#that ‘wouldn’t change a day’ scene makes me feel so ill

[carefulfears]

my thoughts on the field where i died, as promised!

first of all, i just have to say, this episode is so visually stunning. glen morgan/james wong + rob bowman behind the camera is a dream team, and i’m inclined to be a bit more open to the content than i probably would be if it came from the perspective of another writer.

the criticism that i hear the most regarding this episode is that it implies that mulder and scully aren’t soulmates, but i've never interpreted it that way

the field where i died opens on an FBI raid of a cult in tennessee headed by vernon ephesian, where mulder intuitively leads the team to a bunker housing ephesian and his six wives, including melissa riedal-ephesian.

throughout the investigation, FBI focus turns to uncovering the location of the cult's weapons, in a search to find enough evidence to charge ephesian. otherwise, he will be released in 24 hours.

throughout the 24 hour holding period, multiple interrogations of melissa reveal not only the depth of the connection that mulder feels to her, but that she seems to exhibit multiple personalities, each with differing information about ephesian's crimes.

in what is possibly my favorite frame of the series, mulder suggests that these alternate personalities might actually be melissa recalling her past lives, and suggests that she try regression hypnosis, with the goal of revealing where the bunker holding the weapons is

this is where this episode starts to lose people, as both mulder and melissa undergo regression hypnosis, and both claim to recognize each other as their spouse in each previous life

however, as the wikipedia summary points out, the recollected histories all end with the two being separated.

melissa describes watching mulder's death during the civil war, while mulder describes witnessing her being taken away (by CSM?? i'll admit this is a weird one, folks) during WWII, with mulder having the line "we're always taken away."

also a frequent flyer in the past life regression session, is scully, who appears in each of mulder's previous lives, an occurrence he describes as souls coming back "different, but always together, again and again, to learn"

personally, i don't think that mulder and melissa being married in each life, or even the emotional connection that they have to each other, is implying that they're soulmates or supposed to be together.

i think that the repeated theme of mulder and melissa being separated and mulder and scully "coming together" in each life is the more meaningful note from morgan and wong. and more than that, i don't think that any of this matters at all.

if you recall, the goal of the regression hypnosis in the first place was to find the bunker. to locate the weapons, to charge ephesian, and to hold the cult members in custody.

ultimately, the regression doesn't assist in the investigation at all, and a planned FBI search of the grounds finds every member of the group dead in a mass suicide, including melissa.

the stand-out of this episode, however, comes before the revelation of the ending.

"dana, if early in the four years we've been working together, an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that...we'd been friends together. in other lifetimes. always. wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?"

following mulder's regression, the episode pauses. and mulder asks scully (calling her by her first name, i believe for the first time since season one) if having known they were fated to come back together, to always be friends, would have changed things between them.

this is a conversation that is ongoing throughout the series, the question of fate vs. free will, and as the incredible @scullysflannel has written about before, mulder loves free will.

while fated past lives might be the MOTW, might be the supernatural phenomenon that we're focusing on, that doesn't mean that the episode, or mulder, comes out on the side of fate.

fate can't find the bunker. fate doesn't save anyone's life.

frequently, when this debate is brought up, as is scully's involvement in the x-files.

scully was assigned to the x-files, she was positioned there by CSM purposefully, and they both know that. but she has chosen to commit herself to the cause, and specifically to mulder. she sought him out when they were shut down, she describes herself as having "followed" him, and she continuously fights to stay involved in his journey.

this is something that mulder rebels against from time to time, feeling responsible for the things that have happened to her since she became involved in his quest

and feeling that there's more for her than what a life with him offers.

in fight the future, he tells her to leave and go be a doctor. in requiem, he laments "everything that's been taken" from her, including her health and chance at being a mother.

over 15 years later, in nothing lasts forever, he admits to the scenario he envisions, a world where she "left that basement office" and married some brain surgeon, became everyone's boss at the FBI, her family and health and babies intact.

regardless of the underlying level of guilt and responsibility that he always feels when it comes to the losses that scully has suffered

he needs this life to have been her choice, for her autonomy in that decision to have been intact, for a life with him to not have been her irrevocable, and somewhat tragic, fate

and so in the field where i died, shortly after exploring the connections of his past, he looks up at her and asks...if this were all because we're supposed to know each other, would it have been different?

and she tells him, no.

the way that in fight the future she tells him that she'll be a doctor, but her work is with him. the way that in requiem she told him that she won't let him go alone. the way that in nothing lasts forever she told him that she doesn't begrudge him anything, that her "leap of faith forward" is the future she wants with him.

maybe they have been friends in every life that they have ever lived. maybe they are fated to always come back together, to always learn from each other.

but fate doesn't save the day, fate doesn't show you what you need to find.

they choose each other, and more than anything else in this episode, that's what he needed to hear.

[lopsicle]

Arcane season 2 spoilers

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I have been thinking A LOT about Jayce and Viktor, mainly the scene where Viktor is reborn out of his pod of Hexcore.

Mainly because it means a lot for Viktor’s character. On a fundamental level, he never seen much worth in himself, but he did see worth in inventions, the things he made, it’s how he could prove himself to the world. This is why he becomes so concerned with his illness and the legacy he’ll leave behind on the world; he needs the Hexcore to work because he doesn’t have anything else.

But now, he is literally fused with his invention, his invention that he has grown to hate because it killed one of the only people who truly saw value in Viktor, and not the things he could, partly due to his own negligence. Viktor put it best, in his pursuit of greatness, he failed to do good.

He doesn’t really know how to process what happened to him at all, he’s a smart man, he can clearly deduce that his body has undergone some cybernetic change, he can probably remember the explosion in the council room, but other then that, he’s just confused, hence why he asks Jayce, “what am I?” Viktor’s body is entirely different and unfamiliar, and taking into context that the Hexcore, his greatest invention which he tied all his worth to, has failed before this, it’s likely Viktor had lost sight of who he was, and his new body only served to further that descent.

Jayce can’t think about any of that though, he’s just happy that his partner is alive and who wouldn’t be, he’d been waiting for days, possibly weeks for him to wake. Viktor’s mortality is one of the things that Jayce has struggled with the most in the series, which is what makes his survivor’s guilt so much more pertinent. A lot of people claim that Jayce grew up rich and coddled, and I think that’s true to an extent, but they forgot his family were workers, tool smiths. Jayce seemed to grow up with the idea that he wasn’t that fortunate, that he was a working, middle class man who was going to change the world, and then he meets Viktor, a “poor cripple from the Undercity,” and then he sees what the Undercity is really like and the conditions people live in. And that’s when Jayce realises; he had it good. I believe this is what encourages part of his admiration of Viktor; he is what Jayce thought he was.

Tangent aside, I feel that their hug is a very, very important moment, mainly because of Viktor’s reaction.

He isn’t relieved or uncomfortable, it’s just…nothing. Given what Viktor says about how he doesn’t feel that it’s cold and just recognises that it is cold, I believe this is the moment where it fully sank in how much his body had changed. He couldn’t feel Jayce.

And like, first off, that is such beautiful symbolism for what he says later about how they’re relationship was only held together by affection. Viktor physically cannot feel said affection anymore and know has no reason to stick by the side of someone whose views have become so contrasted to his. But more emotionally, it’s representative of Viktor’s belief that he is unloveable, his new body is merely proof at that, he can’t touch Jayce, he couldn’t save Sky, he couldn’t make the Hexcore work properly, he couldn’t even get Jayce to destroy the Hexcore. To himself, Viktor is a failure who is unworthy of love.

But, he still huge Jayce back. Despite not being able to feel Jaycee’s warmth anymore, despite it feeling like his whole life has crumbled, Viktor wants to give Jayce one last act of service. Perhaps to prove that he still has use, or maybe this was the moment where he decided he would have to part ways with Jayce, and just wanted Jayce to remember his touch, even if Viktor couldn’t remember his.

Anywho if enough people like this dribble, I may post my take on the rest of this scene because it shattered me

[superstarz9]

So y’all fw Mr. Puzzles hcs?

Cause I got some :]

So canonically, based off the emerging movements he makes going from tv mode to ‘normal’ mode and the appearance of his arms/legs, there isn’t much of Puzzles that’s human anymore. The closest things he may have left is his heart and lungs (since he smokes, but that’s also a stretch).

While I prefer the idea thar he smokes, I like to think that he only holds the cigarette and pretends to smoke with a small smoke machine in the back, since the cig isn’t actually lit in the scene (not on purpose, of course).

As a kid, he was inspired to smoke from the old cigarette ads in cartoons (like the Flintstones Winston commercial).

