#that 72 hour thing was a joke I have no current plans to do that

[ossumarts]

Erm .. what the scallop ….

[sethsclearwater]

synopsis: based on this request where paul and swan!reader are in the middle of a cold-war with neither willing to talk to the other. reader gets fed up and handcuffs herself to paul at a pack meeting but loses the key. angst, smut, and fluff ensue.

warnings: smut, lil bit of angst, dom!paul, sub!reader, heavy praise from paul here

word count: 4.88k

…

it wasn’t unusual for you and paul to find yourself in arguments over little things, though, it was unusual for them to last more than a few hours. so when you found yourself at a stand-still with paul over him hiding some news about his mom coming back to la push from you, you knew it was bad. nearly 72 hours had passed and neither of you had said a word to each other and it had gotten so bad that you hadn’t seen paul for over ⅔ of those hours thanks to him hiding out at jared’s house.

though, once you realized that you would both need to be at the monthly tribal council meeting, you’d devised a rather dumb plan to handcuff yourself to him. you knew you’d probably never hear the end of it from him but desperate times call for desperate measures, right? 

thankfully, your dad was the police chief and wasn’t too concerned about either of his daughter’s getting into his stuff so the handcuffs you needed were right with all his stuff at the entry of your childhood home. even though you’d moved in with paul nearly a year ago, you still owned a set of keys for the home and charlie was away on a fishing trip for the weekend, making sliding in and out to grab the handcuffs even easier than it already was.

as soon as you had the handcuffs and keys in hand, you were driving off to billy black’s house before your nerves could get the best of you. the drive there wasn’t too long and, soon enough, you were pulling down the familiar gravel road to their ranch house.

thankfully, paul’s car was already in the driveway along with just about everyone else’s so you weren’t worried about needing to wait forever for him to show up. unfortunately for you, your nerves had gotten the better of you as you were getting out of the car and you spilled your wallet, keys, and phone onto pebbled road that was billy’s driveway.

“hey you okay?” jared’s voice called moments before you felt his hand sliding down your back as he crouched down next to you on the ground, “i got it,” he reassured, helping you gather everything up.

you let out a heavy sigh, lifting your gaze to meet his for a moment and he just offered you a knowing smile, gently handing you your things, “you just break outta prison or something?” he joked when he saw the death grip you currently had on the metal shackles. 

“‘s nothing,” you reassured, and, knowing he wouldn’t buy your story for a minute, you were quick to stand up and push your wallet and keys into the back pocket of your jeans before brushing off the dirt on you, “have you seen paul?” you asked, ignoring the way jared’s gaze changed to a more concerned one when he saw how you were ignoring his initial question.

deciding against pressing you any further, jared nodded after a moment, “uh yea i think he’s out back-” he started and, before he could continue to pry about the details of your handcuffs and, more specifically, what you were planning on doing with them, you were calling a ‘thank you!’ to him over your shoulder while you strode down the short path to billy’s backyard.

it wasn’t crowded by any means but, for a house that typically only saw 2 people a day, it sure looked a bit crowded with most of the pack, imprints, and a few council members intermingling with one another. you only had to pause for a moment before your gaze zeroed in on your imprinter, currently sat down in one of the lawn chairs and engaged in what looked like a half-hearted conversation with embry and jacob.

paul seemed to take notice of your presence too, his gaze lifting to find yours almost as soon as you found him. he didn’t seem too phased by you starting to stalk over to him, apparently also not noticing the silver bangles you carried with you as his gaze remained rather stoic while he watched.

“if you’re coming over here to grovel-” paul started as he watched you grab his right hand, voice pausing rather abruptly when he saw you slap the handcuff around his wrist, securing it in one quick movement, “what the fuck are you-” he went to pull his hand from yours but, for once in your life, you were actually quicker than him and managed to get your left wrist secured with the other cuff.

“oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me right now,” paul rolled his eyes, sinking back into the lawn chair with a resigned groan that had embry and jacob both turning their attention to you. 

“5 bucks says he’s fucking her within the hour,” embry immediately bet when he saw the scene currently unfolding in front of him. 

jacob barked out a laugh, shaking his head, “no way she’s letting him hit it,” he reasoned, him and embry quickly escalating to a full on bickering match. you let out a happy hum, turning your attention to paul who looked quite miserable to say the least.

“can we talk now?” you asked, expecting a bit more of a reaction from paul but he just rolled his eyes, not looking at you as he got up and started walking back towards the car, you quickly trailing behind him.

despite his annoyance, you did a little victory dance in your head to celebrate your success. not talking with him for almost 3 days now was about to kill both of you so you were just glad he was even willing to be around you (though you did decide to block out the thoughts that the only reason this was happening was because you literally forced him into it but when there’s a will there’s a way, right?)

he remained silent as he got his keys out of his pocket, unlocking his car and pulling the driver’s side door open and sitting inside. the action yanked at your wrist a little harder than he expected and you let out a yelp when you felt the metal pinch your skin. he sucked in a heavy breath before taking your wrist with his free hand to inspect it, “where are the keys for this thing? you’re gonna keep hurting yourself,” he finally broke the tension as he asked his question and you just shook your head, suddenly much less concerned about the pain in your wrist as you remembered why you did all this in the first place. 

“not taking them off until you talk to me,” you explained as you crawled into the car, rather gracefully managing to get across paul and into the passenger seat all things considered.

“what does it look like i’m doing right now?” paul asked, pulling the driver’s side door shut before he was turning the engine on with his handcuffed hand, the action once again tugging you along with him. despite the annoyance of it all, you were rather satisfied with how your plan was currently playing out. 

“that’s not what i mean and you know it,” you countered, looking up at him as he finally allowed his gaze to meet yours, both of you holding it for a moment before his shoulders dropped and he nodded before turning his attention back to the steering wheel.

he made quick work of getting the car in drive, your handcuffed hand tugging against his at the movement, and he pulled out of billy’s driveway so he could make the drive back to your shared apartment, “what do you wanna know?” paul’s resigned voice broke the silence after he pulled onto the main road, looking over at you for a moment when you didn’t immediately respond to him.

“can you tell me why you didn’t want me knowing your mom was back here?” you kept your voice soft as you asked your question, already more than aware of just how sensitive the topic was seeing how explosive it was the last time you two broached the waters just a few days prior.

paul turned his attention back to the road, letting out a heavy sigh, “i wouldn’t call her that… my mom.” he explained, keeping his attention on the road as he started to explain himself, “i’ve only met her twice and one of those times was when she handed me over to my dad after she had me. the only other time was over a decade ago and i didn’t know who she was until my dad called the cops on her for showing up at our house while he was at work and i was home alone after school.” 

you frowned, intertwining your fingers with your handcuffed hands, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze that he gladly received. although he kept his gaze on the road ahead of him, he did allow you to keep your fingers tangled with his.

you allowed him a few moments to think about what he wanted to say next, patiently waiting as you rubbed gentle circles on the top of his hand with your thumb, “i didn’t even know she was back until billy let it slip and i guess i wasn’t ever supposed to find out. my dad said she was just here looking for money and didn’t think i’d want to know about it so he asked billy and old quil not to say anything about it to me,” he continued, another heavy sigh falling from his lips as he exhaled, “and i didn’t want to bring you into it because i didn’t want to stress you out for no reason. you get all worked up about that kinda stuff all the time and there’s really no reason for you to be doing that so i didn’t bring it up.” 

you frowned, opening your mouth to say something but nothing came out as you struggled to find something to say in response to his confession. you’d blindly assumed that he had chosen to hide everything from you because he didn’t trust you - not because he was trying to protect you and suddenly you felt absolutely horrible for being so upset with him when he was clearly upset himself.

“and then of course fucking jacob had to go telling you so you found out anyway and i probably shouldn’t have been as shitty with you about it as i was but i was already stressed out about everything and really didn’t want to drag you into it,” he continued, “and she’s already gone now anyways so it really doesn’t matter anymore. i saw her for about 30 seconds before she left and it was nothing great. she looked as strung out as she did the last time i saw her and then she was on her way - nothing you needed to see.”

he pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex, parking the car before he finally relaxed back into the seat and looked over at you, a frown on his face as he tried to get a better read of you.

figuring your silence wasn’t helping anything, you squeezed his hand before speaking, “i’m sorry paul,” your voice came out as a whisper and his frown just deepened, “i didn’t realize you were doing it to protect me,” you added, sliding your free hand up his arm to tug him towards you for a rather awkward but albeit much-needed hug.

“‘m sorry too princess,” paul mumbled against your hair, wrapping his free arm around you to help lift you up and over the counsel so he could pull you into his lap, the handcuffs making a rather unfortunate clanking noise with all the movement.

neither of you acknowledged it, holding onto each other for a minute as you both relished in the feeling of finally being back in each other’s arms after so long apart. paul’s free hand slipped under your sweatshirt to run his palm up and down your back, “you wanna go inside?” he murmured after a few moments of silence.

you hummed and nodded, lifting your head from his shoulder to look up at him. paul pressed his lips to your forehead for a second before he turned the car off and opened the driver’s side door, “you still insisting we be handcuffed?” he asked as he helped you off his lap and out of the car, letting out a breathy laugh when you blushed and shook your head.

“don’t need to be handcuffed anymore,” you whispered, giggling when he got out of the car and shut the door before pulling you into another tight hug. you wrapped your arms around his torso to squeeze him back, paul rocking you back and forth for a moment before releasing you from his grip.

with your arms now free, you reached into your back pocket to fish around for the key, frowning when you quickly realized your fingers weren’t finding anything that even remotely resembled the tiny key, “you lost the key?” paul asked before you could even get yourself to admit you’d misplaced it.

sucking in a deep breath, you looked up at your imprinter who looked mildly amused by the whole ordeal, clearly trying to keep up a displeased composure but failing when the corners of his lips pulled at the tiniest bit of a smile, “maybe…” you trailed off, reaching your handcuffed hand into your other back pocket, the action yanking paul’s hand with yours as you fished around for the key that was most definitely lost somewhere in billy’s driveway now. 

“okay let’s go inside and figure it out, yea? you’re freezing,” paul’s handcuffed hand was gently but firmly tugging your hand out of your back pocket, quickly lacing your fingers together so he could tug you towards the entrance to your apartment without hurting your wrist in the process. 

with a resigned sigh you nodded, following his lead as you two made your way back into your apartment complex, paul only taking a moment to get the key out of his pocket before he unlocked the door and ushered you inside to the much-needed warmth and comfort of your shared apartment. 

after a series of anxious thoughts immediately bombarded your brain with thoughts of you two getting stuck together for all of eternity, you were quickly working yourself up as you spun around to face paul who still didn’t look nearly as bothered as you thought he would be by the whole thing. you opened your mouth to spill all of your worst case scenarios to him but paul beat you to it, “don’t even start that-” he cut you off, “the worst that can happen is we call your dad and he comes over when he’s back from his fishing trip tomorrow, yea?” he soothed, watching as you processed his words for a moment and smiling a bit to himself when he saw your shoulders drop a tiny bit as you slowly nodded.

“you can’t just break them?” you asked softly, frowning when paul let out a breathy laugh and shook his head.

“princess,” paul started, stepping even closer to you so he could slide both of his hands over your hips as he backed you into the kitchen counter, “i don’t think being attached to you for 24 hours is the worst thing that could happen,” he mused, sliding his free hand up to gently brush your hair off your shoulder, “besides,” he murmured, lowering his head to ghost his lips across your ear, the action sending shivers up your spine despite how little contact there was, “i’m sure we can make good use of the time, yea? gotta make up for not seeing you all week,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the soft spot behind your ear, leaving a trail of kisses along your neck and collarbone as he took his time taking you in.

despite how ridiculous the rational part of your brain was screaming this was, you were almost immediately folding as you dropped your head back and let out a heavy sigh while paul continued to suckle at your neck and collarbone.

“let me make you feel good, yea?” he asked, intertwining the fingers of your handcuffed hands, offering you a gentle squeeze when you hummed and nodded, eyes fluttering closed. paul barely contained his laugh at how easily you went from being an anxious mess to a horny one but he managed as he slid his free hand down to fiddle with the button on your jeans.

paul didn’t waste any time, undoing the button and zipper on your jeans so he could help you shimmy out of them, both of you letting out heavy sighs when you finally kicked them off, “did you touch yourself while i was gone?” he asked, voice raspy as he lifted his head from your neck to look down at you while he got his sweatpants off as well.

you broke eye contact with him to look down, immediately losing your train of thought when you saw the way his cock was creating a tent in his boxers, “eyes on me princess,” paul reminded, the familiar dominance returning to his voice that you quickly realized you’d been missing the past few days you’d spent without him.

slowly, you lifted your eyes back up his figure until you met his brown ones, “you gonna answer me?” he asked, not breaking eye contact while his free hand dipped below your panties while he swiped two fingers through your damp folds, lips curling into a faint smile when he felt how wet you were for him.

your free hand quickly gripped the counter behind you, looking for anything to stabilize yourself as you felt yourself growing weaker by the second. though, some deep part of your brain that knew paul was just waiting for you to disobey him again so he could punish you helped you respond, “only once,” you whispered, letting out a loud whimper when he rolled your clit between his pointer finger and thumb, his touch gone almost as soon as it was there. 

maintaining eye contact with paul was proving to be difficult but you managed anyways, praying that by behaving yourself he’d opt not to be too rough with you once he finally decided just how he wanted you for the rest of the night. you wished you could read him as well as he read you read but settled on watching his eyes as they flickered with excitement as he seemingly figured out just what he wanted.

“just once?” paul repeated back to you, tugging your panties down before he kicked his boxers off as well, both of you apparently unable to get out of your sweatshirts as your hands remained locked together.

you hummed, “jus’ once,” you whispered back, an alarmed gasp leaving your lips when he used his free hand to lift you up and sit you on the counter, the cold against the backs of your thighs and ass coming in stark contrast to his body heat.

paul chuckled at your reaction, breaking eye contact as tugged your thighs apart with his hand, “show me how you touched yourself,” he mused, that cocky smirk you knew and loved returning to his features as he watched your cheeks heat up to a deep red at his demand.

the submissive side of you was begging to be let out and please him and you quickly let her take over as you lifted your intertwined hands, untangling your fingers from his so you could grab his pointer finger and guide it towards your heat.

the handcuffs clanked with all the sudden movement and paul didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, just smiling to himself as he watched you press his pointer finger down on your clit, “show me how you touched yourself princess,” paul encouraged and you slowly worked his finger in light, tight circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves between your thighs.

a heavy sigh left your lips as you touched yourself with his finger, paul suddenly much more interested int he scene playing out in front of him as he watched your eyes flutter closed, your heart rate speed up, and your tight little hole just centimeters away from his finger pulsate around nothing. 

suddenly, his cock’s throbbing became much more apparent to him, precum leaking from the tip as he listened to the soft sounds leaving your lips while you got to work pleasuring yourself.

deciding against his instincts to take his time with you, he found himself guiding his cock up to your entrance, nestling the tip just inside your entrance to help lubricate you with his precum and tease himself with your warmth. at the sensation, your eyes fluttered back open to look between your thighs, “you’re gonna take it like a good girl, yea?” he asked, smirking again when you quickly nodded, beyond eager to have your imprinter back inside you after so long apart. 

“such a good girl for me,” paul praised, “keep showing me how you touched yourself, ‘m learnin’ a lot,” he teased, smiling as he listened to you giggle at his comment - both of you knowing damn well he taught you just about everything you knew and loved about touching yourself.

giggles aside, you pressed his finger back down onto your clit, rubbing his finger in slow, wider circles while he pressed his hips into yours. you blossomed around him, your heat immediately enveloping him as he split your walls apart on his cock, “doin’ such a good job taking my cock,” paul mused, gripping your hip with his free hand so he could give you a squeeze to reaffirm his praise.

you beamed up at him, happy to know he was happy. he leaned down to press his lips to your forehead, both of you now chest to chest as he buried himself inside your warmth and allowed you a moment to process his length inside you, “could you make yourself cum?” he murmured, squeezing your hip again when you didn’t immediately respond to him.

with a quiet sigh, you released his finger as you lifted your head from his lips to peek up at him, “couldn’t do it without you,” you whispered, your cheeks coated with an even deeper red as you bashfully waited for his response.

paul smiled again, apparently loving every moment of it, “let me show you how to do it,” he mused, the familiar noise of the handcuffs clanking again as he rested his hand on top of yours, taking your pointer finger between his to guide it back to your now swollen nub.

“so first you’re gonna need something to stretch out that pretty pussy of yours, yea? did you use that toy i got you for your birthday?” he asked, referencing the absolutely ridiculous neon pink vibrating rabbit he’d so generously gifted you a few months prior.

your embarrassment around using it without paul had managed to get the best of you which had led to you now using anything on yourself when you’d tried to get off the day before. you shook your head, “didn’t use it,” you murmured, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you waited for his response. 

“princess,” paul started, “‘s definitely why you couldn’t cum,” he chuckled before adding, “you always need that thrusting motion to make yourself cum, yea?” he asked, referencing your blatant inability (usually just refusal though thanks to your clear appreciation for his cock and fingers) to cum without something of his inside you.

you frowned but nodded, leaning back on your free hand as you peeked down between your legs where you watched as he pressed your finger against your clit to begin stroking the nub ever so lightly. 

