#so i’m hoping that ppl will feel safe going out on a limb

[anundesirablechild]

hi besties

I HAVE AN ETSY NOW‼️‼️ i crochet (and have been doing so since 2018) and have built up enough of a backlog that i’m trying to sell stuff off… i don’t have a job rn and am having a hard time after a big move so i would really appreciate the support. everything is handmade by me and ooak!!

the hardest part is going to be making the first few sales, so if anyone likes me or my posts i would really appreciate y’all going out on a limb and giving my shop a shot :) i’ll put the link here and then some example pics of what i have up (and some that hasn’t gone up yet😉) under the cut

SHOP IS HERE:

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Question about something (no tw) you can call me cookie.

I’m only asking because I was told by a couple people that I’m childish, embarrassing, manipulative and stupid so I wanted to get your opinions on that?

Im an adult (23) so of course I have to be emotionally mature and responsible… Is it okay to cry as an adult in general? Over things like movies, depression, and just stress? Is it okay to feel triggered or hurt over something cruel someone said to me and end up crying and freaking out over it? There are times where I’ve cried, as an adult, over horrible things other adults have said to me, and not just cry but some of those times I seem to get triggered into what could be an anxiety attack? Only over certain things. But those are harder to control but I try my best if I’m still in touch with reality to distract myself from it or try to stop it. Some anxiety attacks I’ve lost control of my limbs and vision so that’s safe to say it’s out of my control at that point.

I can be a bit irresponsible at times I won’t deny it but I don’t mean to be on purpose if that matters, I have been getting better the past 6 months versus what I used to be like. Is it okay for others to yell at me about it and get really… aggressive about it too? I can say they seem to just hate me with the things they say to me bc they’re pointing fingers, gritting teeth, and saying, “wtf is wrong w you? You’re so disgusting act like a fucking adult, you’re such an embarrassment!” I have to point out it DOESN’T effect ANYONES life but my own… (my parents are my abusers so it’s just a tough relationship with them anyway) so I don’t get why it makes them so angry at me when it doesn’t effect them. I wouldn’t ever choose to roommate or whatever with anyone unless I knew I could be responsible on my own FIRST. Bc I certainly don’t want to burden ppl.

Hi anon,

The last response to anxiety attacks or mental breakdowns should be anger. There is no good reason for anyone to be angry with you for expressing your emotions, even if you're completely dysregulated. The more dysregulated you are, the more important it is to be approached with sensitivity and kindness. Being emotional doesn't make you manipulative, childish, or stupid, it makes you human, and being met with aggression isn't going to help you calm down. I would highly recommend reconsidering the relationships with the people that you're describing.

It's okay to cry at any age. Sadness is a healthy emotion and it's completely normal to cry from things like movies and stressful events. This does not make you a burden whatsoever. Sometimes you simply cannot regulate yourself and that's okay, that happens. But it's important for you to find a way to more efficiently manage your emotions in a self-compassionate way. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could explore this with you and help you come up with some helpful ways for you to self-regulate.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[bakuhoes-dumbass]

WSPPPP NERDS ITS ME AGAIN MOCHI CAUSE YK WERE AMAZING ANYWHOOO Howwww about ooo! Okay so they see Y/N after the month right a different way to the other question/headcannon ima send a bunch! Y/N wanted to get better at her quirk so she went into an underground like training/fighting arena for ppl with quirks and she has been doing for the month they havent seen her. So she got a bit stronger how do you think they would react to that? and what would they do/ say to her when she finished sparing?

Oooooooooo this is very interesting Mochi. Let's see what I can come up with~

These are NOT cannon to the story line.

Warnings: Yandere Headcannons ahead. If you are uncomfortable with these types of things, DO NOT READ. Proceed with caution, as I do not feel bad if you choose to do so while being warned.

MINORS, DNI

Part 1

~~~

Tokoyami: As soon as Dark Shadow attempted to pull you into him, you twisted your body around and slammed your foot into Tokoyamk's side. With a grunt, his Dark Shadow had released its hold. Since when did his delicate star knew how to defend herself?! His annoyance grew. He just found you after a month, he wasn't about to just let you go that easily.

"My sweet little star, suddently so strong. Why must you insist on rejecting me? You are mine. Now come."

Kirishima: You struggle against his tight hold. A lazy grin is spread across his face, thinking there's no way you can escape. But the training you did for the last month was finally put to use when you flicked your fingers twords the mailbox, making it fly right into him. It didn't hurt him but it shocked him enough to loosen his grip so you can slip out and bolt. The grin on his face is slowly replaced by anger.

"Pebble, pebble, pebble! You need to stop RUNNING from me! No matter how much you prepare, I will ALWAYS find you!"

Hawks: The grip he has on you is becoming difficult as you squirm in his hold. He can't keep you from falling if you don't stop! But you weren't worried about that. Not at all. With a hand free, you wave it near a solar panel on top of a nearby tower, causing it to shift and snap. With one last kick to the man, he yelps and drops you. But you didn't fall far, as the hovering solar panel was quick to catch you. Hawk's face is a mixture of amusment and anger.

"Oh, birdy's been practicing. Come back here, baby bird. How about we fly TOGETHER?"

Tamaki: You felt the slickness of the tentacles wrap around your limbs, letting out a scream. You had to get out. Now. So that's when you turn your body around to face the once shy man and grabbed his tentacles with your hands, pulling him to you with your newfound strength. Once his body is flush against yours, you do the only thing you know could catch him offguard. You kiss him. Man is so shocked, he looses control of his quirk and you are able to get out and take off. That's when his face turns darker than it ever has.

"M-My bunny has been getting stronger and bolder. Oh, Bunny~ I'm coming for you and I won't ever stop."

Overhaul: After bringing you back to his place, (safely away from your neighborhood), what he didn't expect was for your quirk to have enhanced. Almost to the point of his strength. Your eyes flit around the room to land on a potted plant. Before he could put his hands on you once more, you stretched out a hand at the pot and threw it at him, smashing it into his back. He collapsed on the floor with a groan and you SPRINTED out of there. Because you knew if he caught you, you were fucked. He stands up on shakey legs, taking his gloves off.

"You think you can escape me?! NO amount of training will save you. I will TEAR this world apart until you are on your knees before me for eternity!"

Shoto: You knew only one person who can produce ice and the fact he was behind you terrified you. But you trained for this, you knew you had to get away. You swing your arm around and push him away with as much force as you can, til he slammed into the side of a house. You quickly make work of the ice around your feet with a rock til you broke free. But before you can run, you hear a voice behind you. Turning, you see the darkest look you've ever seen on him.

"Oh, my pet. You can train for as long as you want. You will never leave me again, I will see to it."

Dabi: The hand gripping the back of your neck gets tighter and tighter. You needed to get away as soon as possible. So you finally out your training to good use. He never would have expected you to reach behind you and latch onto his arm. With a mixture of strength and quirk, you flipped him over your shoulder and onto his back with a loud crack. You didn't even spare a glace at him before you started bolting.

"Mouse, how strong you've gotten. I guess I don't mind playing this game a little longer. Because, after all, in the end, I always get what I want."

Bakugo: You couldn't help but recoil at the profanities being spat in your face. He held you down as tight as he could, fearing you to leave him again. But to his surprise, you weren't going down without a fight. You intertwined your legs with his and bent your wrists to grab his, flipping you two over so you're on top. He stares at you in shock, before a manic grin takes over.

"Oi, angel. I had no idea you were so strong. You must have trained during our time apart. But I've finally found you. You're safe with me and I hope you know it will stay that way."

Denki: After coming to, you realized you were somewhere you've never been. A bedroom of sorts. You remember exactly what happened, which makes it more confusing for you when you realize he didn't tie you down?? Idiot. But he did lock the door. That wasn't sometbing to be worried about for you. Getting into your stance, you lifted up a leg and swiftly kicked a hole straight through the door and were able to run. But he saw. He saw everything through his security cameras.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it! I knew I should have tied her down. I didn't expect this kind of strengtj! Kinda hot... I'm coming for you, my love. I will make sure to restrain you this time."

Midoriya: He's strong, very fast and DETERMINED. This was going to be a hard one. But you didn't train yourself til almost death for you to give up now. You lean your head forward and slam it back into his. Hard. He reels for a moment, his grip dropping. You then lift your hand and point it to a nearby car, throwing it at him. He us caught offguard but was able to stop it. Once he looks up at you, your blood runs cold.

"Darling has bulked up, huh. Oh this is going to be SO much FUN! But you still won't be escaping me that easily. Come here, my darling~"

Shinso: Why. Why did it have to be him. The one you were most terrified of. The hardest one to break from. You try to move your body. You try but it's so hard. Come, y/n, you trained for this. Break his hold, BREAK HIS HOLD. Your mind concentrates as he watches you with amusement. The closer he gets, the more internally anxious you become. But finally, your training pays off as you wiggle a finger and a nearby garden stake slices through your leg. Shinso freezes in shock. How the HELL were you able to break out of his hold?!

"Kitten has got fuckin claws, I see. Oh, no no. You are NOT getting away from me again. I will BREAK you into my little plaything, if it's the last thing I do."

~~~

Read the story these headcannons are based off HERE!

~~~

All works are mine (bakuhoes-dumbass), do not copy or repost anywhere.

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it

Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech

George: See also, esteemed bastards

Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 

Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws

~~~~~~~

Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors

Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum

Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same

~~~~~~~

Foolish:When's your bedtime :)

Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods

~~~~~~

Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 

Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout

~~~~~~

Bad:You’re enough

Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.

~~~~~~

Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work

Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone

Bad: wait for you to get back

~~~~~~

Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in

Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

~~~~~~

Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish

Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep

Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall

Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.

Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.

~~~~~~

Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 

~~~~~~

Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore

Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!

~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you ok?

Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like

~~~~~~

Sam: My hands are cold

Ponk: *holds their hands*

Ponk: better?

Sam: My lips are cold too

~~~~~~

George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?

Sapnap: of course *leaves*

George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Dream: yeah no shit

~~~~~~

Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.

Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.

Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you

~~~~~~

Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.

~~~~~~

Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*

Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate

Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*

Skeppy: No!

~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know

Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!

Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?

Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!

~~~~~~

Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you

~~~~~~

Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?

Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)

Wilbur: that’s a turtle

Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

~~~~~~

Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it

Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended

Ranboo: No

Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~~~~~~

Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~~~

Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Bad: Sex.

Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.

Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.

Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Ant: Food.

Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?

Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.

Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!

~~~~~~~

Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?

Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.

~~~~~~

Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re pathetic!

Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!

Techno: You’re both losers.

~~~~~~

Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Skeppy: Bad, please!

Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

~~~~~~

Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?

Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.

~~~~~~

Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~~~~~~

Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!

Bad: LANGUAGE!!

~~~~~~

Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.

Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!

Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*

Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

~~~~~~

Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.

Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*

~~~~~~

Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Puffy: Where did you get that?.

Bad: My pocket.

Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Bad: Skills.

~~~~~~

Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.

Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Quackity: Spiders?

Bad: Spiders it is then.

Quackity: No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…

~~~~~~

Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.

Punz : Break her bed not her heart.

Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 

Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.

Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Tommy: Bet you I can!

Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~~~~~~~

Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.

Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~

Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.

Pummel party Squad: …

Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Phil:

Phil: Why are you eating dirt?

Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.

Tubbo: You don’t even know.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!

Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!

Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.

Skeppy: WAIT NO!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.

Bad: Good, because I hate you

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you a painting?

Skeppy: What-?

Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.

Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Tommy: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~

Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-

George: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dream: How’d you know?

George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

George: I even picked it up once

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*

Bad: Aw. :(

Skeppy: You know what they say.

Bad: Please don’t-

Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Bad: Frick-

~~~~~~~~

let me know if ya’ll want more <3

[sukirichi]

Hi! I hope you're doing okay. So I just had a thot. And idk what to do with it. So Imma just put it here cause your blog is my new favourite. I'm not even joking. I literally devoured everything related to Tokyo Rev on your blog. So here's my theory. Do correct me if you think I'm wrong Sensei!

Bouten husbands and where they liked to be kissed the most/ or is their weakness. (Ps: it's just my opinion. I mean no offense to anyone.)

Mikey~ Kiss him on his shoulders and he'll cry. Cause he's been bearing all the burden of his dark and decaying world for so long that he doesn't even know that he needs to take a minute for himself and rely on others around him. Especially since most ppl around him are willing to give their life and limbs for Mikey. He just can't seem to keep that in mind. So you've taken it upon yourself to remind him frm time to time. Just a little peck on his strong and broad-ish shoulders to remind him that he's not alone. That if nothing, he has you. He always will.

Rindou~ Something about being kissed on his cheeks, especially by his lover, does things to him. Like his cardiovascular muscles do a little somersault in his chest or something. Because yes, it doesn't matter if he's one of the big, scary and irreplaceable executive of Bouten, he still has an unconscious inferiority complex. Sometimes it just skips his mind that despite everything, he too deserves the world. And every once in a while you need to remind him about it. That he doesn't have to be flashy and snarky like his brother. He just needs to be himself and that he is undeniably worthy of love.

Ran~ Not many people are taller than him, you are no exception. So it makes sense that in order to kiss him you need to be on your tippy toes. And still you're only able to reach his neck. So yeah, just kiss him there. Right on his Adam's apple and he's a goner. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Ran is always the one to take charge. It's kind of in his nature and you happily oblige him. But every now and then, you also need to remind him to take a breather That he can just let go and get dotted over for a change. You're more than happy to take care of him, that he needs to be taken care off.

Koko~ This man not only, brings in the big dough for Bouten, but also beats up people while at it. To say that he's always overworked is an understatement. His hands are always doing something, illegal things most of the time. He knows he's no saint. That there's no coming back into the light. He's painfully aware. But once e intertwine your hands together and kiss him on top of his knuckles, he swears that it's his redemption. You're the only light in his dark and dangerous world.

Kaku-chan~ Please. Just kiss this man on his forehead. Please. He's literally out there, ready to give his life for the things he wants to protect. He's always doing that. Protecting the people that have gone astray, who have no more hope left. He's ready to die for them, if it means they'll keep going. So please, just once, just protect him instead. Protect him from the demons he skillfully hided in his head. Protect him from the nightmares that torment him every night. Just protect him for a change. He needs it more than he's willing to admit.

Sanzu~ Okay. Hear me out. He's deranged and he knows it. He knows he's won't bat an eye before painfully torturing someone to death. Heck he'll even do it with a smile plastered on his face. He knows that he's stained in blood almost all the time.(sometimes his own, most of the other times, not his own). He'll even relish it. He knows that he's been tainted with burden of death. He knows that he lives in the shadows. He's not sane. He's not good. He's bad. He's ugly. You can tell that these awful thoughts keep him awake at night. So when they do and he has this almost painful look on his face. Just pull him close and kiss him on his face, over and over. Kiss his scars, kiss his lips, kiss his nose, his eyes. Just don't stop until he's got your point across. That yes, it's true that he's despicable. But you still love him nonetheless.

Ps: Sorry that was too long and kinds got out of hand. But these are just my "thots". Thank you for hearing me out!~ Thot anon

hi i’m doing okay, thanks for asking n i hope you are too !! also aaah i’m glad to know my blog is your new fave, i hope you enjoy more of my future tokrev content 🥺 ALSO YES ITS HEADCANON TIME LETS GO LETS GO

mikey n shoulder kisses 🥺 i hc that mikey is stiff and rigid all the time without knowing. like you said, he has a lot on his mind and draken even said mikey had a heavy ass cross to bear, so imagine the weight and burdens he has to shoulder 🥺 so if you lean into him for a hug then kiss his shoulders, mikey deflates. to him, its like a reminder he doesn’t have to carry it all by himself all the time and poor bb forgets that often

cheek kisses for rindou 🥺 the idea of this big, bad executive infamous for breaking limbs but is actually a sucker for cheek kisses and turns into a soft lil bean when you cup his face and just smother him with love n affection? bless. rindou probably unknowingly exerts too much effort sometimes to prove something - may it be his strength, his power, or how he’s perfectly capable of fighting by himself - he’ll have that voice at the back of his head that he needs to do something. giving him cheek kisses grounds him and elicits butterflies in his stomach bcos he realizes that, “oh, i don’t have to try so hard. silly me...now more cheek kisses, please.”

ran and neck kisses !! ON THE FLOOR RN, TELL ME MORE. but yes omg i also hc that ran is such a giver and grown up to look for others the way he does for rindou, so in his head, he’s kind of drilled it into himself that he has to be the one in the lead - not necessarily in a mikey way - but in a “he needs to take charge and take his responsibilities seriously” kind of thing. like mikey, ran is probably often deep in thought as well despite his teasing mannerisms, that when you kiss his neck he can’t help but soften. he enjoys being doted on. loves to be the one on the receiving side. has the sweetest smile on his face when he gets a lil ticklish and he just feels like he’s on cloud nine <33

knuckle kisses for koko 😫 everything you said was on point !! his hands are probably so tired from fighting and counting bills all day, not to mention the amount of paperwork he has to do bcos who else will do them ?? no one knows the inner system of koko and how it works as well as koko does, and he wants to do his job right. he gets a little too absorbed in his work, however, that koko gets a little confused when you take his hands away from whatever he’s working on to leave little kisses at the pads of his knuckles, maybe even massaging his hands or playing with his fingers to help him relax a bit. and you know how koko is so good at what he does bcos its all he knows, but at the same he probably hates how he treads on this dark path ?? so when you kiss his knuckles, he feels relieved. like everything will be okay and second chances are real n something he’s worthy of

omg now this is my favorite - kakucho + foreahead kisses. forehead kisses are always so intimate and soothing in a sense. like come here so you can kiss him on the forehead, watch the way his eyes flutter close and a smile tugs at his lips when your lips trail down to his scar, all the while your hands are cupping his face with such tenderness he never really knew of. kakucho is so used to being the tough guy with his rough childhood that it almost feels surreal. surreal that he’s in bed, with you, safe and sound and you’re kissing his forehead so comfortingly he doesn’t have to worry about putting his walls down for a second. he feels safe. he feels at home. but most of all, he knows he’s not alone and he has you - his family

kissing sanzu’s scars 🥺 everything you said was beautiful n i can totally see it happening !! as much as we all know sanzu takes great pleasure and finds entertainment in what he does, it sinks down a little too late. when he’s not high, that’s when he feels the lows. when the blood on his hands are dried, that’s when he realizes it gets harder to wash them off until it stains deep all the way into his soul. then his scars. he sees his scars and remembers how he has to hide them at some point. he stays awake at night and oddly enough, silent and unmoving. and what better way to ease his worries than to pull him close and just to kiss his scars that he thinks are only one of the ways the darkness - the ugliness - of his soul shows through. keep him close and kiss his scars. sanzu may not always be in the right mind to understand your words, but the simple gesture of showing love and acceptance to a part of him that makes him a whole will engrave deep into his heart. leave him butterfly kisses. kiss him from everywhere to his eyes until they flutter close to sleep. kiss his nose adoringly until they scrunch so cutely. kiss his lips until its your taste that overwhelms him. and kiss his scars to remind him his imperfections are accepted and loved

[blxetsi]

hi!!! so this is kind of a random request but i hope it makes sense. so basically my height is my biggest insecurity, i’m really tall for a girl. i always feel like i’m not feminine or small or pretty like other girls. i was wondering if you could write hcs for which aot men wouldn’t mind having a taller s/o? :)))

tysm for requesting !! this was fun to make 🤩🤚

aot men who'd love a tall s/o (headcanons)

lowercase intended !

gn!reader x various characters

levi

- levi would like (or even prefer) a taller significant other for sure

- ppl say that isayama said he likes tall people anyways ???? i can NEVER find a source but it sounds true so we'll roll with it

- he may be insecure about his height sometimes, but like,, never when it comes to u if that makes sense

- like yeah he gets mad when hange pats his head like a child but when you do it he goes "😍"

- he finds tall people rlly attractive, and ngl he likes to look at you a LOT

