#tell me if theres one u want to see
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Ken Amada
#persona 3#llemon art#p3 reload#persona 3 reload#ken amada#persona 3 dancing in moonlight#he is like son to me#i love ken so much#i need to draw him more#i want to draw mor characters dancing outfits#pls#tell me if theres one u want to see#or just give me something to draw#im dying here#preferably persona related...#any of the games will do 💔
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Was talking with a friend abt the drawing and man sometimes I don't realise how much I overthink every single drawing
#friend: ooh i like how nene has hands on ruis shoulde– me: BC ITS THE EVENT WHERE RUI NEWRLY LEFT AND HES HESIRATING AND BACK THEN NENE WAS#LIKE I SEE SMTH IS ON UR MIND AND U DONT HAVE TO TELL ME BUT IM HERE FOR U AND SHES ALWAYS THERE SUPPORTING HIM AND I WNATED TO SHOW IT#AND HE HOLDS HER HAND BC HE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT SUPPRT BUT HE DOESNR TURN BACK TI HER BC HE DIDNT TELL HER IN THE END#BUT HE IS LOOKING FORWARD - TOWARSS THE NEXT RUI WIRH EMU - BC HE WANTS TO GO FORWARD WITH THEM#THATS WHY HES TOUCHING THE FLOWERS WITH THE OTHER HAND TOO#AND THE OTHER RUIS ARE GOING FORWARD AND THIS INE IS THE ONLY ONE THATS STANDING AND NOT MOVING. BC OF THAT HESITATION TO GO TO ARCLAND#BUT NENE IS ALSO SLIGHTLY PUSHING HIM WHILE SUPOORTING HIM. BC ITS THE THOUGHT OF BEING WITH HIS FRIENDS THAT MAKES HIM STAY WITH WXS#AND AND–#friend: okay i see. and theres ruikasa– me: RUIKASA AND WODNER HALLO—#*forcefully self detonates to stop myself from talkiing*#im normal. totally normal#keri rambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ���don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
Did or does anything inspire your art? It’s so fun and unique
I do have artists (both Established and like Peers/Mutuals) I enjoy and I do pluck traits from art I like as I see fit to mold my own but I don't have any conscious inspiration ykwim...ive had ppl tell me my art looks like or reminds them of things i like, whether "vibe based" (stuffed animals) or a specific media (care bears) but i dont consciously draw inspiration from care bears ykwim... I could tell u i loved archie comics as a kid and i love the art style but thats not a good answer to the question bc it doesnt present itself in my work (and if it does its not on purpose) ykwim...i hope dis makes sense.
I always bring up Urasawa when this question comes up, like I love urasawa's art and often save lots of it for inspiration but my work doesnt really ever come out as an emulation of his as a result, it's more osmosed as I try to figure out how I want to draw, bc I haven't seen anyone who draws the way I'd like to yet. (Also using him as an example, as this is how I feel about all my other "inspirations").
Theres tons of different ways to draw every possible trait of a face or body etc, so I just do that, taking shapes and such from other artists i observe along the way without really picking up the influence (and if i do its never for very long), since I've yet to find anything im very happy with
#ive never understood how people do those inspiration boards and you can SEE how all the people they list influence their art#if i could scrounge together enough artists that inspire me then i dont think you'd even be able to tell unless you Guessed#if that makes sense#similarly i do have thousands of folders of artists and mutuals' art i have saved#to go look back at for inspiration...but its not direct inspiration#like zaftiguy2 on twitter (NSFW) is an inspiration of mine....you would never guess though bc what I osmose from his work doesn't#present itself very upfront in my stuff‚ if at all#does this make sense? i feel when ppl ask others this question is bc they wanna see more art adjacent to that of the person theyre asking#but unfortunately its not like that for me ykwim :(#id be much much better if there was someone who drew the way i want to draw that i could copy off of LOL#my art is so bad BECAUSE i feel like im making it from scratch. and im bad at coming up with things#anonymous#skunk mail#so thank u for thinking its unique bc i personally think its very generic as a result#like. entry level art style#off the top of my head artists i LIKE are kemafili manaohu and yawningyawns#on twitter....kemafili is on here though (kemafili1 on twitter)#those are artists i have in my ''fave'' folder. theres others i think but thats the only ones i can think of rn#i also have tons of artist folders saved in general but read my above statements about inspiration#eraserplains is another one... they're on tumblr too#i like raymodule (tumblr) and robottoast (twitter) but again not in a way where im like wow i want to draw exactly like that lets try
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been disillusioned with a lot of the left for a while, it's nice to at least see that other ppl see it now, though the reason why kinda fucking sucks.
