#thanks again!! i had a lot of fun answering these :)

[attilarrific]

Okay, as a librarian in a major metropolitan area, I've seen this go around a bunch. I've had this sent to me several times as a fun joke. And while upstairs is DEFINITELY right that this is part of a massive ongoing anti-library smear campaign by the right (and if you just went, "wait, what," well. Have I got news for you), I have something else to say that I kind of keep waiting for someone else to say for me, but this post keeps going around and no one says it.

Yes. Fuck's sake. Yes. People are having sex and doing drugs at the library.

Ask any public librarian in, again, a major metropolitan area (possibly other areas, but I'm just not knowledgeable there), and they will go, "Yes, obviously. Yes, obviously, we do our best, but shit fucking sucks, please fund us better so we can better connect these people with helpful resources."

Fucking---this isn't really the point, but I have people at the library say things to me like, "You must have the easiest job in the world," because they assume all I do is, like, read at work or something. And no. No, I fucking do not. You are wrong about what libraries are.

And you're sort of wrong in a fun way, because libraries do a lot of incredible stuff you aren't aware of, like events and concerts and interlibrary loan and expungement clinics and tech loaning and makerspaces and so just so much more. Check out your local library. I guarantee you they do things you never would've thought.

But you're also wrong in a not-so-fun way, because being the third place that you don't have to pay to be in isn't always fucking pretty, okay. Public service and community spaces aren't the utopian bastions you imagine.

So, yes. People come in drunk off their asses. People do drugs in the bathrooms (so much that in some libraries, the librarians are getting Narcan training). People shit outside of the bathrooms, sometimes because they're drunk or high, but not always. People are having sex. They masturbate in the study rooms or the stacks or just out in the open until someone stops them, they watch porn on the public computers.

And yes, the library workers get to deal with that. And it fucking sucks.

But also FUCK Fox News, because the answer is not "libraries have become a problem," the question is when and why we became the only place everyone could go. Why we got stuck with all of it, becoming all things to all people. And the question isn't how we can force people out of libraries or close libraries (because clearly we're disgusting houses of iniquity, and if you remove the house, the iniquity evaporates with it), it's how we can actually fucking connect people with services that libraries can't (and shouldn't have to!) provide. Like housing. Medical assistance. Mental health services. Career services. So much more.

But yes. For the love of god. Libraries are drug-infested sex dens. Yes, we'd like to do something about that.

If someone could help us instead of laughing at the thought, that would be fantastic, thanks.

So Fox News ran a story about how they think libraries are turning into drug-infested sex dens and I am shocked, shocked that I was never offered any drugs during my 15+ years working in libraries.

[goldenroutledge]

if tomorrow never comes

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!reader

word count: 2.0k

prompt: ❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜. based on this request.

summary: in which you and carlos drift apart and the tension boils over on your anniversary.

a/n: i’m having so much fun writing these requests! thank you to everyone requesting :)

masterlist || be my valentine blurb event 💌

“When do you think you can be here, Carlos?”

His voice is tight on the other end of the line, knowing that you won’t like the answer. “An hour. Ninety minutes tops.”

You want to scream out and repeat his answer back to him so loudly that he can hear from the balcony of your shared apartment. It’ll let all of Monaco know how ridiculous he sounds. The flight attendant’s presence at the other end of the cabin helps you keep your composure. “And you’re sure that’s it? One hour?”

“Yes cariño, I promise.”

“Don’t call me that when I’m annoyed with you.”

“Can’t help it.” Carlos smiles cheekily, you can hear it in his voice. You can’t help but roll your eyes, feeling that he’s not taking you seriously. Postponing time spent together, sometimes venturing into canceling dates altogether, was becoming too frequent for your liking. But patience had to be your strong suit dating Carlos. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah. See you soon.” You end the call abruptly, leaving him to a last minute business meeting while you’re sitting here, awaiting your boyfriend on the private jet he has abandoned. Then again it would only be considered abandoned had he shown up on time to begin with.

He’d returned home from training yesterday exhausted as ever, yet reassured you with the promise that you two would spend a few days on a quiet getaway for your anniversary. Just the two of you, alone together. A trip you’d been planning for weeks now, with the need to make it an anniversary you’d always remember. If getting away was what it took to get Carlos to relax again, to be with you free of any distractions from work, you’d do that.

Carlos regards his career with a dedicated spirit, diligently organizing his schedule to make sure nothing falls between the cracks. His training, his sponsorships, his future at Williams… As badly as he feels to leave you waiting, duty calls. A last minute Zoom meeting with a new sponsor held him back at the apartment for longer than he anticipated. While most people have already resigned themselves to the fact that they can’t have it all, Carlos Sainz is not most people. He’ll either have everything, or die trying. It’s one of the many traits you love about him. Your heart aches at the thought of it being what tears you apart.

“Champagne?” The flight attendant offers you the drink, one of two that was meant for your celebratory toast with Carlos to kick off your anniversary trip.

“Thank you, it’s been a long day.” The flight attendant gives you a sympathetic smile, watching you down the drink with no effort. If this keeps up, it’ll be a long weekend too.

–

Once Carlos finally joins you on the plane, his ask for forgiveness is difficult to deny. He brought you a bouquet of flowers so large they took up their own seat on the plane, and he hadn’t stopped showering you with love since he arrived. Something about making up for lost time, he’d mumbled into your ear when you questioned his overwhelming affection. The colors of the flowers tied in beautifully with your outfit; Carlos was sure to capture it with a few photographs.

His attention to detail was another thing that you loved about him, it drew you in everytime. When you’re together like this, free of the outside noise, you wish it could last forever. Always on the other end of the phone or outside the airplane window is something ready to whisk him away. Ideally, an anniversary spent with him would consist of a lazy morning making breakfast together, simply basking in each other’s company.

His company was hard to enjoy when you were barely experiencing it, now sitting alone at your anniversary dinner hours later. Your mood turned sour when Carlos excused himself to take a call, walking away from the table before you had a chance to express your distaste. The tension that had been simmering between you two was bound to bubble over once again as Carlos returned to your table with a guilty look, phone to his ear as he ended his call with his cousin/manager.

You didn’t bother to look up, taking your anger out on your meal instead, poking and prodding the food with your silverware. It was a delicious meal that did nothing to deserve a brutal assault by fork and knife, ruining its picturesque presentation.

“Mi amor, I’m sorry.”

“Did you know that the more you say those words, the more they lose their significance each time?”

He sighs, running a stressed hand through his dark hair. “You know the kind of pressure that I’m under right now, cariño. How much this year has worn on me in general. Please, I just need you to be a little more-”

“Understanding? Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.” You cut him off harshly, and the look you give him across the table is worth flinching from.

“You have. And I feel terrible, but it won’t last forever.” He attempts to soothe your worries, reaching for your hand. You don’t accept or deny his touch, you’re just still. It sends a shiver down his spine.

“You’re right, Carlos. It won’t last forever. You’ll make sure of it.”

“What do you mean by that? You think we’re going to break up?”

“I’m saying that if you don’t make time to nurture our relationship, there won’t be a relationship left! I’ve been here, Carlos. For you, for us, while juggling my own life and career, so don’t tell me it’s impossible. There was a time when you balanced it all before, when you weren’t working yourself to the bone because you decided you have something more to prove to the world.”

“I’m trying to balance everything, but it’s not always going to be smooth sailing. You know it’s not easy.”

“I know it’s not. I don’t need it to be, but I miss the days when you felt like our relationship was worth making time for. When I wasn’t the last of your priorities.”

“Maybe I miss the days when you understood that I’m not always going to be available for you 24/7.” Carlos rants, feeling defensive at how this time, the gloves are off, you’re finally letting Carlos feel the weight of the burden you’ve been carrying– loving enough for the two of you. Your pounding heart reminds you that it’s impossible to carry on like this. Something has to give. “Do you realize how much time I’m spending away from training to be with you? Is that not making time for our relationship?”

Tears prick your eyes in frustration, the air suddenly feeling warmer than before. Your nervous system begs you to get out of there, to leave the conversation before either of you say something you’ll regret. If it hasn’t been said already. “You still don’t get it, do you? I don’t even need any of this! I just want you! I remember the days when that wasn’t too much to ask for.”

Your hand has long dropped his, and Carlos’ eyes widen in panic as he watches you move out of your chair. “Amor, stay. Please, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Confliction moves through you like a strike of lightning, torn between staying to talk it through or taking a moment of space, after pouring out the feelings you’d spent so much time locking away. The last straw is when your waiter approaches your table, holding a small cake in his hands. On the top of it is a picture of you and Carlos together on your first anniversary, more content and in love than ever. A candle burns on the cake and wax melts down the sides, resembling the tears that wish to fall. Carlos’ eyes plead with guilt, begging you to stay and forget. Smile and pretend that right now, you’re still that happy couple printed on the cake.

Instead, you throw your napkin to your plate. “I need some air.”