He loves cooking shows and remaking the recipes, but he can’t eat. For a relationship hc (platonic or romantic), he’d probably love making food for you and get feedback on his cooking (eg, more spices, cook more/less, different recommendations). And compliments, of course. Always gotta compliment the chef, after all.

Body-wise (and this one might be kinda gross cause of minor body horror so skip if not comfortable), since we’ve established that there isn’t anything organic anymore about his body, he probably looks like a wire version of muscle anatomy. He’s very self-conscious about this, and tries to hide it the best of his abilities (long clothes, wrapping his arms to keep his shirt in place, the gloves). To add, his brain is probably a unique motherboard with wires surrounding it like a brain.

He sees and hears through the antennas, and makes sure to keep then aligned as much as possible. If one of them is slightly bent out of their usual shape, things look and sound very broken, like your vision going in and out. To add, the top dial changes the channel from his expressions to a specific show, and the lower dial adjusts his volume.

Technically canon but he has heterochromia! His right eye is dark brownish and his left is light blue. (He has homophobia in his eyes 😔 /j /ref)

We already know he stims lets bffr.

My friend’s hc: His angry/scary/humanoid face is parts of his original face, as well as the face that glitches during the movie’s end (I stg I know where that face is from. I wanna say Jack Stauber but I know it’s some kind of claymation. Speaking of Jack Stauber, Mr. Puzzles kinda gives Mirror Man vibes, y’know?).

Since he’s not as human anymore, he doesn’t get sick normally. However, he can get versions of illnesses through similar methods. He can overheat and power off on hot days, and he’s probably not great in rain. His signal also jams when it rains, so he’d constantly be bumping into stuff and wouldn’t be able to control the channels properly (I say control the channels cause idk what else to call it but that thing he does in the movie where he runs all the channels in his head and stuff. His head’s still a fully functional tv after all). If he’s shocked with lighting or smth, he’ll lose his signal, which is his equivalent of going into a coma.

Speaking of rain, he’ll try his best to be on top of the weather and carry an umbrella. However, if he doesn’t have actors for the weather channel and is preoccupied with other projects, he’ll be stuck at the studio waiting out the storm. Relationship hcs for this can be rlly funny. You’d catch him all bitter about the sudden rain as he stands by the door waiting for a cab or smth. If you pull out an umbrella, he’s turn into an absolute drama queen. “Oh, it’s such a TRAVESTY! This HORRIBLE rain just WON’T lighten up! Oh, if only there was someone so kind and caring who’d share their umbrella with me!” You could a) not share the umbrella and receive an even more bitter Puzzles, b) insist on holding the umbrella and have him walk with you awkwardly, or c) give him the umbrella but he holds it so high that you still get wet.

Despite his hatred for the rain, it’s one of the few things he can still enjoy about his humanity. Being a bunch of wires and other tech, he can’t feel anything, just being numb, minus a light electrical pulse, similar to a heart beat. He can’t feel specific textures but can grab and roughly identify objects. However, he can feel the rain and how different it is from other things, and it reconnects him with the real world. For any Steven Universe fans, it’s like Peridot stepping out into the rain for the first time, but more somber.

If he’s out in the rain one day, he’s sick the next. When he sneezes, his screen goes static-y for the moment.

When he sleeps, he has a black screen with the small “sleep mode” pop-up in the corner. He’s also a very light sleeper.

When he zones out, it’s the Puzzlevision logo bouncing across the screen as a screen-saver.

Aight that’s all I got right now. If this does well I’ll post some more!

[grapejuicestyless]

The Tide Always Goes Out

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

ANGST

Summery: You were sick. You had always been sick. But you looked so healthy, so it couldn’t be true. Conrad could live in denial of his best friend’s inevitable death but there was nothing he could do to stop it and he has to accept it.(Inspired by the book Little Women specifically the scene in the 2019 film between Beth and Jo.) Mentions of illness and death.

We sat on the beach squished on a small blanket. wrinkles from our shifting and creases beneath us from where we sit. We talk about everything and anything all morning. Not minding the grey overcast of the clouds covering the usually very blue sky. Or how the waves are more violent than they usually are. I know this because I remember it vividly. It wasn’t that long ago I was really there. Making sure it would last forever. Only now I wish I hadn’t because it haunts me more than it comforts me. And the entire way it played out still makes my heart ache with regret.

Somehow I end up with her lying over me. She lays her head in my lap, the thin blanket woven together with faint reds and oranges creating a little hammock for her to rest on. I can feel the way her heartbeats erratically over my thigh. The way her lip’s curl into a soft smile. The ocean reflected in her eyes. If it weren’t for the heavy eye bags and the slight tremble in her bones, she’d be normal. A normal girl with no issues. You wouldn’t even know how deeply her suffering ran. Sometimes, on the better days, I let myself become fooled as well. Playing dumb hurts less than facing the truth.

“Con.” Her eyes flick up to mine, and I can’t help the way my own avert her gaze. I am too afraid to face her. Even now. The girl who I worship day and night. I never did pray before her, but now I pray that when I wake up, she’ll still be beside me. And we can enjoy the company the other has to offer just one last time. I can’t look down and see how much she’s changed. It scares me, because the traces of the illness torturing her is evidence to how real it is. And I would rather live in oblivious bliss.

“I want you to know I’m not really scared anymore.” It’s not what I expected to come from her lips, but it’s what she lands on. Theres no room in her wording for me to deny what she’s trying to say. My eyes flick down to hers, and my hands moves the hair blowing in the wind messily across her face.

“Y/n, come on. Don’t say shit like that.” I smile, but I don’t really mean in. I don’t find her words funny, and I don’t like that my best friend is sick.

“No, Conrad. I’m serious.” She breathes out, hands pressing against my skin to lift herself up. I feel a chill run through my body without her warmth to ease the morning chill. More than that, I can feel the coolness in my heart when she separates from me, and I long for the next moment I’ll feel her gentle touch.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and I’m certain that I’ll be okay.” I continue to look at her, but only this time, she is the one looking at the sand, tracing her fingers in it as they stretch past her ankles to the floor.

“And I’m only so sure because I know you’ll be there.” Her eyes flicker up to the sky and I swear I see the sky brighten for just a moment. The blue underneath all the grey breaking free for a split second. “I’ve known you my whole life, and I’ve felt things for you that I have felt with no one else. I know you, and I trust that you’ll come find me in the next life.” Pulling at her lip, she waits for a response.

“But I want to keep you in this one.” My hand finds hers and all I can do is squeeze onto her desperately. Wanting nothing more but to keep her close. So I can watch her. Make sure shes okay. She’s lost all of her fight, her will to stay. And I know it’s because of the pain. I’ve heard her sobs just down the halls and the hushed whispers of my mother and her’s. But part of me wonders if it’s simply because I did not do enough. If I wasn’t enough reason for her to stay.

“It’s like the tide going out. It goes out slowly, but it can’t be stopped.” And we both know it. Theres no stopping what will happen to her. Theres no wish or medicine or fight that could keep her here beside me. It makes me want to cry, but I don’t. It would be selfish of me to get so upset when I am still here. Well and alive. Promised many years to age and achieve things she never was given the chance to.

“I’ll stop it.” I don’t look down at her, but I can feel how she shifts. The way her frown only deepens and the bags in her eyes get heavier. She sighs heavily into the silence, shaking her head slowly. She refuses to cry though. Partly because I know she knows she’ll have plenty of time to cry in the darkness of her room, when the ache in her bones is too much and theres no way of stopping it. And the other part of me recognizes that it’s because there’s no reason to in her eyes.

Y/n knew it better than all of us. She had lived a good life. She could do things and want things some children could never even dream of. She had a warm home with a glowing fireplace that her family often gathered around. A loving sister and a great brother. Her mother and father were healthy and she had the best friends she could have ever asked for. Her only regret is that she had to make her own mother pick out the details for her headstone.

When I pull her into my body, I have no idea it will be for the last time. I have no clue that her sobs won’t part from her lips. Because when she closes her eyes, she doesn’t drift into her usual place of rest. Her eyes don’t flutter open at the soft creak of the stairs when Jeremiah decides he wants a late night snack. Nor does she stir when Steven laughs, following behind him not as skillfully.

Not even when her mother screams early in the morning, hands clinging to her limp wrists, cold and lifeless. The tears from my mother mixing with her younger sisters don’t even make her flinch. And it’s chilling because it almost looks like she was smiling. The lift of her lips is barely there, but it makes me feel better knowing she went in peace.