“so next time you put it inside you and then what?” he asked, continuing his light minstrations against your clit, not seeming in any rush to get an answer out of you as he watched you struggle to process the sensitivity of his featherlike touches against your clit and having his cock buried to the hilt inside you.

you sucked in a breath, eyes searching his as you came up with your response, “then touch my clit like you showed me how,” you whispered bashfully, anxiously pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you waited to figure out if your answer was correct or not.

thankfully, paul hummed in approval, “did you start like this?” he asked, his fingers pressing down on yours so rub at the bundle of nerves, the action having a gasp leaving your lips almost instantaneously as you leaned back further against your free hand for support. 

he rubbed your finger in slow, tight circles though he added a bit more pressure than you were earlier, the action having a surprisingly good effect on how much pleasure began coursing through your body, “jus’ like that,” you whispered breathlessly, making eye contact with him again as he hungrily watched your reaction to everything.

slowly pulling his hips back, he thrusted into your heat, setting a rhythm as slow and steady as he was on your clit, taking his time building you up to your first orgasm of the night, “doesn’t it feel so much better with my cock inside you though?” he teased, smirking as he watched you whimper and nod, eagerly allowing him to continue to manipulate your handcuffed hands to further pleasure yourself. 

“‘s why you need that toy princess, it’ll make you feel all nice and full and should touch that spot,” his grin widened when he watched your reaction to his cock effortlessly kissing your cervix, loving how easily you came undone on him when he did that.

“paul-” you whimpered, eyes meeting his again. your brain started desperately working through all the ways you could get him to let you cum and right now begging him to continue what he was doing seemed to be winning in your cloudy mind, “keep going,” you pleaded, head dropping back with a low moan when he pressed down a bit harder on your finger, the action increasing the pressure against your clit as he began to pick up the pace of his movements, rubbing your finger in smaller, faster circles as he sped up his thrusts to complement.

despite how he was clearly enjoying teaching you, you could tell he was getting close too as his breathing picked up, “and when you’re gonna cum what do you do?” he asked, voice tighter while he began chasing both of your rapidly approaching orgasms.

despite how fuzzy your mind was, you managed to choke out, “keep doing it.”

“my good girl,” paul praised, “now you gonna ask me if you can cum on my cock or are you trying to get spanked later tonight?” he demanded, both of your breathing hot and heavy, the coil in your belly rapidly tightening as you nearly came undone on him right then and there.

despite how dizzy with pleasure the thought of him spanking you was, your desire to be good for him overrode everything, “can i cum?” you whimpered, suddenly much more aware that you might cum on him before he let you, something you’d never done with him before and were suddenly wondering if you’d shortly be finding out the punishments that came with that. 

paul normally would’ve loved sending you right over the edge just so he had a good excuse to punish you but with his own orgasm about to plow through him like a freight train, he responded, “cum on my cock princess.” 

as the words fell off his tongue, your world exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors, the coil in your belly snapping as you orgasmed on your imprinter, “paul,” you moaned his name loudly, reaching your supporting hand up to wrap around him and hold him tightly against you while he continued to rub your finger across your clit while you came.

within a few moments, paul’s thrusts were losing rhythm as he spilled himself inside your channel. despite the intensity of his own orgasm, paul reminded, “breathe princess,” hugging you tightly against him with his free hand. he pressed his lips to your hair, softening his grip on your fingers so you could lessen the pressure on your clit as you came back to your senses.

“did so good for me,” he praised, peppering your hairline with kisses while he evened his breathing out and waited for you to do the same.

after a few moments, his lips curled into a smile against your hair, “maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing,” he teased, giving your handcuffed hand a squeeze and laughing when that familiar blush returned to your cheeks but you nodded nonetheless. 

[queensparklekitten]

1, 3, 8, 9, 10, 12, 17, 22, 27, 30, 41, 46, 54, 58, 67, 68, 72, 81, 83, 85, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 96, 99

currently? kingdom come, ship in a bottle, canary in a coal mine, bitter water, vices & virtues, never love an anchor

there are no books within reach

girls may display a tendency to disappear into the forest and returning at midnight with an indescribable expression

once a friend of mine wrote a song parody for me it was cute

i have no idea because i have no concept of time

not intentionally

i have eaten more than one thing in the past few hours

no

loud dog barking at night, minecraft amethyst noises

my mom, the cosplay glove on the side table

the first sleepless domain print book

no, but a dragonfly has landed on my hand before

some stylus pens

no

i have no idea. i think i was either drawing or watching youtube

i don't think he has one

i tell people so they can know what happened, speedrun my bucket list, maybe make an animatic that's far lower quality than what i was hoping to make but that people love anyways, plan a ghost outfit, pet my cat a lot, and yeah i'd probably be scared

definitely a joke of some kind.

an abstract concept i can't explain.

ship in a bottle

muskrat

i'm not giving anyone free ammo like that

freak out at first and then say hi and try to figure out what's going on. if i'm wide awake after this, watch youtube with them. if i woke anyone else up, stop them from trying to get rid of the mummies in case they hurt them. they're not doing anything, so i assume they don't want to hurt me.

flight probably. or talking to animals

november 5th

not that i know of

"ok, so you know The Game? if you don't, i'll explain it. the object is to not think about the game. everyone is always playing it at all times even after they lose they're still playing. when you lose you have to announce it out loud. anyways i just lost the game and now so did all you"

[vukovich]

Hii!! I hope you are having a great day!!🧡

For that fic writer ask, how about 4, 6, 9, 13, 24, 32?

I am sorry i am asking so many questions but i am very curious😅 But no pressure! You don't have to answer all of them!

Thanks for the questions! This is going to be kind of short, because I had these almost done, and then Tumblr fucking ate the post. Short and sweet on the second round.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Pass. I don't use the AO3 bookmarks, and I don't have anything open that I'm currently reading. And I forget fics about 72 hours after I read them. It's more exciting that way.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

Mostly from beta reading, to be honest. So I primarily read it via gdocs on my laptop at my desk.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@tontonguetonks @primavera-cerezos @fw00shy are all excellent.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

Broadly, yes, but specifically, no. I swear to god, every fic has had a different outlining process. They range from zero outline or planning to a meticulous notecard system. I have no idea why.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Hmm... that's a tough one. Probably pregnancy casually lumped in as part of a happily ever after. Like... the inherent stress and violence of childbirth and childrearing does not leave me with fuzzy feelings. That's a cliffhanger ending. Milage varies.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

I'm just gonna pick some random ones.

-- If virginity is a concept, and men are willing to pay for it, then they’re paying for an idea. Some kind of fake ownership. Virginity, the original NFT. Non-Fuckable Token. Cunt-based crypto. For Sale by Owner: Rose Weasley-Granger's Virginity (Rose/Draco, 30k) -- One knows one has gone too long without a good, hard fuck when one is fantasizing about being Neville Longbottom’s fuck. Fork. Fuck. His focking furk. The Ugly Duckling and the Peacock (Now with art!) (Draco/Neville, 12k) --

“No! No, no, see, Horned Serpents form mating balls. It’s like a big fuck-all snake orgy. Bloody brilliant quirk of evolution. You can’t tell me Luna Loves Very Good And Quite Often would miss that opportunity.”

Ron blinked at his mobile several times while his brain stuttered. “Are you telling me Luna fucked a bunch of snakes?”

Charlie shrugged. “Wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Look. The closest thing I have to a Horned Serpent expert is my spunktrumpet Dragon Tamer brother. Can you come in and help, or not?” How to Drain Your Dragon (Charlie/Luna, 3.7k)

-- Those are all rare pair fics. I learned something about myself.

From Fic Writer Ask Game

[pawjamas]

hey..i’ve been back from my stay at the residential facility for several days now and A lot happened, which i’m putting under a a readmore bc it’s potentially triggering (warning for mentions of s*xual abuse/gasl*ghting/etc) my life is basically being uprooted, so much happened in the month of June and is currently still happening, which i’ll explain below

i was admitted to the residential facility on June 9th, it seemed super promising, there was an abundance of 4-5 star reviews from patients online. my friend who currently is working in the mental health field researched about the facility and also confirmed that it seemed a lot better than most places are. the first day was kind of rough and i knew getting adjusted would be difficult but could never have expected what happened the following several days to happen. i made friends pretty quickly, my roommate on the first day there was very kind to me, she told me if i ever needed someone to talk to that she’d be there for me, we also shared the fact we were both nonbinary/just a lot of things we had in common so it was comforting to know her on the first day there.

i spoke to my psychiatrist the next day who told me i could get off “close observations” which is why i was in the room i was, the label is basically something you get put on if you’re at risk for s*lf h*rm/etc and need a staff member w/ you at all times. so since i was taken off of that i was switched to a different room with a different roommate. she was a 60 yr old woman who was in the other program offered at the facility (mine was mental health related and hers was for substance abuse/addiction) i didn’t feel too comfortable around her the first night, she complained about every single thing, she never participated in the groups offered at the facility, she told me over and over again how much she hated being here. the next few days were a blur and are still very fuzzy, my mind is still keeping all the memories locked away which has happened to me many times before w/ trauma where everything’s vague and not fully there.

basically, over the course i was roommates w/ this woman she groomed me and manipulated me into doing anything she wanted me to do for her, she physically/s*xually assaulted me multiple times, and caused my mental health to plummet even further than i thought was possible. i eventually did get to switch rooms, and i only recalled (again, vaguely) what happened those nights about a week later and reported it to the staff where half of them treated it like a joke. i went to the hospital the night i reported everything to get examined and ended up calling my mom on my friend’s phone (she drove to the hospital and stayed w/ me the whole time) and my mom was probably the worse to take my trauma/situation out of anyone. she told me i should’ve spoken up sooner, asked why i didn’t defend myself from this woman, basically the whole phone call was her blaming me for not doing anything about my assault. when i hung up my friend even told me that what she said wasn’t okay, and was victim-blaming.

i left the hospital and got back to the facility around 1:00 am, and the following days i spent there i was continuously getting worse because being in the environment my trauma had happened was preventing me from healing, plus i literally had to be in the same rooms as the person who had assaulted me and seeing her was extremely triggering. she continuously would call me crazy and delusional and that i made the entire thing up, i had difficulty telling what was real and what was not because of how bad i was treated by her and the staff. i’m thankful i met some really kind patients there that became my friends, they helped me the most out of anyone there. at one point a nurse had pulled me into a room and told me how i should never have spoken up about my abuse, how i should consider how it makes my abuser feel, and stop talking to the friends i made about it. but i’m glad i had people who would actually listen.

i mentioned it once but again, my mom was probably the worst person to talk to when all this was happening, at one point one evening when phones were available i called her and told her i needed to leave, i wanted to come home because this all of this was affecting me so badly, and she screamed over and over that i can’t come home and i have to stay, that it’s too bad that happened but continuing to do the program was more important. at that point i broke down and cried, begging her to let me come home and she screamed repeatedly for me to shut up and then hung up on me.

after that evening i knew that i wouldn’t be taking any shit from her any longer, i called my friend who lived nearby about her the following day or so, asked if i could stay with her at her apartment, which didn’t end up happening because we both worried my mom being as spiteful as she is would take legal action if i did leave w/ my friend instead of my mom. i ended up talking to a couple of the friends i made there that i was having bad intrusive thoughts, and that evening i was baker acted (involuntarily hospitalized) and transferred to another facility, which could’ve been because of the staff or me being reported for the thoughts i was having, but regardless i was away from my abuser and didn’t have to see her again.

the hospital i stayed at was...a lot worse than the other place, i barely got to speak to the psychiatrist/therapist during my entire time there, people would joke about how little time you got w/ them. they ended up keeping me there longer than the required 72 hrs, which i asked multiple people why and never got an answer, at one point my mom wanted to make sure i was sent back to the residential facility of which i had to explain would be detrimental to me and my health, but as usual when she had her mind set on something she won’t listen to reason or anyone who explains other (more beneficial) options.

i ended up calling my friend that lived back in the town i live in, told her the whole story and what’s been going on, and ultimately asked if i could move in with her because her and her family had already offered to let me. she was more than happy to have me move in, so that’s what i ended up planning on doing when i got discharged, was have her pick me up instead of my mom. and i called my mom to tell her that i’d be moving out, all the reasons why it’d be beneficial to us both, she took it horribly and told me if my friend picks me up i can never ever come home again and that i’m kicked out. i told her that’s fine, even though it hurt so badly when she said it.

finally, the following monday i was discharged, my friend from back home picked me up along w/ her husband, and we made sure to get all my things from the residential facility (my clothes/shampoo/makeup/etc) before heading back to her house, which was about an hour and a half drive home.

so now i’m staying w/ her, i still feel out of place and disoriented and uncomfortable but her and her family have been very welcoming. i’m trying to get all my stuff from my mom’s but it’s been a huge struggle to get anything from her because she loves to overcomplicate anything and then make it seem as if it’s all your doing and she’s the biggest, kindest saint ever to grace your life. my friends and i all think she has undiagnosed/untreated bipolar, and i definitely think she at least needs therapy and meds too but she doesn’t believe in either for herself. i just want my stuff back, and i do miss my room a lot and jazzy but there’s no way i’m getting either back, i’m also worried how my mom is treating jazzy because she hates him and i’ve witnessed first-hand what she’s done to him before.

i might post my p*ypal / v*nmo (censoring bc i think tumblr is weird abt posts that have these keywords or smth) because i don’t have any income rn...thank you if you read all this lmao i still didn’t even cover half of the other stuff i went through at the place i was baker acted but essentially my life has been turned upside down and i’m having to figure out how to keep going despite it all

[beelsnack]

Hey there! Love your Writing!! Can I request Some HC/Drabbles on the brothers and Diavolo comforting a Mc(GN) That Struggles with Migraines? (Thank you in advance if you do!)

Aw, thanks Nonnie!

I get migraines pretty frequently, so I’m pretty sure I’ve got headcanons lined up already, lol.

Content Warning: Mild description of vomit. Nothing graphic, but migraines be nasty.

(Side note: I guess these are kind of a mix between headcanons and drabbles, huh? Maybe I should combine them. Drabcanons? Headrabbles? I kind of like headrabbles.)

Lucifer: They hadn’t come down for dinner.

Usually, if they were planning on skipping dinner, they let at least one of the brothers know. But nobody had heard a sound from them after they had finished up their classes at RAD, and they weren’t answering texts or calls.

Lucifer climbed up the stairs leading to the second floor, already formulating a lecture. Tardiness would not be tolerated, neither at RAD or at home, it would reflect poorly on Diavolo if the exchange student suddenly developed a habit of skipping out of obligations, how dare they make him worry - 

He was just about to knock on their door when he heard a soft noise from inside. It sounded like a whimper.

He stilled, pressing his ear against the wood of the door. There it was again. Definitely a whimper, longer this time, laced with pain. His heart seized at the sound, and without thinking he stepped inside.

The human had burrowed beneath their blankets and had pressed a pillow over their head.If it wasn’t for the lights strung up along their headboard, Lucifer would have just assumed the human hadn’t made their bed.

They whined again, spurring Lucifer in to action.

He called out their name. “What’s wrong?”

A pathetic whimper was his only response, and he swallowed down the lump of panic that was beginning to rise in his throat. He crossed the room in three big strides before kneeling beside their bed. There was a small gap between the blankets and pillow, and he could see the way their brow was furrowed, how their eyes were squeezed shut, the thin sheen of sweat that shined over their skin.

As though they could feel his gaze, they cracked open eye and managed to groan, “Too bright.”

Lucifer flicked his gaze over to the soft lights strung up along their headboard. They were so low that even he had a hard time seeing anything in detail. If they thought those were to bright...ah.

“A migraine, huh?”

He didn’t bother waiting for the human’s strained “Mhm,” before reaching behind the night stand where the outlet was. Suddenly, what little light there had been was gone, leaving only the slight glow from the hallway.

“Better?” he asked softly, gently reaching beneath the pillow to wipe their sweat-drenched hair away from their face. 

“...Yeah...” they sighed, the crease in their brow easing slightly. “Thank you...”

“Of course.” Their eyes were already beginning to slip closed as he stood. “I’ll get you some water and let you rest.”

He was pretty sure they had passed out before he finished speaking. Which is why he allowed himself the small indulgence of placing a kiss on their forehead before he left.

Mammon: It seemed to come out of nowhere. One minute, they were walking through the halls at RAD killing time until their next class. The next, they were crying out like they had been stabbed, falling to their knees and clutching their head.

Immediately, he was beside them. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

They were trying to respond, he could tell, but all that was coming out were short, staccato breaths that ended on a pained moan. He could see tears welling up in the corner of their eyes.

A crowd was beginning to form around them. Curious whispers and hushed gossiping echoed through the hall, and Mammon instinctively scratched his claws along the marble floor to attempt to keep his cool.

They had mentioned something like this before, hadn’t they? That sometimes they got these blinding headaches that left them completely incapacitated for at least the rest of the day? 

“Hey,” he took their face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs soothingly along their jaw. Damn all the demons that had gathered around them, he had his priorities. “It’s okay, I’m right here, I gotcha.” 

He vaguely remembered them saying something about light sensitivity. Honestly, this probably wasn’t going to do anything, but he plucked his sunglasses from where they were hung on his uniform and slipped them over their face. “I’m going to get you to the Student Council lounge, okay? Can you walk?”

After a few deep, shuddering breaths, they managed to stand. Mammon didn’t liek the way they were swaying on their feet, however, so, with a click on his tongue, he scooped them up bridal style. The buried their face against the column of his neck without complaint, and that was when he knew they were really in pain.

“Everything’s okay, your first man’s gonna take care of ya.”

Levi: It was obvious the human wasn’t feeling well. They had their right eye squeezed shut, just barely watching the anime through their left. Every time Luminous-chan started her transformation scene, they were cringe at the sudden flash. He swore he even heard them whimper a little bit.

“Why are you still here?” wait, no, that came out wrong. “I-I mean, like, if you feel sick or something, we can watch it later. You’re not even really paying attention!”

They winced at the volume of his voice, and Levi internally cursed himself. “Seriously, go lie down if you feel sick. I don’t want your normie germs.”