#i used to think i could trust ppl bc of pride flags in their profile or them being trans or whatever#and then i put allll of my trust in that community not realizing theres a Multitudes of types of ppl in it#aside from even the fact some trans ppl can be nazis- some trans people- as much as it might make us look bad to admit-#are also predators and abusers and want to lie to you and use you for money and sexually abuse you and dump you like trash#and then accuse you of doing everything they did @u@;; ask me how i know!#so on the one hand im happy ppl see it now- it's not that leftists or queer ppl or feminists are better ppl- ppl more worthy to trust-#they're just as diverse and as good and as shitty as any other demographic of people.#you're gonna find shitty people everywhere. obviously you're more likely to find predators on the right but that doesnt mean theres not#plenty on the left too.#at a certain point calling yourself 'on the left' doesnt mean much aside from idk. thinking ppl need basic human rights?#and even then its apparent that some leftists dont think that. so who can say. maybe you wont misgender me? but nah- you will#if i disagree w you or if we get in a fight- i've seen plenty of leftists do this.#i just think the term is useless now.#i think the left is about to fracture into different groups at this point#anyways be weary traveler of ever putting all of ye trust into any group of people.#its possible to like ppl and enjoy being around them and still not fully trust them. and if something tells you to gtfo? you should#also putting all your trust in a group of ppl is a one way ticket into possibly joining a cult on accident#or at the very least a culty friendgroup
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
just want to assure all my friends and followers that, even though i havent been active in Ages, im still up to the usual: realizing that im more mentally ill than i initially thought, and calling aggressively heterosexual 80s singers faggots <3
#literally TELL ME that billy idol isnt a fag. you can’t!#also hey what the fuck is up with my brain i stg theres something new with this bitch every week#‘~ooh~ the diagnostic criteria for OSDD fits your brain like a glove’ goddamn girl can you chill? for one damn second?#why is it never that im just Not Like Other Girls and instead im just fucked up???#but noooo i had to have two specialists very quickly narrow in on that within one fucking week of eachother so idk!!!!#guess this is a Thing!!!#but yeah on a less silly note. spent a While on pluralpedia last night and um.#oh shit folks#things are making sense.#things are seeming Very Obvious in retrospect#(also idk if im Back yet. i wanna be n i really miss this space but also. its just not been Working for me yk)#anyways i hope ur all doing well and also plesae feel free to send me Messages or Posts if u want!#it might take me A Million Years (metric) to respond but i WILL see it and it will make me smile#f slur#whatever the fuck
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
even tho im technically a 5e perma-dm i havent been doing it for long enough to get truly fed up, especially since i still want to run the one big 5e fantasy game i never had the chance to do. Plus I have some engaged 5e players who help me keep the ones who dont even understand game rules on track. Having a second play group where i dont gm (hi owen!) also helps. My 5e players were down to try new systems and although they don't seem to share my excitment for finding new games, they're clearly down to follow me when I do - which raises the issue that I'd like some of them to gm stuff sometimes, mostly bc ive never been on the other side of the table with this specific group and I'd like to try.
