#thanks to everyone who sent one of these in

[arcanenewswatch]

Arcane Newswatch - Day 1085: Farewell

After 1085 days of waiting, 573 days of it tracked by this account, Arcane has returned. With that, the count is finally finished and there is nothing left but to say farewell. I thank you all, everyone who liked and reblogged and sent the asks that helped me break up the monotony of posting the same picture every single day; I won’t lie, there were some tough and exceptionally boring stretches, especially there in the Day 700 range, but you all helped me power through and make it to the end. Also, I’d like to extend a collective thank you for all the kind messages sent to the inbox over the last couple days. While there’s a few too many to respond to, I’ve read every one of them and it truly means a lot to me

I’ll be leaving this blog open, a time capsule of sorts for however long Tumblr exists as a platform. But barring a surprise season 3 announcement from Riot one day, this is where we must say goodbye. It’s never easy to shut the lights off and lock the door on the way out, especially for something as relatively long-running as this turned out to be (I earnestly believed Arcane was returning in a year or less when I started this in April 2023), but the time has finally come. If you wish to follow my other, equally obsessive Arcane works (and if you can forgive me for a bit of self-promotion), my fics can be found on AO3 under NatDammit. But regardless of whether we meet again in the comments section of one fic or another, or if this is indeed our final goodbye, I hope you all enjoy the new season and I wish you all the best. Thanks for coming along for the ride

This is Nat from Arcane Newswatch, signing off

[rafecameronssl4t]

Chosen p.t 2 || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader love island au

Summary: read part one here

Warnings: angst

Word count: 1,173

A/n: help i forgot i had this in my queue LOL mb!!!

MASTERLIST (love island au masterlist)

divider by @h-aewo

You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Rafe’s absence a hollow ache beside you. You’d grown used to the warmth of his arm around you, the gentle rise and fall of his chest that lulled you to sleep each night. Without him, the bed felt colder, lonelier, and you couldn’t shake the memory of Kayla’s confident words as she chose him, as if she held a secret you didn’t.

Leah rubbed your arm in comfort, her eyes softening. “Yeah, must be tough after last night. The whole situation was shit. I don’t know what Kayla was thinking.” You managed a small smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Neither do I, honestly. Rafe said there was nothing to worry about, but then she just… picked him. It just doesn’t make sense.”

You caught Sofia’s gaze, and she gave you a small, reassuring nod. “Maybe it’s not as deep as it seems,” she offered. “Maybe she just picked him because he looks good on paper—he’s confident, attractive, all that. She probably just wanted attention.” You nodded, trying to take comfort in her words, but the unease still simmered.

You nodded, trying to find comfort in her words, but the uncertainty still twisted inside you. Rafe had reassured you last night, had looked you in the eyes and held your hand with that steady, familiar touch that always made you feel seen. But now, with the memory of Kayla confidently choosing him and the doubt simmering beneath, it was harder to trust that feeling.

Leah’s voice broke the silence, softer now. “Have you talked to him about it?” You sighed, closing your eyes briefly as if that might ease the knot in your chest. “He tried last night. But I… I couldn’t. I was too hurt, too angry. I didn’t even know if I could believe him.”

Sofia’s hand found yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I think he’s probably feeling the same, People make decisions that don’t always make sense because they’re worried about what everyone thinks.” You leaned your head back, closing your eyes for a moment as you tried to steady your breathing.

Maybe they were right—maybe it was all just the game getting in your head, Kayla’s pick a calculated move, an attempt to create drama or stir things up. But the memory of Rafe looking away as Sophie announced your single status felt too raw to ignore.

~

Later that morning, as you sat in the makeup room, humming softly to yourself as you applied your skincare, a knock sounded at the door. The other girls exchanged glances, then called out, “Yeah, we’re dressed!” The door creaked open, and Rafe peeked in, his gaze instantly landing on you. He lingered in the doorway, holding a tray with coffee and breakfast.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his expression somewhere between hopeful and tentative. “Brought you breakfast.“ You blinked, caught off guard by the gesture. “Thanks,” you replied softly, surprised at how sincere he looked, how he seemed to truly want to make up for the night before. He set the tray down beside you and took a step back, as if unsure whether he should stay.

“Could we�� talk?” he asked, his gaze flickering to the other girls, who quickly exchanged sympathetic glances. Leah gave you a small nod, then ushered everyone else out with a quiet, “Alright, let’s go, girls.” You sent her a grateful look as they slipped out, leaving you alone with Rafe.“Can I sit?” he asked, watching you closely, his eyes searching for any sign of welcome.

You nodded, and he pulled up a chair, watching you as you took a sip of coffee. It was exactly how you liked it, and that little detail twisted something in your chest. Neither of you spoke for a moment, the silence thick with unspoken words. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to meet your eyes.

“I need you to believe me,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper. “I swear, I didn’t think she’d actually pick me. I thought I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested.” You looked away, biting down on the emotions that threatened to spill over. “Rafe, you don’t understand. You were there, comforting me, telling me everything was fine… and then she chose you. It felt like a slap in the face.”

He nodded, his expression pained. “I know. And I’m so sorry. I tried to make it clear to her, but I should’ve done more. I shouldn’t have let her think there was even a chance. I just… I don’t want to lose you over this.” For the first time, his words began to chip away at your hurt. His eyes held that raw sincerity, the vulnerability that he rarely let anyone see.

And as much as you wanted to cling to the anger, to shield yourself from the fear of being hurt again, a part of you knew he was being honest. You bit your lip, studying his face as he spoke, trying to gauge his sincerity. He looked back at you, a hint of desperation in his gaze that you couldn’t ignore. “You have to believe me,” he continued, voice almost a whisper. “I don’t want anyone else. It’s just you.”

Your shoulders relaxed, the anger ebbing slightly, though the doubt was still there. “Okay, Rafe,” you said finally, your tone soft but uncertain. “But actions speak louder than words. If you really mean it, you’ll have to prove it.” He nodded earnestly, relief flickering in his eyes as he reached for your hand.

“I will,” he promised. “I’ll prove it every single day if I have to. Just… give me a chance.” You nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, then smiled—a genuine, soft smile that reminded you of all the moments that had made you fall for him in the first place. “Finish your breakfast,” he murmured, nodding toward the tray. “I’ll be right here.”

[moonstruckme]

Hi!! I had surgery a few weeks ago and I’m definitely hitting a wall mentally. I’ve been so sad with recovery and I’m so exhausted and cranky (unfortunately). I was wondering if you could write an emt!marauders or poly!marauders w reader going through that?? Thank you! Your writing has been a huge comfort for me during this time 🩷

Hi lovely! I realize it's been a while since you sent this so I hope you're feeling much much better now! Thanks for requesting <3

cw: post-op recovery, shoulder injury

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 727 words

James enters the bedroom to witness three stages of wakefulness. There’s Remus where he left him, fluffy haired and squinty eyed scrolling through his phone. One of Remus’ hands is toying idly with the ends of Sirius’ hair, who’s still dead asleep next to him, on his stomach with his face pushing into the pillow (James has never been able to figure out how he can breathe like that). Then there’s you, just sitting up with a groan and a sour look on your face. His angel. 

“Here, love.” James sets the coffee he’d brought for Remus on the nightstand, making sure the handle is facing him. Remus’ thanks is croaky with drowsiness, his smile gentle. James says to you, “Morning. How’d you sleep?” 

“Hard,” you mumble. You shrug your one shoulder experimentally, and grimace. “Too hard.” 

Remus makes a sympathetic sound, looking at you over the rim of his mug. “Did you sleep on it wrong?” 

“No.” You sound a tad defensive. “I was on my back all night.” 

Remus hums. “This is what happens when you don’t do your stretches at night, dovey.” 

You scowl. James ruffles Remus’ hair. “Be nice,” he chides. “You could do some stretching now, angel.” 

Sirius makes a disgruntled sleepy sound, rolling onto his side to wrap his arms around your waist. He settles his head contentedly on the plushness of your thigh. “Everyone shut up,” he grumbles. “And stop getting up.” 

“We’re not getting up,” James placates him. “She’s only doing her stretches.” 

“But it hurts,” you whine. 

“That’s why you do your stretches, sweetheart.” Remus gives you a look. 

James can feel you getting irritated. You’ve been recovering from your surgery for weeks now, and you’re growing exhausted not only with all the things you can’t do with your shoulder but also all the things you have to do to build back its strength and mobility. He goes to the dresser as you slump forward into your own lap, hapless. 

“Come on,” he laughs, tossing you your towel. “You can start with the towel one first. That one’s fit.” 

You look up at James. “It is not.” 

“Y’always look good, babe,” Sirius mumbles into your thigh. 

“See? And extra good when you stretch your arms like that.”

“He’s dead to the world.” You roll your eyes, though you’re petting Sirius’ hair fondly. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” 

Still, you sigh and pick up the towel when Remus nudges it towards you pointedly, rolling your neck in preparation. James feels a bit of warmth come to his face (he was only partly joking about how attractive you are when you stretch). 

It’s a bit difficult for you at first, clearly, the result of growing a bit lax about your stretches over the past few days. James can see Remus’ lips press together like he’s physically restraining himself from commenting on it. A low whine builds in your throat. 

“There you go,” says Sirius in a salacious tone. James is beginning to suspect he’s more awake than he’s letting on. “Tell us how you really feel, sweetheart.” 

“This is so pointless,” you grumble. “It’s too lame to do anything.” 

“Don’t say that,” James chides you. It’s not his intention to make you feel like you can’t vent to them, but James is firmly of the belief that ceasing negative talk will eventually lead to an abatement of negative thoughts. “It’s working, you just need to give it time. You’re tons better than you were a couple of weeks ago, right?” 

“If you mean I can pick up an empty soda can,” you say drily, “then yes.” 

“That is what I mean. Empty soda cans are a big step.” 

“It’s a process,” Remus tells you in a more placating tone. “You can’t expect to be all the way better overnight. Especially not if you’re not doing your stretches.” 

You don’t miss the judgment threaded through that last bit, your expression turning sour again. Sirius appears to sense this without opening his eyes. He hugs you around the middle, smearing a kiss over your thigh. 

“You’ll get there, lovie,” says James. “And hey, if it’ll help, I can sit with you while you do your stretches every day. I wouldn’t mind that at all.” 

Remus snorts, and Sirius mumbles something into your skin that sounds like “I’ll bet you wouldn’t.”

[relia-robot-writes]

I am the Princess in the Tower.

You know, people hear that, and they say, "Oh, that poor Princess, she must be so lonesome up there. Some cruel fate must have befallen her, to be trapped so."

It's true, to a certain extent. I am lonesome. There's no shortage of princes and princesses - I have to wonder where they all come from - who come to try to rescue me from my captivity. None of them ever get particularly close, of course. The Tower is surrounded by a dark and tangled wood, monsters of flesh and stone stalk the grounds, invisible barriers and devious traps block all entry, and even if they got to the base of the Tower, they'd have to figure out how to climb up a sheer, frictionless vertical surface while automatically triggered fireballs rained down upon them... it's pretty well defended, is what I'm trying to say. Every single one of them gets sent packing, cursing the wizard who built the Tower and imprisoned me.

Which is, you know, pretty funny, when you get right down to it.

I mean, it's only natural to assume that, right? Wizards are mysterious, they pop in and out all the time. If one decides to suddenly vanish one day, well, he's probably just off calculating the angles of reality, or whatever, he'll be back. And if a girl appears in his Tower, well, of course he kidnapped a Princess for his own unfathomable wizard purposes.

It hardly matters that there aren't any kingdoms missing a Princess.

I don't correct them, anyway. It's safer for me if nobody knows who I am, or how I've changed. Safety was, after all, why I built the Tower in the first place. You think wizards do this for fun? Out in the middle of nowhere, forced to conjure food and water? Having to walk up and down twenty flights of stairs if I feel like going outside?

Wizards build towers when they are scared shitless.

See, I cast this divination spell when I was an apprentice, and I fucked it up. It constantly shows me visions of my own doom...

Not buying it?

Well, there was this devil, see, and I tricked him into thinking I'd signed my soul away, so now he stalks me forever, seeking vengeance through the very shadows themselves...

No good?

Well, I was cursed as a wee babe, and now all the world is my enemy, from the mightiest warrior to the softest blade of grass, and each one thirsts for my blood!

...I would have died to that one, like, immediately, huh.

Okay. Fine. I'm just... a coward. I built my Tower as far away from everything and everyone that could possibly do me harm as I could. I studied magic because it felt like the best way to avoid any and all hard work, conflict, and danger. I held off on telling anyone anything about who I truly was or what I wanted until I felt I could be absolutely safe.

And still, with "rescuers" at my door just waiting for my hand, I can't bear to look at them. The idea of one even getting close enough to attempt to climb the Tower (it's happened more than once) is terrifying. I could ask them to stop, but who would believe me? "Yes, I, the Princess in the Tower, am totes fine, please go away forever thanks, I am not an evil wizard." That'd go over well.

