#tell me xyz. why cant we just talk

[moonske]

it truly is a stupidity crisis i fear

[yongseungkim]

.

[urhoneycombwitch]

Rockstar!Eddie x assistant/manager!reader who likes Eddie, because unlike some other rockers, he minds his p's and q's, doesn't run off to god knows where with God knows who at all hours of the night, isn't overly demanding, but the damn boy jist won't let them do their job!

he wants to follow assistant!reader around like a puppy even when they're trying to tell him no! you've got rehearsal and I have to go do xyz! Or trying to go out on a date and assistant reader is like, if I want my salary, I have to abide by the contract that says I can't get involved with the contract and Eddie's trying to use his Bambi eyes like 🥺🥺 but what if we talked about the music? Isn't that still contract abiding? Just, you know, wear something nice and I'll pick you up from your room at 8. And they're like 🙄 you're going to get me in trouble, but Eddie doesn't mind them threatening his ass, because he'll pay their salary out of pocket and honestly, a person in charge turns him on (which is why he keeps pestering so assistant!reader can keep telling him off)

verrrryyyyyy this!!!??

assistant!reader who is totally neurotic/anal about everything, like perhaps seek an OCD diagnosis bestie (but it’s 1990 and no one has time for that!!)

you get hired to drag their asses to places on time but also bc you graduated top of your communications class and can get them into any building anywhere. you and eddie have a whole “do you even know who you’re TALKING TO” routine that you’ve perfected over the years.

It literally took him months to wear you down into not calling him Mr. Munson anymore. you were trying to be PROFESSIONAL while also tamping down your massive crush on Eddie.

it’s a sitch of eddie fell first and loudly but you fell… near-silently. Over the course of two 30-state tours. Bc he’s your CLIENT. You CANT do anything about your little crush. Even IF he flirts with you like it’s his job. Even IF you accidentally walked in on him changing one time and all he did was grin wolfishly at you and asked if you liked what you saw.

morning pre-show meetings w the whole team where the band is half asleep from drunken escapades the night previous but they all show up 9am (mostly) sharp bc they knew Eddie promised to flay them alive if they didn’t make your meeting.

and he’s sitting at the head of the conference room table, boots staggered on the ground, all dark denim and black leather, smoking a cigarette with his morning coffee, looking like he wants to eat you up as you pointedly ignore him so you can get through your little whiteboard spiel

and when you cap the dry erase pen and turn on your heel all efficient to the assembled team chirping “Okay, any comments or questions?” Eddie is raising two fingers in the air casually. And when you call on him with an apprehensive “Yes, Eddie?” (bc you’re expecting pushback on the schedule you’d just painstakingly outlined) he throws you for a loop when he instead says “You’re looking very pretty today, angel 🙂”

Leaving you sputtering, grabbing at some random papers on the table to shakily stack- “Any other comments or questions?”- immediately followed by Eddie raising his hand again, so you tack on “About the schedule? 🙄” and his hand goes down.

and as the marketing head takes over you can FEEL Eddie grinning at you from the corner of your eye and you’re really not trying to give him the satisfaction of your attention but it’s getting harder to deny his charms w each passing day 🫠🫠🫠

[raveneira]

Random but i miss 2020/21/22 when the KawaSara fandom was so active, now i barely see people talking about them or making content. Someone needs to bring back the KawaSara fandom somehow😭.

Ikr? its not much but I am trying to bring the fandom back to life as best I can but Im pretty much a one woman army lol plus a lot of personal life stuff has had me busy which hindered my efforts a bit that Im trying to make up for now, starting with hosting this years KawaSara week since the original organizers didn't do it last year and didn't appear to be going to this year either, so I took over because I knew we had support, fans were telling me how sad they were that it didn't happen last year and was begging for someone to organize it this year, so I took that upon myself to do because I didn't wanna see the week not happen this year either because nobody else stepped up to make it happen.

It sucks how so many got run off by bsa constantly harassing them and making them fearful of even making content for the ship because they knew they would get harassed and didn't wanna deal with it.

Alot of ppl also lost faith in the ship, which is understandable, but stupid IMO because there are ships that have gone through worse than KawaSara and became canon but for some reason ppl treated this like 'oh no, conflict, no way this is happening' and Im just like...danm yall really don't know how shipping works huh? but I mean to each their own but like Vegebul is right there if you wanna see a ship thats been through some REAL shit and look at em now.

It's like todays new age shipping everything has to be smooth sailing, super healthy, super pure, minimal to no conflict, for ppl to ship it and believe it'll be canon when that just isn't how it goes.

Like I even saw a shade tweet one time talkin about 'I actually like my ships vanilla, whats wrong with actually wanting a healthy ship built on mutual respect and positive development without any conflict or drama etc' and Im just like...OK? who tf said you couldn't? but these newbies actually treat shipping like some purity contest and have a weird superiority complex for liking the 'healthier' ships and anyone who doesn't like the 'healthy' ship are weird and horrible and don't care about xyz characters etc

Its so dumb, and childish, if all storytellers followed their logic then we wouldn't have some of the best ships in fiction because only the 'healthy' ones would be canon.

Nobody is saying they cant like healthy ships, but doing so does not make them superior to anyone else nor does it give them the right to dictate what other ppl should ship simply because they disagree and think only healthy ships should be supported, thats what ppl have a problem with. You can argue the opposite side has done the same but there is a big difference in severity between the two, 'healthy' shippers act way more superior and aggressive than 'toxic' shippers [as they call them] are.

But on the bright side KawaSara week has been announced to be happening this year and a surprising amount of ppl liked and retweeted it, so it just goes to show KawaSara fans DO still exist and enjoy the ship, they just went quiet or into hiding because of the harrassment.

And guess what? even tho the event page was specifically tagged KAWASARA don't you know antis 'somehow' found it? not even a day passed since it was posted before multiple antis flocked to the announcement to talk shit, that is a prime example right there why KawaSara fans got so quiet and discouraged from making content and talking about the ship, because THIS is what happens when you dare not fall in line with the BoruSara hivemind cult.

If you dont treat Sarada like Borutos exclusive property whos whole world and character revolves around him, then you don't care about Sarada or her feelings

Their logic not mine, so if you dare pair Sarada with someone other than Boruto who they believe owns her, then you don't care about her. If you don't support the narrative THEY set for her regardless if its been confirmed or stated as a canon fact or not, then you don't care about her because fanon interpretations > canon.

This is why I say this behavior screams insecure, I dunno how you could be the most popular ship with the biggest fandom and the most support, a hug in both the anime and manga, being 'fed good' more than any other ship, yet still be THIS triggered by KawaSara just EXISTING

keep in mind this is the ship they claim is dead, a crackship with zero chance of happening, yet they get so riled up everytime KawaSara is mentioned or so much as have a crumb together they all flock to try and discredit and undermine it, if KawaSara fans just have even a tiny bit of fun and happiness with the ship they come flocking to discourage you and make you feel bad.

