#thank you jael for the wonderful things you create

[brighthorizon35]

Made myself a wallpaper and love how cute the brothers turned out so I had to share them!

I delayed posting this because of the news Jael Peñaloza dropped about Underverse a few days ago but after hearing others' thoughts on it, I can't give up on a hobby that brings me so much joy. Even if this community is being filled with hate, there are still so many wonderful people that just want to have fun and share their art, stories, and ideas.

No matter what happens, let's all try to be kind people, so we can have silly fun times and share beautiful things with each other.

[razorblade180]

Looking Back

[Lasting Embers au spoilers]

A constant in life is that life is constantly changing; a concept known to any huntsman that were worth their salt on the battlefield. As well as anybody who chose a dangerous life style. For Adam, it was the second constant in his life. The first was the stary void that dawned over him with its trillions of stars. It might be the only real perk of night watch. It was his turn to keep an eye out for any enemy that could’ve been following him and the rag tag fever dream of a team he found himself with. When Jacquelyn told him life is a story that goes the way each person decides, he never imagine somehow he had written a story that would lead him to helping members of team RWBY, their families, and his as well. Crazy for sure but hey, crazier had happened. This didn’t even make the list.

Yang approached him from behind with two mugs in her hand. The both of them were ordered to watch the forest clearing from the tree line. Ruby was dead set on making sure the two of them were in sync enough to fight together if things got hairy. Yang could think of a million other ways to spend the night but she wasn’t about to complain and handed him the coffee.

Yang:One coffee, black. If you’re going for something gross to keep you awake then I understand.

Adam:I told you black so you couldn’t slip anything in it.

Yang:....

Adam:Joking, I wasn’t serious. Mostly.

Yang:Your humor is more bitter than your drink. *sips* you should try to be more grounded.

Adam:That was terrible. We can’t both be bad at this or I might die from boredom alone.

Yang:Stabs to the chest didn’t end you. I doubt puns will. I’d be upset; could’ve gotten rid of you a long time ago if they did.

Adam:What can I say? I’m one lucky bastard.

Yang:I’ll say....

The blonde bruiser sat down with her head supported by her hands. Being here was awkward, too awkward. Neither of them really continued speaking. One watched the fields whil the other star gazed. Adam would sometime steal glances at Yang’s arm before going back to mapping out the sky. Yang let out a long and over the top sigh. At this point, talking to Adam couldn’t be as unbearable as saying nothing.

Yang:We should play a game.

Adam:What?

Yang:You heard me. It’ll pass the time. Besides, I’m positive Ruby will keep sticking us as partners if we don’t even pretend to get along.

Adam:Who’s pretending? I made my peace with my thoughts on you a long time ago. If I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have entertained the thought of looking over your daughter for over a decade.

Yang:Hmm is that right? Well, can’t say I’m not entirely over that hump.

Adam:This makes the fourth of fifth time you’ve told me that. You need new material. Freeing Jackie, me, when I showed up at your home, the train ride; I get it. Messaged received.

Yang:Tsk, no need to sound smug about it.

Adam:I’m not. I just don’t see a reason for you to state the obvious. You don’t forgive someone who shouldn’t be forgiven. What, are you upset because people like your sister don’t share the sentiment?

Yang:Why bring Ruby up and not Blake?

Adam:Like I said, stating the obvious. How are you two though? You’ve had plenty of time to properly bury that hatchet.

Yang:We’re just fine. Even before this whole cult shit.

Adam:Good. It’s already insane you two “killed” me and didn’t get together. I’d feel some type of way if you weren’t even friends. Talk about a let down.

Yang:You’re the reason- ugh, why the hell am I even trying to hold a proper conversation with you? I might as well pull my hair out...

Adam:....The hate game.

Yang:What?

Adam:It’s the game I wanna play. You and another person take turns talking about something you hate about the other.

Yang:That....sounds so stupid.

Adam:That’s the spirit, I’ll go first. You’re really loud all the time. Ever heard of a inside voice?

Yang:That’s rich coming from the screaming goat. All you ever did was scream Blake’s name.

Adam:All you ever did was scream in general. I hate how you always seem to butt into everything. It’s one thing to help a friend but you like act like you have a right to have an opinion on people you know by association.

Yang:I don’t need to know much about a terrorist to know you’re terrible.

Adam:I hate how you haven’t realized this is the first time you’re judging me by the crimes I committed for the first time, instead of claiming I was nothing but fake towards Blake and Ilia.

Yang:....

Adam:Everything is personal with you.

Yang:Says the hypocrite.

Adam:I won’t deny that. You feel better or you got more on your chest?

Yang:We’d be here for years if I said it all.

Adam:Then say the important ones I know you wanna say. “I hate that you’re still alive.” Or is it “I can’t stand your dismissive attitude?” The fact anybody like me was given a second-

Yang:I hate that you’ve spent more time with Yujin than me...

Adam:Oh....hmm. *lays back*

Yang:Got nothing smart to say, jackass?

Adam:Hey if you raised my kid with me barely around, I’d hate you too. Can’t fault you for that one.

Yang:It’s a twisted joke really. So many people to look over her from afar and it’s you. What was Sun thinking?

Adam:We were under staffed and things got ugly really fast. Decisions had to happen quickly. Plus the threat was clearly too unknown and dangerous to half ass anything. They killed two of you after all.

Yang:It would be wise to keep that incident out of your mouth. Ruby might tolerate you but that’ll change before I can even lift a finger.

Adam:Now you’re warning me? I thought your sister stomping me out would make your day.

Yang:Dude...shut up.

Adam:....What happened to your uncle and friend was terrible, sorry.

Yang:Ugh, even you saying that feels so wrong.

Adam: Please, thank you, and I’m sorry aren’t that hard. It’s not even new. The white fang wasn’t all snarls and chanting like you think. For awhile I pretty calm there.

Yang:The key word being “awhile.” You murdered your own.

Adam:Yep.

Yang*grits teeth* That’s all you say? People keep saying you’re different left and right and yet you don’t seem even a little regretfull. You’re sipping coffee and staring at the stars as if you hadn’t spent most of your life ruining other’s! What part of that sounds like a change of heart!?

Adam didn’t break his attention away from those stars. If he did, Adam would’ve no doubt seen how irritated Yang was. Her eyes burned red as she waited for an answer. Yang’s coffee was even boiling.

Yang:Well?

Adam:Regretting doesn’t bring them back, or the most heartfelt apologies. It just stirs anger. You wouldn’t feel better about your arm if I apologize.

Yang:So you choose to not even try.

Adam:No, I’ll just convince Jacquelyn to get the relic of creation whenever we eventually go to Atlas.

A perfectly good cup of coffee falls out of Yang’s hand. Did she hear that right? Adam just said he planned on creating an arm with a relic, for her!

Adam:What? It made me an eye. Making an arm is far less complicated than that. I’d say that would be better than any words I could say that you wouldn’t believe anyways.

Yang:....It’s your turn again.

Adam:Ah, let’s see. Well, if I were to be honest I guess...it really bothers me how similar you are to your daughter.

Yang:The hell does-

Adam:Let me finish before you break my ribs. That kid of yours pretty feisty and passionate about so many things. She bugged me to help train her until I finally said yes. Yujin gets frustrated easily and gets really sensitive about certain maternal subjects; yet it isn’t like she doesn’t want to avoid those conversations altogether. Seriously, your daughter is a little bit of a mess, but a fun mess. That bothers me because for a split second I can’t help but wonder that maybe if you and encountered each other on the same side in the beginning...maybe we’d be decent acquaintances or something.

Yang:D-Did you just say what I think you just said.

Adam:Who knows? I suck with words. I’m gonna rest for a little bit.

He turned his back to her to avoid eye contact. Yang couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. Was he embarrassed? Did he actually try some roundabout way of saying she was a good person? If only Blake was here for that. She would’ve flipped. Yang looked up the sky then back at the field; still nothing. When her guys went back to the stars it was curiosity.

Yang:Hey, were you staring a constellation in particular or something?

Adam:You can see Capricornus well from here. I joke all the time with Jael about that one since she’s into a shark faunus. Looking at it made me think about her is all.

Yang:Jael is your second daughter right?! I can’t believe I didn’t know that. I remember the first one for sure.

Adam:You were a little preoccupied to notice anything regarding Jael. Her and Yujin share a birthday.

Yang:No foolin!? Well how about that.

Adam:Yeah, life sure does like it’s jokes. I get a lot of flack if I’m not around for one’s birthday. Jael will get pouty and your daughter gets fussy. “You promised!” I’ve heard that too much.

Yang:Hehe, Jin might get that from me. It’s natural for your kid though. I know I wanted my dad around for mine. Even when I grew up and acted like I was too grown to really care, I wanted his birthday breakfast. Your kid looked like a real beauty.

Adam:Thanks, definitely got that from her mother.

Yang:Haha, don’t feel bad. Seeing Yujin with short hair made me think Jaune had another younger sister I just never met. His genes are way too strong.

Adam:Trust me, I’ve seen her with long hair and in the middle of a fight. I might’ve called her your name a few times.

Yang:Oof, that must’ve pissed her off.

Adam:No....she was actually surprised more than anything. Yujin never hated you Yang. Despite how she acted whenever your name was mentioned. I think she just wasn’t sure how to feel about you besides feeling lonely. I’m not any better with Jael. You wanna talk regrets, I don’t think I spent enough time with her the way I should’ve. Hopefully I’m wrong.

Yang:It’s very telling that you don’t regret your past but you regret something like that.

Adam:My past is terrible and dark, but it led me to my wife and kids. It feels wrong to regret it, so I’ll just accept it and carry on. Otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever have time to live in the present.

Yang:Geez, ever the drama queen. Though I can see a little bit of that view point. Still a spit in the face to people and yourself if you asked me.

Adam:The world thinks I’m dead and has made their mind up about me a long time ago. I go around taking down other terrorists and orginizations to keep them safe as a way to give back. I don’t owe the world anymore than that. I’m simply a remnant among Remnant. My regret is my kids have me as a dad. A kid should be able to talk about their parents and be proud.

Yang:Can’t argue with that. At least you stayed and are apart of their life. I can barely say that.

Adam:Helping save Remnant from another shadow war is a pretty strong excuse. Especially when the group has actually killed your family members. You’re just protecting them. Jaune and Yujin understand that.

Yang:....I hate that you’re not as terrible anymore. Reasonable you is too...

Adam:Reasonable?

Yang:I really hope I don’t have with this for another ten years.

Adam:I give it two, tops. You have a maiden with you this time and me. I’ll just hit you so you can get stronger and wreck shop.

Yang:Hit me and I hit you.

Adam:I’ll block, now we’re both wrecking shop.

Yang:Jacquelyn must have the patience of a saint to deal with you.

Adam:Yep, she’s pretty great. Saved my life, saved my soul. Couldn’t ask for more. You two would probably get along.

Yang:Nah, we worked together once. Wasn’t the best experience.

Adam:I was kidnapped and you were both pregnant. I’m not the smartest person but I’m positive that was a recipe for disaster. She thinks you’re cool, really respect your virtues. Sometimes it feels like she’s quoting you unfortunately.

Yang:Oh, glad I left a good impression. Maybe I can have her whisper regrets into your ear. Seriously, I regret things like lying to Ruby about tiny things yet you don’t really regret anything?

Adam:My regrets take place before the white fang. They remain in the work camp I escaped from. It’s funny, Yujin reminds me of my little sister, Eve.

Yang:Are you telling me that you, Adam, had a sister named Eve?

Adam:When you live in a place devoid of hope or faith, you cling to it in any way can. So my mother named us to help maintain hers. Probably had something to do with the loss of our father. Can’t say, never met him.

Yang:What was your mother’s name?

Adam:Don’t know. I called her mom and the gaurds called her by a serial number. Even that’s a little hazy. Anyways, sis got caught in an mining incident; mother was gunned down because I furious at a gaurd that stopped me from saving Eve.

Yang:Wow that’s umm, heavy stuff. Is that how you...*point to face*

Adam:Yeah, called it my punishment for disobeying. As far as regrets go, it would’ve been nice to be a son and brother; one that got to actually have proper meals.

Yang looked at Adam stare deeply into the void of space. It was strange. Yang has never seen Adam look mournful before. His eyes seemed to get more lost in thought by the second. A part of her felt....sorry for him.

Yang:I’m sure they’ve watched over you since day one. Who knows? Maybe they’re the real reason you’ve survived so long? If I know a thing or two about little sisters and mothers, they’ll never let you rest until you clean up your act, hehehe. Ruby can vouch for that. I bet both of them would be proud of your end result.

Adam:That’s funny. It kinda sounds like you just tried showing me compassion.

Yang:Pfft, I think you may have brain damage you didn’t know about.

Adam:Oh it’s possible. Neo and Mercury have put me through some shit.

Both of them laughed and continued to chat aimlessly, unaware that Ruby and Raven were watching from their own vantage point.

Raven:Well look at that? Maybe the gods haven’t abandoned us if people like those two can chat like that.

Ruby:Looks like our colorful team has gotten a little more stable. Now if only Weiss can get used to Nora’s snoring.

Raven:That’s seriously on your to-do list?

Ruby:I refuse to lead my team poorly this time around. I’ll do whatever I can whenever I can.

Raven:Qrow and Oscar would be proud to see you back on your feet, the right way this time.

Ruby:Can’t mourn forever. This is the mission to end all missions. I’m going full throttle...

[xavinisms]

2019 Round-up | A Vintage Year

Wow... What a ride it's been.

Between trips to places I have never been before, from Copenhagen to Tasmania, Melbourne to Ahmedabad and New Delhi, I have worked with and met so many amazing artists, thinkers and activists that have shaped the way I came to understand the world this year.

I felt equally privileged, delighted, sad and unwelcome in various capacities throughout the year.

The quality and breath of work I had the pleasure to engage with this year has been incredible. Every artist, producer, curator, tech manager, designer, and overall colleague, has shown me what humanity can create: a sense of risk, ambition and most of all, humanity. For that, I am incredibly thankful.

The political and social developments in the UK continue to disturb me and at the same time meant I joined groups of activism that I consider to be of the utmost importance right now, namely Momentum and Migrants in Culture.

It is no surprise that I am quite tired with constantly being told - directly and indirectly - that I am not welcome in the UK. It's been like that for a while and if it wasnt for the people here mentioned (and many,many more) I most probably would have left by now. The fight continues though, and as the UK enters a new darker period where fascism is ever creeping up our public and private systems and life, we must never loose sight of the end goal: each others and our well being. So much is dependent on our generations to turn this around, and it all feels impossible at the moment. I don't know exactly what I can tell you about the future. What I know is that things wont be the same in the new year and beyond, personally and professionally.

Nonetheless, there is plenty to celebrate...

2019 in Chronological-ish order:

🇮🇳 Travels to Ahmedabad and New Delhi in India where I was privileged enough to work with my friend Pankaj Tiwari on a performance research and then spent time exploring, learning and adoring the culture and people I met.

The project, Coding The Currents, is set in the river Khari in the vicinity of Ahmedabad, in the Gujarati state. Led by Pankaj and Agat Sharma. You can read more about the work here and the overall project (which you should, because it is excellent). https://codingthecurrents.cargo.site/Post-Human-Dinner-Party

I will forever cherish the time I spent there, the people I met and that made me feel so welcomed. Experiencing the local cultures, the food, the history of the country and learning how to get around was a breathtaking experience - and I look forward to returning in the future.

🇦🇺 Travels to Australia, where I hang out with my friend Bek Berger and met some new wonderful friends and colleagues, swam in the ocean and the swimming pools of Melbourne, went to music festivals in Tasmania, and generally relaxed.

💃🏼 Toured POST a bit more including a run at Battersea Arts Centre and gathered some of the best feedback and reviews of my career. Some info here: https://www.xavierdesousa.co.uk/post/165981228414/post-tour

👑 Got commissions, residencies and performances booked and engaged on for new show REGNANT which I will open in 2020. A durational play, REGNANT focuses on structures of power and local government. This project will be the biggest of my solo career, and it will be a new chance to work collectively and learn new skills along the way, as well as collaborating with new and exciting artists.  

🌆 Curated and delivered a lot of New Queers on the Block across the UK:

·       Returned to the towns and cities we visited in 2018, from Folkestone to Blackpool, via Hastings and Bradford, to present small to mid-scale performances, film works, talks and events by Ira Brand, Last Yearz Interesting Negro, Harry Josephine Giles, Demi Nanhdra, Marikiscrycrycry, Harry Clayton-Wright, Rachael Young, Mandla Rae, Lucy Hutson, Samir Kennedy, Istanbul Queer Arts Collective, Benjamin Sebastian, Nando Messias and Subira Joy, amongst many others.

·       Commissioned local LGBTQ+ artists such as Sea Sharp, Subira Joy, Wandia Wahogo, Kirsty Taylor and Adam Frost to create their first theatre shows, with development and producing support from us, as well as producing teams around them.

·       Commissioned Oozing Gloop, Marikiscrycrycry and Rachael Young to create new work and upscale their practices to larger, tour-able models or to experiment with new forms.

·       Released ‘New Queers On The Road’, a documentary following our first ever tour and explores the impact the work has already had in local communities. Directed by the incredible Rosie Powell, this has been seen by over 100,000 people across the country and online, as well as local TV stations.

·       Worked more closely with our Local Ambassadors Bean, Benjamin Sebastian, Elis Johnson and Sonia Sandu across those locations, and developed new local audiences; Welcomed new members to the New Queers team, such as our General Manager Carmen D’Cruz, Marketing Manager Rasheed Rahman and Associate Producer Lee Smith, who, together with our PR Anna Smith have taken the projects to new hights of efficiency and awareness.

·       Partnered with new friends, such as SHOUT Festival and FIERCE Festival (Birmingham), Art BnB and Abingdon Studios (Blackpool), Brick Box Rooms (Bradford) and Camden People’s Theatre (London) to present new performances, a full day symposium on care practices in the queer arts scene and co-produce the development of local queer artists.

·       New Queers on The Block is a Touring and Artist Development Scheme led by Marlborough Productions in partnership with Attenborough Centre for the Creative Arts (Brighton), Theatre in the Mill (Bradford), Left Coast & Art BnB (Blackpool), Home Live Art (Hastings), Creative (Folkestone), FIERCE Festival & SHOUT Festival (Birmingham). Funded by Arts Council England, Jerwood Arts, Esmée Fairban & The Space.

���🏼 Curated and delivered a LOT of performingbordersLIVE with my friend Alessandra Cianetti

·       Commissioned new performance for camera by Istanbul Queer Arts Collective and Tara Fatehi Irani

·       Live interviews with Nima Séne and Tuna Erdem (Queer Contact, Manchester), Sim Chi Yin and Annie Jael Kwan (Attenborough Centre for the Creative Arts, Brighton) and Anti-Cool & osborn&møller (Artsadmin)

·       Commissioned All The Tea in China by Burong (曾不容) and Patrolling by Critical Interruptions

·       Curated and produced the event Curating Borderless Spaces at Live Art Development Agency, which included provocations, talks, interventions, workshops, key notes, performances and food by Season Butler, Instanbul Queer Arts Collective, Raju Rage, Bojana Janković, Dana Olărescu, Kai Syng Tan, Helena Walsh, and Lois Keidan.

·       Online interviews with Pelin Başaran and Warehouse9

📻 Did an extensive residency with Warehouse9 in Copenhagen with An* Neely that resulted in an exhibition and a series of podcasts with Lasse Lau, Jupiter Child, Sarah Lamming and Lukas Raki.

✊🏼 Co-founded Migrants in Culture and launched an investigation and the final report on the Impact of the UK Home Office's policy Hostile Environment against Migrant Culture Workers. You can read it here.

👨🏻‍🏫 Taught at Central St Martins for the first time and had a great time, although this time no-one called me Professor X. A bitter highlight.

🥖 Presented a new work in progress of a one-on-one piece, Breaking Bread, at ARC Stockton as part of Curious Festival

And more... much much more...

May 2020 be the year we turn things around politically and socially. And may it be a vintage year for you, for me, and for us.

Xavier

[vampwrrrmistresslist]

Sweet Lies 5

(A/N:  This is not how dual citizenship between the US and South Korea works.  Suspend your disbelief, dear Reader.  Also, this is chapter 5 of an in progress fic, the links for which can be found on my mistresslist.)

Baekhyun’s eyes shone when he picked you up, looking appreciatively up and down your tempting figure.  You were wearing a loose ice blue silk button down blouse, tucked into a figure-hugging, high-waisted, charcoal-and-ice-pinstripe pencil skirt that hit you just below the knee.  Your thick, wavy hair was gathered over one shoulder, leaving the side of your neck bare to his gaze.  You were grateful that you had taken the time to go thriftwhoring that morning, and were in clothes that made you feel more like the “you” you had been before you had  given up.  Charcoal stilettos that you hadn’t worn since university completed the look, but still put you an inch below him.  

The small of your back was warmed by the delicate pressure of Baekhyun’s hand as he gently led you through the doors of the Mercier Fine Art Museum, where they were having an exhibit on The Modern Reclamation of the Power of Women topos, with paintings on loan from around the world.  You wriggled playfully in excitement, beaming up at him when he looked down questioningly.

“I love museums,” you whispered confidentially, causing him to chuckle indulgently.  “I haven’t been to one since I graduated.  I’m so excited!”

He nodded, his eyes scanning the room before coming to rest on your face.  “You really are a nerd, aren’t you?”

You went to punch him on the shoulder, but stopped yourself just in time, and let your hand fall back to your side.  “Says the man who attended Vanderbilt and Cornell.”

“So, we’re both nerds,” he said comfortably, his thumb gently stroking the base of your spine.  “Which exhibit would you like to see first?”

“The Klimt.”

He guided you through the doorway on your right, into the Klimt exhibit. You gasped softly to yourself as you both came to stand in front of Klimt’s The Kiss. “Oh!  It’s lovely…”

Baekhyun spared the painting a glance, turning slightly to look at you while you looked up at the work in wonder.  “Indeed,” he said quietly, his eyes tracing the delicate lines of your profile.