–

Carlos watches you go, he doesn’t stop you. A timeout will do you both some good right now. He tries to tell himself that it’s not that bad. Couples fight. But he sits there, sullen, knowing that he’s fucked up this time. His heart burns as he stares at the picture of you two on the cake. It’s unbearable, and that little surprise he orchestrated now feels like a pointed joke at his expense. He blows out the candle and the light goes out. But closing his eyes won’t help his fear of the dark. Even he can’t run from this.

He finds you outside of the restaurant, sitting on a bench, staring down into the renewing waters of the fountain. It’s mesmerizing, the way you can drown in the sight and get lost in the calming sound. He slides his jacket off and wraps it around your shoulders.

“I’m sorry, mi amor. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just have a lot on my plate. But that’s no excuse to put our relationship on the backburner. I’m so, so sorry.” Carlos presses a chaste kiss to your temple, and feels comforted by how you subtly lean into his space. It’s a step. “I love you, and I’m going to listen to you. I want to make this better because there’s not a life for me without you in it. I need you, cariño. I want to be with you, always.”

“I’ve felt so disconnected from you lately and being here on our anniversary, reminded of all the happier times we’ve shared, I just… that scares me. I’m scared we won’t get back there if there’s any more distance between us.”

“I should’ve seen it sooner. The truth is, I am able to do what I do because you’re always there. You support me when things are up, when they’re down. When I lost my seat, when I got sick with appendicitis, when I won races… you’re there for it all. I took you for granted thinking that I could give everything I have to my career, when it’s you who deserves it.”

“You do give it everything, but I think you’ve lost sight of things a little bit. Usually you give me everything you have too, I mean the little cake with us on it… I love that you did that for me, Carlos. I’m only so upset because I love you too.”

Those words haven’t stopped echoing in his mind. He swears he’ll engrave them into his brain forever, as long as you’re happy. “Maybe I have been overcompensating a little bit, feeling pressure to make things perfect in my career. The year has been difficult, but I couldn’t have gotten through without you.”

You kiss his cheek, warming up to his affectionate words. He’s sincere, he truly means them. “You’re more than enough, Carlos. Just the way you are. Weathering the storm isn’t always easy but there’s nobody else I’d rather be with either.”

“Can we start over?”

“I’d love nothing more.”

“I have an idea. Should I throw my phone into the fountain, cariño? You’ll have my undivided attention for days.”

“Tempting, but no. Keep your phone dry, my love. Would you be opposed to going back to the villa? Enjoying the rest of the night in?”

Carlos wiggles his brows, as he recognizes that familiar glint in your eyes. One that shimmers with hope and longing. “We do have a pretty sweet cake being boxed up as we speak.”

“Maybe we can light the candle again? I promise I won’t leave the room this time.” Your hearts soar at the thought of blowing out your candle together, hands held as you make a new promise to each other. The past years together have been bliss and the rainbows have always shined through the cloudy skies. The next years together, you will wish for the same and even more.

“Anything for you, cariño. Happy Anniversary.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaving you with no choice but to cup his jaw and bring your lips to his. The cool breeze outside is no match for either of you– you’ve got your love to keep you warm.

“Happy Anniversary, Carlos.”

💌: thanks for reading! reblogs & comments are very much appreciated :)

taglist: @marjorieswrld

[gold-onthe-inside]

blind date

who? spencer reid (s8) x blake!reader summary: you finally give into your godmother's insistence on going on a date with her colleague, if only to get her off your back, and find yourself having to break the heart of someone who could have been the love of your life. content warnings: not a happy ending (i warned you, you don't get to yell at me), reader is blake's goddaughter and a therapist. word count: 2.1k

You let out a slow breath before entering the restaurant, smoothing down your dress, still second-guessing your outfit - a purple dress matched with a dark velvet jacket and a black purse with a gold chain belt - as if you hadn’t spent your day looking up what women in their 30s wore on first dates. Not like it matters, you told yourself. You’d get through the date, politely tell the guy that he was great but you weren’t interested, and hopefully be home by 10pm. You turn your gaze to the maitre’d, telling him the table was under Reid’s name.

You had told yourself on the way that you couldn’t hold it against him if he was late — you still remember the coffee meetings your own godmother never turned up to — but it turned out he was earlier than you. Where you showed up to everything ten minutes in advance, he showed up twenty-five minutes.

You saw him first, looking into the silver ware and flattening down his hair and adjusting his tie, clearly nervous, looking up when he heard you thank the maitre’d. Spencer almost stumbled over himself as he stood up to pull your chair out for you and you feel an overwhelming urge to reassure him. “H-Hi,” he said, matching your awkward smile. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks,” you said softly, taking the seat and watching him take his, his hand splayed against his chest to keep his tie back. “You’re taller than I thought you’d be.”

His laugh is nervous, God help him, and he corrects the displaced silverware so they align perfectly before he looked at you again. “I, uh, I get that a lot.”

“Go on a lot of blind dates then?” you asked, sipping the water within reach, and you can see panic flash across his face.

“No! I mean, I’ve-I’ve been on dates before. Just um—” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I meant I get the-the height thing, quite a bit. Not that there’s been a lot—”

“Breathe, Spencer,” you feel compelled to say as his face flushes. You’d meant to tease, not give the man a heart attack.

“Sorry,” he murmured, trying to get a grip on himself. God, how did Derek do this? “Um… Blake, sorry, Alex, told me that you’re a therapist,” he said, focusing on something concrete.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered, not sure how much information you wanted to tell him. Though, to be fair, he was a federal agent. He could have it found out anyway. “I work at a clinic in Georgetown,” you said, folding your hands in front of you and overthinking whether you should be crossing your legs or not. This was usually the point where the guy would ask if you could read his mind, or attempt to educate you on how mental health was a sham and everyone just needs to get some exercise, and that would be your cue to fake an emergency exit. Maybe you’d get home in time to watch some decent TV.

“Is it hard?” he asked, taking a sip of water before he leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with genuine interest. It was endearing, and surprising.

“It can be,” you answered, leaning in slightly. “Some days you get really, really good sessions, you know? And other days it’s…”

“Hell?” he offered and you let out a small huff.

“Try having a seven year old drawing on furniture with chalk,” you told him, watching him wince.

“I, uh… have a confession,” he said, leaning even closer, his voice a dramatic whisper. “I did that as a kid.”

"Understimulated in class, huh?" you asked, smiling at him a little more.

“A lot,” he admitted. “I learned to read very young, and… well, then everyone wanted me to read, and it wasn’t as fun anymore, you know?”

“Mm,” you say in agreement, but before you continue, the waiter comes, and you both order a glass of wine, and appetizers to split. “So, you must be dealing with a lot worse than pre-pubescent vandalism, right?” you asked, pulling apart the fried mozzarella balls with delicate precision, and you watch him think for a moment.

“I’m just trying to decide if the last case we worked would be preferable to handling a toddler, and I honestly think I’d prefer the serial killer,” he said thoughtfully and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you.

"Yeah, no, I don't blame you," you replied, sipping your wine.

“What about you?” he asked between bites. “Did you know you wanted to be a psychologist from day one?”

"Uh... No, I actually thought I would go into linguistics, like Alex, but somewhere around my first year into undergrad, I realised that psychology was my calling," you said.

“What changed your mind?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and leaning his elbow on the table. You liked the way he gave you his full attention; his eyes hadn’t strayed from you since you’d gotten there.

“Uh, we used to have to do these case studies and we’d do these role plays where everyone had a presenting concern to work with, and I used to get this… high whenever I’d figured the client out. Like that moment where everything just… clicks into place. And I got addicted to it,” you said, your words and love for your job captivating.

“I know exactly what you mean,” he said, his smile widening. “I’m sure Alex’s told you that I have an… impressive memory. The cases we work on-the ones they don’t put in our files on purpose-I remember every single piece of information. It’s like the details don’t leave me. So when we finally catch the unsubs, the-the serial killers…” His voice lowers, leaning further over the table to you and he’s so close, you can almost smell his cologne. “That’s when it clicks.”

You stared at him for a beat, like everything else in the world had gone still, his soft hazel eyes looking affectionately into yours, and then the waiter comes over and the bubble between you two pops, springing apart like two teenagers being walked in on. You can see the flush come over his skin, just as the waiter places his plates in front of him, and focus on ordering your dinner, Spencer agreeing to whatever you ordered.

“So,” you started as the waiter left, and you could see the hint of a smile cross his lips. “Spencer, what do you do for fun?”

He hums a little, thinking. “I read, obviously, and I play poker, although I think half the team suspects I’m counting cards.” He leans forward. “Don't tell them, but I am.”

“You can count cards?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

He tilts his head to the side, and he looks like some kind of adorable dog, and your cheeks flush a little darker. “Is it that surprising?” Spencer asks. “I mean, if you know the math, it’s-“ He seems to stumble a little, like he’s worried he’ll bore you with the explanation.

