#thanks food anxiety

[u-friend-or-ufo]

When you force yourself to eat so much, you start crying and feel like your going to throw up...

[holographic-mars]

Ok, just read the post about energon siphoning, and energon scarcity, so i bring you.. Soundwave being a food hoarder/having food anxiety.

Think about it, thag fear of him and him cassettes not having enough to eat is probably still very real in his mind, so, he hoards energon 'just in case'. He tells no one but the cassettes and Cosmos, because, "if theres not enough energon, i have something prepared"

YES,, I LOVE BEING UNDERSTOOD YALL GET ME YALL GET ME

I have had the hc that soundwave has a complicated relationship with food for like. Ages and it makes me so happy to finally be able to yap about it.

Soundwave with food anxiety is real and true and he absolutely hoards rations of energon just in case. He’s weird about how much he eats and what he eats (additives n stuff in energon, in the Dead End it isn’t uncommon for bad mechs to sell spoiled energon or laced energon) and keeps in the back of his processor how he can split his own ration to support his cassettes and cosmos even if it’s not necessary. He also makes sure everyone else has started fueling before he does.

Additional note: Starscream also hoards food with a similar mindset to keep enough fuel himself and for his trine. He has a stash of emergency fuel that he keeps under his and bumblebee’s berth.

[sickficideas]

I always yap about Akutagawa being the sick one, but something about Atsushi being sick in front of Aku has my HEAAART… like I’m one to think that Atsushi gets anxious and stuff when sick, and idk I feel like that maybe brings out some of his abandonment issues (canon?? Idk but. Heh. I said so😛)… and he’s probably crying and freaking out and Akutagawa is just like…?? It’s not that deep??? Until he realizes WHY UGH UGH UGH!! Anyways, Akutagawa rubbing Atsushi’s back while he cries and throws up☝️

-Silly anon

you're RIGHT I love these two because you can switch who is sick and it's always so good...Akutagawa is always getting onto Atsushi about letting go of the past and working on his trauma (hes a massive hypocrite but Atsushi does not know this) so Atsushi tries REALLY hard to keep it cool when he starts feeling sick. Telling himself he'll be okay and Akutagawa won't care, he's seen Akutagawa sick plenty of times anyway !! but it hits him kinda hard and fast because of how much he's overthinking it and he Cannot hide it anymore. He's so nauseous and he can't breathe from how much he's thinking about how he doesn't wanna throw up. Akutagawa being kind of like you know I don't care about that stuff you should throw up if it'll help you feel better stop being a baby🙄🙄 but slowly realizing through Atsushi's irratic behavior that this stems from some deep rooted shit he went through at the orphanage😭😭 so Atsushi's sobbing when he finally throws up against his will, and all Akutagawa can do is try to act as nonchalant as possible because he quietly understands the last thing Atsushi needs is any heightened emotion around him of any kind....Akutagawa just rubs his back and reminds him to breathe and he secretly feels bad for him😔😔😔 Akutagawa is sick all the time and he's learned to deal with it to the point where he doesn't care, but Atsushi cannot handle it mentally at all

[pixlokita]

Someone: why are your hands shaking so much?

Me: oh i just have some anxiety.

Them: hahah, in olden times a good slap to the face would have fixed that right away.

Me:

Me: okay?

[wyllesbian]

I don’t really know how it happened but it seems I’m getting a kitten today. I will share pictures. They think it’s a girl, and from what I’ve been told I think it’s 4-5 weeks old. (omg.. litel baby..)

[good-beanswrites]

And here's one with Weak for Fuuta and Amane, for anon! I've recently been going crazy over some ideas from posts about Fuuta and food and he and Amane's relationship, and they came together perfectly with the prompt -- thank you for the request 👀👀👀

“Can you be quiet for one minute?” 

Fuuta spun around from where he’d been complaining loudly about the food, with his mouth full of it, to find Amane glaring from beside him.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he said through bites. He paused to swallow, though. And take a sip of his drink. And then forgot was he was talking about anyway.

Amane returned to mouthing a blessing over her food. The annoyance in her expression melted away to serenity as she brought her hands together. Fuuta watched as she drew herself up. Then she ate calmly. He could have crumbled in shame, right then, at the thought of this tiny kid holding up better than himself. 