There's another princess that just made her way through the Woods and slayed one of my constructs. She'll be at the Tower base soon. She's got really pretty hair

I wish

I hope that you

Please don't

I'm writing this down here, and then I'm gonna go hide. If you're reading this,

The blue-armored princess flipped the paper over to the other side. It was blank. Her hair smoldered from the fireball she'd almost dodged, and she drummed her fingers on the hilt of her blade as she reread the first side. Aside from the paper, the room - and, indeed, the entire interior of the Tower - seemed completely empty.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Enemies (Part Four) (Rafe Cameron)

Description: Takes place during episode 9

Word Count: 1,820

Warning: Smut

Part One Part Two Part Three

The arms around her kept her safe. Nobody and no thought could hurt her when she was in these arms. A savior or even an angel that was sent to protect her from harm's way. The arms that were keeping her safe through the night belong to Rafe Cameron. 

Her eyes opened and she groaned as her body ached of sweet release and pain. She sighed and snuggled back into the arms of Rafe. “Rafe.” She tried to say but her voice was scratchy thanks to him. He chuckled and kissed the back of her head.

She turned in his arms and faced him with a glare. “Pretty awesome way to lose your voice.” He states with a cocky smirk. “Screaming my name as I fuck you over and over again.” He teased knowing her body wasn’t up for it. “You’re a dick.” She managed out but there was a playfulness to her tone. She leaned over and kissed him with a smile on her face. 

The Pogues hadn’t heard from her in a few days. They didn’t even see her run and they didn’t even know that she was with Rafe. But as much as they loved her they were glad she was not there with them. Running from the cops.

JJ was okay but both him and Pope were in big trouble. Sarah wanted to tell her the big secret but hoped that she was okay. Y/N had no idea that her friends were in danger while she fucked the enemy. 

Hollis was dead and Rafe was pacing around the living room. Y/N on the couch watching him. “It wasn’t JJ.” Rafe said like he for sure knew. “It was Groff and he took my money.” Y/N knew that it wasn’t JJ but the Groff thing kind of surprised her.

Rafe told her everything about Hollis and Groff. “Okay so we should go tell the police.” She told him. “Yeah but first let’s take a walk.” He says and she smiles. 

“I can’t believe JJ did that.” Y/N whispered. Rafe grabbed her hand and she didn’t pull away. She stared at the ground as they walked when Rafe noticed the cops. “Quick over here.” She gasped as she saw her friends trying to steal a boat. “Rafe.” She whispered. They ducked down and could hear them talk. “They know where Groff is.” She whispered. “Don’t make it known you're here.” He warns her as the cops try to arrest them. She smiled as she saw them take their boat. Her friends were dumbasses but she loved them. 

“So you’ll take us to look for the treasure?” She asked with hope in her eyes. “I want my money but if that’s what it takes then yes.” He plays with the ring he has in his pocket that was his moms. He knew it was too soon so he was gonna take it with them just in case. “I’ll get the cops off their back and I’ll take you guys to wherever Groff is at.” He promises. She kisses him as a thank you and puts her hope and faith into him. He pulls away from the kiss, “Do you know where they are hiding?” 

Shoupe arrives before Rafe and Y/N do and he’s about to take away JJ and Pope. They had no other end and no saving or plan at this point. Sarah gasps as she sees Y/N and her brother? “Y/N?” She asks in shock and everyone turns to see her and Rafe.

  Her nerves about what they would think did not hit until they noticed her. She knew of Rafe’s plan but they did not. “I can take them to get Groff.” Everyone besides Y/N was shocked at his words. He had convinced Shoupe to let them go and find Groff. After Shoupe had left the others turned to Y/N, “So that’s where you were?” Kie asked.

Y/N’s face was red, this wasn’t how she wanted them to find out. “Look I was keeping her safe while you guys were out being criminals.” He put an arm around Y/N who didn’t push him away. “Look we can talk about this later we got a crown to find.” John B said. 

The boat was huge and nothing like she’s ever stayed on. All of the Pogues were happy that this was happening but felt uneasy around Rafe. “I’m sorry Y/N, I don’t trust him. We don’t trust him.” JJ said. “He got us this boat and is taking us to find the treasure. He doesn’t want it, He wants the money Groff took from him.” She exclaims. Rafe could hear them and he smiled at her words.

“Y/N do you actually believe that?” John B asked her. Sure Rafe wasn’t such a good person but after everything with JJ and Groff it wasn’t unbelievable that he would do something like that. “Yes. Groff is shitty.” “That doesn’t mean that Rafe isn’t lying.” She sighs. “Then go talk to him.” She told the group. “Except you.” She said to JJ who looked at her in disbelief. “I agree with her on that one.” Kie said. Everyone besides JJ goes to Rafe who was stirring the boat.

“Rafe.” Y/N said his name and he turned to find everyone with her. She walked up to him and let John B talk. Peace was never an option with JJ who knocked Rafe out. “JJ!” Y/N yelled at him. She got on the ground to check on him. “I would have done it if he didn’t.” Pope said, causing Y/N to glare. “I’m sorry Y/N but we don’t trust your boyfriend.” “He doesn’t want the crown! He wants the money that Groff took from him!” She yelled at her friends. “Why don’t you believe me?” “It’s not you, we don’t believe it’s him.” 

Rafe woke up and was tied up. Sarah decided to bring him the food. “They don’t trust you, Rafe. Only Y/N does.” “I want to see her.” He tells her. “She won’t untie you.” Though Y/N really wanted to. “Let me see her.” He said, ignoring her. Sarah sighs and gets Y/N.

Y/N walks in the room and sits by him. “I want to let you go but they would kill me or you might kill them.” He chuckled at her words. “I told you I wanted to be a better person. You’re making that easy but they are making that hard.” She lays her head on his shoulder and sighs, “I wish that they could see that you’re telling the truth.”

Though she knew that they had no right too. He did awful things to them so why would they? Sarah had said that to him and it stuck in his mind. Y/N stayed down there with him until she was hungry, she told him that she would be back later and before he could protest, she was gone. 

“Why him?” Kie asked as she and Sarah ate with Y/N. “There is so much I never told you guys.” She told them everything. How Rafe approached her at a party and would never leave her alone. How he would constantly follow her even when she tried to push him away. How he asked her to be with him multiple times. How he was there for her.

“Wow.” Kie said and Sarah gave her a little smile. “Depending on how this goes. I might give you my blessing.” They all laugh. “So wait, are you guys together?” Kie asked. Truth be told they never put a label on it but it seemed as if they were. “Well yeah. I would take what’s going on between us like that.” She shrugged. 

“So I was thinking that since you’re tied up and you can’t do anything I will do this.” He gasps as she unzips his pants. “You’re being serious right now?” He asked. She didn’t respond and pulled out his dick, which was very hard. She looks up at him, “You’re asking me that? I’m not the one who’s hard as a rock.” She teases and runs her thumb over the tip.

He sucks in a deep breath as her hand moves up and down his dick. She watches him as he bites his lip to keep from moaning. The others did not need to know what was going on. Her hand moves faster and he lets out a little whimper, “shit.” She smirks and lowers her head until his tip was near her mouth.

Her hand slowing down. He thrusts his hips up and she sits up again, “Rafe you aren’t in any position to call the shots.” She teases and he huffs. “Come on Y/N.” He begs. Her hand stops moving and Rafe almost whines. “I have THE Kook king himself, Rafe Cameron whining for me to suck his cock.” She says and lays down so that she is on her stomach. Her hands placed on his thighs as licks up his dick. He sighs in pleasure at the feeling.

She smirks and takes the tip in her mouth. Her tongue ran along it. He closed his eyes and let out a soft moan as she finally gave him what he wanted. His dick was finally in her mouth as she gave him the craziest blowjob of his life. She hummed on him causing the vibration to shoot straight up his body.

Oh how he wished that he could run his hands through her hair. He was moaning like he was in heat as his high was approaching. “Fuck Y/N. I’m close!” He moaned out. She didn’t stop until he was cumming down her throat. She pulled off of him and swallowed every drop he gave her. She wiped her mouth and sighed. “That was kinky” She said and he laughed.

“That was hot.” He said and she leaned in and kissed him. But before their lips could touch the boat started going crazy. “What the hell?” He said. She went to get up and check but fell down and the red alert went off. “I have to get you free.” She said and tried standing again. She gripped the wall for support and went out the door.

“Kie hand me a knife.” Kie looked for one in the drawers and gave it to her. Y/N got back to Rafe and cut him loose. They made their way out of there and to the others. She heard John B yelling and ran out to where he was, Rafe following her. “Sarah.” Rafe yelled and tears built up in Y/N’s eyes. She saw JJ throw a raft in the water and tell Sarah he was coming. “JJ it’s too dangerous.” Y/N yells at him but he jumps in the water. Y/N watches as the waves cover her friends and she lets out a sob. Rafe pulls her to his chest as she starts screaming and crying all over again. 

[endearng]

About you

Pairing: Spencer Reid x ex!reader Summary: You know a place that you go to remember Spencer Reid's face. You never thought you'd get to actually see him again. WC: 4.6k Warnings: brief mentions of Spencer's trauma (childhood, addiction); hints at poor coping mechanisms/mental struggles; miscommunication; running away. A/N: This is a mix between canon events and some things are fiction (mostly when it comes to the timeline of the show) and I picture later seasons Spencer. This is based on many songs from ttpd, but this fic came to mind when I was listening to 'About You' by the 1975. I really hope you guys like it. Feedbacks are always welcome and appreciated <3 masterlist

You sat on one of the park benches. Actually, it was on the park bench, near a tree, you used to occupy with Spencer after getting your favorite treats from the coffee shop nearby.

It was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend and he had started reading to you once the chatter had died down a little bit. He looked beautiful that day, eyes leaving the book pages every now and then so he could catch a glimpse of you. Every time he did, you smiled at him. You were so enamored by his eyes that you didn't care if you were perceived as desperate or too lovestruck when he looked at you. You felt warm inside and for a moment, you thought it could last forever.

From that day on, whenever you could, you'd always go to that park and sit on that specific bench. You even carved your initials in it.

Now, as you caressed the old indentation, dark from all the time that had passed, you were all alone. A hole in your chest.

You were living in Virginia, about to get your Master's Degree. It was the time of the semester when everything seems to be piling up and you can never get the time to take care of it as you should. As you walked home at night, you witnessed a young couple walking into a dark forest, but you didn't mind — horny kids were everywhere and you were glad they had a nice way to let off some steam, not being one to judge someone’s kinks.

The next thing you knew, the FBI wanted to see you. They sent a cute, awfully young agent to your apartment, who introduced himself as 'Doctor Spencer Reid' and waved at you once you answered the door, telling you you had been the last person to witness that young woman alive. You froze, unable to look away from him, sheer shock crossing your intriguing, mesmerizing features. Spencer Reid took more than a minute to try to calm you down to have you answer his questions. Despite your head going miles per minute, you tried to help out as much as you could and were able to describe the man as you managed to recall some of his features.

Then, you had gotten Spencer's number to keep him posted if anything happened, since that unsub was kidnapping and torturing girls from your university. When they wrapped up the case to go home, Spencer went to your building to tell you they were returning to Quantico. You had grown fond of him, his presence a warm embrace compared to the chaos around you, so when he broke the news, you did feel a little disappointed, even though you knew that he would eventually leave. He was sensible to the matters around him, doing everything in his power and using his intelligence to help everyone around him. It made you grow a sense of hope in other people you haven’t felt in a while.

You took your study break a little earlier that night once you saw him at your doorstep, deciding you'd give him your time. A low "So, you're leaving..." escaping your mouth once he told you why he went to your place. To say goodbye. You couldn't conceal the sadness in your voice.

"Yeah. I just wanted to say goodbye. And to thank you, of course, you helped us a lot." He said, eyes never leaving yours.

"Anytime, Doctor," you joked. "I'm gonna miss you. Even if we've just met. Even if you had to be aware of something so terrible." You confessed. His eyes widened at you in surprise.

His eyes. Big, doe eyes glancing at you like you held the answers to the whole universe.

In that moment, you did. Not his education, not PhD's, plural, not anything he learned from all the books he read and certainly not his time in the bureau. You held the answers.

He chuckled, a little shy. Unable to tell you, verbally, that he would miss you, too. His eyes did the job, though. "Yeah, yeah. It was nice knowing you."

"Yeah, it was," you agreed, coming a little closer to him. You gave him a kiss on his cheek. Soft, warm skin against your lips making butterflies swarm in your belly. He smiled, widely, sincerely.

You wished he was yours.

You also wished he knew that you meant that, 'besides the bad guy and all the terrible things, it was fun meeting you because you are full of light. A masterpiece.'

"Take care, okay, doctor?" You whispered, slowly pulling away from him. “I’ll see you around.”

"Be safe,” he wished, “I hope so, in better conditions."

A few days passed and you got your first call from Spencer, which turned into a second, a third and when you noticed, you were scheduling hang outs. Those turned into dates when you started to go out more frequently to every new place you wanted the other to know. All of that and touching each other more often, more carefully, more passionately than regular friends did.

