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phantomhunting · 7 months ago

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We're Here and We're Queer // Sanders sides modern teen AU

CHAPTER 1 - queer teens have immense crushes on each other and wont fucking CONFESS ALREADY.

CW: implied abuse, and intrulogical being intrulogical (mostly Remus)

Ships: Logan x Remus, Roman x Virgil, Remy x Janus, Emile x Patton

Patton was sitting in his room in front of the mirror, trying to make his light cyan hair look good, but it was too messy. He sighed, the reflection of his soft blue eyes staring at him from the mirror. "I hate this" he whispered. He sighed again and got up, going to his closet and taking out his favorite top, a baby blue vest with a white button-up. He put it on and grabbed his school bag and walked downstairs to get some breakfast.

There wasn't much to eat at home, even though the Mor family (which Patton was part of) had a lot of money. He decided to eat some overly-sugary cereal with lactose free milk (because he's lactose intolerant). When Patton finished eating, he could hear his father walk up the stairs. He quickly washed the dishes he used and placed them neatly on the dish rack. He checked the time, '8:10' was what the clock read. "You're late to school again." his father exclaimed as he entered the room. Patton started breathing heavily, scared of what his father might do. "I-i was just leaving!" He grabbed his bag and ran out the house before his father could do anything. He ran all the way to school, not wanting to be even more late.

- - -

Virgil was sitting in the back of the class with his small dagger shaped fidget, barely listening to the teacher. He was waiting for the break so he could hang out with his friends. He and his older brother, Logan, have recently moved into this city, and a group of students have accepted them in as one of their own. Virgil always doubted if they actually liked them or if it was just because they're new, but at least he'll make the most of it. After two long and boring math classes, it was finally break time. Virgil put all his stuff in his locker and grabbed his food from his bag. He ran to the back of the school, which was where the group always stayed while in there. Roman, Patton, and Remus were already sitting and chatting there. Virgil was hesitant to approach, not wanting to intrude. Then, he suddenly felt a hand touch his shoulder. He jumped and let out a squeak, turning around to see... His older brother, Logan!

"Lo.. don't ever do that again" he tried to sound intimidating but he was so much smaller than him. "What did you get?" Logan asked, pointing at Virgil's lunchbox. "Oh- umm, it's just some bread with a piece of cheese on it" Virgil answered. "You know, you need to eat more than that, Virg" Logan's tone seemed harsh, but Virgil knew Logan cared a lot about him. They both walked over to the group, and sat down next to them.

"Virgil! Logan!" Patton called, happy to see his friends. "Hello!" Remus called as well, only happy to see Logan. "Hi..!" Roman whispered quietly to Virgil, blushing slightly. "Hey, Roman.." Virgil responded, hoping his makeup hides his red face. "Ree, is that new?" Virgil asked, pointing at the collar on Remus' neck. "Why won't you ask your brother~?" Remus responded, making a flirty face to Logan. "Ew- you could've just said yes" Virgil wanted to throw up thinking about his brother and Roman's brother having... Adult times. Remus scoffed. "Has anyone seen Barry? We were supposed to study now but he's not responding to my texts." Logan quickly changed the topic. "Probably still asleep, he oversleeps constantly" Remus responded, taking out his bottle (that's full of some blue liquid that seems full of sugar) and taking a sip. Logan is disgusted by the drink, but moves on, "he's usually here by now..." he checks his phone's notifications again. "Ugh, why does it matter? We're having a conversation here now" Remus rolled his eyes.

There was silence for a few seconds, only the sounds of Patton's chocolate chip cookies in his mouth were heard. "Wassup nerds" Janus sat next to his younger brother, Patton, and placed his bag of oatmeal cookies besides him. "Good morning, Jan" Remus smiled. Virgil and Roman rolled their eyes, they both disliked Janus a bit too much. Janus flashed a sarcastic smile back at them both, raising the tension.

