#thank you so much for the ask! Sorry it took so long to answer @_@;

[puck-luck]

patchwork hearts | nico hischier

warnings: unprotected p in v, chatgpt-level swiss german (since google translate doesn’t have swiss german. only regular german. f u google translate), angst i guess (argument), make-up sex, pretty vanilla all in all, oral f!receiving, fingering.

pairing: nico hischier x fem!reader

request: Reader and Nico get into a fight before we leaves for away from away games in the west coast and they make up when he comes back (or while he is away). Request by @hockeygirl1328. thanks queen! sorry it took so long!!

wc: 3,345

The memory of the argument flashes through your mind when Nico’s face appears on your screen. It’s the cuddliest photo you’ve ever taken of him, scruff in full form and hair messy, but that still doesn’t improve your mood. Just before he left for this road trip, you’d gotten into a massive fight about his constant travel. You love Nico, so much, but he’s always gone. It’s your first season together and the adjustment from Summer Nico to Season Nico has been really difficult.

Maybe you were being selfish, but you didn’t want to miss Nico for another week. He comes home for a few days, then leaves for a few more. The cycle repeats over and over again and there’s not enough time for you and Nico to establish a routine. There’s not enough time for you to even see Nico some days, which is just disheartening. Your boyfriend is basically a half-version of himself and, most of the time, it feels like his only priority in life is hockey. You don’t even rank.

Nico’s words had hurt, even though you know in your heart that he was right. It was just excessive, the way he’d dug his claws into you with only a few words. 

As the phone rings out, you hear the echo of what he said. “You knew what this life was when we got together. I don’t have time for a constant guilt trip every time I leave!”

“I didn’t sign up to be an afterthought,” you’d fought back.

“Not everything is about you, you know,” Nico snapped. “The world doesn’t revolve around you– my world doesn’t revolve around you.”

His eyes had grown immediately wide and his jaw had dropped, like he couldn’t believe he just said that. You couldn’t believe he’d said that. The argument ended immediately– only because there was nothing you could muster up in reply. 

You hadn’t broken up with Nico for the mere statement, although you’ll admit that it crossed your mind. Instead, you’d sat in place as Nico’s many apologies fell on deaf ears. You felt almost catatonic as he’d kenlt down in front of you and tried to gauge your reaction, touching your knee with a gentle nudge. He’d wiped away the tears that leaked from your eyes, even though you’d tried to turn away from his touch. 

You’d slept over that night because you hadn’t felt you were able to move. The shock kept you in place. Nico had tucked you into his bed and relegated himself to the couch. When you woke up and you’d finally felt able to move, ready to face the boy, he was gone. There was a note on the door and a message left on your phone, both of which said roughly the same thing: that Nico was sorry he had to go, but he couldn’t stay. You knew why, of course. It was time for his California roadie. As much as you felt like an afterthought at times, you aren’t unreasonable. You know that he has to travel for his job. 

You’re still hurt, to be fair. No matter how many times Nico apologized after dropping that bomb, it continues to cut at you and pop up in your mind whenever he calls. You’ve answered twice over the duration of the roadie, but the conversations had felt stilted and forced. After the last call, just over a day ago, Nico had asked if he could come over to your apartment and see you when he got back. 

You think that he was calling a moment ago because he made it back to the Prudential Center and would be driving to your place soon. Your palms are a bit sweaty knowing that Nico is on the way. You don’t want to fight with him again and you have a feeling that he doesn’t want to fight either, but you know it’s not resolved.

You take the time before Nico arrives to calm yourself. You get a glass of water, you grab a handful of your favorite snack, and you sit on the couch to watch a bit of TV.

He calls again a few minutes later. This time, you answer.

“Hi, Nico,” you greet, voice quiet.

“Hi, I’m downstairs,” Nico says. “Just wanted to let you know I’m here before I come up.”

“Okay, Nee. I’ll see you soon.” You pull the phone away fom your ear and end the call, standing up to unlock your front door. You return to the couch and when he knocks, you call out to tell him that it’s open.

Nico comes through the door and toes off his shoes. “How was your day?” Nico asks, coming over to the couch to join you. 

“Not bad. I went to work and the gym and then I came home,” you reply. You attempt a smile at Nico when he sits on the couch and circles his fingers around your ankle, rubbing his thumb against your skin. “How was California?”

“I missed you,” Nico says. “It was hard to focus on the games when I was thinking about you. I’m sorry I left after the fight. I wish I hadn’t needed to go. I wanted to stay and make things better.”

The breath leaves your chest in a deep sigh. “It was unfortunate timing.”

“I know,” Nico agrees, nodding. “It gave me a little time to think about what to say to you, which is nice. I know I can’t really make up for what happened last week, but–” Nico takes your hand and grasps it. “I’m sorry I said you weren’t a priority for me. You are. You’re a huge part of my life and I wouldn’t be anywhere without you, supporting me and cheering me on and being there for me every day. I’m sorry I wasn’t more considerate of your feelings.”

You almost want to cry again after hearing him spout this heartfelt apology. Nico sits in front of you and waits, blinking patiently and chewing on his lower lip while you take in his words. The lines under his eyes are deep and you can tell that he lost sleep over something this past week, likely this incident if his words have any truth to them. You nod and reach forward, cradling Nico’s face in your hands. “I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt,” you tell Nico. “I know you can’t help that hockey is such a big part of your life. I know you don’t mean to put me on the backburner. I just felt a little neglected and I’m sorry that I accused you of making me an afterthought.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize because of how you feel,” Nico says. He slides his arm down to your waist. “I was caught up in everything else in my life and didn’t give you the attention you deserve. I never want to make you feel that way again.”

“You won’t,” you say. “I know you won’t.” You lean in and press a chaste kiss to Nico’s lips. After kissing him, you shuffle forward and tuck yourself against his chest. 

Nico pulls you onto his lap and cradles you there, kissing the top and side of your head. He touches as much of your body as he can, rubbing your back and your arms, your waist and your thighs. You breathe together, leaning against each other, and taking in the presence of the other person.

“Please let me show you how much I love you,” Nico requests after a few minutes, caressing your sides and looking at you with his big, brown eyes. “And how sorry I am for acting like I don’t care. I care, babe, I care so much.” He drops a kiss on your forehead, then your cheek. “Please.”

You don’t reply, but you turn your head and find his lips. You touch the scuff on Nico’s face, which he seems to have shaved over his roadie, but it’s starting to grow back. His hair is at risk of being deemed “too long” in his own opinion, so you touch the strands reverently, knowing that they’ll be gone sooner than later. 

“Let me take care of you,” Nico murmurs, dipping down to brush a kiss over your jawline. 

“Okay,” you whisper back, touching the side of Nico’s neck and the curve of his bicep. 

He fits his strong palms under your thighs, lifting you. You wrap your legs around his waist and do your best to distract Nico on his walk to the bedroom. You might still be a little sad about what Nico said a week ago, but the apology worked well enough that you’re trying to let it go. 

Nico lays you on the bed, kissing down your body and undressing you as he goes. His touch is loving, almost overwhelmingly so. He removes his shirt and settles between your legs, kissing from your calf to the inside of your knee, up your thigh and all the way to your hip bone. 

The only sound that fills the room is the shared sigh of relief when Nico connects with your core. As his tongue flattens and licks a stripe up your slit, Nico’s eyes flutter shut and his hands fix on your hips to pull you closer. 

Ninety percent of the time, Nico gets ravenous when he’s eating you out. Today is different. 

His tongue trails through your folds. The tip of the muscle traces every inch of your cunt before he even considers pressing closer. Nico takes his time– he savors the taste of your slick. “Mm, liebste,” Nico groans. “You taste so good.” 

He works his tongue against your cunt, licking around the rim of your entrance before flicking further inside. One of his hands comes to your front, thumb contacting your clit and rubbing soothing circles over it. His other hand travels underneath your body and you let out a startled gasp when his fingers dig into the flesh of your ass, dragging you even closer.

He’s systematic and precise, kitten licking at your insides. He focuses on one part of your body, then another– in this case, he goes from your hole to wrapping his all-consuming lips around your clit and suckling. 

His index finger finds your entrance and soothes the smooth ring, drawing circles over the outline of your most intimate area before you lift your hips into his touch. You’re silently asking for more and Nico understands that, gently pushing his finger inside. Just like with his mouthwork, he’s slow and attentive. 

The pad of Nico’s fingertip feels out your inner walls, welcoming the hug of your cunt around his digit eagerly and repaying you by trying to find that spot inside of you, the one that always makes you see stars. 

His hair has started to fall messily over his forehead, brushing his eyebrows. You find the strands with your hands, clutching at them and moving his head where you need it to be– for all intents and purposes, you keep him mostly aligned with your clit, but the movement of his head provides a friction that pure suction could not offer.

As you do this, his middle finger pokes at your entrance. The first knuckle disappears inside you with little resistance, then Nico starts to work on opening you up. His fingers scissor inside of you, spearing against the gummy ridges of your muscle, preparing you for his cock. 

You clench down a bit at the thought of his member, pleas for the length on the tip of your tongue. You know Nico is thinking about fucking you too, just based on the way he rolls his hips against the mattress and hums. 