I remember that day more clearly than ever. How the grey sky haunts me and the way she spoke so surely about her death still sends chills through my veins. I could have only wished to have looked at her a little closer that day. So that even in her darkest moments, I could be as certain as she was that the image of her would never fade, and I would always be able to memorize each wrinkle in her skin.

So I tell myself that when it’s my time, I’ll do what she said I would. I’ll find her in the next life. And I’ll look a little harder at her, and I’ll admire her for longer.

[waterlilyvioletfog]

The way Nirvana in Fire handles time is very interesting to me, in a way that stuck out to me on first watch and now sticks out on second viewing. We learn a lot of things about Mei Changsu early on— he’s a former soldier, he’s clearly haunted by his past, he’s gentle and affectionate with Fei Liu, he intimidates people and garners respect for his keen intellect, he’s overall often very mild and serene. But most importantly, to the show’s framing at least, Mei Changsu is chronically ill, and his illness will most certainly kill him, if he doesn’t lean back and accept being an invalid. But Mei Changsu values the work higher than his own life, seeing it as a tool to achieve his plan, so Mei Changsu goes to the capital anyways, hoping to get two years to complete his schemes before his illness kills him.

So, with this established early on, as we watch and see the seasons change, holidays come around, and people make references to the passage of time, we are acutely aware as audiences just how much time Mei Changsu has left. Sometimes we skip through long stretches of time in between back-to-back scenes— hours, days, weeks— and, especially on re-watch, this feels to me like time is slipping away from me and Mei Changsu both. Our protagonist is racing against the clock of his own body, trying to hold out just long enough to set his own soul to rest before he collapses, and that internal clock looms always in the viewer’s minds.

When I was watching with my mother, she turned to me and asked, “But, is Mei Changsu really still going to die at the end of this?” Like, he would do all of that, and wouldn’t get to be happy. And I told her, yes, he really does die at the end. And it’s because he did all that that he dies. He's mortgaged his own life to set the battle dead of Meiling to rest, set his country to rights, set Jingyan on the throne. Mei Changsu is here as a dying man, performing the last rites for 70,00 men, his family, and himself. It's difficult to watch without thinking "you don't need to do this," but ultimately I can't judge him. Who among us wouldn't give the last of ourselves to bring peace to the ghosts of our loved ones?

[envies-writing-corner]

Hello, Stranger

Genre: (F, A)

Includes: Mysta, Kyo, Shu

Word Count: 650

TW: mentioned Death, Meet-Cute cringe?

Concept/Title explained: Soulmate AUs

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Mysta Rias: Red String

Mysta would not believe you if you told him he would wake up to find a red string attached to his pinky and it would lead here. He wouldn’t believe it for a second. Maybe that’s why it was so difficult to grasp the fact that it was true.

As the detective stepped out of the car, he looked towards his hand, the string growing tighter, leading into the graveyard in front of him. Every fiber of his being was begging that it wasn’t what he thought, that his soulmate was just visiting someone. Everyone knew soulmates were something important, that only one person was meant to be with the other end of the red string. He’d heard of how it’s supposed to be a magical moment when you meet your forever partner for the first time, his own friends Fulgur and Uki having tried to explain how it felt when they met in person. This moment was anything but a joyful fairytale scene as his string went taught, pausing in front of a grave.

Shock pierced through Mysta as he fell to his knees, unable to comprehend the words on the tombstone in front of him, desperately trying to pull the string from the packed dirt, giving up as it wouldn’t give. This was reality, his soulmate was dead… and he had found them too late.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry you died without me...”

Kyo Kaneko: Colorblind

For as long as Kyo could remember, the world had been dull and void of life. He had believed it to be because of his illnesses, that because of his constant hospitalizations the world just didn’t seem as it once did to him. When he was accepted as a member of Iluna, he quickly realized that wasn’t the case. His friends bustled with life, joy and excitement, just to make their fans and each other feel happy. They had always spoke of the colorful world they’d lived in, how Ren’s world was all black and blue, how Aster seemed to shine in his purple outfits, how soft Maria looked with her pink accents. Kyo wondered if he’d ever experience the beautiful world his friends kept gushing about.

Nothing prepared him for that day though, when a new student had joined the Iluna institute, his world bursting into color like an explosion, his eyes immediately landing on you and your beauty.

"That stranger...”

Shu Yamino: Timer

Shu’s timer always confused him. It never seemed to tick down, not by a second, minute, hour, or day. The clock on his wrist never changed. It didn’t help when he was thrown years forward into the future. In fact, when he did get transported, he forgot about the timer, not once checking it since he joined Luxiem.

When the topic of timers came up on stream a year later during a Zomboid collab, everyone had revealed what their timer said. Some, like Nina’s and Ren’s had already gone off, while others like Alban’s and Wilson’s had years to go. Shu could feel his heart in his throat when he noticed his only had a few more minutes. He wracked his brain, trying to think of who was part of the collab he hadn’t met, who was running late. His answer came a minute later, his timer down to under a minute when his doorbell rang. Muting his stream and running to the door, he saw you. You hadn’t noticed your timers going off as you looked at your phone, seemingly confusing the house with your friends as you look up, slightly annoyed.

Everything was in slow motion when you looked up, eyes locking with purple as your phone fell, quickly looking at your wrist then Shu’s as everything became clearer. He smiled, picking up your phone and handing it back to you, a teasing tone to his voice.

“Hello, stranger...”

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A/N: thank you for your patience regarding new fics, I would like to state that due to recent news regarding Mysta Rias’ graduation, I will no longer write for Mysta unless requested, similar to how I write for Yugo. Until his graduation date, please support him and the rest of Luxiem through this difficult time, and stream Detect My Love. ~Iris

[bts-0t-7]

Not-A-Goodbye | KSJ

Pair: Seokjin x idol!reader

Summary: You knew this day would come but you were just hoping that you wouldn’t have to face it. You thought that you were ready. But as you stood at the military base, saying your goodbyes to your beloved, you didn’t want to let him go. 

Genre: Fluff, established relationship au

A/N: I am sorry for the sad chapter. I am so sorry 😭 I was bawling myself -

WC: 928

You knew time was not on your side. Time was never on either of your side. 

But you never thought that it would come so fast. 

The sun hung low on the horizon as the both of you got into the sleek back car. The morning sun cast a warm, golden glow over the scene at the military base. As you stood in the midst of a crowd that was all there to bid farewell to each of their beloved - whether it is family, friends, or boyfriends. You were standing there with the six of the other boys, all there to send your beloved who was about to begin his mandatory military service. 

All the boys were bidding Seokjin goodbye, teasing him by constantly rubbing his now shaved head - god, just the thought of it makes you feel a fresh wave of tears. But you couldn’t move. You stood still, heart heavy with a complex mix of emotions. Your beloved was standing no more than ten footsteps away from you, dressed in his military uniform as he stood tall and proud. 

But you knew him better. 

As his eyes caught the attention of yours, you saw the emotions that he was trying to conceal. Your throat tightened as more tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You were so worked up on denying the fact that he was leaving but now looking at him, the reality of his absence was starting to sink in, and it was absolutely overwhelming. 

Seokjin turned to you, gaze locking onto yours and instantly wrapped you in his strong arms. Despite the brave face he put on, his eyes clearly mirrored the pain and sadness you felt. Swinging your arms around his waist, you embraced him tightly, voice shaking as you whispered, “I’m going to miss you so much, Seokjin.”

He held you close, arms a cave of warmth and comfort. “Hey now…” You left tear stains on his shirt as you tried to control yourself. “I’m going to miss you too but remember what we talked about last night? You’ve gotta take care of yourself when I’m not around, okay?” You shook your head, messing with your hair as you squeezed him tighter as if if you did, he wouldn’t leave. “Don’t worry too much, okay? I’ll be alright in there.”

Worry. It was an indescribable feeling - one that constantly plagues minds and bodies; one that is a type of uncurable illness. It was a constant companion, always gnawing at your heart ever since he received his draft notice. That night, you spent it crying in his arms, begging him to stay. You knew that nothing you did would ever change as the military was part of his duty as a citizen but it was difficult. Difficulty to not worry about the dangers that he might face and the time you spent apart. 

Worried about him being out in the cold, having heat flashes, his allergies, and so much more. The list was non-exhaustive. And it wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. On the contrary, you trusted him too much. You knew that he wouldn’t look at others but you were worried - worried and jealous that they get to see your boyfriend doing push-ups, pull-ups, and runs. 