You simply sat there, your memories the only thing keeping you company, haunting you, besides the tears that pricked in the corner of your eyes. You missed him so much. You missed the time you had with him.

Two years into your relationship, things got more and more complicated. You struggled to keep up with his life and more often than not you seemed to keep much to yourselves instead of sharing things with each other. You never thought you'd share (funny wording) such a distant relationship with someone, let alone one you knew for sure there was so much love and respect. During your time together, you learned about Spencer’s past and some pieces fell into place; he was somehow explained by everything he had faced as a child, teenager and now as an adult — his mother’s condition, his dad walking away, the bullying, being abducted and its consequences. You held him through it all, when the memories and feelings of powerlessness washed over him.

Then, Spencer started to be away more often and the physical distance, enforced by the emotional one that slowly grew between you two, made you feel like you were an intruder in his life. So, you gradually started to hold yourself back from starting conversations. You rarely had his attention and you figured it was because his mind was always elsewhere.

Yours was, too. Back in a time when things were simpler.

As time went by, being around him, too quiet and far out of each other’s reach, simply floating in his orbit, felt like a heavy burden you had to carry in order to keep him in your life. He never opened up and since you didn’t either, you felt like you didn't have the right to suggest you two should fix things, so you let him be. Coexisting together in the same space, oceans apart from each other’s lives and struggles, never touching the subject. The result, of course, was that you grew apart.

It all ended, officially, when you decided to move away to get your Doctorate as an excuse to run away from the hard conversations that you knew would take place if you confronted him about where had things, where had you gone so terribly wrong. You were hell-bent on trying to turn your heartbreak and deception into something, into an achievement. Then, you both decided, albeit reluctantly, that breaking up was the best choice for you, since you’d move away. The part that there was already a huge gap between the two of you remained unspoken. You tried convincing yourself that it would be easier, since you’d never have to see him and you'd be okay being in past chapters of Spencer’s life. 

Funnily enough, it wasn't that simple.

You see, the heart is a tricky machine. The wording here is not random: it works, of course, to primarily pump the blood through your veins to make sure you are getting enough oxygen around your body and deliver waste objects, like carbon dioxide, back to the lungs, to be removed — Spencer had told you so once when you told him your heart beat for him in a corny deliver of a joke. Despite the fact that he was right, you can never anticipate how the heart will react once it has no access to the aim of its affections, after being cut off from their life. Worse: after being slowly dragged away from the one it was sure it would be able to adore for the rest of its pumping-function life. You figured that, maybe it would continue working for as long as it needs to, but not with the same devotion it once knew and now was deprived of.

That was how you passed the last few years of your life.

After Spencer, you weren't really interested in anyone. You tried to put yourself out there, made new friends, tried dating some people, traveled abroad, discovered more about yourself. Nevertheless, in the back of your hopeless mind and dejected heart, you held the memories you had created with him close to your very soul. When things got too quiet, it was him that you thought of. On a train, on the way home or to somewhere new and/or special, in the lazy mornings you spent by yourself, in the nights that got too lonely to bear by yourself, during your lunch breaks that you always seemed to remember how much he loved sharing those with you — stealing food from his plate, even if you didn't like whatever he was having, just so he could steal your dessert to make sharing equal. He got a sweet tooth after dating you.

Now, though, something felt off. You had spent years of your life pining and longing and hoping that you'd find your way back to each other in the end that now you didn't have the guts to search for him. You kept an eye on his life and could remember a thing or two of all his achievements and papers that were published in science magazines, a brief abstract ready to roll off your tongue if someone asked you about it. You tried keeping up with his professional life in order to feel closer to him, but the thing was, you didn't know if he had someone else, if he had moved on more easily than you (not that you had), if he had learned to cope a little better with the hardships of his job. You always said he needed some rest for his noisy mind.

Even the air in your hometown made you think of him. Felt like him: distant, missed and still plaguing your thoughts. It was the aftermath of running away for some time.

In hindsight, perhaps you had only shared fleeting moments with Spencer and it was a frail affair, doomed from day one, knowing how different your lifestyles were. When you got too fed up with your longing and inner romanticism over this relationship, you would try to convince yourself that you were better off without him. That being alone was better than to be by yourself in a relationship that you only kept for the sake of calling him yours.

Still, there was something missing. You didn't know what it was, but you were tired of wasting your time, waiting for a bus that never showed.

Or maybe it did, and perhaps you had missed it.

From afar, Spencer watched, dumbfounded, a figure that resembled someone he once loved so much, sitting on the bench he used to share with you. He still does love. Or maybe he doesn't. He doesn't know, really. He's been through so much, losing loved ones, losing his mother and enduring several trauma after leaving the FBI, never having the time to properly take in the happenings in his life. Could it possibly be you? He could never forget your form, no matter how many years passed and how hard he had tried to do that. His heart started slowing, oxygen lacking in his lungs. He felt dizzy. Was it a mirage?

Memories started to flood his mind and he was unable to move.

Daylight faded, announcing the beginning of the evening. Spencer listened as you read to him one of your favorite novels, The Hour of the Star, a Brazilian novel by Clarice Lispector. It definitely wasn't romantic, but you always made sure to use the correct tone whenever you were reading the characters' lines, and you paused every now and then to make comments and listened when he had one of his own. Those were precious, rare, quiet moments in his hectic life. He cherished them because of that, of course, but most importantly because you were with him.

Once you finished the chapter you were reciting, you noticed how dark it already was and that the lights of the city were already on, casting a soft glow over Spencer. He looked exceptionally, effortlessly beautiful that night. You smiled at him. "Shall we go home, Spence?"

"Yes," he accepted, helping you up. You thanked him with a kiss to his cheek, which made him flustered.

Years together and he could never get used to the effect your touch had on him, always wishing he could have more, more, more.

As you walked home together, he took your ring, a gift from him that was usually placed in your left hand, and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. Your reply was to kiss him senseless in public.

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when you abruptly broke the kiss, looking back with a mischievous, happy expression on your face. He trailed after you, one single thought in mind: I'll never let you go.

The woman — he didn't want to deceive himself if she wasn't you, he was staring at her back, after all, so he thought it was better to be careful with his hopes —, had longer hair, fit better into her clothes, but her movements were scarily just like yours. From the way she looked around to the slight tilt of her head when you'd contemplate the park all those years ago. Spencer felt his thoughts clouding with the need to approach her, curiosity driving him to work on this instinct, but as soon as he moved to walk, he instantly halted his movements. What would he say?

"Hello?", "Is that you?" "Are you back?" "Are you real?" "Have you forgotten about me?"

The questions swimmed around his head like he had no control over his own mind. If there was a monitor to show every single thought running through his brain, it would definitely collapse, smoke clouding the air, telling how overwhelmed he felt. He decided on approaching as a passerby, walking as if he didn't want anything by it, acting nonchalant. He made his way closer to the bench, to the woman. 

She heard footsteps behind her, not too close, but still turned to search for the source of the disturbance, out of her daydreaming. You looked at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity — time stopped, the children stopped playing and the passersby stopped breathing.

As you turned around, your eyes found Spencer. The love of your life. You took in his appearance. His hair was long, unlike how it had been when you last saw him, and he didn't care about styling it as much as he did when he was younger, his curls unruly and a little messy, a little stubble growing on his face. His expression looked harder now, more tired, ripe. You couldn't quite know how to describe him properly. For a moment, you considered that he had hardened over the years, opposite from the caring, soft man you've met and loved ardently once.

On a surface level, looking at him made you feel like you've been loving a ghost. A memory, something that could never return.

Your mind suddenly felt empty. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"You?" You heard the question, uncertain, leave his lips in a low voice. Was it in your head or did you sense hurt?

Again, you wanted to speak, to say something, greet him, tell him you've missed him, ask him if he was okay. Nothing came out. Everything seemed inappropriate. Again, he beat you to it, coming closer to you, voice firmer. "What are you... I thought you'd left."

"I did."

"I know."

Silence. He got closer, moving to sit beside you.

"Yeah." Silence. Still looking at each other. "I came back a couple of months ago. Started visiting exactly three weeks ago, today." You revealed to break the silence, even though the idea that everything that came out of your mouth was improper still plagued your mind.

Spencer felt baffled. You looked different, more mature, even your style had drastically changed — you once wore colorful, baggier outfits, full of life and bright shades matching your personality (you even went shopping with Penelope and you exchanged fashion tips), but now, you wore more sober, neutral tones. Instead of the usual sneakers, or the Converse you both loved to wear together to match your outfits — his black and yours blue —, you wore black boots with heels. You looked grown. And it fit you. Still, your face was the same: your eyes held the same glimmer in them from all those years ago, your lips still as inviting as it ever was for him.

He licked his own, realizing his mouth was dry. "I come here every now and then when things get too heated." He confided, eyes never leaving your figure.

You smiled. A hole in his chest, desolation invading his being. The simple act still makes his machine of a heart ache and speed to reach its full capacity. Of breaking for you. "It's peaceful."

You knew that he seeked solace from whatever was happening in your memories together in that place. At least, you hoped so. You hoped, selfishly, that he thought of you as much as you thought of him, of his ghost. That he ached for you as much as you ached for him.

"Yeah."

Awkward silence engulfed the two of you. You didn't know where to look, but you could never stop scanning his face, taking in his features with care. "I like your hair. It fits you," you said.

He got closer, less than an arm's length between the two of you. Almost itching for you to touch his hair, eyes pleading for some mercy on your end. You've been awfully quiet and if meeting him maim you, you certainly have improved your poker face skills. "You've changed," he retorted. "I never thought I'd see you so different from, you know..."

You didn’t remember Spencer at a loss of words.

Too close. "I hope for the better."

"Why didn't you call?" He asked, brows furrowing.

Come to think of it, it was an excuse you had rehearsed quite a few times when you imagined this scenario, “I was settling, still trying to contact everyone, still finding my way around…”

“And you didn’t think of me?” His tone was wounded. He certainly dreamed you’d come back and was positively sure that you’d reach out to him. Of course, he was wrong.

“Of course I did. I just thought you wouldn't pick up,” you replied.

He didn’t know what to say. Of course he would pick up, but there was no way you could know about it nor trust him if he said so; why would you? You had left him because he built walls around him, cutting you off from his life, torturing you, slowly dragging the end of your relationship and he couldn’t explain why. Once you left, Spencer delved into his work life like never before. He flirted with women and even slept around, which he was aware was a poor coping mechanism, all to outrun the desertion of you, desperately wishing he could forget that he could feel alive in your presence. He even tried having a relationship. It was nice having someone around, now that he was grown and had made peace with some of his demons, but it was never like you and it was all that she was to him: someone around. He never felt that spark with her like he had felt with you, never again having a taste of the sensation that ran through him whenever he stumbled excitedly into your apartment when you invited him over, seizing the rare opportunities to be with you, happiness bubbling inside him. With his new girlfriend, it was quiet. He mistook it for the calmness he lacked within himself when he was with you, but it was just bland. Needless to say, he felt awful about straight up using a person to keep his mind off of you, but it was nice while it worked. He started longing for something he couldn’t even describe what it was.

One day, you guys met halfway, between the two cities you were both in. It was raining and you launched yourself into his arms once you recognized him. You had kissed him like a soldier's wife, for you sure definitely missed him like one — he had been away on a case which took longer than usual. “Hi,” you greeted, shyly, after giving him the hottest kiss of his life.

“Hi,” he smiled, a little flushed.

“I couldn't wait to get to you, Spence,” you confessed, arms pulling him back to hug you once again, his own engulfing your figure. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. I miss you all the time.” He said, burying his face into the crook of your neck, wet hair prickling on his skin. He peeled himself away from you, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

The squealed “Yes!” before you kissed him ardently once more was forever ingrained into his mind.

Amidst his reverie, you stood up from your seat. The wind tousled your hair slightly, so you used your left hand to tuck it behind your ear. The street lights reflected their light on a ring you had on your left hand. He recognized it instantly. “I should go,” you murmured, slightly graceless.

“You still have it.”

You looked at him, still sitting and nodded softly. You were hit with the realization that he also remembered you. It didn’t matter that it was such a small thing about you, relief flooded your veins at the very thought that he thought of you. “I do.”

You waved at him, your lips turned upwards shyly. You turned your back and started walking away from him. Again, he thought. And again, he let you, without putting up a fight, which he was aware that he should have done. The elephant in his chest was a light weight compared to the heavy truth dancing around in his throat. Said truth would become much bigger, a heavier burden for him to carry, once it made its way out of him. Speaking made it real. He knew it because every memory that he kept of you, in a sacred, untouched area of his own consciousness, was full of comfort after sharing uncomfortable truths.

It was like his heart screamed at him to keep searching, to keep trying for the person who made it beat faster. But his brain, foggy with all the logic and terrible, horrid things he had to face, decided it was best to keep himself away from you, to save himself the trouble of being the target of pity, or worse, being another person who left him.

