders, a defiant lift to his chin. “Got it memorized, old man?”
Bucky nods slowly, a glint of amusement in his gaze. “Lucas, huh? Alright, Lucas, I’ll try not to forget it.”
“You better not.” Lucas looks Bucky up and down, his brow furrowing in concentration. “Mom, this guy looks like one of those 90s action figures. You know, the kind where the legs don’t bend, and they’re so top-heavy they keep falling over.”
You snort loudly, unable to hold it in, and Bucky shoots you a betrayed look.
“Kid’s got a point,” you manage to say between laughs, and Bucky shakes his head, feigning exasperation.
“Oh, really?” Bucky folds his arms across his chest, staring down at Lucas. “Well, you look like a baby duck that wandered into a windstorm. All fluffed up and ready to pick a fight, huh?”
Lucas blinks, startled for a moment before narrowing his eyes, a grin forming on his face. “Better than looking like a grumpy cat that hasn’t had its coffee yet.”
You cough to hide your laughter, and Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Grumpy cat?”
“Yeah, with all those lines between your eyebrows.” Lucas steps closer, squinting as if he’s examining a rare species. “I bet you frown at the sun, too.”
You stifle a giggle, and Bucky sighs dramatically, placing his hands on his hips. “I’m starting to think you don’t like me, Lucas.”
“Starting?” Lucas tilts his head mockingly. “I’m basically giving you a head start, ‘cause if I really didn’t like you, you’d know.”
Bucky chuckles, glancing at you. “I like him. He’s got guts.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get too comfy, Gramps.” Lucas gestures to the couch with a flourish. “The only reason you’re even here is ‘cause Mom seems to think you’re ‘cute’ or whatever.”
“I am cute,” Bucky agrees seriously, causing Lucas’s mouth to drop open in disbelief.
“No. Way. You’ve got metal bits, and your beard is all scratchy, and—” Lucas cuts himself off, his gaze dropping to Bucky’s stomach. “And a jelly belly! Mom, did you know your boyfriend has a jelly belly?”
“What?” Bucky sputters, glancing down at himself with wide eyes. “I don’t have a jelly belly—Also this beard?” He strokes it like he’s pondering life’s great mysteries. “Your mom likes it.”
“Yes, you do!” Lucas insists, poking at Bucky’s midsection with a tiny finger. “Superheroes are supposed to be all muscle, but you’re hiding a squishy balloon in there.”
“Squishy balloon?” Bucky repeats, looking thoroughly betrayed as he turns to you.
“Lucas,” you chide gently, but your son’s eyes are wide and innocent. “Don’t be mean,” you add, fighting back laughter.
Bucky sighs and looks down at Lucas with a mock serious expression. “You know, I’m part super-soldier, part robot, and part… dad bod. It’s a package deal, kid.”
Lucas narrows his eyes, scrutinizing Bucky’s face. “I guess that makes you a little cooler, but you’re still a metal-armed grumpy pants.”
“Metal-armed grumpy pants?” Bucky echoes, eyebrows lifting. “Wow, we’re just racking up the nicknames today, huh?”
“Yup.” Lucas grins, then frowns again, cocking his head thoughtfully. “You’re also kinda like a… metal mop. All hair up top and a shiny stick arm.”
“A metal mop?” Bucky asks, his voice filled with mock offense as he raises his eyebrows. “You’re really on a roll.”
Lucas shrugs, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “I think it suits you.”
“Well, you’ve got guts, I’ll give you that,” Bucky says with a chuckle.
Lucas scowls, but there’s no real heat behind it. “You’re lucky, you know.”
“Oh?” Bucky leans down, hands on his knees to get on eye level with Lucas. “And why’s that?”
“‘Cause Mom likes you,” Lucas mutters, eyes flickering to you and back to Bucky, a hint of protectiveness in his tone. “But if you hurt her, I’ll tell everyone you still sleep with a nightlight.”
Bucky’s eyes widen in shock. “What? I don’t—”
“Yeah, okay,” Lucas interrupts, holding up a finger. “But I’ll tell everyone you do. Including all the Avengers.”
Bucky’s mouth opens, and then he shuts it, clearly struggling for a response. “You wouldn’t.”
