#Baekhyun angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bobohu4eva · 11 months ago

Text

Illicit Affairs

Characters: Idol!Baekhyun x trainee/idol!Reader

Genre: smut, angst

Warnings: explicit unprotected sex, virgin sex, significant age gap, problematic relationship dynamics, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way representative of a healthy relationship

WC: 9.7k (trust me it needed to be that long)

A/N: Heavily inspired by the song, although the forbidden nature of the relationship is interpreted more as dealing with the age difference and dynamic, rather than being a result of infidelity. I definitely recommend giving it a listen before reading further.

Masterlist

He was one of the last people you met after becoming a trainee, but he was the one you'd been thinking about meeting the most.

Baekhyun was the reason you decided to become a singer. He was the person that made you fall in love with music and singing ten years ago, so when you finally bumped into him in person, it left you breathless and flustered.

He was even more gorgeous than you could've expected, and you'd already met many other idols by then. You'd been waiting for your vocal lesson one evening, and he was the person who went right before you. When his lesson ended, he walked out of the soundproof room, and he was standing right in front of you.

The image of him you'd always had in your mind, based on the countless pictures and videos you'd seen of him throughout the years, couldn't compare at all. With him directly before you, in person, he looked so much better than you ever could've imagined. He was just wearing a black tshirt and sweats, no makeup, hair unstyled and even a bit messy, but you still had to fight off the urge to stare. He was quite a bit taller than you, and you could see the muscle definition in his chest and arms under the plain black shirt. Everything about him was just so perfectly shaped, to you. From his familiar but still somehow surprisingly handsome face, to his broad shoulders, down to his waist and hips. If you found him attractive before meeting him in person, you were down badly now.

It was so natural and sweet how he greeted you, asking if you were new, and wishing you the best for your trainee journey. Of course you thanked him, but he could easily see how much the sudden meeting had shaken you up, so he kept it brief.

From then on, you saw him there every week before your lesson, and found yourself looking forward to it every time. The greetings became short conversations, and eventually you even told him how he'd been the one to inspire you back in the day to also be a singer and eventually audition. You would never forget how those words made his face light up.

“Really? Back then I had no idea what I was doing, I'm still surprised by how much people seemed to like me. It means a lot to hear that.”

He had one of those special kinds of smiles that you only see a few times in your life. It made you feel seen, appreciated, like to him, you were the only other person that mattered. He had that kind of energy about him.

All you could think to do was blush and smile back. Being around him was almost like some sort of high to you, the way your heart pounded and you got butterflies in your stomach.

Finally your voice teacher popped his head out the door, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold. We'll keep it short today.”

Without missing a beat, Baekhyun spoke up. “If you need to take the night off I can take over her lesson.” He turned towards you, “Would you be okay with that?”

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out, so you just nodded.

“You sure?” The teacher said, “That would be great, thank you.”

“Of course, it's already pretty late, you should get some rest.”

So, you were left with Baekhyun teaching your lesson for the evening. You were still dumbfounded as he led you back into the small soundproof room, and asked what you had learned in last week's lesson.

You answered him, though it was barely above a whisper. Having him teaching you all of the sudden was not something you were mentally prepared for.

However he still understood, and started leading you through some warm ups.

To say that you were blushing, embarrassed, mortified, or anything similar still felt like an understatement. Warm ups just aren't cute.They felt silly and sounded dumb and the idea of doing them in front of Baekhyun of all people made you want to curl up into a tiny ball and become one with the carpet on the floor.

Of course Baekhyun quickly caught on to that. “How about we do them together? I'll start, and you just match me, ok?”

His voice concealed your own enough to ease your mind a bit, but soon he was asking you to sing on your own, without his voice to hide behind.

You could barely get out a sound, let alone properly sing a simple scale. It was frustrating beyond belief, you knew you were a good singer, and you were incredibly lucky to have him offer to teach you, but your shyness still got the best of you. Trying to do anything while his eyes were on you felt impossible.

Baekhyun was starting to regret offering to do the lesson, not because he didn't want to, but because he felt he was making you uncomfortable. He loved the idea of mentoring a trainee, helping them develop their skills and getting to see them debut with his encouragement, it had even been a dream of his. Of course this was only one vocal lesson, but it was something he'd been thinking about for a while, and this seemed like a great opportunity, at least at first. But he knew he couldn't force it, and he didn't want to hold you back either.

“I'm sorry, I didn't really think this through. Should we call it a night?” He asked, and you felt your heart sink. The disappointment evident on your face must've told him that you weren't quite ready to give up yet, so he made you an offer.

“What if I face the wall, and you close your eyes, just imagine I'm not here and you're practicing by yourself. Just so I can hear you and get a better idea for what we should work on.”

You took a deep breath. He was just another person, and he was here because he wanted to help you.

When you nodded, he smiled, ready to give it your best shot before he turned away, facing the corner of the room.

It actually came out sounding okay that time, so you repeated it again for good measure.

When you opened your eyes Baekhyun was looking your way again, with a proud smile on his face.

He had you repeat it a few more times, reassuring you every time that you were doing well, and for you, just seeing him smiling and praising you was enough to keep you going.

With you finally past your mental block, he was able to get an idea of where you were at, and both of you were surprised to see how quickly two hours went by. He still kept things simple, not wanting to overwhelm you or make you shy again, but it was going amazingly well and he found himself almost as excited about it as you, if not even more.

With the lesson finally over, he offered to drive you back to your dorm on his way home, and you happily accepted. When he led you to his car, a silver Porsche, you let out a small laugh in disbelief. Baekhyun just smiled, making a little extra show out of opening the door for you, before circling around to get in himself. You stayed quiet, just listening to him softly sing along to the music he'd put on until it was time for him to drop you off. Part of you was still in disbelief, that you'd really spent the last few hours with him, and now, you were next to him in his car as he drove you home. When he pulled up to your dorm, he wished you a good night, and didn't move until he saw you enter the building safely. As you laid in bed that night you replayed it all in your mind, smiling like a fool at how heart fluttering it all was. For the first time, you couldn’t fall asleep because your reality was somehow even better than what you could dream up.

One week later, when you arrived for your lesson again, you were surprised when Baekhyun and your original teacher said they wanted to discuss something with you.

“How would you feel about having your vocal lessons with me from now on?” Baekhyun asked.

They saw the surprise on your face, your first teacher nodding at what Baekhyun had said.

“Wow, I mean, are you sure? It's an honor, of course, but, why..?”

“Teaching is something I've been thinking a lot about lately and I really enjoyed our lesson last week. It's up to you, of course, but if you'd be interested then I'd love to be your new voice teacher.”

You laughed, mostly in disbelief. It felt too good to be true. Baekhyun was someone you'd looked up to for so long, and now he was happily offering to personally help you with your singing.

“You really mean that?”

He was still smiling in that almost frustratingly captivating way, nodding at your question. “So should we get started?”

Unlike the week prior you had a bit more confidence this time around, and both you and him thoroughly enjoyed the lesson. Every week that followed your voice grew even bolder, as you got more used to being around him. You got less nervous to see him, moreso happy and excited to get to sing with him, and having him as your teacher made you all the more dedicated to doing your absolute best.

Soon you started to ask him about other things, too. First it was dancing, asking his advice for how to memorize choreographies more easily. Then, how to talk to the media, or how to pose for photo shoots. Within a few months Baekhyun was much more than just the voice teacher you saw once a week. He helped you with basically every aspect of becoming a successful idol, he became a mentor to you.

You could never fully get used to it, to having him in your life in such a close way. Your heart would still flutter when he showed you that amazing smile of his, and you still refused to slack off on your vocals or dancing, because you wanted to impress him, but mostly because you’d get to see that very smile. He was every bit as lovely and charming as you’d always imagined he would be, and you fell hard for him, he made it impossible for you not to. With how sweet he was to you, it sometimes seemed like he might actually like you, as more than a student, but those were thoughts you pushed away, knowing realistically that a relationship with him was nothing more than a fantasy.

It was only six months into being a trainee that you were told you would debut, and you knew that you had him to thank for it. Another few months later the day came, and it was time for you to perform with your group for the first time.

As soon as you stepped off stage, out of the view of the cameras, you lost it. The tears weren't because you felt sad or disappointed, simply overwhelmed. You knew you'd done well, really well in fact. Your career had officially begun, and the weight of it came down on you all at once, leaving you with little to do but sit in your dressing room in disbelief.

There was a soft knock on the door, and next thing you knew Baekhyun’s head was peeking in, and you weren't sure you'd ever seen him smile that big before.

Without as much as a second of hesitation, you ran to the door, pulling him inside. As the door shut behind him, his arms wrapped around you.

His praises almost went unheard, still too overwhelmed by everything to fully listen to what he was saying, but you could tell he was happy, that he thought you'd done really well.

It wasn't long until his arms broke away, hands still on your shoulders as he looked at you, smiling that amazing smile of his. With him looking at you like that, telling you how well you'd done, how proud he was, how happy he was to be your mentor, your emotions ran wild. It was everything, the adrenaline, relief, euphoria, and just him.

His eyes were still on your teary ones, admiring you, a little overwhelmed himself. Seeing you finally debut after the months he'd spent with you, singing together, dancing, doing everything he could to make sure you were ready when the day came, got him a little teary eyed, too. You'd done so well, and he felt so lucky to have gotten to be there by your side for all of it.

“I'm so proud of you.” He said, his hands moving down from your shoulders, along your arms. His eyes held so much warmth behind them, the sweet words along with his hands on you, and the way he never took his eyes away from you, had you reeling, stomach doing flips. For a second you swore his face was getting closer to yours, and his eyes flickered down to your lips. The tension seemed so thick, it became unbearable.

You threw your arms around him, and you kissed him.

At first he took a step back, stumbling a bit, too surprised to fully react. But before you had the chance to pull away, his hand was holding your face against his own, returning the same kind of passion you showed him.

Baekhyun, your endlessly kind, lovely, talented, handsome, funny, charming mentor, was kissing you back. With his free arm, he circled your waist and pulled you closer, flush with his chest. The hand on your face held you close so softly, asking, not demanding, for more contact, for this to not end so quickly. He gave you every chance to pull away, to stop him, but you didn't, you only melted into his affection even more.

The knock on the door pulled you both rudely back to reality. Your lips parted, and as you stared at one another, what you'd just done started to sink in. Baekhyuns’ face fell in a way you’d never seen before, and then he was gone. He walked through the door with all the horror disgust he felt towards himself clearly evident and the knot in his stomach nearly made him sick.

He knew he made a huge mistake. He fucked up so incredibly badly.

You stood there stunned, a million things running through your head, and collapsed under the weight of it all.

The stylist was confused to say the least after first witnessing Baekhyun’s swift exit and next finding you, sitting on the floor crying. Thankfully she excused herself and let you be.

Baekhyun kissed you, and then just walked out, leaving you alone and confused. The guilt nearly ate him alive. Returning your kiss crossed so many lines and he should've known better, and he did, but you caught him so off guard, in such an emotionally charged moment, it just happened. The sudden euphoria of realizing that you were kissing him overpowered any rational thought. He knew he must be insane.

And of all days, it was the day of your debut.

He had to make this right.

He returned to your waiting room but it was already empty. He kept walking around the building trying to find you, even running into your bandmates, but you were nowhere to be found.

Then he tried calling you, but he was sent to voicemail after the first ring. You declined his call. Finally he texted you, although he really didn't want to have this conversation over text. He knew he needed to do a better job at apologizing than just sending a few texts

“Can we please talk about this? I'm so sorry I just walked out, I wasn't thinking, I need to talk to you.”

You didn't reply.

The next day he called again, and still you didn't pick up.

The truth was, you were too embarrassed. Seeing him again, after he'd rejected you like that, was just too mortifying to consider. You felt so stupid. Of course kissing him was an outrageously dumb thing to do. He was your mentor, of course anything romantic was off the table. But you had a crush, and the adrenaline, combined with how sweet he was to you, made you lose any sense of reason.

Stupid little girl, kissing the man she never even had a chance with, because her emotions got the best of her.

But then why did he kiss you back?

That was what drove you insane. Of course you had a crush on him, it was painfully obvious from the first day you'd met him, but he'd always stayed professional, never giving you any reason to think that it was anything more than how a fan feels toward their idol, and that it ever would be. Unfortunately for you, your feelings towards him only got stronger over time.

Baekhyun had convinced himself that it was a good thing you liked him, that with him as your mentor, you'd work that much harder. He thought it was cute, the same way he thought of other fans' attitudes towards him, during fansigns and the like. He hadn't considered that maybe he'd gotten a little too close with you, that those lines started to feel blurred. In reality, you weren't just another fan, you were far from it. You were a real friend, you knew him.

It was easy for him to understand why you didn't want to see or talk to him after what happened. He knew he messed up, both when he kissed you back, and when he left the room. He couldn't even imagine what must've been going through your head. He hoped you weren't blaming yourself, sure you're an adult, but at ten whole years older than you, he knew he was the one responsible for making sure things stayed appropriate between you two, and he'd failed.

To his relief, you still did amazing for the rest of the debut promotions. He watched every performance, wishing he could've been there to support you.

Because of how busy you were you'd agreed a while ago to skip lessons for the first two weeks after debut, and as the days dragged on, Baekhyun was starting to worry that he wouldn't get to see you again for a lot longer than he'd like. He still knew he needed to apologize to you, and the longer you avoided him the guiltier he felt.

When promotions ended and he still hadn't heard from you, he reached out to your manager, asking when you'd have time for a lesson again.

She assured him that you'd be there next week at the same time and place as usual, and he breathed a sigh of relief. The days before the lesson dragged on for what felt like ages to him, but at least there was an end in sight.

When the time finally came, you were mortified, almost as badly as the first day you'd met him, or during your first lesson together, maybe even worse. He greeted you just as warmly as he always did, emphasizing how well you'd done during all the performances, and how he wished he could've been there for you. He did everything he could to try and relieve some of the tension and awkwardness, but you weren't there yet.

You were bright red, hating the unpleasant heat sweeping over you, burning your cheeks and making you uncomfortably sweaty. You couldn't talk to him, or even make eye contact, you were still too ashamed.

“Y/n?” You saw in your peripheral how he looked at you, and your eyes started to water. “I need to apologize for what happened after the showcase, I'm so sorry, I never should've put you in that situation, or kissed you back, or just left like I did. I was being reckless and stupid, the fault is all mine, and I understand if not, but I really hope you can forgive me.”

His heart sank when you started to cry, and although he'd told himself a million times that he wouldn't, that any physical contact with you was inappropriate, he still ended up holding you, giving you a shoulder to cry on.

“I'm such a fucking idiot.” You eventually let out between sobs, and he detached himself from you, finally meeting your eyes.

“Please don't say that, this is all on me. I'm the one who fucked up, not you.”

“But I'm the one- I-”

“Because I was being inappropriate. Like I said, I shouldn't have put you in that situation, that was my mistake.”

“I'm just so embarrassed.” It came out barely above a whisper.

“Nobody saw us, and I could never judge you for that. I know you just got caught up in the moment.”

You did your best to smile and nod, but the tears just kept coming. His words were sweet but did little to mend the pain and shame you still felt.

He wanted to reach out and wipe away your tears, to hold you, to comfort you as best he could, but he knew it would only worsen things. Once again, however, when you leaned into him for comfort, he let you do as you pleased, cursing himself for letting his very necessary boundaries slip away so easily.

This was bad, he knew it was. He didn't have the strength to push you away though he really should've. If this was going to continue, he had to do better, but he was coming to terms with the fact that he just wasn't able to.

He stayed holding you until the tears eventually slowed down, and came to a stop. Now that your face wasn't buried in his chest anymore, he shot you a soft smile. “Do you want to get to singing?”

Finally, you let out a small laugh. “Do we have to? Can we just talk? I missed you.”

He sighed, but nodded. He'd missed you too, but saying so didn't feel like a good idea.

He kept the conversation light, trying to make you laugh, anything to brighten your mood, if only for a little while. When the end of the lesson came, he knew he was going to have to be the bearer of bad news.

“Next week I promise we can actually sing again.” You told him as he led you to his car to bring you home.

He took a few deep breaths, and you were on your way to your dorm when he finally replied.

“I don't think it's a good idea for me to be mentoring you, or giving your lessons anymore.”

“What?”

He stopped at a red light, and the look of hurt and disappointment he saw when he looked over at you made his throat feel tight.

“I'll talk to your original voice teacher, to see when he can fit you into his schedule again, now that you're getting more advanced it'll be better for you to train with him anyway.”

You felt your lip start to quiver again. “You just don't want to be around me anymore now, I get it.” You mumbled, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice.

Baekhyun’s eyes squeezed shut for a second, “it's really not that, not at all.”

He was pulling up to your dorm and you just wanted to get away from him now before he saw you start to cry again. “You don't have to keep lying to me, I know I'm the one who fucked everything up with that stupid kiss.”

He parked, trying to think of how he could finally convince you that it wasn't your fault, but you were reaching for the door before he had the chance to say anything.

“Y/n, wait, please-”

You were already gone though, shutting the door behind you. As soon as you were outside of his car the tears came, and you tried to wipe them away as best you could as you hurried to your dorm.

When you got to the elevator you prayed nobody would see you like this. You'd spent so much of the evening in tears, you knew you looked an absolute mess. You just wanted to get to your room where you could finally be alone and let it all out.

“Y/n, wait!”

You turned around, and there he was, jogging towards where you stood. Your stomach suddenly felt like it was in your throat, and then he was in front of you once again, this time taking both of your hands in his.

“I don't know what to tell you, for you to believe me, but it's not your fault, I swear. I- I don't want to stop teaching you either, really, but I can't keep being alone with you, not when I can't trust myself.”

All you could do was stare back at him, knowing that you were a tearful mess. What he was telling you didn't make any sense in your mind. You kissed him. Not the other way around.

“Please say something.” He was still panting a little as he said it, winded from having run after you.

“What does that even m-mean, you can't trust yourself? I'm the one who kissed you, and I'm definitely not stupid enough to try that again, so what does it matter?”

“I already told you, I shouldn't have put you, or us, in that situation in the first place.”

“But that doesn't fucking matter! Who cares if we're alone, we've been alone for the last two hours and it was fine.”

Only it really hadn't been fine, he knew that he shouldn't have been touching you at all.

You were staring back at him through tear filled eyes, and he felt absolutely terrible. He wanted to be able to comfort you, and eventually just gave in, throwing caution to the wind and wrapping his arms around you.

He just didn't have it in him to stand and watch you cry, knowing that he was the reason. This time he felt the way you grabbed onto the back of his shirt, keeping him from moving away.

“Please don't cry, I'm sorry, really, I just want what's best for you. We would still see each other occasionally around the company, it's not like this is goodbye forever.”

“I- I don't want lessons with anyone else. You're the whole reason I was able to debut, you can't just leave me now. Please.”

You were still holding onto him, and with every “please” you added, he was slipping. He hoped that you would eventually calm down, and he would be able to reason with you, to finally make you understand why he couldn't be around you so much anymore.

He had no such luck. All you could think about was how badly you would miss him, how lost you would feel if he stopped mentoring you, the last few weeks had been bad enough already, the only thing that got you through without him was your embarrassment and how busy you'd been. You couldn't lose him, you needed him.

Every minute that he listened to you cry because of him, he felt his rationality fade. As much as he knew he needed to distance himself, he wasn't going to do it if it hurt you that badly.

You felt him take a deep breath, and finally, a soft “okay” fell from his lips.

It wasn't until then that he felt your grip on him loosen, and you looked up at him.

“What? Really?” You sniffled, face still wet.

He nodded, running one hand through your hair, moving it from where it had started to stick to your face.

Once again, your arms were thrown around him, but at least this time, it was because you were happy. You must've said thank you to him a million times that night, as you felt the relief wash over you. Baekhyun was all too aware of the way your chest pressed against his own.

When he was finally free of your arms around him, you were beaming up at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. “You should get to your dorm before people start getting worried.”

You nodded, pressing the button and hugging him one more time before the elevator arrived.

“Bye” he waved, as you stepped inside and the doors started to shut “see you next week.”

He knew he was in too deep, and he was a fool to give in to you, but now it was too late. He was going to have to live with his decision and try to keep things from going further, but he

knew deep down that realistically, he didn’t have that kind of self control, not with you.

Baekhyun hadn’t planned on seeing you again until the next lesson, but when your debut song entered the top ten on all the major charts just a few days later, he wanted to celebrate, and invited you to a nice dinner. That day you spent hours getting ready, putting on your favorite dress and making sure your hair and makeup were perfect. You knew that it wasn’t a date, but the way you felt leading up to him arriving could’ve fooled you.

He picked you up and drove you to the restaurant, pulling up in the back where there was already somebody waiting to lead you to a private dining area where you’d be out of sight of the public. You hadn’t really thought about it, but you understood why it would probably be better for your dinner with him to stay between the two of you.

It was the first time you’d been around him just to hang out, more as a friend than a student, and you thought it was magical. You were nervous at first, still having all of the past drama with him on your mind, but he was his usual wonderful self, easily leading the conversation, making you laugh until your stomach hurt, and he too felt it, how easy and right this was. You ended up at the restaurant with him for over two hours, neither of you wanting the night to end. Finally the awkward tension from the previous weeks was gone, replaced with optimism and gratitude for still having him in your life.

When he finally dropped you off, he got out of the car to walk you inside, and you ended up alone with him, standing in front of the elevator once again.

“Thank you for tonight,” You started, “everything still feels kind of surreal, I can’t believe this is actually my life now. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“You always had it in you.” He said and smiled that lovely warm smile. You were about to press the button to take you upstairs, but he stopped you, looking around to make sure you were alone. “Wait- I know I tell you all the time that I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come, but I really can’t say it enough. I’m really lucky that I get to teach you. You have something special, truly.”

You and him got stuck in a weird place, neither one talking, but not making any effort to leave either. The way he was looking at you pulled you in, and you thought you saw something flash across his face, something you hadn’t seen before. He stepped closer, close enough that you could feel his breath against your skin, and your heart rate skyrocketed, confused. He wasn’t sure what came over him, he must be insane.

“Baekhyun?” You barely whispered, but he didn’t explain himself, instead he leaned in, and he kissed you.

Your mind was going a million miles a minute and it made no sense to you whatsoever, but he was kissing you, softly, sweetly, like something out of one of the many day dreams you’d had about him. As quickly as it started he was pulling away again, his face tinted a deep shade of pink, smiling a bit bashfully at you, still too shocked to react.

“Goodnight.” He whispered, and then he was walking back to his car.

After that, things felt completely different with him. The hugs got longer, his words sweeter, and every time he dropped you off, he’d again kiss you goodnight. It wasn’t only after your weekly lessons together that he would drive you around either, you and him began to spend more and more time together, and had to get more and more cautious about not being seen.

You would sneak out in big hoodies with a mask on to walk to where he was waiting in the parking lot, just to drive around all night with him in one of his fancy cars, talking, singing, and sometimes pulling off to the side of a quiet road where he would lean over and kiss you, though it never went any further. He knew that sneaking around with and kissing his student was bad enough, anything more, and in public, would be a whole different kind of stupid.

Both of you started to lie a lot, to your managers, friends, anyone really who would question or even just ask about your relationship. To everyone else, he was still just your mentor, a strict student-teacher agreement and no more. The lying should’ve been your first clue as to how wrong it all was, but you were blinded by your feelings for him. Getting to be alone with him, kiss him, and talk to him about things no one else knew was too all consuming for you to even think twice about it.

How you talked to each other changed too. When you were alone with him he would call you baby, treating you less like a student, or even just a friend, and more as a lover. You should’ve been happy, thrilled, even, and you were when you were with him, but when he’d drop you off and you’d be alone in your dorm again, you’d break down.

The late nights together, the romance, the kisses, they were all wonderful in the moment, but afterwards you’d always part ways, realizing that it was all fleeting, that any relationship beyond what you already had with him was impossible, because no matter how you might feel about each other, you were still his student, and far too young to be involved with him in any deeper way. No number of kisses or secret rendezvous would make him yours, he made that clear. You would always end up alone in your dorm at the end of it all, crying, knowing it would never turn into anything more.

Seeing him during lessons was a different experience now. There would be other people around, and they didn’t think twice seeing you together, but you and Baekhyun would give each other knowing looks, or he’d wink at you, or something else to signify your little secret. You and him almost had a special secret language, joking with each other often with little more than a glance.

Even your manager didn’t know about you and him, she knew that he was mentoring you, but she’d known him for so long, she never even suspected that he might be acting inappropriately with you, he just didn’t seem like that kind of guy.

The two of you had everyone fooled, and while it felt exciting on the surface, it also grew a new kind of shame within you, knowing that what you were doing was deeply wrong.

What you had with him wasn’t real, and never should or could be, and it was starting to tear you apart. It took you weeks of working up the courage to do so, but finally, during a lesson, you decided you were going to confront him with all of it.

“Can I ask you something?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Sure.”

“But you have to promise you'll answer honestly!”

“Okay! I promise.”

You took a deep breath. “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. The sneaking around, the kissing, what is that about?”

He'd been perfectly relaxed, but you could see how he tensed up as he realized what you were talking about.

“Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about that right now-”

“You said you'd answer!”

A long sigh left him, eyes squeezing shut for a second. “Okay, okay. I’m just doing what feels right. You know I like you, but you also know that we can’t just act like we’re together either.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Cause it’s inappropriate? We both know that this entire arrangement hasn't been appropriate since you decided to mentor me, knowing that I have a huge crush on you.”

You wanted to finally hear it from him, wanted him to admit that he'd been just as irresponsible as you, and Baekhyun didn't say a word. It was the hard truth that he'd been trying for so long to avoid, and you threw it right in his face.

“Ever since then it feels like you've been slowly leading me on, acting like we have something special but never letting it feel completely real, when you're the one who started all this in the first place, and let it get this far.”

He stared at you, and he knew he couldn't keep it up anymore, couldn't keep ignoring it. He saw your hurt and frustration clear as day, and finally, he broke.

“I'm a fucking idiot. I know I am, I'm an idiot and knew that getting so close with you was a terrible idea but I ignored all of that because I like you too much, I never intended for us to end up like this and feel like a huge asshole because I know I'm in a position where it's completely wrong of me to touch you at all because of how we met and the power dynamic but still every time I see you that's all I can think about.”

“Do you really not understand how cruel you're being?”

You scoffed at how genuinely confused he looked.

“I've liked you so much for so long, you know I have, and you just waltz into my life and start talking to me and then teaching me and then offering to mentor me, when you know I can't help but fall for you. You even make it clear that you like me back, inviting me out with you and kissing me but never truly acknowledging what it means, it feels fucking awful. You keep stringing me along because you like me even though you know you can't give me what I really want. You're such a selfish asshole for that.”

Your voice grew less and less stable and Baekhyun saw how the tears gathered in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

He knew there was no use trying to argue with you, he'd gotten himself into this mess and he knew he was the one to blame. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. But it can’t go on like this, it hurts too much.”

The small room fell silent and all you could do was stare at each other. You looked so defeated, the guilt nearly brought him to tears, and he did the only thing he could think to do.

He held your face in his hands, bringing you close, letting his lips meet your own.

Kissing him was just as electrifying as it always was, only this time, he didn't stop, didn't hold back. You got lost in the feeling, savoring the familiar taste and feel of finally getting what you craved again. This time though, it couldn't end the way it always did. Something had to change, so you pulled away.

“You can’t just kiss me again and then keep on the same way. Please, I need more.”

His face fell, because he knew he couldn’t give you that. “Y/n, I’m sorry, but you know why I can’t do that, why it has to be like this.”

And he was right, of course you understood, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It would be the end of his career if he was seen with you, and even his close friends would be raising eyebrows. He was so much older, your teacher, and your idol. What you wanted was completely impossible. “I care about you, a lot, you know I do. I also wish it wasn’t like this but we don’t have another choice.”

“So what? You keep stringing me along, and I just have to live with it? Knowing that no matter how much we may want it, we’ll never be able to be together?”

He sighed, and frowned at how sad you looked. “Can’t we just be grateful for what we do have?”��

You shook your head, “I want too much.”

Despite everything you said, you and him both knew that you wouldn't be able to walk away, and neither would he. So when he took your face in his hands, whispered another “I'm sorry,” and kissed you again, you melted into him effortlessly.

It was heated and messy, both letting out all your grief and frustration, clinging to each other almost desperately. He kissed you harder, deeper than he had before, until this time he was the one to pull away, though he didn't move far, looking at you with a look that while apologetic, was still hopeful.

“I can't give you what you want, but if we're careful, I can take you home with me. For tonight, we can act like it’s real.”

Before, taking you home with him had always been off the table. You were both too easily recognizable, and being seen in his building together would make it dead obvious that your relationship was more than it should be, so it didn’t even seem like an option.

Wide eyed, you nodded, and not even a half hour into the lesson he was sneaking you carefully out of the practice room, and then the building, into his car. You texted your manager some bullshit excuse as to why you'd be gone for the night, and then you were on your way to his place, for the very first time.

You could hear the rapid pounding of your own heart as he drove you through the night, unsure but excited. Even if it was only for one night, and he was risking far too much, you were going to hold onto whatever you could get.

When he pulled into his building’s garage, he gave you a hat and a mask to put on, he pulled up his hood and put his own mask on, saying a short prayer before getting out of the car, and walking in with you. If anyone saw and recognized you both, he would be fucked, so he hurried, and luckily you made it to his apartment without running into anyone.

Once inside you both let out a sigh of relief. You were alone with him, truly alone, no chance of passers by seeing you, or label mates catching onto your relationship, just you and him, all night.

When you felt his hand on your own, pulling you closer, it robbed you of your breath. He took his mask off, and then yours, and leaned in, though his lips only barely met your own before he was looking at you once again. “I’ve wanted you so badly, and I know it’s wrong and I’m an idiot and an asshole for doing this, but I just can’t bring myself to stay away from you.”

“So don’t. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I’m all yours.”

You looked up at him, eyes sparking with all the hope and clueless naivety he should expect from you, a girl of barely twenty, who’d grown up loving him, and was powerless not to fall into his trap, whether he’d set it on purpose or not. He was a man ten years your senior, who positioned himself as an authority figure in your life, someone who should never touch you, kiss you, or anything even close.

The guilt manifested as a lump in his throat, knowing that your feelings for him, your willingness to ignore how wrong it all was, were because of him.

Still, he kissed you, with a kind of passion that was new to you both. Without any risk of getting caught, he let himself hold you tighter, let the kiss get more and more heated. He led you to the couch, where you ended up on his lap, his hands on your hips as his lips wandered to your neck, kissing, biting, enough to make you gasp and shiver, but not leave marks.

For you it was otherworldly, lightheaded and dizzy with disbelief as his hands and lips stayed glued to your skin, finally living out the fantasies that played in your head when you laid alone at night, longing for him. You’d kissed boys in the past, but none of them came anywhere close to the way he made you feel. You were convinced nobody could ever make you feel the things Baekhyun could, and all he’d done was kiss you. He wasn’t some boy, he was a man, he knew what he was doing, and you wanted more. Every last little piece of him.

The restraint was gone. He wanted you just as badly, and that was all he could focus on. When you pushed your hips further into him, he groaned at the friction, easily getting carried away. You felt, looked, sounded, tasted, even smelled divine to him. He’d been hard for a good while already, and this time when you rolled your hips and he felt you against him, he let out a satisfied groan.

That only encouraged you further and you kept moving, lips moving heatedly against his, as you started to get yourself off against him, his hands on your ass guiding you.

“I want more.” You breathed out when he pulled back for air. “Where’s your bedroom?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer, rather he stood, your legs still wrapped around him as he carried you away, until gently laying you down on his mattress.

With you he became a gentle, caring lover. Maybe it was your age, or the fact that he’d been your mentor, but the way he touched you was like you were something precious. Like if he wasn’t careful, you would break. Even as he positioned himself between your thighs, he was cautious, never moving too quickly, watching for any hesitation on your end.

But there was none, your desire for him was all-consuming in a way that was hard to understand, even in the moment. Without him pressed against you, you felt like you might actually die.

“I’m not made of glass, Baek. You don’t have to be so careful.”

“I know, I just… I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I want this to be special.”

When his lips met yours for the nth time that day, you started to tug on his clothes, until his shirt was being pulled over his head and he got to work undressing you as well. One by one he took off your blouse, followed by the skirt you were wearing, next unhooking your bra, until all that was left on your body was a pair of lacy underwear. Still desperate for his affection, you kept your lips glued to his all you could, the added feel of his warm skin against your own stealing any rationality from your mind. All you could think of was him, you wanted him in a way you didn’t even know was possible.

He froze above you when your hand reached down, trying to get the button of his jeans undone.

Even the few seconds when his touch left you completely as he finished undressing himself felt torturous. A breath got stuck in your throat when you felt his hands at your hips, slowly pulling the last piece of clothing from your body before reclaiming his place between your thighs.

As your eyes met his and he started to move closer, you realized that there was something he needed to know.

“Wait- I should probably tell you, I’ve never done this before.”

You watched as the color drained from Baekhyun’s face, eyes wide. He hadn’t even considered that you might be a virgin, you were old enough to have some experience, but it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to him either. Those five words hit him like a punch in the gut.

He rolled off of you, hands running through his hair, eyes squeezed shut. “God, this is so fucked up.”

You sat up, taking one of his hands and he looked at you with uncertainty. “It’s not a big deal, but I’m sorry if that was a bit of a shock.”

He gave you a sympathetic, but worried look. “It is a big deal though, at least to me. This would be irresponsible enough if it wasn’t your first time, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want to be responsible for how you’ll feel afterwards.”

His words made your heart sink and a lump form in your throat. “What? No, please, Baekhyun, trust me, there isn’t anyone in the entire world that I would rather do this with than you, here and now. Please. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this badly.”

“You have to realize how tough of a spot you’re putting me in.”

“I don’t care. I just want you, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Please.”

You moved closer to him, linking your hands behind the back of his neck, taking him with you as you fell back onto the mattress. He looked down at you, still unsure.

“Please.”

He shushed you with another kiss, but had his own conditions if he was really going to be your first. “You have to tell me immediately if you feel uncomfortable at all, or if it hurts, and you can stop me at any point if you don’t want it anymore.”

You could see in his eyes the concern and uncertainty he was feeling, but you had gotten this far, and you knew what you wanted, and you wanted it bad. You nodded, and he was between your legs once again, the anticipation rising.

Baekhyun didn’t miss the way you gasped at the first touch of his length against your inner thigh. He wanted to make sure you were ready, that it didn’t hurt too badly, so he started with one finger inside you, slowly working it in and out, before adding a second. The wetness and your whimpers told him you were more than ready, easily taking his digits, and finally, he moved to replace them with his length.

You felt him position himself at your entrance, and you were certain you’d never felt that kind anticipation before, leaving you a shaking, panting mess underneath him.

You felt his hand softly against your cheek, and your eyes opened to meet his. “Y/n, baby. You’re sure you want this?”

You nodded without even a second of hesitation. “Yes, god, please.”

The softness of his kiss was a stark contrast to the intrusion of him pushing inside, the pain making your eyes squeeze shut and a whine pass your lips.

He stopped moving when he saw your reaction, giving you time to adjust to the new sensation. “Am I hurting you?”

It did hurt, but your desire overpowered any sign of discomfort. “Please don’t stop.”

With his forehead pressed to yours he kept going, until his hips were flush with yours. He felt your discomfort in how tense you were, staying still to let the pain subside.

“Baekhyun, please.”

You might’ve not minded the pain, too concerned with the intense need for more, but he wasn’t going to move until he knew you were okay.

“I know it hurts baby, you have to relax, can you do that for me?”

You whined in response but realized that he was right, you were extremely un-relaxed, and as you made a conscious effort to let go of all the tension in your body, the pain faded away.

He felt it, and saw how you melted into the mattress, and took it as his cue to start moving.

The first thrust had your back arching, moaning his name and he just kept going, setting a slow rhythm. You clung to him, moaning unabashedly, losing yourself to the new and incredible feeling of him inside you. Nothing could’ve prepared you for it, this was so much better than anything you’d been able to come up with in your own fantasies. Just the weight and warmth of him on top of you overwhelmed you, combined with the feeling of him pushing in, pulling out almost completely each time, before sinking back into you, it was like your own personal heaven. He was your own personal heaven.

It only got better as he kept moving, that familiar warm feeling building in the pit of your stomach. You’d had orgasms before, but what you could do with your own hands didn’t even compare to what he was doing to you. It was a wholly different, and far more intense sensation.

His lips collided with yours in a messy, lustful haze, praises passing his lips in between breaths. “You feel so good baby, so perfect, so beautiful.”

Those words heightened everything even more, his low voice sending chills running down your spine.