He releases your clit from between his lips, which draws a whine of protest from you. Nico chuckles quietly and turns his head, planting a kiss on your inner thigh. Then, he dips his head and twists his wrist so that his palm faces upward. Nico licks between his two fingers, his eyelids open just enough that you can see how he looks up at you and takes you in. 

Nico draws away from your pussy only to ask, “Chunsch du, schatz?” 

He’s teasing you, plucking at an inside joke from when you felt you were brave enough to try to learn Swiss German. Thinking it would be sweet, you’d tried your hand at talking Nico’s native tongue in bed, but your words had just seemed too formal. Still, it’s something you can laugh over. Nico loves to parrot your effort at “Are you coming?” back at you, always smiling fondly when he does.

He’s worked his tongue back between his fingers, looking up at you with raised eyebrows. He waits for you to answer his question, sure to bump his nose against your clit when you open your mouth, so that you produce a moan instead of a sentence. Nico giggles at his little joke, cheeks dimpling and eyes crinkling. He brings his mouth to your clit and kisses over the bud, steadily pumping his fingers to really bring you to orgasm.

You whimper when he works a third thick finger into your entrance, stuffing you full. You know it’s necessary since his cock is also thick, but there’s a dull ache at the first stretch that has you writhing on the bed. 

“I know, I know,” Nico soothes, lathing kiss after kiss to your sensitive center. “But I have to get you all open for me, baby. So you feel good later, hm?” He bends his knuckles and comes into contact with your sweet spot, the rush of pleasure making your back arch involuntarily. Nico notices this and grins, eyes determined and set on continuing this feeling for you.

Your noises grow more slurred with each touch of his fingertips to your walls, especially when he flicks his tongue rapidly over your clit. He’s still teasing you, dangling the climax just out of reach with the way he’ll overwhelm your clit with his tongue and then slow down, licking flat stripes along the parts of your slit that he can reach. 

“Nico,” you lament with a frown when he pulls away again, just as you were about to come.

“Sorry,” Nico apologizes with a crinkle-eyed smile. He captures your clit and keeps his mouth there, beckoning his fingers and creating a vacuum around the bundle of nerves at the apex of your vagina. This time, he doesn’t let up– he goes and goes and goes until your hands have found their way back to his hair and pull so hard that there’s a stinging sensation along Nico’s scalp.

He allows his eyes to drift shut again, free hand dancing up your body until he finds your tits, finally giving them the attention that he feels they deserve. With a few harsh gropes, a pinch or two to your nipple, and even a tug at your chest, you’re unraveling over Nico’s digits and making your situation very well known to your neighbors.

“Bravo, süsse,” Nico praises over the heaving of your chest. He stays in contact with your center, but slows his movements to something that keeps you teetering on the precipice of pleasure rather than in the throws of it. “Do you think you’re ready for my cock?”

“Yes,” you rasp out, reaching for Nico and catching him by his biceps. You coax him forward, palms sliding up to his jawline. You lick over the seam of Nico’s lips and taste yourself already, the flavor of your cum only growing stronger when Nico parts his lips and slides his tongue against yours. “Fuck me, Nico.”

“Mm, hase, I’m not going to fuck you,” Nico corrects. “I’m going to take care of you. And you’re going to take care of me.”

While you were ready to protest the first part of his statement, your mouth quickly snaps shut when he finishes speaking. You lay back against the pillows, propping your head up, and you bring Nico with you. His body blankets yours, shifting atop you as he tries to remove his bottoms with one hand. His other roams on your torso, stroking the curves of your sides and stomach.

“So schön,” Nico murmurs.

“So beautiful,” you repeat, thumbing over his cheekbone. 

Nico reaches between your bodies and lines himself up with your entrance. Just like before, he moves slowly. He moves with purpose. You can feel every inch of Nico’s length as it sinks into you. 

When you roll your head back to let out a soft moan, Nico seizes the opportunity to paint a series of open-mouthed kisses on your neck. “I love you so much,” he mumbles against your skin. He rolls his hips, filling you further. “So much.”

“I love you too,” you reply, hands scrambling for purchase on the expanse of his back when Nico’s tip brushes against the cartilaginous wall of your cervix. He knocks against that wall again on his next thrust forward, only drawing out about halfway before snapping forward suddenly. 

Regardless of how he fills you, his movements are still tinged with reverence and tenderness. Nico holds you like something that will break under the pressure of his fingertips, but he’s still desperate to keep you close. He’ll let his hips fall flush with yours and remain there sometimes, then other times he’ll roll and snap his hips like your lives depend on it. 

You know that there was once an argument between you, but all that matters is the fact that Nico is here and he’s doing exactly what he promised he’d do: take care of you.

His hand finds your arm, then trails up to your wrist. He presses your wrist into the cushion above your head, but doesn’t stop there. He brings his fingers up to your palm, tracing over the lines that represent your love and your life. He slots his fingers between yours and intertwines your fingers, holding your hand tight as he continues to thrust into you. He repeats the same process on the other side, until both of your hands are wrapped in his. He pins you to the bed, but you feel only safe and secure, not trapped in the slightest. 

“You’re so tight around me, baby,” Nico says, ending his statement with a kiss. His voice is low and rough, breathless and nearly spent due to the tango you’re performing now. “Gonna fill you up, fill you ‘til all of my love is dripping out of you.”

You were already overwhelmed, but when he said that– and then nibbled your bottom lip after– you feel a dam break inside of you. You come suddenly and without warning, jaw dropping. A high keen falls from your mouth, only to be met with a coo from Nico and a deep grunt as he continues to fuck into your even tighter entrance. 

The squeeze of your cunt around Nico’s cock is enough to make him come too, the white spurts of cum filling your hole just like he’d promised. You can feel Nico trembling a bit from the aftershocks, your chest meeting his as you arch up into his touch and he deflates from exhaustion. He covers you just like a warm comforter and kisses you lazily, both of you wanting to stay connected after such an intense reunion.

You feel satiated, calm and happy that Nico came to you when he returned instead of going home and basking in the misery of the argument from a week prior. You certainly feel better now, after having gone through the throes of that low point in your relationship.

“Mm,” Nico hums, like he remembered something suddenly. His head tilts and he kisses along the crook of your neck. “During the break in February, I thought you’d like to come home with me. We can have a little couples vacation at home, just you and me. How does that sound?”

“Amazing, Nico,” you tell him, smoothing his hair beneath your fingertips. “That sounds amazing.”

note: read a stoner!nico fic recently that Cece reblogged and I tweaked. thinking of y'all! i think you'll see nico a lot sooner on this blog than you expect... perhaps a little "nico x ____ x reader".....

[lambilegs]

was reading your modern!lee hcs and omg lee x reader meeting on tinder or some dating app is such a fun idea

MODERN!LEE MEETING YOU ON A DATING APP

contains: sfw!!, fluff, just crush stuff nothing major middle picture is from: the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all by sumiko arai divider by: @enchanthings note to anon: so so so sorry for how long it took to answer this!! thank you so much for the request, this was so fun and so funny to write hehe

you can’t even lie — you one thousand percent swiped right just for her looks LMAOOOO like it’s not your fault even, her profile just has so little to go off of. it’s essentially just a lot of candid pictures her friends have selected for her, with some plain bio that just says what her job is and that she’s looking for something serious (yes, she cringed when adding that second part, and yes, her friends forced her to)

but still she gets bare swipes on her profile, since, well, she’s hot and people find her even hotter when they realize through her bio that she’s a special agent

and, lee? well, she kinda doesn’t swipe much at all, considering she’s very analytical and scrutinizing with everyone’s profile, overthinking about what their bios and fun facts indicate about them, and if they’re compatible with her

eventually, her friends have to snatch the phone and much to her horror, swipe on a bunch of people without pause, their cackles practically evil as she wordlessly watches

you end up being one of the victims of this swiping rampage, which leaves you eagerly texting her a greeting, biting your thumb when you see she reads your message

except... one hour passes. and then another. and then another. and she simply doesn’t reply, leaving you on read for two days before replying back

you’re expecting an apology, something to explain her lack of reply, but all you get is a “hi,” causing you to scoff in annoyance

you try your best to fish it out of her, replying, “hi!! I wondered where you went haha”

when she immediately replies, “what do you mean?” you text, “oh well it said you read my message two days ago”

after the speech bubble pops up then disappears a few times, you laugh out loud at her reply: “oh. I didn’t know you could see that.”

listen, I love her — but like, c’mon, we all know you’re CARRYINGGGG the first conversation. it’s filled to the brim with dry, short, one-worded responses from her, and at one point, you’re pushed to ask, “sooo why did you swipe on me?” since a part of you is wondering if she’s even interested

you nearly delete the conversation when she replies, “I didn’t. my friends did.”

the only redeeming factor is the text she sends a few minutes afterwards, saying, “but, you’re nice, though. they only swiped for me because they said I was overthinking it.”

and that naturally leads you two into a conversation about how much she’s hated dating apps so far LMFAO so you both wind up complaining together, which proves to be a great ice breaker

she has some texting habits that still get you on edge, though, like randomly dropping off the face of the earth for hours to days, and giving you blunt and short responses. even her use of periods sometimes has you biting your lip in nervousness LMAO

but, you can tell she’s trying harder, asking you questions like what you liked about your hometown, or what do you like about your favourite movie genre. you like that about her — her questions aren’t the generic “wyd?” she asks questions that actually allow you to reveal things about yourself, intimate things that really make you feel like you’re sharing these hidden parts of yourself

you eventually adjust to her texting style, slowly figuring out she’s not completely aware of how dry it comes off, and just doesn’t bother with any texting etiquette most people rely on in order to soften their words, like emojis or exclamation points

but, three weeks into texting, when she leaves for an entire two days after you and her had a conversation about your past experiences with romance, you finally crack and ask her, “why do you keep randomly leaving for so long?”