That level of obsession with a ship you claim has NO CHANCE and is a non threat because your ship is already canon and set in stone, admit it or not, but their behavior screams that their threatened and arent really confident in their ship themselves which is why they feel the need to try and keep KawaSara down to lift themselves up because its the only way they feel secure, by making US go away, and when we don't, they get mad, because for some odd reason they just cant stand to see another shp besides BoruSara getting attention, love, and support, it drives them MAD.

Which is why you cant convince me their not insecure about their ship, that their not threatened by KawaSara, because to put it into perspective think about it like this, do you see SNS being bothered by SasuHinas existence? no right? know why? cuz their secure in their ship and don't feel threatened by SH, so SH is free to exist openly without SNS harassing them because they don't care, SH is irrelevant and has zero impact on them.

Thats how you would think BoruSara would be given how they boast about themselves, how much they have going for em, their popularity, their support, many moments, you'd think they'd be on cloud 9 not even paying little ol KawaSara and BoruSumi any mind but they do, and for some reason its KawaSara especially that gets under their skin more than anything which is strange tbh since thats the ship thats not even semi canon yet.

Lemme put that into perspective, they are more insecure about a ship thats not even semi canon yet, than BoruMitsu, BoruSumi, KawaAda and BoruAda that are semi canon [since many bsa also ship ksu] let that sink in.

I dunno why they have such a specific hatred towards KawaSara, maybe its because a lot of them hate Kawaki, and because Boruto is the top male prize and Sarada is the top female prize in their eyes, therefore nobody else is good enough for them but each other. And by top prizes, Im talking primarily about eugenics and status.

Read between the lines, what was Sakura? the pretty girl all the guys wanted, what was Sasuke? the cool handsome guy from a prestigious clan all the girls wanted, now what is Sarada? the cool pretty Uchiha princess, what is Boruto? the cool young lord all the girls fall for, their not subtle about it at all.

They discredit Sumire's feelings as insincere so she don't feel like a threat, they diminish and downplay Kawakis bond with team 7 and insist he's not even a part of it, they weirdly were fixated on Kawaki's body being inorganic and therefor concluding he was infertile and therefore couldn't have kids and therefore that'd be the end of the Uchiha clan if she was with him [which is telling of how they perceive her that her primary goal in the relationship would be popping babies, not love] they deny Kawaki as a part of the Uzumaki fam, saying he's unworthy, Naruto should disown him, etc etc, to keep him as the worthless orphan that deserves to die they want him to be.

Again, read between the lines, they dont give a danm about Boruto and Sarada together fr fr, this ship is about eugenics, this ship is about being able to brag about the young lord baggin the Uchiha heiress/Hokage, its about bragging rights, its about having the ship with the 2 biggest prizes, its about OP babies finally fulfilling their long weirdly held desire to see what those clan bloodlines mixed together would create, its about saying you don't want SS 2.0 except when its the ship you want then suddenly its A-ok

Foh man

Sorry I went on a bit of a rant but It really is annoying that KawaSara fans cant just exist in peace and always gotta hear them telling us why we shouldn't ship it, why it has no chance, why BoruSara is so superior and set in stone and we should just accept it yatta yatta yatta instead of just minding their danm business.

Yes I know all fandoms are guilty of this, but none like BoruSara, why? cuz its a far bigger fanbase with more support and they use it to their advantage, doesn't help that a lot of boruto stans support the ship as well as many Sarada fans [mostly Boruto stans tho] they even have SS and NH support too, so you cannot compare it. Their a much larger fandom with way more support that makes it extremely easy for them to bully every other fandom because their much smaller and they know it, everyone knows it, but they get away with it cuz whos gonna stop em? their the biggest and the loudest and therefore are right by default because the smaller fandoms are just 'haters' and 'jealous' 😒 lemme stop here

Bottom line I agree, it was nice back then before Ikemoto changed so much when he took over the writing after Kodachi left, ever since then he has completely butchered Sarada's character beyond recognition, not because she understandably cares and worries about her friend, but because thats ALL she cares and worries about, I don't think anyone has even noticed that Sarada hasn't mentioned Naruto or her mother once since the timeskip started besides that one speech that wasn't about either of them, but just about her defending Boruto, not about any grief over her idol being killed, not remorse for sending her dad away and leaving her mom without her husband, no the one and only time she mentions them is to defend Boruto which is abusmal, she didn't even mention her own dad until Boruto MADE her ask about him.

If thats the ship you want me to support then Im good, I don't want a ship where her only personality trait, motivations, goals, and character as a whole revolves entirely around a man and nothing else, just how to make HIS life better and being there for HIS pain and growth and only lifting HIM up while staying in the background doing nothing and having nothing going on for herself.

I know this may sound like 'but wait that makes it sound like KawaSara wont be canon' no Im not saying that, KawaSara is not off the table even with all that bs Ikemoto has done so far, like I said with Vegebul and just shipping in general, just because things look bad doesn't mean you lost, you haven't lost until somethings made official.

Are BoruSara together? no, are they semi canon? no, have either of them been shown or confirmed to have romantic feelings for each other? no, so nothing is lost yet, even if they were semi canon that still wouldn't be a loss because the other half has to reciprocate, like just cuz Sakura, Ino, and Karin liked Sasuke didn't mean he had to reciprocate any of them, just like even if Sarada liked Boruto doesn't mean he has to reciprocate those feelings or vice versa.

The only time a ship has truely 'lost' is when its actually dead, like one half of it dies for example, or its rival ship gets together, or their relationship is ruined beyond repair, like to the point of no possibility of redemption, only then has a ship truely 'lost' and 'died'

So no, none of this is me saying KawaSara cant still happen, it definitely can, especially with Ikemoto and Kishimoto saying Kawaki would be getting more development soon so there's that, if we get more Kawaki focus there might be some Sarada focus in there too in between. I don't wanna speculate tho but thats just a possibility Im throwing out there.

Regardless, sorry for the rant, but I'm really frustrated by this too because its 2024 now and ppl still cant leave KawaSara tf alone? thats what I meant when I said they take advantage of their size, they know they can silence us, but nobody can silence them, and that pisses me off but what can you do.

But hopefully the announcement of KawaSara week this year will get the fandom active and making content again for fans to enjoy, I will try to contribute something myself, I can understand why a lot of ppl might not wanna bother because of the hate they know they'll receive but I hope they don't let that stop them, it was bad enough KawaSara week wasn't hosted last year and everyone was really bummed about it, I don't want them to be happy seeing it happen this year only to not participate because antis wont let them have fun and enjoy the event in peace 🙏 I really hope the fam stays strong and don't let antis stop them from enjoying THEIR event.