“Baek, please.”

You didn’t even know what you were begging for anymore, you were just imploring him for more, everything and anything he could give you, you wanted it. The feeling of him rolling his hips into you again and again clearing your mind, your pleasure and desire all consuming.

However he could see it in your eyes, how you needed more, and picked up the pace. The way he pushed himself into you, now faster, and with more force, had the tightness in your belly growing more intense by the second.

The build up was more intense than you ever knew possible, losing control as he continued his ministrations, until all at once, you fell.

The orgasm raged through you, leaving every nerve ablaze, as you shook and gasped at the overwhelming wave of pleasure.

Above you, Baekhyun was losing control too, still pushing inside deeply, teetering on the edge, but your fucked out expression combined with the way you clenched around him had him reaching his high soon after you, shuddering with a moan as he let go.

For a minute you both stayed just like that, panting, gasping, letting the climax slowly fade, until there was nothing left but a tangled web of sweaty limbs.

When he pulled out and rolled off of you, the loss of his warmth made you whine. You barely even noticed when he got up, soon returning with a wet towel, and cleaning you up.

He settled in next to you, and you smiled when his arm wrapped around you, pulling you into him.

Luckily the exhaustion did well to lull you to sleep, any painful thoughts being pushed to the morning, but you wouldn’t be able to escape them forever.

He woke you up with a kiss on the cheek, and at first it all felt so nice, so tender and intimate, in bed together with him as the sun began to poke through the curtains. Slowly he got up, and you followed, feeling the dull ache between your thighs as you stood.

Seeing the way you grimaced at the soreness, he was quickly at your side. “Shit, sorry.” He muttered.

You just let out a small laugh. “It’s okay, it was worth it, at least. Definitely worth it.”

He smiled, pulling his clothes on as you gathered your own, before doing the same. “Let’s get you home, before it gets busy and people could see us leaving here together."

There it was, the rude call back to reality. That your night with him was over, that now you would have to hide again, to sneak around, and constantly be reminded that he wasn’t really yours, and never would be.

Stupid, foolish girl.

You managed to make it back home without being spotted, and even his kiss goodbye couldn’t keep the sadness from taking you over. He noticed it too, how you seemed to shut down after making it to his car.

Back in your room, you let it all out, letting the tears seep into your pillow. Once again, he’d turned you into a complete mess, the pain and frustration leaving you broken.

Nobody could ever again give you what he could, could make you feel what he could. It was him, the man you’d looked up to and admired for so many years, and now after having slept with him, it was clearer than ever.

That was the nature of your relationship with him. You were powerless to him, and no matter how much it would ruin you, you'd let him do it, over and over again.

For him, you would ruin yourself, a million little times.

#baekhyun smut #exo smut #baekhyun fic #exo fic #baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #kpop smut #baekhyun angst #exo angst

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an-annyeoing-writer · 1 month ago

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idol!Baekhyun x fan!Reader: truth be told.

Word count: 2382

Date of release: 11th November, 2024

Genre: angst, slice of life, half ounce of a fluff, established relationships, mentions of break up and dysfunctional relationships, way too much emotional yapping as for barely any plot.

I'm as surprised as y'all that I wrote something like this. You know, no vampires, no action, no one's actively dying? It's very much not my kind of writing, but I was feeling very emotional at the time. Just don't get used to it.

„It’s not good for you. I don’t think it’s good for me. It’s not healthy for either of us.”

He felt as if the knife you were cutting vegetables with cut right through his heart as well. You deliberately distracted yourself with the activity while he stood nearby, staring at you blankly, but not knowing how to respond.

In the recent weeks, he felt the two of you falling apart. It was like an avalanche that started with a small rock which he didn’t notice at the time, but which escalated into a disaster. Talking less, avoiding meeting up, and until today – the day you announced, as gently as you could, that you wanted to move out and live on your own. You said that it’s just because you want to become more independent, that you shouldn’t rely on him this much. But what will his apartment feel like without you? Your presence here, doing small things such as cutting vegetables, became a staple part of his life.

“Are you still talking about living together? Or about… us?”

Your movements were more frantic than he knew you for. With one a bit too sudden of a motion, the blade cut through the skin of your finger, and you let out a low murmur to cover up the hiss of pain, putting the finger to your lip in mild annoyance. It was more than clear that the cut was not the only reason behind your frustration.

Baekhyun didn’t move.

In any other situation, he would react – mock you a bit for being clumsy while being the first one to bring the first aid kid, maybe pretend to be a vampire struck by the scent of your blood, maybe even panic a little in this cute, puppy-like way if he felt that the amount of blood is greater than acceptable.

But now he didn’t, and it sparked a bit of hurt in you as well, but also brought your attention to the fact that maybe dismissing things and try to make them gentle only worsened the pain that would eventually come. The anxiety of the future that you exposed him to was not like the boil-the-frog that you planned to perform. You wanted to avoid confrontation for as long as necessary, until things dropped naturally. You didn’t expect him to hold onto it.

“Can you be honest with me? Are you able to?” His tone started to show that he, too, was growing frustrated. “Tell me what’s going on. Did something happen? I’m sorry if I can’t catch the clues, but if you made it obvious, then I’m just plain stupid.”

“Nothing… happened. And I’m sorry, I didn’t make it obvious. I didn’t know, how.”

He frowned ever so slightly, taking a step towards you. You backed against the kitchen counter, placing your hands on each side – your finger stung a little, but it was merely a scratch. The real wound was growing in your soul.

“If nothing happened, then why? Did you grow bored of me?”

“Of you?”

“Yeah. Please be honest with me. Just no more sweeting things up, alright?”

His tone was calm, but it lacked softness, it was almost business-like.

“I don’t know how anyone would get bored of you, Baekhyun” you admitted in a breathless whisper. You were starting to feel foolish, really. “And especially myself. That’s why I don’t think I can take it. I don’t think it’s fair to you. But I’m also not fair to myself. You just mean… too much to me.”

“Too much?” The frown of the man’s face only deepened. “Why is something telling me I should not feel flattered?” A bit of frustration was slipping into his own tone as well.

You let out a deep sigh.

“I started off as your fan, Baekhyun. I thought that with time, it’ll be more… normal. That you’ll feel like a normal person. But somehow it’s not like that. Somehow… it feels like my life is even more about you than it was before. I feel like a creep. Like I’m using you to fulfill a fantasy.”

“Are you?”

“No!” You denied right away, but your voice faltered. “I… don’t know.” You crossed your arms on your chest, fixating your gaze somewhere down below.

To your surprise, Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh. The laughter didn’t feel light and cheerful, like his usual ones – it was heavied with worry, with some sort of underlying agony.

“Okay, let’s talk about this. We need to talk about this.”

His hand reached towards you and he pulled you by your arm, almost throwing you off balance when he pulled you towards the living room, snatching a paper towel on his way and putting it into your still bleeding hand. “You’re right. Do you think I didn’t consider it? That this wouldn’t work out? That it would feel fake? Heck, I talked to so many friends about it, and most of them said it’s not a good idea. But you know what?” He pushed you onto the couch and sat himself on the stool, bringing it close so that your knees almost touched – if only you let yourself relax, they would rest against each other naturally, but you were stiff and trying to almost shrink within yourself. “You know what? I’ve known you for a year. And I could always trust you. You’ve had so many chances to take advantage of me, and you didn’t. So I don’t want to think about how you could – potentially – hurt me. But we need to talk about the other part.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious that…”

“No, no. You’re thinking about what it’s like, for me, to date a fan.” He didn’t even let you finish, but it was as if he could read your mind, already knowing your thought process. “I want you to be honest and tell me what it’s like to date an idol. Because you’re right, you could be using me. But you also said it’s not good for you. And you’re right, because I could be using you, too. So be honest with me and tell me if I ever hurt you.”

So many memories came flooding at once – not of pain, not at all, but of all things that could have led to one tragedy or another. Your whole relationship, like a videotape.

Sure, your relationship was not always perfect. Barely a year has passed. Not long enough to develop a deep understanding of each other, but long enough for many things to happen, to get to know each other at least.

Not all of it was beautiful. There were arguments, some of which almost ended in a breakup. But they made you stronger, that much was undeniable – with each and every single time you almost fell apart, it felt like you knew each other a bit better, knew what things not to do and not to say, but which helped to soothe the atmosphere and help you get back along.

You had one, most important rule in your relationship.

That no matter what happened between the two of you, you would play fair.

That one time he lied to you about being at work while he was not – that one hurt. When you found out he’s not at the office in the first place, you even thought he was cheating. Wouldn’t that be understandable to assume in such a situation? You had every chance to cause a scandal on spot. But you didn’t. You knew that pulling his whole career down because of your relationship wouldn’t be fair. No matter how much it hurt, it was completely out of the equation.

It turned out he was with his friends – he really wanted to go out, but felt bad for not giving you much attention these days. You felt almost pitiful, seeing him crumble in front of you, all worried that you will feel like he doesn’t want you, when he genuinely didn’t have that much time, and it was just one evening with friends. You smacked him in the head for feeling bad about spending time with friends. And he learned that he can be honest with you.

Another time, you were all excited upon his album release. Seeing him on the stage later on made you feel all kinds of things, the way he moved, all the effects, clothing, makeup – all putting emphasis on his heavenly physique, as if you were watching an angel dance. He came back home disheveled, with remains of makeup on his face, but as excited as you were. You would give all of you to him at that exact moment, more than he would ask for, more than you would feel confident to give any other time.

But it was still early in the relationship, and Baekhyun knew that you weren’t ready. That, drunk on him as you were, you could regret it later, even feel disgusted with giving yourself in this easily, that your gentle mind wouldn’t be able to trust yourself with your own body. So he indulged you with kisses here and there, and then gently tucked you into bed, making sure that it all went smoothly, that it didn’t feel anything like a rejection, but a gesture of utmost care.

It took a few more months before you opened yourself to him fully, and he never rushed or reminded you of how eager you were back then. He could have had it all back then, but he decided to wait. That’s how you learned he’s more selfless than you ever even aspired to be.

“You didn’t” you spoke after what felt like ages, to the point you wondered if you even responded to the correct question. “You didn’t… hurt me. Did I ever hurt you?”

“No, you didn’t. You’re just hurting yourself all the time” he mentioned, jokingly motioning towards your hand, which you wiped hastily with the paper towel. “So if nothing bad happened, why the ifs? You realize it’s not going to stop if we just break up?” It was a rhetorical question, and you glanced up at him with a pout, feeling almost schooled by the way he talked. “You believe it’s a matter of just us, but, as much as it sounds ridiculous to say it, it’s all in your head. No matter who you’re with, you’re going to assume the worst. Won’t it be like that? Be honest with yourself.”

You crossed your arms again, feeling defiant for a moment, because his words were almost too much for your ego to take.

But there was some small part of you, somewhere at the edge of your consciousness, that not only knew that he’s correct, but also wanted it to be correct – because if it was just you, then you could learn to maybe keep those pessimistic parasites at bay, and… you wouldn’t have to suffer the loss that, despite weeks of preparation, didn’t feel like any less of a torment and regret that would come, were you to finish things as you originally intended.

All the beliefs, all the dogmas, that you carefully built over the past weeks, were falling apart in front of your eyes, confronted with very simple logic on Baekhyun’s end. You almost felt stupid for letting things get this far without confronting him earlier. Weren’t you the one who demanded honesty? Wasn’t he the one who proved you can trust him with your vulnerability?

“I’m… sorry.”

You felt yourself fall apart as well. Your body slumped down, relaxed knees rested against Baekhyun’s, and he put his hands on top of your thighs, as if in this exact moment, while knowing that he has you with him, he didn’t want to risk losing you again.

“Don’t be for feeling like that, things are never easy, now are they?” Here it was – the signature smile, the warm one that tore through the clouds of the darkest of your days, warm and welcoming. “But I am upset that you held it from me for so long” he whined. With the whine, he finally moved from the stool and onto the couch next to you. His arms shamelessly snuck around you, engulfing you in the close embrace that you knew so well, felt so good within. Partially pulling you into him, and partially leaning into the back of your shoulder, Baekhyun released a long sigh against the skin of your back, warm air slipping underneath your blouse – you missed it. You almost didn’t realize how distant the two of you became, and how long has it been since you felt his body against yours. But now, despite all of that, it felt good, it felt right. As if your souls have never detached from each other.

Maybe there was some form of destiny between the two of you; maybe it was not just a parasocial relationship that evolved into something that could turn dysfunctional so, so easily – maybe it was written in the stars that one way or another, the two of you would find each other, and it just so happened that you spotted him first, from afar, slowly making your way.

How else would the two of you find each other, after all?

Maybe you learned something this time, too. Maybe it wasn’t much, just the beginning of a stronger, even more intimate bond that would last years and years, and light years, and through all your reincarnations, with some of them as pitiful as they could be. Maybe it was just an accident that this time you were in such a position – in another life, would you be a princess, and he be a peasant?

But these were only some other ifs, fun to think about, but not worth spilling your heart over.

In this life, in this universe, you were his, and he was yours. And everything else was just more or less accidental circumstances that brought you closer together.

Only at the back of your head, you wondered if one day, the tale of hopes and stars would fall, and that dream would turn into a nightmare, fueled by your lives’ imbalance and selfishness that neither of you knew in each other.

Maybe you just didn’t have to think about it just yet.

#exo baekhyun #exo fanfiction #exo angst #baekhyun angst #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fanfiction #vg: baekhyun #vg: exo #vg: drabble

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baekguuuuu · 7 days ago

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The Way I Loved You

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s The Way I Loved You. Through flashbacks and present-day reflections, you navigate the highs and lows of both relationships, ultimately confronting what your heart truly wants. A story of passion, longing, and self-discovery, this is a journey of realizing that sometimes, the love that burns the brightest is the one that leaves you scorched.

I met Baekhyun during a summer that I still replay in my mind sometimes, like a sun-drenched film reel I can’t bring myself to burn. It was at a music festival where he’d performed with his band. I wasn’t supposed to be there—my friends had dragged me along, insisting it would be fun that I needed to live a little.

“You’ll love it,” my best friend had said, nudging me toward the front of the crowd as Baekhyun’s band took the stage. She was wrong, though. I didn’t love it.

I fell.

Baekhyun had this way of commanding attention, his voice like honey dripping into the sunlight, thick and golden and impossible to resist. But it wasn’t just his voice; it was the way his eyes sparkled with mischief when he cracked a joke between songs and the way he laughed like the world existed just to amuse him. He was magnetic, and I was the iron.

After the set, I found myself backstage with my friends, courtesy of one’s VIP connections. Baekhyun spotted me immediately as if I’d been glowing in the dark. “Hey,” he said, his voice still hoarse from singing. “Enjoy the show?”

I should’ve played it cool. Instead, I blurted, “You were incredible.”

His grin widened, and he leaned closer, his eyes locking onto mine. “What’s your name?”

Our relationship was a whirlwind, a thrilling ride on the back of his motorcycle, the city lights blurring into a tapestry of excitement. Baekhyun was unlike anyone I’d ever met, a mix of chaos and charm wrapped in leather jackets and calloused fingertips. He made me feel alive in ways that both scared and thrilled me.

We fell fast and hard, like a meteor streaking across the sky—brilliant, unforgettable, and destined to burn out. But I didn’t know that then. All I knew was the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world, the way he made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe, the way he kissed me like it was the only thing that mattered.

Being with Baekhyun was like living in a whirlwind. It was thrilling, unpredictable, and chaotic—sometimes in ways that left me breathless and other times in ways that made my chest ache. We burned bright, but bright flames have a way of leaving marks.

It wasn’t always chaos with Baekhyun. He had a way of being so disarmingly sweet, of pulling me into his world with a smile or a glance. I still remember the night he taught me to play the piano.

We were at his apartment, a modest space cluttered with sheet music and half-empty coffee mugs. He pulled me toward the small upright piano tucked against the wall, a mischievous grin lighting up his face.

“Come here,” he said, patting the bench beside him. “I’m going to teach you something.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “I can barely manage using chopsticks. What makes you think I can learn anything else?”

“Because I’m the best teacher,” he said with mock arrogance, his fingers playing a gentle melody that made my heart skip. “And because I believe in you.”

His words made my cheeks flush, but I sat beside him, letting him place my hands on the keys. His touch was warm, guiding my fingers with patient precision. Every time I fumbled, he’d laugh softly, his voice like a soothing balm.

“You’re getting it,” he said, his eyes sparkling with pride as I managed a simple tune.

When I finally got it right, he turned to me, his face just inches from mine. “See? You’re amazing,” he whispered, his voice low and earnest.

At that moment, the world outside faded away. It was just Baekhyun and me, the music lingering in the air like a promise. And when he leaned in to kiss me, his lips soft and full of affection, I knew I was falling—fast and hard.

It started with the little things. His tendency to cancel plans at the last minute because something more exciting came up. The way he could be so charming with everyone but distant when it was just us. I told myself it was just how he was, that he didn’t mean to hurt me. And when he apologized, when he pulled me close and whispered how much I meant to him, I believed him every time.

I remembered being at a party, one of those gatherings in which Baekhyun always thrived. He stood at the center of the living room, laughing effortlessly, his charm magnetic as everyone gravitated toward him. The way he commanded attention was almost unfair—effortless, natural, like he was born to shine under every light in the room.

I watched him from the couch, holding a half-empty glass of wine and trying not to let the pang of loneliness creep up on me. Baekhyun threw his head back at something someone said, his laugh lighting up the room, and for a moment, I felt that familiar tug in my chest. He was breathtaking like this—untouchable and dazzling.

But then his eyes flickered to me. Just for a second. And instead of warmth or an invitation, there was... nothing.

“Hey,” I called softly when he finally made his way over, his drink in hand. “You having fun?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” he said, his voice distant. His gaze darted around the room, already looking for his next conversation.

“Baekhyun,” I said, reaching for his arm. “Can we talk for a second?”

He frowned, pulling his arm back like my touch burned him. “Now? Can’t it wait? Everyone’s here—I don’t want to kill the mood.”

Everyone was there. The words hit me harder than I wanted to admit.

“It’s just... you’ve barely talked to me all night,” I murmured, keeping my voice low.

His eyes softened, but only briefly. “I’m sorry. You know how I get at these things. I’ll come find you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Later.”

But later never came.

I stayed on the couch, watching him charm the room while feeling more invisible than I ever had. He apologized the next day, and the cycle continued.

The apologies became too frequent, and the moments of closeness felt like borrowed time.

“You said you’d be there, Baekhyun,” I said, my voice trembling as I clutched my phone.

“I forgot, okay?” he replied, his tone dismissive, like forgetting my graduation ceremony for getting my Master’s was no big deal.

“You forgot?” My laugh was bitter. “Do you know how embarrassing it was, standing there alone while everyone else had their families and friends?”

“I didn’t ask you to rely on me for everything!” he shot back.

The line went quiet as I stared at my reflection in the window, his words slicing through me like a blade. Rely on him? Wasn’t that what people in love were supposed to do?

For all the chaos that came with loving Baekhyun, there were moments that made me feel like I was the only person in the world. Like the time he surprised me with a late-night picnic under the stars because I’d mentioned missing the quiet of my childhood summers. Or how he’d rest his head in my lap and trace invisible patterns on my skin, murmuring about how lucky he was to have me.

He had this way of making me feel seen, as though I wasn’t just someone he loved, but someone he adored. Someone he respected. With Baekhyun, it wasn’t just about passion—it was about the way he’d hold my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, or how he’d kiss my forehead as if sealing a promise only he could understand.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he whispered breathlessly as I lay beneath him. He collapsed on top of me, our bare chests touching against one another as we both caught our breaths after expressing love through actions.

He made me feel like a real woman, like I was more than just his girlfriend. Like I was his muse, his equal, and his refuge all at once. And in those moments, I forgot about the fights, the letdowns, the parts of him that hurt me. Because in the way he loved me, I felt whole.

But it wasn’t just the fights. It was the in-betweens. The way he’d light up a room, captivating everyone, only for me to realize I was standing in the shadows. The way he’d make promises that felt so solid in the moment but crumbled under the weight of his restless energy. The way he’d kiss me like I was his whole world, only to turn around and leave me wondering where I stood.

Then came the night that ended it all.

We were standing in the rain, arguing over something I couldn’t even remember now. His face was a mix of frustration and sadness as raindrops traced his sharp features. “Why can’t you just trust me?” he yelled, his voice carrying over the downpour.

“Trust you?” I shot back, my voice cracking. “You disappear for hours, break promises, and you expect me to trust you? You can’t keep doing this, Baekhyun!”

“I’m trying!” he shouted, stepping closer. “I’m trying to be better for you, but it’s never enough, is it?”

I could feel the tears mixing with the rain as I whispered, “I just want to feel like I matter to you. Like I’m not always chasing after you, trying to catch up.”

His silence said more than any words could. And that was the moment I knew. We loved each other but weren’t enough to make it work. Not then.

Although Baekhyun did try to fix it—us… however, it was too late then.

It had been two weeks since we broke up, but Baekhyun still called—persistent, unrelenting, just like the way he loved.

When I answered, his voice was soft, almost hesitant. “Can we talk?”

I hesitated. “Baekhyun, we’ve said everything already. There’s nothing left to talk about.”

“No,” he cut me off, his tone firm. “You talked, and I listened. Now it’s my turn.”

Reluctantly, I agreed to meet him at the café where we used to spend lazy Sunday afternoons. When I arrived, he was already there, sitting by the window with two cups of coffee on the table. He looked up, his expression a mixture of hope and fear, and for a brief moment, my heart clenched.

“I know I messed up,” he began the moment I sat down. “And I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to give me another chance.”

I stared at him, trying to find the anger, the bitterness, anything that would drown out the faint longing I felt just being near him. “Baekhyun, we didn’t work. You know that.”

“I can change,” he said, leaning closer. “I will change. I’ll prove it to you, I swear. Just don’t give up on us.”

I shook my head, my voice trembling. “It’s not just about you needing to change. It’s about me, too. I can’t keep feeling like I’m not enough for you, like I have to keep chasing you to stay in this relationship. It hurts too much.”

His eyes softened, and he reached for my hand, but I pulled away. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Tears stung my eyes, but I forced myself to stand. “I know. But love isn’t enough if we keep hurting each other.”

I left him sitting there, his hand still outstretched, and I didn’t look back.

It wasn’t the last time I saw Baekhyun.

It happened on a crisp evening outside the cozy bistro Chanyeol had picked for dinner. The warm light from the restaurant spilled onto the sidewalk as we stepped out, laughter lingering between us. Chanyeol had his arm around me, casual and protective, as we talked about the movie we planned to watch next.

Then I saw him.

Baekhyun was leaning against his motorcycle, his leather jacket slightly unzipped, revealing a hoodie underneath. His helmet dangled from his fingers, and his eyes, dark and searching, found mine almost instantly.

I froze, my breath catching. He didn’t move closer, didn’t call my name. He simply stood there, his gaze flickering briefly to Chanyeol and back to me.

“Do you know him?” Chanyeol asked, his voice breaking through my trance.

“Yes,” I managed, my voice barely above a whisper. “He’s... Baekhyun.”

Understanding dawned in Chanyeol’s eyes. “Do you want to—?”

“No,” I interrupted, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go.”

But as Chanyeol got his car keys from the valet, I found myself glancing back. Baekhyun was still there, watching us with a calmness that unnerved me.

Later that night, I texted him. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

His reply was immediate. “I didn’t come there to make a scene. I just wanted to see you. I’ll always want to see you.”

My hands trembled as I typed my next message, wanting to leave me alone as I was already with someone. “Chanyeol is everything you’re not. He’s steady, reliable, and perfect in every way.”

His response came after a long pause. “I know. But does he make you happy?”

I stared at the screen, the question echoing louder than I cared to admit.

For weeks after our breakup, Baekhyun had tried. He’d texted me late at night, asking if we could talk, only for me to leave him on read. He’d show up outside my building, waiting in the cold just to catch a glimpse of me, but I’d slip past him with my head down.

At first, I thought he’d never stop. That Baekhyun would always fight for us the way he used to fight for his music. But then, one day, he didn’t. The calls stopped. The texts stopped. The spaces where his presence used to linger felt hauntingly empty.

Chanyeol’s hand rested gently on mine as he drove us back to his place. The radio played softly in the background, something easy and inoffensive. He glanced at me, his smile warm and steady. “You’ve been quiet. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Just tired.”

“Long week, huh?” he said, squeezing my hand.

“Yeah,” I echoed, the word feeling heavy in my mouth. Long, but not in the way he thought.

Chanyeol was perfect. He was everything I thought I wanted. But lately, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing—or rather, someone.

I hated myself for it. For thinking of Baekhyun when Chanyeol was right there, being thoughtful and kind and everything Baekhyun never was. But the heart doesn’t care about logic, decency, or what’s fair. The heart wants what it wants, even when it’s the last thing you need.

Everything in my life was perfect, actually. From the immaculately arranged breakfast trays to the gentle good mornings that greeted me, nothing was ever out of place. Not him, not the way he loved me—kindly, patiently, like I was the most delicate thing in the world.

Chanyeol was different. Steady. Consistent. Reliable in ways Baekhyun never was. He’d show up on time, remember the little things, and genuinely listen when I spoke. He was warm and patient, a safe harbor in the storm that had been my life with Baekhyun.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he wrapped his arm behind me, placing a gentle kiss on my bare shoulder. The sunlight filtering through the curtains felt almost too perfect.

I nodded, offering him a small smile. “I did. Thank you for asking.”

“You know, we could go for a picnic this weekend,” he said, his voice warm and steady. “The weather’s been lovely lately.”

That’s how it always was—planned, predictable, steady. And yet, I found myself drifting off, my mind wandering to a time when nothing about my life was steady. Back to a time when Baekhyun would show up unannounced, his motorcycle roaring in the distance, his grin wide and wild.

“Get on!” he’d yell, not even giving me time to protest. The wind whipping through my hair as we sped through the streets had been chaos—unrestrained, untamed, exhilarating chaos.

“Does that sound good?” Chanyeol’s voice pulled me back to the present.

“Sorry, what?” I asked, blinking at him.

He chuckled softly. “The picnic. This Saturday?”

“Oh. Yes, that sounds… nice.”

When we started dating, I thought I’d found what I’d been missing. He made me feel cared for, and valued in a way I’d longed for during my time with Baekhyun. My friends were ecstatic when I told them about Chanyeol.

“He’s so perfect for you,” they’d say, their eyes glinting with approval. Even my parents, who were always wary of the guys I dated, took an instant liking to him. They adored his polite manners, his steady career, and the way he treated me with respect.

“He’s everything we could have hoped for you,” my mom had gushed over dinner one night, her smile so wide it hurt to look at.

But there was one thing he couldn’t do: he couldn’t make my heart race the way Baekhyun did.

It wasn’t fair to compare them, but my mind did it anyway. Chanyeol’s hugs were warm, but they didn’t leave me dizzy. His kisses were soft and sweet but didn’t set my skin on fire. His laughter was kind but didn’t echo in my chest like Baekhyun’s.

“You okay?” Chanyeol asked, noticing the faraway look in my eyes.

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Nothing important,” I lied. How could I tell him what I was thinking about Baekhyun? How much did I miss the chaos, the fire, and the way he made me feel alive even when he was breaking my heart?

Chanyeol nudged my upper body so I could face him. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear; his thumb never left the skin of my cheek.

“You’re perfect, you know that?”

The words from him should have made my heart soar. His voice was calm, steady, full of certainty—the kind I’d spent years craving. But instead of feeling weightless, I felt heavy, like every part of me was tied to something I couldn’t quite see.

“Thank you,” I murmured, my smile politely measured. He deserved that much.

I knew very well that Chanyeol deserved someone who could give him more than vague responses and distant smiles—someone who could love him the way he loved me—with unwavering calm and clarity. But my heart, stupid and stubborn as it was, still ached for something else. Someone else.

It happened on a quiet afternoon. Chanyeol and I were at his apartment, sorting through takeout boxes while a soft playlist played in the background. He was humming along, his warm, familiar presence filling the room.

I should’ve been content. Happy, even. But as I watched him move around with practiced ease, I felt a strange hollowness creeping in—a sense that something essential was missing.

The second I turned my head, the ghost of Baekhyun’s laughter crashed into me like a wave. Loud. Chaotic. Carefree. And all at once, I was drowning again, swallowed whole by the memory of him.

The weight of my realization grew heavier with every passing day. Pretending that everything was fine with Chanyeol felt like suffocating under the mask I wore. I wanted to be fair to him, to not let my heart wander when he had done nothing but love me. But the truth was, I wasn’t entirely his, and I never had been.

It hit me one quiet evening while Chanyeol and I were watching a movie. He had his arm around me, his steady presence a comfort I knew I didn’t deserve.

I’d sworn I wanted stability, but stability felt like numbness. And as I sat there, nestled in Chanyeol’s embrace, I realized I didn’t feel anything close to what I used to feel for Baekhyun. Not even a shadow of it.

Chanyeol turned to me with a small smile as we sat on his couch. “You’ve been quiet. What’s on your mind?”

I hesitated, not knowing how to explain the chaos swirling in my head. “Just... thinking about life.”

“Anything specific?” he asked gently, his hand resting on mine.

And that’s when it hit me—how much I missed Baekhyun.

I missed his fire, his unpredictability, the way he could make me feel like I was the center of his chaotic universe. I missed how he could pull me into his orbit with just one look, how his laughter could chase away the darkest clouds. I missed him, even with all his flaws, because loving Baekhyun was like standing in the middle of a storm and feeling more alive than ever.

Chanyeol was perfect in every way, but he wasn’t Baekhyun. He couldn’t make my heart race or my world tilt on its axis. And I realized then, with painful clarity, that I was holding on to Chanyeol because he was safe, not because he was the one I wanted.

He deserved someone who could love him wholeheartedly, and I hated myself for not being that person.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, pulling my hand away.

“For what?” Chanyeol asked, concern etched on his face.

“For not being honest with you. For trying to force something that was never going to work.”

His expression faltered, and I felt a pang of guilt, but I couldn’t stay silent anymore. “I care about you, Chanyeol. But my heart... it’s not here. It’s with someone else.”

“I want you to be happy,” he said, his voice steady despite the pain in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, guilt threatening to swallow me whole.

“Don’t be,” he said, smiling sadly. “Sometimes, love isn’t about who’s perfect on paper. It’s about who makes your heart feel full.”

That night, I lay awake, staring at the ceiling. The pieces fell into place one by one, each more damning than the last. I didn’t want stability. I wanted fire, chaos, the kind of love that consumed you even when it hurt. I wanted Baekhyun.

One evening, I found myself standing outside Baekhyun’s apartment. It had been months since I’d last seen him, months since we had parted ways under the rain, months since the last time he tried to reach out. Yet, the thought of facing him again made my pulse race and my hands tremble.

When he opened the door, his expression shifted from surprise to something softer, almost vulnerable. “You shouldn’t be here,” he said, his voice low.

“I know,” I whispered. “But I needed to see you.”

He stepped aside to let me in, his movements hesitant. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with something unidentifiable in the air, grounding me and making my heart ache.

“So, what’s this about?” he asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed defensively.

“I…” My words faltered. I had rehearsed this moment in my head countless times, yet now that I was here, I didn’t know where to begin.

“You’re with Chanyeol,” he said, filling the silence. His tone wasn’t accusatory, but it wasn’t neutral either. “He’s good for you.”

“I ended it,” I admitted, my voice cracking. “He’s not you.”

His sharp intake of breath echoed in the small space between us. “You can’t do this,” he said, shaking his head. “You can’t just come back and say things like that. You made it clear you wanted me out of your life.”

“I know it’s selfish,” I replied, stepping closer. “But I had to tell you the truth. I thought I wanted stability, someone who could give me the kind of love that didn’t hurt. But Baekhyun, nothing compares to what we had.”

“What we had nearly destroyed us,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “Do you think I’ve forgotten how much we hurt each other?”

“I was scared,” I whispered. “Scared of going back to the way things were. Of us hurting each other again.”

I swallowed hard, tears welling in my eyes. “But I also remember the way you made me feel, like I was alive in a way I’ve never felt since. You were my fire, Baekhyun, and I don’t think I can live without that.”

He looked away, his jaw clenching as he processed my words. “You’re asking me to take a risk again. To go back to something we’ve already proved doesn’t work.”

“Baekhyun… I’m asking you to try,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Because I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

For a moment, the silence between us was deafening. Then, he closed the distance between us in two quick strides, his hands cupping my face as he pressed his lips to mine. It wasn’t the soft, tentative kiss of someone testing the waters. It was raw, desperate, and full of all the emotions we’d kept bottled up for far too long.

When he pulled away, his forehead rested against mine. “If we do this again,” he said, his voice trembling, “we do it right. No more games, no more breaking each other’s hearts.”

I nodded, tears streaming down my face. “No more games.”

The space between us disappeared as he stepped forward, his hands cupping my face. His touch was tentative, as though he was afraid I might disappear. “I’ll do better this time,” he whispered. “I promise.”

I smiled through the tears that blurred my vision. “I know you will.”

His lips met mine, soft and tentative at first, as if he was afraid I might disappear. But as I kissed him back, all the walls I’d built crumbled, and the love I’d tried to bury came rushing back like a tidal wave.

The chaos, the fire, the love—it was all still there, waiting for us to embrace it. Together.

It wasn’t easy, and there were times when I questioned if we were doing the right thing. But for every doubt, there was a moment that reminded me why I chose him. The way he held my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. The way he’d look at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, his gaze full of unspoken emotions. The way he made me laugh, even on my worst days.

One rainy afternoon, as we sat on the couch, Baekhyun was strumming his guitar while I hummed along to the melody, and I realized something. Love didn’t have to be flawless to be worth fighting for. It just had to be real. And with Baekhyun, it always was.

His fingers paused on the strings, and he looked at me with that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “You’re off-key,” he teased, leaning closer.

I swatted his arm, laughing. “You’re off-rhythm.”

“Touché,” he said, setting the guitar down and pulling me into his lap. “But admit it, you missed my genius.”

Rolling my eyes, I rested my head against his shoulder, listening to the rain patter against the windows. These quiet moments felt different now—gentler, softer, like we’d found the balance we used to lack.

I couldn’t help the giggle escaping my lips when I felt his fingers crawl from my knee to my inner thigh. “Seriously?” I clicked my tongue, giving him a playful glare. “Last night was not enough?”

“Never,” Baekhyun trailed kisses from my jaw to my neck; his fingers started to undo the knot of my shorts. “I can never get enough of you.”

We’d both changed in the months since we found our way back to each other. Baekhyun still had his restless energy and still liked to push boundaries, but now he made an effort to include me in his world. And I learned to trust him again, little by little, realizing that love didn’t mean perfection—it meant showing up, trying, and forgiving.

“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Did you know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me?”

I tilted my head to look at him, my heart swelling at the sincerity in his gaze, trying so hard to focus on his words and not on his touches at the moment. “I think I’m finally starting to believe you.”

“You should,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss on my lips and laying me down on the soft cushion of the couch. “Because I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it.”

We weren’t perfect—no relationship ever is. But we were learning, growing, and most importantly, choosing each other every single day.

For the first time, I felt like we were enough.

And just like that, the chaos returned. However, this time, it felt like home.

#baekhyun #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun imagine #exo #exo smut #exo imagines #exo fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #exo scenarios

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idkwhatthisisfuck · 1 month ago

Text

I know you don’t…

Pairing: Baekhyun x OC

Warnings: none

In which OC has inferiority complex and a toxic mindset.

“I know you don’t like expensive things but look what I got you,” Baekhyun mumbles against her skin softly. She looks over her shoulder and squints at the older male as he cranes his neck to fish out something underneath his pillow.

Before she can see the mysterious gift Baekhyun has gotten for her, she catches the mischievous glint in his eyes, just as usual. Like the old times.

And then there was a silver watch. Undoubtedly, from one of those high-end luxury watch brands. Damn, people with money be spending a fortune to invest on something, something like a watch knowing well they could also use digital devices like phones for it nowadays. Is that supposed to be a reminder that no matter how long she’s been lifted up by Baekhyun in terms of living standards, her roots would never change.

“Baek—”

“Shush,” he leans in, sucking softly at her bottom lip. “I know what you’re gonna say. But you’re not working at the diner anymore now, are you? You’re a corporate girl now. There’s nothing wrong with you showing off a little bit. And you’re my girl. My person for me to spend my money on. And you deserve it all. You deserve all the luxury’s in the world. I’m not gonna let those thoughts get to your head, you hear me?”

She wants to laugh. Those thoughts. Baekhyun, you have no idea. The way he said “Those thoughts”— as if he knows she’ll never fucking measure up.