- he sees your height kind of like strength ?? like strength/power can come in all different ways but he just thinks your height really brings out how strong you are

mike

- you gotta remember mike is 6'5",,,, i doubt he'd want to be with someone whos 5'0" 😐 (srry to my short girlies out there 🙈✨)

- no srsly one time he went on a tinder date with someone who was REALLY SHORT and people thought he was a FATHER going out with their child i-

- so yeah,,, he'll be sticking with taller people 😁👍

- tall people are just so convenient for him

- he doesnt have to bend down much to kiss you, your face isnt shoved into his stomach when you hug, you can actually look at him without breaking your neck and vice versa

- its absolutely great !

- its also more convenient having a tall s/o when youre cuddling

- its not awkward or a bit uncomfortable because of the ratio of your guys' limbs,,, BECAUSE youre both kinda in the same range

- also tall people wearing heels ??? a turn on for him.

hope u enjoyed !!! there r definitely WAYYYY more characters that like tall people imo (like armin, bertholdt, porco) but i couldnt rlly find ways to write about it 😐💔

hope u all enjoyed tho !! requests r open and stay safe !

[spacestationdaedalus]

post-canon JM but make them vigilante monster hunters

never seen a single episode but i think this might be the plot of supernatural? idk i bugged the server with this and now other ppl have to see it.

tw for general monster-related horror and descriptions of it, and very very mild injury

ao3 link here!

...

It's late. Again.

She sighs, rubbing at her eyes until starbursts dance in her vision. If her lab manager knew she was in here at god, is it already 3? in the morning, he would probably have a fit. But it's not her fault her work has been so. Uncooperative. Realistically, she could be doing some of this at home, but the lab computer already has everything she needs, and it's so much easier to focus here.

Well. Most of the time.

Her water bottle is still half full, but she decides a walk to the vending machine at the end of the hall would do her some good. She can stretch her legs and get some caffeine at the same time. Best of both worlds.

Right then, a sound cuts through the air. It's a dull roar, crescendoing to a peak that it maintains for a handful of seconds before fading away. As jumpy as she gets this late, she hardly bats an eye as she digs her wallet out of her backpack. It's a common sound to hear in the building, one that you get used to quickly once you spend some time here. The university has a wind tunnel it uses for classes, as well as research. She's seen it before, used it first hand - even down in the basement of the building, the roar of the compressed air tank when the valve is switched practically shakes the foundation. That's how you tell the first years apart from everyone else. They're the ones who jump when they hear it, looking around in confusion, and sometimes fear. But it doesn't take long for it to become background noise.

She's more concerned about the fact that it's so late. Some poor graduate student, down in the basement in the middle of the night running the tunnel instead of sleeping. Or doing literally anything else. Unfortunately, she can relate.

The door shuts with a weighty slam behind her. The silence of the building is even sharper after the echo of the wind, and she fights down the urge to shudder. The hall is long, dark - the university installed motion activated lights in most of the buildings a few years back, and the effect they create as she walks down the hall is surprisingly eerie. The fluorescents flicker on with the faintest clicks and hums as she walks below them, boots clicking against the tile floor. She's a fast walker, always had been - and the incessant sound of her footfalls in the quiet somehow puts her even more on edge.

The pale light from the vending machine reflects against the linoleum in a way that could be inviting. In theory. But it's really more off-putting than anything else, like the sickly glow of a motel sign off of the interstate, flickering a destitute "no vacancy" into the night. The selection is slim, but she punches in the code for an overpriced iced coffee that feels cool and familiar in her hand.

The scream of the wind tunnel comes and goes again, louder, now that she's outside the lab. She can't help the unease creeping down her spine in the wake of its silence. On one hand, it's a comfort to know at least one other person is in the building with her. But even then, the still quiet it leaves behind is always worse, and it sends the hair on the back of her head standing at attention.

It only gets worse as she walks, and she fights the urge to look over her shoulder. Everyone knows the feeling - when you're a kid, and you sneak into the kitchen in the dead of night to get a drink, only to sprint back up to your room as soon as you can because you're so, so sure something is coming for you.

And now that she's thinking about it, she can't not think about it, which is as futile as it is frustrating. She tries to force it down along with the beating of her heart, but the fear simmers beneath the surface like a pot on the stove, two seconds from boiling over. She's already more than halfway back, just a few more seconds and she can slam the lab door shut behind her and feel almost safe.

The roar of the tunnel, again. She can't help the jump, this time, on edge as she is. Strange, they don't usually run it so many times in so few minutes-

A thought comes to her then, without warning, the way they do when you realize you've forgotten something important. She remembers the conversation with striking clarity - Ajay, her roommate, working on a big research project. He needed to test his prototype in the wind tunnel, and he'd lamented to her over dinner the other day that a replacement part they needed downstairs wouldn't arrive until next week. Which sucked, because he has a deadline for a paper submission coming up and needed more data-

Most of this is useless. But she remembers, now, better than anything she ever has, that the wind tunnel hasn't been working all week. The lab is closed, would be until Wednesday, until the new part comes in.

The roaring shriek comes again, pounding against her eardrums in a way it never has before. Oppressive. Almost hungry. It's closer, it's louder.

It's behind her.

She turns. As she chokes on her own heartbeat and sinking dread, she turns.

And something is behind her.

Thin and wrong, inky black and too many limbs. A long torso with a long head attached, crooked on its neck. Gaping white sockets where eyes would, should, be. It has no mouth, and yet she knows with absolute certainty that it was making that sound. A mocking imitation of something so familiar.

And she knows, an anchor sinking into pitch black water, that it's going to kill her.

blood blood i need blood your blood your face you

It's in her head, a voice with no mouth to speak it. She opens her own mouth to scream, but it's useless to her. Nothing comes out, not even air. Maybe she can run, she has to run, has to get away. But she can't bring herself to turn even a sliver from the nightmare in front of her. A deep, primal fear convincing her that the second she can't see that thing is the second it will get her. 

Maybe she can run, still, with her eyes on it. But one of her feet finds the other in her panic, and she falls to the floor. She thinks she feels a pain in her wrist, but it's dull and far away. Hardly a blip on the radar of fear fear oh my god what is that thing-

It's coming for her, all bending joints like limbs of a puppet, pulled by invisible strings, limping, creaking in unnatural steps and lunges. Its eyes never once leave her, glued to her in hungry determination. The roar comes again, but it's twisted and warped like scrap metal and just as jagged around the edges.

And then it stops. Not more than ten feet from her. Frozen. She doesn't breathe, she doesn't think she could if she wanted to.

"That's enough."

It's a man's voice, from behind her. She doesn't have it in her to turn around, to look away. But it doesn't matter. Whoever it is god she hopes it's a who and not a what steps up next to her, in front of her. It might not be accurate to say he's shielding her, but he's between her and it, and she doesn't feel relief, but she feels. Safer, somehow.

She's never seen him before. His hair is long, streaked with grey, half tied up in a bun at the back of his head. He's wearing a long dark coat over long dark pants, tucked into black combat boots. And that's really all she can see from the floor.

As he steps forward, the creature seems to recoil. It hisses, maybe, and then another sound follows. A sad remixing of its own imitating screech from before, not quite a howl but more of a cry. It sounds pained, almost, creaking and desperate. Limbs rear up, but amount to nothing. It's an uncoordinated movement as it falls back on something like haunches.

"I'm watching you, now. There's nowhere you can hide from me."

The man's voice sounds strange to her. There's a cracking, almost static quality to it. She has no idea what the man could possibly be doing, but it looks like it's working.

Until it isn't.

The thing writhes and shrieks again, louder. She can feel it down into her bones, scraping at her marrow, god she wants to throw up. The man in front of her staggers slightly. He mutters something like a curse under his breath, brings a hand to his head. The thing is moving again, shambling towards them. It looks weaker, shakier than before but no less threatening. No less horrifying. Maybe even more so, with the look of a sick, maimed animal as it staggers down the street.

She thinks she might be about to pass out with the sudden chill that overtakes her. But the fading of her vision never comes, and is that. Her breath? She can see it in the air in front of her, condensing like it does on cold winter mornings. With a blink she realizes there's a fog as well, come seemingly from nothing. It's thick and low-hanging, coating the floor of the hall and swirling upwards. It chills her exposed skin, goosebumps racing up and down her arms.

She assumes the thing must be doing this, a defense mechanism or something, but it's slower than before. Subdued. It's still making its way toward them, but it looks lost, like a fawn trying to walk on new legs.

Until another man comes from an adjoining hallway, and bashes its head in with a baseball bat.

It's a solid hit, and the thing goes down almost immediately. The man, the new one, gives another swing, and another, and a few more, for good measure. His bat is slick with something dark and oily. And then the thing is still.

It's quiet for a second, two, then-

"Excellent timing as always, dear." The staticy click of the first man's voice is gone. He sounds out of breath, even though he hardly moved.

The second man laughs, and the cold and the fog seems to fade with it. He's bigger than the first man, taller. He's wearing a bomber jacket over a nondescript t-shirt, fingerless gloves and jeans frayed at the edges. Like he just walked out of an action movie. Or a horror movie. With the thing laying at his feet, the second might be more fitting.

"That was cutting it a little close, Jon. We knew it was with the Stranger, that it could fight you off-"

"Yes, yes, thank you, Martin. That's what the bat is for, after all. The Lonely was probably a bit overkill, though."

"It's not overkill if we don't get ourselves maimed, Jon-"

The first man - Jon, apparently - turns to her then. His face is scarred, and dark shadows hang under oddly bright green eyes. But his gaze isn't unkind as he looks down at her.

"Sorry, are you alright? I was hoping we could take care of this when everyone was gone, but-" He laughs darkly. "Well, I was in university once, I should have known at least one student would still be here in the middle of the night, even on the weekend."

The man going by Martin walks over, as Jon extends a hand to help her up. She's lost all hope of her brain trying to process what's happening but step one can at least be get off the floor. But she can't even do that properly. The hand she raises is the same one she fell on, and the twinge from her wrist shoots up her arm almost immediately in a shout for attention.

It must show on her face too, because Jon makes a sound and then Martin's asking her, "Oh, are you hurt?"

"Uh, n-no, I mean…'s just, uh, my wrist. Kinda, fell on it funny." Her voice isn't exactly steady, but it's a far cry from where she was expecting it to be. At least she's orbiting the realm of comprehensible.