You continued to look at the painting, eyes moving back and forth as you tried to commit every inch to memory.  “Klimt is one of my favourite artists.”

He nodded.  “I prefer modern art, but I can acknowledge the appeal.”

You wrinkled your nose, glancing at him briefly, before turning your eyes back to the painting in front of you.  “Modern art is so cold.  So calculating.  For the most part, anyway.”

“Not cold.  Clean.  Neat.”

“Well, you may just have to teach me to appreciate it.  I can’t say that I do right now.”

He smiled, looking thoughtful. “That would be a pleasure.  There are a lot of things that I would love to teach you.”

You grinned cheekily.  “How do you know that I don’t know them already?”

He grinned mischievously.  Reworking his query from the previous day, “So, you know everything I know?”

You tsked and pouted.  “What if there are things that I want to teach you?”

He laughed loudly, then looked chastened when the security guard gave him a glare. “I learn well,” he stage-whispered, as he led you away from The Kiss.

You smiled up at him, allowing the soft press of his hand to guide you to Klimt’s next work, Danae.  You bit your lip to hold back a squeal.  “It’s gorgeous!”

He tilted his head, considering.  “I think that I can appreciate this one a bit more.”

You looked up at him as he studied the painting.  “What do you like about this one?”

He shook his head.  “I’m not an art critic.  I don’t really analyze it.  I just…like what I like.  If it strikes me as pretty, I like it.  I don’t think about why.”

You nodded, looking back at the painting.  “I can verbalize why I like it, but I agree with you.  It all boils down to, I like it, because I like it.  That’s enough. Taking it apart is just justification after the fact.”

“Well, now I’m curious.  Why do you like it?”

“Mmm, first of all I love the juxtaposition, which you also find in The Kiss, of comfort and discomfort.  Look at how she’s positioned.  It looks unnatural, and cramped, but look at her face; it’s blissful.  I also love the way he creates texture in his paintings.  Look at the veil. Doesn’t it look real, like you could reach out and pull it from the painting?  Another thing that I find fascinating about most of his work is the contrast of styles, within the same paintings.  For example, her hair looks like a painting, but the veil looks real.  The Kiss almost looks as if he painted the figures, and then put fabric, and gold overlay over them.  Something about that contrast just pulls at something inside of me.  I don’t know; I’m weird.  I’m probably not making sense.”

“No, I understand.  We’re drawn to opposites. Sweet and sour, light and dark, pain and pleasure.  It’s not weird at all.  I’m afraid that I think you’re quite normal, pet.”

“Give me time.”

You tried to hold in your excitement as you moved to the next painting, but a little bounce escaped, causing him to bite his lip to hold back another burst of laughter.  You groaned.  “Oh, now this…this is my favourite one,” you said, your hands reaching out to clutch air, as you make cute little grasping motions.  You both looked up at Judith and the Head of Holofernes.  “Do you know the story behind the painting?”

Baekhyun smiled ruefully.  “Not really.”

You smiled up at him.  “Well, it’s part of the Apocrypha, which are the books that didn’t make it into the Bible, due to their being of doubtful origin.  Anyway, in the story, there’s this widow, Judith, who gains the trust of Holofernes, an enemy Assyrian general, by promising to give him information on the Israelites’ plans for battle.  So one night, she goes to his tent, finds him dead drunk…and decapitates him.”  Here, you smiled again, looking back at the painting.  Almost reverently, you whisper, “She takes his head back to her camp, and the Assyrians, without their leader, flee in defeat.”

Baekhyun’s eyes roved over your rapt face, lit with a beatific smile as you recounted the dark tale.  He smiled affectionately at you as your eyes took in the graceful lines of the painting.  “You’re…kind of bloodthirsty, aren’t you?”

Your smile changed to an introspective one.  You sighed, glanced back at him, and then slowly began to walk to the next exhibit.  “Only to the deserving.”

He followed you, his eyes lazily trailing from your ankles all the way up to the crown of your head.  He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Just my style.”

You both wandered through the rest of the Klimt exhibit before making your way over to the Caravaggio display.  You gasped and hurried over to Caravaggio’s Judith Beheading Holofernes.  “They have multiple versions of this in the exhibition?!  Oh…” Sucking in a breath, you looked up in satisfaction at the image, biting your lip as your eyes took in the rich reds, and elegant chiascuro of the work.

Baekhyun came to stand behind you, replacing his hand on the small of your back, which you barely noticed, so enrapt were you with the painting.  He looked up at the far more graphic representation of the tale.  After a pause, “Should I be worried?”

“Are you currently planning to wage war against the Israelites?”

“It’s not on my to-do list.”

“Then you may keep your head.”

“Thank you.”

“I am beneficent in all my ways.”  You paused, and then gestured to the painting.  “Just look at that red.  That is my favourite colour.”  You suddenly shivered, the thin silk of your shirt doing nothing to insulate you against the glacial temperatures of the museum.  Baekhyun looked at you in concern.

“Are you cold?”

“Of course not,” you bluffed.

He glanced down to see goosebumps sweeping across your skin, see the way you unconsciously hugged your arms around your waist in an unsuccessful effort to warm yourself.  “Here,” he said, taking off his suit jacket and draping it over your shoulders.

“Really, I’m fine—“ you started, but then involuntarily closed your eyes, sighing in appreciation of the left over body heat from his jacket.

He raised an eyebrow.  “Fine?”

You settled gratefully into the warm jacket.  “Perhaps, I…was a bit…chilled.  Thank you.  Aren’t you going to be cold, though?”

“Well, I’m still wearing an undershirt, a shirt, and a vest, so I’m fine.”  He looked down at you, looking up at him, your doe-like eyes blinking at him over the collar of the jacket as you burrowed into it, up to your nose.  “You are so cute!”

You blushed, and looked down shyly.  You started to thank him when you glanced into the next room, and something that caught your eye.  You sucked in an incredulous breath.  “They have Gentileschi?!”

Anticipating your next move, he gently guided you out of the Caravaggio exhibit into the Gentileschi room, where you stood between Judith Slaying Holofernes and Jael and Sisera one hand to your mouth, eyes hungrily looking back and forth between the paintings, as if unable to choose which to consume first.  You decided to start with the Judith.

“Which version do you prefer?”

You sighed in contemplation.  After a moment, “The Gentileschi, hands down. It’s the most visceral; it delivers the highest impact.  Also, look at her expression compared to Caravaggio’s, and Klimt’s Judiths. Klimt depicted her erotically, while Caravaggio depicted her as almost timid, even as she’s right in the middle of beheading Holofernes.  The expression on Gentileschi’s Judith is the most realistic, I think. Repelled, but determined.  Also, look at her maidservant.  I mean, she’s really getting in there.  That’s loyalty.  That’s teamwork.”

“I would like to revise my earlier assertion.”

“Oh?”

“You are weird.”

“Thank you.”

***

The sun hung heavy in the sky when you emerged from the museum.   You divested yourself of Baekhyun’s jacket, handing it back to him with a grateful smile.

He took it from you, smiling as he eased into it.  “It smells like you.”

You looked at him in horror.  “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry.  I like the way you smell.  Like fresh cut lemons, and pretty girl.”

“What does pretty girl smell like?”

“You.”

“I should have seen that one coming.”

“You really should have.”

He guided you to one of the shaded benches under the trees.  “Ah, it’s so hot!”

You leaned back on your arms, taking note of the temperature. “It’s not that bad, now that the sun is going down.”    

“Wait a moment, I’ll be right back.”  

While he was gone, you tipped back your head, soaking in the dying rays of the sun, and listened to the cheerful babble of the small brook that ran through the trees beside the museum’s picnic area.  The leftover heat of the day seeped into your bones, making you feel like a lizard, and you were just starting to drift when–

“This is a pretty sight.”

You lazily opened your eyes to see Baekhyun standing in front of you with an obscenely large soft serve cone.  You raised an eyebrow.  “Where did you get that?”

“The museum cafeteria.  I’m hungry.”

You smiled, ruffling his hair as he sat next to you.

“You know you’re going to help me finish this, right?” he said, eyeing you over the cone.

“I thought that you said that you were hungry.”

“I’m hungry, not suicidal.  This thing is huge.”  You snorted.  “I wasn’t sure which you’d like, so I got swirl.”

“I like vanilla, but a little bit of chocolate with it is nice.”

“Perfect.  I like chocolate, with a little vanilla.”

“Are you just saying that?”

“No, I really do like chocolate.  And vanilla.  And strawberry.  And caramel.  And–”

“I get the point,” you laughed.

He handed one of the spoons to you, and you both went to town on the rapidly melting cone, giggling as you tried to eat it before it dripped all over his hand.

“So, Baekhyunnie,” you started, as you casually licked ice cream off of your spoon, “Tell me more about Byun Baekhyun. The man, the mystery, the legend. Tell me something interesting.”

He thought for a moment, cheek pouched adorably with a store of chocolate soft serve.  “I was actually born in South Korea.”

“What?!  Really?!”

He grinned, pleased at having surprised you.  “I moved to the US when I was 11, and I have dual citizenship.”

“That’s pretty neat.”

“I’ve never heard of my dual citizenship being described as neat before.”

You shrugged.  “What can I say?  I’m easily impressed.  Impress me some more.”

“I’ve…served in the military?”

“Really?!”

He nodded, chest puffing unconsciously.  “Mmm, right after high school. It’s mandatory for men in South Korea so, since I wasn’t willing to renounce citizenship, I just went back and did it.”

“What was it like?”

Baekhyun grimaced.  “I, in my finite wisdom, decided to enter the Marine Corps, since that’s the manliest branch, right?”  He laughed.  “They kicked my butt so bad, I coughed up my coccyx.”

Your eyes widened.  “They beat you up?!”

“No, no, nothing like that.  It was just a lot more physically demanding than I had anticipated.  To be honest, I’m glad that I did it, though. It made me a stronger person, I made friends that I otherwise never would have, and I learned a lot of useful skills.”

“What you did…when we first met…did you learn that in the military?”

He shook his head.  “Actually, no.  I have a fifth degree black belt in hapkido. I’ve been studying it since I was six.”

“Oh, wow.  So you know how to kill me with a napkin?”

He tossed you a cheeky smile, and leaned forward until there was only an inch of space between you.  “I’d rather kiss you to death.”

You turned away, face burning, as you tried to control a goofy grin.  You raised your hand to gently punch his shoulder, thought better of it, and then dropped it in your lap.  “That was so cheesy,” you muttered instead, trying to hide your amusement.

“You liked it.”  He offered you the rest of the cone, which you turned down, not wanting to accidentally spill melted ice cream on your shirt.  Shrugging, he opened his mouth and inhaled it in one go.  

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh at his chipmunk cheeks as he studiously crunched.  

He grinned at you, then stood to throw away the spoons and napkins. Returning, he held out his hand to help you off the bench, and then once again rested it against the small of your back, as he led you to his car.  

You wanted to say something cheeky about way he had been guiding you about all day but, if you were honest with yourself, you really enjoyed it; you didn’t want him to stop.  

He turned to you after you were both back in the car.  “I was thinking that we could go down to the floating pier at Miller’s Park, and just chat a bit more, before I take you home?”

Nodding, you rested your hand on his forearm as he shifted gears.  “I’d like that.”

***

You both sat on the swinging bench, your bare feet brushing softly over the cool grass as he used one foot to push the swing.

He looked down at your naked feet happily kicking in the air, as you swung.  “You’re like a little gypsy.”

Shrugging, you said, “I like to be barefoot as much as possible.  I can’t be tamed.”

He grinned, then nodded to your feet.  “Is it nice?”

“Bare feet on soft grass?  It’s the best.”

“Aren’t you worried of stepping on something sharp?”

“I have before.  It’s not the end of the world.  It hurts, you heal, and you get over it.”

“Shall I?”

“Please do.”  He took off his shoes and socks, and gingerly rested his feet on the bare grass.  “It’s nice, isn’t it?” you teased.

“It is nice.”

“See?  I taught you something new.”

He rested his arm on the bench, behind your shoulders.  “So…”

“Mm?”

“I was thinking.”

“Yes?”

“How about you go out with me again this Friday?”

“Okay.”  He smiled in satisfaction.  “Oh, wait, no!  I can’t!”

He pouted, sliding his hand into your lap to wrap around yours.  “Why not?”

“I’m supposed to go to a thing with my best friend on Friday night.  Her boyfriend is out of town, but she has been wanting to go for weeks, and I can’t let her go by herself.”

He nodded.  “You’re very loyal.”

“That’s my curse.”

“What about Saturday?”

You shook your head flirtatiously.  “I don’t know.  It depends.  What do you want to do?”

“Spend time with you.”

“Hm.  Sounds good.  Count me in.”

“It’s a date.”  He leisurely stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.  “So, tell me about your family.”

“I just have two older brothers, Jameson, and Keegan.  Well, they’re my half brothers, but they’re my brothers, you know?  They’re annoying, overprotective, annoying, sweet, annoying, thoughtful, did I mention annoying?” You sighed.  “I love them.”

“Do they help you with your dad?”

“No, they’re my mother’s sons, from her first marriage.  Her first husband was a soldier, and died overseas.  What about you?”

“I’m the eldest.  I have three sisters, and a younger brother, all of whom live in various parts of the world.”

“Do you miss them?”

“A little.”

“I would miss my brothers terribly if they left the state.”

“That’s because you’re a delicate flower,” he teased.

You snorted.  “That’s certainly not true!”

“A dainty bloom.”

“You can shut all the way up.”

“A fragile blossom.”

“How many synonyms are you going to go through?”

“That’s all I’ve got.”

You started to push him playfully, but then caught yourself, and lowered your hand.

He frowned.  Tentatively, “I’ve noticed you start to touch me a few times, and then stop.  What’s wrong?”

You shook your head.  “You’ve noticed me start to hit you a few times, and then stop.”

“Why’d you stop?”

“You want me to hit you?” you asked dubiously.

“Well, it’s not like you’re about to punch me in the face.  I like it when you’re playful.  It’s cute.”  You shook your head, and looked away, your expression shadowed.  “What’s wrong?  Did I say something wrong?”

“Of course not!  It’s just…when I was younger, I used to be very physically playful—I was a tomboy.  I used to love play-wrestling, and I would hit my brothers when we were joking around, that sort of thing.  But one day, when I was 19, Jameson told me to stop hitting him–that it was unfeminine, that I was always so violent, and that he didn’t appreciate being touched like that.  I was kind of surprised, considering he’s the one who taught me how to wrestle, and I had never hit anyone in anger. But…I said ‘Okay.  I’ll never touch you again,’ and from that day to this, I never have.”

“So, your brother’s a jerk?”

You blew out a breath.  “He was right.  I shouldn’t hit people.  It’s uncouth.”

He leaned forward, taking his hand from behind you and running it frustratedly through his hair, before curling it back around your shoulders, and pulling you almost imperceptibly toward him. “You weren’t going around pile-driving people. People give friends and family love taps all the time!  It’s part of the human experience.  And unfeminine? Since when is he the arbiter of what constitutes femininity?  If he didn’t want you to interact with him that way anymore, that’s fine, but there are nicer ways to say it than he did.”

“Wow.  You, uh, feel really passionately about love-taps, huh?”

He subsided, cracking his neck, and leaning back.  “Sorry.  I just…feel…a little protective.”

“Of me?!”

“Of course!  I like you, and I don’t like seeing you upset.  Listen,” here he lifted the hand that he had been holding, and used it to roughly tap his chest.  “I can take everything you’ve got.  You don’t have to feel inhibited around me.”  His hand moved to your wrist, and relaxed, the weight of it causing your hand to open against his chest and slowly drag down.

You stared wide-eyed at your hand, splayed across his chest, feeling the firm muscles ripple under his clothes as he breathed.   You were suddenly very aware of his proximity, of his arm resting lightly against your shoulder blades, of his heart beating under your palm.  Swallowing involuntarily, you felt his eyes on your face, but you were too shy to meet them.  So, you turned to gaze at the glittering light the gibbous moon cast on the water.  You felt Baekhyun return your hand to your lap.

“So…” he started.

“So…”

“Is this awkward?”

You thought for a moment, then shook your head.  “No.  No.  It’s…nice.  I think I like it.”

***

90’s alternative blasted through the club speakers as Suzy wrapped her arms around your neck, slowly undulating to the beat.  Your arms were around her waist, your eyes closed as you moved to the driving cellos of Rasputina’s Transylvanian Concubine.

You were two drinks into the night, and feeling pretty mellow as you danced to the sultry music of your childhood.  A few minutes later, the song ended, and you and Suzy jumped up and down in delight.

“That was my favourite song!” you yelled, trying to make yourself heard over the stripped lo-fi drumbeat of Virgin State of Mind.

“I know!  I didn’t think that they’d play the indie stuff, too!”

“That’s why this club’s 90’s Night is the best.  You can even make requests.  The DJ is pretty cool.”

“Oh, do you know her?”

“We’ve hung out a bit.  I’ll introduce you later, if you like.”

You nodded, looking up at the DJ booth to look at the tall brunette, arms snaked with tattoos, silver nose ring glinting, side shave freshly cut. “Ugh, she’s so pretty!”

“So are you,” a smooth voice whispered, entirely too intimately in your ear.  You shivered in distaste, involuntarily turning as hands reached around you to remove your arms from your friend’s waist, and spin you in the opposite direction.  A tall, oily, middle aged man looked down at you.  Well, down at some parts of you, anyway.  His thick black hair was shellacked with product, and his shirt was half unbuttoned, showing a toned, but disturbingly shiny chest.  He had probably once been handsome, but bloodshot eyes, and a fine network of broken capillaries across his nose whispered that dissipation had begun to take its toll.

“Sorry guy, I’m not interested,” you said, shaking your head, and removing his hand from your wrist.

Suzy came to stand behind you, wrapping her arms possessively around your waist, and resting her chin on your shoulder, her black hair falling in a curtain over your arm.  “Sorry, this one’s taken.”

He held up his hands, grinning.  “Oh, two for the price of one.”

Your temper flared.  “No, none for the price of nothing.  Move along, old man.”

He held a hand to his heart in mock pain.  “Aw, come on, I just want to get to know you.  Would you like a drink?”

“She’s fine,” Suzy said shortly.

“I asked her,” he said with attitude.

You raised an eyebrow.  “I’m fine.”  You rolled your eyes, as he looked you up and down, biting his lip.  From which scum soaked swamp slogged this caricature, anyway?

“In that skirt, you certainly are!”  You had let Suzy dress you tonight, and she had chosen a flouncy black lace mini skirt, over a long-sleeved black lace shirt, and thigh-high, lace-up leather boots.

You decided to take the high road.  “Listen, whatever you’re looking for tonight, I hope you find it, but we’re not really interested in anything like that.”

He sighed heavily, shaking his head.  “Alright.  Take it easy.”

“You, too!” you chirped with false friendliness.

“Ugh, what a creeper,” Suzy said, as he sauntered off in search of fresh strange.  You nodded, leaning back to confidentially let her know that you had to use the bathroom.  “Alright, I’m going to get another shot.”

***

Your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for Suzy after you emerged from the bathroom.  Darn her and her tiny, birdlike bones.  You should start putting bells on her.  Starting for the bar, you figured that you’d begin your search there.  A strong hand grasped you by the wrist, and pulled you backwards.  For a split second, you let it, thinking that it was Suzy, but you quickly realized that her hands were much smaller than the one that was tugging you.  You turned to see the same greasy guy from earlier, a cocky grin on his face.

“Got rid of your little girlfriend, I see.  Wanna dance?”

You ripped your wrist from his grip, hissing in anger.  “I already said no.  Don’t touch me again!”

“Come on, baby!  Just one dance.”  His eyes roved hungrily up and down your body. “I’ll buy you a drink.”

“I don’t want a drink!”

His eyes shot above your head as you felt an arm snake its way across your neck, while another slid across your hips, pulling you back against a very hot, very taut body that gently, comfortingly rocked you from side to side.  Warm breath sighed past your ear, and you smiled in recognition.  You leaned your head back against a broad shoulder, turning to look at look at the side of Baekhyun’s face, as he smiled darkly at the finally silent stranger.

“Is the old man bothering you, pet?”

You lazily shook your head in negation, smiling up at him.  His eyes dropped to you, and then he turned you around, your bodies in profile. You reached up, and lightly raked your nails down side of his face, leaving livid red stripes against the warm gold.  He closed his eyes, jaw hardening against the slight pain.  Seeing his expression, you stood on your toes, slipping your hand to cradle the back of his head, while wrapping your other around his shoulder, pulling him closer to you, so that you could gently bite the side of his jaw. Baekhyun growled low, and then lifted his head, bringing his mouth close to yours, snarling softly as you undulated against him, your open mouth sending warm air over his, as you returned the snarl.  He lowered his forehead to yours, and all you could see was black, black, black as you looked up into his eyes. You smiled a wolfish smile and, in unison, you turned your heads toward the man who wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Any questions?” Baekhyun queried.

After a lengthy pause, the man came up with a response he thought the height of wit.  “I didn’t want you, anyway,” he muttered, backing away, and quickly disappearing into the crowd.

You hid your face in Baekhyun’s chest, your body shaking as you tried, unsuccessfully, to hold back giggles.

“Shhh!” he admonished.  “You’re going to blow our cover!”  He pulled you behind one of the club’s carved pillars, holding you tightly as you laughed hysterically.

“Did you see his face?!” you guffawed.

“It was priceless!”

You stopped laughing long enough to imitate the man’s stunned expression, and you both doubled over, holding your stomachs, and whooping.  You looked up at him, his mouth wide with laughter, and noticed how red the side of his face was.  “Oh, wait, wait!”  You lifted a hand to his reddened cheek, caressing the skin.  “Did I hurt you?”

He smiled, “Nah, it looks worse than it is.  I’m easily marked, remember?”

You nodded, but then another thought occurred to you.  “What are you doing here?”

He looked around, and then gestured toward the bar.  “You see my guy over there?”

Your eyes scanned the bar in the general direction of his hand until you saw a man slumped over with a drink in his hand.  You nodded.