She, too, had experienced the punishments that came with their verdict. Restraints pulled so tight it’s hard to breathe. Long nights of maddening voices and watchful eyes. The smaller meal portions leading to shaky limbs. Fuuta spent every meal inhaling as much as he could as soon as he could -- and here Amane sat as if she had a perfectly content stomach. Through everything, she maintained her strong gaze and commanding voice.

Fuuta reminded himself she did have a few advantages over him. She still had all her eyes and ribs intact, for one. It was difficult to give someone a convincing stinkeye with only one eye.

While he continued shoveling down his meal, he noticed her separating things on her plate. The meat in the corner went completely untouched. 

The aforementioned treatment had made him irritable -- more irritable than usual, that is -- and he jabbed his utensils at her. “Hey, we talked about this. Eat your fucking meat. I’ve been eating my vegetables, yeah?” Not that he wanted to. He would have eaten just about anything they put in front of him if it kept the gnawing hunger at bay.

“It’s against my beliefs,” she said simply. 

“I thought suicide was, too.”

She raised her chin. “I’ve known plenty who have fasted and become stronger for it. This is nothing drastic.”

Fuuta grit his teeth. He’d witnessed his fair share of internet-goers who acted cruel about another’s religion. He wasn’t about to join them in being some piece of shit who forced her to do something that was against her code. But there was no way he was going to sit around and watch her starve herself, either.

He couldn’t blame Amane for how harshly she’d refused help from the others -- they coddled her, encouraging her with sweet talk, or tried an insufferable stern parental tone. Fuuta wasn’t cut out for any of those methods, anyway. What he did know how to do, however, was make threats. 

Even if Amane didn’t fear death, he knew there was one situation she would do absolutely anything to avoid. 

“Oi, if you get any weaker, Shidou’s gonna step in.” Her frown twitched. “He’s already harassed me and Mahiru about our meals. He saw my hand shake one time and hasn't stopped hounding me about it since. The minute he can tell you’re not eating enough, he’ll be all over you. And let me tell you, you’re not very subtle about it.” 

The final statement came out with more bite than intended. Maybe he was bitter that she was at least more subtle than him. Maybe he thought it was fucked up the way she, too, had grown visibly weaker. Maybe he was just hungry and tired of talking. He attacked another mouthful of food. 

Amane was searching her plate as if the answer could be found there. There was a long silence as she contemplated. Fuuta had thought he’d won until she shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

He rolled his eyes and head in an over dramatic show of exasperation. “So stubborn!”  When he was done chewing, he picked up his plate. “Fine.” He gathered up all that was left, dumping it onto hers with a flick. 

A fire ignited in her gaze. She shoved the dish away. “I’m not some weak child to be pitied.”

“Wha–? It’s not pity!”

“You think I’m weak.”

“I think you’re hungry!”

“You don’t know anything!”

Mikoto passed by, chuckling as they raised their voices. “Look at you two hotheaded kids. Do I need to break it up?”

“Go away!” they chorused.

“Alright, sheesh…” He kept walking, leaving the pair to stew in silence. 

Fuuta didn’t have it in him to fight today. He was tired. He ached all over. If she wasn’t going to appreciate his help, so be it. He was starting to get used to his good intentions being taken the wrong way. It looked like he was just the weak one, after all. He grabbed his empty plate and stood to leave.

“Fuuta.” Amane took a deep breath. “I am hungry.” She gestured for him to come back. Then she moved the meat from her plate onto his.

He eyed the offering, hoping his expression didn’t betray how desperately he wanted to scoff it down. “I’m not some asshole who’s gonna take your food.”

“You’re not taking it. I’m giving it. I would have thrown it out otherwise.” Amane picked up some of the vegetables. “In return, I will eat this. We both must stay strong for the ordeals ahead.”

After a moment of hesitation, Fuuta sat back down. He took a bite. Neither said a proper thank you. Neither needed one.

He glanced to Amane with a smirk. “Good. This way, we’ll both keep that geezer Shidou away.”

It was only for a moment, but for the first time since the second trial began, Fuuta could have sworn her lips slipped into a small smile. 

[crispycreambacon]

Been feeling really upside-down smiling emoji lately 🙃

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! I have a request about Zombi au👀 how about when they settled into the new place they meet up with druig and Makkari and they we're just all getting along in the instant and one time they having lunch conversation Makkari suddenly tell how Ikaris roughly handled thena on the supply run when Gil is still pass out and then Gil is not happy about it that thena needed to calm him down before he could kill the guy and assure him she already handled it. Thankyou ❣️❣️❣️

"Hey, you."