as you had partially expected, she replies with, “I just leave whenever I feel socially drained or get busy. I get caught up with work and won’t reply to messages during that time.”

when you reply neutrally, not exactly sure what’s the fair thing to say, she asks, “does it bother you?” it makes you smile a bit, to know she’s so in tune with your texting style she knows when you’re feeling off. that’s another thing you’ve grown to like about her — she’s perceptive as hell, remembering every little thing you’ve exposed about yourself and able to wind the map of yourself maybe even better than yourself. like, when you mention having high expectations for romance, she muses, “must be the early 2000s romance films,” as though she’s already confident in her ability to read you. and maybe she should be

when you admit you feel a bit hurt when she leaves abruptly without warning, especially if it’s right after you opened up to her, she replies, “I’m sorry. I won’t do it anymore.”

and she doesn’t. it shocks you, really. just how utterly and completely decent she is, how sure she is of ensuring her promise to you doesn’t go broken. she’ll now send you texts like, “work is getting busy, I’ll be back in a few days.” or if she needs to abruptly leave after a certain tender conversation, she’ll always let you know when she’ll be back to continue it. the entire thing makes your heart swell

when you first send her a voice message, it’s to explain a long ass story about a friendship breakup you had. a part of you is scared to, fearing that she’ll find your voice unattractive and maybe like you less. but, you know it’s a necessary step, and she’s bound to hear your voice anyways once you guys meet

so, shakily, heart throbbing, you send her an audio with a trembling voice and lots of — way too many — giggles

when she says nothing about your voice, only remarking on your story, you groan in frustration, nearly screaming in your pillow. you really can’t play any coy, indirect games with her, can you? and so, you send her another message, hoping it doesn’t come off as too serious when you say, “sooo kicking your feet over my voice?”

“kicking your feet?”

shit. of course she doesn’t know the reference

“like,” you text with a grumble, “do you like my voice?”

a bubble pops. then, it vanishes. then, it pops again. and, then: “I do. it’s nice.”

you know it’s barely anything, but still, you beam at your phone like an idiot. and, then, you release a nearly earth-shattering scream when you see an audio message back from her

you pray you like her voice, sucking in a deep breath when you hit play

and immediately, your eyes shut. god. what a goddamn pretty voice she has. it’s light, so airy you feel like it could be carried in the wind, drifting and drifting. and it has this pleasant little edge to it, rough but velvety in its occasional husk. god, you could get drunk off it

one day, when out with friends, you get drunk, high, or maybe just a bolt of courage form their insistence that this lee girl definitely has a thing for you. but, all you know is something triggers a bolt of courage to zap through you, and before you know it, you’re texting her, sloppily texting in the midst of the bumping crowd, “hiiioii I miss you”

she reads it, then to your intense nervousness, doesn’t reply till twenty minutes later, simply saying, “I miss you too”

you pout, replying, “do you really? you took so long to reply”

she immediately responds then, writing out, “I just didn’t know what to say”

“because you didn’t miss me?”

“no. I do miss you. I just am not used to all of this”

your eyebrows furrow. you type out, “all of what?”

“having someone I want to talk to everyday.”

the confession has you holding your breath, the rest of the room becoming drained out white noise as your gaze lingers upon those words, a swarm of butterflies whirling in your stomach. you bite your lip, texting back, “I feel the same way”

she excuses herself, then, saying she needs to get back to work. but, that doesn’t dissuade you from believing the earnestness of her words. you know she wouldn’t lie just to tell you what you want to hear. no, she truly meant it. and that has you buzzing with a thrill all night

the next morning, after sleeping in an egregious amount after the late night out, the memories of what occurred slowly settle back into your consciousness and you cringe, feeling embarrassed for how exposing you were in your need for her. when you pick up your phone and see she’s messaged you two hours ago, you wince slightly before opening it. but, what meets your eyes has you jolting up in bed with a sharp gasp, mouth dropping

“when can we meet?”

[folkwhoreberry]

Hello I have another on because I just love your stories ALOT if you don't mind ofc!

Reader that almost gets killed because of Hades monster and percy losing total control of himself and his powers thinking that reader is dead.

Yeah that's all I got thank you for your time if you don't want to do it you don't have to!

Long Live, Angel

percy jackson x reader

or... the one where he’s losing you

word count : 568

warning : mmh mentions of a cut, blood, and death, english is not my first language!!!

🔱🌊

“percy, behind you!”

that’s the last thing percy heard from you.

he turned around to face the monster behind him, who quickly switched sides to attack you instead. a heavy fog covered the two of you, and then… nothing. only your limp body laying on the floor, some blood trickling from a cut on your arm, and the monster hovering above you.

“no! you… you monster, you killed her!” percy screamed at the monster, tears blurring his vision as he felt his heart thumping in his throat. the monster just growled loudly at him, starting to walk towards the raven haired boy, as if planning his steps to get him next.

percy quickly got his pen sword out of his pocket, running towards the monster with a sprint full of anger and rage. extending his arms forward, his reached out to stab the monster in its stomach, but it was too quick, swiftly moving to the side so that the blade will miss him.

percy looked at the monster with pure rage in his face, his eyes screaming with a need for bloodshed and slaughter. “you’re not going to get away with this.” he whispered venomously under his breath.

the two begin to walk around each other in circles, eyes continuously fixated on the other, every few moments charging towards the opponent who quickly moved away to dodge the attack.

after a few minutes of this game of cat and mouse, percy found a perfect moment to attack, holding his sword in both of his hands and running forward, jumping high and stabbing the monster in the eye, who vanished into dust and away back to the underworld.

he took just a second to regulated his breath again, before turning his attention back to you. he walked over to you, kneeling next to you body and holding you hand in his as he looked at you with tearful eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you…” percy spoke, his voice breaking as he did, lifting your hand up to give it a kiss.

percy just stared at your like this for a few minutes, admiring your beauty as his tears rolled down his face and onto your body.

after what felt like forever, you stirred a bit, eyes fluttering open and making him snap out of his trance. “w-what-“ you began speaking before being interrupted by percy, who quickly leaned down and held you tightly in his arms squeezing you against his chest. “oh, princess… oh, my angel baby… I thought you were dead, do you know how much you scared me?” he quickly said, burying his face in the top of your head and lifting your so that you’ll sit on your knees.

“are-are you okay? are you hurt?” he asked, pulling away to cup you face in his hands. “I-I’m fine, I think… my arm really hurts and my head is thumping, but nothing else, really… what happens?” you answered, looking down at your arm and wincing as you saw the deep cut.

“just this stupid monster, that’s it. but I killed it, it’s all fine now.” he said reassuringly, more reassuring himself than you. he looked at you with a tense expression which slowly relaxed, rubbing your temples with his thumbs softly.

“now, we’re gonna go get you checked out.”

he ended up carrying you all the way back to camp in bridal style, refusing to let you walk.

————————————————————————————

a/n : I’m craving ice cream help a poor girl please🫶🏻

[arc852]

Fault 3/3

Summary: Joel and Jimmy finally have that talk.

Warnings: self-blame, self-deprecation, slight anger and jealousy, and crying

Word Count: 4649

Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3 Link

Sorry this took so long! My brain has been mush when it's come to writing lately. But it's finally done! I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Tango kept the hand holding Jimmy close to his chest as his other hand curled around him in the front, blocking him from view. He walked down the hallway, doing his best to keep steady and being wary and mindful of his surroundings. His eyes were constantly looking around the hall, just waiting for someone’s door to open or for someone to round the corner. Thankfully, the hallway stayed empty as Tango completed the short journey to Grian and Joel’s door.

 After giving one last glance toward both ends of the hallway, he removed the hand curled around the front of Jimmy in order to use it to knock on the door. Though his hand quickly returned back to position right after. He looked down, sharing a small glance with Jimmy in the short time they were waiting for an answer. Jimmy smiled up at him and Tango couldn’t help but smile back.

 His eyes snapped back up to the door though as it opened to reveal Grian. “Oh, hey!” Grian said with a small smile.

 “Hey, Grian! I’m guessing Joel told you, I mean, it’d be weird if he didn’t, but I was hanging out with Jimmy and am just here to drop him back off.” Tango explained and then once again lifted his curled hand to reveal the borrower. Jimmy waved at Grian and Grian’s smile widened a bit more as he saw him. 

 “Yeah, Joel told me. You guys were gone for longer than I thought you’d be though. You guys have fun?” Grian asked though Tango knew the question was mostly directed at Jimmy. So Tango kept quiet as he let Jimmy answer.

 “Yeah! It was great!” Jimmy exclaimed. Tango could feel his heart warm at the confirmation that Jimmy had just as much fun as he had. He nodded along in agreement, once again letting his eyes wander down to Jimmy, looking at him fondly. 