“His girlfriend just broke up with him, and…here we are.”  He cocked his head, and sucked in a breath through his teeth.  “By the looks of it, I don’t think that I’m doing a very good job of cheering him up.”

You playfully tugged at the lapels of his black jacket, then slipped your hand inside to pull him closer to you, your palm sliding over the warm silk of his black dress shirt.  “You’re cheering me up marvelously.”

“Whoa,” he grinned, tapping your nose.  “Someone’s been in the sauce.  Feeling a bit tipsy, are we?”

You crinkled your nose, then pouted.  “I’ve had two whole drinks!”

“I’ve had two whole drinks!” he mocked.

You laughed and then stomped your foot.  “Don’t imitate me!”

“Don’t imitate me!”  

You snorted, and swatted a hand over his jean-clad bottom. He grinned mischievously, looking at you sideways.  “I guess I’ll have to give you back to him, huh?” you pouted.  Just then Suzy walked up, looking between the two of you uncertainly.  “Suzy!” you said, throwing your arms around her, and pulling her closer.  You leaned over and whispered in her ear, “This is Baekhyun.”

She surveyed him coolly up and down, and held out her hand.  “Suzy.”

He shook it with a charming grin, “Byun Baekhyun.  I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Suzy gave him a cold smile.  “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.

You hissed, and bumped her with your hip, giving her a look.  Be nice!

She looked back at you.  I am being nice!

You pouted.

She narrowed her eyes, and then rolled them, throwing an arm around your shoulders.  “Look, Byun, I’m sure that you’re a really nice guy, and I’m all ready to love you, but I have to tell you, if you hurt my best friend, I’m coming for you.”

Baekhyun smiled angelically.  “If I hurt her, you have full permission to put your Louboutin so far up my butt, I taste shoe polish.”

Suzy grimaced, side-eyeing you.  “Sooo gross.  You two are actually made for each other.”

You grinned, and turned your attention back to Baekhyun.  “Why don’t you invite your friend to hang out with us?

He made a face, and then said, “Let me go talk to him for a minute.”

You watched him as he walked off, eyeing him as he smoothly moved through the crowd.  Leaning toward Suzy, you said confidentially, “I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him walk away.”

She turned to you.  “You, my friend, are cut off for the rest of the night.  You are such a lightweight!”

You gave her a brilliant grin, glancing at Baekhyun as he threw his arm around his friend.  “Sometimes I want to sink my teeth into his bottom, like a peach.”

“I don’t want to hear about your perverted fantasies.”

Dreamily, “His shoulders are so wide, and strong.  He really knows how to fill out a suit well, if you know what I mean.”

Suzy glanced toward the bar.  “I’m not entirely sure that I do.”

“You know what else?  I can’t stop thinking about how good his thighs would look in tight black leather pants.”

“Down, girl.”

“No, seriously, though, just look at them.  He has the thighs of a mythical Greek hero.”

She squinted, then looked back at you incredulously.  “Just what did they put in those shots?!”

“What’s so confusing is that he’s simultaneously so hot, and so cute.  Have you seen his upper lip?  It’s like a baby’s!  It’s so pink and delicate. I don’t know if I want to kiss him, or stuff his mouth with sweets.  I’m so conflicted.”

“That’s why I like you,” she said drily.  “You really get to the heart of the hard-hitting questions of our age.”

“Okay, did I not listen to you wax rhapsodic about your precious boyfriend’s Adam’s apple?

“Valid.”

“Thank you.”  You sucked in a breath, “I know that we’ve only been on two dates, and okay, maybe part of it is because he saved my life, but something about him is driving me crazy.  He’s so perfect that it’s scary.”

“Everyone feels that way in the beginning.  It’s called infatuation.”

You gave her a look.  “Are you really trying to give me a psych lesson?”

“No, I’m just trying to be the voice of reason.”

“Isn’t that my job?”

“Which is why this is so scary!”

You laughed.  “Don’t worry.  I know I sound obsessed, but I’m just enjoying being in crush.  It has been…years.  I didn’t think that it was ever going to happen again.”

Her eyes softened.  “I told you that it would.”

Sighing, “I know, but just someone says something doesn’t make it true. Especially if they love you.”

She was silent for a moment.  Then, “Okay.  Logic-Suzy is gone.  Let’s perv.”

You turned to her, grinning.  “He usually wears these three piece suits to work, and he looks so delicious that I just want to tie him down, blindfold him with his own tie, and—“

Suzy glanced up, eyes widening with panic, and then clapped a hand over your mouth.  You mrphed indignantly.  “Hi, Baekhyun! Welcome back!” she said brightly.

Your eyes widened as you heard his amused voice behind you.

“No, no, no, move your hand.  I want to see where this goes.”

“Why doesn’t the earth ever open up and swallow you when you want it to?” you moaned, turning to him, with your head hung low in shame.

Baekhyun smiled sweetly, looking at you as if you were the cutest thing in the world.  Leaning forward, he whispered in your ear.  “Don’t feel bad. That pencil skirt that you were wearing at the museum caused me to have a few inappropriate thoughts of my own.”

You felt your face flame, and you floundered to change the subject before you could go into a full-body blush.  “Uh…so…what about your friend?!”

He shook his head, and gestured behind him.  You peered over his shoulder to find his friend had gone.  “He decided that drinking his sorrows wasn’t the healthiest idea, so he’s going to go home, and drown them in ice-cream, instead.”

“Shouldn’t you go with him?” you asked.

“Nah.  He mumbled something incoherent, but the general gist was that at least one of us should be happy.”  He raised his eyes to look at both you and Suzy.  “Are you hungry?”

You and she looked at each other, reading each other’s thoughts.  Hours of dancing had made you both ravenous. She answered for the two of you.  “Starving.”

He gestured to a booth near a quiet corner that had just opened.  “Let me get us something to eat.”

Suzy raised an eyebrow.  “I like you better, already.”

***

The table was littered with partially-drunken glasses of liquour, empty bottles of cider, and well picked-over dishes, most of which belonged to Suzy.  You and Baekhyun slipped out of the booth, leaving a very unconscious Suzy to sleep off her alcohol haze.  Before you could spirit him away to the dance floor, he took off his jacket, and laid it over the gently snoring body of your best friend, covering her bare legs. Your heart throbbed at the conscientious gesture.

“To be so tiny, she can really put it away,” Baekhyun whispered incredulously.

“That’s her charm.”  You clasped his hand in both of yours while Shirley Manson’s voice purred seductively over the speakers.   Walking backwards, you pulled him through the crowd, his eyes on yours as you guided him to the dance floor. Once you sensed a clear spot, you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him close, and tilted back your head to look up at him. “…I lose what I love most…Did you know I was lost until you found me?…”  “Do you have any idea how glad I am to see you tonight?”

His arms tightened around your waist at your whispered words.  He smiled down at you, face full of satisfaction as his eyes lazily roamed your face.  “Do you have any idea how glad I am that you’re glad to see me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

His eyes darkened as he looked inward at some unpleasant memory.  “Some people want to claim you, but still play around behind your back.”

You sighed deeply, swaying to the music like a slender reed in the summer breeze.  “That’s not my style.  I’m not built to cheat.”  You scrunched your nose, and wriggled your hips, making him laugh.  “I’m built for comfort, not for speed.”

“Good girl,” he said, firmly patting your lower back.

“So…is there a story there?”

“Isn’t there always?”

You leaned closer, gently caressing his jaw, and watching the emotions play over his face.  “Tell me?”

He shook his head, eyes closed.  “She doesn’t matter.  You’re here, now.”

You tilted his head down, capturing his eyes when he opened them.  “What about you, Baekhyunnie?  Are you faithful?”  “…You say that you’ll be there to catch me… Or will you only try to trap me?”

He leaned forward and nuzzled his nose to yours, causing you to smile.  “I couldn’t cheat–wouldn’t even want to.  I think that an unbreakable connection between two people is the most beautiful thing in the world.”

Your sigh of content ghosted over his mouth.  You closed your eyes, letting his sweet words sink past your slight inebriation to touch the cold, dark place deep inside.  “Stroke of luck, or gift from God?  Hand of fate, or devil’s claws?  From below, or saints above, you come to me…”  You slowly shook your head.  “What’s wrong with you?”

He raised his eyebrows.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s wrong with you?  You present as perfect, so I know that there has to be some sort of nasty little secret you’re keeping deep down in the dark.”

He looked away from you, and smiled.  “I…like eating crackers in bed.”

You gasped.  “Shameful!”  Turning in his arms, you wrapped his hands back around your waist, rolling your body to the music.  His breath hitched, and you smiled to yourself.  “What else?  You heard him swallow hard before continuing.

“Sometimes I open snacks and eat them while I’m shopping.”

“Do you still pay for them?”

“Of course!”

“Well, then, that’s alright.”

“I’m trying to confess here, pet.”

“What else ya got?”

“I’m stubborn.”

“You don’t say!”

He chuckled.  “Well, what about you?  What are your darkest secrets?”

You pondered.  “Once, when I was six, I accidentally stole a candy bar…”

“You little criminal!”

You slapped him on the arm.  “Shut up!  I still feel guilty about it!”

“How does one accidentally steal a candy bar?”

“I thought that my dad said, ‘Yes’, when I asked if I could have it, but he was saying ‘Yes’ to someone else with whom he was talking.”

“That’s not so much stealing as a misunderstanding.”

“He threatened to send me to jail.”

“At six?!”

“Well, he didn’t believe in corporal punishment, so he did the most drastic thing that he could think of, to leave an impression.”  You laughed. “By the end of it, he was ‘crying’ more than I was, at the idea of having to be separated from me, due to my impending jail time.  So, we made a pact that he wouldn’t tell, so that I could stay with him.”

“Unsure if that’s adorable, or horrifying.”

“It’s a ‘look back and laugh’.” Baekhyun just smiled uncertainly.  “I guess you had to be there,” you said awkwardly.

He spun you around, running his hands from your shoulders down to your waist, rocking his body from side to side to the beat.

“You’ve got some pretty sweet moves, there, Byun.”

“You’re a pretty good dancer, too.”

“Eh, just because these are all slow songs.  What I lack in rhythm, I make up for in enthusiasm.”

He smiled, shaking his head.  “Don’t try to distract me, pet.  You were busy baring your soul.”

“Ah, yes.  Let’s see…”  You leaned up to whisper in his ear.  “I cheated on an Econ exam once.”

He looked shocked.  “Wow!  I really am dating a criminal.”

You blushed.  “I had to take first year Econ as a requirement for PoliSci, and I had no idea what I was doing, so…”  You shrugged.  “I cheated just enough to pass the exam–I wasn’t trying for an A, or anything.  I even left a question blank.  After the papers were passed back out, the professor called me up to the front–I just knew that I was going to be busted–but he just yelled at me for the question that I left blank.  He said that he knew that non-Econ majors had to take the class, as part of their major’s reqs, so he took that into account when he graded, and would go easy on us.  He told me that if I put anything, anything at all that related to econ, he could give me some points for it, but if I left something blank, he’d have no choice but to give me a zero.  I skated by his class with a B-, and I’m still grateful for it.  That man was a saint.”

“That was really nice of him.”

“I know!”

“You’re still a lawless hooligan, though.”

“I’m bad to the bone, baby!  What’s it like dating a bad girl?”

“I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I find one.”

“Contrarian!”  You leaned over and nipped his shoulder.  

He laughed, his eyes shining.  “What else?”

“That’s it.”

“That’s it?!”

“Those are my deepest, darkest secrets.”

He reached up to gently stroke your hair.  “You are a good girl.”

Wrinkling your nose, you moved your head away from his hand.  “Make no mistake, Byun.  I’m not a good girl.  I’m a nice girl.  There’s a distinct difference.”

He pulled you a little closer, causing you to blush at the intimate contact, and you were thankful that the darkness of the club hid the heat in your cheeks.  “What is the difference?”

“I pretty much always follow all the rules.  But I don’t always enjoy it.” You waved a hand airily.  “I keep my evil on the inside.”

“What rules would you like to break?”

“I wish that I could say what I actually think, instead of being polite, and politic all the time.”

“Everyone feels like that, pet.”

You flirtatiously pressed closer, letting him feel your curves slide against him as you slowly danced.  Standing on your toes, you drew close to whisper in his ear.  “Are you trying to convince me that I’m actually a good girl, after all?”  This time, as you drew back, you had the pleasure of watching him swallow involuntarily at your query.  

He raised his head, closing his eyes in an effort to stay in control. After a moment, he opened his eyes, and smiled down at you.  “I think that it’s time for all good little girls to be in bed.  Even you.”  You started to protest, when he sucked in a warning breath.  “It’s gone three, you’re tipsy, and I like you too much to co-sign your doing anything that you might regret tomorrow.”  He stood, holding your hands, and waiting.  After a bit of thought, you reluctantly nodded in concession, and he slipped an arm around your shoulder, and walked you back to the table where Suzy continued to peacefully snore.  “How did you get here?”

“We took an Uber.”

“Excellent.  I’ll take you both home.”

***

Baekhyun helped you carry a nominally conscious Suzy upstairs to her apartment, dropping her unceremoniously on her bed with a huff.  

You led him back to the living room couch, saying, “Wait here,” as you returned to change her into pajamas, clean off her makeup, and tuck her in.

He watched you from the couch as you quietly closed the door to her room. Standing, he reached for you, saying, “I’ll take you home, now.”

“I think that I should stay with her tonight.”

He smiled wistfully.  “You’re a loyal friend.”

“I just want to make sure she’s okay.  Take care of her if she gets sick, or anything.”

Just then, you both heard a key in the lock.  Turning, you saw Suzy’s boyfriend enter, and you skipped over to greet him with a hug. “Jongdae!  You’re back!”

He patted your back tiredly, cautiously looking over your shoulder, at Baekhyun.  “Yay, I’m back…” he said with markedly less enthusiasm.  He straightened, smiling down at you, though his gaze kept flickering behind your shoulder.   “I didn’t want to stay anothere night away from Suzy-Q, so I just drove back after the last lecture.”  Seeing the question in his eyes, you introduced them.  “Ah, so you’re the man trying to steal our little chickadee’s heart,” Jongdae laughed, ruffling your hair, as you unsuccessfully tried to push him away.

Baekhyun smiled, reaching out to gently card his fingers through your wild hair, carefully combing, and smoothing it back into place. “That’s me. And since you’re back…?” he looked at you questioningly.

You nodded.  “Sure, you can take me now.”  You turned to Jongdae, “I was going to stay with Suzy, after sending Baekhyun first, but since you’re here, I’m going to go home.”

Jongdae smiled at both of you, his eyes already starting to drift closed.  “I hate to be such a rude host, but I’ve been going since before dawn, and I’m dead…”

You got behind him, pushing him toward the bedroom.  “Go to sleep.  I’ll see you later.”

He waved vaguely over his shoulder as he entered the darkened bedroom, quietly closing the door.

You and Baekhyun tiptoed out of the apartment, and down the stairs.

“He seemed nice,” Baekhyun stated as you both slipped into his car.

“He is nice.  He’s an assistant professor of music.”

“Vocal, or instrumental.”

“Vocal.  Like you.”

“I like him already.”

You snorted, snuggling down into the plush seat.  You didn’t see Baekhyun look over at you, his gaze soft as he watched your face begin to relax into sleep.  

***

You awoke still in Baekhyun’s car, your seat pushed back, his jacket over your legs, as he gazed out his window.  Yawning, you sat up, and looked around.  “Home?”  He turned to you with a smile.  “How long have we been here?” you queried.

“I wasn’t watching the time.”

You looked at the sky, noticing the imperceptible lightening that preluded the dawn. “Why didn’t you wake me?  You must be tired!”

“I’m fine. Come on; let’s get you inside.”

He held your hand as he walked you to your door, guiding you up the steps as you practically sleep-walked across your porch.  

You unlocked the door, and then turned to give him your farewell.  After a moment, you realized that you were just staring at his chin, so you raised your head to look him in the eye.  

He leaned closer, eyes sweetly caressing your face.  

You watched him as he lowered his eyes to your mouth.

After a moment however, he seemed to come to a reluctantly made decision.  He moved his head to your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you, and giving you a warm, all-enveloping hug.  

You leaned into him, closing your eyes.  His hold was so steady, so comforting.  You could fall asleep just like this.  

With a sigh, he released you, moving back just far enough to drop a chaste kiss on your forehead.  “Goodnight, pet.”

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi!! A question I've always struggled with about liberation theology - don't get me wrong, i agree that God is on the side of the downtrodden and marginalized - but does this mean he doesn't care about the successful and accepted?? I realize this may not be the right place to ask, but you seem to know a lot about the subject. Thanks regardless!!

Hi there, wonderful question! As you can probably tell from my blog, I love liberation theology. And something I’m learning about it is that there isn’t one “version” of it – different liberation theologians may have different answers for you, so I’ll give my answer based on what I know of those theologians whom I’ve read and what I think myself.

What does a “preferential option for the poor” even mean?

First, let’s clarify what liberation theologians (and others) mean when they claim that God has a “preferential option for the poor.” Does it mean that God loves the poor more than the rich, the oppressed more than their oppressors?? And does it contradict the places in scripture that state that God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34; Romans 2:11)??

God does indeed show no partiality, and loves no one person or group of people over any other – and liberation theology actually affirms this, rather than contradicts it. It is because God loves all people that God “prefers” the poor – a word that, in liberation theology, does not mean “likes better” but rather something like “focuses more attention on” or “takes special care of.” 

Gustavo Gutiérrez explains this preference in terms of what takes precedence: “Preference implies the universality of God’s love, which excludes no one. It is only within the framework of this universality that we can understand the preference, that is, ‘what comes first.‘” So it doesn’t mean that God is ignoring the privileged but that those who are marginalized and vulnerable come first. 

I think an explanation of why “Black lives matter” does not mean that other lives don’t matter can help explain why God’s preference for the poor does not mean greater love for the poor or a hatred of the rich/oppressors/privileged. The purpose of the phrase “Black lives matter” is to point out that Black lives, which are treated in American society like they don’t matter, actually do – to emphasize Black lives because they have been de-emphasized, because they have been treated like nothing, because their inherent worth has been denied through systemic violence. Its purpose is not superiority but equity – to raise Black people’s lives and rights up to the same level as all other lives. 

Likewise, the analogy I’ve heard used by Black Lives Matter about firefighters is a good one for our purposes too: if there is a burning house and a non-burning house, firefighters are going to pay much more attention to the burning house. It would not actually be “equality” or “loving both equally” for the firefighters to use half their water on the burning house and half on the non-burning house – it would be an injustice to the burning house. The firefighters give more care to the burning house because the burning house needs it more. 

God gives the poor special attention and care not because God loves them more or because they are necessarily more “worthy” of attention and care, but because their worth has been denied and dishonored by the world. As the Puebla Conference held in 1978 in Lima, Peru, explained it, “The poor merit preferential attention, whatever may be the moral or spiritual situation in which they find themselves. Made in the image and likeness of God to be [God’s] children, this image is dimmed and even defiled. That is why God takes on their defense and loves them.”

In his book On Job, Gustavo Gutiérrez also describes how it’s not about who “deserves” God’s love or care: “God has a preferential love for the poor not because they are necessarily better than others, morally or religiously, but simply because they are poor and living in an inhuman situation that is contrary to God’s will.”

In this way, Gustavo Gutiérrez claims, “This preference for the poor…is a key factor in authentic divine justice.” Because God is just, God must show particular care to those most in need of justice. 

God’s preference for the poor in scripture 

This idea of a “preference” for the poor/oppressed/marginalized has biblical basis. This webpage notes this fact in describing the history of the term:

“The phrase ‘preferential option for the poor’ was first used in 1968 by the superior general of the Jesuits, Father Pedro Arrupe, in a letter to his order. The term was later picked up by the Catholic bishops of Latin America. In its early usage, particularly, the option for the poor referred especially to a trend throughout biblical texts, where there is a demonstrable preference given to powerless individuals who live on the margins of society. The liberation theology movement fully embraced the concept, particularly when they closely associated the poor and vulnerable with Jesus himself, citing Matthew 25, ‘Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me.’”

In On Job, Gutiérrez uses Matthew 11:25-26 to explain further just what it means for God to “prefer” the poor. The passage:

At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”

Here we see that God does indeed have a “preference” for the poor – here, for “infants” over those who are wise. It is the uneducated whom God favors with “hidden things” – why? Gutiérrez says:

“The condition of being privileged addressees of revelation is the result not primarily of moral or spiritual dispositions but of a human situation in which God undertakes self-revelation by acting and overturning values and criteria. The scorned of this world are those whom the God of love prefers.

…The real reason, then, for Jesus’ gratitude is his contemplation (in the full sense of the term as a form of prayer) of the Father’s goodness and love that reach out to the simple and the unimportant, and give them preference. This predilection, which does not imply exclusivity, is underscored by the hiding of revelation from the wise and important. An entire social and religious order is hereby turned upside down.”

Some other examples in scripture of God choosing the poor/marginalized/oppressed over the rich/oppressors/privileged: 

God’s choosing of younger sons over their older siblings in a society in which older siblings got everything (I’m talking about Jacob, Joseph, David, and so many more)

God’s choosing of and special care for women in a society in which women were marginalized and vulnerable (think of Hagar, of Deborah and Jael, of Hannah, of Jesus’ interactions with various women, his respect for them and sharing special wisdom with them)

God’s special care for people who are depressed, downtrodden, unloved or rejected (think of Leah, Elijah, David when he’s an outcast and on the run from the law, Ruth and Naomi who are foreigners and widows)

God’s various declarations of care for the oppressed, such as in Isaiah 56 (a message to foreigners and eunuchs that they have a place in God’s house), and Jesus’s quoting of Isaiah to proclaim he has come “with good news for the poor” and to set captives free (Luke 4). 

Hannah’s song of praise in 1 Samuel 2 and Mary’s song of praise in Luke 1 both speak of God’s preference for the poor – “God has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; God has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.”

Using this theology to carry out justice 

So what does all this mean for us, in how we act out our faith on an individual and systemic basis, on our own and with our church communities?