“Keep going,” you prompt him, interested.

“I mean, it’s not foolproof,” he starts, the words flowing quickly from him. “You can’t really predict probability with any certainty. It’s just… really good guessing.” He smiles proudly. “I’m actually banned from a few casinos in Vegas.”

You sipped your wine, shaking your head. "You've gotta teach me how, cause I swear, Alex beats me every time."

“You play poker?” Spencer asked, and you nodded, taking another sip of wine. “Of course, you do,” he added, smiling. “You’re perfect,” he blurted, then started, his face flushing a deep colour.

You could fall in love with this man if you let yourself, and it’s a scary thought. Alex hadn’t been kidding when she said that Spencer was perfect for you. Then why was there this horrible pit in your stomach, like an anvil hovering over you?

The rest of the dinner went perfectly, Spencer pulling out your chair for you as you both prepared to leave. The air was crisp, just a little chilly — spring wasn’t quite ready to fully come out of hiding yet. There was a certain energy between you both; a sense of hope you had long forgotten, and as he walked you to your car, you couldn’t stop yourself from looking up and meeting his eyes.

You'd felt this way before... four years ago when you met the man you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, and suddenly, the idea of going through that again... It scared the living daylights out of you. "This was really nice," you managed, looking at him.

“It was,” he agreed, his hands shoving into his pockets. “I’d like to see you again.” He said it casually, but his eyes betrayed him, like he was afraid you were going to refuse.

You swallowed, reminding yourself to take a breath. "Spencer, you're... really great. I mean, seriously, any girl would be lucky to go out with you," you said slowly. "But if I'm honest... I only came out tonight to get Alex off my back."

You can see the way it crushes him; the light in his eyes dimming. His shoulders drop and his head lowers, and you feel a wave of guilt overcome you, but your feet stay rooted to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but you know his words are meant more for his own failings than for you - you can see it in his body language, how he’s withdrawing into himself. What you expect is for him to walk away; instead, he looks back up at you, and you feel your heart break as your eyes meet his pained ones.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," you said softly. "I should never have..." You took a sharp breath. "I like you, Spencer. A lot, probably more than I'm ready for. But I just got out of a long-term relationship. I'm not ready to jump into another one, especially with someone who... who deserves a lot more."

“I-I don’t mind taking things slow,” he said, his voice soft as his eyes searched your face, and you knew he was telling you the truth. But he doesn’t deserve to be some kind of… emotional training wheels for you, as you work through a bad breakup. He deserves more than you’ve got to offer.

"Of course you don't," you said, with a tinge of fondness. "You're perfect."

"I think I'm far from perfect," he says, with a self-deprecating grin. "But I'd be happy to be, um... whatever it is you're ready for."

You don't want to say it, but he's really, really, really hard to say 'No' to, and the fact he was so genuine in wanting to be around you made your heart clench. You wanted to say 'yes' so desperately.

Maybe you should say 'yes'. Just to see what happens.

"It's a bad idea," you said reluctantly, your resolve crumbling.

"But it might be just what you need," Spencer said, and he's right - you hate it but you can feel the way he's pulling you in. The way those hazel eyes hold you; the way you just want to spend more time with him.

A mistake, you think to yourself, just as his hand slides down, his fingers slotting with yours. A glorious mistake.

"I don't want to do that to you," you murmured, even though all you wanted to do was kiss him and take him home and ruin him.

"Please," he murmured, stepping just a little closer, as if you had any resolve left at this point. "I'm a big boy. I can make that decision for myself."

The way he stepped so close to you made your skin tingle, and something deep within you tightened, and you were sure that Spencer could see it in your eyes. Your free hand lifted, sliding along his cheek. "I can't," you said, thumb gliding against his cheekbone. "I'm sorry."

Spencer stepped back, and you watch the way his face falls, your hand falling away to your side, but he nods, and the part of you that wasn't ready for this, was happy you'd made that decision. That he would stay safe and away from you - but then he leaned down, and before you can process what it was, he presses a warm kiss to your cheek. "I had a really nice time, tonight," Spencer murmured, and you can hear the sound of his footsteps leave before you can get your mouth to work again.

"Me too," you murmured into the air, sinking against your car, wondering if you'd just made the biggest mistake of your life, letting him slip through your fingers.

[sillylilsquid]

Real life Romance book pt. 4/?

✨alternate universe Hyun Ju x reader

✨summary: in which you meet Hyun Ju at your work, and quickly become friends. you've never dated a woman, but something about Hyun Ju was different. She made you feel a fire in your chest, and though you didn't understand it you were ready to try.  ✨trigger warnings: afab reader, drinking, sexual themes. minors dni, 18+ ✨2.8k words

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..✭・.・

The next few weeks spent with Hyun Ju were incredible. You both attended book club together every week, which made your friends squeal out of excitement. On days where neither of you had to work you would always be hanging out; and on the days one or both of you worked you would shower each other with text messages and updates throughout the day. To say you were happy was an understatement. The night that the two of you shared the passionate kiss in your apartment didn’t lead to much, and you were okay with that. You wanted Hyun Ju to feel comfortable and move at her own pace, and you yourself were also still trying to figure out what you were comfortable with. 

Once Hyun Ju told you about herself, things between you two seemed to change for the best. She acted a little more outgoing around you, and would never hesitate to show affection to you. Kisses, hugs, hand holding, cuddling…you loved it all. When you two were out in public, however, she would act a little more standoffish, though still being the caring girlfriend you knew her to be. You liked to think it was because she was scared of either of you receiving any stares or hateful comments, but there was a small part of you that worried it was because she was embarrassed of you. You knew it was an irrational thought, but your already low self confidence made it impossible to think otherwise. 

Hyun Ju would ask you to go shopping with her for clothes, or for makeup, or shoes. You always agreed. Seeing her face light up as she tried on more feminine clothes made you feel a sense of pride. There were moments she would hesitate to come out of the dressing room, or shift uncomfortably in front of you–and you always knew what to say to make things better. You’d compliment how the trousers would hug the curves of her legs perfectly, or how the color of a top made her eyes pop. It made her blush each time. You’d help her pick out makeup and always offered to show her how to use it, even doing her makeup for her a lot of times. She would thank you again and again. 

It was the weekend and you both were off from work. Friday evening you and your friends had plans to go to a club for a night of fun. After making sure it was okay with your friends you invited Hyun Ju. She was hesitant about attending but she decided to go just for you. It was around 8pm when you heard her knock at the front door. You had given her a key a week ago, and she had yet to use it–always saying it was rude to barge in. It made you laugh, finding it sweet how respectful she was. You called out, “come in!” from your bedroom as you pulled on a pair of chunky heeled boots you forgot you even had. The front door opened then closed and you heard the soft footsteps heading towards your room. “You really should answer the door. What if I was a serial killer, and you just gave me an open invitation?” she joked. Hyun Ju stood in the doorway, admiring you as you fixed your hair in the mirror. You had decided to wear a dress, which you rarely did. Swallowing, you turned towards your girlfriend. “I’m in heels and still shorter than you!” you exclaimed, walking over to give her a hug. Her hands lingered for a moment on your waist before she pulled away. She took your hand, spinning you around to fully look you over. “You look hot,” Hyun Ju stated, a smirk showing on her face. It made you blush. Of course she would give you compliments all the time, but she had never said you were hot before. The word sent shivers down your spine.

Your music played softly in the background breaking any uncomfortable silence between you two. You took a small step back so you could admire her in hopes to make her feel as beautiful as she always made you feel. Her outfits were similar everyday, not straying away from what made her feel most comfortable and tonight was no different. She wore a pair of dark plaid trousers, well tailored to her legs and a cream colored turtleneck. It was tight enough to show off the curve of her breasts but still loose enough not to cling to her. Her hair was down and you admired how she’s been letting it grow out longer. She wore a thin gold necklace with a heart charm, the one you bought her shortly after you started dating, and a few rings on her fingers. You noticed her nails were painted black and she wore a faint amount of makeup. The intoxicating smell of her vanilla perfume wafted into your nose. To you, she was a goddess. 

“Are you trying to get other girlfriends tonight?” you teased her, your hand brushing over her silky, dark hair. “I’m not going to be able to keep them away from you.” Hyun Ju began to laugh, and any nerves she had left her body. She loved being able to joke with you, and vice versa. Her larger hands rested on your hips. “I wanted to look nice for you.” she spoke, bending down to brush her lips across yours. You leaned in closer to press a kiss to them. “You look so hot, Hyun Ju.” you then replied, giggling as you used the same compliment she had given you. It made her feel just as flustered as you had. Soon you gathered your things and turned out the lights, following your girlfriend to her car. 

