#thank you for coming to my (3am) TED talk!
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lemonboyjosten · 1 year ago
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neil josten’s complex kiss analysis
can we talk about neil’s first kiss for a hot minute?
ok so here’s the thing. yes, we can all agree neil is a questionable narrator but consider the way he describes his first kiss with andrew:
"andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with neil's mouth."
this is an intense portrayal of a kiss that goes beyond mere romance. have you ever thought about the deeper meaning behind neil's words? why would he even describe it that way? for someone who has never even fathomed kissing anyone, why would he describe it so intensely? think about it, neil's life has indeed been filled with survival instincts and a constant need to stay on guard due to his troubled past. when andrew kisses him, it's likely a powerful and overwhelming experience for neil, as he might subconsciously associate it with the intensity of survival mode.
see, neil's life has been shaped by a rollercoaster of danger, abuse, and evading deadly threats from a young age so he’s become a master at staying alive. surviving has been his primary skill, and his instincts are always on high alert, just like the when he is in a fight for his life. so, when andrew kissed him, it's only natural for neil to draw a comparison because our boy was caught off guard. so, andrew's passion and intensity may have reminded neil of the survival mode he's been living in for so long, hence the sudden tilt and shift of the world beneath him that he experiences post kiss.
in this light, andrew's kiss becomes more than just a romantic gesture. it represents a moment of vulnerability for neil. throughout his life, he's learned to shield himself emotionally, keeping his guard up to protect against any harm that might come his way. but andrew's kiss breaks through those barriers, leaving neil exposed and defenseless, much like the vulnerability he experiences when he is forced into his aliases to stay alive.
besides, our darling goth babygirl andrew here plays a significant role in neil's journey towards growth and healing. the trust and connection they share gradually guide neil away from a life solely centered on survival and toward a path of understanding and acceptance. andrew's passion to protect neil at all costs contrasts neil's survival instincts, showing him that life is about more than just making it through the day.
(ps. i personally think that the way he describes every single interaction with andrew is just so beautiful.)
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qpjianghu · 10 months ago
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(...but what if I was?)
Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)
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gingerale13 · 7 months ago
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Magnet Yuri
I am slowly becoming a shit post account aren't I
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cococowboah · 1 year ago
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Me, 3AM: binging the Revolting Slob skits from crashbox and eating leftover horseradish smashers.
My husband at 3AM: *sleeping peacefully, swings his arm out and throws a full metal water bottle off the fucking nightstand so it hits the dog cage and scares the shit out of every living creature in the room, continues to sleep soundly somehow.*
Me: *chokes on my horseradish smashers in terror*
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After months of staying silent on literary discourse here on Tumblr, I finally have something to contribute.
Fanfiction is not the problem. Fanfic is a free, communal and valid form of writing which, although not always high quality, has yielded some genuinely great stories. The real problem, the reason for ‘booktok books’ and the flaws in modern literature, is fanfic being hijacked by corporations. The minute people try to make money off of it, the minute fanfic and fanfic-style stories lose their meaning. Fanfiction is written on the notes app at 3am for you and 5 friends who share your taste. It is self-indulgent, chaotic, often told through a queer and/or neurodivergent lens, and free from any pressure to be commercially palatable. The minute a few stereotypical fanfiction tropes and ideas are stolen by commercial publishers and twisted into patriarchal, heteronormative versions of themselves with no character depth beyond the romance (a problem that for obvious reasons doesn’t apply to fanfic), that is where the real problem begins.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk
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syn4k · 8 months ago
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this is ABSOLUTELY jordan with jerry.
(for those unaware: jerry is a baby slime that jordan captainsparklez found in one of his minecraft letsplays a LONG time ago. baby slimes in minecraft are less than a block tall, have half a heart of health, and are in fact so small that they can't even hurt the player by jumping up and squishing them like bigger slimes do, thus making them utterly and completely harmless. after jerry hopped in front of jordan and took an arrow for him, jordan decided to take him as soon as the sun rose. when he got back, jerry the slime was gone. every series jordan has made after that one has either featured a reincarnation of jerry or had some sort of homage to jerry in it. i think about this extremely frequently. wow that got long)
anyways, in every season of mianite jerry has been there at some point and he has always been some sort of gift (either from the wizards (s1) or the gods (s2)). i saw the tweet above and i went okay. Jerry could be a perfectly normal baby slime who nobody fucks with simply because Jordan will literally summon all the powers of Heaven and Hell for revenge if they ever touch his boy. that makes sense. but what if jerry was secretly super powerful and nobody knows because he's so unassuming, kind of like the immortal snail that instakills you if you touch it?