 Movement, however, caught his attention and he looked back up to see Grian holding out his hand. Ah, right. He got the hint. He hesitated for only a moment before he carefully moved his own hand, the one holding Jimmy of course, up against Grian’s in order to give Jimmy the chance to swap hands. He watched as Jimmy stood, stumbling just slightly but quickly catching his balance, and walked onto Grian’s hand.

 Tango patiently waited, only taking his hand back once he was sure Jimmy was fully settled onto Grian’s. As he moved his hand back to his side, Grian gave him a strange look, an almost confused looking one. Tango blinked, having no idea what that kind of look could be for and feeling just as confused himself.

 He decided to ignore it, turning his attention back to Jimmy instead.

 “Thanks again for hanging out with me Jimmy.” Tango said with a hint of shyness in his smile, rubbing the back of his head. “It really was fun.”

 “We’ll have to do it again!” Jimmy said and once again Tango felt his chest warm again, feeling a bit lighter knowing Jimmy wanted to hang out with him again. Tango grinned as he felt himself bounce a bit at the thought.

 “Absolutely.” Tango agreed.

 “You’re welcome to come around any time, Tango.” Grian said as he moved the hand holding Jimmy close to his chest, mirroring the way Tango had been holding him just a moment ago. “Just give us a bit of warning first.”

 “Of course! I’ll shoot you guys a text if I ever feel like I need some Jimmy and me time.” Tango joked, which was followed by Jimmy laughing. Tango grinned, proud of himself for making Jimmy laugh like that.

 As Jimmy’s laughter died down, he looked back up at Tango. “And I’ll have Joel or Grian send a text if I feel the same.” He was grinning, following along with Tango’s joke, but like Tango, also being completely honest. 

 “Sounds like a plan then.” Tango said, shooting Jimmy with a single finger gun and a wink, which made Jimmy chuckle once again. Tango’s grin then lessened only slightly as he continued. “Good luck by the way, with the…ya know.” Tango said, being vague since he wasn’t sure if Jimmy wanted him to be the one to tell Grian about the talk Jimmy was planning on having with Joel or not.

 Grian looked between the two of them in confusion but Jimmy just nodded. “Thanks.” He said simply and Tango knew he was probably correct in not saying anything. He’s sure once Jimmy and Grian were in private that Jimmy would ask for his help and advice in going about it though.

 “Course.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled. “Well, I better get going. I’ll see you later?” Tango still asked, maybe just wanting that little bit of extra confirmation even if he didn’t really need it.

 “See you later!” Jimmy said, excitement flickering in his eyes at the thought.

 “See you around.” Grian chimed in and Tango gave him a nod and a smile too.

 Tango backed away from the door as Grian made to close it. Sending one last wave to the two, though mostly Jimmy, right before the door closed fully. He let out a little happy sigh and was about to start walking back to his dorm before he paused, hearing footsteps behind him. He couldn’t help but turn back around, only to see none other than Joel round the corner. 

 They both froze as their eyes locked and Tango was suddenly reminded of the bit of hostility Joel had shown toward him earlier.

 Joel, meanwhile, as soon as he had seen Tango, tried his best to keep his face carefully neutral. Just because he knew what and why he was feeling the way he was, did not mean he was done with feeling them. No matter how much he didn’t want to feel it, he still felt that spark of jealousy rush through him at the sight of his friend. 

 Joel took a deep breath, trying his best to not let his feelings get the better of him this time. As he did so, his eyes wandered down from Tango’s face to his hands but they appeared to be empty. Considering he was at Joel’s door, he could only assume he had already dropped Jimmy off. Unless Jimmy was in Tango’s pocket, but Joel highly doubted that, what with the way Tango was currently hoodie-less.

 Joel looked back up to meet Tango’s eyes again, wincing as Tango’s eyes seemed to dart between him and the opposite end of the hall. Yeah, fair enough. But even still, Joel had to make things right. And not just with Jimmy. So, Joel was the first one to move, coming closer to both Tango and his door.

 “Tango.” Joel greeted with a nod, stopping only a few feet in front of Tango. He kept his voice low, not wanting Grian or Jimmy to overhear and open the door before he had a chance to talk with Tango a bit.

 Tango nodded back. “Joel.” He then titled his head. “What are you doing out here?” Tango asked. He had been under the impression that he was inside the dorm already, though he supposed it made sense now that Grian was the one to open the door.

 Joel simply shrugged. “Needed a walk.” He mumbled a bit, turning his gaze away for a moment. He had been hoping to be back before Tango dropped Jimmy off, but the walk had been good for him and he’s sure this talk would be too. He just…had to get himself to the actual talking part. He flicked his eyes back toward Tango.

 “I’m…sorry. About earlier.” Joel said, watching closely as Tango’s eyes widened a bit, not having expected the apology. It looked as though Tango wanted to say something but Joel continued before Tango could, wanting to finish the apology first. “I was angry and-and scared. And…maybe a bit jealous too,” he mumbled that bit more to himself, though Tango still clearly heard it. “But I shouldn’t have acted that way toward you either way. So…yeah. Sorry.” He finished lamely.

 His gaze had drifted to looking at anything other than Tango when he started speaking, afraid of how Tango might react to his apology. A hand suddenly came down onto his shoulder, causing Joel to jump and finally drift his gaze back up to Tango’s face. Joel looked at Tango with wide eyes but felt relieved to see a soft smile had settled on Tango’s features. “Hey, I’m not saying this excuses all that but…I get it dude. Trust me.” Tango said before letting his smile grow a bit more. “And I forgive you.”

 Joel…had honestly not expected to be forgiven so easily. Especially with such a bad apology. But Tango didn’t seem like he was lying. Well, if that was the case, this went way better than he thought it was going to. Hopefully that was foreshadowing for his talk with Jimmy. “Thanks.” Joel said after a moment, letting himself smile back at Tango. 

 “Dude, of course. You’re my friend and clearly going through something. Of course I’m gonna forgive you.” Tango said before taking his hand off of Joel’s shoulder. “Maybe just ease up on the snappiness next time?”

 Joel winced but nodded. “Yeah, no, totally.” He could do that.

 Tango nodded. “Then we’re all good.” 

 Man, Joel had the best friends a guy like him could want, huh?

 Grian, Jimmy, Impulse and Tango, they were all there for him in different ways and maybe Joel was just now fully realizing that. Speaking of Impulse though, Joel reminded himself of his earlier conversation with him. “Hey uh, I actually ran into Impulse while I was out walking. He said we should plan to hang out, the four of us. Would uh, would you be…down?”

 Tango grinned. “Yeah man, that sounds fun!”

 Joel smiled, why had he been so nervous to ask? “We’ll have to text about it later then.” He was looking forward to it, the four of them hanging out. It…would be nice if Jimmy could join them, but obviously that probably wouldn’t be happening any time soon.

  Joel glanced over at his door, his smile fading a bit as he realized it was probably time to head in. He sighed. “Well…I better get in there. I have a uh…a talk I gotta have with Jimmy.”

 Tango’s eyes widened, surprised but happy that Joel seemed to be taking the initiative to speak with Jimmy about how he’s been acting. At least, that’s what Tango’s assuming the talk is going to be about. He’ll have to ask Jimmy about it later, but he’s pretty sure considering Joel had already taken the initiative with Tango himself. Tango smiled.

 “Good luck.” Tango said. “But I don’t think you’ll need it.”

 Joel hummed, a lot of thoughts circling in his head. “You think?”

 Tango shrugged. “I know.”

 Joel bit his lip, not knowing how Tango could possibly know. “How?” He asked and Tango raised his eyebrow, sending him a look.

 “Cause it’s Jimmy.” Tango said and oh. Yeah. Tango did actually have a point there. At the very least, it made Joel feel a bit better about all this. 

 “Right.” He said. “Right.” This was Jimmy and he knew Jimmy. Things would be okay. He just had to keep telling himself that. “I’ll catch you later then.” 

 “See ya.” Tango said with a little wave before turning around and heading back to his dorm. Joel watched him go for a moment, but didn’t wait for Tango to turn the corner before unlocking his door and heading inside.

 As he closed the door behind him, his ears perked up at the sound of a few hushed voices. He turned around and scanned the room, only to see Grian and Jimmy at Grian’s desk. Grian was leaned back in his chair, his laptop open but pushed back to give Jimmy room to stand where the laptop had once been. They appeared to be talking, but when Joel walked a bit further into the room they paused and looked over at him. 

 Well, now Joel just felt awkward.

 Grian gave Joel a little head nod in greeting before turning back to Jimmy. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” He said before pushing off the desk and standing up. He walked past Joel, Joel moving out of the way when he realized Grian was heading for the door.

 Joel glanced over at Jimmy and then back to Grian, confused in more ways than one. “Where are you going?” Joel asked, but Grian just shrugged, a small smile on his face.

 “Just giving you two some privacy.” Was all Grian said before he was gone. Joel hearing the lock click into place.

 “Right…” Joel muttered to himself. He had half expected Grian to stick around for Joel’s talk with Jimmy, Grian could be nosy like that sometimes. But he was glad Grian decided to leave it to them this time. He mentally braced himself before turning to look back at Jimmy. He was still in the same spot, looking up at Joel with eyes filled with what seemed to be…determination? Weird.