"hey, Remus, may i speak to you in private?" Logan asked, cutting the tension. "Ooo~" Remus smirked. "About a serious topic. Now." Logan hurried. "Alright alright" Remus got up, and Logan followed. They both walked inside the building, they were out of sight in a moment. "Well.... Uh, Roman, did you see the vid i sent you?" Virgil asked, attempting to start a conversation without Patton or Janus. "I did! Wait- we're talking about the dnd one, right?" Roman hurried to clarify, and Virgil nodded, "yeah so i did watch it, it seemed really interesting! I'd love to do a game with you some day" Roman blushed. Virgil smiled awkwardly, wanting to show Roman his years of campaign planning just for him, but he knew it'd seem weird. "Hey, lovebirds, there are more people sitting with you" Janus exclaimed, signaling at himself and his brother. Roman and Virgil both burst into denying chatter, while Patton giggled to himself. They all spent the rest of the break talking about some math teacher that got pregnant from a different teacher. Remus and Logan didn't come back.

- - -

At the end of the school day, as Patton walked out, he saw two cute boys talking right outside the school's gate. He took a deep breath and approached them. "H-hey! My name is Patton, and I think you look really cool, wanna be friends?" He asked, seeming as innocent as a baby. The taller one chuckled, "sure. Im Remy, this is my twin brother, Emile" he smiled, and took a sip out of his coffee. Emile smiled a bit, already knowing he's got feelings for Patton, he always saw him around, hanging with hus classmate, Virgil, and he always seemed so sweet and caring. It was obvious he liked puns, just perfect for him. "He's awkward" Remy whispered to Patton, and preceded to be slapped by Emile. Patt giggled, but in a friendly way rather than a bullying way. Thats when Janus whispered into Patton's ear, "we need to get home, bitch" and laughed.

"LANGUAGE!!" Patton shouted. Janus just kept laughing. "Sorry, uh, this is my brother, Janus" he explained to his new friends. "Is Janus your actual name?" Emile asked, his sweet honey colored eyes glowing with curiosity. "Nope, its Julia. But i really hate that name, so i changed it. Too feminine" Janus explained, grabbing Patton's hand, "now, me and my beloved brother need to head home. See ya!" he dragged him off to the bus stop.

- - -

"he was amazing!!" Emile called, flapping his hands. "His brother was hotter." Remy replied, sipping his coffee like the bad bitch that he is. "Sometimes i really dont get how you're my twin brother and not some distant uncle of an uncle" Em joked. "What can i say, I'm the Picani with the most personality" Remy flipped imaginary hair (his hair is too short). "Pfft, yeah, right. You dont even know what you're gonna do next week, i already know what im learning in college." Emile joked as they both started walking home.

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onthevirgeofdestruction · 1 year ago

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Words: 5,024 Warnings: Food, Fear, Pain/Sickness (due to food texture/intolerance), Crying, Bickering (Playful), Misconceptions Characters: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Roman, Logan Genre: Hurt/Comfort Additional Tags: Virgil Sanders is a good Brother, Logan Sanders is extra about nutrition, Patton Sanders has a sensitive palette, Janus Sanders is a chaos gremlin, Roman Sanders is extra about cooking, Boys will be Boys™

A Whole Castle - Chapter 25 (timeline: #5)

Patton stiffened when he heard the front door open, but Virgil hugged Patton to his side tighter in a gesture of safety. Patton had been glued to Virgil since he got here, but he hadn’t gotten better about the adults, yet. Roman smiled widely at the trio and came in, locking up behind himself and carrying a few bags of groceries. Both Virgil and Janus sat up to greet him, though Virgil kept his arm around Patton.

“Good evening boys. Lovely to see you again, Janus. Are you staying for dinner?” Roman greeted with a dramatic bow. Patton liked it when he did that and calmed down a little.

“Are you cooking?” Janus asked evenly with a raised eyebrow.

“Roasted pork stuffed with spinach, prosciutto, and gruyère served with crispy potatoes, green beans, honey-glazed carrots, and cranberry sauce,” Roman announced proudly. Virgil and Janus shared a lovingly exasperated smile with each other from the couch. Patton grimaced at the mention of carrots, and he didn’t know what those ‘stuffed’ words meant, and he didn’t like the sound of them.