“But I can’t help but be worried.” You admitted, voice quivering. “You mean the world to me, Jin. What if you get hurt? Like you sprain your ankle? Or maybe you dislocated your shoulder? Or what if you get too cold during the winter or faint from the heat during the summer? Or what if -”

Seokjin gently brushed a tear away from your cheek and softly kissed your lips. “Shh… I understand your concern, but worrying is not going to change anything. Plus, if I ever get too cold, I can just slap heat patches like I always do.” Seokjin turned his nose upwards, laughing. “While I’m not around, you should focus on yourself. Grow yourself so that when I come home, you can be strong enough to take anything I give you.” Seokjin gently lifted a finger to caress your cheek. “I know you’ve been putting off so many things on my behalf. Now is the time to pursue your dreams, spend time with your friends, and do whatever you want to do.” Suddenly squishing your face in his big hands, you let out a surprised squeak. “Take care of yourself. I’ll be fine and come back as soon as I can.”

It hurts to know that his words bring to you a mixture of comfort and sadness. You knew he was right but the thought of him not being by your side made it hurt so much more. The extended period made it an even harder fact to accept. Still, you nodded and wiped your tears, hoping that your little smile would be convincing enough. But the little squish that Seokjin did on your cheeks and the quivering smile on his lips gave you enough of an answer. 

“I’ll… I’ll try, Seokjin. Promise to focus on myself.”

With a final, tender kiss, you reluctantly let him go. As you watched him walk away to join his fellow soldiers, you stood there, feeling a void in your heart. As they walked through the gates, you stared at Seokjin’s retreating figure until you couldn’t see him anymore. The moment you felt tears filling your eyes, you immediately turned back to the car as your shoulders shook. You knew that the days to come would be filled with missing him and longing for his presence.

[moody-alcoholic]

Visit to Manchester

Another scene I wrote for my fic that got removed.

Summary: Established relationship Simon x OC, 1.6k words. Mentions of feeling sick and vomiting, throwing up, unplanned pregnancy scare (kinda), mentions of medication including birth control, hurt/comfort... I don't watch football, I don't know which team is better :(

MASTERLIST

Enjoy <3

I promised I would spend the weekend in Manchester with Simon but after the 3 hour train ride I was feeling exhausted. I would have driven but I was not feeling well, I woke up with a headache I couldn’t shake for hours. Then my stomach had been doing flips all day. I had gone through a whole pack of alcohol wipes using them to quell the constant urge to vomit. I should have maybe cancelled, but I made the trip anyway, it’s only for 2 days. I’m sure it’s just something I’ve eaten I’ll probably feel better later. Or I could just be hungry? I tried to push the thought away as the train came into Manchester station. I stepped onto the platform and headed through the gates, I saw Simon distracted by his phone. I smiled and walked over to him picking up my pace so I could jump in his embrace. He looked up from his phone smiling as he hugging me. He smelt of aftershave I had to pull back from the hug, it made my stomach do flips again. He plants a kiss on my forehead and I grab his hand as we go outside.

“How was the train?” He asked leading me to the car park.

“Okay I guess, it was busy.” It was Friday peak evening rush, I should have come a day earlier.

“You should have driven you wouldn’t need to worry about parking.” I shrug. We get to his car and I throw my bag in the back seats then get in the front. I feel the rush of adrenaline as my mouth fills with saliva. I force myself to swallow, the embarrassing thought of throwing up in his car grounds me.

“Do you have any mints?” I ask as he pulls out the parking spot.

“Should be some gum somewhere.” I start looking through the glove box sure enough there’s an open packet. I pop one in my mouth offering him one. He shakes his head. The drive to his flat was quick only about 10 minutes I listened to him talk about what he was doing in London, it gave me something to focus on other then the pit re-forming in my stomach. When we got to his place I spat the gum in a trash bin and followed him to the lift. He was on the top floor so we would get a nice view of Manchester, or at least that’s what he promised. I had to squeeze his hand to keep myself grounded, by the time the lift made it to his flat I was trying to hide the hot flush that came over me.

“Sorry the place is a bit of a mess I only got back yesterday.” He says as he opens the door. He didn’t seem to notice my change in demeanour, inviting me inside. It was a nice flat, open plan bar the bedroom and bathroom, and the nice balcony overlooking the city. I smiled making my way over to the couch, dropping my bag by the coffee table. He turned on lights and opened the balcony door a bit letting fresh air in. The breeze was nice. I took my shoes off as he came to sit next to me. Extending his arm out so I could rest my head on his shoulder.

“You okay?” He asks. I panic I don’t want him to think there is anything wrong but It just makes the feeling worse, the lump comes back in my throat.

“Yeah, just feeling a bit… ill.” I said, he pulled back looking at me.

“Do you need anything?” He asked.

“Water?” I ask. He kisses my forehead then gets up. I sit up feeling my mouth fill with saliva again. I try to swallow but it doesn’t help. I freeze feeling shivers run up my body. I’m going to be sick. I stand up walking to the bathroom, but it soon turns into a run as I barely make it to the toilet before I’m vomiting into the bowl. I grip the seat heaving until I’m sweaty and exhausted. I reach up and flush the toilet hearing Simon knock on the bathroom door.

“Can I come in?” He asks.

“Yeah.” I croak. He walks in handing me a glass of water I swill my mouth out and spit it in the toilet. I sit back against the sink looking up at him. He bends down in front of me.

“I’m sorry.” I say. “I think it was something I ate.”

“It’s alright.” He says brushing my hair out my face. I drink some more water trying to get the taste of vomit out my mouth, when I’m feeling better and my stomach has settled Simon helps me to my feet. He goes into the bedroom and I follow him grabbing my bag from beside the coffee table. He’s rummaging through his wardrobe, as I strip changing my shirt to something more comfortable. I feel clammy as I throw my pants, shirt and bra onto the floor. My whole body feels fragile as he walks over to me with a blanket in his arms.

“You want to lie down? Or we could just chill on the sofa?” He says.

“Sofa sounds nice.” I reply. He takes my hand in his and I follow him out to the sofa. He sits down leaning back. Giving me plenty of room to lie up against him. I smile at him and sit on the sofa. I want to lie in his shoulder but the pain in my stomach forces me to plant my head on his thighs.

“Want a pillow?” He asks throwing the blanket over me.

“I’m okay.” I say, I was feeling exhausted now. Simon’s hand slips under the blanket and he rubs my back.

“What me to put the TV on?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Some background noise might actually help give my mind something to focus on. He reaches over to the remote turning it on and channel surfing until he lands on a Top Gear re-run. I feel him lean back more giving me more room for my head. He rubs his hand up and down my back. Eventually I close my eyes exhaustion taking over I feel Simon’s hand move under my shirt pressing on the small of my back making me relax into him more, before I knew it I had dosed off.

I was woken to the sound of the doorbell. I jumped awake looking out the window it was dark now.

“Sorry, I did tell them not to ring the bell.” I sit up feeling dizzy. He gets up heading to the door. I see him take a bag from someone and say thank you.

“I was going to order Chinese but it thought maybe you might want something a bit lighter.” He comes over to the sofa. “There is this great deli does the best panini’s I’ve ever had.” I smile as he starts taking food out the bag. I pick up a bottle of water and gulp it down. My stomach felt more settled now.

“It’s mozzarella, tomato and pesto.” I take it out his hand and rip the paper off. It did smell amazing. I took a bite hoping it would go down easy and I wouldn’t be heaving into the toilet again. He was right though it was amazing.

“So they put crack in the pesto or something?” I ask smiling at him.

“Yeah I think that’s it.” He laughs. I demolish the sandwich as we contemplate what to watch. I let him pick and I snuggle up to his chest with his arm round me. I’m not paying attention to the TV so he ends up on Sky sports watching the local game. I don’t mind, I’m just happy my brain isn’t in ‘do not vomit’ mode. He leans back once he is happy with his choice.

“I thought Man-U weren't playing this week?” Trying to sound invested in what was going on.

“This is Man city love,” He says running his and down my back.

“Which ones the good one?” I ask. He chuckles pulling my body further up his chest.

“Depends on who you ask.” He says. I watch the players run around trying to focus on what the casters where saying, hoping I could understand something so I didn’t come across as the typical woman who knows nothing about football. Every now and then something would happen and Simon would explain what was happening. I listened to his enthusiastic remarks then it went to half time. Simon got up clearing the trash and taking a beer out the fridge. He didn’t offer me one but he asked if he could have one. I was almost taken aback by the question, nodding my head telling him ‘of course it’s your place.’ He came back to the sofa pulling me back on his chest and making sure I was covered by the blanket. I felt him relax back down as he took a sip from the can.