Golden boy Baekhyun saved his low-class wife from going through living hell, working seven days in a week for a minimum wage, living paycheck to paycheck with zero savings for her future. She should be grateful for that. Right?

Baekhyun I want to wait until my car’s paid off. The look on Baekhyun’s face was nothing but comical. These kinds of people… they have enough in their lives to not have gone through how harsh it could go out there being born without privilege.

I mean— I- I could help you with that now. He had said that time.

And here they are.

Tears that probably won’t see the light of the day well up behind her lids. She can’t crumble. Not in front of him. But every time Baekhyun comes up with stuff like this, she feels her ego falling apart. Like a bitch slap that rubs in her face to remind she’s still nothing. No matter how many gold and glitters Baekhyun adorns her with, she will never be more than a person who never fits in. In fact, she dulls the gold and goodness. She looks at the watch sitting still on his palm. And then she looks at Baekhyun, who is watching, who likes to study every little expression her face makes. Baekhyun probably is someone who has the biggest heart she knows in life. Why can’t she learn anything from him? Maybe if she was born privileged, she would be a decent person like him too.

With a trembling hand and a heavy heart, she takes the million-dollar-worth watch out of his hand. “Thank you, Baekhyun. I love it so much.” With that, she plants a soft kiss on his lips.

She tries to force out a smile. Baekhyun beams. In that moment, the things she sees in Baekhyun’s eyes are love, adoration and sincerity. Unlike someone else when they pretend to be happy. Baekhyun’s eyes have always been genuine, endearing and so full of life. Baekhyun never pretends. Baekhyun never half-asses a smile, or a compliment.

She can’t lie the fact that the way his soft eyes keep darting down to her lips is sending her brain and heart to overdrive. She doesn’t dislike being tied down to him. It’s just that…

“Tell me you love me then.”

Her throat closes. Does she?

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Do I really?

#baekhyun #baekhyun au #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fic #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x oc #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun romance #exo baekhyun #exo #baekhyun story

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jongbross · 1 year ago

Note

hi again and sorry for more request 😭 suddenly it came to my mind. could you write a married couple, baekhyun is 7-8 years older than her (if it's okay for you- and of course legal) and she wants a baby so bad but, baek is not ready or not want because of his wife. his wife has already graduated and he worries about her. but two of them have a big fight because of misunderstanding. some sad tears and hugs please! (You can write one of them for two request) thank you so much! 💓

pairing: byun baekhyun x reader word count: 1086 genre: angst with a happy ending warnings: arguing, mentions of pregnancy, tears, baekhyun trying to be a good husband but failing (depends on your point of view though) a/n: the angst we wanted to badly!!!!! thanks for requesting <3

it was breaking his heart to see you like that. baekhyun could see your tears falling from your eyes, arms protectively wrapped around your body, hugging your stomach.

it's not that he didn't want a baby - he wanted it, so badly. just... not now.

baekhyun already had to live with that tiny little feeling of guilt, as he always thought he had stolen your youth. he was much older than you when you two started to date and, even though it was legal, he knew that part of him was wrong for wanting you.

you were young, in the glory of your 20 years; he was an adult already, turning 28 and thinking about what he wanted for the future. you had so much to live yet, people to kiss, drinks to try, places to go; he already had a good career, had already collected some heartbreaks, and knew exactly how he liked his whiskey.

it was kind of selfish of him, baekhyun always thought. how he loved you so much and wanted you to grow and live and experience things, but how he still couldn't let you go, because he needed you and craved for you like he never did with anyone else.

when you got into college, baekhyun promised himself that he would be the best husband - he would support you, but also give you enough space to live that part of your life. and he did, you know? from taking you to bed at 2am because you were still trying to finish that project, to getting up at 3am because you got drunk at a college party. he did his best, stayed beside you through it all, and was there to applaud you when you graduated, years after.

he wanted a baby with you. god only knows how many nights he went to sleep picturing both of you having a family together, living happily ever after. but gosh, he was doing fine in allowing you to live, how could he agree to having a baby when you just started the career you wanted so much?

"is it...", you tried to speak, but had to take a moment. "is it because my body will change?"

"what?"

"because, you know... i'm not a little girl anymore. my body has already changed so much from when we started dating, but if this is the problem, then..."

"y/n, please", baekhyun's soft voice stopped you. "it has nothing to do with you. believe me when i say that it's not about you."

"then it's about who? us? you don't love me anymore?"

baekhyun sighed, heart breaking just at the mere mention of those words.

"it hurts me that you could even consider that..."

"then tell me the reason!", you said, this time a bit louder, emotion getting the best of you and tears still filling your eyes. "because i've dedicated my whole life to you, and i truly want to keep doing that and making both of our dreams of becoming parents come true. so why won't you let me?"

"exactly because of that", he said, defeated. "because you already did way too much for me. you took care of me, you loved me, held me when i was sick, when i was sad... you did everything when you should be out, living your life while you're young, not here with me. and i'm so grateful for that, please don't ever get me wrong - i love you so, so much it hurts, and i wish i could give you the world in return for all you did. and i feel like i can finally give you at least half of it now, as you're finally working where you've always wanted and being happy. i can't ask you to put that aside now just because i wanna be a dad... i-i just can't."

when baekhyun finally took a deep breath, his tears also started to fall. he had told you before, about the guilt he carried all these years, and you knew it would never pass - no matter how much you tried to reassure him.

"you get so blind trying to protect me sometimes, that you forget to ask me what i want", you mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

getting up from the couch, you walked over to where he was, sitting down on the floor in front of him. baekhyun tried his best not to look at you, as he knew he would lose everything the moment he did - all his composure, all the feelings he was still trying to hold back.

you knew your husband, so you just went as far as laying your head on his knee, eyes focused on his face even though he was probably counting how many books you two had on the shelf as a way to not burst into tears.

"i chose to live with you. i was young, yeah, but i knew what i was doing", you began. "and i've never, ever regretted that choice, not even once. because the love you have for me is exactly like the love i have for you, baek. we're what, 8 years into our relationship now? and i'll never get tired of reminding you that. i love you, i always will. i appreciate the way you try to take care of me, but even though i'm younger than you, i know what i'm doing. so if i say i can have a baby now, then it's because i truly do."

baekhyun closed his eyes for a second, and through his beautiful lashes, more tears fell.

"but what about..."

"don't worry about my job", it was your time to stop him. "i have everything figured out, and i know it's the perfect time for us to try. you were the one who taught me how to be organized and how to make plans. have some faith in me, love..."

"i do", he opened his eyes to look at yours. "i trust you with my life."

"then let's try. let's become parents, put a little baby into this world as a way to tell everyone how much we love each other."

like a baby himself, baekhyun pouted and, suddenly, he crumbled in front of you, crying and sobbing. you quickly got up, sitting on his lap and pulling him in for a hug.

"i love you", baekhyun whispered to you.

"i love you so much", you whispered back. "there's no one in this world i would rather make my dreams come true with."

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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make it work | byun baekhyun

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 idol!baekhyun x nonidol!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 1.6 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, romance | jealousy, argument, happy ending

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angsty?, fluffy

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 none

requested by a lovely butterfly anon 🦋 thank you so much for your request and sorry for the long wait!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

I have to be happy for him, I have to be happy for him, I have to be happy for him…

No matter how many times I repeated that sentence in my mind, it was still hard to actually feel that way. Although I prided myself in not being a jealous person, seeing him surrounded by the prettiest dancers in the industry was taking a toll on my own confidence.

Because I was not an idol like Baekhyun, it was difficult to cope with the pressure that dating one brought. Life as a simple office worker had minor complications in comparison to his highly exposed job, but I had never doubted about being with him ever since I met him. The way he had always treated me like he was just a man in love with a woman reassured me every time.

Our outings were limited. His schedule was different every day, and I had to adjust. It never mattered to me, though. Being with him for a short time was much more precious than what any other guy could have offered.

However, after a year and a half of relationship, I was starting to long for something more than just seeing him at night and sleeping wrapped up in his arms. I needed the dates, the mornings, the family reunions, and the sense that we were building something together.

And now, seeing his brand new comeback stage, smiling at his female dancers and moving along with their body rolls like he couldn’t stop himself from wanting them, I had had enough. How was it that they got to have him more than I did? Why didn’t he choose to date one of them instead? They were far more gorgeous than I could ever be!

Just as I blocked my phone and threw it out of sight, a very tired Baekhyun opened the bedroom door, placing his bag on the floor.

“Hey, love” His unanswered greeting made him frown, and with a sigh, he approached me from his side of the bed “What’s wrong, babe?”

“Had fun with your dancers?”

The confusion in his eyes was evident even for me, but I just could not care less at that point. He had to know why I was upset.

“What do you mean?”

“You seemed pretty happy in your stage today”

“I was” he nodded, still not getting the point “So what?”

“I guess you liked being with your dancers”

Realization hit him like a truck, but he just sat there, frozen in his spot. I had to look at him to make sure he was still awake because his stillness was starting to bother me.

“I can’t believe you’re jealous”

One thing was to admit it to myself, but hearing it coming from Baekhyun was more embarrassing than I thought. Despite this, I was still mad and hurt. My feelings were real, and something had triggered them. He had triggered them.

“They are doing their job. I am doing my job” he turned to face me, surprise written all over his features, and I could not hold my tears any longer. He didn’t understand. He was too focused on his work to even notice how badly I was longing for him.

“I no longer feel you want me, Baekhyun” I mumbled, not caring about the tears that endlessly ran down my cheeks. He had to see my pain.

“That’s nonsense, y/n” he tried to hug me, but I didn’t let him. I couldn’t just allow him to embrace me and settle with it. Knowing myself, I was going to accept whatever lame excuse he gave if I was being held by his strong arms. “Please, let’s not argue this late”

“And when do you want to argue, then?” Standing up, I looked at him dead in the eye “When do you have time to even argue with me? You are too busy to realize how dead our relationship is, Baekhyun”

“You really think that’s where we are standing?” his hands gripped his hair, taking it out of his face in the process.

“Yes”

He prompted himself up off the bed and made his way around it to stand in front of me. “I have little saying on how much I work, or with whom I work. I wish it was easier, love. I wish I could be with you every waking hour, every day for the rest of our lives-”

“But there’s nothing you can or will do about it” I interrupted him, knowing that his saying it would wound me ten times more than admitting it myself.

“That’s how it is, at least for now” he nodded, interlacing his fingers with mine in an attempt to gain me back.

“You do realize that you spend more time with your dancers than you do with me?” I left his fingers gripping the air as I stepped back to retrieve my pillow.

“So all of this is just because you’re jealous” he gave a bitter laugh and followed me with his eyes.

“Read it as you like, Baekhyun.” As I was about to open the door of our room, he stopped me, screaming my name.

“You don’t have to be jealous. I love you and only you. I am sorry that you feel this way about us, but I really do not see how to make it better when the company presses me to do more and more each day.”

Although his struggles were to be expected, my own were too overwhelming and tangible to not let them cloud my judgment. I was upset. It felt like I was about to lose him — and that made my heart ache with grief as if had already happened.

“That is not what I wanted to hear from you. At least not the last part”

“What do you want me to say then, huh?” When his tone rose, I knew I had to leave the room. He had become angry at me, and it was evident that we were getting nowhere that night.

“Sleep on it”

Even though my back was never a problem for me, sleeping on the couch was starting to challenge that. No one had ever used it for those purposes, and being the first one to do it settled that it was not made for more than just sitting there for a couple of hours. Yawning my way out of the silky covers, I opened my eyes to see Baekhyun, sitting on the single sofa chair right next to where my feet had rested during the night. He was fast asleep, his head resting on his hand, elbow pressed onto the chair’s armrest.

With a quick glance at the clock, I stood up and shook him awake “You’re late”

“Called in sick” he yawned, slowly opening his eyes.

“Are you?” I raised an eyebrow, reaching out to touch his forehead.

“No” Taking my hand from his forehead to his cheek, he looked up from his seating position and kissed the back of my hand “Can we talk now?”

The emotions that had dissipated overnight reappeared, making my eyes fill with tears once again. I nodded. Baekhyun took my wrist and pushed me to sit on his lap, his arms around my waist as he slowly caressed my exposed skin with his thumbs.

“I am truly sorry about yesterday, and all of the days I made you feel less important than you are. Truth is, it was the first time you showed jealousy and I didn’t know how to handle it. I just thought your emotions were leading your words and you were saying things to hurt my feelings as well. But I slept on it and…” A small laugh escaped my lips and I nodded to let him go on “and I saw where you were coming from.”

“We never see each other, Baek” I cried, emotions taking over once more.

“I was so focused on my work that it was enough having you waiting for me in bed every night. I am so sorry, my darling” Taking his hands from my hips to my cheeks, he wiped away the tears that kept rolling down “I am making some adjustments in my schedule and will make sure to spend more time with you every day of the week. I don’t care what the agency has to say about it. I am famous enough to set some boundaries without them dropping me from the label.”

“They need you more than you need them, baby” I giggled, feeling the contentedness filling my heart, once and for all.

“You’re right” he smiled, cupping my face with his hands. “I love you”

“I love you”

His lips met mine in what felt like years. We had not shared a meaningful kiss for a very long time, so I let myself enjoy it with every fiber of my being.

Pecking my lips in between each word, he announced “I will take you on a date today”

“And what if they see us?” I frowned, combing his hair with my fingers. Oh my, how nice it felt to have him all for myself after such a long time. “You won’t look very sick if we’re out eating and goofing around. Your fans… I don’t know how they would react knowing you didn’t do your interviews but are kissing me instead”

“Are our disguises still in the closet?” he asked, making me chuckle. He truly thought he could fool them with those outfits.

“You mean our trench coats, masks, and stylish beanies?”

“I prefer to call them disguises” he giggled, attacking my face with wet kisses.

If life with Baekhyun was going to look like this for the rest of our lives, I couldn’t wait.

#exo #exo baekhyun #baekhyun #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x you #baekhyun x y/n #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #baekhyun angst #exo scenarios #exo writing #fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop imagine #exo writer

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writemekpop · 2 years ago

Text

Idol Spotlight | Byun Baekhyun

🌻 - Fluff ☔️ - Angst 💋 - Smut

1. Pop Rocks, Strawberry, Bubblegum Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 🌻

Summary: You meet cute single dad Baekhyun at the candy shop where you work. Sparks fly, and you realise that your life is about to get a lot sweeter.

Genre: Single Dad AU

2. Come Back to Bed 💋

Summary: After cheating breaks your marriage apart, your therapist instructs you to share a bed with Baekhyun. There’s no trust… but there sure is lust.

Genre: Husband!Baekhyun, angst, smut, bed sharing

3. Get You Alone 💋

Summary: The doctor clears you for sex after having a baby. Baekhyun can’t wait to get started - but you’re having second thoughts.

Genre: Husband!Baekhyun, New Parents

4. Baby Daddy 🌻

Summary: You’re really nervous about telling your idol boyfriend Baekhyun that you’re pregnant. So, you decide to get creative. Only, things don’t go the way you expect…

Genre: Fluff

+ MAIN MASTERLIST+

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starillusion13 · 1 year ago

Text

Bambi

Pairing: Baekhyun x f! reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere, Dark Fantasy

Warnings: Stalking, possessiveness, restraining acts with chains, knife and blood, obsessive behaviors.

W.C: 3.1k

Note: Thanks for joining the event. thanks to the ones enjoying my works and your reviews are always appreciated and feel free to interact with me.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Request from @anyamaris

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin

⛓️

*under the cut*

“I will be home soon.” Walking through the streets late at night is a relief to you to get some peace and air of comfort. The bell sounds brings your attention towards a house and suddenly a train moves past through the tracks alongside the road. You got startled and your wide eyes looks around to see if anybody noticed you in that situation.

No one is around you, you sigh in relief and went towards your home, putting the phone in your pocket.

A smile appears in shadows. A gloved hand adjusted the hat on top of head to hide the face properly. The shadowed figure whispered,

“My Bambi.”

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

“Uh….”

Waking up in a dark room filled with the scents of different flowers; all of your favourite. The essence of these variety flowers is making your drowsy state more helpless. You can’t remember what happened to you before being in such a state.

“Help me…”

Rubbing your eyes, you realized that the room has dim light sources from the only candles placed on various light stands all around the room. You tried to sit up when you found yourself on a floor which is so shiny as if you are laying on a mirror because it can perfectly reflect your presence on it. Leaning sideways and balancing your weight on two hands, your attempt to sit on the floor is a success. Lifting up one of your hands to remove the hairs falling over your face to tug them behind your ears earned a groan of pain from you. Your hands feeling so heavy that caused your wrist to ache and then you found the cause for the happening. Hands are tied up in chains connected to the chains tying up your leg, the other end of the chain is getting dispersed into the dark corner of the room.

“Why am I tied with chains? Who even tied me up?”

Thinking hard to remember what happened to you in last moments.

Several memories popped up starting from morning when you found a letter and a bouquet at the front door like everyday. You were giggling to the sweet words and the praises written all over the letter, the sender ended the letter with a signature which can be read as BAMBI. You were sure it is from your boyfriend, the boy you are dating for last six months. Oh! He is such a sweetheart, his love for you is more than you have ever wanted from someone.

The memories flash forward to the evening when you were returning from a long day of work to your apartment to finally take rest. You were on a call with someone maybe your boyfriend when a figure with all in black came up to you suddenly. You didn’t hear anyone coming in that lonely road then how come this person is suddenly standing before you. Face was hidden due to the black panama hat and the extended hand towards you was covered with tight black leather gloves. The person was in all black attire maybe that was only possible for you to recognise because in that dark street with insufficient light to distinguish colors that was only how you could recognise it.

“What?....”

your head is aching with all these memories flashing on. Now the worst part is that you can’t remember what happen after that scene. You are trying hard to think, the headache causing you to close your eyes in pain. Your breathing is heavy and your whole body is paining. Your hands are not enough strong to keep your balance for any longer. No. You have to be strong, you need to figure out how to escape this place wherever you are and then you can think later about what could have possibly happened to you.

After three times of breathing practices, your panic settles down. Being in somewhat a little bit stable state, you looked around the place. The room is really dark, only the places where the candle lights can reach to is lit and visible, where the rest are mysteriously dark. You can feel that you are situated in the middle of a room, to your front there is a black curtain hanging from the ceiling covering the whole wall only leaving the sides for two very old vintage closets on either side to be palced. On your two sides, the walls have different kinds of hanging candle holders and various shelves and tables with things decorated on top of them which are barely visible. Turning your head to take a look of your back, its too dark that side and your chains are ending to that side.

You pulled the chains to see if the other end is fixed or not and to your dismay the action made loud jiggling sounds of the chains which echoed in the dark room.

“Haha…ha ha ha…” a laugh followed the sound of chains. Your eyes flash fear and a shiver run down your body on realizing that there is one more presence inside the room. So, all your actions till now were observed by someone and you didn’t know of it. This made you feel cautious and your hands automatically braced yourself and you pulled your knees inwards to your chest, sitting now facing the direction of the voice. The chains moving in a rhythm as if someone on the other side is playing with them. Heavy footsteps approaching you which made you close your eyes for not having the courage to face what is coming next.

Again, the person laughed, totally mocking your current state. You can hear a lot of chain sounds and ‘click’, something gets locked. The person’s voice is now much closer than before and so in the effect, your heart is racing too fast that it might burst out and cause an explosion then and there.

“Open your eyes my love.”

He is near you. Wait. He is totally in front of you, you can hear the footsteps stopped near you. The voice belongs to a man and your ears are blessed to hear such a smooth and honey like voice, even calling out for you. Slowly you parted your eyelids, revealing your glossy eyes to the man.

Is this real? Is this man real? The smile is so heavenly, no doubt that voice came out from these pretty lips. Oh no wait. This attire and the hat, your eyes scanning all over the figure in front of you and on realization you tried to scoot back. The chains didn’t help your attempt.

“Who are you?”

The man chuckled. Why is everything funny to this man? He has now sitter himself on his folded knees and one hand checking whether the chains are tied tightly or not, your eyes followed the chain and there is the other end locked in a hook on the wall. The other hand on his side seems like he is holding something.

“Why am I here?”

You are getting impatient to hear his explanation to keep you here like this even in this condition. He scoots near to you when his other hand revealed holding a shiny object. No no no. That’s a knife. Is he going to kill you?

“Are you going to kill me?” your voice is cracking in fear.

“My baby is so impatient.” He chuckled. The voice is so sweet and it can really hipnotis someone including you.

“I’m not your baby.”

He is literally keeping you like an animal who needs to be tamed and then also calling you with nicknames.

“You are being a bad girl again love.” Your eyes falling where he is playing with the knife, candle lights falling on the knife reflecting your fear in the room of mysterious dark.

“Stop with your names. Tell me who are you. Why am I here even tied up like this?” You are literally shouting at this point. Tears coming out in a flow and you are jerking your hands and legs to atleast get rid of those restraints.

“Oh. We can go slowly. One question at a time.”

He stands up in his position and now you are getting his overall look. He is wearing a black fedora coat with matching pant and a white shirt inside with a black tie visible perfectly in middle. His face is still hidden, if only it was not hidden then you could have tried to recognize this person.

Suddenly, the chandelier above you lit up and now the room is a bit more visible to you except the man’s face.

“Can you guess my name love?” He is smiling at you. Walking over to his previous place near you.

Glancing at the knife in his hand, you gulped and replied “……no”.

“Oh!” he pouts at you. “I am Baekhyun but you can call me candy.” He laughed at his own words.

“Baek-baekhyun?” you are trying to think if you have heard this name before or even have encountered someone who goes by this name.

“Thanks love. I like the short name. Call me Baek if you want.” You glared at him. In one of the corners situated a small brown couch, he walked with quiet footsteps over there and sat down with cross legs.

“What am I doing here?”

“You are safe here.”

“I don’t need any safety when I was already safe in first place.”

“No. Bad people are all out there. They will take you away from me.”

“What are you even saying?”

He suddenly stood up. Slow steps nearing your weak frame on the floor. Looking around for any object to throw at him which can at least hurt him and prevent him to approach you. In his way, he took off his hat and placed it on top of the table at the side of the couch. Revealing his beautiful face with jet black hairs and flawless baby face. His look is ethereal to belong to a criminal like him. His eyes seem like holding two diamonds in each hole with his precious smile resting on his face.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

“You are keeping me tied up here without any particular reason and you are telling me not to fear you. Also, holding a damn knife in your hand.” Your teary eyes looking up at his face.

You pleaded, “Please let me go.”

“Bambi……my only Bambi…… my love.” He is getting lost in your eyes, in your glossy eyes which seems like the brightest star to him right now. Always.

Bambi? This. You have heard this before. Oh wait! Those flowers. Those letters. Those Candies.

“You…you…he…letters….” He grins widely when you mentioned about letters.

“Did you like them? Oh yes of course. The way you always giggle when reading them and one hand busy eating those candies. Thanks for always decorating those flowers at the places I like them the most.”

You are shocked to know this truth. All this time you thought that those are all given by your boyfriend and he didn’t ever mention it because maybe he wants to keep it like that. But you were totally wrong, that was him, the man standing before you.

“How do you know?”

“I can’t miss to see you even when you are home.”

“What the……”

“Hell? I am from there. Thank you. Fuck? Well maybe we can but later.” He is scooting near to you to come face to face with you.

“Go away. Let me go. Don’t come near to me.”

“I can’t do that when you are my favorite person.” His hands tracing your face, eyes admiring your face. Brushing your hairs away to take a better look at your beauty. His other hand brings up the knife and traced over your cheeks which cuts you a bit.

“I don’t want to be your favorite person. You are a psycho.” You shouted at him.

“You are so precious baby even your shouts sound like a melody to me.”

Jerking your body so much causing pain to shoot over to your hands and legs, this effects to cause deep purple marks over the skin near the tied-up places.

Blood flowing down your cheek and the cold knife placed on your other cheek cutting similarly as before. He is still smiling while looking at you. You are silently sobbing with eyes shut tightly and hoping someone to rescue you from here.

“The day I locked my eyes with you at the café. I knew, I have to keep this bambi eyes all to myself. The owner of these starry eyes should be kept in a safe place.” Blood oozing out of the cut is getting mixed with the tears falling from your eyes. Wiping the blood with one finger, he brings it near his eyes and admires it.

“Doesn’t this look like a melted Ruby. The stars falling from your eyes and the red velvety liquid from your skin mixing together to form this ruby.” Your eyes slowly open to respond him. Your cheeks are burning and your nails are digging on the shiny floor.

“Please, it hurts.”

“It hurts me too.” He stopped smiling and put the knife aside. “It hurts me too when I see you smiling without me, when I am not the cause of your precious smile. It hurts when you are laughing at something when I can give more things which can be funnier. It hurts me when you are holding hands with someone and that’s not me. IT HURTS EVERYTIME WHEN THE THINGS WHICH ARE KEEPING YOU HAPPY IS NOT ME.” He shouts in the end of the sentence.

Your sobs become audible on the impact of the shout and noticing it, he pulls you in a hug and caressing your back and hairs. The smell of his cologne is so soothing and it’s giving you comfort but this is literally wrong, it should not be so comforting when coming from a criminal, moreover a psycho.

“it’s okay love. I will not shout at you. It’s okay, don’t cry.” These words causing you to cry more because you are missing your boyfriend.

“I want to go home. Please……”

“But this is your home.” He said softly, placing a kiss on your head.

“No……. I want to go back to my own life where I can be all by myself and with him.”

“Him?” He holds you tighter before releasing to grip your forearms to make you face him.

“There is no him. You are my Bambi, my one and only precious Bambi and you love candies the most so I am your Candy.” He is having an evil glint in his eyes but quickly returns back to his soft appearance.

“No, I’m Y/N. I’m not your Bambi.”

“You are so funny my love.” He puts a hand inside the pocket of his coat to bring out a handkerchief and wipes your tears and blood. He gives you his little smile and put away the hanky aside. Again, repeating the previous action but now took out some different kinds of your favorite candies and chocolates. Your lost eyes and confused mind staring at him as to why out of so many other girls, he chose you when you just look like an ordinary girl beside other girls who are way more beautiful.

“Why me? I’m not that special.”

He chuckles at you while looking down at the candies. Bringing up the hand to pat your cheeks, he leans forward to kiss your forehead. He sits on the floor before you facing the curtained wall and pulls you on his lap with your back leaning to his chest. Held in an unknown man’s embrace, who is also the one keeping you captive makes you stiff in your place.

“You know, why have I kept the room dark?” silently and slowly you move your head side to side.

“Look at your reflection on the floor because of the candle lights. Its looking so nice. The bright lights will not allow me to admire your beauty like the way these candle lights with dim effects reflecting your beauty. I want your beauty to be the brightest light in this room and your eyes “, holding chin, he makes you face him. He is bending a bit forward, he smiles at you, “Your eyes to be the brightest star.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“To keep you safe of course. Trust me I can be the best person to you forever.”

“I don’t even know you and also you don’t know me then how can you expect me to trust you?”

“Oh love, I know you a lot more than you can ever imagine.” His other hand sliding up and down your forearms and side frames. This giving you chills all over your body.

Hand holding your chin moves to his other pocket to bring out a small remote and when he clicks it. The curtains covering the wall move aside and you look over there. Your eyes go wide in shock when realizing what’s on that wall.

Your pictures, every picture showing all types of your emotions. Pictures including of you practicing a dance cover of your favorite group, slipping on the floor, crying on the sofa while watching a drama to the ones where you are wearing your favorite dress and going to work, eating ice cream, going to date with your boyfriend but only you in the frame. There is countless of pictues which you yourself can’t even recall from where they are. You felt a kiss on top of your head.

“Do you like it?”

“How? This can’t be real.”

He chuckles, “This is very real.”

“No……..”

He turns your face towards him to take a look of your shocked eyes. He waited a bit before speaking up, “You know why you are my Bambi?”

“……”

“A deer when comes near to a car in front of the headlights, their eyes, those Bambi eyes look the brightest gem under the dark sky.”

Cupping your face in his hands, he places a soft kiss on your quivering lips, “You look exactly like that deer. Every night when I had followed you in shadows, under those street lights whenever you were afraid, those Bambi eyes looked the brightest star. They looked like mine to keep safe.”

He placed a candy inside your mouth. On realization, you wanted to throw it but he closed your mouth with pressing his palm over your lips tightly. Your eyes looked in fear towards him. He kissed your head and smiling adorably at you. Your heavy eyes slowly closing while staring at his smiling lips, the first thing of this man you noticed back then.

“Sleep my love, My Bambi.”

[Expected something horny? Nah nah nah. Let it be like this.]

145 notes · View notes

bobohu4eva · 5 months ago

Text

Golden

Part 1/2

Characters: Reader x Baekhyun

Genre: College AU, Baekhyun as an adorable art student and campus heartthrob, shy OC, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, angst, eventual smut

WC: 8.3k

Warnings: Harassment, alcohol consumption

Masterlist

The streets of Seoul set your mind ablaze in all their bright, manicured chaos.

It had been three years since your first time in the city, but again it sucked you right in without as much as a glimpse of hesitation. Not unlike you with a bowl of your favorite ramyun.

The American midwest had its charms, if you looked hard enough, but your eyes were getting tired. The city had always been more your speed, and Seoul was, in your mind, the absolute best there was. When the opportunity finally came to spend your last year of college at Korea University you eagerly took it.

No matter the area, the time of day, or one's specific interests, there was always a good chance that something uniquely enticing was just around the corner, waiting to be discovered. Getting bored wasn’t an option, even for those who might crave it every now and then.

Patience, like boredom, was not on the menu in Seoul either. Ppalli-ppalli is what they call it, ‘quickly-quickly, the culture that drives the city to cater perfectly to the needs of those as antsy, or really just anxious, as yourself. It’s hard to overthink for hours when there is so much constantly changing and happening around you, demanding your attention. You found that profoundly comforting.

Independence had always been a strength of yours, so the first several weeks flew by, but by the third week, and then the fourth, even you got a little lonely.

After a few years studying the language, your Korean was decent. Passable. But fluent, you were not. Ordering in restaurants, reading directions and street signs, that was no problem, but having to make any kind of meaningful conversation was humbling, to say the least.

It was a relief to finally get a roommate, Heejin, another senior at the university. She was thrilled to practice her English with you, and you your Korean with her.

Before you knew it the semester was starting, and right on your first day of classes, you noticed him. Surrounded by a large group of friends all laughing together, he was at the center in all his beauty.

It would be hard not to notice him, really, given his clothing. They were unusually colorful, in contrast to the muted neutrals most Koreans favor, and were often dotted with what looked like paint stains, mainly shades of yellow and gold. In the crowded lecture hall, he was a sliver of sunlight against the sea of black, brown, and gray.

He wore round glasses, which framed kind, puppy-like eyes the color of your favorite chocolate. The dark curls of his hair were perfectly fluffy, and his lips perfectly pink. Moles and freckles decorated his nose and cheeks generously.

You struggled not to stare. He was just so pretty. Especially when you saw him smile. Just the sight of him laughing at a joke you hadn’t even heard, brought a smile to your face.

He was shining, glowing, radiating so much warmth you’d blissfully forgotten the still looming chill of early spring.

“That’s Baekhyun, he’s a studio arts major, pretty much every girl I know has a crush on him. I get it, though, he is super cute, he seems really nice, too, though I don’t really know him myself.” Heejin told you, when you asked about him that same evening.

Against your better judgment, or any rational thought, really, you let yourself be drawn to him, taking your seat the next day in the row directly in front of his. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help it, listening in on him and his friends' conversations before class started. He was whitty, charming, and effortlessly funny, though he never made jokes at anyone else’s expense, like his friends did. He seemed like a genuinely sweet guy, just like your roommate had said. And basically every girl on campus saw it too, along with how devastatingly cute he was.

Despite feeling relatively confident in the subject matter of all your classes, you still did your best to fade into the background and avoid being called on by the professors. Trying to sound smart and confident wasn’t something your Korean skills (or still slightly fragile psyche) were up to yet.

But as fate would have it, you couldn’t avoid talking in class forever. At the end of the second week, during your last class of the day, you were called on to answer something pretty simple, yet you still ended up stumbling over your words, sounding awkward at best.

You easily picked up on the snide comments and snickers coming from the girls behind you. Back home you would’ve thrown her a mean side eye at the very least, but now you just kept your head down. Making enemies so early on here couldn’t be a good idea. Not only that, but you knew Baekhyun would be witness to all of it.

��Sumin, it took you three tries to pass elementary English, talking about someone else’s language skills is wild.”

His voice was just as lovely as the rest of him, so you didn’t even have to turn around to be sure who’d said it, but you still did. There was a small reassuring smile on his lips, and a pout on hers. He’d said it so casually, like it was nothing, but it definitely meant a hell of a lot to you.

She was gorgeous, and you’d wondered in the past if there was something going on between them. But Baekhyun didn't appear all that impressed with her, at least not the way she clearly was with him.

You kept replaying it in your mind, until finally class was over, and you headed quickly towards the door, worried you’d be hearing more rude comments.

“Hey! Y/n, right?”

“Huh?” Too shocked to fully react, you spun around to see him walking straight towards you.

“I’m Baekhyun, sorry about my friend earlier. You’re an exchange student, right?” His English was nearly perfect, the slight accent he had making him sound even more endearing.

“Yeah… Thank you, by the way. How do you know my name?”

“Well, you do kind of stand out. In a good way though.”

He was grinning, looking gorgeous as ever, even in a simple red tshirt and jeans, dotted with the usual colorful specks of paint. Now that he was standing so close to you, you got a good idea of how tall he was, and although he wasn’t the biggest, most muscular guy you’d ever seen, his shoulders were surprisingly broad, and his arms looked sturdy. As your eyes stayed glued to his form, your mind wandered off, thinking about how lovely it must feel to get a hug from him.

It occurred to you then that he must’ve asked someone about you, the same way you’d asked about him.

“I do?” You asked, starting to make your way towards the building’s exit.

“Well, yeah, there are other foreigners going here too of course, but I’m sure most of them don’t get as much attention as you.”

You blushed, not wanting to read into it too deeply, but you wondered if that was his way of telling you that he thought you were cute.

“I don’t know about that…”

“So, where are you headed now?” He asked, holding the door as you both left the building.

“Back to my dorm, that was my last class of the day.”

“Same, can I walk with you?”

“Sure, it’s a little far though.”

He shrugged, “I don't mind.”

As he accompanied you across campus, you couldn’t help but wonder why he was being so nice. He seemed like a nice person, of course, but he didn’t know you at all. You weren’t even an artsy type like he was.

“You’re an art student, right? Is that why some of your clothes have paint on them?”

He nodded, a big beautiful smile on his face. “My favorite is oil paints, and they stain like crazy so now I just let it happen, I kinda like the way it looks.”

“I like it too.”

“Yeah? Maybe I could paint on your clothes too sometime.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t think I could pull it off.”

“What? Of course you could, if I can then you definitely can.” He teased, swaying slightly as he took his next step, letting his shoulder brush your own.

It was troublingly easy for him to make you blush, and you hoped he didn’t notice just how flustered he was making you, without even really doing anything.

“What about you? What's your major?”

“International business, I've wanted to move here for years, and that major was recommended to me for this exchange program.”

“Well, I'm glad you finally made it.” He grinned, warm and lovely, and if you hadn’t known better, you might’ve thought that he was flirting with you. “You're from America, right?”

You nodded.

“What made you want to move to Korea?”

“My favorite professor back in the states was Korean, she told me that she thought I would do well here, and introduced me to the culture, the language, all of it. I eventually came here for a week-long spring break thing, and ended up liking it a lot.”

Even from the outer echelons of your gaze, his smile was still bright as ever, those beautiful kind eyes fixated on you with intent. You couldn’t look back at him, not yet, your fragile heart needed time. He wondered why the architecture of the surrounding buildings suddenly became of such keen interest to you.

“What about you? Why art?”

He shrugged, “I've always been the creative type, ever since I was a kid. I can’t really imagine doing anything else at this point.”

“I'd love to see some of your work, if you'd be willing to show me.”

“Of course!” His face lit up even more, somehow, and he immediately pulled out his phone, opening up a photo album of his recent projects and handing it to you.

You assumed he’d be pretty good just based on how popular he was, but when you got a good look at some of his work, it stopped you dead in your tracks. You froze, swiping through some of the pictures, speechless.

“Do you like them?”

You let out a short laugh, more in disbelief than anything else. “Are you kidding? These are amazing, you’re so talented.”

Most of his paintings were dreamlike scenes bathed in yellow and gold, bright shapes and colors coming through in the most beautiful ways, creating so much atmosphere and movement, even just through the screen of his phone. They all depicted people, mostly women, just going about their normal lives, but the colorful and abstract nature of his style made it all so much more alluring to look at. Without a doubt, he had a real gift.

