iobsesswaytoomuch

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misc dump from today and yesterday

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we have come a decent way

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i really want to normalise the idea amongst lgbt youth that its okay to switch labels as you further understand your identity. you’re not a traitor or a fake if you realise you’re bi instead of a lesbian, or if you’re a trans woman instead of a gay man. it’s really difficult and scary to be lgbt and it’s doubly hard to deal with a shifting identity amongst all that so… be kind to yourself. you’re learning and figuring yourself out and nothing is set in stone. let yourself figure out what feels most comfortable to you. and for those who are secure in their lgbt identities, particularly adults, don’t make kids feel bad for switching between labels. we’ve all had identity crises in our lives, so provide support and understanding rather than unforgiving attitudes.

this post is not an excuse to jump on the “of course you can’t label yourself at a young age” bandwagon either. young people who stick with and feel comfortable in an identity from an early age are just as valid as you are.

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well it finally happened

so my dad is almost 80, this man's been making Spirk content since Star Trek started airing basically

he never knew ao3 existed, he just thought people stopped writing fanfic when ff.net died, like it was a fad that had outgrown him or smth

he clicked an ao3 link in my pinned last night, realizing that they were in fact clickable

he's mad at me for not telling him earlier. "I don't have a lot of years left in me and there's so much to read"

he's gonna spend his whole retirement reading trek fanfic now jesus christ

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Reading fantasy again, I've started thinking about how odd it is how in books like that, the non-human races invariably scoff at human frailty and vulnerability, even those that they'll call friends. Like that's mean?? Why would you be a dick to your friend who you know is not capable of as much as you are, and it's not their fault they were born like that. That's mean.

Like consider the opposite: Characters of non-human races treating their human companions like frail little old dogs. Worrying about small wounds being fatal - humans die of small injuries all the time - or being surprised that humans can actually eat salt, even if they can't stomach other spicy rocks. Being amazed that a human friend they haven't seen in 10 years still looks so young, they've hardly aged at all! And when the human tries to explain that they weren't going to just unexpectedly shrivel into a raisin in 10 years, the longer-lifespan friend dismisses this like no, he's seen it happen, you don't see a human for 10 or 20 years and they've shriveled in a blink.

Elves arguing with each other like "you can't take her out there, she will die!" and when the human gets there to ask what they're talking about, they explain to her that the journey will take them through a passage where it's going to be sunny out there. Humans burn in the sun. And she will have to clarify that no, actually, she'll be fine. They fight her about it, until she manages to convince them that it's not like vampires - humans only burn a little bit in the sun, not all the way through. She'll be fine if she just wears a hat.

Meanwhile dwarves are reluctant to allow humans in their mines and cities, not just out of being secretive, but because they know that you cannot bring humans underground, they will go insane if they go too long without seeing the sun. Nobody is entirely sure how long that is, but the general consensus is three days. One time a human tries to explain their dwarf companion that this is not true, there are humans that endure much longer darkness than that. As a matter of fact, in the furthest habited corners of the lands of the Northmen, the winter sun barely rises at all. Humans can survive three weeks of darkness, and not just once, but every single year.

"Then how do they sane?" Asks the dwarf, and just as he does, the conversation gets interrupted by the northland human, who had been eavesdropping, and turns to look at them with an unnerving glint in her colourless grey eyes, grinning while saying

"That's the neat part, we don't."

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Can’t wait to see these creatures fight to the death in mortal combat this December.

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uuh he fell asleep

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Jay should be able to control thunder as well change my mind

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Day 1 of praying that someone makes Jaya fanart of this:

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The secret to a long lasting relationship is finding someone who hates leaving their comfort zone and then wiggle your way in there. You wiggle your way right inside their comfort zone and then you're there. By the time they notice you're there, they'll just sigh like "oh great, now there's a creature in here", but they don't want to move out of their comfort zone, and tossing you out of there would now alter the air pressure and constitution of the comfort zone too abruptly and it would pop like a bubble.

That's how you keep a relationship. You weasel your way inside someone's comfort zone and make yourself an essential component of it, so now they, too, will have to make sure that your dumb ass stays in there. Their comfort zone now has a fucking creature in it, and it's not going to be the same comfort zone if the creature isn't there.

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special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art

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“Medieval peasants couldn’t handle my Spotify playlist” but could YOU handle a medieval bard relaying the epic of Beowulf over the course of an hour? Humble yourself.

