Aaaand... Here's some of my REALLY old TF2 art from 2017 and 2018. Maybe someone will recognise me from it. (Doubt it xD)
cw: a lot of tearjerker words, mentall issues and kinda mentions of violence (?)
I鈥檝e always wondered how cyclical history is. Six years has passed and I had returned to the most grotesque, both silly and peculiary wise fandom in my entire life (dare I say it). Back then, I was a socially awkward minor clinging to any chance to go deeper into the pointless escapism. Anyways, I was stuck in a frustration about having to set my career preferences already. It went so bad that after six (maybe seven??? i actually lost count) hospitalisations my doctor diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia. Nevertheless, slowly but surely, things were getting better. I got therapy and found out that I was misdiagnosed which is sadly not uncommon in Russia. I tried out so many medications only to find out that all of these were pointless. What a lame. Then, I tried to go back in time and recover my memories which was disrupted because of treatment I didn't even need. And I was pleasantly surprised how much tender teenage love I put into every art, every shape on the pic dedicated to TF2.
Back now, I recall how much emotions, communication and happiness this fandom gave me. And I'm so glad that it was not abandoned and forgotten like an average old (but gold) game and comics. By the way, my OC blonde soldier with facial scars went through this with me and I still adore him as well as my other 9 mercenaries. :) His name is James Tiberius Rourke and someday I'll make a post about him and other in those motley crew.
Back to the theme. I'm 21 now and I want to try almost the same experience but from another angle. I never needed to self-reproach about who am I, I never needed to put myself onto pressure, I just need to have fun and look at dirty rude and partially illiterate gravel war pigs and constantly say "aww, they're so cute when hysterically smiling after tearing someone's spine apart 馃ズ". Unlike in the past, now I have a measured personal life, a large circle of acquaintances and friends and a lot of prospects in the future. Six years in one fandom is actually my record and by the active return I felt refreshed. I hope my love to the game, the comic and its community will last forever.
Wanted to play with styles with a panel redraw and ended up trying the comic colors and color style which I actually really dig. Made a more red tone version for my sad wet cat of a man.