[scoonsalicious]

The thing abt this is, I’d like to hope that he couldn’t do it to pocket JUST so. But with him doing it twice, and keeping it a secret then fucking pocket after? (Disgusting, BTW) With talks of marriage and all? Sounds to me like he’s very scared of losing her because he DEFF knows he fucked up. I don’t care how much he says he loves pocket. Words are empty, especially from him. WHO BTW PROMISED NOT TO EVEN TALK TO THAT BITCH let alone fuck her. Unless he was under mind control or was drugged, no amount of insecurities and pain justifies him doing that to pocket. I cant believe him anymore when he says he loves pocket so much. Bc, do you do that to the person you very much love??? I’m sorry but NOTHING justifies what he did. What, has he have no sense of self control that he fucks anything with a hole when he’s feeling all sorts of emotion? Or has he have no self control that he finally gives in and fucks Jade? My point here is, if he consciously CHOSE, deliberately DECIDED TO FUCK HER? That’s the end of the story. No need for the whys and all else. You have free will, and you freely chose to put your dick in her cunt. I don’t care if you were so hurt. Pocket got hurt by him too, but he didn’t see pocket fuck anything with girth and length. He didn’t see pocket RESORT to Steve? Unless you were coerced or is in a life or death situation, you are a piece of shit for doing this. He doesn’t deserve pocket, he doesn’t deserve her love. He doesn’t deserve another chance anymore. Pocket deserves better than this bullshit of a boy. What he deserves is to suffer more than pocket. He deserves the pain double if not triple. I don’t care if his “conscience” is eating him, assuming he still has an ounce of it. He doesn’t deserve to die tho, he needs to live with his piece of shit of a decision. He can go be with Jade and live happily ever after with her since apparently, she gives him security and comfort, the fuck. They deserve each other. Truly vile and disgusting.

I hope jade did this with an intention of getting pregnant. And I hope she did! It would be a daily reminder for Bucky. (Tho I think it would be bad as it would also be a stab kn the heart for pocket)

And if ever Pocket is pregnant with Bucky’s? I’m not sure which one is better, for her to keep it and not let Bucky see or even be within the family he so talked abt. And to witness Pocket have her own family that’s not with him, or for pocket to terminate the child and tell Bucky that it’s disgusting and painful to think that a piece of him is inside her and would live in this world. I really don’t care if it’s harsh. He deserves every ounce of pain from this day on.

Also, I know you’ve been getting all sorts of anon asks and most of them are angry. Please remind yourself that all these are not for you. These are for Bucky and/or Jade. Try to not let them get into your head pls, we treasure u just as much as pocket.

It's so rough, because everyone is so rightfully mad at Bucky, and I totally get and support that, but at the same time, I'm like "But I love him, your honor!" Like, I know what's going through his head (cause I put those thoughts there, duh), and I want to scream "THIS IS WHAT HE IS THINKING WHEN HE DOES XYZ!" but I cannot, because that will spoil everything, lol. I just hope I've brought it to a satisfying enough conclusion for everyone.

[changbinsboobs]

interesting so you would say its quite accurate to how they would personally view xyz things? do you then get dreams of them often or not at all? if you get the same info months later then u would know its accurate to what they personally desire or idfk maybe they prefer something else later down the line but i read readings on several groups and theres quite a few similarities among different types of members so leaders seem to be quite possessive maybe tad controlling of their partners, like hongjoong as well for example

I do wonder sometimes bc it is impossible to really know them only from their on screen personality and kpop likes to blur things out that may be considered an imperfection? idk how to describe it but like they cant really be fully themselves so in readings it gives a greater sense of who they are without being too invasive kinda like inside info without doing the stalking that sasaengs do to get such info.

would be so cool to know them personally like u get to see the raw them what they think on xyz subjects not the stuff they cant tell their fans. i bet they have good amounts of gossip about their teammates too. i wonder if their interests in lesser common people stems from the fact kpop is so particular that when theh meet someone entirely different to what kpop is or stands for then it really draws them in to that person or maybe those. i mean with todays technology idols do sometimes have less boundaries or maybe the tendancy to overshare things that dont need to be shared so maybe in readings idols look for people outside of kpop world and maybe thats why they show up in tarot readers dreams so often bc they have particular message or situation going on n they want to show it to someone. sorry for rambling but theyre such interesting ppl.

who in skz do u think would have maybe not a crush on the same person but idk they could have a desire to win the person over from another member if that makes sense?

Hey, so no i don't really dream much about them anymore. But i used to have A LOT of very very interesting dreams with them during a certain period of time. I especially often dream about Lee Know, and i had very interesting dreams with Felix and Hyunjin too. Changbin too but he was kind of a hidden protector and it wasn't really him...ufhfbf i don't know how to explain it but i think I'll make a post someday and love to hear other peoples dreams with them too💗 about your other question with the similarities in readings etc, i did another answer before your where i explain my view a little bit.

And yeah i think tarot is a great way to get closer to the idols - of course consumed and performed in a healthy, respectful way - i believe there might actually be lots of idols that may somehow feel relief through such reading, on an uncounscous level because we shine light on matters they aren't allowed to talk about but would love to express. Like in Chan's case, as i said he seems very eager to "talk" during my readings and is always ready and the first one to spill the tea freely😂 i sometimes can see him giggling and wiggling in excitement, or giving me a spicy side eye or whatever😂

And regarding your question at the end, i still haven't done enough readings on them to be able to just make a speculation, so i layed some cards on it. I don't have a definitive answer but i belive someone was in a relationship and there were 2 members that had their eye on that person. I believe on of the "admirers" was felix. And i have a strong feeling the member with the "girlfriend" was Changbin. Now i put those "" on girlfriend, because it doesnt seem to me that they were necesarily in a relationship, but rather courting? Like they definitely had some give and take at least energetically and in conversations. I cant really tell how far that connection went and if ever really was a relationship but there was def something. And 2 memebrs looked at that person with drool coming out of their mouth😂 felix being one of them, and again i see that weird sleazy energy that freaks me out🥲 its not malicious but its really weird and unnerving, he is very obvious in his liking to that person, but he doesnt take any steps or seem threatening, but his energy is so shameless and direct and penetrating. The other person was more hidden with his liking, but i think changbin still knew. He def knew about felix, and i think he suspected about the other person too. Weirdly enough i dont pick up on him being mad or feeling betrayed or threatened. Quite the oposite actually, i think felt like a boss😂 having "access" or a "chance" with something that others also want. He felt powerful in a way.

*take this with a grain of salt.

