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#thank you so much for your question!!! i love talking about art
forsty · 2 years
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I have a question, what is ur drawing style? Like realism or caricature or something like that? I like to draw cartoony characters more than realism, but that’s because when I was in my art class we had to do realism. Also what’s your fav media to use? Ik that u do a lot of ur works on a program on a sketch pad, but off of the sketch pad which is ur fav?
Hey there! I never really like to define my drawing style, cause I have a hard time doing it. It depends on the drawing itself, or what I feel like drawing (what I feel fits best in regards to what I'm trying to portray/depict). I suppose it would be somewhere inbetween cartoony and realistic, cause I love both. Since I love both, I love mixing them, be creative with it and experiment.
My art/artstyle is kinda all over the place. I like experimenting and having fun with it. So sometimes my art will look more realistic and other times it will be more cartoonish. I don't think an artstyle is something that is set in stone, you can always change it up if you want to. You don't have to pick one artstyle and only do that one. Understanding one artstyle and mastering it often makes it easier to do others, too. It goes kinda hand in hand, you know?
(I also don't like it when art schools force students to focus on ONE THING. Cause art is so much more than just realism. Though I've never been to art school so I don't know alot about that)
As for art media, I mainly do digital art (when I say mainly, I mean only). I don't enjoy drawing traditionally, it just... doesn't do it for me. Some years ago I did some traditional stuff for inktober 2017 where I would line with pens and color with uh... promarkers I think it was? And while that was fun, I prefer digital art way more. I guess I just don't have the patience or attention span to do traditional art or both.
(also in case you're curious, I draw on an Ipad using procreate, I usually do all my sketching there before transferring it over to my PC where I use a Wacom Cintiq and Paint Tool SAI for lineart and coloring and everything else. Sometimes I'll do everything on my ipad, it depends on the drawing )
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drchucktingle · 5 days
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On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.
It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.
If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?
Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!
sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.
there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE
autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself
this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.
so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.
when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).
anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.
i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.
hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL
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shlonguru · 5 months
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Can we get one of Alastor fucking you in his radio booth and broadcasting it to fuck with Vox~ pretty please with a cherry on top💕
God thank you so much for your request and this idea, it really inspired me so much and I might do even more with this cause I find it inherently hot hehe. I'm so happy so many people enjoyed the first part of Alastor x Fem!Reader x Vox and I'm a degenerate so I wrote a second. I hope you guys like it too! Enjoy my fellow degenerates! o/
I would also like to thank @wipmoop for their amazing art cover for this smut! They're truly the best you can check them out !
And with this, I present you, drumroll please :
Alastor X Fem!Reader X Vox 2 - Rematch !
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Summary : You're tired of waiting for your rematch and decide to take things into your own hands. Are you ready to face the consequences of your actions ?
Warning : 18+, Smut, dirty talking, oral, oral creampie, creampie, threesome, cum swallowing, praise kink, teasing, overstimulation, rough, cunnilingus, hair pulling, bondage, spanking.
Word Count : 4883 words (Yup, it's worse than the first one.)
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After the events of the party Alastor brought you back to the hotel, explaining to Charlie that you might’ve hmm…had more than you could handle. She was delighted at the idea of you residing at the hotel and extended an unlimited invitation to you. You had your own room and actually enjoyed the people there more than you thought you would. You thought you’d give redemption a shot. However, you had been dreaming of your rematch with Vox and Alastor and it occupied most of your daily thoughts, as much as you hated to admit it.
It had been 2 weeks since you moved in and you hadn’t really been seeing Alastor since the party, he was a busy man after all, he was usually very polite when he saw you and would give you a hand kiss or wink at you. You hadn’t seen Vox at all since the party, but it wasn’t too surprising. Slowly, you started realizing that you were okay with what happened being a one-off thing.
This day you had just finished exercises with everyone and was chilling having some tea when Charlie exclaimed: “Oh Alastor is hosting his radio show! We should bring him some tea! Where’s Niffty? She’d be super-fast.” She looked around unable to find her.”
“She was chasing a family of roaches last time I saw her.” You explained drinking your tea. “I can bring him if you want.” You offered, not thinking much of it, but knowing the idea of seeing Alastor brought a slight smile to your face.
“Really?” Asked Charlie with sparks in her eyes. “That is such a selfless act I love it!”
“Is it?” You questioned. She nodded furiously before handing you a tray with a cup of tea, some milk, sugar, and some biscuits on it.
You left the group and started making your way to the radio tower. As you approached it you heard the demon speaking into his mic.
“And that my fellows, is why you should never trust a demon whose name starts with a V. I will return in a moment, enjoy this musical break of electro swing.”
You arrived in front of the door and knocked.
“Come in.” You heard.
You entered the room to find Alastor sitting in front of his station, his legs crossed.
“Oh, Hello Dear!” He exclaimed seeing it was you at the door.
“Hi! Charlie asked me to bring you some tea. How’s your show going?” You smiled as you entered the room. Alastor looked at you intensely as you walked past him, his smile as wide as ever, you could feel his gaze on your body, you were wearing a short red dress hugging your shape and flared at the bottom and a pair of black thigh highs. You sat the tray on the coffee table he had next to him and poured him a cup of tea.
“The show is going as well as it needs to be.” He replied coldly, pausing afterwards. “But more importantly, this dress suits you very well, I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since that night at the party.” He proclaimed calmly.
Your face flushed lightly and he noticed. He hadn’t talked about the party since that night and the simple mention of it sent back embarrassing flashbacks to your mind. Not that you regretted it.
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed. This is more casual though.” You replied, not looking him in the eyes.
“Is it now Dear?” Asked the demon searching for your gaze then looking you from the bottom up.
“I'm glad you like it." You teased then presented the cup in front of him and thought you noticed a quick glance at your cleavage.
This was enough for you to decide that you had done progress at the hotel and that meant you deserved a little reward, and if you were honest with yourself, you had missed Alastor and Vox’s touch since that night, after all, they had given you a night you could never forget as promised. You had been a good girl but now it was time to drop the act.
You lingered giving him a good look. You then asked innocently: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
He took a good look at you, almost as if he was trying to gauge your intentions. “Actually, I do, would you grab me the mic from the shelf over there.”
“Sure!” You replied smiling. You made your way to the shelf and pretended to struggle to grab the mic which fell to the floor and rolled under the shelf. You then got on all fours and bent over trying to grab it, almost exposing your parts. After grabbing it you stood back up and turned around only to be met with Alastor smiling widely, leaning on the counter of his studio.
“Are you doing okay, Dear?” He grinned tauntingly before taking a sip.
“I don’t know, am I? Here’s your mic.” You handed him the mic. He put down his cup of tea and grabbed the mic slowly, not breaking eye contact with you. He then proceeded to pull swiftly on it, bringing you with it as you hadn’t let go yet. Your body ended up pressed against his.
“You know if you had been craving my attention this badly you should have mentioned it sooner.” He exclaimed looking deep into your eyes.
“Did I crave your attention, or did you miss giving it to me?” You asked smugly smirking back.
“Oh, I can give it to you alright.” He smiled wider, his mouth an inch from yours.
“Do it then.” You smiled back, holding the fold of his jacket.
You felt his lips crash onto yours, the both of you dropping the mic simultaneously. He grabbed your hips tightly pulling you into the kiss, kissing you even deeper as he moved one hand behind your neck. He then lowered his hands to your ass before grabbing both of your cheeks tightly, pulling you off the ground, you legs locking around him instinctively. He turned around, still kissing you while holding your weightless body and sat you on the edge of the counter of his studio. He grabbed both of your wrists and laid you on your back, pinning your hands above your head. He then proceeded to kiss down your neck and onto your cleavage.
“Coming here dressed this way was your mistake.” He smirked.
“Debatable.” You smirked back.
He kept both of your hands pinned together with one of his and took a good look of your flushed, panting, and eager body. While scanning down your body he noticed something that made his eyes widen slightly before he went back to looking into your eyes with a devious smile. His second hand travelled down your body making you realize how sensitive you felt already.
“You might not have missed my attention but this part of you certainly has.” His hand then rubbed against your womanhood, making you realize just how soaked you were already as you squirmed.
“Listen Dear,” he looked at you, still rubbing your pussy, “I’m going to let go of your hands, but you may not touch anything but yourself with them.” He then let go of your hands and pussy before bending over you, resting both of his hands on each side of your head.
“Understood?” He menacingly whispered with a very serious grin.
You nodded.
“Good girl. And be sure to make all of hell know how good you’re feeling.” He smiled before removing his jacket which he threw on his couch.
“Wha-“ You were about to question but then saw him casually turn on the mic of his station. The sign [On Air] turning bright red confirming what you thought.
Alastor then proceeded to kneel in front of you and pull you closer, to the edge of the counter, he then ripped your panties in one movement and started digging in.
You immediately felt his tongue dig deep inside of you, earning a loud moan out of you as he spread your walls. The moans kept pouring as he enthusiastically ate you out, alternating between the inside and the outside of your pussy that he was eating like the first meal he’d had in days. He kept moving his tongue in motions that sent jolts up and down your body.
Before you realized, your hands had made their way into Alastor’s hair, pulling slightly as the pleasure intensified. You only noticed when the pleasure stopped. You looked down, confused, and immediately realized your mistake, letting go of his hair, as the tall demon stood back on his feet, looking at you calmly, which somehow made it scarier.
“Didn’t we agree on you touching nothing but yourself? See not only have you not touched yourself, but you’ve also touched me, and I am not part of you, yet.” He said menacingly.
“Sorry…” You muttered.
“Too late Darling, I’m afraid bad girls need to be disciplined.”
You stared at him as you witnessed him calmly removing his bowtie then grabbing both of your wrists once again, this time tying them together, in a very tight fashion.
“Good.” He exclaimed proud of his work.
And with that he resumed eating you out, this time more aggressively. You felt your walls tighten as he attacked them relentlessly, grabbing your thighs with both of his hands. Your moans were getting louder and louder as his name poured continuously out of your mouth until you felt the knot that had been building up break and the orgasm wash over your body, making your legs shake in the process.
“Holy shit…” You blurted, panting hard as you watched Alastor stand up and give you a quick kiss.
“See, you know how to be a good girl.” He whispered in your ear before licking your ear lobe. You felt his throbbing crotch press against yours.
Before any of you could add anything, you saw a glowing blue circle draw itself around the both of you.
“What is th-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence as you felt yourself fall down through what had now obviously been a portal. The radio demon fell with you, though in a much classier and composed manner, almost as if he knew it was coming.
You felt yourself land on something soft and looked around. It was a very large bed. Alastor had landed comfortably on his feet next to the bed.
“Took him long enough…” He huffed.
You scanned the room; it was very large and luxurious, like a palace. It was a giant bedroom with huge French windows, and tall wooden doors at its entrance. As soon as you laid your eyes on said doors they opened violently.
“The fuck is wrong with you !?” Yelled the handsome tall demon entering the room. It was a very furious Vox. Seeing him furious made you immediately crave him.
“Well, hello to you too.” Smiled Alastor, still in the same relaxed position.
“Why would you broadcast her for all of hell to listen to? Have you lost your mind?” He screamed unable to compose himself.
“I only did so long enough for you to notice.” He mentioned “And if you were so bothered by it, then maybe you should have noticed sooner.” He smiled wider.
“What a dumbass.” Vox walked past Alastor and arrived in front of you. He smiled for the first time.
“Long time no see y/n !” He leaned in front of you making you blush as you took a good look at his handsome figure.
“Hi Vox! I’ve missed you!” You smiled with your face still flushed from your orgasm. He held your chin up gently.
“Fuck I really missed that hot face of yours, I’m sorry you were stuck with such an ungrateful prick for so long, I knew you should’ve moved into my place instead. You’ve clearly gone way too long without getting some well-deserved action, which would have never happened here by the way.” He said that last part louder on purpose. He looked down for a second. “Dear, you are making my sheets wet already, did you really miss me that much?” He smiled looking at your exposed parts, dripping onto the bed.
“We could have settled on a date to have our rematch instead of you exposing her to every lowlife that would listen.” He turned to Alastor.
“Our dear friend couldn’t wait any longer and well I guess I had to take matters into my own hands.” He said innocently.
“You’re such a piece of shit.” Proclaimed Vox with a wide grin on his face, briefly glitching. “I see you’re unable to try and beat me without a head start you radio bastard.”
“It’s not like I was doing anything you could do anyways, Mr. Flat-screen-no-tongue.” The redhead smirked.
“Oh really?” He glitched lightly. “Sit back, relax and shut the fuck up.”
He turned to you, and away from Alastor.
“Y/n! Time to get that rematch baby! Get your ass on the edge of that bed and spread those legs for me!”
Your body moved on its own at this command, and you managed to sit up at the edge of the bed despite your wrists still tied together and sat with your thighs spread open, revealing your most intimate part which couldn’t lie about how much you wanted this. Vox looked at you intensely, taking in the sight he had missed more than he thought he had and bent over resting one hand on his knee, the other holding the bowtie tying your wrists together with a finger.
“Has someone been a bad girl~?” He teased.
“That’s entirely possible.” You smirked back. You could tell from his face he liked that. He let go of your wrists and grabbed both of your thighs tightly, making you lose your balance and fall back onto the bed. The next instant, you sensed something that felt like a tongue slide inside your pussy. It sent immediate literal jolts up your body, earning a loud moan out of you that surprised even you. You came a little from that but didnt say anything, you moved your head, looking at what was going on down there and saw a big blue tongue, sliding out of Vox’s screen and eating out your deepest parts.
“Oh wow!” You exclaimed not knowing what to make of the mix of intense pleasure, surprise and shock you were feeling. A quick glance behind Vox and you saw Alastor roll his eyes unbothered having a cup of tea on the sofa not too far. You didn’t have time to really process anything as the TV demon kept eating you out aggressively, making your orgasm come sooner than you would have expected. You had absolutely no control over how fast it was building up, you just felt it snap and felt yourself come, arching your back embracing the wave of pleasure, grabbing your dress tightly as you did so.
You felt the tongue pull out of you and giving your whole pussy a good lick before Vox stood back up, wiping his face with a satisfied look on his it.
“Fuck you’re so hot when you come.” He blurted trying to keep his composure, but you could already see his member throbbing through his pants.
“Are you done with your ridiculous endeavor? An attempt to prove what exactly?” Exclaimed Alastor in a tone he tried to portray as nonchalant, but everyone else could tell he was ticked off. “Can’t you see she comes so easily you could barely even consider it a challenge.”
That statement pissed you off because as much as you were enjoying yourself you didn’t like being underestimated.
“I had no idea my enjoying myself would make you this insecure?” You responded smirking in your brattiest tone.
“Oh, I like you more and more.” Said Vox raising his brows and smiling at you.
You could swear you noticed an eye twitch on Alastor.
“You brat…clearly if you’re still feeling this confident then we haven’t gone hard enough on you.” He declared with a wicked smile scaring you as much as it turned you on. Alastor teleported onto the bed next to you, grabbed your hair firmly into a ponytail and pulled you further into the large bed, leaving you no choice but to follow him on your knees before pulling your face close to his. Your tied hands were hanging down in front of you as you looked up at the radio demon. “I guess we’ll have to fix that.” He kissed you deeply shoving his tongue in your mouth making your head spin. He pulled away from the kiss for a second.
“Sorry Dear, I am but a terrible spectator.” He went back into the kiss making you dizzy as he pulled down the top of your dress making your breasts bounce out of it. He grabbed one of your tit with his free hand, pinching your nipple and making you whine softly.
"Now you’re going to use all that confidence you were so proud of just seconds ago and you’re going to take it all in.” He let go of you and you fell on all fours, now facing his crotch. You took a good look and immediately noticed how tight his pants looked around his cock, it almost looked painful. With your tied wrists you unzipped his pants, pulling out your reward.
‘Was it this big last time?’ you thought to yourself. A slight look of surprise covering your face for a brief instant.
“Yes, it was.” Replied the radio demon, as if he had read your mind. “You were just too eager to notice.” He finished. You blushed heavily before giving your best shot at taking as much of his member as you could in your mouth, it amounted to about 2/3 of his manhood.
“Not quite, Dear, here, let me give you a hand.” He chuckled before shoving your face down his member, lodging it all the way down your throat. You couldn’t breathe but it still felt good, you pussy was quivering and dripping, and Vox noticed.
“Damn, look at your cunt, don’t worry I gotchu.” You heard Vox who was right behind you and the moment after felt him give your ass a hard spank. That made you moan loudly, and you knew Alastor felt it when you heard a groan coming from him, you looked up only to be met with an intense and serious gaze filled with lust coming from the radio demon. His hands were both in your hair, guiding your mouth up and down, enjoying himself.
Vox stood right behind you, and you heard his pants unzip. Immediately after, you felt one of his hands rest on your hips and the tip of his cock rub against your entrance teasingly.
“Have you missed that?” He asked, lust exuding off his tone. After a few seconds of his teasing, you wanted to beg for him to insert it but you mouth was too full for that.
“Come on…” He teased, knowing he put you in an impossible position.
In one motion you pulled your mouth off Alastor’s cock and pleaded loudly. “Vox please I need your cock in me!” You looked at him with a lewd look on your face .
Seeing you in that state made him blush briefly before he composed himself again.
“Fucking finally! You’re so fucking hot!” He groaned loudly pushing all of him inside of you in one go making you scream of pleasure in the process. You immediately felt Alastor grab your hair in the same fashion he had moments ago, pulling your face close and squinting.
“Let’s not get distracted now, shall we?” He demanded sternly.
Vox felt you tighten around him as you heard those words, pulling an involuntary moan out of him.
“You naughty girl, you’re loving this aren’t you?” He spanked roughly you before starting to thrust at a rather fast pace.
“Obviously.” Declared Alastor smiling before shoving your face back onto his cock. He was the one thrusting now, in fact, they both were and soon enough, you felt that coil build up once again in your insides. Your eyes rolled back as you felt the knot snap.
Vox felt you tighten almost uncomfortably around his member as you came. He grabbed both of our ass cheeks tightly.
“That’s right, come for me!” He groaned throwing his head back and fucking you through your climax, holding your ass tightly then spanking it.
You had just finished coming when you felt Alastor pull out of your mouth. You exhaled loudly catching your breath.
“Good job not suffocating, here’s your reward.” Said Alastor grabbing your panting figure, pulling you off Vox and propping you onto his cock as he stood on his knees, you were still panting but it was now intertwined with moans as he effortlessly moved you up and down his member. You moved your tied up wrists over his head, wrapping your arms around his neck and grabbing it gently, you kissed him softly yet longingly as the moans continuously flooded out of your mouth. You felt his member grow thicker inside of you, as expressed by your moans becoming louder. Your kiss was interrupted by the TV overlord who grabbed your chin, turning your face away from the radio demon.
“Now you can’t just give all your holes away so easily my dear.” He said calmly standing bent over next to you.
“My apologies.” You replied looking up into his eyes.
“You’re forgiven.” He added with a smooth voice before you felt his lips meet yours. You were surprised at how soft they felt, and you had just found out he could do such a thing. He probably didn’t do it every day, but he was such a good kisser, you were dazzled by the kiss before he pulled out of it.
“Now open up dove, we’re not done just yet.” He grinned.
He hadn’t finished his sentence that you had opened your mouth, eagerly awaiting him.
“My god you’re such a good little slut.” He laughed not able to contain himself any longer, he pushed himself deep into your mouth and moaned loudly as he did so, you started moving your head swallowing his member to the base each time.
You hadn’t noticed because of how gradual it had been, but Alastor was now moving much faster than how he had started, hitting your deepest parts each time.
“Are you going to come again and prove me right?” Alastor smirked at you, pausing his thrusting for a moment and spanking your ass roughly. You moaned loudly around Vox’s cock and stopped moving as he immediately grabbed your head and kept the thrusting going.
“Nuh uh, you can’t stop yet.” The TV demon said as he kept pumping in and out of your mouth.
You looked at Alastor from the corner of your eye.
“What is it sweetheart? The TV got your tongue?” He spanked you again this time harder. Your pussy tightened around him, and he felt it, making his grin widen even more.
You looked at him trying your hardest to stay in control.
“Aww you still think you can decide whether you come or not. How adorable…I guess it’s time I teach you this lesson.” He squinted his eyes challengingly before he spanked you one last time, harder than all the other time, this time immediately grabbing both of your ass cheeks very firmly, not breaking eye contact with you.
“I…” He slammed you against his cock. “…decide…” He slammed harder. “…if…” He slammed even harder, digging his nails into your ass. “…and when…” He slammed hard and you felt yourself dangerously close to the edge. “…you come!” He grinned, slamming one last time harder than you had ever felt him thrust in you and he saw your eyes roll back as your pussy started pulsating around his cock. You moaned loudly around Vox’s cock, who pulled out just in time to hear it aloud. You were panting hard, your whole body going limp.
Vox grabbed your face and pressed your cheeks together bringing his face close to yours. “You’ll relax soon enough bitch, but we’re not done yet.” He then proceeded to grab you off Alastor and prop you once again on all fours. You were wobbly at best. “Come on are you already exhausted? After all this big talk?” He spanked you now red ass making you whine. You moaned softly and looked at him with pleading eyes. Your legs felt weak from all this thrusting and climaxing, and he could tell. He let out a soft sigh.
“Here. Let me give you a hand.” He grabbed one of your legs and propped it on his shoulder. “Now you’re going to take it like a good girl?” He looked at you his eyes focusing intensely on you.
“Yes, Sir.” You pleaded. As soon as he heard those words coming out of your mouth he felt an irrepressible urge to take you and you felt all of him enter you once more, at this point your pussy being overstimulated felt so sensitive everything felt ten times more intense. You moaned loudly while your tongue hung out of your mouth, and you gripped the sheets tightly as Vox started thrusting more roughly than he previously had.
Alastor, seeing your tongue hanging and your mouth open, took this opportunity to push himself inside your mouth and started thrusting.
“Enjoy your own taste dear, because you’re about to taste me.” He declared with a sadistic gaze on his now flushed face. You loved seeing the evolution of his boldness as lust took over.
“Shit you’re so fucking tight!” Vox thrusted hard, gritting his teeth, and digging his nails into your thigh, pulling it close against his chest as he lost himself in pleasure, his movement becoming more erratic as he glitched and he brought himself closer to the final release, nevertheless, he never failed to hit your G-spot with each thrust. You felt it coming, despite your best efforts, they both felt you tense up more and more. You still did a great job wrapping your tongue around the radio demon’s shaft, you heard his breath get shakier as he maintained composure fucking your mouth, one hand under your chin and the other in your hair.
You felt the knot about to snap as you hear them both declare as one:
“Are you ready?”
They both thrusted deep in you one last time, releasing simultaneously, filling you up from both sides as you came one last time, almost seeing stars at this point.
Alastor let out the closest thing to a moan as he emptied himself directly down your throat tightening around his member, slowly pulling himself out afterwards and enjoying the sight of your dazed expression.
“Good job.” He patted your cheek smiling and slightly panting, much more relaxed than a few moments ago.
Vox pulled out next and you immediately collapsed onto the bed, cum flowing out of you.
“Holy shit you felt so fucking good!” Vox also felt all sorts of dizzy after his orgasm. He quickly got a grip and they both grabbed what was necessary to clean you up, laying you down comfortably after Alastor removed his bowtie from your sore wrists and Vox handed you one of his shirts to wear.
You were fast asleep and woke up probably a few hours later to both of them having tea in the corner of the room.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, you can’t talk your way into being better in bed, she literally blacked out after I made her come, that’s how good it was.” Expressed Vox with frustration.
“Maybe that or you were just so boring she fell asleep.” Replied Alastor calmly sipping his tea.
“Fuck off, weren’t you facefucking her as well? Wouldn’t that make you boring by extension?” He proclaimed, anger taking over his tone.
Alastor ignored him. You moved in the bed making it creak and earning their attention.
“Oh, looks like our friend has finally awaken from her great slumber.” Announced the radio demon.
They both arrived by your side as you fully came to.
“Hello beautiful.” Exclaimed Vox, with his usual smile and composure. “How are we doing?”
“Well!” You replied attempting to stretch then realizing how sore your whole body felt. “Never mind.” You added.
They both smiled with a satisfied look on their face, almost as if admiring their work.
“Yeah, you need to rest. Next time try not to bite off more than you can chew sweetheart.” Declared Vox with Alastor nodding approvingly next to him.
“Any idea who performed best this time Dear?” Asked the radio demon.
“I mean, it’s hard to give you an answer when you both do whatever you want at all times.” You said with a hint of frustration. “Maybe if you both stuck to one hole, I would be able to tell.” You added, genuinely trying to recall all the events in the right order.
“Hmm, No.”
“Nope.” They both proclaimed simultaneously.
“We will, however, keep fucking you until you give us an answer.” Gloated Vox with a hint of excitement in his voice.
“I’m afraid it’s the only way.” Added Alastor calmly.
“Fair.” You conceded.
‘Holy shit what did I get myself into…’ You thought to yourself.
“Now, rest my dear, you’re going to need it.” Said Vox still smiling at you before vanishing into electricity out of the room.
“I’ll see you soon Darling.” Declared Alastor before smiling and disappearing into a shadow.
To be continued...
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Vox is genuinely so effortless to write. I love how versatile he can be, Alastor on the other hand is rough -.- but once I'm done I can fully appreciate it.
PS : I know Alastor is Aroace and I hope no one takes offense to my work. I genuinely take pleasure in writing smuts and I've been loving his personality that's all.
Peace out ! o/
3K notes · View notes
itsascreambaby96 · 1 year
Note
Could you please write a poly!ghostface X reader friends to lovers smut (w/ some fluff)
I had so much fun with this! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy it! Please leave feedback🩷
(A/N: Header by me)
Warnings: SMUT! 18+, mdni. fem!reader. Oral both female and male recieving. Name calling, pet names, p in v sex. No use if condom(be responsible please, life isn't fanfiction). Drinking. Everyone in this fic is over 18. if I missed anything please let me know.
Pairing: Stu Macher x fem!reader x Billy Loomis
Word count: 6.7k
Just the three of us
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You and Stu have been best friends since first grade. You were paired to sit together. Initially you thought he was pretty annoying. Always talking, not paying much attention and messing up your work. Little you was really ready to throw hands. Stu loved annoying you! He thought that was the best way to make friends. Taking away the pens you needed to finish your drawing in art class. Or copying your maths notes. Always asking you ridiculous questions that he knew you couldn't answer. He thought it funny how your little face scrunched up. Little Stu was a menace. But he didn't take too kindly to other kids picking on you. It almost never happened.
But when one of the older boys pushed you into the dirt one day, with your new dress, which he knew was new because he's never seen you wear it before and you told him so and were so happy about it, it was over. He didn't care that the boy was older than him, and slightly taller, he threw himself at the boy and a fight broke loose. The teacher pulled them apart. Stu was dirty but he didn't care. All he cared for was you. So once the teacher's were done with their chiding he ran to look for you. He didn't have to go very far as you were waiting for him. He thought you would snap at him but you gave him the biggest hug you could. Stu didn't know it yet but his heart skipped a beat and would do so ever since when you hugged him. Ever since then the two of you have been inseparable. He still annoyed you during classes but now you knew that he didn't mean bad by it and always had a smart comeback to his weird questions. No one could come between the two of you. 
Or so you thought. Once you two entered middle school Stu met a new friend. His name was Billy. Suddenly Stu spent every minute with him. You hated it. You tried confronting Stu but he said that you made stuff up. Of course it hurt but maybe he was right? You gave him some space, which seemed to work in your favour as you made some other friends along the way. Girl friends, which you really didn't have before. Stu hated to see that. He was supposed to be your best friend. Suddenly he kept inviting you over again, so much so that you didn't spend so much time with your girl friends anymore. You tried to make time for them but it wasn't nearly enough. Most of them didn't want to hang out with you anymore. The only real girl friend you had was Tatum. She had a lot of friends so she never minded when you didn't have time, but she was also happy when you did. 
The other down side with Stu inviting you over again was that Billy was there as well. You still didn't like him the first few times you came around. It wasn't like he was unfriendly or anything, just the fact that he stole your best friend. Stu must have talked to Billy cause the boy always made sure to be at his best behaviour around you. Making sure you started to like him. You don't really remember how it happened but suddenly it wasn't just you and Stu anymore but you, Stu and Billy. You really grew fond of Billy, you even developed a little crush on the boy at one point. Of course you never told him or Stu, for many reasons. One because you knew he didn't feel the same and two Stu would make fun of you. You also didn't want to ruin your little friend group. So you ignored it, which worked very well.
Until the summer before you guys started High School. You guys were 15 and at the Lake in the woods. You had bought a new bikini for the occasion. Stu's eyes widened as you took off your summer dress to reveal the new swimwear you bought. He was checking you out, and when he noticed his swim trunks getting tighter, he jumped into the lake immediately. He didn't care that it was cold as hell, on the contrary it helped him. When he came back up to the surface he heard your laugh and gave you his usual wide grin in return. He also noticed Billy checking you out, more subtle than him. He felt a little jealous but shook his head. That was silly. 
You guys had an amazing day at the lake, several water fights and dunking each other, the previous thoughts all gone. It was late but the sun was still up. You were dry again and laughing with your boys. You don't know how it came up but they were telling you about their first kisses. To be honest you felt a little jealous but you thought that was because you didn't have your first kiss yet. It was a little embarrassing really, though you knew there was nothing wrong with it but you kind of felt left out of a secret club, that your best friends already joined without you. You had gotten really quiet as Stu tells the story of how he had "a real makeout session" with Stacy from your Math class. Billy noticed your lack of attention and nudged you softly, asking you what's wrong with you. That also got Stu's attention. Your face grew hot as now both Stu and Billy were looking at you. You averted your gaze and told them that you didn't have your first kiss yet. Billy shrugged his shoulders.
"That's not that bad. It's not like it's a big deal." 
But that didn't really convince you. 
"If it bothers you so much one of us could kiss ya." That got your attention and you looked at Stu. 
"You are making fun of me!" 
"Babes you know I would never!"
You just raise an eyebrow at that. 
"Fine I do. But not right now. I am dead serious! Cross my heart!" He was doing the cross over his heart trying to look serious, but his eyes were full of mischief. You looked over to Billy. 
"I mean… he is not wrong. If you really wanna."
That took you even more by surprise. You thought Billy would try to talk Stu out of it but you were wrong. He was also thinking this idea was great. You contemplated it. What would be the harm right? It's just a kiss. It's not like that would change anything. Right? Right. 
"Alright."
"Really?" Stu asked, his face lit up like a childs on christmas. 
"Yeah. I mean it's just a kiss right?"
"Yeah nothing special about it." Billy said.
"So who do you want to be your first?" Stu wiggled his eyebrows. 
Your face grew hot again. Of course they were both attractive. And you had a crush on Billy once. But Stu was your best friend, you knew him longer. This gave you anxiety already. You didn't want it to be awkward with either one of them. But you also wanted this to be over. And who knows how much longer you'd have to go without kissing. You didn't want to be a bloody amateur when you got your first boyfriend.
So you decided. You stood up only to sit down right in front of Stu, who gave you a big smile. Little did you know that jealousy bubbled up in Billy at that. Though he didn't know who he was more jealous of, you or Stu. He shook his head.
"What do I do with my hands?"
"Whatever you want. You can put them around my neck or one on my face. Or you can just leave them at your side. Though that would be kinda awkward."
You nodded and so you shyly put your hands on Stu's shoulders, softly gripping them.
Your nerves were acting up as Stu slowly scooted a little closer and his face was inches from your own. You closed your eyes as you felt your lips connect. His lips were a little chapped but it didn't feel unpleasant. Then he started to move his lips, you tried to copy his movements. It wasn't perfect by any means, even a little sloppy, but you actually enjoyed yourself. You were clinging to Stu as he somehow managed to slip his tongue into your mouth and you let out a little squeak, feeling Stu grin against your lips. All too soon he broke the kiss. With your eyes still closed you tried to follow his lips. Stu let out a chuckle at that and you could hear Billy clear his throat. That snapped you out of your little trance, your face incredibly hot. You looked over to Billy.
"Wanna show me what you learned?" 
Your eyes widened a little at that but you nodded nonetheless. He switched places with Stu real quick, Stu taking off his hands from your hips which you didn't even know were there. You already missed them. But they were replaced with Billy's. A little smaller than Stu's, but just as pleasantly warm. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Billy grinned, squeezing your hips a little.
"Ready?"
You nodded, smiling. Closing your eyes again as he closed the space between you two and his lips met yours. His lips were softer than Stu's, the kiss already feeling different than Stu's too. Less sloppy, as if Billy really knew what he was doing. He was easily dominating that kiss. You could really get used to kissing them. Scraping together every ounce of confidence you had you let your tongue slip inside his mouth, teasing his tongue with yours, just like you felt Stu do to you just moments ago. You could feel Billy letting out a soft sigh. Unbeknownst to you Stu was watching you two like a hawk. He wished he could join the two of you. You were getting a little lost in the feeling, your heart beating out of your chest. But Billy decided that this was long enough and broke the kiss. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked at Billy, his eyes never sucked you in more.
"I think you will be good now."
"Yeah, your future boyfriend will be really lucky." There was a slight edge to Stu's voice. But you couldn't figure out why. 
After that, conversation resumed as normal and you were convinced that was the end of that. And it was. Nothing seemed to have changed and after the summer you guys went to highschool. Still the best of friends. Both Billy and Stu started dating a few girls here and there during that time. And even you went on a few dates but you were never really in love with them. They always seemed to have a problem with how close you were with Billy and Stu. More often than not they cheered you up after another guy dumped you. You were very grateful for that. You of course were there for them too. Stu being dumped by Casey Becker was really hard on him. You had a sleepover with him the whole weekend, with Billy showing up as well in the middle of the night. As much as Stu was upset it was one of the best weekends in a long time. You guys were watching movies all night, stuffing your face with Junk Food and sweets, and talking a lot. It felt like you grew closer to them again. While you guys were sleeping you were squished between them, Stu in front of you and Billy pressed against your back. It made you feel all warm inside and you realised that you might be feeling more for your best friends than you were supposed to. You knew nothing would happen so you were just happy with what you've got.
Now it was your 18th Birthday. Initially you just wanted a chill day, maybe going to eat some pizza with your boys but Stu had a different idea. And so you were at his house, which was full of people. You were convinced Stu invited the whole school. Both Billy's and Stu's 18th birthdays were a few months ago but they didn't have this big of a party, you think. You were making your way to the couch, people wishing you a happy birthday left and right. Finally you could join Tatum and Sydney on the sofa letting out a big sigh.
"Stu really went all out for you huh?"
"Yeah. I think it's a bit much but I couldn't say no to him when he looked at me with his big puppy eyes and his stupid grin."
"So when are you going to tell him you are in love with him?"
You choked on your own saliva at that. 
"I am not in love with him."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
"You know I am pretty sure you are not supposed to tease the birthday girl on her birthday."
Tatum rolled her eyes playfully. 
"Whatever."
You continued talking with the two girls when suddenly Stu plopped down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.
"You having fun, pretty girl?"
You gave him a soft smile.
"Yeah. Thanks again for the party. But you know I would have been fine with it just being a chill night with you guys and some drinks maybe and a cake. By the way, why is there no cake?" You were pouting a little. The cake was always the best thing about birthdays.
Stu laughed at that.
"Don't worry. Billy is bringing the cake. And no he didn't bake it. That would go horribly." You giggled and softly hit his chest.
"I think you are confusing his baking abilities with your own."
He looked at you in fake shock.
"I am a fantastic baker, just so you know."
"Mhmh yeah and that time you let the cookies burn that were supposed to be sold at the baking sale two years ago was totally intentional."
"Totally!" You two laughed again.
A few moments later Billy came in with the cake. They lit the candles and everyone began to sing Happy Birthday to you. You hated every second of it, not knowing what to do with yourself besides standing there. Both Billy and Stu grinning, they knew you hated this kind of attention on yourself. You were relieved when you finally could blow out the candle and everyone got a piece of cake, including you. 
Billy came over to you, hugging you close. 
"Happy Birthday sweetheart."
"Thanks Billy." You always enjoyed his hugs. Other than Stu, Billy wasn't much of a hugger, so his hugs were a tad more special. Not that you disliked Stu's hugs though. Speaking of Stu, he couldn't stand being left out and so he wrapped you and Billy in a big bear hug.
"I love you guys so much!"
"How much did you have to drink already?" You were giggling. Billy, not so amused, nudged Stu rather harshly with his elbow, so Stu let go of you. 