Another bright, intensely colorful scene started, and Levi belatedly realized that he probably should at least pause it. 

They slumped their head against the back of the couch. They seemed to relax just a little bit without the noise. “Being in your room helps.”

“Eh?” Levi looked at them incredulously. “Why would it help?”

“The blue lights don’t hurt as much, and it’s nice and cool in here.” they muttered. “But I can leave if you really want me to.”

“N-No!” this time, both of them winced at his volume.

“You can stay here.” his voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ll just...use my headphones or whatever. You take a nap.”

Satan: With all the things that can go wrong with the human body, the species should have died out a millennia ago.

They were currently holed up in their room, trying to stave off the throbbing headache with Excedrin and sheer willpower. Satan, feeling particularly useless, was doing what he did best - research.

Obviously there were no books on human medical conditions in the Devildom, so that had led him to the internet.

“Aura? Migraines can affect your vision?” he muttered to himself, scrolling down further. “They can cause nausea? ‘May last up to 72 hours?!’“ 

No wonder the human wanted to be left alone. He would be in a foul mood too.

Asmo: “You know, I’m usually thrilled when my partner wakes up looking like they spent the night tumbling around, but something tells me this wasn’t nearly as enjoyable.”

They were a hot mess. Their usually neat uniform was rumpled, and they hadn’t quite been able to get the last button done right. Harsh, almost bruise-like bags stood out against their skin, which had taken on a sickly pallor. 

Joking aside, Asmo didn’t like how the human looked. “What’s the matter, darling?”

They plopped down on Asmo’s bed next to him, letting him fuss with their hair. “I definitely feel a migraine coming on.”

His fingers paused in their ministrations before beginning to massage gently at their scalp. “Poor thing, why are you even up?”

“Because Lucifer will flay me alive and use my pelt to decorate his office if I skip classes.” they shot back, and Asmo was glad to see they still had their snark even though they looked dead on their feet.

“Darling, it’s not skipping if your brain in trying to escape your skull.” he stood, running his long fingers through their hair one more time and quite enjoying how they leaned into the touch. “Now, let me take care of Lucifer, you get some rest.”

“Can I stay here?” they asked, rubbing at their temple. Asmo giggled.

“Well, I’m certainly not going to turn you away from my bed.” he flicked the lights off on his way out. “There’s an eye mask in the drawer next to the lube.”

Beelzebub: The two of them had a routine. Friday night, Beel would go to the gym, come home, and they would hang out in their room and watch so-bad-they’re-good horror movies until they fell asleep.

Since this was an every week thing, Beel didn’t even think to text them and tell them he was coming over. They usually left their door unlocked when they were home anyway.

There was no answer when he knocked, which seemed strange. They were usually here at this point. Maybe something had come up? But they would have let him know, surely. A frown tugged at his lips as he tested the doorknob. Unlocked.

Slowly, he opened the door, calling out to them. “Are you in here?”

A few seconds of silence ticked by. Beel was about to call again when he heard a gagging noise coming from their bathroom. He peered a little farther in and saw the light from the bathroom spilling into the room. They hadn’t even been able to close the door.

Concern washed over him, but he was pretty sure barging into the bathroom while they were sick wouldn’t help matters. He carefully shut the bedroom door behind him. “I’m coming in okay?”

“N-No, don’t -” another gag cut them off. Beel winced in sympathy as he entered the bathroom.

The sight made him want to cry. They were clinging onto the toilet, half slumped to the floor. Their pajama shorts were all twisted around, and Beel could see red marks from where the human had been kneeling against the floor tiles. Tears were streaming down their cheeks as they took deep breaths in an attempt to fight off the nausea.

Beel knelt down next to them, and they didn’t even have the energy to protest when he swept some of their sweaty hair out of their face. “Did you eat something bad?”

They shook their head, then squeezed their eyes shut. “No...it’s a migraine.”

Beel frowned. “I thought migraines were headaches.”

“They make you nauseated, too.” they muttered, reaching up to flush the contents of their stomach down the toilet. “Sorry, I should have let you know...”

He placed a large hand on their back and they sighed, letting his presence stabilize them. 

“It’s okay.” he said, rubbing small circles along their spine. “Isn’t there a drink that helps with upset stomachs?”

“Ginger ale.” they supplied, voice going a bit hoarse. “I’m pretty sure they don’t have it in the Devildom, though.”

“There might be some at that convenience store near The Fall. I could go check.” he stood up, almost instinctively reaching down to scoop them up before pausing. “Do you still feel sick?”

“No, it’s passing. I’m just super tired.” they reached out towards Beel, and he proceeded with the scooping.

“I won’t be long.” he promised as he deposited them on the bed.

“Don’t get distracted by all of the yummy snacks, okay?” they teased, and he smiled a little.

“I make no guarantees.”

Belphegor: He could practically see the irritation rolling off of them.

Movie night was always a garbage fire, but tonight was particularly bad. It had been nearly an hour and they were still arguing over what movie to watch, Mammon and Asmo had nearly come to blows, and Beel was sitting on his own island of pop cans and empty bags of popcorn.

Usually, they found the brothers’ antics amusing, but tonight, Belphegor saw murder in their eyes. And as much as he would delight in seeing his big brothers get fucking wrecked by a human, dealing with the cleanup would be a complete hassle.

“Are you feeling okay?” he leaned in to whisper. They blinked hard a few times, trying to clear their vision.

“I already felt like I was going to get a migraine,” they gritted their teeth as they spoke. “But this definitely isn’t helped.”

Belphie hummed in agreement. “Yeah, I can’t imagine it is. Think they’ll notice if we bow out?”

There was the sound of glass shattering as someone threw a couch pillow and either missed horrendously or hit precisely what they were aiming at. It was hard to tell.

“I think we’ll be fine.”

Chuckling, Belphie grabbed their hand and led them out of the living room. Of course the only one who saw them was Beel, and Belphie merely made a shushing gesture and nodded his head towards the staircase. The older twin nodded and went back to his munching without any fuss, bless his big, fluffy heart.

The human trudged after Belphie, already worn out. They walked past their room, so they assumed they were going to the twins’ room. But they passed that too. 

“Belphie, where are we going?”

He stopped them at the base of the attic stairs. “Someone will just barge in if we go to one of our rooms. Nobody will think about up here, though.”

If their head wasn’t pounding, they would have asked if Belphie was okay going back into the room that had basically been his prison cell for a year. But, their head was pounding, and they didn’t have the energy to question his logic. So up to the attic they went.

It was blissfully dark in the attic. Belphie yawned as he made his way over to the bed and flopped down.

“Come on, I think we both need a nap.”

“It’s late, isn’t this just going to bed at this point?” they wiggled into bed next to Belphie anyway, snuggling deeper into the blankets as he hugged them close.

“The human doth protest too much. Shut up and go to sleep.”

Diavolo: It was irrational, he knew. The human had a migraine, not the Black Death. But still, worry and uncertainty chased each other around his skull like rabid beasts until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Lord Diavolo?” Lucifer looked shocked to see him as he entered. “Did we have a meeting for tonight?”

“No, no, don’t worry.” he grinned. “I heard our little human friend had to leave RAD early due to a migraine, and I wanted to see how they were feeling, is all.”

Lucifer raised one delicate eyebrow, and Diavolo knew he was blushing. He had grown rather attached to the human, probably more than he should have, considering the circumstances.

“They’re resting right now.” he nodded towards the stairs. “I’m not sure it would be wise to disturb them.”

“Disturb who?”

Both demons turned to look as the human came out of the hallway that led to the kitchen. Aside from their sleep-heavy eyes and the occasional roll of their neck, they looked just fine.

“Oh, Lord Diavolo!” they smiled.

“Well, you look much better than this afternoon.” he hoped the relief in his voice wasn’t too obvious. Based on the look Lucifer shot him, it was.

They nodded. “That medicine you gave me worked wonders! Better than anything I ever took in the human world. Thank you so much.”

“Think nothing of it.” his grin softened into something warm, something he knew was professionally inappropriate to feel towards a human exchange student. “I’m glad I could help.”

[luckcycler]

hi! i know you have a info page (or whatever it's called) for your characters butt doesnt work on mobile? anyways i wanted ask if you could tell me what ultimate talents they have?

Huh…

Not sure how invested you are with how you phrased your question but I just copy-pasted all the info on this ask.

I’ll put it under read more because otherwise, it will be super long

Basic info:

Heartbreak is a story of 16 former students of Hope’s Peak Academy who have found themselves locked in the bizarre setting of a love hotel. And thus, a new exciting killing game takes place once again!

As the concepts of guilt and justification clash together inside the sickeningly pink walls of the hotel, one starts to wonder who exactly is the morally righteous one?

And to shake things up… a new rule has been added to the monopad.

The cast:

Aino Inoue

Former Ultimate Mermaid

Age: 20

Class:75-B

Blood type: O

Likes: Long Walks on the Beach, Astrology

Dislikes: Sand

It’s time for opinions! Meaning opinions from this woman! This is Aino Inoue, the ultimate mermaid! Or more precisely a professional underwater mermaid actress. It appears childhood career dreams do come true! She became a very known underwater actress for her infectious charm and her ability to stay underwater for 9 minutes without breathing.

Her attitude towards others is very straightforward but that doesn’t mean she is unfriendly, actually quite the opposite and especially if she is under the liquid courage. What’s personal space? She certainly doesn’t know.

Aino is a very nosy person and loves to give relationship advice to other people, even when these other people really don’t want it. It doesn’t help that quite a lot of these advices come from her obsession with astrology and blood type personality theory.

She can also be seen more often than not with a cocktail in hand to a point her constant state of tipsiness worries some of the others. In Aino’s opinion, it just makes her twice as fun!

Daisuke Okamoto

Former Ultimate Robot Combat Champion

Birthday: May 25th

Age: 19

Class: 76-B

Blood type: B

Likes: Logic Puzzles, Memes

Dislikes: Raisins in Bread, Academic writing

Here comes the local memester! Daisuke Okamoto is the current robot combat champion. But despite his promising career path in the art of mauling battle robots and much to everyone’s bafflement. After his time in Hope’s Peak, he went to study engineering at his local university. He refuses to tell why he had such a change of heart even when he still regularly competes.

Daisuke is a second-generation immigrant with his mother being American and father being Japanese. Because of this, his sense of humor is influenced a lot by western internet culture. He tends to joke around a lot giving him a carefree attitude. He loves to entertain, although in serious situations his joking nature can come off as insensitive.

But under all the jokes and terribly outdated meme’s, he is very intelligent and a hard realist who wants to know every detail of the rules and isn’t afraid to ask them from Monokuma.

Gina Higanbana

Former Ultimate Biochemist

Birthday: October 31st

Age: 23

Class: 72-A

Blood type: B

Likes: Poetry, Family

Dislikes: Frankenstein (Story), Sour Plums

Speaking of eccentric mad scientists! Gina Higanbana, the ultimate biochemist is the sort of person who definitely befriended every monster under her bed when she was young. Gina is a boisterous workaholic which has paid off since she is known most for her study of parabiosis. Unfortunately, not all of her fame is from positive feedback, as some of her testing methods have been found very unorthodox…

Gina presents herself as larger than life, after all, she is a woman of science! Though she delves with modern problems, her way of talking is very old fashioned, and even poetic, making her sound like she would fit right into a 19th-century romance novel.  

While being a semi loud presence to the group, Gina tends to withdraw to her own space and has trouble talking about subjects outside of her interests. But when it comes to teaching neighbor kids how to turn a volcano eruption experiment into a baking soda canon, she is the right person to tag along.

Hotaka Muramaru

Former Ultimate Florist

Birthday: January 27th

Age: 22

Class: 73-B

Blood type: A

Likes: Frogs, Bellflowers

Dislikes: Kiwa Fukuda

Hotaka Muramaru, the former ultimate florist… Well, a former florist, really. He isn’t doing too hot in his life at this moment. These days he mainly does gardening work around his area. It is unfortunate as he was known for his striking floral arrangements and attention to small details before his family’s flower shop business went down.

Hotaka as a person is very forgiving by nature. He doesn’t like causing conflicts and it is very hard to get him angry. Despite these positive traits, he seems to be nice for the sake of being nice which makes it hard to get close to him in a way that matters outside of everyday small talk. It seems preserving what little image he has left is more important to him. This has also made him quite the perfectionist.

Kana Nakano

Former Ultimate Lifeguard

Birthday: May 2nd

Age: 25

Class: 70-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Children, Geocaching 

Dislikes: Spontaneous Plans

Kana Nakano, the ultimate lifeguard is very passionate about her job. She is the mom friend of the group you know you can always rely on in any hardships, niche killing games included.  She has become a very popular lifeguard at her local kids’ poolside as she has a knack for talking to children. Though because of this her way of talking can sound very condescending when speaking to other adults. She tends to simplify her words and soften the meaning much to some of the group’s irritation.

As a person, she can also be very stubborn until she meets her goal. If nothing else, she makes a great leader figure with a lot of survival abilities and experience in tough situations.

Katsurou Furusawa

Former Ultimate Hunter

Birthday: September 5th

Age: 23

Class: 72-A

Blood type: A

Likes: Sewing, Peace and Quiet

Dislikes: Wet Socks, Attention

This timid yet patient boy who looks like he just crawled out of a swamp is Katsurou Furusawa. Though he doesn’t like talking about his talent that much, he is known as the ultimate hunter. He got his title for his exceptional trap making skills and the ability to stay unmoving for hours to no end, blending to his environments seamlessly, and waiting for a pray to trigger his traps.

Personality-wise, Katsurou is bashful and likes to talk to himself rather than others. He has a tendency to be a people pleaser, disregarding his own beliefs and feelings on topics just to appease both sides of the argument. He was never a problem child, as he has always done what his parents told him to. Even accepting the invitation to Hope’s Peak was not his idea.

Katsurou is also a huge daydreamer. He seems to be more comfortable with the world inside his head than the real world, and it shows.

Kiwa Fukuda

Former Ultimate Scapegoat

Birthday: December 31st

Age: 23

Class: 72-B

Blood type: AB

Likes: Citrus Fruits, Tacky Decorations

Dislikes: Paper Cuts

Though she looks quite sporty, her talent is far from a healthy career. This awkward and accident-prone woman is Kiwa Fukuda, our protagonist. Unfortunately to some, she is known as the ultimate scapegoat, though this information is confidential especially in court. Her line of work is basically taking the fall for a singular person’s or even a whole company’s mistakes. If that’s not deemed realistic, she will direct the fault towards a more suitable candidate. The amount of guilt Kiwa’s work as a scapegoat leaves her with has made her desensitized and apathetic towards others.

Personality-wise, Kiwa is laidback and can come off as an airhead thanks to her apathetic demeanor towards their current situation. She tends to joke about terrible subjects that make people around her a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

Kiwa is also clumsy and tends to get involved in accidents without trying to. Be it an injury, a misunderstanding or a terrible accident, it’s easy to assume she always has something to do with it whether it was her fault or not. Kiwa now wears a bicycle helmet all the time to make sure she won’t get a third fracture on her skull.

Kohaku Iwatomi

Former Ultimate Gemologist

Birthday: June 4th

Age: 19

Class: 76-B

Blood type: O

Likes: Shiny Things, DIY

Dislikes: Loneliness

This is Kohaku Iwatomi and he is happily ready to talk your ears off! Kohaku is known as the ultimate gemologist, mainly because he changes his specialty in gemology quite often, always wanting to try out something new. He seems to excel in all the areas he has tried out so far through pure dedication and excitement towards his profession. Though, for some reason, he has been working as a gem appraiser in his local pawnshop for longer than his peers thought he would withstand to.

Kohaku is a very cheery young man who loves to mingle no matter the topic. If you know him, you probably know his whole life story. He doesn’t like silence, nor does he bode well if left alone for too long. He isn’t narcissistic though as he is very empathetic and wears his emotions on his sleeve, he just really likes company and he has so much information to share with everyone!

Kohaku also has a liking towards thrift shop clothes and DIY projects hence his striking and pretty mismatched appearance.

Masami Kiyokane

Former Ultimate Croupier

Birthday: July 17th

Age: 22

Class: 73-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Board Games, Philosophy of Ethics

Dislikes: Alcohol

As if there were not enough party poopers in this group… This is Masami Kiyokane and he is known as the ultimate croupier. He got his title through diligent croupier work at organized events and after coming of age, at established casinos. Masami also has gotten quite good at seeing who is cheating and he knows most card games by heart. He seems fascinated by game rules in general.

Masami’s personality is pretty uptight and passive-aggressive. His way of talking tends to be a colorful use of personification, especially when he is going on a tangent and complaining about something. Though he talks big, very rarely is his bite worse than his bark as he mutters under his breath before admitting he is in the wrong.

Masami has a very strong moral system he believes in. His rather judgmental attitude is unusual for someone who has a hobby of learning about ethical philosophy though and often he gets called a hypocrite for playing favorites. He is not very happy about that.

Mei Kaneko

Ultimate Phonologist

Birthday: March 21st

Age: 18

Class: 77-A

Blood type: B

Likes: Corvidae, Accents

Dislikes: Wasting Time

This young girl is Mei Kaneko. She is the youngest of the group as she is the only one still studying in Hope’s Peak. She should be set to graduate soon and she is more than excited to continue with her dreams towards a real working life as the ultimate Phonologist!

Personality-wise, Mei is very energetic and will give her all to any task at hand. She is also very loud and a bit of a daredevil. If you tell her to not push the red button, she will definitely push the red button.

Growing up, Mei’s neighborhood had always been surrounded by corvids. As she slowly got more familiar with them, she developed a fascination towards the crows that kept playing in her backyard. Mei had been studying dialects and languages since she was little thanks to her bilingual home and decided, quite abruptly, that her life work from then on would have to deal with establishing communication with corvids.

