#thanks for reading everyone

[anundesirablechild]

hi besties

I HAVE AN ETSY NOW‼️‼️ i crochet (and have been doing so since 2018) and have built up enough of a backlog that i’m trying to sell stuff off… i don’t have a job rn and am having a hard time after a big move so i would really appreciate the support. everything is handmade by me and ooak!!

the hardest part is going to be making the first few sales, so if anyone likes me or my posts i would really appreciate y’all going out on a limb and giving my shop a shot :) i’ll put the link here and then some example pics of what i have up (and some that hasn’t gone up yet😉) under the cut

SHOP IS HERE:

[drmthieves]

they should make a succession spin-off called. Failure.

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[noodles-and-tea]

Last part whoo!!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

[sonykatzen]

pretty boy

[twinky-linky]

(y/n) (l/n) (Smith)

Hey I'm (y/n) (l/n). Don't call me (a name you don't like to be called) or you will get hurt. I am the Kai Smith Best friend.Leave the freakin room to fangirl.Instead of my last name being (l/n) i mentally changed it to Smith because Kai is like a brother to me.Im (your age) years old. I was born (your birthday). I have a brother Liam he is 14 and born November 25th and a sister Olivia who is 10 born February 25th and my 5 year old brother Noah born December 25th.My so called father is making my mom put me and Noah, my brother and sister up for auction. But we go with separate people. I have (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. Im abused and bullied. Im in grade (your grade). Im not a smart person nor a prissy stuck up snob. I get C's to A's. The people who bully me are Emma and Amelia. I have a crush on Lloyd Garmadon. Yes the Ninja go to my school but i try my best to avoid them (Except for Kai)because when i talk to them i always stutter. My best friends are Ava and Oliver. And im dating Mason Jones. Any ways thats all you should know for now. Bye.

Stuttering~1

My alarm wakes my from the most worse nightmare ever. I did my morning routine. And got dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. I looked around for my dad no where to be found. So i took Olivia and Noah to Grade school and me and Liam to school (We go to the same high school). When we got to school as usual all the girls were crowing around the Ninja. And a Emma and Amelia were bullying me surprisingly they would rather bully me than go make out with the boys. I walked to my gym class with Mr.William. "Hello class today we are going to train to be ninja and spare in front of the class today"Mr.William says. I heard Emma and Amelia say "Hey (y/n) why don't you spare first". "Good idea Emma and Amelia"Mr.William said. "Not a good idea" i say. Emma and Amelia shoved me up there and i spared. I walked back to my seat and Mr.William mouthed 'I loved your sparing. It touched me and you don't need to spare tomorrow.' That is why Mr.Johnson is my second favorite. The bell rang and Mason came up to me and kissed me and said"Nice sparing babe"."Thanks"i say.I walked in the cafeteria hand in hand with Mason.Mason went and sa down at out table the lunch lady was trying to get the rice of the spoon and on to my plate but the rice went all over me. Everyone laughed. I ran to the wadshroom and tried to wash it off. I changed into my extra pair of clothes. I walked out of the washroom and i saw Emma and Amellia taking pictures of 'Rice Person'. I rand to the principals office and told Ms.Wilson that i was going to be getting picked up early. Why because my stupid father is putting us up for auction. About 1 hour later i was called down to the office and also the ninja. We drove down to the auction center. FIrst my dad sat me and my brother/son up on the stool. And every BOY started bidding.

SOLD~2

I was sitting up on stage and on the stool playing flappy ninja on my phone. When suddenly i hear SOLD. I look up and see 5 certain boys and 1 certain girl. "Before I go with you guys can i say goodbye to my brother and sister"I ask them. "Sure but be quick"Cole replied. I ran up to my brother and sister, "Hey guys. I just wanted to say that you guys can call me whenever you want here is my number"I say writing my number on both of their arms. "Remember we will always be brother and sisters."I say crying my eyes out. "Hey we should meet up in the park tomorrow and Noon"Noah suggested. "Meet you guys there. I love you"I say hugging them. Then going back to the ninja. When we arrived at their monastery Jay leads me to my room. "Jay"."Yes"He answers."Why did you guys pick me. Like when i was up for auction" I ask. "Listen we picked you because we know you are nice and Kai is your best friend and well we all think your pretty"I swear i was an unhealthy shade of red. "Thanks"Just then my phone rang then i rang again indicating i had 2 people calling me so i set them all on the same conversation.