The ride to the club was mostly silent, with Hyun Ju’s hand resting on your exposed thigh for the duration of the ride. You could sense she was nervous just by how she was more quiet than she would usually be when you two were alone. You tried to encourage her, letting her know that everything would be okay. Before the two of you walked inside you stopped her, pulling her back from the front door of the club. “If you get uncomfortable, we can leave. Just let me know. I want you to have fun too.” her face lit up at your words. “I’ll have fun–we’ll have fun together.” she assured you, reaching back out for the door and pulling it open for you. The two of you stepped inside and were immediately hit by the loud music and smell of sweat mixed with alcohol in the air. It had been a while since you attended any parties or even went to a bar, but your friends were adamant that you came with them. 

Sensing your unease Hyun Ju took the lead, lacing your fingers together and pulling you towards the bar. She ordered you a drink, handing it to you which you gladly took. The burn from the alcohol made you feel warm inside and started to ease your nerves. “You don’t want anything?” you called out over the loud music, having to lean closer to her so she could hear you. She shook her head, laughing as she explained someone had to drive you home. There she went again being the protective, kind woman you were growing to love. It wasn’t your plan to get wasted tonight, but your friends were bad influences and you were a lightweight. Your friends soon met up with you and pulled you towards the crowd of people dancing. You made sure to keep a hold of Hyun Ju’s arm, not wanting to lose her in the sea of people. She stood behind you with her hands resting protectively on your waist as you danced and sang with your friends. She was always kind enough to brave the crowd to get you another drink whenever you asked. Every time you looked back at her to check if she was okay she was always smiling down at you, simply enjoying seeing you so happy with your friends.

As the evening passed on you felt yourself becoming more and more tipsy, your head hazy and your words slurring occasionally. Hyun Ju found it adorable how your skin became flushed the more alcohol you consumed. The time approached 11pm and you and your friends had grown tired deciding it was best to head out. Hyun Ju made sure they all had a safe way home before pulling you towards her car. Your feet fumbled underneath you but she kept a strong arm on you. “You’re like really hot, ya know?” you said in between hiccups. She laughed and buckled you safely in your seat, as you let out a whine when she closed the door. The drive back to your apartment consisted of you giggling and spitting compliments to Hyun Ju. She always thanked you, even though she knew you wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning.

The climb up the stairs was tricky with how you clung to her, complaining how you didn’t want to trip. She shook her head, leaning down and picking you up. You quickly wrapped your legs around her waist, the movement making you dizzy. “Wow,” you mumbled, staring at her with wide eyes. “Enjoying the view?” she teased to which you quickly nodded in agreement. Arriving at your door, she held you up with one arm and your bag with the other and managed to fish her key out of her pocket. She made her way through your apartment in the dark, which surprised you because you knew there were a lot of clothes and shoes scattered across the floor. Once she reached your bedroom, she turned on the lamp that sat on the bedside table. It made you clench your eyes closed, burying your face in her shoulder. “You gotta let go,” she laughed, trying to peel you from her frame. You shook your head. “Sweet girl, let me help.” you grumbled as she sat you down on your bed.

You seemed to melt into it like a cloud. Has this bed always been this comfortable? You thought to yourself. Hyun Ju told you to stay, and you complied, looking up at her like a lost puppy. She rummaged around your room to find you a pair of pajamas. She disappeared into your bathroom briefly before she returned and moved to the bed. She stood before you, tying your hair out of your face and proceeded to take your makeup off. You sat still, complying with anything she wanted to do to you. In that moment your thighs clenched, your heart pounded. Once she finished her task she kneeled in front of you, proceeding to pull off your heels. You hadn’t realized how much your feet ached until now. Your breathing was erratic staring down at her. When her eyes met yours she smiled as if she didn’t know what she was doing had such an effect on you. She had to know what she was doing to you, what she was making you feel. Right? How could she not feel it too?

The air felt thick as you tried to calm yourself down by closing your eyes hoping to steady your breathing, but when you opened them you became a mess. She stood in front of you now, hand held out to you waiting for a response. You hadn’t even realized she was talking to you. “Stand up,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Let me help you change.” you obeyed, standing up and reaching out to grab onto her when you swayed. Once she was sure you were steady on feet she gripped the bottom of your dress. To her, this was just a simple act of service–to you, this felt like the angels were calling you up to heaven. Hyun Ju pulled the dress over your head, leaving you standing in front of her in your matching bra and panties. She swallowed, her hands fisting the dress momentarily before letting it fall to the floor. Reaching past you she grabbed your pajama shirt. Her shoulder brushing against your bare one. As she began to try and tug the top over your head you tried to make your move, your hands reaching out to her sweater. You brushed the fabric up barely exposing her stomach before she caught your hands. She dropped them at your sides and finished pulling your top over you, making you shove your arms through the holes. When she reached for the matching shorts you tried again, fisting her sweater in your clammy hands. This time you tried to be quicker, pulling it up enough to expose her stomach and the edge of her bra. Hyun Ju laughed, shaking her head. “Sweet girl, you need to rest. You’re drunk.” she explained, her tone was patient. She was always so patient with you. You were lucky, oh so lucky. 

Your shoulders shrugged while you allowed her to help you step into your shorts. “Please?” you asked, your tone needy and higher pitched. It had to have been the alcohol, you were never so forward. Always too shy to make a move. She silently shook her head, not budging when it came to the subject. Hyun Ju pushed you back towards the bed until it hit the back of your legs and you fell onto the mattress. As you sat up you reached towards her, tucking your finger into the waistband of her trousers and using it to pull her close. She stood now in between your legs. “Trapped ya’!” you exclaimed, trying to fumble with the button. Maybe if you hadn’t had that last drink your hands wouldn’t be so shaky, you thought. Hyun Ju stood still, letting you fumble with her pants. She knew wouldn’t figure out the button so she waited, patiently with a smile on her face. After a minute of trying you groaned and dropped your hands, staring up at her as if to beg for help. She again shook her head no, helping you move under your blankets. “Insatiable little girl.” she murmured in your ear.

Hyun Ju made sure you were comfortably tucked in and within seconds you felt sleep take over your body. She stood watching your breathing even out and once you let out a soft snore she knew you were out. Looking around the room she saw how messy it was. Her place was always immaculate; she liked to think it was from her time in the military. It taught her strict discipline and she still used it in her everyday life. She stuck to a schedule, similar each day. Wake up, get dressed and go to the gym. Shower once she gets home, eat breakfast, and find something to clean. Repeat. As much as she knew she should leave your place, she couldn’t make herself yet. You had been driving her crazy. Seeing how you looked at her, how you tried multiple times to rid her of her clothes. You made her feel wanted. She hadn’t felt that in a long time. If you weren’t drunk she probably would have let you. 

She left your bedroom and closed the door behind her. Turning on the lamp in the living room she began to tidy your apartment. The space was small so it didn't take very long. She folded your laundry, emptied your dishwasher and refilled it with the dirty dishes. She even took the time to arrange your books neatly on your bookshelf, and she hoped you wouldn’t think it was weird of her to clean your place while you slept. Once she felt proud of her work she filled you a glass of water, leaving it on your bedside table. Hyun Ju planted a kiss on your forehead, turned off your lights, and left your apartment locking it up behind her. The drive back to her place only took a few minutes considering there was no traffic. She took a brief shower, her mind still thinking of your lustful actions. Groaning to herself she turned the shower off, changed into comfortable clothes and went to bed. She tossed and turned, trying to make herself comfortable and force herself to sleep. Her mind kept playing back over tonight. She wanted you, bad. Hyun Ju allowed her hand to slip into her sweatpants, thinking of you. The feeling of needing release made her stomach clench. Soon her orgasm took over her, as she thought of you, and once she cleaned herself up she was able to fall asleep much quicker. Her mind still picturing you as she drifted off.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..✭・.・

✨a/n: sorry it took a week to post! working in vet med is crazy. anyways, enjoy. i appreciate all the love this series has gotten so far. xoxo, squid.