 Joel took in a deep breath, psyching himself up for this. He took a few steps closer, until he was right up against Grian’s chair. He gripped the top of it to ground himself and was just about to open his mouth and start talking when, surprisingly, Jimmy beat him to it.

 “Joel…what’s been going on with you lately?” Jimmy asked, not unkindly but Joel couldn’t help but tense up anyway. “Because you’ve just seemed kind of…off lately.” Jimmy continued. Joel wanted to cover his face in his hands and groan and had to fight the urge to do so. Was he just…that obvious? At the very least he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it from Jimmy. But apparently not. And that just made him feel even worse.

 Joel let out a deep sigh. At least Jimmy bringing it up first gave him a good place to start. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Joel said and suddenly he couldn’t look into Jimmy’s eyes anymore. “I…I’m sorry.”

 Jimmy blinked, looking confused all of a sudden. “You’re sorry? For what?”

 Joel winced. “For what happened. For not…for letting you fall out of my pocket.” Joel said, his grip around the back of Grian’s chair becoming tighter. He let his eyes wander back to the borrower, too curious of Jimmy’s reaction. When he saw that Jimmy’s eyes were wide with what Joel could only assume was surprise, well, Joel couldn’t say he had been expecting that.

 “For letting me-what? Joel, you didn’t let anything happen, it was an accident!” Jimmy exclaimed, raising his hands up as he did. His hands quickly fell and Jimmy’s wide-eyed expression grew softer, sadder. “You do know that right? That it wasn’t your fault.”

 Joel was silent. He couldn’t very well answer that the way Jimmy wanted him to without lying.

 Jimmy seemed to deflate at his silence. “Joel…” 

 “It’s hard to see how it isn’t my fault.” Joel said after a few moments of silence had passed. Joel had done everything wrong. He hadn’t been careful, he had been going too fast, he hadn’t had his hand in the pocket with Jimmy…Everything pointed to him being the one at fault for what had happened.

 Jimmy looked at Joel sadly, mind racing for something he could do. As the idea came to him, he stood up straighter, his determination back like a fire. “Joel.” Jimmy said in order to gain back Joel’s attention. As soon as the human’s eyes were back on him, Jimmy continued. “Come here.” Jimmy practically ordered. Joel blinked, taken aback by the sudden command but he obeyed. Stepping around the chair and coming right up next to the desk, looming over Jimmy in a way that Joel usually tried to avoid nowadays.

 Jimmy nodded at him but he was far from done. “Hand.” Jimmy said next, pointing to right in front of him. Joel was still trying to figure out where this was going but he laid his hand flat at where Jimmy had pointed anyway, his palm up. As soon as his hand had come to a stop, Jimmy wasted no time climbing up and onto Joel’s hand. He took a seat in the center of Joel’s palm before looking back up at him. “Up.”

 Joel couldn’t help the deadpan look and the slight curve of his lips even as he did what Jimmy asked. “I’m not a dog you know.” Joel said quietly, just a hint of his usual sarcasm. Jimmy also let his lips curve into a brief smile before his features schooled back into his look of determination. Joel brought him up, making sure his hand was as steady as ever before stopping at chest level. But it seemed like that wasn’t enough.

 “Higher.” Jimmy said, still pointing up. Joel did so, bringing his hand to eye level. “Now closer.” Jimmy said and Joel was getting increasingly more and more confused about what the heck Jimmy was doing. But he continued to do as Jimmy said. He brought Jimmy closer to his face and paused when any closer would have Jimmy actually touching his face.

 Though that seemed to be exactly Jimmy’s plan.

 As soon as he stopped his hand, Jimmy stood up and went forward, gripping the top sides of his nose. The sudden closeness of the borrower forced Joel to look at him cross-eyed and caused him to tense, not expecting Jimmy to do something like that. He was afraid that one wrong twitch would have Jimmy falling so he carefully moved his other hand underneath the one holding Jimmy, just in case. “J-Jimmy?” Joel stuttered out, wondering what the heck the borrower was doing.

 He could feel the slight pressure on his nose increase just a bit more as Jimmy looked him right in the eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.” Jimmy said sternly, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

 Joel tried anyway. “But-”

 “Nope,” Jimmy cut him off. “It wasn’t your fault and I don’t blame you for it. Of course I don’t blame you for it, it was an accident.” Jimmy’s expression turned sad once more, though his determination hadn’t gone away either. “And I’m fine. Everything worked out and nothing too bad actually happened.”

 Joel couldn’t help but look away, huffing a bit. Though it was hard when he couldn’t move his head and Jimmy was literally taking up almost his entire vision. “Only because of Tango…” Joel muttered. But of course, Jimmy heard it and it caused his previous look of confusion to come back.

 “Wait, what?” Jimmy asked. He briefly leaned back due to his confusion but very quickly went back and leaned in even closer, forcing Joel to look back at him again. “What about Tango?”

 What about Tango? Did Jimmy not see it? The fact that Tango was the whole reason Jimmy was even okay in the first place? “Come on, Jim. The only reason ‘nothing too bad’ even happened was because Tango was there to save you.” Joel said, a lot more snappy than he had wanted.

 Jimmy blinked and the fact that Joel was making Jimmy so confused was starting to get to him a bit. “And you’re…upset with Tango because of that?” Okay, when Jimmy said it like that it really didn’t make any sense. No wonder Jimmy was so confused.

 Joel winced and sighed and if Jimmy wasn’t right up on his face he would have used his free hand to rub at his face. “No. Yes? It’s…complicated?” Joel was doing a terrible job explaining this so far. “...That was one of the other things I wanted to bring up, actually.” 

 In order to continue talking properly though, he needed Jimmy not so close to his face. So, carefully, he brought his free hand up and pinched Jimmy’s sides. He didn’t use the pinched grip to lift him though, just to move him away from his face and back into the center of his palm. Jimmy tensed slightly as Joel’s fingers pinched him but otherwise he simply let it happen. As soon as Jimmy was away from his face, he let go of his pinched grip and then brought his hand farther down so it was resting back at chest level.

 “There’s…a lot more I have to bring up too.” Joel said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “I ran into Impulse earlier and he helped me figure out what to say but it’s still…hard.” He finished lamely before sighing again. “But yeah, I think I’ve been feeling a bit…jealous lately. Of Tango.”

 “Jealous? Because he was the one who saved me?” Jimmy asked, still looking just as confused as he sounded. Joel shrugged.

 “I mean, yeah…” Joel groaned and shook his head. Why were feelings so hard to explain? “But also like today, you wanted to hang out with him. And…and maybe it was my fault for assuming, but I really thought you would say no to him? Because of what happened? And when you didn’t, I just…I don’t know. I was upset.”

 “...I did notice that you didn’t seem to want me to go with Tango.” Jimmy said after a moment.

 Joel winced. Yet another thing he hadn’t hid as well as he thought he had. “I’m sorry.” Gosh, why was he so bad at this? “But that’s not all of it. I’ve been mad at myself because I blame myself for what happened, I’ve been jealous of Tango for being the one to save you, but I’ve also been…” Joel trailed off, looking away.

 Jimmy stood up in Joel’s palm, which caused Joel’s eyes to flick back over to him. His other hand was already coming up close just in case Jimmy lost his balance. “Also been what?” Jimmy asked, his voice soft, inviting Joel to continue.

 Joel let out a small sigh. “I’ve been…scared. Scared of you being hurt or worse, and…and scared of you leaving.”

 “Leaving?” Jimmy’s eyes were wide again. “Joel, I wouldn’t-”

 “But you could.” And oh, saying it out loud was causing a few tears to leak from Joel’s eyes. “I-I couldn’t even blame you if you did. I should be able to keep you safe and yet you fell out of my pocket and almost died. You fell into a glue trap and almost died. I can’t…obviously I can’t protect you, so why would you even stay if I’m just putting you in danger?” Joel was full on crying now, angry tears streaming down his face. He didn’t want to say these words, didn’t want to believe them. But it was so hard to see them as lies.

 “Joel-”

 Joel shook his head, cutting off Jimmy without even really meaning to, so lost in his own self-blame. “I-I’ve messed up so much that I shouldn’t even really be holding you right now. I shouldn’t be-” Joel cut himself off as he realized he didn’t even feel worthy enough to hold Jimmy anymore. He tried to lower his hands back down to the desk, intent on letting Jimmy off.

 “Joel Beans, don't you dare put me down.” Jimmy said and Joel froze, staring down at Jimmy with wide tear filled eyes.

 Silence filled the room as Jimmy took a deep breath, processing everything Joel had just said. Joel couldn’t help but feel like he had messed this talk up. He was supposed to be telling Jimmy how he felt, which he supposed he was, but calmly and rationally. Not letting his emotions get the best of him. Not letting his own insecurities and fears win again.

 He felt another apology on the tip of his tongue but before he could say it out loud, Jimmy spoke, breaking the silence first. “Joel, I trust you completely.” Jimmy said, surprising Joel. Out of everything, he certainly wasn’t expecting Jimmy to start with that. “You’ve earned my trust over these last few months. At this point I don’t even think-no, I know you would never do anything that would make me want to leave. Ever.”

