#thanks for liking my art bts has helped me improve so much

[aliciaphen]

☆ ALICIA’S MONTHLY MEDIA MENTIONS: JANUARY `23

Hi. School projects have eaten up all my time and I haven't posted on this account. Also, the beautiful women who have recently followed me have been blowing up my notifications and it's been quite annoying. On the bright side, I have a lot of art to post! Here is all the media I consumed in January!

Visual:

Frances Ha (2012) dir. Noah Baumbach. It tells a beautiful narrative of coming of age in your twenties.

Billie and Jean. Another chill, kinda dumb podcast but it's something fun to play in the background. Gives some good laughs.

Titanic (1997) dir. James Cameron. Needed something after watching Avatar TWoW.

Mileage (2022) created by Jennifer Wu (PM) Kym Santiana (PM) Ruyee Lu (PM) Christopher Hsueh Joy Zhou Miranda Li Nicole Taylor-Topacio Ruby Saysanasy Saul Benavides. My friend made a really awesome short film for her 3rd year! Please check it out. The music suits it so well and the story is very exciting!

Cruella (2021) dir. Craig Gillespie. I wasn't going to watch this but Josiah mentioned the same person directed I, Tonya (2017) which I thought was great. I watched with a dog that I was dogsitting.

Goodfellas (1990) dir. Martin Scorsese. A pretty good story. I think the acting in it was great as well. The slurs threw me SO off guard.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) dir. Joel Crawford. I'm so excited for Shrek 5. This was great. Love how Spiderverse is bringing about a new age of animation.

The White Lotus, Season 1 (2021). I'm only watching this for Jennifer Coolidge.

Emergency Intercom - Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips, Ky Newman. It's an every-month thing.

TXT Live at Lollapalooza 2022 (Full Performance) - Tomorrow x Together. Just very upset that they announced tour dates and Toronto wasn't on there.

Fall (2022) dir. Scott Mann. Why would they do that?

The Menu (2022) dir. Mark Mylod. Nice.

Audio: January 2023 Spotify Playlist

Space 1.8 - Nana Sinephro. Love this album SO MUCH.

Animation Happy Hour - Garrett Lewis, Katie Low, Ben Girmann. I'm excited to have found this podcast! I feel like it'll be a good resource in helping me with my future endeavours.

The Whole of the Moon (Fiona Apple cover) - Fiona Apple. Mother. Inspiration.

ATTENTION: MILEY LIVE - I'm so happy for Miley's success and I'm very sorry I was part of the crowd that shunned her post-Disney era. She's an amazing artist and I could listen to her sing rock songs all day.

Time is Way Weirder Than You Think - The Ezra Klein Show. A podcast episode we listened to for class. Confusing and it raised more questions.

Ditto - New Jeans. The girls have done it again.

Don’t Forget My Love - Acoustic - Diplo, Miguel. Fuck the original. This is it.

VIBE (feat. Jimin of BTS) - TAEYANG. Taeyang is so funny. Whenever I think of him I think of that video where he sings thank you and I love you for 2 mins.

Reading:

Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones. After watching the Ghibli film, I wanted MORE.

Sketching for Animation - Peter Parr. A book I have downloaded and have seen the first few pages of. I have yet to really get into it but it also seems like a great resource to improve my art.

Gesture Drawing for Animation - Walt Stanchfield 

What They Don't Teach You at Film School: 161 Strategies For Making Your Own Movies No Matter What - Camille Landau, Tiara White

[tteokggukk]

welcome to my youtube channel → kth

✳ pairing: idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader

✳ genre: fluff, taehyung scenario, stranger to lovers, reader is an artist who posts art videos on youtube

✳ warnings: none!

✳ words: 2.9k

✳ a/n: hello, this is my second bts oneshot/scenario. i just like to write for fun but if you’d like to let me know if there’s anything i can improve on please do so! i’d love to know how to improve. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

You spoke in front of the camera. Sets of acrylic paint were spread out across the table next to a stand that held an 18x24 inch canvas. You were in the middle of making your seventeenth video, a highly requested one at that, and deep down you were ecstatic to start working on the painting.

Never in your life did you think you would ever start a YouTube account. You always considered yourself a very shy and private person, not one to go out of their way and broadcast themselves all over the internet. Your best friends, however, were two very well-known YouTubers and always found a way to include you in their videos and live streams. Somehow people liked seeing more of you, and so you were convinced by your best friends and the audience to start your own YouTube channel.

But you weren't very accustomed to bringing a camera everywhere with you to document and share whatever was happening in your daily life, you found it too awkward and you were still camera-shy, so you decided to create content in a way that would still keep you comfortable while doing something you loved.

An art channel.

Your channel blew up pretty fast. Requests started pouring in here and there. You became known for your very calm demeanor and artistic skills, so you took this as an opportunity to sell your works online as a way to earn some extra money for your future. Occasionally, you'd do lives to talk to your fans and you were happy at the support they showed you, which only encouraged you to keep making videos.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started," you told the camera, mentally telling yourself to insert the comments and messages you got in your DMs to paint this Adonis-like human being. The requests started coming in after you had an Instagram live where you did some quick sketches while playing some of your favorite songs in the back, and people noticed one of the songs you played was by him.

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand"," you spoke, adding air quotes, "I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

You started mixing different colors in your palette and showed everyone the picture for your reference.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

Taehyung watched as you spoke in the video, looking behind you to see a bunch of art materials. The title of the video was left ambiguously, only being named most requested video, leaving him no clue on what it was you were going to create this time.

He's been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he'd subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting.

Because of your channel, he even created an anonymous YouTube account just to leave nice comments on your videos along with a private Instagram account to be able to watch your lives.

Needless to say, he didn't miss that one live where you played the song Winter Bear. It made his whole night, making him sleep with a smile on his face.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started." 

He watched as a bunch of comments started appearing onscreen popping up one by one as they gradually got faster, eventually covering you. It took a moment before it sunk in that he was the highly requested person they wanted you to paint. He paused the video, wide-eyed, before shouting in excitement. Jimin had to come in and check what the whole commotion was about.

"Y/n's going to paint me!" Taehyung exclaimed, his mouth turning into his famous boxy smile. 

"Ah, the YouTuber you really like?" Jimin smiles before sitting down next to Taehyung who continued playing the video, "I wanna see."

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand", I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

"Wow, she seems really kind," Jimin says, while Taehyung only nods, his eyes glued to the screen.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

He felt his heart beat fast when you mentioned his name, and without realizing it his ears have gone all red. 

On screen, you began sketching, "You guys have also been sending me a lot of questions lately, which is why I decided to tweet about doing a q&a."

"What questions did you ask?" Jimin asked Taehyung.

"I asked her if being an artist is something she'd like to pursue," Taehyung told him.

"Ooooh, trying to get to know her," Jimin teases, "Our little Taehyungie has a celebrity crush."

Taehyung rolls his eyes but breaks out into a grin anyway, "I just respect her artistry."

"Right, okay," Jimin snickers, obviously not buying it.

Taehyung knew he was telling the truth, though. It was impossible to have feelings for someone who you only knew through a screen. He found you attractive for sure, but he of all people would know that almost no one is completely one-hundred percent themselves on screen. Genuine as you may be, there are still things that are best kept to yourself. He couldn’t lie though, if given the chance to get to know you, he’d never pass up on that offer.

"Someone asked why I don't use that much ready-made paint," You spoke on screen, "It's ‘cause I learn a lot from mixing my own colors, and also I just really enjoy it."

The painting was beginning to come together halfway through the video and Taehyung's question finally made its way to you. "Kimyeontan95 asks, ‘is painting a career you want to pursue? I love your work, by the way’."

"That was basically I love you," Jimin holds back a laugh, earning him a light punch in the arm from Taehyung.

"Thank you so much, kimyeontan95, and no, painting is just a hobby of mine and a way to earn some future savings. I actually really want to be a novelist."

Taehyung smiled after hearing you answer his question. Later on, the video was over and his portrait was complete. He hurriedly redirected himself to the link that was provided for the auction.

Something in him wanted to have that painting no matter what, so he set himself as the highest bidder and eventually had it mailed to his home where he put your work up in his room to cherish.

A day after your video was posted, you woke up to a thousand notifications from your phone. Hundreds of people were mentioning you in tweets and you had numerous missed calls from your best friends and some texts telling you to check your online art shop. You groggily scroll through your feed, a bit confused as to what was happening.

I wanted to buy this painting and I had it in my list, but now it's unavailable!

Y'ALL WHAT RICH KID SET THE HIGHEST BID TO A MILLION DOLLARS IM CRYING

@yourtwittername are you planning to sell a new collection?

a million dollar bid wtf swownwowksodiowl

Someone just bought all of @yourtwitterusername's paintings. I'm crying in broke eye—

but like what if taehyung set that bid? @yourtwitterusername

What?

I just woke up and my mentions are pouring. What is going on? You tweeted.

Thousands of replies began coming in leaving you feeling overwhelmed and confused on where to start. Everyone was telling you to check your site, and so you did. You felt your heart almost stop beating when you saw that every single artwork you had up for sale were sold out. Nothing was left behind. You checked your emails, and the confirmations were there.

How could this have happened overnight?

ALL MY WORKS ARE SOLD OUT?!?!?!?? WHO COULDVE DONET THIS??? You tweeted, hands shaking.

You felt your heart race, a wide grin that could go even wider if possible was plastered on your face. You tried to stop yourself from screaming in excitement but couldn't so you ended up jumping up and down and doing happy dances before calming down to assess the situation. Finally, you sat down in front of your laptop to see where all your works were being shipped to.

Replies started coming in.

CONGRATS YOU FIGURED IT OUT

WILL U RESTOCK

AHSKWJOA CONGRATS BB

I'M SO HAPPY FOR U

BUT Y/N WHO BOUGHT THEM ALL

Checking your emails, you discover that your art works were all bought by one person. Anonymous. There was no name and someone requested to have their personal information redacted. 

Anonymous? Surely this wasn't a joke?

The person kept their name anonymous. You tweeted and muted the notifications just to allow yourself to focus on finding out who it was that bought everything.

At the bottom of all the removed personal information, there was one username that you were sure you've heard or seen somewhere.

@ Kimyeontan95. 

Underneath the username was a short but sincere message.

"Your videos have always helped me wind down after a long, busy day. I can't express how much you inspire me with your talent and how I wish someday you'd teach me to be half as good as you, as I'm not very gifted in the painting department. I admire how you put your gifts into good things, and I very much idolize you in one way or another. This is just a small way of showing my support for you, but also because all your works are amazing and I'd love to have a small room filled with my favorite art works. I look forward to reading works of yours soon, future novelist.”

Feeling the heat creeping up on your cheeks, you smiled to yourself. The letter was definitely heartfelt and you wanted so badly to thank the person who sent it.

Later that afternoon, you decided to go on live to personally thank the anonymous buyer for buying your works and for sending that wonderful note. You fixed yourself up a little bit and pressed live as thousands of your followers began to tune in.

"Hello, everyone," you greeted, smiling. Replies with greetings started coming in and you couldn't help but chuckle at the eager messages your followers were sending. They truly made you happy.

As expected, several questions began pouring in.

"Right, so, I wanted to do this live because of what happened. As you may have noticed, all my works were suddenly sold out which definitely took me by surprise," you started, "Unfortunately the buyer left everything anonymous. They only left what I assume is a username and a short letter, which I will keep to myself for personal reasons."

@follower1WHAT

@follower2 will you keep selling your works?

@follower3 THATS SUCH A SWEET GESTURE THO OMG/

@follower4 am I the only one who thinks a secret admirer bought it

@follower5 check my YouTube channel I made a theory on who bought her works

@follower6 i rlly think it's taehyung

@follower7 I’'m so proud of you :(((

"If the person who bought all of my paintings is watching this, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the letter as well, you've honestly made me the happiest person on Earth," you smiled.

@follower8 AWWWWW

@follower9 ANON COME OUT

@follower10 i really wanna know what the letter says

@ Kimyeontan95 I'm glad :)

Your heart stopped at one of the replies. You took your phone immediately from its fixed position with wide eyes and began scrolling up fast because of the immediate replies coming in. Wasn't that the username?

@follower11 what's going on?

@follower12 y/n are you okay?

You could no longer find the reply so you set your phone down, fixing it back in place.

"For a second I thought the person who bought it was watching my live," you sighed and smiled nervously, "So anyways— I'd really love to express my gratitude so if they're watching, please contact me. I can't say thank you en—"

Suddenly the replies were frantic. People were sending keyboard smashes here and there. Only a few of them were actual coherent comments. "What is going on?" You asked as you began scrolling through.

@follower13 Y/N CHECK VLIVE

@follower14 TaEHYUNF IS ON LIVE

@follower15 I kNEW IT THOUGH???

@follower16 Y/N CHECK TAEHYUNGS LIVE

@follower5 Y'ALL I WAS RIGHT I SAID CHECK MY YT

Keeping your live on, you grabbed your laptop as fast as you could to check out the links being sent to your live. When it finally loaded, you could've sworn you'd have a heart attack. 

"Oh, I think she's watching me," Taehyung grinned through his live, holding his phone in front of the camera. He quickly shows the viewers his phone screen, which showed your live of you watching him through your laptop. Your eyes widened and you looked back at your phone camera that was broadcasting your live, then back at his live.

Taehyung started giggling, "I guess we're just watching each other, huh?" He smiled. Behind him were packed and unpacked parcels of paintings you recognized were yours. If it was even possible, your eyes grew even wider at this, "Oh my god," you breathed out.

"I should probably introduce myself," Taehyung spoke, "Hello everyone, I'm Kim Taehyung. How are you all doing? Today I’m planning on redecorating my room after our practice. What are the packages behind me? Oh, these are paintings I recently bought."

"Are those my paintings?" You asked out loud, though you knew the answer. 

"Are those my paintings?" Your voice echoed from Taehyung's broadcast as your live was streaming from his phone. He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, these are your works, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," You smiled, "You were the buyer?" 

You mentally slapped yourself for asking such obvious questions, but you just couldn't believe everything that was happening now.

"Yes," he chuckles, "I really love your paintings." Suddenly the sound of Jimin’s voice echoed from behind and Taehyung quickly stood up to lock the door, knowing he’d get the teasing of a lifetime if Jimin came and saw him talking to you.

"Thank you so much, I—" Your voice began to crack and your eyes welled with tears that you tried to fight back, "I really appreciate it. And the letter, that was really sweet."

"No, thank you. Wait, don't cry—" Taehyung spoke nervously.

"I'm just so happy," You laughed while wiping the tears off.

The replies from both ends were coming in like crazy. On one hand, majority of everyone watching found the whole scenario cute and started pairing you two out of nowhere, though there were a few haters on the other. It didn't really bother you, you were just so happy someone you idolized noticed your work.

"I'm glad," he was watching you with a fond smile through his phone, then the sound of the Jin’s voice began coming from outside Taehyung’s room, "Sorry for this sudden grand reveal. I really can't stay on live for too long but I'd love to keep talking to you." He spoke.

"Oh no, that's okay," You spoke fast.

"Do you mind if I send you a message? Assuming you already know the username," he asks.

"No not at all, I'd love to keep talking as well," your heart was beating erratically now. You didn't have to see your face to know how red it was becoming.

"Alright, great. Um, before I end this vlive I just wanna say you're a great artist and to all my viewers watching this, please support y/n's artworks and her channel! If I see any negative comments, I'll be taking responsibility and I'll unfortunately have my agency involved in taking those out," he spoke in a commercial tone kind of voice, "And to y/n, I'll be keeping in touch.” The door from behind him suddenly bursts open and Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook rush inside.

“You were talking to her!” Jimin shouts excitedly.

“Finally!” Jungkook claps.

“Is that why you kept the door locked?” Jin teases.

“Bye, everyone!" Taehyung quickly waves goodbye to the camera and smiles before turning the broadcast off. 

You sat there stunned, almost forgetting you were also on live. You turned to your phone which was still recording you, "That was unexpected."

Suddenly, a notification in your DMs popped up. "I'll go ahead and process everything that just happened now, bye guys! See you in my next video." You ended the live with a wave and smile.

You quickly went into your direct messages and found the same username, Kimyeontan95. You opened it and found a picture of Taehyung holding one of your paintings with a peace sign on his other hand, the other members behind him posing with your other works, making you laugh.

Your heart fluttered at the message below the picture.

I hope this isn't too sudden, but would you like to go out with me sometime?

a/n: hello! if you finished it, thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it hehe. i think i’m gonna keep posting the stuff i write bc i have so many ideas for the other members as well. also this is fun hehe. if you wanna read my other work, let’s fall in love for the night, ← here’s a link! thanks again for reading and please look forward to my future writing/edits.

[btsandvmin]

What made you like Jimin individually and Taehyung individually ? And do you have a slight preference between the two ?

I love all the members so much, and for me picking a bias is still kind of difficult. I have concluded that I do bias both Jimin and Tae but kind of switch between them at different times for different reasons. As for a bias wrecker I legit cannot choose and it changes all the time.

The way I got into BTS was through the BST MV and then trying to learn the members (the first one I learned and checked up on was Namjoon). I also got fascinated by the BU storyline as storytelling and analysis/reviews is a big hobby of mine (the fandoms I’ve been in are many, and character/story analyses/reviews/theories are something I have engaged in a lot). 

On top of that I work in the media industry and have an interest for visual storytelling as well and I got hooked by the concepts, the beautiful MV and the both story-based and symbolical clues they left. I also loved their music and like groups in general because of the interesting vocal dynamics you can create.  Basically, BTS managed to hit all my buttons and I had to look up more.

Mind you, I barely knew the members' names properly and I was already investigating the meaning of their MV and storyline. I listened to their album and loved the songs before I could tell which member was who. (Both Awake and First love made me cry without even knowing the lyrics).  I also have to mention how much I love both of Vmin’s voices, who are both very unique and interesting. I basically biased their voices before I knew who they were. (Fun or sad fact but I am really bad with faces and actually learned the members' singing voices before their faces.)

Let’s just say that I got into the music and visuals/concept first, and then started to consume material to get to know the members. They all also had incredible chemistry between each other and reminded me a lot of one of my favorite j-pop groups with their dynamics. 

What I started to watch was “get to know them” videos and recent interviews and clips, meaning from BST era. It was hard for me to not notice Jimin (even though vocal line were the ones I had the hardest time separating from each other in the very beginning). And perhaps even more so since the introduction videos tended to have a lot better and varied things to say about Jimin amongst vocal line. But even on his own Jimin simply stood out to me during the BST era when I joined. He took a lot of space in the group as a performer (especially with his high notes, his dancing, his hair and his outfits all combined) but also as an individual in off stage material. I fell for his voice and performance and the “Jimin effect” was hitting me hard. 

I also related to him a lot. I am a sort of clingy but shy person who is a perfectionist and likes being in control. I also thought he was both cute and funny without being too over the top with things like aegyo (I mean, we all know he is horrible at it when he tries to do it on purpose). I think the way Jimin is so open (though private) makes him easy to understand and relate to. He has a lot of different moods and there is an honesty in how much he shows us even though he clearly still remained in control.

As time went by, I found myself focusing on Jimin more than the other members and I realized my bias. I was simply drawn to him more than the others from the start. That in turn brings me to Taehyung... Because honestly, at the time it was impossible not to notice their closeness. And looking up a lot of old material, where Jimin was there was also Taehyung. They were very clingy and had a lot of cute interactions. One of the first things I watched of their more off-stage material was also Bon Voyage in Scandinavia (being from there myself I was extra curious) and the Vmin moments in there just cemented their bond for me.

I am not saying I only appreciate Tae for ship reasons, simply that Vmin got my attention early on and that did make me focus more on Taehyung as well. I thought as many that he was a bit odd, but very funny and playful, that he was incredibly good-looking (my opinion from the start was that JK and Tae were the most good-looking) but also a bit difficult to read. Taehyung made me want to understand him, and I was interested in him for quite different reasons than how I related to Jimin. I love him for his way of thinking and how he seems to have this innocence or happiness in the small things about him. Like, Tae getting lost in Sweden but still being happy about the small adventure, enjoying himself and stopping to blow on a dandelion might just be one of the most endearing things I have ever seen. (Honestly, another point I relate to Jimin on so much is his love for Tae and how he just makes us smile no matter what he does.)

Of course, as they change and as I get to watch them more, the more I find to love and appreciate (as well as flaws of course) and now I would say all the members are just very precious to me and I love them both for who they are on their own and for their bond as a group. It is impressive and not to be understated how rare it is to find a bond like theirs. I have seen many groups, and few are as compatible as BTS, and few seem to truly love each other the way they do.

But as for bias it will likely always be Jimin and Taehyung unless there is some drastic change.

For Jimin I love the way he dances while controlling every fiber of his body, the way he pours love into all his relationships but isn’t afraid to call people out, the way he keeps getting funnier (I think Jimin’s sense of humor is so underrated), the way he acts like an angel but actually has the whole world fooled (and he knows it), the way he shows his emotions so animatedly no matter if he gets annoyed or laughs with his whole body, the way he knows his principles and stands his ground when he believes in something, the way he works so hard to improve and better himself both as a performer and as a human, the way he thinks about things deeply and is so eloquent with how to express it, the way he is there for both ARMY, his members and even strangers because he is empathic to his core. There is a lot to love with Jimin, and he always makes sure to return that love when deserved.

For Taehyung I love the way he stand against the norms, the way he shows it’s ok to be different and embrace himself and others without judgement, the way he almost plays with us when he performs, the way he sings with such emotion and how he loves to express himself through all kinds of art forms, the way he learns and take in valid criticism but isn’t afraid to call bullshit, the way he knows when to be serious but also the importance of having fun, the way he is both the biggest dork and a fierce performer at once (I mean he can be so unapologetically silly and then suddenly switch to lethal seduction), the way his unique way of thinking opens up to new points of view, the way he can’t help but show his excitement or love for something and wants to share it with the people around him. He goes all out when he loves something and doesn’t hide his opinions when he doesn’t. Taehyung is just a very honest (though perfectly capable of lying and fooling us thank you very much) and incredible person that I both admire and adore.

There is just so much, and even small things get to me, like don’t get me started on their smiles, or even just their habits when they laugh... (how Tae usually laughs quietly but once in a while will let out these light giggles, or the way Jimin seem to automatically covers his face when he laughs).

I love them both to death (as all the members). It is not easy to just sit down and pour years of love into words, but I tried. I love them both as singers, performers, artists, and humans. I also love them as soulmates and how much they both just spread love and positivity to the people around them. The impact they have had on me, and surely many of you, is hard to comprehend. I am so lucky and happy that I decided to become a fan of this wonderful group and these wonderful people.

Phew, that was a lot wasn’t it? All opinion based, probably a bit hard to understand and not very well structured either. This is all just a flow of consciousness, and I likely forgot to mention a lot of things I could have said. Even so I hope you found it a nice read. :) Thank you for the ask.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Hi Shanna! I really liked how detailed and technical ur dance ranking of twice was--as someone who has no formal dance experience, it was enlightening. Would u mind doing one for bts? Only if u want to of course :)

Hello! I have a few of these in my inbox, so yes! I will do this one for bts (but then I must stop before this becomes my blog LOL). I’ll give the same caveats I gave for Twice, though. 1) Dance is always somewhat subjective because it’s an art form. I can talk about technique, but at a certain point my favorite dancer might not be someone else’s favorite dancer because of performance quality, and 2) ALL OF BTS ARE GREAT DANCERS! You don’t become a professional performance artist without already being head and shoulders above the rest. At the end of the day, all are fantastic. 

NOTE: Please don’t use my words on any other platform/to respond to the boys. I’m posting only to give some insight to their skills, not to try and critique BTS. They have dance coaches, trainers and choreographers for that. They absolutely do not need some random person on the internet telling them what they should be doing.

With that in mind, here are my personal thoughts/loose ranking of bts at dancers:

1. Jimin. Not that I’m biased. LOL but seriously, part of the reason I’m drawn to Jimin is because he’s such a fantastic performer. With dance, a lot of people think it’s just body type which can make or break a dancer. To some extent, this is true. If you aren’t born with amazing arches, turnout or flexibility, there’s only so much you can do to improve. That said, there’s a certain intrinsic performance quality which also can’t be taught. You either have it, or you don’t and Jimin has it. It’s mesmerizing to watch him on stage. He has such fantastic control when he dances; his execution of choreography is flawless, but he also puts his own spin on things without standing out too much (a bad thing, when you’re dancing as part of a group!) Jimin does have a background in contemporary/ballet,  which is different from Hobi. One of the places this is visible is in how grounded Jimin is with his transitions/how he finishes his movements. This is SUPER dorky of me lmao, but one of my favorite moves I’ve ever seen him do is this roll up from the ground at 2:05. The absolute CONTROL Jimin has; his heels don’t move an inch, which is so hard to do. Another impressive move to me was the jump Jimin did in the Dynamite dance break (1:09). Neil Haskell did this freaking move all the time on SYTYCD lmao, and it was a staple “trick” on the dance circuit for years, because it’s hard and requires a gymnast/martial arts background. LOTS of control and complicated timing. I could honestly go on for pages about Jimin’s performance quality, but I’ll stop and say one other thing. I occasionally see people praising Jimin as an amazing contemporary dancer (on par with professional contemporary dancers), and I do think it’s important to clarify Jimin diverged from that path nearly ten years ago to become an Idol dancer. Those are two very different styles of dance and although Jimin is FANTASTIC, it’s okay for him not to be the best at every single dance style! lol he’s the first one to say (because he has, while watching the black swan orchestral video) he couldn’t do some of the things professional contemporary dancers can do. (I will add though, yoongi is also right in that I have full faith Jimin COULD have done those things, had he chosen to pursue that path). ANYWAYS. I’ve rambled enough about how much I love Jimin. ONWARD!

2. Hoseok. Surprise, surprise! LOL okay, so let me start by saying out of all BTS, Hoseok is what I consider the smartest dancer. What I mean by that is, the man never burns out. He knows when to conserve his energy and when to go all out. Hoseok is the master of rise and fall in intensity, and there’s a reason he’s highly regarded by all dancers in the industry. Hoseok also seems to have a choreographer’s mind, whereas you don’t see this as much with Jimin. To clarify, being a dancer and being a choreographer are two separate things. It’s like being a soccer player versus being a coach. Being a choreographer requires a big-picture mentality not all dancers have. Hoseok has this though, and you can see this in the natural leadership role he takes whenever they’re rehearsing on their own. He sees mistakes, fixes transitions, etc. (it’s hot, but I digress). Hoseok has a background in various styles of hip-hop, which is really clear when he freestyles. He’s demonstrated popping, tutting, locking and more, which you really only learn through rigorous hip-hop training. His MMA 2019 solo is WILD because he showcases like, five different styles all within a minute. They’re all sub-genres of a genre (hip-hop), if that makes sense. He doesn’t have the same contemporary background as Jimin, which is somewhat apparent whenever BTS leans into more contemporary styles (spring day, black swan, etc). Hobi is good, don’t get me wrong, but his spot isn’t as natural, he’s not as flexible and sometimes you see him overthinking movements. But anyways, Hoseok fancams are the BEST. Go watch one today.

