#nat explains things unnecessarily | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

videovamptramp · 1 year ago

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i would do anything for you to love me

(song: american hero - rainbow kitten surprises // natasha x fem reader)

summary - you have an obvious crush on natasha, and consistently do little things that prove so. though, she’s a grump who doesn’t know how to respond to your advances. this ultimately leads to her hurting your feelings.

warnings: mean nat, grumpy natasha, y/n is too sweet for her own good. a bit angsty but fluffy ending

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“hey nat!” you exclaim, and natasha nearly drops her coffee mug due to the sound of your high pitched voice. natasha turns to glare at you, “how many times do i have to tell you not to call me that?" she snaps, and your shoulders deflate a bit. “sorry, natasha! i just wanted to see if you were alright. you came back from that mission yesterday and you didn’t even have dinner...” you say, and natasha turns her head to keep her back towards you. “i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but natasha didn’t know that you knew that.

you merely nod, “okay, nat— natasha. i just brought you some of those banana and nutella crepe’s you like from that place downtown. here.” you reveal, as you place the to-go box on the counter that the redhead was leaning on. “thanks.” natasha mutters, and you smile widely at the small moment of politeness. natasha turns her head to see you smiling like an idiot, and her scowl returns as something unwanted in her stomach flutters. “is that all you wanted?” natasha asks a bit harshly, and your smile falters. “oh, yeah! sorry! i’ll leave you alone now!” you promise as you scurry away, leaving natasha alone. at least she thought she was alone.

“god, you’re such a cunt.” yelena murmurs, half asleep as she walks into the kitchen of the compound. natasha glares at her younger sister, “well good morning to you too.” natasha hisses, and yelena rolls her eyes as she reaches for a clean mug. yelena doesn’t say anything else to the redhead as she pours herself a cup of fresh coffee. "what has you in such a crap mood?” natasha asks, evidently annoyed. “nothing. i just figured we were all being asshole’s today, considering how you just behaved with y/n.” yelena’s response causes natasha to scoff. “oh please, i’m always like that with her. she’s like, borderline obsessed with me. nothing i say bothers her.” the older woman explains with a careless shrug, and yelena blinks at her sister in disbelief.

“she has a crush on you, идиот (idiot). god forbid somebody actually cares about you.” yelena whispers with a hiss in order to keep herself from snapping at her sister. natasha rolls her eyes, “i don’t want her to care about me. i don’t care about her at all. the sooner she realizes that, the better.” natasha simplifies, and shakes her head in dismay, before scoffing. ”you don’t deserve her anyways.” yelena mutters as she reaches for the to-go box that was originally for natasha. natasha glares, “that’s mine—” “you don’t deserve it.” yelena cuts in with a snarky tone, before she takes the crepes and coffee back to her room, leaving natasha alone.

natasha throws her coffee out into the sink, by now it's gone dog-nose cold. she tries to continue on with her day after that, though her thoughts of you, and the amount of unnecessarily sweet things you do for her, circulate through her mind. the way you leave files on her desk with cute little sticky notes. you bring her lunch or dinner up to her room, whenever she’s too mentally exhausted to join the team in the kitchen. you even bring her a protein shake after her practices and training sessions. natasha doesn’t remember telling you her favorite flavor protein shake, but you somehow know it’s peanut butter and chocolate.

the next morning natasha wakes up, and the kitchen is abnormally empty. she opens the cabinet, hoping someone bought new coffee so she wouldn’t have to. low and behold, there was a weeks worth of coffee in the cabinet with a sticky note and your handwriting on it.

“hey natasha! i’m going out of town for a week but i restocked the place with your favorite things! — y/n.”

natasha reaches for the note, and frowns. out of town? you didn’t mention a vacation to her. then again, she hadn’t really been in a talking mood yesterday. she never really was. “morning natasha. oh sweet!! someone bought coffee!” bucky exclaims as he reaches for the new tub of coffee beans. natasha stuffs the note in her pocket, “hey, where’s y/n?” natasha asks, and bucky furrows his brows. “she went out of town to visit her family for a week. i thought she told everyone about it the other day?” bucky questions, and natasha thinks back to a few days ago.

“hey nat!” you exclaim, your bubbly voice filling the gym as you bounce in. natasha scowls at the sight of you, “what do you want?” she asks, sounding harsher than usual. “oh, i was just looking for you to tell you something! i brought your shake!” you admit as you hand her the protein shake. “look, y/n, whatever you have to say, save it. i’m not in the mood today.” she snaps, and you frown. “o-oh okay. sorry nat i—”

“and my name is natasha!” she raises her voice and you flinch a bit. a wave a of guilt washes over her for a second, but she keeps her arms crossed and a glare on her face. “sorry natasha.” you mumble before walking out, and leaving natasha to train. “wow.” wanda chirps in, and natasha looks over at the other redhead. “what?” natasha asks angrily, “she just wanted to give you a shake and have a conversation.” wanda points out, and natasha rolls her eyes. “i don’t want to talk to her. and i didn’t ask her to make me a shake. i never ask her for anything. you’d think she’d take the hint and stop already.” natasha grumbles, and wanda nods. “well, maybe one day she will. i do think you’ll miss the actions more than she will though. so be careful what you wish for.” wanda warns, and natasha waves her off with narrowed her eyes as shoves her earbuds in and takes a big chug of her shake. it’s peanut butter and chocolate. her favorite.

“i guess she forgot to tell me.” natasha mutters, and bucky nods. “well, she’ll be back on sunday night.” he assures her as he opens the fridge. “oh sweet, there’s new bacon!!” he exclaims in a giddy tone, and natasha swallows thickly. you’re not here and you still did something for her.

natasha feels your absence throughout the day. it’s as if the compound is dimmer, and lacking any life. nobody brings natasha her shake, and she had to make it herself; though it doesn’t taste as good as when you make it. natasha always uses too much peanut butter. the rest of natasha’s day is no better. she doesn’t join the team for dinner, and she isn’t greeted by the sound of your soft knocks and a plate of her favorite foods.

natasha’s entire week without you is unexpectedly hell. for some reason, you seem to be the only person who seeks natasha out. you know when she’s having a bad day, you know when she’s had a terrible mission, you even know when she’s in a good mood. natasha doesn’t understand how you know all these things about her, she’s never once bothered to open up to you. it makes her feel a surge of guilt as she recalls all the times you’d try to talk to her, and she’d turn you down. she wishes she understood why she suddenly felt so weak without you. why her days dragged on when she didn’t hear the sound of your voice.

you return on sunday night, and as soon as natasha sees you, she knows somethings wrong. you smile at her, but you don’t greet her with your usual “hey nat!”. you drag your bags up to your room, and without a word you don’t come out until the morning. natasha doesn’t sleep that night; you’ve been gone for a week, and you didn’t even bother to say hello to her. why? you’re in the kitchen the next morning, chatting with yelena, “hey natasha.” you greet her with a soft smile. she doesn’t enjoy the way her full name sounds rolling off your tongue, despite how many times she demanded it.

“morning.” she greets back, eyeing you for a moment before shuffling passed bucky and thor to the coffee machine. natasha makes herself a cup of coffee, and can’t help but listen to you and yelena quietly talk about some show yelena’s watching. she doesn’t understand why it bothers her that you’re talking to someone else and not her. it’s what she wanted isn’t it? to be left alone by you. natasha huffs, and is out of the kitchen as soon as her mug is full of piping hot coffee.

today you don’t bring natasha a shake, and you don’t go out of your way to see or talk to her. natasha is in a grumpier mood than usual because of it. she hopes this is just a momentary thing. maybe you’re just taking it out on her for the way she acted before you left. you’ll be back to normal again by tomorrow. right? natasha doesn’t know why she's hoping that’s the case.

that definitely isn’t the case. the next three days pass and you barely say a word to natasha. you still smile at her, but the shine in your eyes seems to have disappeared. natasha has a haunting realization that you may have realized what yelena has been saying all along; you deserve better. better than natasha and her complex moods. better than the way she treats you. better than her and her need to push away anyone who truly cares about her.

natasha hasn’t been to dinner with the team for two weeks now, and you haven’t once brought her a plate. something about the sudden distance makes natasha inexplicably angry. your cheerfulness in your voice is gone whenever speaking to her, and she can’t figure out why your smile doesn’t reach your eyes like it did before. it takes two and a half weeks of this for natasha to get fed up and finally do something about it. she finds you on the treadmill in the gym alone, getting your cardio in.

this time, natasha tries a different approach. she brings you a protein shake. “hey. this is for you.” natasha says bluntly, and it causes your running to falter as you stop the electric machine and face natasha. she’s holding out a chocolate shake, and you eye it carefully. “i swear i didn’t poison it.” she promises, and you raise your eyebrows. “did— did you make it? for me?” you ask a bit uncertainly. natasha’s brows are scrunched together, and she scoffs.

“well, i don’t see anyone else in here do you?” she asks impatiently, still holding the protein shake. you gladly take it, and a small smile tugs at your lips. “thanks natasha.” you thank her, before taking a sip. it has way too much chocolate in it, but you don’t mind. the gesture is undoubtedly sweet. natasha stands there for a moment, and you blink up at her. “it’s good.” you obviously lie politely in order to spare her feelings, and natasha rolls her eyes. “you make them better than i do.” she grunts out, making your smile widen.

for some reason the curve on your lips makes natasha’s chest flutter. she clears her throat, “i’m uh— i’m sorry if i scared you off. i don’t take to kindness too well... your little acts of genuine kindness scared me. it wasn’t my intention to be such a jerk to you.” natasha apologizes, refusing to meet your eyes. you’re a bit surprised by the unexpected apology, and you shake your head quickly. “you didn’t!” you respond without thinking, “you didn’t scare me off... the truth is it’s been a tough few weeks for me. i’m not very close with my parents and whenever i visit, a fight always breaks out. it wasn’t my intention to make you think i was shutting you out, i’ve just been a little sad since going back home.” you promise, and her eyes widen.

“wait, so you... you aren’t angry with the way i’ve been treating you?” she asks and you shrug. “sure, sometimes you hurt my feelings, but sometimes i can see in your eyes how much you’re hurting. you deserve kindness, natasha. even if you don’t know how to accept it.” your voice is sincere, and natasha’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed so tightly it might pop. something inside of her snaps and she doesn’t even feel the tears brimming in her eyes. your eyes almost widen at the sight of her tears, “why? why are you so nice to me all the time?” natasha asks in a frustrated manner. why is it impossible to hate you? why doesn’t she want to?

“because i know what it feels like when the world hasn’t been kind. like i said, you deserve kindness, natasha.” you iterate, and the redhead lets her chest rise and fall before saying “yo-you can call me nat.” the smile you give her makes it feel like someone lit a match in her belly.

after that, there’s quite a difference in your friendship with natasha; if you could even call it a friendship. the two of you were nearly always together; during breakfast, during training sessions. on late nights doing paperwork, you’d keep natasha company, and she didn’t mind. it goes on like this for a few months, the subtle flirting, light touches, and longing looks. everyone on the team notices, including you both. the problem is, neither of you are brave enough to make the first move.

until you’re both put on a mission with peter and steve. it’s supposed to be an easy mission; peter and steve infiltrate the building across town with the databases and broadcasts, while natasha sets up a bomb in the secret hydra location downtown. except, it’s two minutes passed the time natasha’s supposed to have came out, and she still isn’t here. “steve— don’t start the bomb, nat’s not here yet.” you order, “what? *static* — do you mean— *static* —ot there?” steve’s mics chooses the worst time to start cutting out.

“rogers, stop the plan i’m going in for nat!” you say, and the mic goes silent. “steve?” you ask, but you don't get a response. within a moment a loud explosion sounds throughout the building, and your eyes go wide as the blood goes straight to your ears. you don’t even think twice before rushing out of the van, and running into the building. your eyes dart around, and you find the stairway right way. you go downstairs to where natasha’s supposed to be, and your eyes widen as you see she’s pretty busy fighting off three guys.

you rush over and pry one guy away from her, punching him square in the nose, then kicking him in the crotch. natasha uses one of her widow bites to tase the man, and she doesn’t notice you pulled your gun out until she hears the first shot. she looks over and sees the large man slump forward, and you don’t hesitate to shoot the other right between the eyes. natasha has never seen you use a gun before, and it causes her mouth to go dry for a moment.

you look at her, acting on complete instinct, as you grab her wrist and pull her for the nearest exit. not even a second after you push her out of the building, and stumble on top of her, the building collapses. surely leaving no survivors on the inside. you let out a silent breath of relief, nearly forgetting you’re literally on top of natasha romanoff. natasha pushes you off, glaring at you, “are you out of your fucking mind?!” the redhead shouts, and you frown up at her, propping yourself up on your wrists as she stands up. “why are you yelling at me!?” you ask loudly, your ears still ringing from the explosion.

“because you’re an idiot! you were supposed to follow orders and wait in the van!” natasha looks like shes seething, clenching her fists as she glowers at you. the police sirens snap you guys out of your feud, as you stand up. “get back in the van.” you order, and she scoffs as she follows you back into the van. as soon as you're both in, you speed away from the scene.

“rogers? parker? are you there?” natasha asks, as she uses the emergency walkie. “we’re here, natasha. where y/n? she was trying to tell me something before we got cut out.” steve says over the walkie talkie, and you look over your shoulder, “nothing. it doesn’t matter now.” you say, and natasha glares at you. “doesn’t matter?! you could’ve died! she completely went off orders and ran into the building, rogers.” natasha throws you under the bus and your eyes widen. “what?? y/n, you were supposed to wait in the van!” he reminds and you huff in frustration, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drive back to the compound.

“we’ll talk about this when we meet back at the compound.” steve adds, and your shoulder slouch a bit. you know you’re in for it. when you get to the compound, natasha completely ignores you as she practically stomps to the elevator. you sigh as you watch you her walk away. “y/n, your bleeding.” steve points out, as he gestures to your shoulder. “i think one of the guys i was fighting had a knife or something? it’s just a slash.” you assure him, and peter shakes his head. “that’s a pretty deep slash.” he mutters and steve flashes him a look, “that’s because it’s not a slash. it’s a gash. you need to get to medbay and get that stitched up.” he orders and you want to protest, but the stern look on his face advises you not to.

“yes sir.” you reply as you walk away with your head down. you aren’t upset that steve is disappointed, you’re more upset that natasha is angry at you for saving her. did she really expect you to just sit back and wait for her to die in an explosion? did she really think you weren’t going to go in there for her? your thoughts whirl around your head the entire way to medbay. you don’t mean to be so sensitive, but you can’t help but feel hurt as you realize natasha is angry with you. you don’t like it when natasha is upset with you.

“hey steve, where’s y/n?” yelena asks, sitting on the edge of the countertop as natasha rummages through the fridge for a beer. “medbay. she has a gash in her shoulder that needs stitches.” he admits and natasha knocks over the tub of juice as she practically pulls her head out of the fridge. “she got hurt?” the redhead asks demandingly, and peter shakes her head. “it’s not that bad, it’s just a cut.” he reassures the widow, and natasha slams the fridge shut.

“just a cut? a cut she didn’t even mention— oh i’m gonna kill her!” natasha hisses and the team hears her heavy footsteps as she angrily makes her way to the elevator. “natasha.” steve calls out, keeping his voice calm. she spins around, “what?!” she asks harshly, and he flashes her a look. “go easy on her. i don’t know why she went against my orders, but she sounded frantic before the mic cut off. whatever it was, i’m sure it was worth it to her.” he says, and natasha blinks a few times, the anger slowly leaving her body. you ran into that building for her. if you two would’ve left a second later, you’d both be dead.

natasha doesn’t respond; she swallows thickly, and makes her way to the elevator. the entire way to the medbay she thinks about how mean she was, after you quite literally put your life at risk for her. she also thinks about how sexy you looked while firing a gun. the beep of the elevator brings natasha out of her thoughts as she steps out, and she can already hear you and bruce going back and fourth. “come on, just tell me if it’s green.” you beg and he flashes you a stringent expression. “i’m not going to tell you if hulk’s junk is green!” he scolds, sounding extremely irritated and embarrassed while he attempts to keep still. he was nearly halfway through with your stitches, but you weren't helping by squirming every other minute.

natasha chuckles, causing you both to look over at where she was standing, leaning against the doorway. “you know, i always wondered that too.” she reveals, and bruce rolls his eyes. “oh great, now you’re both here. it’s bad enough i have to listen to this one’s way too personal questions, now i have to make sure these stitches are perfect.” bruce mutters, and natasha smirks, “better make sure you do a great job, banner. and try not to hurt her." natasha says protectively. you blush obviously, and bruce rolls his eyes as he continues.

you glance over at natasha who’s staring intently at the wound on your shoulder. “are you still pissed at me?” you ask, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to reality. she meets your gaze, and she shrugs. “only when i look at you.” she blurts out, and you frown, you shift and bruce glares at you causing you to halt your movements. “did you really come all the way here to tell me you’re still pissed?” you question, narrowing your eyes at the redhead. she crosses her arms tightly, turning her head to the side so she doesn’t have to meet your eyes.

when she doesn’t respond you scoff, turning your own head so you wouldn’t have to look at her anymore either. natasha glances at you every couple of minutes until bruce is done, but you keep your sight locked on the wall beside you. “alright, i’ll give you some antibiotic cream for it, you know the drill. come back next week so i can take the stitches out.” he explains adamantly, and you do a poor imitation of a salute. “sir yes sir.” you joke, making him shake his head, but there’s a faint smile tugging at his lips. “don’t make this a habit, y/n/n.” he adds, and natasha’s piercing eyes snap over to you both. “she won’t.” the redhead answers for you, and you flash bruce a look. “you heard her.” you state, and bruce nods as he makes his way out.

he leaves you and natasha alone, and a silence washes over you both. you gnaw on your bottom lip as you glance at her, before your eyes begin to dart around the room. your kicking your right leg back and fourth in anticipation, mentally preparing yourself to get yelled at or scolded (or both) by natasha. “what you did was seriously stupid. you do get that right? you could’ve died.” the taller woman scolds, but her tone isn’t as harsh as before. you narrow your eyes at her, “you could’ve died! if i hadn’t gone in there... you... you wouldn’t be here right now.” the haunting realization hits you as the words leave your mouth. tears brim your eyes as you clench your fists, “i don’t care if you’re angry! i’d do it again in a heartbeat!” you snap, and natasha looks taken back at the confession. as if the thought of you risking your life for her was so far fetched. as if you don’t think about her every morning and every night. as if her rare smile doesn’t make your day. as if she isn't the only consistent thought running through your chaotic mind all damn day.

“i have been nothing but an asshole to you! do you see that or are you blind?? why would you want to risk your life for someone like me?!” natasha yells back, her nostrils flaring as she crosses her arms, unknowingly flexing her bicep muscles. you have to remind yourself not to ogle her. your fingernails dig into your palms, nearly drawing blood as a few tears leave your eyes. “because you’re not just a fucking asshole, natasha! you’re a person! you’re a great person, and i don’t care how self deprecating you are, you deserve to live! and i— i wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t around... okay?” your voice breaking towards the end as tears fall out of her eyes rapidly.

natasha’s demeanor changes, as her arms fall to her sides, and her jaw unclenches. “what do you mean?” she asks, and you scoff as you turn your head to look at the wall. “please don’t pretend like you don’t know.” you whisper in a pleading tone, and natasha stares at you with those intense emerald eyes. “pretend i don’t know what, y/n?” natasha questions again, this time her tone is more demanding. you look at her, your eyes full of emotions. she’s never seen you so passionately upset, “pretend that you don’t know i’m hopelessly in love with you!” you hiss, balling your fists as you look at her while you cry.

natasha’s eyes nearly widen at the confession, and she stares at you as if she can see right through you. you sigh, shaking your head and wiping your tears away with your palms, “i know you could never love me, and maybe that’s why you don’t understand why i couldn’t just sit back today and let... let you get hurt. i had to go in there, and i would do it again. no matter the outcome.” you iterate certainly, and natasha is looking at you with an unreadable expression. “you’re wrong.” natasha mutters, and you roll your eyes. “if you’re about to gaslight me into thinking i don’t love you, you can just go, nat. i’ve had a long day.” you say in a exhausted tone.

natasha grits her teeth, “you had a long day?! i just almost watched the woman i love get blown up because of me!” natasha shouts, and her hand clamps over her mouth as soon as the words leave her mouth. your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline as soon as you hear those words. “the— the woman you love...? you love me?” you ask, your tone laced with a bit of disbelief and giddiness as your eyes flutter up to meet hers. she takes a step backwards, shaking her head, “n-no i didn’t— i didn’t say that. you misheard.” she says simply, and you grin, finally the air is light again. you giggle despite your tears, “no, i’m pretty sure i heard correctly. i’m also pretty sure there’s high tech cameras in this room, i’ll just ask FRIDAY to run the video.” you shrug and she narrows her eyes at you. “you can, but then you’ll be disappointed because i didn’t say love.” she insists, lying right through her teeth.

“it’s too late for take backs, nat.” you flash her a feline smile, and she scoffs. “there’s nothing to take back!” she defends herself adamantly, and you frown. “oh... okay.” you feign disappointment, pretending to actually feel hurt. she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms again, “god, you’re such a baby. i can’t believe i’m in love with someone who acts like a child.” she murmurs, and your eyes light up. “you’re in love with me?!” you ask, and she looks up at the ceiling. “you keep mishearing things, y/n. you sure that bomb didn't affect your ears?" she plays dumb.

you groan in mock frustration, “naaat.” you drag out her name whiningly, and she can’t help but grin. “fine. maybe i said it. once or twice.” she murmurs finally giving in, and your face breaks out into a gigantic smile. “i knew it! i knew you loved me!” you exclaim as you throw your arms around her neck and pull her in for a hug as you stay seated on the small bed. she rolls her eyes, but eventually hugs back. “can i have a kiss now?! please?” you ask hopefully, and natasha sighs, rolling her eyes as she pretends to be annoyed.

she pulls away, and before you can say anything else, she’s cupping your jaw with one of her strong hands and leaning down to kiss you. your heart is on the brinks of exploding, and you have no idea where to put your hands, but they instinctively land on her waist while you kiss back. suddenly every dismal emotion you've felt today dissipates, and all you can feel is a burst of warm joy. when she pulls away there's this soft smile on her face, and her eyes are full of love. "totally worth almost dying." you whisper, and she rolls her eyes playfully as she leans in and kisses you again.

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natashasnoodle · 2 years ago

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Don't Get Angry | Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

Words: 4.1k

Summary: You and Natasha save each other, over and over. Based on the lyrics of 'Army' by Besomorph.

Triggers: Starts off fluffy, ends in angst. No happy ending. Vormir </3 injuries, panic attacks

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

Natasha struggled to sleep.

It wasn’t anything new, it was something she had always battled with. She thought that it was something that was just normal for someone in her line of work. Her brain couldn’t shut off.

That was until she started dating you.

As your relationship progressed and you began to sleep in the same bed, it became evident that Nat was struggling, even though she hated to admit it. Occasionally during the night you would wake up and become a little restless, enough to wake yourself up to notice that Nat would be staring up at the ceiling.

At first, she tried to push you away when you started questioning her about it.

Eventually, she caved. She was so tired. She needed to sleep.

As she explained it to you, she became teary-eyed. She wanted to be normal, she wanted to sleep by your side and feel completely comfortable and well-rested like you did. She was desperate.

Your heart broke for her, so you vowed to help her. Having not even been dating for too long at this point, Natasha was worried about becoming a burden. She gave you an out. One that you refused to take.

She had done that a few times. Provided you with the option to leave her.

At first, you were offended. How could you not be? It seemed as though every time things got tricky she wanted to give up, she seemed fine with giving you these outs. It was hard not to think she was asking you if you wanted to leave to hide the fact that she wanted you to leave.

But, as time went on, it all became clear. She was giving you an out because she never wanted anyone to feel trapped because of her. She didn’t want anyone to feel trapped like she did.

So she kept giving you the option. It was a bad habit that you wanted her to break, but for now, all you did was say how much you wanted to be with her and moved on.

As she lay there huffing and sighing after you forced her to drink some Malt Milk and listen to some sleep playlists on Spotify, you kept reminding her of how much you loved her, and that this was not an issue. At that time, she felt like she was being unnecessarily babied, she viewed it as some kind of weakness.

At first, it was a battle to take steps to help her sleep. She just wanted to lie down in silence like a normal person who didn’t drink warm milk drinks to try and get to sleep. The fight to get her to just go along with it and try was half the problem. She would get herself so worked up about it that she felt too angry to go to bed.

Then she snapped at you.

When she saw your face drop as you started playing awkwardly with the corner of a blanket, she felt her heart drop to her stomach. She didn’t mean to hurt you, she just had never been cared for before. She found it sweet, but to her, it was also a little suffocating.

You both apologised. You promised to give her a little more space when it came to these things, and she promised to be more open with what you suggested.