From that day on, you’d casually visit the park, secretly wishing you could see him more. It didn't take too long until your wishes were granted, no matter how private you thought they were. Perhaps they were all over your face and he could still read you so easily. Despite the apparent capacity of reading your wants, you were positively sure that Spencer didn't know what to say, just like you. Everything, including him, felt as distant as you had left it. You weren't sure if you could go back, but running away was just as troublesome: you had to adapt in order to survive, but everyone else surrounding you was already fit to the environment. You stuck out like a sore thumb, unable to connect with anyone but the protagonist from past memories of what once was a happy relationship.

Every time you were there, you sensed someone looking at you shortly after your arrival. It was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you, to try to talk things through without rushing into anything, trying to conquer the other's forgiveness by sharing both ordinary and big moments you had during your time apart. As you sat down and talked and shared, you realized that you'd never stop loving him, not even for a second, not even if you could. You had tried and failed, and kept coming back for more to fall in love with the same person over and over.

These encounters quickly turned into the best moments of Spencer's weeks, getting to be filled in on the things he had missed in your life. You had shown him photos, your new degree, new friends, discussed details about your job and how things were in your family. All of that wrapped in intricate, subtle details on how much you'd turned into a person he was already feeling proud of. You had grown into a strong-willed woman who managed to keep your heart as pure as the day you had met him. You still had the traits that made you fall in love with him.

One day, you two were sitting on the bench and you pointed to your initials on it. “Heh, I remember that day. You kept worrying someone was going to show up and stop me from doing it.”

He smiled. “I'm glad no one did.”

“It's funny, isn't it?” You asked, eyes on the indentation, not expecting him to answer due the lack of context. He frowned. “I mean, us. Acting like we don't know each other just for the sake of spending time together.”

He thought for a moment. With your shameless comment, you were definitely daring him to say something. Daring him to make things real, but better this time. “I like that idea,” he said, getting you to look at him. “Don't you? We get to meet each other again. I get to meet you again and I get to make sure that, this time, I'll never let you go.”

“You still don't know me enough to say that with such sureness,” you said, feeling bashful all of a sudden. It was also one of your behaviors that got him so enthralled, once again. Your capacity of saying something and then act coyly, as if you didn't know what he was talking about. Almost backtracking on whatever you had said that was a little more risky than the usual chatter.

He wouldn't let you.

“I want to.”

His tone made you speechless. Your expression turned into one of sheer, pure enchantment. It told him everything he needed to know.

Everything bad was now under the bridge and you could finally have each other back after being so patient.

He now remembered what it was that he missed so dearly in his life.

You.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Nov 9th

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1. I'm looking for a fic that I swear I bookmarked！It's a modern AU where WWX has been dead for (13?) years in a world where people are starting to spontaneously resurrect from the dead (in a not zombie way). He finds his way back to LWJ and A-Yuan. I think near the end of the fic they get news that JYL has also been revived. @needleinthenonsense

FOUND!🔒💖 sudden nature series by everbrighter (M, 97k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, 5+1, family feels, parenthood, teenage rebellion, past character death, resurrection, pining, domestic fluff, angst, happy ending) 

NOT FOUND!🔒care by everbrighter (T, 35k, LSZ & WWX, wangxian, modern w/ magic, resurrection, family bonding, getting to know each other, past character death, pining)

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2. Hi!! This is my first time using Tumblr so I hope I’m doing this right… I read a fic (Ao3) where Lan Zhan was getting rid of a water spirit in the lake in Caiyi city (i think). Wei Yīng said something dirty and LWJ was going to retort when he was sucked underwater. He thought he was gonna die but soon got caught under like this wheel thingy where he was pulled up and his shoulder dislocated. He had wounds and was only saved thx to WWX using demonic cultivation. I have some screenshots if needed! @plumblossom-15339

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3. Hello, lovely people! I'm desperately looking for a fic I read in February, where lwj gets himself stuck as a bunny and iirc wwx is hired by lxc to bunnysit and because wwx had nowhere to live he was happy to accept. It might have been modern with cultivation. All I have is this quote I sent my friend: "And then Wei Ying had accepted! Lan Zhan was so overwhelmed that, just for a moment, his rabbit body took over, and he’d ended up doing a binky." Pls help!

NOT FOUND!🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

FOUND! the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

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4. I'm looking for a fic where the lan and possibly the nie fought a war with the Jiang and jin and WY was one of the Jiang commanders. The Jiang lose and WY and LZ enter into a relationship. I remember a scene where the Jiang were on trial after the war and WY noted that JC looked shocked that he's being prosecuted possibly for war crimes @maryam25

FOUND? 🔒 Crossing Paths by Ilona22 (M, 21k, wangxian, shapeshifter au, graphic depictions of violence, war between sects, war crimes, not JC friendly, happy ending)

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5. Hello, thank you for your hard work 🙏 I'm looking for a fic where Wen Qing poisons Wen Ruohan, Wen Chao, Wen Zhuliu and Wang Lingjiao with berries that induce Qi deviation. Basically everyone but Wen Xu, who is in love with his brother's wife, because WRH punished him by having her marry WC. And I think instead of assuming leadership of the Wen sect he leaves with her. That's all I can remember. Thank you so much!

FOUND? The Teenage Girl's Self-Saving System by mercyandmagic (T, 108k, WLJ/WC, WLJ/NMJ, wangxian, XiYao, XuanLi, ChengQing, OC main character, transmigration, everyone’s least fave characer gets character development!)

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6. hello! thankyou so much for you hard work. please help me find a fic that i've been looking for days now, in this fic wwx and lwj time went back to time as kids, as far as i remember they had their memories with them and both of their parents are alive in here. kid wwx told his parents to go to gusu, and when they went, he was greeted by kid lwj who remembered him and hugged him (lwj's family was shocked because their non affectionate boy was hugging someone) pls pls help me find it

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7. Hello! I was hoping you could help me find a fic, I don’t remember much of it. But i remember it took place during wei yings time in gusu in the cloud recess arc. i could be wrong on some details but from my memory it has the lans finding out about some negative aspect of wei yings life in yunmeng and the abusive treatment he dealt with. he is then welcome in cloud recesss bc they see how smart and kind he is. i remember specifically there was an oc that was a lan elder who was very un-lan like. he was very loud very much what u would expect from a character that’s similar to wei ying. he became wei yings shifu so to speak. they would invent things together. they were both known for blowing up things a lot. the lan healers mentioned once how the jiang healers definitely knew about the abuse wei ying was subjected to. and that they would be bringing up them not living up to their duties as healers at a conference or something. and that not helping wei ying in the abusive situation was a major taboo amongst all the healers and there would be repercussions for that. i think they mention that wei ying is often in the back of cloud recess where all the elders lives. like he’s just always around that general area. it’s kind of jiang bashing and then also positive/protective lans. that’s all i can remember so sorry if that’s vague i just really enjoyed reading it and can’t find it for the life of me. thanks for any help u can give me!! and as always thanks so much for all ur hard work 💕💕💕

FOUND?🔒in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric) the eccentric lan elder that teaches wwx shows up in ch 11

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8. Hello! I'm looking for a fic in which wwx is summoned back by xue yang instead of mo xuanyu and wwx runs around pretending to be xue yang but he actually managed to change xue yang body into his own and just wear a fake face. I think Jiang yanli was summoned back too by Qin su and was the one to make xue yang summon wwx into his body

FOUND? the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, wangxian, qingli, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, slightly dark!JYL, wq lives because i said so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, manipulative relationship (background xiyao))

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9. Hey!! It's been a while. I hope all of you are doing great.

I'm looking for this fic where Wei Wuxian is in an arranged marriage with Lan Wangji and the only significant thing I remember about it is that Wei Wuxian breaks something that belonged to Lan Wangji's mother and he gets angry I think (?) Also, Wei Wuxian goes to Caiyi Town and comes back to apologize.

I'm so sorry. I know this isn't enough to go by, but this is all I recall. If you can find it, that would be great.

Thank you in advance. @poetic-writes

Hi! I'm number 9 on the latest fic finder. That fic rec is not the one I was looking for, but that fic is really good, and I'm thankful for whoever who assumed it was that particular one. As I mentioned in my ask is that Wei Wuxian breaks something that belongs to Lan Wangji and the latter is really sad and says something rude to Wei Wuxian I think on the lines of him being as bad as everyone had said and it kind of takes away the spirit entirely from Wei Wuxian and the light in his eyes dim. Thank you again.

NOT FOUND!🔒 Light of Stars (and the Destroyer) by Sanguis (T, 22k, WangXian, Legends, Arranged Marriage, Pining, Pining for your spouse, Adoption, Canon Divergence, Married Couple)

I've read number nine before but I don't remember the name! i have more details tho: lan wangji says that wei ying is as bad as jiang cheng says! wei ying locks himself in a room and cries a lot

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10. oh lovely folk- please can you help me? for the next fic finder- i’m remembering a WY sent to marry royal(i believe) LW. Madame Yu whips him before he travels to capitol. Meng Yao has suspicions and leaves him locked in a room not knowing WY is injured. does this ring a bell?

FOUND? The Bloodthirsty Prince and his Bride by moss_enthusiast (M, 27k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending Violence, Anxiety, Royalty, Strangers to Lovers, Arranged Marriage, Self-Worth Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Whipping, Blood and Gore, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Abuse, Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Blood and Violence, Dark LWJ, Fluff, Angst and Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Shock, Anxiety Attacks) i am really unsure cause there is no Meng Yao as far as i remember, but this contains arranged marriage (where WY is sent instead of JYL ro marry prince LWJ) and highly abusive Madam Yu who whips WY a lot, and LWJ finds him hurt and passed out in the wedding bedroom after the ceremony. Recovery abd revenge included later.

FOUND?🔒The Imperial Compromise by shiroakuma (E, 61k, WIP, WangXian, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Royalty, YLLZ WWX, Concubine WWX, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Emperor LXC, everyone but LXC thinks WWX is to be his concubine, LXC Ships WangXian, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Intersex Omegas, Intersex Alphas, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort)

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11. I am back once again asking for your excellent help in finding a fic. It's an AU, where a previous emperor ordered Lan Zhan & Wei Ying to marry. Lan Zhan is an imperial official (in the tax department i think). There is a war with the Wen going on and Wei Ying is ordered off to fight. Everyone thinks WY is either dead or MIA, but when the war is won, LZ goes to oversees a prisoner exchange and finds WY who has been on a work gang in a mine all this time (with A-Yuan who he's adopted & Mo Xuanyu). I remember MianMian is the brilliant general on the winning side. You find out that LZ & WY basically fell in love right before WY got shipped off to war, so it's a happy reunion. Oh! Also, LZ writes very popular poetry under a pseudonym! Um...i remember that LZ bought WY a goat they called Amethyst because before he was disappeared WY wrote LZ expressing the wish for such a goat (LZ buys the whole herd in the end). Jiang Yanli and the Peacock are married and are the new empress and emperor. There's an epilogue or end note where the author gives info about how their life turned out - this is all in the 500s CE. As always, i can't remember the title or who the writer is, so HELP! Thank you so much!

FOUND! ❤️ Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams. by Moominmammashandbag (M, 52k, wangixan, jin zixuan & lan wangji, no powers au, grief/mourning, aftermath of war, angst w/ happy ending, reunions, fluff & smut)

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12. I don't know if you still help finding fics about wanxian... but just in case, I would like to ask your help... I'm looking for a fic where wei wuxian and lan wangji are divorced, I think? and that lan wangji is a doctor and wei wuxian is like a secret agent or undercover agent with wein qing and wen ning. But then wei wuxian got shot at one of his undercover missions and as he was delirius and thought he was going to die anyway, he went to his ex husband's house and lan wangji, being a doctor fixes or provided first aid to wei wuxian. Turned out that lan wangji is still in love with him and they talk... it was not finished when I read it. But it was a good story full of angst... I hope you would bw able to help me find it.thank you in advance @etutb

FOUND? empty space beside me by scarletmoontears. I have a link but it doesn't work so I'm guessing the work was removed or locked. (I think it's removed, I logged in and clicked the link but still got the error message - Mod C)

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13. Hello! I've been pulling my hair out trying to find a wangxian fic. Unfortunately, I can't remember too much about it, but I believe it's a modern/university setting. The only scene I can remember is WWX going with LWJ to visit his uncle and brother. They live rather far and on a hill. LWJ doesn't visit often, and this visit is very tense between WWX and LQR. Something about past WWX doing to LWJ, or causing LWJ to get into trouble when they were younger. Anyway, LWJ then gets angry with his uncle about the treatment directed towards WWX. I also can't remember if baby a-yuan is in this fic and present during the visit, as sometimes fics blend together. I apologize if this isn't enough to go by, but I just randomly recalled this fic, and apparently, I did not bookmark it.