3. Jungkook. Jungkook has improved SO. MUCH. Y’ALL. I can’t stress this enough! A lot of BTS fans probably remember Big Hit sent Jungkook to LA for a few months prior to debut to get him to loosen up in his dancing/improve his performance quality, and boy did he ever. Overall, I think Jungkook’s biggest strengths are his 1) endless stamina (wtf lol) and 2) lately, performance quality. When I’m talking about stamina, I mean Jungkook always goes full-fucking-out in performances and it catches the audience’s eye. One example which comes to mind was during MMA 2019 Dionysus. If you start at like, 2:10, BTS does this really exhausting floor part and then you see everyone around him conserving their energy as they move into the next chorus. It’s supposed to be a breather in the choreo lmao but Jungkook is FULL OUT. It’s his intensity and strength which really makes him stand out as a dancer. If I had written this a year ago, I would’ve said Jungkook’s biggest weakness is contemporary dance. The flip side of the coin to being strong is it can be difficult to slow things down and display the same intensity with slower music. Then, he went and did Black Swan. Like... just watch this spring day performance and contrast it with this black swan one for jungkook. He has gotten SO MUCH BETTER at staying grounded, moving through his transitions, instead of rushing past them to get to the next step. I’m just really proud of him. I still think hobi + jimin have a leg up on him, but Jungkook is a close third.

4. Taehyung. When you get to Taehyung + Yoongi, things start to get blurry. But since this is a list of my personal preferences, I’m going to put Taehyung first because for me, performance is everything. In my opinion, Taehyung’s performance quality is second only to Jimin. More immature dancers will often refer to performance as “making faces.” I.e., purse your lips on count five, smile on count 8 and frown on count 1. A mature dancer though, knows dancing is really an extension of acting. You need to embody the emotions of the song and convey them to your audience, and not just through your facial expressions! I think Tae does a really great job of this, and I’ll often watch his fancams, even though his dance technique isn’t as strong as say, Jimin or Hobi. That’s Taehyung’s main weakness, in my opinion. If he’d started dancing at an earlier age, or taken ballet/contemporary.... lord, idk LOL. help us all.  

5. Yoongi. THIS MAN! Used to be a b-boy and the background is crystal clear if you’ve ever watched a Yoongi fancam (and if you haven’t, what are you doing with your life?) There’s an effortless quality to his movement and, when he wants to, his strength + performance quality rival Jungkook or Taehyung. That said, I think the main reason I’m not ranking Yoongi above them is consistency. Yoongi, simply put, isn’t a dancer. He’s a rapper/producer who likes to dance and enjoys dancing as part of BTS. I’m not saying he doesn’t like it, but it’s not his main passion, unlike some of the others. His intensity can vary depending on his visibility, which again, isn’t a bad thing. When Yoongi does turn it on, he turns it ON. He’s also very comfortable onstage, which is important. Yoongi doesn’t hesitate in his improv (esp. in his solos or rap line performances), which gives his stage quality a more natural ease.  

6/7. Namjoon + Seokjin. I honestly don’t know who I would put as seventh; it’s hard to pick. And again, I don’t consider either of them to be bad dancers. It’s just when you have a group of people and some have prior dance experience/a strong passion for dance, and some don’t... it is what it is! I will say I think both Seokjin and Namjoon have grown tremendously over the past years. They’ve become so much more comfortable onstage, and it really shows in their performance quality. Sometimes, being confident you won’t look stupid is half the battle LOL. The other thing I’ll say is their execution of choreography is always down pat. You’ll rarely see either one messing up the steps, which means they practice a LOT. Sure, there are areas where their technique could be improved. Quality of transitions, staying grounded through difficult moves, always using their spot on turns... but I think it’s amazing that, despite their lack of formal dance training, they both keep up with some of the above dancers. Like... fuck it up, guys. 

and that’s all! thank you for reading if you made it this far LOL WOO, BTS!

[hisheartsmile]

I'm Fine... Save Me - I (mini series)

Characters: Namjoon, Taehyung

Genre: Angst, fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: anxiety attack, depression thoughts

'Come on, Tae, you can do it,' Taehyung thinks to himself. "Well, I don’t know…" He feels his face hotter than normal. He's pretty sure his ears are bright red. "Maybe... we could cuddle?"

"Cuddle? Wha-" Taehyung interrupts Namjoon. "Please?" His eyes are watery now. He tries hard not to break into tears. God, he hates being so sensitive. "I kinda need it right now." He hates to admit it, but it's true, he craves for some warmth, and not just anyone's.

A/N: Since this fic (and all the ones I've written so far) is canon compliant, I should tell you that this would take place after Namjoon and Taehyung stop being roommates. What Taehyung is going through is 'inspired' by Black Swan and the hardships BTS experienced at the beginning of 2018. Pardon my English and my poor writing skills. Please, enjoy!

***

Taehyung's heart races faster and faster as he walks towards Namjoon's room. He can't believe he's finally doing this, but he knows it's worse to keep his thoughts to himself, or at least that's what he tries to convince himself of - he'll feel better once he tells him. Still, he's so nervous his legs are like jelly. Shaking his head, he tries to calm himself.

Once he gets there, he takes a deep breath and opens the door.

He finds Namjoon lying on his bed, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Besides him, there is a Koya cushion. He looks peaceful and relaxed. In fact, he's immersed in one of his favourite art books so he doesn't even notice Taehyung's presence.

"Hey" says Taehyung finally.

The older rises his head. "Hey, what’s up?" he says smiling, his adorable dimples teasing his cheeks. 'How can he be so cute?' the younger thinks while approaching his hyung.

"Not much, just wanted to hang out with you for a bit, if you don't mind." Taehyung crinkles his eyes, showing off his boxy smile. Mentally thanking his acting skills, he can't believe how much he's shaking.

He can see that Namjoon was not expecting it, because he looks slightly surprised. "Oh, okay." He puts the book in the first drawer, then he moves a bit (dropping Koya on the floor in the process) so that Taehyung can seat beside him. The bed is softer than he'd imagined and, surprisingly, that helps him feel a bit more relaxed.

"You know, since we stopped being roommates I’ve been thinking." There is a pause. "About us." Namjoon knits his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Taehyung is somehow relieved, starting a serious conversation is more difficult than the conversation itself (or at least that's what Taehyung thinks), and he's done it. However, the younger doesn't have enough courage to look at his leader. Fitgeting with his fingers helps him a bit.

"Well, I think we didn't take advantage of it. We only slept and fought. We never watched a movie together or talked about stuff."

The leader remembers that time Taehyung stayed up until 5 am playing games. Even though that night he got angry and had wished he could sleep alone and have some peace for good, the memory warms his heart. "You’re right."

"Do you think we could do it now?" Again, Namjoon is confused. "What? Watch a movie or talk about stuff?"

'Come on, Tae, you can do it,' Taehyung thinks to himself. "Well, I don’t know…" He feels his face hotter than normal. He's pretty sure his ears are bright red. "Maybe... we could cuddle?"

Well, this is unexpected. Namjoon knows the maknae line and Hobi cuddle a lot, but none of them go to him for this. It's not that he doesn't like it, he just doesn't know where to put his hands or what to say... He feels a bit akward. But, in all honesty, saying that he hasn't thought of joining them more than once would be a lie. Taehyung turns to him and, seeing Namjoon's puzzlement in his eyes, he can't help but feel a bit hurt. Well, a lot.

"Cuddle? Wha-" Taehyung interrupts him. "Please?" His eyes are watery now. He tries hard not to break into tears. God, he hates being so sensitive. "I kinda need it right now." He hates to admit it, but it's true, he craves for some warmth, and not just anyone's.

Something in Namjoon's chest breaks. Then, he panics - he doesn't know how to react. What he knows, though, is that he can't stand seeing the younger like this. "Oh, Tae. Of course, cm’ere."

And so they cuddle. Taehyung is now hugging a pillow, staring at the door. He feels Namjoon's breath against his neck, the beating of his heart against his back, the warmth of his long and strong arms holding him tight. He doesn't want this to end, he could stay like this forever. In his arms, it's like nothing wrong can happen. But Tae promised himself he'll talk to Namjoon about everything that's happened.

"Are you cold? You're shaking," the leader asks. "No," he says.

"Well then, what’s wrong?" Taehyung takes a deep breath. "I just... I- I know it sounds stupid but..." 'Oh, God, I can't say it, but- but I have to. Why am I so nervous anyway? It's not that big of a deal... right? Ugh, please, now Joonie must think I'm dumb.'

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Namjoon reassures. Taehyung's heart melts. "No, no. I want to," he says, determined. "It's just that I feel stupid, I don't know why I'm feeling like this."

Namjoon smiles to himself. He knows what Taehyung's going through, he's had the same thoughts more than once.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling things, Tae. We can't control it. Um, would it help if I told you how I'm feeling right now?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Okay. Well, I'm pretty nervous." He takes a deep breath. "Tomorrow I'm going to show Bang PD-nim a new song I'm writing and I'm, I don't know, I'm scared he will reject it."

Namjoon hadn't planned on telling him. He's actually quite surprised at this impulse, because he just said it to reassure Taehyung and soothe his nerves.

"Why? You're so talented, hyung, I love your songs." Namjoon strokes Taehyung's arm with affection, as if trying to tell him that he appreciates it.

"Tae, a lot of my songs have been rejected before, you know that, and every time it happens, I feel a bit more vurnerable. As if they were taking a small part of me. And there is a lot of pressure, considering I'm the leader and so... but I have to work hard either way."

This is something he's never said to anyone before. He's always thought that if the others knew how sensitive their leader is or how hard it is for him to get it right, they would start doubting his writing skills. Would they prefer to write songs with someone else? Would they question Namjoon's decisions? Somehow, he knows Taehyung will understand - not completely, of course, but at least he won't judge him. At the same time, he will keep him down to earth.

"I'm sorry. It must be difficult," Taehyung says simply. But it's all Namjoon needed to hear.

"It is. Well, you know what I'm talking about, right? You've composed quite a lot of wonderful songs as well. The rejections and the difficulty of it all is worth it in the end. Isn't it? Because then it leads to an improved song." Taehyung nods. "Besides, now I'm calm, you're so warm."

Taehyung laughs nervously. His face is definitely red now, he's glad Namjoon can only see the back of his neck.

"I'm very comfy too."

"Do you think you can tell me what's wrong now?" Tae realises Namjoon is being cautious, he really doesn't want to make him feel forced to talk about his feelings. His soft voice brings Tae so much comfort. "I think so."

"Take your time."

Taehyung breathes deeply. It's time. Before saying anything, he closes his eyes and imagines Namjoon's beautiful smile, a smile that sometimes is difficult to look at, for Taehyung wishes it would never fade away.

"I missed you. Well, I miss you." Silence. Oh God, now he wishes he could see Joon's face, has he scared him off? "There, I said it."

But Joon only manages to say, "Taehyung, I- I don't know what to say."

And he's not lying, he really is at a loss of words. It frustrates him, words have always been Namjoon's forte, but now a pain in his chest prevents him from processing what Taehyung just told him. 'He misses me?' He doesn't know what to feel about it.

"It's okay, I just wanted to tell you." says Tae, and without any warning, his eyes start watering again. "Because it's true. I know we still see each other, and a lot. But I actually really liked living with you." Namjoon doesn't want to interrupt him, not only because he wouldn't know what to say, but because he wants Taehyung to tell him everything, now that he's letting it all out. Bottling up feelings is not pretty. "You are very special to me, hyung. I didn't know that before, and then I wasn't sure about what I was feeling."

There is silence. Again. But it's not awkward, not this time - in fact, it feels necessary. Namjoon is giving himself some time and even though Taehyung is dying inside, he notices Namjoon's arms are still holding him, keeping him safe and sound, which makes him feel at ease.

"And now you are?"

"I am." Taehyung hasn't been more sure of anything in his life. What's more, he hasn't overthought about anything more than about what he feels about his hyung.

"Turn around." says Namjoon with a soft voice.

"What?" Taehyung gets cold feet. "No. Don't want you to see me like this."

"Oh come on, Tae. We've seen each other cry too many times."

Tae doubts for several seconds but he deeply trusts Joon, so he faces him. Still, he tries to hide his crying face with his hand. Namjoon gently grabs his wrist.

"Hey, it's okay. Tae, look at me."

"No, I can't," Taehyung refuses, his chin tucked to his chest.

"Tae, I want you to look at me in the eyes when I tell you this." Namjoon's voice is steady.

'Oh no', the younger thinks, 'I screwed up.' He now knows he should have stayed silent. Taehyung shakes his head.

Namjoon holds Taehyung's head high with his hands on his cheeks, and removes some tears with his thumbs. A shiver runs through Taehyung's body, those beautiful brown eyes looking right at him.

"You can count on me." says Namjoon finally. Taehyung's heart skips a beat. "What is wrong?"

'What?' Taehyung is confused. 'Is he kidding? Does he want me to say it again so he can laugh right at my face?' That's what he thinks at first, his anxiety getting the worst of him. But no, Namjoon is not like that.

"What do you mean?"

"There's something else going on, right?"

That hits him hard.

Taehyung's scared, his hair standing on the back of his neck. He's scared because Namjoon can see right through him. Yes, there is something else that keeps him up at night. He'd wanted to ignore it, bury it until it disappeared, until he forgot it had even existed. But Namjoon knows him too well.

"I'm fine." But the leader has to catch another tear that falls on his right cheek, he's weeping now. Namjoon's expression is very serious and he looks worried. Taehyung hates it, that's his fault.

"Please, let me help you. All I want is for you to be alright."

Taehyung refuses to tell him, he can't tell him. "But I am alright," he insists.

"Are you?"

Taehyung's chest starts burning. He tries to stop the tears so that he can look past the window, with the wish of distracting himself with the sight of the snow, the white trees and the Christmas decorations. But somehow Namjoon's words have affected him more than he thought they would, and he finally realises his problem is too big, too heavy for him to endure on his own. Instead of stopping the tears, he starts sobbing.

"No, I'm not. Hyung, I'm not okay," says Taehyung between sobs. "I have all these... these awful thoughts. I can't make them stop. I can't seem to enjoy music anymore. I feel horrible Namjoon, but at the same time I think I'm empty - yes, empty," he clutches his chest. "like there's a void in my chest." He's crying so hard he's basically babbling, the older has to make an effort in order to understand him. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?"

Suddenly, he starts breathing fast, incredibly fast, until he can't breath at all. He's having an anxiety attack.

Namjoon is frozen, he didn't expect this to escalate so quickly and for a moment he doesn't know what to do.

"Tae, oh my God, breath. Taehyungie, please."

But he can't, it's as if there's no air to breathe in. Namjoon sits up straight and helps Taehyung do the same. Then he hugs him, Taehyung's arms lying dead on his sides for he doesn't have strength. "I'm here with you, Tae." He strokes his broad back. "Breathe with me, c'mon." He puts his hands under Taehyung's shirt, feeling the contrast of temperature between his and Taehyung's skin. "Oh God, you're burning. Come on, breathe in."

It takes a lot of effort, but after a few seconds and thanks to Namjoon's words, he can finally take a breath of air.

"Good, good. Breathe out." And they breathe at the same time, Namjoon's hands on Taehyung's back, Taehyung's chin on Namjoon's shoulder, tears falling on his sweater. "Breathe in, breathe out," he keeps saying.

After a while, Tae is feeling much better, and he finally hugs him back. "Breathe in, breathe out."

***

Taehyung wakes up. His head is killing him and he's drenched in sweat. At first, it's all confusion, he's alone in bed, but it's not his. He scans the room, now full of curiosity and -he can't deny it- fear. There is nothing that can serve as a clue until he makes out something next to the wooden chair: a bonsai.

That's when he remembers. Namjoon's puzzlement, his soft voice, his warmth against his back. But above all, Taehyung's anxiety attack. He is, once more, overtaken by panic. 'Oh my God, Namjoon must've freaked out.' He must think he's crazy. What if he told the other members that he doesn't enjoy music anymore? Or worse, what if he told Bang PD-nim?'

He sits up, not sure about what happened after he had the attack. Maybe he fell asleep? Namjoon was hugging him... He looks at his left, where the older was sitting last night, and he sees it.

A folded paper.

Masterlist

[fyeah-bangtan7]

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now”

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain / Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am. 

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

© source

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 44

You begin moving on, but Yoongi is stuck.

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: fluff, angst, idk

Warnings: Strong language, I think that’s it?

|mlist|

<–– Prev  Next ––>

“Idiot. What were you thinking?”

“Oh, come on. Look, it all worked out, right?”

“This wasn’t part of the plan! Now everyone knows who you are!”

“They were gonna find out anyways. I just used it to my advantage.”

“Don’t you realize how careful we have to be?”

“You. I’m safe.”

“Have you forgotten our goal? We need to destroy her.”

“Yeah, but that was so he’d be safe. Haven’t we already won?”

“Not yet. But we will.”

~~~

“C’mon, D. I know you’ve got something for me.”

“Look, man-” D huffs in frustration. “I’m sorry, but ain’t the girl you’re trying to track down dead? It’s been a good month.”

“She’s alive.” Unless the photo is old, or doctored.

“Her phone hasn’t been on in any sorta way since the day she texted your girl. I’m tryin’ to locate her but I’m hitting a lotta dead ends.”

Yoongi bites his lip anxiously. Lisa is the only hold Seoyeon has over him– and the only proof he has that she’s a criminal. If he can find Lisa, Seoyeon won’t have any more leverage and Yoongi will be able to turn her over to the police. He’ll explain everything to Y/n, and finally be set free.

But he can’t do any of that until he has Lisa. 

“Yo, Gloss, hit me with that image description again?” D says over the phone. Yoongi can hear a mouse click several times as he closes his eyes, focusing on the photo in his memory. If only Seoyeon had sent it to him instead of just showing him, it might be easier.

“The walls were white. She was barefoot– her hair was short. Her hands and feet were tied.”

“What sort of knot?”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, thinking hard. “I- I can’t remember. It looked tight, the rope was pressing into her wrists.”

“That’s an oof. Did she look skinny, like she hadn’t been eating?”

“I don’t know, I can’t compare. I never met her in person, I only saw Y/n’s pictures of her.” Yoongi clenches his fist, frustrated that he’s so useless.

“Hey, hey, chill, man. We’ll find her. Now, what color were her hands?”

“Her hands? Uh… skin-colored?”

“Huh.” D pauses– Yoongi’s barely used to hearing his friend not talk.

“What?”

“I mean, you said the knots were tight. You’d think it would cut off her circulation.”

“Fuck, dude, I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t looking. How is this going to help us find her?”

“I mean, I can already tell you that she’s probably not at Seoyeon’s place. There’s no way this chick can keep Lisa at her house without her family finding out, that shit’s just one story.”

“You’re kidding, she lives with her family?”

“Bruh. If she was stalking you enough to get away with what she’s done, do you really think she’d be able to keep a good enough job to afford that place? Nah, man, she lives with her folks and a sister.”

“We don’t know that she was stalking me.” 

“How else did she find Y/n outside of the hospital, then? You tell me.” 

Yoongi falls silent. He doesn’t want to dwell on the possibility that he so directly put Y/n into danger– it’s too destructive a thought. “Whatever. D, I really need you on this. The authorities have been useless.”

D sniggers. “Ain’t that the truth. Look, I’ve got an alert on her number and socials. If she so much as turns her phone on, or tries posting from another device, I’ll know.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, whatever, you owe me a collab.”

Yoongi grins. “Deal.” After hanging up, he sighs, leaning back in his chair. He’s been spending as much time as he can this week in his studio. Even the other members and their antics can’t lift his spirits, not when he has to answer Seoyeon’s constant summons for yet another photo op. And while he’s got her hanging onto his arm, Yoongi can think of nothing other than Y/n. 

He remembers how angry he was when he found out that you’d been an ARMY all along. It seems like ages ago, and yet the sense of betrayal is fresh in his mind. He can only imagine how you’re feeling now… 

~~~

“Miss L/n?”

You stand, taking the well-dressed man’s offered hand. “That’s me, hi.”

“Nice to meet you, you can call me Mr. Park. So, Avery Lee messaged me saying you’re looking to join our agency?”

You nod, fidgeting with the sleeve of your heavy coat. “Yes, until recently– well, I guess you could say I had a freelance manager. I can’t work with her anymore, and Avery said I should sign with an agency.”

“She’s right. Rising stars like you need guidance. So,” Mr. Park says, settling back into his plush leather chair and staring at you from across his desk. “Tell me about yourself. What makes you valuable to FYP Entertainment?”

You swallow. “I’m a third-year acting major at Seoul Arts University. I’ve been an active member of the theatre club and improv club, and competed in Central Seoul’s Improv Showdown twice. I was a featured extra in BTS’s Possible music video. I’ve modeled in Premier Bride Korea and for Beauty of the Seoul’s lipstick line. I recently appeared in a cologne commercial for Fierce, and I was an extra in Medicine of the Heart, a medical drama. Most notably, I play Kim Ji-Woo, a recurring character, alongside BTS’s Suga in Moon Over the Sea.”

Mr. Park rubs his chin. “That’s a long list for a pretty actress who’s never belonged to an agency. And I see an overlap– how familiar are you with Bangtan’s members?”

You fight the urge to laugh; has he not seen the tabloids? “Quite- quite familiar. We’re friends.”

“Just friends?” Mr. Park leans back. “I’ll be honest, Miss L/n, right now the only reason anyone knows your name is as Suga’s ex-girlfriend. Taking you on would be a gamble, and one I’m not sure would pay off for us. I need to know that you’re more than just a scandal– that you’ve got real talent.”

You inhale sharply, but instead of the overwhelming nervousness you were expecting, you feel only determination. They can’t hurt you anymore. “I’m talented. I’m experienced. And I’ll put in the work, sir– I always do. My relationship with Yoongi had no influence over either of my related jobs; I was scouted for the Possible video at a cafe, and Kim Seokjin was the original casting choice for Moon Over the Sea. I can’t deny that knowing Yoongi has helped my popularity, but I got my work, all of it, on my own. Sir.”

Mr. Park stares at you for a long while. “How are your grades?”

You blink. “Sorry?”

“You said you’re a student. How have you been doing in classes? I mean, all this work must keep you from school.”

“Fine,” you say hurriedly. “I, uh, haven’t let it interfere with my degree. I’m very efficient at multitasking.” A little white lie can’t hurt. You’re leaving to film in two days, you’ll check in with your professors tomorrow to make sure you’re good to go.

“That’s very admirable,” Mr. Park says. “And reassuring to hear. We like knowing our clients have the qualifications to continue in the workforce after retiring from entertainment.”

You nod, suddenly shivering at a chill you know isn’t real. 

“Well, I’ve received a glowing recommendation from Avery Lee, who’s worked with us for years. You certainly have more experience than many of our new stars. And a connection, even one like yours, with a group as big as BTS could help you go far. If you, as you said, ‘put in the work’,” Mr. Park smiles briefly. “Then I’d be willing to make this particular gamble, Miss L/n. Will you sign with FYP Entertainment?”

“I-” Yes! “I’d have to look at the contract first, Mr. Park. I’m sure we can negotiate a good outcome, and I’m very optimistic about my future with this agency.”

Mr. Park chuckles. “I see you know how to play the game. Your email is on the form you gave to my assistant– I’ll have her send you the contract today. And, Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I’d stay in touch with those boys– maybe not Yoongi, if your relationship ended badly, but… They have more power than any of us know. If you really want to get big, stick with BTS.”

You furrow your brow. Now that you think about it, it’s been a minute since your last dinner together– after all, you were meant to see them on the night you found out about Lisa’s disappearance. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When you leave the office, you pull out your phone and call Hoseok.

“Yyyyyyellow?”

“Hobi, it’s me.”

“Y/n?” Hoseok’s voice changes. “Uh, what can I do for you?”

“Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to have a Bangtan plus-one dinner again? It’s been a while.” 

“Yeah, um… What about Yoongi hyung?”

You feel a vague burning inside your chest. “He’s invited too, if he’s not busy with his new girlfriend. Our relationship was fake, remember?”

“Ah, yeah, right. How about tonight, then? Come over, Seokjin hyung’s making a souffle for dessert. We can hit a few clubs later? There’s some that are VIP enough that we can be safe.”