That night wasn’t a good night's sleep for any of you. Even though you were on good terms, there was still a guilty feeling on both sides. You were worried you were pushing each other away.

The next night you gave her space. She made herself the drink, and she picked the playlist. You lay next to each other talking softly until you felt tired, and this time, you both fell asleep, shuffling closer to each other through the night until you woke up in each other's arms.

That was the first time Nat ever cuddled someone.

She loved it.

---

Two Avengers dating was something that could come with terrifying situations when on the field. It meant that you weren’t just looking out for your teammates, but your soulmate.

Natasha always tried to protect you. You always tried to protect Natasha.

It had led to a few short-lived arguments when either of you were reckless in trying to save the other. The two of you were the biggest hypocrites that you knew. Natasha would yell at you for putting yourself in harm's way for her, and then all of two seconds later she would do the same for you.

It caused a lot of eye rolls for the rest of the team whenever they were standing nearby or heard the commotion on comms. But even after every mission conflict, you would hug when it was over and thank every God in the cosmos that you could still feel her warmth against you.

You had never argued on the jet home before, always just being grateful that you were on your way home. Together.

This time? Yeah, that was not the case.

The team had some bad intel. There were a lot more people than anticipated. It was an ambush.

Each one of you was fighting hand, tooth, and nail in order to survive.

Having all been separated thanks to the copious amounts of enemies you were each fighting off, it was hard to keep track of everything. Your lungs were burning, and so were your ribs thanks to the hits you received to them.

Even though you yourself was one wrong move from death, your mind could only think about Natasha. She was also alone fighting off her own group. Maybe she was losing the fight? Maybe she got hurt? The adrenaline running through your veins at the thought of your girlfriend getting hurt allowed you to power through, incapacitating enough people to be able to make an escape.

You sprinted for what felt like forever, taking down a few more people while at it. Yet, you still couldn’t find Natasha.

Panic was flowing through you. You had run past everyone else other than Natasha. This didn’t make sense to you. So, you did another lap of the facility. Feet pounding against the rocks, tired and painful thanks to your ankle rolling a few times, you sprinted around to the other side again, avoiding the bullets being sent your way.

But then your blood ran cold. You spotted the redhead holding her own in what looked to be a tough fight, that was all well and good. Except for the sniper on a nearby rooftop aiming their gun right at her.

It was instinct.

Without thinking, you sprinted forward and barrelled into her, sending the both of you tumbling to the floor at the same time the bullet was fired. It avoided Natasha but hit you.

Her eyes widened as she saw you wince and immediately sat up, blasting widow bites at the remaining few enemies surrounding the two of you. “Where did it hit?”, she spoke authoritatively, not currently being your girlfriend, but an Agent on duty. She couldn’t afford for emotion to take over just yet, especially when you could be seriously hurt.

With a groan, you sat up and shook your head. “I’m fine, Nat. It’s just a flesh wound”, you looked at your forearm that had a deep chunk ripped out, blood gushing.

“No, you’re not fine”, she spoke with gritted teeth and immediately spoke through her comms now that the fighting had died down, asking whether the med equipment on the jet was fully stocked up. When she heard an affirmative, she harshly yanked you up and dragged you towards the jet, ignoring your protests.

Once at the jet, she pushed you onto one of the medical beds and began silently patching you up. Occasionally, she subtly shook her head and clenched her jaw, clearly showing how much she disapproved of your actions.

Your body was just as tense. You didn’t understand why she was so angry.

All you knew was that her anger was angering you. She humiliated you in front of the team by dragging you to the jet as though you were a child and didn’t even say thank you for saving her life, not even acknowledging it.

When she made a rough ministration when cleaning your wound, not taking the time to be gentle as her anger bubbled at the same time yours did you pulled your arm harshly away, ignoring the stinging sensation. “Hey! That hurt”.

She glared at you before yanking your arm back and finishing off. Yet again she was giving you the silent treatment.

The silence dragged on as she packed away the medical equipment, but you were both stubborn, so it was a mystery as to who was going to speak first. At the very least, you were expecting her to sit down next to you as she did on every flight back home, but she gave you a final look before walking off.

Now that… you were not having that. With a steady grip, you grabbed her wrist and spun her around before letting go, “What is your deal?! You’ve been shitty with me this whole time and I did nothing wrong!”.

She took an intimidating step towards you, “Nothing wrong? You did nothing wrong?”.

“If I hadn’t done that then there would be a bullet lodged in your spine right now, Natasha!”.

She shook her head as her nose scrunched, “You do not stop a bullet for me, do you understand?”. You went to protest but she took another step forward, getting right in your face and speaking louder, “Do you understand?!”.

You spoke just as loud. You weren’t going to roll over. “No! I am fine, we are both alive because of what I did!”.

“It doesn’t matter that you’re fine now! What if you hadn’t been fine, huh? It could have just as easily hit you somewhere else and right now instead of looking at you I’d be looking at a body bag!”, she snarled out. It was honestly terrifying.

“But I am fine though, Nat!”, you clasped her hands between yours, desperately trying to get through to her, “I’m fine!”.

“That isn’t the point! I was so close to losing you today! Do you know how that feels?!”.

“Yes!”, you shouted, and she startled briefly before her face softened, “Yes. Because when I saw that gun being aimed at you I was so close to losing you too! I did what you would have done for me, and don’t lie, I know if the roles were reversed you would do it for me too. I know that today was scary, but please… please don’t take it out on me. Please don’t get angry at me for loving you”.

Tears pooled in her eyes as she looked at you softly. That was the first time you had said you loved her. You would have said it much sooner, but Nat was skittish with relationships, you didn’t want to overwhelm her. But when you said this, her head completely cleared, anger replaced by contentment. You were here in front of her, you were okay. “Okay, I’m sorry… I’m sorry”, she spoke in barely a whisper, slowly engulfing you in a hug, acting as though you were made of glass.

You rested the side of your face on her shoulder, facing her neck as you wrapped yourselves around each other. Fitting together perfectly.

“I love you too”.

---

Natasha trusted you wholeheartedly now. Your relationship had lasted over a year, and time and time again you had proved that you would do anything for her. It was the first time she had ever felt pure love and devotion, the first time she allowed herself to believe that she could be loved. So, she opened up.

Her walls came down. She was still relatively guarded. Yes, she opened up, but that didn’t stop her from feeling embarrassed in the process.

She was victim to the occasional panic attack. She would always call you, or at the very least text you when she was having one, knowing that without you she would spiral. It didn’t make it any easier to open up about what was causing the panic attack though, usually, you would have to simply hold her for a while before she opened up.

Nat got embarrassed easily whenever she felt a moment of weakness. Like always, she didn’t want to feel like a burden. Especially if she knew that you were busy during her moment of high anxiety.

That night, you were out with friends. They were old school friends that you hadn’t seen since your early twenties. You had been consistently talking about the reunion for a week now, excited to see the people that you spent your youth with. Natasha was excited for you, she loved seeing your eyes crinkle when you talked about something that excited you.

But now all she felt was dread. She could feel panic taking over. Her breathing was shallow, her hands were clammy, her head felt like it was being squeezed, and she just couldn’t regain control. A pretty bad one was coming, and she knew it.

You made her promise to call you whenever she felt like a panic attack was coming. But you were out with friends, and you had been so excited. So, she didn’t call.

She waited and waited until she was at the point of no return. She could feel herself spiralling completely as she slid down the wall in the bedroom, clutching her phone to her chest, holding it as though you were inside of it.

Then something inside her snapped.

Tears streaked down her face as she put her forehead on her knees. She had never felt so trapped before. Never felt so weak before.

She needed you. But you weren’t there.

You were blissfully unaware of the situation back home, talking with old friends, having a drink or so, but not too many because you had to drive back home.

Nat sat there for half an hour.

Half an hour of feeling like her chest was caving in before she got the courage to call you. When she did, you picked up after two rings, immediately concerned. Knowing that Natasha wouldn’t call you that night for no reason, as soon as you felt your phone vibrate and her photo appear on the phone, without even thinking you excused yourself from the table and answered.

Hearing her laboured breathing and her small pleas for help, you spoke in soothing tones on the phone, assuring her that you were on your way home and for her to stay on the line as you drove back. She whimpered out an agreement as you told your friends that you had to leave due to a family emergency, and booked it back to the compound.

You sprinted through the halls as panic hit you hard, you had never heard Natasha seem so scared before.

It scared you.

The sight you walked in on scared you even more. Natasha was curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth, sobbing. You’d never seen her like this before. “Nat?”, you walked in slowly and closed the door softly not to startle her. You knew she heard you as she stopped rocking, it didn’t stop her from crying though. “Hey, sweetheart…”, you cooed and crouched near her, not touching her just yet.

“Hi”, she croaked out as she lifted her head slightly, her scared eyes looking into your concerned ones.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be just fine, just breathe in and out with me okay?”. You performed some breathing exercises with her, moving to sit down next to her as you normally did, though this time it took a little longer thanks to just how worked up she was. Within twenty minutes her breathing was stable again, and her eyes widened.

“No, no, no you were out with friends. I wasn’t supposed to call you”, she shook her head in a panic. She wanted this night to be perfect for you, but instead, she felt like she ruined it.

“It’s okay, I was with them for about two hours, I caught up with them enough. My social battery was gone”, you chuckled, telling a small white lie. Yes, you had caught up with everyone and had enough conversation, but your social battery was fine that night, but Natasha didn’t have to know that.

“Are- are you sure?”, Natasha asked in the most vulnerable, small voice you had ever heard. It reminded you of a child seeking comfort. Natasha just wanted comfort.

You nodded firmly in assurance, “I’m sure, hun”, tentatively, you wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she soon leaned into you.

“I’m really sorry you had to leave your friends just because I was being stupid”.

Your heart sank. Every time Nat spoke badly about herself, it felt as though a piece of your own heart was being ripped out alongside hers. “You weren’t being stupid. You were being human, and that’s okay. Do you wanna know why it’s okay to have flaws, to have cracks?”, you gave her a small grin and bumped into her side slightly, still holding her. She shook her head no, a small frown distorting her features.

An impish grin formed on your lips, “Because… that’s how the light gets in”.

Natasha scoffed, “You’re such a dork”. She paused for a moment and let it sink in.

“My dork”.

---

Natasha was being unnecessarily reckless during this mission. You all knew that it was a high-risk one, that there was going to be plenty of people to fight off, and yet she was acting like she was invincible. Which led to her getting hurt.

A bullet got lodged in her shoulder. It looked nasty. She grunted out in pain and held her hand over it to stop the bleeding, trying to make it out to be fine. You knew it wasn’t fine, you knew that the bleeding was fast and that if you weren’t fast then she would bleed out. “Are you kidding me, Nat?!”, you let your frustration get the better of you.

You were scared.

Ignoring the bullets that were flying here, there, and everywhere, you picked her up bridal style and began to sprint through the hallways, hoping to find a way out of the facility. “Hey”, she spoke weakly, seeing you having to change directions every twenty seconds to avoid more enemies, unable to fight them off thanks to your hands being occupied. “You have to leave me behind”.

An incredulous look was clearly plastered over your features, “Over my dead body”.

She groaned in pain at a particularly sharp turning, “Your body will be dead if you don’t leave me”.

“Just stop!”, you spoke harsher than you intended to. But you needed her to get the message. There was no way in hell that you were going to leave her to perish. You couldn’t lose her, and you didn’t have time to argue with her about it.

Weaving in and out of people trying to hurt the two of you, miraculously managing to get through a crowd of people and hide behind some barrels toward the exit, you held Natasha close to your chest. The door to escape was across the room, where all the people who had been chasing you were now waiting with their guns raised, taunting you to come out.

“Just leave me here, I’m dead weight. It’s either you get out, or none of us gets out, please, it’s for the greater good, that’s what the Avengers is all about, right?”, Natasha quietly pleaded as she clung onto you, the blood loss now severe.

A strangled whimper clawed its way out of your throat as you held her tighter. As the goons ahead kept taunting you to come out, and you saw Nat getting weaker and weaker, it felt as though your chest was being punched repeatedly. Never in your life had you been so terrified. “No, fuck the greater good. You are more important to me. I don’t care if it was the world ending I would not let you die for the ‘greater good’. We are both getting out of here. I promise”, you gritted out, and she gave you a look of mixed emotions.

She was uncertain, she desperately wanted you to get out, but seeing how devoted you were to her made her heart swell as well. She was at a crossroads. But then you made a move, and she didn’t have time to think anymore as searing pain burned through her shoulder.

It was a risky move, but with the number of people in front of you, risk was all you had. Nat’s eyes widened as she simultaneously frowned. In any other situation, it would have been a comical look. The reason for her frowning? Well, you were yanking a grenade out.

“What are you-?!”, she tried to say but then you unpinned it and tossed it in the barrels against the wall you were taking cover with, and sprinted away as fast as your legs could move. Still, you couldn’t get far enough and the heat hit you as you flew forward with force. But, in the air you twisted to land on your back, protecting Nat from being injured further.

She still didn’t know your plan as you scrambled up off the floor and back towards the barrels, and therefore the people. Her eyes were clenched shut, she couldn’t watch as you killed both yourself and her.

“Come on!”, you spoke desperately when you reached the barrels, the smoke and dust fog protecting you for a few seconds. That is all you had left, a few seconds.

The wall was damaged, but not enough to fit two people through it. Huffing in despair you began to frantically kick at the damaged bricks, panicking as the smoke began to clear, hearing the shouts of the gunmen getting closer again.

With a few final efforts, you managed to kick a big enough hole in the wall. Natasha was chucked through the hole unceremoniously before you crawled through after her, hoisting her up over your shoulder and sprinting out, lungs and legs burning.

You got her out of trouble that day, and of course, when she was on the medical gurney being patched up, you went off on one, scolding her whilst pacing back and forth. The others were staying clear of the area, terrified of your anger, but not Natasha. She was staring at you with soft eyes, your desperation to get her out of there that day only consolidating how much she knew you were her person.

You saved her, over and over again… and now it was her turn to save you.

The purple sky illuminated the scene in front of her as she lay on the floor clutching her stomach. You’d hit her to save her. She stared horrified at the sight ahead, you sprinting towards the edge of the cliff.

No.

She thought to herself as terror took over and she screamed your name, jumping up and sprinting just as fast towards you. She couldn’t lose you.

It all happened in a flash, you both jumped, but she attached you to the cliff face, abruptly halting your descent, and giving you whiplash. Eyes wide, you stared down at Natasha who was only still alive because of the death grip you had on her wrist. “No, no don’t do this to me… you cannot do this to me!”, you shouted down at her, tears freefalling, dripping from the end of your nose and your chin.

“It’s okay”, she spoke softly, holding her own emotions back, trying to find peace in her decision.

She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to leave you. But she wanted you to live, and she wanted her sister to live. She wanted you to live in a world where it was safe again.

“No it’s not okay, just take my arm, okay? We can try something else, just- just hang on, please”, your voice cracked as it got louder, frustrated and begging for Natasha to stay with you. There was no way that you could survive without her.

Her fingers wiggled slightly, her instinct telling her to try and hold on, to not leave you.

To stay by your side.

But her brain took over again as she listened to your desperate pleas and she let her arm go limp again, “Please don’t get angry at me for loving you”, she smiled lightly before kicking off of the cliff face, forcing herself out of your grip.

The last thing she heard was your gutwrenching scream for her to come back.

But she wasn’t coming back. You saved her, in more ways than you could ever comprehend. This was her chance to repay everything, and she took it… with her heart full of you.

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago

Text

Ѕтдсч’ѕ Мом

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ɴᴀᴛᴀsʜᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴏғғ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Summary: fucking stacy’s mom dude; what else is there to say?

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: milf!nat good god, age gap [not established but over 21 cuz drinks lol and pretty big but consensual ofc], major mommy kink lol, unnecessarily using the phrase ‘stacy’s mom’ too much, i might end doing another part even though it’s a long one

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: stacy’s mom has got it going on ;)

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“Did you hear me?” Stacy asked you.

“Huh?” you snapped your head back to her completely unsure of what she said.

You two were hanging around the pool soaking in the sun. It was summer and your college classes didn’t start for another six weeks. You’ve been spending your summer with Stacy and her mom at her beach/fucking big ass mansion in California.

Stacy’s mom worked as an architect or something back home in New York with Stark Industries so to say they were rich would be a huge understatement. She was practically a billionaire like the owner himself. Also the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You’ve had a crush on her since the day you met her back home in New York.

“I asked if you wanted to order pizza? We can get something else but I’m not cooking without my mom,” she giggled.

The day that Stacy’s mom went back to New York for a business trip you guys attempted to make pancakes. Fucking pancakes. And almost burned down the house. Everyday since, you guys have been buying and ordering delivery on everything; she had the money so.

“Oh sure that’s cool. Maybe we can go pick up some beer too?” you suggested.

“I like the way you think, Y/l/n,” Stacy said, pulling out her phone.

You laid back down letting the sun warm your skin before you turned your head back to Stacy.

“When is your mom coming back?”

“Um, I’m not sure but probably sometime this weekend, she shouldn’t have been gone that long. Why? You miss her? Like her more than me?” Stacy jokes, making you flush and get defensive.

“What? No, I was just asking,” you told her.

“Hey, relax I’m just messing with ya,” she laughed.

You breathed out heavily and tried to distract your thoughts but you weren’t doing a good job as you instantly started thinking about Stacy’s mom. Goddammit. You two went inside and heard a knock on the big glass front door and Stacy ran to get the door. The pizza is probably here.

You went ahead to the guest room you occupied and instantly took a cold shower. You were sweaty and overheated from sunbathing not from the insensitive thoughts about Stacy’s mom bending you over the side of the pool as she pumped her fingers in and out of you whispering the filthiest things in your ear, definitely not from that.

You came out and the smell of greasy pizza overcame you. You walked into the kitchen finding the pizza sitting on the counter and you walked over to grab your slice. You stuff the slice in your mouth before turning to grab a beer from the fridge. You grabbed the beer and shut the fridge door only to be completely taken by surprise.

“Got enough for one more gal?” your eyes widen and your breath hitched making you almost choke on the pizza still stuffed in your mouth. You pulled the pizza out and chewed rapidly as her gorgeous smile widened at your flustered state.

“Miss Romanoff, you’re back,” you said, your mouth still full.

“Yup, just got back,” she nodded towards the baggage piled by the living room couch.

“Cool,” you swallowed audibly.

“Mom! You’re back,” Stacy came in; thankfully.

“Hi hon. You two holding up with delivery and junk?” she joked nodding towards the pizza on the counter and in your hand along with the beer.

“Hey, we tried to cook something but we almost burnt the house down so we just gave up,” Stacy explained, grabbing a greasy slice of pizza.

“Ugh, you girls need to learn how to cook. This stuff isn’t good for you to have all day everyday.”

“Well, if you hadn’t left us,” Stacy said sarcastically with a mocking grin.

“Trust me, I didn’t want to,” she said, looking at you.

A few hours had passed and you sat in the living room watching movies with Stacy and her mom. The movie was quite scary since those were Stacy’s favorite and during a particular quiet and suspenseful scene your stomach growled embarrassingly loud causing both of the women to snap their heads to you.

“I- I’m so sorry, I’m really hungry,” you mumbled shyly.

“Lemme order something,” Stacy said, grabbing her phone.

“No, no, no. you girls are done with the takeout. Come on; go wash your hands. We’re gonna cook something together.”

You and Stacy stood at the counter covered in flour tiredly kneading dough with your hands. Stacy’s mom grew up in Russia and she wanted to teach you guys how to make her favorite dish that her mom always made for her for lazy summer nights just like this one.

“Ugh, my hands hurt,” Stacy complained.

“That means you're doing it right,” her mom snickered.

She came up behind you closer than you’d like peering over your shoulder like a vulture. She rested her hand on either side of you cagin you in, pressing against the counter suggestively. You breathing quicken and you could feel her breath fanning over your shoulder and chills erupted all over your skin.

“You doing alright?” she asked you, of which you silently nodded afraid that your voice would betray you embarrassingly in front of her and her daughter.

“Good girl,” she whispered, squeezing your hip making you jolt.

“You good?” Stacy chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said sneaking a glance at Stacy’s mom who carried mischief in her eyes.

You continued to slowly but surely make your dinner for the night until suddenly the doorbell rang and echoed across the gigantic house.

“Expecting company, you two?” Stacy’s mom asked.

“Not that we know of?” Stacy said wiping her hand on her apron before scurrying to the front door.

“You’re doing so good, Y/n,” Stacy’s mom teased.

“Th- Thank you,” you mumbled timidly.

“Of course. Anytime, hon,” she whispered getting closer to you.

“Miss Romanoff,” you whispered, turning your head.

“Yeah?” she smiled softly, her lips impossibly close to yours.

“I- uh, you’re-”

“What are you guys doing?” Stacy asked.

“Y/n’s got something in her eye; poor thing,” she said and you instantly started blinking quickly and rubbing your eye, feigning that uncomfortable feeling.

“Oh no, do you need eye drops?” Stacy asked sincerely, guess she bought it.

“No, I think I’m ok,” you told her quickly.

That’s when you actually registered your surroundings again after being suffocated by Stacy’s mom’s perfume and lusting atmosphere. God, you want this woman to fuck you so badly.

“What’re you doing here?” Stacy’s mom asked in her usual playful manner.

“Well, I wanted to surprise Stacy by taking her to a weekend getaway in Malibu; had I known you had guests. I don’t mean to exclude you,” Jason, Satcy’s boyfriend arrived without notice.

“Oh, it’s ok. I’ve been here all summer. You should go; spend some summertime with your boyfriend for a bit,” you smiled at Stacy.

“Really? I don’t want to leave you all alone,” Stacy said.

“She won't be alone; she’ll be with me,” Stacy’s mom said smirking at you; she pressed her hand to your lower back making you stiffen.

“Think you can handle my mom for the entire weekend alone?” Stacy said laughing but you weren’t.

“Can you?” her mom teased.

“I’ll try,” you said shakily. You were not ready.

“Ok, ok. Let me go pack,” Stacy said, turning to Jason excitedly.

Jason followed in pursuit hot on her heels leaving you alone for a moment with her mom. She caged you in her arms as she did before, pressing her hips flushed against your bottom. You gasped softly feeling her cold hands riding up your back under your shirt.

“Miss Romanoff,” you choked.

“Nat; we’re close, aren’t we?” she whispered in your ear.

“What are you doing?” you felt her nails lightly scratching your back making you shudder.

“We’re gonna have the whole weekend to ourselves, hon,” she smirked devilishly.

“Fuck,” you breathed out when her hands brushed to your front, her thumbs grazing the bottom of your breasts.

“Ok, all ready; I think,” you heard Stacy and her boyfriend coming down the stairs. Nat, pushed her herself off you and walked over to her daughter and her boyfriend, swaying her hips just a little bit more than usual knowing you’d kept your eyes subtly trained on them.

“Have fun you two. We’ll see you guys Monday?”

“Monday night,” Jason said.

“Bye mom. Bye, Y/n.”

You waved them off with a small smile, your stomach doing flips anticipated what the hell this woman had in store for you. If she was even going to lay a hand on you, you had no fucking idea. You just stay still, absolutely unmoving, behind the counter.

“Alright, hon. Let’s finish this dinner,” Nat said, turning to you.

Throughout finishing cooking, Nat kept her hands to herself but that didn’t mean she stopped teasing you. Every time you did something correctly, she whispered praises to you that made you wet, arousal pooling between your thighs uncontrollably.

You sat at the counter next to her quietly eating what you made with her help. She watched you carefully to see if you’d like the food and you weren’t going to lie, the food was amazing.

“You did it all by yourself, малышка. Such a good girl you are,” she whispered making you tremble. She picked up your empty plate and carried it to the sink. You sat still in your seat before Nat came up behind, moving your hair from your shoulder and neck. She leaned down and pressed her lips lightly against your burning skin.

“Miss Romanoff,” you said suddenly standing abruptly.

“Yes, hon,” she said.

“W- we, we can’t-” you heavily stuttered.

“Ok,” she responded.

“Wh- what?”

“Ok; I’m sorry,” she stepped away from you. You don’t know why you were so surprised, you literally told her to stop.

“Ok,” you whispered.

“Good night, hon,” she said walking away.

When she was out of sight you huffed deeply feeling like you could finally breathe normally again. You trotted hastily upstairs seeing as Nat was seemingly in her room. You walked up to her door cautiously, light peering from under the door; reaching for the handle but ultimately shied away thinking about the fact that she was your best friend’s mother.

“Fuck, this is wrong,” you said to yourself frustratingly.

You went to your own room closing the door as quietly as possible. You tried to occupy your mind as best as you could running a shower, brushing your teeth, even re-folding your clothes that were already tucked neatly in your drawers. You couldn't shake the feeling of the way her lips felt against your skin.

You were so desperate to be in that position again and Stacy’s out of the house; the opportunity was perfect but of course you cowarded away running off to your room lying to yourself that you didn’t desperately want to spend the night in her bed.