“I’m not pregnant by the way.” He seemed shocked by the statement, coughing mid drink, I guess it was pretty out of the blue. He placed his can on the coffee table wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I never thought… I wasn’t worried about that.” He says as I feel his body stiffen.

"I’m on the pill.” I say gripping his body tighter. He seemed flustered as he squeezes my hip. “Periods are a bitch on deployment.” I explain, trying to lighten the mood. He smiles down at me kissing my forehead.

“It’s okay.” He says. Those two words reassured me every thing was okay. It made me relax back into his chest while he adjusts the volume on the TV as the game starts up again. I smile rubbing my hand on his stomach.

“So do we like this team or not?” I ask as his hand finds its familiar spot on my back.

“Yeah we like this team.” He replies kissing the top of my head.

[quantumripple]

Figured it might be neat to give post-mortems of fics I’ve written (in no particular order)

Gonna call this Quantum’s Post-Moretem Mondays even though I’m almost certain I’m never going to post this again on a Monday (work was just suuuuper slow)

So to start off we’ve got Pen Pals: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51609454

Premise: in early 2010 Taylor and Sveta become pen pals (hence the name).

Very much the definition of a rarepair since there’s only one other Taylor/Sveta fic that I’m aware of and it’s not even tagged.

And honestly hot take: the reason it’s a rarepair is that it lowkey just does not work as a ship. Taylor and Sveta are just not compatible, Taylor is far too… her. Sveta deserves better honestly.

What I like about the fic:

The bits of humour always blindside me when I do a reread. This one definitely leans on the sort of online humour you sometimes get with lesbians. Particularly the meme of two girls commiserating you each other that they “wish they could get a gf frfr”

I also just stole some funny bits from worm and adapted them but idk if I should count those bc they were just yoinked from worm.

I’m pretty proud of the background plot that’s happening in the fic. It’s pretty fun to explore those through only the lens of texts between two people. Things diverge a little bit and we end up with Echidna happening early, but the fight goes a lot differently. Ends up being a much longer fight/conflict but upside is case 53 stuff didn’t get leaked. Taylor eventually ended it by tag-teaming with a few heroes, getting the right power combo. S9 shows up after and a while after they’re there Amy takes Victoria. Taylor, thinking the s9 did it went on the warpath, she broke into the prt hq and stole the Bakuda bombs which she used to take out a few members before she found Amy and Victoria, made Amy fix her, then just fully executed her.

What I don’t like:

Taylor is extremely out of character. She’s too like… it’s hard to explain but she’s too cutesy, or dorky in a way that doesn’t really fit with how she is in canon. Triple especially anytime they’re discussing feelings. Honestly the only parts of her that feels in character is latter on in the fic when it starts getting into the broader hero plot stuff.

Sveta is also pretty ooc but not quite as bad as Taylor. She’s a hard character to write because while yea she’s got a lot going on at the end of the day she’s just a really nice person and that’s hard to write out unless you want something super fluffy.

And speaking of: the fic is just way too fluffy for my tastes these days. Like I had to skim the final scene where they’re being all sappy and confessional bc it made me feel ill lmao.

What I would do if I were to redo/re-explore:

Honestly this might be one of my few fics where I’d just cop it and say that it kinda doesn’t work conceptually. Taylor and Sveta just aren’t really compatible without changing one or the other.

Honestly if I were returning to it I’d probably drop Sveta (sorry) and actually just focus on the Brockton Bay plot stuff. So it’d be Taylor joining the wards, getting frustrated and then leaving and teaming up w Victoria and the focus is more in them becoming friends. And the other changes with Echidna and the s9 could be fun to explore.

Or alternatively I keep Sveta and lean into the doomed nature of the relationship, have it be a much more deep exploration of their characters and how they could interact. Follow Sveta as she makes an online friend but slowly realise that this friend of hers is weirdly violent as a cape. Have that introduce a lot more friction with Sveta judging Taylors methods more and more and Taylor just getting really defensive etc. and like…. It wouldn’t even need to have a bad ending per se. It would just be them realising that they’re really not compatible and that getting this invested in each other was a bad idea. Or the super good ending where Sveta comes around to Taylor’s way of thinking and they wage bloody war against evil, that could also be p fun. And not entirely impossible especially if Taylor is literally Svetas only friend.

Final thoughts:

This is one of those fics that still gets the odd random comment on ao3 which makes me remember it more often than other fics despite the fact that I don’t really have much to say/think about the fic beyond what I’ve already thrown up. It sits in my mind as a firm “basically ok, has its moments”

Curious to know what others think of it because honestly I barely do. I think I just picked it bc it was one of my shorter fics and sfw so I could read it between waiting for stuff to happen at work.

[natsu-tte-noodle]

The “Wait, I Die in this Play??” Tier List

Under the cut for play spoiler purposes :3

Each level of dying in a play overrides the previous ones, so if a character has a role that almost dies AND a role that does die, they’re listed as “has died in a play.”

For the full rundown of having died in a play (this is game-verse; mankai stage would change some things up--notably Kazu would go up into almost dies thanks to Paul’s new development):

Sympathy for the Angel: Michael (Tsumugi) fades away at the end to nothingness

Stranger: Dom (Banri), Jon (Juza), and Nine’s (Sakyo) fates are unclear after the lab explodes

A Clockwork Heart: I’m counting S (Citron) being deactivated as a death in spirit

Ginji the Wanderer: Yokota (Omi) is killed by Ginji; Ginji himself (Sakyo) and Kojima (Taichi) are both critically injured during fights with Yokota and his men

Nocturnality: Franz (Hisoka) and Reo (Azuma) are both vampires, which puts them in “dead the whole time;” however, Reo being stabbed by Izumi bumps him up to “almost dies”

The Wonderful Charlatan of Oz: It’s implied that the Wizards of the East (Tsuzuru) and West (Itaru) are killed offstage by Dorothy by the end of the play

DEAD/UNDEAD: Red (Omi) and Bill (Sakyo) are dead at the start of the play, but are also killed again; Abel (Azami) is techically? Sort of? Half? Dead the whole time but it’s ok Azami dies in a later play; Roy (Taichi) dies in the beginning and then comes back and dies again, making Taichi the true king of dying in plays

The Phantom of the Opera: Richard (Homare) and Erik (Guy) both don’t escape the fire, but their bodies are never found

Knights of the Round IV: Gareth (Masumi) dies in the battle to free Gwen from her wedding to Arthur; (Merlin is defeated but he’s like. a demon and very clearly alive in the very end so he doesn’t count. I also wasn’t sure about King Arthur’s illness, but I think it’s safe to say Merlin didn’t plan for him to die then so)

Die by the Sword: Tojiro (Homare) has an attempt on his life; Kojiro (Guy) is killed by Musashi in their duel

Fallen Blood: The ending is ambiguous enough for me to feel comfortable saying it’s unclear if Blood (Juza) makes it through that last day

Yin Yang Midnight: Geppaku (Citron) is killed by what amounts to magical recoil; Hisui (Guy) then allows himself to be slain

Stray Devil Blues: Walter (Omi) is killed offscreen; Cliff (Azami) is very much killed onscreen; Mark (Taichi) dies while trying to help Lucifer near the very end

Immortal Crow: Tsugunobu (Misumi) is wounded severely enough to put him out of commission for several scenes; Minamoto no Yoritomo’s (Chikage) fate is unclear after his battle with Kurou

+3Ghosts!: Sora (Kumon), Aoi (Kazunari), and Minato (Muku) are dead the whole play. However I’m not counting fading away after completing your unfinished business and finally being able to move on as a death

Twin Kingdoms: Gilbert (Tasuku) and Sasha (Azami) (and Lutz but Shift isn’t in the tier list) are struck down by the dragon and wouldn’t have made it if Cain hadn’t been able to defeat it

South. Hill. Prison.: Ren (Azami) is dead the whole time

[fischotterkunst]

I don’t feel like sleeping just yet and i feel like yapping a little before bedtime because i found out about a HUGE court case yesterday and i genuinely keep thinking about it; so bare with me and listen to the story of Rita Gorgonowa - the biggest crime story of pre war poland

Rita Gorgonowa, who’s real name was Margerita was born in 1901 in present day Croatia. She was most likely either Serbian or Croatian, her father died before her birth and her mother later on remarried, meanwhile Rita was sent off to her relatives and then to an orphanage. At fifteen, she married a lieutenant and later gave birth to a son, when her husband went to war, Rita and her child lived with her in laws. When ww1 ended he came back, but unfortunately he was suffering from a venereal disease which ultimately made them fall out - he went to America in search of a job while she stayed with his family. Not long after she got into a conflict with them, as they were (wrongly) accusing her of immoral acts, which ended up in her having to leave the household and give up her son to the in laws.