Martin crouches next to her. Up close she can see his face in more detail - his eyes are a slate grey, like the fog from before. But they're kind, wrinkled at the edges when he smiles softly at her. "Mind if I take a look?"

She's not exactly in a position to say no, so she gingerly holds her arm out. His hands are rough, calloused, but surprisingly gentle as they probe her wrist. She can't stop the trembling, now, completely unrelated to the pain.

"It's a sprain." Jon says, laced with certainty somewhere above her.

Martin sighs, long-suffering. "Thank you, Jon, I was getting to that."

"Just trying to help." She can't see him, but she can practically hear the cheeky smile tacked to the end of that sentence.

"As much as I hate saying it, he's right." Martin eyes her with something close to humor, like they're in on a joke together. He shrugs a backpack off of his shoulders, rummages through it with one hand. "I think we have some elastic bandages left for something like this…"

"Front pocket." Jon says again. He's moved closer to the thing, the corpse, it must be, now. He's turned away from her, and she can't see his face.

"Thank you, love."

"Of course."

"Um-" She cuts in suddenly, her nerves and panic getting the best of her. Martin looks up from her hand, and Jon turns back to glance at her.

"Sorry, uh, I just- what the fuck was that?"

"I'd tell you not to worry yourself over it, but I don't think that's much of an answer." Jon says, coming back towards them. He crouches down before he continues. "Let's just say this is...our day job."

"It is three in the morning, though."

"That would be the, colloquial use of the term, Martin."

"Just saying." With Martin in front of her she can actually see the cheeky grin, this time.

He uses the bandage to wrap her wrist. It smarts a bit, but the pressure helps. He's clearly adept enough to do this and talk at the same time, because he cuts in next. "We're here to make sure things like that-" he gestures with a nod of his head. "-don't hurt anyone."

Her mouth is full of sawdust. "W- what, like, monsters and shit?" She always did swear a lot when she was stressed.

"More or less."

"If it's any consolation," Jon says. "These things aren't exactly...common. You have to have a special kind of luck to run into something like this."

Yeah, luck.

He sighs, then. He looks tired. "I'm so sorry. If it means anything. This isn't the kind of thing you'll be able to just forget, or-"

"That's why we're here." Martin cuts in. He's finished with her wrist, neatly wrapped and held in place with little wire clips. "To try to stop stuff like this from happening, before it happens. Sorry we were late."

It's not a stretch to imagine what would have happened if they hadn't shown up even later, or not at all. But it's something she will try very, very hard not to think about.

She swallows. "I guess...thank you, then."

"Of course."

The adrenaline and sudden lack thereof leaves her with a jittery exhaustion deep in her core. But she has so many questions, how could she not-

A chill, and a rush of wind and waves hit her before she can get another word out. It's gone as quickly as it had come, so much so she thinks she imagined it. But suddenly, she's alone.

The men going by Jon and Martin and the misshapen corpse of that thing are gone. The hall is just as it had been before, dim lights and freshly polished tile. No sign of anything, or anyone. Except for her.

She knows with crushing certainty that it wasn't a dream. Couldn't be a dream. But she knows that's what people will tell her. So she says nothing. She says nothing, and hopes nothing ever leads her to cross paths with those two ever again.

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

[questioningcis]

my life the past couple months

truly so much has happened, i started HRT loved it, loved most of the feelings i got from it, the breast growth, the arousal from just barely touching my nipples, female orgasms, mental changes within a week were almost exactly what i was hoping for if not more, someone at the job i’ve been at for 4 years was like “wow i’ve never seen you smile before”, my reality was just different, vivid, like a real lowkey shroom mindset if that makes sense. I know that we always hear, “estrogen won’t make you a girl” but holy shit of all of the times id cry and yearn for some shred of feeling like a girl, this is literally satisfying it. just to kinda feel a little bounce on my chest was really exciting, i just wanted to show them off even though they still weren’t visible, it’s weird to feel that ghost limb thing kinda validated in how right it feels to just have some titties you know?  I felt like i was floating around everywhere, socializing with everyone was a breeze, i felt so happy and giggly and cute it was RIDICULOUS. somehow started loving my body. even to the point of loving how masculine i still looked combined with the small muscle changes i was beginning to notice, like my pectorals kinda disappearing. I’m really trying to figure out how much of this is placebo but the stuff im talking about seems pretty real in my experiences. 

So much body positivity. I feel like i fantasized about having sex w my male side of myself. really weird, idk if anyone else got this ever. It’s weird too because after being off HRT for a month, im looking back to some of the pics i took while on HRT, and I’m getting turned on by my female version. If i could find some explanation as to why i want to feel like a girl so bad that would be great but as of right now, i still cant quite pinpoint it, maybe I’m noticing ppl seem to be nicer to girls in some sense, there seems to be less pressure to be masculine (i guess) on girls idk. I feel like trying to explain it just isn’t going to work. It’s a feeling that seems to be experienced by a lot of ppl. 

On the other hand, it felt like i was opening up a whole new can of worms. Somehow, a couple weeks in, started feeling the same jealousy i had felt the past few years towards women, but towards guys this time. I had all these thoughts of how i would socialize with them and thought about how now that I’m on HRT i should probably start phasing certain behaviors out to make way for new me, but i didnt want to, i just wanted to socialize w them, crack guy jokes w them and forget about this whole trans thinsg, and then ill go and see some cute girl and be like jealous of that, its really quite exhausting. But it pulled back the veil on a lot of stuff in my head also, it’s like estrogen helped me catch a glimpse of a side of myself that i had been searching for after every relationship fell apart, and how many versions of myself i never tried to be or simply abandoned because i was so afraid of what ppl thought. It really is tripping me the fuck out. Like wtf, I’m supposed to take this and be totally good with just leaving it all behind right? like wtf??? now it’s a whole other thing. Nothing seems real. I just want to decide one way or another, not go back and forth and risk really fucking up my health. Its a really weird feeling to wake up, feel my little breasts growing, tingling, and then go and workout and be all masculine and manly act as if I’m not going to keep growing them. The strength loss is so fucked too. A month off E and i’m enjoying the return of my strength, and my “normal” dick function, and am equally depressed at the pain i’m getting in my nipples which i can only describe as some sort of estrogen withdrawal because it stings, where as it was just kinda sensitive and ticklish while i was on HRTand kinda felt good, equally depressed at how itchy my neck is getting now that my facial hair is regaining and possibly getting even thicker this time around.

And now that i’m getting diagnosed with ADHD i really want to wait until i get medicated to decide to start back up again. Its just so weird. My lifes been going ok given everything except for this. this kills my mood anytime it every enters my brain. a straight up joy kill. a giant rock falling in my stomach.  I have so much to live for but i still am just getting so sick of existing, i don’t feel safe. i also don’t have anyone to talk to about this and i feel like its bc I might not strike a lot of people as queer. i’m just eternally annoyed and really just wish i could have a life where i’m not constantly weighed down by these thoughts. 

if someone read this and has any advice on how to handle please let me kno i seriously am so fucking lost haha

[themikewheelers]

I love Joyce, and I understand her reasons for wanting to move, but at the same time... I just think that's a very bad idea? Like, if it were just her, I'd say go for it (and while Jonathan's upset, I think he can handle it), but like... I'm really worried how it will affect Will and El (ESPECIALLY El). He's clearly devastated by it, and El's just lost her father, home, and powers (which must be like losing a limb for most of us), all in one fell swoop. (continued)

i don’t think i received ur continuation tumblr must have eaten it :((

but yeah, i’m kinda interested to see how they explore that in s4. joyce is obviously such a good mother, but there’s def stuff that’s complicated about the decision to move. like in her mind, she’s not only doing what she knows is best for her own mental health, but she thinks getting her kids + el the hell out of this town is what’s best for their immediate physical safety, and she thinks that starting over somewhere new will probably be rlly good for the kids mentally. and maybe it will be, but it will undoubtably be rlly hard for them too. like u said, i think jonathan will be able to adjust most easily, bc besides nancy he didn’t rlly have any friends back in hawkins, but still it’s gotta be rough mentally if after living in the same town ur whole life to start somewhere new for ur senior year.

then with will, i do think it’ll be good for him to get away from hawkins. i really do. for him, his big cause of trauma is the upside down, which is literally the demonic hellish version of hawkins. so even tho he’s still not getting the visions and flashbacks, i’m sure it’s still difficult for him to walk around town and see all these places after being trapped in the upside down version of them. so i think getting will out of there will be rlly good for his recovery, but it’s still gonna be hard on him having to go to a new school and know nobody and rlly have no one but his family after having the same group of friends essentially his whole life. he’ll be lonely, and it’ll be rough

el is the most complicated tho. it’s going to be SO freaking difficult for her leaving hawkins, bc that’s rlly the only town she’s ever known, and it was a rlly big deal for her to accept hawkins as her home, and now she has to leave it. in some ways it’s harder for will and jonathan bc they’re leaving the place they’ve been for 14/17 years, but for el it’s harder in its own way too, bc even tho she’s had her home there for less time, being able to call hawkins her home was a HUGE deal for her. it’s not smth she just grew up with and naturally became her home, she actively built herself a home in hawkins. and that home includes hopper and the cabin too. it took her so long to rlly feel happy and safe and embrace this life she built for herself, and now i definitely think she’s gonna feel like the rugs been pulled out from under her. plus she’s dealing with grief, and after losing hop, it might make her feel better to run away somewhere there’s not as many painful memories, but i’m sure it’s also rlly hard for her to just LEAVE all that and leave all her memories of him that she probably just wants to cling to. and she’s losing her support system, which is the biggest problem. she’s going through so much grief and she’s losing all the people she’s always relied on when she’s upset. sure she has the byers now, and i’m sure a beautiful relationship will develop between them as a result, but she doesn’t have that relationship right off the bat, and that’s when the pain is gonna be at its worst and that’s when she’s gonna need that support system the most. in that sense i’m rlly glad the byers waited so long to move, and i wouldn’t be surprised if el was a big reason for that. joyce knew she needed some time to get out of her intital stages of grief and rlly form a relationship with the 3 of them before they bring her somewhere new.