FOUND? ❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff)

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14. Hi. Im looking for a wangxian fic, where Wuxian had openly confessed to Wangji persistently until he dies in the seige. And then when he comes back in Mo Xuanyu's body, its wangji whose doing the confessing. Wuxian is sad sometimes, I think. @thatpantasticbitch

FOUND? When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX confesses early on, But canon still happens, LWJ starts confessing after, but the tables have turned, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ rejects WWX, Then gets rejected by WWX after, "Get Lost", Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian)

~*~

15. For fic finder, there was one specific fic - it may have been part of a series? - and I believe it was likely on the longer end, and may have involved time travel? The part I’m looking for is that in either WQ or WY’s POV, it explicitly acknowledges that wq and wy coparented LSZ while in the BM. If it helps, I solely read canon dynamics! @lovelyiknow

~*~

16. hello for fic finder im looking for a fic where jyl married wq's mom i think? it's also time travel iirc. ive tried finding it in my history but alas. id really appreciate the help, thank you!

FOUND! 死而无悔 (To Die Without Regret) series by liverbiver9 (T, 26k, JYL & WWX, JYL/OC, WN & WWX & WQ, WangXian, JYL & WN, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, JYL-centric, POV JYL, Genderqueer WWX, Trans Male Character, Kid Fic, Child WWX, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Found Family, WWX is a Wen technically, Demonic Cultivation, Falling In Love, Assassination Attempt(s), WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, teen wangxian feature in the epilogue!, No Sunshot Campaign, No Golden Core Transfer, Everybody Lives, except for WRH and his children, mentioned minor character death, Gender Non-Conforming WWX, Trans WWX, Canonical Character Death, Time Travel Not A Fix-It, I make it kind of worse but kind of better?, YLLZ JYL, Demonic Cultivator JYL, Sect Leader JYL, Short & Sweet, Angst implied happy ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

~*~

17. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where wangxian is in a zombie or apocalyptic setting. Wwx gets bitted and lwj is desperate to find a cure of some kind in a hospital but in the lwj has to kill wwx of smth like that. Thanksss!

FOUND? 🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

~*~

18. Hi, I forgot to bookmark this one but I remember that Wei wuxian lived but his soul was shattered like he was a lived but he wasn't acting like himself before and eventually he starts committing suicide and lan wangji was protecting him and caring for him until he successfully kill himself, lan wangji takes care of him for 13 years(it's and happy ending) @lanwuxian0725

~*~

19. hi i was hoping u could find a fix for me i’m p sure it was like a dark!lz fic. i think he may have traveled back in time to protect wwx and stop his death. when he travels back he is in his own body as a child. and lan qiren is like freaked out by him bc lwj remembers how badly lan qiren treated wwx in the past so he’s like not rly trying to hard to seem normal or that he likes his family. but i think they take in wwx before jfm can and lan qiren in this environment rly likes wwx treats him rly well but bc lz freaks him out and is weirdly possessive of wwx lan qiren is like constantly scared for wwx and is like always keeping an eye on them. like kind of the opposite of canon he looks at lan zhen like he’s corrupting his favorite student (wwx). the whole fic lan zhan is like obsessed with wei ying in a way that is like scary to everyone else (except wwx). i don’t rly remember more then that. hopefully someone can help me out i keep thinking about this and can’t find it. i rly need to learn to bookmark things. pretty sure it was from lan zhans perspective but i could be wrong. thank u sm hope everyone’s having a good day today!! 💕

NOT FOUND A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 84k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, graphic depictions of violence, underage, LWJ pov, JC pov, dark LWJ, manipulation, grooming, teen body adult mind for LWJ, happy ending for wangxian, problematic consensual underage sex, blood & violence, insane LWJ, manic LWJ)

FOUND! 🔒Something is wrong with A-Zhan! by HeloSoph (M, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Dark LWJ, Morally Gray WWX, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, WWX is a Lan, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, JC Bashing, Smitten LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Engaged WangXian, Blood and Violence, a lot of people die, LQR Metaphorically Qi-Deviates, because of, Shameless LWJ, LQR Tries, to fit into the following tag, Good Uncle LQR, Semi-Public Sex, or at least wangxian's version of it, Scheming NHS, POV NHS)

~*~

20. hi i’m trying to find a fic i read once where wwx stays in all the different sects for like a season or something on behalf of his sect to prove he isn’t like a danger to the cultivation world. it may have been multiple chapters but he goes to all of them and helps in various ways. i believe it was after the war in his first life. back when everyone was scared of him. sorry if that’s not enough info i can’t remember anything else tbh thanks for ur help 🥺

FOUND? Field Trips with Wei Wuxian by antebunny (G, 42k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, NMJ & WWX, JZX & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, protective Jiang siblings, Unreliable Narrator, due to WWX assuming ppl hate him, JYL is gonna dropkick her baby bro into having friends)

FOUND? The "Patriarch" Was Supposed to be Ironic (or, Wei Wuxian, Chief Cultivator) by groignequi (E, 51k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, JC/NHS/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, jiang friendly, Not Everyone Dies, Really Most People Live (Except JGS), Chief Cultivator WWX, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, sort of (at a canon-typical wangxian level), Dom/sub Undertones, Protective Siblings, Nonbinary NHS, POV Multiple)

~*~

[marymary-diva17]

Promises between friends

Promises are always made some of them being very true to heart, and other built on lies and betrayal. There are times when promise are built on happiness and truth between, the ones who make these promise pledging not to break these promises that were made.

y/n " ......." it was late at night as you are fast asleep when you felt, someone shaking you awake gentle. You had soon slowly opened your eyes, to see Orion pax standing there with a smile on his face.

y/n " orion"

Orion pax " good you are up come on we have to go get D-16"

y/n " umm okay" you are half way asleep and half way awake, as you soon followed after Orion pax as he went towards D-16 sleeping quarters.

y/n " you know I care for you orion and cherish you but do you think, it the best to do whatever you are doing right now"

orion pax " it will be worth it trust me y/n"

y/n " okay I trust you and you are going to need me for keeping D from hurting you" The pair soon reached the sleeping quarters of D-16 as Orion pax had went to go awake him up.

Orion pax " good you are up come along there is something I need to show you and tell you"

D-16 " huh" the two mech had come out of the room and soon meet you in the hallway. orion pax had lead the pair towards where he went to take them, soon showing them the Icon 5000 glowing signs by the statues.

y/n " the night is always so beautiful but there are times I wish to see, what life is like on the surface"

Orion pax " one day that shall happen and I along with D-16 will come with you, and we will all see the surface with everyone else here"

y/n " promises"

D-16 " do we ever break promises with you"

y/n " no so orion tell us what you need to show us as if it important to you, it will be important to us as well"

Orion pax " we should enter the Icon 5000"

D-16 " I'm going back to bed you have gone glitch y/n care to come with me" D-16 had looked at his friend trying to understand what, orion pax was planing right now. He soon looked at you ready to head back to bed.

y/n "I ....."

orion pax " no hear me out"

y/n " okay tell us Orion"

D-16 " oh come on don't tell me you are encouraging this behavior"

y/n " well like the promsie I made years ago I always encourage my friends, and stand with them when they need help"

d-16 " that is so like you"

orion pax " come on this will be wonderful it will finally give us the chance to show everyone we are more, then some coug less miners we can do something grand D-16"

D-16 " look orion we can try but it will not work we can't transformer, how will we enter that race without having the ability of flight of driving"

y/n " ........"

D-16 " look it getting late and we should all be in bed we can go see the race tomorrow, as friends it will be fun and we also have the day off as well"

Orion pax " okay" D-16 soon walked away heading back to bed as you looked at orion pax, you soon placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

y/n " I believe you and everyone else here will be able to change the world orion"

orion pax " thank you y/n"

y/n "Your welcome now come on let's head to bed tomorrow is a brand new day" Orion had nodded his head as the pair had soon went back to bed, not knowing tomorrow will be chnaging their lives. As both orion and D-16 had taken part on the race, and almost ending winning the race. They did help make change as they had imspired the miners and other cougless bots as well. That will soon ended up with them being sent to lowerl levels, meeting B-127 and finding a message from alpha trion.

hours later

Elita " I can't believe we are stuck all the way out here" you and elite had ran into the three mechs, as they were on the raining head to the surface. Which had lead on to many other events that lead to all four bots, being on the surface for the first time ever.

Orion pax " oh come on elite it can be fun"

elita " coming from zero from my last accident"

y/n " elita you have all reason to be mad right now, but right now we need to clam down and work as a team to get to primes and soon home as well"

Elita " fine I will work you with pax all because of y/n but if this fail I'm dragging you and two go bot back home, and you will give me a good view that highlight me in a good light and y/n as well"

orion pax " deal"

y/n "See when we work as a team everything will work out perfectly"

B-127 "it's so great to be out here with new friends" you had nodded your head at B-127 words as the group had started walking, with B and Elita at the front.

Orion pax " see D-16 everything is working out perfectly"

D-16 "yeah"

y/n "See if we promise to stay together when we are out here, everything will be fine as we need to stay united when we are out here for the sake of cyberton and the matrix of leadership" Two mechs had smiled at you as the trio had started walking, as they were following the map.

Orion pax " y/n is right as always, we have each other back out here we will be okay like we do in the mines"

Orion pax " Now come on, let's get going we are really doing this"

D-16 " I'm so glad to be out here with you with both this waa. great idea" you had nodded your head as the group soon started walking, on the journey that waa going to change all their lives from here on now. The promises that they had once made might never be the same, as eveyrone will go on different paths from here on now, relationships will not be the same either for most. Just maybe there might be some promsies and relationships will stand strong, even after that will come in the future.

[eatanorange]

marauders do the candy trauma salad trend since I JUST saw a fantastic one for pjo (highly encourage y'all to add your versions/to this pls I don't have solid hcs of everyone) (evan's is fully me projecting btw)(a lot of them are me projecting <3).

Upon completion I want to add up here n not just the tags that these do reference various traumas/bigotry so be careful and mind what headspace ur in n all that pls take care of urselves k thanks love u.

Sirius: Hi I'm sirius and every time my mother considered something I did 'impure', like experience joy or get sorted in to gryffindor, she took my mouth away! *momentary zone out from the horrors* I brought milk duds!

Barty: bazooka bubblegum. *vid cuts* I'm barty and I hate my dad for all of the reasons you can imagine and I think it would be fun if he blew up. good?

Lily: Hi I'm Lily and after I got sent to magic school, all emotional ties with my muggle sister, who regards me as a freak, and my mother, who was more sensitive to her side, were severed. They didn't tell me when my dad died. I brought 3 musketeers.

Remus: Hi I'm remus and I got bit by a werewolf when I was 5, then my dad offed himself because of it. I brought moon pies.

James: Hi I'm James and I fell into limerence with someone and incessantly pursued them for over a year in ways that were detrimental to both of our mental states. I was so public about it I don't even need to say who it was. My mother sat me down one day and said "was it something your father and I did, something we said, that convinced you you need to beg someone to love you? to let you show them love?" and that broke something in me. We're chill now though, and I have coping techniques that work for me while still allowing me to be my expressive self, so I brought mr. goodbars.

Peter: Hi I'm peter and my animagus is literally a rat. I brought sour patch kids.

Dorcas: Hi I'm dorcas and my pureblood parents will never say it to my face but they wanted me to be a boy. To compensate I was sure to always get top marks, be well liked, and experience gender dysphoria. I burnt out before our 5th year, and learning radical acceptance in the place of trying to guess unspoken rules saved my life. I brought smarties.

Regulus: Hi I'm regulus and in order to be sure my mother didn't assassinate my brother for running away, I stayed behind in the abusive household and eventually became a deatheater to keep my cover, hunting down one bald headed bitch's horcruxes until it literally almost killed me. I think it did kill me in some lives. and I brought the starburst.

Mary: Hi I'm Mary and due to blood supremacist bigots, I have to go to school with people who want me to die just for having the audacity to exist. The muggle world is also like this. The school I go to does not matter in this scenario. I brought mentos for the salad and a bottle of soda for the show.

Evan: Hi I'm evan and my ex went on holiday to another country for 3 months, told me we could write to stay connected, they didn't, broke up with me via owl while still on said vacation, and then came to talk to me in person about that, denied that it was an active choice to disconnect from me, then tried to put the onus of any friendship to follow on just me. We haven't spoken since. Also I'm a sex positive, but also trauma affected ace, it was an open relationship, and they somehow still managed to be shady/inconsiderate about hooking up with someone on the vacation. I brought blow pops.

Pandora: Hi I'm pandora and sometimes I get prophetic dreams so vivid I can't tell when I wake up. Sometimes, though the future is not stagnant, I see my friends die :) I brought airheads.

Marlene: Hi I'm marlene and I have 5 brothers. 3 of them accept my nonbinary identity. The rest, and my parents, blatantly ignore that I use they/them pronouns. Then they told me if I don't have children as an adult I won't be worth visiting because it's my job as a pureblood to produce an heir. So I went to St. Mungos and got sterilized. I brought baby ruth candy.

Hope you enjoy! and thanks if you read them all! This was fun for me.

