#thanks for the well wishes on my last post guys i survived!!! unfortunately part of the stress has carried on to next week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saintobio · 4 years ago

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wastelands. (3)

↳ suna rintarou x f!reader

summary: after a viral pandemic wiped out half of the world’s population, a group of abandoned young adults embark on a life-threatening journey in hopes of finding a safe permanent home. unfortunately, for you and Rin, love is only a temporary option.

genre: heavy angst, unrequited, post apocalypse au, 18+

cw: profanity, infectious diseases, suggestive, suicidal thoughts

notes: hey guys, thanks for all the feedback for wastelands and i’m sorry for the delay. i created a playlist for this series. enjoy!

series masterlist -> part four

You could tell Aran was curious about you and Suna.

Since the Hummer was cramped with six people inside, on top of the supplies and ammunition, you were left with no choice but to sit on Suna’s lap throughout the car ride. Perhaps Aran was thinking, why sit on Rin instead of the others? Well, you weren’t particularly sure if he even had any idea that you’ve had a hopeless infatuation for Rintarou since high school. You’ve never talked to Aran back then—you knew little about him and he knew just enough about you. On the other hand, he knew Sophia so well and he was aware that she was the girlfriend of the guy you were sitting on.

So, who were you again? Why were you with Rin? What exactly was your position in his life?

You wished you had the answer to his questioning gaze. Unfortunately, you didn’t even expect that you would find yourself being with Suna since the apocalypse began. No one expected that the zombie outbreak would happen in the first place, but to see yourself being with the guy you’ve been in love with for years was almost like a twist of fate. You two have been in this journey for three months and every single day you spent with him only allowed your feelings to grow 10x deeper.

The sleepless nights, the long and tedious travels, the desperation to survive. You and Suna went through all those hardships together. You’ve been accustomed to his daily routines that it was now even more difficult to retreat back to your safe space because there was no way you could love Rin any less. Especially not when he saved your life and was still continuously saving it throughout this journey to nowhere.

But this journey in itself must lead to somewhere, and for you, that was to see your little brother. You couldn’t stand the thought that the camp in Osaka had been infiltrated by those carnivorous zombies. Asher was in Osaka and it was your last hope of finding him, but with the news of the camp being gone, you were deeply perturbed. Has the only family member you had left died, too?

Asking Aran was the only way to know. “Aran,” you spoke, guardedly, “I don’t know if you know who my brother is but he was taken to camp and I’m just... I wanna know if he’s—”

��Asher?” he responded from the other side of the three-seater backseat, “Yeah, I l know that kid. He’s alive, one of the few that got rescued out of Osaka.”

The sigh of relief and the release of the heavy weight on your heart was a cosmic feeling. Just the idea of Asher being alive and the hope of seeing him again made you utter a chain of ‘thank God’s. You received Osamu’s comforting smile at the fact the little brother you’ve been wanting to see was still somewhere across Japan waiting for you. That was enough to feel at ease, at least for now.

However, looking at Suna was a different story. A different feeling. His eyes were shut since the car ride and it was because he was thinking about Sophia and what Aran had just told him awhile ago. While you had the reassurance that Asher was alive, he didn’t receive the same thing for Sophia. Sophia could be dead. Not even Aran knew what had become her fate, and even more, the last words she said about Rin must have crushed him inside.

The other guys had now shifted to a conversation about traveling from Osaka to Aichi because Aran’s uncle lived in a gated community that he believed was ‘zombie-less’ when they last talked over the phone. It was only a 2-hour and 30-minute drive so Kita had no complaints about Atsumu being the designated driver.

In your little space, you placed a hand on Suna’s cheek as an attempt to comfort him. His fox eyes opened for a brief moment before he closed them again, pulling you close so you could press your forehead against his. His hand rubbed gentle circles on your hip before you completely rested your head on his shoulder. It’ll be okay, Rin. You wanted to tell him. He wasn’t in the mood to talk and you respected it by simply being his temporary comfort, as you always were and always would be.

It turned out that Aran was right about the gated community being zombieless. All the other places you’ve passed throughout this journey were left with nothing but the after-effects of the outbreak that caused wreckage all over the country. But here, it seemed to be a completely different situation as if you’ve been transported to another dimension. Except, the dimension was just in the richest neighborhood in the Aichi prefecture. You’ve managed to encounter a few Z1s and Z2s before reaching the destination of course, but with the help of Suna and Osamu’s gun-shooting skills, you were able to pass through the swarm of the voracious living dead. Atsumu also ran over some of the Zs that blocked the highway and the prick was even laughing while doing so.

For now, you’ve arrived the premier gated community and there was no malodorous atmosphere surrounding the place. No traces of zombie invasion, no vestiges of chaos. You were glad that your nose could rest from the pungent air quality that you’ve had to breathe in for the past three months. Surprisingly, while the air here was not reeking with the odor of deceased individuals, there were also no presence of any living human in the neighborhood. Houses were vacant, cars were left in their garage, everything was empty and eerie in a way. You could compare it to horror movies when you take a wrong turn only to end up being massacred. Final Destination? Nightmare in Elm Street? The lack of human presence triggered goosebumps that scurried up your arms and crawled along your neck. No, World War Z.

“Damn, ‘ya sure this place is z-less?” asked Atsumu who was slowly maneuvering the truck around the street.

Aran pointed towards his uncle’s house not far from where the Hummer was before answering, “All residents were rescued and sent to Okinawa. It’s more of a rich people advantage. They were the first ones rescued. My uncle told me they’re all safe there.”

“Fuck rich people, bro.”

And yet, all six of you were benefiting from the absence of the residents by living in their abandoned mansions. Water and electricity were running, beds were comfortable to sleep in, and the streets weren’t infested with Zs. It was too good to be true and you were a hundred percent certain that this place would be your temporary address for the time being because the guys were sprinting like a bunch of excited kids on their first day as soon as you reached the house.

Atsumu called dibs on the master bedroom out of all the three other rooms in the house. You weren’t sure which room Suna was planning to sleep in but you were afraid to talk to him since he was still not in the right headspace for any human interaction right now. So instead, all of you focused on settling yourselves inside the classic style suburban home which would be your short-term sanctuary away from destruction.

The room you’ve chosen to stay in for the meantime seemed to have been owned by Aran’s uncle’s teenage daughter. Under the sunset that struck passed through her transparent glass windows, you sat on the double-sized bed. The purple blanket matched the violet-themed bedroom that appeared to have been untouched since they left. Everything in her room was a shade of her favorite color. Despite the place not being your own home, being inside the said place reminded you of the home that you grew up in back in Hyogo. Your eyes found the ceiling, thinking of your late mom and dad, thinking of how you killed them by your own hands when they tried to corner a traumatized and sobbing Asher in his room. Because the virus had spread into their brain, they failed to recognize their own children and simply saw you two as human meat. Raw livestock.

Air entered your lungs with a deep inhale that you later released into a heavy sigh. It was 5PM. When you went downstairs, Atsumu was pestering Osamu and Kita in the kitchen who were both busy trying to prepare actual food for the first time in three months. An actual home-cooked meal. The smell of miso filled your nostrils and almost earned a growl from your hungry stomach. Your eyes searched the place and saw that Aran was on the living room but Suna was nowhere to be found.

And before you could ask about the missing guy, Kita had already noticed your arrival in the kitchen. “We can actually eat real food tonight, Y/N,” he informed with a gentle smile, helping the better twin around in cutting vegetables. Miso Ramen was tonight’s supper.

“It smells so good,” you replied, sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen island. You nearly forgot how good of a cook Osamu was. “I think I’m gonna eat a lot for dinner.”

The grey-haired twin chuckled, “You better. I’ll cook good food.”

RULE 8: Eat healthy food whenever possible

Suddenly, the blond twin brought up a new topic as he sat next to you. “With the amount of people that died, do you think there’s some kinda heavy traffic in heaven?” he asked seriously, even tilting his head in curiosity. “And do you think they take an elevator in heaven for those don’t wanna take the stairs? Maybe the nice ones get to have VIP privilege or something.”

God. Atsumu and his theories.

“Don’t bother asking. You’re going to hell, anyway,” Osamu retorted in a blank expression that had you and Kita chuckling.

In a few minutes, Aran joined the rest of you with a hand patting Atsumu’s back. “How about an actual useful information?” he started, settling to the stool next to the blond. “During my time at the camp, they told us things about the virus. Apparently, it takes eight full hours for someone to turn into a zombie—”

“Yo, we call them Zs,” Atsumu interrupted, “alright, continue...”

You propped an elbow and listened to Aran as he proceeded to speak, “Okay, a Z. So, from the initial bite, the infection will spread to the host’s brain in eight hours. Within those eight hours, they may still act as human as they can even if their body and their appearance are slowly disintegrating. They said it’s better to kill the host without waiting for them to turn, at least out of mercy.”

Jesus. How has the world come to this? Was this perhaps a payment for human sins? The second coming of Christ? The fact that humanity was wiped out by a single virus that didn’t even seem that serious in the beginning was mind-blowing. Three years ago everything was fine, you could handle the home quarantine, the constant mask-wearing, the social distancing—2020 was where it all began. Everything was manageable and the hope for vaccines were quite positive.

Now, the Earth was silenced and depopulated by an unexpected fast decrease. Only 10% of the world’s population was left, that was what all of you believed. The virus had mutated due to the carelessness of other humans and now you were at a point in time where you had no idea how long you would live to see the next sunrise.

“That’s crazy,” Osamu muttered, shaking his head. “I didn’t see this coming at all.”

Kita shrugged, outwardly sullen. “Who did? We’re lucky to even be here while the rest of our family couldn’t. Life’s a cycle.”

Aran agreed with a nod before he warily looked around the house. “We’re lucky for now, but we need to barricade the windows. Who knows if any Zs would come get us in our sleep?”

Shit. He’s right. Even if the place had no trace of zombie presence, there was no guarantee that it could stay that way for long. Almost every place in Japan had Zs and you haven’t even encountered all possible classes. The Z3s were rare but they were still somewhere. Only time could tell when you would encounter another deadly type and that was fucking scary.

As your eyes lay on the empty glass in deep thought, footsteps coming from your left made you cock your head to the direction of the sound to see Suna descending from the stairs. His face was expressionless, giving nothing away.

“Rin?” you called, but he ignored all of you and headed out of the door as if no one else in this cruel world existed apart from him. The look Osamu sent you was meant to warn that Suna was still evidently affected by the whole Sophia situation and that you should simply let him be.

But you couldn’t really just stay there and allow him to sulk alone. You wanted him to yearn for comfort through you because you hated seeing him like this. His pain was yours. His smile was yours, too.

Before you knew it, your feet already carried you towards the said guy as you followed him out of the house to see him stopping at the front porch with a cigarette pack in hand. He withdrew a stick out before carelessly tossing the empty carton to the ground, lighting the rod with his nearly-empty lighter.

“Sunarin,” you spoke affectionately, standing on the pavement next to him. He barely looked at you as he took a long drag from the filter. “How are you feeling?”

Smoke escaped his lips with a blow. “Fine.”

You didn’t know what gave you the courage to wrap your arms around his waist but he didn’t push you away either. Instead, he stepped down on the pavement so he could face you and have you wrap your arms around his neck. Chest to chest, nose to nose. His lonely amber eyes searched yours while you ran your fingers through his middle-parted hair. You loved this guy so much that your heart always raced whenever you were only inches away from him. “Wanna talk about it?”

He hesitated, keeping the cigarette between his lips until you snatched the stick from him to take a drag. “Hey!” he bleated, pulling the cigarette back as vapor crawled out of your lips, “where the hell did you learn how to smoke?”

You locked your arms back around his neck, his hands secured on your waists. “From Haru.”

Suna’s eyes then glinted of intrigue at the mere mention of the guy’s name. You watched how he inhaled on the cigarette stick for one last time before throwing it to the floor, fox eyes unhappily narrowing at you. “Haru as in tall, tattooed, bad boy Haru? As in quarterback Haru who dated sexy cheerleader Naori?”

“For clarification,” you cleared up, “they broke up before we dated.”

“You fuckin’ dated him?” Suna’s face became oddly rigid just as his hold on your waist got tighter. His fingertips dug deep on your curve while his jaws clenched in restraint. You didn’t expect that he would react in such a way. “How long did you date him, huh? He’s your first, isn’t he? Did you love him?”

You were surprised at the influx of questions he was asking you, “I mean, we only dated for four months and—”

“How did he pursue you?” His eyes were sternly glued on you. “I fucking knew he liked you. Do you still talk?”

“Rin, Haru’s probably dead by now. It doesn’t matter,” you reasoned, placing a hand on his cheek to run your thumb on his skin.

You and Haru only dated for the same thing—he wanted to get over Naori while you wanted to get over Suna. It happened back when you were 16 when Rin started dating Sophia and you wanted to find another guy to distract the unreasonable void in your heart. It was never really serious between you and Haru but you couldn’t deny that he wasn’t a bad boyfriend either. In fact, he was very respectful and he showed some genuine care towards you even in your brief time together.

On the flip side, Suna’s eyebrows only furrowed more. “You still think about him?”

Honestly. His questions were making you think that he was jealous, but that couldn’t be the case if he was in love with someone else. The reaction he was giving was perhaps just out of plain surprise. As such, who would have thought that a plain girl like you could land a freaking quarterback? “I don’t think about him, Rin. Not as much as I think of you.”

Or perhaps he was just annoyed at the thought that you became attracted to other guys at some point in your life when all this time, he believed that he was the only guy you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Well, that was fucking unfair when he chose to be with Sophia instead of ever trying to pursue you.

“I can’t believe you dated that toolbag,” he muttered, averting his eyes in annoyance. Hands now in his pockets.

You withdrew your arms in return. “I can’t believe you dated Sophia, either.” When you realized how wrong it sounded, you decided to add, “I know Sophia’s gorgeous and all but I’ve always been curious on how you two started dating. You were like everyone’s favorite campus couple.”

Strangely, Suna’s face shifted into grimness as he hung his head back with eyes looking up at the mixture of pink and orange horizon that adorned the skies. “It only looks like that in the surface but we’re actually on and off,” he admitted, much to your surprise. You could feel his chest rising from under his black hoodie. “We fought a lot throughout our four years together, but even then, I love her. I appreciate her. She’s both a best friend and a girlfriend to me.”

His words felt like a punch on the gut. A hard one. The pang of jealousy and pain left you swallowing the weakness on your throat. As much as you refused to be a masochist, your curiosity won you better, “How did you come to like her? How did it all start?”

As you prepared for him to speak, he instead pulled out a small black leather wallet from his pocket and drew out what seemed like a folded paper. “Letters. This is one of them.”

“Letters?” You carefully grabbed the paper that he handed you and unfolded the creased piece of sheet that he appeared to have kept with him for years. A love letter. Upon opening it, your eyes grew wide at the familiar handwriting that decorated the sheet. The beat of your heart quickened exponentially as you read through. “This...”

Dear Rin,

I’m sorry if I’m writing to you again but I just thought I should let you know how much you make me smile with the little glimpse I see of you each day. Maybe someday, I’ll have the courage to speak to you and tell you these words from my own mouth, but I’ll save that for later (sorry!). I’m just not ready to confess so I’m writing my feelings down to send my affection for you, even if it’s anonymously. I really think you’re one of the cutest guys I’ve ever seen. Yes, most of the time, you’re stoic. But that’s what makes seeing your million dollar smile even more worth it. I hope to see more of it soon. Please treat this day with a smile and don’t forget to eat your meals on time.

Love,

This old letter was from you. Not from Sophia.

But a smile had spread on Rintarou’s lips while he recalled the memory, “Sophomore year, I received a lot of those. Probably around fifty—I always find new ones in my locker every single day and they’re all from the same person. There’s no specific name in those letters but I always read them before class and... they just make me smile, you know? I liked the effort and I think it was sweet that someone was writing those for me. I even made it a goal to find the person behind those letters and make her my girlfriend.” He blinked at the sky in happy reminiscence. “Then, one day Sophia confirmed to me that they were from her. We just got along from then on.”

You didn’t know which emotion you should feel, whether it was anger, betrayal, heartbreak, but you simply could not believe that Sophia lied about this. About something that was important to you. You spent sleepless nights writing those letters for Rin only to be stolen of the chance of ever dating the guy you loved since you were 14. It felt unfair, unjust. Tears pricked your eyes but you blinked them away because god fucking damn you resented the idea that Suna could have dated you if Sophia didn’t take your chances away.

“She’s romantic, huh?” The gleam of love was back in Rintarou’s eyes while yours were filled with anguish. The letters aren’t from her!

“Rin, th-this letter’s...” What was more painful than admitting the truth to him was the possibility that the smile on his angelic face would fade if you did tell him that the letters were from you. His disappointment and disbelief might wreck you a hundred times worse than just sticking by what he knew.

He gently took the letter back and folded it with care. “I’ll be real with you, I don’t think she’s still alive but I like holding on to the thought of seeing her again. It gives me purpose.”

Another wave of pain seared through your veins. “Do you plan to hold onto that hope forever?” The sound of your deep, but even breathing filled the air. “What does that make me?”

He had no answer, but panic broke his love-filled daze. “You know what you are to me, angel.”

“Do you think...” You sniffed, refusing to let tears pool your eyes, “do you think it can change? You and me. You’ve been with me for nearly four months now, Rin. Is there ever a chance?”

You were pathetic for asking this question but there was no face to save when you had always unmasked your true feelings for him since the apocalypse began. He knew about your unrequited love from way back high school since your classmates would always tease you around him, but Sophia would always be his first choice. You were not even a close second.

“Just always stay by my side for now, Y/N.” He looked away, staring back at the horizon. “Give me some time to heal and then I’ll give you an answer.”

Give him time, he said. Were your 7 years of pining him not enough?

You’ve had your temporary break from the heartache when you had dinner that night. With the loss of your families, sharing a nice meal in a dinner table with people who experienced the same loneliness as you was somehow comforting. The food was great and you found solace from their company. You were all orphans after all. As much as you constantly forgot that being with them wasn’t just some kind of a getaway, you were happy that you were brought along to this particular group of people.

They were fun to be with and you were thankful that you could still smile even in this specific period of your life.

Funnily enough, the guys found out that there was a PS5 in the living room and Atsumu had the ‘brilliant’ idea of playing Resident Evil to practice his zombie-killing skills and further push his simulation theory. Aran was nice enough to play along with him despite the ridiculousness of his the blond’s proposal because neither Osamu nor Kita could stand him. Other than that, you happened to have spilled his last pack of M&Ms and he made a childish tantrum over it.

Atsumu was your personal comic relief from all the suffering in your heart. So even if he could get extremely annoying at times, you appreciated his presence alone. The same goes for the caring Osamu, the thoughtful Kita, and now the helpful Aran. However, if not for Rin, you would have been dead. He saved your life and there was no way else around it. You were grateful for him in the same way you loved him. He was a vital part of your life that you couldn’t ever let go of.

You would do everything for him. You would give everything for him.

Perhaps it was why you found yourself captive from his way of expressing his desire towards you. Physical comfort was where you and Suna met each other’s needs. It was the only way to get closer to him and you no longer held back because you weren’t even certain if you would still be alive the next morning.

At least, you got to make love with the boy you were in love with.

“Y/N...” Nails clawing on your hips, you pressed your palms against the tiled walls as droplets of water from the shower fell on your body. “F-Fuck, I’m gonna cum...”

You restrained the hum from your clasped lips with each deep thrust that Suna was sending from behind. His hand found its way to grab hold on your ass with continuous pounding that sent you to ecstasy. It wasn’t just the friction from his cock to your cunt that was sending you over the edge—it was the connection between him and you when you were having sex that made you forget just how much he loved someone else.

He uttered a guttural moan despite your silence and never took a pause from pleasuring himself through you. “Does that feel good?” he breathily asked, pulling you by your arm as your back arched into a C. The sound of his hips slamming against yours echoed through the bathroom.

You were quick to nod and still had chosen to return a similar question he asked from the other night. How does it feel to fuck your crush?

For you, the question was, “H-How does it feel to fuck someone you don’t like, Rin?”

It was petty, but you were hurting and he knew that. He realized how much it hurt you when he talked about his one true love as if you didn’t have feelings for him at all. What he wasn’t aware of was how angry you were at Sophia for claiming the letters that you wrote, but was it worth it to still let him know? You couldn’t change his mind either way. 4 years with Sophia could never amount the same to his 3 months with you.

His hot breath tickled your spine before he planted a kiss on it. “Never done it.”

“Darling, can you take this back to your Aunt Emi?”

Your mom stands in front of you with a cookbook in hand as she wipes her other hand on her apron. The sweet aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies has you inhaling deeply. “Mom, just ask Asher. Why me?”

Your 9-year old brother mischievously grins from the kitchen island. “Mama, Y/N-neechan doesn’t want to go there ‘cause she’s gonna see—”

“Shut up,” you cut him off, placing a cookie on your brother’s mouth. “That’s not true! You’re the one crushing on Rumiko.”

Your mom simply smiles, following a shake of her head. “Rintarou won’t mind seeing you either, honey. Come on, just return this for me, okay? Don’t forget to thank his mom.”

Even through your countless whines, there is nothing you can do to change your mom’s mind so you just drag Asher with you when you walk towards the Suna residence, ringing the doorbell with a fast heartbeat and a teasing little brother sticking his tongue at you.

Who’s gonna answer the door? Is it Rin?

“Hey.” Yes, it is him. “What’s up?”

You meekly hand the book over, which he takes from you. “Um, my mom wants to return this. Please thank Auntie for us.”

Rin’s fox eyes show a glint of amusement, leaning by the door with a look of intent on your blushing face. “Why are you so nervous?”

Asher teasingly laughs before you can come up with a response, “Ha, it’s because she’s—”

“Asher?” The girly voice comes from behind Rintarou where little Rumiko peeks at Asher. Suddenly, your brother falls silent that you and Rin share a chuckle. Puppy love is probably the cutest thing in the world.

You gently kick Asher’s leg until he gives Rumiko the box of cookies that your mom made before your brother runs behind you. “Rumi-chan, my mama said you should eat those.”

“Thank you...” Rumiko hugs the box, looking at Asher and then up at you. “Y/N-neechan, do you like my brother?”

Your eyes widen as Rin pats his sister’s head. “Oi, Rumi,” he scolds, “don’t ask people those questions.”

The little girl glares at her brother, “But you said you broke up with—”

“Rumi!” Rin hushes in immediate panic.

You take this as a sign to finally excuse yourself before the awkwardness can kill you. “Uh, I guess we should go. Please tell Aunt Emi my mom said thank you.”

Nightmares about zombies. Dreams about your old life before the apocalypse.

It was either of those two that gets you waking up in the middle of the night with a harsh pull out of your slumber. Survivors of the outbreak had to deal with the trauma from witnessing deaths of their loved ones left and right, from trying to kill ghastly zombies every now and then, and from doing your best to survive each day even if you had no more food left to fill your stomach. Nothing was scarier than the thought of your human life not being guaranteed safe in an apocalyptic world like this.

The dream about your mom and brother was etched into your mind like vivid photos stored in your deepest memories. They were painted in your head so you could never forget them even if your parents no longer existed in this world and even if Asher was far away from you. You couldn’t stop the heavy rise and fall of your chest as your heart was crawling out of you to escape the torment that it was constantly receiving.

Last night, you dreamt about your dad. Today, it was your mom, Asher, and little Rumiko.

Rumiko was Rin’s sister who died mercilessly after she was feasted on by Zs and he had to watch it with his own eyes. Not only did you hurt for Suna, but you also hurt for Asher. He was too young to experience the heartbreak of permanently losing the person he liked. It was such a cruel and torturous feeling to endure because his brain has yet to understand to concept of dying. Children like Asher lived for the moment because they were young and they had a long future ahead of them, but for all of those to be taken in away in a snap was just plain sickening.

You weren’t surprised that some people had chosen to end their own lives instead of living a depressive life in a war against the undead. There was no point in living if everyone around you has died.

“You okay?” You heard Suna’s worried voice as he pulled you to his chest with gentle strokes on your hair. “I had a dream, too.”

The digital clock from the bedside table showed that it was 3:10 AM. Just like you, Suna had to experience a dream that must have crushed him twice as much as you. He had no one else left. His parents, his little sister that he loved so much—gone. Sometimes, even if he was unknowingly hurtful towards you, you had to understand where his pain was coming from.

“I dreamt about Rumiko,” you spoke after awhile, scooting closer to his chest to engulf yourself in his warmth. The image of his little sister was still fresh from your mind.

His fingers traced your bare shoulder. Only his silhouette was visible. “Rumi thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the world. She always tells me that.”

Your heart sank. “I’m so broken, Rin.” Peeking at his saddened face, you felt warm tears running down from the corner of your eyes. “She’s too young.”

When he embraced you tight and let you sink your face on the crook of his neck, you realized that he did this so he could cry. He wanted to cry without being seen. He wanted to be vulnerable for once. “I didn’t get to save her. I’ve never felt so useless.”

The tone in his voice, the very pain in it, made you press your lips against his cheek. “You did your best.” You settled back on his chest. “I almost died saving Asher just so he could run towards the military vehicle while I was stuck in the house. It’s a gamble, Rin. Not everyone was going to survive. I was just lucky because of you.”

“Saving one but losing another,” his voice fell an octave deeper, “this shit is inhuman. Sometimes I wanna just give up and kill myself. It’s easy when you have a gun in your hand, you know? A shot in the head could end this suffering. There are days I just wanna go for it. I don’t have anyone left.”

You have me.

“R-Rin,” you silently weeped because you were hurting for him, “Please... don’t ever think of doing that, p-please... You have to live.” Tears gushed out of your eyes uncontrollably. “For Sophia. You said she gives you hope, so think about her. If she’s alive, you’re gonna miss the chance of seeing her again.”

This was another form of torture in itself to comfort the guy you love by reminding him of the girl he loved. Although it wrecked you into broken pieces, it was the only way to help Suna out of his suicidal thoughts. The thought of Sophia was the only thing that gave him purpose in this world. If thinking about her kept him from ever harming himself, you were willing to go through the pain because this was the boy you’ve loved and would continue to love endlessly.

As your tears left his shoulder damp, he raised a pinky finger towards you and urged you to loop yours around it. “I promise I’ll help you find Asher.”

You sealed his promise with a pinky coiled around his. Hollow heart remaining unfilled. “I promise I’ll help you find Sophia.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

general taglist: @x-cloudyyyy @iwazubean @cottonheadedninnymugggins @centvry @kageyamakock @sunnsettee @bluesylveon2 @tsukkisfatsimp @cuddlesslut @mysteriousparker @asdfghjkl7things @02hhsailor @anejuuuuoy @minswags-posts @chemnerdkuroo @misssugarless @deeznutss @tanakax123 @oikawa-bubs @lust4keiji @black-kuroover @stel9 @tsumuuwu @daylghits @semibaby @crescenttooru @ems1des @the-golden-jhope @wonyoschubs @bakus-stuff @melty-kisses @softy-woo @dekuspet @kittycatkrissa

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#suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou x you #suna rintarou angst #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu angst #post apocalypse #post apocalyptic

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maria-akira · 4 years ago

Text

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years ago

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 20: Second Assist

Characters: Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson, Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters

Summary: Shane reunites with friends and family, hashes out some feelings, and gets real with Sy. Can their relationship survive her trauma? And the threat that still looms above them?

Romance and Smut Abound HERE!

Word Count: 4500

Warnings: Mention of rape, alcoholic beverages, violent imagery…feels out the butt.

Author’s Note: You guys are so splendid and beautiful! I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement to finish this piece. First, welcome to new readers! I know poor Henry’s injury and subsequent physiotherapy has driven some of you here, and while I’m sorry for him, I’m glad I can consider myself something of a pioneer in this particular genre and provide you some help for your newfound thirst. To my OG readers, it is to you I owe this entire work, parts written and incomplete, and I hope an eventual book deal. I mean to mention you in my acknowledgements, should this ever reach a willing publisher. You’ve inspired me so supremely that I cannot quantify it, even with the words I hold so dear.

Since my last chapter was posted, we’ve said a relieved goodbye to 2020 and a tentative hello to 2021. To be honest, this year has started out worse than last year. Lots of bad weather in my area this winter, my sister is currently on her way to a new life in another state, and my grandmother, the last grandparent I had, passed away in February. Those last two things have been especially difficult to shake off and recover from, both coming to fruition pretty suddenly. Amongst all that, I’ve been pretty distracted by my other fandoms, especially Marvel, and I’ve been reading a killer book series that I’m utterly in love with. (The Throne of Glass novels by Sarah J. Maas. 10/10 recommend.) But I knew I needed to get back into Shane and Sy’s story, especially given the new and rekindled interest in the subject matter. In all honesty, I’ve had most of it written for months. It’s just been a matter of finishing it off to set up the rest of the story.

I really hope you all enjoy Chapter 20, Second Assist, and would love your feedback and notes. You are all so important to this story, and your notes, reblogs, and comments are cherished. Thank you so much for reading! Love from Hannah!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. This is an original work by me, Hannah. Please reblog if you wish to share. Please do not repost either in whole or part, as the work of anyone but myself. Thanks so much for reading!

Tags:

@onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive @summersong69 @titty-teetee @bloodyinspiredfuck @agniavateira@oddsnendsfanfics @omgkatinka @thisismysecretthirstblog @speakerforthedead0 @tumblnewby @suavechops @radkesgirl83 @wheretheriversrunintothesea @heartfelt-pen @auds24 @geekycanuck @lunarstarknight @wilma-g @coldmuffinbanditshoe @feralrunaway @sugarpenchant @bichibibi @mzchievous-blog @shesakillerkween @madbadidc7ed @foodieforthoughts @toomanyfandomsshreya @oqueequesentes-borboletas @kebabgirl67 @indigosaurus (some of you new readers didn’t ask, but I took the liberty. If you want me to remove you, I totally will without hard feelings.)

If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Shane woke in her warm bed, late morning sun streaming in through her sheer curtains, the heavier drapes parted to let in the light. She wished she'd remembered to close them before now. She really was not ready to be awake.

She was sore. Achy. Her sleep had been fitful and full of shadowy nightmares and muffled screams. Beyond that, she didn't try to remember images or events. She knew the general premise of the dreams. It would take a lot of time, effort, or a miracle to make her forget those traumas she'd been through in the last week. Not even forget. She knew she never would. But move on from them. Accept them. And heal from them…even that seemed a mighty obstacle. One she was not sure she could surmount.

Through the open bedroom door, she could hear Lynyrd Skynyrd and the clanging and sizzling of pans, and she could smell bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Sy had left the room, but had not, it seemed, gone far. She gingerly sat up, stood from the bed, and donned her robe as she walked out into the hall and down the corridor to the kitchen.

The sight before her warmed her heart. There was Sy. In only his boxers, daringly frying the notoriously dangerous breakfast meat. Upon her entry to the kitchen, she could also smell pancakes, and she thought syrup, as well. He seemed to be warming a bottle of the maple unction in a pot of hot water. He turned as she stepped on a squeaky floorboard, and grinned widely at her.

"Mornin' sunshine." And she was struck by the irony of someone with such a radiant smile calling her sunshine. Especially when she didn't feel much like beaming. But she couldn't help return the expression, even through her pain.

"Mornin' bear. Did you go to the store?" She knew she couldn't have any bacon in her fridge, and she doubted her eggs and milk were still good at this point. But she also couldn't think that he would leave her for any reason.

"Nah, some of the guys brought over some provisions. Matt worked on your car all night, too, and filled up the tank. It's as good as new. He and Nate brought ‘er over as well as the groceries. I just had ‘em get stuff I knew your family wouldn't be bringing later. They've had tons of food given to them this week, and they're ready to share. You should have seen your mom loading me down with sandwiches and chips and whatnot when I visited them."

"I still can't believe you met them. I really wanted to introduce you personally." Shane's face fell. She would never be able to get that back. She wanted to cry. Sy had poured her a cup of coffee and sat it in front of her with her favorite creamer.

"Darlin' I’m so sorry. I had to talk to them."

"I know." she sniffed. "I'm not mad. Not at you. Just…"she didn't want to say Elliott's name. "I'm disappointed that the experience was stolen from me." That so many things had been stolen from her. By that monster. There was no other way to describe him. Sy growled. As if he could read her mind. He really just knew her well enough and shared her thoughts.

"Well, don't worry, we'll have a nice dinner with them one of these days, and we can pretend. Sound good?"

"Yeah, and I can feign nervousness." she laughed.

"And I'll pretend too. That I'm scared to meet your dad." he chuckled. "What if he threatens me with his shotgun?"

"I'll pull the ol' 'Daddy, no, I loooooove him!' line, as I throw myself between you!"

"That oughta work." he laughed and kissed her on the forehead as he stepped toward the stove and flipped a pancake.

As they sat eating their late breakfast, Shane's mind wandered. Nothing had changed on the surface, but everything was different now. This cozily mundane breakfast with her boyfriend felt like an out of body experience. As delicious as it was, as wonderful and comforting as it should feel, her guard was up. Even through her amiable façade. She was not the person she was two weeks ago. She was not the same woman who said goodbye to Sy at the base. Maybe that was the real transformation. Maybe that was why nothing felt normal. It wasn't the world, but her own self coming back into it.

"Shane?" Sy asked, gently, but it felt like he was speaking through a megaphone directly into her ear. She was so startled, she nearly dropped the half full mug of coffee that was paused midway to her lips. A bit sloshed out onto the table and splashed her shirt.

"Shit!" she chided herself. It wasn't a big deal, but she felt stupid jumping at the sound of her own name.

Sy reached for the closest towel, hanging from the oven handle, grabbed it and started for her clothes with it. She stopped him. But she couldn't think about why the intimate act made her uncomfortable.

"No, don't, it's fine. These clothes have seen better days, anyway." She pulled the towel from him and began to mop up the small puddles of coffee around her plate.

Sy seemed to note the stains already present on the shirt, as if trying to divine their history. She was something of a messy eater, so the battle wounds of many a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, and hurried breakfast peppered the now off-white SATB club tee she'd gotten her second or third year in college choir. She thought back to a huge room with high ceilings. White, cinder block walls, flecked tile floors, a beautiful, glossy, black baby grand in front of a long whiteboard with black lines to resemble sheet music. She thought about the mnemonic device she'd learned to help her remember what notes appeared on each line, and in the spaces between them. She pondered the deeper meanings and implications of these devices. EGBDF…every good boy does fine. She thought about the "good boys" in her life. She knew many. Her dad, her brother Ethan, Sy, obviously, her many male coworkers and friends…and honestly they did far better than "fine." They were wonderful. But she was letting the "bad boys" she'd encountered dictate her mood. Permeate her psyche. Tear her down. She didn't want to be like this. Then FACE came to mind, and above their purpose of indicating the notes between the lines on the staff, they called her to action. To face these newly minted demons with all the strength she knew she possessed, and she too would "do fine." But as with almost all actions, this was easier said than done.

She felt a warm presence on her left hand which had paused it's torture of the now coffee-infused kitchen towel. Sy's hand was squeezing hers gently.

"Shane." he uttered, barely above a whisper this time. She looked at him through tears that she had not realized had formed. He continued.

"Shane, what can I do, darlin'? I'll do anything."

"Babe, you're doing everything you can, and more. This…this is all going to have to come from me. I…don't know when I'll be myself again…" she paused, tears streaming now. "I'm…I'm different."

"You're not though." he reached for her face, but she pulled away.

"I am, damn it! Sy, I was…" Words had power. And the one she was thinking of had more power than she thought was warranted. She knew that uttering it would take away it's power…and yet mustering the courage and strength to actually do so…seemed impossible. She took a deep breath, and disassociated herself from the statement, even though it was about her own past.

"I was raped." She refused to cry. She felt it all again. She had never said the words. She had never thought it necessary. Everyone understood. Sy, his friends, and she was sure her own loved ones had made the connection. But she knew she needed to say it now to drive home the points she was about to make.

Sy, looked at the table, nodding, not needing to be told in so many words something he already had surmised from the clear evidence. He remained silent. She went on.

"I love you, Sy. I have since the day we met, on one level or another, and I believe that I always will. But I…right now I can't be a proper girlfriend to you. I can't…be with you, touch you, be touched by you, in the way we used to be. In the way you deserve…and I don't know when…or even if…I ever will. Not that I don't want to. That's ALL I want in the world. To go back. To be the woman who fell in love with this…incredible man. To make love with you, but…I can't."

Sy's eyes were full of tears, their predecessors already descending his round cheeks and disappearing into his thick, dark beard.

"Sy, I don't want to lead you on and keep you tied to a relationship with no life in it. You deserve someone who's whole. Someone who can be a fully invested partner for you, and not this broken, damaged--"

"You stop that, Shane. I won't hear no more of this kinda talk. Y'hear? You're my girl. My woman. My person. No matter what. You gotta know I'd never leave ya just cuz you aren't ready for sex again. You don't think that I would, do ya?"

"Well, you went to Virginia…you took that job…knowing the distance it would put between us. Literally and figuratively."

"Biggest mistake of my life." Shane raised her eyebrows in surprise as Sy elaborated. "I couldn't focus on my classes without wishing you were there. Wishing I could team up with you for discussions and hand to hand combat training…that thought got me a little too excited, if you catch my drift." He smirked, pulling a sheepish smile from Shane. "Then in that forest. I dreamt about you every night. I thought of you constantly. I could barely breath sometimes, I missed ya so damned much. I was an idiot. I was insane to think that I needed anything other than you. Any MORE. There IS no more. You're it. You're the MOST! The most important thing in my life."

The declaration hung like vapors in the air, more felt than seen. Tangible yet ethereal.

"And when I found out that you were missing…I was…well, I think I looked like death…and not warmed over. You can ask the program director I met with after I got the news. She could tell I was just sick over it. And as I thought about it on the way home, pieced things together, started thinking about who'd taken you, I got murderous. Shane, I have been in dozens of battles, skirmishes, firefights, you name it. War. But…the sheer bloodlust I felt thinking about what you could be going through…I've never experienced anything like it. Everything was red. Everything. For days. Until I saw you, alive. And then it went red again when I saw the fear and damage on your face." she could tell he was doing his best not to talk about the farmhouse and that basement, but she still flashed back to the moments before and after his appearance there. The moments when she simultaneously prayed to live and hoped to die.

"You don't owe me anything, Shane. I just want you in my life, and I don't care what your presence looks like. Romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between. I'm here for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Shane felt the urge to wrap her arms around her boyfriend, but could not seem to move more than one arm to place her other hand on top of his. She hoped the gratitude and love behind the small, but heartfelt gesture landed. It was all she had in that moment, no matter how abundant her affection.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shane's family's arrival was a complete blur to her. It was joyous, tearful, and the happiest she'd been in a long time. The moment she opened the front door for them, she was surrounded, engulfed with hugs from her parents and siblings. They stood in their affectionate huddle for several moments before Peg waved Sy over with marked insistence. He'd been standing by, observing happily, but not wanting to intrude on the familial reunion.

When they finally dispersed, John asked the two younger men to help him bring in groceries. The women headed into Shane's bedroom for a more private setting in which to talk. Shane filled her mother and sister in the best she could given the rawness of the wounds left on her mind by the events.

She leaned against the headboard cuddling with Gabby while her mom rubbed her feet. She had insisted on doing this thing that had always comforted her children, and made them feel much better when they were younger.

"Well, I'm very proud of you, pumpkin." The girls both looked at their mother, who rather uncharacteristically hadn't spoken in some time. Shane was nonplussed. Peg elaborated.

"You survived something that many women don't. You're talking about it now, which even more women don't. You may think you're broken, but you're just a tree damaged by a storm, but standing stronger than ever." Trust her mom to lay such wisdom on her. When she felt like giving up. When she just wanted pity. When she could only see defeat. Her mother had always found a way to encourage and buoy her and show her the victory.

"Mom's right." Gabby affirmed, and it was Peg's turn to be nonplussed, as the two women, though similar in so many ways, never seemed to see eye to eye. "It's true. Shane I've seen a lot of women come into the clinic in shoes very much like yours. And trust me…some of them…they don't make it to this point. You've got a long way to go before you're fully recovered, don't get me wrong, but you'll get there. You have us. And you have Sy."

"And then there's Sy." She diverted. "How am I supposed to plan any sort of future with him when…" She looked at her mom, and hesitated. Peg rolled her eyes.

"Shane, I know what the two of you get up to when you're alone. You don't have to be shy with me."

"Still…" she took a breath and spoke. "When I can't bring myself to…sleep with him?"

"Look at him, you're kidding, right?" Gabby chided, insensitively, but recanted at the pained expression on Shane's face. "Sorry, sis. Trying to lighten the mood a touch. Too soon. But seriously, I don't think this reluctance you feel will be permanent."

"And even if it is," Peg took over, "that man is out-of-his-mind in love with you, Shaney." She kissed Shane's toe before putting a sock on her foot. "He almost seems to worship you. Now, you know how I feel about using that term outside of religious context, but that is exactly the kind of love I want for you. Devout, and unconditional."

"But, mom, I can't--"

"Did you hear me? I said 'unconditional,' sweetie." Peg interrupted. "No matter what. No matter the obstacle. No matter the distance. No matter the circumstances. Love unwavering. That's what Sy has for you. I've seen it in him. Trust the momma."

The insistence her mother placed on trust had always ruffled Shane's feathers. Gabby's too, who she could feel stiffen slightly beside her. But Shane, for once, really wanted to trust her mother, hoping against hope that she was right. And that she, herself wouldn't screw up the best relationship she had ever been in or was likely to ever be in again.

The girls had begun talking about some of the coworkers who'd brought food in the past week, and Peg couldn't resist remarking on the character of her favorites and judging the ones she didn't care for…oddly enough, getting more or less, the correct measure of them, as Shane saw it.

After what must have been an hour from the time they'd arrived, they heard a knock on the slightly ajar bedroom door. John poked his head in.

"Ladies, we've put a casserole in the oven, and completed various manly projects around the house--"

"Oh, daddy, what projects?" She cringed. She hated that the men had felt the need to "fix" things.

"Babe, your guest bathroom had not one, but two leaky faucets, your kitchen table seemed to be more of a teeter-totter, and half the light bulbs in the living room were out. Among other tiny things. You're welcome." he smirked his crooked smirk so similar to her own, and she returned it as if he was looking in a mirror.

"Thanks, dad."

"Anyway, lunch is almost ready. So, when you've finished your confab, let's eat."

Dinner passed amiably, Shane found a reserve within herself to allow some quasi-normal behavior, as long as you didn’t look too closely. She was talking animatedly with her siblings, making their parents and Sy laugh riotously. Shane noticed some odd looks passing between Sy and her father, but chalked it up to paranoia. She wished at least Gabby and Ethan could stay, but Heather would be over soon, and she deserved her own dedicated time. Shane wanted to give that to her.

She said her farewells to her family with promises to visit them the next day, and at least one more time before her siblings went back home, if she could work it out.

Sy was so wonderful the whole time. Standing by her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder as they waved goodbye to the departing vehicle. He made her feel so safe. They went into the kitchen and cleaned up from lunch. Well, Sy cleaned. Shane was texting Heather about when she'd be over.

"Heather says she'll be here in about a half hour. She's picking up wine and pizza." Shane told Sy without looking up from her phone. She could see out of the corner of her eye, though, that he had just closed the dishwasher and was selecting a cycle.

