#terrible two au

[simplepotatofarmer]

c!techno and c!dream in terrible two au

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[celestialalpacaron]

A quick Overlord Husk AU crumb comic between Alastor and Husker’s dynamic yaaaaay

Anyways there’s a reason why Husker’s a recluse :} And Alastor being one of the very few people who knows why makes me giggle 🤭

[that1notetaker]

Getting some ideas out of my head so I can visually connect the dots

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[grim-faux]

just had this thought about some adult/monsters whatever with a cup trying to get rid of a child nest, the same way people go at wasp nests that are occupied. The adult/monsters are fearful and hesitant, because once they stir up the nest those things will destroy them

And by things, we're referring to the children.

[manicpixiejinxgirl]

Anyone who makes a modern au of Arcane that doesn't include a freshly out of jail young adult Vi and a long suffering totally not shady businessman Silco having split custody of a pissy teen Jinx who constantly pits her guardians against eachother to get exactly what she wants is doing it incorrectly

[raviola-triggers]

steven universe gem!aventurine au because i can

[emil1863]

Don't be rude, he's had a long day.

[simplepotatofarmer]

terrible two dream locking himself in the basement for days without sleep to continue his work, his plan, and when he finally takes a break for a moment to get some water, he finds techno and the twins have turned the living room into a blanket fort. after some bullying and bribing, techno convinces dream to join them.

at some point, techno goes to make more snacks and comes back to find dream sprawled out, asleep, and the twins also asleep and using him as a pillow. techno is fine with this; dream finally is getting some dang sleep and he gets to eat all the snacks.

[jayninjago]

When the (formerly) unconcious robot whose ‘Ice Emperor’ programming you accidentally enabled while rebooting him is kinda cute so you strike him a deal he cant say no to

[thatswhatsushesaid]

great job on probably not failing your first group project (unless you signed up for jin zixun or wen chao's respective groups I guess). if only university professors were kind enough not to assign each of us multiple group projects each semester! if only.

also, you can't join the same group twice. you know what that means. so:

same deal as last time, put your rationale for your preferred group in the tags if you feel so compelled.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

what if chaggie accidentally used Dazzle's body to make their new demon child while trying to resurrect him?

would that be too messed up??

Vaggie scooping up Dazzle's little body (reverted to plush toy mode when he died) from the hotel wreckage while the rebuilding gets started and she starts to bring him to Charlie but then hesitates, turns away, goes over to Lucifer instead to ask about the agreement with Heaven about the Exterminations because she's got this stupid, hopeful, tiny glimmer of an idea....

After borrowing Lucifer's coat to wrap Dazzle in she finds out that yes, the agreement to only wipe out people in the Pride Ring was meant as a way of targeting sinner souls specifically, yes all of Lucifer's immediate family should have had immunity from being killed- getting hurt or maimed is different, but death absolutely shouldn't happen-

so Vaggie asks, then, what Dazzle counted as. He was for sure a hellborn not a sinner, so while he wasn't meant to be targeted he also wasn't promised immunity inside the Pride Ring... but was he also Lucifer's family? If Charlie loved him enough to count Dazzle as HER family, would that be enough?

And if Dazzle was part of the Morningstar family, if he never should have been killed, then could heaven be compelled to help with maybe, possibly... fixing that??

Lucifer gives a tentative maybe, and Vaggie is striding over to Charlie before he can tell her how bad this idea is

She knows. Charlie does too. They spend a week thinking about it but already know what they're about to do the first time they find Razzle crying himself to sleep on his brother's memorial statue

One call to heaven later and Vaggie's slipping away to the Heaven Consulate with a small bundle in her arms. Charlie meets up with her shorter afterwards, having argued and begged her dad and finally gotten, if not his direct help- (he's sure this will fail. his heart can't take being part of that)- then at least a jewel bright with the golden light of creation, not something Charlie knows how to use but that's okay they already knew they'd need help with this.

A determined Emily meets them in the Cosulate. Heaven (mostly Emily) has agreed that Dazzle's death hadn't been righteous even current policy standards (which suck and need to change but whatever) so Emily's come down to try imbuing a spark of creation back into Dazzle's body.

Creation likes balance. Spheres within spheres within rings within rings. It likes irony and completion, and Emily hopes that Heaven being the reason Dazzle was killed can be balanced out by Heaven helping to give him life again.

But its complicated. She's talked with Lucifer- trying to just shove demonic energy into Dazzle would just turn his body into a puppet. Collecting his dispersed hellish essence would hurt any demon who's absorbed part of it and risk dragging bits of other demons or their imprints into Dazzle, changing who he was possibly for a worse. So Emily and Lucifer settled on the idea of using his body as a scaffolding and hoping the wear and tear of his life would be enough to guide the divine power Lucifer's gem supplied, letting it grow into the shape of more or less the person who Dazzle was by the time he died.

Technically Lute should be here to repent her murder of him and, as the one who ended his life, be part of restoring it to him- but she refused and heaven can't force her, it wouldn't count if they tried... so Vaggie, who was close by when Dazzle died, will have to stand in as the next best thing and be the one to invite Dazzle back.

And Charlie will have to give him some of her blood. It's the surest and oldest shorthand for claiming someone as family- key to the entire argument that Dazzle's death absolutely NEVER should have happened-

Lucifer isn't sure what it might do to Dazzle to have the blood of the princess of hell flowing through him. He's not sure anything will happen at all, but if it does, time and experience tells him Charlie and Vaggie won't be getting back everything they lost. And what they DO end up with they might regret asking for.