After finishing your cake, and drinking another beer, you went dancing with your girl friends. You weren't much of a dancer usually but it's your birthday and maybe you should let a little loose here and there. So that's what you did. Soon after you felt a pair of hands on your hips, pulling you close to a hard chest. You were about to tell the person off but you recognised Stu's cologne instantly. Relaxing, you continued dancing. Getting bolder you started to dance more suggestively, swaying your hips more, going down almost to your knees and back up. When you were back up, Stu turned you around. Your arms flew around his neck, smiling up at him. You couldn't quite pin the look in his eyes but you didn't care. You craved his lips on yours. Your eyes flicked down to them and you could see them forming a lazy grin, his tongue poking out to wet them. You were mesmerised by the movement, your own lips parting slightly, making Stu's eyes flick down to then. His eyes became more hooded and his face inched closer. Your eyes were fluttering close, his breath fanning over your face, the smell of beer, which you would normally find disgusting was invading your senses paired with Stu's own intoxicating smell. The anticipation was slowly killing you. You could already feel his lips brush yours when suddenly Stu was janked back making you stumble.
You blinked your eyes open and saw him with a group of guys hollering and throwing shots back. You let out a huff, disappointment settling in. Without looking at him again you pushed past the group and went into the kitchen to get another drink. In the kitchen you found some people making out, blocking you from the counter with the drinks. Groaning, you took a bottle of water and went back to the living room. You could see Stu, he was still with the same group of guys, laughing and dancing. You just shook your head, plopping down on the couch. Your sour mood didn't last long as some Tatum pulled you up by the arms again and started dancing with you. The little incident between you and Stu soon forgotten
Some time around 1 o'clock in the morning when the last person left, you were helping Stu clean up. Billy was also there though really you were the only one cleaning up. The two boys were on the couch talking quietly amongst each other. After you finished the kitchen, you decided that the rest could be done tomorrow. Well technically today. 
You plopped down between them, not noticing the look they shared. 
"You had a great time today?" It was Billy asking you.
You nodded, smiling.
"I normally don't like big parties like that."
"But?" It was Stu's turn to ask.
"But … this was amazing. Thank you again." You put your palm against Stu's cheek, smiling softly at him. Realising how close you were to him, it reminded you of the situation earlier, making your face heat up. You had to look away, opting to look over at Billy. Which was a mistake. He gave you the same intense look you had seen on Stu earlier. You cleared your throat a little, looking away. You felt two fingers softly gripping your chin, turning your face towards Billy again, who was so much closer to you now. Your breath got caught in your throat. You were about to ask him what's wrong but before you could even form one word, Billy's lips were on you, soft yet firm. You were shocked but not in a bad way. Your eyes fluttered close and you were melting against Billy. Completely forgetting that Stu was right behind you. Billy's lips moved against yours with determination, his tongue slipping inside your mouth soon after. You were so lost in the kiss that you at first didn't notice that Stu began to pepper your neck with kisses. Only when he started to suck a mark onto your soft skin did you realise, letting out a breathy moan, leaning against Stu now.
Billy parted from you, making you almost whine. He grinned at that,  taking a quick look at you. Your eyes were closed, now biting your lip as Stu still worked on the one side of your neck. Your eyebrows were pulled together in pleasure. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest, even more so when Billy began to kiss the other side of your neck. One of Stu's hands creeping you to one of your boobs, groping and squeezing the soft flesh. A breathy moan left you. The both of them were driving you wild. You were gripping at Billy's shirt, making him bite into your neck. One of his hands was working on your pants, slipping a hand inside of them once it was opened. His hand dipped into your panties and he let out a pleased hum.
"My my, already drenched and we barely did anything to you yet sweetheart. 'S that all for us?" Billy spoke against your neck, leaving goosebumps. 
You quickly nodded your head, a breathy "Yes" left your lips. You could feel Stu grinning against your neck. 
Billy slowly dragged a finger through your wet folds, making you squirm in Stu's grip. After a little more of this teasing, having coated his fingers in your juice, Billy slipped one of his fingers inside of your dripping hole. Your mouth opened in a silent moan,  Stu's hand grabbing your boob harder. Billy began to slowly fuck you open with his finger. Your head fell against Stu, one arm behind you, around Stu's neck, gripping him at the nape of his neck, the other hand still fisting Billy's shirt. You tried to muffle your moans, which soon flew out of the window as Billy added a second finger soon after. You had sex before but those guys never fingered you. Heck even the sex with them was nothing compared to what Billy could do to you with his two fingers. You wondered, if this is how good his fingers could make you feel, how amazing must it feel to be really fucked by him. 
Billy's intense gaze never left your face as he fucked you with his fingers, his pants were growing tighter by the minute, he knew Stu was in much the same position. Billy started scissoring his fingers, his thumb soon joining in to play with your clit. You started withering, but lucky for you and Billy, Stu had a tight grip on you. He had resumed sucking hickey's onto your neck. 
"I always knew you were tight. But fuck this is even better than I imagined. Can't wait to stuff you full with my dick." 
Billy's words only made you more wet, if that was even possible. Even with your pants still on you could hear the squelching sound your pussy made, feeling Stu's hard dick press into your lower back told you he liked what he was hearing too. Your skin felt so hot, one could think you had a fever, a soft sheen of sweat on your forehead and your cleavage formed. Stu wanted nothing more than to lick it off of the swell of your boobs. 
Suddenly Billy removed his fingers, making you whine in protest. Both boys chuckled at that. 
"What's the problem, pretty girl?" Stu's tone was mocking, but it only made you hornier. You didn't dare speak.
"Cat's got your tongue?" Billy's voice didn't sound any less taunting. You looked at them both pleadingly. Billy pulled his hand out of your pants, ready to lick his fingers clean, but Stu stopped him, gripping Billy's wrist. Stu leaned forward and closed his mouth around Billy's fingers, holding eye contact with the other one. Billy let out an audible breath through his nose. Your mouth dropped open as you watched the two. It made you realise that this was definitely not the first time these two have fooled around. You felt a bit honoured that they felt comfortable enough to show you this. Once Stu seemed satisfied he popped Billy's fingers out of his mouth, making a show of licking his lips. 
"Delicious." He kept grinning. Billy gave you a quick glance, before his eyes locked back onto Stu. He gripped the boy's shirt and pulled him closer, making you fall a little to the side, as their lips connected. You could see that it was all tongues and teeth, both of them groaning. Billy could taste you on Stu's tongue and it was driving him crazy. They parted and you could see a string of saliva connecting them. They grinned at each other, then their gaze turned back to you, making you feel even hotter than before. Their look was almost predatory, making you gulp. In a matter of seconds they removed your clothes and you were back against Stu's chest, sitting almost at the edge of the couch. Billy was sitting in front of you, having a perfect view at your glistening folds. 
"Damn, Stu wish you could see this. Most perfect little pussy I have ever seen." Billy couldn't take his eyes off of it. You were squirming under Billy's gaze.
"Please Billy."
"Did ya hear that Billy? I think our precious girl wants something." You looked up at Stu, pleading with your eyes.
"I did hear. Though I am not sure what exactly it is that you want. Tell us Princess. Don't be shy."
"Yeah, don't be shy now."
You swallowed, grabbing onto every ounce of confidence and self control you still owned. 
"Could you please put your mouth on my pussy Billy?" Your voice came out weaker than anticipated. You were afraid he didn't hear you, making you repeat yourself. But he did.
"Aw, of course, pretty girl. Can't leave the birthday girl hanging now, can I?"
You shook your head fast. Billy gave you one last grin, before diving in. Your hands gripped onto his hair in seconds. You always knew his mouth was good but this exceeded your expectations. You didn't care if your moans sounded pathetic, you only knew how good it felt having Billy suck on your clit, having two of his fingers in your pussy again. You were basically grinding against him, one of his hands squeezing your thigh. That would definitely leave a bruise you were sure, but you didn't mind in the slightest. Stu turned your face to the side so he could kiss you. Moaning against his lips as you could feel Billy switching it up, his thumb now rubbing your clit as his tongue was deep inside of you. 
Stu on the other hand was kissing you like his life depended on it. There was nothing of the uncertainty he had when you guys first shared your first kiss. But still sloppy, in a different kind of way. His tongue was massaging yours, one of his hands on your boobs again, toying with your nipples. He was biting your lip, almost drawing blood, making you squeal. 
Billy was looking up, groaning at seeing the two of you kiss. Your grip on his hair getting tighter by the second and he could feel your gummy walls clamping around his tongue. He began to lick and suck at your harsher. He desperately wanted to see you fall apart for him and Stu. You had to part from Stu with a gasp, breathing in deep. Stu pulled at your bottom lip. Your eyebrows were creased together. You were so close. Looking down at Billy you swore his eyes were glinting. He knew you were going to come, you could tell. Your lips were swollen, from the kiss with Stu, who was still playing with your nipples. Pulling and squeezing and twisting, the pain of it so pleasurable. This, paired with Billy's relentless mouth on your dripping pussy, seriously you were sure you would be dripping on the floor, wouldn't it be for Billy sucking it all up, were enough to send you flying over the edge. A high pitched moan left your lips, your thighs clamping around Billy's head, your hips lifting off of the edge of the sofa as your orgasm crashed through you. It has never felt so intense before. Stu was holding you close as Billy helped you ride out every last drop of your pleasure. 
Stu softly pecked the side of your head when you finally calmed down. Billy didn't waste a drop of your juice and you had to push his head away from you, releasing him from between your thighs. His chin and lips were wet from your arousal. His eyes almost black. He made a show of licking his lips and you could feel Stu shuffling behind you. 
Billy was the first to speak. "You ok sweetheart?"
You nodded. "I'm fucking fantastic." He gave you a cheeky grin. 
"Do you wanna continue orrrrr…" Stu spoke up behind you.
You chuckled breathless. "Definitely continue." 
Billy stood up helping you stand up on shaky legs. He gave you a cheeky grin at that, making you swat his chest, giggling. 
When Stu stood up he didn't waste a second to throw you over his shoulder, giving your ass a slap, groping it right after. He made his way up the stars, Billy right behind the two of you. 
Inside the room, Stu threw you onto the bed, making you bounce. Both of the boys looking at your boobs. You almost wanted to cover up from their intense staring. Stu was the first to snap out of it, removing his clothes, almost tripping as he took off his pants. His erection slapping against his lower stomach. You moaned quietly at the sight, biting your lip. The tip was a deep pink, already leaking precum, there was a slight curve upwards. He was definitely longer than your previous boyfriends and just a tad bit girthier. 
"Like what ya seeing babe?" He gave you a grin, but you couldn't see any of his usual silliness shine through. All you could see in his eyes was hunger. And you were pretty sure you were his next meal. He came stalking over to you, taking both your ankles into his hand he pulled you closer to him, making you lie down on your back in the process. As he crawled over you, you wrapped your legs around him, making him feel your wet heat on his throbbing dick. 
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." He was almost growling.
"Then let's not waste any more time, yeah?" Your voice was dripping with excitement. Stu gave you a quick but forceful peck before lining up with your heat. He was rubbing his tip between your folds. Both of you were mesmerising as he slowly pushed inside of you. The both of you are moaning in unison. 
"Fuck Billy's right. 'S the most perfect little pussy. Shit you're grippn me so tight."
"Stu please move."
You were trying to rock against him but he was gripping your hips so hard there would definitely be handprint bruises. No chance of moving. 
"Shit wait a sec babe, don't wanna bust too soon. You feel so good around me."
You could hear a scoff behind you. Craning your neck you could see Billy standing on the other side of the bed. Naked. Your eyes immediately go to his dick. He was definitely girthier than Stu, not as long tho. His tip also a bit darker than Stu's. 
"What are you a fucking virgin Stu?" Billy was teasing.
"Shut up man, you wouldn't be able to control yourself either." 
With that Stu began to almost pull out entirely making you whine, which soon turned into a loud moan as he snapped his hips back into yours, sending you moving along the bed. Your head getting closer to Billy's dick as he was still standing on the edge on the other side. Stu's pace was relentless, reaching so deep inside you, you swear you could almost feel him inside your throat. He didn't hold back with his moans either. Ever the vocal type no matter what. You didn't mind though, it let you know that he was enjoying himself. Billy shuffled a little closer, gripping his dick. You were already salivating at the thought of having him inside your mouth. He twirled his tip on your lips, coating them in his precum. 
"Open up sweetheart."
You didn't need to be told twice, open your mouth eagerly. Billy gave an appreciative hum as he slowly slid into your mouth. You were gagging a little but still wanted more. 
Stu was still snapping into you, watching as you swallowed Billy's cock. 
"Damn you really are an eager little slut huh?"
Stu's speech was slightly slurred, completely drunk on your pussy. Billy was slowly fucking your mouth, tears were welling up in your eyes. You were loving every second of this. His hands gripped your boobs, squeezing them, using them as leverage too. They were making you see stars, especially when Billy pushed himself all the way in, holding you there for a few seconds. Stu groaned seeing your throat swell around Billy's dick. He couldn help but touch it. Then Billy pulled out, letting you take a breath. You were gagging, tears streaming out of your eyes. Once you inhaled enough air again you pulled Billy back in, eagerly taking him back into your mouth. Bobbing your head best you could in this position, sucking on the tip every time you came up. Stu started to rub circles on your clit, making you clamp down on him.
He let out a breathy "Fuck." You were growing closer by the second. You could tell by Stu's sloppy thrusts that he was nearing his end too. Billy started to throb inside your mouth. He was ready to pull out and came all over your tits but you had a different plan. Pulling him back in. Billy groaned at your eagerness, coming down your throat almost instantly. You swallowed everything eagerly. Then he pulled out, with a satisfied hum. He softly strokes your cheek, bending down to give you a peck. Then he left to go get everyone some water to drink.
Stu gripped your cheeks, squeezing them and kissing you hungrily, still drilling into you. You were whimpering, so close now. He was still rubbing your clit and your legs began to shake and you came, with a high pitched scream. With a loud groan Stu followed right behind you and came deep inside of you. Riding out both of your orgasms, your legs still shaking. He came to a halt, dropping on top of you, making all air leave your lungs. You had half a mind telling him to get off, but it was actually nice to have his weight on top of you. You wrapped your arms around him, softly scratching his back. He was letting out satisfied hums.
"Am I interrupting?"
You hadn't noticed Billy entering the room again. His voice had an edge to it. 
"Don't be silly. Come here."
Your voice, a little scratchy, was still soft when saying this. 
He let out a huff but still came over to the bed. Stu finally moved, pulling out of you and laying down beside you. Billy took his place on your other side, giving you an open water bottle that you could drink. You gave him a thankful kiss and you could swear he was actually blushing a little at this, like he hasn't just eaten you out like a starved man and fucked your throat moments ago. You were gulping down the water while Billy cleaned you up between your legs with a rag. Once he was done he threw it to the side not caring where it landed really.
You were snuggling up to him, Stu close behind you, enjoying the comfort of the post orgasmic bliss. You closed your eyes, very tired now. You guys should talk about what just happened and what it meant for your friendship but you were too tired. 
You were almost asleep when suddenly Stu jolted upward. "Oh!"
"Shit! What?!"
You almost had a heart attack. 
"We forgot to give you your birthday present!I'll be right back!"
With that he was out of the bed walking downstairs to get your present. 
"Is he serious now? That could have waited till morning"
You dropped your head onto Billy's chest.
Billy just shrugged. 
Stu came back in with a big smile on his face, jumping onto the bed.
You were sitting up, the blanket dropping into your lap. Revealing your chest, distracting Stu again. You giggled and gently lifted his head again.
"Concentrate Stu."
"Right, sorry. They are just -" He made a motion with his hands towards your boobs.
You rolled your eyes playfully. 
"He is not wrong, you know?"
You giggled.
Stu gave you a little box adorned with a bow.
"You didn't have to get me anything you know that right?"
"Oh we know."
"Yeah but we wanted to. So just enjoy it and say thank you." Billy nudged you. 
You gave them both a kiss. "Thank you."
Smiling softly you opened the box, revealing a delicate bracelet with two charms on it. 
"Get it? The charms represent Billy and me!" Stu was so excited. 
"That is so sweet!" You were  touched. 
"I knew you'd like it!" Stu threw an arm around your shoulder. 
"See? This is me and this is Billy."
He pointed to the little headphones first. It was rare to see him without them and his cd player these days. Then he pointed at the little knife, with a drop of gemstone blood in it. Definitely Billy. He was obsessed with horror stuff.
"It is perfect. Thank you so much."
And you meant it. Billy put it on for you and you looked at it adoringly. You put your arm down and looked at them both happily. 
"Soooooooo…"
"So?"
"I mean I guess I just wanna know what this means for our friendship?"
"Well we should upgrade it."
"To what?"
"A relationship. Duh." Stu said it like it was the most obvious thing.
"You sure?"
"Sweetheart, we've wanted you for ages."
You looked at Billy like he grew a second head.
"You did?!"
"Yeah. You never noticed?"
Shaking your head you looked at the both of them. 
"Guess you are stuck with us now."
Stu grinned from ear to ear.
You rolled your eyes smiling. 
"Like I wasn't before."
"Yeah but now it will be even harder for you to get rid of us."
"Good thing I wanna keep you both."
"Mh. You better." Billy was smiling but there was something else to his tone. You almost wouldn't notice. And you didn't but Stu did, keeps grinning. 
"Of course. I would be lost without you!" You held the back of your hand against your forehead for dramatic effect, giggling. 
Billy groaned playfully. "Damn what have I gotten myself into?"
You and Stu shoved him, laughing until a yawn interrupted you. 
"Alright you two. It's time to get some sleep."
"Yes dad." Stu was rolling his eyes. 
"Damn Stu I didn't know you were into that." You began laughing again.
"Oh you will be surprised about all the things I'm into."
He gave you a mischievous grin. Biting your lip you grinned as well.
"Can't wait to find out."
"Ok stop it you two horny fuckers."
" Pf.  Just you wait until you find out what Billy's into. He actually loves it when he can ca-" Stu couldn't finish the sentence, as Billy hit him across the head.
"Ow!"
"Sleep. Now. We can get into kinks another time." With that Billy was laying down.
"I can't wait. You will be surprised what I'm into." You hummed and got comfy next to Billy, who put an arm around you.
Stu was bouncing next to you.
"Ohhh is it something freaky?"
"Stu…"
"No, now you got me curious!"
"Stu."
"I won't be able to sleep! Give me a hint! Please!" He was basically begging now.
You rolled your eyes. 
"It might involve getting nicked with a knife. Now come here and sleep, I won't say more."
You could feel Billy tensing up a bit, not knowing that this little bit of information riled him up again. Stu's mouth had dropped open. Not believing what he heard. Now he was really intrigued. You could feel he was about to say something else so you stopped him before he could.
"Sleep. Now." 
Stu cuddled close behind you. You were out like a light in seconds.
Stu and Billy looked at you.
"We really hit the jackpot with her."
"Totally!"
Billy was almost asleep when Stu spoke up again.
"You think she would let us carve an S and a B into her? Small ones of course. Maybe on her hip."
Billy groaned at that, now the idea will be stuck with him. But that was a conversation for another time.
5K notes · View notes
neil-gaiman · 5 months
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Hello Neil, my name is Zalean. If you have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you a little story. Not really a question and I’m not sure how to use tumblr but I wanted to say thanks so much for coming to Florida a few months back and talking with Art Spiegelman. It was my first time ever figuring out how to buy tickets for something. I lived in, middle of nowhere, Vermont for most my life and had no idea what I was doing, I had never been to anything before, nothing had made me excited enough to do the 5 hour drive. And then you just appeared 20 minutes away from where I am living now.
See, I was just starting to get to know your books and work because I fell in love with Good Omens so deeply when I discovered it during season twos release. Funny thing is, I knew of you all along without even realizing it, Stardust has been my favorite book and movie since I was a kid because it was my dad’s favorite story. Finding out my two favorite things were actually connected, I started trying to get hands on as many of your books as I could. I hadn’t read in years before finding your books. It was eye opening.
The talk event at the Dr.Phillips Center was sold out by the time I knew about it, someone had asked me if I knew of the event when they saw my Good Omens keychains my mom had made me. I called the box office because there is no harm in asking. I explained how I’m an art student at UCF and desperately wanted to be inspired and learn from you both. The customer service people were amazing and ended up calling me back to get me a seat in the orchestra pit before they were released to the public. I drove alone, I walked there alone, I sat alone, and it was worth it. I was so thankful to get a seat and grateful to my professor who was a bit jealous he didn’t know about it but let me leave class early to go because of course the art professor would be understanding for any learning opportunities in the arts. And it was truly wonderful, it seemed real and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a show. I just wanted to hear, in some sense, that you were like everybody else. I brought a notebook and pen for any information or story’s that I thought made a difference to my little life. The other people around were wonderful, you inspire kind people.
Like I said, I had never been to anything like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know you would have signed books and I only found out because the people next to me came in late. I asked them why they brought the books after it was over and the lights turned on. They did look at me like I had three heads for a moment until they realized I didn’t know there were books to buy, they looked kinda sorry for me but they were so nice. I had never really thought about the importance of someone’s scribble before this but it’s something that proves you were there. It says “Remember when this person made you happy? Remember when they changed your life? Remember when they gave you hope? Look at this and remember.” I hope to see David Tennant and Michael Sheen to get an autograph now that I understand the meaning behind it a bit more but honestly I just love diving into everyone’s projects, the wonder you all create. Oh what fun it is to live a life full of stories!
The people that were sitting next to me let me look at their signed books and hold them. I flipped through some of the big ones, handed them back and expressed my gratitude just to be in the theater. I showed them all my little quotes I wrote down, I never want to forget why I create things and you say so much about never stopping, always creating. Then the women handed me a different book, a smaller book, but when I tried to hand it back, a bit confused, she softly placed it back in my open hands and said “I want you to have it, we have plenty and I want you to love these stories just as much as we do. It’s just starting for you, I want you to remember who started it”. The book she handed me being“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”. The first book I decided to read by you and had just finished a week before. The women had no idea she given me a signed copy of the book that made me want to read again. Your books make the world better. For such a big theater and such a big stage, I just wanted to tell you my little point of view.
The story you told about wishing you enjoyed the past more than you did, I hope you get to enjoy it now, and I hope you want to. And thank you, to you and to Terry Pratchett for creating something special. I convinced my dad to watch Good Omens with me over December break, he loved it.
I forget sometimes that everything is someone's first time, and then I read something like this and feel like I need to remember that better. I'm glad the people beside you were kind.
1K notes · View notes
ahundredtimesover · 5 months
Text
I Want You to Stay (05) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 14.8k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
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A/N: I deeply appreciate all the love and messages (and anticipation for uh, stuff) but again, it's a slow burn! Thank you so much! 🥰
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
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Jungkook sits cross-legged on the couch in his office, his iPad in hand as he goes through the Board report for the nth time these past five days. 
Manager Lee and Chin-sun have put together the logistics, construction, and design departments’ reports with the VP’s and Jungkook is supposed to sign these off for submission to the CEO today, who then approves it for submission to the Board members. They have until Friday to review it in time for the meeting happening that same day. 
This consolidated report was finalized last Wednesday and Jungkook has been reviewing it everyday since then, including his presentation, making minimal comments and then taking notes on things he’s unfamiliar with. Granted, he’s reporting about the quarter when he’s only been Vice President for a month, which makes you incredibly instrumental in his preparations. As the executive assistant, you have the information that Jungkook needs from Hoseok’s time, and so you’ve also been spending everyday since Wednesday answering all of Jungkook’s questions. 
You don’t mind, really, as they’re details you know by heart. It also allows you to show him how involved and meticulous you were under Hoseok’s leadership, and Jungkook’s hums and mumbles of appreciation have helped you gain back the confidence that you lost. 
Even if your self-esteem decreased this past month because of the very person sitting in front of you, the fact that Jungkook’s been showing - in his own ways - his trust in you is enough to lift your spirits. He did admit last week that he needs you - something you hadn’t expected him to say - and you could tell it took so much from him to be able to verbalize it. But you suppose you needed that honesty, too; you needed to know that after all that frustration and anger during the first few weeks, there was that realization on his end that you have his back, and you’re just as capable as what everyone has been saying you are. 
“What information do you need from me, Mr. Jeon?” You finally ask. 
It’s been a good five minutes since Jungkook had asked for you and you’ve just been standing in front of him while he scrolls through the screen, perhaps giving another final look before he finally sends the document to his father.
“Nothing,” he sighs, rolling his head back and closing his eyes. “I just… I just need someone to tell me to stop reviewing this report. I need this out of my sight but I can’t stop checking to make sure everything is okay.”
You look at him intently while he speaks. The tension in his entire face and body is visible, you can even feel it in the room. You feel for him, as he tries to hide the anxiety and desperation. You can tell that he just wants to do well so badly. With the amount of time he’s been spending just going through this, his perfectionist tendency surfaces, and you’re at least thankful that it hasn’t turned him back into an asshole. At least not yet. 
“You need to stop reviewing the report, Mr. Jeon, and let it go,” you say as instructed but with sincerity in your words. “You’ve been on this for days. Manager Lee and Chin-sun have reviewed it, and so have I. CEO Jeon could still suggest changes and we won’t know them until he’s reviewed it, but we at least have the details ironed out. If I may suggest, you can send the file to him in the next hour so you can now focus on practicing for your presentation. That may be a better use of your time.”
Jungkook opens his eyes and turns to you. There’s assurance in your words and your voice and like what he told himself he’d do, he’ll trust you and the team. He’s seen how hard everyone has been working for this - Manager Lee and Chin-sun have done so well in consolidating and cross-checking everything; Do-hyun’s presentation is simple yet effective, and Yohan, who’s back from the hospital, has been adding in all the needed details. And there’s you, making sure that everything and everyone is on track, even as you prepare for Jungkook’s upcoming events. 
“Okay, then,” he exhales deeply. “I’ll send it in the next half hour.”
Knowing he has a meeting set at 2PM, you ask him if you should order him lunch.
“Yes please,” he answers, saying he wants some braised beef from the restaurant on the next block. “Order for yourself as well, and the rest of the team. You can all get anything you want.”
The silence prompts Jungkook to look at you, and he’s met with a questioning gaze.
“Is there a problem?” He asks.
“N—no,” you answer. “I’d like to confirm again that I’ll be ordering lunch for you and all five of us.”
“Yes, Ms. Cho. That’s what I said.”
You remain unmoving as you wait for him to correct himself. This is the first time that Jungkook has offered to treat the team to a meal. Not that you’ve been waiting for it, but Hoseok took you all out to dinner on his first day as a welcome and a thanks in advance, and once you picked up that Jungkook wasn’t the type to engage with his staff much, you just didn’t expect anything. So takeaway lunch from a nice restaurant is definitely surprising. 
“Okay, sir,” you say. “I will do that. I’m sure the team will appreciate it.”
Jungkook merely hums, his eyes focused on the screen now as you bow and head out. 
You go meet the team and as you expected, everyone looks at you in shock. 
“Did the real Mr. Jeon get abducted?” Do-hyun asks. “Because treating us is something he wouldn’t do.”
“Yah! It may be a month late but let’s just be thankful, okay?” You frown at her. “He can see that everyone’s been working hard and I’m sure he appreciates that, and he may not be able to say it but he can at least show us.”
“While he’s at it, he can maybe at least say thank you or you know, smile every once in a while,” Chin-sun sighs. 
“We’ll get there. He knows he needs to do better and he will, I’ll make sure of that,” you assure them, thinking about the conversation from last week. 
Jungkook wants you to help him and for his sake and everyone else’s, you’ll make sure that you do. 
“Well, is he better to you?” Do-hyun asks, her face in a pout because she’s seen you skip meals several times and even cry, and she’d wanted so many times to just hug you, but she knows it’s not something you openly receive. 
“Yes,” you say, knowing it will drive your point. “I’d like to think that the worst is over and I can just focus on doing better and helping him. It would be great if the rest of us could do the same.”
“She’s right,” Manager Lee chimes in. “We grow when we adapt, and much more when we’re able to move on and learn from our experiences. It hasn’t been the best month but it’s also just been a month. So let’s be grateful for the meal and just continue with the good work we’ve been doing, okay?”
You give them the warmest smile you can muster, hoping this would be enough. 
It seems to be, as they all excitedly give their orders, which you and Yohan pick up from the restaurant. You return and after giving Jungkook his food, you head to the other room to eat as well.
The team enjoys the meal, with Do-hyun dramatically stating that it’s the best beef brisket she’s ever had. And you agree; there’s a reason why Jungkook gets this every week. 
Jungkook can hear laughter and satisfied hums from the support team office, with Do-hyun, he supposes, claiming that it feels like Christmas. Yohan says it’s a much-needed post-recovery treat, and even Manager Lee - who’s often serious - cracks a few jokes. Jungkook can pick out your sound, too, noting the joy that emanates from it. He allows himself a small smile, knowing that given how he’s been to everyone this past month, he at least could give his team this highlight of their day. 
He stands by the door, initially going unnoticed, until Chin-sun catches sight of him and alerts everyone that he’s there. The room goes silent, and Jungkook looks on as his staff quietly munch their food and bow to him in greeting. The teasing and laughter have gone; worried eyes are what he sees instead. 
Your initial surprise at seeing him melts away. He rarely drops by for anything, even for a greeting or to just check up on the team, unlike Hoseok who liked to come here often to de-stress after long meetings. But you sense Jungkook’s awkwardness at the silence, with his hands in his pockets and his blank gaze, so you smile at him and hope that eases the tension a bit.
“Lunch was great, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “Thank you.”
“It was,” Manager Lee pipes in. “The roast pork was so delicious. The potato salad was very good, too.”
You look at the others and encourage them to say something as well, and they hum in agreement and say their thanks.
“The beef brisket was heavenly,” Do-hyun raves. “Thank you! I hope it’s not the last time.”
She awkwardly chuckles, realizing that her boss isn’t one she should be joking with, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to take offense, as he purses his lips - perhaps to hide a smile, revealing a tiny dimple that catches you off guard. 
“It won’t be. And uh, it was a month late, so I’m glad you all enjoyed it,” he replies, a tinge of disappointment now painting his face.
There’s another moment of silence and you observe him, hands still in his pockets, looking around awkwardly, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. 
“It’s greatly appreciated, sir,” you assure him once more. “We hope you had a good lunch as well.”
“I’m just about to have it, actually,” he says. “I sent the report to the CEO and he must’ve been waiting for it because he read it right away and called to give feedback.”
“Oh? How did CEO Jeon find it?” Manager Lee asks.
“He said it was good. There are just minor things he asked me to change but I can do them on my own,” Jungkook answers. “I appreciate everyone’s hard work. Now, we can focus on our upcoming events and the Arts Center.”
The team immediately starts packing and swallowing their food, and Jungkook has to stop them. 
“Not right now,” he clarifies. “Continue with your meal. And don’t stay too late. We’ve got another busy week ahead.”
“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” everyone says in unison.
Jungkook nods and starts walking away, leaving all five of you with confused looks, as Jungkook has never spoken to the team in such a calm and friendly manner. It was always firm and professional, low and stoic. 
You scurry out the room and follow him. Jungkook gives you a questioning look when you enter his office shortly after he does, and you pick up his untouched lunch from the table and inform him that you’ll heat it up, knowing he doesn’t like to eat his food cold. 
You go back to the pantry then return to Jungkook’s room, his beef brisket dish now properly placed in a bowl. He gives you a nod, his form of acknowledgment and thanks, you suppose, and you ask the question you’ve had since his earlier stop at the team’s office.
“Are the edits really just minor?” You wonder, knowing that CEO Jeon is meticulous and quite particular with these board reports. 
Jungkook takes a moment to respond. He should know that you’ve done this a few times and are probably used to how his father is already, which means you’d see right through him as well. 
“Well, they’re not major,” Jungkook says. “I mean, they’re not trivial corrections. The details are all good but I need to change some terminologies and framing and some construction of the sections based on the Board’s current concerns, especially about the Arts Center. They’re not that substantial but it’ll still take me an hour or so.”
“Why did you tell the team that they were minor, then?”
“So they won’t offer to help.”
“But they would. I would,” you tell him. “It’s our job.”
“I was going to ask, but it’s your break time. Everyone was enjoying their meals and each other. First time I’ve seen that, actually. I know it doesn’t happen when I’m around.”
“It’s just that you’re not—”
“Hoseok,” he finishes for you.
“Not someone they’re comfortable being themselves around,” you correct him.
“Yes, not like Hoseok,” he pushes.
“You said it the first day, Mr. Jeon. You do things very differently from your cousin. Your personalities are very different, too. We had him for three years and for Yohan and Do-hyun, he was their first boss,” you explain. “They’re just not used to you yet.”
“What about you? Are you used to me by now?”
There’s sudden tension in the room as he looks at you with the desire for honesty, and it’s what you give.
“I’m not quite sure.”
Jungkook doesn’t really know what he expected, as the question just slipped past his mouth before he could pull it back, so he just nods and proceeds to take his late lunch, wanting to forget that he’d asked at all.
You take this as a signal to head out, which you do, before reminding him that he can ask you for help if he needs another pair of eyes before he submits his part again. Jungkook just nods once more, and it’s later in the day, after the third cup of coffee that you take to his room, that he says his father’s already approved the version he sent after you went through it upon his request. You know that’s just half of what he needs to do though, as he’ll still need to present it to the Board this coming Friday. 
“You may go home, Ms. Cho,” he says after he signs some documents for you. 
“How about you, Mr. Jeon?” You ask. 
It’s been a long day, an extension of an even longer weekend because he’d been at a work event and then reviewed the report as well. 
“I’ll probably stay back and go over the presentation. Maybe practice a little.”
You purse your lips, holding something back.
“Should I not?” He wonders.
“Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a proper rest tonight,” you advise. 
“I’ll think about it. It’s gonna be a tough one on Friday and I want to be prepared.”
“I understand,” you smile. “I’ll go ahead, Mr. Jeon.”
Jungkook holds your gaze for a while before he nods and returns to his screen, going through the presentation slides and the notes he scribbled on his iPad. But try as he might, the graphs and the words just go over his head. 
He does need to rest, he thinks. He hasn’t really taken a break all weekend. His hookup from last night was the only relief he got, but that was to expend all the negative energy from the anxiety and stress, and he realizes that he probably doesn’t know what proper rest is, like what you suggested he have. He wonders if you’ve ever had one, or if it’s something you stopped having ever since you started working for him.
Taking your advice, he heads out. It’s only been 30 minutes and he assumes you’re already on the bus and on the way home. He sits in the passenger seat, letting Mr. Ri’s choice of music fill the car as Jungkook’s mind wanders to you - how you laughed at the team’s antics, how you got them to assure him, how you read him well, how you were patient and helpful, and how you seemed concerned about how tired he’s been. 
He’ll chalk it up to you doing your job and helping him as he asked you to do; he always will. He can’t ever think that any of your actions mean more even if deep down, he wishes they do, only so he knows that you don’t hate him, that you’ve forgiven him for things he never apologized for, that you’ll stay for as long as possible. There’s something about your honesty and calm presence that stabilizes him, that makes him take a pause. 
Jungkook’s worked hard on his career for the past decade and it’s all he focuses on; it’s all he thinks about. But when you’re there, he’s forced to stop and think about you. He’s noticed that just this past week - when you’re around, he listens; when you’re close to him, he breathes. Ironic, really, considering that every time you close the distance - when you fix his tie or look at his screen over his shoulder or help him retrieve portfolios - he remains still, his heart stopping and his throat drying up, afraid to take in your scent or to know just how fast his pulse would race or what words he’d say that he won’t be able to contain. 
He’s afraid to know you, only because what he’ll learn might make him want you. And Jungkook knows that he can’t let himself feel that about you in any way.
He sighs as he looks out the window - cars in line to cross the intersection, people walking to their destination. He thinks he’s hallucinating as he sees your smile, but a bus blocks his view and Mr. Ri steps on the gas. 
Outside, you smile to yourself as you wait in line. You were held up at the lobby because Bitna caught you in the elevator and didn’t want to let you go just yet, so you left the office just minutes ago and were waiting at the bus stop when a familiar car showed up and you saw Jungkook looking out the window. He opted to leave early, too; you can only hope he’ll take your advice and rest tonight. 
But the thought that what you said prompted him to take a pause from work stirs something within. Maybe it’s because he’s finally listening to you, or that it seems like he trusts you now. Whatever it is, for as long as it makes your job bearable, you’re all for it. 
It doesn’t take away from the moments you’ve shared where it seems like the world stops for a bit as you hold each other’s gazes for the shortest of seconds. There’s tension where there shouldn’t be, and there’s something different in his eyes when there used to be disdain, one which you can’t read nor identify. It leaves you still for the briefest of moments, unguarded and a little bare, as he seems to tell you something with just a look and you just don’t know what it is. 
As you find a rare seat in the bus, you let the musings go. Jungkook is a man who holds in him a million thoughts a day and those moments with you seem to be his only reprieve; perhaps they’re also just instances of temporary lags or the rare silence and stoppage of everything. In some odd way, it allows you to see him as the human that he is - exhausted, unsure at times, but seemingly yearning for something. 
There’s always an emotion or a thought or a word that he holds in, and you can only wish - as your relationship with him improves - that whatever it is he’s holding back, he’ll find a way to express it. 
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“Do you have any advice for the Board meeting?”