 Joel bit his lip, trying to focus on Jimmy’s words, but his mind kept swirling around those same anxieties. “But just two days ago I almost hurt-”

 “No.” Jimmy said, cutting off Joel before he could start spiralling again. Joel’s mouth snapped closed. “You didn’t do anything. I almost got hurt, yes, but you didn’t do anything.” Jimmy’s hardened gaze softened. “Joel, it wasn’t your fault. It was just a series of accidents that happened to end with me on the floor. I don’t blame you at all for it.” Jimmy’s eyes went sad as he stared right into Joel’s eyes. “So I wish you would stop blaming yourself.”

 “I-”

 Jimmy cut him off again. “And before you bring up the glue trap, that definitely wasn’t your fault. You had no idea and I was the one who walked right into it.”

 “But I feel like I’ve been failing to protect you.” Joel said, his shoulders tense but his hands never wavering in their steadiness. 

 Jimmy shook his head. “No, Joel, you haven’t failed at anything. You protect me when I most need it. You…you might not be able to  protect me all the time, but that has nothing to do with what you think is failing.” Jimmy reached out and grabbed hold of one of Joel’s fingers, hoping it would help ground Joel, even just a little bit. Joel let out a little gasp but didn’t try to pull his finger away.  

 “Joel?” Jimmy spoke again when Joel didn’t say anything. That gained him back Joel’s wavering attention due to his thoughts. “Can you lift me up higher again?”

 Joel blinked, a few more tears escaping as he did so, but nodded and carefully lifted his hand so that Jimmy was eye level with him again. Jimmy let go of Joel’s finger in favor of touching Joel’s face again. He reached over to below Joel’s eye and wiped a tear away, uncaring that his hand was now soaked. “I trust you.” Jimmy said, staring right in Joel’s eyes, not a hint of hesitation in his features. “I trust you and I’m not leaving and I don’t blame you for anything.” Jimmy repeated, tilting his head and giving Joel a soft smile as he did so. “Okay?”

 Doubt still circled around in Joel’s mind. But seeing Jimmy so earnestly tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he was trusted, well…Joel couldn’t help but believe Jimmy. And he knew, deep down, that that bit of doubt would never leave. There would always be things that Joel would blame himself for, especially when it came to Jimmy. But, at least for now, he felt like he could deal with it. With Jimmy’s help, at least.

 “Okay.” Joel said, his voice as soft as Jimmy’s smile.

 “Good.”

 It was silent for a moment.

 “So…are you feeling any better?” Jimmy asked, his grin urging for the answer to be a yes. He leaned further against Joel’s face, causing Joel’s nose to twitch a little.

 Joel couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the look Jimmy was giving him. “I guess.” Joel groaned out. He poked at Jimmy’s side gently, making sure there was no real strength to the poke. Jimmy remained steady leaning against Joel’s face. “You couldn’t just let me wallow in my own self-blame, huh?”

 “Joel…”

 Joel sighed. “I know, I know.” He paused for a moment. “Serious answer is I will be.”

 Jimmy sighed but smiled softly. “Well, I’ll be here to keep reminding you then.”

 Joel smiled back. “Yeah. Yeah you will be.”

[youandthemountains]

"#still losing my mind over the beta canon where bones lives with spock on vulcan when Amanda gets ill and then passes away#and Spock's like yeah my dad liked him so much <3"

where's that from???

It's from The Autobiography of Mr. Spock by Una McCormick!

[trashyshrew]

big admirer of your work! you asked for drawing suggestions–would love to see your take on lawlight snuggled up together relaxing in bed or something! absolutely starved for soft content of these two

[hxhhasmysoul]

i saw you mentioned that killua has an addictive personality. would u write more on that topic? i agree with you but i dont know how to articulate it for myself hah

I could point to the obvious thing, the chocrobos and sweets in general. Sugar is addictive in real life but like which all such substances some are more vulnerable to them than others. And Killua seems to have developed a chocolate habit.

But I think his tendency towards gambling is far more telling.

Killua loves rivalry, he loves competitions and he will try to gamify stuff he does with Gon. But at least in their competitions with each other Gon can work as a safety valve because he's also obsessive and self destructive and Killua's care for Gon would curb his risk addiction. That and the fact that with Gon they get into really life threatening situations and the self-preservation Killua's family forced into him, kicks in too.

But when the stakes are not life threatening, when it's money... Killua can't handle money. He loses all of their Heaven's Arena winnings on internet auctions. Then Bisky has to drag him away from the slot machines in Greed Island.

When there's no threat to his or Gon's safety, Killua has absolutely no breaks and because Gon leans on him for the planning and for knowledge about the world, considering Gon's much more sheltered childhood, Killua's on his own to control himself and he absolutely can't.

Maybe needing to provide for Alluka will also work as a decent safety valve for the gambling. Maybe he will be more careful with the money he needs for her.

But I don't think he sees that he has this problem. He's always been rich and capable to make quick and easy money. He's also capable of roughing it for a while, and Gon was too. But I doubt he'd want to put Alluka in that situation. Maybe being with her will make him realise he needs to work on this.

[somegrumpynerd]

I read your post about if nightmare gives up his boys & my heart was aching so badly ;w;

Dadmare want what's best for his boys 😭

He does!! As much as he hates to admit it, they mean the world to him and he wants them all to be happy. Not only because of what they've done for him in helping him not hate the world anymore, but after all they've been through themselves.

Even if it meant he wouldn't see them anymore, he couldn't stand the idea that he was hurting them by keeping them trapped with him y'know? If you love somebody you have to let them go and be free. But also, maybe he could come and visit sometimes if they moved out? Or they could visit him? Please 🥺

Thankfully it doesn't come to that though, they like staying outside the castle sometimes for a little break but none of them plan on leaving, it's what they all consider home <3

Or, as Dust would put it if Nightmare asked, "we haven't paid rent in like 6 years, what kind of idiot would move out??"

[necrotic-nephilim]

this is an invitation to ramble about slade/batboy ships: sladick, sladejay, sladetim, sladedami, and other batfam member/villain ships, especially jayroman and ra'stim :)

AAAAAA this is so delightful oh my god thank you. adding a read more just because this one is going to get Long to cover all the ships and all my opinions. because my god do i love Slade.

firstly, the original Robin/villain ship, SlaDick. Slade Wilson, literally created to be a Teen Titans villains, with the original Robin he cannot be normal about ever. i'm so sad there's not much interest in Slade aside from making him a generic Evil Guy who canonically likes teenagers because i think to just boil down his complex with Dick to 'weird attraction' robs them of SUCH nuance. Slade *trusts* Dick, he trusts Dick enough to ask Dick to train his own daughter Rose. and initially Slade's complex over Dick isn't sexual, it's seeing Dick as a replacement for his dead son, Grant. that's messy as hell and i love them for it. i don't think there's a single villain that has the respect for Dick that Slade has. i'm always of the opinion Dick's attraction to Slade is rooted in daddy issues and Slade's attraction to Dick is rooted in dead son issues. do i think they could end up as an old married couple? yes but only in a world where Dick is completely broken and feels alone. my favorite SlaDick flavor is post-Jason's death. Dick and Bruce are arguably at their worst during that era to begin with so Dick is pretty isolated and emotionally unstable. and Slade would take such advantage of that, swooping in to offer Dick emotional stability and fucked up sex to get out pent up emotions. (i'm big a big fan of Dick fucking out his feelings tbh) and Slade is just. this sort of bad habit Dick will kick for a year or two then come crawling back to. you can directly track how well Bruce and Dick are getting along based on how many times Dick has slept with Slade recently. and that's the prize, for Slade. knowing Dick will come back to him, eventually. it's all about patience. and if something really extreme happened to Dick (like Bruce's fake death) i think they'd even date briefly. it's not entirely impossible for Dick to date someone he disagrees with morally (see: his flings with Helena) and i think Dick would keep trying to 'save' Slade, using the upper hand he has of filling in this role of Slade's dead son to try to domesticate him. would it work? who knows but if anyone is going to try over and over, it's going to be Dick. it's practically self-harm for Dick yet the only thing keeping him sane. i love them.

SladeJay is... an interesting one for me. because i like the *potential*. but they have no significant interactions pre-Flashpoint. and while usually i can forgive New-52 and Rebirth for their grievances if it has ship fodder i just... can't do that for Jason. Judd Winick's Jason is the only Jason that exists to me so even Slade and Jason's canon interactions matter little to me because it's not the version of Jason i care for. the upside of that though, is it's more of a sandbox to explore what they could be and there are no limitations. i can just run wild. which is fun bc. you're telling me Slade wouldn't be so drawn in by the idea of a dead Robin who's come back and is now the antithesis of Bruce's morality? i think at some point Slade would want to poke the bear, really see what Red Hood is made of. do i see them working long-term? no but i do think Jason would have zero qualms working with Slade if he got something out of it. and if he could fuck with Bruce or Dick by having a short, fucked up relationship with Slade? that's even better. i don't think Slade could ever truly respect Jason, at the end of the day the Dick Grayson standard is too high and Slade would sneer at the idea of a legacy who fucked it up so bad he got blown up. but, he'd see that as Bruce's failure more than Jason's. and for Jason to have someone look him in the eye and say that Bruce *failed* him? i think that'd just *do* something to Jason. and Slade has lost a son, he knows what that loss feels like, how you feel you failed as a father. would he have interest in being fatherly to Jason? no but i think he'd have fun momentarily manipulating Jason and seeing what reactions he gets out of what jeers. Jason's been calling himself a failure this whole time, so to have someone else say it is no real big deal, but to have someone else say it's Bruce's fault and voice Jason's feelings? they'd have the most fucked up sex with the most unhealthy dirty talk that's both gentle and degrading. i don't think Jason would ever let himself get too close, he's far too emotionally guarded. but for a second, i think he'd fantasize about having even *half* the amount of attention that Slade gives Dick. bc what has Jason always been, but in Dick's shadow.