[zepskies]

Oh you got that right. 🥲 It was a bit stressful, and though I didn't want to admit it, a bit scary too. But I made it out of the procedure with flying colors and am already on the mend! (Yep been dealing with this medical issue since May of last year, but I so appreciate you for those well wishes 💓💓💓)

ahaha your question did not seem like a request, no worries!! I just decided the HC format was the best way to "answer" your question, so why not! For you, I didn't mind one bit. 😘

On this I love getting your insights as a barista -- with Dean I sense a coffee chop au a' brewin'. 😝 And a cookie butter latte sounds amaaaazing! 🤤 (Oh I miss Beau too!! I appreciate you in advance for the reread on TMH. I wanna get back into writing those two 💞)

"what the fuck is oat milk" lmfaoooo 😭 that is probably what he'd say though 🤣 (also i feel like you would not be able to explain that oat milk makes the drink creamier because that man would have an array of jokes to make 💀) but cold brew would be a great choice for him! especially with the higher caffeine percentage lol.

lmfaoo yeah there's no way you're gonna be able to explain that creamy ratio to Benny boy, unless you want a host of disgusting ad libs to go with it. 🤣

also fun fact, i actually do have a regular customer named russell who orders a flat white 🤣 except he gets his with a lot of white chocolate. like a lotttttttt, it concerns me a bit but i'm just there to make the drinks loll

Omg really?! That's too funny loll. Maybe if he's cute you can slip your number in along with that extra white chocolate. 😏

you are the absolute sweetest alex!!💗💗 i started out my day by waiting outside of work for forty minutes in the cold rain because my supervisor was late, and it had only gone downhill from there. but this? not only did it cheer me up but it truly warmed my heart <3 sorry to get sappy on the timeline lol, but you genuinely put in so much thought and effort in your responses, even to all my silly little questions :') i appreciate you very much friend <3 and i'm glad it was a fun question! i was worried it wouldn't make much sense, i was rushing to type it out on my lunch break 😭

Ughh omg that sucks!! I'm so glad this little batch of HCs could turn your day around, hun. Seeing you pop up in my inbox gave me something to take my mind off just laying in my bed all day, so thank you! 💗 I don't like to do things half-heartedly, so if an idea hooks me, I want to give it my full attention.

And it made perfect sense! It's fun to imagine these guys doing domestic everyday things like what they'd order for their coffee fix. Thank you again btw for having Midnight Espresso in mind!! There's a reason why an espresso mug is now part of my blog banner. 😘☕

hiiii, i hope your friday is going well lovely 💞💞 :) how has your week been?💕

i’m currently stuck at work and it’s beeeeeen quite the day already, but you always cheer me up so i have a random question :p

i’m thinking about the scene when dean tried cafe con leche in the midnight espresso-verse (also i’m a barista loll🥲), and he was pleasantly surprised, so it has me wondering;

if they were to get something besides plain coffee, what do you think dean/ben/beau/russell would like to drink if they ordered at a coffee shop?

i always love to hear any and all your thoughts 🙂‍↕️🤍

Hello my lovely! 💞💞 I actually am in recovery this week after having a surgical procedure yesterday, so I'm finally getting a chance to catch up on my TBR reading and the shows I've had on my watchlist. 🤪

Ooh introducing Dean to Cuban espresso was the scene that inspired that whole fic of Midnight Espresso, and ultimately turned it into a whole series of Dean x plus-sized Latina fun!! lol

This is such a fun question though!! You as a barista probably know way more about coffee than I do, but here's my take on these guys' orders...

HEADCANON: What Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw would order at a coffee shop. ☕

Dean Winchester

Why, an espresso of course! 🤎

Cram that little cup full of sugar, and you've got Dean hooked on a heavy-hitter fix that'll keep him up during long research sessions. (It also gives you the opportunity to distract him from said research, give him a taste of another steamy fix. 😘❤️‍🔥)

Beau Arlen

Ooh I feel like he'd protest at first and claim to solely drink Americanos, but he's a basic latte guy.

Hit him with some caramel or hazelnut, and he's happy. But you could also hook him into being a little adventurous with a pistachio or "brown sugar" latte lol. Like most things, Beau is willing to try almost anything once. 😉

Soldier Boy (Ben)

So he's definitely going to be thrown by all the modern selections of coffee. (i.e. "What the fuck is oatmilk?") And how the hell can you get milk out of cashews and almonds?

All the health crazes, "drip" coffee, and milk alternatives are definitely going over his head, or he's mocking them. ("Save that pussy drink for Hughie." 💀)

But one thing he might go for, other than a black coffee, is a nice cold brew, hold off on too much foam -- can't be getting the milkstache, now can he? But he'll like it even better if you make it "Irish." 💚

Russell Shaw

Last but certainly not least, we have Russell! I don't think he's picky about his coffee, considering he probably drinks a lot of free motel coffee. lol

But! I think he'd appreciate a nice flat white at a proper café. It's more robust than a normal cappuccino and less milk, so he'd argue that he's getting more "bang for his buck." 😂

AN: @wvffles Hope you liked this little headcanon, friend, and that it cheers you up! I LOVE me some coffee, so this question with the guys was really fun to contemplate. 😘☕

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Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy + Russell Tag List (Part 1)

@kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @luci-in-trenchcoats @waynes-multiverse @lamentationsofalonelypotato

@mostlymarvelgirl @thebiggerbear @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester

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@mrlonelycat @deans-daydream @leigh70 @aylacavebear @kmc1989

@siampie @rubyvhs @winchestergirl2 @winchester-whiskey

[itsnesss]

Anthony and Lawrence reader first time and getting caught by the dads

𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 | anthony larusso × fem!reader

summary | the request

warnings | lawrence!reader, intimacy (implicit/not overly graphic), first time, strong language, family tension and awkward situations

word count | 1.9 k

author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩

You never imagined that your life would turn into a series of unfortunate events in a single night. What started as a special moment ended in the worst possible scenario: trapped, naked, and under the gaze of two of the most terrifying men in the Valley. But to understand how you got here, we have to go back a few hours.

Anthony Larusso had never been someone who caught your attention. To you, he had always been "Daniel Larusso's younger son," the kid who used to be a nuisance and who, years later, had changed. He was no longer the annoying child who got into trouble for fun; now, he was someone you shared jokes, movies, and, to your surprise, feelings with.

There was something about his awkwardness that you found charming. Even though you were the daughter of Johnny Lawrence, a man who preached "Strike first, strike hard, no mercy," you found something different in Anthony: sweetness, patience, and a contagious laugh that managed to disarm you.

It was an impulse. A moment when the two of you were alone in his room, the dim light casting soft shadows, and a movie playing in the background that neither of you was paying attention to. You didn't know who made the first move, but before you could stop to think, you were already kissing him. And then, the kiss turned into something more.

"Are you sure you want this?" Anthony asked, his voice a little shaky, his dark eyes filled with nerves.

You could have backed out. You could have thought about the consequences. But at that moment, there was only one possible answer.

"Yes."

The outside world disappeared in that instant. There were no pressures, no expectations, just two people learning together, discovering what it meant to give themselves to each other with clumsiness and care. Every touch was a reminder that this was new, but also that they were exactly where they wanted to be.

There were whispers filled with laughter, inevitable blushes, and mistakes that made both of you pause and try again with nervous smiles. But in the midst of it all, there was something undeniable: love in its purest, most innocent, and real form.

When it was over, Anthony was silent for a moment, his arm around your waist as you both caught your breath.

"That was…" he started to say, but then fell silent and let out a small laugh. "I have no idea what to say."

You turned to look at him, finding in his eyes the same gleam of disbelief that you felt in your chest.

"I think it was good," you whispered with a small smile.

"I think so too."

Your fingers were still intertwined with Anthony's as you both lay there, sharing a knowing look. His breathing was steady, but his heart was still pounding beneath your cheek. You couldn't help but smile.

You never imagined this would happen today. Not here, not now. And certainly not like this.

Anthony turned slightly, watching you with a mix of tenderness and wonder. His messy hair fell over his forehead, and you couldn't resist reaching up to push it back.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a whisper, his voice still trembling.

You nodded, feeling a pleasant warmth in your chest.

"Yeah… and you?"

"Yeah," he replied with a goofy smile. "I think so."

You both laughed quietly, unable to believe what had just happened. It had been clumsy, sweet, imperfect in so many ways, but absolutely special. Something that would belong only to the two of you.

Or so you thought.

Just as you were snuggled against Anthony, your heart still racing and a sense of tranquility settling in after the whirlwind of emotions, you heard the worst combination of sounds in human history.

First, the front door opening.

Second, the unmistakable voices of Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence.

"Thanks for driving me, Johnny," Daniel said. "Amanda and Carmen are out, and I didn’t want to leave Anthony alone for too long."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Johnny replied. "The kid’s probably watching his video games or whatever he does in his free time."

Silence.

Then, the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs.

And then, Anthony's bedroom door bursting open.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Johnny shouted so loudly you thought the windows might have vibrated.

You had never moved so fast in your life. In the blink of an eye, you were desperately searching for something to cover yourself with while Anthony panicked beside you.

"Dad! I… this isn’t…!"

"Anthony?!" Daniel’s eyes were so wide they looked like they might pop out of his face. "What are you doing with her?! Oh my God! Are you two…?!"

"Oh, for the love of—" Johnny grabbed his head with both hands, his face a mix of horror and fury. "Tell me this isn’t what I think it is!"

"Dad…" you started, hoping to calm him down, but the tone of his voice told you he was in no mood to be soothed.

"Are you telling me I trained you just so you could do THIS in Larusso’s house?!"

"Why is that your problem here?!" you shouted, feeling both offended and in a situation so ridiculous that you almost wanted to laugh.

"Because it’s Larusso’s kid!" Johnny pointed at Anthony, who was still trying to wrap himself better in the sheet, looking like he wanted to disappear. "Anyone else, but not one of them!"