“Yes, then I believe I will. Is the spinach—”

“The flavour is well-hidden, yes. Just a few more greens to get away with the sides without a lecture from dad. I also picked up shortbread cookies for a little dessert. I want sweet things today.” Roman lifted his arm to display the grocery bags with a grin before heading into the kitchen.

“Dad’s still going to want to kill you for the fancy ham and cheese,” Virgil called after him. Patton didn’t like the sound of that either, and he didn’t remember Roman mentioning those. He didn’t follow what was happening for dinner.

“It’s only just enough to hide the spinach. He married me, he can deal with my refined palette,” Roman replied airily and started pulling out the things he needed to make dinner, feeling pleased with himself. The more they talked about dinner, the more scared and confused Patton got about it.

Virgil just laughed quietly at that, keeping a careful hold on Patton. Janus smiled and reclined back into the couch. “He’s going to spoil me for my own cooking one day,” Janus joked mildly.

“We’re all going to grow up into being food snobs. When we’re living off of instant noodles in college, we’ll be shoplifting fancy things to class it up, so we can stomach it,” Virgil joked back, leaning into the couch again.

“No shoplifting boys, you can always come home to get spoiled on my cooking even worse,” Roman called from the kitchen playfully. Patton gripped Mrs. Bunnyface harder. He didn’t like that word. That was a mean word, but he hadn’t heard it used like that before. Patton thought that spoiled food is food that had gone bad.

“You’re not gonna eat gross food, are you?” Patton looked up at Virgil, asking quietly.

Virgil laughed and ruffled Patton’s hair with his hand. “No, Pat, it’s good food,” he reassured Patton lightheartedly.

“Spoiled for something means you have so many fancy things that the regular things aren’t as good anymore,” Janus explained, crossing his leg on the other side of the couch and leaning on the couch arm.

“Oh. Can he do that?” Patton looked at Janus with concern. He didn’t understand how that worked.

“They’re good at it, if anything,” Virgil said lightheartedly and wrapped his other arm around to give Patton a hug. “It’s not a bad thing, Pat,” he added when he didn’t see Patton’s face un-scrunch from the idea.

“It sounds bad,” Patton muttered.

“It just means having standards,” Janus said flippantly, tossing out his hand. The motion knocked some hair loose from his newsboy cap, and he tucked it back in carefully.

“Having high standards sucks sometimes,” Virgil said bitterly, sinking back into the couch.

“’Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,” Roman quoted from the kitchen, still busying himself on preparing this large dinner.

“Hard pass,” Janus muttered, and Virgil snickered at that. Patton was completely lost, chewing on his thumb, while he tried to turn his focus back to the TV. He didn’t know what Phineas and Ferb were up to anymore, either. Patton felt funny.

“Virge?” Patton muttered, holding his stomach.

“What’s up?” Virgil looked down at him, frowning when he saw his face.

“Can you get me water?” Patton whispered, not wanting Roman to know or to be alone in the kitchen with him.

“’Course, Patty.” Virgil kissed Patton’s hair and got up from the couch. “Hold on to Mrs. Bunnyface for me tight, okay?” He pointed to the rabbit and headed to the kitchen to get Patton water in one of his no-spill cups.

“Are you alright, Patton? If you’re worried about what we were talking about, we were just playing,” Janus said softly, throwing a glance at Virgil as he passed.

“Mm-hm,” Patton hummed, keeping his grip on his doll as Virgil told him to. He pulled up his feet onto the couch all the way and wrapped up around his bunny. Something blew up in the cartoon, attracting Janus’s interest, but Patton just kept brushing his fingers against Mrs. Bunnyface’s fur and looking at the floor.

Virgil came back with the water, bumping Patton’s hand with it. “Great job, bud, you kept Mrs. Bunnyface nice and safe,” he said softly. Patton looked at him with wide eyes and accepted the water, and Virgil sat back down on the couch next to him, wrapping his arm back over his little shoulders.

Patton drank tentatively, holding the cup on his lap next to the rabbit plush when he was done. “Sorry, Janus, I think I need to stay with Patton,” Virgil whispered over to him.