In 1924 she found herself in Lviv which back then was a Polish city. She got hired as a governess and a housekeeper at the villa of a wealthy architect Henryk Zaremba and his children: Lusia and Staś. He left his wife, who was sent to a psych ward a year prior because of her suicide attempt and, apparently, mental illness. They weren’t together anymore, but formally they were still married. At first everything was going well and Rita was getting along with Henryk’s children, but a year later they began having an affair, which Lusia; the eldest daughter did not approve of. She and Rita argued a lot. Ultimately, she got pregnant. They weren’t married so the child wouldn’t be legitimate but seems like they didn’t mind it, as both of them were still formally married. The tension between her and Lusia got even bigger, which (apparently, i’m not sure if this is 100% true ) resulted in Lusia getting sent abroad for some time. Eventually, the feud caused Rita and Henryk’s bond to worsen; starting from the new year’s day him and his children along with the servants were supposed to permanently move into a different house in Lviv, leaving his „wife”.

On the night of December 30-31 of 1931 Lusia was found dead in her room. Her brother Staś was awoken by their dog - he thought he was barking, which was a mistake as it was proved that it scowled from being hit by the culprit. The seventeen year old was hit in the head with a blunt tool. He woke up the other residents by his scream, not long after the military service was called (it was next to the house, it was called instead of the police because it was placed 2km away).

All the clues were strongly related to Rita, she was immediately arrested. Henryk was suspected as well, but ended up being released. Some also accused the family’s gardener, or the foreign boy who was in love with Lusia, however she rejected his confession. Rita kept stating that she’s innocent, but it was clear that it was one of the residents behind the murder. It was later inferred that Rita sneaked into her room and tried to make it look like a burglary and rape by opening the window. During her leave she encountered the dog, who she hit in the head, causing a loud noise from it - that awakened Staś. He later told that he saw a silhouette wearing a fur coat standing by the christmas tree. She wasn’t able to get into her room, so she broke one of the windows from the outside, wounding her hand. After that, she changed her stained nightshirt to a clean one and went to the scene of the crime, being called by Staś. The police later found a weapon thrown into the pool and a blood stained handkerchief. There were also stains on Rita’s fur coat. Lusia’s blood type was A, while Gorgonowa’s 0 - the A blood type was found both on the fur and the handkerchief. Lusia was buried on the fifth of january, only Staś attended the ceremony because Rita and Henryk were at the arrest.

Rita’s court case began in april. It was heavily discussed by the press and the entirety of Poland. Many people tried to take advantage of it by lying about being at the scene of the crime, working as a maid in their household, which was all obviously false. The public was convinced of the woman’s guilt. In may, she was sentenced to death by hanging, but it was eventually changed to eight years in prison due to not enough proof and errors during the investigation. The reason for giving her only eight years in prison is because of Lusia starting a feud with her. Rita was sent to jail in 1933 and was supposed to leave in 1940, but because of the nazi invasion of Poland she was amnestied on the third of september 1939.

During the occupation, she was at first living in Poznań, but then moved into the capital in 1940, in search to contact her daughter, who didn’t want to have anything to do with Rita. From 1941 to 1944 she lived near Lublin, where she was supposed to marry again and was selling meat. Soon after, her new husband was sent to jail and no one ever heard of him again. After the occupation ended she moved into the centre of Lublin, giving herself a fake name - Emilia Kańska. During the august of 1945 she moved to lower Silesia; and those were her final traces. It is not known what exactly happened to her and many theories exist. Some believe she was murdered in 1946, while others said she was apparently seen in the 50s and even 60s. Others stated that she moved to America, Italy or Yugoslavia. A small group of people also believe she was publicly hung by the gestapo in the november of 1939 in Łódź.

We don’t know where her grave is, when did she die, how did she die, however, in 2014 her daughter Ewa Illić (Illić was Rita’s maiden surname; the father did not approve of Ewa) and granddaughter Margarita looked forward to the resumption of the process, wanting to prove Rita innocent and that her sentence was caused by the massive outrage of the press, rather than justice. Her daughter stated that her mother’s reputation ruined her life: people were scared and terrified of her.

howwwwwww did you find all this information from such an old case??? man that is so interesting.... what do you think? do you think she did it?

[skylarmoon71]

Harrison Wells (Flash) - Oneshot

Harry has always been a bit of a distant person. Even though Team Flash was his family, there were still parts of his life that he kept from all of you. In a way you understood that. What happened with Jesse was an eye opener. You understood why he was always protective and guarded. 

That was years ago. 

Despite the progress made, you still felt like he was keeping something. It started a couple weeks ago after his trip back to earth 2. He returned much like he always did. Telling stories of Jesse and her team of heroes. Then of the new inventions he supervised when he had the time. He’d have his little arguments with Cisco and bicker about tech. But then on certain days, he wouldn't show up to the lab. He’d come back agitated and anxious. 

Tonight was the night. You were going to get the bottom of it. 

You’d snuck off to one of the empty rooms and decided to stake out Harry. Everyone pretty much left, and you knew if he saw you hanging around he would make some excuse as to why he wanted to be alone. 

It was already after nine. Peeking your head out, you ventured towards his quarters. 

“Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious.” 

You smiled at the thought, and when you broke the corner, you noticed his door was ajar. Tilting your head, you moved closer. The soft groans from the other side confused you. 

“Harry? Are you okay?” 

You pushed the door open, and you were stunned at the scene of a shirtless Harry. His hands were braced on the desk, and he was sweating. His glasses were gone and he appeared to sniff the air, turning around so quickly you were surprised he didn’t get whiplash.  

“(Y/N)..” 

Was it just you or did he growl?

“You have to leave.” His voice was strained and he looked angry. Now you are very concerned. You stepped inside, closing the door as you glared. 

“I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s going on. Start talking.” Your voice was firm. 

You felt a bit proud for standing your ground. At least you would have been. You blink, and it all seems unreal. Harry is by your side in a matter of seconds. Before you even have a chance to voice your surprise, your hands are slammed to the door. They are pinned. 

“H-Harry!” 

You aren’t sure what to do, because he’s strong. Unnaturally strong. He releases another growl and you swallow. You push your hips to try and get free of him, but nothing is working. His hips move forward, and now you’re completely bound. You whimper, more so when his tongue darts out and he licks your neck. The next thing you feel is his teeth piercing your skin and you cry out. Blood drips from the fangs that have penetrated you, and Harry guzzles the liquid. He gulps twice, and when he finally pulls back, you slide down the door, hand moving to your neck in shock. 

His eyes are dark. You can hardly see his irises. When they do become visible, you can see the hungry expression of his gaze change to confusion, then guilt and worry. He staggers back. 

“(Y/N)...” 

There’s fear in his tone, and you frown. What he expects is for you to run off in terror. What he gets is a completely different reaction. 

“SIT DOWN AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY BIT ME!! YOU BETTER HOPE IT DOESN’T LEAVE A MARK!!” 

Harry winces. 

