#importanttothinkabout!!!

[shadow-bouquet]

alright bout to drop a lil truth bomb for all the allos/hypersexuals out there:

being asexual/aromantic does not prevent you from having a libido, enjoying physical closeness or smooches etc

being asexual does not prevent you from being in a relationship, either with or without sex involved

being asexual does not entitle you to be the object of sexual objectification! if anything me not reciprocating means u should probably just hook up with someone on tinder/grindr/etc and stop bullying an asexual

being asexual/aromantic is not “being aloof” and i honestly find the whole “uninterested = attractive” trait to be incredibly toxic. If i seem uninterested, especially after the 50th time you ask; im probably not interested, and thats exactly why i act that way

being asexual/aromantic is not something to be changed by “meeting the right person” or can be “talked out of”. And especially miss me with that hurt puppy shit like its some attack on u. nah chief i dont wanna date/smush. not specifically u. i dont want that at all, with anyone

being asexual/aromantic is not a hard and fast specific rule! u can be whichever way you want to be and still identify on the asexual spectrum. there are many terms out there which you may find suit you, and of course above all its most important to be and feel like yourself! if (especially an allo) tells you “you cant be ace/aro and also XYZ” theyre probably spouting nonsense like a tea kettle left too long on the boil.

asexual does not mean: you literally feel nothing down there, although it can for some! (as it does for me personally)

for aromantics, i know i brought this up earlier and to be honest if you’re having trouble here please let me, or someone else you know help out: if someone is pressuring you into a relationship, and its not something you can safely reciprocate and they keep going on about how much they love you, and they might be confusing you about platonic love compared to romantic and you’re confused? chances are, a serious, classical sense “relationship” is NOT what you are looking for, and theyre trying to gaslight or manipulate you. personally ive had people try to “win” a relationship with me like im some kind of forbidden prize, which is super gross. please do, again, reach out if you feel pressured into something you dont want to do; be it romantic, sexual, anything.

also, can we mention that being aromantic does not stop you being affectionate? i like to cuddle, i like to smooch, i like to make the people around me comfy and happy. does that mean i want to be in a “relationship”? no. I don’t feel that sort of “desire” or craving or “need”. But i do enjoy being in a QPR (queer platonic relationship, essentially a friendship+ where u are a little more affectionate while still maintaining safe and healthy boundaries and communications) as well as flirting or just being cute!

also any sort of affectionate behaviour is NOT “leading someone on” or “being untrue” or hurtful. you are simply being yourself and to say that what is quite literally your romantic orientation is wrong is a horrible horrible thing. its something that ace and aro people have to deal with incredibly often because affection automatically meaning sex or romantic correlation is such a prevalent idea in our society. but that doesnt make it okay.

being ace and/or aro is not a mental illness nor invalid. simple as that. we exist, and we’re not mentally ill for having these orientations.

make sure u have ace friends to talk about this with! this post might help, but its also important to have friends who u can validate when things arent okay with and also feel safe around. feel free to reach out to your local ace/aro friend or equally just respond or shoot me a message! i always love meeting new friends esp in the asexual and aromantic circles.

that being said, hope u live ur best life and have a wonderful day! pls help where u can even as an ally and be respectful and helpful :)