the scenario i'm imagining is this: someone breaks into jordan's house in the middle of the night to get cheese or something. probably tom. he's being super quiet and super sneaky. he has an invisibility potion on and everything. everything is going great until he turns to leave when Suddenly,
jordan, from somewhere out of sight: GET HIM, JERRY!
jerry the baby slime (small) (baby) (pretty damn harmless) drops in from the ceiling and starts hopping slowly but ominously towards tom.
now, you see, at this point tom is like "is he serious?" which is a great question to ask because he knows (or thinks he knows) that jerry cant do shit. he knows that this is definitely a distraction and that jordan is about to wreck his shit. however, he Also knows that if he does anything at all to jerry then jordan will have a great reason to have it out for him for the rest of eternity.
jerry is still approaching.
tom double checks all the exits just to make sure, walks forwards, gently nudges jerry aside with his foot so that he can get the fuck out of there, and Instantly Fucking Dies.
he did not account for the possibility that jerry is partially made up of a very strong, very fast acting poison that kills everyone upon contact (except jordan obviously), which makes sense because that's fucking wild and no sane person would consider that while raiding their friend's house for bread at 3am.
(also nobody except for jordan has ever touched jerry before so how would they know?)
the worst part is that this sounds exactly like the type of thing tom would make up to explain dying after breaking into jordan's house, so he can't even go to anyone to bitch about it. when questioned about the incident, jordan just gives whoever asked a Look that says "you actually believe that Jerry the baby goddamn Slime killed Tom?? Jerry, who couldn't hurt a baby chicken if he wanted to??? Fucking Jerry?????" and they go "yeah ok" and drop it.
thank you for coming to my ted talk. i might write a oneshot about this.
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dia-the-fangirl · 26 days ago
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one thing that really annoys me is when people completely ignore canon stuff for their ships. For instance: Jegulus. we never saw Regulus at ALL during the books, except for Sirius and Kreacher’s recollections and his bedroom. And when we take Sirius’s relationship with his family into account, we can infer that James and Regulus didn’t get along, if they even met. I do personally hc James as bisexual, but from the moment he met Lily Evans, he knew she was the one. Sure, he was an absolute butthole, but he was 100% in love with her. Regulus, on the other hand, was so proud to be a Slytherin and was a fricking death eater for a little bit. James would have never fell for someone who was a death eater, or was interested in becoming one. Logically, Jegulus makes no sense!
thank you for coming to my TED talk. Have a great day/night/3AM. reblog with more illogical ships.
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bun-z-bakery · 3 months ago
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TW mentions of hospitals and injures
Guys, hold my hand and hear me out listen listen... Scooped!mike x nurse!reader. imagine coming home to your "zombie" bf (Mike) and needing to stitch him up again because of a tiny incident that was totally accidental that happened while you were busy tending to patients who needed your attention in the hospital. >:)
there's literally so many things I want to write for this spooky season, but life and my health have gotten in the way of writing 😭so this little idea might come out later rather than sooner, but it's been like a parasite in my MIND. DO YOU GUYS SEE THE VISION?! I haven't written for mike yet, this was a 3am thought. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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real-fire-emblem-takes · 9 months ago
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it's me, back again, spamming mod sommie with my 3am thoughts, i'm forcing you to read my giant rambling headcanon conspiracy theory thing
the royal family of ylisse in awakening has the "mark of the exalt" which, while never really fully explained is basically just a mark that shows a relation to naga it's never been really fully explained in-universe what makes someone able to wield falchion, since marth alone is able to do it in archanea despite not really having anything special like the Mark of the Exalt or a brand or anything of the like, but the same falchion in Awakening is only useable in gameplay by Chrom and Lucina. (One of the supports with Lucina and Inigo, Male Morgan, or Brady if they're her brother implies that they can use it too but don't know they can).
so that got me thinking about how it parallels to the Naga Holy Blood and the Naga tome, since both Deirdre and Julia have Naga holy blood and a corresponding mark (similar to the Mark of the Exalt) I think this implies that the Mark of the Exalt is at the very least a parallel to Naga Holy Blood linked to a holy weapon (Falchion), although the implied ability of both children of a "major blood" holder being able to wield the weapon is interesting. Either Falchion is not bound specifically to "major blood", which has a possible gap in Lissa and Owain not being able to wield it, but it's possible she just has like carrier recessive holy blood since Owain and Ophelia have the Mark of the Exalt. The other option is that both children have "major holy blood", which contradicts what we see in Jugdral where it's usually one child has major and the other children minor.