You looked at the time and saw that it was around ten at night deciding it was late enough to hit the sheets; not the ones you want but whatever at point honestly. That proved to be a huge struggle as you tossed and turned for hours. Everytime you close your eyes you're met with those beautiful emerald green eyes that you find yourself getting lost in everytime you see them.

“Ugh, shit,” you groaned, unable to sleep.

You stood up abruptly throwing your sheets to the floor paying no mind to the mess you made. You swung the door open and stomped to her room. You were furious that this woman, who clearly didn’t do anything, was keeping from sleeping peacefully as you had been in the previous nights.

You stood silently in front of her door breathing heavily. What were you thinking? What were you gonna do; yell at this poor woman who didn't do anything? But she did. She kissed you.

“Are you gonna stand out there like a creep or are you gonna let yourself in?” her muffled voice came from beyond the door and your eyes widened.

You hastily turned the knob to her door finding her resting beautifully in the golden dimmed light on her large white bed; the sheets so fluffy she looked like an angel resting on a cloud. She had a book in hand, it was Russian so you couldn’t understand the words. But nevermind that, you stood in front of the closed door with an angry expression on your face.

“Now what’s got your panties in a twist, hon?” she asked, a smirk playing on her naturally red lips.

“You,” you retorted.

“And what do you want me to do about those panties?” she closed her book, setting it on her night stand. God, why did she say it like that?

“I can’t sleep.”

“Why’s that?” she knows why; she’s got you wrapped around her dainty little finger.

“You kissed me,” you said quickly.

“Uh, correction. I kissed your neck,” she swung her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up.

“You- you, you put your hands on me. And- and, and you stopped.”

“Because you said to,” she walked up to you, making your stomach flip.

“I didn’t really mean it,” you whispered shyly.

“Really?” she whispered back.

“Do you want me to put my hands on you again?” she asked seductively.

You hesitated refusing to look her in those perfect green eyes because you know you fall when you do.

“Look at me and use those big girl words,” she whispered, her breath fanning across your face.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Please what?” she teased.

You looked up at her letting out a shaky breath. You were about to pass the point of no return and looking into those hypnotizing sage eyes you wanted nothing more than to let her have her way with you.

“Please kiss me,” you whimpered.

Nat grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you flushed against her body kissing you feverishly. Your eyes fluttered closed, moving your lips with hers. Her hands ran up under your shirt ghosting your skin making your skin burst into chills. You practically trembled under her cold hands.

“Красотка,” she whispered against your lips.

“Huh?’ you mumbled dazed and confused by the sudden change of dialect; that was very hot keep in mind.

“абсолютно очаровательны,” she chuckled.

“Wha-?” you stuttered. What the fuck just happened?

She lifted her hands up your body as did you, lifting you shirt off your body. She practically growled at the sight of your breasts. She leaned down, licking along the valley of your breasts peering up at you with those big eyes you loved so much.

She kneeled to the ground pulling your pajama bottoms down your legs torturously slowly. You wiggled your knees back and forth whining at her teasing but she simply nipped and kissed your legs chuckling at your eagerness. She rubbed your legs softly standing up and rested her hands on your hips.

“You are so beautiful,” she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Thank you,” you said timidly.

“Come here, Красотка,” you followed her to the bed and you excitedly crawled to the center. Nat stayed standing smirking at your hypnotized expression as she peeled her shirt off her body and dragged her shorts and panties down her legs. She crawled to you with a playful smile on her lips and sat directly in front of you.

You grinned climbing onto her lap kissing her softly. Her hands ran lightly up your back as her lips moved smoothly against yours. You could feel her perky nipples brushing yours pulling soft moans from you. Her hand made its way into your hair tugging the strands to pull your head back. Her lips instantly falling to the skin of your neck sucking marking you as hers. Your breathing became static and heavy and Nat chuckled at your inexperience.

“Tell me, Y/n, have you ever been with a woman before?” she whispered in your ear, her breath making you shiver.

You shook your head.

“Words, Красотка,” she gripped your chin harshly.

“No; never,” you whispered.

“Oh, I’m gonna have fun with you, little one,” she chuckled darkly.

“Oh god,” you moaned.

“You want mommy to show you a good time?” she snickered.

“Please.”

“Lay back, baby. Mommy’s gonna be right back,” she said kissing you softly. Your stomach fluttered as you patiently waited laying on her incredibly soft bed. You turned your head to watch her leave ever so elegantly; her bottom swaying teasingly as she disappeared into her closet. She walked out with a huge strap and some silk ties and your legs started to shake from excitement? Fear? Both? Yeah, both.

“Safe word?”

“Milf,” you said cheekily, making her laugh out loud.

“Funny.” she mocked, shaking her head.

“Arms up. You let me know if it gets too much ok?” she said cupping your face sweetly.

“Ok; mommy,” you grinned before she kissed you quickly.

She moved up your body straddling your waist to tie the silk ropes around your wrists and the bedframe. You could feel the warmth from her core grinded against you and you felt yourself grow hot under her and bit your lip shyly. She peered down at your flustered state and smirked, proudly seeing you already squirming haven’t even laid a finger on you. She tugged harshly on the knots making sure you had nowhere to go and your stomach flipped when you tested it and you were unable to move your arms from their newfound position.

“Are you gonna tie my legs too?” you asked.

“We’ll take it easy the first night?” First night?

She stood at the foot of the bed staring lustfully into your eyes as she put on the strap, settling comfortably around her hips. She spit in her hand before wrapping it around the standing faux cock pumping and coating it with her saliva. You couldn't help the way you instinctively squeezed the thighs shut in an attempt to relieve yourself.

“Open those pretty legs sweetie. Let mommy take a look at your gorgeous pussy,” her words made you moan softly as you complied.

“So beautiful,” she whispered, almost to herself but you could hear her delicate words.

Her hands came up your thighs and placed them over her own. She brought her fingers down to your core and circled her finger around your entrance. You’ve been aroused since the moment she first pressed her lips against your skin downstairs; to say you were wet was an understatement, you were practically dripping already. She grinned devilishly before pushing her fingers past your folds slowly.

“We're gonna have to stretch you out if this fat cock is gonna fit inside you,” she told you.

You moaned feeling how cold her fingers were, but you loved it. Her thumb came up and pressed firmly against your clit before circling languidly. Your brows furrowed at the pleasure she was stimulating and you bit your lip trying your hardest to not moan like a pornstar.

“I wanna hear you, Красотка,” she pulled your bottom lip from between your teeth.

“Ugh, mommy. That feels so good,” you breathed out.

“Just wait til mommy gets to stuff her cock in this tight little pussy,” she practically growled. Her fingers moved faster in and out of you and you felt that familiar coil in the pit of your stomach, a feeling you often got when you thought about her with your hand between your thighs, starting to build.

“Ah shit, I’m gonna come, mommy!” you whined, tugging on the ropes.

“You wanna come? Come for mommy, Красотка,” she whispered.

Your stomach tightened and your legs squeezed tightly around her waist as you gushed all over her fingers. When you slowly came down from your first orgasm, she brought her fingers to her mouth sucking them clean. Her enchanting green eye locked with yours as she did so; god that was so hot.

“So fucking sweet,” she moaned. She grabbed her faux cock and rubbed the tip along your entrance and you jolted at the feeling.

“You gotta breathe baby, breathe,” she pushed her hips forward and your body tensed up at the stretching her cock was doing to you. Her hands grabbed your waist as she slowly began thrusting her hips in and out. You back arched off the bed; becoming a moaning mess under the stunning redhead.

Nat held a blissful expression watching you write beneath her. It had been so long since she’s ravished another in her bed. And she’s kept an eye on you for a while. You were this sweet little thing that walked through the elevator doors back home in New York and Nat knew she wanted you.

She’s always known and saw the way you let your eyes linger. The way you stuttered when she asked you a question. The way you’d instantly freeze when she grazed her fingers over your waist, or pressed her hand on your lower back to get past you for whatever. Most of the time it was just an excuse to get close to you.

You made her feel young again. Reminded here what it was like to be desired by another woman. She knew you would never muster up the courage to actually make some sort of move, especially since you are always with Stacy. Tonight was a perfect opportunity and it terrified her for that moment that she had fucked up and scared you off. She really cared about you and for you; and hurting you was damn near about to kill the woman.

“You're taking mommy’s cock so well, Красотка,” she cupped your face.

You started grunting and whining practically yanking at the restraints. Grinding your hips in rhythm with her thrust desperately chasing your second release. God, the woman made you come once and now you’re completely and utterly addicted to her.

“Now, don’t get greedy, little one. Mommy’s giving all she can; do you need to be punished? I can walk away-”

“No! Please, mommy! Don’t leave me, please,’ tears brimmed your ears; you didn’t even want to think about not being her arms right now.

“Ok, then be a good girl and stop whining like a little brat. Is that what you are? Just a greedy whore desperate for mommy’s cock?” her words made you moan and squirm even more.

“No, I’m sorry mommy,” you choked out.

“Oh, Красотка,” she sighed.

She quickly pulled out, making you almost scream. You quickly let out a string of apologies but she simply grabbed your hips and flipped you over to your stomach. She brought her hand up and striked down smacking your cheek so loud it frightened you. However the sting felt so delicious and you shudder secretly wanting more. Her hand ran up your back grabbing your hair harshly to pull your head back; her body molding perfectly against you as she spoke in your ear.

“Красотка, mommy wanted to go easy on you tonight but if you want to act like a whore, you’ll get fucked like one.”

“Fuck!” you cried when she rutted her hips back into you from behind.

Her hand grabbed the globes of your ass, kneading the hot flesh from her spanks. Your upper body was being propped by your elbows until Nat hit a particular spot inside you that made you collapse. Nat smiled proudly to herself, continuing to drive her hips into you.

“Красотка, I can tell you want to come,” she said.

“Yes! Please, mommy let me come! Your cock feels so good,” you moaned muffled by the sheets your face was buried in.

“Go ahead, Красотка. Let go all over Mommy’s cock,” she granted.

“Fuck!” you back arched and your head was thrown back; your toes curled.

You practically trembled feeling Nat’s faux cock hit deeper inside you than any other partner, which wasn’t many to begin with, had ever reached before. Your eyes rolled so far back you felt like you were about to pass out. You’ve never been in such a euphoria high quite like this before and it was overwhelming. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you cried Nat’s name until everything went black for a moment.

You pried your tired eyes open realizing you were tucked closely by Nat’s side.

“There she is,” Nat cooed.

“I didn’t hurt, did I?” she asked softly.

“No, I feel great,” you giggled.

“You did so well, Красотка,” she kissed your forehead, cuddling you closer.

“What does that mean? The name you called me,” you asked.

“It means ‘beautiful girl’,” she whispered looking into your eyes.

Fucking hell, you were falling in love with this woman more and more with every passing second. You casted your eyes away shyly but she cupped your face and made you look at her again.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” she teased.

“I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Stacy’s mom,” you told her.

She smiled softly before kissing you passionately, literally taking your breath away. No other words were exchanged. You simply closed your eyes and basked in what could be the only night you get to spend with someone as perfect as Natasha.

==================

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ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (Natasha’s Fics)

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#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader #milf!nat #marvel smut #marvel fics #wlw fics

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stxrvel · 4 years ago

Text

bittersweet feelings (1)

summary: you have to deal with the harsh truth after Bucky arrives from one of his missions.

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

warnings: nothing i think, just you know English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes!

words: +2.5k

note: hi! I've been feeling physically unwell since I last posted and have been in bed, but today I was finally able to get a moment of calm and lucidity, so, enjoy and hope you like it!

also, i've been working on a series that I want to publish soon, but I don't know why I always find it difficult to do all that planning. anyway, I really hope I can bring it to you soon! thank u for all the support!

part 2

part 3

Admiring Bucky Barnes from afar has become too much of a challenge in recent days. Before, you were wrapped up in papers, essays, final exams and projects due, locking yourself in your room at a time or living in your university library, simply too busy to wander your eyes over the sprawling figure of Bucky strolling around the Complex. Ironically, he always spent more time there when you weren't there.

But now, completely free of academic responsibilities and banned from going on missions at Fury's whim, you had a lot more time to wander the halls of the Complex, especially in the gym where the man with the metal arm used to spend most of his time. Many times (if not all the time) you felt like a lousy attempt of a stalker, and you was almost 100% sure that he realised what you were doing but preferred not to say anything so as not to embarrass you. And that was much more embarrassing.

But did that stop you? Absolutely not.

He'd cut his hair a few days ago, and although you loved the way his hair looked on his shoulders and the way it blew in the wind every time he walked, as if he were a model on a bloody photo shoot, you shamelessly admitted that you had quickly grown to love his new style. Because, honestly, did something look bad on Bucky?

Your hands moved indiscreetly across the table, crumpling the paper between your fingers that you had previously been reading, as you watched the aforementioned man's shoulders shake after hearing Sam Wilson say something about Scott's card game. You moved your eyes scanning his entire face, trying to memorise the expression on his face as he smiled so openly, as he almost never did in public.

“Am I interrupting your crazy stalker moment?”

Tony's voice startled you, and you turned your head so sharply to look at something other than Bucky that a slight twinge of pain made its way from the back of your neck to your right shoulder. You grimaced and watched the millionaire sit down next to you on one of the black chairs that were spread out in the first floor cafeteria. Ahead of you, a large glass door separated you from one of the side exits of the Complex, where Bucky and Sam had stopped to talk and, surely at first, discuss the mission Bucky had just returned from.

“I'm not a crazy stalker,” you told him dismissively, but your nerves were eating you up inside. Even though you knew you weren't entirely discreet, you still weren't ready for someone to tell you that you were too obvious for him not to know anymore.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Tony commented sarcastically and you felt a quick pang of fear inside your chest, “I was just coming to tell you that Fury made the decision to send you to Milan with Steve the other week.”

Your gaze finally shifted away from Bucky's figure, closer and closer to where you stood, to Tony and you frowned at him in extreme confusion.

“What? So soon?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? To go back to the camp?”

“Well, yes, but I thought his tantrum was going to last much longer.”

Tony let out a laugh and proceeded to open the packet of peanuts in his pocket, “If he hears you say that, consider yourself fired, kiddo.”

“Then it's a relief that no one heard me say it,” you smiled innocently at Tony, who only gave you a tight-mouthed smile in return.

“It's just a recon mission. Steve thinks there's an empty HYDRA base you can investigate, and you're pretty nimble with that non-digitized document review stuff.”

“You mean I'm good at reading physical documents?”

“You know what I mean, eagle eyes. There's nothing you're missing.”

“Ow,” you croon with a smile, “Thanks for the compliment, Stark.”

“You're welcome. Now, don't go freaking out. Barnes is walking this way.”

He then stood up and planted himself in front of you, as your heart did a wild flip and you felt him pause for a second, before resuming his march at an unnatural pace. You didn't even know if it was possible for a heart to beat that fast. You felt sweat beading on your hands and started to breathe through your mouth as you felt the nervousness take over your whole body.

“What?” you exclaimed, staring at him, sitting uncomfortably in the chair across the table they had shared.

“I told you not to freak out, you're only going to make it worse.”

You narrowed your eyes at him with a frown. Next, you took about three deep breaths to try and calm your frantic heartbeat, before Sam's figure - and consequently Bucky's - appeared in your field of view to the side of Stark's body. The man gave you a look with an arched eyebrow, as if to ask you to behave yourself, which was an exaggeration.

That was an exaggeration. You spent a lot of time with Bucky! Even when you two were alone you didn't feel as nervous as you did at moments like this.

When your gazes met, you could barely return the smile he gave you before you turned your eyes to Sam, who had just spoken but you hadn't gotten to hear everything he'd said because your head was in the clouds.

“...and that you're going back to the camp with Steve. How long since you've been out? Almost four months? You must be anxious.”

You just nodded, looking at him through tight lips.

Tony rubbed his eyes in an exasperated gesture.

“I could ask Fury to let me tag along,” Bucky's voice reached your ears like a forbidden delicacy. It had been several days since you'd last heard it and it was like a gift from the gods, “Lest he bore you with his awkward silences.”

“We don't have awkward silences,” you grumbled quickly, not knowing exactly why you were getting defensive. Tony raised his eyebrows at you and you shrugged in place, “I mean, we talk about a lot of things.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky's jocular tone didn't do much for your nerves and sanity, “Name a topic you've been talking about for more than three minutes.”

You pursed your lips and stared at his perfect face, uninjured by the mission, as you conjured up memories of your conversations with Steve. Your almost non-existent conversations.

Your cheeks flushed as you realised he was right, but you weren't going to let him win you over this time.

“One time, we talked all night about a movie.”

“If you're going to say you talked about Lord of the Rings, that doesn't count,” Sam spoke with a half smile on his face.

“Why not?” you grumbled quickly, watching the grimace in his face.

“He talks to everyone about those movies. It doesn't even feel like a conversation anymore, it's like a monologue.”

“Careful, Sam,” Tony spoke up after several seconds, “She likes those movies too.”

“Hey! They're good movies.”

“Good for a nap,” Sam let out a laugh.

You watched Bucky pursed his lips and looked down at the floor, holding back a chuckle.

“They're entertaining,” you muttered with a frown.

Sam pointed at you, his eyebrows arched and his corners raised in a playful grin.

“Well, that's it,” Bucky interrupted whatever Sam was going to say, “You know what they say, to each his own.”

“I'm with Barnes on this one,” Tony spoke up, resting one of his hands on Barnes' shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. Bucky watched his hand and then the millionaire's face with an arched eyebrow, but Tony quickly turned his attention away from Bucky to Sam, “Speaking of Steve, he asked me to tell you to look for him in the main room. He said something about a pending conversation.”

Tony put his arm around Sam's shoulders, leaning part of his body to lead him to walk with him out of the cafeteria. They promptly struck up a conversation on their way out of the cafeteria, and you felt your hands shake once you realized you were alone with Bucky after a couple of weeks of not being able to talk properly with him.

You turned your head away from where the two people who had accompanied you a few seconds before were leaving, hearing the creak of a chair being dragged in front of you. You watched Bucky move his body into a sitting position, settling his forearms on the table and his eyes fixed on yours. Settling into the chair, you gave him a tight-lipped, tense smile. Act normal.

“So the boss finally gave in,” the black-haired man said, his lips curling as he interlocked his hands.

You nodded your head slightly, “It was quicker than I thought. I thought he'd never let me back in the field.”

“And can you blame him? You sure scared the soul out of his body,” Bucky arched his eyebrows, and the mere memory of what happened gave you a feeling of irritability.

You grimaced, “Oh, it wasn't a big deal.”

“It wasn't a big deal? Honey, you threw yourself at those people all by yourself.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, like you did every time he called you names when you were alone. He never did it in public, and it was something you didn't try to think about very often.

“So what? This was all unnecessarily dramatic,” you tried to say in the most neutral tone of voice possible as you crossed your legs under the table.

“There were twenty men,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Do you think me incapable, Barnes?” you arched an eyebrow, speaking with courage.

“No, of course not,” he quickly replied, his gaze softening, “But you disobeyed a direct order from Natasha and put your life at risk. You know how Fury is with you, he cares too much about you.”

You rolled your eyes, letting your back fall against the back of the chair, “But I'm not made of porcelain. I'm as good as Nat, she trained me herself!”

“But Fury didn't see her grow up.”

Well, he had a point and rightly so. You had grown up with the boss, who had practically adopted you, which was one of the reasons he used to be overprotective or refuse you to do some things because he thought it was for the best. And that fact had also helped you form fraternal bonds with all the Avengers until you were old enough and capable enough to be a part of them.

Well, you saw everyone as a nice family except Bucky. And that was a big problem.

You watched him through your eyelashes with an almost imperceptible pout.

Bucky gave you a beautiful smile, the kind that could light up an entire city, “Honey, I understand that it bothers you, but the position you put Fury in at the time, or everyone for that matter, made it hard for him not to make the decision he did. Maybe he overstepped, I'm not denying that, but he was scared.”

“There were other ways...” you started to renege again.

“And would you really have listened to him?” he inquired without wiping away his smile. It amazed you how lenient he could be with you, when with the rest of the world he was a hermit and sulky most of the time.

You sighed. Yep, you could be pretty stubborn when you put your mind to it.

“Well, the important thing is that he finally realised his mistake,” you blurted out with an amused grin. Bucky frowned and pointed the index finger of his metal arm at you.

“I think you missed the point of our little debate.”

“No, no... I understand, Bucky, I do. But Fury have to trust my skills a little more. I could against all of them! It was a spectacle.”

“But you're not always going to come out on top, sweetheart. At some point someone can catch you off guard, and that's what Fury's afraid of.”

“Well, it'll have to happen at some point. Unfortunately, I'm not invincible,” you agreed and admitted what he had said, because he was certainly right, with a tight-lipped smile.

You thought Bucky would be amused, or at least agree with you, but he merely bowed his head, frowned and tensed noticeably. You noticed that his expression suddenly hardened, and it frightened you that you had said something that would have angered him.

“What?” you asked fearfully.

He looked up from the table to look at you again, waking up. He gave you a smile, but a stiffer, harder and committed one. Your chest tightened, “It's not.... It's nothing. Just try to be careful next time, more cautious if necessary. You know, strategist.”

“Yeah, I know, I don't risk it if I don't think it's necessary.”

“That's my girl.”

You froze for a few seconds, just watching him, before your face heated up into an all too violent blush. He'd never said anything like that to you before... but you certainly didn't balk at the possibility that he might again.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you smiled shyly at him.

The sound of the cafeteria doors swinging open distracted the man in front of you, but you kept staring at his profile, gawking and surely with heart-shaped eyes. How was it possible that you liked him so much? Even though it had been a while since you last spoke, it seemed that your feelings for him had only grown three times his size.

Then, you heard it:

“Bucky!”

A woman's voice in the distance.

Confused, you turned your gaze in the direction of the voice, which came from the same place Bucky had been watching for several seconds. She was the one who had opened the doors so frantically, then. You frowned at her from a distance, unable to recognise her figure or features; it wasn't usually easy for you to forget the faces of people you knew, and you certainly didn't know this woman.

However, when you turned to ask Bucky, the half-smile on his face gave you the answer without words. Your chest tightened and you clenched your hands so as not to show the abrupt change of mood you had just gone through when he turned his face and fixed his eyes on yours. All without erasing that smile.

That smile he had on his face for her.

“I guess you'll have to go with Steve to schedule everything about the mission.”

You nodded, uncomfortably, not looking away.

“Fine. In the meantime, I'll go on my date,” he crooned, and the burning you felt intensified so much that it felt like you couldn't pass saliva without straining. But you smiled at him, your lips curving awkwardly and your face reluctant to show a feeling you didn't experience.

“Wow, I thought I'd never hear you say something like that.”

“Life is full of surprises, honey,” he said smiling as he stood up, “Do you want me to walk you to the living room?”

“No, don't worry. I'll be there in a minute,” you replied quickly. It was the first time since you had met him that you wanted him to leave you alone for once.

“All right. Good luck with the old man.”

“Thanks. Good luck with your- your- your date.”

You hated the way your voice betrayed you, but Bucky didn't seem to pay too much attention to it as he waved goodbye to you and started walking in the direction of the woman waiting for him outside the cafeteria doors. You felt your chest tighten as you sighed deeply and a couple of tears welled up in your eyes.

Damn it, at what point had all that happened?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #winter solider #james buchanan barnes #seb stan #sebastian stan #marvel #mcu #avengers #the avengers #tony stark #sam wilson

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dameronology · 4 years ago

Text

better now {natasha romanoff}

summary: just domestic bliss with natasha - also, you have a cat (reader is gender neutral!)

warnings: language

i long for domestic days with my wife. also, this is spoiler free bc i am yet to see the movie because i have been WORKING so much

enjoy,

jazz xx

A day was never a bad one when you got to see Natasha Romanoff.

It was just that the hours leading up to you reuniting with your girlfriend was, for lack of a better word, a complete and utter shit storm. Everything that could have gone wrong did and whilst you weren’t one to entirely believe in sod’s law, today certainly felt like a textbook example of it. It had started in the morning with a spilt coffee and traffic that made you late and continued into the afternoon with an unnecessarily moody boss and a meeting that overran by an hour. The university was truly testing you and it felt like you were failing miserably.

By the end of the day, you were more than ready to get home and crash. The only thing that stood between you and your goal was Manhattan’s evil rush hour, a busy subway and a headache that felt like it was about to swallow your entire frontal lobe Jonah-style. If Natasha had been in the office that day, it might not have been so bad; she drove like a maniac and could have got you to work on time and thanks to her spy skills, your coffee never would have spilt. Plus, she could have driven you home after and you wouldn’t have had to of suffered on the sweaty underground train system (that, somehow, seemed to be the entire backbone of New York City). Luckily for Nat, it was her first day off in weeks -- and besides, part of you didn’t even want her seeing you like this. She would absolutely still love you when you were a frazzled mess, but you much preferred her to have a slightly nicer image of you in her head. Perhaps one where you weren’t covered in coffee. And when the vein on your forehead was slightly less...present.