“It’s a non-issue, Virgil, I actually enjoy Phineas and Ferb.” Janus waved him off, looking bored all the same.

“You’re just idea-mining for good pranks, aren’t you,” Virgil teased.

Janus shot Virgil a mischievous grin. “That, too.” His face reset back to neutral quickly. “But I’m not at home and haven’t been doing schoolwork, so this is preferable.”

“Oh, shoot. Homework, I almost forgot. Dad can help us with any math after dinner, but we still have an English assignment,” Virgil hissed, sounding concerned. Patton turned back to the screen, watching the colours and hoping that didn’t mean Virgil was going to leave.

“I’ll get you the textbook, you can read the passage out loud, and I’ll come up with some answers. We can figure it out from there,” Janus suggested, reaching over the side of the couch for his backpack.

“You also just don’t want to have to read it yourself,” Virgil accused playfully, accepting the textbook that Janus passed over to him and adjusting his arm around Patton after he set it on his lap.

“What must you think of me, Virgil.” Janus held his hand to his chest in mock offense, and Virgil stuck out his tongue. Janus returned the expression with an additional sneer before flipping out a notebook to take notes. “Page 148 is the start of the story.”

Virgil sighed and flipped the pages to the correct one with one hand and put up his feet on the couch to hold up the textbook to read. “North Richmond Street, being blind, was a quiet street except at the hour when the Christian Brothers' School set the boys free,” Virgil started to read out loud.

“Boys, is this okay for Patton to hear?” Roman called out from the kitchen, accompanied by the sounds of his knife on the cutting board as he prepped the food.

“It’s about a boy who likes a girl who doesn’t like him back, Mr. Sanders,” Janus let him know right away.

“Yeah, and the language is stupid flowery, it should be okay. I’ll stop if it sounds dicey.”

“Ah, wonderful. You know I worry. Thank you boys for getting your homework done, too. Would you like to sneak some milk and cookies before Logan gets home?” Roman offered temptingly. Virgil and Janus shared a grin at each other, and Janus hopped up from the couch to head into the kitchen for their spoils.

“Why we would never, Mr. Sanders. Which cabinet has Patton’s cups in them, again?” Janus asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Oh, of course you wouldn’t. To the right, bottom shelf.” Roman pointed with the knife he was using. “Cookies are still in the bag, two each I think is plenty for you two, but just give Patton one with less milk, he has a small appetite. Use a plate so you don’t get crumbs all over the couch. Store-bought is very crumbly.” He smiled conspiratorially and got back to chopping.

Janus pulled out the cookies, looking around the kitchen in surprise when the cookie package was the only thing left in the bag. “Did you already get the pork in the oven?”

“I had to learn to be fast to get away with the things I want to cook, didn’t I?” Roman winked at Janus, who smiled at that. He doled out a shared plate for himself and Virgil, and got a smaller one for Patton, and returned to the living room. “Bring the dishes back in twenty minutes tops so that I can clean them off, and he’ll be none the wiser,” Roman requested after Janus, who’s smile only grew. Janus liked Roman’s style sometimes.

Everyone in the living room took a cookie break, including Patton, who was a little confused to get the single cookie on the plate from Janus and a half-filled cup of milk. He liked shortbread cookies, and it helped him feel a little better. He was able to focus back on the cartoon, and Janus returned their dishes to the kitchen hastily to an extremely pleased Roman before he settled back down on the couch and picked up the notebook again with a “Proceed.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and grabbed the open textbook off the couch and returned it to his legs to read. “An uninhabited house of two stories stood at the blind end, detached from its neighbours in a square ground,” Virgil continued on with the story, and they worked on their homework together.

When Logan got home, he was pleased to see the boys doing—well, perhaps arguing over—their homework and Patton accounted for along with them. Whatever Roman was making hit his nose, and it smelled utterly enticing, so he went to go kiss his husband to thank him for all of his hard work in the kitchen before he did anything else. Roman was delighted to see him as usual, making the long staff meeting feel much farther away with each kiss. He headed off to shower after a quick check up for the amount of time he had left until dinner was ready in the meantime.