Lucas just stares at him, completely unblinking. “You wanna test me, Mr. Metal Mop?”
Bucky glances at you, looking for support, but you just raise your hands innocently. “He’s tougher than he looks.”
After a long pause, Bucky leans down, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Alright, kid, name your terms.”
Lucas pretends to think for a moment, tapping his chin. “You have to play video games with me… three times. No complaints. And no quitting when I beat you.”
Bucky looks horrified. “I—”
“Deal?” Lucas extends his tiny hand with a sly grin.
Bucky glances between you and Lucas, then sighs dramatically. “Deal.”
Lucas’s grin widens. “Oh, and one more thing—if I catch you throwing the controller in frustration, I’ll know you can’t handle losing.”
Bucky stares at him, completely lost for words.
“Just a fair warning.” Lucas pats Bucky’s arm as if he’s the one doing Bucky a favor. “Welcome to the family, Mr. Jelly Belly who’s gonna get his butt kicked at Mario Kart.”
You burst out laughing, and Bucky groans, running a hand down his face. “You’re really not gonna let this go, are you?”
“Nope.” Lucas shakes his head with a grin. “Better practice up, Grumpy Pants.”
“Practice? Against you?” Bucky scoffs, but the smile pulling at his lips betrays him. “Kid, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you.”
“Sure, Mr. Nightlight,” Lucas replies smoothly. “Sure.”
Bucky glances at you and then back at Lucas, a mischievous look in his eye. “You know, at this rate, you’re gonna start calling me Dad.”
Lucas pauses, then tilts his head with a confused look. “Why would I call you Dad?”
Bucky smirks. “Because you know I’ll beat you so bad at those video games, you’re gonna need a parental figure to console you.”
“Right, I can call you Dad,” Lucas’s eyes light up, and he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper. “Only if you pay me twenty bucks a week, Dad.”
Bucky’s jaw drops. “Twenty bucks?!”
“Yeah,” Lucas shrugs nonchalantly. “Think of it as a ‘dad fee.’ I’m expensive. Mom’s got good taste.”
Bucky looks at you, baffled. “Did he just—?”
“Oh, and I’ll need a ride to school every morning,” Lucas continues, holding up his fingers as he lists his demands. “And ice cream. Twice a week. But no toppings. I’m not greedy.”
Bucky bursts out laughing, shaking his head. “You really thought this through, huh?”
“Business is business,” Lucas says with a serious nod. “So, what’s it gonna be, Dad?”
Bucky blinks, then leans back and sighs dramatically. “Sorry, buddy, but I think I’ll just stick with Mr. Metal Mop.”
Lucas crosses his arms, a sly grin forming on his lips. “Your loss. Could’ve been Dad. Now you’re just gonna be the guy who cried during Shrek.”
Bucky’s shoulders slump as he glances at you, utterly defeated. “I’m doomed.”
“Yup,” you say with a grin. “But hey, at least you didn’t agree to the ‘dad fee.’”
“True,” Bucky mutters, then he turns back to Lucas, raising an eyebrow. “But for the record, I did not cry during Shrek.”
“Sure, Mr. Nightlight,” Lucas deadpans. “Sure.”
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bleramind · 8 months ago
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Tag limit did me dirty lol.
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Illuminated presents: THE JAGUAR
This attempt at a pitch was officially REJECTED so I'm posting it here as well!
#oh I feel you about rejection#but I don't think you should give up just yet ?#clearly this means a lot for you to have put so much effort into a pitch !#so I suppose I'll give my thoughts on this pitch to give you feedback !#I love the art style !#but the action where he breaks out of the bindings (and his method of doing so) don't quite read clearly to me--#does he just pull the hooks out of the wall through sheer force ? is there some part of the interaction that I didn't catch properly ?#maybe foreshadow the break through his thoughts or more talking with miss bliss to visually explore the scene#and slow down a little#I think the “guatemala” panel (the very first one) could use a background to firther set the scene#where are we in guatemala ?#maybe an exterior shot of the temple#the final pages do leave several interesting questions !#are they doing this regularly ?#is it a roleplay dramaticized through the comic or actual canon ?#what's the recurring theme between chapters#if there would be multiple ?#is it capitalist colonial white “ceo” vs latino Indiana Jones style archaeologist#or is it dramaticized bedroom roleplay ?#or is it all a front for their relationship which runs deeper ?#I'm curious as to how they see the inherent divide in their work and where the chemistry originates from#but on a more logistical “pitch” side#did you provide any extra information in the pitch that wasn't presented here ?#because I'm genuinely curious#like is this an example chapter in its entirety or just the broad strokes ?#how is the publishing schedule looking like for adding more ?#I'm reaching tag limit here so I'll be briefer than I want to be#I'm curious as someone trying to break into the market myself trying to learn more#but also as someone who likes your work ! more importantly as someone who likes your work.#mera
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catboyieejeno · 4 months ago
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mingyu + foreplay
18+ minors do not interact!