He just shrugged, “I do my best.”

You were a little disappointed to reach your dorm so soon, and have to tell him goodbye, though he assured you he would see you in class. For the first time, you actually looked forward to it, the promise of seeing him and his wonderful smile again making all of your previous uncertainty melt into comparative irrelevance.

When the next class period came around, you’d expected to hear him sit down behind you with the rest of his friends. You did hear his friends sit down, talking among themselves, but he walked right past them, sitting down next to you instead.

He started asking you about the homework, totally casual, and you had to act like you weren’t internally screaming the entire time. You acted as normal as you could, all the while feeling Sumin’s eyes like sharpened pencils stabbing into the back of your skull.

Eventually class started, and that took your mind off things at least a little, but as soon as the professor dismissed everyone Baekhyun was once again asking if he could walk you home, and of course, you agreed.

An awkward silence filled the air as you tried to find something to talk about, but just having him there next to you made you so embarrassingly shy, you could hardly think straight. As he held the door for you, that disgustingly sweet fluttering sensation filled your belly, and while familiar, you’d never experienced it to such a degree.

“Do you have a favorite painter?” You eventually blurted out. It was the first thing that came to mind, and to your relief, he seemed excited to answer.

“Yeah! I mean, there are a ton that I love, but the one I’m most inspired by in my own work is Gustav Klimt, the way he combines art nouveau, with more classical and Japanese influences, it's so cool. I try to do something similar, but with a more Korean flair. He was really controversial during his time too, but he didn’t care and just did what he liked anyway.”

“Why was he controversial?”

“Well…” He cleared his throat, and you swore, for a second, it looked like he was blushing. For once, he wasn’t looking at you, seemingly avoiding eye contact himself. “Many of his really famous pieces are of women, usually without clothes on. There’s a lot of symbolism around sexuality and eroticism, so early 20th century Austria labeled his work as pornographic.”

“Oh?”

“Well it was the 1910’s!” He replied, maybe a little too quickly, “One rogue boob was enough to thoroughly scandalize them, you know what I mean, right?”

You smiled, comforted by the fact that he actually seemed to be the one getting flustered now. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Different time.”

“He was ahead of his time, for sure. That's one of the things I love about him and his work.”

He just kept gushing about the different pieces he liked best, showing them to you on his phone, talking about the different motifs and what it was about them that he loved. It was so sweet, his enthusiasm for it, and you took it all in happily.

You could listen to him talk about art all day long. You could see the sparkle in his eyes, the passion and excitement he had for it, and you were almost jealous of him, that he was so great at something that he loved so much. Sadly though, you soon made it back to your dorm again. However this time, when you turned to start walking up the steps, he stopped you.

“Wait, um, if you wouldn’t mind, could I get your number?”

You stared back at him for a minute, happy but surprised, before nodding. He handed you his phone and you added your contact, heart beating rapidly, trying your best not to look as excited as you felt.

When you reached your room, you saw the first text from him, one of the paintings he’d shown you. It was the same colorful yet overwhelmingly golden color scheme you’d seen in his own work, and depicted a man kissing a woman on the cheek. The racing of your heart took several minutes to return to a more normal pace.

As the semester went on, he always sat with you, and always walked you home. It took you another few weeks to really start opening up to him, but as you gradually did, his kind and warm demeanor made you feel at ease. He asked you about your family, your hobbies, whatever he could to get to know you better. You told him about your love for music, your favorite artists, and he always listened intently. He’d check out songs you recommended, and singers he’d never heard of, seeming as eager as you to get to meet again and discuss them more in depth.

Even as you talked to him about more personal matters, he never made you feel judged, always keeping an open heart and mind. That was another thing about him that you grew to admire.

You loved Seoul, and Korean culture, but learned that people could be more judgemental, and on the basis of quite superficial matters. Not only that, but these judgements were perfectly acceptable to express, adding an extra layer of pressure to everyday life. Baekhyun, however, didn’t partake in any of it.

Despite how attractive, popular, and as you came to learn, wealthy, he was, he never talked down to anyone. Jokes of that sort, that were normal to basically all of his friends, he wouldn’t react to, noticing the way he’d steer the conversation away from such topics when they came up.

He was accepting of everyone, regardless of their status, appearance, or various other factors. He was friends with basically everyone, too. As he’d walk with you he would always be greeting people left and right, giving everyone a smile and a friendly wave, never once ignoring someone or showing any condescension. He was just good.

His kindness, as lovely as it was, unfortunately also made you realize how not special you were to him. It was simply in his nature to be kind, even to those who might not deserve it, or could get the wrong idea. It was obvious how many girls had crushes on him, and though it never contained any malicious intent, he flirted with basically all of them. It was just part of his good nature. When he could tell someone liked him, he liked to make them happy. He never purposely misled anyone, or got their hopes up, but you still saw it happen time and time again. He would compliment a girl, and she would get all flustered, just like you had, wondering if maybe he really did like her, only to be disappointed when he did the same to her friend. If he wasn’t such a goddamn sweetheart he probably would've been labeled a playboy long ago, but everyone could clearly see that he wasn’t like that. Sleeping around wasn’t something he seemed to do either, though he definitely could’ve if he wanted to.

All of that being said, you still fell hard for him. It felt silly, being so infatuated and getting so flustered around him due to his sweet words, knowing that there wasn’t anything special about the way he treated you. He was that sweet to all of the girls, and you couldn’t even be mad at him for it, so you learned to hide how you felt. At least you wouldn’t end up looking like a fool that way.

Walking to class in the mornings always felt like such a chore, especially ever since Baekhyun had started to accompany you on your way back home everyday. You missed his company, and it was usually still quite cold, too, something you hated. Getting to listen to music uninterrupted was the only part that brought you some solace.

One morning was particularly stressful for you, having overslept the day before an exam, already late to the very necessary hour of studying you’d planned before going to your first class.

You were walking quicker than usual, headphones on, focused on making it to the library. However none of that seemed to deter the guy who started walking alongside you, now talking at you, motioning for you to take your headphones off.

Annoyed as you were, you didn’t want to be rude either. You took off the headphones, telling him, “Sorry, I’m kind of in a hurry.”

He didn’t seem to care, and when you started putting your headphones back on, he grabbed them from you.

You stared at him, clearly pissed off and in slight disbelief, but still, he just kept walking, now uncomfortably close to you. “I’m Jaeyong. I’ve seen you around, you’re really pretty. My dad basically owns this whole place, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” You tried to take your headphones back, but he kept them out of reach.

You’d seen him around campus too, surrounded by a posse of other rich kids, though they weren’t the kind Baekhyun associated with, and it was easy to see why. You immediately had a bad feeling about the guy.

“Can I get your number? We should go out sometime, I only date foreign girls. You guys are way less stuck up than the girls here, more open minded.”

Oh lord. You’d been warned about guys like him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Come on, don’t be a bitch. At least give me your number.”

You ignored what he said, trying again to get ahold of your headphones, and he still refused to give them back.

“You’d be lucky to go on a date with someone like me, you know.”

“Sorry, but I’m not interested. Can I please get my headphones back now?”

“What? You have a boyfriend or something?”

He’d been following you long enough that you were already in front of the library, and you really didn’t want him to follow you inside. For your own sanity, but also to spare the other students the annoyance, knowing he likely still wouldn’t shut up.

Unfortunately when you didn’t go inside, he ended up backing you up to the side of the building, blocking you into a corner.

“You can get your headphones back if you agree to go on a date with me.” His face was so close to your own you could smell his breath, turning away from him, refusing to respond. “Come on Y/n. You know you want to.”

The greasy smirk on his face made you feel sick. You didn’t remember ever giving him your name.

“I really need to go study.”

“I said, don’t be a bitch. It would be really stupid of you to reject me.” He spat, a jarring change in his tone.

He was no longer smiling, either, clearly getting frustrated with you. Fear started to take over, and you decided you could get new headphones later, you just needed to get away. You tried to get past him, but his hand on your shoulder shoved you against the side of the building roughly, painfully, and panic quickly set in, tears forming in your eyes. He didn’t even seem to care that there were other people around, clearly confident nobody would bother to stop him.

He was talking again, and you could hear the malice in his voice, though you were too scared to even really tell what he was saying anymore, cheeks now wet, repeating again and again to please just leave you alone. Your shoulder ached, still being held against the brick wall hard enough that you knew it would bruise.

Your eyes were squeezed shut, shaking your head, and suddenly the hand on your shoulder was gone. You collapsed to the ground, only vaguely aware of the voices around you.

There was a cacophony of “Leave her alone”, “Mind your business”, “Fuck off”, and more coming from only a few feet away but you just sat slumped against the wall, wishing it would all go away.

The sudden touch from a pair of hands taking hold of your own made you jump. You finally opened your eyes again, and to your great relief, it wasn't the guy who’d been bothering you, it was Baekhyun.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

A pair of concerned eyes met your own, feeling his thumbs as they softly ran across the backs of your hands. You stared back at him, dumbfounded, too stunned to speak. He was crouched down in front of you where you still sat against the wall, the other man nowhere to be seen.

“Please say something.”

“I- I don’t know.”

You didn’t notice, but Baekhyun grew increasingly aware of the people starting to gather around. His grip on your hands tightened and he pulled you back up to your feet, disappearing into the library with you. He made his way into the first empty study room he could find, his hand still firmly holding your own.

Now that you knew you were actually safe the adrenaline finally began to wear off. Baekhyun pulled out a chair for you to sit, so you did, and he soon followed. He moved so he was facing you instead of the table, and you tried to do the same, but when you braced yourself against the table and put even the slightest pressure on it, pain shot up towards your shoulder, making you wince.

He caught on right away, moving your chair for you.

“Are you hurt?”

Embarrassment slowly took hold now that you’d come to realize the gravity of the situation. As much as you didn’t want him to worry about you, you knew you couldn’t just lie, either.

“It isn’t too bad, I’ll be okay.” You were avoiding his eyes, growing more and more shy by the second. “You should get to class, I need to study anyway.”

“What?”

The softness and confusion in his voice pierced through your heart, even with only that one word. He was moving closer, and you hadn't even realized that you were still crying, not until his thumb began to gently wipe your tears away.

You were painfully aware of the rapid increase in your heart rate, as well as the redness spreading across your cheeks. He was so close now, his hands delicate on your face, looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes swimming with unease, still so worried about you.

His eyes moved to your shoulder, and his hand to the collar of your sweater.

“Can I..?”

You nodded, turning that side of your body towards him, and he slowly moved the fabric aside.

Seeing how his eyes widened, you looked down, and saw the blue and purple bruises for yourself.

“You are hurt. Let's get you to a nurse.” He said as he stood, but you stayed seated.

“Baekhyun, it's ok, I can go by myself later, you don't have to do all this.”

“Yeah, I do. I want to help.” He said, and held out his hand, beckoning you to get up and go with him. His eyes met yours, holding your gaze with intent. You couldn’t say no to him, not when he looked at you like that. His hand was warm when you finally took it, gratefully accepting his kindness, bashful as you were.

His hand stayed holding yours the entire way to the health services building. It wasn't far, but you still noticed the looks you got, especially from other girls.

You assumed that Baekhyun would leave for class once he dropped you off, but he didn't. He took a seat with you as you waited for your name to be called, and soon enough, you were being led down the hallway, with him still by your side.

“Sorry, your boyfriend can't come in the room with you.” Said the nurse, and you and Baekhyun exchanged nervous glances, though neither said anything to correct her..

He sat himself down in a nearby chair to wait, and you followed the nurse into the room. When you returned, he still wore that same nervous expression, asking, “How bad is it?”

His sweetness brought a long overdue smile to your face. “Not bad.” You said, and pulled your sweater aside to show him the tape and bandages. “No heavy lifting for a few weeks, and I should try not to move it too much, but nothing serious.”

Finally, you saw him ease up a bit, showing you a small smile as well. “Can I walk you to class?”

You nodded, and he was once again by your side as you headed across campus, though this time without his hand holding yours. As much as you tried to deny it, you missed the feeling. Once or twice you felt his hand brush up against your own, and you wondered if he was thinking the same thing, but you knew you shouldn’t get caught up in those kinds of thoughts.

“I don’t want to intrude, but if you’d like- I mean, if it would make you feel more comfortable, I could walk with you in the mornings, too, and between classes.”

As he said it his eyes were fixed on his hands, fidgeting with a ring he had on.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you late, or be a bother.”

“It’s no problem at all! Really, I think I would also feel better, just knowing that you’re safe.”

“Oh..I would like that, yeah.” You found yourself looking down at the pavement, blushing, mind once again wandering off, the sickly sweet feeling fluttering within you. When you turned onto a larger road, you didn’t miss the way his hand gently took hold of your good shoulder, positioning himself between you and the street.

You went on to text him your class schedule, and he happily agreed to walk with you wherever you needed to go, though you still found it hard to believe that he wouldn’t end up making himself late as a result. He seemed so happy to do it, though, you didn’t question him any further. When you thought about the very real possibility of running into Jaeyong again, you were grateful you’d have Baekhyun by your side.

He waved you goodbye when you got to class, and when it was over he was in the same spot, already waiting for you.

It went on like that for the rest of the day, with him being his usual wonderful self. You could tell that he was trying his best to brighten your day after it started so badly, and you appreciated it more than you could put into words. During your last class, he was joking around more than usual, complimenting you more, making you smile every chance he got. When it was finally time to say goodbye for the day back at your dorm, you didn’t want to let him go.

The next morning, true to his word, he was there waiting for you when you walked outside. Instead of heading towards campus, though, he insisted you sit down on the closest bench, “I have a surprise for you.” He said.

You played along, sitting down, following his directions to cover your eyes. He seemed to rummage around in his backpack for a minute, then set something down on your lap.

He gently took hold of your wrists, moving your hands aside, and you finally got a good look at the surprise he’d prepared.

It was a pair of headphones. The same model you’d had, but the newest version. Your old pair had been expensive enough, you almost couldn’t believe that he actually spent the money on a replacement.

“Do you like it? I tried to get your old pair back yesterday, but that asshole broke them.”

As much as you wanted to fight him and insist it was too much, he looked so excited, the smile on his beautiful face so pure, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You grinned back at him, standing up to throw your arms around him without a second thought. The way he hugged you back was just as amazing as you’d always imagined it would be. He was warm, his chest and arms firm in the most comforting way, and even the way he smelled was addictive. His embrace was nothing short of perfect, and it took everything in you not to whine when it inevitably came to an end.

“Thank you.”

“I know how much you love music, so I figured a nice pair of headphones would be pretty important to you.”

“It is, this is so sweet, I don’t even know what to say.”

He grinned, a teasing look on his face, “I wouldn’t mind another hug, if that’s easier.”

Your smile told him more than enough. This time, he was the one to pull you in, and he held you even tighter, letting the embrace linger for a moment longer. You put the headphones in your backpack, and started walking to class.

“You know I think that's the first time I've ever heard you call someone an asshole.”

“Well he really, really is.” He laughed. “I couldn't stand him even before he did all that. It's not the first time he's done that kind of thing either, but nobody ever stops him since his family donates a ton of money to the university and is on the board of directors.”

“That's awful..”

“Yeah he's the worst. How's your shoulder?”

“It only hurts if I put pressure on it or move it wrong, it’s really not too bad.”

You didn't have the heart to tell him that it did kind of hurt when he hugged you, but you'd happily deal with the slight discomfort of it, if it meant you'd get to do it more often.

He seemed to catch on anyway, only lightly holding onto your good side when you got to class and he told you goodbye. You wondered if he'd been thinking about holding you the same way you had been for weeks, now that he seemed so keen on it.

Every time he was sweet to you, you felt yourself falling for him even harder. Just walking with him was enough to turn you into a giddy mess, gradually falling in love with every little part of him. Whenever you felt especially shy, you would ask him about different art projects he was working on and he would show you, going on and on about what inspired it, the different motifs and themes. His voice always calmed you down after a little while, but by then, you'd usually be home or at your next class.

For days you thought about inviting him over, telling yourself you'd finally just do it, but always chickening out at the last minute. With how he treated you, you started to think that if he was alone with you, he might actually make a move. Maybe.

It wasn't until the end of midterms that you finally worked up the courage to invite him in.

He asked what you were up to that evening, as he usually would, and you told him that you were just going to study for the exam the next day, in the class you shared with him.

“Me too.” He said, looking at you with an expression you couldn't quite read as you got to the entrance of your dorm.

There was a moment of awkward silence as you both stood there, not yet wanting to let him leave, and it seemed to you that he didn't want that either.

He moved closer, about to hug you goodbye when your hand landed on his shoulder.

“Wait-”

He froze, swallowing, glancing nervously at the door.

“If you’re just gonna study tonight too, would you want to maybe come inside and study together?”

You braced yourself for the rejection, already dreading the excuse he would make, so it came as a surprise when he showed you a big dazzling grin.

“That sounds great, sure.”

You didn't miss Heejins face when he walked through the door with you, raising her eyebrows suggestively with a grin on her lips as soon as his back was turned.

“Baekhyun, this is my roommate Heejin.”

He smiled and greeted her, and you knew she'd be bombarding you with questions as soon as he was gone again.

You led him to your room, getting out your textbook and settling in on your bed, with him right next to you.

Part of you hoped that he wouldn't be all that keen on actually studying and you'd be able to just talk and hang out. Maybe, he would even make a move. Unfortunately though, he really did want to study.

Even as you both studied in silence, he somehow still managed to make the room feel far hotter than it realistically was. You felt his eyes on you more often than seemed normal, and a few times you'd looked back up at him, but he'd always quickly returned his attention to his textbook. He kept inching closer to you as well, every brush of his shoulder or thigh against your own increasing your heart rate.

You probably stole a few too many glances at him too, but he just kept drawing you in. Every detail of his face looked so kissable, your mind drifted away from your class work, wishing he was in your bed as more than just a friend.

Every time he would turn a page his hands caught your attention. The mole on his thumb was so cute, you thought, just another part of him you found yourself becoming obsessed with.

Hours went by in what felt like minutes, and when you both started yawning, you decided to call it a night. He hugged you again before leaving, only holding onto the side that wasn’t hurt.

You were proud of yourself for actually taking the initiative and inviting him in. The way he’d kept looking up from the textbook at you, more often than felt normal, kept replaying in your mind. As much as you didn’t want to fall victim to his charm only to be disappointed later, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he really did like you the same way you liked him.

You couldn’t get him out of your head as you got ready for bed that night, and even as you tried to go to sleep, his soft smiles and the way his thigh brushed against your own consumed your thoughts. Your mind wandered off, wondering how he’d react if you made some kind of move on him, though you knew you’d never actually have the confidence to do so. The idea of him reciprocating any of it, kissing you, touching you, almost seemed like it would be worth it. However the possibility of rejection, of losing his friendship, was still too scary for you to consider it.

It was well past midnight when you finally started dozing off, but the sound of your phone pulled you back to reality. For a second you considered just ignoring it until morning, but something inside told you not to. It must've been intuition, because when you did look, it turned out to be a text from him.

Are you awake?

You replied pretty much right away,

Yeah, why?

Can I call?

Sure

Fuck. Before you even had the chance to properly freak out, his caller ID was flashing across the screen. You picked up.

“Hi, y/n. Sorry to call so late, I can't sleep.”

“No worries, is everything okay?”

“Yeah.. I think I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Oh…”

“Is that weird to say?”

“No! I mean, you could call me at any ungodly hour and I'd probably still pick up, to be honest.”

The words slipped out before you had any real chance to think about what you were saying, and true as it was, you were still grateful he wasn't there to see how hard you were blushing.

“Really? That's awfully tempting… I might end up keeping you up a lot, though. Heejin’s gonna hate me.”

You laughed as quietly as you could, “She has her own bedroom, she'll be fine.”

“Thank you again, by the way, for inviting me in today.”

Your cheeks ached with how hard you were smiling, staring up at your ceiling with the phone pressed to your ear.

“It's nice to have some company. I always get so distracted when I try to study by myself.”

“Well, if I hadn't put it off for so long I probably would've just talked the whole time. I don't know if I'm really a good study partner, but if you want company again just let me know.”

“Well next time don't procrastinate so much, dummy.”

“So you're cool with me distracting you?” You could hear it in his voice, the way he grinned as he said it.

“Maybe a little..”

A brief pause.

“Did you have a boyfriend, back in America?”

The sudden question caught you off guard.

“No.. why?”

“Just wondering, I guess… I mean that must be hard, right? Having all your loved ones so far away.”

You wondered if you should tell him, but decide it would be best to just be honest.

“Okay that wasn’t entirely true. I was seeing someone, but he wasn’t a boyfriend and I knew I wanted to move here, so I ended it. I do miss my family and friends, but I still talk to them basically every day.”

“What about when you graduate? Are you gonna move back?”

“No,” You giggled, amused with how concerned he sounded, “Hopefully not, I like it here.”

“Thank god”

“Why? Would you miss me?”

He was quiet for a moment, dropping the teasing tone and answering with surprising tenderness.

“Of course I would miss you.”

“Oh.. I would miss you too.”

“Awww, cute.” You could practically see the shit-eating grin on his face.

“Baekhyun!”

“What?”

“You can be such a little shit, you know that?”

“How am I a little shit?!” He gasped, though even over the phone, you could tell he was just being his usual dramatic self.

“You get a kick out of fucking with me!”

“I wasn’t fucking with you! I just genuinely think it's cute that you would miss me, that’s all.”

“You can’t tell, but I’m rolling my eyes.”

“What? I’m not allowed to think you’re cute?”

There was a long pause, and you considered if you should really believe him. It wasn’t that you thought he was being dishonest, you just didn’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.

“Baek…”

“What?” His voice was once again soft, bringing with it a tightness in your chest.

“Nothing.. It’s just late, I guess, I’m pretty tired.”

For a while he was quiet. You would’ve given anything to know what was going through his head right then.

“You’re right.. I’ll let you get some sleep. I’m glad you were still up when I texted you. Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight.”

As much as it pained you to hang up, inevitably staying up much much later now that he’d given you so much to think about, his flirting just wasn’t something you knew how to handle. Even if he really did like you, why didn’t he say something more than just playful flirting? It would be a dream if he actually confessed to you, but it was exactly that; just a dream. That was clear enough considering how openly he flirted with other girls around you.

The next week he was his usual friendly self, walking with you, joking around, though you felt he’d pulled back a bit on the flirting. Part of you was relieved, since it turned you into a blubbering mess, but of course you also missed it.

He did still keep calling you though, often late at night, when he said he couldn’t sleep. A few times, you’d both even passed out with the call still ongoing. He told you that talking to you calmed him down, and once, he’d even said that he wished you were there with him. You’d laid awake nearly all night, wondering how he’d meant it. Did he just want company? Did he hate sleeping alone? Or did he also want something more than just friendship with you? Either way, until he said something more concrete, you wouldn’t be the one to ask.

It was during one of those late night phone calls that he invited you to a friend's birthday party. It was at a popular club near the university, and at first you weren’t going to attend, but he managed to talk you into it. After all, he would be there. Alcohol and music also meant dancing, and the possibility of dancing with him was enough to ensure that you’d be there too.

He wasn’t able to walk you, since he had to help set everything up, so you ended up going alone. Which wasn’t a big deal, in theory, but as someone who’d always been on the more anxious side, it still made you uneasy. Seoul was very safe, that wasn't the problem, it was what would happen once you got there that worried you. Baekhyun was your only friend there. You didn’t want to be a bother and hang onto him all night, since the rest of the guests were basically strangers to you.

When the time came you wore your favorite outfit, and stepped into the subway towards Hongdae with all the confidence you could muster.

You arrived a little later than the time he’d told you, not wanting to seem overly eager, and to your relief he already seemed to be waiting for you. When he pulled you in for a hug it was tighter than usual, and the smell of tequila on him was pronounced. You quickly took a shot with him, wondering how many he’d already downed prior to your arrival.

The club was still relatively empty, but that didn’t seem to bother Baekhyun as he pulled you towards the dance floor. You protested, and he pouted.

“I don’t really dance, at least not when I’m this sober.”

Seconds later another shot of tequila was pressed into your palm, and Baekhyun clinked his glass to yours, spilling a little, before you downed them in unison. Before you knew it, he had you on the dance floor.

It was your first real night out in Seoul, and it left you every bit as breathless as you’d expected. Now happily drunk, you danced with him, back pressed to his chest, both his hands on your hips.

Any worries you’d had about the amount of alcohol being consumed were long forgotten. You just let the music guide you, swimming in the euphoria of his hands on you and the closeness of your bodies.

When his warmth behind you disappeared, you spun around to search for him. Without him as an anchor, everything became far more overwhelming. There were more people now, the crowded space growing warmer, almost suffocating, until he burst through with a grin on his gorgeous face and two cups of water in his hands.

You hadn’t even realized how dearly you needed it until he’d appeared, grateful to drink something other than tequila. When one of your favorite songs began, and you beamed at him, and he beamed back at you even brighter. He remembered, of course he did. He knew all of your favorite music, because you’d told him so much about it.

Now as you danced, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. His hands gripped your waist, and your arms were slung around his neck, swaying to the familiar beat, getting lost in the drunken haze of it all. You realized then that he was staring at you just as intensely as you stared at him.

This is what it’s all about, you thought to yourself. Letting go completely, enjoying the music you love, and sharing it all with your favorite person. His smile shone so brightly, and you mirrored it, unable to imagine a more perfect moment.

You hardly realized it when he began to drag you off the dance floor. The song had long ended, and as the speakers became more distant, his voice became clear.

“Y/n?”

His eyes were bigger than ever as you looked up into them, in awe of their gentle downward slope, their deep brown color, the sincerity always behind them.

“Baekhyun?”

“I want to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I..” He trailed off, still looking at you, seeming to lose his train of thought. “You… You look really pretty, you always do, but especially right now.”

It was nothing he hadn’t told you before, but it still hit you harder than ever. For a while you just held his gaze, until in a burst of blind, drunken, confidence, you moved closer. You stood on the tips of your toes, and ever so softly, you let your lips meet his blushing cheek. Before the confidence could wear off and you’d start to second guess yourself, you pulled him back onto the dance floor.

You both downed a few more drinks, your attention devoted fully to each other. It was silly, now, to think of how worried you’d been about coming here. You hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

Eventually you had to excuse yourself to find a bathroom. You stared into the mirror as you fixed your lip gloss, wondering if Baekhyun had a mark on his face, from where you’d kissed him earlier. You liked the idea of other girls knowing that you’d been there.

You held onto the sink with an iron grip, closing your eyes for a second to steady yourself, all too aware of the way the room spun around you. Drinking this much wasn’t like you, but you were having so much fun, you didn’t care.

The bright flashing lights and hoards of strangers were disorienting, especially in your intoxicated state. You ended up on a sort of balcony, overlooking the dance floor, trying to find Baekhyun somewhere among the crowd.

When you finally spotted him, your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. He was dancing with Sumin.

Everything that happened next felt like it went by in slow motion.

Her eyes broke away from him, scanning the room, and briefly met yours. You saw her throw her arms around his neck. She kissed him, and he kissed her back.

The music seemed to wane into a dull buzz, sudden dizziness causing you to stumble. It took you a minute to get your bearings again, but when you did, you pushed your way through the crowd and out onto the street without a second thought.

It had started to rain. The smell of wet concrete was your only company as you walked towards home, a cruel, painful pit swallowing you from the inside.

Baekhyun didn’t like you like that, of course he didn’t. He was like that with all the girls.

Part 2

#baekhyun fic #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo #exo fic #exo fanfic #baekhyun #exo fluff #exo angst #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop female oc #exo smut #kpop smut

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synthetickitsune · 1 year ago

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Prey ✧ b.bh

Pairing: Vampire!Baekhyun x human!(gn)reader Genre: angst - ? Summary: Baekhyun found himself a very willing prey, so why would he hold back? Word count: 2.1k Warning: blood, biting, mentions of death A/N: this is not what i wanted to write today, and it's not what i wanted to write when i started writing it and it's much longer and i blame exactly one (1) person for this thing bcs they infected me with vampire thirst and their stupid meme was the last drop </3

“Oh you wanna kiss me so bad,” you purr against his ear. You’re already breathing heavily, your heart beating in your chest at a frenzied pace. You pull at his hair, fingers tangling into the mess just so you feel something real in your grasp. If you don’t do something, you’ll lose your mind. Your body’s screaming at you to move, to run, but you can’t when there’s a beast pinning you to the wall.

There’s no way to ease the rush, or to persuade your body you’re not dying tonight - perhaps. If you’ll behave. Truth to be told, you wouldn’t want to run or feel safe even if you could. It’s too addictive, the feeling of blood rushing through your veins, your heart thumping like a rabbit’s caught in a hawk’s claws.

Baekhyun can hear it, he can smell it, as his little prey trembles in his hold in nothing but excitement that is not shared by your instincts. It makes his own so strong the world fades away as hunger takes over. You’re such a good prey. So afraid and so eager you all but put yourself into his lap, let him back you into a corner and he’s sure you’ll let him eat you up without fussing too. He can tell all warmth drains from your fingertips as his fans scratch up the column of your neck. His sharp senses only follow your blood - its warmth, its iron-y scent, the flow of it through your body. The artery right beneath his teeth is threatening to burst, so juicy and so full his body almost does something so human like salivating.

“Kissing you is the last thing I wanna do,” he finally responds but his tongue feels heavy and he drags it right over your pulse point, his body jolting in pleasure. You moan though your lips are pressed tightly together and it sounds almost as sweet as your heartbeat. The pain as you pull harder on his hair is sweeter. It’s so cute how desperately your mind is trying to anchor itself and brace itself against the terror of what it thinks is approaching death. Fortunately for you, Baekhyun likes to deny himself the pleasure as much as he likes to indulge, and he lets you pull his head away from your neck.

He responds to your desperate kisses lazily. His hands stroke up and down your sides, already caressing the bare skin under your shirt. You’re so full of life. He wants to take a little for himself. Yet you’re so greedy - hands grabbing at his collar, pulling him closer, clawing at him to rile him up or maybe in a poor and unwilling attempt at self-defense. Your teeth pulling on his lip and your sultry gaze are the last drop.

You gasp when he slams you against the wall, his body truly pinning you against the surface and his nails turning into claws that dig into your skin until it barely doesn’t break. It’s hard to breathe with the pressure of his body on yours. Your excitement grows and your fear spikes, but that’s alright. You can feel his excitement too. His pupils are blown wide and boring into yours. It’s an action guided purely by nature that you try to avoid the predatory gaze even as his breath mixes with yours and there’s nowhere else to look but the beast.

“Afraid yet, little human?” he whispers softly. It’s quiet enough that you can imagine he sounds concerned. Your mouth is too dry to speak, your throat too constricted and he’s not even choking you. His teeth, glistening in the moonlight coming in through the window, are still far from your flesh and blood. Your hands fall to hang limply by your body, the energy to fight leaves you and flight is not an option, yet your body is stuck in survival mode, helpless and shaking, and your eyes are getting teary. You’re such a good prey for him. “Will you beg for it?”

You take in a shaky breath but you can’t speak. Your mind blanks out when he dips his head and kisses the corner of your lips. Your jaw is next, he makes a tender path to where it meets your neck. He hovers without touching you, and you squirm against his body, the last spasms of a dying victim that are fruitless and only rouse the predator’s drive.

Your life flashes before your eyes. Shards of memories long forgotten - the same paralysis taking hold of your body the first time you heard a tiger’s roar, the same submission forced by instinct when you were forced into a corner with no means of standing up for yourself, and the state of being hyper aware of the blood rushing through your body when you met his hungry gaze for the first time.

His fangs are sharp enough that the pain comes later than the actual bite. You feel it like a blade slicing through the skin on your shoulder. He’s playing with you, and the tears pool in your eyes to the brim. You hear a gasp and realize that it’s you making the sound. Your muscles are drawn taut with tension, and it makes the next incision easy for him. Hissing, you feel the drops of blood dotting your skin. You’re more than familiar with his games, you know the cuts will heal quickly, leaving only faint scars behind. He’s just playing with his food until he’s not.

It’s different today. He’s impatient. You feel it in the way his claws already break skin and blood rises to the surface. Those won’t bleed much, merely leaving behind a bloody crust on his claws and uncomfortable little scratches that you’ll feel on your ribs every time you lay on your side.

Meanwhile his teeth nibble on the flesh of your neck and where he nibbles, he devours. You whimper, your hands curl into fist and your nails dig into your palm. You can’t do anything but let the pain wash over you. It’s only a little bite. Nothing more than an appetizer. Just a bit of flesh you don’t need and your body won’t miss. More blood than flesh, juicy and so fun to chew that it makes him shiver in excitement before he attacks your neck again. He’s just scraping you with his teeth a bit. Where’s the harm in that? It surely doesn’t hurt that much. Flesh won’t satisfy him, it won’t sooth the thirst clawing at his throat, but the pulpy addition to the liquid he needs is kind of fun.

The vibrations of Bakehyun’s satisfied hums and purrs tickle through your frozen state. The tears have long spilled and you’re biting your lip hard to stop yourself from crying out. Your neck is sensitive and tender from only just healing from your last encounter with the vampire. You won’t stand it for long, seeing as your hand already sought out his arms to grip onto. You close your eyes tight and try to get control of your breathing. You want to feel all of it. You don’t want to escape. Resisting instinct feels like overcoming death and you’re addicted to the high that follows.

He could shred your throat to pieces with his fangs alone but he’s just toying with you, leaving pretty little bloody lines that tempt him. His lips are bloody, his cheeks and chin and nose. He’s always been a messy eater when allowed to indulge. His throat burns, the void where his stomach used to be threatens to swallow him from the inside unless he quenches the thirst.

And then it comes.

“Please,” a faint plea, a cry, a sniffle from a pathetic little human that is offering a body much weaker than his own for him to use as he pleases, “Please drink from me.”

He feels your flesh splinter like wood when he bites where he littered your throat with his precise little bites and cuts and his eyes roll back as fresh blood fills his mouth. Distantly, he hears you scream so he presses himself firmer against you so you can’t breathe. He feels your blood drip in thick drops from his chin and down his neck. The metallic taste fills his soul with peace and soothes his aches. The iron tastes just like salvation. He keeps sucking out more of your blood and gulps it down eagerly. He can hear your heart beating, desperately trying to make for the lack of liquid it’s supposed to provide to your oxygen-starved body. He can feel you struggling, whimpering so weakly a human could not notice the sound.

He’s starving, famished, despite feeding not too long ago. Just a little taste and now he can’t get enough. You knew what you were getting into when you invited him to your home. Stretching, baring your neck for him to see. You wanted to get eaten. This once the blame is all yours. He licks the bites only to sink his teeth in again, to draw more pained sounds that soon die in your throat. He should let you go. He’s had enough to live without thirst. Now it’s just a decadent feast. Your thick blood pours down his throat and it’s a caress of angel’s wings. Just him and his good prey and the delicious blood. A heaven he has to let go.

Not yet, the vampire thinks as he licks his lips and the wound he left behind, he still needs more. He bites down again, lower, but close enough to let his teeth sink through the cracks in your flesh he made. You can’t scream anymore, choking on nothing as you try to breathe hopelessly, your body so weak as to be almost lifeless. It feels like your strength flows directly into him where his powers amplify it just to cause you more harm. The last of your tears spill from your eyes, and when you can no longer hold onto life and the world around you and your mind starts shutting down, you feel him lap at your neck.

The coagulated blood creates bumps that are a funny texture under his tongue, but that’s what he gets for getting carried away. You’re barely conscious - perhaps barely alive? He thinks for a moment, but your heart beats on, determined to make up for its failure to keep your body strong that is not its own fault. Still, you’re weak and fragile, and Baekhyun is grateful for how good a prey you were, and so he holds you still with all the tenderness he can muster when he’s at his strongest. He finishes his work with a kiss, and he hopes you felt it before you collapsed.

He should leave soon, before the dawn comes. You must be used to being left on the spot his kind fed from you. But seeing how pale you’ve become, and sucking the residue of your blood off his teeth, he’s overcome by genuine fondness. He sighs, collecting you in his arms. He carries you to bed and sets you down gently, cocooning you in blankets because he knows your body will struggle to produce warmth. He brings you water and some food, though he isn’t entirely sure if it’s ready to eat. Oh how simple his life is in regards to feeding.

His thirst satisfied and a favor done, he really needs to leave. You didn’t ask him to stay, nobody ever does. He doesn’t like to feel unwelcome, though he has a feeling that should you wake up with him in your bed, you wouldn’t entirely mind. He checks the sky outside. It’s still dark, but his body tells him he needs to get a move on to return to his own home safely. But then he hears your teeth chatter with cold, he sees you shiver even as you’re wrapped in all the warm and fluffy blankets he could find.

You were the perfect prey for him.