but also with el, it might be good for her to be on her own. she’s always been a very independent girl, but in the sense that she can rely on herself for her own physical safety and well-being. she can survive the lab. she can survive the woods. she can do all this. but she’s never rlly been in a position before where she’s independent as just a part of her regular life, and now being out of hawkins, she’s gonna have to be very independent bc she’s gonna spend most of her days alone. she’s not gonna have school or anything, i’m sure joyce will pick up where hop left off with homeschooling, but she won’t meet ppl that way. and the byers will be away most of the time at school/work themselves. so it’ll be interesting to see how she deals with that. plus as i mentioned before with all her grief she might feel like it is too much to stay in hawkins surrounded by so many memories, so i think there’s a lot of different routes they can take el’s growth going forward

and not to drift a little off topic, but i rlly wonder what el’s reaction was to moving. or more importantly, how she felt she could react. bc i don’t think she was happy about the idea whatsoever, but did she say anything to joyce about it? was there any pushback? with will and jonathan i think there was some resistance, but with el? i don’t think so, just bc she doesn’t rlly have that kind of relationship with joyce (at least yet) where she WOULD be comfortable to express that. that’s smth i thought was rlly important with her relationship with hopper and it’s weird, but it’s an underrated thing: el didn’t have a problem getting angry at him. she never felt uncomfortable voicing it when he made her mad or frustrated or upset. and i think that was good, bc not only did it help her express her own emotions when she’s not always the best at communicating, but it also helped hopper bc he doesn’t know how to be a perfect dad and she’s obviously a child with a lot of specific needs so for her to be able to vocalize when she was angry with him was important for him to figure out what the hell to do sometimes. with joyce, i think it’ll be weird for el at first bc she can’t rlly express it when joyce makes her mad, and maybe the move is an example of that. but i think over time that could be a rlly interesting thing to explore to show how el kinda adapts to joyce’s parenting style which is more about just very emotional heart to hearts and sharing your feelings that way.

i also just kinda wanna know in general how all the kids feel about the move, even after the time jump. bc while i do think joyce has always been acting in their best interests, and it is good for all of them in some ways, do they feel that way? do any of them maybe hold a little bit of resentment against joyce? i would completely understand if they do, so i kinda hope that s4 goes into detail about how the 3 of them feel towards joyce regarding the move

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[cow5secondchance]

Episode 2 - Why Did People Flip - Xavier

Format: Sequester

Eliminated: Wyatt (9-3-1-1-1) || Daisy (Battle Match)

BLAKE

so! week 2 and my plan honestly is to just really still focus on my social relationships. so far, i feel very confident in my ability to connect with people on a 1 to 1 level, and at least hopefully skate through these first few weeks. consistently my problem in the game is missing out on a key group or alliance that is running more than I know. without being too chaotic and paranoid, i would really really like to try to sit here and just scope out the relationships. as for my groups! i really want to work with jennet. she's like iconic? her art is so cute and i do feel like i made a genuine connection with her early on, and i think pointing out we're some of the only award winners in the cast could bring us closer together ! plus 4th place legends... beyond jennet, i have a group with isaac and nicole, and honestly, im feeling suprisingly good about both. i think these first 6 people i mention are the ones im going to focus on most, and focus on really forming game connection wheras the rest im just socially going to really force myself into their LIVES and hope they like me! Daisy and Jarod... loves them and swifties who ive played with in the past both in a way that i feel we were unfinished. jarod got taken out in the doubles round just as we kinda connected on a game level, and then daisy and i were working together in bb netflix before it got canceled. this is really the group i want to strategize with and im really putting myself on a limb being loyal to them because i know they have options, but its a risk im willing to take because if i can be the number 1, their connections can just offer more safety and information for myself. and the final people who i kinda want to work with is captain and wiliam xavier s up there, we just havent spoken tons dont really have much of an opinion on the others? if i had to nominate right now it might be mario just because we havent spoken yet.

XAVIER

It's annoying to be nominated, especially by Jennet. Literally two minutes before we were talking and I was explaining how this round is played. And then Jennet nominates me. I feel betrayed. Getting my G4ce together (Greenhouse 4) so we can vote as a team. And well, well, well, I just found out that the Sequester 4 are also voting together. It is weird that they are all nominated during the Sequester round. They are targeting either Wyatt or Kaleigh. Knowing they are a team, I want one of them out, if I can swing it quietly.

NICOLE

HI I’m back and already went through a ton! Last round a misunderstanding / Lanie throwing me under the bus just because I said I hadn’t spoken to Nyx and Captain really set me up in a weird spot so I had to get rid of Lanie and then she said we all suck (imagine being almost 30 and telling someone who is your students age that they suck! I get it really is terrible to be blindsided but it was her fault, she played too fast! Like yell at me for not communicating properly or whatever she believed I did at that point but don’t take it out on everyone especially like the youngest player in the game!) Anyway, this round is sequester so we are all back together! I finally get to play with Daisy! I love her so much so I’m super glad we got to play, I’m very glad I get to reunite with Lindsay, I’m glad William isn’t mad at me for the whole Lanie situation and now I’m safe for the first vote! It is a very good feeling but I also feel like I should be learning from Lanie’s mistake and playing not fast so I’m trying to take a step back from talking in the house chat. I’m just so excited to see everyone but I will try to contain myself so I don’t annoy anyone. Check back in later in the round!!!

BLAKE

I forget the questions omg but I had a call with Jarod where he kinda threw out wyatts name as an option to go, and honestly I’m completely fine with that because even though they seem super sweet, I feel like I’m juggling enough balls and I don’t need to add them into my mix, whereas I feel a lot better about every other nominee other than Kaleigh, who I don’t think anybody would do this early My strategy is to just campaign for myself to stay to everybody and avoid throwing out names. I’m hoping that comes from Jarod or one of the safe people because they literally have the safety to get away with it 

XAVIER

I like video confessionals. The only alliance of 4 should be Greenhouse

CAPTAIN

hello dr.. so i'm glad i got saved by jarod :pleading_face: he rlly said i'm gonna make captain safe no matter what happens. and thats exactly what he did :100: for ppl who are vulnerable, i want autumn, jarod and xavier to be safe the most like idc i just want 3 of them to be safe. xavier might be in a bit of trouble tho since the totem pole ppl are voting together for sure hmmm so i need to try to talk to them to sway them from voting xavier. for the plans to avoid battle match? idk i just want them to feel safe around me no matter what. so that if i end up voting them, they're not gonna be bitter at me that much. and i lowkey saved myself with wyatt since wyatt said they wanted to work with me so prays.

__________

also, i secured an alliance with jarod, autumn and jennet. and a greenhouse alliance with mario, nyx and xavier. the latter hasn't been in the talk like with every greenhouse yet but xavier brought it up to me and i think that it should be great. so fingers crossed!

WILLIAM

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, going into Round 2 im having a really big struggle..... im seeing  THAT I DONT DISLIKE A SINGLE PERSON ON THIS CAST, USUALLY THERE IS AT LEAST ONE BUT NOPE    Also we are moving into a Sequester sorta semi safety chain with half vulnerable and half safe cast and lucky me I think Lanie either hated me the most or the least from our Survivor team and decided to give me the Karma twist which gave me safety for the round but made me have to pick the first unsafe out of the whole cast. I think my strategy was to pick someone who didn't talk to me yet (so i had a reason) as well as someone who was sorta loved by most if not all and wasn't a target for it, because I'm thinking if I just fade into the background this round no one would have a need or want to pick me for the Battlematch, i think its safe to assume whoever goes home will pick the person who made them unsafe plus like one other person, so i just have to avoid being that other 1/13 people. As for the vote i have no clue at all, I think maybe Isaac cause i haven't said much to him at all, or maybe Jarod cause i know he is hella busy and prob wont pick me to go into battle..... just not Wyatt or Blake or Kaleigh rn.  So like yeah, just gonna pray, not talk around too too much, let people come to me so it doesnt seem like im pushing anyones name and hopefully vote someone i dont love out. yeah so much fun xoxo William F

NYX

So, this round is pretty confusing and difficult to navigate cause not only do we have to vote someone out we have to vote someone out and hope they don't drag us into the battleback. I'm very happy to be safe for the vote since at least then i'll have a chance to battleback in a comp. So, for this vote I can't vote Autumn since she gave me safety, I can't vote Jarod since he took one for the team, I can't vote Xavier cause of the gh alliance, I can't vote Blake due to our bonding on tau ceti, so my only real options for this vote are Isaac, Wyatt, and Kaleigh. If I had my way i'd just pile the votes on wyatt and get them out now but it's not that easy because i haven't talked as much and they could see that as incentive to drag me in. Of course all the people I just mentioned I don't wanna vote for I wanna save because that means they'll be willing to work with me to some capacity. To avoid the battle match is the hardest part cause people can be very impulsive with their decisions and heat of the moment always catches people off guard. My best bet is just not to make too many promises and to just tell the truth and hopefully that'll be enough to gain their respect. 

CAPTAIN

besties.. i don't know what i'm doing. its between wyatt and kaleigh methinks but wyatt keeps dropping my name everywhere and i don't really like it. idk if they get eliminated, if they would put me in the battle or not. but like if they're this messy, i'm voting them for sure. also sobs kaleigh is so cute.

__________

prays for me DR! sign: captain.

LINDSAY

bro no one wants to throw out a name because of the battle drag twist so it's three hours to tribal and i dont know who the fuck to vote my gut is telling me jarod but i am absolutely not letting jarod drag that shit back to me definitely not autumn i dont know like. i'm working the tightest with william, daisy and wyatt weirdly enough and none of us have heard anything so i just. ?????

MARIO

I AM SAFE!!! I AM NOT SECOND BOOT AGAIN

AUTUMN

IT WONT LET ME PUT AUDIO FILES IN!!! But when Monty puts them all together later this season I hope yall enjoy haha

XAVIER

Ok this vote is messy. It started out with Jarod and the Sequester group wanting to vote Kaleigh. They got people on board, and it looked good. Until Wyatt made that alliance chat. And of course the vote shifted to Isaac. But the Sequester group won't vote Isaac. Mario voted Autumn. Captain voted Wyatt. I am voting Kaleigh because I haven't spoken to her much. But I want the vote to go Isaac's way - it breaks up Sequester, and he won't think it was me, so safe from the battle. So it may be 5 on Kaleigh, unless the other people in that Alliance chat are not being honest as well. Ha ha. As long as it's not me, right?!

LINDSAY

wyatt made a voting block?? and didn't include me?? the person with no connection to isaac who they kept safe and would have probably voted with them???? wh ok i guess my vote is on wyatt tonight tf 

NYX