"Sounds great. Do you want me to get out of here? Give you guys some time, one on one?" He asked as he dried his hands, wet from preparing dishes for the machine.

She thought about it, and shuddered. She played a scene in her head that startled her. In her mind's eye, she saw Sy leave and then moments later heard a knock on the door. Presuming it was Heather, she opened the door with abandon, only to see Elliott standing there under a flickering porch light, smirking maliciously at her and ready to overpower and abduct her again. She shook the thought from her head, but remained uneasy as she answered his question.

"Uh, no. Thanks. I'm sure she'll want to talk to both of us. She likes you." Shane grinned softly at Sy in an attempt to mask her trepidation over the thought of him leaving her alone for any period of time. She thought it had worked.

"Okay, well, whatever you think, sunshine. I don't wanna get in the way." He was wiping down the countertops. She felt so impossibly full of love for him, she was starting to wonder how she hadn't yet burst with it. She couldn't bear the thought of holding him back from a fulfilling relationship. He deserved everything she couldn't give him right now. And she knew she should make him leave her. Cut him loose. But she was, as she'd been since she'd met him, a weak woman. She couldn't stand the thought of being without him. Of him no longer being hers. And somehow worse, of not being his, herself. She would always need him for so many reasons, not least of which being her love for him. Maybe one day, she'd recover from this trauma, and be able to be who he deserved. To give him what he needed.

"You're never in the way, bear." She walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him as tight as she could. He placed a loving hand over hers, sighing and smiling, though she had no visual proof of the latter. It was just a feeling.

Heather's greeting was no less exuberant than that of Shane's family, but it was more joyful and less emotional, even though she was immensely relieved to see her best friend after so long. They talked as if no time had passed, and Shane mustered up the dregs of her former self to have one more interaction for the day. Thank God it was Heather and not someone who would require more. She wouldn't have it to give.

"I am so glad you're okay, Shane! Things around the clinic have been bleak as fuck. Susan is loosing her mind, Anita is beside herself with concern, and the rest of us just plain ol' miss the hell out of you. And not just because of all of the overtime everyone has been pulling to get your patients seen."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize…wow, I'm awful. I didn't even think---"

"That you'd be missed? Think again, sister. The place would fall apart if you ever really left. But don't feel guilty. It's the least everyone can do, and they've all said it themselves. We all love you, and know that you'd do the same for any of us if you could at all. Hopefully you won't have to, though!"

Shane nodded, eyes wide in agreement. She wouldn't wish the last week of her life on her worst enemy. On the worst person in the world. Except maybe the people responsible. Tit for tat.

"Well, I'm sorry my absence has caused extra work for all of you." Shane looked into the deep glass of Chardonnay Sy had poured her from the bottle Heather had brought. She felt about as small as the air bubble making it's way up the sloping curve of the stemless vessel. She felt a guilt that she knew was fully void of logic. It made no sense for her to feel guilt for being kidnapped. But she had always had this notion, this nagging voice in her head that told her that her misfortunes were a direct result of her decisions. That she'd inadvertently stepped on the butterfly that resulted in the monsoon she was currently experiencing, and whatever cataclysmic events she would face next.

"Why in God's name are you apologizing for this, Shay?" Heather's tone was kind, but still mildly scolding.

"If I'd never been with Elliott, none of this would have--"

"Bitch, are you a fortune teller?"

"No, but--"

"Soothsayer?"

"No."

"Time traveler?"

"I wish!" Shane chuckled. But she really did wish.

"Have you any real and proven success at consistently predicting the future?"

"I don't, but--"

"No. No buts. No howevers. You had no idea what becoming involved with Elliott could have done. Were there signs, sure. But you can't look on the past as a rubric to judge the quality of your decisions. You know that. You can only learn from your mistakes. And you have."

"Heather's right, sunshine. You really have learned. You look for Elliott's behaviors in mine and shut me down quick if you see 'em. You're not going to let yourself go down that road again. And I'm proud of you for it."

Shane silently worried her wine glass. It was hard to argue with such truth. But it was hard to agree when her own feelings were in such stark opposition. So she did neither.

"Well, I've preached my sermon for the day." she laughed. "I've taken up enough of your time. Oh, your phone. It's in my purse. I think it's fully charged, but I turned it off."

Shane thanked her friend, then Heather hugged them both and took her leave.

"Y'okay, bug?" Sy asked her after what she surmised was several minutes of silence. Minutes she didn't notice as they passed.

"Mmm…" she trailed off.

"Can I do something for ya?" And she really thought about the question. He could probably do a lot of things for her. He could make love to her until she felt whole again, even if it hurt her at first. Not an ideal option. He could probably get them both some new identities and enough money to spirit her away to somewhere her past wouldn't follow. If she became someone new, literally, would she have to bring that old baggage, those old scars, with her? Again, suboptimal. But he could definitely take the source of all grief and turmoil in her life far into the Missouri back country, somewhere not even the hunters would venture, some fallow field or forgotten cistern, and end him. Snuff out his spark of life like a candle caught in a tornado. Spill a fatal amount of his monstrous blood onto the unforgiving earth and send him to the Hell to which he was undoubtedly destined. But did she want that? Did she want another soul as a scar on that of the man she so deeply cherished? He'd say it was worth it. He'd say he'd take a thousand more for her. A million. That was Sy.

"Nothing comes to mind." She lied. And he knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. She was so grateful that he respected her, not for the lie itself, but for the reason she wasn't giving him the whole truth just now.

His phone went off and he picked it up as he stood from his seat at the table. She could only hear that it was Matt, the guy she thought she understood had the car place, before she heard tension in Sy's voice. Even from the next room, she could tell something was wrong, though he was talking too quietly for her to make out words.

She heard him suddenly shout a stream of profanities that he rarely said at all around her, at least, let alone together. There was a bang, and the walls of her kitchen quaked like the tectonic plates beneath them were shifting.

Sy walked back in, his face was red, as were his knuckles. He was shaking an injury out of his hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked, deep concern at his appearance and demeanor, suddenly ominous.

"I need to fix your wall in there." he grumbled, evading, without success. She'd be doing therapy on his hand, next.

"What's really wrong?" she repeated, sternly.

"That was Matt. Elliott's…escaped, somehow. He's in the wind."

Shane's heart became so heavy, she could almost feel it smashing through the kitchen floor and burying itself deep in the cement floor of her basement.

"Oh, God! No! What if he goes to the police!?"

"Fuck that, I'm more concerned about him coming after you!"

The two stared, faces full of equal measures of concern for the other.

Up Next: Chapter 21-Patient Education

#netflix #netflix sand castle #captain syverson #Captain Syverson x OFC #captain syverson fanfic #sigh for sy #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader

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incorrectshantaequotes · 3 years ago

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Shantae Headcanons - The Seven Sirens

So! I've been in a creative mood - time for some more headcanons. While I've talked a bit about my headcanons for the Sirens as a species before (primarily here; I recommend you look at their section in it since I'm going to be referring back to it), this will be about the titular Sirens we were introduced to in the latest Shantae game, with more emphasis on the five that didn't really get a chance to shine.

As is to be expected, this will be a long post, so I'll put it under a read more

The Seven Sirens as a Group

Before they were trapped underground, the Sirens were part of a royal court, with each having a specific role: Empress Siren was, obviously, the ruler, Water Lily Siren was initially there as a representative for another colony of Sirens that ended up getting wiped out while she was negotiating, Coral Siren was the Royal Technician, Tubeworm Siren was the general of the Siren's armies, Anglerfish Siren was the Royal Magician, Octo Siren was Empress Siren's personal assistant, and Lobster Siren...well, that'll be explained a bit later.

When the airship crashed, with no signs of the Sirens themselves during the following week of the Half-Genie Festival, they were presumed dead - much to the relief of the half-genies themselves, but to the slight sorrow of Lobster Siren, who didn't wish to be the last of her kind - and, besides that, she did somewhat enjoy their company.

However, a month after Shantae and some other half-genies left, and the native half-genies - Zapple and Vera - as well as Lobster Siren were in the middle of an effort to fix the damage the rising airship had caused to the island, this presumption was proven wrong when Water Lily, Coral, Tubeworm, Angler, and Octo Siren pulled up on shore, looking rather peeved.

As it turns out, they did survive the airship crashing! It just so happened that, between Shantae's own beating and the ship, you know, exploding, they had to take a while to lick their wounds and recover. But when they regrouped, the Empress wasn't among them. A bit of covert spying from Angler led to them learning exactly what happened between Empress Siren and Shantae, and, seeing as she wasn't with them...they could only assume she'd been slain in battle. Enraged, Tubeworm Siren had rallied up the Sirens and led them to the surface to get vengeance for their fallen queen.

However, before there could be any fighting, Lobster Siren stepped in and desperately pleaded for the others to change their ways - though it was a bit hard to tell for Zapple and Vera, since their various brands of half-genie magic didn't lend itself that well to understanding Siren. And to Lobster Siren's credit, it did work...for Water Lily. The rest had to take some more convincing, with there being several battles between the local half-genies and the remaining Sirens. But, in the end, they did all end up getting redeemed...which lead to a new problem.

What about their names? Lobster Siren already had a more proper nickname than "lobster girl" (more on that later), but the rest were...a bit more lacking, and weren't really forthcoming on what their actual names were. So, for lack of better options, they called in Shantae with some teleportation magic to help translate Lobster Siren so she could explain, and she proceeded to inform them that...their names were effectively the name of the species they were crossed with. Just with fancy intonations that didn't really carry over to English. And so, more nicknames had to be given. The exact nicknames will be explained in each Siren's appropriate section.

Lobster Siren

Ever wonder why Lobster Siren and Empress Siren have such incredibly similar animal halves? The answer is simple: Lobster Siren and Empress Siren are related. To be more specific, Lobster Siren is Empress Siren's niece, who she took in after her mother died in battle.

...but that was less out of genuine kindness and moreso to look good in front of her subjects. In reality, Empress Siren couldn't really care less about Lobster Siren, usually giving her about as much thought she would to a random soldier or servant. Needless to say, Lobster Siren developed better relationships with the other Sirens than she did the Empress.

Around two weeks into the effort to fix up Siren Island, Zapple suddenly declared that Lobster Siren needed a name, as calling her "lobster girl" all the time was driving her crazy. She ended up settling on Tacea - as in, crus-tacea-n. Vera argued that that was a terrible pun, and so did everyone Zapple brought in for a "second opinion," but Lobster Siren liked it, so Tacea stuck.

Her teleportation magic is rather useful for facilitating visits to and from Siren Island, whether that be for Shantae, the other half-genies, or herself. It's a useful way to keep in touch...even if teleporting from that long of a distance typically means a few hours crashing on a nearby couch.

Empress Siren

Contrary to what was initially believed by the other sirens, the Empress survived the battle with Shantae and the airship crashing. In fact, thanks to some lingering power from her battle, she actually recovered faster than the other Sirens did. She simply didn't bother to check if the others were alive. No, no...her priority was getting revenge on that accursed half-genie and the double-crossing pirate!

A week before the other sirens made themselves known, the Empress burst out of the water near Scuttle Town, interrupting a battle between Shantae and Risky Boots that was going down at the time, and wasted no time sending bolts of electricity, raging waters, and an army of sea creatures their way. Although briefly caught off-guard, the half-genie hero and pirate agreed to call a truce to drive off the mad Siren, and successfully beat her once again.

Since then, Empress Siren has added herself to Shantae's rogue's gallery alongside the Barons and Risky Boots, although she does terrorize the latter as well...sort of. Recently, it would seem her anger toward Risky has cooled down and started to become a begrudging respect for managing to pull one over her. Her anger towards Shantae doesn't seem to be cooling down anytime soon, though.

Still goes by Empress Siren, and refuses to be called anything else.

That being said, her "Empress" title was never actually official - the Sirens don't have a combined leadership. The official title for the ruler of a colony is Queen. On paper, the title was just a sign of arrogance and ego. In practice...she had one of the largest colonies of Sirens under her command, coupled with more firepower than the combined efforts of three colonies. It was very easy for her to bully and push the other colonies around, and that "Empress" title suddenly didn't seem that farfetched.

Water Lily Siren

When one looks at Water Lily Siren, their initial assumption might be "lazy." And it is true that she likes to relax and sunbathe quite a bit - beyond just liking it as a Siren who's partially plant-based, she works hard and enjoys any time she gets to lay back and soak in the sun - this is downplaying her surprisingly gentle and kind personality. There's a reason she was chosen as a diplomat.

Speaking of! Water Lily Siren was an ambassador for a colony of plant-based Sirens to try and negotiate with the Empress. As said before, Empress Siren may not have been an actual empress, but she had a lot of resources. At the time Water Lily was sent, the Empress was blocking off supplies out of a perceived slight from their Queen, so she was sent to reason with her.

Unfortunately, as that was happening, some humans happened across the Siren colony that Water Lily came from...and the forces that Empress had sent to block off supplies. Panicking upon recognizing the latter from the Empress' attacks on passing ships, the humans assumed the colony was working with the tyrannical Siren, and promptly used their resources to blow the place to kingdom come.

Water Lily was distraught when the news came, locking herself in the room Empress Siren had provided her and proving completely inconsolable for several months...and then, when she finally started letting herself see visitors and try to move on from the loss, Empress Siren casually pulled her aside and told her that the official story she'd be telling anyone who asked is that she joined the Empress' court willingly due to seeing how superior she was to her own Queen, that she was glad her colony was all dead, and if she ever even hinted that her colony was destroyed due to Empress' proximity, she'd have to try her luck in the abyss. Fearing for her life, Water Lily Siren agreed, and was accepted into Empress Siren's court.

Despite her position, Water Lily never did much in terms of bureaucracy, so she did her best to try and fill that gap with some other things. Sunbathing, growing some plants...and caring for Lobster Siren. Yeah - for a lack of a proper mother figure, with her own missing and Empress Siren's cruelty, and for a lack of anyone to call her own, Lobster Siren and Water Lily Siren ended up growing a mother-daughter relationship, ending up incredibly close.

Ironically, this relationship with Lobster Siren is the main reason Water Lily never broke rank before or during Seven Sirens - before, it was just a worry of what might happen to Lobster Siren if she were to disappear, and during the plan set up by Empress Siren and Risky Boots, she was afraid that if she didn't do her part, Lobster Siren might have to step in, and, well...she already knew what humans could do to Sirens. She already knew what genies could do to Sirens. She wasn't going to take her chances with a half-genie.

Thankfully, with the threat of Empress Siren gone and Lobster Siren having broken rank herself, she took very little convincing to join up with the good guys. Although she didn't wish to fight the other sirens, having no quarrel with them, she did take a part in the following battles - her control over plantlife combined with Vera's refresh magic proved very effective.

Ended up settling on Lily when the surface-dwellers decided they wanted to go a bit further than "plant girl." It was a nickname she already had with the other Sirens, and it sounded like a surface name, so it was a fairly easy transition.

Does have a bit of a mischievous side to her, mostly brought out by Lobster Siren but can be brought out by others as well. The native half-genies to Siren Island have gotten especially good at it.

Coral Siren

The Royal Technician, Coral Siren was primarily responsible for the airship the Empress used to spread her reign across the sea, and all kinds of firepower and weaponry for the Sirens as well.

Her personality, in a single word, is gremlin. She likes shiny things, she likes tech she hasn't seen before, and if it's some combination of both she is instantly going to see what it is without regard for whatever she was doing before. Combine that with a seemingly limitless energy, and she's a terror in any lab that isn't her own. Key words being "isn't her own," because ironically enough, her lab is perfectly pristine.

The sea slug that serves as her cycloptic helmet is her pet, which she's affectionately dubbed "Spiny," and she loves it as much as she loves her own inventions, which is really saying something. Like many of the sea creatures native to Siren Island, it has unique biological properties thanks to the ambient magic in the area, with Spiny's being the cycloptic "eye" visor that other creatures can see through. When they look through the "eye," they can see beyond their normal sight, similar to Plink's own Seer Magic. This is especially useful for Coral Siren, as Spiny's magic readings can often be more effective and useful than her own equipment.

Lobster Siren was most often the one who helped her out whenever Spiny got lost or was missing, so they ended up forming a nice little friendship. They weren't that close, but it was nice for Coral to have a listening ear once in a while, and if Empress happened to come around looking for Lobster, well...what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

The third of the Sirens to break rank when they made their return. The reason? Well...she ended up spotting a hot air balloon during a battle in Armor Town and immediately dropped everything to try and see how it worked. Tubeworm Siren barked orders at her, trying to get her back on track, and Zapple...simply offered to let her look at all the tech she wanted if she came over to their side. She agreed in a heartbeat. And then had to be pulled out of the way of Tubeworm Siren's wrath. From there, she pulled from her own technical expertise to give the growing resistance tools to counter the remaining two sirens.

When she learned that she'd been dubbed "Coral Siren" as a result of no one really seeing her lower half, she first angrily corrected them, offended that she wasn't referred to by her proper title of Seahorse Siren...and then took on "Coral" as a nickname, because it sounded nice even if it wasn't the correct terminology for what she was, and it did sound like a surface name.

Tubeworm Siren

High and mighty, Tubeworm Siren was the latest in a long line of generals serving her colony's crown, and by god was she smug about it. Her legacy was one of the most important things to her, and she often boasted about the deeds the past generals did and her own strength that followed. In present day, her legacy is still important to her, and she does still hold pride in her combat prowess...but she no longer holds it over everyone else's heads since she's no longer loyal to the Empress. More on that later.

As one would expect of a general, she was fanatically loyal to her Empress, rarely questioning her decisions and simply following orders. Her loyalty was valued very much by the Empress, and she did her best to ensure its cultivation, making sure that Tubeworm Siren was completely and utterly obedient to her...

One of the few things Tubeworm Siren ever did question about her Empress was her treatment towards Lobster Siren. She never brought it up to Empress' face, but it always rubbed her the wrong way how easily she was dismissed and ignored. So, Tubeworm Siren decided that she wanted to help...which, unfortunately, translated to "make Lobster Siren stronger." After all, she was strong, and she was well-respected! Surely, a little training was all the little lobster needed! But her idea of "training" involved...a lot of things. Like lasers. Lots and lots of lasers. And needless to say, Lobster Siren didn't like any of it. Although she understood that Tubeworm Siren meant well, she tried to avoid her if she could help it.

The last of the Sirens to break rank from the Empress - she stayed loyal even as Sirens left one after the other, calling them cowards and traitors to the crown. In the end, she refused to listen to reason, so there had to be a joint effort to restrain her and then imprison her. Lobster Siren often visited to try and get her to join them and be free, but no luck. Her turning point only came when Shantae came around to visit Siren Island, and she just so happened to overhear a conversation about the Empress' latest exploits as Shantae and Zapple passed by her prison. Upon hearing that Empress Siren was alive, and that she'd been attacking some random half-genie rather than helping her people...Tubeworm Siren connected the dots of why she didn't show up. She didn't take it very well.

Which is to say, she promptly broke out of her prison and started going on a rampage to take out her rage and sorrow. The other Sirens and the half-genies teamed up to stop her once again, but this time they were barely able to slow her down, even with Shantae's help. But just when it seemed like they would have to take drastic measures...Tubeworm Siren just. Broke down. It was quite the unexpected sight for all involved. Eventually, Tubeworm Siren ordered that the others go away - save for the half-genies and Lobster Siren. Once they were alone, she quietly explained her own conclusions about the Empress' actions, and then pledged her loyalty to their side - it was clear to her now that her Empress...no, the Queen, did not deserve her loyalty, and perhaps never did.

At first, she just patrolled the shore, constantly on the lookout for that traitorous Queen should she ever come back, but with a bit of coaxing from Lobster Siren and some sporting brawls offered by the half-genies, eventually she was helping out with the rebuilding effort and being social once more, finally back to her normal self after weeks of misery.

Tubeworm Siren took on the name Scylla after a monstrous beast in Siren Island's folklore - the tales of which she properly identified as the exploits of her great grandmother, the first of the colony's generals.

Anglerfish Siren

The Royal Magician, Angler served as the eyes for Empress Siren, using her magic eye constructs to spy on the surface and either take notes on ships with good loot...or to take notes on other siren colonies and any slights they might have committed against the Empress. She didn't like the latter part too much, but, eh, orders are orders, right?

Saw potential in Lobster Siren's teleportation magic, and privately taught her how to hone it and use it to its fullest. Angler couldn't help as much as she would've liked, due to her own magic differing a good deal from Lobster Siren's own (even if it was supposedly in the same category), but the progress she and Lobster Siren did make her pleased her significantly...one of the few times she smiled was when Lobster Siren managed her first long-ranged teleport.

Empress Siren ended up putting a stop to it as soon as she found out, much to Angler's displeasure and Lobster's protests. But Angler knew how powerful the Empress was. She was in no position to fight back, even with her impressive magical power. And so she accepted it, though not without giving Empress Siren the stink eye every time they passed in the halls of the airship.

This apprenticeship with Lobster Siren was why she was the second to break rank. Because, as she was spying on the surface to learn what had happened to their Empress...she saw how Lobster Siren was genuinely happy. How much fun she was having with her friends on the surface, how much she smiled...and how much that contrasted with her fearful behavior when she was under the Empress' command. She tried to hold onto her loyalty to Empress Siren, but in the end, she couldn't fight against her own apprentice. Not when she was so happy up here. After the first fight, she left in the shadows and arrived at the alliance's temporary base in the dead of night. Needless to say, she gave them quite a scare.

That being said, "willing to help" did not equal "friendly." For Lobster Siren, sure, and Water Lily she could treat as a passing acquaintance, but for the half-genies she was anti-social and rather moody. She stayed that way even as more of her Siren brethren joined with them. However, an unexpected visit from Rottytops led to the zombie discovering and ultimately befriending the Siren, thanks to her own experience with magic and the occult...maybe a bit too well, if the ensuing prank spree is anything to go by. It did get Angler out of her shell, though. Still moody, but she's willing to talk with people outside the Sirens.

Ended up going with "Lure," by Rottytops' suggestion. Besides just being appropriate for someone who's part anglerfish, it also happens to be wordplay - "Think about it. Ang-LURE. Eh? Eh?" To Rottytops' credit, Zapple laughed.

Octo Siren

Octo Siren had a similar issue to Tubeworm Siren's problem, but in a very different direction. Whereas Tubeworm Siren boasted about her legacy and her physical prowess, what Octo Siren had was a personal line to the Empress, as the one who helped her with matters like paperwork and court. As a result, Octo Siren grew haughty and saw her assistance to the queen as the only thing that mattered, leaving more trivial matters to the octopi she could command with her magic.

She did have a surprising amount of respect for Lobster Siren though, thanks to her connection to Empress Siren - moreso than Empress Siren herself, ironically enough. As long as it didn't interfere with Empress Siren's own desires, Octo Siren was more than willing to lend her some octopi for some minor things...key words being "Empress Siren's own desires." In the end, Octo Siren always defaulted to Empress Siren above all else, so she and Lobster weren't very close.

The fourth to break rank. At first, she stayed by Tubeworm Siren's side, because in spite of her past respect of Lobster Siren, well...it was as Tubeworm Siren said, she betrayed the crown. Any respect she had for her was now gone. And with Tubeworm Siren being the next best thing, she stuck to her. Then she started to get worried as they lost more and more of the more combat-ready Sirens. She actually quite likes her little octopi servants, and as the others left, she was forced to draw upon more and more to make up for the deficit. And the problem is, to put it simply, her servants aren't that capable of combat, especially compared to the sheer monstrous might of Tubeworm Siren. Octo Siren really, really didn't want to keep throwing octopi at the problem and losing them, so in private, she discussed the idea of a truce. Even Empress Siren knew when to back down, right...? Although she couldn't remember even one time.

The answer she got was, unsurprisingly, a resounding no, and that was enough for Octo Siren to push away from Tubeworm Siren and join up with the rest. She never helped that much in combat, to no one's shock - being a secretary doesn't prepare you for combat and all - but her servants are very handy for reconstruction, and she is very good at paperwork and legal terms. So, the half-genies and other sirens are willing to put up with the occasional haughtiness as long as she gets things done.

Octo Siren was the last to choose a surface name, though not for lack of trying. She just couldn't find one she liked, and no matter what that electric half-genie or zombie would suggest, she was not going with a stupid pun. However, after thinking it over, she settled on...Molly. You could really hear the crickets when she announced that one. "...what? Did you just assume that because you all chose aquatic names or those horrid puns that I'd pick one too? Please, I'm hardly that cliché. Au contraire, I am a trendsetter, and I happen to think my surface name is quite fetching, wouldn't you agree?" "I still think you should've gone with Ceph." "You shut your mouth!"

#shantae #not a quote #headcanons #lobster siren #empress siren #water lily siren #coral siren #tubeworm siren #anglerfish siren #octo siren

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winryofresembool · 4 years ago

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 31

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 4/?

A/N: Soo sorry about the long wait! This was a very long and kind of tricky chapter to write so it took me longer than I would have wanted. But in a way this is (ironically) a good day to post this chapter as it's the Mother's day in many parts of the world today. (Happy Mother’s day Esperanza Valdez ;___;)

Before we head into this chapter, I want to give you guys a warning that it (specifically, the flashback in the beginning of the chapter) talks about what happened to Leo's mother, so in case you find that too hard to read, feel free to skip it. (If you have read HoO, I think you can somewhat guess what to expect)

Thanks for all the amazing support you guys have given me so far! ♥ It's what keeps me going! Now, enjoy, and remember that I'd really like to hear what you think because there's a lot going on in this chapter!

Words: 5550 (yeah, long one)

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: minor character death (talked about), be aware!

previous chapter / AO3

*flashback*

There was fire. So much fire.

Leo had been tinkering with his toy tools and drawing some simple blueprints in the living room when he had remembered that he had left his hammer into his room. He went to look for it and it took him a couple of minutes to locate it from under the unfinished toys and papers he had thrown around. Unfortunately, that couple of minutes had been enough for all hell to break loose in the living room.

He started smelling smoke and ran back downstairs to see where it came from. The wooden floor and several pieces of furniture in the living room were on fire, which seemed to have started from the papers he had left near the fireplace. Leo’s mind went completely blank like a machine that had just been shut down. The only thing that he was capable of thinking was: what do I do?

His mother had put a fire in the fireplace before she had left to run some errands because it had been a cold day. She had warned Leo several times to be careful with it, even putting a bucket of water and a smothering blanket nearby in case of emergency. But it was already too late to use them; the fire had already spread too far in the room. Because of his state of panic, it took Leo a while to manage to make decisions, but finally, his brain told him: get your phone so you can call mom, and run.

What his 8-year-old brain didn’t understand: he should have just left the building right then and asked a neighbor or someone to call the fire department instead. But Leo could only think how the very thing his mother had been worried about just happened and how she’d probably never forgive him for – no matter how accidentally – burning their home. He had vague memories of leaving his cell phone that he had gotten a few months earlier on his birthday into his room, so he ran upstairs as quickly as he could with his short, wobbly legs. However, the phone wasn’t on his desk like he had anticipated, and it took him a while to remember he had thrown it under the bed after getting frustrated with his homework; the words on the textbook they were supposed to read had not made any sense to him.

Once he finally found the cell phone and went back downstairs to leave the building, the fire had already spread so much that he could barely see anything from the smoke. Coughing, he tried to cover his mouth with his shirt so he could protect himself from the smoke and dash to the door, but he soon realized it was not possible. His road was blocked, and the only way for him to get out would be through the upstairs windows.

Leo didn’t have the time to figure out how to open the windows so he ended up breaking his bedroom window with a real hammer that he happened to find nearby. Shaking, breathing heavily and trying to avoid the glass shards, he looked down. The fall would be quite big, at least 5-6 meters, but he was no stranger to broken bones. The fights with other school kids had taught him a thing or two about that. He would still be more likely to survive the fall than trying to go out from downstairs; at least there were no stones or other hard objects under the window. He was so full of adrenaline that he didn’t even notice that his hands were bleeding; they had hit the broken glass when he had peeked out.

Finally, he managed to gain enough courage to climb up the windowsill and lift one of his legs over the edge. In the process he scraped himself some more in the glass and tore his pants a bit as well, but who cared? It was a very minor thing compared to his mother’s face if she’d find him dead in the house. For a moment Leo thought about all the blueprints and devices in development in the basement of the house, how hours and hours of his mother’s work would go to waste if the entire house burned down – but that was a thing to worry about for later. It was already too late to do anything but to try to escape.

With a huge lump in his throat as he imagined how his mother would hate him when she’d find out about the fire, Leo finally lifted his other leg over the edge as well, sitting on the windowsill with his legs hanging in the air. The distance between him and the ground seemed even bigger than it had earlier, but he had to do this. Slowly, he inched himself forward, hesitating a bit more, but the sound of the fire breaking something downstairs startled him and finally, he dropped down.

After that his memories started getting hazy. He fainted when hitting the ground and when he first woke up he noticed the pain in his left ankle and some blood coming from his forehead. He was laying on the grass, not unharmed but at least alive, and suddenly he got aware that he had to get farther from the house because the fire could easily spread to the surrounding grounds. He could only hope that a neighbor or a passerby had already called the fire department because he himself would not be able to do that, not with his dizzy head and the pain everywhere in his body. Before he passed out again, his last thought was: when would his mother be back?

The next time he was conscious, he remembered trying to drag himself forward with his hands. He could not stand up, and not even crawl, so that was the only thing he could do. Inch by inch, he got a bit farther from his falling spot, and by that time he also started hearing some distant sirens and human yells somewhere, but his mind could not comprehend what all of it meant.

After that, the next thing he remembered was being lifted from the ground by a first responder. The man tried to tell him soothing words, probably something like ‘poor child, it will be alright’, but Leo didn’t care. He wished the fogginess of his brain would just fade so he could speak and walk on his own feet and find out what happened to his mother – if she returned yet – but afterwards, he wished he would have never found out.

He kept slipping in and out of consciousness for a while, not really sure what was happening around him, until finally he woke up in the hospital. One of his legs and arms had been plastered and a bandage had been wrapped around his head. Already he wished he could have just ripped them off and run away but he knew that wasn’t possible. A couple of minutes later, a nurse finally arrived at his bedside.

“Oh, good, I’m glad you’re awake,” she said, testing his forehead to see if he had a fever. “You scared us there, young one.”

“It’s not me you should be worried about! Where’s my mom?! Hasn’t anyone told her I am here?” Leo demanded in a hoarse voice.

The nurse ignored his question. “Now, what is your name?”

“Leo Valdez,” he answered grumpily, glaring at the nurse.

“Good. How old are you?” the woman asked then.

“8 years. But how does that have anything to do with anything? I want my mom here!”

“Calm down, Mr. Valdez. We are just doing some routine tests. You hit your head pretty badly. Now, do you remember your home address?”

Leo, despite still feeling quite dizzy, got really angry about the question. “Yes, I do, but it doesn’t matter! There’s probably nothing left of it anymore! Because it burned down!” The tears finally demanded to get out of his system as he added with a tiny voice: “And I don’t know where my mom is.”

The nurse looked very hesitant for a moment. “I, um… You know, I think we are gonna complete this test a bit later. There are some people who have been wanting to see you.” She looked towards the door restlessly.

“Is it mom?” Leo asked instantly.

The nurse just shook her head. “You’ll see soon.”

She let the visitors in and left the room, closing the door behind her. Leo found himself staring at a firefighter, who he vaguely recognized as the same one who had carried him to safety after his fall. With him entered a police officer whom Leo had not seen before. Why would a police officer want to meet him, he wondered. Maybe they’d sentence him to prison for burning the house down?

“It was an accident!” Leo blurted before the men had time to say anything, trying to look brave even though he had just cried.

“We know, we know,” the firefighter tried to calm him down. “That’s not why we are here. We wanted to see how you were doing, and, um…” he looked helplessly at his companion.

“We have some bad news,” the police officer went straight to the topic.

“Is it about the house?” Leo asked.

“No, it’s about your mother… she’s gone.”

It took Leo a moment to register what the police officer had said.

“What?” he yelled.

“I’m sorry, but she is dead.”

Leo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was already so panicked that denial was his only coping mechanism left. “Again, what?”

“It is true, young man,” the police officer stated matter-of-factly.

“But she can’t be! She wasn’t even home…!” Leo squeaked, trying to make sense of the situation in his blurry, shocked mind.

The firefighter spoke this time. “I’m so sorry, son… but he’s not lying. We found her in your house. The neighbor who called us had seen her go in before we arrived, and… when we got there… it was already too late.”

“But… but…” Leo had a very hard time getting any words out at that moment. “Why… why would she go in…? And… why didn’t anyone stop her?”

Again the visitors hesitated before answering. “This is just what we heard from a couple of witnesses, but… it seems like she had gone in to… look for you…”

Leo wished the sweet unconsciousness had returned to him in that moment, but that didn’t happen. Instead, it felt like something tried to pull his heart out of his chest. His mind was going through about a hundred different things at the same time: grief, anger, denial… and perhaps above everything else, guilt. It was his fault. It was his fault that the house had burned, and it was his fault that his mother had gone into the burning house. If he had been there to warn her… if she had known… But no, he had had to jump from upstairs to the backyard from where he had been harder to find. And then he had, only half conscious, dragged himself to a nearby trench where the humidity had protected him, being even harder to spot unless you happened to walk right next to it.

That meant that his mother had gone into the house thinking he was there… and she had died thinking he had died. All because he hadn’t listened to her, because he had left some papers on which he had been drawing too near the fireplace.

‘My fault. All my fault’, was all Leo could hear in his head on repeat. He noticed that the firefighter was trying to say something, but he could not register what. Leo didn’t ask him to repeat what he had said. Instead, he stuttered with a weak voice:

“You didn’t answer my other question. Why… didn’t anyone… stop her?”

The police officer sighed sadly. “From what we know, your neighbors had tried to tell her to not go in, that there was nothing she could do, but she refused to listen. The… smoke had already suffocated her by the time we arrived.”

Leo clenched his small fists, unable to focus his gaze anywhere. Everything around him was just a meaningless blur. All of a sudden, nothing mattered to him anymore. With his mother, Leo hadn’t just lost the most important person in his life, the only person who had ever really cared about him and understood him. He had lost his home, his safety, everything that he had loved. More to himself than to the men in the room, he sobbed:

“What's going to happen to me?”

And then everything went blank.

*end flashback*

…

When Leo woke up, he noticed he was breathing very sharply. He had to tell himself to slow it down a bit, trying to focus on the breathing instead of the dream he had just seen. Once he had calmed down a bit, he realized his face was soaked from the tears. The good feeling from the day before was gone, and suddenly he remembered all too well why he hated that holiday so much. His mother had died on Christmas day, 11 years ago.

The worst part about the nightmare he had just seen? It had actually happened. Sure, the details might have changed in Leo’s mind a bit because he had been so young when his mother had died, but most of it was true. The fire, the jumping, the people in the hospital, all true. When he had still been a kid, he had dared to hope that maybe someday the memories would start fading and it wouldn’t hurt so much. But now, 11 years later, he knew better. Thanks to the therapy and Jo, Emmie and the friends’ help, he did have moments when he managed to feel happy, focus on the future and forget the pain for a time being, but when it came back, it was always as intense. And it was especially bad on Christmas days, the anniversary of those horrific events.

‘Pull yourself together’, Leo told himself. ‘This is not what your mother would have wanted for you.’

‘No’, another, the evil voice in his head said. ‘But then again, if it weren’t for you, she would still be here.’

He groaned at himself and decided that it would be better to get himself up and moving rather than lay there listening to the voices. Sitting up, he combed his fingers through his messy hair in an attempt to tame it, with little success. After that, he wiped the tears from his face, trying to pretend it had never happened. Registering the voices coming from the living room, he figured some of his family members were already awake even though it was still rather early. They, especially Georgina, were lucky that they didn’t know what was going through in his head that day; it would have ruined everyone’s Christmas.

Trying to pull himself together and put on a happy face, he got up and washed his face in the bathroom quickly before joining the family. The moment he reached the bottom of the stairs, Georgina ran to him and hugged him.

“Merry Christmas, hermano!”

Leo patted her hair absentmindedly, thinking that Georgina was now only a year older than he had been when… no, he had to stop thinking about it. If not for anyone else’s sake, then Georgina’s. She deserved to have a happy day.

“Merry Christmas to you too, hermanita. Well, did Santa visit? Did he receive my memo on your behavior towards me this year?”

Georgina pulled away from him and folded his arms. “I’m not a little baby anymore; I know Santa doesn’t actually exist. But we did get presents! Even you, although I was kind of surprised about that.”

Leo clutched his shirt. “Ouch, Georgie! I thought you were on my side!”

The siblings continued bickering playfully as they waited for the others. They had a tradition in their house that everyone needed to be there for the present opening. Soon Josephine appeared with a tray full of coffee cups, gingerbread cookies and certain small pies she used to bake every Christmas.

“Where are the others?” Georgina asked impatiently as she started stuffing the cookies into her mouth and drummed her legs against the sofa. “I want to open the presents already!”

“Calm down, Georgie,” Jo scolded her. “Emmie is checking the cats and dogs because they also need care on Christmas day, and Calypso may still be sleeping.”

“Ugh, I told her I wanna start opening the presents early!” Georgina protested. “I’ll go wake her up if she isn’t here in 10 minutes!”

“You’ll wake who up?” Calypso showed up from the stairway. Hearing her voice and seeing her face, Leo forgot for a moment why he had been so upset earlier. Somehow her presence just had that weird effect on him. She was wearing a green holiday sweater knitted by Annabeth over her pajamas – pink with some small flower prints – and her hair was flying freely, slightly wavy because of the braids that Georgie had insisted on making the previous evening. Somehow even that casual look made her look adorable in his eyes and his throat felt dry for entirely different reasons than a few minutes earlier. Leo almost missed Calypso’s next words due to his distraction. “Sorry that you had to wait, Georgina. I was finishing up one last present because I wasn’t entirely happy with it.”

“No worries!” Georgina exclaimed. Apparently the last minute gift preparing was a good enough reason to be late in her books, because Leo knew that if he had been late for the gift opening, the little girl wouldn’t have forgiven that easily.

Calypso put her pile of neatly packed presents under the tree to wait and turned to the others.

“So, merry Christmas, everyone! If I am allowed to be honest with you, I don’t really know a lot about Christmas traditions… My family never celebrated it… But I want to learn!”

“We’ll teach you,” Georgina told her immediately. “It’s gonna be so much fun, you’ll see!”

Leo wished he himself could have been as enthusiastic about the holiday as Georgina was, but tried to keep the happy face on anyway.

“Cal, try some of those pies before Georgie has eaten them all.” He pointed to the tray Jo had brought. Calypso glanced at him suspiciously for a moment. “Don’t give me that look; I swear I didn’t make them. It’s all Jo and Emmie.”

“Fine,” Calypso agreed and took a bite. “This is really good!” she exclaimed once her mouth was empty.

“Told you. Now do you trust me?” Leo asked her teasingly.

“Hmmm. That’s still to be determined,” Calypso replied, but Leo could see her smile into her piece of pie.

As everyone waited for Emmie to return inside, they kept up a light banter as they ate their Christmas breakfast in the living room. Even Leo did his best to participate in it, and soon he did feel a bit better, although if someone had looked at him more closely, they would have noticed the smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes.

Finally, Emmie arrived together with Festus and Georgina instantly pulled her towards the Christmas tree so they could start the gift sharing. A grin spread across Leo’s face as well when he watched the little girl run back and forth as she delivered the packages to their rightful owners. This was now, he tried to remind himself. What happened in the past… was in the past and his mother would probably have wanted him to enjoy these moments.

Not that he’d ever know that for sure, the nasty voice in Leo’s head said again, and the grin almost disappeared from his face.

To no one’s surprise, Georgina got the most presents because even some family friends and neighbors had sent her something (that’s what happened when she got everyone wrapped around her finger, Leo thought), but everyone else got their fair share of self made gifts as well. Leo noticed that Calypso had three packages; one from him, one from Georgina who had insisted on making her own present, and one from Jo and Emmie. He found himself wishing she’d like what he had made; he had spent quite a lot of time on it.

Before anyone could start ripping their wrapping papers off the presents, Festus was given some treats so he wouldn’t interrupt the gift opening too much. Georgina got the privilege of getting to open hers first. She chuckled at Leo’s jokes in the photo album, which Leo took as a success, and squealed excitedly at the tiny dragon toy he had carved from wood and painted. Calypso had sewed her a detailed gryphon plushie, because Leo had told her that Georgina had recently gotten interested in the mythical creatures, a topic Calypso knew a lot about. The little girl hugged the plushie enthusiastically while Calypso promised her to tell her more about the Greek mythology later when they’d have more time. Emmie gave Georgie a tiny beginning of a plant that she’d get to raise on her own, and Jo, the practical person that she was, gave her a pocket knife for tinkering with a warning that she’d only get to use it under her supervision.

Leo and Calypso allowed Jo and Emmie to open their presents next. It was mostly practical stuff, like woolly socks, self made chocolate, and new tools (which broke the ‘homemade’ rule but Leo knew Jo needed them), but Leo had also tinkered frames for a photo of the Waystation family and asked Calypso to decorate it with her paints. The final result looked pretty good in his opinion.

Next was Calypso’s turn. Georgina had attempted to crochet a potholder for her because Leo had guiltily admitted that he may have accidentally ruined one of Calypso’s potholders while cooking something. However, since she was still a beginner in the handicrafts, the potholder had some room for improvement, but Leo could see from Calypso’s happy face that she appreciated the gesture. Leo had also told his mothers that Calypso really loved her flowers, so they gave her a white orchid in a pot that Jo had once crafted. Finally, she opened the gift Leo had made for her. He was biting his lip and tapping his fingers nervously even though he tried to act nonchalant as he watched Calypso’s reaction. Before she removed the paper, she knocked on the surface of the gift, trying to guess what was in it.

“Is this a tool box? So you could borrow mine when you lose yours?” She teased.

“Well, at least that would be useful, don’t you think? But hold your horses; it’s probably not what you think it is,” Leo hinted. Calypso gave him a quizzical look and Leo took that as a sign that she really had no idea what the gift was.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” she noted and started carefully removing the paper. Unlike Georgina, she made sure that the paper would still be usable on some later occasion. Calypso wasn’t entirely wrong with her guess; the gift was indeed a box of sorts. But it wasn’t for tools. Instead, it was a jewelry box; wooden, self made, painted rose pink, which happened to be Calypso’s favorite color. When she opened it, she noticed a small mirror on the lid with some text on it. The box also played one of those few songs that they both happened to like. Calypso traced her finger on the smooth surface of the box for a moment before she noticed that there was still something more in the box: a silvery bracelet with a letter C hanging from it. She took it into her hands and admired it for a moment before reading aloud the text that had been written on the mirror:

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.”

“Um, yeah…” Leo was unsure how he should respond. Suddenly he got worried he had been too straightforward with that message, and Calypso wouldn’t appreciate it. “It was a quote, um, that I happened to stumble upon somewhere recently… But I thought it was quite fitting?”

Calypso looked at him straight into the eyes and for a moment Leo managed to forget that there were others in the room. It was as if she was trying to message him wordlessly that she understood the meaning of the quote.

“Yes, I think it works,” she replied slowly. “For both of us.”

Leo felt his ears getting heated and attempted to comb his hair over them with his fingers to not make it so painfully obvious. Given what day it was, he understood that it was ironic he was using that quote when he himself was struggling to let go from his past.