Jungkook slides the question in before Hoseok heads to the elevator and off to an event. They’ve just finished having a check-in with CEO Jeon, who wanted to make sure that the two of them are well-prepared for this Friday, given that presenting during these meetings and contributing to policy and strategy are crucial in their roles as President and Vice President. Jungkook won’t admit that it caused him a bit of anxiety, but he’ll surely take the chance to ask his cousin for tips on how to make sure that he doesn’t screw up.
“I do,” Hoseok answers as he holds off on pressing the button. “Ask your assistant. And then listen to what she says.”
Jungkook visibly sighs. “Hoseok, I mean it.”
“I mean it, too,” the older man replies. “If it’s anything about our strategic plan or policies, just take my lead. And it’s your very first so you’re expected to still be adjusting. If it’s about the presentation, let ___ brief you about it. She’s been with me every single time I had to present. When I was focused on what I had to say, she was focused on how the Board was reacting and how those translated to the questions they eventually asked. She’d know what you’ll need to emphasize on or who you need to be wary of.”
There’s an unsure look in Jungkook’s eyes, and Hoseok knows it isn’t about trusting you. It’s about him.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Hoseok asks. “What are you afraid of, Kook?”
“You know what they think of me,” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want to screw up and give them more reasons to doubt me because they already do. And they’re definitely gonna ask about the Arts Center. What if they bring up my disappointing social skills? I don’t wanna end up feeling inadequate and embarrassing father.”
“Keep thinking that way and you will,” Hoseok huffs. “Look. Our family owns the company. You and I were trained to run it after my sister and your brother decided they didn’t want to. The Board knows this. They’ll either stay in our good graces or plot against us. Your father knows that, too, and that’s why he’s being hard on both of us because he knows what we’ll have to face. That also just means he’ll always be on your side. He’ll always be on ours. The Board could be intimidating but we still hold the power. They’ll impose or question or cast doubt because they want to feel that sense of control. It’ll only affect you if you let them.”
“Okay” is all that Jungkook manages to say, a tinge of resignation on his face as he takes in his cousin’s words.
“You’ve managed worse people than them,” Hoseok assured him. “Just focus, stand by your project, and engage them. Simple as that.”
“Yes, it’s very simple,” Jungkook chuckles with a shake of his head.
“Like I said, your assistant’s there for a reason, Kook. This is when I get to tell you that it’s her job. We would prepare together and debrief right after, and it always helped because she fills in gaps and informs me of things I missed. Trust me. Trust her.”
The thing is, Jungkook does; he doesn’t need to be reminded that he should trust you because he’s learned to do that, despite it seemingly impossible given that you both started off on the wrong foot. It’s the thought of spending more time with you, during a time when he’s still trying to get used to you and how you affect him, that makes him worried about this. But it’s not something he can talk about with Hoseok. It’s not something he can talk about with anyone. 
“Fine,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Good. I’ll go now. Have dinner at home tomorrow, okay? And I’ll see you when I get back.”
Jungkook waves the older man goodbye and then returns to his office, where he finds you dropping some files off for signing. 
“Payment requests for the event,” you explain, earning you a nod from him as he walks to his seat. “How did the meeting with your father go, Mr. Jeon?”
“As I expected,” he huffs. “A bit of encouragement, more of the pressure. He’d slide in reminders of what the Board thinks of me and how I should present myself.”
“Is the pressure helping?” You ask.
“A little,” he sighs, sinking into his chair and exhaling deeply. He rolls his head back and closes his eyes, allowing himself a few seconds of peace. “But I still need help. Hoseok said I can get it from you.”
“You know, he oversells me sometimes,” you manage to laugh, prompting Jungkook to look at you now. “I know I’m competent. But I don’t know about being your source of help for a Board meeting any more than providing you with data.” Jungkook likes to do things on his own after all, you think to yourself.
“But you’ve been to as many Board meetings as he has.”
“Yes, but only for his presentation.”
“And that’s what I need help with,” he says. “I just need direction, I guess. Or affirmation that how I’m doing it is the right way. Or tips on who to woo or who to not take seriously.”
Jungkook has been to a few Board meetings but he’s never had to present anything. He’s also never had to engage with the members so he didn’t pay much attention to them because he didn’t feel the need to. These appointments were all a few years too early, and while he’d had a critical position in the Southeast Asian headquarters, everything had gone through his uncle who headed the office then. 
This is the first time that Jungkook feels the magnitude of all his decisions, and that every move he makes is being assessed. And even with his father and Hoseok giving him guidance, they have their own teams to manage and an entire company to run, just like him. Somehow, with all the people around him, Jungkook still feels alone. 
You, with your perpetual presence and surprising warmth, are the only one who makes him feel otherwise. And it terrifies him more than anything.
“Well, I’ve picked up a few things along the way,” you hum. “I can maybe go through my notes and share them with you.”
“Good. I’d like to do that over lunch, since I’ll have you and Manager Lee watch me practice the presentation around 2.”
Jungkook picks up the slight fall of your face. “Is that a problem?” He asks. “Did you have lunch plans?”
“Nothing more important than assisting you, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a change of expression indicating that you indeed had prior commitments that you’re putting off because of him. “I’ll inform Manager Lee about meeting with him after.”
You head out and return to your desk to work on your remaining tasks for the morning until lunch time rolls by and you accompany Jungkook to a nearby restaurant as he’d asked. You try not to get too excited about the meal in front of you and then control yourself from letting out orgasmic sounds from the succulent piece of salmon that’s melting in your mouth. This check-in seems too important for Jungkook and you want to support him in any way you can.
“How was Hoseok during his first Board meeting?” Jungkook starts. 
“Nervous, a little rattled. His sister left him behind with a lot of work and she was abroad for most of the time so they weren’t able to meet up,” you share. “But he got up there and presented all the office’s gains for the past months and then explained his plans moving forward. He had all these good ideas on policy and strategy and he articulated them well. He had to take over multiple small projects and he showed how he planned to manage all of them. His charms sort of hid away the anxiety he was feeling and I guess that eventually helped him get rid of it.”
“Well, that’s one thing I can’t claim that I have,” Jungkook sighs. 
He looks at you to see your reaction, and the awkwardness on your face makes him internally laugh.
“I can lie to you if you want me to,” you say, and he chuckles, surprising you both, though he acts like he doesn’t mind.
“I’d actually want you to be as honest with me as possible, Ms. Cho. I don’t want you, of all people, to suck up to me to get on my good graces.”
“Great, since I wasn’t on it in the first place,” you trail, earning you another laugh, and you wish this could at least lessen the pressure he’s putting himself under. 
“That’s true,” he says, holding your gaze. He turns to his food before he gets sucked in your gorgeous eyes even more. “But I mean it. I don’t exactly know how to charm people, much less the Board. I don’t want to add to the narrative they already have of me having terrible social skills. But I also don’t want them to think I’m being fake or pretentious.”
“If I may, you’ll botch that aspect if you keep thinking about it,” you advise. “Perhaps you can just focus on what you’re good at. Delivering a presentation, regardless of what it’s about, is a skill. You have all the information and I can add some more if you’re not confident with them. You also tweaked some existing processes and you can build on it. But also, the Arts Center will definitely be their focus, so talk about it the way you would with your father and the team… and me. You let us envision it with your words and your visuals and those are all you need.”
“Okay then. I’ll just imagine they’re all vegetables or something so I can focus.”
“Mrs. Doi likes making eye contact because she wants to feel like you’re conversing with her,” you say. “Mrs. Seo asks a lot of irrelevant questions but you have to answer as if they’re important. Mr. Ong likes being acknowledged every time he says something or even nods. So I don’t recommend acting as if they’re inanimate. Maybe just with Mr. Wang because he falls asleep in everything, but don’t take it personally. I think it’s a medical condition.”
Jungkook’s amused look encourages you to continue.
“Mr. Mun doesn’t really get design and building terms so you’d have to explain them at least twice. Mr. Bong tends to act all mighty but he doesn’t really know much. Same with Mr. Im and Ms. Hwa. The rest are fine,” you say. “Mr. Saito is very thoughtful. He’s a designer so his insights would be good. Ms. Cheng is unproblematic and overall just supportive. Mr. Yeon is just… there. They’re quite intense when it comes to profits and the company’s image but if you stand by what you know, they won’t really say much.”
“Wow, that’s… that’s a lot to take in. And also very informative,” Jungkook states. “I never noticed any of those.”
“Well, you had your reasons to be in those meetings and maybe you didn’t have a reason to pay attention to them,” you shrug. “I do. I thought it was an added way that I could help Mr. Jung. Assistants are asked to sit on the side of the room so we can be easily signaled for anything and I thought I could use that position to observe the Board members and see how they respond to the presentation. It helped for the succeeding ones and it took the pressure off him in terms of needing to appease them.”
“Makes sense,” Jungkook hums. “Worrying about how they’ll react or what they’ll say is half of the pressure.”
“It is. I couldn’t help Mr. Jung for his first time because it was mine, too, but he picked things up quite easily. He knew who to pay attention to.”
“Well, considering that I don’t seem to be ideal for this relationship-heavy position, I’ll have to pay attention and appease all of them, it seems.”
“If I may, Mr. Jeon, you can take it as a challenge,” you advise, feeling more comfortable in being honest now. “I may be just a humble assistant but I’ve seen things. With all the praises for Mr. Jung - which are deserved, of course - I’ve witnessed his moments of distress, which is perfectly normal for anyone. A-yeong had to remind him of how good he was everyday because he needed that push and it helped him. It also helped that he was trying to prove something and that he was always told that he had all the qualities to do that.”
“Not everyone has a supportive wife like him though. Or like my father,” Jungkook laughs dryly.
“They had supportive assistants,” you offer, trying to be optimistic. “I had to fill-in as Mr. Jung’s sounding board and I was always in awe at his approach to things.”
“Which is very different from mine, I know,” Jungkook says unintentionally, the sigh making you feel like he’s tired of the comparison, and you feel a bit bad at having to seemingly remind him of that.
“And which isn’t bad at all,” you try to assure him. “Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s not right.”
Well, it wasn’t right to treat you the way I did, he wants to say, but the words stay in his head and at the tip of his tongue. 
“That’s… comforting,” he says instead.
“I was trying to be assuring but comforting is fine, too,” you chuckle. “But I mean it, sir. I know there are all these expectations and I won’t be able to truly understand what the pressure is like but if you allow it to challenge you, you might even surprise yourself. And then you’ll end up surprising them, too. But do it for you. At the end of the day, they’re just the Board but you’re the Vice President. And you’re you. You’re all you can control.”
There’s a beat of silence as Jungkook takes in everything you’d said. You have this persistence about you that’s reflected in the way you carry yourself and in the way you relate with others, especially towards him despite how he’d treated you not long ago. Regardless of what you said, he thinks you know exactly what he feels when it comes to dealing with pressure. He supposes that working for his family can do that to someone, especially when it’s him. 
“Such moving words, Ms. Cho,” he finally says.  
“I didn’t mean to give unwanted advice,” you shake your head in disappointment. 
“I needed it though,” he surprises you. “Other than Hoseok or even Yoongi, who are both busy themselves, I only have you as a sounding board. And as support. So, uh, thanks.”
He says his gratitude with a soft tone, almost embarrassingly. You can tell it’s something he doesn’t say that often, but you take it, as you think it’s another step towards him trusting you even more. And you need that trust for now; it’s this peaceful and honest dynamic with him that’s making your job bearable.
Lunch continues with Jungkook asking more questions about some of the Board members and you dishing some dirt on some of them as what you’ve heard in the office washrooms, perhaps the only gossip you don’t take with a grain of salt. He’s amused, and you think this is the most expressive you’ve seen him. 
You proceed to meet with Manager Lee in the conference room where Jungkook goes through each slide presentation, asking both of you for more information he thinks he needs and about how he’s carrying himself, his tone, his pace, and his engagement. It’s good enough for a first run-through, Manager Lee says, and Jungkook decides to dry-run it again on Thursday. 
The rest of your day goes by a little stressfully. There are multiple events that you have to organize and coordinate with other offices, and those are what you work on until you clock out on time.
Jungkook stays behind for only half an hour before deciding he’s had enough of looking through his notes and will return to them tomorrow. He takes the elevator and nods when Yoongi enters.
“Hey,” Jungkook greets. “How are the designs for the Changwon mid-rise?”
“It’s 6:00. I don’t wanna talk about work,” Yoongi whines. 
Jungkook knows this. It’s also why he likes to tease his friend about it. 
“Fine. We can just stand next to each other awkwardly until we have to get off,” Jungkook says.
“Hmm,” Yoongi hums. “Or, we can talk about how my lunch plans changed because someone asked my lunch partner for a meeting.”
The tension immediately rises and Jungkook hates how affected he is by Yoongi’s teasing. 
“Ah, so it was you. Well, she did say it wasn’t as important as what we were meeting about,” Jungkook hits back.
“True. It’s about the Board meeting after all. It’s a pretty big deal.”
Jungkook starts to feel hot all over, as the thought of you and Yoongi conversing about your thwarted lunch plans because of him plays in his head. It’s a mix of frustration and disappointment. While the meeting was in no way confidential, he just hates the idea that it was something you shared with Yoongi. Perhaps it’s just after the fact, considering that Jungkook thinks it was a good lunch. You clearly enjoyed the dish - he could see how you tried to control your reactions to it - and your conversations went by smoothly. You were honest and supportive; he was open and all the more surprised with how well you were able to calm him down. It’s as if someone else was privy to that moment you both shared, even if Yoongi wasn’t there. 
“Huh, I thought you were over her,” Jungkook says, the bitterness slicing through. If his friend picks it up, he doesn’t say anything.
“I am. We were just gonna have lunch at this noodle house because she was craving it,” Yoongi clarifies. “I told you, I’m her only friend here. It’s nice to share a meal with someone who cares about you every once in a while, you know? It’s hard being a working adult and we all need a bit of a break and a companion sometimes. It didn’t mean anything more than that.”
Jungkook chooses not to respond and Yoongi could tell why. There’s this look of annoyance painting the younger man’s face, which makes him a lot more transparent than he wishes he was. 
But Yoongi can see right through his friend. It’s not something he raises though, but he won’t be surprised if Jungkook dwells on this. He just hopes it isn’t to your detriment again.
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The ride home wasn’t as terrible last night, and after your elder neighbor gave you some stew because she cooked too much, you had a satisfying dinner and an even more satisfying slumber. 
You feel like the end of the week isn’t too far ahead - although there really isn’t anything exciting for you except for a date with your bed - and you just want to get through all your tasks for the day and get that jjajangmyeon that Yoongi said he’ll get for you today so you can eat it for dinner. You were initially upset at having to pass up on him for yesterday’s lunch, but you’d be the first to admit that sharing that meal with Jungkook was still worthwhile.
Not only was the dish you ordered one of the best things you’ve ever eaten, it was also nice to see Jungkook loosen up a bit after feeling tense all morning because of his presentation. You liked that he’s being open to getting support from you, as it seems that he sees you now as more than just the assistant who’s there to serve him. He seems to appreciate your thoughts and didn’t even act bitterly when you gave him unsolicited advice. You feel even more that your relationship improves daily.
That is, until you enter his penthouse this Wednesday morning with barely a look of acknowledgement from him. Going through your routine, he doesn’t say much; he stays silent the entire ride to the office as well.
When you enter his room to serve his coffee, his furrowed brows have returned and his jaws are clenched as he types away on his desktop.
“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, his voice stern once again. 
You turn around to face him, wondering what has happened since you left the office yesterday.
“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”
“I just wanted to raise that while I understand you have personal relationships with other employees, I do not appreciate you divulging the topics of our meetings with them. Even if they’re my friend as well.”
His last sentence gives away who he’s talking about, and the conversation with Yoongi after you canceled your lunch plans with him rings in your head. 
It was a harmless statement, you want to say; you didn’t share any more than it being a meeting about his presentation. There was no ill-intent in you telling Yoongi why you couldn’t see him for lunch. But you choose to pass up on reasoning with Jungkook. He builds his wall up even more when you do, and you don’t want things to be that way again, not when they seemed to be going okay already these past few days.
So you nod and concede. “I understand, Mr. Jeon, and I apologize. I won’t do it again.”
Jungkook can’t help but just look at you, internally smacking himself as your face falls further and as you, once again, feel far away because of his own stupidity. 
“Is there anything else you need, sir?” 
He shakes his head no, and you bow in response, heading out, with the sadness in your eyes as the last thing he sees. 
Jungkook is unable to focus on his emails and the conference call he takes part in. The words and thoughts are all jumbled when he practices his presentation, as his gaze constantly flits to your spot just outside where you sit, doing your tasks while looking detached and dejected. 
He assumes you didn’t come to work expecting to be called out the way he did with you, which in hindsight, didn’t seem necessary, especially knowing how it’s affecting you right now. Things were going well between both of you after all - he’s being more open and you’re being more comfortable. Information was flowing smoothly, and communication has improved. And he just went ahead and screwed all that up.
Jungkook starts to feel stuffy. He’s been in his office working on things for the Arts Center and practicing most of the day, with you only coming in to bring the lunch he’d asked Mr. Ri to buy and his cups of coffee. You’ve avoided his gaze and haven't said much to him, too. 
He decides to take a walk outside. The outdoor space on this floor has nice benches and a small garden that overlooks the Han River. He’s seen the team eat there sometimes, and while the weather may be a little too hot for it, he’d much rather breathe in the air than his humidifier. 
But as he takes his time to open the door, he hears a familiar voice from outside.
“Fine, if you won’t take the sandwich, at least take the noodles,” Yoongi says. “You’ve been craving that all weekend.”
“Not anymore,” you huff, seemingly annoyed.
“Hey, did I do something wrong?” Yoongi asks, calm and understanding in tone, traits that Jungkook could only hope to have. 
“No… I don’t know,” you sigh. “Just that, whatever I talk to you about or mention, other people don’t need to know them, okay? No matter how harmless they are. Let’s just… not talk about work stuff. Especially in the office. That’s it.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is about.”
“What do you—”
“Mr. Min,” Jungkook calls out, fully opening the door now. “I have design guidelines I need you to go over. I need them by tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, Jungkook,” Yoongi bitterly replies, knowing what’s happened. “Just send them over to me.”
“Ms. Cho will do that right now.”
You nod in acknowledgement of Jungkook’s instruction and remain focused on your desktop. There’s silence in the air and tension that you can’t deal with right now.
“Can I help you with anything else, Mr. Min?” 
“Nah. If I do, I’ll check with your boss first if I can ask you for it. Don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”
You finally look up at him, a tinge of annoyance painting his face, a rarity since Yoongi doesn’t seem to ever be irate about anything. 
“And I’ll just take this jjajangmyeon if you don’t want it,” he adds, taking the container that’s on the ledge of your desk with him, before walking out of your area.
You can’t help the pout that forms on your lips. You really love that noodle house’s version and you’ve been craving it for days. It’s where you and Yoongi were both supposed to have lunch yesterday but Jungkook spoiled it, and it wouldn’t have mattered as much, until it became a reason for him to be upset with you again. You’re not exactly sure why, but much as you want to question your boss this time, you don’t have the energy for it. It doesn’t seem worth it, but it also doesn’t change the fact that Yoongi might have said something to Jungkook, and that’s a dynamic you’re still unsure how to read or deal with. 
Your gaze shifts to the man himself, who looks less annoyed than he did at the start of the day. You don’t know how his practice has been going, since he hasn’t asked you to run it with him, but you suppose he’s doing alright. He’s been in his room all day doing that and taking calls in between. 
Jungkook looks away and heads out. He lets the summer air clear his mind a little before he goes back inside. It’s 6PM by the time he emerges from his room, surprised at seeing your face still buried in piles of papers.
“Ms. Cho, I’ll be heading to Hoseok’s for dinner,” he says, getting your attention. “Anything that needs my signature or approval can wait tomorrow.”
He hopes you’ll read through his words, as he wishes you’d take a rest yourself, like you advise him to do.
“Finance needs your expense reports first thing tomorrow morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a little too stoic than he’s used to. “These can be signed tomorrow when you arrive.”
Jungkook just nods, knowing there’s not much he can do if you don’t want to go home yet. But he does leave you with a reminder.
“Ms. Cho,” he says before leaving. He’s met with curious eyes that he tries not to fall into. “Make sure to eat a proper dinner.”
He walks out too quickly, not wanting to see your reaction.
You’re too tired to react, but that just pushes you to finish all your work and head to the pantry for some biscuits. It’s then that you see the paper bag with a note on it. 
For ___. Do not touch! 
At the back, Yoongi writes, I’m sorry. Here’s a man who knows how to apologize, you think to yourself.
The bowl of jjajangmyeon is inside, as well as a container of gimari. The scent reminds you of how hungry you are, so you heat up the noodles and inhale your dinner as you stand by the table. The empty office and the faint sounds of the air conditioning make you think of how alone you really are - working past your hours on a Wednesday evening, a takeaway meal from a friend you’re pushing away, and a stressful trip back to your empty studio apartment. 
You rarely ever feel lonely. You don’t equate being alone with that specific emotion or state. There’s certainty and clarity you get from being on your own. But on certain days, you let yourself crack a little and be vulnerable. On certain days, you let yourself admit that being alone makes you feel lonely, and that at this precise moment, it’s exactly what you feel. 
You send Yoongi a message of thanks but don’t extend the conversation after he replies. You know it isn’t his fault, and knowing him, he wouldn’t have deliberately said anything that would’ve put you in this position. It could just be Jungkook misconstruing things, but you’ve been caught off guard and you don’t feel like dealing with anyone right now. 
Resuming your work, you do your last review of the expense report and leave it on his desk for his signature in the morning - a struggle considering how messy it is, which is also a rarity, as he always likes to keep things organized. You can tell how stressed he is just by this, and the thought hits you again that it’s the Board meeting in two days, and he needs you to be your best for him; he needs you to be calm and stable for him. 
Whatever you’re feeling can be pushed to the side until next week. You’ll talk to Yoongi after all this is over, you tell yourself; it’s more important that you focus on your tasks and just act as professionally and as unbothered as possible. 
That proves to be easy early the next morning. You go about preparing Jungkook’s day in his penthouse, going over your coordination and organization of the upcoming events and acting as if what happened yesterday doesn’t bother you, with him not acting out of the ordinary, too. It’s easy when you get to the office as well. He signs off on the expense reports and you go to finance with only minimal clarifications needed.
But when you return to your desk and Jungkook calls you to his room, you feel the tension start to build as you find Yoongi seated on the chair, his face turning sullen at the sight of you. 
You nod at him but look away immediately, shifting your gaze towards Jungkook. 
“What can I help you with, Mr. Jeon?”
“Deciding on the pieces to be displayed in the event halls of the Arts Center,” he replies. “Artist Lee Jaemin gave us her portfolio for us to choose from. And I’d like you and Yoongi to work on it together before lunch.”
This prompts you to look at Jungkook in surprise. He just told you off about the things you told Yoongi - which, to your defense, wasn’t even anything substantial - and now he’s making you work with the man.
“What about the run through of your presentation, sir?” You ask.
“I’ll do it with Manager Lee. His feedback will be adequate,” Jungkook replies. “I need your options because I’ll be speaking with her tonight about the chosen pieces.”
“I…, uh,” you stutter. “In what way can I be of help, Mr. Jeon? Wouldn’t Mr. Min be enough to make those decisions?”
“You hold the budget, Ms. Cho,” he reminds you. “We need to make sure we follow it. And you and Mr. Min understand my vision more than anyone and I need both of you to bring that to life with those artworks. I’m packed with meetings today so I don’t have time to sort through all of them. I trust that you’ll make the best decisions.”
“Of course we will, Jungkook,” Yoongi says, a bit of bitterness laced in it. “___ and I work well together. It isn’t the first time.”
Jungkook merely nods, and you feel the tension build up even more as both men share hardened looks that you can’t particularly decipher. 
“I… I’ll go ahead and prepare the conference room. I shall see you there shortly, Mr. Min.”
You exit the office and breathe a sigh of relief from being out of there. You don’t know what their friendship is like, so you’re unsure if the tension is a sign of something serious or if it’s just a normal thing for them. You choose to brush it off for now and prepare for the meeting, walking to the pantry for a cup of tea before you do. 
Back inside, both men remain unmoving, their gazes not faltering away from each other. Yoongi’s look of displeasure is a contrast to Jungkook’s somber, almost guilty face. 
“Driving a wedge between us is kind of an asshole move, you know?” Yoongi finally says. “I don’t know what your deal is but this isn’t how you make it up to her. You don’t get to be nice one day then just decide you’ll be jealous and irrational the next without her even knowing what she did.”
“That’s… that’s not what I was trying to do,” Jungkook reasons. 
“Then what were you trying to do?” Yoongi scoffs. “I was the one she turned down to have lunch with you. Actually, it was her plan, because she’s been spending so much time alone and she just wanted to hang out with a friend. And not only did you hinder that, you also made her feel like she did something wrong when all she said was that you had to talk about the Board meeting. No one would even bat an eye. Now she can’t even talk to me properly without fearing it’ll hurt your fragile ego.”
The truth is a huge slap on Jungkook’s face, and he feels it sting. He’s seen your comfort around his friend a few times. He also knows that Yoongi has been looking out for you when you fail to take care of yourself. And because of that jealousy and his fragile ego, you might just end up pushing Yoongi away, and isolating you is the last thing Jungkook wants to do.
He tries to say something but his throat dries up, knowing that verbalizing anything would prompt him to face feelings he’s trying so hard to suppress. He hopes Yoongi sees right through him, and the sullen look of the older man says he might.
“You’re not a bad person, Jungkook,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know what about her makes you like this. But if all you’ll do is find fault in everything she does, you’re gonna lose all the progress in your relationship. And you've got to know that’s not fair to her. You know she doesn’t deserve that.”
“She doesn’t.”
It’s the way Jungkook says the words that Yoongi knows his friend regrets what he’d done, perhaps not just yesterday but the other times as well. There’s this emptiness in Jungkook’s eyes that Yoongi hasn’t seen before; he doesn’t want the younger man to drown and lose himself in it.
“I’m… I’m, uh—”
“I know,” Yoongi interjects, knowing how hard it is for Jungkook to verbalize what he feels. “And I forgive you. I suggest you find the words and say them to her. Yeah?”
Jungkook merely nods, knowing that would be difficult for him, not because he won’t mean it but because they mean so much more. With you, it always does. 
“I’ll head to meet with her now.”
“Please fix it,” Jungkook almost pleads. “I think she needs you.”
Yoongi gives a look of understanding then heads out to the conference room where he finds you seated already. The lights are dim, allowing him to see Lee Jaemin’s art pieces projected on the wall. You’re focused on your laptop screen, not budging even as he opens the door and sits next to you.
“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks, urging you to look at him.
“No,” you say softly.
“Then why do you act like you still are?” He asks sullenly. “You know I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault though,” you reply, finally turning to him, your own soft eyes mirroring his. “You shouldn’t be apologizing.”
“But I want to. Because I know it matters that you hear the words even if they’re not from the person who needs to be saying them.”
“You know he doesn’t do that,” you sigh, knowing exactly who he means.
“He’ll have to learn how to. Or just stop having a reason to apologize in the first place.” 
“We’ll see about that,” you shrug. “But I’m sorry, too. I just didn’t know how to act yesterday and earlier. I just didn’t want any more drama.”
“I know, and it’s okay. It’s not your fault either. I had to call him out for it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I called him an asshole.”
“You–what?”
“Well, sort of. He had to hear it, and it seemed like he knew it, too. That's why he wanted me to fix things. Not that anything was broken, as far as I know.”
“Is that why he made me meet with you?”
“Yes, about something that he and I could easily do over coffee or a meal,” Yoongi chuckles. “But like I told you before - he tries. It’s usually just a misstep or something more complicated than actually saying sorry.”
“It’s hard for him to say, I guess. Maybe he just has his own ways of saying them.”
“It’s still not an excuse to be an asshole though.”
“At least you’re there to call him out for it,” you chuckle.
Yoongi laughs along, knowing it’s a role in Jungkook’s life that he wouldn’t mind taking. And just like that, the tension between the two of you is gone. He throws in a few jokes in there that take seconds for you to process, and it’s his crinkled smile that makes you smile and feel comfortable as well. It’s the icebreaker you need before getting to work, and it takes you both until lunchtime to decide on which of Lee Jaemin’s pieces you think would fit well in the event halls that Jungkook wants to put them in. 
It’s a different experience for you, as you’ve never made decisions like this before. You wouldn’t say you’re artistic in any sense, but Yoongi’s approval of your choices and agreement with your reasoning make you feel that you aren’t as design-blind as you think. And while Jungkook has the final say - you’re not even sure if your choices would make the final cut - it’s still satisfying to see the empty spaces come to life on your screen with artworks that you chose with Yoongi, while still being within budget.  
You both walk back to your work area where you see Manager Lee, and he tells you that Jungkook seems ready for tomorrow’s Board meeting. You enter his office with Yoongi, presenting what you’ve come up with - the greens and pinks common in her pieces give the room so much life, and the imperfections of her subjects leave viewers with much to admire. From the tropics to intimacy, the bright yet muted palette of the images elicits both joy and loneliness.
Jungkook goes through them while you and Yoongi look on.
“I’ll check each piece again later,” Jungkook says. “But these look good; I’d choose these myself.”
“___ chose most of them,” Yoongi says, earning him a glare from you.
“Is that so, Ms. Cho?” Jungkook asks.
“Mr. Min helped. And those pieces just spoke to me, I guess,” you answer shyly. “They’re beautiful pieces, Mr. Jeon. But I don’t have any arts or design background so please feel free to change them.”
“We’ll see,” he says, looking at you with a kind of affirmation that you’re not used to. 
You nod in response and check the time. He’s got another meeting in an hour and he should be having lunch soon.
“What would you like to eat, Mr. Jeon? I can get it for you,” you say.
“No need. I asked Mr. Ri to get me something. I figured you might have lunch plans,” Jungkook responds, glancing at you and then Yoongi. 
You look at the man next to you, who motions towards the door and you get what he means immediately. 
“Okay, Mr. Jeon. I’ll go take my break now.”
You walk out with Yoongi who asks you what you’re craving, and sweet and sour pork comes to mind. He chuckles at your excited face, and you grab your purse and head out, turning back once to catch Jungkook watching you walk away.
Maybe this is his apology. In whatever form it is, you’ll take it. You find sometimes that the silence in place of words means a lot more, in ways that feel more. 
The rest of your afternoon again feels like a blur, as you meet with the support team about the upcoming events and make sure everyone is on the same page. You spend an hour on the phone with Lucas about some Singapore and Malaysia-based Korean artists who are flying for the project launch in a few weeks while Jungkook goes from one virtual meeting to another. 
It’s 5:30 before you know it, and you’re working on your spreadsheets when Jungkook walks out of his office, saying that he’s meeting with Lee Jaemin later in the evening and that he’ll just update you about the final pieces. 
You acknowledge him and wish him goodbye, but he stops on the way, at the entrance towards the hallway, making sure he remains present while unable to see you.
“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, surprising you.
“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”
“About what I said yesterday, I apologize,” he says, almost stuttering. “Especially if it caused a rift between you and Yoongi. I didn’t intend that.”
You’re too shocked to say anything, much more process the words that you can’t believe he’s saying. But he really is apologizing; he really is trying.
“It… it’s okay, Mr. Jeon. I understand.”
There’s a beat of silence, and you’re left to observe him from this angle - jaws clenched, head bowed down. 
He deeply exhales. “I’ll go now. No need to stay late; you can go home when you’re able.”
“Okay, sir. Have a good night.”
He finally leaves, and the silence engulfs you. Sometimes, words in any form truly matter. You could only hope that Jungkook knows that.
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The suit that you choose for Jungkook for today’s big day is a dark gray textured piece. He looks immaculate as he stands before you, and you try your best to even your breathing as you fix his tie like you do every morning. There’s something about him today that makes him more handsome than usual - a quality that you’ve found yourself admitting and accepting more easily as the days go by. He exudes a certain kind of confidence and power with his attire and his parted hair. There’s determination in his eyes as he stands tall, ready to face the day. 
And you’re there, admiring the way he carries himself just inches away.
You fix the collar of his suit and make sure that all creases are flattened. You meet his eyes and the confidence melts away a little.
“Do I look respectable enough?” He asks, a little less serious than you expected. It’s when you see the nervousness in his eyes that you know how important today is for him.
“Yes,” you assure him. “You also look ready to impress the Board members with your presentation and get them on your side. I’m sure your vision about the Arts Center will make them believers.”
“Ah, well, that’s asking for too much, I guess,” he laughs dryly. “But I was on the call with Lee Jaemin last night and she was so excited for the launch. It would get her to visit Seoul often, she said, and that made me realize that artists like her and the consumers, the ordinary people, the ones who the Center is for - they’re the ones who matter. It’s their interest and appreciation that I value, not the Board’s.”
“That’s a good realization to come to, then, Mr. Jeon,” you smile, suddenly feeling like you’re seeing a different man - someone who cares about meaning and the power of art. “I suppose if that’s your mindset coming into the meeting, then you’ll definitely do well.”
“I think if there’s at least one other person who ends up believing in the value of the Center, that would be enough for me,” he says, holding your gaze for a while before turning away. “But uh, today is more than that. You and I both know they’re there to assess my capabilities - social and otherwise - and definitely point out what I lack, or probably tell me I’m not cut out for this job or that I’m terrible or something. I mean, you would know, right?”
His eyes, focused downward, slowly shift to you. You know what he means, and given that he isn’t the type to admit to things, this is probably the only other time that he comes close to acknowledging how he was to you.
“Mr. Jeon, if you’re indeed terrible, I would have quit after a week. Or… well, after the second day,” you admit. 
“Why didn’t you?”
“Well, I couldn’t afford to,” you chuckle to ease the tension. “But also I… I saw the change. And that’s always a good thing. Lacking something is normal. We all have things we need to work on but that doesn’t make us terrible people. That just means we need a bit of understanding from others. And that also means we just have to keep trying to be better.”
There’s a sullenness in Jungkook’s eyes but there’s acceptance and understanding, too. Perhaps it’s the most sincere you’ve seen him look, and of all the days that he needs assurance about how he’s been, today is when he needs it the most. Sure, there are still things about him that you wish he’d work on. He’s still not the best person in the world. He could still be a bit impulsive with you and can sometimes be irrational in your eyes and definitely needs work on dealing with his emotions. But he’s trying. That always counts for something.
“We do,” he nods.
“Your father believes in you. Hoseok believes in you, so does Yoongi.” Holding his gaze, you add, “so do I. So trust in yourself. If you can’t do it for you, you can do it for us.”
“Is giving pep talks part of the job description?” 
“It should,” you giggle. “But I’ve given several of them to Mr. Jung. I’ve learned that during stressful moments or just when we’re a little overwhelmed, it makes a difference to hear the things we already know from someone else.”
“I’m a little stubborn, but I hope you continue doing that for me. For as long as you think I deserve it.”
Jungkook doesn’t know where the honesty and vulnerability are coming from. But he’s found that with you, it’s natural - difficult because they’re things he rarely is around other people, but natural. He doesn’t want to question it anymore for fear of learning what else is instinctive for him when it comes to you. But with the way his insides melt with how you sweetly and assuringly smile at him, he realizes that his defenses against you are not that strong to begin with.   
“Well, we don’t have time to pass by a cafe for a nice breakfast so I asked Mr. Ri to get some instead,” you announce, changing the subject now. 
You walk towards the dining room where he follows, and you present a spread of pastries, walnut tarts, and sausage rolls alongside a large cup of coffee. 
“I don’t really eat before a big meeting,” he says, frowning a little. “I’m sure Lucas told you that.”
“He did, but I’m a little stubborn, too,” you counter. “Breakfast is important before a big meeting, Mr. Jeon. It’ll help you focus, even if that’s just one tart or half a danish or a quarter of a roll. Eating will improve your energy levels and lift your mood. It might help ease your nerves somehow.”
“Fine, but I’ll just have half a roll.”
“No worries. You can always eat some more throughout the day,” you say.
Jungkook ends up finishing the entire roll and a walnut tart, while you finish a danish and settle for tea. You pack up what’s left, and he instructs you to give the rest to the team. 
The car ride is quiet, save for the gentle sound of his pencil gliding through the pages of his leather notebook. He seems to be channeling his energy in a way that allows him to be calm, you think, and that’s a good thing. 
You arrive at the building and Jungkook goes straight to his office while you excuse yourself to go to the conference room to help the other assistants prepare it. You don’t see Jungkook until an hour later when he enters, and you lead him to his seat then serve his coffee afterwards. It gets busy quickly as the Board members arrive, and you help in ushering them to their seats and catering to their needs. Before you know it, the assistants are heading out, leaving them and the executives to discuss confidential matters that none of you are required to know.
It’s another two hours before the presentations start, but Jungkook won’t go until after lunch. So you settle in your desk and work on various things, unable to fully focus because your mind constantly goes to him. 
This is normal, you convince yourself; you had the same nervous energy for Hoseok the first time he did this. But then again, it was your first time, too. Perhaps it’s knowing how much it means to Jungkook and his own worries that makes you feel uneasy.