#sometimes i wanna grab some of my players and be like DO U UNDERSTAND UR CLASS FEATURES#but on the other hand i have a few phenomenal players making highly optimized mechanical builds for fucking epic combat so#balances out#theres also the fact that i really enjoy the storyteller role i mean i genuinely like to tell story so!#i definitely see how i might in a few years get fed up. if i kept this pace#but it looks like i wont!#i already have one friend itching to gm stuff theyve been writing to pass time in top surgery recovery#i think i can persuade another one to gm curse of strahd (they wanted to try their hand at homebrewing a horror campaign last year)#some of them r even meeting my enthusiasm for trying new games#so like. the posts about how to escape perma dming 5e under pressure from your players dont quite hit for me#theyre like. warning signs lol. scary vision of a possible future i will avoid by making [names redacted] read the phb#and then just letting andie go to town with the campaign(s?) theyre writing now#my shit#d&d#ttrpgs#yeah#hi owen!!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
2018 vs 2024
#furry#fursona#sfw furry#furry art#yew art#this guy was my first ever fursona his name is berry... i dont use him much anymore but hes a good lil guy#i want to start posting my art more its very rare that i post it but i draw CONSTANTLY#i just get sad when no one pays attention when i post art but i know the only way to Get people to pay attention is to just post it anyway#plus i only have like 8 followers so theres barely anyone To look at it GDJSGSMS#i dont particularly want more followers tho i like to sit in my little corner. but that contrasts with 'i want more people to see my art'#my ideal would be everyone in the world is so niceys about my silly little drawings when i post them and then leaves me alone#but yeah usually i dont like my art reblogged even which complicates it more#but this is ok to rb if people want to bc im proud of it. im also nosey tell me what stands out about my style (if anything) if u want#i should start using this sona more again he used to be my main but im not really a bright colors guy anymore#i still want him as a fursuit so so badly though#ok tag ramble over thanks if you read it all
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love these ship name polls so mucj because you can TELL just by looking in the notes who claims to be in the fandom and hasnt actually watched the show. some of these are so obvious guys. pointing at the d.px.d/c fans like. you guys have not actually watched danny phantom and it shows
#IM SORRY. THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING EBER AND HAS BEEN FOR SO LONG. I CAN BE A LITTLE PRETENTIOUS ABOUT IT.#like. GUYS theyre literally called skulktech. if u are in the dp fandom and have not seen ultimate enemy dont even fukcjng TALK to me#thats the most important episode ever#AND I SAW SOMEONE CONFUSED OVER PHANTOM ROCKER.#thats#like#theres literally a rockstar ghost its SO easy to figure that one out. just from context clues#even the more ''obscure'' names. if u do not know pitch pearl. come on. i know that was mkre of a 2014 thing but COME ONNNNNNN#its just so deeply engrained into me that i cannot imagine not knowing them#the names of the CLASSIC ships. i know amethyst ocean fucking sucks as a name. but its the one thats like actually canon#guys i really wanna talk abt danny phantom can you tell.#i admit i was wrong about superfun but like FOR GOOD REASON. YOU HAVE SUPER DANNY AND FUN DANNY. WHY IS IT NOT CALLED SUPERFUN#<< if u are wondering btw. the actual name for them is heroic amusement. what the fuck.#the alt name is the great divide which is better bc it sounds cooler but COME ONNNN super fun was right there.#CAN I JUST SAY. I FUCKING HATE THAT AMETHYST OCEAN IS THE OFFICIAL NAME FOR DANNY AND SAM BECAUSE THE ALT NAME IS FAKEOUT MAKEOUT#AND THATS SOOOO MUCH BETTER. COME ONNNNN#THATS A JOKE THEY USE IN THE SHOW. COME ON.#im sorry im a dpxdc hater. i dont want to be. but its ALL i ever see in the tag anymore and im tireeddddd#im sure its good. im sure its really good. i can see it. i get it. but so many of u have not watched the show and thats just soooooooooo.#augh. let me be a little pretentious about dp. please#do not claim to know my boy if all u have ever seen of him is the fandom perception!!!!@#because a lot of the time!!! fanon danny is worse!!!!!! the fandom made him so. flat. like hes just an angst puppet now.#either that or Generic Superhero Boy.#like youve taken away all his personality....... i miss my boy#do u even know he loves space. do u even know he wrote an essay on the purpleback gorilla. do u even know he backwashes soda.#sorry...... i love him#BADGER CEREAL. LIKE. I HATE THAT AS A SHIP EBEN IF IT IS PLATONIC BUT LIKE. THE NAME. GUYS. ITS. LITERALLY IN THE FIRST EPISODE HES IN.#GUYS. I KNOW YOU ALL KNOW WHO VLAD IS. HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN BITTER REUNIONS.