“True,” he had to admit, looking at the others nervously from the corner of his eye. “It’s… it’s something that we both should try to remember. Something we have in common, right?”

Calypso seemed to accept his explanation. “Right. Um, this box is really beautiful. You’ve seen a lot of trouble with it. The music and all… It’s really nice. Did you even make this bracelet?”

Even though Leo should have prepared himself for that question, he felt embarrassed to reveal the bracelet’s origins, afraid it might sound too sentimental. He rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat to get more time to consider his answer.

“The… the chain was from an old bracelet my mom had… My biological mom, I mean. I didn’t get to keep a lot of her belongings but this had survived… and my dear aunt didn’t want to keep it so I’ve been carrying it around as a charm of some sort. But the thing is, I don’t really need it so it was Jo’s suggestion that I could give it to someone who’d use it. She helped me make this,” he showed the C, “because I don’t really…”

“Want to forge anything,” Calypso finished for him. “Yeah. I understand.”

“Good. If you don’t like it, you can give it to someone else; I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind…”

Calypso gave him an encouraging smile. “Oh, no! This bracelet meant a lot to you so it means a lot to me. It’s a really nice gesture, Leo.”

“You’re welcome?” he replied, kind of flustered by her reaction.

Calypso fiddled with the gift for a moment before turning her attention back to Leo.

“Would you like to put this on my wrist? I’d like to see how it fits.”

“Oh… alright!” Leo agreed, wishing he could say something that didn’t make him sound like a complete idiot. But then again, he reminded himself, wasn’t that what most people thought of him? And since when had he cared?

Calypso handed the bracelet to him and Leo took a very light hold of her wrist, as if afraid that he’d burn her skin with his hot fingers. He was so focused on his task that he even forgot that it was technically against the ‘rules’ they had set, but Calypso had initiated it so who was he to deny her request? He put the chain around her wrist with fumbling fingers and closed the lock. After that he allowed his hand to stay around hers a moment longer. He swiped the surface of the chain with his finger, also touching the back of her hand by accident (or maybe on purpose). Calypso looked up from their hands to him with a surprisingly soft expression that he hadn’t seen since that day when they had promised each other to try harder to be ‘just friends’. His brain sent sparks through his spine and he felt very warm all of a sudden.

“I… um… it seems to fit, doesn’t it?” he finally stuttered, looking down at the bracelet, Calypso’s gaze still lingering in his mind. He let her wrist go and already his hand felt much colder, as if it was missing something.

“Oh, yeah,” Calypso nodded, absentmindedly fiddling with the chain of the bracelet. “It’s small enough that it won’t fall but it’s not too small.”

“Good,” Leo said, a smile returning to his face. “Guess you’re just as tiny as my mom was.” He finally managed to bring out his more playful side.

“Have you looked into the mirror lately, Mister Super-Sized McShizzle? You’re not exactly a giant yourself,” Calypso teased back.

Georgina giggled at her response. “You tell him, Calie!”

“This Georgina here, though,” Leo grinned at her, “she must really have some giant blood in her. She uses my overalls in the garage sometimes!”

“I do not,” Georgina denied quickly. “They’re stinky.”

“Yeah? And you smell like flowers and rainbows,” Leo retorted and started tickling the little girl.

For a moment Leo was able to forget that he hated Christmas as he played with Georgina, but then someone reminded him that he still had to open his own presents. He looked at the pile he had gotten and thought briefly that he had gotten more of them than what he had expected. Georgina had drawn him a picture of him with Festus and sewed him a simple pencil case for his blueprint pencils. Jason and Piper had gotten him a book about weird mechanics facts. Percy had sent him a new orange t-shirt so Leo could return him the one that he had once borrowed after a workout (which, according to Percy, was ‘way too big for him anyway’). Leo’s moms had made him an awesome tool case where even the bigger tools would fit and baked some of his favorite goodies. Finally, it was the turn for Calypso’s present, though.

“What do you think it is?” Calypso asked, glancing at him curiously.

“My first guess would have been a pack of olives because you know how much I love those things… But this doesn’t feel like them. It’s mostly soft but there are some hard parts too. Maybe a bit like a backpack?"

“That wasn’t a half bad guess,” Calypso responded. “But I won’t tell you the correct answer; you can figure it out on your own.” She invited Leo to open the present.

“Okie, Sunshine, will do.”

He ripped the paper (which was Leo’s favorite shade of red) off notably less gracefully than Calypso had done with her presents, but his mouth opened involuntarily when he saw what was inside. It was a toolbelt, not looking like one of those belts that broke in his use after the first couple of days (Leo had a habit to load them too full sometimes), but sturdy, well made. Leo wondered where she had obtained the leather she had used in it, and hoped that it hadn’t cost her too much money. The belt had four different sized pockets for the tools and it seemed like one of them had something in it, but before Leo checked what was inside, he turned to Calypso:

“How did you know I needed one of these?”

“Probably because you’ve been carrying wrenches and stuff in your jean pockets and I’ve also seen your room and that’s enough for me to be able to tell you need a place for your tools,” Calypso smirked. Leo barely heard her answer. He didn’t want to admit aloud that one of the reasons why he was suddenly feeling so sentimental about a tool belt was because it reminded him a lot of the one his mom had made for him when he was a kid. “I hope this wasn’t too much trouble…” He noted more quietly than usual.

“It was not trouble at all,” Calypso reassured him. “I have sewed more difficult things. The leather was actually from one of my old bags that my dad got for me – which I hated – so I didn’t even have to buy a lot of the materials. Besides, you yourself made this,” she knocked the wooden cover of the jewelry box, “and I bet it was a lot more difficult.”

“Nah, it wasn’t…” Leo tried to protest and he noticed the others in the room had a hard time keeping their faces straight as they listened to the flatmates competing whose present had taken more time. “The music was probably the most complicated part.”

“Okay,” Calypso said, deciding to leave the debate there. “Hey, I forgot to mention that there is something small in one of the pockets. You could check it out now.”

“Alright, I will,” Leo told her. He reached out to the said pocket and found a small box from it. His smile instantly disappeared from his face when he realized what it was. Everyone went quiet for a while as they were waiting for his reaction.

“Why would you give me matches, especially today of all days?” He lifted his gaze from the box, his eyes sparkling angrily. Before anyone could say anything, he threw the box away and jumped up from his seat. Calypso’s sad face was the last thing he saw before storming out of the room.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au #finally this fic is living up to its name

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

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Cordy the vampire slayer

Cordy and Buffy Bodyswap au

Request: Hi, if you have time could you write a Buffy and Cordelia Body Swap fanfic? Set in the early episodes of Season 2? Giles tells Buffy about a special holiday for slayers, where the slayer can temporarily switch bodies with anyone she chooses and after an argument with Cordy, Buffy accidentally makes her choice. The only problem was that Giles never got to finish telling Buffy how long the switch would last — three months!

Requested by: Anon + @archiefan23

A/N: Just a little warning that Cordy kisses Angel as Buffy at one point. I really enjoyed this one !! Sorry it took so long to post love 💖

It was late morning. But the heat was rising by the minute. It was the kind of sunny day that held a multitude of possibilities. The temperature in the high school library was warmer still, but not uncomfortably so. It surrounded them in a glow that marked the beginning of summer. The kind of summer they hoped would spell demons and the like taking the same long break to sunbathe as they wished to.

Giles was in his usual suit, he wore his old faithful no matter the weather. The others figured there must be some kind of magic, breathable material tailored to him as otherwise he would be sweating buckets.

Xander, Buffy and Cordelia were waiting for Willow to arrive as Giles paced, figuring out how exactly to begin his speech without boring the teenagers to death. Unfortunately, this particular battle was one that would never be won.

Willow arrived, apologising and rushing to sit beside Xander giving him a bright smile. Giles nodded at her before turning to reveal

Giles sets the green, jagged stone in the centre of the table. Everyone just stared. It had begun to glow. The first time in a few decades.

“In every generation-”

“Oh I know this one!”

“-Yeah, there is a chosen one, yada yada-”

“No, well – yes. But, that was not what I was explaining. It is good, however, that you do actually heed what I tell you”

“God, Giles, nobody can forget it”

“I have dreams of that speech” Willow agreed.

“Nightmares” Xander added, shuddering.

“Yes, well, moving on from that enthused rally of support – in every generation there is a moment in the Slayer’s life where her consciousness may switch with that of a human. It is tradition that this would allow her to hone her skill and-”

“Well, I’m sold” Buffy shrugged, thinking of all of the free time she could have.

“-It was, ah, a vacation in some way and in others it was a sentence upon the woman that she swapped forms with”

“A sentence? Like, she had to write a paper on being a Slayer for the day? That’s horrible” Cordy said as Willow and Xander rolled their eyes at each other.

“Well, no – no nothing like this. The woman would endure being the slayer and survive unscathed would walk on the path of the righteous. She could be mythologised depending on how well she adapts to the gift”

“Yeah, like it could even be that hard!” Cordelia immediately scoffed whilst filing her nails.

“You wouldn’t last a minute, Cor”

“Oh yeah? Try me. I could slay twice as good as you!” she insisted indignantly, her hands on her hips.

“Yeah but Buffy would still get all the credit – you would be operating her body like some kind of whacky sci-fi feature” Xander added which made Cordy consider it. But, nonetheless she snatched up the stone and gestured for Buffy to do the same.

“Well, like, we would all know”

Buffy was pleased, mostly she wanted to have the day off. She thought Cordy had a pretty sweet gig. She was popular, athletic and people seemed to respect her. Plus she had seen the barista in the local coffee shop always gave her free Frappuccino’s.

So, they agreed. Giles asked several times if they were sure and they both raised an eyebrow and tried to get him to hurry up. Cordy decided she could track Devon down and show him exactly what he deserved for ignoring her for so long.

Giles put his hands over theirs who were clasped around the stone, palms glowing green as he recited the ancient rites. They stared at each other, their own bodies and facial expressions looked almost alien. It was really strange and Buffy couldn’t stop staring down at Cordy’s hands that were now hers.

The bell went and everyone went their separate ways. This could be fun, both thought at the exact same time. Cordy and Buffy couldn’t stop beaming for the entire day. They were really enjoying the swap. Cordelia would even write a paper on her day she was in such a good mood.

Cordy immediately skipped her morning classes and went to the beauty salon, to try and do something about Buffy’s hair and nightmare she called nailbeds. She was doing the girl a favour and it relaxed her anyway.

She found Devon and flipped him over her head with ease, warning him to call Cordelia back which he insisted he would and scrambled away. She dusted her hands off and put her hands on her hips proudly.

Buffy on the other hand went to all of Cordelia’s classes with little to think about other than whether that hot guy at the back was staring at her. She could just sit there with little expectation of her and enjoy it. She didn’t have to think about anything and it was really fun. She didn’t even mind sitting for Harmony for half an hour discussing the merits of a new hair serum.

It was going well. That first day was the easiest one and they were both convinced the other had it easy still. That was, until the revelation Giles was about to bestow on them. It was the end of the day and both met at the Library at the end of the day.

They returned to Giles in order to switch back. They just presumed this holiday was for a day before they were allowed to turn back. When they said this, Giles had to break it to them. Giles squinted, realising he hadn’t explained properly. They would be doing this for three months. At this revelation both of them began speaking over each other in their horror.

“That’s not a vacation, that’s squatting! This is a human rights violation, she should be paying rent to be living in there” Cordelia, from inside Buffy’s body, screeched.

“You should call your lawyer. Oh, wait – is he my lawyer now?” Buffy asked, deep in thought.

“Perhaps, uh, this will prove a pivotal part of understanding the other’s-”

“Oh my God! This is so not happening!” Cordelia spoke over Giles’ probably very profound explanation and instead stormed away.

She got in her car and started to drive towards her house, realising that she couldn’t go home. She scowled and reversed, driving to Revello Drive and tried to figure out which of the tiny box rooms was hers.

Buffy stayed with Giles and tried to see if there was a quick fix, but there was honestly nothing that he could do. He offered to drive her to Cordelia’s house and insisted that he would be there for her and Cordelia for the next few months.

The first month:

It had been a struggle. Neither of them were communicating much and Gies had insisted that the slayer still had to

It was ruining Cordy’s social life (not that she was convinced that Buffy had one anyway). She turned up to school after being driven by Joyce which she found kind of embarrassing but again, didn’t really mind seeing as nobody would know it was her.

Buffy’s arm was in a sling as she walked through the corridors. Cordelia had been trying to slay the night before and had fallen awkwardly onto her arm. No thanks to the real Buffy, who hadn’t come to help her.

As she was passed by herself, she reached and clasped her good hand around her wrist and pulled her with her. She tried to struggle but her new superstrength gave her the upper hand.

“Bathroom. Now!” Cordy squinted at herself and pulled Buffy with her again when she didn’t move of her own accord. Cordelia checked that the bathroom was empty before rounding on her.

“You know… if that happened last night your arm should be healed. Benefit of the slayer deal” Buffy offered before she could open her mouth, still trying to get used to navigating Cordelia’s body.

“Oh, yeah, I know - it’s fine. I just wanted a little sympathy but everyone kinda ignores you in the halls, huh?” she muttered, taking the sling from her shoulder and trashing it.

“Well-”

“Not the point! Where were you last night?! There was a vampire and it was like he knew every punch I was gonna throw!”

“How rude of him”

“I know!” Cordy agreed before stopping, realising Buffy wasn’t actually as invested as she was.

It was weird to Buffy how easily she had slid into being the popular girl again but it was a complete breath of relief. As if the entire world had been removed from her shoulders. She felt so much lighter.

“Ugh, just ‘cause you’re so boring and take slaying so seriously and vampires are like obsessed with you doesn’t mean that you have to be such a bitch!”

“I’m a bitch? You’re the queen of b-”

“You’re so gonna regret this, Buffy, I could make your high school career a living hell! Worse than any Hellmouth-!”

“Do you know what? I’m Cordelia Chase – I don’t take crap from anyone! Have a nice slay, oh, I mean day!” Buffy smiled overly sweetly before walking away. Cordy screamed in frustration, slamming her hand against a bathroom stall and ending up punching her entire fist through it in her frustration. Leaving her screaming again, but this time the door took the brunt of her annoyance.

After their exchange in the bathroom, both women decided they were going to make the most of the swap. By messing with the other and their lives. They were set on annoying the other just like they annoyed them.

Both ended up bickering more than usual if they ever saw passed each other. They started to say things or do things slightly out of character to annoy the person whose real life it was. This carried on for a few weeks. Cordelia started to show her strength more obviously, making more and more people question Buffy. Buffy started to pretend she couldn’t pick up even the easiest part of choreography for cheerleading.

Then, one day something happened that Cordelia saw as the final straw. Buffy walked in, as Cordelia, with her hair in a complete mess. She didn’t style Cordy’s hair and walked around all day with a birds nest. Cordy grabs her and tries to style it out, attacking her with a hair brush.

“Does my face really do that when I’m annoyed?”

“All the time” She replied, rolling her eyes. She tried to brush her hair again, but it was no use.

“No, I think the style’s really gonna catch on” Cordelia’s own face was smiling infuriatingly back at her. She was horrified. She was sure that she would never live this down. Her hair looked horrific.

“Fine. Then- then I’ll let everyone know I’m a slayer. I’m sure your Mom-”

“Cordelia! You can’t!”

“Then someone will have to discover that a tangle teaser is our friend”

Buffy soon realises that Cordelia means it and eventually gives in, which allows them a tenuous truce from there on in.

Cordelia and Buffy walked back home in the dark together, mostly in silence. They walk side by side until Buffy says goodnight and walks towards Cordelia’s house which would probably be empty when she got there. Cordelia warned her she wasn’t allowed to drive her car, she didn’t trust her.

It suddenly begins to hit each of them though, as they walked their separate ways. That their lives aren’t quite as easy as they expected.

Cordy realised she’s suddenly making all the tough decisions. The responsibility on her shoulders. Everyone automatically looked at her for guidance, to make the decisions – just because she had Buffy’s face. It was actually really hard.

Not to mention, Joyce’s parenting style was almost suffocating to her and Cordelia barely held back her snapping. She wasn’t used to someone asking after her every movement.

Plus, it was absolutely exhausting juggling slaying, sneaking out and pretending to be normal. She didn’t know why Buffy bothered. Because some gross men said so, like years ago? Cordy insisted if she was Buffy she would have quit. But, again, here she was still playing along even for the next few months without refusing to slay.

Meanwhile, Buffy was feeling how acutely Cordelia’s loneliness appeared to bleed into every aspect of her life. At home, she wasn’t really listened to no matter how rude or loud that she was. Her parents were rarely ever present and when they were it was to give her gifts to make up for all the time they were about to spend away again.

Buffy didn’t enjoy hanging out with Harmony and the rest of Cordy’s friends. None of them seemed to genuinely care about the other. Or share any meaningful bond. In fact, it didn’t seem that they cared for anyone except themselves and as soon as one walked away, they appeared to immediately begin to be rude about the others.

These new realities they have been planted in, these new perspectives gave them both something to think on. But it didn’t take from the fact that they were still so very annoyed with the other.

Month Two:

They had a lot of time to think, while living the other’s life. There was chance to reflect on themselves and the life of the other. In some sense, they were jealous and completely relieved there was an end to this.

The pair had began to bond a little more since the previous month where they were at each other’s throats. There was something about literally living another’s life that made them suddenly bonded together. Even if they didn’t really want to be.

Buffy just tried to avoid Cordy’s friends as much as possible rather than being rude to them. She didn’t want to upset Cordelia’s chance at popularity too much – she was starting to get it now, it was the way that Cordy could feel better about herself.

Towards the end of the second month, Cordelia had got into the swing of slaying by herself since those first rocky weeks. She found herself enjoying the daily exercise routine (she decided she would totally be bringing that back with her when they swapped back).

Cordelia and Buffy had been spending a lot more time together. Cordelia was in her own room – finally. Buffy’s home was a lot smaller, something she called ‘cute’ to her face but Buffy knew what she meant by it.

“When you said have a walk in your shoes, I wasn’t expecting to have to run the vampire-mile in last season’s boots” Cordy huffed, combing through the blonde hair she was still trying to get accustomed to while she looked in the mirror. She was getting angry at it, it was near-impossible to maintain in the way she was used to. Buffy always made it look so pretty. She missed her own brunette hair. She missed the way people would cower as she walked through the halls. She missed not having to

But, she liked that she could relax around the Scoobies and not have to worry about her image, not that she would admit it of course.

“Well, I always wear a heel that has a supportive ankle - y’know, for maximum slayage” Buffy shrugged and smiled, filing her nails in the way that Cordelia usually would. The change was a lot easier for Buffy seeing as this was the life she lived in Emery. It was sort of nostalgic to relive her more carefree years.

“It’s not even that hard, Cordelia. I mean, I don’t know how you hang out with Harmony and those other girls. They’re so shallow and kinda cruel” Buffy held herself back from including Cordy in the kind of girl that was cruel too.

Buffy, despite noticing the drawbacks of Cordy’s life really needed the holiday. She didn’t have any responsibility. She didn’t have to lift a finger at home and she could basically do whatever she liked whenever she liked. Cordelia’s parents barely even saw her.

“But, it never stops! Ever!”

“You’re doing this for what? Another month. You’re doing such a great job – really. Just let me have this last month and then everything goes back to normal”

“That’s easy for you to say! I mean, I have to be the Slayer and what? No soul-having hunk of goodness on my arm!?” Cordelia continued to whine as she got the comb caught in her blonde hair again. She tugged too hard and snapped the object clean in half. She groaned in annoyance. That was the last straw. She huffed and threw the pieces of the comb to the vanity table.

Buffy bit back a smile at Cordy’s overreaction. It was the opposite for her, an inconvenience not to have her strength. She felt weak and had a newfound appreciation for how her friends managed to fight vampires without any powers at their disposal.

However, Cordelia was sick of superstrength and vampire dust that seemed to get everywhere. This gave her an idea that would stay in the back of her mind. Cordy remembered that Angel had been out of town and would be returning for Buffy’s birthday. Interesting.

Buffy looked up, feeling sorry for Cordy. She knew how it felt to be out of your depth and she didn’t have the same kind of support system that Buffy did. Despite Buffy enjoying the freedom she had, she knew that this meant Cordelia wasn’t close with her parents. And her friends were shallow and wholly unsupportive. This realisation is why she offered what she did.

“Cordy? I can help, you know. With the slaying” Buffy offered softly. She was starting to realise she had just left Cordelia to it. Had begun by making her actual life harder too. It made the other woman look over, raising an eyebrow.

“Why would you want to help me?” Cordelia squinted as if she was suspicious, but Buffy just shrugged.

It made each woman think about why they had agreed to swap and what it would mean to work together rather than struggle alone. They nodded at each other, not really sure where they stood with the other.

Month three:

By the third month, both women knew the drill. Buffy would help train Cordelia and provide her with the most knowledge she could about slaying and how to improve. Which, the girl was surprisingly taking in her stride. She had slain three vampires by herself and with a very artistic flourish the night previous.

Cordelia used Buffy’s strength to her advantage spinning into a kick that would have made her overbalance before. She landed a few blows this time before she was thrown into a gravestone. She got up immediately, not allowing herself to stay down. She then charged at the vampire, plunging the stake into his chest leaving him dust in the wind.

She grinned in excitement. It truly was getting easier that slaying gig. She knew she was right – she could totally do it.

“Yeah! Take that, creep!” Cordy shouted at the pile of dust before jumping up and down over how easily she had taken that vamp down.

“Now we just need to work on your puns” Buffy added, her arms crossed as she watched.

“Only people with nothing interesting to say uses puns… oh, and you, obviously” Cordy added with a little shrug. They decided to call it a night and both were only hoping that no apocalypses threatened whilst they were still swapped. She was getting good but still.

During this time, Cordelia had also given Buffy pointers about how to enhance her popularity. To follow the age-old saying ‘Be more Cordy’. She helped her make up with Harmony by buying her something expensive and definitely not apologising to her.

It was still hard and Cordelia was always complaining whilst simultaneously gushing about the work-out routine she was picking up from this swap. She insisted she was going to do a slayer-inspired exercise video and make, like, millions from it which always made Buffy roll her eyes.

Buffy was sitting with her now usual gang of Cordettes hanging around her. She was counting to one hundred mentally in her mind until she would make an excuse and leave them to go to the library. She just hoped that she wouldn’t get seen entering again or face another war of passive-aggression with Harmony. This was one daily battle that she would rather take on an apocalypse over.

“So, what about you and Devon? He’s totally hot” Harmony afforded, “Not as much as my guy, obviously, but some people just have to lower their expectations right?” She smiled sweetly in that way Buffy had now become accustomed to.

“Yeah, Mr invisible sounds totally hot” Buffy quipped, knowing she could at least get away with that. It made the others giggle. Harmony always talking about this mystery guy but nobody had ever seen him.

Buffy sighed as she thought about all of the men she had encountered since she had swapped bodies with Cordy, and what they had propositioned to her at the Bronze. Buffy realised that men tended to try to use Cordelia and then just as quickly begin to ignore her. She does use her looks but she never ends up getting what she wants. She wants a committed relationship, companionship. It made Buffy really sad for her, she finally understood what Cordelia meant about being lonely despite having so many people around her.

She then turns to Harmony and insists, scarily exactly like Cordy would, that he was a total burnout loser with no prospects and even less in his pockets. Total no-go. The way gossip worked at Sunnydale, Devon would be blacklisted by anyone who was anyone by the final bell.

Which, is something she probably wouldn’t have done if she had known what Cordelia was planning to do that evening.

Cordy greeted Angel that evening and he smiled. It was Buffy walking towards him, how could he not smile? Angel opened his mouth to say something but she immediately crashed her lips to his. She kissed urgently, a hint of desperation and need that he would have found nice if it had actually been Buffy kissing him.

He frowned, somehow he could just sense that something wasn’t right. He stilled her, his hands on her upper arm. He pulls back, scanning her face. He squints, not sure if he should say something.

“You’re not…”

“Oh, come on… baby, I’m the slayer and you’re the soulfully good vampire. Let’s- do it” Cordy used her best seductive face, which admittedly worked better with her own features but she worked with what she had.

“Buffy, maybe we should… patrol” angel said, his voice wavered as his forehead furrowed. Something just wasn’t right.

Buffy sighed deeply and rolled her eyes and it reminded him of someone. She turned to leave but he called to her before she did, “Cordelia?” Angel tried and Buffy’s eyes met his immediately.

“How…?”

“You’re not her…” Angel admitted, looking at the floor.

“But I look like her, I’m stuck here with her entire wardrobe! What’s the big?” She sighed, her loneliness bubbling back to the surface. Ashe didn’t know whether to lash out or just cry at the rejection. She was a strong person and yet she was crumbling at the way that even as Buffy who appeared to have everything she couldn’t replicate it the same.

“Love isn’t about looks. Or, how nice your outfits are, which, um – they are pretty” He assured her, trying to soften the blow, “It-it’s something you feel deep inside. Something you know without having to question or second-guess yourself. It’s… her”

Cordy sat on the side of her bed and Angel sat beside her, comforting her. She was upset at this. Nobody had ever felt so deeply for her, she was sure of it. And it stung.

“Why does nobody like me for me? Why do I do everything and still have nobody?”

“You’re a great girl-” Angel started awkwardly, not really sure how to comfort the girl. But at these words, Cordelia suddenly stood up and left, running to Buffy’s house and hiding in her room. Just hiding her tears until she closed Buffy’s bedroom door behind her. She wanted a love story. Why did she feel like a secondary character in her own life?

The next day at school, it was finally the day. The day that Cordelia and Buffy were supposed to swap back.

Angel had explained to Buffy what had happened (although his eye contact was anywhere but her face as he found it weird to be so comfortable talking to Cordy this way). But rather than Buffy flipping out, as she might have done say three months earlier, she realised exactly why Cordy would have tried it on with Angel. Especially so after realising just how lonely it can be living Cordy’s life.

“Cor, I know what happened last night”

“Oh, yeah? What is loser just stamped on my forehead?” Cordy sighed and when she saw the look her own face was giving her she understood. Buffy wasn’t trying to be cruel or laugh at her rejection. She softened slightly, “I’m sorry okay? I am”

“Look, I know we’re not close-”

“And our hair is a very different style and texture” Cordy added without thinking.

“Our slaying abilities are different too” Buffy muttered under her breath and then shook her head at herself. She really was easily sucked into being the popular girl, “We’re not close but we’re a lot more similar than I ever thought. I get it, okay?”

Buffy took Cordelia’s hand in her own and offered her a comforting gesture. So much was left unsaid and yet both felt understood by the other in a way that had never really happened before.

“It’s tough at the top and we’re just both at the top of our worlds” Cordelia nodded along. Buffy’s the slayer of slayers and she slays the rest of the student body to be the most popular. It can be so lonely at the top and both understood the other in a much different way than they ever had before.

Cordy’s words made Buffy smile but she nodded. It was easier for Cordelia to express herself this way. Both of them were glad that they were changing back but they would miss the way that their weird friendship had blossomed through the last three months.

They understood completely now the pressure the other was under. Their points of view. Their lives. They were both hard in their own way. Maintaining Cordelia’s popularity alone was exhausting.

Giles returned to the library, nodding at the pair of them. Telling them that he was proud of the pair of them. Cordelia really had proved herself and Buffy had shown herself as someone who can support others and allow them to learn under her guidance. This admittance made both women gasp, both of them longed for a father figure and Giles saying this made both of them remember this moment for a long time after.

He recited the words, safe in the knowledge that both girls had learnt to work together in the way he had hoped upon his suggestion. Buffy needed to take a step back to have a break to appreciate her gift whilst understanding she had allies she could equally turn to for support.

A green hue lit up the room as their bodies swapped back. There was a final rush of cold air, making them both shiver and instinctually step back from each other.

This was right. Their own body, lives, returned to them. They shared a smile, a small nod of understanding before Buffy launched herself at Cordy. Pulling her into a hug. Both of their eyes were watering, it had been a long past three months.

The girls had never felt close, mostly because they hadn’t really understood the other. Not like this. But now they were sure that they would keep this bond for the rest of their lives.

#Cordelia Chase #Buffy Summers #Buffy #Cordy #btvs #btvs imagine #btvs fic #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #bodyswap au #bodyswap #buffyverse #buffy x cordelia #Buffy Summers x Cordelia Chase

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jingabitch · 4 years ago

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I Love Recycling

SUMMARY: wherein water is a scarce and precious resource and you are given to Jennie as her recycler.

RATING: Explicit

PAIRINGS: Jennie x reader; side Rosé x reader

WORD COUNT: 21.6k

A/N: !!! i was honestly scared to post this and I’m still kind of nervous so I hope you guys will be kind 🥺🥺 if i get hate on this i’ll probably delete my blog altogether lmao. this is for the handful of followers who wanted blackpink watersports.

Year 2086

Most mornings, Jennie didn’t really enjoy waking up, and would sleep past noon if she didn’t have any morning appointments. Even when she did, she often snoozed her alarm until she couldn’t anymore before getting ready.

Today, however, Jennie woke up before eight in the morning, excitement making it difficult for her to go back to sleep. Instead, she came out of her bedroom to the common area of the dorm, much to the surprise of her group members.

“Unnie, what are you doing up so early?” Lisa, who was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table having some fruit for breakfast, asked.

Chaeyoung, sitting next to Lisa and nursing a cup of tea, laughed at the question. “She’s obviously excited about today,” she teased, smirking mischievously up at Jennie.

The older girl rolled her eyes and headed to the kitchen to get some coffee. “What’s wrong with being excited?” she asked when she came back to the living room, sitting across from her two bandmates. She meant to sound tough and sassy, but there was a bit of vulnerability that she couldn’t quite hide.

Hearing it, Chaeyoung immediately backtracked. “Unnie, there’s nothing wrong with being excited! We’re sorry we laughed. I think it’s really great that you’re getting a recycler.”

Jennie blew the steam off the top of her coffee mug to avoid making eye contact with her dongsaengs. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah, I mean, this has been your dream since even before we debuted, right? We’re happy for you, really.”

That cheered Jennie up a bit, and she smiled at them. “Okay,” she accepted, grateful to have such supportive friends. Getting a recycler had been a big decision, especially since she didn’t live alone. She’d initially been nervous to broach the topic with them, terrified that they would say no to such a big commitment and having another person living in the dorm with them, but they’d been cheering her on the whole time.

It was common for idols, as well as other members of society’s rich and elite, to have recyclers. After all, water was a precious resource, and rationed to each individual or family unit based on net worth, contributions to society, and so forth. The distribution system was regulated by an algorithm so complex most people couldn’t understand it, and there were, unfortunately, people at the fringes of society who didn’t get enough water to survive.

The solution, therefore, was relatively simple and straightforward. People who weren’t assigned enough water to survive could sign up to be recyclers and be assigned to members of society who were given an excess of water, and the name was somewhat self-explanatory. Basically, recyclers… recycled the water the elites drank.

Put more bluntly, they drank pee.

It was highly regulated, of course – applicants who wanted recyclers of their own had to go through health checkups and maintain a healthy and responsible lifestyle before they were assigned a recycler. There were background checks, home visits and it was overall a very stringent selection process. Even as the only daughter of a wealthy family, Jennie hadn’t been able to qualify. It wasn’t until she was an established idol with a group and a thriving solo career that she finally got the letter informing her that she was now eligible to undergo the selection process to have a recycler if she wanted it.

And, well… she definitely did. Recyclers, because of the nature of their relationship with their assigned donators, grew very close to them, a bond that often lasted a lifetime. It was exceedingly rare for recyclers to apply for a new donator – approximately 0.1% of recyclers did, usually because their handler abused them or had contracted a disease that made it unsafe for them to continue donating their urine. Jennie did not intend on being part of that 0.1%.

As an only child, Jennie had often been lonely growing up, and after watching a documentary when she was in her teens about the intimate bond between donators and recyclers, had craved that kind of companionship. Today, a long-held dream was finally coming true, and she was going to be bringing her assigned recycler home today.

She still had a little bit of time before she was supposed to get ready, so she opened her laptop and pulled up the file she’d been sent on her recycler. The file was comprehensive – full name, picture, age, educational background and other details. Enough for Jennie to start constructing an idea of what the girl she’d been assigned would look like, but not enough for her to understand L/n Y/n, the person. Still, she supposed, there would be plenty of time for that in the coming years.

Really, the agency had done a remarkable job of finding her the perfect companion. She’d had only a few vague ideas about what she wanted – a girl, preferably, because she was just more comfortable with having a girl around 24/7, someone younger than her so she could dote on her and fulfil her older sister fantasies, and cute. The last requirement was something that she’d reluctantly added at the request of her management company. Having recyclers was a symbol of stature, and played into idols’ image of being successful and wealthy. Jennie didn’t necessarily like it, but they wouldn’t have okayed her having a recycler who wasn’t photogenic, so she’d had no choice.

As much as she knew about her recycler, Y/n didn’t know much about her at all, because she’d requested that her identity be kept strictly private. With the amount of public interest in idols’ lives, she knew her seeking a recycler would be leaked if she didn’t take the utmost care to keep it secret, and even though it was inevitable that everyone would eventually find out, she wanted to keep it to herself just for a little while. A few weeks to get to know her recycler without public scrutiny, was that too much to ask for?

Anyways, given that her recycler didn’t know anything about her or who she was, she wanted to make a good impression. She’d been thinking of what to wear for days now and hadn’t been able to decide, but now time was running out and she had to choose something fast.

“Aaaargh,” she cried, ruffling her hair in frustration as she stared at her closet. Half of her closet was Chanel and the other half was filled with assorted haute couture pieces, yet she couldn’t come up with something that she was confident meeting you in.

Hearing her scream, Jisoo slipped into her room sleepily. “What’s going on?” she asked, yawning. Jennie had woken her up, and she sat down on the bed, sighing. She wished she was still in her own bed.

“Unnie, I can’t figure out what to wear,” Jennie complained, turning to her bandmate.

Jisoo blinked at her. “Why are you having such a hard time? It’s not a big deal.”

“But I want her to like me,” Jennie whined, sticking her head back into her closet.

“She’s going to like you no matter what, Jennie-yah,” Jisoo said, her eyes drooping.

“You don’t know that! How could you possibly know that?” Jennie cried, sliding the hangers one by one along the bar in her closet to look at all her clothes.

Jisoo sighed. “Just don’t wear pants. It makes it harder to… you know.”

Jennie, who had been looking at a pair of wide-legged trousers, turned back to look at Jisoo with wide eyes. “Oh my God, that’s true,” she said, sliding it over to the right and beginning to browse through her skirts and dresses instead.

In the end, she went with a simple ensemble – a white, off-shoulder, cropped blouse with a large bow on the bottom and a short black pleated skirt. Because she was a Chanel girl at heart, she paired it with a small black Classic Flap and heeled booties.

By the time she was ready to leave, she was running late (despite her early start today!) and dashed out of the dorm, yelling a hasty goodbye to her roommates. As she walked towards her car in the underground parking lot of the dorm, she sent out a quick prayer of thanks that YG had finally lifted the ban on the members driving. This whole thing would have been all the more awkward if she’d had to have someone drive her there.

------------------------------

As she pulled into the parking lot of the Bureau of Water Distribution, Jennie pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. The security to get in was fairly rigid, since there were so many high net worth and prominent individuals who came to pick up their recyclers here. On the bright side, that meant no paparazzi, and everyone around her today would either be trained to ignore the fact that she was an idol, or famous enough that her presence wouldn’t faze them.

After parking her BMW, Jennie got out of the car and entered the building, psyching herself up to meet Y/n. It was just the most important day of her life, that’s all. You could divorce a husband, but recyclers were forever. She introduced herself at the counter and was almost immediately taken to a private room, where she was told to wait for her recycler.

With some time to kill, Jennie started looking around. The room was beautiful – marble flooring, leather couches, fancy furniture and art. This room was designed with its wealthy occupants in mind, and it showed. She squirmed in her seat nervously, her heart pounding from the nerves. If her recycler didn’t come soon, she was going to find her on the ground, unconscious.

Despite the anticipation, Jennie almost leapt out of her seat when there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” she said in a shaky voice as she stood up, her hands folded in front of her. The door opened and a stout lady in a pantsuit bustled in, clearly a member of the staff here from the lanyard dangling from her neck.

“Miss Kim, it’s nice to meet you. This is L/n Y/n,” she said, stepping aside so Jennie could take a good look at you.

You were clearly nervous, your eyes downcast and your hands, like hers, clasped politely in front of you. Without raising your eyes, you folded yourself into a deep bow, your torso parallel to the ground. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Kim. Thank you for choosing me as your—” Your eyes widened in shock as you saw the person who was standing in front of you for the first time.

“Right, well, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other. When you’re ready to leave, just give me a call and I’ll give you the rest of the paperwork,” the staff member said before making herself scarce.

“Thank you,” Jennie said, nodding at the staff member as she left and shut the door behind her. Then she turned her attention to you. Your clear nervousness did a lot to put her at ease – she immediately slipped into nurturing mode as she saw how vulnerable you looked. Clad in the plain dress that came standard issue for recyclers, slightly hunched over, trying to make yourself smaller… the wave of tenderness that rushed over her almost knocked her clear over.

“Come sit down,” she said, sitting on the couch herself and patting the cushion next to her in invitation.

“Okay, Miss Kim,” you said politely, making a beeline for the couch. Clearly, you’d been taught to be obedient to your donator, but this was a little excessive, Jennie thought.

“You don’t have to be that formal, Y/n-ie. You can just call me Jennie,” she reassured you. “And you can relax. I don’t know what they taught you about how recyclers are supposed to act, but I really want you to become part of my family,” she continued, placing her hands over yours, which were still clasped together tightly.

Your gaze drifted from your hands in your lap up to her, and the apparent sincerity in her gaze as she smiled at you putting you at ease. It was still terrifying, of course – you hadn’t known until just now that your mysterious donator was a world-famous idol, and you didn’t quite know how to react. Still, the earnest expression on her face had you believing that no matter what, she would be right there with you. It was a nice feeling, and you couldn’t believe that someone you’d known for about five minutes was able to make you feel this way when no one in your life had ever succeeded.

“Thank you, Miss Kim— I mean, Jennie-unnie,” you amended hastily. “Sorry, it’s just that your file only had your last name, so I got used to calling you that in my head.”

Then you realized what you’d said and flushed scarlet, much to Jennie’s delight. It was reassuring to know that she hadn’t been the only one looking over your file almost obsessively.

“Don’t worry,” Jennie said, squeezing your hands lightly. “I’ve been excited to meet you too. I know my file was pretty empty, though, so I’m happy to answer any questions you have before we sign the papers.”

“R-really?” Your eyes lit up.

Jennie chuckled. It was so easy to make you happy, it seemed. “Go wild,” she encouraged.

“Does being your recycler mean being in the public eye a lot?” you asked the first question that came to your mind.

Jennie hummed thoughtfully. “It might,” she admitted. “But we’ll all do our best to protect you, so you don’t have to worry, okay?”

You nodded as you digested that, then asked the next question. “Will I be living in the dorm with the other members?”

“Yeah, at least for a couple of years. When the lease is up on the apartment, we probably won’t renew it. It’s weird for us to be so old and still living together.” Catching your dumbfounded expression, she laughed. “Why? Are you excited to meet the others?”

At her question, you immediately ducked your head, though she could still see how red your ears were. She laughed in delight. “Y/n, are you a fan?”

You yanked your hands out from under hers to cover your face, which was hot to the touch. “Maybe,” you confessed miserably. She definitely found this weird now and would request a different recycler; you’d screwed things up before it even began.

“That’s so sweet,” Jennie cooed, patting your head. “Don’t worry, I’m sure everyone will love you.”

That didn’t sound like she was upset. Peeking at her from between your fingers, you saw that she was smiling, so you slowly lowered your hands. “Really?” you asked with a small voice, and she nodded at you, still smiling.

“Okay.” You smiled shyly back at her, and Jennie could barely resist cooing over you.

“Are you ready to get the papers now?” she asked, and you nodded.

She used the intercom in the room to call the staff member back, and the paperwork was quickly dealt with. You both signed the copies of the agreement presented to you – one for each of you, and one for the Bureau’s records – and that was it, you were free to go. Before the staff member left, however, Jennie stopped her to ask where the restroom was.

“What? You have a brand-new recycler right there!” the staff member barely got out through peals of laughter. Jennie looked over at you and flushed. She’d asked out of habit, forgetting that this was your whole purpose.

“Take as much time as you need, you can leave when you’re ready. Have a nice day!” she said as she left. Jennie and you stared at each other with wide eyes for an awkward moment before you looked away, clearing your throat.

“Uh, right… how do you want to do this?” you mumbled.

Jennie gulped and looked around. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet. “Uhh… how do you prefer to…?” she asked uncertainly.

Your gaze snapped up to hers. “I’ve never practiced it,” you told her. “Donators usually like to train their recyclers themselves according to their preferences.”

“Oh…” Jennie was clearly way out of her depth, floundering for help, and you felt a deep tug inside you that compelled you to provide that guidance.

You placed your hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back onto the couch, then got on your knees in front of her. It was here that you hesitated – was it too intimate to help her remove her clothing? Was this something she would expect of you? – and you slowly raised your hands, giving her plenty of time to take off her own panties if she wanted to.

Instead, she continued staring down at you as you slipped your hands under her skirt, resting against the smooth, warm skin of her hips. It boggled your mind that you were in this position – you, who’d entered Bureau protection at the age of fifteen, who’d led a miserable, unspectacular life right up till this point, had been chosen as Jennie’s recycler. And she was so nice, too. Maybe this was an apology from God for dropping the ball on your life so badly.

“All right,” you murmured. “Here we go.” Then you hooked your fingers in her panties and started drawing them down. You’d never done this in real life, but there was an abundance of written material for recyclers, so you knew in theory how it worked. Swallowing hard, you pulled the scrap of lacy fabric down her legs gently, then set them aside.

“Uh, okay…” You looked up at her. “So, how do you want to do this? Do you want me to close my eyes, or…”

Jennie just looked blank. Clearly, she hadn’t given much thought to the details involved in recycling. Well, you thought optimistically, this was preferential to the donators who fetishized the act.

“I don’t know,” she finally admitted.

“It’s okay,” you rushed to comfort her, squeezing her ankle. “We can figure it out together.” Sooner rather than later would probably be best though, since she was starting to squirm in her seat. Pushing her knees apart, you positioned yourself beneath her, opening your mouth and looking up at her face.

“Is this okay?”

“Uh, I guess?” She was still gnawing her lip uncertainly, though, so you sat back to regard her.

“Is something bothering you?” you asked, your brows knitting together in concern.

“I don’t know, this is just kind of weird, isn’t it?” she fretted. “I don’t want to accidentally spray you in the face.”

You bit back a laugh. You were literally drinking her urine, and she thought you were afraid of getting some on your face? That was kind of cute, you thought. “Even if you do, they always keep wet wipes and towels in the rooms so that’s not a problem. If you’re really worried, I can form a seal with my mouth, but I read that sometimes it’s harder to pee like that.”

“Okay, let’s try that first, and then if it doesn’t work, we can go with the wipes?” she suggested. Your new donator was honestly so cute, and it was so different from her onstage persona that you were confused. Compartmentalizing it all and prioritizing her current needs over your disbelief that any of this was happening was the only way you were getting through this, but there would be plenty of time later to sit and mull over your thoughts.