[4lbon]

dts s5 e6-8

e6: -having flashbacks of having to defend oscar to my mom for this why does the show try to lean into otmar's perspective so heavily GROSS -nah im full tinhatting i do not remember this whole bit where everyone hypes up oscar in interview before he has his lil chat with mark netflix u slimey lil bitches -oh if i was here when this news broke summer break 2022. i would've been inconsolable. i'm sure it was nuts, ballistic. maybe it was good i wasnt there. idk if i could've handled it akldkfjadslkfjasdkfj -lando saying "i already am (leading the team)" was not that rude it was just the TRUTH sorry -daniel speaking italian is so important actually -"ive been in this sport for 25 years i know what im doing" king that only makes the fumble THAT much more embarrassing COME ON -otmar talking abt how well oscar took all the shit we offered aren't we owed a contract? reminds me of timeshare schemes like actually just u paid for xyz if you dont have a contract in place he doesnt owe u anything maybe do contracts better next time :) -unfortunately zak brown is right!! its a pr disaster is the 5 million worth it!!! and they didnt even get the 5 mil!!! how do lose ur job speedrun masterclass here!! -i do wonder how much netflix inflated daniel's chances for the alpine seat, bc from what i've heard it wasnt really in the conversation. idk i wasnt there but it would make sense for netflix to lean heavily into this narrative -did not realize liam was sitting Right There when pierre was askin abt the gossip aldfjaslkfjaksjdf -the way how in season 1 its like NO DANIEL DON"T LEAVE RED BULL i feel the same way abt pierre going to alpine. like ofc it made perfect sense at the time and you cant fault him for it but like no babygirl its bouta implode PLEASE -rip all the tiktok edits that were muted in the umg purge that paired "good luck to oscar" with "if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing." thank u taylor couldn't have said it better myself -"do you regret anything that's happened?" "um. no :)" U TELL EM BABY

e7: -i'm sorry but geri seemingly getting boiling water from a tap to make tea is so fucking insane rich person cursed -was originally gonna include this funny shot of christian standing looking out a balcony like sharpay evans in high school musical in my s5 gifset but due to recent events i will not :) -i just think. that including this whole bit abt how much checo loves his family in the same episode as the monaco gp where he allegedly cheated on his wife was a CHOICE. interesting. -lewis's monaco 2022 outfit is one of his best outfits ever. its so iconic 2 me -HI ALEX -so many cinematic parallels to discuss. s1 max putting it in the wall in practice and ruining his race to prove he was faster than daniel. known parallels to brocedes ALLEGEDLY trying to sabotage eachother by crashing in that corner in monaco. hmm hmm hmm. much to think -im sorry the sainz collision is just so goofy. i remember watching the replay of this quali and being bamboozled. befuddled. deeply amused. what a stupid fucking sport -'for fucks sa-........okay this is typical monaco isnt it" MAX GETS IT -i honestly dont mind wet monaco races just bc by nature of the track its on average slower therefore less dangerous. i'll take a wet monaco over a wet spa any damn day -ferrari's double pit fuck up is PEAK embarassing ferrari strats. like to do a bad strat is one thing but to just mess up the strat ur trying to do. peak biblically cursed charles leclerc moment

e8: -god i wish i got more into yukierre. i see the appeal. unfortunately they just dont give me brain worms -many thoughts. um i think focusing on yuki's temper is just. unfair. like sure he should work on it but thats an issue with many young drivers its not a unique failure on his part -i have given thoughts on japan '22 before i'm not rly gonna rehash but i really wish the didn't gloss over it on dts. i think it was an important moment in the sport to have a big conversation abt rain safety. -oh this nyck supercut is gonna be painful knowing where it goes :/ -god remember when ppl thought nyck was gonna lead the team? leave yuki in the dust? even /i/ had him above yuki in my preseason predictions isnt that insane? -"im happy, i'll take that, that you'll miss me at least 2 or 3 minutes" god forgot the most romcom ass shit since sebchals we'll start by holding hands -nando n lance having this crazy crash and now a year later they're fucking on the reg. happy 4 them

[naturalbornlosers]

actually. i dont normally get this personal so i might delete this later but geez i need somewhere to put this or i'll go insane.

we lost my grandfather a year ago and Christmas has sucked ass this year. i'm overstimulated and exhausted. my family doesn't even try to connect with me. it's like i dont fucking exist anymore to them except as a problem-solver ("can you help me find xyz?") or a piece of furniture or someone to dictate later plans to or a fucking memory pad ("don't let me forget,") or a problem. we try to eat dinner together and i dont open my mouth a moment in the conversation bc there's no opening for me, there's no topic i can contribute to, no one even tries to include me, and the only time i'm spoken to is to tell me plans we're doing later. i wanna make something with my family and it gets brushed off. i wanna do something, it gets brushed off. i bought us a game to play and we're taking it down when we take my grandmother back home bc no one could be assed to remember to play it even though i made sure it appealed to all of our interests.

my mom made a joke about "oh we're just giving you money because we have no idea what you want haha!" and while yeah, i am grateful for the money, it fucking SUCKS that every time ive talked to her about my interests - about our shared interests and hobbies, too - it sounds like it's gone in one ear and right out the other!! i've shown her in person things i would like to eventually get in the future, all year. and it's like… none of it matters. no one tries. no one tries when it's me, but everyone else gets thoughtful things and i'm even still planning to get more things for my mom and my grandmother. no one tries to engage with my interests. my interests actually get made fun of here and there or outright dismissed ("i'm sure [person] doesn't wanna hear about xyz" is said often when im infodumping) and everything i like is trivial. everything i like is fodder to be mocked by my moms husband and just goes in one ear out the other with my mom and my grandmother has no idea what to do with my interests.

and, fuck, now my family doesnt believe i have endometriosis or pcos bc my ultrasound came back fine even though i explained to them repeatedly that it may not show up on an ultrasound. they dont want me to get a second opinion. they dont think its worth it, trying to find out why im in so much pain i miss class/life events and why im so sick and fatigued every month i cant leave the house sometimes. i just sit around like a decoration. i get teased for being on my phone. i get teased for not eating the same things everyone else does. and to top it all off, my moms husband vaguely threatened me tonight in front of everyone and no one did a fucking thing. no one even acknowledged that he just flat out went "dont do xyz, if you do xyz, there's gonna be a problem" in a very clear manner of 'you are going to be in deep shit'. which is fucking tiresome bc he tried to kick me out three separate times in 2020. once bc my bathroom wasn't tidy enough (just a bit cluttered, but i dont have much counter space, so naturally it was cluttered), once bc he wanted to turn my bedroom into storage and have me move into the attic spare room, and once bc "this is my castle and i am the king and if you don't like it you can leave". this was during a time i had no friends irl, no bank account, couldn't drive, no job, nobody around i could go to… he knew full well he could just toss me out and no one would say a fucking word.

i'm learning how to drive. and then i'll get a job. and then i'll move out. and then i'll put this shit behind me. but i fucking hate being in a room full of my family and feeling like none of them know me. that i'm entirely alone. that i don't fucking exist and everything i am is trivial and doesn't matter. if i make plans, there's a high chance they wont happen or will get changed last minute and then i get mocked for being upset about it like i'm a child who doesn't get how the world works. i'm twenty four. i'm young for sure, but fucking hell, i'm not six.

i just don't wanna be here. i'm gonna keep on keepin' on. but i want things to change for the better and i know they wont until i move out. i just don't believe i will actually, ever, leave this house. ughh. i'll survive but holy shit i'm gonna be screaming the entire time.