Nori Ikari

Former Ultimate Sailor

Birthday: December 8th

Age: 20 (?)

Class: 75-A

Blood type: AB

Likes: Folk Tales, Making Rope Knots

Dislikes: His Knee Brace

This theatrically boisterous man is Nori Ikari, the ultimate sailor. Believe it or not, he is as young as 20 years old, which has led some of the group to believe he is a vampire in disguise. Nori comes from a vast lineage of sailors of different ranks but all just as proud seafarers! Nori got his title as the ultimate sailor after recklessly making a week-long fishing trip alone in a trawler boat made for a crew of 10.

Nori tends to tell long tales of his ancestors which sound just bizarre enough that no one is quite sure if Nori is speaking the truth or not. To be honest, everything he says just sounds downright like a big fish story all the way down to his accent. Is this man real? No one has a good answer to that.

Personality-wise Nori can be pretty intense. He has a habit of making a bigger deal out of very normal things. Nori values honor and traditions and tends to get quite defensive if his integrity is challenged. And if needed, he might challenge you to a sword fight at a parking lot if he deems you need a fair ass kicking.

Okemia Momose

Former Ultimate Opera Singer

Birthday: March 10th

Age: 24

Class: 71-B

Blood type: A

Likes: Vintage Aesthetic, Home

Dislikes: Hope’s Peak, Luck

This nervous woman is Okemia Momose. It’s been a while since people have heard her sing, but she is still regarded as the ultimate opera singer. She got her title for her incredible range and her ability to hold a note for almost half a minute.

Nowadays though, her fame is shadowed by a traumatic event she went through in one of her performances. She was one of the performers at her local opera house which was run by a Yakuza family. However, there was a very strained turf war going on around the area that one day resulted in a shoot out at the opera house. Unfortunately to Okemia, she got caught in the crossfire and a bullet hit her temple. Though she survived, she got inflicted irredeemable damage to her brain which developed into a stutter.

Despite her towering over everyone with her height of a 6’5 feet, she is not very confident in herself. Okemia is a very high-strung person who tends to think the worst possible thing will definitely happen to her. Though she is nervous she has a lot of resentful opinions that are made from wise words

Shion Arai

Former Ultimate Figure Skater

Birthday: July 23rd

Age: 21

Class:  74-B

Blood type: B

Likes: Rhinestones, Straightforwardness

Dislikes: Cleaning, Bootlickers, Mornings

This person here is Shion Arai the ultimate figure skater! Under all the glitter, rhinestones, and an eccentric personality lies a somewhat kind-hearted individual who is willing to cooperate… as long as it doesn’t inconvenience them.

Shion got their title thanks to their impeccable ability to adapt and improve fast. They have won multiple competitions in their teen years despite starting the sport at age 12, which is considered quite late. After graduating Hope’s peak, Shion’s placement in the podiums has started to steadily drop. If asked about the slow decline of their career, Shion just shrugs nonchalantly, leaving it at that.

Shion identifies as nonbinary and they are very prideful towards their identity and their achievements. Despite this, they are also incredibly lazy and rarely bothers to do something they don’t want to. Their goal is to go where the bar is the lowest and if that’s not possible, they WILL complain.

Suzu Nagahashi

Former Ultimate Ballerina

Birthday: November 1st

Age: 21

Class: 74-A

Blood type: A

Likes: Rainy Days, Leather Jackets

Dislikes: Dancing

This cold and assertive young lady is Suzu Nagahashi, the ultimate ballerina and she is not here to get herself killed over some dumb motive. Suzu has been known for her skills all her life. Rumor has it her mother, a former ballerina, started teaching Suzu how to dance the moment she was able to take her first step. Absolutely no one was surprised when she got her invitation to Hope’s Peak, though she rarely showed up to school thanks to her harsh performance schedule.

Suzu is very stoic and she picks her words carefully. Though her tone of voice is very serious, her pink frilly dress makes her attempts to be taken seriously harder for her. Luckily Suzu is stubborn and will try her utmost best to keep the situation she has been thrown in solely under her control.

Tetsu Asukaze

Honorary Ultimate Taxi Driver

Birthday: October 1st

Age: 26

Class: N/A

Blood type: AB

Likes: Radio, Coffee, Extraterrestrials

Dislikes: N/A

This funky young man is Tetsu Asukaze and he is known as the ultimate taxi driver. Who would’ve thought that was a talent, huh? Tetsu’s situation as an ultimate is a bit different from others because he only discovered his talent after getting old enough to drive which meant his high school days were already over. Despite this, Hope’s Peak decided to give him an honorary title of an ultimate taxi driver. Whatever that means…

Even though Hope’s Peak had given a public acknowledgment of Tetsu’s talent, he doesn’t think much of it nor does he feel he really belongs with the other ultimates.

Personality-wise, Tetsu is your serene local cryptid whose life has no order and looking at his sleeping schedule it’ll stay like that. Despite his harmless chaos, he is a very sweet lad with a passion for the unknown and obscure theories.

Tsubaki Ito

Former Ultimate Mortician

Birthday: May 8th

Age: 24

Class: 71-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Medical History, Bad and Gory Horror Movies

Dislikes: Spirals

This unnerving and small woman is Tsubaki Ito, the ultimate mortician. She was born as a miracle child to an old couple that ran a mortician family business. In fact, everyone in her extended family is at least a generation older than her. As the years went by, her family slowly passing away from natural causes had become a regular occurrence.

Tsubaki is specialized in body restoration and desairology, as she tends to work with victims of causalities. She got her title by her ability to make even the worst of murder victims to look like they are merely sleeping in their caskets.

As the concept of death is an old friend in her family, Tsubaki has become desensitized towards the subject and can come off as insensitive towards the killing game. But what can you do when your daily routine occasionally includes pulling out a chainsaw from someone’s chest cavity due to a gruesome accident?  Despite this, Tsubaki is very sweet and will address everyone with an endearing tone.

[parkliet]

Dear anon that called me a coward. I am not, fuck you. //lh

*green was answered by Wei, Red by Harley, Blue by eirynn, Pink by aydi. Sorry if it’s confusing.

1. Is there a boy/girl in my life? There is someone in aydi’s life.

2. Think of the last person that hurt you? Do you forgive them? Yes, I know I actually shouldn’t but I do.

3. What do you think of when you hear the word meow? I’ll meow back because I want too.

4. What’s something you really want right now? A beer and some love 😭

5. Are you afraid of falling in love? Yes, because it involves vulnerability and sappy stuff and I hate that.

6. Do you like the beach? Kinda, it’s not bad.

7. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? Yes and I hated every minute of it.

8. What’s the background on your cell? The lockscreen below. The Home Screen is none of your business.

9. Name the last 4 beds you sat on? Mine, aydi’s ex’s, xyr brother’s and a friends.

10. Do you like your phone? Well if I say no I sound spoilt but I wouldn’t mind better y’know...

11. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? No, I hate everything and need death :/

12. Who’s the last person you added to your contacts? A friend from school, he found my number and I dunno how.

13. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler

14. What hurts more, physical or emotional pain? Depending on what’s going on, currently it’s emotional pain being a bitch.

15. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? All I want is a date at an art museum ;-;

16. Are you tired? Absolutely exhausted

17. How long have you known your first contact? Since January 2019

18. Are they a relative? No, school friend.

19. Have you ever considered getting back with an ex? No but *some people* have and I personally find it annoying because the ex is a jerk.

20. When was the last time you talked to the person you shared a kiss with? ...yesterday

21. If you knew you had the right person would you marry them today? I don’t see why not, sure.

22. Would you kiss the person you kissed last again? No, don’t think I would.

23. How many bracelets are you wearing? Currently 2.

24. Is there a certain quote you live by? “No”

25. What’s on your mind? This really big teddy bear i saw in the store, but I couldn’t get it and I’m sad 😢

26. Do you have any tattoos? Can’t get any yet but I really want a few!

27. What’s your favorite color? Pink and green

28. Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Do you want a date or sumn?

29. Who are you texting? Currently my Classmates

30. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes... why are all of these about kissing?

31. Do you ever have a feeling something bad is going to happen and it did? All the time bc nothing good happens

32. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes, quite a few

33. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? From what I hear recently, I’m gonna say yes.

34. Has anyone told you you have pretty eyes? Yes and it makes me melt each time.

35. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone else right in front of you? Not my problem, we’re not together so he can kiss who he wants.

36. Were you single last Valentine’s Day? No.

37. Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Yes

38. What do your friends call you? Whatever they want to at the time, I don’t care.

39. Has anyone upset you in the past week? Myself

40. Have you ever cried over a text? I do that a lot.

41. Where’s your last bruise located? My face, under my eye.

42. What is it from? I’d rather not say.

43. Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really badly? All the time when I have to be with people who don’t give me space.

44. Last person you were on the phone with? I don’t make calls so the last person I texted was a friend.

45. Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? Heels/boots make me feel good.

46. Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Yea if it’s necessary or it’s a cute hat

47. Would you ever go bald if it was in style? No, I love my hair too much.

48. Do you make supper for your family? No but I can cook if need be

49. Does your bedroom have a door? Yes

50. Top 3 webpages? Tumblr.com, picrew and Pinterest

51. Do you know anyone that hates shopping? My friends like shopping but hate shopping with me bc I wanna go to every shop.

52. Does anything on your body hurt? Everywhere (not even joking) currently it’s my left arm that hurts the most

53. Are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on the person really, if you were a bully or just a bad person I won’t miss you.

54. What’s the last Beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee

55. How is your hair? Currently curly and not set properly so my bangs look uneven ;-;

56. What do you usually do first in the morning? Lie there for a few minutes, cos I’ll probably still be tired.

57. Do you think 2 people can last forever? Yes, if they are happy with each other.

58. Think back to January 2007, we’re you single? I was 9 months old so yeah...

59. Green or purple grapes? Both suck

60. When’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? As soon as I can without the chance of death.

61. Do you wish you were somewhere else rn? Probably somewhere quiet

62. When will be the next time you text someoone? Later today bc time zones

63. Where will you be 5 hours from now? Still at home, maybe the store idk

64. What were you doing at 8 this morning? Still sleeping

65. This time last year can you remember who you liked? An ex I think, not sure

66. Is there a person in your life that always makes you smile? Yes, the tumblr mutuals

67. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No

68. What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? “Ow my fucking head” after hitting it while trying to get comfy at 4am

69. Have you ever tried your hardest then get disappointed at the end? Yeah, happens a lot and sucked every time

70. How many windows are open on your computer? I’m on mobile but 16 tabs are open rn.

71. How many fingers do you have? 10

72. What’s your ringtone? Whatever’s the iPhone default

73. How old will you be in 5 months? I don’t know how old I am now but the body will be 15

74. Where’s your mum right now? Lol who?

75. Why aren’t you with the person you first loved or almost loved? If you are talking exes, then it’s because we weren’t happy

76. Have you held hands with someone in the past 3 days? No

77. Are you friends with the same people you were with 2 years ago? Sort of

78. Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? No

79. Do you know anyone with the name mike? Nope

80. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms? Yes because I sleep in class a lot and my classmates let me

81. How many people have you like in the past 3 months? Between all of us, 3

82. Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 days? No, or I hope not

83. Will you talk the person you like tonight? Hopefully

84. You’re drunk and yelling at hot people from your car, your with? All my guy friends bc I’m more likely to get drunk with and I’m more comfortable doing weird stuff with them.

85. If your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? I mean I would prefer them to not but honestly it’s their life in the end. I would try to help but if I can’t stop it it’s not my problem, it would also be kinda hypocritical of me

86. What was the most eventful thing that happened when you went to see a movie? Can’t remember

87. Who was your last received call from? A missed call from my friend, I texted her back tho

88. If someone gave you $1000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? ...yeah

89. What is something you wish you had more of? Love

90. Have you ever trusted someone too much? Sadly yes

91. Do you sleep with your window open? No

92. Do you get along with girls? Yes, if they’re nice

93. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I’m not exactly sure if they need to know

94. Does sex mean love? Absolutely NOT, lol just bc someone is horny and wants to sleep with you, doesn’t mean they love you

95. You’re locked in the room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Not really

96. Have you ever kissed someone with a lip ring? No but I did kiss a guy with a tongue stud...

97. did you sleep alone this week? All except one day, or was that last week...

98.do you have someone who makes you happy?Yea I guess

99. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, not really actually

100. Who was the last person you pinky promised? A friend

[blackmissfrizzle]

Hot for Teacher part 3

Title: Hot for Teacher part 3

Characters: Steve Rogers x black!reader

Summary: The reader and Steve finally have their date

Warnings: Pre-smut, creepy dudes, and a long ass chapter and no keep reading cuz its mobile

A couple of drinks after your little performance, everyone decided to call it a night and went home. Well everyone except Shantae, she went home with Sam. Steve offered to take you home, but you declined his offer but you told him you would text him when you got home.

As soon as you entered your home, you texted Steve that you made it because if you didn’t, you surely would’ve forgotten.

“Texting Rogers you made it home,” a familiar voice from the shadows asked.

You dropped your keys into the bowl by your door and sighed. “You can’t just text me if I made it home safely like a regular dad?”

Nick Fury never did anything like a regular dad, except the fussing part. You remember the whoopings you used to get because you decided to be a smartass.

Your dad let your pet cat, Goose down, emerged from his seat and gave you a hug. “I’m not a normal dad, sweetie.”

“I’ve noticed. What are you doing here so late, old man? I hope you don’t want a report on my night with Steve.”

Your dad let you out of his embrace and returned to the couch. “No, I’m not even worried about Rogers. Now if you were going out with Stark, we would have a problem. I’m praying that this thing with Rogers work out. Your mama is already planning your wedding and for her future grandkids.”

You threw a pillow at your dad. “You told mama about Steve!?” You slinked down the couch in despair, your mom’s been bugging you about kids since you were an only child. She didn’t care if you got married, she just wanted grandkids.

“You know she’s a better investigator than I am. I couldn’t lie to her.” Its true, no one could lie to your mom, she had a knack for getting to the truth. “Anyways, I’m here to officially recruit you,” your dad stated as he slid a manila folder towards you.

Inside of the folder were photos of a local gang leader, Terrence and he recruited a lot of kids that go to your school. He truly was a menace to society. He didn’t care who got hurt as long as money was lining his pocket. As you went through more photos, you saw Terrence with an older gentleman.

“The older guy with Terrence works for Ghost, a terrorist who probably has done as much as evil as HYDRA. I know you got a couple of students connected with Terrence. I need you to find out what Terrence has planned with Ghost.”

On occasion, you were known to get involved with your students’ personal lives if they were in trouble. One instance, you fought in an underground fight club match so your student wouldn’t have to, but that was different. Your dad wanted you to work for SHIELD in an official capacity and that was big deal.

You pinched your nose, “This is a one-time thing. And I’m only doing this for the kids.”

Knowing that he won, your dad broke out into a shit-eating grin that few people got to witness. “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll have Hill send you a briefing within the next 72 hours and you’ll report to me on Saturdays. Now I’ll see myself out.” He gave you a kiss on the temple on his way out.

Great, in the same night you landed a date with Steve Rogers and became a SHIELD agent.

The following days you and Steve were texting and talking non-stop. Sometimes it was silly stuff about the stuff he missed while he was in the ice. At least he knew about the greats like, Marvin Gaye and Aretha, but you had to put him on Beyoncé and the masterwork of Lemonade. Other times you would talk about more serious stuff like, his time in the army or you training as a super spy as a child.

One day, Steve actually stopped by your school during your planning period to bring you lunch, since you told him earlier that you didn’t eat anything that day, because you were so busy. Even though, you couldn’t talk to him because you allowed some students to come for a tutoring session, he stayed and helped you by grading some papers. You were convinced that Steve was angel and you were praying that everything would work out.

Friday came before you knew it, but the day dragged on. Somehow, your students found out that your date with Steve was that night and they teased you all day long, especially since they could sense you were anxious. When 3:30 stroked, you practically ran out with the students and sped out the parking lot.

Arriving home in record time, you decided to try and take a nap, because if you stayed up you would’ve gotten ready early and been a nervous wreck. The week must’ve caught up with you, because you had no trouble taking a nap.

—

Soon, you found yourself knocking on Steve’s door at exactly 7pm. He invited you over for dinner and the dance lesson at his place, because when he went out in public people typically recognized him and asked for pictures and he didn’t want to subject you to that invasion of privacy yet.

The breath was knocked out of you when Steve opened the door. He had on an apron over a blue Henley and black jeans, and you didn’t know if it was the domesticity of the apron, the tightness of the Henley, or a combination of both, but you had a hard time stopping yourself from jumping Steve’s bones.

“Hey, come on in.” Steve waved you inside and pulled you into his warm embrace. He smelled like the food he was cooking and his cologne, and you wanted to drown yourself in that scent.

“I like your place. Its comfortable and welcoming.” Your eyes wandered Steve’s apartment. It didn’t feel like the typical bachelor pad. He had photos of his old and new friends placed decoratively, a record player, and a couch that made you sleepy from just looking at it.

Steve grabbed your purse and jacket to put them in a chair in the corner. “Thanks. Tony had Pepper come and decorate.”

The smell of the food had you gravitating towards the kitchen. Before you had a chance to look in the pot, Steve is pulled you towards him and shuffled you to a seat at the dinner table. “No peeking,” he jokingly reprimanded you.

You kissed your teeth in disappointment. “That’s not fair. I just wanted to see what was causing my stomach to growl. I should warn you Rogers, I don’t play about my food.”