So, this round is a clusterfuck of scrambling cause no one wants to get pulled into the battleback and potentially lose there. I just don't wanna go home even earlier than last time because my game has just been so much better and to lose it this way would be fucking devastating. i just want to win so badly so im just hoping i can maneuver this right

LINDSAY

"you know that this is anonymous right" DAISY HELP NO I DIDNT FUCK OK I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE AM I

XAVIER

WHAT JUST HAPPENED. I know Captain voted for Wyatt. Maybe Captain is more influential than I thought? Why did people flip? Because of the alliance chat? It was too much? And why wasn't I included in the flip vote? Agh. Time to make my own rules here.

__________

I am still shookt 

DAISY

[watsonmycompass]

Aethelrik fic

Title: Bread And Apples (1/1) Pairing: Aethelrik (Aethelflaed/Erik) Fandom: The Last Kingdom Rated: Explicit (tw for difficult childbirth, if there’s anything else I need to add a warning for please let me know and I will xx) 

Summary: Her heart is singing with the wind. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him and it’s gentle and kind and everything she’d always known in her chest it would be.

Aethelflaed fights, and remembers.

AO3

A/N:  sorry about this guys! it’s kind of a mess but i’ve edited it so much at this point I’m a bit worried if I don’t post it now I won’t post it at all. this is the second aethelrik fic ever at the time of writing. which sucks for multiple reasons but namely because the only other one, Love Is Supposed To Be Gentle by citra_talugmai, is so so good! it sets the highest of bars, which I came nowhere near close to reaching–go read it! :) edit: there’s another one! and it also nearly had me in tears, the characterisation is so! so!! good!! It’s called Tomorrow by redenzione and it’s up on their tumblr (with cute sidepairing of uhtred x gisela and the possibility of a sequel!! please make sure you go and give these clever talented ppl some love if you have a minute xxx

It hurts.

Sometimes she can hear the howling of the wind over her own, when she grows too tired even to keen. Her breathing is like a tidepool, swirling in and out of her lungs, impossible to prolong or catch for more than a moment in this dance–the endless dance of her body with nature, with pain. It’s dark, like a sickroom. The women shut out all the light as her labour progressed–as the hours passed and it didn’t. She can hear the low murmur of their praying as it rises above the gentling wind, and she turns her head towards it like a child seeking comfort; finds none. She is a princess of Wessex and the lady of Mercia, but at the moment she is only Aethelflaed; fighting a battle which she has no idea whether or not she can win.

She’d called out for him, when the pain first grew too large and black for her eyes to see and her vision had faded into nothingness. Erik. Then there was only please god please let us live and for a moment after please god let us die I want I want I need to be with him where it is warm and safe and he had always made her feel safe. Wasn’t that strange? Even surrounded by men who wanted to frighten her to the very core she knew somehow she would be all right, had the courage to look him in the eye and bargain with him as her equal. The bread and apples she’d wolfed down as soon as the door closed behind him… they’d been the best she’d ever tasted, and she knew after somehow that no food would ever taste as sweet again.

In the months that passed after she lost him-after he fell, his insides red and ragged and ruined–her belly grew round and she often found herself craving apples. She would sit and eat them one by one, pare each of them with the bite of the silver knife she’d kept about her skirts since the night Erik’s brother thrust his sword into her heart as surely as if he’d planted it among her ribs and their old dream burned with Beamfleot. (It’s one of Uhtred’s knives. When she’d asked him for it he’d looked at her so long and steady she’d been sure he would refuse. Instead he’d taken one of her hands, clasped it gently around the dagger’s hilt, and when his own hand came away she saw it was smeared with Sigefrid’s blood.)

The women watched her ever warily, she remembers–watched the gleam of her knife and her fingers sticky sweet with the fruit’s pale, dusky juice–as warily on those days as they always did after she came back as someone different than the Aethelflaed who’d left, their Lord’s fair and chastened young wife. They’ve heard me call out to Erik, she thinks to herself suddenly as she tries to pant along with the spasms of her womb, but it’s a distant thought floating through a haze of pain.

Would Erik have brought her apples, when her belly swelled? Would he have looked at her with the same confused tenderness in his eyes as on the day they’d made their bargain?

The pain rips through her again, and she hears rather than feels her cry, the way her muscles contract. It’s gone just as suddenly–as if it no longer belongs to her–the warm, yellowish light of tallow candles filling the room. She can still hear the wind, singing softly as it rushes past ancient stone… and he’s beside her, his presence as warm and solid as it always was. She reaches for him with blind tears dripping down her cheeks. Then his hands are in her hair, gentle and strong, she presses her face into his chest and the rest of the world begins to fall away. He cradles her face in his hands, tips her chin up to look at him with the same characteristic tenderness in his eyes as the first time he ever truly touched her, under Màni’s moon. Whatever he sees there brings a furrow to his brow and she moves faster than thought to press her lips to it, fierce with sorrow and joy, until it’s gone.

Her heart is singing with the wind. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him and it’s gentle and kind and everything she’d always known in her chest it would be.

She starts to laugh, joyful and unrestrained, and the look of amazed confusion (tinged with disgruntlement) on his face when he pulls back to look at her only makes it worse. In a moment she is hiccoughing into his chest, peals of laughter smothered as unsuccessfully as her smile.

“A lesser man might be upset if his bedmate laughed as you do, Lady, but I am not concerned–”

He breaks off with genuine apprehension at the noise she makes trying to stifle the fresh bout of laughter his words cause, looks into her face with a worried, searching gaze; but the arms holding her to him relax somewhat when she shifts closer and smiles up at him. He makes an indignant sound in his throat she has only ever heard Danes make–they are expressive in a strange, free way that the men of her father’s court are not–mutters something to himself in his own harsh, lovely language. But he smiles into her hair and pulls her more securely on to his chest so she is draped over him. She makes an approving sound, and it is his turn to huff out a laugh.

It’s been a while since she laughed like this. And longer since–ever in truth–she has felt so free, for all she was not a serious child. She had grown more somber with age, the dark days before Ethandun tempering her childish laughter with thoughtfulness and self-restraint–as it had all her family. If that despair had beaten her father to iron, unbreakable and unbending, it had taught his daughter to trust in those who fought for them, and always to hope for better days.

Then there had been Aethelred, and for weeks she’d believed she might never smile a true smile again. What did it matter if better days were coming, when her nights were full of humiliation and pain?

Erik’s breath is hot and comforting on the skin of her neck, where he has buried his head in her shoulder. She lets out the breath she hadn’t meant to hold in in a rush, but he must have felt her tension because his eyelashes tickle her skin and he cups a hand to the back of her neck, tightening the other around her hip protectively. His voice is slow and watchful when he asks,

“Are you well, lady?”

She can tell from the way his fingers drift over the skin of her neck, achingly slow and ever so careful, that it’s a question he already knows the answer to. All the same, she draws back to look at him; traces the strong line of his eyebrow with her thumb and watches his pupils dilate at her gentleness.

She will not go back. She takes comfort in the fact that she cannot. Either she or Wessex died the moment the Dane warrior caught her arm in the forest and dragged her back to the brothers. The moment she rode across the threshold of Beamfleot’s fortress with Erik’s arms around her waist and all hope of rescue perished, so did she.

If her father is tempered iron then she is steel, and she will not be responsible for the destruction of his England. She’s grateful though–awfully, fiercely, desperately grateful–that in her dying days fate has permitted her to taste so much, finally, of what it is to be alive. She looks down at Erik, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath her fingers, her gaze unwavering as it meets his. His eyes burn as they pass over her and they do not falter, but there is a gentleness in them too. It hurts to look at him so she doesn’t let herself stop, she looks and looks and aches with the knowledge that soon she will be losing him. That the candles which light this small room will one day burn out.

She knows he believes he will lose her to the ransom her husband and father might amass, to his and his brother’s own plans–she’s not sure if it’s a kindness or a cruelty on her part that she does not tell him the truth. That she says nothing of the scrap of wood, splintered sharp, hidden beneath the bedrushes where they lie and where he presses his fingers inside of her, makes her gasp with joy and holds her tightly to his chest. She hopes it’s a kindness, because she knows the lie is necessary. Whatever might happen to them when they are forced to leave this room, she needs none of her parents’ faith to know that he’d sooner cut off his own limbs than let her come to any harm. In these moments in the flickering dark, she feels his love stronger than anywhere else–fierce, and all-consuming, unqualified by other loyalties and vows. He whispers it into her hair as he makes her come undone. In these moments, and all others, she loves him back. Without breaking his gaze she leans down and presses a kiss to the juncture of his shoulder where it meets his chest. He exhales shortly and says nothing; but she feels him shaking.

When she speaks into his skin it’s measured, slow, and almost quiet enough for the wind to steal her words away. She almost hopes it does; for they come out sounding mangled somehow.

“I should regret ever meeting you,” she starts hesitantly, the words refusing to trip off her tongue. Frustration tinges her voice as she looks for the right words. For any words.

“I shouldn’t feel for you as I do.” She settles on finally, and presses her lips to his chest again to escape the way he is looking at her. He always looks at her like that, contemplative, listening and considering every word she chooses to say. In this moment, she cannot bear it.

“I can’t help it.” It comes out like a confession–feels more forbidden than the first time she told him she loved him, certainly, her fingernails digging into his back as she reached her peak and cried out; joyfully, wildly, freely. She tells him again anyway, and again, and he flips them over so she is on her back and there is something serious and truthful in his eyes and he kisses her and kisses her again and all she feels is safe and unfettered, despite the warm, unyielding weight of him against her body as he holds himself above her, pressing into his wrists. When they fuck she wonders if that feeling is what love-making is. She never knew it before she came to this place–and wants, with a startling intensity, to know it with him for as long as they both shall live.

Afterwards she presses against him and he holds her tightly, so his fair beard tickles her brow and she wrinkles her nose, pressing it into his chest. For a dead girl she feels very warm. Their breathing has grown even again and she is drifting around the edges of sleep when he finally speaks into the quiet of the room.

“I cannot give you up.”

It sounds like the revelation of a once-blind man opening his eyes to the dawning sun. He sounds dazed. She can’t help but grip on to him more tightly and she feels his surprise at her cognizance in the tensing of his muscles, but he says nothing, only holds her closer to him and drops a kiss into her hair.

When he says it again he sounds resigned–it’s sworn, an oath.

“I cannot give you up.”