[post-it-free]

The Biden administration DOES talk about their wins, they issue press releases and statements through all their usual channels. But the media does not find "adequate" government interesting. Now, *I* might find it to be a wiser strategy to focus more on "marketing" these things, I am not disappointed that instead the focus is on...doing the job, rather than talking about it (more talk tends to mean less gets done, simply because there are only so many hours).

I don't see how you look at a list of concrete things this administration has done, call it "ineffective posturing", but also apparently that posturing doesn't count as talking about wins? I think we should always, always push politicians to do more, but this complaint strikes me as "well, x, y, z good things don't matter, what about abc?" Can you honestly tell me that if abc were being addressed (slightly) more to your liking, the criticism would not be "but what about xyz?". The system has been designed and tweaked for decades to let companies do whatever they want, there is no quick fix.

I would need more specifics about him "consider[ing] any action outside his limited historical purview". Because sometimes what people are getting at is, they want Biden to exercise powers presidents have not/were not supposed to use, but for, like...good causes. Which, yes, is tempting. But that's half the reason the Dems are slow in fixing things (plus, it's easier to destroy than fix): the dems generally hold themselves to the rule of law. They know that some of these constraints are to stop power-hungry monsters from exercising too much power. It is bad for a functioning society when someone with power says, actually, these constraints don't apply to me because Good Reasons. Which is (one of many reasons) why Trump is such a nightmare. If we want to distance ourselves from "whoever is in power can do whatever they want", unfortunately, we have to live that. "Packing the court" is not something he can just *decide* to do on a whim.

Regarding your other comments about the things Biden supposedly didn't do: he did issue an executive order saying hospitals can/should perform them if the doctor feels the woman's life/health is in danger. This was challenged by Texas, because they thought "what if a doctor just *claims* it was to save a woman's life". But the federal backing was there. He tried to cancel student debt; SCOTUS said no. He tried again; there is another court injunction stopping it. DESPITE that, he still cancelled what he could for 150k people https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/4480304-biden-cancels-student-debt-for-150k-borrowers/. Which is not enough, but probably matters to those 150k. His Justice Department DID take on google in an anti trust case. (Remember, DOJ, as well as a lot of other departments, are presidentially appointed).

Also, at the end of the day: Biden is not a fascist. His administration is not fascist. He is not trying to make it so republicans cant vote. He would work with whatever Congress we gave him. If Donald Trump gets the electoral college, he will step down, because he will follow the rules about how the people (EC notwithstanding) get to pick their leader. I'd vote for a moose before I allow a fascist to legitimately gain power.

[thirtydaysinamonth]

my 1st sem starts july. in a month. its weird bc ive not had a break for 2 years. and now i wont have a break for the next 5 years. eveyrthing feels a little weird and overwhelming. i love my friends but this si happening so fast. ill be thrust into this new era in my life and im unsure than i was 3 months ago.

i cant articulate how i feel rn. im about to start writing in my new journal. i decided to switch to a new one when i start college. dont know how consistently ill write in it.

i met a friend after 5 years of not meeting her. it was surreal to be together inm y room again. it was natural as soon as i met her. we talked for a bit.

i just feel deflated. at night i have so many racing thoughts and many of them are so poetic i feel like writing them down but i get too lazy to pull out my phoen or diary. i also just fear that the minute i put my figners on a keybaord or hold a pen to write down something profound ill lose that thought or ill never do justice to the feeling im feeling.

one thought i had recently was about whether your past matters. it was in context to interviews for colleges or jobs. i think its sad how we expect to leave no space for correction or for change in these industry run, market driven enterprises. you have to be the best in the first go or why are you even here. why are you here if you oculdnt figure out your life goals in your teens. i think its scary that these panels expect eveyrone to have this perfect answer to their life choices. do my past choices reflect my future performance? just because the initial years of my student life saw several changes, does it mean my future middle aged self will be impulsive?

another thought is about addiciton. a very close relative is an alcoholic and i dont know how t odeal with it. should i feel resentment towards the shit theyve given to my mother and my other relatives? should i be empathetic to thier condiiton and realize that it is a disease too? is it a choice or is it a compulsion? do i judge or do i not judge? what to feel. how to not be hurt by their decisions.

anothe thought is on anxious attachment. i think i realized my best friend had been anxiously attached to me a while ago but only recently have i been affected by it. since i realized my own anxious attachment to my ex, i realize how suffocating it is. to be reassuring this person while knowing they dont want to seek the professional help that they need. i feel straight up annoyed now that i have to help her take every decision in her life and its making me feel like fuck i need space, i need space, i need space. from college applications to ordering food for her to deciding for her what to eat. its just so many things that earlier i didnt have a problem with but now i do. the random projecting insecurities and the not telling me what she wants or if she is upset about xyz thing. i also realized how much she bails on me and its a shit feeling. so many times ive been like okay its fine she's going thru her migraine episodes, she doesnt WANT to skip. but idk so many times having to reschedule or cancel. and then she thinks i dont want to spend time with her. which is wild. fuck i am pretty resentful about this nwo that i think about it.

im just someone who will take ur words at face value. and not look for a deeper meaning. if ur mad at me and u pretend like ur not, i will simply not ask if ur mad at me. i cannot read your mind and definitely not if its been churning inside you for the past 7 months. if u have something to say, say it whenever u want but dont expect me to read u when u cleraly havent expressed why ur sad/upset.

i realized i did this a lot to my ex. sucks to be on the other side. i have a lot of respect for his paitence. im just sick of people for a bit. enough of boys and enough of people.

i love my grandparents place. its so cute and lovely and slow paced. so nice.