[purpurussy]

the version of dan and phil playing the sims which exists only in my head is so good I wish you guys could see this

my headcanon is that dalien and cassandra are besties and cassandra is very protective of him because he reminds her of her gay little brother (alexander goth is gay in every one of my saves and I recently saw a reddit thread where everyone was saying they hc him as homophobic which sent me because that is NOT my fruity little alexander 💀💀💀 anyway) and dalien prom-posed to her purely because he wanted to ask nicholas, but he was scared of asking a boy to the prom, so he asked her to be his beard essentially. but she rejected him because she's gay too (pro tip you can make literally all of your sims gay and the police can't stop you) plus that's basically her little brother 😭 so he had a breakdown after that and then he came out to her (she's the first person he came out to) and she encouraged him to ask his crush and she said she'll throw hands if anyone is mean to them 🥰 (side note she has actually kinda known for a while. and she has been one of the NPCs who randomly starts a fight in the school corridor before because someone said daliens hair looked gay or some shit so she tried to kill them lmfao)

now she is not a big fan of nicholas because she gets the vibe that dalien is more into him than the other way round and he's too preppy and he annoys her so she's always kinda side eyeing him. but she also loves 3rd wheeling their dates so she can be daliens guard dog/twink handler/#1 fujo because she supports him even though his bf is annoying. and she will be there to let dalien cry on her shoulder and also she'll key nicholas's car and put a stink bomb in his locker when the relationship inevitably crashes and burns <3

that is MY CASSANDRA GOTH now the constant bullying and slander needs to STOP .... she never did anything wrong by rejecting dalien they are both GAY and also best friends. dan and phil release her from this ridiculous love triangle prison please free my girl. she is not a woman scorned/spurned lover or whatever archetype. she IS a mean goth lesbian who is actually very sweet but only if you appeal to her emotionally curious nature. also this is not what polyamory is 💀

thank you for reading my thesis telling 2 youtubers who play the sims for a check how they should do their job 😁

[kairukitsuneo]

Thank you for the information of bring the light of what's happening in the other side of the "callout" post. Kagebros has been harassed and suffered mental issue because of the callout post. While I understand the callout poster has good intention to inform others (because they believed selling traced art is bad), but it should have been resolve by a private message and realised that Kagebros was unaware it's bad to trace from official stuff too and it was never their intention to scam people. Now they had learned their lesson and never trace again. Regarding the alleged AI artist in the post claims, I found only proof of them proudly showcase the AI zine they have made with AI that was in 2022 (two years ago), I'm not sure if they ever changed their way this year or not, but it left a bad taste in me for knowing someone enjoying using AI even if they only feeding their own arts. AI generated art is still a plagiarism copy machine to steal from all artist regardless how you use it. Plus they are contributing to burning our nature faster than the nature can self-repair themselves.

================== With that said, here is something to learn from for all of us here:

I wish everyone's first attempt to a problem is a private message to sort things out and understanding why someone have done something you can't accept. Instead of letting your bias and assumption take over to make yourself feel righteous.

It's NEVER acceptable to make a callout post without prior proof or understanding both side of the situation. At least give the others a chance to right their wrongs and make up for it after they realising their mistake. To my believes, Callout post are only for warning the society of dangerous individuals like murderer/ escaped convict / rapist / groomers (provided proof of their crimes). Making callout post for trivia things like who to block, who done bad behaviors, who done tracing is still very childish to me. Because callout post usually it's made public, we can't control how people react and do about it. It's upsetting to see people would rather harrass and doxx the offender in the callout post. Even if they are deemed evil and hateful to me. They are still Humans, a sentient being with real feelings and thoughts. We are nothing worse than them if we did the same thing to hurt them. That's why we have to be very careful to make callout post! If you wanted to callout someone for their bad behavior, just inform your group of friends and let them spread the words to their group of friends. But knowing you can't control how your friends react and decided whether to continue interacting with this person. Everyone has the right to choose what they deemed right and nicer. Please I beg of you all to ⚠️⚠️⚠️ALWAYS Always remember callout post is only for informing potential dangerous people.❗❗❗❗❗ AND ALSO Anyone who read the callout post, just MOVE ON and BLOCK the person if you deemed the offender in the callout is unforgiving evil to you. It's best to not interact with things that's uncomfortable to you and Move ON with your life. ❗❗❗DO NOT attempt to HARRASS and DOXX the person!!❗❗❗ You never know if the person's house you sent a S.W.A.T to have any innocent family members. The blood is on you if something like that happens instead to the person you hate. Therefore, it's not okay to DOXX people even if they claimed to be the worst person you ever met. Finally I urge everyone to think critically and never only trust one side of the coin without getting as much proof and full knowledge view on the situation.

Thank you for reading🙏🙏

This Post is by someone that wants to remain anonymous, they DM'd me this and asked me to post

The callout campaign against Kagebros has gone WAY too far. The lengths these people have gone to violate someone’s boundaries and privacy in order to “warn” people is incredibly excessive and is dealing horrible damage to their mental health and wellbeing. It needs to fucking stop.

The situation has spiraled completely out of control, spurred on by people who would rather side with a proud AI artist than have a civilized, adult discussion about tracing. Said AI artist has a history of attempting to ruin Kagebros’ credibility, spreading disinformation and rumors about them and their nonprofit charity zines, now going as far as to allegedly incite people to nonconsensually take photos of them at their booth at TFcon Baltimore, and block-evading their socials in order to find more posts to pick apart.

As they have stated already, Kagebros never had ANY intention to scam people, which understandably doesn’t change how those affected may feel. That being said, they could have very easily traced over things without altering them in any way at all, like many others within the convention vending sphere have blatantly done without a callout from these same people who care so much about “calling out tracing”. There tends to be a gray area in the realm of tracing techniques within the art industry (especially professionally), and there is plenty of merit for their actions to be criticized. As they’ve stated, they were under the impression that Official artwork/figures were okay to trace over and alter, which they now know to avoid doing so in the future. Even if the details and credibility of the piece can be scrutinized, they still made a conscious effort to alter the pieces in question to be more original.

Although said effort may not be enough for most, they now KNOW that. End of story. They can't immediately change the pieces they had available for sale, and they should be showing change through their future pieces and actions, which is something that’s up for judgment by anyone. And yet the people starting this have needlessly dragged it on, inciting others to keep spreading the accusations to further audiences, leading to more harassment.

Seafoamsol had admittedly unblocked Kagebros and “offered” to have a talk with them about the situation, but their own intentions are extremely questionable, as a conversation should have been the first priority, rather than a callout post. They assumed Kagebros’ intentions without giving them a single chance to address it themselves before the callout, and are now going forward with the narrative of them being a scammer.

Again, if they truly were concerned, they could have unblocked them and had a conversation before the callout was made, instead of assuming their intentions were to deceive people.

The situation is very nuanced, meaning there's a lot of points to be acknowledged on both sides in order to come to a conclusion, which could have happened peacefully if adults just had a civil discussion with each other. There is a justifiable talk to be had here, and reasonable changes to be made, but this can’t be accomplished productively if people continue to jump to conclusions and assume intentions. This has done nothing–and WILL do nothing–but hurt people, if this behavior doesn’t stop. mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned. Please look at this situation in its entirety before coming to your own conclusions based on assumptions made by people with evidently questionable motives and a history of causing problems for others and driving them out of the community. 

Thank you for reading.

[astronicht]

I’m anon who requested 2 and anything f1 works but maxiel if I had to choose!!!

2. running fingers through hair

(thank you everyone who prompted, these have been really helpful 2 me the past few days!!) Cited sources: i pulled some specific characterization beats from @garage-gremlin 's incredible fic over here (specifically, what max reports yuki said to him). There's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference to casual yuki/max, and also i guess some max/daniel feminization going on in here.

They are on the yacht, because Max thought it would be good to remind Daniel that he still has many good things. Like Max’s yacht.

It is unfortunately a little chilly, but even off Monaco that is what January will get you. If Daniel had not spent so long running around America, they could have gone earlier. But it was fine: Max was racing, and Daniel likes America and his friends there. He did not want to bring them on Max’s yacht, even though Max asked.

“We should go to Palermo,” Daniel says from the deck chair next to Max. The hum of the engines had almost sent Max to sleep, even with the cool air across his face. His jacket is practically thermal. He put Daniel in a matching one, and belowdecks the heat is turned all the way up. The hardwood floors are heated from beneath, like they are at Geri’s house. It’s all very nice.

“Palermo?” says Max. “Will you speak Italian then, Daniel?”

“I want fried food,” Daniel says, sidestepping the Italian. Max is convinced Daniel understands more Italian and French than he lets on, but that’s not hard because he mostly pretends he doesn’t understand any. He gives people very blank looks sometimes, in shops and things, when they approach him. It is a little funny.

“We can go to Palermo,” Max says easily. “If you want to be gone for two or three days.”

Getting a spot to dock at Palermo is pretty much impossible, but that can be taken care of.

“Maybe,” says Daniel. About as expected, Max thinks.

When Max had tracked down the third new number Daniel had gotten in three months and texted to politely ask if Daniel wanted to come out on the yacht (asking doesn’t actually work with Daniel — he’d texted “You should come on the yacht with me. 24th.”) Daniel had replied with “lol I’ll jump into the sea 🏊‍♂️🏊‍♂️🏊‍♂️” and then showed up at 6AM the morning of the 24th.

Daniel being a little moody about Palermo is nothing, really. A little pleasant, in fact.

“Did you know,” Max says to the deck chair next to him, “That Yuki says when I cover my face I look like a girl?”

Daniel, presumably hitting pause on thinking of jumping into the sea, rolls over in his deck chair to face Max.

“What?” he says.

“When I am surprised, you know,” Max says, and models it: two hands over the lower half of his face.

Daniel mostly looks confused. And a little like he darkly suspects what happened after Yuki said this— but whatever, Max is not the one who was in America all this time, doing who knows what.

There is a pause.

“You used to let me be the girl,” Max says, to the gusting wind over the Mediterranean. The sea around them is like blue velvet, choppy but soft. 

Daniel’s face is finally blank and focused. He mouths ‘let me’ to himself.

Max rolls onto his side to face Daniel as well. This is not enough. He stands up, looking down at Daniel on the deck chair.

No need to tower. He sits on Daniel’s deck chair, his jacket whispering. He reaches out and tucks a few of Daniel’s curls a little more securely under his hat, because they are dancing into his eyes in the wind. He tucks Daniel’s hair behind his ear. Daniel’s hand comes up loosely around Max’s wrist. His mouth is parted.

“If you want to be the girl, you must of course just ask,” Max says.

Daniel’s throat works. His Adam’s apple bobs. 

Max says, “The girl can still fuck me,” and laughs, because it sounds funny to say.

“Oh,” breathes Daniel, like this is what unlocked something.

Max takes Daniel’s hand from around Max’s wrist and kisses the knuckles.

“Ah, Daniel,” he says. “You are cold again.”

[f1writingbyme]

Hi everyone,

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written, and I never thought I’d be sharing something so deeply personal. But here I am, reaching out, hoping that someone else out there might understand this journey, this longing, this ache that I’m carrying. I don’t have a big following, so I don’t know if this will reach many people, but if there’s a chance it connects with even one person who’s been through something similar, it’ll be worth it.

My boyfriend and I have been trying to start a family. For over two years, we tried before finally going to our GP, who sent us straight to a clinic. It’s been a year of treatments now, a year of hopeful highs and crushing lows. We tried IUI (intrauterine insemination) four times – four times our hopes rose and fell. Then we turned to ICSI (intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) because “traditional” IVF wasn’t an option for us.

When I had my egg retrieval, they collected a lot of eggs, but only four turned into embryos. Four. Just four chances to hold onto this dream.

Today, we found out that none of those embryos made it. We’re back to square one. All those hormone shots, every bruise, every drop of blood, every ultrasound, all the mood swings, the endless hoping and praying – only to have to start from scratch. I can’t describe the exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. You go through the medications, the appointments, waiting, and waiting, just to start all over again. It feels like it’s breaking me.

We’re going to try again because we still hold onto this hope of having a baby together. But we also have to face the reality that it may never happen, and that thought shatters my heart. Watching others around me get pregnant, hearing news of new babies… it’s so hard to see, and it fills me with a mix of sadness and anger that I can’t even fully explain. I don’t want to feel this way, but it’s the truth.

I feel so alone in this. None of my close friends or family have faced something like this. I’m reaching out here, hoping to find someone who understands, someone who has been through this kind of pain and hope and heartbreak. I feel like I could just disappear, like the ground could open up and take me in, but here I am, holding onto a sliver of hope that one day, somehow, I’ll get to hold a little miracle in my arms. Until then, I’m trying my best to be patient, even when it feels like it’s breaking me.

I want to thank @lestappenforever, my best friend in the entire world, for being my rock through all of this, even from miles away. You never push, you never overwhelm me with questions — you’re just there, right when I need you. That kind of support means more to me than I can put into words. I love you. ❤️❤️❤️

I don’t know if anyone going through the same thing will see this, but if you do, please reach out. I’m here to talk, to listen, to be there for you, but also to share my story.

You’re not alone in this. Please hold onto that. ❤️

I'm going to be a lot less active on here. I'm sorry for that (if anyone cares) but I need some time to myself. Mona and I will be back on the 1st of December with something fucking amazing which I hope you all love ❤️ I want to thank you all for your support and I love you all.