"Hey," Thena looked up as Gil circled behind her, his hand drifting over her shoulder as he sat down with a tray of food. "How's cooking duty?"

"Getting there," Gil answered simply. "I don't have the best inventory yet, but there haven't been any complaints."

"I'll say, this shite is better 'an anythin' we've had yet!"

"Gil, this is Druig," Thena introduced, only after Druig had taken the liberty of complimenting the food and then loudly shovelling in another bite. "He also worked here under Ajak in the beginning of things. He worked in psychiatry apparently, but he also is quite good with agriculture."

Gil smiled at the man eating like he had been famished for days, and then at the woman who gave him a cheeky kind of wave and smirk. "Uh, hey."

"Makkari," Thena smiled, putting down her fork and raising her hands. "She's deaf, but she's their top runner. She can cross the entire city in two hours, apparently."

"Whoa, that seems," Gil furrowed his brows, but Makkari grinned, signing something back to Thena. He would have to ask her to teach him during their off hours.

"She was a track champion, she says," Thena smiled, translating in real time as Makkari's hands flew at lightning speed. "She could have gone national if she hadn't been disqualified."

"Disqualified," Gil looked at them both, but Makkari didn't seem particularly bitter about it. She lifted her arms and made bunny ears with her opposite hands, a few times even.

Thena laughed, shaking her head as well as she lifted her fork for another bite, "stealing."

Makkari practically rolled right out of the cafeteria seat in her laughter at Gil's face.

"Extra food," Druig clarified, relieving Thena of translation duty. "Don't worry, she won't nick any of your valuables."

Makkari gave him a wink and a shrug.

"She won't," Thena raised her eyes at the woman across from her (across from Druig, really, but in her eye line). "Because she likes you."

Gil smiled sheepishly, picking at the meal he himself had prepared. "That's what everyone says when they're hungry."

Thena nudged him gently, under the table and away from the eyes of their new comrades. "You know very well that's not true."

He finally took a bite of food, looking around at those whom Thena had befriended in her short time here and without him. She didn't usually end up talking to people, let alone liking them. "How was the run today?"

"It was okay," she smiled, eyes searching him for a deeper worry under his light tone. "Makkari and I went into some higher hotel rooms close by--I told them about the mini-fridge trick."

"I can't believe we never considered 'em," Druig said with only half a mouth full this time, "all this time."

"Thena's smart like that," Gil praised freely and openly, looking at the woman beside him instead of eating his bean salad. Not that she noticed.

It could have gone better.

Thena did look up at Makkari but didn't bother speaking up, resuming eating instead.

Gil frowned at her, "what?"

"It's nothing," she shrugged, reaching for her bottle of water.

Makkari looked at Gil, it did go well, until a certain someone started arguing with Thena over whether to take the stairwells or use a dumbwaiter system in the elevator shafts to get the supplies down.

Gil leaned behind Thena, asking Druig with his eyes to please translate for him.

Druig looked at Makkari, and then at Thena, who must have given him a hell of an expression. He swallowed his massive bite slowly. "Uh, well, it was mostly smooth sailin', apparently. Nothin' to worry about, big fella."

Gil frowned, though. He put his fork down and slid his tray away from him, only so he could slide Thena's tray away from her. She stared at the table, as if trying to figure out what had happened to her meal. She turned and looked at him the way she would look at the devil himself. "Thena?"

She just glared at him, lips pursed (cutely). "It was nothing."

He slid her tray even further away from her. He knew there wasn't much that could break the iron will of the Goddess of War. But withholding her food - so long as it was made by him, which was kind of sweet - was the one way. "Thena, what happened?"

She eyed the tray, knowing he would not make getting it back easy. A faint huff escaped her as she tossed her fork down, "Ikaris and I got into it, nothing worth dragging up again."

"What do you mean," Gil said quietly and evenly, his hands already tightening around the edges of her tray, "got into it?"

"Blondie here is cocky, that's what she means."

"Ikaris, not now," she turned in her seat, all too prepared to bark at him about minding his own business. "It's water under the bridge."

He glared her down, though, crossing his leanly muscled arms at her in his navy t-shirt. "I said we should use a dumbwaiter to get the food up and down. But GI Jane here said it would be better to carry the shit all 'emselves down seventeen fuckin' flights of stairs."