~Phone Convo~

Me:Hello

Mystery people:Hey sissy

Me: Hey Noah and Olivia how are you guys

Olivia: (y/n) you know im not a guy

Noah: Olivia she is calling guys because instead of saying boy and girl its slang for than

Olivia: Ohhh

Me: So are we still on for the park at noon

Noah and: Why wouldn't we be

Me: Idk so are your new parents good parents.

Olivia: Yes and guess WHO i'm living with

Noah and Me: Who

Olivia: Oliver

Noah:And im with Ava

Me:And im with the ninja

Noah:I don't believe you

Me:Well believe it i wil let you both talk you Jay

~Jay POV~

(y/n) handed the phone to me indicating that she wanted me to talk to some one.

Jay:Hello

Olivia:Is it really you Jay

Jay:Yes

Noah:For once y/n wasn't lying.

Olivia:Jay is it true that you bought her.

Jay:Yes well technically Wu did.

Noah:Well i have to go tell y/n that I will see her at Noon tomorrow.

Jay:Will do.

Olivia :So i just wanted to tell you to treat my sibling like gold. They are very FRAGILE

Jay:I will take cate of her and treat her like gold. And i wanted to meet you to can i go with you guys tomorrow

Olivia:Sure well i have to go see you tomorrow Jay. Bye

~End of Phone Convo~

Hugs and Kissed & Taking Advantage ~3

I woke up at 11:00am. I quickly sprang out of bed and got a shower and dressed. I check the time 11:45am. I ran downstairs and Jay was waiting for me. "Hop in the car"Jay demanded. I did as i was told and went in the car. Jay drove me down to the park and i saw Noah and Olivia standing by the fountain. I quickly hoped out and sprinted over to them and swooped them both up in a big bear hug. "HELP"The both screamde. I chuckled once they heard me the stopped screaming and hugged my sides. "I missed you guys"I say with tears streaming down my face. "We missed you too"Olivia said full on crying. "Hey your the guy that i said to treat her right."Olivia asked Jay. "Yes i am and you must be Little y/n's little sister and brother"pointing to Olivia and then Noah."Yes im Noah and this is Olivia"Noah said. Noah's and Olivia's phone rang at the same time and Olivia's was a text and Noah's was a call.

"Hello...Okau...Im sorry...Okay bye". "Guys i need to go home"Noah and Olivia sighed. "Noah and Olivia mind giving big old sissy Hugs and Kisses before you leave and mind saying hello to Oliver and Ava for me"I ask. FIrst they give me the hugs and kisses. THen they promised they would say hello. Me and Jay drovehome. "Hey guys want to go to a party at 7"Lloyd asked. "Sure" I said.

~le 6 hour time skip~

I was changed into a short sparkly outfit and my hair was up and I didn't need any make up. We finally arrived at the part and my other best friend Gayle Gossip and Dareth were talking. THen i see Dareth run out to the curb and start crying. "guys ill mee you in there"I say and all 6 of them walk off. I ran over to Dareth and soothed her. "Dareth hun whats wrong". "This guy 'Vinny' is Gayle's best friend. So Gayle posted on facebook 'Hey Vinny you look hot tonight. If I wasn't with Dareth i would totally date you' So at the party Gayle ran up to me and she said really coldly'Dareth we need to break up now. You are ugly,stuck up,clingy and REALLY UGLY' and thats why im here" I hugged her really tight. "Aren't you staying with Gayle for her tour."I ask. She sniffles and says yes. "Dareth pack your stuff and move in with me and the ninja.”I say. “Really”She asks. “Yes we will get your stuff in the morning”I say” Since it was pouring and i brang a back up dress i gave it to Dareth. 

We walked inside our arms linked. I found the ninja and asked about Dareth staying with us. “Okay he can live with us as long as he wants”Kai says. Dareth went and had one shot and talked with sober Cole. I walked over and drunk Lloyd asked me to dance with him.

His hand were near my but, my hands were around his neck and my head was in the crook of his neck. I kissed him on the cheek. Me and Dareth were dancing in the middle of the floor until we were called up to sing Karaoke. 

Everyone was clapping and we bowed. It was 5 in the morning when we had to leave. I had a little too much to drink and the only sober one was Cole. When i got home i went straight to bed. “WAKE UP”I heard Dareth yell in my ear. “Ouch”I say. My head is aching. “I know i have a hangover too” Dareth said rubbing his temples. I looked at the clock it read 2pm. I got 9 rand down stairs and took my 3 tablets of advil. I felt like going on twitter. I saw photos i didn’t want to see.