Gutiérrez says that recognizing the option for the poor will inspire us to solidarity: “Belief in God and God’s gratuitous love leads to a preferential option for the poor and to solidarity with those who suffer wretched conditions, contempt, and oppression, those whom the social order ignores and exploits.”

In this way we will be moved to stand with the poor and even to suffer with them. Hopefully we will be inspired to confront injustices ranging from economic and social injustice to racism, homophobia and transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia and anti-Semitism, sexism, and all systems that pit some groups over others, that dehumanize and trap people in cycles of suffering.

Bishop Desmond Tutu lauds the way that liberation theology gives voice to the suffering of the innocent: “Liberation, theology more than any other kind of theology, issues out of the crucible of human suffering and anguish. It happens because people cry out, ‘Oh, God, how long?’ ‘Oh God, but why?…’ All liberation theology stems from trying to make sense of human suffering when those who suffer are the victims of organized oppression and exploitation, when they are…treated as less than what they are: human persons created in the image of the Triune God, redeemed by the one Savior Jesus Christ and sanctified by the Holy Paraclete.”

Thus liberation theology can help us give voice to our own suffering and compel us to hear others’ suffering, so that we will be moved to right that suffering. Lamentation and crying out to God is something many of our churches are rusty at – because it’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, and we often fear that it’s “blasphemy” to yell at God. But from Job, Habakkuk, and the Psalms to Jesus in the garden and on the cross, scripture shows us that God invites and encourages us to cry out, to bring all our messy emotions to Them – and to let others give voice to those emotions, too. 

Good news for the rich and privileged, too?

Finally, what good news is there in liberation theology for those who are not “the poor” whom God prefers – for those who are the rich, the privileged, the oppressors?

I wish I could find the passage (I think it is in Gutiérrez but it might be from a some other theologian I’ve read in seminary), but I know I have heard this somewhere: God being on the side of the poor means the spiritually poor too! Those of us who are oppressed by our own sins, our own corruption, our complicit-ness in sinful social structures, are part of God’s preference. 

As Jesus puts it in Luke 5:32, “I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” Luke 19:10, then, says that “the Son of Humanity is come to seek and save that which was lost.”

Think also of biblical figures whom God chooses even though they are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination: Moses was a murderer, and Paul was too; Jacob was a trickster and yet was even blessed for “striving with God and with people”; Jesus ate with tax collectors and chose disciples who would doubt and betray him; and on and on.

God’s preferential option is thus at work on the oppressors, and on those of us who benefit from oppression whether we want to or not. It reminds me of feminists’ argument that feminism helps men too – because it can free them from the constraints of toxic masculinity. 

Now, God’s preferential option may show itself in different ways for the privileged than it does with the oppressed – it may show itself in the Spirit’s urging us to do the hard work to combat sin, both our individual sin and the systemic sin from which we benefit. It may show itself in God’s refusal to leave us to our sin that harms others, in God moving us to empathy and solidarity with the oppressed – which is never comfortable, and often painful. But it is how we move towards God’s shalom, the wholeness and abundance of life God is bringing about for all people and all creation, and so I thank God for how They unsettle me from my own comfortable privilege. 

Note, I’m not sure all liberation theologians would agree with this idea of the privileged being counted in God’s option when it comes to “spiritual poverty” in this way; I’m not even sure I fully agree with it – so in that case, even if there is not any good news specifically for the rich/privileged, at the very least there is not “bad news” for them in liberation theology. God still loves them intensely; the preferential option for the poor doesn’t change that.

Still, I would argue that those of us who are privileged in one way or another should rejoice at God’s option for the poor whether or not it directly “benefits” us, because it is directly benefiting other members of the Body of Christ. We should long for and be striving toward wholeness, dignity, and justice for the oppressed and marginalized. After all, in this Body of Christ to which we all belong, “if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26).

Some more resources

I hope this helps you out, anon! Let me know if you have more questions. And if anyone has more thoughts on this topic or any comments on what I wrote above, I’d love to hear them!

For more on liberation theology and explanations of God’s option for the poor:

– you can read the first bit of Gutiérrez’s On Job for free here.

– I like this article’s explanation of the preferential option for the poor, calling it an “option that’s not optional” and applying it to today’s context 

– this webpage lists some more reasons God might have an option for the poor

– see all the quotes collected in my liberation theology tag

– see this post for book recommendations for liberation theology as well as theologies sometimes considered to be “subsets” of or at least related to liberation theology, such as queer theology and Black theology

– does anyone have more resources? Share them!

[diosa-loba]

Hair is a Woman’s Glory — But Why? by Deidre Havrelock

Not too long ago (2014) I had a very telling dream. The dream took place during a time in my life where I was calling out to the Spirit to tell me about Eve. In particular, I wanted to know why Eve (and women) in general have had to struggle with a lack of authority.

In my dream I was looking in the mirror admiring my hair. My hair was full and vibrant… it looked absolutely fabulous! I was filled with thankfulness over the glory of my gorgeous hair!! The verse in 1 Corinthians 11:15 never felt more true:

Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair, it is degrading to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. –1 Cor. 11:13–15

Young’s Literal Translation puts it this way:

And a woman, if she have long hair, a glory it is to her, because the hair instead of a covering hath been given to her. –1 Cor. 11:15

And the Darby Bible puts it like this:

But woman, if she have long hair, it is glory to her; for the long hair is given to her in lieu of a veil. –1 Cor. 11:15

However, as I ran my fingers through my seemingly fabulous locks, I noticed the opposite was in fact true. Underneath a thin layer of seemingly thick and glorious hair, lay my bald head completely shaved!! I became furious. I was indignant. Who had done this to me?! And Why?

I immediately woke up. And as I lay there in bed, I was still mad as hell. How dare someone shave my glorious hair! I then remembered my prayer the night before regarding my question about the lost authority of Eve. I was now 1) confused and 2) excited.

I was confused because I now understood that hair and authority were linked in some weird way and I was simultaneously excited because I knew the Holy Spirit wanted to tell me about why they were linked. The rather confusing verse in 1 Corinthians 11:10 went through my mind:

Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man. For this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head. –1 Cor. 11:9–10

I immediately ran to my Bible intending to do a study on the significance of hair and there I stumbled upon a very interesting verse that illuminated me in regards to the symbolic purpose of hair.

Before I tell you what that verse was, fast forward a bit to the release of Wonder Woman: Rise of the Warrior (2017) and take note of the movie’s all important tag line — “THE FUTURE OF JUSTICE BEGINS WITH HER.”  When this movie came out, I was thrilled. I grabbed my daughters and off we ran to the theater.

After the movie, my middle daughter (who is super intuitive) said “I really loved that movie except there was one thing I didn’t understand.”  Well, the one thing that made my daughter stop to think is included in the video clip below. It’s the part where Diana makes the decision to cross “no man’s land” — the land that no “man” has been able to cross. And the part that got my daughter wondering was the moment Diana stops to loosen her hair. My daughter was wondering if that moment was important and if it was …. why? I mean, why does Diana stop to let her long hair loose — surely, all that annoying hair is just going to fly in front of her eyes, obscuring her sight, right?

Well, thanks to my friend Bill Boyle, who wrote the book The visual Mindscape of the Screenplay I knew the image of Wonder Woman loosening her hair was not just a superficial, unimportant vain moment — it was there for a reason. It was a visual metaphor. Meaning, it carried heavy emotional significance. “But of what?” my daughter inquired.Perhaps watch the clip below before we move on to the wonder of Wonder Woman’s hair. This is the point in the movie where Diana makes the decision to step up for JUSTICE and to step out to HELP… this is the moment Wonder Woman steps into her divine PURPOSE and into her own AUTHORITY.

Notice how those loose locks are flowing and the people are following to fight! The reason this is such an emotional scene is not just because the female director planned it that way, it’s also because the moment carries with it a very important spiritual truth — a truth that is meant for women to grasp in their spirit. And that truth has to do with… you got it… hair.

When Locks Flow Loose…

Now remember that verse I was telling you about. The one that illuminated me in regards to the symbolic purpose of hair. Well, it’s found in the story of Jael.

Do you remember Jael? She’s the one who won the war for the Israelites when she drove a tent peg through Sisera’s skull. There she is to the left, busy at work in a painting by Jacopo Amigoni.

Now Jael’s story goes like this: the Judge Deborah (a woman in full authority) and her loyal general, Barak, unite and go after General Sisera and his Canaanite army. Barak completely destroys the army, but Sisera escapes. Sisera, according to Deborah (who is also a prophet), has a fate different from that of his army. Sisera’s life lies in the hands of an unassuming, rather pleasant — yet bold — woman named Jael… 

Jael came out to meet Sisera, and said to him, “Turn aside, my lord, turn aside to me; have no fear.” So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. Then he said to her, “Please give me a little water to drink; for I am thirsty.” So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him. He said to her, “Stand at the entrance of the tent, and if anybody comes and asks you, ‘Is anyone here?’ say, ‘No.’ ”

But Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, until it went down into the ground—he was lying fast asleep from weariness—and he died. Then, as Barak came in pursuit of Sisera, Jael went out to meet him, and said to him, “Come, and I will show you the man whom you are seeking.” So he went into her tent; and there was Sisera lying dead, with the tent peg in his temple. So on that day God subdued King Jabin of Canaan before the Israelites. Then the hand of the Israelites bore harder and harder on King Jabin of Canaan, until they destroyed King Jabin of Canaan.

  Then Deborah and Barak son of Abinoam sang on that day, saying:

“When locks are long in Israel, when the people offer themselves willingly��� bless the LORD!  –Jdg 4:18–5:2, bold added

The New Jerusalem Bible puts the verse this way…

That the warriors in Israel unbound their hair, that the people came forward with a will, bless Yahweh! –Jdg. 5:2

The New King James Version puts it this way…

“When leaders lead in Israel, When the people willingly offer themselves, Bless the LORD! –Jdg. 5:2

The Message says it this way…

When they let down their hair in Israel, they let it blow wild in the wind. The people volunteered with abandon, bless GOD!  –Jdg. 5:2

However, what each of these versions miss is that the word translated as “leaders” and “warriors” happens to be in the FEMININE (parʿâh). Ultimately, Deborah and Barak’s song is about women with flowing hair, or women in leadership:

When [the women] let down their hair in Israel, they let it blow wild in the wind. The people volunteered with abandon, bless GOD!  –Jdg 5:2

“When [female] leaders lead in Israel, When the people willingly offer themselves, Bless the LORD! –Jdg. 5:2

“When [female] locks are long in Israel, when the people offer themselves willingly— bless the LORD!  –Jdg 4:21–5:2

That the [female] warriors in Israel unbound their hair, that the people came forward with a will, bless Yahweh! –Jdg. 5:2

So there, within the story of Jael, we have the story of Wonder Woman (who, by the way, was played by Gal Gadot who just happens to be Israeli). Pretty cool, right? You probably won’t ever look at flowing hair the same way now — at least, I hope you won’t.

A Woman’s “Covering” is an Anointing

A “mantle” is a biblical covering (like a coat), usually made from hair. The covering represents authority, power, responsibility, as well as the office of a “prophet.” In other words, a person occupies the position of “prophet” because of a particular anointing. If a woman prophecies without her “covering” (say she has her head completely shaved) then she would be disgraced because the authority of that prophet has been taken from her. And why would a prophet speak unless it is with authority given to her by God?

A mantle or covering symbolically represents the Holy Spirit setting a person (or persons) apart for a particular work. John the Baptist wore a mantle made out of camel’s hair. Esau had so much red hair covering his body that he was said to have a “hairy mantel” (Gen. 25:25). Elijah, the prophet, had a powerful mantle and Joseph was envied and hated because of his beautiful long mantle:

Then Elijah took his mantle and rolled it up, and struck the water; the water was parted to the one side and to the other, until the two of them crossed on dry ground.  –2 Kings 2:8

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he had made him a long robe with sleeves. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him.  –Gen. 37:3–4

Women have a god-given “mantle” or “covering” — the hair symbolizes this anointing that all women carry. This does not mean that women can’t cut or shave their hair. It just means that hair represents a spiritual truth. It’s as Paul explained…

We speak of these things in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual things to those who are spiritual. –1 Cor. 2:13

Women are anointed by God as the “helper.” Eve was created for the sake of Adam because Adam needed help from someone who, like him, also represented God on earth. Because of woman’s anointing as helper, she carries a symbol of authority — hair. If a woman was to lose her God-given authority, it is the same thing as being “shaved.”

Women are the ones who will come to the “rescue.” Women represent Eliezer (el-ezer) the “God of Help.” We are the Wonder Women of the world. We are the Deborahs. We are the Jaels — perhaps we lie hidden and unassuming, but we are prepared and willing to fight (or preach, teach, prophecy, and lead) when called upon by God.

Women in the church today are much like how I saw myself in that dream — our hair/authority only appears to be intact right now, but the truth is an enemy has shaved our hair and we are not operating at full authority/strength. But don’t worry because just as Samson once lost his hair (and his anointing) by letting his long locks become cut, woman’s power and authority is coming back.

This is why the story of Sampson ends on such an ominous note: “But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved” (Jdg. 16:22). Ultimately, Sampson’s last display of power ended up being his mightiest. And it will be the same for women.

That is the message to women today. Our authority is being restored, along with that so is woman’s purpose and power. Women have a very large role to play in regards to defeating the enemy and representing God here on earth. And despite the setback of once having our hair shaved by the enemy… our hair is growing back!

[mysamcedesmadness]

S.T.A.R.S. AU Samcedes Fanfiction Chapter 20

A/N: There have been a few folks who have asked me about this story and it’s truly one of my favorite ones and one of the ones that I’d actually love to transform into an original story, instead of an AU fanfiction. It’s been a couple of years since the last update. For that, I am sorry. But, this one honestly should be completed within the next few chapters. It’s not as long as some of my other stories.

Edit: I realized that I accidentally used the wrong name for Aphasia. Her name is actually Nthanda, not Jael..  So, if you read this before now, the name Jael is now gone and changed back to Nthanda for Aphasia.

Previously at S.T.A.R.S…

The team has not heard from Cassandra July, a concern that bothers them.  But, more importantly, the star children believe that they have figured out some semblance of a plan - a way out because their DNA remembers things from their history that had been suffocated.  Yet, Mercedes and Aphasia have gone through a portal… and nobody knows where to…

Baby, You’re a Star! 

Cassandra barely looked at Becky when she entered the office.  Becky gathered some things from her desk, into a box while Cassandra pretended not to notice her. When she stopped at the door, she mentioned, “They are going to destroy you if you move forward with all of this, and you might also ruin the rest of the world as we know it.”

“The fact that you’re still here immensely bothers me.” She waved her hand and two guards assisted Becky in leaving quickly.

***

It was becoming harder and harder for him.  Gaining the opportunity to leave was as hard as preparing everything which was needed!  And in the meantime, there she was, HIS wife, as beautiful as all of the stars combined, smiling and giving a portion of energy to Shihab for support...  Eosphorus clenched both of his fists and approached the table, “Make your selection,” he demanded and his eyes glared towards Danica.  She sighed and stepped away from the table...

Mercedes and Aphasia stumbled into the dark room and held onto each other, barely able to stay standing.  They heard voices and Mercedes quickly pulled her friend into a hiding space.  A light bounced into the room with the voices coming in, “There is no place in this palace that they won’t find out.  They have ears everywhere,” a woman’s voice said.

“They trust me.  Danica is my betrothed.  If anyone has a right to search for her, it is me.”

“We’ve BEEN searching, the woman’s voice said.  “We’ve searched with every power that we know of.  She’s just gone.  My advice?  Publicly mourn, and select another. I am leaving before her parents find out.”  Mercedes tried to get a glimpse of the woman, a small Asian with her hair in a bob.  She didn’t know her, but when the woman left, Shihab stuck around.  What was he waiting for?  

There were footsteps coming down the hall and he shuffled to hide.    Mercedes’ panicked.  He’d better not…  He went out of the room another way.  She sighed and the footsteps stopped.

“Danica?”  A voice said.  She grabbed Aphasia’s arm and backed further into the crevice.  “Is that you?”  The woman asked.

“Baby Nthanda  …  We need out of here,” Mercedes whispered.  “Please, please, please, please…”  Another portal opened and pulled them through, just as the door was opening and for a brief moment, Mercedes saw a face and felt a tremendous power as they returned.

All of the Starchildren were relieved to see them back, but Aphasia was shaken to her core and she looked at Mercedes. “Was that… real?” She wondered. “Did we really go home?”

Everyone gasped and reacted with shock and terror. Mercedes said, “I have to speak to Eosphorus.” 

He was with the inner circle whenever she and Aphasia walked in. Joe rushed to greet Aphasia and Mercedes went into the center of them, looking directly at Sam when she said it, “We went back. We were there. We were… home…” 

Everyone in the room was in complete silence for what seemed like forever, despite the fact that it was only for a few moments, then Jesse broke the silence by addressing the baby in the womb again. “Thank you, Friend.” To Tina and Mike he said, “We need to get started on tactical and logistics.” Sam and Mercedes both nodded in agreement and then dismissed the others to work or, in Aphasia and Joe’s case, relax.

Sam stared at her for a while and she awkwardly folded her arms and looked down. “I know. I know… I’ll have to play my part. I just… still don’t know how.”

“Ask the universe. All things must be revealed.”

.

The Universe. The Cosmos. God. Mother Earth. Father Time. Something, somewhere had the answers and the abilities. But damn it if Mercedes knew. Well… Danica… or even Cassiopeia reborn. That felt like blasphemy to her, for her to even think it. She wished for another visit. She wished for another prophecy. She prayed for it. But that was pretty hard when you didn't know who to pray to.

Well, even though it was taught to her in such an ugly place - the S.T.A.R.S. facility, she couldn't help but eventually turn to the old "Our Father prayer." 

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. On Earth, as it is in heaven… she gasped and "awakened" in Cassiopeia's throne room. "It's you!" She said.

"You begged me to speak."

"Are..  you "Our Father?" She asked, sheepishly. 

The woman smiled and came down from her throne, a brilliant sight, glowing and sparkling more than before, her face clearer than the previous vision, or else Mercedes just couldn't remember that one as clearly. "Father. Mother. These are earthly words. You didn't call me with your tongue. You called me with your spirit. Your energy. Your being. Your hope to do what the Universe needs. Your desire to be what the Universe created you to."

She touched her face and said, "Her will be done, on the planets, as it is with the stars. The number of translations never fully encompass the plan. As above, so below. On Earth, as it is in Heaven. Dear, Danica, you are one of the chosen ones. To come to Earth, from Heaven, to die, be reborn, and return to your home. This world will end. Worlds often do. Sometimes on their own, sometimes with a tool. Be that tool called the Devil, or the process called the Apocalypse. Be that tool called the Serpent or the process called the Fall of Man. Be that tool be called Lucifer and the process called the War in Heaven, all of this has happened before and it will happen again. In Heaven and on Earth. You served a great higher purpose. You came here to be the tool needed for the process of this world's end, and now, you will be able to go home."

"Wait. I'm the Devil, in this situation?" She clutched her heart.

"The devil is an earthly term for one of the Universe's tools. A child of Heaven, rebellious against their parents rules and will, cast down to Earth to destroy? When they taught you that story, it didn't resonate with you? In certain tongues, Danica means morning star and Eosphorus? Dawn bringer… you together was forseen ages ago. It had to happen."

"So WE are the devil?"

"You are obsessed with that title. You are no more the devil than I am God, and either way, the Universe controls these things. Much like the wicked king's game of wars."

"What do I do next?"

"Go home. Many stars have died for this world to exist. You aren't meant to die with it. You are meant to live in heaven." Cassiopeia leaned forward and kissed her descendent on the forehead. 

The sky opened and in the "twinkling of an eye" Danica woke up in her bed, home. What? Was that a dream? It couldn't have been! There was only one way to find out. She got out of bed and rushed through the castle. She saw members of her court, as they used to be, most of them looking just as confused as she felt, so she presumed that they knew and remembered the experience on Earth..  "Princess, you've been summoned by the King and Queen," Oracle Nashira told her. 

As nervous as she was, she decided to make her way there. "Find Nthanda for me and send her to me, at once!" She said as she went down the hallway. Where was Eosphorus? Where was Thuraya? 

As she approached her parents' chamber, she paused, took a deep breath and said a small prayer, "Thy will be done." 

"Princess Danica?" She heard. She turned to see Nthanda , thankfully still pregnant, though she was now adorned in one of her  dresses and some of her jewelry. "You sent for me?"

"Yes! My parents want to see me. I may need your help."

"This baby is resting. I think that he brought us all back here… but, I am willing to stand beside you anywhere."

They walked in together and Danica’s mother was seated on her throne, with Shihab in front of her. Both of them looked up to see her enter. “Danica… You shouldn’t bring one of your things into this place!” Her mother said, a vision, just like Danica, but older, with silver hair as luminous as stars and sparkling makeup and clothes. Nthanda had never seen the queen before and even now, averted her eyes, because she didn’t feel worthy to look  upon her.

“This is Nthanda . She isn’t my property. She is my friend.”

The Queen sighed and said, “Very well. Servants are sworn to silence, at any rate. You’ve been very busy, Danica. The state of that world that you crashed on has taken a drastic miserable turn.” The floor opened, much like it did whenever the king and queen would be about to watch a battle, but instead, they were all looking at Earth. 

Cassandra July was rounding up anyone who was thought to be a supporter of the starchildren, as she couldn’t find any of them. “That woman is going to kill a lot of people, if my oracle still has his talent, but it was good of you to not surrender. That shows weakness. A weakling could never sit in this throne. Only those of us strong enough and smart enough belong here… Where is the baby that you birthed there?”

Danica shook her head and said, “I don’t know… So… You saw me? You saw what was happening to me there and you just… did nothing?”

Her mother scoffed, “What could I do? You ran away from home and crashed in a place that we purposely avoid.”

“You could have found a portal opener. You could have tried to get us back, to rescue us!” Danica cried.