Shuffling back slightly, you bent down to press your mouth to her bare pussy, being extremely careful with the… placement of everything so you didn’t make it awkward. Once you were settled, you remained still, focusing on not moving your tongue at all. Not knowing where to look, you ended up focusing on the ceiling. As a result, you didn’t see Jennie’s face twist slightly as she tried to focus on releasing her bladder.

Even though you couldn’t see it, you heard her huff in frustration and effort and felt the minute movements as she clenched and released her pelvic muscles, trying to start the stream. You waited patiently, your hands resting in your lap, forcing your body to relax to avoid stressing her out.

Eventually, she managed to do it, a little spurt trickling into your mouth. After that, it felt like the floodgates had opened as she started peeing more forcefully, forcing you to gulp it down hastily if you didn’t want to choke.

Urine, you’d read, tasted bitter and/or salty, depending on the diet of the individual. You’d been prepared to get used to it, knowing that you didn’t have much of a choice, but thankfully Jennie didn’t taste awful, which was probably because of her healthy diet. It just made you all the more grateful to have been assigned to her.

The stream eventually petered out, and you waited for a second to make sure she was done before pulling back, not sure if she wanted you to help clean her off. You looked up at her uncertainly and found her staring at you with a look of such sheer contentment that you couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Thank you, Y/n-ah,” she said, still looking blissed out, and you helped her get dressed before standing up. She stood up too and took your hand as she led you out of the building.

When you stepped out, you blinked, slightly disoriented. You’d barely left this place for five years, and now you were leaving for good. It felt weird – even though you knew that this day was coming, especially after you received the file on your donator, it still felt strange to be walking out like this, with Kim Jennie from Blackpink, no less.

Jennie caught your bewildered expression and paused. “Are you okay?” she asked, taking a step back so she was standing next to you again.

“Uh, yeah, just… it’s been a while since I came in,” you replied dazedly, looking up at the building. It looked so ordinary from the outside.

You didn’t have that many things, having led a fairly spartan lifestyle in the Bureau, so there wasn’t much to load up her car with. Jennie had been informed, of course – donators were expected to provide for all their recyclers’ needs, which was one reason why the income requirements for donators were so strict. You slipped into the passenger seat of the BMW, looking around with wide eyes and sitting carefully with your hands folded in your lap, not wanting to touch anything unnecessarily.

“Relax, Y/n-ie.” She laughed at you as she started the car. “Put on your seatbelt,” she reminded, pulling out of the parking lot. You buckled yourself in but continued sitting uncomfortably.

“Seriously, chill out. You’re going to be spending so much time in this car; you can’t possibly stay like that forever.”

“Okay,” you said shyly, relaxing just a little into the seat. The windows were all tinted so no one could see in, which was probably for the best, since you were not ready to be plastered all over the tabloids.

“So tell me more about yourself, Y/n-ie,” Jennie requested. “You mentioned earlier that it had been a while since you came in. When did you join the Bureau?”

“When I was fifteen,” you explained.

“Really? That’s young. I thought people could only sign up to be recyclers when they turned eighteen.”

“That’s true, but there are exceptions for extenuating circumstances, like where families are unable to provide for their children.”

“Oh,” she said awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” You could see her wincing, like she was afraid she’d said something wrong.

“No, don’t be,” you assured her. “I never had the best life anyway. It actually got better when I was emancipated from my family. I got to finish my GED and everything because I joined the Bureau.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said a little lamely, not sure how to process that. She’d always known she was fortunate to be born into a family that could afford to give her all the opportunities that had led her to where she was today but seeing the difference between her life and yours so starkly forced her to confront her privilege more directly.

She directed the conversation back to more neutral topics and the drive home passed relatively quickly. As they took the elevator up from the underground carpark, Jennie prayed with all her might that the others hadn’t decided to do something completely over-the-top and ridiculous to welcome you into their home. You already seemed overwhelmed with everything that was happening (and yeah, maybe she should have consented to letting you know her identity before today) and she didn’t want to stress you out anymore.

Thankfully, there were no streamers or anything like that, although all three of the girls were seated on the couch, eagerly waiting. When the door opened, they leapt up as one, rushing to the door. You were, of course, startled by the sight of the three celebrities all but tripping over themselves to come greet you, and hid behind Jennie, clutching the back of her shirt while you peeped at the others over her shoulder.

As annoyed as she was with the others for being so extra, she couldn’t help but enjoy the way you were clinging to her, seeking protection and comfort. This was exactly what she’d been craving her whole life, and on the day that she met you, you provided it for her so effortlessly.

“Guys,” she frowned at them, but none of them were buying it since they could all see the subtle signs of her happiness that she couldn’t quite hide. It was in the way her eyes softened slightly and the relaxed posture of her shoulders.

“Sorry,” Lisa giggled. “We were just so excited to meet our new roommate.”

“Well, this is L/n Y/n,” she introduced you, stepping aside so the others could take a good look at you. Deprived of your shield now, you seemed to fold in on yourself.

“Hi,” you said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. Your greeting was accompanied by an awkward little hand wave, and Jennie could see the rest of the girls melting over you.

“Okay, let’s get you settled in, sweetie,” Jennie butted in. You nodded and followed her to her room like a baby chick, and she busied herself with showing you around and telling you where your stuff was, trying her best to ignore the sound of the others sitting in the living room cooing and giggling to each other.

When she was done, which honestly didn’t take that long since the apartment was rather modestly sized anyway, they returned to the living room where Jennie sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and you knelt politely next to her.

“I’m hungry, did you guys order lunch yet?” she asked the others, looking at the impressive collection of takeout menus spread out across the coffee table.

“No, we thought since it’s Y/n’s welcome lunch, she could order!” Chaeyoung explained, smiling at you.

“You guys, that’s so nice!” Jennie was moved on your behalf, but you were basically frozen, staring with wide eyes down at the menus. You had no idea what to do – at the Bureau all meals had been provided (and none of you had ever had any money anyways), and back when you’d lived with your parents, takeout had been a rare luxury.

“Um, what do you like, unnie?” you immediately turned to ask Jennie, the person you were the most familiar with in the house, albeit not by much.

“You should choose what you like today, Y/n-ie!” Jennie, absolutely unhelpfully, encouraged.

“Uhhh…” You turned back towards the dizzying selection of menus. “Maybe we can just get some kimchi stew?” You went with the most simple, basic option you could think of. Your mother used to make it for special occasions, and it was one of the few good memories you had of your childhood home.

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Chaeyoung cheered enthusiastically, sweeping aside the mess to pick up the menu for her favourite stew restaurant. “What do you guys want? I’ll order it,” she asked the others, and soon all four of them were poring over the menu, their heads close together as they discussed what dishes to get.

Since you’d already chosen, you sat back on your heels, watching them. Really, for being one of the most popular groups in kpop today, they seemed surprisingly normal to you. You hadn’t known what to expect coming into their home, but they were doing their best to make you feel included and comfortable with them.

Even as you were looking on fairly contentedly, ruminating on your good fortune to have gotten such an amazing second family, Jennie reached over to your lap and took your hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. When you looked over at her, she smiled at you, trying to convey without words just how happy she was that you were here.

For the first time, you started to believe that maybe the Bureau had been right when they’d assured the recyclers that they would help them find new homes far better than the ones they’d left.

---------------------------------

After lunch, all the girls retreated back into their rooms for naps. You and Jennie ducked back into her room – well, you amended, it was your shared room now – and Jennie shut the door in Jisoo’s face as she tried to come in after them. “Sorry, unnie, but she’s my recycler,” Jennie said, giggling at Jisoo’s stunned face before closing the door.

When she turned back to you, however, her expression was a lot more uncertain. “I hope that was okay,” she said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

You smiled back at her. “No, of course not,” you rushed to reassure her.

“Oh, okay, good,” she replied with visible relief. “Um, I do have to…”

“Right, of course.” You’d watched her casually drink glass after glass of water with lunch, after all, so this wasn’t really a surprise for you. It had been a little disconcerting, sure, because you were pretty sure between the four of them they’d easily consumed a day’s worth of water for you during lunch, but then again, they were rich and famous idols, so that was to be expected.

“How do you want to do this?” you asked, though you didn’t have much hope that she had an actual answer for you, based on how lost she’d been earlier.

Predictably, she just stared at you with wide eyes. Your lips twitched. “Do you want to do this in the shower?” you offered. There were a number of positions you’d studied, but obviously you’d never tried any of them out. She nodded, and you made your way to the bathroom together.

You knelt in the shower and waited for Jennie to join you. She stepped in hesitantly, standing in front of you. “Hey,” you greeted, smiling up at her as you held a hand out for her to take. She placed her hand in it and let you pull her over. “You okay?” you asked, running your thumb across her knuckles.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling down at you. Letting go of her hand, you slipped your hands up her skirt again to pull her panties down and off. She stepped out of them, then stepped closer to you.

“You have to open your legs a little more,” you murmured, before ducking your head slightly so you could look up at her pussy. Getting the idea, she widened her stance, then frowned. It still felt awkward.

Seeing her discomfort, you shuffled back closer to the wall, then guided her into a different position. Her hands were braced against the wall above your head, and she’d raised one leg, her knee pressing against the wall for support. “Is this better?” you murmured.

She nodded, then closed her eyes, concentrating. In this position, your mouth wasn’t pressed against her, so the first spurt missed your mouth entirely, spraying your cheek and dripping down your neck. Ignoring it, you adjusted your position and came a little closer to catch the rest of it neatly. Her taste was quickly becoming familiar to you now, and as you gulped it down, your eyes wandered up to her face, catching the blissful, relieved expression she was wearing. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open, her brow furrowed slightly as she leaned her face against her arm. It was so cute that you couldn’t look away for a moment.

When the stream finally waned and then stopped, the last bit dripped against her thigh instead of falling into your mouth. You went to clean it up for her, then hesitated, not sure if she would be comfortable with it. Jennie had caught your aborted motion and asked what you were doing.

You looked up at her with an embarrassed flush. “I was, uh, going to clean it up for you,” you admitted.

She giggled at you, resting her forehead against the wall to look down more comfortably. “Go for it,” she urged, and you drew your tongue up her inner thigh, following the trail. You paused when your tongue hit the crook between her thigh and her body, and she just smiled at you encouragingly, so you continued, lapping up the droplets that clung to her.

Jennie helped you get yourself cleaned up after, then tucked you in next to her for a nap. As you drifted off to sleep, you squirmed a little closer to her, seeking her warmth and comfort.

-------------------------------------

The day that Jennie had come to pick you up from the Bureau, you quickly learned, had been a rare day off for all four of them. Most days, even if they didn’t have group activities and appearances, Jennie had her own solo appointments, like interviews, meetings with Teddy for her solo work, Chanel appearances and so on. Because you couldn’t be away from her for more than a few hours, you went with her for most of them, though you stayed behind the scenes.

Since you’d come to her with so little of your own, Jennie had been having a field day shopping for you. Whenever she was free, she’d be on her phone or laptop browsing the different shopping websites with you. At first you’d been reluctant to buy so many new things, only selecting cheap clearance items, but with her repeated encouragement, you’d gotten bolder with choosing clothes and accessories that you liked.

Today, you were dressed in a cute summery outfit, a loose V-necked blouse with ruffled half-sleeves tucked into high-waisted dressy shorts. Loafers completed your cute ensemble, and a Chanel pendant that Jennie had lent you sat between your collarbones.

Jennie was supposed to be focusing on the photoshoot, but her gaze kept drifting towards you, sitting behind the photographer and watching everything with rapt attention. After being in the spotlight for so many years, all of this was commonplace to Jennie, just another day’s work, but it was all new and exciting for you, and seeing your fascination with photoshoots and music recording was refreshing for her.

The photographer knew Jennie was distracted, but the expression she was wearing, soft and open, was far better than the neutral, slightly pouty one she usually showed the camera, so he didn’t complain or direct her attention back to the shoot. This was amazing stuff, and fans would go wild for these photos.

He’d wanted to include you in the photo shoot and tell the world about Jennie’s new recycler, but that had been strictly forbidden. Jennie wanted to be able to tell the public about her recycler on her own terms and when you were ready, and you definitely weren’t yet. It was becoming somewhat of an open secret in the industry since you followed her almost everywhere, but everyone knew that if they were the one to leak it to the public, they would be blacklisted by YG, so no one dared.

When the photoshoot ended, you went back to the dorm together, Jennie driving while you chattered on excitedly about what you’d seen at the shoot. It appeared that Jennie wasn’t the only one who thought you were adorable – the other staff members there had too and indulged your many questions. The makeup artist had even done your makeup, and you were still giggling about it when you left the shoot venue with Jennie.

Tonight, however, Jennie was a little distracted, because she was going to see Kai for the first time since she’d gotten you, and she was worried about leaving you at home. You’d started to get along well with the others, so she wasn’t concerned about that, but for the last two weeks or so that she’d had you, you’d barely left her side. Was it weird to get separation anxiety from her recycler?

When you got back to the apartment, Jisoo and Lisa were still out with their own appointments, but Chaeyoung was hanging out in the living room watching Netflix on the TV, so you skipped off to join her while Jennie went and got ready. She called you into her room before she left to use your services, and you slipped off the couch to enter her room.

By now, you’d figured out your favourite way to do this, and Jennie had bought a special chair for this purpose. You rested under the seat comfortably, your body on an incline with your head slightly back, while Jennie sat down. She’d decided that she liked it better when your mouth was pressed against her, telling you that it was because it made less of a mess but actually rather enjoying the warm, cozy feeling of your lips against her, so the chair was set up so that your face was almost peeking through the seat.

She was wearing a pretty dress, which was currently scrunched around her waist, her panties in your hand. From her position on your face, she was staring at your legs, which were stretched out across the floor. This was the position that was the most comfortable for both of you given the limitations of the chair, and even though she’d been self-conscious at first about the way you were basically looking directly up her ass in this position, you’d rightly pointed out how silly it was to get shy about that, all things considered.

You really were a godsend, she thought as she relaxed and started to urinate in your mouth. So sweet and kind to her and everyone else you were around, and really, having you around meant she didn’t have to spend as much time fighting with the other girls for access to the bathroom, which was great in itself, but this comfortable set-up felt like the epitome of luxury to her. She was starting to love the experience of pissing in your mouth, and she wondered if you were aware of just how much she liked it.

When she was done, you conscientiously licked her clean, as usual, another aspect of the whole experience that she deeply enjoyed, then she got up off your face. You smiled at her as you extricated yourself from under the chair, then held her panties out for her to step into.

“Have fun on your date tonight, unnie,” you chirped, seeing her to the front door where she put her shoes on. She gave you a hug and a forehead kiss before departing.

You returned to the couch, curling up next to Chaeyoung with your legs folded beneath you, and she unpaused the show you’d been watching. It was just the two of you tonight, since Jisoo and Lisa had plans too. You didn’t mind – after Jennie, Chaeyoung was probably your favourite. You rested your head on her shoulder as you watched the movie quietly.

When the credits started to roll, Chaeyoung switched off the TV and the two of you made your way into the kitchen to get dinner. As you were chopping up the kimchi for the kimchi fried rice, Chaeyoung, who was stir-frying the pork, struck up a conversation by asking you how your day had been.

Excited, you started chattering on about how much fun you’d had tagging along on Jennie’s photoshoot, continuing even after dinner was ready and you moved back to the living room to start eating.

Chaeyoung, who, like Jennie, was so used to photoshoots and the like that they’d completely lost their charm, thought it was absolutely adorable how excited you were about what to them were regular, daily events. When you finally wound down, she asked, “So what was it like for you growing up?”

You put down your spoon and finished chewing your food. “I didn’t come from the best family,” you explained. “I was emancipated when I was fifteen and joined the Bureau and lived there until I was old enough to come here.” Jennie knew most of the details surrounding your past, courtesy of sleepy late-night chats almost every night, but the others didn’t.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung apologized, thinking she’d brought up unpleasant memories.

You shrugged. “It’s all right. My parents tried their best, but there was never quite enough water and money. It was a relief for us all when I left, I think. And I’m here now, so it worked out,” you concluded, smiling at her.

“I guess you’ve been enjoying your time with us then?”

“What gave me away?” you giggled. “Everyone’s been really nice, especially Jennie-unnie. I’ve never had so many clothes and things.”

Chaeyoung was surprised by how happy you seemed to be. Even though recyclers were fairly commonplace, she’d always expected that they would be kind of unhappy about their lot in life. “Really? So you don’t mind the whole drinking pee thing?”

You’d just put a spoonful of rice in your mouth when she said that, and in your surprise, some went down the wrong pipe, causing you to choke and cough. “Jesus,” you wheezed when you finally recovered.

“Sorry, sorry!” Chaeyoung cringed. “That was a really personal question, wasn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged, “but it’s okay. And to answer your question, I don’t really mind, I guess. Like, I learned at the Bureau that some people taste pretty gross, but Jennie-unnie tastes okay. And it makes her so happy.”

“Yeah, it really does.” Chaeyoung had to agree. In the past few weeks since you’d come to live with her, Jennie had smiled more, and doted on you like crazy. Plus, it was clear the arrangement suited her – the satisfied smile she wore whenever you emerged from her room together had become somewhat of an inside joke among the girls.

“Are you thinking of getting a recycler of your own?” you asked, resting your chin on your hand as you regarded her. Your expression was open and friendly, and Chaeyoung hesitated, looking away shyly.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for the commitment,” she confessed.

“I understand that,” you said, nodding. You really did – a recycler was a whole person that she would be responsible for, and you knew it was a big responsibility. “I think it’s really great that you’re aware of your limitations.” You reached over and patted her hand.

With a rush of bravery brought about by how nice you were being, she finally said, in a slightly embarrassed tone, “I’ve always wanted to try it, though.”

“Try what?”

“Uh, you know…” Having utilized her store of bravery, Chaeyoung hid her face in the crook of her elbow on the table.

“Oh,” you said, then, as the meaning of her words sank in, you repeated, “Oh.”

Even though her head was resting on the table, you could see her shoulders drawing up around her ears as she let out a miserable whine, regretting having said anything in the first place. Your lips twitched in amusement. This was honestly pretty funny, and even after being here for a couple of weeks, you couldn’t believe that little old you got to see the famous pop stars like this.

“It’s okay, forget I said anything, please,” Chaeyoung begged, finally lifting her face off the table to face you.

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing at her. “No, it’s okay, really,” you rushed to assure her when you were sure you could speak without gigging. “Have you talked to Jennie about it?”

Chaeyoung shrugged. “No, why would I?”

“She might be able to tell you more about it,” you said, then hesitated before making your offer. “Plus, if she doesn’t mind, I could… you know.”

That caught her attention. “Really?” she asked, perking up.

“Yeah, if Jennie-unnie is okay with it, I guess I don’t mind,” you said, shrugging. After all, you’d been around her long enough to know what her eating and drinking patterns were like, and she seemed to have a pretty healthy lifestyle, so you didn’t have any concerns.

---------------------------------------

It was past midnight when Jennie came home, and you were already in bed, doing something on the laptop she’d gotten you last week. You looked up when you heard the door open and smiled at her when she came in.

“Did you have a good date?” you asked as Jennie set down her bag and sat at her dresser to remove her makeup.

She smiled at you in the mirror. “Yeah, I did,” she told you. It was true – Kai knew that she’d gotten a recycler since she’d been texting him with updates while he was on tour, and was interested to know how you were settling in, plus they’d had sex at his apartment after dinner, which was why she’d returned to the dorm so late.

As she went to the bathroom to shower, she thought about something weird that had happened, though. Kai had been almost too interested in you. At first she’d brushed it off, happy that he was taking an interest in you since you were now an important part of her life, but he’d kept asking intimate questions that she didn’t quite know how to answer.

Plus, she’d had to use the toilet at his apartment since she couldn’t hold it anymore, and after weeks of pissing exclusively in your mouth, it had felt strange and almost unpleasant. Would it be weird to take you along on date nights, she wondered. It was almost inevitable that you would meet at some point if her relationship with him continued, so it might be best to introduce you two anyway.

By the time she went back to the bedroom, clad in her pajamas, you’d put your laptop away and were snuggled up in bed, on the side closer to the wall. You smiled softly as she padded through the room to get under the covers next to you, turning onto your side to face her. Excitedly, you asked her for more details about your date, and she acquiesced, recounting every detail of it to her attentive one-person audience.

“Wow,” you sighed as you closed your eyes, “that’s so cool. I’ve never been on a date like that before.”

“Really? Never?” Shocked, Jennie turned onto her front and propped herself up with her elbows on the mattress so she could look down at you.

“Yeah, I went to live in the Bureau when I was fifteen, remember?” you said, opening your eyes.

“Right.” Jennie lay back down, starting to feel bad for you. If you were her recycler, chances were you’d never be able to experience many things that she took for granted.

“And you’re dating Kai from EXO too, wow,” you sighed. “I love EXO.”

“Well, maybe you’ll be able to meet them one of these days,” Jennie said lightly. Now that she knew you were excited about EXO, she felt a lot better about introducing you to her boyfriend.

“Maybe,” you said, before letting out a massive yawn.

“Okay, sweetie, good night,” she said, leaning over to kiss your forehead, before turning off the light using her phone.

--------------------------------

The next morning, you and Jennie slept in, and by the time you emerged from her room, the others were already hanging out in the living room. Jennie went to get breakfast for both of you in the kitchen while you sat on the couch with Lisa.

Chaeyoung, seeing Jennie, got up and followed her to the kitchen. After exchanging greetings and niceties, she got straight to the point, too excited and nervous to beat around the bush. Last night, she’d barely gotten any sleep from thinking so hard about your offer, and the more the thought floated around her mind, the more she found herself craving it.

“Unnie, can I ask you a question?”

Jennie, still slightly sleepy, grunted as she poured herself some coffee.

Understanding that that meant yes, Chaeyoung forged ahead. “Do you like having a recycler? Like, I mean, the actual recycling part,” she clarified.

Jennie turned to blink at her, the coffee pot still in her hand. “Are you asking me if I like having Y/n drink my pee?” she asked slowly. She wasn’t much of a morning person, and Chaeyoung could hear the gears in her head slowly grinding as she thought about the question.

“Uh, yeah,” Chaeyoung confirmed, a little abashed now as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” The thought of it put a little smile on Jennie’s face as she took her coffee and turned to lean against the counter, raising the mug to her lips.

“Great, that’s great. I was talking to Y/n-ie about it last night, and uh… I was wondering if I could try?”

“Try… what?” Jennie raised an eyebrow.

“You know…” Chaeyoung, now shy, looked down at the floor. “Recycling.”

“Oh…” After pausing to take a sip of her coffee, Jennie shrugged. “I mean, it’s her choice. If she says yes, I’m not going to stop her.”

Hearing that, Chaeyoung’s eyes lit up. “R-really?!”

Jennie blinked, not sure why she seemed so surprised. “Yeah, she’s still her own person. I can’t make these decisions for her. But only if she wants to, okay? You can’t pressure her into it.”

“No, of course not,” Chaeyoung assured her. “She was the one who offered, actually. Yay! Thank you, unnie!” she cheered. “I can’t wait to tell her about it.”

At the blatant display of enthusiasm, Jennie rolled her eyes and raised her coffee cup back to her lips to hide how cute she thought her dongsaeng’s excitement was. As much as she tried to play it cool, she could relate – she loved recycling too. It was probably a strange comparison to make, all things considered, but you’d spent more time down there with your lips pressed to her than Kai ever had, and she was starting to enjoy you cleaning her off way more than she should, given that it wasn’t necessarily an erotic act for you.

Still, she thought as she downed her coffee, that seemed like a problem for a different time, when they didn’t have to get to the studio to practice. Placing the mug into the sink to wash when they got home, she left the kitchen to eat breakfast and then get ready.

-----------------------------------------

Watching the girls practice for their new comeback was seriously the best thing that had ever happened to you, you thought as you sat in a corner of the dance studio with the dogs. You’d taken a liking to each other, and Kuma was lounging comfortably in your lap while Dalgom sat next to you, whining every time you stopped petting him.

Their comeback song was really catchy too – Teddy had really outdone himself this time, and you couldn’t wait for their comeback. It was so different, though, seeing all the behind-the-scenes prep for everything before the final product, and it gave you a way better understanding of how hard the girls actually worked.

Jennie’s skin tasted different, too, during and after dance practice, which was something you probably should have expected, but it didn’t occur to you until after she’d settled on your face, her thighs bracketing your face. Since you couldn’t bring her chair around with you, for obvious reasons, the two of you had had to figure out a more minimalist way of doing this while you were out of the house.

Since there were so many prominent people in YG, almost every room had some facilities to cater to recyclers, like a screen for privacy. It meant that Jennie didn’t have to spend as much time going to the bathroom down the hall, which did make them more efficient, because she had to pee all the time, but since the other girls didn’t have recyclers, it didn’t really help that much.

Still, it was nice taking breaks to feed you her piss. You always smiled at her, and had sweet words of encouragement, telling her she was doing a good job even if it didn’t feel like it. It was almost worrying how much she was coming to depend on you, not just for her physical needs, but for your companionship and emotional support as well.

Plus, having you lick her clean sent a little thrill down her spine every time, and that definitely helped to cheer her up. Although she shied away from thinking of it as an erotic act, it did feel a lot like unconditional acceptance, especially when she knew she was sweaty. You never even made a face, easily going with the flow (pun unintended).

It wasn’t uncommon for recyclers to form close bonds with their donators, Jennie knew. YG had many donators among its ranks – TOP from Big Bang had adopted one after he cleaned up his act enough that the Bureau considered him eligible, and his recycler, who’d been with him for three years now, was doing a remarkable job at keeping him on the straight and narrow. Being so directly responsible for someone else’s welfare had really made him more careful with his own body.

When the girls declared that it was time for a lunch break, you tagged along with them to the cafeteria. The food at the YG cafeteria was famously delicious, and you always enjoyed eating there. Plus, you got to see the trainees, idols and actors come and go, which was always fun, even if you sometimes had trouble not staring.

After lunch, the girls were going their separate ways – Jennie had to work on her solo album, Lisa was going to work on a dance collaboration, Jisoo was going to film for her new drama and Chaeyoung was off to an event. After waving goodbye to the other girls, you followed Jennie to the recording studio.

Seeing that you were alone there since you were a bit early, Jennie took the opportunity to ask you about her conversation with Chaeyoung earlier. Sitting you down on the couch, she rolled a desk chair over so she could sit facing you.

“Chaeng asked if she could try, uh…” Really, she thought, it was ridiculous how much difficulty she had talking about when it had become such a significant part of her life.

Fortunately, you remembered your conversation with Chaeyoung last night, and understood what she was trying to say immediately. “Uh-huh?” you nodded, looking at her attentively.

“She said you were okay with it, but I just wanted to check if you’re really okay. I mean, you don’t have to feel like you have to just because she’s my friend and all, and if you don’t want to I can tell her no—” Jennie was starting to ramble, so caught up in assuring you that you didn’t have to feel forced into anything because of your position in the household.

“No, I was okay with it,” you cut her off with wide eyes. “I was the one who offered. Is that what you were talking about this morning?” Come to think of it, Chaeyoung had left the kitchen in such a good mood this morning that you should have realized that something was up. You’d been playing with Lisa’s cats, though, so you hadn’t given it much thought.

“Yeah, she asked me about it in the kitchen,” Jennie confirmed. “I just wanted to check if you were okay with it.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” you said with a smile. “Oh, unless you mind,” the thought came to you suddenly. “I’ll tell her no if you don’t like it!” you rushed to assure her. You hadn’t even considered that she might have a problem with it when you opened your big mouth (again, pun unintended).

“No, no! I don’t mind. You can do whatever you’d like, of course. I won’t stop you.”

“Oh… okay. Great!” you said slightly awkwardly, not sure what else to say in this situation. Thankfully, Teddy entered the room and saved you from having to say any more.

-----------------------------------

Based on the way Chaeyoung was staring at you over dinner, you were pretty sure Jennie had already green-lighted things with her. The anticipation in her gaze was almost disconcerting in its intensity, but truth be told you were kind of flattered that she was so excited about it. Jennie had a boyfriend, so you knew that this act was nothing sexual for her, but you’d learned during your time preparing to be a recycler that for many donators, having someone consume their urine directly from the source was often an intensely sexual experience.

From Chaeyoung’s almost predatory gaze, you were fairly sure she was one of those people. Still, she hadn’t said anything to you about it, so you figured she would probably just do it and then dismiss you to take care of herself.

After dinner, you all brought your dishes back to the bucket your delivery had arrived in and left it outside the door for the delivery person to retrieve. Usually all of you went back to your rooms after dinner, but tonight, as you were about to follow Jennie back into the room you now shared, Chaeyoung grabbed your hand.

You turned, your eyes following the hand clasped around yours to the determined gaze of the girl who owned it. Biting your lip, you nodded and followed her into her room instead. As you disappeared into Chaeyoung’s room, you didn’t notice Jennie watching you.

Even though you’d been living here for a few weeks now and had seen Chaeyoung’s room from the outside, you’d never set foot in it, since there hadn’t been a reason for you to up till today. As she shut the door behind you, you stood awkwardly, wringing your hands and shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was way too excited to feel nervous, and giggled as she pulled your hands apart by grabbing one of your wrists. “Come on,” she beckoned, drawing you closer to her.

“How do you want me to do this?” you asked. Her excitement was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile back at her. You were quickly learning that there was a part of you that loved to please others.

“How do you usually do it with unnie?” She responded with another question, and you blinked at her in surprise. Somehow, you’d been expecting her to already know what she wanted – after all, she was the one who’d been so enthusiastic about this.

“Uh, you remember that new chair that was delivered?” When she nodded, you continued, “She usually sits in it and, uh, it’s a special chair so I can rest under it…”

“Right,” Chaeyoung looked around her room thoughtfully, then frowned. “I don’t think I have anything that would serve the same function.”

“Oh, you don’t have to have anything like that,” you rushed to reassure her. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a chair in the studio or anything.”

“That’s true.” She perked up at that. “So how do you usually do it?”

“Well…” you knelt down and looked up at her. “Usually she stands over me, or if we’re at the studio she sits on the couch and I kneel in front of her.” Jennie had taken to the first position you’d shown her, even after you’d tried out all the different ones the Bureau had suggested to find the ones you liked best.

“Hmm,” Chaeyoung hummed. “This doesn’t seem that comfortable, though.”

Eventually, you managed to figure something out – you sat with your back against her bed, your head resting on the mattress, while she knelt on it, hovering over your face. As she looked down at you, sandwiched between her knees, she smirked, an expression that had you clenching involuntarily. This was new, you noted with some surprise.

“You ready?” she cooed, so like the sweet, thoughtful woman you’d gotten to know and like over the past two weeks, but also different somehow, confident and enticing. Entranced by this new side of her, you nodded, opening your mouth under her pussy.

“Good girl,” she praised, smiling down at you. She was holding her shirt up slightly so she could see your face more clearly, and she let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed her pelvic muscles, starting to pee. It missed your mouth at first, landing on your forehead, and she let out a giggled “Oops!” as she readjusted herself so that she was peeing into your mouth.

You’d offered to do what you did with Jennie to minimize mess, pressing your mouth to her, but she’d declined, and now you realized why. She enjoyed the visual of the urine descending the short distance from her pussy to your mouth, relished in the power to soak your whole face if she wanted. Your eyes were focused on her core, which was still gushing, but you could hear her sighs and whispered praises.

When the stream dwindled and eventually stopped, Chaeyoung sighed like she was disappointed – and she was. She’d been holding it for hours, since lunchtime, in anticipation for tonight, and it had been over so fast. This experience had been everything she’d dreamed it would be, and she was only sad that it had ended. She had no expectation that this would be anything other than a one-time thing, since the way she’d asked you, it had seemed like a research experience.

However, you weren’t done yet. There was still the cleanup process, so you lifted your hands to her bare hips and pulled her down gently onto your face. This time, she looked down at you with some surprise, and you returned her earlier smirk right before you dragged your tongue up her slit.

“Mmm, God,” she gasped, shuddering as you continued licking her clean. “What the hell are you doing?”

Now done, you licked your lips and grinned at her. “Cleanup,” you replied in a matter-of-factly tone. “I do it all the time for Jennie-unnie too.”

“No wonder she looks so pleased all the time now,” Chaeyoung grumbled jealously, and you giggled. It hadn’t escaped your notice while cleaning her that she was wet too, her slick possessing a markedly different flavor from her piss. You weren’t that naïve, and if she was amenable, you were more than happy to help her with that too.

After all, you had Rosé of Blackpink sitting on your face right now. Who were you to throw away such an opportunity?

“I want to please you too, unnie,” you cooed, batting your lashes at her. You were somewhat surprised at where all this bravado was coming from, but she seemed to enjoy it, so you were rolling with it too.

“Ugh, you’re so sweet, who taught you to say such sweet things?” she asked.

“I’m just being honest,” you responded coquettishly before sliding your tongue through her folds again.

Chaeyoung moaned, throwing her head back luxuriantly as she widened her stance to lower herself further down on your face. “Such a good girl,” she praised, starting to rock her hips back and forth, sliding herself over your tongue.

You’d never done this before, so your movements were a little clumsy, but your sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it, as you licked and sucked at her, letting her grind down on your face as she pleased.

“Stick your tongue out for me, sweetie,” she prompted, smiling down at you when you did. She fucked herself on your tongue, sliding along it until it bumped her clit, then sinking down on it. Your tongue was inside her now, and her clit bumped against your nose. All you could smell and taste was her, and when she looked down at you, she could only see your eyes since her pussy was firmly planted on the rest of your face.

“You look so pretty like that,” she said before continuing to fuck herself on your face, her movements growing faster and choppier as she chased her orgasm. Breathy moans and gasps spilled from her lips, increasing in volume and frequency as she grew closer. “Mmf, fuck, you’re so good at this,” she cried out a second before she ground herself down harder on your face, uncaring of your need to breathe as she came.

Her sloppy movements smeared her slick all over your face and in your mouth, and when she finally lifted herself off you, you took a deep breath before grinning cheekily up at her and making a show of licking your lips. “Did you enjoy that, unnie?” you asked, and she huffed out a breathless laugh as she shuffled out of that position straddling your face and lay back against her pillows.

“You know I did,” she teased. “Now come here, I want to return the favour,” she demanded.

Immediately, your head came up off the bed and you turned yourself around so you were kneeling on the ground, facing her. “Oh, uh, no, you don’t have to, I—”

She rolled her eyes. “Come here,” she ordered, holding her hand out to you, and you had no choice but to let her pull you close. She tugged so hard you ended up falling into the pillows next to her and knocking the wind out of your lungs. You squirmed around a little so that your head was resting on her shoulder as you looked up at her.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s fine, but I really want to,” she said in a low voice. “I want to see how wet you are from eating me out so good, Y/n-ie, and make you cum all over my fingers.”

Her words had you squirming, and you breathlessly agreed. She guided you into a kneeling position so that you were straddling her hips, then dipped her hand into your shorts, her fingers ghosting over your clit. At the same time, her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you down to her.

“Do you like that?” she whispered against your lips as you shuddered. No one else had ever touched you before, and all of this was new to you. You nodded silently, biting your lip to hold back a whimper.

“Good girl, such a good girl for me,” she praised as her fingers slipped into your panties. “And so wet,” she exclaimed with delight. Dipping her fingers into your folds to collect some slick, she then started circling around your clit with slippery fingers. In response, your head fell onto her shoulder as you held on to her tightly.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” she continued with her filthy litany as she started fucking you with her fingers, letting you grind your clit on the heel of her hand. You let out a moan as you rocked your hips, feeling everything get wetter as you grew more aroused.

“Unnie, please—” you whispered, not knowing exactly what you were asking for. She knew, though, and sped up the movements of her hand.

“Are you going to cum for me? That’s right, sweet thing, cum all over my hand like a good girl,” she purred. Helplessly, you pushed your clit further into her hand and ground it in, shuddering as you came like she asked you to. She continued to work you through your orgasm, only withdrawing when you grew too sensitive.

Seeing how shiny her fingers were from the thick coating of slick on them, you flushed, but she just winked at you as she popped them into her mouth. “Delicious,” she commented, smacking her lips.

You giggled, her nonchalant attitude making it less awkward than you’d imagined it would be after everything that had just transpired. “Likewise,” you murmured, ducking back in for another kiss.

After staying there for about ten more minutes, trading kisses and flirtatious remarks, you figured it was time to go back to Jennie’s room and you said as much, slipping out of Chaeyoung’s embrace and off the bed.

“All right,” she acquiesced when you told her, yawning as she lay back in her pillows. “It was a good time, though. Do you wanna do it again sometime?”

Your hand on the doorknob, you turned to wink at her. “Definitely,” you said before leaving the room.

Jennie was sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine, when you entered, and she looked up to smile at you. “Did everything go okay?” she asked, her expression completely neutral. She knew, of course, what had just happened between the two of you. You’d been gone way too long to have just drank her piss, and the walls weren’t soundproof. She didn’t mind, but just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t been coerced into anything.

“Yeah,” you replied with a bright smile, putting her at ease.

“Good.” She stood up and started walking over to the chair. You were familiar enough with each other now that she didn’t need to say anything; you got it immediately, rushing over and kneeling on the ground to help her with her clothes, then maneuvering yourself under the chair. In light of your new experience with Chaeyoung, however, this act took a different light now.

You weren’t stupid or blind; you’d known all along that Jennie was gorgeous, and you’d been a fan of Blackpink for years before you came to live with them. You just hadn’t thought about this act in a sexual light because you knew that it wasn’t really sexual for Jennie, and you didn’t want to be that creepy weirdo. Plus, learning about the technicalities of it all in the Bureau for years kind of sucked all the joy out of it.

Jennie sat down on your face, wriggling slightly to get into the position that was the most comfortable for her. From her vantage point, the only part of your face she could see was your chin, and she wondered if this was how Chaeyoung had done it too. Not that it was any of her business, of course.

Your mouth stretched open under her, and she relaxed with a sigh, listening to the hissing sound of the pee leaving her body and the quiet noises of you swallowing. You usually held on to the edges of the seat, and today she stroked her fingers across yours. Taking the cue, you released the seat, letting her guide your hands to cling to her thighs instead.

When she was done, you licked her clean as usual, but this time you couldn’t stop thinking about how it had felt to eat Chaeyoung out until she came, and you found yourself getting a little cheeky, sliding your tongue along Jennie’s slit a little slower and deeper than usual, flicking her clit just once before you closed your mouth.

Jennie, however, didn’t seem to react, standing up looking completely composed and turning to smile down at you. You helped her fix her clothes then went to take a shower, washing Chaeyoung off your face.

Once you were gone, Jennie let out the breath she’d been holding in a long exhale, lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. She was pretty sure that had been accidental, but boy had it felt good.

-------------------------------------

It was only a couple of nights later that Jennie took you to meet Kai. She figured there was no time like the present – plus, given her reaction to what was no doubt an accident on your part, Kai needed to take his conjugal duties more seriously.

Tonight, the three of you were in the private apartment he’d bought. He still lived with the rest of his members in their dorm, but most of them had investment properties. It was handy when they needed their own space, like tonight.

In all honesty though, you weren’t sure how you felt about Kai. Sure, he was handsome and famous and you’d been a little starstruck at first, but the way he was talking to you and looking at you was making you feel a little uncomfortable. It was difficult to put your finger on it, but when he looked at you, you wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. He was just asking way too many personal, intimate questions about your experience as Jennie’s recycler.

Now that dinner was over, you were all sitting in the living room, and you were seated next to Jennie on the couch, half-curled into her, automatically seeking her protection. She too had noticed that Kai was looking at you kind of strangely all through dinner, but didn’t know what was up with him.

“So, Y/n-ie…” he said, leaning forward. You turned from Jennie to face him. “Have you enjoyed being with my Jennie?”

You looked back towards Jennie uncertainly, slightly confused about what he was asking. “Uh, yeah,” you replied when you turned back to look at him. “Jennie-unnie’s been really nice, and the other Blackpink unnies have been nice too.”

“I’m sure they’ve been,” he brushed off your answer patronizingly, “but what I mean is, have you enjoyed being with her?”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Jennie again, this time begging her to intervene. Sensing your distress, she squeezed your leg. “Oppa, Y/n-ie doesn’t understand your question, and neither do I,” she said slightly sharply.

Instead of taking the warning, Kai laughed it off. “I’m just curious, you know?” he said with a shrug. “You can’t blame me. I bet she’s closer to you than I am.”

At your clear discomfort, Jennie changed the topic and Kai didn’t turn the conversation back around to you again, not wanting to jeopardize his chances of getting lucky tonight. Eventually, he invited Jennie to the bedroom with a flimsy excuse – “please come help me with something in the bedroom” – and you remained on the couch, reading the book you’d brought with you and listening to music with the noise-cancelling headphones Jennie had specifically gotten for you while they were occupied.

After they were done, Jennie came out of the room since she had to pee. (What? It’s good to pee after sex, okay?) Since Kai was still in the bedroom, she figured it would be comfortable enough to do it on the couch, and you easily acquiesced, getting into the position you both preferred.

This time, however, when you pressed your mouth to her, Kai’s cum dripped out, thick, salty and altogether unpleasant. You tried to school your features, but even though you hadn’t been together for that long you’d made up for that with the sheer amount of time you spent together each day, and Jennie caught the grimace in the instant before you hid it.

Still, she figured, she could talk to you about it later but right now she really had to pee, so she just started going in your mouth. You were pretty much an expert at this time, so you sucked it down without any problem, but because you really didn’t want Kai’s cum to be the taste lingering on your tongue later, you licked her clean perfunctorily, avoiding her slit as much as possible.

When you were done, you pulled away quickly, hiding your distaste – or so you thought – by smiling sweetly up at Jennie, the way you usually did. “All clean,” you chirped at her.

Attempting to hide her unease, she smiled back at you before heading back to the bedroom.

Kai was still lounging in bed, his arms folded behind his head as he smiled lazily at her. He was supremely confident of his own body – and, of course, why wouldn’t he be? He looked like an Adonis. “Come back to bed, sweetie.”

Jennie, of course, was more than happy to acquiesce. She lay back down next to him and let him cuddle her close, resting her head on his shoulder. “Jennie-yah… I want to ask you something.”

“Hmm?” she said, only half-paying attention. Her eyes were sliding shut.

“Is it nice to pee in someone else’s mouth?”

Opening her eyes, she adjusted her position to look him more fully in the eye. “Everyone keeps asking me that,” she muttered. “Is everyone really so curious about it?”

He shrugged, jostling her slightly. “It is a pretty big lifestyle change,” he pointed out.

“It’s all right, I guess.” For some reason, she didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking to him about it.

Bending to kiss her temple, he said, “I’m lucky to have you.”

Jennie smiled, bemused. “Not that I’m disagreeing, but why?” she asked lightly.

“Well, you’ll let me use her too, won’t you?”

She frowned, sitting up. “I’ll let you?”

“Yeah, I mean, you let Chaeyoung-ssi use her.” He still looked nonchalant about it, like he fully expected her to agree with him.

“Oppa, Y/n-ie was the one who agreed to that. I can ask her, if you really want to.”

To Jennie’s shock, he started looking really pouty and put out, like she’d done something to offend him. “Okay… yeah, will you please ask her for me?” he finally asked.

“All right,” she accepted, hoping that he would drop the topic. The atmosphere remained somewhat tense though, like he was still upset about it, and when she left with you, he was still sulking.