I cried my eyes out. Then Lloyd walked through the door. “Have fun with Harumilast night”i say still crying.”What”he says running over to my laptop. “I WAS DRUNK.”He yells. “Lloyd listen. Harumi is taking advantage of you.”I say. I take my laptop and my phone and and run to my room crying in my pillow. Suddenly Harumi appears from my door.”Who let you in here”,”I did. Now listen. Me and Lloyd are in a happy relationship. And im telling you to BACK OFF” She says and with that she walks out of the room.”I HATE MYSELF”i yell. I ran around my room with my eyes closed and then i bumped into my wall. And i passed out.

~Lloyd’s POV~

“Lloyd listen. She is taking advantage of you.” y/n says. And then they take their phone and laptop and runs to their room. A few minutes later i hear “SO BACK OFF”Then a door slam. I decided to make lunch for everyone. Then i heard ‘I HATE MYSELF’loud thump I saw Kai on the couch and i told him i heard a thump from upstairs. We walked upstairs with a baseball bat. We opened y/n’s door and saw y/n on the group passed out. “CHECK FOR A PULSE.” I yelled at Kai. He looks at me and shakes his head. I quickly call for the authorities.

~Phone Conversation~

Operator:Hello you’ve reached the Ninjago City Hospital how may i help you.

Me:Hello. My friend kinda ran into a wall and passed  out. We checked for a pulse and their is done.

Operator:Okay the ambulance’s will be there in 5 minutes.

~End of Phone Conversation~

eternally thinking of the idea that in the ninjago universe there really could be "getting sold to the ninja" fanfics...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Who is this sassy lost child?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tsukinoshinjiu]

May I request alttp Zelink? If you don’t want to, just ignore this ask

He just saw the most beautiful girl and his brain stopped working (HE'S JUST LIKE ME FRR 😭) some extras below 👇👇👇

i liked the sketch better lowkey but the render came out nice too, just struggled a lot

[ministarfruit]

day 3: your life is mine ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[saragrosie]

Some really stupid season 3-4ish mag sketches plus obligatory crumpling Jon up into a ball (And also s1 Jon is there writing his gay little statements whatever).

I say s3-4 cuz Helen ya know here's another Helen under the cut my beloved they could never make me hate you. You are the not a who but the moment the icon the legend:

I'm sharing some more dumbass things I've drawn in another post cuz there are early season 5 references (I'm on MAG 169) so check that out if you're caught up to there if not begone no spoilers for you ok byeeeee

[xxplastic-cubexx]

your krakoa era cherik art has altered my brain chemistry

more krakoa era is to come from me my friend so i worry for your brain

[tzarrz]

i listen to fog lake too much

[the-crooked-library]

Nuance, Narratives, and Nosferatu

As of today, Robert Eggers' Nosferatu (2024) has only been in theatres for 4 full days; and, coincidentally, that is about as long as I am able to let my thoughts marinate before they demand to be communicated. Before going into any further detail, let it be known that this film was made by freaks for freaks; it exists for the goths, the gays, the monsterfuckers, the historians, and for all those who delight in moral and thematic complexity.

With that being said - spoilers under the cut!

There are two principal narratives running through the flesh of Nosferatu, both of them rooted heavily in the cultural and literary origins of the story. It is a nightmare; it is also an erotic fantasy. It is horrifying, and it is also achingly romantic. From what I've seen so far, the vast majority of discourse that has already emerged around the film is caused by people misunderstanding or deliberately ignoring the relationship between these different lines of analysis; so please trust me when I say, from the bottom of my heart, that this duality is the very lifeblood of the movie.

The reason for that is, quite simply, that Nosferatu is a gothic horror film, set in 1830s German Confederation; and its plot relies on the same (sometimes contradictory) complexities often displayed in Victorian gothic fiction.

From the beginning of the movie, we are given to understand that Ellen Hutter met Count Orlok - the eponymous nosferatu - psychically, when she was very young. They spoke, she pledged herself to him, and was horrified to realize what she had done when he revealed his true visage to her in their first visual (and sexual) encounter.

Here, under the lilacs, the paths diverge.