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i finally took a shower aaaand also my hands are cold
#i spend my nights waiting for you#i scroll for hours waiting to see that notification badge pop up a number#oh look! theres one :) and oh- it's not you#close the app and keep distracting myself#then it's late enough ik u aren't coming back tonight#i didn't get to say goodnight again. </3#maybe i miss you everytime you leave. maybe i keep saying the wrong thibgs and. maybe. i shouldnt care so much#maybe im too scared to tell you how i feel cuz im scared of how bad it could hurt#maybe you dont care#maybe you want someone else#ik im a lot and too much and maybe im terrified of you hating me for it#maybe im the most scared of you leaving again#maybe i really am just making up nonsense and stupid thoughts#maybe i'll never be yours. maybe you'll never feel the same. maybe you dont actually feel the same. maybe you never have/will
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
why did my dysphoria have to choose right now to get rlly bad-
#i have fucking swimming lessons in like an hour where due to my fucking mother being there the gendered stuff is gonna be 10x worse#honest to god if i’m forced to use the womens changing room i will run into a busy road#god i fucking hate my mum nd her casual transphobia#like she’ll call me ryan (if i’m there + she’s not talking to my friend’s terf mum or my grandma)#but honest to god everything else is just-#like she uses she/they pronouns on me nd ALWAYS looks in the women’s section when sending my links for clothes#(even for shit like a t-shirt)#when i mentioned wanting to medically transition in the future she went all “noooo ur gonna ruin ur body for nothing !!”#and i think my grandma told her i used the mens bathroom that one time#bcz a couple weeks ago when she was telling me abt bathrooms at this place she was like#“and they have a gn toilet too but PLEASW don’t use the mens bathroom ok 🥺🥺🥺”#(i did later out of spite)#(also bcz i needed the toilet but yk)#and that’s not even mentioning what had to happen for her to change from [deadname] she/her to ryan she/they#and even then theres more that i can’t completely remember rn it’s just so fucking infuriating#stg one day i’m gonna yell at her (over text bcz i hate confrontation-) abt alla this nd block her but that’ll have to wait until i’m older#anyways yeah fuck everything i just wanna see my friend bro when r u free-#cw dysphoria#cw transphobia#trans#ig this is a vent-#as always feel free to rb idc#ryan shut the fuck up
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
You ever had a friendship where like you kind of faded out of each other's lives for a period of time and then re-bonded without ever really addressing the distance so now every time one of you mentions something you never told the other one during The Dark Time you both just have to be like "yeah, this massive thing that happened to me that we didn't talk about at the time but I totally wanted to tell you about but it felt like I couldn't talk to you but I'm also not gonna say it was your fault because I don't want to drive you away again but I know and you know exactly what it is we're not talking about"
#like. i dont blame her for what happened#she was going through a lot of bullshit and i was getting into my current relationship with our mutual friend#and the mutual friend in question it turns out had rejected her like a month and a half before asking me out#so like. things were weird and i dont blame her for not wanting to make a whole thing out of it#and i also get how it would be hard to see me like that with someone you had interest in#but also from my perspective at the time i started dating a boy i liked and my best friend just decided she couldnt be around me anymore#and even though i now have the full context and it doesnt hurt as badly theres still a part of me carrying resentment over it#ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary#like on the one hand i know this friendship is worth it because we're stronger than ever now#and shes gotten so much better about vulnerability and admitting i matter to her and communicating in general#but on the other hand it just keeps feeling like theres this elephant in the room that neither one of us has any idea how to address#and like i dont even know if it would be better if we did address it#like 'hey btw i know you had a crush on my now bf and tried to kiss him one time and then didnt tell me when he shrugged you off'#'i also know how much you tried to pretend it didnt hurt you but you distanced yourself from half your friends to avoid having to face it'#'and at the time it was rly frustrating because you acted like me being happy in a healthy relationship was a personal inconvenience to u'#'but i understand now and i forgive you and im glad you came back around eventually because i love you and i missed you'#or can all of those things just remain unsaid and understood
5 notes
·
View notes