Steve gave you a deep belly chuckle as he came back to the table with two plates. “Duly noted.” He set before you a plate of shrimp alfredo pasta, one of your favorite dishes. Steve Rogers was really pulling out all the stops if he kept it up, he might just get lucky, you thought to yourself.

As dinner began the two of you made small talk. You talked about how you had to stop a fight between two of your students, because Lyric stepped on Diego’s shoes and then they began arguing about how the other were too broke to afford good shoes. The joke was on them because, both of their Jordans were knockoffs but you didn’t have it in you to break their hearts. Steve told you how Tony caused the electricity to short-circuit during making a new suit.

“Okay Rogers, enough stalling! Its time for your dance lesson,” you announced at the end of dinner. You backed out of your seat and stood by Steve and reached out for his hand.

He grimaced and regretfully placed his hand in yours. “Promise you won’t make fun of me?”

To soothe his nerves, you kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear, “I promise.” It was definitely not the kiss that calmed him down, that made him more nervous, but it was the smile that you gave him while you looked into his eyes that did calm him down.

Steve scrolled through his phone until he selected the song he wanted, and then the bluesy guitar riffs of Tennessee Whiskey began to fill the room.

“Ohhh, you wanna learn how to two-step,” you joked.

The super soldier smiled and down casted his eyes to the floor. “Yeah, you did say you love country and the dance seems easy enough, but,” he held up his hand in objection. “I don’t think I’ll be ready for any twirls or lifts.”

It was your turn to give a belly-out laugh. “You’re that bad, huh?”

Steve pulled you into him and swayed the both of you side-to-side. “You’re about to see,” he whispered into your ear.

His dancing wasn’t so bad, but then again you two were only doing a basic slow dance. Confident that he could start doing the two-step, you instructed Steve that he had to take two steps forward and one step back.

After his failed attempts and a couple of stubbed toes, you took the lead to demonstrate how Steve should lead. You took the lead before with your friends, but this time was different because first, Steve obviously wasn’t a female and second, you felt smaller than your dancing partner.

“I think I got the hang of it now. I can lead if you want me to.” Steve commented after you being in the lead for fifteen minutes.

“Are you sure?” Instead of verbally responding, Steve took charge and he was much better than he was at the beginning of the lesson. He would stumble every so often and mumble ‘shit, I’m sorry’, but other than that he was great. Steve even managed to end your last dance with a twirl.

Currently the two you were sharing dessert while sitting on his couch and listening to music.

“So how did I do, teach?” Steve asked between bites.

You nodded your head side-to-side in deep thought. “Umm, it was rough in the beginning. Like for the life of me, I don’t understand how someone who fights in life or death situations and still trips over their own feet while dancing. But you got it at the end and that’s all that matters.”

“True, but I couldn’t have done it without my wonderful teacher.” Steve’s voice dropped lower as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

The both of you sat there in silence while the sexual tension filled the room until it boiled over. You don’t know who made the first move, but suddenly you were in Steve’s lap exchanging kisses. Steve must’ve had some practice since 1945, because the things his mouth was doing to yours made you wonder if he could do the same thing to your lower lips.

Abruptly, Steve pulled away to stop kissing you. “Damn, I forgot to ask. Are you okay with this?” Wow, only Steve Rogers would stop making out just to ensure he had consent. At that moment you knew Steve would own your heart sooner rather than later.

In response, you assaulted Steve with your lips and he gave a growl of approval. He flipped the two of you so you were laying on the couch while he was on top. Both of you were exploring the other’s body, getting dangerously close to start undressing the other.

Your hands were reaching for Steve’s belt buckle when your phone started ringing. Steve tried to get you to answer it, but you were too wrapped up in the idea of seeing what Steve was packing under his jeans.

“Doll, I really think you should answer it,” Steve suggested as the caller called for the second time.

Angrily you reached for the phone and answered, “Hello.”

“Umm, Ms. Y/L/N this is Nia.” Quickly your attitude was gone and you were on high alert. You gave some of your students your phone number, because you knew they had some troubles at home and you told them to not to hesitate to call you if they were in danger or trouble. If Nia was calling she was in some serious trouble, because she always had this jokester/tough girl exterior thing going on.

“Nia, what’s going on sweetie?” Steve was automatically on alert as he heard you say your student’s name.

“Can you come by, please? My…my…my…my mmm-mom owes these guys money and they’re beating on her and I-II-III-I think they’re coming for me next.” The young girl stuttered through her tears.

You were already grabbing your things before Nia explained the whole situation. “I’m on my way. Just lock yourself up until I get there, okay.”

“I already did. Thank you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

As you gathered your things, you didn’t notice Steve was getting ready as well. “I gotta go. Nia’s in trouble.”

“No problem. I’m going with and I’m driving.” You didn’t have time to argue with Steve and you were grateful anyway, so you hopped on the back of his motorcycle.

Before you got to Nia’s apartment door you could hear the fight in the hallway and no one in the complex would go in help, but they sure did have time to stand in the hallway and listen. If you weren’t on a mission to save Nia, you would’ve cuss they asses out.

Finally, you and Steve approached the door with his shield on his arm and your sai in your hands. Giving each other a nod, Steve finally kicked down the door.

The two of you were greeted to the sight of two men, who looked like they belonged on someone’s defensive line beating on Nia’s mom, who was clearly a drug addict. Then another figure caught your eye. It was another man and he was trying to kick down the door that most likely held Nia behind it.

The two guys hitting on Nia’s mom made eye contact with the two of you and made one of the smartest decisions they made that night. They ran.

“I’ll handle that one and you go get those two,” you ordered Steve as you nodded your head in the direction of the door.

“Be safe!” Steve yelled as he ran out the door.

The other asshat finally stopped pounding on the door and looked you up and down with a mix of lust and mirth. “What? Are you the new diversity hire for the Avengers?”

“Ha ha ha. You’re a real comedian. Why are you beating on my student’s mom and trying to burst into her room?”

All of the laughter left his face and it was replaced by a mask of anger. “Because that druggie bitch,” he pointed his gun at Nia’s mom. “Owes my boss money and she refused to pay up so I thought a little fun time with that little ho she calls a daughter could be a down payment.”

Disgusted at the man’s sick plans for Nia, you rolled your eyes. “You thought wrong.”

“Oh, what you gone do about it?” Ole dude pointed the gun in your direction.

You let out a desperate sigh and rolled your shoulders. “Listen, you and your crew ruined my date so I’m already pissed. So, are you sure you wanna do this?”

He looked you up and down in contempt. “Am I supposed to be scared of you, teach?” That’s all the answer you needed. Next thing you did was throw one of your sai’s into the man’s gun and sent a flying kick to his chest, effectively knocking him out.

After you cuffed him to the dining table, you knocked on Nia’s door. “Hey, Nia, sweetie. It’s Ms. Y/L/N. You can come out now.”

Tentatively Nia opened the door, but once she saw you she bum-rushed you. You stroked the young girl between her puff balls as you held her while she cried.

“Thank you, Ms. Y/L/N,” Nia confessed between sobs.

“No problem, sweetie. Are you ok?”

Nia pulled away from slightly to look up at you. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry I ruined your date with Captain America.”

You grabbed the young girl by the shoulders and knelt down until you were eye level with her. “No, I’m happy you called. It means that you’re safe now.”

After calming Nia down, you checked on her mother and gave her a gentle but stern warning about using drugs. It seemed that the woman took it to heart, but God only knows.

Once you were sure that they were okay, you took the intruder to meet with Steve outside. He currently had the other two guys knocked out as well.

Steve pointed at the guy you were dragging. “You know you could’ve called me to get him.”

You shrugged your shoulders and gave a look of indifference. “Eh, I liked that he kept bumping his head on the stairs. And besides I need the arm workout.”

All three men were unconscious and you needed them awake. With no water on hand you had to kick them to jolt them awake, but it’s not like you felt bad about it.

A chorus of ‘what the fuck’ pierced the air as they awoke.

“Okay, this is how it’s gonna go. All three of you are now my bitches and work for me now and gonna be my informants. I need you to tell me about any information you have on Terrence and any business dealings he has with a Ghost. And if you don’t wanna comply or I feel that you’re jerking my chain, I’ll throw your ass at a SHIELD black site like that,” you threatened with a snap of your finger.

The douchebags were pissed off and wanted to say something, but one look at your face and they knew you weren’t playing. You had those Fury genes to thank for that.

Each grumpily agreed to your terms of conditions. Before they left you did threaten to cut off their balls if they attacked Nia and her mother or any other woman like that again.

—

When the two of you returned, you immediately apologized to Steve. “I’m sorry, I ruined your night. I’m sure you get tired of fighting and that’s exactly what you did on your night off.”

Steve reached out to you and placed a kiss on the back of your hands. “You didn’t ruin anything. Tonight was perfect and I like that you’ll drop anything for your students to help them out.”

“Thanks, everything was really great tonight. I hope we can do it again, but I should go. I have an early morning tomorrow.”

As you reached for the doorknob, Steve pulled you back and ask about turning the guys into informants. You informed Steve of you officially becoming a SHIELD agent to find Ghost through Terrence’s crew.

“I mean it’s only if you’re comfortable,” Steve scratched the back of his neck as a nervous tick. “But since it’s late and my place is closer to the tower, you could stay here for the night. But that’s only if you want to,” Steve hurriedly added on the last part.

Steve’s place was closer and he was harmless, you thought to yourself. “If you don’t mind, I would love to stay.”

The soldier was elated you decided to stay. He tried to give you his guest room, but you preferred to sleep in his bed with him.

Thankfully, you always had a go bag, so all you needed from Steve was something to sleep in.

When you emerged from the bathroom, Steve automatically grabbed a pillow to cover his hard on. He didn’t think he would have such a strong reaction to you wearing his shirt. Right at that moment he vowed that every chance he had, he would try to get you into one of his shirts.

“What are you staring at, pretty boy,” you teased, knowing full well Steve was staring at your curves.

Climbing into the bed and straddling his lap, you felt Steve’s erection. Deciding to be a tease, you rolled your hips around, which elicited a sinful moan from Steve’s mouth.

Promptly, Steve plopped you on the other side of the bed.

“What the hell, Steve? What’s that for?”

Suddenly, there was a shift in the air. Gone was the sweet and nervous Steve, but there was the confident and dominant Steve.

He gripped your chin and pulled your face closer to his.

“When I fuck you, you won’t be able to properly function for the next couple of days. And I doubt you want to accidentally call me daddy in front of your dad tomorrow, but if you do, then by all means let’s get to it.”

Steve was motioning to take off his shirt when you let out a meek, “I’m good.” You wanted nothing more than to be underneath Steve writhing in pleasure, but the way he may it sound you would be silly putty in the end and you didn’t need that your first day at SHIELD.

The blonde pulled his shirt back down and smirked at you. He kissed the side of your head and told you good night before he wrapped his arm around your waist.

Now you had to go to sleep hoping there wouldn’t be a wet puddle on the bed from your dreams of Steve screwing you silly.

Tags: @jojolu @ladyamandapanda12 @kashirenae92 @areubeingserved @dumbchick @wakanda-inspired @blacknthemix @pastelastronomy24 @chaneajoyyy @chonisberonica @everything-is-awesomesauce @blackreaders-assemble @nickidub718 @valkyriesnymph @marvelmaree @lildashofmelanin @cyrioussoul @destinio1 @toniilaney @euphoric05 @yoyolovesbucky @the-undecided-compass

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. I’d love to just be able to go to the beach and relax, but that won’t happen. That was the only place I could feel relaxed. Beaches have reopened, but the hours are limited and you can’t just sit/lay there like you used to be able to. You can only walk around. And anyway, the fact we’re still very much in the thick of this whole thing I don’t feel safe or comfortable going places yet or being around people. I wouldn’t feel relaxed at all. 

2. What color are your pants? I’m wearing black leggings.

3. Favorite motivational quote. Meh.

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I’m drinking a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, which as the can says is a “energy coffee beverage.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?   Ramen.

6. Favorite animal. Giraffes! <<< Aww, saaaame. And doggos. (:

7. Favorite song. I couldn’t just choose one favorite.

8. Last movie you watched? I’m completely blanking at the moment in regards to the last movie, but I’ve binged a lot of a couple shows on Netflix recently. 

9. Any turn ons? Nice smelling cologne. 

10. Any turn offs? Cockiness and arrogance.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, agoraphobia, tryphophobia.  

12. What are some meaningful movies?   Hmm.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? God and my family. Yep, I’m grouping my family cause I couldn’t just choose 2.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? Let’s be real- I won’t be doing anything.

15. When was the last time you read a good book? I’m almost done with one called, “Never Walk Alone” by Willow Rose.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? I spend about 20 minutes to an hour when doing my Bible studies. 

17. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) I like certain fruity and sweet ones, ones with patchouli, and beachy and autumnal scents from B&BW.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Those of us in this survey community live all over. 

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Probably that I have a bowl of ramen of every night.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? A series of unfortunate events <– Pretty damn accurate. Lmao. <<< Lol, I’ve made that joke before, too. I also find it quite fitting for my life.

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? Last month.

23. Are you a shopaholic? I was. My online shopping got out of hand the last few years, too. However, I’ve actually been pretty good this year so far. 

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? Upbeat and catchy songs help in the moment. Sad, emo, relatable songs can help as well, though. Sometimes just shouting along to “I’m Not Okay” saying, “I’M NOT OKAY, I’M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!” or something can feel good. ha. Need some good angst.

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. Surveys, reading, and listening to ASMR.

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? I don’t think I’d last long in any biome.

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Uh, I don’t.

28. How was your day? What did you do? It’s only about 330 in the morning, but so far it’s been fine. I’ve had my bowl of ramen, scrolled some through Tumblr, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR.

29. What did your last text message say? I sent my brother a TikTok video that reminded me of our doggo.

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? It depends.

31. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. I don’t knowwww.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I wouldn’t be famous. I’m not that special or talented. <<< Same. I don’t want to be famous anyway.

34. Winter or summer? Winter, HANDS DOWN.

35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy would be great.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? I already have a large collection of giraffe stuffed animals, books, key chains, and graphic tees. I don’t have room for more.

37. What have you been thinking about lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess with a lot of stuff that is always on my mind from my health, family, and just life in general. But this year has and continues to give me a lot to think about as well.

38. What is the secret to a happy life? Ha, you’re asking the wrong person.

39. What are some phrases you say often? I know I have my many “Stephanieisms”, but I always seem to blank when asked this question.

40. Favorite food? Ramen, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, spinach, and green onion, Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta salads, pesto pasta, deli sandwiches, and baked potatoes.

41. List 3 wishes. I feel like you’ve asked me this in different ways a few times now.

42. What are some of your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away...stuff like that.

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some stuff for the last Bible study I did.

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Beautiful beaches and mountainous areas. I went on a gondola last year that took us up over 9,000ft and the views were breathtaking. 

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, but I haven’t been able to eat it for a few years now due to some health reasons. It sucks. :/

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? I love ‘em. I used to be a big baby, but I did a complete switch a few years ago.

47. Do you like to travel? Yes.

48. Any regrets? I have a lot of those.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? It used to be food or clothes, but this year I haven’t been doing a lot of shopping. 

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? Hot Topic and BoxLunch.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? I’m always feeling down, so I’m not the one to ask about that either.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? The future terrifies me. My mind is more wrapped up in current and past stuff.

55. What angers you the most? Injustice and corruption.  

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? In my personal life, it’s been awhile since I’ve been angry. I get irritated and frustrated very easily, though.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? Sadness is one of my personality traits.

58. Are you good at lying? I used to be when it came to lying and downplaying about myself like with how I’m doing and really feeling, but my emotions took control. I still downplay and leave things out, but it’s obvious I’m not doing well. 

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I’ve been wanting to brush up and start practicing again. 

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak some Spanish.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I stay at home.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I’ve read several this year and I plan to read several more. 

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Nope. Very rarely these days since I sleep until like 3PM everyday. Sometimes I’ll have breakfast foods for a late lunch or dinner, though.

64. Tell us a secret. Nah.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Seven.

66. Last hug? My doggo. I haven’t hugged a person in months.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? You guys, probably. ha.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? I haven’t been for a long time... 

70. What song is stuck in your head? None at the moment.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Mexico. Besides my own, of course.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Understanding and low maintenance. 73. What helps you to sleep better? Listening to/watching ASMR can help. 

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1k.

75. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Hmm.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I always forgive but never forget. <<<

78. First mobile phone? A gray Motorola flip phone.

79. Strangest dream? I have a lot of those.

80. Best dream? Hmm. 

81. Who is the smartest person you know? My younger brother.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? All of you.

83. Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love my family. They’re my everything.

85. Do you like sharing? Sharing what?

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? Probably of my doggo.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? I believe so.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like variety. 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Nahhh.

91. Describe the world in 4 words. Nahhh.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m boring.

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I’m not checking right now.

94. Are you more creative or logical? Logical. I wish I was creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I mean, it kind of depends. If it’s something serious and they need to know, then I’d have to tell them even though it would be hard and could hurt them. 

96. What are you most proud of? I don’t feel proud of myself for anything.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Those who are driven.

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? I’m at the beach, just staring out into the ocean while listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling the cool ocean air on my face, breathing it in.

99. How do you usually start a conversation? I usually don’t, ha. But I suppose with a “hey” or something of the sort.

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? That it was all just a horrible dream. <<< Oh man. If only.

[prorevenge]

You try to cut my team in half so I outsourced your entire department.

This tale takes place over the course of many months and resulted in over 150 lay offs, all to save 22 IT Techs from losing their jobs.

I learned a long time ago that no one cares about the IT team at our company. They see us as "Those useless employees always complaining about rules."

We are a mortgage company, and those rules are the rules everyone follows to protect customer data privacy and to prevent theft. When your company suddenly loses 2 full payments for a house to some scammer in Nigeria and the FTC has questions for you, then it is time to change your policies.