You laugh; Hoseok is so good at making you feel relaxed. Still, you don’t know if you’re hoping Yoongi does or doesn’t show. Either way– “That sounds excellent. See you tonight!”

~~~

"What do you want?” Yoongi growls into his phone.

“Don’t sound so grumpy, sweetheart.” Seoyeon’s voice in his ear is like poison. “I just wanted to let you know we’re going out tonight.”

“I have plans.”

Seoyeon giggles, far too happily for such a sadist. “Oh, but Suga-bear, you don’t have a choice! Let’s meet at Club Xyon at ten, okay?”

“I hate you.”

“You’re so silly! See you then. Oh,” Seoyeon’s voice turns dark. “And don’t forget what happens if you don’t show.”

A/N tysm for reading!!! <3

[beetlemancy]

Anon again: Thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to answer me because I am kind of active in the community but very very new. I did know your opinions but being new I just wanted to know whether those recent posts held any weight. I want to be socially responsible with my media consumption and I was worried there was something I was missing, given I have seen specific call outs for certain cast members (Travis, Laura, Sam, and Liam) recently. Thanks again!!

Anon pt2: you don’t have to post this but for context the call out posts were as follows: Travis actively supports the military, Laura voiced a black character?, Sam did brown face??, and Liam is fake woke/virtual signaling (or something along those lines). Obviously I can find out information about this for myself but I have seen more anti-CR stuff lately which prompted my ask.

As with everything, I suggest you do your own reading on those topics, and any topic that comes up in regards to the media you watch. Below is simply my opinion. Note: this gets long.

Travis does support the military - but not as an institution. He has family in the military. He supports the soldiers. He works with Operation Supply Drop and I’d encourage you to look into OSD specifically. Whether you agree with the idea that we should even have a military or not, you cannot deny that our veterans and soldiers are given the short end of the stick. We cannot just abandon them because helping them might be viewed as giving money to the military. I have so many military vets in my disability groups. The VA is awful because it has no funding (I know good people who work at the VA too, but they just cannot help everyone like they’d want to). Programs like OSD are genuinely helpful to a lot of hurting folk and the people who shit on Travis and CR for promoting and helping them out have clearly never actually sat down and talked to a vet or a soldier before. 

Laura and many many other voice actors have voiced people of color in various shows. Yes, this is a legit problem. However, obviously as with most things, the problem is nuanced. The fault mainly lies with the VO industry as a whole, in that actors actually have very little control over what they do. There was a whole strike about this very topic (though the strike covered other issues in the industry as well). In the case of Laura, for instance, she was never told what her character would look like until after the fact. And that is super common in the industry. One of the things they tried to get in the strike was more transparency so that actors could make the decisions themselves whether to voice characters or not - not just based on race or culture but also based on type of work (stressful screaming vs chill dialogue) and whether the content of the game itself was something they wanted their name attached to. 

Sam’s blackface scandal is extremely old news. That’s not to say it isn’t important to note, and in fact Sam made a point to note it again back in 2018. I know people who can’t watch CR because of it, even after his apology, and that’s fine because its not my place to judge others for how they react to that kind of thing. However I know a lot of people who read his apology and the circumstances surrounding it and decided to forgive. To some people, the fact that he was asked to do so by will.i.am changes the situation. To others, it doesn’t. To some the fact that he apologized and has clearly worked to improve his behavior matters, to others it doesn’t. You have to decide that for yourself. You can read Sam’s letter HERE. 

Now. Regarding Liam. * sigh * I think, and again this is my opinion, that you cannot proclaim someone you do not know as ‘fake woke.’ I think there are parts of this fandom that have it out for Liam because of a whole bunch of gross reasons, many of which I’ve spoken about before. He is sensitive and a man - that makes people uncomfy. He plays a lot of women characters and tends to embody them in both personality and body language - that makes people uncomfy. He fully embraces the bi energy (this is not to say whether he himself is or not) - that makes a lot of people uncomfy (and angry). He loves theatre and loves to explore the human condition, warts and all - that makes people super uncomfy. Now. There are people who thinks he’s homophobic. Do you know why? Its because his bi character ended up with a woman instead of a man. That is biphobia, no matter how they twist it. Bi people being “allowed” to be bi and not ‘pick the right side’ in the LG (not BT, lets be real) community IS revolutionary because its so very hated. 

Another reason they say he’s homophobic is because of the jokes he is often involved in - some gay men in the fandom believe that joking about sex is him ‘making fun’ of gay relationships. As a bi enby, I disagree, and I read many of the jokes he himself makes as the kind of humor I use among my own friends. I think there is a definite disconnect between bi vs LG humor and I’m not entirely sure who would be considered in the ‘right’ on that. However, when LG people in the fandom claim that he cannot talk about gay relationships because he is cishet? They cannot know that. That is an assumption they are making. When LG fans say that he alone is responsible for this issue and not -literally every single member of CR- ? I have to question whether its really the issue and not just that they still hate Liam for deigning to make a bi character bi instead of gay.

Another thing re: Liam. Aside from Marisha, he is the one I see the most hate about. People on Twitter and Tumblr both have legit uttered death threats about him if he doesn’t do exactly what they want his characters to do in the game. Usually this is about shipping. I have seen people claim that they WISH he was ‘like vic mignogna’ so they’d have a reason to hate him more. I’ve seen a certain group of people and one in particular say they have ‘dirt’ on him but refuse to say what the dirt is - and yet continually bring up that it exists, but that they just cannot say. Why would you incessantly bring up information you possess just to say that you cannot divulge such information? 

Legit issues about CR that is attached to Liam is the whitewashing issue. Some say that only Liam is responsible here because he controls all the art. I would say that we actually don’t know that for sure. He is ‘Art Dad’ and clearly has some pull. I do think that CR should address this issue, but I’m not sure they can legally do what the fandom wants them to do, which is “call-out” artists by name and denounce them. Now, this too is more nuanced than the fandom makes out because its often way more about colorism vs whitewashing. Many people do not draw Beau as white, but they do draw her as much lighter skin tones than her original art. Colorism is a real problem, but white allies tend to go about talking about it wrong or making smaller things a bigger deal when POC would really rather talk about something more important to them. It was these same white allies that tore Mica Burton apart on Twitter because she liked and enjoyed a drawing of Reani, her own character, that was a few shades lighter than the drawing she herself had brought in, even after she had said that she appreciated the variety of skin tones due to seeing herself in each of them. On the topic of whitewashing/colorism in the fandom, I personally tend to wait to hear from POC over the masses of white allies.

The CR fandom is very big for a niche thing like DnD. As such, there are many many corners of the fandom that can get really jaded, really dark, and really up their own ass in regards to the discourse. There are legitimate issues in the fandom and with CR as a whole. Nothing is perfect, nothing ever will be perfect, and people should absolutely do what they can to do better and to ask their media to do better. That being said, there are also people who think that if you don’t do something exactly like they want, then you’re Problematic by default. There are also members of this fandom who have an active vendetta against certain cast members and will use any opportunity to co-opt legit issues in order to shore up their false arguments. These people are only using the real issues and it becomes clear pretty quickly that they don’t actually give a shit about the people they say they are trying to speak up for. 

There is also some fandom drama that has occurred ONLY in fandom and has absolutely nothing to do with CR other than the fact that the people involved happen to be CR fans. Certain people in the fandom think that CR should arbitrate this issue and involve themselves, call out the individuals responsible, etc. This is, I believe, a GROSS misconception of what CR’s role is and asking way too much of a source of entertainment. The fact that CR has not involved themselves in this issue has led certain members of this fandom to claim that CR is homophobic. I would caution that most callouts of CR as homophobic are directly linked to this first issue, and also a callback to the Vaxleth drama from campaign one, and is incontrovertibly tied to bi and enby-phobia and a seriously sick misunderstanding of the responsibilities a show has versus the responsibility individuals have as viewers of said show. 

That’s it for now. I could go way more in depth on this problems, but I’m tired of typing. Suffice it to say, its easy to make a list of things Problematic with CR, but once you actually delve into each topic hopefully you’ll realize how complicated and filled with nuance and Different Opinions going on back from the first episode of Campaign One... Listing problems without actually addressing them head-on isn’t a good way to deal with the problems that are true anyway, let alone tell them from the false ones. 

[vanaera]

Love at First Snow (jhs)

Synopsis | It is during the first snow Hoseok first meets Y/N. It is also during the first snow he prepares to put a ring on her. Little does he know, fate has other plans. (OR: As Hoseok relishes in the spirit of the Holiday season, he cannot help but also reminisce how you two, though entire polar opposites of each other, ended up together. Characters | dance major (and “academically-challenged”)!Hoseok x Genius!female reader (College AU) Prompt | “You know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Genre | Fluff, Humor, Angst Wordcount | 16.9k (I’m sorry, this ended up longer than I intended) Warnings | Discussions of verbal abuse from toxic families and mentions of panic attacks A/N | Hi Cristine! It is I, snowflake, your secret santa! This is my gift for @bts-poetry for @bangtanarmynet, and @btsbookclub ‘s Secret Santa 2019 event! I combined this gift with the prompt I claimed in @kwritersworld’s 2019 Christmas Event as my inspirations for both events have merged into one story hehe.

              Everyone has some titles to live by. “Well-versed lawyer,” “patient teacher,” “single mother,” “broke student”—one-liner characteristics and descriptions enough for people to summarize the entirety of one another. From each other’s greatest achievements to their itty bitty mistakes, any of them can be used to replace an identifier. After all, people always see what they want to see. It all depends on what title sticks out the most to the majority around them.  For Jung Hoseok, he lives up to the title of a lovable boyfriend and a rare one, too. As whenever people look at him, the first thing they see is the aberrance of how he ended up….dating Y/N.

              There’s nothing wrong with him, or Y/N for that matter. It’s just…they are the most impossible couple to end up together as they are the most literal polar opposites of each other.

             People remember Jung Hoseok as the golden dance major of the prestigious South Tigers University. He got into the Performing Arts program, Major in Dance by acing the laborious dance audition despite his unimpressive results in the written exam. Hoseok’s colorful background from his long-term dance crew, Hope World, and his countless wins in different hip hop dance competitions were more than enough proof to know he is indeed one of the top dancers of the university. With a body capable of executing each move ever known to humankind with such grace and precision, Jung Hoseok also has a stage presence that warrants everyone’s unbridled attention. Thus, it is without question he is the prided Most Valuable Dancer of his university’s varsity dance crew, Synergy. The long line-up of trophies Synergy has placed in STU’s hall of glory, all thanks to the competitions Hoseok led, are enough to say Hoseok is literally the modern-day Apollo.

             However, it is not just his talent or insanely god-like face and physique that makes Hoseok so “golden.” Because as if Apollo wasn’t enough, Hoseok also impersonated Helios. Jung, Hoseok is warm and kind and funny. He easily makes everyone want to be his bestfriend the moment they met him. Most people often speak of him first thing in the morning with another wonderful feat he pulled off. Hoseok is great in the things he does — playing as the great wingman for people who need the extra push in their romances or becoming the occasional teacher’s pet who goes to the professor and (easily) successfully convinces them to give the class a deadline extension for a requirement. Hoseok turns up every campus party into the happiest event anyone could ever be in and he is such an amazing, sincere friend who remembers everyone’s birthday and gives out the nicest of hugs. Hell, Hoseok even volunteers in long-inactive “dead” college organizations like the Campus Drunk Patrol, Environment Protection Squad, and Animal Welfare Group in his free time. Hoseok is the literal sun and anyone who knows him — which is literally, everyone — will never be unable to deny otherwise.

             So when Hoseok expressed romantic interest in Y/N in sophomore year, everyone around him was beyond bewildered. Most especially, his friends.

             “Y/N?” Jimin sputters, “as in…The Y/N, L/N from our batch?”

             “Well, yeah-”

             “Like the Analytical Physics major Y/N L/N?” Taehyung gapes.

             “Yeah, I mean,” Hoseok sends them a questioning look, “is there any other Y/N L/N?”

             Taehyung scratches his head. “Well, no…I just thought there’s a Y/N in another batch?”

             Hoseok gives him a pointed look, unamused.

             But Taehyung’s true sentiment is voiced out when Jimin half-screams at their table, “Why her?!”

             “Well, why not her?” Hoseok half-smiles, picking on the fries that were dropped scattered onto the table after Jimin unceremoniously pounded his fist on the surface in an act of over-exaggeration.

             Taehyung sends Hoseok a disgusted look but continues his friend’s argument, “Dude, she’s like, the entire opposite of you.”

             “And that is an understatement.” Jimin points a fry toward his direction, glaring at Hoseok.

             Hoseok huffs, “Oh c'mon, you’re all just going overboard. What happened to the golden rule ‘don’t judge a book by its cover?’”

             “First of all, Y/N’s not a book,” Jimin scoffs. “She’s like, the whole fucking library of science textbooks. Last sem, we’re busy doing a group project when Y/N suddenly spewed some SOHCAHTOA shit about the Bermuda Triangle. As if the things she said are already a whole level of weird, she even said them in a manner like Liam Neeson’s ‘I don’t know who you are but I’m going to kill you’ monologue from Taken. And second of all, the golden rule is ‘do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you,’ dumbass.”

             “Okay I got the golden rule wrong,” Hoseok groans, “but nevertheless, you’re still violating it by judging Y/N.”

             “In our defense tho,” Taehyung mumbles over the straw of his milkshake, “Y/N judged us first. I was watching Orange one time in the library and she came over and took a seat with me. And then she said some alien gibberish about how Naho Takamiya always fall stupidly on the stairs because she said, by verbatim, ‘according to basic logic and common sense, that’s not how projectiles work,’” Taehyung clicks his tongue and Jimin cringes. Taehyung continues, “Y/N said Naho wouldn’t fly to the hallway when she tripped on the actual steps. She even actually drew a diagram with computations of Naho’s fall and gave it to me before she abruptly got up and go. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and insulted both at the same time.”

             “And,” Jimin adds, “last December, I shared a meme on Facebook about turning on your brain instead of your heart this coming 2017 and guess what she did? She commented below “guess, you’ll just die of heart failure before 2017 even comes.” Jimin rolls his eyes, “She made me feel dumb as if I don’t know how heart failure works. So us judging her back is just fair and square.”

             “But you don’t actually know how heart failure works,” Hoseok retorts. He glares at Taehyung, “And dude, to be honest, Orange is overrated and Naho really flies whenever she trips, or gets tripped, on the stairs.” Hoseok throws up his hands in annoyance. “Seriously, are you two judging her for just…I don’t know, being smart?!”

             Taehyung sighs. “Okay, that’s a bit true, but the thing is, Hobi, our IQ levels are already a bit higher than yours—”

             “What’s that got to do with this?!”

             “—And if Y/N’s already treating us like the biggest idiots of the world,” Jimin continues Taehyung’s words, “then what chance do you have in having a decent conversation with her? Much less a more fruitful one that could end up in a romantic relationship? There’s like a 99.9 percent sure-ness she will make you more of an idiot than us!”

             “Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Her thoughts are composed of quadratic formulas and science shit like ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ While I’m not even sure you know what DNA stands for.”

             Hoseok gawks, “Of course I know what DNA stands for!”

             “Then say it,” Jimin cocks a brow.

             “Dual Nucleus Association—fuck, why am I even doing this—” Hoseok glares at his friends, “What do you take me for? An imbecile?”

             “Well, yeah,” Taehyung says honestly.

             “That’s why right now, we’re telling you to drop anything you’re feeling in that,” Jimin points to Hoseok’s chest, “for Y/N. Hell, how will you even click together? Y/N’s allergic to nonsense and emojis and your daily vocabulary is entirely nonsense and eggplant emojis.”

             Hoseok opens his mouth to argue he also knows about the clown emoji but before he can utter a word, Taehyung beats him to it.

             “Dude, we’re not telling you this to insult you.” Jimin snorts and Taehyung closes his eyes before he looks again at Hoseok’s eyes, “Okay, maybe we’re enjoying teasing you a little too much. But we can say this is just payback for you not letting us go home earlier yesterday because you said we ‘need improvement’ which I damn well think not, bitch.” Hoseok squirms and Taehyung claps his shoulder hard, making him wince. “Anyway, what we’re trying to say, Hoseok, is we just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

             “How will I get hurt?! Nothing’s happened yet. I’m just saying I like Y/N—”

             “That’s what we’re worried about, Hoseok,” Jimin cuts him. “Nothing’s happened yet but we know something already did.”

            “Like what?”

            “You like Y/N. That’s the problem,” Jimin deadpans. “Hoseok we know you like to take relationships seriously. We even know that when you set your heart on a girl, your imagination is already two steps ahead, playing your wedding in your head.”

            Hoseok gulps, a guilty sweat forming on his temple.

            “But you see, Y/N belongs to that type of people who have their what-will-you-be-in-10-years solidly planted in their heads. And it’s highly probable a relationship, much less a wedding, is written in those 10-year plans. Much more, art majors like us are stigmatized to bound for failure because society is still close-minded and deems art won’t feed us. And by the meaning of society, it’s the ‘almighty and noble’ science folks Y/N belongs to. For God’s sake, there’s a lot of movies that have already forecasted science and art don’t mix!” 

            “Well, I don’t remember any movies—”

            Taehyung looks at Hoseok, incredulous. “Dude, there’s like The Theory of Everything—”

             “That’s science and faith!”

            “Stephen Hawking’s ex-wife sang in a choir. And she also started writing after their divorce! So that’s still art!”

            Hoseok was about to retaliate when he feels Jimin clasp a firm hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. Jimin sighs, “Hoseok, we just want you to not regret your decisions in the end. Y/N belongs to those snobbish high-hat people who treat everyone below them like dirt. There’s plenty of other girls out there who are much nicer than Y/N. Nice just like you. For one, why don’t you try giving a chance to the girls who’ve been crushing on you since freshman year? I know a few and they’re actually sweet. Just anyone who’s not Y/N. Seriously, just trust us on this, Hobi.”

             Except Hoseok does not. If there is one characteristic to describe Hoseok other than nice and talented, that would be his hard-headedness. He didn’t listen to his parents when they tried to discourage him from taking dance as his major. Hoseok disregarded numerous peers’ suggestions to join a frat so he can “shine more.” He even disregarded the toxic masculinity fraternities promoted by rocking pink overalls with his sparkly ugly sneakers and multicolored acorn pouch (which Jimin told him was the bane of the entire fashion industry) at least once a week. He even changes it up with other colorful ensembles the fashion students make. Hoseok did not even listen to Taehyung when the former told him not to drink before taking their finals in World History because, "no Hoseok, the alcohol does NOT bring back memories.���

             And look where his stubbornness got him. Hoseok became one of the greatest dancers his university has ever handled. His sole talent is enough for him to get invited to teach classes in several prestigious art colleges in the country. Hoseok gained more fulfilling and growth-inspiring friendships than surface-level ones offered by frats. He enjoyed more substantial conversations than booze temptation and toxic, trivial fights over games and girls. Hoseok even accidentally created a modeling career with local brands after his viral modeling of a peach acorn-inspired outfit for the project of his fashion major friends. Although him disregarding Taehyung’s reminders was a big mistake as he totally flunked World History, that night actually made Hoseok learn his lesson not to drink before the finals (and also because he learned the alcohol does not bring back memories he actually needed for the exam. But memories of his most embarrassing moments — like the one where he ended up performing in a children’s party as a fairy godmother—complete with the rainbow gown, fairy wings, plastic crown, and wand—because he mixed up the location of the college’s Halloween party with his friend’s family get-together).

             So, why would Hoseok listen to Jimin and Taehyung when setting his eyes and heart for Y/N feels like the most right decision he has ever made in his life? Especially when Y/N’s nowhere the high-hat snobbiety concept Jimin put her in. Hoseok is sure about this because he started to see and know her more than anyone else could after the fateful night of the Science Majors’ last year’s Christmas party.

             “Is that Y/N?” Hoseok squints his eyes. The person walking towards him is clad in a black coat and indigo satin slip-dress that falls short on her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess and her small glittery satchel is slipping off her shoulders even if she adjusted it again and again. Not to say she’s also limping on her two-inch silver heels. When the girl raises her head and sees him, her face falls into an annoyed scowl. Hoseok right then confirms it is aberrantly, and shockingly, Y/N. At the sight of recognition in his face, Y/N immediately runs away in the opposite direction. Hoseok finds himself already chasing after her before his mind could acknowledge that he is actually running after the campus’ excruciating goody-two-shoes in the ass'o clock of the night.

             Hoseok easily catches up to Y/N. He blocks her way, causing her to halt. Hoseok hunches as he breathlessly puffs, “Hey Y/N, why you so fast?”

             “No-none of your business Jung Hoseok,” Y/N turns away from him and crosses her arms. Hoseok almost smiles. It is amusing how she effortlessly pulls her usual “intimidator stance” even in such a weird scenario.

             “Well, it is my business if you’re wandering on campus grounds in the night and obviously not sober.”

             Y/N whips her head towards him, “I am sober. What are you even here for?”

             “According to my eyes, you’re clearly drunk. Look,” Hoseok points to her face, “you look red all over and you can’t even look at me straight.” 

            Y/N slaps his hand away. 

            Hoseok puts his hands back in his pockets, “You’re clearly doing some beautiful eyes challenge right now.” 

            Y/N cringes at him but Hoseok continues, “And for your second question, I’m patrolling for the Campus Drunk Patrol.” He smiles and points to the logo on his jacket.

             Y/N leans forward and squints at the logo. Seeing her raised brow, Hoseok explains, “We aim to help drunk students sober up before commuting home. We can also escort them to their dorm facades and notify their RAs to come and get them.”

             Y/N still has her brow raised, skeptical. Hoseok sighs, “Well, it’s a dead org so I understand why you don’t believe me. If I also learn some org that’s been inactive for five years has suddenly gone active, I will be skeptical, too. But trust me on this, okay? I’ll just walk you around until you’re sober enough to know how to go home. I heard you’re dorming here. I can help you get to your dorm if you want.”

             Y/N still looks unconvinced and Hoseok releases a sigh again. He juts his thumb and points to his back, “We have our Patrol Marshal stationed there by the campus gates. He can totes see us here and tell you’re one of the stubborn drunk students who refuse to cooperate with our protocol.” 

            Hoseok smugly puts his weight on his left foot.“You can refuse and go ahead. But because the marshal doesn’t let drunk people he already caught go home, he will notify the head RA and trust me when I tell you I’ve seen a lot of students end up in bigger trouble for not complying with our joint protocol with the RA Council. Or,” Hoseok smiles, “you could just make our lives easier by letting me help you sober up.”

             Y/N looks away, gnawing on her lip. When Hoseok hears a faint “fine” come from her, he has to keep his jaw from hanging open.

             Because, why wouldn’t he be flabbergasted?

             Y/N L/N, the fearsome Analytical Physics major, is not the sweetest star out there. With a resting bitch face, innateness to give cold replies, gift of the perpetual judging stare, and insensitivity to joke cues, Y/N is one of the hardest people to cooperate with. It is not entirely because she does not put in any effort. No one just found it easy, or tolerable even, to interact with her. Sure, Y/N’s smart, a genius in Hoseok’s eyes. However, what stuck to everyone’s memory is how she unconsciously belittles everyone around her. Y/N gives out unnecessary run-throughs of chemistry concepts about any movie or animation brought up in a conversation. She instantly goes grammar-nazzi on anyone who slips on the rules of English grammar, especially when people make errors concerning the Oxford comma in their papers. She even goes out of her way to explain to her fellow students the physics of how and why they drove or parked badly with their bike or scooter.

             But the pinnacle of Y/N’s negative reputation has to be her merciless removal of her senior’s name, Oh Sehun, from the case study required in Communication Media Theories. In her very first year in university, at that. Although her action is justified as Sehun did not contribute anything at all in the group project, this name removal caused outrage among every college student. Sehun, who is actually the college’s renowned quarterback, graduated late and was now behind of his original team who already got into the professionals. All because of Y/N. Hence, the people in the university have started to associate her name with the title “stuck-up-iest bitch to ever walk on Earth.” Some don’t even seem to remember her name. All everyone knew is that Y/N’s one hell of a condescending bitch.

             So having Y/N walk silently by his side, cooperating for the first time without reciting her rights based on the constitution with such accuracy in verbatim while passively and implicitly insulting him, Hoseok cannot help to be so shocked.

             Noticing the complete silence that has surrounded them two, Hoseok breaks from his trance and leads Y/N to the college’s cafe. It’s already closed, given the lateness of the night, but it has their outdoor metal chairs set-up outside. He lets Y/N plop down on one of the metal seats as he produces a coffee-in-can for her.

             “Do you just casually carry around canned coffees with you?”

             “No, just when I am on duty for the patrols. Caffeine is the best way to help people sober up fast.” Hoseok inserts an edible straw for her and she grabs the drink.

             “I don’t think so,” Y/N mutters, “Human body processes consumed alcohol on its own, thus, it’s processing speed is neither affected nor aided by any exterior substances. With this, there’s no such actual thing as 'sobering up fast.’ It just feels like that because caffeine is a stimulant and hence, counters the sedative effect of alcohol, making you feel alert and appear to be sober.” Y/N takes another sip, “Nevertheless, thanks for the free coffee.”

              Hoseok almost gapes. The people were not kidding about how Y/N casually spouts science shit wherever she goes. Although he’s supposed to get tipped off, Hoseok just finds this set-up oddly amusing. He leans forward in his seat and props up his arm on the table to cup his face. “Anyway, why are you out in the late of the night?”

                 Y/N gives him an unamused look, “Because I was obviously partying. Is there any other party in the campus right now than the Science Majors’ Christmas party?”

              “You’re right,” Hoseok chuckles, “but what I mean is, why are you already outside? The party doesn’t end 'til 2 A.M.”

              “I just decided I want to go home.”

              “Why?”

              Y/N drops her drink on the table, “Are you just gonna ask me 'why’ everytime?!”

              Hoseok tilts his head and smiles, “Talking with drunk people is part of our protocol in sobering up. So, yeah, I’m gonna ask why every time until the redness on your nose and cheeks subsides a little.”

              “Fine,” Y/N hisses. She gives Hoseok a steely glare, “This night is the first time I’ve done something so stupid such as going to a party in an attempt to expand my connections. It turns out everyone still irrationally hates me about Oh Sehun’s name removal and they refused to interact with me. They kept sending me glares  while I just pathetically stood in the corner of the room for the duration of the party, dumbly holding a cup of some alcoholic drink I just realized 30 minutes ago was what you call ‘spiked.’ These pretty heels I wore hurt my ankles and toes all for nothing.” Y/N covers her face with her palms, “God, I don’t even know why I’m opening up about these things with you when it’s just the first time I talked with you. Maybe it’s just because I’m just drunk, god, it’s so stupid–”

              “It’s not stupid,” Hoseok interjects and Y/N raises her head from her hands. Hoseok smiles, “When there’s too much alcohol in our system, we get to do stuff we never knew we can. And sometimes, they are things we really desire to do but dare not let out in the open, afraid of what others may think. And it may come off as stupid as you’re letting your heart do the talking instead of your brain. But you know what? You have to be stupid sometimes to acknowledge what your brain may be missing out on. Plus,” Hoseok stretches open his arms wide, “there’s just the two of us here so no one can really judge you because hey, I’m just all ears here. After all, I’m just an officer of the Campus Drunk Patrol helping you sober up.” At the sight of Y/N’s pursed lips and eyes set on the coffee beside her, looking as if she’s convinced (and it looks like it’s not like her to admit it), Hoseok smiles wider and leans forward. “Now, back to your story. Why did you decide to go to a party?”