You understand the feeling of wanting to prove oneself, and not always being able to fully express that desire to others. He’s been honest with you recently, and sometimes it can feel quite isolating when no one is there to share the burden, which is why you’ve been trying to cheer him up and encourage him, in hopes that he’ll feel supported, that whatever happens today, he knows he has you on his side.
You proceed to the function hall for the catered lunch where you meet Jungkook. He shares the table with Hoseok and Bitna, as well as Ji-woo and her assistant, and you engage in conversation with them like old times. 
Jungkook watches you speak to his cousins casually but respectfully, and he doesn’t miss the inside jokes and personal details that you all share. You still look a little reserved, but there’s this comfort in the way you express yourself around people who trust and care for and respect you. 
He’s always known Hoseok and Ji-woo to be great with the employees, and a part of Jungkook envies that they’re able to just share parts of themselves with others, that they’re able to expend their time and energy being around them, something that’s always been difficult for him. He likes his privacy, likes his own space; he revels in the silence to battle the noise in his head. He’s protective of his thoughts and his feelings; he’s particular with who uses his time and energy on; he keeps his distance because it’s always easier - to not be involved, to not be invested, to not be known at all rather than be judged because of what people know. 
He also thinks it’s quite isolating. Outside of his family - whom he keeps his distance from as well - the only person who knows him enough is Lucas, but it’s as shallow as just knowing his preferences and his technical opinion on things, not his dreams or fears or everyday thoughts and emotions. 
Jungkook isn’t someone that people go to for advice or for encouraging words; he’s not someone that people ask about how he’s doing; he’s not a person that others seek for comfort or warmth. He’s just a man who does his work, that people serve, that people want approval from for their own gains. He’s not someone they’d go through lengths for. He just takes up space that others orbit around but he’s not the center of their world; he isn’t anybody’s.
“Is everything okay, Mr. Jeon?” You disrupt his thoughts. “Is there anything you want?”
“Chocolate milk,” he says too quickly. “Uh, only if there is.”
“Hot?”
“Yes.”
You call the server and ask if they have any, but the man says they don’t, so you decide to head to one of the stalls at the food hall downstairs.
“You don’t have to,” Jungkook says, pulling your wrist in reflex as you stand up.
You’re caught off guard and so is he, and he immediately lets go and apologizes for it. The guilt in his eyes is similar to the one you saw at the restaurant when you’d admitted that he made you feel uncomfortable, and something about it makes you feel moved. 
“I mean, uh, it’s okay. It’s not urgent,” he adds, looking away.
“If it’ll help, then I should get it for you, Mr. Jeon,” you insist. “It won’t take long. I’ll be back before lunch ends.”
You don’t wait for a response and head out, leaving Jungkook with curious looks from his cousins.
“So, I see you’ve warmed up to her already,” Ji-woo hums, smiling. 
“You could say that,” Jungkook shrugs, acting nonchalant.
“Well, it’s about time you did,” Ji-woo shakes her head. “She works incredibly hard and she’s very reliable.” At the younger man’s nod in agreement, she adds, “you just had to give her a chance. There’s a reason why uncle and Hoseok wanted her around for you.”
“I guess,” Jungkook hums. “She’s… she’s a good person. I don’t really know if I deserve that but she is to me. She’s required to be, I suppose.”
“Or she sees you as a human being who needs a bit of warmth and joy in his life,” Ji-woo suggests. “Kindness goes a long way, you know? She’s said before that there are people who have extended it to her and maybe she’s just doing that, too.”
“Or maybe she sees something in you,” Hoseok says now. 
“Like what?” Jungkook scoffs, knowing himself that after he’s treated you, there’s no way you’d see something in him, whatever that is.
“Like an emptiness, or yearning. Something she feels, too,” Hoseok responds. “Maybe she’s unknowingly making you feel something that she wants to feel herself, you know? I had A-yeong, my sister, my parents, my friends... Seeing her now with you, she didn’t pay attention to my every need the way she’s doing now, and that’s not a criticism of her. Perhaps she just knew that I had other people to do that.”
“And I’m the lonely, single, friendless man that she’s stuck with,” Jungkook laughs dryly, although he’s not offended. Deep down, he knows it’s true.
“Sort of,” Hoseok chuckles. “But what I really mean is that she knows what it’s like to not have someone to look after her like that. You may think it’s just her job but I think it’s her not wanting you to feel like there’s no one there for you. Maybe if you see it that way, you wouldn’t think you don’t deserve it. Then you can accept it and maybe you can do the same.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jungkook counters, given that keeping his distance is exactly what he plans to do because any closer would just lead him down a path that he won’t be able to escape from.
“It’s not that deep,” Ji-woo says. “I think what my brother is saying is that it’s okay to be friends, you know? Or just allow her to be nice to you and then return the favor. It’s a much better dynamic. I mean, I’m sure he’s told you but things are just gonna be more challenging down the road, once you’re past the adjusting phase. You’ll need her like you’ve never needed anyone before. I do mean that professionally, but that also requires a kind of relationship where you know and trust and respect each other. It goes both ways.”
Jungkook takes in his cousins’ words, knowing that they speak from experience, and they’ve been doing this longer than he has. He already knows he needs you. That itself terrifies him. He also knows he has to rely on you, and maybe that entails allowing you to care for him in ways that no one - not since Chaerin, at least - has ever done before. That means letting you come close, allowing you to know him, letting you be there for him. Doing the same for you isn’t a question of whether he wants to or not - he’ll probably be denying it to his grave, but it’s about whether he can remain within the boundaries he set for himself, knowing already how you affect him without even doing much. 
The thought gives Jungkook a headache, but it’s not something he can give attention to right now. He’s got a presentation to do in less than an hour. He’ll be scrutinized and questioned and probably judged and then he realizes it again - he needs you through all that. He already knows you’ll be encouraging and supportive; you’ve shown that in the past week especially, and he’s appreciated and hated every single moment of it.
The hurried footsteps signal that you’re back, and you take your seat next to him.
You’re panting as you place the cup on the table. “Here you go, Mr. Jeon. I’m not sure if it’s as milky as you want it but the really good cafe downstairs said it should be good. Oh and uh, wrap your hands around it,” you instruct, earning you a curious look. “Your hands are very cold.”
Jungkook does as you say, feeling the warmth of the drink through his skin, even more when he takes a sip and finds that it tastes just as he wanted. 
“This is good. Thank you,” he utters, not wanting to meet your eyes.
You exhale a sigh of relief. You know how he has particular tastes and you just went with a hot chocolate even if he specifically said he wanted chocolate milk. There’s a brand he likes from Lucas’ list and you didn’t have time to actually get it or even store the office pantry with it - which you realize now you should do, and you make a mental note of doing an inventory so you could request for more of the things he likes later on.
“You’re welcome,” you reply. “I… I hope it helps for the presentation. Or the nerves. Or just in general.”
“It has,” he confirms, humming with every sip.
Not long after, everyone is instructed to head back to the conference room so the meeting can resume. You take your seat with the other assistants at the side after you’ve ensured that the presentation is ready while Jungkook heads to the front. You watch him go through his notes a final time, and when he sets them aside and looks up, his eyes find yours.
They’re still tainted with worry, you can tell even from several feet away. So you give him a comforting smile, knowing it’s what he needs. You gently nod and give him a double thumbs up as if to say that he can do it, and he nods back, as if to say that he’ll do his best.
And that’s exactly what he does.
The presentation goes for a quarter of an hour, and while he does give a good rundown of the achievements of the past three months, it’s his pitch of the Arts Center that really makes him shine. The visuals are good to begin with. He did those blueprints himself and the designs give life to his vision, but he explains every aspect of the project with just enough detail to enable the audience to imagine how it looks and what it makes them feel. He took into consideration earlier worries about profits and brand reputation, as well as anticipated questions and points of attack, so he goes ahead and addresses them to the point that he can’t be scrutinized for anything that’s lacking. He keeps in mind the qualities of each Board member, so he makes eye contact if he needs to and acknowledges side comments and builds on them. 
He’s definitely added more - and improved - since that first runthrough you did with him, and he looks very confident and very respectable. You can tell that he values not just profits but art itself - its creation, its appreciation, and the various ways it can be experienced. As someone who yearns for that kind of passion for something, seeing him like this is quite moving. 
It doesn’t help that he looks as good as he does standing up there, and it’s a thought you let yourself have before dispelling it quickly. 
He gets approving nods from most of the Board members. The rest still look a bit doubtful, but you suppose they wouldn’t directly criticize Jungkook and his plans in front of everyone after a presentation like that. You also take a peak at CEO Jeon who’s unable to hide how proud he is of his son. Hoseok and Ji-woo exchange smiles as well. But Jungkook remains focused, ready to answer any questions or comments from the Board.
Mr. Mun is the first to commend him and doesn’t ask much. Mr. Im surprisingly praises Jungkook after admitting his reservations, and Mr. Saito, as you expected, asks clarificatory questions that just builds on what was earlier presented. Jungkook’s readiness and creativity are highlighted as well, and you can tell that the older man is extremely excited for this project. 
The hour is up before you know it, with only minimal questions and a few comments from the attendees. Ji-woo and Hoseok raise points to help with marketing and earning profit, and you take note of all those for discussion and debriefing next week. 
Jungkook thanks everyone before returning to his seat, and you see the breath he lets out after, seemingly glad that that’s at least over. You catch his attention again, and you can’t help your smile. He acknowledges you with a nod, and he turns his focus towards Hoseok as the next presenter. The afternoon goes by like this, with Ji-woo going last and CEO Jeon closing out the meeting. 
There’s some time before the fellowship dinner, which is spent with side conversations and check-ins. Mr. Saito goes to Jungkook right away and you see the latter’s face light up a little, although you don’t miss the sniffing and the throat clearing that he does. You think that his cold hands earlier weren’t due to his nervousness; perhaps the last month has finally caught up to him because you truly believe that this man does not rest. 
You head out to return to your desk, knowing you’ve got several things to do before the dinner that assistants are invited to. You fly through your notes from earlier and some administrative tasks before heading back to the event hall where you find Jungkook talking to Mrs. Seo and Mr. Ong this time, two people who’d most likely be critical of him so you’re glad that he’s at least forging some relations, if their animated way of speaking is any indication. 
You see him excuse himself to head to the washroom, and you take this time to order a cup of ginseng tea for him. It arrives just as he returns to his seat, and when it registers why you’d ordered it, he nods and mumbles his thanks.
“If I may, perhaps you shouldn’t stay long, Mr. Jeon,” you suggest. “It’s been a tiring week and you need to rest.”
Jungkook hates being told what to do, but he’s also never had someone tell him to rest because he needs it, much less even know that he’s not feeling alright. 
“I need to engage with the Board,” he reasons. “I’m sure that’s what father would like. I can rest during the weekend.”
“Okay, sir,” you sigh, knowing he’s also right. Perhaps he’s accepted that this is a critical part of his new role as Vice President. “Just let me know if there’s anything more that I can help you with.”
“I will.”
You sit at the table where the other assistants are, engaging in hushed conversations as you talk about the Board members and how tired you all are. It’s nice being around them, as you all share the experience of stress and isolation, of knowing too much sometimes, of security and stagnancy. They know what you’re going through, partially at least - unlike you, they have people to go home to and proper hobbies that excite them. They have loved ones close by and things they look forward to during the weekends. So while they do make you feel understood, you also can’t help but be a bit jealous. 
Your thoughts are suspended when Bitna offers to take you home. It’s well past 9 and you’re not keen on staying longer to drink with the rest of the big bosses here. You glance at Jungkook who has a wine in hand, clearly trying his best to keep up with the conversations he’s a part of. He looks incredibly tired - much more than usual - and you feel bad that this isn’t something you can help him with. 
You take Bitna’s offer and you both head to your respective bosses to bid your goodbyes. Jungkook nods and mentions his meeting with the artist last night that he says he’ll discuss with you on Monday. There’s more you want to say, but you worry he’ll think you’re nagging about his health - which, you remind yourself, is also part of your job - and you don’t want to end the week on a sour note. 
Jungkook watches you leave the event hall and he immediately feels your absence. Even when you spent much of your time apart, he could feel you there, partly because of the ginseng tea that you ordered for him twice at your insistence and partly because the knowledge that you’re around is enough. And now you aren’t, and he suddenly can’t stand any more of the socializing he has to do. 
But he powers through it for another hour. When he bids his father goodbye, the older man commends him for his presentation earlier and the way he handled himself throughout the fellowship dinner. It’s assuring, but he knows there’s so much more work to be done so he doesn’t revel in it any longer than a few seconds. 
The drive home is quiet. His soft groans as he massages his temples are the only sounds in the car. When he arrives at his empty penthouse, he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the counter and sits on the couch - a glass in hand, necktie and buttons undone, feet on the coffee table, and head rolled back as he reminds himself that he survived the day, that he did a good job, and that he changed some of the Board members’ minds about him. 
And much as he tries to keep away the image of you, he’s unable to - there you were in the room, on his side, cheering him on. He didn’t miss the satisfied smile on your face once he finished his presentation, nor your look of worry after the ginseng tea was placed on the table. 
You’re just good at that - making him feel like someone looks out for him, that someone else minds that he succeeds, that someone cares that he’s not well and that he should rest. 
The smile on his face fades once he’s reminded that you’re supposed to do all that, and that he isn’t anyone special, nor should he be. It’s the thought that keeps him behind the lines - you’re unattainable in so many ways, yet he’s also glad that you are. It’s easier to be mindful of his place like that; it’s easier to accept that you’re you and he’s him, and it’s easier to do his job when he knows you’re just doing yours.
At least, that’s what he hopes. 
But when he gets a call from reception the next morning about a package that you dropped off, all that wishful thinking seems pointless. And as he stares at the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of him, all his thoughts from the night before come crashing down.
Why is everything so hard when it comes to you?
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dammn-dean · 6 months
Text
Unexpected Pt. 2
Pairing: Simon Riley x Female Reader
Words: 2700+
Warnings: Pregnancy, vague birth talk, mild panic attack, if I missed anything sorry
(Honestly I have given birth in a hospital, but it was complicated so I didn't get to experience a normal after birth situation. So if this is incorrect, sorry!)
Here is part two🖤 Hope you all enjoy it! It's a bit short, and sweet. I do plan on doing some blurbs/continue eventually. Thank you all for reading!
Part One
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Beautiful art/rendering from @ave661
The next few moments are a blur to you both, for different reasons. Simon parks the car in front of the emergency entry, barely allowing for the car to come to a complete stop before he’s out of the car. You barely register as he slides on a black surgical mask when he comes around the car to open your door. Next thing you know he’s leading you inside, talking to a woman at the front desk and getting you into a wheelchair. You are filling out some paperwork as you are wheeled through the hospital, in between contractions that are consistently spaced apart now. 
Simon keeps murmuring small words of encouragement to you, but he’s scared shitless. Pretending to be brave in this moment for you, yet he feels anything but brave. 
There are a lot of questions that you give answers to as best you can. Simon can barely keep up… there is so much moving around and plans being spoken between nurses. The next thing he knows you are in a hospital bed, donning a gown, being told your doctor should be here within 5 to 10 minutes. 
“I’m going to check your dilation now, okay?” A young and sweet woman that is apparently your nurse for now speaks up. 
You just nod your head, watching as she gets the stirrups ready for your feet to go in. Once ready she guides your feet to the correct sport before reaching for a pair of gloves. 
You glance up to Simon, who is as quiet and still as a ghost. Standing to the left of your bed, fists clenched so tight you wonder if his fingers are going to lose feeling soon. 
“Si?” You question. 
That breaks his stone resolve. It was like a switch flipped in him, as he forced his mind to catch up with what was happening. 
He finally tore his eyes away from the nurse as her hand began to disappear under your gown. When his eyes fell to you and your outstretched hand he immediately grabbed your smaller hand into both of his large ones. Kissing the back of your hand through the material of the mask. 
“You ‘kay love?” Simon was gentle, from his touch to his tone. 
“Yes… just a little uncomfortable,” you said just above a whisper. 
“I bet so sweetheart.” He brought a hand to brush some hair back from your face. “You are doing great,” he encourages you. 
“Looks like you are about 5 centimeters dilated! Great news mom and dad.” The nurse tore off her gloves and put them in the trash before typing away on the computer in the room to update your chart. 
Simon felt all of the air rush out of his lungs. Dad?? How did he not think before that he was about to be a dad. Sure… he understood what was happening, but there was something about hearing this nurse call him dad that struck a chord with him. His ears filled with static and he stiffened all over again. 
You watched as his pupils shrunk, he pulled his hands from you and stood straight as a board beside you. 
“Simon?” You softly called to him. Nothing. 
His eyes were trained on the wall behind the nurse who was innocently typing away on the computer. 
You called for him two more times, watching his chest speed up with more and more rapid breaths. You said his name one more time quite loudly, which got the nurses attention. She looked up at him, staring past her and noticed the signs of a panic attack blooming in him. 
Simon wasn’t in the room with you now, his mind lost on his past. 
“Sir?” The nurse gently started working her way to him. 
Before she could fully make it to him, a contraction started up for you again. You wailed out in pain, and as quick as Simon zoned out and started panicking he stopped. Hearing your pain pulled him from his dark mind. 
“Sorry,” he muttered, truly embarrassed. 
“It’s okay sir,” the nurse spoke softly. “Would you like to sit down for a moment?”
“I’m fine, just make sure she’s okay.” He left no room for argument. 
Resuming his spot at your side, ignoring whatever that was just happening to him. He gently kissed your hairline through the mask again while speaking to you sweetly until the pain subsided. Once your breath had started evening out your tired eyes fell onto Simon. The nurse nodded at him before finishing typing what she needed and mentioned the next steps that would be happening before excusing herself from your room for a moment. Her words went in one of your ears and out the other for you.
“You okay?” You asked, squeezing his hand this time to comfort him.
“Don’t you worry about me, love,” Simon said apologetically. 
You gave him a nod, but internally you were freaking out about his reaction. Your mind rolled back a few moments before he started panicking, trying to figure out what happened. 
Simon has had a few moments in your time together where certain things trigger him, which is beyond understandable. The memory of the nurse calling you mom and dad moments before finally registering with you. That small thought had your heart instantly feel heavy, and not in the best way. 
You felt your eyes get glossy, this same feeling of shame bursting through your chest. Your mind reminding you how unfair this all is to him, he never got the choice about IF he wanted to be a father… hell you didn’t even give him a notice that he was going to be a dad. Your brain was all muddled, but the only thing standing out to you is that you can’t remember why you never told him. It all seemed so silly now, who cares if you had an argument. Who cares that he was working. It was your responsibility to tell him that you were pregnant, to let him know that he was going to be a dad, and especially to give him the option to be involved or not. 
You gently removed your hand from his, allowing it to fall into your lap with your other hand. Eyes falling to your lap, unable to stop the tears from falling and trying your best to shield them from Simon. Even though you knew he would notice, how could he not?
“Are you hurting? Want me to call for the nurse?” Simon got the words out quickly, reaching for the button to call the nurse.
“No.. I’m okay,” you whispered with a shrug.
His brows frown down at you, clearly you aren’t okay. Your small sniffles provide proof of that. Simon’s spine straightened, eyes taking you in as his mind moved a mile a minute trying to come up with a solution. 
“Do you remember at the apartment, the promise you made me?” Simon asked softly.
You sniffled out a small “Yeah..”
“That if you have something you need to tell me, you will do it. Yeah?” 
You nod your head softly before meeting his eyes briefly.
“What is it baby?” He asked, hand reaching into your lap and interlocking your fingers together.
“I’m just so sorry,” you respond quietly. “And I know you told me to stop saying sorry but I truly am.”
“Love,” Simon began, but you cut him off. “I didn’t give you the opportunity to come to terms with all of this. I just sprung it all on you, and-”
Simon knelt beside you, making him eye level with you. 
“Do I wish I would have known before? Sure love… but mainly because I hate you have done all of this alone. It eats me alive. I am supposed to be the one taking care of you, but I was selfish. Never made sure you knew what you were to me. I will never let that happen again, okay?”
“Then what just happened to you?” You whisper. His hazel eyes squint a little, but they never leave yours. 
Simon was silent for a while which heightened your anxiety. That’s when the beginnings of another contraction started. Your hand squeezing Simon as you rode through the pain. You barely register his voice, soft and sweet, talking you through the pain.
“Don’t you worry about that sweetheart, but after this. And we have our baby… I will be sure to explain everything to you okay? All you need to know is I am here, and I can’t wait to be a father to our child.” Simon knew he owed an explanation, but now wasn’t the time.
Simon tugged his mask down enough so he could press a kiss to your hairline while using his free hand to wipe away the last few tears from your wet cheeks.
“Good evening,” your doctor enters the room and announces himself. 
Simon gently clears his throat as he straightens the mask on his face before standing up to take his proper place beside you.
You didn’t feel 100% better, but knowing he would explain more. You fixed your mental state as much as you could, you knew this way was about to be the toughest thing you have been through. 
There was some small chat between your doctor, Simon and you. Talking about the birth plan, checking your dilation, planning the next steps as well as you could. Before you know it you are pushing, and pushing. Simon is next to you the entire time, feeding you ice chips and doting on you constantly. “You are doing so good, lovie.” - “There you go, my strong girl, you got this.” - “You are so perfect, sweetheart.” - “Almost there love, you are doing great.”
Somewhere between the tears, the pain, the constant pressure and with help from nurses and doctors. You hear cries. Your body feels instant relief, and the joy that bursts across your chest is unlike anything you have ever felt. Your eyes fall to Simon, he’s standing stiff as a board. Eyes never leaving the newborn as the nurse gently cleans the baby’s body as the doctor finishes up with you. Before you know it they are gently laying your baby onto your chest.
“Congratulations mom… a beautiful healthy baby girl!” The nurse whispers excitedly to you as she pulls your hands back, ensuring you have the baby. 
You can’t hold back the few tears that fall, “She’s a girl.” 
Your nose taking in her smell, your lips gently brushing her head. A perfect baby girl. After a few moments of silence, you look for Simon. His hands shoved in his pockets, standing to your side, eyes on your baby girl. 
“We have a baby girl, Si.” You can’t help the smile on your lips. 
Simon’s chest rose and fell rapidly, taking everything in. He was a father to a baby girl. 
“She’s so small,” Simon comments softly. 
“She sure is,” you praised. “And perfect.” Your finger found her hand, letting it wrap around your finger. You looked at the small amount of hair on her head, her eyelashes, her cheeks, her fingers, just taking her all in. After about 5 minutes of silence, a nurse speaks.
“Congratulations you two, would dad like a turn holding her?” She asked politely as she reached for your daughter.
“Here Si,” you encouraged. Gently handing the baby to the nurse. Watching her carefully as she took the baby from you, walked around the bed to Simon and she patiently stood in front of him. 
Simon of course wanted to hold her, but she was tiny. He had only really ever been around one baby before, his nephew and he couldn’t for the life of him remember him being this small. His blurred eyes took in her features, she was beautiful. 
“I uh-” he cleared his throat. “I don’t know if I can. She’s so small and I’m so-” he gestured to himself. Clearly uncomfortable with the idea of his hulking frame, meant for killing to hold this sweet innocent baby. His sweet innocent baby girl. 
“You can hold her, just trust me, you can do it” you encouraged. “Look at me Simon.”
He almost had to force his eyes from your daughter so he could look at you. Your sweet face, eyes tired but shining happily, encouraging him. You almost took his breath away, beautiful as ever. If you believe in him, maybe he should believe in himself.
“I love you, you can hold her. Look at her Si, our daughter, she wants her daddy.” You swallowed hard, not entirely sure if that is what he needed to hear or not.
Barely a moment went past before he held his hands out towards the nurse. She showed him exactly what to do, she never let go of the baby until she was certain that he was ready. Before you knew it there he was, as still as he had ever been, barely even breathing as he held her. 
You couldn’t believe it, seeing her tiny body being held by such a mass, that is Simon. A singular hand of his is almost the size of her whole body. You felt warmth bloom across your chest watching him with her. The way his stiff shoulders eventually relaxed more. How he leaned into her, smelling her tiny head, followed by whispers you couldn’t hear. 
“I can’t believe I have a daughter,” Simon chuckles out with a wet laugh. “I am so proud of you baby.” He then turns to you, “You did amazing.” 
Brown eyes filled with unshed tears hold onto yours that are allowing tears to fall freely. “We did amazing, Si…” you said truthfully. “Just look at her, she’s as much me as she is you.” 
Simon pulled his eyes back to the sweet baby in his arms. “Yeah I guess so, huh?” He could even see that the tiny wisps of hair on her head were definitely the exact shade of his. 
It was then the nurse popped back up, “And what are we naming her mom and dad?” She asked innocently. 
How have you both forgotten you need a name for the baby? 
“Uh- well we haven’t quite decided yet,” Simon answered quickly. 
“That’s perfectly okay! No rush,” she responded politely. “Let’s finish getting her and mom all cleaned up. Then I’ll get you to your room. How does that sound?” 
Simon looked at you, you nodded at him with a grin. 
“Sounds great, thank you.” He responded politely. 
The nurse went back to him to grab your daughter, hands out waiting. Only Simon didn’t budge. His eyes were solely focused on the baby in his arms. 
“Sir?” She questioned gently. 
Simon almost startled before looking at her, then down at the baby again, and back to the nurse. 
“I just need her for a little bit, then you can have her back. How does that sound?” 
Simon actually grumbles, no words, just grumbles. 
Fuck, you love him. “Simon,” you almost laugh. “Let the nurse have her baby.” 
He doesn’t give in immediately, a minute or so passes before he huffs and gently hands her over to the nurse. 
“Thank you…” the nurse smiles at him. “The doctor will be right back to assist you with another nurse. I’ll meet you both in your room.” She turns to you. “Okay?”
“Okay,” you say to her, eyes not leaving the baby. 
A moment goes by and you turn your head to Simon to find his eyes already on you. Nothing but pure adoration for you. 
“You’re going to be the best daddy ever,” you whisper to him truthfully. 
“I can only promise you that I will give it my all,” Simon says honestly. Hand nervously touching the back of his neck. “I only wish to give you both the best life possible.” 
Both of your eyes are unwavering, holding each other trying to convey emotions you can’t quite say out loud. You aren’t naïve, you know this will be hard, of course raising a human together won’t be easy. If there was anyone in the world you would be willing to go through this with, it was Simon. 
“I know this was all… unexpected, but I don’t think I have ever felt happier than I feel at this moment. Right now.” 
“Ditto, love.” You can hear his smile. “Ditto.” 
Tags: @daemondoll @mileyraes @axoleos @arminarlertssword @wawuwe @cxltblood @mrflyingbanana03 @itsmytimetoodream @arminarlertssword @mrssabinecallas @babygirl-riley @gplol @yuly
Thank you for reading! If you have an idea or request for where they go from here, feel free to send 🖤
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velnna · 3 months
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Hi ! How are you ?
I have a question: what are the love body languages of Astarion and Staeve ? (like how they show their affection, how they flirt ...)
N.B: I really enjoy your art style !
Thank you!
I don't have a straightforward answer for that but I can say Staeve in general is a very outwardly affectionate person when he gets the room for it. He'll hug, hold, kiss, nuzzle or just lean against people he cares about if they're okay with it. He's also very vocal and used to rolling with punches so he'll say the cheesiest things both as a quip and with full honesty if he sees the opportunity. There's no such thing as stressing how much he cares about someone enough
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So then the rest comes down to Astarion reacting to it. Just allowing Staeve into his personal space is already a way of letting him know he matters. I reckon he'd eventually warm up (eyy) to touching, holding and being held, etc, and for his part Staeve would learn to recognise and respect the times he's not up for it. I see them being obnoxiously cuddly at times, if nothing else for the way my brain converts them into cats. Staeve looks like he's a furnace so I imagine cold blooded Astarion would lay on him like a lizard on a sun-kissed rock
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And then I suppose he'd verbalise his affection too, less often but meaningfully. Most of the time he'd just throw retorts back at Staeve but again, my boy's smart enough to learn when they're a sign of actual annoyance or just their usual dynamic. All that 16 INT is allocated into figuring Astarion out
Oh and Staeve would also be heavy on gifting and sharing shit. Anything he found interesting or fitting would be promptly snatched and proudly left at Astarion's doorstep, possibly followed by extensive rambling about said object
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Thanks for coming to my TED talk
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springtyme · 5 months
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51 ✨ for carmy 🐻
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐀𝐭 𝐀 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 ♡
Thank you for the request anon, I hope you like it! 💕
Carmen Berzatto x reader || Carmy playlist || Main masterlist
51: “I can’t live without you.”
The strain of Carmy's new responsibilities at The Beef has taken a toll on your relationship, leaving you worried and questioning your place in his life. And you're scared, but not for the reason Carmy thinks.
Angst (with a happy ending). Hurt/comfort. Mention of what happened to Michael.
word count: 2.1k
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You stand in the dimly lit hallway of your apartment, anxiously tapping your foot against the worn floorboards. It’s late, much later than Carmen had told you he would be home. The clock on the wall mocks you with its ticking, each second feeling like an eternity.
Your relationship with Carmen has been strained lately, the weight of his responsibilities after taking over The Beef after Micheal’s death has taken a toll on both of you.
You and Carmen had met in New York, about two years ago, when he had moved into the apartment next to yours. You had not looked for a relationship and neither had Carmen, but it was like fate had kept pushing the two of you together. 
It had just started out with a few chance encounters in the hallway or at the local grocery store, with him stumbling slightly over his words as he asked you about your day or offered to carry your groceries. 
But it had been a power outage which had left the whole building in darkness that really had brought you together. You had fumbled your way out in the hallway to figure out if it was just your apartment that had lost power or if it was the whole building. And that’s when you had bumped into Carmen, literally. His strong arms had wrapped around you instinctually, preventing you from falling on your ass. 
You had candles in your apartment, unlike Carmen so you had invited him in to share the light and wait for the power to be restored. As the hours passed, you two ended up talking and getting to know each other better. It was a simple yet intimate evening, and from that moment on, you felt a connection that you couldn’t ignore and a sweet friendship had blossomed between you.
He didn’t have much time off, literally working at one of the best restaurants in the world, but the moments you did spend together were cherished, and it hadn’t taken long before your connection had grown even stronger, evolving into something more than just friendship and eventually blossoming into a real and deep relationship. 
You had not hesitated to say yes to move back to Chicago with him after his brother had passed away.
You never got to meet Michael, Carmen didn’t really speak to him through all the time you dated, you've never fully understood what had happened between them, but you have a feeling that Carmen didn't really knew it either, and he has never really liked talking about his family in general, but you do know that he loved Michael a lot.
You had tried to convince him to go to the funeral, telling him that you would be there for him, but he had kept shooting the idea down. He kept excusing it by saying that he couldn’t, his contract at the French Laundromat hadn’t expired yet, and despite that being true, you had a feeling that going to the funeral would make the loss of his brother feel all the more real, and that was something he wasn’t ready for.
You also had the feeling that he didn’t want to see his mother, at least not in that setting, so you had just decided that you would let him grieve in his own way, and just be there for him in whatever way he needed you to.
It had been the same you had done with his job after all.  
You know that he had loved his job in New York, in his own fucked up way. It was a messed up, down right toxic, work environment, and it had hurt to see him come home every night, tired to the bone, both physically and emotionally drained, yet he kept doing it. His ineffable love for the culinary arts that just couldn’t be extinguished kept him going. It is just after you moved to Chicago a month ago that he told you that he would throw up every morning before work.
It crushed you to hear that Carmen was suffering silently, but you understood why he continued to push through. The restaurant industry was demanding and competitive, and Carmen was determined to prove himself. You had hoped that the move to Chicago would bring some relief, a fresh start away from the toxicity of his previous job. However, the weight of his responsibilities at The Beef seemed to have only deepened the strain on your relationship.
You love him, and you want to be there for him, no matter what. But the constant absence and distance have started to make you question where you stand in his life. But most of all you’re just sad that he is sad, or really it's more that you're sad that he is in a situation that should make him sad, it's like he doesn’t even really allow himself to be sad, and that really hurts to watch. 
You try to push away those negative thoughts, you try yo remind yourself that Carmen is just going through a difficult time, but that just makes the worried feeling in the pit of your stomach feel even heavier.
As the front door finally creaks open, your heart skips a beat. Carmen steps inside, his weary eyes meeting yours. The exhaustion etched on his face is painfully evident, and your worry intensifies, yet you're just so happy to see him. As he slides off his jacket his white t-shirt comes into view, it’s stained with sauces and his hands bear the marks of countless hours spent in the kitchen, but it’s the weariness in his eyes that tears at your heart.
“Hey,” he mumbles, his voice hoarse from lack of rest. “Why are you still up?
You muster a small smile, trying to hide your concern. “I couldn’t sleep,” you admit softly, stepping closer to him. “I was worried about you. You said you’d be home earlier.”
Carmen sighs heavily, running a hand through his unruly hair. “I know, I’m sorry, it was just... things got really busy tonight.”
You nod, biting your lip to hold back the words that threaten to spill out. You want to scream at him, not from a place of anger, but frustration, to make him understand that his health is more important than any sandwich on the menu. But you also know that he pours everything he got into the restaurant.  
“I’m just worried about you, Carmy,” you finally manage to say, your voice tinged with both frustration and concern. “You work yourself to the bone, and it’s taking a toll on you. I can’t bear to see you like this.”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I know,  but there is not much I can do about it, okay. I’m sorry for putting you through this. But I can’t just abandon the restaurant. If I don’t fix it Jimmy’s gonna sell it and turn it into a fucking Applebee’s.” 
Tears well up in your eyes as you take a step closer to him. “I get that, Carm. I do. But you need to take care of yourself too. It hurts seeing you like this.” 
Carmen looks at you, his tired eyes searching your face. There’s a mix of frustration and resignation in his gaze, as if he knows you’re right but doesn’t know how to change the situation. The weight of his responsibilities seems to visibly crush him, and it breaks your heart.
“I know, I know,” Carmen says, his voice tinged with defeat. “But it’s not that simple. The Beef is struggling, and I need to turn it around. I can’t just walk away.”
Your frustration builds, and you can’t help but argue back. “I understand that, Carmy, but you also can’t sacrifice your well-being for the sake of this restaurant. There has to be a way to find a balance, to take care of yourself too.”   
“I know I need to take care of myself, and I don’t want to keep putting you through this,” his voice taking on a more frustrating tone, he isn’t yelling, but there’s an edge to it. “But I just... I don’t know how to do that right now, okay”
The tone of his voice makes you pause for a moment, he has never talked to you like that before and you can’t help but slightly flinch. You know that he is just frustrated but it still makes you feel a deep pang of hurt. It’s not that you’re scared or anything, you know that he would never ever hurt you, you’re just sad that it has come to this. 
But seeing you flinch clearly affects Carmen, his frustrated expression softening, turning into an expression of guilt and regret instead.  
You swallow the lump in your throat and take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure before saying what you need to say. “I love you, Carmen, and I want you to be happy. But I can’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself in the process.” you’re taking a deep breath before continuing, “you’re scaring me.” 
Carmen’s gaze meets yours, the expression in his eyes breaking your heart. “I never wanted to scare you. And I-I would never hurt you.” 
This makes your heart break even more, yes you had flinched at his tone of voice, but not because you in any way had thought he would physically hurt you, never. The thing you’re scared of is that he’ll end up hurting himself…  
You reach out to take Carmen’s hand, wanting to assure him that you understand his intentions, but also wanting to convey the depth of your concern.
“I’m not scared you’ll hurt me, Carm. I know you’d never do that. I’m scared you’ll hurt yourself.” Tears are now streaming down your cheeks, your voice trembling as you’re about to unveil your biggest fear in all of this. “I just don’t want you to end up like Micheal, okay… I was scared that the reason you didn’t come home was because you had blown your brains out on a bridge somewhere.”  
Carmen’s eyes widen at your words, a mixture of shock and pain flashing across his face.
He reaches out to gently wipe away your tears, his touch warm and comforting. “I’m not going to end up like Michael,” he whispers, his voice filled with a mixture of determination and vulnerability. “I promise you, I could never do that to you.”
You hold onto his hand tightly, desperately seeking reassurance. “But Carmy, you’re pushing yourself so hard. You’re not taking care of yourself, and it scares me. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t live without you.”
He pulls you into a tight embrace, holding you as if he never wants to let go. “You don’t have to, I promise you.” His voice cracks with emotion, and you can feel his tears dampening your shoulder.
You hold onto him just as tightly, your heart breaking for the pain he’s been carrying alone and you’re just so happy that he is finally letting himself cry.  
Carmen pulls away slightly to look into your eyes, his expression a mix of gratitude and determination. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m so grateful to have you by my side.”
You smile through your tears, relieved to see him opening up and acknowledging the need for change. “We’ll figure it out together. We’ll find a way to make things work.”
“Yeah, we will,” he nods, before continuing. “I… I actually started going to Al-Anon, I go three times a week.” 
You’re taken aback by Carmen’s revelation, but also immensely proud of him for taking this step. You gently squeeze his hand, your love for him growing with each passing moment. “That’s amazing, Carm,” you say softly. “For how long?”