"You can't rely on the cables in elevator shafts anymore!"

"Okay, okay," Kingo patted Ikaris' shoulder beside him, "don't wanna go starting this again."

Gil stood. "What happened?"

"Uh," Kingo looked around, as if he would find a glowing door that would help him escape another scuffle.

"What," Gil repeated, having no problem standing nose to nose with the obstinate guard, "happened?"

Ikaris looked down at Thena, who was still seated, determined not to rise to his bait (as Gil was). He scoffed, "she's savvy out there, but she's got wee arms to be doin' heavy liftin', no? I got my hand around her whole bicep."

Gil tilted his head faintly, trying to absorb what Ikaris was saying. He had held Thena's arm? He had held her by the arm? He had gripped her by the arm? He had fit his entire hand around Thena's slim upper arm?

"If she bruises it's only 'cause she has as much meat on those bones as a pigeon."

Gil grabbed Ikaris by the front of his shirt, backing him up into the seats behind them. Ikaris' knees bent, making him grab the edge of the table behind him. Gil leaned over him heavier. "Don't you ever touch her!"

"Gil!" Thena rose, eager to intervene as others in the cafeteria started gasping and whispering.

"Don't ever put your hands on her!" Gil roared in the guy's face. He didn't care. He didn't care that he was making a scene or making a powerful enemy. He didn't care if he got kicked out for this. "If anything - anything - ever happens to her out there I will kill you!"

"Easy!" Kingo yelled, trying to pry the much larger, much stronger Gil away.

"Come on!" Druig growled, also trying to drag Gil away from Ikaris.

"I mean it!" Gil barked at him, "if anything ever happens to her it's your head!"

"Gilgamesh!" Thena moved between them, pushing against his chest as Kingo and Druig attempted to pull him by the arms. She pressed her fingers into the divet between his pectoral muscles. "Stop it!"

He was out of steam, anyway. But he was still glaring at Ikaris as he picked himself up, huffing and glaring, obviously ready to go on if he was let go. Gil was all but panting, light headed from the adrenaline rushing through him. He couldn't help it. All he felt was rage looking at this bastard.

"Gil," Thena attempted, raising her hand to his cheek and forcing him to look at her, "hey."

He blinked, the edges of his vision expanding again.

"Look at me," she whispered, her thumb against his cheek, "I'm right here."

She was right here, unharmed.

"I'm fine," she assured him, making him look at her instead of over her head at the man he was frankly ready to beat to death.

Gil carefully raised his hands. He knew everyone was watching him. They had seen him lose it twice now, if not more, considering how long he was out of it during his recovery. They probably thought he was some monster of a man.

But he ran his hands over Thena's arms gently, as if just touching her would make the bruising that asshole was talking about appear before his very eyes. Her skin was so soft. "Y-Yeah?"

She nodded, still holding him, grounding his senses in her instead of his rapid heartbeat and boiling blood. "Yeah."

Gil let go of a long breath, letting the rest of his energy leave him. He was exhausted, and he was still on dinner and cleanup duty for the night. "Okay."

Thena smiled, satisfied that he was feeling calmer about the whole thing. She let him pull her closer until she was tucked against his chest, which he would argue was the safest place in the world for her. She pressed her cheek against his clavicle and the collar of his t-shirt under his unbuttoned flannel. "It's okay, Gil."

Druig stepped away from him tentatively, hands still at the ready, "all right, then."

"Come on," Kingo patted Ikaris as he picked himself up. He looked at Thena and Gil, neither apologising nor condemning them. "Let's go."

Ikaris did give them one last glare before storming off.

Gil watched him go. He didn't like that guy, no matter how nice Sersi was. But once he was far away enough, he resumed burying his nose in Thena's hair. "Sorry."

She rubbed his back, as if soothing him after a nightmare, "you're okay."

"What is going on in here?!"

Thena pulled away, looking up at Gil with wide eyes. He was not to say a word.

"S-Sorry," Druig stood as Ajak made her way over. "Me'n Ikaris...y'know."

Ajak gave him a look, but the fact that she so readily believed him really spoke to how well the guard got along with most here in the hospital colony. "How many times, Druig?"

"Aye aye," he nodded, like a teenager getting scolded after curfew. He sat himself back down, "won't make a peep, mother dearest."