The wind is howling faster now, screaming through the fortress’ halls and corridors outside; but it cannot touch them and though the candle flickers in the window it keeps burning, impossible to snuff out. A future opens up before them as it picks up speed and Aethelflaed sees it, lying both in Erik’s arms and in a bed drenched in sweat and pain, fighting for the life inside her and her own. He would have brought her apples, and watched her devour them with a grin, pressed his hands to her stomach as if the life she carried inside it was as precious as he had once termed her.

The yellow light fades and she is alone, her face damp with tears. Erik is dead, and she is as far as she could ever be from the home she’d dreamed for them. The land they would have farmed, its rich soil littered with her apple seeds.

The grief rushes through her like the wind through stone. She hears it howl, and the women flurrying about distantly, speaking in a rush of haste and fear and it’s time, prayers rising again and falling but she has no voice to join them, only the awful, raw sound of her loss and pain and Erik and she screams–

she takes her grief and holds it and pushes and pushes and her vision is white and

Her daughter’s cries ring through the air like silver, biting but warm. One of the women pulls back the shutter finally and the moon is shining, pale and whole. Aethelflaed closes her eyes as she reaches for their babe, and drinks in its light.

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC: Thank Meenah

Yesterday at 5:07 PM

caepaecaesurae WVe'vwe split, and the safe-house wvon't be needed anymore, on my end at least.  I'vwe left a small thank you present on the kitchen counter. I'd be in your debt if you could wvipe the coordinates used off of the pad's history list, if and wvhen convwenient. Thank you again, and havwe a nice night.

Yesterday at 9:38 PM

brackishbarracuda yeah i can do that isle head over in an hour oar so brackishbarracuda s good to sea u caepaecaesurae Good to see you too.  I appreciate the neutrality and the assistance. Havwing somewvhere empty to go helped more than once.

Today at 12:13 AM

brackishbarracuda ive been fused before an efin when its ppl u give a shit aboat its hard so i mean some place where u didnt have any extra ppl shoutin at u seemed pike a good idea to me caepaecaesurae It wvas. Did you separate from wvhomevwer it wvas peaceably?  Or vwia incompatibility? brackishbarracuda peaceably for both thankfully one was def a hell of a lot rockier than the other one tho aight the best puns are the ones u didnt mean to make i cannaut believe caepaecaesurae I do enjoy those ones. brackishbarracuda did u ever get hit w the gem thing caepaecaesurae As I am lost, it seems I did not. brackishbarracuda lemme find u a picture for full effect aight bc shit is stupid and mine was pike stupid times two brackishbarracuda http://imgur.com/sPQFO8t there we go rly tho how tf puts that shit on ur foot caepaecaesurae WVhat is that? brackishbarracuda aight so theres the weird sentient rock aliens who p much project around w/e rock they are an they do the fuse thing on purpose pike thats a thing they can do and a bunch a ppl got hit w it a while back usually shits pike on ur hand or ur forhead oar ur arm or somefin but no brackishbarracuda nah it was on my cod damn foot caepaecaesurae First I'vwe heard about them. ... You havwe my sympathies. WVhy the foot? brackishbarracuda idk i do naut fuckin no thats just where it was when i got got caepaecaesurae I imagine you sawv the tittastrophe wve had? brackishbarracuda yeah brackishbarracuda yeah that shore was somefin i saw w my own two eyes brackishbarracuda howd that whole thing go efin caepaecaesurae It looked rather like wve wvere split dowvn the middle vwertically in a lot of respects. The side wvith no breast had short hair like mine. WVe made a falsie so clothes wvould fit. brackishbarracuda now sea i woulda just said fuck it and done the whole half clothes shit pike jacket on one and dress on the other deal caepaecaesurae tsk.  I should'vwe talked to you more, that'd be a hell of a look. brackishbarracuda i mean u aint gotta b fused to pull it off right caepaecaesurae True.  It wvould complete the look though. caepaecaesurae I may try a half-and-half garment of some sort soon. brackishbarracuda plz take pictures i need this shit caepaecaesurae I do lovwe my selfie tag. brackishbarracuda s cause its good shit caepaecaesurae Howv do you feel about breasted, marginally nsfwv pictures of me? brackishbarracuda im down caepaecaesurae http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/130431613390/speaking-of-anons-d brackishbarracuda v nice dam tho where tf did u get half those scars brackishbarracuda impressive caepaecaesurae I don't normally showv much skin. The large round ones on the legs are from an air battle invwolvwing laser cannons, during the game. brackishbarracuda uh first off fuckin ow caepaecaesurae Pff. Yes, but wve wvon. brackishbarracuda secondly i get it if u aint comfy w it oar w/e but u ought show more a it imo and that right theres why caepaecaesurae A good half of the scars you see there are from my first century on Alternia. ...at the end of wvhich, I began wvearing neck to wvrist to ankle bodyarmor, of the sort contained in that package.  Havwe you stopped by that hivwe yet, by the by? brackishbarracuda shit yeah i did i thought id said thank u btw caepaecaesurae You may havwe, I'm scattered lately. brackishbarracuda pike seariously i aint been in a searious scrape in a while but pike dam i cant get away from nofin w/o bleedin it feels like caepaecaesurae Armor that no one knowvs you're wvearing can be a wvonderful game changer. It turns a knife in the ribs into an invwitation to play. brackishbarracuda as much as i like it and the apron tbh shit is nice brackishbarracuda u probably made clams night more than mine w the armor caepaecaesurae I hope it servwes wvell, or entertains.  Or that the flavwor vwials do. brackishbarracuda hes the one whos gotta stitch me up half the tide caepaecaesurae A good role for a quadrant. If you elect to wvear the vwest, at least he'll only be stitching up limbs. brackishbarracuda lmao yeah fair also i should punch u in the nose for the fuckin shit u sent me pike it was so good that it legit made me mad how tf caepaecaesurae ... Hope player.  "Beyond belief" is my playground. brackishbarracuda throws my dam hands caepaecaesurae I can make things that I can imagine.  Cae*fora* made things that *She* could imagine. brackishbarracuda shit is fucked up caepaecaesurae A bit.  ... I usually try to make things that are slightly less... Intense... than that... I hope it wvasn't too much? brackishbarracuda isle survive but my tongue aint gonna b  happy w anyfin ever again this is me jokin mostly i aint upset at u oar anyfin caepaecaesurae ..Still, pardon. brackishbarracuda s aight cae ur good brackishbarracuda seariously tho why aint u show off ur scars more 38? caepaecaesurae Enough of them havwe unfortunate sources for it to be uncomfortable wvhen specific ones are indicated and remarked on, much of the time. caepaecaesurae ... Mostly, I don't like taking my armor off, evwer. I'vwe been getting better at removwing it long enough for selfies though. brackishbarracuda well dam the one u just showed me took some fuckin guts then didnt it caepaecaesurae Heh.  It wvas taken during a period of amnesia wvhere I didn't remember wvhere most of them wvere from. brackishbarracuda do u think u could do it again caepaecaesurae Possibly, though I think my selfie tag could use more less sexual things. brackishbarracuda u oughta take a pic w arlequin oar somefin then how tall efin are u btw pike are u taller than he is oar shorter or caepaecaesurae I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, last I checked. brackishbarracuda well that makes me feel beta at least caepaecaesurae My adult height in sevweral centuries ought to be near wvhere he is nowv. brackishbarracuda yall are entirely too fuckin tall u kno that caepaecaesurae So I hear. If it makes you feel any better, all the humans top out somewvhere in the six or sevwen range I think.  They all look somewvhere betwveen fivwe and six nowv. The carapacians are a foot or twvo belowv that. brackishbarracuda pike im saury i realize u probably hear that alot but i am half a arlequins now hight an he was talkin pike sixteen feet an im overe here pike dude ur gonna b over three times my size how tf is that gonna efin work caepaecaesurae Carefully and wvith gusto. brackishbarracuda aight tru tho caepaecaesurae Havwe you evwer done the thing wvhere you rest hip to hip wvith a partner and pretend theirs is yours and marvwel at the difference? Some trolls enjoy that. I think that one wvill only improvwe as he ages, for you. caepaecaesurae "Look wvhat I'm packing nowv" brackishbarracuda i havent and now im kinda wonderin wtf ive been doin w my life caepaecaesurae You're wvelcome. .. Then again I'vwe used googly eyes in the bedroom before, so maybe my advwice isn't the best. brackishbarracuda bouy nah fuck that im gonna get a pack and use em on dirk that shit is perf caepaecaesurae My partner grewv annoyed and ripped them off, wvhich is honestly all I could hope for. brackishbarracuda tbh hell probably laugh till he cries which i count as a win brackishbarracuda but yeah tbh rippin em off sounds pike a good idea brackishbarracuda u kno me an u oughtta hang out sometide caepaecaesurae WVe should, I imagine wve'd get into heaps of trouble if any wvas avwailable. brackishbarracuda trouble is kinda my thing yeah brackishbarracuda i eel pike youd enjoy some trouble caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, maybe.  It's been a wvhile, and I might be a bit more boring nowv. Nice things, good stories, and good laughs?  Those are dear to heart. brackishbarracuda now sea mr suns out guns out tenta tattoo false boob ampora w the hella scars i aint believe you wouldnt enjoy a little trouble caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a vwery interesting life. I'm relearning howv to enjoy trouble. brackishbarracuda isle sea if i cant think of some baby trouble steps caepaecaesurae Sounds like a treat to me. caepaecaesurae Let me knowv sometime, alright? brackishbarracuda yeah def at the v least ur fun to talk to and anybody i can b a bad influence on is aight by me u feel caepaecaesurae Aye, I hear you It'd be nice to lean back in that direction somenight.  I'vwe been sitting around drinking tea a wvhile. brackishbarracuda s easy to get restless i aint efin alternian and sometides i just need to move and tear into somefin before that somefin becomes me caepaecaesurae Aye. ...I sail a ship around sometimes.  Transport pads to get back to hivwe often. Plenty of wvild lands out there to explore. brackishbarracuda theres plenty a world here to sea if u ever decide u wanna we aint managed a drone yet be in a week oar so probably caepaecaesurae The mile-high deer?  Aye I'vwe a curiosity. I'm relievwed that you're considering the drone. brackishbarracuda im uh considerin more than the drone tbh caepaecaesurae Aye? brackishbarracuda been thinkin a puttin my crown on and meanin it caepaecaesurae Lacking in context, I'm imagining you calling yourself queen of a single hivwe surrounded by largish deer. brackishbarracuda i mean in all technicality i earned the fuckin thing i blew up my planet i killed the empress so by right etc etc blah blah blah i just been runnin from it since brackishbarracuda no u aint wrong i gotta start somwhere fuckin ridiculous as it is if they aint anybody else on the planet isle take it theres a small frozen planet my ex red left me so thats two off the bat ig caepaecaesurae If there's no one else it seems a bit... abrupt. Then again, givwen a single wvorking mothergrub, one is nevwer far from an empire. I suspect Arlequin wvould havwe mixed feelings. brackishbarracuda ive convinced my spade to let me sit w em and do some political diplomatic shit and i aint lookin to be a bloody conquerer im just lookin to stop runnin from what i was hatched for mayb do some decent shit w whatever authority i got somefin betta than home was anyway caepaecaesurae I wvish you luck wvith it if you do. brackishbarracuda thanks 38/ caepaecaesurae It's hard to get in trouble wvhen you're in charge. brackishbarracuda why u gotta do me like this caepaecaesurae WVell... Ask Tyfora howv much fun her powver is. brackishbarracuda id rather naut caepaecaesurae Ask Arlequin howv much he wvants to strivwe for a newv flag -- at least, this early. brackishbarracuda i oughta talk to him aboat it tho yeah caepaecaesurae Powver is complicated.  That's all. caepaecaesurae More so than you might be preparing yourself for. brackishbarracuda i aint trynna rush into anyfin aight an isle talk to arlequin i kno shit aint easy it aint somefin im thinkin aboat lightly caepaecaesurae Then I wvish you luck.  I'm cautious about swvearing loyalties lightly, but you'll likely havwe me on call if emergencies strike. brackishbarracuda i dont take that lightly either cae thank u i afishiate it caepaecaesurae WVe'll see wvhat comes.  I'm afraid it's late though.  Another night? brackishbarracuda a course thanks for talkin at me caepaecaesurae Looking forwvard to it.  Rest wvell wvhen you go. brackishbarracuda yeah sleep good