SladeTim. my two blorbos. in one place. somewhere in my drafts i have a half-started longfic about SladeTim that's one half really fucked up porn and one half slowburn feelings. arguably Tim and Slade don't have many canon interactions, but it's fun to me that when they do, Slade always seems sort of startled by how well Tim fights back and Tim's willingness to fight dirty in a way even Dick doesn't. and to me, that's the crux of this ship. as far as Robins go, Tim should sort of slip under the radar for Slade. he's not the dead one turned villain, he's not the grandson of Ra's al Ghul, hell he's not even the child of a second-rate villain like Steph, he's not *the* Dick Grayson, he's just... the other one. grew up pretty rich and normal and fell for all of Bruce's wax poetic nonsense. so when Tim puts himself on the map as a hero, makes himself a worthy opponent against Slade that's interesting. even to Tim, Slade isn't a particularly remarkable villain since Slade cares to stay more on Dick's radar. so when they cross paths there's a lot of unexpected. neither of them have thought about the other too hard. so there's this interest and intrigue about it i love. i'm a big fan of the idea Tim is a massive masochist, both physically and emotionally and Slade is The Sadist Ever so. i like them falling into bed together and having the most fucked up sex. like Tim just being a Weird Little Freak so fucked up even Slade raises an eyebrow. because this isn't what you *expect* of a kid like Tim, who's had a pretty easy life before tangling with vigilantes. he should be like a fish out of water, but instead he's matching Slade's energy in ways even Dick doesn't. and of course, how smart he is, that's an asset. it takes a special kind of kid to have the audacity to poison Lady Shiva with hotel chocolates and pull it *off* no less. it earns a begrudging respect, and it's rare to get Slade to respect someone. i really like the idea of Tim seeking Slade out only for fucked up sex and somehow Slade falls for this weird little freak who's cold and clinical outside of sex and keeps him guessing.

i'll be honest i've only considered SladeDami in the context of seeing antis say 'omg Slade has been predatory toward Damian ewww' and going 'no the fuck he hasn't but if you want that so bad i'll ship it just to spite you all' but their canon interactions do fascinate me. a lot of how they interact is predicated on Slade as a father, even more so than SlaDick. like Slade will fight Damian and then be like 'hey be good to your old man fathers need their sons' and fucking dip. and then with the whole Respawn thing and Shadow War? that was extra crunchy. for a brief moment Slade had a son who was a brother to Damian and then he goes and *dies*? talk about the complex that would give him with Damian, the spitting image of Respawn. Make Slade Weird About Batkids That Remind Him of His Son 2024. Damian holds an utter contempt for Slade that is simply unmatched. so Slade not leaving that kid alone because of his weird issues, making sure that Bruce doesn't screw up with Damian the way he screwed up with Respawn is very fun. and Damian slowly building up a tolerance to Slade's annoying antics could be fun. Damian is, at his core, still just a kid who needs the approval of something father-shaped and he will Take What He Can Get. are they ever healthy or long lasting? no but i do think Damian would cling to Slade during his teen years for something incredibly fucked up and codependent until either Slade dumped him or he forced himself to get over it.

JayRoman. i will not lie love these two but i don't think i've read many Black Mask comics when he's not interacting with Jason. which is funny because my entire conception of Roman is him just getting humiliated by Jason and really what more is there to know about the man. Jason is so unserious in how he handles Roman and the best part is you can tell it's truly because he doesn't see Roman as a threat. Roman's just a pawn in the game of getting Bruce's attention and sure, Jason is aiming to kill Roman by the end of it, but he'll always have bigger fish to fry. and that's so *infuriating* for Roman. this new guy who's *clearly* a fucking teenager shows up, owns you so badly it shatters your empire, and then you only live bc he seems to have gotten bored of you. JayRoman is my particular favorite ship for the flavor of 'the sub in bed is in control of every other aspect of their relationship and their submission is a gift that can be revoked at any time' which we don't get enough. fucked up power dynamics always have the sub being the one lacking control. and whilst i enjoy when Roman is able to absolutely control and manipulate Jason through various means, i think in canon, it makes far more sense he's pathetic and begging Jason for even a *chance*. and Jason very specifically picking who he subs for based on someone who he could kill or destroy at the drop of the hat if he needed to is a very Jason thing to do. there will never be trust between these two. they will fuck nasty and Roman will be in love with Jason. but they are both carrying a gun during sex. the gun is probably involved during the sex.

Ra'sTim. my everything. Red Robin (2009) you will always be famous to me. what *don't* they have. forced proximity. enemies to lovers. forced partnership. one-sided obsession. ridiculously large age gap. deep unforgivable betrayal. i will never evacuate these two from my brain dear god. Ra's is another one of those villains who gets painted with one broad stroke of being cartoonishly evil with no exploration of his interesting nuance. making him nothing but a villain is boring. where is the Ra's who loves so deeply and fully and has to lose his loved ones over and over and will not let that happen to Tim. he wants to consume Tim in a 'cannibalism as a metaphor for love but also probably literal cannibalism' way. the amount of trust put in Ra's in order for Tim to be able to betray him as spectacularly as he did? that's glorious. Tim had full unfiltered access to Ra's' computers even when he was advised against trusting Tim so much. and then Tim wins against Ra's and willingly lets Ra's kill him. (obviously Dick saves him, but I'm of the opinion Tim was just committed to dying in that moment and he was Okay With That) 'i will betray you if it's the last thing i do' as an act of love. Tim is to Ra's what Dick is to Slade. you will never convince me Tim and Ra's didn't hatefuck at least once during RR (2009) with a questionable level of consent. i'm so serious i will never shut up about them. the way Tim talks about working with Ra's as if he's making a deal with the devil and Ra's talks about Tim like he's the precious, once in a life time thing, one of the only people worthy to produce an heir for Ra's. how's that not gay. what other ship involved one of them literally trying to have the other's baby to raise as an heir. Ra's would probably carry the baby himself if he could. memes aside they're just so. they're so it. i love when Tim is forced into a Situation where he has to work with Ra's and confronts the darker aspects of himself that Ra's wants to bring out but Tim wants to squash. it is The corruption kink. whether Ra's succeeds or not in corrupting Tim doesn't even matter because the real crux of this ship is the chase. it's the way the heart pounds when they reach out for each other and you don't know if it's for a kiss or a killing blow. it's very Hannigram to me, in that i don't even need or want them to kiss to know they're in love. love to them is not true love's kiss, it's the thoughtful place they decide to stab the other in. be the sheath to my dagger type ship. hold all this bloody violence i know you're capable of inside of you. let me cut the violence out of you ship. what more can you ask for from a ship. Ra's would tie Tim down and torture him both as foreplay and as a love language and Tim would be too fucked up and self-sacrificial to stop him. always playing the dangerous game of how far will the other let them go until someone tries to die or kill. listen i think i lost the plot here but my point is they're unwell about each other. Tim will make Ra's regret the day he met Tim Drake not just for the betrayal but because Ra's can never go back to a time Before Tim. before knowing what the chase felt like. they're so. them.

[lynzishell]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. Anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! If you want to play and/or haven't done so recently, of course! :)

Okay look... #1 Goal of 2025... Don't take 3 months to answer Asks! 🫣😂 That's your bonus fact.. now let's get on with the rest:

I am very sensitive when it comes to sound. I love silence and white noise, and I love loud music blasting in my earbuds. Anything in between runs the risk of making me incredibly agitated, so I wear earbuds any time I leave my home, regardless if they're on or not.

I am a morning person. Didn't used to be. During the pandemic, the mornings were the only time I could be alone, and the only time the house was quiet. So, I'd get up 2 hours before everyone else, and it just stuck. Most days I'm up at 4am, but Dec-Feb it's more like 5-6am because the short, gloomy days of the PNW weigh on me after a while.

I am currently learning Danish. I had signed up for duo lingo a while ago with the intent of brushing up on my French because I have characters in my story who speak French... but after that awful November day, I started dreaming of moving to Denmark and switched to learning Danish instead. It's honestly the most fun I've ever had learning a language!

[crystallizsch]

Hello! I really like your art and comics with Jamil and your OC. It looks very cute!

I just want your thoughts on this as a Jamil lover. I really like Jamil but Idk why??? I like him so much that I cry whenever I don't get his card or daily greetings at login. He's not usually my type like Izuku or Tanjiro. Just want to know your thoughts since you like Jamil hehe. It's ok if you don't respond!