"Hey!" Daniel protested, snapping out of his initial shock. "As if your daughter is some kind of saint!"

"That’s not the point, LaRusso!"

"Of course, it is!"

"No, it’s not!"

Anthony buried his face in his hands and muttered, "I’m going to jump out the window…"

You sighed.

"Dad, listen, this… this wasn’t a mistake. Anthony and I… we like each other."

Johnny looked at you, his face still red with anger.

"That doesn’t make it any better!"

"You can’t stop us from seeing each other," you said, crossing your arms.

"Oh, yes, I can!"

"No, you can’t," Daniel chimed in, looking just as disturbed as Johnny. "Because that would make this even more of a problem."

Johnny glared at him.

"Are you saying I should just accept this?!"

"No!" Daniel looked at Anthony with the same level of indignation. "I’m just as disturbed as you, trust me!"

"Can we talk about this with clothes on?" Anthony asked in a barely audible voice.

Johnny and Daniel shouted at the same time, "NO!"

After half an hour of yelling, threats, and painfully awkward speeches about "responsibility," "maturity," and "impulsive decisions," you finally managed to convince your dad that this wasn’t the end of the world. Daniel, on the other hand, was still in a state of denial, muttering things like, "Amanda’s going to kill me," and "This can’t be happening. My son… my baby."

Anthony, still red with embarrassment, glanced at you after the adults finally calmed down a little.

"Well… that was horrible."

You gave him a small nudge on the arm.

"It could have been worse."

"How?"

"It could have been at my dad’s house."

He was silent for a moment before murmuring, "Yeah, you’re right. Johnny Lawrence would have killed me on the spot."

You couldn’t help but laugh.

[roxygen22]

Bus Stop (Part 4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Nic: Good morning

You grabbed your phone from your nightstand before you had even fully blinked the sleep from your eyes. A message from Nic was waiting for you. You giggled and kicked your feet in excitement as you held your phone to your chest. Last night wasn't just a dream, after all.

You: Morning!

Your fingers typed wildly.

You: You're quite the early bird.

Relunctantly tossing the warm covers away from your body, you got out of bed to start your morning routine, bringing your phone along so as to not miss anything. As you leaned over the sink to brush your teeth, you felt it vibrate on the tile counter. Just seeing his name on the screen made your heart beat a little faster.

Nic: I try to start the day with a run or bike ride. Just got back inside. Gotta hop in the shower and get ready for class. What time is your lunch break?

Blood rushed to your cheeks at the thought of him being soaked in sweat or lathered up in soap. Too soon, you cautioned yourself. Thank goodness he couldn't see you.

You: Usually at noon, unless a mtg runs long.

Nic: K. I'll give you a call on my way to the station, if that's OK?

You bit your lip. How to sound positive but not TOO eager...

You: Yes, please :)

The morning crawled and meetings droned on and on. Several times you caught yourself daydreaming, staring out the window or drawing abstract shapes on your paper instead of taking notes. As the clock ticked closer to noon, your knee bounced under your desk in nervous excitement, impatiently waiting for your phone to light up.

Like clockwork, your phone buzzed in your hand at 12:00 on the dot as you ran out to the rear courtyard for a semi-private spot to talk.

"You are quite punctual," you answered. Nic chuckled.

"I've been holding my phone in my hand just staring at it for a solid two minutes waiting for the right time. How has your day been?"

"Oh, [nervous laughter] I'm not exactly sure. I spent most of the morning off in la-la-land. I had a little trouble paying attention."

"Funny you should say that. I had the same problem in class."

"Oh, yeah? What were you thinking about?"

"You first," he teased.

"No, you."

"Alright, since we're not in person to settle this with rock-paper-scissors like mature adults, how about we both say it on three?"

You laughed. "Ok. I can appreciate a good compromise. 1...2...3..."

"You."/"Last night."

"Really?"/"Really?"

There was an awkward pause that was probably not as long as it felt. You broke the silence.

"I was stoked to see your message this morning. Confirmation that I didn't dream the whole thing up," you admitted.

"I haven't had a fun evening out like that in ages. I...I felt like- like you were just so easy to talk to."

"I had fun, too," you replied. "I, uh...I dreamed about that kiss. It's been - a while - since I've been kissed like that."

"Me, too."

"Dream or a long time since the last?"

"Both."

"Awwwww!" you vocalized. "Well, you don't have to wait that long again." Your boldness startled you, so you started backtracking in a panic. "I mean, if, uh, that's what you want. Because that's what I want. I mean...," you trailed off and groaned as you smacked your forehead with your palm. "I'm going to shut up now."

"Please don't," Nic replied. "It's adorable when you ramble when you're flustered."

"You do seem to have that effect on me." The tops of your ears burned with embarrassment at your admission.

He chuckled. "So I've noticed."

After a beat of silence, you asked, "So, just curious, how long has it been for you? It's been just over two years for me."

"Almost four years. I've been trying to work on feeling whole on my own before getting involved with someone again."

"Kudos for putting in that work on yourself. My ex did not. He projected a lot of pent-up baggage onto me. I've been on a break since. It was toxic and lasted longer than it should have, and I've been in no rush to get mixed up with the wrong person again.

"But now?" Nic eagerly implored.

"Nowwwwww I think I could be persuaded by the right person," you hinted.

"Ah, I see." He paused. "[Y/N], I...," he cleared his throat. "Do you like Italian food?"

Somewhat taken aback by the jarring transition, you stuttered, "Y-yeah, I love Italian." You worried that you threw him off by mentioning your ex. Maybe it was too much too soon?

"There's this great place near the bus stop where I usually get on at Lexington and 1st. I was thinking we could go get a bite to eat tomorrow after work?"

Whew. Maybe you didn't scare him off after all. "That sounds delicious. I'd love that."

"Great! I'll meet you at the bus stop and walk you over. But for now, you should probably actually eat something on your lunch break. I just made it to the news station and need to go get settled in."

You pulled the phone away from your face to check the time. You only had about 10 minutes left. "Alas, responsibilities befall us all. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow. Bye, [Y/N]."

"Bye, Nic."

You ended the call and stared down at the dark phone screen in your hand. The fading excitement felt like you were crashing from a sugar rush. You slowly got up from the bench and shuffled back inside to get your food.

Your coworkers were standing at the ready to interrogate you. They knew you generally hated talking on the phone, but this time, you were all smiles.

"Tell us all about him, honey," the receptionist, Henrietta, demanded. "We need some excitement around here."

"What? How did you...."

"Dear, you have lovesick written all over your face!"

You blushed hard. Before you knew it, you were encircled by colleagues rolling over in their desk chairs as you recounted spotting Nic on the bus and working up the courage to say hello, and how magical that first unexpected date and kiss were last night. Once they were done peppering you with questions and chairs were rolled back to desks, Henrietta came up to you and gave you a hug.

"I'm glad you are finally putting yourself back out there after that jerk, Matt. You deserve to find love again, and he sounds like a wholesome guy."

"Thanks, Etta." You patted her arm and gently squeezed. "Time for me to come down out of the clouds and get back to work, I guess."

Small text exchanges throught the rest of the day kept you going, but you craved to hear Nic's voice again. Tomorrow felt like forever away. You knew you'd need to distract yourself with a rare visit to the gym that evening to pass the time and wear yourself out.

You were walking to the bus stop after work when you felt your phone buzz in your bag. It was a long, repeated vibration - someone was calling you. You fumbled through the main section of the bag, cursing yourself for not putting your phone in the pocket it belonged for quick access. Once in hand, you stared at the screen. Nic?

"Hello?"

"Is now a bad time?"

"No, not at all. I just wasn't expecting to get to talk to you again today. I'm off work and walking to the bus. How was the rest of your day?"

"Not bad, but I have to say it definitely peaked at lunchtime. I wanted to hear your voice again."

You chuckled. "Same here. Sounds like you are walking, too."

"The meeting isn't far from the station, so I like to get more steps in if weather permits."

"Maybe your habits will rub off on me."

He didn't respond, but you could hear him breathing on the other end of the line.

"Getting up early routinely and going for a run, walking instead of taking the bus or taxi. I have a gym membership, but I'm the worst about actually going," you added.

"Oh," he replied, followed by anxious laughter. "Hey, I made it to the meeting spot. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok. Have a good night!"

"Bye, [Y/N]."

<><><><><>

There was no message waiting for you the next morning. Trying not to think anything of it, despite the strange end to the last two conversations, and to keep things balanced, you decided to send one yourself to start things off.

You: Morning!

You had already made it to work and started on your case load before Nic responded with a simple "good morning" in return three hours later. You were elbow deep in paperwork and couldn't break away to message again until lunch, which was later than usual.

No additional texts. And no call. Desperately trying not to overthink, you reminded yourself that he said he would talk to you later, so there had to be at least some intent to make contact. He had given you no reason not to trust his word, but you couldn't take it any longer.

You: Sorry for the radio silence. It's been a busy day prepping for a case.