Things were much quieter after they finished answering the questions for their English homework. Virgil’s notebook remained open to copy Janus’s answers after dinner, and they left out their math textbook to get help from Logan after dinner and reclined on the couch. Virgil had checked to see if Patton wanted to play outside, but he didn’t feel up to it, so they just kept watching TV, though Virgil and Janus were also partially on their phones.

“Dinner’s ready! Come eat, boys!” Roman announced proudly, now singing about how food was best fresh. He set up Patton’s booster in a chair and started serving him, though he substituted out the carrots for a dinner roll.

“Thank you again, love,” Logan said fondly, though now that he could see the whole meal out on the table, he blinked a few times. “Isn’t this… excessive?” He asked as kindly as he could manage, though his concern was clear.

“There’s spinach in that small pork roast, darling,” Roman said airily.

Logan looked at the slices in the roasting pan, seeing the contents. “That’s not just spinach.”

“Young tongues don’t find spinach quite as good as we do.” Roman shrugged, brushing off his concern.

“Yeah, dad, it’s kind of gross unless you smother it in cheese or dressing,” Virgil agreed, walking into the kitchen holding Patton’s hand, then helping him up on the chair.

“I likely wouldn’t eat it without the frills, either, Mr. Sanders,” Janus stated, backing up Roman. Virgil set up Patton in his seat and sat next to him, Janus sitting on the other side of Virgil.

“There are plenty of frills here already,” Logan pointed out, eying the spread.

“Oh, hush up and eat.” Roman kissed Logan’s head and handed him a plate to serve himself, passing off plates to everyone else at the table quickly.

“It looks awesome, papa,” Virgil said excitedly, taking a fork to grab a slice of pork from the roast right away. Roman sat down, absolutely beaming and happy to enjoy exactly what he’d been craving since he started cooking.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Sanders,” Janus added, jostling Virgil playfully to reach for food himself.

Patton looked at the plate with concern. He didn’t have the carrots Roman mentioned, but… He picked up his fork tentatively and poked at a green bean. It looked bad. “Make sure you eat your meat, Patton,” Roman said softly. Patton nodded and looked at it. It looked okay? He watched Virgil take a bite, and he seemed to like it.

“You’re right, the prosciutto and gruyère are way better than stupid bacon and cheddar,” Virgil said happily, looking incredibly mischievous.

“Roman,” Logan said flatly, staring him down. Roman shot Virgil a quick bitter look before turning to Logan with a soft smile.

“What, I only bought just enough for the meal, it wasn’t much,” Roman defended himself and Virgil snickered softly. “Try it, trust me.” Logan took a tentative bite, clearly enjoying it as well. He deflated slightly and nodded to Roman, motioning that he conceded the victory to him. “Thank you,” Roman said smugly and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek before digging in himself.

Patton watched them all eat, and they all looked like they were enjoying it, so he took a bite of the cut-up pieces of roast pork himself. As soon as the filling hit his tongue, his mouth hurt badly. It felt really wrong. He tried to chew it, but it just made him sicker. After some fighting, he swallowed it, but that feeling only made him feel worse. Patton put down his fork and held his stomach.

Logan glanced over to check on Patton, seeing he had barely touched anything. “Patton, is something wrong?” Logan asked softly while Virgil and Janus bickered about their English homework again.

“N-no,” Patton responded, not wanting to get in trouble.

“Then please eat, Patton. You don’t have to finish the plate, but as much as you can. You’ve had one of those rolls before if you’re concerned about unfamiliar food,” Logan told him, pointing with his fork to the roll. Patton looked at the roll and reached out for it, taking a bite. He didn’t know what those other words were, but he liked the roll. It made his head hurt, though.

“It’s not too hard, Patton, just eat what you can and let us know what you can’t,” Roman reassured him. Patton frowned. ‘Not hard’ is one of those lies adults tell. They mean it’s hard, but they want him to do it anyway. Then they get mad.

Patton paused, staring at the roll. Did that mean all the food hurt? Was this a punishment? Why were they making him eat food that hurt? Did he have to eat it because it hurt and he’s been bad? Patton put down his fork and roll as the tears welled up, hopping out of his dining chair to run to his room. Everyone watched him rush off in surprise, the kitchen going silent.