Maybe he would have preferred you running off in fear.

~~~

“You were bitten by a vampire bat and you didn’t think to tell us?!” 

Harry frowns, watching the piece of gauze taped to your neck. 

“I had it under control. I was reckless on my last mission. I wasn’t the only one infected. I’ve managed to cure all the other explorers, but it seems my illness progressed further than I realized. It’s taken me longer to produce the antidote for my mutation. “ 

“Of course it is!! Damn it my neck hurts!!” 

Harry’s head lowers. 

“I’m..sorry. I really am. I thought that I had it controlled. The injections work for a few weeks but they are only temporary. That’s why I’ve been keeping a distance during three week intervals. “ 

His crestfallen expression makes you feel guilty. This isn’t really his fault. It’s obvious that when it happened he tried to heal everyone first. That’s just the kind of person he is. He’d put himself in harm’s way for others. 

You sigh.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for yelling. I was just so mad. This whole time I’ve been so worried. It’s aggravating that after all this time you still don’t trust us. If you have a problem you can lean on us. We’re your family Harry.” 

He knows that, of course he does. It’s just second nature for him to retreat and solve the problem on his own. Some habits were hard to break.

“I’m going to come clean. I’ll tell Ramon and the others everything in the morning.” 

You smile.

“Thank you.” 

Now that you’ve settled that situation, you need to get back to the task at hand. It’s not just your imagination, his face looks a bit pale. 

“Harry.” 

He knows that tone. 

“I’m fine. I just got careless. I miscalculated the dosage. I was trying to make more of the temporary sedative.” Your eyes shift to the table. There’s a few liquids and a mixer. 

“You were working on it, that’s why you were down here?”

He nods, and you can see the small droplets of sweat gathering on his forehead. His chest is still exposed. 

“I’m missing an ingredient and I..I don’t think I’m strong enough to get it.” He admits. 

“Does my blood help?” 

His fists tightened in his lap and you can see the way he turns his head. It looks like he’s taking a deep breath, when he exhales, it’s shaky. 

“Don’t..say that to me.” 

This is a serious situation. It’s not like you have a lot of options. He’s hurting, possibly dying and without this ingredient who knows what will happen. 

“Tell me how I can help you. I’m not going to sit here and watch you in pain. So either you tell me or I’ll take matters into my own hands.” You place your hand on the bandage and he rushes over. You jolt when he grabs your hands from your sitting position. You’ve noticed that this has come with its own little kicks. Because he’s faster and stronger than before. 

“Okay..okay.” He sounds breathless, and he guides you back to the couch. You both take a seat, and you wait expectantly. His cheeks are flushed. 

“My..my urges are stronger. Contrary to popular belief I don’t need all of your blood. I don’t even need a quarter of it. Half a glass is enough to stop the thirst for months. I’ve been running the numbers. I wanted to be safe in the event that I did lose control.” 

That does sound like him. 

“If it’s not fatal then it’s fine. I’ll just give you some blood and when you’re up to full strength you can make the antidote. Easy as pie.” 

He shakes his head. 

“Not easy as pie. Haven’t you noticed that I already took some of your blood. I should have been satiated already.”

He’s right.

“Then why didn’t it work?”

He looks a bit unsure of the right words to use.

“Because…it’s physical as much as it is chemical. The last time it got this bad I had a blood bag. But I needed another outlet otherwise it wouldn’t work.” 

You’re lost. 

“Then just spit it out, what do I have to do?”

He swallows. 

“I need you to help me..” He pauses. 

“Release.” 

Your brows knit. 

“Release. Release what?” 

His eyes move to you, and somehow you can read the answer to that question. 

Your cheeks burn.

“O-Oh!” 

That’s what he meant.

His head lowers in embarrassment. 

“I understand that this is asking a lot. It’s why I’ve been trying to solve this alone. You have no idea how humiliating this is.” He runs his hands through his hair. 

You get it. Harry is a naturally proud person. But this was next level. Of course he would run into a hole. 

“So the last time, did you get yourself off?” 

His head lifts and he looks at you shocked. 

“I-Is that really the question you’re asking right now!”  

You can’t help it, you’re curious. You reach for the bandage, and he’s about to protest, but the second it’s off, it’s like he’s lost all will to complain. He leans back against the couch, and you can’t help but appreciate how breathtaking he looks. Exposed and vulnerable. This is a man who always has it together. The sight before you is probably never going to occur again in this life. 

It would be a lie to say you aren’t a bit excited. It’s a bit of a secret, but you do have feelings for this man. Despite his standoffish attitude, he’s a good person. Even when he tries to hide it. 

“Tell me how to help.” It’s a whisper, and Harry bites down on his lip. He’s too weak to fight you any longer. Both verbally and physically. 

“Climb on top of me.” 

The statement brings a new kind of excitement. You nod, moving over to straddle his hips. His breathing is still a bit staggered as he drinks in the sight of you. You lower your hips, looking down at him. 

“Is this okay?” 

He nods. 

“It’s perfect.” His hands move to your hips as he leans forward, and you squeak when you feel something hard poking you between your thighs. Harry lets out a hiss, hands moving up your back. You nearly lose yourself when his lips move to your neck, inhaling deeply. 

“Can I take off your shirt?” 

He asks softly against your ear. You agree with a huff, and his hands slide along the edge, pulling it slowly over your head. It drops at the side, and he pulls back to admire. You feel a bit self conscious under his gaze. You refuse to look directly at him. But he guides your gaze and when those eyes meet your own, any insecurity jumps right out the window. 

“I need.to drink..” 

You almost forgot the whole point of this. 

“Y-Yes of course.” 

You try to remain completely still when his thumb brushes the bruise he’d left behind. There’s clearly hesitance. You can feel it in his touch, see it in his eyes. 

“Nothing is going to happen to me.” You reassure him. Harry would forever be stubborn. You smile, running your hand down his neck when he finally leans in. His tongue touches your skin, and when those fangs meet, this time you’re prepared. A little sound still leaves your lips. You can hear him drinking, and it’s strangely arousing. Your legs are shaking and he pulls away after a few seconds, licking the excess blood both along your skin and on his lips. His eyes hold what you can describe as raw desire. You can still feel him between your legs. Harry grips your thighs, and you moan when he pulls you closer. The friction is too good. 

“Grind on me.” 

It sounds like an order. 

One you’re happy to oblige to. You hold unto him, and your bare chest touching is better than any fantasy you could have conjured. You press your hips down, rocking to a steady rhythm. Every time his member touches your core, you think you’ll explode right there. Harry is barely keeping it together himself. He holds you to him, determined to reach the release you’re both craving. His deep moans are ringing in your ear, and you can’t seem to stop your own. You want to be free of your clothes. You want to feel more. When he sees you reaching for the button of your pants, he grabs your hand. 

“I-I can’t..” 

He sounds like he’s holding himself back. You manage a desperate sob. You need more. You’re so close. 

He reaches for you, pulling you in for a kiss, and that seems to be the weight that breaks the dam. Your tongues are colliding desperately, and he’s still thrusting against you even after you’ve reached your limit. His own follows, and he pulls back with a groan. You’re both panting, struggling to catch your breath. You’re still gathering yourself, but you can see the color begin to return to his face. He’s beginning to look like himself and you laugh, slumping against his body.

“Vampires rule.” You mutter. 

Harry lets out a soft laugh of his own. 

[blueiight]

Okay yay! I’ve been thinking about this all day and thought it’d be fun to ask you 🤗

I was thinking Armand at first for me. But I think it might actually be Lestat tbh! I think i. some ways I have things he tends to latch onto.

I wouldn’t want to be turned by Armand bc from what I learned about him and Daniel idk and if Im not wrong doesn’t he not want to turn people? like what state would i have to be in order for that to happen. I almost feel like i would rather already be a vamp of i had to encounter Armand ngl. I only want to be turned by Louis if its like he’s genuinely saving my life and I asked otherwise I dont think it would be very enjoyable. idk anything about the books so hopefully i’d be an exception to the fail fledglings lol. think i’d end up leaving him tho and doing my own thing. Lestat….it almost seems like he would back me into the corner and whether i chose him or not I’d be turned so if you know some witches then HELP MEE!!!

I only dont want Louis to kill me bc i feel like the whole ting would be so sad. He would be so upset by it. bc Im black and queer now Im comforting him like “its okay Louis your a vamp its in your nature!” while he killing me all tortured! Armand would enjoy himself tooooo much. He experimental and shiiii idk. Lestat, I only choose him bc I feel like there’s a chance I might get that little orgasm trick he does at some point in the night like it might not be to the rings of saturn and back but I might have a point were i’m enjoying myself. 🫣

Im obsessed w how u think fr. well its also like book dan was in a shitshow of his own creation of sorts , armand finds him when hes broke as fuck after blowing the bag he got from in universe interview release on bullshit. armand’s aversion to turning dan specifically was bc daniel was his sort of ‘mentor in humanity’ & the nature of their relationship changed when daniel was turned. theres a whole rigmarole that goes into armand’s aversion to turning others in general thats tied to some foundational shit in how he see himself & stuff from way back in his day namely w losing his human companions to the ~dark gift~ tho not of his volition but bc mari thought turning syb + ben would make mand feel less alone oss.. but show mand w assad sexy self can find me & ill change his mind ;^)but i digress lol the type of witches i mess w would give u some good things to evade the evil gay demons haunting me& u loll. and no awww ur so sweet to louis.. i like to see him tormented lolz. i want louis to kill me precisely bc im also a black queer[bi] woman… ima be like come take this dick[my body, my blood, flesh] like niggas like u always do smfh ;^). it dont make sense but nobody ever called blueiight a genius. i jus like to see lou sad & ur so real for the les orgasm trick. hopefully all 3 of them know how to get down. n get freaky. we need more sexy feeding scenes in s2