AAH THANK YOU SO MUCH it means a lot to hear you like them i really appreciate it!! 💖💕💖💕💖

ANYWAYS as a jamil enthusiast i ask myself that question too 🤠;;

dont know what kinda hypnotizing magic he did on me but it worked bc i was incredibly neutral about jamil when i first saw him and now he lives in my head rent-free

okay in all seriousness i ended up rambling about jamil and why i like him personally and it ended up longer than intended so uh proceed with caution under the cut 🧍

(i had to look up the characters you mentioned,,, i know both of the anime but BARELY know the characters so idk how to compare other than they seem to be the benevolent hero/protagonist type???) (so on that note theyre actual opposites??? of jamil 😭)

okay so for me i personally just find jamil’s character really fascinating (and relatable???)

like his character arc drew me in i think, i legit do not recall 100% how i started liking him bc he was NOT my usual type either

i saw him before book 4 and went “okay” 🤷 and moved on 😭

my usual type is kalim actually (the sunshine type with a depressing reason for being all sunshine-y lmao) but. i did not vibe at first with how kalim looks so i didnt really get attached to him either 🤧 (im absolutely fine with him now tho 😭 ive learned to appreciate him more thanks to other kalim enjoyers)

(and tbf a lot of twst characters i didnt think i would like but here we are)

back to jamil. alright maybe it’s his looks. maybe bc he’s a pretty guy idk. but if that’s the case i wouldve been all over vil bc he’s the definition of beautiful gorgeous guy who doesnt fw with gender norms but im NOT. instead it’s JAMIL.

i think it doesn’t help that aladdin is one of my favorite disney movies too 😭 jafar has that two-faced, manipulative disposition with a side of dramatic, and insane and that’s. actually just jamil.

so maybe i guess what drew me in with jamil is that sense of theatrics, the dramatics ;;; that dichotomy of having that level-headed, intelligent front he puts up but then also having this unhinged, unfiltered side that he shows when he is free to be more himself

i’m a sucker for seemingly calm and collected characters on the outside and then their true self being WAY more different and expressive

(i think this would make more sense if you’ve seen aladdin and if you remember how jafar is like in the movie) (i am also choosing to ignore that ONE scene with jafar and jasmine towards the end iykyk) (and the twst characters shouldnt be considered one-to-one with their disney counterparts anyway but i digress)

also scalding sands event my beloved it might be what actually sold me on him bc things like his little sister reveal and his childhood stories wrecked me

(also also i’m obsessed with his canon dynamic with kalim but that’s another thing altogether)

or maybe it’s not that deep and that i just grew attached for no particular reason 🧍 (and that reasoning in of itself should be completely fine as well if that’s your case! just. like who you like, there really doesnt have to be a reason as long as you enjoy them)

uhhhh in conclusion,,, jamil’s a really complex character tbh i could say so much more about his relatability but i feel like im already exposing myself a lot LMAO and i dont think i can properly articulate with words anyway how deeper his character is beyond my surface level thoughts

[spicyboelives]

i just came across your phantom art and it has infiltrated my bloodstream….…. i am now Addicted, it’s SO good. which is i’ve come here to humbly ask……. would you please give us some lore/backstory for your version of the story……. (if not that is okay, have a good day 🦉)

Sure! I only have a few points though, as the majority of the story would stay the same.

Firstly I think Meg Giry and Christine (hes trans and he kept his OG name) would still be thick as thieves, though her characterisation would be more true to the books. So a bit spoiled and rowdy but well meaning.

Erik would be envious of their friendship, but as hes protective of the theater and to an extent the younger dancers I doubt he'd be aggressive to her.

Eriks disposition here is closer to Charles Dances portrayal than Gerard Butlers. As he truely feels he has 0 chance (like the probablity of him sucessfully getting someone to look past his features AND be gay with him is low in his opinion). Though he would be fiercely over protective and seethingly jealous when Raoul showed up- (Raouls is chill but would run the risk of outting Christine).

Christine for his part, would likely be jumping all over this sewer dwelling man. From his POV hes given him a ton of attention, skills to advance his career, and i dont think would be put off from the mask or scars at all. Given that he often has to hide his true self out of fear of others reactions too.

Im pretty sure in the orginal story theres a ton of metaphors about Christine comings of age as a young woman but imo im skipping that and just pushing the metaphors moreso in the direction of: sextuality/societal expectations/class privileges and ✨friendship✨.

&Evertime Erik sings to Christine its with a sicknass electric guitar but when he sings to others he uses traditional instruments.

This is to signify how their relationship would be considered out of place & unaccepted in their time period, though never the less it is sick as fuck

[desertfangs]

Do you think Marius ever viewed Daniel's turning through the blood and noticed the similarities, how his own experience of turning Armand was replayed 500 years later by his child with another mortal boy who wanted to live in darkness forever?

Do you think he was proud of the care Armand took with Daniel in his final hours and moments? That he may have reflected on his own traumatic turning and been glad that he was at least able to prevent Armand, and by extension Daniel, from receiving the dark gift in the same way?

Help I made myself emotional ☹️

You made me emotional! 😭 When I first read this I just stared at it for a bit and thought 'damn I really love these three.' So thank you for that! I do think Marius must have seen Daniel's turning through the blood but also, I can imagine Daniel told him all about it, too. What we got in DM is beautiful but I'm sure there are plenty of details left out and I can see Daniel talking about it one night when he's feeling emotional about being a vampire, maybe not long after his recovery.

I think at lot about that elusive time after Daniel is healed from his madness, before PL, when Marius and Daniel's relationship is evolving. I don't know how close or distant Armand was to them at that time--clearly he was not with them, but what kind of contact they had and how regular it was is anyone's guess. But I imagine Daniel spent a lot of that time reflecting on being immortal and how that came to be, and everything that transpired, and I can see him telling the whole story of his turning to Marius one night while they're cuddled on the sofa or just having a quiet evening.

And I do think Marius must be proud of Armand for how he did Daniel's turning, the way he shaved him and prepped him for immortality so lovingly, the way he used his illusion of the garden, etc. (I also wonder if it's something Armand and Marius ever talked about it, either on Night Island, or later. Harder to see that coming up, although then again, when Marius sees Armand again for the first time in centuries, he's got this shiny new fledgling, so maybe they did discuss it.)

But I especially agree that he probably loves that despite what may have happened afterward, both Armand and Daniel were born into darkness in the most loving and gentle way, nothing like how Marius was taken against his will and tortured and forced into it. And his own turning of Pandora, too, was sort of foisted upon him and done hurriedly, without preparation or planning, so having been able to give Amadeo that ritualistic, loving turning was probably so important to him, even though it was done under the pressure of Amadeo being on the brink of death. And knowing Armand did similar for his only fledgling must warm his heart.

These three have so much love between them. There's a lot of trauma and mess passed down, too, but having such a pivotal thing be done to them out of love is just.. so important. No matter how much Armand and Marius may come at odds, or how often Armand and Daniel fight, they will always have that and know they were brought into immortality with love and adoration. And that makes me emotional AF. 🤧

[raising-harmony]

{Pelipper Mail~!}

[Inside of the gifted parcel is a set of twin set dresses along with another one set dress.

The twin set dresses shows a white top, ruffled around the wider collar along with wider sleeves. The shirt is stitched to a pleated skirt, one pale yellow and the other one pale pink, it reaches just below the knees, the fabric somewhat glittering when in sunlight. The middle of the dress where the stitches are is covered up with a fabric sash in the previously mentioned colours, the sash is tied in a bow aligning directly in the middle.

The one set dress shows a slightly longer frame than the previous dresses, reaching just above the ankles with the petticoat sewn into the inside of the dress, giving it a fluffier look and feeling. The dress is a soft white that fades slowly to a pale purple as it reaches the bottom. Alike the previous dresses; the collar is also slightly ruffled, however this one is sleeveless unlike the other two. The middle of the dress has a pale purple sash tied into a bow, resting on the left side of the dress.

There are no tags on these dresses, they were clearly homemade, or at the very least expensive judging by the soft and rich fabric. On-top of the neatly folded dresses is a letter;

"A gift for the little ones. I thought they deserved some more dresses and I did not wish for the little prince to feel left out due to his sisters getting one each, so I made him one as well. I apologise if they're a bit too big, I did eyeball the measurements so they may be slightly off, but I do hope they enjoy them nonetheless."

The letter isn't signed.]

My word. I never really expected that someone would care so much as to do this for the children... I'm not quite sure what to make of it. But the girls simply adore their new dresses, and they look wonderful. So thank you. You're very skilled with your craft.

That being said, however, I won't be giving the dress to N. While I appreciate the effort to include him, little boys have no reason to be wearing dresses. I don't want to confuse him.

[iobsesswaytoomuch]

Throws this at you

ANHSGYCFASTYXFAYSFXFYQSXQHVSHGVWCDGHVWCDHVGWCSHGUUAAAHHHH???? AWWWWWWWWGVUFSDUGGCVGHCWEGHVFEWYFGEDWFGJYDWEJGFYDVJYDEYGJV

HHSBHJCEGHWECDGDFWYFWGEUGWEDTYFGHVHGVFVHWEFYFFFWY

I AH UH AH AW AWWWWW? THIS IS ADORABLE

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT

Whelp, new phone background!!! :D *stares at you with my own two eyes*

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[lil-lemon-snails]

the present... was you all along 🫵 (sillies aside, i hope ur holiday went well & that you are snuggling with your cat(s) now... <3)

AHHHH POMMMMMM!!!!! 💖💗💕💝💗💖💕💝

YOU'RE SO SWEET!!!!!!! this is so adorable!!! Look at the big ol bow on my head waaaahhhh they look so cute in your style i am crying fr ;;;;;w;;;;;; thank you <333