“Patton?” Virgil asked, hearing a door close on the other side of the living room. Logan and Roman got up to follow, while Janus and Virgil tried to figure out what the hell just happened.

“Do you think we were arguing too much?” Virgil asked quietly.

“I doubt it, he didn’t mind us arguing on the couch earlier. He stayed under your arm the whole time and watched TV like he didn’t care,” Janus replied softly. Virgil looked at Patton’s plate, but the only thing even touched was the roast pork.

“Crap, I should probably go in there. I think Logan and Roman scare him more than he lets on,” Virgil whispered. “Sorry about this,” he added, getting up out of his seat.

“More for me.” Janus just shrugged, taking a big bite of potato. Virgil just rolled his eyes and went to Patton’s bedroom. Patton started openly bawling right as he exited the kitchen, so Virgil picked up the pace.

“Hey, uh, dads?” Virgil got their attention at the door and motioned with his head. They looked at him, both wearing completely panicked expressions.

“We need to handle this, Virgil,” Logan said just loud enough to be heard over the sobbing child.

“I know, maybe I should, though?” Virgil said warily.

“Virgil, we appreciate it, but—”

“I think you guys scare him!” Virgil blurted out, pushing his way into the bedroom anyway. “Please?” He sat down on the floor next to Patton and pulled him in, who fell into Virgil’s chest immediately, even though he’d shied away from the other two before Virgil got here. Roman and Logan looked at each other, deciding what was best for both of their wards, and Roman took Logan’s hand, pulling Logan out of the room.

“There could be a real problem, Roman,” Logan protested in a hushed voice.

“And I don’t think he’s saying anything until he calms down, honey. Let’s get back to dinner and Virgil will let us know, alright?” Roman said emphatically, looking at Virgil, who nodded in agreement. They both left the room and shut the door behind them, returning to the kitchen.

Virgil felt incredibly out of his depth, but considering Patton was balled up in a corner, he was probably the only person here who could even help. He wrapped his arms around Patton and rubbed his back, and Patton gripped onto Virgil’s hoodie as he wailed. His hoodie was getting absolutely soaked with snot, he was sure, but Virgil had no idea what to say at all, since he had no idea what was so terrible about dinner that he had to work with.

Patton just kept crying and hiccuping, and sometimes he’d let out broken words that Virgil couldn’t possibly understand, so Virgil just opted to let him cry himself out. Virgil couldn’t solve the problem right now, even if he wanted to. He just tried to be silently supportive the best he knew how.

Eventually, the crying broke down into what seemed like a painful fit of hiccups, since it shook his whole tiny body when they struck. Virgil smiled sadly and told him, “Take as deep a breath as you can, and then breathe in more. And it’s going to hurt a little, but it’ll make the hiccups go away.”

Patton stared at him while he processed that and did as asked, breathing in. He didn’t know how to breathe in more after he did as much as he could, so Virgil showed him by example, exaggerating the action. It made him a little light-headed, but Patton’s hiccups stopped a moment later. Virgil smiled and rubbed his back a few times, pulling him up to sit on his lap and hold on to him better. Patton gripped at Virgil’s hoodie again and leaned his head against Virgil’s chest, struggling through a pained yawn.

“Are you okay, Patton?” Virgil asked quietly, not wanting to hurt Patton’s head or scare him any further.

“Yeah,” Patton muttered.

“Then what freaked you out so much?” Virgil whispered, and Patton sniffled hard, another tear rolling down his cheek.

“I don’ wanna be punished,” he replied pitifully.

“What do you think you’re getting punished for?” Virgil felt even more lost than before, and Patton balled up again on Virgil’s lap, crying a little more. Virgil hugged him and swayed lightly, hoping it would help.

“I-I don’ know why,” Patton choked out.

“What makes you think you’re being punished then?” Virgil followed up, not sure what was happening. They had had a very low-key day up until now.

“It hurts, and they were telling me I gotta,” Patton sniffled pitifully.