----------------------------------

Jennie had worried that your experience with Kai might affect your relationship with her, especially after you’d seemed to reluctant to drink from her after she’d slept with him the other night. Thankfully, by the next morning you seemed to be back to normal, enthusiastic and conscientious when she had her morning piss.

She was so relieved (ha) that you weren’t mad at her, and so reluctant to say anything that might exacerbate the situation, that it wasn’t until almost a week later that Jennie tried to broach the topic of Kai’s request. She didn’t really want to, because it seemed like you weren’t the biggest fan of him, but she’d promised. She made sure to wait till it seemed like you were in a good mood, when the memory of Kai’s weirdness wasn’t quite so fresh in your mind.

You were already in bed when she brought it up, and she was sitting at the dresser applying her skincare. “Y/n-ah…” she started.

“Hmm?” You were starting to fall asleep, half-listening and half-floating in space.

“What do you think of Kai?”

Your eyes snapped open, suddenly awake. “He’s all right, I guess,” you said politely, not wanting to upset her.

“Okay,” she accepted, and you sat in silence for a moment longer. “Would you… be willing to lend him your mouth?” she finally asked.

Your immediate instinct was to reject the request – vehemently at that, while making a disgusted face, but the tentative expression on her face gave you pause. “Do you want me to?” you asked instead. You thought she might want you to do this as a favour for her even if you didn’t want to since Kai was her boyfriend, after all, and her approach to this might be different from how she’d treated Chaeyoung’s request.

“Well, he wanted me to ask, but I won’t force you,” she said carefully.

“But will it damage your relationship if I don’t?” You picked up easily on the silent tension. As much as you felt uncomfortable around Kai, he was Jennie’s boyfriend, and you didn’t want to sabotage it. If you had to, you supposed you could do it. Just once, as a favour.

Jennie, of course, understood immediately what you were trying to say. “That’s not your responsibility,” she said firmly. “If you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. I’m not going to force you or guilt you. Anything that happens to my relationship with Jongin-oppa is ours to deal with.”

After mulling over it for a moment, you gave her your answer. “Then I don’t want to,” you said, shrugging. “Sorry, unnie, but I don’t feel great about Jongin-ssi.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” she muttered. “He was kind of weird the other night. I’ll talk to him about it, and try to find out why.” He wasn’t usually like this around people, years of idol training and living with others giving him great people skills most of the time. A conversation seemed necessary if she was going to keep the both of you in her life.

With her skincare routine done by the end of the conversation, she got into bed next to you and turned out the lights.

“Good night, unnie,” you mumbled, squirming closer to her for cuddles, which she gladly gave you.

-----------------------------------

Since you had expressed discomfort about being around Kai, and she knew you being around would only make him more insistent on ‘trying you out’, as he put it, she decided to go on dates with him without bringing you. This decision had a few implications – first, you ended up spending a lot more time separately, which meant you were hanging out with the other girls a lot more; second, Jennie’s dates with Kai grew shorter than they had been before since now that she was used to peeing in your mouth, she never wanted to go anywhere else.

It was this combination of factors that led to a slight strain in your relationship with her. She didn’t want to say she was jealous, because she wasn’t. She was pleased that you were becoming close with the other girls, especially Chaeyoung. It just stung sometimes. Even when she was home, there were times when you would be hanging out with the others instead of her, and you were less clingy too. Some people might think that was a good thing, but in all honesty, she’d liked clingy.

As your relationship with the other girls – and your friends-with-benefits thing with Chaeyoung – flourished, it seemed like Jennie’s with Kai was headed in the opposite direction. Having to rush home after sex because she didn’t want to use his toilet was becoming somewhat of a sore point, especially since she refused to bring you to their dates. He’d also thrown a fit when she told him you didn’t want to drink him, and it had led to one of their only fights throughout the entire duration of their relationship.

“Hey, did you ask Y/n yet?” he’d prompted almost the second she got into his car.

Jennie looked at him askance. The most perfunctory greeting kiss ever, and now this? What was with this obsession? “Yeah, she didn’t seem into it,” she said vaguely, hoping that he would take the hint and drop it.

“What?!” he exclaimed instead, sounding furious. Jennie sighed. Okay, it seemed they weren’t going to go the chill, reasonable route.

Turning to look at him, she said, “She doesn’t have to, you know.” Truth be told, she was kind of put off by his attitude. Ever since he’d met you, he’d been acting like this was owed to him. Just because she had a recycler didn’t mean she was obliged to share it with anyone.

“Yeah, but you let Chaeyoung-ssi use it,” he pointed out. “I’m your boyfriend; shouldn’t I get the same rights?”

She raised a brow. “Rights?” she asked. “Chaeyoung doesn’t have a right to use Y/n’s mouth as she pleases, you know. Y/n is very much a willing participant,” she said, slightly bitterly. Okay, maybe she was slightly put out by your blossoming relationship with her dongsaeng.

“You know what I mean,” he grumbled. “You could just make her do it.”

“Make her? I don’t make my recycler do anything she wants to do. She’s not my slave,” Jennie pointed out.

“That’s not what I meant! You’re always twisting my words!”

Needless to say, that night had not gone well. Kai was still slightly sulky about it, sometimes making snide remarks about you. Truth be told, this side of him was not one she’d seen before, and she didn’t like it. Even though recycler rights were sometimes controversial, among their circles most people agreed that recyclers deserved the same rights of freedom of choice as the general population. Kai’s revelation that he was apparently not one of them was turning out to be a problem, because she now felt responsible for protecting you from him.

She hoped that tonight’s date would go better, since they’d declared a moratorium on talking about you. All day, though, she’d had to endure the giggles and sidelong glances you’d shared with Chaeyoung, and she was pretty sure you were going to be up to no good while she was gone.

She was right. You saw her off graciously as always, giving her a hug at the front door and telling her you hoped she had a good time with Kai tonight, and that you would be waiting for her. The moment she left, though, you ran through the apartment straight into Chaeyoung’s room.

“Unnie!” you cried excitedly, throwing yourself on the bed so enthusiastically that you bounced.

Chaeyoung smiled at you. You weren’t dating, but you weren’t quite friends either, and she’d definitely grown very fond of you (and your mouth) over the couple of months that you’d been living in the dorm with her. Whenever Jennie was out without you, you’d come hang out with her, and by this point you had a pretty nice routine: you’d get delivery, then maybe watch a movie with the others before retiring back to her bedroom.

Tonight wasn’t any different, and you found yourself in the living room, eating fried chicken with the others while watching a movie. Chaeyoung was drinking a lot more water than usual, looking meaningfully over at you every time she reached for her glass. You knew this was in preparation for later, so you winked back at her every time.

All this flirting wasn’t lost on Lisa and Jisoo, and by the time the movie ended, the two of them grumbled good-naturedly about how they didn’t need to see all of this as they went back to their bedrooms. You and Chaeyoung giggled together as you bade them good night, knowing that they didn’t really mind it and were just teasing.

Once you were alone, Chaeyoung immediately took your hand and pulled you closer to her, going in for a kiss as your bodies collided. You slid your hands along her hips, groping her ass shamelessly.

“Mmm, we should probably take this back to my room before we get in trouble again for leaving fluids all over the living room,” she breathed against your lips. You couldn’t agree more and let her drag you into her room by your hand.

“Strip,” she ordered once the door was shut, already following her own instructions. You laughed at her enthusiasm even though you knew you would pay for it later, pulling your shirt over your head and shucking your shorts and underwear in one fell swoop. She did the same, and almost lunged for you.

“A little eager, aren’t we?” you teased even as you lay back on the bed.

“Shut up,” she growled. “I have to pee so bad, you don’t even know.”

“You were the one drinking all that water earlier,” you pointed out as she straddled your face. She was facing your body, so your face was basically in her butt. Not that you minded. It was a very pretty butt indeed. You wanted to squeeze it some more, but she was kneeling so that her legs were resting on your shoulders, restricting your movement.

“Don’t act like you don’t love drinking my piss,” she said, sounding strained as she looked down at you between her legs.

You winked at her from the gap between her thighs. “How could I even pretend? You’re so thoughtful, making all that delicious piss for me…” you breathed, a moment before she started peeing.

The first bit of it missed and glanced off your cheek, but you knew now that it was intentional. She loved watching the way her stream found its way into your mouth after first landing on your face somewhere, and you didn’t really mind either. The stream of dirty talk that she kept up the whole time was getting to you, and even as you gulped down her piss, your hips were rocking into the mattress slightly, seeking out that little bit of stimulation.

Chaeyoung noticed and leaned forward to pull your legs apart, which caused her pee to splash against your forehead instead. You made a noise of protest and she readjusted with a giggle, sinking a little lower so that her pussy was closer to your face.

“Mmm, it feels so good to pee for you, sweetie,” Chaeyoung groaned as the last of her urine dripped out.

“I’m glad you enjoy it, unnie,” you giggled. She widened her stance further to lower her pussy to you, and you eagerly started lapping at it. Meanwhile, she was holding your legs open and licked a broad stripe down your slit, from your clit to your tight, clenching hole.

“Mmf—” you let out a muffled groan into her slick flesh. She’d never done this before, and you were a huge fan. No wonder she got so crazy when you’d licked her for the first time.

You were busily eating each other to orgasm when the door swung open without any warning. At first, neither of you paid any heed, until you heard the disgusted exclamation coming from the entrance.

“My God!” Jennie cried out as she opened Chaeyoung’s bedroom door, only to come face to face with a more direct view of her member’s asshole than she’d ever wanted to see. Taking a step back, she turned away. “Y/n-ah, can you come here for a second?” she asked, directing her question at the hallway.

Now aggravated beyond all bearing, you groaned. “Unnie, can this please wait?” Not only were you busy, you really didn’t want to stop what you were doing right now to eat Kai’s creampie.

“No, it can’t,” she snapped, irritated. She’d been holding it since she left, and she needed to pee now. And how dare you talk back to her like that, anyway? Had you forgotten why you were even here to begin with?

“Fine,” you capitulated, sensing that this wasn’t the hill to die on. “Give me a minute, I’ll meet you in your room.”

With that, Jennie stalked off, and you sighed, tapping Chaeyoung’s hip to make her get off. “Sorry, unnie,” you apologized as you got up and started putting your clothes back on.

“It’s all right,” she excused graciously. “She seemed like she was in a mood, though. We might need to take a rain check.”

You pouted back at her as you started walking backwards towards the open door. “I don’t wanna,” you whined. “I’ll be right back?”

“Okay,” she chuckled, and you were on your way.

You arrived in the room you shared with Jennie to see her already pacing impatiently in front of the chair. “Hey, unnie,” you greeted as you sank to your knees to help her strip. You were obviously distracted and in a rush to get back to Chaeyoung, and moved quickly to get under the chair.

As Jennie sat down slowly, she caught a glimpse of your grimace, and anger flared through her, but first she needed to take care of her needs. Perhaps pettily, she sat without care and started peeing even before she was sure that you were in position, causing you to have to squirm under her to prevent a huge mess.

When she was done, you licked her clean as quickly as you could, and she felt a stab of irritation – she refused to acknowledge it as jealousy – that you could eat Chaeyoung out so enthusiastically but were now so reluctant to even clean her up. She stood up and scowled down at you as you got out from under the chair.

“What’s wrong with you today?” she asked snippily. Perhaps not the best way to start this conversation, but she was too angry to care.

You looked up at her in surprise. “Nothing, why?” you asked. If anything, you thought, you should be the one who was annoyed. You didn’t know what it was, but she’d been so eager that she’d started even before you were in the right position, and there was urine all over your face and neck, some even dripping into your hair.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you giving me an attitude,” she accused. “Every time I come back from Kai’s you act like this. I’m sorry if you dislike my boyfriend—” her tone of voice was most decidedly not sorry “—but you’re being so unreasonable! What are you, jealous?”

Your temper flared for the first time since you’d been living here. “Jealous?!” you scoffed. “Of your relationship with that ignorant manchild? I don’t think so. Sorry,” you sneered, turning it back onto her, “that I don’t like to eat Kai’s cum out of your pussy every time you fuck him. I’m your recycler, but I don’t need to be treated like that.”

With that, you stormed off to wash her piss off your face and body from where it had trickled before you’d managed to get your mouth firmly over her. Jennie, on the other hand, lay on the bed, feeling incredibly guilty for blowing up at you just now. She hoped you’d come back soon so that she could have a proper conversation with you about just now.

------------------------------

You ended up spending the whole night with Chaeyoung. Even though you weren’t exactly in the mood to continue your exploits with her after your fight with Jennie, she was happy to welcome you into her room and gave you lots of cuddles, letting you rant patiently until you wore yourself out and fell asleep.

In the morning, you were still reluctant to leave the room and face Jennie, preferring to continue sulking in Chaeyoung’s bed. Unfortunately, nature called, and she dragged you out of the room for breakfast. You were surprised to see that Jennie was already in the living room, and when she saw you walking out, she immediately stood up and called your name. “Y/n, can we talk?”

Not in the mood to be reamed out again first thing in the morning, you responded coolly. “I’m hungry, can this wait until after breakfast?”

Chaeyoung, standing behind you, nudged you. She could see in Jennie’s expression and body language how much the fight with her recycler had bothered her and felt kind of bad for her even though she did think that Jennie had been out of line in what she’d said to you last night.

“Fine,” you grumbled.

“Thank you,” Jennie said quietly before turning and walking into her room. You followed, closing the door behind you but standing right in front of it.

“Y/n-ie, please,” Jennie pouted at you, patting the bed next to her. Obviously, you couldn’t resist that look, so with a put-upon sigh, you crossed the room to sit next to her.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she said. The unexpected apology threw you for a loop, and you blinked at her, speechless. “I shouldn’t have said those things and accused you. That was rude of me.”

“Uhh…” you managed to get out, sounding, of course, like the most articulate genius who had ever roamed this earth.

“And I’m sorry for getting in the way of your, um… relations with Chaeng. I should have been more respectful, and I support your relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” you murmured. It was the only thing your mind could focus on at the moment.

“You’re not?” Jennie blinked.

“No, we’re just, um… friends with benefits, I guess,” you clarified.

“Oh.” Then, after a beat of silence, “Well, it’s none of my business anyway. I just want you to know that I think you deserve your privacy, and I was really rude last night.”

Feeling bad now, you reached over to take her hand. “Unnie, don’t say that. Of course it’s your business. You’re still my donator and I want us to be close too. I promise to be more open about it with you, okay?”

She made a face. “Not that open, I hope. I’m still traumatized from seeing Chaeng naked.”

You giggled. “You’ve lived together for years! You don’t mean to tell me you’ve never seen her naked before?”

“I never had to stare straight up her asshole before,” Jennie countered, causing the both of you to erupt in fits of laughter.

“Duly noted,” you conceded past giggles. “You seemed like you were in a bad mood last night too, unnie. Is everything going okay with you and Kai?” you asked with some concern.

She made a face. “It’s okay. He’s just having trouble adjusting to me having a recycler,” she explained. Last night they’d gotten into yet another argument over you – specifically, over her refusal to simply command you to get on your knees and drink his piss just because he wanted it. She didn’t quite understand why it was so hard for him to accept that you were a person, and she wasn’t about to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.

Almost against her will, she started comparing Kai to you, even though she knew that was an unwise idea that was sure to have no good consequences. You, who was always there for her with your big eyes and big smile and a hug every time she felt bad, who knew the best and worst parts of her and didn’t shy away. It was unreasonable for her to expect the same of Kai, who was busy all the time with his own career and who obviously wasn’t as comfortable with her body as you were.

“I’m sorry I’m causing problems in your relationship, unnie,” you said, your eyes filled with remorse.

“No, it’s not your fault,” she rushed to assure you, pulling you into a hug. “He’s just being a dick right now.”

“I’m sorry for being mean last night too, unnie,” you apologized, looking at her with those wide, sad eyes that she couldn’t resist.

“It’s okay, baby, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize how unpleasant that whole experience was for you,” she said, making a little face. It hadn’t even occurred to her, but now that she thought about it, she realized how it would have been pretty gross for you, especially if you didn’t particularly like Kai. “I’ll talk to him about it to figure something out, okay?”

Your face was buried in her neck, but she felt your nod anyway.

---------------------------------

Perhaps she should have expected that the demise of her relationship would come soon after she started comparing you with Kai in her head. After all, there was no way he could have won that competition, even if he’d been the nicest man alive – which he definitely wasn’t.

Still, she hadn’t expected her relationship to end quite so soon and so abruptly. Sitting in the driver’s seat of her car in the basement carpark of Kai’s private apartment, she was crying too hard to be able to drive safely.

The night had started relatively well – Kai was on his best behavior after their fight the other night, and they’d had a nice dinner together. After that, however, when they retired to the bedroom, was when things started going downhill. Out of consideration to you, Jennie had brought a box of condoms that she tried to convince Kai to use, and he didn’t take it well, to say the least.

“What is this? Are you accusing me of something? We haven’t used condoms in months!” he said irritably, knocking the box out of her hands.

“Oppa, please, it’s not like that!” she pleaded.

“Then what is it? Are you off birth control?” he demanded.

“No… the IUD is still in,” she said meekly. YG had made them all get them before debut so that they wouldn’t accidentally get pregnant, even if they were having secret relationships.

“Then tell me why!”

“Why does there have to be a reason?! Isn’t it enough that I want you to use them? It’s my body too!” she yelled, getting defensive.

“I’m not saying no, I just want to know why!” he rebutted.

“Fine,” she said, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Y/n doesn’t like it when you leave your load inside me. It drips out after and she doesn’t like how it tastes.” She’d been hoping that the explanation would be enough, and they could get on with their night, but he grew even more angry at hearing the reason.

“Y/n?!” He exploded. “Who the fuck cares what she thinks? She’s your recycler, for God’s sake, not your girlfriend!”

“Oppa, please, she’s still my responsibility and we’re going to be together for a long time! I just don’t want to make her upset!”

“No, you don’t, so you’d rather sacrifice our relationship!”

“Our relationship? Oppa, please be reasonable, it’s just one little thing!”

He stopped short and looked at her somberly. “It’s not,” he told her. “You’re literally putting your recycler above me, above our relationship. You think her happiness is more important than mine.”

“It’s not! Oppa, please!” she begged, tears in her eyes.

“If you insist on the condoms… we’re over, Jennie-yah. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t prioritize me in her life.”

The ultimatum took her aback, and she stared at him with wide eyes for a minute, silently begging him to take it back, to explain that he’d just said that in the heat of the moment, and he didn’t actually want to end their relationship. But he didn’t, sitting down heavily on the bed instead and looking away from her.

Sadly, she began to collect her things from the room. “I didn’t want it to end like this, oppa,” she said softly.

“I know.” That was the last thing he said before she left.

With her vision still blurry from the tears, Jennie fumbled in her bag in the passenger seat to get her phone. She needed to hear your voice.

“Hello?” You picked up almost immediately, having had your phone next to you while you ate with Chaeyoung and Jisoo. Lisa was at the studio again practicing for a dance shoot. “Unnie? What’s up?”

Jennie sniffled. Hearing that, your mind shot into overdrive. “Unnie? Are you okay? Are you crying? Where are you?”

Right. Words were necessary. “We broke up,” was all she could say, though.

It was enough. You stood up so quickly that both Jisoo and Chaeyoung looked over with concern. “What? Are you still at his place?”

Jennie nodded, then realized you couldn’t see it. “Carpark,” she confirmed. “Can’t drive.”

“Okay, you just wait there, okay, unnie? We’ll come get you,” you assured her.

“Okay,” she sniffled, but didn’t want to hang up. “Y/n-ie? Can you stay on the phone?”

“Of course,” you promised. “Just give me a sec, okay?” She put the phone down and quickly explained what was going on to Jisoo and Chaeyoung, then the three of them got up and drove over to Kai’s apartment complex. On the way, you stayed on the phone with Jennie, continuing to talk to her about nothing while she just listened, letting you distract her.

You had some trouble with the security at the building, since of course they weren’t about to let some random people into the apartment complex, but since both Chaeyoung and Jisoo were in the car, they figured nothing bad could happen and finally let you in after you promised that you were just there to pick up someone.

It wasn’t difficult to spot Jennie’s car in the parking lot, since it was fairly empty, and you got out of the car and sprinted to her, pulling open the door on the driver’s side and peering in. Jennie was hunched forward, her hands grasping the top of the steering wheel and her forehead resting on her hands, and she turned to look up at you when she heard the door open.

“Y/n-ie—” she managed to get out, before bursting into tears again.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you soothed, leaning in to give her an awkward hug and stroking her back. “Let’s get into the backseat, okay? Jisoo-unnie can drive your car home.”

Sniffling, Jennie nodded, climbing out of the driver’s seat and into the back. You followed after her, shutting the door, and Jennie immediately lay down with her head in your lap.

As you stroked her hair, Jisoo got into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine, starting the drive home. Chaeyoung followed in her own car.

Jennie continued crying for a while, then seemed to fall into a light doze while you draped your arm around her. You had to wake her up to get her back into the apartment, but you hadn’t let go of her the entire time, offering support and physical comfort where words failed you.

------------------------------------

Over the next few days, all the girls seemed to coalesce around Jennie, giving her hugs and making sure she was eating and drinking. The difficult part about being an idol was that even though she felt like shit about her breakup, she still had to go to fan meetings, interviews and events, acting like she was happy and chipper and that nothing was wrong.

It was during those times that she sought your support the most. You were always there in the wings or in the audience, milling around with the staff and sending her encouraging smiles and gestures whenever you saw her looking at you. During breaks and between commitments, you would always be by her side, holding her hand or giving her cute hugs and telling her what a great job she was doing.

Even as time passed and she started to get better, she continued to rely on your encouragement, which you eagerly gave. Your relationship grew closer than ever, and Jennie would have been pleased if she hadn’t been so confused. She’d initially wanted a recycler for the sisterly relationship she thought she could foster, but even though you were doing all the things she’d expected and hoped for, she didn’t think of you as a sister.

Instead, she found herself looking at you while you were doing other things, admiring the way your lashes rested against your cheekbones and the focused furrow of your brow. The times of day when she would seek you out because she had to pee became her favourite, purely because she had your entire attention.

Okay, that was a lie. She was starting to love the inherent eroticism of the act, even though that had never been something she’d considered before. The feeling of your lips caressing her slit, your eyes looking up at her with such joy and devotion even as she was peeing in your mouth, the conscientious way you always licked her clean after… she hoped you weren’t noticing the way she would bite her lip when she felt your ministrations on her.

Once, on a really hard day when she’d been at an awards show that included EXO, you’d been extra sweet to her when she decided she couldn’t take it and excused herself to go to the restroom. You’d found her in a deserted corridor, pacing around with her hands on her hips.

“Unnie?” you called, skipping over to her. “You okay?”

“Oh,” she relaxed as she looked up and saw you. “Yeah, I’m fine, sweetie. Just a little stressed out from everything.”

Reaching her, you gave her a hug that she gratefully sank into. “I’m sorry, unnie. Just a little longer, okay? Fighting!”

Pulling back to look her in the face, you were surprised when she instead leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re always so good to me, Y/n-ie.”

You giggled bashfully. “It’s the least I could do, unnie. You’re always so thoughtful of me! I just want to make you happy too.”

Your cuteness made her want to hug you more tightly, but the urgent needs of her body had to take precedence for now. She let you go and pulled back, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Stress drinking water was really not the way to go when at an awards show, she admonished herself.

“You look like you’re in a bit of a state there, unnie,” you teased even as you dropped to your knees in front of her.

“Oh, shut up,” she groaned, leaning against the wall and throwing her head back as you pulled her panties and safety shorts down. The short dress she was wearing may look impractical, but it was actually immensely helpful for situations such as this.

“It’s okay, unnie,” you soothed as you stroked her hip, shuffling closer. “I’ve got you,” you said right before pressing your lips to her pussy, your mouth open to catch her urine.

The feeling of your soft, warm lips on her pussy and the tender, reassuring words you said right before you put them there was almost too much for Jennie, and she had to close her eyes to regain composure before she did something ridiculous like try to grind her clit against your face. Focus, she reminded herself sternly. She wasn’t going to be one of those donators who exploited her recycler, someone who was in a position completely dependent on her.

By this point, peeing in your mouth was as natural to Jennie as using a toilet had been in the past, and it didn’t take any effort at all for her to start the stream. She let out a big sigh of relief as pee started jetting out of her. She’d really had to go, and the feeling of letting it out was almost euphoric, making her shudder with how good it felt.

Your gaze drifted up to her face, her brow slightly furrowed and her mouth open as she continued peeing in your mouth. You were gulping it down as quickly as possible, trying desperately to keep up with her stream, but you couldn’t help but notice how sexy she looked like that. You could almost imagine her making that face for a different reason, and slightly embarrassed at the direction that your thoughts had taken, you lowered your gaze once again.

As you did so, Jennie opened her eyes and looked down at you, struck by the view. You looked completely focused on your task of drinking the pee she’d held in her body for so many hours. Was there a purer expression of devotion, of care, than this? The last of her pee drained out of her into your mouth, and you smiled up at her before licking her clean.

This time, you took extra care to get every bit, swirling your tongue gently as you lapped at her core. When you were done, you pressed tender, wet kisses to either side of her, then one directly over her clit, gazing up at her as you did so. She definitely deserved a little bit more love today. Kai had been staring at her the entire time, and you knew she was stressed.

When you were done, you helped her back into her clothes silently. “Shall we head back, unnie?” you asked with a smile.

“You go ahead,” she demurred. “I need a minute before I can go back in there.” She intentionally phrased it so you’d think she was talking about Kai, and you squeezed her arm sympathetically before leaving her, licking your lips clean as you went.

When she thought about what she’d done next instead, she still flushed. Instead of cooling off, she all but ran into the restroom down the hall, a room she’d honestly thought she’d never have to set foot in again, and had her hand in her panties the moment the stall door clanged shut. With one hand frigging herself desperately and the other covering her mouth to make sure no errant noises escaped, she brought herself to a hasty, unfulfilling orgasm. It didn’t matter, though. It was enough to cool her blood for the time being.

After washing her hands and cleaning up, Jennie returned to the awards ceremony, where Jisoo immediately draped an arm around her shoulders and started stroking her hair comfortingly. You must have told the other girls that she’d been having a hard time with Kai here, she thought. She appreciated your concern, but it really made things all the more awkward for her when instead of freaking out about it, she’d been off masturbating to the thought of you drinking her piss and eating her out.

The situation eventually grew more serious, to the point that Jennie was sure she was doing a piss-poor (ha) job at keeping it a secret. How was she supposed to get her head on straight when you literally had your mouth on her cunt multiple times every day?

---------------------------------

You could, in fact, confirm that Jennie wasn’t keeping her growing attraction to you under wraps. It wasn’t her fault – she couldn’t exactly help the fact that she was often wet when you got on your knees from her. You could literally see the arousal shining on her pussy before she covered your face with it, and the way the slick smeared on your face was kind of a dead giveaway.

Still, you didn’t say or do anything because you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, trusting that she would speak up if she wanted to. It would only make things awkward if you pushed her before she was ready. After all, if she turned you down or denied it, you’d still be stuck to her 24/7, for the foreseeable future.

No, it was better for things to remain the way things were, you determined.

Despite your better judgement, however, you were still a little shit at heart and took pleasure in riling Jennie up and possibly hinting to her that you’d be open to a development in your relationship. You were getting increasingly bold with the liberties you took under the guise of ‘cleaning her’, sometimes even giving her clit a naughty little suck just to ‘get it all out’, or sliding your tongue so deep along her slit that you could taste her arousal.

She never broke though, even though you could feel the minute movements sometimes as she rocked her hips slightly in response to your ministrations, and she often ran off right after getting up off your face, probably to masturbate somewhere. Every time she did, you’d sigh and lick your lips clean, wishing she would let you help with that too.

Chaeyoung, predictably enough, found the whole thing hilarious. Having a front-row seat to your mutual crushes on each other was seriously top-notch entertainment, she thought, especially since you were both so utterly oblivious about your feelings. As your feelings for Jennie grew, you stopped seeking Chaeyoung out for sex, and your relationship instead mellowed into a tightly knit friendship. There were no hard feelings on either side, since Chaeyoung had mostly been in it for the sex anyway. Being a gay idol was really hard, and you’d provided physical and emotional support for a period of time.

These days, you mostly hid in Chaeyoung’s bed to whine about Jennie and cuddled her when she felt like she would never find a girlfriend, given the restrictions on her life as long as she was an idol. Jennie, however, didn’t know that, and increasingly was filled with jealousy whenever you disappeared to look for Chaeyoung. Once, when she’d seen pictures of a wedding between two of her cheer teammates, you’d ended up spending the whole night with her as she cried.

Jennie tried to be understanding – she knew that she didn’t own you, and that Chaeyoung was clearly going through something. But she was going through something too, god dammit, and she wished you would cuddle her and kiss her forehead and tell her it was all going to be okay the way you did with Chaeyoung sometimes on the couch.

Well, it would be difficult for you to do that with her since her issue was that she was falling for you, but still.

Chaeyoung was fully aware of Jennie’s jealousy, too. It wasn’t like she was even trying to be subtle about it, looking over and sighing or pouting whenever she saw the two of you wrapped up cozily together.

Eventually, when it got boring for Chaeyoung to deal with the longing, sidelong glances and wistful sighs, she finally decided to talk to Jennie about you.

Predictably enough, Jennie was reluctant, but Chaeyoung had, by this point, had years of experience prying secrets out of her older member, and was now adept at it. Call her the Jennie whisperer, she thought to herself as she invited Jennie for coffee, just the two of them, like they’d used to as trainees when Lisa and Jisoo were off doing whatever it was the two of them did alone.

Sipping her iced coffee, Chaeyoung eyed Jennie, noting the sadness she thought she was hiding as she stirred the sugar into her drink. “Unnie, are you okay? You just seem really down lately,” she prompted the older girl.

Jennie looked up in surprise, then relaxed. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just Kai, y’know?”

“Unnie, that was months ago! What’s really bothering you?” Chaeyoung pressed.

Abruptly becoming defensive, Jennie’s shoulders drew up around her shoulders. “Nothing’s bothering me,” she said.

“All right,” Chaeyoung accepted, though it was clear from her raised brow that she didn’t believe her. “I’m glad we got to do this, unnie,” she continued with a smile. “We never get to spend time together anymore, just the two of us.”

“That’s true,” Jennie agreed. “We’re always so busy these days…”

“Yeah, and Y/n is always hanging around you too…”

It was like a cloud abruptly formed over Jennie’s head when she heard your name. “She’s not always hanging around me,” she muttered with some bitterness. Sometimes she was spending time with Chaeyoung, after all. It was just a little bit annoying for the person who’d been stealing time with her own recycler to be saying that.

“Unnie, come on! She never leaves your side,” Chaeyoung laughed. She was intentionally goading Jennie, but the older girl seemed to be falling for it hook, line and sinker without even realizing that she was being played.

“That is so not true,” Jennie huffed. Her jealousy got the better of her, and she snapped, “She’s always hanging around you these days.”

A beat of silence, then Chaeyoung said with delight, “Unnie, are you jealous?”

“What? N-no!” Jennie denied, flustered now. “Why would I be jealous? She’s just my recycler. She can sleep with whoever she wants.”

“Wait, who said anything about sleeping together? I thought we were talking about just hanging out.”

“We were, I mean—oh, fuck.” Caught red-handed, Jennie slumped miserably onto the table in front of her, hiding her face from her dongsaeng.

“You know, you should really just talk to her,” Chaeyoung said, uncaring of Jennie’s dramatics.

“I can’t,” Jennie protested, her voice muffled. “I have to be responsible for her. She’s going to think that I’m trying to pressure her.”

“Unless…” Chaeyoung trailed off, and Jennie raised her head to look at her.

“Unless?” she asked.

Chaeyoung winked. “Maybe she feels the same way about you.”

-------------------------------

Now that Chaeyoung had planted that thought in her mind, Jennie couldn’t stop thinking about it. She saw hints of it in the way you happily ran to give her a hug when she came home, the way you snuggled up to her at night, and in all the thoughtful little gestures that showed how much attention you paid to her. You brought her snacks and water during her meets and shoots when they ran overtime, and always encouraged her during practice and recording sessions.

As much as she tried not to overthink it, it was impossible not to read into the little ways you made her feel special especially when you were drinking from her. The cozy way your face nestled into her ass when she sat on the chair, or the almost reverent, worshipful way you looked up at her when she stood over you, the way you licked her clean so slowly and thoroughly that there was no way you were oblivious to how wet she became, and those sweet, soft kisses you’d taken to littering on her pussy when you were done licking her.

There was no way you’d do all that unless you felt some type of way for her, right?

Despite Chaeyoung’s intervention and her own increasing desire for more between the two of you, it actually took a rather embarrassing mistake on her part to force her hand.

Since she’d broken up with Kai, she’d entered somewhat of a sex drought, which meant it was easier than ever for you to turn her on, something you took pleasure in doing, especially at home on days when she didn’t have any schedules. She knew this, and yet she could never bring herself to stop you by getting up before you were done ‘cleaning’ her, always hungry for more.

On this particular day, your face was under her on the chair when she made the mistake of looking down at you between her legs. She could only see the lower half of your face, of course, yet the sight of your tongue so eager to please was definitely her new kryptonite, she decided on the spot. As you licked a stripe from her clit to her asshole, she shuddered and let out a soft moan, rolling her hips slightly to get more friction.

A second later, she paused and stiffened, hoping that you hadn’t heard that.

Unfortunately, from your giggle, she knew that was not the case, and started to rise, intending to beat a hasty retreat. Before she could get up, however, your arms shot out, grabbing her by the hips. “Unnie,” you whined.

“Y-Y/n,” she stammered, trying harder to shake off your grasp and stand up. Eventually, you let her, but when she turned back to look at you, you were pouting up at her through the hole in the seat.

“Unnie, don’t you want me to finish?” you asked.

“You— I— what?” Reduced to stammering now, she started backing away from you, and you hastily got out from under the seat to sit on the ground.

“I mean, I knew that you were liking it more than you wanted to admit,” you told her, your eyes wide with sincerity. “I don’t mind helping you out, you know.”

“But… but Chaeyoung…” Jennie was grasping at straws now.

You shrugged. “We haven’t slept together in months, unnie. I want this,” you said, leaning forward. “If you’re okay with it, that is.”

“Wait… what is it you want exactly?” She didn’t think she could handle just being friends with benefits with you, even if her libido was screaming at her to take what she could get.

“I want to be your recycler… friend… girlfriend, if you want…?” You peeked up at her from under your lashes, nervous now from laying all your cards on the table.

“Really?” She knelt on the floor to look you in the eye properly. “You really want that? You’re not just saying it because you think I do?”

“You do?” Surprise coloured your tone. “I thought you were just horny after your breakup.”

Jennie flushed. “Well, I mean, there is that,” she coloured. “But no… I really do have feelings for you. It’s probably part of why my relationship with Jongin-oppa didn’t work out.”

You giggled. “Well, if you don’t mind… I’d love to give this a shot,” you confessed.

“I would love that too,” Jennie breathed, leaning in to kiss you, because she needed to occupy her mouth with something before she blurted out something stupid, like that she loved you.

To her surprise and displeasure, however, you leaned back when it became clear what she was trying to do. “Wait, wait! Don’t you want me to brush my teeth or something?” you asked, clapping a hand over your mouth.

She laughed. “I don’t care, silly,” she said, pulling you closer with a hand on the nape of your neck. With that out of the way, you eagerly draped your arms around her neck and pulled her close for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and everything you’d dreamed of with her… until she broke away to pull you to her bed.

“Moving a little fast there, aren’t you, unnie?” you giggled as she straddled you. She hadn’t put her clothes back on, so she was wearing only a shirt.

“You’ve been teasing me for months,” she complained as she leaned down to kiss you again, this one deeper and filthier, leaving you breathless.

“Fair enough,” you said, letting her pull your shirt off. You retaliated by stripping hers off too, and then she shuffled down to take care of your shorts and panties. “What do you want to do?”

She moved with a sense of purpose and drive that indicated she’d thought about this a lot, shuffling up to your face and straddling it, facing your body. Leaning forward, she pulled your legs apart and ran her fingers along your soaked slit before raising her fingers to her mouth. “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw Chaeng on top of you,” she growled before lowering her pussy to your face.

You ate her out ravenously, excited after all those months of stolen moments where you gradually pushed the limits to see where she would draw the line. You already knew how she tasted, but you wanted her to use you for her pleasure, grind on your face and moan and scream when you made her feel good.

Diligently, you lapped at her clit, experimenting with different strokes and speeds until you found one that seemed to make her go crazy. She dropped her head, pressing her cheek to your thigh for a few seconds before regaining composure and redoubling her efforts to make you cum. Of course, this was a competition she was bound to lose, since you’d had a head start earlier.

“Unnie, your cunt tastes so good,” you moaned into her core between the sucking and licking. “Your piss is so fucking tasty too, I love it.”

Your nasty words spurred her on, and she ground her pussy against your face, groaning at the stimulation on her clit. “Fuck, you feel so good,” she huffed, forgetting about your pleasure as she chased her own relentlessly. “Such a nasty little slut for me, aren’t you?”

Since it didn’t seem like she had the bandwidth to, you took over stimulating yourself, rubbing at your clit with your fingers. “Yeah, I’m your dirty slut, unnie,” you gasped, before sucking her clit into your mouth and flicking it with your tongue repeatedly. The movement sent her stratospheric and she cried out as she came, gushing cream straight into your mouth.

“Oh, God,” she exhaled shakily when it was over, lifting herself off your face. “You’re such a good girl,” she praised, her fingers sliding along your cunt again and knocking your hand out of the way as she began fingering you in earnest, wanting to pay you back for the orgasm you’d just gifted her.

“Ah, unnie,” you moaned, your hips rising off the bed as you chased her touch. “That feels so good, yes, yes—” Your eyes closed, and you gasped, small, choked cries leaving your mouth as you came, clenching down on her fingers. She worked you diligently through it, only pulling her hand away when you started to make small noises of pain as overstimulation set in.

“That was so good, unnie,” you said in a soft, tired voice as she collapsed on the bed next to you. Pulling her close, you nuzzled your nose against hers.

“Likewise,” she smiled before her lips met yours in a kiss, this one chaste and sweet after your mutual lust had been slaked.

“Thank you for giving us a shot,” you murmured, closing your eyes in contentment.

“No,” she corrected you, wrapping her arms around you. “Thank you for being mine.”

You knew what she meant, and your lips lifted in a small smile. You would always be hers, and she would never forget to appreciate it. Neither of you were willing to call it love yet, but you knew that would come. There was no rush – you were her recycler, you’d always be together.

#kwritersworldnet #ksmutclub #blackpink smut #blackpink scenarios #girl group scenarios #jennie smut #rose smut

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strwberrytae · 4 years ago

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So Long, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now -

“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.” - Lang Leav

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Hello, You ♡ Yes, You. You ethereal, beautiful being. I am writing to you with bittersweet yet wonderful news - depending on the perspective. I am writing this post to inform all of you that I will no longer be writing for this blog for the foreseeable future. What I mean by that is that I am not giving up writing forever, no. But my life has changed so much over the last two years, I do not see myself writing again for quite some time. But don’t worry! I will be back!

Below the Read More section, I have poured my heart and soul into the real reasons why I’ve made this decision. I warn you, it’s lengthy but it’s everything that has led up to this over the years. So, if you fancy, have a read. If not, I bid you farewell and wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for supporting me so far. I truly appreciate it and love you all very dearly. Now, if you wish to read it at a later time, I will have a link available on my page at all times for anyone who is curious. It’s a hell of a story if you ask me ~

Edit: Made by Me - also, a surprise photo at the end Warnings/Triggers: Talks of emotional abuse, depression, and suicide but also happiness and love -

When I first started this blog, it was 2016. I had been on Tumblr for over a decade now but BTS led me to writing passionately for 2 years. I was incredibly active and utterly consumed by this website. Not just for the writing, but I was so obsessed because of my friends and mutuals that I made along the way. Can I just say that I’ve met some incredible people on this platform - including my best friend and soulmate? Truthfully, the absolute best friend I have ever had. But more importantly, Tumblr was my greatest escape. I mean this website truly has been my saving grace through very dark times.

In that part of my life, I was in an extremely toxic relationship; by then, it was 6 years I was with him. He was emotionally abusive, had such a short-fuse temper, hated everyone I knew which led me never really seeing any of my friends after college, knew I was anorexic and did nothing to stop me, knew I had depression since we started dating and always argued it as if it wasn’t real, crushed my dreams and ambitions, mocked potential suicide attempts, expected me to just abandon all hope to ever leave home to explore someplace new or get a job that I actually love. He was...just the worst. Never hit me though, so I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I wish he would so it would have given me the voice I needed to get out of that relationship much sooner than I did. But regardless, because of him plus having a soul-sucking job that wore me down to the core, Tumblr was my escape. BTS was my escape.

I fell hard and I fell deep. I created a fantasy world within this world. All of my dreams, fantasies, desires, and hopes were poured into my writing. My imagination was running wild. My activity was through the roof because I was always on here day in and out, just pretending like the outside world didn’t exist. It consumed me...but I needed it. Looking back, it was pretty excessive. At the time, I seemed perfectly normal because everyone else was just as active and saying the same things and doing the same things. I felt a belonging, like I fit in.

But I hated the person I became. It took me getting yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, and belittled by my ex to snap me out of that illusion I built and back into reality. That was the roughest night that we had filled with lots of screaming on his end and crying on my part. He thought my obsession was sick. He thought it was disgusting. It all started because he found fake texts I had made with Jimin and Tae. Don’t recall the story it was a part of but he thought they were texts with the actual members… In my eyes, I should get credit for making them look so legit but he didn’t see it that way. He thought fangirling over men was essentially cheating. No matter how hard I tried to explain, he didn’t understand. But a part of his view was right. I learned that I was a bit too much into it and I really needed to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. So I did. I deactivated my account and disappeared for months. Also because he made me and threatened our relationship if I didn’t. Should have taken the out but ah well.

Just two months prior to this incident, I attempted suicide. Well, contemplated. Everything was planned out. Bought a hotel room for Thanksgiving night as I was working a super late shift until about 1-2am. My commute home was an hour long and I still had to come back to work at 7am. So I got a room. Brought a large amount of pills with me and I was going to call it. No notes written to friends, family, or loved ones. Nothing. I was done. Didn’t think anyone would miss me. I just figured the world would keep turning without me. I had thought about doing this several times before but this was my first time making plans for it. It was my lowest of the low. But then I met someone that night that changed my life entirely just in a 10 minute interaction of talking - nothing special. We’ll get to that later. But this person just gave me hope and to this day, I still can’t explain it. It was euphoric. I felt clarity. It was in that night that I thought I might hold out just a little bit longer.

And thus @strwberrytae was born - but it was far from the same. At first, I restarted the blog in secret. Why would I do this? Why would a 25 year old open a blog in secret? Well, two months after the awful fight, my ex proposed to me and I said yes. I know. Believe me, I know. I was scared. My depression was getting worse again. I no longer had an escape except for books. All I did was read so I had some sort of reality to be in besides my own. But returning to a brand new blog did not give the same satisfaction as returning to an old blog.