Nic: No worries. At work, too.

You: Still on for dinner? I should be at your stop about 5:40

Nic: Yep, see you soon

You chalked his stilted, near transactional messages up to being busy at work. For once, you were grateful for the hectic pace at work to keep your brain from spiraling. At the end of the day, you gathered your things and took a deep breath before leaving the office. You reminded yourself that you were beyond capable of handling whatever the evening threw at you.

You boarded the bus and mindlessly watched the scrolling marquee of upcoming cross streets. Your heart rate surged with each stop that brought you closer to Nic. What if he wasn't there? What if he was acting strange because he's planning to cut things off?

The next stop was yours. You stepped off and looked around once you cleared the bus and breathed a sigh of relief to see Nic leaning against a nearby pole. One worry down. He walked over toward you.

"Hi," you said, trying to sound chipper.

"Hey." He bent down and gave you a small peck of a kiss on your cheek. He looked...sad. Not the greeting you had hoped for. "Ready to eat?"

Truthfully, no. But you weren't going to fill him in on your anxieties yet, so you just nodded and walked alongside as he led the way to the restaurant in silence. Something was obviously up. You could see an Italian restaurant sign up the street, but he paused before you made it there.

Nic stepped over to a nearby bench and gestured for you to sit beside him. You did so nervously, clutching your bag in your lap so he couldn't see your hands shake.

"Hey, listen," he started. "Before we, uh, go in, I...I need to tell you something. I owe it to you and to myself."

Your eyes widened. "Oh, God. You're not, like, still married or something, are you?" Your voice raised, garnering attention from passersby.

"What? No, oh, no no, not that." Nic reached out as if he wanted to hold your hand, but hesitated before pulling it back to his leg. He looked around to see if anyone was still paying attention and took a deep breath before locking eyes with you. "[Y/N], I am a recovering addict. I have been sober for about three years now."

That is not what you expected. Your brain churned through a thousand different responses, trying to figure out the right thing to say to such big news. Before you could say anything, he continued.

"I go to NA meetings every Wednesday evening. They reminded me that... that...if we are going to get to know each other, I need you to know me. Who I am. That is part of my identity and daily challenge to continue to be my best self." His shoulders fell as he looked down at the sidewalk away from you. "I also...I wanted to give you a chance to end this early if that is too much. You deserve to be with the right person, and I understand that that may not be me."

Nic jumped slightly when you hooked your finger under his chin to lift his head up, where you met him with a soft smile.

"That is nothing to be ashamed of," you replied slowly. "Thank you for sharing. I know that couldn't have been easy, but at least now I better understand why you weren't talking much today. I thought...I thought maybe I said something wrong yesterday."

"What?! No! Oh no, I'm so sorry that I made you think that." He pulled your hand up to his lips to kiss it. "You- you're a breath of fresh air. A fresh start with someone who isn't stuck on the image of the old me."

You released a deep breath you didn't even know you had been holding. "I must admit that I can't even begin to know what your journey has been like. Or will be like. But I'm willing to take things one day at a time to find out."

"One day at a time is all I can ask for." Nic gently leaned his forehead against yours. "Thank you."

You were enjoying the closeness until your stomach betrayed you with a loud grumble. Now that your worries had eased, you were terribly famished. Nic sat up and wiped a tear off his cheek, laughing as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He stood and held his hand out to you.

"Hungry?"

"Starved," you replied as you stood and followed him toward the restaurant once again. "So what's good here?"

"Well, I prefer their spaghetti over their penne..."

<><><><><>

The End

<><><><><>

Masterlist

Tag List:

@croatianprincess @bluizh @groovy-lady @pmak2002 @itshonestlynotme @parkbabyj @genesis-margarita @superlegend216 @crypticslytherin

[bellsluck]

☆ about me ☆

hii, i’m bells!

thought it was about time i made an introduction.

i’m 21, a capricorn sun, leo moon, cancer rising (astrology freak), my ethnicity is a little complicated but i’ll put it as half british and half portuguese. i can speak english and portuguese fluently and have a half-decent grasp of spanish. i’ve lived in the uk for most of my life. sexuality: no labels.

i’d say i’m new to tumblr as this is the first time in my life i’m actually using it regularly, i think I’ve got the hang of it now. i feel so at home on here and i love having new mutuals hehe. feel free to message about literally anything (save me from the “singles in your area looking for-” dms, i beg).

☆ interests ☆

i love writing and reading, fanfic, music and film, generally just immersing myself in other worlds tbh. kisses to pinterest, ao3 and wattpad. tumblr now too i guess.

seemingly never ending harry potter obsession. marauders era, hogwarts legacy era, etc. slytherin girly. i was part of hptok at its peak in like 2020/2021, my page was basically dedicated to it. it was so much fun.

also star wars, specifically the hayden christensen trilogy, but i love the ogs too and i thinkmy favourite spin-offs are the mandalorian and obi-wan kenobi. if i ever get married it will be at lake como, idc how many times it's been done. i was at one of the filming locations last summer (theed palace) and almost crying like a little biatch.

i like video games too (mostly play on switch), but i’m very picky when it comes to finding ones i actually like, then I will rack up hours on it like there's no tomorrow… we love hyperfixation over here. love love love stardew valley, animal crossing and games along those lines but atm i’ve been doing my rounds on the resident evil games (re2 og, re4 remake, re6, down bad for leon kennedy) and also hogwarts legacy, i’ve finished most of it, i just have to complete my field guide now (desperately want to replay for the sebastian quests, also the new mod stuff is so cool!).

music wise, i listen to lots of different stuff, constantly go through phases, but for my all timers, aka can quote their discography from start to finish, i’d probably say lana del rey, radiohead, the weeknd and nirvana. recently it’s been lots of david bowie, queen, beabadoobee, portishead, fleetwood mac, the beatles… i could go on.

always open to recommendations for songs, playlists, films, series, games, books, fanfics, or anything, i love it all.

☆ onto the topic of shifting... ☆

i am happy to announce i am free from the shackles of “shift-tok”. if yk, yk. 

i’ll take this as a chance to ask nicely for any antis to please, please, not interact from here on out. thank you.

so, i initially found out about shifting on hptok 2020 (huge surprise ik) and so obviously i wanted to go to hogwarts. like??

needless to say i got caught up in all the tiktok misinformation, blatant lies, complicated asf methods, self explanatory. sorry younger-me. i could explain more but all in all i was too impatient and clueless, didn't really know what i was doing at all, eventually got bored, busy with school, and assumed everyone was lying (a few were, it seems).

 i completely forgot about it all after that until i came across a shifting post on reddit a few weeks ago. my tiktok fyp started filling with shifting/manifestation videos too right after. i was coincidentally in between a rewatch of the harry potter films at this point too. you know where this is going. i started seeing tiktoks from smaller creators just answering people’s questions about shifting, and it was all so different from all the stuff i’d heard years ago, spoken about in a completely different way, which just made so much sense to me and was so intriguing. i decided to delve into it all once again. it was those same creators who also would mention tumblr, and i, who had just joined tumblr for writing related stuff not long ago, decided to start searching up things related to shifting.

 i eventually came across some great accounts and information, stories of experiences, motivation, help. i started reading “journeys out of the body” by robert monroe too, so interesting, btw, and have since began my own shifting/exploring consciousness journey (i try to be careful what words i use for things, for lots of reasons, and i understand everyone might use different terms, reminder that i haven’t been on here for that long). it’s been amazing so far. 

(i may have straight up searched shifting realities on google the other day. curiosity got the best of me. it was bad. don’t do it.)

to not mislead anyone, no, i haven’t actually had a full experience in my specific “dr” yet. however it’s only been a small amount of time and i’ve already had lots of different types of sensations and experiences that i’ve never had before and it’s all so beautiful and interesting to me. i definitely view things a lot differently than i did before. i have shiftblr to thank for it.

i adore finding new shifter blogs and reading everything on them, so if i’m giving stalker behaviour it just means i’m loving your stuff or you're all over my feed. 

idk what i’m even going to post about yet, if or when i do. maybe i’ll write a bit into my “journey” so far, any experiences or how and what i do to get into certain states, about my dr, or stuff i’m just nerdy about in general. 

fyi just because i write does not mean i will always use any grammatical skills at all when writing for blog. sorry ;)

if you ever have any questions i’ll love you forever i will answer as best as i can.

this wasn’t all that exciting but i just wanted a little intro because i’m always blank on my socials. 

 thanks for reading !!

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[arom-antix]

Me? Posting finished art? Ain't no way :O

No but @korruptbrekker reached out to me and asked if I was interested in doing a collab (go check out their piece here, I implore you), and you know I could not say no to such a wonderful artist asking lil ol me to do something fun like this. We ended up doing a swap @laugaheim and I came up with ages ago that I so sussinctly refer to as a moodboard-sketch-lineart-render swap. Rolls right off the tongue, right? Nah but it's exactly what it says. Make moodboards, swap and sketch from the other's, swap again and line the other's sketch, and then swap once again and finish the piece you sketched.