“It’s bad enough that you brought all of this riffraff back with you… Who ARE all of those people who reappeared with you?” She waved a hand to change the “channel” to the main courtyard and Nthanda and Danica watched as so many humans they sort of knew from Earth and babies and children appeared in the courtyard, while they appeared in their own rooms. 

“It’s like the 4400!” Nthanda cheered. Danica looked confused. “One of the shows that Auriga played when he took over the S.T.A.R.S. building!” She looked at a displeased queen and put her head down, embarrassed. 

“Auriga?” The Queen repeated, “The Wicked King’s descendant from the Enemy Prince’s kingdom?”

Nthanda nodded her head, “We were trapped on Earth together. He was our friend.”

“He was the doctor who made sure that you were docile enough to be raped and bred for human curiosity,” The Queen corrected.

“You saw all of that, and yet…” Danica looked around and wondered, “Where… Where is Father?”

The Queen sighed and said, “Unfortunately, his energy has returned to the well. But, since you were gone and Shihab was without partnership, he is now my king.” She gestured a hand to Danica’s former betrothed and both Danica and Nthanda were shocked (and Nthanda was a little bit grossed out. That Queen was centuries older than Shihab…)

“Wait. Father DIED, and you married my betrothed?” Danica said for clarification. “Shihab is now the KING of my kingdom?”

“You abandoned us,” Shihab said. 

Danica rushed to her mother’s feet and begged, “Mother, please… I don’t trust him. Someone tried to kill us and I don’t know that it wasn’t him…”

The Queen tilted her head and said, “You weren’t supposed to do what you did to this kingdom. You can’t do what it is that you mean to. Where is that baby, Danica?” 

“I told you that I don’t know! She didn’t reappear here with me!” The Queen nudged her head at her King and he tried to force Danica’s powers to search for Thuraya. She collapsed and Nthanda rushed to check on her. 

“She’s being honest. The baby is hidden from her, too.” Shihab said.

“Then, someone is hiding her. Post her image everywhere and comb the kingdom. We can’t let the forgotten queen return!” 

“You can’t what?” Danica asked. 

But, the Queen ignored her, to continue giving orders, “Round up every single person who came here with them, and reach out to the other kingdoms for whoever reappeared there too.” Shihab nodded once and left. The Queen said, “Whenever I was much younger than you, she showed herself to me, as well. She told me that my heir would rule this kingdom and that my child who bring to our world the reincarnation of the forgotten queen. I thought that she meant your brother. He was the heir, after all. It was a very difficult decision to smite the energy from his vessel. But, when we realized that it was you that she meant, you were fleeing with the enemy. It wasn’t as hard to make that decision…” She laughed, “And you lived. And I watched you die. I watched her die, but then you lived AGAIN. Well… I won’t have her return. I won’t have the world as we know it torn down!” She lifted her hands and soldiers emerged from the floor. Nthanda held on to Danica and the baby opened a portal to get them out of there, and to Eosphorus. 

Nthanda told him everything that they had just witnessed and everything that the Queen said. Danica was still in shock. 

“So… They think that Thuraya is Cassiopeia?” Eosphorus asked. “And they intend to do what to her? Kill her?” He wondered.

“Where IS she?” Danica wondered.

Nthanda said, “It seemed like everyone who was brought here was brought to a time and place that they were familiar with. Our castles, our chambers… The baby couldn’t have done that on his own. Does he know these things? He can’t, right? This was a group effort… So… Do we know where the other Pentalpha mommas are? Maybe…. That might lead us to Thuraya?” They quickly rushed to try to find their allies. 

In the streets of Eosphorus’ kingdom, images of Thuraya were already appearing all over town with hefty rewards promised. “It’s Auriga!” Nthanda said and pointed. He had his hands up, speaking with a guard in the courtyard, standing in between the guard and Rachel. “And Rachel!” she said. They rushed over and Eosphorus tried to speak to the guard while Rachel, Auriga, Nthanda and Danica spoke quietly to each other about what was happening.

“We were told that the Prince was dead. He crashed to the Earth, Lucifer’s Fall come to pass!”

“Look at me. Do you not recognize me? Contact my mother!” Eosphorous fussed and waved his friends away while this distraction was occurring. They rushed away during the argument, then Eosphorus vanished from the guard, to rendezvous with them around the corner.

Rachel shook her head and said, “So… no matter WHERE you go, you’re in hiding and being hunted?” 

Auriga scoffed and said, “I mean… Yeah, right now!”

“How are the humans here, too?” Nthanda wondered.

Rachel said, “Something happened to us. We aren’t human. I feel different…”

Auriga nodded and said, “Baby, you’re a star.”

“Wait… I’m… like one of you?”

“Not like one of us. Whenever you crossed over, you must have been given a vessel like ours, to hold your energy. Human bodies aren’t meant to exist up here. I mean… theoretically, we’re made of the same stuff, but we don’t have the same bodies.”

“Jesse…”

“Auriga. Jesse was a persona. One I hated. My name is Auriga, and we have to find our friends, and our family. I think all of them may be in danger.” 

Carmen had long since left from where the rest of the others reappeared. So, whenever they began to round them up, she wasn’t there, meaning that Thuraya wasn’t there, either. She couldn’t tell how she knew, but she felt like it was at least possible that the baby wouldn’t be safe, so whenever they appeared in this strange place, her with this strange body and a heap of babies crawling around at her feet, she searched for the one that she didn’t even know whether or not she would be there… But, she was. Thuraya appeared in the same place that the humans had. The starchildren? Carmen didn’t know. But, once she saw the images being put out to find the baby, she hid her in a basket, beneath another baby. “Please, don’t die,” she said. Hopefully, whoever that other baby was for would be okay for a while, until Carmen could get them back to their parents.

“You there! Woman!” Someone said. Carmen realized that even though her body was made differently, she had on her Earth clothes. “What’s in that basket? Looks like a baby!” 

“It is a baby,” She said and showed the dark brown baby that was on top of Thuraya. “My baby. We… just got here, from Earth. Funny story. I was sitting at home, then I was here, with a new body, Chile. Can you believe that?” The guard was trying to dig deeper into the basket, but Thuraya began to sing a song and the guard hypnotically backed away and let them go. Carmen sighed with relief, then got the hell out of dodge. 

She wondered where she could go in this place. Everything looked pretty shiny and new. Things seemed pristine, and here she was in old scrubs, covered in dirt and human stench… “What are you called?” A woman asked her. She turned to see a lady with an afro, selling clothes.

“Ummm… Whoopi,” Carmen said the first name that came to mind. If somebody found out about her, they might find out about the baby.

“Whoopi? This is funny, but pretty. You look like you need help.”

“Oh, no. I’m fine…” Carmen lied. 

The girl with the afro whispered, “I know who you are.” She pressed her finger over her lip and prepared a basket for her, “You need help. Remember me when the True Queen returns.”

Carmen raised an eyebrow, and asked, “Sure… Who are you?”

“I am called Sadal Suud. The True Queen has friends in this kingdom.” Carmen had no idea what that meant, but she would remember Sadal Suud… if it ever came a time for remembering her, because when she looked into the basket, there were clothes, garments and jewelry for her and clothes for two baby girls. 

“Sadal… Is there some place that I might be able to wash up and maybe rest?” Carmen asked.

“Yes, Whoopi. I have a place.” She smiled and gestured to someone in her tent. Whenever he came out, Carmen gasped, happily, “Joe!”

He smiled and shook his head, “It’s Cygnus.” His smile faded and he said, “ Nthanda was summoned with Danica to the Queen, then they fled and now she’s looking for them and Thuraya. I left the castle and came here, to Nthanda ’s sister.”

“This is Aphasia’s sister?”

“ Nthanda was my princess. I was a handmaiden to her before our people were conquered. She calls me sister, because she lost her crown. But, she will get it back. Prophecies flood the streets about the forgotten queen’s return. Already, she is being spoken of for the first time in centuries.”

“Come in, Carmen,” Joe said and held the tent open for her. 

“It’s not Whoopi? I like Whoopi better.”

“By all means, call me Whoopi.” Carmen came into the tent and told Cynus, “We’ll have to find some place to go…” She took the first baby out of the basket and revealed Thuraya. Cynus gasped and the baby took his thumb, to show him something. 

“It’s her. This is… This is Cassiopeia…” He said. 

Sadal gasped too and kneeled before the baby, “True Queen. Thank you for allowing your servant to see your face!” Thuraya played in her hair and it became silver, a sign of wisdom. “She’s blessed me! The stars will someday say Sadal Suud had faith in the True Queen and she was the first to be blessed when she returned!” Sadal cried before the baby and Carmen swept her up.

“I’m going to get her and myself changed. I don���t know who’s baby THIS is,” she gestured at the other. 

“I think if we can find Nthanda that I may be able to connect with our baby and see if somehow he can show me something to explain what we’ve stepped into. He brought us here, I’m sure… but I don’t understand why he brought so many humans and I don’t understand how those humans became stars.” 

.

Shihab’s men marching through the kingdom gave Nashira thoughts of dejavu… Only, not from her own lifetime. She was the Oracle, after all. She had seen many things from many times, but one thing that she had never been allowed to see was the face of Casseiopeia, so that timeline was generally blocked from her mind. But, somehow, some way, she was having thoughts of her. Thoughts of the kingdom after her fall. These soldiers of Shihab were so much like those of Capricornus. Then again, the Queen was a descendant of the Wicked King. “Oracle!” Shihab called and she turned around and he asked her, “Where is that baby being hidden?”

“I promise, I don’t know.”

“You were one of the main oracles of the history of this kingdom,” he said. “You were even so on Earth.”

“On Earth, as it is in Heaven. A crash doesn’t change my destiny, Prince Shihab. But, I don’t know where Thuraya is. Perhaps she doesn’t want us to know.” He stared into her and he cringed in the pain of him trying to force her powers to see what he needed to see… Her dead looking eyes stared out ahead of her and she saw Thuraya, with Carmen, Joe, and Aphasia’s friend. “In the town, at a tent,” she said, unable to stop herself, but not forced to say more, thank goodness. He let her fall weakly to the floor and her nose bled from trying to fight him. 

Mindwhisper… Are you still able to hear me, here? Oracle wondered.

YES! Nashira! Yes, I can!!!

Thuraya is with Cynus and Carmen Thibodeaux, at Nthanda ’s sister’s tent. Shihab is headed into town to find her!

We’ll get them, then I’ll come to get you!

Don’t waste your time on me… But, Sadal Suud… She is my successor… Danica felt Oracle’s energy return to the well and she clutched her heart. “She’s gone.” She told the others. 

“Emma?” Rachel asked, horrified. Danica just nodded, instead of correcting her. It would take a while before she learned their old names… and now, there was no reason for her to know Nashira’s… But history would. 

“Lets go get our baby,” Danica said to Eosphorus. They held hands and then teleported into the town, near the particular tent. They were right in Shihab’s path and Eosphorus smirked at him. He had been waiting years for this face off. Danica released his hand and made her way to the tent while Shihab and Eosphorus, right in the middle of the town, charged directly at each other, prepared to fight.

[bibliophileiz]

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Yockey knocks it out of the park with this debut -- ‘Asa Fox’ may be in my top five favorite SPN episodes. Directed by John Badham,featuring one of the best musical montages in the recent seasons before the title card and featuring the always perfect Sam Smith as Mary, Kim Rhodes as Jody and Lisa Berry as Billie, it is criminal that this one only has an 8.5 rating on IMDb. (I mean, Billie’s presence alone makes it at least a 9.) 

Anyhoo, let’s dive in.

In this opening scene, we meet baby Asa Fox racing through the woods running from a werewolf. And may I just say I am pissed that we didn’t get an AU Resistance Leader Asa Fox in Season 13 (one of my many disappointments from that plot thread.) Mary is the perfect blend of badass hunter and typical mom (cleaning Asa’s face). Also, her braids are super cute.

“Since the last time we saw you, I killed Hitler.” “Thank you?” Dean is a rom com chick, pass it on. Ellen and Asa were bros, it’s cannon. “We’re going to salt and burn the body tomorrow. I can’t believe I just said that like it’s something normal.” God, Dean is distractingly hot this scene.

How did the Winchesters get into Canada? Are you telling me they have fake passports?!?!

The actress playing Asa’s mom does not get the credit she deserves for this episode.(I looked her up, and she is Laurie Paton. She’s also in The X-Files.)

There should be more episodes that feature a shit ton of hunters getting wasted. “Nobody can take out five Wendigos in a night.” I want that episode.  THE BANES TWINS!  “She was, like, a good witch. Very Enya. It was the ‘90s.” “What did she teach you?” “Mostly how to seduce men.” Max. Buddy. I need you to give Dean a nudge. In other news, I want the Banes twins to be my best friends.

“It’s not like we’re in the live-till-you’re-90, die-in-your-sleep business.” That line has a lot of weight, especially now going into the final season.

Rollerskating ghouls!!! I want that episode too. Sam and Dean walking in just in time to hear that Asa and Jody banged is so awkward. 

Jody fangirling over Mary is still the cutest thing that has ever happened.  Mary’s short hair this season is the other cutest thing. Also, unrelated, but I love Sam Smith’s voice. My best friend once described my mom’s voice as sounding like a hug, and while I knew what she meant -- because she’s my mom and I’ve always gotten the same feeling hearing her talk (unless she’s mad) that I get when she gives me a hug, but I didn’t think other people would feel that way -- but that’s how Sam Smith’s voice sounds. Like a hug.

Big Sister Jody coming to Dean’s rescue, as usual.

How come Lorraine heard the name “Mary Winchester” and didn’t immediately assume Mary is Mary Winchester’s daughter who just has the same name? Maybe she just assumes all hunters are childless loners. “You’re the reason my son didn’t become an astronaut.” Also the reason he didn’t become a werewolf, Lorraine, keep up. I do think this scene is wonderful, because as Lorraine says, “Hunting was his whole life. He never married, never had kids--” Mary’s hearing the story of her own sons.  And the next scene is the same: Sam telling her Asa chose to be a hunter will later parallel him telling her he chose to be a hunter in “The Raid” (another criminally underrated episode. God, I love Season 12.) “Everywhere I go and everything I do, it just feels wrong.” Maaaaaarrrrryyyyy!!!! When Sam says Mary was still hunting in 1980, after Dean was born and “everyone” thought she had quit, Mary gets this guilty look on her face that is not really explored to its full potential. And I just want to say that in a perfect world where Jeffrey Dean Morgan was able to come back for a length of episodes and could have a fully developed arc (and not the delightful but kind of fan servicy one he had in the 300th) that THIS is the plot I would have wanted -- John being resentful of Mary for keeping her hunting life secret from him and, arguably, putting their sons in danger for it. 

You guys, this episode is already so good, and we haven’t even really gotten to the Agatha Christie-style murder spree yet. 8.5 my ass.

Also, Jared Padalecki is killing it this episode. I love his scenes with Sam Smith.

Is the blood dripping on Asa’s forehead supposed to parallel the show’s first scene? I mean, I’m sure it is, but I need some meta writer to explain to me why that is.

And here’s where the plot picks up. Also, we need more crossroads demons in our life. (Where’s my Bela Talbot Crossroads demon???)

“Go away.” “You’re not the boss of me.”  Billie and Dean is one of my favorite dynamics in the entire show. “You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown.”

Jael kills both a First Nations girl and then later Marlene and her kid to create angst for Asa. Does it count as fridging if it’s in dialogue? Turning off the water is so smart! I love me some smart villains! I love how Jody immediately takes command of the situation -- before Sam, even. I kind of always wanted her to be like Sam’s lieutenant.

“It’s a one-way ticket.” Billie is like me, and wants to watch the Agatha Cristie-style murder spree, which would be totally ruined if everybody could get out of the house.

Did Jael say, “Elvis has left the building”? That motherfucker ....

This is the first time we see Mary grab an angel blade, which means the angel blade Mary carries the entirety of this season is Asa’s.

Kim Rhodes makes a delightfully evil demon, and seems to have had a blast doing so. “I so hoped you’d kill your mom! Wouldn’t that be a riot?”

(also, my brother’s dog is named bucky, so every time a character says bucky’s name i just get really distracted.)

I like the hunters all saying different parts of the exorcism.

“That sucked.” Poor Jody!

You guys, Bucky sucks. Also, hanging the person you actually killed from a tree so that no one would suspect you actually killed him is like ... so opposite of what the demon-dealing-happy Winchetsters would do in this scenario that they can’t even comprehend how to handle it.

I just realized this ep even has an Agatha Christie-style reveal, with the murderer confessing all at the end after being revealed. (And everyone else’s identities/crimes/motivations being revealed FIRST.)

“I was wrong. Asa did have a family. I’ve even got grandchildren.” Wow, it’s almost like hunters can have families too.

“Mom to mom....” Why, oh why did Jody and Mary not hang out more?? (It’s because those fuckers at the CW cancelled Wayward Sisters before it could get filmed.)

Also, this scene between Billie and Mary is so. good. “She’s not alone.” Dean. Buddy. I love you forever. “Then I guess you’re just going to have to wait.” “Winchesters.” This scene is just *kisses fingers like an Italian chef* “So does this mean you’re coming home?” “Well, not yet, see I’m only contracted for like 10 episodes this season ....”

And scene.

I mean. This episode, man. Everything about it is criminally underrated. It’s not very flashy in terms of mytharc plot, but it contains so much rich worldbuilding, such great writing and acting, and a healthy dose of ominous foreshadowing the likes of which only Yockey can pull off.

Yockey knows the perfect characters to mix and match. (And I think the scenes between Lisa Berry and Jensen Ackles this episode became the inspiration for their even better scene in “Advanced Thanatology.”) This is the only episode we ever get that has Mary AND Jody AND Billie, three of the best characters. He also creates delightful original characters (which we’ll see again with Tasha Banes, Lily Sunder, Noah the eyeball-eating monster). I know this is the casting director, and not Yockey, but each of the actors playing those original characters were on point.

I also am a total fan of the Agatha Christie tropes -- to my knowledge, that had never been done with Supernatural before, but this episode was just the perfect combination of the two.

I can’t think of any major problems with this one, or even really minor ones. (I mean, the scene with Sam and Dean talking about Jody’s sex life is pretty awkward....) Keep ‘em coming, Steve Yockey. I will watch everything you ever write forever. 

[notaboutcat]

All the evens for Scarlett Winchester!

Thank you!! 2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? I always wanted to make a winsister oc because I found the dynamic between Sam and Dean so interesting. It made me wonder how a sister would change the dynamic as well. Also like the general atmosphere of the SPN universe and culture really influenced her. I wanted to make a female character in the very masculine-centric culture in supernatural.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? I’m really delving into hunter culture and a lot of angelic/religious lore, which really excited to do. Esp the hunter culture, bc I’m hoping to write more about different hunter cultures around the world, not just America. I’m excited to do it!!

6. Is there any significance behind their eye color? Her eyes are blue, adding to her resemblance to Mary. The resemblance particularly affects her relationship with her dad – it simultaneously makes him very protective over Scarlett while also keeping her at arm’s length because the resemblance upsets him at times.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? WELP, she’s got my feeling like an outsider with her siblings due to the large age gap between them, while the other two siblings are closer in age and seem far closer to each other (tho the age gap between me and my siblings is far bigger than the one between Scarlett and her brothers). Also just being a dumbass bisexual as well lol

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? Scarlett has three major love interests through the series (Connor, Jael and Gadreel) but considering only one of them is a canon character I’m only going to talk about Gadreel. I find him really fascinating as a character and love a good redemption arc, so I wanted Scarlett to go through a redemption arc of her own to give her a deeper understanding of him.  

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? Trying to find the motivation to write at the minute probably.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? OOOO ok the relationship with her family (I would say her brothers but her relationship with John has a big effect on her character arc) and her powers.

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry? Oof what happens to her in s6 and the fallout after that really fucks with Scarlett’s head and really triggers a lot of self-loathing within her.

18. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? That she’s pretty much me in a blond wig lmao

[dailybiblelessons]

Monday: Reflection on the Thirty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Monday: Reflection on the Thirty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Revised Common Lectionary Proper 28 Roman Catholic Proper 33

Complementary Hebrew Scripture: Zechariah 1:7-17

On the twenty-fourth day of the eleventh month, the month of Shebat, in the second year of Darius, the word of the Lord came to the prophet Zechariah son of Berechiah son of Iddo; and Zechariah said, In the night I saw a man riding on a red horse! He was standing among the myrtle trees in the glen; and behind him were red, sorrel, and white horses. Then I said, “What are these, my lord?” The angel who talked with me said to me, “I will show you what they are.” So the man who was standing among the myrtle trees answered, “They are those whom the Lord has sent to patrol the earth.” Then they spoke to the angel of the Lord who was standing among the myrtle trees, “We have patrolled the earth, and lo, the whole earth remains at peace.” Then the angel of the Lord said, “O Lord of hosts, how long will you withhold mercy from Jerusalem and the cities of Judah, with which you have been angry these seventy years?” Then the Lord replied with gracious and comforting words to the angel who talked with me. So the angel who talked with me said to me, Proclaim this message: Thus says the Lord of hosts; I am very jealous for Jerusalem and for Zion. And I am extremely angry with the nations that are at ease; for while I was only a little angry, they made the disaster worse. Therefore, thus says the Lord, I have returned to Jerusalem with compassion; my house shall be built in it, says the Lord of hosts, and the measuring line shall be stretched out over Jerusalem. Proclaim further: Thus says the Lord of hosts: My cities shall again overflow with prosperity; the Lord will again comfort Zion and again choose Jerusalem.

Semi-continuous Hebrew Scripture: Judges 4:8-24

Barak said to her, “If you will go with me, I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go.” And she said, “I will surely go with you; nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.” Then Deborah got up and went with Barak to Kedesh. Barak summoned Zebulun and Naphtali to Kedesh; and ten thousand warriors went up behind him; and Deborah went up with him.

Now Heber the Kenite had separated from the other Kenites, that is, the descendants of Hobab the father-in-law of Moses, and had encamped as far away as Elon-bezaanannim, which is near Kedesh.