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Injury prompts 11 + 9 (maybe with Casey Jones Jr. and his Sensei??? 👀)

Heyyyyy sorry this is literal months late. 😅😅😅 hope you enjoy it anyway!!

11 “I’m going to lift you up, okay? Tell me if it hurts.” + 9“I know, I know it hurts.”

Silence always rings so much louder after a raid. The Krang dogs and mechs are gone now, seemingly satisfied for the moment with the devastation left in their wake, and what had been their main base for the last four years is left in ruins. The absence of the constant hum of people living their lives in close quarters and the odd buzz of Donnie’s monitoring systems makes Leo’s ears ring, though maybe that’s just the tinnitus left over from the explosions that had brought the stone ceiling down on his head. 

With a pained groan that gets swallowed by dust and rock before it can begin to echo, Leo shoves the rubble from his plastron and heaves himself to his feet. He’s never more grateful for his shell than when Krang attacks bury him. His left knee is going to hate him for whatever is left of his entire life, his head is foggy and pounding from a pretty nasty concussion, and his right wrist is probably definitely fractured, but it’s nothing he hasn’t been able to work through before. He’ll probably be able to just walk it off; there are benefits to being designed as a living weapon, proven time and time again with every day of war that passes.

“Sound off?” he calls into the dusty void that surrounds him, already stealing himself against the inevitable grief and guilt that is surely coming. He’s used to it by now.

The particles dance at the chorus of groans that rise in response. He makes sure his sigh of relief at still having what sounds like the majority of his people is silent. They don’t need to know how scared he was that he might have been the only one in this sector to have survived the cave in again. He’d only barely survived the guilt the first time around. His body was specially made for war, but the majority of the resistances’ were not. He’s never been more aware of the differences between them than when he’s had to haul squishy human bodies off of battlegrounds or from beneath rubble.

“Espinoza, Higgins, Matthews, you three able to stand?” 

“Might need a little help moving some of this rubble, but I’ll be good once I’m on my feet,” Higgins answers with a breathless laugh and immediate groan of pain that tells him she’s got at least one broken rib. The other two answer similarly, with a lot more cursing from Matthews and a reluctant confession to a mangled arm from Espinoza. Leo nods, and turns his gaze towards the others who have begun to extricate themselves from the remnants of this room of their base. His vision swims a little and the pounding in his head worsens with the movement. 

“Frost, find anything we can use to stabalize Espinoza’s arm until the med bay can be dug out. Abrams and Becker, clear the way for Higgins. Tell me immediately if anything is too heavy for you. The last thing we need is for anyone to be injured more, and surviving a Krang attack just to bite it under a piece of loose rock would suck, right gang?”

“Gee, thanks,” Higgins grumbles, and Leo allows himself a smile before he turns back to sorting out his men, confident that it’ll be quick work to get her free. 

“CJ, I need you to find Mikey. Let him know our status. Then check on the medbay and report back with how buried we are there. I have a feeling there’s gonna be a lot of people needing treatment.”

Silence answers him, and suddenly it’s like all the air is sucked from the room. Leo’s eyes go wide with terror, and his heart bangs painfully behind his plastron as he realizes with a sudden rush of horror that he hadn’t heard Casey’s voice sound off earlier. How had he missed that? Casey had been right there, right next to him when the fighting started, so why hadn’t he noticed something had happened to him?Where is he?

Leo whirls, eyes sweeping the room, heart in his throat as he takes in the piles of heavy stone and soil, each one more than big enough to have crushed one tiny human beneath their mass. It’s like seeing it with fresh eyes, when he’s looking to try to find any sign of a body. Every reaching shadow looks like pooling blood. Every mound could be hiding a tiny, delicate frame beneath it. What has he done?

“Case? C’mon kid, sound off! Give me a clue!”

Talking too loud risks bringing the whole place down on top of them. He knows that, but the desperate shouts still build behind his teeth, fighting to be let out. The others are searching, too, and that’s the only thing that keeps him from endangering them all by screaming and tearing the whole room apart. 

Each breath feels like broken glass inside his lungs as he searches, frantic and horrified but unable to act like it in front of the people who are counting on him to be their leader. He has to stay calm now, even if doing so feels like a betrayal.

“If anything happens to you, your mom is gonna kill me before the Krang ever get the chance to!” he calls into the muffled quiet, and his hands shake as he shifts another bit of debris to the side. There’s nothing. No sign of him, and Leo’s head is spinning with terrible what-if’s. 

And then, a soft groan. He hears Sanders gasp, followed by, “I found him! Hurry!”