The first reading of the film is perhaps the more straightforward. A young girl is essentially catfished and groomed by a much older, dangerous man. When they meet for the first time, she is a teenager; the lilacs that bloom where it happens become a trigger. He is the source of her madness and "melancholy" (depression), she has nightmares about him regularly enough that her husband is aware of them, and it is implied that she has been institutionalized in the past. Thomas Hutter is the physical representation of her one desperate hope for a normal life - but as the story progresses, she finds herself being denied even that. Orlok's psychic connection with her verges on demonic possession; in chilling, The Exorcist-inspired sequences, she writhes and mutters, prophesying a city-wide reign of death and terror. In pursuit of his claim on Ellen, Orlok terrorizes her husband, murders her friends - and, eventually, she gives her life to take him with her to the grave, saving the city from the plague he caused.

That is the horror element of Nosferatu; it deals with an exploration of childhood trauma, of PTSD, of difficulties maintaining a social life after the fact. It is easy to understand even from a modern viewpoint, and it pushes the film to its conclusion with a bleak, heart-wrenching punch.

The horror is not the only element of Nosferatu.

To contextualize the alternate - though just as correct - reading of the film, it is essential to understand that Ellen’s society was extremely sexually repressed, especially in regards to female and queer sexuality.

Both were severely medicalized, demonized, and restricted; and as such, when these topics do make an appearance in contemporary fiction, they are often inextricable from disgust and fear.

Dedicated as always to historical accuracy, Eggers maintains the same setting-based narrative coding.

In anticipation of morality arguments vis à vis monstrosity, depiction, and modern purity culture, let me clarify: this is something that works within his chosen genre. Horror, and especially gothic horror, invites a deeper analysis in regard to morality and motivation, and in this case, Eggers' homage to the origins of that genre grounds the narrative in its time and location, as well as fleshing it out much further than a purely modern cultural lens would permit. In this context, the details of Ellen's connection with Orlok become paramount to the understanding of the film.

As bits and pieces of their background become revealed, the audience realizes that her psychic gift did not begin with him - and neither did her melancholy, or her isolation. She was born with her abilities, and throughout her childhood, she was a bit of a tomboy by her contemporary standards, running wild in the woods near her father's property; however, once she foretold her mother's death, and once she was too old to get away with eccentricities, her father became frightened of her abnormality. She was isolated, confined indoors, and that is when her melancholy had begun. Painfully lonely and aching for some form of companionship, she called out into the ether; and Orlok responded.

Over the course of their story, he becomes the physical manifestation of everything Ellen perceives as dark and sinful about herself.

He is psychic, he is vicious, possessive, and blatantly sexual; her sensual affection with Anna parallels the evident and physical attraction he displays towards Thomas; and the social power he so easily commands is the same that she lacks, being a woman in a rigidly patriarchal society.

In the end, the severely questionable age gap, the murders, the coercion, the betrayal - all of that comes down to respect. Throughout the film, that is the one thing that Ellen is consistently denied. She is young when she meets Orlok, yes; but she is aggressively infantilized by her surrounding society even when she is a grown, adult, married woman.

It starts from the beginning of the film, when the Hutters visit the Harding family. During those scenes, the men are shown talking business - while the women play with children in the parlour; and the same social framing persists into the body of the film. When Ellen is suffering from what appears to be some form of mental illness, she is referred to as a child by multiple different characters; and when the condition progresses, she is swiftly diagnosed with hysteria and drugged - thus being forcibly removed from the discussion of her own illness. The general reactions to that illness - which is, in fact, a display of her psychic abilities - range from annoyance to fear to curiosity; it is seen either as a disability or a curse, rather than anything entirely innate to who she is. Her fears are dismissed. Harding tells her to learn some deference. Even closer to the finale, when Von Franz admits that she could have been a great priestess in another age, he does so with pity rather than anything else; in their industrial era, he cannot help but see her only as a tragic sacrifice - horrible, but necessary to save the city from a plague. Brought in to heal her, he instead guides her to her death.

All these aspects of Ellen's circumstances find a direct opposite in her relationship with Orlok. Unlike all other characters in the film, he only ever sees her as his equal, which is made even more evident when his interactions with Thomas and Herr Knock are brought into consideration. With both men, Orlok insists on being addressed by his lordly title, "as his blood demands it"; and yet, Ellen never calls him by any title at all, be it "My Lord" or even a simple "Herr." She argues with him freely, and there is a familiarity between them that he is demonstrated to never tolerate from anyone else. Similarly, while he disguises the covenant he makes with Thomas, the terms of his covenant with Ellen are laid out clearly, in full. He does not hide from her; she already knows the worst of him, the same way he knows that she is intelligent, that she is powerful, and that she is not meant to be demure and deferring. Again and again, Orlok insists that Ellen is not meant for humanity - and the true horror, the horror she cannot bring herself to face, is that he is right.