So this all boils down to the thought experiment of "Can Julia and Deirdre wield Falchion, and by extension Seliph @ the holy blood distinction", then also the inverse of "Can Chrom, Lucina, any of their children, Lissa, Owain/Odin, or Ophelia use Jugdral Naga?" The Naga tome and all the other Holy Weapons as a findable items in Awakening have the lore that its blood link and power has diminished over the centuries and is able to be used by everyone as a result, so it doesn't really help answer the question and Jugdral never really had a Falchion so we can't really have an answer to that
also lissa and odin/ophelia would be menaces with the naga tome let's be real
personally i think mage fighter julia with falchion and naga would be a really cool concept.
and you know chrom's ass is not reading that holy book he will throw it at grima
thanks for coming to my ted talk
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samoankpoper21 · 7 months ago
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RIP to the tags that got lost
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Ngl when I posted my Haikyuu! post I wasn't expecting a lot of interaction with it, partially because in the past my Haikyuu! pieces haven't done that great in comparison to my JJK posts 😅 it could be a number of reasons: not a lot of people are into Haikyuu!, my writing may not be their style/post may be boring, etc etc. I did however find it a bit odd -frustrating- to see how low the interactions are and here's why: I stayed up until 3AM to finish my recent Haikyuu! post adding tags upon tags damn near looking like a Christmas list or a long ass receipt 🤣 only for the tags to stop at x chubby reader Huh?? Where's the character names? Why did it stop at x chubby reader?? I was thoroughly confused. Was I trippin'? I kept refreshing the page only to realize that there's a limited amount of tags one post could have.
Upon reading this random shit post some will say I'm begging for attention / being a crybaby, I don't mind. I'm just using this space to vent out the fact that I spent an extra 15 minutes to type out ushijima x chubby! reader, ushijima x plus size reader, ushijima x y/n; tendou x chubby! reader, tendo x chubby reader, tendou x chubby reader, tendo x chubby reader; semi eita x chubby! reader, eita semi x chubby reader, eita x chubby reader, semi x chubby reader; reon ohira x chubby! reader, etc etc only for it to be wiped out 😅
Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk and remember when using tags make sure you get the important ones 🤣
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achilleslefttoe · 1 year ago
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sibling things in my pjo dr ‼️ (pt 1)
first shifting post?!?!?!??? anyways. it’s 3am and i have school and i can’t sleep
in my pjo dr i’m a kid of poseidon so obviously that means percy and tyson are my brothers so here’s a little list of things between us, some more specific to just us than others
we all have a pair of sneakers with a matching sticker, this is just cause i think it’s cute and i do this in my cr. i love my shoe stickers
in my dr i have this thing where some children of poseidon are good at mimicking (inspired by sirens) so sometimes we’ll hear a sound or iconic voice and say “bet you can’t mimic THAT”
another thing in my script is that children of poseidon’s eyes change color based on the nearest body of water so me and percy have a little scrapbook full of polaroid pictures of us all around with different colored eyes, tyson is included when he’s with us
we watch movie that take place underwater and decide if they could like actually happen based on our interactions with sea creatures, we eat goldfish instead of popcorn while doing this (ex. finding nemo, aquaman, jaws, the meg, etc)
double/triple dates that end with me and percy (and sometimes tyson) getting distracted from our dates to harass each other or engage in some other shenanigans together
building the best sand castles at the beach ‼️
reinacting vines, specifically the guardian of the sand one
baking together (never turns out well)
in my dr i have dyslexia technically but my brain just turns it into greek and i read it like that (cause i like reading a lot) but anyways me reading to percy and tyson
helping each other with homework
thank you for coming to my ted talk (pls ignore grammar/spelling errors if any, i’m very tired)
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adrienmelon · 2 years ago
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I submit to you: Words That Could Be Vulcan Names And It Wouldn’t Even Be A Stretch
Glock
Shrek
Cock
Spook
Lasik
Spank
Twink
Sock
Spirk (see what I did there)
Chuck
Thank you for coming to my 3am Ted Talk.
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tsuunytsuun · 1 year ago
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So last night at like 3AM I had a deep thought.
There's this Japanese artform called Kintsukuroi.
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I've always liked looking at this, because I think it's really pretty and a great way to fix broken things, and in the end they come out looking even prettier than they did before :D
But THEN, I had a THOUGHT.
"What if people are like broken and cracked pottery?"
We gain scratches and cracks from literally just existing, and then hopefully, at some point, we find our gold. The thing that slowly starts to fill in our cracks and mend us.