[illarian-rambling]

Thank you everyone who participated in...

Illaros Illuminated: Mortal God Edition!

Below you will find Astra, Mashal, Ivander, Elsind, and Avymere answering the questions you all have so kindly sent in. Buckle up, as I'm sure it's going to be quite the ride ;)

Thanks again!

[The camera pans in on a smartly decorated studio where several people sit in comfortable seats and lounge on couches. Astra DuClaire, a human woman with vitiligo and a richly embroidered, circus-looking coat, whispers into the ear of Mashal Darezsho, a large bronze and steel robot wearing baggy clothes and looking anxiously at the camera. Ivander Montane, a blue-skinned man in an expensive suit, sips distractedly on a cup of coffee. Elsind Cavernsight, a somewhat alarming creature with damp mauve skin and a featureless face ringed by five fleshy petals, does their best to keep up a professional posture. Avymere Spearsong, a pale, white-haired elf wearing glasses and a breathing mask, does the same in a far more effortless manner]

Interviewer: "Welcome back, folks, to our second installment of Illaros Illuminated! Today we have in the studio the... well, I wouldn't call them heroes, but they've certainly saved the world a lot of trouble. Everyone give a hand to the cast for Mortal God!"

Immediately, Ivander side-eyes Avymere and Elsind to a catastrophic degree, mouthing into the camera, "I don't know them." Right as he does, Elsind makes a face that conveys the exact same emotion.

Interviewer: "Right! So, our first question comes to us from @melpomene-grey. For the whole cast, but Elsind specifically: What are the top three happiest moments of your life?"

"Wait, me specifically? Why me specifically?" Elsind's headfins do an odd sort of ripple motion as they turn to Avymere. They whisper to the elf behind their hand, "Why me specifically?" "You have a fan, it seems," Avymere replies without missing a beat. They seem thoroughly nonplussed by the whole experience thus far. "Oh!" Elsind's headfins go purple as they blush. "Wow, okay, I think my top three happiest moments.... Uh...." Astra rubs her temple with a harrowed expression. "Ace, we've gotta get you into therapy or somethin'." "I'm getting there!" Elsind crosses their arms, thinking a moment longer. "Okay, my happiest moment was probably pulling off my first mission for the Salis Legion of the People. It was the first time where I really felt I belonged - like I was making a difference. Second happiest was.... Okay, this isn't really one single memory, but all the times my mom would read to me when I was little. I just felt so safe, and even though I already knew the world was dangerous, nothing could make it past my mom back then. My third happiest memory was when I finally got my hands on The Ravishing War: A Dance of Passion and Fire box set." Mashal's brow furrows. "A what of what and what?" "The fifth book was a little slow for my taste," Ivander adds, not glancing up from examining his nails. Avymere pats Elsind's hand as their headfins droop a bit. "Your mother sounds like a lovely woman." "She is." Elsind's face melts a bit in their version of a nostalgic smile. "Anways, fan favorite over here went, it's your turn now, Trauma Number Two." Astra points with her chin over at Ivander. "Start spittin'; what's your top three memories?" Ivander gives a bitter scowl. "Cheesy rice, righteous embezzlement, and about two seconds before the worst memory of my life." "Context?" Astra raises an eyebrow. "No." "Damn. Regardless," Astra continues with a wave of her hands, "my top three're buildin' the Extraordinaire, meetin' Mashal - 'pologies to the rest a' ya - and givin' that eikorodo to my folks so they could pay off their contracts. That last one is probably the thing I'm proudest of overall in my life." Mashal smiles and though metal can't blush, the feeling is there. Off to the side, Ivander rolls his eyes, though the gesture doesn't have its usual venom.

"I only remember, like.... Oh gods, like three months of things in general." Mashal winces. "But probably my favorite three memories are when Astra gave me a new face, when I learned there was a way to get my body back, and, uh...." "You can lie, love," Astra whispers under her breath. "And I don't remember," Mashal says loudly, only to cringe. "Fucking fit for the stage, I am.... Fine, fighting Vermir. That's one of my favorite memories. I'm not proud of how the violence made me feel so content, but there it is." "Naw, that bitch deserved it," Astra grunts. "Agreed." Ivander itches at his solar plexus with a bitter expression. "Seconded," Avymere echoes. As all eyes turn to them, they straighten their cravat with a huff. "Fine, I suppose I'll take my turn under the spotlight. My favorite memories are my father taking me to my first martial arts competition, preventing the assassination and usurpation of Queen Silverwind, and finally realizing that I was capable enough to truly begin assisting my father in the running of our city." Astra and Elsind exchange a fraught and somewhat guilty glance. "You have a good relationship with your father?" Ivander asks, his eyes keen with curiosity. Avymere nods. "He raised me alone. We were always very close." "Must be nice." Ivander huffs a bitter laugh, but says nothing more.

Interviewer: "Damn, you people can yap. Anyways, our next question comes to us from @mk-writes-stuff: What is a small thing you wish existed that would improve your life a lot?"

"Easy - some way to tune in to music constantly so I don't just gotta wait for whatever they've got playin' down at the Yewbury Concert Hall." Astra flicks her earring with its many audio runes. "Somethin' a little louder to listen in on would do nicely as well." Avymere raises an eyebrow. "Like a portable gramophone of some sort?" "Pre-fuckin'-cisely." Astra sighs longingly. "A little music in the wee hours a' the mornin', at a bit more of a danceable volume - is that too much to ask?" "Yes," Mashal deadpans. The tiredness in his glass-lens eyes is palpable. "I would rather enjoy a way to know someone's location exactly," Avymere says. "Yes, there are tracking runes, but those are bulky and hard to maintain. I suppose a more streamlined tracking rune is all I'm asking for. It'd save me so much hassle." "I don't think I know you well enough for that to be anything except worrying," Ivander mutters under his breath. "I'd want some way to sleep," Mashal pipes up. "Not that I don't enjoy brass band jazz at one in the morning, but I also just really want to take a nap. Even if my body can't get tired, my brain definitely can. I just want a way to, I don't know, power off for a little while. Actually power off - not get stuck without my senses in a little black box until I start hallucinating." "Ditto." Ivander stretches with a wince. "Some quality, uninterrupted sleep - that's all I want. One of those levitation runes would be nice, like the one you gave me on Laben, Astra." Astra raises an eyebrow. "I can make ya another one, you know that, right?" "Really?!" Astra gives him a thumbs up. "We'll chat after the show." "I'd want some kind of minor telekinesis." Elsind leans back on the couch, melting into a more comfortable position. "Tell me this; have you guys ever been curled up in bed with a good book, but then suddenly, you get really hungry? You don't wanna get up because it's cold and you're really comfy, so wouldn't it just be nice if you could float a snack over into your hand?" Ivander nods in appreciation. "That's a good one, I must say." "Or you could get up and get a snack." Avymere's mouth twists in confusion. "It's not that hard. You could ask a servant." "Gods a'mighty, bright, and beyond...." Astra sighs. Fiddling quite obviously with the head of his cane, Ivander smiles coldly at the elven noble. "We'll chat after the show."

Interviewer: "Next up, also from @mk-writes-stuff: Also for Elsind: I hope this isn’t super insensitive of me but I’m desperately curious, is it comfortable to just go full ooze in an empty bathtub and just kinda chill there?"

Elsind brushes back their headfins, blushing. "Wow, lots of attention for me today." "Why wouldn't you be the fan favorite, though," Mashal says, "you're fantastic." Elsind blushes even more. "Oh, stop. Okay, but to answer the question: Yes, actually! I prefer to sleep in, I don't know, bowl-shaped things? Is that... Yeah, we'll go with bowl-shaped. I don't know, it's just more comfortable than a flat surface to me since I go liquid when I sleep. Bathtubs are nice, so are hammocks. A bed is also fine, but a hammock is my top choice of sleeping spot. And no, I wouldn't say that's an insensitive question."

Ivander leans back in his seat. "I heard somewhere that changelings are amphibious - is that true?" "Able to breathe on land and underwater," Avymere whispers as Elsind looks to them for clarification.

"Oh, no, I'm not. Or, I suppose I haven't tried." Elsind's tail flicks pensively. "Maybe, I am? I can't swim either way, so, wouldn't that be a little useless? Being able to breathe underwater but not able to swim?" "I think we're gettin' a little in the weeds here," Astra says. "But pick a day, pick a lake, and we'll test it out."

Interviewer: "Formatting is hard. Anyways, coming in from @wyked-ao3: What's your least favorite food?"

Mashal sighs sadly. "It was cherry pastries." Astra gives his hand a sympathetic pat. "The ones ya bake are real nice, at least, even if ya can't taste 'em. You know what ya cook even better, though? Potato stew! That's my favorite food." "Really?" Avymere's tone is dubious. "That's like... thin mashed potatoes?" "Fuckin' rich kid...," Astra mutters under her breath, though her expression is more bemused than anything. "Naw, it's... Well, ain't not thin mashed potatoes, but it's got other stuff in it. Cheese, chives, lots a' bacon. Come inside after a long day in the fields and there ain't nothin' better to find waitin' on the table. Lemme guess, your favorite is caviar?" Avymere's ears flick in slight irritation. "It's lavender scones, thank you very much. With lemon zest on top. They were a bit of a comfort food when I was young." "Aww!" Elsind presses their hands to their chest. "I bet you were a cute kid." "More like deeply off-putting and willfully obstinant," Avymere corrects. "But back to the question - what about you?" Elsind pauses in a moment of consideration. "Oh gods, what was that fruit called? There was a parcel of them we found in this raid once - some lord's resort, if I remember. They had a green rind and were about the size of a person's head. Ugh, they tasted divine!" "Honeydew," Ivander pipes up. "You must've got a perfectly ripe one. They taste like mush if you're too far in either direction." "Oh, it's even got a tasty name!" Elsind's face melts a bit in happiness. "My favorite is jevee yoy," Ivander says, sounding bored. "It's a hobgoblin dish Ceyrel introduced me to. It hurts my stomach something awful, but the taste is worth it." Astra nods. "Respect. Taste is always worth it, damn the next morning. Lots a' hot sauce, I'm guessin'?" Ivander grins slyly. "You know it." "Wait!" Elsind shouts. "They asked for least favorite!" Everyone pauses for a second before Astra shrugs. "Ah, well, bit's already done."

Interviewer: "Next up, from @seastarblue, for Astra and Avymere: How does it feel to be the coolest ones here?"

"Oh, these people have no taste," Ivander huffs. "Ay, that's what I'm fuckin' talkin' about!" Astra pumps her fist. "It feels damn good is how it feels!" "I mean, cool is relative," Mashal murmurs. "Avymere and Astra are definitely cool, though." Elsind pokes Avymere on the side of the head. The elf looks distinctly embarrassed. "Okay, you've got that right." Mashal smiles softly as he flicks Astra on the shoulder.

Interviewer: "@seastarblue again: Okay actual question: what’s y’all’s biggest pet peeve?"

"Gossips," Astra deadpans, staring straight at Ivander. "Braggarts," Ivander answers without missing a beat. "Oh good gods, you two." Mashal shakes his head. "People who get snippy. How about that? That's my pet peeve." "Liar - your pet peeve is when I play my music too loud," Astra says. Mashal makes a face. "Hm, okay, that too. Just cause you're half deaf doesn't mean you have to ruin my hearing also." "Love, ya don't have eardrums." "It's the principle of it, okay?" "People who can't whisper," Avymere says unprompted. Ivander raises an eyebrow. "Pardon?" "People who can't whisper. That's my pet peeve," Avymere clarifies. "It's inconvenient." "Ah." Ivander nods. "Hard agree." Elsind huffs a sigh. "Mine's gotta be people who don't return the money they borrow. And then call you broke for asking them to pay you back. Like they weren't the ones borrowing money." "Another hard agree." Ivander grins.

Interviewer: "Here's a stunner from @leahnardo-da-veggie: For Ivander: How do you feel about Elsind & Avymere? (And vice versa)"

"Well, they both have very relatable pet peeves," Ivander says. "And I must say, Avymere, I do find your taste in attire to be rather exquisite." "You can thank me for that," Astra mutters under her breath. Avymere straightens, dusting off their jacket. "You seem to be a well-mannered man, Mr. Montane. I can't say I know you all that closely, however, that can be remedied." Ivander raises an eyebrow. "By conversation or surveillance?" Avymere shrugs. "Both is best." An evil grin creeps up Ivander's face. "I like your style." "Anyone who's made it to book five of The Ravishing War has my respect," Elsind pipes up. "Have you checked out the author's prequel series?" Ivander's eyes flash as he glances abruptly up. "No. I didn't know there was a prequel." "It's about Captain Minthandra's rise to power," Elsind explains excitedly. "I won't spoil anything more, but suffice to say, that subtext between her and Empress Imrain is very much text." "Now, that is worth a read." Ivander's smile grows hungry. "Avymere, you've gotta read it too, we can start a book club!" Elsind exclaims excitedly. Avymere makes a face. "Give me a smut to war politics ratio." "Oh, ninety to ten," Ivander chuckles. "And those ten are mostly discussed in bed." Avymere rolls their eyes as Elsind and Ivander giggle to themselves, both looking terribly pleased.