When Sisera was told that Barak son of Abinoam had gone up to Mount Tabor, Sisera called out all his chariots, nine hundred chariots of iron, and all the troops who were with him, from Harosheth-ha-goiim to the Wadi Kishon. Then Deborah said to Barak, “Up! For this is the day on which the Lord has given Sisera into your hand. The Lord is indeed going out before you.” So Barak went down from Mount Tabor with ten thousand warriors following him. And the Lord threw Sisera and all his chariots and all his army into a panic before Barak; Sisera got down from his chariot and fled away on foot, while Barak pursued the chariots and the army to Harosheth-ha-goiim. All the army of Sisera fell by the sword; no one was left.

Now Sisera had fled away on foot to the tent of Jael wife of Heber the Kenite; for there was peace between King Jabin of Hazor and the clan of Heber the Kenite. Jael came out to meet Sisera, and said to him, “Turn aside, my lord, turn aside to me; have no fear.” So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. Then he said to her, “Please give me a little water to drink; for I am thirsty.” So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him. He said to her, “Stand at the entrance of the tent, and if anybody comes and asks you, ‘Is anyone here?’ say, ‘No.’” But Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, until it went down into the ground—he was lying fast asleep from weariness—and he died. Then, as Barak came in pursuit of Sisera, Jael went out to meet him, and said to him, “Come, and I will show you the man whom you are seeking.” So he went into her tent; and there was Sisera lying dead, with the tent peg in his temple.

So on that day God subdued King Jabin of Canaan before the Israelites. Then the hand of the Israelites bore harder and harder on King Jabin of Canaan, until they destroyed King Jabin of Canaan.

Complementary Psalm 9:1-14

<To the leader: according to Muth-labben. A Psalm of David.> I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;  I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you;  I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

When my enemies turned back,  they stumbled and perished before you. For you have maintained my just cause;  you have sat on the throne giving righteous judgment.

You have rebuked the nations,  you have destroyed the wicked; you have blotted out their name forever and ever. The enemies have vanished in everlasting ruins;  their cities you have rooted out;  the very memory of them has perished.

But the Lord sits enthroned forever,  he has established his throne for judgment. He judges the world with righteousness;  he judges the peoples with equity.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,  a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you,  for you, O Lord,  have not forsaken those who seek you.

Sing praises to the Lord,  who dwells in Zion. Declare his deeds among the peoples. For he who avenges blood is mindful of them;  he does not forget the cry of the afflicted.

Be gracious to me, O Lord. See what I suffer from those who hate me;  you are the one who lifts me up from the gates of death,  so that I may recount all your praises, and,  in the gates of daughter Zion,  rejoice in your deliverance.

Semi-continuous Psalm 83:1-4, 9-10, 17-18

<A Song. A Psalm of Asaph.> O God, do not keep silence;  do not hold your peace or be still, O God! Even now your enemies are in tumult;  those who hate you have raised their heads. They lay crafty plans against your people;  they consult together against those you protect. They say, “Come, let us wipe them out as a nation;  let the name of Israel be remembered no more.”

Do to them as you did to Midian,  as to Sisera and Jabin at the Wadi Kishon,  who were destroyed at En-dor,  who became dung for the ground.

Let them be put to shame and dismayed forever;  let them perish in disgrace. Let them know that you alone,  whose name is the Lord,  are the Most High over all the earth.

New Testament Lesson: Romans 2:1-11

Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things. You say, “We know that God's judgment on those who do such things is in accordance with truth.” Do you imagine, whoever you are, that when you judge those who do such things and yet do them yourself, you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But by your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath, when God's righteous judgment will be revealed. For he will repay according to each one's deeds: to those who by patiently doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; while for those who are self-seeking and who obey not the truth but wickedness, there will be wrath and fury. There will be anguish and distress for everyone who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, but glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. For God shows no partiality.

Year A Ordinary 33, RCL Proper 28, Catholic Proper 33 Monday

 Bible verses from The New Revised Standard Version, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All right reserved. Selections from Revised Common Lectionary Daily Readings, copyright 1985 by Consultation on Common Texts. Image Credit: Partiality created on Pablo Buffer by Michael Gilbertson. The image is a public domain picture from Unsplash.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Holes in the Story” based on Judges 4 and 5

It should be noted that I'm a wimp.  I blame my parents. (But in a good way.)  As a young child I was limited to an hour of TV a day and it had to be PBS.  I've never quite normalized to our culture in that I have a super low tolerance for media violence or horror.  To be honest, I don't like this story, I think it is too violence, and if I was trying to hold the Bible to a standard of “Church Appropriate” then this passage would not meet it. However, I think dealing with this story is important and necessary, so we're going to do it despite my distaste.  That being said, there are many reasons why you might not want to hear/read the rest of this sermon:

****  Trigger Warning ****

This story contains excessive violence, in detail, and sexual violence.  

****

I will not take it personally if you choose to take a very long bathroom break at this point.

Now, despite its graphic nature, this text isn't particularly easy to follow.  I had to read it half a dozen times and read several commentaries before I could even follow what is happening.  Because this text is from the book of Judges, we can start by knowing a few things.  The ancient Hebrew people have “entered the promised land” (they did that in the prior book, Joshua) and are currently functioning as a loose alliance of tribes without a central government.  They have settled into  hilly, desert land.  Later in their history the land would be in high demand because of its functionality as a crossroads, but in this early history  this land  is a bit outside of society.  It was hard to scratch out a living there, which means outsiders usually didn't bother with it.  

However, sometimes neighboring countries (and we should understand “countries” pretty loosely, maybe as akin to a small city-state) would try to expand into some part of the “Promised Land” and then there would be a need for a leader/general to guide the people in fighting back.  That leader/general would then be called a “judge” and would lead the people until their death. Then things would be OK for a while until a different country tried the same deal on a different boarder.

This is the second set of stories of such a judge in the book of Judges, and there are a few adaptations to the standard story line.  The first is that the “neighboring country” is actually an internal one.  The Israelites had invaded the land of the Canaanites, because the Canaanites were the ones living on their “promised land.”  However, the Canaanites were neither entirely destroyed nor entirely willing to adapt to Israelite customs.  So, the two both occupied the land, with ever shifting borders between them.  

According to the story, at this point in history the Canaanites were a FAR more technologically advanced society than the ancient Hebrew people.  They'd entered the “iron age”, as evidenced by the 900 iron chariots they brought to war.  (It is reasonable to assume exaggeration.)  The ancient Hebrews not only had no iron (they're in the late bronze age), they're said to have no shields nor spears.  The armies are incredibly mismatched.

The second adaptation is that the role of Judge is a bit fuzzy.  The story says that Deborah had been judge – but in that case they mean that people brought their disputes to her and trusted her to judge between them fairly.  Since she appears to have come by that reputation on her own, that's pretty cool.  Deborah is, in case you were wondering, the only woman to be called a Judge of Israel. However, she isn't the military general, so that's unusual for these stories.  And neither she, nor the general, actually complete the act of defeating their opponent.  That  role belongs to another woman, and a foreigner at that.

Now, I have a lot of issues with this story in particular and with the book of Judges in general. Judges assumes that everything that happens is God's will.  So, they think that when outsiders attack them or oppress them it is because God is punishing them.  They try to protect God's reputation, so they claim that when there is no judge in Israel, the people do what is evil in the sight of the Lord, which they assume to justify God's anger and punishment.   It doesn't work for me.  It is easy to see that the Israelites were experiencing fairly normal conflict with neighbors – internal and external to their country.  It is easy to see that the stories are trying to be faithful when they attribute all of it to God.  But they seem to miss that they make God into an egotistical abusive parent when they do so.

And, in case this isn't clear to you, I don't think God is egotistical, nor abusive (although it is fine with me if the parental metaphors work for you).

Those are my GENERAL issues.  Specifically, I pretty much hate that this is a story of war, death, and murder that is claimed as a victory.  Similar to the point I just made, I understand that those who told it and those who wrote it down thought that they were telling a story of a God who freed them from oppression, and I see why that's good.  The problem is that I believe in a God who is the God of the Israelites AND the Canaanites.  And, generally speaking, I don't think there are winners in war, even when there are victors.

So, you ask, why am I preaching on it?  Well, two reasons.  First of all because when I've spent most of a year preaching about the subversive women of the Bible, I didn't think I could reasonably skip out on the first FEMALE to lead the country (and only one said to do so rightfully).  Secondly, because war, violence, and murder are real parts of life.  To refuse a text that includes them because of them means pretending life is cleaner, easier, and more acceptable than it really is.  This story reflects the lives of many people who live today, both in literal and in metaphorical terms.

Now you might ask, WHAT HAPPENS?!?!?  Well, that's complicated.  There are actually two versions of this story.  The version in chapter 5 is much older.  Along with the (much, much shorter) song of Miriam, it is thought to be the oldest text in the Bible.  It may date to the 12th century BCE.1 (For reference, the next youngest parts were 400 years later and the majority of the Torah was written down around 800 years later.)  The two oldest parts are both women's songs, and they reflect very similar stories: natural events defeat an army and the Israelites associate that with God's work and give thanks to God for saving them.  It has been guessed that women passed down their songs from generation to generation, perhaps while the men passed down their stories.  We read from Judges 4 because it is easier to make sense of, but I want to focus on Judges 5, the poetry version passed down as song.

In Judges 5, the people have been oppressed by the Canaanites.  But when God raised up Deborah, the peasants rejoiced because she took care of them.  She is called a mother in Israel.   The song celebrates the courage of those who went to fight the Canaanites without even having any weapons, and it acknowledges Barack as the military leader.  The song emphatically claims that God, as the Divine Warrior, marched with the people.  The third time it mentions this, it puts it this way:

The stars fought from heaven, from their courses they fought against Sisera.  The torrent Kishon swept them away, the onrushing torrent, the torrent Kishon. March on, my soul, with might!  (Judges 5: 20-21, NRSV)

That is to say, with God on their side, even the stars were fighting for the Israelites against the Canaanite general, Sisera.  The battle happened in the Kishon riverbed valley.  But because it is a desert climate, the river bed usually ran dry.  The river flowed with strength enough to stop the army.

Then the song changes, and celebrates Jael.  Jael is said to be the wife of Heber the Kenite.  Moses's father in law was a Kenite, so she would have been seen as a distant but distinct relative.  Jael welcomes the general into her tent with enthusiasm.  It says he asked for water and she gave him milk curds.  Then she kills him.

Then the song turns even more vicious.  It imagines Sisera's mother waiting for him at home, fantasizing about the “spoil” he'll bring home.  In this imagining, she assumes he isn't home yet because they are busy raping the women of Israel.  The Hebrew text says, “a womb or two for every man” and then goes on to imagine the embroidery she is hoping he'll bring her.   Right after this imagining, the song ends with the words, ‘So perish all your enemies, O Lord! But may your friends be like the sun as it rises in its might.’” (Judges 5:31a, NRSV)  Likely there is direct irony between the imagined two wombs and those of Jael and Deborah.

The prose text has a more linear plot that flows like a story, with explanations and details.  It explains why Jael and her husband were there, implying that Heber the Kenite was a smith who decided to travel with the Canaanite army to fix their chariots!2  However, it is almost certain that the prose version was created to help people understand the song, so I don't think we need to spend more time with it.

We do need to spend some more time in that tent with Sisera and Jael though.  There is a rather large hole in both versions of this story: why does she kill him?  Other stories in the Bible have taught us how sacrosanct hospitality was there.  A person welcomed into one's tent was often treated with more dignity and respect than even family members who lived in that tent.  And Jael is said to be enthusiastic in her welcome.

What happened?  Did she make a calculation that if Sisera, the general, were running away without his army that he must have lost and it would be better to have the gratitude of the Israelites?  Perhaps. That would make sense.  But since this is a woman's song, I think it would be reasonable to read into the hidden narrative.  Women were generally in subservient roles throughout the time this song was passed on, so it seems particularly likely that the song would make its points in subtext rather than in text that could be used against them.

And there is a lot of subtext.  I mentioned a moment ago that the song explicitly mentions Sisera's mother imagining him raping women. Futhermore, the details used to describe Sisera's death are surprising.   Commentators have noted that Jael “penetrates” his skull with the tent peg, and that this reads like a rape scene.  The Hebrew actually reads, “he sank, he fell, he lay still … he sank, he fell... he fell dead.”  When he dies he is said in Hebrew to fall “between her feet” or “between her legs” which is “a sexual euphemism found elsewhere in the Bible.”3 The ancient rabbis noticed all of the sexual overtones, it has long been debated.

But what do they mean?  I'm not sure, but I can think of three things. The most obvious one, and I think the one we're meant to be distracted by, is that Sisera was “shamed” by being killed by a woman and further “shamed” in the undertones by having it sound like a woman raping him.  (Please note that I don't believe that these things are shameful, rather that the text thinks they are.) However, two other options seem hidden under this.  One is the possibility of women having their own fantasy of being able to get retribution for being the “spoils of war.”  That even being able to sing a song where a woman is NOT raped by the enemy but instead has power over him kept them going through the hard times.  The final option is less empowering.  I wonder if Sisera actually raped Jael, and she choose to kill him afterward.  If so, the narrative of the rape and the narrative of the murder got folded into one.

This story has made it through 3200 years to get to us today.  It has some themes we can affirm (God liberates!  God can work through shared leadership!) and a whole bunch of others we can't.  This story captures an ancient way of thinking about God.  This conception, of God as Warrior, of God as egotistical-abuser, is in our shared general psyche.  It comes from our ancients, and as such it lives with us today.  It feels important to be able to read it as an ancient text and acknowledge that we no longer live 3200 years ago in the very beginning of the iron age.

We are allowed to have developed from this point of view, and to understand things differently now.  We can affirm that God liberates the oppressed, but we don't have to take the rest of the story with it.  We can let go of a warrior God, and make space for a God who loves ALL people (on any sides of any divide).  We can let go of the egotistical-abuser, and make space for a God of compassion, vision, and guidance.  We can be grateful for the chance to hear the stories of 3200 years ago, and still acknowledge the value of the wisdom we have today.  We aren't stuck in the past, nor in the values of the past, and we don't have to leave God there either.  Our God is not a God of violence.  We can leave that idea to the past and remove it from our collective psyche.  Thanks be!!  Amen

1 Dennis T. Olsen “Judges” in The New Interpreter's Bible Vol. 2 (Nashville: Abingdon, 1998) p. 787.

2 Danna Nolan Fewell, “Judges” in Women's Bible Commenatry edited by Carol A. Newsom and Sharon H. Ringe (Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 1992, 1998) p. 77

3 Olsen, 788.

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

[razorblade180]

Code Black

[Lasting Embers Au] [Warning, it’s dark]

Atlas, three o’clock in the morning. A lone airship soars across the barren tundra to an unmarked Atlas warehouse that had been abandoned for years, until recently that is. Inside, Sienna sat in silence with a deep seeded anxiety that went to her bones deeper than the frigid cold that made its way through the cockpit.

Today was mission 0, final exam day. Every recruit for The Shadows has to take it before actually making it in. They took it one at a time and weren't allowed to speak about it. Not that mattered since each test tailored to the recruit, but none of them were aware of that fact. Everything was so bizarre and mysterious more than usual, even the close. Sienna was in specialized gear for the first time today. A black form fitting bodysuit covered by white military style cargo pants, and turtleneck that would be disposed of once she got out of the snow. Sienna put on her black leather gloves and picked up her very own Shadows mask, which was simply a full face White Fang mask that was painted completely black with specks of grayish white to match her ears. She even had a change of shoes in her duffel bag once the snow boots served their purpose. The bag also housed extra ammunition for her party as well as her chain for the time being. This was a standard op it seems. This was…

xxxx

“A code black, what is that?” Sienna said to Adam in his office, clearly confused by the code. Normal recruits weren’t allowed in the office since only actual members and a few others knew he was alive, but Adam raised her so there wasn’t a real reason for her not to ask directly.

“Yes,” he said. Adam stood up and moved in front of his desk and sat on the edge with his legs stretched out. He found it a little funny how his daughter stood in front of him at attention. “You know it’s just the two of us, relax.”

Sienna shoulders dropped immediately. “Sorry, I was practicing for when we’re in public. It would cause trouble if the others suspected something.”

They already know but I’m glad she’s thinking ahead. “Did they go over the different color codes for recruits by any chance?”

Sienna stood up straight and cleared her throat. “Every mission for The Shadows is given a specific color depending on what kind of operation it is, that way members can have an idea of what’s entail and if they think they are qualified.”

“Did...was that in a handbook or something? Since when do you use words like entail?”

Sienna let out a sigh as she stared at her feet. “Ilia is a very strict instructor.”

Adam immediately felt her pain. Even in the old days, Ilia was always the kind of person to cross her t’s and dot her i’s when it came to just about anything.

“I guess that means you could name a few of those codes.”

“Oh of course!” Sienna perked up immediately. She loved flaunting her knowledge “Red is assassination, white is deep undercover, green is theft, gray tends to be more head to head confrontation, pink is torture…” that last one always creeped her out. “I could name a few more if you like?”

“No you’ve proven your point. I gotta remember to thank Ilia. Teaching was never really my strong suit.” Adam started thinking about how he tried teaching Sienna and Jael to swim. Jacquelyn might’ve actually killed him that day. He still thinks floaties are for the weak. Just dive right in!

Sienna got a little bit more comfortable and decided to sit on his desk next to him. “I’ve memorized almost all the codes and I’m positive I never saw black. Could she have forgotten it?”

Adam turned his body to his daughter. Suddenly everything felt like it had gotten more serious, even the air. “No, Ilia probably didn’t think it mattered since they’re rare. Code black, erasure.”

Sienna’s body went cold. “E-Erasure? As in no evidence, or witnesses?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Adam rubbed his hand through his hair. “When it comes to the codes, all the other ones deal with small groups or even a single person that’s typically a key player or just beginning to cause trouble, so completing those missions usually puts whatever plan they had to a complete stop.”

“Like taking a gear out of a machine. Each mission takes a gear out and it gets too complicated to get new pieces.”

“Hey that’s a pretty good way of thinking about it.” Adam smiled. He’d have to remember that analogy.

“So what makes code black different from the rest?”

“Well following your logic, let’s say the other missions were machines that were being built. Many different things are in the progress of creating it and nothing is finalized, there’s not a true system to mass produce the machine. Black codes are for situations where the machine is already up and running. You can take a part out but it will be replaced eventually. So you break the machine along with the factory, with all the workers inside. As well as the inventors.”

“Oh…” was all Sienna could say to that. She could tell he wasn’t just talking about the grunts. If you want a machine to not be built, then even people who know if the idea has to go. “So, can I get specifics?”

“To put it briefly, a terrorist group's main base has been discovered. They’ve been doing things for a while now and with efficiency to boot. They’re incredibly dangerous and though we’ve dwindled their numbers, there’s still a lot of them. People keep joining their ranks which is the very reason we know all about them now. A recruiter slipped up and we got information. Down to the letter. They’re regrouping in two days.”

“So my final exam is to go to the base and…let it all fade to memory, erase it from history.”

“Mass murder, a slaughter.” Adam said it out right, like ripping off a bandaid. Sienna looked down at her hands and clenched them tightly. He had a pretty good idea what was going through her head. Seconds past before she looked back at him with a will that refused to break.

“What else do I need to know.” The anxiousness in her voice was being pushed back with all her strength. She knew what this job was about. Turning back was not an option. It was never an option.

“Code blacks are only carried out by the absolute best here, all of them. With the exception of me this time because it’s a test. I don’t trust myself to not baby you.”

At least he was honest about it.* Sienna honestly wished he was going but yeah, it would totally be cheating. Well, possibly. What she was being graded on was a mystery to her.

“Wait...” she replayed what he told her. “The absolute best? Do you mean-”

Adam put his hand on her head and rubbed it. “Yep. Just follow their lead and you’ll be fine. Do your best Sienna.”

xxxx

Turbulence hit the airship and the mask slipped out of her hands. Right before it hit the ground, Mercury’s foot hooked the inside of it and he sent it back up into her hands. “Careful, can’t have that breaking on us.”

Emerald sat right next to him and hit him lightly on the head. “If that’s your worry then maybe don’t use your feet?” She said, deadpanned. She might’ve hit him again if Neo didn’t turn around from steering and motioned towards their clearly one edge recruit.

Neo didn’t even have to speak for them to know she wanted them to do something. Mercury gave Emerald a look and shrugged his shoulders.

“Got any ideas?” He whispered.

Emerald shrugged back. “Maybe what Nora does for Tenzen? That calms his nerves.

Mercury thought about it for a minute then nodded. Sienna had completely zoned out, caught up in her mind when the feeling of Mercury’s hand ruffling her hair shocked her out of it.

“What the!? Hey!”

Mercury smiled. “There, now you can worry about your hair instead of anything else.” He watched the girl fix her pixie cut while giving him a pouty look that hid a small smile.

“That was so dumb” Sienna muttered. “Thanks.”

Mercury gave her a thumbs up then sat back down next to his wife. He peeked over at Neo who also gave him a thumbs up. So far so good. Missions could get tense so it was important to stay loose.

The ride continued for another twenty minutes before the ship finally landed. Sienna didn’t say anything but had decided it was best to mimic some of their movements. Checking shoes, stretching, putting on the mask; no way was she going to look like a complete noob. Though she did almost gasp from shock when she all three entirely suited up. There was something really cool about the only differences was the speckled pattern on the masks. She hadn’t seen herself in a mirror so she wondered if she looked just as intense.

Mercury opened up the door,letting in a rush a cold air that snapped Sienna into focusing. One by one they hopped out into the tundra. There was nothing but snow for miles, except for a cliff in the distance. Not extremely far, but far enough for Sienna to ask the dreadful question.

“We’re heading to the cliff by foot, aren’t we?” She really didn’t want to complain but the idea of it was really making her consider failing. Neo laughed at the girl though.

“I don’t need to see your face right now to know what you’re thinking. As entertaining as it would be to say yes, I need you in high spirits. That cliff is our destination, however….” Neo pulled out her scroll and started texting. “We’re on a tight schedule so we’re gonna cut a corner or two.”