[angelicgaming1007]

Continuation:

It wasn't just the mods and owner I had issues with. Half the people on the site were selfish rpers, the type that only cared about god modding their characters, derail the RP entirely, and then would call me a monster and toxic and a control freak for trying to get things back on track. Because it was the BEGINNING of the RP. Like im sorry Karen but I'm not going to let you have your character run off as soon as we start and spend 3 days real time trying to "comfort your traumatized character" when we haven't even had the characters or world INTRODUCED. (I wish I was exaggerating this is something that actually happened) Being a GM SUCKED and trying to join other RPs wasn't much better because everyone would drop it or someone would come in and F*ck it all up. It was beyond toxic. I tried 6 other forum sites after I left that site. All of them were the same way and far more NSFW. Eventually I tried discord RPs same problems Tried Sites for looking for partners, Same problems Tried finding RP partners on reddit, it started out okay but then same problems. One rp partner: Would constantly want harems, would force me to play characters in the way they wanted they always had an idea of how they wanted MY characters to act and nothing I did was good enough and when I tried to talk it out with them they basically told me that they would quit the rp and stop being my friend if I didn't give in. So I have one friend less now. Another RP partner: We layed out and planned the RP world. Then they turned around and told me "You need to ask me before you do xyz" I cant remember what it exactly was now but it was something we already planned together literally for weeks before starting which I pointed out. They said to still tell them next time I was like "ookay so are you still okay with this or do you want to go back to planning again because if you changed your mind thats cool just tell me" they said they were okay to continue with the plan. so I did. then they told me I was a horrible rp partner and don't communicate and its like WTF? I tried to talk to them about it but they talked sh*t behind my back for it. Thing is they put minimum effort in their posts by that I mean it was things like "She walks over to xyz and then says (insert text here)" no emotions no nothing, no descriptions everything was short and cold and stiff. and full of one liners but she boasted about being a good writer and partner. So I tried RPing by myself with myself. it was harder because I had no one to bounce off of. Character AI and such platforms GIVE me that person to bounce off of with an AI. It lets me do something I love again I've missed doing. That I have had to miss out on because of sh*tty people Forum RP places aren't all they are cracked up to be and had a plenthora of issues back when I was a teen. I think the RP community is messy and finding the right partners is hard. AI can give that partner and if people are happy why does it matter? because I sure as hell don't feel like I connected to people in my time on forums. It was toxic.

i dont like the idea that kids these days are doing their fandom rps with ai chatbots. that's how you're supposed to make lifelong friends as a weird really online teen.

[littlewolf651]

I did not buy nor I want to play that wizard game. But let me tell you what happened to me today.

I have been helping with Turkey communication efforts to reestablish essential networks so people can coordinate better. Im part of a computer science volunteers team and we have known each other since the pandemic (we got together to help with BLM) This time we have worked non stop, taking turns only to eat and sleep naps till we finally got the main channels we were working on to hold themselves up. We were *tired*, but someone in our team had been trying to keep the morale up speaking about that game, because they have some experience in game dev so while we waited they would give their predictions and expectations about xyz mechanic. Thats not my area but it was refreshing to hear something that was not about the people dying.

When we finally made it, we said our goodbyes and went directly to sleep. I just woke up and saw the tag of the game on tumblr. I was expecting to read about people enjoying stupid animations or maybe the music, but what I have gathered is people sending each other to hell.

Look, fuck JKR, but playing a game made by hundreds of artists and programmers that made at least a decent job for what Im gathering, is not synonym with being a horrible person. And I say this because is more complicated than that, and is dangerous to simplify things so much. Is dangerous to use the same rhetoric of the person you go against. And is so dam exhausting to see people wasting energy in pitch and forks when real problems are right there.

Just be kind. Humans are stupid and like little stupid games. Millionaires are despicable but difficult to take down. We cant control most things, but at least we don’t have to make other people day difficult.

My apologies for writing this. I needed to get it out and your blog seemed more peaceful than most.

I don’t see how stating my opinion on this matter makes my blog less ‘peaceful’. I’m just making my stance on this clear. My tumblr isn’t made to cater to a specific fandom or aesthetic. I like, reblog, and post what I want. I understand wanting people to chill out about it. But a lot of people that are saying that are missing the point of the discourse.

Look, I love gaming. It’s my escape. I literally just finished playing Dishonored: Death of the Outsider and am about to play Subnautica Below Zero. Gaming is great.

However people from both the trans and Jewish communities have explicitly asked people not to condone and play this game, because it’s success ultimately just continues to hurt them in the long run.

If your want to ignore them and play it then go ahead! I’m not gonna stop you or condemn you for it. You don’t have to justify to me why people want to play it. If you wanna ignore the voices of other communities for the sake of your own enjoyment, then fine.

But there are hundreds if not thousands of other video games out there that you can play that don’t have this kind history of routinely hating on other communities.

Besides reviews for the game are pretty mid anyways. I’d rather go play Horizon 2 again.

Anyways, I don’t wanna talk about this anymore so here’s a picture of my cat to cheer people up. Ain’t he cute?

[shadow-bouquet]

alright bout to drop a lil truth bomb for all the allos/hypersexuals out there:

being asexual/aromantic does not prevent you from having a libido, enjoying physical closeness or smooches etc

being asexual does not prevent you from being in a relationship, either with or without sex involved

being asexual does not entitle you to be the object of sexual objectification! if anything me not reciprocating means u should probably just hook up with someone on tinder/grindr/etc and stop bullying an asexual

being asexual/aromantic is not “being aloof” and i honestly find the whole “uninterested = attractive” trait to be incredibly toxic. If i seem uninterested, especially after the 50th time you ask; im probably not interested, and thats exactly why i act that way

being asexual/aromantic is not something to be changed by “meeting the right person” or can be “talked out of”. And especially miss me with that hurt puppy shit like its some attack on u. nah chief i dont wanna date/smush. not specifically u. i dont want that at all, with anyone

being asexual/aromantic is not a hard and fast specific rule! u can be whichever way you want to be and still identify on the asexual spectrum. there are many terms out there which you may find suit you, and of course above all its most important to be and feel like yourself! if (especially an allo) tells you “you cant be ace/aro and also XYZ” theyre probably spouting nonsense like a tea kettle left too long on the boil.

asexual does not mean: you literally feel nothing down there, although it can for some! (as it does for me personally)

for aromantics, i know i brought this up earlier and to be honest if you’re having trouble here please let me, or someone else you know help out: if someone is pressuring you into a relationship, and its not something you can safely reciprocate and they keep going on about how much they love you, and they might be confusing you about platonic love compared to romantic and you’re confused? chances are, a serious, classical sense “relationship” is NOT what you are looking for, and theyre trying to gaslight or manipulate you. personally ive had people try to “win” a relationship with me like im some kind of forbidden prize, which is super gross. please do, again, reach out if you feel pressured into something you dont want to do; be it romantic, sexual, anything.