“What hurts, Pat?” Virgil kept him held close, making sure Patton felt safe, but Patton started crying again. Okay, he’d have to sleuth it out himself. “Spending time with them?” Patton shook his head into Virgil’s chest. “Me fighting with Janus?” He suggested guiltily. Patton shook his head again, letting out a whine this time. Okay, probably farther. “… Eating dinner?” Virgil guessed the last thing he could think of, and Patton nodded, crying again. “Was it too hot?” Patton shook his head once more. The food itself? “Pat, that food isn’t a punishment. We didn’t know it hurt you. We can just get you something else to eat, it’s okay.”

Patton kept crying a little longer, and Virgil just tried to rub his back a little this time. He needed to change his hoodie and shirt at this point, and it felt gross, but he could wait it out for Patton a little bit longer. He shifted back into sniffles much quicker this time, loosening up his grip on Virgil’s hoodie with an exhausted expression on his face. “I’m not in trouble?” Patton finally asked, his voice creaking from his poor, worn-out throat.

“You’re not in trouble. Are you still hungry?” Virgil asked with concern. He really hadn’t eaten much, and he was already so small. Patton nodded wearily, and Virgil tried to remember what snacks he’d seen Patton eat without complaint these last few days. He’d had applesauce, crackers, a few different fruits, rice, and french fries. So he could possibly eat some of what was made. “Okay, how about I put you together something?”

Patton just looked at him for a moment before nodding. “Cool. Wait for me in here, I need to go change, and I’ll be right back,” Virgil requested and kissed Patton’s hair. Patton nodded weakly again, and Virgil gently moved Patton off his lap and got up to change his hoodie and shirt and wash off his chest before he went near food again. He decided not to look down and surveil the carnage, and instead just toss them in his hamper and grab a shirt off his clean clothes pile before washing off in the bathroom.

Virgil was back quickly, and Patton hadn’t moved, just leaned up against the wall in the bedroom. “I’m sorry that was so bad, Pat,” Virgil murmured, leaning down to pick him up. “Let’s go wash your face first before we put more food in it.” He carried Patton to the bathroom and set Patton up on his stool, and he sluggishly washed off his face in the sink while Virgil texted Logan and Roman that he’d tell them what was wrong after dinner but to just let him be when they came back. He didn’t want to spook Patton back out of the kitchen. Virgil helped him dry off and Patton held up his arms again, so Virgil just carried him right into the kitchen and onto his booster chair, shooting Logan and Roman a meaningful look.

Logan was about to start, but Virgil held up a finger to his mouth and pulled out his phone, and pointed to it before scooping everything but the cranberry sauce and potatoes off the plate and onto his own. Logan made a frustrated sound, but Roman hushed him, holding up his phone screen. Virgil took a deep breath to try to calm down, getting an apple and a banana and prepping them for Patton’s plate instead. He wasn’t sure it was enough food to be a meal, but they’d figure that out if he even finished this stuff. Patton looked up at Virgil with wet eyes, glancing down at the plate with worry and back up at him again.

“These other two might be okay, and I saw you didn’t try them yet,” Virgil said reassuringly.

“Virgil, there’s no protein there,” Logan whispered. Right. Okay. What was a protein that Patton had eaten recently? Virgil thought hard for a moment before remembering a childhood staple and pulling it out of the pantry. He dished out a scoop of smooth peanut butter on the plate with an apologetic shrug to Logan, capping it off and putting it away again.

“Oh, apples and peanut butter were one of my favourites as a kid,” Janus hummed, trying to cheer Patton up a bit. Patton frowned, pushing his food around on the plate.

“I jazz them up a bit more now, but I have them after school sometimes. Pat, if anything else hurts, just tell me and we’ll figure something else out. But your stomach might hurt a little from what you already ate, so start with the banana and some water to settle it, okay?” Virgil suggested softly, sitting back down in his seat. Thankfully, his food hadn’t gone cold by now, so he still got to eat. Logan and Roman looked extremely disconcerted by his comment, but he needed energy from his awesome dinner to deal with it.