              “Because,” Y/N sighs, “I don’t know, @keanu_reeves_is_the_real_daddy from Hoboken said in Reddit that going to parties is a great opportunity to make friends.” Y/N looks down at her hands and interlocks them, “I’m just–I’m just desperate to get some friends. I’m already in second year, and still, no one wants to be with me. I often talk about how I don’t care whether people like me or not. Most of the time, I really do not care at all. But sometimes...it also gets lonely when you feel everyone seems to hate you.”

              “Well, I’m not everyone.”

              Y/N looks up at him, frowning, “That’s a great joke, Hoseok. I saw you hanging with Jimin just yesterday and I heard my name as the subject and "stick-in-the-ass bitch” as the predicate in a couple of sentences.“

              "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but it was just Jimin who talked bad about you. Did you hear me say your name and 'stick-in-the-ass’ in one sentence?”

              Y/N glares at him. She then rips her gaze away from him to set them back on her interlocked fingers. “What are you trying to imply, Hoseok?”

               "I’m trying to imply, if you want to have a friend, I’m willing to be one.”

               "But you already got lots of friends.”

               Hoseok smiles, “That doesn’t mean I have no room left for one more.”

              Y/N gives him that skeptic look again and Hoseok snorts. “Hey, I’m being serious here. I really want to be your friend if you’d like. And no, it’s not because I pity you.” 

              Y/N raises a brow at him in disbelief and Hoseok purses his lips. He raises his hands in surrender, “Ooohkay, maybe like 0.001 percent I do, but 99.999 percent I just don’t like how everyone hates you for something that is not actually your fault. I really want to get to know you if you’d let me.”

                 Y/N just stares at him and Hoseok, for the first time in his life save for the days he’s answering written exams, has literally no idea what to do. Is Y/N angry at him for blurting out those things? Or is she aggravated he seemed plastic? But Hoseok knows he meant every single thing he said because first and foremost, he cannot lie even if he wanted to. He’s a goddamn horrible liar that anyone will know he’s lying before he can even start to lie. Second, he always says the first thing that comes to his mind because, in the majority of his life, he is incapable of thinking first before doing something. And third, Hoseok really meant what he said. He’s always been curious about Y/N. Jimin and Taehyung always talk ill about her and from the numerous negative shits he hears from them, he can’t help but think that maybe, her reputation is just one big hell of a rumor. It’s just impossible that so many rumors and negative comments about someone who he rarely sees outside the university, to be true. 

              Hoseok knows because he also has his fair share of rumors he has struggled to disprove. Like how he “cheated” in dance contests because no one can’t believe someone is just so exceptionally talented that they can win every single competition they join. Or how he “slept around” with almost half of the female population in the university just because he has lots of female friends and he loves to joke around with eggplant and saliva emojis in his texts. It’s hard to be contained in such one definitive title, much more a heavily negative one. Hoseok knew what it felt and it feels it’s just wrong to stay as a standbyer while the entire university jeers on Y/N for such a trivial reason.

              “Do-do you really mean that?”

              Hoseok looks at Y/N and nods. “Yes, I do.”

              Something wet drops on his jacket and Hoseok looks up at the sky. The sky is pitch black, save for the white inklets dotting the atmosphere, lightening up the dark horizon along with the glow of sparkling snowflakes. He turns to Y/N and smiles, “Oh look, it’s the first snow.”

              Y/N returns his smile this time. She tells him she wants to stay for ten more minutes to appreciate the snow before going home. Hoseok grins at her and says he’s got enough time to spare before his duty ends.

              The next day, Y/N’s frowning at Hoseok as the latter awkwardly holds his lunch tray next to her table.

              “Uhhh, aren’t you standing by the wrong table? Your friends sit over there.”

              “No,” Hoseok quips. “Jimin and Taehyung are not seated anywhere here because their lunches are scheduled way later today. And, this, in my opinion,” Hoseok scoots to Y/N’s side and sits down beside her, “is the perfect table.” Hoseok digs in his lunch and grins at her, “You should probably start eating now, too, y'know? Your food’s gonna get cold.”

              “I–” Y/N bites her lip and look away before she refocuses a glare at his face, “Are you really taking seriously your joke last night?”

              “It’s not a joke,” Hoseok retorts, dropping his utensils. “I’m serious about everything I said." 

              "But I didn’t mean mine. I’m drunk, remember?”

              “If you really didn’t mean them,” Hoseok looks at her, “then you can just tell me to leave. I’ll do whatever you say.”

              Y/N stares at him, brows scrunched together as if conflicted. She looks down on her hands on her lap and sighs, “I…don’t really want you to…leave. I’m sorry, I just…thought you’re just playing with me. You know all of this is still new to me. I’m sorry.”

              “Hey, it’s fine,” Hoseok chuckles, “no need to be so serious. We can take things slowly as long as you’d like.” Y/N pulls up a small smile and Hoseok grins. “Let’s finish our lunches and then we can look at memes. Memes are essential building blocks in friendships.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. Taehyung and I became friends after we accidentally sent each other hilarious anti-government blinking man memes.”

              It is needless to say the entire university goes berserk later when they find Y/N, the campus bitch, and Hoseok, the university’s sunshine boy, guffawing over chemistry memes during lunch. Hoseok does not understand a thing, but he enjoys laughing with Y/N as she passionately explains to him each concept and why they are funny.

              It is true that Y/N wasn’t the dearest person in the world. Hoseok learned this after weeks of dealing with her unintentional snarkiness and unnecessary science lessons that may seem insulting and offensive to others. But through the time he got to befriend her, Hoseok learns Y/N is just too smart for her own good. Y/N always goes around like an encyclopedia because she doesn’t know what else to say when she wants to find common grounds with other people. It is just unfortunate that Y/N cannot speak of anything that does not involve quantum mechanics and chemical structures.  Meanwhile, her unintended snarkiness is always directed to people’s redundancy and anomalies in their speech. Hoseok found out about this as soon as February rolled in, that it has to do with the restrictive childhood Y/N had. This, he discovered when Professor Minyoung Park called for him after his Science 11 GE class.

              “Hoseok, I see you getting close with Y/N, these days.”

              “Yes ma'am,” Hoseok replies. He sits on the chair in front of her desk.

              “Oh, then you must have been familiar with how she can get,” Ms. Park leans forward, “not so…friendly around people. I know she and her mind of hers can be a little too much for others.”

              Hoseok’s forehead furrows. How did Professor Park know? Although Y/N’s bad reputation has easily spread like wildfire among college students, not many professors or any of the university staff have shown any interest in her life other than her impressive academic standing. Hoseok asks, “How did you know, Ms. Park?”

              The 40-year old professor leans back and smiles. “Would you believe I used to tutor Y/N L/N back in middle school?”

              “No way,” Hoseok’s jaw drops open.

              Ms. Park chuckles, “Yes, it’s true. I know, what a coincidence right?  I remember how that pretty girl used to be so insecure about her braces.”

              “Yeah, she must be so…adorable back then,” Hoseok looks away bashful. He’s not used associating Y/N with such adjectives. Saying them aloud feels too weird on his tongue.

              Ms. Park’s voice makes him turn back to her. “Until now she is. It’s just a shame how she did not outgrow her…usual speech style. But in her defense, it’s not entirely her fault.”

              Hoseok’s eyes widen. His curiosity is instantly piqued. “What do you mean, Ms. Park?”

              “Well, Y/N L/N is brought up in a home…quite not friendly for children growing up. The L/Ns is a prestigious family. Not for their wealth, but for their remarkable lineage of geniuses. Y/N’s great grandparents are renowned mathematician whizzes. Her grandparents own Fields medals for their remarkable contributions in mathematics. Moreover, Y/N’s parents are well-respected chemists in almost every pharmaceutical congregation. Even their relatives are families of renowned doctors and engineers. From over ten years of tutoring her, I noticed how expectations pile up upon the short shoulders of young Y/N. Every single school day, Y/N has to attend cram schools and private tutoring after her classes to ensure she stays on top of the overall batch standing. She also has to be exposed to upper-class parties at such a young age which I think does not help anyone at all. Especially a child. All the people ever do there is brag about their achievements, scour for new families to ally with or manipulate, and eye each other’s mistakes so they can prove publicly how better they are than everyone else.” Ms. Park looks at Hoseok in the eyes, “Believe me, I used to dream about attending such parties until I finally learned how they go when I’ve been invited by the L/Ns. And with Y/N being a single child, all eyes were on her. So any room for mistakes is non-existent. Her parents assured her to grow like the perfect daughter they wanted her to be by making sure her movements are always constantly monitored and kept in check. You think Y/N studied here because this is just a prestigious school? No. The L/Ns wanted to send her abroad. To Harvard. Y/N refused and convinced them instead she’ll study here because I work here. And her parents trust me that I can be their eyes to see Y/N’s progress.”

              Hoseok nods but he cannot help but let his mouth hang open at everything he’s discovering right now. No one really knew anything about Y/N. And suddenly out of nowhere, on some random Thursday afternoon, he is introduced into a pandora box of history where everything about her suddenly seems to make sense.

              Ms. Park must have noticed his troubled face so she reaches out and holds Hoseok’s hand. “Hoseok, I’m not telling you these to pressure you. In fact, I am happy Y/N finally found someone who can listen to her and understand her, instead of watching her like a glass-cased perfect doll. I’m just telling you all these not to excuse the mistakes she has done but for you to understand where she’s coming from, especially when interacting with her can be difficult sometimes. So I hope you won’t give up on her, Hoseok. I know you’re a good kid. I just want Y/N to finally enjoy herself like every other college student out there.”

              And Hoseok, with his ever characteristic stubbornness did not give up on you.

“What do you mean I cannot state the faulty quantum mechanics in Antman to Taehyung?!” Y/N scowls at Hoseok, fingers frozen on the book she has mid-taken away from the shelf.

“Because you will break Taehyung’s heart,” Hoseok purses his lips and steps nearer to her, almost cornering her to the back of the bookshelf. “And can you lower your voice? We’re in a library.”

“For the same reason you should also back up a bit as I do not fancy you borderline sexually harrassing me.”

“Sexual harassment?!” Hoseok whisper-yells, “I’m stepping closer to you because I feel the need to whisper louder for you to get my point that you should not explain whatever Antman’s faulty quantum shit to Taehyung because that will make him angry. And sad!”

“Why will he be angry?” Y/N sticks her nose up and crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t he feel grateful I am adding heuristic value to his existing knowledge?”

Hoseok drags a hand down his face, “Well, I didn’t say you cannot explain some facts to Taehyung. I’m just saying you don’t tell him those things in a matter-of-factly way you always do because he’ll think you’re insulting him for watching such movies.”

“How should I say them then?” Y/N quips back.

Y/N learns the answer to her question before she knew she already did it. She realizes it when she gets out of her film class and Hoseok, who has been waiting for her last period to finish, asks her how did it go.

“Well, I told him 'The film Antman is quite weird.’”

“And what did he say?”

“Taehyung grinned at me and high-fived me.”

“Well then, it was successful. Much better than how you initially decided to do it,” Hoseok grins.

“But still…I called Ant Man weird, I’m still perplexed why Taehyung is pleased.”

“Calling something weird is a common expression to us,” Hoseok starts and Y/N tilts her head. Hoseok explains further, “’Weird’ can mean as a good endearing weird or an insulting ‘weird.’ If you added statistics of probability and some laws with calling something ‘weird,’ it will sound like 'Hypothesis one is proven: the movie is confirmed to be bullshit because of unquestionable proof.’ And that will appear insulting because you are not giving room for others’ opinions to be valid. It will make you look you’re belittling them if you said it that way. But today, you did not. See?” Hoseok smiles, “you do not have to state 100 percent what you really meant. Just a bit of truth you find essential for others to know is already enough for a small talk.”

Y/N nods, her lips morphed into an amused “oh.”

Hoseok grins as he puts his hands on his waist, “Trust me on this. I became Mr. Congeniality last year for a reason.”

“What does it have to do with making small talk?”

“It means, I am the expert in making small talk.”

***

“C'mon, Y/N, let’s go to the spring festival. Please, please, please, pleaseeee.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N pulls her hand from his grip, “I have to study for our finals.”

“But, Y/N, it’s too early for that. The finals is yet to come 'til next month! Look at me, I do not feel any pressure to study yet.”

“But that’s because you do not have any academic standing to maintain.”

Hoseok’s face falls and Y/N immediately rectifies her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hoseok. Of course, I know you also value your class standing, given your program and all. I’m sorry I’m being insensitive again.”

Hoseok breaks into a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m just fucking around with you! You’re partially right though, I don’t have an academic standing to maintain but a performative one. Although I still have to keep my grades up so I can continue studying here. Anyway,” Hoseok grins at Y/N, offering his hand out, “I only accept apologies in the form of accompanying me to the spring festival.”

“Fine, Hoseok,” Y/N  begrudgingly accepts his hand. But Hoseok cannot miss the small smile forming on her lips.

“Don’t fret tho,” He boops her nose and she cringes at him, “we can  insert some Q&A sessions later so you can do a bit of studying if you’d still like.”

“How will we do that?”

Y/N learns the answer to that when she finds themselves screaming from the opposite ends of the giant boat ride.

“HOSEOK, DAMN YOU!”

The boat tips and her stomach drops but all she can hear is Hoseok screaming.

“WRONG, Y/N. The answer to the drilling ship which can dig 'til the mantle of the earth IS CHIKYU! NOW, off to the next question. What are CYANOBACTERIA?!!!”

              But Hoseok does more than just sticking by Y/N’s side and not giving up on her. He falls in love with her.

              Through the months he has become Y/N’s friend, Hoseok cannot help but be endeared by her. The things about her he never thought will come as close to what he calls cute suddenly grows on him. It grows too much that he lives off every single one of them. Even if it usually ends with him getting roasted. He used to get frustrated by Y/N’s never-ending witty comebacks. Now, his heart started singing during their bicker-banters that Hoseok even started to look forward to their bickering. Y/N’s smile that Hoseok used to think was a standard horror level of creepy is now all he could dream about when he’s asleep, and even when he’s awake. The way Y/N laughs at him, or smiles when she sees him were heart-warming. Until they upped 100 million levels and now they have become cataclysmic for his heart. The way Y/N patiently teaches him his lessons, or how her science-y jokes and memes become funny was something Hoseok used to overlook as trivial. Now, he couldn’t wait for the days he’ll bring his notebooks to the library and stare at Y/N’s face while she teaches him quantum mechanics and chemical structures. 

              Y/N’s small “tokens of appreciation,” as what she called it, like her handmade ‘thank you’ cards she gives Hoseok every month, or her invitations for Hoseok to accompany her to some street event or nearby dance event, or as uneventful as a new food stall that has opened in the university were something Hoseok never put much thought on. Now, they’re Hoseok’s source of both happiness and headaches as they make his heart fly and his brain ache for thinking too much into her actions. The way Y/N looks at him like never someone else has before—so attentive and focused in everything he says as if everything that comes from his mouth has so much worth listening to. Even if it’s a disgusting tale of how he almost shitted his pants before their science exam because he didn’t listen to Jimin when he told him to stop binge-eating spicy wings as a coping mechanism to stress, Y/N listens. This used to be something Hoseok treats as his special privilege as her friend. But now, it has become a national treasure he does not want to share with others. Especially with Namjoon, his roommate, whom Y/N managed to befriend because the former is a Biology major who’s on the same level as Y/N’s intellectual prowess. God, Hoseok cannot even count on his hands the number of times he’s been conflicted if it was jealousy on Namjoon’s effortless way to make Y/N laugh, or petty anger because he cannot even understand their jokes. 

              Hoseok doesn’t know how or why he suddenly felt all of these things for Y/N. It just happened. And so is how he accidentally blurted it out to her during one of their conversations, despite Jimin and Taehyung’s adamant warnings not to ask her out.

              "And whenever I use the microscope in my room, I’m always scared turning the coarse knob so much. It will be horrifying to see the objective lens break the slide and the coverslip.”

              “Y/N, I like you.”

              YN’s jaw goes slack and she stares at him, eyes wide. Hoseok almost feels perspiration dot his entire hairline for what feels like ten whole minutes in purgatory. Will Y/N leave? Will she scream at him, laugh at him even for his audacity? Will she reject him? Of course she will, what is he thinking? Taehyung and Jimin are right. Y/N is smart and he is too dumb for her to even fulfill at least an ounce of her standards. Y/N is respectable and he is a shameless clown–

              “I…am allowing you to be sexually attracted to me, Hoseok.”

              “W-what?”

              “I said,” Y/N looks straight into his eyes, “I am giving you permission to like me, Hoseok.”

              Hoseok balks. “P-permission? W-why do I need permission?”

              “Because, if you’re going to like me, I need you to know I am acknowledging your sexual attraction to me seriously,” Y/N stands up, putting her hands in the pockets of your coat. “It will be a waste if you do not want a long-term commitment. I do not have time to dwell on anything less than that.”

              Lucky for Y/N, so does Hoseok and he wastes no time proving it to her. For the course of six months, Hoseok courts her in the most possible best Hoseok-way. Y/N lived the majority of her life within suffocating walls surrounded by academics, titles, honors, and people waiting for her to fall. Hoseok wanted to take her with him on a break (and a possible future lifestyle) away from them all. So he takes Y/N to carnivals, dance events, and festivals–ranging from streets decorated in cheap glowing lanterns to grander events that have remarkable fireworks displays.

              Hoseok shows Y/N himself at his most vulnerable and strongest. He lets her watch him perform alone in practice rooms as he expresses the things muddled in his head, things he never dares to say to anyone else. Y/N’s been with him when he broke down due to his anxiety concerning his not-so-impressive acads. She was also with him in his embarrassing drunk adventures. Hell, Y/N even participated in his crew’s weird end-of-the-sem party. She let Hoseok dress them two like the two robbers from Home Alone–complete with the rageddy cut gloves and dirty face makeup. But, Y/N has also seen Hoseok’s crew’s successful university tours, the exclusive events he got invited to, and his dance recitals that got many theater and entertainment scouts crowding the room he’s dancing in.

              Hoseok shows all of himself to Y/N. Willingly and so transparently, that in turn, she started to show him her self, too. Y/N let him see her in her utter glory. She let him see her receiving awards from various electronics competitions and exhibitions, her creating the first demo of her portable printer and scanner machine that earned many positive reviews from numerous investors, and her getting featured in not just the university’s newspaper or any other school’s newspapers, but the city’s news for a composting machine she invented. And, Y/N also let Hoseok see her at her worst. She let him see her get told off by one of the people she had unconsciously insulted in the hallways, her failing her Communication GE classes, and her having a panic attack when her parents announced yet again another party of scholars who wish to see what she’s been up to lately.

              These things made Y/N realize Hoseok was serious about her and she, in return, has started to cherish the golden boy who would never leave her alone for the day until she’s crying from sheer laughter and happiness.

              However, it is the small things Hoseok does that really really gets to her.

              Hoseok remembers the small details Y/N slips in during their conversations.

“Hey, you are not supposed to eat that,” a fork clashes with Y/N’s own, preventing her from reaching the delectable dish.

“This pasta?” Y/N looks up at Hoseok.

“It has chopped shrimps. I asked Seokjin about it and he said it has prawns.” Hoseok grabs Y/N’s hand and leads her to the other side of the buffet. There, he gets her pasta with white sauce, this time, garnished in bacon. “Here, eat this, instead. It may not taste like the one with the shrimp but at least you won’t get allergies and you can enjoy the rest of the night instead of chilling out at the hospital watching sad re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.”

***

“Hoseok, you won’t believe how fascinating my yield turned out to be, like–Hoseok, what are you doing?

Hoseok pauses in his fumbling and blinks at Y/N. He looks down back at his bag and sighs. “I was hoping to keep this a surprise but oh well.”

He pulls up something from his bag and Y/N’s left gaping when he hands her a box of baked cookies. He rubs his neck, the tip of his ears reddening under her  gaze. “I remember you telling me it’s been a while since you ate cookies. My mom baked a lot for us so here, have some. I know you’re on some ridiculous diet your parents told you to take. But I hope you could give yourself a cheat day and just eat and enjoy the day. Your parents aren’t here.”

              Hoseok never fails to check up on her.

“Hey, how long have you been hunched over your desk now?” Hoseok’s voice blares from Y/N’s phone’s speakers and she sighs.

“About five hours now, I think?”

“Okay. Why don’t you take a break for ten minutes before going back to the grind? You told me your back is being an ass to you for two weeks now. Give it some rest. Also, drink some water.”

“Okay mom, will do,” Y/N chuckles over the line.

“Okay my daughter,” Hoseok sing-songs and she snorts. “I’ll call later and check up on you. Don’t dare to not take a break. I know where your dorm is and I’ll break into your window if I have to.”

“Okay, okay, will do, my personal health support system.”

“Glad to be of your service, ma'am.”

***

Y/N sighs as she throws her bag onto her bed. Today is a beat day. Mr. David was sour and he poured all his frustration on their class by giving out unnecessary lectures instead of teaching the new lesson. Y/N guesses she’ll have to self-study again for a quiz the prof has irrationally scheduled for tomorrow. And oh, Ms. Peterson also gave out a heavy paper late. It will force Y/N to cram for it in two days as submission date is just the day after tomorrow. Why is every deadline piling up today? It’s not yet even finals week yet!

Y/N plops onto her desk with a heavy sigh. She’ll end up having to do an all-nighter again — wait, what’s that doing there? There’s a pack of sandwiches in a clear food container sitting on top of her desk, beside her notebooks. Y/N doesn’t remember buying one or requesting her rommate, Jae In, to buy her one. Curious, she picked it up and turned it around. That’s when Y/N sees a yellow post-it attached on the plastic container.

“Hey Y/N. I thought of you today and decided to make you a sandwich. This is edible, I assure you. I asked my cooking mama friend Seokjin to come over and help me. Eat this snack before you do your work. I know you always start work right after coming home from your classes. I hope you eat on time and not skip on meals.

With super duper mega love,

Hoseok 😘”

              And Hoseok helps Y/N to the best he can, whenever he can, especially about things she’s passionate about but no one takes time to really understand.

"Hey Y/N,” Hoseok greets as he plops down next to her seat in the library.

“Hoseok?” Y/N glances up at him, eyes wide, “What are you doing here? You told me you have practice today.”

“Eh, the members cancelled on me today.  And also, I’ve missed you, so I figured why not visit you.” Hoseok grins at her and she momentarily forgets how to breathe. Y/N doesn’t know when Hoseok started to have that effect on her, it just happened. And although it is starting to be an inconvenience regarding how she becomes a nervous wreck under his gaze, she weirdly cannot find herself complaining against it. 

Hoseok leans forward, breaking her trance. “Now, what should we study today?”

“Uh-uhm, cellular mechanisms. I wanted to learn more about cancer cells.”

“Cellular mechanisms it is, then. Want me to help you make diagrams?”

Y/N nods and Hoseok grins, “I see the skills of artist Hoseok is not about to die anytime soon, eh?”

***

“How does that work, Y/N?”

“Well, it converts the mechanical energy from every step you take into electrical energy. It’s not yet finished so I’m still figuring out how many more parts I need for this to work. My previous demos have a lot of mistakes.” Right at the same time, a bolt pops off. Y/N runs a hand over her face, “And a lot of malfunctioning parts.”

Hoseok scratches his head. “I don’t know about any energy conversions but I know how to screw well?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A-a statement. I can fix what we have for now while you revise your design. Whaddya think?”

“That sounds good.” Y/N turns around and heads for her blue prints. But before she can pick up her measuring materials, she turns back to Hoseok, meeting his gaze as he’s mid-picking up a screw driver.

“Thank you, Hoseok for assisting me on this. I know it’s just a personal project and I may be taking too much of your time when you should probably be resting at your dorm.”

“Pssh, you’re not taking too much of my time. I am enjoying my time with you. Also, it’s not just a personal project. It is a personal project so of course, it deserves to have gigantic importance to you. And it will turn out great because I know it will. Now go let’s get these revisions done so we can do another test run.”

              Hoseok has been a wonderful friend, an amazing supporter, and a sincere person who never feels ashamed of showing Y/N what he felt. That is all she needed for her not to doubt anymore and accept his confession.

              “Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok huffs, hands tucked deep in his red parka. “Why did you  tell me to meet up in the park? It’s cold out. Can’t it wait 'til tomorrow?”

              “No, it cannot,” Y/N faces the man, brows scrunched, her lips red from the number of times she has bitten it. “Hoseok, there’s something I need to tell you.”

              “W-what is it?”

              “I…am reciprocating yo-your profession of your sexual attraction to me.”

              “What?”

              “I said, I am reciprocating–” Y/N’ bites her lip and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she gives Hoseok the most focused stare she can ever give. “Hoseok, I am accepting your love confession. I like you, too.”

              Hoseok stares at Y/N, eyes wide, mouth agape. And for too long that Y/N thought the cold must have frozen him all over.

              “Hoseok, why are you staring like that? I am telling you, I like you too–hmppf!”

              Hoseok is kissing her, his lips pressed softly against hers in a gentle peck. Before Y/N could process things in her head about what to do when the boy she likes started kissing her, Hoseok is already coaxing her lips to dance with his. And before long, Y/N is returning him a kiss with the same ardor as his. It’s not like her to suddenly make out with someone so publicly. Hell, it’s not even like her to kiss someone with such passion that the warmth she feels on her chest comes close as to the heat of the sun. But as Y/N stays in Hoseok’s embrace in the middle of the frosted park which contrasts their warm chests, everything just feels so right.

              So right, as if fate just planned this very night for the two of them. Because, as their kiss comes into an end, Y/N and Hoseok both jolt at the drop of wetness that land on their heads. Y/N looks up and sees the familiar soft white snow falling from the dark night sky. The first snow. Right then deja vu sets in of how it was just one year ago she met this giggling boy in front of her at the very same time of the year.

              “I guess the universe wants us to be together, too.” Hoseok smiles.

              Y/N grins at him and sinks deeper into his embrace. “As preposterous that sounds given that the universe is, literally speaking, a no-higher living being, it is more preposterous that I am finding myself agreeing to and blushing because of this.”

              “I can’t understand what you said but I think it means you like it too so I’m deciding this is one of the best blush-worthy moments I ever had,” Hoseok kisses the top of Y/N’s head, “and whatever you say won’t stop me from taking back what I said.” Y/N nuzzles her nose against his chest, smiling at the way she cannot tell her heartbeat apart from his–the beats beneath their chests in sync despite the incongruity in her words.

***

              Loving Hoseok is easy. He is charming, generous, understanding, and everything Y/N ever wanted. Even more, nothing really changed from their friendship, just the addition of cheesy pick-up lines, sweet kisses here and there, hot make-out sessions which more often than not escalate into passionate (and very amazing) love-making. And Y/N loves her relationship with him as well for this. Because even if Hoseok succeeds in making her a soft mush for him, she cannot live her life without having him be the best-est friend she could ever have in her life.

              But from all the things Y/N loves about Hoseok, her most favorite has to be his utter transparency. What she sees in him, is what she gets. Hoseok is unabashed in proclaiming his feelings for her. He does not get embarrassed in showing Y/N his love for her. And, Hoseok does not keep secrets from her. He just willingly tells everything about him to her, no euphemisms, no lies. Y/N guesses this is probably the reason why their fights never last too long. Moreover, this quality of his makes up for Y/N’s inability to effectively express her thoughts and feelings. He taught Y/N pure utter honesty that so many people have stigmatized for naivety, but actually felt so amazing. He also taught Y/N to trust and let down her walls for people so they can be able to love her. Hoseok inspires and motivates Y/N to become a better version of herself, not only for the sake of others, but also for herself, and she cannot be grateful enough for that. 

              Titles didn’t matter with Hoseok, with Y/N, and their relationship. What only matters is their labels for each other–boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers loved and in love. Hoseok does not encrypt his messages in a way that would match Y/N’s mental capacity – He just talks with her like the way he is, nonsense and eggplant emojis and all. Hoseok does not burden Y/N with heavy, unreasonable expectations. He just loves her and lets her be whatever she wants. He just stays by Y/N’s side as she freely learns from and works on her mistakes like every flawed human being. With Hoseok, Y/N knew what she deserves and she started to live her life the way she has always dreamed of–so flawed but so perfectly Y/N L/N who is unafraid of what the future may bring to her.

              However, not everyone cannot fully comprehend Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok. Loving Hoseok may be easy but the environment surrounding their relationship is an entirely opposite scenario. For Hoseok’s and Y/N’s disregard of titles, does not guarantee everyone else around their relationship will do the same.

              Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok spread throughout the campus like a Jeffree Star fight-controversy with another YouTuber in 2x speed. The entire university has gone berserk yet again, unable to fathom how someone who shines so bright like Hoseok can be together with someone like Y/N who dims other’s lights. And for other people, they cannot understand how such a happy-go-lucky academically-challenged student like Hoseok can even amuse such no-shit, genius brain of Y/N.

              Almost everyone has something to say about their relationship. And, most often than not, they are negative. It didn’t help anything in their relationship as Y/N is already insecure as to why Hoseok even chose her when he can have any woman he wished. Y/N knows she’s difficult to be with. She struggles with expressing her feelings and thoughts. She even feels like she’s making things too hard for Hoseok. You see, Y/N’s a safe player. In whatever grounds she’s in — academics, social life, family ties — she  always plays safe. Y/N finds it hard to not be so, especially when all her life, she has been groomed to be a person well-liked by everybody else — a person safe from any negative impression that may tarnish her reputation. So, when things get a little bit too hard with Hoseok, Y/N finds herself automatically heading for the exit.

              Just like in one Wednesday night in August. Y/N had her fair share of fights with Hoseok. From the difficulties that tie with his popularity, her inability to show her feelings to him that sometimes makes him question her love, his procrastination and occasional lack of care for his academics, her nature to obsess over her studies that she tends to forget herself and everyone around her, to his numerous female friends who have the audacity to still flirt with him even if they all know he’s dating her — Y/N and Hoseok have fought about them all within their seven months of dating. And sure, they were already pretty bad fights given that they were immensely serious with Y/N and Hoseok ending up screaming at each other, giving each other cold shoulders, and ignoring each other for at most (usually) five days. But this Wednesday night was not like any of ther previous fights. Because this time, Y/N told Hoseok she wanted to break up with him.

              “Will you stop for a second, Y/N?!”

              Y/N swiftly turns around, tears brimming her swollen red eyes, “What do you want, Hoseok? I already said what I need to say. I am tired of constantly being the bad guy whenever we fight. I am tired of this, of you. I want to break up.”

              “No, you don’t mean that,” Hoseok almost cries. He looks equally devastated as her — swollen eyes, pale face, trembling fingers. “N-no, you don’t mean that,” he repeats, this time, his voice breaking.

              “Of course I mean them, Hoseok,” Y/N spits, “I never say things I do not mean. You know me.”

              “I know you,” Hoseok retorts, “that’s why I am telling you right now you don’t mean telling me you’re tired of our relationship, of me. That you want to b-break up. B-because you’re Y/N,” he breathes out. “You seem cold but you actually care. You do not speak your thoughts or feelings aloud but act on them. Okay, maybe you speak them out, but you say it in a way most people do not understand so that still does not count. But, Y/N,” Hoseok reaches for her hand before she can even think of shaking off his hold, “I know you love me. Deep inside the deepest of your hypothalamus, like you said, I believe you love me. Or else, you wouldn’t stay when I told you to watch me dance alone, frustrated with the world. You wouldn’t put in effort befriending Taehyung and Jimin despite knowing what they all said about you in the past. You wouldn’t have told me you wanted to come with me to my hometown and meet my family for my dad’s birthday. And,” Hoseok looks down at his feet, “you wouldn’t have stayed with me this long knowing how annoying I can be and what everyone else has to say about us. So please, Y/N. Just please…stay. Let’s talk it out together. Don’t just break up with me. Please don’t just l-leave me alone.”

              When Hoseok looks up at Y/N, it is with his brows scrunched together, eyes glazed over, and form almost kneeling in front of her. He holds her hands so tight, but yet so gentle, as if afraid if he clasped her fingers tighter, it will be too suffocating that she’ll slip away from him. He just looks at her and she cannot help but return his gaze. Y/N realizes right then, it may have been a bad decision to do so. For all she could see in his eyes is her reflection. Her and only her. It even seems as if he’s trying to keep the entirety of her as vivid as a memory can be. And maybe it’s because it’s the way he unabashedly tells her everything he loves about her. Or the way he remembers every single detail about her. Or how he knows her so well despite their relationship blooming at such a young age. But, they are all enough for Y/N to hold his hands tighter and let him engulf HER in his arms.

              “H-Hobi–”

              “S-see? You even still call me like that,” Hoseok mutters above her head and Y/N bites her lip as she clutches onto his jacket tighter.

              “Hobi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean them. I’m not tired of you. I’m not tired of u-us. I do not want to break up with you. Not at all. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Y/N lets out a sob and Hoseok hugs her tighter, running a hand over her hair, knowing it calms her down. “It’s just that everything’s been too much lately. The-the way your friends–”

              “What did they do?” Hoseok’s voice deepens close into a low growl. Y/N gulps. “Please tell me, Y/N,” Hoseok says softly as he cups her face in his warm hands. Y/N bites her lip and looks away. She does not want to be that type of girlfriend who instigates a fight between their significant other and their friends. She does not want Hoseok to have a bad blood with people he cares about. But then, Y/N remembers their fight two months ago. That night when she confronted Hoseok about the consecutive late nights he has spent in the practice room, neglecting his studies and even his own health for the past two weeks. The moment Y/N cornered him about it, Hoseok broke down and told her everything — how he lacked the motivation to perform well in his recitals and how his course adviser told him to pull his shit together before he fucks up the nearing international dance competition.

“She told me that I’m dating you right now but why can’t I even pull my shit together like you do. That she doesn’t understand why you’re even dating me when you can date far more competent guys. That sooner or later, you’re going to break up with me. Because,” Hoseok sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his cheeks, a tear slipping down them instead, “look at me. I’m so sloppy. I’m such a loser—”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N interrupts him and Hoseok jolts. “You…you’re not a loser. Sloppy, yes, sometimes,” Hoseok winces and Y/N grabs his arms and pulls him toward her so she can hug him tight. “Hoseok, listen to me. I’m your lover. No one else’s but yours. I love you and I will not leave you. I do not care about other guys, if they are more competent or whatever. After all, competency is just a social construct designed to promote the societal standards that aim for conformity.” Y/N disentangles herself from him to cup his face in her hands. “Hoseok, you are not a loser. And, you’ll never be.  How can you be at least an inch of one? You were the one who led countless competitions which won our university so many awards. Almost ALL the trophies in our campus’ Hall of Honor were all thanks to you. You were the one who helped our fashion design majors  grab an opportunity with various labels after your runway a year ago became viral. You were also the one responsible for resurrecting countless dead orgs with actually good goals. They even received rewards from the local government because of the projects you arranged! You’re not a loser, Hobi. In fact, you are the opposite of loser. It’s just your prof is an ungrateful bitch, demeaning you like that when you’ve brought glory to her name as your program adviser. What a fucking asshole, I could have punched her in the face and—”

Hoseok detaches his lips from hers and smiles. “I can’t believe I’m starting to rub off of you. You just said your first curse word. Two even!”

“Damn you, Hoseok. I’m being serious.”

“And so am I. Thank you for cheering me up, Y/N. This is why I love you so much!”

              Hoseok has always been honest to Y/N and she decides it’s only right for her to do the same.

              Y/N looks up at him. “Nayeon, Sungyoon, and…Sara cornered me yesterday and I thought it will be about what you are recently up to. Why you were absent at yesterday’s practice. It turned out they did this high school toxic open-forum-like session where they told me all my shits and why I shouldn’t hang out you. They said you were no longer the Hoseok you used to be because I kept dragging you down. That I…do not deserve you and you should be with girls like you. And you know what, I thought so, too. Because, you have far better things ahead from you than tying you down here with me.”

              “No one can tell what you deserve or not, Y/N,” Hoseok retorts. “Only you can. And, I know what you are thinking right now maybe the opposite of what you really think about yourself. But if I could help, I think you totally deserve me. Even more than that, honestly. Because, Y/N, you are not tying me down anywhere.  In fact you are tying me up. Not literally but figuratively. Okay” Hoseok closes his eyes, “I know it doesn’t make sense—whatever I say doesn’t make sense on the regular basis, so what’s the difference—but, what I mean to say is, Y/N, you are keeping me afloat. You are keeping my head up from the expectations and shitstorms that is plaguing me. You are helping me stay alive and keep pushing through all the difficulties I face. And for that, I am eternally grateful for you. So,” Hoseok smiles, “do not let anything anyone else says about us get to you. Because, they don’t really know anything about me and they very much don’t know anything about you. They don’t get to judge. Not when they do not know how it feels to have the most amazing angel by your side.”

              Y/N scrunches her face at him but she hugs him tight nevertheless. “Must you always be this cheesy and cringey?”

              “Only for you, baby,” Y/N could feel Hoseok grin from the top of her head. “Also, I’m gonna have a talk with those girls so expect apologies coming your way. And if things go the other way,” Hoseok clicks his tongue, “expect a decrease in my friends.”

              However, everything Hoseok spouted is easier said than done. Because truth be told, Hoseok thinks it is him who actually doesn’t deserve Y/N. She is intelligent but so is she kind. She’s mature and it is usually her who does most of the helping and progressing in their relationship. Most of all, it is more realistic to say, Y/N is the one who has far greater things ahead than him. And it became clearer to him the night she took him with her to her family’s home for one of her parents’ parties.

              Y/N countlessly told Hoseok she didn’t need to attend it. She even highly advised him not to come with her. But Hoseok has forever been stubborn so of course when he told Y/N he wanted to meet her family, he did every bit of convincing that get him to where he is now — shaken and lost in the middle of a fucking science exhibit of a party. The night actually started out well.  He introduced himself to every member of the L/N family, even distant ones who stayed in the farthest, most unnoticeable corners of Y/N’s house. Y/N’s family members welcomed him with smiles and actively talked with him. Her parents even handed him his plate of food themselves and invited him to spend Christmas with them.

              It only started going downhill when it was time for the main event of the party—the what-have-you-been-up-to lately segment or what Y/N would like to call the “let the best bragger win.” Everyone started spewing their achievements for the year in a fashion that challenges the other party to disclose their far greater successes. Which, ultimately, insult the others for their lack of any. The party felt as if it was a battlefield with every member of Y/N’s family pitting their achievements against each other, no matter what context they are in—even if they are not of the same category to even compare. Next thing Hoseok knew, he was being dragged into the center of the conversation, with Y/N’s father asking him to tell his “revolutionary thoughts.”

              Hoseok tried his best. He really did. He had recalled every lesson he learned in his Science-related GEs and even tried to apply them in the academic journals he saw Y/N reading. That’s why he doesn’t understand why every single time he opens his mouth, Y/N’s entire family is laughing at him. Is the Dual Nucleus Association found in fingerprints that funny? Hoseok didn’t take too long to ponder on it, for the next second, a hand is pulling him to the front doors of the L/N house. It takes another second for Hoseok to register Y/N was the one who’s dragging him onto the street in angry stomps.

              “Y/N! Why did we go out?” Hoseok pulls on her arm, “We have to come back! It will be rude to your parents! I don’t want to leave a bad impression y’know–”

              “It doesn’t matter, Hoseok!” Y/N whirls around, distraught, and Hoseok only notices just now her glazed eyes. Y/N chokes out, “Leaving an impression on them doesn’t matter because we have to get out NOW.”

              “What? No, Y/N! That’s not appropriate! I–”

              “Then is it appropriate for my parents and relatives’ to blatantly insult you right in your face?”

                 Hoseok takes a step back, “What? But they were laughing at me there. I guess my jokes are–”

                 “Hoseok, they were mocking you in there. We both hell know the fingerprint DNA trivia you were telling them is not a joke.”

                “But your father said the Dual Nucleus Association I muttered was revolutionary and funny.”

                Y/N closes her eyes as she releases a staggered sigh, “Hoseok, ‘revolutionary’ in my father’s dictionary meant ‘stupid.’” Hoseok scrunches his brows and Y/N breathes out, wishing she could let out as well the aggravation and loathing for her parents she has kept inside for so long. “He was making fun of you, Hobi. DNA does not stand for Dual Nucleus Association. It’s Deoxyribonucleic Acid. My father fucking knew what this means because he took a PhD in Microbiology and he didn’t even have the heart to correct you. He even put you up in front of everybody else and humiliate you without you even noticing it.”

                “W-what?”

                Y/N sighs for the nth time as she reaches for his hands. “Hoseok, I’m sorry I left you alone. This whole time, I didn’t know you were in my father’s care. It’s just that my cousin came to me and asked desperately for help about the verbal abuse he experiences at home. The way he asked for my help, I knew he’s about to-to blow up sooner or later. So I immediately went to his aid. And I guess I got so preoccupied trying to make him calm without triggering his panic attacks that I…did not see where you stayed in the party. Worse, I didn't fucking even know you were with my parents. I know this is not enough of an excuse and I have been a shitty girlfriend tonight. So I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m deeply so so sorry. And right now, I’m trying to make up for my mistakes by telling you we should leave. Now. I cannot let any of them insult you more,” Y/N’s voice breaks and she raises her hand to wipe a tear that has cascaded down her cheeks, “I cannot, Hoseok, for so help me God, I will march over there and declare I want to denounce myself as a L/N.”

                Hoseok doesn’t reply. He just nods at her and looks down at his feet. Y/N gulps down the anxiety building up in her larynx as she leads the two of them to the car he rented. She opts for the driver’s seat and hits the gas. Within minutes, the two of them are enveloped by the silent nightscape, a stark contrast to the cacophony of pride in her house.

                “Hoseok,” the man turns to the sound of Y/N’s voice. “W-what else did my father say to you?”

                Hoseok starts to fumble with the loose thread of his navy suit jacket. “Do you…really want to hear it?”

                “Is it that bad?”

                “Well, I-your dad questioned my ability to provide for you in the future. Because of my major and aspirations and all.”

                Y/N turns to him, aghast, “What?! Why would he even say that? What, he started to forget women’s abilities to revert back to the traditional patriarchal views?! Fuck him!”

                “I knew you would say that,” Hoseok says, chuckling softly. Y/N faces him again, this time perplexed as to why he is laughing. Hoseok reads her look and he clears his throat.

                “When you told me I was being insulted in the party, I will admit I am offended. But, before that, during an earlier talk with your father, I was not the least bit upset.” Hoseok meets your eyes. “That time, I was scared. Immensely shit-scared.”

                “I should have come to you first, not my cousin–”

                “No, let me finish first.” Hoseok purses his lips. He then looks out of the car window, at the scarce stars on the sky. “I knew we are far apart from each other. It was obvious even before we got together. Hell, I do not even get the memes you send to me when we first started out as friends. Sometimes, I even get insecure that even if you are not really bestfriends with Namjoon, he seems to get everything you tell me you found at the lab. Just by listening to our conversations, he understands them all. So effortlessly at that. I even have to plead him to tutor me and dumb-translate the science-y things you tell me, while I dry my brains out trying to understand them. But when I talked with your father, tonight, how he reiterated your status and skills and their difference from mine…I have never been this scared in my life.   Scared that what he said will come true—that you will realize how someone like me can never truly understand you ‘til the long run. That you will get tired of slowing your pace down for me…That you will eventually find someone more compatible with you–who also has a much more stable future ahead of just an aspiring dancer.” Hoseok turns toY/N and he reaches out for her left hand, her free hand. He clasps them in his hands and looks up at her, “But, I swear Y/N, I promise I will do my best. Your father may not be convinced but I want you to know. That I will do my best for you, Y/N. I will learn more for you. I will understand you more. I will improve my reputation into a much more respectable one. Hell, I can quit dance if I have to.”

              Y/N gives Hoseok a pained look. “No, Hoseok, you will not quit dance. I do not want you to quit dance. It will be too unfair for you and I know you will regret it.”

              Hoseok sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah…that sounds easier said than done.”

              “You don’t have to do those things for me,” Y/N squeezes his hand, making him look back to her. “I actually enjoy helping you learn. I love that you goof off the way you want because when you do that, I am reminded people like you still exist today — people who are not afraid of being themselves. Because of that, you inspire me to live more. I also love that you put in the time learning the things I’m saying because it means you genuinely are interested about my thoughts and you are not afraid of women being smarter than you — something most guys fail at. But that’s because most of them are misogynistic, prideful men on their high horses. And, I know you’re not like that. Most of all, I love it when you dance. Because through it you freely express every bit of your emotion. Because, you’re transparent, Hoseok. You’re an open book and I like it the best because you don’t leave me hanging, confused, troubled, and worried about what you’re feeling, especially when you know I am already bad at reading emotions. You are my stable ground, Hoseok. You make me feel safe. And despite the bad fights we’ve been through, I know you’re always doing your best. How can we stay this long if not for you being the brighter one between us when it comes to communicating, knowing that splitting because of things that can be solved will only result in one hell of a horrible mistake?” Y/N turns to Hoseok and he looks at her with his mouth agape, eyes blown wide. She smiles at this. “You have to know you’re more than enough, Hoseok. Like you said,” her smile grows wider, “no one can tell us what we deserve or not but ourselves. And with this, I know and feel that I deserve you, Hoseok. And you, me. What do you say?”

              Hoseok’s response to that was not of a verbal one but a physical one—one that involved a feverish kiss on Y/N’s lips, and her jawline that led Y/N to park the car by the empty gasoline station. Feather-light kisses, desperate hands to grab each other as close as they can be to each other, Y/N indulges in Hoseok and him in her in a passionate love that burned so bright it rivals the sun. The only words that transpire during that fateful night was “I love you’s” and for Y/N and Hoseok, they are more than enough of an anchor of him to her and her to him as waves of obstacles come in your way.

              All of these moments with Y/N have accumulated into Hoseok’s most wonderful memories in his life. And he still replays them in his head as another year of being her lover passes. Of course, problems never failed to arise as they manage their relationship. But, the ones caused by the comments of everyone in the university have lessened as Y/N and Hoseok have now graduated. Hoseok has left the university after he graduated, while Y/N stayed in the university as she applied for a Master’s degree in civil engineering. 

             Y/N still lives in her dorm for the convenience of teaching in the campus and studying after work. Meanwhile, Hoseok lived in an apartment in the city, close to the prestigious dance studio he works at. Their schedules are most often than not, amiss, and the distance between them can be sometimes frustrating. However, what remains the biggest obstacle is everyone’s opinions about the two of them. Sure, they were not as restrictive as what the two of them have experienced in the university. But it didn’t mean it hurt less when people say how they never thought someone as fun as Hoseok will choose someone so boring like Y/N, or how Hoseok’s intellect was a down-grader for her respectable reputation, saying she has a tasteless choice in choosing partners. Although these problems may get a little overwhelming, the two of them never let them get in between their relationship. 

              Hence, Y/N and Hoseok are still madly in love like the first year they have started dating. So in love that Hoseok felt it is now the time to propose to Y/N. For anymore day without her officially bounded with him, when you already own every piece of his heart, is something Hoseok cannot take any longer. He wants Y/N to be his partner for the years to come, his significant other for forever, and the only person he wakes up to and sees last in his day and nights for the rest of his entire life. Hoseok knows this and he has never been surer in his life.

              This is the reason why Hoseok is where he is today: clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and mismatched socks, with a troubled look on his face. Hoseok may have only realized he wanted to marry Y/N in late November, but he was able to make an intricate proposal plan to execute before this year can end. Today is Y/N’s free day and he has classes that have ended early. Lucky for him, Jimin is free to take her out for some last-minute gift-shopping in the afternoon so Hoseok can have ample time to decorate Y/N’s dorm with hearts and diagrams of the hypothalamus (because “No, Hoseok, we do not say I love you from the deepest corner of my heart, but from the hypothalamus. We do not feel from the heart. It just pumps us blood”).  Hoseok will have the gifts he bought for Y/N delivered that very same day to complete his decorations (and to also spoil her even more). He will cook Y/N her favorite dishes and make her hot cocoa even though he very much likes eggnog more, just because she likes the sweet chocolate beverage. He even requested his orchestra friends Yoongi, Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Sandeul, to play Jingle Bell Rock (“in cursive”) on the far side of the hallway so when Jimin drops Y/N off, she can have her favorite Christmas song as her background music when she steps inside her room and gets surprised.

              That is why when his heart and hypothalamus decorations actually looked shit, the arrival of the gifts was delayed ‘til tomorrow, and the meals he cooked looked inedible—not to say the hot choco looked like a mess too and totally un-aesthetic—Hoseok finds himself frozen in his place next to Y/N’s Christmas tree, looking as if he was constipated for ten days. Worse, his girlfriend is already standing by her door frame, kicking the door close like it was just any other day. 

              Y/N hangs her coat on the hanger and puts her shopping bags on top of her wide cabinet. She nonchalantly glances at him, “Hoseok, what are you doing there?”

              Hoseok feels sweat run down his face in waterfalls. If Y/N is surprised he was standing stupidly next to her tree, she did not show it. But right now, Hoseok’s concern is her seeing the decorations he made chucked in a large paper bag he hid behind the tree at the last minute. Of course, it is poorly hidden. He plays with the collar of his sweater “I…um, I–”

              “Nevermind. I guess this is one of our spontaneous date nights you ironically always plan. You should inform me next time, you know, so I can prepare for you as well,” Y/N smiles at him. “Come sit with me.” She walks to the sofa by the Christmas tree and pats the seat next to her. Hoseok scrambles to sit beside her and tries not to look like the dumbest fool in the world. Y/N did not get surprised, the orchestra’s music is barely heard inside as the cold wind of early winter overrides it, and he looks totally shit. How can he propose to her now, huh? All of his plans are ruined!

              “Di-did you eat already?” Hoseok asks, hands sweaty on his sweatpants. “I made you your favorite.”

              “Umm…yeah,” Y/N bites her lip, guilty. “I was already hungry before Jimin and I can finish our shopping and I really felt a great need to devour some pizza today.” She reaches for her small satchel and produces a folded paper bag. “I saved some for you. We can eat it later while we watch Netflix.”

              “O-okay,” Hoseok nervously laughs. His eyes land on the pink mug on the dining table. He looks back at Y/N, “D-do you want to drink something? I made you hot cocoa.”

              “Ooh, I’ll drink it later. I just had a sweet choco milkshake before I got here,” Y/N bites her lips again in guilt. “I’m sorry, Hoseok, I didn’t know you prepared these stuff for me. If I had known sooner I would have never even stepped out of my dorm today.”

              “It’s okay,” Hoseok pulls a smile and he tries not to look a tad bit upset about the failure of his plans, because he knows Y/N will immediately recognize that look.

              And, he wasn’t wrong. “Why, Hobi?” Y/N cups his face to make him turn to her, “did I do something wrong?

              “No,” Hoseok looks away. “It’s just, my plans…didn’t work out today.”

              “What plans?”

              Hoseok immediately feels his ass on fire. Did he just almost give himself away? He cannot just blurt out he wants to marry her! He wanted it to be special and he cannot have that happen in just her dorm with his shitty-looking outfit and almost-burned food. He wants Y/N to remember this day and he ain’t taking the risk of letting any bad memories mess up his proposal. And so, Hoseok sighs and decides he has to abort the plan and schedule it some other day. He’s just gonna make an excuse for now. “Well, I just thought we can make this random Thursday special y’know? Keep up with the aim of my spontaneous dates–good surprises making life much better without needing a reason to be. So I just made some food and stuff for the fun of it. It’s just a normal day surprise.”

              “Oh, then I’m glad today is really spontaneous dates today. I may have…foiled your plans, but look, I happened to have a surprise for you!”

              Hoseok tilts his head, “What is it?”

              Y/N grins at him before turning around and fumbles for something in her bag. Then the next second, Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is suddenly blaring loud from her phone.

              “Y/N, did you seriously just play Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe in speaker mode?”

              “Oh, don’t be an in-denial bitch. I know this is your favorite Christmas song. A good song has to create the aesthetic and mood for tonight,” Y/N chuckles, “Here, Hoseok, my present for you.” She hands him a box wrapped in a fancy green sparkling wrapper with a red bow tied around it. It was medium-sized, enough for one of his favorite KAWS models to fit inside.

              “Present?” Hoseok asks, feeling both joy and guilt respectively swell in his heart and pit in his stomach. Joy, because Y/N is to add another model to his growing collection. And guilt, because he didn’t bring her anything worth the same as her gift. But as he tears open the box, another fancy green box just stares back at him. He looks up at Y/N with squinted eyes. “I see what you did there, sneaky missy.”  She just chuckles at him and Hoseok continues to unbox her gift, only to have another box inside. Hoseok wonders what made Y/N think of doing this infamous wrapping technique for her gift when she wasn’t even that much into wrapping gifts. She always just give him gifts in standard wrapping paper, messily taped all over around. Moreover, what even is her gift and how small does it have to be? Because now, Hoseok’s hands are getting tired of unboxing box after box and the gift is now currently the size of a stress ball!

              “Y/N, can you just tell me your gift? I’m getting tired. I can open it tomorrow instead and we can just get straight to Netflix tonight.”

              “No, Hoseok,” Y/N laughs, patting his shoulders. “Keep unboxing.”

              Hoseok continues forth with the unboxing and his heart starts to sink to his stomach as the box got smaller and smaller. This is probably a prank. One to get back at him for telling Y/N last year he bought her her favorite gift for their monito event with Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon. Only for him to arrive with nothing but a bow on his head and shamelessly declare to everyone that he is her gift. Nothing must be inside this box to contain a gift so small. The box in his hand is now just the size of a small toy car!

              Hoseok sighs as he opens the box. Another green box will appear and then he’ll see the paper saying “Pranked you, Hobi!”

              But it does not.

              For the box on Hoseok’s hand right now, is gaping open to him right now. And all he sees is a sparkling, silver ring embellished with emeralds that seem to form waves around the base of the band. A fucking ring is sitting right on top of his hand.

              Hoseok gapes and just stares. Far too long that Y/N decides to break the silence. “Surprise! I bought you an engagement ring! With green emeralds just like your favorite color.” She grins at him as she holds Hoseok’s hands in hers, making him turn to her while he stays jaw ajar. 

              Y/N suddenly feels self-conscious and unconfident. This is not the reaction she is expecting. She starts to fear if she’ll spend the coming Holidays boyfriend-less. Just by looking at Hoseok’s stupified face, it looks everything is happening too fast and too sudden tonight for her boyfriend. Nevertheless, she says, “I-I know this may come off as a really big of a surprise. After all, this is an engagement ring and right now I am trying to propose to you. Barely, even. So, of course, this is definitely a shocker. Especially when we only just spent two years dating. Still too early for a proposal to come, as what others will usually expect,” Y/N’s voice breaks. 

              She wrings her hands together, her feet trembling beneath her, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “But, Hoseok, in these two years I have spent with you…I learned what it felt like to be loved and be in love with you. We fight, yes. Healthily usual even. But, at the end of the day, everything still feels worth it. And I guess,” Y/N  smiles, “I cannot get enough of it. I cannot get enough of you. Being your girlfriend no longer satisfied me. I now want to be your wife. I want to be the only person you’ll stress over science just to impress. I want to be the person who’ll be your home. The one you will come home to, wake up to, and sleep next to every night, every single day. I want to be your partner-in-crime, especially when we have kids and we’ll play some game I never heard of but will still enjoy in the end just because you like it. But only if you want kids, hehe.” Y/N laughs awkwardly and scratches her nape. “Hoseok, I know I am clumsy in saying my feelings for you. Today is my first time saying everything so honest and raw like this so I know this may shock you. God, you don’t know how many times I practiced this speech in my office. Other professors must already be thinking I’m going crazy—anyway, what I only want to say is,” Y/N reaches for Hoseok’s hand and kisses it. “Hoseok, I want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.” When she looks up at him, she says, “And it will only happen if you’d also love to be by my side forever as well. So what do you say?”