also, can we mention that being aromantic does not stop you being affectionate? i like to cuddle, i like to smooch, i like to make the people around me comfy and happy. does that mean i want to be in a “relationship”? no. I don’t feel that sort of “desire” or craving or “need”. But i do enjoy being in a QPR (queer platonic relationship, essentially a friendship+ where u are a little more affectionate while still maintaining safe and healthy boundaries and communications) as well as flirting or just being cute!

also any sort of affectionate behaviour is NOT “leading someone on” or “being untrue” or hurtful. you are simply being yourself and to say that what is quite literally your romantic orientation is wrong is a horrible horrible thing. its something that ace and aro people have to deal with incredibly often because affection automatically meaning sex or romantic correlation is such a prevalent idea in our society. but that doesnt make it okay.

being ace and/or aro is not a mental illness nor invalid. simple as that. we exist, and we’re not mentally ill for having these orientations.

make sure u have ace friends to talk about this with! this post might help, but its also important to have friends who u can validate when things arent okay with and also feel safe around. feel free to reach out to your local ace/aro friend or equally just respond or shoot me a message! i always love meeting new friends esp in the asexual and aromantic circles.

that being said, hope u live ur best life and have a wonderful day! pls help where u can even as an ally and be respectful and helpful :)

[dreamgirledward]

OMG HI i just jay these but i’ll ask u the same ones too 10. 13 (cas. or dean if u want). 17. 22. 23. :)

oOoOhhH

10. Most disliked arc. Why? oh god british mol 100% i dont even have to think about that lol. (ok you know what actually this is a tie between something else but ill get to it.) it honest to god feels like a bunch of americans who have never met a british person and ONLY watched harry potter decided to create a supporting british cast solely off of that. it's very stupid. first of all, the accents are awful. second of all they fucked up SO BADLY when they could have used this as a way to open up the world a bit more, to have the men of letters american chapter-houses revived but they just.......never did??? i think?? the bmol also just ceased to exist once that plot finished up too which was also REALLY bad writing imo. this is all to say mick was the best of that bunch and he shouldve had the screen time ketch did lol. i dont care for redemption arcs for characters that annoyed me from the start. ketch was fun randomly but my god did i get bored of him FAST. anyway the other arc i despised was the crowley and lucifer pet play one not because either of them (mark and misha) did terribly but because it was WEIRD AS FUCK. like i get it! it's lucifer! he's a sicko! but also - crowley was treated like absolute SHIT despite him being so beloved as a character (also beloved for being so fluid when it came to gender and sexuality!!!!!) so to me personally it just made me angry.

13. Unpopular opinion on Dean.

this took me A WHILE to think about tbh but hmmmm i guess an unpopular opinion would be that dean knew he was bisexual for a LONG time and knew he had feelings for cas (i know these arent unpopular but hold on), but chose to be ready to never say anything for a very long time or even forever. I truly believe he started realizing he had feelings for cas in purgatory but wouldnt EVER tell him unless he was like on his death bed because.......honestly??? i DO think he wouldve been dumb about everything and told himself angels cant feel romantic love, not to sound like jackles LOL. like i GENUINELY believe it's very in-character for dean to be like what?? angels ??? they cant love someone like That. despite HIM loving cas that way, he wouldnt want to spoil their relationship by making things weird. like!!! that's his BEST FRIEND!!! his first TRUE friend !!! of COURSE he wouldnt want to say anything!!!! that's also why i think it makes so much sense for him to have told cas he loved him as he's about to DIE in 8x17. like in his head it's 'well, nothing to lose this way if i say it and dont have to live with the Consequences!' i also think that's what makes dean's reaction to meeting adam and serafina (was that her name??) with jack such a big deal!!!!! because he's looking at an angel choosing to live with a human they fell in love with forever like 👁👄 👁⁉️ so it IS possible?????????????

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

ok i think we all would automatically say 15x19-20 should be erased from existence bc we all have the better spn in our heads :) so i wont talk about that. im gonna pick something fun: instead of bobby-john being stolen back by the shifter and never heard from again, i think they should have killed the shifter alpha and kept him !!!!!!!!!!! that baby should have been raised by a community! by two stupid brothers, an angel and their friends that all got too used to killing things without thinking and suddenly have to REALLY think about why they're killing something they automatically deem a 'monster'. the mol arcs were cool (depending on which ones we talk about) BUT i dont like how 'just another day at the office' they turned hunting into. bobby-john deserved a good life, and the boys and cas would have learned A LOT from raising him. i think they all would have benefited and given how we see jack grow up being raised by the three of them, it would have been AMAZING.

22. Popular character you hate?

Uh i literally cant think of like the Popular ones that i genuinely hate??? so im gonna cheat and say a character ive seen people like a lot but i really hate would be.......maggie??? she annoyed me to NO end especially in the beginning. i didnt understand the point of her tbh. no hate at ALL to the actress of course. should be obvious but i feel like i should point that out lol

23. Unpopular character I love?

ok honestly id have to say asmodeus HAHAHAHA i thought he brought camp to his season. i thought the way he tortured gabriel was, yes extremely cruel and nasty but also SOOOOO interesting i wish that was expanded on more. i LOVED that they called him colonel sanders right off the bat. the accent was so unnecessary and so funny. i honestly thought it was so interesting that he sounded like that bc tbh the show NEEDED to poke fun at more characters like this. i wish the white suit was a bit more elaborate tbh. i envisioned him being wayyy more ridiculous - he shouldve had a cowboy hat and a bolo tie and a few more accessories. i wish he was LITERALLY like possessing the body of a tv evangelist or something that would have been SO MUCH FUN.

[skyfires]

irl sad things i just need to vent

so my mom is in a rehab center that she’s chosen to live in until end of life. she’s had this really awesome roommate who is like her platonic soulmate.  her roommate died tonight.

it’s the opposite of unexpected. and my mom is handling it exactly as one would think. she’s really sad so i immediately jumped to attention and offered to come over tonight. she doesn’t want that so i said ok ill come over tomorrow after class. it’s gonna be hard for a bit but again, her roomie had been on deaths door for over a month. she’s truly in a better place, whatever that really means. she’s not in pain anymore.

so my sister calls me and says that mom told her that her roomie died and she couldn’t talk. and i was like yep i was just talking to her. my sister has a habit of meaning well but naming every single excuse about why she can’t do something. so she’s going on a rant to me about all of the reasons she cant go see mom on xyz day.

like. ok? i’m so tired of her excuses. you can’t go see mom. i understand that. but then she’s like “well i can go on thursday so i can give you a day off” and i didn’t say it to her but like

i dont GET days off

my mom calls me every day. every single day. i’m the one who takes care of her. i’m the power of attorney. i’m the one who holds her when she cries. who deals with her moods. so like honestly? sure go over there im glad. but ill be there everyday anyway.

i just....her excuses hurt me so much more than anything. because she just....doesn’t need to tell me. just say ok i think i can do thursday afternoon. or be like ok ill check my calendar and get back to you.

this is the same sister who had the audacity to once tell me i have to keep her updated and ask her for help. like....why would i ask for your help when its always “well i have....”

when mom was in the hospital she COMPLAINED TO ME when we switched off during visitor hours that she was missing her WALKING HOUR while her kid was in volleyball.