After battling your way through the F-Train - and almost crying when you saw that your building’s elevator was broken - you finally made it home.

The apartment was dark when you walked in, save for the fact the television was still playing. An old episode of Friends lit up the screen, the sound of canned laughter and out-dated 90s referenced filling the air. It was warm, which meant Natasha had been around at some point in the last hour. She was always in and out, though it was unlike her to leave when you were due to be home.

Sighing to yourself, you dumped your bags on the side and reached out a hand to turn on the kettle. You felt something soft against your leg; as usual, your cat had come to greet you. He was an old stray that you’d taken in last year - Nat had been a little hesitant at first, but she treated him as a son now.

“Hey, Stinky Steve,” you leant down to greet him.

(Steve - the Rogers kind, not the cat - had hated the name at first).

He let out a small purr as you stroked behind his ears. Of all things, at least he didn’t smell anymore - it had been a completely different story when you’d first found him in the back alley near your local bar. That, paired with the fact he had a stern, Captain America-esque expression, had earned him his name.

You jumped slightly when you felt a warm pair of arms wrap around your waist. Then, as though she had appeared out of thin air, Natasha rested her head on your shoulder and pulled you to her chest. She pressed a kiss to your jaw before spinning you around to face her.

“How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?” you greeted her, a smile finally appearing on your face for the first time that day.

“Counting this one?” Nat quirked an eyebrow. “Eighty two, I think.”

You rolled your eyes, grin not faltering. “Where were you?”

“I was gonna sneak down to the subway station to meet you,” she explained. “I think a left a little too late, though.”

“Oh, baby,” you murmured. “I’m sorry. I kinda rushed home.”

Nat frowned. “Are you okay?”

She’d always been brilliant at picking up on physical cues. Natasha was intuitive by nature but it had only increased tenfold because of her training in her formative years. It meant that she could read you like a book - impressively so sometimes. It was definitely handy when you didn’t all that much feel like communicating on your bad days.

“Yeah, just a long day,” you replied. “I’m okay now, though.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. Her face held a concerned look, a hand running up and down your back. “What happened?”

“Just...one of those days, you know?” you said. “I was running late, I got coffee down myself, Michael was being insufferable about all of us attending those stupid CPR classes and it made me an hour late to my meeting so it overran.”

Natasha nodded sympathetically, pressing another soft kiss to your cheek.

“C’mon,” she tugged your hand, steering you towards the bedroom. “Go put on some comfy clothes. I’ll order pizza.”

“Thank you,” you softly smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she beamed back. “Your favourite hoodie should be in your drawer.”

“Thank youuuuuu!” you chimed once more and slipped inside the bedroom.

Ever since you’d moved into Natasha’s apartment, everything you owned had begun to smell of her - not just her perfume, but just her. It was funny, really, because you’d never actually officially moved in. Your belongings just slowly started to move from your flat over to hers as your relationship progressed and there came a point where you realised you were merely renting your own place, only to never actually go there. It was the same for a lot of your relationship, actually. It all just happened so naturally. There was never any pressure from either party, or any expectations. You just existed together and from it, came beautiful things.

After freshening up and changing into a hoodie and some sweats, you headed back out into the living room. Nat was sat on the couch, Stink Steve perched beside her. She’d turned the volume up on Friends now, green eyes half-focused on what was going on - they flickered over to you when you came in and she smiled.

“Which episode are you on?” you asked.

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “Monica is cleaning, Joey is eating and Ross is being annoying.”

“That could be any episode ever,” you shot back.

She held her arms open to you as you dropped onto the sofa beside her. It was second nature for her to reach out and hold you - specifically just in private, but sometimes in public. She’d been scared at first to show any displays of affection in front of other people; for fear of being judged, for fear of you becoming a target, for fear of it being blasted on social media. Now, however, Nat found herself caring a lot less. She loved you and she wanted people to know about it. That wasn’t to say that she suddenly started smothering you whenever you were out, but she had set her phone wallpaper to the two of you, and she was more than eager to hold your hand whenever you went out.

“The pizza is on the way,” she said.

You reached for the blanket on the back of the couch, pulling it over the two of you. Nat tucked it under her arms and pulled you closer; her lips were soft against your temple as she kissed it, tangling your hands in hers as she found it beneath the material. A moment later, Stinky Steve’s head popped out from underneath the blanket.

“How are you feeling now?” Nat asked softly.

You wanted to give her the truth: absolutely fucking unstoppable now that I’m with you. Perhaps that would have been a little too grandiose.

“Much better,” you smiled.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff reader insert #natasha romanoff imagines #black widow x you #black widow imagine #black widow fluff #black widow reader insert #avengers x you #avengers reader insert #avengers imagine #avengers imagines #marvel x you #marvel imagines #marvel reader insert #natasha romanoff x gn! reader

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aquanova99 · 3 years ago

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Checkup

“Well, what did he do this time?”

“Great to see you too, Doc.” Steve answered

“Sorry Doc, Steve threw his shield at the guy who blew up the place. We caught the guy but he still managed to get a hit on us.” Sam tried to explain

“Uh huh. And I’m assuming he didn’t tell Tony or anyone else what his plan was so he got the brunt of the explosion?”

“I’m sorry I was trying to make sure everyone was safe.”

“No, you were trying to be the hero again. You could have easily asked Tony to cover you when you threw your shield it would have taken 2 seconds.”

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

Sam exhaled, “Well I’ll leave you to it Cap.” He didn’t wait for an answer as he left the room.

“Alright, where most of the damage? It wont take long to heal but I need to sure theres no debris anywhere.”

Steve just turned to show his right forearm. Y/n noticed his head some dried blood as well. She turned to collect all the supplies she would need.

“Alright. WHats your problem with me?”

“I don’t have a problem, Captain America.” She said as she rummaged for extra bandages.

“Seems like you have a problem with the way I do things.”

“I have a problem with you unnecessarily putting yourself in harms way.” She said as she put alcohol on his arm and began cleaning. Steve winced. “Every single time you’ve come in here your injuries have been avoidable or perhaps not as severe. For someone who talks a lot about team you don’t seem to let your team in on what youre thinking. And as much as I love these lovely conversations we have,” her voice dripped of sarcasm, “I’d rather you be more careful.”

Steve wasn’t expecting that answer. Truth be told he knew she wasn’t wrong but he was too prideful to admit it. As much as he complained having to go into the med bay, he enjoyed that y/n never seemed to hold back how she was feeling. Everyone else treated him like he never made mistakes, like they always had to be on their best behavior. No on talked to him in full confidence, except maybe nat. She began bandaging his fore arm.

“I’m not trying to be a hero.”

“No?” He could hear how little she believed him

“Maybe I am, I just don’t want anyone getting hurt on my watch.”

“Pretty sure thats being a hero. You aren’t the only willing to put their lives on the line for others. That’s what makes you guys the avengers. Your team wants to protect you just as much as you want to protect them.” She said as she finished

“Thanks,” Steve stood up to leave

“Don’t even think about it Rogers. I need to make sure your neck is alright.” Steve had completely forgot about that. He had focused on putting pressure there first so it was all dried over.

“I don’t want anyone to risk themselves for me again.” Steve confessed as she put a rag to his neck to dab the blood. Y/n froze for a second. Everyone knew about Bucky and what a sensitive subject it was to talk about for not just Steve, but Bucky, and Tony as well.

“I imagine it isn’t easy carrying that guilt around. But if you continue to do this, one day there wont be a Captain America, and I imagine it wouldn’t be an easy loss for the team. You’re their family.” She finished cleaning his wound, “try not to end up in here on the next mission, okay?”

“What if I said I come in here just to see you.”

“I’d say Nat is rubbing off on you. And you’re lying.” Y/n smiled at him, “Have a good day Captain America.”

“Its just Steve. You’re right, I haven’t come in here just to see you. But I think I might now.”

“We’ll see.” Y/n doubted he meant any of that. What would an avenger want to do with someone like her? She turned around to begin cleaning up her work area. Steve reached out and turned her back around.

“I promise I’ll be more careful.”

“O-okay…” Y/n never got this flustered, but Steve had gotten the confidence he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I promise not to come back into the med bay next time, if you go on a date with me.”

“Are you bribing staying alive for a date with me? I am not worth all of that.”

“No, believe me you are.”

Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @artaxerxesthegreat @aunt-pipie @avyannadawn @imtoanonymousforyou @lacychick @minghao3o @quarthly @volturiwolf @ajeff855 @user13cabs @vxidnik @nenchiro

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sierraraeck · 4 years ago

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Bad Liar

Moreid (Spencer x Derek)

Masterlist

Summary: Ever since his first day at Quantico, Spencer has had only one thought on his mind: SSA Derek Morgan. He knows that any sort of relationship would be inappropriate, but that doesn’t stop the constant stream of fantasies from flooding his mind.

Category: Spicy fluff, smut alluded

Warnings: Non-graphic descriptions of sex, fantasizing, suggestive touching, kissing, very light cussing.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: This was inspired by the song “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez. If you wanna give that a quick listen, go for it, if not, that’s chill too. I know that I haven’t been very active and haven’t posted anything in a while, but sometimes life just happens. Hopefully this was worth the wait…

Spencer had heard the phrase “I never stop thinking about you.” He’d heard it in reference to love and relationships when people were apparently so madly in love they couldn’t stop thinking about the other. He never really bought that. Love was just a bunch of feel-good chemicals that couldn’t affect the amount of time spent thinking about another person. Plus, how could anyone ever constantly think about a person? There were so many other things to think about like surviving high school, getting into college, graduating, of course his mom, and then getting into the FBI, and how he would surely not be able to make it all the way through Quantico training. No one could ever think about one person all the time. No, definitely not.

But Spencer wasn’t known for being a good liar.

His first day at Quantico he saw Derek Morgan, and he realized that he was wrong. He was so utterly and outrageously wrong.

Because after he saw him, heard his voice just once, his exceptional mind kept those interactions on constant repeat.

He was lucky he was so good at multitasking otherwise he would have definitely failed by now.

Not like he still wouldn’t.

He couldn’t sleep, not with someone like Derek Morgan intruding his every thought, every midnight desire. On top of that, they were about to go into the hardest week of physical training yet, and Spencer knew that this was the one challenge that his brain could not overcome.

The one redeemable thing about the humiliating experience he was sure would come during the following days was that he’d get to see SSA Morgan again. Sure, it'd be more embarrassing to fail in front of him, but at least he’d get to see him a few more times before they kicked him out for being the scrawny kid he’s always been.

The feelings of excitement and anxiety twisted his gut into a wonderful knot, keeping him from yet another night of sleep. Somehow that made it both harder and easier for him to get up when the clock hit 4:45.

Spencer looked between two blinds covering the window on the right, allowing him to see that the sun was still about an hour from rising. Slipping on his given shirt and pants, he hoped that there would be some source of caffeine at breakfast, preferably coffee.

He trudged into the bathroom to find his roommate already awake and dressed. “Big day. You excited?” Jeff, a man about a head shorter than Spencer but at least twice his width in pure muscle mass, asked.

Spencer just grunted in response.

“What? You’re not excited to get pitted against someone else so that you can flail around in an attempt to spar?”

“I’ll stick to teaching you the technique,” he quipped.

Jeff laughed. “It’d suit you better. Unfortunately your wizard brain and forbidden library won’t help you in this one. But dammit if you aren’t the smartest guy here.” Jeff shook his head as if it were a shame.

Once they were ready, along with the rest of the NATs, the group was directed to jog across campus to the building they’d be training in. The day was off to a bad start.

Spencer did his best to distract himself from the actual running bit, trying to analyze the people in his group and those they passed as they went.

Bored, hungry, important, invisible… Derek?!

He turned his head to follow the tall man with short black hair and dark eyes as the group passed him on the sidewalk.

No, that wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t. Agent Morgan is waiting for us at the facility.

Spencer tried to hide the slight disappointment that came over him. He felt so stupid for looking for him everywhere, but he couldn’t help it. Even his own knowledge and logic was failing him when it came to this man he knew next to nothing about expect for his shining smile and intense eyes and toned biceps and amazing abs and powerful legs and delicious stamina and strong hands that could grip his neck and hold him down and his defined hips bones that Spencer knew would dig into his thighs and certainly leave bruises if he were to…

What was his issue? He couldn’t be thinking that way about one of his trainors.

Although it helped the jog pass by faster. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Or at least imagining having fun.

When they arrived at the other facility, they were provided a quick breakfast, unfortunately no coffee today, and then led to the top floor with an entire wall traded out for floor to ceiling windows.

The room they entered was massive, large mats rolled out edge to edge, and the smell was musty. It felt humid, sticky sort of, and Spencer hated to think about why that was.

He quickly scanned the room and found his target immediately. Across the way, Derek had his opponent mid flip, landing harshly on his back with a thud. He helped the poor guy up, laughing a bit as he did so. His pearly whites were on full display when he looked up and caught Spencer’s eye. Spencer quickly diverted his gaze, opting instead to look down at his twisting hands.

“Today we will be focusing on hand to hand combat,” Derek announced once the group had wandered closer. “You never know when the perpetrator will decide not to run and instead to attack you, or when you will find yourself without any weapons other than yourself to protect you. The first thing we are going to practice are some basic jabs. Grab a partner and follow our demonstration.”

Derek and the man he’d thrown on the ground earlier, Grant, demonstrated the seemingly simple movements that Spencer and the rest of the NATs were supposed to replicate. Of course, everyone else made it look easy, but Spencer just couldn’t wrap his head around what his arm was supposed to be doing where and when. It was frustrating, even more so than he’d prepared himself for.

“Keep your shoulders here,” that velvety deep voice said, accompanied by his large hands on either of Spencer’s shoulders, adjusting them to more of an angle.

All Spencer could do was swallow hard and nod. He didn’t even dare to look back at him.

“And spread your legs,” Derek said. His breath seemed to get closer to Spencer’s neck with every word, and quieter as he went along. But surely that was all in his head? Right?

Spencer’s startled eyes turned to look at the older man. The edges of his mouth twitched before resuming that stern, professional demeanour. “It’ll help you balance.” With that, he nudged Spencer’s foot farther backwards with his own and walked away, leaving Spencer feeling unnecessarily exposed and confused.

The guy across from him, Harold, one of the only people who had been genuinely nice to Spencer from the start, was watching the whole interaction with suspicion.

The day trudged on with not much change. Spencer’s skin was still on fire from where Agent Morgan had touched him, but he tried to convince himself it was because he didn’t really like being touched. He knew that was a lie, especially in this instance, but it didn’t stop him from telling it.

After lunch, training continued. But at least it got more interesting.

“Grant just got called out on a case, so I’ll be needing someone to help me with this demonstration.” Derek waited just about three whole seconds before smirking, the mischief written all over his face. “Come on? No one wants to volunteer? It’ll be fun, I promise.” When he was met with more silence (even the guys like Jeff didn’t want to be thrown around by Derek), he was forced to choose someone. “How about… Reid.”

Spencer’s head shot up from the back of the group. No, no, this is not good.

Spencer had been dreaming about getting thrown around by Derek for a few months now, but this was definitely not what he’d had in mind.

The crowd slowly parted and Spencer had to face the music; he was going to be humiliated in front of everyone, like nothing had changed since high school.

Sighing, Spencer forced himself to the front of the group. “Lay down for me, knees bent, would you?”

I’d do anything you asked, was Spencer’s initial response in his head. What he really did was shrug and follow instructions.

“The reason we practice this move is because at some point or another, you will find yourself in either position.” Spencer wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that until Derek legitimately stood over him, a leg on either side, then proceeded to get down on his knees, essentially sitting on top of Spencer.

He couldn’t even focus on what Derek was explaining anymore. Breathing didn’t exist. There was no way this glorious man was sitting on top of him right now. All he could think about was how prominent Derek’s ab muscles were through his tight shirt and how he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and run his tongue over them. Spencer could almost imagine what they would feel like; the rise and fall of his muscles, the small hairs covering his body… Spread your legs, he had said to him.

“So then Reid would grab my wrist…” Derek’s use of his name brought him back to reality. If only he could live in his fantasies for longer.

Spencer looked up at Agent Morgan confused. Derek’s eyes got wider and looked at his right hand and then down at his own left wrist. Spencer somehow got the message and reached his hand over to grab a hold of Derek’s wrist. “Good,” he declared. “After that, he would hook his left foot on the outside of my ankle.”

Spencer quickly followed orders, trying to force his brain to supply him with the information he’d missed.

“Then, he’d use my weight against me to flip me over.” Spencer’s eyes got big when Derek said that, mentally panicking that he could never be strong enough for that. Derek nodded at him, so Spencer tried to roll over, and to his, and everyone else’s, surprise, he actually could.

Within seconds Spencer was sitting on top of a very pleased Derek. “It’ll work every time. Of course, if your unsub is skilled he’ll lock you in and flip you back over and potentially pull your arm out of your socket,” Derek explained while doing just that to Spencer, minus the arm-out-of-socket thing, “But we’ll take this one step at a time.”

Derek was back on top of Spencer with his legs wrapped around him in a vice-like grip, but quickly let go to help him up. Spencer gladly accepted the help.

Spencer doesn’t exactly have what one would consider a “big dick.” He always thought that was something to be ashamed of but standing there, getting hard in the middle of an FBI training academy, he couldn’t’ve be more grateful.

The NATs were sent back to work on the newly demonstrated move with their partners. Just as Spencer was about to flip Harold over for the third time, he looked over his head and rolled his eyes.

“What?” Spencer asked.

“What is it with you two?” Harold asked in return.

“What?” Spencer repeated. Harold nodded in the direction he was just looking, and Spencer followed his gaze. Derek was walking by, but nothing else seemed of import. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh please,” Harold snorted. He was a lanky man like Spencer, but just a bit shorter and with glasses. Sometimes Spencer envied his glasses, as his contacts often got on his nerves. He continued, “The touching, the constant eye contact, the word choice that could be inherently sexual, and then literally sitting on top of you? When there were plenty of other men and women he could have picked for that demonstration? Tell me you don’t see it.”

Spencer mulled over these words for a few seconds before flipping Harold over. Looking down on him, he said, “I don’t think that means anything.”

“Then maybe you need to get a new prescription,” Harold said, pointing to his eyes.

Spencer shook his head. “What do my eyes have to do with this?”

Harold sighed. “God, your gaydar is so broken.” He flipped Spencer over, stood up, and walked away.

Shortly after, class was called and they were all let go for the remainder of the evening.

“Reid, can I speak to you for a moment?” Agent Morgan called out as the first of the NATs started to leave. A few caught Spencer’s eye with unanswered questions in them, but no more than the mound of questions Spencer had been asking himself.

Without answering, Spencer walked over to the corner of the room that Derek was standing in. He could tell that he was waiting for every single person to leave the room before speaking.

Spencer thought for sure he was getting kicked out because of how horribly he performed throughout the day.

To his surprise, that’s not at all what the outstandingly attractive man had to say. “I wanted to let you know that you did a good job today during the demo. Not many people handle that so well.”

Spencer waited for him to say more, but nothing more seemed to be coming. Derek actually seemed a bit nervous if Spencer could read him right. He replied cautiously, “Thanks.”

Derek cleared his voice and said, “Yeah. And if you ever want to stay late and work on some moves I’d be happy to help.”

Spencer just got more and more confused as his interactions with this god-like man increased. “Thanks,” he repeated. “Why are you offering to help me like that?”

Agent Morgan shrugged. “You’re one of the smartest people in FBI history to come through here, and definitely the youngest. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t become an agent, and I want to see you succeed. That’s all.” He shrugged again, and if there was anything Spencer had learned from the profiling section of his training, someone being over-casual was usually a sign that they were stressed about something they viewed with extreme importance, and were trying to play it off. Why would he be stressed to talk to me?

“I guess I’ll take you up on that offer. Will you be here tomorrow?” Spencer asked, trying to mask the hope in his voice. Who was he kidding; Derek was already one of the top profilers in the Bureau.

“I will be. You can plan to stay after then.”

Spencer nodded and walked away, but not before glancing back one more time. Harold was right; they did make a lot of eye contact.

The next day couldn’t go by faster. Spencer had spent practically the entire night thinking about everything that had happened, trying to figure out if Harold was right or not. There was no way. Spencer was just Spencer, a NAT, and Derek Morgan was, well… Derek Morgan.

He probably just thought that Spencer was a hopeless case and needed extra help. Yeah, that was it. It had to be.

When the day was over, Spencer wasn’t just relieved like he usually was, but he was excited too. It no longer mattered to him what the reason was for him being there late, he just wanted to spend more time in the presence of SSA Morgan.

“I was thinking I’d help you with that second move we learned today, the cross-punch jab combo,” Derek announced. His voice echoed just a bit off the walls of the training center now that it was completely abandoned.

He walked over to one of the punching bags lined up just a few feet from the wall, and Spencer followed him in a manner that could only be described as a lost puppy. Spencer could keep track of all sorts of numbers, but the sheer amount of repeating memories morphing into new thoughts morphing into full blown fantasies was even too high for him to count. He’d never known of a drug so powerful.

“I’ll show you the move again, then I want you to try and copy it.” Derek stepped closer to the bag and executed a textbook one-two combo, the muscles in his arms and back contracting in perfect unison. God, Spencer wanted so badly to just reach out and run his hands all over this pristinely sculpted man, but he denied himself, letting his hands tremble in place instead.

Spencer stepped up to the bag next to Derek’s and attempted to do the same thing. Derek watched with a sharp eye.

After a few reps, the skilled agent took long strides that landed him only inches away from the younger man’s back. “Keep tension here.” His hands engulfed Spencer’s waist and twisted them to the side with the ease of swatting a fly.

The feeling was so overwhelming Spencer thought he might never be able to move again, and honestly, he didn’t want to. Standing there in the grip of that man was really all he’d been wanting for months now.

The only thing that pulled him out of his trance was the way Derek’s fingers lingered as he walked around to Spencer’s front, drifting down far enough to send a clear message, one that even Spencer couldn’t miss, but not far enough to be completely intrusive.

But Spencer wanted intrusive. He wanted nothing more than for Derek Morgan to invade his personal space to the point of no return.

He looked at the older man with shock and a burning question, but didn’t flinch or move back. Derek simply bit his lip and scanned Spencer up and down at what felt like a snail’s pace. He felt like a helpless deer being sized up by a lion for his next meal.

Spencer swallowed hard.

He’d been wanting nothing more than to be in this very same situation, or one of the multitudes of variations he’d created in his mind, but now that it was here could he really go through with it? Was it really the best idea? Did he really want this? No, he couldn’t.

But Spencer wasn’t known for being a good liar.

The only signal Derek needed was the simple nod of Spencer’s head.

And he got it.

Like a snake ready to strike, Derek brought his lips to Spencer’s in an instant. His questioning fingers had an answer, returning to their strong hold over Spencer’s hip bones.

Spencer knew what was happening was completely inappropriate, but couldn’t find the will to care. The man he’d been dreaming about, spending every waking and non-waking moment obsessing over, was actually interested in him too.

All his fantasies were flashing before his eyes, Derek’s muscles now completely exposed to him. He frantically pawed at him, trying to feel and memorize every millimeter of the beautiful body before him, like every inch was another drop of water in his achingly dry mouth.

“Hey, hey,” Derek whispered. “Patience. Not everything can happen at once, remember, one step at a time.”

Spencer took a moment to breathe and look into the warm eyes he’d been drowning in. Only for a moment, though, as he had a lot he wanted to do, starting with kissing his way down this man’s chest.

Derek laughed a little at Spencer’s impatience when he placed his hands on his broad shoulders and lips on his burning hot skin. He didn’t mind, though. Unexpectedly, the young man knew how to use his mouth. He couldn’t wait to explore that particular skill set some more.

Within the next few minutes, bodies were slammed into walls, forced to the ground, and pushed further down into the floor than was previously thought possible. The echo of the room only amplified the intoxicating sounds and the wall of windows overlooking the campus only increased the arousal.

Spencer would have a new appreciation for the musty smell and sweat induced humidity in the room from now on.

The tension for the remaining month before the NATs graduated was unbearable. Harold made sure to point out the nauseating amount of glances passed between the two men, but was respectful enough to not point it out to everyone. He tried to deny anything had happened, but Harold wasn’t having any of it and let Spencer know he was a lousy liar, something he definitely needed to work on.

Come graduation day when all NATs would be receiving their department assignments, Derek made sure to personally hand Spencer his.

He carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper with one bolded line reading: “Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Spencer immediately looked up and locked eyes with Derek. He simply smirked in return.

Maybe his fantasy of having something more with the agent would become a reality after all.