“I started going two weeks ago, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything earlier,” he admits, a hint of shame in his voice. “I guess I just needed to take it in my own tempo.” 
You shake your head, wiping away your remaining tears. “It’s okay, Carm, I’m just so glad you’re looking out for yourself.” 
Carmen takes a deep breath, his gaze filled with renewed determination. “I really don’t deserve you, thank you for not giving up on me, even when I pushed you away. I love you so much, and I promise I’ll find a way to make this work.”
You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his lips, feeling a sense of hope and unity. “I love you too, Carmy. And yeah, we’ll face this together, one step at a time.”
Thank you for reading! ♡ this is my first time writing for Carmy and I had such a blast writing for him, but I also was a little intimidated by this piece, so please let me know what you thought ♡
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beanytuesday · 7 months
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Hey, I love your art -- I was wondering if you ever posted your illustration for Kafka's "A Hunger Artist" on here? It's really evocative and gorgeously framed, and I find myself thinking of it frequently!!
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Thank you for the kind words. A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka is one of my favorite short stories of all time, and it’s a very quick read. You can read it right here:
https://www.kafka-online.info/a-hunger-artist.html
Go ahead, I’ll wait here.
I’d like to take us opportunity to talk a little bit about the story, if I may.
Although there are a couple different interpretations of the story's meaning, it unambiguously read to me as an allegory for the plight of the creative, likely drawing from Kafka’s own experience. The ‘starving artist’ comparison is obvious, but there’s much more to it than that. In a departure from most other depictions in media, the plight of the artist is not depicted as something noble or redemptive, but as a sort of self-destructive madness. The hunger artist dies alone and in obscurity, his impact on the world ultimately being completely marginal and insubstantial. When questioned about why he chose a life like this, he reveals that he doesn’t even enjoy fasting, he simply couldn’t find any food he liked. That is to say, a true creative does not select this kind of self destructive lifestyle because they enjoy it; rather, it is because they cannot possibly bear to do anything else. Kafka himself, It should be mentioned, supposedly despised pretty much every job he ever had.
As some of you may know, I developed severe tendinitis a couple months ago. Mentally, September was probably the worst months of my entire life. I reflected on this story a lot –I had wrought my own self destruction, and for what? A couple of bucks? A few comics that i’ll become embarrassed of in a year’s time anyway? Unsure about my prospects for recovery, I became incredibly depressed.
But having been starved of the ability to write or draw, I had a genuine epiphany. Standing at the corner of Boston liquors in Allston, I resolved that I would muster the strength to endure this, regardless of how long it took, because what awaited me at the end was nothing short of the greatest prize a person could ask for: That very thing derided by Kafka –the life of an artist.
There is no greater pleasure than making art. I mean that genuinely, I mean that literally. No, it isn’t noble, no, it isn’t redemptive, but in a totally hedonistic and self-serving way it is simply the greatest thing that life can offer, ambrosia in the mouth, better than sex, better than drugs, better than anything that money can buy, and I feel pity for anyone unable to experience it. I am not being hyperbolic, I am not being metaphorical. I am stating this in the plainest of terms, having lived a life without it for the last couple of months.
So although my personal relationship to the story has changed in the past couple months, Kafka was right about one thing; nothing else tastes good, at least not by comparison. We must imagine the hunger artist happy.
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doitforbangchan · 13 days
Text
All Bark and No Bite - 18
Masterlist /Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
Previous - Next
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Chapter warnings: Afab/fem reader, smut, unprotected p in v, mentions of oral (f receiving), sub!reader, Dom!Minho,crying (a TON), Dacryphilia, edging, masterbating, borderline voyeurism, choking, spanking, sir kink, subspace, biting, blood in mouth, angst, threats of violence, illusions to violence, cursing, fluff, kissing, dirty talk, petnames
WC: 14k
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“Yeah, no thank you.” 
“Come on, baby! I promise it won’t be like last time!” 
“Jinnie…. last time was yesterday..” 
“Exactly! 24 hours is enough for me to hone in on my skill.” 
“Technically it’s been less than 24 hours-“ 
“That doesn’t matter! I swear I’ve gotten better!” 
Hyunjin had been trying to convince you to let him do your makeup again, but this time he wasn't satisfied with just staying at home; no, this time he wanted you to wear it out. In public.
You stood before the mirror in the bathroom, freshly showered and beginning to get ready for the day. Albeit a little late in the morning- Jisung had demanded his ‘new favorite breakfast’ again this morning- but after making real breakfast for the pack it was time to get a move on with your day. 
“Jinnie,” You fiddled with your hair brush, not wanting to upset him or hurt his feelings in any way but still attempting to remain adamant, “As much as I love you, I would really prefer to do my own makeup for today. Especially since Chan said most of the town would be attending the carnival, I really want to make a good impression on everyone.” 
His lips curled in a playful grin and he practically had heart eyes. “Say you love me again.”
“I love you.” 
“Again.” He requested, wrapping his lanky arms around your midsection from behind. “Tell me again.” 
“Hyunjin, I love you so much.” The sincerity in your voice almost made him cry. 
“Ok, I concede. You can do your own makeup today, baby.” He planted a wet smooch against your cheek, making you giggle and squirm in his hold. “On one condition.” He held up one finger. You hummed in question. “I get to sit here and keep you company while you get ready.” 
You nodded with a wide smile, “Deal.” 
The beta removed himself from you and hopped onto the counter next to you, being careful of your products. You started on your hair while he queued up some music on his phone. 
“So what brings on this sudden interest in makeup?” You asked, genuinely curious, as he had not expressed (to you at least) any urge to learn. 
He set the phone down; a slower melodic sounding song playing into the room, it was a gentle tune that just screamed Hyunjin. 
“My muse, of course.” 
He said it so casually, like it didn’t make your heart swell.
“I wanted an excuse to spend time with you, so I started looking up videos about makeup. Then it turned into me wanting to perfect the art form, and what better canvas than my favorite person.” 
“Jinnie.” You blinked away the tears, but one slipped out anyway. “ You never need an excuse to be with me. I want you around, always. You’re my Jinnie.” 
He reached out and wiped the wet trail off your cheek, cooing at you. “Sweet baby, don’t cry. I just love you so much I wanted something just for us. Time for only Baby and Jinnie.” He kissed you and wiped more of your tears. “Seriously, if you don’t stop crying you're gonna make me start.” 
“Ok ok,” You pulled yourself together, sniffling once and willing the water works to stop. “Enough sappy shit,” that caused Hyunjin to snort, “I gotta get ready.” 
You chatted with each other as you finished your hair and began on your makeup. You did your face then moved on to trying to cover up the hickeys and bruises left all over your neck and shoulders. 
“Why are you doin that for?” Hyunjin asked, eyeing the cover up in your hands. “Everyone will know you’re there with us anyways.” 
You dabbed your makeup sponge on your skin, glancing at him through the mirror. “I have no issue whatsoever with everyone knowing I’m with the pack. I don’t particularly want to go out in public looking like an animal mauled me, though. I am still a lady afterall.” 
Hyunjin nodded in agreement, “Yeah that makes sense. Not everyone gets the privilege of seeing the naughty things we do to you, baby.” 
“Exactly!” You applied the finishing touches, putting down your applicator and turning to face him. “How do I look?” 
You had already gotten dressed beforehand; clothed in a pair of black high cut jean shorts that had little white flowers all over it and frayed edges, and a white one shoulder crop top that had corseted laces in the back. You also planned on pairing the fit with some strappy white sandals. Now with your hair and makeup done, you felt cute as hell. 
“Looking great baby! Give me a spin!” You did as he asked and he cheered out loud for you, hyping you up. “Hot damn, gonna give the whole town a boner, out there looking like that.” 
“Hyunjin!” You laughed and pushed at him. “Don’t be gross.” 
He held his hands up in defense, “It’s not gross if it’s true.” 
You laughed again, now turning on your heel to exit the bathroom. “Very profound of you, Jinnie.” Hyunjin followed you out of the bathroom and to your room. You were surprised to find there was already someone in there, rifling through your drawers. “Minnie, what are you doing?”
Seungmin looked up at you, clearly having been caught but showing zero remorse or embarrassment. “Hey puppy. Loving the shorts.” He grinned, and continued his digging. It was only when he lifted a particularly flimsy garment did you realize exactly which drawer he was rummaging in. Your panty drawer. “Why don’t you ever wear this one for me, huh?” 
“Seungmin!” You felt your face heat up. 
“You dirty perv! What the fuck are you doing?!” Hyunjin demanded, aghast at the younger's blatant behavior. 
“Oh lighten up Hyung.” Seungmin snickered, then he held his fingers like a slingshot, shooting Hyunjin with the pair of underwear. Hyunjin was shocked at the assault, yelping when it hit him (even though it didn’t hurt at all).
You shrieked and stormed over to him, grabbing the next pair he held up before he could sling another one. “That is enough of that!” 
“Yeah stop your shit, Seung!” Jinnie stomped his foot and pouted dramatically. Seungmin narrowed his eyes at the elder beta, his lip twitching with disdain at the order from his Hyung. Though Hyunjin was not his alpha- so Seungmin chose to ignore the demand. 
A request from you on the other hand; looking up at him with a stern glower, eyebrows scrunched and lip tucked between your teeth- he couldn’t possibly continue his teasing, no matter how much he enjoyed it. 
Seungmin threw his hands up in surrender, offering you a lazy smile. “Alright, baby. I concede. Don’t wanna get on my puppy's bad side. Last time she threw a can at me.” He ruffled your hair as you huffed, making him laugh. 
“Funny how you don’t worry about my bad side, little prick.” Hyunjin attempted to launch the previously flung pair of underwear, but it only slung past Seungmins body, missing by over a foot. The younger beta glared menacingly at the elder, the latter immediately understanding the threat.  He looked at his wrist as if there were a watch there (there wasn’t).“Well would you look at the time, I should get ready to go. See you later baby!” With that Hyunjin sped down the hall. 
Seungmin smirked at the retreating figure, amused that his look had the desired effect. You, though, were still giving him that disapproving frown, clearly finding the ordeal humorless. “Seungmin, what are you doing in my drawers?” 
He ran a hand through his hair, gesturing to the items on your bed you hadn’t noticed. It was a stack of t-shirts. Seungmins t-shirts. 
He now felt a little abashed, refusing to meet your eyes and a light pink dusting covering his cheeks. “You walk around wearing Chan’s clothes so often, I thought maybe you’d want something of mine sometimes too.” 
“Aww Minnie,” Your heart melted and you encased him in your arms, nuzzling against him. “Of course I want some of yours too, that is very sweet of you Minnie.” 
‘Yeah, so sweet. Not possessive at all.’ He thought cynically of himself as you held him.
Your words were slightly muffled as your face continued to bury in his chest, “But why were you in my underwear?” 
“I was going to put the shirts inside your dresser, but I got distracted.” He shrugged, not seeing a problem. “Puppy, I am just a man. A man who is a little bit obsessed with your pussy- and anything to do with it.” 
You pulled away quickly, mouth agape and your face heating rapidly. “ Why is everything you say so vulgar?!” 
He grabbed your face with both hands, his thumbs running along your cheeks, “Because I know how embarrassed it makes you, my little puppy.” He was cooing his words, as if talking to a real puppy. You wanted to move and avoid further mortification but he held you still, relishing in your submission. He held your gaze for another moment longer then he sighed wistfully, closing his eyes and leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. 
You also closed your eyes, leaning into his touch once again. “Minnie..” You sighed quietly, more like a whisper than anything. 
“Hmm”
“Love you..” 
“Mm,” He pulled away slowly, peering down at you now. “Love you, baby.” 
“Even though you're a perv.” 
That made him fully burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling “ Only for you.” He reached around and pinched your ass hard. You yelped and smacked his hand, backing away and out of reach from his torment. 
“Way to ruin the moment, jerk.” 
“You’re the one who ruined it by calling me a perv!” 
“I only call it like I see it, Minnie.” 
You had a little smirk on your face that he just wanted to wipe off, and show you how much of a pervert he could really be. That would have to wait for another day, though. There was no time, seeing as the summer festivities were already underway. 
“Remember this conversion. You don’t know what a perv looks like yet, pup.” He made his way to your door, stopping at the threshold. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and turned to you again. “Get your shoes on, it’s almost time to go.” 
He winked then left your room. You let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Sweet and tender Seungmin was definitely your favorite - though the playful cheeky side of him was amusing sometimes as well. 
‘I love a versatile man’ You laughed at your own thoughts, then gathered yourself and found your sandals. 
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You found Hyunjin, Changbin, Jeongin, Seungmin and Chan all downstairs chatting and cracking jokes. 
Changbin was the first to notice you when you walked into the room and he made a show of whistling and clapping. “WOAH! Looking GOOD baby!” 
Jeongin coughed, “Simp.” He coughed again, then received a harsh push from the older alpha, making him laugh. 
You giggled, “Thank you Binnie.” 
Jeongin pushed Changbin back, making Changbin stumble back into Seungmin who at the contact made a disgusted face and pinched Bins arm. They all started to bicker as Hyunjin laughed and Chan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 
Only when the roughhousing started getting too mean did the head alpha step in. 
“Enough!” His voice raised only slightly, but his tone held so much power- so much authority. Hearing it instantly made you wet. 
The three boys stopped their antics at the command of the alpha, all three separating from the other. 
“All of you, go get into the car.” He pointed to the door, “Quietly.” He looked at Hyunjin, “You too, go.” The beta went to protest but an eyebrow raise and a look from the alpha quickly shut him up, him too shuffling out the door like a wounded dog. 
“Never a dull moment, huh Channie?” You smiled in jest, it was then you noticed he wasn’t dressed to leave yet; he was still shirtless and in his basketball shorts. “ Not that I mind you being shirtless, but why aren’t you ready? Aren’t you coming with us?” The look on his face gave him away immediately. “Channie! This is supposed to be a fun day out for all of us! You included!” You whined, tugging on his arm. 
“I’m still going, omega. Just a little later.” You pouted at his words and went to turn away from him, making him grab your cheeks with one hand turning you back to face him. “Don’t pout. It’s still a weekday, I have to work. Someone in this house has to make enough money to support nine people. I will be there in a few hours after I get some important work done.” You felt your lip tremble in his hold, his tone noticeably hardening and making you want to cry. Thankfully you were able to steel yourself and hold your tears back before you messed up your makeup. 
“Ok alpha, I understand. M’ sorry.”
His look noticeably softened. “You’ll have fun regardless, I promise.” He kissed you on your mouth and let go of you. “The boys are waiting for you, better go before they strangle each other.” 
You nodded, leaning up to give him another quick kiss, then scurrying yourself out the door. 
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As you expected, the drive into town was.. Chaotic to say the least.  Chaotic yet comforting. You loved how authentically themselves they are with each other. You pressed your face to the glass of the window as you passed by downtown, seeing it set up with booths and market stalls and tons of people. A little further down  obscured by buildings you could make out the tops of some rides. 
“Cutie pie.” Jeongin tickled your side from behind as he watched how enthralled you became. 
Seungmin parked his car in a back lot and the lot of you clamored out. “The others are around here somewhere, they got a head start this afternoon.” Seungmin said, locking the car. 
Hyunjin grabbed one of your hands and Jeongin grabbed the other one. Both started to drag you along with them. “What should we do first, baby? Shopping? Food?” Hyunjin asked, pursing his lip in thought. “OOO how about rides?” 
“Yes, rides! You like rides, dontcha baby?” Jeongin beamed at you. 
“I love rides.” You beamed back, excited. Even back when you lived with your family you hadn’t been allowed to go to the fair in years. Your elder sister always made sure to bring you back something. Be it food, stuffies won from games, hell one time she even brought you a goldfish. 
You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of her now. You remembered how she used to hold your hand, back when you were too small to be left to your own devices. You both used to be the best of friends, even though she was so much older than you she always made sure to include you in her plans. As you got older and presented as an omega, the bond you shared began to strain. She still had most of her freedoms as a beta. Your father didn’t hold her leash as tightly as he held yours and your mothers. She still got to go to school, have friends, meet boys.. In your teens you had resented her for it, but now you understand it wasn’t her fault she was able to have more of a life. It was your fathers. 
You wondered what she was up to since you left. And if she missed you as much as you now missed her. You missed your mom too. She was the only one you could relate to. There was a pain in your heart as you thought about how much she must have cried when you disappeared. 
A sourness was draining out of you in waves, your inner turmoil coming out for all to smell. It was only a second before you were being tugged into the arms of Jeongin; the alpha being able to smell it just before Hyunjin could. 
“Baby, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” He asked, keeping you close and away from any one else. 
“We don’t have to do rides right now if you don’t wanna!” Hyunjin said, trying to make it better but having no idea why. 
You shook your head, “No, no I’m ok. Nothing is wrong.” You gave them a weak smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. 
Jeongin tapped his nose, “I think you’re forgetting we can smell your emotions, omega. And I’m just saying, you do have a lot of emotions.” He saw your face fall in shame before he backtracked, “Not that it’s a bad thing! It’s not your fault your sensitive baby! I love it! Just not when you're upset like this.” 
“M’ sorry guys. I was just thinking about my family, how much my sister loved the fair. I didn’t mean to  make myself sad.” You hugged tighter into Innie, Hyunjin coming in and sandwiching you between them.
“I know you’ll never forget the memories you’ve made with your family, and of course I never want you too; but I hope that we can make more happy memories together as a new family. Ones that we can look back on when we’re old.” Jeongin had a light pink creeping onto his cheeks, his own sentiment making him shy. 
“Yeah memories we can tell our kids about!” Hyunjin added, pressing kisses to the back of your head. 
Now it was your turn to get shy, “You guys wanna grow old with me and have babies? You guys don’t eventually want to find someone who you don’t have to share?
They both shook their heads vehemently, with Jeongin answering first. “Of course we want to grow old with you baby! We took your mating bites, there is no one else for us for as long as we live. If you’ll have us…” 
“Yes I want you! All of you! I love everyone in this pack so much, I can’t imagine a life without all of you in it.” 
“And our babies?” Hyunjin added, sounding hopeful. 
You giggled “Yes Jinnie, and future babies.” You reached up and pinched both of their cheeks, laughing harder when they whined, smacking your hands away. “Any babies from you lot are going to be just the cutest. Now let’s stop being sappy and go ride some rides.” 
You took their hands again and tugged them off to have fun. You were feeling much better now, the boys having done a great job at taking your mind off of it. Though now, all three of you could only think of a litter of little chunky babies. 
The future is looking better everyday.
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“Hey Changbin!” 
The alpha was perusing the food stalls, deciding which sweet to start with (though he knew he would eventually try all of them), when he heard his name being called. Behind him was Wooyoung, his hair slicked back and his hand in the air waving him over.
“What’s up bro?” Changbin went over to where the beta was standing, greeting him with a bro hug. “Thought you were busy with your uncle today.” 
“The old man let me go early.” Wooyoung replied, putting his hands in his pockets casually, and looking around. “You uh, here alone?” 
“Pfft, no. The whole pack is here, I think minus Chan. Old man never stops working.” Changbin replied, peeping at the goods at the stall they were by, and missing the glint in Wooyoungs eyes. 
“Chan is your head alpha, right?” What Changbin didn’t miss was the mild excitement lacing the betas voice suddenly. 
He looked at him with a side eye, “Yeaahh, he’s pack leader. Why?” 
Wooyoung did his best to look abashed, glancing away and then rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh you know me, just love a strong alpha. Woulda been nice to meet him.” 
Changbin laughed then, clapping Wooyoung on the back. “Don’t let your own alpha hear you say that. From what you said he can get pretty possessive.” 
The beta snorted, “You don’t know the half of it.. Anyways, do you wanna hang out for a while?” 
Changbin agreed enthusiastically, happy to have a companion for the day. The two of them meandered together, chatting and laughing. After a while Changbin got a text in the group chat, asking for whoever is closer to the ride section to come for a second. Changbin happened to be only a few yards from the rides area, thus he replied so. 
“Looks like Baby got a little motion sick, I’m gonna run and get her real quick.” Changbin said and turned to walk down the path. Wooyoung nodded, biting his lip to conceal his smirk. 
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Everything was spinning, you couldn’t stand up straight or you would surely tumble down. You were leaning against Hyunjin for stability. 
“You’re alright baby, take all the time you need.” The beta said, rubbing your arm. 
“Too much spinning.” You mumbled, trying to get your bearings. “I think I’m done with the rides for now, boys.” You caught the crestfallen look on both of their faces, “But you guys don’t have to be done! I can go find another pack member to tag along with!” 
The boys shared a look, then Jeongin said “You’re not going off by yourself. I’ll see who’s around.” He pulled out his phone, typed for a moment then waited. After a minute or so he got a ding. “Perfect, Bin is around the corner. He’s coming to get you, baby.” 
True to his word there was Changbin coming towards you with open arms. “There's my sick little omega. Come to Binnie.” He pulled you off of Hyunjin and into his awaiting arms, giving you a hug. 
“M’ not sick, just a little too dizzy.” you said but allowed the hug. “Thank you for coming.” 
“Binnie to the rescue!” He flexed his arms, making a show of kissing his biceps. Jeongin faked gagged, making Changbin roll his eyes. “Come on, let’s leave these heathens to get so sick they throw up.” 
He took your hand and took you the opposite way from where you came from.  
“I really appreciate you coming for me, Binnie. You didn’t have to, I could have figured it out so I didn’t have to bother you.” 
He brought your joined hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of your hand. “I will always come for you, baby. No bother at all. I was just hanging with Woo, looking at food.” 
Your stomach lurched at the mention of eating right now, making you grimace. “A water bottle sounds lovely right now.” 
Changbin waved at his friend, a man you had never seen before came striding up to the pair of you. “Baby, this is my friend Wooyoung.” 
“Hi, I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.” You offered a shy wave, still holding onto Bin. 
The new man's gaze was intense as he took you in. There was something ominous in the way he looked at you, a clear eagerness residing behind his smile. “Nice to finally meet you too.” Even his voice had an eeriness you couldn’t place. 
‘Be polite Y/n, this is Binnies friend. Give him a chance.’ You thought to yourself, shaking off the negative thoughts. 
“I can finally put a face to the girl that has this pabo wrapped around her finger.”  Wooyoung pointed in jest at Changbin, who in return shoved him with a light blush creeping up his ears. 
“Shut up, Woo!” The alpha whined. That made you giggle, Bin was too cute sometimes. “Let’s get you that water, love.” 
You and Changbin walked ahead with Wooyoung following close behind. You both failed to notice when the beta pulled out his phone, taking a quick picture of you and sending it off in a text message. The only words accompanying the picture being ‘ found her’. 
Changbin bought you water and told you to let him know when it was finished, knowing you would want something after your stomach settled.  The three of you walked the downtown stalls, occasionally stopping to look at booths or for Bin to get another snack. After a while you started to feel better, no longer having a headache or the gurgling in your stomach and you found yourself accepting some of the offered bites and goods. 
You were munching on an oversized churro, listening to the two guys banter when Changbin stilled your walking with a dramatic gasp. “Look!” He pointed excitingly at a game booth. The game was one of those arm wrestling competitions, where the winner plays until they lose. “I gotta try!”
 He pulled you till him and Wooyoung were in line and you were waiting with them. The line went pretty quick, the current champ taking out people left and right. Soon there was only one person ahead of Changbin. 
“That game was made for you, Binnie.” You hyped him up with a laugh, rubbing his shoulders as if he was a fighter. “Show em who’s boss!”  
You stood off to the side as Changbin faced his opponent. You cheered him on as the arm wrestling began, both men giving it their all.  All too soon it was Changbin who forced the other man's arm down, claiming victory. The alpha jumped up and down animatedly, pumping his fists in the air. His next opponent was his friend Wooyoung. 
“You’ve seen how much I lift, Woo. You sure you wanna take me on?” Bin was being cocky, flexing at his friend. 
“Might as well give it a shot. Maybe I’ll win.” The beta responded, getting into position. 
In a matter of seconds Changbin had won again. Wooyoungs arm went down almost without resistance. 
“All that weight training and nothing to show for it.” Bin laughed, clapping the other man on the back. “We gotta work you harder from now on.” 
“Guess I gotta catch up before I can beat you.” Wooyoung shrugged, laughing too. 
Bin looked over at you, gleaming with joy at being undefeated. “Just a few more times baby, then we can go.” 
You sent him two thumbs up from your place a few feet away, “ Play as much as you want Binnie. I’m good staying here waiting for you.” He blew you a kiss then went back to playing. 
After a few minutes you finished your Churro. You went to take a drink from the lemonade  Bin got you, only to find it already gone. ‘Dangit Binnie! You said you didn’t want any!’ You glared at his back playfully, knowing he couldn’t see you. It was at this moment that Wooyoung shuffled up to you with a grin. You did your best to give him a polite smile in return. 
“Doin alright over here?” He asked you, being a touch to close for your comfort. 
You stepped back, now leaning against a wall and trying to appear natural. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just having my snack.” You lifted your now empty drink cup. 
“Ah Changbin went to town on that thing.” He laughed. 
“After he said he didn’t want any.” You laughed too, not being mad about it but still finding it amusing. 
“Do you want another one?” The man asked, still sporting his grin that gave you the chills (not in a good way). He motioned for your drink. 
“Um, “ You didn’t want to be rude. “No thank you. I should cut back on how much sugar I’ve had today. And I wouldn’t wanna inconvenience you. I’ll just wait for Binnie.”
He shook his head, “ It’s not an inconvenience at all. You look thirsty, let’s go get you another drink.” He grabbed your wrist and went to move with you. 
You dug your heels into the ground and attempted to pull your arm away.  You looked over to where Changbin was, he was too far away and cheering too loud to notice what was going on. “I said no thank you. I’m staying right here.” Now you were beyond nervous, eyes wide as you pulled again. 
“Come on, It’s just lemonade. The stall is right over there. Don’t be difficult.” He tried to keep up his nice guy tone, but you could tell he was getting frustrated. “I thought omegas were supposed to be nice and grateful.” 
He tugged you again, his grip tightening. You started to raise your voice despite the trembling in your lip “ I said no! I’m not going anywhere with you.” 
“Don’t yell you little -” 
“Get the fuck away from her.” 
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Minho was across the way, browsing a booth selling tiny animals made of rocks. He wasn’t initially going to buy anything -he just liked to browse- but he couldn’t help but stop, thinking of how excited you would be if he gifted you one of these. He wanted to show he did care about you but he wasn’t the best at verbally expressing his emotions. He figured this would do. 
After a looking for a few minutes he found the perfect one. A little cat made of some kind of pink rock. Rose quartz he would assume. He was happy with his find, quickly waving over the shop keep and pointing at the one he wanted. 
He was just finishing paying when he caught the familiar scent of the exact person who had been on his mind. Minho pocketed the little figure, and turned around with his head held high, searching for the source of that intoxicating aroma. All to quickly that scent started to sour, indicating you were in some kind of distress. 
Minho looked through the sea of people until his eyes locked on your figure from the other side of the street. You were leaning against a wall, standing with someone. No, more like being grabbed by someone. Getting closer he could see who it was. 
Wooyoung.
“That son of a bitch.” He murmured, now starting to walk quickly over to where you were. He didn’t want to run and cause a scene, well more of a scene than he was about to cause, he didn’t need anything else making his pack look bad. 
He got to you to see Wooyoung holding your wrist, not letting you go as you tried to pull away. 
 “ I said no! I’m not going anywhere with you.” 
“Don’t yell you little -” 
“Get the fuck away from her.” Minho practically snarled, pushing the younger beta away from you and getting in his face. “What the fuck is your deal?” 
Wooyoung let go when he felt the contact from Minho. “Hey man, it’s alright, just a misunderstanding.” 
“A misunderstanding huh?” He scoffed, not moving away from Wooyoung. “Here's something you should understand. Stay the fuck away from Y/n and Changbin. I don’t know what the fuck is your motive here, but this is your only warning. Stay. Away. From. them. Or I will hurt you.” The tone he used was venomous, his glare deadly. 
By now this altercation has attracted some attention, a few onlookers stopping to watch the scene unfolding. Not that any one of you cared much, too caught up in it yourselves. You just watched on in horror, praying this didn’t escalate into violence.
“Is that a threat, Minho?” Wooyoungs look hardened, glaring at the elder. 
“I don’t make threats.” 
“Woah woah woah! What is going on over here?!” Changbin had come running, now paying enough attention to hear the commotion. He put his body between Minho and Wooyoung, separating the two. 
“Keep better track of your ‘friend’, Changbin.” Minho spat, he shoved a finger into his chest, making him stumble. “He grabbed our omega. Good fucking job watching her by the way.”
“Hyung, I don’t understan-” 
“Yeah of course you don’t fucking understand. You are too fucking trusting. You don’t even know this guy and you left him with the most precious thing in our pack? Get a fucking grip.” Minhos words were like a stab to Changbins chest, the impact sitting heavy. “Tell him to keep his fucking hands to himself, and then stay away from him. I’m not joking, Changbin.” He turned to walk closer to you, putting his hand on your back and leading you away, past the onlookers. 
“Min where are you going?” Changbins voice broke as he called out. 
“I’m taking Baby home, away from him.” He replied in a hard tone, not turning around to address him at all. 
You were on the verge of tears, trying to contain your emotions but they took over anyways. You didn’t want to be around Wooyoung so you just let Minho lead you away. 
Changbin shook his head in grief. Then he turned to face Wooyoung who was still standing behind him. “What did you do?” 
“Changbin, it was nothing.” The beta tried to shrug but Changbin wasn’t buying it. Not this time. 
“You know what, Wooyoung? I think Minho’s right. Maybe I should stay away from you. You say and do some weird shit sometimes. Don’t call me. Don’t come by my gym. We’re done.” Changbin turned and walked away. He had a lot to think about. 
That left Wooyoung by himself. He waited for a second then turned and walked the opposite way Changbin had gone. He kept going until he was a few yards away from any of the townspeople, then he took out his phone. 
“Hey, it’s me.”
 Pause.
 “No, she got away from me, I couldn’t cause a big scene like that.” 
Pause.
 “I know where to find her. I’m sure you’d love to hear about her new alpha.” 
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Minho silently walked you all the way to the parking lot. Just arriving was Chan, seeing you both approaching. “Hey! Having fun?” He asked, then he noticed the hard pressed look on Minhos face and the tears in your eyes. “Oh no, what happened?” He reached up to wipe your tears, heart breaking at the little whimper you let out.
“Wasn’t me this time. I’m taking her home. This has been enough excitement for today.” At Chan's confused face he continued. “ I’ll explain it more to you later, for now you should check on Changbin. Make sure he’s not with his ‘friend’ “ Minho spit the word, clearly still steamed. 
Chan nodded slowly, feeling like Minho had his reasons for taking you. He kissed you and gave you a hug, pumping out comforting pheromones to help you calm down. He felt your shoulders relax slightly, and you hugged him even tighter. 
“Minho will take care of you, baby. I will be home soon to check on you, ok?” The alpha said, kissing your cheek this time. You nodded into him and let him go. Being in his hold helped to ground you; remind you that you’re ok. “I love you.” 
“I love you too, Channie.” 
Minho led you further into the lot and to his car. He opened your door for you and waited for you to be seated, then he reached over you and tried to buckle you in. It was at this point you were done being babied. “ I can buckle my own seatbelt Minho. I don’t need you to do it for me.” You attempted to grab it from him but he pulled it back and glared at you. 
“Oh you don’t need me to do this for you but you need me to save you?” He scoffed, finally buckling you in and slamming your door shut. 
“I didn’t ask to be saved by you.” You replied snarkily when he opened the drivers side door and climbed in. 
He turned to look at you, really taking you in for the first time that day. He took note of your teary eyes and the scrunch of your brow. He also noticed that the marks that were on your neck and shoulders were gone. 
“Where are your claiming bites?” 
His question threw you off. “Huh?” 
“Your bites and marks. They’re gone.” 
“I covered them with makeup.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Why? Are you embarrassed? Don’t want everyone to know you're taken by us?” 
“Of course I’m not embarrassed! I just wanted to look presentable in public!” You narrowed your eyes, “And there's no mark on me from you Minho, so I don’t know what you mean by us.” You knew you were being a little petty, but honestly you didn’t give a damn. 
He scoffed, a borderline menacing glaze taking over his face. “ Is that why you're acting up? Because I haven’t laid my bite into you yet? Grow up. You’ll get it when I’m good and ready to give it to you.”  He started the car, and began to back out of the spot. 
You leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and looking out the window. You didn’t have a reply that wasn’t an insult so you thought it better to keep your mouth shut. The whole drive home you and Minho ignored each other, opting to drive in silence. Both of you are stewing in your own thoughts. 
Soon enough the car pulled up to the house. You shot out of the car as soon as he parked, barely giving him a chance to turn off the vehicle. As you went up the steps you heard Minho's car door slam after he stepped out. 
You had made into the doors threshold when he grabbed your arm, halting your movements. “Go wash that filth off of you.” 
Filth? 
“Do you mean the makeup?” Or did he mean Wooyoungs stench?  
He huffed, “Yes, I don’t like it on you.” You were about to protest, but when you went to open your mouth he leaned his face closer to yours and lowered his voice. “It’s the least you could do after I brought you all the way home and away from danger.” 
You decided the matter is not worth the fight.
“Yes sir.” You rolled your eyes as you said it sarcastically. Minho resisted a growl at the title, biting his lip instead and showing off those bunny teeth of his.
 You pulled your arm free and stormed into the house and up the stairs. You did make it a point to slam the bathroom door shut, though.
You knew you shouldn’t have been so rude to him, especially after he stood up for you and got you out of that frightening situation- but you couldn’t help it. Minho was the only person you were testy with, and clearly neither of you understood why. 
The house was quiet. No one else was home yet, it was just you and Minho, and the latter was making no sound at all. It was almost eerie. You removed the makeup from your neck in silence, using the wipes provided by Hyunjin. You finished the task quickly and headed out into the hall. You rounded the corner to go to Chan's room to hide away, but before you could open the door a hand grabbed you and wrapped loosely around your neck, and a sturdy chest at your back. Your movements were halted completely as you screamed in fright, your hands coming up to grab the offending hand.  
“So you can listen to me.” 
It was Minho. You were so in your own head you didn’t even sense him nearby. 
“Minho.. What are y-” 
“Shhh,” You felt his lips by your ear, the rasp of his whisper making you shudder. “ You look so good with these pretty marks of yours showing. Purple is my favorite color, you know? And the boys sure did a good job covering you in it.” 
You felt his lips brush against your neck, lingering on the biggest hickey at the base, and his tongue poked out to touch the bruised skin. The actions felt so erotic, so sensual, yet he was barely doing anything to you. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest you were sure he could hear it pounding- if not being able to feel it in your throat. He wasn’t squeezing hard enough to hurt you, only hard enough to hold you in place. 
When the light brushes of his lips turned into full on sloppy smooches you started to lose your cool, your hand tightening around his that still held your neck as a mewl escaped your mouth. You could feel his smug smirk against your skin and you would have rolled your eyes if the situation had been different. His other hand found its way to your hip and he pulled your body even closer to his, his chest now flushed against your back. 
“Here’s what's gonna happen, omega.” You bit back another whimper at the mention of your presentation. “We’re gonna put an end to this stupid tension you and I share. You are going to be good for me and do as I say, and in return I’m going to fuck you so good you forget your own name. Do you understand?” 
You tried to nod your head frantically but with the way his hand tightened as he held your head in place told you he wanted a verbal response. “Y-yes, Min. I u-understand.” Your voice came out raspy as you tried to hold back showing your arousal yet doing a terrible job. Your panties began to dampen further when you heard his little chuckle in response to your stuttering. 
He hummed into your skin, “Mmm good girl.” He kissed your neck again and his hand traveled from your hip to your ass. He gave the cheek a squeeze, cupping it over your shorts and he hummed again. Your breathing picked up when you felt it and your eyes were falling shut as a result of all of the light stimulations. Then right as your lids finally shut he stopped; taking his hand from your throat and backing up from you. 
“Huh?” Your breath returned to you in full and you spun around to face Minho. 
He gave another chuckle at your confused expression. “What? Did you think I was gonna take you right here in the hallway? No no. I’m not that much of an asshole.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him down the hall in the direction of his room. “Plus, how else am I going to get your scent all over my sheets if I don’t have you in them?” 
You felt your face burn as he tugged you along, loving the thought of him wanting your scent all over him all the time. He opened his door and pulled you inside. The second the door was closed he had your back against the door and his arms on both sides of you caging you in. Your breath hitches in your throat as he leans in and looks into your eyes, as if he can see straight through you and into your soul. 
You lifted a hand up to his face, using your thumb to rub his cheek- so softly he could have missed it if he wasn’t so focused on your touch. “Min…” 
The whisper of his name was the scissors cutting the thread, his last strand of willpower snapped  and he was on you. His mouth was burning hot as he crashed it against your own. You returned his enthusiasm by reciprocating and the two of you devoured each other. His kiss wasn’t soft or sweet; instead it was desperate and frantic- as if he had been longing for this just as you have.