              “W-what, I will say?” Hoseok repeats, still shaken. However, he’s so happy he cannot help the wide grin splitting on his face. “Yes, Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.”

              “R-really?” Y/N’s releases a relieved sigh, fingers wiping the tears that have formed on her eyes. “T-Then, why did you look like as if you’re about to walk out on me when you opened the box?”

              Hoseok cups her face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Because you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Y/N scowls at this and hits his chest, hard. Hoseok coos at her as he hugs her tight and chuckles, “You’re an asshole because you headed out straight for my heart—hook, line, and sinker — and now I am completely blown away when I was supposed to be the first one to do so. Seriously, Y/N, I did not expect this to happen this way. Not when I also prepared a surprise for you tonight.” 

              Y/N’s brows raise in curiosity. Hoseok unzips his gym bag on the sofa and turns back to her, now with a red velvet box on his hands. 

              Hoseok pops open the box, a ring of the same design as the one she bought him stares back at her. But this one, instead of green emeralds, is embellished with blue emeralds, her favorite color.  Right then and there, Y/N wanted to cry.

              Hoseok rubs his nape. “I’m supposed to propose to you tonight as well. But you beat me right to it and now I forgot my speech.”

              Y/N chuckles at that as she wipes away the tears that have formed yet again on her eyes. Hoseok smiles as he squeezes her hand. “But, that doesn’t mean I’ll skip on this once-in-a-lifetime’s opportunity to propose to you,” Hoseok looks at her, “Y/N, I love you. And I know forever can be a heavy word and sometimes love cannot solve every problem that may come our way. But Y/N, what I said two years ago hasn’t changed. I will try my best. For you, I will. And we may be young but I know you and I are capable to make us work for as long as time can let us. Because you are Y/N, and I’m Hoseok. People may be against us but we know with each other, we are the best we can ever be. We deserve each other. We need each other. But most of all, we love each other. That’s all we need. Me and you. You and me.” After he breathes out, Hoseok cups Y/N’s cheeks and she leans forward and interlocks their lips in a soft kiss. 

              Y/N grabs onto Hoseok’s ugly green sweater and deepens the kiss, letting her mouth do the talking for her and him. For no words can be enough to express everything that is settling in their hearts tonight — euphoric bliss, the sweet feeling of triumph. Although Y/N can feel a tinge of the uncertainty of what may come to the two of them in the future grappling on her nerves, there resides in her heart the greater courage that despite the unpredictability of life, Y/N knows she can manage it with the constant she now has by her side — Hoseok. And for him, her. Because, Y/N is certain this is the most right decision she has ever made in her life: loving him. And, Hoseok proves it is the same for him as when the kiss comes into a close, he whispers on her lips, “Guess the déjà vu tonight is really working at its best. Fate really wanted us to be together.”

              Y/N grins at him, her forehead bumping into his, “And where’s your proof, future Mr. Y/N L/N?”

              Hoseok presses a kiss on Y/N’s forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, then at the corner of her ear. He whispers, “Look outside.”

              And there outside, white droplets fall from the sky, lighting up the near-black horizon while frosting up the window panes. It is the first snow. Y/N smiles. What Hoseok said to her when she reciprocated his love confession doesn’t seem so preposterous now. It seems like fate really tied the two of them up together as she first met and started dating Hoseok when the first snow fell. There’s a saying that whoever you’re with during the first snow, you will be with that person for a long time. Y/N and Hoseok have already been living proof of that for being together in three years—friendship plus dating days combined — amidst whatever people say against them two. 

              And Y/N hopes, that as she and Hoseok promise forever to each other tonight, the saying will come true. Because she wants the two of them to be together for a very, very, very long time.  After all, Hoseok is right. She is  Y/N and he is Hoseok and together, they are the best they can ever be, titles and achievements be damned. The weather may be cold during these pinnacle moments of her and his relationship but their hearts are warm and cozy, and there is nothing more Y/N could ask for.

Epilogue:

“You know, Y/N, my original proposal was beautiful, I’m sure I’ll have you bawling tonight.”

Y/N gives him a look and Hoseok laughs, “Good thing they’re gone now. D’you know I actually wrote my entire proposal in my hands? They just got erased because my hands have become so sweaty when I chucked away the decorations I made for you.”

“What decorations?”

Hoseok pulls on the collar of his sweater, “Cut-outs of hearts and hypothalamus?”

“R-really? You remembered what I said to you three years ago?”

“Of course, babe,”Hoseok smiles, “It’s you. How can I forget that? But they’re not available anymore as I already threw them away. They looked like shit.”

“Where did you throw them?”

“In a paper bag….by your Christmas tree–hey, why are you picking it up?”

Y/N turns towards him, smiling, her hands gently holding the crushed hearts and hypothalamus cut-outs. “Because you made it for me, Hoseok. Of course they hold value to me. It’s you.”

“You’re really a Grinch, you know? You’re making me cry with your sweetness and beauty when I should be jumping up and down with joy right now.”

“….Do you always have to be cheesy like this?”

“Only for you, babe. And get used to it. You have a forever to experience this one-in-a-million love from the one and only Jung Hoseok.”

A/N pt. 2 | Hi hons! Sorry my Christmas gift for you all was late! My requirement deadlines in uni ended up until Dec. 16 and so for the majority of December, I was solely focused on uni stuff. I tried limiting myself from using page breakers in this fic, a challenge I put on myself to train my skills again in doing transitions in my writing. This story is inspired by the rivalry of science and art majors in our uni in my first year! Also! I hoped you guys appreciate my take on @kwritersworld’s prompt. I want to incorporate it in a very unexpected way, while at the same time, reflects my character in a way I‘ve never done before. OC here is a bit grumpy and lacks social skills to be friendly so I interpreted her as an everyday-Grinch hehe). Lastly, @bts-poetry, I really enjoyed doing mini Q&As with you! I hope you like this gift and I also hope we can talk more in the future!

All Rights Reserved 2019 © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission.

[yuraimi-lee-bunny]

Let's get to the point first and then I'll give the important details:

Because of rude and intolerant comments of directly and indirectly way from LiS fandom here in Tumblr (only intolerant and abusive fans of Pricefield and Chloe) I fell into depression for a year and a half

I met the game on February 6, 2015. I immediately loved the game. I could only watch Gameplays. At the same time I was about to finish my Visual Arts career. I was specializing in Illustration and creation, development and character analysis (theory and practice)

At the beginning (between Ep.1 and Ep.3) Pricefield was causing me some pleasure but I also liked Warren, although I defended Warren from the unjustified hate that dome gave him, but I never saw the Grahamfield as an option. But days before Ep.4 some personal things happened to me, and I began to see the Grahamfield with an option, I started to like it more. Ep.4 arrives and besides being my favorite episode, I was happy and surprised that the Grahamfield was a possible option.

Finish the game and although I don't like at all the choice "Sacrifice Arcadia Bay" I had no problem, in the end: everyone their choices. I started showing my Grahamfield works. Sometimes comments came directly and indirectly offending my work. No problem, I could deal with it. But in 2016 began the problem: The attacks on Grahamfield, Warren and those who liked it increased even worse: they attacked those who chose to Sacrifice Chloe. The offenses were of a lot of variety but here are some of the ones I remember:

"You have no heart" "You're a monster", "You're a horrible person" "Surely you're homophobic" "You're a lesphobic" "You didn't understand the game" "You didn't understand Max" "That disgusts your tastes" "If you like such a ship, then fuck you"

In early 2016 I was dealing with many personal, family, professional problems, go to see things about LiS and other things that I liked helped me to reassure me. But that intolerant posts in LiS tags were so massive and consecutive that ended up making me believe them and thus, fall into depression.

I was weak? Maybe. But I hope you understand that everywhere I was going through difficult times, that when I went to see things about LiS it was my way of being able to entertain myself and I hope you also understand, that these people were not entitled to attack people. In 2015 I could deal with it but that 2016 I couldn't because of my own affairs and because the attacks, seriously, were massive. I was no longer happy with my decisions, nor tastes, with anything. I tried everything: to listen to my favorite music, to watch series that motivated me and remembered me my goals and my own being. Met my friendships, my boyfriend. Nothing worked. Everything was getting worse: although I no longer paid attention and stopped going to tags for a while, the damage was already done to me, the doubts grew more and more in me:

"Why do I like grahamfield?" "Why couldn't you like the Pricefield?" "Why do you like Warren?" "Why can't Chloe be your favorite?"

And worse:

"Why do you always like the weirdest thing?" "Why can't you be like the others?" "Why don't you normal?" "Why do I think as I think?" "Why am I this way?" What was I born for? "Why do I exist?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

My self-esteem went down a lot, I no longer wanted to draw and I didn't want to get out of bed. Everything looked gray and had attacks of crying. Although my problems had turned out. The depression was already in me. I had to go to the psychologist. I was diagnosed with Social Depression. It wasn't serious, but it had to be treated. I kept going to sessions. My psychologist is a love, I could tell her absolutely everything even if it sounded very absurd but she understood and helped me. My mom, my boyfriend, some friends help me too. Some things I discovered also help: Lukas Graham, Keane, Oxenfree, and more.

Throughout 2016 sometimes I suffered attacks of anxiety, doubts, of crying. It was difficult to deal for me, my mom and my boyfriend. But we don't give up. I didn't give up. I almost broke up with my boyfriend for believing it was a nuisance and weak, but I never did. Unfortunately sometimes looking Pricefield made me nervous and feeling of guilt for not liking Pricefield invaded me very hard. I swear that I tried by many means to like it and become my ship. I never could and currently I can't. I only see them as best friends.

So I drew Grahamfield. In fact, in this long road of recovery, Max and Warren accompanied me a lot, they were the characthers and a ship that helped me a lot in accepting myself as I am and with my tastes and choices. Little by little I was recovering. 2016 wasn't a very pleasant year for me, but still there some good memories of that year. 2017 was a better year. At the beginning of that year I could feel improvements, but sometimes the doubts continued and sometimes I woke up with stomachaches. Monstar Calls, Persona 5, Jughead's Comic, new friendships, and improved more. LiS's fandom was quieter and I drew more Grahanfield. But April was where I found that serie that made me try harder to get up.

Orange is the New Black and Bojack Horseman were those series that I watched in 2016 and helped me a lot to accept my depression, to accept myself, to defend myself and to love myself as I am. But that April 12 2017 I started watching 13 Reasons Why and everything was clearer to me. I know, 13RW is a very controversial series, but it helped me realize many, many things: how lucky I'm to have people around me who love and love me. That I want and I must be strong to protect those I want, to defend myself and demonstrate what I'm capable of achieving. Not giving up. It's worth moving forward. I want to live.

And so, with more strength and enthusiasm I began to overcome my low self-esteem, I began to draw more, to work for a while as a waitress and resume my studies to get my degree. There was only one problem: now I saw Pricefield and I got angry. It reminded me of all the pain I went through in 2016 for those rude people who liked Pricefield and kept attacking you just for liking another ship. But my anger is left just in that: Angry. I swear never, but NEVER come to attack or offend someone because they like Pricefield. I never did and never will.

2017 was a good year, although BTS isn't a game that I like very much, I enjoyed it somehow. My psychologist tells me that I'm much better. For me it meant that I had already overcome my depression. The earthquake of September 19 in 2017 was an event that greatly impacted me. I helped as much as I could, and there I realized that in 2018 I wanted to improve myself more as person. And I did it.

2018 was my best year: I participated in a film with rotoscopie technique called "Olimpia" and it's one of my greatest achievements and I'm proud to have participated in making animation. I did many activities that helped me grow as a person. I kept drawing Grahanfield and now I defended Warren and Grahamfield as I had never done, but this time with evidence. My love for the characters had come back and I had studied the subject more. American Vandal, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Shape of Water also arrived in 2018 and they helped me a lot.

2019 arrives: Carmen Sandiego and The Umbrella Academy get to inspire me professionally. I started a diploma in February of Graphic Novel to get my Bachelor's degree. I did it. I finished in August and this November they gave it to me. I'm already licensed. I've been calmly reading the LiS comic. Seeing things about Pricefield no longer fill me with anxiety. I absolutely feel good and happy with my tastes within the fandom of LiS.

In these days I have thought about my whole process. OITNB ended this year, next year ends Bojack Horseman and 13 Reasons Why. Those 3 series with their recent seasons have made me see that I must close a cycle. And that's why I count all this.

I tell my story as proof of how much the toxic side of the LiS fandom damaged me. That although everything remains calm sometimes, there are still people like that I managed to get ahead, and I hope that someone inside the fandom hasn't suffered something similar or worse. And still, to those people who damaged me only one thing I can say:

Thank you.

Thank you for your fatal acts, because even they have damaged me and brought me into depression, it caused me to get the best out of myself and show myself that I can be stronger.

I love Grahamfield, Max and Warren separately. These characters and ship aren't only that, they're my recovery symbol and reminder of loving me as I am. They mean to me a lot. They grew and healed with me. I appreciate these two separately and together. I never hated Chloe. She isn't my favorite but I appreciate her a lot, I recognize her flaws, and I still appreciate her. Chloe and me have things in common. But in truth: you don't know how much I identify with Max and Warren, that's how it was since I met the game.

I'm glad to notice my years of progress. But I also want to apologize if at some point I became rude for defending Warren and/or Grahamfield. Now I hope you understand where my courage and my insistence to defend it came from.

I also want to make it clear that I don't blame Pricefield or anyone who likes this ship or Chloe. But I want to prove that attacking someone just because doesn't like your ship isn't fine. You don't know what is happening to that person. Judging someone just for a taste is neither good nor kind. You don't know how much a characther/ship can mean for that person. Notice to what degree can damage their fanaticism that reaches the degree of intolerance. I also want to clarify that it isn't bad that someone doesn't like Warren and Grahamfield. What is wrong is that some don't understand that everyone likes. That understand that not everyone will like the same thing and they will not see it in the same way.

Everyone is a world. Everyone has their own worldview. Not because someone is different from you and doesn't like the same as you, it gives you the right to judge it as trahs and treat it as trahs.

Treat people as you would like to be treated.

I'm glad that in these 4 years that I like LiS I have found people who are still kind to me and others, and who respect each other's tastes and decisions. Both on Twitter, IG and here I have found friendly and fun people and I really appreciate them. They were a great help of my recovery. Really, thank you very much guys. Believe me that sharing the same taste for LiS but each one having different taste, still treating each other well and in a friendly way, helped me a lot and I'm very grateful. I will continue to like everything about LiS and LiS2. I will continue to draw about it and I will love to find friendships that also like LiS. Count on me when you need anything. LiS is still something important in my life, it helped me a lot to grow in several aspects. But I also won't let anyone keep offending/attacking someone else in the fandom if that person isn't hurting anyone. Respect and Tolerance among all please.

If you have read all this, you don't know how much I appreciate it. I hope this helps someone to reflect on our way of living, communicating, understanding and tolerating each other. I'm already very well, more than good.

I love myself.

Please love yourself.

You can do it!

[darkmacademia]

hello!!! am in awe over your sketches, may i ask if you have any tips/resources on someone just starting to sketch (and probably can’t draw to save their life)?? (sorry if this has been asked before!!!)

hello! thank you so much!! how wonderful that you’re drawing. when I first started drawing seriously around 13/14 years old, I would draw heaps from references or just fanart of stuff that I liked. it really helped me get a grip on proportions, tonal values, form, etc. don’t be shy to just draw whatever you like! the key part is that you’re improving your feel for drawing. if you have a friend that likes to draw too, it’s great to do some art/still life sessions (shout out to @acastemia my og art hoe). there’s no right way to draw, so don’t worry abt all that pretentious Fanart Isn’t Real Art shit, I got good at drawing faces through my bts fanart phase so you do you ahaha. hope you have a great time drawing!!

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Alison O’Brien

Writing Blog URL(s): @httpangelicjimin

What fandom(s) do you write for?: BTS, although I wouldn’t mind writing for other groups. Often, I have other idols that make cameos in my stories.

Age: 21

Nationality: Portuguese + French

Languages: Portuguese + French + English + Spanish

Star Sign: Leo

MBTI: ENFJ

Favorite color: pastel blue

Favorite food: pizza no doubt 

Favorite movie: I’m gonna have to be a sucker and say monster’s inc. bc who doesn’t love Pixar

Favorite ice cream flavor: I’d say coffee, tho I love a good ol’ chocolate ice cream

Favorite animal: wolf, it’s my spirit animal 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee, for sure. Iced coffee or mocha

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Ever since I was little I always wanted to be a singer but I guess I’m too shy for that ahah so I’d either say writing or advertising.

Go-to karaoke song: Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: The ability to change shape at will.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: The Victorian Era sounds brilliant to me. I would be a sucker for the dresses. Although, I also would’ve loved to be able to live in the ’20s. Great Gatsby made me dream countless times of all the amazing parties, with jazz playing in the background. The fashion was impeccable, and of course, to be alive at the same time as F. Scott Fitzgerald. I could even run into him at one of those glamorous parties. 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: I don’t think I would. Life has taught me some valuable lessons along the way but I was happy. Even when surrounded by those who didn’t have the best intentions in mind. If I had known all that I know now, I wouldn’t have lived as freely and carelessly as I did. I cherish those memories, even if they weren’t the best for me.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: Alright so… that’s a weird one. And what makes it weirder is that people have made that same question with me; it was either one horse-sized me, or 100 me-sized horses. Huh… I do have some background with chickens chasing after me, so I’d go with the 100 chicken-sized horses.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: I would 100% be the sucker that falls for the bad boy… ah… how I miss the high school bad boys.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: I don’t. Although I have no problem getting lost in those amazing universes where such creatures exist. 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I absolutely love mango-flavored things but I cannot eat mango. Just the texture of the fruit…. Yuck. 

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: I write everything. So far, in the 2 years, I’ve been writing, I have experienced a little bit of everything. I think writing all those genres are important to complement the story. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: I never wrote anything that was mxm but I am ok with that. Besides, I have two stories out with an OC and the others are mostly with female readers, mostly because I write thinking about me with a member or one of my friends.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I was already using Tumblr to read other people’s work. When the thought of starting my own writing blog came to mind, it seemed the most logical option to use. I have only recently learned about AO3 so… yeah, Tumblr seemed the most “at reach” app.

When did you post your first piece?: The first thing I wrote was called Wonder and was posted on a private blog. I started writing it a couple of days after Euphoria by Jungkook BTS came out.

What inspires you to write?: Everyday situations are always a good base for me. I like to write moments that I have gone through. Besides that, I find inspiration on movies and tv shows and some Pinterest albums. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that comes to mind ehe

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’d say college/high school aus. I did a collab with another writer from a college au and it was a lot of fun. Additionally, I have some wips I am meaning to work on and will soon be presented on my blog! 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I think that I wanted them to feel okay. Life can get pretty hard and reading, for me, has always been like a getaway. So, whenever I write, I hope that I can distract my readers from whatever is happening in the real world. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Whenever I’m struggling in life, it’s almost as if I lose my ability to write. I get really stressed, especially when I set deadlines. I try my hardest to push through. I believe that writing, even if it’s not to our liking, is better than doing nothing. I try to read more, to sleep better, and to seek inspiration. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: I don’t think I have a “most successful” work. I am pretty recent to Tumblr and am still growing bit by bit. As for my favorite, I’d probably say Dr. Love. It started out as a fun Valentine’s Day fanfic and I have some good stuff outlined.

Who is your favorite person to write about?: As I said, I love to find inspiration in my friends. Getting the feedback and how much they enjoyed reading what I wrote really is a heartwarming feeling. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: I don’t think they are so different. Because when writing fanfiction, you’re not obliged to go 100% with the idol’s personality you’re writing. You have the freedom to marvel around in the worlds you create and make them do whatever you feel like would work best. So sometimes, it can be just like creating a whole new character from scratch. 

What do you think makes a good story?: There’s a lot of things that are needed to make a good story. I mostly value the storyline. I don’t like it when things are rushed and prefer to read something others may find unnecessary but get more context. I love the small little details about characters that make me relate and emphasize with them. Also, a plot twist. I love to read stories that completely blow my mind and catch me off guard. Creativity is everything.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Why not? I don’t have a problem with giving different names to my characters as long as the story stays the same.

What is your writing process like?: I prefer to write at night. But, as I said before, sometimes there’s just an urge to write and I have to grab my laptop, or even the pull out the notes on my phone and type out some words for the story I’m currently working on. I try to create a coherent storyline as well. Plus, I have an amazing beta reader that always helps me with the plot and hears my ideas and complements them. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: I love the typical “good girl falls for bad guy” trope. I don’t care if it’s cliché, I just love it. Although, I hate those where the girl is portraited as weak and as if she would ever be completely happy and fulfilled if the guy is by her side; as if she’s helpless without him. Girl power you know? Aha

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: It means A LOT. I think there’s no better feeling than receiving a piece of feedback, despite how small it might be. There’s always room for improvement and just the simple fact to know that someone took the time to read my work and found it interesting enough to send me their thoughts, I really cherish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: I believe that my growth for the past months I’ve been on Tumblr could be due to how active I am. I always try to engage with the people I follow and even when I’m not posting my works, I try to be around. I have big dreams for my blog and hope to one day have a large audience to read my stories, but for now, I am happy with the ones by my side already.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes. A lot of people think that fanfic writers are mostly horny/crazy teens that are obsessed with some famous wannabe that couldn’t even care less for their existence. I think that’s one of the biggest issues with how society sees us. But I consider those to be amongst older people (perhaps 40+yo). 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Of course. Art is one of the most personal ways of showing emotions, I believe. Being brave enough to show with the world your creations takes courage and I admire those who do it proudly. Art can be interpreted in so many ways; it overcomes all the barriers that there might be. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: The feeling can get to me sometimes but I immediately shut that down. There was a time when I was forcing myself to write things I didn’t appreciate or that didn’t follow my storyline just to make others happy and I had to give up on those projects quickly because it was driving me insane. I strongly believe that if we don’t write what we are passionate about, it will either come out sloppy or we will hate it. Writing what we like, even if some might consider it bad, is what we should do.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: I don’t think so. Although, I don’t receive as much feedback as I’d like to, so I’m not certain. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: Only my boyfriend does and he’s totally cool with it ehe

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: A big big thank you! I am so happy to have you here and I hope you can take some time to read over my works ehe I am always open to talk if anyone needs~ 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Just do it!!! I know there are so many great writers out there and you might feel like you would bring nothing to the game but that’s not true. You don’t need to be scared ok? It will be alright. Just give it a chance. There was a time where I was scared too and now I have made so many great friends and meet so many great people through my writing. You can make it too! 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: No. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: Yess!! I have made so many friends thanks to Tumblr! I mostly have to thank the amazing people of @bangtan-headquarters for accepting me into their network and making me part of their discord server. I’m not going to be @/ing everyone but I know I have made friends whom I will forever keep in my heart uwu 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” - Les Brown 

[minjuwrites]

“Hey, Neighbor.”

A/N: Hey guys! I am back and with a different kinda story?? I decided to write for Beomgyu of TXT! Honestly, ever since these boys were announced I've been obsessed with their music and I’m so happy to see them get the recognition they deserve for how hard they work. I’m sorry it’s not a BTS fic, I know I have been promising a Jungkook one, but I've been having a writer's block and the amount of time I put into it I don't want to write something half-assed just to finish it! Hope you guys understand and depending on how this goes there might be more TXT content for you guys! Thank you guys for all the likes and reposts, it honestly makes me so so incredibly happy and motivated and it really makes me so happy!

WARNINGS: light angst? (Not really I mean it seems like it will turn that way but good ending!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the quiet district of Buk-gu if you listen closely you can hear the plucks of a guitar’s strings in the late night. If you listen even deeper, a sweet melodic voice will fill your ears and lull you to sleep. Fortunately, Y/N Y/L/N is able to hear these sounds every night. It started when she was younger, albeit the guitar was much more scratchy and off beat and the voice was more squeaky but, as time passed the boy on the other side of the wall only improved. Some nights she was lucky enough to hear him from the balcony of their apartments and as time passed so did Y/N’s love for the voice that always seemed to drift her off to sleep. Strangely, despite being neighbors, she's only seen the boy a handful of times and only for a short minute, usually when he was returning or exiting his apartment. There was one time where he held the elevator for you and the entire seven floors up you had butterflies in your stomach. You tried to memorize every part of him you could without looking too closely. He was tall and slender, his dark hair contrasted against his light beige skin. The more of him you took in the more stuffy and small the elevator seemed to get. And as soon as the ping of the elevator sounded you were nodding your head and rushing to your apartment door without a second glance at the boy.

/////////////////////////////////////

This month has been hell, with final exams and graduation quickly approaching you were struggling to retain as much information as you could. You had worked your ass off these four years trying your hardest to get into a good university in Seoul. As much as you loved Daegu, you craved the bustling streets and busy people. As you sit at your desk re-reading the same sentence for the tenth time now your eyes wander to the balcony window. Checking the time the red lights flash 1:00 A.M. You wondered if the boy next store was studying as well. Did he have exams too? Maybe he has already graduated? He didn’t look much older than you but, not once have you seen his face in your school. The more you think about him the more your mind stirs and you force yourself back to reality and the boring textbook in front of you. As you read the question again, frustration fills your body, your mind could read the question but it skipped over processing it. With a sigh you push yourself off your chair and make your way to the balcony for some fresh air. The night air has a nip to it and you settle yourself on the wooden chair facing the empty streets. It's so quiet all you can hear is the sound of the wind blowing past your ears as if they were telling you little secrets. As a single car passes down the road you close your eyes imagining what it was like now in Seoul. It must be early for them. Taxis are likely passing through the roads trying to get happy people home after a night of going out. It must not feel this lonely as you did now. Looking at your phone you check the time: 1:30 A.M.