[dllrnr]

I don’t feel like sleeping just yet and i feel like yapping a little before bedtime because i found out about a HUGE court case yesterday and i genuinely keep thinking about it; so bare with me and listen to the story of Rita Gorgonowa - the biggest crime story of pre war poland

Rita Gorgonowa, who’s real name was Margerita was born in 1901 in present day Croatia. She was most likely either Serbian or Croatian, her father died before her birth and her mother later on remarried, meanwhile Rita was sent off to her relatives and then to an orphanage. At fifteen, she married a lieutenant and later gave birth to a son, when her husband went to war, Rita and her child lived with her in laws. When ww1 ended he came back, but unfortunately he was suffering from a venereal disease which ultimately made them fall out - he went to America in search of a job while she stayed with his family. Not long after she got into a conflict with them, as they were (wrongly) accusing her of immoral acts, which ended up in her having to leave the household and give up her son to the in laws.

In 1924 she found herself in Lviv which back then was a Polish city. She got hired as a governess and a housekeeper at the villa of a wealthy architect Henryk Zaremba and his children: Lusia and Staś. He left his wife, who was sent to a psych ward a year prior because of her suicide attempt and, apparently, mental illness. They weren’t together anymore, but formally they were still married. At first everything was going well and Rita was getting along with Henryk’s children, but a year later they began having an affair, which Lusia; the eldest daughter did not approve of. She and Rita argued a lot. Ultimately, she got pregnant. They weren’t married so the child wouldn’t be legitimate but seems like they didn’t mind it, as both of them were still formally married. The tension between her and Lusia got even bigger, which (apparently, i’m not sure if this is 100% true ) resulted in Lusia getting sent abroad for some time. Eventually, the feud caused Rita and Henryk’s bond to worsen; starting from the new year’s day him and his children along with the servants were supposed to permanently move into a different house in Lviv, leaving his „wife”.

On the night of December 30-31 of 1931 Lusia was found dead in her room. Her brother Staś was awoken by their dog - he thought he was barking, which was a mistake as it was proved that it scowled from being hit by the culprit. The seventeen year old was hit in the head with a blunt tool. He woke up the other residents by his scream, not long after the military service was called (it was next to the house, it was called instead of the police because it was placed 2km away).

All the clues were strongly related to Rita, she was immediately arrested. Henryk was suspected as well, but ended up being released. Some also accused the family’s gardener, or the foreign boy who was in love with Lusia, however she rejected his confession. Rita kept stating that she’s innocent, but it was clear that it was one of the residents behind the murder. It was later inferred that Rita sneaked into her room and tried to make it look like a burglary and rape by opening the window. During her leave she encountered the dog, who she hit in the head, causing a loud noise from it - that awakened Staś. He later told that he saw a silhouette wearing a fur coat standing by the christmas tree. She wasn’t able to get into her room, so she broke one of the windows from the outside, wounding her hand. After that, she changed her stained nightshirt to a clean one and went to the scene of the crime, being called by Staś. The police later found a weapon thrown into the pool and a blood stained handkerchief. There were also stains on Rita’s fur coat. Lusia’s blood type was A, while Gorgonowa’s 0 - the A blood type was found both on the fur and the handkerchief. Lusia was buried on the fifth of january, only Staś attended the ceremony because Rita and Henryk were at the arrest.

Rita’s court case began in april. It was heavily discussed by the press and the entirety of Poland. Many people tried to take advantage of it by lying about being at the scene of the crime, working as a maid in their household, which was all obviously false. The public was convinced of the woman’s guilt. In may, she was sentenced to death by hanging, but it was eventually changed to eight years in prison due to not enough proof and errors during the investigation. The reason for giving her only eight years in prison is because of Lusia starting a feud with her. Rita was sent to jail in 1933 and was supposed to leave in 1940, but because of the nazi invasion of Poland she was amnestied on the third of september 1939.

During the occupation, she was at first living in Poznań, but then moved into the capital in 1940, in search to contact her daughter, who didn’t want to have anything to do with Rita. From 1941 to 1944 she lived near Lublin, where she was supposed to marry again and was selling meat. Soon after, her new husband was sent to jail and no one ever heard of him again. After the occupation ended she moved into the centre of Lublin, giving herself a fake name - Emilia Kańska. During the august of 1945 she moved to lower Silesia; and those were her final traces. It is not known what exactly happened to her and many theories exist. Some believe she was murdered in 1946, while others said she was apparently seen in the 50s and even 60s. Others stated that she moved to America, Italy or Yugoslavia. A small group of people also believe she was publicly hung by the gestapo in the november of 1939 in Łódź.

We don’t know where her grave is, when did she die, how did she die, however, in 2014 her daughter Ewa Illić (Illić was Rita’s maiden surname; the father did not approve of Ewa) and granddaughter Margarita looked forward to the resumption of the process, wanting to prove Rita innocent and that her sentence was caused by the massive outrage of the press, rather than justice. Her daughter stated that her mother’s reputation ruined her life: people were scared and terrified of her.

That is such an interesting case thank you for sharing it with me :000

[yuanvei]

Long message 💌 Hello Yuan! This is 🍋 anon! I woke up this morning and saw that you finally posted xo lvl 2 right when I fell asleep lol seeing the 23k wc, I knew I was in for a long ride so I rushed to do my chores in order to read it right away!

Damn, this fic was darker than I thought it was gonna be. The intro got me so hooked, it was so so good. I can’t help but feel pity for the protagonist :( I’m so invested in this story and I really felt like crying whenever she struggled.

Minji is so kind, I’m worried what will happen to her. I have a theory about Minji but I could be wrong and just overthinking it. Also, I love Hee’s character! His conversation with the protagonist was kinda funny to me. When he stayed behind after Minji and Jungwon left, I already guessed what the poll was going to be about and DREADED it. This is so hard! What if we choose the wrong thing?? Also, I loved the song references you sneaked in there 👀

Iirc, you said back then you wouldn’t write for Enha anymore (maybe excluding Jungwon), but seeing your recent posts, I guess you changed your mind. You’re my fave writer fr. I love Jungwon so much and I’m thankful he’s your muse (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) Have you seen En-Drama? It’s how I imagined the members throughout the whole time reading. XO (and your works in general) would be a huge hit if it was a drama, you’re THAT good.

I also wanna say that your layout is immaculate. And please don’t ever doubt or downplay your writing because it’s beyond just amazing. Trust me. It’s so immersive and really draws you in. Magnetic, if I may say. I aspire and strive to be a writer as good as you are. You’re definitely gonna be a successful mangaka someday.

I’m already excited (and nervous!) for the upcoming levels even though we have to wait for a while. I know this fic took a long time to create and you said you’ll do your other film projects so I hope you get some good rest and good luck with your studies as well! Keep safe always, and we love you 💓

🍋 nonnie !! :(( i cried lol- u have no idea how my heart dropped when i saw this ask from my notifs cuz like i was rlly sad bc there's barely any anon ask beside yours, so i thought ys;xo flops bc no one is interested enough to talk about it.. but your ask RLLY MADE MY DAYY THANK YOUUU SM FOR THIS SWEET MESSAGE<33 im vv grateful for u for taking your time to write this 🫶🫶

i'm so glad you love the intro as much as i do!! and the fact that u feel sm for the protagonist too, she is prob one of my complex protagonists as of now. and it's only going to get rlly rlly dark w the upcoming levels.

you can tell me more bout your theories hehe but i won't be able to tell more bc no spoilers 🤫🤫 im glad hee's character was lovable bc i keep giggling as well while writing his scene w mc >< ALSO IM HAPPY U NOTICE THE SONG REFERENCES

oh about enha, yep tbh I've kind of lose interest in them n and jungwon was the only reason why im still around but i have to say this comeback w xo and brought the heat back is def my fav !! not to mention that jake is looking too good recently—very much influenced by a cantonese film i've watched recently. 🤭

and about en-drama — i don't rlly catch up w enha's updates apart from their mvs & comebacks, I've seen en-drama many times on my yt but it doesn't rlly catch my interest, however i might watch it one of these days to get an inspo for ys;xo :D BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME THANK YOUU ,, i'm very happy that u think so :((

i'm glad u like my layout btw !! 😭 and once again thank you thank you VERY MUCHHH for all these encouraging words, i appreciate it from the bottom of my heart 🫠🫶 it's so sweet of u to spend sm of your time writing this and it's making me emotional lol ,, and yes you're going to become an amazing writer too, maybe even more better than me ! >:)) it's going to be a journey, but fighting and ik u can do it !! 🫶 and the mangaka part PLS ill keep these words forever in my heart I WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS THANK UUU

you're very kind 😭😭 im so happy you're around 🍋 anonnie,, i'll make to sure deliver a more better story thru xo level 3 !! have a good rest too !! stay safe, and take care 🥹🫶