I worked so hard on my first blog and this redo, I tried to consider it as a gift. Perhaps this was a chance to start anew and rebrand myself. This optimism kept up for quite some time. Slowly, I added my favorite past works then added some new chapters. If you’ve been here with me since 2017, you would know that my appearance on Tumblr was still not the same. Then I got married in October.

An empty, loveless marriage that I regret to this day. Needless to say, my writing and activity on Tumblr was still practically non-existent as I was still too scared of getting caught. Even though he finally gave me permission to use it again because he could tell how miserable it was making me. Yes, gave me permission. Thankfully, it all ended after a year. I finally went to a therapist even though I hated them so much and all past therapists I had. She was pretty great. Within five sessions, I summoned the courage to break up with this guy. I was finally set free. Nearly 9 years together and I finally felt like I could breathe.

Unfortunately, although I was free, I had to live with the guy for about 5 months after the breakup. Which was beyond rough, believe me. Imagine someone writhing in pain and bawling their eyes out and venting non-stop about all of their faults and wrongdoings every single day. At the end of the day, as shitty as he was to me, he was my best friend too. We went through a lot of shit together and he did have some good sides to him too. So witnessing this was horrendous. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much privacy either. Writing was not my top priority. Now it’s 2019 and things changed drastically for the better - and worst.

Remember the person I met in 2016 on Thanksgiving night? Well, that person is someone I crushed on every since that night. For 2 years. People, I’m telling you. He did absolutely nothing special that night. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t check me out. He didn’t do anything remotely to make a girl swoon but I was so drawn to him. The only word that could describe it was “cosmic” - beautifully cosmic.

Well in January 2019, 2 months following my break up, he came into my store one day. And my god did he look incredible. He was dressed head to toe in black - a fitted black suit at that. He even wore this long, designer jacket to match. Hair shaved on the sides with beautiful, thick dark hair on top. So tall - 182cm. A smile that could kill; quite literally. The canines are on point. He looked like a five course meal. That day, he definitely flirted with me. By the end of the week, we had our first date. Sadly, I also lost my job in the same week and was unemployed for a year because no one would hire me. I was laid off and one of my seniors took my job. Of course, they needed to keep me around for the holidays and then give me the boot. I was devastated. I hated that job so much as it only aided in fueling my depression but losing it was definitely an amazing thing. And! I survived on my savings and definitely didn’t spend my time writing. I had life to sort out last year - like from the ground up. No worries though. I got a job in February 2020 and I love it, so it’s all good, baby. Now I’m in the health field and feel like I’m actually helping people, which I love.

Now, here we are 2 years later and I’m engaged to the man. Someone who makes me smile everyday, believes in me, encourages me, let’s me be 100% myself, travels with me, taught me how to love myself, taught me to accept my body, gets me on a level that only my best friend could, and someone who goes above and beyond every single day to show me how much he loves me. Bonus, he welcomes my love for BTS with open arms, reads my writing, AND has even been sucked in himself to the fandom. Jungkook and Jimin, look out. You got another fanboy. I thought true love was impossible for me but I was very, very wrong.

He has shown me that I can be happy and I have finally experienced true happiness. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t cringe and lie through my teeth. I smile and say that I am doing well because by George, I am. Everyone around me has seen me over the last two years and made the comment, “you look so much happier”. They meet him and swoon just as much as I do. Is he perfect? No, he’s not. He has flaws just like everyone else but he actually grows and learns from his mistakes to better himself. That’s what amazes me the most. Even if we argue, which is seldom, he refuses to let it go without resolution so we can always fix whatever the issue is. As we like to call it, we’re in-sync. In everything, we’re always so in-sync. I’m wildly in love, my dudes.

So, why am I not writing anymore? To put it simply, I’m happy and don’t really feel the desire to write anymore - at least not fanfiction. Even when I was super young, like elementary school, I used writing as an outlet for my dark escape. I wrote poetry primarily and by middle school, it turned to fanfiction for Supernatural, Simple Plan, and Panic! At The Disco. Along with a very long list of other bands and shows but anyways. I’ve been severely depressed since I was 15 and fanfiction put me in this hole that I couldn’t get out of. I relied on this method to help me get through all the bad shit I was dealing with. It was my coping mechanism.

Now? While depression never truly goes away as the lovely disease that it is, I am genuinely happy. Because of this, when I opened all of my past works and works in progress, I felt nothing but guilt. Guilt for not keeping up with my chapters or keeping my account active. I felt dread to have to escape in this world that I had created. I felt no joy or excitement. It was the strangest feeling that happened all in a matter of seconds. Thus leading to my final decision to take a step away from writing. Do I still love it? Absolutely. But now I think I’m going to re-route and focus my writing on what I love - reality. I’m going to get back into journaling and write essays about love and beauty as I’ve always loved to do. But for escaping into a fantasy world? I don’t know when I’ll be back.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you can write and be happy!” Nah fam. Writing has been my aid through dark times and now I mostly associate it with those dark times. And for once in my life, I feel this desire to enjoy reality and remain in it - with the exception of journaling here and there. Even daydreaming is difficult. It’s strange. I love my reality. This sounds like gloating now but it’s truly a remarkable feeling. When you’ve been battling depression for 15 years, it feels really freaking nice to say that I’m happy.

So that’s why I’m taking a break - in a very long, drawn out way. But my hope was that after this long story, you might understand truly why I am doing this. It would have been easier to just say that writing doesn’t bring me joy anymore but I feel that I owe more than that; especially because I really don’t know if I’ll write for this blog ever again. The last time I took a break, I disappeared without being able to explain myself and I wanted to do so now that I have the chance.

Ultimately, thank you to everyone who has stuck by me over the years. It’s truly been one hell of a rollercoaster. The friends I’ve made on here have seen me at my lowest of the lows. But hey! I’ll still be around. I just won’t be publishing or continuing any of my works anywhere in the near future. Seriously though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This website has helped me tremendously and I’ll never forget it. Besides, there’s lots of other exciting things happening in my life now so you’ll certainly see me pop in here and there to talk about it ♡

If you wish, you can message me for questions or anything you want to know. I’m an open book - at least about most things hehe. And don’t worry. I still very much love Taehyung and still wildly obsessing over how marvelous he is. Umf.

(here’s some recent photos of me as i rarely take selfies anymore haha. and a derp photo of me and the man i love >_< why is the cutest photo of him with the worst photo of me? still cute though hehe)

#me #personal #goodbye for now #no longer writing #bts writer

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squealchair · 4 years ago

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my experience being disabled in a pandemic

On this National Rare Disease Day (and almost 1 year stay-at-home-iversary), I present to you all my very first blog post. (cue applause) 😂

Growing up, I was conditioned to be sorry for being different. From having paras in my classes because I needed extra help, to feeling isolated in the corner of the gym doing physical therapy during PE class, to when my friends’ stopped inviting me on social outings because they weren’t accessible. The switch flipped inside of me when I finally started seeing disability as something that was normalized, not shameful. It was, however, unfortunate that this moment came when the world was telling me the exact opposite. This is the story of how I learned just how much society hates disability, while at the same time learning to love it myself .

There’s nothing like a global pandemic to let you know where people’s priorities really are. And I’ve had basically a year to feel angry, depressed and hopeless about it. But it has also brought on the more significant realizations I’ve had about my life so far.

It all started March 12th 2020. My last in person class before the city’s (and my own personal) stay-at-home-order. This was a group project class which we would have to finish through clunky work sessions on Zoom. We got very little done that day. Our conversation went from lamenting the cancellation of March Madness, to passing around someone’s Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer in solidarity. Realizing we were all talking through our impending doom, my professor tried to make sure we were prepared to continue online for a while. I remember her echoing what many people were saying at the time, telling our group, “you guys are young, you don’t need to worry about it, just wash your hands.” It's just the older people who are dying from it, right? While this was the common way of thinking at the time, coming from someone who I’m sure meant well, I now have grown to hate this sentiment. And even more that I didn’t speak up and say something like, “well actually, I could die from it.” I was probably in denial, just like everyone seems to have been all this time.

I was born with what doctors now clinically describe as distal Spinal Muscular Atrophy, although genetic testing done at the time did not confirm an SMA diagnosis (gotta love a medical mystery). Whatever it is affects basically all muscles in my body, and led to several childhood battles with pneumonia from something as minor as a cold. And while I’ve come a long way since beginning my life on a ventilator, I can’t confidently say I would survive something as bad as COVID.

So the next day, it was announced we would be going virtual for the rest of the semester. I watched as the County Commission debated if the lives of people like me are worth losing profits (which would become a conflict central to the world’s excuse to hate disabled people). Then we finished the semester, which was different, but the newness of remote life was kind of exciting at first, I must admit. That faded fast. But virtual world is what led me to what would be the beginning of my disability acceptance journey.

Through social media, I found out that the team behind Crip Camp (a documentary about the disability rights movement I watched during the extended spring break) was hosting a virtual “camp” all summer. Every summer since I aged out at 17 I went to Muscular Dystrophy summer camp, and now as an adult I’ve been attending a retreat for those who age out every August. But since it was canceled this year, I needed something to do. So I signed up for Crip Camp: The Virtual Experience, a weekly series of conversations with disability advocates.

As it turned out, forming connections with disabled communities across the world was just the validation I needed. I started following disabled creators and making friends in social media groups too. And I found the representation that has never existed in the mainstream. I realized how much internalized ableism I was carrying from the world around me. That disability is not only your lack of ability, it's the lack of accessibility in society. What I realized was all the stuff I thought I had to apologize for, is really what makes us who we are. My disabled lived experience has shaped me into who I am today. Sadly, this came just in time for a dominant portion of society to try to rip that progress away from me.

All this to say, it really hurts to know that a large part of the population doesn’t care if you die. But that's what I’ve spent my time in isolation coming to terms with. The fact that people are constantly educated about the consequences of their actions, but aren't willing to take simple actions to help slow the spread because it may not directly affect them, is what really gets to me. This even coming from people I considered friends. Don’t get me wrong, I am fortunate and thankful to live with my family and have the resources I need to survive the long haul. I’ve always known life was going to be hard as a disabled person in an ableist world. But having the collective disdain for us be thrown in my face with every Instagram post from a college party and Facebook conspiracy theory is a new level of disappointment. All that time I spent learning to love myself, clouded with reminders that maybe nobody else actually does. I wish there was more empathy in the world.

This past year has exposed the sad truths in this country. Those in power really only care about their own interests, and a large portion of the population really wouldn't think twice about the lives of disabled people. Please take the consequences of your actions seriously, not only for me, but for the marginalized communities disproportionately affected by this tragic pandemic. And please get the vaccine.

#disability #crip camp #blog #first post #hello #i want a vaccine pls #support #disability community #fun fact: i wrote most of this in december but was too scared to post until now

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lady-star-strings · 4 years ago

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DNF/Georgebur PotO & LND AU

Okay, to begin with, thank you so so much for giving me the chance to blab about this @dtvibez because I’ve always wanted to work with this AU, but I’ve just never had the characters to do it with and my musical nerd heart is thriving right now. Alright, anywhodilydo, geek-out over, let’s get into it - just a warning kiddos, this is gonna be a long one so strap in and hold on...

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Roles

To start off, let’s address the roles here for how I believe these plots would fit best with the characters involved - it’s purely up to individual interpretation, but these are my thoughts as an in-depth lover of these musicals.

Obviously, our dear George is the leading lady Christine Daae in this story, that was pretty much a given - let’s just be honest here guys, he’s the simp-bait through and through and if that wasn’t Christine, I don’t know what was. Meg - Christine’s friend - and her mother Madame Giry I’m going to combine and make Fundy for reasons I shall disclose later in this post, and Sapnap will have a role to discuss later down the line too, just lemme get there. Now as for the love interests, I can easily say that Eric/The Phantom is Dream and Raoul is Wilbur in this situation. Some of you might be questioning why it wouldn’t be switched because Raoul was her childhood friend and Eric was a gifted musician, but I have answers for you ahead on that, don’t you worry~ ;)

Phantom of the Opera Arc

After studying under Dream - or the Nightmare of the Opera as people prefer to call him - for years to be the star singer he was always destined to be, George is finally granted the chance to do so when some strings are pulled behind the scenes to give him a leading role in an opera. There isn’t anything George wouldn’t do for his Angel of Music after giving him such a chance at success, and Dream is practically preening with pride over how astounding his Georgie has turned out to be. Before Dream can whisk George away in triumph, however, his childhood friend Wilbur shows up out of the blue to shower him in praise and remind him of the puppy love they shared as children before George moved to the opera house. George is smitten with nostalgia, to say the least - it’s nice to put a face to the affection for once.

Needless to say, Dream is hardly pleased with this turn of events and actively tries to keep George not only away from Wilbur, but also to himself because George is quite literally all he has in the world - not even his music can compare to how much George means to him. Of course, the way he goes about this is hardly morally right and only serves to drive George further and further away from him and into Wilbur’s arms as a safe haven from all of the horrors. In the end, though, even after so much heartbreak and all the terrible things Dream’s done to keep him hostage as his muse and love, George finds it in his heart to forgive him for being how the world made him to be and genuinely offers to give up his freedom if it means he won’t be alone in that darkness anymore and Wilbur won’t die.

As expected, Dream realizes he really can’t do that George when it comes down to it - he simply loves him too much to force him to stay if it means he’d wind up hating him for it in the end. He’d rather let him be free and live the life he’s been dreaming of with Wilbur than have him stay and live the rest of his life resenting him. Even so, George is surprisingly hesitant to leave and can only offer to return the wedding ring Dream gifted him as a final goodbye and a silent show of his remaining love for him before he let’s him go in return and goes off with Wilbur. Following that night, Dream disappears from the opera house altogether, never to be heard from again...

Love Never Dies Arc - *SPOILERS*

...Or so the story goes in Paris 10 years ago. Little did anyone know, Fundy actually helped Dream steal away from the opera house when the mobs came searching for him and was unyieldingly by his side as they made their way to America for a fresh start. Once there, Dream - with a little seedy behind-the-scenes help from Fundy - founded a successful side show on Coney Island where he and others like him such as Sapnap and Punz - Miss Fleck and Dr. Gangle - are able to live freely and are treated with respect for their unique traits. Fundy has actually taken to training under Dream to be a successful singer in his own right with a well-known show in the attraction, his only goal to gain Dream’s favor and hopefully prove he’s able to replace George in his life. Dream unsurprisingly has no interest in anything of the sort and still actively mourns the loss of his muse - not even his music brings him joy anymore because it only reminds him of what could’ve been, and Fundy will never be his Georgie despite how much he insists otherwise.

But Dream is a clever thing, and he winds up securing a contract for George - who is now married to Wilbur and is raising a 10-year-old son with him - to come perform at the side show for one last performance. George takes the contract with little to no thought as to the odd pseudonym on the paperwork because Wilbur has lost himself to gambling and alcohol over the years, and they’re desperate for money to survive. At first, George is irate and somewhat heartbroken to learn that Dream’s been alive after all these years, especially after how their lives have turned out following the one night of passion they shared before he disappeared. He admits he still loved Dream when he left and would’ve gone with him, but because he thought they couldn’t be happy and left without him, that ship has long since sailed. They both wish things could have been different, but also accept that what happened happened and all they can do now is move forward with the choices they’ve made.

Much to everyone’s immense shock, though, George’s son is actually Dream’s and not Wilbur’s - a fact which Dream deduces on his own after connecting the dots between his age and musical prowess. Unfortunately, the child is terrified of Dream’s true face just as George once was and after getting the truth confirmed about the child’s real parentage, he begs for him to never know. George ultimately blames himself for what’s happened, and although he can’t take back not telling Dream of their child and the fear said child feels toward him, he swears to perform for him one last time to make up for it before they return to Paris to avoid hurting him further. Meanwhile, Dream vows everything he’s worth in the world to be the child’s once he’s gone even if he can’t be his father, and Fundy isn’t happy to hear that in the slightest because he will have nothing after all the sacrifice he’s made for Dream. All of the sleazy deals and late nights in his dressing room plying people for Dream’s success, and he will get nothing - his mind is just too fragile to face that reality at this point without doing something rash.

Naturally, Wilbur has no clue about any of this at first and makes a drunken deal with Dream regarding George - if George sings for him, he and the child will stay with Dream and Wilbur will leave. If George doesn’t sing, he and the child will leave with Wilbur with all of their debts wiped away as not to burden their family further with his problems. Wilbur then proceeds to try his best to convince George to stay with him by using nostalgia yet again since he now knows who the child belongs to as well, but in the end, George realizes that although he may have loved Wilbur at one time, his love for Dream transcends all that and has never once wavered despite everything they’ve been through. Throughout everything, Dream has always been there waiting for him and wants nothing more than for George and their child to have the life they deserve - Wilbur lost all of that a long time ago. George makes his choice, and Wilbur leaves as promised with the acceptance that he while no longer makes George happy, Dream does and he’ll take care of him - but the child, however, leaves with a distraught Fundy seeking to “right his problems.”

They manage to catch up to Fundy in time to avoid disaster, but not completely as he still views George as the reason he could never be happy with Dream and winds up fatally shooting him in the midst of a mental breakdown. Dream can do nothing but hold George - the man he loved and was finally loved by in return - as it’s revealed to the child who his real father is, only for him to flee the scene in horror of the truth. For once, Dream is at a loss for what to do because there isn’t any more time for them to have their happy ending and he hasn’t any idea what to do about their child without George. In his dying moments, George soothingly reminds him of one simple fact: Love never dies, and the best thing he can do is just live and give everything he can for both himself and the child now as all they have is each other. With a final kiss, George slips away and a sobbing Dream is left cradling his body when the child and Wilbur - who he ran to find to help George after he was shot - arrive on the scene.

Dream isn’t cruel. He understands how Wilbur must feel in the same situation, so he allows him to mourn the loss of George in his own way with the child as he contemplates whether or not he can continue on. While he debates what to do with himself, the child slowly comes to him unafraid and willing to face the man he now knows to be his father in a new light. In his eyes, Dream can see George, and that’s more than enough for him to stay just a little longer in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if that’s a lot to process and read through, but it was a lot to get out and I wanted to be crystal clear on things as not to confuse people. This is for the most part just hitting the main plot points of the musicals, however, tweaking and adjustments and further deep-dive analyses can be done now that I’ve gotten the main idea out of the way. I definitely don’t want to stick too strictly to it myself and want to tailor it more to the SMP events and characters, but I’ll save that for later since it’s already super late and I should be writing my fic instead.

Happy writing kiddos, thank you for letting me indulge myself with this concept and I hope you enjoyed it~ <3

#don't sleep won't sleep #sleep is for the living #poto & lnd AU #dreamnotfound #georgebur #phantom of the opera #love never dies #dream #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #wilbur soot #fundylive #fundywastaken #sapnap #punz #you don't know how happy i am to finally mess with more musical junk #this is honestly one of my favorite ideas surrounding them

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sunarintoes · 4 years ago

Text

Dear Whovever: [Kenma]

Synopsis: You and Kenma are both best friends and youtube gamers however you want to be more than just best friends so you decide to ‘man up’ one day and write a heart felt confession in a minecraft notebook before then putting it in Kenma’s personal chest.

WC: 3K

TW: slight swearing :)

[Episode one]

[recording in 3… 2… 1… start!]

“Hey gamers, Kodzuken here with Tulip-but-make-it-yellow! I've done a few Minecraft videos with Tulip before, but thought I'll start a new series that will be posted every Monday.”

“It's called Minedays with Tulip and Kodzu”

“I- no, Tulip. I'm not sure what we’re gonna call it. But you guys will know- obviously since it's the title of this video.”

You whine and pout into the monitor, “Kodzu I think Minedays is a cute name.”

Instead of replying Kenma rolls his eyes and hits you ingame. “Should we introduce the challenge and get it started?”

“Yeah that's a good idea!”

“Well, it's about eleven am right now, we have until eleven pm to build a Minecraft house from a random topic,” he pauses and moves to the side to point to a sectioned spinwheel, “on this bad boy,” whacks the spinner, “we have eight different themes, in a sec I’ll spin it and whatever it lands on will be what we have to build.”

You let out a high pitched ‘hmm,’ “I feel bad for Kuroo and Hinata, they’re both going to have to edit twelve hours of footage down to 10 minutes!”

Kenma chuckles, “fifteen minutes actually.”

This time you roll your eyes. “Hurry up and spin it you fool! I want to get buildinggg”

Smiling, Kenma moves back a bit and spins the wheel, after thirty seconds full of anticipation the wheel finally stops and its small arrow is pointing at- “Yes! Cottage core theme!” you yell out while Kenma groans.

“Really? That's lame why couldn't we have ‘Lucifer’s Bedroom’?”

You poke your tongue out to the monitor - which Kenma could see, after all, you are in a Discord call with him. “Don't be sad just because you're prancing in my turf…. Looooooser!”

Kenma playfully glares towards you, “You’re on! See you in twelve hours!”

Unfortunately, the difficulty of building a cottage core house in the woods - in survival mode, proved more difficult than planned.

“We spawned in a desolate area huh? Barely any flowers!” you hear Kenma make a sound of agreement as you sink into your comfortable ‘gamer’ styled chair.

“Don't tell me you've given up? Just because you can't find any flowers?”

You scowl at his cocky tone however your mood does a one-eighty when you suddenly get a good idea. “Ok everyone! I know what I have to do! I'm going to restart in another place because this isn’t working!”

Kenma makes a sound of surprise, “you're restarting? It's been an hour already-”

“Yeah and we have, like... eleven more.” Kenma sighs in response, “better get a move on.”

For the most part, the two of you kept quiet - not wanting to let the other know how well you were doing. However one look at your phone only to see that your twitter has blown up, you decide to take a short break, after all it has been four hours of you sitting on your ass playing Minecraft. Once you open Twitter you're met with a barrage of tags and mentions - all of which screaming ‘KenYn’ and ��Kodzutulip.’ You felt heat rise to your face, you - yes you, Ln Yn with the online alias Tulip-but-make-it-yellow, has a big, fat, humongous crush on your best friend and fellow youtuber - Kenma, aka Kodzuken aka the cutest guy in the world. To make it worse - or better, you couldn't really tell, was that many of your viewers shipped you with him - as did his viewers.

You are of course, happy with this but you can’t help but wonder if Kenma feels the same way, does he feel weirded out by all this shipping content? Does he find it uncomfortable? Does he find it unsettling to be shipped with his in-real-life best friend?

“Hey Yn?” Kenma calls softly, “you've been looking at your phone for the past ten minutes and your face looks sad.”

You instantly look up to meet Kenma’s face and try to find the right words to say, “I… I’m just kinda tired and eventually got distracted!! Sorry Kenken!”

Kenma visibly cringes at the old nickname - the one you gave him in primary school, “if you say so… better get your head in the game though - my mansion looks epic.”

Your eyes narrow, “mansion? The theme is cottage core!” Kenma quietly chuckles in response, “a mansion can still have a fairy aesthetic, you should know that”

You huff in faux annoyance as you place your phone away and ‘get your head in the game’ just as he requested. “Be prepared to be crushed! I am the cottage core guardian!”

There are ten minutes left to your’s and Kenma’s excruciatingly long Minecraft challenge, your ass hurts from sitting on it for almost twelve straight hours - including bathroom breaks. When the buzzer rings the two of you step back from your respective buildings and make your way to the starting point - which had been marked by a stack of 20 or so dirt blocks.

“Well that was twelve hours of eye straining torture,” you say as you stretch your arms.

“You're tired already?”

“Kinda… I can't wait to go to sleep after this.”

“Weak, I’m playing Battlefield as soon as this is over.”

You roll your eyes and scoff, “this is why you look like a living corpse in the morning…”

Kenma looks you dead in the eyes and with a completely serious face he says, “yeah but you love it.”

You choke on your spit at his boldness, “y-yeah I guess.”

If you were being honest, you were not the best at reading people and it was dark in Kenma’s gaming room, the only light coming from his three screen/monitor computer setup, but you think you see a light blush creep up to his cheeks. And you hate it, you hate when he says things that make your heart flutter, you hate it when he just sits there and the digital glow accentuates all of his delicate features, but what you hate most is yourself. You hate yourself because you have fallen in love with your best friend, you hate yourself because you know he doesn't like you back and you hate that you continuously give yourself a sense of false hope.

“Yn… you want to stay up and game with me don’t you? ”

You sheepishly look to the side, ‘mayhaps.’

Kenma sighs looking at you with a soft face as he whispers “then I won’t play Battlefield and I’ll go to bed and so will you, ‘kay?”

You smile tiredly at him, “sounds like a deal.”

“We'll get back on at the same time tomorrow and we’ll do the final part of this video - the reveal. Until then.”

You smile and wave at the camera “cya soon~”

[recording over]

After your call with Kenma ended you got ready for bed but for some reason, no matter how tired you were, you just couldn't fall asleep - your mind was screaming obscene ideas that you couldn't help but contemplate. At first it was just wishful thinking but then came a thought that refused to leave, ‘confess.’

It was a tempting thought, but how? Surely you couldn't just say ‘hey Kenma I've liked you since high school lets date!’ yeah no, that was a horrible idea. Maybe if you confessed with some originality he would be more likely to accept but for now, you were going to do your best to go to sleep.

[Episode two]

[recording in 3… 2… 1… start!]

In the morning you woke up feeling refreshed and excited for the day to come, Kenma had texted you and asked if you were feeling up to recording the reveal from last night and episode two today and of course you said yes.

The video goes on without any troubles and soon you find yourself staring at the computer screen at eleven once again.

“Remember to like, subscribe and comment below on who you think won this round.” Kenma’s voice is soothing - if you had to describe it you would say that it is silky like honey and smooth like dark chocolate; or maybe you would just say his voice is perfect. Kenma waves to the screen monitor, “hello? Earth to Yn! Are you dead or something? You look like a zombie.”

It takes a while to register, you weren’t really paying attention to the words he said as you were more interested in the way he sounded. You sit up and smile into the camera, “I'm awake… thanks for caring!”

He scoffs and swivels in his chair a bit, “I don't care about you, you're just my idiot best friend and flatmate.”

You playfully narrow your eyes, “well this idiot flatmate of yours helped you bake apple pie so you wouldn’t starve to death!”

“Hmmm, I guess. Well I'm going to head off. I'll see you later.”

You smile softly, “yeah I'll see you later, i'm just gonna stay on for a while.”

Kenma looks at you with an intrigued expression, “you're going to stay up longer? Better not be in this world, that's cheating. Want me to stay up with you?”

You roll your eyes and giggle, “it's all good I want to fix my house up in the other world. I'll see you tomorrow.”

He sighs, “if you say so.”

[recording over]

Your chair rolls back as you stretch, “maybe I should confess to him through a Minecraft journal…” you jump up. “Thats it! Thats a great way to confess! Its original and Kenma would appreciate it…. If he accepts my feelings that is…”

You groan and slump back down into the chair, “maybe it’s best if I don't confess at all. No! I've wanted to do this for years! If he doesn't like me back it's all good! Maybe I just won't do this on a stream!”

You reach over to the bench and pull up your phone, “who to call, mmm ok let’s call Alisa I’m going to need some emotional support!”

“Hey gamers, Kodzu here in another Minecraft live stream, today we’re just in mine and Yn’s regular world and i'm going to build a house - a cottage to be specific,” he pauses and looks at the comment section; ‘no Yn isn't here right now, no Yn won't be joining this video, no I didnt know shes streaming at the moment, yes my favourite food is apple pie, yes I have a calico cat, no Yn is not my significant other, yes we are just friends.’ Kenma moves back and takes a breath, “wow you guys sure are interested in Yn huh? Maybe I should get them in more videos, might get more views that way,” he laughs a bit.

“Let's start off by heading to my base, I have the materials I’ll need there- oh uh what's this?” Kenma pauses as he stares at the foreign object, “I don't remember having a written book in my chest… maybe Yn went in here and put it in?”

Kenma stares at the book for a while before he opens it, only to be shocked. The comment section notices the blush on his face and continue to spam him with questions:

[kodzusbabe]: what's in that diary!!

[Kenmastan]: hahAAAHHA LOOK HE’S SO RED IN THE FACE

[piefacecutie]: ^^ omg you're so right @/Kenmastan hes so cute 💓

[Kenmaxyn]: I hope it's a confession!

[ynhater]: @/Kenmaxyn from who? Cause I didn't do it and I'd be the only one for Kenma oppAr

[kennismaken]: I hope it’s Yn! They’d be such a cute couple

[applepudding]: umm? Kodzu! Why did he get up and leave??

[ynhater]: babe come back!

[Kenmaxyn]: OMG MAYBE IT WAS YN !!!!

After your late night call with Alisa, you decided it would be best to just do it and then ignore Kenma for the day - well, not ignore him per se, just simply decline all his Discord calls and Facetime calls so you could put off being rejected a little while longer. You woke up with a throbbing headache that you could only blame yourself for, after all you are the dumbass who stayed up until God knows when just to write a heartfelt confession. Eventually the angst of waiting for a message from Kenma overwhelmed you and here you are now; streaming Overwatch to get your mind off of a certain someone.

“Ah no! Cant believe that stupid Hanzo got me! What a pain!” you frown at the screen and let out a sigh, “the round is over… bummer. Well while we wait an eternity for the next round I guess I should answer some of your questions… oh? I didn't know Kenma was streaming, no I’m not dating him… “ you feel your heart sink as you read the next comment; “what do you mean Kenma ran away after reading a book? Was he unhappy?”

The next moments felt like a blur, your heart was heavy and you felt tears well up in your eyes and somehow you missed the sound of someone breaking into your apartment and then your bedroom. Within a second you feel someone wrap their arms around you from behind, your body tenses up but immediately relaxes when you recognise the perpetrators scent; sweet yet salty, like caramel toffee.

“Kenma! W-what are you doing?”

“I like you too… I have for so long.”

Your eyes widen and it doesn't take too long for a smile to appear on your face, “I'm so glad to hear that.”

You feel him smile into your neck as his embrace tightens, “finish up your livestream so we can talk please.”

“You don't need to tell me twice!”

It is eleven at night once again, but this time you’re not sitting alone in your gaming chair, instead you're sitting on Kenma’s lap - in his gaming chair as he slowly runs his hands through your hair and softly kisses your neck.

“So everyone’s pretty much freaking out over us huh?” you hum in response, “we’ve been officially together for what? Five hours?”

“Correct you are.”

You smile and hold up your phone while you continue to cuddle into him, “smile baby, I want the whole world to know that you're my player two.”

[Bonus - the love letter]

Dear Kenma,

This must be so strange - finding a journal in your chest.

I have wanted to tell you this for quite a while and I guess I have never found the write words to say; or the right way to for that matter,

But I love you

I have loved you since our first year at Nekoma

It's been a while hasn’t it?

I'm sorry if this inconveniences you, makes you uncomfortable or makes you never want to see me again;

Just let me continue for a little while longer because I need to get this off of my mind.

I love your smile - especially the rare one where you really smile, where your eyes crinkle and your cheeks begin to hurt

I love your voice - it’s smooth and silky, like honey being spread across bread

I love your scent - it reminds me of salted caramel, I can never get enough

I love your mind - the way it works to make me laugh, make me calm and all else

I love your lips - not necessarily in a sexual way, but more so in the way you talk and speak, they move softly and slowly in a way only your lips could move in.

I love your body - how although you're hunched most of the time you still possess a fine elegance in the way you move. How at times it reminds me of a graceful swan floating down a lake.

I love your hands - they are so pretty and dainty and soft, I want to hold them all day and all night

And most of all;

I love you

I love you in your entire

I could go ahead and pick the parts I love most and least but then you would no longer be you

I love you in your entire

Flaws and all

I know this may not be the most romantic, especially considering you’re reading this through Minecraft and I've never done this before but I had to let you know

Love

Taglist: [open] @ladyrenart

note: sooo this is another style that i tried and i have mixed feelings about it :) also if you can’t tell,,, i’ve never written a love letter before :’)

#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #fluff #x reader #angst #kenma #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma fluff #kenma angst #dear whoever #dear whoever: a haikyuu series #kozume kenma x reader

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chibienvychan03 · 4 years ago

Text

My Fictional Secret Admirer - Part 1 of That Damned Pikashaw Series

Secret Santa gift for Sakurras on a MLQC Discord I’m a part of.

Pairing: Gavin x MC, side of Minor x Willow

Warning: potty mouth/pervert Shaw, Sassy MC, little shit Zappy

Summary: Argh a certain someone is moving slower than an ice berg on a cold day. You voice your frustration to your gal pals, but a certain brat happens to overhear. He somehow convinces (ropes) you into pranking Gavin big time.

After a long day, you and a few female employees decide to have a girl’s night out. Sorry, not sorry Minor. It’s been awhile since you’ve done something with only your gender, and you’re going to have fun, not worrying about the opposite gender especially a certain someone who moves slower than an ice berg on a cold day, and that’s his good day too.

“And I’m not kissing him until he gets lessons.”

WHAT?! This sends you crashing back to reality.

“Ouch. So mean to your boyfriend,” Kiki pouts as she plays with the straw in her drink, twirling it around and sometimes blowing bubbles just because she can.

“And what about you? You haven’t kissed yours,” Willow points out as she’s stirring her drink. At least she can drink alcohol. Due to your low tolerance and Kiki turning the age where she can legally drink alcohol, you’re the designated safe person/driver.

Kiki sticks out her tongue and blows a raspberry. “We’re taking things slow. You’ve told me not to rush into things.”

This statement Willow can’t refute. “For once, you actually listen to me.”

“HEY! I listen to you, but that doesn’t mean I’m paying attention,” Kiki replies with a cheeky grin. “But at least we have boyfriends.”

You want to say the two of them have boyfriends. On the other hand, you do not as someone is taking his sweet time and NOT asking you. You’re not even sure he wants to be with you on that level. Instead of responding, you flag down the bartender and ask for another soda, but this time with a few cherries in it. The bartender doesn’t give you a look this time as he knows you’re the designated driver, meaning you can’t become impaired. He doesn’t question it once he finds out.

The two are looking at you. “What?”

“You have a boyfriend, right?” Kiki pokes you.

“Er… I’m too busy with work to consider having an intimate relationship.” In other words, you have no boyfriend even if you want one in the first place.

“Aren’t you dating that handsome cop? Gavin.” Willow prods while waggling her brows. How she manages that move, you don’t know nor do you ask.

In response, you turn a bright red, enough to make a tomato green (red) with envy. “He hasn’t asked.”

“He what?!” Kiki shouts after she almost chokes on her drink. She hits her chest to clear her airway.

“He didn’t ask her,” Willow reiterates your response, saving you the trouble of answering two times. She picks up her cherry by its stem before twirling it. “Then why don’t you ask him?”

“I don’t know if he feels the same way I do, and he doesn’t give other women any thought,” you say after some hesitation. It’s not that you’re jealous of the other women. More like frustrated with him and how slow he’s moving. Sometimes you wonder if he’s even moving at all.

Willow snorts upon your confession. “Girl, have you seen how he’s all over you? He’s crazy about you. And you’re crazy if you let him go.”

“He’s worried about me,” you say, not wanting to admit it… just yet. “Being his junior from high school. You know?”

This time Kiki snorts. “Oh it goes beyond worrying about junior classmates. You’re too blind to see it.”

“What do you mean by that?” you huff and cross your arms over your chest while waiting for your soda to arrive so you can have something to play with.

“Oh my gods, the two of you are painfully ignorant. It’s ridiculous.” Willow picks up her drink and starts sipping from what remains of it. “Woman up, ask him on a date. It’s the twenty first century. Unless he grows a pair of balls, it’s up to you.”

“What do balls have anything to do with dating and boyfriends?” You glance between the two of them who in return are giving you looks of exasperation. What? “Aren’t they toys for kids and pets?” Last time you recall, balls are spherical objects mean to give joy to whoever played with them whether it be for sport or simply having for.

“Even I know what that is, and I’m younger than you.”

Like ouch. Does Kiki have to point that out? “Gavin does have a ball cactus.”

As if on cue, both Kiki and Willow bang their heads on the bar like you see in the manga you’ve read where someone is exasperated at another person. What? Is it something you said? You’re left in the dark again. Maybe it’s time to do research on this kind of stuff… if you ever have the time. Between your work, taking care of yourself/home, and hanging out with friends, you don’t have time to do this research. Besides you do a lot of research for your work and sometimes you’re researched out!

“His name is Thorny and is surviving.” Surviving from Gavin giving it too much love (more like water).

“So is Gavin’s love for you,” Willow adds. “Don’t keep him waiting too long.”

“Yeah, you don’t won’t to become that old cat lady.” Gee thanks Kiki.

“HEY!” You huff. “It’s not my fault he’s moving slower than an ice berg on a good day.” Finally the bartender arrives with your soda, and he’s given you a little umbrella. Oh how sweet. It’s your favorite color too, pink.

“This dance is never going to end,” Kiki sighs a long one. She knows something or maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but either way, you want to know.

“Touche. It’s too painful to watch these lovebirds dance around each other.” Willow glances upward as if she’s asking some heavenly deity to do something about these two lovebirds.

“Someone has to get it going,” Kiki says as if you’re not sitting right next to them at the bar.

Willow nods her head. “Indeed. Dropping hints is useless since we all know how excruciatingly painfully oblivious both parties can be.”

Ouch and double ouch. Are you really that ignorant? Scratch that, you don’t want to know. “You two are drunk.” Yeah, that has to be the case.

Kiki bursts out in giggles. “You wish. I think I’m a bit tipsy, but I still can think! Unlike a certain someone we all know too well.”

Great. Now Kiki’s roasting you too? It makes you wonder if she’s been secretly spending time with a certain CEO who has a penchant for roasting you on a regular basis. Nah, it couldn’t be, could it? Between her school work, work, her boyfriend, and close friends, you doubt she has much time to learn the fine art of roasting people.

You smack her with your purse, not too hard since you need her to be able to work in a couple days.

Her response? She starts giggling hysterically.

“Ignore her. She’s drunk.” Willow waves her hand, the one not holding her drink. “But all things serious. Be direct and up front with Gavin. Dropping hints will get you nowhere.”

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to do? Walk up to him and demand to know why he hasn’t asked me on a date?” Or kissed, but that happens after you start dating. It’s not like you’re complete strangers. You already have a long history with him even if a fair chunk of it is you misunderstanding him.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You always have.”

“Or you can pull him down by his tie and kiss kiss.” Kiki makes kissing sounds.

The mere thought of doing what Kiki suggests causes you to turn bright red. “I don’t think he’s into PDA.” As for you, you don’t think your heart can take it even if you want it.

“Oi vey. Of course he’ll want to stake his claim on you, but it’s only if you let him. Guys are like that. Trust me. He’d want to let the entire world know you’re his.”

“Wow, I didn’t know Officer Gavin has a possessive side. Maybe Kiro would be a better choice.” Ah the Kiro fangirl emerges.

Willow rolls her eyes. “Not that kind of claiming, more like being in an exclusive relationship, and you’re off the dating market.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Just not that night. All you want to do is go home and sleep.

But first you need to make sure your drunk and slightly drunk friends make it home in one piece. After all, you’re the designated person… and a responsible boss.

Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin

Unlike your so called friends, you wake up the next day hang over free, which puts you in a very, very good mood. Good enough to tease those two through texts about what a wonderful day it is. When they do not reply, you’re not surprised. They’re probably hiding underneath their blankets and covers, waiting for the world to stop spinning or for the loud noises to go away. You’re tempted to suggest getting noise cancelling headphones. Being an unfortunate traveler (for work sigh), you procured a pair of your very own. Plane and train terminals tend to be quite noisy. Sometimes you want to hear yourself think.

When you unlock your phone, you notice you have a few messages. You start reading your messages.

Levi : When’s a good time to bring over my gifts for you?

“Big brother spoils me,” you giggle. While you’re not officially related or by blood, he’s taken you under his wing. The last time someone tried coping a feel, well let’s just say he wound up in the hospital with two broken hands.

You then remember him saying something about an overseas trip he’s taking back to the States, something about visiting his adopted family. He rarely mentions them and when he does, it’s bits and pieces. Since you respect his privacy, you try hard not to poke your nose into it and ask too many questions. If or when he’s ready, he’ll tell you. So far, you know he’s adopted and has one adopted brother but no sisters.

MC: How about having lunch? It’s been a long time since we got together.

Levi: Sounds like a plan. That new café? The one you mentioned in your moments post? :D

Wow. Does he have his phone in his hand all the time? Or maybe you’re lucky and catch him when he’s actually looking at his phone?

MC: That sounds great, and no we’re going double dutch. You’re NOT paying for mine.

Levi: ): I’m catching up on all the years I haven’t spent with you.

MC: I bet you bought me a ton of souvenirs.

Levi: XD Caught red handed. Okay, we’ll pay our own bill.

Seeing those emojis, you can’t help but giggle again. It’s not that many, however, you don’t recall any male you keep in contact using them on a regular basis. You decide to not say anything about it especially since it appears he’s having fun.

Anna: You forgot to text me when you arrive safely at home.

Oh oops?

MC: Sorry! D: I knew I forgot something, but I couldn’t remember. Next time I’ll write myself a reminder.

Okay next text.

Kiro: Miss Chips! Hear anything about Souvenir? QAQ They haven’t been opened lately, and I’ve been craving their food.

Kiro: Forgot to tell you, I’ll be busy for the next 2 to 3 weeks. If they open, you have to let me know. K?

MC: Are you planning on sneaking out if they’re open?

Kiro: Please don’t tell Savin! I’m tired of the same old, same old food.

MC: Fine. You owe me for keeping an eye on that restaurant.

Kiro: Miss Chips is the best! Crap. Gotta get back to work. Chuu.

You stare at your phone. Did he just? Nah, you’re probably reading too much into things like a certain couple of busybodies do on a regular basis. Since you don’t want Savin to catch him texting you, you decide to text him later with an update on his favorite restaurant.

Gavin: I’m free today. Would you like to have lunch with me? My treat.

Er… You already made plans to have lunch with your big bro. But the more the merrier, right?

MC: You can join me and my big bro for lunch. He got back from his trip.

Gavin: Since when do you have a big brother?

MC: A few months ago. I meant to tell you then, but you were swamped with work and then it slipped my mind. Sorry! It wasn’t on purpose I swear.

Gavin: He sounds kind of fishy if you ask me.

MC: He’s not like that. Just wait until you meet him.

MC: For the record, he broke two hands of someone trying to touch me.

Gavin: Why didn’t he beat the guy up?

Unbelievable. You can’t believe Gavin would suggest such a thing.

MC: It was crowded and we’re in public.

Gavin: Give me his contact info. I can help him.

Something tells you between the two of them if anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, he’d be sent to the hospital with multiple broken bones, and that’s if they’re feeling generous enough to let the guy live. You’re having second thoughts about the two meeting, but then again, big bro has been pestering you about the guy you’re interested in.

MC: Ask him at lunch.

Gavin: Understood.

The next text you send is where and when to meet. You hope this won’t be your worst decision, letting these two get to know each other and having team up against anyone who bothers you. “I’ll worry about that later.” While you hope they get along, you hope they don’t get along to the point of being accomplices.

The last few texts are spam. Didn’t you sign up for that thing about spam texts? These companies obviously aren’t letting that stop them. Whatever. You delete them.

Thaw: Unlock your window. I know you’re awake.

MC: Why are here this early?

Thaw: Just open it!

MC: It’s early for YOU! *suspicious eyes*

Thaw: You want to know why I’m here or not?