This meant cutting legacy access, revoking unnecessary access, and correctly coding job titles in active directory to prevent people from granting their own access.

What this boiled down to was a meeting that I phoned into a year ago. This was one of those meetings where I did not need to be there. Budget meetings.

In this meeting the VP over the accounting department played a recording showing times when someone in the IT Tech team provided "sup par service." She tried using this as reason to fire half of the tech team.

The trouble was, that all of the people she played recordings of were already fired for giving terrible customer service. These people were replaced by 5 star techs who know what they are doing and give excellent customer service.

This started the whole chain of events that led to last week.

Since this meeting was every 2 months, VP has tried to use her position and influence to grow her team while shrinking ours.

Every budget meeting, I would show up and VP, who shall hence be referred to as Karen, would target my team. I would pull out the numbers, and pull out the logs showing how my team received a little over 3/4s of that team's call volume.

I show how my team of 22 techs personally receive more phone calls than every other inbound call employee by more than double the number.

I show how with the call volume we receive we still maintain a 98 percent satisfaction rating.

At the 3rd budget meeting the COO had been tired of "hearing the same excuses" and wanted hard data. He had a point. I was merely throwing out basic numbers without providing real data.

Our company was in the middle of a budget crisis and someone needed to be cut. These budget meetings were basically a way to defend our own department from the chopping block. Karen believed that the best defense was a good offence. She was right, but not in the way she thought.

When it became clear that the IT support team was on the chopping block, Karen starts to have her employees call into the tech center and have them make requests that she knows we can not assist with as that is handled by another company entirely. We are not able to transfer calls to an external line so the only thing we can do is give the number to call and hang up.

The negative CSAT's start to flood in after this. Every single call from that team regarding a vendor's password reset gets a negative csat. Our approval rating tanked to 72 percent in one day. I instantly took action.

First I contact a few of the users, on recorded calls, and ask them why they called the IT Tech team when they know we are not capable of resetting the vendor's password. She replied that she was told it was policy to do that now. I asked why she left a negative satisfaction rating and she said that those no longer count against the employee. That those are only used for macro metrics.

I walked over to Karen's office and walked in. "Karen, why are you having your team call mine to reset vendor's password?" Karen looked confused and stated that she did no such thing. She said she would talk to her team and make sure that they call the correct number in the future.

The calls did not stop. Now a few of her team were calling in with personal machines that were not an asset of our company. They were wanting things done which would violate license agreements with microsoft or dell. Each of these were refused and each of these were leaving negative CSAT.

It became clear that Karen was trying to tank our stats before the next budget meeting.

I let my boss know and he just gives me a sly smile. "The leash is off. Sick her." This is an inside joke between us as I am someone who is very detail oriented when I am focused. When you try and get my team fired because you want to grow your useless team, I am very focused on you now.

The first thing I do is enable call recording for every corporate employee as to not arouse her suspicions. Her team did not have call recording enabled because her team "handles CDP" on a daily basis.

I pull a live call and listen in.

"This is Employee with our company may I have your account number or your name?" The customer gives the name. "OK I have your account pulled up, are you wanting to make a payment?" Customer says yes. "Are you authorizing me to go ahead and make the withdraw from the bank account we have on file?" Customer agrees. "OK payment is processing. You will be notified in X days when it is complete. Your next due date is this date." The customer thanks her and he hangs up.

Entire phone call was 1:22. Short phone call so I listen to another. Similar situation. I listen to another and get the same thing. I start seeing a pattern here so I go through the rapidly building log and see that all of the phone calls are usually less than 1 minute and 20 seconds long. It takes well over an hour before an anomaly occurs and I see a 5 minute phone call.

The customer needed an extension and the employee was authorized to give her a 30 day extension to avoid a late fee if she would make a double payment next month. The person on the phone agreed.

At this point I also turn on the CSAT for her team only. I expected a largely similar rating as my team. I was not prepared for the nearly instant 50 percent rating that steadily dropped.

My boss comes over to my desk as he was getting the email notifications for the sub 75 percent csat rating and was flabbergasted at the sheer volume of negative reports.

Its now clear that there is no choice but to examine this further. I assign 4 people to review the negative calls from the other team and have them all. The amount of employees being downright rude to customers, not other employees but paying customers, over the phone was shocking. The negative tones in their voice, the unwillingness to fully answer questions, the extreme lack of empathy, and the shocking lack of mute button use was too much.

Then came another shocker. The number of customer facing employees was ridiculous. 152 employees to handle roughly 30 percent more calls than my team of 22.

I call the CIO.

$CIO - What you got for me?

$ME - I have something for you. Its incredibly evil, depressingly accurate, and can probably save the company a ridiculous amount of money.

$CIO - You know this is the second time you have said those exact words to me right?

$ME - Yup. But there is something I need to know first. I am not currently authorized to know it and I need to request it in a way that would not set off any red flags.

$CIO - What is that?

$ME - The starting pay scale for all account employees.

$CIO - Tell me your plan.

The next budget meeting was not a budget meeting. It was a IT Tech defend yourself meeting. The COO directed it and let Karen speak first.

Karen pulled out the same stuff as before. Calls upon calls to our group that were cherry picked as well as listing off dead zone times when we had people working but no one calling in. Then went on about how they could cut our group in half and hire more Account employees to reduce the workflow.

Instead of defending myself or my department, I played 4 of the short call recordings from Karen's department. I then pulled up the excel sheet that was color coded showing how many phone calls each account rep received and the length of time they were on. each call, and the customer satisfaction rating.

I explained the lack of high csat with my own little recording I liked to call a failtage. Its a montage of fail and her team were the stars. Before you ask, I did put music to it.

The recording starts off with an employee saying. "Yeah I guess I can take your payment." Then goes straight into one where a customer accidentally gave the wrong bank account info and said don't use that one. The rep responded with "Christ. What is the actual account number?" It only got worse from there.

This group was unmanaged for so long they were filled with rude and useless employees.

I then showed them a side by side comparison of each tech who received a call. I showed how my techs were receiving more than 4 times the number of calls, per rep, than her team was getting per day. I showed how we all were on the phone for well over 7 times the amount of time her team was on the phone for, and I demonstrated how each tech had double or tripple the satisfaction rating over all of her group.

Half the room that was uninterested in the conversation were suddenly interested when I closed out my presentation.

"In short, I saw no reason to defend the IT team today as I have successfully done so in every prior meeting. Since the last meeting, however, Karen has crossed the line and has had her team call mine in regards to things we have no access to."

I played the recording of me calling her minion. "As you can see here, she directed her team to call mine and to leave bad satisfaction ratings on my guys because of it. I have since deleted those CSAT's as they served no purpose whatsoever. " I then pulled out my next flowchart.

"This is the monthly expense, taken from the last 9 meetings, that our company spends on IT and Servicing departments." I look at the COO who was looking at me intently. "Before today I was on the defensive as I saw no reason to attack another group. But it is clear to me now that my team has a target on its back. That is why I now show you this."

It was a graph showing the starting pay scale for each IT and Servicing employee code as well as their average daily workflow. There was one glaring anomaly on this list. Account department had the highest starting pay scale with the least amount of work.

"So basically in laymen's terms, the Account department can reduced to one tenth of its current size, and we can reduce the pay scale to a little over one half as this department requires very little in the way of problem solving and critical thinking." I saw a few raised eye brows as well as one impressed smile from the CIO.

The COO ushers everyone out of the room except for me, my direct supervisor, and the CIO. He looked at me and said "Continue."

"Further, we can cut this department entirely and outsource THEM instead of IT. Since this group merely takes payments and sometimes allows extensions, we do not have to worry too much about technical ability. Outside of simply using windows we can hire high schoolers if we wanted to." This got a laugh from the CIO. Karen was staring through the window with this smug grin on her face the entire time.

"Now for my final bit for this meeting, I am going to play two cherry picked phone calls. These are the two most technical phone calls I could find from the last month for both departments."

I play a call where a payment fails to process and the rep realizes she typed in the wrong number.

I then play a call where it starts out with a user stating that her customer submitted a payment to the wrong CD. The tech breaks out into our procedure to prevent wire fraud. Thanks to the quick action of this tech we were able to reverse the CD and save this customer from losing their down payment.

The final masterful stroke was playing my final card. "As you all know, Karen has been coming after my team for months. She has been grinding her axe against us because she, like everyone else, has made the mistake that we are incompetent, inept, and useless to the company. What she did not know was that I have all of the logs showing the truth. The smoke she has been blowing for years is so thick that its ridiculous. Her team is highly replaceable and we both know my team would require extensive training and effort to replace."

The CIO spoke up. "With just 30 people, we can outsource her entire department and save the company millions a year. The next time we have a major IT issue, you will be regretting outsourcing us." He then pointed to the graphs and flow charts brought by both myself and Karen. "Her team is useless."

The next day I watched in pure joy as a term request came in for Karen. It came in with the double ** indicator at the beginning meaning this was a stealth term. To be done and coordinated with the person who will inform her of the termination. (Its not actually ** I changed that for here to protect identities.)

Over the next two months, the account team was shuttered. First they came for anyone with disciplinary issues or attendance issues. Then they laid off anyone who had been there a really long time. Then the newest employees.

The smart ones applied for other positions in the company or left before getting laid off. All the while the calls for payments were slowly shunted to the call center in India.

By the end of last week we only have 4 domestic accounts people who take escalations that the India call center is not authorized to take.

Do I feel guilty about being integral for 148 people being laid off? Yes quite. But I know it was necessary to keep my job and my health insurance. Without my health insurance I am a dead man.

The entire reason why this happened though, was because a division was slated to be cut and sent to India from the outset. Thanks to the actions of myself and my direct supervisor, we prevented it from being a sure thing that our team was going to get cut.

On top of that we cut out a festering wound in the company that was slowing it down and costing it money.

My team has not been brought up in the budgetary meetings since.

(source) story by (/u/TheLightningCount1)

[operationwell]

Reflections on Past Institutionalization

Today was the day that I knew would be coming. The day I would have to face, process, and differentiate between my past experiences in psychiatric facilities, and my future stays. I know that all of this doesn’t necessarily happen in one day, but rest assured - it is happening. 

5 years ago, In April of 2015, I entered a hospital in Schaumburg, IL at around 8pm. My Auntie had heard that this hospital offered free psychiatric evaluations, and we had planned to go and have a simple assessment where they could provide insight into which medications were hurting and which were helping my cause. About 6 weeks prior to this, I had been prescribed Celexa as an antidepressant and it caused my depression and anxiety to skyrocket beyond my control, and I became flooded with suicidal ideation. My doctor (the psychiatrist of every student on psych medications throughout my university) insisted that I remain on the medication for 6 weeks. As my symptoms worsened, he prescribed me Trazodone as a sleeping aid and Klonipen to help with my multiple panic attacks daily. As medications were thrown at me, my health worsened. I struggled with sleep disturbances (insomnia, night terrors, inconsistent sleep schedule), I lost weight (food quickly became unappealing on the medications, I had no appetite, I had difficulty eating as I would become nauseous and vomit during and after consuming food) and my health deteriorated. I stopped going to Yoga and working out multiple times a week because I was no longer functional enough to continue. My grades slipped and I received 3 “incomplete”s in my classes and had to finish my work months later for credit. I dropped my commitments to the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless, alongside many clubs and school groups. I was closeted from my family and all but 2 friends, I had recently broken up with my partner of 3 years. I was in therapy on my college campus, and nothing seemed to be working... so a free psych evaluation sounded like the right thing to do.

That day, I received an award from Loyola University Chicago School of Communications that I was their top student in the Advocacy and Social Change program. Little did the school staff know that within a few hours I would be Baker Acted. I got dressed up and invited my Auntie and 2 friends to the celebration. Like most days when the world feels like it is crumbling, I laughed and smiled and moved through the motions. Saying goodbye to my friends, I packed a weekend bag to head to the suburbs, this was typical seeing that my Auntie is one of my closet friends and mentors, and I frequently “ran away” to her guest room in order to escape my troubles. We agreed to go to dinner with my uncle and cousin, then go for the free evaluation. I pushed food around on a plate and I drank a Shirley Temple with my then 9 year old cousin, Dylan. 

I entered the hospital with Auntie late in the evening. I put in my headphones to listen to Bon Iver because my anxiety was triggered by the hospital environment. I filled out a form that asked two yes/no questions: 

Within the last 24 hours, have you had thoughts of killing yourself? Yes No

If yes, do you have a plan to kill yourself? Yes No

I circled yes for both.

I told myself that dishonesty was not going to get me the help I needed, so I told the truth. After I handed in that questionnaire, my hands were tied. No matter what I said in the clinical evaluation, they would legally have to keep me under the Baker Act. I tried to explain the ways that the medications I was taking were making it worse, how my anxiety and depression were related to trauma, but they were not interested in that. They were interested in protecting me from the threat of myself. The admissions staff informed me that I would be staying for the next few days in the hospital. When I protested and tried to leave, they threatened to call the police. I looked to my Auntie for guidance and she broke down saying “I am so sorry, I wouldn’t have brought you here if I knew they would take you from me”. My auntie is the light of my life and even though this experience was incredibly trying, I am so glad that she was there with me holding my hand and making sarcastic jokes throughout the process. She was, and continues to be, my rock and my safe space. Thank you, Auntie.

I was stripped of my clothes, searched, asked to squat and cough. I was brought into the adult ward with nothing besides the clothes I wore in, and a notebook. I was shocked as I finished the evaluation process - it was now the middle of the night. One of the night staff saw me enter my room and was intrigued because “I don’t look like the other patients in here” to which my response was “what should I look like?” we spoke about religion, and what my goals were; I shared with him my purpose - to bring peace to the world through advocacy, conflict resolution, and vulnerability. He was kind. He very well might have been an angel. But I am convinced he was real. He gave me a gift, and I still have it. A book about hope, religion, and peace. Inside the front cover he wrote “Be at peace and know that you are love”. When he left my room less than 30 mins later, I showered and got into my bed, I slept till the techs woke me to take my blood and I never saw that man again.

The next 72 hours consisted of sharing a room with an older woman who insisted on being naked 24/7 and caused plenty of problems in the ward, attending all-day therapy and coping skill development groups, trying to convince the doctors and nurses I was cured and able to leave, attempting to escape my parents worried calls, being constantly poked and prodded by nursing staff, commiserating with other patients (most of whom were much older than me), and coloring in mandalas and calling it “art therapy”.

During this stay, the psychiatrist kept my diagnosis of depression and anxiety and added “You need to watch out for Bipolar”. He immediately started me on Abilify, an antipsychotic, and after 3 days was convinced the Abilify helped enough to discharge me. I went straight to the pharmacy after my stay and found the medication was $116/ pill. The drug was new, did not have a generic at the time, and I could not afford that, so I discontinued the use of the medication. 

By this time, I am deeply concerning my parents and they have bought me a one way flight to South Florida for the summer after my sophomore year. I was planning on working at Boston College for the summer and spending my entire junior year abroad in the Philippines and Vietnam, but the international travel was not brought to fruition. My parents were hurt by my secrecy, terrified, and looking to help alleviate some of my suffering. They helped me to get to a psychiatrist that might be able to help with the medication situation, and he did. I was put on Zyrexa, an antipsychotic, and the next day the sun came out. I stayed on the medication for over 4 years, but it caused grueling side effects including excessive sleeping, sedation, mixed mood episodes, and extreme weight gain to name a few.

After I was institutionalized, I told myself that I would try whatever I could to avoid the trauma, the expense, and the repetition of my experience in the ward. I felt that while I was held there, I was a prisoner, I had no rights, I had no resources, and I had a one person support system. I never wanted to go back.

Now, I am in very different shoes. I have knowledge and information. I have an entire degree dedicated to better understanding mental health and the system, I have years of experience working clinically in the field, and I have an incredible support system. I am currently seeking treatment to titrate off all unnecessary medications, to stabilize my mental and physical health, and to work intensively with clinicians on sustainable coping mechanisms. This is not like before. 

Today I spent most of the day crying and wondering how I could possibly face being stripped of my agency and belongings again, being isolated from my supports again, and being forced to take medications without consent again. The answer that I found in my tears is that I don’t have to face that again. This new situation of seeking residential treatment is dredging up emotions and memories from my experience 5 years ago; but this is different. I am afraid, and I am allowing myself the grace to feel that fear and tend to it. As I care for myself I am also caring for my younger self, my self at 19, and at any other age when I felt alone, afraid, and out of options. Once I have done my tending, I am able to open my eyes and see that in the here and now I am surrounded by support, I am brave, and I am patient with my options. 

I am surrounded by love. I am love. I am at peace.

Here is something I created in 2015 while in the psych ward. All text is quotes of staff and peers during my 3 day stay.

[spongebobsins]

Everything Wrong With The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

(Full disclosure: I actually did this before on DA a few years ago, so this is a spruced up version of that post. It’s been updated with my current standards and some new jokes but isn’t totally different. Still, hope you enjoy)

1.Viacom

2.There’s a whole opening scene with pirates, yet Patchy is nowhere to be seen

3.This guy thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to step out of the way of the door before the guy came out.

4.Because this is a SpongeBob movie, I can ignore a lot of stuff here, but there are like 50 pirates here, and only like 6 tickets.

5.These pirates are making a huge rowdy mess…and yet if I was there, it wold still be one my better theater expereinces.

6.Wait, the movie within the movie just starts with no title? There’s s no title in the credits, which is part of the movie within the movie, so what kind of movie has no title in it at all?

7.Also, the screening just starts with no trailers?

8.Why wasn’t the manager here to begin with, if the place was open.