The taste of Minho's mouth was exquisite. It was very similar to how he smelled but richer. It was slightly tart and tannin rich- almost like a dark wine that's been aged to perfection. You moaned weakly into him when he ran his tongue on your own, now the two appendages fighting for dominance. 
His hands left the door and went to the base of your ass, gripping and massaging your lower cheeks, fingertips digging into the meat. He bit your bottom lip , almost drawing blood with his bunny teeth. “Fucking love these little shorts. Your ass looks so good it should be a crime. Can’t believe Chan let you out of the house looking like this.” He gripped tighter and you whined from the light pain. “If it were up to me you would never be able to show off  your sexy body to anyone outside this house. Though if it were up to me, you wouldn’t be able to leave at all. I’d keep you here, naked and ready for us to play with whenever we wanted.” 
An involuntary mewl left your lips. His words ignited a flame within you; your inner omega panting and begging for that reality. A rush of slick gushed out of you and in your panties. Minho's nostrils flared and his pupils dilated when he caught the sweetness that he knew to be the scent of your arousal. 
His hands went to your thighs, “Jump.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and did as he said, jumping into him as he hoisted you up. The muscles in his arms flexed as he carried you to his bed. He dropped you on his bed, your back hitting the softness with a small bounce. You leaned back on your elbows as you took him in. Minho was standing at the foot of the bed gazing down at you with wild eyes, and his breathing labored. You hadn’t noticed before but he was sporting a dark pair of jeans and a black tank. His hair had been pushed back but a few wispy strands fell over his eyes anyway. He looked incredibly mouthwatering. 
He sported a cocky smirk as he palmed his hard on through his jeans. In his mind you resembled a bunny rabbit; with your big glassy eyes and trembling lips- and he was the wolf that wanted to swallow you whole.
Ironic given that you thought he also looked like a bunny. 
“Take your clothes off.” You went to shuck off your top but the beta tsked, “Uh uh, slowly f’me baby.” Minho didn’t believe in instant gratification- not even for himself. 
You sat up a little more and with shaking fingers you found the laces on your top, undoing them as slow as you could while also steeling your nerves. He was watching you like a predator, a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he focused on your nimble fingers. He appeared to be much more put together than you mentally and physically. You eventually got your shirt off and your breasts were freed, the AC in the house made your nipples harden.  You then moved on to your shorts. You looked right into his eyes as you undid the buttons and the zipper, slowly pushing them down your legs and off of the bed. 
You could feel the intensity of his aura; his general assertiveness coming off of him in waves and making you want to submit fully to him. He could tell you to jump off a bridge and you would probably do it without question. Even though he wasn’t an alpha (a fact you love to remind him of) he still held domination like one. You guessed that was a natural side effect of being second oldest and second in command of a pack of men. 
Finally you got your shorts down your legs, now being almost completely naked except for your underwear. Just as you went to pull down your underwear he stopped you. “Wait, leave 'em on while I get a good look at you.” Minho’s eyes roamed all over you and made you feel slightly self conscious, your hands going to cover your chest but the growl he let out halted your movements. “I said I want to look at you, don’t you dare cover yourself from me.” Your hands reluctantly fell back to your sides. “Thata’ girl. Mmm those are some pretty panties you got on, omega. Look strangely like one of the pairs I picked out for you. Pink is definitely your color.” 
You hadn’t even realized you had on the frilliest pair he had gotten you. It was a baby pink and brazilian cut, made of intricate lace that had small bows at the edges and the waistband was sparkly. It was definitely one of your cutest pairs and it was very comfortable. He definitely knew how to pick lingerie…  and it just occurred to you he could most likely see how wet you were through the material. 
“I love this pair. It’s one of my favorites.”  You said, looking away from him after your admittance not wanting to see his the self satisfied grin you knew he was sporting. 
“Show me how much you love them.” 
You were confused. “I-I don’t understand..” 
“You said you loved that pair.” He tilted his head condescendingly. “Show me how much you love them. Touch yourself while wearing them.” 
You were speechless, your mouth agape as you looked at him in trepidation. “I uh, Minho I don’t, uh..” 
The beta put both hands on the foot of the bed and leaned down so he was closer to you, “Didn’t you say you would be good and listen to me for fucking once?” You nodded hesitantly, biting your lip. “Then do as I say and rub your pussy through those cute little fucking panties.” 
He stood again and gave you room, motioning for you to get on with it. You avoided eye contact as you took a deep breath and brought your hand to your center, gingerly running your fingertips along the soaked material hiding your core. You lightly dipped your finger into the fabric, teasing your hole then moved the digit up to your covered clit. Your chest was heaving as a moan left your lips. You touched the bundle again, this time there was more pressure that made your hips buck up into your hand. You heard him curse so you risked a quick look over to him and the sight was a spectacle to say the least. 
The man had his pants unbuttoned and lowered to his mid thigh, and his big hand was palming the erection over his underwear. He never took his eyes off you, his eyes flickering between your face to watch your expressions then back down to your hand that played with yourself. You felt yourself gush more slick and you moaned, now finding a good rhythm on your clit. 
The tension was so intense that you felt your high approaching in record time. Whispers of his name came from you and your tongue ran along your lips. “Min, Minho, I’m- m’ gonna..” 
“You wanna cum, baby?” He was being patronizing, even as he gripped his member harder.
 You nodded vehemently, right on the precipice. “Yes, yes!” 
“That’s too fucking bad. Don’t you dare cum.” 
You gasped when his other hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, halting your rubbing and ruining your orgasm. “Minho! What the fuck? Whyyyyy?!” There were tears welling on your lash line.  
You always look so pretty when you cry
He laughed at your expression, “You think you get to cum just like that? Like you deserve to after the way you consistently defy me? Nuh uh, I think you gotta work for it a little more.” He let go of your wrist but remained leaning over you. “Start again, this time with more vigor.” 
You wanted to protest, to refuse to adhere to his game- but you knew either way you would be doing as he commands. So with a wet pout your shaky fingers returned to the place between your thighs. 
This time your touches were more delicate, but that wasn’t what Mihno was after. He shook his head at you, eyes narrowing at your almost defiance. 
“Harder, omega. Rub her nice and good. I wanna see you squirm.” 
Ah, now you knew the game he was playing. He wanted you to put on a show for him, so you would do exactly that. 
You gave your clit a circling with your finger, then slipped it down your slit then back up again quickly. You felt yourself clench on nothing and more wetness left you, now it had completely drenched the fabric and was making you uncomfortable. Still, the sensations were delicious nonetheless.
All too quickly you were once again built back up and your orgasm was a few rubs away. You knew what you had to do to get what you needed. 
“Minnnn,” You whined, looking right into his eyes now. “Please, wanna cum. Been good for you, please let me.” 
He looked like he was thinking about it, and just as you thought he was going to grant your wish, he grabbed your hand again and made you stop. You let out a groan of frustration, tears now descending down your cheeks. 
“Please stop teasing me! I can’t take it!” 
“Or what? Gonna cry about it? Little crybaby omega, always blubbering. Well go ahead and cry for me. Let me see those pretty tears.” His voice was soft but his words were mean; the difference giving you whiplash and making you cry harder giving him exactly what he wanted.
Minho bit back a moan of satisfaction at the sight of your tears. He just loved to watch you cry, it made him even harder than he was before (as impossible as it seemed) and scratched the mild sadistic itch that laid within him. Soon he wanted to watch you cry while you sucked and gagged on his cock, but that would wait for another day. 
You sniffled and sobbed, unable to contain the dam that had been broken while he cooed at you. Min shucked off his pants while you wiped your eyes, then he leaned over your body and caressed your now wet cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin. You let out a wet squeal when you felt his tongue on your cheek as he lapped up your salty tears. He pulled back with a moan and his eyes shut. 
“Such a good little omega, being so obedient for me.” He nuzzled into your neck, nipping at you with a purr. “I don’t even have to be an alpha to make you do as I say right now, hmm? You're so desperate for my dick you just give into my demands.” 
One thing you noticed about Minho was that he had a strange complex about not being an alpha. He seemed to get upset when it was mentioned that he wasn’t one or when he couldn’t command the respect of one. And now he was even bringing it up in the bedroom. 
‘Maybe that’s why he takes it so personally when I attempt to defy him.’ You thought to yourself but chose to not mention it outloud. 
“How bad do you want to cum, omega?” 
“So so bad!” You continued to cry, now your hands were on his chest tugging at his shirt, “Need it, Min.” 
“As much as I like the sound of my name on your lips, I think I want you to call me something else.” He ground his hips against yours, “Call me ‘sir’.” 
How mortifying. If you had known your snide comment would lead to this you would have never made it. But if you were being honest with yourself, you kind of liked it. 
“Please sir.” 
“Fucking hell.” That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The beta roughly shoved down your panties, the fabric was soaked and wanted to cling to your nether lips, there was a string of your arousal that came with the garment as it was removed from you. 
The kisses you had shared before were child's play compared to the one he gave you now, the clashing of teeth and tongues making you feel lightheaded. Never would you have imagined the amount of passion and all consuming vigor that he would be able to channel into something as simple as a kiss, yet it had you careening into space at a devastating pace. 
Minho's fingers wasted zero time in running his fingers through your slick then spreading it around your core, soaking your skin even more. A desperate whine burst from you into his mouth, tears still steadily leaking down your face as his fingers purposefully avoided your aching bundle. 
“Please, please Minho. Need you to fuck me, I can’t take it.” 
 There was no better sound in the world than you begging for him, but you used the wrong name. He laid a sharp smack against your center, the wetness splashing with the contact. You let out a hiss at the pain. 
“That’s not my name. Try again.” 
Goddammit, he wasn’t going to let you off easy. 
“Sir, need you. Need your cock, Sir please. Need to be filled by you.” 
Minho quickly removed his boxers and threw them on the floor. Then he repositioned himself over you with a cocky smile. “Careful what you ask for, baby.” 
He gave no warning before he plunged into you, filling you completely and bottoming out in one single thrust. Your eyes rolled into your head as you threw your head back with a deafening cry. “Nggggg oh my gooooood.” 
“Holy fucking shit. Now I see what all the fuss is about.” He started to thrust into you at a punishing pace, his whole weight on top of you. “ You really do have the tightest and wettest pussy in the world. Can’t believe I waited so fucking long to fuck you.” He laid messy kisses to your neck, sucking harshly on the skin and adding his own marks to the ever growing collection. 
Your hands were gripping his hair and you cried and moaned in his ear. Sighs and whimpers of ‘sir’ ‘s’good’ and ‘please’ leaving you and being music to his ears. 
Minho sat back on his knees, taking his weight off of you and your hands scrambled out to him attempting to pull him back to you. You cried out at the sudden emptiness you felt when he pulled out with no warning. 
“No sir! Don’t go!” Your blubbering started again, your emotions running high at the consistent denial. “M’ good f’ you! Please Sir, need you back in me.” You were crying harder than you had this whole day, begging for him. 
Minho used his red tip to slap against your clit, a resounding wet ‘smack’ filling the room along with your cries. “Hear that? Here the way your pussy cries for me? The way even she begs to be filled? Don’t worry, omega. Sir will give her what she wants.” 
It was humiliating; the way he addressed a part of your body as if it wasn’t attached to you, like your pussy was its own entity with its own consciousness. You wanted to cover your face and hide so you put your hands over your face. 
“Don’t you fucking hide from me.” His growl was deep and menacing, his eyes narrowed at you. “You look at me when I fuck you.” 
Still sitting back on his knees with his back straight, Minho grabbed your hips and lifted you up enough to haul your butt over his thighs to be flush on him, and rammed his member back into you. 
This position allowed him to go even deeper than before, your eyes shot open and a scream left you at the pleasure. “Sir! Ngghhhgg fuck sir!” Your hands balled into fists as you held the sheets below you. 
“Arch your back.” He demanded through his panting. You did as he said and it somehow made you feel even closer to him. “Mmmm there we go, nice and deep in there.” He began to sweat, the teasing and playing with you has finally caught up to him. His thumb went down to where the two of you met and he found your clit, rubbing hard and precise circles on your throbbing bud.
“Fuck! Oh my god! Min-Sir, need to cum, please please let me cum this time. Please.” You were crying and babbling so hard you started drooling, mouth and eyes alike leaking wetness that dripped down your face and onto the man's bed.
His thumb pressed even harder on your clit, and gave you a lusty look, with his eyes set on yours as you begged. 
“Cum for me, omega. You’ve earned it.” 
Immediately you let go, the cord inside finally getting permission to snap. Your essence gushed out of you and sprayed onto his shirt, soaking the fabric so much that if it were any other color than black Minho was sure it would stain.  
Minho had never seen anyone cum so hard in his life, and it boosted his ego even more. It sent him hurdling quickly towards his own orgasm.
You were completely at his mercy, your mind was floating far from you and you let him manhandle you again, pushing your legs back as far as they could go by your head and he leaned back over you. His hips were snapping against you rigorously with his balls smacking your butt with each thrust. 
You kept muttering little whispers of his name and ‘sir’ in his ear, your head falling to the side to show him your neck; a sign of utter submission. “Sir, bite.. Wan it…” 
 Every ounce of the betas self control was thrown out the window, your true omega self coming through as you surrendered to him being the final push. He buried his face onto the skin of your neck - though not your mating gland- and bit into you. 
 If you could describe it, his bite was like being doused in oil and set aflame; all consuming yet you welcomed the burn. You were shaking as you felt him deepen his bite, his teeth digging as far down as he could possibly get. He wanted his bite to leave a long lasting reminder of what happened here. 
It was becoming too much for you, your core was clenching and spasming as you came for the second time in mere minutes. At the feeling of your palpitating walls clamped around him, Minho finally came with a snarling growl, teeth still latched onto you as his hips stuttered. Rope after rope of his burning hot cum entered you and filled you to the brim. 
Minho finally let go of your neck with his teeth as he pulled back to look at you. Your eyes were droopy and your face was wet and your lips (along with your whole body) were trembling. You were a mess.  A beautiful debauched mess. The most beautiful sight he had ever seen. 
Min wasn’t looking much better. His skin had a sheen of sweat and his eyes were crazed. His mouth was dripping with your blood but he made no move to wipe it away. 
There was a beat before either of you moved, though he could if he so desired, but Minho was beginning to become addicted to the way you felt wrapped around his length. He knew you probably couldn’t take any more at this time though. With a deep breath he slowly pulled out of you. You both could hear the squelch of your combined fluids cascading out of you like a waterfall. 
You groaned when he exited you, your walls were so sensitive after the pounding he gave you. 
“Shh baby, I know it hurts. You’re ok, omega.”His voice was soft and even as he petted your hair, “I’ll be right back, just take it easy for me.” 
You whined again when the beta slipped off the bed, grabbing his boxes and leaving the room quickly. Only a few moments passed before he returned with a rag and a small first aid kit. In his absence he had cleaned the blood off his face. He approached you with a soft smile, “Hold still baby, need to clean you up.” 
“Mhm” You mumbled, still clearly out of it. 
Min first used the wet rag to clean you up between your legs, wiping you down of any left over cum and fluids. When he deemed you thoroughly cleaned he tossed the rag in the corner to deal with later. Then he brought out the antiseptic from the first aid kit. He dabbed a cotton pad in it then used it to dab at your fresh bite mark. You hissed at the sting, wanting to squirm away. 
Minho cooed at you, “Nuh uh, gotta get the blood off so it doesn’t get infected. Lord only knows I’d never hear the end of it if it’s my bite that doesn’t heal.” He cynically murmured that last part but you still caught it, a little giggle coming from you as you slowly came too.  “You did so good for me, ya know? Were the most perfect little omega.” 
You purred at his praise, unable to stop the lovesick smile from etching into your lips. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.” 
He scoffed lightly, not in malice but more so in disbelief. “ You’ve always been a perfect omega.” He finished cleaning your wound and put the kit to the side then he climbed on next to you. 
He laid on his back and softly pulled you to rest on his chest as he pet your head. There was silence except for the sound of your breathing, but it wasn’t awkward. Oddly enough you found it comfortable as it gave you a moment to collect your thoughts. You imagined he was feeling similar. 
You tentatively reached for his hand and he let you. He gave your hand a squeeze then loosened the hold, instead laying his hand flat against yours and comparing the difference in size. He played with them for a second, his fingers able to slightly curl over your tips. 
“You have baby hands.” 
You snorted at his sudden comment, then looked up at him to find him already gazing down at you. “Maybe that’s why you all call me baby.” 
“Mmm” he hummed, still looking at you. “That among other things.” 
“Like what?” You raised a brow curiously. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He laughed when you whined, “Ok, fine. We call you baby because we cherish you. You’re something worth caring for.” 
His words made you pause, your hand tightened its grip on his hand and your other one fisted his shirt. That definitely was not the answer you were expecting. You honestly thought he was going to say something like ‘you cry a lot’ or ‘you whine too much’ and had mentally prepared for that answer. To know the real answer was something so genuine and romantic made your heart pound. Your lip began to wobble and the tears gathered on your lashes. 
“That, and you whine too much.” 
“Minho!” You smacked his chest lightly as he laughed. You were still crying and he brought a hand up to wipe it off your face. 
“Aww don’t cry, baby.” He was cooing at you, “You’re gonna make me hard again.” 
You brushed his hand away and buried your face in his chest. “Stooooop. You’re not funny.” 
“Who’s joking?” 
Your whole body heated from your bout of shyness and you refused to leave the safety of his chest, since you knew for a fact he would have that cute stupid smug look on his stupidly cute face. 
“I couldn’t go again right now even if I wanted to. My body is exhausted.” Your words were muffled but he still heard them, bringing that cocky smirk to his face. 
“So,” here we go, “ you’re saying I fucked you so good you physically can’t take anymore?” 
“You are the worst!” You whined, shoving him but laughing all the same.
There was another pause. Min still never stopped his delicate touches on your head. Then he broke the silence again.
“You don’t really think I’m the worst, do you?” His voice was soft yet even, as if he was trying not to show too much emotion at the question, though you could tell this was something he was self conscious over.  
“Oh Minho,” You lifted your head up to look into his eyes, though he refused to meet yours, instead staring straight ahead.  “No, of course not. Not a single one of us thinks that.” Your hand went up to his chin, trying to tilt his face down so he could look at you. 
“It’s not a secret I’m a little opinionated and hyphy. I know my attitude isn’t everyone's cup of tea. I mean, look at us, it took us how long to get here?”  
“But we made it here!” You wanted to protest but still kept your tone light. “Min, the pack cares so deeply for you. They hold the utmost respect for you and love you.” You took a deep breath and closed your eyes tight. “And so do I.” 
Silence 
Silence
Silence
“Look at me.” 
You shook your head, refusing his request. 
“You’re going to have to look at me. Especially if you’re going to give me a claiming bite.” 
That made you snap your eyes open. The beta sported a toothy grin, his beautiful bunny teeth on display for you. 
“You-you want my bite too?” You sniffled, wiping your eyes again. 
“Well, if not from the girl I love then who?” He was being WAY too casual about it but at the same time you could see the pink dusting on his cheeks. “Unless you don’t want to.” 
“Minho” you blubbered into him again. You turned your body to be chest to chest with him and you threw your arms around him. “I want to! Wanna make you mine too, please!” 
“Ok ok, baby don’t cry it’s alright.” He sat up higher so his back was against the headboard. He pulled you to climb into his lap fully, and you straddled his lap. He tilted his head to show more of his neck and he cradled you against him. “Be gentle with me, it’s my first time.” 
Of course he had to make a joke out of it. 
You chose to ignore his jest- though you did roll your eyes- and you started peppering his neck with little kisses. You wanted him to truly feel your love for him. He sighed in contentment and rubbed circles into your back. With your lips you mapped out the spot you would claim him then once your inner omega deemed it the perfect spot you bit down on him. 
He twitched from the sensation, a quiet moan rumbling out of his throat and his hand finding your head, knotting in your hair and pressing you even harder into him. It’s as if he wanted you to bite down harder. You did as your instincts told you and bit with more force. 
After lapping at the wound you remove yourself from him. Minho let you go as he found his breath, panting and eyes fluttering. His cheeks were beet red and his hair had fallen in his face. Honestly, he looked more fucked out now than he did after actually fucking. And he had never looked better.
Minho hugged you tight, then kissed you sweetly and got his own blood on his mouth but he didn’t seem to care. “Good girl.” 
A little chirp escaped you, you were clearly very pleased with the turn of events. And so was Minho. After you helped him clean the bite and wiped up the blood the two of you snuggled on his bed together and talked. It was still hard for him to open up, but he did give you some insight into his brain about how he feels. In return you did the same. It was much overdo and very therapeutic for the both of you. 
After another hour you heard the front door open and a cacophony of voices entered the house. Minho groaned when he heard it, “The idiots are back.” You laughed and rolled off of his chest. He picked up his forgotten phone and saw it was already late into the evening. “Ah shit, I have to start dinner.”
You whined and made grabby hands at him as he got off the bed. “Do you have too? I wanna cuddle some more.” 
He grabbed his pants off the floor and slipped them back on, “Yes omega, someone has to feed the children. And I need to talk to Chan.” After his pants were back on he felt something small and hard in his pocket. He stuck his hand in and pulled out the little trinket he had gotten for you earlier in the day. “Though I have something to keep you company.” He handed you the little pink cat. 
You squealed and pulled it up to your face to analyze it with a beaming smile. “How CUTE! Thank you so much!!” 
He just pecked your cheek in response. 
“Take all the time you want here baby. But soon Channie will probably come looking for you.” 
You huffed and laid back on his bed. You were not excited for that conversation. 
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Chan watched as Minho hauled you off in the direction of his car. He had no idea what had occurred but he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He could smell the distress that radiated out of you and it made him wary and irate. 
‘Today was supposed to be a good day, what the fuck happened?’
The alpha stalked off in search of Changbin. He offered people polite hellos and smiles to all the people who greeted him. He was a pillar in this town and needed to act like it especially in public. He found the younger alpha striding away from the games area with a frustrated furrow in his brow. 
“Changbin.” Chan called to him and waved him over. He took notice of how Changbins face fell slightly at the sight of the elder, and he knew it to be a sign that something definitely went wrong here today. Changbin went over to Chan- albeit slowly- and came to stand in front of him. “Hey man, what is going on? I just ran into Min and baby and he said to come find you.”
Changbin bit his lip and blinked back the tears. Chan hadn’t seen him this emotional in a long time so he knew something was up. 
“Hyung, I think I made a big mistake.”
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Minho went down to the kitchen first. He took some meat out from the fridge and set it on the counter to rest then he went to find the alpha. It didn’t take long as Chan was looking for him too. 
“Min.” He beckoned him to his office. Chan's face may have been hard to read but his eyes were steely. Once the door was closed he turned to the beta. “You saw him grab her?” 
Minho nodded, “Yes.” 
“You’re sure?” 
“Yes Chan.” The beta clicked his tongue as he recalled it in his mind. “ He had his filthy hand on her arm and he tried to get her to go with him.” 
“And she was scared?” 
Minho nodded again. “Terrified. She didn’t want anything to do with him. If you had seen it you would have ripped his head off.” 
The alpha growled “If it was me there then there wouldn't be a head left to rip off. I’m surprised you didn’t take a swing yourself.” 
Min huffed, “There were a lot of people around. Though I was ready to put him in the ground if he didn’t back down.” 
“Wooyoung… The name is familiar but I can’t place my finger on it.” Chan started pacing as he racked his brain. 
“Changbin had been talking about him a lot. He was so happy to have made a new friend he wouldn’t shut up about it.” Minho rolled his eyes in distaste, “He didn’t know the guy would turn out to be a piece of shit.” 
“But you knew, didn’t you?” Chan asked. “Bin said you could tell but you didn’t say anything.” 
“I knew there was something funky about him, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt for Changbins sake.” Chan nodded at the betas words. Then he just had to ask. He smirked a little, “So what happened with you and omega after you got home?” He could clearly see the brand new claiming bite on the betas neck. 
“Nothing much, we just worked out our differences.” He gave him a cheeky wink in return though he felt his face heat up. “Anyways, where is Bin? I didn’t hear him come in and usually he’s the first one I hear.” 
Chan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He didn’t come home with us. He’s too ashamed of himself and said he wanted to walk home to think about how clueless he was.” 
“How hard were you on him?” 
“Well I wasn’t sunshine and daisies. But everything I said to him he had already been thinking to himself. He was definitely beating himself up over it.” 
“Did you give him a punishment?” Chan nodded at the question. “What is it? Is it that he can’t touch Y/n like you did with Felix?” 
“Worse.” 
“Worse? What could be worse than that?” 
“I took his car keys and forbade him from going to the gym for a week.” 
“Oh my god he’s never going to come home.”
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You didn’t come out immediately. You wanted to have a few moments to yourself to collect yourself and your thoughts. Eventually you knew you needed to make an appearance. You pulled on one of Minhos shirts that you took from his closet as you exited his room. You missed your boys and wanted to spend some time with them. You padded into the living room to find the four youngest boys sitting on the couches holding beers and laughing with each other. 
Jisung was the first to notice you, yelling when you walked in the room. “There's my baby!” He was obviously drunk already, his eyes having trouble focusing on you as he giggled. “Come here gorgeous.” 
“Hi Ji.” You giggled and walked over to him. He grabbed you and yanked you onto his lap, tickling you more when you laughed. “No no no!” 
“Sungie don’t hog!” Felix whined from his place next to Jisung. “It’s not fair you’ve spent so much time with baby!” 
“Not true! I have barely seen her!” 
“Jisung, you literally had your tongue in her pussy this morning.” Seungmin deadpanned from across the room. “That’s more than we’ve had in days.” 
Jeongin and Felix laughed as Jisung pouted, still holding on to you. You on the other hand were mortified. 
“Don’t talk about me like I’m just a piece of meat for you to consume!” 
That made all four of them burst out laughing at your plight. 
“Aww baby, we know you're not just something to eat.” Felix cooed and unhooked Jisungs arms from you and hauled you onto his own lap. “We just all wanna spend time with you.” Then he leaned into your ear and lowered his voice. “Though, if eating you out was an option right now I’d happily take it. I’m starving.” 
You shivered at his husky and seductive voice in your ear. “Lixie..” 
“But by the way you smell and who’s shirt you're wearing.. Not to mention this new bite mark on your neck- I’d say Min already had a taste today.” 
“Stop it you!” You whined and pushed at his chest while he and the other boys cackled. “Since when are you the dirty one?!” 
“M’ just teasing you baby. I’m happy you and Min made up. Now we can all be one big happy family.” He nuzzled into you. 
At the mention of his name the beta appeared from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. “Quit being literal menaces to society and go set the table. Dinner is done.” 
The three boys around you groaned and got to their feet and shuffled to the dining room. You went to follow but were held back by Felix. “Lix we gotta help.” 
“Nah they got it. Just want a minute alone with my love.” He kissed you tenderly and you reciprocated. This boy was too sweet to refuse him. “Mm I love you baby.” 
“I love you too Lixie.” You kissed him again and he smiled against your lips. 
“Felix! Come help!” 
“Oop! Gotta go baby or he’s gonna cook me next.” 
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You made your way to the table to see Chan and the other boys (minus Felix) all helping and sitting down. Chan smiled at you as you entered the room, reaching a hand out for you. You grabbed on to it and let him pull you into a kiss. 
“Hi baby. Are you feeling better?” 
You nodded, “Yes Channie. Min took good care of me and I feel much better.” 
“Min? We left you with Binnie, didn’t we?” Hyunjin asked, looking at the youngest boy for confirmation. “Were you that sick you had to come home?” 
“Oh uh, well-” You stuttered but were cut off. 
“You moron, don’t mention Changbin right now. There's a reason he’s not here.” Seungmin scoffed, picking up some food and serving it on his plate. 
It was then you noticed there was one empty seat at the table. Changbin had not come home. Chan noticed how forlorn you looked when you saw the empty chair. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. “We are not having this conversation right now. Changbin is not here on his own volition. That is all you need to know right now.” He was using his alpha voice to make his point known and they all nodded in understanding. 
No one brought it up again for the whole of dinner. They all carried on like nothing happened at all. Everyone except you. You couldn’t stop staring at the empty space at the table, and feeling guilty. You wished Changbin was here. You wanted to hold him and hear his loud contagious laughter. Your heart felt heavy with him being gone. Chan noticed your mood- of course he did- but he didn’t want to bring it up any further at the dinner table. 
Instead he waited until the dinner was complete. As soon as you were done eating he stood from his spot at the head of the table and came to your side. He scooped you into his arms, chuckling when you shrieked. “Hush now. I need my omega now.” 
The other guys hooted and hollered at you both as he carried you up the stairs. 
“Channie.. I’m too sensitive down there right now.” You murmured, your face aflame. 
He plopped you on his bed, then sat down next to you. “Oh baby, I know Min probably did some work on your poor kitty huh?” You nodded, and tried to hide your embarrassment. “We do need to talk, though my love. I need to know exactly what happened and what that bastard said to you.” 
As much as you didn’t want too, you knew your alpha needed to hear it from your own lips. So with a deep breath and a lot of tears, you recounted the experience. From start to finish he just let you talk. He was patient when you got choked up at the part about being grabbed, even though you could feel the rage that brewed inside of him at the thought of a man outside our pack laying a finger on you. 
If there was one thing Chan knew for certain, it was that someday soon, Wooyoung would pay for his indecencies. He would make sure of that. 
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Alternate smut scene
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Beta read by my loves @ayejaii and @jehhskz <3
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rubra-wav · 3 months
Note
Hii! Can I get lil sceanarios/oneshots of Vox, Husk, and Lucifer (if you write for him) where they are ranting about something thats bothering them to their crush, so they kiss him to shut them up?
I just love the thought of them being completely caught off guard and all blushy 😚😚
Thanks!
Vox, Husk and Lucifer x crush!reader shutting them up with a kiss
Cw: SFW, gn!reader, fluff
Vox
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- After another public spat with Alastor (albeit, a lot less explosive then last time) Vox sits next to you bitching his head off about it, occasionally glitching and sparking as he emphasises words.
- "I can't believe that old asshole has the audacity to come after my design choices. Mine. I mean, can you believe that! They look great- right (name)?" He doesn't wait for you to respond to his question, just cuts you off as you nod and open your mouth to speak going on with his rant.
- "Exactly! My shit is perfect. It's top of the line. I wish he'd just fuck off to whatever crevice he crawled out of!"
- You inwardly sigh watching him carry on. As much as you loved to just stare at him as he animatedly talked loudly both with his voice and also his hands, it was beginning to get somewhat annoying listening to him repeat the same things over and over again while occasionally seeking reassurance from you.
- You smile slightly, looking at his lips moving as he spoke.
- You'd seen him drink and eat stuff, but how exactly did they work? If you kissed him, would it just be screen? Would he be able to feel it?
- He continued to ramble on, not noticing you had peaced out mentally about 3 minutes ago.
- Not noticing you moving your face closer to him from the corner of his eye.
- "When I get my hands on him, I'm going to beat the shit out of him! Right (name), I'd totally win, wouldn't I-" he turns to you as he asks, and suddenly he's feeling warm lips pressed against his screen over where his mouth is displayed.
- A loud binging sound is heard as Vox momentarily errors at the sudden gesture.
- You pull your lips off of him, and look at him with raised brows. "Could you feel that? All I felt was warm glass." You asked as you watched his monitor glitch and then switch back to his usual face dumbly blinking, blue flush covering his cheeks.
- As Vox gained his bearings, he glared at you. "H-hey!" He cringed at his stutter before clearing his throat. "You can't just do that out of nowhere, Doll! The fuck?"
- Vox would be pissed off and flustered you'd tried to quiet him by kissing him out of nowhere. Who the hell do you think you are essentially telling him to shut up??
- The smaller voice being squashed was yelling about how it liked the feeling of your lips on him and wanted more, though.
Husk
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- The Bartender rarely got to be the one to rant about his issues, so when you showed up as someone he trusted and loved, he took the chance to complain to his heart's content.
- "And that idiotic daddy issue having child has been forcing me to play along with her delusions. I can't just say fuck off as usual because Alastor is ordering me to partake in it for his own sick fucking enjoyment!" Husk growled before taking a long sip of his drink.
- "The sooner I can get out of that shithole, the better. I can't wait for Alastor to get bored of it, I am going crazy having to participate in 'trust exercises' and 'bonding activities'" Husk emphasised each example with mock sweetness, clearly disgusted by it.
- You snorted. "What, has she been making you make arts and crafts or something?" You joked, but then grew silent when he sourly nodded.
- "Yes. She made us do hand painting like some fucking kindergarten class. There's still yellow paint stuck in my fur from where Niffty rolled in it and jumped onto me!" He turned around to show you his back, and sure enough, yellow paint clung to his fur.
- Husk went on complaining about 3 in 1 and how it wouldn't do shit for it, and that's when an impulse took over you suddenly as you watched his fuzzy cheeks move.
- Husk abruptly stopped as you leaned forward to kiss his cheek, instead catching his mouth by accident as he unconsciously turned towards you.
- It only lasts a second as you realise your error, apologising profusely. "Sorry! I meant to get your cheek!"
- Husk stutters in surprise, unable to get out any words for a long while, before coughing and turning away, unable to meet your eyes.
- He brings a hand to touch his lips, flushing darkly under his fur at the memory of your lips on his, the scent of the sweet cocktail he'd made you on your breath as it happened had him feeling dizzy.
- Christ.
- He interrupts you from where you were apologising profusely, kissing you again.
- Liquid courage tells him not to let this opportunity pass, so he doesn't.
Lucifer
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- He was very down on himself about a rather failed day out with his daughter.
- The impression that he was happy and okay had fallen to bits the second he discussed how he'd tried to take Charlie to Loo Loo World only for paparazzi to storm him and lead to a series of unfortunate events ending with Charlie covered in an overly sweet drink and popcorn and having to leave.
- "And then she looked so awkward and uncomfortable when she said goodbye! My daughter hates me!" He exclaimed, burying his face in his hands.
- You shook your head, patting his shoulder and trying to tell him that wasn't true.
- "I'm the world's worst father. I caused all of hell to exist, and for someone like you to get condemned to this horrible place, and after all these mistakes, I still can't do anything right." He looked up at you, dejected, tears in his eyes.
- Your heart hurts seeing it. You just want him to stop talking about himself in such a way.
- So you do the only thing you can properly think of on the spot.
- "I'm just a failur-hff!" he hums loudly in surprise as his face is gripped, and suddenly your lips are on his.
- As he comprehends what's happening, tears well up in his eyes alongside his now pounding heart as years of him not being touched like this weigh on him all at once. It felt wonderful to be held and kissed by someone - let alone you.
- You pull away after a short time, hands gently brushing across his now even more overly warm cheeks.
- "Don't say that about yourself. You aren't a failure, Luci." You softly say. "Tell Charlie you're sorry and arrange a more private activity with her. She's your daughter, she will forgive you." Lucifer slowly nods against your hands.
- He doesn't say anything, mouth slightly parted as he looks at you with wide, lovesick eyes as his mind races alongside his heart. You're so warm.
- His hands come to rest atop your's, keeping them against his cheeks as his eyes flutter shut, basking in your touch.
- "Please just let us stay like this for a little longer." He breathily whispers. His face crumples as you nod and invite him to come closer into your arms.
- The king of hell slumps against you, craving but still hesitant to further request your touch.
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Masterlist
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komaniyaexpress · 9 months
Text
— is this .. me?! .. ♪
sagau — they find a piece of artwork made by the creator; of .. them.
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— featuring furina, wanderer, freminet, and neuvillette .. ♪
cw. none wc. 200-400 ea.