He should reward you after he took what he desired.

It feels like he’s disconnected from his body as he slips under the covers and maneuvers you to his chest. He knows he’s almost as warm as a human should be right after feeding, but he isn’t prepared to feel how cold you really are when you curl into him. Baekhyun sighs and pets your head. He doesn’t need sleep, his body won’t allow it either, but this sensation isn’t all that bad. He’ll allow himself to analyze it while you rest.

Soon he’ll seek out a new human to feed on, but tonight he’s happy to see his prey live on.

#exo scenarios #exo imagines #exo fics #exo x reader #baekhyun scenarios #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun angst #exo angst

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baekguuuuu · 1 year ago

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Daylight

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mature Content (nothing too detailed), lyric-inspired: Daylight

Word Count: 26.7k (im really sorry... again)

Summary: Born, raised, and bred in the city. Life took a dramatic turn when the things you cope with became the reason for the conflict with your father.

With your bags packed and the cigarette you sneak inside your suitcase, you hope for the best where life will bring you when you hop on the train with no specific destination in mind.

Skyscrapers. Blinding artificial lights. Traffic jam. Fast-paced environment. Overpriced nourishment.

Cigarette. Alcohol. Parties. Two-faced people. Hookups.

Those were the things I was surrounded by as a person born and raised in a big city.

Harmful lifestyle, people are being controlled by money, everything must be documented on social media—or it never happened, people whom you call friends even though they’ve been stabbing your back since day one, relationship that should be called situationship in the first place. And last but definitely not least, parents who weren’t there physically.

When I found out that my supposed-to-be friends in university have been hanging out without me, despite the fact that I have asked them countless of times and they would decline my invitation, saying that they were busy, or something came up, or their mother had asked them an errand—all those bullshit, but in reality, they were together.

I should’ve just stayed at home, eat junk food on my bed while watching Netflix, instead of going out alone and finding out that they’ve been shitting on me since our freshmen year.

But no, I didn’t.

If it wasn’t for my problem with falling asleep, I wouldn’t have gone to a pub by myself, ordering a few drinks to get tipsy so I could get some rest. I sent a message to our group chat, trying my luck if someone was available. And obviously, they all turned me down.

“Yeah—I know! She looks so dumb when she smiles!”

I was in my second glass when I recognized Lisa’s voice, trying so hard to be husky and chic at the same time. No name was mentioned, yet my heart started thumping inside my chest, slowly turning my head to peek over my shoulder to glance where the voice came from.

And I was right. Lisa, Wendy, and Soyeon were there... and some guys. Probably their date—I don’t know. Then my eyes landed on a particular person who I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now: Eunwoo. Given that we weren’t official, I thought we were hitting it off. My brows drew together when I followed the hand resting on his lap, which was Lisa’s.

They all said they were busy, and it was too late for them to go out, yet here they are. Giggling, flirting, drinking, and talking shit when they thought I couldn’t hear them.

I didn’t understand myself when I decided to stay for a few more minutes to hear what’re their thoughts were about me. Each and every word they would spat added a needle poking in my chest.

“She should be ashamed, to be honest. Her older brother has had good reputation since high school to university, and she has the audacity to just exist—”

“Are you done?”

The look on their faces is fucking hilarious when I finally had enough and stormed to their table with the most blank expression I could ever done. I can’t be more thankful that the pub has dim lights and they can’t probably see how red my face is.

Who will pay for the afternoon snacks in university now that I know what they’ve been doing behind my back? How will they be able to get a ride to campus now that I’d probably never hang out with them anymore? And whose luxury item they’d be using to take a photo and upload it on Instagram?

From a couple of shots to get some sleep turns into almost half of a bottle, and finding myself making out with a man who wears oversized and overpriced clothing until sobering just a little bit because of disappointment when this man, who removed his clothes sloppily as soon as we got into a cheap motel we could find, finished in less than two minutes, leaving me hanging and frustrated.

I groan and ruffle my hair before turning my head to look at this pathetic human being who couldn’t even last up until I’m close at least. I put on my clothes and leave the motel, palming myself that the sky is starting to get brighter yet still looks dark. My parents will definitely go apeshit on me. Again.

Did I spend the whole night—an awful one—awake, drunk, betrayed, and sexually frustrated?

Yes. Yes, I did.

I started walking home, totally intoxicated, at six in the morning, makeup smudged and reeked of a combination of alcohol and puke; while healthy enthusiast people would go for a run before starting their day.

“Good morning to people who wake up on my bedtime,” I’d slurred loudly, clumsily waving a hand to them. Of course, I’d always received a look from head to toe, probably wondering about the condition of my organs at that point.

“Don’t you think you’re too much?”

I tried drowning my dad’s nagging by sticking my head further down the toilet bowl while I let out the immoderate booze I downed the whole night.

My dad is the typical businessman. We’re not super rich to the extent that we have a butler or a red carpet by the front door—I think, but we do have some helpers to get shit done here at home. He’s become strict now that I’m older, but he did spoil me as a child, like a toddler-child, not the elementary-child because all I got during that time was trauma.

I’m not saying he’s not a good father, but he’s really uptight, mainly to me, especially when I started getting into trouble as early as nine years old—I stabbed a classmate with a sharp pencil, but that’s another story to tell.

My mom is the typical housewife of a businessman. She’s into wine and aesthetics. You know, she likes spending loads of money on marble things, antiques, and charcuterie that she never eats. She’s the madam of the house. Although, she’s the gentle parent among the two of them, and has no bad blood with anyone from being so friendly that she signed up to, at least, nine charities.

She’s always present in those charities, volunteering—all that stuff, but never once was she present to my piano recital, school performances, parent-teacher conferences, the list goes on.

“Can you guys—” she hurriedly closes the door and curtains that could be a reason someone might see the chaos inside our house, “—stop it? It’s not even seven in the morning!”

I heard my father scoff, and even though I was staring blankly at the pearl-white toilet before me, I could imagine how he rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval. Like he always does. “Yes, of course. What our neighbor thinks is more important than controlling your daughter. It’s your fault she’s become like this—”

“What do you mean my fault? You’re her parent, too. And why are you talking like that? We’ve all been in this stage of life—”

“I didn’t.”

Ah... how can I forget about my older brother, Kyungsoo, who exists in this world to make my life miserable as it already is. No, I’m just kidding—or not. We have the typical sibling-relationship. Our priority is to annoy each other, until one of us snitches to our parents.

Unlike me, who struggles to get a bachelor’s degree, Kyungsoo made it like a walk in a park that our dad thought’d be the same for me. He’s now aiming for a master’s, and he shows that he’ll continue until he gets a PhD.

I close my eyes, on the verge of crying, because I know where this will go now that Kyungsoo has decided that adding fuel to the fire is a good idea.

“See?” My dad’s voice was so loud that I felt the vibration on the walls. “Stop making excuses for the behavior of your daughter. It’s the choice she made—it’s the path she wants to go. Why am I still paying for her school? Her car, clothes—even uses my card to buy alcohol and cigarettes—don’t be surprised that I know! I always check your transaction history.”

He ended his sentence by pointing his index finger at my face as soon as I pushed myself up from the floor. I wanted to say something—things that have been going through my mind, but I’m tired... physically as I haven’t gotten a blink of sleep, and mentally... for so many things I couldn’t comprehend.

I know the three of them are waiting for me to rebut but what they didn’t expect was for me to nod my head in confirmation.

“Yeah... I smoke and I drink a lot, I even used your card for motels—”

I already saw it coming on how he would react, but not like this. Although, it’s not the first time he had to discipline me physically, nobody predicted that the side of my head would hit the wall from the impact of his hit. The scene is a bit dramatic with my mom’s gasping and Kyungsoo bulging his eyes out. I don’t think it’s that serious as I still feel okay, just a bit dizzy, though my lip got cut and is bleeding from the actual slap.

Deep down in my heart, I hope that my dad will apologize for his outburst, but I know I deserve it when he coldly said, “I’m done with you.”

My dad didn’t throw me out directly—or he did—but he clearly stated that he didn’t want to see my face under his roof. I tried to call my friends but remember, I have none now and haven’t been in touch with my high school friends for years. It’d be weird to call them asking for a place to stay for the rest of the summer break.

Obviously, he confiscated the credit card I typically use and the car I received as a gift when I finished high school.

I didn’t even get a chance to take a rest even for a short while, and immediately packed my belongings with a heavy heart. I know what I’ve done, and I kind of deserve this punishment he’s giving me, but could I at least have an apology? Because that slap hurt so bad.

Alright, maybe he thinks that I do not deserve anything for all the headaches I’ve given him. But can he at least ask me what’s going on? How’s school? Did someone hurt me? Am I okay? I can’t even remember the last time he asks me if I’ve eaten. That goes for my mom as well.

“Where will you go?”

Kyungsoo asks with a low voice while he watches me struggle to zip the suitcase close. I had to sit on top so my clothes would be compressed a little bit. I can only manage to carry a duffel bag and a large suitcase by myself; hence I must compromise.

“Here and there,” I curtly respond, not batting an eye to him. I grab a plain t-shirt and walk towards the ensuite bathroom to change. Although I still have alcohol in my system and I’m still quite dizzy, I can’t deny the fact that my clothes smell terrible.

“I can ask Junmyeon hyung if you can stay at his place,” he says right after I leave the bathroom. “He’s rarely home and I—”

I scoff, rolling my eyes as I sling the duffel bag on my shoulder and grab the handle of the suitcase. “Why do you even care?”

Kyungsoo looks taken aback by my reaction, perhaps thinking that I’d be kneeling before him in happiness that he’s offering his friend’s apartment for me to stay while our dad takes his time to cool off. “Of course I care, you’re my sis—”

“No shit, Kyungsoo,” I laugh incredulously, not letting him finish his sentence. “Just few weeks ago, you literally said to my face how embarrassed you are because I’m in the same family tree as you.”

I saw how his jaw went tight, seemingly out of words. And I could feel the lump in my throat; my eyesight got glossy as tears started to form in the brim of my eyes. I’ve never talked nor confronted them about the way they communicate with me. Whether how hurtful their words were, I would swallow my pride and isolate myself with despicable things I’ve done.

I walk past him with the initial thought of not looking back, but I have something that needs to get out of my chest. “And no, Kyungsoo, you do not care about me—no one in this house does. So don’t act like a big brother now, it’s too late to do that.”

Nowhere to go...

Those are the words I’ve been repeating as I stare at the train station from a distance. I still have some cash that I kept hidden in case of emergency, and now I want to pat myself on the shoulder for thinking ahead—even though, this is not a good thing.

I’m tired and starving.

And I’m hoping that my life won’t be dark and cruel as it already is that it would suddenly rain when summer just started.

I heave a deep breath, closing my eyes before I wheel my things with me. I cross the road as I walk towards the train station, with no specific destination in mind.

My eyes are wide open, looking at the big screen with the details of departure and arrival times from and to the places I’ve never heard of before. Until my eyes reached the last town on the list, it would take almost five hours. It rings a bell, but I’m unsure where and when I’ve heard of it or if it’s just a figment of my imagination.

I paid for a one-way ticket, bought myself a convenient store rice ball and a bottle of water, charged my phone to the outlet at the corner of the waiting area, and hoped for the best.

I’ve been out of the country, of course, but travelling to somewhere with little to no money, with no backups or whatsoever, is terrifying. I don’t know where it will get me, however, I’m already desperate and I, honestly, want to get out of here for a while.

I still have a year left in university, so there is a massive probability that I’ll be back before the semester starts. Even though I’m struggling to pass my course, I don’t have the desire to just drop out. Even if it means that I must start making money to support myself, I’ll do it.

You don’t know how to do anything. How will you survive?

I can hear my dad’s voice inside my head, reminding me how useless I’ve been to the family.

Nuisance.

I was labeled when I got into a massive fight with my brother in high school. I got into trouble when I hit him with my fist, but he was never once reprimanded for the way he talked to me since we were kids.

My surroundings rushed when the town's name printed on my ticket was finally called to board. People gather their belongings and fall in the queue, waiting for the sliding door to be opened.

So, this is it...

I can’t wrap my head around that twelve hours ago, I had a black credit card with me, drinking with no limit, and now, I only have at least a hundred bucks in my pocket and clothes from a quarter of my closet.

My suitcase was left on the baggage area at the end of the carriage, while my duffel bag was thrown on the overhead compartment. I plug my AirPods that thankfully got into my pocket earlier—or am I still drunk to remember that I brought it with me, while I watches the window beside my assigned seat displays buildings to transition slowly to trees and empty fields.

When I jolted awake from the vibration of the train halting to a complete stop, it reminded me, like an ice-cold bucket of water splashed on my face, harsh and cruel, that I was, in fact, not dreaming. Most passengers are greeted by their loved ones when they exit the station.

Unlike the one in the city, the station in this town is open air, facing the blue ocean with the sound of seagulls singing around. My heart feels like it's being tickled by a soft feather when the warm breeze of summer air hits my face.

I can’t describe the smell, but it’s nothing like the air I breathe back in the city. There’s a distinct smell of the ocean, though it’s not unpleasant, but more on cozy sentiment. The sun shines bright and there are trees planted all over the place, contradicted with the cloudy and polluted city I grew up in.

“Young lady—miss!”

A faint voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head on the side and look over my shoulder to see an elderly woman walking briskly towards me. Her hair is white, her skin is wrinkly, and the top of her head only reaches my jawline.

She gives me a kind smile, handing me a phone in her hand. “You dropped this.”

My eyes widened as my hands frantically searched for the device I thought was in my pocket. “Oh, shit—oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to curse. I—”

“It’s alright,” she gives my hand a pat, chuckling and seemingly amuse by my reaction. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?”

I mumble an appreciation for the kind gesture before shaking my head to answer her question. “Uh, no. Not really.” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed that my appearance probably screams tourist.

She looks delighted with my answer, setting her bag on the ground before clasping her hands excitedly. “We haven’t had visitors in this small town for such a long time! What a pleasant surprise this is!”

“I mean,” I give her a smile before bashfully looking down at my feet, “trying something new, I guess.”

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, getting her bag from the ground. “Do you have an itinerary? Or would you want me to help you?”

I hope my eyes didn’t glisten in relief when I look at her in disbelief. But then I remember how we were taught for ages to not talk to strangers, regardless of gender and age, to not trust anyone, to not take anything from them nor go with them to places.

The old lady must have read my expression that she laughs, the corner of her eyes crinkling as they shaped into a crescent. “The sun is up, and there’s a lot of people around. I’m not going to kidnap you, dear. I’m old as you can see and can’t move fast. You can ask me questions about the town, and I will answer them. That’s it. All of us here get excited when someone visits this small town. Forgive this old grandma, my dear.”

Warmth creeps up from my neck up to my face from embarrassment, concealing my scarlet red cheeks by looking around to act as if I’m looking for something. “I—uhm...” I rub the back of my neck, trying to get my brain to work despite being sleep deprived and hangover. “To be honest, I really don’t have any idea where to start. But would you happen to know where I can find a place to stay? Like an affordable hotel or something?”

I internally cringe from the way I deliver the last few words. I sounded like a spoiled brat, and it’s not my intention. Maybe I should’ve asked where I can earn money instead... right?

“Oh, dear...” her shoulders slumped as she sighs, looking like in deep thoughts while she thinks thoroughly about my inquiry. “We don’t really have hotels around here, but some families offer a room in their home for a price.”

The horror-thriller movies I’ve watched before quickly flies out my mind, and I am that desperate to find a place to stay.

“Do you happen to know where I can find one? But I only have a limited budget, so...” I grimace, internally crying with my situation.

“Hmm... let me see,” she fished out a flip phone from her purse, dialing a number before pressing the device on her ear. I watch her every action like a lost sheep, making me realize how I took my lifestyle for granted.

“Youngmi! It’s me!” she exclaimed, my shoulders flinching from how loud her voice is. “We have a visitor—yes! I’m surprised myself. But she’s looking for a place to stay—for how long?”

She turns her focus to me, covering the phone's mic with her other hand. “For how long, dear?”

For how long? Why haven’t I thought about that? I don’t know how long I’d be staying here... will my family look for me? Or am I getting my hopes too high for nothing?

“Uh—two months, maybe?”

The old lady looks stunned for a few seconds before clearing her throat to inform the other person on the line. “Two months, Youngmi. Is it okay—or? Okay, okay.”

The phone call ended with a sigh and I’m not taking it as a good sign. “No?” My voice was small and quiet, feeling a little too hopeless with the thought that I’d probably sleep on the street tonight.

She shakes her head, looking at me with sad eyes as if reading my mind and pitying me. “Her daughter-in-law will give birth anytime soon; she can’t lend her spare room that long. I’m so sorry, dear.”

“Oh...” the corner of my lips curved downwards, feeling dejected, yet it was expected since nothing was planned with this little trip of mine. “That’s okay, though. Thank you so much for helping me—”

“I have a spare room if you’d like,” she proposes, cutting me off in the middle of my dilemma. “I live by myself. My husband left this planet almost two years ago, but I do have some animals to keep me company. If you don’t mind some creatures waking you up early in the morning.” She ended her sentence with a chuckle, and I couldn’t help myself but smile, it’s contagious.

“I—how much would that be?” I stutter, my heart thumping inside my chest for a couple of reasons. One, she could be a psycho despite her sweet appearance and would murder me in my sleep. Two, I only have a hundred bucks with me and have no other source of income. Maybe I can sell some of my things to pay for my stay?

The old lady shrugs her shoulders, laughing quietly before patting and gently squeezing my arm. “I’m fine with how much you’re willing to pay. I’m already old and don’t need much money.”

In a hurry, I unzip my duffel bag and hand her the crumpled bills in my hand, looking a bit guilty from how they are stored. I’m aware that what I’m doing is risky, but I can’t think of anything else other than a roof over my head. “This is everything I have right now, but I’ll find a way to pay you more—I swear.”

The old lady looks lost for a minute, her eyes shifting from the messy bill on her palm to my round, pleasing eyes. “It’s—it’s alright, dear. Calm down. But—” she nods her head to my things. “We don’t really have public transportation here, and I usually walk. Are you alright with walking?”

I don’t even go to the gym to do a heavy workout since I prefer Pilates and yoga, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? Hence, I nod my head with a tight smile, hoping to God that it doesn’t look forceful.

Or it did.

She has a fond smile on her face as she shakes her head, dialing another number on her flip phone. “Baekhyun-ah! I’m so sorry to call you suddenly—ah, of course, this grandma knows how to use her phone now. Are you busy right now—oh, that’s great! Is it alright if you pick us up from the train station? Of course, I’ll pay you.”

I am greatly astounded that this grandma seems to know everyone in this town, when I don’t even know our neighbor’s name even though we’ve been living beside them all my life. I’ve heard stories about how countryside residents have tight communities, unlike in the city, but witnessing it is another level.

We both waited in front of the station for almost ten minutes until a beaten, on the looks of it, pick-up truck pulled up.

A young man, looking around my age, jumps out of the truck. He has dark brown hair that seems really soft to touch, and a clear, sun kissed skin. He’s wearing a loose white T-shirt and a light blue jeans.

“I should charge you double for interrupting my little date, Gran.” He laughs, giving the old lady a quick hug. “How’s your trip to the dreadful city?”

The old lady who was addressed as Gran by this man, who I believe is Baekhyun from the phone call earlier, poked the side of his stomach, clicking her tongue. “It was fine, and we both know that you’re not on a date, Baekhyun. Everyone is out of your league.”

Baekhyun places his hands on his chest, faking a grunt as if he has been hit. “That hurts, Gran-gran.”

“Enough with the chitchat! Come, help us with these bags.” she pushed Baekhyun playfully to where my things are placed, and I think that’s the only time he notices that I was here the whole time.

Now that he’s up-close, I’m able to see the moles on his face that look like a constellation, how droopy his eyes are, and how can I miss his triangular-shaped lips of his. It’s so pink, and glossy—what the hell am I thinking?

“Oh, hi there,” he greet. Hisis facial expression immediateldroppedps, except for his ey, which quickly scanned my suitcase, shoes, andmy head. The tone of his voicbecamees hostile, far from his enthusiasm earlier. “From the city?”

Five words. It only took him five words for me to realize that he’s not really fond of the city... or living creature from the city.

“Yes, I am,” I answer him politely, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Is there something I should be concerned about?”

I saw how the corner of his eye twitches before he literally throws my suitcase on the back of his truck. My eyes widen and I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “What the fu—that’s a Rimowa’s special edition!”

I’m fuming and I bet his ass that my face’s probably scarlet red, at the same time, praying that there’s no dents on my suitcase.

“Baekhyun!” Gran scolded, slapping his arm, though she can use some force so Baekhyun and I can be even. “That’s not very nice.”

Baekhyun, who is visibly upset for no reason at all, opens and closes the driver’s seat with so much force that I can’t help but flinch on how loud the door slammed. “Well—for starters, I’m not trying to be nice, Gran.”

Gran looks at me with pity in her eyes, although I’m unable to comprehend what is happening, and what he saw in me that he made him this ill-mannered, when just few minutes ago, he was all friendly and making jokes with Gran.

I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, silently telling her that it’s fine and I’m not bothered at all. I really am not, yet somehow, I am. Or maybe I’m still hangover?

When I open the passenger’s door, I’m instantly greeted by Baekhyun’s blazing eyes, trying so hard to look intimidating, but hey—that’s my life everyday back in the city.

I roll my eyes, holding the door open for Gran to sit beside him instead, and I’ll take the seat beside the door. I haven’t been inside a vehicle which allows three people in the front—but I’ve never been in a pick-up truck before, so hey, who’s complaining?

We drove for a few minutes in a very awkward silence, with me trying my best to look to my right and watch the trees and small houses on the side of the road until we reached the coastline, which, unfortunately, was on the left side.

I’m appreciating the nature and this town in peace, being really careful not to glance at the man behind the wheel even for a nanosecond, but he seems to have a huge ego and scoffs.

“Never seen an ocean before? Going to write blog about it so developers can get a piece of our land?”

“Baekhyun!” Gran warned, scowling so hard that I’m starting to question if coming with her is a good idea. Because I seriously can’t afford any incident.

I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself and think of something relaxing and such, but the drop of alcohol in my system acts up, and something in me just snaps. “Okay, listen here, you motherfucker—”

Adrenaline rush. That is what to blame for my sudden outburst. I can’t even remember the things I said because it’s obvious that they were nonsense and full of swearing. I probably uttered made-up curse words by each alphabet to showcase my pride and to prove this Baekhyun that I’m not backing out from his ego.

I only stop when Gran shakes her head and places the side of her head on her palm, looking helpless since she’s sitting between Baekhyun and me.

Fortunately, when I’m done swearing that my mama wouldn’t be proud of—but hey, since when did she, the pull-up truck halts on the side of the road and I didn’t even confirm with Gran if this is her house before I hastily open the door.

I give Baekhyun one last look, and I’m not surprised that he’s already looking at me with much hatred and somewhat disgust. It takes a lot of me not to flip him off right there and then as Gran already looks so done with us.

My breathing is restraint, fists turning white from how I’m gripping my palm, when Baekhyun decided to piss me one last time before driving off right after getting paid by Gran.

“I won’t be surprised if you brought air purifier in that ugly looking suitcase of yours!”

“It’s fucking Rimowa!”

My glare didn’t leave his pickup truck once he drives off, chanting in my head to get him stung my bees on his dick. That is until I heard my metal suitcase being picked up from the ground I came back to my senses.

“Gran—I,” I shake my head, closing my eyes, totally embarrassed from the way I behaved earlier with the man I’ve met for fifteen minutes. “I’m sorry—I hope it’s okay for me to call you Gran.”

“Yes, my dear, don’t worry about it.” She smiles kindly, patting my arm to assure me. “I would like to apologize as well. Baekhyun can be quite... obnoxious.”

“Obnoxious is quite an understatement for him,” I tried to laugh it off, dusting the duffel bag freakin’ Baekhyun threw on the soil. I mean, he could at least throw it on the pavement since it’s fabric and—oh... I see what he did. That motherfu—

“He’s a nice kid, he really is. He just can get a little sensitive to people from the city.” Gran explains, gesturing with her hand to come inside her lawn.

“What’s the deal with him anyway?” I distractedly ask, observing her pace and silently praying that there’s no bunker or some weird stuff around. Still having the thought of a scenario in thriller movies.

I thought when she mentioned earlier that she has animals around, I’m thinking they’re just cats and dogs, and probably some rabbits. But what I didn’t expect to see is a barn with hens and roosters, pigs, goats—wait, is that a donkey?

I was asked to sit in the breakfast nook in the kitchen where windows are on each corner, making the natural light be the source of brightness of the house. A mug of warm tea is placed on the table in front of me and I look at it skeptically, just a precaution and Gran laughs, shaking her head in amusement.

“I didn’t put a potion or somethin’ on it,” she chuckles, “you want me to take a sip first, so you know it’s safe?”

My cheeks flush, and I shake my head, abashed that I got caught doubting her. “Just so you know, I’m broke, and I have no money with me. I drink a lot of alcohol and I smoke, so you won’t make good use of my organs. I’m basically useless.” Okay, the last part hurts a bit.

Gran laughs so loud, holding her stomach as she does. “You’re so clever, dear.”

I scrunch my nose, repeating the saying: May the odds be ever in your favor, as I raise the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea Gran prepared. “You’re the first person to say that—oh, this is good! What’s in this?”

“Just chamomile tea with a teaspoon of honey.” Gran answers, her lips raising a little bit, though it almost interprets as sadness as she thinks of some long-lost memory. “Anyway, dear—” she changes the topic quickly that I wasn’t able to pry, “just bear with Baekhyun. I’ll talk to him to get him to apologize. There's no excuse for what he did, especially to a lady.”

“Well, maybe that’s why he doesn’t get any dates,” I shrug my shoulders, seemingly impressed with how my brain works to roast Baekhyun until this moment.

Gran laughs out loud once again, and I take a sip of the tea again, which is weirdly comforting and somehow nostalgic. “So, Gran, sorry for prying, but what’s up with that dude again and the piece of land he was talking about?”

Her jolly expression immediately drops, a wave of sorrow washes through her eyes, and her shoulders deflate before she heaves a deep sigh. “I—it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Baekhyun was just referring to typical businessmen who like to buy everything they find pretty for their own interest.”

My lips purse while I nod my head, understanding her sentiment since my father does the same. I can’t even count with my fingers how many enemies he has because of it. “Yeah, they’re the worst.”

“Okay, enough about this town,” Gran chuckles, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the topic. She takes the seat in front of me and intertwines her fingers before resting them on the table. “You appear to be hesitant, but I have a feeling you’re desperate. I’m not going to pry, but everything okay, dear?”

“Yes, Gran,” my mouth curves into a smile, the doubt in me slowly dissipating, however, I’m still not ready to share my story nor give a quick overview as to why I’m here. Maybe some other day, but not today. I’m beyond spent. “By the way, Gran. Why aren’t you asking for my name? Aren’t you scared that I might be a criminal or something?”

She snorts, giving me a dirty look. “You went ballistic when Baekhyun threw your things but didn’t raise a finger to him or me. I’m pretty sure I’m safe.”

I press my lips together as a flush creeps up my face, still embarrassed by my outburst earlier. “Okay, let’s not mention that ever again.”

I give Gran a kind smile, reaching my right hand to formally introduce myself. I tell her my name as we shake hands. She asks for some basic information, and I willingly answer. “I still have a year left in university, and I’m turning twenty-two in November. I live in the city my whole life and I don’t really have a good relationship with my family, so I can’t say much about them, but that’s another story to tell.”

We talk for over an hour before I’m unable to stop the humiliating yawn coming out of my mouth. Gran shakes her head with a fond smile on her face before asking me to follow her to the spare room she has.

The room is completely empty, except for a few dusty boxes on the corner that I probably won’t get near because I’m allergic to dust... I think.

With the use of teamwork, Gran and I also managed to unbox and inflate the air mattress she got from Secret Santa from last year’s Christmas. I have no idea how to follow a manual and Gran is too old for such things. We both laugh it off and call it a night.

I didn’t see Baekhyun again until my third day here.

I came out clean to Gran the next morning. I stayed in her house and told her about my shortcomings in money. I had to ask her for sources in the town since I still had to feed myself, although she reassured me multiple times that I shouldn’t worry about basic stuff.

She looked disappointed, nonetheless, and didn’t comment further on the situation as to why my dad kicked me out of the house.

Since locals don’t know me yet, Gran decided to let me help in her barn instead. Taking the light tasks for now; such as feeding the animals, collecting the eggs from the hens, cleaning their stuff, and the lists go on.

It’s a lot of adjustment since I do nothing at home, and have zero knowledge in basic home chores, what more working in a barn. But Gran is patient towards me, teaching and guiding, before letting me do the job for the rest of the day.

On the second day—and the third day since I stayed here, Gran let me do the delivery. Nothing much. I just have to deliver the eggs to the market, get the money, then I can come back to the barn.

I feel like a loser when Gran asked me if I know how to ride a bicycle since she doesn’t own a car, or vehicle, for me to use to deliver the eggs to the market.

When she pulls out her flip phone and dials a number, I already know that my day will be ruined.

“How come a human being can’t ride a simple bicycle?”

I shut my eyes close. The urge to slam my head on the windowsill is too much. I can’t keep track of how many timeshas had said those words.

For a second, I decided to protect my peace and let this be done with, butkepteeps going on, uttering the most sensitive topic in my life. “Didn’t your father or mother teach you?”

“How come a human being like you won’t stop talking?”

That seems to shut him up as he has his lips pursed when I peek at him at the corner of my eye. The veins on his hands become prominent from how tight he’s gripping the stirring wheel. Feeling like a little pride in me, I decide to continue—you know, just to piss him off since I don’t have my suitcase with me. “What? Did I strike a nerve?”

No response.

“You must love your truck so much that you both won’t stop making unnecessary noise—”

My hands are fast to hold on titot on my seatbelt when Baekhyun swerve on the right, extending his arm to open the passenger’s door. I’m still catching my breath and my heart is still pumping rapidly in my chest.

“Get out.”

“W-wait, are you serio—”

“Out!”

He didn’t scare me. He looks nothing scary. But he looked visibly upset that I started to rethink what I had said. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he doesn’t have the right to talk to me the way he’s done since we met.

Once again, I glare at his truck as he drives away with the eggs Gran asked me to deliver. It’s his problem now. I can just be honest with Gran and tell her how Baekhyun kicked me out of his truck in the middle of the road with the blazing sun in the sky.

I keep cursing Baekhyun on my way back to Gran’s house. I’m really bad with direction that I circled the same intersection for at least three times. I’m sweaty, flushed, dehydrated, sunburned because I freakin’ forgot to wear sunscreen—and I’m not even sure if I packed any because I was hella hangover that day.

“Thanks, Gran! See ya later!”

Speaking of the devil. My heart is full of hatred when I hear his voice, the owner of the voice who is reason for my suffering; the reason why my skin is burning and my head spinning.

Baekhyun looks surprised upon seeing me slowly walking towards the porch where he and Gran are, then his expression turns into amusement when he realizes I’m fuming with anger.

“You motherfu—”

I was cut off, or more like, my rage was cut off when Gran merrily called my name, clasping her hands together. “Dear, thank you so much for delivering the eggs. Though we were a bit late than scheduled, Baekhyun here told me that the market paid him well. And he lost you in the crowd? Is everything okay?”

The corner of his lips quirked up, while the corner of my eye twitched. Lost? He freakin’ left me, kicked me and let me walk kilometers away from this place. “L-lost...?”

“Yes, you got distracted, remember? I told you to stay close since the market can be quite crowded in the middle of the day.” Baekhyun lies through his teeth, and I’m amazed that he didn’t even stutter.

I’m about to expose what really happened but he’s quick to walk towards where I am, bumping his shoulder with mine, not before eyeing my burnt face. “You look like Peppa Pig,” he whispers to my ear, making sure Gran won’t hear.

I gasp loudly, having the strong urge to punch his face. However, before I can even react, he waves his hand to Gran who returns his smile, “I’ll get going now, Gran! Call me if you need anything!”

I look at Gran incredulously, but she just shrugs her shoulder before chuckling. “You two are adorable.”

“Ew—Gran, no!” I almost fainted right there and then.

It’s no news that I’m having trouble sleeping, much more in this unfamiliar town, not in my room nor my bed. Though I did manage to close my eyes to rest for a bit, it’s far from sleeping to recover my energy.

I’m already up before five in the morning and couldn’t be more surprised how chilly it is when the sun hasn’t risen yet.

My phone has been untouched since I got here, hence I have no access to the internet, and Gran flip phone is not really functional except for making calls and texts.

I tried to do some physics I learned in high school to balance myself on Gran’s old cruiser bicycle, so I won’t bother—or more like interact with Baekhyun the next time I have to deliver something again.

But again, I’m not the wisest kid in the block, never was, and I can’t tell you how many times my face came contact with the ground. I’m close to getting really injured and was about to give up when a familiar, unpleasant, roaring engine pulled up beside where I am.

“What do you want now?” I groan, praying to heavens to know what I did wrong to be punished this early in the morning.

Baekhyun chuckles in amusement. He’s wearing a plaid shirt under a white T-shirt. His hair is a mess, and obviously unwashed. “Oh, now you’re learning how to ride a bicycle.”

“Just—” I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself so I won’t make a scene like I have been doing around him. It’s too early and most people are still asleep. “Be on your way, Baekhyun. It's too early to deal with you.”

“Hey, come on now,” I groan once again when he turns off the engine and gets out of this truck. “Gran texted me to give you a chance—mind you, that old lady doesn’t text anyone. So, don’t waste the chance I’m giving you now.”

He sounds so arrogant, and I’m aware that he’s doing it on purpose to get on my nerves. I press my lips together before forcing a smile, breathing through my nose as I raise my head a little to look at him in the eye. “Can you come closer?”

But he smiled mischievously, shaking his head. “I know what you’re gon’ do. You’ll bump your forehead on mine. I’ve seen that trick everywhere, so puh-lease.”

I nod my head and smile innocently. “No, no. I’m not going to do that, I’ll hurt myself more than I’ll hurt you. I just have something to say to you.”

“You can say it to me with distance.”

“Then I’d rather not say it.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, huffing, before leaning his ear closer to me. “You’re so stubborn. What the heck you want to tell me—ah!!!”

I normally don’t resort to violence, and I just mentioned earlier that I do not want to cause a scene, especially when the sun hasn’t risen yet.

I just had to do it.

As soon as his ear was a few centimeters away from my mouth, even though he was not yet done talking, I opened my mouth and sink my teeth on it. I meant to let him experience my wrath just a little bit, however, I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I bit him harder than I intended to. Or maybe I didn’t expect him to squeal like a girl.

Expectedly, Gran walks out of the front door with a lamp in her hand, still in her sleepwear and obviously just woken up from how loud Baekhyun was. Not only Gran, but the houses nearby light up to let us know they were awakened by the noise.

“I’m so disappointed to both of you.” Gran shakes her head as me and Baekhyun sit in her living room, the latter holding his ear as he pouts. “I don’t understand why the both of you can’t get along? Or just be civil with each other? If you don’t like each other, just don’t talk, don’t interact—and I don’t even want to know how Baekhyun ended up with a bleeding ear.”

I can only roll my eyes when Baekhyun points his finger at my face, plastering an innocent face. “Oh, sure. Blame it on the person from the city, because I’m the bad guy here, and you’re an innocent countryside jerk.”

He looks taken aback by what I said. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times like a fish out of water, but no words came out from his mouth.

“Okay, now...” Gran tries to calm us down, more specifically to me. “Dear, please... let’s keep everything in place and talk calmly. Can we do that, please, hmm?”

“I don’t know your beef with people from the city—” I ignore Gran and lock my eyes with Baekhyun who looks surprised as the old lady standing in front of us. “—but there are thousands of people living there, millions even, and I do not know each one of them. If you have a problem with them, then take it out on them, not on me! I don’t even know you and you’ve been nothing but disrespectful to me the minute we met. And now you’re going to blame me for—”

“Okay, dear, calm down...” Gran had to sit down between us and place her hand on my arm, “you made your point, and we understood it. Right, Baekhyun?”

The guy just stares at my face, not moving a single muscle, that, until Gran nudges his knee. “Y-yeah...”

“And what do you say, Baekhyun?” Gran presses on, urging an apology from him.

Baekhyun sighs, licking his bottom lip. “I—I’m sorry...”

“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Gran smiles before turning her attention back to me. “Dear?”

My eyes widen as I gape at her. “Why me—”

“It’s never okay to hurt someone, dear...”

I sigh in defeat, definitely agreeing with her sentiment. “Fine. I’m sorry for biting your ear.” But I don’t think I need to apologize for anything else than that.