• kim mingyu, who leaves so many kisses all over your body that you can't get the feeling of his lips off your mind for days after.
“god, i could kiss you forever.”
• open mouthed kisses along your neck and the expanse of your chest first thing in the morning, panting and groaning into your skin and muttering a string of pleas and praises with his little lisp, that’s even more obvious when he’s just woken up
“please let me feel you, need to feel you so bad right now,”
• or at night, dragging you onto his lap fresh out of your shower to wrap a hand around your jaw/throat and kiss your lips slowly and sensually. would drag his palms along your spine to pull you closer, all the way up until his fingers disappear into your hair, the smell of your body wash and shampoo driving him up the wall and making his dick swell up in his sweats
“y’smell so good. fuck, i just wanna taste you,”
• the feeling of his hot tongue dragging across your stomach and thighs is so dizzying that it immediately makes your vision lose focus. he's obsessed with being the reason for that look on your face, eyes hazy and glossed over, drooling lips wordlessly begging him for more.
“mmm, look at you. my pretty baby is fucked out already?”
• makes out with your pussy over the layer of your pretty cotton panties until you're soaked-through and whimpering. absolutely loves when your squirm or try to wiggle away. loves to subtly dance along the line of edging and overstimulation.
“don’t run baby, let me make you feel good. you can take it right?”
• doesn’t abuse his strength, but will use it to his advantage when it comes to sex. keeps your pretty legs pinned open, or your hips rolling against his nose and tongue while you’re sitting on his face, even when you’re so exhausted from coming that you can barely hold yourself up
“I got you, honey. stay just like this f’me.”
• if any if the members are there, he’d cover your mouth with his hand to muffle your whimpers and cries as he rubs your clit with his fingers relentlessly. mind you—a few things can be true at once: yes, he loves the noises you make and would do absolutely anything to hear them as loudly and clearly as possible. yes, he doesn’t actually care if the members hear, nor does he care about the teasing he’ll have to endure later (besides, he knows they can probably hear you either way, despite his best efforts to keep quiet). while those facts are both very true—god, does he love how shy and nervous you get at the thought of being overheard by them, eyes blown wide and brows furrowed as you struggle to keep still and quiet all at once.
“Gotta be good and stay quiet, baby. you can do that, right?”
• loves to tease you before actually putting it in: taps his head against your puffy clit, presses himself to your entrance only slightly, chuckles breathlessly when his tip is so fat that it slips and ends up just laying heavy and hot on your pelvis or poking your thigh instead. slides his dick between your lips until you’ve soaked every inch of him and you’re shaking with need from the stimulation to your clit and the desire to just be filled up.
“be patient, yeah? let me enjoy this pretty pussy.”
• so easily distracted by you… if you were helping him with dinner he’d turn off the stove at the sight of you in your little shorts or lack-thereof, if you’re wearing just his shirt. immediately bends you over the counter and eats you out from the back, face buried in your pussy and hands sliding your shirt up or pinning your wrists together on your back
“forget the food baby, it can wait when you’re wearing those little shorts…”
• pictures. of your tits covered in his spit, of the marks he left on your ribs or thighs, of your spent pussy covered in his cum, of your hands wrapped around his cock, of his hand print on your ass—keeps them in a hidden photo album and jerks off to them all the time when he’s away. sends you videos of him touching himself, audio on.
“m’thinking about you. and looking at our pictures. goddamn… wish i could fuck you right now. i miss you so bad.”
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