Taglist

@90spumkin

#criminal minds fanfic #derek x spencer #moreid #dr spencer reid fanfic #derek morgan fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #spencer reid #reid #derek morgan #morgan

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captain-judd · 4 years ago

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help I'm super emo after finally getting to see a Black Widow movie

if you can watch this at a cinema, i highly recommend you do so ♡

[spoilers ahead. beware!]

- seeing the Marvel title card on a cinema screen after two whole years is so exciting, it feels like coming home <3

- Ever Anderson was a great choice for young Natasha, i was crying just 10 minutes in wtf

- THE OPENING CREDITS. major Bond film vibes, excellent song choice and some heartbreaking exposition all in about three minutes

- i really like how it bridges the gap between Civil War and Infinity War, this is peak MCU in my opinion so yes give us all the story (did Ross just let her walk again though? that guy is not good at his job lol)

- seeing Nat wearing her arrow necklace always makes me so happy

- fight choreography throughout was so good, especially with pretty much all of it being close hand to hand combat!

- but damn everybody has a Cap shield these days, do they grow on trees now or something?

- Florence Pugh is beautiful, talented, amazing, incredible. the dynamic between Nat and Yelena is fantastic and feels so much like a real sibling relationship even if they haven’t seen each other for years. their constant bickering in their first escape scene, “any day now” “shut up,” “what was your plan?” “i was just going to drive us away!” lmao big fan of these two

- you can tell this movie had a female director because the women HAVE THEIR HAIR TIED UP! ESPECIALLY IN FIGHT SCENES!! this is so important to me, we love to see gals being practical

- on a similar note i adored Yelena mocking Nat’s “pose fighting.” the movie itself is making fun of how Natasha has been unnecessarily sexualised for so many years and it’s so refreshing

- Alexei being the butt of every joke was so funny to me. he’s got the spirit, that’s for sure. the girls explaining what happens to their reproductive organs in the red room after rescuing him from prison was one of my favourite scenes for sure

- oh and Yelena’s vest! it has so many pockets!! some she even added herself!!! and she gives it to Nat and it’s the one Nat wears in Infinity War NOBODY TOUCH ME

- i liked the little dysfunctional family so much more than i thought i would. from American Pie singalongs and awkward reunion dinners to trusting each other with unrehearsed super spy plans, they’ve got it all

- plus Nat calling the Avengers her family so many times?? and us finally getting to know what went down in Budapest?? now that’s some good content

- this movie really illustrates why Nat broke the Sokovia Accords: she really does care about saving people, and will do whatever it takes

- have to give some props to Mason for getting Nat all the stuff she needs AND at such short notice, really pulled through at the end there. (AND THE AVENGERS THEME OVER THE JET AT THE END. yes just that piece of the original theme is enough to make me cry again)

- not wild about the villain dude, but he’s not really what the movie was about! Taskmaster pulling out Avengers fighting moves (Winter Soldier knife flip!) was SICK though!!

- i really don’t care how many times we’ve seen the face shifting mask thing before i’m excited about it every time!

- there's just so much girl power in this movie and it's so nice to see. And it's genuinely badass women, not just pandering. Also it's just fun to see the ladies getting the classic action hero treatment, even if it gets a tad out of hand at the very end

- Secretary Ross, sir, please take a vacation

overall i thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and it was worth the wait. it was well paced, the score was great, and such a perfect place in the mcu timeline to have a Nat-centric moment. i love her so much, it’s been like 3 hours and i miss her already :’)))

- END CREDIT: i’m hyped. poor Clint still cannot catch a break, but i’m so excited to see these guys together

#black widow #black widow spoilers #marvel #marvel spoilers #my posts 💫

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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Hey Nat, it's the roommate anon. I've been trying to stay off of all social media platforms (I get distracted easily) so that I can really work on my anxiety about all of this and just on my mental health in general, but I was really missing this blog today, so I just wanted to check in and say hi!

I hope that you're all doing well. Life can be difficult sometimes, and I feel like the way that our society works is not exactly conducive to having good mental health, but I hope that you're all feeling okay at least <3

If anyone's curious about how things are going with N (roomie), I still haven't told her that I'm not straight. I think that I need to get my anxiety under control first. Like I need to be okay, you know? I need to feel like I'm managing well first, and then I'm gonna tell her.

She has been amazing recently though. I appreciate her a lot. Like she's very supportive. She's been making sure that I take care of myself. Like when I get like this, I tend to just like... not eat at all. It just goes right to the back of my mind because I'm so focused on other things. And she realized that I've barely been eating and that I've lost weight, and she got all concerned, and so now she's been making sure that I eat.

And at first, I felt like it was embarrassing. I mean, I'm an adult, right? She's not my mom. I shouldn't need help with something so basic.

But now I've figured, you know what, everybody needs help sometimes. And people need help with different things. I mean, that's what we're all here for, right? To look after ourselves and to have a good time, but also to help other people in whichever ways that we can. I just think that we all need to be there for each other.

I actually did check Tumblr a few days though. One of them was the "Konversations with the Kushners" day lmao. I loved it, it was priceless. Very entertaining. I remember, I was like eating cereal, and N asked me what I was smiling at, and I told her it was just this funny thing online.

She got all curious about it, but I couldn't even tell her or show her because how do you even begin to explain that? 💀 The amount of like... foundation information that I would have had to have given just for her to understand 😭

Honestly, she is the cutest with memes though. She's like an internet grandma. I have to explain them to her sometimes. She loves Grumpy Cat memes, and she also loves that shifty monkey puppet meme, but that's about it. She sends those on our group chat on like a regular basis.

But yeah... Anyway, I really hope you're all doing okay! And if anybody else is struggling with something at the moment, I'm wishing you well, and I really really hope you feel better soon. I think that we can all do it, you know? Like stuff just gets so overwhelming sometimes, and everything can feel so fucking hard, but I think that we can do it and that we can get through it, and so I'm gonna keep trying, and I hope that you guys can keep trying too.

Also, Nat, I saw that people were attacking you on one of the other days that I checked this blog, and it's like... We're all entitled to our own (non harmful) different opinions, but I think that sometimes people let different opinions like... divide them unnecessarily, you know?

I think that sometimes people (including me) forget about the bigger picture which is that, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what anyone's (non harmful) opinions are because it's about what kind of person someone is overall, you know?

And you seem like a good person. Like you've helped me a lot, and you've helped other people. And I think that fair criticism towards anyone is okay because we're all flawed human beings who can improve, but hate is not okay.

And you really don't deserve a lot of the hate you get. I've forgotten what point I was even trying to get across, but I just wanted to say that I'm grateful that this blog exists and that I think that you're a good person overall and that I hope people go easier on you.

I mean, being called a sexual predator just for thirsting over a celebrity? Some of the antisemitic asks that you've got? People intentionally trying to upset you? People comparing you to spade-riddles? Messed up tbh. That stuff's really not okay.

But yeah, I hope that you're doing well too, and I hope that people take it a bit easier because we are all human, and different fandom opinions (that aren't harmful like the babygating) aren't a reason to hate someone. Every single one of us have flaws, but it's who we are overall that matters.

This whole ask is very true to character because my intention was to just "quickly check in and say hi", and I ended up literally writing 17 paragraphs lol. But sending love to everyone ❤️ And I hope that I can come back soon.

ROOMMATE ANON! Love you so much, and so thrilled to hear you're around and healthy-ish and well-ish. Thanks for this message, and stay strong xx

#roommate anon <3

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whytheylosttheirminds · 3 months ago

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thought I’d never be a frat!rafe writer but then I got a frat!rafe smutty blurb idea at literally 8 am in the morning….we’ll see….

#is this something yall want #or is the market over saturated #nat explains things unnecessarily

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medeafive · 4 years ago

Note

buckynat prompt: Buky joins the Avengers and Nat as his mentor (sort of like Coulson was to her and Clint), who explains/helps him to integrate better into the team. :) if you feel inspired.

I came across this years-old ask (sorry) and inspiration struck so here you go: good old retro tower fic with movie nights, Thor making pop tarts, Clint playing Angry Birds and all that.

(To the anon who sent a prompt more recently, I got it and I’ll get to it! Just don’t expect me to be quick lol)

Bucky’s not comfortable with this team thing. They all already know each other, have their established dynamics, all easy-going and sassy, and now he’s right in the middle and- it’s awkward. He’s not good at human-ing yet. Natasha and Steve both say it’ll come back, and that they all know their share of awkwardness, but he’s not so sure about that. His case is different. Just because he pulled it together enough to let himself be found by Steve, to come back with him-

He’s still not cleared for active duty, which he actually doesn’t mind that much. Hanging out in the tower is fine, he can handle most of them individually, even in small groups, but the real horror for him is movie night. All of them at once, one louder than the other, alcohol, some fast-paced movie he can barely focus on, and it’s all so crowded, too. Of course, the worst one was when Stark somehow made them all watch The Manchurian Candidate. But every time Bucky tries to suggest he’ll skip movie night, Steve gives him the worst puppy eyes he’s ever seen and he says yes to everything again. He really doesn’t want to disappoint Steve. And it’s not like he has any good excuses for not going, he doesn’t have missions like the rest of them.

They’re squabbling about the movie choice again, as they always do, and Bucky’s just sitting there quietly with the popcorn Thor distributed cheerfully to everyone. Barton wants to watch something funny, Stark wants to watch a horror movie because apparently Halloween is a whole season for him, Steve is trying to interest them in movies from back in the day without any success while Banner keeps suggesting films that don’t even have English titles and Thor is reacting to everything he’s heard of before, though he seems to mix most of it up. Bucky doesn’t really care what they’re watching as long as he doesn’t have to sit in the middle. Having people on both sides feels way too crowded. There’s no clear majority until Thor discovers there’s a movie called Paddington about a bear in a hat, and then everyone falls in line with that, though Stark only does so begrudgingly.

Bucky sits on the right side so it’s all good, and he pays some attention while also nibbling absent-mindedly on the popcorn. Natasha slips in about halfway through the movie, wet hair, rosy skin, and he remembers she had a mission, though he can’t remember what. Or maybe she didn’t tell him. She took it on herself to be something like a mentor to him, someone who understands what he’s going through, who doesn’t have as many expectations for him as Steve, who’ll help him settle in. She’s good at it, too, but she’s good at everything so that’s not surprising. He really really likes Natasha, more than he cares to admit, and he relaxes somewhat when she drops onto the couch next to him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she whispers back. “Mind if I sit here?”

He finds he doesn’t. She smells of citrus fruit, probably the shampoo. “Sure. Mission went well?”

“Well enough,” she replies, extending her legs and making herself comfortable like a big lazy cat. “Mhm. Was that Clint’s idea?”

“Thor really latched onto it,” he replies. “Apparently, two is a majority here.”

She chuckles, shifting again until her shoulder rubs against his, and he really only stops breathing for one second, at most.

He doesn’t pay any attention to the movie after that and it just flies by, time best measured by how often Natasha has reached over into his popcorn bowl. She chews very quietly. Or maybe the movie is just too loud to hear. Anyway, it’s over way too soon, credits rolling, and Natasha reaches into the popcorn bowl a final time before scooting a little away from him. Thor has thoughts about the movie, loudly proclaimed thoughts, and it goes back and forth for a while without Bucky really listening. He notices Banner quietly folding up what looks like some scientific journal on the other end of the couch. Steve turns to ask Bucky about the movie when he notices Natasha. “Oh hey. Nat. Didn’t see you there.”

Natasha reaches into the popcorn bowl again. “Yeah, didn’t want to disturb.”

“Glad you could make it,” Steve replies. “Did you get that business in Laos under control?”

He doesn’t remember that, so she probably really didn’t tell him. “Pretty much,” she replies, munching unabashedly. “I’ll debrief you all tomorrow. It’s not urgent.”

Steve yawns. “Tomorrow sounds good. It’s already late.”

“Oh come on, you old man,” Stark complains. “Really? Oh, hey, Romanoff.”

“Yeah, yeah, you night owl,” Steve returns, getting up. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning in the gym. Good night, Buck.”

“It’s not even 10,” Stark states. “We could easily watch another movie.”

“I’m out as well,” Banner says quietly. “One movie is really enough.”

Stark groans. “The god of movie night? Please?”

“Sorry, my friend,” Thor replies. “I promised Jane I would call her.”

“I’m game,” Barton interjects. “I mean, we can just watch without them. Tasha?”

Natasha shrugs. “I’m jet lagged, I won’t sleep anyway.”

“Well, then good night, boring friends,” Stark decides. “What do you want to watch?”

Barton shrugs. “Whatever. Hey, Thor, are you still making the cake pops tomorrow?”

Thor looks back. “Of course! Thanks for reminding me. I shall make them tomorrow.”

“Well, that’s one reason to get out of bed,” Barton remarks, turning back. “Any ideas on the movie?”

“How about Pretty Woman,” Stark teases. “I hear someone likes redheads.”

He blushes though he doesn’t mean to. Stark makes references like that all the time and Bucky still can’t handle it. Yes, fine, they spar together, and if she occasionally ends up having her legs around his neck, that’s a choking move and that’s why he gets red-faced and not at all anything else, no reason to be weird about it and say stuff like between her thighs- “Yeah, you,” Natasha throws back. “I noticed. I don’t really care but not Pretty Woman.”

“It’s weird that you’re over there,” Barton remarks with amusement. “I assume you don’t have suggestions, buddy?”

He shakes his head. Most of the movies he remembers are silent and Hydra didn’t care to keep him up on anything that didn’t involve killing people. Natasha climbs over him, accidentally kicking Barton’s arm. “Yeah, I’ll just come over. Whoops.”

“Oh, you like horror movies, don’t you?” Stark asks. “I bet you haven’t seen The Conjuring yet.”

“I haven’t,” Natasha confirms, settling in on Bucky’s left side. “I mean, if you want, sure.”

“JARVIS, you heard her,” Stark says. “Unless Birdbrain objects.”

Barton shrugs, pulling his feet in. “You know I don’t have taste.”

“Mind if I take that?” Natasha asks, pulling the popcorn bowl from Bucky’s lap to hers. “Then we can share. Clint, you know popcorn’s not real food.”

“You’re one to talk,” Barton shoots back, and then the film already starts rolling.

It turns out horror is bad. He actually thought he liked it, vague memories about taking girls to the theater and them squealing and grabbing his hand tightly, but the moment the creepy music starts, the hair on the back of his neck stands. He tries not to look too much, focuses on picking unpopped popcorn from the bottom of the bowl, his heart is racing unnecessarily, it’s just a movie, he has seen real horrors, this is just some invented bullshit- The next jumpscare hits him hard and his knee hits Natasha’s, rattling the popcorn bowl, and he could curse himself for making so much noise, drawing so much attention-

“Hey, JARVIS, pause,” Natasha orders, putting the bowl in Barton’s lap and climbing over the back of the couch. “You know what, I need a drink.”

Stark snorts. “You know what, make that two.”

Bucky’s heartbeat calms down a little. Okay. He can do this. It’s just a movie. He can’t admit he got scared because of a movie. He has a reputation, goddamnit. Barton gives him an unreadable look. Natasha climbs back over with two glasses, somehow not spilling anything. “There. Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Stark returns, knocking his glass against hers and then starting to sip.

The awful movie continues playing and Bucky’s a little short of distractions to focus on, given that Barton is still holding the popcorn bowl. He doesn’t even have anything to drink but getting up now would seem suspicious. Just sit through it. How long can this damned movie be? He’s been through worse. He can do this.

His heart rate doesn’t really go down, though, sweaty right palm, the old fight or flight but definitely don’t just sit there, which is unfortunately exactly what he has to do. He tries to focus on Natasha’s comforting smell, he thinks it’s orange, he often tells her about his nightmares and that makes it a little better, he’s here on the couch and the movie is just a movie after all-

He wasn’t paying attention so the jumpscare startles him badly, elbows jolting in, hands fisting- something grabs his metal hand and he relaxes slightly, Natasha’s thumb sliding into his palm- but then he realizes Natasha is holding his left hand, holding it tightly, thumb rubbing his metal palm, and his heart rate jumps up a notch. He feels everything in the metal arm, despite what he tells Steve when it’s malfunctioning, so he really feels Natasha’s small hand wrapped around his, squeezing his, and he actually doesn’t hear the movie anymore over the blood rushing through his ears.

He’s certainly not going to let go and she doesn’t either. He chances a look but she’s just staring ahead, gripping his metal hand. Fine by him. There’s more scary shit happening on screen but it doesn’t quite register. Barton starts arguing about something and Stark argues back but it’s all just a hum, Natasha flips her hand and presses all four fingers into his metal palm, thumb sliding over the back of his hand soothingly. Well. If there’s ever been a distraction, that was it.

He still startles, though, and Natasha squeezes his hand so hard he’d never dare do it to her, for fear of breaking her hand, and then there’s a particularly bad bit that makes him tense in the shoulders and she leans over slightly and whispers “it’s over soon” in his ear. That makes it a little better. Most of all, it makes it very hard to focus on the movie.

The bad bit is long, feels long, but then the rest flies by almost regrettably fast and before he knows it, Natasha has pulled her hand back and the lights are turning on again. He blinks slowly, awakening from a dream-like state. “I don’t know,” Barton remarks. “Witches, really?”

“We fight with gods and aliens and you want to object to witches?” Stark complains.

“Not witches generally,” Barton retreats. “But weren’t they saying that the woman burned during the whatever century witch hunt was actually a witch? Wasn’t that the whole point?”

“I mean, it’s a horror movie,” Stark replies. “Does it really have to make sense?”

“I thought it was great,” Natasha says. “Not necessarily anything new or creative but solid horror stuff.”

He’s still shaken, though he can’t tell whether that’s from the movie or from Natasha’s tiny hand squeezing his. “Yeah, they’re going to make like 5000 sequels and spin-offs,” Stark remarks. “Hey, popsicle, you don’t look too happy about it.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky replies, carefully restrained. “I kinda zoned out, wasn’t really paying attention.”

That’s kinda true, actually, he couldn’t retell the story though the creepy music and the shock effects are very fresh in his mind. Natasha casually pats his thigh. “I’m hungry. Any food in the house that isn’t popcorn?”

“Fridge is fully stocked,” Stark reports, pulling out one of his fancy phones. “Yeah, I’m out though. Pep scheduled me a 9am tomorrow.”

“The horror,” Barton remarks sarcastically. “Nah, I’ll think I’ll go to bed. Or, you know, play Angry Birds.”

“You know that’s not the same thing as sleeping,” Natasha accuses, climbing over the back of the sofa. “Okay, good night, losers, I’m making myself a sandwich.”

She disappears into the kitchen and Bucky realizes he stared after her again. Stark snorts, swiping over his magic phone. “Hill says there’s something in Brazil we should take a look at. Yeah, tomorrow.”

“Again?” Barton questions. “Weren’t we there only a few weeks ago?”

“Yeah, turns out us being there didn’t magically fix everything,” Stark replies. “Surprisingly.”

Barton rolls his eyes, getting up with a groan. “Yeah, that sounds like a problem for tomorrow me. Great guy, he can do anything. You’ll meet him tomorrow.”

“You keep telling me about that guy and he never shows up,” Stark returns, typing something. “Okay. See you tomorrow then, there’ll be a meeting and all.”

Bucky has never been to one but they all seem to hate it. Barton flips the bird and slumps over to the elevator. Stark is still typing, frowning. “Mhm. Any plans, robobrain?”

“No,” Bucky replies carefully. “Not really.”

Stark huffs with amusement, stuffing the phone away and grinning. “I see. Have fun zoning out then. Staring blankly into the dark or whatever it is that you do.”

He feels like if Stark made an inappropriate comment now, he’d snap, but somehow the guy just grabs his not yet empty drink and saunters off down the stairs to the other elevator. This building is complicated. He waits until the elevator doors open and then close again, taking Stark’s humming up with them. Then he sighs, pushing up, and walks slowly over into the kitchen.

Natasha is indeed making a sandwich, washing lettuce like it’s just what she does, not like she’s 130 pounds of could kill you. Well, he doesn’t know her weight. She looks up when he leans in the doorway. “Don’t wanna go to bed yet?”

“No.” He bites his lip. He’s not really hungry, too jumpy and unsettled.

She makes a sympathetic noise. “The movie didn’t sit well with you, huh?”

Not at all. “Especially the bit about demonic possession,” he admits. “Thanks, though, I didn’t want to- didn’t want to tell them.”

“It’s totally okay if you can’t handle horror movies,” Natasha replies, placing the lettuce in her sandwich. “I mean, they’re designed to stress you out. But I get that that’s hard to admit.”

He breathes out. She has this way of making you comfortable with her, open up to her, and somehow it doesn’t feel sinister or manipulative but good. Like she understands. He still feels her tiny hand against his. “It’s just- one stressful thing stacked on top of another on top of another.”

“Yeah, I know,” she agrees, squirting some sauce into the sandwich. “That’s just what life is.”

He grabs one of the bar stools and sits down. “What about you? You were gone for a while.”

She shoots him a grin, capping the sandwich off. “Ah, you know how it is. Nice beach holiday.”

He snorts. “Isn’t Laos the one state in Southeast Asia that doesn’t have a coast?”

“Good catch,” she remarks, biting off the sandwich. “Have you been studying geography?”

“Reading up on Vietnam, mostly,” he replies. “I’m pretty certain I was there at some point but I didn’t really understand what was going on at the time. I mean, I still don’t understand it.”

She chuckles. “Yeah, that’s not on you. No, the mission was fine. Didn’t get too messy.”

She’s often secretive about missions, probably a habit from her SHIELD days. He’s learned to avoid it. “Good weather at least?”

She smirks, taking another bite of her sandwich. “Ha. Summer monsune. It was super humid. Hot, too.”

That does sound familiar. Yeah, he shouldn’t kid himself, he probably did some really bad stuff in Vietnam, even if he doesn’t remember right now. Another minefield. He sighs, straightening. Tomorrow. "I think I’ll go to bed. Might join Steve in the gym tomorrow morning.”

“Could you-” she cuts in, wiping the pink-ish sauce out of the corner of her mouth. “Wanna stay just a minute? I’ll be done soon.”

He frowns, sinking back into the chair. “No hurry. Why?”

“Nothing,” she replies, chewing. “Nothing. Sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

His stomach still feels too fluttery for that. “No, I’m good. Are you okay?”

“All good,” she reassures him. “Just give me a minute, then we can go upstairs together.”

Wait, that’s weird. And not in the blushing way. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

She chuckles suddenly. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. Promise not to laugh.”

“Okay.”

She wipes another bead of sauce off her lip. Yeah, that was too much. “Okay. Don’t laugh. I get really scared during horror movies.”

He almost laughs. “Come on, you weren’t.”

“I hide it well,” she replies. “And I’ll forget it the next day but right now, I wouldn’t go into the dark and I’m watching that corner really hard.”

Oh, she’s serious. “So why did you watch it?”

“Please.” She snorts, picking up some lost lettuce. “I have a reputation. I can’t admit I’m scared because of a stupid movie.”

Well, he wouldn’t have believed her. “So when you grabbed my hand-”

“That wasn’t just for you,” she finishes. “Now, if you tell anyone, I will murder you.”

Of course. “Don’t worry, no one would believe me anyway.”

“True,” she admits, taking another bite. “So, now you know. I still think it’s fun, though.”

He can’t agree with that right now but maybe he can in the future. “Okay, I’ll just stay until you finish. And I’ll gladly walk you back to your room.”

She snorts. “Don’t get all gentlemanly on me. Thanks, though.”

He’d actually like to thank her but he’s already been cheesy enough. “No problem. But don’t you dare tell Stark.”

She grins mischievously. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

#buckynat #bucky barnes #winter soldier #natasha romanoff #black widow #avengers tower #my writing #fanfic

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vintageneptune92 · 5 years ago

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Shadow of The Day

So this one was requested by @fandomaestheticxo . Bucky Barnes x Reader with Prompt "Don’t leave me”

Hope you enjoy! It kind of ends abruptly, but I wanted to get this out and if I didn’t end it, it would go on forever. As always reblogs, comments & likes are always appreciated. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged in this or any of my other work

. Marvel Tag List: @fanfictionjunkie1112 @shreddedparchment

Marvel Masterlist

“SAMMY!!!!” You screamed as you ran across the rooftop. “Are you close to the south end building?”

“I can be.” You heard his voice come through your ears. “Why?”

“Because you’re going to have to catch me!” You screamed as you turned and jumped backwards off the building. You said a silent prayer that he got to you in time. But you’d rather die at your own hands than Hydra. They weren’t kidding when they said “Cut off one head and two more grow in its place.” Ever since Thanos had been defeated, Steve Rogers had officially retired and the world lost Tony and Natasha...they had creeped back up. They had thought they stood a chance now that some of the major players were gone. They couldn’t have been more wrong.