Interviewer: "Another from the wonderfully skilled question-asker @leahnardo-da-veggie: For Astra: If you hadn't gone into book magic, what would you have done? Can you even picture yourself in a non-magic field?"

Astra blinks with a start. "If... If I hadn't gone into book magic? Why in the hell would I have done that?" "It's a hypothetical," Mashal whispers. "Well, yeah." Astra huffs, a little flustered. "If I didn't have book magic, I reckon... I reckon I woulda gone into seamstress work. I'm a dab hand at embroidery and I enjoy the design aspect." "You're good enough that I hired you," Avymere agrees. "You, working in a hoity-toity boutique?" Ivander shakes his head with a laugh. "I can't see it. You'd spit on someone before the hour was out." "Heh, probably." Astra makes a face. "I don't think I'd get the same fulfillment as I get outta magic either. Sewin' is fun, but it ain't my passion, ya know?" "Well, it's a good thing you do have magic," Elsind says. "Otherwise, we'd all be screwed." "Yeah, I doubt I'd be doin' all that runnin' around and fightin' robots with a needle and thread," Astra laughs.

Interviewer: "From @kaylinalexanderbooks: What is everyone's most embarrassing moment with each other?"

A collective groan works its way through the five of them. "Probably that time you walked in on me crying into a pillow in the Devaris mansion." Avymere sighs heavily. "Sorry about that, Elsind..." Elsind's headfins curl, giving the impression of a raised eyebrow. "Avymere, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Your leg was broken, you'd just gotten the time to process losing the person closest to you, and you were facing the prospect of going back to rule an entire nation literally days after all of this. Crying over that isn't embarrassing - it's eminently reasonable. Me asking you why you were carrying funeral incense with you, though... That was pretty embarrassing." Avymere chuckles softly. "It was a little oblivious of you." "Mine was probably freaking out over those bugs." Mashal tugs at his collar sheepishly. "Heh, yeah, you were doin' a whole dance tryin' to get 'em off n' everything," Astra teases. "It's not like they can bite you r' nothin'." "It's the principle of it," Mashal sniffs. "And, ugh, doesn't just watching how they move freak you out? All those legs..." "Wait, you're scared of bugs?" Ivander asks, both amused and incredulous. "Yes, they give me the shivers," Mashal answers gruffly. "All bugs or just, like, spiders and stuff?" "Anything with too many legs." Mashal crosses his arms with a huff. Ivander jots something down in his pocket journal. "Duly noted." "Mine's gotta be that time I stuck myself to a wall for 'bout ten hours." Astra chuckles with a proud look on her face. "Those gravitation runes were top a' the line, even if the auxiliaries were kinda busted." "I had to feed you soup with a straw because your hands were stuck," Mashal says, shaking his head in disbelief. "I barely got the reversal rune done in time for you to not piss your pants." Astra flicks him on the arm with a grin. "Fun times, right? Alright, Ivander, you've been awful quiet. Spill." The blue-skinned man sighs heavily. "Must I? Really?" "We swore to tell the truth before we went on," Avymere says. "I'm sure it can't be that bad," Mashal encourages. "Ugh, fine." Ivander crosses his arms. "I was fifteen. I wanted to get really ripped, you know?" Astra nods. "As fifteen-year-olds do." "So I asked my bodyguard for some workout tips, and he gave me a whole list of stuff, only half of it I understood. The first night of my 'fitness project,' I decided to start with sit-ups. Because I was a cocky shit, despite never having so much as run a mile or done a push-up in my life, I grabbed a heavy book to use as extra weight since I thought a regular sit-up would be too easy. That night, I stripped off my shirt, sat down, and promptly dropped the book on my chest hard enough to dislocate a rib." Astra stifles a laugh, while Elsind and Mashal wince in tandem. "My scream brought my uncle and about three maids running," Ivander continues, his face having gone a touch purple. "I had to explain what happened to the doctor. My poor bodyguard got fired and I never touched sit-ups again. Not to mention I overheard the youngest maid, who I always thought was sort of cute, talking to one of her friends about how my nipples are a particular shade of indigo." There's a pause before Astra asks, "Well, are they?" Ivander shoots her a dirty look, but doesn't refute the statement.

Interviewer: "Continuing with questions from @kaylinalexanderbooks: What is one topic that you could give an impromptu speech about for an hour?"

Astra snorts in amusement. "What couldn't I talk about for an hour? I could talk about a godsdamned history of orcish textiles for an hour!" Avymere raises an eyebrow. "Do you know anything about orcish textiles?" "No, I just like to lie," Astra replies. "Okay, but what would your actual speech be on?" Elsind asks. "Easy - necessary educational reforms the Skolan schoolin' system needs to make if they wanna have a functional workin' populace in the comin' decade. Next!" "I could definitely talk about workplace drama for an hour," Ivander admits. "Okay, probably longer. Saldana in accounting and Resha in corrections have been in the process of getting a divorce for two years now and I know way too many details." Avymere raises an eyebrow. "I think you'd enjoy some of my stories from the court of Salis. I could talk for an hour simply on what I've found in nobles' sock drawers." "Books, that's mine," Elsind adds. "I love giving people book recommendations. I swear I've got like a psychic feel for it!" Mashal rubs the back of his head. "I'm not sure if I could talk for an hour period. Maybe comparing styles of horse training? Or art? I could probably talk about art for an hour." "We can do a double-talk about the influence of runes on art!" Astra says excitedly. Ivander raises an eyebrow. "That's a thing?" "Oh, we chat about it all the time, it's really cool." Mashal grows more animated as he continues. "So, it kinda goes back to one of the founders of the Republic, Cardor Dular. He was this renowned book mage, but he was also close with another of the founding generals, Agita N'Jogu. Historically, the N'Jogu family had this tradition-"

Interviewer: "Okay, home stretch! Here's the first of three questions from @rumeysawrites: To Astra and Mashal: What made you realize you liked each other?"

Astra cocks her head. "But I've always liked 'im?" "Like, romantically," Masha whispers behind his hand. "When did we realize we liked the other romantically." "Oh! That makes more sense." Astra pulls Mashal close and kisses him on the cheek, causing his glowing eyes to jump in brightness. "Like a dumbass, I realized right when you admitted ya had feelins' for me. I reckon... I reckon I probably loved ya for a while before that, but I'd never been in a serious relationship before - hell, I ain't even had that many friends - so I didn't recognize the feelin' til you put a name to it." Though it's physically impossible, as they lack anatomy, the impression of hearts in Elsind's eyes is undeniable as they smile proudly. "I, well, I think I realized I liked you all the way back in Salis," Mashal admits. "Something about the way you smiled, the way you'd swooped in to rescue me when I'd been working to rescue you, just made my heart feel warm for once." Avymere raises an eyebrow. "Back in Salis when I was actively trying to kill you?" Mashal nods, a dreamy expression on his face. "Yeah.... Anyways, I have to give Elsind some credit for being the one to actually talk me into admitting my feelings. Insecurity's a bitch, especially when your body has been quite literally stolen away and replaced with a solid ton of unfeeling steel." Elsind bows lightly. "I am but a humble romance enthusiast. All I did was give a pep talk and set up some flowers." Ivander shakes his head in wonder. "Damn, now that's something I wish I could've seen. I always thought you two would make a good couple, you know?" "I thought you were both gay, if I'm being honest," Avymere admits. "Bit of a shock, really...." "I mean, back in the army-" Mashal abruptly cuts off. "Nevermind, actually." "I kinda thought I might be too, but naw, I'm just slow to romance and my one other stint happened to be with a lady," Astra says. Avymere sighs in relief. "Oh, that makes so much more sense."

Interviewer: "Okay, here's our second from @rumeysawrites: For Elsind: What's the most negative thing you've ever said about someone?"

"I tried to murder Avymere's father." Elsind stares directly into the camera. "I was a soldier in an organization accused of terrorism and violent uprising. I kidnapped people and stole their identities on multiple occasions." "Answer the question, ace," Astra prompts with a grin. "The backwards spawn of a goat's rotting cunt!" Elsind exclaims. "Just because I try to be positive and kind to everyone doesn't mean I don't know swear words!" Ivander lets out a low whistle and jots another note in his journal. Avymere blinks in surprise. "Whoever warranted that?" "It's okay to let your anger out sometimes," Mashal reassures. "I'm sure whoever it was deserved it." "Parking cop," Elsind mutters. "The cart I was using to transport other rebels into Salis got ticketed while I was out for five minutes. It'd been... a long day." Astra chuckles under her breath. "I knew ya had it in you."

Interviewer: "And lastly, from @rumeysawrites: What is everyone's most fun memory with the others?"

"I don't know if I've ever had fun with any of you," Ivander says without missing a beat. "Oh, come on, camping on Laben was kinda fun." Astra grins as she pokes him lightly on the shoulder. "I mean, it was creepy as shit, but I got to watch you eat pocket jerky for the first time." "Okay, fine, playing cards while Mashal was out was entertaining," Ivander admits. "Astra, I'll never forget going to a concert hall for the first time with you," Mashal says with a smile. "Music is so much bigger in person." Elsind and Avymere exchange a glance. "Okay, hear me out-" Elsind starts. Avymere makes a face. "I don't want to" "-but I thought traveling to the Sarytas was a lot of fun." "I was hiding in a suitcase during the day for a week!" Avymere exclaims. "And we got to hang out at nights!" Elsind counters. "It was like a big extended slumber party." "Except we were facing death at every moment and, again, I was hiding in a suitcase for hours at a time every day. Do you know how badly my back hurt?" Elsind makes an exaggerated sad face. "Weren't our chats fun, though?" Avymere hesitates before answering with a sigh. "...Yes, they were fun."

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[shepherds-of-haven]

hey, this is the anon who sent in the ask about loving the idea of a red - mc - briony triangle lol! you asked what i'm intrigued by so here it is (sorry if i'm butchering your characters with this, maybe it only works with my own mc and the vibes in my head)

it's a couple different things. first, i feel like the safety of that relationship would be unbelievable. the trust and genuine love would be insane. red and briony are both such compassionate and empathetic people and in that triad any one of them would have a soft place to land with the other two. so many steadying conversations and so much quiet comfort when it's needed, distractions (especially from briony lol) from difficult feelings or situations when it's needed. just the idea that, as fun and lighthearted as that relationship would be, there's always that undercurrent of deep deep understanding and unconditional space held. yeah

and god that relationship just seems like it Would be so fun and they would all so obviously adore each other....it could get to the point of being almost annoying for the other shepherds if it wasn't also so sweet lol. can't imagine them trying to rub it in anyone's faces at all but it would be SO heartbreaking for all those secret admirers to watch briony light up at the sight of red or mc and go bounding off to them across the courtyard, or to hear the way red can't seem to finish an entire thought out loud without managing to work some aside about one or both of mc and briony into it. (feeling like the relationship gets completely outed when a recruit heading down to the kitchens for a snack in the early morning catches briony and red coming out of mc's room. at the same time.)

i also think i just love the sort of natural push and pull that relationship would probably have to involve??? you've got briony there as a force for justice and assertiveness when it's necessary, when red tries valiantly to make conversation work in a situation where it simply won't, or when mc allows an insult to slide for the sake of maintaining professionalism. but red (and mc, depending on who exactly they are lmao) would also be able to curb the worst excesses of that and make sure she doesn't tip over into recklessness. and then briony and mc could immediately help pump the brakes on the more self-destructive tendencies red has, especially when it comes to his research- there are two people there who are perceptive enough to know whether or not he's eating, who can persuade him to come to bed instead of falling asleep at his desk (and who put blankets over his shoulders and pillows under his head on the nights he doesn't quite make it there). and of course, bigger picture, briony and mc (at least mien lol) would be knowledagble enough about magic and concerned enough about red's experiments w the worldwalkers to keep an eye out and who would notice, intervene, and have a serious conversation with him if his drive started to go down a dark or dangerous path. mc's trickier lol but at least in my little world with my mc, he really trusts both of them with some of his most private thoughts re: his fear of what's coming and his worries about failure, letting everyone down up to and including the gods, his past, etc.- they're people who are steadfastly loyal, and for mcs who would need space to talk about their anxieties they seem like they would be so safe, willing to challenge things that don't sound right or border on self-sacrificial but also gentle when they do it....i just think they would all bring out the best in each other, while also helping each other avoid the pitfalls of the most passionate (but consuming) parts of themselves. the stuff that's good in moderation but can get scary when it's too far

i could actually write a dissertation on this lmao i started typing and just kept realizing i had more to say. thank you SO SO MUCH for characters that are this fascinating and fun to imagine lol, i hope this wasn’t too much!!

Ahhhh thanks so much for sharing!!! I absolutely love reading thoughts like this, I think you're absolutely spot on with the characters and how a poly relationship between them would go! :) This was lovely, thanks so much for the fun read! 💖

[anywhere-with-you-event]

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