Once the cracks are filled, they're not completely gone. You can still see that at some point, the pottery was broken.
But now..
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It's even more beautiful than it was before.
One day, I hope everybody can find their gold. The thing that slowly heals, fills in your cracks and mends your hurt.
Then, once all the cracks are filled, even though you might still be able to see where they once were, you'll be stronger, even more beautiful than you were before.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, have a nice day :]
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potentialcabinet · 1 year ago
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i'll be really interested to see if good omens utilizes the fact that god is literally the narrator. they have been presented with the chance to completely break the story, tear it apart at its very bones. wouldn't that be fucked up? the show likes to imply that god does things just because god wants to or is bored- god doesn't really care if the entire human race is wiped out or if job loses everything, god just needs to win the bet with satan. wouldn't it be fucked up if the characters started hearing the narrator? coming to the realization that god is fucking with them really for the heck of it? god controls the entire story, and absolutely has the power to completely unravel it. anyways, it's 3am and i should really go to sleep thank you for coming to my ted talk
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aa-carnivorousfatality · 2 years ago
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Incorrect quotes. Ft. Carnage, Lasher and Mayhem
Lasher: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Carnage, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Mayhem, whispering: Because I have little hands. Carnage: Because they have little hands.
Mayhem: I will find us a covered wagon and horses. Mayhem: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone. Lasher: Oh, please. We're not children. *Mayhem leaves* Lasher, casually: ...Eat shit and die. Carnage, also casually: Yes, fuck you
Lasher: So what’s the plan? Carnage: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Mayhem* they’re mean, come up with something.
Carnage: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Mayhem: How did you know I was up until 3am? Lasher: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.
Carnage: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Lasher: The final boss. Mayhem: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Carnage: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!
Mayhem: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Carnage: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Mayhem: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Lasher: Edible.
Mayhem: I have locked Lasher in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard. Carnage: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that. Mayhem: I’m blackmailing them. Carnage: Oh, happy days.
Lasher: What would Carnage think? Mayhem: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?
Mayhem: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :) Carnage: I forgot I was doing a test. Mayhem: Carnage. Carnage: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny.... Lasher: Carnage.
Carnage: Do you cook? Mayhem: I made a cake once. Lasher: Yeah, it was good. Mayhem: Really? Lasher: Don’t make me lie twice, Mayhem
Lasher: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Mayhem: How? Lasher: I need someone to take the fall. Mayhem: What did you do? Lasher: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Carnage, from the other room: Oh my god. Lasher: ... Carnage: OH MY GOD! Mayhem: Make it a hundred. Lasher: Deal.
*Carnage teaching Lasher to drive and taking Mayhem along for the ride* Carnage: That's a pothole. To the left! Lasher: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* Mayhem, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. Lasher: I don't think that's how the song goes. Carnage, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. Lasher: Country Roads. Mayhem: To the place. Lasher and Mayhem in unison: I Belong! Carnage, crying harder: What the fuck?
Lasher: When Mayhem was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world." Carnage: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."
Lasher: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Mayhem's birthday invitations. Carnage: Well, what are they supposed to say? Lasher: "Mayhem's birthday". Carnage: So, what do they say instead? Lasher: "Mayhem’s bi". Carnage: Carnage: Works out either way.
Carnage: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Mayhem, rushing in: Carnage! Lasher tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!
Lasher: We need to open this locked door. Mayhem, give me your credit card. Mayhem: Here. Lasher, pocketing it: Thanks. Carnage, break down the door.
Carnage: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Mayhem: 420? Carnage: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Lasher: 69. Carnage: Yeah it was 69.
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j3llyfished · 10 months ago
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I HAVE HAD AN AU IN MY MIND FOR A WHILE WHERE ITS BASICALLY HERMITS/LIFE SERIES MEMBERS IN OMORI AND I JUST HAD THE THOUGHT OF “HUH GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS (last life) WOULD BE GREAT FOR THE SLIME GIRLS! BUT ALSO CLEO AS AUBERY? PEARL AS MARI AND THEN SOMETHING IS 3AM PEARL!?! SCAR IS KEL AND CUB IS HERO. IDK WHO WOULD BE SUNNY THO? MAYBE LIKE GRIAN OR SM SINCE A 1.HE JUST HAS MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY LMAO AND 2. THERE ARE SO MANY SIBLING AUS OF HIM AND PEARL SO IT JUST KINDA WORKS YOU KNOW? BUT WHO WOULD BASIL BE??? (Genuinely stuck on Basil lmao)
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
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