The Falcon had taken over the mantle of Captain America and with the help of The Winter Soldier had formed a new set of Avengers. Even with Thanos gone, the world wasn’t safe. It seemed like Hydra, the worst of the worst thought they stood a chance with the change of command. TI were happy to have another team to serve with. Working with Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff has been an honor and a privilege. You, Sam and Bucky had fallen into a comfortable team. They bickered, you drove Bucky Barnes crazy but the three of you were a team. You were THE team. You trusted the two men implicitly and you’d lay your life down for both of them.

You felt your stomach in your throat as you plummeted towards the ground. You were immediately questioning the decision you made. The moment you thought it was all over you felt the back of your legs and upper body cradled. You opened your eyes and saw Sam Wilson grinning.

“That was a ballsy move.”

“I wasn’t letting them get their hands on me.”

“You know he’s loosing his shit right?”

“I’m sure.” You rolled your eyes. Sam set you down on the ground.

“They’re dead.” You heard in your ear. “They offed themselves when I was about to capture them. Meet me at the jet.”

“Want a ride?” Sam grinned at you and scooped you up after you nodded.

_________________________________________________________ Bucky paced back and forth on the quinjet. Your recklessness weighing heavily on his mind. How many times had you unnecessarily risked your life? How many times had you ignored a direct order? Sam may have found it endearing- he found it infuriating. He cared too much about you to let you get yourself killed for no reason.

Steve had warned him. Steve knew how you were. Steve had told him you were fearless. Bucky just hadn’t expected you to be this careless. He often wondering if your blasé attitude when it came to your own life was a direct result of all you had lost since Thanos...and before Thanos. You had picked yourself up by the bootstraps, survived Hydra captivity and made a new family with the original Avengers. You had made a home with Tony and Pepper. And then Thanos came and when it was all said and done you had lost everything again.

Steve had hesitated going back to Peggy because of you. You had assured him you would be okay. Steve deserved a happy ending. He deserved to have the life he wanted away from the fight. “After all”, you had said, “you won’t be dead and you’ll come back”. You had promised Steve you were okay. Bucky had promised to take care of you. But lately, it was like you didn’t care what happened to you. You had thrown yourself in front of a bullet, taking it in the shoulder instead of Bucky. The Winter Soldier, a super soldier who was almost invincible. He would have shrugged that bullet off. You goaded Hydra soldiers into attacking you, you loved making them mad, which was playing with fire. And then today, you jumped off a building without knowing how close Sam had been. Another few moments and you would have been spread across the pavement. Then what would he have done? How would he and Sam have coped with THAT loss? How would he explain to Steve that he failed to do the one thing he promised- to keep you alive?

A year after Tony’s Funeral:

You had been working with Pepper to rebuild the compound. Tony had become your mentor after he and Steve had their falling out. It had been difficult to go against Steve, but you had sided with Tony on the Accords. You were there when Tony found out that Bucky had killed his parents. You had held him up after Steve’s betrayal. The truth was, Tony had held you together after Steve had left too.

Now the only thing you could do to honor the man who had become your family was rebuild what he had made. You had a memorial created for Tony and Natasha on the grounds. You went to it every day and cried. A year later and you still weren’t over the deaths of two of the people you loved most in this world. Your only saving grace was that Steve Rogers, the man you saw as a brother, was still alive and had gotten his happy life with Peggy.

You saw him as you approached. He had cut his long hair. He looked like the pictures Steve had shown you. His vibranium arm covered by his jacket and glove. You could feel the regret radiating off of him. You and Bucky had fallen into an easy friendship, though you were certain he saw you as a pain in the ass. You knew he felt responsible for you since Steve was gone. You had overheard him promise to keep you safe. The two of you, however, hadn’t become friends that shared their inner feelings yet.

“He forgave you, you know.” Bucky turned and gave you a questioning look. “Tony. He forgave you. He and I talked a lot about it after Steve went on the run. It took a while, but he did. I told him what it was like being a prisoner of Hydra. Once he got over the shock and the pain of it- he forgave you. He wanted to be able to tell you that. But then Thanos did what he did. Then Tony did what he did. And now here we are. For him, it was more Steve. His betrayal. If Steve had been honest with him, things would have turned out differently. Steve and Tony made amends. I’m certain that if Tony has lived, then he would have made amends with you too Sergeant Barnes. He forgave you. Forgive yourself. You need to let The Winter Soldier go. You’re a good man Sergeant.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because Steve Rogers told me you were. And that man was never wrong. You need to forgive yourself. Tony would want you to. And you’ve already made your amends by helping me rebuild what Tony, Nat and Steve made. I’m digging the hair cut by the way.” You shot him a wink and didn’t give him the chance to respond before you walked away. He never told you, but that day you helped him say goodbye to his complicated past and look towards his future.

The next year was filled with witty banter, flirting and kicking ass. You had seemed to have it together at first. It was more recent that you seemed to be falling apart. Maybe because the 2nd anniversary was coming, maybe it was being involved with Hydra again; or maybe the exterior armor you had worked so hard to build so no one could get in had officially cracked. He was so angry. How could you not care more about yourself? How did you not realize how much you meant to him? He heard you and Sam approaching the jet and got busy getting ready to take off, trying to control his temper. He didn’t want to have a screaming match with you. “Nice work Buck.” Sam patted Bucky on his shoulders.

“You too. We’re just no closer to what they want.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at you and immediately went to the quinjet controls. You were expecting him to rip into you. You didn’t know which was worse, his wrath or his silence. You knew the wrath would eventually come.

“Y/N has an idea.” Bucky turned and raised his eyebrows at you, his face laced with attitude.

“I think they want Steve. I overheard them talking about ‘The Captain’. All they know is that he’s retired. They don’t know that he went back in time to live a life with Peggy and came back over 100 years old.”

“What would they want with Steve?”

“They want more Super Soldiers. You’re their only successful soldier. They may have enhanced me, but I’m no Super Soldier.”

“That’s funny because you act like you are.” You took the jab and continued your thought. He was trying to bait you. It made him feel better to yell at you, but he didn’t want to feel guilty later. Pushing you into a fight was the only way for him to not feel guilty.

“I think that Hydra thinks they can get the jump in him. If they can get his blood they might be able to recreate the serum. Technology is more advanced now. They could do it. And Sergeant- just so you know, before you make any other comments or decide to scream at me when we get back. I owe Steve Rogers my life. He saved me. If Hydra finds him now, he’s not what he used to be. They could take him. I will DIE before I let Hydra torture me into telling them where he is. And I won’t die at their hands.” Bucky clenched his jaw and turned to the controls of the jet.

Around the events of “Age of Ultron”

“She’s an enhanced. Hydra made her. How do we know they didn’t plant her here to take us down from the inside.” Clint had his arms crossed in front of him. “He has a point Cap.” Bruce had been trying tofigure out what your abilities were, but you wouldn’t let him near you. Tony was tight lipped, Bruce had a feeling he knew.

“She wouldn’t have been locked up like that. You saw her, they tortured her. You can’t fake that look in her eyes. And she would have attacked. She’s been alone with enough of us. Bruce, you of all people should understand being misunderstood.She can stay on my floor. I’ll keep an eye on her if it makes you feel better, but I trust her. She needs someone to show her kindness.”

“I’m with Cap. She’s telekinetic, by the way. If she wanted us all dead she would have flattened us. She stays. And once she’s bounced back mentally we give her the choice to fight with us and learn to use her skills or I set her up with a nice quiet life.”

“I want to fight.” Your voice was hoarse. Your lip was healing from being split down the middle. Various other injuries were apparent.

“Y/N- you don’t need to decide now.“ Steve rushed over to you.

“Hydra killed my family. My Uncle was a scientist for them and he let an enhanced go. He didn’t know what he was getting into until it was too late. He felt guilty and letting their subject go was the right thing to do in his eyes. They wanted someone young, so they went after the only child he was related to and loved. They made him watch as they murdered my parents and my Aunt. They made him watch as they abused me, broke me and finally injected me and then they killed him. I’ve seen the evil they have put into this world. I need to help fix that. I need to fight back.” You had become an Avenger that day and never looked back.

Bucky had his arms crossed in front of him. He was still not ready to let go of the days events. Sam has gone off to update the mission files. You and Bucky stood toe to toe in the terminal. Sam had felt the conflict brewing and wasn't in the mood to referee the two of you, he was tired.

“Why didn’t you use your powers?” He questioned you like you were a child. You threw your hands up in exasperation.

“I was running across a roof top that had NOTHING to throw at them. And I was running! My aim isn’t great while moving. I can’t move people, you know that! I never got that far in my training with Tony. He thought I was powerful enough to do it." You felt your voice getting shrill. Bucky was the only one that could bring that out in you. "But then Thanos happened and Tony came back broken. He left. And then when he came back again, he died! Nat is gone. Thor is off in space. Bruce and Wanda are off grieving their losses. Steve is gone. Everyone is GONE!” You were crying and yelling at the same time. Bucky hadn’t meant to upset you like this. He was just so damn upset and scared that you would get yourself hurt or dead. Your voice was quiet and low when you continued, “Everyone is gone but us. And Sam isn’t equipped to help me train. Neither are you. You don't have the patience to help train me. And none of us are a smart as Tony was. Not even Bruce. He knew exactly what to do to bring me to the next level. To bring out my abilities. None of us that are left have that talent. Steve might have been able to, but well, he chose a different path. And I’m glad that he did.” You wiped a stray tear. “I will die before they ever get me again. I will NEVER go through that again. I can’t go through that again. You of all people should understand that. And I will protect Steve Rogers with my last breath.” You turned on your heel and stormed out of the room, ignoring Bucky calling your name. You only paused for a moment.

“I promise you, on my life, on your life, I wont let them take you. They will never get their hands on you again.” You continued walking down the hall. Bucky stood there for a few moments after you had gone, hoping you’d come back.

_________________________________________________________

2 Weeks Later

You had taken a mission hiatus. More like a Bucky Barnes hiatus. You had been avoiding him since your last argument. You hadn’t been able to settle down from it. You were having horrible nightmares. Emaciated Tony Stark haunted your dreams. Bucky had did everything he could to get you alone so you could talk again, but you weren't having it. You told Sam you needed a couple of weeks out of the field to get your head straight. He wasn't sure what had gone on between you and Bucky in that hallway, but he didn't ask. You were still upset and he knew you didn't want to talk about it. So while he and Sam went off to fight more Hydra members, you decided it was time to take care of Steve Rogers and make sure he was safe. You had heard more rumors that Hydra was on the hunt for Steve Rogers. There was no way in hell you would let them lay a finger on him.

“I don’t need anyone to protect me.” Steve was still Steve.

“Steve. They’re after you. You’re like 200 years old now. I really think they could take you.” You had a hand on your hip. He knew that look too well. He knew when he could reason with you and when your stubbornness was going to make his life hell. He knew he wasn’t going to get his way. “New Asgard is nice. Valkyrie is a bad ass. I trust her to make sure they can’t find you. Please. Just until we can get a handle on this. I can't focus out there if I'm worried about you. Wondering if they're just distracting us because they figured out where you were and they wanted to make sure we were too busy to help you. They don't know that you're an old man now. Let's keep it that way.”

It was still alarming to see Steve this old. While his appearance may have been overall different- his eyes, his warm and kind eyes, were still the same.

“Okay Doll. If it makes you feel better. But you have to do something for me.”

You raised both of your eyebrows at him, which encouraged him to continue. “Be more careful. Take less risks. Cut Bucky some slack. He cares about you. He just isn’t great at expressing it. He used to be...before...but they changed him.”

“I told him-“ Steve held his hand up to silence you.

“You and I both know that you’re reckless with your life because you think you’re not worth caring about. You think that now that Tony is gone you don't have a place in the world. Nat is gone. And I might as well be gone. I get not wanting to go back to Hydra, but this isn’t new. You've always been reckless with your own life. You need to realize how much you’re worth. Sam and Bucky, they depend on you. You guys are a family now. You mean a lot to Bucky. More than you know. Be more careful, if not for them, for me. I’m not there to watch your back anymore.”

You blinked back a few tears, gave Steve a rushed kiss on the cheek. “Sure thing Captain.” You quickly made your way out of his small home in New Asgard. You didn’t like how emotional he and Barnes made you feel with their speeches and concern.

Steve sighed and ran his hand down his face. He knew you were still struggling with the loss of everything. A small part of him felt selfish for not making sure you were really okay before he went and got his happy ending. He didn't know how to reach you, how to help you heal. He pulled his phone out and dialed Bucky to give him a heads up. Bucky had been concerned about you as of late, Steve was starting to see why. _________________________________________________________

That night you were standing in the balcony of the compound drowning your feelings in a cheap bottle of champagne. It was a little chilly for early May. You stood in a pair of leggings and a grey waffle knit sweater you were sure had been Bucky’s before you washed it and accidentally shrank it. You hadn’t heard any news about their mission from that day but assumed no news was good news. You could hear music from a party in the distance.

“Can’t be that bad sweetheart.” Bucky’s voice made you jump. He was reminiscent of the Bucky Barnes you had heard stories about.

“Jesus...” you held your hand over your rapidly beating heart. He operated in stealth mode 24/7. He scared you more times than he didn’t. “You need to wear a bell. What isn’t that bad?” Bucky had a gleam in his eyes, one you didn’t often see.

“You only drink $10 champagne out of the bottle when you’re upset.” His head nodded at the uncorked bottle sitting on the patio table. “We’ve been a team long enough for me to know your tells. Nice shirt by the way.” He was smirking at you. If you squinted hard enough, he was definitely flirting.

“Sergeant are you drunk?” He laughed.

“I have to be drunk to be in a good mood?” He stepped closer to you. You had your back against the high railing. He technically had you blocked in, not that you felt the need to bolt from him, not yet anyway.

“Um yeah. Wait- you can’t get drunk.”

“Thor may have sent some supplies from a far away land. He knows my pain of not being able to get drunk on cheap booze. Unlike some people.” He was looking down at you, ghost of a smile on his face, teasing tone. “Sam and I had a good mission. We were celebrating. We wanted you to celebrate with us but we couldn’t find you.”

“I’m honestly not really in the mood for celebrating.” He closed the space between you by another few steps. You felt goosebumps when he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“And you say I’m the broody one. What’s getting to you sweetheart?” Normally any man that called you pet names like that would be digging their scrotum out of their throat. But from Bucky and Steve it was different. They didn’t mean it in a condescending way. From Bucky it was kind of endearing.

“Relocated our senior citizen Super Soldier today. He just said some stuff that stirred things up.” Bucky’s ice blue eyes bore into yours. You could tell the moment the music from the roof top party across the compound where lower level agents were hanging out pulled at his attention. He cocked his ear towards the right.

“Dance with me.” You scoffed.

“What?” He put his hand out for you to place yours in his.

“I’m actually a great dancer. I used to go dancing all the time. Dragged poor Steve on all of these double dates.” He stared at you expectantly with his hand still out. With pursed lips and an eye roll you placed your hand in his. He pulled you close to him while he held your one hand in his and placed the other on the small of your back. That feeling of his hand holding your body close to his felt like a puzzle piece finding the right place. You rested your free hand comfortably on the nape of his neck. You felt selfconcious under his gaze. He was a really good dancer.

“I kind of like this side of you Sergeant. Carefree.”

“I’m slowly getting back to who I was from what they made me. I actually have you to thank for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“The day you came up to me, told me Tony forgave me. That helped me more than you know. If he could let go of what I had done, then I could too. You set me free.” He whispered the last sentence in your ear. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. “I wish I could set you free too.” You gave him questioning eyes and he continued. “I know that Tony and Nat’s deaths still weigh on you. I know they and Steve were family to you. I know you miss them. But Tony- he would want you to move on. Be happy. That’s why he did what he did. So you, Pepper, Morgan, Peter and everyone else could live on.” His grip on you tightened when you tried to yank yourself from his arms. You turned your head to the side and he sighed.

“Look at me Y/N. Please look at me.” You slowly turned your head back to meet his eyes. “You bring so much value. This team needs you. Sam needs you. I- I need you. You make me feel things I did t think I would ever feel again. You’re everything Y/N. Please don’t destroy yourself. I can’t imagine living in a world without you in it."

You both jumped apart when you heard knocking on the glass. Sam Wilson was doubled over laughing at how he had scared the two of you. You took the opportunity to slip away from Bucky.

"Y/N... wait."

"Good night Sergeant ." And then you were gone. You had felt something stirring between the two of you. Bucky Barnes was a good looking man, and when he wasn't in mission mode, was the most charming man you had ever met. Even more so than Steve or Tony. Being that close to him, letting him in, letting anyone in terrified you. Every time you let yourself get close to someone, you lost them and they took a piece of you with them. Pretty soon, there wouldn't be anything of you left. You had to keep Bucky at a distance.

_________________________________________________________

Bucky was pacing the length of Steve’s living room. It was like watching a ping pong ball. As much anguish as Bucky was in, Steve Rogers couldn’t help but to be thrilled. This was HIS Bucky. This man was a far cry from The Winter Soldier Hydra had created.

“Buck- take a breath.”

“I’m an idiot Steve. It was too much too fast. I mean, we’ve always had this flirty banter. But I told her she was everything. I mean what was I thinking? She’s like a baby deer, anything too loud or bright and she bolts.”

“Y/N cares about you. I’d even venture to guess she feels the same way about you as you do her.” Bucky gave him the ‘I’m going to argue’ look, before he could start Steve continued. “Hear me out. I see the look in her eyes when she talks about you. I’ve seen her protect you, a man near invincible, when on a mission. She’s just scared. Loosing Tony did a number on her. Don’t give up on her.”

“And if you’re wrong?”

“Well then Buck you can retire with me and we can go to Asgardian Bingo.”

Bucky cracked a smile. “You’re still a punk.”

_________________________________________________________

“Y/N!” Sam was barreling toward you. “You can’t blow off any more missions.”

“Sammy I’m sorry. I just need more time.”

“I can’t give you more time. Look I don’t know what’s going on between you and Barnes. You’re avoiding him and he’s mopey. But you need to get over it. Get your shit and get your shit together. This is a huge lead on Hydra’s current leader. Wheels up in 30.” Sam stalked out of your room without waiting for a response.

“Dammit.” You signed, knowing Sam was right and knowing you couldn’t avoid Bucky forever. And the idea of getting your hands on the current leader of Hydra was too good to pass up. You grabbed your suit out of your closet.

30 minutes later you were walking onto the quinjet. Bucky looked up and was genuinely surprised to see you. Sam must have thought you weren’t coming.

“Good to see you Doll. Thought you had quit.” He circled around you, staring you down.

“Just wanted some space.”

“You were hiding. Worse you were hiding from me. Why?”

“I’m sorry. Bucky I can’t. This...I can’t do it.” You turned so your back was facing him.

“No. You’re not pushing me away. There’s something here, between you and me. We do this mission and then we are having a serious conversation about us.” Bucky gestured between the two of you.

“Buck-“ you started but Bucky cut you off again.

“Listen- I get it. You’ve lost everything, twice. You’re scared. I’m a survivor. I’m not going anywhere.” He was standing so close you could feel his breadth on the back of your neck. The tiny hairs on your body were standing on end. “Y/N- you make me feel alive. I’m not turning away from that.” Before Bucky could say anything else, Sam climbed aboard the quinjet.

“Good we’re all here. Now let’s get this son of a bitch.” _________________________________________________________

This was an ambush. They had planted the intel to lure the 3 of you to where they wanted you. You were still kicking their asses, but you were running on empty. Using your abilities drained you and you felt a mind numbing migraine quickly approaching. You knocked the Hydra soldier charging at you in the head with a lead pipe knocking them out.

“Y/N you okay?” Sam sounded frantic. You had gotten separated from them early on. You had been internally freaking out but kept pushing forward. You hit your comm.

“Yeah I’m good. I think I just took out the last one over here. I’m going to start making my way to the South East entrance to get the hell out of here.”

“Y/N- please be careful. We will meet you there.” You heard Bucky’s gruff voice. You felt a flood of relief hearing him.

You pulled the hand gun from your holster and slowly made your way through the building. You didn’t remember running this far in, but then again you had been focused on staying alive. You were about to hit the pavement outside when you heard him before you saw him.

“Hello Y/N” his heavy Eastern European accent hung on your name.

“Agent Tordova” You swallowed hard. This man haunted your nightmares. He murdered your family, everyone you loved. Tortured you. Tried to make you into a monster.

“Did you say Tordova?!” Bucky’s voice boomed in your ear piece but you were too frozen to answer. You could hear his feet pounding on the pavement. He must have been running to find you. He knew what this man had done to you.

“It’s been a long time Y/N.” Her circled around you like a hunter circles its prey. “I must say, Avenging agrees with you. I was sorry to hear about your mentor Tony Stark. Another loss for poor Y/N.” You wiped a tear that slipped from your eye as it ran down your cheek. “Always so weak.” He stepped closer to you.

“Don’t you listen to him Y/N. Don’t you dare let him get under your skin.” Bucky was out of breath, clearly still running.

“Where is Captain Rogers?”

“He’s on vacation. Sorry.” Your voice was clipped. You didn’t even get a chance to flinch and his hand was around your throat, squeezing.

“That smart mouth always got you into trouble.” You kicked him in the gut and stumbled away.

“There is nothing you can do to me that will make me give up Steve Rogers location. Nothing.”

“I don’t know darling, I made you crack once or twice.”

“I’m a hell of a lot stronger now than I was back then.”

“That may be true, but there is nothing here for you to hurl at me.” He was cocky as ever. He lunged at you again this time he had you in a head from behind.

“Get your filthy hands off of her.” Relief flooded your body. Bucky promised he’d never let Hydra get their hands on you again, and here he was.

“The Winter Soldier. Our greatest creation and biggest loss. What were the words again?”

“You could say them a thousand times, your programming has been wiped.”

“Well then let’s make a deal. I let the beautiful Y/N go, relatively unscathed and we will leave Steve Rogers alone. You come with me.”

Bucky could see the fear you were trying to hide. But your eyes were wide and your breathing was erratic. Normally calm in any storm, this man had destroyed your life and nearly destroyed you.

“What do you need me or Steve for?”

“To make more soldiers. I just need all of your blood, that’s all.” You had an unreadable expression on your face. Bucky was proud that you had figured it out. Before he or Tordova could say anything else you had elbowed him in the stomach, the fight back in your eyes. Sam came in from the other side about to grab Tordova when Bucky saw your stumble back and the horror full Sam’s eyes. It had all happened so fast, he couldn’t stop it from happening. He and Sam rushed to you as Tordova made his escape.

“Y/N?!” Bucky cradled you in his arms. He saw the blood pooling from your stomach. He started to put pressure on the stab wound. Sam was calling for help. They needed to get you out of here fast.

“Bucky...I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, save your strength. Medics will be here soon.”

“No listen, I’m sorry I pushed you away. I was just scared.”

“It’s okay. You can make it up to me later.” You groaned in pain and leaned into him.

“Bucky I....I love you.”

“Stop it! Don’t say goodbye. You’re not leaving me! Y/N?!” Bucky pulled your body close to his. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me” He felt people pulling him away from your unconscious body. Sam held him back as the medical team started working to save your life. Soon you were on a stretcher and being air lifted out of the facility.

“Tordova?” Bucky couldn’t look at Sam.

"He got away." Bucky punched the wall in frustration.

_________________________________________________________

Bucky sat next to your bedside. Somehow, you were still alive. It was some sort of miracle. The amount of blood you had lost and the internal injuries from the stab wound would have taken a normal person out. For the first time, he was grateful for whatever Hydra had pumped into your veins. He was certain that is what kept you alive.

You had just gotten out of a second surgery to repair an internal tear. The beeping of the machines were the only thing indicating you were alive. There was no movement from your body other than the shallow breaths. They had taken you off the ventilator and so far you were breathing on your own. Whether that would continue was another story. There had been something on the knife that you had been stabbed with, You were fighting a nasty infection on top of everything else. You looked so small and fragile in the bed. It wasn't a sight he was used to. He was accustomed to the fierce fighter with a sharp tongue. He would give just about anything to hear you tell him off. He'd gladly switch places with you just to hear you laugh again.

He thought back to a few months prior, after a mission that went relatively successful, the three of you were sitting in the kitchen drinking. You were laughing so hard your sides hurt. Bucky and Sam had gotten into a shot for shot match up. Sam had broken out Bucky's special stash. You and Sam were partaking in tequila. Even with the much stronger liquor, Bucky was drinking Sam under the table. Sam was slurring his words slightly. You had seemed so carefree in that moment. His head snapped up when he heard you groan.

Everything hurt. Everything was loud. And as you slowly opened you eyes, everything was too bright. You tried to sit up and cried out in pain.

“Easy sweetheart, you’re going to pop a stitch.” Bucky’s easy voice filled your ears.

“I’m alive.” Your voice was scratchy.

“Barely. It was touch and go for a while.” Your eyes focused and you saw the dark circles and lines of worry etched on Bucky’s face. You felt your heart swell. The memories of Tordova and being stabbed came flooding back. You remembered being in Bucky's arms and seeing a tear slip from his eyes.

“I meant it.”