[ziggydageek-blog]

Scorpio

The days turned to weeks as time always did; the weather grew progressively colder. Here and there I’d catch sight of the large black dog that had once occupied the space in front of my fire, only to turn into the man who occupied the side of my bed that one night. I kept busy, in hopes of keeping the loneliness at bay. November had just started when I came home to find a familiar form. On the top step sat the shaggy dog; my heart skipped a beat, only to land somewhere inside my stomach. “You Came back,” I whispered as I tapped my wand against the lock. Hearing the clicked, I pushed the door, the giant dog pawing it fully opened before allowing me to enter. The bag I held in my other arm contained groceries from the non-maj market I had Apparated to just outside of Hogsmeade. With the wave of a wand and an utterance of a spell, I Magicked them to their proper cupboards. “Witchy enough for ya?” I turned to face where the dog had been, only to be greeted by the still skeletal Sirius Black. He leaned forward on the table, Apple in hand, the crunch reverberating off the cabin walls. “You been practicing that all month, have ya?” He grinned at me. The containment of my joy was a feat I couldn’t tell you to this day how I accomplished; it threatened to break thru the surface at any moment. I spoke calmly, calculated, tho I wasn’t so sure that’s how I came across, “so, I meant to ask you last time, why exactly are you lurking around Hogswarts? That Potter boy is murmured about often here, so I’m gonna go out on a limb here-” Sirius cut me off. “You’re smart, I’ll give you that,” he placed the apple core on the table. “Yeah,” he continued, “Harry’s a part of it.. his dad, James.. he was my best mate.” Sirius looked down at the finish on the wooden table and continued his explanation to whatever pattern it was he had focused on. “But he’s not the only reason; the rat I told you about? He’s up there. Funny thing,” though the tone of his voice told me he didn’t find it so funny, “good ol’ Pettigrew has been living in the pocket of Harry’s best mate.” I gulped, “some coincidence, huh?” Jaw clenched, he shook his head. I seized the silence to ask what had burned since we first spoke, “ so this… Pettigrew, you called him? He’s like… an ACTUAL rat? Or just..” “He’s an animagus too. We all are. Were. Well, besides Lupin. But that’s another story,” he finally looked up from the spot he had been fixated on. “It’s my birthday today,” his signature smirk fixed on his lips. Stunned, i stuttered, “Wow! Well uh, ha-ha ppl birthday!” Unfazed, he shrugged it off with, “I happened upon a paper today, noticed the date. It’s no big deal but it means now I really am 34..” The sentence faded off. Letting the silence fill the cottage for a moment; there was a request bubbling up inside of me that I’d wanted to ask since I realized what he was capable of… “Teach me,” Came out; I hadn’t meant for it to be a command, tho that’s how it felt on my ears. I cringed, then added, “please.” Sirius looked at me, as tho he were evaluating me on a level deeper than I could fathom. “What shape does your patronus take?“ He asked. Slightly Stunned by his response, I froze before I amswreed. It had been awhile since I had used the spell, tho given the environment we were in, it was worth brushing up on. "Expecto Patronum!” I yelled. A white light filled the cabin; from the wisps formed a lynx. When he saw this, a full blown smile lit up the sunken features. “Suits you,“ he chuckled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Simple,” he smiled, “you never know want animal you’ll turn into but a good indicator… but you.. You’re just cat like. Smart, independent; you also get this look in your eyes when you’re thinking like life is one giant chess game and you’ve gotta stay three moves ahead for fear you’ll perish.” My mouth dropped. “You can tell all that-” I let the sentence finish prematurely. Sirius looked at me so smugly, I had to fightback the urge to smack him. “Cheeky,” he winked, as tho he could read my thoughts. Blushing I prodded, “is that a yes?” “Could be,” again, he leaned back in the chair. “What’s in it for me?” “How about I don’t turn you in?” I pushed the back of his chair so that all four legs returned to the floor. Unabashed, he pulled the fronts of my robes, making it so that I looked him dead in the eye. “If you were to uh…‘turn me in’,” he drawled, “You’d already have done so..” he let go, and I wished he hadn’t; my knees had gone weak. Sirius relished in that fact for a moment, before decidedly declaring, “sure. What the hell, right?” My heart again skipped and I shrieked, “yes!” “Remember,” he warned, “this isn’t gonna happen over night. And since I can’t be seen going to the same spot too often, our meetings will remain sparse.” As tho he read my mind, he stated,“ any suspicious activity could be noticed, even if the perpetrator is an oversized dog.” Apparently I did poorly with my attempt to cover the confusion I felt, for Sirius took one look at me and felt compelled to follow up with, “I got into the castle. Halloween night. So 4 days ago now.. safe to say everybody’s guard is up,” he laughed humorlessly. An emotion took over me, one I could only articulate by shouting, “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” Sirius leapt from his spot at the table, his posture like on the defensive. “What, you think you’re the only one here with a past? You think you’re the only one haunted by it?” The anger in his voice was palpable. Stunned, but unwilling to let go of my newfound anger, I argued, “You do realize the differences in our positions, correct?” “OH, YOU MEAN HOW YOU’RE THE DAUGHTER OF THE MOST EVIL MAN KNOWN TO WIZARD KIND AND I’M AN INNOCENT MAN WHO WAS FRAMED 12 YEARS AGO FOR A CRIME I WOULD NEVER COMMIT?!” The words hung in the air; it made it almost hard to breathe. Sirius’s ribcage expanded and deflated beneath the torn robes. It felt as tho somebody had kicked the wind out of my lungs; tears threatened to fall down my face. Finally, I mustered the strength to inform him, “the only reason I give a shit… is because I care.” It was Sirius’s turn to look stunned. “All I meant,” he started, and I could hear how calculated his voice was so as to keep the biting edge out of it, “was that you’re not the only one here who has had something.. shape them. You’ve got to realize, all that I had in that place, all that I clung to, what kept me sane was the- this obsession. And being this close, THIS GODDAMN CLOSE!” His fist met the table. The emotion that had gripped me started to loosen it’s grip. “You were out of line,” I muttered before I turned and went to the room. As a laid on the bed, the tears that I had held back finally burst thru. Between silent sobs, I heard Sirius muttered, “fuck,” beneath his breathe. The legs of the chair scraped the floor and footsteps grew louder the closer he got. I felt the bed barely sag beneath the weight his weight; his hand gripped my shoulder. Even tho it looked frail, the grip he had surprised me. Gently, he ran his hand from my shoulders to the base of my head, then down along my spine. Nobody had ever touched me that way; all I knew was aggression or withheld love… this felt soothing. More than that, it awoke something within me I had never even had stirred. Influenced by this, I turned to face him. His grey eyes stared down at me, brows furrowed, a look of apology painted on every line of his face. “Look,” he started. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve no fucking idea. This is, indeed, stupid, reckless…. but if I’m honest, I suppose that’s part of the appeal.” Again, the hurt surfaced and I heard myself say, “so is that all I am to you? Some cheap thrill?” He barked, his hand making its way to my cheek, where he held it firm as he said, “There is nothing ‘cheap’ about you; the fact is, plain and simple, you’re the only peace I’ve ever known..” he let the sentence settle in. A lump formed in my throat. Swallowing, a tear took advantage of the bodily distraction and fell to where Sirius’s fingers lay. Unfazed, he wiped them gone. “I know what it’s like… the loneliness.. I’ve spent over a decade alone..” he trailed off. He needn’t say more; I more than understood. “Kiss me,” I breathed. He obliged; the hand on my cheek lifted my face so that our lips met. The simple act ignited a flame in me. I needed him, suddenly and ferociously. Sensing this, Sirius pulled me deeper. His tongue parted my lips, and I did nothing to resist. I allowed it to pull my tongue into his own mouth, where he sucked it, creating another level of lust inside of me. The hand that wasn’t holding onto my face found its way inside of my thighs. Unwilling to resist, I allowed him to part my legs. Motivated by this, his kisses become more passionate. His mouth moved down to my throat, his tongue gently licking in circles. I felt as his thumb met my clit; unable to suppress it, I let out a moan. “IS this what you want?” He whispered into my ear. Expertly, he pressed his thumb on my clit, gently rubbing til I could feel it harden. Feeling it too, he looked down, saying , “I’ll take that as a 'yes’,” and before I knew it, he placed his head between my legs. “Oh my God,” I muttered. I had never been as wet as I was in that moment; Sirius noticed. He placed two fingers inside of me. When he pulled them out, he smiled to himself before placing the two fingers into his mouth where he sucked my wetness off of them. My breathe left my chest and before I could catch it, his face was where his fingers had just been. Placing his fingers on either side, he spread open my lips, exposing my clitoris. He picked once, twice, then fixed his lips around it and started to gently suck. “Sirius,” I gasped, completely enthralled. Ignoring me, he continued to suck on my clit, his two fingers back inside of me. I had never felt so turned on in my life. Sirius took note and raised himself to meet my mouth again. Grabbing at his face, I forced his mouth against mine, tasting myself on his lips. “I want to feel you inside of me,” I spoke against his mouth. An excitement overtook him. Raising himself above me, he pulled his robes over his head. As he did so, I ripped mine off entirely as well. Sirius looked down, and smiled. “It’s been awhile,” he muttered as he lowered his body on to me. He was hard and I felt it press against my inner thigh. I reached down, wrapping my fingers as far around it as I could; he was large, indeed. When I closed my hand, it barely made enclosed the circumference. He emitted a low growl as I worked my hand up and down his throbbing cock. “Fuck,” he muttered, eyes closed. His hand wrapped my hair around his fist, while the other had two fingers inside of me. Unable to take it anymore, I told him, “put it in me already, Sirius… please..” he readily obliged. I removed my hand and Sirius took his fingers put of me; he grabbed his dick and rubbed the tip against my clit. I watched him, not wanting him to stop. Finally, he moved his cock down and gently, placed the tip in. He pulled back, then thrusted it in. A moan escaped my lips just as he let out one of his own. I felt every inch of him work it’s way in me. When he pulled back, it slid easily, a testament to my arousal. Slowly at first, he built up a tempo that rendered me speechless. Suddenly, a sensation took hold of me. I felt the tingling intensify and my scalp started in as well. He continued to thrust and it only took a few more moment before the tension erupted. I loaned loudly. My scalp tingled and I felt my pussy tighten around his cock. Following suit, he finished in me, then collapsed onto the bed next to me. “Oh.. my God..” I whispered out of breathe. “Yeah,” he answered, his bare chest rising and falling. “I- I think… you gave me an orgasm,” I looked at him. He turned to face me, a smile played across his lips. Taking my head in his hand, he kissed my forehead, then wrapped his arm around me to pull me in. “I suppose I did,” he whispered to my shoulder blade. “Happy birthday to me.”