#i was like man im scared ive overestimated how close we are cuz i feel close to u but i have no idea how u feel about me
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#shes so confsuing to me to the point the other week iw as like can we talk#not about my actual feelings but iw as sitting ther elike hello do u see me as someone close to u?#and like maybe an unfair question to ask but i also think we've gotten to a point where she wouldn't have necessarily lied also like#idk#i was like man im scared ive overestimated how close we are cuz i feel close to u but i have no idea how u feel about me#and she was like yeah id like to think we are close ive told u things ive told few ppl which yeah!#i know that !#i think what was confusing for me too was like her actions and i was like this is a good thing of u but it also feels like#youd do certain things for anyone like things id maybe not#for her closeness she says is more emotional vulnerability than anything so for her sharing things is a sign#rather than doing things for people (?)#her nature is just someone whos very helpful very selfless person to the point where id wish shed think about herself a little more lol#convo was nice tears were shed on both sides but in the end idk if i said what i wanted to say#but also it has left me more confused cuz im like okay if we r close then why do u treat xyz person like this and not me#so funny to cuz she was like she has tiers of favorites not like u know rankings but idk i didnt fully tell her this#but to me her favorites are SO clear like#she tends to stick to whoever she feels closest to in a given group i think so#i started to ask her a bit abt it i was like uhh ik u said that u dont have favs but xyz person feels like ur no.1 and idk how to#really navigate that in a group setting (honestly i cant ever tell if im third wheeling w them like its to THAT extent)#and then xyz person came so the conversation stopped lol#or rather changed haha#rambles#dl
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