Ajak just rolled her eyes at him, despite what she claimed to be a very strict rule about in-fighting. She looked at Gil, leaning against Thena's shoulders. "Everything okay?"

She most definitely knew that it was Gilgamesh involved in the fight, not Druig.

Gil smiled, hiding his fists in his armpits, "great!"

"Hm," she pinched her lips together, at him and then at Thena, "I trust the matter was resolved?"

Thena just nodded, but Ajak seemed to accept the silent promise to her that the fighting was at least done for now.

"Right," the doctor sighed before rushing away to her next fire that needed squashing, her white coat flaring behind her.

Thena looked up at him. "That was too close for comfort, wouldn't you say?"

Speak for yourself, that was the most fun I've had all week!

Thena just glared at the petty thief and friend across from her.

He sighed, sitting down with her and trying to ignore the stares focused on them. He slide their trays over again, half pushing his into her space for her to take what she liked from him. "Sorry."

Thena nudged Druig's shoulder faintly as she picked up her fork again, neither looking at each other, "thanks."

"Nothin'," Druig shrugged, also not looking as he resumed eating his corn (while Makkari resumed stealing bites of his canned fruit).

"You sure I can't come with you?" Gil asked her gently, no longer having any appetite. He hovered closer to her than necessary, even running the back of his knuckles up and down her bare arm. "I'm no 'you', but I'd be better than that guy."

Makkari nodded eagerly.

"That's for Ajak to decide," Thena said gently to dissuade him from his overprotective argument. "And besides, who would make these delicious meals then?"

He sighed. She was appealing to the chef in him, but he would rather crawl through filth with her than serve a hundred strangers his best three course meal. "Come on."

"Not to pick sides, but T's right, big guy," Druig piped up, again with his mouth full. T? "I ain't eaten like this in a dog's age, and I bet the rest of 'em here'll get how invaluable you are right quick."

No one else here talked like that.

"I can handle myself," Thena assured him more quietly. She even let him pull her knee so her thigh could rest against his. "You don't think I would let him grab me and not nail him right in the nuts, do you?"

Gil chuckled. No, of course she had gotten in a shot directly to his biggest weakness. That was the Goddess of War he knew (and loved). Thena leaned in gently as he pressed a kiss to her hair, "of course not."

[roboraindrop]

I am GOING to do art today, so help me f/os

[crayonurchin]

im 23 and you won’t CATCH me at a club but here are some questions i ask myself when im considering saying no to plans: what about this sounds stressful? will i be able to get quiet time or even *leave* if i am not enjoying myself? are there people with me who recognize when i’m not having fun who will check in with me? will i be able to access what i need to regulate (food, water, meds, whatever) during the event? <- these usually give me a much better idea of why i dont want to go and if i should push through. if it sounds mid, i dont know anyone, and cant leave, im not gonna even try. best of luck !!

Okay this is legit really good advice, and thank you for it <3

I already have security in leaving because I don't drink, so at any point I could drive home. And I do think that some of the aesthetics would be fun.

But staying up SO late, paying a fair bit of money, wearing uncomfortable clothes, blasting lights but also really dark and (big thing for me) music I don't like, are all parts of it.

Also people get mad emotional at these things I find, and I don't want to be around drunk crying or shouting or over-affection or- any of it.

Thank you for reminding me to use 'grounding' questions. Still got some wobbly emotions about it but that's okay, I prefer a wobble to a spiral <3

[hyah-lian]

I am going on an adventure in the morning I am so excited less than 12 hours

[mars-ipan]

was super overwhelmed earlier trying to schedule out my meds bc i have 6 new prescriptions plus my standard home meds i’m trying to keep track of. took a nap which helped and i’m less freaked out now but i am for sure still waugh frazzled

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[nonbinary-niki-bog]

Are you doing okay Niki?

oh, i'm fine. i just wish the anxiety feeling would just disappear (and there are a few things that i can think of to make it disappear ^v^)

i just have presentations that i have to do that i don't want to T^T.

[rosemirmir]

Today has been a really nice and chill birthday, which I'm grateful about ^^

[the-voice-of-night-vale]

social anxiety can be really funny in retrospect bc it will have you saying shit like 'is it weird to call a doctor's office and schedule an appointment?"with 100% sincerity and panicking about it as if that's not the silliest thing in the world