“What?“

“I meant what I said. I was scared. I sorry I pushed you away. I was a coward. But I love you Bucky.” You felt his lips lightly brush yours.

“I love you too. You don’t have to apologize now. You have nothing to be sorry for. Now you rest and heal. Once your back on your feet you can make it all up to me” you felt his lips brush yours again. You wouldn’t waste another moment of your life in fear. No matter what happened you would face it with Bucky at your side.

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shadowsof-thenight · 5 years ago

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Fictober day 17: Matchmaking

Promptnumber: 10 “Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me.” Fandom: MCU Characters: Sam Wilson x Reader, many other avengers make an appearance. Warnings: some light angst, mostly fluff Words: 2816 Summary: Tony is throwing a halloween themed party and Natasha decided to play matchmaker for her friends.

A/n: before this challenge I had never written anything for Sam, so I can only hope that these quickly written stories do him justice. I do want to write more for him now.

Matchmaking

“Ugh, I can’t believe we’ll miss the party,” Sam whined a little as he stared pout of the window with binoculars.

The two of you had been on surveillance for two weeks now and not much had come of it. Aggravating as it was, this wasn’t new to either one. Every now and again tips simply turned out to be wrong or fake. It was only natural and everyone on the team was used to it.  However the prospect of missing one of Tony’s extravagant parties, for the sake of such a misdirection, soured the mood considerably.

Sam and you both loved to party, he even more so than you. He loved the way Tony would go all out for these nights and this time the theme was Halloween, since it was held the weekend before. Dressing up always made the entire atmosphere a little lighter. It really was the party of the year. You were bummed, but knew neither one of you would leave the confines of this small apartment until Fury allowed it. That wasn’t likely to happen at this point.

You sighed, not bothering to vocalise your agreement to his statement, he knew already. Instead you leaned your back against the couch, staring at the ceiling and hoping it would suddenly show you something new or different than you had in the past few weeks. You didn’t.

The apartment consisted of two room; an open plan living room and kitchen, although kitchen was perhaps a big word for the small counter and two pitter to cook on. To the side was a small bedroom with adjoining bathroom, which was about as small as the kitchen was. The entire place was very sparsely furnished. A small couch and table in the living room and a simple but rather comfortable bed in the bedroom. The place didn’t leave much room for privacy and it was slowly wearing you down.

Sam was a good roommate, but everyone needed some alone time every now and then. Unfortunately due to the nature of your job, the bedroom door was never closed and the apartment was too small to really retreat anywhere else. The bathroom was the only place of solace and it really wasn’t much.

It also didn’t help that you had caught a glimpse of Sam’s half naked body more than once. Glistening with droplets that remained of his shower. The sight didn’t leave you unaffected and it was getting harder to hide that. By now you were certain that he was catching on to you liking him as more than a friend.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you from your thoughts and you glanced down to see Natasha’s name pop up. Opening the text, you smiled while reading. For all her tough notoriety, she was incredibly sweet. She offered to arrange costumes for the two of you, just in case you managed to make it back in time for the party. With the smile still on your face, you turned the screen towards your teammate, allowing him to read it too, before you answered. He smiled and nodded eagerly, holding out hope that he would get to wear whatever she picked for him.

“Nothing weird or stupid,” he mentioned and you chuckled, knowing that if you put any restrictions on the widow’s help that she would make you regret it. She loved pranks and it would not be in your favour. So you neglected to repeat his message back to her, instead thanking her for the offer and taking her up on it.

“You never know with Nat,” you told Sam honestly, shrugging it off with a chuckle and Sam could only agree with you.

He turned his attention back to the garage you were surveilling, some added spunk to his stature again. You smiled, feeling it too even though there was no inclination that you would get home in time. And all too soon, the glee of hope had left you both, as the monotonous nature of this assignment settled in again. It made the apartment appear even smaller than it already was. The two of you switched places every few hours, catching up on sleep every so often. This wasn’t the first time you worked together and it went quite seamlessly. He really was easy to get along with, even with your crush often making it unnecessarily complicated and at times even awkward.

Sam was usually teamed up with Bucky, if a duo was required, but much to his own despair Bucky was stuck in the hospital wing when this assignment came in. He had been nursing a badly broken leg and though he healed faster than most, the break was complicated enough to require pins to keep it in place. It had angered the soldier greatly. To ease the pain, at least he knew for certain that he would attend the part, you thought to yourself, slightly more bitter than you had intended.

Two more days were spend in a similar fashion before director Fury finally deemed the tip null and void, allowing you to come back to the compound. Elated you packed your bag and left the horrible apartment, practically racing towards the airport where Fury had arranged a plan to meet you. You’d arrive home in the nick of time for the party, mostly likely dead on your feet, but nothing was going to stop you from going.

****

A few hours later you were standing in your bedroom, looking at the outfit splayed on your bed. You had managed a few hours of sleep, before Natasha had come to wake you. A shower had removed the last remnants of sleep and you were excited again. That was until she had shown you your costume and confusion had taken over.

“Who am I supposed to be?” You asked as you assessed the outfit. It was reminiscent of the late twenties, early thirties of the twentieth century and you tried to grasp who it would be, drawing a blank.

“Bonnie…” Natasha hesitantly stated, drawing out the name. You kinked your eyebrow, hoping to prompt her into an explanation. Bonnie who? If she meant Bonnie Parker, you were missing half of a duo. And if she meant any other Bonnie, you didn’t have a clue.

“Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me,” she finally stated and you chuckled, wondering just what she had planned. Still too happy that you had managed to make it back in time, you decided not to fight her over the lack of information. You simply put the outfit on and let her help you with your hair. She managed to create a beautiful up-do that appeared quite glamorous.

“What about you?” You finally asked, glancing at her through the large mirror. She was wearing a read sleek sweater and a long black skirt. Her hair was hidden underneath a black wig.

“Olive” she stated simply and suddenly the look clicked, she really did look the part.

“So does that make Steve Brutus or Popeye?” You joked and she shook her head with a smile.

“Popeye of course, her one true love,” she then countered with a wink.

“Oh barf,” you joked, earning a laugh from your friend. You stood from your seat and smoothed out your skirt before linking your arm through Natasha’s and leaving your room. It was time to party.

Happily chatting the two of you made your wait to the elevators, only to be interrupted by an angrily stomping Bucky. He seemed annoyed with her and as he held up his costume you burst out laughing, understanding his annoyance completely.  “Nat! What is this?” He asked, holding up an orange spotted pelt, a blue tie and a fake wooden bat.

He glared your way upon your laughter and you tried to keep it in as you looked to Natasha for an explanation. He wasn’t going to accept his costume as readily as you had.

“Fred!” Natasha answered with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes. She was up to something.

“Who the fuck is Fred?” He growled, looking very much like a tantrum throwing toddler. All he was missing was a stomping foot.

“Flintstone, from tv, from the stone-age,” you finally burst out laughing, joined by Natasha.

“Don’t pout, I thought it was a nice fit” Natasha smiled angelically and you laughed loudly as Bucky grumbled and walked away. He had limited choices with the party having already started downstairs. He either refused to wear his costume, which Tony frowned upon, or he sucked it up. Third option, improvising something with his own clothes. Either way he had to decide fast.

“I’ve got a surprise for him, if he puts that on, but I’m not telling him just yet,” Natasha whispered as the soldier had walked back into his room at the end of the hall.

You shook your head with a smile, there was one thing Natasha loved to do more than anything during these parties and that is set people up. You could only wonder who would be dressed as Wilma Flintstone tonight. And while this was funny to imagine, you also knew that a similar fate was probably waiting for you. Stepping into the elevator, it dawned on you that someone down there would be dressed as Clyde and you had no idea who it was.

A few moments later you entered the large room, marvelling at the decorations and looking around to find Pepper and congratulate her on a job well done. The room was decorated in everything and anything halloween themed. There were plastic spiders in sticky webs, pumpkins, witch hats and brooms. The punch had eyeball shaped ice cubes in it and all cocktails had special names, such as witches brew, Carrie’s revenge and screamers. It looked absolutely amazing.

When you finally found Pepper, dressed as a vampire bride, she was surrounded by the waiters who she was giving directions. You waited a moment for her to finish and then stepped forward, telling her how amazing you thought everything was and that it was time for her to relax and enjoy the party she so magnificently put together. Humble as she was, she tried to tell you that it was all Tony, but you both knew that it was merely his idea and that she had given it life. As always, though Tony often helped where he could. They made a good team, balancing each other out, for she would have never thought up some his extravagant ideas.

Dracula Tony finally came to sweep her off her feet and bring her to the dance floor, where they soon caught the eye of everyone with their effortless dancing. They were always a stunning couple, even decked out as bloody vampires, and they looked so happy.

You smiled as you watched them sway to the tunes, accepting the cocktail that Natasha handed you. You couldn’t decipher what was in this witches brew, but it tasted rather good and you were drinking it down as lemonade. It was yet to be seen if this was a good think. It probably wasn’t.

You were standing silently next to your friend, drinking in the room and all the costumes, when you saw something that had you choking on your drink. You slapped Natasha and she smiled sweetly, knowing exactly what you saw. She rubbed your back as you tried to stop coughing. You’d finally found your Clyde. Natasha had made use of your crush, which she had figured out long ago and she had made Sam wear the accompanying costume. Unwittingly making the two of you a pair.

Blood rushed to your cheeks as Morticia Addams handed you a glass of water. You smiled gratefully as you swallowed it down, feeling calmer almost instantly. Wanda always had that effect on you. As you were catching your breath, you saw the meaningful glances shared between the two temporary black haired women and wondered if they had worked together. Upon asking them bluntly, they answered honestly, confirming your suspicions. They had thought it would be a great way to break the proverbial ice between you and Sam.

You silently cursed them, but held it in as Sam was coming your way now. Your coughing fit had probably alerted him to your presence and it wasn’t hard to figure out that you were his match, even if he might not fully understand Natasha’s intentions.

“We match,” Sam said, grasping for your hand and twirling you in place. You smiled, nodding in agreement.

“Care for a dance?” He asked then and despite the want to say yes, you wavered for a moment. Finally you figured you might as well use this moment and accepted him hand, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor where many other people were already dancing. By now the blush on your cheeks was tenacious and you could only hope that he would assume that it meant you were tipsy. There was no hiding it now and you didn’t want to back out of the dance either.

He had one hand carefully splayed on your back and the other was wrapped around your hand as he spun you around the room, moving to the loud beats of the music. Sam was a good dancer, able to lead someone, which came in handy since you were to shaken with your current state to be of much use. All you could do really, was follow his lead. His close proximity was slowly depriving you of all rational thought.

“Why do you think Nat would put us together?” Sam asked, his lips close to your ear and his breath fanning your neck. The blush intensified and spread, reaching well below your neck now. You tried to find a way to answer him honestly, without putting yourself on blast. It wasn’t easy, with the cocktails you had already consumed. Part of you just wanted to tell him that you liked him. However, the fear of rejection held you back.

“She thinks she’s a matchmaker,” you finally said, your voice a little raspy with emotion. His face was still far too close to relax.

You turned your head, to catch your breath, and glanced at the other people on the dance floor. Steve and Nat were wild as they moved around the space, laughing loudly and whispering to one another. You could tell that it wouldn’t be long before they would slip out. They never did manage to reach the end of a party, simply too engrossed in each other. They made a cute couple, a cute and powerful couple that was.

“Is she?” Sam brought your attention back to him. His voice has been soft, sultry and again entirely too close for comfort.

Shocked by the interruption of your thoughts you turned your head back swiftly, your lips suddenly mere inches away from his. Your breath got caught in your throat and you blinked rapidly, glancing from his eyes to his lips repeatedly. Heat was slowly taking a hold your whole body and the blush must now have reached your toes.

“Usually,” you whispered, biting your lower lip as the tension between you build and build. You hoped you had understood his question correctly. Sam didn’t reply immediately, holding you closer still, staring deep into your eyes as he let your words sink in.

“Want to get some air?” His voice matched your tone and volume, rendering you speechless and you could only nod, allowing him to lead you out of the room and down the hall.

The hall greeted you with a deafening silence and a chill in the air as you hastily stepped through it. Though before you got very far, Sam pulled you into an empty office. You felt restless as the door closed behind you and anxious for what would happen. You couldn’t be reading his intentions wrong, could you? Had he brought you here for a kiss?

Your eyes were still trying to adjust to the lack of light in the room when Sam pushed you up against the wall, his hands travelling over your sides and coming to rest on your hips. He pressed himself against you, hovering his lips over yours.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his breathing slightly irregular as he seemingly forced his hands to stay still, gripping you tightly.

You took a deep breath, smiled and whispered your affirmation, not daring to speak louder as if it would break the spell you were under. Sam returned the smile briefly, before crashing his lips on yours. He pushed up against you and your hands moved over his muscular arms, one hand finally resting on his cheek and the other nestled in his neck, effectively keeping his in place. Not that the situation required that, he wasn’t planning on moving away any time soon.

***

Fictober19 Masterlist

#Fictober19 #MCU fanfiction #Slight Angst but mostly fluff #Sam Wilson x Reader #Sam Wilson

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jq37 · 6 years ago

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oh WOW that new bloodkeep ep

**spoilers for family in freefall bloodlines and lifelines**

Man this episode was a lot. Probably my fave of the season so far.

Brennan seems to have an M.O. in terms of plotting things. They way we got a focus on each character in a stressful situation reminded me a lot of Family in Flames from the FH season which came at about the same point in the story.

Anyway, we start with Brennan giving the most unnecessarily verbose description of falling ever.

I am actually not sure how big Lilith is supposed to be in relation to everyone else at this point. Or how big her kids are supposed to be. I thought the really young ones were like straight spiders but like Jessa and the boy who’s name I’m forgetting were centaur style like her. But like, idk.

Efink insisting that she’s still holding the wheel (even though it truly means nothing) was so funny.

Both Matt and Brennan do very good re-entry sound effects.

Brennan: Feel free to do nothing.

Rekha: *SLAMS that induce labor button with no hesitation*

Truly amazing

“You feel your fire break.”

Leiland falling to his doom while bossa nova music plays in the background and rolling his eyes at Maggie is iconic.

Everyone is dying and Sohkbar is just like, fine.

Lilith polymorphs into a full ass spider.

Even though it ended up going sideways (literally) not a bad plan from Markus.

Brennan is so good at scene setting exposition.

Erika acted the hell out of that moment when she and Sohkbar share a look before she tells Russel everything is gonna be OK. She didn’t have to but she did that for us.

The wheel that steers nothing metaphor was such a good turn of phrase from Bren.

Efink’s DOUBLE NAT ONES.

WOOOOOW.

Rekha goes, “THIS is the bad day,” with Kristen Bell’s inflection and I am reminded that it has not even been a full 24 hours in game since ep 1. Wild.

Anyway, Efink’s norn spirit things disappear which is what happens when you roll snake eyes I guess. Amy is legit tearing up.

Brennan’s throwaway joke of explaining story structure low key killed me.

Leiland gets advantage on perception and rolls a nat 20!

Are all of the Vingury just gay for the next person in their chain of command? Because that’s what it seems like.

Matt’s flustered Leiland as Miles implies ~things~ is adorable.

Animal handling 2, electric boogaloo. I love that joke.

Maggie is so OP. Maggie hits the ground and isn’t even at half HP. Leiland is knocked into negatives though.

His first death save is a nat 1. WHICH IS 2 FAILURES. I was so stressed.

Then J'er'em'ih rolls a nat 20 to go save him!

I love the phrase, “J'er'em'ih’s normal form” as if he has a normal anything.

“J'er'em'ihdeserves the credit.”

Anyway J'er'em'ih(w/ an assist from Sohkbar) saves Leiland!

Rekha was so concerned for John. Like, not even Maggie. Rekha.

“It’s gonna be an egg!?”

Samantha Eagles. (Of the Philadelphia Eagles?) I died at that line.

Maggie levels up and gets healing magic. (“Fuck yeah!” says Maggie.) John stabilizes.

The fact that Maggie thought it might be an egg makes me concerned that she maybe isn’t ready to be a mom.

I love that Maggie just wordlessly presents her baby to Lilith (the alpha mom of the group) like a kid showing their mom and art project.

OK, this is such a tiny moment but I love, love, love that Maggie has a good enough relationship with Lilith that when she heard what she thought was a threat to her baby, she just asked, “Is that a threat to the baby?” instead of attacking her or going *Maggie will remember that* and harboring mistrust. The way she asked was so adorable. Also, Lilith would never.

Markus floats basically the exact same plan as Lilith (defect to good, get pardons) but at least he uses it as a plan of true last resort.

Lilith being the keeper of basically all of Efink’s self esteem is great. Also, everyone has to keep reminding her that she is queen.

“As the resident magnificent failure.”

“Allow me to be the basis for your self comparison. That’s the best I can offer you.” LEILAAAAAAAND.

Anyway, Leiland gives a great pep talk to Efink who throws her spell cards over her shoulder irl (”it’s an RP episode. it’s fine”).

Amy to Brennan who is about to start roasting Efink’s entire life: Don’t do this.

So when Brennan said, “Efink gets to decide right now if she’s good at magic.” I was thinking, that’s a big thing to put in a PC’s hands unless you want the answer to be yes. Because, in another story, “No,” might be the better answer narratively, but who’s gonna voluntarily nerf themselves like that?

So Efink dips into an episode of Friendship is Magic which Brennan beautifully picks up the narration for and gets the info they need without rolling for it. She also has some major self actualization and is now dry, less vain, and less dramatic.

It kinda seems like this was leading towards Lilith being the new leader what with her thoughts while she was falling and her being passed up for the promotion but, come on. She would have to make a crazy soul rending deal to just take the crown normally and she has kids and common sense. Otherwise, I think Erika would have made that play.

“Is my son a different player than me?” I love Rekha.

Like Leiland, I fully thought she was gonna name the kids John at first. (Are you ‘allowed’ to jr. a kid who isn’t named after you or your spouse? I’ve never seen someone do that. As in, add the jr., not name a kid after a friend).

I love that Matt roleplays Leiland into so many awkward moments. A good RP-er doesn’t care about their character being cool all the time.

“I’m naming him after the name of yours that I prefer.” That was so sweet.

“First of all, J'er'em'ih’s an excellent judge of character.”

Everyone coming together to make Leiland feel better was so so sweet. These guys are like the exact opposite of murder hobos in a game where they 100% have the right to be.

The baby tells Leiland to kneel and he just does it because of course he does. (Leiland later: I HAVE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS)

Maggie after Leiland swears total fealty to Leiland Jr: Can’t you keep anything at like 80%?

Efink rolls a nat 20 on her check to navigate the Bloodkeep, basically completing her self actualization arc.

Leiland resists the urge to chase Hamhead, completing a portion of his arc.

The running thing of people giving Maggie biologically incorrect info on kids because of their drastically different biology.

Aww all of Lilith’s kids.

Lilith dispel magicking the book golem, implying she could have done that at any time and just chose not to.

Leiland apologizes to Maggie for being bitchy to her out of jealously, which I thought was sweet but was just the warm up act for what was about to happen.

But, before that, Maggie’s dad calls and Efink hangs up on him for her. For a second I thought that cutting off the call meant we wouldn’t get to see what was behind the doors but, luckily, that wasn’t the case.

(Also Sohkbar and Lilith eating popcorn as Maggie and her dad fight).

Did Efink appoint herself high adviser?

“Please don’t bite him,” *Leiland Jr. bites a spider*

So, anyway, Leiland and Maggie go into the portal and see visions of (1) weird sex between Zaul and Lilith and (more importantly), (2) Zaul bagging on Maggie when she’s not around/thirsting after Leiland when he’s not around.

The simile about winning the lottery after you find out money can’t buy you happiness was so good.

“What a fucking pig!”/“I agree.”/“Oh, do you?”/“Actually I do.”

I’M SO PROUD OF THEM.

Instead of being mad at Leiland (or Lilith for that matter) she just doubled down on being mad at her dickhead ex. And Leiland, instead of being all winner winner chicken dinner just felt bad for Maggie and Decklan.

“Was this something the baby should have seen?”/“No.”

“This is one of the lesser times it’s bad to say your father’s name.” Yikes Leiland.

Anyway, the whole hang makes plans to take Sohkbar shopping and it really fits in with the theme of this ep of everyone boosting everyone’s self esteem. This ep has a lot of genuinely heartwarming moments.

“Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes.”

“What did you roll? [28] You see everything.”

Leiland Jr. as new king seems like a questionable decision imo but I’m not gonna backseat RP.

“You guys start engaging in a fun conversation about statecraft.”

“Lilith, I’d like a hug.” Lilith hugs her and kicks her legs up like she’s in the climax of a romcom.

The whole group hugs and Brennan calls them out and has a NPC call them out, even though he’s the person who led them to this path!

Man, the promo for this ep really made it sound more dire and less heartwarming that it actually was.

YOU’RE DEFINING GOOD

“Imagine there’s 9 squares in a grid.” TRAPP

That like 20 seconds had so many good lines. “We’re cutting out the middle man and taking evil straight to you.”/“We’re evolving evil.”/“We’re disrupting evil.”

Now that I think about it, they really haven’t escaped the bloodkeep so far, have they? They’ve been going back and forth between it but not really trying to escape it per se.

Olag is back because, again, of course he is.

Final battle y'all!

Sounds like we’re getting actual Gollum next week so that should be fun. Also, very curious to see what that last, “No,” is in response to. These guys are good at cutting trailers so it could be nothing serious, but who knows?

#escape from the bloodkeep #bloodkeep #spoilers #asks #anon #Anonymous

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authorbarbie · 7 years ago

Text

10 Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

Summary: There’s more than one way to say ‘I love you’. You just have to be paying attention. (TW: Blood)

One

After two long weeks, the mission was complete.

Although it had consisted of countless sleepless nights and the occasional bout of bickering due to tiredness and overall frustration, you felt relief that it was finally over. The final fight had ended considerably well, with both you and Steve only receiving a few scratches and bruises by the end.

Despite your success, however, you were exhausted. Over the last few days, you estimated that you had probably slept for around 8 hours at most, and it was starting to take its toll.

Sighing, you kept one hand on the wheel and used the other to rub your bleary eyes while the tiredness practically seeped into your veins. The clock on the car dashboard told you it was currently 1:32AM and the radio that was down low was playing a song that you felt would lull you to sleep at any moment.

When you had initially arrived in Moscow for the mission, both you and Steve had made the decision to hide the quinjet - somewhere nobody would be able to find it - until you were ready to use it again. Unfortunately, Steve had chosen a spot that was so well hidden that it required a 3-hour drive from where you had been living during your stay in the capital city. You were currently on hour two and cursing past-Steve for his choices.

Speaking of Steve, he was currently sitting - more like slouching - in the passenger seat next to you with dark circles under his eyes. The man had stubbornly refused to sleep until you did, insisting that the serum meant he didn’t get tired as quickly as others. While you supposed that might have been true, you knew he would still need to rest soon.

You were broken out of your thoughts then when the car suddenly fell silent as Steve switched off the radio. Your eyes fell to him with a questioning look before you quickly looked back to the empty road ahead.

“Pull over. Let me drive for a while,” he said.

“I’m fine -”

“You’re exhausted,” Steve smiled tiredly at your stubbornness. “We still have at least two hours until we reach the quinjet. Let me get us there.”

A moment passed as you thought about his offer and with a sigh, you found yourself stopping at the side of the road and hauling yourself out of the car to switch seats with Steve, who proudly took his new place in the driver’s seat and started the car once more.

Curling up in the passenger seat, you quietly thanked Steve before closing your eyes and letting your head rest against the window, the gentle humming of the car as Steve drove proving to be a good lullaby.

Two

Your heels clicked as the group made their way back to the tower. None of you had planned on walking home but once Tony had gotten you all kicked out of the cab with his obnoxious drunk singing, the team decided to finish the journey on foot.

The cold bit through your thin shirt and you thanked whatever deities were out there that you had thought to wear jeans that night instead of a skirt. Nevertheless, you were still freezing and swore you were beginning to lose sensation in the tips of your fingers.

“I told you to bring a jacket,” Clint said smugly when he saw your attempts to warm yourself up.

“Shut up, Barton,” you frowned, flicking his ear as he walked by and smiling at the pained noise that left his lips.

“Nat, she hurt me!” Clint whined to the redhead who only rolled her eyes in amusement.

“You kinda deserved it,” Bucky chimed in from his spot on your left. Bucky, who had thought ahead and was currently wrapped up in a nice, warm coat. Stupid, smart Bucky.

Just as you found yourself beginning to glare unnecessarily at all of your friends for being all warm and toasty, you felt something knock into your right arm. Frowning, you turned to see Steve who had just finished shedding his jacket and was holding it out to you with an expectant look.

“Take my jacket,” he explained. “You’re cold.”