THEN. DON’T. COME.

it’s all bullshit. i’m tired. now i’m sad. my heart is heavy. my sister makes me angry. i need to let the anger go because it makes my heart more heavy.

anyway if you read this thanks for sharing my burden. my mom always says when you share something with someone it halves your burden so the more you share the better it is because you get a community to share a little bit with you. my mom is pretty damn cool.

[sab-teraa]

o.m.g.

i finally caught up with AMI. (spoilers)

best part of ep 16 was when everyone was freaking out at the hospital and ozan actually called chynar to let him know where/how esra was. i thought that was very commendable. you think chynar would do the same for ozan?

ep 17, oh mannn. its getting gooooood. psh, why would chynar think he has any right to pay esra's family's debt? get outa here. but omgggg the last 5 seconds! what a twist!

im actually really enjoying this pacing and story. its, to my surprise, still very gripping! the mutual jealousy and pining and heartbreak is well written and, at least to me, it doesnt seem like we're going in circles. they may repeat a set up but the outcome will go the other way the second time. (they accused esra of hurting the company before and ozan got her arrested. now hes learned. finally....)

im trying hard not to hate chynar looool. but god, hes so annoying. chagla is just fun to hate at this point. almost impressed at her persistence and determination. esp for a man who is so repulsed by her. im also trying hard not to get pissed at ozan. but if he doesnt get more serious about his divorce, like... esra remains smart and strong and fabulous.

cant wait for next epi! i am realllllly hoping we get esra and ozan to team up against chagla, who is just blatantly sabotaging the company now. i need them to take her downnnnn. ya thats all my thoughts :)

Hey hey my lovely <3 So so sorry for the late reply, I wanted to catch up with subs before I responded! Episode 16: I agree! It was extremely commendable. Ozan's main priority has always been to ensure that Esra is okay + happy, no matter how that makes him feel! Tho, he did backtrack for a bit lol. I also loved how he fought against her family + friends to see her ... we know how much Ozan values and respects them, so for him to go against them was just wow! Plus, that scene where he looked at his hands covered in blood?? GOOSEBUMPS! Tbh, I don't think C*nar would. C*nar sees Ozan as competition and is determined to paint this image that he knows Esra best and is the best choice for Esra. As such, even if the situation was dire, I doubt he would go to Ozan for help. For C, it would be surrendering to Ozan and accepting his defeat. What do you think? :)

Episode 17: Yes yes yes! I agree with all your points! With regards to C*nar, he is honestly a walking red flag ... I mean?? His lack of work ethic, his entitlement with regards to money, putting up her parent's cafe on the app without talking to her, offering Esra a job so she has to spend time with him, demanding that she always tell him xyz, following her, investigating into her past, revealing their relationship to everyone without talking to her, DEMANDING THAT EVERYTHING CONCERNING HER GO THROUGH HIM FIRST and TAKING HER TO A CLUB ON THEIR FIRST DATE?? Yuck. If there's one thing I've realized about C*nar, its that his anger towards Ozan doesn't stem from his 'love' for Esra, rather it's the fact that he feels humiliated and embarrassed over the fact that he made himself a fool in front of Ozan. What do you think? :)  I agree. That entire mutual jealousy and pining scene was just brilliant. I also loved the inclusion of the flashback ... it really emphasized how much EsZan love each other and how sacred these moments once were. It was also great to see Esra’s actions + reasonings somewhat parallel that of Ozans ... they finally showed the audience that Esra isn’t as flawless as Ozan + the audience think.  I also loved the parallels between Esra-Ozan vs Esra-C*nar. The flower one was particularly v heartbreaking :( and it also emphasized that C*nar thinks that he can apologise with gifts rather than with words?? Dummy lol! Plus, she was so nonchalant when C*nars ex appeared + was flirting with him lol ... if it was ozan, sis would have lost it loooooool!  Also, we saw her somewhat back down on a fight with C*nar ... a complete contrast to when she is with Ozan. I realised that arguing (petty and serious) is somewhat their love language .... i mean Ozan literally visited her the night before his wedding to C*gla to fight lol. If they can’t be together and express their love the way they want, fighting is the next option. I defo think they get this from their mums LOL! Petty arguments is defo their love language ... Menekshe was so upset that Zumrut would now fight with the twins mum instead LOL.  I loved that scene of Ozan ‘crying’ on the balcony. It was HEARTBREAKING! We know he is an extremely emotional person, but we rarely see him cry ... personally I think this has a lot to do with Zumrut and the fact that she always suppressed her sadness and never cried in front of anyone (we saw this in ep 8). Like his mum, he keeps his insecurities + emotions bottled up ... way more than we think.  MY ABSOLUTE FAVE PART WAS OZAN CALLING C*AGLA ESRA LMAOOOOOO! I watched it like 10 times and laughed each time lol. I wanted a cheating trope, but this was better lol. I also loved Zumurt realizing that she hates C*gla LMAOOO.  The twins Same. At this point I’m over them lol. I can’t wait for C*nar to enter a similar villain era to his sister. His storyline bores me LOL. With regards to C*gla ... nothing she does surprises me anymore lol.  Ozan + Esra Oooooo, I did notice that he looked high-key annoyed in the car when C*gla mentioned that she stopped the divorce proceedings, but that could be my Ozan bias lol.   With regards to Esra, I’m trying not to get annoyed with her lol. I don’t understand how one can say such things and when he sees it unfold in front of his eyes, be upset that he possibly moved on?? She literally saw him begging her + how close he was to breaking point, and she still pushed it knowing the consequences.  If anything, if I was Ozan I would be mad at her lol. Like, yes you want to protect me ..... but why don’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth? She’s the only one who refuses to acknowledge how strong Ozan is + his problem solving skills lol. She defo gets this from her mum ... her mum has constantly carried the family’s burdens ...  and Esra sees it as the norm and something she must do to ensure that her loved ones are happy.  I have to admit, Esra is not to blame entirely. Ozan’s biggest issue is that he finds his value and self-worth in Esra, and if she is not there, he is unable to function. While at the same time he is afraid to share his insecurities with her out of fear that she would leave him.  Have you watched episode 18 and 19? I would love to hear your thoughts!