9.They seriously called the cops about the cheese? Can’t someone else just…put cheese on it

9.“Weird sound in dream turns out be normal sound waking them up” cliché.

10.It being a dream forgives a few sins…but it’s still a dream cliche so..

11. Let’s talk about the Krusty Krab 2. How could have a hugely popular restaurant, function for this only with only ONE in existence?

12 Also, at no point do we see them hire extra employees for the other  KK, there’s just a new manager, but there’s like 2 employees in this place besides Mr Krabs. …How did a place like this ever function with only two employees, anyway?

13.Spongebob has underwear in this shot, but when his pants…open up, he’s nude.

14.Also, Butt joke.

15.SpongeBob’s teeth should not be in good shape if he only brushes his eyes.

16.Even for SpongeBob, barging in Squid’s shower is…creepy.

17.There’s nothing under this rock so where did Patrick’s pants come from? 18.All this excitement over a place that has never been mentioned before now.

19.Wait, KK 2 is next to the first one? That’s really stupid.

20.”Lord knows I’ve tried” Which lord though? Is relgion a thing under the sea?

21/know Plankton doesn’t always have common sense, but he seriously has never heard of the letter Z?! Or at least he hasn’t seen that file clearly there.

22. Plan Z seems to be Plan Porn, ew.

23.The Chum Bucket isn’t directly across the street like it should be.

24.How he does not hear his screams?

25.Also, the plankton smear vanishes in the next shot.

26.“I paid 9 dollars for this?” ‘I paid ten”. That’s racist.

27.I know SpongeBob is” immature” but Squidward is literately the worst worker ever, so why was he picked? At least SB is a good worker.

28.If you listen really closely, you near hear Mr  Krabs whispering jackass. That’s sinful because he said swearing is bad back in Sailor Mouth and got trouble with his Mom over it.

29.Another butt joke. 30.Wait, he doesn’t like people touching the crown yet he hired someone to clean it?

31.Even if this is meant to a different character than the God Neptune, why are we only just now knowing there’s a King of the sea, especially since he’s so close to a place the leads apparently go to a lot?

32.How the hell did no one notice Plankton taking the crown? Mindy is looking in the general direction of it, and while plankton is tiny, they should at least hear it moving or something.

33.There’s no guards outside to possible see the crown flying away.

34/Goofy Goober has a lollipop in this shot, but when that hand thing comes out, it’s gone

35.  There’s only one row of chairs in the nut bar here, but when SpongeBob starts to leave, there’s another corner where more chairs are over there. 36.And they’re drunk, in a family film.

37/They didn’t kick them out for getting drunk in front of kids?

38.Wait, if they’re at the KK 2, who is taking care of the first one right now?

39.”You left one DAMNING piece of evidence-” Whoa, Language!

40.We did not see Plankton bring paper with him at all so I must question this.

41.Also, Mr. Krabs could try to find some stuff he wrote to show this isn’t his handwriting. 42.There’s never a phone here but it’s now there for this joke.

43.How can Plankton hear over anything over the phone if Mr Krabs hung up?

44.Mr Krabs’ clothes magically grow back

45.Discount My Leg!

46.Everyone in the Krusty Krab magically appears before that part, and disappears right after. Hell, you can see two fish eating in the background like nothing’s happening!

47.Patrick, out of nowhere!

48.Patrick being horny for Mindy goes nowhere and is a bit creepy.

49.The wheels are made of pickles in this shot, but when they leave, they are real wheels.

50.There’s seriously no one at the Krusty Krab or even outside to see this?

51.Stereotypical hillbillies are Stereotypical, and a bit annoying.

52.”No Patrick they’re laughing next to us” Hey, only I get to be pedantic around here!

53.How did no one see that guy coming?

54.How did she get that footage?

55.I like that the airhorn from the previous scene is sitll here but it was nowhere to be seen before than so..

56.The thug doesn’t recognize Patrick from earlier.

57 No one in the bar is seen with any tools normally used for bubble blowing, and since they somehow don’t know it came from the bathroom, no one in that room should be suspected.

58.They were standing in place the whole time and everything was far away when they beat up the double dude, so how did Patrick get the key?

59.Villain asks who can stop them now and it cuts to the heroes cliché.

60.A monster having an part that looks like a talking old lady makes no sense  and you know it, so let’s move on.

61.How did the bubble soap get outside?

62.The stairs to the trench randomly appear and reappear throughout this scene.

63.Patrick has only worn those underpants once in the whole show…and it was in an episode after this movie!

64.Even with that carriage, how did Mindy get here so fast? She has no mermaid magic.

65.“Did you see my underwear?” “No Patrick ‘ “Did you want to?” …Ew.

66. The plankton statue in complete in this shot, but in the next shot it’s under construction.

67.I know Plankton wanted Neptune to fry Mr Krabs, but since he controls everyone, couldn’t he storm the castle and use the bucket on Neptune to get the job done quicker?

68.Hate to get critical, but sometimes these cuts to Dennis ruin the flow of scenes.

69.How does that seaweed stay on?

70.“Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?” Spongebob would be great at SpongeBobSins.

71.This song is awesome until you realized they lazily reused some title card music from the show.

…But it’s still awesome, so..

71. ”Even the hideous disgusting monsters!” That’s racist.

72.“That way you’ll never found out that he stole the crown” Dennis is an idiot.

73.Man, what is with this movie and characters appearing without being heard?

74.You know, randomly walking around underwater in a desolate area with barely any fish isn’t really that efficient, given what he’s using them for as we find out in a minute.(Although it clearly worked before so this sin is debatable)

75.Why does he wear his diver’s outfit while on land?

76.“Alexander Clam Bell!” Booooo

77.Okay, so how did Plankton get the crown all the way here anyway?

78.How the heck did they not see that huge crown this whole time?

The entire scene is insanely emotional, especially for SpongeBob. I’m not made of stone so…yeah.

78.The pirates ruins it a tad though.

79.Discount Potty, which makes the lack of Patchy worse. He’s even voiced by Stephen!

80.“Tears bring someone back to life” cliché.

81.Also, these detectors do not work that way.

82..Because a bit of water will bring dead fish back to life, right? It makes sense for the duo but not the ones that have been dead for ages.

83.Poop joke.

84.The Hasselhoff cameo is funny but how many kids even know him, even I 2004?

85,I’m not even gonna ask how Dennis got here with the boot. Still sinning it, of course.

86.Hoff barely feels this epic battle going on, on his back.

87.You’ve got a time limit but sure, 10 seconds to liftoff.

88.They made a big deal out of that lock but now it’s just gone.

89.Karen isn’t there before SB and Pat show up, but now she’s here.

90. Why didn’t he put the bucket on Neptune beforehand? Would have made this a lot easier, makes my previous sin more of an issue.

91.Now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us!

92.This is amazing, one of the best things ever…but it’s also the biggest Deus Ex Machina ever.

93.”No freakin’ way!” The soundtrack version changes this because freakin’ is just too intense for kids I guess.

Eh screw it, sin removed!

93. From the looks of it, the town literally fixed itself in a matter of hours.

94.“I was just tell you that  that your fly is down!” …He doesn’t wear pants. 95,Freeze frame ending.

96.The credits feel the need to inform us that Karen is a computer wife.

97. Way too many minutes of credits for the sake of padding the soundtrack. 98.Post credits scene. SpongeBob is my favorite Marvel movie.

MOVIE SIN TALLY: 98

SENTENCE: Beaten senseless (by every able boded patron in the bar)

And after a slight delay, this is finally done. Even though I had to refurbish something I already did, this sitll took some more, to see what new sins to add and what to keep I tried my best to make sure the sins are good here and hopefully only a few are weird/filler.

This is certainly a few easy movie to sin, but is still highly enjoyable. Might do a win post for it someday, we’ll see. But for now, here are the sins of a good representation of the series.

With that out of the way come back in about mid February or a bit later as dive into Season 4 and see how sinful it ends up being. I’m judging all SpongeBob on the same level, so we’ll see how the sins are.

See ya then.

(Dedicated to Stephen Hilenburg)

[replicarters]

i was at northeast trek con this weekend, if you couldn’t deduce it from my posts that must have sounded like they were coming from some sort of hallucinatory trip. to say i had fun would be a wild understatement. if you slot this con on an alignment chart, it would be wall-to-wall chaotic good. the theme advertised was celebrating the 25th anniversary of ds9... and boy did we celebrate.

what follows is everything i feverishly tweeted about the wildest 72 hours of my life.

the only reason i went to this con at all was @thylekshran, who wanted to see one mr. jeffwey combs very badly. @jadziadax happened to say to me one night, “hey you should go to this con happening where you live to see nicole,” and i said, “wait a minute, isn’t this the con dylan wants to go to? what if i actually Did go to this?”

friday: i grabbed dylan, somehow, from the bus stop that i think didn’t quite exist on this plane. we get to the con and we walk into the exhibit hall. nicole is right by the door and i cannot look at her, so we beeline for vendor tables, and suddenly before me is an extremely familiar spread of colorful images. it takes me a minute to process it, and then i’m pointing to this table and rushing toward it going, “OH MY GOD. IT’S HER! FROM TUMBLR! OH MY GOD WHAT.” it was none other than @abravenoise selling prints!!!! i had no idea she would be there since i didn’t look at anything before i left the house. just fyi she is irl just about the nicest person i’ve ever met!!!!!! and i’m so glad we got to hang out as much as we did!

we spent the day mostly going to panels and being big baby chickens regarding jeff’s and nicole’s tables, respectively. we did end up at jg hertzler’s table A Lot, because dylan, like, is recognized?? by him and his wife??? idk dylan’s just out here charming the pants off everybody, so i was like, okay cool, this is the first thing that is Totally Fine, just chilling with martok. we also met two cool dudes through jg who really enjoyed hanging out with us, and that was great! making friends all over the place! not the first and not the last!

one thing dylan and i were bummed about was that the klingon meet & greet party that night (where jg and robert o’reilly would get in costume as martok and gowron and duel to the death) was sold out. we really really really wanted to go... so dylan just... straight up asks jg if he can get us in dhfklshdfd. and you know what? he fucking does. just... put our names right on that list! O K A Y!

the friday panels were a sign of what would be to come, every one we went to was crazy. this was my first real trek con, so of course i have never seen hertzler and o’reilly in a room together, but now i have and my third eye is open and all that. not to mention: learning that garrett wang plays pokemon go, nicole cracking up at poop jokes like i said, hertzler doodling a little shran with glasses on jeff’s sign, the con’s power point file just being named DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. everything that was happening was so good.

chase masterson had a panel about her pop culture hero coalition, and currently working for a non-profit myself, i was really curious about what kinds of programming they do, so i went to her table to talk to her about it. chase ended up talking some about the why’s of starting the coalition, what it meant to her, her own struggles with depression, and i’m thinking to myself, “uhhhhhh well if chase is gonna share about her mental health struggles, then... i... will also do this.” the nanosecond i said something about experiencing difficulty with self-love, she was zeroed in on me like a cruise missile. i spilled everything to her about my job and how my old boss was basically the meanest, most miserable person alive, and how much she got into my head and how now that i was out of that department, i had to pick up the pieces and it was proving to be much harder than it has been in the past. well, god almighty, chase just had the nicest things to say in return, and we commiserated over being your own worst critic, and how ridiculously hard it is to have this fight against yourself over and over again, but that we deserve so much and going forward is worth it. jesus christ! i got a big hug and said to myself, “holy shit i can’t wait to tell my therapist that a star trek actor talked to me about mindfulness and now i want to learn the hell out of it.”

oh but then it was time for the klingon party that we were now going to thanks to jg hertzler. this thing was off the chain immediately, martok and gowron had their duel, first with sparkling bat’leths that fell apart, and then with whole baguettes, and i can’t believe i got to watch this with my eye parts. and that was the beginning; the party would go for another 3 hours, almost all of which i spent dancing with the most generous people i’ve ever met, who went out of their way to welcome everyone they could onto the dance floor, regardless of physical ability or skill level. there was one woman in particular who, if she saw even the slightest twinkle in your eye and you weren’t already dancing with her, she’d be like, “you, get over here!” i don’t know how my body did that for all that time without falling apart.

our esteemed guests began showing up, and garrett wang leapt into the middle of our jump around circle and gave each one of us a vulcan high five. jeffrey combs showed up which of course sent dylan over the moon, and he said, “you go, girl!” to her dancing. max grodenchik gave dylan one of his drink tickets and then asked us whether or not we thought the existence of god could be proven. chase found us and reached out her hand over a couple people’s heads to give me a supportive hand squeeze (!!!???). aron eisenberg, i don’t know what the hell he was doing, but i feel like maybe somebody asked him about terry, because all of a sudden i hear something like, “terry left because she was in love with nog and couldn’t take it anymore.” garrett has three pokemon go accounts, which he showed off at my urging, and let me tell you, don’t encounter him at a gym because he has three dragonites, two tyranitars, a monster blissey, and god knows what else. dancing, dancing, more dancing. then it was time for it to be done, and time to go home. we watched reanimator. i was wired as hell and barely slept.

and THAT. was only friday.

saturday: i had kept my eyes open for a copy of the lives of dax the day before, but didn’t see anybody selling one. this morning, i walk by a booth we went to the previous day and all of sudden, on top of a bunch of other books in a big tub, there it was!!! couldn’t have forked my money over faster if i tried.

then i had this bright idea. hey... here’s a copy of lives of dax... and nicole is here... and she should sign it... and then in the future i can get terry to sign it... boom, bang, let’s do it, right? i had dylan drag me to nicole’s table because i was like, “i am never going to make even eye contact with her if you do not physically take me there,” and one of us brought up that we missed her at the klingon party. it’s cool, we all gotta sleep, right? well, it turns out nicole had gone out with the gaaays in spaaace people to the bar where they were going to have their party later. so she says garrett texts her, “uhhh hey you know you’re kinda supposed to be making an appearance at this thing, right?” nope! no clue. so she texts him back, “hmmm uhhh well,” takes another sip of her drink, “i think i’m doing good work here.”

the thing about nicole that i somehow missed in my drinking in of all ds9 actor content is that she embodies pure shitposter energy, but if the shitposts were coming from a wine mom. she’s hysterical, 50% intentionally and 50% unintentionally. an extremely excellent human. she signed lives of dax, i had my tribble photo op with her later (that i almost missed due to getting into a conversation with larry nemecek!) and she said she was going to the gays in space party later. helllll yes. i hope somebody puts up her q&a because she told a RIDICULOUS story about auditioning for ezri and creeping on jeri ryan on a plane. i can’t do it justice, there are movements that have to be seen.

we went to combsland finally, and i grilled him about whether or not herbert killed the cat, and we learned jeff has two cats! show them off, man! where are the vids! then, and i had never planned to do this, i bought an autograph from him, and the shran i bought it on ended up selling out! crazy.

hertzler had doodled a martok above his table, and so this combined with the little shran from yesterday led me to these words coming out of my mouth: “can i pay you for a drawing? can i pay you for a drawing of jadzia and martok brofisting?” he gave it very serious thought, said he was gonna have to look at a lot of pictures of terry (relatable), and told me to give him my e-mail. between him and his wife, i hope to god one of them remembers my e-mail is in his wallet. let me give you money!!!

my next tweets jump right to gays in space - again, dylan knows a lot of the gis folks, so i didn’t feel like i was going into this totally unawares. we’re chilling at the bar, i’m drinking my cranberry juice, and then o’reilly, aron, and nicole arrive, telling everybody that jg’s probably going to be late because a bouncer pushed his wife and he might go to jail. like, kidding, but also... it’s jg hertzler and he could legitimately fuck you up. so he was gonna be late, regardless.

nicole sees dylan and me and comes to say hello (????!!!!!) and somebody ends up saying, “get this lady a drink!” yeah, dylan and i were on that. in fact, i pulled my credit card out like i cared not one bit about identity theft, fico scores, my own personal finances; i would purchase this alcohol in an alley from a guy using a card skimmer. few minutes tick by and then i’ve officially bought a drink for nicole de boer (?????????!!!!!!!!) and i’m giving it to her (????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we’re clinking our glasses together (?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i’m clinking glasses with nicole fucking de boer and somehow managing to be normal about it. i’m not altogether convinced i didn’t exit the universe entirely by this point and end up in another one.

the gays in space party was AMAZING, it was just as fun as the klingon party! if you have a chance to go to one, please do, there’s like no way you could ever regret it. you get treated to star trek-themed drag shows, get to mingle, there was a raffle, the people were just as friendly as the previous day, it was so great. we were out very late for my old lady body clock but it was worth every bit of exhaustion we felt the next morning, after the saga of actually getting home past a blocked off road and dylan slicing herself open on the bottom of my passenger seat.

sunday: nicole sees me, mid-yawn, and gives me one of those, “eyyy you and me went through some shit last night huh?” looks and tells me good morning. ( ? ? ? ? ? ! !  ! you know this drill.) combs ended up on the escalator behind us after his panel and i turned around and i said to him, “hey jeff, you got any pictures of your cats with you?” (no, but he has a black cat and a very vocal calico.) i went to chase’s table again and got another hug right out of the gate, we took a pic together, and she told me i was powerful! yo! or rather yooooooooooooooooooo!

the con was winding down at this point, but there was one more thing left: jeopardy. the jeopardy game was done at the first northeast trek con and was so popular they did it again, and i really, really hope someone uploads it to youtube because it is beyond description. first of all, the whole draw were the contestants: you could enter a raffle to end up on either hertzler’s, aron’s, or garrett’s team. the champion from the last game ended up buying half the tickets, so he was on it again, and not on aron’s team, much to aron’s annoyance because god almighty did he want to win. he was about to commit murder in there. someone said nicole was upset that she wasn’t in the game because she really wanted to play, lmfao. so the guys running it were like, “well, go get her, she can be on garrett’s team!” which sent aron into a fucking tailspin. now we got a team with two people on it?! they got nicole and drew the other winners, and the game began. 

one of the rules was “this isn’t going to be fair. at all.” actually, it was two of the rules. despite this, you’d have thought aron was bitten by a rabid raccoon. every lost question almost got him flipping the table over. nicole belatedly, i’m talking like 5 minutes into it, realizes she doesn’t understand the rules of jeopardy and can’t figure out why “their” question was answered by someone else. she can’t believe someone knew what voyager’s registry number was. one of the questions was, “a young kid called ensign kim this name instead of ‘ensign’,” and with no hesitation, she answers, “asshole,” and wasn’t even joking, that was her actual guess.    R E A L    W I N E    M O M    H O U R S

the winner was hertzler and the previous champ. aron wants to ban the guy from buying tickets ever again. we head to the closing ceremony but it doesn’t happen? lmfao. well, guess the con’s over!