It feels like déjà vu the next time I see Baekhyun. It’s almost five in the morning, and I’m teaching myself to ride a bicycle again when his truck pulls up.

“’Sup?”

I dramatically groan, placing my feet on the ground to balance myself as I watch him get out of his truck. “What now, Baekhyun? Do you want your other ear to get bitten this time—and why the hell are you out this early?”

Baekhyun scrunches up his face in judgement, or disgust—I can’t really distinguish. He places a hand on the handlebar just beside my own hand and wiggles it as if to test if it’s sturdy enough. “I think this need a little bit of fixing, and I can see from here how rusty the chain is, we might need to oil or, worst scenario, change it.”

He ends his sentence with a smile, which made me frown because he never smiles when my presence is around. My face contorted, unable to comprehend what was happening. Then I raise my brows at him to answer my question earlier, and I’m glad he gets the message.

“I help with the boats at midnight, and we just finished a while ago. This is like my part-time job. And no, I don’t want my other ear to get bitten, thank you very much.”

I look at him skeptically, “Okay... and what are you doing here? Talking to me like a normal person?”

He sighs, his chest puffing out as he does. “Well, we were off to a bad start, and I do realize how jerk I was to you. And I would like to apologize for the way I behaved. I also want you to know that I’m not kind of a person.”

“Gran wrote that script, yes?” I roll my eyes, though I can’t stop the corner of my lips from curving up.

Even with the lack of bright rays of the sun, and the only source of light is from the lamppost on the road, I see how he smiles as well. “That obvious, huh?”

“Very,” I chuckle, slapping his hand away from the handlebar. “The choice of words was much mature and totally far from who you are.”

“Hey! I rehearsed my lines all night. Be appreciative, can you?”

“Oh, I will, once you fixed the chain something—I’m not really sure what’s the function of,” I get off the bike and push it towards Baekhyun who drops his expression to a deadpan.

“Will I be getting paid?” he asks, taking a quick look at Gran’s old cruiser bicycle.

“Well, I don’t have extra money,” I sniff, looking away to hide my broke-ness, and play it cool. And I was quick to stop him when he was about to drop the bike when he learned I don’t have money to pay him. “I can show you my tits? Guys like chest, right? They’re not that big but they’re pretty decent—”

“What the fu—”

“Okay, okay! I’m just kidding, sheesh!” Or not.

“Just stop talking. Can you do that, please?” he emphasizes the last word as he started working on the bicycle and I nod my head like an obedient child.

Almost half an hour later and a greasy Baekhyun, I’m finally back on my bicycle, learning how to cruise without falling face first.

By six-thirty in the morning, Gran walks out of the front door, beyond surprise to see Baekhyun helping me attach a semi-large basket on the rear rack of the bicycle. “Lovely morning, kids! And Baekhyun, you need a bath.”

I look at the man in topic, eyeing him from head to toe and boy did he need a good ol’ scrubbing. “He does.”

Baekhyun looks me dead in the eye before raising his brows. “Seriously? After I explained what a chain does to a bicycle after I taught you how to balance yourself by pedaling because physics wasn’t working, and gravity was failing you?”

“Shut up! That’s supposed to be a secret and not to be said out loud.” I walk past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on him. “And you stink; you really do need a bath.”

“Okay—come on, come on. Don’t ruin the bond you just created,” Gran waves her hand for us to go inside. “Let’s have breakfast together. And Baekhyun, please, help yourself in the bathroom.”

And I received another glare when I snickered not so subtly.

Since that eventful morning, I’ve been civil with Baekhyun. We may bicker here and there, but no ear-biting incident has ever occurred henceforth.

I’ve also been delivering stuff to the market, or sometimes door to door, when Gran needs a helping hand. My bicycle journey is going well, though there were few minor troubles, but nothing serious that should be cause for concern.

At times, if he had time, he’d go with me to the market or around the town—or maybe, most probably rather, Gran forced him to.

And that became the reason as why I met Jisoo. The gorgeous lady that is way out of his league.

“Gran’s right, everyone is out of your league,” I mutter as soon as Jisoo is already out of sight.

We stopped by the bakery which Jisoo’s family runs and where she works. She’s nice and friendly, already asked me to come by next time I’m free so she can give me a proper tour around. And I didn’t fail to notice how Baekhyun ogles at her. He looked like he was about to whack my head when I used that term to explain how he was looking at the lady.

“Not everyone, because that means you’re included,” he simply answers. My eyes widen in shock, gaping at what he just said. Fortunately, he immediately clears things up, but not before rolling his eyes and scoffing. “I am the one who’s out of your league. I’m way better than you.”

Although I find it offensive, I sigh in relief and wipe an imaginary sweat on my forehead. “Phew, for a minute I thought you were flirting with me.”

“I’m offended.”

I think it’s been over two weeks now or so—I don’t know, I stopped counting the days.

I’m scared to turn on my phone. I’m scared that there will be no text messages nor calls from my family asking my whereabouts or showing their worry on my well-being.

I’m scared because I have a feeling inside me that I already know the answer to that.

Always have been.

The clock shows two in the morning, and I’m on Gran’s roof with the pack of cigarettes I didn’t forget to bring along. Putting a stick between my lips before inhaling deeply, holding my breath for a second, and exhaling the smoke out of my mouth.

This always made me calm; my nerves feel soothed, my mind would stop running for a minute, and the smell developed as a comfort to me.

Although I know the risks of smoking, it’s the only way that I know of to cope in life... my life.

“Holy crap, I thought something was burning up here.”

I almost jumped from the roof when a voice interrupted my deep thoughts. And my reflex is to throw away the butt of the cigarette after squashing down the tip.

I peek over my shoulder and see Baekhyun carefully scooting next to me, making sure that his movement won’t make a fuss and wake up the owner of the house.

“What the hell? Do you really appear everywhere I’d go?” I roll my eyes at him, taking another stick from the box and offering it to him, which he declines almost immediately.

“I didn’t know you smoke,” Baekhyun mumbles while he watches me flick the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. “That’s not really good for your health, or mine, since you’re exposing me to secondhand smoking.”

I chuckle at him quite lowly, looking up to the dark sky filled with stars, which I don’t often get to see back at home as the light pollution in the city is crazy. “Tell me something I don’t know, Baekhyun, then I might be interested to listen. And you’re the one who came up here, you’re free to go and save your lungs, mister.”

I expected another smart response from him per our usual banter, but when I heard nothing, I carefully remove my stare from the sky to look at him, and more than surprise to see him already looking at my face with expression I can’t define.

“W-what?” My voice tried so hard to sound my normal self, but it came out breathless.

He blinks as if he’s snaps out of his trance. “I—n-nothing... I’m just curious...”

I sniff, sitting up straight before smiling innocently at him. “Oh, I like where this is going. You’re curious about my life. Okay, Baekhyun, ask away. I’m so glad finally pique your interest.”

Baekhyun looks like he’s about to toss me out of the roof, so I instantly shut my mouth and smile even more. Then he clears his throat, exhaling heavily. “I’m just curious... I mean I know your name, but from Gran. I know we’re almost the same age, and you’re from the city. However, when I asked Gran about why you’re here, because you’re obviously not here to be a tourist, she won’t tell me.”

My eyes squint at him for a second, and then I proceed to raise a brow at him. “So, you want the tea?”

He tilts his head, seemingly confused. “What tea?”

“Never mind,” I purse my lips, breathing through my nose, trying so hard not to say something ridiculous.

He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m just kidding, I know what tea means. For your information, we’re quite civilized here.”

I exhale in relief, holding a hand on my chest. “Oh, that’s great to hear. I was about to say green tea or chamomile tea.”

Baekhyun laughed out loud, “You’re so lame!” and I had to place my palm on his mouth.

“Shh! You’ll wake Gran up!” When he nods his head, I disgustingly look at my palm, playfully wiping it on his shirt.

“So...” he trails off, poking my arm with his finger. “You deliver eggs to the market, but you use a very expensive sunscreen. You’re not here for a vacation, aren’t you?”

“Not beating around the bush, I see.” I tried to laugh it off, trying my luck that maybe he’d change the topic, but he raises his brows as he waits for my answer. “Well... it’s a long story.”

“I’m done working, so I have all night to listen.” he answers immediately, pushing my shoulder with his. “Come on.”

I exhale through my nose, lifting the cigarette up in the air. “You see this? My dad hates this, and alcohol. I do a lot of both, apparently. So, he threw me out of the house. He also confiscated my credit card and I only had around hundred bucks, so Gran took me in.”

It’s not like I’m not comfortable telling people what I’ve done to get my father ballistic, but I honestly don’t know how to put what really happened in words. I don’t know how to verbalize things, emotions, and such. So, I’m really out of place when Baekhyun waits for another word to come out of my mouth.

“End of story,” I grin at him, hoping that he won’t be able to read my mind.

He looks at my face for a few moments, not leaving my eyes as it feels like he’s staring into my soul, as dramatic as it may sound. “That’s a really long story,” he shakes his head, and the tone of his voice is sarcastic. He stood on his feet and dusted his pants, “You seem no fun. I’m going home now.”

I send him a glare before scrunching my nose at him. “I’m just confirming your assumption of me being a spoiled brat.”

“I never said you’re a spoiled brat,” he quickly denies, looking at me like I have two heads on my neck.

“But you’ve thought about it,” I tease him, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

“You can’t blame me for that though. You keep saying: it’s Rimowa, it’s Rimowa, that I had to search on the internet what the heck is a Rimowa. I honestly thought it was a freakin’ country!”

It was my turn to laugh out loud, and he had to put his palm on my mouth.

The next time I see Baek,hyun it is almost five in the morning. I couldn’t sleep; hence I let my curiosity get the best out of me and went to where the “boats” are.

It’s still dark, although the streetlamps illuminate the path on the way there. As I near the dock, my surroundings come from crickets to men shouting and laughing, I’m not sure anymore, but they’re thunderous.

“Excuse me,” I raise a hand to a middle-aged man who’s about to pass by. He looks confused as he waits for me to talk. “Is Baekhyun around?”

The man's frown fades away. Baekhyun’s name must’ve rang a bell. “Oh, Byun? I think he’s still on Youngtae’s boat.”

There are hundreds of things going through my mind at once, but the most significant of them are: Baekhyun last name is Byun, which I haven’t heard until now—and I do hope that he’s the only Baekhyun in this town, and the other one is, who the hell is Youngtae and how would I know where his boat is?

I know that people in this town know each other like they know the alphabet, but I’m not from here and I’m having quite a hard time adjusting when it comes to this kind of scenario.

I can only chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck before pointing my thumb behind my shoulder. “Yeah... I think I’ll go for now but tell him I said hi.”

The man, who looks really buff and has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, slowly nods his head, perhaps unsure what is happening... as why a woman casually walked to the dock and asked for someone but would leave eventually. “Yeah... sure—you’re not from here, aren’t you?”

I have no idea as to why I did it, but I exaggeratedly sigh—I don’t know, probably in relief that someone recognizes my naïve-ness of this town, even though I’ve been here for almost a month now. “That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah—” he points his fingers on his ear, “locals don’t do that.”

I didn’t understand what he meant at first, but then I realized he was referring to my earrings, several of them. My mouth forms an O shape and I nod my head to his arm as well. “Locals don’t do that either.”

He laughs, extending his hand out for me to shake. “You got me there. I’m Hanjo, but just call me Han, people here call me that.”

I nod my head, giving him a smile before telling him my name. “So, you’re not from here as well?” I ask, genuinely curious if he’s from the city, too.

“So, Byun knocked you up?” he doesn’t even miss a beat and immediately changes the topic, though I did get shocked by his assumption.

“Excuse me?”

Han clears his throat, looking like he sobers from the way I change my tone of voice. “Sorry, that came out harsh. That Byun guy tends to play around when he’s out of town, and I thought you were here because of that.”

I’m still looking at him skeptically, and the corner of my mouth almost drew back a snarl. “Uh, no, we’re just friends—sorry, I can’t stop myself from saying this, but I do not appreciate how you’re addressing Baekhyun.”

“Oh, sassy—you from the city?” he tried to laugh it off, althoucouldI can see that he didn’t mean to be rude, probably just how guys talk, or I don’t know, guys their age.

I opened my mouth, about to say something smart, but I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I look over Han’s shoulder, and it’s a bit of a challenge since he’s quite huge, and see Baekhyun’s surprised, at the same time, smiling face.

“Hey! What brings you here?” Baekhyun pats my arm, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth, he then gives a nod to Han. “Hey, Han.”

“Byun, I thought you’ve dropped out years ago. How can you still score someone from the city?” Han asks Baekhyun, and I had to remind myself that they are both males, and that’s just how they communicate... I hope.

But what caught my attention is Baekhyun dropping out. From what? University? He attended university in the city?

“Come on, Han.” Baekhyun chuckles, though the tone of his voice goes one note down, making him sound so manly. “That’s not a nice way to talk to someone you don’t know.”

“Oh, but we know each other, right?” Han turns to me, calling my name as if we’ve been friends for decades. I can only make a face, turning to Baekhyun as a silent signal to get me out of here. Acouldn’tcan’t be more glad that he got the message instantly.

“Okay! We’ll get going now, Han. Don’t drink too much, okay? Gran wouldn’t be so happy that you’re causing trouble here.” Baekhyun holds my arm, bringing me along with him as he walks away, not waiting for Han to respond.

Baekhyun asks me to wait in his truck while he gets his things from the boat. He comes back not even five minutes later, not beating around the bush, when he removes the thin sweater he’s wearing and changes into a clean T-shirt.

“Okay. Thank you for giving me a show, really enjoyed it.” I tried to play it cool, hiding how my cheeks blush when I saw the curve of his abs. Damn, he’s been working out.

He laughs, throwing his sweater on my face and my nose crinkles at the smell. Sweat and seafood. He starts the car and starts driving, and I didn’t bother to ask where he’s taking me, though I have a hint that he’ll just drive me back to Gran’s place.

“I have a question,” I break the silence, looking at his side profile, and I can’t believe I missed how his nose looks good on this side.

“I had a hunch you have,” he chuckles, not taking his eyes off the road.

I click my tongue, glaring at him for a second. “You said that Gran wouldn’t be happy with what Han was doing. Do they know each other? I mean, yeah, everyone knows everyone here. But you know...”

“Hmm...” Baekhyun purses his lips as he thinks, and I almost coo at how he looks ado; ate, at the same time, almost slap myself for thinking that way. “I’m not sure if I’m in the position to tell you that.”

“Oh, come on. I thought you like tea!”

“Green tea or chamomile?” he repeats the joke I told him the other day, earning a glare from me. “I’m kidding. I’ll tell you, but no follow up question about it, okay?”

I nod my head excitedly like a child.

“Gran is Han’s mother.” Baekhyun simply said, shrugging his shoulder as if everyone should’ve known about this information.

I can only gape athim, before verbalizing my thoughts. “I thought Gran doesn’t have a kid. I obviously guessed wrongly.”

“Kids.”

My jaw almost dropped on the ground, and my eyes went wide as a saucer. “No fucking way. Where’s the other one? Or how many she has?”

“No follow up question, remember?” Baekhyun smirks, raising a brow.

“Oh, come on. You’re no fun!” I groan at him, wanting to slap the smirk off his ,face but he’s driving, and I don’t want to risk it.

Baekhyun laughs this time, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not going to be like you who didn’t finish her story.” That did earn him a slap on his arm, though not forcefully. He whines, rubbing the spot I hit before continuing, “Gran has two sons. Her oldest is out there, conquering the world, and you see Han... you already saw where he is in life.”

My figure stiffens for a while, and it takes me a little while to slowly sit up straight, looking ahead of me. I didn’t want the ride to be weird, so I snickered, giving Baekhyun a playful look. “That sounds really familiar.” lookedlook into each other’s eyes for only a few seconds since he had to focus on the road, and I’m glad he didn’t say anything. But I know. I know that he has a feeling what I meant by that.

The only time a word was said was when I realized that the road he drives on is a different route to where Gran’s house is.

“Where—”

“Consider yourself lucky,” he stops the car on the side of the road, pulling the handbrake before unbuckling his seatbelt. I have no choice but to fo his suit. I jump out of his truck and follow him wherever he’s taking me.

We trek for ten minutes and I’m starting to catch my breath. “Y-you, motherfu—”

“Just wait and see, it’ll be worth it.” Baekhyun claims, and his enthusiasm rubbing on my unfit body.

I sit next to him on a bed of grass with little white flowers all over it. “You didn’t even ask me if I want to be driven back to Gran’s house, or if I want to torture myself by hiking before six in the morning, without breakfast, mind you.”

“Hey, be appreciative, can you?” he bumps his shoulder with mine. “This is secret hideout. I brought you here because you look like you’re turning into a panda—what the hell happened to your eyebags, seriously?”

His tone was playful, and I’m aware he was. He’s only doing it as a part of our normal banter-slash-daily conversation, but I smile sadly, shaking my head. “It’s nothing...”

“Hey, come on,” he sighs, scooting closer to me, “I just gave you a tea that I’m not supposed to talk about. A little trust here, please?”

“I’m—I—” I exhale heavily, biting my bottom lip, contemplating for a while if I should be talking about this to someone I barely know. But then, he has been there for me despite being a jerk at first. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”

He nods his head; judgment is absent on his face. And I take it as a good sign that he’s listening to me. “Did it start when you arrived here?”

I shake my head, starting to f my tears forming on the brim of my eyes, and I’m more than surprised because I can’t even remember the last time I cried.

Was it when my parents didn’t attend my middle school graduation? Or was it when no one remembered my sixteenth birthday?

I don’t know.

“Two, three years ago? I don’t know—I honestly can’t remember.”

Baekhyun heaves a deep trembling breath, trying to look calm as possible. “Have you got it checked? Are taking medication to help you sleep?”

I shake my head once again, looking ahead. “No. My dad will know since I didn't really have money of my own and used his card back home. He checks all my transaction, and I’m scared that they might found out about it.”

“Then, how do you cope?”

I shrug my shoulders, turning my head to look at him, giving him the most genuine smile I can ever give, although it’s a sad smile. “Alcohol makes me sleepy, and cigarette soothes my nerve.”

He doesn’t say anything for a good minute or two, and I’m starting to get worried about how I shouldn’t have told him my troubles, but when he spoke, his voice is much calmer, soothing, and quiet. “Now I know why you were always up to learn how to ride a bike in the middle of the night.”

I laugh at his statement, the corner of my eyes crinkling in the process. “Yeah... I couldn’t sleep so , I might as well tire myself out.”

“Is it also why you were at the dock?”

I nod my head, “Yep, decide to take a long walk then try to go to sleep. But I saw where the dock is, and the rest is history.”

Baekhyun hums before patting me; his mouth curves up into a gentle smile. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.”

I don’t know what to say or how to react. But all I know is that I’m glad I told him what happened to me. My eyes didn’t leave him for a minute until he tilted his head in the direction in front of us, asking me to look at it.

I didn’t even realize how long we’d been sitting there. The dark sky slowly turns golden. Rays of sun start peeking out at the line where the sky meets the sea. Seagulls start singing like they did when I first arrived here in this town, the sound of waves of the ocean hitting the shore... it’s incredible.

I hold my breath, mesmerized by the majestic viewthe of sunrise in this partthe of the country. My first instinct was to curse to express how gorgeouswast is, but Baekhyun cuts me beforcould can even open my mouth.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

My head turns to look at him, a huge grin on my face to show how much I agree with his statement, but when my eyes get the sight of his face getting hit by the soft ray of sunlight, I am lost for words.

Words wouldn’t come out between my lips, and I feel like I turn into a rock when I force myself to look away from him.

It feels like I can’t look at anything else but him.

Beautiful indeed.

A month in this ,town and I’m handling it quite well than I expected on my first day.

Of course, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with unicorns every single day. I’ve had a fair share of bad days. Although most of them were nothing serious, I could still say: Tomorrow’s a new day!

But nothing compares to what happened when Jisoo asked me to hang out, and she’d tour me around the town—properly, as she clearly claimed.

Don’t get me wrong, it went well. She’s probably one of the kindest people around here, next to Gran, but then again, everyone in this town is friendly and welcoming.

I didn’t have the bicycle with me that day because Jisoo insisted on picking me up from Gran’s house and we went around the town in her sedan. And when the sun started to set, she offered to drive me back to Gran’s and of course, I agreed because I don’t have the will in me to walk that far, but surprise, surprise, Baekhyun’s truck pulled up on the side of the road, honking noisily to get our attention.

I’m aware of his little crush on Jisoo; he made it obvious the first time I met the latter, and he made it obvious again this time.

Of course, I brushed it off, reminding myself that we have nothing going on between us and convincing myself that I don’t have anything going on for him—and I really do hope I’m doing a great job on that.

However, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was splashed on my face when I heard their conversation.

“Chivalry is not dead, Baekhyun?” Jisoo giggled, pushing Baekhyun’s shoulder with her hand, and the man had the cheek to blush. “Always ready to pick her up, huh? Never seen you put an effort to a girl before.”

“Oh, it’s not like that...” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s from the city, and I’m doing Gran’s a favor.”

At that moment, I had to rethink if I had the stamina to walk all the way back to Gran’s. I wanted to be alone, but Baekhyun literally pushed me inside his truck.

He might be thinking that I’m just being sulky since I do that quite often when I lose every time we bicker. He acts normal as if he didn’t say those words earlier about me, being well aware that I was around and could hear them perfectly.

I close my eyes and pretend to take a rest while he tells a hilarious story from his day job. Though I’m pretty tired, I still have some energy left in me. I just don’t want to see his face.

But Baekhyun is quite smart. He figures out three later. Okay, that might be long for others, but I’m still civil with him, to the point no one notices how I tried so hard to avoid him unless necessary.

I may not be academically smart, but I can be quite observant. I’d be up extra early to finish the errands Gran listed out for me the night before—she doesn’t usually do it, but I kind of forced her to, so I’d know in advance what I’d be doing for the day.

Then, when he’d come over unannounced, I’d go feed Gran’s animals their second dinner.

Everything was going well for me until I got invited to hang out with Jisoo and her friends. I really wanted to say no, but Gran looked so happy when Jisoo came knocking on her door.

“Oh, dear, it’s alright! I’ll pack the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You can heat it up when you’re still hungry once you’re back.” she said when I tried using her meatloaf as an excuse for me not to go.

That’s how I met Jongdae, the talkative but gentlemanly guy; Minseok, their hyung who’s always looking out for others if they have enough beer in their system and send them home.

I’m really bad with names and can’t remember most of Jisoo’s circle, but they keep talking to me because, apparently, they’re Baekhyun friends and heard about me from the man himself.

“Why is he not here, though?” Curiosity got the best of me when Baekhyun’s friends were were here, and of course, Jisoo’s here. “Did he not get an invite?”

Jongdae laughs and slaps my shoulder like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Minseok chuckles at the sight before taking a swig of his beer. “Baekhyun’s always invited. In fact, he’d be there before you can invite him. But we don’t know—said that he’s not feeling well or somethin’.”

I frown upon hearing that. He seemed fine when he dropped by this morning at Gran’s. “What—is he sick?”

“He’s sick alright,” Jongdae snorts, drinking his beer, and Minseok nudges him with his knee. “Hey—you know what? Let’s take a picture to capture this moment.”

My expression twists at the sudden change of subject, nonetheless, I force the best I could ever give as soon as Jongdae put his phone an arm away after switching to the front camera. “Say: Baekhyun’s sick!”

I didn’t follow him, though I did manage to sneak an eye roll before he hit the capture button.

“Send it to me, I’d like a copy,” Minseok says, taking his phone out from his pocket. Jongdae nods his head, tapping the screen of his phone before gasping out loud.

“What?” Me and Minseok choruses.

Jongdae turns to us with wide eyes, “I mistakenly sent it to our group chat instead of personal message. Okay, I’m going to put my phone to DND before someone spams me.”

I roll my eyes once again but can’t fight the smile spreading on my lips, thinking how ridiculous yet fun experience it is to hang out with these guys. While Minseok looks like he’s going to smash his bottle of beer on Jongdae’s head. “Can you stop being so dramatic for once?”

The night is filled with laughter, beers, and some fun games that, I must admit, are fun. I don’t think I can remember the last time I enjoyed the company of being around other people, or people in general.

I’m on my third bottle of cold beer, chatting between Jongdae and Minseok, when the bottle in my hand magically disappears. I haven’t had alcohol for quite a long time—no judgment, that I’m already tipsy. I was about to fight anyone just for a bottle of beer but was met with Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Oh, that was fast!” Jongdae cheers, pertaining to Baekhyun. He claps his hand and pats the space beside him for the guy to sit.

But instead, Baekhyun motions me to scoot a little so he can squeeze in the space between me and Jongdae. And of course, that receives a grunt from us.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him in a small voice, though his two friends definitely heard me as they both snicker at the same time.

Before Baekhyun could answer, Jisoo appears in front of us, holding her own drink and a bit red, probably from drinking too much—she’s not very subtle with her drinking, but I guess everyone needs a little loose from time to time, no one’s judging.

“Baekhyun! I thought you couldn’t make it!”

I’m not interested in seeing their interaction as I’m already sulking as it is, so I tried to reach out for my beer that’s still in Baekhyun’s hold, but as soon as my fingertips touch it, he clicks his tongue at me, giving me a warning look.

Jongdae crosses his legs, leaning on his hands to look at Baekhyun mockingly. “Oh yes, Baekhyun. I thought you said you were too tired and not feeling like it?”

He really does look tired, and I’m also confused as to why he’s here. But he just kicks Jongdae’s feet and glares at Minseok who frowns because the guy is literally younger than him. “I don’t trust you guys with alcohol.”

“Pssh!” Jongdae dismisses him by waving a hand on his face. “We both know that’s a lie. You trust us the most.”

“He’s drunk,” I murmur, which receives a hum of agreement from Baekhyun that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.

He turns his head a little to the side to peek over his shoulder. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath tickling my lashes. “You?”

I shake my head a little, my words getting caught in my throat that I have to put an effort to respond to him. “No, not really.”

Jongdae couldn’t stop his excitement and let out a high pitch laugh that caught the attention of other people around.

I’m the one who breaks the eye contact, clearing my throat before looking the other way. I see Minseok already giving me a small smile, wiggling his brows. He manages to murmur, “adorable,” before drinking his beer.

If I heard that a few weeks ago, I’d probably have had the same reaction when Gran said the same thing. But now, I can honestly feel the heat creeping up from my neck to my cheeks. I’ll just use the alcohol as an excuse if someone notices.

As more empty bottles scattered around the area, few people gathered where we are, and not to mention they decided it was a good idea to put me on the spot to ask questions—thanks to Jongdae who practically announced that I’m a tourist here.

“So, wait,” A girl named Bomee slurs, tilting her head as she speaks, “your dad threw you out because you drink a lot?”

I seriously need more alcohol in my system before I can answer her honestly. But Baekhyun here wouldn’t give them back every time I’d get a new one, and he’d give it to Jongdae instead who, I believe, puke couple times already.

“Sort of?” I answer carefully, shrugging my shoulders.

“Then why did you keep drinking if your family hates it?” A guy named Jaebom chimes in. And Bomee hisses at him for being so insensitive. Though, I don’t mind because all my mind can process is how they seem to be invested in my story.

“Well—how do I explain it?” I exhale through my nose, biting my bottom lip, and my leg started to bounce, feeling a bit anxious if I should answer the question.

But then I feel something on my bare knee since I’m wearing shorts. I shift my focus from Jaebom and glance at my side. It was Baekhyun’s thigh. He keeps his gaze ahead of him but left his thigh on my knee.

The corner of my mouth lifts for a second before pursing my lips. It’s probably time for me to let this out, as to why I did what’s been done. To what really goes on my mind that no one bothered to ask.

Until I arrived in this town.

Until I met these people.

Until I met this man who oddly calms my storm.

“I’m not really the favorite child,” I start, giving them a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “The most common misconception is that if you’re the youngest, you get attention, love, everything. But that doesn’t apply to my family.

“I don’t remember it well, but I had a good relationship with my father until I started school. He immediately saw the difference between me and my older brother. He’s way smarter than I am. He’s polite and I get in trouble from left to right even without trying.

“My dad started to compare me to my brother as we grew up, and I believe that’s the main reason why I developed resentment towards my brother. My mother... she doesn’t care, she never did. She’s always been busy with her charity events that would make her look good to the public, and of course, her friends.

“However, despite their busy schedules, they’d clear everything to attend my brother’s graduation, school events and such. But they’ve never been on mine. That’s probably the reason why something in me snapped when I was in high school.

“I was in the wrong circle. I got in trouble for drinking and smoking. It wasn’t my attention, but for the first time, my parents went to my school, although for a reason that’s nothing to be proud of. I misunderstood the rebellion just to get their attention.

“But now I’m in my last year for my undergrad, it just became an escape. I no longer care for my parents’ attention, but I became dependent on alcohol to sleep, and cigarettes to calm down. And to be honest, I’m scared to get checked—because what if something’s wrong with me? Who’ll take care of me? I can barely hold my shit together. Or will it worsen my situation in our house? As they’ve already seen me as a burdensome.

“So, yeah. I’m here because I don’t have anywhere else to go. I bought a train ticket without knowing anything about the destination. Don't get me wrong, your town is freakin’ awesome, exquisite, but I’d sell my soul for a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right now.”

I end my speech with a deep, trembling sigh, forcing myself to give them a smile, but it immediately drops when I see most of them tearing up, especially Jongdae who’s already hammered.

“Hey—what the heck, you guys.” I chuckle awkwardly, sitting up straight to look at them one by one. Jisoo even had to excuse herself as she cries, while Jaebeom looks at me apologetically, “I’m sorry. I—I shouldn’t have had ask you that...”

“No, no!” I walk over to them, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. I try to calm them down, but Jongdae, being dramatic as he is, starts to sob, talking to himself as he thanks his parents for loving him despite being such a headache.

Minseok looks at me fondly, though there’s a hint of pity and sadness in his eyes. “This is such a good reminder to be kind. We don’t know who’s struggling silently, and what we can only do is to be kind.”

I smile at what he said, nodding my head in agreement. “Be kind.”

Baekhyun finally gives up around two in the morning. I’m about to bid him good night but then he waits for me to get on my feet. “What—why?” I whine, not wanting to leave as I’m honestly having fun joking around with his friends and others.

Baekhyun sighs my name, dropping his shoulders. “Please? No one here will drive you home; everyone has alcohol in their system—no, Jongdae, you’re too drunk to drive, just sleep here.”

I groan loudly, giving him a glare. Nonetheless, I wave goodbye to everyone, promising that I’ll see them again soon.

I sit on Baekhyun’s truck, rolling down the windows so the chilly night breeze will hit my face soothingly.

“You okay?”

I can only grunt in response, resting the side of my head on the window frame.

“Sure? Or you’re too drunk to tell?”

“Baekhyun—” I close my eyes before pursing my lips. “I only had two bottles because you won’t let have any as soon as you arrived. If I was drunk by two bottles, I’m sober enough by the window time you kept snatching all bottles in my hand.”

He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, and I do admit that I feel a little guilty about it. “H-hey, I’m sorry. I can make a U turn if you want to go back—sorry...”

I gnaw my bottom lip, wanting to slap myself for overreacting to something not big of a deal. “No, it’s fine. Just keep driving.”

He keeps driving alright. I’m in daze when I realize that it’s not the way back to Gran’s house, and we’ve been on the road for almost an hour—and that’s without traffic!

From trees and the shallow sound of waves crashing to the shore, my eyes meet with bright lights and buildings—though nothing compared to the big city, but my heart couldn’t stop fluttering seeing such familiar sight.

“Baekhyun, where—”

“You said you wanted cheeseburger,” he simply said, not even letting me finish my question. “And this is the nearest one from the town.”

And boy, did I wish to still use the alcohol as an excuse when he saw how red my face is, but then I remember how I mentioned that I sobered enough. Dumb.

Fortunately, he doesn’t say anything. Just a subtle smirk on his face, and he shakes his head a little.

Two cheeseburgers, ten pieces chicken nuggets, two large drinks and fries to share, we are seated on the back of his truck with the tailgates opened, in an empty parking under a starry night sky.

“Wait—so, you’re telling me you attended an Ivy League in the city?” I ask him with wide eyes, unable to believe the information I heard about him. We are talking about life and stuff, and I finally convinced him to tell something he hasn’t told me before.

Baekhyun casually takes a huge bite of his burger before nodding his head. He looks up to the sky for a few seconds before meeting my curious eyes. “Yeah... got a scholarship and stayed there for two years.”

“Holy crap, so you’re really smart! Damn, I could barely pass a minor subject. What the heck, Baekhyun? Why did you stop?”

He chuckles, flicking the tip of my nose with his finger. “Slow down, woman. You sound too excited.”

“Of course, I am!” I huff, reminiscing about the time when I dreamt of attending an Ivy League, but my GPA didn’t cooperate.

Baekhyun gives me a soft smile, eyes dancing around my facial features. “Is it the lighting here or you’re extra pretty today?”

I must admit that it did make my heart go crazy, and the butterflies in my stomach dance, or whatever crap people call it.

And it didn’t help when he chuckles huskily upon seeing my reaction. “I didn’t like it. It was the first time I had been away from my family for that long, and people were so different. Life was too busy, and the pressure of a job title right after graduation was insanely unrealistic.”

I nod my head in agreement, totally understanding his sentiments, especially now I’ve lived in his town for a month. I saw, experienced, lived the life they have. Quiet, simple, and peaceful.

Contentment.

Contentment is the city will never have.

“I was studying Psychology, and I was really interested in the subject. It was the environment I couldn’t keep up,” he continues, “now I’m twenty-four years old, living in his parents’ walkout basement.”

“And you’re happy,” I smile at him, and it makes him stare at me, unblinking, he then mirrors my smile, though his was wider and the corner of his eyes crinkle.

“That, I am.” he grins widely, and it makes my heart flutter seeing him like this. “I’m delighted you used and instead of but.”

“Oh, of course,” I shrug, smiling more widely than I already am. I honestly didn’t think about that—it just came out naturally. “But hey, can I ask you something personal? And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like telling me.”

Baekhyun nods his head, turning his body to face me, his legs touching my outstretch limbs.

“Why did you hate me so much the first time we met?”

That seems to catch him off guard. He pulls his head back before pursing his lips. “Y-you sure Gran didn’t tell you? Or you just want me to put on spot?”

I look at him weirdly before shaking my head. “No, I’m genuinely curious. You went apeshit when you barely know me. You were an ass—sorry. Anyway, Gran only told me it’s about something businessmen wanting to take the town.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, exhaling heavily. He takes the last bite of his food and crumples the wrapper before putting it aside. “Okay—it’s no secret in the town that Gran’s eldest son is a very successful businessman.”

I gape at him, eyes getting wide. “I didn’t know that!”

“Well, you’re not exactly from the town and—” he only stops talking when I glare at him. “Moving on, when I was still in the city, I met a girl—why are you looking at me like that?”

I didn’t even realize I’m frowning until Baekhyun pointed it out. I instantly wipe my annoyed expression that automatically came out when he mentioned a girl. Since when did I become possessive? We’re not even together romantically. “What look?”

Baekhyun looks at me skeptically, though he’s unable to hide that little smirk on his face that I’ve been wanting to slap off.

“I met this girl—we’re not together anymore so calm down—”

“I wasn’t even asking—”

“You want me to continue or not?” he raises a brow in my direction, and I sigh in defeat.

“Sorry—continue.”

“So... I took her to the town to tour around, and of course, to meet my family. I thought it went well because you know, it’s normal for people to take pictures and document everything. However, I never thought that it would take a drastic turn when her short clips posted on the internet became viral and several investors immediately came to examine the area. And surprise, surprise! Gran’s eldest was one of them.”

I’m listening to his every word carefully and when he mentioned how the town became viral, it came crashing to me as why it sounded familiar back in the train station at the city. I now remember passing by a short clip a couple years ago.

“Gran’s sons are sort of estrange to her and her late husband. So, when he found out that his mother lives here, he thought he had better chance than other men in suit.”

I nod my head, slowly absorbing much information in the middle of the night. “And I’m guessing Gran hated the idea?”

“Hates it. She got angry at her son who didn’t contact them for years, and had the audacity to ask them to convince the people in town to sell their land to him. But more importantly, she cares for everyone in town. What will happen to locals if hotels and resorts are all around?”

I did hear from Gran about what happened with her husband about a year ago, and now I’m connecting dots. “Poor Gran...”

Baekhyun sighs, looking up in the sky. “Yeah... Gran and Pop-pop were everyone’s favorite grandparents in town. When Pop-pop passed, it took a toll on all of us. You met the youngest, Han, and he’s not really someone you can rely on, even when it comes to his parents. So, we promised Pop-pop that we’d take care of Gran then the next day, he’s gone.”