Patton had some water and reached for the banana slices, just opting to eat with his hands this time, and he ate slowly, but he did at least eat. Virgil breathed a sigh of relief, digging into his delicious dinner now. That stressed him the hell out, but he made it through it. Hopefully, he could deal with the extremely stressful conversation later, too, but they were letting him eat his dinner in peace for now.

Janus jostled him and mouthed ‘you okay?’ at him, and Virgil nodded. “I’m fine. Dad, can we get help with our math homework after dinner?” Virgil looked up, asking through a mouth full of now slightly-less-than-crispy roasted potatoes.

“Swallow before talking, Virgil,” Roman protested tiredly, though he did at least seem slightly amused.

“After we—”

“Yeah, dad, after I explain. Just let us eat dinner, okay?” Virgil requested, but Logan didn’t seem satisfied with that. Virgil tried to think of how to word this without Patton knowing what he was saying. “There are a… selection of topics I would need to verbalize… that might be distressing for… present company. Anything consumed is better than nothing.” As far as Virgil was concerned, there was no way he could figure out to say ‘he needs to see a doctor’ without using any words that Patton would understand and Logan would comprehend.

“Oh, nice,” Janus congratulated him impishly. Logan and Roman stared at Virgil for a moment, but Virgil just turned to check on Patton instead. He had grabbed a potato medallion to try, and he didn’t like biting into it. Virgil picked up another medallion and took the skin off and handed Patton his fork to eat the soft inside, who tried this suspiciously but did at least go for another bite. Virgil wasn’t sure what was different from fries, but knew better than to question it and just wanted to make sure Patton ate something so that his parents wouldn’t have a conniption. Roman watched curiously but didn’t comment.

After a pause, Logan finally responded. “I anticipate the situation warrants the lack of vegetal variety?” He asked and Virgil rolled his eyes while Patton chewed, looking mildly confused but much too tired to emote much.

“It may very well be as such.” Virgil didn’t know any other way to disguise a plain ‘probably’, and Janus snickered at his statement. Patton looked at Virgil oddly, but Virgil just smiled at him, seeing that he made progress on the other roasted potatoes by taking off the skin himself. “See? Thanks for trying, Pat. I know it was scary,” Virgil congratulated him softly, which utterly melted Roman’s heart, and he covered his mouth trying to hide his reaction, but Janus noticed and snickered.

Virgil just huffed and elbowed him, but he didn’t care, leaning over to tease Virgil behind his hand. “A little young to be a teen mom, aren’t we?”

“I’m a better mother than you’ll ever be,” Virgil whispered back playfully.

“You’re certainly right about that, but you’ll see who’s your daddy with the next prank I cooked up,” Janus whispered back again.

“If you came up with it from Phineas and Ferb, I’m not that worried,” Virgil sassed back under his breath.

“We’ll see,” Janus replied cryptically. Roman looked at Janus oddly. “You’re a wonderful cook, Mr. Sanders. Do you think you could show me a few tricks on a night when we don't have homework?” Janus asked enthusiastically, distracting Roman right away.

“It would be my honour, Janus.” Roman beamed, and Virgil snickered behind his hand between bites of pork roast. Patton made more progress on his meal, eating slowly but surely without further complaint, so at least the stuff Virgil came up with as a substitute worked. Patton took an apple slice and curiously dipped it into the cranberry sauce and greedily went for another scoop, so it was going well now.

‘Suck up,’ Virgil mouthed at Janus, jostling him slightly.

“You’re just jealous of my prowess,” Janus leaned in and informed him of his deficiencies under his breath.

“Boys, why does this happen almost every dinner?” Logan asked rhetorically and rolled his eyes, no longer as concerned as earlier now that Patton was eating.

“You know what it’s like to be a teen boy, darling, they’re just having fun,” Roman said cheerily, chuckling a little. Janus grinned and held up his fist for a fist bump from Virgil, who returned it right away, sharing in his victory. Roman hummed delightedly at the friendly expression, and Logan scooped some more green beans onto Roman’s plate with a smile. Roman was mock aghast at, pouting out his lip.

“I suppose I do.”

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