This guy. Although you’re tempted to leave him out there in the cold, your curiosity once again gets the better of you. Wait a second, Shaw never said which window, leaving you to look out of every window until you manage to find the one he’s crouched next to.

“Took you long enough,” Shaw grumbles once you open the window and slips into the warm room. The way he’s dress, he resembles a punk snowman. It causes you to giggle and him to pretend he never heard or saw what you did.

“If a certain someone told me which window he’s behind, I would have opened it five minutes earlier. Did you forget, I have a lot of windows?” You poke him on his chest, which he swats away your finger.

“Whatever.” In his language, it means he admits his guilt without actually admitting it. “A little birdy told me something interesting yesterday.”

“Pearly?”

“What?”

“Zappy?”

“What the hell?”

“Fiery?”

“You describing me or yourself?”

“Icy?”

“The fuck?”

You’ve run out of birds you know, which is a total of four who belong to a certain Birdcop the one you want to move faster. Sheesh. Sometimes you wonder if he’s moving backwards in spite of him wanting to spend time with you.

“Forget about the birdy. Don’t you want to know?”

“Something tells me I don’t want to know.” You close the window as soon as you’re reminded you have yet to close it. No need to let perfectly good warm air outside or let the cold air into your warm home.

Shaw pretty much laughs in your face, to which you’re tempted to slap him… using both hands. “My brother is an idiot.”

“That’s not nice to say,” you pout. Sometimes you wish you had biological siblings, but you suppose your adopted big brother is better than nothing. His spoiling you has no part in your decision. How does he have all that money in the first place? His first job must be well paying though he never tells you nor do you think he will.

“I could call him something much worse. You want to hear?” One shake of your head. Nope. “I admit he’s damn good at his job, but when it comes to his personal life, he’s very shitty.” While you don’t appreciate his language, you do agree with him.

“What about it?”

“Grab your laptop or a pen and paper. We’re going to get my fucking moron of a brother to ask you on a date.” Did he just say what you think he said?

“What are you waiting for? Chop, chop. Unless you want me to look for them myself.”

On second thought, you’d rather find the items he requested than have him poking his nose or any other part of his body where it doesn’t belong. You grab both your laptop along with a pen and paper. Laptop for research and the pen/paper for keeping notes. Sure, you can use your electronics to keep your notes, but your older brother has told you many times that even if you delete it, that incriminating information can be pulled from the depths of the hard drive. You’d rather not take any chances.

“Pen and paper? Old fart.”

You scowl. “It’s called decreasing my paper trail. Did you know they still can find what you’ve deleted on your computer or laptop?”

Shaw gives you that disbelieving stare. “You finally said something smart for a change. Who told you that? I know you couldn’t have figured that out.”

Why you! Then again… “I also have a big brother. Want to meet him?” you tell him as you bat your eyes in a suggestive manner. More like you want his face to meet your big bro’s fist.

“What the hell? You don’t have any siblings. Quit fucking messing with me.” As if he doesn’t do that to you on a regular basis.

“Well I do now. A few months ago. Got a problem with it?”

Shaw plops himself down on one of your plush chairs. Hey. Shoes! But he doesn’t seem to be too concerned with it. “As if I care about your family.”

You tap your foot while crossing your arms over your chest.

“Next time have a pair of fucking slippers next to the window.”

“Normal people enter through the front door.”

“Have I ever been normal?”

Point taken. You use his distraction to yank off his shoes, much to his surprise and bring it to where he’s supposed to place them. Since you never know when your older brother or Gavin will drop by, you have a few larger slippers waiting for them. You grab a pair and then throw it at him.

“Feisty. No wonder my stupid brother is smitten.”

“What?”

Shaw pushes off the slippers until they fall onto the floor near him. “But he’s too much of a damned chicken to ask you.”

“Ask me what?” Not that you’ve actually gone on a date with him or been together long enough for him to pop the question.

Shaw sighs a long one. “You’re just as stupid as he is. No, it’s not marriage. You haven’t even kissed or gone on a date. So what do you think?”

“If it’s not that, then… on a date?”

“FINALLY! She gets it. Yeah, we need him to get his shit together and grow a pair of balls.”

“We?” There’s that reference to balls. You’ll have to ask your big brother later.

“Being the ‘loving’ little brother I am, I want him to be with the woman he’s heads over heels over.” Loving? Ha, yeah right. What’s his motive?

“And how do you propose we do that? You plan on pranking him?”

“Heh, maybe you’re not as stupid as you look.” Grrr….

“Like whoopee cushions? Stink bombs? Switching the salt and sugar? Bucket of water on his head?”

“I take that back. You’re fucking stupid.” Geee thanks, THAW!

“Whatever you say, Thaw.”

“You want my help or not?” He’s about to put his stinky feet on top of your nice and clean table. When you glare at him, he plops his feet on the chair nearest to him.

“Is it illegal?”

“Is it illegal to be this stupid? If things go according to plan, it shouldn’t.” How many times has he told you his fool proof plans only to have them spectacularly backfire in both of your faces?

“Then what is it?”

Your stomach interrupts him as it reminds you that you have yet to eat breakfast. Oops? Since you know the big brat of a mooch is on your chair, you might as well feed him before kicking him out of your apartment.

“Is that a stomach or a dragon?”

“You want free breakfast or not? Yes, I do have Pepsi and Coke.”

Shaw shrugs and follows you into the kitchen area where you have a table for everyday meals. “I like living on the edge. Why not? It’s free food.”

What is that supposed to mean? It’s not like your cooking is hazardous to one’s health, not after all those lessons from the certified teachers and your mentor (big brother) and even rare, a certain Tsundere who happens to be a 5 star chef in the disguise of a CEO. You pull a can of Pepsi and Coke from your fridge before placing it in front of your so called guest. Next you set a large plastic cup in front of him.

“Plastic? I’m not a kid.”

“I’m not taking any chances.”

Since you’re going to be discussing… plotting how to get Gavin to “grow some balls and ask you on a date,” it should be something that doesn’t require much concentration. You decide on egg scrambles. As to what you’re going to put in it… Your fridge is nicely stocked thanks to you having gone on your weekly grocery run. You’ll put in red bell pepper, spinach, onions, sausage, and a bit of cheese.

“No complaining,” you say this as you’re about to start chopping the veggies, waving a large (and sharp) knife at him.

“Gee. My brother is going to be so whipped when you two get hitched.” He holds hands up in a mock surrender. “Smitten kitten.”

“So what is your big and glorious plan to get him to ask me on a date?” Thanks to your big brother, your knife skills have vastly improved to where you’re no longer cutting yourself… unless you’re surprised or startled. Since you pretty much live alone, there isn’t much to distract or startle you.

Shaw props himself up on his hands, his arms on your table. “We are going to give you a secret admirer.”

“Say what?!”

Shaw winces and in an exaggerated manner tries to clear his ears. “Gods… I don’t think they heard you in Japan or Australia.”

You ignore the comment on the volume of your shout. “What do you mean by giving me a secret admirer? Is that supposed to be you?”

Once Shaw ceases his fake deafness, he becomes as serious as he can be, which compared to others isn’t that much. “No, it’s not me. Why would I want to be a secret admirer of an idiot?” Intense glaring. “We’re going to make up a secret admirer.”

Of all the ludicrous plans of his, this takes the entire take and then some. “… Are you planning on hiring someone to give me gifts?”

This time Shaw laughs, but stops when he sees your knife. “No, we’re going to do it ourselves. Mail takes too long. Borrow Zappy from my idiotic brother.”

Eh? Does not compute. How does Zappy come into this? “Why Zappy?”

“The little guy is like me. He’ll be more than happy to be a little shit to his owner.”

“….”

“And he’s easier to bribe. Hope you have canned mandarin oranges.” Recalling your most recent grocery run, you remember picking up more than a few cans of mandarin oranges. What? You like eating them out of the can when they’re stored in your fridge.

After chopping your ingredients, you crack several eggs before you beat them in a bowl, imagining each yoke to be a certain annoying person’s face. It’s a productive way to get your frustration out. “Yeah, I have some cans.”

“One less thing to take care of. Knowing you, you wonder what Zappy’s involvement in it is. Remember way back when, birds were used to deliver messages?” Nod. “Zappy is going to be our delivery bird.” Wait a moment, how would this cute little bird know where you are? Or carry anything? “Trust me on this. That little shit can find anyone when he wants to and I’ve seen him carrying several kilos in weight.”

“But how would he get what needs to be delivered?” Now you’ve moved to your pan and heated up the oil. Your next move is to stir fry your onions, sausage, and veggies until they’re mostly cooked. If you put them in all at the same time, your eggs will end up burned before the veggies and meat finish cooking.

That’s when he points to himself. “I’ll be holding onto Zappy until it’s time for delivery and you get back home. My idiotic brother doesn’t recognize my handwriting.”

“Then how would you get the gifts to give me? I know you’re not fond of shopping for anything you’re not interested in.” Not to mention, he was a cheapskate… most of the time.

“We’re going shopping today.”

“I’m having lunch with my big bro and Gavin.”

Shaw scowls at first but then brightens up. “You can ask your soon to be bf for Zappy.”

“Won’t it be weird if I ask him?”

“Heh. Must I explain everything to you. Never mind. I’ll go ahead and do it. You’d think the wrong things. Tell him you need Zappy for a project you’re working on. Technically you’re not lying to him. You have a project but it’s not for work.” Ah that smug smile whenever he comes up with a brilliant plan.

Since you’re not lying, you decide to go along with it. What Gavin doesn’t know won’t hurt him in this case. “Logistics taken care of. What is my ‘secret admirer’ going to give me?” He gives you a blank stare. “You don’t have any idea.”

“How am I supposed to know what you like? Remember the key is to make him jealous enough to ask you. That means your secret admirer knows your every preference.”

That totally makes sense. “And I guess we’re going to be buying everything today?”

“Most of the stuff. Your secret admirer will be buying you meals to be delivered to your work.”

Once the scrambles finish cooking, you start toasting the bread. It’ll be done by the time you finish plating your creation. “I guess you’ll be making those calls?”

“Correct. He can’t see or know you’re ordering them for yourself. Otherwise what’s the point in creating your secret admirer? He’d have to be blind and deaf.”

You nod your head. “Minor tends to be a blabbermouth.”

“Fuck… I knew I was forgetting something.” Eh? So Shaw does make mistakes. Good to know.

“Um? He can tell Gavin what I receive?”

“I was going to say post your gifts to your moments…”

“Can’t I do both? It’s one thing to hear about it, but it’s another to see.” You slide over his share, toasted bread and fork included.

“So you do have a brain. Why don’t you use it more?”

You reach over to your used frying pan. “How about I start using this more?”

“You’re perfect for each other.” What is that supposed to mean? “Since you have time, we’ll need to figure out what your secret admirer will be giving you. Minimum of three per day.”

Monday.

1. Favorite tea

2. Favorite snack

3. Fine candy from overseas

Tuesday

1. Bouquet of flowers

2. Lunch delivered from fast food restaurant

3. Cute cell phone case

Wednesday

1. Tea set

2. Lunch delivered from fancy restaurant

3. Coupon for massage

Thursday

1. Earrings

2. Bracelet

3. Necklace

Friday

1. Lunch for employees

2. Candy making machine

3. Me in a naughty lingerie

You make another list and group them according to where you’re buying them. Grocery, candy place, cell phone store, your fave tea place, jewelry shop, massage parlor, and that naughty ahem. Seven shops. Looks like you have your work cut out for you that afternoon.

“Don’t take forever to eat lunch.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Of course not, we have a full day of shopping and not a lot of time to do it.” The New Light mall should have everything you need except for that shop. For that, you’ll need to walk a block down, but that’s the last thing on your list as it’s open much later than the others. You guess it’s due to the cliental and emergency purchases.

When Shaw starts talking about the naughty lingerie, you decide it’s time for him to leave so you can prepare for your lunch date. You kick out a hysterically laughing Shaw.

Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin

When you arrive at the restaurant on time, you notice two things… or rather two people having a nice conversation with each other. Your big brother and Gavin. Seeing their phones out, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out they have exchanged contact info. You hope it won’t end up with either of them in the hospital as you care for them both in different ways. You race up to them.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting for long.”

“Nope. I’m excited to see my little sister.” That’s when you notice several bags near him. “These are all yours.” How are you supposed to carry them?

“I’m too early, and I can give you a ride,” Gavin offers.

Speaking of which, you remember what Shaw has told you about your plan. “Er… mind if we swing by your place?”

Gavin blinks several times in response.

“Mind if I borrow Zappy? It’s for a project I’m working on. Please?”

Gavin runs his hand through his hair. “Sure, but don’t expect him to cooperate. He can be… a pain to deal with.” That’s what he thinks. You know how to bribe this little birdy so it’s no problem. The three of them are smart and each have their own personalities.

“I have my ways. So let’s grab a table?”

“Why don’t we put this in my car?”

Eh, car?

This time Gavin blushes. “Bought one.”

Oh. You recall you complaining about the rain and snow whenever he drives you anywhere. While he doesn’t mind it, you do. Not that he’s a horrible driver in inclement weather. You know you’ll arrive in one piece, but that doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy the ride there.

When you carry your gift to Gavin’s car, you notice your big bro’s truck parked nearby. While it doesn’t stand out, you’ve ridden in it enough time to be able to recognize it even if it’s raining or snowing. Considering how much he’s given you, it makes sense for him to drive this beast of a vehicle. It seems your big bro and Gavin approve of each other so far.

After you placing your order, an awkward silence ensues. You fidget in your seat as you’re unsure what to start talking about, and you notice your big bro is tired in spite of him trying not to show it. Also you have no clue as to what they’ve discussed in the time before your arrival. You want to know, but at the same time, you know both of them well enough to know they’d clam up before they tell you anything they don’t want you to know.

“So how was your trip?”

“Eh. It’s okay. My little brother wasn’t his usual pain in the rear self. My parents were their usual selves.”

“You mean pestering you about getting a boyfriend and adopting a kid?”

Your big brother chuckles as he scratches the back of his head. “Yeah. I haven’t found the one, you know?”

You nod your head, glancing over at Gavin who has taken to playing with his drink as the two of you chat. “You can say that again.” You pause. “I found someone, but… I don’t know if I’m good enough.”

“Pah. He should be grateful you’re interested in him. If anything, it’s he who isn’t good enough for my little sister. I mean you’re funny, friendly, caring, generous, talented, and hard working.” Just like your one, your brother says what he means and means what he says. So in short, he’s being his genuine self. “If he breaks your heart, let’s just say he’s going to need an ambulance.”

“Er… that’s not necessary. He’s sweet and caring, but he’s kind of slow on the uptake.” You say while you keep watch of Gavin from the corner of your eye. It seems he doesn’t take a hint as his demeanor becomes sour. Maybe you should stop talking about this as you want him to be in a good mood. “So what are you looking for in a guy?”

“Hm… Someone strong, honest, loyal, direct, caring, and has an open mind. It helps if he’s smart.” Oh wow, your big brother has really given thought to this. Your thoughts wander to the guys in your life. Two of them fit his description, but one of them happens to be the person you like and the other… well you’re not sure which way he swings. Hell you don’t know if he’s interested in a romantic relationship with anyone. “Not anyone would do.”

You nod your head. “Agreed. You need to have that special connection.”

“So who’s your one?” Your brother just had to ask that question. In spite of you two knowing each other for about a year, it feels like you know each other since you were kids. You know he can’t read minds nor see into any time. He so happens to be too smart for his own good.

Seeing as Gavin is focused on his drink, you nudge your big brother with your foot and then point to Gavin from under the table. It takes him less than a second to get the hint. Could get any more awkward? You have the feeling the answer would be yes, it could. “It’s a secret,” you answer in a sing song way and then stick your tongue out at him.

Your big brother chuckles before reaching over and ruffling your hair like a pet. By now, you’re used to this and actually don’t mind it. He’s your first sibling, and it gives you the warm feels. “All right, keep your secrets. When I find mine, I’m not telling you.” He glances over to the silent Gavin. “What about you? Have you found your one?”

Gavin stops playing with his straw and profusely blushes. He attempts to say something, but it comes out as gibberish. Between you and your big brother, you have no clue what to make of it other than he’s completely embarrassed about who he likes. Part of you wants to poke him until he confesses, however, you want to respect his privacy just as he respects yours.

Although a blushing Gavin looks incredibly adorable and you somehow manage to sneak in a short video of him playing with his straw, you decide to help him out of this. “What about kids? You said you’re going to adopt once you find the one.”

“Probably two, one girl and one boy. Personally I could care less what their gender is so long as they’re healthy and happy, but I suppose that’s how most parents feel about their kids.”

Gavin’s mood goes down. You know bits and pieces about his past, but enough to know that his shit of a father never treated as a son, more like a useless tool. Hah. Useless. Just because someone doesn’t have an evol doesn’t make them useless. Sometimes having an evol is more dangerous than it’s worth.

“Until I find that person, my kids have feathers and beaks.”

“Birds?” You hope you can pet them or maybe birdsit them while your big brother is away.

“I’m in the process of adopting three siblings.”

“Three at once?”

Your brother scratches the back of his head. “I’d rather not separate them. They’re close.”

“Then what’s the delay?”

“They’re not old enough to leave their parents.” That makes sense. Young birds need their parents just as humans need theirs. “I’ll let you know when I bring them home.”

“Do you know their genders?” You plan on spoiling his babies, but you need to know their gender, not that they care about colors.

“Won’t know until their first molt unless I get them tested.” Levi pauses. “I don’t plan on getting them tested. They’re all getting unisex names.” Before you can ask, he answers your question. “They’re normal grey cockatiels. My friend thought he was getting two guys. Turns out he has one guy and one gal. He never saw it coming.”

“They’re going to a good home.” Between the two of you, they’re going to be so spoiled. Thinking about it, you notice Gavin has gone back to playing with his drink. “How’s Pearly, Fiery, Icy, and Zappy?”

Gavin looks up. “They’re doing okay. Those three keep breaking out of their cage.”

“No way. I lost count on how many locks you’ve tried.” It appears all three of them are master escape artists. Good thing they’re well behaved and don’t cause much damage. Before you can ask more questions, your food has arrived.

You each ordered something different. Gavin has a burger with fries, your brother some pasta, and you have their house special salad. Your brother decides he also wants fries so he orders two. Why two? Because he knows you like them. Ah screw it. You need your carbs to keep you full longer. Plus since your salad is healthy, you can afford to eat the fries he ordered for you. Since he ordered it, he said he’d pay for it. You two squabble over it until you hear someone chuckling and look over to find it’s Gavin. It seems the two of you behave like siblings. You let him buy you the fries since they don’t cost a lot, but you’re not budging on the salad. However, when you go to pay for it, you discover someone already has paid for it. You round on your brother who shrugs and promises you he only paid for the fries. Additionally Gavin is acting strangely around you. It appears he paid for your salad. Your brother has kept his promise, however, you know Gavin made no such promises.

Oh well. It frees up funds for your next project. After giving your big brother a few hugs and telling (warning) him to get some sleep, you join Gavin in his car and head to his place. He doesn’t ask you what or why you need that specific bird to which you’re thankful for.

At his door, you hear all four of them making a racket. You wonder if they know you’re there. Since the three birds keep clustering up in one cage every single night, Gavin sells two cages (reserves third for transport) and buys one large cage for the three of them. They’ve been content. Once he unlocks and opens the door, the three birds rush out to greet you, chirping happily. Meanwhile Gavin groans and covers his face with both hands.

Once again, they’ve outsmarted him. Birds: a lot, Gavin: 0

“Nice to see you too.” You give each of them scritches as you greet them.

Gavin relieves you of Fiery and Icy who are annoyed they’re being taken away from you. Zappy cuddles against you, enjoying the attention you’re giving him.

Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin

After acquiring your delivery bird and dropping him off at your apartment, you head over to the New Light Mall where you plan on meeting your partner in prank. Unfortunately, you’re not dealing with one little shit, but two of them. You feel something on top of your head and then comes that familiar chirping.

“Zappy, you’re really an escape artist.”

Zappy happily replies as if to confirm your statement. They jump off your head down to your shoulder and snuggle against your neck. Since it’s more of a pain to go back home and put him in their cage, you let them be. More than likely, Zappy will escape again and again until you let them stay with you. They maneuver to underneath your hair. Silly bird.

Your wait for Shaw is rather short.

“I see you have that bird.” Shaw skateboards towards you. When he’s close, he hops off and does this weird trick where he flips his board so he can grab it.

“He followed me,” you grumble. While you don’t mind them, you prefer they stay in their cage where you leave them. “Reminds me of you.”

Shaw laughs. “You don’t say.” He reaches over to pet the bird who hesitantly accepts it. His expression is all too clear, the ‘I told you so’ one.

“Let’s start from one end and work our way to the other,” you suggest. It means less walking, which your feet greatly appreciate.

“Works for me.”

Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin <3 Gavin

Once you’ve finished your errands at the mall, you’re more than ready to go home except you have one last store and the most important one according to Shaw. However, you’re completely embarrassed to even think about going there. You have a feeling you’re going to be resembling a tomato until tomorrow at this rate. Your little stowaway doesn’t care where you go. You don’t think they’d be embarrassed by anything.

“You can’t chicken out on me. I don’t know your size, and you’re not willing to tell me.” Point taken.

You pull your hood over your head, dislodging Zappy in the process. They squawk before poking you with their rather sharp beak (not enough to break skin) to voice their displeasure. When you get to see them, their feathers are fluffed up and they’re glaring at you. They wait until you finish adjusting your hood before they crawl into it and settle between your neck and your hood.

At least you know where they are and don’t have to chase them like at the mall where you had to chase them more than a few times. It takes bribing them with mandarin oranges to get them back to you. Good thing there’s a supermarket in the mall. You buy extras even if it means carrying those heavy cans. Actually you make Shaw carry them since he’s usually the main reason why you have to chase after that bird. Shaw grumbles and makes threats against Zappy, but he sees the little guy as a bird version of him. In fact, you swear they can be siblings… if they’re the same species.

“Fine, let’s get this done and over with.” You really want to go home before you die of embarrassment or are mortified (petrified) in place.

Zappy keeps your neck warm the entire walk there. They’re like a little heater though not effective unless you’re trying to warm your hands or in this case your neck. Every now and then they poke their head out to see what’s making that noise. What a very curious little imp you have there. It makes you wonder how Gavin manages to deal with all three of them. You recall him mentioning this little one is the ring leader whenever they’re up to their shenanigans.

Once you reach the door, you hesitate until a certain someone shoves you into the store. It turns out Shaw predicted your hesitation and made you go in first so he could give you a little push when you stall at the entrance. You stumble a little inside, causing Zappy to fall off their perch, but you manage to catch them in spite of your bags. They climb back up your arm before snuggling against your neck and chirp in appreciating of you saving them from a harsh meeting with the hard, unforgiving ground.

Shaw grabs your hand and drags you to where they display the lingerie most men would like to see their women dressed in. He scans the racks as they have quite a selection of them. Anything that catches his eye would be pushed in front of you as he determines whether or not it would look good. They end up back on the racks as he doesn’t think it suits your complexion and/or figure. How would he know what you’re figure is considering you’re wearing baggy clothes, thanks to the weather. At least by now, it’s dark outside. You hope it’s enough to make you less conspicuous. It would help if they place your purchase in a plain bag with no store logo on it. Somehow you have the feeling they would.

“Are you planning on looking through the entire lingerie section?” you ask as you reach in your hood to pet Zappy, who is more than happy to receive this attention. They say petting animals can calm a person. Right now, you need that calm before you strangle your accomplice in this prank.

“If you had a better figure, I wouldn’t have to.” Now you’re tempted to throw a bag at him, but since you paid for it, you’d rather not waste it.

You look beside you to find a cute pink lingerie and pick it up to inspect it. When you hear Shaw snort, you lower it to see him giving that disappointed look. “What?”

“You want it to contrast with your skin, not blend in. What are you not thinking?”

“I’m thinking I want to get this done and over with,” you grumble as you place it back. So pink and skin tones are out of the question. That’s when you see something shoved behind the lingerie Shaw vetoed. Reaching over, you somehow extricate it. Oh, it happens to be your size.

Shaw sighs and is about to tell you not that pink lingerie, but stops when he notices you’re holding a red one. He tilts his head and then grabs it to place it before you. “This will do.”

As he’s inspecting the garment, you notice a certain STF uniform. You can’t see who it is, but you’d rather play it safe than sorry. They know who you are thanks to you knowing a certain someone and being friends with his friend. Gossip travels faster than Shaw to his favorite band playing in a concert. You shove an unsuspecting Shaw behind the taller racks, hoping that the person hasn’t seen you and that they’d go away soon.

Shaw squawks, but at least he hasn’t dropped the lingerie. “What is it?”

“STF.”

“It isn’t illegal to be in this shop,” Shaw points out.

You counter with, “But you forget a certain someone will find out when word gets around.”

Instead of giving you a complement, Shaw peers in the direction you’re looking. You both watch as that STF officer talking with someone who you don’t even know is as they’re standing in the shadows. When are they going to leave?

Minutes go by.

At last! They leave. You two scramble to the cashier who doesn’t question you about your odd behavior. Maybe it’s normal for people to hide in there? It’s better you don’t mention it at all. You pay using cash. Good thing they have ATMs at the mall since you were running low. You try not to keep that much on you as you don’t want to be a walking target. Since you’re with two living stun guns, your safety is assured. Zappy wouldn’t let anything happen to you as you spoil them along with the other birds, and Shaw needs some entertainment in his life which unfortunately happens to be you.

When you see the nondescript bag being used, you let out a sigh of relief. The cashier doesn’t bat an eye. They’re probably used to this kind of behavior from new people. However, they raise a brow when they see the two of you together.

“Something you’re not telling me?”

Shaw rolls his eyes. It seems the two know each other. “Not what you think. She isn’t my type. I prefer messing with her and my brother.”

“So you’re her advisor?”

“She’d be completely lost without me.” Shaw leans close to that person. “Trying to seduce my idiot of a brother.”

“I thought you hated each other.”

Shaw shrugs. “He’s okay. We tolerate each other now.” He glances over to you. “A certain someone played therapist.” Gee thanks, Pikashaw. “And I get to mess with him.”

“Nice. Good luck on seducing Gavin.” Just great, they know.

Leaning forward, Shaw whispers something in their ear and both have impish grins. “I’ll let you know what happens.”

“We have your favorite flavor in stock.”

“I’ll grab some later.”

The person reaches below the counter and pulls it up. “I came prepared. How many you want?”

“I’ll take them all.” Shaw then tells the guy a size and requests double his usual.

When he’s finished, you try to see what he bought, but he keeps it above your head, and you’re not about to jump on him to find out. You’re tired and you’d have one unhappy Zappy, one unhappy combo. Not to mention, by now the little bird is most likely full, thus, not as easy to bribe. Well outside of finding something shiny they’d be interested in. A glittery ball (one that doesn’t have glitter glued on) will suffice. Alas, you’re short one glittery ball.

After you arrive at your place, you’re both dead tired on your feet. You order take out to be delivered, and oddly enough Shaw is willing to fork over the money this time. With the exception of lunch, you paid for everything including Zappy’s bribes. Good thing Shaw doesn’t like to move when he’s tired. You’d rather not have to explain to your neighbor, Lucien, why you have male company who isn’t him or one of your employees.

As you’re digging into your Chinese take-out, you feel something brush up against you. You’re first instinct is to scream, but your mouth is full of egg roll. Oh, it’s just Zappy who’s stealing a noodle from you. HEY! You doubt you’re supposed to feed them that since it’s probably not healthy, but something tells you that they most likely snag some from Gavin when he’s not looking, It’s just one noodle.

On the other side of the table, Shaw laughs at the sight of the bird pilfering one of your noodles. Why don’t they grab one of his noodles? Since he paid for dinner, you let it slide. After you finish eating and throw out the empty containers, you plan on kicking Shaw out, but when you’re back from getting ready for bed, you see him out cold on your couch. Perched on top of his chest is a sleeping Zappy.

Just this time, you’ll let him stay. After all, you don’t want to wake up the cute little bird.

Day 1 <3 Day 1 <3 Day 1 <3 Day 1 <3 Day 1

When you wake up this morning, you find Shaw organizing your purchases and nearby him are materials to wrap the gifts from you “secret admirer.” Next to him is a playful Zappy. They’re rolling around with one of those shiny bows. You figure Shaw threw it at them or let them have it to keep them entertained while he worked on the prank.

“Morning.”

“Chirp!” Zappy’s on their back with their legs holding the bow up. What an odd position, but the bird seems fine and isn’t panicking.

“Breakfast is on the table.”

You glance over in the direction of your kitchen. Did he cook something? You’re not sure how good of a cook he is, but you definitely know your culinary skills are much better than his.

As if reading your mind, “I woke up early and got breakfast.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Shaw?”

Shaw rolls his eyes. “I can wake up early if I have an incentive.”

“And pray tell, what is the incentive?”

“I get to mess with my brother.” Why doesn’t this surprise you?

In addition to breakfast being on the table, you see he brewed a pot of coffee. You squash your giggles. The brothers are more alike than they care to admit. Breakfast is on the cold side, but it’s edible and tastes good. Coffee could use improvement on. At least he tried.

Once you’ve changed in your room and grab what you need for work, you give Zappy some scritches which they want more of and leave a surprised Shaw a spare key to your apartment. You tell him it’ll be a pain if he keeps breaking in, and when he leaves to do whatever he does, you’d rather have your place secured. He can’t lock it from the outside.

When you reach the spot, you find your ride nowhere in sight. You glance at your watch to find you’re actually early for a change, early by ten minutes. Normally you’re a patient person, but with this weather, you’d rather not be waiting outside. Three minutes after texting, your ride arrives.

“Good morning, Gavin,” you greet him as he hands over the second helmet.

“Morning,” Gavin replies. Something is bothering him like really bothering him. It’s not your place to poke your nose in his business. At the same time, you don’t like seeing him this way.

The ride becomes awkwardly silent as neither of you know what to say other than your greetings. It’s as if you’ve gone back to square one. No matter, by the end of this week, he will definitely be happy. You’re sure of it.

At your place, you hear your employees gossiping. Haven’t you given them enough work? Working and gossiping at the same time? Meh, you’ll deal with it. However, it’s the topic of their discussion that grabs your attention. A few of them move out of the way so you can get to your desk. On top of it, you see a very familiar package.

“A gift? It isn’t my birthday,” you say pretending to be surprised.

Kiki slides over to you and starts shaking you. “Open it. Open it!” She’s more excited than. Granted she has no idea about your plan.

When you reach your desk, you notice the gift has been meticulously wrapped. Not a single crease or ribbon out of place though it’s a bit bent in a few areas due to delivery. You open the card first. In it, Shaw has written some sappy poem and signed it with Secret Admirer. Knowing your employees will not get any work done until you tell them, you read it out loud. A few catcalls and one shut up glare later, you’re tearing through the wrapping.

“How did he know I’m running low on my favorite tea?” He doesn’t. You picked it yourself. Having received random gifts in the past, you take it in stride. The idea of it being poisoned doesn’t pop in your mind.

“Oh wow, Boss,” Kiki whistles. “I bet it’s from Kiro. You two like the same stuff.”

“I doubt it. He’s been too busy with work.” You decide to make yourself a cup. As you’re heading to the kitchen area, you realize the tea arrived before you did. Not to mention, Shaw was in the middle of getting it ready when you woke up.

Oh right, messenger has wings so of course they’ll reach your work faster than you.

When you return from making your tea, everyone scrambles to look busy. You know they’re very much curious about who your secret admirer is. Trying to ignore their stares is harder than it appears. How does Gavin do it?

Time to enter the battlefield.

Some time later, Willow calls for you. She doesn’t sound panic, more like confused.

At the window, you find Zappy outside, tapping the window. No one has opened it. You open the window to let them in. They stay for a whole minute before high tailing it out of there. What they leave you is another package wrapped in a similar style as the tea.

You pull out your phone to take a picture of it and then proceed to open it. As to why you hadn’t taken a picture of the previous present, it didn’t occur to you until now. After you read the cheesy romantic poem, you tear through the wrapping and reveal your favorite snack. Good timing too as it’s too early for lunch, but your stomach says it wants something. You (along with your employees) take a picture of it. As you’re nibbling on it, you make a post on moments and include the photo.

By the end of the day (no need for OT yet), you’re gathering your belongings and ready to head home when you hear something run into a window. You (along with your employees) rush over to the window and find that same bird. Zappy appears to be fine, making you wonder if they purposely flew into the window.

You open the window and go over the same process. This time it’s foreign chocolate. Wait a moment, this isn’t the one you picked up with Shaw. You wonder if the brat went out to buy something else. Nah, he’s too lazy to do it when there are acceptable options available to him.

Now your entire office is buzzing. Perfect.

Instead of Gavin coming to pick you up, it’s your big brother. “Lev! What’s up?”

Levi crosses his arms over his chest. “Your last moments post.” Eh? “Those are the chocolates I bought you.”

Aw crap, they looked familiar to you. “Ehehehehe. Funny you should mention that.” You break down and tell him your secret admirer plan.

Instead of being angry or annoyed, Levi seems to be on board with this. He offers his help without being prompted or hinted. You hug him before you put on the helmet and hop onto his motorcycle.

What’s up with guys and their motorcycles?

Day 2 <3 Day 2 <3 Day 2 <3 Day 2 <3 Day 2

Second day. Gotta hang in there and keep it a secret. When Shaw found out you told your other brother, he almost lost it, but you reassure him that your brother is on board with the plan. Now you have someone who can assist should you need it. Somehow you have the feeling you’ll need all the help you can get.

An hour into work, a delivery person shows up with a bouquet of flowers. He asks for you since you’re the recipient. When you make yourself known, he hands over you the bouquet and an electronic device for you to sign it saying you’ve received the package.

In this time, your employees gather around you, whispering and of course gossiping. They also pull out their cameras and are openly taking pictures of it. Are they paparazzi? You search for the card and read it out loud, the customary poem and signature. Thankfully you have the foresight to buy a vase to be delivered with it. After a moment arranging it on your desk, you take a picture for you moments post.

Concentrating on your proposal, you forget you’re supposed to eat until another delivery person arrives. Instead of flowers, it’s your lunch. He hands you the bag and an envelope as if he does this on a regular basis. You tell him to wait a moment and tip him with a snack as you don’t have time to dig through your purse. Also, it looks like he could use something to eat. He thanks you for noticing it and heads on his way to his next delivery.

By now everyone is crowded around you, you use your outdoor voice to tell them the latest poem except this time you leave out who sent it to you. They should know it’s from your secret admirer. After all, who has been giving gifts on a regular basis? Well yesterday.

You, Kiki, and Willow have lunch together. It’s almost like a pot luck with the way you’re sharing your lunch. Both Kiki and Willow spend time trying to figure out who your secret admirer is. Kiki believe it’s Kiro while Willow says it’s from Gavin due to the poems. You remind them poetry is more of something Lucien would do. They have forgotten him.

Close to the end of the day, you manage to have good timing when you look out the window and see that familiar yellow/black bird flying in your direction. You abruptly stand up, startling your employees and open the window. They stare at you until they too see that bird drop off your latest gift and leave.

The same routine happens and you open your gift to find a cute cell phone case. “Oh wow, how does he know I have this model of phone?” you gasp in (what you hope) surprise.

Willow frowns. “Your secret admirer knows a lot about you. You sure this person isn’t a stalker or something?”

You wave her off. “I doubt a stalker would go through this.” Once you take a picture of the case, you replace your old one with it. Then you upload the picture onto moments.

Day 3 <3 Day 3 <3 Day 3 <3 Day 3 <3 Day 3

“Hey Boss,” Minor says hesitantly as if you’re going to attack him. Or maybe it’s Gavin.

“Yes?”

“Bro is upset. I mean really upset. Haven’t seen him this way since… high school.”

“Which bro are you talking about?” Your question reminds him that you have a bro, and that he should specify which one when referring to them.

“Gavin.”

This worries you as it’s way too early. “He hasn’t done anything, has he?”

Minor shakes his head. “I mean I like hanging out with him and all, but all he does is sulk or rant about your secret admirer.”

“He’s not drinking?”

“I offered him a can, but he refused. He takes his job seriously.” Minor sounds proud of Gavin as if they’re father and son instead of being high school friends.

You lean closer to Minor. “Whatever you do. Do NOT give him alcohol unless you want your New Year’s bonus to disappear.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And no telling Gavin I told you this.”

Minor gulps. “I’ll try.”

When you return from making your morning tea, you find that tea set, sitting on your desk. How Zappy delivered it without breaking anything leaves you confounded. You scurry over to your desk and open your gift. The rustling draws the attention of your employees. After removing the last piece of wrapping, you hold it up as high as you dare to show everyone. Unlike the other gifts, the note is in the tea pot. You open it since you hadn’t seen any note. Where is Shaw getting all these poems? You don’t think he’s into poetry.

Then it dawns on you… big bro is helping.

Anna brings order to the office as she ushers everyone back to work. “How many presents have you received?”

You start ticking off each one. “I think this is the seventh.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t lead him on. If you’re not interested, tell him.”

“Uh… how am I supposed to tell him when I have no clue who he is?” You’d give yourself a pat on the back for that superb performance if it wouldn’t look foolish as no one would have a clue as to why you’re congratulating yourself, and you’d rather not them questioning your sanity… what’s left of it once you and Shaw finish this plan.

When you open your moments, you notice a number of replies. In fact, this is the highest number you’ve received ever since you started the account. It’s what you don’t see that starts worrying you. In all your posts, Gavin has yet to make a comment. You know that he knows, thanks to Minor blabbering to you.

What sounded like a good idea at the time is now sounding like a horrible one. You don’t want to see Gavin this depressed or crushed. It’s almost the halfway point. You can do this. You just hope the other two birds can keep Gavin’s spirits from sinking way down. Sure, Pearly is cute and cuddly, but he doesn’t pick up on emotions like the other two do.

You text your big brother asking him if this is the right thing and that you’re questioning yourself whether it’s a good idea or not. His quick response doesn’t surprise you by now. You’re used to it. He tells you it’s like going to get a shot at the doctors or pulling off a bandage. The thought of what’s to come is worse than the actual act. You thank your big brother. He always knows what to say to encourage and support you even if it’s something you regret much later on.

Lunch is delivered and served from a fancy restaurant. The chef herself has put on a performance for you as she prepares your meal. Your coworkers look on in awe by the way she moves her cooking utensils and the food goes where it’s supposed to go, not flying all over the place. At the end of her performance, she hands you the card with the cheesy, romantic poem.

Your female employees are gushing over how you have a very generous and thoughtful secret admirer as he’s giving the stuff you like. Not to mention, he isn’t cheap either and going all out for you. You laugh nervously, saying that one day you hope you can see who likes you enough to go out of his way. The girls swoon over the thought and their vision of what/who he is.

The next delivery is a simple envelope via Zappy. When you show what you receive, they’re clearly disappointed and go back to working except for those two and Anna. You open it to reveal a coupon for a complete massage package at the trendy massage parlor. When Kiki squeals in excitement, your other employees snap their attention back to you and gather around you. This has become quite normal.

“So what are you planning to do?” Kiki asks as if you’re planning to give it away, and she hopes you’d pick her.

“Go after work. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Your thoughts drift over to Gavin and how he’s coping with all this.

“Aww…”

You chuckle before tapping her on her head with the envelope. “Last time I checked, it’s addressed to me.”

“This secret admirer must want you badly.” Willow whistles. “They only have the highest quality service and equipment.”

Anna gives you that look, but at the same time, you promised not to tell anyone else. “Kids these days.” She sighs and heads to wherever she is before your envelope arrived.

Day 4 <3 Day 4 <3 Day 4 <3 Day 4 <3 Day 4

That was one of your best night of sleep ever since you could remember. Ever since the first day, your big brother has been playing chauffeur. He doesn’t mind since he can arrange his work schedule around to fit yours and has assured you many times that you’re not a burden to him. In fact, he’d be quite troubled should you ask someone else to drive you to and from work.

You hear bits and pieces of a conversation you’re not supposed to be a part of. It’s not that you’re trying to eavesdrop. More like, your entrance isn’t noisy so they don’t know you’re here. You frown when you piece together the info.

When you appear, they cease their conversation and act as if nothing has happened. You decide to let them off with a warning this time.

“There will be no gambling here so you can stop wagering on who is sending me these gifts.” Your employees groan and grumble, but they comply with your wishes or at least they appear to. You hadn’t thought this far ahead. As for Shaw, you’re not sure he has even considered this.

When you reach your desk, you find a small jewelry box. Unlike the other gifts, it’s not nicely wrapped but placed in a see through bag for transport. You read off the poem. The first part of today’s gift is a pair of earrings.

“Oh my, he is serious,” Anna says as she looks over your shoulder.

“I’d answer only if I had someone to give that answer to.”

Anna gives you a supportive smile. “I know. You’re not the type of person to play with someone’s emotions.” She heads to her desk.

Hearing her say those words, you start feeling guilty. Are you playing with Gavin’s emotions? You’re not stringing him along as you’re trying to get him to ask you. The easiest way is to go up and tell him to his face, but as they say, easier said than done.

Willow leans back in her chair. “Why are you moping around? You have a very generous and wealthy secret admirer.”

You sigh a long one. “I just don’t want to be seen as taking advantage of his generosity.” Yeah right, you paid for all of these.

“Then he should grow a pair and tell you how he feels.” You know Willow is on your side no matter what you do and that includes the amateur mistakes you made when you first started. Not to mention, Kiki and Anna feel the same way. As for Minor, you’d rather not have him choose between you and Gavin.

“I hope he does soon. For my sanity.”

“And for Bro’s too,” Minor chimes in the conversation.

Everyday you’ve brought your own lunch even though you know you’re going to be receiving something from your secret admirer. If you brought your meals on the days you’re not going to have food delivered, then it would appear suspicious. As you’re about to tear into your sandwich, you hear a familiar chirping. You grab a mandarin orange, hiding it in your hand and head over to the window where an expectant Zappy is waiting with your gift. Positioning yourself between you and the bird, you use the hand with the orange to reach over and grab the parcel. However, you let Zappy grab the orange and let them take off.

“What is it?”

“Calm down, I’m opening it.” True to your word, you read the poem and open the jewelry box to reveal a matching bracelet. By now everyone knows the drill. They gather around you taking pictures. However, you decide not to post anything in moments as you know certain people are following you.

“I bet you’re going to get a necklace,” Kiki giggles from her seat to which you roll your eyes.

“We’ll see.”

Hours later, that necklace arrives. Kiki gives the ‘I told you so’ look. You two tease each other for a few minutes. Now that you think about it, she’s like a sister you never had, a younger sister. Maybe this is how Levi feels towards you. It takes Willow pulling on her ear to get her back working until you all call it a day and head home.

“Having second or third thoughts?” Your big brother asks when you approach him.

“Yeah. I just wish he’d do something, but he hasn’t contacted once,” you grumble and take his place behind him on his bike. Of course, you wear a helmet.

“Oh he’s been doing something all right,” Levi says though he doesn’t start his bike. “He’s been bothering me about who your secret admirer is. He believes you tell me everything.” Yeah, while you do tell him a lot, it’s not everything.

“Did you tell him?”

“I told him to ask you directly.”

Phew.

Day 5 <3 Day 5 <3 Day 5 <3 Day 5 <3 Day 5

When nothing arrives for you in the morning, your employees are greatly disappointed. Don’t they have something like work to do? You suppose it has been their entertainment for this otherwise boring week, and they need something to help them get through it.