In a sense, he is a mirror held up in front of her own face. Ellen is painfully aware that she does not fit in, and that she never has. The "normal" society, epitomized by the Hardings (wealthy husband, pretty blonde wife, 2.5 kids), has no place for her - and actively dislikes her.

The film makes this ostracism impossible for the viewer to ignore. As the story progresses, it becomes evident that the other human characters - even those that do sincerely care for Ellen - never truly know her. Anna loves her, but wishes she would not talk of dreadful things - and lashes out as a result of that discomfort, scolding her. Sievers finds himself bewildered by her; Knock sees her as an object to trade; Von Franz pities her, Harding hates her, and Thomas cannot truly satisfy her, even after being touched by the supernatural himself.

Seeing a flash of a monstrous face while they are together, he flings her away. To him, his experience with Orlok is merely traumatic, and he wishes for nothing more than to leave it behind. However, to her, it is something she cannot help but crave; and she continues to wear her lilac perfume.*

All that to say - Count Orlok is, simultaneously, everything Ellen wants and everything she is terrified of being.

That specific dichotomy reaches its climax during their mutual finale. As it is to be expected from a vampire wedding night, they rejoin in a sequence of sex, blood, and renewed vows - and what is particularly notable is that (unlike Murnau) Eggers makes it clear that this Orlok never intended to kill his Ellen, despite his inability to resist her blood. Though he drinks from her through the night, he stops at cock-crow; and she guides his head back down herself, distracting him long enough for the sun to rise. It is a duet of accident and intention. He drains her; and she holds him as the sun drains him. They cling together as they end - on a bed that serves their wedding and their death.

It is romantic. it is unquestionably romantic. However, that does not mean that the horror isn't also present; Ellen's consent, under these circumstances, is highly debatable, and Orlok is cruel, amoral, and murderously possessive. At the same time, the characters are also acting out folkloric archetypes, with precious little adjustment to that framework - which further removes them from a modern understanding of morality. He is Death, a Koschei the Deathless, a monster; she is the Maiden, a Vasilisa, a damsel. I hesitate to liken them to the Beauty and the Beast, largely because in the original premise of that story, the Beauty falls in love with the kindness that the Beast consistently displays; and it is essential to stress that Orlok has none. He does care for Ellen, in his own way, but he admits to being incapable of love as she defines it in human terms;** and, curiously, that seems to be her primary concern when it comes to the idea of accepting his proposal - rather than all the blood and carnage.

What I'm trying to say, I suppose, is that there are multiple ways of following a story, and multiple different stories in a film as nuanced as Nosferatu. Yes, it is about grooming and trauma. Yes, it is about finding love outside of the cage that is "polite society." I'm sure that it is many other things besides, with as many meanings as there are people in the theatres; after all, I am only one person, and the film grossed something over $40M in its first three days. The point is, really, that this is a story in which a rotting vampire is woken from centuries of deathlike slumber by a lonely voice asking him to be her friend; and whatever these two strange and aching souls do with that can go down any myriad of paths. The film trusts the viewer to interpret the narrative they choose.

* LILAC PERFUME - in fact, it is such a consistent favourite of Ellen's that Orlok smells it on her hair in the locket she sends with Thomas to the castle. Thomas never really learns the reason she likes that scent - even though he knows that preference well enough that he gifts her lilacs in the beginning of the film.

** ORLOK'S OBSESSION - this is a side note, but: the vampire wedding sequence reminds me strongly of the third season of NBC's Hannibal. I suppose that was to be expected, considering that Hannibal is also a Dracula offshoot, much like Orlok himself. When Ellen snaps at Orlok that he cannot love, he responds that "no; but only with you, I can be truly sated." Similarly - "Is Hannibal in love with me?" asks Will; and Bedelia responds - "Could he feel a daily stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you?" I'd say if you liked that series, you should try and see the film. It works with a familiar blend of aesthetic horror.

[teenagenutant]

hi! i finally updated my fic pressure bomb so. doodles +lil' comic for chapter 3 & 4 ^^

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)