My mouth curves down and I look at him with sadness in my eyes. I just can’t imagine what they’ve been through. “I’m so sorry...”

But Baekhyun smiles at me, patting my cheek as an assurance. “It’s okay. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize as well. You didn’t deserve that. I was an ass, damn right.”

“Well, forgiven since you bought me cheeseburger and chicken nuggets.” I giggle, raising the wrapped greasy burger in my hand.

Baekhyun laughs as well before straightening his back. “And for your information, this is all me. I’m doing no favor to anyone.” he bumps his shoulder with mine and I bend my neck a little to meet his eyes.

“What...?” I raise an eyebrow to him.

He clears his throat before speaking, “Should we now talk about us?”

Taking a bite in the middle of this kind of conversation is not really ideal. But in my defense, I didn’t know he was going to say that. My cheek protruded with the burger still in my mouth while I look at his eyes, unsure where this conversation would take us.

“W-what about us?”

His expression hardens, but it quickly vanished when he realizes I’m quite lost with what he’s going to say. “Gran’s animals will be overweight the next time you avoided me when I come over.”

“Oh.” was all I could say. I drop my shoulders and sniff, looking ahead of me. “Don’t worry about it. There are times I could get extra sensitive—I’ll get over it.”

“No, baby, I—” he lets out a deep trembling breath, sighing my name afterwards. “Sorry, that just came out.”

I can’t do anything but to smile awkwardly, mumbling an, “It’s okay.” Because no one has ever called me that kind of endearment without intimate intercourse before.

It’s weird... yet nice.

“Okay. I—Gran stopped forcing me to help you when you bit my ear. She thought that it might get us both on each other’s bad side further. She made me apologize but that’s it. Hasn’t ask anything since then.” Baekhyun huffs out, asking me to look at him, and I did. “I just see you in a different light now. I don’t know when it started. Maybe when you started making jokes about your stupidity with riding a bicycle—or when I finally had the chance to get to know you better on Gran’s roof—minus the smoking.”

I was about to hit him with my fist, but I’m so glad I didn’t, and chose to let him finish what he’s about to say.

“What I’m saying is... you make me shy, edgy—those stuffs, and I’d blabber the idiotic thing I could think of. I’m sorry.”

“I—uh...” there’s a lump in my throat that’s hindering me from responding to what he just said. Though, really, I’m just out of words. “Okay...”

“Really—that’s it? Okay?” his face went blank, eyes getting droopy as ever.

“What do you want me to say?” I counter, my voice gets higher. “I thought you like Jisoo. So, you know? I didn’t think about it that much.” Lies. But who’s letting him know? Obviously not me.

“I didn’t say I like her—”

“You were ogling at her, Baekhyun!”

“I’m aware it was inappropriate, but she was wearing a low-cut shirt and flashing her cleavage on my face, okay? I’m sorry if you misunderstood it.”

“Mind you, I offered to show you my boobs in exchange for some bike lessons and maintenance, but you were too prim back then.” I argue, crossing my arms across my chest, purposely lifting them up to be visibly in better shape. “But I guess Jisoo’s cleavage makes you shy and edgy.”

“You—” Baekhyun groans, rubbing his face tiredly. “You’re so stubborn, aren’t you?”

I shrug my shoulder, taking a bite of my burger... angrily. “I’ve been told. But thanks for the reminder.”

Neither of us said a word for quite some time. We are just seated next to each other at the back of his truck while I finish the food because apparently, I’m too stubborn. What he didn’t know is that I can be stubborn and hungry.

In all honesty, I do like Baekhyun. He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before. He makes everything around me brighter. He makes me see colors. He makes me realize that life can be beautiful.

Especially now he admits that he initiated everything he has done for me without Gran’s presence. And it’s a lot to take... though in a nice way.

However, I’m not going to deny the fact that I’m quite hesitant since I still have to go back home. I still have a year left in university. And I don’t know my career from there. I’m not even sure if my dad will take me in to work in his company, nonetheless, dropping out just like that is not part of my initial plan.

If we ever, stating out a huge possibility, got together, in just a few weeks, we’d cater to a long-distance relationship that rarely works for other people. What are the odds it’d work for me... for us?

And I believe coming out clean about the uncertainty must be verbalized to Baekhyun to be fair.

“I still have a year left in university, Baekhyun,” I murmur, glancing at him at the corner of my eye and see that he’s looking at me intently. “I need to go back to the city before semester starts.”

I see the small frown between his eyebrows as he absorbs my intention. “That’s it?”

Now, it’s my turn to narrow my eyes to him, clenching my jaw as I face him properly. “What do you mean by that’s it? I’m not dropping out—”

“Who said about dropping out?!” he cut me off, his voice got way out of control and can be considered as yell. He notices how I jolt on my seat, leaning my body away from his. He exhales through his mouth, calming himself before speaking again. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to shout. But can you hear me for a second? Because it looks like I’m the only one who’s willing to make us work.”

I open my mouth to counter his words, but nothing comes out, coming to a realization that he’s right. I roll my eyes at him just to show him I’m not mad or something. I grumble, “Fine.”

He smiles at me fondly, scooting closer to me. He snatches the food wrapper on my lap, putting it aside, before grabbing my hands. And I swear to God, my heart almost couldn’t take when he places his puckered lips to my knuckles, kissing them lightly repeatedly.

This man really knows how to sweep me off my feet.

“I like you, a lot.” he admits, smiling sheepishly and I don’t miss the shade of red on his cheeks. “It’s embarrassing how much I think of you in a day. I thought I was just worried about you because you’re not from around here. But then I started looking for you even if we were in the same room. You listen to my stories without judgement, you laugh at my jokes even when I know they’re not funny—I don’t know. It’s just... I like you, and it’s too early to say if it’s love and I don’t want to scare you, but I just want you to know, I’m willing to get there.”

I didn’t know I was holding my breath until Baekhyun calls my name. I blink several times to snap out of it. “B-Baekhyun, I—” I swallow the lump in my throat when my voice cracks.

“Before you say no,” he cuts me off again, smiling kindly. “I just want to let you know that I will never cheat on you even where you’re in the city and I’m here. I will make sure to give you peace of mind every day.”

I look at him longingly, gnawing my bottom lip with my teeth. Unable to find the right word to say, or more likely, unable to come up with a decision to my dilemma. “That’s a huge thing to say, Baekhyun...”

He sighs in relief when I finally said something, although it’s not a yes, but he just looks glad it was not a no. He grins widely, interlacing our fingers together and placing them on his lap. “It is. But that’s to prove my conclusion on how much I like you. I’m surprise as you are.”

I finally let out a chuckle, hitting his chest with my fist, though with not much of force but he still grunts. “Anything else I should expect from you?”

Baekhyun looks like he’s going to cry in relief when I said that, and I feel bad for acting so distant that it stresses him this much. He closes his eyes for a few seconds with a wide smile on his mouth before responding to my question. “Hmm... let me see. Well, I’m quite good in bed.”

I know he meant it as a joke since that’s just how we always communicate, but he looks so surprised when I agreed in a heartbeat. “Okay, I’m sold.”

“Wait—seriously?”

I nod my head, grinning innocently at him, or at least I’m hoping it to be. “What can I say? I have needs.”

“No, baby—” I thought he’s going to take back the endearment, but the butterflies in my stomach flutters when he doesn’t. “I mean—okay, that’s good to know, I’ll make sure to take care of you. But are you serious—you’re not playin’ with me? You’re saying yes?”

“Yes, Baekhyun,” I thought my smile couldn’t get any wider, but it does. “I like you—though, I can’t say if I like you a lot as well, but—”

He had to give me a death stare to make me shut up. I giggle, getting the courage to throw my arms around his neck, giving his cheek a smooch. “I like you a lot, Baekhyun.”

When I pull my head back, still in his arms, we are inches apart, staring at each other’s eyes then to our lips. I can’t help but sigh when our mouths finally meet. I climb to his lap, hands on his shoulders, while he holds my waist.

His lips are soft and warm. Like a hot towel after a shower during winter. Comforting. It almost tastes like hot cocoa on Christmas evening. Sweet and satisfying.

We had to cut everything and pull away from each other when I felt something beneath me. Baekhyun looks embarrassed and uses my tongue as an excuse for his hard on. I laugh at him, getting off his lap but not before giving his mouth another kiss.

He looks beyond surprised, yet excited, when I ask during our drive back, “Hey, can I stay over?”

It’s my first time seeing where he stays. Since it’s a walkout basement, it has its own entrance a few steps down from the main ground.

It’s tidy, except for the unfolded clothes on the armchair at the corner, and he has a typical twin-sized bed, and a few clutters on the wall shelves on the other side of the room.

He asks for two minutes while he cleans up, though what he’s done is to just hide the clothes in his closet and smoothen out the bed sheet.

Somewhere along my pun, “Are we going to fit in there?” referring to his bed while laughing makes me hot in an instant when he said, “I can top so it’d be fine.”

I try to laugh it off, sitting at the edge of the mattress. “I only meant to sleep here, but you seems to have another idea in your head. I’m not sure if I like it.”

With what he said a while ago, he has the audacity to blush, stammering with his words, “H-hey! You’re the one who shoved your tongue in my mouth. I thought—”

I’m wheezing from laughing too much, holding my stomach as it starts hurting. I cough and catch my breath when I glance at his pouty face, watching me make fun of his conundrum.

“I’m just kidding, come here,” I extend my arm, reaching out to him before flopping on the mattress.

Baekhyun makes me feel loved, special, and cherish me as a woman as he kisses my body while peeling my clothes off my body. He never forgets my emotions while getting into his desires.

I appreciate his time to set the mood by touching me like I want him to, tasting parts of me like a starving man. Then asking for consent before proceeding to enter once he secured protection.

No one had bothered to ask me on my previous experiences.

That night, I can consider it as my first time making love.

My first time feeling loved.

He kisses my mouth when he comes, then makes sure I’d reach my peak afterwards. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexually satisfied, but I definitely won’t forget this one.

Our foreheads lean on each other as we bask in our warmth and presence. We kiss each other’s mouth, nose and cheeks, giggling with each peck. And my eyes close blissfully when Baekhyun bends his neck to kiss my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before sighing.

I can feel his heartbeat on my chest when he does that. Whatever I’m feeling, he’s feeling it too.

Baekhyun’s right. It’s too early to say it’s love, but same as him, I’m willing to get there.

That night was the first of so many nights we’d spend together.

No one can beat Gran’s reaction when she found out that me and Baekhyun are together-together. She said that she didn’t expect it since she saw how we fought, bicker, and threw nasty words at each other that it gotten to a point where it got physical—my fault, sorry.

She gushed until the word came to almost everyone in town. I’m no longer Gran’s visitor as they once called me. I’m now Baekhyun’s girl.

Baekhyun is probably the sweetest, at the same time, manliest man I’ve ever met. Okay, I’m exaggerating but I’m so proud to call him my boyfriend.

It’s no news that I could say that I grew up without a man figure in my life even though I still have a dad, and I’m not really close with my older brother. And I’ve dated quite a few back in the city.

But with Baekhyun... damn it’s different. It’s good different.

Back in the city, it was only sex, alcohol, look cool together, sex, move on to different person, and repeat.

I mentioned to him that he’s like my first real relationship, and it boosted his ego. I have no problem with it since Baekhyun might know how to piss me off, but he’s never crossed the line, and I can’t see him doing it.

That’s the thing about him. He’s too respectful. At first, I was skeptical, thinking that he’d done something, and was just acting like that to prepare me for the worst. “Of course, I ought to treat you right. We’re together, aren’t we?”

It’s shameful to say out loud, but I gave him head that night.

Also, Baekhyun didn’t wait a week, or even a day, for me to meet his parents. It was awkward since we fell asleep the first night we got together in the basement and were awoken by his mother knocking on his door. I suggested waiting it out and I’d hide under his bed or closet, but he brushed me off, asking me to wear one of his oversized T-shirts before opening the door.

His mom was cool about it, in fact, she even asked us to go upstairs to the main floor to have breakfast. There, I met his dad, who looked so happy his youngest son got laid. No word was spoken to say what happened; it was just that obvious, even Baekhyun’s older brother kept wiggling his eyebrows to us.

Oh, of course, sex is great. He really proves he’s good in bed. The only struggle we had in the first week was with where to do it without any hindrance. Because apparently, “Baby, you’re adorable, but please—you’re such giggler.”

I didn’t even get mad at him when he said that. Instead, I laughed even more, and he had to put his mouth on mine since we were at his place and his family was right above us.

Since I’m quite ticklish, I had to learn to control my reaction when he’d run his hands on my bare body. That happened when he sneaked on Gran’s window on the second floor where I’m staying. I was about to sleep but felt the air mattress dipping beside me then an arm wrapped around my waist.

Gran is a light sleeper, so I had to bite my lip and swallow the noise down my throat. Imagine the person who’s taking care of you inside their house caught you having sex in the mattress you both struggle to inflate.

That'd be embarrassing.

But most of all, my favorite moments with Baekhyun are when we’d just lie on bed, or his favorite hangout spot where the golden sunrise view is always spectacular. We’d be in each other’s arms, appreciating the comforting silence.

In our clothes, yet intimate.

Though, I’m not discrediting him for his ideas of dates. I’ve never been to sweet ones, so he makes sure he’d put his best effort, like picnics, walking on the shore with shoes in our hands while the sun sets in such beautiful collusion of red and yellow colors. Or if he doesn’t have work, we’d hang out on Gran’s roof to stargaze.

We still bickered, yes, but it was nothing serious. Mostly, just to make fun of each other until one gets pouty and sulky. But that’s mostly me because I do like his affection when I’m pouty and sulky.

Baekhyun is becoming my favorite person, and I’m not complaining even a bit.

And not to forget there’s the simple, domestic kind. You know, just hanging out at each other’s place. Doing things normal people do.

Mind you, I haven’t done the dishes, laundry nor folded clothes—or any house chore, in my entire life. That was until I arrived here. I must help Gran at her house because that’s the least I could do for someone who put roof under my head and food in my tummy.

She did have a hard time teaching me basic things but there was nothing that could stop me from learning. Even if it means cuts, burns, and even bruises. Those were just small boo-boos and they healed in a few days. Now I have started enjoying doing the laundry or folding clothes with Gran’s old music playing in the background.

Hence, when Baekhyun dropped by one late afternoon to inform me that he had work in the nearby town and wouldn’t be home until the morning, I decided to pay his place a visit.

Right after dinner, I told Gran that I’d stay the night at Baekhyun’s, and she looked confused since she knew that he was out of town but let me go anyway.

It was not the first time I’d be staying at his place even when he was not around. This usually occurs when he’d be working in the dock, and I’d wait for him in his basement. I already know where the spare key is, and let myself in.

As expected, a pile of clothes was still sitting on the armchair in the corner of his room. He may be tidy in other things, but not when it came to the business after washing machine. I tied my hair in a ponytail and got to work.

His mom even came down to check since she heard noises and thought it was someone else. She offered to help but I assured her I’d be fine. She looked at me fondly, telling me that I could go upstairs should I need anything.

His clothes neatly folded in his closet, his bed sheet was nice and clean, and his floor was vacuumed and mopped. And I was spent.

I never expected anything from him in return every time I’d do these kinds of things, but he just does.

Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers, or sometimes he’d take me out of town to eat the food I was craving. But my preferred is his simple kiss on a cheek and a, “Thank you, baby.”

Orrr... occasionally, I’d prefer a kiss while sleeping in his bed as soon as he got back and cuddling through the morning.

Baekhyun does the same. When he’s not working, he’d help me at Gran’s place. From simple chores to heavy ones.

Just like today. It's Sunday and I told Gran that I will stay to help her clean the house. I still haven’t turned on my phone, so it feels almost magical when Baekhyun appears out of nowhere. Most especially now that the roof needs to be cleaned.

The day was almost perfect until Han suddenly came in from the back door in the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him, and he gives me the same sass.

When he found out I’ve been staying as a guest at his mother’s, he got agitated since Gran doesn’t even give him a room to stay, but she’s giving one to a stranger. Although Gran still feeds him when he’s around. A mother will always be a mother. Can’t relate, to be honest.

I’m dusting the living room when Han decided that it was a good idea to rant to his mother. Well, I heard about how hates his older brother, yet wants to experience the kind of wealth the brother has. Gran doesn’t look bothered, nor pleased with the subject, but I don’t want to butt in especially it’s family affair.

I go upstairs instead to let me ear rest for a while before I have to hear Han’s voice again. Walking inside the room I’m staying in, I peek out the window to see Baekhyun on a ladder leaning against the side of the house as he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter.

“Hey there, baby boy,” I lean my arms on the windowsill and give him a playful suggestive look because I know how annoyed he gets with the pet name.

He groans loudly and I can’t help but to laugh, “Stop with that weird crap, please!”

“What do you want me to call you then? Daddy?” I raise a brow at him before squinting my eyes to annoy him even more. Kidding aside, I just got goosebumps upon saying that word. No, nuh uh. Will never ever repeat that, ever, again.

“Ugh! Baby—”

“Mom! They’re not cleaning, they’re just flirtin’!”

I jump on my feet when Han’s loud voice and when I look over my shoulder, he’s standing there with a bowl of cereal that I bought with my own money.

In the background, we heard Gran yelling, “Leave them alone!”

I raise a brow to Han to piss him off and he threatens to hit me with a spoon. Baekhyun’s voice can be heard from outside the window while he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. “Han, please don’t do that to my girlfriend.”

I plastered a smug face to Han because, even though he’s almost double the size of Baekhyun, the latter is surprisingly an expert in some kind of martial arts that instantly flew over my head the second I heard it. Was it wushu? Taekwondo? Karate? I don’t know... oh! Hapkido! I honestly don’t know anything about it, but—yey! Supportive girlfriend here.

Han scoffs before rolling his eyes. He then points the spoon to the boxes in the corner before walking out of the room, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just clean this up.”

I truly want to say something back to him, but Baekhyun calls my name to calm me down, because he knows how much I get triggered when Han does this kind of shit. “Just leave the boxes there, baby. I’ll carry them down once I’m done here.”

“What am I going to do then?”

“Just stand there and look pretty for me,” he grins widely, the corner of his eyes crinkling in the process. Although I roll my eyes at him, I can’t hide the small smile on my lips that’s slowly spreading.

I ignore him and walk towards the boxes that have been left untouched, thus dusty, since I got here. Baekhyun once told me that Gran and her husband moved here more than a decade ago from their hometown to live a quiet life. But being the good parents they were, they still brought their sons’ pictures and memorabilia of them.

By the third box, I hold my breath since the surface is very dusty and I’ve been sneezing like crazy. And instead of helping me or anyone in the house, Han just sits in the living room while watching the television with his feet up on the table.

As I’m about to approach the back door by the kitchen, the bottom of the box gives up and the contents of the box scattered on the floor. Fortunately, I hear no breaking of glass, so I internally sigh in relief before groaning out loud, crouching down to pick them up.

“Need help back there?” I hear Han ask from the living room.

“I mean, if you have a kind heart within you, why not?” I respond sarcastically that earns a hearty laugh from him.

We start picking up the items and they’re mostly framed pictures and a few documents. The last time to be picked up is a picture frame facing the floor. My hand casually reaches out to it and even makes sure that the frame is still intact.

In a split second, my facial expression drops, and I can feel how my heart starts thumping almost loudly in my chest when I flipped the frame in my hand.

There is a photo of Gran and her husband with a young man in a graduation gown, seemingly fresh out of university, flashing a wide smile on his face for the camera.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Han interrupts my thoughts and I raise my head to look at him with wide eyes. “That’s my hyung. He’s not a ghost yet, but he’s dead to us.”

I can’t find words to say nor get any of my muscles to move. However, I did feel how my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably, and my breath becomes ragged. With all the energy left in me, I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, holding it for few seconds before exhaling heavily—a technique Baekhyun taught me to calm myself down in case I feel like my thoughts are winning against me.

“Oy—you okay?” I feel Han’s hand on my shoulder as he tries shaking me a little bit, and I nod my head a little bit.

I croak, “Y-yeah...”

Han looks hesitant, grabbing the frame out of my hands and settling it down on the counter, and does what he thinks is the best solution: call for his mother. “No, you’re not—Ma! C’mere! She’s not breathing!”

Even with my condition, I still found the strength to glare at him as he can definitely see that I’m still breathing, though heavily—almost hyperventilating.

Baekhyun obviously heard the commotion, and he arrives first, clumsily and almost tripped from how fast he ran. He pushes Han aside and holds my face in his hands. “Hey, baby... breathe, come on. Follow what I’m doing.” he starts breathing in pattern, showing the basic skill to live, slowly, so I’d be able to grasp.

My mouth starts getting numb and my body gets a bit heavier as well as my eyelid, but my mind is very much conscious that I know how Gran gasps loudly when she gets in the kitchen, seeing me in perhaps limp state.

“Hey—damn it!” Baekhyun shakes my body as he curses my name, trying to get my eyes open when they’re about to close. “Look at me, come on. Breathe, please—Han, get a paper bag or somethin’!”

Even with my eyes getting blurry, I’m still able to see Han looking so confused and unmoving on his feet. “H-huh—what for?”

“Just fuckin’ get it!” Baekhyun yells. And I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him cuss—well... except when we’re in bed, but that’s another story to tell.

Han hastily looks for one and hands it to Baekhyun. The latter immediately places it around my mouth and instructs me to breathe as he counts the seven second rule. I lift my eyelid to look Baekhyun in the eye as I try to normalize my breathing and he smiles at me when he notices I’m following him, and my muscle slowly relaxing and the tension is slowly fading away.

My hand finally raises to hold Baekhyun wrist that’s holding a paper bag on my mouth. I pull it away gently and he sighs in relief, pulling me in to kiss my cheek and wrapping his arms around my figure. I whisper an apology right to his ear and he just shakes his head, continuously caressing my back to give me much comfort I need.

Han also exhales loudly, holding a hand on his chest. “Phew! You scared me back there, kid.”

Gran also sighs in relief; her eyes are teary, and her hands clasp on her mouth, thanking heaven that I’m fine.

I send them both an apologetic smile before taking another look at the picture on the counter as I peek over Baekhyun’s broad shoulders.

He, the man in the picture, might looked younger but I know him very well. Those bright and hopeful eyes in the past have turned into dreadful pairs; the wide smile when he was young was now a scowl; his sun kissed skin had become pale and wrinkly. I’m bewildered that his once seemingly cheerful soul is now lifeless.

I may add one more reason to probability as why our he prefers Kyungsoo more than me. He really did look like him when he was his age.

It’s already evening, a few hours after the incident, and we are all seated in the living room. I’m at the end of the couch, coddled up in a blanket and leaning my head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, while Gran and Han sit on the armchair across from us.

The picture frame now sits on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as I stare at it, while the three of them still have no idea what happened earlier, and what’s going on right now.

“Dear?” Gran finally breaks the silence. I lift my head from the picture to look at her. She has the gentle smile she always wears, and my heart breaks when I’m starting to absorb all the details, I’ve gotten from the moment I arrived in this town up to now.

What are the odds of this happening? For real?

I put my feet down on the floor and raised my head from Baekhyun’s shoulder. I clutch the blanket on my lap so that my fingers start to turn white from how tight it is.

“Gran,” I had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry by uttering only one word. Baekhyun places a hand on my back and that’s more than enough encouragement for me to continue. I point my index finger to the frame on the coffee table, “That—that man is your eldest son?”

Before Gran can even open her mouth to answer, Han clicks his tongue impatiently, “What’s this all about?”

I decided to ignore him, focusing on Gran who looks lost for the first time I met her. “Gran...” I bit my bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to roll down my face. “When you saw me at the train station... did you recognize who I was?”

That makes Gran narrow her eyes as she recalls the day she approached me. She then shakes her head slowly. “No, dear. Your face was unfamiliar, and you really did look like a tourist as I remember.”

I nod my head, acknowledging her answer, before stating my full name out loud, making the three of them confused as ever. I extend my hand to reach out for the picture and shows it to her and Han.

“And this man,” I sniff, pursing my lips before plastering a half-smile in Gran’s direction, “is my father.”

The next morning, I’m awoken by the birds chirping outside the window and my head laid on Baekhyun lap while his fingers comb my hair. He’s sitting up on the air mattress and blankly looking ahead of him.

“Hey,” I call out to him, and he instantly snaps out of his trance. “Did you sleep?”

“Good morning,” he bends his upper body to give my lips a quick kiss before returning to his previous position. He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling weakly. “I tried but couldn’t.”

Guilt crashes through me when he said that. Now I doubt any of them fell asleep. But I did. Like a log. Which should be surprising owing to the fact that two months ago, I needed alcohol to fall into slumber.

Last night, Gran was speechless, and she told everyone to discuss things tomorrow since it had been a long day for all of us. Han was quite useless if you may ask me, though let’s spare him for now as he really looked beyond shock yesterday.

Baekhyun had to call to say that he wouldn’t make it to work last night and stayed with me. Hence, I sleep like a baby.

My mind is running thousand kilometers per hour again, and I almost jolted out of bed to look for the family picture taken when I was in middle school that’s been hidden inside my wallet just in case they might think I’m just playing with them. But someone knock on the door and Han’s voice speaks on the other side, “We’ll be downstairs.”

Baekhyun and I quickly wash up before dragging ourselves back downstairs where we left off last night. However, contrary to my expectation, that Gran would still looks gloomy like last night, she’s back into her cheerful self, setting the table with pancakes, eggs and bacon—wait, is that Han in an apron?

Gran then holds my hand and makes me sit, and I look at Baekhyun who looks dumbfounded as I am. He shrugs his shoulders before taking the seat right beside me.

Remembering that I brought with me the photo I’ve been keeping in my wallet, I fish it out from the pocket of the shorts I’m wearing, handing it to Gran who freezes for a second before accepting the photo.

Gran's eyes become teary as she smiles sadly, placing a hand to cover her mouth before walking towards Han to show him the photo. She walks back to hug my head on her chest, dropping a kiss on my hair. “I only dreamt of meeting my grandchild.”

Han made fun of me throughout breakfast on how I looked ugly crying, and of course, the braces I had back in middle school. Gran is so happy that she wouldn’t let go of my hand and ask about Kyungsoo whom I was thin thread close on forgetting.

“He sucks, Gran,” I casually respond, sipping my OJ. “But he’s smart, so you’ll be proud of him, nonetheless.”

The three of them laugh out loud at what I said, and I can’t stop smiling from how my heart is full by this sight. Gran and Han asked questions about my childhood, but mostly it’s just Gran and Han would just butt in to get on my nerves. He may be my uncle, but it will never erase the bond we created at the first place to piss each other off.

“Uh-oh,” Han suddenly said, looking at Baekhyun with a mischievous grin on his face. “What are you going to do, Byun?”

Baekhyun’s expression instantly drops, and his eyes widen in realization that I can’t understand. “Shit.”

“What?” I ask Baekhyun to look for an answer, but he looks like he’s contemplating his twenty-four years of living. Then I turn to Han when I get nothing from my boyfriend. “What the hell is happening?”

However, Han just gives me an innocent smile, raising his mug with his pinky lifted in the air.

“Gran?” I desperately ask the last person who might explain to me what Han meant.

The poor lady shakes her head at those two men, before turning to me. “Baekhyun here got carried away when your father tried to bribe people to sell their land to him. The two of them may or may have not exchanged nasty words.”

I gape at Baekhyun who’s ready to apologize but turns baffled when a grin slowly shows on my face. “Oh, shoot! It’s an early karma for my dad! Like, you probably know what’s going to happen and took an early revenge.”

Baekhyun looks at me like another head grew on my neck, totally taken aback. “What...”

Han’s laughter booms around the house that I swear the walls shook when he did. “No need for DNA test. You're really your father’s daughter.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” I huff, scowling at him.

“Byun, just a warning—run while you still can.”

“HEY!”

After all the commotion, Gran asks me to go to the living room to discuss something important. She specifically told Han and Baekhyun to leave us alone in the house since we both know the two have them have the tendency to eavesdrop.

“My dear...” Gran reaches out for my hand, giving it a gentle pat. “I’m so glad you’re here. I still can’t believe the miracle that just happened. Your dad... he—”

Gran shakes her head before sighing deeply. “You might notice that your Pop-pop and I were not present in your life. Your dad used to be a kind-hearted soul, gentle and loving son to us. But money took those traits of him away. I can count in my hands the time I’ve talked to your father since he moved out. He became estranged and even got married without us knowing.

“Before you or your brother came, we visited him in the city from our hometown, in hopes that we could at least grab lunch with our son. What we didn’t expect was for him to be embarrassed at the sight of two old people from the countryside. He didn’t shame us publicly, but he did tell us to stop seeing him, especially in his work.”

A tear escapes my eye before rolling down my cheek when I heard how my dad treated his own parents. I know I’m not close with him myself, but I can’t see myself sending old people who would travel hours just to see me. What the fuck, dad?

“He did send money through his secretary,” Gran continues, smiling sadly, “saying that it should be enough and there’s no need for us to bother him in person. Your Pop-pop got really angry with your dad and threw his secretary out of the house when he came by to drop a check.

“That’s why we moved here, to stay away from our eldest son’s radar. Sadly, he didn’t even bother to look for us. And I believe Baekhyun already told you about the story when he found out we live here.”

Despite my sorrow, I purse my lips and close my eyes, ashamed that we’re caught in act gossiping about other people’s lives.

Gran chuckles, leaning forward to caress my cheeks. “You have your father’s eyes, my dear. Don’t let the kindness in you be gone, okay? For your Gran?”

I lean on her palm, smiling widely before nodding my head. “I won’t, I promise.”

She nods in approval, dropping a quick peck on my forehead. “Now, I know your father threw you out of his house, but he’s still your father, dear. You’ve been away for two months. He’s worried.”

My shoulders quickly drop, realizing that she’s right, at the same time, I’m scared that they’re not even looking for me, and probably celebrating that the nuisance of the family is out of the house. “I don’t know, Gran...”

“My dear... your Pop-pop used to cry at night worrying about your dad, if he was eating well, or if he was safe having big names as his competitors.” Gran says, encouraging me to be a bigger person. “I’m not going to stop you if you want to stay here. You’re more than welcome, you know that. But for your beloved Pop-pop's sake, please at least let your dad know where you are and that you’re safe. He might’ve been cruel, but he’s still a father. But I will not deny how disappointed I am about the slap you mentioned. And if he doesn’t want you, as I’ve said, you have me... you have us here. And if you want to finish your studies, I’ll help you.”

I think about it for a few seconds, coming to realization that Gran’s word makes sense. I let him down and he doesn’t want to see me, he made that clear, it won’t hurt if I let him know that I accidentally travelled five hours away from the city, meeting my paternal grandmother who turns out to be the sweetest and kindest soul that made my inner child feel loved and cared for.

I know I said before that no matter what happens, I will still finish my undergrad in the city. But do I really want to go back to the city? If you’d ask me two months ago, or even a month ago, I’d answer yes in a heartbeat, but now... I don’t know anymore.

Gran is here. She’s old, and I truly want to be with her, take care of her. I’m being realistic when I think about the years she only has left. And I want to make up for the years my dad, her son, wasn’t around to be spend time with them. Gran and Pop-pop's children were too busy growing up that they didn’t realize how their parents are growing old too... and now Pop-pop's gone. I want to be there for Gran.

And Baekhyun. The person who taught me that love can be golden, and not black and white.

We might have had a bad start, but for the short time we’ve been together, he made me feel something I’ve never felt before. He listens to my thoughts, understands my sentiments, and has never judged my past. He makes sure that I won’t feel alone in this world anymore by his words and actions. “You have me—you will always have me. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will always be by your side.”

When night comes, I’m left alone in the room I’ve been using for a little over two months now. I finally have my phone that’s been left untouched since then. The charger is plugged as I gather courage before holding the power button.

When the familiar logo on the screen lights up, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, and when I confirm my pin on the lock screen, my hands start to get clammy. I set the phone down and watch the number of messages coming in as minutes go by.

Some of them are from my former friends in university that I don’t bother to read the preview and scroll down further on my inbox. Most of the messages are from Kyungsoo, asking my whereabouts, spamming me with concern questions, frantically searching for me since none of his friends or my so-called friends don’t have any idea nor have seen me since I left home. He mentioned in his messages repeatedly: Where are you? / Do you need money? / I’ll send you money if you need it. / Mom and dad are worried sick. / Call me, please.

But a particular message makes me cry in an instant as soon as I see whom it was from.

I hope you’re safe and eating well. Dad | Received 11:07 PM

I’m sorry. Please come home. Dad | Received 5:06 AM

Gran is right. No matter what, he’s still a father. My thumb hovers the call icon on the upper right corner of the screen, closing my eyes and swiping left instead, making the screen go back to list of messages and tap the one with my brother’s name on it.

It rings three times before I heard his voice on the other line. “What the fu—where are you? Please tell me you’re still alive.”

“You’re smart and dumb at the same time. How can I make a call if I’m dead?” I chuckle, though shakily as I couldn’t stop sobbing after hearing Kyungsoo’s voice for a long time. “I—I’m okay... I’m sorry for making you all worry.”

“Are you still in the country?”

I nod my head then remember that he can’t see me. “I am.” And I had to stop myself from saying: I only had a hundred bucks when dad threw me out. What country can I afford? Republic of Poverty? Thank goodness I realize that it’s inappropriate to get sassy with him at this moment.

I heard rustling of sheets from his line and I’m guessing he’s getting out of bed. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

“I—” I can’t stop choking a sob, leaning the side of my head on my palm as I cry. “I don’t want to go back, Kyungsoo.”

“Huh—what?! Wait, let me get dad and mom.” Then followed loud steps he takes as he strides to where our parents are. There was a commotion on their side, and I heard my mom shrieking, “Oh, my God!”

“Sweetheart?” It’s my dad’s voice, and I haven’t heard him call me any endearment since elementary. “A-are you okay? Please tell me you’re somewhere safe...”

I snivel, wiping my tear-soaked face with the hem of my shirt. “I’m okay... I’m okay—I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey—shh... it’s okay.” My dad hushes on the other line, and my mom’s crying can be heard in the background as well, chanting a very soft, “Where is she? Where’s my baby?”

“Tell me where you are, sweetheart. I’ll come get you.” And I heard Kyungsoo saying that he’ll come too. “We’ll come get you. We’ll be okay.”

“I—” I take a deep trembling breath before continuing, reminding myself what Gran told me. “I’m here at Gran’s.”

There’s a pause on the line before my dad asks, “Where?”

“I’m here at your mother’s, dad. Gran. She’s been taking care of me for the past two months. It’s a long story, but we just found out recently that we’re related.”

“You—you’re at my mother’s place?”

“Yes,” I answer firmly, deciding to let him know about my plan. “And I want to stay here with her.”

This time, it took him almost a minute to answer. I’m biting my nails in anticipation about what he’s going to say, however, all I know is my decision is final.

“Go get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

The next morning, when my dad said we’d talk, I thought that another call would come in, or I would have to call them back. However, when Han came knocking at Gran’s front door during breakfast to inform us that he’s here along with my mom and Kyungsoo, I wanted to hide somewhere, realizing that I’m not ready to see them as I was expecting myself to be.

I’m engulfed in a hug by my mom as soon as she comes in the door, and my dad following behind her. He looks like he’s fighting back tears, pursing his lips while he raises his hand to pat my head.

However, his demeanor fails him when Gran walking in the entrance of her house, smiling sadly at his son, my dad, who instantly breaks in tears before walking towards his mother for a hug. I lost count of how many times he apologized to Gran, and when he pulls away, he says, “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.”

Having no physical affection for my brother growing up, I stand in front of him awkwardly with a twisted face. “Do we need to hug as well?”

Kyungsoo scoffs, shaking his head with the corner of his mouth curve up in a small smile. “You fucking moron—” he pulls me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my body. “I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have said those words when I didn’t mean it.”

I return his hug, burying my face on his shoulder as I cry. “I’m sorry too. And thank you for offering to send me money, I really appreciate it.”

He laughs out loud as he pulls away, giving the side of my head a playful smack. “From all of the things I texted you, that was the only thing you remember.”

I grin widely, “Of course.”

There was a long catch up with the family, more specifically Gran and his two sons. My dad and Han finally sat down and talked by themselves in the living room, while my mom and Gran chatted in the living room.

I brought Kyungsoo to the barn behind the house, letting him meet my fellas for the past two months and I can’t help but smile that he is enjoying feeding them. Never in my life had I imagined I’d see my brother carrying a bucket of chicken feed while throwing them on the ground with his bare hand.