Deciding to grab your textbook and notebook you hoped to get at least an hour of studying in before sleeping. You settled on continuing on the balcony letting the cold air be a natural energizer. After a couple minutes of you switching between scrolling through your phone and trying to read the pages in front of you, the sound of a sliding door makes you raise your head. There he was; dressed in a basic white shirt and dark sweats with a sleek acoustic guitar in his hand. His hair is disheveled and you can see the way his body is begging for sleep, he doesn’t even notice you at first until a gush of wind has your papers rattling. His eyes grow big as he looks at you, he takes a moment to look over the sight in front of him. Your hair is tied loosely and you wear a sweater and baggy shorts, he can’t help but blush at how beautiful you look. To him, the light of the moon has you glowing more than usual and he has to remember to keep breathing. His eyes look at the textbook and notebook in front of you and he feels guilty for interrupting your studying. He turns around to head back to his room deciding to be considerate and practice his music inside to not disturb you. As soon as he opens the door your voice rings out.

“Oh, I don't mind.” You smile at the tired boy. “The sound actually helps me focus.”

He smiles back shutting the door and makes his way to the wicker chair. He tries to hide his giddiness as he realizes this is the first time he's heard your voice so clearly. As soon as he sits down he takes a quick glance at your eager figure before strumming the chords of a new song he had been practicing.

I’m lying on the moon,

My dear, i'll be there soon

It’s a quiet and starry place

Time’s we’re swallowed up

In space, we’re here a million miles away.

You stare in awe at the smoothness of his voice, even after all these years of hearing it you had never been this close to him. Your body relaxes to the sounds and you continue to write your notes, all the stress seems to leave your body and you can't help the small smile that rests on your lips. Through the night the boy next door plays song after song for hours. As you write the last page of your notes you stretch and let out a yawn before intensely watching the boy finish the song he was currently playing. As he strums the last chord he looks up to your sleepy face with a trace of a smile. For a moment you two stare at each other to the sound of silence before you shyly look down and pack your things. You collect your books and the sound of your feet patter against the floor.

“Goodnight.” You smile before slipping yourself back into your room.

Beomgyu smiles and watches as the lights to your room flip off and he pushes himself off the chair and lazilly walks back to his room.

“Goodnight.” He whispers.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

For the next couple of weeks this became a late night routine for you two. Beomgyu’s friends teased him for the deep purple bags under his eyes from the many nights of staying up to see you. Your friends were always curious on what had you up so late at night since they caught you sleeping during long lectures and breaks. Soon enough the night before finals came and you spent almost the entire day buried in your notes. Meanwhile, your neighbor was currently panicking trying to bring up the courage to bring you the extra dalgona coffee he “accidently” made. Pacing he was trying to think of how he could actually talk with you before he left for Seoul, his final exams were tomorrow and luckily for him he had a contract for BigHit Entertainment waiting for him meaning that all he had to do was pass the exams rather than do well. He pumps himself up before he grabs the two mugs and makes his way out to the balcony. He isn’t surprised to see you already outside buried in your book, the stress was radiating off your body and your brows were tightly knit.

‘Come on dude, just say hi’ he tells himself. “H-hey.”

Your eyes flutter up, you didn’t even notice the boy come outside. “Hi.”

You can’t help but melt at the sight in front of you, his tall body is wrapped in light brown cardigan and his long legs are covered by fitted black slacks. You smile at the two coffee mugs in his bony hands, you think he looks so precious with his fluffy dark hair.

“I accidentally made too much whip…” he looks anywhere but your face as he sticks out his left hand holding one of the mugs.

You get up reaching over the gap and gently taking the mug trying to ignore the tingling sensation you feel as your skin touches each other.

“Thank you.” You smile before looking at the fluffy coffee and taking a sip. The cold drink seems to cool down your burning insides from all the built up stress you can't help but let out a happy noise.

“Is it good?” Beomgyu smiles.

“Very,” you look up at his figure lending against the rail. “You must make this a lot.”

He nods his head in agreement. “I always drink this before practice, it keeps me energized.”

“What do you play?” You ask curiously.

He laughs a little before taking another sip of his coffee. “I dance and have vocal training.”

You feel satisfied to know more about him and you find yourself craving to know more.

“You must go to an arts school then?”

He nods his head. “What about you, I always see you studying you must be really smart.”

Both of you wanted to know everything about each other, you switch between answering and asking questions enjoying the company.

Curiosity bubbles inside you, not once have you seen your neighbor open a textbook.

“Do you have exams, you must be tired from staying up playing guitar.”

He looks at the ground sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck. You noticed he was always so animated when he spoke making you smile.

“Ah~,” he looks at the cars passing down the road before continuing. “I actually have a contract set up for me after I graduate. I guess I’m so excited about it I've been spending my time practicing for that rather than my actual exams.”

You can’t help but feel excited for him. His energy is beaming when he mentions the contract.

“What company? I bet you got a lot of offers for how talented you are. They better treat you well.” You point a finger at him.

He gets shy from your statement and giggles slightly. “I actually can’t say but, if I debut with this company it will be a dream come true.”

You nod your head understandingly, you knew a bit about the entertainment industry and how strict their contracts could be. You both take a sip of your coffees admiring how twilight was beginning to settle.

“If you see me on TV make sure to cheer for me.” He beams.

“Of course,” you giggle looking into his eyes. “I’m your biggest fan.”

He can’t deny the way his heart skips a beat at your words and he especially can't hide his now crimson cheeks.

The two of you spend the rest of the night talking about both your hobbies and plans for life. You tell him about your dream to move to Seoul and open your own little business, the entire time he listens attentively. Soon darkness covers the sky and the thought of studying leaves your mind completely.

“I feel bad, I’m distracting you from your studies.” He looks towards you with a guilty smile.

You turn your head from left to right. “No, I really needed this. I was feeling so burned out it's nice to just talk with someone.”

As much as he wants to stay outside with you and continue to talk he knows he should get to studying himself so he can at least pass his tests.

“If you ever need an energy boost, just let me know.”

You take one last look at each other before the two of you break into a smile again.

“Hey, neighbor, fighting!” He laughs with his arms raised in the air.

You laugh along copying his motions watching him look towards you for the final time and slipping into his room.

//////////////////////////// 1 Year Later //////////////////////////////

As you cook dinner the TV plays in the background, an entertainment show dedicated to debuting K-pop groups. You liked to listen and watch enjoying the way the groups happily gave everything they had for their new fans. After hearing your neighbor talk so passionately about performing it made you appreciate the music scene more and the people inside it. The sound of screaming fans catches your attention and you look at the banner flashing at the bottom of the TV.

‘Tomorrow X Together’

You pour the ramen you were cooking into a bowl before settling yourself in front of the TV watching the new group intensely. The music plays through the TV speakers and you bounce to the beat enjoying the uplifting sound. You almost choke when the camera pans to an all too familiar face. His dark hair is now bleached but his face is still the same. You watch the rest of the show with a proud smile. You swear his eyes are sparkling and you can’t help but giggle at the cute dance they do.

As they wrap up their song the introduction portion comes, you eagerly wait for your past neighbor’s turn.

“Hello, Tomorrow by Together, my name is Beomgyu.”

The crowd cheers loudly and your smile grows even bigger.

Beomgyu. After all these years you finally learned his name. You feel a little ridiculous but as the program continues you cheer with the rest of the fans in front of your TV. The butterflies in your stomach attack as you watch Beomgyu perform and speak with loads of passion.

“If you see me on TV make sure to cheer for me.”

//////////////////////////// 3 Years Later /////////////////////////////

As the winter air kisses your skin you bundle yourself into your coat and scarf. You let out a breath of hot air before walking away from the little cafe and making your way to your apartment. You don’t get far before you hear the quick footsteps of someone close behind. As you turn around you are met face to face with the familiar dark hair and slender face you grew up knowing and studying. His hand is outstretched as if he was about to tap your shoulder and a surprised look coats his features before turning into a content smile.

“Hey, neighbor.”

[becomewings]

Archived Network Event

2020 Secret Bunny Exchange

hai lovely! Im sparkle and I’m going to be your secret bunny. I hope you’re having a good day or night. 🥰 -sparkle ✨💫

Hello Sparkle dear! Thank you for being my secret bunny. I hope you are having a good day/night too and enjoying this wonderful comeback.

I’m enjoying it too! It’s such a good comeback, and I honestly love it. This is like my second comeback with them. -sparkle 💫✨

This is my first comeback, eek! I was not at all prepared for how much I would be waiting on the edge of my seat, but it's been really exciting!

Yes! It's such a good comeback honestly. When did you first get into BTS? What drew you to them? I'm sorry I'm asking for many questions. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨

It's okay, ask away! ^^ I stumbled across BTS by accident...which may indicate just how much I live under a cultural rock. I actually don't usually listen to much pop music. I'm a classically trained composer and video game soundtracks and moody indie/rock are more my jam, but last year I heard the YouTube ad that uses part of DNA and it intrigued me. I didn't know which song it was so I ended up listening through quite a bit before finding it...and fell absolutely in love along the way! So I have a soft spot in my heart for DNA. How about you, Sparkle? What got you into BTS?

So first, I hope you're having a too day/night! It's been a very long and busy one for me. I'm so glad to be off. Alsooo, I've been into Kpop for around 10 years now, so I've always enjoyed and I have a soft spot for 2nd gen kpop groups. When BTS started to get popular I didn't like them at first. But I saw Dope after the FBE channel reacted to them and I'm like okay they seem interesting around 2018. Lol. And I went down the hole, and have been stuck since. Lol. They're amazing. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you Sparkle, hope you enjoy your evening off! Mine was busy too (we’re prepping for a move, eep) but at least it was productive. Wow, you’ve been into Kpop for a long time! Dope is really catchy (and I love that honky sax haha), I’m not surprised it got you interested and then hooked. :) Do you have a favorite era? Mine is probablyyy Wings, but I love most of Love Yourself too, and HYYH is so wonderfully nostalgic even if I wasn’t a fan then... and I’m a big fan of this new era too

Moving sucks! I'm going to be moving in the next year or so, and I"m not read for it. And yes! I've been into it for so long. But HYYH is one of my favorites as well. I think mine may be LY because that was the era that I started stanning them. I forget which one, but it's the one with idol as their title song. Wings is super amazing, and one of those that I'll always listen to. MOTS is just GOD TIER. Lol. I love it. -sparkle 💫✨

Haha MoTS being god tier is accurate xD Sounds like your move is a little ways off, but I wish you the best of luck when it happens! Ours is on a fairly tight deadline so I really have to hustle this weekend with house preparations (we still need to sell ours). I hope you have a lovely weekend, dear Sparkle! 💫

It is a little ways off, but moving just sucks in general. The packing and unpacking and then trying to get everything ready. Especially in your case. But I hope everything works out for you. And I hope you have a beautiful weekend too. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! We made a lot of progress today so I feel a bit better (and extremely tired). When the time comes, I hope you have the opportunity to prepare ahead for your move so it doesn't stress you too much. :) Have a nice start to your week! ✨

Heyyy! It's me sparkle! It's been alright so far, let's how it stays that way. And I'm glad you've made more progress on your move! Hopefully your Monday was good. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! There's so much going on in the world right now, close to home and far away... I am trying to stay calm and positive, with varying degrees of success. Please take care of yourself! (And that goes to everyone... I know it is difficult because we all have our own obligations to school, work, family, etc., but please try to prioritize your health and stay safe 💜)

Yes! I hope you’re staying safe. I don’t know what area of the world you live in and I know the virus is hitting others harder than most. We have 8 reported cases here. And it’s a scary to me. I hope you are staying safe. I just said that twice. Lol. Happy Thursday! -sparkle ✨💫

Thank you, you too! I live in the US (California, to be somewhat specific) and so far there have been two confirmed cases in my county. I'm grateful the university I work at is (finally) taking precautionary measures by banning large gatherings and moving classes temporarily online, and that I can continue working unless there is a full campus closure... Trying not to be too anxious about things that are simply out of my control and hoping that things gradually work out and improve. I'm also grateful for the community here, even if I don't know anyone personally, it is nice to come online and see people being reassuring and encouraging to each other from all across the globe.

Music and BTS are a good distraction when needed... Now that their promotional period is done, do you have a favorite moment?

I'll repeat you too, please stay safe dear, you and everyone who happens to read this 💜

I truly wish that my job would take some measures, and they have yet. I work with the general public a lot as a secretary. So it's like seriously having me on edge. I know the schools year have temporally closed down and moving things to online since it was spring break here. As well as the public schools closing for a month. Honestly, I'm not sure if I have a favorite moment honestly. Lol. They were all good moments, but I did quite enjoy watching all the ON performances. What about you?

I truly hope your employer catches on soon and makes accommodations so that you can practice some social distancing and have a safe work environment. We were just informed today that we have to work from home two days next week, on rotation, to keep our department staffed but also reduce the number of people on the floor -- for next week only so far, but I won’t be surprised if it continues past that. I can’t fulfill all of my responsibilities from home, so I’m grateful that they are allowing us to complete online trainings and such in the meantime. I am also so glad it’s Friday. What a week it’s been.

Ahh, I love ON! As a former member of drumline and marching band, I have such a fondness for the drum corps elements they incorporated into the music and background choreography. I was excited for the Official MV version too, so beautiful and thought-provoking! I also looove Black Swan (JIMIN’S DANCING EEK). I haven’t been as excited about something in a long time as when I stayed up late to catch their first performance on James Corden. So while I’ve enjoyed all of the comeback (especially as it’s my first!), that was particularly memorable for me. The surprise MV drop was also lovely 🦢🖤

Sorry, I am really rambly tonight. Please take care and have a good weekend! Hope you can get lots of rest! 💗

It’s been a long couple days! Sorry I haven’t gotten back with you! I’ve been stressed about everything going on, and I do hope that they catch on soon too. I was very excited for this comeback and the art in their videos has been beautiful. Black Swan and Jimin dance break? Quality content honestly. Yes! The surprise MV was great. I prefer this version of Black Swan over the other, but both are good. I hope you had a good weekend! -sparkle 💫✨

Hi again Sparkle, thank you for checking in on me! Please don't apologize for messaging delays, there's no need! We all signed up for this event long before any of this started, so I'm grateful you can spare a little time to chat with me. 💜 I'm working from home for at least the next 3 weeks because my uni is now fully closed... But I'm very grateful I have that opportunity. (As much as sometimes I would just like to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over, hah!)

Please continue to take care of yourself! Hope you find some comfort in music or other personal hobbies!

How are you doing? Last week was so stressful for me. So I am quite happy to be working from home this week. I hope you are staying healthy and happy through all of this! How was your week last week? I hope your weekend was alright? I had a pretty decent one me and a couple close friends had game night, and that was the highlight of my weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

I missed hearing from you, Sparkle! (But totally understand, the world is upside down right now.) I’m sorry you had a stressful week and I hope this one is better for you as you transition to working from home. My days have just fluctuated between quiet/boring and a little stressful (mostly re: house stuff, but that’s out of my control at this point), but I suppose I’m glad it hasn’t been worse than that.

Ooh what are your favorite games?? I’ve been trying to keep up creative side work between writing and blog content, but… I might purchase Animal Crossing soon hehe. Do you have any other hobbies to help distract you from stress/everything that’s going on? Take care dear! 💗

I know! I let time get away from me honestly! I hadn't been meaning too. I miss talking to you! I love all kind of games. I'm not particularly picky, but i do like that Game of LIfe. I've had just about ever version they've made. We played this one called Blockbuster in reference to movies and it was fun because if you know a lot of movies it's somewhat easy but you have to act out some of hte titles. Lol. Animal crossing seems like fun, everyone talks about it. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I’ve never played it before. I’ve been thinking of getting an Nintendo Switch, but I don’t know how often I would play it. I know that game comes on there. But I heard it’s also an app? I’m not entirely sure. Lol. Also, I’m planning on making you a gif set for the secret bunny exchange! I know you said you love Jimin (my bias wrecker and sweet baby), Kookie, and Tae. And you were right, it’s hard to pick just ONE. Is there any particular one you want to see in a gif set? -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

Receiving messages from you makes me happy! ^^ I know life is strange right now though so completely understand if you don’t have time. I’ll be patiently waiting!

So you like tabletop games? Sounds fun! I gravitate toward video games more personally, but haven’t had too much time lately to play. There are definitely fun ones to try if you ever get a Switch! There’s Breath of the Wild of course, which I admit I am still holding off on finishing because I don’t want it to be over LOL, some Mario & friends party games if that’s your jam, as well as some really beautiful indie games (Gris for example!). ANYWAY I won’t ramble about that anymore haha. I’m not sure what the app is, if you were referring to Animal Crossing–might be a companion to the game? I saw a tweet referring to using an app for quicker messaging in AC lol, but I haven’t played the game myself yet. 

Aw thank you so much for asking about the gift (and for making it in the future)!! Oh dear you want ME to pick one? If I’m honest, I think Jimin and Tae light up my heart the absolute most (any vmin content gives me life but totally understand if that’s not your thing) but… please don’t ask me to… choose between them HAHA. How about you go with whoever would give you the most joy to gif right now?? I will truly be happy to receive any gift from you, regardless of who is featured. :’)) thank you dear!! 

(Edit: btw who is your bias??)

I love tabletop games, and I play a lot of video games too. So don't get me wrong, I am huge into video games, but I don't play them as often. my boyfriend uses his PS4 all the time. I'm still trying to get through SpiderMan, but that's also because I don't wanna end it. I'm almost finished though. And yes! It's so hard to choose just one honestly, so I get your dilemma. And I can do vmin content! I don't gif them much and I want too. I can't wait to work on something for you! -sparkle 💫✨

Yay!! Sounds like we might have that in common. I have a huge appreciation for video games (and video game soundtracks is one of my favorite ‘genres’ of music, recognizing that they’re incredibly diverse of course), but I spend more time watching videos of other people playing them than playing them myself haha. We have a PS4 too. SpiderMan looked fun but I never tried it! I loved watching my partner play FFXV and Death Stranding. Trying to remember what I’ve actually finished on PS4, it’s been awhile lol... Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture and Rime were beautiful. I started Last Guardian but didn’t get very far before life got too busy. :( Hope I can pick it up again some day! Do you have a favorite PS4 game?

Aww you’re too kind. I’m so excited to see what you create!! And to chat with you off-anon. :) Who is your favorite member to gif?

Yes, I also like watching other people play video games, but it's rare when I do. I always end up getting distract sometimes. I've played SpiderMan, Horizon Zero Dawn, which are my favorites as well as Tomb Raider. I do really like FFXV, but i haven't played it in so long though. I can't wait to talk to you off anon either. I be having to really make sure I press the anon button. adlfkjsl I"m bad at forgetting. And Yoongi is my favorite to gif. -sparkle 💫✨

Oo I forgot I watched some of Horizon Zero Dawn too! Very impressive game. It looks like a lot of fun and I might try to play it myself in the future.. but like you said, it’s easy to get distracted. Life just likes to get in the way huh. Have you seen/heard of Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice? Intennnnse. I’m an absolute coward when it comes to horror games (or movies) and somehow my partner tricked me into playing one of the scariest parts because he got too scared HAH. That being said, as much as I love really emotionally intense games, I love soft gentle ones too… especially chill co-ops! (I’m thinking of the one we played most recently, Pode… that was on Switch though.)

Yayy Yoongi! I really do love all of BTS, and while the maknae line ran off with my heart, I have a big soft spot for Yoongi. I was never really drawn to rap/hip-hop except maybe Linkin Park like in middle school am I dating myself until I met Yoongi and just… wow.  ._. He’s so expressive in his delivery, his lyrics are heart-breakingly raw and honest, and he has extraordinary range between his gentlest material and the lines that come at you with a knife. Also I’m so proud of him for continuing to work as a producer and refine those skills on top of his life as an idol. What are your favorite things about Yoongi? If you can even choose haha 💗

Lol I know what you mean, I was really paranoid the first 2 weeks about sending anon messages to my other partners on mobile because the interface was different and I was really suspicious of the term ‘public’ vs ‘private.’ And every time I send the ask for about 5 seconds I question whether or not I clicked anon.

P.S. I should keep my mouth shut but … I have an itty bitty guess of who you may be. I won’t say any more than that and I guess I’ll find out in 2 weeks whether I’m right or wrong haha. xD take care sparkle dear!!

That game was really fun honestly. I still haven't finished. And sameeee! I am not into the horror games. The movies I can do, but the games I'm just too scared to really play them. I tried Resident Evil, and I was like this is a BIG FAT NO. Lol. And I haven't heard of that game though, but it sounds intense by the name of it. I also like soft gentle ones, or the ones were it's not a lot of challenging aspects to it. I really like Spyro. The original and the remake. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

Linkin Park is one of my favorite groups. I love them, and miss Chester so much. Also it sounds like we're maybe around the same age because that's when I got into them maybe? And I am so proud of him for everything that he's done. Yoongi originally wasn't my bias at first. I think maybe it was going to be Taehyung, but watching their variety shows made me fall in love with him. Outside of his hard exterior, he's so sweet and loving of the boys. It's so hard to just pick one! -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Okay, so one more. Lol. Because the ask limit is so short! I get paranoid all the time, and i have to like double check to make sure I Press it. alkdjfls NOW i'm curious as to who you think I am! But I do how you have a wonderful weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

Dying over your Resident Evil reaction because... SAME lol. However. I have enjoyed watching some playthroughs of 7 and the remake of 2, which is the closest I will ever come to watching a horror movie again. xD I have really fond memories of playing Spyro at my cousin’s house as a kid, but haven’t tried the remake yet! It looks like fun too. There are too many good games to choose from, not nearly enough time to play lol.

I only really listened to a couple of Linkin Park’s old albums, but I miss Chester too. \: We could be around the same age yeah! I’ll tell you when we’re messaging off-anon. :) 

If I may tell a story, my discovery of BTS went like this: heard a music clip in a YouTube ad of all places (normally skip them lol but I got it a couple times at work and thought hmm this is catchy). Then had to dive into some compilation videos to figure out which heckin song it was (turned out to be DNA). But along the way I found more songs I liked. And then I fell HARD for the Mic Drop MV (again, a little strange for me, because it’s pretty hip-hoppy). Jungkook makes this super intense expression at one moment that made me go oh. hello. So then I slowly learned who the different members were, and since this was me mostly streaming YT in the background at work haha, I had to keep switching tabs to check who was singing. I loved Jungkook’s singing but then also realized that I loved Jimin’s sweet voice too (yes I admit when I was first getting to know them, I could not always tell them apart). And THEN mister baritone Tae with his unique falsetto and delicious low range (I really wish they featured his chest voice more but OH WELL I digress) snagged my attention and ANYWAY long story short that’s how I fell in love with BTS and also the entire maknae line I guess. :’)

Hehehe I’ll tell you after the event ends if I’m right or wrong, don’t worry. It might be almost over, but I hope you had a lovely weekend too! ♥♥♥

Yes, somehow my sister convinced me to get it like she was going to play the game too, and she did not. I ended up exchanging the game because I'm like this is a waste of money. haha. I usually always skipped them too, so I totally understand. Everyone I knew liked but I had stopped listening to kpop for a while after the members of Big Bang went into enlistment (sad sad times). I first heard Dope. The FBE Youtube channel reacted to them, and I'm like OKAY GUYS. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

When Jungkook hits that high note I was like COME THROUGH VOCALS. So then naturally I had to go and look a few more videos. This was during around the time they had appeared on the AMAs the first time. And then I listened to I Need U and Save Me (this is one of my favorites). And I was hooked. I went and watched their Ellen interviews, and they're so sweet. I ended up binge watching their variety show and Bon Voyage and I was hooked then. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Run BTS was when I realized that Yoongi was my bias. Because I'll admit that I did not like him at first, but I said that already. And then I just realized how sweet and funny he actually his. And I think he's just shy at times. At least in the beginning, but he's so handsome and his stage presence is like a 360 from him being off stage. If that makes sense. I could go on for house about Yoongi. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨3/3

The high notes in Dope are pretty ridiculous because they’re at the start of the phrase so they get little to no preparation lol. Their vocal abilities are truly impressive... and then they do it all while dancing :’) 

I agree that Yoongi’s stage presence is strikingly different from his real self! Or the self we get to see in their behind-the-scenes content lol. Possibly like a lot of people, I thought he was super intimidating and tough until I saw more of him offstage... and then went awww he’s a big softie who just doesn’t pull his punches when he’s rapping and producing.

Do you have any favorite Run BTS episodes? So far I’ve only watched a handful of the recent ones, but all the random gifs and clips of older content warms my heart or makes me laugh. I’d like to eventually watch them all from the beginning... some day lol. (see all previous mentions of being too busy to do anything fun outside of work haha)

They are ridiculous. I love when they hit high notes in songs. All the boys have such a beautiful range, and I love hearing them. Especially when they do their solo songs. Jimin's solos are normally my favorite because his voice is the type I tend to lean towards a lot His stage presence is so different! Just like Jhope's. It's always so different, but it's them all in a nutshell, if that makes sense. Lol. I was in Chorus for a while, and I liked it begin in a group. -sparkle 💫✨1/2

It's easier being in a group, but I could never do it by myself. And favorite Run episode? Hmmm, there are so many that I love. I prefer some of the older episodes to some of the new ones. I'll have to find them again, but there was one where they were doing like this haunted house type of thing and it had me dying of laughter. They're all so funny though. I'm still trying to catch up with some of the new ones they've been doing. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

The vocal line is so wonderful, but I’ve been increasingly impressed with the rap line’s singing too. I have always liked the beginning of Spring Day and I confess it took me an embarrassingly long time to wonder which one of them was singing, and I was surprised to learn that it’s Namjoon. Also his low line in Louder Than Bombs is wonderful... I don’t even care if it’s probably autotuned a little lolol. And I only recently found out about the song Sea, but Tae’s chest-range melody at the very end.. UGHGHGGH it’s too. good. (DEAR BIGHIT COMPOSERS, MORE BARI PLS.)

I had to sing in choir in grad school and ended up enjoying it way more than I thought I would. (I’m a composer/pianist and I needed ensemble credit.) I’ve always been really self conscious about my voice, and now... I would love to take vocal lessons some day. While I know that no two people will play an instrument exactly the same, it’s kind of magical that you don’t know what the true sound or full potential of your own singing voice will be until you train it. Do you play any instruments? :)

The vocal line is amazing. I love all of their voices for different reasons, and sometimes I'm in the mood for one, and then another time I'm in the mood for another. If that makes sense. I haven't listened to Sea that much, but it is such a beautiful song! And you're right. His chest tone HELLO VOCALS. Lol. I'd love to take vocal lessons one day, but not sure if I ever would. And I don't play any instruments, but I would love to learn guitar one day. Lol. It's a dream of mine. -sparkle 💫✨

Hii Sparkle. I’m sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, but it really makes me happy when I receive your messages! Yess Tae’s chest voice deserves all the shouty caps all the time hehe. I hope you have the opportunity to learn the guitar someday if that’s what your dream is! Everyone starts somewhere... I would love to learn the cello too :)) one day haha. 

Do you have a favorite “underrated” bts song? Just curious! Take care dear, looking forward to finding out who you are soon~