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furina
it goes without saying .. furina is ecstatic. i mean.. why wouldn’t she be? she wouldn’t make this known, however, because “of course you’re going to wish to capture my enthralling beauty on paper — it’s only fair when faced with such divine radiance!” inside.. she’s a mess. her widened eyes flit over every tiny detail, every little stroke of the pen or paintbrush. “enthralling beauty”, she says, “divine radiance”, she says — but is she truly talking about herself or the way you interpreted her? never in all the centuries she’d been alive would she admit this, but she couldn’t help but feel as if you had made her look much more ethereal than she truly was. she does make it known that she likes it, though. when you turn away from her and murmur something about how you’re not the most proud of this particular piece, she scoffs indignantly. “what? how— ugh, how could you ever say such a thing? do you dare question my judgement?!” she leans back against the couch, hardly able to focus on the taste of the small pastry half-eaten in her hand. she’s incredibly grateful it’s only you two alone, because she has an entirely embarrassing blush upon her face as she chews.
wanderer
“.. seriously?” he kind of just.. glares at it. i’m sorry, but i don’t really know what you were expecting. depending on the kind of mood he’s in, he’ll either simply cast it aside without a second glance or attempt to mockingly chew you out over it. it doesn’t matter whether he actually likes it or not; he is not going to let you live it down. he’s not amused, but i can’t really imagine him actually getting upset about it either. he’ll scoff, maybe roll his eyes if he’s feeling generous enough, then go about his day without another thought to it. even with his nonchalant, near-annoyed demeanor over the whole thing, when you’ve left and he’s alone — he looks for it again and stares at it like he didn’t get to before. as his eyes travel the lines that form a quite accurate depiction of his visage — implying you spent a lot of time looking at him — he can’t help but wonder why, of all people, you chose him as your muse. he does.. appreciate the sentiment, though, even if he’ll never voice it. he catches himself before he spirals. it doesn’t matter, he reminds himself. with a huff, he sets it down again and crosses his arms, trying to ignore the fact it does indeed make him feel.
freminet
if you were expecting anything other than freminet being an absolute mess.. you’d be sorely mistaken. of course, he’s not upset at all. he’s just.. very, very embarrassed. he loves your art, he does. he doesn’t want you to misconstrue this, and makes sure you know it’s not your problem, but his own. make sure to reassure him. the moment he lays his eyes upon it, it’s evident; his eyes widen almost comically, and, suddenly, he has the surely inexplicable urge to run for his life. that wouldn’t be fair to you, though, so he bites it back and forces himself to stay put. the gears whir in his mind like he’s a piece of the machinery he holds so dear. he doesn’t know how to thank you — should he thank you? he doesn’t know what to say at all, more like. he clears his throat, unable to get any words out; his mouth goes dry and his heart practically beats out of his chest, all the while he’s looking just as frozen in time as your rendition of him. he lets out an audible sigh of relief when you reassure him that he doesn’t need to speak. he can’t handle you when you stare at him like this, and asks if you’d be okay with him putting on his diving helmet. once you’ve given him your permission — which you reiterate he doesn’t need — he quickly places it over his head, letting out a soft sigh of relief when you can no longer see his face. his gaze doesn’t leave the art, not for a moment. he stands still and stares at it, unable to tear his eyes away from the lines that, somehow, paints a clear picture of.. him. that you made. he still does not make any move to talk, and he’s very glad that you’re so understanding. eventually, he murmurs an apology, and through the lump in his throat, reassures you that (if there was ever any doubt), he likes it.
neuvillette
it was raining. it had been raining all day. naturally, this worried you, and your first thought was to check up on neuvillette. exhausted yet unchanging, neuvillette sifted through his paperwork without taking a single break to rest. however, all things must, and eventually, his tire overcame him — letting out a sigh, he placed his palm upon his forehead and leaned into it, his eyes fluttering closed. it took him a moment to open them again, but when he finally did.. after such a long day, eyes sore with the strain of reading fine print jammed together so thickly the pages looked more inky than ivory, the last thing he expected was to see was a piece of blank paper on his desk. curious, he picks it up and flips it over, assuming it to be more writing on the other side — only to be met with.. himself, staring right back at him. the neuvillette now is slightly slouched over, eyes drooping with the weight of an unrelenting week. he’s unable to see his true reflection — in a mirror or water, not a near-perfect version of him on paper — so he couldn’t really tell, but even so, he can’t help but feel as if this version of him must appear much more composed. he pushes the thought away, stares at the piece a bit closer, and he eases a bit. not only was it a splendid break to the monotony of monochromatic paperwork, it was made by you. it’s now that you walk into the room. in a split second, you realize what he’s holding. you blink. he smiles, gentle and soft. the rain stops pouring.
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1K notes · View notes
arminsumi · 10 months
Note
hellooo to you, i’d like a suguru pls, post premature death suguru meeting a ‘monkey’ that he falls in love with, hence he have another reflection.. maybe jujutsu sorcerers’ job is indeed to protect them..
CHANGE OF HEART.
𝐆. 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 — 夏油傑 ⋅ fem reader
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NOTE: idk how 3.4k words happened 🤷‍♀️ i just got rlly into this idea ty for your requesttt!! and i'm so sorry if u didn't want smut but the scene kinda just happened 😭 it's pretty vanilla tho i think?? i put a little forewarning before the scene just in case u strictly don't want to read it
🔞 mdni / 18+ content
SUMMARY — Meeting you challenges the beliefs he thought he was so sure of. Unexpectedly falling in love with a 'monkey' causes Geto Suguru to have a change of heart.
WARNINGS — not proofread 😵‍💫 angst, 1 smut scene, lmk if i have missed a warning thank u
SMUT WARNINGS — solo scene in the shower, Geto fantasizing about you (bj, creampies)
WORDCOUNT ≈ 3.4k
PLAY ME ♪ black beauty
🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !
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A question that springs to Geto Suguru’s mind when he meets you is where have you been all my life? Because if he would have met you sooner, his beliefs wouldn’t have solidified.
You’re talking animatedly about your passions over a steaming beverage, sitting opposite this dark-haired man. His features are brooding and he’s rather unapproachable, or so he thinks – but you find gentleness and calmness in his face; the way his brows have a subtle, sad arch to them, the way the sharpness of his eyes contrasts beautifully to the softness of his cheeks. He’s always loathed his beady eyes and babyish cheeks, so it’s a pleasant shock to hear you flippantly compliment them.
“Why did you come to sit with me?” he asks curiously, fingertip caressing the rim of the ceramic coffee cup.
You think for a second, then speak your mind, “You looked approachable.”
Such an unexpected response. He’s intrigued. How could you possibly think he is approachable? He’s sure that if you’d known what he’s done, you’d never say that – you’d never sit for coffee with him at this cafe.
“Am I?” he tilts his head at you in response, “That’s a first. Lots of people in my life have told me that I’m unapproachable. And they avoid me.”
“How could anyone avoid you! You’re very – well, sorry if this sounds too forward – but you’re very alluring.”
Suguru arches his brow. Another unexpected response. You’re captivating him the more you speak.
“Thank you.” He responds earnestly, cool soft voice wafting through your chest, “Though that is quite forward.”
He wonders if his subtle teasing tone gets through to you. Your coy smile tells him that it did. He seems very captivated now, his abyssal black eyes are absorbing your features like they’re an artful masterpiece, like an Edo period piece of work that one can’t stop looking at admiringly.
Just when he feels his intrigue and curiosity for you reach its peak, he recoils; he completely shells himself, as if he was ashamed to have let himself become to enraptured by one of them.
There’s a long silence, you don’t notice that his opinion of you has shifted, you don’t even notice the slight scowl tugging at the corners of his lips. Because he masks it well.
“I have to be somewhere.” He excuses vaguely – it’s not uncommon to hear that from someone, so you don’t think much of it.
When talking with you for the past two hours, he seemed so appreciative that you sat with him and held good conversation, so you expected someone as direct as him to voice his thanks. A small thanks for having coffee with me, or a flippant thanks for sitting with me – nothing of the sort comes out of his mouth as he stands to leave.
You notice he only drank a sip of his black coffee this whole time. He must have been very captivated indeed, to not even enjoy his beverage.
It would have been easier to keep thoughts of you at bay had you not said goodbye to him as he left. Hearing your voice chime in his ear casts a spell over his mind.
He walks with his hands sunk deep in his pockets and heads to the subway station. Hesitant footsteps slow at the street where he said his last goodbye to his best friend just a few days ago. For a fleeting moment, Suguru is grateful for the resurgence of that tragic memory, because at least it drove you out of his mind.
But it is indeed just a fleeting moment, because once he descends into the subway station, his mind is refilled with thoughts of you. Your hair color. Your skin color. Your eye color. The clothes you wore. The scent lingering on them. The way you talked. How you spoke to him kindlier than anyone from the world outside Jujutsu High ever has. All he’s known before you is coldness and apprehensiveness.
He wonders, as he boards the train, if you would behave differently knowing that he’s a sorcerer. Knowing that he sees things as morbid as curses with his bare eyes. Knowing that he’s laid waste to a village of people. Knowing that he’s one of the strongest people in the world, and probably the strongest you’ll ever meet in your lifetime – unless you happen to come across Gojo Satoru someday.
He could kill you with a flick of his wrist if he wanted to.
As the train doors shudder shut behind him and he holds onto the dangling handles, he mutters a small “damn it…” under his breath. Because behind those eyes are waning beliefs, ones he was so sure about before you came along.
Suguru’s still thinking about you when he boards off the train and returns home to his apartment at nightfall. The rustling of the key in the door stirs the attention of his two little girls, and once it swings open, they burst with excitement at his arrival.
“We missed you!” they say almost in perfect harmony together.
“Missed you too, angels. Let’s get dinner cooking, hm? Mimiko, why do you have paint all over your cheeks? Ah – Nanako, no more painting for you. Yes, I’m making the rules. Treat your sister nicely and you can paint again.”
Suguru’s mind is temporarily cleared of you – but only temporarily, while he’s scrambling for ingredients around the tiny kitchen and patiently listening to childish chitchat. “No jumping in the kitchen – here, I’ll put you on the countertop – and uppp you go – stay there – Nanako, please don’t eat raw butter, it’s not funny. Give it here. Will you help me please?”
Soon there’s a simmering pot of food on the kotatsu table. There’s a storm coming, the girls cling to Suguru’s legs when he’s doing the dishes. “It’s just a thunderstorm coming, nothing to be afraid of, okay? Yes, I’ll read you to sleep. Nanako, please don’t bite my leg, it’s not funny – Mimiko don’t imitate your sister. Ah you two…”
He has the voice of a stressed-out father.
Droplets of soapy water drip off plates in the drying rack. Thunder rumbles outside the window. The wind swerving into the apartment’s living room feels cold when Suguru emerges from the girl’s bedroom – he heaves a sigh of relief knowing that they ate well and fell asleep soundly.
And it’s so cold in that apartment now.
She would be the warmth in the room.
It’s quiet, too.
Her voice would carry through this hallway like a serenade.
Suguru creeps into the shower, tripping on something the kids left laying around on his way to the bathroom.
⚠️ smut scene in case u want to skip
The drone of shower water fills his ears, he slowly peels off his sweater, giving a glance at the reflection of his physique in the body-length mirror. He’s never looked at his body with so much thought before.
Would she caress my chest like this?
One foot enters the shower, another followers. The door shuts and the glass steams up.
Does her mouth feel as soft as the words that come out of it?
He lets out a low groan. Rivulets of water run down his body.
She’d feel better than my hand. She’d take care of me.
Suguru’s hands trace up his chest and neck, his mind imagining it as your hand – he’s mimicking his imagination, picturing how sensual and gentle your touch would be. Your fingers wouldn’t be calloused like his, they’re small.
He lets himself get completely lost in a fantasy of you and him standing together under the showerhead, bodies close and heating up together. Without realizing, he’s lathering up his body with soap with slow, sensual movements. His hand grazes over his cock, it’s standing up and jumping a little at the thought of your face. Before he knows it, he’s slowly pumping his cock and tilting his head off to the side in pleasure.
Pretty sultry eyes flutter shut and his tip twitches. He squeezes and releases, imagining how you’d tease around. Or maybe you were inexperienced – now that thought gets him excited, it leads his fantasy into another direction. If he could have one night with you, he’d show you exactly what he likes and how he wants you to pleasure him. Maybe one night would turn into multiple nights, or entire weekends spent with him.
He lets out a shaky breath and presses on palm flat against the shower’s tile wall, bowing his head, lips parted with gentle, breathy moans escaping them – but both the sounds of the rainstorm and the shower drown them out.
A murky idea of what you look like naked and wet in the shower is hot on his mind. He rolls his thumb over the tip of his cock, leaving a small trail of soapy bubbles. His shaft’s gotten all lathered up, the sound of squelching barely reaching his ears. It makes him think of how you’d sound when he’s pumping his cock inside of you.
Would you be able to take it all? He looks down at it and contemplates that. How tight would you be? Would he cum boyishly soon if he sunk inside your gummy walls? If he went faster like this, would you become a mess underneath him? Would you want him to cum inside?
He’s a simple man when he’s so close to orgasming right there in his shower, the image of you taking his creampie makes him orgasm.
There’s a gentle rumble of thunder that covers up a loud moan that escapes his throat. He’s never moaned like that before. And he’s never cum so hard before, either – usually it’s a few watery shots of cum, not thick white ropes like this.
Does he feel guilty when cleaning his cum up the shower wall? A little bit.
“Damn it…” he mutters disappointedly.
⚠️ smut scene over
When he wraps a towel around his waist and looks into the mirror at his long hair, he wonders how you ever thought he looked approachable. If anything, he looked intimidating and cold.
That long shower fantasy of you only temporarily sates his mind. Letting his body fall into his bed with a soft thump, he sinks into the mattress. He rolled onto his side and started thinking of you again. This time, he replays everything that happened in those two hours at the café. He replays parts of the conversation like it was his favorite movie, until he fell asleep.
“You’re very alluring.” He thought of those words you said to him.
A subtle smile tugged at his lips.
***
Days pass. Suguru purposefully strides past the café and takes a glimpse into the windows to check if you’re there. When you’re not, he frowns and keeps walking. When you are, his eyes light up ever so slightly and his feet seem to carry him over to you – even though his mind screams at him to stop. This is madness. You’re supposed to be the very thing he hates, but he can’t bring himself to.
Because you’re dreamy. Or at least that’s the effect you have on him.
Each time he sees you at the café, he realizes more and more how weak and clumsy you are. Slowly, those traits become endearing to him. It irks him to feel this growing compulsion to protect you.
The tide of his mind completely turns over when he walks you home one day. A little curse had been clinging to your arm, cruelly giggling with its morbid little face.
How dare you? He eyes it out and watches you obliviously massage your arm, trying to alleviate the tension.
Suguru could have made two possible decisions; exorcise it or leave it. In other words, turn back on his beliefs or recede back into them completely, never to reemerge.
You massage your arm again, and at the moment you turn away from your apartment’s door, Suguru engulfs you in a very random, very soft hug. Widening your eyes, you’re unsure how to reciprocate for a moment. You hear him swallow.
Oh, is he nervous to be hugging me? Does he have a boyish crush on me? That’s unexpected of a mature man like him.
That’s what you’re obliviously thinking.
Suguru stifles a sigh. Part of him wishes you never hugged him back. But he can’t deny the rush he feels through his veins. Your warm, embrace is something he never knew he needed so badly until he got it.
That moment sets him on fire, he feels electric when he walks back home.
“Damn it…” he mutters with a small smirk playing at his lips – one that’s very similar to how he used to smirk with Satoru.
***
Months pass, and you start regularly visiting each other’s apartments. Tokyo is cramped, the word spacious never crosses your mind when you walk into someone else’s home. But Suguru’s apartment felt smaller than the others, because he had two balls of energy running around like chaotic demons. Lovably chaotic demons. Two twin girls, they’re celebrating their fifth birthday and you’re in the kitchen with Suguru baking a cake for them. It was your idea. And though you had to practically drag Suguru by the arm to get him to bake a cake, he was very willing to help out.
Nanako keeps trying to spook you, and you pretend to die of a heart attack – it makes her giggle. Mimiko pretends to be a spider crawling up your back, you also pretend to be scared – and she responds with a cheeky “I’m not actually a spider, I fooled you!”
“Girls, please give Y/n and I some alone time.” Suguru tells them after they become a bit much. Adults can only deal with so much, some relaxation is eagerly sought after.
“Is Y/n gonna be our mommy?” Nanako asks before leaving the kitchen. Her and Mimiko both look at you two expectantly.
Suguru is completely caught off guard by this question, but you laugh.
“Let us be, Nanako.” He speaks without composure, so shaken up and embarrassed. When was the last time he blushed to boyishly?
The twins scamper out the kitchen and into their own little kid’s world, roaming the house as if it was full of secrets they had to discover.
“Sorry, they’re quite outspoken for their ages.” Suguru refuses to look at you anymore, his heart is thumping in his chest. What if you wanted to be their mom? It’s a cute thought that occupies his mind as he talks to you.
“They’re the sweetest.” You sigh adoringly, “Really, the sweetest. It reminds me, had a friend once who ran a kindergarten, and I stood in for her one spring while she was on sick leave. There was this very sweet little boy who followed me around like a puppy. Working there for a little while made me realize how much I want to have kids and a family.” You talk while mixing ingredients into a bowl, stirring up the batter until it’s creamy and smooth.
Suguru’s listening attentively. He’s watching your gentle movements interestedly. Were you gentler in his presence? He wonders what you’re like when you’re annoyed. When you wake up, how cute is your bleary-eyed face?
“You’re good with kids.” Suguru compliments.
“Thank you.” You smile a bit bashfully. “Though, now that I think about it, there was also this kid at that kindergarten that would try to bite me all the time. An absolute menace.”
Suguru lets out a laughing breath through his nose.
“Yeah, Nanako has tried to bite Mimiko many times. The first time it happened, she screamed herself blue and I had absolutely no idea what to do.” Suguru spoke, “By the way, d’you need help – ? M’kay, if you say so. I’m right here. Anyways… she bit her so hard it left a bite mark.”
“Oh yeah, I know what you’re talking about, alright. That sucker left a bite mark on my thigh – I’ve still got the scar.” You tell him.
Suguru’s mind lights up when you so flippantly mention your thigh. He can’t help himself. He’s starting to want more, his whole body craves proximity – that’s why, while you put the cake in the oven, he discretely inches closer to where you stand. Arms crossed over his broad chest, hair up in a neat bun – he only realized just then how you have such a positive effect on him. He hadn’t put such deep care into his appearance since before…
“Suguru? Are you okay?”
“Huh? Yeah. Just thinking.”
“You must have a lot to be thinking about. Your face looks so severe… I want to knead out the severity.” You tease.
He loves the way you speak. He loves the subtle playful teasing you do every now and then, it shows him that you’re getting comfortable around him like he is around you.
“Sorry. I’m just a brooding type.” He smirks at you, shifting his body so that he leans comfortably against the counter.
“What are you brooding on?” you ask him curiously.
It makes his heart lurch that you care, that you’re genuinely curious about what’s going on behind those abyssal black eyes of his.
“I don’t want to bring down the mood.”
“You won’t bring down the mood. What’s on your mind? I’m not the best at advice… in fact I’m shit, but I’m a good listener… so indulge me.” You encourage him, attempting to hop up on the kitchen countertop to sit comfortably.
His heart feels stabbed and twisted all of a sudden. But he smirks, sees you struggling to climb a countertop, and comes to help you. Big hands grab at the back of your thighs as he leans down, cheek brushing with your cheek for a moment, before he hoists you up himself.
“Thank you.” You smile at him, veiling your nervousness.
His body feels hotter after he pulls away. But he acts coolly, resuming his nonchalant pose of leaning against the countertop with crossed arms.
“I fell out with an old friend.” He begins simply. It’s laughable, saying that out loud – you have no idea of the severity, of the drama. “We were like yin and yang.” He desperately tries to add a layer of depth to give you a better picture.
“Did something happen between the two of you?” you inquire.
Suguru thinks back on that day. “Yeah. We had a disagreement. And… I think… I’ve finally started to regret walking away from him.” He admits.
That admittance unexpectedly makes his throat constrict and his eyes line with tears. He blinks them away quickly.
“Why did you walk away?” you tilt your head.
I wonder what she’d think if I told her every detail.
“We have differing beliefs about… something. I can’t describe it sensibly to you.”
You look at him interestedly. “Beliefs? Like about religion?”
“I guess kind of like that…? Not religion, but something as serious as that.”
“If you regret walking away from him,” you begin, speaking your train of thought, “why don’t you come back to him and tell him that? Or would that be a bad idea? I don’t know… it just seems like you miss whoever this person is.”
You render him speechless and he looks at you like you just unravelled a secret part of him that no one had seen before.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – ”
“Thank you. I needed to hear that. I think I’ll… uh, give him a call sometime and see him for coffee.” Suguru says decidedly.
Was he really going to do that? Before meeting you, he couldn’t fathom facing Satoru again. It was a mortifying idea. He crushed his best friend’s spirit, how could he face him again?
“Sounds good… you could meet him at the café we go to.” You say.
Suguru’s half lost in thought and staring at the kitchen floor tiles. “Yeah… hey, can I ask you a personal question?”
“Absolutely.”
He chokes up a bit, darting his eyes around, as if searching carefully for his words. When he looks at you, he completely forgets what he was going to ask. His heart is beating like he was just about to confess to his high school sweetheart.
Suguru takes a deep inhale.
“I think the cake is burning.”
“Oh shit!”
***
Satoru scoffs bitterly over his beverage.
“I’m serious, Satoru.”
A pair of striking blue eyes meet abyssal black ones.
“What changed your mind...?” Satoru comments in a softer tone after hearing his old friend call his name so tenderly.
“Something good happened.” Suguru subtly smiles, the memory of meeting you in this same café flashing across his mind.
A silence comes over them, and slowly the tension works out of their air, an understanding replacing it.
“Maybe we are supposed to protect them, after all… damn monkeys, look at ‘em so helpless.” Suguru chuckles, half-joking as he watches a baby start to cry in its mothers arms on the street outside.
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© 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄.
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bixels · 18 days
Note
I just saw one of your fave games is What remains of Edith Finch and I’m so happy! I feel like its a lesser known game but i loved playing through it. I’m so happy to know more than just my small friend group know about this game!
Sorry this isn’t a question. Also want to say that you’re art is amazing and the development of the designs is so interesting to see. Also the way you draw intimate scenes have so much emotion to them. I love the Aj and rarity kissing comic so much, you can just feel their love for each other ;w;
Thank you so much!
I highly, highly, highly recommend What Remains of Edith Finch to anyone interested in narrative game experiences/"walking simulators." It's one of those games that was handcrafted with nothing but love. Every room you explore is just... real. The way the light flows in and makes the colors of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms glow. Playing the game is like walking through your childhood home as an adult and seeing how the dust clings to everything you once touched. Also genius-level gameplay mechanics, ones that can make you completely empathetic with the character you're embodying or feel completely complacent in their tragedy. It's really not fair to call it a walking simulator because it's so much more and so much smarter than that.Everyone talks about the fish one.
The theme of death and memory and storytelling and the burden of invisible trauma and self-fulfilling prophecies is so affecting too. The ending made me cry.
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ahundredtimesover · 6 months
Text
I Want You to Stay (02) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 11.9k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
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A/N: Hiii really touched with all the love for this story! I don’t know about you but this hits harder with all the boys away and we’re missing them so badly. But we’ve got this! 💕 But thank you thank you for all the messages (sorry I can’t get to each one!) and the interest and excitement. Hope you enjoy this one ☺️
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
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Despite hoping that he wouldn’t, Jungkook, in fact, pushes you further away on his second day on the job. 
To his defense, it was partly your fault. You smiled at him last night - perhaps due to your delicious dinner that you didn’t even know was from him - and it disarmed him. 
The words you uttered after just flew over his head and he just nodded, too out of it to confirm what you’d said. It probably had something to do about you not coming to his penthouse, because it’s Tuesday morning and you’re still not here. He’d expected that like yesterday, you'd prepare his breakfast, and after all that transpired, debrief after yesterday’s meetings and discuss the next steps. That was his routine with Lucas, and for all the things that you seemed to know and do right - from his room design, the doneness of his eggs, and his coffee - this was a miss. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be assisting me from the start of the day?” Jungkook says over the phone, his tone sounding annoyed. “I’ve been waiting for you since 6:30.”
Your heart drops at his words, the memory from last night of him agreeing to you sticking to the same schedule you had with Hoseok suddenly feeling like some made up scenario. You remember telling Jungkook that you go straight to the office the rest of the week; you’d only go to Hoseok’s house on Mondays to prepare his clothes and brief him because he’s able to manage from Tuesday onwards. Your new boss, for some reason, perhaps misheard your question. And now you’re the one in trouble. 
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bring yourself to say, your voice in a panic because regardless of who’s in the wrong, making him wait is not a good start to his day nor yours, and especially not to your already rocky relationship. “I can get a cab then head to you.”
“So you want me to wait for you some more?” He chides, his dry laugh making you want to throw your phone just so you won’t hear his voice anymore. “Just stay wherever you are, but I want the meeting minutes from yesterday ready when I get there since you’re not here to go over them with me.”
Jungkook hangs up and your head thumping on your desk is immediate. It’s barely the start of the day and you already want to go back home and probably never come back. 
You left the office at 9 last night, knowing you were too exhausted to continue working on the annotated documents, and then got soaked in the rain on your way home. You planned on coming to work early - given that your boss didn’t require you to go to his penthouse, a claim you stand by - so you can continue, but now he wants the meeting minutes in an hour, and that isn’t usually due until three days later. 
Neglecting the sandwich you planned on eating for breakfast, you work on your notes from the first meeting and then move on to the next. Every footstep you hear makes you anxious, and you breathe a sigh of relief every time you find out it’s not him. Every minute counts and you’re thankful for each one. Until, of course, you run out of it. 
“Send them to me now and meet me in my office,” his voice echoes through the hallway that leads to his room. 
Jungkook walks straight past you and doesn’t even give you a look.
“Yes, sir,” you squeak, quickly sending the email then scurrying to where he is. 
You find him seated on his chair, his leg crossed over the other one as he goes through the notes on his iPad, his furrowed eyebrows making you sweat in worry. He doesn’t seem pleased. But from what you’ve witnessed so far, you doubt there’s much that pleases him.
He encircles words and scribbles on the sides, mumbling “incomplete,” “what does this mean,” and “this is not what I said.”
Jungkook sets the device on his desk and groans. He turns to you with a hard glare, and you clearly see just how displeased he is. Not that you have any defense - it’s your job to do what he asked in a manner that’s up to his standards - but you already felt discouraged in the morning, and your meal skipping caused you to lose focus in the afternoon, resulting in your less than satisfactory documentation of the meeting.
“Ms. Cho, do you know the value of these documents? And why I require them to be comprehensive and done on time?”
“Uh, ye-yes, sir,” you drag out.
“Why?”
It’s too early for this, you think to yourself. Clearly you know why they’re important; you’re just too tired to articulate the reasons to him. But you try, as the words form in your head. You’re about to say them when he stands from his chair and walks towards his desk, leans on the edge and then intently looks at you, as if he’s judging even the way you’re breathing or standing. And you’d probably fail, given how your body seems to cower in his presence. 
“Because decisions are made through them,” he says, drowning out your thoughts with his stern voice. “I attend numerous meetings everyday. Decision points can be buried in the discussions unless they’re documented properly. And even when they are, they’re not actioned upon immediately unless I have access to them and unless they’ve been processed and verified. I don’t leave those conference rooms and forget about what took place. They stay in my head, that’s why I ask you to write them down, and that’s why I require you to meet me first thing in the morning so that I can process them with you, and let those points guide me for the rest of the week.”
His glare continues, so does his voice getting louder. “My job isn’t just to sit around and listen to people. I make decisions. And it’s your job to make sure I have all the correct information to make them.”
“I… I understand, sir. And I… I apologize for the oversight,” you stutter, still unable to look at him. “But about this morning, uh… you, uh last night, I—”
“Was there an explicit statement from me about not having you come in the morning?”
“No, sir.”
He lets the silence draw out, perhaps to let your own words sink in. He does have a point. You stand by your claim that you’d asked, and he nodded, but you should also know that such gestures aren’t clear responses, and that’s on you to make sure that you’re both on the same page. 
“I’m sorry, sir,” you say with conviction. “I made an assumption when I should have clarified. And even then, it’s your first week as Vice President. I should be assisting you in all the ways I can.”
Jungkook watches your form, hands clasped together with your nails sinking into your skin. Your head is bowed down, unable or unwilling to look at him this whole time. He knows he’s at fault, too, but he’d never admit it; he’s not exactly the type to do that. 
You stand there in submission and a part of him wants to apologize, but that’s not the type of weakness he wants to show, not when he needs to establish authority and more importantly, distance.
“I require Lucas to still come every morning because that’s the only time we can debrief about the previous day’s activities,” he says, making his voice calmer now. “We go through the minutes, clarify things, finalize them, and then disseminate so that people don’t forget. Teams collaborate effectively when there’s accountability and when timelines are adhered to. It’s my job to make sure they comply. And that means it’s your job, too. I don’t have to remind you of your roles now do I, Ms. Cho?”
“No, sir,” you respond, finding the strength in you to finally look at him, his hardened stare still unnerving you. 
He uncrosses his arms and walks back to his seat. “My cousin and I work very differently from each other. It’s on you to adjust.” 
“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in acknowledgment. “I’ll be at your apartment at 6:30 every morning and I’ll do better with my documentation and preparation of all the files.”
Jungkook just hums then proceeds to work on something on his desktop, which you take as your cue to leave. You bow again and excuse yourself, but his voice stops you as you open the door.
“Push back this morning’s meeting to 9:00,” he says. “And make sure you have something to eat. I can’t have you be unfocused again like yesterday.”
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You survive the rest of Tuesday. You eat snacks rather than proper meals, and you find that that helps you more with time and focus. The meetings for that day are less intense, but with you still figuring out exactly how Jungkook wants the documents prepared, you stay up after hours and work on them for the next day, with you constantly going over the recording to make sure that you documented everything correctly. 
You arrive at his penthouse at 6:30 every morning during the week. You make his breakfast while he takes a shower, which is really whatever’s in his fridge or pantry. He doesn’t seem to mind what you prepare for him, and you’re glad that he doesn’t find any more severe reasons to dislike you. There’s still the occasional correction of your minutes, but you chalk it up to him just being too particular. There are terms he uses that you’re not familiar with; he’s an architect by training after all.
Perhaps it’s why he’s as specific and detail-oriented as he is, and more visual than anything. Hoseok is a perfectionist like him, but the older man has everything organized in his head and then executes them, whereas Jungkook needs them all laid out before him. Whether it’s about a policy, a process, and especially a design, he makes sure they’re drawn out, and the way they all just make sense to him is immediate. 
You suppose that’s what he’s used to. Plans need representation beyond words; he doesn’t seem to be the type to use much of them, in fact, unless he’s correcting you. But that’s what you’ve noticed. At some points during the meeting, he’d draw something on his iPad and send it to you; you both discuss it the next morning, with you finding the words for it for proper documentation. 
But his mind doesn’t seem to stop, as you catch him on the way to work sometimes doodling some design on this leather notebook that he carries with him everywhere. Whether it’s the Arts Center or something else, you’re not sure, but you know that any moment he pulls it out, he’d spend a good amount of time on it before getting out of the car.
He remains distant and disengaged as you expect him to be. Unlike Hoseok who asks you how your evening went or how the trip to his house was, Jungkook doesn’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern work. And so when he isn’t talking about it, there’s just silence - whether in the car, in the elevator, or the walk to his room. There’s none of the laughter or the questions about how you’re coping with all your tasks, and there’s definitely nothing about his life that he shares. Not that you thought he would, but the difference with your old boss is striking, as you think of the times when Hoseok happily talked about the salsa studio he was at with A-yeong over the weekend or the movie they watched together the night before.
The comparisons remain in your head throughout the week. You try to focus on your responsibilities but you realize that you haven’t properly moved on from the culture and environment that you used to enjoy when Hoseok was still leading the team, and that has affected your work in obvious ways, and especially your approach to it. 
There’s anxiety with every task that Jungkook asks of you, even if they’re things you’ve done so many times in your three years as the VP’s assistant. You find yourself constantly clarifying his instructions, prompting him to question your ability to take them. You feel like he’ll be displeased regardless of what your output is, yet you still end up spending too much time going over files that you forget to eat or clock out too late. You don’t get proper sleep either, nervous about what the next day will bring. You second-guess yourself constantly, and all the confidence you built in all your time here doesn’t seem to have as strong of a foundation as you thought. 
So when you make another mistake the following Tuesday, whatever belief in yourself that you have left dissipates. 
“Ms. Cho, where is the folder?” Jungkook asks, his gaze hardening the longer you look at him without a word. 
You’re currently at a restaurant, given that your boss has a meeting with Mr. Hu, the owner of the company that produces quality materials that Jungkook wants for the Arts Center. This was scheduled just yesterday, which is also when he’d asked you to put together the rough draft plans and design that he worked on last weekend. The project is in its early stages but the plans are clear to Jungkook and he wants to secure this deal early on, especially with Mr. Hu leaving the country for a few weeks. 
You finalized this last night and left it on your desk along with the portfolios that Yoongi and the support team have been taking from your shelf. Given the week you’ve had - lack of sleep and frustration more than anything - you rushed to get ready and mistakenly took a portfolio and not the folder meant for this meeting.
“I… I’m so sorry, sir, but I seem to have taken the wrong files,” you stutter, eyes on the ground as you clutch the portfolio for support. “They… they were on my desk along with others and I left them in the office.”
There’s a long pause before Jungkook speaks, the irritation clear in his voice.
“Do you at least have a soft copy?”
“It’s on a USB, sir,” you reply, nervously raising your head. “I left it as well.”
You try your hardest not to look at him, even if it seems like he wants you to, just so you can see the burning way he does it. Because you feel him huffing, you can see how he’s clenching his fists as he controls what he’s feeling, which is definitely anger towards your stupid mistake. 
Jungkook clears his throat before turning back to the man seated across from him, his voice apologetic as he explains that you weren’t able to bring it. 
“Ah, what a shame,” Mr. Hu says, judgingly glancing at you. “I was really looking forward to seeing your plans, Jungkook. I could’ve advised my people to check on the materials you want this early.”
“I’m really sorry,” Jungkook says. “Perhaps I can email them over to you?”
“Oh don’t bother, I’ll be chasing the Italian sun for the next three weeks,” the older man chuckles. “I’ll see you when I get back. By then, I hope you and your assistant have sorted things out and could give me actual information about what you want.”
“We will, I assure you,” Jungkook says, before saying goodbye to him.
He walks past you and you follow, with no words said as you both wait for the car and enter. 
You can hear him panting, and you know enough that's due to an extreme emotion he can’t express. He won’t look at or say anything to you, and that feels more terrifying. 
His phone rings, and not only does the person on the other line talk about what just happened, you happen to hear it, too.
“Hey, I heard what happened with the big boss,” the man says. “Did you really go to the meeting unprepared?”
“It wasn’t me, but yeah, what a mess,” Jungkook huffs, his head leaning back on the chair, his eyes closed as he calms himself down. “What did he say? Is he angry?”
“Nah. You’re a Jeon; he can’t be. He was just a bit annoyed because he was supposed to have a meeting with another client but he chose to see you.”
“Fuck. What an embarrassment,” Jungkook groans.
“Well, he does have high praises for your father.”
“And this is his first time working with me. My dad’s gonna hear about it and give me shit for it.”
“Just another normal day at the office, right?” The man laughs. “So, was it your assistant that screwed up?”
Jungkook hums his yes, knowing you’re two seats away from him, although he’s unsure if you can hear their conversation. For your sake, he hopes you can’t.
“See? This is why you should’ve taken Lucas! That guy was always two steps ahead of you.”
“That’s what I said, but when are my requests ever granted? Never. Another normal day at the office, huh?”
“If she’s pretty, maybe you can forgive them and just suffer through her incompetence,” the man laughs again. “I mean, she’s got to have some redeeming quality somehow. If she doesn’t, that just sucks for you.”
“You really enjoy making fun of my misfortunes, huh?” Jungkook huffs.
“Just sometimes. Not used to you not having your way, that’s all.”
“Well, nothing is going my way, that's for sure. But whatever, I’ll figure it out. Make sure Mr. Hu holds out for me, okay? I need you to help me this time.”
“Hey, I may laugh at your misfortunes but I always have your back,” the man says. “Good luck, VP. I’ll see you soon.”
Jungkook drops the call and you feel him glance at you but you remain stiff on your seat, unwilling to move nor look anywhere else that isn’t your lap. You’re glad that he decides to close his eyes for the rest of the ride, though, so you take your chance to shift towards the window and watch the buildings fly by, willing your tears not to fall.
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You hold out until you arrive at the building. That is, until Jungkook heads straight to his room and asks you to follow. 
“Own up to your mistake and look at me,” he says, his voice seeping with disdain. 
You lift your head and meet his eyes, his gaze piercing right through you and you’re unable to move, to speak. But you try - a futile attempt, really - at appealing to the compassionate side of him, if it even exists. 
“I’m so, so sorry Mr. Jeon,” you plead for forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to forget the folder. It’s been a tough week and—”
“A tough week?” he mocks, his voice getting louder now. “As if you’re the only one who’s had one? I come here and find myself doing your job. I spent the weekend drafting the designs because I need that deal early only for you to screw it up! My father’s been on to me about this project and I need everything done right but I can’t seem to because my assistant, who’s supposed to be assisting me, can’t even get the most basic things done. All you had to do was bring the folder. You didn’t even have a contingency plan of having a soft copy. Were you not trained for this role?” 
You visibly shake but Jungkook doesn’t let up.
“Answer me.”
“I… I was, Mr. Jeon,” you tremble. “I know I’m not the smartest but I work hard and I—”
“You work hard?”
“Yes, sir.”
“In what?”
“In preparing your files and organizing everything for you and…” you try. 
A month ago, you’d be saying these things and more with so much conviction.  But all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to break you down and make you doubt every single skill you’ve developed and been praised for the past few years.
“And I can criticize each of those tasks in just this one week you’ve been my assistant.”