I was smiling while I watch Kyungsoo do the things he’s unfamiliar with when I’m suddenly lifted from the ground and spined twice. The strong grip around my waist is too familiar for me not to know who it is, and to think that there’s only one person who’s been doing this to me.

“Good morning, baby,” before I can even react, Baekhyun places his mouth on mine for a chaste kiss. And if it isn’t for the burning gaze at the back of my head, I’ll return his kiss with the same fondness.

And I guess Baekhyun realizes that because he pulls away with a scowl. I raise my brows to him, silently telling him about Kyungsoo behind me. Fortunately, he got the message, and his eyes followed where I’m referring to.

“Oh, hi there,” Baekhyun casually greets Kyungsoo with a nod of his head. He then turns to me, “Gran’s guest?”

“Uh...” I peek over my shoulder just to see Kyungsoo’s squinting his eyes on me. He knew what I’ve been doing in the city, and words won’t be enough to explain how much he hates it and rats on me every single time. Though, I’m praying that he’s not seeing Baekhyun in a different light and thinks that he’s a one-time thing while I’m here in this town.

Then I turn to Baekhyun with an awkward smile, “Yes...? Some sort, but he’s also my older brother.”

I watch how my boyfriend’s face turns into horror, facing Kyungsoo with wide eyes. I haven’t told him about the phone call since he had work last night and stayed the night at their house since his mom needed him for something.

“My parents are also inside the house—but hey!” I try to break the tension with a laugh, clapping my hands in the process, “I’d like you to meet Kyungsoo, he’s my older brother. Kyungsoo, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend.”

Kyungsoo looks at me weirdly, like he’s not expecting me to say the word: boyfriend. And I roll my eyes at him, nudging my brows to Baekhyun’s directly to tell: Yes, he’s my boyfriend. Shake his hand or I’ll break yours.

Fortunately, they did introduce themselves in a civil manner. Although my worry leaned towards my brother who’s been up my butt since we were kids, however, Baekhyun must really have charm over people, and they look like they are having a decent conversation.

When my dad and Baekhyun faced each other after their infamous heated argument back then, I thought I was going to pee my pants. Dad didn’t look so happy that I’m dating Baekhyun, but my mom did look surprised yet happy that I settled into a real relationship with someone. She got too excited and babbled, “Are you guys thinking about marriage?”

And the horror on all our faces, especially my dad who’s about to burst, but I’m grateful he didn’t say any insult to the person I care about romantically.

Han nudges my dad’s arm with his elbow, and I still can’t believe that the two of them are on talking terms again after the story I’ve heard here and there. “Hey, hyung, I know you don’t trust my judgement, but I can vouch for Byun right here. He’s a good guy and I never see him hurting your daughter. The opposite actually. He’s been taking care of her from morning to night since day one.”

I send Han a grateful smile, and I glance at Baekhyun to see he’s doing the same. Han may be a jerk at times, likes getting on our nerves, but I’m really, really glad he appreciates and doesn’t turn blind eye at Baekhyun’s effort.

Gran nods her head in agreement, “Yes, Baekhyun here never left her side even though they didn’t get along at first.”

I look at Gran with huge eyes, and she smiles at me innocently. She could’ve left the last part out. Seriously.

“Sir, may I tell you something?” Baekhyun chimes in and all attention turns to him. My leg bounces anxiously while I wait for his next words. “I’m in love with your daughter, and I respect your opinion as her father. But I will still stand with what I’ve said two years ago.”

Han closes his eyes, palming his face. “You could’ve stopped with you respect him as your girlfriend’s father, you fuckin’ idiot.”

I peek over my lashes to see Baekhyun’s expression. I’ve never seen him so serious, firm and... he kind of looks hot. What the hell am I thinking?

But wait! Did he just say he’s in love with me? Wait—what?! My eyes that are ogling at him go wide as saucer and a squeal threatens to escape my throat.

“You don’t have to worry,” my dad finally speaks, having the same expression as Baekhyun. “I will not go stand between you and my daughter.”

And I almost laugh out loud when all of us sigh in relief, even Kyungsoo looks like a ton of weights have been lifted off his shoulder.

“But you, young lady,” he continues, pointing a finger to my direction. “I understand that you found someone here, but is that enough reason you don’t want to go back and finish your degree?”

“Huh? What—you’re not dropping out!” And now it’s my turn to get the attention. I jut my bottom lip to Baekhyun who looks visibly upset.

“Okay! Who wants to help me make lunch—I think everyone. Come with me to the kitchen!” Gran cuts the tension between us, and all of them immediately stand up, except for my brother who looks interested in the conversation that’s about to happen. If it’s not for our mom who had to pull him by his arm forcefully.

Baekhyun opens his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything. “Okay—first of all, I want to stay here with Gran. I’m not dropping out because of you.”

He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. A habit of his when he’s annoyed. “You’re not a good liar, you know?”

I open and close my mouth several times before settling with a sigh, defeated. “Okay, you’re right. Gran’s part of it though. So, don’t get full of yourself.”

“Baby—” he groans, ruffling his hair this time, and he sounds so frustrated. “This is such a bad timing to say, but I love you. I really love you, that means I want the best for you.”

I whimper when I finally hear the three words no one has ever told me. “Baekhyun, I—” I inhaled sharply, “I love you too. And you are part of the reason why I don’t want to leave this town. I now don’t know how not to be with you. Please...”

He had to close his eyes when look at him with tears running down my face. “Please don’t cry.”

“You dropped out of college and turns out just fine, why can’t I—”

“No, I did not turn out just that,” he grits his teeth and realizes how strong his reaction was, so he reaches out for my hands and holds them. “I—I have to juggle several jobs a day to make ends meet. I may be fine with it but for you, my love, I want nothing but the best.”

“But—”

“I know you’re capable, I’ve seen you since you arrived here. You’re the one who said before you don’t want to drop out, and I’m asking you to honor your words,” he drops a kiss to my knuckles then on the corner of my mouth. “And I’m not breaking up with you if that’s what you’re assuming. I’ll always be here, I told you that. Just one year. If you still want to be here, then I will not stop you. And if you decide that you’ll stay in the city, and God forbid, with a new hot guy, then I’ll support you.”

I chuckle at the last part of his sentence, “But you’ll cry if that happens, right?”

“I’ll cry, drink until I vomit, and ogle at someone’s cleavage.”

“Hey!” I smack his chest with my fist, and he laughs, pulling me to his chest before wrapping his arms around my body, kissing my temple afterwards.

“So, one year?”

I contemplate for almost a minute, before pulling away a little just to look at him in the eyes. “We’ll still see each other, right?”

Baekhyun nods his head, displaying a gentle smile on his face. “If time permits, I’ll go to you. And if you have nothing going on, you can come here. We can also Facetime every day if you want.”

I try to say something funny about Facetiming every day but realizing that I won’t be physically with him every day saddens me. Baekhyun’s been my light and I’ll be stepping out to the world again without him this time. It scares me, but for him, I’ll do it.

I cried until nighttime that day. My family left me alone with him, knowing that we’d be separated in a few days. He held me close and made love until the soft rays of light peeked through the windows. Keeping our mouths on each other while chanting our love to one another.

“I love you.” We said to each other with a last kiss for a while.

It’s different now.

My life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees since I came back to the city. I can’t remember the last time I drank alcohol or the last time I lit up a cigarette.

I’ve been eating dinner with my parents and brother, telling each other’s day and just catching up, or ranting if someone’s day had been difficult.

I also got part-time jobs here and there, earning my own money instead of being too reliant on my dad’s credit card. I don’t even use it anymore. I’ve also been hanging out around people who make me a good person and forgetting the people whom I used to know.

Coming out clean to my family about my struggle with my thoughts, I also started going to therapy and they’re supportive of it... of me.

And yes, you might wonder where he is. Well, you see—

I’m just kidding. Baekhyun and I are doing great. He’s been visiting at least twice a month, and I go to visit the town when I have a long weekend. Though our time together is short unlike before, we always make the best out of it. You name it, dates, sleeping in, or you know, it’s me we’re talking about so sex will never leave the conversation when it comes to our relationship.

Gran also visits, specifically on special occasions and holidays. The three of them travelled to the city for my birthday, and it’s going to be my favorite for a long time.

When Christmas came, Kyungsoo and I went to visit the town since our parents had made prior arrangements months ago, hence they were unable to cancel. We decorated the Christmas tree and received allowance from Gran and our uncle, Han.

We’ve come to an agreement that it was the most fun Christmas we had in our entire life.

Time flies so fast that I didn’t realize graduation was approaching right around the corner. My dad sat me down to discuss my decision and assured me that whatever it might be, he’d support me.

I told him that it didn’t change. He smiled and told me that he was expecting it. He then proceeded to discuss his plan to help. He said that I could reject his offer, but he’d be happy if I accepted it.

I immediately got into a call with Gran, telling him about Dad’s plan to invest in Agriculture in the town instead of building hotels and resorts. Gran asked me about my thoughts on it, and I told her that it could help locals get more sources of income, and the focus would be on them.

Gran sounded so happy and agreed. I didn’t understand why she kept thanking me, but when she said, “You changed everything for the better,” I bawled my eyes out.

After graduation, I told Baekhyun that I’d be staying in the city for a week to think. You know... because it wouldn’t be me if I’d boringly tell him I’d stay for good in town.

I almost told him that when he looked visibly sad during our daily Facetime, but I’m glad I held my ground.

It was only five in the morning when I arrived. I drop my things at Gran’s and hop on my cruise bicycle to his basement, my face getting hit by the once unfamiliar but now loved cold breeze when the sun hasn’t risen yet.

With the spare key in my pocket that he had given me, I open the door and see his silhouette sleeping soundly in his twin-sized bed. I remove my shoes before closing the door behind me. I slowly walk to the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up as I lift the blanket and sneak beside him... Baekhyun.

But my efforts went in vain when he groaned and lifted his head. His eyes look droopy as he stares at me confusedly. “Love?”

I grin at him, leaning to kiss his lips. “I’m home.”

The surprised look on his face makes the dimmed basement brighter. He hugs me tightly and kisses parts of my face repeatedly. “Welcome home, my love.”

Yes, home...

This is my home now. He is my home.

And it’s brighter now.

#baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun angst #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun imagine #exo #exo smut #exo imagines #exo fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #exo scenarios

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 1 year ago

Text

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 10.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M (Mature Content)

Word Count: 6.6K

Warnings: Some smut-ish situations. Edging but this time it’s you, not the characters. Angsty angst is angsty. Some trouble in paradise.

A romance between two adults with an unspecified age difference between them, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay

Tag List: @andimoon @his-mochi-cheeks

Links: Part 1, …… Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

“I said I don’t like you meeting him.” He was staring ahead at the screen with a darkness in his eyes and his jaw was clenched down tight.

“Assistant Byun-” He physically flinched when he heard it. You felt a burning inside your stomach, “I can handle it myself.”

———

You could deal with Chet. He was nothing to you; insignificant and small. You didn’t need to avoid him and you definitely didn’t run away from your problems.

Instead of closing the window, your fingers flew over your keyboard typing out a quick curt response that would put an end to it for good, both the pushy unsolicited and unreciprocated behavior from that man and as for this man, the one standing behind you, having straighten his spine back up, pulled himself into a standing position and was now watching you with his arms firmly folded over his chest; perhaps this would put his mind at ease that no, you didn’t actually have any interest in meeting with Chet, and no you weren’t actually doing anything to encourage this and avoiding it would only make things worse.

You hadn’t yet looked up at him, but you could physically feel him watching you right now.

‘Please follow the appropriate channels to request a meeting and refrain from contacting me on any matters unrelated to work.’

You hit send and watched the message get delivered. After a few moments you saw the moment the message was seen by him and you watched for a few more seconds as no reply came.

Delivered and received. It was done. That should be it. Any normal human in a professional environment would accept this as the end of something. Something that was nothing.

You were staring at your computer screen, working up the nerve to look at him.

Something in your stomach had turned sour. Perhaps your lunch didn't agree with you.

Baekhyun made a sound beside you, it was a slow exhale from his nose. It pulled your eyes to him and he was standing just at the edge of your desk looking down at his thumb that ran a path along the wooden surface again and again.

You watched his eyes and he wasn’t looking at you but his mind seemed quite occupied in his own silence. His head ticked a bit and he worried his tongue inside his closed mouth, swallowing quickly before biting down on his bottom lip for a moment, his eyes still fixed on the desk.

Was he upset?

Or were you upset?

The sour feeling in your stomach surged a little and you swallowed it down. You knew that he didn't like Chet. You knew that he didn’t like you having to interact with him. Baekhyun had taken offense when you’d rebuked him, calling him out by his title and basically telling him to back-off, that you could handle your own battles. Was his problem that he didn’t trust Chet or did he honestly think you were somehow a helpless damsel? You refused to entertain the idea that somewhere in his mind lurked a worry that you would purposefully meet with Chet, or purposefully put hopes into that man’s mind.

The silence had nearly been going on for too long. You could see, if you looked very carefully, you could see a fast approaching line between when this would be a silly little memory you could look back on with him and laugh, and when this could potentially snowball into some sort of misunderstanding that could derail his faith in you, or your faith in him.

“Baekhyun—” you started speaking to him, not entirely sure where you were going, but needing some words to come out anyway.

“I’m sorry—”

“I’m sorry,” you heard his voice sound out over your own at the same time. His sudden apology halted your own words but he heard yours because his head was shaking back and forth in tiny movements as he rolled his eyes around his head and licked his lips again.

“No, I’m sorry. I was out of line.” He said it quickly and just under his breath. You hated this. You hated the uncertainty of it all. The walking on eggshells and the careful and delicate way you both had to behave as you figured out each other's personalities and limits of what was acceptable and what was not. Laying down the boundaries of this new relationship felt like an insurmountable undertaking and left you weary and exhausted just with the thought of it.

There were things he obviously didn't like. And there were things you didn’t like. Your own autonomy being questioned or worse, silenced. You weren’t hopeless. You had never once needed someone to fight your battles for you.

There were things you could work on too. Your own self esteem and accepting him for the social, friendly, sometimes overly friendly popular guy that he was. The rumors from the bathroom were fresh in your mind and you would still feel the sting of what they said about you, but you knew they had to be baseless.

This man was so open with you though. He was standing here, apologizing to you for a very human reaction of wanting to protect the one he loved.

But what about him? Couldn't you also protect him?

“Baek, I will do my best to not meet with him unless work related and unavoidable. I don't even want to, and I think I’ve made it abundantly clear to him. I understand that you don't like it and I’ll do everything in my power to respect that.”

He was looking into your face now, watching your lips as you spoke out your promises to him and at last — at last you witnessed the moment when that darkness in his eyes cleared. He blinked slowly at you and you saw the tiny pull at the corner of his lips.

“You’re so cool,” he said quietly and his lips changed into the smallest pout as he pulled his top lip in between his teeth and pushed his bottom lip out.

“How do you do that?” He said after a few moments of silence. “You’re like the fucking boyfriend whisperer.” He’d taken a step closer to you and another. This was behind the desk; this was not allowed. His body language felt too casual; almost as if he’d forgotten himself and it set off alarm bells in your head. His hand dropped and you felt his fingers land just over your shoulder, touching you lightly and there was a definite incoming motion of his face as it closed in on yours. This was bad.

You saw him leaning and you knew what this was.

Some more gullible members of your team might think he was leaning to whisper something in your ear but you knew what an incoming kiss looked like.

“Oh - nope,” you said out loud. You took immediate evasive actions; spinning around in your seat to face the opposite direction, you stood, and took two large steps away from him. You found yourself out from behind your desk, having abandoned the man back there by himself.

Another step took you to the far corner of your office and you looked up at the rows of books you kept on the shelves along that wall. Of course you were not looking for anything, you didn’t even have a plan for why you were over here but you knew that he almost just kissed you with the blinds open and an office full of people just outside of that window as potential witnesses.

“I forgot where I was,” he said softly, hanging his head down for a moment still very much behind your desk with his hands crossed behind his back.

The close call had your heart racing and you grasped through your memories for anything that could get you out of this office.

“Don’t I have a meeting somewhere?”

You knew he mentioned several things that were happening after lunch. Your attempt at a distraction was weak. Baekhyun watched you for a few moments in silence before inhaling to speak.

“It’s not for thirty minutes but we could head out right now and just…walk very slowly up the stairs if you need to get out of this fishbowl.”

“I hate the stairs.” The words were out quickly; your genuine opinion of the thought of walking up 5 flights of stairs.

“Yeah. I know. So does everybody else.” His follow-up comment was tossed carelessly and oh so casually in your direction and he was packing a bag with meeting essentials; your laptop; a few documents and final print-outs for attendees.

His cheeks had darkened a shade and you watched his face the entire time he busied himself with the bag.

You’d been seduced by this man enough times to know when you were in danger. This was at work.

This was entirely and unequivocally against the carefully explained, survivalist rules you’d set forth with him as one of the conditions of beginning this secret relationship.

“Baekhyun.” You spoke his name clearly, “That’s a bad idea.” But his shifty eyes refused to meet yours and he was making his way toward the door. Really? Nothing?

You felt it then; that thick syrupy feeling inside your chest. You had to put a hand over your chest to steady your breathing as your fought through it.

This was not allowed.

You should not, absolutely should not be in any secluded part of this building alone with this man. What was he even thinking?

“Baekhyun,” his name left your lips this time in a scandalized whisper but he had already opened your office door and he was moving quickly on his feet, through rows of cubicles, passing a few of your team members who didn’t spare him much of their attention.

You had little choice but to follow. He had all of your meeting materials and you hadn’t even paid enough attention to your schedule this morning to know what meeting it was you were headed to.

You quickened your pace to catch up with him and he was headed to the far north end of the building’s stairwell. It was the most secluded and least used one in the building. Your mind was racing as you followed his quick steps. Your heart was beating even faster at the idea of that unimaginable temptation that laid behind that door throwing you into a tizzy.

He was still faster than you were and before you could stop him he pulled the door open and disappeared behind it.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw that door close behind him.

You had already evaded one kiss today, but to purposefully put yourself into a situation? Inside your head a timer was counting. He would have stepped inside on the landing of the stairs by now. He would have his hand on the railing and his steps would be paused as he waited for the first sign of you. Would he be waiting right behind the door perhaps? Ready to pull you in for a needy and passionate kiss?

You touched the smooth metal of the handle of the door. You knew better than this.

You had also known better than beginning a romantic relationship with your own personal assistant; something that was so much against company policy that there were entire paragraphs written about the ramifications and legal consequences of an inappropriate relationship between direct supervisor and their subordinate in the employee handbook that you had signed years ago. You’d known better than to allow your heart to grow so soft and weak to him that you’d thrown out every bit of common sense you had in your head for the chance to love him and to be loved by him.

You pulled on the door and you stepped inside, all the while knowing better than this.

Inside the stairwell was quiet, save for the sound of footsteps up ahead. You heard his breathing but you did not immediately see Baekhyun anywhere in this level.

What?

Where was the man who had lured you in here with the promise of a clandestine meeting and the chance to finally be alone with him; something the entire day had not afforded you.

You caught motion in the flight above you and a blonde head of hair leaned over the railing, popping into your sight when you looked up.

“Come on, slow poke. I haven’t gotten a chance to go to the gym in days — my body feels too stiff.”

You looked straight up into his face and he wore a mischievous look there. It took you a few moments honestly. This wasn’t what you expected when you caved to temptation and opened that door. There was a slight sting to this. It made you shake your head and it made you exhale a breath through your nose, biting down hard on your lip to keep from making any snide remarks in his general direction.

He had a grin and he watched as you put your first foot on the first step of this set of stairs.

You could not help the small frown that appeared on your lips. Had you just been tricked into after lunch exercise? You hated the stairs. He didn’t have to take them in heels, he would never understand the feeling of a tight pencil skirt pulling at his thighs as he tried and failed to take more than one stair a time.

You felt downright bamboozled. Each step made you more and more irritated that he would do this to you.

Baekhyun was full of energy though. He’d noisily rushed to the top of his staircase and you could hear the sound of his stomping footsteps making their way back down now. It felt like he was showing off. In your mind, you could visualize the smug smile he would have on his face. Each new step only served to fuel your annoyance. You pushed your legs up each step one by one and you even had to pull your skirt up two or three inches so you could comfortably manage the stairs without the restriction of the tight clothing.

Just as quickly as you heard the footsteps retreating you heard the sounds of them changing direction. Was he doing laps? Why couldn't he just abandon you back here in your heels and your skirt and your grump? You saw him coming back down now. He had a smile on his face and he dipped his head to catch your eyes as he made his way down, closing the huge lead he had on you on this stupid journey up the stairs.

“Noona,” he said when he’d reached your side. You felt his shoulder bump against your own and you pulled away from him. You could do the stairs on your own, thank you very much. You didn’t even want to be doing the stairs, but now that you were nearly halfway through you could feel your limbs and muscles loosening up. You did not respond to him.

“You had a face on when you came in here.” Baekhyun had stomped his way back down the stairs and was smiling now right beside you in your section of stairs. “Why?” He should have just gone back up to his own stairs.

“I had no face on,” you defended, but you knew he was probably right. You’d come in here fully expecting a romantic escapade, not a step aerobics class. He had tricked you, the cheater.

He nodded his head up and down in big dramatic movements. He was teasing you. You had fallen for his trick so easily and he knew it. Your annoyance was quietly turning into something else.

“You had a face like you were expecting something to happen in here.”

You’d made it up three flights when you had enough with the heels. You slipped them both off at the bottom of the next flight of stairs and carried one in each hand.

“I was not,” you argued. It was a feeble attempt at a lie. He was right and he knew it.

“You were,” he countered, doing an impression of your whining rebuttal. “Did you think I was going to pounce on you?” He had stopped his upward progression when you did and you turned to look into his face, no doubt making a new face now. One full of adamant denial, and perhaps you had a little bit of a pout on your lips as he openly teased you.

You did not respond with words. You did not immediately respond with a denial either and instead you turned your head to look away from the teasing look in his eyes. He must have had a gift for seeing right through you.

You lifted a foot for another step. You would be the adult today and walk away from him. Your upward step was halted though when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and you were physically moved and you gasped out in quiet surprise to find yourself with you back against the cold cement wall of this stairwell and the warmth and length of Baekhyun’s body was suddenly and unexpectedly pressed firmly against your own. His hand that had gripped your wrist held on tight, pinning your arm down at your side.

Perhaps it was because annoyance had taken over you. You had already given up on anything like this happening in here so the feeling of him pushing against you came at such an unexpected shock that you gasped out loud, leaving your lips to hang open. His grip around your wrist was so tight you couldn't even rotate your hand from the uncomfortable way it was pinned beside you. There was a flash of warmth that surged inside of you with the gasp.

“Did you expect something like this?” His voice was a closed-in whisper. Hot and forbidden breaths fanned over your parted lips and his eyes looked into your own with just as much of that same teasing mischief deep inside the black centers of his pupils as you had seen earlier on the stairs.

“Did you follow me in here because you want me to do this to you?”

You closed your eyes. The sight of his face up close like this was too much and having his warmth and the smell of him here like this was making your already weak heart leap around inside of your chest. You wiggled your hand, trying to get him to loosen the grip he held you with. But he was everywhere already. It was useless to resist with there being so very much of him and was so little air left in your lungs to form words against him.

He was too much today. He had been misbehaving all day long and you felt so weak to every little thing he did. Never before in your entire life had you met such an opponent. You should have known you had lost long before you had even started the battle.

He wasn’t saying anything else and he hadn’t moved from the close proximity but you could feel the steady breathing from his chest against yours and the warmth of his body felt incredible given the stark contrast of the cool wall at your back.

You had to look at him. As dangerous as a game this was, you opened your eyes like he was a compulsion that you were helpless against.

He was watching your face up close and when you opened your eyes he looked at you with half lidded blinks. Something about the look in his eyes had shifted.

“Tell me we are at work.” He whispered after a swift tongue darted out to moisten his lips. “Tell me I shouldn’t kiss you. Tell me to stop.”

Gone was the teasing, this was a different look now. You could see it in his eyes; this was desire. He was quickly being overcome by it. When before had clearly just been a game, now you could feel the trouble he was in. It pressed up against your abdomen; stiff and needy. He pushed his hips up into you.

He’d fallen into his own trap. You’d been gnashing your teeth and gnawing at your own leg for hours trying to break free from it and the man had willingly put his own foot inside and now he had the audacity to be shocked when the metal teeth clamped down on him.

“You know exactly where we are, Baekhyun and you don't seem to be listening to me today anyway.” You still tasted hints of that earlier annoyance with his behavior on the back of your tongue and still you felt so weak to him.

You felt his hand move. He’d let go of your wrist now and you felt the warmth of his fingertips followed by a hot palm that moved upward along your hip, reaching the space below your breast with the smallest of pauses before his hand traveled over your bra, squeezing over the softness of your breast.

He leaned into you and his lips parted over the skin of your neck. You felt soft kisses against your skin and heard a moan of complaint from inside of him.

“It is fucking unfair how good you smell,” he groaned into you.

He moved up higher and you heard the inhale of breath beside your ear and his lips opened up as he pulled your earlobe inside his mouth and sucked, touching lightly with the tip of his tongue on the small earring you wore there.

He was a menace. An explosion of goosebumps traveled up over the crown of your scalp down the center of your spine and a small whimper left your own mouth.

“I’m sorry — I’m sorry,” he was whispering against your skin between the tiny kisses as he followed down the length of your neck. “I know I’m being bad.”

His wandering fingertips had already popped two buttons on your blouse, a peek of his thirsty eyes feasted over the exposed view of the red bra and the contrasting skin of your breasts. You felt his mouth lower, kissing the softness of your flesh, squeezing with his hands and feasting at the red marks his rough mouth left behind with desperately wild eyes. He took the breath you hadn’t yet had a chance to catch.

You felt consumed by it. You should have spoken up sooner, before you had let him change your mind, while you still had the will to fight it, that’s when you should have stopped this. Before you let it get this far.

But now — but now — Byun Baekhyun so casually set out the kindling; he had so callously pulled open that box of matches; he had so carelessly ran the red tip of that matchstick against the side of the box seeking out the friction to ignite you entirely.

How much of his childish teasing before this transpired had been to blame for your guard being down?

You felt as if you were rapidly approaching an impasse. There was an incredibly fast approaching point of no return. This was not something that could happen here. This fact was so deeply ingrained inside of your mind that no amount of lust or desire coursing through your body right now could stop the nagging you still heard ringing its alarm bells out, begging you to come to your senses and see reason.

What if someone walked into this stairwell. This was a building that was full of several hundreds of employees from all departments; how secluded really was this place? There wasn’t even a lock on any of the doors. You have been working here for years without any incidents that even shed a shadow on your character but this man; this tempting, terribly beautiful, stubbornly sexy man; surely this man and your weakness to everything about him would be your undoing.

You hadn’t given them any hints of the reality of your relationship with your assistant. And already the rumors that you heard had painted you in such a bad light. The mere idea of you and him had them calling you things like pathetic to even dream of pursuing someone clearly so far out of your league. Someone younger and someone richer and someone who was so very obviously too good for you. You knew the truth and still you had your moments when you had a hard time wrapping your head around the intense affection and attraction you felt for each other.

What would they say if someone caught wind of the events taking place right now in here, in the middle of a workday while both of you were on the clock and there was absolutely nothing to stop someone from walking into this stairwell and catching you. This was not a far fetched worry of yours, this was a very real possibility right now.

This should not be happening.

You’d be tarred and feathered. You’d be terminated and you’d never work again in this industry. Your name would be blacklisted. You would never recover any of the years wasted.

You’d be a pariah.

He would — he would be transferred to another department. And as he wandered through their hallways they would shake their heads in disbelief. Clicking their tongues while saying oh it was such a shame that someone with such power and such influence over him clearly took such advantage of him — the poor thing.

It felt like a bucket of ice water splashed over your head. Your heavy breathing, which had been solely attributed to the warmth of his body pressed against yours and his wandering hands which had moved down the curves of your hips; you felt the slow tug of his fingertips as he moved the fabric of your skirt up higher on your thighs; your breaths quickened and you gasped to catch your breath feeling the upward motion of your skirt; only instead of arousal your quick gasps for air felt more like a quiet panic was rising up inside of your chest.

The panic moved your hands. You placed a careful palm over his chest. His heartbeat raced inside of him.

“Baekhyun,” you called his name. From his lungs came a warm puff of air that warmed your skin. “Baekhyun.” You said it again, this time with a clearer and more firm voice. Your hand on his chest gave the smallest push against him.

“Baekhyun, we can’t. Not here.” His lungs pulled in hard and you felt the release of his hands on your skirt.

He had heard you. He was still pressed against you but he’d removed his face from your neck and he had removed his hands from your hips. His eyes were closed up tightly as every bit of that unbridled desperation rolled from over his body from the top of his head down to the tip of his toes and you watched the change happen on his face from up close. He licked his lips and his throat moved as he swallowed. His eyebrows furrowed together, bunching up to form a severe wrinkle on his forehead and he inhaled a very shaky breath that went down deep.

He took the smallest step back from you and then another bigger step took his heat away from you.

Your hands moved quickly to button up your blouse and you pulled your skirt back down to cover your thighs where it belonged at all times while you were in this office building.

Baekhyun had placed his hands over his face and he was working through it. The still very strong arousal; the disappointment of the denial. The sudden realization that surged through him that you had put a stop to this.

He bent at the waist with his hands on his hips and his face screwed up into a wince and his head was shaking back and forth.

“I wish you would have said something sooner,” he said under his heavy breaths; the discomfort and disappointment he was feeling was quite evident in his words and his body language. “Shit. Sorry.” His wince deepened to hear those words and whatever the accusatory meaning attached to them come out of his own mouth. With his hands off of you now, with the temptation of his body no longer pressed up against you, you could feel your mind beginning to clear.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that,” he said again, even quieter. “That’s not your fault. I’m just….I am going to need a minute.”

He had turned around to face the other way. You had slipped your feet back into your shoes and you could feel the moment of temptation passing with each minute.

After a moment he turned back to face you, his cheeks pink and his eyes cast downward toward your feet. His breathing was still quite hard and you knew this had simply gone too far. He was right. You should have stopped it long before you did. You should have not let this happen the way it had. Baekhyun moved then and he sat down on the stairs and pulled the bag he had dropped at his feet onto his lap and he groaned quietly with his head leaning into his hands.

“You can head up to the 11th floor. I need to sit here and try not to think about you for a while. I’m sorry, I think I need to keep the bag.”

With your mind clear your senses picked up on a sound, something that came from below where you stood leaning against this wall on the landing of those stairs and where he sat with his head in his hands and that bag set oh so carefully over his lap.

There was a squeak. It was barely audible but it was there. The sound of a door being opened from somewhere below you. Your heart beat frantically in your throat and echoed noisily in your ears.

“Assistant Byun, did you bring the meeting printouts? Can I take a look at them real quick before we head up?”

The man wasn’t moving fast enough. You reached down and unzipped the bag, sticking a blind hand inside and feeling for a stack of papers. Baekhyun lifted his head from his hands with a small sound of confusion in his voice. You gripped the stack of papers and pulled them out; holding them up to your face and you ran your eyes frantically over the page as if you were searching the documents for the meaning of life in the universe and the very quiet footsteps that sounded out below you eventually echoed out loud enough for his face to lose its color and his eyes flew open wide in some mixture of shock and instant understanding.

He stood up suddenly, that bag still secured very much in front of him at the waist and his eyes were cast carefully down at your feet with his pupils moving quickly back and forth.

“And you included all of the talking points we discussed?”

“Yes ma’am, in the last section.” He said with his face facing down on the ground. You noticed he looked so much paler than he had looked before. No doubt a wave of deep panic had surged through him at the realization.

After a few more footsteps the view of someone, a man, wearing a crisp suit came into your peripheral view and you turned a curious face in his direction with a pleasant smile on your lips. You recognized him as one of the other managers who would be present at today’s Idea Sesh with the rest of upper management. This was one of the extremely important people in this company involved with advertising and he had so much pull you were certain that had you not stopped what you stopped from happening earlier, you would have soon found your own head on the chopping block just as you had feared.

“And here I thought I was the only one that used this stairwell,” the older man said with a wide smile. “but you are working harder than anyone else, as always.”

You smiled wider and gave a politely dismissive response.

“Can't wait to hear your ideas today,” He said as he stepped in between you and your assistant and made his way up the stairwell, his pace not faltering once. You held your breath the entire time you watched his retreating back.

When all traces of his footsteps were gone you slowly exhaled the breath you had been holding. You slowly relaxed and unclenched every single muscle in your body that had been seized up tight. When you relaxed your hold on the stack of papers the sheets rattled noisily in your hands as they trembled.

The man beside you had his face still angled downward and you saw the slow exhale of air from his lungs that he let out through pursed lips. On his face you saw an anguished look manifesting on his pretty features.

Inside of you, your emotions surged up hot. You felt vindicated and validated for every single anxious worry you’d ever considered; ever been plagued by; ever been kept up at night dreading.

“Noona,” he whispered through his parted lips. He was still looking down at the floor. “Noona, I was wrong. I am so sorry.” He was whispering and he lifted a hand to lay over his chest. You’d noticed he had dropped the bag lower now as he held it by the handles only.

He was speaking to you but his eyes refused to lift higher than waist level. This view of him grabbed your stomach and twisted it into knots. The man was worth so much. Not just in money but to you; he was so amazingly beautiful and precious in every single way and he was standing here with his head hung down in shame because of what? Because you didn’t know your place? You didn’t take the very important job you had seriously to nurture him professionally and to care for him in the way you were meant to?

“It wasn’t just you. I came in here willingly.” You were speaking quietly and calmly but even you could hear something off in your voice. This close call had been too much. Not even a whole week into the relationship and already — already.

“I played just as much a part in this.” Your own voice sounded too steady and too even. At last, at last his eyes looked up into yours. They were big and brown and they looked into your face with an expression that was full of worry.

You felt sick. Saliva pooled in your mouth and you inhaled deeply and slowly in an attempt to steady yourself, to force your mind to relax, to try and will your insides to settle down from the very real and very scary upset. You had known better than this. You had always known better.

“Actually, more than anything you have done, I’m the one going against the rules. I’m your superior. I’m the one who did wrong. I am the one who is still doing wrong, Baekhyun. I am doing something wrong — to you.”

“Noona, stop talking.” He squeezed his eyes closed momentarily and when he opened them you could see that his lids were fluttering as he tried to rein in the emotions you saw all over his face. “Stop talking like that. Please. Stop.” He was breathing harder but you knew — you knew that you were only speaking the truth.

“These rules exist for a reason, Baekhyun, and I have broken them. I’m at fault, not you and I think — I think—”

“All of that is wrong. I don't believe any of that — at all.” He shook his head back and forth and his eyes looked into yours with a desperate plea somewhere in their depths. “Don't say any more, hmm?” he begged. His eyebrows lifting up over his eyes with the tiny questioning hum.

A soft beep sounded out from somewhere inside his pocket. You both knew what it meant. It was time to leave.

It was time for the meeting, you still had three more flights of stairs to climb. You did not have time to be standing around here wiping the one stray tear you felt fall down your cheek and coming to terms with what a terrible, selfish, disgusting person you might be deep down inside.

“We have to go. I have to go,” you said and you turned away from him, taking the stairs two at a time despite the strain on your skirt and the ache in your feet from the heels. You moved quickly and behind you, you could hear his footsteps closing in behind you.

“Noona,” he was calling but you were moving. “Goddammit — please, just stop.” You heard him say. The desperation in his voice pulled hard at your heart, making its rapid beating rhythm pause — making you pause your steady progress away from him and out of this fucking stairwell and it was just enough. It was just enough for the reach of his hand to grab ahold of yours. You were on the 11th floor. Your hand wrapped around the smooth slick handle of the doorway that would put you out there in that hallway where several dozens of extremely important people would be waiting, mingling, laughing, and schmoozing.

“Baby, please.” He was calling out behind you. His grip on your hand was so tight; it rivaled the grip he had on your heart. “Tell me what you are thinking. You’re scaring me. I can't do this. I can’t — ”

You couldn't look into his face anymore. You no longer knew what was wrong or what was right and you had no idea what you could do about it either. But you knew that you needed some time just to think. You needed to sit in the silence and the peace of your own mind for hours until you came up with some sort of a solution to this. But what you knew was that you did not have that right now. You did not have that inside this stairwell with his desperate pleas holding you back.

You inhaled a steadying breath for it. You turned to him and you pulled a small smile upon your face that never even came close to reaching your eyes and wouldn't have fooled him for even a second even in pitch blackness.

You pushed through the impossible ache inside of your chest to get the words out.

“We can talk later,” you said in a whisper. “I promise, we can talk later.”

[To Be Continued]

Links: Part 1, …… Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

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