Yay! I'm glad you like hearing from me! I really like talking to you. I don't talk to many people on here sometimes, but then other times I do. So this is nice just to be able to talk with a fellow army. One day I will learn it, I just have to learn how to read music first. Lol. Because I definitely don't know how to. Hmm honestly there are a few that I feel are underrated, that i Iove. Spring Day, Hold Me Tight, and Autumn Leaves. These songs are queens! What about you? -sparkle 💫✨

Music is a lifelong learning process but it’s worth it. :’) I believe in you!! 

SPRING DAY!! 🌸🌸🌸 One of my all-time favorites. I honestly might not have a very good awareness of what is underrated and what isn’t, especially among older songs, but... I love Spring Day, The Truth Untold, Jamais Vu, and most recently Sea... lol hm I’m sensing a trend of bittersweet/melancholy songs. But also House of Cards (it’s just so delightfully WEIRD and dark and different??). On the other end of the spectrum (although not sure if it’s underrated?), Silver Spoon/Baepsae. What a jam. Love to tune out the world with that one at work on one of my walk breaks if I had a frustrating day. And maybe it’s too early to tell from MOTS 7, but I get the impression that I might love Louder Than Bombs way more than the average army. And that’s okay :)

I don’t talk to or know very many people on here yet too, probably because my blog is still relatively new. So I’m very glad to be getting to know you

I loved Spring Day as soon as I heard it. I still listen to it a lot when I'm in the mood for it. It's such a beautiful song. The Truth Untold IS A QUEEN. I love that one too. Jamais Vu, I think I have to be in the mood to listen to it sometimes, but it's growing on me. House of Cards, that one I heard last year sometime and I like that one too. I don't listen to it as much. And Silver Spoon is my go too song honestly on my way to work. Louder Than Bombs is really good. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I listen to that one a lot myself. I think We Are Bulletproof 2.0 maybe one, but I'm not sure either. I absolutely adore that song so much. It's such a beautiful mad song honestly. And also you're right this update is kind of weird, but I don't mind the font so much. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Yasss I’m glad you like Truth Untold too. It’s too beautiful. I practically cried when I heard for the first time a live performance video (somewhere in Japan) where he sang a higher note in the climax than in the studio recording auuughgghgh my heart. 

We Are Bulletproof pt. 2 took awhile to grow on me but I was happy when it did. I can be a little odd about the order in which I listen to songs, and usually need to listen in album order, but for some reason I really like that one after No More Dream. Also, though it’s hardly underrated, I now know what all the fuss is about Cypher pt. 3. I’ve been gradually purchasing their older albums (kinda out of order) and finally got to Dark & Wild about a month ago haha. I’m listening to all these mad songs now. Been in a weird sad mood for a lot of today tbh and... mad bts is helping a little haha. So is chatting with you!

I’m probably overreacting about the dashboard, but something about that bubbly serif font is irritating haha. And I don’t see this mythical option to revert to the old dashboard that people are talking about in their settings. Boo. I’ll get over it... eventually haha.

The Truth Untold is one of my favorites, and I normally don't like ballads a lot. It takes me a while to get into them, but this one just caught my eye. I'm learning Korean, and it's one of the ones that I can sing along too while reading the lyrics! I am super proud of that accomplishment. When I was going through their albums after I got into them, I skipped the older ones at first. I wasn't sure if I really liked them. -sparkle 💫 1/2

I listen to a select few of them on their darker albums, but a lot of it isn’t really what I like hearing. Although, I think I may revisit the albums again. It’s been a while since I actually listened to them. haha if you go to settings > dashboard you’ll see it there. Just let it load for a second, adn then it pops up. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

(Ugh I typed an answer and then tried to drop in a screenshot and everything disappeared. Got it, tumblr. No dropping images. REDO.)

Oo that’s awesome that you’re learning Korean! Are you self-studying? How long have you been studying? I’ve been studying Japanese for several years (very slowly lol). Then a few months ago, thanks to BTS, I was suddenly really interested in learning Korean too. I worked on memorizing hangul for a week and then had a “lol what am I doing” moment when I realized I didn’t know nearly enough Japanese yet to realistically tackle two challenging languages at the same time. So Korean is on hold for now, but I really wish I could just… magically be fluent haha. It would be amazing to understand their lyrics or interviews/conversations on the spot without relying on translations. And English is stupidly difficult, so as much as I appreciate how much effort they’ve put into learning too… as an international fan, I wish I could return that effort too and learn their language so that they don’t feel like they need to learn English. 

Love Yourself: Answer was my first album and I purchased that one specifically because it was a compilation and contained most of the individual songs I already knew I liked from YouTube haha. Then I expanded from there. To be honest, if I had found BTS when they were just getting started, or anytime before HYYH, I probably wouldn’t have connected with their music, sound-wise or thematically. But… they were exactly what I needed when I did finally find them. And now I have immense appreciation for their beginnings and how far they’ve come, even loving some older songs/styles that I never expected to. As I mentioned, I don’t usually listen to pop or rap/hip-hop… like ever haha. But something about them just reached into my heart and I’ll be forever grateful to them.

I tried what you suggested (waiting on the page) and… the text kinda jumped at one point as though something else had loaded, but nothing else displayed. Am I derping around on the wrong page? \:

edit: I see it in the source code, idk why the toggle isn’t displaying for me 🙃

Yes! I am self learning. I have been doing it on and off for like two years, but the last part of last year I've been doing it most often. However with everything that's going on, it's kind of slowed down and I've just been focusing on what's going on in the world right now. I feel the same. I think if I would have found them before, I don't think I would have liked them as much as I do now. I do have an appreciation for their older music even if I don't listen it to it much. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

Their first two albums I didn't like as much, but everything from then on I'm pretty sure I am obsessed with when I found them out. Lol. I do remember you say that previously that you don't listen to a lot of that style of music. What do you normally like to listen to? I listen to a lot of everything, so I'm not sure if I have a genre that i really stick too. Although, I think in the beginning i listened to a lot of hiphop/rap and alternative stuff. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Then the older i got the more I got into pop music because I found kpop when I was about 17, and it's been stuck to me ever since. Lol. So I don't know I like a lot of music that makes me feel good and I can dance too or sing along with. I think maybe it depends on my mood. Lol . -sparkle 💫✨3/3

I think that’s awesome that you’re working on learning the language on your own! And I understand the challenges of keeping it up independently, especially in such strange and challenging times... I feel guilty that I stopped my daily kanji studying pretty much as soon as I started working from home. It was initially because I used my commute time to study (I’m in a vanpool) and... definitely lost some motivation once everything started changing. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself though for taking a break, and I hope you are not either. I’m hoping to get back into soon and reform some study time habits :)

Yeah it sounds like you’ve been listening to Kpop for a long time! ^^ Aside from my fairly recent BTS obsession, I gravitate toward moodier music in general haha. Evanescence was my instant favorite way back in middle school and... tbh I still listen to their albums sometimes! I tended to like anything indie-ish with piano or rock + orchestra. I loved this European band Within Temptation, their music is like a blend of rock and symphonic orchestra. Nowadays, I love video game music and that’s probably what I listen to the most... Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasyyy), who is probably one of my biggest inspirations for pursuing composition, Austin Wintory (Journey, Abzu, etc), and more recently Jessica Curry (everything the Chinese Room studio made lol). The past few days I’ve been streaming the songs from Death Stranding. I admit I don’t tend to have a lot of variety... I’m kind of picky and when I find something I love, I will listen to that obsessively over and over for months on end. Like BTS. xD No regrets haha! But I know I should broaden my horizons too...

I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, but I know I'll get back into it soon as I set a schedule for myself. Evanescence is amazing, that's all I got to say. I love them so much, so I totally get it. That's interesting though. I love learning about others music interest. It's always so different and diverse from mine. And also, I realized I didn't answer your question about the dash, and for some reason I don't know why it's not showing up. You were in the right place though. -sparkle 💫✨

Yayy glad you like Evanescence! Yes it is amazing and also wonderful that we all have unique tastes. I know I should make a better effort to try out new things, because finding something new that I connect with is amazing (see: BTS hehe).

I'm so excited to meet you next week!! Please take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend 💗

Sometimes it’s harder to really step out the box. So I totally understand, but I’ve always kind of had “weird” taste in different music so I like listening to whatever it is I like! And yes! I can’t to show you what I’m working on. I’m still searching for things for it! Lol. So I hope you like it. Also I hope you have an amazing week! And also a good day! -sparkle ✨💫

I woke up way earlier than planned thanks to this new isolation insomnia, but I was so happy to see your message. 💜 I’m so excited to meet you, but don’t feel like you have to rush on the gift! I know whatever you make will be wonderful. I hope you have a great week too. Do you have any ~weird~ music suggestions? I’ll give them a try!

I totally understand how that is. I hate waking up earlier than I want too because then you don't want to get up out of bed, but then you're too awake to go back to sleep. At least that's how i feel. Hmmm, weird music suggestions? I'm not entire sure. I like Florence and the Machine, FK Twigs (this might be an acquired taste), Panic at the Disco. There's so much I listen too, and my mind is going blank. Lol. -sparkle ✨💫

Yeah, that was my feeling exactly. :( At least I put in a couple extra hours of work, so I’ll get to take a shorter Friday. Or whichever day we try to brave a grocery run.

Thank you, I will check them out! Hehe due to your comment, I am intrigued by FK Twigs. For some reason I couldn’t really get into Panic at the Disco in high school, even though I had friends who loved them, but... I do appreciate that someone made an Emote! at the Location bot on twitter. xD

I hope you are having a good week so far! Tbh mine has been a little gloomy, but... I am really looking forward to meeting you! And finding out if my guess is right haha :’)) Take care dear!

And I loved Panic! They were so good, I still love them or Brendon Urie. Lol. FK Twigs is really good, but I know she's not for everyone. I really enjoy her music honestly. And honestly, I'm just about finished with your gif set. I have to find a few more videos and I'll post it probably tomorrow or later tonight depending on when I finish. And hmm, I don't know I don't think it is, but it shouldn't be long though. however, I'm really curious to know who you think I am. -sparkle ✨💫

EEek I’m so excited!! (Please don’t stay up late just for me though!)

As much as I am terrible at branching out, I do enjoy finding new music I like, so thank you again for the suggestions! I will try to listen with open ears and mind haha. Have you heard of Fleurie? I stumbled across her music when an artist I followed made a piece inspired by some of her lyrics. She might be quite a bit different than the artists you recommended though.

I’m going to feel a little silly if I’m wrong, but I’ll tell you after the reveal so I don’t make a fool of myself early. xD Can I ask you one question – do you know your Myer-Briggs type?

I'll probably go to bed soon. I'm actually in bed. I just got stuck on the tiktok app, and I really shouldn't. I've never heard of her, but I'll have to check her out tomorrow and see what she's about. And yes! I do know my Myers-Briggs type! -sparkle ✨💫

Oops you fell down the internet rabbit hole before bed :) Hope you didn’t stay up too late and got enough rest!

Love and War is the first song I found by Fleurie, and it’s also the title of one of her albums. It’s a little bit older but probably my favorite overall! I love the song Hurts Like Hell. It’s devastating but beautiful.

Have a great day, hope to talk to you more soon! 💜

p.s. I’m INFJ ✨

I did fall down the rabbit hole of the internet. It always happens. Also you should check out Kerli! she's really interesting, and I really like her music. Her music videos are also really nice. Intriguing at most. Lol. And I'm infj too! -sparkle ✨💫

I know the reveal has been made, but I didn’t want to leave this sitting all alone in my inbox.

Thank you, Ash, for taking the time not only to make me a beautiful gift but to talk with me this past month. Thank you for being a light and comfort in these uncertain times. I will miss your little surprise messages, but I hope we keep in touch. Now I will go back to liking your wonderful posts (because I confess I held back once I started to guess who you were, I didn’t want you to be suspicious either HAH). I’ve said it a lot but I really hope you stay safe, healthy, and happy!!  💗✨💫💗

[arpwrites]

💍 Rules of Engagement

Yes, we’re fiancées now + Check out @arpwrites-chats​ for your reply!

Don’t Follow Me:

🔞If you are not 18! Some content here is not suitable for minors.

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If a category is open, please check the relevant masterlist for request guidelines first before heading to my ask!

🔴No for everything

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Check this post.

Don’t Send Me:

❌Your astrological placements without my explicit permission. It gives me executive dysfunction and shuts me down.

👎🏽Asks disrespecting Canon!BTS. Please make a distinction between Fic!Tae and Kim Taehyung otherwise I might misunderstand and delete your message. Disrespectful asks include but are not limited to:

Obscene sexualization. It’s considered obscene if you can’t tweet it on your public twitter that your cool aunt follows.

Invasions of privacy and/or boundaries. 

Hate speech.

🙄Asks about Canon!BTS’s partners or soulmates or twinflames. It’s boring and toxic and drains me.

🔇Unsolicited pitches. Don’t ask me to promote you or check out your posts. I take a look at every single blog that meaningfully interacts with my content. If I like your work, I will tell everyone about it. 

😓Also, I’m really sensitive to people patronizing me/ insulting my intelligence, and also hate it when people try and tell me what my own cards mean. It’s something I’m working on and I’ve gotten a lot better at it and I know it’s not a good look but it’s an instant reaction I can’t control yet. So please be a little careful with how you express your opinion because I can’t help erupting like a volcano when it comes to this. I’m really, truly sorry in advance if I’m disrespectful.

When You Send Me:

☺️Asks saying you hate my work and it sucks, please go into detail about why exactly it’s terrible and how I can improve. 

😇Supportive asks when there’s drama, please know that I very much appreciate your intention, thank you, but I won’t be publishing or publicly replying to your message to avoid propagating the matter.

Please Let Me Know:

🥳What nickname you’d like to claim! These are all the ones that have been taken so far: ALL CAPS anon, art anon, anime anon, black heart anon, cherry anon, chimmy anon, commissions anon, cute paw anon, honey joon anon, pancake anon, pink heart anon, starry anon, sugar anon, twin anon, virgook anon, vulnerable anon, yoonjoon anon

🏷 If there’s anything you need me to tag for you!

Why I Haven’t Replied Yet:

🤖I’m anal about curating my blog so I answered it here! I do this so I don’t spam casual followers’ dashes with our personal conversations.

😪I have no spoons. The truth is I’m an introverted hermit and any type of interaction drains me a lot. Please wait till I have my energy back and don’t judge me while I keep reblogging pics of lil meow meow, I promise it’s to charge me back up.

🥺I have a specific, unnecessarily extra way I want to answer your question and it takes time to make the content I have in mind and/or find the time/energy to answer you in that specific way.

😓I need to do something before answering you and I haven’t done that yet. I’m really rigid and can only do certain things under certain conditions so please be patient and bear with me.

🤯I’m busy doing something else. I can only focus on one thing at a time and I need to finish one thing before moving onto the next and unfortunately, tasks can vary from being 5 minutes long to 5 days long.

😠Tumblr ate your notification/ask. Feel free to check with me if I’m taking too long! This has happened before and I have no problem with double or triple texts.

😭I forgot. This one is really rare but it can happen so please check with me if you’re doubtful.

😡Your ask either broke my rules or insultingly patronized me or gave me bad vibes and I deleted it.

[timetoresurface]

EXCHANGE / JJK (4)

to give something and receive something of the same kind in return

Note: It took me a while to write this part and I'm sorry. I’ve been really busy with work, extra classes and keeping up with all my fictional worlds such as The Avengers, Game of Thrones, ... Also BTS have been so active lately and I don’t want to miss a thing even though I want them to rest. Also show my story some love by reading, liking, reblogging and commenting. Love to hear your thoughts.

Pairing: reader x Jungkook

Genre: romance, non idol AU

Warnings: none

Word count: 2700 words

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / / PART 5 / PART 6 / PART 7

Summary: Yes, you are an exchange student. You noticed EF also organized trips to Seoul and you wanted something different than the same five people in your hometown. You came to the beautiful city to learn and relax, most definitely not to fall in live with one of the teachers. Definitely not the young extracurricular teacher who seemed to be good at everything.

*Y/N = your name *Y/C = your city/country

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Nothing could have prepared you for a dance class taught by Jungkook. You already knew you weren’t a great dancer but apparently you were even worse than you thought you were going to be. Even Alfie was better than you were and he moved as stiff as a wooden plank. 

Maybe you were bad because of Jungkook and his staring eyes. He had chosen a rather cute but sexy song, Likey by TWICE, and you had never felt so uncomfortable in your own skin before. If Alfie hadn’t filled you in about campus gossip that morning, it might not have been such a big deal. But it was. 

Maybe it was because he was such a great dancer and you couldn’t fully focus on moving your own body while following the flow of his. He was a living work or art, his tanned skin so tempting to touch, every move giving away his strength. Maybe it was because of the glaring eyes of the other dancers in the room you stumbled over your own feet. 

“That was great everyone? Let’s do this again this Sunday. If you have some spare time to practice, please do. Exercise is good for your health, definitely when you’re crammed into a study room all day.” Jungkook concluded his class and everyone started to circle around him. You and Alfie were both tired and decided to leave immediately. 

“Well, that was more challenging than I expected.” You confessed.

“Yes, you suck.” Alfie laughed.

“That’s harsh. I’ll practice so next time I will at least be better than you.” This was said with a determinate look on your face.

“You can always ask for some private lessons. Our teacher won’t mind.” A grin spread over Alfie’s face, wide and open, showing his over-whitened teeth.

“See you tomorrow, Alfie.” You said completely ignoring his remark. 

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N! You look better without it. I’ll see you tomorrow in class. Goodnight.” He waived and vanished toward his room, leaving you alone in the cold hallway. You weren’t actually planning to go inside your room but you quickly remembered the blanket you had stolen from Jungkook’s place. You waited for five minutes before leaving your room and sneaking toward Jungkook’s. 

You hid behind doors when someone walked near you. You tried to hide every time you heard an unknown noise behind you. Never in your life had you felt so unsafe before. Nobody was even allowed to get a glimpse of your scheming body. They could create a story more spectacular than the last and you weren’t ready for another round of campus gossip with you or Jungkook as main characters.

“What are you doing?” Someones asked behind you making you fall to the ground. Luckily for you the blanket you carried kind of broke your fall. 

“Oh God, I’m so sorry Y/N.” A panicked Jungkook helped you get up and didn’t want to let you go before checking if nothing was broken or bruised.

“Really Jungkook, I’m fine. I did ask you before to stop surprising me. I scare easily and maybe next time your blanket won’t break my fall.” You brushed the dust off your legs and picked up his blanket.

“Here you go.” You said while handing him back what was rightfully his. “I did technically steal this last time I was here.” He gratefully accepted and leaded you into his room. Well, it is more than a room, it is a studio that’s quite typical in Korea. Ground-floor kitchen, bathroom and living area. Small stairs leading up to his bedroom you suspected. Last time you were here you hadn’t fully paid attention to Jungkook’s private space so you made sure you did now. Something in you wanted to know more about him.

“You are very clean Jungkook. You have lived here for over a year and it is spotless. My room has only been occupied by me for a couple of days and I can barely find my bed.” You complimented him while sitting down on the sofa you had slept on last time you were here. It was still as comfortable as you remembered. The awkward memories of the morning after filled your thoughts and manifested on your cheeks.

“Thank you.” He shyly smiled. “How are we going to do this?” His question made you uncomfortable for a second but then you saw the black hair dye on his dinner table. Yes, you were just going to dye his hair and nothing more. 

“First you will read me the back of the box. So we don’t miss any steps. And also get a towel you’re not really attached to.” This was the beginning of you being bossy and telling Jungkook what to do. He happily obliged and completed every task you gave him with eager puppy eyes. 

Finally, after half an hour or so, he was seated and you stood behind him dying his hair black. It wasn’t a difficult job to do but it did give you some anxiety. What if he didn’t like his black hair and would blame it all on you? What if you didn’t like his black hair, could you look him in the eye and tell him so?

“Don’t worry Y/N. I won’t blame you if I don’t like my hair.” Jungkook suddenly said disturbing your running thoughts. 

“How’d you know?” You silently asked him. 

“You’re suddenly very quiet and what I’ve gathered of information about you, you’re usually the talkative kind.” He tried to look up at you but you pushed down his head while simultaneously working on his hair.

“That sounds quite stalkerish.” That’s what you said but you felt a little bit special that he had taken his time to discover little things about you. 

“I’m not used to talking to girls.” His smile was heard through his little confession.

“You talk to girls for a living, Jungkook. Don’t lie to me.” Pushing back his hair you went and stand in front of him to get a better look at your masterpiece in progress. His beautiful dark brown hair was being replaced by a much darker tone by your hand.

“I usually don’t talk to girls as pretty as you are.” You almost dropped your brush at his remark. He didn’t look up at you. His eyes were wandering everywhere except over to you, who so desperately wanted to make sure this was a joke. You noticed his ears turning red so you just decided to play along and ignore the awkwardness that was comfortably settling around the two of you.

“Well, I haven’t talked to such a handsome guy as you before either. So we’re even.” You giggled while continuing to color his hair. He started to relax again and you could see the tension leaving his body.

“Did you enjoy my dance class?” He asked changing the subject. You just sighed.

“I’m a terrible dancer and I’m sure you noticed. So you were great, but the dancing part not so great.” You blurted out as you had to ventilate to someone and Jungkook was just so easy to talk too.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself Y/N. I thought you were great for a first time and I’ll make sure you’ll improve.” 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” You shyly started. “Have you heard some of the campus gossip?” The last part was whispered. Scared that someone might hear the word ‘gossip’ and would barge into Jungkook’s room looking for the gossip.

“There is always gossip and I can’t keep up with it anymore.” He kept looking at you and his stare felt so much more intense you couldn’t look at him. You just kept dying his hair even though you were almost finished.

“Well, there is gossip about you and kind of about me, you know about us.” Your silent confession created a weird atmosphere between the two of you.

“Did someone see us have dinner?” He asked sharply.

“No, but I’l glad nobody did. The gossip would’ve been worse if someone knew.” Your voice was soft as the hard look in his eyes started to worry you.

“It’s not like I think there is something going on between us. I know that, but not everyone believes the innocence of our conversations. So I think it is better that nobody knows about us secretly hanging out and maybe we should just stop that too.” 

“So you don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” The hurt expression on his face made you doubt you actions for a second. 

“No, that’s not what I meant. We just can’t do stuff alone, you know. We can still hang out in group.” His hair was finished so you walked away from him to clean the stuff you had accidentally touched with the brush in your hand. 

“If that is what you want than I will, because I’m not ready to stop getting to know you.” His words were strengthened by him softly touching your hand and you felt a tingling sensation where he had touched you briefly. 

“Thank you.” Was the only thing that came out of you and luckily he didn’t notice your heart racing in your chest. 

“So what do we do now?” He asked while helping you clean.

“Now we wait for ten minutes or so and then I will rinse your hair to get rid of the product.” You stopped cleaning your hands and moved your body to face him. His features highlighted with his hair pushed back. 

“Let’s play a game.” He cheerfully said with the biggest grin on his face.

“What do you want to play?” You were bit more hesitant as games brought a competitive side out of you, you mostly tried to hide from people.

“Maybe it’s not really a game, but let’s ask each other questions.” The excited look on his face made your insides feel funny, but as always you tried to ignore the feelings Jungkook brought out in you.

“You first.” You said.

“Why are you in Seoul with EF?” 

“I’m obsessed with Korean tv shows so I wanted to see the place where a lot of my favorite dramas are located. And EF offers Korean lessons so maybe in a couple of months I will be able to watch without having to rely on subtitles as much as I do now.” It felt weird to tell him the truth as it sounded so lame and cliche. Maybe next time someones asks you this question, you just lie and make your reason more juicier than it really is.

“So you don’t have like this Asian fetish?” 

“Isn’t it my turn to ask you a question?” You laughed and he blushed. He nodded is head for you to continue. “Why are you in Seoul?”

“To avoid responsibilities and I’m also trying to prove to my parents that I can make it on my own. It’s harder than I expected but on days like this, I’m glad I’m here.” Every time he opened up he showed so much of himself. He was so confident in confiding to you it made you feel like there was something strong connecting the two of you. Something you both felt but couldn’t describe.

“Why is that?” 

“My turn. So answer my last question.”

“No, I don’t have a really weird fetish. I do like the idea of an interracial relationship but I need way too much attention for it to ever really work. Now you answer my question.” Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything about relationships as you felt like you had just courted him.

“I’m always busy and most of my friends are in Busan. So on days like this when I get to hang out with someone fun, someone I just met, I’m really glad I made it to Seoul.” His confession warmed your heart. He was you as someone fun, as someone who was worth spending time with. It had been a while that someone had said something like that to you.

“Have you had a lot of relationships?” He asked while fumbling with his hands.

“I had a few but only one that was meaningful, you know.” It still was a bit hard for you to talk about your last relationship even though it had been over more than a year.

“No, I really don’t. I never really had a real relationship. Only a few dates but no one really caught me into a real working relationship.” 

“Maybe for the better. Heartbreak is really the worst and nobody deserves it.”

“Have you experienced heartbreak?” His eyes filled with worry as he asked his question.

“Let’s not talk about these painful subjects.” You said while looking at the time. “I think ten minutes have already passed so I should rinse out the product.” He quickly stood up and made his way toward the bathroom. You hadn’t talked about how you were going to remove the product out of his hair but you thought the best option was in his kitchen sink.

“Where are you going?” You asked him confused. You followed him into his bathroom and you caught him taking off his shirt. He turned around and you sucked in a sharp breath as his shirtless torso was exposed to you. You were shocked, stunned, amazed, mesmerized by his physique. It was like nothing you've ever seen before. His body was drool-worthy. His abdominals were sculptured to perfection instantly giving off the impression that he came out of a Calvin Klein shoot.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“I don’t want my shirt to get wet. You already ruined my towel with your unsteady hand.” His face showed a smirk on his god like face, casting a spell of lust to eyes that dare to look his way. He put on the shower and water started pouring out of the shower head he had just given to you. He bowed down so you could easily rinse all of the remaining product out of his hair. 

You did your best to not touch him but your hand found its was to his shoulder to steady you. Your hand also travelled through his dyed black hair to wash it clean. He handed you his shampoo and you started to wash his hair while he held the running shower head for you. The actions were more intimate than you had first accepted his offer to dye his hair, but you weren’t complaining. No, you were really enjoying the feeling of your hands running through his hair? You appreciated your view of his bare back while his muscles tensed every time you accidentally touched him.

“I’m all done.” You said while turning off the shower. You gave him a new fresh towel so he could wipe the water from his face.

“What do you think?” He asked you. With is hair all wet and pushed back he looked almost god like, but you weren’t going to tell him that.

“You look extremely good with black hair, Jungkook. I’ll give you my final grading tomorrow when I can admire your new hair in day light.” His ears turned red but his eyes shone bright because of your compliment.

“I’ll get going now. It’s late and I’m still tired from yesterday.” 

“I’ll walk you to your room.” He offered while putting back on his shirt.

“You don’t have to do that. Remember the campus gossip I told you about?” These words saddened his face a bit but he seemed understanding.

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Thank you so much for helping me.” His hand was massaging the back of his neck out of nervousness and the cuteness was almost too much to handle.

“My pleasure.” Were your final words before you stepped out the door in the cold hallway. He kept standing in his doorway before you were completely out of view. Somehow it felt like the both of you were closer than before even though you wanted to accomplish the opposite. Even though you asked him to stay away, your heart wanted him to keep on bugging you with silly questions.