A red portal opened up in front of her. Mercury and Emerald walked through immediately while Neo grabbed Sienna’s hand then led her through. Red and black consumed everything before she saw white again. They were on the cliff, just like that!

Sienna turned around to see the portal closing. Before it did, she caught a glimpse of a figure in red and black. It was easy to see that they were a woman by their outfit but Sienna couldn’t think of one person from what little details she saw. The hair did remind her of the blonde woman she met once. Yang was it? She couldn’t remember. Sienna turned back around to see an extra person she did recognize. Ilia was on her stomach at the edge of the cliff and looking through the scope of a sniper rifle. She was geared up like everyone else and seemed to have been here for quite awhile. Her hair had changed white but Sienna could see plenty of snow in it. Sienna walked over to her and went into a prone position as well.

Down below was the abandoned base. It looked like a base and more of a Frankenstein’s monster. The structure had looked part warehouse and part oil rig with how many pipes and beams there were, not to mention the size. The building was pretty huge from this far away but that made sense. There’s supposed to be a lot of these terrorists here. If it wasn’t for the wind then she could probably hear most of them. A good thing to keep in mind for later.

“See anything?” Sienna asked.

Ilia perked her head up and looked at the girl confused? “Wait, this is your test?”

Now Sienna’s face matched Ilia’s. “Dad didn’t tell you?”

“No, he just said this mission was extra special. Now I see why. Did the flight here agree with you?”

“Yes ma’am, I’m ready” her voice held a certain apathy to it that Ilia noticed right away. She gave Sienna some binoculars and turned her head towards some large busted pipes.

“See that? That is an old pipeline that was used for transporting dust. This base should still have plenty inside and even residue all up through it.”

“So… we’re blowing this place up?”

Ilia nodded. “That’s half right. They’re big enough for someone to go through without much of a problem. No doubt they lead somewhere inside.” Ilia takes the binoculars back. “That’s where you’re going.”

“I see…” Sienna bit her lip. If I understand this right, I’m taking out people from inside, I assume Neo disguises herself and goes through the front door, you’re picking off anyone who tries escaping if things get loud…” she turned to look at Em and Mercury. “I guess one of you goes for the higher up places?”

Emerald almost wanted to clap. “ Not half bad with these guesses, any rhyme to your reason?”

“It’s not like I don’t know what you all are particularly good at. That being said, Mercury, what are you doing?”

“Hmm what do you think I should do?” He cracked his knuckles. “If you were running this op, what would be your orders?”

Gears in her head were turning. There was a high chance that this was the test portion and the others would compensate accordingly. They were pros so no doubt they could actually fill any role. She however could not. Sienna knew she was bound to make a mistake. A slip up that might make things more challenging in the long run. Sienna needed a safety net.

“You’re with Mercury. If I’m going right into the lion's den then I might need help when things eventually get loud.”

“Roger that. Consider me your extra muscle.”

Glad to know my lessons got through to her. Ilia thought to herself. She looked back at everyone, they were all ready.

“What are y’all standing around here for? You heard the lady. Remember to keep calm and take off the snow camouflage when you’re inside. There could be hundreds in there and I’d like to do this quietly for as long as possible. It’ll make my life easier. Sienna, would you like to do the honors?”

Sienna nodded, “Let the operation begin.”

xxxx

“This operation stinks.” Sienna said while holding her breath in. These old pipes were disgusting! Her and Mercury must’ve been traveling down them for at least ten minutes. Both were now in black and besides from Mercury’s hair, it was pretty damn hard to spot him. Sienna was confident in her decision.

“Yeah stealth tends to have the smellier routes. They typically put us in sweet spots though.” Finally they reach an exit point in the form of a vent opening on the ground. Sienna looked down and spotted crates of old dust. The lights were dim and she could faintly here one, no, two people.

“Two people, far end of the room. They sound like two guys,older guys.” She whispered.

“One for you and one for me then. You ready?”

Sienna ignored the smell and took a deep breath to calm the last bit of her nerves and removed the vent. Mercury saw her ears fold down.

“Word of advice, it helps if you make it brief. For you and-”

“I’ve killed before Mercury.” She briefly takes off her mask to let him see her blank expression. Her eyes almost looked devoid of anything. Almost like a broken doll. Sienna put her mask back on. “Let’s get started.”

Sienna hopped down and immediately rolled behind the crates. Mercury followed suit. They poked their heads over them to see two people with rifles simply chatting. It would appear Sienna and Mercury had entered through the basement and the guards were meant to keep people from getting inside this room. Too bad for them. Sienna pulled out and looked at Mercury. He gave her nod and held up fingers, then two, and finally one. He dropped the last finger and they immediately vaulted over the crates, kicking off the edge of it to propel themselves right out the guards. The one on the left didn’t even register the blade gliding across his throat while the one on the right found himself trying to breathe desperately as his neck was in a deadly choke hold. In seconds they were both gone, two down. Sienna looked down at the body for a second before picking it carefully and placing it behind the crate. Mercury grabbed his duffel bag and pulled out a timed bomb that would blow in forty minutes.

“Shouldn’t take us this long to wrap this all up but it gives us wiggle room.”

“I can hear twenty more right above us, then another thirty above them. Anything above that is too muffled to tell.”

“Interesting, grab your chain. We’re gonna get creative.”

xxxx

Ilia watched the outside carefully. She can see Emerald taking down terrorists on the roof and Neo was visible a few minutes ago through a window. She was wearing her favorite disguise. The one with green eyes and black hair. “ She should really switch things up sometimes.” Illia thought aloud. Ilia kept watching. Twenty minutes had passed.

I wonder if Sienna is holding up? Mercury won’t baby her but I hope he shows some kind of compassion. That girl, she’s…

Ilia couldn’t help but think of Sienna’s eyes when they first met. The coldness, the complete lack of light they had. Sienna was in many ways still that girl. No matter how much love Adam and Jacquelyn has given her. That’s why Adam must’ve chosen this code for her. He knew Sienna had to traverse her demons, not block them off. Even if he hated the idea of it.

“Anyone got any info for me?” Ilia said, pressing a button on her earpiece.

“Top floor has forty, the main floor has about sixty.” Emerald responded. “What about you Neo?”

“I’m on the main floor. From what I can see there’s no one here huntsman grade. I doubt these people have aura honestly which makes sense. They keep trying to replenish troops because of us so guns are all they really got. Anyone know what the leader looks like?”

“All I know is that they’re a woman.” Emerald scanned the area. “Which means nothing without any features. Mercury, you and Sienna make it inside?”

There was no response. “Mercury?” Emerald said again but still didn’t get an answer. “Could they be held up?”

“Well we at least know they haven’t been made. Everyone would’ve been alerted if they had.” Neo looked along the worn down walls and followed the trail of pipes with her eyes. “ Want me to go look for them?”

Ilia bit her lip and looked at her scroll. Their aura was still full. “Don’t poke around too much. They should be-”

“Basement is full of live ammo, the floor above has seventeen, and the one above has thirty. The woman in charge has red eyes? White hair, and in a yellow suit.” Mercury said, abruptly. Ilia started looking through the windows of each floor she could until a woman with that description briefly passed by the top floor.

“Second floor, right side of the wall.”

Neo looked up and spotted the middle aged woman. What really caught her eye was the five people in black tuxes that made to stay several feet away, but close enough to keep an eye on things. Three of the five were also women who looked almost as stone cold as Cinder was. The two looked like loads of fun as well.

“She has five bodyguards, and I’ll bet my favorite hat they are huntsman level, or military trained at the very least. If this woman called this whole group here then she’ll probably make a speech. Could be a good opportunity to take her down.”

“That aside, Mercury, why did it take you so long to answer? Ilia asked.

xxxx

Mercury took a moment before responding. He stared at his that were thankfully covered by his gloves to avoid blood stains and evidence. He then looked at two more dead bodies that had piled with the first two. “I was trying to get some answers.” He finally answered.

“And where’s Sienna?”

“Sienna….Sienna is the one who got the info.” He said, with a bit of shock. No one said anything after that for several seconds, until Ilia spoke again.

“Do I even wanna know?” A bit of concern was in her voice.

Mercury looked towards the middle of the room to see their third victim on top of one of the crates, his toes barely scraping the top of it. The only thing stopping the man from screaming is the chain around their neck that was thrown over a support beam and being held tightly by Sienna.

“No, just know it’s handled. Say I was thinking we might need to speed things along, and I’m not just saying that because the time on the bomb has about half the time on it. Probably should’ve made it remote detonate.” He said, looking at the bomb options.

Sienna finally let the body drop now that it had expired. She made no attempt to hide her displeasure in doing torture, her hand clenching her stomach out of obvious disgust. It was one of the few things that truly ate away at her. “The only reason Mercury and I haven’t sent off anyone is because they know better than to shoot in a highly explosive room.”

Mercury walked over to her and rubbed her back. Suddenly she felt a lot less nauseous. He couldn’t see her gentle smile, the wiggle of her ears said thank you on their own. “Sooner or later they’re gonna realize five people are missing, and get suspicious.”

“The point of a code black mission is erasure right? You also said it’ll eventually get loud. May I suggest something?” Sienna asked.

“It’s your test squirt.” Neo replied.

“Let’s just blow everything up now. The explosion will at least get the floor below us, but this place doesn’t look too stable. Won’t the cold kill any stragglers trying to escape? Picking them off wouldn’t be too hard and if Neo or Em can kill the boss in the middle of the chaos then we’re on the up and up. I know it’s risky, not to mention completely chaotic…”

Sienna looked out the basement entrance and could see dozens of feet and shadows constantly moving. “But there’s just so many of them. They need to panic.”

Ilia looked around the building and saw several airships. Maybe, just maybe… “Emerald, can you be a dear and make sure no one can fly away?”

“We’re actually just blowing this place up?”

“Yes we are. It’s fucking cold out here and I’d like to get this done before sunrise. Sienna…”

“Ma’am?”

“The hard part starts now. Stay focused, and safe.” Her tone carried a sense of maternal love that made Sienna’s chest warm. Ilia caring about her was something she always knew but it was nice to actually hear it in a way that wasn’t a lecture or intense drills. It was weird when Sienna thought about it. Ilia must’ve known how on edge this was making her. They all seemed to.

Mercury pulled out his combat knife and handed it to Sienna. “Here, you’ll use it more than me.” Sienna twirled his and her knife in each hand. The weight felt good, unnervingly good.

“I know this isn’t the same, but all of us here have done some pretty dreadful things at extremely young ages. So if this is too much or you need to vent, we’re all ears. Except Neo. She’s really chatty.

Sienna couldn’t help but chuckle at that comment. “Thanks” Her attention turned towards the door filled with looming threats just outside of it. “I might take you up on that offer.”

xxxx

Life, a precious thing bestowed to all but never in equal shares. That’s how Mercury saw it anyways. To him, the world was always a place where your life depended on robbing that precious thing from others in some shape or form. He still believed that to a certain degree. Even while his own was fading.

The bomb had gone off several minutes ago. Thick smoke and immense heat from the rapidly spreading flames surrounded each crumbling floor as bullets flew in every direction, the screams of panic constantly attacking his eardrums. He felt a little bad for how much he couldn’t care less. Especially since he’s been on the wrong side of the law most of his life. He was more jaded than he thought. Emerald would say otherwise but she was just being nice. He’d miss that about her.

Mercury leaned against a broken wall clenching his left side. A lucky aimed grande had gone off inches away from him and took almost all of the shrapnel. Even with aura, his ribs didn’t enjoy that one bit. The pain was almost too much to bear. Between that and the heat, Mercury’s vision was starting to blur. Halfway across the room he could still make out a figure, that obviously wasn’t friendly, point a gun at him with deadly accuracy. All he could do was cough and try to stand, but his legs gave out on him. For once he missed the prosthetics.

“Well Em, looks like you don’t have to deal with my terrible sense of humor anymore.” He wheezed. Mercury held his arms in front of his body, hoping he had enough aura left to take a few more bullets. He never got the chance to know as the marksman gun got snatched from his hands by a chain and was quickly used against him, ending his life. It all happened too fast, or maybe it was because of his mission, but Mercury didn’t know what just happened.

“S- Tigress?” He said, barely catching himself from using her name in the middle of a fight. He couldn’t see her. All he saw, were the sway of flames. They flickered almost like a dying candle each time before he heard a scream or saw gunshots stop in a direction. A shadow on the walls contoured and flowed like a wave that engulfed other shadows like a predator on the hunt.

It was only when that shadow lunged out of the flames did he see what it was. Sienna crouched several feet in front of him on a body, someone in a suit that was breathing their last breath as Sienna pulled knives out of their chest. She didn’t appear to notice him, not at first. Her head was too busy swiveling to locate her next target. Mercury felt his soul leave his body the moment their eyes locked. The absolute hunger and lack of anything but fiery bloodlust made her look like a demon than anything else. Not even wild animals or grimm showed this kind of evil, this overwhelming desire to kill. Her blood soaked clothes and mask didn’t help either. This was Sienna? This was the same twenty year old girl he comforted earlier? One thing was for sure, nothing was robbing Sienna of her life.

She approached him slowly. The way she stayed low and never blinked made Mercury almost wish she stayed away. Sienna didn’t though. She got closer and closer until he was in arms reach. Mercury closed his eyes tightly in fear. He could feel her hand press against his mask gently, then adjusted it slightly.

“Icarus?” He heard her call out his code name. He opened his eyes slowly to see the soulless eyes replaced with the warm and sincere eyes he had gotten used to. “Are you okay?” She spoke again.

“I-I uh, can barely stand.” The lump in his throat was serious. It had been awhile since he felt this level of fear. That’s all he could think to call it. Sienna had managed to terrify him. A feat only achieved by a select few. Salem, his father, Neo, and his first encounter with Jacquelyn, to name a few.

Sienna lifted his arm and used herself as a crunch to support him. “Lady Em would be really upset if my plan killed you. Can’t have that now can we? Let’s get you somewhere a little bit cooler.”

“You should be...more concerned about completing the mission. Complete erasure remember?”

“I remember. I also remember you saying I could chat with you later if I wanted. I’m a ‘have your cake and eat it too’, kind of gal.” Sienna took no further protest from him and began walking. One of the good parts about a blown up building was the many holes leading outside. It took no time at all to find a sizable one to get through. Sienna placed by some debris out of reach of the flames but not too far to get cold. She looked to the right of her to find an abandoned rifle and gave it to him.

“Play dead or fight whoever you can. I’ll let our resident sniper know where you are to watch your back. This won’t take much longer by the sound of it.”

Mercury said nothing. He simply watched her walk back into flames, the faint sense of her intent to kill returning to her before she was out of sight.

Sienna could feel her body go numb again. It was only moments later when another person jumped out ready to fight and quickly regretted the idea as they saw a knife fly into the air, and get stuck in their windpipe. All of this felt so familiar to her.Blood, fire, tears, screams; what ruled her nightmares was back again happening in reality. How many have died by her hand now? At least forty five by now. In a single day, the blood on her hands had gone up forty three, yet that first two still clawed its way to the front of her mind. She could never forget that day. It wouldn’t allow her to forget that day. The day she died twice by her own hands. Sienna continued walking through the flames, looking for the next target.

xxxx

The ride back home was quiet. Ilia had decided to be the one flying since she didn’t have to fight up close while Mercury was fast asleep in his seat. Emerald clung to his arm, sleeping as well. The woman was almost moved to tears when she saw how battered he had gotten. Mercury tried to play it cool but Sienna got the feeling he was so relieved to be in Emerald’s embrace again. Sienna could see the love between them as clear as a shining star. She was happy that they were together again. Sienna hoped she too would find a love like that. A love that took the pain away. Not that her family didn’t do that, but she hoped that she'd find it from a stranger as well. Adam did it, so it was possible. Neo was awake for the whole ride but said very little. Ilia told Sienna that Neo tended to fall back into being mute after missions like these. As if they brought back the old her from days long past. Maybe that’s why she was so good at what she did. Even the shining pink in her eyes held a different presence to them. Somehow Sienna understood it perfectly.

Sienna wasn’t in a chatty mood anyways. She calmly waited for the airship to reach its destination when she realized it was landing in Menagerie, but not in town. It had landed by her house.

“It would be pretty awful for you to have to walk home or not sleep in your own bed after tonight.” Ilia commented.

“You could’ve dropped me off at my bunk.”

“What bunk? Those are for recruits, not full fledged members. I’d say congratulations but that sounds a little inappropriate so..” Ilia held out her hand. “Welcome to The Shadows.”

Sienna didn’t know what to say. She went to shake Ilia’s hand but realized she had never taken off the gloves that were now covered in dried blood. Almost all of her was like that. Sienna hadn’t even realized her mask was still on. She took it off and finally breathed her first breath of fresh air in hours. She removed the gloves as well and shook Ilia’s hand.

“Thanks” was all she could muster to say. Sienna turned around to hop off but not before exchanging looks with Neo. They raised their adrenaline filled fists and bumped them before Sienna finally left.

“What do you think she’ll do now?” Ilia asked

“I don’t have to think, I know exactly what comes next.” Neo responded before standing up and walking to the restroom inside the ship.

Sienna took the several foot walk home before staring at the front door to see both her family standing before her. Sienna suddenly started to feel hot. Her stomach churned and her throat tightened before tears welled up frantically. The adrenaline in her body left and Sienna dropped to her knees, vomiting hard into the sand. Adam quickly ran to her side while Jacquelyn stood by her second daughter.

“Jael go get your sister some water.”

“Yes ma’am.” Jael ran inside, taking the hint.

Jacquelyn walked over to Adam who was rubbing Sienna’s back as she wept. Jacquelyn followed suit by hugging the girl tight, silently shushing her and rubbing her fingers through her hair.

“Why?” Sienna gasped, “Why did it feel so good? My head went back to that day and everything just felt so wrong yet so...so natural! I felt… comfortable even. Like I finally got to take all that anger and give it back tenfold! How do you deal with that feeling!? How do you live with it!?”

Sienna balled her eyes out into her mother’s chest. If her voice wasn’t so horse then she’d probably scream her lungs out. Everything she did should’ve felt disgusting and it did to a certain degree, but not the way it should’ve. Sienna knew she’d do it again in a heartbeat. The feeling of Adam’s arms wrapping around here back controlled her breathing a little. The embrace of both of her parents somehow only brought more tears. It’s like she had forgotten what it’s life to feel safe until now. Adam let go briefly and turned her head in his direction. Her distressed face was enough to break his heart a thousand times over.

“I can’t say I have an answer for you, but know I’ll be here as long as it takes until we find the answer.”

“We both will.” Jacquelyn chimed in.

Sienna pulled them back into her arms as physically possible and simply wept. She opened her eyes briefly to see Jael watch from the door and Sienna extended her arm for the girl to come rushing in, giving her big sister all the love she could give. At last...

Daybreak came.

[razorblade180]

The F Word

{Lasting Embers AU}

[Cult Base, currently on fire]

Yang:Adam can I ask you something?

Adam:*disarming a bomb* Ummm can it wait?

Yang:I missed a lot with Yujin so I was wondering if you could just rapid fire anything about her or your overall experience with her?

Adam:Uhhh, not much to say really.

Yang:You’ve trained her for years and there’s not much to say!?

Cult members:* run in* Freeze!!!!!

Adam:Can you-

He turns around to see Yang grab a member and throw him into another one. She proceeds to backflip into a heel drop, sending another member right into the floor.

Adam:Damn, I don’t miss being that guy.

Yang:*still fighting* Come on dude, give me something!

Adam:Yujin is like you. Stubborn, skilled, hotheaded; at thirteen she freaking out over zits. Teenage stuff.

Yang:Did she ever mention me?

Adam:Through the years it got less frequent, but yeah. All she wanted was to know more about you.

Yang:What’d you tell her.

Adam:The truth; you’re the cream of the crop in terms of fighting.

Yang:I’m flattered. *drop kicks a man*

Adam:*disarms bomb* Got it! Can you do me a favor?

Yang:What?

He clicks a button and throws it at her. A timer for ten seconds appears and panic immediately sets in. With a kick she launches the bomb down the hallway where it explodes near more members.

Adam:See? Anyone else would’ve messed up and got blown away.

Yang:Sometimes I feel like you’re still out to get me.

Adam:Sometimes I feel like I’m still the guy drowning in a river. I guess that’s life.

Yang:......

Yang:Hey, I’ll never be sorry for that, but I am thankful for the things you did for my family. It honestly means a lot; especially learning that you were managing your own.

Adam:That credit goes to Jacquelyn. I just try to be there when I can. *peeks into hallway*

*troops running at them*

Adam:I knew I should’ve set it for fifteen. *grabs sword* Yang, Raging Bull.

Yang:I still don’t like that name.

She grabs Adam by the left arm and gives him a good spin. At the end she launches him forward which sends him flying towards the enemies. Before they can even do anything they’re mowed down by his sword and the flares from ember celica. He lands into a tuck and roll that has him sliding into the next room where a Paladin awaits with a cultist.

Adam:Seriously?

Yang:Hey you took out like- woah, that’s a big boy!!!!

Paladin:*fires rockets*

Yang:*blasting her own* So how are your kids?

Adam:I don’t remember you being this chatty.

Yang:On missions like this you tend to learn how to pass the time. On your left.

Adam:*shoots a guy* My kids are fine. Sienna decided to follow and my footsteps and join the shadows.

Yang:Good for her, cover me please? *reloading*

Adam:Yep.

Paladin:*shooting bullets*

Adam:*deflecting them all* Honestly I wish she did something less dangerous. Her life’s been rough and frankly I think it robbed her of any real childhood experience. I couldn’t persuade her to change occupations.

Yang:That sounds relatable. Could’ve grounded her.

Adam:I tried that. *moonslices guns off* She threatened to be an escort.....

Yang:*snorts* I did a similar thing when my dad didn’t want me to be a huntress. Good to know that tactic is timeless.

Cultist:Are you even taking this seriously!!?

Adam and Yang:Not really, no.

Yang:Honestly the bomb gave me more anxiety.

Adam:I know right? I think they’re getting desperate.