Charlie and Vaggie have already agreed through, whatever comes out of this they will NOT regret having tried to bring Dazzle back and they WILL be here to take care of whatever or whoever is given life as a result.

That's good enough for Emily. She holds the jewel, Vaggie holds tiny Dazzle's body, and Charlie uses her trident to open the skin of her palms and forehead so she can drip smear the blood over the dead goat demon, drip more on while she leans in to kiss his forehead, and finally presses her bleeding hands over the gaping hole Lute's sword left in him

And as golden light spins out to weave around Dazzle's body he does, slowly, begin to stir

and to change

it's not much but it's enough. the tiny child that blinks open it's eyes has a streak of blonde in it's red hair. it's eyes are gold instead of red, a little spark of floating fire has lit between it's horns, and the spade tip of it's tail has a red heart shape on it now.

Dazzle wasn't much of a talker but its clear pretty soon that the new bundle in Vaggie's shaky arms also has no idea what's being said to it. The name Dazzle gets no reaction at all.

Chaggie carry their new kid (literally a kid) back home to the hotel after asking Emily to do the honor of picking a name.

Emily picks the name Baphomel.

The hotel crew thinks it's a pun on the "baaa" sound goats can make and the word "phenomenal" and they feel that's pretty accurate considering how loud the new kid turns out to be when it starts bleating unhappily about the whole suddenly being alive thing.

(Razzle hears one single "baa" from it, rushes over, and when Charlie anxiously tries to explain that this isn't- it's not really Dazzle- Razzle waves her away impatiently. He knows. This is his new little sister, and he hurries off to collect the softest blanket he can find and some safe things to chew on and warm milk bc that's calming right and maybe just one donut just in case she likes those too, and-)

at this point Angel has given the kid the nick name Me-LOUD-y or maybe Mel-OW-dy depending on how close to the kid's painfully loud bleats you are, and for all that Vaggie hands over the kid to Charlie so she can go chase everyone else away, Charlie hums and sings and calms the kid down and thinks the name Melody is a good nickname after all

(Emily thinks so too when she's hears about it later) (she gave the name Baphomel so the new child would know it had always been seen as something worth praising, but being a song- being part of something bigger- sounds comforting too)

and that's the Bedazzled au

no the new kid does not end up liking donuts.

she likes toast with jam, usually toasted on the little flame over her head and the jam is usually not fruit based it's almost always coming from Cannibal Town

she was remade using Charlie's blood so it's the blood of other hellborn she craves (though variety is nice) and needs to keep her little flame thing burning.

if that goes out so does she- think the book version of the ghost of christmas past- but that spark of pure creation, when focused through the gem also used to remake her, lets her do a bit of creating and balancing out of her own.

healing becomes her thing. The thing she's obsessed with.

first bc of Vaggie's eye and how it WON'T heal, but then she gets told a bit about Dazzle once she's old enough to notice him in old pictures and ask about the giant golden statue in front of her home.

That's when she realizes the two white patches of fur chest and back are where a gaping sword wound used to be- and it's healed. Heavenly steel, supposedly permanent, but Dazzle's body was healed by the spark of creation and she's alive now in it.

which convinces her that SHE should be able to heal others like this too. No, not just heal non-lethal injuries from exorcists like Vaggie's eye, there HAS to be a way for her to bring back-

Healing's not a BAD thing right? Neither is figuring out a way to resurrect dead hellborn. Sinners get to pull themselves back together so why not hellborn too, why not find ways to let them their full lives or even longer. Nothing wrong with that. It's not dangerous.

No one in her family worries about her studying healing and resurrection. (heaven worries a little but heaven can go shove it)

Her family WOULD worry if they knew WHY she was doing it.

her giving herself the middle name Bedazzle was probably a pretty big hint.

or it would have been if she didn't add the name Bedlamb for the funnies bc, y'know, bed lamb... born from the body of a goat plushie... who likes toast... bedlam Bethlem Bethlahem house of bread... its funny she swears it's hilarious. Baphomel Odia Bedlamb Bedazzle Morningstar.

she also switches her nickname to the name Baffy, bc it sounds like her very cool aunt Niffty and she thinks that's cuter

and also yes teen her does end up a fan of a certain tv show about hell and demons who drink blood and her voicemail message is in fact "if the end of hell comes, beep me. Baa~"

[carryonthroughtheages]

Mona Baz would like to remind you that COTTA is happening.

Yup. That's what he's smiling about. Mystery solved.

Carry On Through the Ages is happening. November 3rd through the 9th, specifically.

(You can learn more about it through our handy-dandy FAQs.)

(Also there's a Discord server.)

[russolaw]

Onlyfans AU

[other-peoples-coats]

ok so we all agree that jedi sports are just like, ludicrously insane, right?

like jedi baseball is really only technically sort of like baseball, if you squint very hard and are also very drunk. the ball is a stunner shot, the bat is your lightsaber, and it's less 'catching to throw out' and more 'deflecting it directly at the runner'.

Jedi soccer has a special pitch with re-inforced walls and ceiling because the last time a ball escaped the pitch it went through three buildings.

the less said about jedi track and field events, the better.