Almost immediately, you began to shake your head and refute his claims, but it seemed Steve had anticipated this. Ignoring your refusal, he simply reached around and placed his jacket snugly over your shoulders. Instantly, you felt your body begin to warm up and you couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh which caused both Steve and Bucky (who had been watching the exchange) to chuckle.

“A true gentleman,” Bucky teased, causing your cheeks to redden as you continued to walk.

You patiently waited until Steve had looked away to give Bucky a small pinch on the arm for his joke.

Three

Pain. That was the first thing that registered with you when your eyes fluttered open. The next thing was that your arms and legs were both bound to a table with tight, leather straps and no matter how hard you struggled, they wouldn’t budge. The third was that there was a red symbol painted onto the wall opposite you.

The large skull with protruding tentacles was practically taunting you as you lay there, helpless. Of course it’s Hydra, you thought. Evil bastards.

Just as you had laid your head back on the table and tried to calm your racing heart, the door opened up and approaching footsteps were heard. Quickly, you closed your eyes in an attempt to feign sleep, but your attempts were in vain.

“I know you’re awake,” said a familiar voice.

You frowned. What was she doing here?

“Open your eyes,” she ordered, running her fingers over a selection of weapons that lay on a small table behind your head and choosing her favourite. “You don’t wanna miss the show.”

You did as you were told, albeit unwillingly. A curtain of red hair had fallen around the woman’s face and for a moment, you thought you had made a mistake… but then those sharp eyes turned to stare down at you and you found yourself whimpering involuntarily. The soft green gaze that used to look at you with such fondness was gone and instead, something much darker and much more evil lay beneath.

“Nat,” you whined as she moved closer. “What are you doing?”

“My job. You understand, don’t you?” she replied simply, taking her chosen knife and letting the point lightly graze your thigh as she toyed with her prey. “Hail Hydra.” Without warning, the knife was plunged into your flesh.

You woke with a start, sweat pouring down your skin as you frantically tried to catch your breath while tears formed in your eyes. Your heart was pounding against your rib cage while you ripped the blankets off of your body and searched, panic-stricken, for the wound that was sure to be covering your bed with blood… yet you found nothing.

Fumbling in the darkness, you switched on the lamp that sat on the cabinet next to your bed and blinked rapidly as your eyes adjusted to the light. Your eyes fell to your thigh once again but instead of a fresh wound, all you saw was a thick white scar you had gained a month previously. You really had been captured by Hydra but, of course, it wasn’t Natasha who had been inflicting the pain upon you. Despite this, ever since you had been freed by the team, you had been having nightmares about the events; the torturer in your night terrors being replaced each time with a different friendly face - Natasha wielding a knife, Wanda using her powers to dig deep into your brain, Bucky’s metal arm wrapped tight around your throat as he squeezed and squeezed…

You jumped as a knock sounded at the door to your room and you found yourself not wanting to answer. Taking a deep breath and cursing yourself for being so silly - you know that you were safe in the tower - you slowly crawled out of bed and padded over to the door.

“Steve?” You whispered in confusion as you opened the door wider to let the man in.

“Are you okay?” He immediately asked in concern, blue eyes scanning your face for any sign of distress.

You frowned. Had you been screaming? Did the whole tower hear?

“I… I had a nightmare. But I’m fine, don’t worry.”

At Steve’s disbelieving look, you scoffed weakly and lead the way back into your bedroom with slightly shaky legs. “Okay, maybe I’m not fine but… I’m coping. That’s good enough, right?” Taking a seat back on your bed, you watched as Steve wandered over and began to fix the blankets that had been thrown around haphazardly in your panic. Your heart swelled at the simple gesture before you caught another glance at the scar on your thigh, causing you to tug your shorts down further in an attempt to cover it up.

Catching a glimpse of your actions, Steve sighed as realisation hit. He took a seat on the other side of the bed next to you. “Was it the same one?”

You nodded, not entirely trusting yourself to speak.

“Who was it this time?” He asked gently.

“Nat,” you whispered as flashes of her cold, unforgiving eyes came back into your head. “Did I wake everyone up?”

“No. Actually, I didn’t hear anything,” Steve broke eye contact at your confused look, reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously. “After the incident a few nights ago, I, uh… may have asked FRIDAY to let me know if you had any other nightmares.”

A few nights before, you had woken up from a similar night terror; only that time, it had been Clint who had been inflicting the pain. That nightmare had been particularly gruesome and had resulted in you leaving your room at 1AM and making your way down to the gym in an attempt to make yourself feel strong again. To regain some control.

You were discovered by Steve a few hours later, who had only been woken up by a noise from the downstairs area and had found you on the floor, in tears. The man had somehow managed to calm you down and bring you back upstairs to your bed where he waited until you fell asleep before leaving.

“Thank you, Steve,” you said simply, blinking back tears as you let your head rest on his shoulder. Steve’s hand found yours as if on instinct, and with his comforting presence, you felt yourself begin to relax again.

“You should try and get some more sleep,” Steve suggested.

You shook your head. “I don’t think I can.”

“It’s okay. I’m here,” Steve reminded you. He understood your fears as well as anybody could, after all, he had nightmares, too. Hell, everybody in the tower did.

And if they could get through it, so could you.

Four

Steve was light and spry on his feet as he went through the motions of his daily workout, his heart racing, the endorphins being released making him feel exhilarated in the most satisfying way. His fist had just met the punching bag again when he heard a rowdy spell of laughter from the living room. Although he was curious, he tuned out the noise and continued on with his movements.

Then there was another outburst of laughter - this time louder than the last. Tilting his head to the right and listening closely, Steve easily picked out who the laughter belonged to - you, Wanda, and Natasha… and nothing good ever came out of that particular trio. He thought Natasha was bad but when he added you and Wanda to the mix, all three of you became instantly more spirited and mischievous.

Steve, whose curiosity was getting the better of him, made the decision then that he wouldn’t be able to get any more exercise done. Sighing, he began to unravel the boxing tape from around his hands when he heard you squeal Natasha’s name in shock.

“What the hell?” He muttered in bemusement.

Grabbing a towel and doing his best to wipe the sweat from his face, he made his way from the gym to the living room where three Avengers sat, two with amusement in their eyes and you with a blush covering your cheeks. Wanda was the first to notice his presence.

“Hi, Steve,” the girl grinned playfully.

“Wanda,” he acknowledged with a slightly apprehensive nod. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you were quick to answer.

“Just girl talk, Cap,” Natasha said, her gaze on the tablet in her hand that she continued to scroll through. “Nothing to worry about.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “I could hear you guys laughing all the way from the gym. Must have been some pretty funny girl talk.”

“Did we interrupt your workout?” You asked with a small frown as you finally turned to look at the man, your eyes widening just a fraction at the sweat on his skin. How could someone look that good while sweating?

Natasha and Wanda stifled their laughs.

“Don’t worry about it. I was almost finished anyway,” he said honestly. “And I like your laugh.”

“Aw, thanks, Steve,” Natasha joked, knowing full well his compliment wasn’t directed at her. “But you’re not my type.”

Both you and Steve rolled your eyes then, the latter coming to find a seat next to your little group.

“C’mon,” he said, “I’m intrigued.”

“The only thing you are is getting sweat all over the couch,” Natasha retorted.

“We’re looking at art,” Wanda said in an attempt to help ease the man’s confusion.

Steve nodded slowly, still not seeing how art could be so hilarious. “Okay… What kind of art?”

“Art made by fans… People who like us; the Avengers,” you shrugged, still slightly embarrassed by the last image you had been shown.

“Wow,” Steve said. “People make art of us?”

“Art, stories, a little of everything,” Wanda answered. “Some people are very talented.”

“We were just reading an interesting story about the two of you when you happened to show up,” Natasha smiled, gesturing between both you and Steve.

“Can I see it?” Steve asked.

“You really don’t want to -” Your protests were cut off by Natasha happily placing the tablet into the Captain’s hands. “Nat, don’t!”

Wanda reached out to grab your arms to stop you from ripping the tablet out of Steve’s hands and throwing it against the wall, which meant that all you could do was watch in embarrassment and horror as Steve’s blush deepened with the more he read of the piece of fiction.

Once he was finished, he quickly excused himself, stating that he needed to shower after his workout.

“I think he liked it,” Wanda laughed, prompting Natasha to laugh along even louder than before.

“I hate both of you.”

Five

“You know I could have paid for my own coffee, right?” You asked, shooting Steve a thankful smile as he returned to your table with two coffees in hand.

“That wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me though, would it?”

“I suppose not,” you replied, rolling your eyes good-naturedly while you ran your fingertip along the rim of your coffee cup. “It’s been weird having so much downtime recently, huh?”

Steve nodded in response as he sipped his own coffee. “It actually makes me a little uneasy at times. Like I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.”

“Yeah, me too,” you frowned. “I guess it’s because we’re not used to -”

You paused mid-sentence as a scream that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up was heard in the distance. “Did you hear that?”

“I heard it,” Steve replied, his eyes staring out the window of the café.

Both of your phones chimed then with identical messages from Tony stating that there was trouble at the tower and you were both needed ASAP. With one quick glance at each other, you had both forgotten about your coffees and were running out of the building and back towards the tower. Sometime during the run, Steve had grabbed your hand in order to help you keep up with his pace and with his assistance, you managed to arrive at the tower within a few minutes.

From your point on the ground, you could see a window on one of the top floors of the tower had been smashed and smoke was billowing out of it. A small part of your brain also registered Sam and Clint who were trying to evacuate the building and clear the streets.

“I’m gonna help the guys down here,” you decided quickly.

“I’ll grab my shield and see what the hell is going on up there,” Steve agreed, beginning to make his way to the tower’s entrance. He hesitated briefly before entering, turning to face you with a seriousness in his eyes. “Be careful.”

“You too, Captain.”

Six

“Does this look okay?” You muttered to yourself, turning your body to view yourself from various angles in the mirror. You smoothed the edges of your lilac laced dress down and squinted at your reflection in an attempt to find any imperfections.

“I’m sure you look wonderful, Agent,” said a disembodied voice, causing you to jump in fright.

“Damn it, FRIDAY,” you sighed, placing a hand over your racing heart. “I always forget you’re here… But thank you.”

Deciding to leave your bag in your room as you would only be a few floors down anyway, you gave yourself one last look in the mirror before making your way to the elevator; there was no way you were taking the stairs in heels, after all.

Before the elevator had even stopped at the correct floor, you could already hear the hustle and bustle of a good old-fashioned Tony Stark shindig and fondly rolled your eyes. It’s not that you hated Tony’s parties. In your opinion, they were just too loud. Too busy. The only reason you decided to make an appearance was that Tony was your friend… and because he threatened to lock you out of your room if you didn’t. That was a pretty good motivator.

You held your head high as you exited the elevator into the usual hustle and bustle of a Stark party, reminding yourself that you only had to stick it for an hour or two before you could sneakily retreat back to the comfort of your own room.

You passed by a lot of familiar faces as you walked around. Sam gave you a smile, raising his glass in greeting. Sharon told you she loved your hair. Tony thanked you for showing up and promised that your room was safe (for now). As much as you loved your friends, you soon decided that you needed a drink if you were to get through - you quickly glanced at your phone - another hour of drunken agents and Tony’s proud boasting. Settling down at the bar, you breathed a sigh of relief at the chance to rest your feet.

Natasha, who had decided to take a shift behind the bar, soon came over and began to wipe down the counter with a rag, cleaning up any spillages from previous customers.

“What can I get you?” she asked with a smirk.

“You look like the biggest bartender cliche right now,” you observed.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” the redhead shrugged casually. “Surprise?”

You nodded and a minute later, a perfectly made, albeit nameless, drink was sitting in front of you.

“I think this might be your best creation yet,” you told her after taking a huge gulp. “You have a gift, my friend.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s my best creation,” said Natasha. “I think that’s you.”

You raised a curious eyebrow. “And how exactly am I your creation?”

“I convinced you to wear that dress tonight, didn’t I? And let’s face it, you look hot. I have great taste.”

Self-consciously, you found yourself tugging the end of your dress down a little at Natasha’s words which caused her to roll her eyes.

“I’m serious,” she reached over the bar to give your arm a shove. “And I bet Cap here would agree with me.”

With furrowed brows, you followed her eyeline and glanced over your shoulder, right as Steve approached with an amused smile.

“What am I agreeing on?” He asked, leaning against the bar so he could easily see both of you. Natasha was quick to slide him a bottle of beer before he even had the chance to order. Nodding thankfully, he took a sip.

“Her dress is hot,” Natasha said simply with a nod towards you. “Yes or no?”

“Nat,” you groaned in embarrassment.

Steve swallowed his drink slowly, being extra careful not to choke like he almost had. He knew Natasha was blunt but she had admittedly taken him off guard. That’s what he gets for assuming they could just have a casual conversation, he supposed.

“Uh -”

“You don’t have to answer that,” you told him quickly. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Natasha smugly wander off to serve someone else.

“No, I want to!” Steve cringed at how eager he sounded. “I mean, I was already going to tell you - before Natasha… was Natasha, I guess…”

Steve sighed and you watched in bemusement as he struggled with his words.

“You look beautiful,” he settled on eventually. “I wanted to tell you when you first got here but I couldn’t seem to get away from a drunk Rhodey.”

A small smile spread across your lips then and you playfully replied. “You look pretty beautiful, too.”

This time, Steve did choke on his beer.

Seven

“Hurry up or we’re starting without you!”

“I said I’m coming!”

Who knew Avengers could be so impatient?

A frustrated sigh left your lips as you tugged a loose hoodie over your tired frame. Your fingers got tangled in your knotted hair in your attempt to tame your bedhead and you groaned, quickly grabbing your brush instead. Maybe taking a nap before your scheduled movie night with the team wasn’t the best idea but it’s not like you intended to oversleep.

“Your popcorn is getting cold and eaten!”

With a huff, you all but stormed out of your room, muttering under your breath about how you were going to kill Sam Wilson. You could probably get Bucky to help if you asked him nicely enough.

When you reached the living room, the opening credits were already rolling - you had missed the chance to vote on which movie you would be watching - and you squinted into the darkness of the room to find a free spot to sit.

“Get enough beauty sleep, princess?” Sam asked sarcastically.

“Seems like you could use some,” Bucky retorted on your behalf.

A chorus of “oooh”s came from the team, to which Sam told them to shut up and eat their food. It was then that you noticed the bowl of popcorn in his hands. He really had taken yours.

Stupid bird, you thought bitterly.

As everyone settled down again to watch the movie, a quiet voice came from your left.

“Hey,” said Steve with a gentle touch to your arm to alert you to his presence. “I saved you a seat.”

Sure enough, a free spot sat next to the super soldier while Peter sat on his other side. It wasn’t a big space but the kind gesture was enough to warm your heart. You noted that Steve tended to have that effect on you.

About 10 minutes into the movie, you had no idea what was happening because you were far too distracted by the warm presence sitting next to you while you were also shooting glares at Sam who happily munched away at what should have been your food. Your thoughts were broken when you felt a small movement and turned to see Steve offering you his own bowl of popcorn to share with him.

You decided then that Sam could keep your food.

Eight

There were dark circles under your eyes, your back ached from sitting for so long and you were pretty sure you were going to get carpal tunnel from all the writing you’d been doing but still, you persevered. A glance at the clock told you that it was close to midnight and you groaned, resigning yourself to another long, sleepless night.

The glamorous life of an Avenger.

You stood up, taking a quick break to refill your mug before placing yourself back in front of your laptop, ignoring how your eyes attempted to droop closed every few seconds. You were so focused on your task that you barely registered the footsteps behind you.

Steve had quietly padded out of his room to get a glass of water, cautious of making too much noise as most of the tower was asleep by now. Glass of water in hand, he turned to retreat back to bed when he noticed you - tired eyes, bushy hair - in the same spot he had left you a few hours ago. A frown immediately crossed the soldier’s face and he found his feet carrying him over to you before he could even really think about it.

A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder and you jumped a little at the sudden touch. Steve immediately held his hands up.

“Sorry,” he said gently. “I was trying not to startle you.”

“Epic fail,” you muttered causing Steve to chuckle quietly.

“What are you still doing up?”

“Working,” you said with a gesture to your screen which currently held 8 pages of a report for Fury. Just 4 more to go…

“You’ve been working on that since you came back this morning,” Steve observed. “You need to get some rest.”

“I can’t,” you argued. “This report is due in one day. It’s important.”

“You’re important, too,” he stated. “You can finish it tomorrow.”

You wanted to protest but when Steve reached over and shut your laptop (he saved the document first, of course), you felt a small sense of relief. Your shoulders slumped and you let out a quiet ‘thank you’.

Steve shook his head at how stubborn you had been - although a small smile remained - and offered you his arm to help pull you up from your chair. When you reached out to take your laptop, however, you were stopped by his hand on top of yours.

“Nope,” Steve said, tucking the laptop safely under his arm. “I’ll take this. You can have it back tomorrow when you’ve woken up after at least 8 hours sleep.”

“Sure thing, mother,” you replied, sluggishly allowing Steve to guide you to your room.

“It’s nice to see you still have enough energy left to sass me.”

“I’ll always have the energy for that, Rogers.”

Nine

To say your night had been a disaster would be an understatement. Why, oh why had you thought that going out with old school friends (acquaintances, really) would be a good idea? You hadn’t ever been that close to them but when they came into town, they had reached out so you figured ‘sure, why the hell not?’.

Now you knew why you should’ve said no.

You were currently stranded on the sidewalk outside of an obnoxiously loud club by yourself, your head thumped with the beginnings of a headache and you just knew that your feet would be hurting tomorrow. To add insult to injury, you were on the other side of town from the tower and didn’t have enough money left to get a taxi.

Pulling your phone out of your bag, you opened your contacts and called the first person that came to mind.

“Shouldn’t you be doing shots right about now?”

“Hello to you too, Captain,” you joked.

“Hi,” Steve replied and you swore you could hear the smile in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

“I guess so,” you shrugged despite the fact that he couldn’t see you. “I’m just about to leave.”

“Really? It’s still pretty early,” he replied. “Are you getting a cab?”

“I don’t have enough money,” you told him. “I’m just gonna walk.”

“What?”

You winced as his loud tone pierced through your skull and repeated yourself. “I’m going to walk.”

“You’re going to walk from the other side of town, tipsy, while it’s getting dark out?”

“Yes? I’ll be fine, I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, I’ve seen it, but I don’t like the idea,” There was a rustling sound on the other end of the phone as Steve moved around. “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

“Steve, you really don’t have to -”

“I’ll be there soon, okay? Don’t move.”

True to his word, Steve pulled up around 15 minutes later and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t relieved at the sight of him. When he unlocked the doors, you happily climbed into the car where Steve’s eyes did a subtle check on your appearance for any injuries before he started the journey back home.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened? he asked, his eyes never straying from the road ahead.

“They didn’t invite me out because they cared about me,” you explained. “They only cared about the Avengers.”

“How so?” Steve frowned.

“When I tried to talk about myself - outside of work, I mean - they kept redirecting their questions to the Avengers; how big the tower is, how much money we get paid… All that kind of bull,” you rolled your eyes as you rested your head against the window. “After being asked if Thor is single for the third time, I finally decided to leave.”

There was a pause in the conversation as Steve thought over what you had said.

“Well, the joke’s on them,” he finally decided.

“How so?”

“They were already hanging out with the best Avenger and they blew it.”

Ten

You had always told Steve that you would take a bullet for him but he wasn’t prepared when the day finally came. One minute, Steve was telling the team that the two of you had successfully downloaded the files and were on your way to the rendezvous point and the next, Steve was being pushed to the ground and you had a bullet wound in your shoulder.

Acting on instinct, Steve immediately took out the assailant he foolishly hadn’t seen coming and called out for emergency evac. He dropped to his knees and started to apply pressure over your wound, doing his best to ignore the whimpers that left your lips when he pressed a little too hard.

“It’s okay,” he told you. “You’re okay.”

“Hurts,” you managed to mutter through gritted teeth.

“I know,” Steve shushed you quietly. “But I’ve got you.”

Behind you, the quinjet touched down and Bucky rushed out to help.

“We need to get her to medical now!” Steve exclaimed. He didn’t have time to waste.

With hurried but careful movements, the pair carried you onto the jet and gently placed you on the floor where Steve placed his hands back over your wound. Natasha didn’t say a word and began to fly back to the base as quickly as she could.

“What do we do?” asked Bucky who felt like he was in a daze.

“Radio ahead,” said Steve. “Tell them we need doctors there the minute we touch the ground.”

While Bucky moved to the cockpit to contact the base, Steve continued to whisper gentle affirmations to you, telling you that you were doing great and that you would be okay soon; that he was getting help. He hoped that if he said it enough, he would be right. The sight of your blood on his hands almost made him sick to his stomach as you struggled to take deep breaths in order to slow down your heart rate. With blood, comes life. Without blood, comes death.

Steve refused to let that happen.

He couldn’t help but think about how wrong this all was. The shot you took was meant for him, after all. It shouldn’t be you that was experiencing the fiery pain of a bullet while you writhed on the ground. It should never be you.

“Almost there,” Natasha called out while she prepared to land safely.

“You hear that?” Steve gave you a weak smile. “We’re here.”

The ramp of the quinjet lowered and the familiar doctors were already there, just as Bucky had ordered. They raced into the jet and began to take you from Steve and place you on a stretcher for easier transportation. Your eyes felt heavy and your limbs felt weak. You knew you were close to passing out but reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm as tightly as you could. He looked down at the weak grip you had on his uniform in surprise.

“Don’t leave,” you croaked out.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, his heart clenching.

The scarlet blood that had once flowed through you, had kept you alive, was now dried and brown, coating Steve’s hands and arms. If he had bothered to look in a mirror, he would’ve seen a streak of it on his forehead too from where he had kept nervously running his fingers through his hair. But Steve didn’t care about that. He hadn’t moved from his spot in the medical wing since you had arrived hours ago.

The rest of the team sat with him, their faces somber and their minds racing. Nobody had heard from the doctors since they brought you in for surgery and everyone was beginning to fear the worst. It was approaching hour 6 when a doctor finally approached them and they all rose from their seats in anticipation.

“Well?” Tony was the first to speak. “How is she?”

“She’ll make it,” the doctor replied, knowing that was the main news they had been waiting for.

Sam and Natasha relaxed their stiff postures. Wanda almost burst into tears. Bucky felt like he could finally breathe again.

“We had to perform debridement to remove some shrapnel that was left behind but the bullet went through her pectoralis minor muscle and managed to avoid any arteries or nerves,” the doctor continued. “All things considered, she got lucky. If it had severed a brachial artery or hit the brachial plexus, she could’ve bled out or lost all function in her arm.”

“Can we see her?” Steve asked, not wanting to hear anything about how much worse it could’ve been.

“She’s awake but drowsy, and obviously in a lot of pain,” she responded. “As long as you don’t crowd her, I don’t see why you can’t visit her for a little while.”

Tony thanked the doctor before she left and the team took a minute to let the news sink in. You were okay.

“I’m thinking of giving that doc a pay rise,” Tony commented, causing the group to smile for the first time since the accident.

“Why don’t you go first, Steve?” Although Bucky desperately wanted to see you, he knew that Steve should be the one to do it first. “I’m sure you guys have some things you want to talk about.”

When nobody objected to the idea, Steve nodded and nervously made his way to your room. Exhaling slowly, he pushed open your door and faltered at the sight of you. You had always been shorter than him but seeing you lying in the hospital bed with a bandage covering your shoulder and part of your chest, you looked so… small.

Steve approached your bed and lowered himself into the chair they had placed next to you. When you took in his appearance, you frowned and carefully lifted your good hand to brush your fingers over a cut placed above his eyebrow.

“Are you okay?”

Your voice was quiet but Steve heard it clear as day and choked out a laugh, the tears building in his eyes threatening to fall.

“You just got shot and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

“I worry,” you said simply.

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat and gently took your smaller hand in his. The blood on his hands contrasted harshly with the whiteness of the room.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “You shouldn’t have been the one to get hit.”

“It was either you or me,” you attempted to shrug but quickly stopped when the now-familiar pain shot through you. “It was an easy decision to make.”

“I’ll be with you through all of it,” he promised. “While you’re recovering, I’ll be here. Whatever you need, just say the word.”

“I think your presence is enough,” you smiled.

“Today was the closest I’ve ever come to losing you,” Steve began to brush his thumb across the back of your hand. “I was terrified. The thought of never being able to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” you asked when it became clear that he wasn’t going to finish.

“You should get some sleep.”

“Steve.” Despite the trauma you’d been through, your voice was firm. You gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “Talk to me.”

He shook his head in response, seemingly at war with himself over what to do. You didn’t want to rush him and allowed him the time he needed to think. Your hands remained joined together, both providing the other with the comfort they needed.

You weren’t sure how long the silence lasted but when Steve finally spoke, his voice seemed stronger than you’d ever heard it before.

“I love you.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #marvel imagine #i wrote 70% of this AAAAAAGES ago #and then remembered about it and finished it the last few days #mine

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