Paladin:*charges at them*

Yang:I think you’re right.

Adam locks his fingers together and boost Yang into the air towards the machine. Metal fists collide to create an immense shock wave that pushes it back into a wall and Yang doing the same. Luckily Adam catches her before the impact and puts her down.

Yang:I swear those things get harder to break.

Adam:Maybe you’re getting old.

Yang:You’re older than me! Also we’re not even that old!

Adam:Stop crying, I was joking around. Afraid your hair might turn gray or something?

Yang:Don’t wish that on me. Oh, tell me about your other daughter! The one Yujin’s age!

Adam:Hmmmmm, they have the same birthday.

Yang:Really!?

Cultist:Stop ignoring me! *charging laser*

Adam:Yeah she was premature; also some medical issues.

Yang:Heart problem right? That has to rough.

Adam:Man sometimes she scares me with how much she acts like me. Jael is really good kid and unfortunately she’s too feisty for her own health; reckless too. I hope she’s taking her meds right.

Yang:*smiling*.........

Adam:What?

Yang:You sound like my dad. It’s weird but refreshing all at once. Both of them mean the world to you huh?

Adam:Of course, *smirks* they’re my girls.

Yang:*stetching* I guess that means we should pick up the pace so we can go home then?

Adam:Took the words right out of my mouth.

Yang:Nevermore.....

A massive blue beam is fired right at the two that engulfs the entire room; bringing laughter to the cultist. He watches is handy work proudly until the blue light slowly gets smaller and is soon replaced by the red of Adam’s sword. What’s worse is Yang is entirely missing.

Cultist:Wh...what?

Adam:Nothing personal but I have other things to do.

A boom from the back of the robot catches the cultist of gaurd. The camera inside shows Yang smiling hard as ever as the punch knocks him off balance. Soon after, the entire right torso of the boy is cut clean through the Paladin and the wave of power makes it way towards a guarding Yang. Her whole body erupts in flames as her fist reels back and slams into the left torso; shattering it. A single flare makes its way through and back to Adam’s sword as he watches the man free fall.

Cultist:I should’ve used more bombs.

Adam:You really should’ve. *raises sword*

Yang:Wait......*turns around*

Adam:What are you doing?

Yang:I still don’t like seeing people die like that. *covers ears*

Adam:......

Patiently she waits for the familiar sound of the moon slice and the uncomfortable wet sound of it hitting its target, but it never came. Instead a loud bang echoes through the room that instantly makes her jump and turn around. Before her laid the cultist member on the ground and smoke coming from Adam’s gun.

Yang:You....shot him?

Adam:Yeah, I......didn’t feel like wasting anymore aura. *sheathes blade*

Yang:.....Thanks.

Adam:Don’t thank me for that; it feels wrong. I’m just atoning is all.

Yang:*holds out robo hand*.......

Adam:*shakes it*........we should regroup with the others. *walks away*

Yang:.......(I can’t believe I’m gonna say this) Hey ummmm, Adam?

Adam:What?

Yang:*walks passed him* I think atonement between us ended awhile go. Far as I’m concerned........we’re friends now. So.... I got your back alright.

Adam:......Hmph, now I know I must be old. I think my mind is playing tricks on me. *rubbing his head* Thank you; looks like Yujin gets her heart from you as well.

Yang:If you tell anyone I’ll deny it.

Adam:Same here; I just might lose all credibility if this gets out.

Yang:Pfft, I’d make you cool and you know it.

Adam:I guess Yujin gets her cockiness from you too. Let’s go.

Yang:Yeah!

The two of them run off side by side; ready to take on whatever happens next.

[razorblade180]

Lasting Embers pt23: Difficult Decisions

[Menagerie, Oasis]

It’s still early out; every still lays in bed asleep. All except for Jael who’s just floating in her room thinking about the future; her future. The entrance exam to be accepted into beacon is only a month away. Her dream of freedom and her father’s blessing is only a month away. One more month until she meets her...

Jael:(A mere thirty more days and then my real test begins. I thought I’d feel more anxious but I don’t. Maybe I’m finally comfortable with my progress; hope I didn’t over train for this. Wouldn’t be fun if the other applicants weren’t up to par. Oh well, as long as the one I care about does. She’s hogged my father long enough so she better.)

She scrunches her face before taking a breath to relax. Floating is supposed to relieve the pressure constantly on her heart and clear her head. Getting riled up serves no purpose; a Taurus knows that lesson well.

Jael:(Now now Jael, no need to tense up. Keep an open mind like father said; I don’t know her. I know of her, that’s not the same. I’ll get the chance to evaluate her soon enough. Maybe dad can tell me more about her when he gets back ho-)

*whimpers*

Jael:Huh? *floating to her feet* was that, crying? The only ones here is mom and....*gasp*

Without further delay she rushes out her and to her sister’s old room. She had forgotten that she’s home for awhile just like Adam. Sure enough, Sienna layed in her bed tossing and turning as tear marks stained her face. No doubt from her nightmare.

Jael:Sienna, get up *shaking her* come on You’re having another nightmare. Wake up and it goes away like always.

Sienna:Please....*sniffling* don’t take him please...! I....I need him! I need-

Jael:Sienna!

The tiger faunus jumped awake with her class fully out and dangerously close to Jael’s neck. Good thing this isn’t her first rodeo; her older sister’s arm was already grabbed the wrist and was weighing it down. Cat like reflexes or not, gravity had a part to play in everything. Even the frown her big sis currently had.

Sienna:I’m....*huff*I’m sorry.....

Jael:It’s alright *holding her hand* I’m used to it. Didn’t know you still got nightmares; the mines?

Sienna:*nods* Every so often I see myself as that scared little six year old kid again. Lately it’s a bad omen when I get this nightmare. Hopefully pops is okay. With Ilia gone I can’t go on missions. Just because I’m new doesn’t mean I should be kept out of the loop.

Jael:I’m sure everything is okay. He’s just supposed to be escorting Blake to see her friends. Then they’ll be back home in no time and we can finally spend some quality time with dad that’s not about work.

Sienna:Heh, haven’t had that in awhile.

Jael:Well there’s gonna be plenty of it this month; my days are numbered her. So I guess we better start right now. *smirking*

Sienna:I know that look. Jael you better not-ahh!

Suddenly the of them are suspended in the air. Jael pulls her sister into a hug and curls up underneath her; closing her eyes.

Jael:Try sleeping like this; does wonders for me. *yawn* by the time we wake up....dad will be home....before you......Zzzzzzz...

Sienna:...*smiles and holds her close* Fine, you when this one you little trouble maker. I’ll follow your lead. *dozing off* this is pretty.....pretty.... zzzzzz

Jacquelyn stamds in the door way as she quietly leaves with a smile.

[Tai’s house]

The living room is devoid of sound except for ticking of a clock. All of our well known huntsman remain motionless as they stare at Yang. Her eyes fixated on the door her daughter hastily went out of. Seconds felt like hours until she finally snapped out of her trance and grabbed the doorknob.

Ruby:Yang....

Yang:I have to go after her...

Ruby:Yang we have to figure out who’s going to-

Yang:That can wait! I’m going to find Yujin and-

Jaune:*holding her close* Yang, she needs time to process all of this. There’s nothing you can say or do now that can reach her.

Yang let’s go of the door knob slowly. She returns to the couch in defeat; gripping her knees.

Yang:Neo, are you sure that map is accurate. Isn’t there any chance he strung you along or-

Neo:Torture is complex thing to do. People who beg for mercy and ready to talk after a few minutes usually tell the truth; they can’t take pain. Jericho lasted hours. People like that might say anything when they’ve had enough.

Weiss:So, all this might be a complete hoax.

Neo:Unfortunately no. Anytime it takes that long I become extremely thorough. I still keep going with the torture after the answers he gave until any lies were wiped away. *places another map with one hundred X’s* these were the locations he gave me at first. As you can see, they don’t match up with the first one I showed you.

Weiss:He already tried lying to you....

Neo:More than once; dozens of other fake maps are in the ship. This, this is the real deal. 87 bases and I’ve already had a few confirmed to be legit. Sorry everyone, wish I could bring better news. I’m...I’m going to get some air. *steps outside*

Ruby:Is she alright?

Adam:Neo is excellent at what she does but that doesn’t mean she likes it. Torture like that will churn anybody’s stomach. She’ll be fine.

Blake:Back to the topic at hand then; who’s leaving?

The uncomfortable silence once again fills the room but only for a few minutes before everyone gathers there thoughts and steals their convictions. Running into a war has no one scared; the challenge is stopping people from going...

Ruby:I’m still heading out and that’s final. I’m not going to sit at here when I’m part of the reason we’re in this situation.

Weiss:I’m going too. Atlas doesn’t really need me for anything and no way I’m letting my partner do this solo.

Ruby:*smiles* That’s two people; anyone else.

Jaune:I-

Ruby:Don’t even.....

Yang:Yujin will be just as angry. Besides, you haven’t done intense missions in awhile. Like it or not, you’re a bit rusty.

Jaune:You act like I don’t know how to adapt. This mission needs a strategist.

Adam:Which is why I’ll go...

.........

Blake:Absolutely not!

Adam:Strategy, peak fighting condition, I’ve been all over Remnant’s most secretive places; frankly I should’ve been helping the first time around.

Blake:Do you realize what you’re suggesting? If somehow authorities tie you to this then it’s over for you.

Adam:I’ve been traveling regularly for over ten years. This will be no different from the jobs I already do Blake.

Blake:But-

Adam:You can’t go because your people just got you back. Sun can’t go because it’ll look suspicious. I’m perfect for this job.

Blake:And if you die on it? You promised to spend time with Jael remember?

Adam:.....

Yang:Uhhh “Jail?”

Adam:She’s my other daughter I mentioned. Same age as Yujin....

Yang:*eyes widened*....

Blake:You know this might crush her right? Scarcely coming home was hard enough for her as it is.

Adam:Sigh...*leans against the wall* I know this but......this is something I have to do. The cult came to my home once; that’s one too many.

Blake:.....You’re not gonna change your mind are you?

Adam:Sorry, minds made up. I just hope Jael can handle the news. Actually, I hope all of them can; I’m in for a ear full.....

Yang:.....

Raven:Well if he’s going then so am I. I’ve been itching to face these people.

Tai:What!?

Ruby:I think you’re forgetting that maidens are also something they want Aunt Raven. Dead, controlled, or otherwise.

Raven:*shrugs* Sounds like the same old song and dance to me. Adam isn’t the only one who wishes to have gone the first time.

Yang:Don’t be like that mom. Making sure things were fine here was important too.

Raven:You put life as you know it on hold for Yujin. I should’ve done the same for you. Besides, I bet Qrow would’ve done the same if... if our roles were reversed.

Tai:*holds her hand* So....trying to go off again. *smirks*

Raven:Yeah uhhhh.....I’ll be honest. Don’t know how to take the sting out this. It won’t be like before I promise! Ruby will hold me to that and- ow!

Tai:*flicking her forehead* Be safe Raven. Kick enough ass for the both of us. For Qrow too.

Raven:They won’t know what hit em. A bit a magic and a map might just be what we need to turn a ten year manhunt into something way more tolerable. I’m guessing two years maybe?

Nora:We’ll make it one. I...I want to go too.

Ren:......

Nora:You don’t have anything you want to say to that?

Ren:Sigh.... I’ve been attacked, you’ve been attacked twice, and our son is on that list despite our best efforts. Trying to remain under the radar clearly hasn’t been working. If this is what you want to do then go for it. I’d offer too but I’m still no good in a fight like this. Looks like my treatment has to be put on hold. Tenzen and I can-

Tenzen:You’re going to get that surgery

No one heard him walking upstairs or even going down them but there he was sitting on the first few steps. The look on his face showed a calm but clearly exhausted demeanor thanks to his body still healing his injuries. His presence welcomed by everyone with relief of him finally being awake.

Tenzen:Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. Yujin was supposed to make me some food but when I heard the door slam I walked down and- *hugged tightly*

Nora:Thank the stars you’re alright!

Ren:You has me so worried!

Tenzen:Ribs...ugh my ribs!!!!

Ren and Nora:*let go* Sorry....

Tenzen:*rubbing his side* I guess the pain means I’m alive at least. Thanks Mr.Arc, wouldn’t be up on my feet as fast without you.

Jaune:There would be less people in this room without you.

Emerald:We should be the one thanking you.

Mercury:Seriously, we owe you one.

Tenzen:*smiles* If that’s the case, can you guys escort my dad while on his trip? Then when he’s done, watch his back on the battlefield?

Mercury:Huh?

Tenzen:*looks at his parents* I think both of you guys should go after the cult.

With ten simple words he got the undivided attention of everyone. His mind and surprising opinion created the same atmosphere he gets from his fans. Right now, he owns the floor.

Jaune:I take it you have some sort of plan in your head?

Tenzen:Not really a plan but just facts I guess. Beacon has an entrance exam in a month and I doubt another attack would come so soon. If I- when I pass the exam I get to live at the most guarded school Remnant has to offer; I’ll be safe. Dad getting healed and meeting up with the rest of you afterwards could make a difference. Eight people is better than five.

Weiss:He has a point...

Ren:Maybe so, but a month alone?

Nora:Anything could happen in that time.

Tenzen:It’ll be fine. I’ll stay at home and I know how how everything works. I’m sixteen, not twelve. Frankly my biggest problem will be boredom hehe.

Ren:What if-

Tenzen:I want this fight over with already....that dude hurt you both and seem to enjoy it. *clenches his fist* the cult needs to know....they need to know they messed with with the wrong family. *looks around the room* they messed with the wrong families.

Ren:Nora I don’t think he’s going to back down from this.

Nora:......A video per day.

Tenzen:What?

Nora:I want you to upload one video per day and without fail until you make into Beacon. If I don’t see one while I’m away then I’m going to assume something is wrong and be a complete mess you understand? *sniff*

Tenzen:....Yes ma’am. *hugs her* can’t disappoint my biggest fan can I.

Emerald:Guess it’s settled then.

Tenzen:Sorry I just sort of drafted you guys into going hehe.

Mercury:I was gonna volunteer anyways. Payback sounds really satisfying instead of twiddling my thumbs.

Yang:Guess I’m the only one left to decide huh?

As fast as the mood was lightened, it was gone again with that question. No one would ask her to join given the circumstances but she also knew just how much she could make a difference. The unwavering strength behind many of team RWBY’s successes ever since they were formed. Paired with her sister’s indomitable will and Weiss’s brilliance in synchronized moves, surely they could all compensate for Blake’s unfortunate absence. Especially with Adam most likely taking her place as her partner; it would be the obvious choice. Six well versed fighters working together until three more show up to keep the momentum going. Sure they could probably achieve the same results with without her, but what if they couldn’t? Who looks out for the fifth person? All of these thoughts fill her head has she tries to keep it together; taking slow breaths to prevent what would be a serious panic attack.

Yang:I.....I.....

Adam:Let’s give this a week.

Blake:Huh?

Adam:We should all return to homes and prepare and say our goodbyes. Then meet up again in a week. Those who show up will go on with the mission. If anyone decided to change their minds within the week then so be it; can’t fault anybody who does. Sounds fair right?

Yang:*staring down at the floor*Sounds fair...

Ruby:We’ll meet at the train station that leads right out of Vale and into the rest of Anima. That way no one has to travel back here. I love how our house is out of the way but it would also be the prime spot to get attacked if somehow the cult catches wind of us. No more private transportation either; it needs to look like we could be at anyplace or still at home.

Weiss:Just when I got used to flying first class again. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. *leaving* better go tell Whitley and Winter to cancel their plans for a week. Their about to get a decades worth of sibling love in seven days. Also, don’t worry about money too much; the Schnee secret account has enough for ten life times. *closes the door*

Neo sits on the porch holding a bucket. Her face a little pale and sweaty.

Weiss:Are you okay? I could give you a lift back h-

Neo:The body is still in the ship. I wanted to get rid of it before you were done but.....*heaving over the bucket* I don’t think I can look at what’s left of him again.

Weiss:*Picks her up* don’t worry about it. I was gonna get rid of the ship itself anyways. Let’s get some food and head out.

Neo:Thank you.....

Back inside the house Blake and Adam begin to leave as well. Nora and Ren also begin to get escorted by Mercury and Emerald.

Yang:Adam....

Adam:Hmm?

Yang:.....thanks.

Adam:*nods* It’s in your hands now. Word of advice, your daughter will feel hurt no matter your decision. So pick the one that you truly feel is right, then do everything you can to ease the pain of the path you don’t decide.

Yang:Meaning......

Adam:Fill the void. *Walks out*

Blake:Take care, menagerie will always be a haven if you need to regroup. *walks out*

Ruby:We’ll keep that in mind; see ya.

Jaune:I’d hate to be a bother but can Tenzen stay back a little while longer? It might be best for Yang and I to stay here a bit longer but...

Tenzen:Of course I’ll check on Jin. If that’s okay I mean.

Tai:I’ll take him home so you two don’t have to worry about him being alone.

Nora:.....

Tenzen:......*smiles*

Nora:Sigh......be safe and please take things slow for once? You’re injured and haven’t eaten yet.

Ren:speaking of eating...*pulls out granola bar* can you actually grab it on your way out this time?

Tenzen:*takes it* This would’ve been useful earlier. Love you both. *hugs them both and runs out the door* (Next stop, Jin’s place. Probably not even home yet knowing her.)

Yang:You both have an amazing child. I’m thankful him and Yujin are close.

Ren:She’s just as amazing and we’re just as thankful. I don’t think he knows just how much he talks about her. Get some rest okay?

Nora:You deserve it.

Finally the house is only filled with family members, but still feels very smothering. Yang’s eyes are fixated on the map that holds a daunting journey her sister will soon take. A journey that could use every pair of hands possible. So why? Why can’t she just make the logical choice already? Why can’t she can’t she tell everyone the answer she’s already chosen? Reason and emotion clashing cause her to lay down on the couch as tears roll down her face.

Yang:Can I have some time alone please?

Everyone leaves, except Jaune. He chooses to sit beside the couch and extends his hand; causing her to grab it instantly.

Yang:Jaune......?

Jaune:Yes? *tearing up*

She rubs her finger across her wedding ring before slowly taking it off. Her hand trembling terribly as she places it in his. Try as she might, there’s no amount of strength that could make her look at him as she breaks his heart again. Energy in her voice drained completely and left weak.

Yang:I’m sorry.....*sniffles* I’m so sorry Jaune. I’m so, so sorry.......

Jaune:*takes the ring and pulls her into a hug* I’ve waited this long; I can keep waiting.

Yang:It’s not fair! I don’t want to keep you waiting anymore, or Yujin! I love you both so much!!!

Jaune: But knowing how things might go if you stay behind scares you. As much as it hurts me, I get it. Do what you think is best. *crying*

*upstairs*

Ruby:.....Dad, I need your help. You really haven’t changed this place at all right?

Tai:Been this way since you guys left for Beacon in the first place. The only changes have been the small stuff that’s piled up through the years.

Ruby:Like our letters, pictures, and stuff.

Tai:Yeah, why?

Ruby:That’s a lot of memorabilia. *looking into her room* a lifetime in fact. Help me find all of it please? I want to try something .

Tai:What’s going on in that head of yours kiddo?

Ruby:*picks up an old scroll* Ways to help Yang cushion the blow.

[Dirt Road]

Tenzen:*sprinting* (Geez I thought I’d run into her by now. I doubt she ran home if she’s sulking. I should see her any min-) *stops *......

He was right about catching up to her. As mad as she was, it made sense why Jaune wanted someone to check up on her. The negative emotions had attracted some unwanted visitors and Tenzen was witnessing the aftermath. Plumes of smoke from fallen grimm littered the path and through it was his friend glowing brilliantly. Standing still in front of a lonely beowulf that snarled wildly at her. Tenzen couldn’t see her face but her knew she wasn’t fazed one bit.

Tenzen:Yujin?

Yujin:Get lost Tenzen; not in a good mood.

Tenzen:I can see that. Your dad wanted me to come check up on you. After everything that’s happened and all.

Yujin:I’m fine.....these things tried to hurt but it didn’t go so well for them. I’m already in more pain than they can cause.

With that statement the Beowulf lunged right at her. Immediately latching onto her bitting down on her shoulder, but his teeth didn’t sink in. Instead they chipped and broke apart like if it had bit marble. Before it got a chance to let go of her it’s life was over; a whole right through it’s chest was easily made with a single punch from the future huntress in training. She finally turned around to see the shock on Tenzen’s face. Was it because this is the first time seeing her semblance, or because she did all this with no weapon?

Yujin:I’m doing just fine as you can see. You ran here for nothing.

Tenzen:I didn’t come here for nothing. So you don’t need help fighting. Maybe there’s another way I could-

Yujin:I want to be alone Tenzen....

Tenzen:.....Well that’s a lie. From here it looks like you’re tired of being alone. You want-

Yujin:*covers her ears* OH MY GOD, JUST SHUT UP!!! You always have to be the sensible one right!? Help poor little Yujin anytime she’s feeling low. Maybe I’d be more sensible too if I had both of my parents at home too! Injured or not, they were always a room away and-

Tenzen:Currently on their way home to prepare for their journey.

Yujin:......*eyes widened* They both decided to go....?

Tenzen:Mom wants to make a difference, and my dad really needs that surgery. He didn’t want to go at first but it’s the best thing to do. Then he’ll fight as well. Can’t say this puts us in the same boat at all but I think we can both agree this situation is pretty shitty. *smiles*

Yujin:.........*eyes turn blue*

Tenzen:Come on and let’s get you home. *takes her hand and walks ahead* We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to.

Yujin:......

She wanted to apologize but couldn’t. There was too many emotions she desperately tried to contain. Any more words, and single act of vulnerability would give way to sea of feelings she did not want to face right now. So she just held his hand quietly and firm; praying that he understood what she was trying to convey.

Tenzen:I forgive you.

No response was given and he never turned around. The only sounds heard was pained sniffling from his friend trying to keep it together. He felt her other hand rest on top his as they continued to walk. Nothing else was said. Nothing else needed to be said.