“I… I just needed guidance, sir, because it’s a new—”
“I need guidance. I need assisting,” he sneers. “My father wanted me to keep you because you apparently know how things are supposed to be done but you’re asking for guidance from me?”
There’s silence on your end and you’ve never felt as small as you do right now. The way Mrs. Byun abused her power over you and humiliated you during your first years here continues to be unmatched, but being treated this way by a man whose family you respect somehow hurts you more. 
You want to give up now. You’ll lose everything if you decide to just quit but it’s not like there’s much left of you to go by anyway, given the week that you’ve had. But if there’s anything your mother taught you is that the lowest you can go is when you don’t fight for yourself, so you gather what little dignity you have left and look him in the eyes. 
“You do things very differently from Mr. Jung like you said, and I admire your thoroughness,” you start, trying your hardest to calm the tone of your voice. “You’re adjusting to your new role with a new team and a new assistant that you didn’t choose but somehow you have to trust and that’s unnerving if you’re used to being in control of everything. With all due respect, however, perhaps if you let the people around you adjust as well, we would all find a way to work together effectively and respectfully. A little bit of compassion wouldn’t hurt, and it goes a long way.”
At his silence, you continue, digging your nails deeper into your skin to help you remain stable.
“I apologize for all the mistakes this past week. I know it has been unpleasant for you as well. I’ll do better, that I can promise. But if the way I work is not something that is up to your standard, then there’s only one thing to do. Me quitting would put you in a worse light; you can fire me if you think it is best,” you bravely state. “I can deal with the consequences.”
Jungkook continues to just look at you, unable to say anything this time. Perhaps he isn’t used to someone speaking to him like this. Maybe he’s finding the right words to hit you back and break you even more. The tiniest part of you wants to think you’ve softened him up a bit; hopefully he’ll be less angry at you the next time.
“Is there anything you need me to work on, Mr. Jeon?”
“No,” he answers. “Just hold off all calls for me for the next hour. I don’t want to be disturbed.”
“Understood, Mr. Jeon.” 
You bow and head out the door. 
Jungkook watches you leave, and the farther you become, the more he wishes you’d stay.
He’s unsure why. Perhaps it’s the way you spoke to him, similar to the way you did the first time you met over a week ago - with conviction and grace despite you putting him in his place. Maybe it’s him, trying to find the words to apologize without seeming weak, or to encourage you without being comfortable. The tiniest part of him just wants you around; he doesn’t know what it is about you but he finds himself feeling intense emotions because of you - frustration, fear, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret. 
He returns to his seat and glances through the window, the angle of his chair allowing him to see you outside, although he’s unsure if you’re able to see him. Either way, it’s not like you’ve ever looked his way anyway, so he feels a little safe doing this now. 
You’re seated and turned away from the desk, with your fingers pressing over both your ears, as if you’re blocking out the sounds of the room; perhaps you’re blocking out his voice that’s probably still echoing in your head. He’d seen you do this last week, too, after you failed to show up at his penthouse in the morning. He thinks it’s your way of dealing with stress, a quiet one, in contrast to boxing like what he prefers to do. It’s the only time he’d ever allow himself to express anything, after all, other than getting mad at you apparently. 
You finally turn around, but it’s not long after when Do-hyun arrives and takes your place, leaving him to wonder where you’re off to. He focuses on his work like he meant to do, opting to read and send emails while he calms himself down. His eyes always turn to your desk, though, and when he sees that he’s halfway done but you’re still not back, he decides to head out.
“Mr. Jeon,” Do-hyun stands up and greets him. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Where’s Ms. Cho?”
“She had to go to the washroom so she asked me to cover for her first,” she responds. “But, uh… She’s been gone for half an hour. I… I’m not sure what she’s up to but I can—.”
It’s at that moment when you return, and the way that both Do-hyun and Jungkook look at you that you know they can tell. You can’t exactly cry for 20 minutes and then expect to ease the swelling of your eyes for the next 10. But you act like nothing’s amiss, so you dismiss the younger woman and turn to Jungkook.
“Was there something that you needed from me, Mr. Jeon?” You ask nonchalantly.
“Just, uh…” he stutters now, taken aback by the casual way you speak to him despite your glassy eyes. “I’m meeting the CEO and President tomorrow to discuss the Arts Center. Put the initial plans in presentation format and send it to me first thing in the morning.”
“Yes, sir,” you respond, returning to your seat and not sparing him another glance. 
You work on the presentation in between the other things you need to finish. You draft memos and letters for Jungkook’s approval, and it’s half past 4 when you enter his room to have them signed. 
“I’m heading out at 5 for dinner,” he says as he signs the documents. “I’ve added points on the shared file for the presentation. Make sure to include those.”
“I will, sir.”
There’s a brief moment where you and Jungkook just look at each other, words swimming in your own heads that neither of you wants to say out loud.
You wish he’d offer an apology.
He wishes you’d say that you’re okay.
You want to tell him that the Arts Center already sounds amazing; you hope it turns out the way he imagines.
He wants to tell you that he won’t fire you, that despite how he’s been, he doesn’t want you to go anywhere.
But the moment passes and then it’s gone. You bow once more and then head out the door. 
He leaves at exactly 5, merely nodding at you as he leaves. 
Jungkook sees you again that evening, four hours later as he drives home after having dinner with Seokjin and Taehyung, the brothers he’d grown up with. The office is on the way, and it’s near the bus stop where he spots you, trying to catch a cab that someone always gets to before you do. 
The rain has started to pour, and his anxiety builds; he was never fond of it, given the memory it holds. But it’s you in your thin coat that suspends that for a while. You’re clearly shivering, unable to get a ride, and getting wet from the downpour. You cross the street, seemingly just submitting to the weather, and you disappear amongst the crowd of people just trying to get home. 
He checks his phone as he gets a message and sees the email you sent 20 minutes ago - the presentation he’d asked you to submit in the morning. This is you, making up for today, he guesses. He’s why you’re braving the rain. If he’s being honest, he’s why you’re suffering at all, and he can’t help the way his heart stings at the thought. 
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The convenience store is bright and dry unlike the streets outside, and that’s why there’s a substantial amount of people seeking shelter from the downpour that came out of nowhere. 
You welcome the rain. It served as a distraction when you were growing up and your mother’s ex-partner would yell nonstop. You’d hide in your room and cover your ears like your mother taught you to do. When she was able, she’d stay with you and cover your ears with her own hands and tell you that it’s gonna be okay, that even if you can’t stop the scary sounds, you can drown them out enough that they’ll stop bothering you. 
You didn’t think you’d ever do so again but you’ve done that twice in one week, and all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to lecture you about what your job entails. He didn’t yell, but his voice was still piercing, firm and low as if he reserves that intensity for instances of pure frustration. 
That kind of thing takes a lot out of someone. It’s different when a boss is out to abuse their power and take advantage of you. Mrs. Byun made you do her work so she could spend her lunches out and then take credit for outputs without acknowledging you. She sucked up to the directors to overcompensate for not knowing how to answer their questions. And then she had the guts to embarrass you and call you out in front of the team for not being able to do your primary tasks, which was only because you were doing hers. It took a while but her incompetence caught up to her and her departure felt like freedom. But the experience with her was constricting, suffocating, humiliating. It was dehumanizing, too, as you went home to an empty apartment every night, feeling less and less of yourself.
But the way Jungkook treats you hits differently. You’ve survived the worst and ended up in a good spot under Hoseok’s leadership where you built your confidence. During those years, you felt capable, like you were trusted; you felt that your hard work earned you respect. 
Now, you feel all that crumbling. You feel exposed, bare; as if you’re realizing you’re not that good after all. How you’ve been isn’t like you. You’re meticulous, analytical; you’ve sat in so many meetings as an observer and know how things work, how the directors think, and the kinds of outputs expected from you. But recently, you find yourself just lost, questioning everything all the time, and so incapable.
You let yourself feel the burden weigh you down as you eat a small cup of noodles and call it dinner. You walk down the aisles and pick out your favorite snacks, first eating the roasted almonds as you head out the door. 
The rain has let up, with but a drizzle left this late evening. You catch the bus and munch on pepero and chocopie this time. You’re in your neighborhood by the time you tear open the frosted mini donuts. You’ve been mindlessly eating the whole time, but once you get off your stop, you start walking towards the community center. The public library is closed but something about sitting outside the door gives you comfort, just like it used to when you were growing up.
Your mom couldn’t really afford daycare. She’d spend her lunch break picking you up from school then dropping you off at a library where her friend worked; that nice woman always looked after you until your mom came back to pick you up. Some days when she wanted to take you away from the mess that was her partner, she’d take you there, too. 
You read mostly picture books and colored on your coloring book and played with your paper dolls. Even as you grew up, you didn't really read; you just liked that the library was quiet, comfortable, that it made you feel safe. 
Your phone beeps and you see a photo that your mother has just sent of her dry living room floor. 
[From: Mom] it isn’t leaking anymore! 
You smile, imagining her sigh of relief and the way she’s probably humming about the house. You decide to call her; another bit of comfort would definitely help.
“Hi, darling,” she answers after the first ring. “Min-woo went to the hardware store when he arrived in the afternoon so he could fix the roof. What a relief.”
“That’s great, mom,” you reply, wishing you were back home with her. “You can have a good sleep tonight, then.”
“I will. What about you?”
“I hope so.”
“Have you had dinner?”
“Hmm, yeah,” you hum. 
“And where are you now?”
“Outside the library,” you say. 
There’s silence that comes after, a way in which you both say things without words sometimes. Your mom is good at that, and even if you can’t see her, you know there’s love in her eyes. And even if she can’t see you, she knows there’s sadness in yours. 
“So, work has been tough lately, am I right?”
Even without any confirmation, she already knows. She probably knew when you said that everything was fine after she asked how things were going during your visit over the weekend. She probably picked up the faintness of your smile and the way you fell asleep on her lap while you both watched TV and she combed your hair like she always did. 
“The new boss is quite hard on me,” you admit. “He expects too much, asks me to do too much… I’m trying but I keep making mistakes. I’m missing things I normally don’t. I’m not like this, mom. I… I’m better than this.”
“Oh, darling,” she sighs, wishing she’d hugged you a little tighter before you left. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you’re still adjusting. That’s valid, you know? It’s only been a week.”
“Yeah, but he acts like he’s the only one who needs to adjust and that I just magically know how to do things his way,” you groan. “It… it just makes me feel like I’m not good enough. That I… that I shouldn’t be here.”
“___, you didn’t suffer through your first few years there just so you would continue to doubt yourself,” she responds. “You deserve your role, regardless of what he thinks. You work hard and that means everything.”
“Not to him apparently. Even if I work hard, if it’s not up to his standards, it doesn’t mean anything. I can’t even do anything about it because he’s the CEO’s son.” 
“You can quit, you know?” She says after a beat of silence. “You don’t have to stay if it’s too much, and especially if it’s unfair. Just because you know you can handle it, doesn’t mean you should.”
The thought settles in your head. You did just tell Jungkook that you’d rather he fire you, which honestly terrifies you because much as he’s insufferable, you do need this job. Helping your mom over the weekend reminded you of that. From the health insurance to the salary, you don’t have to worry too much because you can finally repay her for all her hard work in raising you, in protecting you, in surviving for you. 
“I know,” you sigh. “Maybe I just let the tough first days get to me.”
“Whatever it is, you shouldn’t suffer. And you definitely shouldn’t suffer alone,” she advises. “I’m glad you came over during the weekend even if for unpleasant reasons. I got to hug you even if I didn’t know you needed it.”
“I always need it, mom,” you admit. “I don’t have to say it. It’s the only one I get anyway.”
“Well, it’s because it’s the only one you accept,” she points out. 
“True,” you laugh. “But I… I’ll do better. I’ll get my head straight tonight and treat tomorrow like my first day and you know, show him I’m capable.”
“That’s good. And you can come over again this weekend if you want. The storm should be gone by then. The girls want to go to the park. I know they’d love to hang out with you. If you don’t have plans of course.”
“You know I only ever have actual weekend plans when Jimin and Soomin visit me. But yes, I can take the trip on Saturday. If Jungkook wants me to do any work… screw him.”
Your mother laughs, only because she knows you don’t mean it. You know it, too. Regardless of how you think of your boss or your job, you know the value of your work, and you’re not one to sacrifice it for any reason. 
“Are you feeling better, darling?”
“Yeah,” you smile. “The rain’s stopped somehow. I needed to be here. And I… I needed to hear your voice.”
“Good. You know you can call whenever. I don’t have to summon you with photos of a roof or grilled makchang or something every time.”
“I know. And I will. I’ll see you soon.”
You drop the call and start walking back home. Talking with your mom is the strength you need to get through such a tough day. It doesn’t change your situation; maybe Jungkook will still be upset with you in the morning but you’ll handle it, just like you handled all the difficult times before. 
Your mother taught you something else - it was grace. You’d fight back if you need to, but you can always do it with gentleness; sometimes that works wonders, especially if you can’t afford to respond with rage. 
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You’re quite nervous walking to Jungkook’s penthouse the next morning. 
Before he left last night, you were sporting glassy and swollen eyes, after all; it wouldn’t have taken much for him to know what you were up to by being away from your desk for half an hour. But you’d been too upset to think of what he would think about it, so you acted like it was nothing when you returned to your seat, took note of his instructions, and watched him walk out. No other words were spoken and quite frankly, you don’t know what either of you could have said after what transpired. It’s a new day, though, and like you told your mother, you’ll just focus on your work and try to get that old version of yourself back, the one you’d felt slipped away this past week.
You enter the front door - as he’d told you to just go in so you don’t disrupt his workout - and immediately hear the loud sounds of leather hitting leather. He seems to be aggressively punching the sandbag, with more evidence of it coming in the form of his deep and successive breaths that you can hear as you walk towards the kitchen. You stop on your tracks, though, as a pair of red laced underwear lays crumpled on the floor.
That definitely wasn’t there yesterday morning so it must’ve been from last night. You’re not one to judge; he did have a frustrating day that you caused and releasing all that stress in this way is understandable. You just wish he had the courtesy to clean up, knowing that his assistant would be coming but then again, you also don’t know if that’s too much to ask of him.
You don’t realize that you’ve been staring at the underwear until you hear him, his deep breaths in tandem with his steps. You walk towards the counter and set him a glass of water before he notices what’s got your attention, but he still does, as he stops at the spot where you were and lets out a grunt. 
From your periphery, you see him pick up the piece of lingerie then throw it in the trash. You turn to him and bow in greeting, and Jungkook merely nods, the slightest of head tilts to acknowledge your presence, seemingly avoiding your eyes, even as you ask what he prefers to eat this morning. You’d like to think that in the recesses of his bitter heart, there’s remorse over yesterday at least, if not over the past few days. But you’ll take it; his silence is better than anything at this moment. 
You follow him towards his bedroom, stopping briefly as you look around and make sure you’re not intruding. You’re unsure if the woman is still here, but he picks up on that.
“She’s gone,” he says, walking to his bathroom. “I never make them stay.”
It’s a part of his life that you’ve only heard of. The gossip that Do-hyun hears from the washrooms in the office may be true, considering his weeknight bang and the left-behind underwear on the kitchen floor. He still had some energy based on his morning workout though, and you don’t know why the thought of him fucking someone and then boxing in the morning is making you feel hot all over. 
You snap yourself out of it, knowing it’s inappropriate and definitely not what you should be worrying about. He’s a stressed, obviously attractive, and rich bachelor; you’re not surprised he’d have women at his beck-and-call and be nonchalant about it.
You walk inside his closet and choose the shoes and accessories he’ll wear today before heading back to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. He walks in 30 minutes later, and you approach him to fix his collar and his tie like you always do, now getting used to his natural scent with hints of jasmine and bergamot. Your eyes focus on the silk necktie, hoping you’re able to control your nervous breathing being this close to him. 
He may still be annoyed at you and you may be invading his space, and the realization makes you step away quickly, taking his plate from the counter and placing it on the dining table. You open your iPad and go through the presentation he asked you to do, surprised that he’s already added a few things.
“Is the presentation final, Mr. Jeon?” You ask. “I see you’ve already looked through it.”
“Sort of,” he responds. “I woke up at 5 and reviewed it before my workout. Let’s go over them now.”
He looks through his iPad as he eats, going over each slide with you as if he’s practicing. The more he speaks, the more you envision the Arts Center and how he wants it done. The way he puts together the ideas into a coherent design is impressive. You almost see it as he does, and much as you thoroughly dislike him right now, for the sake of all the good things that this center will do for people, you really want him to succeed. 
You remind him of a few more things before he finishes his meal, and it’s not long after when you’re in the car, the silence thickening the tension between the two of you once more. This continues until you reach the office, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the distance between the both of you now. 
While you do feel better, the anxiety remains. You don’t want to mess up. And as you enter his room to give him papers to sign and you see him going through his presentation while the leather notebook he was drawing on earlier lays open on the desk, you find yourself also just not wanting to disappoint him. He clearly works hard and despite his treatment of you, you want things to work out for him. 
It’s an hour later when you’re both walking towards the elevator to head to the conference room on the CEO’s floor. It’s just Jungkook with his father and cousin today where he’ll present the initial plans for their comments and their verbal endorsement of the draft budget. 
It’s a massive project that’s working within strict timelines and Jungkook is adamant on getting this ready by mid-next year. You can tell how much he wants to deliver this well - the board of directors would be his next audience and a boost of confidence would be much needed. 
You make him a cup of coffee the way he likes and sit next to him. The distance allows you to keep your eyes away from him; with the pressure he’s under, you don’t exactly want to be close to where you can easily trigger him. 
CEO Jeon and Hoseok arrive, greeting you with their bright smiles, a reprieve from the stoic looks and tight-lipped and furrowed brows you get from Jungkook everyday.
“Hi, Ms. Cho,” CEO Jeon says. “A week has passed, huh? How has it been?”
“Challenging,” you say honestly, “but still good. I’m learning new things, Mr. Jeon.”
“That’s good,” he smiles, glancing at his son whose eyes are focused on his laptop. The elder seems unconvinced by your half smile but he nods, turning back to you. “By the way, I heard on the news that the typhoon hit your hometown pretty badly. How’s your mother and her family? Mr. Ri mentioned that there was an incident over the weekend. Is everything okay?”
You’re used to CEO Jeon asking things like this prior to meetings. He believes it’s a way to release certain feelings and not keep them hidden, and while you don’t really want to talk about it right now, you appreciate the concern. 
“She, uh. A large tree fell over our house last Saturday,” you say, to the surprise of both CEO and President. “I had to travel in the morning to help my mom. A portion of the roof was damaged and she had to call a company to fix it. Min-woo and the girls were away and mom didn’t want to deal with the workers since she was alone so I had to stay over the weekend.”
“That’s unfortunate,” the elder Jeon laments. “How is your house now? And your mom?”
“The roof is sealed. But she slipped on some debris and had to be assisted; she was being stubborn about it. She’s okay, though.”
“Ah, it must’ve been a tough few days. And for you, too,” Hoseok says. “I mean, given all the work and then having to be there for her. I’m sorry, ___.  But I’m glad she’s doing better. Tell her I send my regards, okay?”
“I will, thank you.”
Jungkook tries not to look affected as the older men ask you more details about what happened that he, of course, didn’t know about. There’s that guilt over how he treated you yesterday, learning now what you had to do over the weekend. You don’t seem the type to blame any oversight or mistake on something like that, but he would know that the tiredness and preoccupation could definitely affect things. Even more, he’d implied that you don’t work hard and that you’re being a burden to him, which is far from the truth. 
The conversation ends and he’s unable to look at you, as he stands from his seat to begin his presentation. Everything is set up, including a pointer and a marker and a glass of warm water on his side. He proceeds, presenting his design, the materials, the budget, and the timeline. 
You take note of all his answers to the questions and the ideas he comes up with on the spot, with him repeating things and stating how he wants certain points written down. You’re immersed in your own task, feeling like you’ve found your rhythm because you’ve done this so many times but the fear got ahead of you. This morning, it’s as if you’re in your element again, and there’s relief that fills you this time.  
The meeting is moved to a restaurant after the third hour. There’s an event that the CEO suggests that Jungkook’s team organize as a way to build linkages with the arts and culture networks, making sure that the younger Jeon becomes known in those fields as well. 
You have to go by memory as you listen and eat your meal, but the distance from Jungkook remains. You merely nod at his words and avoid looking at him unless you need to. It’s your way of getting over last night, you think. You still have his look of frustration etched in your mind and it’s still a bit fresh; you’d need at least another day before you can look at him normally again. You hope that other than Jungkook himself, no one notices. 
But you suppose you’ve underestimated Hoseok’s ability to pick up on your behavior; it’s one of his strengths as a leader, after all. He’s always been good at reading people, a skill that Jungkook clearly didn’t develop. 
“Hey.”
“Mr. Jung,” you greet, a wave of nostalgia hitting you because his smile is one you used to see everyday, regardless of how stressed he was. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“No, not really. It’s just been over a week but I’m still getting used to the bigger office and the new secretary but I just wanted to check in,” Hoseok says. “You and Jungkook have been very busy, I rarely catch either of you.”
“Well, he wanted to get all the introductions out of the way so he can focus on the Arts Center,” you reply. “There’s a lot happening with that one so he’s in meetings and calls all the time.”
“Ah, of course. It’s a good design and I’m sure it’ll boost the local arts scene. He got inspired during his travels in the Southeast Asia sites and has been talking about it for years. It’s good he has the freedom to work on this now.”
You merely nod, not having much to say about your boss’ passion project that’s just made him angry and frustrated. Quite frankly, you don’t know how he is when he isn’t working on such high-pressure matters, but you can already tell he isn’t someone you’d want to be around in any other context. 
“But how about you? Are you getting enough rest? All these meetings and then traveling home on the weekend is tiring, ___. I hope you’re looking out for your health.”
“I am,” you try to assure him. “I can handle it.”
You smile before shifting your eyes to your desktop screen, not wanting to look at him any longer because a second more and you’d probably burst into tears. Experiencing Hoseok’s kindness for these few minutes has just reminded you of what you constantly miss - that feeling of safety and care, of someone looking out for you and not holding you back. 
“I’m glad you are,” he smiles again, holding your gaze when you glance at him, and Hoseok hopes that in this short moment of calm, he’s able to give comfort that he just knows you need. “Anyway, I just wanted to drop by. I’ll see you around, yeah?”
“I’ll see you, Hoseok.” And as if you knew why he came over in the first place, you add, “and thank you.”
Jungkook sighs in frustration as he watches your fading smile before returning to type away on your desktop. He was about to call you to ask for a project portfolio on the shelf but stopped once he saw you talking to his cousin. You seemed a tad bit lighter than usual; Jungkook could only assume it’s your natural state, even if all he’s seen of you is that of perpetual worry and stress. 
He thinks to himself that a part of that is because of him. Maybe a big part, he admits. He wouldn’t have known about your town in Daegu or that your mother resides there and that you had to go home over the weekend, hence, your oversight yesterday. He’s at least decent enough to acknowledge that he shouldn’t have been so harsh on you in the first place. He’s just not used to things not going his way; he wonders now what the people under him suffered through to make sure of that.
Not wanting to disturb you, he decides to get the portfolio himself, so he exits his room and leans on your desk, his eyebrows scrunched as he reads through the spine labels of the folders. He doesn’t notice you stand up and attempt to ask what he needs but he does find it, reaching over on the third shelf for it. 
“I could’ve gotten that for you,” you huff.
Jungkook spots a small pout as you utter the words, disarming him a little.
“It’s… it’s fine,” he mumbles, willing his mind to go back to what he was thinking about before you said something, which is the other project he wants to look at. 
But you pick up on his words. “Seongbuk, 2021,” you repeat. 
You look up and know exactly where the portfolio for that project is. You drag your stool with your foot and walk up the steps, carefully pulling out the folder and underestimating just how heavy it is. But before it can slip out of your fingers, Jungkook gets a hold of it, his right hand gripping the spine while his left palm supports your back. 
You stiffen when you realize just how close he is to you then step down the stool, somehow nervous to look at him.
“I, uh, sorry. You were about to fall.”
You stiffen again because he didn’t just apologize, did he? Your eyes are glued to the ground and you don’t see Jungkook’s surprised look.
Because he did just that. What felt more alarming than his apology was that it had been a reflex for him to have his hand behind you, his heart leaping a bit because you really were close to falling. An injured version of you isn’t something he wants to deal with, and he convinces himself that it’s because it would look absolutely terrible for his assistant to get hurt on the job, and especially in his presence. 
“Is that all you need, Mr. Jeon?”
“Uh, yes,” he responds. “Be, uh, be careful.”
He takes both folders and heads back to his room, his face buried in the pages as you sneak a glance at him from the window.
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“So, how’s the second week as VP going?” Hoseok asks his cousin from across the table of their favorite Japanese restaurant during their Friday lunch. “Worse than the first?”
Jungkook, not keen on answering truthfully, merely shrugs. 
“Well, I can bet you though that ___ is definitely having it worse than last week.”
“Did she say anything? About me specifically?” Jungkook asks, his curious eyes telling Hoseok that it’s more of concern than anger. 
“Of course not. She’s there to protect you, Kook, not tell on you. Is there something to say? About you specifically?”
Jungkook knows how well his cousin can read people, especially him. They’d grown up together after all, and had gotten close because the older man always stayed next to him, knowing how shy little Jungkook used to be. So he narrates what happened - that he’d gotten angry, that he was being too strict, that he wasn’t leaving you room for adjustment. He’d of course excluded his own oversight and need to establish distance and authority, chalking it up to not having the familiarity and conveniences he’d been used to back in Singapore. 
“I feel like working with father even closer now, it’s like I’m under a microscope,” Jungkook continues. “I don’t wanna mess up. I just don’t wanna give him a reason to criticize or question me.”
“Well, if he learns about how it’s been with ___, he’ll do exactly those things,” Hoseok responds. “He cares about his people, you know? I’m sure that’s the one thing he wants you to do right.”
“Can’t say I’d know. It’s not like he’s any more compassionate than I am. We’re talking about a man who yells at the managers who can’t get things done right.”
“They were abusing their power, that’s why,” Hoseok explains. “And I’m not here to defend the man - I’ve been on the receiving end of his anger twice and saw how he’d push people to their near breaking point a few times but he’s not a terrible person. I’ve seen him be understanding and caring to his staff way more; you just haven’t been around that much.”
“It’s not what I saw growing up.”
“Well, we remember what we want, and forget the parts that don’t make sense to us.”
Jungkook stays silent as he munches on his steak.
“He wants to get closer to you, you know?” Hoseok continues. “He hopes that with you being around, he can mentor you, learn from you. All those years that you were home, you felt so far away from him, farther away than Jeong-sik who wasn’t even here, and he doesn’t know why.”
“He can’t expect to be a rich, ambitious businessman and be close to his son,” Jungkook huffs. “All he ever cared about when I was growing up was work. Sure, he had rare good moments, but we all know it was to compensate for always being too busy. He pressured me to do well at school then missed awarding ceremonies. He scheduled some family time then left me and my brother in some cabin in the woods by ourselves. He wants to work with me here then disallows my requests. What does he want from me?”
“Your time, I suppose. Maybe your understanding, too.”
“Did he give those to me when I was younger? He had so many chances these past 30 years and he wants those now?”
“People are complicated, Kook. Sometimes they lose sight of what’s important, of what’s in front of them… doesn’t mean they’re bad people,” Hoseok says. “And it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance. I mean, don’t we all want that? Don’t we all grow out of our bad habits and just yearn for something good?”
“Not everyone does that.”
“Maybe not, but your father has. And he just wants another chance. And whether or not it was her fault, I’m sure ___ wants that, too.”
“Did you really ask me to treat you to lunch only to advocate for the people I don’t really care much about?” Jungkook laughs bitterly. 
“No,” Hoseok chuckles. “I really wanted to try it here. But also, uncle took me out to drinks before you arrived and was all honest with me, which was a little weird but I guess he thought he could get some perspective from you through me. And ___ was my assistant and I think highly of her. It’s upsetting how things started for you both. I guess I just feel kind of caught in the middle between you and the people you actually care about. So yes, I deserve this free lunch.”
Jungkook doesn’t correct his cousin, more for the fact that Hoseok really does get caught in the middle - always has, even between him and his older brother whom Jungkook never really got along with; it definitely isn’t because he acknowledges that he cares about you. There’s no reason for him to feel that; you’re just his assistant, after all. 
Being beautiful and capable and hardworking doesn’t have anything to do with being cared about. 
“I… I admit being too hard on ___. I get that she’s good and stuff but maybe that fits with your leadership style more,” Jungkook tries to reason. “Maybe she just thrives in a team where she’s led by someone like you, someone who’s good with people and who’s process-oriented and I don’t know, someone who isn’t as tough or meticulous like me.”
“I’m sorry, Kook, but you sound stupid. You clearly don’t know anything about her. She’s experienced all the lows - the disrespect from the men, the abuse of power from the women, all the long hours and ridiculous deadlines, the loudest of yells and the craziest demands,” Hoseok exclaims. “She’s been here for just eight years but it feels more. Sometimes I don’t know why she stayed but I’m glad she did, selfishly, and that’s because she helped me so much. Are you… are you giving her reasons to leave so you can have Lucas with you?”
“No,” Jungkook dismisses the thought, although he does admit it entered his mind before he even started. “I’m just… not used to her. And the mishaps didn’t help. I just wanna be able to do my job and do it right.”
“And you will, if you just loosen up a bit and give her a chance to show you that she can help you. It’s just that I’m not seeing that same joy and energy in her eyes and her smile,” Hoseok explains. “I was thinking last Wednesday that maybe it was because of her mom but during the meeting this morning, it was the same. I’d hate to think that’s because of you. Because if it is and she’s thinking of resigning, I won’t stop her. I might even suggest it to her. “
The thought of you being gone causes a lump in Jungkook’s throat. It’s selfish, really, because despite how he treats you, he still wants you here. It’s just as silly, and stupid, and something he doesn’t have a clear reason for. But other than his cousin not trusting that he could treat you fairly, it’s the possibility that you might just quit yourself, something you seem to be capable and willing to do. And that voluntary departure is something he doesn’t want to deal with. Once you leave, you’ll just be gone; he won’t have a reason to seek you. 
“I’ll do better,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll stop being such a pain in the ass and be… kinder, I guess.”
“She’ll probably see right through you if you fake it,” Hoseok laughs. “Just be fair. Trust me, that’s what she’d want, too. Correct her if you need to, but do it constructively. And please, try to smile every once in a while. It won’t hurt you. Nor would it ruin whatever tough guy image you have.”
Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes but he lets out a chuckle. His cousin won’t ever let go of the fact that 18-year old Jungkook had his first tattoo because he wanted to look tough. 
“I still have to establish authority, Hoseok. I can’t do it like you do.”
“Well, you’re missing out. Smiling always makes you feel a hundred times better.”
“She’ll probably see right through me if I fake it,” Jungkook repeats his cousin’s words almost mockingly. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows I’m not… cheerful. It’s like, how I’m compared to you.”
The two start walking back and Hoseok takes a jab at the younger man. “Actually, I heard that I’m the handsome one, too, and the stable guy, the family man, the man you’d take home to meet your parents…”
Jungkook laughs along. He agrees, and while it was not Hoseok’s intention at all, it does make Jungkook wonder even hours later - given all the things that characterize him, which are nothing like the older man’s - who would want him? Who would even take a chance on him? Who would even think it’s worth it to be with him?
Chaerin did, and then he self-sabotaged and lost her. Maybe the women he meets at clubs and takes home, but then all they want is a good time anyway, just like him. Maybe it’s someone he’s never met, but he also doesn't know how to be someone that someone else would love. 
Maybe there isn’t any. And maybe that isn’t so bad. Perhaps he’d have to start getting used to that fact; it’s easier than realizing he’s not meant to be with someone after all. 
He pauses the thought and decides that’s for the weekend version of him to lament over. This Friday afternoon, he’s focused on firming up the project details with the design and logistics teams. He’d just finished his meeting with them, with you barely looking his way just like you’ve done throughout the week - which he can’t fault you for because he was doing the same - and he’s back in his room to coordinate with other units. 
You, on the other hand, seem to be fixated on the quarterly reports that you’ll be handing over to him. It’s past 5 and he knows you’ll be staying up late again, given that he’d ordered you at the start of the week to finish the reviews by Friday. He’s given you too much to do, and after everything he’s done, letting you off early is a way for him to apologize without actually apologizing. 
He picks up the phone and calls you.
“How many reports do you have left to review?” He asks.
“Three more, Mr. Jeon,” you answer. “I’ll finish them tonight, please just give me another hour and a half.”
“Are you going home to see your mother tomorrow?” 
“Uh, yes, sir. I leave in the morning,” you say, curious at the question that you never thought he’d ask.
“You should clock out now, then.”
“Oh, but the reports, sir. I—”
“It’s okay,” he says, surprising you. “I’ll be busy with Arts Center details this weekend so I won’t have time to sign off on the reports anyway so you can continue them on Monday.”
You’re too shocked to speak that it doesn’t register that you’re indeed not saying anything.
“Ms. Cho?” Jungkook repeats your name.
“Oh, uh, yes, as long as it’s okay, Mr. Jeon.”
“Yes, that’s what I just said.”
“That’s, uh, thank you,” you mumble, turning on your roller chair to retrieve your bag and start packing, only to look up and see through the window that Jungkook can see you right now, smiling like a giddy child. There’s this movie that’ll show on your favorite local channel and you’re glad that you’ll be able to catch it tonight. 
You’re unsure what Jungkook’s eaten to be dismissing you this early. Maybe it was the lunch he had with Hoseok earlier; maybe it was the older man knocking some sense into him. You don’t have the energy to think about it, given that you now also have time to cook yourself proper dinner and enjoy eating it while watching and curling under your comfy blanket on your tiny couch, just like how you used to enjoy your Fridays. 
You’ll deal with the unreviewed reports and Jungkook returning to his normal, grumpy self on Monday. Tonight is all about you, and the weekend version of you is about being with your mother, her partner, and your stepsisters. There’s nothing like being with the people who make you feel safe; you’ll deal with the stress when a new week rolls by.
Jungkook watches you excitedly leave your desk. He can’t imagine the relief you’re feeling of being relieved this early and then spending your Friday evening the way you want, however that is. He lets himself wonder for a bit how you would spend time by yourself. Yoongi did say your friends aren’t in Seoul and your family obviously isn’t.
But then again, maybe you do have a partner, and maybe that’s why you looked as happy as you did. He’s not quite sure what to do with the slight distress at the thought, but with the absurdity of the amount of times he thinks about you, he decides it shouldn’t matter anyway. 
He has his own plans, too, like watching sports over bottles of beer that night, and then playing video games the next day before going to a bar with Seokjin and Taehyung. 
That Sunday, he works all morning then works out in the afternoon. In the evening, he decides to meet his friends again. 
Entering the club, he spots the table where they are - Seokjin has his arm around a woman and his lips glued to her ear; he pulls her closer as she laughs at his words. Taehyung has one next to him, too; they’re engaged in some serious conversation, it seems, given how passionately they’re talking to each other. That is, until his hand slides inside her dress; maybe it wasn’t that deep. 
Jungkook doesn’t know how his friends can converse with the women they find in these places. Given, Seokjin tends to stick to the same one for months and Taehyung is just naturally flirty and friendly so maybe it’s not that hard. 
For Jungkook, it’s just not something he’s able to fully or even properly do. What does he say? He’d brag about his work and his lifestyle if he was the type, but he isn’t, and there’s nothing else about him that he’d like to share. He’s always straightforward when it comes to these things. He’s picky; he does have a type, after all, but he always knows what they want and so do they. 
So when he spots a woman by the bar - the one who’d bought him a drink last night - he just smirks as she takes her shot and bites her lips when she catches him looking. 
“Hey, I finally caught you sober,” she giggles in his ears after she meets him halfway. 
“And I finally caught you without a man next to you,” he whispers. “Should I be worried?”
“Nah, he was just my plaything last night,” she responds. “I could be yours.”
Jungkook chuckles, enjoying her bluntness. He takes her hand and waves at his friends; they already know he’s taking off and they won’t hear from him for the rest of the night. 
It’s the way most of his evenings go anyway, whether he’s here or in Singapore or elsewhere, really. 
Jungkook likes the thrill, he likes the shallow intimacy he gets from the feelings of ecstasy and carnal desire. He likes that he doesn’t have to share anything about himself apart from his name so they could scream it, likes that there’s nothing about the other person to uncover, and that there’s nothing about himself he has to be honest about. He likes that he’ll remember the pleasure until the next day but nothing else - not her breathing, not her gentle touches on his chest, not her soft whispers of his name. 
There’s nothing much about her he’ll care for other than that she had a good time. And there’s nothing about tonight he’ll regret, except not making sure that she left his apartment like he always asks them to do.
Because it’s Monday morning, and there’s that woman wearing his coat and nothing else. 
And then there’s you, dressed in your skirt and blouse in his living room, with a look of shock on your pretty face. 
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