@abravenoise, one of our other con pals, and dylan were all taking the same bus that night, so we all went to grab dinner with two other guys, one who was a con pal and one i hadn’t encountered at all, and halfway through our dinner larry nemecek strolls in and sits down with us. things just keep happening, huh? the guy i hadn’t encountered at all was really impressed with me unhinging my jaw to consume my burger, and halfway through doing this i have to stop because he says, “hey, why the HECK did jadzia die?!” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here go hell come. my time to shine.

larry like looooves asking people what brought them to star trek, and this time he was asking us the -whys- of what brings us to star trek. i said the characters, for sure. he asked us about our favorites. i told him mine had changed throughout my life, but that when i was a kid, dr. crusher was my first favorite. he said, “in high school?” i said, “no, i mean, when i was REALLY little. like 4 or 5.” he asked me, “wow, have you ever met gates at a con and told her that?” pfft well, no, but first of all, now you got me wanting that, second of all i said what i really wanted was to swap cat pictures with her.

that was the end. i took everybody to their bus, went home, snuggled up in bed, and just asked myself, “what the fuck happened?” i still don’t know! but it was fun as hell, and amazingly impactful, if i’m being honest with you. i was surrounded by so many people brimming with enthusiasm, so many people who were happy. then there’s me, a curmudgeon who’s done everything in her power to stamp down her happiness all in the name of being ~cool or whatever. and it hasn’t made me very happy. i mean, i am also clinically depressed, there is that. but i’ve stopped sharing the things i enjoy with others, especially in recent years. i’ve closed myself off, mostly out of fear and attempting to survive my old job, but even here, i tend to keep myself at a distance, and i thought it was just because i’ve run the whole gamut of loving something before and just want to hang out with my friends. i think it’s more than that, though. i think it’s more of a defensive posture, and it’s that same posture which is running my life right now. it’s exhausting. this weekend wasn’t exhausting. it was in the sense that the human body needs rest and sleep and food and i wasn’t getting nearly enough of any of it, but emotionally, i was unburdened.

it would be nice to be that way all the time. i don’t know if it’ll be possible to be happy again like the people i met this weekend, but i do know that i want to experience this over and over and over again.

now, next time, maybe @rootmacklin and @jadziadax will be with me and we’ll be showing off our friendship necklaces to a very tall lady. that would be a good step toward unlocking my happiness...

[junkienicky]

Some things about the DVD extras

The bloopers are 5 minutes long and are pretty funny. I posted them already if you haven’t seen them

Cast interviews is around 15 minutes and is pretty interesting. They talk about their character’s mindset in 72 hours and what it was like for themselves working in that timescale 

Jessica said she constantly had to wear wet clothes for about two or three days because of the rain in episode 11 lol

Selenis said “there’s a strip tease... Sorry, it’s not Laura Prepon” hahahahah

She also said it was hard to get out of the mindset of how Gloria was feeling when she got home

Danielle’s favorite moment was setting the cheetos and tampos on fire because it felt like a badass moment

Laura described directing episode ten, how she had to give the actresses notes while she had duct tape on her mouth and around her feet “it’s like insane”

Natasha has a funny moment with Rootbeer where she’s like “still has not made a cameo on the show” Rootbeer barks and Natasha says “we’re all upset about it at home”

Taylor thinks although it is an intense season, she believes that it is one of the funnier seasons they’ve had

Julie says because the writers were saying the subject matters in this season are so dark, they needed a lot of Leanne and Angie this season.........

The writers didn’t write any dialogue for Lea when it came to the talent show because she is a stand-up comedian, and so she improvised her lines but because she didn’t have a mic, she had to loop them in editing lmao

Natasha thinks there is an unfairness to actors who have opinions about the current situations the world is in and that people see it as like “shut up and entertain us”

Danielle thought the season was really challenging because she had to stay in the mindset of someone who is fighting for life and justice. The death of Philando Castile had happened and she remembers watching his girlfriend, Diamond, give a speech and not wanting her lawyer to speak for her but using her own voice. She tried to translate that to the OITNB audience and describes it as an “experience she will never forget.”

Commentary for Tattoo You with director Mark Burley and writer Tara Herrmann;

They mention the eyes being real prisoners for every episode they’ve had commentary on, I swear.

They were filming episode twelve and thirteen in mid winter but they made it look like summer by putting fake leaves in the trees and digitally removing breath.

One of the hallmarks of the show is that they make good social commentary, Mark thinks.

They believe Taystee was standing up for her principles.

Tara wrote the scene where a woman on the bus hands her baby to Bailey while having a panic attack from real experience, except on a plane.

Alan had never held a baby before in the scene.

Freida's bunker was a tiny set and really difficult to shoot in.

Nicky’s “tear drop” tattoo was mistakenly drew in the wrong order. Apparently in one of the bunker scenes it is visible - (I haven’t checked, I wouldn’t know). 

They explain that they go far away from the book, then right back to it with moments such as Piper's first tattoo flashback with the fish, which is what Piper Kirman had in real life.

They were originally going to travel to film this flashback on a beach and the flashback was originally planned as three scenes. They cut it back to one. The flashback was filmed on a stage set and the beach in the background is green screen. 

Sometimes they have to alter cast members' real tattoos because they don't get the rights from every tattoo artist.

Tara thinks Natasha is a great on-camera smoker, although she is "currently" (at the time the commentary was recorded) was off the cigarettes.

During the scene in the pharmacy, Tara explains that in season one, one of the big notes that they kept getting back from the real Piper was that they were not telling enough "mom stories" so they really doubled down on that.

The line in which Red says "without disappointment, she and I have nothing" in reference to her relationship with Nicky was specifically called out as a great line by Jenji - which Tara describes as her "happy day" when she gets kudos from Jenji.

Kate stays in character as Red all day while she is on set.

The salt shaker tattoo on Alex, is one that Jenji always wanted to have her whole life.

Mark thinks it was nice catching up on the backstory of Piper and Alex as there was always more to explore there.

They both joke about how they wonder if Red would be a YouTube blogger on the outside making cooking videos, and that it should be a spin-off.

As you'd imagine, the continuity aspect of the season being based in three days was overwhelming.

Early on, the writers really wanted to "lock Linda in the prison and at some point she needed to be stoned" and "not in the way [we as an audience] are thinking, or in the biblical sense" I have literally no idea what they were talking about here, if I’m honest.

They think Flaca and Maritza are great together.

They think Taylor did a really good job with her scene where she calls Carol, as it was very emotional as Piper has not had the best relationship with her mum over the years and this scene makes a connection.

The corn story from Carol is a real story from co-writer Carolina Paiz’s mother (or husband) but it was actually a can of beans, like we see in the proposal scene.

They shot Piper's second flashback in an actual tattoo shop and the woman tattooing Larry is the owner of the shop.

They was "delighted" to have Jason Biggs back...

They built a bathroom set for when Piper calls Alex that cost around $32,000.

Alex's scene was filmed in a real hotel.

There was a longer shot of Tiffany making the cereal she eats at Donuts' house, but it was cut because it was too long.

They love the unique and odd conversations between various characters, and the scene between Gloria and Luschek was one of them.

They were stuck schedule wise with the phone call between Nicky and Vinny. Originally they wanted a scene showing him at home, but logistically it wasn't working. They shot it with him in his car so the audience had the impression that he spent the night there.

They describe the scene as being big for Nicky, wherein she is essentially saying "odd as it may be, I respect what you guys have but you need to step up and take care of our girl.” And that she is doing Lorna a favor though losing out for herself. In addition, they confirm Nicky would like to be loved in the way she describes in the scene.

Crew had to shoot in the bar terminal at night as they were only allowed to shoot there after 11:00PM.

They struggled on how to tie up bailey's story. They didn’t want him to commit suicide, but they also didn't want it to necessarily feel hopeful for him.

They thought Uzo did a fantastic job of 'sleep acting.'

They mention each character has musical themes.

Mark thought Taylor was wonderful in the proposal scene.

commentary for Storm-y Weather with executive producer Tara Herrmann and writer Lauren Morelli;

It is one of Lauren's favorite episodes she wrote and one of her favourites in general because it was so much work.

They didn't anticipate how stressful writing, production and continuity wise this season would be to create with the seventy-two hour timeline.

They had around 120 meetings (an over exaggeration) on how they were going to do the opening storm scene, because of the glass, smoke, special effects and ensuring health and safety (especially because the actress who plays Alison was pregnant).

They have moments where they realise all the bits they've planted in the season actually come together.

They spent around twelve hours a day shooting in the bunker.

They comment on how beautiful Taylor looks in her "janitor overalls" costume.

Tara mentions about they they are "currently" (at the time of the commentary) [were] working on season six, and there are a lot of things Lauren doesn't know about as she no longer works on the show. She goes on to say how she so badly wants to tell her where each character ends up.

The scene where the Nazis and Ouiji (along with her other two friends - names I can't remember) are deciding which way to go in the corridor, describe how the scene was only a page long, but took hours to figure out.

While writing the season, Tara saw a photo of Natasha on the red carpet with bangs. That's where the inspiration came from to have Nicky's hair like that in this season.

Lauren says she loves both Nicky and Lorna and has a "soft space in [her] heart for them." They comment how they're "so great together."

They think Yael is a really good crier.

They wanted to make sure that we saw every character that we basically know in this episode.

Jenji tries to have every character in the first and last episode of the season.

All of the SWAT team are named after writers of the season.

The season is supposedly set near the end of September/beginning of October.

Mornings on set, they had to use leaf blowers to get rid of snow and leaves and digitally colour correct (add green and brown in editing) to ensure it looks like late summer.

They pitched early on to have Carol and Pat meet in the season.

They describe the episode being "really physical" for the actors because there is a lot of running around.

They had a lot of debate in the writer's room on whether to kill off Humps or keep him alive.

They commented that they often put some of their subconscious thoughts into these characters.

They call the booby-trap making the "home alone montage", they also compliment the art department for all the props such as the sling-shot made out of a bra.

Expanding on this, they refer back to Big Boo's flashback in season three when someone from the art department had to go out and buy dildos lmao.

Lauren spent several seasons trying to get the pool to film in at Rockland.

The pool was difficult to shoot in because it would get very cold, but also very hot at times under the lights.

They had a long meeting about whether we were going to see Humps' butt or not, because he was in a hospital gown, so if he fell out the wheelchair would the gown be open and would you see his butt or would it be a prosthetic.

They had many meetings on how much work special effects put in to figure out how to place the tower of books so that it would be stable enough to stand, but easy enough to fall by being pushed over by a SWAT member. They had to build two towers.

They thought Big Boo and Linda were realy funny and great together.

Lauren received many angry tweets regarding the Epipen moment where they used it to wake up Suzanne. Apparently they researched but it was wrong "according to twitter." They then go on to say that Suzanne didn't OD she was just "really sleepy."

They had to build a fire proof stage set for when Leanne and Angie set the files on fire.

They mention that the girl who gets her nose broken all the time is also pregnant, adding "wow, so many orange babies" lol.

They had a technical adviser on set most of the time to give them guidance with the "SWAT stuff."

It was Diane and Jackie's idea to draw nipples on their bra when Flaca and Maritza make a video for "belieber1996."

Nick Sandow requested if he could shave his mustache, but they said no "because the world wasn't ready to see his naked lip yet."

They mention about how they set the show in the past "we're like what? In 2014, or something." And that they've sort of abandoned the rules in that way, timeline wise.

They think Danielle was spectacular this season.

Uzo is wearing a wig in the bunker scenes, Jackie also often does.

The trailer/security van is a set they built.

They talk about Donuts and Doggett's scenes being complicated. Tara think they should not be together, and Lauren agrees. But they see where these characters come from, and understand why they (as characters) think they should be together.

Jenji named Piscatella originally.

For a long time they discussed Taystee actually killing Piscatella, but decided that would be perpetuating the cycle of violence and that she is not a killer.

They think the scene is really a moment of grace.

They also think Danielle is a really good crier.

They love the rivalry between Red and Piscatella.

They originally had a line as Piscatella leaves where he says "God speed", however it was cut. Neither can remember why but Brad William Henke was pretty upset about it. He also felt like it was a moment of redemption for his character.

While they were shooting the end scene in the pool, the actors requested if they could hear the end song, so that they could have the emotional feel of it.

The whole season/Taystee's fight emphasizes how Litchfield is truly her own home, and the only one that she's had in her life.

The end pool scene was pitched from Toy Story 3 where they're all in the incinerator.

[faithtrustandstrangerthings]

99 things that are wrong with me

1. I love too easily

2. I have a big stomach

3. I have ugly glasses

4. My hair doesn't look good no matter what I do with it

5. I get attached too easily

6. I'm clingy

7. I'm not good at math

8. I'm not good at school in general

9. I complain too much

10. I'm annoying

11. I'm too loud

12. I get angry way too easily

13. My eyes are droopy

14. I have ugly dark circles underneath my eyes

15. I push people away

16. I move relationships along too quickly

17. I'm rude to my family

18. I'm really fat

19. I literally cannot stop eating

20. I talk too much

21. My mood changes from happy to angry in like .2 seconds flat

22. I get my heart broken too easily

23. I'm too trusting

24. I cry over everything

25. My music taste ain't crap

26. I'm boring

27. I crush on guys that I have no chance with

28. I don't know how to fix my own hair

29. When I do my makeup it looks like a clown farted on my face

30. I'm really freakin hairy and nothing works

31. I sing too often

32. I'm rude to my friends

33. I always talk about myself

34. I don't listen to my friends

35. I couldn't draw if my life depended on it

36. I can't cook

37. I can't clean

38. I can't do anything useful

39. I literally have no social events ever

40. The only things I know how to do are sing and write.

41. I complain all day that I'm tired but then stay up until three am writing lists like these

42. I'm a horrible friend

43. I pick my nose sometimes

44. I have an obnoxious laugh

45. I obsess over things

46. I'm impatient

47. My right boob is drastically bigger than my left boob

48. Nobody can ever eat in front of me because my hearing is so sensitive

49. I literally cried at the doctors office the other day I was so nervous and it was just a hearing test I'm such a baby

50. I pressure people into friendships that they're not emotionally ready for

51. I'm overly dramatic

52. I have a strange obsession with blood and death

53. I text my friends in different time zones when it's way too late for them to be up

54. I'm really sensitive physically too like the other day I had a bruised finger and I literally couldn't pick anything up or touch anything without crying.

55. I still sleep with stuffed animals and I'm fifteen years old

56. I'm self centered. The other day I was talking with a friend of mine and I literally talked for an hour before I asked her about her day.

57. I'm bad at showing how much I care

58. At night I go into the kitchen and take swigs of milk straight from the jug.

59. I stay up until three am thinking about stories and fanfictions and crap.

60. I eat all day and then I'm not hungry for dinner so it looks like I'm just being a brat and a picky eater but I'm not.

61. I'm too needy

62. I'm argumentative as heck

63. I'm homeschooled so I never have any idea of what's going on in the world

64. I'm probably the only girl in the world who farts

65. I have three huge moles scattered across the back of my neck that everyone thinks are sores that are infected but they're not I was born with these and I hate them just as much as you do lady

66: I have an annoying voice

67. I meet a new soulmate every week and every time I do my friends have to listen to me rant about them for two and a half hours

68. I have really crooked and yellow teeth

69. My allergies make it so I can't have flowers

70. I can't swim

71. I can't ride a bike

72. I'm almost sixteen and I don't have my permit

73. I don't have a job

74. I don't have any hobbies

75. I get ideas for other books before I finish my original ideas and now I'm currently working on three books, an ongoing fanfiction, and a musical.

76. I give up if I can't do something perfectly on the first try

77. I'm creepy

78. I make jokes about things that shouldn't be joked about

79. I make meme references way too often

80. I'm a hypocrite

81. I'm a horrible sister

82. I'm too scared to get my ears pierced

83. I'm scared of the dark

84. I'm scared of robot voices

85. I'm scared of water

86. I'm scared of heights

87. I'm scared of holes

88. I'm scared of abandonment

89. Silence terrifies me

90. I don't even flinch when a death scene comes on in a Disney movie

91. I haven't watched most of the Disney movies since I was like ten.

92. I can't ride roller coasters. Even the small ones for kids. I hate them.

93. I can't paint my own nails. None of them. Not even the ones on my non dominant hand

94. I'm too picky

95. I am emotionally unstable and can crack at any moment

96. I literally have murderous thoughts when I hear anyone eating popcorn

97. I plan weddings all the time then stay up till 4 am crying and listening to love songs

98. I can't stand talking face to face with people because then I can feel their breath on me and eugh no thank you

99. I'm Richie Tozier inside a Ben Hanscom disguise and it annoys everyone because at first I'm so sweet and romantic and cute and then boom I'm annoying