Very big thanks to Brekker for reaching out! This was so fun, I hope we can do something together again in the future!

[canisalbus]

I had a scrap piece of paper and drew the little freakish dog 👍 I have been silently enjoying your art for like a couple months now? I found it randomly on uploaded Pinterest and was like “oh huh that’s rad” and yeah he’s such a lovely sad little beast

.

[demonicfarmer69]

jiujiu and a-ling commission for @spriteofmushrooms based off of a scene from the fic "best served cold" by lianziyun. thank you so much for commissioning me!!!

[whimsicalcotton]

I'm gonna be honest I just love the way you write amberpricefield so much. I've never even played the game. I love them so much. If you're still taking requests please pick your favorite.

skdfjsdhk thank you anon 🥺🥺🥺

thank u also for the free reign! here is some incredibly stupid Everybody's (Actually) Fine AU nonsense for u <3

--- --- ---

50: Nicknames/Pet Names

There’s a list of things other than “Max,” that Rachel and Chloe call her that probably runs a mile long. 

Chloe likes to stretch her name into a wide variety of different shapes — some more ridiculous than others — and though there apparently exists some method to her madness no one else seems to know quite what it is. Mad Max, Maximilian, Maximum Turbo-Force Dork. Max could fill up a whole notebook with just those, let alone the pet-names. Chloe was once solely an ironic user of the word babe, so Max has been told, but she’s long since fallen into the trap of habit and now throws it around far more casually than Max can handle. 

Rachel has also grown fond of playing around with Max’s name, but she leans more towards the terms of endearment. Max has lost count of the amount of times she’s gone all red in the face after being called honey or love or darling. There was even that one time Rachel had the audacity to call her babygirl in the middle of the dorm hallways, which made her fluster so hard she’d immediately started babbling some lame excuse about the time before literally running all the way back to her room. 

All this is to say: Max has been thinking it’s time for some payback.

So with devious plots in mind from the moment she gets up — perhaps Rachel is starting to rub off on her a bit — Max makes it her day's mission to give the two of them a taste of their own medicine. 

She catches Rachel first. Lingering in the dorm halls, fittingly enough, knee deep in yet another unnecessarily tense looking party planning conversation with Victoria. Of course, Victoria is often the only one who suffers in a conversation with Rachel, so when she turns to see Max approaching her expression shifts easily into one of earnest excitement.

“Morning, Max,” she greets, apparently feeling generous in her sparing Max from having to get flustered in front of Victoria. Her mistake. 

Max takes a final little breath for courage, and goes for the metaphorical kill. “Good morning, sweetheart. Am I seeing you for lunch today?”

She tries not to smile so hard watching Rachel’s cheeks turn red.

“Y-Yeah,” Rachel answers, looking momentarily horrified by her stammering before straightening up. “Yeah, sure, lunch. I’m there. See you then.”

As Max is taking her leave, hardly capable of stopping herself from skipping the whole way, she overhears their chatter resume. 

“Bitch, didn’t you literally just tell me we were gonna go over this shit again at lunch?” Victoria snaps, incredulous. “Oh my god, you’re down bad. That was pathetic. Well played, Amber, truly.”

“Shut the hell up, Chase,” Rachel hisses back. “Tell anyone what just happened and you’ll be on your own supplying party booze for the rest of the year.”

Max gets Chloe later on, during the aforementioned lunch hangout that Rachel is apparently snubbing Victoria to be present for. 

She’s in the midst of chowing down on some of the sweets Max brought along, getting bread crumbs and icing sugar all over herself in the process. By the time she’s done, there are patches of powdery white and a hint of jelly still adorning her face. Rachel tries to hide a bout of snorting giggles upon looking at her.

“Jesus, you’d think we never feed you,” she says, still covering her mouth with one hand and handing Chloe a napkin with the other. 

“Yeah,” Max agrees, taking the napkin in Chloe’s stead and reaching up to wipe off her face. “You’re making such a mess of yourself, baby.”

Chloe’s eyes go wide as saucers as she squeaks out an astoundingly unsure, “I sure am.” She lets Max finish cleaning her off before seemingly coming to her senses and going even redder than Rachel had earlier. 

Speaking of, Rachel’s gone a little pink again herself. She looks over at Max with a gaze as hungry as it is curious. “Man, you’re out for blood today, aren’t you?” 

“Just having a bit of fun,” Max assures with a smile, watching on in unabashed satisfaction as Chloe devolves into a grumbling, mumbling mess hiding her face in her hands.

[sysig]

Bowtie Charm! Inspired by @zarla-s​‘ super cute rendition hehe 💕 (Patreon)

Bonus collar breakdowns:

Changes depending on the doodle!

[complicitgirlfrot]

Being spit roasted by two trans girls who keep talking about what a cute slut you are and how they’re going to fuck you hard enough from either end so they can frot in the middle

Kink rating game, send me any kink and I'll rate it with this scale:

Anti-kink | Soft limit | Neutral | Oh fuck | NEED

NEEDNEEDNEEDNEED

God i think i'd do anything for this to happen. One of those things that makes my heart race and head spin if i think about it for any more than a second.

Just.... the sweat pouring off them as they pound into me. The air getting muskier as time goes on. Getting teased for my moans muffled by the girl in my mouth. Their hands pulling me in opposite directions as they get more and more desperate. The stream of degrading praise as i take them so good. The intermittent pauses as they lean in to kiss each other over me. Being made to cum all over myself again and again. Feeling their hot thick girlcum fill me up and cover me. Shoveling as much of it as i can into my mouth. The gentle shower afterwards for cleanup followed by ice cream and a cuddle puddle in a golden hour sunbeam. The promise to meet up and do it all over again the following week....

Yeah i think i'm on board with this one

[honeydots]

I would like some teasers about that Xander - Soleil father-daughter support fic please 💖

HEHEHE that'd be my pleasure~~!! i'll put a couple things under the cut c:

the fanart nattie drew for me is from their c-support!! the gist of it is that xander's employing a similar punishment to soleil as he did to laslow for excessive flirting :3 but as they're working in xander's office, they both end up falling asleep, hence the little scene in the art <3

the rest of the support is about soleil lying through her teeth about how she totally isn't flirting anymore so she doesn't get in trouble again, and xander completely seeing through her lie and doing a dad-thing of trying to make her come clean herself instead of directly calling her out !!

[hecatesbroom]

For the ask game! Numbers 3, 25 (especially from a fashion POV!), and 30/31 as a double feature :)

Hii!! Thank you! You made me very happy with the opportunity to ramble about question number 25 haha.

What was the last song you listened to?

Technically, the intro song to The Golden Girls because I watched an episode yesterday before bed haha.

Other than that, I genuinely can't remember -- it's been a while since I listened to music! We recently got a piano and I've been listening to a a lot less music as a result, because I've been making it myself instead :) (very very simple tunes, but hey, it's still fun!)

What’s your favorite decade? (from a fashion POV)

OH this is hard!! I think if I were to pick just one, it'd be the 1970s -- but that's because it allows me to cheat & sort of include two of my other favourite decades (the 1900s and 1940s) in the process, because a lot of 70s fashion was inspired by those :) (and I have a weakness for pointy collars, what can I say?)

Idk, what I love about the 70s is how many contradictions there are? On one hand you have sleek a-line skirts and fitted blouses. On the other you have frills and ruffles, (slight) bishop sleeves and flowy maxi dresses, and those opposites (and the combination of them) are just really fun to me! (I also grew up on a lot of 70s media so honestly, I think it's also partly nostalgia haha)

But I think my favourite fashion decade is actually the 1940s. I love the silhouette, which is still somewhat reminiscent of the elegance of the 1930s, but a little harder in a way. Slightly more practical in its skirt lengths (for obvious reasons), a little more masculine in its shape (which is a fascinating trend you see more often in fashion history, during big wars. Fashion during the 1910s actually turned a little more masculine in shape as well, at the time of WWI!).

I'll stop here because I could go on forever, but yeah!! The 1970s because it's a cheat move to include 2 of my other favourite decades (and it's a lot easier to find 70s clothes to wear myself!) and the 1940s because... well, I just like 40s fashion haha

What are you looking forward to in the near future? & What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

In the very near future, I'm looking forward to visit my grandma for her birthday today :)

Honestly I don't tend to look more than a year or so into the future (and even that's a stretch at the moment haha) but I'm really looking forward to finishing school in 2,5 months!! It was only a year, but oh boy, was it a year. I'm mostly really excited to have more energy to be myself again, if that makes sense? I'll be able to do some more research for my writing projects (I've got a small stack of books waiting for me already), go thrift shopping, and see my friends again!! And my brain will also (hopefully) start function normally again lol. I'm really looking forward to being able to think at my natural speed again haha.