“Everyone!” Anna yells over their chatter. After it becomes quiet, she continues. “Courtesy of our boss’ secret admirer, we have lunch!”

Your employees cheer and anyone close to you thanks you for having such an awesome secret admirer. Some even tell you to keep this person. You’re relieved when they don’t ask any questions. Between you and Anna you organize how the lunch is to be distributed. There will be four different groups, going at staggered times to pick up their meals. When the current group is almost finished, you call for the next group to line up and begin. It’s like one of those buffets or pot lucks where people fall in line and then pick up what they want.

Later that afternoon, you hear a thud and a squawk at the window. You rush over since you know who made that noise and find a very tired Zappy on top of a very large box. Poor little guy. You pick up the bird and take them in, leaving the box for now. Once they’re at your desk, you go back for the box. It’s heavier than you thought. No wonder why Zappy struggled to fly it over.

“I knew it. That bird looks exactly like bro’s,” Minor announces to the entire office. He reaches over only to pull his hand back when the bird snaps at him. “Maybe not. Zappy’s nicer.”

You keep the window open for when the delivery bird feels ready to make the trip back to your apartment where you know Shaw has been hanging out lately. He claims he doesn’t want to haul your gifts to his place and would rather crash at yours. You’re annoyed at first, but then realize, it’s more practical for him to stay there with you, the gifts, and the bird.

“Boss, do you even know how to use it?” Kiki asks as she reads the side of the box. This isn’t wrapped, and instead of being in an envelope, your poem along with signature has been taped to one side.

Your eye twitches. “That’s why they come with instruction manuals.”

“How many instruction manuals have read and understood?” Trust those two to give you a hard time. They’re not doing it maliciously. It’s more on teasing in a good way. Like you’re three sisters.

“Youtube.”

They both sport this ‘oh’ look as if they practiced doing it in synch. You guess you’ve been around each other long enough that your small habits have rubbed off on each other.

“And here I was going to share the candy with you.”

The two become much more friendly and helpful. When you open it, they’ll help you use it… at your place on the weekend.

Zappy is too tired to fly back, and you hide them until everyone has left. Then you call your big brother up to your company and have him carry down the candy making machine while you carry the little bird. On your way, you give a slight nod of your head to the security guards who do a double take when they see your little bundle. By now, they’re used to having your big brother come and go from your work place. It also helps he’s on friendly terms with them.

Instead of his bike, Levi brings his truck along with Shaw and Zappy’s cage. You hand over the exhausted bird to Shaw before hoisting yourself into the front passenger seat. Then you notice the gift you’re supposed to be wearing and the other items to set the mood.

Your next stop is Gavin’s place. It dawns on you that you don’t have a key to his apartment. How are you supposed to enter his apartment without one? You glance over to Shaw and then your big brother. It seems they have it planned out or so you hoped.

When you reach Gavin’s apartment, Levi pulls out what looks to be a lock picking set. He gets to work on the door. A few seconds later, you hear the sound of a door being unlocked. He gives you a cheeky grin. “Bet you didn’t know I could do this.”

“You never told me.”

“You never asked.”

Levi apologizes for driving you there and running. He has an appointment with a client. You’re grateful he at least brings up Zappy’s cage. He tells you he’ll drop by your place after to deliver your candy making machine.

Shaw shrugs. “He demanded I give him your spare key.”

Right. You thank every deity Levi has taken things into his own hands and got your spare key back. Knowing the brat, you figure he’d give you a hard time for awhile and then let you have it. It occurs to you he may have created a duplicate. You’ll ask your landlord if you can change locks later at your expense. Your landlord can be a real piece of work, but if you’re offering to cover the expenses and the request is within reason, he’ll give it the green light.

You place Zappy back into their cage with the other two who are very worried for their companion. The birds start chirping up a storm. You have no clue what they’re talking about and figure they’re catching up on whatever they missed. Not like Icy and Fiery have anything interesting to say except for how Gavin has been behaving lately.

Shaw takes out your lingerie. “You get changed. I’ll set up here.”

Since you’ve been there quite a few times, you know your way around even without any lights. You can walk around there in your sleep for crying out loud. “Thanks for everything.”

Instead of replying with ‘You’re welcome,’ Shaw motions for you to get going and rifles through the bag for something.

Once in the bathroom, you realize you’re not sure how to put on this lacy garment without accidentally ripping it. You were too embarrassed to ask the person who sold it to you, Shaw’s friend… acquaintance. Turning it around and around gives you no clue how to don it. As you become frustrated, you take a deep breath. What did you say about Youtube? Oh yes.

Good thing you take your phone with you and start searching for instructions on how to put the thing on. You find something, but it’s not on the website you thought you’d find it. As you’re following it step by step, you see something off. Oh Shaw has removed all the tags. How thoughtful of him… when he wants to be. You swear he does most of the things on purpose to get a reaction of you.

Since you’d rather not rip it before you have a chance to actually wear it, you go through the motions slowly and handle the lacy gently. With the tags removed, there goes any chance of returning or exchanging it. You swear it should come with a set of instructions on how to wear it.

You look at yourself in the mirror and turn around to make sure you have everything where it needs to go, not that there’s much in the way of fabric or lace. This is for Gavin so it has to be perfect. He’s given so much to you and you want to show how much you appreciate him. You squash your rising feeling of guilt for what you’ve most likely him through these past… four and a half days. This day isn’t over so it doesn’t count as a full day.

Seeing everything in order, you blush as you think about how Gavin would respond. Would he be a stuttering and blushing mess? Tripping over his words? Or would he be like a hungry wolf ready to pounce on his prey? It brings up memories of when you dressed as Little Red Riding Hood while he was the Big Bad wolf for your Halloween party. You’re not the only couple who came dressed as a set. Kiki and her boyfriend came as Cinderella and Prince Charming while Minor and Willow as Snow White and her Prince. Before the party, you decided to go with a fairytale theme.

When you pick up your phone, you notice how much time has passed. You place your hand on the knob ready to exit, but… do you want Shaw to see you like this? Maybe you can cover yourself with your jacket until he leaves. No, that won’t work as he needs to help you arrange yourself on Gavin’s bed. That means he’ll have to eventually see you wearing it.

“Here goes nothing.”

As you open the door, you involuntarily hold your breath. Your body reminds you to breathe once you step out of it. “Shaw, we need to hurry up!” With your attention on carrying your clothes and cell phone, you miss seeing something important.

That is until…

“Shaw, what the hell are you doing with her?”

This voice could only belong to… Gavin. You raise your head to see Gavin on the verge of strangling his own brother who was trying to fight back the tears… no, laughter.

“This isn’t what it looks like!”

Gavin’s eyes drop onto the bed where Shaw has laid thick ribbon, a bow, a flower, and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. Then his gaze moves over to you and your huge blush.

“SHAW! When did you get this?” You point to the fuzzy handcuffs. The ribbon, bow, and flower, you already know about it. But that adult toy is something you’ve never laid eyes upon until now.

“You two are boring. I’m spicing things up between you two so sue me.” Shaw shrugs as if it’s an everyday occurrence to break into a brother’s place with someone who likes him and that kind of toy.

Gavin frowns before he slams Shaw into the nearest wall. Good thing they’re not far away from it. “You…”

Instead of being upset or angry, Shaw starts laughing hysterically as if he’s lost his mind. You stare at him as if he’s grown an extra appendage. On the other hand, Gavin is too furious to care.

“Date. Date. Date. Date.” Since none of you are talking and no one else should be in the apartment, you and Gavin start scanning his room for the source. Meanwhile Shaw is laughing so hard he looks like he’s crying. If isn’t for his older brother, you swear he’d kiss the floor by now.

As soon as the chanting resumes, you and Gavin stare in disbelief. Never in either of your wildest imaginations (and you have a very active one) did you think any of these birds can speak, but here they are chanting one word. Date.

With Shaw out of the picture (laughing), Gavin turns to you for an explanation and when he really gets a good look at you, he too resembles a tomato. He averts his gaze to anywhere except you.

After taking take a deep breath, you somehow manage to get your feet moving over to him. You place your hands on his arm as if reassuring him. “Nothing is going between us.” You point to Shaw and then to yourself. “Promise.”

“Then why is he here and you’re wearing… that.”

Shaw manages to calm himself down to where he can speak. “My idiot of a brother needed to grow a pair of balls.”

“What did you say?” Gavin pushes him back into the wall.

“Man up.”

“….”

“Isn’t it obvious why she’s doing this?”

“…. No.”

“She wants you to fuck her.”

“SHAW!” You’re tempted to slap him, but with the way the two brothers are positioned, you’re not tall enough to reach over and give him a smack.

“All right. All right. Since you’re too much of a coward, she needed to take drastic measures.”

“You’re not the secret admirer?”

Shaw snorts. “There never was one.”

“Then how… what… those gifts.”

“I bought them and Shaw helped me send them to myself,” you finally admit. “Are you mad at me?”

Gavin exhales in relief, all that pent up anxiety and frustration released at once, now that he knows you never had a secret admirer. At the same time, he’s a little annoyed. “But why him?”

“Err… he knows you better than I do.” You hope this will suffice. It does to a certain extent.

“Now that you know, you can let go.”

“Why should I?”

“You plan on going on a date with her holding me like this?” Shaw motions to the two of them.

“No. Why didn’t you tell me?”

You puff up your cheeks. “For the same reasons why you didn’t ask me.”

Conflicting emotions appeared in those amber eyes. “I see.”

“Great, now that you two lovebirds have made up, you can release me.” Shaw pauses. “I left you a little surprise under the pillow.

Curiosity gets the better of you and you reach over to yank the pillow off. What you reveal causes your blush to intensify, Gavin to become a stuttering mess, and Shaw to laugh hysterically again. You hastily shove the pillow back over the items, wanting them to disappear.

“Gavin, I—”

You notice Gavin on the move still holding a hysterically laughing Shaw. You follow him until he reaches the entrance and literally throws his brother out. He slams the door with a little too much force, causing the walls to rattle along with your nerves. You gulp.

Man, you’re in big trouble.

The loud pounding on the door diverts both your attention. “I forgot to mention. I left a book in the bag. You’ll need it for tonight.”

“The bag” happens to be on a table close to Gavin. He reaches over to open it and then closes it immediately.

All three birds wolf whistle and make suggestive chirps. At least they’re out here and not in the bedroom. You open your mouth to say something when you’re swept off your feet and carted off to his bed.

Gavin uses his weight to pin you. “A little bunny has been very naughty.”

#mlqc #mlqc mc #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #mlqc haku #mlqc shaw #pokemon #zapdos #Zappy #sibling complexes #brotherly love #little shit Shaw #naive MC

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anyu-blue · 4 years ago

Text

I know a big part of it is the sleep deprivation.. again.. but I'm hella depressed.

Like overall I'm.. content? I guess? I have job. = Good. I have place to live. = Good. I have my game(s) I can play anytime I have time/want. = Good. I have appointments to try and get feeling better and keep trying and keep trying when I don't. = Good. I have Kizzy and will probably have him for at least 3 more years, if not longer. = Good. I have contingency plans in place for paying for my surgeries. = Good.

I've got a lot of good right now. And it's not that I'm ungrateful. I am EXTREMELY grateful. Considering my issues I've done extremely well. Even if some of it was on accident.

It's just.. well.. I'm tired, of course. Not sleeping well or much for days on end sucks. Especially because I could have, but people are going to keep living their lives and accidentally waking/keeping me up because they just don't think about my situation 24/7. Or even know it. Or consider it. Because life's too short for that according to, like everyone but me.

I'm sick of course. I've definitely tried the 'I'm doing great/not sick!!' mindset.. and it doesn't work.. cuz stuff HURTS. I don't have the energy to keep pretending either... And I don't think there was really a time I wasn't sick. Not in my whole life.. and It feels impossible to have any hope I'll ever not be physically sick... No matter what or how hard I try. Especially because I'm aging as all people do. Especially being forced to constantly check what I eat because if I don't I can hurt myself/make myself even more sick. Or starve, which hurts me too but is better than the alternatives. Especially being I have to rely on a healthcare system that looks down on what I can afford. Especially because what I can afford is so little. Especially because of our healthcare system being so politically charged people like me with the needs I have (even just replacing bones!!! Hello?! Our STUPID society forgets teeth are BONES and NECESSARY ones at that- but the instant you say teeth people literally don't give two shits, think you're just vain, and 100% brush you off. Even doctors.. and I have cried so hard over this stupid stuff and tried to rally and I'm STILL trying to save my own god damn life. I hate saying that's what I'm doing because I have some of that stupidity in me of thinking vanity... But I'm literally trying to save my forsaken life and be a LOT less miserable, and I feel so hopeless because only the little people who get it actually seem to want to help/be able to push aside that vanity thought and it hurts so badly to ask them to squeeze for me-- thank you if you're reading this and you've reblogged/shared my post. And I cannot thank you enough, and feel I owe you so much if you've donated... Every tiny bit helps. You and I are little people in the sense we don't exactly have $10,000+ to just throw around an have no worries about lol)

I'm.. also lonely? I guess? .. it's probably the best way to describe it. I don't like people all over me. Or really messaging constantly because moods change and People have lives.. but I miss... I want... Stress free interactions. Getting to spend time and go and do things. Not being alone all the time or missing out on everything. Time is meaningless pretty much right now in the sense I've missed all the holidays. 100%. No time spent celebrating or using the time or even seeing people. Im so much a damn adult and yet I still feel like crying whenever my siblings/cousins talk about last halloween because they had so much fun... They spent the day together in matching costumes by themselves at a park. And that's it... I was delirious from sleep deprivation when I saw them for the 5 minutes I did.. and stress because of my ex being the bastard he is to me. And work. So I couldn't join them. And it doesn't bother them in the least. It's such a happy memory for them and I am struggling to let go of the envy. They have so many days they spend together too.. remotely mostly, but they have so much fun. They wake me up alot with their calls.. and get pissed when I'm like hey guys I'm sorry but could you tone it down? I honestly stopped asking lately because they get so pissed and have even been like 'It wasn't me at all!!' even when I can quote what they said back to them and try to find anything and anyone else to blame... My little sister especially is CONSISTENTLY Telling me she has no idea what she even just said so I know it's bullshit it's not her.... And it just hurts. I try so hard. I drug myself to fall asleep almost every single workday now and I hate it. It's not good for you I feel. Says non habit forming but I just. Uck. And I have familiar, soft sound on. And I've shut my cat out. And I've consistently changed my bedding and cleaned and worn masks/covered my eyes, and done everything I can think of to try and make sure I'm going to sleep as long as possible. I don't go to bed and wake up early in the evenings to cook or spend time with them anymore because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I don't stay up to see my sisters during the day anymore. Because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I turn everything off (besides what I hope will help with the noise) at noon and try to lay down as soon after noon as I can every day. Anything blue gets covered or turned off. Everything has red light filters too to get rid of the blue.. but I can't seem to get more than a few jagged hours any given day unless it happens to be their early days where they take naps or I end up so exhausted I'm passed out at night when I should be awake so my shifts aren't so hard... So all that adds up to my being alone and lonely as my own damn fault. Because obviously I stopped making the efforts... The thing that hurts most about that is I was the only one making ANY effort at all to include myself in people's lives (still rings true for everyone in my own city at least- family, friends, the works).. and when I HAD to stop and told them why and asked if they'd be willing to meet me sometimes when it was hard for them (even like once a month fully planned out if need be, or spontaneous because I'm NOT picky)... I got yesses. I did. But. Do you think it ever once happened besides the very day we talked about it?

No.

I can and have gone through every single message and note I have (my memory isn't what it was after I got as sick as I did last fall so I try to keep track of everything instead of relying on my memory anymore)... The only person who even slightly tried was only doing so because he wanted every gd opportunity to beg me to sleep with him (pretty much- he wasn't subtle).. and I had to cut him out because he's not a good person in his own right, sadly. Which left me entirely alone in many ways. Which leaves me entirely alone unless I reach out first and sacrifice sleep.

The continuance of this unfortunately has contributed to my depression.. and the fact no one wants to be around cuz I'm a bummer. And the sleep issues have caused irritability I try so hard to control, but at certain stages I just lose my filters and don't want to say stuff or ramble but I also don't want to miss the opportunity with the person (usually one of my sisters) so stuff gets awkward and they don't like being around THAT. And I don't blame them. But I'd do?

Ugh... I know night shift is my fault... And is a major part of the problem... But I work it to avoid People who don't care about me and mine. To keep myself safe. To keep myself from having panic attacks. I'm doing a lot better with them... But I was breaking down so often at or about work it was getting out of hand... With night shift I'm not overwhelmed like that and I don't have to worry do much about my poor mind losing its sharpness as much. I can take my time more or less. And I get paid enough to survive. ....

I'm just depressed and I know it's on me but I wish I had more help than I do..

Wishing is also the problem. Instead of being happy with what I have.

Blargh...

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #trigger warnings apply #rambling

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lavendertwilight89 · 4 years ago

Note

“Bite me” 🤣

only like... a billion years later...

Also posted on AO3 in Asks and Answers

Oh annnnnnnnd THERE IS SMOOTSSSSSSSS

Tags:

@kagometaishostory @dangerouspompadour @lemonlushff @willowandfog @cstormsinukagblog @littlestuffstohide @clearwillow @ruddcatha @hnnwnchstr @smmahamazing @wolverine1092 @inuyashaloverforever @xfangheartx @umacaking @bluejay785 @murdergiraffe @superpixie42 @shnuggletea @sistasecbhere @nopenname22 @mcornilliac @sapphirestarxx @fawn-eyed-girl @liz8080 @shinidamachu @neutronstarchild @arcprz @kaze-ranna @alerialblu @nsr0716 @sailorbabydoll92 @sailorlolo @swaggingtomboy @keichanz @mamabearcat

There was an infinite number of reasons Inuyasha hated Kagome going back home. Firstly, it shouldn’t be her home. She was home when she was in their era--or rather his era… either way, the future shouldn’t be where she called home. Her home was with him--or by him. Whatever.

Secondly, he wasn’t allowed to just go anywhere he pleased--specifically, to follow her around while she was at school or with her friends in town. What if she got into trouble and he wasn’t around to save her? She was always tripping or finding a way to get kidnapped or hurt--she was a walking accident!

Thirdly, it fucking smelled terrible. The pollution and other modern smells overpowered his fucking senses. He often left with a migraine. Stupid future shit. No wonder demons weren’t around--they wouldn’t fucking survive.

Fourthly, he… well… he just missed her. When she wasn’t around. Near. God, she was turning him into the biggest wuss on the planet.

They’d been traveling together for just over a year now; their friends and they had been to almost every corner of Japan. Naraku was still at large, but he had been quiet for quite some time. Probably just as frustrated as they were with the lack of jewel shards to be found.

Shockingly, Inuyasha and Kagome had gotten into another fight. Not like the fights they used to have--noooo those had simmered down since their first year of travel. These were just based on… differences of opinions. Such as she, wanting to go home because she had a test and him, saying tests were pointless and she didn’t need to go.

Unfortunately… she won. Per usual. Only because she could fucking sit him and call it a day. So, he reluctantly followed her because--it wasn’t like he had anything better to do than watch the slayer and monk ogle each other or watch the slayer beat the tar outta him when he made to flirt with another woman.

Pass. Hard pass.

Even though he wasn’t supposed to, he trailed after her when she went to school. She was in something called ‘high school’ now and had to change uniforms. He didn’t really like the blue uniform. It reminded him she was getting older. Things were changing…

In good and bad ways. Good ways were, she was becoming a fucking woman. Her scent was beyond intoxicating each passing month. Yea, she had her cycle when she was fifteen but… now his demon sensed the maturity of her body taking form more and more. It took everything and more not to pour out his undying love for the woman and rut her in the middle of a fucking forest. Like an animal. But who was he kidding? She didn’t like him like that… Yea, they cared for each other. Yea they had kissed… but she was just--trying to save him. Yea, they’d hugged but she hugged Sango and Shippo… at rare times Miroku. He may be engaged but he wasn’t married yet.

Another good change was they didn’t fight as much. Or as hard.

Bad ways… she was growing up. She wasn’t going to want to travel around forever. According to her, she wasn’t marrying age yet in this time, even though in his, she was ripe for the taking. But he knew she had suitors. Plural. All that could offer her way more than he could. He had what? An asshat brother who wished he was dead? A dark half-demon that hunted him and his kinda ex-fiance person? An ex who was dead, haunting the lands until her revenge was exacted? Possibly longer? The clothes on his back and sword at his hip...Yep. He had the whole package.

Meanwhile, Koga had a full wolf tribe, ruled the mountains… And… what was the fuckin’ kid's name? Hobo? Hoko? Hojo--that was it. Both the Hojo idiots from both times. They had perfect happy little lives. No drama. No demons. They could offer her anything and everything.

Gods… he was doomed. He loved her so much. Kikyo? Pft. Yea, he cared about Kikyo--like a friend you owed because you accidentally kinda-got-them-killed-kind-of thing. Guilt--that’s what Kagome called it. He felt guilty and felt he needed to make it alright.

Anyway, with the lack of action, she wanted to come back to her time, catch up, and shit. Blah blah blah… He knew she could sense him. Her powers had increased, another good change. But she didn’t sit him or come out and yell at him. In fact, she actually did manage to come up for lunch.

“Hey, I figured you’d be hungry,” she happily greeted him.

“You’re...not angry?”

“You’re staying out of sight, why would I be mad?”

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

“Of course not! Why would you ask that??” She asked as she sat down opening her lunch. She took a rice ball and placed her container between them.

“Well it’s not like you let anybody see me or anything,” he glared at the food. He actually wasn’t even mad at her or the food. In all honesty, he was angered by his heritage. He was surprised when he felt her cool hand reach up and grab his face to look into her beautiful caramel eyes.

“I don’t want anyone to take you from me… You know there aren’t demons in this time. I don't want to put you in danger because they would want you. They would capture you and... What would I do without you?”

His heart pounded so hard he wondered if she could hear it with her human ears. Her eyes darkened and her lips parted from that soft smile. Her breath hitched and she bit down on her silken lip and all he could think about was devouring it.

Then he heard the door open and he pulled away from her, throwing his hat back on. She blushed madly and turned to see her friends coming out onto the roof with their lunches. Fucking perfect.

“Oh, h-hey guys,” she stuttered.

“Heyyyyy, are we interrupting anything?” The one named Eri smirked.

“NO!” He yelled, likely way too loudly and fast. But she seemed so flustered by what almost happened and he didn’t want them to think she was the idiot who got carried away.

“H-how are you guys,?” She asked with her fake smile. Damn. He hurt her. Again. She got caught up in the moment, and he took advantage of it.

“Hojo’s coming up,” Yuka said with a gleam in her eye.

“Uhhhh…” Kagome started.

“I can go,” Inuyasha muttered.

“No!” She looked at him like a deer in headlights and gripped his hand. “I-I mean--nooooo, don’t go! I thought we were going to share my lunch?”

He was blushing and staring at their joined hands when the Hobo came out. The boy stalled for a moment drawing Inuyasha’s attention and when their eyes met, he could tell Hoho was sizing him up. Out of habit to protect Kagome from other’s opinions, he tried to draw his hand away from her, but her grip tightened. What was she doing?

“Hey Hojo,” she greeted.

“Hey Kagome, how are you today?”

“Great! Inuyasha was in the area and decided to join us for lunch.” Was she lying?? Why?? Why wouldn’t she just tell them he followed her? This boy couldn't hurt him.

“Inuyasha? Oh--you’re the guy from the festival last year,” Hojo said as he sat down on the other side of her.

“Yea, one and the same,” he confirmed gruffly. Staring at the boy in front of him, he was surprised when Kagome held out a riceball for him. He took it from her with the hand she wasn’t holding and muttered his thanks.

“Oh, are you sharing your lunch?” Ayumi cooed.

“Kagome, you probably need more nourishment than that--here, why don’t we share--”

“That’s okay Hojo. I appreciate the thought, but I’m honestly not that hungry. He’s doing me a favor helping me out,” she laughed fakely.

Did no one else see the mask Kagome put on aside from him? He knew that she loved Sango, that she confided in her about everything. Did these girls know anything about his Kagome?

The rest of the time it was just idle chit chat. Nothing for him to really follow as it was mainly about classes they were taking. He noticed Kagome’s hand didn’t leave his though even when she would reach and take food out of her little box, her grip never lessened. To be honest, he loved the feeling of his hand in hers. Even more so because she was doing it in front of her friends.

When lunchtime ended, her friends got up and led the way to the door. She lingered behind them and told them she’d catch up shortly. Hojo sent her a passing glance, obviously hesitant about leaving her alone with him, but complied when she bid him a good afternoon.

“I uhm… I’ll see you when school's out, okay?” Why was she acting all shy now? She was the only one who gripped his hand in hers.

“Uh...sure. That’s fine. I’ll just wait here then?”

“Mhm,” she smiled softly and with a final bite of her lip, she turned and went back inside.

The school literally couldn’t end soon enough. He needed to know what the fuck was actually going on with her.

The hours seemed like they took forever--of course, that’s how it always was when she wasn’t right by his side. Again, the biggest pussy on the planet when it came to her.

Maybe he accidentally dozed off from boredom. Watching the clouds wasn’t the same without the bossy spirited girl who actually appreciated the little things while he laid on his back beside her, merely just enjoying her presence, but he didn’t realize she was outside until he heard the dumbass Hobo call out her name. He rolled onto his side to peer off the roof to see what was going on.

She looked startled and began to look around--likely lookin’ for him. She’d be fuckin’ pissed if he just leaped down from there then. After all, she did just admit it wasn’t about embarrassment, it was about the danger of him being taken from her. Humans were odd creatures--always lookin’ to learn more and more about something. He knew what she said was true.

But that only meant that even if he were to follow her back to this time to be with her, if she really wanted to be with her family, they’d have no future here either. Not like she’d likely want a future with him. He needed to--he needed to keep his head on straight. Why let his hopes get raised for nothing?

“Kagome! How about I walk you home! You’re probably famished and could collapse from that vertigo your grandfather called about last week.”

“Hahahaha...of course he did,” she smiled while he smelled her annoyance and anger. Kagome had mentioned her grandpa making up some rather colorful excuses to get to miss school since she was always with him. While he told her she didn’t have to go, she pointed out that she did. At least for her family’s honor. That was the only reason he let her still travel back and forth… well actually it was the only reason she actually wanted to.

He noticed she looked around again and finally saw him on the roof and frowned slightly. Biting her lip and then turning to look back at Hojo she said loudly enough to where he heard her mention, “Inuyasha said he was going to meet me at the corner but you can join us.”

“Oh...I see. Kagome, can I ask you something?” They started to walk away and while he had demonic hearing, with all the other chatter and distance they were putting between them was making it difficult what the man-child was asking of his--no--not his--Kagome. Just--Kagome.

“Sure, what’s up Hojo?”

Inuyasha sneakily leaped onto the track of the school and then up and over the fence onto the house across from them. He proceeded to jump down so he wouldn’t be seen but could listen in on their conversation.

“What is up with that friend of yours? I would have figured with your health problems he would have encouraged you to eat--not the other way around.” Inuyasha wanted to growl at the thought that he would ever put his own health before hers.

“Oh, honestly I wasn’t that hungry. We often share lunches. I’m obviously not starving.”

“Does he--he visits you when you’re in the hospital? At the shrine when you’re not well??”

“Oh--uh--yeah! See? He’s very concerned.”

“Does he not have a job? Did he drop out of school?”

“No, no, nothing like that. He’s actually very intelligent. He does uh… exterminations?” He overheard her nervous laugh. That was the truth technically. Demons were what summoned them from village to village in hopes they would come across a jewel shard. But the money was shared. They were a pack. It wasn’t his alone--even if it was, no one would feed, clothe, or house a half-demon.

“Oh he must be very fortunate then… do you think the chemicals are the source of what are making you ill though?”

“Of course not! Being with Inuyasha is--” He heard her cut off and at that point, he was standing at the fork in the road when she had mentioned he would meet them. “It’s uh…”

“Do you really like him, Kagome?”

“Yes… I just--I don’t know if he feels the same,” he heard her whisper, likely hoping he wouldn’t hear. But he did. And his head was spinning. She ‘liked’ him? Well duh, they’d been traveling together for over a year together. He hoped she would at least kinda enjoy his company. But did she mean--is that why--

“Oh! Inuyasha!”

Fuck he was made! He brought his head up and saw them walking towards him.

“Hey,” he replied back gruffly. It wasn’t his intention for it to have been so mean… but he was officially frustrated and confused.

“Everything ok?” Kagome asked sweetly as she blushed while she stood before him. Damnit.

“Yea. Fine. Let’s go,” he replied as he turned away. She groaned slightly--the one she used when she got bad news. He turned back to look at her and she looked highly disappointed… She acted like she didn’t want him to hear her little confession. Obviously she was embarrassed by liking him so why should she be upset if he acted like he didn’t hear her?

“Say, Kagome. What are you doing this Saturday?”

Would she be pissed off if he broke this kid's nose? Didn’t he just hear she liked him??

“Uhm…” She started. Oh, fuck no.

“She’s gonna be with me, twerp,” he stated firmly as he swung around and wrapped his arm around Kagome’s shoulders. She seemed to tense under the initial contact but then relaxed. Her breathing was a little erratic like she was nervous but excited… What a weirdo.

“Oh I see, did you decide this for her?” Hojo questioned.

“Pretty sure it’s a mutual agreement at this point, kid.”

“Kagome?”

“Yes, I’m sorry Hojo. Inuyasha and I have plans.”

“Kagome--why--”

“Why what?” Inuyasha snapped.

“Why be with someone who doesn’t tell you how they feel? Make you feel appreciated? Kagome--I’m in love with you. Please--let me prove that to you. Let me show you how a man should treat a lady.”

It took all he had to not punch the little dick in the throat. How dare he say those things to Kagome!

“Look here you little--”

“Hojo--I like spending time with Inuyasha,” Kagome countered.

“But Kagome--”

“Just because Inuyasha doesn’t like me in the same way doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, Hojo. If I want to stay with him then it’s really not--”

“You actually like me?” Inuyasha finally asked.

Kagome turned and looked at him from under his arm. She looked confused and she stepped out to be in front of him. She looked embarrassed and uncomfortable but she never hesitated in her response, “Inuyasha--of course I like you. I love you. I thought… it was obvious.”

“Kagome, I--” He realized they still had an audience and glared with a growl in the little fuck’s direction. “Do you mind?!”

“Kagome?”

DID THE FUCKING BRAT NOT HAVE GODDAMN EARS?!?!

“It’s okay Hojo. We need to talk. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

“Okay. Take care, Kagome,” he waved as he headed off in the other direction.

Now they were standing there. In the middle of the road. Irony.

“Kagome I--”

“It’s really alright if you don’t feel the same. I just want to be by your side. As--as long as you’ll have me.”

“Why though?”

“Why--why what?”

“Why do you like me? I’m kind of an asshole. I always say the wrong thing, I always hurt you… I can’t offer you anything.”

Her soft cool hand on his cheek made him look her in the eyes. He could forever get lost in the chestnut eyes. Honestly, he almost did; he didn’t even notice she had started speaking.

“It’s not about what you have to offer me. Things--possessions-- they aren’t important to me. You are. Yeah, you’re rough around the edges but you only do that to protect yourself. I don’t try to take what you say personally, I know you don’t mean it. I just--I want you to know you don’t have to be afraid of me hurting you; I’d never harm you. I love you for who you are. My gruff half-demon protector.”

“Kagome…words--aren’t really my thing. But you kinda knew that, so--” He cut himself off and pulled her close to press his mouth against hers, praying to any fuckin’ God she didn’t sit him for acting without thinking. Though to be honest, he’d be lying if he said he had never thought about it. In fact, sometimes that was all he thought about. Along with some heated moaning and intimate places linked… Oh shit, his dick was already getting excited at the thought.

Her hum of approval and fingers lacing through his hair, softly shifting his ball cap off his head brought him from his imagination.

“Not here,” he barely grunted before scooping her up into his arms bridal style, leaping from the road to the roof of house after house until they arrived at her shrine. She urged him to take her up to her window where she crawled through before he entered after.

Once his feet were on the ground, he found himself engulfed in her embrace and her lips frantically moving against his. She flipped his hat off and whoaaaa--her hands were untying his haori. He stilled them and she whined but they needed to talk about this. Not just rush into whatever--well--that was wrong. He knew Kagome would never play with his heart. She had just declared she’d never hurt him; that her love wasn’t based on what he had or could give, it was based on who they were. But that was exactly why they needed to talk.

“Hey--we don’t need to rush this--”

“Inuyasha I don’t want to wait until you’ve changed your mind about everything--” She proceeded to keep kissing him, his mind becoming this weird useless blob because damn if she didn’t taste fantastic. All his fantasies were coming true in just the movement of her lips.

“Fuck--Kagome--”

She hummed her approval over his vulgar words; weird as she usually was the one always conveying ‘manners’ but obviously she liked that she could make him helpless.

“Damn, you shoulda confessed your feelings earlier, wench,” he smirked when he pulled away to trail kisses and drew teasing circles of his tongue against her throat. Her moan lit his cock on fire. Shit.

“Bite me, dog boy,” her husky voice sounded as he hovered over her shoulder. Pause. Did she just tell him to mark her? What did she know about demons and mating?? Or was she just teasing. This whole situation had gotten away from him. He began to pull back and her breath hitched. She was panicking.

“I’m not gonna go changin’ my mind but this is kinda--you don’t just--shit--sit down,” he ordered as he pulled her down to sit on the edge with him. Wrapping his arms around her to reassure her of his unvoiced feelings, he felt her snuggle into his hold. “Kagome… what you said kinda made me realize we--well--we need to try and talk.”

“What do you mean?” She seemed confused by his words. It dawned on him she had no idea she had asked him to mate with her. Not that he could blame her--demons didn’t just go around boasting… Scratch that. Normal demons that aren’t fleabags don’t blurt out mating rituals.

“What do you know of mating with demons?”

“Uh--I--” She turned as red as his haori and buried her face into said top and muttered her response, making his ears twitch to try and catch the muffled words she spoke. Oh, so she had just said ‘bite me’ as a retort… and totally missed the full meaning.

“Did the wolf-shit tell you all that? Because I may have to go skin him--”

“No! No! Sango had uh… mentioned it,” she admitted, biting her lip.

“Keh, ‘course that busybody did.”

“D-don’t be mad! I had asked her in all honesty…”

“Why didn’t you just ask me?” The look she gave him made him realize exactly why not. Disbelief. He was a callous asshole. Probably would have taken the wrong way… Whoops. “Nevermind. I got it. Are you sure this is something you truly want? What happens if once we complete the jewel the well closes? What if the old woman can’t get the village to accept us and we end up living in the forest? What if--”

“We can’t play a what-if game forever Inuyasha. We won’t know until we cross that bridge, but I told you the truth when I said none of that stuff matters… I don't belong here. This is just where I come to keep my family’s honor. My home is with you,” she said as she stroked her hands through his silky silver tresses. “Besides, I bet even if the village turned us away, Miroku and Sango would find a place for us to settle down--maybe her old slayer village.”

“Oh fuck, we’re stuck with them, aren’t we?”

“Inuyasha,” she warned him. He smirked down at her showing he was only teasing. They were friends. His family. Something he never thought he would ever have.

“We can wait to complete the mating ritual--it doesn’t have to be right now,” he said idly as he traced where he would mark her on her shoulder over her blazer.

“Are--Are you the one who is unsure?” She asked hesitantly as she shuddered from the light graze of his claws.

“No. This is the only thing I have ever been completely sure about my entire life.”

“But what about--I mean--”

“You can say her name.”

She averted her eyes and he pulled her chin back so she had to look him in the eyes. “I was going to become human for her. Mating is a thing for demons. Humans wither and die while demons live for centuries. I wanted someone to accept me--even if that meant I had to change. You’ve never asked that of me--fuck, you’ve begged me to stay the way I am. Kagome… I-- damnit, why is this so fucking hard!”

“You’re doing okay,” she whispered as her hands slid from his chest to his cheeks. “I love you, Inuyasha. I would be honored to be your mate.”

“I love you, Kagome,” he finally said as he slammed his hungry lips down onto hers. Her hands stayed on his cheeks as he moved from her chin to her hips to bring her closer even though she was perched on top of his lap.

She surprised him when she turned herself around to straddle his legs and pushed his chest down making him fall backward. How a tiny girl like her could ever startle him enough to knock him over was beyond comprehension. Her hands started to undo his haori and he made to undo the buttons on her blazer. It was sloppy, them removing each other’s clothing between their heated kisses, trembling excited fingers, and the awkward but hot as fuck grinding of their sex.

Her core was so fucking wet; he honestly couldn’t wait to taste her. He wondered if she tasted just as he imagined. Her fucking mouth tasted like cherries and honey--his fucking cock felt like it was going to fall off; he was so aroused. Between the bucking of her hips, the wetness of her panties, and the simple but teasing sweeps of her hand as she explored his body, he wasn’t going to last long.

Losing his patience, he sliced through her bra and underwear and flipped her over so that her legs draped off the bed as he towered over her. Smirking down at her, he took control again as he began to devour her. All of her. Her lips, her neck, her clavicle, her breasts--he lingered there the longest, making sure the perky mounds were red, bruised, and thoroughly marked as his as he proceeded to lave and caress her toned stomach just before he found himself kneeling on the floor between her perfect shapely muscular thighs.

He didn’t even hesitate as he went straight to the weeping opening that was begging for his hardened length. It was a siren calling out to ship and he had to steer straight ahead and plunge into the abyss. And plunge he did--with tongue. A loud cry of his name was his answer in return. He brought one hand down to steady her hips as he continued to memorize her scent, her taste, and the sounds he could make her produce with abandon.

Noticing there was a significant nub that she seemed to like to have teased the most, he moved his thumb to press and circle it as he used his tongue to continue to drink up her juices. It was clear with all her shaking and quivering that she was close to her orgasm. Her hands were frantically pressing his head into her folds, and her voice was fucking wrecked. She sounded like she had just run five kilometers nonstop and she was begging for water. And he ultimately would be the one to help her out with her thirst. With one last flick of his tongue, he switched his hand with his mouth and inserted one, then two, then three fingers slowly stretching her as he pumped in and out of her. His mouth found purchase on her nub and he sucked hard as his other hand softly stroked his own dick as he was fairly positive if he didn’t, it would burn off in the flames of arousal this woman was feeding him.

Thankfully her walls began to vibrate as she came undone around him and cried out his name in ecstasy. When she stopped twitching, he finally slunk back up her body and smirked down at the completely dazed look on her face. He couldn’t help but feel his confidence growing that if he could at least take care of her like that, happily sated every night, a home with Sango and Miroku, then he could give her the life she deserved. Not fully, but one she seemed to want.

Her hands reaching for his cock brought him from his wandering musings and damn--he’d never be able to go back to his own hand. Why was she so good at that?!? Fuck, shit, damnit, fuckkkk-- he grabbed her hand to still her motions and she gasped.

“Is--am I not--”

“N-nah, y-you are. Fuck, I almost just came all over you.”

“What if… I’d like that?”

His eyes widened and his ears perked up. What did she say? Anything he had to say went out the window when she shoved him against her headboard and engulfed his hardened length with her hot wet mouth. Some weird strangled sound came out his mouth as his hands went to her head without thinking. Fuck. Shit. He loosened his grip once he had some semblance of control and mainly kept his hands there to keep hair out of her way. Her tongue was swirling around him and he felt her spit literally drip down to where her hand was stroking him where her mouth couldn’t reach more than making up for the lapse of coverage. The other sneaky hand was fondling his sac and he literally swore right then it wouldn’t be the jewel, nor Naraku, Koga, his brother, or even Kikyo who would kill him--it was going to be Kagome. Because holy fuck he was about to fucking die. The ache in his stomach from not being touched was far gone and replaced with a burning passion; the tightening coil had grown taunt and he could barely tap her to gain her attention before it sprang loose.

Panting, breathless, and grunting he managed a ‘“Comin’’, or some word like that. Either way, she hummed and that was what threw him off the edge. He could hardly not grab her head to keep her there, but he hadn’t needed to; she drank him up like he was producing actual milk and not seed for pups.

She pulled away from him and licked her lips, whether it was meant to be seductive or innocent didn’t really phase him as he grabbed her head and pulled her into a hard bruising kiss. Not only was he tasting her in his mouth from when he had given her pleasure but now he was tasting himself on her cherry red lips. Goddamn. He was the luckiest hanyou ever born. And he was already aggravatingly hard again.

“Mmmmm, Inuyasha,” she begged.

“What Kagome?”

“Bite me,” she pleaded. He lifted her to straddle him once more as he knelt on her bed and brought her face to meet his. Gazing deeply into her brown sparkling earthy eyes for any form of doubt, he exhaled and groaned as he lowered her onto his cock. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her breath hitched uneasily. Fuck. She was tight. Hot. Wet. He wasn’t even completely sheathed by her wet hot core and he felt her walls already stirring back to life as she moaned in his ears.

Once she was finally held on his lap by her hips, he was completely engulfed by her, it was an odd sense of fulfillment. Like everything in his life had led to that exact moment. Everything just suddenly fell into place. Every horrible unspeakable attack on his life, every mistake he ever made, any step he took, it all led to her--his Kagome.

“You okay?” He managed to grind out around his gritted teeth. He was barely holding on for dear life; all he wanted to do was pound into her, but she deserved more--she deserved better.

“Perfect,” she sighed, groaning as she twisted her hips and good fucking Gods--she was fucking perfect.

She started to rise up on her calves to pull away from him and then slammed herself back down on him making them both whimper, groan, moan, growl as the fucking pure bliss of pleasure as she continued her actions with his help. He could never use his hand again. Ever. She had effectively ruined that for him. He would no longer be able to fantasize about her--it would always have to be her. Riding his cock. Like the fucking expert she was proving herself to be.

“Inu--Ya--Shaaaaaa,” she cried out as she tried to still her movement as she released all over his deeply embedded cock. Holy shit. If her coming apart in his arms was not the most erotic sight he had ever seen. It was the way her head was thrown back; her eyes were squeezed shut;her hair, damp from her sweat-glistened body, swaying behind her; her tight grip on his shoulder; her chest heaving, making her breasts bounce, and how her pussy effectively hid his dick.

“Ka--Kagome--” he stuttered, leaning his head down to her shoulder, pulling her back to him so their bodies were as close as possible as he continued thrusting into her. His tongue acted of its own accord as it brushed her shoulder all the way to the back of her ear as he huskily groaned making her return her own whimper. Her hands snuck their way from his shoulders to his ears--and if it didn’t feel fucking amazing. He moved his mouth back over her shoulder and kissed it lovingly before nuzzling it. “Ready?”

“Yes,” she cried.

His release snuck up on him from the beautiful sound of her pleasured filled voice. As he came, emptying himself into her womb, he bit down into her shoulder, marking her as his, filling her with his youki. He felt her reiki flow around him in return, caressing him, sheltering him with her love. And damn, if he didn’t feel like he was home.

The rest of the evening, they spent kissing and exchanging loving touches. Talking about their future, talking about their dreams. Inuyasha could swear he had never felt so relieved and happy in his entire miserable life. But then again, he didn’t have Kagome until the year before. He had never known what love and happiness ever was before her. And his life would never be miserable again, not with this amazing woman by his side.

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