Leo’s at their side in a flash, nodding his thanks even as he crouches down to get a better look. A few years ago, the sight that greets him would have made him puke or sent him into hysterics. Now, it just feels a bit like the earth is dropping out beneath his feet, but he’s used to the vertigo by now. The sight ain’t pretty, but Leo’s seen worse.

Casey blinks back at him, and offers a small smile with bloodstained teeth. It’s hard to say whether it comes from the small waterfall of blood pouring from his broken nose, or from the new gap in his teeth. One eye is swollen shut, and the gash in the side of his head is soaking his hair. Judging from the awkward angle of it, his ankle is probably broken, too. The worst of it, though, is his arm. Or, well, where his arm should be. All that’s left now is a stump, red meat and yellow fat and creamy white bone all exposed and gushing blood. Leo grits his teeth and bites back several lifetimes worth of tears and bile.

“Frost, how we doin’ on those supplies? We’re gonna need a tourniquet. Now.”

“Here,” someone says as a belt and the broken remains of a sword hilt are shoved into his waiting hands. He nods his thanks,  not bothering to lift his gaze long enough to check who handed them over. Casey’s staring at him, the eye that’s not swollen shut glazed and unfocused. 

“You’re okay, Case,” he murmurs, trying so so hard to keep his voice level. If he starts panicking, then so will everyone else, Casey included. That’s the last thing this kid needs right now.

“Sensei,” comes the soft response, hardly more than a whimper into the chill of the cavern’s dusty air. Leo tries to speak, but it comes out chokes and cracking. He clears his throat. Tries again. 

“I know. I know it hurts, Case, but I need you to be brave for me right now, okay? Do you think you can be brave?” 

Casey doesn’t respond. His eyes roll wildly, the whites flashing in the dim emergency lights. Leo can’t keep the tremble out of his hands as he ties the tourniquet and tries to ignore the way that Casey swallows his screams, still so wary of drawing attention and possibly bringing the Krang back even in the grips of shock and severe blood loss. 

“I’m going to lift you up, okay? Tell me if it hurts.” It’s a stupid thing to say, but that’s all he can think of right now. Narrate. Keep him awake and alert even though unconsciousness would probably be a blessing. “We’re going to get you all fixed up, good as new. Nothing to worry about, kid. You’re gonna be just fine.”

Uncertainty tastes like bitter lies as it coats his tongue, sticky and heavy as the dust he feels clogging his throat with every breath. He feels his men at his back as he rises with Casey in his arms. The kid is so light, and his blood is warm and sticky as it smears across Leo’s own body. Casey chokes on a sob, and he hushes him, trying to keep the sound soothing despite the way his throat’s all closed up. The others fall into formation as they flank him, and all together, they hurry through the halls, each one hoping that the child they’ve all grown to view as a spark of hope for the future of the world will survive this fight. 

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attempting to ascend to godhood to give you visions of my next fics so I don’t actually have to write them

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Turtle carol…?

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The other day I had a really good idea for a story:

A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; the other group think it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred conquered by love. Reconciliation seems impossible-

-then a person from one group falls in love with a person from the other

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the fact that ew!donnie is the only one who knows of all his brothers existence is so painful

Leo wasn't really aware at all

Mikey knew of Leo and Raph

Raph knew of Mikey and Leo

but none of them knew Donnie existed/was their brother, until now

He grew up with imagining his brother's to be better than him, maybe pity him or be disgusted but I think that they didn't even know he existed makes it worse.

Like he wasn't even worth knowing

Yeah, i really can’t decide which is worse…

Leo, fighting against remembering even the little scraps that Kitsune’s magic can’t erase, actively seeking her sessions out because remembering anything hurts too much on top of everything else he has to deal with.

Mikey, so lonely and feeling like something is always missing, despite being spoiled with a huge room and so many toys, but no one to play with.

Raph, knowing exactly what he had, and seeing how much worse Splinter’s depression gets after the “death” of his siblings, and imaging how much brighter his life would’ve been if he’d protected them.

Or Donnie, constantly pulled in opposing directions, wishing his brothers were next to him, but then also wanting to keep them as far away from Draxum as possible. Always conflicted between his own selfish desire to not be his father’s sole target, and happy that they’re safe, somewhere else.

(Personally I think Leo’s might be the one that hurts the most, because the idea that he starts to go to Kitsune of his own volition, and then fakes it the rest of the time, when a part of him always knows something is wrong, but it’s always less painful when he keeps his mouth shut 🥲…)